#cause its most of my For Fun budget LOL

[todayisafridaynight]

NO STOP I WAS LITERALLYYYYY THINKING IT SOUNDED LIKE WHAT YOU SAY ABOUT THE KH FANDOM😭😭😭it's not quite to that level yet but a similar misplacement of analysis... especially when like, y'know, Yokoyama's said you'd have to be a genius to work out IW's story from the trailer but it's Technically Possible. Religion being a keyword during development, The Last Supper images actually are meant to be analyzed too...

I Ain't Doing All That and I'm not trying to see it until the game's out so things stay fresh and concrete connections can be made, but it's at least more worthwhile to me than throwing darts at the family tree and seeing what sticks... I am interested in what the writers have to say about religion even if I grew up Muslim and will probably have no idea what they're talking about though...

Anyway speaking of MasaDai I totally forgot to say but I enjoyed your last fic a lot :) You did great with actually making it grounded/believable while highlighting what makes the dynamic so fun methinks

the horrifying word here is 'yet' though it will only get worse !!!!!!!!!! like if mates really do wanna pick apart things i won't stop em, i think it can be fun to watch just don't be insane and ESPECIALLY don't go start bein insufferable to other people 😷

deranged but also not super surprising the last supper pic has depth to it. like Of Course It Would i never doubted that, its just that im not a guy who really likes to do that kind of in-depth analysis- not until i go through the game at least lol. will be fun/ny to see where they go with the religion direction though (and to see if i end up having the bible recited to me in my inbox by the end of all this LMAO)

OH AWFUL YOU READ IT i was thinking of deleting it this morning actually LMAO but im glad you were able to get something out of it :] i just think theyre silly...

[shimp-heaven]

:3c

[cannibalcreepers]

Hii! I was wondering if you’ve ever ranked the Wrong Turn movies yourself? I don’t really count the 2021 reboot cuz it doesn’t have the boys in it, but if you want to count that one you gladly do it. Also if you’ve already ranked them that’s fine and you don’t have to do it again if you don’t want to.

Promise you my dear, that 2021 movie wont be ever ranked in with the Wrong Turn franchise, I don't recognize it as part of the series either lol. But! I will do two rankings, my personal and a non-bias one Personally: 4, 2, 1, 5, 3 and 6 are my Best to Worse. I adore the 4th film, it's my favourite, my comfort movie, my baby, also its the one with the best looking One-Eye, cute as FUCK in that movie.. 2nd is also a fave, love it so much and how it brings in the new side of the family, 1st if a classic, it's the original but I do enjoy fun over seriousness, so the 2nd goes above it. Now with the not-so great side of the films, I enjoyed the 5th with its story and how they handled it as an inbetweener for the 4th and 1st films as well as enjoyed the fun kills but that's all. I'm not a fan of how they handled the characterization of my boys or Maynard, nor the designs of them it truly looked like they didn't put a lot of heart into it. The 3rd is okay and the kills cool, but it felt very bland and flat, hated the story, hated the protags, hated that Three-Toes didn't last long and it just sucked. I hate the 6th film all together, hate the designs, hate the new villains, hate the story, hate the acting, felt the kills were boring, I'd tear it up and re-do it completely if I could. Apologies to fans of this one, but it really sucks its the only horror movie I've ever skipped scenes in and I've watched some real fucking shit-ass low-budget snoozers of some horrors all the way through. The (attempted) non-bias: 1,2,4,5,3,6. The 1st is a classic, it is what brought us the Wrong Turn films and out of every one of them its the most realistic is design and story, it is simply more real in the looks of the brothers, how they are as people and the story of it all, which is what makes it scary cause they were not originally mutants with special healing and strength qualities, just really violent cannibalistic hillbilly-bastard men that could have been inbred (them being inbred is more solidified in the 2nd movie) Its simple and gritty, it stands on its own and really would be fine without the other movies which is why its S tier. The 2nd, is were it broadens the families story out more, though doesn't explain everything as there still needs to be mystery to this family, but it does bring more characters that are family members and I love that it's natural! This is where the 6th WT movie and also where some other horror movies fail when bringing in new family characters when it comes to sequels or prequels where new family members fuck up the dynamic or just make zero sense on where they relate to the original films. The 2nd film is also where it brings the more comedy side of Wrong Turn, but doesn't come off entirely strong so its easier to ease into. It also is the one that brought more lore with how they're related via incest, the involvement of Maynard as well as brought in new lore such as the idea of mutation and that they can take more damage and have more strength to them. The 4th is where we return back to the three brothers and delve into their history more, this is actually where we get a more solid idea of their ages and personalities, the three brother become fleshed out more and really feels like the movie is more about them than their victims we're supposed to be following. It's definitely the one that brought the comedy out the most and made it enjoyable, the new designs on the brothers are also still very nice though they lost their realistic-ness features it is happily not distractible and still appealing. It still has amazing kills, happily does not lack in that creativity, really a good place to find out more lore and it fits nicely in the story line as a beginning.

The 5th is a mix of good and bad, with being the inbetweener of the 4th and 1st film, it filled in the blanks of how the boys got where they are a really good idea, the story is pretty solid and can be seen as fun, it only fails in the design and handling of the characters, with most the victims being bland and boring, though some more interesting than others (the old drunk man and cop lady) but they went a different route in how the three brothers were as characters, in both looks and personalities, as well as how Maynard is in personality and character which is very different from the past films. But the cannibals change personalities is all it failed in, other than that it is a good fun movie with good deaths and a solid lore story that relates from the steps of 4-5-1-2-3. The 3rd, though meant to be the "ending" of the Hillikers/Odets family, leaving an opening of 'mystery cannibal?' at the end. It does have some really nice kills, very creative but that is where it ends. The main idea of the story, though is an idea is one that feels out of place, uninteresting and at times even frustrating. The designs have become more poorly, though is not the worse of the films, it is more a movie that doesn't give a satisfying end and at times loses your interest. It does relate to the 2nd film with having connections, so it does well with keeping up with lore.

The 6th is difficult, since it doesn't fit anywhere realistically or naturally with the 1-5 lore. The acting is poorly, the designs of the brothers are horrendous and the characteristics of the main three boys are the most different and out of place of all the films, it brings in a cult-like lore that doesn't relate nor add up to the original stories, the deaths are okay but nothing entirely creative or fun like its predecessors, neither the new killers or victims are likable or memorable.

(if you want like tier ranking) WT 1: S Tier WT 2: A Tier (My friend would say S tho lol) WT 3: E Tier WT 4: A Tier (personally I'd say S) WT 5: C Tier WT 6: F Tier

[sindrafalcone]

Adventures in Babysitting pt. 4

Fandom: BIGBANG/ Choi Seung Hyun x reader

Synopsis: A babysitting job turns into something unexpected…

Warnings: Still fluff, with a bit of steam  at the end.

Author’s Note: Surprise! I wrote this part right after finishing the last one. I was on a roll. lol But, fair warning, part 5 will probably take me a little while. Still I hope you all enjoy this one. Thanks for reading!

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. This story contains fictional representations of real people. None of the events are true. This is from an American standpoint, so some of the situations may not happen the same way they might in Korea. I make no money from the writing of this fictional work.

Masterlist

Part 1   Part 2  Part 3

“There is no way I'm prepared to have this conversation without alcohol.” Seunghyun said as the two of you hung up your coats and slid out of your shoes.

You simply murmured your agreement as he headed off to the kitchen, presumably for more wine.

The taxi ride back to the hotel had been awkward, to say the least. You'd kind of run out of things to talk about & neither of you wanted to discuss the proverbial 'elephant in the room' until you got back to the hotel.  So most of the ride was spent in awkward silence in between bits of random small talk.

In just a few moments you were both seated on the sofa facing each other, just as you had earlier that same evening, glasses of liquid courage in hand.

“I guess the best way is to just tell you...” he said, taking a deep gulp of his wine.

You nodded in encouragement. “Like a band-aid, all at once.”

“I'm a rapper.” Seunghyun blurted. The look of disbelief on your face only made him talk even faster.

“Well, I'm a rapper, an actor and a sometimes model. I'm part of an incredibly popular group, Bigbang. They call us the “Kings” of Kpop. So, that's why Mrs. Tran recognized me.”

“And that explains why you wanted to eat in the private room.” you smiled at him. “I thought maybe you had a phobia of crowds.”

He laughed a little at that. “Well, I don't really like crowds. But only because if I get recognized, it can cause a mob scene.” “You're really that popular?”

“It's worse in Asia.” he admitted. “But it can happen anywhere. We have to be really careful.”

You took a sip of your own wine, gears turning in your head; and it was then that sudden comprehension dawned on you. It took all that you had to not spit it out in surprise & Seunghyun watched in concern as you choked a little.

“Wait a minute...” you managed to gasp. “Is your name Choi Seunghyun?” you tried to keep your voice level.

He nodded sheepishly.

“I'm such an idiot...” you lightly smacked your hand up against your forehead before taking another drink. “I've been spending the entire evening with THE Choi Seunghyun and I didn't even realize it.”

“So, you've heard of the group then?” Seunghuyn asked, his voice a little bitter, thinking that perhaps you'd been leading him on all night.

You shook your head.  “No, that's not it... Um, maybe it will help if I spill my secret now. Do you happen to still have that pamphlet from the museum?”

“Yeah. It's in my coat pocket.”

“Would you mind going to get it, please? It'll make this a lot easier.” you murmured.

Seunghyun gave you a curious glance before setting his glass down on the table. Unfolding himself from the couch, he strode over to the entryway of the room & dug around in the inside pockets of his coat for a bit before he found the piece of folded paper. He handed it to you before sitting back down & to your surprise, he plunked the fortune cookies from the restaurant on the table as well. You felt yourself swallow thickly as you set your own glass down.

“Okay, so the Surrealist exhibit... you liked it, right?” you asked, bending the paper and folding it so that the back was prominently displayed.

He bobbed his head eagerly. “I loved it. It was both innovative and immersive. Not to mention that it featured work by some of my favorite artists.”  

“I'll take that as a compliment.” you told him, feeling the heat rise to your face at his genuine words.

Seunghyun looked confused, so you handed him the pamphlet, shyly pointing at the bottom of the paper.

His eyes scanned over a list of names that he didn't know; donors, directors, and managers of the museum... until he came to a line that stopped him cold. Surrealist Exhibit Curator: __________ ______________.

He pointed where your finger had just left. “That's.... that's your name. You're the curator of the exhibit I've been dying to see for  months?”

You tried your best not to be offended by the disbelief you thought you heard in his voice. “Yeah, that's me. Surprise... I guess? Small world.”

Seunghyun sat there in stunned silence for a moment as he thought things out, giving you the perfect opportunity to finish off the wine in your glass. He drank the rest of his as well, then poured fresh for you both.

“I thought...” he began, his voice soft. “I thought you worked there as a tour guide.” “Technically, I do.” you sighed. “I have a masters degree in art history, as well as a minor in public relations. It helps with the marketing and fundraising aspects.” you explained before sighing heavily. “But the job market to be a curator is stupidly competitive, not to mention, heavily dominated by men. So... I took what I could.” you had another sip of wine, slower this time because you could feel it starting to go to your head. “I figured I could start at the bottom and work my way up.”

“And you finally convinced them to let you curate an exhibit.” he said, taking his own drink. “How?”

You shrugged. “The Museum chief envisioned Surrealism and no one else wanted to do it. So, I more-or-less pulled double time for a few months while I put it together.”

“Did they pay you more?” Seunghyun asked, anger evident in his voice.

You just shook your head. “Not in the budget.”

He snorted. “Bullshit. I'll bet the chief gave himself a nice, fat bonus with the money that should have gone to you for all that extra work. And all you got was your name on the back of the tour pamphlet... in tiny print... at the very bottom.” Seunghyun grimaced and took a drink.

“No need to rub it in.” you grumbled, looking down at your feet, face flaming in embarrassment.

“No! That's not what I meant...Ugh, I'm making a mess of this.” he gently took the wine glass from your hand & set both his and yours down, then he turned back to you. Seunghyun slowly reached out his hand and settled the tips of his long fingers under your chin, gently moving your head up until you were looking into his eyes. “I'm not trying to make fun of you. If anything, I am enraged on your behalf. What they did to you was wrong and you shouldn't have to tolerate it.”

“I can't afford to quit.”you sniffed. “Besides, I get to lead people through the exhibit every day and see their reactions to it... good or bad. Most don't really appreciate it, at least... not the way you did. But it gets people thinking.”

“Wait...” Seunghyun said, reaching out and taking your hands in his. “Just a minute ago, you were shocked that you had spent the evening with “THE” Choi Seunghyun & hadn't realized it. What did you mean by that? If you don't know me by my music or acting, then...” he let the sentence hang there, unsaid.

You took a deep breath and blew it out awkwardly. “Mark has been trying to get me to agree to meet with you for months. I've kept putting him off, mostly because I can't afford to fly out there right now. But... I've heard your name come up in the art circles occasionally & I'll admit, I felt intimidated....”

“Mark?” he interrupted. “Mark Grotjhan?”

“The one and only.” you laughed. “We met a while back when our museum was doing a showcase of his work. And he helped me get in touch with some artists and donors when I was curating for the Surrealist exhibit.”

“Wow...” Seunghyun breathed. “It really is a small world.”

“I know, right? What are the odds that I ended up being your babysitter for tonight? I mean, you got to see the exhibit, which otherwise would have been closed. And I got to meet you... even if I didn't realize it was you at the time.”

“Why did he want you to meet with me?”

“Connections, I think. You know how the art world works as much as I do. It's all about who you know and what influence you have.”

Seunghyun nodded. “That makes sense.” Then he surprised you by pulling out his phone and patting his thigh.

You just shot him a questioning look. “What?”

“We may as well let him know we found each other.” he laughed. “Come here, _________.”

The way that smile lit up his face, especially his eyes, had you crawling across the couch and  into his lap before he could change his mind. The two of you put your heads close to each other and smiled for one picture. Then Seunghyun made a funny face, so you did too & he snapped another. He took a few more with various poses before he seemed satisfied.

You sat there while he typed out a quick message and sent it, not knowing what else to do. But you did notice that he still had the smile plastered on his handsome face. Once he was finished he looked over to you, seeming to realize for the first time that you were still in his lap.

It could have been your imagination or the wine, but it seemed like his expression completely changed. One second, he had a boyish grin and a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. The next, it had shifted to a look of pure hunger, with maybe just a touch of lust.

You cleared your throat. “Um... we, uh... still haven't eaten our fortune cookies.” you tried lamely, pointing to where he had left them on the table.

“Is that so?” his voice practically purred.

You felt one of his arms snake its way around your waist as he leaned forward to grab one off the table. Seunghyun settled back into the sofa, arms still around you as he unwrapped the cookie and broke it. He offered up half to you, which you took, surprising him by just grabbing it from his fingers with your mouth. He popped the other half  into his before unfolding and reading the piece of paper it had contained:

You are very talented in many ways.

As you read the fortune, you started laughing. It began as a small chuckle and just progressed further and further, until it was an outright, full on belly laugh. You could feel the tears just beginning to prick the sides of your eyes when he finally spoke.

“I don't see what's so funny.” Seunghyun deadpanned around a mouthful of cookie. “I am very talented in many ways.”

His statement only made you laugh harder. It took you a few minutes, but when you realized that he wasn't laughing, you began to recover enough so that you could finally explain. “Don't tell me you don't know how to play the game!” you finally managed to wheeze.

“Game?” he asked, genuinely intrigued. “What game?”

“The fortune cookie game!” you sat up straighter. “One of my friends in college taught it to me because we would get Chinese takeout at least once a week.”

“So what exactly is this game and why is it so funny to you?”

You suddenly felt a little embarrassed. “Well you, um... you take your fortune and add 'in bed' to the end of  it.” you felt your voice trail off at the end.

“You are very talented in many ways...” he paused. “... in bed?”

You nodded and giggled again slightly. “Sometimes it works out and it's really funny like that one. Other times it doesn't really make sense, but it's still fun to try.”

“I don't see how this one is funny...” his voice rumbled darkly.

You were about to get up, afraid that you had  possibly offended him, when Seunghyun took gentle hold of your shoulders firmly keeping you in place. And that's when you felt it.... his lips pressing softly onto the side of your neck.

“I am very talented in many ways...”  he asserted again, his breath ghosting across your heated skin.

[littlesk8board]

this is an essay(?) i guess that i really just want to post somewhere so that i can find it again in like three years when i randomly remember i wrote it,, you know

anyway yeah ok bye

oh also content warning for discussion of domestic and family violence/abuse - its not graphic but it is kinda the topic lol

‘not all monsters do monstrous things’

I know this might seem like a questionable choice for a quote, potentially bordering into #notallmen territory and the like.

Truth be told, I’m not actually sure what most people would make of this quote. Aside from the fact that I’m not really ever sure what other people think about anything, it’s also just frustratingly vague when removed from the original context.

The quote comes from MTV’s Teen Wolf, which is probably not quite as shocking a revelation as knowing “I think we deserve a soft epilogue, my love” is from a 2015 stucky fanfic.

In the context of the show, the quote is meant literally; not all werewolves kill people. This is, one could argue, the message of the show, but it’s also hard to know what that means when placed into a broader context. What are you trying to say, Jeff Davis? Who are these monsters, and what monstrous things do they refrain from doing?

And yes, I know, lending this much credence to a low budget teen show from the 2010s is probably a waste of time, and these types of shows probably had more thought put into them by the fandoms than by the actual creators,,

BUT. I reject this as grounds for dismissal. For a couple of reasons:

Firstly, analysing any art is valuable, not just critically acclaimed pieces. Teen Wolf was a massive part of my adolescence, and, for the record, (not that this is an unpopular opinion), season 3B was award worthy.

Reading into things is fun, especially when you care about the art as a whole, even if, admittedly, the original source is mildly shitty. Gays especially, are very accustomed to reading too far into facets of mainstream media, because crumbs of representation are better than nothing. The fandom’s interpretation of the CW’s Supernatural is heartbreaking. Destiel? EVERYTHING. The actual show? HA. It has its moments. (There is SO MUCH I could say about Supernatural, but that will have to be another time because this (whatever this is?) wasn’t even meant to be about Teen Wolf.)

Secondly, (yes yes we were listing things, I get pretty carried away - deal with it). Secondly, this quote, this specific quote, ‘not all monsters do monstrous things’, is one of the most commonly repeated amongst the Teen Wolf fandom, at least in terms of quotes that are meant to carry some deeper meaning. I myself had it on my bedroom wall for a good five years before redecorating recently.

It seems like it’s saying something profound. It really does. What that is, I’ve had a hard time determining.

And this is not in anyway to poke fun of my younger ‘cringier’ self, or a piece of media that is typically enjoyed by young girls and gays. This is to say that i think I may have found an interpretation which may explain why I was so inexplicably drawn to it. (At least in the context of my life. - I don’t know you, maybe you read it as some homophobic conversion therapy mantra.)

Anyway, stay with me here.

That might seem like a ridiculous request to make, this far into a piece that has already referenced destiel in a positive light,, HOWEVER.

However.

The Depp/Heard defamation trial is nightmare fuel for victims and survivors of domestic and family violence. Coincidently, (a very fun coinkydink I’m sure you’ll agree) I found myself trying to detach from my abuser, in real time, as the trial played out and beyond.

I think that is all I will say on that for now. All you need to know is I am a victim of abuse, which has caused major physical and psychological damage to my body.

This is not the first time I have found myself fixated on learning about domestic and family abuse, not the first time I have found myself attempting to come to terms with my reality, not the first time I have found myself seeking to detach myself permanently from my abuser.

It is, however, the first time I have been shown in real time just how many people, not just anons on twitter, but people I know in real life, do not believe me. If the trial had started a mere two weeks earlier, I would probably still be in the thick of that abusive cycle, for I don’t know how many more years.

So it stands to reason that I would be seeking out resources for victims, especially when surrounded by people who are, at best, dismissive of my experience.

I have found a community on twitter, just as preoccupied with the trial, and the verdict, and what it means for survivors. To be clear, the verdict reached declared that even if someone is to not even name their abuser, when discussing their own experience of abuse, it is defamatory to the abuser. The trial was about silencing victims. And it scares me. It should scare you.

Ok, ok, but what does all of this have to do with the Teen Wolf quote?

I’ve read countless amazing articles, threads and such, where people articulate my thoughts and make coherent conclusions; basically they say what I can’t, way better than i ever could.

A lot of what I’ve read confirms what I had already been trying to figure out as a survivor. Some of it is new; definitely some of the vocabulary, but the concepts are things I know so intimately. How easily abusers can fool the people around them, the tactics they use, but also, how willing people are to believe them.

It is easier to believe Johnny Depp,, (derogatory).

Watching all these people I know, people I loved, people I trusted, people I had once confided in, people I was considering confiding in, engage in such vitriolic and relentless victim blaming, was traumatic. Not being believed, not being taken seriously when discussing abuse, is as traumatic, if not more, as the initial abuse.

It took me 16 years to admit to myself that what I was experiencing was unusually bad, and another 4 to be comfortable calling it abuse.

These past few months I have found myself back in my school counsellor’s office, where I was being told to take his words and let them wash over me like water on a duck’s back. Where after 2 solid years of visits she finally agreed that my troubles were not just those of a typical strained relationship.

I am back in my first psychologist’s office, where, much to my surprise, I first heard the word ‘abuse’ used to describe my experience.

The number of people who have had to say the word to me unprompted, for me to even partially believe it to be true is far larger than I care to admit.

Now when I’m upfront about calling it what it is, to friends, to family, to new psychs, they are distrustful of my summation, certain I must be exaggerating. FORCING ME TO EXPLAIN EVERY DETAIL FOR THEM TO EVENTUALLY AGREE WITH MY ORIGINAL DIAGNOSIS.

I KNOW WHAT IT IS. BUT PEOPLE DON’T WANT A VICTIM TO BE AWARE OF IT. THEY WANT TO BE THE ONE TO TELL YOU. THEY WANT TO BE A SAVIOUR. IF YOU ALREADY THINK THIS, OBVIOUSLY YOU’RE LYING, OR AT THE VERY LEAST READING INTO WHAT LITTLE THERE IS.

Every time I try to get someone to understand me, I am re-traumatised, only for them to, yes, be sure that what I’ve experienced was truely unpleasant, but in the same breath tell me that ‘abuse’ is too strong of a word. If I was abused, that makes him an abuser. And he’s not. He can’t be.

He’s not a monster.

And this is where my points collide. Two half-baked thoughts of mine become untangled and join together to complete the circuit.

I am reminded of this sentiment I heard in a video essay about racism; that racism isn’t evil, because evil isn’t real.

Monsters don’t exist. Abusers are not monsters. That’s what makes them so insidious. To most people, the ‘they’ve always been perfectly nice to me’ crowd, abusers are very nice, charming, whatever. They have to be. And they know it.

If they show just how intelligent, sensible, and level headed they are, painting their victim as a hysterical, delusional, LIAR, is almost too easy.

They are making a choice. They prove that they can be kind, to both the people around the victim, and the victim, in the ‘honeymoon’ stage of the abuse cycle. They are taking their power, and using it to do what they want, because they know that they can.

And they’re not wrong. They can. And if they were unsure, Johnny Depp just gave them a little ‘how-to’, on a GLOBAL stage.

‘Not all monsters do monstrous things.’

What does this quote mean to me? Being monstrous is a choice. No matter what society sees you as, no matter what you have done in the past, etc…

You can be a monster and still do good. That doesn’t take away what makes you a monster.

This can be viewed in an optimistic sense; you are not your worst actions.

But in the context of abuse, if you reframe it slightly; ‘monsters don’t always do monstrous things’.

You are not your best actions.

I do have good memories with my abuser. It doesn’t erase my abuse. It doesn’t make it less painful. What it does do, is make it harder to consistently believe myself, to say a permanent goodbye.

Two years ago I was about 5 months no-contact with my abuser, still in the infancy of my healing, but making slow progress.

Hearing he was in a bad place mentally, I went back, fearing for his life.

I was angry with the people telling me ‘he’s been depressed before’. I had to do something, I had to be there for him.

My past attempts to disengage had always been reframed as the REAL ABUSE, and I felt as if it was quite literally ME who was putting his life in danger.

I could not be the reason that someone, let alone someone I loved, died.

By walking away this time, by making that his last chance, I am putting my life above his. Which is good.

But it is also an acknowledgement to myself that if he dies without me, he dies. I am accepting this fate. I am taking on this burden of guilt and grief, becoming HIS villain, in order to save myself.

I am holding on to this seemingly unrelated Teen Wolf quote, a remnant of 15-year-old me, to help me stay gone.

Maybe I’m his monster, but that doesn’t mean what I’ve done, what I’m doing, is monstrous.

[vtforpedro]

medical/life stuff - TWs in tags

hnnnnn this is long sorry I've got a lot of stuff going on and none of it is good lol beyond getting my third covid dose and flu vaccine, I guess. did those three days ago and only had mild fatigue and arm soreness this go around worried about actually getting covid from the pharmacy tho cause they didn't require masks and it was really busy hahahaha and so many people were coughing and sneezing and no one was social distancing hahahaha I am always scared of going anywhere, even to see my PCP, because of covid. it's my life now and has been since covid got to the US. I've only been this scared after going to the ER, truly hope I don't get sick. but looking forward to another year of fear either way anyway. have some abdominal stuff going on and there could be benign reasons but it hurts a lot. luckily I finally have my appt with an actual GI in two days. he's the same doc who did my colonoscopy/endoscopy. sooo we know I'm good from that procedure but when he presses on my guts and I react in Pain™ I'm a little afraid of what he might suggest lol 😩 also have some lady stuff going on that started a couple of weeks ago. I actually had an appt with an OBGYN scheduled so I could talk about getting off birth control since it's a leading (potentially) contributing factor to literally everything that's wrong with me. I canceled it because delta has gotten so bad and then of course my lady parts are now being weird. so I am going to reschedule in a few weeks once the vaccine is at its best cause I am also 1.5yrs behind on a pap also thanks to covid s i g h also! my leg muscles are atrophying. so that's really fun and exciting and I guess I get to set up an appointment with my pcp to figure out 🙃 what 🙃 I fucking do about it 🙃 because I can't do PT!!!! I can hardly do any physical movement which I assume is causing the problem because of my neuro shit, which is also not fixed and probably never will be idek how to process seeing my muscles shrinking in my legs. I'm trying not to think about it too much before I see my doctor but it's scary. it just is I don't know what else to say about it still in a weight plateau. trying to be kind to myself with reminders that I am stretched as thin as I can go and have new, awful stressors every fucking week (which makes me snack when I'm in breakdown mode and not on the good stuff, even if I'm sticking to my calorie budget) so it's not shocking weight isn't coming off. it still is, but at the most glacial pace. it's taken three months to get 9.7lbs down. should be at 15+. still really hoping I hit my big goal (just 10lbs away!!!!!!) before the end of the year I don't know if upping the dosage of nerve pain meds has helped or not because my IIH stuff is episodic now. my new neuro was actually willing to put me on the med no one else wants to without a lumbar puncture cause I am describing obvious elevated pressure in the brain which is causing expected IIH symptoms and he's not a moron. which is nice of him but I also don't want to be on it because it's not without moderate to severe risks? most people end up getting off it within a few weeks or months but hey at least he fucking believes me and said yeah it's prolly IIH but I can't diagnose you without the LP but let's cautiously treat it as IIH I've had two appointments with my psychologist now and I ...... like him....??? but also I don't??? he's fine personally, I think, but I have my doubts already about how he's going to be able to help me professionally. thinking of just calling it quits now and finding someone who takes my insurance so it'll be one less worry. I want to work on trauma and I feel like $150 was completely wasted last week so that's a red flag, right? lol finding a decent therapist is so fucking hard and I wish it wasn't my lease is up in mid-february so I will get a renewal offer no later than early-mid december. it's gonna go up over $400 lol four people have moved out in my building in the last month because of the increase. I paid $680 for this exact same apartment (before renovations but I barely

count them because they're cheap af) when I moved in and it's on the market for $1650-1720 now. makes me feel physically ill my mom can't afford it. she tells me she can, but I truly do not believe it. she says it would make her crazy trying to find somewhere else because I can't move in with her while my brother lives there, because I'm so disabled living there wouldn't be feasible for so many reasons, because I absolutely cannot stress Isis out (who had to go to the emergency vet again. but she's ok) or introduce my two cats to my mom's three cats, one of whom has FeLV. either way tho it's the disability!!!! I am trapped in my own apartment by my disability lmao my mom's friend wants to put me in his rental house but that's just too much. I can't have this giant upheaval in my life both physically and mentally. but I live and suffer in agonizing guilt every single day of my life because my mom pays for this apartment, which wasn't awful when I stopped working, but they've raised rent from $900ish to $1720 in *three years* it's insanity. I cry about this often because I can't move, my mom keeps telling me we can't, and not to worry about money but she's only saying that because it's impossible to leave I am so beyond stressed. this isn't counting what I went through with two (2) pen tablet companies to try to get a working fucking tablet so I could continue my commission. took 15 days but now I can work on art again. it was a nightmare september and october have been nightmarish months in every possible way actually lol rent wouldn't be *as* terrible if my disability claim got approved, but I would be shocked if not only it finished before early/mid-december, but if I get approved at all. and even if I do, every dollar would be going to rent and it wouldn't even be HALF OF RENT. I hate it here I hate this country I hate how it treats disabled and poor people I hate it hate it hate it hate my life too. I can't help it. I hate all of this and it feels like every time I'm begging the universe for a break it keeps throwing more shit at me instead. idk how to have hope anymore but that's been true for a long time now I suppose I have to be careful about how much/how hard I cry. a good hard cry no longer eases the tension but builds up insane pressure in my skull. I can't even cry for a release anymore like come on. it's a joke guys my life is just a joke now I had realllllllly hoped by the end of this year, after starting to lose weight in january, I would be telling you all that my IIH was cured. I shouldn't have hoped for anything at all p.s. I went back a couple of posts and realized I already talked about my neuro and the meds, sorry for saying the same stuff. I can't remember anything and I don't know what time is anymore

[junosswans]

I watched Incantation on netflix a few nights ago and phew!! That was something!!

I do think it has a rather cliche plot that's heavily inspired by a few horror video games, but a lot of the paranormal activities featured are quite fresh to see and I enjoyed plenty of the ideas about how the curse manifests.

I also liked how direct the violence is, like when the curse made people hurt themselves it looked really painful lol.... Like, I admire the dedication and the acting. Yep.

I'm personally not a big fan of the kind of documentary format this film took, cause it can make the timeline very messy and the director had to be very skillful to show how the events were recorded in a realistic manner. But I have heard how a loooooooot of people loved that and there are also an impressive amount of people who for real thought they're cursed. Rip I guess xD

I think it's a rather refreshing film compared to the mainstream US horror movies, so though I don't think it's the most terrifying film out there, I would still recommend everyone to watch this Taiwan film with small budget but wonderful practical effects!! I think it would be rather enjoyable to Western viewers.

(spoiler below cut)

I really liked the part where the mother had to hold the hand of something she couldn't see and lead it out the room like damn that's indeed creepy. Also when the kindergarten lady tried to swallow the hot melted glass, like ah... That's terrible....

I also liked the flashing words and the visual games the film included, I think that's very creative as well, and its the first time I've seen films use this technique (games/visual novels yes, but not films). It does get quite dizzy though!! I imagine it would be extremely scary if I saw it in the cinema.

A ton of body horror in this film, I didn't like some of those (like rotting skin and the empty head) since 1 gross and 2 they're rather old at this point, those are like on the top of the 2010 "keywords you will regret googling" list xD but I did like some others, like the extra teeth and earcutting part. Not for the faint of heart!!

The film sort of has an idiot plot, but I think it's not the worst :P. The poor father, he totally got dragged into all of this shit when he just wanted to be a good (foster) parent. Very little sympathy for the mother tho /v\ and the "twist" in the end didn't really make sense when you think about it but it's not terrible either. Like you usually wouldn't want to argue logic with horror films so.

All in all I think it's a decent film and would be a good one for a bunch of friends to enjoy together, maybe yell at the screen tgt. I watched it on my own so it felt kind of dry at one point, and I imagine it would be more fun to have someone to watch it with.

[into-control]

Into i need help. I bought a oculus quest 2 right and i tried to connect it to my laptop and it wont work so I realized i needed and actual pc gaming setup you know, problem is idk anything about PCs and i dont wanna get scammed. Can you help me? Ive looked online and idk wtf im looking at tbh. Can you give like advice and shit lol 😂 love you into 💕

well i'm not a professional at pcs by any means but i've always had a huge fixation on them so i can try to help as much as possible and i'll even try to put it in simple terms. fair warning, i talk A LOT in this post because i love rambling about computers :') i tried to use the simplest terms possible since you seem confused but if something doesn't make sense just ask and i can try to reword.

it all depends on what you want out of your pc. and do you want to build one or get a prebuilt one? if you want my advice i recommend building one. getting a prebuilt pc is the easiest way to get scammed because retailers tend to overcharge and they think they can get away with it because they stuck a flashy high end graphics card and colourful lights in it even though it has shit airflow and they cheaped out on the motherboard and power supply or something like that. if you're going to get a prebuilt pc make sure you look at allll the specs and consult some online reviews to see if they're any good, and figure out if you're going to be overcharged. now i'll talk about building one. a lot of this will still be useful if you're considering buying a prebuilt though.

the very first step is deciding your budget. idk where you are but in USD the typical amount to spend on pc parts is i think like $1000 - 1500 (you can spend less but that's if you don't have a lot of money to spend and are still desperate to have a gaming pc). i'm spending around $1700 CAD (before taxes, eugh) on mine bc i want to get into more demanding games eventually. it sounds very costly but computers like these can last you a decade and are very multifaceted. figuring out your budget first instead of going right ahead and buying stuff is important because each component should take up specific percentages of your budget. another important thing to consider when deciding your budget is if you want RGB (the colourful lights as previously mentioned), because components with that capability are slightly more expensive.

after deciding your budget, your first move is deciding what graphics card (GPU) you want. the GPU is responsible for processing and presenting the visuals on your screen. theoretically it should take up between 35 - 40% of your budget because it is the powerhouse in a gaming system. you have two developers to choose from here: NVIDIA or AMD. from what i've seen people tend to prefer NVIDIA but AMD cards aren't bad and they definitely compete in performance. i'll talk about nvidia though because that's what i know more about. by searching up the oculus quest 2 system requirements it tells me you at least need an nvidia geforce gtx 970. this card came out in 2014 and is by no means bad however it is actually the same base price as a lot of newer cards. if you want to go better than the minimum requirements, first consider what your monitor is capable of. if you don't have one yet, consider what you want it to do. monitors are not considered a part of the budget i keep mentioning by the way. idk how much this matters to you since we're talking about the oculus quest 2 but i'm just kind of assuming you're going to use this pc for other games too. the main two things to take into consideration are max resolution and refresh rate. my monitor has a resolution of 1920 x 1080 and a 144hz refresh rate. what the resolution means is that there are 2,073,600 pixels in the screen, and can go up to a resolution of 1080p in video games. the refresh rate means the monitor can refresh the picture on the screen 144 times a second, therefore can show a max of 144 frames per second in a video game. to put that in to perspective, most screens have a refresh rate of 60hz, such as regular laptop screens, iphone screens, etc.. monitors come in mainly 60hz, 75hz, 144hz, and 165hz, and for resolution they mainly come in 1080p, 1440p, and 4k. seeing as i don't have any plans on upgrading my monitor any time soon, dropping extra money on a GPU that can achieve more than 144fps and 1440p/4k would be pointless. but forget about the monitor, the oculus quest 2 has a max refresh rate of 120hz and its resolution lies somewhere between 1080p and 1440p. if you know what kind of games you're going to be playing, look up how they perform with different kinds of cards. i'm fairly certain anything above an nvidia geforce rtx 3070 would be pointless because of your display limits, and anything below the nvidia geforce gtx 970 simply won't be enough for the system. you can look at all the GPUs ranked here. after deciding which GPU you want you need to figure out which brand of it you want (NVIDIA themselves, asus, gigabyte, evga, etc), because they all perform at slightly different levels, although the difference is usually only a few frames so it's better to save money. something to watch out for is the quality of the fans in the GPU because if they aren't good, it will overheat and underperform. i'm aiming to get a 3060 or 3060 ti, if that helps. the only problem is that there is currently a worldwide GPU shortage due to covid, tariffs, and the cryptocurrency mining boom (gpus are used in bulk to mine). fortunately there is currently a crypto mining crackdown happening in china, where majority of mining in the world happens, so the demand for GPUs will hopefully start going down soon. you wont be able to build your pc right away but the market is looking better than it has in awhile. this is just about the only argument i have in favor of getting a prebuilt pc, because they have GPUs in them and are more readily available. i don't think that's a good enough reason though especially since part of the reason i'm building my pc is because it looks fun lol. another thing to note is that you should not overspend on your GPU. the shortage has caused a lot of GPU prices to skyrocket into the $2k-3k range but none of them should be above 1k except the highest end ones. when deciding on a GPU, search up the manufacturer's suggested retail price (MSRP). cards made by brands other than AMD and NVIDIA will almost always cost a little extra, but do not pay hundreds of

extra dollars. but anyways!! the GPU is now out of the way and is definitely the longest paragraph here because it's the most important part.

next up is the central processing unit (CPU), which you should be spending about 20 - 25% of your budget on. its job is essentially to retrieve instructions from the RAM and execute it. i suppose you could call it the brain. again you have two developers to choose from, this time between intel and AMD. i've had two laptops with an intel CPU and my current one has an AMD CPU and both are very good, however the general consensus is that you can get the same performance for less by going with AMD. CPUs have cores, and each core can run its own process. the more cores you have, the more your pc can think about basically. you can get CPUs will all sorts of amounts of cores but for gaming, 4 or 6 cores is all you really need. 8 is actually already a bit overkill. so you really don't need to get the best CPU out there. the one you get should depend on what GPU you get (hence choosing that component first). you don't want to bottleneck your GPU by getting a CPU that isn't good enough for it, but bottlenecking your CPU with the GPU by a small amount isn't as big of a deal because the goal is to allow your GPU to be used to its full ability. another detail about CPU is clock speed, which determines how quick it can complete tasks. the higher the faster, obviously. my (non gaming) laptop's CPU clock speed is 2.30 GHz and has 4 cores. the cpu i have for my build is the AMD ryzen 5 5600x. it has a base clock speed of 3.7 GHz but it can be maxed out to 4.6 GHz, and it has 6 cores. the oculus quest 2 has a minimum requirement of the AMD ryzen 5 1500x or the intel i5-4590, which is a little low on the performance list. but like i said the CPU should depend on the GPU. all it takes is a google search for which CPU goes best with the GPU you've chosen and you can find several answers depending on if you want the best possible performance, best budget performance, etc.. a nice little fact about choosing AMD over intel is that most AMD CPUs will come with a stock cooler, which is absolutely necessary otherwise your CPU will overheat (this is another thing prebuilts will cheap out on). this only adds to the whole price-to-performance thing. the stock cooler will most likely do unless you push your pc or want the build to look prettier.

next on the list is a motherboard, where all the parts come together in unity. you should spend 8 - 10% of your budget on this baby. it's easy to over and underspend on a mobo. the most important thing when it comes to choosing a mobo is that it supports your CPU. you cannot use the same mobo for intel and AMD CPUs. fortunately the product page will straight up tell you which CPU brand the mobo is meant for and will typically have two versions of the same board. it's important to note that motherboards don't always have onboard wifi, meaning it wont be able to connect to the internet via wifi and instead needs an ethernet cable or an external wifi adapter. if you can't get an ethernet cable to the room where you want your pc, you're going to need onboard wifi, or a wifi card/usb. onboard wifi mobos tend to be more expensive so it's up to you, but i personally bought one with wifi included so i wouldn't have to worry about it because our ethernet cables are in the basement and i'm upstairs. another very important thing about motherboards is that their BIOS version (operating system i guess?? idk how else to describe it) doesn't always support your CPU out of the box and must be updated before using it. this can present as a problem if you don't have another CPU to perform the update with, however some motherboards allow you to 'flash' the BIOS with a only usb drive as long as it's hooked up to power. there are plenty of step by step youtube videos about how to do this. i will have to do this with my motherboard when the time comes because it doesn't support ryzen 5s out of the box. don't let this deter you from getting a certain board as long as it has a BIOS flash feature. next up is what I/O ports you want, which are the ports (usb ports, headphone/mic jack, hdmi port, etc) you'd find on the back of any desktop computer. that is the side of the motherboard. basically just be aware of how many of each ports you want, and remember that there will probably be even more ports on the front of the case you get. the last thing i can think of right now is making sure your motherboard has all the headers (where you plug components in) you want it to have but i'll get to that later.

next up on the list is RAM, aka random access memory. this stores short term data. the amount of RAM you have kind of determines how much your pc can multitask. RAM sticks typically go up by some multiple of 2GB. most standard laptops and desktops nowadays will come with 8GB of RAM, which is enough for day to day use. it can be enough for mid and low end games however it cuts it pretty close most of the time. 16GB of RAM is the sweet spot for gaming and anything above that is pretty much overkill (and once again a waste of money) as long as you don't have a billion unnecessary background processes. a large amount of RAM is typically needed for video editors or computer programmers. you should always make sure your motherboard can support the amount of RAM you want although any good motherboard will support 64GB or even 128GB. the best option is to get a 16GB RAM pack, which will include two 8GB RAM sticks. splitting RAM between two sticks will increase efficiency. this is called dual channel. i also recommend getting DDR4 RAM, which is simply faster than DDR3. a good speed to have is around 3600 MHz. make sure your motherboard supports DDR4. you also want to be weary that your RAM is compatible with your CPU brand because they do have to interact for your pc to function.

next is storage. there are three-ish options here depending on how much you're willing to spend. generally you should spend 8 - 10% of the budget here. you can always get a good ole hard drive for the cheapest, however they are the slowest and physically biggest option, meaning whatever you put on it will take a bit longer for your pc to retrieve and open (they can load about 100-200MB of data per second). the next option is a solid state drive. they are a little more expensive but can load as much as 600MB of data per second and take up less space. the last and most efficient/expensive option is an m.2 nvme drive. these things are physically absolutely tiny and can load up to 4GB of data per second. anything you put on these will open very very quickly. the fairly standard solution for this is a combination of two of these three. personally i'm using one m.2 drive and one hard drive. the hard drive i have can store 2TB while the m.2 drive can only store 256GB. funnily enough these two drives are roughly the same price. the idea here is to install your operating system on the faster drive. this makes it so it only takes like 8 seconds tops for your pc to start up. you can also put any other programs you use most often on there (like your main browser and favourite games) and they will open very quickly, while the bulk of your games and other files will go on the bigger drive. that's all there really is to say for storage, just make sure the reviews are good on the drive you want to get, but that goes for any component.

next is your power supply (PSU). very very important to not cheap out on this. 6 - 8% of the budget should go to this. the function of the PSU is to do exactly what its name implies: supply power to all the components. this is where the website pcpartpicker can come in very handy. not only does it help you build a list of parts that are all compatible with each other, it will also estimate how much wattage you will need to run your pc. 600W is usually enough for a normal gaming pc. PSUs are ranked, and you should never really go below a bronze ranking. you can also choose between non-modular, semi-modular, and fully-modular PSUs. non-modular PSUs have all the cables permanently attached. this can be desirable to people who are confused by what cable is plugged in where but also undesirable as unused cables cannot be removed and make cable management harder. fully-modular PSUs come with the cables all in a separate bag so you choose which ones to plug in. semi-modular power supplies have the necessary cables attached and the rest can be attached need be. it all depends on preference and how much faith you have in yourself. i have an 80+ gold certified fully modular 750W PSU because the thought of unnecessary cable management makes me sick lol. corsair is pretty much the most trusted brand for power supplies. be careful because this is another place prebuilts will cut corners.

now for the case! this one isn't overly difficult to choose and mainly will just appeal to your aesthetics. it's less important to stick to a precise percent of the budget for this one but you also don't want to spend more than 8%. do you want a black case? a white one? do you want a glass side panel so you can see inside your pc and admire your hard work? besides that, you also need to make sure the case is big enough for your motherboard, GPU, and PSU. most info pages for cases will tell you the max size of the GPU and PSU and what size of mobo it's meant for. you also want to make sure there is a place to put your storage drives (unless you only have m.2 drives which are installed on the motherboard). you also want to make sure it has optimal airflow abilities. a case with no airflow will cause overheating. the best ones have mesh fronts and tops to allow cool air to be pulled in and hot air out. it's even better if you can get a case that comes with fans in the front, because they are what pulls that cool air in.

next is the CPU cooler, which i briefly mentioned. if you don't get an AMD CPU then you'll need to buy a separate cooler. you can choose between air coolers (a fan and a heatsink) or liquid coolers. i don't really have much to say about them and i recommend doing your own research on liquid coolers lol.

last but not least, case fans. like i said a lot of cases will come with front fans and also an exhaust fan at the back, however you might want more, or even replace the ones you already have with better ones. pay attention to how many fans your case manual says can fit and plan accordingly. check out reviews to see if the fans you want are quiet and efficient. if you buy a three pack of case fans there is a chance it will come with a fan hub. this makes it easier to control all of them in sync because the hub will connect all the fans to one header on the motherboard. generally 3-6 fans are pretty good for a gaming pc. two or three in the front pulling in cool air, one at the back and two on the top to pull out hot air.

now that i have all the components out of the way i'm gonna talk about RGB lighting. numerous components that i've mentioned have the option of including LED lights to make your pc brightly coloured, which is always nice if you have a glass side panel on your pc. it's an extra bit of money but i personally was willing to sacrifice that because i want to show off my build lmao. motherboards, RAM sticks, GPUs, CPU coolers, and case fans are the main components that can come with RGB lighting. you can also get special LED strips and power connectors designed for PCs. if you decide to go for RGB lighting, do try to stick to one RGB ecosystem, meaning make sure all the RGB components can be controlled by one program. RGB is controlled by your motherboard. for example if you get an asus motherboard you'll probably want to use their program, aura sync. most components can be controlled by any brand's program however if the motherboard itself has RGB lighting it can only be controlled via its own brand's program, along with the GPU. if you want RGB case fans you really have to make sure your motherboard has RGB headers (the thingy on the motherboard where you plug the fan's LED lights into). most motherboards will only have two-ish RGB headers so if you're going to buy a bunch of fans make sure they come with a fan hub, which lets you plug them all into one header on the motherboard. also, never sacrifice performance for RGB. specifically when it comes to GPUs. if you have a choice between a GPU with RGB and a GPU without RGB, always take the one that has better performance (given it's within the parameters i mentioned earlier).

that's all i have to say :) if you couldn't tell i really love this stuff. i will also recommend you watch youtube videos about this, you can see the build process and the reasoning for using each component, and also tips on what to do and what not to do. i hope this helps and wasn't too confusing. i know you said this is mainly because you got an oculus quest 2 but if you're going to get a gaming pc you should definitely consider games outside of the oculus too.

[wkemeup]

What about the time reader says I love you for the first time and it's not very good timing and they dont see each other for a bit after she says it and she's worried she messed up?

+ anon request of “At what point do they say I love you cause I feel like they’re both already half way in love with each other by the time they leave the airport lol”

Im With You - Masterlist

“Doll, I really gotta go,” Bucky laughed, one foot inside the taxi, the rest of him leaning up and over the door as you kept your hands gripped into the collar of his shirt. He giggled like a kid on a playground as you pressed kisses to his nose, his cheeks, his forehead, his lips. Neither of you minded as the taxi driver impatiently blared down on the horn.

It was hard to let go of him knowing he’d be leaving for two weeks to visit Rebecca at Oxford. He was so proud the day she’d called and told him she’d been accepted to their graduate program, he’d shouted the news to the entire café at near eight in the morning, startling an old man into spilling his tea down his front. Bucky had apologized profusely, bought the man a new drink and scone to make up for the mess, but he was giddy with pride, whistling and grinning to himself, for the entire day.

Six months had passed the graduation and things had been better between Bucky and his sister. They texted once every few weeks, a short exchange here and there, simple questions about Bucky’s job and whether Rebecca had started packing yet. They were mending something that had been severed for years. It would take time. They both knew that.

But this was a good step.

“Sweetheart, stop it! I’m gonna miss my flight,” Bucky warned, trying to pull away again, though he didn’t put much effort into it. He was usually the one fighting for affection, pulling you into his arms on the street and kissing you until strangers turned away awkwardly. He liked the attention and wondered if he should travel more just to see this side of you again.

“Okay, okay,” you conceded, letting go of his shirt and he fell into his seat with a huff. His hair was messy from where your hands had run through it and he had that blissed out kind of look on his face that made your stomach twist to knots. You closed the door behind him and tapped on the roof of the taxi.

Bucky rolled down the window, resting his forearms on the frame as the driver switched on the turn signal. You stepped back to the sidewalk, giving him a short wave.

“I’ll call,” Bucky promised. He looked like a damn dream.

“I know you will,” you replied, arms folded over your chest as you smiled back at him.

The taxi started to pull out into the street and you missed him already. Bucky mouthed a last goodbye, his voice obstructed by the shout of the cabby as he cursed out the driver next to him. You laughed, following the few feet down the sidewalk to be with him just a little longer.

“Just fly safe, alright? Have fun for me,” you laughed, shaking your head at Bucky’s attempts to hold a conversation with you from his window of the taxi.

“Won’t be possible without you!” He was practically screaming. His driver looked about ready to toss him on the street.

“Goodbye, Bucky,” you teased, shaking your head as you started to back away. “Love you.”

Bucky's smile fell away in an instant. Face falling into shock. Eyes wide. “What?”

You raised a brow. You couldn’t hear him. A bike zoomed past you, keeping you from walking out to the curb. “What’s wrong?”

“What did you just say?” he called over the rush of traffic, then turning to the cab driver to get him to pull over but it was too late. The cab disappeared into the flow of cars.

Shaking your head, you pulled out your phone at the soft vibrations in your pocket, Bucky’s face illuminated on the screen, when a sudden heavy force slammed into your side, sending you spiraling to the ground. You fell with a thud against your left hip, turning to find a jogger in expensive running gear sending an apologetic grimace over his shoulder as he pointed at his watch, a signal that he needed to keep his pace and couldn’t bother to stop to help you.

You rolled your eyes, trying to find your footing again when you realized your phone had been thrown from your hands. It was a few feet into the street, but it appeared unharmed. Bucky’s name was still lit up on the screen. The slight wave of relief was short lived until a Tesla drove right over it as you took your first step off the curb, its horn screaming at you.

Your phone was in pieces.

Well, shit.

You thought about running upstairs to grab your computer before realizing Bucky took your laptop to the Apple store a few days ago after it started displaying the blue screen of death. With no access to your phone or social media, you’d just have to hope whatever he was so concerned about wasn’t a huge deal. You’d get your phone sorted out in a few hours.

Hopefully you could track him down before his flight took off.

-

Later, after you’d spent an hour sitting in the lobby of the cell store, waiting for your turn, you started thinking back to your goodbye with Bucky, wondering what had set him off. You’d been teasing him. It was hard to hear over the horns of the traffic and the pedestrians around you, but you were certain he’d known you were joking with him.

He said he’d call.

You told him to be safe. Have fun.

He made his corny jokes.

You said goodbye and then...

“Shit!” you gasped, hands clamping to your mouth as a mother quickly stood from her seat next to you carrying a three-year-old now repeating the curse word on a loop. She glared at you and you couldn’t hold it together enough to offer an apology.

You’d told him you loved him.

You'd known for a while, felt it almost before you’d even boarded the plane back to the city that first weekend, but you were never supposed to tell him like this. You were going to wait a few more months, when it felt like a reasonable time when most normal couples who met in a perfectly average way would have said that sort of thing.

Not as he was driving away to board a flight to London for the next two weeks.

“Oh, God,” you whined, sinking into the chair, remembering the look on his face, how his smile had fallen away, how shocked he’d been. You pinched at the bridge of your nose, your cheeks hot with embarrassment, and you tried to make yourself as small as you could manage.

It didn’t work.

“Y/n?”

You glanced up to find an employee in a red shirt calling your name. She offered you a sad smile as you hulled yourself to your feet. The look on her face was warning enough.

“It looks like we’re going to need two weeks to get the parts for your phone,” she said.

You nodded. Of course.

“You’re welcome to use one of our other devices in the meantime.” She gestured to a wall of phones, all of which were priced at rentals well over your budget. You didn’t have the spare funds to be wasting on the parts for your phone, let alone another phone entirely.

“N-No, I’ll manage,” you said dejectedly. You’d lived without a cellphone once in your life. You’d been a kid in the age before children had iPads and touchscreens were considered the peak of technology. You could get through this.

Until you realized you didn't know Bucky’s number. Or Steve’s. Or anyone that could possibly get you in contact with him once his plane landed in London. You wondered if he’d still try to call only to be met with your voicemail or if you’d freaked him out enough to keep his distance. You wouldn’t find out, you supposed. He had no way of reaching you until he got back.

-

It was the day Bucky was supposed to get back.

You had spent the past two weeks in constant anxiety. There had been a few times you thought about tracking down Steve at his place, but you couldn’t remember the address or how to get there. How had you become so reliant on a damn phone?

So, you sat on your couch, staring at the wall. He’d go straight home, you were sure. He'd be exhausted from jetlag and the itinerary of sights Rebecca likely dragged him and his mother on. You’d seen her email detailing the trip before he left. He'd been so excited.

You were about to go downstairs to check your mail again, hoping they’d shipped you your phone by now, when you heard a sudden pounding on the door that forced a skip in your heart.

“Y/n?! Please tell me you’re in there! Jesus— open the door.”

Bucky?

You found yourself paralyzed, terrified to even stand. The pounding continued.

“Come on,” Bucky called and you could the crack in his voice, the panic. “Don’t do this to me. I gotta talk to you. Please be home. Please be home.”

You swallowed nervously, standing on wobbling legs as you made your way to the door. He was still knocking on the other side, calling out to you and you could hear your neighbors shouting at him to quiet down, but he didn’t let up.

The moment you unfastened the deadbolt, he silenced instantly. A squeak in the floor meant he took a step back and you slowly opened the door.

He stood in the frame; dark circles under his eyes and his luggage down at his feet. He was out of breath.

Then, unable to take the tension, you boke spoke at once.

“You didn’t answer my calls.”

“A Tesla ran over my phone.”

Bucky paused, confused. “Wait-- what?”

You took a deep breath, twisting at your hands nervously, avoiding his eyes. “A, um, a Tesla ran over my phone after you left. I’ve been waiting on a replacement but the interim phones were too expensive and you took my computer to the shop earlier this week, so I haven’t been able to get ahold of anyone and I’ve been--”

“Oh, thank God.” Bucky engulfed you into his arms, causing you to stumble back a few paces into your kitchen, but he held you steady. His nose pressed in tight to your neck, arms constricting at your waist. “You weren’t picking up when I called and I thought—I thought you didn’t--”

He didn’t finish the thought.

“You did mean it, right?” he asked slowly, pulling back just enough to see your eyes. He was searching you, scanning you, but you couldn’t speak. “Tell me you did. I’ve been going crazy, doll. I almost got on a flight back about seven different times but my ma kept trying to tell me I was being nuts, but I— I couldn’t stand the idea of you not knowing I love you, too.”

“You what?” The air left your lungs, Bucky’s face still nuzzled in tight to the crook of your neck, his words slightly muffled by the cotton of your sweatshirt.

He pulled back slightly, just enough to see your face. There was a kind of relief in his eyes as a heavy breath left his lungs. He brushed a hair away from your face, thumb tracing delicately over your cheekbone.

“I love you,” he said again, so calmly, so sweetly, it ignited a storm of fireworks and butterflies in your stomach. “Please tell me I wasn’t hearing you wrong because I’ll start feeling really damn stup--”

Lips crashed to his, hands curling tight into the lapel of his jacket, as close as you could manage to get him. He smiled against your lips, the soft vibrations of his laugh warm against you, and you melded to him. It was where you should be.

Only after your lungs were tight without air, you pulled back, pressing a kiss to his cheeks, the corners of his mouth, his nose, his jaw, until he was laughing and smiling wide enough for it to wrinkle by his eyes.

Bucky wrapped his arms around your shoulders, holding you close. “So, does this mean--”

You swatted his arm, kissing him again, before you said what you’d been waiting to since the day you boarded the flight back to NYC, hand in hand, without the weight of your insecurities on your shoulders, a burden he’d helped in lifting.

“I love you, too.”

—

Ok folks that’s the end of this lovely series! I’ve so appreciated the love and support on my first real attempt at fluff ♥️ I hope this sustains you through the next one shot I plan on posting (hint: it’s titled A Twice Broken Man) and my next major series about undercoverFBIagent!Bucky infiltrating Hydra 👀

[1zashreena1]

Diego Requests an Audience -1

18+, m/f, technically OCxDiego Jimenez [Power]

Summary: Princess gets the rich bad boy equivalent of a call the next day from what she thought was a fairy tale of a one night stand.

WARNINGS: Ridiculous descriptions and 'the code is more like guidelines' outlook on grammar. Is it OOC if the character was given essentially zero development in canon???

Mentions of drugs/alcohol use, no actual smut in this one but references to multiple forms of sexual activity with m/f dynamics, plus size woman+fit man, early stage sugar daddy vibes, bad boys with too much money and not enough impulse control, secondary OCs, excessive swearing (???), illegal business dealings... I mean, its DIEGO

A/N: Princess took on a life of her own and has essentially become an OC. There are infrequent mentions of her description (specifically as plus size) and her actual name in later pieces (its Bicki). She started as self-insert so she looks like me. If that is not your thing, I totally understand. And do not feel obligated to read this, I will not be offended!

I'm not a fan of "plot" so be aware that most of this series is just meandering through their relationship, angst-fluff-smut whiplash style. But with dick jokes.

Constructive criticism is always welcome. I'm an old timer at Fandom but a baby content creator.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE read @chelsfic Princess pieces first, that is the beginning.

https://chelsfic.tumblr.com/post/613340476058304512/princess-for-1zashreena1-diego-jimenez-x

https://chelsfic.tumblr.com/post/618297838815920128/princess-awakes-diego-jim%C3%A9nez-x-reader-ficlet

Last thing before Murder Panther, I promise!

Huge, tremendous, throbbing THANK YOU to @chelsfic​ !  My fanfic creator mommy, I could not and would not have done this without you or your devious reverse psychology  You're gonna have to thwack me super duper hard with a rolled up newspaper to get rid of me because ily.

Massive shoutouts to @symbiont13​ @rosee-sensuelle​ @bunnykjm​ @mandoplease​ @nicke0115​ (y’all know what you did)

You're sitting in your car on your lunch break listening to the same song for the seventh time in a row because that is a thing that you do. When you like something, you like it. The song has pounding bass, if you close your eyes you can almost imagine being in a club. You never did get to do much of that, your twenties were spent working two jobs and sleeping in your car sometimes, so your just passed birthday weekend escapade was really something else. You've never done anything like that before and it was-

Ding-DING

Your phone chirps with a text message from an unknown number. You peer at the screen with a furrowed brow, I don't know anyone in California, must be a wrong number. You open the message cautiously, who knows what kind of weirdness it might be. 

Good morning Princess

What. No. There is no way. Absolutely not possible. Un uhh. Nope.

You should come back to NYC. I want to have you again.

Holy fucking shit. Its really him. It's Diego. Its Diego of the big brown eyes, even bigger hands, and absolutely the biggest cock you have ever seen. Diego viciously-gorgeous stupefyingly-rich incredibly-dangerous exhaustingly-insatiable Jimenez. 

Whom you most definitely did not Google upon your return home only to discover that he is an international criminal. Yeah, he's criminally hot.

You really do wish that little voice in the back of your mind was helpful. 

Yes, but he was nice to you. Really not helpful. How many times did you even come that night? There was the bed, the floor, over the back of the sofa, the kitchen counter (which he referred to as 'snack time' because he ate, and wasn't that adorable), and then that kiss/invasion of your oral cavity before you left. After he made you breakfast. And gave you a pair of Ugg boots that were magically in your size because it was cold out. Okay, so he was REALLY nice.

Wait. I didn't give him my number, what the fuck.

Hi Diego

And you hit send before you can stop yourself. What in the actual fuck am I doing?

I knew you remembered me. 😉Come up here this weekend. I want you

He wants you. He said it himself. Oh my god oh my god oh my god. Like, want-want? He saw you naked in broad daylight so he definitely knows what you look like. I want you, your mind just keeps repeating it. Hold up, is an international drug lord, cartel boss, top ten FBI most wanted man texting you with emojis???

I hadn't really budgeted on another trip so soon

Is that too much? Are you revealing your pathetic poor-ness and he definitely will not be into that?

Please🤚 Do you want to come?

Oh lordy, but he knows exactly how to word things. 

… I mean, yeah. Preferably repeatedly

Okay, yes, you've always been a pervert but something about this man only encourages you. Surely it wasn't how he laughed every time you made an innuendo. 

Then I've got you 💵😙 Princess👑

Do you want a hotel or stay with me?

Harrisburg is your nearest airport, yes?

Never before in your life have you had cause to use the word 'Baller' but here you are. Is he seriously going to fly me to him? Am I seriously going to go? What level of booty call is this?

Penthouse. Spoil me 😏

And yes Harrisburg. What are you going to do, fly me up there?? Lol

At this point you might as well see how far you can milk this. Also, apparently he knows where you live?

...yes. I have a private jet. I'll text you the info. We're going to have fun little girl😈

Well damn. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You send the entire conversation to Lisa in three screenshots. She calls you at 4:37 while she knows you're still in the car and you spend the entire drive home screaming together as best friends do. 

"I can't believe him! A private jet? Oh my god girl, you better bring home some stacks!"

"I know! Like, what the fuuuuuuuuuck! Lisa, Lisa, oh my god, Lis, what the hell should I pack?! Oh no, oh shit, I don't have any sexy pajamas!" Your high is coming crashing down. Its Tuesday, so you have two whole days to figure this out.

Her laughter is so loud it makes your speakers crackle. "After what you told me from that first night it sounds like you better pack a case of lube and an ice pack!" She dissolves into hysterics.

Well, she's not wrong. "Dude! I was so sore, I couldn't walk for days. This shit is BYOIP: Bring Your Own Ice Pack!" Lisa shrieks while you howl with laughter. 

"Okay, okay. Meet me at Macaroni Grill and we'll formulate a strategic plan of attack over carbs. We have to go to the Frederick's of Hollywood outlet." Lisa is already crafting a plan. 

"See, this is why you're my BFF!" You proclaim before you whip across three lanes of traffic to change course. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You take way more clothing than you could possibly need for a weekend but better safe than sorry. The private jet looks like it came straight out of a music video, you're afraid to even think about how much this costs. Hell, he even paid to have your car valet parked in the only locked and guarded parking garage at this tiny regional airport. There are all kinds of snacks and drinks on the plane, there's even a tiny galley and what looks like a daybed. Noted for later.

The driver who picks you up at the airstrip in New York is Bastian and he is pleasantly surprised that you talk to him. You're pleasantly surprised at how nice Escalades are on the inside. The last time you were in this vehicle you were a little, ahem, distracted.

Diego is extraordinarily pleased to see you wearing the Ugg boots he gave you. The man is all growly innuendo and (mostly) gentlemanly manners, the contrasts are mind-meltingly hot. The weekend passes in a blur of a good time; orgasms, a stroll through some really expensive stores, more orgasms, two clubs on Saturday night, another set of orgasms (Did I really let him finger me in a VIP booth??), your first time trying weed, a sleepy orgasm in a jacuzzi tub (Wet Diego, so gorgeous), the best brunch of your life, another first by having orgasms while on top of a man, and, just before you leave on Sunday evening, a very nice Brahmin purse that you gawked at in one of the stores on Saturday. 

Yet again, Diego corners you by the elevator and attempts to climb down your throat before you're allowed to leave. You have no complaints.

~~~~~~~~~~

The very next Monday you get an extremely sweet text very early in the morning thanking you for coming (all puns intended). Wednesday brings a cookie bouquet to your front door with a note stating that you don't seem like a flowers kind of girl. Incredibly early on Saturday morning is another text, he sounds like he might be a little drunk, confessing that he wants to do it again. 

You forward the message to Lisa with your own addition:

Look, all I'm saying is I'm gonna take this top shelf dick and all the gifts that come with it for as long as he wants to give it to me

It only progresses from there.

[ts-unsolved]

Final Wrap-up for Chapter One

((since chapter one will be coming to a close shortly and there is still an assortment of questions left over, here is a masterpost of responses to queries that couldn’t be addressed during the story! 

[reminder: the ask box will be left open, however the characters are not available. please keep in mind that non-plot related questions will not be answered by the characters after this post.]

Anonymous said: ((Just wanted to tell you your drawings are so pretty and I love ur blog. That is all I have no braincells to ask questions))

Anonymous said: OKAY MOD I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW I LOVE THIS AU SO MUCH AND ITS SO COOL AND GOOD AND YOUR ART IS TOO!! sorry for caps I’m just excited

Thank you! Sorry I didn’t always get around to answering asks like this, but for every one that was sent in, I appreciated it with all my heart. You guys are angels 💖

Anonymous said: What is one haunted location you guys would really like to visit someday?

Poveglia is definitely the highest on the list for the notoriety alone, although they would likely never get the permission to go (the history in general is almost excessively horrible and tragic, so nothing good would come out of doing an episode there. Maybe it’d be good as a final-chapter type location? 🤔).

@anxious-fander-bean​ said: Hey Logan, have you ever tried swing dancing? It's really fun and good excersize! There's also a lot of bouncing and upbeat music, so Patton might enjoy it as well! ((I'm doing it. I need the qpp boys to be happy and have fun, bc they deserve it.))

(LOGAN: I’ll...consider it.)

You did it, you got them to go on some good ol’ platonic dates! B)

Anonymous said: I feel bad that I don't have any deep question or something along those lines, but what's your favorite thing to bake, Pat? - 💐

That’s alright! Questions don’t have to be deep to be fun/interesting. 

(PATTON: Cupcakes! You can make so many different flavors, and there are tons of fun ways to decorate them!)

@why-should-i-tell-youu2 said: Why cant anyone else see the seal?

You need to have The Sight to be able to see demon sigils. Patton has this ability naturally, and Dee has it because Elliott taught it to him. Otherwise, Virgil and Roman would be the closest in terms of gaining this ability, but a scared/skeptical part of them is holding them back. 

Anonymous said: My good dorks, is there a way to, I don’t know, get a better/more effective charm for your office? One that costs more than $10? -🍁

Anonymous said: Hey, Logan, potential naturalistic explanation for ya: depending on what the charm was made of, shifts in ambient room temperature could have caused minuscule expansions and contractions in the material that would eventually crack the charm. Do I believe my own explanation? Absolutely not. Am I grasping at straws for a non-supernatural explanation? Absolutely. And ambient room temperature doesn’t even begin to explain the red symbol around the charm

(LOGAN: Our budgeting is already a mess as it is, the last thing we need is to waste more funds on decorations. And that theory seems much more reasonable than the contrary explanation.)

Anonymous said: Is the demon that Pavreen summoned the same demon that possessed Elliott?

Anonymous said: Welp Virge SUMMONED A DEMON- (Why do I have a feeling Remy was the demon that possessed Elliot-)

Nope, they’re all different demons! The demon that Parveen summoned is notoriously difficult to contact, so a bunch of teenagers wouldn’t have been able to do it. Likewise for Remy; you can only summon him once you have his True Name, and he’s already destroyed most references to that (sorry Patton).

Anonymous said: omg omg omg what part of mythology is remy part of???

He’s not from any particular mythology, but he is partly based off of Alps from German folklore and the general mythology around sleep paralysis!

Anonymous said: Can Patton see supernatural beings like ghosts and demons and stuff? I just think it would be interesting if his scars make him able to see them :3c

Anonymous said: If both Dee and Patton can see the sigil, and Dee can see ghosts, does that mean Pat can see ghosts too? With the whole red glowing thing (forgot what its called) it seems to be connected.

Yes he can see ghosts/demons, and you’re right that the scars (or rather the deal with the demon which gave him his powers and scars) are what lead to him being able to do it. The red is just a general indicator of something supernatural/not of our Realm.

Anonymous said: Wait so if Patton and his family all have that mark could that mean Patton is not completely human 👀 -🌈

I supposed you could say that Patton’s not entirely human because he’s a witch who was born without a soul, but he’d find that pretty offensive tbh.

Anonymous said: Are Elliott and Patton maybe related, even distantly? Also, roman needs to suck it up and have Feelings for the Snake Man

There’s no relation between Elliott and Patton. Elliott is the child of a seer and a psychic, Patton is the son of witches. They’re similar, but different. (Also you’re assuming that Roman hasn’t liked the Snake Man since high school, but considered him off-limits because he’s his brother’s best friend).

Anonymous said: Does Patton know that Dee can see spirits and does Dee know that Patton is protecting them all?

Anonymous said: Dee, pat, do you know that each other can see the sigil? 

Anonymous said: is ... is patton a witch and dee a dee-mon and that's why they don't like each other.....?

Anonymous said: Pat what do you think about making deals with demons?

They’re both aware of each other’s secrets! Technically they’re both doing their best to protect everyone, but that doesn’t mean they agree with each other’s methods or bond over the shared responsibility. 

Patton is indeed a witch, and Dee is a regular human who happened to summon a demon one time. Patton thinks Dee is the occult equivalent of a satanist, which he disagrees with because dark magic is unnatural/dangerous in his eyes (making deals with demons only leads to trouble!), and would prefer Dee not endanger his friends. Dee doesn’t like Patton because of his perceived moral superiority, and finds the way he can be so secretive and two-faced creepy 

Regardless, they’re both sitting in glass houses and have more in common than they think.

Anonymous said: Patton Should Hug Dee *

Maybe. But he won’t. 8′D

Anonymous said: Since Dee has been able to see ghosts for a long time, was he an open believer in ghosts before Elliot died? Since it was mentioned that the reason he lies about his belief is because he knows that they're dangerous, he wouldn't have had a reason to hide it in the past. And if he did are any of the others aware of the belief change? Well, besides Remus. I'm guessing that one is pretty obvious.

He may have been more involved as a believer in the past, though that doesn’t mean he was ever super open about it. He was aware of how it would look like to outsiders (being genuinely skeptical at one point himself), so he wasn’t going to paint a target on his back by talking about ghosts and demons and things most people can’t see.

Of course, that didn’t stop people from stereotyping and making those sorts of assumptions about their friend group anyway, but no one besides them really knew about their secret-- not even Virgil.

Anonymous asked: What would happen if one time, the gang ended up getting something supernatural on camera?

The result of that would depend on the being. Ghosts can kinda appear on camera, although it’s very rare for them to appear as a full bodied apparition, which is why they usually only manifest in spirit orbs or light/shadows. Poltergeists are better since they’re able to interact with objects, but likewise since they can’t manifest into a physical form they can easily be brushed off. Demons and other miscellaneous creatures will straight up not appear if captured directly on film; you’ll simply get video glitches and distortions.  

So essentially, they may technically have found something already, but capturing evidence that’s also compelling is a lot more difficult than you’d think. I imagine there’s a good chance that anything legitimate wouldn’t get taken too seriously because of how easy it is to fake evidence nowadays.

Anonymous said: Okay so a little bit of a rant but not really ig but imagine the ladylike and unsolved crossover for this AU like I can see it as like Thomas' friends dressing up Roman and Dee in style and seeing a blushing mess and maybe flirting going on because of how good the clothing complements each other but this is kinda a weak idea lol

It’s not a weak idea at it, it’s really cute! (though I may just have a soft spot for the Ladylike cast and crossovers). 

The only thing to note is that I’ve chosen not to include Thomas’ friends in this AU because I personally weird about writing fiction about real people? (I was on the fence about including character!Thomas for a while too, tbh). So, apologies to anyone who’s sent similar asks or wanted to see any of Thomas’ friends; they wont be around!

Anonymous said: Did Dee and Remus ever have that talk Dee said he would try to have a while back????

They might have gotten the opportunity to chat back when Remus came back to help shoot the Room 1046 video. It wouldn’t have been a complete reconciliation by any means (dealing with years of baggage in one sitting is Hard), but now Remus is aware that Dee is open to discuss things again at some point in the future, so progress!

Anonymous said: wait wHAT?! When did he (Emile Picani) die?? Give us the deets oh wise one

Anonymous said: emile is... dead? what happened?

I see y’all, but unfortunately you’re not getting any answers from me just yet! You’ll have to wait until the next chapter~.

Anonymous said: Shit is about to go down and I am worried about the next ghost "adventure"

:) Don’t Worry About It.))

[aw-eather]

Heather Watches SG1: s1ep4 The Broca Divide

On todays episode of Heather doesn’t have anything better to do with her time and wants to re-watch episodes she’s seen 8 times/in the last 2 months, I will be rewatching Broca Divide and giving my thoughts in the form of dot points. It makes me laugh, it makes you laugh apparently and its just a bit of fun. I will try and put these all in one place at some point so we can find them all. 

Warning: I don’t like Daniel in this episode (or most for that matter) so if Daniel is your fave, look away!

Really pretty shot of the mountain

dress blues fuck

they look so good

like really fucking good

Sam is like “sir did you just sass the General?”

she just rolled her eyes at him and did the little grin when he joked about the names being too complicated she’s so cute and adorable

Jack looks really really good

Like they both look so fucking good in those dress uniforms 

I have a thing for uniforms apparently 

but they both look good in dark blue its not my fault

Sassy Daniel

Silly Daniel (not my perscription)

Silly Jack making Sam smile (why doesn’t the MALP have one of these?)

I love them already

She’s so young.. such a baby space hero

FLYBOY

my cuppa tea is STRONG i messesd up

Night vision cam

Whomp they got jumped 

Yeah shooting works too

They were PEOPLE, Daniel.  Come on, i was starting to like you

CREDITS

I have VERY strong memories of waking up as a kid and walking past a tv that had been left on and seeing these exact opening credits when I was a kid. 

AMANDA YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL

especially that shot of them coming through the gate with the purple sky, I strongly remember that. 

Does Daniel ever know whats going on/what it is/where they are/what it means? 

I also call it rape and agree we should stop it fuck you Daniel, wtf?!?!?!

I don’t care if you think its how pre historic men mate, its fucking rape you ass hole what the fuck  This isn’t a prehistoric time, you didn’t time travel, you can interfere. How Sam did not deck you at all during the last two episodes is BEYOND ME 

The Untouched. 

ooooh sun

JACK AND SAM BEING ADORABLE AND JOKING AROUND STOP MY HEART I LOVE THEM

I remember when my friends and I watched this and we were joking about how Jack went grey really quick and @allofthecaffeine said it was because he had to parent Daniel. I died

Scruffy Jack looks SO FUCKING GOOD WTF

he is so aesthetically pleasing honestly

Jack stop being sarcastic

Daniel stop

You’re not gonna find out why now either, Daniel. No body cares about the bulls.

I mean I kinda wanna know but not the point

Thats a lot of yes sir from Daniel, sto being a tit. I know you wanna look at this shit but its not what you’re actually there for babe. 

Daniel stop interupting ffs shut up

Jack wake up honey

Uh oh

Marine looks unhappy 

Sam’s little smile I love her

Jack doesn’t sound happy but he will be. He will learn to love his scientific girlfriend and their archaesologist son

“please release me, Lt. Johnson” Teal’c is everything. He’s the best. I love Teal’c. 

Makepeace being Makepeace

Teal’c just stops the punch with one hand like its nothing lol “I would prefer to not hurt this man” lol 

Daniel helping Sam out cause he’s a good friend, kinda sweet

Jesus those poor guys 

Sam rushing to help because Sam is the best

oh FUCK 

LOCKER SCENE

OH SHIT

TANK TOP

WE ALL DO

TANK TOP

NO NOT LIKE THIS JACK O’NEILL DID YOU JUST ADMIT TO HAVING THE HOTS FOR YOUR 2IC?? 

CAUSE I MEAN SAME BUT YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO

TANK TOP

HE PUT HIS FACE VERY CLOSE TO HER NECK THERE FOR A SECOND FOR NO REASON, HE WAS THINKING ABOUT IT

I wonder how many times they thought about hooking up in locker rooms after this... 

just a thought

poor Sam is always getting tied down to be... I am gonna choose not to finish that sentence

JANET

JAAAANNNNEEEEEETT

LOVE OF MY LIFE

LIGHT OF THE SGC

TINY DOC AS I CALL HER

love the explination of the iso rooms like we needed that info

she looks sso good

she eserved so much better

excellent observation hun, I would never have guessed

strongest offspring huh

JACK GETTING DEFENSIVE ABOUT SAM

SHE SCRATCHED HIS NECK MY GOD

FUCK OFF DANIEL “YOU POOR MAN” GET FUCKED

SHE’S NOT YOURS TO CARE ABOUT 

OH SHIT JACK HE DIDN’T QUITE DESERVE THAT MUCH OF A BEATING YET

LEAVE THAT UNTIL S8

JANET

SHE IS SO PRETTY STOP IT

I MISS HER

Had to pause cause my mum’s making coffee and my kitchen/lounge are one room

So how we all doing? 

My aunt has turned up to use my oven because its better than hers

I might not get to finish this yet fam 

I’m back 

I got lunch

“never seen anything like this on earth” honey you are dealing with ALIENS

Of course you haven’t!

Why you explaining the names, didn’t y’all have a debrief. 

MR TEAL’C STOP IT THATS SO UCKING CUTE jANET NO

First of many new plaugues, Hammond, don’t stress. This is just a normal day in the office for you

Janet’s hair is so bouncy I love her

Poor Jack

He’s having a rough day which isn’t unusual but its rough

Hammond stop stressing, you will be FINE

JANET’S S M I L E

I love her so much she deserved the world

Just the two of us suck it UP DANIEL 

Once more unto the breach

Thats a great episode of Sanctuary actually. One of my faves

“we dumped them in a small room” lol Teal’c you the best

Daniel ffs 

Guns again

to be fair they’d frighten me off. P90 is a big fun

so I guess it checks out

uh oh daniels been taken

what a shame

Oh Hammond poor thing

Aww even like this Jack is adorable 

RDA sure is a good actor just saying

lol neck scratches ;) 

Sorry I’ve said it like eight times but Janet is so, so beautiful. 

Permanent brain damage? Sounds like a normal day in the office for these Space Babies

Always the hero, Jack

AW he touched her face

STOP IT I LOVE HER SO MUCH I CANNOT BREATH I’M GONNA C R Y

i love the language in SG1 and all the Goa’uld words

Poor Teal’c. They were v rude to him

YAS TEAL’C BEAT SOME ASS SO PROUD OF YOOOOOOU

GET THAT BLOOD

To be honest, I would have left Daniel behind but apparently we don’t do that... so 

SAM NO

POOR BABY

LIGHTLY STABBED

POOR SPACE BBY

MR. TEAL’C JANET STOOOOOP I CAN’T 

lots of big words Janet, stop with the big words

more big words

of course he’s sure, he’s Jack, he wants to help everyone... 

well... not everyone but thats fine

LUCY I’M HOME

I AM NOT LUCY

Oh for crying out loud count is at two this episode 

the gate spinning is their entire budget lets be honest

SAMMY

As if Daniel would be d...i guess he’s usually dead, isn’t he? Never mind 

“Daniel you dog, keep this up you’ll have a girl on every planet” WHERE IS THE LIE

WHY IS EVERYONE ATTRACTED TO DANIEL WHEN JACK IS RIGHT THERE I DO NOT UNDERSTAND 

More bulls

I love this guys crop top 

also those blues are really pretty

Daniel is gonna need a new uniform, thats ones a bit ripped up

S C I E N C E 

“There’s our boy” SEE HE IS THEIR CHILD

Aww those little happy grins 

he looks so pleased

OG MY GOD

YES YOU DO REMEMBER

HOWS THE WOUND

WOUND

GOT STABBED IN THE STOMACH

THERE WONT EVEN BE A SCAR

GOOD. i WAS WORRIED YOU’D NEVER WEAR THE TANK TOP AGAIN

I N N A P R O P R I A T E 

I N S U B O R D I N A T I O N

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH JFC ITS BEEN 4 EPISODES AND I CANNOT HNDLE THEM

stop flirting with your 2IC but actually never stop

marry her

Final Thoughts

Janet is the light of my life

she deserved the world and was paid dust

fuck the powers that be

how dare they

this episode is so cute and fun

but semi-serious

but like... fun?? IDK i really like Broca Divide

prescious babies are precious

they love each other so much already

TANK TOP!SAM

DRESS BLUES!SAM

DRESS BLUES!JACK

ok i’m done

Alright friends, lemme know what you think of this episode. That was fun, I love it so much. Its so fun jumping back from s4 Atlantis (where I’m currently up to) to watch s1 SG1 Sam because she’s such a baby and so precious and now she’s a LEADER bless her 

[shima-draws]

Okay listen I really really enjoyed The Wonderland/Birthday Wonderland a LOT but there’s definitely like. Huge chunks of stuff that are missing from the plot that I would have loved to see;; SPOILERS AHEAD BEWARE

First of all let me say that this movie definitely would have worked better as a TV series. Why? Because the world itself is MASSIVE. There’s so much worldbuilding shit going on that they only got to touch a little bit of each section, and left so many things open ended. And then there’s the fact of the plot itself that leaves a lot of holes behind and unanswered questions.

Rest is under the cut so ya’ll can avoid spoilers if you so desire:

What the fuck happened with the sweater contest? They make it out to be such an enormous, important part of the plot that literally ends the moment Akane hands the sweater over. We see her protectively guarding it the entire journey to the city, and yet it’s never even touched upon if the sweater wins the contest or not. What happened bruh?? I want to know if it won, a lot of unnecessary screentime went into the development and story of that sweater! Don’t leave me hanging!

“Our world is dying”, Hippocrates says, as the majority of the land is still thriving pretty okay from the looks of it. Aight. There’s lots of gorgeous visuals in this film that are made clear through the gift of water that they’re living--and apparently there isn’t even enough water to go around for humans to drink. At that point literally everything else would be dried up, right? There is literally a giant pond--GIANT! With koi fish right outside the city. They just gotta learn to distribute their water better;; it’s a shitty system tbh lmao I mean there’s plenty to go around. They just don’t bother to try spreading it evenly, which is why some places are flourishing while others are not. They really should have spent more time showing how people are suffering from this rather than showing the remaining gorgeous parts of the land--that would have made the impact of saving that world that much stronger, made the stakes so much higher. If Akane had seen how bad it really got without water, maybe that would have driven her character development earlier on, and made it more significant.

Akane’s change. It felt...really...anti-climatic. Or maybe just rushed. It was a sudden, minor sort of thing that when I realized I was like “Oh, okay, she’s already come to the conclusion that she can be strong on her own, but I wanted to see that?” They didn’t execute it super well. It feels like we’re missing an entire scene where Akane finally breaks through her fear to gain courage and make her own choices. There was definitely a bit of that right before she made her grand speech to Zangu, but there was nothing that prompted it. The whole movie is a coming of age story for her, building up until the moment where she has her great breakthrough and is able to be confident with herself. But...they don’t show that. We don’t get to see that moment. I don’t know why, because it’s the most important thing of the entire film? They really could have handled that better.

I really wish they touched more on Midori’s involvement;; she was so minor I almost didn’t catch the connection between her and the previous Goddess of the Green Wind. I like that Akane feels closer to her because of this, but we never really get anymore information than that. How did Midori end up in Wonderland so many years ago? Was she a reluctant hero type like Akane, or was she determined to save the world? Did she meet Hippocrates way back then, or was it a different alchemist that lead her on an adventure? Was something wrong with the prince at the time which required her presence in order to make sure the drop rain ceremony went well, just like Akane? I don’t know! I want to know!

The ending was SO abrupt and short. Literally right after Akane and Chii get back that’s it bam roll credits movie over! I’m like. Whiplashed by it. I wanted to see how they were affected by the journey (besides Chii immediately going to take a nap which fandjksad MOOD), and how they’ve changed from their adventures. We obviously see a huge change in Akane at the end, but how does this affect her life in her own world? Does she start treating her friends differently? Does she ever make up with the girl she abandoned in order to be in the popular group (which is another huge thing they never came back to). Is she more determined to do things now, to be confident? Is this a change her mother notices? At least show the impact of what they went through;;

Halfway through the movie we’re introduced to a London-type city that’s really...not so fun looking. Dark, gloomy, and depressing, with obvious signs of poverty, where everyone looks angry all the time. It’s a very very clear outlier in the colorful Wonderland. I’d love to have seen more history on this city...why is it so different from the rest of the world, and so dark? Why do all the people seem so unfriendly, when those outside of its walls are generous and kind? How did this city come to be? It’s such an enormous mystery that they never talk about, besides hinting that this was where the prince had ended up once before he became Zangu.

Speaking of the lovely prince. I know we got kicked in the face with his backstory (and that shit hurted, this poor baby who also kinda deserved it but not to THAT degree), but I would have liked to see even more. Maybe I’m biased because he became my favorite character the instant his identity was revealed, idk. (And, to me, he feels way more fleshed out and rounded as a character regarding his development than Akane does, which is another reason why I like him best.) But while we were given his motivations in becoming Zangu, the personality difference between Zangu and his regular princely self is IMMENSE. I really don’t think the prince would have ever committed such acts--he may be a little shit and have a lot of anger issues (which, valid, I mean his parents died and he suddenly has all these huge expectations on his shoulders and he’s. He’s just a kid man, that HAS to be traumatic) but I really don’t think he would ever strike against his own people or openly threaten them. Sure, he’s definitely shown to be prone to angry outbursts, and is fond of pushing everyone who cares about him away, but he’s not purposefully malicious. And as soon as Akane transforms him back, he calms down immediately and becomes immensely selfless and heroic. So: why the enormous change of heart? I think something that could be canon that they never really mentioned is that, when he was transformed into Zangu, he became sort of a puppet. A lifeless doll without any real empathy, and the only emotions he could feel were a burning anger and a desire for revenge to those that wronged him and made him feel pressured to perform the drop rain ceremony. Being trapped inside a body like that probably just made those feelings escalate, resulting in all of the crimes he committed and all of the people he hurt. (And maybe they did touch on this but I just don’t remember since my memory is garbage lol)

Going off of that, I know this is the type of story where we follow the hero characters, and as soon as Chii and Akane made it home that was it, we weren’t allowed another peek into the Wonderland. But...what if we were granted that opportunity? Could we have gotten the chance to see how things changed after they left? Perhaps the prince began a journey traveling to all of the towns and villages he terrorized, and apologizing to the people. Maybe Ron starts to train under Hippocrates just like Pipo. Maybe the rain washed away all of the sorrow in that lonely city, which caused people to start to change it and make it brighter. Change, change, change! I want to see proof of Akane’s help! 

Why the fuck did the other alchemist/sorcerer (I forget his name and there’s no info on him anywhere MDAKMASD I’ll update this when I find out later) do that to the prince?? That was SERIOUSLY fucked up. “Oh yeah, to punish this child for being naughty and angry after his parents died, which is actually perfectly reasonable, let’s turn him into a doll where he can’t MOVE OR SPEAK and let him sit there in absolute torture until I feel like setting him free again, instead of trying to find an alternative way to confront him about his anger issues”. Dude;; No wonder he was so fucking angry and bitter when Ron finally allowed him to speak again. I would be too! Trapping children in naughty doll prison is not the answer!

I’m trying to think of more but I think I covered most of it :’) If ya’ll have anything to add, please do!

Like, overall, the movie was GREAT. It would have been even better if they didn’t shove so much information into it that ended up becoming irrelevant later on. It felt as if they were trying to cram a TV series into a movie, trying to cover all of their bases but failing. There’s just so many things they left open-ended and unanswered;; and you know me, I’m a slut for lore like this so I want to know EVERYTHING. And I only got little bits and pieces of it. I really would kike to know if they just cut out large portions of the movie to fit the time limit and the budget;; because that would make a lot of sense, because it feels as if I was handed a puzzle without all the puzzle pieces.

[theguineapig3]

Tales of Symphonia Headcanons: Elves, Humans, and Dwarves

I was chatting with @rainbowkittyblossomwings recently about headcanons for different Tales races, and mentioned that I have very complex headcanons about the races from Symphonia. Since it's a lot, I figured I'd put it into a tumblr post for posterity. This stems from my interest in hominid evolution and, like, Star Trek and stuff.

According to the game's backstory, elves arrived at a "dead planet" via Derris-Kharlan and terraformed it with the Great Tree, creating the world we know as Aselia. They then moved to live on the surface of the planet "with the humans who evolved there." But- wait? If the planet was barren when they arrived, where did the humans come from? The fact that humans are genetically close enough to elves that the two can produce viable offspring suggests that they are part of the same evolutionary lineage, likely the same lineage that gave rise to Dwarves. In this essay, I support the following headcanon: Dwarves and humans evolved from two distinct waves of early elven migration from Derris-Kharlan during the early stages of terraformation, and are therefore better adapted to the Aselian environment than elves, which retain the physical characteristics that result from long-term spaceflight.

(Disclaimer: I’m about to talk like I Know Shit™, but this is all headcanon territory. I’m not trying to pass any of this off as canon, lol. It’s just for fun and giggles. Sources for actual science are located at the bottom.)

Elves and the Impacts of Space Travel

Elves in the Symphonia universe are typical of elves in most modern high fantasy- described as having tall, slender bodies that are significantly less muscular than humans. However, Symphonia is relatively unique in that it paints elves as a space-faring race, traveling through the cosmos on the comet-turned-spaceship Derris-Kharlan. The idea of an interstellar spacecraft being constructed within a comet is not completely unheard of, even in real life (Starr, 2019). While the game never hints at how long Derris-Kharlan voyaged before reaching Aselia, our knowledge of the vast distances of space- and the lack of evidence that Derris-Kharlan is warp capable- suggests that it was at least multiple generations, even for long-lived elves. Derris-Kharlan has its own gravity, but because of its size, that gravity would be lower than found on a proper planet. And that low gravity would definitely affect the residents.

Even with real-world humans’ limited time in space, scientific studies have already recorded effects of space travel on the human body. The lack of gravity in spaces causes, among other effects, loss of bone and muscle mass (Nasa; White, 1998). These are only superficial changes and typically can be reversed once the person returns to Earth, but the low-gravity environment of Derris-Kharlan can still provide a logical explanation for the tall, slender build of elves. Over multiple generations, the lack of gravity-based stresses on their bodies might allow them to grow taller and preclude the need for significant muscular development. The elves of Derris-Kharlan, as spacefarers living in a low-gravity environment, could devote their energy toward mental (and magical) development.

The Terraformation of Aselia

Terraformation is a complex process that depends heavily on the environment being terraformed. Temperature and atmospheric pressure are important components to consider, in order to establish an environment where oxygen-producing organisms can survive (Zubrin and McKay, 1993). In the case of Aselia, we can assume this was accomplished by the Great Tree, which provided the mana that plants and oxygen-producing microbes such as cyanobacteria would need to survive. Once these oxygen-producing organisms are established, oxygen will slowly build up in the atmosphere until it reaches levels high enough to support larger organisms. This gradual process would take multiple thousands of years or not more- though that’s no big deal to long-lived elves who had already spent millennia traveling across space. However, it’s unlikely they would wait until the very end of this process to begin colonization of the surface. 

Dwarves: the First Settlers

It’s likely that early colonists of Aselia might have come to the planet long before the surface itself was liveable. Perhaps these were explorers, sent to mine for mineral resources on the planet that could be taken or sent up for use on Derris-Kharlan. The still-thin atmosphere would provide little protection from solar radiation, forcing these settlers to live underground for their own protection. A thin atmosphere also means that the planet would be unable to trap incoming heat, making for a particularly cold environment. The need for high respiratory capacity and effective temperature regulation would lead to a short, robust body, similar to characteristics observed in fossils of real-world neanderthals (Churchill, 2006). All these characteristics seem to coincide with the characteristics observed in Aselian Dwarves- short, stocky bodies with large chests, underground living, specialization in metalworking and mineral resources. The difficulty in surviving in the harsh, pre-terraformed environment would have led to the unique culture of Aselian Dwarves, such as the need for strict moral codes like the Dwarven Vows. 

Despite these significant differences, the Dwarves’ underground homes allowed them to retain certain characteristics of their elven predecessors, such as their longevity. The diminishment of human lifespan is likely due to other factors experienced during a later period of colonization.

Development of Humans

Humans likely developed from a middle period of elven colonization, once the atmosphere developed enough to protect living organisms from near-immediate death from solar radiation- though not total protection from adverse effects. These humans would retain much of the elven anatomy, except with shorter, more muscular builds due to the higher gravity they encountered on Aselia’s surface. The high metabolic demands of magic use would quickly make elven magic detrimental to humans who were only producing enough food to get by, explaining the lack of magical abilities in humans. As for the relatively short human lifespans in relation to elves and dwarves, that can likely be attributed to the effects of radiation penetrating the still somewhat thin atmosphere. High-level exposure to infrared and ultraviolet radiation can result in premature skin aging (Cho, 2009), so the effects of high-level exposure over multiple generations might explain why humans age so much faster than elves once reaching adulthood.

The Myth of Elven Superiority

It’s difficult to say exactly why some groups left Derris-Kharlan earlier than others. The early groups who were sent- or volunteered- to face the harsh conditions of early terraformation may have been lower-class citizens, commoners rather than the upper class who stayed in the safety and relative comfort of Derris-Kharlan. This may have contributed to the Elven myth that those who retain the characteristics of their ancestors are “superior,” more “genetically pure” than humans and Dwarves. The retention of magical abilities is an indicator that their ancestors never struggled to find their next meal, their long lives an indicator that their ancestors never faced exposure to excess radiation, their slender builds an indicator that their ancestors had little need for manual labor. In a sense, they celebrate the fact that they are not adapted to their environment and spurn those who faced hardships that forced them to develop better adaptations. In this context, it would seem that the elves’ xenophobia is rooted in a sense of classism. Now, even though they must work harder to support themselves in a world they are unadapted to, they still retain that “1-percenter” type mentality.  

Half-Elves: The Missing Link?

The knowledge of elven evolution into humans raises the question as to the origins of half-elves. Are they representative of an evolutionary link between the two? Based on the half-elves we see in the story, this is unlikely. Modern half-elves are not an intermediate stage, but a hybrid resulting from the interbreeding of the two modern groups. If paleontologists discovered fossil evidence of elf-human evolution, they would probably find that these intermediate people had features distinct from the half-elves they know. Half-elves are not a “missing link,” then, but a relatively recent bridge between the two groups and a distinct group of their own that continues through to Phantasia’s time.

(OKAY, I’M DONE; THAT WAS REALLY LONG, OOPS)

---

Cho, Soyun et al. (2009). "Effects of Infrared Radiation and Heat on Human Skin Aging in vivo." Journal of Investigative Dermatology Symposium Proceedings, pp. 15-19.

Churchill, S.E. (2006). “Biogenic perspectives on Neanderthal thermoregulatory and activity budgets” Churchill, S.E. Neanderthals Revisited: New Approaches and Perspectives.

NASA (N.D.) "Muscle Atrophy" PDF, retrieved 2019-07-24.

Starr, Michelle (2019). “Astronomers Have Analysed Claims 'Oumuamua's an Alien Ship, And It's Not Looking Good.” Science Alert. 

White, Ronald J. (1998). “Weightlessness and the Human Body”  PDF, retrieved 2019-07-24.

Zubrin, Robert M. and McKay, Christopher P. (1993). “Technological Requirements for Terraforming Mars.” American Institute of Aeronautics and Astronautics. 

[thots4daze]

im bacck

boo no cell service out there

raccoon eyes an all jeez it was too fucking hot I was dying ... had some minor chest pains dont kniw what that was all about... probably a combo of the drinking last night and the more drinking today in the hot hot suuun it was a no bueno

the baby's had fun I think ... she was awake for most of it so I'm guessing that was good. Imma take it as a win lol so there.

OHHHH I rode an elephant they feel so different than I thought they would but it was still kickass... a lil nerve racking but meh so cool すごい

Baby z got to "ride" a pony. Her pawpaw was holding onto her as he walked around the lil covered area where the horses were being lead. It was cute. I only caught a glimpse cause this is when I had the chest pains so I was in the shade. Hubby took pics tho~

ALSO ALSO was going to buy a new longer skirt for my costume to go with my corset yrah? Nope didnt happen... mainly cause I only looked in 2 stores outta the hundreds and they were all outta budget SO INSTEAD

YA GIRL GOT A BELLY DANCER-ISH ENSEMBLE WHAT WHAAAAAAT?!

Totally gotta try it all on probably tmro cause I'm gross and sweaty and just ... no . Lol so expect some pix on that later this week??? Maybe idk

BUT I GET TO LOOK HOT WHILE ITS HOT AS BALLS OUTSIDE WHOOP so excited lol

Anywho~ hope y'all's weekends were kickass and may the the rest of your week be filled with awesomeness like y'all!!!

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

okay, y’all, i’ve gotta back on my tl;dr bullshit soapbox about something:

so, the other day, i was just mindlessly scrolling through my corporate & capitalist hellscape facebook™️ (i.e. LinkedIn) and came across this totally trite mostly bullshit meme that was shared by some corporate executive search man (whose name i decided to crop out bc eh):

so i obviously agree with the last three points on this list, bc god yes my life would’ve been a bit better if I didn’t get all my dialogue about mental health only from teen mags and horrible portrayals in teen tv shows (and also this hellsite). and hell yeah everyone, and I mean EVERYONE needs to learn that failure is okay many situations (like failing a class in uni or school) bc everyone fails at something sometimes. and dealing with failure is HARD. and time management is something that I’m pretty sure everyone lies to fuckin hell about on their resume, bc lots of people really suck at it, myself included. so yeah. that needs to be taught. and i also agree with the “how to manage your health” point. bc thats becoming ever more prevalent and important with career burn out etc.

but entrepreneurship? people management? conflict resolution? creativity? how to manage money? public speaking? like y’all. three of those ARE taught/learned in school, who the fuck wrote this meme? 

for anyone who actually paid attention in maths class, (which is probably very few people outside of the top performing classes), there WAS A WHOLE FUCKING UNIT that focuses on financial maths (in australia anyway). I ignored this unit as well as maths in general at school, bc I generally hated maths and was convinced that I was somehow never going to get a job. but i remember the gist of the overall topic and its subtopics. one subtopic teaches you how to calculate your wages in various contexts (overtime, double-time and a half, holiday payments, im pretty sure maternity leave pay was jammed in somewhere? idk if other countries would have double time & a 1/2 like australia though). another subtopic teaches you how to calculate interest on bank loans and credit rates on credit cards. a third subtopic teaches you how to calculate savings (obvs in terms of discounts in shops)....im sure there was a bit about budgeting in there somewhere? im pretty sure there were some questions were about tax payments somewhere as a subtopic enrichment exercise? but you get my gist. are these not money management skills? in some sense? like if i could find one of my old maths textbooks or old maths books i’d give an example of a question, to make my point stronger. but the problem, like i said before, is that a load of people (myself included) just zone out in maths in high school and stop trying with it. they forget what they’ve learnt, and just remember how much they hated algebra and how they’ll never use it again. maths was one hell of a fucking strong bitch, guys. but maybe i’m wrong.

creativity? excuse me? have people forgotten about art classes? drama classes? english classes? music classes? need i go on? okay don’t get me wrong, most of these classes did focus a lot on memorising quotes or facts about people (artists/writers/poets/composers/dramatists etc) or specific  periods/movements in art or theatre or literature for example.... but the amazing sculptures/paintings etc people created in art for their final projects in year 12, or even in year 10 were works of their imagination. the scripts people write in drama or maybe english (if you had a fun teacher who did a screenwriting unit, for example) are creative asf. especially in year 12 when they do their major projects, where they may produce a monologue or a short movie, and then there’s a group piece. drama students might even make their own costumes for these performances. LIKE AIN’T THAT A LOT OF CREATIVITY RIGHT THERE Y’ALL????? and english. lowly old english. THEY HAVE A WHOLE FUCKING TOPIC ON CREATIVE WRITING FOR FUCKS SAKE. the original music people might create for their final projects too in year 12? does that not count as creativity? like yes, i know a lot of these things do still have to meet bs assessment criteria (especially in catholic schools, where the main things are you don’t offend the catholic education office and jesus/god lmao) to be considered worthy of a mark for your year 12 exams. but FUCK. HOW THE FUCK AREN’T ANY OF THESE SUBJECTS COUNTED TOWARDS BEING CREATIVE???????? like fuck your corporate creative ideation or w/e bullshit, Callum. drama and english even lend themselves to improvisation in some instances, like public speaking, which is examined further, below.

next, we move on to public speaking. this shit is basically taught from the first goddamn day of “show & tell” in kindy/kindergarten, and this fucker has the gall to say that it’s not fucking taught in schools? someone call in miley cyrus/hannah montana to throw the fuck down in this motherfucking hoedown BC THIS STUPID-ASS MEME-FUCKER HAS NERVE. i hated public speaking. absolutely hated it. even though it was ironically one of the places i ended up excelling in in english classes. even when i fucked up in my english speeches with like “oh, fuck.... said nelson mandela,  i’ve seem to’ve lost my palm card. wait, shit! there it is... excuse me while i pull it out of my ass. whoops, sorry miss” *bats eyes and finger guns at my year 9 english teacher who has her head in her hands and is done with my shit, while the class laughs at my gaffe* i’d still end up with like 73% or like 26/30. it was baffling. but for people who weren’t the class clown/smart alec like i was from years 7-10 (and like i actually wasn’t once i moved schools).... public speaking is like the leading cause of anxiety, right? like by the time i got to doing speeches/presentations at uni i was having panic attacks... the thought of presenting to my classes made me fucking sick with fear and anxiety. nearly every subject i did at uni (even when i tried to avoid subs with public speaking assessments) and throughout school had some type of presentation/speech whatever you want to call it project/activity in it. even fucking SPORT/PDHPE at school and even philosophy at uni. and these fuckers are saying its not taught in schools. FUCK  OFF. like yeah, i get that they actually mean it in the professional sense.... where people can give the sappy bs motivational speeches or an insightful ted-talk worthy 20-minute presentation... or a great sales pitch. but like??? save that for mike “my dad phoned in to EY and i have a job waiting for me after uni” mcfuck in a business major or law degree? or for clubs like toastmasters? fuck. ok enough of the skills we learn in school. let’s move onto the businesslike-sounding ones of “people management”, “conflict management” and fucking “entrepreneurship”. like. what the fuck? okay in some sense people management and conflict management could potentially be used in managing friendships and relationships in your personal life. but like. i can feel the business underpinnings and i dont like it lmao. like why do you want fully functioning adults straight out of school, franklin? and there’s extra credit conflict management subjects at uni??? or at least my home uni had it... and i never did them bc they were intensive courses during summer break lol. but the one that pissed me off the most was entrepreneurship. LIKE ARE KIDS NOT FUCKING ALLOWED TO BE KIDS NOW????? well  apparently: “NO! YOU MUST ALWAYS THINK OF MONEY MAKING WAYS TO BE RICH! YOU MUST BE ENTREPRENEURIAL!!!!!! YOU MUST GENERATE BUSINESS IDEAS FROM THE TIME YOU CAN FUCKIN’ WALK!!!!! AND SPEAK!!! CHILDHOOD AND BEING A TEENAGER DON’T EXIST WORKER BEE!!!! CAPITALISM FOR ALL!!!! WORKER BEES!!! CAPITALISM IS YOUR FRIEND!!! OWN A BUSINESS BY THE TIME YOU’RE 8 YEARS OLD!” like it’s insidious asf. and it doesn’t acknowledge that most entrepreneurs are already privileged people anyway, who usually have some type of money to start off their venture (or that’s what it feels like anyway). and yeah throw all the “THIS BOY IS AN ENTREPRENEUR AT 18!!! 18!!!???? BY STARTING HIS OWN BUSINESS AT 12!!!! WHAT A CHAMP! 😁🙃” clickbait news stories at me, but i don’t fucking care. the concept and perceived over-importance and almost preaching mindset of entrepreneurship is slowly becoming insidious and toxic asf. call me paranoid. but that’s what it feels like.

but with those last three topics, i want to make a point that school curriculum’s (in australia at least, and probably worldwide) are so jam-packed already with sport (which is pointless and shitty), geography (ok how to read maps is important, but i never bothered to learned to do it properly), history, science, english etc etc etc..... that like.... where the actual fuck are the gonna jam the above bs (people management”, “conflict management” and entrepreneurship) into the curriculum???? and also teachers are already over-worked enough as it is, they don’t need another load of shitty subjects pushed onto them. and they sure asf don’t earn enough (especially in the states) to have this bs pushed into their subject schedules either. keep them at uni, where they should be. or just in the workplace/in the general public where they belong. and if people suggest that you could probably push these subjects into the year 11/12 business studies programs or elective commerce courses in years 9/10, save your goddamn breath. like i remember looking at business studies hsc papers in years 11/12 to see what they did.... and it was pretty chock-a-block anyway. and my experience of my year 9 commerce was horrible, to say the least. let kids be kids, for fucks sake. they shouldn’t have to be fully functioning adults in the workplace, by the end of high school, for fucks sake. AND ENTREPRENEURSHIP IS NOT AN ESSENTIAL SKILL????!!!! FUCK OFF WITH THAT SHIT, WILHELM. anyway. that’s my rant over about how i hate how corporate people are trying to be #relatablewiththeyouth🙃 with their shitty versions of “10 things i wish we learned in school” memes.... and failing.... without realising that this is why millennials are suspicious and cynical about meme usage by corporate people/corporations.