#cause i work my main job monday through thursday

[interesting-interludes]

hello!! <3 i recently read tcoc and i love it so much! i was just wondering if you had an upload schedule or is it just whenever you finish the chapters? in no way am i asking you to upload faster, just wondering!! :)

hi love!! thank you so much!! glad you're enjoying the story :) i just update as i finish each chapter, some being longer than others haha! trying to update more regularly but you know how life is sometimes lol. hope you enjoy future chapters!!

[shubblelive]

— PAGES TURNED

summary : wilbur is a quiet guy, but there’s so much more to him than he shows. over swapped shifts, post it notes and paperback novels, you unravel him bit by bit.

genre : fluff

warnings : mentions of alcohol/drinking

pairing : musicianbur x fem!librarian! reader

pronouns : none (i think) reader is described as a “girl” and using other feminine descriptors

featuring : cc!wilbur soot, musicianbur, college!librarian! wilbur

word count : 2.6k

note : sorry this took. one million years. i had my exams and i turned 17, and then i went out of state to visit family, but i’ve had this in my drafts and i’ve been working on and off for a while. i hope you enjoy this, i’m thinking about maybe making it multi part? if people are into that? @starsyoubreaklikesugardust <333

You sincerely regret covering for your coworker. The campus library has a consistent, albeit small, staff. You work the same days every week; Monday morning, Tuesday afternoon and Thursday morning. The head librarian, Theresa, was more than willing to give you extra shifts whenever you needed. The library was where most of the richer students’ parents donated, and you were insanely lucky to get your job there. As a result of the consistent schedule, you work with two people regularly; Henry, who shares your major, and Janine, who’s one of the sweetest people you know. The rest of your coworkers, you knew exclusively through Theresa and her insistence of having staff get togethers at any opportunity.

There’s Chastity, who lives on your floor, and her girlfriend Kate. You got a front row seat to their first kiss after three months of egging them on with Janine at Henry’s 20th birthday. There are three more workers that work during the week on alternating shifts to you; Sam, the newest member of the term; Hae-Won, the only person who had worked there longer than you and Theresa; and Wilbur.

Wilbur, who was currently your new coworker as you started working five days a week. Hae-Won’s mother was sick, and Theresa had begged you to cover for them while they flew interstate to go take care of her. You’d been working at the campus library since you were a freshman, and they’d always been good to you. You had agreed, and now you were needing to rush from class to the library after every single one of your lectures. Sam, Henry and Theresa had all assured you that if you were late because of class you wouldn’t lose your job, but you felt bad leaving them with all the work.

Wilbur has barely spoken a word to you since you’d started working the same shifts. He’s not rude or angry, just quiet as far as you can tell. You like him. You both keep to yourselves, and Wilbur doesn’t snitch on you for smuggling your sandwiches out of the office when you browse the stacks during your breaks.

He doesn’t get mad at you for being late when you are, and he always puts stuff on the top shelf whenever you ask. He’s soft, and incredibly smart. You learn about him through hushed evenings in the office, both of you dead on your feet after you’ve locked the doors, neither of you wanting to leave quite yet. The low light gives his eyes an amber glow the same colour as sun as it peeks through the slats in the blinds of the office, surrounded on all four sides by large windows. The fishbowl, the kids call it when they come in on Friday afternoons. Not quite, you think. You’re both too boring to be fish, you make a joke when you hear a young boy say it. Wilbur gets a look in his eyes that he keeps for the next hour until you confront him. “Sometimes people don’t look a fish ‘cause they’re interesting,” he all-but whispers when you ask, eyes aglow and top row of teeth pulling on his bottom lip. “Sometimes they’re just pretty.”

You get to know Wilbur over campus coffees, and handmade bookmarks inspired by the paperbacks he checks out every week. Through his handwritten post-it note on the corner of the main monitor at the front desk, a stack of books with a cat perched on top, his writing slanted but mainly kept between the spines of each book. A request for a novel you’ve never heard of, but vow to search for. Theresa is the one who handles incoming books, but that’s not going to stop you from finding it yourself.

You begin to find those sticky-notes around more and more. There’s one resting on top of your backpack for you to find as you return from the bathroom. That’s a pretty skirt, the first one says. You should wear your hair like that more often, one three days later on the stack of returns he’s asked you to reshelve. There’s one a week after that forces a smile on your face. This made me think of you. It’s resting on a tiny journalist style notebook, one where you flip on the top. It’s got a quote from your favourite novel on it, and you slip the sticky note inside it gingerly, tucking it into the front pocket of your backpack. That afternoon during your lunch break, you go to the craft store instead of staying in and get yourself some post it notes. Yours are in the shape of a lemon, and when Wilbur goes into the fishbowl to grab his stuff once your shift is over, he finds one stuck to the side of his bag. Two words, ten numbers, all in your handwriting. Call me.

So he does, he calls you that very night. Despite the late time, you guys stay on the phone for nearly three hours. The next shift you two share, you tease him. “I thought you were meant to be the quiet type,” you giggle as his ears turn pink, him intentionally facing away from you to shield the smitten grin on his face as he pretends to write something on the staff calendar. “You had a lot to say the other night.”

It continues that way for a while, nightly phone calls in which you finally get to hear him talk unabashedly about the things he’s interested in. He’s in a band, he confesses shyly one night when you’re both on the verge of sleep. You don’t reply for a second, and he thinks you might have dozed off. You pipe up after a moment, voice heavy with sleep and Wilbur thinks he can’t possibly like you more. “Your first gig’s Saturday, right?” He nods, even if you can’t see him. You keep going anyway. “I’ll be there.”

He wishes you hadn’t told him, because he spends the next three days stressing. Performing always makes him a little anxious, a healthy amount of butterflies, as his friends say. But this is too much. He changes his shirt three times on Saturday night, twice because he wants you to like it, and another time because he sweated through the third one. He blames it on the intensity of the lights, when the drummer asks him if he’s okay, but they can all see the way his eyes are locked onto your frame, tucked into a little corner of the underground bar they’re playing. They play for about forty minutes, and you’re a little embarrassed to admit that you’ve never heard a single song they did.

Wilbur goes into the little backstage area after their last song, and his bandmates will swear he’s never moved so fast in his life. He’s chugging a bottle of water while trying to wrestle his guitar off his back, his glasses fogged up from the sweat covering his face. there are a few bothersome strands sticking to his cheeks, but he doesn’t care about that. He just wants to see you.

He gets to your corner and the table is empty. No, the table has things on it. Your chair is empty. There is something on the table. He reaches it and flops down into the chair you were just sitting in. A waitress brings him a glass of lemonade that you ordered for him and he gulps it down gratefully. He allows himself a few moments to bask in the post-show high. You might not be there, but that only brought his mood down slightly. He did it.

He is a little hurt that you didn’t stick around, but it’s nearing 10 and he knows you have a test on Monday. He takes another long swig of his drink, and reaches blindly for the one other object on the table; a paperback novel. It’s his favourite. He didn’t even remember telling you it was his favourite, but somehow you knew. His heart hammers inside his chest and he has to remember how to breathe for a second. He’d looked everywhere for that, even going as far as to see if he could order it online.

He flips open the cover, just to check, and he finds a scrawled message beneath the title page. Heard you were hoping to get your hands on one. I hope you enjoy. You’ll have to tell me all about it.

And he does. It takes him less than a week to read the entire book, and he comes to you on a random Thursday, eyes sparkling with a glint you’ve only ever seen that one night he was performing, and he leans over the front desk where you’re standing and before you can even process it he’s taking your head in his hands and pulling you into a firm hug. You’re not as tall, so you’re on your toes as you lean over the desk, struggling to wrap your arms around his torso as he hugs you.

And then he’s talking, loud and clear, and if the library was open people would be giving him dirty looks for how unashamedly he’s speaking to you. You revel in it. He keeps his hands enclosing yours and you lean over the desk to get as close to him as you can, wanting to absorb every single word out of his mouth. Wanting to breathe it in and keep it between your ribs.

Eventually he lets you go to go do some work, but you decide at that moment that you never want him to shut up again.

So, he doesn’t. With constant encouragement from you, Wilbur becomes more outspoken. Of course, there were the phone calls, but he was still reserved in person. He seems to take up more space over the next few weeks, unfurling slowly like an old painting, perfectly preserved with so much beauty to show once he was out in the open. It starts as small things, the way he calls out to you across the library after closing instead of approaching you to tell you softly. You’re almost in mourning, feeling like you’d lost that closeness with Wilbur that only you seem to have. The notion that once you put something out into the world it no longer belongs to you. Not that he ever did, not like that at least.

You’d feel like that and then Wilbur would do something so small, so sacred, that your heart would ache. Whispering jokes in your ear, fingers brushing yours when he passes you a book he thinks you’ll enjoy, grabbing onto both of your hands when he got so excited about something that he needed a physical tether to you to stop himself from floating away, into the air that he was now filling so wonderfully.

The others started noticing it too; Theresa mentioning to you how much more confident he seemed after he’d left the room, Sam, who brightened now that Wilbur seemed to return his enthusiasm, even the bassist of Wilbur’s band, who you ran into at a coffee shop, said he was different.

His band got another gig at a bigger bar, and of course you were invited again. This time you planned on sticking around for the whole thing, letting him wrap you in a sweaty hug once he ran off stage. “You were so good,” you gush, your breath on his ear sending shivers down his spine. His hands ghost up and down your arm, and you can’t bring yourself to let go of him. “But, Wil. Seriously, enough is enough.”

He pulls away just enough to get a clear picture of your face, shadows covering one side, the dim lighting in the venue not doing enough to take away from just how pretty you look.

“You guys need to start playing songs I know the words to.”

Your fake annoyance makes him laugh, one of the most genuine laughs you’ve ever heard from him. Warm, and thick, like caramel. Like his eyes when the two of you are huddled together in the fishbowl and he’s laughing, like there will never be enough time to spend with you. Because there isn’t.

His hands stop in their motions, and he notices your bare arms. “You’re freezing, lovely. Here.” He steps away from you and shrugs off his button up, leaving him in just a white-sleeved tee as he guides your arms in. The sleeves cover your hands and he goes as far as to roll them up delicately. His face is an inch from yours as he unwraps his hands from your wrist, and your fingers toy gently with a stray curl that bounces when you release it from your grip.

This time it’s you who takes Wilbur’s jaw in your hands, fingers running over his stubble. He’s drunk, hasn’t had a drop of alcohol the entire time, but well and truly intoxicated as he pulls you into him again, nose pressed to your hairline. “I’m so proud of you.” You mumble into his shoulder, and for a second, time is frozen.

You’re both brought out of it by rousing cheers from Wilbur’s bandmates, the guitarist and drummer both bullying Wilbur for not introducing you to them earlier. The bassist greets you warmly, and the three of them try to convince you both to go out for a drink. Wilbur’s the one who ends up ushering you out, arm around your shoulders as he placates his bandmates. Throwing a “We’ve got an early morning tomorrow at work,” over his shoulder as he steered you towards his car.

He’s only half lying. You do both have work the next day, however the library’s closed and Theresa’s hosting a party to thank everyone for their hard work. It starts at two, so you’re revelling in the fact that you get to sleep in. That doesn’t stop you from inviting Wilbur up to your apartment, though. Nor does it stop the two of you deciding to watch a movie together on the couch in your living room. It doesn’t even stop Wilbur from whispering to you while the credits roll. “You look so lovely tonight.” You flush, tearing your eyes from his face, looking down at where his hands are on your waist instead. “Can I kiss you?”

It definitely doesn’t stop you from nodding your head emphatically, your hands delving into his hair as he presses his lips to yours for the first time.

He tastes like spearmint gum and the mango of your lip gloss, his hands steadying you both and gripping onto the couch cushion. He pulls away just enough to murmur, “You’re wonderful,” and suddenly you’re so happy you’re laughing. He laughs too, taking your head in his hands until you’re kissing him again, and when he leaves nearly two hours later he’s gripping your hands so tight your breath hitches, promising he’ll see you at the party later.

And hours later, when you’re sipping on lemonade and leaning against one of the windows of the fishbowl, he sidles up to you and leans his head on top of yours. “My pretty girl.” Your hand wraps around his, and the two of you stand there for a few minutes in a comfortable silence, watching your coworkers mingle. He’d never been so outward in his affections, not when surrounded by people you both worked with. He was a reserved man, preferring to let loose around his family, his bandmasters, and you. But of course, that doesn’t stop him from pressing a kiss to your hairline, the two of you inside the library office, gazing outside into the rest of the library. “So so pretty.”

[ladyazulina]

Azu is Talking — Emotional Rollercoaster

It was a stellar week, if randomly dropping emotions here and there is what you would call ✨ stellar ✨.

Weekly Quests Overview Monday: Celebrate partner's New Year ✨ Tuesday: Catch up with Iron Valley's posts. Wednesday: Get my passport. Thursday: Start new backstage section. Friday: Brainstorm friend's birthday gift. Saturday: Read new solo TTRPG.

I'm not even going to try to cover it, there did was something stellar. I was a stellar mess.

Rolling down in the pre hormones state, this is the lowest I have fallen since I met my partner. Which was a huge and nice streak. The last one was in November, and it was so hard I was trying to convince myself to reach out to any helpline. I did not, as I was gonna have my therapy session the next day, but I was going through hell that night.

Maybe not the whole week, but the ball started rolling in advance, and this past weekend was dreadful. I did the best I could to distract myself, but my mind doesn't turn off.

Let's go back to the week, though:

Monday

Quest of the Day: Celebrate partner's New Year ✨.

It was my partner's birthday and I was so excited to celebrate the first one I could with him. It was stressful, though, ‘cause I had to fight to reserve the day just for us. From his side. (I mean, I know, if he had wanted to do something else or with someone else, I would have been quiet.)

Even though he had to go to work, I'm certain I did a great job. We started it the day prior to make up for the hours we would miss while he was working, but I showered him with lovely gifts.

I've been working on them for MONTHS. It was nice to finally get them out.

The rest and details are just for us though, but it's been so long since I've been waiting for a day that wasn't mine. Starting to plan to beat myself next year already ✨

Tuesday

Quest of the Day: Catch up with Iron Valley's posts.

Did I do that?… Oh, yeah, I did!

Linney's campaign's over, sadly. At least for now. All I had from their first day is already out. You can find the whole of it on Patreon, but a part and excerpts from the rest are as well on Tumblr, Medium, Substack, and Inkspired. Delight yourself to your heart's content 💙

I adore Linney, but I'm sure I'll continue the story mainly because of Chase. Have you met him yet? He's delicious 😋 While rereading (you do that a lot when you're posting stuff, or is that just me?), I figured out demonic lore I doubt I thought about while I was playing, and as I never brought it up explicitly (’cause I doubt it ever came to mind), I can still play with it in the future. If When I get back to it. And I just can tell you… it satisfies a lot of my imagination 🤭

My Personal Campaign starred this week as well and I thought of the best way of describing it:

Celeste is an amnesiac human who has to find out why she's running away from the city.

The only free post is this first one, the rest will be locked behind a paywall on Patreon because, even though this is just another story of mine, I poured a lot of me into the main character. It felt private. It was private, that's what ‘personal’ stands for. And I know someday I will feel a lot better about broadly sharing it, but for now, it will be like that.

Iron Valley, Personal Campaign, is being live every Tuesday.

I also was happy I got to get back with the reviews. I still have a lot of them to share and I want to keep the reading schedule, so there won't be anything new on Patreon for a while. Sadly, whatever has kept me away from posting them on the rest of my accounts has kept me from posting the most recent ones in spaces like Tumblr, GoodReads, The StoryGraph, and Instagram (which are the easiest ones to share on immediately). I have three new titles in the belt, so I should schedule it… It just feels so weird, it just never needed to be in the schedule for me to sit and post them, but I guess I'm more messy now. I need to write down everything or it fell through.

Read this week’s review, The Last Ever After.

Wednesday

Quest of the Day: Get my passport.

My Wednesdays have been taken away from me lately but I hope that was the last one. Because now that I have the workshops up and running, I want to at least make one post talking about them. On Instagram, I mean. It was going to be a thematic Wednesday task, but it just was dragged under with all this passport madness.

I'm sure I'll write a whole particular post about this process, so I'm not gonna rant more than the minimum indispensable.

After my photo finally being approved, my biometric data painstakingly taken, and the delivery date scheduled, I just had to go get my passport.

This little book has given me so much stress and many headaches… But just after a little hell of a time, enough to take out the rest of my day, I got it.

I did it.

It took a little more than a month, but I finally have my passport.

Now onto the visa 🫠

My dad wants to take me to the US, so I need to have a visa for that. But, more importantly, I need a visa to go to my partner.

As I missed the visit window time for the embassy, I settled with an email I didn't thought I was going to get an answer from. It didn't even took long. I scheduled it to go the next morning and I had an answer before noon.

My intention to have a winter (more like summer? He's on the opposite side of the world from me) vacation was destroyed before I even got time to think about what I wanted for lunch. It was a lot to digest but that only meant our plans changed, not that they disappeared.

We will still be hit by it every now and then as the days pass by, but we will also be solidifying the next attempt, so nothing was really lost (more than expectations, I mean). (I know very well that expectations are A Big Thing™️ and play a great deal in long-distance relationships, I shouldn't have said that—in that way at least, but I forgot how the original sentence or intent went. I'm sorry.)

Thursday

Quest of the Day: Start new backstage section.

I certainly didn’t start it. I was down. That was the day in which my partner and I talked about our plans crumbling, so we weren’t feeling exactly great. He was busy and I certainly busied myself with editions (finally, I started them! But, uh oh, did I managed to keep it constant?), so in some way, we kept ourselves together anyway.

I had my first level 5 English quiz and I got a 19/20. Neat. I didn’t find where the mistake was, though, so I will have to carry my curiosity to the grave. And after that, I went on doing English homework until I was fed up with it. I have to start this week’s one already, but I still have a few days to do so.

The Supernatural episodes weren’t nice to us. My partner got to enjoy them somehow, but the wound was fresh and they were pushing their fingers on it. It also could have been because of my hormones, but welp. We survived? Yay?

Friday

Quest of the Day: Brainstorm friend's birthday gift.

I have a certain idea of what I want to write about, but I didn’t dwell on that.

My partner received the hit of the news that morning, so we spent a little time licking our wounds.

I did nothing else apart from the editions, which is good anyway. I mean, I’m trying to balance my body’s needs and all that, so if I needed to take a step away to breathe, I was going to do so.

And I did so, more and less, all weekend.

Saturday

Quest of the Day: Read new solo TTRPG.

I wanted to start the last TTRPG I received, but emotional baggage is never taken into account. I mean, I never do, it’s impossible to prevent.

So I spent the whole weekend watching a Dorama. The hormones brought a destructive wave of feelings and thoughts I rather didn’t pay attention to, and distracting my mind is the best way to ignore them. It wasn’t easy. It didn’t made them go. But the days passed faster and I stayed less in those moments and emotions.

I started to feel a little better last night, when I drafted half of this update. And though today has been another hardship, aren’t I here? I say it counts as something.

This new ‘template’ just occurred to me and I’m not sure if I should share what I think would be next (this) week’s main quests, but I will pass right now. I don’t want to see what the week has in store for me—not in the mood just yet.

The most important one at the moment is getting back into place. Why does it always seem like I’m always fighting to get back in place?

[iwillbeinmynest]

The Monte Carlo Job - Steve x Reader(f)   Chapter 2

Authors Notes: Here comes Part 2 Y'all! I hope you are enjoying this series. I know it came out of nowhere but I was feeling sad and wanted to just post something so I started a new series, even though I haven’t finished my last one... Anywayyysss, Have some more Steve!

Word Count: 1.8k

Notes/Warnings: Your typical action/MI type trope. There is glitz and glam as well as running for your life and fighting to stay alive. Bad guys and allies, guns and galas. Mentions of death, one sleazy and creepy guy who makes one too many passes, use of guns, fighting, drinking, being framed for murder and clearing your name. It’s a wild ride folks!

Masterlist   Series Masterlist

Chapter 2

Y/N and Steve walked hand in hand back to the main floor of the museum where the actual Gala was being held.

The grand room was littered with tall tables and waiters with trays of glasses. There was a quartet in the back corner playing classical music and a small stage to the right with a lone microphone on it.

Bucky waved at them through the crowd and caught Steve’s eye.

“There you two are.” Nat smiled when they reached the table. “What were you up to, huh?”

Y/N shook her head. “Not what you think, we actually looked at the art.”

“Of course you were,” Bucky said. “Cause Stevie, here, wouldn’t dare do anything scandalous.”

“I would.” Steve defended himself. “I just happen to know the guy in charge of security and I know that all of the cameras are running.”

They chuckled.

“So,” Y/N looked around the room. “Who’s the target?”

Steve raised his brows as he scanned the floor. “Not sure yet. I recognize a few faces so I’ll have to make my rounds but I’ll let you know when I need a trophy on my arm to close a deal.”

Y/N smacked his arm and Nat and Bucky laughed.

“Please,” Y/N laughed, “If anything, you’re the trophy in this relationship.”

“She’s right.” Nat gracefully snatched two glasses of champagne from a passing tray. Bucky did the same. “You should hear the dirty things the women at our spin class say when you pick us up every thursday.”

“Excuse me?” Steve’s eyes widened.

Y/N laughed. “Oh come on, sweetheart. Girls will be girls, right?”

Nat held up her glass for a toast, “Here’s to another fantastic evening together. May we land a new client or have a blast tryin’.”

“Cheers!” They all raised their glasses.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *

Y/N and Nat usually stuck together and tonight was no different. They were standing a few tables over speaking with what Steve could only presume were other wives and girlfriends.

Steve and Bucky had been making their rounds, speaking with previous clients and making new acquaintances. These men were the richest of the rich, and that’s coming from Steve who lives beyond comfortably. The men tried to talk to Steve and Bucky about the military and people they knew that served.

It took Steve all he had not to roll his eyes, clearly these men had never seen war and the fact that they talked as though they had was infuriating.

“So, I say to the man,” A gentleman in an ascot smiled and waved his cigar around. “Either you pay me or I’ll send Howard!”

The other men around them laughed, Bucky and Steve smiled politely but shared a look.

“Well said, John.” Steve set a hand to the man’s back. “Excuse us.”

Both he and Bucky nodded and walked away from the table.

“I swear, Steve,” Bucky clenched his jaw and tried to take a subtle deep breath. “I don’t know why you make me come to these things.”

“I know,” Steve shook his head as they headed for Y/N and Nat. “But if I have to suffer, I’m not doing it alone.”

“I thought that’s why Y/N is here?”

“And make her listen to that crap, no way. I bring her so I can see her dolled up like that.” He nodded at his wife.

“We got lucky didn’t we?” Bucky watched Nat run her ring finger around the brim of her whiskey glass. She looked over and gave him a wink.

“That’s an understatement.” Steve smiled when Y/N followed Nat’s gaze and smiled at Steve.

Y/N and Nat excused themselves from the group of women and walked arm in arm to their husbands.

“You boys havin’ fun, yet?” Nat asked as she let go of Y/N and leaned into Bucky’s chest.

“Not at all.” He kissed the top of her head.

“How about you?” Steve asked Y/N.

She shrugged her shoulders, “Those women don’t know anything about what their husbands or boyfriends do. They’re just having a bragging party.”

“I wasn’t talking about prospective clients, babe, but I appreciate that your mind is on the company.”

Y/N smiled. “Well, you’re really gonna wish we’d landed one when you see the receipt for this dress.”

Steve closed his eyes and chuckled.

“Your girl has expensive taste.” Bucky teased his best friend.

“Nat picked it out.” Y/N clarified.

Both Steve and Bucky nodded.

“Now, see,” Steve grinned. “That makes more sense.”

Steve leaned down and kissed the side of Y/N’s head. “You ready to call it a night?”

“Yeah,” She smiled up at him. “I am.”

“Okay, then.” Steve held out his elbow and she wrapped her hand around it. “Shall we?”

As the two couples were making their way towards the exit, a man stepped out in front of them.

“Are you Mr. Rogers of Stealth Security?” The man asked. His Russian accent slowed his words but he spoke english well.

Steve held out a hand and the man took it in a firm shake. “I am. Have we met?”

“I’m afraid not.” The man straightened his spine and leaned his head back slightly. “My name is Petrov Lebedev and your reputation precedes you.” he grinned.

Steve raised his brows and lowered his arm, taking Y/N’s hand in his and squeezing it as an apology for staying longer. “Does it?”

“Yes. I have heard that you offer exceptional service in the matter of private security.”

A woman appeared at Petrov’s back. Y/N smiled at her but, the woman simply looked Y/N up and down then at Petrov.

Y/N was shocked at her blatant rudeness but kept quiet.

Beside her was another man, who could only be described as seedy. He was shorter than Steve but just as fit. His beard was stubbly and seemed to have a few scars in it where the hair no longer grew. He also eyed Y/N but in a way that made her squirm.

Steve didn’t miss that. He shifted his weight to land mostly in front of Y/N. “And who escorts you tonight?” Steve asked with very little patience, but he covered it with politeness to Petrov.

Petrov looked over and then back to Steve. “This is Sacha, my right hand and partner. And this,” He put an arm around the woman’s waist, tugging her forward. “Is Katryana.”

Steve nodded but didn’t address them. He turned to Bucky. “This is my partner, Bucky, and his wife, Natasha. And this,” he eyed Sacha hard, “Is my wife.”

Y/N straightened and tipped her head up. “Nice to meet you.” She made sure to only say that to Petrov, who hadn’t offended her, yet.

Petrov smiled then turned his attention to Steve. “I have an event coming up in three weeks in Monte Carlo and I am looking for a full team to escort myself, Sacha and Katryana around. I’m looking for everything from bodyguards to security during transportation and whatnot for the two days that we are there.”

Steve inhaled to speak but Petrov cut him off. “Money is no object and I assure you I can pay whatever you ask. Please, I want the best of the best and I have been promised that that is you.”

Steve recognized the touch of flattery but didn’t care for it.

“Well, how about I take your card and I will have my secretary check our schedule and see what we can come up with?” Steve offered. No way was he about to accept on the spot.

“Of course, of course,” Petrov smiled. “I do have one additional request though, which I understand might make a difference on the bill.”

Steve smiled and waited.

“I would like to see you there, personally. You can even bring your wife and make a trip of it, yes?”

Steve took a deep breath to unclinch his jaw and grinned. “We will consider it, schedule pending, of course.”

“Yes, of course.” Petrov pulled a card from the inside pocket of his coat. “I look forward to working with you.”

“Likewise,” Steve took it and slid it into his pocket without a glance. “Have a good evening.”

Steve took Y/N’s hand and escorted her to the foyer where all four of them collected their coats.

“I don’t like him, Steven.” Y/N said with a sigh. It was rare that she spoke out against a client but there was something about Sacha that she absolutely did not like.

“I know, I’m sorry.” He stood behind her as a shield, separating her from the ballroom, “We can discuss it on Monday. Forget about him for now.” He took her hand and kissed her palm.

Bucky huffed. “If Sacha had looked at Nat that way, I’d have laid him out right there.”

Steve snapped to Bucky and glared at him, “You think I didn’t want to?”

Bucky swallowed and took a breath. He held the door open for Nat and then Y/N and Steve. “I didn’t mean it like that. I know you would, I just-”

Nat put her hand on his chest and he wrapped his arms around her. “Let it go, baby.” She cooed and kissed him quickly.

Steve walked away to pay the valet. Y/N walked half way and waited for him.

“I’m sorry.” Y/N said sincerely when the valet ran off to bring the car around.

Steve looked at her curiously, his frustration fading slightly, “For what?”

She shrugged her shoulders and shook her head. “All of that. Sacha, Petrov, Bucky. And you know he didn’t mean it like that, right? He was just as heated as you.”

“I really doubt that.” Steve grumbled.

“Steve,” She said his name with a tone that urged for his attention. He looked down at her. “I’m fine. Totally over it. He didn’t touch me, everything is fine.”

“He didn’t have to touch you, did you see-”

Bucky passed with Nat to retrieve their car and Steve inhaled sharply.

Just then the valet returned and handed the keys to Steve.

Y/N took his hands. “He loves you, and me. He just talks too much.” She offered a small smile.

Steve nodded. “Yeah, I know.” He fiddled with the keys to his Tesla.

“Don’t be mad at Bucky for something you would have done if the situation was reversed.” Y/N added.

Steve nodded then pulled Y/N into a tight hug, kissing the crown of her head. “I hate it when you do that.”

“Do what?” She looked up at him.

He leaned down, close enough to kiss her. “Fix everything.” He smiled against her mouth and kissed her softly.

Bucky and Nat approached calmly.

Y/N hugged Nat and Steve and Bucky clasped arms in a firm shake. Steve nodded to Bucky and Bucky nodded back.

“Have a good night.” Y/N said to Nat with a kiss to the cheek.

“We will, you too.” She smiled. Both of them were relieved to see the balance restored between their husbands.

Steve waved to Bucky as they walked off then turned to open the door for Y/N. She stopped close against him before she sat down into the car. “Thanks for protecting me.” She patted his chest.

He took her hand and held it over his heart, “Always.”

* * * * * * *

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[mizusenshisongs]

Hi guys! Just wanted to let you know I was still alive.

I know I haven't posted any songs since January. I haven't given up on the channel I swear!

Basically what happened was that I started a 2nd job. It's an independent contract job so I basically can just work on it when I have time, as long as everything gets turned in by the end of the day every Thursday.

Unfortunately, I am also still working my main day job, which is at a grocery store. (They started me out as part-time with the 2nd job so that if it didn't pan out, I'd still have my old job, with its income and benefits, etc). And even though things are getting better with COVID here in the U.S. (vaccines! YAY), I'm still working like 35-40 hours/week pretty much every week, probably more since I end up having to stay late a lot (I mean, I had some trouble getting done on time before, but since the pandemic I swear it's gotten worse).

So between those two things - not to mention I usually end up having to sleep in just to get a decent amount of sleep - I have wound up with hardly any free time over the last few months. I got lucky the week of Rei's birthday and didn't have stuff to do for my 2nd job, but then I kinda got a cold/allergy thing and so I was trying to not lose my voice, so I didn't do a cover for Rei's birthday, though I did think about it.

Also this pandemic has just wreaked havoc on my mental health so TBH I'm surprised I haven't lost my mind by now. Some days I'm surprised I can get through the day. This last Monday I had like the WORST day ever (basically just one thing after another) and somehow I survived.

I admit, getting my vaccine (which I got a few days ago) has helped somewhat. It was scary getting it, but I feel relieved now. Kinda like I did the first time I got tested, even before I knew the result. I just needed peace of mind. I'm an "essential worker," after all.

Anyway, I hope to get back to doing covers soon. I'll probably make up the birthday covers I didn't do (cause I still want to do them), and maybe some other stuff. There aren't any Senshi birthdays until the end of June, so that should give me time to catch up. I finally got a vacation week next week (my first in almost a year - I only get 3 a year so I had to wait for them to reset) so I might be able to start then.

[doof-doofblog]

"It's All Her Fault!"

Double Episode Special

Thursday 25th February - Friday 26th February 2021

Hello everyone! I apologise for this post being so late, I've been away from my computer since Friday and I've not had a chance to watch EastEnders at all. I realise I'm a few episodes behind, but in this blog post, I've decided to review both Thursday's and Friday's episodes together, that way through-out the week I can catch up and be up to date with you all. I do however have to say that this week, I will possibly be missing out Thursday and Friday again as I have some personal time away from my computer. I want thank you all though for being incredibly patient with me and allowing me to write up my blog as and when I can. You're all amazing people and I can't thank you enough for the on-going support.

There is SO much to cover, so let's discuss a few things, the first thing I'm going to focus on is Ben, Phil and this new business deal that's supposed to be going on. I have to be honest though, this storyline I'm finding a little bit confusing. Maybe because I've been away for a few days, but what was the whole business agreement/plan that Ben, Phil and this new character were involved in in the first place? All we know for sure really is that this new character, who I still can't recall the name of, "Stas" or "Stan", has been a loyal customer/client of the Mitchells for years and now he's taking his business elsewhere, to Kheerat. Of course this is going to upset and annoy the Mitchells, but after a lot of confrontation between Ben and Kheerat about nicking potential business plans/propositions, it looks as if it all comes down to money at the end of the day. Who is this new character? We really don't know much about him at all, and to be honest, I'm getting sick of seeing his face ... he doesn't speak clearly and I can't quite understand what's going on when he's onscreen! Thursday's episode shows Kheerat celebrating his new business prospects, and of course Ben kicks off as he feels that Kheerat is flaunting his celebrations right in front of them, nicking their clientele.

However, the following day, it looks that maybe Kheerat has got himself in a bit too deep as "Stas"/"Stan" demands more money that was originally agreed. Vinny notices that his brother appears to be doing some kind of business and might have been in the foresight of the Mitchells. He warns his brother to be careful and whether they should include their Mother, Suki, for help. But Kheerat is adamant that he was to do the business his way and will only inform Suki when he's ready. Has Kheerat taken on a bit too much? Meanwhile Ben seems to be seething that Kheerat is laughing at his family, mainly himself and Phil. But Phil informs his son that they should do absolutely nothing. Instead of getting worked up about lost business and money, he suggests that they should just lay back and watch from the side-lines and watch things go to pot! As that way, if things do turn out wrong, it won't be their problem, it'll be Kheerat's. As much as that appeals to Ben, watching things crash and burn would be some form of entertainment for him, he seems to ignore his Dad and approaches Kheerat whilst he's sat in Ruby's club. Interestingly, he seems to warn to Kheerat about the clientele he's working with, informing him to be on his guard and proposes that if ever he needs help in anything, he's willing to step up. Ben is clearly trying to worm his way in to be involved, just once I wish he'd listen to his Dad's advice and leave things be.

--

Whilst on the subject of the Mitchell's, who else has Phil been involved with lately? Kat! And after overhearing him bad-mouth her and humiliate her to Ben after their romp, she took it things into her own hands. Initially, she is the one who kind of caused the Mitchell's to lose their business proposition as she went blabbing, which turns out why Stas/Stan took his business to Kheerat instead. During this whole section of Ben trying to figure out who blabbed, Kat has been lying low, but her family are starting to notice that someone or something has seemed to upset her. Stacey mentions that if it happens to be a bloke who has let her down, then he's not worth it. Eventually Kat takes it upon herself to give Phil a visit, informing him that she's not someone to be messed around with, also dropping the bombshell that she was the one to blabbed, I think it's this point that Phil realises he has met his match in Kat, after their little fling, Kat announces that things are over between them. Only later on, it looks as if Phil realises that Kat is right and he shouldn't have bad-mouthed her the way he did, he decides to pop over to her and, in not so many words, apologise. Maybe things between Kat and Phil could get serious? Who knows, I think they'd made a very big power couple!

--

The next thing I have focus on is Isaac. So it's now been revealed that the illness that Isaac is suffering from is Schizophrenia. Now I've had to do a little bit of research for this as I'm not 100% sure what that entails. I think this is the first time that EastEnders have brought up the subject of Schizophrenia. For those of you unsure, Schizophrenia is a mental illness which affects how people think and how they understand the world around them. The symptoms brought on could be things such as hallucinations or delusions to an extent that they can't tell what's fantasy and reality.

But now we know what Isaac is having to deal with in his personal life, it all makes complete sense as to why Sheree has been acting so protective of her son. Of course, at this moment in time, only Isaac and herself are aware about his diagnosis. I'm intrigued to see how the rest of the family are going to react once they find out the truth, Patrick, Denise and Kim. One thing I hope, is that Isaac isn't seen as a freak or anything, I don't mean that in a harsh way, but people might begin to think they he hears voices or something? I don't know, we'll have to wait and see. But poor Lola has also been left in the dark, for now. Sheree has warned her to stay away from her son, of course she means well where he son is concerned, but she didn't really go the right way about it. Isaac is left furious at his Mum when he learns that she was the one who warned Lola to stay away, but Isaac truly feels that he's ready to move on and have a relationship.

After learning from Patrick that Sheree warned Lola to stay away, Isaac storms to the salon to confront his Mother. In this moment, I kind of feel sorry for Sheree - well both of them really. I'm not too sure how long Isaac has had this illness, but he claims to have things under control where his medication is concerned. The fact that he hasn't had a normal life for a long time seems to be interesting, he admits to his Mum that he genuinely has feelings for Lola and is ready for some happiness in his life. But Sheree is deeply concerned, concerned that she doesn't want her son getting hurt if people find out the truth. This is where Isaac really passionately aches to be heard, he's not scared of his diagnosis and is ready to reveal it to the people close to him. He demands his Mum to say the name of his illness, but she simply refuses, which is when the big reveal is announced and we learn of his Schizophrenia. Later on, Lola is sat alone in the Cafe and Isaac is quick to join her, she claims that she's not willing to put her job on the line if her job is at risk if they were to start dating. But Isaac reassures her that he will put his Mother straight, regardless of her worries, and he convinces Lola to go out on another date.

I know this has have already, but I'm really looking forward to seeing Monday's episode tomorrow so I can comment on Lola's reaction to Isaac's medical news. Let's just hope things won't get worse for Isaac and he and Lola might be able to have a relationship that works, regardless of his mental illness.

--

Okay so we know that Ruby has been the main focus of these two episodes, but before we delve into her storyline, I want to mention Dotty. Early on in the week we saw her approach Ruby with a business proposition of having a hostess at the club, as a way of gaining more customers and making more money for the club. At first, Ruby seems really against the idea as it'll look as if they're prostituting young women. However, as the episodes have gone on, Dotty seems to have convinced Tiffany to be the hostess of the club, as she would be earning more money for herself and Keegan, in an exchange Dotty has allowed them to move into Sonia's house and live with her, Whitney and Kush. I guess it's fair to say that both Tiffany and Keegan have been struggling for money in recent months, with Keegan working at the club as bar-staff as well as doing his own sandwich business. But to get Ruby on board with this hostess idea, Dotty is eager to find out more information on Ruby. She approaches Tiffany and asks her to tell her everything she knows about the club owner, when she learns about Ruby's Dad and her past and how she became so wealthy, Dotty seems to approach Ruby - I'll mention Ruby's mental state and emotional state shortly, but Dotty catches her at the worst possible time. I thought that Dotty kind of manipulated Ruby into allowing to go forward with the hostess job, complimenting how far she has come in her life and how successful she's been, mentioning that they both have Dad's with bad reputations and she simply wants to make something of her life and make her Dad proud. All this seems to fall on deaf ears, Ruby understandably has other things on her mind, but when Dotty claims she wants 50% of the profits, Ruby claims that she'll have to settle for just 10% otherwise there will be no deal, to which Dotty happily agrees.

I wasn't going to mention much about it, but I do fear for Tiffany. Maybe taking this job at the club may not be a good idea? And how on Earth with Keegan react when he finds out? Tiffany has said she's going to keep it a secret from her husband for a while, until she's ready to tell him. But I guess she's only doing it so they can afford a house for themselves? What do you think? Could Tiffany be putting herself in danger?

--

Okay so the main event I need to mention is Ruby. Oh Ruby ... poor Ruby! I do really feel for her, but I feel like she's so struck by grief and loss that her whole world is crumbling around her. She tries to do something nice but things get thrown back into her face. So, before I mention the devastating loss that Ruby has gone through, we need to start with how this all happened and kicked off. Martin proposes to his wife that she deserves and break and plans a holiday to Greece during the Easter holidays, but Ruby voices her concerns about leaving the children behind during Easter, to which she suggests maybe taking the children with them. Of course that is a really nice gesture, I still can't tell whether she's trying to do one over Stacey or not, but it could simply be a nice gesture for the children, considering that during this moment, Ruby is pregnant and her child would be a sibling to Stacey's children. Unfortunately though, Stacey isn't too keen on her taking the children on holiday. It's revealed that they would take the children away for two weeks, which in Stacey's mind, gives Ruby enough time to turn her children against her. But really, why would Ruby do that if she was pregnant with her own child? Know what I mean?

To try and come up with some sort of an agreement, Stacey, Martin and Ruby decide to meet for a discussion about the holiday plans. However Stacey is furious when Ruby turns up with nail polish for Lilly, when just a few moments before Stacey refused to buy it for her daughter. Stacey once again feels like Ruby is wading in on her children, but honestly, I really don't think that's the case. All Ruby has ever truly wanted is to have a family of her own. To get away from the confrontation she goes to visit the restroom whilst Martin tries to calm Stacey down. Only when Ruby returns, she is visibly very quiet, only she doesn't approach the table to join Martin and Stacey. She grabs her phone and calls up the clinic, informing them that she's 7 weeks pregnant and worryingly, she's bleeding. Without anyone's knowledge, she goes on her own to the clinic where unfortunately the nurse can't seem to pick up a heartbeat on the baby monitor. Devastatingly, she has last her baby, the child she has always wanted.

The following day, she seems to be completely in a world of her own and the previous days events seem to play over and over again in her mind. Martin is trying to do his best to cheer up his wife, even making the kind gesture of putting the baby scan picture in a cute small baby picture frame. However, I still have to mention that that baby scan picture, really isn't hers. Perhaps she never got to have a picture scan? I'm assuming because she was only 7 weeks, she doesn't get a picture? Do you only get a picture when you're 12 weeks? I'm unsure. But regardless, she sadly has no baby scan picture of her own baby. Ruby tries to go on about her day, heading off to work, but whilst she's there Stacey pays her a visit, informing her that if she wants to take her children to Greece for a holiday, then she can pay for it because Stacey simply cannot afford it.

I found this scene between Ruby and Stacey really really gripping actually. Even though they seem to be at each other's throats right now, it was nice to see them actually having a conversation about their teenage years. Recalling on how their memories as best friends and their wishes of having children around the same time as each other, both being Mum's walking their prams around the Square, each of their children calling them "Auntie". I really enjoyed watching this moment, they truly were very best friends for a long time. It's a crying shame how things have changed between them. Okay, Ruby being with Stacey's ex-husband isn't a good start, but I don't know about you guys, but do you miss the friendship that they once had? Would you like it if they were to move on and forgive each other for their wrong doings and become friends again? Honestly, I think they both could do with a good friend right now.

Sadly, their discussion and happy memories doesn't last for long. Ruby claims that she can't see what Martin saw in Stacey, but to clash once again, Stacey gives her the same insult. Does Stacey still have feelings for Martin? Before she found out about them being married, Stacey did confess to Martin that she still loved him, but does her feelings still remain the same? Stacey claims that because she was married to him for quite a long time, plus she's the Mother of his children, she and Martin will always have a history and he will always hold a spark for her. As she goes to leave Ruby alone in the club, Ruby follows her asking her to elaborate on what she means. She stands her ground and informs her ex-best friend that she and her husband are solid and nothing and no one is ever going to come in between them.

As Stacey goes to leave, Ruby follows her up the stairs, but in the commotion of their argument, as Stacey turns to tell Ruby to leave her alone, Ruby's ankle gives way as she steps on one of the stairs and she goes falling backwards along the stairs. Of course Stacey is absolutely terrified for Ruby, knowing that she's pregnant and had a dangerous fall. She stays by her side and places a cushion under her head, calling up Martin to inform him of his wife's accident. Poor Ruby pleads Stacey not to leave her and they both clasp hands. Later on, when Ruby is alone in the hospital, Martin arrives after hearing the news from Stacey. As Ruby looks up at her husband, she absolutely crumbles and bursts into floods of tears. Apologising to her husband and claiming that she really tried, Martin tries his absolute best to console his devastated wife over the loss of their baby. Only, when me mentions that Stacey called him, Ruby is more than furious, I don't know whether it's the grief that's really struck her, or whether she's feeling angry for losing the child she's always wanted, who knows what she could be feeling? Maybe everything just builds inside of her, she makes the horrendous claim that Stacey is to blame for her losing her child as she sobs into Martin's arms.

I do feel that things are going to going to turn dark and more upsetting for all involved in this story. Of course Martin is going to believe his wife, which means that Stacey is going to have a huge battle to fight. If there wasn't a battle before, there most definitely will be a war. Ruby did sadly lose her baby, but Stacey was not to blame. To be honest, she had lost the baby even before she fell, she had miscarried the previous day when she bled and they nurse couldn't detect a heartbeat. But now she's taken a bad fall and Stacey was there, I suppose it gives her the opportunity to put Stacey in the frame and blame her, anything to get back at her, or to even keep her husband on side. Who knows? I do feel for Ruby, I really do, but blaming Stacey for something which wasn't her fault is really not the right thing to do.

As I said, I don't know whether because she's grieving, she's angry, jealous? She could be feeling all these emotions right. But one thing is for sure Stacey is going to have a huge battle on her hands now to prove her innocence. I'm really looking forward to reviewing Monday's episode. I might do the same thing tomorrow and blog about Monday's and Tuesday's episode together, just to make sure I catch up! Thank you all for reading, I apologise for this being so late, but all your support really means the world. I'll be back again tomorrow! Love you all xXx  

[goddessofthundathighs]

IX. PHILOPHOBIA

Suggested Listening/Songs Mentioned: Tadow x Masego; Body Party x Ciara

Word Count: 7.1K (Grab a snack, kids)

**************

Philophobia: (n). the fear of love or of becoming emotionally connected with another person

In the days following their confessions session, O’Shea and Erik finally committed to having a regular schedule that was conducive to both her therapy and their personal needs.

Mondays were used to discuss the previous week’s activities, whether or not they were successful, and to plan out new activities for the upcoming week. Those activities would then be implemented on Tuesday while Wednesday was a quiet day.

During the quiet day, Erik would see other patients, if any, or meet with Skylar to discuss upcoming research projects. Thursdays were used for mid-week check-ins. O’Shea would contact Erik if she wasn’t feeling like herself or if she felt like the particular week’s activity was a failure. They alternated Friday and Saturdays for personal time outside of the office. During this time, they would go on movie or dinner dates or just chill at each other’s houses, cuddling or playing video games.

Their relationship was flourishing at a healthy rate and while excited for her best friend, Skylar couldn’t help feeling a pang of jealousy.

Erik watched her intensely as she paced the floor of his office, convinced that she was about to create a completely new design.

“Are you gonna talk to me or are you gonna put a hole in my floor?”

She stopped and faced him, her eyes riddled with conflict.

“I don’t know how to explain it without sounding like a bitter bitch,” she said, finally taking a seat in the chair across from him. It was Friday so she was dressed down in a black tank that read “Thug Life” in white Old English writing, camouflage cargo pants, and black gladiator sandals. Her curly mane haloed her face and big, gold bamboo earrings with her name in the middle adorned her ears.

“Girl stop all that and tell me what’s wrong so I can help fix it,” Erik fussed, coming around to sit on the corner of his desk in front of her.

“Well, I know I was the main one that wanted you two together, but now that it’s happening, I guess I’m a bit jealous. Not because you both are finally happy and in a healthy space to pursue a relationship, but because I want the same thing and right now. It’s hard.”

“Elaborate,” Erik said, removing his glasses so that their eyes met.

Sky sighed heavily before continuing, “Lately, I’ve found myself missing Monica. I mean, yeah, our relationship was toxic 80% of the time, but things were good when we were on good terms. She showered me with love and adoration and she was someone that I could call mine, even if it was only for a limited time. Occasional hookups are cool, but I miss being in love and the thought of pursuing something of that nature with Oya has me TERRIFIED,” she stomped, pushing his pen from the desk so that it rolled onto the floor.

“For the last time, would you calm down?” Erik’s voice was stern yet soft as he stared into her big doe eyes.

“I can’t help it, E,” she confessed looking up at him. “It’s quite obvious that Oya is interested, but I don’t know if I’m ready to go back down that road again. Not to mention, she wants a full-on domme/sub relationship. Monica and I only did a few scenes during our time together. I’m nobody’s domme.”

“You are,” he said frankly. “Your dick is bigger than mine most of the time, you just don’t seem to realize it. What are you afraid of?”

“Losing my license.”

“Is that all?”

“Yes.”

“Liar.”

Skylar furrowed her brows, shooting him a glare that made him square his shoulders and glare right back.

“I’m not lying.”

“Yes you are; your bottom lip is trembling. Just say you’re afraid of giving your all to someone only to get your heart broken again.”

Sky hung her head in defeat. Erik was right and she knew it, but the truth wasn’t what she wanted to hear at the moment.

“This is just so unprofessional. I pride myself on not getting attached to my clients and here I am considering a relationship with this girl.” She sighed again, rubbing her temples as she felt the beginning symptoms of a migraine building.

Erik carefully took her chin between his thumb and index finger, lifting her head so that her eyes met his.

“I understand your apprehension, but you’ve gotta understand that everybody ain’t Monica.”

“I know, but that’s something I’m not ready to deal with yet. When she comes by the office, I’ll propose some things she can implement with her current partners before offering myself up.”

“Good luck with that, but if she’s as straightforward as you say she is, she’s only gonna tell you that nothing worked with her other partners just so she can have you. That’s how brats operate Dr. Greene. I should know; I’m an expert,” he replied with a sly smirk that made Sky chuckle before she could catch herself.

“You’re so fucking arrogant,” she frowned pushing his face away from hers.

“I’m not arrogant, I’m confident there’s a difference. Plus, it made you laugh so my job as Best Friend of the Year is done.”

“I swear you get on my nerves but thank you. This talk was much needed and it’s helped put some things into perspective. I’m gonna go work on a therapy plan for Ms. Ramirez.”

“Aight, let me know if you need anything.”

“Will do,” Sky replied with a warm hug before walking out of his office and out to her car. As if on cue, her phone rang and Oya’s picture came into view. It was a candid taken when Oya wasn't paying her any mind.

“Good afternoon, Ms. Ramirez.”

“Good afternoon, Dr. Greene,” Oya’s voice called back in a soft and seductive tone. “I was wondering if I could drop by your office, I have some things I’d like to discuss with you.”

Skylar swallowed thickly before replying, “Yes, I have an open slot for 1:00. Does that work for you?”

“Oh yes, that’s perfect. I’ll see you then.”

**

“Welcome to Kinky Sky Sex Therapy and Toy Emporium,” O’Shea called to the stranger when the bell of the shop dinged.

Oya paused, thinking to herself how much of a mouthful that was before her mind thought of how much she’d like a mouthful of --

“Hello again. O’Shea, right?” Oya replied to the slender beauty behind the counter.

“Yes, and you’re Oya, right?” Oya nodded with a smile. “Nice to meet you again."

"I had a 1:00 appointment with Dr. Greene, is she here?”

“She is. If you walk back to that last shelf of toys, you’ll notice a staircase. Take those down to the basement and you’ll see her.”

“The basement?” Oya replied, more than a little apprehensive.

“I know it sounds creepy, but it’s not as bad as you think. I promise,” Shea said reassuringly.

Oya nodded before walking through the long shelves of toys and lubricants until she reached the top of the white slate staircase. What she thought would be a dark, terrifyingly creepy sight was the opposite.

The walls were painted white with black and pink accents and the floors were grey slatewood. The northern wall held the security setup while the wall behind the desk held a bookshelf and all of Skylar’s degrees. Skylar’s desk sat in the middle of the space. It was a glass top with gold legs and sat atop a white fur rug with matching fur chair with gold legs in front. Skylar was seated behind the desk typing at her iMac, her brows furrowed in concentration.

“Dr. Greene?”

Skylar jumped, causing a pen to roll off her desk as her eyes met Oya’s.

“Oh, hi Oya. I’m sorry I didn’t see you there.”

“It’s fine, I just made it down here. Que bueno!”

Oya looked around at the office briefly on her way to take a seat in front of Sky’s desk, shamelessly staring at the S necklace that rested in her cleavage.

“So what did you want to talk about?” Sky asked, closing the document she’d been working on.

“Well, I tried one of the methods you suggested when I went out with my sister the other night. The vabbing technique.”

“Oh?” Skylar asked, grabbing a pen from the cup on her desk. “And how did it go?”

“Pretty well actually. I met a girl and we hooked up and it was cool I guess, but...”

“But?”

“I may have accidentally moaned your name during sex.”

“Wait… You did what now?”

Oya merely smirked, unable to hide the way Skylar’s reaction was making her feel.

“I’m sorry, but I just can’t stop thinking about you. Everything that she was doing to me made me wish it were you, so much so that I called her by your name. Like we were making out and things were getting heated and next thing I know instead of saying Celeste, I said Skylar.”

Skylar blinked for a few seconds before finally finding words to articulate her feelings.

“Oya, I’m your therapist. That’s extremely inappropriate.”

“Is it really? They're both sky-related names... Well, what about Surrogate Partner Therapy? Didn’t you receive funding to start experimenting with it?”

“Yes but--”

“So why don’t you let me be your first case.”

Skylar sighed in exasperation. If Oya was Erik, she would’ve cussed him out seeing as how he knew how much of a pet peeve it was for her to be interrupted. She instead chose to remain silent, intrigued to hear Oya’s point of view.

“Oya, it doesn’t work that way. SPT requires the use of someone else as the surrogate partner, not the therapist assigned to the client.”

“But what about Dr. Stevens? I could go back to being his client and he could start the process. It could be a joint project between the two of you.”

“You’ve really thought this out, huh?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll speak with Dr. Stevens and we’ll get back to you.”

Oya leaned over the desk, tucking a stray curl behind Skylar’s ear.

“Don’t keep me waiting too long, Dr. Greene.”

**

“Damn, lil mama was prepared, huh?”

Erik asked as he finished the last bite of his volcano sushi rolls with extra eel sauce that he was currently addicted to thanks to his favorite brat. His feet were propped up on his desk and he was reclined back in his office chair staring down into the iPad screen as Sky stared back.

“Bruh, I was shook. I’m sure she saw it on my face too. Like, I’m not used to anyone being this straightforward with me other than you. It’s different,” she said, speaking a mile per minute.

“So… the real question is what do you wanna do, doctor?”

“I’ve been asking myself that for a week and I’m still drawing a blank.”

It was true. Skylar had gone over every possible scenario of a relationship with Oya and each time she was met with a standstill. Half of her wanted to pursue a relationship to see how things would work, while the other half was still stuck on the board finding out and losing her license. Erik hated the pained look in her eyes. He could feel her heart as if it were in his own chest.

“You mean you’re too pussy to live life? Come on, Sky. Yes, losing your license is serious, but what are the odds of that really happening? We’re both extremely careful and go through the details of our reports with fine-toothed combs. On paper, everything looks legit and aside from our personal relationship, O’Shea is doing well, is she not?”

“She is.”

“Alright then, live a little. Let babygirl bring some spice into your boring ass, lonely ass life. Invite her to lunch and eat her pussy under the table.”

“Wow, fuck you,” Sky replied, watching as he started on a truffle salmon roll. “I haven’t done that since O’Shea. Besides, I’m a Louisiana native. I’m spicy enough.”

“I can’t tell with ya boring ass,” he teased, popping the rest of the roll into his mouth.

“Those look good, bring me some.”

“Nigga! It’s lunchtime in LA and your office is 15 minutes away. It’s gonna take me an hour to get to you.”

“O’Shea’s wearing those green leather pants you like,” Sky sang sweetly, smirking at the way he readjusted his slacks as he sat up.”

“I’m on my way,” was all he said before the FaceTime ended. Skylar chuckled softly before pulling up Oya’s contact information.

Though he was incredibly annoying, she knew Erik was right. She had been overthinking the entire situation and needed to let things flow. If for some reason things went sour and she lost her license, she still had a successful adult toy business and more than enough money saved up to live comfortably for the rest of her life if she chose to.

Taking a deep breath she pressed the call button and allowed the rest of her inhibitions to fly out of the window.

“Hello?” Oya’s sultry voice rang from the opposite end of the receiver.

“Oya, it’s Dr. Greene. I was wondering if we could meet for lunch, there are some things I wanted to discuss in regards to your request for Surrogate Partner Therapy.” Skylar smiled softly as Oya’s audible gasp tickled her ears.

“That would be great, but my schedule is pretty full today with dance classes. How about tomorrow for dinner?”

Dinner? Skylar hadn’t been on an actual dinner date in over a year, too far consumed with work to entertain anyone longer than a few quick hookups. The thought of getting all dolled up and having a night on the town with a beautiful woman on her arm made her smile incredibly wide.

“I could do dinner. Is there anywhere in particular you’d like to go?” She asked, rubbing her chin as Erik’s explicit suggestion crossed her mind. The smile in Oya’s tone was infectious.

“Have you ever had Barton G.?”

**

“Do a spin and let us see you,” Erik’s voice called from Skylar’s iPad that sat next to her vanity mirror.

For the last hour, she’d been modeling outfits for him and O’Shea, searching for the perfect show-stopping ensemble for dinner with Oya. When she finally completed the 360 turn, they both seemed to be enamored with the lavender two-piece skirt set she’d picked. She’d straightened her usually curly locs and chose to wear a matching duster and clear chunky heels to complete the look. Though she’d decided against a full face of makeup, she still filled in her brows, applied some mascara to her lashes and her favorite nude lipstick to her full lips.

“That’s the one,” O’Shea said with finality.

“I second that notion,” Erik nodded, causing Skylar to break into a wide grin. She was excited to see how the night would play out and even more excited to see where her relationship with Oya would stand after dinner.

“Alright, I’ll call you two with an update when I make it home tonight.”

“Don’t go home, get some pussy,” Erik called, pulling the perfectly pearled blunt from behind his ear.

“Bye Nigga!”

Across town, Oya stood in her floor-length mirror admiring the denim colored two-piece skirt set she wore. Her hair was slicked into a low bun around her neck rested a silver statement necklace. The top stopped just below her breasts and the draped skirt stopped just above her left knee creating a high-low illusion. Her freshly shaved legs peeked from the split in the center and silver strappy heels rested on her feet. Her makeup was neutral, simple lashes and a nude lip completing the overall look. She knew she looked good and was determined to have Skylar eating out the palm of her hands… and maybe her vagina by the end of dinner.

After one final once over, Oya was out the door and on her way to meet the future love of her life. The drive to Barton G was short and soon the two women were face to face, both in awe of the other’s outfit choice.

“You look stunning,” Oya called as she admired the way the lavender skirt clung to Sky’s hips and thighs.

“As do you,” Sky replied with a sweet smile. “I went ahead and put our names on the waitlist so it shouldn’t be much longer before our table is ready.”

“Perfect,” Oya replied, taking the empty seat beside her. As she took in Sky’s appearance again, the bag in her lap attracted her attention. It was lilac with an iridescent crocodile pattern and gold hardware.

“Is that a Hermès Birkin bag?”

“Yes ma’am. It was my first big purchase after I opened my shop and I adore it.”

“Of course you’re a label whore,” Oya replied with a playful smirk.

Sky rolled her eyes, returning Oya’s smile.

“Whatever. Excuse me for enjoying the finer things in life. I worked my ass off to get my shop and when the time came, I chose to treat myself to something nice.”

“Pretty expensive treat,” Oya mumbled.

“It’s true. I am indeed,” Sky retorted with a wide grin.

“Greene, party of 2,” the hostess called pulling Skylar and Oya from their heated conversation about designer fashion.

“I’m sorry, there’s just no way I’d spent $20-$40K on a bag,” Oya fussed, following the hostess to their designated table.

“But they’re beautiful bags, plus they increase in value 15% every year. It’s an investment if anything,” Sky reasoned.

“Be that as it may, I’m not dropping that kind of cash on a bag and I’ll be damned if my partner does.”

“To each her own, I guess,” Skylar shrugged. “But if I buy it, you’re gonna accept it.”

“Says who?” Oya countered with a raised eyebrow.

Skylar took the bait smoothly as she pulled Oya’s chair out, motioning for her to sit down.

“Ya Mama,” she replied with a wink causing Oya to flash her a devilish grin.

“I see you’re not playing fair tonight, Dr. Greene.”

“How is answering a question proposed to me not playing fair?”

“You know how. Don’t throw around such titles if you aren’t prepared to fulfill them,” Oya challenged.

“You’re absolutely right which brings me to why I wanted to meet with you. After speaking with Dr. Stevens, we both think that you’d be a good candidate for our SPT research. On paper, he will be your assigned therapist and I will be your surrogate partner.”

Sky glanced up to catch Oya watching her intensely as she explained.

“I will also be implementing Dr. Stevens’ 7-Day schedule which will be used to aid in both your therapy as well as personal needs. Out of the seven days, two of them will be quiet days in which we have zero communication with one another and you do not have to engage in whatever treatment method we have assigned for that week.”

Another glance up, and Oya’s stare was still just as intense as before.

“If this method looks to be successful, then I’ll start implementing more extracurricular activities in our time together, Is this something that you think you would be interested in?”

Oya’s grin grew wide at the thought of the introduction of BDSM elements. She was also pleased with the fact that Skylar had put so much thought into her treatment.

“I’m in, but on one condition.”

“Which is?”

“You spend the next two days with me, bonding, completely off the record. I want to see you in your natural state, and in these two days if you decide that a personal relationship isn’t what you want, then we’ll remain completely professional and well leave the extracurricular activities off the table.”

Skylar flinched, clearly taken aback by Oya’s change in tone.

“A-Are you sure?”

“Absolutely. I want you to be completely comfortable with whatever this turns into and I don’t want you to feel forced simply because of how strong I came on to you. At the end of the day, you’re a doctor and you have a reputation to uphold and I don’t want you to lose what you built because of me.”

“T-That’s really sweet, Oya. No one has taken my feelings into consideration like that before other than Erik.”

“Listen, I know that Monica chick did a number on you emotionally, but all I’m asking for is just one chance to prove that I’m in a different class.”

“Fine, you can have your two days, but after that it’s back to business,” Sky said, attempting to regain her usual tough demeanor.

Oya caught on and smiled a sly smile.

“Yes Mama,” she said as the waitress came to take their orders.

The pair spent the remainder of dinner talking like old friends. Skylar learned that Oya was the youngest of four children and that all of her siblings were dancers and choreographers. Sky spoke of her fathers and how she and Erik came to become as successful as they were.

“So you don’t know your mom at all?” Oya asked, taking a sip of her Sabrina-tini.

“She died while giving birth to me. Papa Simon raised me by himself until I was two. That’s when Papa Ruben came along and the rest was history.”

“Did your parents influence your sexual preference?”

“Actually, no. I’ve had relationships with men in the past, but Erik was the one that made me realize that I wasn’t interested in a long-term relationship with a man. Then I met Monica and the rollercoaster began.”

“She was your first girlfriend?”

“Yes.”

“Why’d you guys break up if you don’t mind my asking?”

“Long story short, she was a seasonal gay and I got tired of being her escape.”

Oya nodded, having dealt with her share of toxic exes in the past.

“Well,” Oya said, raising her glass. “Here’s to new beginnings and lots of healing. May our days going forward be filled with joy and smiles and only tears of pure, unadulterated happiness.”

“Cheers,” Skylar said with a bright smile, unable to hide her excitement for what was to come.

**

“Pole dancing, huh? Kinky,” O’Shea said teasingly as she and Sky explored the extensive shoe closet on the second floor of Skylar’s condo. Oya had proposed the idea during their dinner the previous night, opting to do it on Sunday since her studio would be closed to her students.

“It’ll be fun, just you and I vibing to some dope music. I just may teach you a thing or two.”

Oya’s teasing tone was loud in Skylar’s ear as she combed through another wall of shoes. Oya had instructed her to bring a pair of heels because she would be getting on a pole, a statement that had Sky turning her nose up slightly.

“If my thick ass fall, I’m fighting her,” Sky fussed, holding up a pair of black, strappy Louboutins.

“And I’m gonna fight you if you think you wearing Louboutins to a pole dancing class. This is real life, not the movies. Besides, you need something with a platform to help maintain your balance,” O’Shea said, grabbing a pair of clear 6-inch heels with a pink sole and iridescent glitter platform bottoms. “These are perfect! Try them on!”

Sky grabbed the shoes from her and put them on, towering over Shea as she strutted back and forth in the closet.

“Great, now I just have to figure out what I’m wearing,” Sky replied staring at herself in the mirror. She was currently wearing a baby pink cross-back bralette and matching leggings.

“That looks good. Pole dancing is exercise, after all, so you want to be comfortable.”

Sky thought for a bit before nodding in agreeance.

“Alright, well let me get going. We agreed to meet at 4.”

“Alright, be safe and have fun!” O’Shea called, following Sky outside.

After sending a quick confirmation text, Skylar punched the address of the studio into her GPS and made her way downtown.

The studio was dimly lit with pink and purple lights. The front wall of the studio held five floor-length mirrors while the back wall was painted burnt orange. In all, ten poles stretched across the entire floor in two lines and two speakers occupied the upper corners above the mirrors.

“Right on time,” Oya’s voice called from somewhere above Sky’s head.

She craned her neck to see Oya swinging from an aerial hoop. She moved so gracefully and elegantly, each movement flowing in incredible precision. It looked so easy, but Sky knew better than to think such. She smiled as Oya carefully lowered herself to the floor and padded over to her, greeting her with a gentle hug.

“I’m so glad you agreed to this class. We’re gonna have so much fun,” Oya said with a bright smile. She led Sky to a spot in the back where she could put her bag down and change shoes before pulling her to the center of the room between the two rows of poles.

“First, we’re going to do some stretches. We need your body as loose and limber as possible that way you don’t hurt yourself while on the pole.” Sky made a face before joining Oya on the floor.

“I told O’Shea we were gonna fight if I fall off one of these poles,” Sky said with a chuckle before spreading her legs in a wide v shape, lowering her upper half to the floor.

“Don’t threaten me with a good time, Dr. Greene,” Oya replied with a smirk before copying Sky’s pose.

Sky bit her lip to contain her smile at the way Oya enunciated her name before speaking.

“This is off the record and we’re out of the office so you can just call me Sky or Skylar.”

“I prefer Sunshine if we’re being honest,” Oya said with a sweet smile that Sky couldn’t help but return.

“Okay, Sunshine it is.”

After they were all stretched out and warmed up, Oya began the lesson.

“The first thing we’re going to learn is a basic spin. The easiest one to do is the fireman spin, kinda like we used to do on the playground. I’ll demonstrate first and then explain it in detail.”

“I know how to do that,” Sky remarked with a sneer as she watched Oya spin around the bottom of the pole.

“Alright, then missy. Let’s see you do it,” Oya urged, clapping teasingly as Sky completed the spin.

“Okay, let’s do something a little more complicated. This next move is called the chair spin. It’s just like the fireman, but as you’re going around, I want you to lift your knees towards your chest and keep your feet elevated as you spin. Like this,” Oya explained before demonstrating. It took a few tries, but Sky finally got the hang of it and was ready to move onto the next spin.

“This third spin is called the back hook. You’re gonna grip the pole with your right hand, wrap your right leg around it and let the universe do its thing. As you’re going around, you’re gonna grip the pole near the bottom with your left hand,” Oya explains.

“Let the universe do its thing? You mean gravity because that shit sounds like I’m going to bust my ass and get a concussion. Now how exactly do you plan to explain that to my fathers? Me being concussed, I mean?” Sky asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Just try it, scaredy-cat. I promise I’m not gonna let you concuss yourself,” Oya giggled.

By the end of the 2-hour lesson, Sky could successfully do the back hook along with the climb, the seat, and carousel spin, which she deemed her personal favorite.

After a few sips of water, Skylar took a seat in one of the chairs along the wall and watched Oya dance. Mid-way through the class, she opted to sit her phone down on the floor in front of the mirrors to record a few videos to send to Erik and Shea once they were done. Since Oya was putting on a show, she decided to give her some music to vibe to. Soon, the mellow sounds of Tadow by Masego filled the studio. Oya’s limber body swayed effortlessly to the beat.

Oh oh I saw her and she hit me like (tadow) // Saw that thing so beautiful (tadow)

She just hit my heart, oh (tadow) // Full force and she got me like (tadow)

Sky closed her eyes, allowing the music to transport her to her happy place. Everything grew still and tranquil and she just existed freely with Oya, no distractions and no apprehension. Deep down she knew she wanted this woman, but couldn’t seem to shake that nagging, fearful voice in the back of her mind. She shook her head, not wanting to go down that road at the moment. She was content and happy right where she was and wanted to stay that way.

When she opened her eyes again, Oya was straddling her lap, rolling her hips sensually to Body Party by Ciara. Just as she was finding her groove, California Love by Tupac began blaring through the speakers, signaling an incoming call from Erik. Not wanting to disturb the beauty in her lab, she answered the call from her Apple Watch.

“Yes?” was all she said as she wrapped her arms around Oya’s waist.

“I knew it! Best friend getting booty! You owe me $50!” he yelled to O’Shea who was sitting next to him.

“Wait, you niggas bet on me?!” she exclaimed, moving Oya slightly to the right to stare down into the camera.

“It was a spur of the moment thing, but yes. I figured you’d take my advice, but I wasn’t expecting you to be getting booty in the studio.”

“Ain’t nobody getting booty,” Skylar fussed. “She’s only dancing.”

“I mean if you want some booty, that can be arranged,” Oya said with a smirk.

“Hush, ain’t nobody talking to you. Just keep doing what you’re doing.”

“Yes Mama,” Oya teased, continuing her ministrations.

“Mama?!” Erik and O’Shea yelled in unison, sounding like Soulja Boy on his Breakfast Club interview. Oya giggled, looking back at Sky who was shaking her head at her best friend and employee’s antics.

“Move nigga! I wanna see too!” O’Shea fussed, snatching Erik’s phone from his hand. “Ooh, her ass fat,” Shea exclaimed, putting her whole face in the camera like a kid asking if you had games on your phone.

“You know what, bye!” Sky said, ending the call before returning her focus to Oya.

“How do you deal with them?”

“I ignore them most of the time if we’re being honest,” Sky said with a chuckle. “You know, you look really good in my lap,” Sky remarked as Oya slowed her motions.

“Really now? You tryna keep me here, Sunshine?”

“I just might, pretty girl,” Sky said, lifting her head slightly meeting Oya’s lips in a soft kiss. It was soft and slow, with a hint of tongue and a few lip bites. It felt right and when they were done, Sky was lightheaded. She bit her lip softly as Oya stared down at her, returning her heated gaze.

“Wanna go again?”

**

After another 3-4 hours dancing and making out, Skylar and Oya parted ways, making plans to visit Little Tokyo for their date the following day. Sky kept her promise to call Erik once she was finally home safely, making sure to tell him every tiny little detail that transpired after their FaceTime call abruptly ended.

“Finally! Bold Sky is making a comeback!”

“Oh my God, shut up!” Skylar exclaimed, hiding her face in her sherpa blanket to cover the fact that her face was as red as the soles of her Louboutins as if Erik could see her. “Her lips are super soft, though. I swear it felt like I was kissing a cloud.”

“I’m proud of you. So what did you guys decide on for her therapy?”

“Well, I’m gonna implement the 7-Day schedule that you have with O’Shea and if that works out then I’ll gradually introduce BDSM elements.”

Erik nodded, rubbing his chin occasionally.

“I like that and if you need some tips, let me know.”

“Will do, boss man. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to have a nice long soak. We stretched out muscles I forgot I had.”

“Keep on, let her stretch some more shit out,” Erik teased, his wide grin evident in his tone.

“Goodbye, Dr. Nigga!” Sky screeched, hanging up in his face. She couldn’t help the wide grin that stretched across her face as she recalled the way Oya’s lips felt against hers or the way her body felt as they rolled against one another on the floor of the studio.

While she showered, she imagined what Oya’s other set lips tasted like, or how she would sound moaning her name as her tongue lapped up her essence until she came undone over and over again.

Before she knew it her fingers were inside her flower, plunging deeper and deeper until her back rested against her shower wall, a pool of her juices flowing down the drain. She bit her lip as she thought about the introduction of BDSM to their relationship. If the mere thought of Oya had her behaving this way, there’s no telling what would happen when the two were finally intimate, but she was eager to find out.

**

The bell on the door of the flower shop dinged, signaling the departure of the final patron of Nola Greene Florists, the flower shop Skylar’s fathers owned. Hibiscus flowers, Louisiana Irises, and Gardenias were just a few of assorted flowers that lined the different shelves of the shop, all blooming bright and filling the space with a heavenly scent. Ruben was in a corner tending to a row of hibiscuses when he glanced over at Simon who was sitting behind the counter going over inventory.

“Have you heard from your daughter?” Ruben asked as he plucked another dead leaf from the plant.

“We spoke for a bit the other night. She apparently has an ice cream date today,” Simon replied looking up from the clipboard.

“A date?! And she didn’t tell her father?” Ruben gasped, almost trimming the head of a hibiscus as he ranted.

“Well damn, what am I? Chopped liver?”

“I didn’t mean it like that Simey Bear,” Ruben coaxed. “She just usually shares these kinda things with me first. I guess I feel a little jealous.”

“You’re such a diva,” Simon said with a chuckle. “The one time she tells me something before you, you’re up in arms.”

Ruben pouted slightly. Ever since Skylar was a child, they would always talk about the boys she liked and he would be the one to help with her hair and makeup.

“So what exactly does this boy look like?”

“It’s not a boy,” Simon said with a smirk.

“Oh? It’s another fish? It better not be that Monica heifer!” Ruben shouted as he slammed the shears on the counter.

“You know, she didn’t say,” Simon recalled, pulling his phone from his pocket. “Let’s call her.”

**

The streets were relatively clear as Skylar and Oya walked hand in hand through Little Tokyo. They grabbed a few t-shirts from Popkiller, Skylar’s favorite being the Kawaii Kanye shirt Oya picked out before leaving and heading to the Tokyo Japanese Outlet. There, Skylar bought herself a life-size Jigglypuff plush while Oya browsed the pin section. Sky rolled her eyes playfully as Oya stuck the ‘I Love Cat’ pin to the front of her shirt, rubbing her head against her chest purring.

“You’re aggy,” Sky said before playfully pushing her head away.

“Yet you’re still here with me,” Oya countered, walking out of the shop in search of food.

The pair decided on Shen Sin Gumi. Skylar remembered O’Shea talking about how great the food was and how they had the best ramen in LA. They both settled on spicy tonkotsu ramen with kikiruge mushrooms, green onions, and extra chashu. Skylar also ordered a side of takoyaki and chicken gyoza while Oya got a side of veggie tempura.

“Damn,” Skylar exclaimed slurping a noodle. “This is the best ramen in LA.”

Oya nodded in agreeance, taking a bite of the veggie tempura.

“It is. We should start letting O’Shea pick out food spots more often.”

“We should. All the little fat fuck does is eat,” Sky chuckled.

After lunch and more exploring of Little Tokyo, the pair ended their date at Bae, Skylar’s favorite ice cream shop because of their quirky flavor options and the overall ambiance of the parlor.

Oya couldn’t help the smile that stretched across her face when her eyes fell on the neon sign that read ‘With love, from bae’ as soon as they walked in.

“Real cute, Greene.”

“I know,” Skylar smirked back. The pair sampled several different flavors of ice cream, their mutual favorites being Pegasus, Mixed Feelings, Ube, and Heartbreak. Skylar’s cheeks hurt from smiling so much and she was in the middle of telling one of Papa Simon’s favorite jokes when her phone rang.

“Speak of the devil,” she said, answering the FaceTime call. “Hello father,” she said with a playful eye roll.

“Now is that any way to greet your father?” Simon asked, holding the phone close to his face in an attempt to see who Skylar was with.

Sky caught on and moved to the other side of the table.

“You’re right, where are my manners? Hello Papa Simon. How are things with you and Papa Ruben?”

“They’re good, my dearest. How are things with you and your friend?” Skylar decided to play dumb a little longer.

“Erik is fine. We’re both experimenting with SPT with our current clients and so far, things have been going well.”

Ruben, knowing the game his daughter was playing snatched the phone from Simon and commanded the screen.

“Cut the bullshit, Moreau. Let us see her.”

Skylar smiled as she bit her lip and moved back to sit beside Oya once more.

“Oya, these are my fathers, Simon and Ruben Greene. Dads, this is Oya.”

“Oh Skylar, she’s stunning,” Ruben exclaims, causing Oya to blush.

“Thank you, sir. It’s nice to meet you, Skylar talks about you all the time.”

“She better,” Ruben teased. “Okay, finish your date. I just had to make sure it wasn’t that part-time gay heifer.”

Skylar laughed at that.

“No Daddy, Monica is a distant memory. As a matter of fact, I think Oya just may be a permanent addition of she acts right,” Sky smirked, glancing over at Oya.

“Excuse you, madam?” Oya said with mock offense.

“I’m just playing, pretty girl,” Sky coaxed, stroking her cheek with her thumb.

“Mmhm... Tell me anything,” Oya teased, sucking her thumb off camera.

“Oop, she’s spicy. I like her,” Ruben said. “Well, you two enjoy your date. Papa Simon and I will check in on you later.”

“Yes, sir. Bye Dads,” Sky said as she ended the call. She shoved her phone back in her jacket pocket as Oya went to grab another double scoop of Heartbreak.

As she caught herself staring at the light-skinned, curly red-haired cutie before her, one thing was certain: She was fucked. Absolutely, positively, 100% fucked. She now knew how Erik felt the first time he realized how enamored he was with O’Shea and she wanted to curse herself for teasing him the way she did. Not since Monica had anyone made her feel so free and uninhibited and initially, she was very apprehensive about it. But once she saw Oya’s smile spread across her face and create that subtle twinkle in her eye, Skylar made it her business to have it on display more often.

“What?” Oya’s voice pulled Skylar from her thoughts and it was then that she realized she had been staring the entire time.

“H-Huh? What?”

“You were staring again, Moreau,” Oya responds with a sly smirk, extending a hand to brush a few stray curls from her face.

“You getting real comfortable with my middle name, Ms. Ramirez,” Sky remarks, leaning over to steal a lick of her ice cream cone.

“Just like you getting comfortable with my damn ice cream, ya thief!” Oya says with a laugh.

“It looked good, I couldn’t help myself!” Skylar screeched, throwing her arms up in mock surrender.

“Uh-huh, I bet you couldn’t. You gone make me fight you,” Oya fussed.

“Aww, don’t be like that, pretty girl,” Sky teased, causing Oya’s grin to stretch wider.

“You lucky you’re a hot doctor,” Oya smirked, stealing a lick from Skylar’s Pegasus cone.

Sky only smirked and shook her head as she watched Oya eat.

“You’re trouble, Ms. Ramirez.”

“Glad you know, Dr. Greene.”

**

The next morning found Skylar smiling from ear to ear as she entered the shop. O’Shea watched with a smirk as she bounced on her toes all the way down to her office.

“I take it you had a good time?”

“I had a great time. She’s sweet, she’s funny, and she doesn’t take any of my shit which is something I’ll have to get used to, but I enjoy it.”

“You and Erik really are two sides of the same coin. I bet he tells you the same shit about me.”

“That he does.”

“Awww, Sky Bear is in love,” O’Shea teased, poking at Skylar’s sides.

“I’m not in love, yet, but there is a possibility that something more than business will come from this and I’m not opposed.”

O’Shea squealed, kicking her feet like an excited schoolgirl.

“I’m so happy for you. You’ve been through so much and it’ll be nice for you to be loved the way you deserve to be.”

“Aww, thanks, Shea. That’s really sweet of you to say.”

“And I mean it, too. Oh, I almost forgot,” O’Shea squeaked as she bound up the stairs and back down again. “These were delivered for you.”

Sky raised an eyebrow before taking the bouquet of sunflowers from O’Shea. They smelled heavenly and hand a little black card attached.

“Ooh, what does it say?” Shea asked, bouncing excitedly. Sky grabbed the card and smiled from ear to ear as she read the message aloud.

“To my Sunshine,

May your day be as beautiful and as sweet as this bouquet.”

-With love,

From Bae

Links to pole moves used above:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZxMFtZxPko&t=116s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tap-qXHJIpQ&t=132s

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[writingsoftheunderworld]

AU - yes! Time Travel -no?

C. 2 here ; C. 1 here; AO3 here. Enjoy!

Chapter 3

Bonnie Bennett had begun her day with a slow calming chant of Don’t let him get to you, her thought firmly centred around one Damon Salvatore, a true thorn in her side since he’d first arrived in town not too long ago. She’d woken up slowly, light filtering through her blinds and shrouding the whole room in a husky shade of caramel, the lingering scent of citrus from the candles burnt the night before giving the room an all to homely feeling. She could hear her dad bustling downstairs, most likely getting some coffee for the road. It was fairly early still, but she had free-period the first half of the day and she was skipping the rest - life ending crises a good enough reason even if Mrs Jason still claimed that unless you were actually dead you had to show up for math class. She laid in bed a few more minutes, listening to her dad get dressed and slip out the door. She wondered for not the first time whether it would be better off if she tried to tell him all about this witch vampire mess again, but Grams had wanted him out of it, and he had wanted out of it after her mom left, so for the thousandth time she put it out of her mind. 

She showered, changed and climbed down to get the little mug of coffee her dad always left out for her, dropping more sugar into it than a candy store had on its selves. Elena had once joked that if she didn’t end up making it big she would always work as an oompa-loompa for Willy Wonka for how much sugar she dumped into her coffee each day. Bonnie was still not sure if Elena thought that was just a good joke or if she just hadn’t understood the Chocolate Factory as a child. Caroline just liked to pat her on the shoulder with a wistful look on her face, like she wished she had Bonnie’s devil-may-care attitude about it - which ironically seemed to have not been the case even now as a vampire who ate more than a Quarterback. 

The noise of Jeremy knocking on the door startled her out of her thoughts enough to almost spill the coffee on her shirt. Almost being the key word thankfully, so she dropped the mug into the sink and swung her bag over her head and headed for the garage. They were meant to meet Damon on the edge of the former Salvatore Estate, just off of the main road, by the woods, from where he’d then show her where the former Salem witches had been burned some centuries ago and where the Founders had burned Emily as well. Klaus was a threat hanging over their head constantly at this point. 

On their way Jeremy began telling her about Isobel’s impromptu visit earlier this morning and how poor Aunt Jenna had locked herself in her room following it. Bonnie felt sorry for the woman, she definitely didn’t deserve to be lied to like that, but Bonnie also felt that telling her the whole truth would’ve been equally unfair. The least Alaric could’ve done was say that his wife was missing rather than dead, but that was none of her business at the end of the day. They talked some more as they waited, they’d arrived a bit early after all, and Bonnie realised once again just how different Jeremy now was, and how nice it was to see him so invested in her. She wasn’t sure yet if she actually liked him like that, but she definitely could imagine how sweet and thoughtful he’d be as a boyfriend. And she needed someone frankly. Seeing Elena with her two Salvatore’s bending over backwards to rescue her from any and every inconvenience and now Caroline complaining about having been kissed by both Matt and Tyler made her frustrated. Less so for the fighting over her situation, that sounded exhausting, but rather for the constant work she had to put into herself to even be noticed. Maybe she should move for college, she had a feeling Virginia might be part of the problem here as well, though she did find it hilarious how both Matt and Tyler had initially dated her before either moved on to Elena or Caroline. Then it just made her sad. Was it something about her that pushed them away?

She remembered with sudden clarity asking that to her Grams and the hour long lecture following her words, of how she was a strong woman, how boys wouldn’t be able to handle someone like her until later, how she should still enjoy herself and not be tied down to a boyfriend from middle school onward because then you saw what could happen - exhibit a through z Elena’s many rants about Matt. She’d listened but not believed her Grams. She still wasn’t sure if she believed her Grams but she did know she wanted someone for her own now, hell, she needed someone with all the stress and violence her life had suddenly turned to. And Jeremy was safe, and cute, and had puppy dog eyes for her and vived for her attention. Was part of her thinking she was settling? Maybe. Did she care? Not really. And speaking of not caring, where the hell was Damon at? He was already late by 15 minutes. Don’t let him get to you. Her inner voice chimed again.

“Jere, how about we just head to the Boarding House? Clearly someone is looking to be set on fire.” Jeremy laughed and nodded. He clearly thought Bonnie was joking, but oh boy couldn’t he be more wrong. Bonnie was 1000% setting Damon on fire if he didn’t come up with a good enough excuse. 

_._._._._._._

Rose waited and watched. Jeremy Gilbert was off to the side, looking completely eager and completely in over his head as Bonnie and Damon were arguing about the best course of action following her short introduction into what she knew. And if they thought that was all she could tell them, then obviously they were still underestimating her which frankly was a bit condescending seeing as she was at least 2 years older than the Bonnie currently glaring at Damon. But she’d guessed that would be the reaction she was going to get when she made her choice to be as dramatic as possible. Mom used to say she got it from dad, but seeing the two younger versions of them interacting now she could safely say she got it from both. God knows those eye rolls and ridiculous insults were exaggerated as hell. How did these two people become her slow dancing in the kitchen on a random Thursday evening parents?

“Excuse me?” she tried, weakly, but still she gave it a shot. Jeremy looked over to her then at the still arguing duo then back at her with a look that seemed to say this is just an ordinary Monday for them. “EX-cuse ME!” she tried again, this time much louder but nothing. She sighed. Lost cause.

“If you would’ve let me pick you up like I said initially, you wouldn’t be here wanting to blow my head up now Judgy!”

“If you’d know how to use a phone like a normal person, I wouldn’t have waited needlessly for you for hours Damon!”

“Oh please, it was barely 5 minutes.” he scoffed and Jeremy piped up with a it was fifteen technically that Damon just elected to ignore it seemed. Sometime he did remind Rose of her dad. 

“It doesn’t matter! We’re dealing with Klaus! A 5 seconds text shouldn’t be something I need to tell you to do!” Aaannd sometimes she reminded Rose of her mom. Great, now she had anxiety again. And lord knows her mom won’t just raise her voice to yell at her for ending up here like this Bonnie was doing, no no, her mom would have a level voice that somehow would hurt far more. She needed a distraction. She also needed to figure out what was about to happen around this time. Like she remember her dad mentioning that Alaric had gotten possessed at some point and that he and mom had danced at a school 60s event - which she had to ask who actually came up with that stuff, because while Lizzie definitely loved a nice theme party, she still went with like a hava night, or a rock theme or an Austrian ball or something more generic but more fun, not a decades dance. Digressing though, Rose knew these facts, but she didn’t know anything immediate. She needed more information. More inside information.

“Guys, could you take a break and answer a few questions for me first?” she tried one more time. To no avail. So hard times ask for hard measures or something like that and stubborn younger versions of her parents call for her parents usual solve to stubborn daughter fighting with her friends voice so she did her best to channel her mom’s level tone and her dad’s intimidating presence and for someone not actually related to them she though she did a good job seeing as Bonnie and Damon turned in unison to glare at her before being reminded of where they were and what was going on here. She was actually pretty proud of herself for that feat.

“So as I was trying to say, can you give me run-down of what’s been happening here?” 

“Oh, I’m sorry, weren’t you the one who knew everything?” Damon commented snidely and Rose almost high-fived Bonnie when both her and Rose said in unison.

“Oh, you know what sorry means?” Bonnie off to the side.

“Oh, so you agree I was right?” Rose with a grin.

Damon  seemed to take a moment to grit his teeth and bite back his words before shaking his head, giving a smirk and walking right past Rose to pour himself a glass of bourbon and spread out onto the couch in seeming nonchalance. Rose would almost commend his acting here, if he didn’t also irritate her with it. Who knew dad used to be such a child… well, more so than in her universe...time?

“Damon, she didn’t say she knows everything and don’t be a dick. She’s the only one willing to help us here.” Bonnie on the other hand, Rose was beginning to appreciate more and more. Maybe she was more Mom’s pet in the past than Dad’s pet as she was used to.

“Thank you, Bonnie. And no, I don’t know everything I just know a lot, but I still need to have the full picture and all the players to tell which is the best plan of attack here. As I said, you can’t kill Klaus, but you also don’t want him to become a hybrid right? That means we need to take every variable in consideration.” she argued and saw both Bonnie and Damon share a look before seemingly agreeing with her point of view. And boy was the Klaus of her universe going to laugh himself stupid when/if she made it back and told him his lessons in planning schemes - her dad’s turn of phrase not hers of Klaus’ - had been what had helped her most here. Oh irony, you cruel, opportunistic bitch. 

“Bonnie was meant to take on over 100 dead witches’ energy today, it’s why we were waiting for Damon, he knew where they’d died.” came the first important nugget of information from the most - or least? - expected person, Jeremy Gilbert himself. Rose smiled at him in gratitude, glad at least one person was listening. 

“Ok, that’s still going to be useful so maybe you should do that anyway and meanwhile I’ll see what Katherine's hiding?” Rose suggested and she didn’t even need to think before knowing that Damon was going to disagree with her - her dad still made that face whenever she and her friends planned something he thought was too dangerous or risky. Bonnie however seemed more receptive. 

“No way! Do you even know what that bitch is capable of?” as she said, predictable.

“Damon, I think she might be right. You know Katherine is planning something, no way is she helping from the goodness of her heart and she won’t say anything to any of us.” Ah, how she loved her mom’s pragmatism at times - except when she was 14 and wanted a pony, then she much rather preferred her dad’s personal brand of impulsiveness that not only got her the pony she’s wanted since 5 but also made a stable off a little way further from the house.

“And she is still keeping Katherine knocked out.” Jeremy was quickly becoming Rose’s favourite person, no joke. He was full of wonderful insight and 100% helping her barely formed ideas come to fruition. She smiled proudly and nodded to the still unconscious vampire on the floor. She elected to ignore outright looking at the woman for now, too weirded out by the 1 to 1 replica of Elena to feel comfortable with it. Doppelgangers were too much for her. It was like evil clones, her dad had explained when he tried to make her understand how the whole doppelganger thing even worked - something about the universe or some chick named Tessa or another, she hadn’t been paying too close attention by that point. Their lives were very convoluted in her opinion. 

Damon seemed to consider this possibility then, taking another large sip of bourbon and looking directly at Rose as he did so, before slamming the glass onto the end table by the foot of the couch and jumping to his feet. 

“Alright, fine, then Bon-Bon, you me and little Gilbert need to head off. Rosie-Posie, you get the Queen of Hell. Good luck to you, you’re going to need it. The bitch hasn’t told the truth a day in her life.” 

Rose nodded, smiled and waved them off as they all got out and left to do what they’d planned to do. She couldn’t wait for that honestly, it would at least get Bonnie’s magic up closer to the levels Rose knew from her mom. But the Rosie-Posie was going to kill her the longer she stayed here. It was going to make her slip and call Damon dad and it would all implode into itself, because if she was weak to one thing, it was being her dad’s Rosie-Posie and while she was fully aware this wasn’t actually her dad, her heart didn’t care. All was left now was for her mom to brush her hair out of her eyes and she might just snap. She’d missed her parents far before she got herself stranded in a different universe - despite it having been barely a few hours - since she hadn’t been home in at least 2 months. Sure she’d seen them nearly every night, more mom than dad since dad tried to pretend he still was immune to missing his girls, but it wasn’t the same as hearing her dad from a few feet away, well within hug reach or feel her mom’s warm hand through her hair. Fuck, and now she was crying. This day couldn’t be going worse. Her eyes strayed to Katherine and she groaned. Oh, it could definitely get worse. It could get so much worse.

[noonaficcorner]

Monday to FUNday

Pairing:  RM | V | Yoongi | Jin X Reader

Theme: Smutty One Shot

Rating: Smut, Fluff

Warning: Slight dominance, masturbation, language, Voyeurism

Word Count: 4K+

Summary: Week in and week out, same stuff at your boring job. That is until you get the surprise of a lifetime in four special customers at your high-end shop. Can you help them out or will they end up helping you?

A/N: My second story! Yay! This was kind of a request. I didn’t mean for it to get so long but here it is. Been a while since I wrote something smutty, so be kind!

Mondays were the bane of your existence. Tuesdays were the second cousin of the devil. Wednesdays were a nightmare. Thursdays were the biggest tease on the planet. And Fridays… were your favorite day of the whole week. Every other Friday was the day your boss decided she needed a ‘mental health’ day. For you, that meant that the boutique was run by solely you and also a day when you didn’t have the wicked witch of Brooklyn on her broom flying around bugging you.

It was another witchless Friday and the shop was barely filled with customers. Being a personal dresser and assistant manager of a high-end boutique in New York sounded like the best job in the world. But in reality, you were bored most of the time when your clients weren’t scheduled. You found yourself scrolling through twitter and tumblr, liking memes and posting gifs to pass the time. The store doorbell almost stopped you from reblogging another post about Game of Thrones, but you just reached over and buzzed whoever it was in.

“Welcome to Eternal Saints, have a blessed browsing day.” Not even lifting your head from your computer, you greeted the person with a bored tone. Whoever they were had made it to your counter and waited for eye contact from you. It was going to be one of those kinds of customers. Switching the tab on your computer and slipping off the stool, you looked up and froze. Maybe because you were so lost in your own world of smut and memes, the sound of at least four sets of footsteps sounded as one. It was hard to control your facial expression as you stared at the creature that stood before you. Could you be stuck in a daydream or was this real life where not one, not two, not even three, but four members of the biggest boy group on the planet were standing in your shop?

“Ha-hi…hilow?” Words were hard when your brain was basically a Netflix hold screen. Are you still watching? Yes Netflix, I’m always still watching!

The chuckle that floated from his lips was rich and you felt it deep in the pit of your chest cavity.

“Hi.  Sorry to come in like this, but we’re in need of some outfits for an unexpected event. Is it possible you could help us out?” Another man came from behind the gorgeous blond. You assumed it was his manager. All you could do is nod as you came from behind the counter to assess the situation at hand.

Four out of seven members of BTS were in your shop with two bodyguards and a manager. This wasn’t the first time you had encountered celebrities, but this was the first time you got starstruck. What your boss and co-workers didn’t know is that you were a little of a secret fangirl. Dabbling in the world of hot guys and even hotter songs. So this moment, it was like an out of body experience.

V or Taehyung was standing by the accessory wall with Jin. Suga or Yoongi was trying on a hat in the corner and Kim Namjoon, a.k.a RM a.k.a the leader of BTS and some of your own fantasies was standing in front of you, trying not to laugh.

“Sure. It’s just me here today but I can help you in any way.” You muttered as you grabbed your portfolio and keys to the dressing rooms. It was obvious that your comment could be taken in not a very professional way, and it seemed that Namjoon had picked up on it and covered up his laugh with a cough. You tried not to wish for the floor to open up and swallow you into the depths of hell at that very moment.

Sensing that something was about to happen, both Taehyung and Jin left their spots to come greet you.

“My name is Y/N and I’ll be assisting you guys today. To make sure you find something you’re comfortable and happy with, I’ll have to take all of your measurements. We can step into the dressing area for privacy.” If you tried to think of them as any old clients, maybe your heart rate wouldn’t go 95 miles per minute.

The four of them gathered around you as their manager nodded and went to take phone calls in the front of the store and their guard did his guarding by the door. Turning around, you asked them to follow you into the back of the shop.

The dressing area was a large round room. In the middle, there were couches and podiums for measuring and tailoring. Individual rooms lined the walls for private dressing. Think Victoria Secret’s older and more bougie sister, and that was Eternal Saints.

“Can I go first?” Jin volunteered and jumped on the podium. Your bias for BTS was ever changing and you had a soft spot for each seven of them. As he stood there, you tried to control your breathing and shaky hand while you pulled out your measuring tape. You were about to go where every fangirl only dreamed of going.

“Stand still please…” you whispered as your hand went to measure his inseam. You were just inches away from his crotch and you could feel the sweat start to form at your brow. The room started to melt away and the only focus was Jin. It was so quiet in the room, you could only hear the breathing of the four men and the thumping of your own heart.

Kneeling in front of him on the podium, you left his inner thigh and went to wrap the tape around his waist. The boldness in you made you dare to look up and that’s when your eyes met with the deep pools of his. He shot you a wink and you thought your head was going to combust. Your fingers slipped and grazed his hip and the smirk that came on his lips made your fingers tremble. This was not going as you planned. Quickly standing, you came to do his chest and because of your heels, you almost reached his height, just shy a few inches.

“You’re really good at this.” He whispered when you mentally jogged down his stats. The blush traveled over your cheeks and took place down your neck. You watched as his eyes traveled its journey and landed lower, onto your chest. It seemed as if both of you stopped breathing but it was when your knees started to buckle and your ass was about to hit the ground, his arm shot out to catch you.

What you weren’t expecting was three other sets of hands to be on your body as well, making sure you didn’t break your neck. Or so you hoped.

“You okay?” The concern came from Yoongi. You weren’t expecting to hear anything from him. But all of them helped you down and you tried to shoo them off.

“I’m fine. It happens more than you think. It’s alright. I need to finish you all up.” Again, your words coming in the form of innuendos and all of you ended up laughing. Easing some of the tension in the room.

The rest of the measuring went off without any trouble. But each time you had to get close to any of them, the temperature in the room seemed to rise, and maybe it was your imagination, but there were times when their hands would graze against yours. Chest bumps, holding on to your arms and sliding down to your hands. Small touches that felt huge in the current situation.

Once you were finished, you basically ran around the shop grabbing items left and right to try. Coming back with your arms filled with things to put in each of their changing rooms.

“Okay, I’ve paired up things according to your sizes and personal preferences. If you could just go and try them on, we can see what we’re working with.” With that, they all listened to you and once the doors closed, you took a breath and fell against the couch. You were going to die young and they would be listed as the cause of death on your certificate.

“Y/N?” Taehyung’s blue-colored head popped out the door and you immediately jumped up.

“Yes? Everything okay?” You rushed over, hoping that you didn’t get him something terrible.

“Um, could you help me for a second?” He asked with the sweetest smile. You almost fell into a heap on the floor before his request registered in your brain. He wanted me inside? Inside the room?!

Looking around, all the other doors were closed and their manager was still busy in the main part of the store. You really shouldn’t be walking in there but would this chance ever come back around? Probably not. With that thought, the door closed behind you and there was nothing between you and a shirtless Taehyung, dressed only in a pair of low hung jeans.

His chest on display in front of your eyes. This was something that wasn’t shown often, but when it was, you were quick to save it to your phone. Fan pictures and gifs were your only source material, until now. You found yourself mesmerized by the smoothness and the definition. That is until it was taken from your view by his closeness.

Your head was still tilted down when his fingers came and lifted your chin to look at him. Taehyung’s touch felt as if his fingers were dipped in lava. His thumb and forefinger pinched your chin and he turned your head to the side so he could whisper in your ear.

“You’re probably one of the most attractive women I’ve ever laid eyes on. Like…” his breath brushed against your ear and the feeling traveled through your veins and settled in the pit of your stomach.

“…I couldn’t stop looking at you.” With his free hand, he grabbed yours and placed it on his chest. The little devil on your shoulder wanted you to rub all over and dip below those jeans. The angel was being strangled by the devil and had no words of reason. So your fingers danced along his pecs.

“We shouldn’t be doing this.” You whispered while his lips rubbed against your jaw.

“Doing what? I haven’t done anything… yet.” That ‘yet’ held so much weight, you wanted to scream. Your eyes started to flutter shut as his lips inched closer to the corners of yours. Every cell in your body was at war with you. Should you kiss, should you run away, are you wearing cute panties today? These were the thoughts ping-ponging in your head.

“Y/N.” Just as Taehyung’s lips were about to descend upon yours, your name came from beyond the door. A low growl escaped from him and your eyes shot open. His forehead fell against yours and you wanted the moment to be frozen in time. Kim Taehyung had you pressed against the door and the last thing you wanted to do was leave. The way his hand ghosted down your side and squeezed at your hip, you could tell he didn’t want to let you leave either.

Unfortunately, he let go of your hip and opened the door for you. Allowing you to stumble out, he mouthed ‘Come back´ before shutting the door.

What the fuck just happened?!

“Y/N” your name was being called from another changing room. This time from across the room. No head was out like before but you could tell which one it was. After what just happened with Taehyung, your body moved more on autopilot than anything. Before you knew it, you were in Min Yoongi’s changing room. He was sitting on the small bench inside, and luckily he was fully dressed.

“Were you busy? I’m sorry, but I think these pants won’t work. Look how they drag when I’m sitting.” Yoongi pointed to the base of the jeans and they were indeed on the floor but they were also meant to be rolled above the ankle.

Immediately you dropped to your knees to fix the problem for this shorty.

“They’re long but that can be avoided. This style has an exaggerated cuff and they look better when wearing high tops.” You sat back on your heels and showed him how they’re supposed to be. Obviously, after what just happened, you didn’t think you’d be in another changing room with a member but here you were, on your knees and Min Yoongi looking at your with a hunger in his eyes.

“Do you make it a habit to be on your knees often? This is the second time you’re in this position in front of me and we’ve only just met.” His comment was bold and unforgiving. Your pulse was picking up or perhaps it never happened to slow down. A response was lost in your thoughts, but he wasn’t wrong. You tried to remember when you were on your knees but then it clicked that he was referring to taking his initial measurements.

Instead of waiting for an answer, his stare was calculating. It was as if he was trying to see how far he could take this line of conversation. Apparently, it was going to infinity and beyond. One moment you were staring blankly at him, and the next, he was standing above you removing the pants.

“Abort! Abort!” the voice in your head was screaming, but as his black briefs came into view, your mouth went dry and your thighs clenched. He was obviously aroused and you could relate. The cute panties you thought you were wearing, were becoming damp and you were positive that he knew.

Once the pants were completely off, he looked down at you with lustful eyes as you were level with his crotch.

“I think I’ll take them.” Was he talking about the pants or something else? You could tell he wanted to go further, and so did you, but just as his fingers wove into your hair to bring you closer, your name was called once again. A groan left your lips and he chuckled.

“Make sure you come back.” He said. His thumb dragged across your bottom lip and the bold side of you wanted to suck on it. Due to the fact this was the first time ever in your life you had four crazy handsome guys flirting with you, your hormones were a bit all over the place. Instead of sucking on his thumb, your tongue just swiped against it and that deep rumble came from his chest again.

“Go. Leave before I don’t let you leave.” His words were dark but filled with promise. Min Yoongi was a man you did not play games with. And if you did, be ready for the punishment that would follow.

Stumbling from the door and almost falling face first into the ground, once again you were left alone in the room. Now the fear was starting to course its way through your veins. Your name was obviously being called by someone else, but the last two times you entered one of their rooms, you were left a needy mess. Was the third time a charm?

The door to Namjoon’s room was cracked and you assumed it was him that called you away from Yoongi. Easing your way over, it was hard to keep your hands from shaking. There wasn’t a fear of him, but more fear of the unknown. Peeking in, you saw that he was fully dressed in the outfit you had chosen for him. Navy slacks, simple white button down and slightly embellished jacket to match. It was a sexy outfit and really complimented his silver, pushed back hairstyle.

“You called me?” at the sound of your voice, he turned from the mirror. His hands on his hips allowed you to see that he had left the button down completely open. Your jaw went slack and your instincts brought you fully into the small room, the door shut behind your back. Eyes glued to his little happy trail on display.

“Yeah, I’m not sure this is going to work.” He sighed and his stare was intense. He did not look pleased.

What was he talking about? He looked like sex personified. If your wildest fantasies came to life, they would be Kim Namjoon standing in front of you wearing that outfit.

Flustered, you started looking around at the other pieces that you brought, moving around to pick them up and find a good combo that would look equally as well on him. However, the moment you got close to him, you froze. There was a hand on your hip as you were bent over picking up a thrown shirt.

“Y/N, I’m not talking about the clothes.” Namjoon’s voice was still stern but the anger you assumed was there, was replaced with something else. Joining his other, both hands took your hips into his possession and his fingers started to flex. You tried to stand up but before you could, you were roughly pulled flush against him. Well hello! Ass, meet dick. A very hard and noticeable one at that.

You were ass to pelvis with Namjoon and because his grip was so hard, you couldn’t move. That is until he pulled you back and instantly became a little spoon in his arms.

“I know you were in their rooms. I can’t even blame them because… damn. It took all my willpower not to mark you when you were measuring me before.” His words were going on a dangerous journey along with his hands. One left your hip and traveled across your lower stomach. The moment the button of your jeans were snapped open, you couldn’t breathe. What was air when he was playing you this way?

“It’s not often we end up liking the same girl, but I really want to throw my hat into the ring. Or… my hand into…” Oh, his hand. That hand that writes beautiful music, was making its way past the band of your panties and inching further south. You were tense with anticipation and his lips coming to pepper kisses along your neck didn’t help. Your head started to roll back against his shoulder and you felt your thighs start to spread. Cursing the fact that you wore jeans today, you didn’t want anything to come in the way of what was hopefully about to happen.

“Can I touch you, Y/N? I’m not even there yet and I can tell you’re so hot and wet. I wonder how tight you’d be.”  He groaned into your ear. His finger dipped lower and ran the length of your slit. The moan that erupted from your lips was louder than you had hoped, but there was no way you could keep quiet.

“Did I make you this wet or did the others? Be honest.” Namjoon lightly slapped the outside of your pussy to end his statement. The level of arousal was growing to heights you’ve only given yourself.

With his free hand, he pulled your jeans down past your hips, allowing his busy hand more room to play with you. Once the top cleared your ass cheeks, the hand went under your shirt to palm your neglected breasts. When his fingers grazed against your nipples, you realized how tight they actually were. This was the most stimulation they had received since your last breast exam, six months ago.

With a sudden pinch to your clit, you gasped louder and you covered your mouth to stop the following moan.

“I said be honest. By that, I mean answer my question, Y/N. In full detail.” He went back to playing back and forth along your slit.

“All of you. You’ve all flirted and touched me in ways I haven’t been touched in a long time. Oh god, just keep touching me.” You moaned and spread wider to feel more of his talented fingers. It felt like you were losing your sanity with the slow build up. At that point, you just wanted to get off. It didn’t matter who did it. Fuck, you were so far gone, you played with the idea of dropping to the floor and fingering your damn self.

Your answer must have been one he was pleased with because you were rewarded greatly. A pinch to your needy nipple and fingers finding their destination inside of you. Namjoon angled your face to him and he swallowed your moans with his mouth.

Tears threatened to spill down your cheeks but all that happened was his fingers becoming coated by you. His thumb settled on your clit as one finger quickly joined by a second and third pumped into you. Your hips ground against his and you felt how this was affecting him. That just brought on another wave of wetness.

The kiss was sloppy but the hunger was there. It felt as if he was devouring you whole. Between his tongue battling for dominance and his fingers playing you as if you were an instrument in his studio; you were gone.

The kiss broke but his lips just attached to your neck instead. Licks turned into bites which morphed to sucking of your skin. You were nearing the edge of no return and Namjoon was going to push you right over. Your eyes were starting to close but shot open when he pinched your nipple roughly.

“Keep them open. Look at what I’m doing to you.” You had forgotten about the full-length mirror in the room. For the first time since this started, you’ve seen your appearance. If it wasn’t you having this, you’d think you were watching some porno. Your shirt was lifted above your breasts and the bra pulled down for his access. Watching as his fingers thrusting between your thighs was the most erotic experience of your life. You weren’t even exposed because of your panties, but knowing it was his fingers inside of you, edging you closer to your release, was almost too much to handle.

“I’m so… close…” you labored, trying to hold on to the little ounce of control you had left.

His chuckle was deep and muffled by his lips against your neck. “Just let go. Come apart in my hands.”

The defiant streak in you wanted this to keep going. It felt like hours since he had touched you. Since Jin’s stolen touches, Taehyung’s almost kisses, Yoongi’s promise of dominance. But it was Namjoon who had you a sweaty mess in the palm of his hands. However, it was that fleeting thought that his bandmates were still in the vicinity. That they could probably hear Namjoon’s fingers working in and out of your wetness, the moans that seemed to float high above you both.

You wanted to know what they were thinking if they were just as aroused as the two of you in that now steamy room. Just knowing, that little bit of voyeurism, had you coming apart in his hands. Legs shaking, your hands clawing at his arms as you searched for his lips to drown out your screams of pure ecstasy. It felt as if you went harder and higher than any climax you’ve ever reached in your adult life.

And the comedown was even sweeter. Once the aftershocks eased, Namjoon turned you around and started to fix your clothes. You were basically a ragdoll in his arms, incapable of doing anything. Once your pants and shirt were back to its original state, he littered you with kisses. Kissing the marks he left on your neck, your lips and even your eyes. It felt sweeter than anything you’d expect from a random hookup with a celebrity.

“I think I’ll keep this suit. It seems to be a lucky charm.” He joked and walked you out of the room. Your mind was still a pile of what the fuck when you stopped dead in your tracks, Namjoon running into your back.

You assumed that the others had an idea of what was happening in that room. What you didn’t expect was them to be seated in the open area, as if they were waiting for you. Their looks ranged from jealousy, arousal, to mischief.

Instead of separating from you, Namjoon’s arm wrapped around your hip and he pulled you close. You ping-ponged between his face and the others. Did you apologize? It wasn’t actually your fault, or was it?

“If you were going to pull the leader card, you could have given us a heads up. I was this close, ya know.” Taehyung held his fingers a small distance from each other. Yoongi leaned over and slapped him in the chest.

“If anyone was the closest, it was me. Had Y/N on her knees for me.” He shot you a wink and the blush returned tenfold. Namjoon pulled you tighter against him and he just rolled his eyes.

“Whatever. We lost and he won. Can we go, I picked my outfit.” Jin sat sulking in the corner of the couch. You felt kinda bad about the whole situation. But this is something you would have never dreamed of. These four men were sexually attracted to you but you didn’t want to become the next Yoko Ono and come between them.

That was when the dirtiest, wildest, idea popped into your head. They would never. Would they?

“Well, my shift is basically over when you guys finish. If you’re game, we can see who really comes out on top out of the four of you.” Smirking and watching each of their faces register shock, you wondered if they would even go for what you were implying.

Jin, Yoongi, Namjoon, and Taehyung all shared a look, replied in unison and you knew you weren’t getting any sleep tonight.

“We’re game!”

[marriedgangbangslut]

The Glory of The Hole 2/2

OK so Monday was a total bust and once i got to my room i broke out my little anal vibrator and hitachi wand (they are the BEST and hubby loves it too so get one if you don’t have it in you inventory already!!) then made myself cum so hard i thought the vibrator in my ass was going to break in two from all the clenching! Got cleaned up then went to bed, the rest of the week went on as normal, presentations, break out sessions, dinners, and all the other boring stuff conferences are known for. I will admit that I spotted quite a few guys that I would have loved to take back to my room for fun but its hard enough being a woman in the corporate sector without the rumor that I am banging half the guys at the conference. So i just kept up my normal routine and got myself off every night.

Thursday night comes and we have a big party in the main hall, I drink, laugh, drink some more and then finally excuse myself around 1030pm. Head to my room and i am determined to have a better night out than i did on Monday so i take a quick shower, insert my medium size steel butt plug with a heart shaped jewel into my ass then put on a loose dress that comes down just past my knees sans the bra and panties so i don’t have to keep track of them. Head down and hail a cab. A few of the guys see me and ask where im off too and i tell them to the store cause its that time of the month (stops a lot of questions from being asked) then i jump in alone and tell the guy the address.

Finally arrive, pay the driver and notice the lot is PACKED and there are even guys hanging out around the front. I was so excited that i started breathing heavy right away! I walk in and guys are looking at me, I make a scene at the counter loudly asking the guy “do you have change for a 50 so i can pay for the booths” he says sure and i notice around 5 guys head back that way. I get my change and walk back with them all gawking at me. I select my booth and walk in, without closing the door all the way i put my purse down and pull my dress over my head and loudly say “soooooo much better”, as i do that i hear doors close to the booths on both sides of me and i just leave mine cracked so people can peek in. Feed the machine two 5′s and open the doors on both sides, unlike last time there was no prompting, as soon as i opened the door I had a cock sliding through from both sides. Both were white and average but tbh I don’t care about size as long as they can cum for me! So i lay my dress on the floor in front of the hole on the right side then get on my knees and start working on this guy. Now I can deep throat most sizes and I enjoy doing it but I have learned that when doing glory holes its best to hold back so you don’t get worn out too quick, especially since I knew there were at least 5 guys waiting for me. Porn is blasting in my booth, guys are peeping in my door and im giving anon head, i am in heaven right now and after a few minutes i hear a knock on the wall (etiquette guys) and a few seconds later he unloads in my mouth, it was salty, hot and a little sour as it filled my mouth and after he was done cumming i did a big gulp swallow and moved onto the guy waiting at the other hole. I serviced him and then the next guy that took the place of cock #1.

After i had started on the fourth guy I was feeling kind of full cause cum has a way of sitting heavy in my stomach but i was determined to get my fill, as i was sucking guy 4 the door opens and a guy peeks his head in and asks if i want some water or company. It was sweet of him to ask so i said yes to both and he came back a second later with cold water and a smile, I pause my suck session with the guy at the hole and take a drink to cool down, that’s when the nice gentleman asked if i wanted to have sex while i serviced the guy at the hole. I said “well since you’re being so sweet why not”. I put the water down and bent over instead of getting on my knees and went back to work on the guy at the hole, a minute later i felt his cock enter me, it was big and warm and so veiny that i shuddered, almost had an orgasm but didn’t and went back to working on the guy in front of me. After a few strokes I asked if he was wearing a condom, he replied “no but i can go get one if it will make you more comfortable”, again he was such a gentleman about everything, but at that point i was like “its no big deal just keep going” so he got back inside me and resumed his gentle pace. A few minutes had passed and guy 4 at the hole knocked on the wall so i shoved his dick as far back into my mouth as i could. He came in my throat a little then pulled back and finished cumming in my mouth. I swallowed and right as I looked back, the guy that was inside me said he “really. liked. my. butt. plug. aghhhhhhh” and he creampied me without another word. He pulled out and just went “whew that was nice” and asked if i was sticking around. I told him my knees were sore so i am going to use the couches in the theater for the rest of my night. 

I grabbed my purse and dress off the floor and just walked naked to the theater through the store, it got the attention of some lurkers in the shop area and the guy at the counter buzzed me in. Once inside I moved slow again to let my eyes adjust then made my way to the main theater area and just plopped down on a couch, lying on my back. Drank some water and chilled for a minute, well a minute is all it takes for men in an adult theater to circle around a naked woman with a shiny butt plug and fresh creampie. There must have been at least 13 guys and most were naked from the waist down and jerking off to me. I told the guys that i would take them 2 at a time and to please be respectful, also if they have condoms they should use them and if not just let me know so i could keep track. I pointed to 2 guys and waved them closer so i could sit up and give them head, i went back and forth for a while and said one of them needs to fuck me ASAP and laid down on the couch. One of them got between my legs and said he didn’t have a condom and asked if i was clean, I told him i was then grabbed the other guys arm to have him sit one my chest so i could give him head while the other guy went to town on me. It only took a few minutes and the guy fucking me said he was going to cum, I stopped giving head long enough to tell him not to pull out and he happily agreed! Crampie #2 for night and right then the guy i was blowing erupted in my mouth and on my face, I swallowed what i could and then wiped the rest off my face into my mouth and swallowed that as well.

Next up was a black guy and im pretty sure a hispanic guy, the black guy had a condom on and dove right in while the hispanic guy just jerked off over my face. it didn’t take more than a minute and he was cumming everywhere on my face and hair! I swallowed what i could and then the black guy said he wanted me to get on all fours, I was happy to oblidge and when i sat up I could feel how much cum was in my stomach and let loose this loud burp! All i could taste was cum and for a second i thought i was going to have party foul and throw up but i held it back and said “sorry guys, ive done a lot of swallowing so far this evening” a few laughed others not so much. Anyway i got on all fours with my face down and ass pushed back a little and the black guy got back inside me, he started playing with my plug, working it in and out and eventually, slowly pulled it out all the way and handed it to me, all he said was “lick it clean slut” so i started licking it clean 🤤 Contrary to what you see in porn assholes are rarely clean enough to not have any taste and if I’m being honest, while clean, it wasn’t douched so the plug tasted kinda bad but I did what I was told while he fucked me. He pounded me hard for a minute then pulled out and slowly slid in my ass using some of his spit for lube (no spit is not good lube at all) and worked his way all the way inside me again. He tried to goo all out but I had to tell him to slow down and take it easy so he didn’t tear anything which thankfully he didn’t. Even at the slower pace it didn’t take long before he let out a grunt and stopped thrusting and I could feel his condom fill up. After he pulled out I flipped over on my back again and caught my breath, put my plug in my purse and tried to see how many guys were left. There were only a few and they were a little scattered so I drank some more water and watched some porn on the screen to catch my breath.  I had a nice break and was ready for more, looked at my watch and noticed that I was past 130am! Geez no wonder I was tired. A few people were still lingering and I decided to go check out the holes again. Grabbed my stuff and headed toward the door when a younger guy, probably in his mid 20′s said it was really hot watching me take on all those guys. I said thanks it’s not often people tell me stuff like that so it’s nice to be appreciated. He asked me if I knew any of them or if they were just random guys, I said “as random as you sweetie, are you interested in playing too?” He said he was too shy to play in front of others so I said we can go to one of the rooms in the back, he agreed and held my hand as we walked back. It must have been a strange sight for anyone to see a totally naked lady pretty much covered in cum walking with a guy half her age hand in hand to a playroom. We walk in and close the door (lock it too) and he was so nervous that his hands were like ice! He rubbed them together a little to try and warm them up and I suggested he sit back and let me take the edge off for him. I unzipped his pants and pulled out his dick slowly stroking it until it was hard and put it in my mouth, I was just giving him a nice chill blow job and having a good time when he grabs my arm and asked if he could go down on me. It not very common for guys to ask that in theaters and as much as I wanted him to do it I had to remind him that I had 2 guys cream pie 🥧 already and I wasn’t sure he’d like that. He just stood up, pulled the rest of his clothes off and sat me down then dove in face first with his tongue flying! If I’m being honest I could tell he wasn’t that good at eating pussy but he was enjoying himself and it was nice to have some me time. I’m pretty sure he cleaned me up better than a shower could have and before long he spread my legs wider and pushed them back behind my ears and started to fuck me! He was so rhythmic, going with the beat of the music in the room and it was full in and out strokes too, none of that half in half out stuff that I get a lot of at the theaters. Before long he had me ready to pop and I was rolling my eyes back screaming as he just pounded away. Shortly after he said he was going to cum and asked where I wanted it, I said “you can cum inside me baby” and he replied “I don’t want to get you pregnant though” I just laughed and said “I have a plan b for that so keep going” and he did, finally let loose inside of me and he kept going for a good 5 minutes after too! He got dressed and thanked me again for everything then headed out the door, didn’t see him again that night. 

Needing a break I headed to the bathroom to get cleaned up a little, when I looked at myself in the mirror I was shocked to see how used I looked, my makeup was smeared, my hair was sticky and caked in cum and I had drip marks on my legs and my white shoes had yellow stains on them (they were new too damnit!). So I washed my face off a little and squeezed the cum out of me and then slid my dress on and headed to the store, it was after 2 and it was quiet with only a few people roaming around. The guy at the desk asked if I was going back in or if he was good to start cleaning up, told him I was going to the booths for a while and mentioned which couch I was on and apologized for any mess left behind, he laughed and said it happens all the time and walked off. 

Feeling refreshed a little I went to the buddy booth I tried to play at on Monday, found it open and fed the machine, I stripped off my dress again and walked out into the hallway, there were 3 guys lurking and not doing anything despite my obvious invite so I walked over to them, grabbed the hands of two of them and took them to the booth with me. The last guy in tried to close the door but I had him leave it open so anyone that wanted to join could. I asked them to take off their pants and as they did I laid in the bench with my ass in the air and said I wanted them to spit roast me! I heard the sound of wrappers and I looked back, they were opening condoms and getting ready to put them on. I said “no boys I want you to fill me up before I leave for my flight” and grabbed the condoms and tossed them in the corner, they got into position, one in front and one behind me, and we got a nice back and forth rhythm going where I would just be rocking one into my mouth and the other out of my pussy then opposite, like most men the guy fucking me didn’t last long and soon I felt him fill me up and slide out. He said thanks and went to leave and I told him to stay and switch places with the other guy so I could clean him up, he shrugged and the guys switched places. I started licking him clean and the other guy got in me and went to town! At that pace and probably also cause I was giving him head before he came really fast inside me. I sat down and licked the second guy clean too and said thank you for everything! They left and I peeked my head out the door to find an empty hall and quiet arcade. I grabbed my stuff and walked to the counter, the guy behind it asked if I had a good time and politely suggested I put my dress on while in the store, so I slid it on and said I had a great time and will be back for sure! Checking my watch it was now after 3 and I was definitely tired so I called a cab and headed back to my hotel, showered and slept for right through my alarm which caused me to miss my flight home, at least this time missing my flight wasn’t a big deal and I was happy for the extra 💤 

So for a week that started out so bad I managed to have A LOT of fun and get my fill of random guys. I got home and filled hubby in on the details and he was so turned on that he pulled me into the bedroom and we had sex for an hour before I was too tired to go on so I laid down and had him stroke himself until he came in my mouth, I fell asleep happy after that. 

Now I know sex with random guys in a seedy adult theater is dangerous but I take measures to protect myself, first I am on BC, second I take Prep, third I use plan b after all my nights out and I get tested every 3 months. I don’t have hsv2 or 1 and honestly have only caught a few minor std’s over the years so when I play, even without condoms I am still playing safe.

So score for the night was 5 cream pies, swallowed 6 loads and took 3 facials (2 guys were stroking in the front rows so I let them both cum on my face) and fucked 6 guys total. Not bad for a business trip if you ask me! Hubby and I had a trip planned for the 4th of July this year but now that the whole COVID19 thing is going on it’s been cancelled and it’s just me and hubs in the house, I never thought I could get bored sucking dick but I’ve done it so much over the past 13 days that my mouth is basically on auto pilot, hubby loves it still but I can tell even he is ready for some group action!

That’s all for now, let me know in the comments what you think we should do after this quarantine thing is over and also if you want to hear about anything specific like sex clubs, naughty vacations or even sex with my neighbors!

MGBS

#fantasyland #goodgirlsswallow #nopullingoutplease #nocondomclub

[time-to-be-awesome]

A day in the life of Amy

Thursday 14th May 2020

Note - I know this is very long and I hope it doesn’t come across as self-obsessed. I was inspired by the Refinery29 Money Diaries which I find fascinating. I love getting a real insight into other people’s lives so maybe other people will find this interesting? Even if they don’t I know I’ll be glad to have this snapshot of this time in my life to look back on later.

I am 28 years old and live in Yorkshire, England. I live on my own in a rented 1 bedroom flat. I am a mental health social worker but have been working from home during lockdown. I am currently trying to lose weight and get fitter. This is a day in my life.

7:30am Alarm goes off. I spend a couple of minutes checking the BBC coronavirus morning update whilst I wake up. Have a big glass of chilled water and take my tablets for my underactive thyroid. I get dressed into workout leggings and a baggy t-shirt, put on a hoody and a light coat. I make a coffee in my travel mug.

8:00am I set off on my morning walk. The rules were changed this week so I can now exercise outside for an unlimited amount of time, whereas I was previously having to stick to once a day for about an hour. I am very lucky to live close to a big area of interconnected woods and fields that are public access. People have been painting stones and leaving them along the side of the footpaths. There are new ones almost every day, and other people move them to make it a sort of treasure hunt. There isn’t a cloud in the sky and I feel my spirits lift immediately as I walk in the sun and drink my coffee. I listen to the birdsong and as I get to a remote patch of brambles I walk very slowly and quietly. I’m rewarded with the sight of 12 wild rabbits grazing and hopping about before they inevitably spot me and scurry away.

8:50am I get back home. I tracked the walk on the Mapmywalk app and it tells me I burnt 258 calories, but the main benefit is getting the fresh air and a positive start to my day. I make my regular breakfast – one protein weatabix with milk, low-fat greek yoghurt, a chopped banana, mixed berries, and a sprinkle of a seed mix.

9:00am I set up my work laptop on my dining table and log in. I finish eating my breakfast whilst going through my emails and making a to-do list for the day. My first task is to write up a review that I did recently with a service user. It was a very positive review, they have been building their independence and can now manage their daily life with much less involvement from carers. I phoned the care agency to check their rates and then update the support plan with the new lower weekly cost. I call the service user to let them know that the change has been made and we agree that it is time for me to end my involvement. I spend the rest of the morning writing a closing summary of all the case work I have done with them since I was allocated a year ago.

12:15pm I’m already in my workout clothes so I get out my exercise mat and use my lunch break to complete day 2 of Chloe Ting’s Summer Shred Challenge. Today there are four videos including the warm up and cool down and it takes me an hour in total. I mostly do the modified versions but even following the video I can’t begin to fathom how to do a side plank hip abduction! I take sips of water throughout and by the time I’ve finished I’ve drunk two pints. I don’t have a fitness tracker so I don’t track the calories burnt by these workouts.

1:15pm Lunch break is technically over, but working from home has to have some perks and I think a bit of flexibility on working hours is one of those. I have a quick shower and get changed into my ‘day’ leggings and baggy t-shirt. I don’t have to do any video calls so there’s no need to look professional and its comfort all the way. I make my lunch – cut up veggies with hummus, some rice crackers and a triangle of cheese. I’ve very hungry by now so eat quite quickly. Not satisfied so I also have a packet of sweet chilli multigrain wave crisps and a glass of diet cloudy lemonade.

1:35pm I log back on to my laptop. Unfortunately three of my service users have passed away from Covid-19 in the past few weeks so I email the team admin so the records can be updated with their date of death. I had spent a lot of one to one time with one of the gentleman and I feel upset and guilty that he passed away after moving to a care home that I had helped organise. I ring his son to offer my condolences and share a happy memory of the gentleman.

2:00pm I phone a placement to follow up a safeguarding referral. A service user was given an extra dose of medication, but it didn’t have any negative effect and the managers have discussed it with the staff member responsible. Determined that no further action was needed. Discussed how the placement was going in general and there were no other issues and no further role for me. I’d been due to close the case anyway so I wrote up another closing summary.

3:30pm I decide I need a snack, partly because I’m hungry but also because I want a bit of a break. I’ve been using up the food I had in the house so I don’t have many options and go for two digestive biscuits. I start typing up a mental capacity assessment that I completed over the phone. The service user in question isn’t able to make the decision themselves whether they should have home care or not. Part of the job is making the decision of what is in the person’s best interest and they don’t always agree with that. This has caused a lot of issues for this person in the past and I’m not feeling very optimistic about their situation.

4:30pm My concentration has gone out the window. I start thinking about what I’ll make for dinner. I usually make a batch of something on a Monday that’s enough for 4 or 5 portions and I just have to heat it up, but I’ve already run out of my last batch cook. I have most of the ingredients for a bean pot so make a shopping list of the other things I’ll need.

5:00pm I log off from my work laptop, switch my leggings for jeans, and head out for another walk. I want to put some space between my work day and my free time. Whilst I’m walking I phone my mum and we have a good 45 minute catch up. She hadn’t been feeling very well and said talking to me really cheered her up so I’m glad I did.

5:45pm I go to the supermarket on the way home. My closest store is a Lidl and it’s generally pretty well stocked now that everyone has stopped panic buying. I get the ingredients I need, as well as some bits for breakfasts and lunches, and I impulse bought a house plant. Total spend was £22.37. When I get back home the Mapmywalk app tells me that I burnt 338 calories.

7:00pm I put the shopping away and sat down for a second and suddenly it’s 7. I start making the bean pot following a random recipe I found online. Don’t realise until it’s too late that it calls for 50 minutes of simmering time, but that is a fairly typical move for me. Whilst I’m waiting I put some laundry away and have a general tidy up.

9:00pm Dinner is finally ready! I created it as a recipe on Myfitnesspal and it came out as 700 calories per portion. In total today I’ve eaten 1551 calories and burnt 596 through exercise. I eat my dinner whilst watching Lucy Wood’s latest youtube video. Her videos honestly feel like catching up with a friend, even if that does make me sound like an internet weirdo!

9:30pm I put on an ASMR video from TingTing ASMR. The soft whispering and trigger sounds are very relaxing and the best ones make my scalp tingle. I’d jotted down some notes about my day as I went along so I make them into this post. If I hadn’t spent so long making dinner I probably would have watched a Disney film. I’m watching the Disney Classics in order and the next one will be Sleeping Beauty.

10:30pm I’m going to put this post on tumblr then put my laptop and phone away so I don’t get too distracted. I’ll read for about 30 minutes, my current book is ‘Once upon a river’ by Dianne Setterfield. I usually end up going to sleep 11- 11:30pm, ready to do it all again tomorrow!

[gracielapurdie-blog]

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  What're your ideas with regards to Furnace Humidifier?

How One Can Avoid High Heating Repair Bills

There are many ways to maintain your furnace system. Chances are good the system will be running full-time in the winter. furnace systems typically run longer than needed, because of incorrect controls. When troubleshooting and improving the heating segment of your furnace system, there are several areas to examine.

Replace The Air Filter

This is what you usually hear people talking about most frequently, but so few people take the advice and check it. If there is a obstruction, you either run the chance of not disbursing heat appropriately or perhaps igniting a fire.When the filter gets dirty air will not flow through as well which suggests the furnace must work harder and could also mean a likelihood of fire. If the system is not circulating heat efficiently, it will be working overtime. You want eliminate any risk of fire. Neither circumstance is good for your wallet or your peace of mind..

Look At The Blower

Look at your blower blades and clean them up. If you find any build-up of grime and dust, your fan will work harder to blow the air around, and your heating will be overexerting itself. This means the system is over taxed and costing extra money to run.

Check To See That The Fire Damper Works

Be sure to look at your fire damper for correct functioning. The fire damper is self-explanatory so take note of this aspect.

Look For Holes In The Flex Duct

Air ducts get bumped into over the years. If there are obstructions or if the duct has collapsed somewhere the furnace system will think the correct temp has been reached, which will be wrong. When this will happen the furnace works too much to do its job but is going to be unable to reach the desired tempurature.

Band Insulation

It is easy to miss the insulation, but is one of the most typical reason for a system malfunctioning. Take take time to focus on the insulation in between the duct work and the outside to make sure it has not come loose. When this happens furnace will work more than required while attempting to reach optimal temperature.

Air Ducts Need To Be Sealed

See that the ductwork has not become detached from the next section. Disconnected ductwork will permit hot air to escape and naturally increase the running costs.

Return Air Inlets And The Zone Dampers

Be sure that that return air intakes are free of dust and debris so air can easily flow. Examine the zone dampers to see if they are in the correct spot. Through the year we could change the position of the damper for many reasons (i.e. getting into a tight space or making room for storage). For a properly working system, look to see that the dampers are actually in the best place.

If these tasks are more than what you are confident with, it would be wise to hire a local heating company licensed for furnace and gas furnaces. You ought to manage to find a good heating company who will look after this for you. The most sage advice we can provide is to establish annual maintenance for that appliance.

https://www.google.com/maps?cid=3074062878359928777 https://plumber-vancouver-repair-service.business.site/

https://downtown.pioneerplumbing.com/

Pioneer Plumbing & Heating Inc

1101-1202 Harwood St Vancouver BC, V6E 1S3 Phone: (778) 839-2040 Place ID ChIJfSdjui5zhlQRyb_bmeZDqSo

Business Hours: Friday Open 24 hours Saturday Open 24 hours Sunday Open 24 hours Monday Open 24 hours Tuesday Open 24 hours Wednesday Open 24 hours Thursday Open 24 hours

HOW TO LOCATE YOUR FURNACE

DO YOU KNOW HOW TO LOCATE YOUR FURNACE?

Air circulation in your home

If you have central heating, the furnace (also known as an air handler) in your home will heat your air in the winter while the blower motor circulates the air throughout your home. The AC evaporator coils for your air handler remove heat and humidity in summer. After your furnace heats or cools your air, it is then supplied to the duct system and the air begins flowing through your registers.

How many air systems run in your home?

Your thermostat is what sets the temperature in your home for your comfort. The number of thermostat(s) determine how many systems work to regulate your indoor air for heating and cooling.

Improve IAQ with Duct cleaning

Air duct cleaning can help reduce allergies from dust and other pollutants. Pollen, dust, and mold spores can get trapped in your duct work, which means that it's being continuously circulated throughout the air you breathe at home.

According to the U.S. Department of Energy (DOE), 25 to 40 percent of the energy used for heating or cooling a home is wasted. Contaminants in the heating and cooling system cause it to work harder and shorten the life of your system. Although filters are used, the heating and cooling system still gets dirty through normal use.

The National Air Duct Cleaners Association (NADCA) recommends air duct cleaning for improvement of Indoor Air Quality (IAQ). A certified duct cleaning will include cleaning of the furnace, the main trunk line [for air circulation] and all vents (including supplies and returns) each cleaned out individually.

Where is a furnace/air-handler typically located in a home?

Typically your furnace is centrally located in the home. It is usually located in an area such as a utility closet (by a cold air return), garage, attic, basement, or crawlspace; in the case of a heat-pump (a dual-system) it will be located outside of the home. When your system is run with a heat pump, it is likely a typical duct cleaning will include cleaning of evaporator coils with full system cleanings. Your furnace is usually located by other mechanical equipment such as the hot water heater, a [permanently installed] central vacuum cleaner, or a water softener, if this equipment is installed in your home.

https://www.advantaclean.com/blog/2014/november/how-to-locate-your-furnace/

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Air Conditioning Parts and Service my Area in Vancouver

Air Conditioning Parts and Service my Area in Vancouver

What're your opinions on Furnace Installation Near Me?

HOW TO LOCATE YOUR FURNACE

DO YOU KNOW HOW TO LOCATE YOUR FURNACE?

Air circulation in your home

If you have central heating, the furnace (also known as an air handler) in your home will heat your air in the winter while the blower motor circulates the air throughout your home. The AC evaporator coils for your air handler remove heat and humidity in summer. After your furnace heats or cools your air, it is then supplied to the duct system and the air begins flowing through your registers.

How many air systems run in your home?

Your thermostat is what sets the temperature in your home for your comfort. The number of thermostat(s) determine how many systems work to regulate your indoor air for heating and cooling.

Improve IAQ with Duct cleaning

Air duct cleaning can help reduce allergies from dust and other pollutants. Pollen, dust, and mold spores can get trapped in your duct work, which means that it's being continuously circulated throughout the air you breathe at home.

According to the U.S. Department of Energy (DOE), 25 to 40 percent of the energy used for heating or cooling a home is wasted. Contaminants in the heating and cooling system cause it to work harder and shorten the life of your system. Although filters are used, the heating and cooling system still gets dirty through normal use.

The National Air Duct Cleaners Association (NADCA) recommends air duct cleaning for improvement of Indoor Air Quality (IAQ). A certified duct cleaning will include cleaning of the furnace, the main trunk line [for air circulation] and all vents (including supplies and returns) each cleaned out individually.

Where is a furnace/air-handler typically located in a home?

Typically your furnace is centrally located in the home. It is usually located in an area such as a utility closet (by a cold air return), garage, attic, basement, or crawlspace; in the case of a heat-pump (a dual-system) it will be located outside of the home. When your system is run with a heat pump, it is likely a typical duct cleaning will include cleaning of evaporator coils with full system cleanings. Your furnace is usually located by other mechanical equipment such as the hot water heater, a [permanently installed] central vacuum cleaner, or a water softener, if this equipment is installed in your home.

https://www.advantaclean.com/blog/2014/november/how-to-locate-your-furnace/

Pioneer Plumbing has built a reputation of honesty with our long time returning customers. We’ve found that “doing the right thing” in all aspects of our company has brought us to where we are today, and will continue to guide us into the future. Don’t hesitate to call and ask us any plumbing, heating, ventilation, or gas related questions. Chances are if you have a tricky issue, we can solve it.

We have a few goals for our clients. One is to be available for you. It is very uncommon that when you call us we are unable to make it within the same day. We give our repeat customers priority service so if you’ve used us before and you have an emergency, we are going to do what we need to, to get someone there.

Two is to be upfront and honest. From our quotes to our service techs on site, we don’t like to beat around the bush. We will let you know our concerns, our recommendations, and our opinions on how we would handle each situation as if it were our own residence where the problem occurred. We won’t tell you the job is only a 2 hour repair when we have had situations where it turned into an all day repair.

Three is to stand behind our installations and repairs. With mechanical work, it is very common for jobs to get larger or go sideways as you get into them. If we give you a quote we will stand true to the price, if we complete a job for you and you are unhappy with the finished product, we will come back and make it right. In return, all we ask is that you communicate with our office respectfully and honestly so that we can make sure at the end of the day you are happy with our services!

So next time you have a plumbing, heating, cooling, or gas question, repair, or installation you would like quoted, give us a call! Were here to help.

HVAC in Vancouver

  Heating Repair And Seasonal Upkeep Tips

There are a few ways to maintain your furnace system. Odds are, during winter months your heater runs throughout the day attempting to keep the home warm. furnace systems generally run more than needed, because of erroneous controls. There there are various areas in your heating section to take a look at when troubleshooting for performance.

Replace The Air Filter

This is what you typically hear people talking about most often, but so few people take the recommendation and do anything about it. If there is a blockage, you either run the chance of not circulating heat properly or perhaps igniting a fire.When the air conditioner filter gets dirty air will not flow through as well which means the furnace must work overtime and will also mean a risk of fire. When a furnace works too much, it costs more to run. The fire issue is obviously self-explanatory. In both cases it is not good for peace of mind or your funds.

Test The Blower

Look at your blower blades and clean them. A dirty fan will work overtime to blow air around and naturally use higher energy to preserve the thermostat level you choose it at. Therefore the system is overworking and costing extra money to run.

Check To See That The Fire Damper Works

Next, focus on the fire damper to ensure it is running correctly. This will ensure that the risk of fire is lowered and that the system works more proficiently.

Look For Holes In The Flex Duct

Air ducts get bumped into over time. If a duct has flattened or become stopped up, the system will think that the proper temperature has been achieved, which will be false. When this happens the furnace works harder to do its job but is going to be incapable to reach the desired temperature range.

Band Insulation

Insulation is usually overlooked but is among the most regular reasons why an furnace system malfunctions. Take take time to focus on the insulation in between the duct work and the exterior to make sure it has not worked itself loose. If this happens, your equipment will not reach optimal temperatures and work overtime to attempt to accommodate.

Ductwork Needs To Be Connected

See that the ductwork has not become detached from the next section. Disconnected ductwork will allow hot air leak out and of course add to the running costs.

Return Air Inlets And The Zone Dampers

Be sure that that return air intakes are free of the dust and dirt so air can easily flow. Examine the zone dampers to see if they are in the right spot. Throughout the year we could change the position of the damper for a lot of reasons (i.e. getting into a tight space or making room for storage). For a properly working system, check to see that the dampers are actually in the best place.

If this is a tad too much to handle yourself, we propose you hire an area plumbing contractor certified for furnace and heating repair. There will be numerous heating specialists close to you who can care for all of this quite competently. For the right results you could set up annual up-keep for furnace and your heating people will call yearly to deal with it.

https://www.google.com/maps?cid=16109373416364653742 https://vancouver-plumber.business.site/

https://www.pioneerplumbing.com/

Pioneer Plumbing & Heating Inc

626 Kingsway, Vancouver BC, V5T 3K4 Phone: (604) 872-4946

Business Hours: Sunday Open 24 hours Monday Open 24 hours Tuesday Open 24 hours Wednesday Open 24 hours Thursday Open 24 hours Friday Open 24 hours Saturday Open 24 hours

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[spacejew]

oops accidental personal post I guess

It's weird that I almost feel the need to go here to personal blog again because of a handful of irl friends following what was supposed to be a private personal Twitter in theory, just for like, idk, internet strangers and friends I made online not those imported from meatspace. Also those character limits... Suffocating.

Anyways yeah things are kinda stable but dissapointing lifewise? I'm definitely in a rut and stuck somewhere I'm desperately trying to get out of. Also like. idk. Gender shit. I think I really fucked myself over hard when I made the decision a few years back to conviously bottle up all my dysphoria and trans feelings and bury them and repress them hard and just live as a very gay and feminine bi boy and like. hm. I think I've been happy since? But im thinking now that maybe. Because that's still a part of my psyche that haunts me every day. I might actually have been mildly depressed this whole time and like, still struggling to make important life decisions because of the anxiety of that. Idk. Maybe if I got a therapist and realistic attention to that all those years ago and it turned out to be very real n legit and i got to make tough choices and live my truth, I would be equipped now to actually be joyful and able to fully focus on hard work and taking risks and putting myself out there and being successful and shit. Idk idk idk. I just have to wonder if all this time I've actually been quite unhappy and filling the void with dumb shit and a good deal of dissociation and complacency. Idk. what I'm saying is maybe I made a big mistake there lmao and could've started transitioning, if that's right for me, 4-7 years ago maybe, who knows. Haha so fun. Fuck me. Big Regrets, lads. But also I still don't know if that's right. Which probs means it is who am I kidding. Oof. But it's ok life is a journey I'm full of wise shit and I know it's not the end of the world. It just kinda. Makes me so sad on behalf of the old me who would cry so much because of dysphoria and living in this body in this life. She knew. I don't know why I buried her alive like that. Anyways.

I spent all year struggling to make an animated short (which ended up being kinda long tbh like 10 minutes?) by myself mostly, just me and my mental blocks and executive dysfunction and shit, but I was v passionate about it and worked hard and got to actually bring a whole vision to life, with basically nobody to tell me what to do, just give me feedback that I wasn't obligated to follow. It came out pretty nice and I'm very happy that I got to tell exactly the story I wanted and try a cool new look and I just wish I gave myself more time to work on the actual animation part but I put my heart and endless weeks and months of refinement into the storyboarding and script and every little detail and I really feel accomplished and like it paid off -- and I even got to do a private screening at my summer camp job that I was called in to do one more time at the last minute right when I finished my film, it was a miracle and so perfect, everyone cried and truly loved it and felt touched by it. And then I went to animation festivals! And all this cool shit! But... I haven't been able to figure out a public screening thing yet. And I feel like all my excitement is gone now. And I really wanted to polish the look and some backgrounds a little, just some very quick rerendering and comp, but. I feel like too much time has passed, i just feel dissapointed. I haven't put it online yet cause I haven't done my public screening, cause of my stupid anxiety about little details and overall idk imposter syndrome I guwss I feel more ashamed of it than proud of it even tho it's probably good, and like I feel that everyone was excited to support me but probably nobody cares anymore.

Basically I had all the wind taken out of my sails. Oh and right when I was trying to get it off the ground I guess and push through, my grandma died. I'm so heartbroken I loved her so fucking much and. She never got to see the film cause of my stupid bullshit. I feel so bad about that. So so bad. Ugh. And it's a film very very hilariously blatantly directly based on me and my feelings and my real family history, ultimately besides other main themes it's about talking to your grandparents and family about the past and your current feelings. And in it the main character, a girl, cough cough even though it's basically me, cough cough go figure, gender shit, anyways the climax is her going back in time to talk to her great grandma, and it's very emotional and my best friend of like almost 10 years now composed and recording a music for that scene for me. And now when I eventually screen this, my entire family and also myself is gonna get torn to shreds by this scene more than intended because my own fucking grandma, who I was excited to show this film to more than anyone on earth, passed so unexpectedly without seeing it. Fuck. Why didn't I send it to her when she was in the hospital? Obviously cause if I did that that would make it real and she wouldn't get better and all I do is live in denial. Ugh. Anyways yeah. The point is I'm stagnant and in a rut right now and just want to move forward and focus on making new work and just get a real career relevant job already. Tough year hit a well needed high and now petering off back into misery. Not to be dramatic. I'm ok tbh I have a part time I'm slowly getting sick of and a loving supportive partner and some very good friends, tho not as many as I used to see regularly and that's kinda sad too. That's your 20s babey.

I just need to move on and make big changes. My pattern rn is like. Work fri-sun, if I'm lucky I get to hang out with friends or lovers, usually at least with my partner. on monday I recover from working. on tuesday I have dnd and usually get some stuff done but honestly just catch up on warframe with my clan friends. wednesday my partner and I got to the park and library for half the day and eat and draw and talk. on thursday I mentally prepare for work again and usually we go out to play another roleplaying game with her roommates friends. a lot of that free time that's been left unmentioned is spent being over at bae's sometimes so I don't have the ability to get much work done. Lately I've spent most of my time planning a dnd campaign which is fun but also too stressful on account of obviously I'm not playing it yet so like what's the point, sorry friends who have patiently waited for months for me to be ready to start the game for them. And also like. Yeah idk. just sad and confused and resting my weary heart and body after a very rough month after my grandma passed. But! I did accomplish a very crazy deep cleaning of my room. I threw out 14 bags of shit at the least. I wish I weighed it all, it was a lot. I feel so much more organized and cleansed from that. For the record I didn't have any trash in my room, nor was it every a mess. Just every single cabinet and drawer was crammed full of stuff and I guess I hoarded a lot of shit. I was able to throw away a lot of things I held on to be cause of sentimentality and I'm proud of myself for growing that way. So like. Idk. It's not all bad, baby steps. I still feel like I'm constantly improving as a person! I'm positive, optimistic. Just tired, anxious, and feel bad.

Also I finally got a new phone and because of my hubris I dropped it without a case and it shattered only two weeks in. The day I was gonna buy a case. But it's ok. Story of my life I guess. I can't keep everything pristine and polished forever, one day shit falls and breaks but it's still usable. It has character.

I wasn't expecting to dump everything like this, sorry yall. Thanks for reading I guess. Also I forgot how to do a read more on mobile lol sorry

[centralparkpawsblog]

How Long Can a Dog Stay in a Crate

https://www.centralparkpaws.net/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/61PzJzb5hzL.jpg Crate training is essential for both puppies and adult dogs when they first move into their new home.

A crate will provide a place for them to feel secure and keep them safe and out of trouble.

Eventually, when a dog becomes trustworthy, they can be given more freedom.

When Daisy was a puppy, I crated her until she was six months old.

However, most dogs are crate trained until at least 12 months old; it all depends on your dog.

There’s no age limit as to how old your dog should be crated for. However, there are limits for the length of time that you should keep your dog crated.

Every dog is different as to how many hours they can comfortably stay in a crate.

Several factors need to be taken into consideration when determining a healthy amount of time your dog can be left in their kennel.

Considerations to take into account when leaving your dog in its crate include:

Age

Health

Breed

Frequency

Location of crate

tl;dr: Don’t crate a dog for longer than they can hold their bladder!

How Long Can You Keep a Puppy in a Crate?

According to the SPCA of Texas, puppies six months old and younger shouldn’t be crated more than four hours at a time[1].

However, remember all that dogs are different, and some puppies may need to build up to four hours.

When Daisy was a puppy, I was working full-time outside of the home. Because she wasn’t old enough to go to daycare, and I wasn’t close enough to come home over lunch, Daisy would have been in her kennel for at least 9.5 hours a day.

My solution to this problem was to hire a dog walker to come in three days a week and my mom came over two days a week to get Daisy out for lunch and a midday walk.

If you don’t have a family member who can help you out, there are a lot of different dog walking services available.

Professional dog walkers can help get your dog out of the crate for a walk or to play and stretch their legs.

Dog walkers are an excellent solution for getting your puppy out of its kennel halfway through the day.

There are several benefits of your puppy getting out of its crate halfway through your workday:

Exercise – Puppies are essentially fluffy balls of energy on legs.

Bathroom Breaks – Puppies don’t have the same bladder control as an adult dog and this will also aid in housetraining.

Lunch – It is best if puppies have an opportunity to eat 3-4 times a day.

Mental stimulation – As puppies grow physically, they also are developing mentally and require more stimulation than eight hours in a kennel can provide.

QUICK TIP

Have a backup plan.

When I was a sales manager, sometimes unexpected things would come up extending my day. I always had a few people I could call who had access to my home so they could let Daisy out if I were running late.

Even if you have a strict nine to five job, you might get stuck in horrible traffic or have a flat tire.

You may never need to use your backup plan, but if you do, you will be happy you had one in place.

How Long Can You Keep a Senior Dog in a Crate?

Doggy diapers can help if necessary but shouldn’t be considered a full solution

Senior dogs cannot be in their crate as long as they once could.

Most seniors need to go to the bathroom more frequently, whether from incontinence or just age.

Seniors are a lot like puppies this way and can be in their crate for about 4 hours at a time.

Not only do seniors need to use the bathroom more frequently, but some seniors have arthritis[2].

Extended time in a crate can cause your dog’s joints to become too stiff, resulting in an uncomfortable maybe even painful situation for your dog.

A couple of solutions for keeping your senior comfortable:

Bring in a dog sitter to give them some midday relief, either from being cramped or from bladder pressure.

Bring them to daycare. My daycare has special areas for seniors. Some of the seniors are in the office, and the more mobile seniors are in a group for quieter, less active dogs.

Provide them with a bigger crate or dog-proof a room in the house, so they have room to stretch their legs.

Other Considerations

Does the Your Dog’s Breed Matter?

Absolutely, your dog’s breed does matter.

Some dogs are more active, like Border Collies, where other dogs like Great Danes are less active, especially once they grow out of puppyhood.

It is far more difficult for active high energy breeds to be content staying in a kennel for long periods.

A dog’s breed can help determine the duration in which your dog can comfortably stay in its kennel[3].

If you are thinking of getting a dog, this is an essential factor to consider. If you work long hours or have a long commute, finding a less energetic breed would be better.

Even with all the best planning in the world, things change, especially jobs.

I have a friend, Shanna, that has as a Vizsla.

She recently changed jobs resulting in a longer commute and longer hours, so her pup, Jasmine, is stuck in her kennel way too long.

At first, Jasmine was fine, but after about a week, she started to show unfavorable behaviors, such as having accidents in the kennel and shredding her bedding.

Shanna called me, we brainstormed on it for a bit, and here’s what we came up with.

Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, Shanna gets up an hour earlier to get Jasmine out for a long run. Then, the neighbor kid comes over and lets her out midday.

Tuesdays and Thursdays, Jasmine goes to daycare.

Not only did it solve the behavior issues, but Jasmine is pretty tired by the end of each day, especially daycare days.

Not everyone has a neighbor kid that’s able to come over or daycare, but there’s usually always a solution. It just might require a little creativity.

Ultimately, if Shanna still had her Great Dane, Brutus, this change would not have bothered him at all.

Being a Great Dane, Brutus was a very laid-back lazy boy who would have been fine being confined for an extended period.

Does the Location of the Crate Matter?

Pictured: A poor location for your dog’s crate when you’re gone for long periods of time

The location of where your dog is crated during the day does matter.

It is best to keep the crate in a quiet area of your house to keep your dog calm.

Also, be sure to keep the crate out of direct sunlight and away from any drafts. This will prevent your pup from becoming too hot or too cold.

Many people like having the crate in the main living area; however, if you live in a busy neighborhood, the noise from the street could cause your dog to become anxious or frustrated.

The optimal location for a crate is in a darker quiet area.

Usually, the bedroom works perfectly.

The bedroom drapes can be drawn, and a radio can be turned on to drown out noises. The thought is to create a relaxing environment so your dog can rest when you are away.

What’s in the Crate?

What you put in the crate makes a difference.

It is always good to include comfortable bedding that is appropriate for the season.

Also, adding toys and items of comfort like stuffed animals can help your dog relax.

You will need to be sure your dog will not destroy the bedding or toys before leaving them in the kennel with them to ensure they don’t choke or eat things they shouldn’t.

Snacks

When Daisy was a puppy, I would freeze a few Kongs.

Some of the Kongs had peanut butter, and others had canned dog food.

In the morning, before I left, I would put a Kong in the kennel with her.

At lunchtime, when my mom or the sitter would come over, they would use the same Kong, but instead of soft food, they would pop in a hard treat.

I didn’t put a lot of food or PB in the Kong, just enough to give her something to work on in the crate, but not enough that she would need to go to the bathroom or require a drink of water when she was done.

Water

Putting water in a crate isn’t always a good idea.

Free access to water is usually good, but not when your dog doesn’t have free access to the outdoors.

Also, puppies tend to knock over their water bowl, creating a mess and an uncomfortable stay in the crate.

Does the Time of Day Matter?

Photo By: Taro the Shiba Inu (Must have set up a timer) (CC BY 2.0)

Dogs can last in their crate for more extended periods at night unless they are puppies or seniors.

Most adult dogs are comfortable being crated overnight.

Dogs are usually awake off and on during the daytime, making sleeping through the night more comfortable.

However, if your dog is crated all day and not given enough exercise, overnight crating may become an issue.

So… How Long Can You Crate Your Dog?

The short answer is 4 hours for puppies and seniors. For healthy adult dogs, 6-7 consecutive hours a day.

An adult dog can last longer than 6-7 hours a day, but anything longer can become very uncomfortable for your pooch.

If your dog is kenneled for long periods during the day, they may start dreading going into their crate.

Remember, your dog should feel relaxed and safe in their crate.

Final Thoughts

Physically, you can keep a dog in a kennel all day.

However, if you leave your dog in a kennel too long, some dogs may become bored, anxious, and frustrated, which is usually a recipe for destruction.

All dogs require exercise and socialization, but it’s extra important if your dog spends 75% or more of their time crated.

You must count the hours your dog is in its crate and be sure to include your travel time.

For example, when I was working out of the home, I had a 30-minute commute one way in good weather conditions. In Minnesota, that’s only 8 out of 12 months.

Also, I worked eight and a half hours minimum a day, so on good days, Daisy was home 9.5 hours minimum.

Then when you take into the overnight, it was another 8 hours, which is just shy of 75% of a 24-hour day.

I’m not advocating you not crate your dog when you are absent.

But, we must provide enough physical and mental stimulation to ensure we have a happy and healthy pup.

FAQs

Can I Crate My Dog for 12 Hours?

Technically yes, but I wouldn’t recommend it.

It would be best to make arrangements for someone to come over and let them out midway through the day

If you are unable to find someone to help you, you may want to consider dog-proofing a small room in your house to give your dog more space.

If you have a puppy or a senior, 12 hours is way too long for them to be left in a kennel.

Should I Crate My Dog While at Work?

Depends.

If your dog is trustworthy enough to have free run of the house then leave them out.

But if they are still too young or new to your home then it is best to crate them until you are confident they won’t put themselves in danger.

Is It Ok for a Dog to Be in a Crate All Day?

Depends on the age, breed, and health of your dog and how long “all day” is.

Typically, no.

Resources

https://www.spca.org/document.doc?id=126

https://dogtime.com/dog-health/general/687-arthritis-in-dogs-aaha

https://www.caninejournal.com/low-energy-dogs-high-energy-dogs/

The post How Long Can a Dog Stay in a Crate appeared first on Central Park Paws.

from https://www.centralparkpaws.net/dog-training-tips/how-long-dog-stay-crate/

[serahsanguine]

What’s Left Unsaid, Says It All Pt.5

What's Left Unsaid, Says it all part 5/?

Rating; NC-17, NSFW

This Story can be found at  Ao3

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4 

Tagging; @peacenik0  @today-in-fic

p.s. if you would like updates and be tagged please let me know :) 

p.p.s word to the wise this is a really, really long chapter all together this chapter came to 11292 words altogether. which is the longest thing I have ever written.

*********************************************

Chapter 5; Journal.

Notes; This chapter will be journal style (dear diary) layout, but within the moment flashbacks, so we get both sides of the story as well as thoughts and feelings. 

Dear Dairy

                  A week has passed since I got back from the hospital, things have been going well. Missy has been here the whole time, she made my spare bedroom into her own for now and for the foreseeable future. She has got her crystals, her rugs, and plenty of clothes. I think at this point she has more clothes than I do. She’s worried about me, but she needn’t be... I’m fine. I have rested well, she has taken good care of me. When Melissa first proposed the idea of sharing my apartment with her, I thought she was mad, yes we were close as sisters but we hadn't lived together since we were kids, a time when we would fight all time; be under each other feet as they say. I have actually come to enjoy her presence, she makes me feel less lonely. For which I am thankful for, especially with me starting to pull away from Mulder much to both his and Missy dismay. Melissa thinks I should tell him about the twins, but I just simply can’t for my own personal reasons, of which she knows, and also doesn't agree with. I hope Mulder thinks I’m pulling away because I got hurt on a case, well two cases as of this date, he also probably thinks I blame him for my misfortune, how wrong he is about that. I love him so much, for the two little lives that now growing inside me. Not just because of that though but because he courageous, loving, compassionate, humble, and so many more wonderful things. Yes, he can be stubborn and arrogant but that is just who it is it's a part of him nothing more, nothing less and I love him all the same. I can be myself around him, no fear of judgment, or reprieve. He sees me for who I am and not for who I pretend to be. But with all of that said, I have known that what I am doing to him, is going to hurt more than anything he has felt before, including the loss of his little sister. That kind of grief and not knowing, the pain and remorse, that is the kind of pain that’s going to tear him apart. I wish when the time comes he knows how sorry I am and how much pain this is also going to cause me, too. I know he probably won’t ever forgive me but it has to be done.

     Yours faithfully Dana.

　

Dear diary.

       It’s now the end of August and I’m 22 weeks along, a lot has happened in the past three weeks since I last wrote in you. I don’t know where to start, well logically the beginning would help, wouldn’t it?

Week One:

I started back at work, it was a relief and worrisome at the same time, Monday started out of really good, I arrived at work full of joy at finally getting out of that small apartment and back to normality or something close, at least. I walked into the X-Files basement office, somewhat nervously but Mulder looked pleased to see me, and in all honesty... I was starting to miss him, I know I shouldn’t, I know it's wrong. I need to distance myself from him or that is what my rational mind kept telling me at the time. But in that moment my heart won, I enjoyed it and reveled in it for that tiny fleeting second and I was happy with him, to be near him, together... with him. Anyway, I sat down at the desk, we talked about my time off, we laughed at how evidently there were pencils in his ceiling because he was bored. It very quickly became time to get down to the nitty-gritty aspect of our new case, and oh the joy... I’m barely back five minutes and we have another case. I made Mulder laugh with that comment.

I had missed his smile, the way his eyes would light up and instead of a frown line small smile lines would appear on his face, my feelings have become more of a need and showing themselves at the worst possible times, during the day, that I could have those types of feelings. He told me about the case, and how it started out years ago when he worked for the Violent Crimes Section (VCS), Mulder carried on with his story but the main point, I gathered, was that he was young and green, that he had hesitated a minute too long to take the perp out because there were hostages and for this sad mistake on his part the perp, John Barnett was his name, shot two agents because he got trigger happy one day and killed seven people. Mulder told me at the time he didn't need my assistance as he and I both knew I needed to take it easier as suggested by my friend and Doctor, Rachel Richards. And at the time I wanted to protect him and be his partner, that was my job after all, but evidently, he was right. What he neglected to tell me at the time which I found out later is that his old boss said he was coming after him, and that's the real reason he didn't want me there. To protect me.

I spent the rest of the week, mulling over what I had missed when I was at home, taking it easy and relaxing, which wasn’t a lot. I wasn’t really surprised, because he did come and visit me loads when I was at home. The rest of the week passed by uneventfully... Missy cooked, I told her it wasn’t necessary but she kept insisting that just eating junk food every day was not healthy for anyone and I didn't want to hurt the twins.

On Thursday, Mom came to visit... checking up on me (and probably making sure Missy and I hadn't killed each other yet), we sat her down together and told her I had spent time in hospital recently but not the reason behind it or any of the gory details behind the case and left it at that. Missy as per usual made the snide comment that I should tell her and if looks could kill I would most definitely be dead five times over. Mom stayed and cooked us a meal, caught me up on what's been going on at our local Church. Missy wasn’t really interested in Church ever since she became a Wiccan, I didn't really care about her beliefs but I listened anyway. It turned out there was a man that my Mother was trying to set me up with but I very politely declined, telling her I wasn't interested in a relationship right now, that my work was very important to me at this time in my life. It was only a half lie.

By the time I had finally started to feel comfortable in my apartment, doing absolutely nothing but taking care of myself and the twins, it was suddenly Friday. Mulder had just got back from the case and it was getting late, we were both sitting in that little basement office we both had come to feel more at home in, he filled me in on the details of what had transpired and how a female agent, got shot and how John Barnett grabbed another hostage bating Mulder into making another terrible mistake. Barnett had a gun to her head and he watched on as she pleaded for her life, and that's when Mulder told me that he pulled the trigger and explained how Barnett eyes glazed over and he fell slowly to the floor, they rushed him to hospital and all I kept thinking was what if I was that female agent? Would I have survived such an attack? Mulder finished his story and I asked what was going to happen now, he told me about the hospital flying in a surgical specialist to save his life, but he flatlined on the table. He was kind enough to take me home that night and boy, thinking back now that was the wrong move. I knew Missy was at our parent's housekeeping Mom company because she no longer had Dad around. I invited him in and he moved to the couch, again I don’t know what I was thinking, it seems so ludicrous now when I think back on it, iI was meant to be pulling away not inviting him into my apartment... just the two of us, alone. At first we were just talking and thinking about work, throwing ideas and theories about Bigfoot and then he kissed me out of the blue his warm, soft pouty lips touched mine and it felt incredible (I didn't realize how badly I wanted them on me all of the time), so succulent and so luscious and tasting of strawberries and damn I just couldn't help myself, my mind screaming inside my skull to stop... to end it now, before it went too far. I kissed him back our tongues slipped and slid against each exploring each other's mouths, the feeling was unbelievably sensual and it sent desire between my legs. I got caught up in the moment, I suppose. And then he started running his hand down my arm, working the buttons on my shirt but that was when it hit me my brain finally caught up with what was happening and I pulled away so abruptly, how could I let this happen? We shouldn't be doing this! We really shouldn't be doing this! Kept running through my mind over and over again. This had to stop, I had to make it stop right now, before he found out that I was keeping him from his children. I told him, very loudly to get out, go get out and he did, slamming the door behind him. I collapsed onto the couch, in tears, caressing my growing belly and apologizing to the twins.

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Flashback

Mulder was walking to his car after just being thrown out of Scully’s apartment, they weren't really a couple yet but somehow had stumbled into their very first fight (and he didn't know how), the rain falling on his face rivulets dripping from the tip of his nose into the water puddles as he stepped off the concrete curb and onto the gravel road.

His mind revelling in what had just happened between them, as he got into the car watching as the rain hit the windscreen pitter patter against metal and glass like steel drums in an Orchestra, as he stared out and thought to himself...

I kissed her! What the fuck was I thinking? Shit, Shit, Shit... what have I just done? I didn’t mean to, God I'm such an idiot, but Scully was so beautiful. These days she had an undeniable glow about her that I can’t quite put my finger on but the glow suits her so much, I couldn’t help but kiss her. I was caught up in the moment and I thought she wanted it too. I know she did, I could see it in her eyes, those eyes. Damn, she even kissed me back! Her beautiful lips so red and ready for the taking so full and soft her skin beautiful with her freckles poking through her light makeup like little star constellations in the night sky.

She ran her hand through my hair and let me trail my hand up her arm to the crook of her soft, lithe neck. I mean, fuck... she even deepened the kiss, causing me to start undoing the buttons of her shirt, but only because I had missed her so much. SO DAMN MUCH! Her love, compassion and strength.

She kept me where I belong,

I loved her so much, not that I would ever tell her that, she would probably run a mile in a heartbeat if she knew how I really felt about her, and us. And now I know my feelings aren't reciprocated because she pulled away from me and threw me out without a second thought, here I sit now as the fall falls outside the window i can feel the warm tears fall down my cold face. I am such a fucking fool, I pledged to myself to never fall in love with another co-worker again, not after Diana, but I guess history was meant to repeat itself because I find myself loving Scully with everything I have and am and damn it hurts, it hurts so damn much that I can barely keep from losing myself in the darkness. I need to get out of my head... I need a drink, a long hard stiff drink. I need to forget.

I need to stop loving her. I need, I need... fuck what do I need and who am I kidding? You can’t just stop and forget and not love someone like Dana Katherine Scully. She's unforgettable.

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     I instantly rang Missy, I needed her and within thirty minutes she was here for me and the twins. I bet she broke every speed limit to get to me but I know she would do anything for me. She opened the door and ran to me, as she hugged me my knees gave way beneath me and we both crumbled to the floor, I cried for hours in her arms and she let me. It's all a bit of a blur now when I think about it, I remember telling Missy what I had done, through my breathless sobs. I told her that I tried not to love him, tried hating him with every fiber of my being but I just couldn’t do it. How could I possibly hate someone who gave me the most precious gift anybody could offer another person. She sat silently with me, saying nothing but held me as tight as she could without hurting me (and the babies) as I just sat there pressed to her warm chest and cried for hours. When I composed myself and got up, I expected her to shout or scream but she stayed silent, thoughtful even. She must have sensed how much he meant to me and how the next few months were going to affect me. Missy took me to bed, undressed me and she slid into the bed next to me and hugged me like we did when we were kids. She has always had such a soothing presence, and soul. My big sister. I make a note to tell her how much I love her in the morning.

The weekend passed like a blur, I don't really remember much apart from staying in my bedroom and crying more than I thought physically possible. I was a mess but Missy stayed with me through it all, guiding me back to life and keeping me from falling off the edge of a cliff and into a bottomless abyss. It looked so welcoming, I was almost mad at her endless ability to never give up. She has always been the more positive of the whole Scully clan, except maybe for Mom.

Monday:

The start of a new week arrived sooner than expected and I was apprehensive about the day ahead of me. Mulder hadn't called all weekend, I honestly didn't know how I was going to react to him or the way he would react to me, for that matter. To say I was incredibly nervous and ashamed was a gross understatement. When I walked into the office, things were different... there was a tension between the two of us, it was suffocating. Anyone who came down to deliver a file would be able to feel it as soon as the door swung open to let them enter. As the day passed he would talk to me like it was any other normal day in the office but his body language was off, like a man who was confused and conflicted, hurt and broken. Who could blame him for feeling such things? After the way, I treated him last week, when all he wanted was to show me that he cared. The hours ticked by unbelievably slowly only occasionally punctuated by small talk, and I could tell there was a strain on our relationship now, a strain I never wanted but didn't know how to avoid, he was pulling away from me... maybe it for the best, but boy did it hurt. It hurt more than I ever thought it would. It hurt deep down in my soul, and I hoped that the twins couldn't feel it in their warm, cosy home they were building inside my womb.

Tuesday:

Where do I begin? So much happened. I wasn't in the office that morning because I had a doctors appointment, at just over 22 weeks pregnant it was time for the often terrifying anomaly scan. I didn't want there to be anything wrong with my babies, not that I would love them any less if there was. I would always love them more than life itself, regardless. They were my whole world now, and I would do everything in my power to keep them safe.

Missy took me to the appointment; I think she was more excited than I was, I didn't think that was even possible but it was... I was just so nervous about seeing my babies again, seeing their tiny bodies and hearing their heartbeats, not in unison but as a one two count, like the pulse of a planet around its star. It was music to my ears, every single time I heard it. My heart beat furiously in my chest, sweat was forming on the palms of my hands. I think Missy could sense my nervousness and concern for their wellbeing. She looked at me and smiled, reassuringly. I would never be able to repay her for the calmness she brought to our lives during these hard times.

As Rachel called us unto the exam room, Missy grabbed my hand and interlocked our fingers, squeezing gently for reassurance with a small gentle smile on her lips and in that moment, I knew everything was going to be OK. Stepping into the room, I carefully laid on the hospital bed... it was cold and uncomfortable.

Missy sat beside me, while Rachel sat down in her rolling office chair; she already had my medical records on the computer screen and she grabbed some of the jelly, squirting it onto my bare stomach. It was slightly warmer this time but still cold and sticky. I think I would always hate the stuff because it got all over my clean clothes, and increases but let's not go there.

Minutes passed by as Dr Richards probed my abdomen with her wand, searching for the twins. She found my brave, sweet little boy first and made a comment about it still being a little boy which caused all three of us to laugh. It took another twenty minutes for her to do the anomaly scan and as far as she was concerned everything appeared to be A-OK. She found my strong, independent little girl next and again everything checked out just fine.

Rachel hit some kind of button combination on the keyboard in front of her and suddenly the empty room, filled with my little girl's heartbeat, with the perfect rate of a healthy growing baby, it bounced and echoed off of the four walls. Missy eyes went wide and I began to cry immediately. It was a mixture of delight and relief, I worry before every appointment that I won't hear those sounds, hearing it again makes me believe in miracles. It was so beautiful, the feeling of joy overwhelmed me. She moved the wand to the position she knew the little boy was and it looked like he was playing kick about with his slightly bigger sister and we got to hear his heartbeat too, in the quiet empty space between hers. I did worry very briefly about his smaller size, but logically as a Doctor, I knew one twin was almost always bigger than the other, receiving more of the nutrients.

Missy commented that it sounded like water sloshing in a bucket - maybe even alien like, she also said it sounded amazing and pretty cool. At the time the comment made me smile, and laugh but now I think about it just makes me want to cry. If Mulder was there in that room with me it would have been something he had said with a wicked grin and knowing that makes me want to cry for days, maybe even months. I’m starting to question why I am doing this and if I'm doing the right thing, but then one of them would kick or move around inside of me and all of the self-doubts would dissipate in that very instant. They brought me back from the brink more than I care to admit, made me want to be stronger for them and myself.

Wednesday:

It was full of pain and anger. Mulder had gotten called upstairs for a meeting with the FBI higher-ups, apparently, they didn't like how he dealt with the last case, but let's face it... what's new there? They're never happy with our work. It's so frustrating, sometimes. He became snappy towards me after that meeting, like he focused all of his anger, pain, and betrayal on me and only me. By the end of the day I was getting fed up with him, so I started giving as good as I got and after a solid thirty minutes of us bickering back and forth, a strange electric sticky atmosphere starting lingering in the office like a bad smell and then that's where I left it for the day. I was so fed up with Mulder, this mess and life in general. So I went home to soak my horrible day away in the bathtub. Just me, the twins and the smell of jasmine and vanilla candles. Complete silence. It was amazing.

Thursday:

Was unexpected, to say the least, let's just say I need to be more careful now, wait you don't even know what I am on about. Let me explain; I had gone out to lunch because I really needed to get away from Mulder, he was still acting like an ass so I left without so much as a goodbye but what I hadn’t noticed was my ultrasound photo had fallen out of my work bag and was laying on the floor, face up for all too see and ooohhh boy what happened next was… well, I don’t know how to put it. How do you deny the existence of something, when the proof of said something is grasped in your hand?

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Flashback

Mulder was sitting at his desk staring at his blue computer screen, he was meant to be typing up a field report or something along those lines, for a case. Scully had just left, the tension between them amplified by the events of the past couple of days; it was hot, electric, unforgettable and full of sexual tension, pheromones, and raging hormones. He couldn't quite put his finger on it but it was definitely there and it was confusing as hell, given everything that had transpired lately. He spun around on his chair like a kid not being able to focus on anything, trying to clear his head and thinking what he could pass the time doing before Scully got back from her lunch break. As he spun around again, he noticed something shiny catch the corner of his eye, he thought he imagined it so he spun one more time but it was still there. So he stopped spinning not feeling the slightest bit dizzy, he stared at that spot before curiosity got the better of him, stood up quickly and started to walk over to see what this thing was, as he moved closer to it he could tell it was a kind of Polaroid photo or looked about the right shape and size for one at least.

He bent down picking this photo up and staring at with such intensity (his eyes almost hurt), he realised it was an ultrasound photo but he hadn't seen one of them in a very long time, not since his mother and father had shown him of a blurry version of baby Samantha. Running his fingers over the gloss and then the edge of the photo, he realised it was not one but two photos that were folded perfectly flat together. He used his fingertip to pull along the crease unfolding the second, underneath the other, looking at the first photo it was misprinted, missing the name of the mother of who it belonged to. Did they fall out of a file? Mulder wondered and kept reading, the first thing he noticed was a string of numbers of what he assumed with the medical patient ID number, it read 'twin A GA=21w2d'. Mulder read some other information on the grainy images, not really understanding it but the date popped out at him - 21/08/1993 10:53 AM. He looked at the second photo as the information absorbed into his brain, again the first line was missing at the top of the photograph but it read 'twin B GA= 21w2d' the date was the exact same but the timestamp read 11:23 AM. So many thoughts were running through his head. Whose ultrasound photo was this? Is this Scully’s? Wait, she wasn’t here Tuesday morning! Is she pregnant? No, she can’t be she would of told me... wouldn’t she? It can't be possible, we used protection! It can't be ours can it? His mind in overdrive, thoughts piling up like X- File cases on his desk, he stood there just staring at the photos in his hands, losing all track of time, when suddenly Scully walked in.

Scully stood there, staring at the man in front of her with two photos in his hand and all she could think was shit! She stood there, in quiet fear, watching Mulder’s facial expressions changing as his thought process ran through the possibilities over and over again. She had to think quick, needed a way out.. a way to explain herself and the photos.

"Mulder" Scully's voice wavered, very briefly before she steeled herself against his questions and possible accusations.

"I’m sorry, Scully... it's really none of my business"

"It’s not mine" Scully quickly added with determination and authority hoping and praying against everything that Mulder would believe her bold face lies.

"I didn’t think it was, you... you would have told me. I know that" Mulder said, more a statement than anything, and walked over to her, placing the photos in her hands before sitting back down at his desk.

Scully walked over placed the photos in her work bag, sitting opposite him before speaking "It’s my friends, I haven’t seen her in a while and she wanted my medical opinion on the photos you that you just saw, she was checking everything was alright and that the doctors weren't lying to her. I'm sorry if you got scared, unnecessarily"

Mulder took a long pause looking at Scully directly in the eye "Oh, OK... and is it?"

"Yes, everything looks fine"

"So this friend of yours I take it she having twins? That's so huge and amazing!"

"Yes. it is, she's very happy. I'm very happy for her. I don't think she ever thought it was something she would get a chance to do"

"That's great. Do you know if they are identical or fraternal?"

"Identical"

"That's so nice! I'm happy for your friend too, Scully. I don’t quite know how she is going to manage but I imagine that she is strong and capable like you. I don't know if could find the time for kids, especially with work" Mulder said, honesty. It was raw emotion, he didn't usually let this side of him out very often but when he did he meant every word he said and she knew it. It was the final nail in the coffin of her decision to keep this information from him, she didn't need to be told a third time how unprepared or unwilling he was to allow kids into his chaotic life.

"It is nice, marvellous in fact. I’m sure she will be fine, she's strong then she looks. I truly believe that"

"She sounds nice. Is the father involved?"

"No" Scully snapped, not meaning to her emotions just got the better of her in that moment. Mulder gave her a questioning eyebrow and she looked down at her hands. "Sorry, I didn't mean to be so rude about it, it's just very personal to her and not my place, you understand. She's nice... I think you would like her"

"Would I? Does she live in the DC area?"

"No, no actually she flies back home to San Francisco tomorrow. I wish you could of meet her"

"It’s quite alright. Maybe when she brings the little ones for a visit to see their aunt Scully, huh? Shall we get back to work?"

"Maybe. I don't know how likely that is. Yes, please" she looked at him again and started secretly having a conversation with him, but without him even knowing what was really said.

Mulder looked back at the computer screen, he could not stop thinking about those photos he held in his hand. What if they were Scully’s? What if they were his children? Do I even want children right now? He sat there, deep in thought, when the answer finally came; Yes! He would want kids with Scully. The idea of little uber Scully's running around was unbelievably amazing and he would give them everything he never had as a child. All the love in the world if he could, he thought long and hard about it, it was a nice idea but never gonna happen because Scully would never lie to him, right? He pushed all thoughts of family out of his mind.

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      Friday Came and went and the weekend was much the same, nothing important happened. Which leaves me with this past week full of highs and mostly lows, I arrived at work Monday morning, dreading the time spent in that small office. Everything seemed to be going wrong for me that day, my stomach had ballooned overnight it felt like, I wasn't surprised but I was kind of in shock. My work shirt no longer fit properly (the lower buttons refusing to go into their connecting holes), my waistline has also widened considerably and I haven't bought any maternity wear yet. The tight material of my regular clothing wouldn't budge an inch to cover the bump that had started to develop.

I ended up going to work in a black turtleneck sweater and casual black trousers being held up with a hair tie around the button and the buttonhole. Luckily, it was kind of cold that day as autumn was starting to make itself known. On the way to work my car broke down but I managed to phone a repair service who got me started back up and running, of course, that made me two hours late and Mulder was less the impressed.

The day had passed so slowly, with Mulder complaining about everything and anything he could think of, it felt almost intentional. It got to the point that I was ready to cry or throw something at him and tell him to get his damn head out of his ass but I kept quiet. Every now and again I caught him looking at me, with his big hazel eyes (that mysterious mixture of green, blue and brown) at first I saw sadness, hurt and resentment, but I looked deeper and saw something I wasn’t expecting I see... love. I saw a deep-seated and overwhelming heartbreaking kind of love, the kind of love that made me think if I traveled to the other side of the world he would follow me, that if the world was ending he would be by my side (and shit, I actually think I would ask him). The sort of love you only see in movies, because how can something that pure and unaffected exist in the real world? I know from my own personal romantic history, that people usually ruin that kind of connection, either through fear or a misunderstanding.

I got up after I realised this new piece of information, grabbing my bag and running to the nearest restroom. I locked myself inside a cubicle, not caring who was around me and sat down on the toilet seat lid searching and rummaging through my work bag looking for the photos of my babies, tears started streaming down my face stinging my eyes with the pain of them. Why did he have to look at me this way? Why today? I felt like I was drowning unable to stay afloat, the emotion and my damn pregnancy hormones made such an awful combination. Fuck, it was the worst feeling in the world. When I finally pulled myself together and told myself to get a grip, I wiped my eyes and walked out with my head held high, walking back into the X-files office Mulder gave me a small smile but said nothing, so I just sat down and carried on working. I think he could tell I had been crying and didn't want to upset me more, he could always tell when I wasn't in the mood for his jokes or prying questions. It was one of the reasons I loved him, no one else had ever known that well.

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Flashback

Scully had just walked in, I could tell she had been crying. I don't know why or what happened. She's been pulling away from me as of late. She's stopped talking to me confiding in me and just keeping everything bottled up. It fucking hurts. I don't know why she is doing this to herself, or us. I thought we were headed somewhere good, but everything crashed back down to reality... when I tried to kiss her the other night.

I wasn't expecting her to pull away from me, it made me angry and confused initially but I soon came to realise that it hurt so much more than I even dare to admit to myself. I look at her now, sitting in front of me and I can see she is hiding something from me, but there seems something more like it's not just me she is hiding from but is hiding something from herself as well.

I don't know why she is closing herself off like this, were growing apart and it scares me to death. The idea that I could lose the best thing that has happened to me in my miserable life. I wish she would talk to me or at least go back to the way we were. I would take friendly co-workers over a potential ruined relationship, if it meant I could keep her in my life. But something is going to give because at the moment it feels like I am living in my own damnation or possibly it's karma biting me on the ass, maybe I deserve it. I’m going to look away from her and talk about the case, like nothing ever happened. We're good at ignoring the problem at hand.

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Tuesday:

Mulder started speaking to me a little more, though I could tell he was still distancing himself from me. It was hard to deal with but it was for the best and saved me from doing it on my own. It was mutual, like everything we did, even if he had no idea why it was happening.

Wednesday was full of similar cordial but distant FBI partner discussions and work.

After I got home from work that night, something was completely different about the apartment, something I wasn't expecting. Unbeknownst to me at the time, Missy had asked Rachel to come over and surprise me with a little get together to try and cheer me up. It was her only day off and she chose to share it with me, I felt so honoured (we hadn't really spent much time together since left my Medical career behind and joined the FBI three years ago). I told Missy there was no need to do this for me, but as usual she didn't listen and I was thankful for once she knew what I needed, there were two women in my life willing to stand by me, putting a hold on their own lives to pamper me and make sure I wasn't alone in the decision I had made to keep this from Mulder.

Over the next few hours, we just sat around drinking and relaxing on the couch together. It was non-alcoholic, sparkling apple cider for me while Rachel and Missy share a bottle of red merlot between them. We were each wearing a green face mask and casual clothes. I was wearing a new baggy sweater and navy blue leggings, my sister was in her pyjamas and Rachel was wearing some light grey jeans and a yellow and black striped t-shirt.

We laughed and let loose, all needing the release it turned out. I couldn't stop smiling, I felt so loved, wanted and free. One of the twins (I wasn't sure which one but Rachel seems sure it was the girl based on the placement she remembered from the ultrasound footage) kicked that night and I remember grabbing Missy's hand as fast as I could and placing it on my lower abdomen. She had been wanting to feel one of them kick since I told her I was pregnant but kept missing the special moments over the next few weeks. That night she felt it, a full-blown punch and or kick and her face lit up, like a kid in a candy store for the first time. She was ecstatic and witnessing this between my babies and their aunt was the most beautiful thing to see... the joy and pure amazement on Missy's face is something I will never forget and always treasure.

When I woke up Thursday morning I felt rejuvenated, like a new person as they say.

Mulder and I got straight down to business and talked about a new case. I wasn’t very happy about how this information came about. Why? I hear you ask, well because it was from his ‘informant’, whom I have still yet to meet and do not trust.

The case was about a possible encounter between a long haul trucker and a UFO in Tennessee; which could possibly mean flying out of state and I hate flying. It also wasn't going to be a fun trip in my current predicament as my feet would begin to swell and it would be uncomfortable being in such close proximity to Mulder, on a plane where I couldn't escape, he was bound to suspect something.

Today (which is Friday), Mulder and I spent most of the morning putting the final details in place, for example, which motel we were going to stay at, plane tickets and our car rental.

I left early, just after lunchtime because I was feeling noticeably huge and tired.

Missy keeps telling me I'm tiny and that my bump is barely noticeable (that you would actually have to know I was pregnant for your attention to be drawn to my stomach) but I don't believe her, especially looking at myself in a mirror.

She just doesn't understand I suppose, as she isn't the one carrying two little beans inside her like I am.

Mulder also said he had planned this evening which is nice, it would be good for him to get out of that small basement office for a while to meet and socialise with someone other than me.

Missy also went out for the night, meeting up with some friends. She deserves the break for all that she has done for me lately and it means that I get some time alone for a little while, and it also means I can write in you.

I can't tell her how I'm truly feeling about everything right now. I feel like it's something I need to keep to myself until absolutely necessary, otherwise, she will only worry and I don't want to burden her any more than I already have.

      Yours faithfully Dana

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Meanwhile at apartment 42

Friday night

Mulder was sitting on his brown leather sofa watching the ESPN highlights with the volume muted, not really paying attention to the flickering images in front of him.

He was too busy thinking deeply about the fact that he had lied to Scully when he had told her that he was going out with some friends, it was becoming way too easy to lie to her like that easily and the worst bit about it was she believed him.

There was a knock at the door that gently brought him out of his reverie. He walked over and opened his door, not bothering to look who it was, so he was a bit surprised to find a tall red headed woman standing there a little nervous.

"Hi, Fox. Umm… I was in the neighbourhood and thought I would stop by. May I come in? I think we should talk."

"Melissa. Hi. Yeah, of course, you can. Ignore the mess... I wasn't expecting guests. I'm sorry"

"No. I'm sorry for stopping by without warning" Melissa gave Mulder a soft smile as she walked into his apartment, looking around. There were dishes piled up in the sink, the small desk near the window was covered in files and papers as far as the eye could see. There was a small, old TV in front of the brown leather sofa.

She noticed dirty clothes flowing out of the washbasket near the door to the hallway and chuckled to herself when she realised she could definitely tell it was a bachelors apartment, in all honesty, she thought it looked like a frat boys dorm room but made no comment when she sat down on the sofa.

Mulder walked over to where the TV remote was sitting and turned it off before looking over at Melissa and asking "Is it about Scully? Is she alright... has something happened to her?"

"No. Dana’s fine" of course Mulder first thought would be of her sister "She’s just been having trouble since the Willis case. Which I think you would agree is understandable, based on the fact that they were a couple for a while. It's just really shaken her and I don't think she anticipated the feelings it would bring up"

"Yes, I understand. I just hope will she be OK"

"She'll be fine, it’s just going to take her some time. I actually came to see how you were doing after Dana’s hospital stay. You seemed worried"

"I’m fine. It was just a bit of a shock. I know that she's OK now" Mulder said, defensively.

"Fox, please... don't lie to me. I can tell you not fine. Really, how are doing?" stressing the word HOW to try and get her point across to him.

"Melissa I…." Mulder tried to think of something to say, keeping his eyes focused on anything but Melissa in fear of breaking in front of Scully’s sister.

"I’m not going to push but I'm here if you need to talk about it or anything, in fact, I’m here as a friend... there will be no judgment from me, I promise"

"Thank you, Melissa"

"It's my pleasure. Please, call me Missy. We're friends now" she said laughing and giving him a wide, friendly smile.

"OK, Missy. In that case, you can call me Mulder now"

"Nope, not a chance, I like calling you Fox. It is your name after all and I think it suits you" Missy said, still with a smile on her face and trying to keep herself from laughing more.

"Fine" That was it, they both fell into a fit of laughter.

"Oh, I almost forgot. I bought a six pack of beer but left it down in my car in case you weren't in... or would let me in"

"Why wouldn't I let you in? You’re Scully’s sister"

"I just thought... but you're right. I will be back in five minutes, just going to run back down to the car and get them and then we can talk about anything you want" said Missy, as she rushed downstairs to grab the beer from her car.

A couple of hours later, the beer had been consumed. They had split the six bottles, three each. Mulder had down his just a little too quickly, while Missy was making her final bottle last.

Mulder wasn't used to having friends over (usually preferring to drink alone) and it soon became apparent that he did indeed call Missy a friend. They laughed and talked about Scully and her childhood... they talked about everything and anything. He was actually enjoying himself, forgetting at least for a little while about his problems, that was until he let his mind wander back to present day Scully, if she was really OK and why she had been pulling away from him the last few weeks.

"I miss Dana" Mulder blurted out, he was slightly tipsy maybe even full blown drunk at this point and thinking about her, his brain just couldn’t catch up with what he had said.

"I know you do, Fox. I can tell you she misses you too. I hope that helps... a little"

"I know you mean well... but it doesn't. Do YOU know what I've done wrong? What did I do to upset her? Or did I do something that made her angry? I just don’t know why she's pulling away from me now, when everything was going so well between us. I know you say it's the Jack Willis case that is taking a toll on her but it feels like more, like it's me. Like me, existence in her life is the problem. Missy, I need to know... did something else happen? Did I do something? I want to fix it before it's too late"

Shit, thought Missy. She had to be very careful in choosing her words right now, so that she didn't accidentally give anything away but damn this was hard, all she really wanted to do was tell him everything about the twins and about why Dana was closing herself off to him.

Missy knew if she did that Dana might never forgive her. would she do it anyway? Without help. She is, after all, a Scully woman stubborn to the bone.

"You didn’t do anything, I promise. She's just got a lot going on at the moment, has to work through some stuff on her own and then she will be her old self again. Stronger even. She cares about you a lot, don’t ever forget that... OK? Just give her this time"

"I love her," Mulder said, before retreating back into himself and locking his emotions away again.

The room fell silent as the words hung in the air; Missy couldn’t think of anything to say to allay his fears any more than she had. She could see Mulder’s eyes begin to fill with unshed tears. Why did the situation have to be so damn hard on everyone? Why couldn’t Dana just say how she really feels? She thought about what she should say next, or what to do next as she got a little closer to him and gave him a hug, hoping to steer him into a more lightweight conversation, she succeeded and they talked about sport, aliens and even Scully some more; his favourite subject.

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Dear Diary

      I haven’t had time to write in you, during the last couple of weeks. I can't believe it... time has been flying by. I’m now 26 weeks and bigger than ever. I didn’t feel like I needed to write in, to be honest life was good, Mulder and I have been really good or so I thought but I will get to that in a little bit.

We have had a couple of weird cases as of late and with that in mind. I'd like to tell you about some friends of Mulder's I met... the Lone Gunman. What an experience that was!

Their names are Richard ‘Ringo’ Langly, Melvin Frohike, and John Fitzgerald Byers.

Langly is tall with long blonde hair and wore a t-shirt with his favourite band on, The Ramones. Frohike is short with dark hair, personally he gives me the creeps but I think that to do with him having the hots for me, which is a little bit "eww" for my taste and then there is Byers, loves his suits apparently and was also taller than me and had brown hair with a brown goatee beard which I think looks good on him.

I don't think you could find three people more suited to be friends, and friends of Mulder's if I were being completely honest. The fact that they were hackers and had helped Mulder out of sticky situations, it was nice to finally meet them.

Anyway, what you really want to know is... what happened today, right? Oh god, where do I start? So, I was pottering about my apartment doing laundry, cleaning dishes etc.

Missy had gone over to Mom’s again because we both needed a break, we were starting to get underneath each other's skin and feet a little bit. I had just sat down on the sofa wrapped up in a warm, cosy blanket and just about to relax after all the housework I had done when there was a knock at the door. I grunted and muttered some inappropriate language under my breath as I stood up; my back, feet and ankles were swollen and sore.

I really wasn’t in the mood for the company but there I was opening the door anyway, only to find Mulder standing on the other side; in casual jeans, a brown T-shirt and leather jacket, as autumn was upon us I admit it had been getting a little brisk outside.

He looked at me and smiled and that’s when I realised what I was wearing. I stood there in an oversized baggy black sweater and regular grey leggings because even though I was huge, I still wasn't ready to wear maternity clothes while in the comfort of my own home.

I couldn't help but sigh as I let him into my apartment.

He had brought beer and a movie, and make himself at home sitting on my couch without asking me. Not that I would have said no, it was nice to see him.

It was nice. I have to admit that I had missed him a great deal and it actually felt like old times.

Mulder put the movie that he had brought along, into the VHS player and sat back down next to me on the couch, offering me a beer that I politely declined which got me a world famous Fox Mulder raised eyebrow but he didn’t say anything, saving me from having to mention why I wouldn't be drinking tonight, or any other night for a while. I grabbed the nearest pillow to try and help hide my growing belly from him. I decided to sit close to him but far enough away that he couldn't touch me, much to his obvious disappointment.

An hour disappeared without my even noticing it, the alcohol flowed freely... at least, on Mulder’s part anyway. He finally looked relaxed in my company, I was equally as relaxed to be around him again and making comments about the film he had chosen for us to watch. Ironically, Mulder had picked 'Aliens' which in our line of work made me laugh out loud. He knew I hadn’t seen it, and yes I have seen the first one but not Aliens, or Alien 3.

I had made a promise a couple of months back, to watch it with him and tonight I made good on that promise. Mulder kept looking at me in a certain way, like he wanted to say something or something was weighing heavily on his mind but he didn’t know how to bring it up without ruining our night, which was going well up to this point, thankfully.

It was starting to make me uneasy. We were enjoying ourselves, I thought. But I could tell something was coming like an oncoming storm, questions that I didn’t have the answers for... not right now and I didn't want to get into another fight. Not tonight.

Another hour and a half went by and the credits started rolling their way down the TV screen. Mulder lent forward grabbing the remote from between us on the couch and putting the TV on mute. He looked directly at me and said that the only thing they got right about the aliens was their colour which made me chuckle softly.

He looked at me again and smiled, causing my sweet innocent chuckle to turn into a deep, from the bottom of my stomach laugh and then his smile turned serious and that was when it all went wrong. So wrong!

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Flashback

Mulder looked directly at Scully, big blue eyes studying her pale complexion. He had been wanting to ask her a few questions all night but couldn't think of the right way to ask them. They were delicate and ran the risk of upsetting her even more than he knew she was. He took a nervous swig from his bottle of beer, hoping for some liquid courage after the turmoil his mind had been putting him through, thinking it best to just come out, ask and hope against everything that he got the truth and some answers he was looking for, from her tonight.

"Scully..."

The way Mulder said her name made her heart jump, her nerves kick in and the blood rush to her brain in the anticipation of what as going to happen next. She knew it was coming but she wasn’t ready, would she ever be ready? All the lies had been piling up over the last few months, and the idea of explaining it all now filled her with the level of stress she didn't know was possible.

"What changed?" whispered Mulder, still looking deeply into her eyes.

Fuck, Fuck, Fuck Scully thought, but said "What do you mean Mulder?"

"Don’t play coy with me, Scully. Let me be more clear, what happened between us? We were happy, we were spending nearly every waking moment together and then one day we weren't. I want to know why? What happened? What could I of possibly done to deserve this from up? Tell me... Please"

"Well, I don't know what to say... a lot has happened recently, and that case with my ex really affected me. Honestly, it made me reevaluate things" Scully offered him, at least she wasn’t completely lying to him now.

"So everyone keeps telling me. I just don't believe it... it feels like more than that. Like I'm responsible for, at the very least, a portion of the reason you've pulled away from me" Mulder muttered underneath his breath "Reevaluate what, Scully? Us? Your job? What?"

"Life, Mulder. The unnecessary danger I put myself in everyday... I don't want to be killed. There are things I want to do with my life" Scully said, it was the honest truth.

"That doesn't really explain why you stopped talking to me... don't you think I would understand if you wanted to avoid dangerous fieldwork? I don't want you to be hurt because of me, you should know that by now" he looked at her, starting to see the water brimming in the corners of her eyes "At some point... we stopped being friends, you stopped confiding in me, and now you won’t let me touch you. I'd like to know why. In the past month you have changed in so many ways; the clothes you wear, the way you act at work, the way you respond to me. It scares me. Scully, please, just tell me why"

Scully looked at him, deep into his hazel eyes that portrayed so much raw emotion, he was hurting more than she thought and quite possibly maybe more than she was. She hated what she was about to do and for once she was absolutely certain he would hate her too.

"We were never friends, Mulder! Not even lovers, it was just a fling and I'm sorry you thought it was more but it never was. We're just two people who work together, OK? I haven’t changed, you're just seeing the real me. I told you when we first met, in that dingy bar that I didn’t want a relationship and I still don’t. It was just easy sex, for me. Do you understand now? Just sex, nothing more" she replied, the matter of factly and without a shred of emotion. It was so ice cold, she scared herself. She figured that if she said it in such a way, Mulder would have no choice but to believe her.

"You're lying, Scully! Not just to me, but to yourself. Why would you say that? How could you use me, after everything I told you. After everything we have shared about our lives," Mulder was red-faced and angry, his fingers clenched into a fist on his right hand and nails digging into the palm.

"I was sent to spy on you, and that’s what I did Mulder. I spied and fucked you, to get close to you and learn more... and reported back to them. Like I was always supposed too. You never knew me!"

Mulder couldn’t take it anymore, he grabbed the back of her neck and brought his lips to hers and kissed her, roughly. Scully put both of her hands on his chest, pushing back against his force and slapped him as hard she could, the sound of it ricocheted around the silent room.

"Ha! I knew it... God, I knew it. I mean a lot more to you than just a "work colleague". I see the way you look at me... with love and adoration. You can't fake that, Scully, as much as you might pretend you can... you fucking can't! You love me, and I think you should start being honest with yourself about the way you feel, before it's too late to do anything about it... before I'm no longer here to do anything about it. Do you really want to risk me not being here, when you finally come to your senses?" Mulder was practically shouting at her now, his anger being expressed more freely and uncontrollably than it had been given the chance to lately, mind racing and heart pumping.

"Get the fuck out now! I am done with you and your bullshit, Mulder! You don't know me or what I want in my life. Leave me home, immediately and don't ever call me again or stop by unannounced" Scully screamed, at the top of her lungs not caring about the neighbours anymore, she was so incredibly angry at him. How dare he say these things to her! Mostly, she was angry with herself though. She had made such a mess of her life and the very idea that he wouldn't be there when she got her shit together infuriated her, so she used all that pain and anger to make him leave.

Mulder stood up, grabbed his coat and opened the front door of her apartment "See you Monday!" he threw over his shoulder at her and then slammed the door closed.

Scully struggled to get up from the couch and walked over to the door, knowing Missy wasn’t going to back that night and locked it. She was about to go back to the sofa when her knees gave out and she fell to the floor, her back flat against the door, elbows on her knees and hands cupping her face as she cried for everything she had done to him and everything she was going to do, before finally whispering "I love you" into the empty room.

Unbeknownst to Scully, Mulder had not walked directly to the elevator, he had also fallen to his knees with his back flush against the other side of the door, tears streaming down his face and collecting into puddles on his lap.

It was late and he knew nobody would be around and he whispered ‘I love you’ into the poorly lit and empty hallway. He loved her so damn much, every waking moment was spent thinking about her, the way her body would react when they were in the same room. The electricity between them. He couldn’t be the only one to feel it, could he? Why would she do and say these things to him? How could she do this? Why does it feel like his glass heart had just been shattered into a thousand million piece? How could he fall in love so deeply, with everything he had and be told it was a mistake on his part? Damn her, damn the relationship! He got up and walked to his car, muttering something about needing another drink, a stronger one and just drove, ignoring the speed he was driving at.

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        So, that’s when I decided I needed to write in you. I’ve been a fool, thinking I could be his friend and work colleague, his feelings run deep as do mine. I know I have hurt him, beyond repair lately but he hurt me more than words can express tonight so I hurt him back just as hard, just like children fighting on a playground, scoring points. I just wish we had said something different instead of arguing, that he didn't bring it up all, when he knew it would only make things worse between us. Skinner approved my ‘Vacation’ time, without prying into why I wanted it now, which means I won’t be seeing him Monday morning. Fuck, I love Fox Mulder. I do. Everything he said was true, I shouldn't have expected less from a man who desires the truth from everyone he meets. I cannot believe the things I said to him tonight. I didn’t mean them. I hate myself for saying such things but it worked, he left and won’t be coming back anytime soon. I hope! Actually, that's another lie... I'm terrified he won't ever come back to me, that I've ruined the only good thing that's ever happened to me. Here I sit alone, like I thought I wanted, but I wasn't really alone, I had my babies... my last link to Mulder. Both of them were kicking and punching my insides, at least they weren't going to leave me, the thought of making me laugh. But I know the reason they're kicking so violently, they are protesting what I have just don't to there father. Even in utero, I can tell they love him. Irony of it all is... I’m doing it from them. I will always put them first. Nothing will be placed above them, not even my love for Mulder.

Yours faithfully Dana

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Dear Diary

This will be the last entry for a while, and all I’m going to say is... it's done!

Yours Faithfully Dana

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Apartment 42; realtime

　

Mulder was way past worried at this point, because he hadn't seen or heard from Scully in almost three weeks, and was staring down a nervous breakdown over her absence in his life.

Not since they erupted at each other in her living room that fateful weekend. Maybe he was stupid to expect to see her Monday at work like everything was still normal and they hadn't said horrible things to each other but what he didn’t know at the time was Skinner had approved four weeks vacation time for her.

He knew that she was angry at him but didn't think she wouldn't call or email in that time frame. It just wasn’t like Scully. Regardless, of how their relationship was at any time, she would always let him know she was fine. That fact alone was troubling him.

So, after he had woken up from yet another night terror(something that had disappeared from his life since meeting Scully) he decided to go visit her and apologize, to grovel at her feet if necessary, to tell her how he really feels about her and prays she feels the same way too. He couldn’t lose her not now, he couldn't go back to his dark, lonely existence. It would destroy him.

He poured himself a mug of coffee and sat at his tiny kitchen table watching the sun come over the horizon filling his living room with light and thought long and hard about the different ways he could say I’m sorry. After a minute he found one that felt right on his tongue and didn't leave a bitter after taste, he quickly got changed into some sweatpants, a cream and brown shirt and slid his cold black leather jacket along his arms.

Grabbing his keys, gun, and badge and quickly slipping his feet into his sneakers, still thinking about Scully, and then went down to his car got in and drove straight to her apartment complex.

Twenty minutes later he had parked and was staring up at her bay window but made sure he was out of sight, in case she decided to look out of her window at that unfortunate moment, still debating on what to say and what he should do. Now he was doubting if he should do this at all, so he sat there for another ten minutes before saying to himself "it’s now or never"

Mulder stepped out of his car looking around at the scenery before him, the trees looked bare and were covered in small water drops and he could smell the rain from the night before, puddles reflecting the morning light bouncing across the windows of the surrounding environment, the air was brisk and cold as he held is jacket against his chest as not to let any wind onto his chest. He put one foot in front of the other until he reached Scully’s door, knocking once and waited; there was no reply, so he knocked again and still nothing and he couldn't make out any sounds. It was silent on the other side, causing a bad feeling deep within, so he went to find the landlord expecting to have to show his badge to him but the poor old man actually remembered him from all of the times he had slept over at Scully’s apartment, handing the key to Mulder without a word. He walked back up to her apartment, putting the key in the door and unlocking it... what he saw next, wasn’t something he was expecting and it shocked him to his very core, brought tears to his eyes. Mulder walked into Scully's apartment finding it bare and Barron and he fell to his knees crying, the last thing on his lips was her name.

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also tagging some friends, @invisigoth-1013 @viceversawrites