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God’s gifts.

It’s 12:52 a.m., and I can quite honestly say I’ve never felt this feeling before.

I just felt this weird stirring in my spirit to write what I’ve heard God speak to me today.

For the past 3-4 months or so, I’ve been telling my fiancé that I need his help rebranding Scripted By Syd, so that I can open an Etsy shop after we get married this summer.

Today, I read a post on Instagram that said something along the lines of “stop waiting for the perfect time.”

I had been telling myself I don’t have time to open an Etsy shop because I’m in school, planning a wedding and working (and trying to find a full-time job for after graduation). Oddly, in these past 3-4 months, I’ve also developed a very bad habit of laziness.

I’m only in six hours (that’s two classes) and the requirements of them both are very minimal, especially compared to last semester (which was the hardest semester of my college career). As for the wedding, mostly everything is planned, and the things that need to be completed aren’t really tasks I can do being at school away from home. And work, well, doesn’t really take up THAT much of my time.

So I’ve found myself wasting time. Watching too much Keeping Up with the Kardashians, playing on my phone, and doing a whole lot of nothing.

Up until today, I had been telling myself that I deserve to rest and relish these lazy days, because after graduation they would be over. But reflecting on my college experience, realizing that these days are quickly coming to an end (graduation is in 15 days), had me notice that while I still have so many beginnings to look forward to, my life thus far has gone by so fast. These four years went by in such a whirlwind, I feel like I’m just trying to grasp it all. I don’t want to take any day that God has given me for granted.

So I stopped waiting around, because there really never is a perfect time to do anything. None of us are really ever “ready” to graduate college, get married, have kids, pursue our dreams or any other major life events. Today, I decided I would take one step in pursuing my dream.

The gift and passion that the Lord has blessed me with is calligraphy. I have so many visions of how far I want to go with this gift, and there’s no better time than now to really pursue it. I’ve had an Instagram account for two years and have been selling custom pieces here and there for about a year now. But to take this passion to the next step, I knew I had to open an Etsy shop.

As of today, there are only two items on my Etsy, ScriptedBySydStore. While I’ve finally had the courage to open my store, there’s still a long way to go. And it’s okay to start out small. We all have to start somewhere, and if only having two items on my store means I’m one step closer to getting to share the love of God by creating meaningful art every day, then now is the time to do it.

In the back of my head, I’ve always wondered what it would be like if I just did calligraphy for a living, or if this gift is part of God’s calling on my life. What I know for sure is that with each step of faith I take, God will reveal more and more of His perfect plan and purpose for me.

To whoever is reading this, I just want to encourage you to take one step towards your dream. Don’t be afraid to share the gifts God has given you with others. That voice in the back of your head is there for a reason (and it’s probably God). Tomorrow isn’t promised, so don’t take today for granted. There’s no perfect time like now.

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walk by faith.

In 2 Corinthians 5:6, Paul says, “So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, for we walk by faith, not by sight.”

For me, when I hear “walk by faith,” I think of simply trusting in the promises God has for my life, even when I can’t see them manifesting themselves yet. I think of living my life every day, just trusting in God and His plan for me. While this can certainly be one interpretation of what Paul means by walking by faith, I think he wants us to dig a little deeper.

In this passage, Paul is telling the Corinthians that even if our earthly home or other possessions are destroyed, we still have a home in Heaven. He goes along to say that when unexpected or bad things happen to us, God has prepared our hearts for those moments, and the Holy Spirit is our guarantee that no circumstance can get in the way of His will. When we feel weak or in despair by our current state, God displays His strength and mercy by seeing us through those difficult times. He shows us that regardless of how we feel physically or mentally in the present moment, we are made strong in the faith that is given to us by His spirit.

“For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For in this tent we groan, longing to be put on our heavenly dwelling … He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who has given us the Spirit as a guarantee” (2 Corinthians 5:1-5).

Based on these passages, I believe walking by faith isn’t just simply trusting in God. I believe walking by faith means practicing a heavenly perspective (which takes a LOT of practice, because it’s really hard) and fixing our eyes not on the temporary circumstances or things or stuff that comes with life on earth, but on the constant and eternal love, joy, and grace that comes with following Jesus. I love how Paul uses the words “groan” and “longing” when he mentions those of us who are following Christ thinking about being in Heaven with our Savior. If we are just on this earth for a fleeting moment, and we know it’s not our home, but Heaven is, why are we so concerned about the things that won’t even follow us into eternity? One day I could lose my house, wreck my car, get laid off a job – then what will I have left? The love of God. Everything on this earth is temporary except for Him. And when we focus on the fact that the Holy Spirit is our guarantee, we will be able to live life to the fullest, knowing that no matter what happens, nothing is powerful enough to get in the way of God’s plan for our lives.

Walking by faith means living by what you can’t see: trust, joy, hope, love. The things we can see: Instagram likes, what car we drive, having the most trendy pair of shoes – seem to consume our lives far more often than the former. Walking by faith means living like you wish you were in Heaven and trying to bring a piece of that heavenly joy down on earth. That’s why God put you here, isn’t it? To show His love to all people? While walking by faith certainly is a blind trust in what God has promised for your life, I think that walk also presents itself in the way we live. Being kind, putting others before ourselves, and not worrying about things that don’t follow us into Heaven. When we shift our perspective into a Heavenly one, it helps us to prioritize what’s really important. So the next time you see someone else driving your dream car or living in the neighborhood you can’t afford, remind yourself that walking by faith isn’t based on the stuff you possess or your present conditions. It’s about living in the eternal joy that no circumstance can change.

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expectant.

We’ve all heard the saying, “time flies when you’re having fun.”

Whoever said it, they weren’t joking.

Today, I will begin my first day of class for the last time. When you’re nine years old, then 13, then 18, you never think about this day actually coming. The beginning of the end, the first of the lasts. Throughout your whole “career” as a student, so much anticipation builds around attending a college or university and becoming a productive member of society. It’s a lot of pressure, but college brings so much necessary growth and a sense of freedom; it provides friendships and hardships, good times and bad. It’s been one of the best experiences of my life.

Having just gotten engaged and moving into a tiny apartment with my sister, I’ve been doing a lot of self-reflection lately. I’ve been feeling so overwhelmed with joy and love, and so blessed with this life God has given me. Last school year was a tough one for me – with my broken foot, I often felt defeated and overcome with confusion of who I’m going to be, what career I’m going to choose and letting frustration get the best of me. I spent many days and nights in solitude, which sometimes was for the best, but neglected to take advantage of the wonderful experiences that college life brings.

So for my last year at this incredible school, the University of Arkansas, I’m writing this post as a reminder to myself to remain expectant of the future to come, to be grateful for my experiences in college so far and to relish in these sweet moments that will go by far too quickly. Regardless of the fact that I don’t know what I want to do with my life (no matter how many times people ask me); or the fact that I will be consumed by homework, studying, group projects and wedding planning; and that I miss my fiancé so much sometimes it hurts; I declare that I will not allow those facts to stop me from enjoying my last year before the “real world” begins. I will not let these facts hinder my ability to look forward to the future either, because although there is uncertainty, I can rest in the simple fact that I worship a God whose plans are far greater than mine. Heck, he has put me in a position to graduate from one of the best business schools in the country and marry my best friend less than a month after (hallelujah! Hurry up, June 7!). I declare that the blessings in my life are far too good, and my God is far too faithful for me to be distracted by a few negative moments (like having no air conditioning since moving into our tiny apartment). I’ve even come up with a system to help me focus on the simple moments of happiness I encounter every day – I’m going to write them down and put them in a jar (my Joy Jar) so I can re-read them and reflect on the endless ways God is working and moving in my life.

As I studied Psalm 86 yesterday, I was filled with the abundant steadfast love that is found in Jesus. I realized that no matter how stressful my final school year gets, I can find joy in the fact that the God who created the flowers, the sun, the trees, puppies, my friends and my family and every single wonderful thing loves me and has a plan for me. I am saved and because I know my time on this earth is temporary, I can live as a citizen of heaven, making the most of every single moment that God has blessed me with.

“I give thanks to you, O Lord, with my whole heart, and I will glorify your name forever. For great is your steadfast love toward me.” -Psalm 86:12-13 ESV

Life is short, God is good. I pray that we have a heart of expectancy for the plentiful blessings that this simple fact brings.

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worthy in weakness.

Worthy in weakness.

Have you ever heard someone say, “God will never give you more than you can handle,”? Well, I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but that person is so wrong!

Yes, this is a sweet and encouraging sentiment – but have you ever considered why God might allow a trial to occur in your life, when it seems like you truly can’t handle it at all? Because if that statement were true, that God would never put me through a hardship that I, myself, could not handle, then I wouldn’t need His merciful strength in the first place. 

The truth is, we all have imperfections and weaknesses. And God uses our weaknesses to ultimately show His strength in the midst of our trials. 

Reading through 1 Timothy this past week, Paul is writing to Timothy to encourage him in his ministry. In 1 Timothy 1:12-17, Paul explains to Timothy how God used his weaknesses, AND the fact that he was a sinner, ultimately for His glory. 

“But I received mercy because I acted in ignorantly in unbelief, and the grace of our Lord overflowed for me with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus” (1 Timothy 1:13-14).

The word that stands out the most to me in this verse is “because.” It’s absolutely astonishing to me that God bestows His mercy on us because we are so imperfect and need it so desperately. In the situations where we feel as though God is in fact giving us more than we can handle, it’s really that He is giving us the opportunity to seek Him and His power, because we can do far more than we can imagine with Him, and absolutely nothing apart from Him.

In Paul’s case, God changed his name from Saul when He called him to share the gospel with all people. Before knowing the Lord, Paul actually prosecuted Christians for their faith. Isn’t that incredible, that without our sins, we would be undeserving of God’s miraculous grace? And that He ultimately used Paul, despite the worst of his sins, to write nearly all of the New Testament, bring millions, if not billions of people to know Christ through his ministry and show his glory in the most inconceivable and extraordinary ways? 

God does the same with us every single day. Despite the most horrible sins of our past, God fills our souls with the hope that He can and will still use us to do His good works to glorify His name. He can use our shortcomings to show those around us His resurrection power to give us new life, so that they might believe in Him, too. When we are at our worst, it only goes to show that God is always the best. He is everything we are not and MORE. So the next time life puts you in front of a mountain you seem too weak to climb, remember that when you are weak He is strong, never failing to uphold you with His righteous right hand. There is nothing we can do to make ourselves worthy of manifesting His glory, but only by His perfect grace are we given the privilege of doing so. 

I encourage you to consider the weaknesses and sins you feel have too tight of a grip on you, and pray and meditate over how God may use them to reveal His perfect glory in your life. In His abundant mercy and love, He will use you to make something out of nothing, and make you worthy in your weakness. 

Here’s some scripture to read, memorize, meditate or pray over:

“But he said to me, “my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weakness, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” -2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV

“The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display His perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in Him for eternal life.” -1 Timothy 1:15-16 ESV

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patience before purpose.

Everyone said junior year of college would be the hardest year (they said it in high school, too, and it was even more true now than it was then), and they were right. In between group projects, exams, homework, papers, sorority commitments, working out, and trying to make time with Jesus (the number one priority), I didn’t even have time to do the one thing that my heart seems to always long for – writing! When life can seem so corrupted and interrupted by business and to-do lists, it’s easy to feel lost in the jumble, reaching to grab ahold of your life and your purpose amidst the seemingly endless stream of tasks you face. 

For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been going through the She Reads Truth study of the book of Colossians. The Colossians had big faith and big love for Jesus, but they didn’t always respond in obedience to what it was God called them to do. 

I can relate.

It’s not that I always deliberately disobey what God is calling me to do – it’s that sometimes I don’t really know what God is calling me to do. Or who God is calling me to be. 

So I began to pray that God would reveal His purpose for my life, and that I would have the courage to respond to that calling, no matter how difficult or scary it may be. I still try to remember to pray this every single day, because I still haven’t figured it out.

I’m writing this today to remind you if you’re feeling the same way, it’s okay.

I’ve learned that sometimes, God waits to reveal His purpose for our lives for a number of reasons. He wants to teach us patience, He wants us to remain steadfast in our hope that He will reveal it in His perfect timing, or He wants us to realize that maybe we’re just not ready to fulfill that purpose yet. But the funny thing is, that even though so many of us are yearning for that lightbulb-angels singing “hallelujah”-moment where our purpose is abundantly clear, we still have a calling from God to respond to in the meantime, and to carry out for the rest of our time on earth.

In the letter to the people of Colossae, Paul tells them to walk in a manner worthy of God, because He qualified them to share in His inheritance as children of God. As the saying goes, God doesn’t call the qualified – He qualifies the called. The Colossians (and you!) didn’t have to do anything to earn this heavenly inheritance – God graciously gave it to us through His Son’s sacrifice on the Cross. All we have to do is remain faithful and trust that God would reveal His purpose to us when the time is right. We walk as children of Light, we share the Gospel with those around us, we encourage one another in the name of Jesus. We act in ways that are pleasing to God so we can bear good fruit. 

Above all else, that is our true purpose. 

As someone who is about to be a senior in college that still doesn’t really know exactly what she wants to do with her life, digging into God’s Word has taught me that I’m not a failure because of that fact. So long as I shine His light through my actions, set my mind on things above, and trust that even though I don’t know my purpose yet, worrying is a waste of time because God already does. And I’ll figure it out along the way.

The enemy wants me to question my faith, to wonder why my best friend or significant other is confident in what God has called them to do when I haven’t, and to feel like God has left me hanging. But that is so far from the truth. 

When we realize our faith isn’t about us, but about the goodness of God and all the incredible blessings He’s already put in our lives, we realize that He has never let us down before, and He never will. We’re not called to question and worry about what we’re “meant” to do during our time on earth – we’re called to serve God and His people, and to be steadfast in our faith that He will lead us where He wants us to go.

If you’re in the same boat as me, finding yourself confused when it comes to your calling, I encourage you to have hope in that God will lead you exactly where you are meant to be in His perfect timing. Don’t question where God is leading you, because even when it hurts or doesn’t make sense, it’s bringing you one step closer to the purpose you so desperately seek. Take a breath and rest in the presence of God when it feels like the world is asking too much of you, and when your spirit feels like everything is moving too fast for you to grasp it. Tell God how thankful you are for the abundant blessings in your life. Ask yourself, “What if it does work out?” Because all things (good and bad) really do work together for the good of those who love Him. 

Here’s some scripture to read, memorize, meditate, or pray over:

“Walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fulling pleasing to him: bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; being strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy; giving thanks to the Father who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light.” – Colossians 1:10-12 ESV

“Set your mind on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.” – Colossians 3:2 ESV

“Let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” – Matthew 5:16 ESV 

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” – Romans 8:28 ESV

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Stuck.

For the past few weeks, I have felt stuck in my relationship with God. Yes, I still posted pretty Bible verses that I hand-lettered to Instagram to try and encourage others (and myself) in their walk with Christ, but my own felt like we were at a standstill. I attempted to read my Bible, pray sometimes, but nothing happened. I felt like I couldn’t hear God’s voice anymore.

And I got desperate.

I kept telling myself that God would never leave me or forsake me, which is completely true. I knew it was me who was ultimately just standing at His door, but not taking the opportunity to really knock on it. I knew God was always there for me, but I continued to let myself get in the way. But why?

As sinful humans, I feel like sometimes we enjoy pity, being down-in-the-dumps and feeling sorry for ourselves in a twisted kind of way. One or two bad things happen, or you make one or two (or quite a few) mistakes and it feels like every good thing that had occurred up until that point no longer matters. Or that every good thing you had ever done was no longer valid. So you wallow and wait for a change. You wait around to hopefully snap out of it, and grasp the joy and glory that deep down, you know God has for you.

Let me tell you, waiting is NOT the answer.

In my experience, it’s normal to have “dry spells” in your relationship with Christ. Cultivating a relationship with Christ is just like any other relationship in life – it requires effort, perseverance and hope. God is ALWAYS waiting to work in and through your heart, but you have to let Him in! When I was choosing to feel sorry for myself, it was clear – I was in a bad mood and irritated with myself, evidently choosing not to let God’s love fill me. I was choosing not to take action and regain the depth of my relationship with Christ.

I have a problem with guilt. Sometimes, I let my past mistakes alter the perception I have of myself, rather than reminding myself that His mercies are new each morning. But eventually, I realized that God does NOT keep a scoreboard of my wrongdoings. Thank you, Jesus! God’s grace is real, I just have to accept it for myself and exhibit that grace to others. God wants us to feel convicted about the sins we’ve committed, but His heart is not to make us feel guilty. He knows we’re not perfect, (that’s where Jesus comes in!) so we can’t try to be. When I came to this realization, I knew that I had a choice to make. I could continue feeling sorry for myself and not forgiving myself for my sins, or I could choose to dance in the joy, mercy and grace that God so lovingly grants me every single day.

I chose to knock on God’s door and enter, rather than just standing there. I chose to have joy in the hope that God has provided to me through Jesus, because He said I already won. Whether you struggle with guilt, shame, anxiety, depression, or all of the above – life can be very difficult. But when you step into the peace and love of God that transcends and surpasses all the problems life on this earth has to offer, it makes it so much easier to choose joy.

So when you are anxious, or feel guilty, I encourage you to turn to God first. Pick up your Bible and read, even when it seems pointless. So long as you persevere and pursue God’s truth, you will start to hear His voice again. Be patient, and pray. Ask Him to remind you who He says you are, not who the world says you are.

You are loved. You are adored. You are strong. You are saved. You are a child of God.

And when you put in the work to maintain your relationship with Him, and remember the glorious riches He has in place for you, you’re no longer stuck. You choose joy above all, and you’re free.

“Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.” – 1 Peter 1:8-9 ESV

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stop the stress.

As the fall semester comes to a close and finals are approaching, I’m sure you can identify one area in your life, whether it be school, relationships, or the holidays around the corner that is causing you to stress out. For me, I’m in the process of recovering from two tests last week. For those of us in school, this time of year can be rough.

While I certainly have my ups and downs throughout the semester, there have definitely been instances where I’ve handled stress better than others. And thankfully, last week was one of them! In one of the most anxiety-inducing weeks of my semester, the Holy Spirit covered me in His peace and gave me rest when He taught me one simple lesson: seek refuge and comfort in Him.

Now, I’m not trying to oversimplify this. Believe me when I say that I am notorious for over-analyzing, over-studying and over-complicating. However, within this lesson God placed on my heart, I realized three ways I can put it into practice, which serve as tools of comfort during periods of what appear to be inescapable stress.

1. Pray. This element is the most imperative of anything you’ll read in this blog post. To those of us who thrive on checklists and getting everything done at once, taking a moment to stop, reflect and pray to God can seem counterintuitive. Many of us, myself included, tell ourselves we don’t have time to pray. But prayer isn’t meant to cause us more tension, but rather relieve us of the pressures of this life. God wants us to come to Him with our concerns and worries so that He can take care of them when we aren’t strong enough to. I stumbled across this quote by Martin Luther that sums it up perfectly:

“I have so much to do that I must spend the first three hours in prayer.”

Think about that. As humans, we like to think that we are so busy that we have to “squeeze” time in with God, even something as simple as prayer. This quote really humbled me because I realized that God created me, the Heavens and the Earth, and sent Jesus to die for me so that I can have life and have it to the full. The time that He so graciously gives me in this life is not my own; rather, I am here to glorify and worship Him in the time he has given me. So, when I do feel the weight of the world resting on my shoulders, it’s only right that instead of believing I can do it all myself (which, I can’t), I humble myself before my Heavenly Father and ask Him to give me His immeasurable peace and power in order to accomplish it. Yes, studying and school and work are all very important, and certainly time-sensitive. But when we take a moment to speak with our Creator and cast our worries and cares on Him, we come out with unwavering strength and determination to tackle the aspects of life that cause us stress. I often challenge myself to pray first thing when I wake up, throughout the day, and before I take tests as well. Sometimes I forget (as we humans do), but when I do practice this, I have confidence that nothing in this world can shake.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving les your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” –Philippians 4:6-7 (ESV)

2. Take a break. There were times last week when I had been on a three-hour streak of straight studying. In the midst of trying to learn multiple weeks’ worth of material on a matter of days, I would also find myself overwhelmed by thoughts that I would not do well or meet my own expectations. In these moments, one of the most holy things you can do is rest and give yourself a break. Jesus calls us to cast our burdens on Him, because He is truly the only One that is strong enough to handle them. Relinquishing these pressures in our lives can be done not just in prayer; but in sleeping, reading, coloring, listening to music – there are endless possibilities, all of which can serve as a form of worship and be pleasing to God. For me, calligraphy is a huge stress-reliever and an artistic way for me to express my emotions. I encourage you to have me-time and discover a hobby that serves as an escape. Regardless of stress-level, we all need time to ourselves, and a healthy hobby is the perfect way to give yourself well-deserved rest.

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” -Matthew 11:28 (ESV)

3. Don’t worry. Whether you are working or in school, there is an immense amount of stress and pressure that can result in our daily lives and responsibilities. Oftentimes, the pressure leads to fear that can even be crippling. As someone who struggles with anxiety, the Lord has taught me the importance of remembering His sovereignty and power. If I have the God of the universe on my side, how could I possibly fear what this life will throw at me? The strength and power of the resurrection that is in Jesus is also inside of YOU, which is so crucial to be mindful of in the high-stress times in life. Our Heavenly Father tells us He will never leave nor forsake us, so we can’t let Satan get into our heads and convince us otherwise. God will be there to help you get that A on your test, finish your project at work and provide comfort and peace along the way – as long as you step out in faith and trust that God will fulfill His promises to you. Do your best, and let God take care of the rest – fear is only going to add even more unnecessary pressure to the seemingly endless responsibilities and stresses in your life. Through prayer and resting in His presence, the Holy Spirit will deliver you from your fears. He just wants you to seek refuge in Him and have hope in what He has already declared to be true.

“Do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” –Matthew 6:34 (ESV)

“’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.’” –Jeremiah 29:11 (ESV)

All of these methods and more provide ways to seek contentment and tranquility in the presence of God. No matter what stage of life you are in, stress is a constant struggle for all of us. Sometimes we will falter and fail, and find ourselves forgetting the promises that God has spoken to us – but He will never cease to display His relentless grace and generously provide us the hope we need to conquer all of the trials in this life. When we remember this, God will cover us in His overwhelming love and hope that will give us the confidence to face our stresses. So I encourage and challenge you to pray, rest and have faith – and you will be unstoppable.

“In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rules, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” –Romans 8:37-39 (ESV)

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take heart.

On Sunday, August 20, I fractured my foot.

I was merely walking (and texting) and trying to step down into my car from the sidewalk, when my left foot twisted and I heard a pop. Next thing I knew, I hit the ground, and my sister rushed to my aid.

Yes, you read that right.

This is probably one of the most embarrassing things that has ever happened to me. Who seriously breaks their foot texting and walking? Luckily, no one was around to see it. But I could not believe that merely tripping could result in eight weeks of recovery.

Three days later, I saw an orthopedist, who told me that I was less than two millimeters away from needing a screw surgically implanted in my foot. I have an injury common to athletes known as a Jones fracture.

I didn’t need surgery, although it’s a very serious injury. It’s my left foot – so I can still drive.

If that’s not God, I don’t know what is.

While being in a heavy boot and using only a knee scooter, crutches or hopping on one foot for transportation quite an unfortunate circumstance, I fully believe God has placed me in this situation to experience his restoration and redemption. I have learned more about myself, the people around me, and God’s love, mercy and grace in the past five weeks than I have in the past two years.

You never understand how hard it is to only have one working leg until that’s all you have. There’s never enough ADA parking, wheelchair ramps or accessible entrances.  Most of the time, you have to put your scooter in your trunk by yourself and hop on one foot back to the driver’s side door multiple times a day.  You have to make about 20 different five-point turns on your knee scooter just to make a sandwich. You don’t feel like getting out of the house or hanging out with friends because it’s just too much work. When you’re at the store or going to class, you always feel like you’re in someone’s way. Showering takes 45 minutes alone.

Instead of counting your trials as joy as the book of James tells us, you feel the joy being sucked out of you. And that’s when you can start to feel helpless. You even take it out on the ones you love.

I never thought fracturing my foot would result in me, a very headstrong person, having such a powerless attitude. I have dreams at night of getting up and walking, only to be woken up to one working foot.

In some ways I was weak. I can’t do some things without help. As someone who is extremely independent, this has made my experience that much more difficult. I found myself struggling with the fact that I need my sister to make me dinner or bring me an ice pack every now and then. I would start to feel defeated, and when my boyfriend and family gave me words of encouragement, I dismissed them because “they don’t understand.”

But when I begin to feel incapable, I turn to the Lord, who is strong in my weakness. I finally grasped that no matter how hard I might try, I do not have the strength to get through this on my own.  I must rely on the One who is. Not only that, but God graciously placed loving, supportive and compassionate people in my life, and you must show appreciation for them by letting them help you heal. You realize it’s the little things they do for you each day that make you that much stronger.

I have been reading through the Gospel of Matthew since before my injury. It’s abundant in stories of Jesus traveling all over and healing people. One story that really resonated with me was when He healed a woman who bled for twelve years and died. He came to her, and said “Take heart, daughter; your faith has made you well” (9:22). She was instantly brought to life.

Obviously, healing a broken foot is incomparable to bringing someone back from the dead. But in the past five weeks, and the three weeks to come, God has been and will be placing healing heavily on my heart. He has shown me that sometimes, we become broken so that we can be healed; whether physically, mentally or spiritually. In this merciful healing, the Lord brings us the restoration and redemption we so desperately need, and in that puts His glory on display for all to see. You never learn the power of hope and faith until it is tested.

“We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us” (Romans 5:3-5 ESV).

Jesus, you have given vision to the blind. You have helped the mute speak. You have granted the paralyzed the ability to walk. You have brought life to the dead. Soon, I will physically walk again; but until then I will walk with the light and spirit of the conqueror I know I am in You.

On Thursday, September 28, my faith has made me well. I am restored and healed with hope greater than ever. Thank you, Jesus.

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temptation.

For most of us college students, our first day of class is tomorrow. I’m about to start my junior year, and I can’t wait to see what God teaches me about His goodness and faithfulness during this school year. Attending the University of Arkansas the past two years has grown my faith in ways I couldn’t have predicted, and has brought some of the most fun, exciting, challenging and difficult moments in my life. While I’ve learned a lot about how to navigate the stresses, temptations and hardships of college life, I still learn something new every day. One of the most valuable lessons God is teaching me is how to steer clear of temptation, and fill my life with the good things that will help lead me to eternity in Heaven with Jesus.

In Matthew 4, Jesus was tempted by the devil. When He was in the wilderness after having fasted for 40 days and 40 nights, Satan asked Him to break His fast and turn stones into loaves of bread if He were truly the Son of God. Can you imagine how hungry He must have been? I can barely go three hours without eating, let alone 40 days and 40 nights. While Jesus was without sin, He was still utterly human. And in this moment, He had a choice to make: to eat, or continue to fast in worship of His Father.

He responded to the devil: “Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God” (Deuteronomy 8:3). So, He resisted the temptation to eat, as He is filled up by God’s Word.

But it wasn’t over yet. Then, the devil took him to Jerusalem to the pinnacle of the temple. He told Jesus to throw himself down, quoting Scripture: “He will command his angels concerning you” (Psalm 91:11). Yet, Jesus came back and said to Satan: “You shall not put the Lord your God to the test” (Deuteronomy 6:16). Jesus escaped temptation twice, but Satan took Him to a mountain and tempted Him a third time.

He showed Jesus all the glorious kingdoms of the world. The devil said, “All these I will give you if you will fall down and worship me” (Matthew 4:9). But Jesus had enough, exclaiming, “Be gone, Satan! For it is written: ‘You shall worship the Lord your God and him only you shall serve’” (Matthew 4:10).

Wow. Satan can take just about anything and make it appear so great and wonderful, until you realize that it is going against the Word of God. Jesus had such a strong faith that He was able to tell Satan “no” three times. Even he listened to Jesus, and left him.

I can’t speak for everyone, but one of my hardest temptations to conquer was boys my freshman year. I’ve never really considered myself to be “boy-crazy,” but being surrounded by so many boys on a huge college campus made me want a boyfriend more than anything. It was tough to see my sister with her long-distance boyfriend all giddy and smiley on the phone, knowing I didn’t have anyone. My freshman year, I had a boy in one of my classes that I thought I really liked. We eventually exchanged phone numbers, and we studied together sometimes. I would get so caught up in the game of him waiting 47 minutes to respond to my messages, asking me to hang out and then ghosting out of nowhere. I would help him with homework, and get left on read in return.

It sounds silly, but it’s the truth – and I’m sure you’ve experienced something similar. Whenever we did talk, though, I found myself growing to like him because he was funny and nice. I did a poor job of guarding my heart, and I fell into the temptation of the devil and compromised long-term happiness for short-term satisfaction.

I just wanted a quick fix to make me feel desirable, but it was only temporary.

At one point, we kissed, and I was hurt when it ended with me being alone, once again. Luckily, I learned my mistake from that relationship. I began to tell myself to be patient when it comes to boys, and trust that God has the perfect person out there waiting for me.

Now, I have my boyfriend of almost nine months who is incredibly compassionate, hardworking, kind and selfless. He is a faithful man of God and with him I have found that long-term happiness and true love I was so desperately seeking.

The moral of the story is that in college, Satan will tempt you many times, whether it be skipping class, alcohol, drugs, boys, or all of the above.

While college can be the best time of your life, it’s critical to remain focused on the goal at hand: graduating, and more importantly, eternity with Jesus. Always remember that just like how Satan tempted Jesus, he will tempt you. He will make bad things (like talking to a boy who actually doesn’t care about you) appear good, and he will make it seem as if those bad things are of God (like when Satan quoted Scripture against Jesus).

Resisting temptation is extremely difficult because of our sinful nature, as we falter and fail every single day. You’re probably thinking it was easy for Jesus to triumph over the devil’s temptation since He was without sin. The reality is, it was challenging for Jesus to avoid temptation because He was still utterly human just like you and me.

We can find so much confidence in the fact that we can overcome any of life’s trials because we have the One who defeated sin and death on our side. If we rely on Him to see us through the many temptations of life, in and out of college, it will make our short time on this earth that much easier, knowing we get to meet Him at the finish line.

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I am His.

All of my life I have been fairly independent, self-sufficient and sure of myself. I am the oldest of four sisters, so I have the natural ability to stand out (when I want), take charge and lead the pack. I tend to be hard-headed, but still ambitious in every endeavor I pursue in life. I can attribute many of these qualities to growing up in a house full of loud and exuberant girls.

In elementary school, I can remember almost always being the “mother” and “teacher” while playing make-believe games with my sisters in our unfinished basement – having this innate desire to be bigger, stronger and wiser than those around me. While our real mother did the best job of this, I felt the need to nurture and teach my sisters (trying to prove them wrong most of the time) which would often get me into trouble for being “bossy.” While it may not have always gone over well, I developed these prominent qualities, and with time, knew what I wanted to do with them. I’ve loved writing as long as I can remember, and I wanted to be a journalist or an author. And even then, I knew I would stop at nothing to get what I wanted.

I joined yearbook and newspaper in eighth grade and swore I was going to be the next Giuliana Rancic (former E! News host, current E! Fashion Police host - duh) and the best journalist in the world. I like to think I’m a good writer, and I was back then, too. I wanted to write every story and learn how to craft each one better than the last. My freshman year of high school, I took every journalism prerequisite, and to spare you the boring details, I was editor-in-chief of our award-winning yearbook by my senior year. Until that point, I thought I had it figured out: go to Mizzou, major in journalism. Write for Seventeen Magazine, maybe Teen Vogue (and eventually become editor, obviously). Not to take away from my experience on the yearbook staff, because I really did love it. But it was a LOT of work. Making sure you squeeze in every memory from the school year, while doing so precisely, intricately, and entertainingly. Catering to the reader to making sure they don’t lose interest. While I had a lot of fun, I got burnt out. Quickly. I began to realize that journalism wasn’t my dream anymore. I wanted to have passion for something again, but I also wanted to secure my future. 

I graduated from high school in May of 2015. I no longer felt at home when I visited Mizzou – so to Fayetteville, Arkansas I went. I became a Razorback (wooo pig!) and I played it safe and declared my major as Business Management. And, again, to spare you the boring details, that brings me to today. I began fervently pursuing the Lord and what He wanted for my life my freshman year of college, and I haven’t turned back since.

And while my relationship with God is the strongest it’s been my entire life (don’t get me wrong, I still have my bad days), I had begun to feel lost. I’m going to be completely transparent with you. I was no longer the little girl who knew what she wanted to be. When my boyfriend’s family asked me what my major is, then asked what I want to do, I responded with “I don’t know.” (If you asked my boyfriend, he’d tell you that’s my catch phrase.) I was so consumed with not knowing that I became utterly comfortable in it. I became complacent and content in the fact that I had no clue of anything concerning my future, and while I had faith that God would help me figure it out, I didn’t want to actively do anything to change it. I thought that one day, I’d wake up and God would just shout in my face what path I was to take. But I was very wrong.

That led to me staying up till two in the morning (more than once), crying to my boyfriend because I didn’t know who I wanted to be. Through prayer and discussion, he helped me figure it out. The reality was, I know somewhat who I want to be. I’m just scared I won’t live up to the world’s expectations – and especially, my own.

I’m not writing this to spill my guts or drone on about my life story. I’m writing this because I know that’s something all of us struggle with – identity. I know who the world wants me to be. I know part of who I want to be (a light displaying God’s love, a good girlfriend/sister/daughter/friend, a dream-chaser, a Kingdom-builder). And while I may not know all of who I want to be (especially when it comes to my future career), I find hope and joy and confidence in the fact that I do know who I am in the eyes of God. If you’re struggling with the same reality, I want to help you understand who the Lord of the Universe says you are.

God’s Word says we are:

Chosen (John 15:16)

Transformed (2 Corinthians 3:18)

Justified and redeemed (Romans 3:24)

Freed (Romans 8:2)

Loved (John 3:16)

Strong (Joshua 1:9)

Righteous (Romans 4:5)

Bold (Ephesians 3:12)

Alive (Ephesians 2:4-5)

And so much more. But the most important of all these characteristics is that we are HIS.

“Even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In lovehe predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insightmaking known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.” (Ephesians 1:4-10)

How can’t you be confident in who you are to your Heavenly Father after reading that?! That’s what matters the most.

I can tell you that I still enjoy writing, just like middle school Sydney; whether it be about life, relationships, Christ, or anything in between. I can still be hard-headed, but have become more open minded. I have maintained my passion for leadership. I’ve picked up calligraphy and I want to sell my pieces, although I mostly just do it for fun. If you asked me what my dream job was, I’d still probably say an author of some kind. Maybe not a novelist, but a professional blogger or a devotional writer. I’m still extremely ambitious, even if at the end of the day, I’m not completely sure what I want to be. While it’s taken some time, I’ve learned that not knowing is OKAY. But I can’t become complacent, and I most certainly can’t live in fear of not living up to my own expectations. Because I do know that God has a plan for me (you know, Jeremiah 29:11!) and He created me to be a strong, bold, righteous, and loving light for the world to see.

Today, I encourage you to remember who God says you are. Find your identity in Him. As long as you do that and tune out what the world has to say, He will shape you into the person He wants you to be.  

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abide.

For about the past month, I’ve been doing a study on the fruit of the Spirit. I’m sure you’ve heard of them in Galatians 5:22-23:  “But the fruit of the Spirit is

Love,

Joy,

Peace,

Patience,

Kindness,

Goodness,

Faithfulness,

Gentleness,

Self-control;

against such things there is no law.”

Wow. That’s a lot to keep up with. To try and be every single day. So that I can “keep in step with the Spirit.” Before you get overwhelmed, let me tell you that God does not expect you to have it all together and exemplify all nine of His attributes every single day. 

He knows that we are weak, broken and sinful people. That’s why in 2 Corinthians 12:9, the Lord tells us that “my power is made perfect in weakness.” 

He also knows that as prideful and boastful people who think we can do everything ourselves, we will try to earn the badges of the fruit of the Spirit by our own good deeds. But that’s not how it works. 

You can't just give the homeless man on the street $5, telling yourself, “well, I can check off showing love, kindness and goodness today.” 

You can’t just simply think that by deciding not to scream at your little sister for taking your shoes that you’re exuding peace, gentleness and self control.

Because the fruit of the Spirit is not of our worldly spirit, but of His Holy Spirit. 

If I’m continually attempting to achieve the fruit of the Spirit by my own actions, I will fall short every single time. The Lord knows that we will never be able to live up to that, which is why He sent His Son to die so that we can be forgiven for being unable to attain it. 

The only way I can attain that goodness is through His grace, not my actions. I can’t be loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle or have self-control unless I am completely still and surrendered before Him. 

“The unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit is of great worth in God’s sight.” 1 Peter 3:4-6

Silence your heart and your mind so that you may know how God wants you to live His fruit in your every day life. Through taking the time to pray, learn about Christ in Scripture and rest in His Spirit, you will truly be able to put His good fruit into practice so that you can shine His light before others. By doing this, you are showing the love of Jesus to others, praising and exalting Him in the best way you can. 

If there’s anything I’ve learned in this study, it’s that the only way I can even come close to obtaining any of the fruit of the Spirit and living it every day is through abiding in Jesus. The Greek word for abide is menō, which means I remain, I stay, I wait. Dwell in and find peace in the fact that it’s not any of your doing, but by God’s mercy, sovereignty and faithfulness, that we are able to abide in His Spirit and be more fruitful than we ever could on our own accord.

“Abide in my love.” John 15:9

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Be still.

“Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him.” Psalm 37:7 NIV

The concept of being still can be really difficult for many people, especially when society drills the idea into our minds that we must be chasing after something, whether it be a job, a degree, a relationship, money, and so many more things 24/7. When you take a good look at the world around you, you see people relentlessly pursuing the next thing that will fulfill them in some way or help them to achieve what they believe to be greatness. 

Today, I am going to tell you to stop.

Stop relying on your boyfriend to be the only one who makes you feel good about yourself.

Stop feeling discouraged or out of place when you can’t afford the newest iPhone that everyone’s talking about.

Stop thinking that the only way your parents will be proud of you is if you make a 4.0 GPA.

Stop being crippled with fear when something doesn’t go right.

Stop fervently seeking fulfillment from the things of this world that aren’t eternal.

The phrase “be still” appears in the King James Version of the Bible 7 times, in 7 different verses. 

God’s number of completion is 7. Coincidence? I think not.

I started reading Esther a few days ago. For those of you who don’t know, Esther, also known as Hadassah, was a Jewish woman who was raised by her cousin Mordecai, and eventually became the Queen of Persia. Even further in her story, she saves a whole race of people - the Jews.

I just finished chapter 3 today, which tells of one of King Xerxes’ highest officials, Haman, and his plot to destroy the Jewish race. Basically, Mordecai wouldn’t bow down to him because he was focused on worshipping God instead. So rather than just killing Mordecai, he wants to rid of all Jews. Haman then manipulated the King into issuing a decree to do just that. (Luckily, Esther comes to the rescue, but we’ll save that part for later.) 

This story is important for so many reasons, but the one in particular I’m discussing today is Mordecai’s willingness to praise the Lord, even in dangerous circumstances. While Haman was taught that his power gave him the right to do as he pleased, Mordecai knew that regardless of the circumstance, God alone is all-powerful. Mordecai was still and rested in God’s faithfulness. 

Not only is this true for Mordecai, but it’s true for you, too. You may be suffering something unimaginable, or you might just be having a bad day. Despite all of the crappy things that this world can bring us, God alone is sovereign and just. 

At the end of the day, none of those temporary things can bring us the same joy and peace that Christ does. The only way we can truly satisfy our continual thirst for things like money, material objects, a cute boyfriend, a great job, or whatever it is, is to find our worth and contentment in Jesus Christ. Because the world keeps spinning and life gets tough, but no matter what happens, God always remains. Today, I encourage you to be still and rest in that truth.

“Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10 NIV

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Content.

con·tent

kənˈtent/

adjective

1. in a state of peaceful happiness.

There have been so many times in my life when I have felt discontent. I am a sophomore in college and I still have no idea what career path I want to go on. I have to start building credit to take out student loans in my own name, not my parent’s. I have two tests next week and I am completely unaware of what’s going on in class.  I don’t even know what I want to eat for lunch today.

But since I started studying Ruth, my outlook on contentment has changed. Ruth, a young Moabite woman, seemed to have it all: a loving husband and a mother-in-law, Naomi, who cared deeply for her. However, when both of Naomi’s sons died, they became lost and confused.

“The Almighty has made my life very bitter.” (Ruth 1:20 NIV)

They were both widowed and had no one to take care of them. Then, God called Naomi to take her daughter-in-law back to Bethlehem to begin a new life. Ruth saw overwhelming faith and resilience in Naomi and was determined to follow her wherever she went. She didn’t understand where Naomi’s confidence came from, but she desired it for herself.

“Where you go I will go and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.” (Ruth 1:16 NIV)

So with that, Naomi had led Ruth straight to God through her faith in God’s plan for her. Long story short, they picked up everything and moved back to Bethlehem, where Ruth met her husband, Boaz, who provided an incredible life for the both of them. And the rest is history.

My point here is that God will have surprises for us in this life. I have always been the type of person that needs to plan everything out, but now that I have no idea what my career plan is, I get scared. There is no need for this fear. If God gave Ruth another caring, compassionate husband who loved her, even when the situation seemed utterly hopeless, who’s to say He can’t grant me the wisdom to get an A on the test I studied so hard for? If God loves me enough to send his Son to die so that I might live, how can I be discouraged and think that He won’t provide something as minuscule as a job for me?

Ruth and Naomi found contentment amidst one of the most difficult losses a person can experience. And when Paul wrote Philippians, he was imprisoned, but still felt a state of peaceful happiness. He understood that God is still God. He is sovereign and loving and just. While we all face trials in this life, there is no greater joy than knowing the Lord of the universe already has your life story written out for you.

So, even when you’re lost, scared or confused by a situation God has placed you in, remember that you can be content in knowing He can and WILL bless you, so long as you keep faith. When God brings you to it, He brings you through it.

“I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.” (Philippians 4:11 NIV)

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http://instagram.com/brittzy (by Brittney Borowski)

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