#cellbit was trying not to crack up so much

[osarquivosmagnus]

I'm very very late on qsmp and catching up now so yet again here I am talking about something that happened a month ago. But. I'm HEARTBROKEN over this whole cellbit vs forever arc and how cellbit is trying to get into the federation like it is actually giving me anxiety but. While they were talking in a room to pretend that they were alright to get richarlyson back from quackity, forever said he found a book cucorucho wrote to cellbit and said "you really trust him??" and it was a binary code. Cellbit went VERY serious and translated the code... it said, in portuguese, "you are a fucking jerk" and I'm shitting tears from how much I'm laughing rn omfg they are so unseriousss they are in the middle of a hidden CUSTODY BATTLE OVER AN EGG and can't not crack jokes at each other for 5 minutes

[etoilesbienne]

hii i wasnt sure who to send this to but qsmp's been coming up on my dash for the better part of a year and ive finally cracked. do you have any recommendations for a total beginner? like is there a playlist i can watch to catch up or can i just start watching wherever? do you have any particular streamer recommendations? love the yuri grind + i appreciate any help you can give^___^

OKIE DOKE SO: first of all the official qsmp recaps i would say are your best friend. this is relatively short.

HONESTLY i think people should just jump in cold turkey and pick a streamer they seem somewhat entertained by and watch their most recent vod. or skip around in it. or watch clip comps

HOWEVER in terms of trying to catch up on All The Lore of a guy you should maybe look at the most recent qsmp member additions (tubbo willyrex nihachu rivers_gg ironmouse carreraaa bagi german germandia lenay polispol tinakitten) and try to look at their most recent story stuff. i think quite literally none of them knew the lore of the server excluding tina meeting leonarda before joining. so their additions are new blank slates to start from!!

qsmp has 4 language groups though (spanish english french and brazilian portuguese) and for the most part the most a lot of lore ends up really intertwined between the members of each language group so if you look into one of them you end up picking up a lot on the other members as well

ANYWAY personally i would recommend etoiles if you like more relaxed/quite streams (& winners povs. Lol) because My Streamer etc. otherwise i also really recommend looking into Slimecicle since he streams very little and has a vod archive and he ends up really involved in a lot of qsmp intense lore moments (but not All of them). his streams also end up shorter (love bbh but i cant in good conscious recommend someone start there. 8 hour streams for 4 months is... a Lot. but i recommend checking in on bbh streams whenever he's live because his ass is always up to Something. Same to foolish if you prefer builder povs. cellbit is also good if you like more intense theory guys like that.) if you want my recommendations for the new group to start with though i recommend tina or tubbo or bagi. all three of them are little crackerjacks and have a lot going on in a very short amount of time that i find fun to watch.

also don't worry if you don't Know every single thing thats happened i can barely keep track of some earlier events because So much has happened on the server since it's started. same to literally every other qsmp fan like everyone here likes explaining about their cubito and rambling because its mcytblr we have autism here. if someone makes fun of you for not knowing every single thing theyre a douche remember the server is for fun and a lot of the series is comedy based in the first place (though still heavy on lore). just try to find a streamer who makes you laugh to watch

if anyone else wants to add on feel free to o/

[anonymous-dentist]

POV: Loboier

-

Moon!

His body hurts, but He is used to it by now.

He whines his way out of His House, shakes His fur out, stretches, and cries. He cries a lot. (But not loudly, because His Bobby is doing Human Work inside, and He doesn’t want to disturb him.)

Craning His neck back, he says hello to the Moon(!) with a howl.

“Salut, Loboier!” the Moon says back. “Bonne nuit!”

His tail wags. But His body hurts, so He lays down in the grass and closes His eyes. If He pretends hard enough, he can pretend that He is in the Woods with his Pack.

The breeze ruffles His fur. Maybe it’s actually His Spreen saying hi, but without his knife this time.

He growls at the thought. His Spreen… how evil!!

His eyes snap open as the Big House’s door opens.

AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! YESYESYESYESYESYESYES!!!!!!!!!!!

His Jaiden doesn’t even get a chance to say hello before she has Him on top of her licking her face and saying hello.

“Hey!” she smiles. She pets between His ears, juuuust right.

‘Hi!’ He says, barking loudly so she can hear him. ‘I love you!!’

His Jaiden is his favorite Jaiden. She built His House and she buys His Bones and she plays Ball with Him. She gives the BEST belly rubs!!

He bites her forearm gently. There! Wolf Jaiden!

But his Jaiden just laughs and says, “Nice try, but I’m already taken.”

Pain! Heartbreak!! Agony!!!

(Jaiden is a Jaiden. Not human, but Jaiden. So she can’t be a Wolf, but He still tries every Moon, anyway.)

Dejected, He lets His Jaiden down the stairs and into the yard. She goes to get a Ball, which is fine. It’s whatever. It’s fine.

His body hurts.

With a whine, He settles on His stomach and rests His head on His paws. He closes His eyes. Maybe His Spreen should’ve just finished the job. Letting Him go might have been crueler than letting Him die.

The door to the Big House opens again. He smells who comes out, and His tail wags a little in response- thump-thumping against the grass. But He doesn’t get up. He Hurts.

A cold, calloused hand settles in the fur on His back.

“Is he okay?” His Cellbit asks His Jaiden.

“Yeah, I think so,” she answers. “Sometimes this happens. It’s… complicated.”

His Cellbit hums in response. Grass crinkles as His Cellbit settles into it. He pets Him softly- so, so softly.

He cracks an eye open and looks up at His Cellbit.

Wow, He thinks. He’s beautiful.

The Moon casts His Cellbit’s hair silver. His Cellbit’s eyes almost seem to glow in the dark. Shadows make him look almost like a statue.

He shuffles in the grass until His head is resting on His Cellbit’s lap. His Cellbit’s other hand is also on his lap; He kisses it and wishes he could do that when he’s Human, too.

Quietly, He says, ‘I love you.’

He asks, ‘Do you love me?’

He says, ‘Because I love you. I love you a lot. CellbitCellbitCellboCellbit.’

His Cellbit laughs quietly and says, “I don’t speak wolf, guapito.”

That’s Him! His Cellbit’s Guapito!!

Suddenly much happier, He rolls onto His back and shows His belly to His Cellbit. And His Cellbit is sooooo smart! He starts rubbing His belly, and he’s soooooo cute!!

Smiling, He declares to the world, ‘I love My Cellbit!!’

The world disagrees, because the world doesn’t like His Cellbit, and because His Cellbit doesn’t like the world. But He doesn’t need the world’s approval. So long as He and His Cellbit like each other, that’s all He needs.

And one day when He turns His Cellbit into Wolf Cellbit, He’ll be able to tell His Cellbit EVERYTHING!!

But, for now, He settles for some more kisses and a smile. (He’s sure that His Cellbit understands, anyway.)

[odusseus-xvi]

Hello helloooo friend! Hi! I just wanted to say that I'll be going around and asking people about QSMP characters to avoid mischaracterization of said characters (in analysis, fics, and just overall fan interpretations). So if you're cool with it, can I ask you about the French streamers?

Like, can you tell me the mischaracterization you often see regarding their characters and how they actually are? I mean, ANY facts about them would be very very cool to know! I love all of them and I would really like to know more about them since I can't really watch everyone, ya kno?

Yes I would love to :D ! But also, keep in mind, I'm not immune to a bit of mischaracterization (that's how you write that right ?), sometimes I probably do a little bit, though I try my best not to. I have to admit, I don't see a lot, or just little things, and mostly from the english side of the community, cause over here with the french we are a really small part of the overall fandom, so I don't have a lot of interactions, AND it's our first (ever) smp like that (semi rp etc...), we never had that over here in France, it's a new thing both for us and the ccs, so we are getting our footing. But here we go I do have some things I can say : (wrote a fricking novel holy)

q!Baghera Jones : I see a lot of people characterize her as this hyper competent investigator that knows everything etc... In a way she is, she is a good investigator, and is always eager to solve the mysteries of the island ; What people miss most of the time is that she is also (it's not mutually exclusive) a Goofball : She sings randomly, she walks on mines and jumps off buildings willingly for the lols, some people say she witholds information, most of the time she actually just Forgor. Something that people do get most of the time is that she genuinely is really empathetic : She loves Walter Bob, two days ago she talked about how Cucurucho may be manipulated, she is worried about Quackity, about Cellbit, Foolish, Jaiden etc... And outside of petty rivalry (mostly with Forever, BBH, Etoiles, and a bit Cellbit) she is not a vengeful person at all. She is very understanding. Oh and almost forgot : She is surprisingly insightful ; She guessed what was happening to Cellbit as one of the firsts, she immediatly figured Gegg out the first day she met Slime, ElQuackity is VERY obviously another person than Quackity at first glance etc...

q!Etoiles : There was for some time a bit of mischaracterization in the way people saw him as a bloodthirsty killing machine, though it is fading steadily as we speak ; He is a really nice person that lifts up others, gift them things whenever he can, cares about the eggs, and is always reactive when it comes to saving or helping others. Also, he is a badass in the eyes of everyone (ccs and fandom) but people have a way to write that in fics that doesn't really match him : They write a badass and dark character that is mostly silent and cool ; Etoiles is NOT that (he is badass yes but not much the rest), he SAYS he is that, that he is "dark, and broody, and mysterious", but the guy is always cracking jokes, about others, about himself, he is very self-aware of his problems (social and health related) and likes to joke about it because "it puts smiles on the faces of people" (his way of cheering people up most of the time : "You are not useless, you put smiles on my and the people's faces, and that wonderful"). The moments that CAN be a bit dark is when he is asking for a fight ; most of the time it's goofy, but then there is moments like the dinner party when the codes revealed themselves, where he will be saying while everyone panics "Yeah... Yeah.. FINALLY ! FINALLY !!" and you realise he is not to be trifled with. He aslo tends to blame himself when something wrong happens ; to him, HE is the one that misplayed, that made a mistake.

q!Aypierre : Some people could see him as a relatively chill dude ; he talks calmly, never screams and very rarely raises his voice, but he is NOT chill : He is the most gremlin of the french, his favorite past-time in all the smps he's been in is pranking and breaking the servers : Two days ago in his 24 hour stream, he broke in the federation base three times, exploded a bunch of stuff in there, tortured Foolish alongside BBH, summoned lightning to make Foosh and BBH believe Gegg is still alive in front of his infinite Gegg generator, rickrolled Cucurucho etc... He is a every ingenuous guy with ways to build factories of everything. Most people, out of the french, would fear Etoiles because he is always begging for a fight, and fought and won against the code several times, but he is a nice guy, who they probably SHOULD fear, is Aypierre, this guy can be EVIL at times ; He loves contracts and deals, and using those against the others. He is not all evil though. He does care about Pomme, the french, and is willing to help others when they need him, though he likes to make exchanges.

q!Antoine Daniel : Antoine is probably the hardest to write or get when you are not used to him. He has such a way of speaking and a weird twisted humor that to someone not french, and not watching his streams regularly, it's REAL hard to get him right. He is an apreciator of dark humor and cynicism ; Joking about Bobby in front of Pomme is an example, though he is starting to be more compassionate about the eggs than he was at the beginning of his journey on the smp. Probably because of one of my posts and some others, a lot of people see him as incredibly paranoïd, and for a time he was, though he said himself (both in and out of character) that it was starting to get better because people came talked to him about it, there IS still remains though. What's interesting is that he can be both paranoïd, AND incredibly insightful : His takes are either the rambling of a madman, or scarily on point. Though he is rarely willing to help others (both because of his next to level 0 skills in minecraft and general air of "I don't care"), he is always on alarm and willing to help when it comes to the eggs, multiple times he ironically is one of the most reactive ones when it comes to realise there is danger or a problem for the eggs ; Though he is relatively self-centered, he is very compassionate and attentive of the eggs, with Pomme potentially being the person he trusts most. (everytime he acts aloof and cynical on his stream, to then immediatly worry about Pomme's well-being warms my heart.)

q!Kamet0 : AHAHAHAHAH ahAHaHhah, ahahah... ahah.. ah. oh. (he left for cigarretes)

(HOLY SHIT I WROTE A NOVEL. Sorry, didn't excpect to have that much to say. But here you go, hope that helps.)

[starryybugs]

Someone's been following Cellbit for the past fifteen minutes. Their first mistake is being so obvious that they're following him. Their second is following him down the street to Casualonas. And their third is not hiding when Cellbit's usual stalker exits the building.

He knows Melissa well enough that he's not surprised when her arm wraps his shoulders and her nails scratch lightly at his scalp. It feels nice, even if she does laugh at him for leaning into it.

"Cellbit," she purrs teasingly, moving her arm off his shoulders and looking him up and down with an appreciative smile. "Hola."

"Melissa," he smiles back, watching as she looks around before her gaze settles on something across the street.

"You're being followed," her tone is light, but the look in her eyes is anything but.

Cellbit just nods. There's not much to say about it, and he knows not to try and talk her out of whatever plan she's making in her head. Maybe, if it were a few months ago, he'd try to convince her. But it's not, and he knows her, and he knows whoever got sent after him tonight isn't going to survive. But still...

"Make it quick, por favor?" he asks, trying to sound more bothered than he actually is. "It's getting late and I'm cold."

He normally wouldn't try and play into her instincts like this but the cold isn't a lie, and he'd really rather go home than wait through it for Melissa to get done playing with her prey. Plus, he knows she's aware of what he's doing, and either way, he can see how her pupils dilate just a bit and she smiles at his request.

"Of course, querido," she agrees, planting a kiss on his cheek and grinning. "They won't even know what hit them, I promise."

And then she's gone, across the street before Cellbit can even blink. He follows after a few seconds, just in time to watch her slam one of the Federation's hivemind workers into the wall of an alleyway with a satisfying crack.

He leans up against the wall, watching as she growls and digs her nails into their neck, probably just to draw at least a little blood before she finishes them off.

He thinks that maybe he shouldn't be so fascinated by the scene in front of him, it's probably a little morally fucked to be interested in watching his boyfriend's cousin murder someone for him.

Briefly, he wonders what Roier would think about all of this. But that train of thought is interrupted by Melissa snapping the worker's neck and dropping them to the ground.

She tucks a piece of her hair behind her ear, walking over to him with a smile, "Dinner? My treat."

Cellbit glances at the body for a second. Dinner sounds nice, actually. So does getting out of the cold. He nods and she wraps a hand around his wrist, rambling about her day at work and leaving the body for someone else to find as she drags him off.

[isa-ghost]

OMG i would love to hear more qphil headcannons!

SET 5 LETS GOOOOO

Previous Sets:

Set 1

Set 2

Set 3

Set 4

When he's alone he gives so many less fucks. Anytime he passes a Federation camera or building or whatever he flips it off. Sometimes he'll stop to do it, do a funky mocking jig out of spite. If Fit has Fuck The Catfish (FTC) then Phil has FTF. Fuck the Feds

Besides the fact that he's sentimental about stupid shit, he also hasn't deconstructed the shitty dirt shack yet because he treats it as rent lowering gunshots. That's his wall. Bitch.

He's a teeny tiny bit sad everyone who lived IN the wall is sorta gone for one reason or another. It's a bit lonely. And eerie, considering a lot of the time they lived in there was before the worst of what's happened to everyone happened. The insides of the walls feel like a fucked up time capsule now...

We've seen this in canon but he LOVES to wander. Wanderlust his beloved. Find cool shit, collect cool shit, get cool pictures. It's just nothing but Ws. ... He feels a lot of deja vu doing it. He'd be able to place it if he could just fly...

Ever since that taste of flight in Purgatory, he's been aching so much more for it again. His stomach fills with dread at the thought of saving Tubbo's life costing him his wings. He'd make the decision he did again & 100x over, but flying is so core to who he is. He can't fathom being grounded for the rest of eternity.

If it weren't for the constant danger he feels like he's in, he'd LOVE to just lay down on his stomach on Chayanne's old house's roof & just sun his wings. Mmmmmm warmmmm

He'll never admit it to Lullah, but sometimes he switches up what he eats between his avocado toast phases so he never gets sick of it. She thinks he just infinitely enjoys the stuff.

He's convinced the Baker is a paid [Federation employee? Cucurucho 3?] actor that can't, no matter what, break their stoic smile. Phil spends SO much time when he has no other responsibilities trying to get them to crack. He flips them off, he makes faces, he threatens them, he rambles off the wildest most random shit. He did the DK prank. He dances in front of them. Nothing. But one day he'll get them.

Just like cc!Phil, he loathes a lot of stereotypical British stuff, like tea. It's so funny. Fit & Tubbo especially like pushing his buttons about it, his food rants are the best.

When he heard someone on the island made up a rumor that Eggza is legit because Phil taste-tested a cookie out of curiosity, he took that and RAN. Yeah. He's egg sometimes. Who's his parent you ask? Well that's a secret (it's Rose).

The moment Fit told him he has a thing for Pac, Phil instantly launched into wingman mode (pun intended). No more,,,, Hitting The Gym Together. Fit wants more than a fwb, Phil is SO here for it

Cellbit & Baghera take priority over everything. But GOD is he not ready for the flashbacks when he gets to Egg Island to save them. He didn't know Etoiles left that scar on his back...

In very dad fashion, his sneezes and yawns are fucking atrocious. Unnecessarily loud.

The islanders closest to him + the kids are starting to think he's got some kinda sleep disorder. He sleeps for an awful long time sometimes... (when his hc streams get long :) )

This idiot sleeps in the worst places I bet his back cracks and pops like fucking bubble wrap (same tho)

[mossy123302]

I feel like...we have skipped over the whole prison arc-

Because when I saw it. I was instantly smacked by nostalgia of Cops and Robbers, and... No one, as far I'm aware, made a whole au about it-

Like-

Prisoner Philza & Guard Missa.

Or better yet, a criminal Missa who is disguised AS a guard, and is trying to break Roier and his boyfriend Cellbit out of prison. However, Cellbit said he refused to leave behind his father figure, aka Philza whose the most well known criminal for his entire crimes against the Federation.

Now Missa is sweating bullets, because he didn't sign up to do a whole jail break. He was confident before, because he planned ahead but now he's gotta save a famous well known guy, or else Cellbit will refuse to go and that means Roier won't leave either. He has to add more months to this whole jail break.

So Missa bit back his fears, and hesitantly agreed that he will find a way to help Philza break out. He's never seen this infamous man, and now he was about to once he finally rose through the ranks where he was trusted enough by the prison guards to bring meals to Philza.

They kept Philza much more isolated from people, to ensure, that he wouldn't come up with any schemes or ideas. The corridor was more dim, barely lit up...and it was making Missa regret every decision possible. He should have just left and never look back, but curse his heart. He couldn't leave Roier behind, and if Cellbit is familia. Then so be it—

With shaky hands, Missa unlocked the door to Philza's cell and slowly entered inside. He was aware that he wasn't supposed to enter, in fact, there was a food slot for a reason. But Missa is literally trying to get the guy out, so... He definitely has to make up some lies to tell the guards on why he was inside the cell.

Missa immediately froze when he heard slight shuffling coming from the dim cell room. He could barely make out a silhouette that was rising up from the bed, and faintly...he could see large black wings flutter and spread out, which Missa assume, may be Philza's wings stretching out. Missa swallowed his fear down his throat, and carefully he set down the tray of food on the ground, making an very obvious clatter noise which immediately there was a loud crack which made Missa quietly wince.

Missa slowly looked up, and immediately almost tripped backwards when he saw blue eyes stare at him, almost as if Philza was trying to read his soul. He nervously grinned at the infamous crow father and awkwardly waved.

"..Hola, es...tu...you're...you're Philza, si?" Missa quietly asked. Philza's eyes slightly narrowed, contemplating answering but considering this fool of a guard was inside his cell and might...die, or get fired immediately for entering his cell. Philza knew that was a strict rule, no guards were allowed in his cell unless it was for trial related stuff.

"...Whose asking" Philza finally said.

"...Cellbit..." Missa quietly replied. "B..Bolas? He said...to use that word? I..No sé, I'm...just here to break you out. Please...I wasted enough time here.."

Oh

Oh.

Missa is breaking him out. He was in this place for a reason, and Cellbit sent him.

Well, Philza can adjust to this. It was good to finally have something new, an actual plan forming in his head. He was going to finally escape from this place, save the others, hell burn this place down while he's at it.

Philza hummed thoughtfully. "..What's your name"

"...Missa"

"Well, Missa, I think you already know my name, but it's Philza. Honored to be working with you, for now until my escape"

"....Yes"

"You also really shouldn't be in here, mate"

Missa pinched the bridge of his nose, letting out a tired sigh. He ...he was still trying to come up with a lie for that, but hell, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. "Just...knock me out"

Yes, Missa does eventually get Philza out once he understood how to get rid of those bracelets that prisoner's have. The bracelets were like shock collars basically, so it'll hurt a lot and signal guards that a prisoner was escaping...

Philza happily burns the place down, while Baghera, Cellbit, Slime, Foolish, Jaiden and Carre quietly chant "Bolas" behind him.

Missa is just staring at the burning building, already making his will and retirement letter. But... unfortunately he won't get far since he already caught the Crow Father's attention and his heart.

[cosmic-d1ce]

FML spiderbit wedding?? crazy

"Do you think Forever and Phil will get married, gatinho?" Roier asks, watching Forever hand the bouquet to his partner with a bright smile.

Cellbit glances at the couple. He realises then that his fi- husband didn't see what he saw. Roier couldn't see Forever and Phil the way he did. He didn't know.

"I don't think so." He says, taking his eyes away from the two and looking into his wine glass.

"Really? They've been together longer than we have." Roier laughs. "I don't know why they're not already married, honestly."

Cellbit swallows. He shouldn't say anything. Forever trusted him not to say anything. "Phil... doesn't want to get married." He settles on that instead. True, of course, but not the whole story. Not the story he wanted to tell.

"Cellbit?" Concern laces his husband's voice and Cellbit can't help but crack. He clenches his jaw unconsciously as he watches his own face in the wine. "You have something to tell me? I can tell, you know." Roier laughs a little to raise Cellbit's spirits.

"I can't tell you here." Later. He would tell him later. When Forever wasn't hardly out of earshot.

As much as he'd like to, he can't keep this from Roier. He doesn't want to find out how his perception of him would change if he did. Maybe if he comes clean now, Roier won't resent him for letting this happen to someone. Maybe.

"Where can you tell me?"

"Later. Remind me when Forever and Phil can't hear us." Cellbit feels a soft hand on his shoulder, a comforting touch that he always longed for. He smiles to himself and looks away from his reflection.

"So... gatinho, you have something to tell me?" Roier asks when they get a moment alone.

Cellbit feels a cold rush of dread fall onto his back as his husband speaks. "Uh... Well, yes, j-just give me a second-" He stutters as his nerves get the best of him. He can see Forever, with Phil, of course. He's holding onto his arm, as instructed. Cellbit dully recalls the time Forever said he'd keep him on a leash if he could. Keeps him where he's meant to be.

How could he explain this? How could he tell his husband what Forever has done? How can he tell him what he let Forever do? Can he? Should he just bail? Lie? Run away and never return?

"Cellbit?"

He jumps, knocked out of his daze. "Yes, yes, I'm sorry, it's just... Pretty serious, I'm not sure how to explain it."

Roier hums, listening intently.

Cellbit sighs. "Forever and Phil- they're not- it's- You know how Philza just disappeared one day?"

Roier nods.

"He didn't want to. Forever and Quackity... kidnapped him. They took him away and locked him up. They've done awful things to him guapito, I hardly realised until you- I could never do such things to you, I- Forever- He- I-" His voice breaks and forces him to stop.

Roier watches him for a moment, trying his best to keep his composure. He tries to speak but stops before words can leave his thoat. He swallows.

"You never thought to tell Missa? Or his children? His friends?" He says finally, forcing the words past his lips.

"I can't- God knows what Forever would do to them. He killed Tallulah so Phil would listen to him, he'd do it again, I know it-"

Roier looks at Forever and Phil and as much as he'd like to believe Cellbit was trying to play a bad joke on him, he can see it. He sees Phil's hand tremble as he holds his glass. He sees faded bruises where his clothes aren't covering. He sees Forever give him a warning look when he speaks.

Cellbit speaks again, running a hand through his hair nervously. "I wanted to tell you. I just- I didn't know how, I didn't know what you'd think or do and I was so worried-"

"It's okay." Roier looks down, taking his eyes away from Forever and Phil. "I just... I don't know how to..." He hesitates. "It's a lot."

"I know, I'm sorry, I should have waited to tell you-"

"No, gatinho. Thank you." Roier smiles at Cellbit and watches the stress fade from his expression.

[acutecoral]

Anyways, that was a fun first day! Especially given my main povs are mostly in Red Team, which...well, I honestly did not expect them to have spiralled that hard the last half an hour? It was glorious to have witnessed though. Despite the frustrations and drawbacks, they really did claw it back?? Somehow??

I'm still sort of in a state of being overwhelmed, since I had like 14 tabs on and swapped between povs when I had to, and somehow that hit a level of stimulation that wasn't debilitating but just enriching for my brain which is one of the funniest things that came out from this.

We enjoyed seeing Charlie tryhard at being tactical??? We didn't realise until he mentioned it, that for a good 3 hours, he had not cracked a joke and went off being a spy and eavesdropper to help protect and give an advantage to his team. Like damn.

Carre was a GOAT?? HOLY SHIT???? And also, it was great that Cellbit managed to help bridge the communications between Carre and the rest of the team, after having gotten really great at spanish thanks to Roier. But man, that was unexpected but pleasant as they rallied with each other to fight back and complete the quests.

But my personal favourite moment is how BOLAS?!??!?! started fucking spiralling. The frustration had built up so much, the event pushed them SO HARD, that they threw out their Whole Ass character arcs out for EVERYONE IN THE TEAM TO HEAR. I am not sure if that was just them being meta so it's not actually a canon confession, BUT!! THE FACT THAT THEY DID!! THEY FUCKING TOLD ALL OF THEIR TEAMMATES THEIR DEEPEST SECRETS.

CELLBIT HAD KILLED THE WORKERS. FOOLISH HAD BEEN TRYING TO PROTECT HIM FOR THE ENTIRETY OF HIS INVESTIGATION. SLIME KNOWS THE FLIPPA HE'S HANGING OUT WITH WAS FAKE AND WAS CORRUPTING HIM AND IT FUCKING SCARES HIM. JAIDEN WOULD STAB THEM ALL FOR CUCURUCHO. THAT MUST HAVE BEEN CATHARTIC IN SOME FORM AT LEAST. THEY HAD JUST BEEN PUSHED THAT. FAR. TO SAY ALL OF IT IN THE OPEN.

It's funny!! Like MAN. WHAT A DAY.

Other fave moments:

-Etoiles being sad about killing Jaiden and Philza. Him wanting to be with Red and have fun with his broooosss. He kept apologising lmao

-Tubbo and Carre's beef, but Carre apologises and Tubbo forgives him, that was really sweet

-Etoiles and Roier!!! Yessss give me more interactions of their cubitos thank youuu

-Bad being BOLAS?!?!?!?'s enemy #1 LMAO

-Foosh fucking CRITTING BAD, JESUS THAT WAS SO QUICK??? He did not escape damn

-Carre being hunted by Tubbo and Niki, and Cellbit helping coach him on how to hide his name in the map and he manages to kill Tubbo and Niki instead, JESUS

-Charlie's rants, nuff said

-Charlie and Cellbit fucking doing a stick fight pvp (Etoiles would have loved it so much, please let the man chill with Red next time he misses his friends)

-Tubbo and Aypierre??? Team up??? Oh my goddd, I'm so happy to see them working on the same side, like reminded of the fact that Aypierre had wanted to adopt him when Tubbo was first announced to join LMAO

-FOOLISH AND PHIL BEING FUCKING IMMORTALS????? THEY HAD NOT FUCKING DIED FOR NEARLY THE ENTIRE STREAM, HOLY SHIT, BOTH OF THEM ARE CRACKED AT THE CRAFT AND WERE POPPING OFF

-KAMETO??? EATING A PUFFERFISH?? AND GOING DOWN TO HALF A HEART AND FREAKED OUT LMAOOO (and then he ended stream KEK)

-Fit reverting back to his good ol 2b2t self, my man is toxic, let’s go, it's good enrichment for him, probably reminds him of the Incursions he participated 🥰

-SPREEN AND DANTDM CANONICALLY DEAD??? I mean, I feel it's a bit of a sad reveal since that means they don't have plans to come back to the server, but at least their characters got some sort of closure...?

-RUBIUS???? LOGGING IN??? BEING TURNED MORTAL???? Too bad with issues on his game not working, that sucked, hope that works next time and the admins help him to fix it and he joins!!!

-ARIN STREAM??? THIS MAN IS SO CRYPTIC STILL WHAT’S GOING ONNNN

-Bad??? Stealing Jaiden's strawhat??? BRuhhhhhhh

-Charlie goading Bad to a battle?? I think that was hilarious, but then the Sun Became A Deadly Laser and Charlied dried

-Phil did the entire Casulones emote oh my god, they finally did it

-But!! Red chose him to be the leader, and I thought that awesome, that's so deserved

-THE FACT THEY PUT THE RPers AND ENIGMA SOLVERS IN ONE TEAM LMAO, THESE GUYS BARELY KNOW HOW TO MAKE A BOOK AND HADN'T HAD LVLS HIGHER THAN 3 OH MY LORDD

-The bonfire, live sacrifices, and planned descent to cannibalism 🥰🥰

-Charlie joining other peoples vcs near the end and just BROKENLY checking in on them and telling them the plans of BOLAS???!?!?! and literally giving them the coords to their base LMAO

-Baghera killing Phil, Phil waving her goodbye before DEAD

-FOREVER SAYING THE WORDS THE BLACK CUCURUCHO GAVE HIM???? Not sure if anything came of that yet, but OHHH BOYYY

-BAD AND TUBBO??? TEAM UP??? BAD WITH THE AXE AND TUBBO WITH THE SWORD?? HOLY SHIT WHAT A COMBO

-MISSA PLAYING THE KIRBY STAR ALLIES MENU MUSIC WHEN WE DIPPED INTO HIS POV??? THAT SCARED ME LMAO DID NOT EXPECT IT

-The post-event wind down where everyone is chatting and vibing and talking to one another, that was a vibe and was really chill as everyone played tetris and watched each other's streams, and complimented Tina's tetris skills

Honestly, I'm sure there was so many fun moments despite everything, my streamers had fun despite the frustrations and discouragement

I am ecstatic where they may change about things going forward! I trust Q and the Admins to listen to the feedback from people and see how they can shift things to balance it out. We'll see!

Until then! Back on the bus we go!

Remember to stay clear of the pvp! You don't want to find yourself in the way of an axe or a sword swing!

[min3nc]

for the lovebirds!!

🍬 Who is their biggest supporter (friend, family, etc)?

💜 How do they silently show love or affection towards the other?

🤎 How do they comfort each other?

SORRY FOR THE WAIT!!!! I was so busy today sobs. But let's go Lovebirds!!!!

🍬 - Cellbit. Cellbit loves them both and bonded with them so much after Purgatory that he could not be happier that they both ended up finding love in each other!

He did to Jaiden the exact same thing she did to him when he was going to marry Roier - He sent her a vaguely agressive card describing how he would gut her if she hurt Baghera, to which Jaiden responded by immediately teleporting to his house and passing out on the floor cracking up. Just straight up crying from laughter.

💜 - Jaiden knows how self-conscious Baghera is about her own wings in comparison to hers, so she will constantly either preen or imp Baghera's feathers without her needing to ask Jaiden to do so.

Baghera regularly gets her trinkets that remind her of Jaiden, flowers, leafs, whatever. She's the kind of girlfriend who goes "Look it's us!" Before pointing at two rocks that are next to each other.

🤎 - Jaiden will try to resort to doing something ridiculous so her brain rewires itself and she can hug whatever is bothering out of her.

Baghera will go out full-on agression on the subject. "Is there someone you need me to kill? Beat up? Need me to steal something? Anything for you, my love." but always ends up hugging her and

[littleeggrock]

i did a little silly and accidentally wrote a whole 500 word one shot based on the ending of todays lethal stream with bolas + Ranboo lmao

they'd all do anything for the company, but especially Mouse. she's been here the longest and knows her way around the dangers of these planets. so when their ship malfunctions, and none of the controls work anymore, she knows what to do. the doors won't open anymore, but one of the hell beasts outside managed to make an opening and grab Cellbit before they could block up the crack again. That won't do, now they won't have the money to meet their quota. oh well. Ranboo goes willingly, kneeling before her as she looms over him with the sign. it takes 4 hits directly to the head to kill him, and Baghera helps her move his body over to the small pile of loot they gathered on this planet. Bags is next, and stands in front of her as she pledges her allegiance to Mouse and the company. it only takes one hit to break open her skull, she collapses over Ranboo and the crates, and Mouse wonders how much pain she was already in if that was all it took. Jaiden is last, crouched in the corner pleading for her life. Mouse loves Jaiden, one of her closest friends, but this is for the company. maybe they'll even let Mouse live if they ever recover their ship. Jaiden scrambles, muttering wildly to herself as she searches the controls for something, anything that could let her live. Mouse knows that this is a lost cause, but she indulges her anyways, because really, they aren't running on a time limit here. the ship is all but impenetrable now, nothing gets in, nothing gets out. that's just how it goes when they break, she's heard all the horror stories from other co-workers. eventually, Jaiden slows, all but whimpering as she is backed into the corner, and Mouse almost feels bad. but it's her or the company, and two hits cave her ribcage in as she pleads and screams, tears streaming down her face. a day passes. she can still hear the beasts outside, waiting for something. three have gone by now, and the bodies and blood have begun to smell. more creatures have arrived, howling and screeching as the sun goes down. the ship loses all power on day 6 of waiting, and she grabs the sign and starts trying to bash the door down. all passage of time has stopped for her, and the creatures outside howl with every clash of the metal, they too are waiting for her to escape. the company isn't coming, Mouse wonders if they ever were. who has she become? someone who kills her own friends under the guise of safety? under the selfish whim that maybe she could save her own miserable life. she's starving now, a raging thirst burning her from the inside out, but she who kills her co-workers does not deserve respite. eventually, at the dawn of the 7th day (though Mouse does not know this, for her it has been an eternity in darkness, tripping over the bodies and screaming until her voice gives out, yelling for help, screaming for something to take her out and listening to the chorus of animals outside respond) she blacks out and does not wake again.

[magicalmanhattanproject]

i have this au clawing at my brain and refusing to let go Or coalesce into a form where i can actually write it so im jsut spinning miserably but like

somehow, cell from fuga impossível falls through a time portal or something and ends up on quesadilla island confused and disoriented and still incredibly evil and he takes roier hostage

modern cellbit is obviously Extremely panicking about the situation and trying to figure out how to get roier out of there and bargain with someone who he Knows is completely irrational and willing to hurt people at the slightest provocation

on the other hand, roier is just like. very proud of how far his gatinho has come with therapy. very aware that trying to therapize the guy holding him hostage is not a viable option. but also like. the thing that Really Only Roier appreciates is that if it did come down to a fight, roier would win easily. roier is Much more cracked at the craft than cellbit has ever been. it's just that roier doesn't want to hurt cell or cellbit

everyone thinks roier is dangerously underestimating cell and actually roier is the one being underestimated but he would really really really prefer to be able to keep things that way

[qpacinho]

Diving Bell

So I finished the prologue for that Cellbit and Pac life eater au I was working on. It's now got 21 planned chapters aside from a prologue and epilogue.

Gonna be posting it here and on ao3 so here's the finished prologue and Diving Bell on AO3

Warnings for murder, unreality, dream sequence, and implied kidnapping

It feels real. The weight of the metal in his hand has never been more present in his mind. He stands in a narrow alley way, but somehow there are lights overhead. Just overhead, he could almost reach up and touch them. He doesn’t, though. In fact, he quietly shifts until his back against the wall. Ignoring the catch of rough brick against his jacket, he shuffles silently closer to his target. All of him but his shoes manage to stay just out of the high contrasting light. It's all so real, even if the knowledge of his situation is only slowly catching up to him.

The knife feels heavier. Now wrapped in cloth and worn dull. It weighs ten pounds in his fingers. He moves forward anyways. With every step closer to his target, just beyond the overhead light, it pulls his arm down. He has to fight to keep it up at all. Even holding it becomes difficult as his shoes continue to softly scuff against the cracked asphalt. It threatens to slip through his fingers no matter how much he tightens his grip. He feels the skin pressed against the metal begin to split.

Then he's close. He slows his breathing to near silence. Counting in his head and trying to time it to the rise and fall of the breath of the person in front of him. Someone staring down at the ground in front of them. A mess of blond hair. Despite the agony of lifting the knife, he only grunts as it lodges into their spinal cord. It slips between the vertebrae with a grinding he's far too familiar with now. Then with a further push of the knife they go limp.

Hands slip under armpits and he lowers the body with hardly any further sound. Blood and spinal fluid ooze out, but they seem to still be breathing. And that's important. They need to be breathing. This won't work if they're not breathing. He can feel his gut twist and hands shake. A sudden crushing feeling overtakes him from behind. He whips around. But for a moment it's as if he’s not allowed to move that fast. It turns at a snail’s pace. Stutters like a lagging computer.

There's glitching visibly overlaying the person standing in the light behind him. It cuts into their appearance but he can smell the fear. He can see it in the way they hold onto their face. Their hair obscures the details. Behind the shifting overlays of color he can tell their hair is black and blue. Their clothes were also blue. A blue rabbit, something echoes deep from that door in his brain, a witness to the slaughter. 

Take him, it purrs. Cellbit feels his stomach go sour. He closes his eyes and wills the person gone. This can’t be real. His eyes won't close, though. He stares at them as the world falls apart. Brick gives way not to darkness, but to nothing. Like the perception slips through his cracks. Or maybe he’s slipping through reality. Their world gets narrower and narrower until it’s just the two of them. His mind slowly becomes a chorus of near incomprehensible commands.

“No,” he says, eyes flying open to a ceiling barely visible. Terror pulling his muscles taught and threatening to rip the sheets. Don’t let it be true, he thinks. It spins in his head enough to make him dizzy. It’s seared into his mind with an iron brand. The truth always hurts. It always burns away in his brain until he’s done. It eats at his cognition until satiated. But that was different.

It was far, far different.

[anonymous-dentist]

But also:

-

It’s a little funny how Penacony is intergalactically-renowned as a ‘dream world’ when everything in it is a goddamn nightmare.

The lights? Too bright, flashing, colorful: red and blue and pink and orange and colors that can only exist in the distorted subconscious that the dream realm is built upon.

The sounds? Too loud, too everywhere: cars honking and bands playing and people screaming and advertisement boards chasing you down begging for you to check out their home store because even a dimension entirely made out of dreams has fallen into the immoral clutches of capitalism.

Cellbit hates it. He hates everything about it, actually, down to the strange fluttering in his stomach every time he passes by a sentient traffic cone and the buzzing in his head when he drinks too much SoulGlad.

But the IPC has their eyes on the planet, and so Cellbit is here before Cucurucho and the rest of the IPC Census Bureau can arrive and take stock of the people they’re ready to enslave. You can’t die in a dream, but maybe Cellbit can kill Cucurucho good enough in the dream realm that she’ll wake up in the hotel and have a heart attack at the memory of their own death.

Wouldn’t that be nice?

Cellbit sips at his SoulGlad with a faint smile on his lips. Penacony is supposed to make his dreams come true, right? Maybe the Family can allow him just one little murder before sicking their Bloodhounds on him.

“This stuff sucks,” Roier complains, slumping against the bar with his still-full glass in hand. “Why don’t they just serve water here?”

More important than the IPC and Cucurucho, however, is the Fool by Cellbit’s side. It’s Roier’s birthday, and he wanted a nice vacation to get away from the whole ‘revenge quest’ thing they’ve been doing for the past couple of common galactic month cycles. He wanted his dream vacation, and so Cellbit got him just that: a vacation inside of a literal dream.

“You’re in a dream, and you just want water?” the bartender incredulously asks. She shakes her head and walks away to the other end of the bar to handle a drunk wine bottle complaining about her ex husband the whiskey.

“It’s my birthday!” Roier whines. He smushes his cheek against the sticky bar top and squeezes his eyes shut. “Even the water tastes like shit! It’s all sparkly and stuff!”

Cellbit rolls his eyes. “It’s sparkling water, pendejo. I don’t think they even have water on Penacony. Just alcohol.”

Roier groans dramatically. “I want to go home!”

‘Home’ being Cellbit’s ship, the Ordem. It’s a tiny little thing- so small that he and Roier have to share a bed in the closet pretending to be sleeping quarters- but it sure beats trying to hitchhike between planets. (Cellbit knows from experience.)

Cellbit gently pats Roier’s back. “If you aren’t having fun here, we can go somewhere else. Unlimited dream worlds, remember? There’s gotta be something you’ll like.”

Currently, they’re in Golden Hour. But Cellbit thinks there’s a dream realm that’s one big huge restaurant somewhere, Roier should like that. He likes food, and he likes the natural chaos that comes with a restaurant full of rich entitled people.

But Roier just shakes his head and cracks an eye open to look up at Cellbit.

“Can we just… go back to our room?” he asks. “Maybe we can come back later, but only if they have actual fucking water!”

He sits up and shouts that last bit at the bartender, who just sighs and continues consoling the wine bottle. (Apparently, the whiskey cheated on her with a bottle of champagne from the amusement park realm. Wow, what a piece of shit.)

Cellbit’s face softens, and he nods. “Of course. And maybe we’ll get to kill Cucurucho when we come back.”

Roier smiles at that. “Ay, don’t get my hopes up.”

Because Roier’s best friend and son have been ‘acquired’ by the Census Bureau, and Cellbit’s whole planet was destroyed by the Census Bureau’s actions. Cucurucho needs to die, simple. And they’re going to make it happen, even in their dreams.

[anachronistic-falsehood]

whiskey help i dont watch qsmp what the hell is going on with charlie i keep seeing cool art please infodump 2 me (<< guy who is unfortunately weak for glitch aesthetics and also guy who enjoys charlie slimecicle)

OKAY. SO. You're aware of the eggs right? Slime and Mariana had one named JuanaFlippa (trans icon <3) and she died pretty early on which SUCKS because i LOVE HER!!! there are also these things on the island called Codes. they're just glitched out forms of binary code and they used to keep trying to kill the eggs. the codes can impersonate the eggs and have multiple times before to try attacking the islanders

ON CHARLIE'S BIRTHDAY. he goes to his house and finds this fucking underground cave. where did it come from? who fucking knows. HIS DEAD FUCKING DAUGHTER SHOWS UP. when she writes on her signs to talk, it's basically terezi speak, like a whole bunch of letters are replaced with numbers which is Weird bc she didn't used to do that. but charlie is a grieving father and it looks like his daughter is back. she says it's not safe for her here yet and leaves him alone in the cave

FAST FORWARD TO A FEW DAYS AGO. charlie finds juanaflippa again and she wants to hang out and do egg tasks with him like they used to!!! fun times!!!! she is killed multiple times throughout the night bc of Shenanigans but she always comes back. eggs don't do that. charlie doesn't care!! she's alright and that's all that matters!!!

yesterday. i was watching cellbit's stream so i might be missing some more context but the pov from the other streamers makes it sooooo much more fucked up. anyway SO. phil and cellbit go to visit charlie. they see juanaflippa. and their own eggs are missing right now, and they know juanaflippa's dead so it's... really weird??? but hey if one of the dead eggs is somehow back and charlie seems sure that it is her then let's just be calm and polite about it. (cellbit's "i must be the best tio ever" instincts kick in and he is so so nice to her in the beginning oh my god it was so sweet I MISS SEEING HIM WITH THE EGGS)

at some point charlie. sneezes??? kind of?? but it sounds like.... glitched out computer noises. that's not normal!!! but he treats it like it is. cellbit realizes that part of charlie's shoulder is.... black??? with green lines through it??? it looks kind of like one of the code entities OH FUCK THIS IS CLEARLY NOT JUANAFLIPPA. and her being an imposter gets more and more obvious. she doesn't take damage now, her signs are riddled with leetspeak and completely glitched out symbols, she wants to blow up mariana's house, and she doesn't remember a lot of things.

like this is so clearly not juanaflippa but charlie doesn't care. to him, this is his daughter!!! she's finally come back to him!! and yeah her shell is a little cracked and she writes a little weird and he can understand the strange symbols on her signs and his shoulder hurts and he just makes sounds that he can't control, but that's his baby. that's his daughter. he misses her so much. there's nothing wrong with him. there can't be. not as long as juanaflippa is here

[disfrutalakia]

prompt: decoration

Heartbeat and pressure rising steadily as papers crossed his *tableless* office floor, 4ever gripped his suit to not tear off some floorboard, all furniture in most active bases simply *gone*. Culprit was clear as day, and Cellbit was really clamoring for something to be done, but 4ever sighed away his communicator, pressing his hands in his temples to alleviate to rapidly coming headache, he should try wrangling something out of the shadow entity.

and *yet*, something made him hesitate to follow the plan his vice laid out in private messages and Richarlyson cross communication. It wasn't the prospect of jailing some resident surely, but... 4ever skin itched, maybe he could settle this in some other form, that didn't also want to make him tear his hair off.

Pulling his warpstone, it is easy to get near Bad's base, but 4ever does loudly swear as the papers accidentally come with him in the teleportation, spreading in a mess against the terrain.

Kneeling down, the sound of someone coming near made his hands shake, but 4ever didn't stop. Some papers waive on his vision, making him stop and look.

"Hello president, what brings you here?"

Bad smiles down at him, and the part of his mind that howls at the moon wants to grind his teeth, but 4ever only cracks a teasing smile at the demon before taking the papers and gets up to face him.

"Can't i visit a friend to detress, Bad?"

"Uhum."

Bad crossed his arms, squinting the light dots of eyes up to 4ever. His skin itched under the layers.

"So? can we go inside or we just gonna stand in this field..."

"Aren't there more important things for you to worry about?"

"Hum?"

"You know, with the whole... disapearance of things."

"So you want to talk about that?" 4ever felt his smile widen, teasing ready jab at his friend.

Bad turned. "C'mon, do you want to see the aquarium?"

4ever smile dropped, something strange in the air between them, but yet. "Of course!"

They trudged along, silence both comfortable and making 4ever mind think over the strange air, maybe Bad was already onto him and his intentions? the demon couldn't possibly overlook that he was the most likely suspect after all.

Entering the halls full of chaos of mobs and backpacks is somehow both a delight and despairing feeling, the chaos was a delight, and 4ever heart ached for the mess and how to clean it up, o how they need a sorting system, maybe he can have a world with-

"4ever... what you think about a black sofa?"

He blinks and looks up at the demon.

"... Some specific place or just, their general look??"

"Like, here, exactly, Let me just..." And then there it was, a two seat sofa laid out from one of the demon's backpacks.

It almost made a vein pop in 4ever head.

"The... the wood work is intricate!"

"Right? tho i thought the dark color could be swapped for something more fun."

4ever watched Bad smile, and god he **cannot** not be fucking with him, holding his breath for a moment and let go, and decided that yeah, let's turn this game a bit.

"How? skinning out another sofa?"

Bad tilted his head at him. "Hum... i don't know, maybe i have some dye-."

"But that would be boring wouldn't it?"

4ever took a step forward, leaning into Bad's space as he squinted more at him, fangs peaking between lips.

Perhaps 4ever shouldn’t focus so much on his mouth.

"As boring as leaving furniture not rescued would it?"

"Are you accusing me of something, president?"

4ever's face opened in a toothy grin.

"Did you leave the server furniture-less, Badboy?"

He watched as the demon expression twitched, his tail whipped two times, his hands pressing and smoothing the fabric he could reach naturally.

Intrusive thoughts would say to 4ever make sure to crumple that part extra more.

"What are you talking about?"

The blond pounced quickly, holding his arms and taking both of them down easily, slamming the demon onto the sofa is an exhilarating feeling that also makes him bear his fangs

"I'm not up to that game, so what about this, if you don't give me an answer, I'll paint this sofa with *your* blood, huh?"

4ever almost wanted to laugh, seeing a blush spread bellow the light eyes, of course he would like this, because he always got along best with the more fucked ones.

"That’s an... interesting offer~"

With a more tight grip, 4ever had to breath out, ok then, they were going to play this game then.

That's totally not what I was expecting you to with the theme but I loved it!!! Forgive me for the lack of words it's 2am over here. But. Know that I loved it!!!!