#cause it got inflamated and stuff
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If you want you can send me asks telling me who your fav ship is or a request to draw one of this ships!! (Green is family not ship) but it may take a while (read tags below)
Anyway im loving this show so much, even tho i havent finished it, that i will make an outfit swap with chaggie and wenclair soon and maybe some screen redraws with them too, but i will also draw some of the ships of the show itself.
#i havent been doing any fanart cause im in the hospital rn#im gonna get my apendix removed#cause it got inflamated and stuff#and it hurts like a bitch#emilute#chaggie#huskerdust#radioapple#vox x valentino#carmella x rosie#sir pentious x cherri bomb#hazbin hotel#hazbin alastor#lucifer morningstar#charlie morningstar#hazbin vaggie#hazbin emily#hazbin lute#hazbin angel dust
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Chronically ill fan here! Iâm currently having a costochondritis flare up because I overworked myself. (My sternum cartilage is inflamed and uncomfortable) All I want is cuddles and kisses and to be taken care of while I try to sleep it off. Could I possibly get romantic Sebastian and fem chronically ill reader where Sebastian cares for her during a costochondritis flare if thatâs okay?
You donât have to do any research on costochondritis either. At surface level itâs just inflammation and pain mainly in the sternum/rib area that can be aggravated by heavy lifting
Chronically ill representation in readers is rare and Iâve never seen costochondritis rep.
I hope this is okay! Thank you so much!
As someone who is also chronically ill, I felt this in my bones. I got you
Sensitive, Sensitive
Pairings: Sebastian Solace x Fem!Chronically ill!Reader
Au: Classic
Warnings: Pet Names (Sunshine, Love)
âęˇâ Í Í âŕžŕ˝˛âŕ¨ŕ§âŕžŕ˝˛â Í Í âęˇââęˇâ Í Í âŕžŕ˝˛âŕ¨ŕ§âŕžŕ˝˛â Í Í âęˇâ
âPlease- watch your hands.â You whine as Sebastian goes to pick you up. The additional pushing from his palms making your bones feel like theyâre going to crack under all that pressure. You already felt like you werenât intaking enough air, though youâre sure you are. That and the pain that youâd once almost worried couldâve been a heart attack waiting to happen? Yeah you didnât need any more pain. You knew about your flare ups, knew you shouldnât push yourself too hard, and youâd gone and done it anyway. Was it a bad idea? Yes but youâve got to survive down here somehow, youâre not gonna eat if you lay around all day.
Your boyfriend, Sebastian, on the other hand already looked concerned. His hands taking the heavy box you were carrying right out from your grasp. His gaze flicking around the multitude of snacks youâd ripped out from vending machines in your desperation. You mustâve brought in at least several boxes of the stuff and while he hadnât been too worried at first, the pained breaths you made sure changed his mind now. Your hand came up to almost attempt to soothe the ache with gentle rubbing, and maybe it helped a little but not nearly enough. Still you turned, getting ready to go back out with a new box when Sebastian coiled his tail around your legs and hips.
âNot so fast.â He hums, placing the box to the side and leaning down to your height.
âAnd what do you think youâre doing?â
âIâm going back out? Iâm not done emptying the-â
âYouâre done now.â
âWhat?â
âI said, youâre done now. Come on, Sunshine, weâre laying down.â Heâs careful to lift you up. This time avoiding the area causing you the most pain. Heâs gentle, lifting you up by the hips and gently pressing you against his oddly comfortable body. His snake-like form slithering into the backroom and right up to your makeshift bed. Although it certainly wasnât as comfortable as the ones at home, it would do. It always did. He was gentle when he laid you atop the mattress and tugged a thicker, comfortable blanket over top of you. His body sliding up against you, wrapping himself as close to you as possible. You attempt to wiggle out only the once before giving in, in far too much pain to wrestle yourself free this time.
âWeâre going to lay in bed until you feel better.â
âItâs probably not going to go away for a while, and the pain isnât going to fully subside anyway. You have to work- itâs all you do. You donât have to lay here with me just because Iâm hurting.â
âY/N, I donât mind laying with you at all. Why would I?â He softens and tilts your head to him. His lips pressing against yours as gently as he can, soft and sweet before pulling back from you. The fins on the sides of his head doing that cute little wiggle youâd grown so accustomed to seeing.
âIâm supposed to keep you safe, that includes from yourself. Youâre not going to overwork yourself any further than you already have. What you are going to do though is rest.â An arm wraps around your waist, another combs through your hair and the third functions as a comfortable pillow for you.
âYouâre sure I can just lay down here for a while?â
âYouâre being an idiot, why would I be upset at you for resting?â He hits you with immediate sass and playfully nips at your jaw. His hand that lays over your hip rubs slow little circle against it.
âYou donât have to be a dick.â
âIâm not, I just know you arenât always the brightest crayon in the box. I donât want you hurting, Love. Now quiet down a bit and get some rest, hm? Iâll be right here when you wake up.â
#Sebastian Solace#Sebastian#Sebastian Pressure#Pressure Sebastian#Pressure#Pressure Roblox#Roblox Pressure#Reader#x Reader#Reader insert#Player#x Player#Player Insert#You#x You#You insert#Sebastian Solace x Reader#Sebastian Solace x Player#Sebastian Solace x You#Fanfiction#Fanfic#Sebastian Solace ask box#Ask Box#Monster fucker#Romance#Fandom#Fish Man#Sebastian Shoelace#Writing#chronically ill
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Distraction: Jason Todd x fem!reader
Summary : You can;t get over your ex and your best friend Jason is kind enough to be your toy to distract you from those thoughts.
warnings: SMUT! MINORS DNI!!, swearing and bad night choices.
***
âSon of a ......!â
It was 2 AM. Y/N was hanging in her friendâs apartment since her own was kindly flooded by her neighbours and was currently awaiting renovation.
Yes, she was supposed to sleep, but instead she reached for that stupid phone and her stupid brain made her do things she definitely shouldnât have done. Not only at this hour, but like ever.
âStupid idiotic fucker!â she hissed again.
âWhat you doing, nerd?â Jason, freshly out of patrol and out of his Red Hood gear leaned on the doorframe observing her carefully with a stern expression.
âDonât worry the word was not aimed at you. This time.â She smirked, not stopping angrily scrolling through the page.
Jason smirk grew even wider when he approached the couch and sat down next to her.
âWhose name are you typingâŚ..?â he asked innocently but Y/N knew better than to fall for that.
âNone of your businessâŚ..â she muttered, but before she could finish the sentence he grabbed her phone and tossed her into the other room.
âJASON!!!â she jumped off the couch terrified by his action.
âWhose name were you typing?â he grabbed her by the waist preventing her from moving.
âWHAT THE FUCK!?â her inflaming enabled her to break free from his iron grip and she rushed to the bedroom immediately to assess the damage her phone sustained âwhat is wrong with you!?â
Despite her anger however, she could not beat the vigilante trained skills, speed and agility, so obviously Jason beat her in the race, quickly grabbing the device from the floor and holding it above her head easily while running through her DMs, texts and social media.
âJASON!!â
He had already found what heâs been looking for but it didn;t mean he was going to surrender that fastly.
âItâs a violation of privacy!!â
He didnât let go. If anything his grip on the phone only grew harder as he stayed silent for the moment reading something, while his face was growing darker with every other message he came across.
âGive! It! Back!â poor Y/N was significantly lower than Jason so she tried to retrieve her property by jumping next to him like a little enraged kangaroo, yet failing miserably.
âYouâre not getting this phone back anytime soon, Y/N.â he put the object on the highest shelf, completely out of her reach crossing his arms and looking at her sternly âYou got some explaining to do.â
âFuckâŚ.â She hissed
He said nothing, his blue piercing eyes focused on her, knowing well enough she would break soon. He could smell the guilt coming from the girl from a mile away.
âFine!â she threw her hands in the air in frustration plumping on the bed, ruffling the sheets in the process. âFine! I was stalking my ex. Kind of.â
âAnd why exactly would you do that?â he smirked but the intensity in his tone skyrocketed to 200 %. This was serious. Y/N was his friend. His best friend and the things sheâs been doing lately was not good for her mental health. Â And he could not have that.
She sighed deeply and fell on the bed on her back facing the ceiling, knowing she lost this round. Once Jason set his mind to something he was not going to let go. And apparently what he said his mind to at this moment was getting the answer out of her. Obviously lying was not an option, cause he was like a human lie detector (which sometimes made her wonder whether it was another aftermath of the Lazarus Pit)
âcome on, Y/N. tell me. You know I take those stuff personally.â Jason muttered falling on the bed next to her, on his stomach propping himself on the elbows so he could look at her face.
âBecause my stupid mind wonât let me restâŚ..â she sighed, closing her eyes.
âHey, you do realise Iâm here right?â his gaze and voice softened a bit. He always appreciated when people were honest with him. âIf you feel like venting, ranting or even just talking Iâm your man. Just please, for fuckâs sake donât sneak around pretending like youâre good when you do stuff that are far from good. I wonât have thatâ
âYeah well my body wonât let me rest eitherâŚâŚâ she blurted.
âYour body?â he raised an eyebrow in surprise, getting a bit curious of what she was going to say next.
âYeah and I canât even use my toy hereâŚ..â she cut out, her eyes growing wide realising what she just said.
He smirked.
She blushed.
ShitShitShitShitShitShitShitShitShitShitShitâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ
âOh, god⌠that came out wrongâŚâŚâ
âOh no⌠please, continue.â he grinned, his eyes sparkling with mischief
âScrew you, ToddâŚ..â she grabbed a pillow, putting it tightly onto her face and letting out a frustrated groan. âYouâre mocking very personal matters here!â
âDid you just say youâre lusting over your ex?â he grinned, not even trying to hide how hilarious this whole situation was to him.
âNO!â she jumped and sat up facing him, her face being a mix of fluster and outrage.
âOh you so did!â his grin grew even wider
âStop it!â
âYou said and I quote â my mind and my body wonât let me rest. Canât deny it now.â Jason scooted a little bit closer to her, clearly playing with her.
âI didnât say I was lusting over my ex! I justâŚ. doâŚâŚ generallyâŚ..â Y/N muttered to herself but obviously he heard that loud enough.
âOh, really?â Jason raised an eyebrow not ready to drop the teasing. âSo it's a general attraction to the human body of your ex?â
âNO!â
âYou sureâŚ.?â He trailed his tone changing into a bit deeper, more hoarse as he looked into her eyes.
âYesâŚ..?â she tried to be convincing but out of nowhere it came out a bit like a question. She couldnât for the love of god figure out why that gaze of his got her shivering a little bit.
âSo who is this person that you are attracted toâŚ..?â he moved a little closer to her, grabbing her hand and playing with her fingers. âDo I know him, perhapsâŚ..?â he leaned forward and whispered in her ear, his breath on her face and neck making her skin tingle.
âStop itâŚâŚâ she warned, closing her eyes, wanting to push him away and end that silly little game they were playing, but finding herself completely unable to.
âStop what, princessâŚâŚ?â he paused pulling back to look at her again, his eyes sparkling, corners of his mouth lifting slightly at the blush creeping on her cheeks. âThe flirting? The closeness? Teasing you about your ex?â
âJaceâŚâŚâ she almost moaned as she felt the warmth radiating from his presence, so close to her, her body aching for his touch, his kiss, caress, anything. Poor girl didnât even realise how touch starved she was since the break-up with her ex. Not until now.
âY/NâŚâŚ?â Jason asked, his voice turning a bit more caring and serious as he watched her body tense and shiver and her breath hitching. âY/NâŚâŚ, princessâŚ.. â he cupped her cheek forcing her eyes on his face âHow long has it been since the break up?â
âA⌠a couple monthsâŚ..â she breathed out, her body getting a mind of its own, much to her embarrassment. It was truly pathetic to turn into a puddle just because of a sexual teasing from Jason Todd and a few caresses. She was too old to act like a silly teenager whoâs been touched for the first time. But she just couldnât help it.  Â
The silence that fell between them when she stuttered those two words was deafening and she cursed herself internally. God, he wouldnât let her live it down. Heâll make fun of her mercilessly and leave her alone to deal with the fire thatâs currently burning inside her. The fire that she knew well enough couldnât be satisfied with her toys of her fingers. And that realisation was overwhelming. Poor Y/N was barely holding herself from desperate whimpers. But she couldnât have had Jason laughing at her current state.
âY/NâŚâŚâ he whispered tenderly and she let out a gasp, shocked by both his tone and her bodyâs reaction to his tone. âHave you been lonely this whole time?â his hand on her cheek was slowly starting to burn and the fact that he begun rubbing her skin was surely not helping at all.
âHmmmmâŚâ she whimpered, her shoulders slumping.
âThat definitely wasnât a noâŚâŚ.âhe grabbed her hand now and put it on his neck, letting her feel his body while simultaneously leaning forward to kiss her shoulder âI can change this whole lonely thing princessâŚ..â his mouth moved a bit higher, trailing over her neck and moving to that sensitive spot just below her ear.  Â
âIâŚ..IâŚâŚâ she stuttered and let out a single, quiet and soft moan when the tip of his tongue trailed over her earlobe, involuntarily clenching her thighs as well, already needing friction. It truly was embrassing giving herself to him on a silver platter âahâŚ.I âŚ.thinkâŚ..â
âYes, Y/N, baby? What do you thinkâŚâŚ?â he muttered kissing her cheek now and not stopping there. âBecause I think your body language speaks to me prettyâŚwell..âŚ. â he grabbed her other hand and put it on his chest letting her caress his still clothed body, letting her imagination run loose. Allowing all her little fantasies to come in her head. She looked so anxious of where this was going and yet so eager at the same time, not stopping him, while her fingers played with the material of his clothes.
âIâŚ..I need some distractionâŚ..â
âA distraction, huh? his voice dropped another octave, on purpose obviously. Jason definitely knew how to use his voice for his benefit and it drew Y/N like a moth to the flame. His hands landed on her thighs travelling up as he made sure to use just enough strength to made her feelâŚ.
âJaceâŚâŚâ she couldnât hold back another moan when those big strong hands reached for the hem of her shirt, lifting it just an inch to brush over her burning skin, that instantly covered with goosebumps, shiver running down her spine. Out of pure instinct she gripped his shoulders, her whole body moving slightly forward.
âI donât need batteries, princessâŚâ he murmured, grabbing her waist and pulling her on his lap in one swift motion not giving her any chance to object, not that she was going to. âI can be your toyâŚâŚâ his lips moved to the crease of her neck and shoulder, nibbling gently, enjoying all the little whimpers and moans she was making already and loving the way she was still fighting her own urges.
Jason wanted to break her, to give her good time, but he aimed to achieve that goal in a gentle way, thought the tender convincing, exposing her true needs. His hand slid though her hair, pulling her head back a little to move along her neck, licking the skin and getting another sound of pleasure.
âAhâŚmmmâŚJaceâŚ. Itâs lateâŚ.Weâre both tiredâŚ.. We shouldnât....â
âcome on, babyâŚ..â now he was biting on her earlobe â donât fight yourself⌠you want thisâŚ. You need this. And most importantlyâŚ..you deserve itâŚâŚ Iâve been there too, princessâŚ.. That's no shame.....Just let it happen.....â
Oh he was rightâŚ.. He was so freaking right. And he knew it.
âI can give you this distraction you so desperately craveâŚ..â he said while slowly laying her on her back, his body hovering over her âand so much more tooâŚ.â She could feel his breaths against the nape of her neck. His body shifted so that he was lying on top of her, waiting for an answer.
âNo feelings involvedâŚâŚ I donât need feelingsâŚ..â she moaned
âNo feelingsâŚ..â he whispered, slowly undoing the first button of her shirt, moving the collar aside and brushing his nose and lips over her collarbone.
âShitâŚ..â her back arched immediately.
âYou want to feel meâŚ..?â he kissed her briefly, giving her foretaste before pulling away and looking into her eyes âyou sure you want no feelings involved?â
âMmhh⌠yes⌠definitely. I donât need falling.â Y/N was getting desperate, tired of his charades and the whole foreplay. âItâs just sex, nothing moreâŚâŚâ
âMhmâŚ. AbsolutelyâŚ. Iâm just helping you out hereâŚ.. with not thinking. With distracting you.â
He brushed his lips against her ear, his breath hot on her exposed skin. âWhat if I say itâs more than a distraction? What if I mean this? What if I say I want you and I need you?â He paused and she could feel his fingers gently running down her neck.
âMhmhm......â she whimpered âI donât need feelings.....â
âOkay than baby.....â he pressed his whole body weight onto her, lips finding the pulse point on her neck biting gently making sure to leave a hickey there, tip of his tongue flicking over the sting to ease the pain a bit. âLetâs forget about feelings..... It;s just physical releaseâ he moved his hands, down her body, tracing the skin over the hem of her sleeping shorts. âyouâre so tense baby.....â he brushed his nose down her clothed torso making her shudder âso tense, but I can ease that tension.....â his mouth hovered over the place his hands were tracing barely a minute ago.
And she couldnât form a single word, just waiting and wishing and hoping he would make that sweet promise come true for her.
âSay it Y/N......â he kissed her stomach âJust say you want this and I can take care of the rest..... Do you want this princess?â his hands dived under her shirt, travelling all the way up to her breast, smirking when he touched her bare breast, squeezing the sensitive part of her.
âMhmm.. shit!â she could feel the heat between her legs, the evidence of her wetness on full display since her shorts did nothing to hide it.
âDo....you.... want... this?â he teased mercilessly starting to play with her nipples.
âYes......â she finally breathed out, her mind turning off
But it was not enough for Jason. He had to hear her beg for him. He was going to do everything she wanted but had to have his fun as well. So instead of fulfilling her needs he pressed his  body more onto her, letting her feel how big and hard he already was. His lips hovered over hers, his fingers leaving her breast and moving to the lower buttons playing with them but not doing anything more than that
âThatâs all I need to know, sweetness. Do you want this? Say it again.â
âJace.....please.....â
He pressed his lips to hers, hard, brushing his hard on over her most sensitive part, smirking when she opened her legs a bit more and matched his movement.
It was only dry humping but they both knew how close to their limits of fooling around they were. Y/N was ready to beg for him and he was ready to surrender and finally shift all her attention to her body needs and not her thoughts.
âtell me you want me.....â he breathed heavily into her ear
âI..... I want you to help me out......â
âOh, my sweet baby.... Iâll do so much more than that.....â he pulled her shorts down in one swift motion leaving her bottom completely bare, licking his lips at the view in front of him. âIâll make you scream....â he spread her legs holding her thighs open so she wouldnât dare changing position. âIâll make you squirm and forget about your ex and whole world. Iâll give you the pleasure you never felt before.â he leaned leaned down and nuzzled his nose into her inside thigh, brushing it up to her most sensitive part, his eyes still focused on her, shining with lust and desire. âTell me you want that.....â he licked the spot that was already aching for attention, the taste so sweat his eyes almost rolled to the back of his skull.
âYES!â she moaned, just that one tiny movement making her break completely.
She was lost.
Lost to him. Â
âGood girl....â he muttered getting down to business.
Before she realized what was happening, her legs were already on his shoulders and he was sucking, flicking and licking in all the right places focused only on making his previous words come true. He was going to make her feel as good as never before (and probably never after). It was not his intention to show off, but she knew that with all this skill he was currently presenting, making her clit burn and her whole body shiver he was going to wreck her for anyone else.
She moaned when he pushed against her folds.
She pulled at his hair when he started to eat her out.
He buckled her hips and practically fucked herself on his face when he add the fingers and started pumping in and out in a perfect pace, slowly, methodically pushing her to the climax. Â
She was reduced to the form of a moaning mess with each move, each brush, each caress.
âfuck....!â she scratched his scalp and he let out a groan sending a wave of pleasure through her pussy he was currently devouring âfuck... fuck, yes....!â
There was no more games, no more teasing. He was going to fuck her brains out. Just like she wanted, even though the poor girl had no idea what it meant when he first offered. She was going to remember his touch for a very, very long time, if not forever.
Their bodies took the steering wheel completely.
Y/N was begging and crying and sobbing.
Jason was giving and taking all at the same time, his cock throbbing in his jeans when he pushed her legs further apart and closer to her chest to get better access to her center.
God, she was delicious, Everything about her was perfect. Her body, her moans, her shivering, her pulling at his hair.... and god... her taste.
He had to keep his control to not cum in his pants at the thought he was the one making her feel like this. She was his. Everything about her was his at the moment and he was not going to waste any piece of his treasure.
It was perfect. Fucking perfect.
Except from one thing.
âJace!!â she cried out, throwing her head back, ready for what was coming.
âNo.....â he panted, pulling back and looking at her.
At that moment he didnât look anything like the Jace she knew.
He looked like a fucking predator ready to take what he wanted.
What he needed.
And the way his eyes was so lust blown made her wanting, needy and even wetter. âNo, princess. Youâre not gonna come on my tounge or fingers... No..... Iâm going to give you something so much better.
He practically ripped her shirt of her, exposing her completely, taking a second to enjoy her naked body on full display. Only for him. Just a second though, before throwing his own shirt away and attacking her chest.
She was on fire.
With the way he was biting all over her breasts with no mercy, rubbing, twisting and pinching her skin she just surrendered completely wrapping arms around him, digging nails into his back muscles only spurring him on with that gesture.
She wanted to beg for more, to cry, to scream his name but the intensity left her breathless, wordless, turned into a puddle with no words coming. The only thing she was capable of was panting and gasping, matching his movement, letting her body speak for her when he squirmed and flexed into his lips, tongue and teeth.
âJ-J-J......â
âYes.... Iâm here baby....... Bet you could never get that with your toys, huh?â he sucked on her right nipple, twisting it with his tongue, abusing it, almost to the point of hurting but at this point of sexual drive and need she couldnât care less, tangling fingers into his hair, pressing his head closer, wanting more and more...
He repeated the action with another nipple, making sure both of them were equally red and pebbled before releasing the other with a loud pop.
âhow does that feel, baby?â he whispered âare you ready for the best part.....?â he didnât wait for her answer, checking himself, his fingers brushing over her folds, gathering the slick and spreading it all over her entrance.
âJace.... Jay.. Â please....please.....!
âShhh, baby....â he pulled back to remove his jeans his hard and thick cock finally free, aching to dive inside her soft, warm and wet body. He grabbed the condom, opening it with his teeth while still looking into her eyes which turned her on even more and capably put it on.
He clearly had experience but it was not her worry of how many girls he had before. She only wanted his body, nothing more. That was what they agreed on. Â âI told you Iâm your toy...... Now you can use me.....â
Jason didnât waste another second taking her with one movement, bottoming out with ease, stretching her so deliciously they both moaned loudly at the feeling. But there was not time to rhapsodize. This was neither love nor intimacy to take any admiration breaks and whisper sweet nothigns to each other.
This was release and they only wanted to achieve the high.
So he started pushing without hesitation. In and out, in and out, fast, hard, relentlessly, the grip on her waist becoming so amazingly painful, definitely leaving bruises. His lips ended on her neck adding to the stimulation ready to give her all of him. Jason wanted her to feel every little thing she was missing for the last couple months.
But when his mouth travelled up and collided with hers his thought suddenly changed.
It was not just sex for him.
He didnât just want to be her toy, her distraction.
He wanted her.
The warmth of her body, the tenderness of her touch, the taste of her soft lips, her moans and whimpers, yes.
But he also wanted her love.
And it was bad.
Cause that was not what she needed.
She said it: no feelings, no falling.
And the realization that he was not going to get what he wanted made him act erratic and a bit violent. Â He bit on her bottom lip, hard enough to draw blood, but not stopping even when the metallic taste of it invaded his mouth. If anything it only made him more predatory kissing her with desire, unspoken need and unprecedented urgency while his hips was snapping relentlessly and he kept thrusting inside her.
He could die like that from the intensity and judging by the way her body was shuddering from the building orgasm she was not opposed to doing the same.
But he couldnât let her choke, forced to leave her mouth and allow Y/N to breathe, instead moving to kiss and bit her neck.
If he couldnât have her as his girl he was going to take her as his lover and use the opportunity to the maximum possibility.,
âY/n.....â he groaned biting the sensitive skin, almost ripping her throat open.
âJace...!â she cried out in response.
She was getting so close, so close and yet still greedy for more. Each snap of his hips send the wave of euphoria through her body, the feeling incomparable with anything, her body moving in line with the pace he set. They were on a highway to release now and as we all now, you can't turn around on the highway. There';'s only one way.
Forward.
And so they did. Speeding up even more, biting, scratching, touching, going at rough animalistic pace, not caring, not thinking, focused solely on release, making the bed shake and crack repeatedly.
âFuck....!â she moaned feeling everything all at once, raking nails down his back, arching her whole body, feeling the band inside her on the verge of snapping, her body so ready to cum. "fuck... so good....!"
âyeah... fuck indeed....â he gasped. "you feel amazing, princess....." but If she was still able to talk then he was definitely doing something wring and had to add to the pleasure.....
âAH! Jace....â he screamed when he focused some additional attention on her clit, rubbing it with the perfectly practised motion. âyes.... yes.... yes.... yes!!â
âFuck.... Y/N......, baby.....â
âYes...!!â
âJust let go baby.....â he breathed out. God please let her come before I finish first... Jason thought to himself.
He was never the religious one, but it seemed like this time his prayers were answered when Y/Nâs body tensed and released, once she cried out his name, finally exploding around him and he wished he could fuck her raw and actually become one with her.
Maybe in another life.
This was only fucking.
And he was letting her use him until she found someone new.
But definitely not better than him.
Her body finally got what it desperately needed and he couldnât hide the smirk while pulling out and getting rid of the condom.
However, maybe it was a good thing she didnât see how full of his come it was, cause with her intelligence and ability to connect the dots, she would figure out that what they just did might have meant more to him than to her.
It was better she didnât know.
Or at least that was what he was trying to convince himself of when he helped her clean herself up and wrapped her in a blanket, putting an arm around her and pulling her close to his chest.
And staying awake while she slowly fell asleep, feeling satisfied in safe in her best friend embrace.
She stopped thinking, for sure.
But his mind was only begging to work.
Against him.
But still - It was so much better she didn't know what he truly felt.
@miraculous-panic I'm sorry, I just felt the insuperable urge to post it immediately.
#jason todd x reader#red hood x reader#jason todd smut#red hood smut#jason todd x y/n#red hood x y/n
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As much as i love raphael, i really just need Haarlep and mephistopheles to destroy me and mock me. Love your darker fics involving the two đ¤ didnât know I had a noncon kink until I read your stuff đŤŁ.
ËĘâĄÉË Mephistopheles' New Pet ËĘâĄÉË
⥠Dark Content
âËâĄSummary: Haarlep has their way with you in Raphaelâsbody, mocking yours and the Devilâs love you once had. Little did you know, Haarlep was simply warming you up for Mephistopheles.
âËâĄPairings: Mephistopheles x F!Reader/Tav x Haarlep
âËâĄContent: NSFW - NONCON - MAJOR ANGST
⥠Notes: I got you my lovely anon!! Hope this scratches your kink even more xoxo loving this love for Mephistopheles & Haarlep!!!
Haarlep forcefully grabbed you by the hair, causing your back to arch uncontrollably as their cock- no what they were using as theirs⌠repeatedly entered and exited your well used sex. âSuch an obedient little pup,â Haarlep cruelly taunted, mocking the pet name Raphael had given you.
You clenched your teeth, mustering the strength to retort, âFuck you, Haarlep!â
They feigned disappointment, âAwh, thatâs not very nice of you, pup.â their sharp teeth peek from their wide grin as they gripped your hair with more might, their nails digging into your scalp. With a forceful motion, Haarlep shoved your face into the icy floor, their other hand firmly on the back of your neck.
You whimpered as Haarlep continued to thrust into you while using Raphaelâs form, your inner thighs stinging from the relentless abuse, your pussy raw and inflamed. Haarlep found great pleasure in your discomfort, knowing that with Raphael dead, you were now completely at their mercy. Though Haarlep had to admit, doing this to you in his body was a bit in ill taste... However they couldn't deny what Mephistopheles asked for.Â
âCome now mouse, thereâs no reason to cry! I am him! All of him! Canât you feel it, itâs still his cock kissing your womb, throbbing, begging for release! For you to take all his seed and conceive a devilish spawn!â Haarelp laughs, âbahaha!âÂ
âH-Haarlep- Please! Iâm beg-begging you!â You cried out as Haarlep snapped their hips again, âNâ~ Please!! R-Raphael! Please stop talking about hi- *hicup*!!âÂ
A sob caught in your throat, Haarlepâs words cutting deeper than the physical pain. The sharpness of being taken without preparation, the coldness of your knees on the floor, your wrists bruised and lacerated from the enchanted chains wrapped around them⌠The sting from Haarlepâs teeth in your flesh, their claws mercilessly tugging- digging at your hair and scalp. Your tears fell faster as their pace quickened, the agony becoming unbearable.
The hand holding your neck down grabs your face, and they lean down further to bury their nose in the crook of your neck. Haarlepâs hot breath tickling your skin as their nose presses against you, inhaling your scent with a sick hunger. Their slick tongue gliding along the surface of your sweat drenched skin, leaving a trail of wetness in its wake.Â
A guttural groan escapes Haarlep's throat as they withdraw their mouth, âDon't stop now, my little pet," they continue to taunt, their voice filled with sadistic delight, âBe a good thing and keep begging for me, beg like the obedient puppy you are.â
You had no strength left to fight, no will to escape. Your tears stained the ground, your breath hot and labored, your body yearning for water, for Raphael to wisk you away... Slowly, you were withering away, your spirit broken, your hope shattered. You knew Haarlep and that bastard arch devil would keep you alive, youâd have to endure looking at Raphaelâs shell for the rest of your remaining lifeâŚÂ
Haarlep was on the brink of finishing yet again, their eyes closing at the feel of your forced wetness, your body naturally reacting. You might not like whatâs happening, but your body is surely enjoying the feel of âRaphaelâsâ cock, despite it not being truly his. You could feel yourself convulse and tighten around them, signaling your impending release. âThereâs no need to hide it, give yourself to me, enjoy the pleasures I have to offer.â
The incubus fed off what little pleasure your body was experiencing. After all, it was what incubi did best.Â
Whimpering, you whispered Raphael's name one last time, âRaphaelâŚâ hoping that somehow he would come to your rescue. Enraged that his incubus was violating his most treasured possession. But it was futile. He was gone, and nothing mattered anymore.
All you could do was pray to whichever god would listen. Closing your eyes, you begged for this nightmare to end, hoping that when you opened your eyes, Raphael would be by your side once more reading you his favorite poems. But no god seemed to be listening, for when you opened your eyes and turned your head slightly, Haarlep was still looming over you. Your eyes widened in terror as you saw behind them, there stood Mephistopheles. The very Arch Devil who had forced you into this hellish torment as soon as he finished consuming his own sonâŚ
Mephistopheles stared at you with a sadistic gleam in his eyes. He reveled in the sight of your brokenness, the despair etched across your face fueling his malevolence. Haarlep, sensing Mephistophelesâs presence, paused their assault, allowing you a brief moment of respite.
âAh, my dear, you thought you could escape my grasp, didn't you?â Mephistopheles sneered, âBut you see, my little plaything, there is no escape from me. Not after you were the cause of my own son's death!âÂ
Despite how you felt moments ago, your body had regained its control, its anger. How dare he! How dare he accuses you, âYou fucking-!â You hissed.Â
All it took were the words that released from his mouth and Haarlep's pause that allowed you a moment to gather your scattered thoughts and channel the wyvern inside you, âI had nothing to do with Raphael's death!â You continued, your body no longer trembling from pain or fear but from pure wrath, âYou're the one who orchestrated this twisted game, using your son and I as pawns in your sick plan!â A crazed laugh escaping you, âAnd look! You still donât have the crown back in your possession!! Only a foolish mortal that fell in love with your son and a lowly incubus!â
Mephistopheles' presence casted a dark shadow over the room. âYou thought Raphael could save you, didn't you? Thought he would stand back up on his two feet and cradled you in his arms.â he taunted, âBut Raphael is gone, my dear. I gave him a chance, a gift to ascend and he failed even at that. He couldn't protect himself, just as he couldn't protect you.â Mephistopheles chuckled, âI see all, I know all, and I enjoyed watching your love for my son grow, enjoyed watching as you helped him try to gain the crown. I could hardly contain myself when the opportunity arose to tear you two apart.â
He moved closer, his shadow engulfing you. His mere presence made your blood run cold. You had no choice but to stare into his fiery, red eyes, which glowed with a mixture of hatred and desire. Your heart was pounding so loudly that you could barely hear the words he spoke next.
âIt is time for you to recognize your new master, little mouse.â
Haarlep chuckled and resumed thrusting, this time at an even more brutal pace. The pain was so intense that you could no longer think, your body going numb as your consciousness began to fade. At least youâd finally be able to rest as they did what they wished⌠or so you thought. That was until Mephistophele knelt down behind you, his clawed hands grasping the sides of your head.
As soon as you felt his touch, a strange sensation surged through your entire body. It was as if you were being pulled into his mind, his very soul. You could see him standing before you, a dark and twisted version of Raphael. And thatâs when he snapped his hips forward, his thick, devilish cock stretching your once tight little asshole. You could feel every inch of him, the way his cock dragged against your walls, the way his shaft throbbed inside you.
âYou're mine now, pet,â he growled, his voice dripping with lust, âMine forever."
Your body began to shake uncontrollably, your pussy convulsing around Haarlep. Mephistopheles groaned, his grip on your head tightening, âBy the hells, you really are quite exquisite.â The sharp ridges scraped the inside of your anus, âitâs no wonder why my son kept you all to himself.â
Your orgasm came violently, your pussy squirting and pulsating as both fiends used your holes. You felt so drained, perhaps that was because of Haarlep draining your very soul, or maybe it was from the anguish you felt⌠You just came all over Haarlep and Raphaelâs father⌠You betrayed the devil you loved most, the devil who would never return.
You truly did belong to Mephistopheles now⌠You knew this was just the start of it all, knew that soon youâd be bearing him children. Knew that he would parade you around on a chain like some sort of pet, and use you however he wanted. This was your fate, and there was nothing you could do about it.
Mephistopheles released your head, and you fell limp atop of Haarlep. Tears streamed down your cheeks, but your body had no energy left to sob. The archdevil stood, his cock still lodged deep inside your ass, and stroked your hair gently. âYou're going to make a fine breeder, little mouse,â he whispered, âI canât wait for my son to see you swollen with his own fathers children.â
Your eyes widened, a new wave of fear coursing through you. Raphael was alive⌠And y-you were about to become his father's breeder.
Haarlep grinned at your sudden realization, and thrust into you once more. They savored the look of horror on your face, knowing that you had just discovered that your beloved devil was not dead after all.
#bg3#baldurs gate 3#raphael bg3#haarlep#baldurs gate#bg3 raphael#tav#raphael the cambion#raphael x tav#haarlep bg3#mephistopheles#Mephistopheles dnd#tw noncon
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Hey! This is my first time doing a request,i hope thats okay.
Can i have headcannons about all 4 clones of uppermoon reacting to a human female reader that is really sensetive to weather? Like when its raining or if its getting colder outside,having a bad headeache and during that time,sleeps all day and stays in bed
I hope that wasnt to much
Have a great day/night!
Omg I love that! Fun fact: my body is sensitive to when the weather changes to summer and my whole body becomes inflamed for a day or two when summer starts (I did them separately I am sorry if you didnât want them separate) Warnings: Swearing (Sekido), Slight sexual themes nothing in detail (Karaku)
Hantengu clones x human fem reader who is sensitive to weather!
Aizetsu
Aizetsu had just gotten home from a mission and was surprised when you didnât come greet him like you usually do
He went into the bedroom you two had shared to find you under 5 blankets and sleeping
It was winter yes and you were human but he never thought you would need so many blankets so he didnât think much of it
Until you woke up and looked really upset and annoyed
âDarlingâŚâŚ..is everything alright?â Aizetsu said calmly sitting down next to you
âI hate winterâŚâŚâŚâ you mumbled
âWhyâŚ?â Aizetsu said
âBecause I can never get warm and I have horrible headaches..â You said shoving your face into the pillow
Aizetsu nodded as he got into the futon you were laying in and pulled you close to him
âDâŚâŚdoes this help at allâŚ..?â He said slowly
You melted into his arms as he held you
He always managed to make you feel better even when you were at your hardest times
He would also get you stuff to heat yourself up with if you wanted
âYesâŚâŚ.it doesâŚâ you replied falling asleep in his arms
Sekido
It was raining that day so Sekido didnât go on a mission so he thought it was going to be a laid back day
Little did he know he would be taking care of you because of how cold it was
You were shivering on the couch under blankets but you were freezing
âWhy the fuck are you shivering so damn much? You have so many blankets on!â Sekido half yelled
âI-itâs really coldâŚâŚâ you said back
He only sighed getting up to go get something
You thought he left because he found your little issue annoying
But when he came back with a heating pad and put it on your forehead you knew he cared
You knew he didnât want you to say anything because he âdoesnât have a soft spot for youâ
But you knew that he cared so you stayed silent smiling because you knew he was just a big angry teddy bear that loved you
Karaku
It was pouring rain outside and it was cold but Karaku thought it was fine because he is barley ever cold
Little did he know his human girlfriend would be heavily affected by this
âLove!â You heard your boyfriend shout
You didnât get up out of bed or reply because you didnât want to cause anymore coldness getting to you
âLove? Why are you under so many blankets in bed?!â Karaku said getting his face really close to yours
âIâm coldâŚâŚâŚâ you replied sleepily
âWould you like me to warm you up?â Karaku said with a growing smirk on his face
You knew what he meant by that and you werenât totally opposed to the idea because it would make you warm
âKarakuâŚâŚ.not right nowâŚâŚ.we can laterâŚ.â You replied
After hearing your response Karaku climbed into bed with you and put you on top of his chest so you could hear his heartbeat
âThenâŚâŚ.Iâll hold you close to keep you warm.â He said teasingly
You didnât say anything as you slowly fell asleep
Urogi
It was winter and believe it or not Urogi was a little cold just like you
Urogi saw how you were shivering in bed due to the cold weather and understood because since he is part bird he knew what it felt like to be very cold in the winter
âBirdie! Do you want to cuddle with me!â Urogi said with a big smile on his face hoping you will say yes
You guys cuddled A LOT but you were never upset about it
You didnât say anything but you reached your arms out and did grabby hands at him so he understood that it was a yes
You saw his smile grow even wider at your response so he picked you up and laid you on his chest
He wrapped his arms around you but not only his arms but his wings
His wings were very warm when he wrapped them around you so you were very happy about it
âI love youâŚ..UrogiâŚ..thank youâŚ.â You said
Urogi yelled on accident, âI LOVE YOU TOO!â
(Sorry if they were to short)
#hantengu x reader#sekido#aizetsu#hantengu clones#hantengu#karaku#urogi x reader#urogi#kny urogi#aizetsu x reader#sekido x reader#karaku x reader#kny#demon slayer#kimetsu no yaiba
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whispers got any fun headcanons on any wordgirl characters⌠or maybe if youâre really crazy a whole wordgirl oc?⌠or even a au⌠fades into the shadows of anonymity
THE WAY I CACKLED AND SCREAMED AHAGAH
I will not miss this opportunity đŤĄ
Headcannons/theories:
for two brains (there is a lot)
The way Stevenâs brain is fused with squeakyâs caused part of his skull to crack off and while part actually popped off during the transformation, it also caused a fracture or two in his skull, so whenever the mouse brain pulsates, it is basically a mix of feeling like your head is going to explode, and the brain slightly pushing his skull, causing the fracture to never properly heal, because it gets slightly opened up again as it pulsates
another thing Iâd like to point out is I feel like two brains would occasionally black out and also have a seizure every once in a while due to the electricity during the transformation. This also goes with the fact that he also could get frequent nosebleeds too, if he injured his brain in a certain way.
Also, a hot take of mine is that 2 brains is basically just Steven, but being mostly forced/controlled by squeaky, and of course, his dna is modified too.
another hot take is that itâs only his scalp hair that turned white (maybe a salt and pepper mix everywhere else?idk) because his eyebrows are still brown, and in ballad of Steve mcclean, he is shown to have brown facial hair too, so maybe it was only what touched the helmet in the experiment to turn white, and the rest of the den was sort of scattered everywhere
As a more silly hc of mine, I like to think that squeaky likes to play silly games where he attempts to freak Steven out every once in a while, by causing auditory and visual hallucinations, but Steven later just gets used to it
Also, due to the change in eyes, heâs probably a little color blind, so I like to think that he sees colors the way the color settings were inside the hospital in the house md pilot episode, or maybe just having him see more in a slight grey scale? Idk
The way I like to think squeaky takes control is via brain stem, so itâs basically where the mouse brain still has the brain stem and spinal cord attached to it, and itâs braided and tangled with Stevenâs spinal cord, so if Steven and squeaky are fighting for control, it looks like two brains is fighting an invisible person in an arm wrestle or something.
Another hot take is that two brains is still able to remember everything as both Steven and two brains, so have fun with that one as you wish đ
also, the mouse brain is obviously anatomically incorrect, in both looks and scale, so my theory on how this was achieved was during the transformation, the mouse brain almost blew up due to the electricity, so the brain is basically very inflamed and bloated. As far as the brain wrinkles go, I like to think that squeaky was originally genetically modified before Steven buying him, causing the mouse to basically have the same brain as a human, and squeaky was actively seeking revenge
as far. As cheese goes, I like to think squeaky is really the only one enjoying the cheese, while Steven is purely sick of it, like where after the first month of being two brains, he was just done with cheese, but heâs basically addicted to it due to squeaky. Also, I like to think that two brains can hardly eat anything thatâs not cheese, and if he eats something thatâs not cheese, heâd have to put so much cheese on that food to the point where you canât even taste the stuff that isnât cheese. besides orange juice, because squeaky likes that stuff. In other words, I also think that if he were to put something thatâs not pure cheese in his mouth with the intention of eating it, heâd immediately throw up because squeaky doesnât like rebellion (squeaky read about famous dictators once pre-transformation and decided thatâs what he wanted to be)
also, because of only eating cheese, this is why he tries to have as wide of a variety as possible, to at least try and keep it a little interesting.
with that being said, I feel like if the mouse brain were removed, heâd probably puke at the sight of cheese, from how much he had to eat, and due to squeaky, even normal food would probably not be that appetizing either.
Also, in the show, he is built like a noodle, despite how much cheese he eats, so my theory is that he stays like this because the transformation made his metabolism go into overdrive, and usually, fast metabolism causes excess body heat, so if two brains were to take his lab coat off, you can literally use him as a radiator, because heâs gotta get that energy burnt off somehow lmao.
also, mice canât sweat, so unless unter extreme circumstances, heâs basically just chilling radiating heat like itâs nothing because this genetic trait somewhat transferred during the transformation
Also, throughout the show, he is seen multiple times to worry a lot about how people think about him, (prime example is the episode ballad of Steve mcclean, but also you can see little dribbles of this trait in invasion of the bunny lovers, fill in, wordgirl & bobble boy, and rat trap) and honestly I think this is caused because of the obvious genetic changes that happened, so he obviously gets a lot of stares and weird looks in public, due to his appearance, so imo, he gets that from his appearance.
Due to the cheese consumption this guy does, I feel like heâd definitely have some problems in his digestive tract, as well as a vitamin deficiency for obvious reasons đ
Also, I like to think that during the transformation, he was a week away from turning 30 (what a great way to start off your thirties XD)
Also, as far as Charlie and meatloaf, I have another hot take that they donât live in the warehouse, and only two brains lives there. Someone could protest on that because in the new year episode, they are seen to sleep in the warehouse, but I like to think this as more of a thing that they only do every once in a while when two brains is planning a crime that requires them to be there really early. So essentially, they basically work based off of when dr two brains calls them over for the scheme. as Steven
As Steven, I like to think that he had two tuxedo cats. A long haired tux cat named Dennis, and a shorter haired girl tux cat nicknamed mags in public, but is truly named plunger
he was certainly a cat person pre-transformation. Look at him. (You cannot change my mind)
I also like to think that he has a huge cage set up for the lab rats and mice that he had to work with, as he felt really bad for having to use them, so he tried his best to compensate by spending a butt ton on of money on spoiling the rats, and getting a big place for them to stay. (I also am convinced he would name them after the first thing he sees them do, but doomed to the worst way possible, so he named a lab rat piss finger, or Ricky pee pee, and he has a whole long story on how he decided to name the lab rats those names
i like to feel like he was in a science trio with tubing and doohickey, and they were probably great friends
honestly idk how much I agree with the hc I made, but Iâd like to feel like doohickey and Steven are probably cousins (blood related or not)
Iâve even pondered ideas like how I feel like Steven is a mix of Irish, Romanian, and maybe a little bit Italian (mother is Irish, and dad is an Italian Romanian mix)
also, I feel like Steven was actually friends with lrw when she was Beatrice, and theyâd have some long conversations while he is having his science research copied and stuff
also, I like to think that he and Huggy were good friends,too, and would discuss ways to help wordgirl fight crimes sometimes
I feel like Steven and amazo guy were really good friends and the two would have karaoke night at least once a week, and theyâd prolly also chill a lot cracking beers and playing with Stevenâs cats and stuff like that.
I feel like he has a phd in engineering, some form of degrees in both biology and chemistry, and a minor in culinary arts
this man can make the best food in the world, but the way he makes it will make Gordon Ramsay cry
has an o
Charlie
The reason Charlie doesnât talk is either due to nonverbal autism, or a certain condition that causes him to not be able to talk.
either way, Charlie is so silly and honestly I feel like two brains has a soft spot for him(same bro, same)
I like to feel like he is more of a silent observer, like heavy from tf2
amazo guy
Honestly, I like the hc that people think his name should be Adam so much to the point where sometimes I forget itâs not cannonđ
so yeah, his name is Adam
i like to think he also came from lexicon, but on his own accord when he was 21.
he has the same language powers as wordgirl, but just doesnât make them his main focus.
hes obsessed with pizza and pizza rolls. He would literally rather have a pizza party by the city than 1million dollars.
he was actually fighting alongside wordgirl, and teaching her how to deal with villains until about a month before Steven turning into two brains
he ended up leaving to go and help another city , because she thought wordgirl was ready to fight the villains herself.
i like to think that he was an extreme back street boys and David Bowie fan, and whenever there was a ceremony for him, star man would certainly be playing
he secretly loves the song baby one more time by Britney Spears, but will tell no one
he is more of a dog person, and words cannot describe how badly he wants a golden retriever or German shepherd
wordgirl
She made it to earth with huggy when she was about 9 months old
the reason why lexiconians are so good with reading is that lexiconians use their powers to travel to neighboring planets and galaxies to help others in need, and they achieve this by being able to hyper-adapt to any different language, like to where the average lexiconian can learn Russian fluently in just a week
hot take but lexionite itâs doesnât come from lexicon, but an enemy planet trying to make a weakness (I say this because it doesnât make sense to have something from her home planet be her weakness, so itâs basically a hc of mine to not go bonkers over that lmao)
wordgirl is fluent in many other languages, like French, polish, Spanish, and mandarin
Due to her high iq, she still has the energy of a kid her age, although the mental age of a 30 year old, which is why she is so good at talking with other adults
Near perfect memory (why she can remember how she got to earth
early 10 year old at the time the show starts, and either young 12 year old, or almost 12 towards the end of the show
#word girl#dr two brains#steven boxleitner#amazo guy#charlie wordgirl#Gonna reblog with more info#I hit the max character limit lmao
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Okay wait so we all know the Bruce dating Batman bit- but say his kids follow in his footsteps. Its a horrible cover, but they're all idiots so whatever. Dick openly flirts with Nightwing on camera, and when heâs Nightwing heâll purposefully wink and blow a kiss at Dick. Jason was caught with a Red Hood helmet one time and because he was blushing so furiously at getting caught everyone was like âawww hes dating Red Hood!!!â and everyone was like âwow theyre so paradoxical- jason is a lil bean and Red Hood is a demonâ and after a bit jason staged a kidnapping and then saved himself and the fans went wild. Steph is openly in a polyamourous relationship with both spoiler and Orphan- cass is dating Spoiler and everyone wants to know if she knows that her lover is cheating on her with Stephanie Brown and Orphan but everyone is too afraid to ask, Tim is dating both Red Hood and Nightwing and Red Robin at one time because Jason is the one who saves him from getting kidnapped the most, Dick choses to bond with him while in the suit and one time damian couldn't find his suit so he wore Timâs and everyone now just thinks Tim is the Batfamilyâs whore pretty much, Damian is dating robin and this has never been like proven or even seen but everyone in Gotham just decided that naturally the youngest wayne has to date the youngest bat- and in order to inflame the rumors- and as payback for when damian wore his suit- tim sometimes will dress in his old robin outfit and scoop damian into his arms at galas or something. Babs is obviously dating Oracle, she could have kept it perfectly hidden she is the batfams only braincell, but she chose to let it get caught on camera that she was texting herself cute things and so everyone knows barbara gordon is dating oracle now. Theyre all a bunch of morons and the only reason they havent been found out yet is because all of Gotham is a simp for the Bats and the Waynes dating and if anyone ever says anything online about the Waynes being the Bats someone will comment âno cause literally if its fake ill never believe in loveâ and stuff like that so miraculously its still a thing but everyone's favorite couple is still Batman and Bruce Wayne. (in part because its who they get the most coverage on because all of Bruceâs kids love fucking with him and dressing in the suit to come save him, even alfred does it sometimes, and they got Selina a batman suit too so there was once a front page cover photo of Batman kissing Bruce Wayne in public in front of almost everyone at a Gala so yeah its confirmed)
#batfam#theyre all idiots#but we love them#batfamily#bruce wayne#batman#i am not listing all of them sry#batkids
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A Little Support
[Wrecker x Medic!reader, warnings for mentions of medical issues, other than that just fluff! Oh, established situationship, kinda, nothing too lovey dovey. I write with a female reader in mind but try and keep it gender neutral so tell me if I mess up.]
âHunterrrrr.â You smiled slightly as you hear Wreckerâs groan from the hall. Hunter had called earlier, said he wanted you to look Wrecker over. The bad batch had no real medic, so finding proper care was hard.
âCâmon big guy, theyâre your favorite.â You snorted quietly at Hunterâs coaxing tone. âYou were so sore after this last mission you could hardly lift your arms. Theyâre just gonna check and make sure you havenât pulled anything.â
Wrecker huffed, and rolled your eyes. Pressing a button on the desk you opened the door to your small private workspace. Wrecker jumped a little at the suddenness, but Hunter just rolled his eyes.
âYou boys gonna sit out there arguing all day or come in.â You sass, standing up and walking over to the exam table crammed into a corner, unrolling a fresh layer of tissue paper on top. Hunter patted Wreckerâs shoulder.
âGo on, Wrecker. Iâve got some paperwork to finish.â He started to walk away, leaving a slightly bewildered Wrecker.
âYouâre not staying?â He called at Hunterâs back. You chuckled, fussing with a drawer full of instruments.
âOh come on, Wreck, I donât bite.â You smiled innocently at him.
âNo⌠you stab though.â He mumbled, walking over to the exam table and flopping down with a grunt, wincing a little and not even trying to hide it. âTechâs gotten enough sedatives to know that.â
âNo needles today, promise.â You march up to him and fold your arms. âStiffness in your shoulders, huh?â
Wrecker nods. âJust a little bit though. Itâs been worse. Long necks always brushed it off so I do too for thâ most part.â You frown a little. Kaminoans brushing something off? Especially a long term injury?
âArmor off, top half only.â You think, trying to remember if you knew where they were coming back from. âBlacks too, if youâre comfortable.â
Your frown deepened as he rolled down the top half of his blacks. Bruises and scrapes were dusted across his back, stretching all the way down to the bottom of his ribcage. His armor had taken the most of it, but it looked like he had been thrown pretty hard against something.
âMaker, Wreck! What happened? Did you have Tech look you over?â You asked, instantly grabbing a tube of bacta gel from the cabinet behind him.
âWall was in my way. Tech said it wasnât bad, just a deep⌠fancy word for bruising that starts with C.â
âContusion?â You supply, pulling latex gloves on before you began applying the bacta to the worst of the bruising.
âThatâs the word.â
You kicked the bottom drawer out off the table, the drawer being sealed off to make a step so you could reach his shoulders. âHow long have you had soreness like this? Your shoulders are really inflamed.â
âUh, always?â He sounded confused. âTech said it was probably âcause of my size.â
You nodded, not that he could see it. âDoes wearing your armor help?â
âKinda, with mâback.â He rolled his shoulders as you finished, and a small part of you took a moment to appreciate the slow ripple of muscle. Wreckerâs good eye lit up as he noticed you staring and he winked with his bad one. You just rolled your eyes fondly.
âIâm gonna try some stuff, wear it for tonight and tomorrow, ok? Iâm gonna see if I can wrap your shoulders and back, since I doubt we carry a brace in your size.â You grabbed a roll of kinesiology tape from yet another drawer, a couple different kinds after a moment of considering. âGot all different colors and everything.â
âWhatâs it gonna do?â He looked at the different rolls.
âItâs⌠hmm. You know the hydraulics under the ramp of your ship?â You ask. He nods.
âYeah, Techâs had me lift the ramp when he fixes âem.â
âOk. Think of those hydraulics as your muscles, and the ramp hinge as the joint. Without the hydraulics working, the ramp breaks, right?â Wrecker takes a moment to think about this for nodding.
âYeah. This last mission it broke while Cross was usinâ it as a ledge to line a shot up off of and it almost dumped him into a canyon!â Wrecker laughed. You chuckled as well, while also making a mental note to drag Crosshair in by the backplate if need be.
Wrecker seemed pleased at getting to laugh nonetheless. You tapped the rolls of tape. âRight, like the ramp then. These help your muscles along a bit, so there isnât as much strain on the hinges, your joints. It also is good for taking the strain off in general.â
Wrecker nods, following along. âThey go on my skin? And stay there?â
âA couple days if you can keep yourself from tearing them off.â You supplied. âOk, scoot. I gotta sit behind you to do this. Wrecker slid to the edge of the table and you climbed up behind him, grunting as you kicked off the ground to hoist yourself up. The bench height table for Wrecker came almost up to your ribs.
He held still as you took the backing off a piece of tape and pressed it to his shoulder, stretching it as you pressed it down until it was fully on before rubbing it to seal it in place. Wreckerâs skin practically radiated heat as you worked, forcing you to push away the urge to just press yourself against him and doze. It had been a long day.
Wrecker was quiet as you worked, a tension you hadnât noticed seeping out of him as he slowly relaxed into your touch as you worked your way down his back with the kinesiology tape. You added a second layer on his lower back to help the strain on the muscles there before going back up to his neck one last time to double check everything, smoothing a hand down the patchwork of brightly colored tape.
âOk, how does that feel?â You asked, sitting back a bit. You couldnât see his face but Wrecker seemed to pout a bit at the loss of contact. He stood up and stretched, several joints cracking as he rolled his shoulders.
âKinda weird.â He grunts. You snort.
âYeah, it will. Thatâs just temporary until we can get you proper braces.â You smile softly and pass him the top of his blacks. He pulls it on, giving you one last chance to discretely admire the amount of work the kaminoans put into him even if they are heartless sleemos who screwed up a perfectly good man in their desperation for a perfect specimen.
Wrecker pulled his head out through the top and you looked away, flushing slightly and clearing your throat. âIs that everything, trooper? Not gonna pull a Crosshair and try and hide injuries from me?â You tease as he tucks his stack of armor plates under his arm.
âHah, we might have to drag you back to the barracks tâ look at him.â He shot right back.
âI can make a house call later.â You begin collecting your mess of flimsi and datachips from your desk. You were surprised when scarred hands helped you with the mess, pushing the pile into a neat stack and dropping them on the desk to even it out before handing it to you. It was hard to tell on his dark skin, but his ears were looking a little red.
âAnd if I want you down there in case I mess the tape up?â He asks, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand.
âWrecker, are you trying to take me home for the night.â You lean forward on your desk, watching as his eyes go wide and his entire face goes red as he tries to explain himself. âRelax, I knew what you meant.â
You knock your hip against his as you pass, taking the flimsi stack. You bounce right off, but Wrecker still seems a little stunned.
âIâm gonna change and grab dinner for us, ok? After all, Crosshair probably needs to be checked after he nearly fell down a cliff.â You were playing coy and you knew it, but Wrecker still lit up like a kid remembering their birthday was tomorrow. You watched in amusement as he fistpumped the air in celebration before realizing you were watching him.
âOh. Uh, Iâll see you soon?â
âSure, Wreck. See you soon.â
#wrecker x reader#tbb wrecker#tbb wrecker x reader#the bad batch#clone wars#tbb x reader#wrecker x you#GingerWrites
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Chapter 3: Next stop, anywhere!
Hey, I'm back!
You really motivated me back on previous post, 'cause I really doubted should I continue!
Also I'll try being faster! I just need to fight laziness and 'good' concentration!
Anyway, hope you like this chapter!
By the time Raps, Eugene and Cassandra brought Varian to the castle and led him to his room he was sick of glares, staring people terrified faces and parents holding or hiding their children close. it also didn't help that there were two guards standing at his door who seemed to listen to every sound he made.Â
Since he didn't remember much useful on a trip information, once woke up he immediately decided to go in the library and spend there, like, at lest half of week. Of course guards were pretty annoying but he soon got used to their quiet chatter and to the feeling of eyes watching him. His plans were interrupted when Raps barged into the library startling him with Eugene walking in behind her and said that they were going shopping. Varian wasn't too happy about it at first but when he looked at his clothes he agreed that he needs new.
When they walked on the shopping street first thing Varian bought was a black cloak with bright blue treads and a big hood. Rapunzel was against it at first but Varian told her about all those looks people were giving him and she - reluctantly - agreed. Then she bought him a few pairs of dark blue jeans, black and white t-shirts, black really comfy boots and after Eugene asked her a leather vest matching his but brown. Raps also bought him a brown pretty big satchel and said she will paint it when she has time.Â
When they returned to the castle and lunched he went straight to the library and the next day woke up sitting in the armchair with the book on his lap in the same Royal library and after a minute of confusion continued studying. At midday Cass walked into his room, led him to stables, gave him horse, walked with Varian to the training grounds and for a few hours was teaching him riding a horse. After that he returned to the library and read some more. He found some interesting information about the sundrop and following the thread learned about Demanitus and got fascinated by him and his work!
Next two days went the same. He read, in the midday Cass taught him riding horse, he ate, went back to library and fell asleep it the armchair. Fifth day though was different. Raps came into his room/library - since no one was ever in library at that week it practically became his room - and handed him journal. His journal. She told him it's where he kept all his alchemy records and formulas, and when she saw how fascinated he was she managed him a lab, which became his new room.Â
After that and 'till the end of that week he didn't leave his lab except when needed and made dozens of 'clean' bombs, 'goo' bombs, 'smoke' bombs, 'stink' bombs and a few small drops of acid and Ruddiger transformers - just in case.Â
He also discovered that since he lost his memories he could think more out of the box, so he invented a 'smink' bomb, which is a mix of 'stink' and 'smoke' bomb, 'fire' bomb, which in contact with air inflames, 'anti-fire' bomb - compound that stops the fire from fire bomb, 'ice' bomb, which is basically a water bomb but in contact with same air becomes ice and 'anti-ice' bomb which melts the 'ice-bomb''s effect in seconds.
In a few hours before starting their trip Varian packed all solutions he made and put a few in his new satchel - which he really liked - put all his alchemical stuff in caravan - with Eugene's help, he could hardly lift any of them - and finally the journey began!
So naw he was sitting in the end of the caravan and watched the kingdom he barely knew fading in the distance. It was strange. He felt like he should miss this place - he knew he should, it's his home after all - but... he couldn't honestly say he did.
"Hey!" soft voice said behind him and he recognised Raps's "How're you doing?"
"I'm fine!" He didn't fully lie, he didn't know how he felt "And you? You must be so excited about the journey!"
"Yes!" she squealed "It's my first time seeing the real world outside Corona! I can't wait to see what people we'll meet out there!"
"Yeah!" Varian was glad for this distraction from his thoughts. His mind never helped him lighten his mood "What if we meet some alchemists on the road! We could exchange useful formulas!"
"Yeah!" Raps said dreamily "Oh, look!" She added suddenly "That cloud is just like a cat!"
"Wow! And look! That one's a flower!"
"And that looks like a horse!" said voice behind their back. Varian jumped and turned his head so fast his neck hurt. To his relief it was only Eugene, standing there, hands on hips and smirking.
"Hey! You did it on purpose!" Varian couldn't keep smile from his face. He was glad his friends were here.
"Did what?" innocently asked EugeneÂ
"Startled us!"Â
"I did?" Varian glared at him playfully and Eugene exclaimed in fake fear "Okay, okay, sorry! Stop looking at me like that!"
They all started laughing, and laughed for a few minutes before stopping and falling in comfortable silence
"I'm gonna check how Cass is doing!" Rapunzel said finally and climbed on the roof
"I'm gonna go look after her! She's just like a child, needs supervision all the time!" With that Eugene climbed after Raps
Varian looked out of the window again and smiled when saw a cloud that looked like a girl with unnaturally long hair. He was still stressed and guilty for probably terrible stuff he did, - he couldn't been put in chains only because of taking some ancient flower, and people shouldn't look at him the way they do if stealing Sunflower was the only thing he did - but right now he felt better.Â
"Hey!" Varian turned and saw Lance. He didn't know much about him. He met him a few times, but they never talked much. So he was surprised when he sat next to him and smiled.
"Hi...?"
"How's the mood?" Lance looked at clouds
"Good, actually!" Varian also looked at the sky
"Me too. I'm kinda excited! We will visit so many new places! So many people to steal from!" He said dreamily, and then added quickly with a tiny dramatically offended note to his voice "Not that I ever would do such thing, of course!"
"Yeah" Varian saddened a bit remembering his worries and fears.
They sat watching clouds for a bit. It wasn't like with Rapunzel, a fun time spent together, more like an excuse not to try finding topic for conversation. It wasn't a comfortable silence though. At least for Varian. He didn't know how to act around Lance since they hadn't spent much time together before now, so...
Their cloud-watching was interrupted by Cass angry yelling "Lance! Did you eat all the berries again?!"Â
"I better go!" with these words Lance ran on the rooftop.
In the next second caravan stopped and Cass barged through the door "Where's Lance?" she barked at Varian who shrank into himself a littleÂ
"I-I don't know!" He answered quickly. Varian didn't want to give away Lance, because he himself wouldn't want to be found by angry at him Cass under any circumstances ...except if he got kidnapped. Or injured and bleeding. Or lost without anything. Or- Stop!  His mind never helped him calm down.
Meanwhile Cassandra rolled her eyes and walked out of boy's section into girl's. After a minute - in which she probably checked every place Lance could possibly be hiding - caravan started moving again and Lance climbed down from the roof.
"Thanks, Goggles!"Â he said and ruffled Varian's hair. Varian stiffened a little at that but Lance didn't notice and sat nearby.Â
"What do you think Raps is doing?" Varian asked the first question that he could think of to fill the uncomfortable silence.
"As far as I know her, probably runs around, sings songs, and having Eugene chase her!" Lance smiled at something he imagined "I can totally see Raps taking him in a mud puddle and dirtying his hair!"
"Yeah... Imagine how angry Eugene would be!" Varian shuddered a little at the memory of Eugene looking at him with mix or anger, fear and protectiveness toward Raps when he woke up.
"Nah, he would forgive anything to Raps!" Lance chuckled "He changed so much since he was Flynn Rider! He was so much more... fun? I guess I can say that!"Â
"Tell me more about his days being Flynn?" Varian said. He wanted to know Eugene better than he does now since he already knew Raps's and Cassandras's stories.
"Well... there is a story when we were both fifteen" Lance chuckled again "There was a Baron. He was, how to say it... 'king' in crime. He was really powerful, so powerful that if he said something to his people it will happen no matter what. And he had his most loyal 'friend', Anthony the Weasel"
"'The Weasel'?! Why 'Weasel'?" Varian said holding the laugh
"Well, we gave him this nickname!" Lance said proudly "We called him that and then it just stuck with him. And why? Hmm, probably because of his long nose and how sneaky he is! Anyway! We were young, reckless, sassy, master-thieves teenagers. And we were broke. Were searched for a solution, trying to rob popular bakeries and shops, but none of it ended well! We or ended up caught - and escaped after an hour - or stole a small amount of money which last us for a few days. And we started to lose hope and even thinking about trying taking a job - can you imagine it! - when Eugene had an idea! He offered to rob The Baron! I was really against it, but he convinced me, and so we did it! At night we broke into his manor, stalked down to the basement where we knew he kept all his values, lockpicked the lock, opened the door and walked straight to the meeting! Turned out we came into wrong door ! They captured Flynn, - I ran away - took all his lockpicks and I needed to rescue him! I still remind him of that sometimes! How famous Flynn Rider needed rescue! Also that's when he met his ex-girlfriend Stalyan"
"What a strange name!" Varian laughed a bit. He felt a little closer to Lance and felt like they could become pretty good friends with time.
Suddenly they heard Cass talking to Raps from outside "You've got to exercise at least some caution out here. Trust me, Raps, the real world isn't all fun and games!" Varian could almost see Cassandra's eyeroll and Raps sitting there and smiling like nothing happened
"That's my line!" Lance said quietly to Varian and in the blink of an eye he was on the roof saying "Next stop, Vardaros! City of fun and games!"Â
Both laughed when Cassandra mumbled just loud enough for them to hear "I am so glad we decided to bring those two along!"Â
"Oh, come on, Cass! Vardaros is an amazing city! You're gonna have fun... which I guess is a new thing for you!" Eugene added from the rooftop where he apparently climbed after washing the mud from his precious hair
"Come on, Pascal! It's our first big city outside of Corona!" Rapunzel spoke excitedly "You heard them, Cass, this is gonna be fun!"
They rode for a few more hours and to Varian's surprise he had a pretty fun talk with Lance! Man told him few more stories about Eugene, and promised to buy him few 'Flynnigan Rider' books, and Varian told him about his alchemy and 'hard-not-sticky-goo' he wants to make. Also he discovered that Lance is very interested in alchemy, and decided to teach him a bit.Â
Hey! I know it was long, I'm sorry again! I don't really have excuses.
BUT I wrote you a scene for Warriors fan! No one asked for it buuuuuuut here you go!
I'm a Warriors fan myself, and I saw a potential in V/Raps cloud scene, so... well, here you go!
Anyway, see you next time, love you all!
ALSO!!! If you didn't read The Prophesies Begin (first series) 'till the end there are SPOILERS!!!
"Yeah!" Raps said dreamily "Oh, look! That cloud is just like a cat! And it's almost like he's on fire! And that's just like a star on his head!"
"Wow! Clouds can be almost magical sometimes!" Varian looked at the sky again "And look! That one's a tabby cat! And wow! That looks like a tiger behind him!"
"And that's just like a star on his head too! Just like the Fire one's! And wow! There is another cat! He's darker! And look, he has a cute white paw!"
"That's beautiful! An- oh my god! Did White-paw just killed Tiger?"
"I think so!" Raps placed a hand on her mouth in shock
They watched as White-paw killed the Fire-star, and how the star on Fire's head became a bit smaller before he shuddered, stood up and killed the white pawed one and how much more cats appeared and seemingly praised the Fire one.
"Those are the strangest clouds I ever saw" said Varian quietly still in deep deep shock
"Yeah" Said a voice behind them
Anyway again, see you next time, love you all!
#amnesia#tts#varian#rta#tangled the series#varian amnesia au#sorry so late#i really am#i'll try be faster#maybe#when i win the fight with laziness#and 'good' concentration#so yeah#see you!
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PART 2 Fuckin butcher
Billy Butcher x reader
Warnings: Swearing, gore, dark themes, AOB, angst, smut, adult themes, sexual, harassment
R-18
Last part <-
You didnât head to the gang hideout the next day. Too afraid to leave your apartment really. You sat in your PJâs and watched TV, trying to avoid anything with Homelander which was impossible. You gave up, stared at the black screen and contemplated till a knock came. You frowned suspicious as you walked to it. You sighed thinking itâd just be the mail man. You opened it, cursing when you saw Butcher. You went to slam the door shut but groaned letting him in.
âThanks loveâ he grinned as he stepped in. He froze though taking a deep breath.
âThe fuck he do?!â He snapped suddenly looking you up and down.
âNothing! Nothing- just-â you shuddered a bit at the raw anger radiating off the man. Your body reacted on its own sending out calming omega smell and he sighed.
âHe knows where onto, told me to say hi, said he was checking in on meâ you said remembering the hand on your cheek. You wiped at your cheek again wincing slightly at the red rash you caused.
âJesusâ Butcher muttered holding your wrist so he could look.
âHe do that?â He said eyes angry.
âNo he-â you gulped.
âHe touched my face thatâs all Iâve just been trying to scrub it offâ you whispered lowering your hand as he let go.
âYou got some cream?â He asked and you frowned. He was suddenly storming to your bathroom and checking your cabinets.
âButcher!â You snapped as he made a triumphant noise. You had rash cream usually just for irritated skin patches youâd sometimes get.
âCome âereâ he said opening the tube. You frowned and stepped closer as he squeezed some onto his finger. You froze realising what he was doing, you went to protest but he tucked your hair back gently and softly began to rub it in. Your cheeks burned and you stared at the floor wide eyed, knees trembling. The alpha was surprisingly gently and you closed your eyes taking a deep breath.
âStop scratching at it, youâll make it worseâ he muttered and you nodded as he did up the lid and put it back. You gulped eyes still on the ground, staring at his boots.
âBecca came to me, found the gang, theyâve got Ryanâ he said and you snapped back to reality and stepped back.
âRightâ you nodded.
âCourse- Iâll get my stuffâ you muttered going to your room. You sighed pushing the door slightly closed and going to your wardrobe. You undressed and dressed into jeans and a jacket along with boots. You put on deodorant before grabbing your gun and knife. You hid the knife in your boot before heading out to the lounge.
Butcher was fuming the whole way to your apartment, Becca had rejected him again then came begging for help. He couldnât deny her though, never could, but now that she had a supe son his respect and love for her seemed to leave him. He sensed your anxious outside your apartment, when he was hit with anxiety filled omega and the stench of Homelander he was on fire. You explained what happened, hands shaking and he noticed the rash on your cheek. He was pissed even more if that was possible till sweet omega hit his nose. He had calmed hating the way your body instantly reacted to his like some perfect mate. When you said heâd only touched you he swore to cut the cunts hand off.
He didnât think just sought to ease the pain youâd been cause. Heâd looked through your cupboards, woman products, beauty products some prescribed meds, you were a good girl in a sense. Heâd finally found something for rashes and beckoned your over. He noticed your legs shaking. Your cheeks turning bright red and he felt pride swell in his chest. You were gonna protest but shut up the moment his fingers touched your face. The place was hot and inflamed from constant scratching, he cursed in his head, you shouldâve stayed at the hideout, then again heâd been a dickhead and run you out like always.
He didnât want to say that he knew, knew what happened to your and your sister, Grace had found out about the massacre at the little asylum, heâd gone there by himself to check it out. Saw you kill some low life supe with your bare hands showered in blood. He hated the thump his heart made and the way he felt his alpha tug. He had waited about a week before finally making himself known, heâd watched you, watched you glance over your shoulder every ten seconds, flinch at any loud noises which was everywhere in this fucking city. You lived normally the best you could and nobody fucking knew anything about what happened, another cover up by Vought, only this time he was thankful. When he told you about revenge your eyes glistened over with the need to take it. Despite what the back of his mind said about keeping you out of it, he knew youâd handle yourself. After watching you work he was bloody impressed despite what heâd say. Then you acted different, gave him cold shoulder constantly and purposely riled him up, heâd rile you back, but youâd get the pout on your face and red cheeks and suddenly he knew what was happened. Your stupid ass had fallen in love with his stupider ass. He tried to shut that shit down quickly but apparently his dickness only kept you around and your feelings the same. He shut his feelings down quickly too, he was too old and already spoken for in a sense, but damned him if his mind didnât imagine your pretty little face scrunched up in ecstasy as he fucked you hard. Youâd take it, he knew you would, youâd be cock drunk easily and a moaning mess. Gods heâd get hard thinking about you in heat, whining begging mess heâd have at his disposal. There was nothing better than a needy in heat omega. Becca, he loved Becca always had, she never gave him the feeling you did though, she was a beta and she put up with his shit like a champ and gave it back ten fold. Theyâd had plenty of fights, some almost breaking them, but itâd always end up in overly angry heated sex. When heâd found Becca he expected his feelings to change, he tried to cling to Beccas memoryâs they had. He knew youâd followed him, not sneaky despite what you thought, heâd made eye contact as he fucked Becca, the look on your face almost made him laugh as you tucked tail and ran. Somewhere deep down thought he wished you were under him moaning.
âButcher!â You snapped clicking your fingers in front of him.
âThe fuck you doing?â He groaned pushing your hands away and you rolled your eyes grabbing your bag and following him out the door.
You headed to the hideout, youâd never met Becca and was suddenly wondering if you should go down there. She was beautiful though, definitely the type of woman Butcher would go for. She hugged him the moment you reached the end of the stairs and your heart broke. You flinched at the feeling mouth open slightly as you stared. You quickly moved away ignoring the way Hughie gave a sad look.
âWe know where heâs got himâ Butcher said pointing to a spot on the map.
âNow Stormfront and Homelander are taking it upon themself to be supe mummy and daddy, I say we kill âem both get the boy and runâ Butcher said and you shook your head.
âWe canât kill Homelanderâ you sighed.
âThatâs why weâve got distractions, rockets and a supeâ he grinned like a mad man.
Butcher wanted the boy gone, he was a supe and a danger in Butchers eyes but the kid meant everything to Becca. You staked out in a shed near the house, Frenchie was setting up the speakers while you leant against the car by Hughie who was on the computer.
âYou ok?â He asked quietly and you glared.
âAlrightâ he held his hands up. Storefront was the first to go, then Homelander, you stayed at the cars, the ringing in your ears though was torture till Homelander found them. Butcher and Becca went for the kid while you waited. You spotted them running back and sighed in relief as Ryan was strapped in the backseat. Butcher didnât go with them, getting M.M to take them instead while he went to load the rockets. Stormfront made an appearance though, sending their car crashing before blowing up the other cars. Butcher ran to them while you glanced to Starlight. You glanced to the car that crashed seeing them run to the forest. You lifted it throwing it at Stormfront making her fall to the ground. The others stared at you as you lifted off the ground and tore the shed up. Kimiko and Starlight joined you as you managed to pin her to the ground and punch her. Maeve joined sometime, you all throwing punches at her before she managed to knock you down. You groaned jaw cracking back into place as the other girls knocked her down. You gave a small smile to Hughie as he stared in shock and got back to your feet. Stormfront left quickly though and you took off after her. You followed her into the woods where she stood in front of Becca, Ryan and Butcher. You stood in front of them as she electrocuted you. You groaned trying to stand your ground till your body went limp. You fell to the ground, hearing fuzzy as you heard yelling. You groaned trying to keep your eyes open as you heard laser beams. You rolled over seeing no Homelander and frowned seeing Stormfront in a crisp on the forest floor. Ryan was crying saying he was sorry while Butcher yelled. You got to your knees before a foot went on your back and pushed you down. You made a pained noise as your back began to crack under the pressure before he spotted Stormfront. He left you there while your back cracked back into place and healed. You got to your knees again trying to shake the haziness as you saw a dead Becca and an angry Butcher coming to you.
âIt wasnât me-â you said breathlessly as he knelt by you. You groaned as he got you into a sitting position. Your body still felt tingly from the electricity running through you. He glanced to Homelander than the boy, he helped you up and you leant against him not able to hold yourself up.
âI need you strongâ he muttered and you frowned looking to his desperate face. You nodded, standing on your own two feet and heading to Ryan as Homelander talked to him.
âRyan come hereâ Homelander said holding his hand out and the boy shook his head. You stood by him holding your hand out for him and he took it. Butcher stood in front of you both as Homelander repeated his words yelling. You held the boys hand tight and kept your hard gaze. Homelander had tears in his eyes as he finally flew away and you collapsed. Butcher called your name helping you up and holding you as he gently tapped your cheek.
âNo, you keep your eyes open you hear me?â He said sternly as you passed out.
Next part ->
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Extra muscles?????? If you don't mind me asking, how does that even work, and what would be the benefit to removing them?
ive got a mutation that gives me extra accessory (see: useless) muscles in my elbows! they are connected to muscles on both sides, which means they serve no purpose <3 muscles need to be attached to bone on at least one side to actually, y'know, do stuff
it's called the epitrochleoanconeus muscle (pictures below from link)
because of its positioning over the ulnar nerve, im highly susceptible to nerve damage (particularly in my right arm, since im right handed) and i have to be really careful with what i do lest i suffer The Effects
unfortunately i can't actually get them removed because, while they r causing problems Every Day Of My Life, they're also the only things keeping my ulnar nerves from slipping out of place and getting pinched (i can actually feel my nerves moving whenever i extend my arm!)
i had surgery on my right arm back in 2020 to segment the muscle such that whenever i use my arm the muscle splays out when it's inflamed instead of just bearing down fully on the nerve. so good news is my arm isn't technically as bad as it used to be, but nerves heal extremely slowly so the damage to my arms is like, cumulative cause a few days off from work isn't really enough for them to be Fine whenever something as small as playing games on my phone can hurt me
#musings#asks#bewarewoof#disability#chronic pain#epitrochleoanconeus muscle#this is why it takes so long for me to do any art at all whatsoever#i like literally can't do much of anything without hurting myself so i have to take shit really fucking slow#it's been really hard coming to terms w this being a permanent issue for me but i joke about getting them removed a lot#just for funsies
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Lost And Found Chapter 4
Vaggie's injuries haven't been healing well and has gotten infected. Carmilla has to take her to the hospital. tw: mentions of suicide and mental hospitals.
A couple of weeks had passed since Carmilla claimed Vaggie as her daughter. When she had aged back up sometime during these weeks, she was extremely apologetic and embarrassed. She felt ashamed for having to use that coping mechanism but Carmilla told her it was okay. What did worry her was that she wanted to do all the wound cleaning and bandaging by herself. When Carmilla asked if she knew how to do it, she quickly said yes and sprinted off.Â
Ever since vaggie did her own stuff, she seemed to stop healing and was going backwards. Carmilla noticed how she struggled to walk, she would silently complain about headaches, and have really bad eye and back pain. So one day, Carmilla decided she would talk to her about it. She walked into Vaggieâs room but had the worst timing because she was in the middle of changing her bandages with her back facing Carmilla. And oh boy did those injuries look infected as fuck. There was puss and it was inflamed and really red.
âVaggie?! Why didnât you tell me about this,â Carmilla ran up to her, causing Vaggie to flinch and cover her body up.
âI- I have it under control!â Vaggie tried to say but Carmilla wasnât taking it.
âNu-unh, donât lie to me. Weâre going to the hospital,âÂ
Vaggie stopped breathing for a second. The last time someone said that she was stuck in a mental hospital until she jumped out the 6th story window, landing her in heaven. She didnât want to be stuck there again.Â
âNo! Iâm not going there!â Vaggie yelled. She gasped for air and stumbled to a corner, trying to catch her breath.
âSweetie, take some deep breaths. The hospital will help you,â Carmilla kept her calm and spoke softly to her.
âNo it wonât! It didnât help last time!â Vaggie screamed at her, tugging her hair.
âWhat? We never went to the sloth ring before,â the older lady stated.
âWhen I was alive, my stupid parents took me there for being abnormal and I was stuck there for 5 months! They-they paid the nurses to keep me there!â She panicked. Carmilla didnât want her to rip her hair out and grabbed her stuffed bear off of her bed and handed it to her. She squeezed the bear tight.
âVaggie, we are NOT going to that type of hospital, okay? This is just a doctor's visit. I will not be paying anyone to keep you there,â The older woman promised.
âY-you wonât?â Vaggie asked.
âI promise I wonât,â she replied. The small girl held out her pinky finger.
âPinky pwomise?â Carmilla held out her pinky and curled it around herâs
âPinky promise.â she confirmed.
Getting Vaggie changed was a bit hard. Everything hurt her back. Putting her diaper on was the worst part because she had to lay down on her back. But she managed to do it. Once tying her shoes and packing the diaper bag. Vaggie curled up in the backseat of the car with her plushie tucked in her arms.
Once they got to the hospital, Vaggie held Carmillaâs hand as they walked through the entrance and into the lobby. Carmilla saw how nervous she was and picked her up and set her in her lap while she did paper work. Whenever someone would give them a weird look, Carmilla would send a death glare at them before continuing on her work.Â
It took a little bit of time before they were called back. Vaggie was led into a room where they took her height and weight. Then they lead her to a room and asked her to get changed into this weird paper gown.Â
âHelp, mama?â Vaggie asked. Carmilla nodded and helped her get changed into it after the nurse left.Â
When the doctor came in, Carmilla explained how she was a fallen angel (didnât mention what type) and was also regressed. The doctor seemed okay with it and just wanted to help out.
âOkay, Vaggie, sweetie, Iâm just gonna take a look at your back,â The doctor said. Vaggie moved so her back was facing him. He undid the backside of her gown her a took a look. He visibly winced at it.Â
âOooh, yeeah, this is definitely infected. But I can fix it.â The doctor then dug around his thousands of syringes and picked one out. Vaggie had seen and clinged to Carmilla, jumping into her lap.
âI just need to inject some strong antibiotics into the wound and then clean it up and prescribe you some meds,â He explained. That didnât help vaggie at all. She whimpered, really scared of the needle.Â
âIs it alright if she sits in my lap?â Carmilla asked. The doctor nodded and she held Vaggie tightly and closely before he made the first injection. It stung like hell. Vaggie screamed in pain and cried, trying to move but her caregiver held her too tight. Carmilla used one hand to dig through the diaper bag and took out her pacifier and plopped it in her mouth. It didnât deafen the screams that much but it helped soothe her a little.
The first injection was soon done. Carmilla could tell that vaggie needed a change. The pain and scariness mustâve made her wet herself. She rocked her and helped her calm down before the second injection, the one for her other side. She didnât scream as loud but Carmilla was sure sheâd be getting tinnitus later.Â
âYouâre such a brave girl, Mija, I think you deserve ice cream,â Carmilla wiped away her tears. Finally, the doc finished cleaning her back wound.
The eye injury wasnât nearly as bad and all she needed was a couple of antibiotic pills for it.Â
âNow, I would like to keep her here overnight, just to monitor her. We need to know if she has any reactions, especially because sheâs not used to hellâs medicines yet,â Doc said.
Vaggie felt her heart drop. She had to stay overnight? No, this couldnât be happening! Her grip tightened on Carmillaâs shirt and her eyes were screwed shut. Her heart beat faster than a lightning bolt would strike. Her steady breathing turned into hyperventilating.Â
âSh, shh, itâll be okay bebe, Iâll be with you the whole time,â Carmilla rocked her, trying to stop a panic attack from occurring.
Those words helped calm her down before she freaked out. The doctor showed them to her room and helped them get settled. Carmilla had already asked clara to pack an overnight bag for Vaggie to drop off.Â
After Carmilla changed Vaggie, she settled into her hospital bed. It was a little uncomfy and irritated her back a little but it would have to do. Carmilla was reading her a story when a knock came from the door.
âGuess whoâs here? Your favorite older sister!â Clara announced and walked in.
âHey, Iâm her favorite!â Odette replied, also walking in. Vaggie giggled at their antics.
âYou bof equally suck,â Vaggie joked.
âI am wounded, baby sis,â Clara sarcastically said. Even though Vaggie had a hard time understanding sarcasm, this was kind of funny to her.
Clara was carrying a duffle bag with some overnight and comfort items. Odette had a little gift bag with her.
âWe heard you couldnât get ice cream, so we got you a little giftâ Odette handed her the bag. Vaggie immediately opened it and took out a new stuffed animal. It was a purple fluffy rabbit. She squealed and hugged it.
âTâank you! I love her!âÂ
Carmilla, Odette, and Clara both smiled. The cuteness of this girl.
Odette and Clara had to leave soon after since it was getting late. Carmilla was allowed to stay overnight with her because she was an overlord and a pretty big deal. She tried to keep Vaggie entertained the best she could. Eventually, it was getting close to her bedtime and she fell asleep on her own. Carmilla nestled into the uncomfortable armchair to try to get some sleep. Her poor baby was going through so much. She didnât want to be asleep in case she needed her. But her body eventually gave out and she fell into a deep sleep.
#agere writing#agere fanfic#hazbin hotel agere#padded agere#ageredips#sfw littlespace#sfw#sfw agere#age regression#hazbin hotel age regression
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I saw that you had a post saying fic writers could ask you for advice writing medical stuff for fic. I was wondering if someone who has had multiple leg breaks that healed improperly would need crutches/leg braces (if so, which would be better and for how long). By healed improperly, I mean the bone wasn't set and he would've kept doing extreme physical activity while the bone was broken. (He had no choice to ignore the pain, if you even wondering why he would do that.) Thank you in advance, and it's okay if you can't get an answer
Answer from a doctor:
The bone would likely would heal in an abnormal shape and length with the muscles and tendons at the incorrect length to accomodate. There would probably be bone spurs that would inflame the muscles and tendons passing over them, especially when doing a lot of moving.
Your character would have limited range of motion, chronic pain, and likely need mobility aids for life. These aids would probably differ day-to-day and depend on the setting, as well as how stubborn and proud they are.
The specifics would all depend on the type of break, which bone, the type of activity that's being done on the break, etc.
Answer from me (based on experience):
Ad a teen I rolled my ankle at the start of a 3000m, completely ignored the injury, and won the race still. Only after that did I realize what happened (apperently the muscles had gotten fucked up and actually shifted my fibula out of place). I didn't break a bone but it was a fibula injury that I ignored and continued training on for months, even going to a week long track camp where I was doing about 20km of high impact on asphalt and hills per day. I ended up with a wicked limp, chronic pain, shin splints, plantar faciatis, and a lateral muscle imbalance across every part of my body but my arms from trying to compensate. Youd look at me from behind and see my hips, my shoulders, my neck, everything was at an angle. Eventually I did enough physio that I was mostly okay again but if I was ever lady and didn't do my stretches, warm up properly, and build up training properly I would get issues coming back. I stopped running in uni and decided to pick it back up again one day and instant plantar faciatis.
The second part to this is experience with an actual broken bone. A couple years ago I broke my fibula. It was a spiral fracture to my left fibula about a third or so of the way up the bone. I crashed on a downhill while skateskiing and because I was in race skis those bindings don't typically have a safety release, so when my ski spun around in a full circle so did my foot. This broke my fibula in a spiral shape.
~side note: if your character is fighting and moving on a broken leg it's probably a fibula since that's not the weight baring bone. This is the one you hear about athletes finishing a game on a broken leg. It's possible with adrenaline but it's still hell and will cause you issues in the long run. A tibia is weight baring so you shouldn't really be able to stand on that, and a femur break usually will get you air lifted to the hospital because you're about to die.~
Anyway, with all the issues of the last injury I'd had, I really stayed off of my broken leg and actually atrophied.
Now with this one, I can say it healed wrong. According to an mri and xrays they don't see any issues but I was treated in a tiny town er during a massive covid spike before the vaccine was available so I never got a second cast after the swelling went down.
After healing, I have always had an aching pain deep in the bone that doesn't go away. It throbs worse with impact activity or if I spend a lot of time on my feet on hard floors. I am a huge sucker for standing on grass these days. That ankle is actually a lot thicker now and is a lot more unstable. I have pain in the bone from the break but on bad days when I'm really hurting the worst of it in in the muscles and tendons of my ankle, the top outside of my calf, and my hip and glute. I never expected this but my ass is SO TIGHT ALL THE TIME and it hurts like a bitch. Massage helps, but it's not the sexy kind. It's the full body weight on an elbow jabbed into my ass cheek or hip flexor kind. This is all because with my ankle being really unstable from the tendons and muscles getting inflamed from popping over small bone spurs all the time, the hip has to work overtime to try to compensate and stabilize more than it normally would. I also experience not quite muscle weakness on that side, so much as muscle fatigue. Basically, everything on that side is working over time and is always tired. For the first three years after I had a wicked limp, was in a lot more pain than I am now, and could only run if I absolutely had to. After doing a lot of physio I can run again but certainly am limping after a 10k. I also have a lot of scars from my bad side making me trip over roots and become impaled on sticks.
I had the opportunity to heal fairly well overall and access physio but I'd I didn't I know I'd be using a cane and taping my ankle constantly. Before I did physio when I lifeguarded I also needed a chair because walking around on tile barefoot for hours would have me in tears even with my hugh pain tolerance. Repeated breaks over time with bad healing and limited access to care would def require mobility aids and would lead to life-long chronic pain.
I'll be back with responses from the rest of the team soon.
Bonus! Where my bone broke starts aching really bad the second I start to get dehydrated. Everything also hurts most at night and the second I stop moving.
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A Heavy Weight
Standard disclaimer: I do not consent to the posting, translating, or publishing of my work to any 3rd party site, the only place it may currently be found is on tumblr and Wattpad under the name @.itswildflower
Looking for more? Chicago Fire Collection MasterlistÂ
Word count: 2235
Warnings: cannon typical depictions of fires/accidents, mentions of suicide
âWe work a dangerous job. We all knew that when we signed up. A firefighter dies in the line of duty, we are shocked. Our hearts are broken. But in some dark corner of our mind, we are bracing ourselves for that possibility. But a firefighter takes her own life? That is not a contingency that we can prepare for. We can't change what happened. But we can learn from it. We all missed the signs here. And we can never let it happen again. So you reach out to each other. You be there for each other. Not just for today, or this week... always. I never want to see another member of this family slip through the cracks. Let's go to work.â With those words Boden finished the morning brief and everyone disbursed out into the common room. âHey, roomie. Cable bill's due. Make with the cheddar,â Cruz told Otis, dropping an envelope into his lap. â$140?â he questioned after looking at it. âYeah. That includes the setup fee,â Cruz shrugged. âYeah. And your NFL package,â Otis protested. âYour half is $70,â Cruz tells him. âI haven't seen Clarke this morning. He still subbing over at 25?â Mouch asks from his usual spot on the couch. âClarke's not subbing out. He transferred,â Casey told them. âWhat, just like that? No explanation? No good-bye? What a jerk,â Herrmann grumbled.Â
Dani walks out from behind the kitchen counter with half a toasted bagel and takes a seat on the other side of Matt. âGabriela Dawson?â An officer walks into the common room. âOh, God, what'd you do this time?â Shay teases and nudges Dawson. âYeah?â Dawson asks, standing up. âThis note was left behind for you in Rebecca Jones' apartment,â the officer tells her. âWhy?â Gabby asks, a lump forming in her throat. âI wouldn't know,â the officer told her before handing it to her and leaving. âWhy would she leave me a note?â Gabby asked quietly as Matt moved to stand behind her. âOnly one way to find out,â he tells her. Just then the alarm bell rings. âEngine 51, Truck 81, Squad 3, Ambulance 61. Fire. Grand and Ashland.â Dani stuffs the last bite of her bagel in her mouth before heading for the truck. Itâs somber as they get on the road, lights and sirens going. They pull up on scene and climb out. âOtis, make sure the pumps are shut down! Everyone, get in there with extinguishers! Don't wait for 51!â Casey yells. âYou gotta get my wife! She's in the car!â A man begs. âWe'll take care of her. Get out of here!â Casey tells the man. âShay!â Herrmann calls out, after helping to put out a manâs jacket that was on fire. âGot him, Herrmann,â she moved from the ambo quickly. âOkay, okay. Let's get you out of there!â Herrmann tells the woman still in the car. âI can't! I can't!â she cries hysterically. âAll right, all right. Just stay put! Stay put! All right, listen! She can't get out of here! She's in a full leg brace! Let's get this fire out!â Herrmann called out. Herrmann moved to grab an extinguisher when the husband who had been with the medics shook his head and sprinted towards the vehicle. âI got you, Janice! I got you!â he yelled. âSir, wait! Casey!â Dawson shouted. âHey!â Casey shouted as the man got in the vehicle, started it and backed into another car and pulled away from the pump, still connected to it. âWhat are you doing!â Casey yelled at the man. He had pulled forward and ripped the hose from the pump, spraying gas all over the back of the car, causing it to catch fire as it went close to the inflamed truck in front of it. âStop! Hey, get under the pickup!â Casey yells and Dani and Herrmann are able to put it out quickly. âIt's okay. We got you. You're okay. We've got you,â Casey reassured the woman as he helped her out. Herrmann went to the driver's side and opened the door. âGet out of there, numbnuts!â Casey shot Herrmann a look through the car, after Cruz had taken the woman over to the ambo. âSir, please step out of the vehicle, if you'd be so kind,â Herrmann grumbled.Â
âThat was the dumbest move I've seen in a long time,â Herrmann grumbles on the ride back to the station. âYeah, Darwin-award thinkin' right there. Ha! What a call,â Cruz scoffed from the driver's seat. âHey, what do you guys suppose Jones said in that note to Dawson? I'm just curious,â Mouch says after a moment of silence. âThe other night⌠Jones stopped by Molly's. She was looking for Dawson,â Herrmann told them. âReally? What for?â Casey asked. âNo idea. But she apparently went straight home and⌠You know the rest,â Herrmann sighed. Tension in the firehouse when they got back was high, the heavy cloud of Jones' death hanging over them and Dani spent most of the time between calls sitting on her bunk and drawing, it was her way of trying to find some semblance of peace in the chaotic place they call Life. âTruck 81. Squad 3. Ambulance 61. Accident,â the alarm rang out.
âWe got a driver pinned in the car, hurt but conscious,â the officer told Boden. âWhat about the bus?â he asked. âAh, kids on their way to the prom, banged up, but nothing too serious.â The Chief nodded before grabbing for his radio. âCasey, Severide... we have a pin-in in the gray car. Get 'em out, Dawson, check on the victim. Shay, assess these kids.â he ordered. âCopy that,â everyone split off to do as told. âHang in there, sir, we're going to get you out, okay?â Dawson had climbed onto the car through the passenger side and placed a C-collar on the man. âCasey? We're good,â Dawson told him. âAll right, let's move this car. Ready? Lift! Ready? Lift! Ready? Lift!â
âMouch, Otis, check the bus,â Shay calls out after talking to one of the girls. âYou got it,â Mouch tells her and the two climb into the bus. âSweetie, have a seat here. Where was she sitting?â Shay asked. âI don't know. We were all goofing around, and... we hit something, and the bus started swerving, and that's when I hit my head,â the girl told her. âThere's nobody else in here,â Otis tells Mouch. âWhy is this window open?â Mouch asks. âOh, no. Chief! I think somebody was ejected!â Otis called out. âOh, my God,â Mouch murmurs. âThe girl could have fallen out wherever the bus first lost control. We are gonna shut down the road, run a search,â Boden tells the officer. âMy guys have been up and down this road. They didn't see anything,â the officer continues directing traffic. âWe should have some firefighters take a look,â Chief tells him. âLook, be my guest, but I can't close this road,â the officer huffs. âYou do realize you have a girl that is unaccounted for,â Boden counters. âYes, I do. But my guess is that she got out with the others, and she wandered off,â the officer tells him. âYou have an open emergency exit! Somebody was ejected!â Boden nearly sneers. âChief, let me talk to him,â Casey tried to cut in. âI'm shutting down this road!â Boden exclaims. âI can't let you do that,â the officer tells him. âTruck 81, block off this road,â Chief calls into the walkie. âLast warning, Chief,â the officer tries. Boden gives Casey a look. âGo ahead, Cruz,â Casey calls into the walkie.Â
âHalstead, Mouch, Herrmann, Otis, fan out, search back along the road.â The four of them nod, and begin heading down the road. âThis is my scene, Chief. Are you really gonna make me arrest you?â the officer asks. âYou know what? You're just gonna have to do what the hell you need to do,â Chief offers the officer his hands. The officer takes his cuffs out. âReally?â Chief asks. Just then Severide looks over to see the officer placing the cuffs on the chief behind his back. âYou gotta be kidding me,â he mutters in disbelief. âYou picked the wrong cop to piss off,â the officer mutters. âOh, I haven't even started on you. You seeing this?â Boden asks Casey. âYes, I am, Chief.â The officer took his helmet off and pushed him down into the squad car. âI got her! I got her! We need a backboard, and a black bag,â Dani calls into the radio as Herrmann and the others come over. âOfficer Woodall? Is this really the hill you want to die on?â Casey asks the officer, who takes a minute, thinking on his words. The 81 crew comes over carrying the girl and places her on the stretcher. The officer lets Boden out and takes his cuffs off. They finish clearing the scene and load up to return to the station.Â
âAfter you. I insist,â Herrmann starts when he almost bumped into Mills after he had closed the truck door behind Dani. âHey, whatever's going on between you two, can you drop it?â Severide asks. âI'll drop it when he apologizes,â Herrmann scoffs, causing Mills to turn back towards him. âApologize for what? For speaking the truth?â he asks. âKnock it off, both of you,â Casey cuts in. âYeah? He's saying that we made Jones suicidal, and I'm supposed to swallow that?â Herrmann asks. âNo! No! Just own up to your behavior and admit that you could have handled things better!â Mills exclaims and Casey puts up a hand to stop him when he takes a step towards Herrmann. âHow dare you!â Herrmann yells and storms towards Mills. âHerrmann! Hey!â Severide and Casey grab the older man, stopping him from continuing towards Mills. âI was the last one to see her alive! You think I didn't wonder over and over again what I might have done different, what else I might have said that would have changed her mind?â Herrmann yells. There was a tense moment of silence in the garage. âIs this what you all took from what I said this morning? Is this really how we're gonna get through this thing?â Boden asks. Herrmann wipes a hand down his face and Dani places a hand on his shoulder. âLook, blaming each other or ourselves doesnât bring her back. All we can do is be better and be there for each other, that is what chief was telling us this morning,â Dani speaks up. Boden tipped his head to her in silent thanks. âSeveride? Bloom is inside,â Capp comes in from the common room. âSorry, Chief. Got one more save to make tonight,â Severide apologizes before heading inside. âWell, I guess I'm gonna get a lecture about skipping out on rehab, let's get it over with,â Bloom huffed. âNo, Bloom. I got no more lectures for you,â Severide tells him. âYeah? Then give me my wallet,â Bloom crossed his arms. âJust relax. Capp's getting it from my locker.â
âWhat are you all lookin' at?â Bloom sneered as the company gathered at the edge of the common room. âWhat, you need an audience? You ruined my white board. That was permanent ink,â he huffed. âI'll get you another one,â Kelly laughs. âWhat is this?â Chief asks as the chaplain comes in with two men. âI know, I'm not staying. Severide asked me to pick up these two up at O'Hare,â the chaplain told him. âChaplain,â Severide greets. âLieutenant. This is Damien, and this is Aaron,â the chaplain introduces. âScrew this,â Bloom huffs. âBloom, just give me one second,â Severide tries. âYou are a son of a bitch,â Bloom tells him, getting in his face. âHey, it's not like that, Captain,â one of the guys, Aaron, tries to say. âOh, Captain! Captain. Aren't you cute? You can mail me my wallet,â Bloom hisses at Severide. âWe didn't know what happened to you, Bloom,â Damien says. âNow you do,â Bloom gestured to himself. âWe're sorry. That's what we came to tell you. The way we treated you back in Denver⌠Well, you gotta understand, we were upset,â Aaron tells him. âOh, you were upset? You were upset? I was the captain. Those were my men in there! They were my men!â Bloom exclaims, tears beginning to form in his eyes. âWe said a lot of awful things in the heat of the moment. But we had a lot of time to think about it. We were wrong,â Damien tells him. âYou made the right call.â Bloom looks between the two men. âIf you would have let us inside, we would've still been in there when the roof came down. There's no question, you saved our lives. Your boy could only afford two plane tickets. Otherwise there would have been a dozen of us here. We all feel the same way,â Aaron tells him before pulling out his phone. âThis is my daughter, Lily. She wouldn't exist if you hadn't tackled me that day. 'Cause I was going in, Captain. I was going in.â Those words hit all of the firefighters in the room right in heart. The former captain had tears streaming down his face.Â
The crew finished out the shift and left, still a little somber, but a fair few of them met up at the local bowling alley. âTo Jones,â Mills said and everyone raised their beer before taking a sip and getting set up for a few games.Â
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Inflamed
/ÉŞnËfleÉŞmd/
verb. Â
provoke or intensify strong feelings in someone.
cause inflammation in a part of the body
In which Emily gets appendicitis whilst pregnant and Aaron tries to hold it together.
-x-
Words: 4.7k
Warnings: Pregnancy, surgery
Read over on Ao3, or below the cut
Emily groans as the alarm goes off, curling even further around her pregnancy pillow, twisting around it like a vine.Â
âTurn that fucking thing off,â she complains, all but growling as her husbandâs response is a chuckle, quickly followed by silence as he does as sheâs asked.Â
âGood morning to you too, sweetheart,â he says, sitting up to look down at her, his smile widening at the sight heâs met with.Â
At some point in the night, sheâd thrown off the covers, and was simply laying next to him in an old t-shirt of his, stretched tight over her belly, and a pair of panties. As long as theyâd been together sheâd run cold at night, pressing herself against him to steal some of his endless warmth, but that had changed as she tipped from her second trimester into her third. She was always warm now, uncomfortably so at times, and she complained about it as one of the reasons she couldnât sleep. Heâd done everything he could to help. He bought a new mattress that was supposedly self-cooling. Heâd dialled up the AC.Â
Heâd even offered to go sleep in the spare room, well aware that he was part of the reason their bed was so warm, but that had ended up with her crying, worried he didnât want to sleep next to her because he didnât find her attractive anymore.Â
âYouâd be grumpy too if you had a very active baby inside of you who stopped you from sleeping properly.â She says, finally opening her eyes to look at him, a smile breaking out over her face as he presses his hand into her belly.Â
âShe kept you up all night?â He asks, leaning down to kiss her cheek, smiling when she turns her head to catch his lips.
âNot all night,â she replies, placing her hand over his on her stomach, âJust most of it, and I got really warm. More than usual. I couldnât get comfortable.âÂ
He sighs, his hand at her lower back ready to help if she needs it as she sits up, âI wish there was something I could do to help.â
âIâm 30 weeks pregnant, honey. Being uncomfortable is just part of the deal,â she says, reaching out to push some of his hair from his forehead. She doesnât miss how he frowns, a microexpression he clearly tries to hide from her. He always wanted to fix everything, to make everything better, and she knew he struggled in inevitable situations like this where he couldnât. Regulated to the sidelines where all he could do was hold her hand through it, âAlthough,â she says, smiling coyly at him, âThe one cup of coffee Iâm allowed a day would definitely help.âÂ
Aaron springs into action, leaning forward to kiss her forehead before he gets up, ready to head downstairs to make her coffee.
âOne cup of coffee coming up,â he says, winking at her as he opens the door.Â
âWith two Splendas,â she calls after him, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed so she can stand up to, begrudgingly, get ready for the working day.Â
âOne Splenda,â he calls back, not even returning to the bedroom, âThat stuff is bad for you.âÂ
She rolls her eyes even though he canât see her, âDaddy is so mean to mommy,â she says jokingly, rubbing her hand over her belly as she stands up. Sheâs hit with a wall of nausea as she stands, had enough that she places her hand on the wall to steady herself for a moment as she takes a deep breath.Â
She hadnât felt like this since early on in her pregnancy. When her knees ached from all the time she spent kneeling on the bathroom floor, and the toilet and her became fast friends. Sheâd been lucky overall -Â her morning sickness was something sheâd left behind in her first trimester, something that JJ had often lamented made her one of the lucky ones.Â
The sensation burns up the inside of her chest and she grimaces, slowly making her way to the bathroom.Â
âI donât know what youâre up to in there sweet girl,â she says, âBut it better not get between me and my cup of coffee.â ___
The nausea doesnât shift.Â
She doesnât think anything of it when she ends up having to dash, or move as quickly as she can nowadays, to the bathroom partway through the morning to throw up. It had been a common occurrence during her first trimester. Sheâd return from the bathroom to find crackers and ginger ale on her desk, both of which were kept in constant supply in Aaronâs office and his go bag. There was one occasion when heâd pulled a can of ginger ale out of seemingly nowhere when they were at a secured crime scene together, and she was sure in that moment sheâd never loved him more.Â
As she returns to her desk, carefully sitting in her chair, she feels a pain pull through her stomach. Itâs enough to make her grimace, her hand pressed into her bump as it passes.Â
âYou ok, Em?âÂ
She turns to look at JJ, rolling her eyes as her friend's gaze flits up to Aaronâs office. She knew they had some kind of agreement to keep an eye on her but she let it slide, reluctantly quite grateful for what she would have once considered coddling.
âIâm fine JJ,â she says, smiling at her, âI think itâs the Braxton Hicks contractions,â she explains, âMy doctor said to expect them.âÂ
âBraxton Hickâs contractions are often referred to as âpractiseâ contractions, but they are quite different,â Spencer says, drawing the attention towards him, âBraxton Hickâs have no discernible pattern, and are more like a mild cramp in comparison to actual labour.â
Emily feels the pain again, grimacing as she rubs at the spot on her right side where it hurts the most.Â
âSpence,â she replies, raising her eyebrow at him, âWhat do I keep saying?âÂ
He stares at her wide-eyed as if heâd only just realised what heâd said, âIf Iâm not Hotch, or I donât have a uterus, I canât comment on your pregnancy.âÂ
âExactly,â she says, not missing how Derek covers a laugh with a cough, his hand over his mouth as he watches the exchange, âSo unless youâve suddenly turned into my husband, or have something to tell us, Iâd shut up if I were you.âÂ
JJ and Derek laugh as Spencer nods, looking back down at his work as if heâd never spoken at all. Emily shakes her head, a smile tugging at her lips, and returns to her own paperwork. The pain, and nausea, continue to build over the next hour or so.Â
The next time she goes to the bathroom, flushing the toilet and leaving the stall, sheâs met with JJ standing just on the other side of the door, leaning against the counter. She rolls her eyes, approaching the sink to wash her hands.Â
âEm, are you sure youâre ok?â JJ asks, concern painted all over her face.Â
âIâm fine,â she says, although sheâs not entirely sure she means it herself anymore. The pains she was sure were the fake contractions were kicking her ass, and it made her worry about what labour would be like. âI heard you throwing up.âÂ
Emily turns off the faucet and reaches for some paper towels, her nerves close to snapping as she dries her hands with more force than necessary.Â
âI donât know if this escaped your attention,â she quips, her eyebrow raised, âBut I am 7 months pregnant.âÂ
JJ crosses her arms, matching Emilyâs attitude, âAnd you havenât been nauseous for months,â she sighs, looking her friend up and down, âYou look pale, Em. And youâre clearly in more pain than youâre letting on-â
Before JJ can carry on trying to get through to her friend the door opens, and Aaron walks in, his hands on his hips as he looks at the two of them.Â
âSweetheart, are you ok? Youâve been in here a long time.âÂ
âAaron, this is the womenâs bathroom,â she says through her teeth, her eyes full of fury as she looks at him.Â
âAnd youâre clearly not well,â he replies, brushing past the fact he shouldnât be in here with them, âYouâve been sick, and JJ said youâve been having some pain.âÂ
Emily sighs, closing her eyes for a moment before she looks at the two of them, âYour little âkeep on eye on Emilyâ club will be the death of me.âÂ
âThat is what we are actively trying to avoid,â JJ says as Aaron steps past her so he can be closer to his wife, his hand on Emilyâs lower back.Â
Any attempt to reason with her is cut off as she winces, the pain gripping at her like it hadnât before, taking her breath away.Â
âOk,â she says, grasping at Aaronâs arm, her nails digging into him even through his suit jacket and shirt, âThat really did hurt.âÂ
âI think we should take you to the hospital, Em,â Aaron says, watching as her eyes widen, her refusal to do so clear.Â
âWe can just go home,â she tries to reason, âIâm sure after a nap Iâll be fine.âÂ
âEm, weâre going,â he says sternly, using a tone he rarely did outside of work, âWe need to make sure everything is ok with her.âÂ
He knows heâs playing dirty as he says it, placing his hand on Emilyâs stomach, and the way her face falls slightly confirms it. His wife had always been stubborn when it came to her own health, often claiming she was fine even when she had a fever and more flu symptoms than he could count, but when it came to those she loved she was militant about it. Forcing him to stay in bed when he was sick. Checking Jackâs temperature every few hours to ensure it wasnât going in the wrong direction.Â
Sheâd refuse to go to the hospital for herself, but she would go for their daughter.Â
âOk, fine,â she says, clearing her throat to get rid of the slight shake to it, âBut when they send us home and say nothing is wrong, youâre buying me ice cream.â
He chuckles, kissing the top of her head to hide how it wavers, his concern for her pushed down as he realises she still hadnât relinquished her hold on him. A sure sign that the pain she was in hadnât subsided at all.Â
âYou can have whatever you want.âÂ
___
The first thing the doctors do is connect Emily to a fetal heart rate monitor. A reassurance that both she and Aaron had needed that the baby was fine, her heart rate as perfect as it always had been at every appointment.Â
The idea of the pain being contractions is quickly dismissed by the ER doctor. Emilyâs description of the pain not lining up with what they would expect. Itâs the first time Emily is genuinely concerned all day, all the possibilities of what could be wrong flooding her brain as they wait for the on-call OBYGN to come to see them.Â
Emily had tried to refuse painkillers, voicing her concerns about what that would mean for the baby, but the nurse had gently explained the pain had increased her, already slightly too high, blood pressure, and that would be a greater issue if they let it carry on. Â
âEverything will be ok, Em.âÂ
She shifts to look at her husband, her hand wrapped tightly around his, and she sighs, âWe donât know that,â she shakes her head at herself, laughing bitterly, âI should have known something was wrong, that it wasnât contractions. How am I supposed to be a mother if I canât even protect her when sheâs inside of me?âÂ
She feels the now familiar rush of hormones, her body feeling like it is burning with them as she starts to cry. She wipes furiously at her cheeks with the hand that isnât linked with his, briefly removing it from her stomach to do so. The pain was nonexistent now, the painkillers sheâd been gently encouraged to take doing their job, but it somehow makes her feel worse.Â
âEm, sweetheart. Youâve never been pregnant before, so how are you supposed to knowâ he says, repeating her own words from the car journey to the hospital back at her. The small mantra sheâd fallen into as she unnecessarily tried to justify her previous belief that this had just been another normal part of pregnancy. He pulls their joint hands up to his lips, pressing a kiss to her knuckles, âWeâre in the best place right now. And the doctor is going to come to examine you both,â he cups her face to make her look at him, wiping some of her tears away gently, âAnd youâre an amazing mom, ok? I wonât let you think otherwise. Not even for a second.âÂ
She chuckles, the sound wet as it catches on a sob, âYou wonât let me?âÂ
He shakes his head, smiling softly at her, âIâll even call Jack, make him tell you too.âÂ
She gasps playfully, âOh no, youâre pulling out the big guns.âÂ
âDamn right, I am.â He says, kissing her hand again, and she smiles at him, grateful for him in a way she couldnât possibly explain.
âEmily Prentiss?âÂ
They both look up, any reprieve they had found in the situation lost as quickly as they had found it as a kind-looking doctor walks into the room.Â
âYeah,â she replies, wincing as she sits up slightly, âThatâs me.â
âIâm Dr Mundy,â she says as she walks in, smiling at them as she places Emilyâs chart on the table over the bed before she takes a seat on Emilyâs right side, âLetâs see what baby is up to shall we?âÂ
Emily tightens her grip on Aaronâs hand, and he kisses her forehead, a silent reminder that he was there. That he always would be. She barely flinches when Dr Mundy puts the ultrasound jelly on her skin, her usual complaint about how cold it was nowhere to be found.Â
âDo you know what youâre having?â Dr Mundy asks conversationally as if she wasnât looking to see if something was wrong with their baby, and Emily finds herself irrationally irritated by the doctor's kindness. Thereâs a moment of silence before Dr Mundy speaks again, clearly trying to prompt them, âJust so I donât tell you accidentally.âÂ
âA little girl,â Aaron says, keeping an eye on Dr Mundyâs face, attempting to see if her expressions gave her away before she told them what was going on.Â
âOh thatâs lovely, all mine are girls,â she replies, her eyes fixed on the screen, âSo I can see what the issue is,â she says, âAnd I can assure you nothing is wrong with your baby,â she tilts the screen so they can look, the image different to what they are used to looking at, their little girl not visible on the screen, âCan you see that tube-like shape there?âÂ
They both look where she is pointing, and Emily nods, worse-case scenarios once again threatening to overwhelm her. âYes. What is it?âÂ
âIt is your appendix,â she says, placing the ultrasound wand back down and wiping the jelly from Emilyâs stomach, âAnd whilst itâs been a while since I last did a general surgery rotation, Iâd say itâs about twice the size it should be. Iâll have one of my colleagues come in to confirmâÂ
âWhâŚwhat does that mean?â Emily asks, her hand gripping Aaronâs so hard sheâs sure she might break it.Â
âIt means your appendix is misbehaving, and weâre going to need to get it out.âÂ
Aaron feels his throat go dry, and he swallows thickly, pushing his own panic down as far as it will go. He could fall apart later when all this was done and Emily and the baby were both fine.Â
âShe needs to have surgery?â He asks, glad that he has somehow managed to keep his voice even, none of his concern on display.
âYes, and sooner rather than later.â
___
He paces the hallway the entire time sheâs in surgery. Unable to sit still for even a moment, nervous energy making his entire body practically vibrate.Â
The kind nurse who had gently talked Emily into taking pain medication takes pity on him, introducing herself as Sara as she updates him regularly despite the surgery taking less than an hour.Â
He lets Jessica and the team know what's going on, and briefly talks to Jack who insists on coming in to see Emily. It wasnât lost on him that this wasnât the first time his son had begged him to see his mother, his voice cracking around the word âmomâ in a way that was achingly familiar. Aaron manages to talk Jack down, assuring him Emily would call him when she could, and that, all being well, sheâd be home the following day.Â
As soon as he sits next to her, his hand wrapped around hers, her skin warm and familiar, he feels weighed down. All of his previous restlessness is gone in an instant as he raises her hand to his lips to kiss her knuckles. She almost looked like she was sleeping normally. Her head lulled to the side and her mouth slightly open, the soft snores that had become the norm during her pregnancy slowly filling the room.Â
Heâd only held her hand once before they got together. It was when she was in hospital after her showdown with Doyle. Everyone else thought she was dead and heâd snuck into her room, determined to see her once before he had to leave, to pretend he thought she was gone too. Heâd always been strangely grateful that Haley had been beyond saving. That neither he nor his son had been forced to see her kept alive by machines that would ultimately fail to do what they were designed for. Heâd walked into Emilyâs room wholly unprepared for what heâd seen, the number of machines sheâd been connected to. The tube breathing for her.Â
It felt unnatural to see her like that. Someone who had always been so full of life, happy to call him out on his bullshit from the moment they met, laying in silence. Heâd sat next to her and reached out, her skin cold against his from the blood loss sheâd suffered as he held her hand. Heâd made her promises that he wasnât sure at the time he could keep. That he would bring her home. That heâd keep the team safe.Â
That if he saw her again heâd tell her how he felt about her.Â
When he looked back on it now he could see the fear sheâd so clearly been trying to hide when Doyle was after her, after all of them. The way she was silently screaming for help, although she denied it when she was asked. After that, after heâd buried her, heâd made sure to keep an eye out for it. To watch her carefully to ensure he didnât miss anything like it again.
As the doctors had wheeled her away to surgery, her hand in his until the last possible second, she didnât even try to hide her fear from him. She couldnât have if she wanted to, her emotions clear for all to see, her eyes shining with panic she couldnât contain. In a way he hates himself for, he wishes she had been able to hide it. The look on her face as the doctor explained that theyâd have to do the surgery, that both she and the baby were at risk if they didnât, was something heâd remember until he took his last breath. This day forever a part of him now, another chink in his armour along with the time heâd spent separated from his son. From when heâd cost Haley her life.Â
The first time Emily wakes up it isnât for long. Only a couple of minutes as she tries to fight the anaesthesia and fails. He holds her hand throughout, gently reassuring her as she panics even though he knows she wonât remember.
It takes almost another hour for her to wake up properly, the groan she lets out as she shifts on the bed enough to let him know sheâs lucid this time.Â
âAaron?âÂ
He stands up and sits on the edge of her bed leaning in to kiss her forehead, âHi sweetheart.âÂ
He pulls back and watches as realisation spreads across her face, her eyes going wide as her hand not tangled with his moves to her stomach. Pre-term delivery had been one of the more extreme risks of the surgery, and he knew his wife well enough to know it was likely one of the only ones she remembered.Â
âSheâs ok, you both areâ he assures her, answering the question she hadnât asked as he squeezes her hand tightly, âSheâs still exactly where she should be.âÂ
âEverything went ok?â She asks, sounding more vulnerable than he had heard her in a long time. Shadows of the woman who had once stood in his office and asked for space to investigate her childhood friendâs death cast across her face.Â
âEverything went perfectly,â he nods, reaching for the cup of water on the table next to her, offering it to her so she can take a sip, âThey want to keep you in overnight to monitor you both, but theyâre sure youâll be able to go home tomorrow.âÂ
Relief floods her whole body, and she blows out a breath as she continues to rub circles on her stomach. âGood,â she replies, smiling tightly at him, her lower lip trembling due to the force of her emotions, âThank you for not saying I told you so,â she adds, chuckling lightly as he looks confused, âFor not saying you were right to make us come here.âÂ
He leans in to kiss her, tucking some hair behind her ear, âEm, sweetheart, I would never say that about something like this. Iâm just glad youâre both ok,â he smiles at her, his dimples appearing in a way that she hopes their daughter will inherit from him, âPlus, I think youâre the only person I know who would try and pass off appendicitis as nothing.âÂ
She rolls her eyes at him, squeezing his hand to let him know it was done with love, âSays the man who once tried to leave the hospital just after he got blown up.âÂ
Any further conversation is cut off by the clearing of a throat. They both look towards the door to be met by the same nurse, Sara, who had been looking after them all day standing there with a curious look on her face, clearly having heard the tail-end of their conversation.Â
âI just need to check your bandages and your incision,â Sara says as she walks into the room, smiling as Aaron stands up, not letting go of Emilyâs hand as he gives the nurse room. She smiles at Emily, âThis husband of yours definitely got all his steps in today. He didnât sit down for a second whilst you were in surgery.â she quips, her eyes flashing with something close to poorly covered alarm as she moves Emilyâs hospital gown up, revealing the scar she had from Ian. The scar tissue now stretched across her bump, the landscape of her skin once again changing forever.Â
Emily winces as her skin pulls in a way that stings, the sensation of a freshly stitched wound something she could never get used to. Aaron squeezes her hand, gaining her attention as she turns her head to look at him.Â
âI spoke to Jack,â he says, trying to distract her as the nurse carries on, a sparkle in his eyes, âAccording to him this means you get to pick dinner for at least a week.â
She chuckles, âThatâs my boy.âÂ
âIs Jack your son?â Sara asks, gently reapplying a fresh bandage to Emilyâs stomach.Â
âYes,â Emily replies, a soft smile on her face, âHeâs our eldest.âÂ
They had long stopped explaining their family dynamic to people. Theyâd followed Jackâs lead on it, allowing him to decide Emilyâs role in his life. Heâd started calling her mom just before they got married, a change that had come out of nowhere and rendered her briefly speechless. Haley was and always would be a part of their lives, and Emily knew, having heard her last words, that sheâd be happy Jack was loved.Â
âSounds like a mamaâs boy.âÂ
Aaron laughs, leaning down to kiss the top of his wifeâs head, âLike you wouldnât believe,â Emily rolls her eyes in response, he waits until they are alone again before he carries on, âIâm just hoping this one ends up being on my side or Iâll be forever outnumbered.âÂ
Emily chuckles, shaking her head at her husband, âIn your dreams, honey,â she says as he sits back down on the bed, âSheâs 100% going to be on my side,â she jokes, her eyes crinkling with the force of her smile, âAs she should, given the fact Iâm the one growing her.âÂ
He smiles, pressing his hand into her belly and chuckling when he feels the familiar movement underneath, âWell, I canât argue with that.âÂ
She looks him up and down. Even with her head swimming with painkillers and the lasting effects of the anaesthetic, she could see how he was barely holding himself together. His hair was a mess, a sign heâd spent their time apart running his hands through it. His tie was shoved unceremoniously into his suit jacket pocket, a small bit of the silk material sticking out, and the top button of his shirt was undone. To anyone who cared to look, he looked flustered, as you would expect of someone whose pregnant wife had required emergency surgery.
But she knew she saw more than anyone else, that she was the only person heâd let see it.Â
His jaw was tense, his teeth clenched together in a way she knows his dentist will chastise him for when he next goes. The bags under his eyes seemed more pronounced. She knew him well enough to know the comparisons he would have been making. Thinking what sheâd gone through before, and what heâd lost. It makes guilt briefly overwhelm her, her cheeks burning pink with it.Â
âIâm sorry,â she says, smiling sadly at him as his eyes meet hers, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. âFor worrying you. For being stupid about coming here.âÂ
âOh, sweetheart no,â he replies, shifting closer, kissing her cheek before he rests his forehead against hers, âYou have nothing to be sorry for,â he closes his eyes and allows himself to enjoy the feeling of her so close by. Of her breath skipping across his face, their little girl shifting beneath Emilyâs skin between them. Being near her, near them, manages to close up all the wounds that had reopened that afternoon. A solace he canât believe he ever lived without. âItâs just been a long day.âÂ
She nods, their foreheads knocking slightly, before she cups the back of his head, encouraging him to pull back to look at her.Â
âYouâre telling me,â she jokes, her smile fading slightly as her eyes catch the time on the clock on the wall, well aware that visiting hours would likely be over soon, âYouâre going to have to go soon.âÂ
âIâll see if I can talk someone into-â
âNo,â she says, shaking her head, forcing a smile, âYou should. You need some rest, and Jack will be worried. Heâll need you. Baby Girl and I will be just fine.âÂ
He wants to argue but knows it wonât achieve anything, so he simply nods in agreement, âI suppose even you would struggle to get yourself into trouble in a hospital.âÂ
She gasps in outrage, and any response she may have had is swallowed up in a kiss.Â
âAaron?â She asks as she pulls back, scrunching her nose up slightly.Â
âYes, Em?â
âIs it just me, or have Pen and Derek completely ruined the phrase âbaby girl?ââÂ
-x-
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another personal crisis here we go again woo
So long story short, the last eight or so months of my life have sucked ass and now I want to quit my PhD program.
The longer version is that in October of last year I got a kidney infection that landed me in the emergency room, then the worst autism burnout of my life hit (I couldn't even communicate verbally and was absolutely dysfunctional for weeks), then I got a toxic thyroid nodule that was overproducing hormones and made my whole body go to hell. For context, at baseline I already have ehlers danlos syndrome and dysautonomia so the thyroid thing was just too much. Then I got a horribly inflamed wisdom tooth (that still needs to be removed as of me writing this), and my OCD got so bad that I couldn't eat anything for days, lost weight until my BMI was around 15 and a half, and almost ended up in a psychiatric hospital with a feeding tube.
I have only started recovering from all this in May and had to immediately jump back into uni work cause I missed so much and sick leave is not really a thing in the program. I was supposed to be on break until October but I need to scrape together some semblance of work to pass the so called mid term evaluation cause I'm a second year student and we're supposed to already have a bunch of stuff done at this point.
Well, after all I've been through, I kind of lost the ability to care about work. I've been losing interest in science for a while now but I think getting so ill was the nail in the coffin of that special interest somehow. I used to be extremely passionate about what I did, during my Master's I was working/studying 70 hours a week and I was the happiest I've ever been. Now I can barely make myself work on a meta-analysis for an hour or two a day. I'm currently doing some work for a class and it's almost physically painful. I just do not care so much and having to drag myself kicking and screaming into it feels like chewing through a wall of granite.
I want to quit this program so bad but the issue is that my stipend is almost the only source of income for me and my partner (the 15% or so being his student stipend). If I were to quit, I would need to find a job, and I just do not feel able to jump into anything any time soon. We have a decent amount in savings but I don't know how long that would last us.
So I don't know what to do. On one hand, I feel like I'm wasting my life on something I do not care about while I could be working on video essays and books that I am immensely passionate about. On the other, quitting now seems like a childish tantrum and I don't know what I would do without this money. I guess I could go to my parents for help but they aren't doing that well financially and I doubt they would be able to support me. Which means I am stuck.
Idk why I'm even typing all this, I guess I just needed to vent. I am so tired of my body and brain being like this. My supervisor and research team also suck but that's a whole another story. Basically, I feel trapped by this stupid PhD and I don't know what to do. I wish I never had entered this program tbh and I'm constantly wishing I would get kicked out of it for other reasons. But I've no idea how I would get money without it. So yeah. Sucks to suck.
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