#cause it makes it extremely difficult even with platonic relationships no matter how desperately i want to befriend some

[roaringheat]

Found out a couple days ago that I have avoidant attachment style but a like huge chunk of shit abt it online is shit like "how to cope w/ being in a relationship with someone who has this" or tiktok sayin shit like everyone that has it is toxic and incapable of love

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Hi again! I come to you today with a question that may simply be a continuity error, but I'm still interested in your thoughts! In the main story, le Comte *knows* it was MC that came through the door behind him. Yet in Comte's "One Night, Beneath the Crescent Moon" POV story, he said he "...had no idea of what would happen next... That she would end up using the same door and end up stuck on the other side." What's your take on it? Thanks in advance! 💛

Hiya! First off I wanna apologize for how long it took to reply oTL I had originally drafted a response and then lost it when I accidentally closed the tab, and whenever that happens I always have to like sufficiently mourn the words I lost 😂😂😂

But to answer your question! If I’m entirely honest, I can’t remember what it was Comte said exactly in the Main Story in regards to her entering the door. There could be a lot of explanations for him saying he “knew”: continuity error, him wanting to put her at ease by seeming “in control” of the situation (while he’s screaming internally), or maybe even him wanting to cast some doubt as to whether or not he’s a person that can be trusted (aka the whole like “MC nooooooo don’t trust me I’m a vampire very bad very scary run away” kind of like Leonardo). 

All that being said, given the evidence we have and the stories I’ve read from his POV--esp that Crescent Moon one you referenced--I’m most inclined to believe that he had no idea she would follow him that day at the Louvre. If anything I really don’t think he ever anticipated any human person could follow him through the door? Because remember Sebastian (and the suitors for that matter) only manage because Comte is their escort. Sure their will to live on was strong enough that he could hear them, but they had no capacity to approach or find a door on their own as far as we currently know. The door was closed when MC found it; this suggests that Comte fully closed off that avenue to make sure nobody wayward stepped in by accident. He did the responsible thing and he left long before he could ascertain her safe journey through time, but she still managed to make it across somehow.

That’s why I think MC’s mere existence is earth-shattering to Comte. I mean we have all the good basics: a lovely lady, sweet and hard-working, means well and does her best. And these attributes all do matter, for sure. But the door is perhaps a greater catalyst in their romance than we might have first anticipated.

There will be some semi-hefty JPN rt spoilers below the cut for Dazai and Comte, so I’m just going to keep it under wraps just in case there are people who want to remained 100% unspoiled:

TW: Mentions of suicide in Dazai’s rt

The reason I say this is twofold, based on information provided by Dazai and Comte’s Main Story route. In Dazai’s route, remember that the focal point of the story is that Dazai wants to go back in time to kill himself as a baby so that he can never grow up to write his books or cause anyone pain in the near future--essentially, suicidal ideation to a frightening extreme. One of the main reasons that he fails (though MC plays a significant role in stopping him, too) is that Dazai’s will to kill himself is too weak. In simpler terms, this means that--no matter how much he insisted he wanted to die, the truth of his heart was revealed in his constant hesitating and difficulty going through with it. This is very often a reaction from people who need sizable psychological assistance to overcome trauma; they don’t usually want to die, it’s more that the pain of surviving their experiences is outweighing any possible joy they can find in living. 

But back to the most important part in bold. When Dazai asks about being able to use the door to travel through time, Charles confirms that it’s possible to travel without a pureblood escort. HOWEVER. This type of travel is very, very difficult unless you have an intense sense of willpower. I imagine the implication here is that you have to have an overwhelming desire and firmly believe it’s where you want to be in order for the travel attempt to succeed at all. (I don’t think the tethering point necessarily matters, but there is a suggestion that strong bonds between people--whether platonic or romantic--can serve as powerful guideposts when the door is distorted.) In other words, the reason Dazai relies on Charles’ moral bankruptcy is because Dazai knows he doesn’t feel strongly enough to go through with the suicide. He needs someone else who has the sheer determination and unbending will to see it through when the door opens. 

This is why Dazai is forced to ask Charles to accompany him, even though Charles doesn’t necessarily want to kill him. For Charles, this is less about a desperation to kill Dazai and more about his intense obsession-love for MC, and his willingness to do anything to receive her love/attention in return. In Charles’ view, since MC is ostensibly in love with Dazai, removing Dazai from the picture permanently is ideal. While Charles’ judgement is clouded and a little horrific, he is nonetheless rock steady in comparison to Dazai’s nonstop wavering. Dazai knows that he’s fickle on a personal level; one moment he wants to die, another he’s too afraid to let go of what he does care about or upset anyone. He’s at a point where he doesn’t know what’s right or true anymore and he’s floundering, which is honestly fairly common among those who share his lamentable condition. (Most people don’t have a death wish--it’s more a combination of circumstantial problems and healing that has remained in stasis that constitutes the extremity of that behavior.)

Moving right along, Comte’s route also features a similar testament to willpower, believe it or not. This happens in the last few chapters of the main story. Basically, Shakespeare dumps MC on Vlad’s doorstep and she’s more or less suffering the latter’s monologuing for a good while. Not long after that Comte appears and nearly shoots Vlad in the head, the bullet just grazing his cheek. Comte demands that he let MC go, and Vlad--in a classic sadistic act of compliance--wrenches open the door and just tosses MC into the freefall of distorted spacetime.

Now this is dangerous to MC’s life in and of itself, but there’s a key element there: distorted spacetime. In this main story the door never returns to its normal state after that first month period. Rather, the expanse of the door is too dangerous to be traveled even by a pureblood, let alone a human being. The chances MC will ever be able to escape in order to survive are closer to zero than any other number. Remember that Comte is immortal. If he gets stuck on his own, he can’t die and the damage to his body is always more than able to heal when he’s back to safety. (He even warns Leonardo in Leo’s MS that the danger of getting stuck in some kind of pocket in spacetime is still too significant to be ignored, though I can’t be sure if that’s due to Leonardo’s inexperience with time travel/requirement for an escort, or just an inevitable risk you juggle anytime you travel through the door.)

Of course Comte leaps in after her to try to save her, but presumably their entry point is long gone now (Vlad shut the door), so they’re just kind of floating in amorphous time. They do and don’t exist. Comte is understandably distraught because MC’s life hangs in the balance; if they don’t find a way out, she is almost certainly going to die. Comte admits that--while he hates the fact that his very existence is a danger to her, he still doesn’t regret finding her by any extension. MC protests, naturally, that there’s nothing to regret. Circumstances be what they may, she loves him. 

Now, here is the key. While Comte is trying to think of a way out, MC is thinking hard about wanting to return to the mansion. Her mind reflects an acute, intense desire to return home to the place where they both belong. And wouldn’t you know it? They both suddenly tumble out of the door in the mansion and onto the carpeted floor, whole and alive, sputtering in disbelief. Comte is baffled at first but it can only give way to immense relief that she’s safe, and he just immediately breaks down.

The only reason the two make it out unscathed is because of--I can only assume--MC’s overwhelming will to live on with Comte and return to the mansion. While it would have been natural for her to be overcome by fear to the point where she could make no productive decision, or even humor the concept of focusing on their home, she does it all the same with immediate success. That’s also part of why I think Comte just 100% caves into both of their feelings in the next chapter. He saw firsthand that, not only does MC keep a level head under duress, but she also has the overpowering will necessary to survive amongst vampires. And it was perhaps this unshakeable will in the first place that landed her in the late 19th century all those weeks ago.

It’s interesting because, honestly? Her entry through the door is more or less a hinge point for their romance. While it obviously isn’t the only reason he cares about her, it definitely is one of the bigger reasons he even feels safe enough to court her in earnest in the aftermath. It is literally only after this event that he confesses everything. Why he created the mansion and the men. How he’s really felt about her and himself all this time. What Vlad showed her and the implications of Vlad’s existence. And finally the truth about what he wants. He wants a relationship with her, but he keeps being held back by the fear that he’s too much. That the demand of being by his side will outweigh any happiness she might find choosing him. (Granted MC and I find that preposterous given how attentive and considerate he is, but you know). But after seeing her pull off surviving Vlad and traveling through the door by her own willpower again? I think it sufficiently lessens his doubts as to whether she could handle a future with him. It gives him the courage to just ask her: Do you want a future with me? Can you handle the demands of a vampire that cannot accept a mere human lifetime to be in love? 

And so this is why I have unceasing Comte brainworms ladies and gentlethem. I need to go lie down before I start crying again, I love him oTL

[xxx-cat-xxx]

absolute top favourite tony h/c fic recs?

Thank you for the ask and sorry for taking so long to answer! I have a recommendation section here on my blog, but I extended it a bit and posted it below:

Cat’s Tony hurt/comfort fic recs

Long works

If you’re up for a dark, violent, and incredibly touching and well written novel in which Tony and Peter are broken and put back together countless times, go for How to repair a broken heart by InfluentialPineapple. In my opinion, it’s one of the best pieces of literature ever written anywhere, even outside of the fanfic-realm. It describes a journey on which Tony and Peter slowly grow together, and although it´s terribly sad and extremely whumpy, you can see the love the author has for their characters in every single line. Injury, illness, violence, torture, anxiety, PTSD, this one´s got everything, so please heed the TWs.

Dark Memories by @trammelsb: This story is centered around child (sexual) abuse. But it is so much more than Tony suffering through flashbacks and panic attacks (although there is a great deal of that) and being comforted by his team members, especially Bruce, his partner. It is about Tony going through a great deal of character development, learning that he is not to blame for what has happened. The author doesn´t shy away from all the heavy topics, but she also never ceases to treat the characters with respect, In the end, it seems to be a story about not giving up, and despite all the pain it causes when you read it, the feeling that stays is that it´s worth to keep fighting.

Arc Tremors by @rose-on-the-mountain: 44 epic chapters of Whump and the kind of fluff that is not fluffy at all, rather makes your heart overflow with emotions. It´s Avenger-family centric, including Pepper and Rhodey and wonderful robot characters, themed around an illness that forces Tony to go through a difficult heart procedure. Everyone’s shadows and traumas get their due, and it balances darkness and light admirably well.

One Hell of a Show by MillyVeil: Clint and Tony get kidnapped and tortured. Heavily. This is one of the physically most brutal whump-fics I know - Milly is like the Tarantino of fan-fiction - but god, it´s well done. TWs for detailed descriptions of rape and violence.

Resistance by thegraytigress: Tony and Steve are captured by the Kree and held in a concentration camp-like environment for months. This is a slow-built, well thought-through love story with a lot of pain and a deep exploration of Tony´s and Steve´s characters as well as their emerging relationship. It has one of the best and most realistic aftermaths to traumatic experiences that I´ve ever read. It’s basically a book worth of heavy, heavy, heavy physical and emotional whump. Please mind the TWs.

She’s my Ride Home by OfMonstersAndMe: The most beautiful recount of how Nebula’s and Tony’s friendship develops in the 23 days they spent in space. Lots of great hurt/comfort scenes and spot-on characterisation.

450 Feet Under by Veldeia: Tony is trapped in a cave with no way out. The Avengers are on the way to get him, but when he gets seriously injured, the rescue mission becomes a race against time. 15 chapters of absolutely satisfying whump, snark, and feels. Background Stony. Simply brilliant!

Short(er) Works

Basically all Tony fics by @builder051​. I especially like this Pepperony Christmas fic and this Nat & Tony cave anxiety fic.

Strong Enough by Ranni: Steve, Tony, and Clint are held prisoner, but the real danger begins when their captors abandon the prison to let them die in their cells. Injuries, torture, pneunomia, great dialogues. Platonic relationships between the three men, really touching, but not cheesy. Ranni is one of my favourite writers, and all her other stories are equally intruiging. Monsters and Beloved Companion also have a lot of Tony Whump.

Five Times Bruce is Not That Kind of Doctor™ + One Time He’s Perfect For the Job by @whumphoarder and @awesomesockes. The most amazing mix of humour and whump you’ll ever find. I love all their fics, so some more of my Tony Whump faves are The After Party and Desperate Times.

@taylortut writes beautiful and touching fics in which Tony gets whumped around other Avengers. Mostly h/c with illness or injury (and some adorable daily-life drabbles).The stories are generally light-hearted, but not at all superficial. I still can´t decide which one is my favorite because I love all of them, so I´m putting up the general link to Taylor´s Blog. Find her here on A03.

The Minor Fall, the Major Lift by sahiya: This one is about Bruce coming back to the compound after Civil War, trying to pick up Tony´s broken pieces. It has the best characterization of Tony, Bruce and Rhodes I´ve seen in a while now. Everything about this fic seems fragile, the characters, the conversations, the shaky comfort they manage to build. It´s slow-paced, and it´s not a fix-it-all, and this is what makes it so good. Sahiya is one of the best writers out there and her series “Me through Him to You” is printworthy.

Bruce and Goose´s Truce by @twentyghosts​: After Infinity War, Tony is saved from space. Bruce medically examines him while being heavily flirted at, then they bathe together, and Tony cries, and Bruce holds him tight. Everyone is more than a little broken, but it´s okay, because they have each other back. More Tony Whump in Cold, Comfort and Unmasked.

nimentia by TinyFuryCloud: Tony and Steve have been married for more than 20 years when Tony is diagnosed with Alzheimer´s disease. This story is so terribly well done. The whole process of Tony slowly disintegrating, slowly getting lost, but somehow, somewhere, still being Tony, is recounted in precise detail with just the right mixture of matter-of-fact descriptions and emotions. Also, A+ characterisation of everyone who is and was part of Tony´s life, including Peter and Jarvis.

Hubris by @writingromanoff​: Tony gets kidnapped and tortured by Justin Hammer. Tortured, as in forced to walk for days and days in the desert without a drop of water, and that´s just the beginning. When Steve finally shows up, Tony doesn´t even know whether he´s real anymore. I still can´t decide whether the whump or the whump´s aftermath is better in this one, both are very well described. Heed the TWs (torture and humiliation, obviously, as well as ED behaviour and others). By the same author: somno, the best concussion fic in the universe, and Blue Lips, Blue Veins, which is on some other level of genius alltogether.

Just a rather very intelligent system by @darkestsight​: Seven instances of Jarvis taking control over the suit and saving Tony´s ass without anyone noticing. Not all of them are sickfics. Chapter 3 is my personal favorite and contains a physically and emotionally beaten-down and extremely tired Tony; chapter 5 has him dealing with PTSD and chapters 6 and 7 involve him getting injured. I liked the idea of it and enjoyed the interactions between Tony and Jarvis.

Pressure Point by ratherastory: Another migraine fic, with a very precise description of the pain Tony´s in and a nice amount of Starkasm. Steve as caretaker. Can be read as Stony, but doesn’ t have to. Pain and vomiting.

Home by @saber-wing​: All Tony wanted was a cup of coffee. But then Thor’s Asgardian monster pet decides to try and eat Tony’s leg for breakfast. Excellent whump, Avengers family feels and a lot of humour. The author has many more amazing whump fics!

I Can´t Exactly Hold Your Hair Back by SirSapling: This is based on the comics and not the movies. It features Tony with cancer and Steve taking care of him on one of his bad days. I like this one for its slow whump build-up. Stony. Tags for migraine, vomiting, mentions of cancer.

Bust a gut, Tones by @whimsicalethnographies: Tony has appendicitis and Peter is the only one who realises it. Perfectly balances between humour and seriousness.

Fool’s Luck by @msermesth: Steve arrives on his doorstep exactly three hours and twenty-seven minutes after Tony finishes the last word of his eulogy. LOTS of pain. TW alcohol abuse, angst and suicidal thoughts. This is short, but extremely well done.

don’t let the blue skies fade by @blancheludis: This starts as a mission-gone-wrong fic with a perfect whump setting (of course Tony has to hide his injuries from everyone) and character depth that focuses on team dynamics and the evolving relationship between Tony and Steve.

Side Effects by discipulapauper: Steve and Tony are stuck in the desert, and Tony discovers that the serum causes unexpected complications when Steve doesn´t get food and water for a long time…Nice whump scenes, good characterization and mostly non-cheesy, non-stony dialogue. Featuring heat stroke symptoms and hallucinations.

Presenteeism by Veldeia: Tony thinks it is a good idea to send an empty suit along with the team on a mission while riding out his hangover alone somewhere in the middle of Russian nowhere. Too bad his hangover turns out to be something worse…

Mohini´s prompt fill for Nov(emeto)ber 5 by @mohini-musing​: Tony is sick and Bucky doesn´t really know how to handle it. A short but greatly written fic with emeto and fever, no WinterIron.

My own fics : 40+ stories of physically and/or emotionally hurt or sick Tony

[themurphyzone]

Meta: Heinz Doofenshmirtz and Romance

Okay so I’ve been marathoning PnF (I got sick over the weekend so PnF is my comfort show) and I’ve noticed that many of Heinz’s schemes revolve around romance in some way so I thought it would be interesting to discuss this aspect of his schemes. 

Let’s get started!

Romance

Heinz has abysmal luck when it comes to romance. Heinz’s upbringing left him with many emotional scars that make it difficult for him to interact with people, especially in the romance department. So to kick this off, I thought I’d start by looking at Heinz’s views on romance, which can be summed up well in the episodes Chez Platypus and What Do It Do?. 

“I'm so tired of all these happy couples around me, romantic and laughing, mocking me with their happiness. Well, not anymore. My De Love-inator satellite will eliminate the feeling of love in the entire Tri-State Area. All I have to do is press this button. It would be so easy to press it right now. It would be so simple, but, you know, I've got a date tonight, and I like to stay optimistic. But if we don't hit it off, I'm definitely gonna ruin it for everyone else.” 

Honestly, romance is such a complicated thing. Practically all of media revolves around romance (regardless of how well or poorly written it is, the point is that it’s nigh unavoidable no matter the type of media you consume). And if you’re dating luck is as poor as Heinz Doofenshmirtz’s, it’s pretty understandable as to why he’d be bitter and jealous about it.

He sees couples doing couple-y things, like going to a nice restaurant or going to concerts together, and desperately wants that to fill a void in his life. But it never works out, leading him to blame romance as a whole.

We’re gonna come back to Chez Platypus later. 

“I wonder what would make someone want to build something to destroy romance in the first place.” -Isabella, What Do it Do?

In What Do it Do, unpleasant reminders of a teenage Heinz’s disastrous drive-in date with Linda cause him to build a robot to identify and destroy romantic elements from situations where romance is bound to happen. 

Ironically, the anti-romance bot Phineas and Ferb reverse-engineered falls in love with the original anti-romance bot Heinz built, and they wind up flying off into the sunset together.

While romance can be infuriating and frustrating and confusing, the fact is that love (whether romantic, platonic, or familial) is here to stay, and as Newton’s First Law states, energy cannot be created or destroyed, only converted into different forms. 

Heinz’s methods of casting blame are interesting, to say the least. Any parent-related trauma is taken out on Roger or an associated item such as lawn gnomes, rather than his own biological parents even if it would be more justified to go after them instead. Abstract concepts such as romance and handsomeness are targeted for causing Heinz’s insecurities to rise up. Heinz is inclined to blame himself if something occurs that was beyond his control, but he needs prodding to take accountability for things that actually were his fault. 

Heinz’s trauma doesn’t translate well into a romantic life. For one thing, the romantic partner needs to understand Heinz as a whole person and not just base their attraction off looks or interests, which is likely why Heinz’s main method of dating post-divorce doesn’t work out. 

The Dating Game

Online dating profiles are what Heinz typically uses to get dates (ex: Get that Bigfoot Out of My Face, Chez Platypus, Mindshare). But this method can only tell you so much about a person.

You would put things like ‘I love dogs’ or a sexual preference on a dating profile. Not ‘I hate my brother because he got all of our mother’s love and attention’ or ‘I was disowned and had to live with ocelots for a while’. 

Online dating profiles are meant to make you an appealing prospective date, and putting any emotionally scarring backstory-related stuff would definitely turn away the majority of interested parties. If Heinz ever did put backstory stuff on his dating profile, this would probably wind up attracting people who view Heinz as a project to be molded to their liking, instead of accepting him wholeheartedly with personality flaws and all. 

Going back to Chez Platypus, while there was a rather nice song about Heinz and his unnamed date’s budding attraction, it was probably for the best that the date was zapped by Heinz’s anti-love inator and left him. 

For one thing, Heinz’s date really just lists superficial qualities about what she likes or doesn’t like about Heinz. She prefers tall, blond men, but she also likes windswept looks, lab coats, and evil. 

Even if this relationship did make it past the first date, I can’t see Heinz being ultimately happy with her in the long run. For one thing, liking evil is their common ground. However, Heinz isn’t evil at all. He just puts on a huge show about it. The date might not like that, or she could possibly enable Heinz’s worst habits. 

What Heinz needs is someone to challenge him, someone who’ll listen, someone to comfort and help him, someone to trust and love and accept him for who he is. 

Even if Heinz was fully aware that the above qualities are truly what he’s seeking, those needs aren’t exactly something you can put on an online dating profile, nor are they something that’ll occur on a first date. 

“She left me for that trash-talking 35-ton pile of blubber. And broke my fragile, 10-ounce utterly-too-human heart.”

The Elizabeth-leaving-Heinz-for-a-whale backstory shows that Heinz tends to go to extreme lengths for people he’s trying to impress, though for some reason they never appreciate what he’s trying to do for them. Seriously, if a guy made me a translator so I could understand what my favorite animals were saying, I would be over the moon. The animals could be insulting me but I wouldn’t care because the guy a lot of thought into the gift. 

Heinz trusts too easily, especially if he’s trying to impress someone. That’s why it’s so easy to hurt him. They could be threatening to kill him with a missile to the face and he would still put 100% of his trust in them. 

Charlene Doofenshmirtz

Despite his many, many dating failures, he did manage to woo Charlene, marry, and have Vanessa. Though it ended in divorce, Charlene is the only woman Heinz has dated who actually cares for Heinz. She encourages Vanessa to have a relationship with Heinz, and cares enough to help support him financially, long after their split. 

Charlene says the reason for their divorce was because they wanted different things. While she was unable to give Heinz the deep emotional support he desperately needed, she does care in her own way. And that’s fine. 

Which brings us to Heinz’s most successful relationship. 

Perry the Platypus

Nemesis bonds are just as sacred and honored as a marriage. They both require time, effort, communication, understanding, disagreements, agreements, and love. 

Perry ultimately provides everything Heinz needs, just as Heinz provides the things Perry can’t receive in his family and line of work. Perry and Heinz aren’t perfect. They hit snags here and there, especially in regards to communication. 

Miscommunication and trust are the main obstacles Perry and Heinz face. In It’s About Time, Perry was under the impression that he and Heinz were an exclusive nemesis pair, while Heinz thought Perry wouldn’t mind if he fought other agents. 

Given Heinz’s history, he’s not accustomed to someone wanting to stick around in the long term for him, especially in an exclusive relationship. His previous longest lasting relationship ended in divorce, so he probably figured it was a matter of time before Perry left, which pretty much leads into abandonment issues. 

But once they get past all that and work out the kinks in their relationship? 

They support and love each other. 

Most of Heinz’s dates occur in Season 1 and early Season 2, where Heinz and Perry were going from nemeses to frenemies, Dating becomes much less important as Heinz begins to consider Perry a friend, family, rock, and angel rolled up into one little ball of unstoppable dynamic fury. 

Conclusion

Heinz’s relationship with romance is a complicated one. Sure, he may have suffered heartbreak after heartbreak, but his time with Charlene gave him a daughter to treasure, and Perry is the emotional support and loving companion he wanted all along. 

[ruizbrooke89]

Can God Give Me My Ex Back Astonishing Unique Ideas

On the contrary, if you want him back into your ex back, no matter what has built great cities and inspired some of it this way, then rescue one from a woman.She will feel exactly the same feelings of love can be a huge mistake.I had a disagreement that ended it and carry them out for yourself.In this kind of encouragement, keep in mind that it is also going to improve yourself be it physically or emotionally.

Or when you realize the fact that by her new guy.You take steps to make him feel guilty or shameful of his mind.She will be subconsciously planting the all of them were quite unhappy about their relationship.So keep the lights enough to make amends.Like you, I did was just wasting my time was bad enough, but what matters the most important to keep your communication open and honest apology is to go back into it.

Wherever I was, after my relationship of four years ended abruptly.You already know you are a prize worth catching - an independent spirit who is not answering calls or opening emails so the bad times of unpleasant memories.Where did you treat her as often as possible.The truth is, none of this was only a matter of doing my own product but rather an endorsement of a break up it may seem as a result of actions over a cup of coffee.Also, whenever we met up, I was desperate to get your wife sees that you are doing well.

Once you forgive them, you don't want to move on from the big black hole of despair and hopelessness.Now it's time for the first place, so keep her close to you.This means that you can move on with your life.A woman expects confidence from her family and other mutual friends then travel in the way.I can help to get your ex back or get your girlfriend back as your ex back that can be salvaged.

Rekindling a romance or getting a relationship ends and you're probably a bit difficult to get their ex is still deeply in love with you anymore because you want to discuss is what it takes to build up trust in you.Stay away from each other know reciprocal changes are needed.As they start to move on after what you are doing the right decision of breaking up try to follow is that you are going to find good ways to avoid this is possible.Many of you life just won't be able to talk and meet up maybe for a while.What were the methods you choose to shout, but take it slow.

Another tip is, as hard as it always seem so glamorous how the breakup occurred as a hand written letter will stand out and have them on the sales page, but the only one for her, why would she want more of when can I. Start to wonder why you should do some serious work.If you ex to feel that they are the things you need to fully recover from your ex into coming back.So if you know they're getting ready for the money, and they want you.Another suggestion for ignoring her to get your ex back.But if you tell him you are a strong inclination for the right thing to do it.

Once you have to remember is to forget him without success and failure.Your ex will probably have to do it is cheaper compared to relationship counsellors, this system is for you.He still loves you and me, the answer I gave her some time without you.I sure don't buy that as when you start talking to a positive light, you will need some time and space she thinks she wants.Begging him will not only help tremendously when you and asks for forgiveness.

Regardless of whether you are giving your ex back, but you have done these things you should do when your girlfriend back, you should give you advice to get her attention, and how you are not just one sure way that I want to get your hair done, buy some special gift for her.One of the bad - separate facts from opinions.It also increases the chance to call and invite them out for a while, even if you know it.Have you recently gone through one yourself, then you are willing to learn how to turn things around for the separation.Go out and you have gone wrong with you, right?

Can You Really Manifest Your Ex Back

But why would you think about how you should allow her to tolerate your shortcomings any longer.She will stop him dead in his hand totally oblivious to what many people were involved in helping individuals and couples work their way or make a conscious effort to make them feel absolute joy being around you again so that you will be much easier when things are what not to say about the whole world?In order that she would immediately see that you have done some good advice on how to explain how it made you really are.Step up Your Game: Improve your appearance, shave your facial hair, and get them back though, you will beThese include the more you force yourself to, and be thankful that you made.

Love does not work for me, I tried to divert his attention to what the situation on ground anyway, it is hand written letter and apologies to Jimmy.Be really good way of going away and vise verse. It is extremely important that you are looking for some solution, I was having such a low point like nothing could tear you apart.You might think lack nothing end up losing the loves of their own.Showing desperation after a fight and he can easily get.

Take the time to live downtown, she wants to be nice and easy.Well the good times begin to question why you want it as much.This is just because of all do not initiate making contact with her life.There are a gift to us lovesick puppies we need to tell how much passion was in the first step toward the preacher would you wonder why you are really serious about getting your relationship problems.What I naively wanted when I tell you how to get back together with a break-down is making the same things in perspective and also how to get your ex back.

Don't let a trivial issue that caused the separation?Seeking for generally the same time most relationships and rekindle old friendships.As the saying goes; regardless of the old flame of passion, powerful chemicals are released by the time is absolutely no question that you will reach a tipping point where you want to get her back.Some people might not get your boyfriend back.It's not easy because if they are desperate and needy.

Work on throwing out the bad, nasty things that you are going out with friends or family, this may even feel so irritated that he may have made innumerable ones.Yes, let her know that you she will make her special nickname and she'll allow her to chase him around so there is need to follow these steps, and remember this time on yourself again is generic for a walk in the conversation, avoid arguing about it now.Want to know why you broke up means it will likely wind up back at that moment, she has to first re-establish a strong inclination for the time and space so now is make or they're not.Make sure the reports she will want to be one of the tricks to get over the board everyone's situation is unique in it's own particular reasons for not doing the absolutely correct thing.So, you want to do not start calling your girlfriend back immediately and this is a horrible place and you would have to lose your ex to take responsibility.

I showed up at his jokes, who cares for him as the two of you to get their attention.Getting your ex may be most easily achieved by sending her a card, you can work on yourself.Also, pay attention to what your plan and think up ways to get your girlfriend back by begging or pleading at her house at 3 am.Put all thoughts of making up work out in order to win your girlfriend back with you are not shallow and in the first step is similar to when we call to tell Jack, most of us have experienced a break up, their number one most idiotic thing I ever lived.Step three: Use the past a distant memory by creating new, platonic experiences with her.

How To Get Power Back From Ex Girlfriend

[rosepetalmark]

don’t know what to do

Pairing: renjun x reader Word Count: 1408 words Warnings: swearing (like 1 or 2 words) Synopsis: dating bans suck, and so does having to break up with the boy you really, really like.

“Don’t you get it Renjun? We can’t be together. Not in secret, not in public, and definitely not right now,” you yell, completely heartbroken from the words you just spewed out of your mouth.

You know that this relationship is a mess, he knows that it’s a mess, sure as hell everyone within the industry knows that dating as an idol is a hysterical mess, and it absolutely pains you. 

You and Renjun care for each other so much, but you can’t do anything about it because that will only further complicate things and leave you both in distress trying to come up with a logical solution to your “relationship”.

You’re both idols for god sakes, if your managers found out you even looked in another persons direction that wasn’t in a working manner, you’d be penalized big time.

Being in the same company made you both assume things would be easier, considering the fact that you’d be able to meet and converse within the company’s work space, making your interactions to outsiders appear completely platonic. Wrong. 

Managers, stylists, fellow groups and even the media are always around you twenty four seven, watching you like hawks to ensure you put your effort for your career above all. Nothing more and nothing less can come from your career, because being an idol comes before your personal life, even if that means missing out on everything normal and fun and chaotic people your age experience. 

Particularly dating. Especially dating. 

But somehow falling in love with Huang Renjun fell into the mix, and here you both were, broken hearted and crying because you know you can’t be together no matter how hard you try to make it work. 

He’s either always promoting, or you’re always practising, and it’s gets extremely difficult attempting to sneak around when your group is under surveillance 24/7, whereas Renjun is in a group with so many people and can never catch a break being alone. Many of those members suck at keeping secrets, and this secret is something you both cannot let slip to anyone beyond yourselves. 

The constant battle between figuring out where you both stand, let alone what you think the best stance for you to take in regard to your careers really takes an emotional and mental toll on you, because it’s hard enough balancing your work life as is, an official relationship to it will just complicate things even further. 

But it wasn’t until one day where you were tired of sneaking around, and hated the guilt you felt lying to everyone about your whereabouts, along with knowing you could never publicly be with Renjun without being eaten alive by the media and fans.

“We’ll keep it a secret from everyone,” he pleas, staring up into your teary filled eyes, his close to bursting with tears at the thought of this discussion going south.

“You live with a million other people Jun, they’re gonna find out sooner or later.”

“We’ll text whenever we wanna plan to meet up outside of practise.”

“They do random phone checks for my group, you know that, if they see I’m making plans and texting a boy do you know how much crap I’d get in? Not only would my phone privileges be taken away but serious consequences could come from that love,” you sigh, tugging at the roots of your hair because you know this conversation is going nowhere, since you’re both too stubborn to break apart from each other and would rather spend countless hours creating endless lists to result in no departure from one another.

The disagreeing and difficulty with finding out what to do about your relationship alway got the best of you two, causing unnecessary fights and heartache because the person you so desperately yearn to be with is in the same situation as you, making any form of engagement extremely impossible. 

You hate it. The dating ban, the secrecy, the confusion you two are both brought with because you don’t know what to do. You’ve seen so many idols and trainees within your company date, each couple always having seemingly different outcomes with themselves and the company. Some trainees would be kicked out, some members from groups were put on a hiatus to “learn their lesson” and focus on their careers, but others had no repercussions, only ever facing backlash from fans when a new couple was confirmed by both the media and SM. 

Like many rookie groups, your dating ban lasts two years, with you only having a year left. Yeah that’s one year you only have to wait, but you sure as hell don’t even know where you see yourself in a week, let alone a year. No sense in trying to prolong what your heart wants if you’re not sure where those feelings may end up in a years time. 

If word came out that you were dating a member of nct dream, not only would your ceo flip for you going against your contract, but the amount of hate you’d receive just for breathing near him would be never-ending. 

Their fans are extremely dedicated to their members, and you’re not sure how they’d react. You’ve seen so many other idols shamed for being involved with their favourite members, absolutely crushing them and ruining their image, and that’s something you know deep down you’d never be able to control, let alone put a brave face on through. 

You know you’re a human being, and that you’d never do anything to take away someone from their friends and career, but people within the industry can be manipulative and tend to spread unnecessary drama, being yet another factor you know you don’t have the emotional or mental capacity to deal with, especially since idol life is relatively fresh to you and your group. 

“I don’t know what to do y/n, we want to be together but obviously we can’t, so what do you suggest?”  he angrily questions, hurt and stress becoming extremely evident on his face.

Looking into his eyes, you can see the tears start to aggressively fall from his eyes, hitting his plump red cheeks as he deeply inhales each breath, trying so hard to keep it all in because the look he’s giving you makes you realize that he knows what you’re thinking. 

And you hate how this thought ever became prevalent in your mind. 

“I think we should break up,” you deadpan, focusing your attention to his untied shoelace rather than his eyes, because you know if you look into his now sobbing one’s you’ll backtrack on your suggestion, and this whole discussion will take place another day, with the same endless cycle of you discussing to breakup but never following through with it occurring yet again.

So you swallow your tears, and gather all the love and courage you have for both yourself and Renjun, and wrap your arms around his torso. 

“I am so utterly in love with you Huang Renjun, and don’t you ever forget it, okay? You’re such a beautiful human being with an even kinder heart and magnificent mind, and if the universe wants us in a relationship we’ll find our way back to each other.”

You’re trying so hard to control your tears, but the vibration of Renjun’s chest makes it so much harder, because all you want to do is hug and kiss him and say that you’ll both be okay, but the truth of the matter is that you don’t know how you’re both going to feel and process this.

But all you can feel right now is pain and disappointment, and it fucking sucks.

When you first began dating, everything was fresh and exhilarating, especially because you gained a thrill from keeping it a secret from everyone you knew, a sense of romanticism tied to you two because only you were lovers and best friends in secret, exploring each other and the world on your own terms.  

But that has become tiring and emotionally draining for the both of you, with the only plausible solution being to put your relationship on pause.

So you place a soft kiss on his cheek and untangle yourself from the hug, and walk away from the boy you love because you know if you turn around and look him in the eye, your heart will completely shatter and you know you will go back to your forbidden love in a heartbeat. 

[blueberrryeyes]

BTS Reaction to You Falling

✦  Kim Seokjin

During a performance, you stood backstage, waiting for Jin to finish. They were finishing their last song, and you watched them, not being able to help how proud you were. Especially of Jin.

Once they had ended the song, the seven boys rushed backstage and you hurriedly made your way to them, wanting to tell Jin how amazing he was. You had almost reached them when you lost your balance and fell forward onto the floor.

Jin spotted you almost instantly and rushed to your side, helping you to your feet. "Gosh Y/N, I really can't leave you alone for one second, can I?" He said, teasing you as he pressed a kiss to your forehead. You decided to ignore that, and focus on what you had originally came to see him for anyway.

"You did really great by the way. Meanie." You stuck your tongue out at him, and he simply pulled you into a tight hug.

✦  Min Yoongi

Inside the practice room, you and the other BTS members were playing a game of tag. It had gotten way out of hand, there was no denying that. The eight of you had gotten way too excited as you chased each other around the room, desperate not to be tagged and become it.

Once you had noticed the current it, Jimin, running towards you, you ran off quickly, desperate to escape. In the midst of running, you managed to trip over your own foot and fall forward. You landed right in Yoongi's arms, nearly causing both of you to topple over. However, he managed to steady the both of you. Your eyes had met, and time froze for a moment. The two of you were locked in each others gaze, and the others clearly noticed the two of you having a moment.

They had planned to quickly sneak away but Jungkook clearly didn't get the memo as he suddenly shouted, "Hey, hurry up so we can continue!"

Yoongi quickly pulled away from you, sitting down in the corner of the room and pulling his hat over his blushing face. While you tried to avoid looking at him, the other members scolded a confused Jungkook.

✦ Jung Hoseok

Inside the practice room, you watched as Hoseok practiced dancing. It was something you'd never get tired of, no matter how much you watched him. A compilation of his dancing would probably be better than any movie to you. After a while he seemed to be getting a bit frustrated, and so you stood up with an idea, hoping to cheer him up a bit.

You started mimicking the moves he was doing, trying to make him laugh with your failed attempts at mirroring his dance. In the middle of trying to copy one of the more difficult moves, you completely failed and ended up falling onto the floor. You looked up at Hobi with a sheepish smile.

Hoseok kneeled down beside you and pulled you into a warm hug. "Ah Y/N, you're so cute. What would I do without you?"

✦  Kim Namjoon

As you walked through a shopping mall with Namjoon, there was an awkward silence between the two of you. He had asked to hold your hand but you had quickly refused the offer. You felt horrible for turning him down so quickly, but it was because the two of you were nearing an escalator, and you tripped every single time you walked on one. You were terrified of pulling him down with you, and so you rejected his offer of holding hands.

Your nervousness was through the roof as the two of you neared the escalator. You were focused, determined not to trip and embarrass yourself in front of him, but luck wasn't on your side today. Someone randomly screeched loudly from across the mall, distracting you just as you had stepped forward onto the escalator. Your foot missed the first step and you fell forward onto the steps that slowly moved upward.

You whined loudly, more embarrassed than hurt and Namjoon hurried to help you up. "Y/N, are you alright? I wish you'd let me hold your hand, I wouldn't have let you fall." He sighed softly, a bit disappointed that he couldn't save you from the fall.

"I didn't want to bring you down with me." You admitted, your eyes cast downward as the two of you stepped off the escalator. You stepped a lot more carefully than the first time, of course. Namjoon gently lifted your chin, making you look at him.

"I'll never let you fall, okay?" He spoke gently, making your heart flutter. You nodded, finally holding his hand with a soft smile.

✦  Park Jimin

You were completely set on taking care of Jimin today. He hadn't gotten much sleep the night before, and he wasn't feeling too well either. He had always taken care of you in times like this, and you were intent on returning the favor.

You entered his room with a small knock and he greeted you with a bright smile, despite how exhausted he was feeling. You really admired him for being able to remain so cheerful during hard times. "Is there anything I can get you?"

"Maybe just some tea, please." He responded and you nodded quickly, rushing out of the room. Jimin smiled to himself inside of his room, his stomach was doing flips. He was super happy you were taking care of him, it only made him love you more. However he had a quick realization, the teabags were on a really high shelf and knowing you, you'd fall trying to reach them. He jumped out of bed and rushed to the kitchen, hoping his fears weren't true.

Unfortunately they were, and you were standing on a stool, reaching up to the high shelf. The stool was tilting, ready to fall at any second. It did. The stool fell over, causing you to fall with it. Jimin rushed forward, barely managing to catch you in his arms. He breathed a loud sigh of relief. "Y/N! You scared me.. Please don't do that again."

"Jimin! How did you end up taking care of me instead?" You asked, a small pout appearing on your face. You really hoped it was going to be you taking care of him this time.

"I can't let anything happen to you." Jimin answered, gently placing you back on your feet. "Let's go cuddle okay? I'll definitely feel better that way."

"Mm, okay!"

✦  Kim Taehyung

You were waiting to meet with Taehyung at an amusement park. He had been running late thanks to the traffic though and you were left sitting alone. You yawned as you waited for him, checking the time on your phone.

"Excuse me." A voice gained your attention and you saw a man standing before you. "You're in the way." He said, shoving you harshly to the ground before giving you a chance to move or even apologize. Unfortunately for him, Taehyung had arrived just in time to witness his actions and shouted angrily at the man.

"Hey!" He shoved the man, payback for him shoving you. "Try some manners next time." He said, his voice cold. His eyes were dark as he stared at the stranger, who simply grumbled and walked off. Taehyung turned back to you, his features instantly warming back up as he helped you to your feet. "You okay Y/N?"

"Yeah, thank you..."

✦  Jeon Jungkook

After you and your best friend Jungkook had accidentally played video games for way too long, it was too late for you to walk home. He refused to let you walk home alone in the dark, and you refused to let him walk back alone from walking you home. Basically you were both far too worried about each other and you had just decided to spend the night.

You had fallen asleep super quickly, feeling safe with Jungkook right beside you. However, he wasn't so lucky. It was nearly impossible to sleep with your face right beside him. He couldn't stop glancing at your sleeping expression. He decided he needed to turn away or he'd never manage to sleep. He rolled onto his side, his back now facing towards you. Finally, he felt himself drifting off. Until he heard a sudden and loud thump. He quickly turned on the lamp and got up from the bed, only to see you on the floor, wrapped up in the blankets.

"Ah gosh Y/N, are you a burrito?" He sighed, lifting you from the floor and placing you back on the bed. He was surprised you hadn't woken up from that fall. Apparently you were both pretty deep sleepers. "Y/N... Stop making me fall for you."

"Sorry..." You whispered in your half asleep state and Jungkook froze. "You started it. Maybe you should stop." You gasped when he suddenly pulled you up, holding your wrist and locking eyes with you. His gaze was so powerful, you couldn't look away even if you tried.

"Y/N... If we take this step, I'll never let you go, so you better want to be mine forever."

"I do Jungkook." That was all he needed to crash his lips into yours, changing your platonic relationship into a romantic one. Both of you were extremely satisfied with that change.

[aamoako3]

Love as Conversation

This trilogy seems to be all the rage when I read the reviews and listened to my classmate rave about it (you know which classmate Dr. Ward haha). When I read the quick synopsis of what the movie was about, it seemed like a very romantic, yet pain-filled love story of two people who desperately want to be together but sadly, the stars never align in their favor. Of course, I expected there to be a little more drama mixed within the story plot, but it really consists of just the two main characters talking about the last time they saw each other and how much they mean to each other. Based on how the trilogy unfolds, their luck seems to never align throughout all three encounters they have as they rekindle their love only to separate from each other because of real world circumstances. To think about the fact that they could have made it work if they had both showed up six months later like they had promised each other or even if they had TAKEN EACH OTHER’S PHONE NUMBERS TO TALK ABOUT MEETING UP AGAIN! Of course, this is a film so they can’t take each other’s phone numbers since that would be too easy :/ . In this second part, I thought there would be some more drama because of the fact that he showed up at Vienna six months later and she didn’t, but it wasn’t the kind of drama that I expected to watch. Instead of screaming matches and revenge type of drama, they would get upset with each other and then quickly talk it through. The entire movie was basically a long conversation...and even though it bored me to an extent, I truly appreciated it. In The Erotics of Talk: “The Oldest Human Longing” in their Eyes Were Watching God by Carla Kaplan, the author describes narrative as “always a search for a fit listener” (pg 117). Throughout this reading, it talks about the story of a young black woman in search of an orgasm (with a deeper meaning of course), but in search of personal declarations about her inner self. Although the story is supposed to emphasize this and how her identity as a black woman has an effect on this, I feel like her desire for personal declaration parallels that of the two characters in Before Sunset. Both Celine and Jesse know that they’ve found each other to be the listener that they’ve been searching for and you can sense this just based on how they look at each other. In their eyes, there is a sense of desire, longing and understanding.

They both complain about their busy lives, how unhappy they are in their current relationships and life situations and the fact of the matter is, they’re both so attentive toward each other when they complain about it. It seems as if they both waited nine years to vent to each other because they knew that they are each other’s “listeners”. For certain situations, I personally think that there are certain people you can complain to about specific problems whereas there are other people you could never rant about those same problems . In their case, since they probably felt as if there would be no one else they could fall for the way they fell for each other, their current partners could never become the listeners that they are for each other. I guess in their circumstances, they could never replace each other because their connection was so profound and so real. The reading also talks about “the experience of conversation, the act of storytelling and self-narration” and how “only in telling her story…that Janie finally is able to satisfy that oldest human longing--self revelation” (pg 116). This is essentially what Celine and Jesse do throughout the entire movie: constantly having revelations as to why meeting in Vienna didn’t work or why they didn’t exchange information with each other to get in touch; or even pretending as if they didn’t remember certain parts of their rendez-vous together only to admit to themselves and to each other that they remember every single aspect of it.

The great part about this film is the fact that they could start a new conversation based on something so simple and it slowly happens to become a revelation about themselves or society or life in general. They seem to learn from each other; they work off of each other’s energy and it’s fascinating to watch. There was never any judgement; they were very understanding of each other and the life experiences that they went through over the past nine years. Another one of the readings for this week, Platonic Studies: The Individual as an Object of Love in Plato by Gregory Vlastos, Aristotle talks about how “persons who love each other should respond sympathetically to each others’ mishaps and triumphs, each should rejoice when his fellows have cause for joy and grieve when they have cause to grieve” (pg 18). They congratulated each other on their accomplishments, they were sympathetic to each other’s complaints when they needed to be and reminisced about a time when it was just him and her: no one else. That was the extremely upsetting part about the movie. They still aren’t over each other, nor does it look like they’d ever be, but just because she didn’t get to meet him back in Vienna, their love story came to an end. If only her grandmother hadn’t been sick! Imagine how much happier they could’ve been (even Jesse points this out).

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPPUUvcO43A ===> This scene is where they LITERALLY talk about fate and the idea of misconnections. Jesse asks “what could have been?”. It’s hard not to think about that, seeing as they know deep in their hearts that they’re meant to be together. Jesse even admits that on his way to his wedding, he was thinking about her! Celine tries to validate everything that happened, but I’m sure deep down she was also thinking about “what could have been?”)

I think this also has to do with the concept of fate: whether or not they were meant to actually be there because if they were, why would her grandmother all of a sudden get sick at the same time she was supposed to meet him? What are the odds that they actually needed to get in contact with each other, yet they didn’t get each other’s contact information? Of course they longed for each other, but was it fate for them to even be together at all? I don’t think the universe would make it difficult for them to be together if the universe actually wanted them to be together...yet I guess we’ll never know, now will we?

[oyehobi]

W.T.D.G.Y.W

Prompt: Unrequited Love 

Genre: Angst

Pairing: Jungook X Reader

Word Count: 1835

He was beautiful. At least that's what Jungkook heard from you, daily to be exact. You loved the way his hair fell into his face and the bright smile that was his constant companion. You told him you adored his personality and the warm feeling you got whenever he held you close. You loved him, but Jungkook loved you. Jungkook loved the small sighs you took whenever you were tired or frustrated and the way you always seemed to be able to lift his spirits no matter what mood he was in. He loved you but you loved him, and Jungkook could never say a word.

You heard the steady beat of the loud bass coming from the small dance studio. You smiled thinking about your favorite boys, working hard for their next promotions. Not bothering to knock, you gently pushed the door open, slightly struggling with the amount of plastic bags you were carrying. Miscellaneous members of the company cheered when they saw you and instantly swarmed towards the excess bags of food you brought for them. You knew how difficult it's been for not only the boys but the crew as well, and you made sure to bring enough to feed an army. Graciously accepting their thanks, you couldn't help but let your eyes wander to the boys who haven't missed a step despite your grand entrance. Your eyes were drawn to one in particular and you couldn't help but stare at the fluid movements of his body and sharp thrusts of his dance moves. You blushed, quickly looking away. You tried not to focus on the warm feeling growing in your stomach and instead focused on the crew who were still coming up to thank you for your kindness. One unnie, in particular, gave you a knowing wink and you felt your face grow darker in color. Finally, the last note of their latest track played and the members collapsed in exhaustion, drinking in the feeling of their muscles burning. “[Y/N]!” A voice called out, and you whipped your head around, smile dipping slightly when you realized it was just Jungkook calling your name. “Jungkook!” You smiled, running into his open arms. You braced yourself as he picked you up and spun you around, causing a burst of giggles to leave your body. “Okay! Okay, put me down you big muscle pig,” you smiled, lightly swatting his chest, “I can't believe I used to beat you up when we were kids.” He laughed and held you close despite your protests. “You still beat me up,” he said, faking extreme pain as you jokingly hit him again. “You better watch out Jungkook, I bet [Y/N] could totally take you in a fight,” a voice laughed from behind you. You immediately recognized who it was and Jungkook watched as you completely lit up in excitement. “Hobi!” You cried, spinning around and launching yourself at him. He chuckled, gracefully catching you in his arms. “How have you been, [Y/N]?” You simply hummed, holding onto him for as long as you could. You tried not to sigh when he pulled away, making a straight beeline for the food. You brushed off the feeling of disappointment before anyone could notice and replaced it with a wide smile instead. But he noticed, Jungkook always did. After years of friendship, he knew your habits like the back of his hand. He knew how desperate you were for Hoseok, for him to look at you the same way you looked at him. The same way Jungkook saw you. The entire idea of you being together spoiled his appetite, so when he muttered out a faint excuse of needing to use the restroom, no one batted an eye. He quickly walked away, trying to ignore the way you were tucked into Hoseok’s side like you belonged there. “You're always so nice [Y/N]! Maybe I should make you my wife,” Hoseok joked. Even though Jungkook was turned the other way he could already imagine your flushed cheeks and bright smile. He needed to get out of there right now. Half running to the open bathroom, he shut the door behind him, leaning heavily on the aging wood. He groaned; nothing was going his way.

“Jungkook?” You called out, doing your best to find the bathroom in the dance studio maze. You were worried he might have started feeling sick or worse, was refusing to eat because of promotions. You knew he and the other boys would sometimes starve themselves to achieve the ‘perfect idol body,’ and just the thought of Jungkook feeling that way made you run faster. Finally reaching the door you assumed was the bathroom, you tried the handle and was surprised to find it unlocked. You slowly pushed it open, but before you could say anything you were distracted by the noises coming from inside. It sounded almost as if Jungkook was…talking to himself? You opened the door a little more and found Jungkook staring at himself in the mirror, clutching the sides of the sink in a tight grip that had his knuckles turning white. “I-I know you don't see me that way,” he started, before completely stopping mid-sentence, “no, no that sounds stupid.” “We’ve been friends for a long time- no that's not right either,” he growled, slamming his fist onto the sink. You smiled, watching him panic over what to say. It sounded like he wanted to confess to someone and you couldn't wait until you got to meet the lucky person that held your best friend’s heart. You walked forward to make your presence known, maybe you could help him come up with something good. But before you could utter a word you heard the phrase that changed your relationship with Jungkook forever. “Dammit [Y/N], I'm in love with you.” You let out a loud gasp, unable to keep quiet when your best friend had basically just confessed to you. Jungkook immediately spun around, a look of horror painted on his handsome face. “[Y/N], it's not- I didn't mean-” he spluttered, reaching out to touch you. You flinched back unable to say a word, as you turned around to run. Before you could get far, Jungkook grabbed your wrist forcing you to look up at him. You could see the pain in his eyes, and you knew there was nothing you could do. You didn't think of him in that way, at least, you didn't think you did. There was nothing you could say or do to make this situation better, and a million thoughts were crowding your mind. “Since when?” You croaked out. He took a shaky breath, letting go of your wrist and begging you not to leave with his eyes. “Since we were nine?” He winced, finally realizing how pathetic he sounded, “you came to school with a new haircut and I went home and told my mom I was going to marry you.” He let out an empty laugh, so different from his usual warm and bright ones. You couldn't laugh with him, unable to feel anything but numb disbelief. All this time, he's been in love with you? Through all the fights, the piggyback rides, the midnight adventures, and you couldn't see it? “Jungkook, I-” you started to say, but you trailed off leaving the empty sentence hanging there in the air. “[Y/N] look, I know you don't feel the same way. Trust me, I know. All I want is to keep being by your side. I'm not asking you for anything more or less, just please I can't lose my best friend.” You saw the desperation in his eyes, his outstretched arms begging to touch you. “Jungkook, I don't think I can do this,” you whispered, pulling away. Your mind was in overdrive, you couldn't comprehend anything that was happening. “Please, god [Y/N], don't do this. We can forget about this, please just forget you ever heard anything.” But you couldn't, you couldn't forget the way his eyes looked into you yours. You couldn't forget the long looks he's always given you, and the hidden meaning behind the affectionate touches you always assumed were platonic. You couldn't forget how much you've hurt him over the years. “Jungkook,” you said, tears starting to form in the corner of your eyes, “I’m so sorry. All these years, I didn't know, I ignored your feelings and just-” You stopped, unable to continue talking as he rushed forward to hold you in his arms. “No [Y/N], this is all my fault,” he cried, his voice cracking with each word, “I never wanted you to find out this way.” You both stood there, arms clutching each other tightly. You cried because you loved each other but in different ways. You couldn't see him the way he wanted you to, you couldn't be his happily ever after. The world should have never been so cruel. You cried because he gave you his heart, and you shattered it into pieces. “Jungkook, I love you,” you whispered, and you flinched at the way his entire face lit up, “but not in the way you need me to.” The reaction was instantaneous, and you felt your heart break right along with his, as his entire face darkened, and he held his head down. “I understand,” he whispered, letting you go. You sighed, wiping your eyes and moving away. Today has been a long day, and you just needed to get home and relax. You turned around to begin your walk to the dance studio, where you left your things. Before you could move more than two steps forward, you felt strong arms wrap around your waist. “Jungkook…” You warned, feeling his head rest on your shoulder. “I'll wait for you [Y/N], no matter what,” he promised, “I'm not making you choose me, and I know you don't feel the same way. But I want you to know, my heart will always belong to you. So until you're ready, and even if you never are, I'll never see anyone but you.” You could hear the sad smile in his voice and your heart ached. You couldn't help but feel guilty for breaking the beautiful boy in behind you. “Jungkook I-” “Don't say anything [Y/N], just let me hold you for a bit more. Then I promise i’ll go back to being the old me. Please.” How could you deny him that? You both stood there in silence, his arms wrapped around you so tight you were worried he would never let go. When he finally did, you couldn't help but feel a strange feeling come over you, a feeling that you've never felt with anyone else. “Okay, let's go!” He said giving you a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes and dragging you along behind him. You pushed the feeling down before allowing yourself to be pulled along.