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goosewriting · 2 months ago

Note

I am a SUCKER for enemies to lovers

So hear me out, reader is part of the mantis crew as a healer and for some reason cal and them just don’t get along. at. all. And maybe like, they put their differences aside for the sake of getting the holocron first (not without some tension and snipping at each other) but after that’s over, neither of them have anything to take their mind off the other so they end up sniping at each other and getting into arguments a lot more often and eventually reader storms off after cal had said something particularly scathing and she maybe gets into trouble in some way? Like she’s not the best at fighting but then her blaster jams up and she thinks she’s done for but cal had followed her and saves her? Anyway, it all ends in a super heated kiss? Idk just a thought lol

(If you did write this, could reader be short? Like I’m 5’2” and I don’t see many fics where my height is represented? If that makes sense? And since I headcanon cal as six foot..)

Anyway sorry for the longish request! Just thought I’d drop in something lol

Have a good day/night!!

Can't Stand to be With(out) You

summary: after getting on everyone’s nerves with their bickering, Cal and reader are put in time-out to finally make up.

relationship: Cal Kestis x gn!reader

warnings: second hand embarrassment, making out

word count: 3k

A/N: to be frank, this was one of the hardest Cal fics to write. the request and idea in itself is great and i’ve been trying to come up with something since the moment you sent it in, but it’s been SO hard to find a way to convincingly portray cal like someone reader doesn't get along with because i literally love him sm i can’t imagine him ever being anything other than a sweetheart with the people he cares about 😭 so yeah i hope i did your request justice!<3 i love short!reader so please do send in some more for cal when i open reqs :’)

[all masterlists] 🪶 [star wars masterlist] 🪶 [ao3]

(english is not my first language. constructive criticism and grammar corrections are very appreciated!)

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Ever since the holocron was retrieved and destroyed, some deeper troubles seem to be coming to the surface amongst the Mantis crew. Or rather, between you and Cal specifically. Cere decided that the team should lie low for some time until comm chatter about them calms down again, so you currently find yourself on a moon somewhere in the Outer Rim.

Cal and you accompanied Greez to the local market to get provisions, and even in small things like these, you notice how much friction has bubbled up between you and the redhead.

If you’re being honest with yourself, you’re so tired of Cal’s way of going about things. The way he always goes in sabres and blasters-a-blazin’ instead of strategising a little more. That one time he literally jumped off the Mantis mid-flight on Kashyyyk? Absolutely insane.

Cal seems to think that stims or bacta will cure anything. He comes up so beat up sometimes that you’ve questioned his self-preservation instincts more than once. You give him a piece of your mind as well when he comes back to the Mantis like this, that he has to better take care of himself out there, as one day he might be so injured, he might not make it back in time for you to patch him up again.

He suggested that the solution might be to take you with him, and for a low stake reconnaissance mission he did drag you along, but you both quickly realised that that was not your strong suit. You know he probably didn’t mean to, but still, he made you feel like you were slowing him down. And you were pretty helpless against local fauna and enemies, still not completely skilled at shooting your blaster, since you had never had to use one before.

And if that didn’t make you feel pretty useless that day, then you had to swallow your pride and ask him to get some supplies from the top shelf, as you’re too short to reach. This was, unfortunately, not a rare occurrence. And while he never openly made fun of your height, this was just a reminder of yet another aspect where he was “superior” to you.

Bringing your focus back to the task at hand, you point to a basket of fruits, saying that you should get some. Meanwhile, Cal is looking at some pre-packaged food instead of fresh produce; he vouches for practicality, while you insist you should focus on nutrition. Greez rolls his eyes as you butt heads for what seems like the hundredth time today.

Merely seeing Cal’s face brings up anger in you now. Your mind trails off again as he goes on about ration bars, thinking about how insufferable he is. The way he thinks the whole weight of the galaxy resides on his shoulders; what’s up with that? He is so harsh with himself when something doesn't go as planned. And then the whole team has to deal with his sulking.

Having had enough of your antics, Greez sends you both back to camp to cool off while he takes care of the food.

“And by the time we’re back, you better be best friends!” he calls as you leave the market.

Cere is currently elsewhere with Merrin getting intel. As you’re both walking side by side in spiteful silence, Cal takes out his comlink, hitting up Cere and asking if he can join her. The gall of this guy! You shoot him an incredulous look. Cere says no, however, and in a hushed voice makes it clear that she, too, is fed up with your bickering, so you should make up already. Then she hangs up.

The whole walk back, Cal is restless and frustrated. He claims to be stuck on the moon, and he feels like they’re losing time, that he could be doing something.

You stop dead in your tracks, and he looks back at you questioningly.

“You're always going on about doing more and more. Why can’t you take a break and be happy about what you’ve already accomplished?” you blurt out, unable to hold back any more. “You’ve saved all those kids on the holocron list. In the past months, you’ve almost died so many times I’ve lost count. I understand the cause, but you’ve neglected yourself for too long. Heal and rest properly so you can still go out there to do… whatever it is you do.”

You regret your poor choice of words the moment they come out of your mouth. You didn’t mean to downplay Cal’s actions and the danger he gets himself into to save people or get intel. But at the end of the day, you don't actually know exactly what he does and how. You only see the end result in the state he comes back in.

“‘Whatever I do’?” he repeats incredulously with a scoff. “What do you think I do? I’m sorry I can’t stay inside the ship all the time playing nurse.”

Whatever intention you had of backtracking and rephrasing is thrown out the window. His words sting.

“Playing…?”

You haven't told him about the nightmares plaguing you, where you see him over and over, bleeding out, falling to his death, unable to rescue him. He dies in your arms every time.

But you’re not about to tell him that. So you storm off. Where to, doesn’t matter, you just need to get away from him.

You can hear Cal calling out to you as he tries to keep up with your hasty pace, navigating through the maze of narrow passages that make up the village. At some point, you manage to lose him after squeezing through a rather small opening in the wall, and you stop to catch your breath. Your mind is reeling, and there are so many things you want to tell him but know will get you nowhere. The team wants, needs you to make up to function properly again, and you know it. You’re aware it’s not just him but you as well who has become extremely irritable, causing the team morale to sink considerably.

Leaning back against the brick wall, you groan in frustration. Why does it always have to be you to give in, and swallow your pride and words for the sake of a moment of peace on the Mantis? It’s not fair.

As you’re mulling over this, you don’t hear the steps quickly getting closer. By the time you realise what’s happening, a bandit is standing in front of you, holding a knife in his hand. You don’t really have anything to give him, so you quickly push yourself off the wall and make a run for it. Turning around mid-run, you try to shoot at the bandit, but of course your blaster gets jammed, so you throw it at him instead. The guy easily dodges the weapon, quickly closing the distance between you two.

When he inevitably reaches you, he harshly grabs onto your arm, bringing you to a forceful stop and slamming you against the wall. There’s a blur of lights as Cal appears out of seemingly thin air, fighting off the bandit, who quickly escapes with a yelp of fear.

You shake your head at Cal’s actions, so much for “lying low”; here he is, yet again, sabre out.

“Put that thing away before someone else sees,” you reprimand him, looking around the passage, but luckily there’s no one.

Cal retracts his weapon, clipping it back to his belt, hidden under his coat. He looks around one last time to make sure the coast is clear, then turns to you with a frown, surely to scold you, but whatever he was going to say dissipates, as does his anger, his face instead morphing into worry.

”You’re bleeding,” he points out, his hand coming up to your temple. But you swat him away, hissing as you touch the wound caused by getting slammed face-first into a brick wall. You look at the blood on your fingertips accusingly, like it’s to blame for this whole situation.

You walk back to camp in silence, not without retrieving your blaster that you threw a couple streets further back. Cal follows a couple of steps behind you, and you don’t look back at him once.

When you arrive, you’re glad to see the rest of the team hasn’t come back yet. You get your things and go to the refresher to use the mirror to patch yourself up. Cal wants to help, but you swat his hand away for the second time that day. So he leaves you alone to clean your wound and apply some bacta, then you place a little gauze over it.

When you come back out, you find him sitting on his bunk, and he calls you to him, so you sit next to him, both of you surrounded by uncomfortable silence until he speaks.

”About what I said earlier–“

“Don’t,” you cut him off, shaking your head. “You’re so concerned about the entire galaxy out there that you forget the people right here with you.”

“What do you mean?” He looks at you, offended.

The sound you produce is something between a scoff and a groan of frustration, starting to turn away.

“I don’t forget about any of you!” he remarks, gently holding your shoulders to make you face him. “I couldn’t do this without you, and if anything, we’re doing this also for ourselves. Because we can, and others out there don’t have the chance to fight back.”

“Ugh!” You free yourself of his hold and stand up, pacing up and down in front of him. “You’re like, this all powerful being of legends, moving stuff with your mind, effortlessly picking your enemies off, while I'm back here, worrying about you to the point I can't sleep. All the time, but especially ever since we destroyed the holocron, you go around picking fights, going after imps without thinking of the consequences that could have for the rest of us!”

He looks at you, and you can feel your whole body shaking.

“Is that what you’re worried about?” he asks. “Nothing will happen to any of you, I’ll protect you.”

“But what if you can't!” Now you’re close to tears, sitting back down on his cot, looking up at him almost pleadingly. “What if you don’t come back?! Do you know how terrified I’ve been every time you left and I didn’t know what state you’d come back in, if at all?”

“Wha–”

This time, it’s your hands that come up to his shoulders, and you shake him back and forth lightly to emphasise your words.

“You say you’ll protect us, but who’s protecting you, Cal? I can’t go out there with you, we’ve already established that. But what if you need me? What if I can’t get to you in time? I could never forgive myself.”

“You’ve got it all wrong,” he says, taking your hands in his and giving them a reassuring squeeze. “The reason I can go out there in the first place is because I know you’re safe, and that you’ll be here when I come back.”

“That’s not sustainable at all,” you say with a huff.

“It’s worked this far, though, hasn’t it?”

There is a moment of silence as you hold each other’s gaze, and while you’ve seen his eyes a million times, for the first time you realise just how deep of a blue they hold. Were they always this beautiful?

“So all this time, you’ve been worried about me?” he asks almost shyly.

“Obviously,” you answer.

“I thought you disliked me. Some days even hated me.”

“What? No. I mean–”

He raises his brow questioningly, and as you’re trying to formulate an answer that encompasses that some days you can’t stand him but he, in fact, means so much to you, you look down at your hands still in his, and he holds onto them even tighter, as if scared that you might let go.

“I mean, I, uhm,” you stumble over your words, looking back at up him, aware of the heat spreading on your face. “We’ve been part of this crew for a while now. I guess I’ve become rather… fond of you. As a colleague, you know.”

“Colleagues, huh,” he says, and a grin spreads on his face, an adorable blush adorning his freckled cheeks. “That’s too bad, because I think I just realised I, uh, like you. A lot, actually.”

You can’t help but laugh at the timing of such a confession.

“To think that all this time we were giving each other such a hard time,” you say, shaking your head.

“Maybe it’s better that way, though.”

“How so?” you ask.

“Had I known back then, it would have been infinitely harder to leave for missions. I know it certainly will be from now on.”

“I could still join you,” you joke, and you both laugh, knowing that that’s a bad idea for a multitude of reasons.

“Absolutely not. I’m not putting you in danger,” he says, his hands momentarily letting go of yours to gingerly run up and down your arms as he looks lost in thought, cherishing this moment. Then his eyes snap back to yours as if he suddenly remembered something.

“You said earlier you're so worried that you can’t sleep?”

“Ah, well, yeah,” you say with a slight shrug, trying to brush it off. “I’ve been having some nightmares, but nothing serious.”

Cal gives you a deadpan expression.

“Yeah well, you know,” you try to come up with an explanation that holds the least amount of detail as possible. All the while, his soft caresses seem to light your whole body on fire. “You’ve come back pretty bruised at times. I was, am, scared that one day I won’t be able to patch you back up.”

“Believe it or not, I do know my limits. I wouldn't ever put myself in actual danger if I knew I was in over my head.”

“And I believe you. What I'm worried about is your ability to assess the situation.”

“Ouch,” he chuckles. “Maybe I can just see more from where I stand.”

You narrow your eyes at him.

“Do you mean through the Force, or are you actually calling me short right now?”

He grins.

“Oh, you better watch out for your kneecaps, young man, they might go missing one night!”

“Yeah? I’d like to see you try… shortie.”

“Oh, that’s it!”

You play wrestle him, and he scoots further back onto the cot, so you follow, throwing half-hearted swipes at him, until you realise that you ended up climbing on top of him.

“Ah, sorry–” you apologise, trying to lift yourself off of him, but he holds you down, bringing you closer by your hips so you’re straddling him, and he sits up with you on his lap.

“It’s not just blind arrogance, by the way,” he says, bringing his hand up to run his knuckles over your jaw. “I trust the Force and my Master’s teachings more than I trust myself. They haven't failed me yet. I'm here. I’ll be here tomorrow, and the day after. So please, the last thing I want is for you to lose sleep over me.”

“I’ll try.”

Cal properly cups your face with both his hands now, and you place yours over his, leaning into his touch. Your faces start inching closer, like a magnetic force is pulling you together.

“It might help if you’re there when I fall asleep, though,” you whisper, lips ghosting over his. “Just a hypothesis.”

“I’m sure that can be arranged.”

When he finally kisses you, it’s like all the pieces of a puzzle fall into place. Everything makes sense now; the tension between you two, which had been there from the very beginning, was and had always been attraction. Disguised as snarky comments, arguments, glares and grumbles; in the end, you’d always find yourselves together, seeking out each other’s company.

As this realisation hits you, you feel a weight being lifted from your shoulders. But there’s a different weight on you now, one that you welcome, as Cal pushes you onto your back on his cot, climbing on top of you. He kisses you with desperation, as if making up for lost time, and you pull him closer, but it’s not enough. Everything you feel, taste, and breathe is Cal, and you don’t want this moment to end. He breaks the kiss momentarily for some much-needed oxygen, and attacks your throat instead. You bring one hand to your mouth in an attempt to stop the sounds threatening to escape, but it doesn’t work, and they only spur him on. Bringing his lips back to yours, his tongue finds your own. He snakes an arm around your back, further arching into him.

Suddenly, Cal flinches in surprise and pulls back, leaning on his elbows on either side of you.

“W-what?” you ask, out of breath.

“Cere is outside,” he merely says, a violent blush going from the tip of his ears all the way down to his neck.

“How do you…?”

“She was, uh, checking in, to see if we were here,” he says, unable to look at you.

“Well, can you tell her to… wait a bit longer?” you ask, running your fingers through his copper hair. His eyes find yours again and he tilts his head to the side, a smug smile starting to spread on his lips.

“Hm… You’re cute when you’re needy,” he says.

“Shut up,” you say with no snark whatsoever, chuckling.

“Maybe we can take this somewhere else,” Cal proposes, leaving a trail of small kisses on your jaw. “There’s a pretty good spot up by the hills, it has a nice view.”

“Should we pack some dinner too?”

He takes a moment to look down at you underneath him, then smiles with hungry eyes, towering over you.

“Good idea, I’m starving.”

— — — — —

Meanwhile, outside: Cere pinching the bridge of her nose with a groan, Greez giving her a confused look, while Merrin looks strangely proud.

○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

🐥 taglist: [link to join in my pinned post!] @dybynyght, @galaxtic-writings, @kalea-bane, @soka-writes-things, @padawancat97, @riddikulus-obsessions, @optimisticprime3, @starilicious , @lovelyygirl8, @cathyket, @wildefire, @ghostkestis, @reckoning-star, @wyvernthekriger, @camiemorgan8, @ivelostmyabilitytoeven

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kajira-kreations · 11 months ago

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Hiya! Thank you @freesia-writes for tagging me! Thought I join in on the fun!

What do I love about The Bad Batch? Okay, crazy story: when I first heard about it, it was a livestream from an older Star Wars Celebration event where Dave Filoni was talking about the concept (hope some of you know what I'm talking about), I actually brushed it off and was all like, "Whatever..." (Now I wanna go back in time and smack my past self for saying that). At that point, I was all caught up with TCW (the show that FINALLY got me into Star Wars and have been a fan since I was a teen). When the series finale premiered with TBB story arc, I was all like, "Okay..." and saw each group being the Leader, Nerd, Muscle, Emo Guy w/ the 20/20 Vision posse that's common in a lot of popular media, and I brushed that off. When Disney announced that there's a spin-off/TCW sequel about them, I was still like, "Whatever..." but gave the season one premiere a watch anyway...

...How could I brushed this off?

The second Omega came into the squad's life, that's when it all changed...and the rest was history! I haven't been obsessed with this fandom ever since my Voltron days! LOL As the show progressed, I just love love LOOOOVE each character and how the end of the Clone Wars affected them and such. There are no words to describe my love for the series now! If you're an artist, writer, creator, reader, etc? I'm an artist (and a reader of TBB fanfics <3). I drew a lot of Omega when the show premiered, and when season 2 came in I draw a lot of Tech and Phee of course! I draw a lot of manga-style art and drew a lot of manga/anime-styled Star Wars fanart back in my otaku days and it was rare to see SW fanart in that style. I'm currently working on a Tech x Phee fan comic adaption of my most favorite fanfiction, "The Right Partner" by Fennecsrifle (the author kindly gave me permission to do so). I wasn't able to work on it as much last year because I was working a completely original VTuber project (which is now live on YouTube). Whenever I'm not drawing fanart, I create art inspired by my Hmong-American heritage, culture, and identity. Please give my VTuber a support by subscribing to her channel!

What you love engaging with on Tumblr? I just love love LOVE fangirling about all things Bad Batch and other fandoms I enjoy like Zelda, Metroid, Ace Attorney, Transformers, and other Star Wars media! I don't live off of Star Wars alone, btw.

Any other fun facts about yourself that might create connections with others here?

I recently got into the whole VTuber scene myself since creating my original project last year. Before that, I was already familiar with them like Kizuna AI (the original VTuber), and enjoy Hololive (I love Tokino Sora, Suisei Hoshimachi, and Ceres Fauna).

Speaking of VTubing, I planned on streaming my art and even processes of the TechPhee doujinshi possibly over on Twitch (TBA). Plus other fun stuff like handcams of me sharing stuff too! In the meantime, here are my selfies that I wanna share:

I also love Transformers (especially the animated stuff). I grew up with Beast Wars and the Unicron anime trilogy, but I brushed that off...until Transformers Prime came into my life and I got into the fandom through that show. Sometimes you'll see some Transformers fanart from me. I even have a Tumblr page for a digital passion project fanzine about one of the human characters from that show, Miko, which focuses on her life in Japan before the events of the show -> @tfp-miko-zine

I also love Nintendo games since it's my childhood! I love me some Zelda, Metroid, and Ace Attorney. I would occasionally draw fanarts of those too.

I ship TechPhee <3

Oh, and sometimes I animate too! I've been teaching myself 2D animation since 2020. But the irony was that I wasn't a big fan of doing it due to it being laborious...but I told myself that it might be handy one day. Illustrations are great, but animating that piece of art is better too.

Tech is my favorite Batcher after all that character development he got in season 2! *cries*

If I have to take the title of Most Inconsistent Imagery/Crappiest Graphic Designer on Tumblr, so be it. 😂 But there are so many new peeps I'm seeing on here, and I'd love to hear from you! So if you're interested, would you be so kind as to reblog this with some fun stuff?

What you love about The Bad Batch?

If you're an artist, writer, creator, reader, etc?

What you love engaging with on Tumblr?

Any other fun facts about yourself that might create connections with others here?

💙

#KAJiRA rambles #star wars #the bad batch #transformers #multifandom

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chadillacboseman · 4 years ago

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A Time to Rest

Pairing: Cal Kestis x GN!Reader Warnings: This is just self-indulgent fluff. Word Count: 1.1k A/N: I’ve been playing Fallen Order and swooning over this redheaded Jedi. Have some fluff.

Landing on Bogano always felt like a mini vacation; despite being pursued by the empire relentlessly, you felt as if you could breathe freely once you hit the planet’s surface, if even for just a day. You exited the Mantis and inhaled deeply, breathing in the warm, damp air, and feeling your tense muscles unclench for the first time in what felt like months. Behind you, Cere and Greez were deep in an argument over repairs to the Mantis, as was usual for them when there was a moment of peace.

You heard the excited trill of BD-1 and turned to find your jedi companion, Cal Kestis, strutting down the ramp, the ever-present droid clinging to the back of his poncho. You smiled, and Cal returned it, which made your heart swell in your chest. So rarely did he smile these days, that it felt as if you were witnessing a supernova before your very eyes. BD gave another trill and leapt from the Jedi’s shoulders to go investigate the argument between Cere and Greez.

Cal moved to stand beside you, his shoulder just barely brushing against yours, and turned to focus his eyes on your face. He looked exhausted; his normally bright green eyes seemed hollow, and his red hair fell more haphazardly than usual. You brought a hand to his cheek and he closed his eyes, sighing at the gentle touch. “Care for a walk?” you hoped maybe some distance from the ship and the memories of missions would help him relax. He nodded, and the two of you began to make your way along the grassy mesas.

To your surprise, BD-1 did not accompany you- typically the little droid and Cal were inseparable. Perhaps the Jedi had told him to stay behind, or perhaps BD thought that Cere and Greez needed a mediator for their argument. The two of you walk in silence for a while, occasionally pausing to examine the Zeffo engravings or the local fauna. It is Cal who first breaks the silence, your name on his lips barely louder than a whisper. You turn to look at him, taking in his features and trying to decode his expression, though you knew better than to attempt that.

“What is it, Cal?” you ask, moving closer to him and bringing a hand to rest on his chest. His hand clasps over yours and you feel his body shudder slightly. It is a moment before he speaks again, and you are sure not to rush him, knowing how hard it was for the Jedi to be vulnerable. “Thank you...for being here with me,” his words surprise you, as does the shakiness in his voice. “Of course, Cal, there’s nowhere I’d rather be-” he moves to cup your face in his hand, his green eyes boring into yours, “I know that’s not true,” he murmurs, his thumb ghosting across your cheek, “It’s not fair to you to be in danger like this because of me.”

You almost wanted to laugh- was he really so oblivious? You loved Cal Kestis with every fiber of your being; there was no place in the galaxy you would rather be than at his side, through every firefight and every ruin. You would follow him to the end of the universe if he asked you to- and here he was worrying that you didn’t want to be with him. “Cal,” you paused, trying to find the words, “I chose to come with you. I wanted this. I wanted to be with you.” The statement paled in comparison to how you really felt, but when you looked into the Jedi’s eyes, you knew the Force gave him all the feelings from you that you hadn’t been able to convey with words.

Another smile breaks on his face, and your heart flutters; the life is back in his eyes, and you swear you can feel happiness radiating from him, as warm as the two suns in the sky above. Cal pulls you into him, his chin resting atop your head as he holds you there, as if you are the only two people in the galaxy. You knew this journey of emotions hadn’t been easy for the Jedi- all his life he had been led to believe that love made him vulnerable, that caring for another would lead him down a darker path. It was Cere who had first suggested that maybe the old ways needed to be left in the past, and that maybe love could be the tether that made the Jedi strong.

When you break the embrace, it is to press your lips to Cal’s, feeling him sigh against them and entangle his fingers in your hair. In the past his kiss had been frenzied- quick and raw as if he thought he’d be torn away from you at any moment. But here, amid the grass and mud on Bogano, he is tender, taking his time and savoring every bit of you. When you pull away to look at him, he smiles, and his hand again finds your face. His thumb brushes your cheek gently, and you lean into the touch, savoring the gentle pull of his skin on yours.

“We should get back to the Mantis before Cere sends BD after us.” You chuckle at this, knowing the droid would be eager to interrupt your moment of intimacy. Cal’s hand finds yours and he intertwines your fingers as you both make your way back to the ship. The suns are beginning to set, and the planet is bathed in a beautiful twilight as the Mantis comes into view. “Well, look at what we have here!” Greez calls out, lifting his welding goggles from his eyes, “The lovebirds return from their ‘walk’!” A pebble lifts from the ground and strikes Greez on the side of the head, setting him off balance. “Real funny, kid!” he calls as the two of you make your way up the ramp and into the ship.

You make your way to Cal’s quarters, ready to let the first genuine night’s sleep you’ve had in weeks take over. You strip to your underclothes and lie down on the bunk as the Jedi enters behind you and follows suit. Once he is beside you in the bed, he pulls you in close against him, arms wrapped tightly around you as if you might drift away at any moment. You feel your eyes grow heavy as Cal’s breathing slows and his arms relax around you. You wiggle yourself into a comfortable position and close your eyes, praying silently that this night will be one free of the terrible nightmares that plague your companion.

As you lie there in silence, the sounds of the Bogano wind rushing against the hull of the Mantis, you whisper, “I love you, Cal.” There is silence, and you chuckle, knowing he must already be fast asleep. You are surprised when you feel him plant a kiss on the top of your head, and his sleepy voice breaks the silence, “I love you too.”

#Cal kestis #cal kestis x reader #fallen order #fanfic #star wars

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too-lit-for-fanfic · 4 years ago

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A Traitor In Our Midst

PART I OF III

PART I

PART II

PART III

Summary: Cal Kestis x ex-Galactic Empire!OC, but can be treated like an x reader, ugly secrets from her past are resurfaced. In light of the truth Cal and crew no longer feel as if they can trust the newest member to the trio. Tempers flare, sacrifices are made, and the truth finally comes out.

Warnings: It’s fucking long (sorry not sorry) and this part is mostly a set up for the next bit, but still CRUCIAL. The two first parts gets dark, like holy shit kind dark. Angst, Blood, Violence, Swearing.

“We’re coming under heavy fire! One of you get back to the ship as soon as possible, we can’t hold them off much longer!” Cere’s panicked voice wafted through the com-link, her voice scratchy and filled with static as the connection failed and reconnected.

Cal shot a glance over his shoulder, his bright eyes connecting with the much darker pair belonging to his companion, Aylin, her eyebrows knit together with barely concealed concern. The interaction was brief, broken as a trooper tackled Cal to the ground, his saber knocked flying as BD-1 shrilled in the background. The fiery haired male gasped for breath as the wind was knocked from him, the troopers heavy boot digging under his ribs forcing the little air left from his lungs. Just as the trooper raised its blaster Aylin materialised, knocking them to the ground with a harsh swing of her stun baton, their helmet splintering under the force. Cal grinned sheepishly at the woman as she handed him his saber, an angular eyebrow raised as the red head scrambled to his feet.

“You stay here until BD’s finished downloading the maps,” the pair glanced towards the little droid, whirring and buzzing as its eyes flickered. “I’ll go help the others at the ship, meet us there as soon as you can.”

Cal went to retort, his mouth opening with a disgruntled look upon his pale features. He did not like the idea of the pair separating, not at all.

“Don’t do anything stupid.” The blonde grinned, patting the slightly taller male on his shoulder as she began to head off, jogging in the general direction of the landing pad. Cal sighed as she raced away, dodging out of the troopers blaster fire with ease, she’d be the death of him one day; being on edge for another’s safety all the time couldn’t be good for his health, he muttered, he’d be having a stroke before long.

Before long Aylin had reached the landing pad, which was actually just a flat area in amongst an abundance of trees, but they couldn’t be picky. She caught her breath for a moment, surveying the scene below: Cere was huddled behind a stack of crates, exchanging blaster fire with several troopers just inside the tree line, Greez was still stranded on the ship, using his small blaster to ward off another two troopers flanking the opposite side. It didn’t look good. Deciding to pick the easier route for once, she ambled towards the two troopers penning Greez in the ship, hoping with the addition of him she’d have more of a chance against the five troopers currently engaged with Cere.

Crouching low, she shimmied her way through the thick shrubbery, uncaring for the spiky fauna that scratched at the exposed skin on her face and neck, her dark eyes trained on her closest trooper. Her knuckles turned white with the force she gripped her baton as she sprung from the brush, ramming the closest trooper with the electrically charged end to her weapon. The man yelled before he collapsed, alerting his companion of her presence. Greez yelled something to her but she barely payed him any mind, repositioning her baton just in time to deflect the oncoming blaster fire, the end of her weapon shattering upon impact. She grinned as the troops blaster faulted to recharge, discarding her broken baton to tackle him to the ground. Her teeth ground together as the man struggled, her arm locking around his neck, pinching at the unarmoured flesh. His legs kicked wildly as his hands clawed at her arm, unable to tear himself free. With a cry the trooper managed to flip the pair onto their backs, Aylin’s arm still constricting his airways as they struggled.

“Come on!” She begged, reaching for the newly charged blaster just out of reach, skimming the handle with her dirt stained fingers. Catching onto her actions the trooper also reached for the gun. Aylin panicked, knowing the troopers longer arm could reach the discarded weapon. Throwing her leg over his reaching arm she wound her legs around his torso, trapping him in place as she wriggled further, dirt and leaves meshing into her hair. “Come on.” She finally grasped the blaster, immediately pressing the cool barrel on the underside of the mans helmet and firing. He fell limp as she pushed him from her, scrambling to her feet.

She leans over, hands on her knees as she gasped for breath, blaster still grasped in her shaky hand. “You okay kid?” Geez called, hurrying down the ramp as fast as his little legs would allow. Ayling looked toward the small Latero, eyes wide. She looked feral, her short hair a mess a top her head, dirt and debris caked across her figure and blood splattered onto her jugular and jaw.

“I could’ve- could’ve used your help back there.” She gasped out, rubbing her chest to ease the pain the troopers helmet had caused as he had thrashed against her. Greez spluttered, gesturing wildly.

“I didn’t want to shoot you-!”

“Fine, fine.” She reloaded the blaster, not wanting to receive the same fate as the unfortunate troop strewn in front of her. She gazed at the unknown man for a little too long, the familiar white uniform striking uncomfortably at her heartstrings. As much as she detested herself for it, and as much as she would never admit to it, the uniforms always gave her a sense of home, of comfort, of familiarity, of belonging. The corner of her bust lip pulled down slightly, her eyes flickering over the troops number engraved onto his suit. That could of been her, and the reality of that caused something fowl to twist in her gut - she glanced back to Greez, who didn’t seem to notice her momentary destraction, if she dwelled on the subject too long she’d surely go mad. “Come on, we’ve gotta go help Cere.”

The two rounded the corner of the ship, ducking behind a nearby crate. Aylin pocked her head around the side of the small object, gnawing on her lip. There was no way they could interfere from their current position, they’d be dead before they could even start firing.

“Do you fancy causing a destraction?” She turned to the short male, said Latero staring back at her with wide eyes.

“No.”

“Go and cause a destraction.”

“You go cause a destraction.” He huffed, Aylin rolled her almond shaped eyes. “Why does it have to be me? You’re faster and I actually want to reach the age of sixty.”

“I’m the better shot.” She bragged, reaching to grab his blaster. He recoiled, hugging it to his chest. “You’re not going to need it.” She stressed, pulling it from his hesitant grasp. “But I will, this blasters not got much left to it. Better safe th-“

“-Than sorry.” Greez sighed. Beginning to head off into the foliage. “I hate it when you’re right.”

The young woman turned back to the task at hand, blaster gripped tightly in her hand as she awaited Greez’s move. She glanced down at her stolen blaster momentarily, brows furrowing further when she remembered the five troopers awaiting her. There was no room for any mistake, one wrong hit and they’d all be dead. More crucially, she’d likely be dead first. She cursed as she watched Greez amble around the perimeter, a large rock grasped in his hands. Cere, not realising the plan, finally spotted Aylin from her position, eyes widening when she saw the blaster in the girls hand. Even from such a distance Aylin could see the worry on the older woman’s face, frantically mouthing ‘don’t do it’ as the blaster fire assaulted Cere’s own crate. Forcing a shaky grin onto her lips, Aylin gave the woman a thumbs up, indicating she had no intention of listening to her, at all.

Greez yelled something incomprehensible from the brush, launching the rock at the closest troopers head. Stupidly, all five turned towards the noise, Greez legging it back into the cover of the dense woodland. Aylin sprang from her spot, blaster aimed and loaded, glaring down the barrel of the gun as if her life depended on it, because it did. Each shot had barely left the the blaster before the other was fired, all hitting their mark. The ease by which she possessed as graceful as that of a ballet dancer, muscle memory doing the work - the same routine, the same outcome. One by one each trooper went down, her aim deadly accurate and unforgiving.

The three stood alone in the clearing, Aylin with her blaster still raised, Cere finally able to emerge from her hiding spot, holstering her own weapon once again. Greez also reappeared, a large grin on his thick lips.

“Thank god you came back when you did, it took you long enough.” Cere playfully jibed, a gracious smile sent the young girls way as she approached. “Are you okay?”

“Never better.” The blonde smiled, already forgetting about her bust lip and bruising chest. “Are you good? Can’t believe there was so many on you.”

“We always get through it. Where’s Cal?”

Aylin shrugged nonchalantly, knowing the boy was more than capable. “He should be back any minute now. BD was still-“

It all happened at once, and the rapidity of it all almost gave Aylin whiplash just thinking about it. Cal had called her name as he emerged from the forrest, BD perched hazardously on his broad shoulders. She had turned with a smile upon her lips, her guard down, blaster lowering just a fraction, and that’s all it took. One final trooper had crashed through the brush, weapon trained on the woman who had killed the last of his squadron. Aylin didn’t even have time to blink as Cal screamed, the shot hitting her square in the shoulder and sending her tumbling to the ground, her head connecting with the stony earth, plunging her into the dark abyss.

She came to moments later, Cal kneeling over her as Cere and Greez ran over, shouting. The pain hit her immediately and she grimaced, Carl’s worried eyes staring right back into her own, his hands cupping either side of her face.

“You’re back.” He sighed, dropping the now empty stim as relief flooding his system. The few seconds it had taken for her to regain consciousness were agonisingly slow and Cal had been close to tears. The shining dew drops threatening to spill from the corners of his bloodshot eyes at the relief. His hands fell from her angular face as his attention turned to her wound, the blood already soaking her shirt and jacket. BD booped loudly on his shoulder, practically screeching. “Thank Kriff it didn’t hit your chest.”

He gently tugged at her leather jacket, his fingers sliding across the material and coating in the fresh crimson blood. He barely noticed. Aylin lurched as the material brushed against her wound. A low groan catching in the back of her throat as her head fell back, suddenly feeling nauseatingly dizzy.

“Sorry. Sorry.” Cal murmured, brows furrowing as he tried to see the extent of the damage. Immediately noticing her deteriorsting state he propped her up, crouching next to her with a firm grip around her waist and her uninjured arm slung over his shoulders, grasping her hand in his bloody one. “We’ve got to get you in the ship.”

“Are you alright?” Cere skidded into view, Greez hot on her trail. Aylin gazed up at her languidly, already beginning to feel the haze of blood-loss.

“She’s in shock and she needs medical attention. A stim won’t fix this.” With the help of Cere Aylin finally stood properly, unstable on shaky legs, the pair guiding her towards the entrance to the ship as Greez scuttled inside, clearing a space on the sofa.

“I don’t feel great.” Aylin groaned, the pounding of her skull from where she had collided with the rocks below causing her to trip and stumble. “I think I’m con-concu-“ she couldn’t remember the word. Cal sat her down on the plush orange sofa as Cere left to collect some medical supplies.

“We’ve got to get this off.” Cal began tugging her jacket off, pulling the sleeve gently over her wounded shoulder. Aylin grimaced again, hands balling into fists as she shrugged the tattered jacket off. “You know,” he mumbled, draping the jacket over the holographic table. “I think this is the first time I’ve seen you without this on.”

“Don’t get used to it.” She joked, smile twisting into a grimace when her shoulder knocked against the backrest as she readjusted the brace on her lower arm, blood smearing onto the metal. “I already miss it.” Cal laughed at her comment as his fingers fluttered over the scorched flesh of her shoulder, his hand resting delicately on her bicep to keep her steady. Aylin had been travelling with the company for about a year now, and even though it had taken a while for them to trust each other in the current climate, Cal couldn’t even remember what life had been like until she had stumbled into it, quite literally. He could feel his heart begin to race at the mere though of what could of happened if the troops aim had just slightly moved to the left. His throat tightened at the thought, the alternative wasn’t worth dwelling on. Cal was drawn back from his thoughts by Cere, who sat down opposite the pair, a bundle of medical supplies in her arms.

“Look at me.” Cere commanded, a small flashlight in hand. Both turned towards her, Cal with a look of curiosity, Aylin with a half conscious glance.

“Cere what-“ the older woman grabbed the blondes chin with a firm grip, forcing her head forward as she shone the small light into her amber eyes. Aylin jumped back, wincing, her hands coming up to grab at either side of her head.

“Fuck Cere I’ve already got a migraine, no need t-“

“You’ve got a concussion.” She quips, rolling her eyes. Cal hides a laugh into his elbow as Aylin glares at the woman, fingers still roughly massaging her scalp.

“Cere is this the time? The kids got a hole in her shoulder.” Greez meanders into the living quarters, desperately trying to avoid gazing at the mangled mess of Aylins shoulder.

“Concussions can be deadly. I can fix that shoulder no problem.” Without warning Cere sticks a syringe into Aylins left bicep, the uninjured one, and injects a purple liquid into her system. Cal actually saw the difference, the scowl of pain instantly lifting from her face and her shoulders slacking at the release of tension.

“Better?” Cal grinned, thumb absentmindedly massaging her upper arm.

“Much better.” BD shrilled loudly from Cal’s shoulder, hopping up and down excitedly. She smiled softy at the droid, reaching out to run her fingers along its antenna. “Thanks buddy.”

“Cal can you come and sit over here? I need you to hold her arm still.” Cere shuffled over to allow Cal to crouch in front of the pair, antiseptic-drenched cloth in each hand. Cere turned towards Aylin, who had paled in colour considerably upon noticing the rags in her hands. “This is going to hurt, you’re going to have to stay still.”

“We don’t have any painkillers?” Aylin questioned, her eyes widening a fraction. At her lack of response Aylin purses her lips. Cal frowned as his grip tightened against the junction between her neck and shoulder, his other grasping just above her elbow. Greez immediately excused himself from the room, speed walking back to the cockpit. Cal’s lips pressed into a thin line as he glanced down at the wound, fresh blood seeping from the singed flesh. Her whole arm drenched in the crimson substance. Hopefully it just looked worse than it actually is.

“It’ll be over before you know it.” He offered in comfort, lying between his teeth, giving her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. BD booped despondently.

“Right.” She sighs, “Just get it over with.”

Without warning Cere presses both rags on the entrance and exit wounds, digging deep to be rid of all infection. Aylin, unprepared, screeches and almost leaps from her chair, if not for Cal’s hands pinning her in place. She’d had plenty of blaster wounds before and no matter how many times she went through the process, it always stung like a bitch. Her head slammed against the head rest as her foot stomped onto the floor, anything to distract her from the fiery inferno engulfing her shoulder. She clamps her mouth shut in an attempt to regain some control, the scream desperate for release reverberating about her chest and sticking in her throat. Cal’s eyes never leave her face, his own body just as rigid as hers, watching as her features twist and contort. Cere pulls back, dragging the drenched cloth in a meek attempt to try and clean up the bloody mess. Aylin sighs in relief, body falling limp.

“Not so bad, was it?” Cal whispers cheekily, removing his hand from her shoulder to pat her thigh gently, his other hand remaining just above her forearm.

She gazes back at him, trying to appear unamused though she found his comment endearing. “I’m so glad you’re here Cal, it’s always a pleasure-” She stutters as Cere begins applying the healing ointment, her arm jerking involuntarily. Cal’s hand slips to rest against the brace on her lower arm and before he can retract it a memory hits him in full force.

He’s in a market, at a vendors stall with an assortment of accessories laid out on a plush purple cloth. He can’t seem to make out where he is, but a bright sun hangs over head and a soft breeze whips sand into the air. The market is busy, full of all sorts of creatures speaking differing dialects and in the midst of it all the familiar blonde approaches, but he can tell something is different about Aylin and he frowns at the uncomfortable feeling in his gut. What powerful memory could she have of simply buying an arm brace?

He steps up next to her as she exchanges cash with the small merchant, plucking the familiar leather binding from the table. As soon as she turns away from the small creature she tugs the thin cotton material of her shirt up, exposing her forearm for the briefest moment before securing the brace in place.

All colour drains from Cal’s face as he watches her flex her fingers, a content smile tugging at her chapped lips. It had only been for the briefest of moments but he had seen it. He had seen the small ink black tattoo etched onto her tanning skin. He had seen who she really was; TX-5579.

Cal lurches away from her, falling onto his elbows along the ships floor. Both women stare down at him incredulously as he breaths heavily. BD-1 beeps as he hops over, concern evident in the little boops he released. Cal pays him no mind, his eyes transfixed on the woman before him, on the stormtrooper before him. He felt like throwing up.

“Cal are you-” Aylin stops in her tracks as Cal scrambles to his feet, his eyes never leaving the leather binding on her forearm. She knew Cal had some strange abilities with the use of the Force, and she paled as she realised what he might have seen. “Cal, no-”

“Cere get away from her.” His voice is both panicked and stern, both hurt and enraged. He felt like his chest was being ripped open, that he couldn't breathe. The dark haired woman glances up from her work on Aylin’s shoulder, unamused.

“Cal, what are you-”

“I saw.” He stammers, pointing a finger accusingly at the young woman. “I saw you, I saw-”

“Cal, please, it’s not-” She tries as Cere backs away, going to stand alongside the distraught redhead. Greez emerges from the cockpit, alerted by the commotion.

“You’re one of them.” He turns to Cere. “She’s a stormtrooper.”

The air inside the ship froze, the only sound the whirring of the hull and a string of beeps from BD. No one moved and the atmosphere was so full of tension it could be sliced with a knife.

“Cal,” she tries, raising from her seat. “please, I-”

“Take it off.” He all but bellows, gesturing wildly to her leather brace. “Take it off and prove me wrong.” She freezes, there was nothing for her to do. This was it.

“I can’t-”

“Aylin-” Cere interrupts, her eyes begging her for it to not be true. Aylin struggled to meet her gaze.

“Why can’t you?” Cal steps forward, his voice uncharacteristically cold. His brows furrowed as she took a step back, still cradling her injured arm, the brace pressed against her chest. “Why, can’t, you?”

“Because what you saw is true!” She snapped, finally pulling the binding from her lower arm and dropping the heavy material onto the holographic table. The bold lettering stood out from her pale skin like a bruise, TX-5579 permanently branding her as a token of the Galactic Empire.

Greez mutters an almost inaudible “kid” at the revelation and Aylin could swear she visibly heard her heart shatter along with his.

Aylin’s mouth hung open as she tried to formulate a sentence, her mind still half preoccupied with the throbbing pain emanating from her shoulder. “I-” she tried, glancing at each of her companions in turn. Greez looked as if he had just been slapped in the face by a particularly disgusting specimen, Cere’s arms were crossed tightly across her chest, her eyes ablaze with the fury of a thousand suns. Finally, her sights landed on Cal, and she almost winced at the expression painted across his features. He looked completely and utterly betrayed, his brows furrowed together and his lips pulled into a thin line. His arms were tense at his sides, she clenched her jaw upon realising his hand rested against his saber, ready. “I’m not a stormtrooper, I-”

“You were.”

“I was never a stormtrooper.”

“If you weren’t a trooper, what were you?” Cere interrupts, pushing Cal back who had strode closer and closer to the blonde. “What did you do?”

“I-” Aylin stammered, she couldn’t tell them, she couldn’t. If this was their reaction to her being a trooper, how on earth would they react when they found out who she really was? Another wave of nausea hit her and she collapsed back onto the couch, elbow propped against the table. “I-”

“Dammnit Aylin answer the goddamn question.” Greez spoke up from beside Cal, the whole situation putting him in a bad mood. She panicked, her eyes constantly searching for a way out, for a way to just disappear.

“It’s non of your fucking business.” She bit back, her hands clenching into fists. “I’m not who I was, I defected. I-”

“You didn't tell us. You didn't tell me.” Cal was furious, his hand clenching and unclenching around his saber. “And you’re still lying. You’ve been with us for over a year and we still don’t know anything about you.”

“Stop with the bullshit Kestis.” Her outburst shocked everyone in the room, including herself. Throwing caution to the wind she continued on, she was tired, she was in pain and she’s had enough. “I’ve never given any of you a reason not to trust me. I’ve constantly put my life on the line for you all, time and time again. Yeah, fine, you don't know shit about my past but you know me, you know how much I hate the ocean, how much I love flying, how I fucking like my tea- you know me, not my past, me. If I wanted you dead, I would have done so a long time ago. I defected and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life, and you lot are not going to give me shit for doing the right thing.”

The room enveloped in silence once again, the tension growing thicker with each passing moment. Carl’s eyes bore into her own and Aylin fought the urge to let her eyes wander. She had done nothing wrong, she had no reason to feel the way she was feeling; the fowl something clawing at her chest and twisting her stomach, so many things she wanted to say that clogged her throat. Their eyes locked as Cal took another step forward, ignoring Ceres hand against his shoulder. The icy blue contrasted against her earthly hazel; fire and ice, the sun and moon, water and earth, they were incompatible, Cal was only now beginning to realise. He was the first to break the intense stare. His voice a fragile whisper, far more hesitant than seconds prior.

“Is your name even Aylin?”

“Yes,” she stressed, free hand absentmindedly wrapping around her right forearm, hiding the branding from view. “They don’t take names from sup-“ She immediately cut herself off, eyes closing as she realised her mistake.

“You were a superior officer-“ Cal couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“What is your last name?” Cere questions from behind Cal, tone accusatory, leaning her shoulder against some shelving. Aylin’s fiery eyes snap towards the woman, flickering from conflicted to purely distraught. After a tense moment, the blondes features finally caught up with her emotions, settling on absolutely enraged.

“Don’t you fucking dare, Cere.” Instead of shouting, as the four others had expected, her voice was eerily monotone, an icy edge under toning every word. Cal only felt further sickened when he realised this was most likely an attribute she had learnt from her time with the Empire. “You don’t get to judge me for this, they do,” she motioned harshly to BD, Cal and Greez, who shared a confused glance with one another. “but you can go fuck yourself before you try to play the innocent role with me. I know what you did, I know all about Trilla.”

“How do you-“ Cere had visibly paled at the revelation. Cal, Greez and BD’s focus flitted from one woman to the other, BD’s little head spinning so fast he began to whirr, his circuit fans trying to cool his joints down. Cal was by far the palest of them all, his stomach churning as the reality of things came crashing down. He had trusted these people, he had finally found a home, and now, that home was crumbling through no fault of his own, the pillars of lies at its foundation destroyed with each fatal truth surfaced.

Trust only in the Force. His masters final words echoed back to him, he worked his tense jaw at the memory. Why couldn’t he just listen for once?

Greez was completely and utterly lost, he really didn’t understand the crooks of the situation, and with how everyone around him was acting, he didn’t think he wanted to. He glanced towards Cal, and upon seeing the dazed look in his eyes, reached up to place a comforting hand against his shoulder.

“It doesn’t matter how I know, but I do, and if I’m going to be held accountable for my past, so are you.”

“Cere what is she on about?”

“Not now Cal.” She snapped back, eyes never leaving the dark blondes from across the room.

“No, I think he deserves to know.” Aylin interrupted the exchange, finally gathering enough strength to stand, hip propped against the table. “Cere told you her padawan didn’t make it, right?” Cal nodded stifly, gaze flickering to Cere. “Well that’s not entirely true. You see, after Order 66 Cere was taken in for questioning and then requisitioning, as were a majority of Jedi Masters. Unlike the majority of Jedi Masters, Cere still lives to tell the tale. Do you ever wonder how? Why her, of all masters, survived?”

Cere’s fists clenched as Aylin took a step forward, her full attention on Cal.

“She didn’t die so her padawan could live. She sacrificed her padawan so that she” the blonde glared pointedly. “could live. Cere escaped and left Trilla behind, and now she’s the Second Sister.”

“You have no idea what it was like-“ the dichotomy of both the plea for understanding aimed at Cal, combined with the seething venom aimed towards Alylins accusations created an unusual tone, the woman’s dark eyes shifting with emotion as they landed on each separate individual in the room. Cere’s tone was something Cal had never witnessed before, on any living creature, but for Aylin it was as familiar as the brightened tone to a child’s laugh, or the sullen croak of those laden with grief. She had seen this instance time and time again, traitor upon traitor, prisoner upon prisoner, begging for understanding yet grounded in conviction.

“For you personally, no I don’t. But I know exactly what it entails. So many masters before and after you didn’t break under the presssure, most barely splintered. And yet you’re going to try and persuade me - him -“ she gestured to Cal, gathering her discarded jacket in her arms. “that you’re circumstances were significantly different. Own up to your mistakes Cere. I don’t pretend to be something I’m not, you do.”

The room plunged into another bought of sickening silence, the tension thick enough that it began to suffocate the tall redhead pressing himself against the wall, desperate to just get away. It was too much, the yelling, the arguing, the hatred and the anger seeping into him through the force from those around him. Two outcomes lay before him, and with solemnity he realised which path was inevitable, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t try his damnest to try and salvage what he could from the fiery inferno before him.

“As much as you may hate to admit it, none of us are perfect. Not me, not you,” Aylin pointed to Cal and Greez. She turns to Cere. “and certainly not you.” Spinning on her heel she practically marches to her sleeping quarters, her clenched fists hidden beneath the jacket she gripped to her chest.

Cal scrambled after her retreating figure, his blood pounding in his ears as the panic began to consume him; if this wasn’t resolved, this could be it. Somehow he managed to get in front of her, gripping both of her shoulders “We need to talk about this.”

“There’s nothing more to talk about.”

“No, there is. We can fix this, everyone just needs to calm down-“

Aylin felt nauseated at the hope theat lingered in the depths of Carl’s crystalline pools that bore into her. The swirling blue now redrimmed with the stresses of the day. As much as she stood by what she had said to Cere, she would sooner die than recount every last word, she knew, deep down, Cere also spoke the truth. She couldn’t be trusted, not after all the monstrous things she had done. It was foolish to believe other wise. She was foolish to think she ever had a chance. “21.” Bursts from her lips before she could prevent it, her small lips pressing into a thin line as Cal’s grip on her shoulders tightened and his brows furrowed. In some sick way, she was thankful for the pain seeping from her shoulder as his grip tightened; it grounded her, and inadvertently, even if Cal didn’t realise what he was doing, it was payback. Payback for the pain she was about to inflict.

“What?” His voice was airy, preparing for whatever blow he was about to hit full force.

“That’s the number of Jedi I helped the Empire capture. 21.” His hands immediately retracted, as if the contact burnt the very flesh from his palms. Aylin ignored the horror in his eyes, burying her own regret with the monotonous stare she had mastered. She didn’t give him a chance to leave before she continued, he deserved to know. “Atleast 10 were younglings, padawans, whatever you call them. They all died, I gave the orders.” He looked pale, too pale, a thin sheen of sweat covered every inch of exposed skin she could see. His features acted completely on their own; there was no more restraint, no more hiding - complete and utter horror, anguish and fury swirled with the depths of his pale yet drakened features, she could practically sense the disgust that rolled off of him in waves.

She knew this image would forever be burned into her mind, alongside all the other horrors she had faced, and she knew this would be the image to haunt her beyond the grave.

Regardless, she continued; she had dug this hole, and she wasn’t finished yet, she wanted to dig until the rays of the overhanging sun failed to reach her, until she was cast into the dark abyss and forgotten, along with the horrors she had committed. “I was a superior officer, I was awarded one of the highest positions in the Galactic Empire, I answered directly to Lord Vader himself.” She sidestepped the young man, heading to her dorm. He didn’t turn to watch her, but he could still hear every ragged breath that parted her lips. “It was a game for me Cal, and I was winning, and I lived for it.”

Cal usually had a hard time reading her emotions through the force, she was always disconnected, in a sense, but now she was an open book, each emotion crashing into him like the most ferocious tsunami; the pride that had gripped her with every fallen Jedi; the thrill of the chase; the glee at another puzzle to solve and destroy.

“But that’s not who I am anymore, Cal.”

He felt the conflict she had hidden for so long; the anguish once she realised the consequences of her actions; the regret; the terrror; the disgust; the pain; the loathing that had gripped every fibre of her being, that now threatened to suffocate them both.

She took one final breath as she stepped into the boundaries of her room, turning to face Cal with an indescribable look plastered upon her features.

“I’m not who I was, but there’s no changing who I used to be.”

And then the door slid shut.

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capricornus-rex · 5 years ago

Text

A Legacy Begun (5)

gif not mine. found and saved in pinterest

Chapter 5: The Child | Cal Kestis x Reader

Summary: After a long time of running and fighting, you and Cal decided to finally settle down after all these years to raise a family. However, it was never a life of peace whilst the shadow of the Empire looms over your heads.

Other prompt/s in play: Anon 1′s prompt, Anon 2‘s baby prompt + their follow-up prompt & fic idea

A/N: Don’t worry, no one died of sadness after giving birth.

Also posted in AO3

Tags: Scruffy! Cal Kestis, Daddy! Cal Kestis, Adult! Cal Kestis, Jedi Family, Jedi Offspring, Force-Sensitive Offspring, Settling Down, Rebel Alliance

Chapters: 1 – 2 – 3 | Previous: Part 4 | Next: Part 6 | Masterlist

5 of ?

The months flew by, it only felt like yesterday when you told the news and now you’re currently in the ninth month. Any day now, the baby would be due. But you haven’t felt the signs yet.

The feeling of not holding a lightsaber and seeing action for a while was perhaps the biggest adjustment you’ve ever made; recalling the years where you’ve kept yourself low from the Imperials’ radar and having to limit the times you held your saber, this was far different than that.

To pass the time, you and Cal often strolled together just to keep yourself active. The Mantis continued its travels from time to time, but it would always find itself home in Cerinda and would occasionally return to Bogano for old time’s sake. The two of you stopped by the stream that branched out of the lake, something about that part of the forest became like a magnet to the both of you. Even in your expectant state, you were still the same sprightly girl who would dip her toes into the cold water at any given chance.

“I’ve been thinking,” you began. Beaming brightly and excitedly as you spoke, “I want to have our baby in this one planet that my master and I used to go to for a campaign.”

“Oh?” Cal propped his cheek against his fist, dreamily gazing at you while you pluck flowers by the shoreline and set them floating into the gentle current.

“The planet, Ilaro,” you craned your head to him. “It’s a neutral planet by the Outer Rim, but it’s very peaceful there. No Imperials, no fighting,”

He heard you sigh as you daydream about the planet in your mind. He kept smiling as he listened.

“If only you’ve seen it, Cal—oceans clear and bright blue like the sky that they almost conjoin, the city that Master and I went to was so extravagant yet quaint, much like Reema here but a bit bigger,” you trail off, and then smiled as the last, finishing thought entered your mind and turned to your husband. “And oh, I know the perfect place for us: by the hillside north of the city. There’s another town there, it’s small but I think it’ll do for us,”

He hummed in reply, enamored by your idea but mostly at your radiance. You couldn’t stay mad at him for only half-listening. You’re endeared by his droopy, dreamy eyes and the smile that still stood out even through his stubble that he personally kept to a certain thinness of his liking.

“What is it?” you giggled.

“You’re just so beautiful,” he cooed. “I just can’t help but stare even while you talk, I’m sorry.”

You caress his scruffy jaw, he willingly inches to you as he comes in for a kiss. You secretly chuckled when his stubble tickled you and you liked it when he did.

“I can’t stay mad, darling,”

That afternoon, you tended to the plants in the terrarium, shearing the weeds and other overgrowth that crowded the soil bed. It sooner became half a flower garden and a half a medicinal herb garden, you and Merrin shared sides of the terrarium respectively; Greez was cooking up some lunch while Cere continued her favorite pastime of splicing and hacking Imperial communications, but also found out about how to trace long-range frequencies as far as two to three parsecs.

“Have you ever thought if they’re a boy or a girl, [y/n]?”

“I have, but my mind changes every now and then—one day I’ll think it’s a boy, and then the next it’s a girl,” you chuckled. “Cal and I have been debating the same thing.”

“You’re at your ninth month, anyway. I’m sure it’ll come soon,”

“Yes, soon,” you trailed off echoing the Nightsister’s words.

Later, Cal came back with game that he had hunted in the forest’s inner meadows. One of Cerinda’s fauna that you’ve found a taste for was the Chorcap—a medium-sized, horned quadrupedal animal, it was slightly shorter than a Nerf in height and less hairy too, but it was stocky in build, making it prized for their meat. Merchants in Reema would buy for the horns, butchers would get portioned cuts, and Cal would haggle with those butchers for the portions.

“I’m back,” Cal chirped as he entered the ship. “Got some extra Chorcap on the road.”

“Oh finally! I thought this stew would never be done if it weren’t for you,” Greez grunted.

“Relax, Greez, here—the seasonings you asked for,”

Cal tossed a pouch to Greez to which the captain expertly caught with his bottom right arm and continued to stir the pot. He greeted you with a kiss on the cheek as you tended the little indoor garden and seated himself by the dining table.

“That smells good!” your husband exclaimed.

“Without these spices, my stew would be as bland as unfermented Merenzane Gold!”

From time to time, you’d conceal your expressions whenever your belly contracted. You’ve pretty much anticipated the baby’s due, but it was the pain that you tried to hide—not wanting to disturb everyone at your expense.

Minutes later, Greez called everybody for lunch, you helped in setting the table and serving out the helpings for each plate. The aroma of the stew wafted around the Mantis, making all the stomachs rumble, and come running towards the table. Lunch became more animated as conversations and topics volleyed here and there. You turned to BD-1 perched over the rim of the table between the lounge.

“Say, BD, do you still have the scan of the Binog?”

“What for?”

“Oh, you’ll see, hon,” you ended it with a smile.

After lunch and helping with the dishes, you retreated to the bedroom with BD-1 perched over your shoulder. You seated yourself by the workbench, producing spools of thread, buttons, filler cotton, and fabrics of different colors—all coming from the business district in Reema. You produced a holodisk and held it close to the droid

“Can you transfer the Binog’s hologram scan here, BD?”

“Wooo!” the little droid whirred out its splicer and connected itself to the holodisk’s port. Seconds later, the hologram of the great creature of Bogano flickered above the holodisk’s projector.

“Thank you, BD,” you rewarded the droid with head pats before starting with your work.

You drew patterns for each part of the animal and then sheared them piece by piece. Holding them together with pins, you started sewing the main body first—leaving an opening for the stuffing later—and then moved on to the legs and tail. Your slender fingers gracefully twisted, curled, and threaded with the stitches as you went on—pushing the needle and then pulling the thread—until it was starting to take shape. Glancing at the projection every once in a while to check if you’re getting the likeness correctly.

“Booo!”

“That’s right, BD, I’m making the Binog—though a smaller version, for the small one,” you cooed.

When the limbs and tail have joined the body and head, the next step was to sew in the fins that lined its spine all the way to the tail and its ears. You had the patterned fabrics at the ready, you just needed to stitch them. Cal walked in to the bedroom, finding you sitting back relaxed while sewing together a toy Binog.

“That’s actually pretty cute,” he beamed.

“Thank you, but it’s not finished yet,”

The finishing touches were the button eyes. A pair of solid black buttons were secured in an X-like stitch on its head. Two tiny white triangles were sewn along the mouth for its fangs that peeked out even with the actual creature’s mouth closed. Finally, BD-1 helped you stuff the toy with the cotton since his little claws could fit the openings you left for each body part.

“Thanks for your help, BD,” you sealed the filler openings and held it in your hand. “There we go!”

“That’s adorable,” your husband commented.

Even if it was never your intention to worry everybody—your husband, especially—you just couldn’t control the instance where your knees buckle and your muscles felt like tightening with a great force. As you struggled to stand up, everybody in the ship was alarmed by your cry of pain. All of a sudden, the swirling in your stomach started to tense up.

“The baby’s coming��!” you struggled to calmly breathe.

“Cere! Merrin!” Cal cried, scooping you up from your seat at the workbench and carefully settling you down on the bed.

“Whoa, whoa, what’s happening!?” Greez was infected with the same panic and alarm as the two ladies. The captain definitely heard your cries, he just didn’t think the baby was coming now.

Your ankles jerked as your toes curled tightly, your hand gripped the sheets as you tried to fight off the contraction pains. Cal ignored the hard grip that’s crumpling his sleeve as you broke down sobbing in pain.

“I know a place!” Cere exclaimed. “Captain, set a course to Polis Massa! Grid coordinates K-20, NOW!”

“It’s two parsecs away via jump to hyperspace!” Greez argued.

“Captain, just do it!” the woman snapped back.

“You’re gonna be okay, [y/n], do you hear me?” Cal’s voice cracked while squeezing back your free hand.

“[y/n], breathe,” Merrin calmly chanted, it became her mantra to you as the minutes went on.

The jump to lightspeed felt like an eternity as you battled the excruciating pain. Your body tossed and turned, finding a position where the cramping hurt less. Your legs thrashed, your vision blackened around the edges as you struggled to breathe in a slow pace—it only lessened the cramping to an extent but you don’t know for how long you could hold it.

Cere came barging in the bedroom.

“We’re near our destination. How is she holding up?”

“She’s trying to breathe calmly, I strongly object in using my magick on her,” the Nightsister reported.

“My head is burning!”

Cal pressed the back of his hand against your forehead, “She’s having a fever! How much farther until we reach Polis Massa?”

Before Cere could reply, the feedback of Greez’s microphone crackled through the speakers.

“Hold on, folks! It’s gonna be a bumpy ride!” the Lateron announced.

Cere sprang back to the cockpit, swerving and catching her balance as the ship rumbled. The turbulence didn’t help much, but you kept holding onto Cal’s hand.

“Cere, you didn’t tell me that we’re running into an asteroid field!”

“Because Polis Massa is on the asteroid field!”

“And this is a medical station we’re talking about!”

Greez steered closer to the largest asteroid until he found a cluster of silver infrastructures sticking out on the largest rock in the field. Cere had no further qualms about that, she turned and tapped the buttons and knobs on her communication station in the ship to send the urgent transmission.

“This is Jedi Cere Junda, we are in need of urgent medical assistance! A crew member has gone into labor and is about to give birth, please!”

“Transmission verified, you are allowed to dock. We’ll have a ward and medical droids ready for her,”

The medical droids stationed there were on full alert, a couple of the wardens came out of the building with a gurney prepared for you as they anticipated your arrival. The ship maneuvered and hovered carefully by the landing pad.

“We’re here,” Cal whispered to you, hoping to console you.

“Where are we?” you murmured.

“Polis Massa,” he scooped you up from the bed, carried you all the way out of the Mantis and then laying you down on the gurney waiting for you.

The female wardens briskly pushed your gurney towards the medical bay and then to the available ward that was ready for you. The human nurses cooed and whispered to you in comforting, melodic voices; coaxing you and telling you everything down to the littlest detail.

“We’re going to carry you to the next bed, alright?”

“Okay…” you replied, your eyes were too heavy to direct your vision to whichever nurse was speaking to you.

The nurses traded diagnoses with one another and then relayed them to the medical droids, reflecting your vital signs onto their computers and holographs.

“Vitals are fine, no remarkable findings,”

“Blood pressure is stable,”

The nurses helped you lift up your knees as a midwife droid hovered slowly towards you. The entire crew watched through the glass wall of your room, they all leaned against the opposite wall but it was your husband who eagerly stayed behind the glass.

“Is she going to be alright?” he asked the one nurse who exited your room.

“Yes, it’s good that you’ve brought her here on such short notice,”

“We were only two parsecs away from here,” Cere added.

The nurse had allowed Cal to enter the ward—for only one non-patient was permitted to accompany the patient—he sat by your side, close to your head. He stroked your hair as you take deep breaths before pushing.

Cal watched the red fill your cheeks as you tried to push, following the pace of the midwife droid that’s coaxing you. He ignored your screeching cries, he wiped away the tears that rolled away from your eyes as you breathed through clenched teeth, preparing for the next.

An infant cry filled the room, Cal’s head instantly turned to the end of the bed where the midwife droid held your newborn—he watched the droid clean the infant on the spot and swaddle it in a soft, white sheet. He stood up and held the tiniest human being he’s ever seen in his entire life. A tinge of orange strands adorned the little one’s head.

“It’s a girl,” he gasped.

He approached you with your daughter in his arms, he held her close to you so you may look at her crumpled, crying little face.

“Cassidy,” you whispered.

Cal heard you utter the name. You traded glances and he smiled. A teardrop glimmered at the edge of his eye.

“Cassidy.” He echoed. The baby’s tiny hand hooked around his finger and he could’ve sworn he felt his heart burst out of his ribs, “My little Cassidy.”

He held his baby daughter right in front of him. Dark, round, shining eyes blinked back at him as Cassidy’s stubby arms squirmed, lightly hitting his cheeks and jaw with smooth, soft hands.

“She has your eyes,” Cal choked.

“She has your hair,” you manage a chuckle.

“You did great, darling,” he sat down, level to you and planted a kiss on your forehead while the Mantis crew watched the little family have their greatest moment yet.

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capricornus-rex · 5 years ago

Text

The Flicker of Rebellion (1)

Requested by: @calkesttiss | Prompt:

Ooo what about Cal and reader going undercover and having to wear inquisitor or trooper uniforms

Cal Kestis x Reader

Next: Part 2 | Masterlist

1 of ?

A peacefulness washes over the temple hideout. It’s a normal day in Yavin IV.

Pilots and mechanics spend their break together in the hangar, bantering about dogfights and subjects of engineering. Medics bond with their patients as they receive stories before joining this rebellion whilst tending to their wounds.

Meanwhile, the forest was teeming with hidden gems of fauna—the cawing of the unseen bird amongst the branches, the rustle of the leaves as an apex predator prowls through the vegetation, and the rippling of the water as fish swim through the current—but in the midst of this lush, serene wonder, it was also the perfect place for two certain Jedi to ease their minds.

“Remember to turn in your heel when you do that stance,”

“Good block!”

“Okay, now try to block or evade this one!”

You and Cal exchange affirmations while sparring. It has become your joint pastime while everyone else was busy back in the base; the coolness of the trees and the chirping of the birds were an ideal ambience. The less distractions, the better either of you could work. In a few days’ time in staying in Yavin IV, the two of you already had your personal training course. Sparring was just part of the regimen.

“Ooh, good one!” Cal commented and then pushes you away from your interlock of blades.

“Thanks!”

The birds and tree-dwelling creatures have made a show out of your sparring. Peeking through the thick foliage and hiding behind the wide trunks, they watch curiously at these two strange creatures dancing around with buzzing rods of light.

The sparring was cut short when an alarm blared, it was coming from the base; it had startled away you audience in the tress back into their thickets and nests.

“Could that be the alarm Cere was telling us about?” you asked Cal while keeping your eyes in the general direction of the base.

“Most likely,”

Both of you turn to look at one another. An idea lit up the bulb in your head and your lips curled to a smirk.

“Race ya for it!”

Without waiting for Cal’s reaction, you booked it out of the woods and into the path leading straight back out the base. Cal eventually caught up to you until you were neck-and-neck. The rush flowed around your bloodstreams, the fresh air invigorated your lungs, and the wind blowing in your face made you feel free as a bird. The pair of you pop out of the bushes—startling some of the rebels who were lounging close to its shade—and continued your race from there.

The alarm didn’t stop blaring until for another seven minutes, even when most of the committee has already arrived in the room. You watch the members of the committee pour into the room as they come in, you weren’t expecting to know them but it helps to know who you’re fighting with.

The facilitator of the meeting was Captain Pardell, he took the stand and welcomed everyone first and foremost. He didn’t dwell in the niceties, he grabs the audience by the collar and cuts to the purpose of the meeting.

“As you were all made aware of: this meeting revolves around the subject of the Empire’s next step is. Senator Bail Organa will present his gathered data from the Senate Building all the way from Coruscant first; for those of you who don’t know, Senator Organa represents the planet Alderaan—he is also double-jobbing between us, the Rebellion, while serving his term in the Senate. He also has the most dangerous position among all of us.”

Captain Pardell stepped away from the front and gave the floor to Senator Organa. He thanked the captain’s introduction and spiel, like the captain, he went straight to the point.

“From my time in gathering data, I had the opportunity to join most Senate meetings regarding almost any kind of subject. The one I am presenting now is about the operations that the Empire has begun on Ilum. Like most, I’ve heard of it from our allies—Captain Pardell’s team of spies, Cal Kestis and [y/n]—and then confirmed it further upon my meeting days ago.”

He inserted a data card into the holotable’s data port. The image of the planet llum appears at the center of the table. Noticeable breakage on the planet’s surface and the massive crack along the equator disturbed the audience. Murmurs buzzed about on the benches, heads turn to one another as they comment and bombard questions in hushed whispers. Captain Pardell quieted the crowd with a single raise of the hand, Senator Organa continued.

“This is Ilum in its current state. The Empire has amassed an indefinite load of kyber crystals. The count is unknown, although they’re stored in heavy-duty transport crates—such containers are able to carry a load ranging from 50 to 85 tons. It is highly likely that they are able to hit that 50 or 85-ton mark with the crystals they’ve harvested.”

More murmurs filled the room, you and Cal watch the unhinged committee members in the room turn to one another and whisper their comments.

“They’re killing the planet!” one of the committee members burst while remaining seated.

“What are they going to do with that amount of kyber?!” another faceless voice followed.

Moments later, more and more questions from the crowd were starting to sound like jeers. The both of you had eyes shifting left and right, following each committee member standing up from their bench in an impulse just to voice out their thoughts.

“Enough!” Bail Organa bellowed, and with that the crowd behaved. “As of now, the Office of the Senate was ambiguous as to what they plan to do with this tremendous amount of kyber. This is where our directive comes in.”

Bail introduces Admiral Luthus, a Mon Calamari, like the former speakers the admiral followed the same pattern. He replaces Bail’s data card with his own, as he spoke, projections popped out one after the other.

“Our data specialists managed to take hold a handful of encryption codes from Imperial ships, these encryptions have been programmed into chips such as these,” an image of a sample data chip appeared from the holotable’s projectors.

“Our engineers have retrofitted selected ships so that the pilots can pass through the Imperial blockade since their scanners will register their own code in our ships. Save one Imperial shuttle that we’ve salvaged, repaired, and reprogrammed.”

Another projection pops out, but it was the said Imperial shuttle that the fighters have salvaged from who-knows-where. Admiral Luthus continued.

“Captain Pardell has gathered a small team of spies who will board these ships and infiltrate the Imperial base. He will fill you in on the details. Captain?”

“Once through the blockade, we will land in the planet of Cheth. It is a temperate, tropical planet located in the Scarif system. Reconnaissance tells us that the Imperial has an established base in the planet,”

Captain Pardell flashes a projection of the base’s blueprint and zooms in on certain areas as he explains.

“In this base, there is an archives vault where they store copies of their plans. Security will be tight there, all necessary precautions are exercised there; but we have a trick up our sleeve. Cal Kestis and [y/n] will gain access to the archives vault. While they do their part, my men and I will create a diversion to keep troopers away from the two so they can worry less with close contact and more in retrieving the data.”

The meeting was adjourned, the committee dispersed—some remained inside conversing with today’s speakers, while the others stepped out of the room including you and Cal.

“This is a big mission,” you thought out loud to Cal.

“Yeah. Even when nobody’s telling us, I can already feel their dependence on us on my shoulders,”

“Hey,” you gently tap him by the chest and smile. “Share the load. I got your back.”

The weight that Cal had put on himself somewhat lightened, your comforting words and beaming smile was all the reassurance he needed.

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