#cause i havent been able to stop thinking about it all day long

[rainbowcolored7]

Let me paint you a picture. It's a normal day, you're hanging out with friends, wandering around downtown, killing time before you go to see Jeff Satur live in concert. You're in a little indoor outdoor shopping mall, there's a bunch of stalls with cute anime knickknacks that you want but can't afford.

Suddenly, you realize it's getting really late because the shopkeepers are closing up, the lights in the mall are starting to turn off. Shit! You're gonna be late and miss the concert! You rush through town, taking back ways, running like your life depends on it cause let's be real this is Jeff live and it kind of does.

You get to the venue. It's too late. They won't let you in. Well, better luck next time, right? You gather your friends and decide to go see the new MileApo movie and you're in luck there's a showing starting soon. So, you get to the theatre, grab your seats, and try to focus on which screen is best because there are like eight of them all around you for some reason. You find this only mildly strange.

The movie starts and oh thank goodness there are subtitles, but thankfully you understand what's being said and don't really need them most of the time. Great! The scene is set, the movie kicks off in a cute little cafe in a fishing town that is situated upon a tall, mountainous island. You're so excited you can barely contain your enthusiasm, but your friend who is now your mother keeps asking where Mile and Apo are? You shrug, maybe they don't show up for a bit? You enjoy the movie for a while, not really sure what's going on with the characters you've been introduced to so far, but they all seem to be secretly struggling with one thing, but nobody will talk about it. Not even you know what it is.

Then! Oh! That was Apo quickly going up those stairs around the corner! You point and shout his name loudly, thankfully nobody in the theater seems to care. They all seem just as excited as you, a few even clap. Unfortunately he's gone again for a little while longer, and still no Mile. You start to get a little worried their names were only put into the movie to get more people to show, and the plot isn't exactly progressing quickly. You're getting a little bored, but you have faith.

Scene change! Finally! Apo appears fully on the screen, he's absolutely adorable! He's just waking up, yawning, stretching, and crawling out of bed. He's dressed in an all red, silky looking, kimono. He starts singing, dancing around a little as he gets ready for his day. He's talking to someone you can't see yet about the little fishing town, about solving their problem (of which you still have no clue about). Grinning widely, he dons a full on monkey mask headdress and turns, arms open wide, to the person he was talking to. It's Mile!!! Apo is the Monkey King! Mile is his advisor, you think?

Together, they head off to the town to help the people. Thank goodness, maybe you'll finally find out what everyone has been freaking out about. Apo is an amazing Monkey King, he's just the absolute most, you're beyond delighted by his performance. Mile seems very normal, not at all like an advisor, his character remains rather quiet and subdued most of the time, giving small advices to the Monkey King here and there. They climb to the very top of the mountain with the characters you've come to know from the town. At the very top, it appears the mountain isnt just any old mountain, it's a volcano! A volcano that is filled nearly to the top with water, reaching deep deep down into the sea.

Everyone starts gearing up with breathing masks, climbing gear, long ropes attached to a pulley system. There aren't enough breathing masks for everyone, so they're gonna have to take turns. The Monkey King perches on the edge of the volcano and announces he will watch over everyone, while Mile announces he will go down with each new group for protection. Still nobody has explained what's going on or why!!! Honestly, you're concerned for Mile's wellbeing because he doesn't actually seem to have any special powers like Apo the Monkey King does.

Slowly, the first group begins their descent. You watch them go, deeper and deeper. Your heartrate picks up, there's a rumble from down below, bursts of bubbles rise. The group has gone so deep, and yet there's still so far to go. They're running out of air already and have to go back, this isn't going to work. They reach the top and inform the Monkey King what happened, there's no point in switching out groups, they won't make it down far enough. You begin to see where this might be going with the whole "secret problem" if the rumbles were anything to go by.

Apo jumps up, fists on his waist, legs spread, wonder woman stance! Understood town folk, I will complete this task for you! Please evacuate the island as soon as possible! Apo the Monkey King leaps into the water, swimming down so fast he's like a speeding rocket. He gets to the bottom and there it is, a HUGE angler fish, long sharp teeth bared and ready to strike. It takes up the entire screen! Apo is so small, how will he ever defeat this monster?!

The Monkey King dances on the nose of the monster angler fish, taunting it, beating it's antennae with his stick and it starts to rise. Higher and higher it climbs, the walls of the volcano vibrate and begin to crumble. You're terrified the cute little fishing town is going to be buried beneath the battle!

The angler monster and the Monkey King burst through the top, spewing out with buckets of water like an erupting volcano. Apo the Monkey King leaps off the monster's nose, swings his stick in slow motion, and whacks the angler in the side so hard it flies off and explodes! There's gore and guts everywhere. You sigh in relief, you think it's over, but the rumbles and shaking haven't stopped, the walls of the mountain are still crumbling. Everyone is leaving the town, it's only Mile and Apo left. They stand next to each other, grasping hands, and the scene ends.

The vibe is calm, you have no idea what happened to the town, but Mile and Apo don't seem concerned, so you trust that things ended up okay in the end. The screen blips a few times, growing blurry and static, and then you see Mile crouched on his heels on the floor of their dark wooden home. Only he doesn't look like Mile anymore. He's taken his true form. Glowing and neon blue, there sits the old sage Monkey King, tired and weary. The day cost him a lot of magic. Removing his headdress, Apo bounces over, hugs and kisses him, then bounds into the next room.

That, apparently, just won't do. Renewed by Apo's love and energy, Mile transforms back into his human form, sans all his clothes except for his tight black briefs, and begins to writhe on the floor like a cat in heat, doing the splits and presenting his ass in the air, calling for Apo to come back.

Apo won't, giggling from the other room. So, in nothing but his little black underwear and, oh, a sudden pair of black high heels, Mile struts down the hall into the room and out of sight.

You just wanted to go to a Jeff Satur concert.

You wake up.

[flamingoofeathers]

𝗔 𝗣𝗜𝗥𝗔𝗧𝗘’𝗦 𝗦𝗘𝗖𝗥𝗘𝗧 || 𝗝. 𝗛𝗢𝗢𝗞

pairings: james hook x mermaid!reader

part 2 -> VK GONE SOFT || J.HOOK

summary: the times that hook came to see you and the time he didn’t. A forbidden love between a royal and a rebel, a pirate and a mermaid.

one shot; wc: 1.8k

genre: angst, fluff

main masterlist j.hook masterlist

a/n: you can imagine the reader as young Ariel or the daughter of Ariel, it doesnt really change much.

James tried to be as subtle as he can, cautiously looking around incase any one of the vk's were to see him, he wouldn't want to imagine what would happen. Dont get him wrong, he doesn't care about what anyone thinks, but this is his friends, the VK'S, dangerous people, that would hurt anyone who gets in their way.

Finally reaching the woods far behind Merlin Academy, he walked calmly through the forest, whistling as he neared the enchanted lake. No one comes to the lake during the week, since it's quite far from campus, but it would be filled with student wanting to take a swim during the weekends.

His chest filled with glee when he heard the splashing of water, grinning to himself, as he rushed to get to the lake faster.

When he arrived, the view he saw made all his problems go away, there she was, in all her glory, swimming around, humming a song.

The girl didn’t noticed him arrive, too busy in her own world to hear the sound of his chained boots.

He walked closer to the water, leaning into it "Hello there, my Princess" he said in a low voice, reaching his right hand towards the startled girl "James! You came!" The girl cheerfully said before swimming towards her beloved pirate.

Now face to face, Hook carefully touched her chin before leaning in, giving her a tender kiss.

Pulling away, hook asked "i hope you havent been waiting long for me" as he stood up, carefully taking off his clothes, leaving only his boxer before diving into the water.

"I haven’t, dont worry, at least you're here now" y/n replied as she hugged her lover.

"Good. Bridget pissed Uliana off again and it took a lot longer than expected to calm her down" Hook said hugging her back, thinking about Uliana was starting to stress him out again and his girlfriend noticed it.

"Well, dont think about her now, think about me instead" she said flirtingly, causing the boy to chuckle before kissing her again.

Y/n didnt like Uliana at all, while she wasn't a target of her bullying, she felt really bad for poor Bridget, who just wanted to be friends with her, but instead get made fun of. Other than that, she didnt like the fact that she always stresses her boyfriend out.

The sun was already setting when the couple got out of water and put their clothes back on.

They layed on the ground cuddled up, y/n leaning on James chest as they watched the sunset.

"You think we'll be able to date freely, one day James?"

"One day, we will."

The next time Hook was about to sneak away to meet his lovely mermaid, he got stopped by Maleficent.

"Mali- hi! Why arent you with Hades?" Hook chuckled nervously.

"Drop the act, Hook." Maleficent sneered.

"Wat are you talking about?" Hook was getting more nervous by the second.

"I know you're off to meet that little mermaid of yours, you're not slick" she scoffed.

"I have no idea what you're talking about"

"Im not dumb, i see you staring at her every time she's around." she scoffed.

"I-"

"-and i'm not the only one who noticed, Uliana is getting more suspicious every day, i suggest you stop seeing her, James, just for a little while." Maleficent said, her voice getting softer the more she observes her friend.

If Hook was nervous then, he was panicking now.

"What? No- i cant possibly-" Hook stumbled upon his words.

"James, i have no problem with you seeing her, if you're happy with her then I'm happy for you, but you know how Uliana is, she finds out and she'll make her life a living hell before she makes yours one too. It's just until Uliana stops suspecting" Maleficent pats his back before leaving him alone.

Hooks stands at the exit of the Academy as he stared in the air, conflicted.

Y/n was getting worried, its been hours since she and Hook was supposed to meet, she's been out of the water since well before, just sitting down, staring into the forest, wondering if maybe Hook was just a late, bc of Uliana again, but as the sky got darker, there was still no sign of him.

Disappointed, she started her way back to the Academy.

The next day, during her free period, she roamed the halls of the school, in search of James, knowing he skips almost all of his classes. They barely ever meet within school grounds, too scared to be seen by others.

She stops as she notice a hooked figure sat against one of the trees in the courtyard, happy, y/n walked closer as she yelled "james! Where were you-" she stopped herself when her dear boyfriend, saw her and instead of greeting her, he rushed away from her.

Weeks goes by and everyday, y/n slowly lost hope for them. Everytime she tried to talk to him and waited for him, her heart broke a little bit more.

As Bridget sang around the courtyard, giving out cupcakes along with the two new kids, Chloe and Red, she sat on a bench melancholically.

"What?" The girl watched with a broken heart as James disappear from her view.

As the VK's made their entrance, y/n stared at her boyfriend, well ex-boyfriend now, she assumes, with longing eyes.

On the other hand, Hook was trying not to look at her, afraid he might break and rush to her.

As Uliana chased Bridget and Ella out the courtyard with everyone else following, he hesitated, finally staring at his beloved mermaid, making eye contact with her after so long.

He watched as y/n stood up and started approaching him.

They stood face to face with each other, not saying anything.

"I- i'm so sor-" Hook raised his hands to cup her face when a familiar loud grunt was heard.

"you need to go, please." Hook managed to push her away before Uliana and the vk's saw her.

"SHE'LL PAY FOR THIS" was the last thing y/n heard before she left.

The night of Castlecoming arrived and y/n didnt even want to go, but the dress she bought for this night was too expensive for her to not come. It was a dark red color to match Hook's suit for the night, it was supposed to be a surprise for him, her wearing his favorite color, but right now she regretted it.

She walked past happy students chatting about how excited they were, she wanted to roll her eyes at them, but she knew she was just bitter so she just sighed.

She didnt know what to do, she just stood there in the middle of the crowd not engaging with anyone, until Bridget came with Ella and greeted her.

"Y/N! Did you go with somrone?" Bridget said very happily, and hugged her, as if they were close, but she knew that was just how Bridget is.

"Oh! Hi, Bridget! Hi, Ella! And uh, no, no one asked me to be their date so im free for the night" y/n said, trying to hide the disappointment, but failed as Bridget noticed her expression.

"Oh...it's alright y/n, no one asked me too, i came here with Ella, you should hang with us" Bridget offered as Ella nodded her head.

"Oh no no, i wouldn't want to impose"

"You won't be, you'd make this night more bearable for me, trust me" Ella said jokingly making the other two laugh.

"Ask her to dance later" Maleficent whispered to him.

The three chatted for the whole night, y/n had fun just chatting with them, not even noticing a certain hooked man entering and staring at her from across the dance floor.

"What?" Hook asked confused.

"Ask her to dance later, dont worry about it" Maleficent smiled.

"What about-" Hook started.

"We'll take care of Uliana" she winked.

"We?"

"Yeah, 𝘸𝘦" Maleficent nodded her head towards Hades and Morgie, who nodded back at him with knowing smirks.

Hooks smiled back at them "Thanks, Mali"

As the night comes to its end, a final dance is presented to the students.

Hook went back to staring at the mermaid girl, with a new found feeling.

The dancefloor got cleared, only Charming, the crowned prince, remained as a slow song starts playing.

𝘚𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦

Everyone waited expectantly for him to approach someone.

Charming approached the three girls. Bridget and Y/n pushing Ella towards the prince.

𝘴𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘦

𝘐'𝘮 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘨𝘭𝘰𝘸, 𝘮𝘮

"Ella, may i have this dance"

𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘪 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸

Y/n looked at the newly formed couple in the middle of the dance floor with so much happines yet envy. As she stared at them, she noticed a pair of eyes staring at her from across the dance floor.

"Yes" Ella said as charming lead her in the middle of the dance floor.

𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘬𝘦𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘦

It was as if the world stopped and it was just the two of them

All Hook could think was how beautiful she was, in that dress, in his favorite color.

Maleficent noticed his stare "go" she whispered.

Hook looked at her and she smiled at him, before turning back to the others.

"This is so boring, Uli, lets just go before i die of boredom" Maleficent groaned.

"Exactly, i wanna rip my ears out, this song is awful" Hades complained as he wraps his arms around Maleficent

"Yeah, Uli, i thought this was gonna be fun but it's just torture" Morgie whined.

"You're right." Uliana rolled her eyes before she turned away and went for the exit not caring who follows her.

"Go get her" Hades patted his back before leaving with the others.

No one else went to the dance floor, all endeared by the unexpected pair, thats why everyone gasped when the one and only James Hook, invaded the dance floor but his eyes was only set on one person, his beloved.

Y/n stared as Hook approached her.

The two stared at each other.

𝘪'𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘬𝘺

"May i have this dance, my love?" Hook asked in a soft voice.

Y/n just stared at him with an open mouth, before Bridget nudge her.

"Yes." She let out a breathe.

Hook beamed as he kissed her hand before leading her to the dance floor.

The two stared at each other with so much love and longing.

𝘴𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘭𝘦

"I love you, y/n l/n" Hook whispered.

"I love you too, James Hook" y/n said back with no hesitation, before they share their first kiss in front of everyone.

𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪'𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘧

They didn't care when everyone gasped at the even more unexpected pair, all they cared was they were finally in each others arms again.

There's still so much they need to talk about, but that can wait for tomorrow, tonight is for them.

"So...this is love"

James said as he stared at her.

[satoruhour]

oh my god, i dont know if you write for this specifically (feel free to disregard if you don’t), but I’ve been thinking about satosugu x reader,,, imagine kissing the both of them!! spending a nice summer day with them!! just being able to enjoy spending time with the two of them!! I dont know if its my love for both of these characters and their relationship, but i just like thinking abt that dynamic,,,

a/n: wrote this yesterday to upload today since it was a loaded day today ❤️ enjoy. hope it’s up to standard cause i havent written fluff in a long time! / 1.3k, poly!satosugu x reader

sleep-ins were popular amongst the three of you. before you, suguru had his own routine of waking up early to brew some tea for himself, to get the laundry going . .

satoru, on his own, was a light sleeper, sitting straight up at any hint of sound due to his sorcerer duties but after moving in with geto, he’s been letting the long-haired man to do all the work.

and here came you, waltzing back into their lives (and apartment) after teaching at kyoto for just a few months until you couldn’t stand gakuganji and headed right back to your alma mater.

it wasn’t difficult to maintain the dynamic the three of you had from your school days, except maybe unspoken feelings and lingering glances until the two men were gassing each other up to ask you.

you’re not even sure how you even got roped in — old feelings, a crave for the younger days, the allure of satoru, the wonder of suguru — but now you’re stick in between both of them wanting to pee so badly.

alas, your body is trapped under gojo’s protective leg and geto’s gentler wrapped arm, but you still feel your bladder about to burst, trying one last time until your body is slammed back into bed.

“hm . . what’re you doing?” is gojo’s first raspy call out to you as he curls his calf around you even more, and you sigh, turning to him to brush his fringe from his face.

“i need to pee, satoru.”

“no.” and you roll your eyes because he’s always whiny like that and you’d usually employ suguru to do your bidding but he’s fast asleep, still. this was another thing: both you and gojo have inextricably fucked with his routine because now he’s more inclined to sleep in than drink his morning tea. he realised this one day when he was doing laundry, in the afternoon.

“’toru, pleeaasee?” you pout even if he can’t see and like a good boyfriend, he senses your features pulled into a face specifically meant to make him feel bad, and cracks his eyes open.

“oh, youuuu—” gojo scrunches up his eyes and squeezes, and then steals you from geto’s arm, trapping you with tight arms wound around your middle, “stop it with the eyes!”

you giggle, using your free hands to relax the tightness in his brows, using that opportunity to forcibly open his eyes and then you hit him again — knitted eyebrows and doe eyes, and a perfect pout that has gojo grumbling under his breath. silently, you wiggle yourself just enough to reach his face so you can place a peck on his lips and he hums.

another, his eyes say and you indulge him, sinking into his embrace and letting him guide you back to his mouth. morning breath is nothing to the both of you, grinning into the kiss when satoru loses himself and his embrace starts to loosen. the kiss still holds you captive, though, the other moaning softly when you deepen it with some tongue.

“you’re just going to leave me hangin’?” geto’s voice calls out from beside you, and gojo’s excited suguru! gives you just that sliver of time to slip away from the two as they catch up but—

“you’re not going anywhere, missus,” gojo pulls on your arm and you’re falling back into your space in the middle of the both of them, greeted with geto’s lovely laugh and his gentle gaze.

“good morning my loves,” he says, arm draped over the both of you before he leans down to give you a kiss while gojo replies with a good morning as well, also giving a peck to your temple. “what’s on the agenda today?”

“lazing in—”

“i need to pee, firstly,” you pipe up, cutting gojo off and patting his puffed out cheeks. grabbing his face, you wiggle his head just to emphasise your point, “your man here has been preventing me from going to the bathroom.”

“ahem! our man,” gojo corrects, sticking his tongue out just enough to lick your hand and you shriek in disgust while his giggles only fill the room.

“satoru, c’mon, let her go.” and again, the other only cuddles you closer to him, long, lanky limbs trapping your body. geto has a hand on yours like he’s trying his best to console you.

“but— she’s so much nicer to cuddle! did i ever tell you suguru once hit me in the face with his arm?”

and you laugh while the other only sighs and chaos erupts once he stands up and says in faux disappointment — “okay, i’m making breakfast for myself only. guess i lost two partners today.”

“hello?! i didn’t even do anything!” you shout in incredulity, words muffled once gojo slaps a hand over your mouth and laughs, watching through the bathroom mirror at how he chuckles at the both of you. you lick gojo’s hand and he moans obnoxiously.

geto did end up making the both of you some breakfast after some convincing (it was mostly gojo yelling “pleasepleaseplease” in the bathroom and interrupting brushing teeth time), but he’s got around it with a sloppy kiss given to the both of you, sat at the wooden table you commissioned — large enough to bring friends over but small enough for it to feel intimate with your two boyfriends.

“on the real agenda, we need to go for some grocery shopping,” geto suggests, reaching diagonally to you to wipe off the bits of strawberry lingering at the corner of your lips and gojo shouts a loud oh!, running from the table to grab his phone that he’s left on the bedside table. naturally, he has become so enamoured with the both of you that he doesn’t even need his phone to entertain him that much.

“i made the list like you asked, sugu,” and you’re giggling when you see his eyebrow raise, positive that on the list, there was more of what the house didn’t need than what it did.

silently, you’re helping to clear all three of your plates that had coatings of maple syrup on it, apart from gojo’s who licked his squeaky clean. a smile spreads across your face when you hear them bicker, a common occurrence.

“baby, there’s more candy than actual groceries on here.”

“but suguruuuu . .” gojo pulls this all the time and it hardly works on geto any more, so the both of them invade your cleaning escapades to argue. like the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other, satoru sucks up to your boyfriend, suguru appeals to you.

“should we listen to him?” leaning against the counter, geto rests his arm around your torso, sidling right up to your face who only gives him a small grin.

gojo follows suit. “sweetness, don’t listen to him. you know you love the sweets i buy, i’ll even buy you your favourite brand!”

here in this kitchen in the house that gojo had no problem expanding to accommodate the both of you were all that you know in this mess of a world, destined to exorcise curses for as long as you live, but it wasn’t so bad when you had the strongest duo beside you, talking over each other on whether meiji chocolate was more important than buying celery for tonight’s dinner. 

“boys.” turning off the tap, you shake off the water and turn around in their arms only to see what had escalated: geto ready to summon a curse, gojo crossing his fingers in his muryōkūsho pose, all the while keeping an arm around you like everything’s fine. and as chaotic dating the both of them were, you don’t mind putting both their hands down and calming the situation down.

with a laugh, you give one kiss to both cheeks. “let’s just buy both, okay?”

and satoru leaps to hug you, planting endless kisses on your face while suguru sighs, then smiles, defeated. “plus, we can just make ’toru pay for everything, can’t we?”

“and then make him cook tonight.” you suggest, not-so-quietly.

gojo stops, “hey!”

i didnt write the grocery shopping part since i alr rambled off about it here but maybe next time we’ll see :)

[dfortrafalgar]

Hiii! I'm so happy you are taking requests! I love the way you write, everything feels so real! I'm loving ILY and it's a bittersweet feeling now that it is ending (I'm the anon that commented early on saying that it was so relatable because I also had a miscarriage at 6 weeks). Thank you for that fic 🥰🤗

Now, my requests, if you choose to take it! I would love a jealous/protective Law X fem reader. I was thinking, no established relationship but some flirting going on, perhaps. Could be SFW or NSFW, it's up to you! I would just really loooooove some protective Law! I'm also obsessed with his hands so you can do whatever with that 😂

Did I mention that I love your writting? I did? I'll do it again. Thank you for sharing your gift! ❤️

I'm in annon but you can call me R.J. 😋😎

AAA HELLO R.J im so happy to hear from you again!!!!! no lie ive been thinking about you every day, your first message during my story was so amazingly sweet and touching and i havent been able to stop thinking about it, im so happy that you loved the end of the fic and to hear that you're doing well!!! <333

i ended up projecting a bit in this fic... and it ended up being a bit more Protective Law rather than Jealous Law, but i hope you like it all the same! i also juggled on nsfw, but decided that sfw worked better for this specific plot, so i hope that's alright!!!

thank you so much for requesting!!!! 💗❤️💓💕

Decontaminate the Heart

Law x Fem Reader

Your feelings toward Law had gone from a reasonable level of respect to a deep infatuation that you were readily keeping hidden. An unfortunate encounter with a predatory shopkeep might be what unravels your feelings... and the feelings of your captain.

Warnings: some descriptions of gross behavior from a stranger, light fluff, pre-relationship vibes, protective law but also struggling-to-accept-his-feelings awkward law

Law wasn’t fond of the word ‘jealous.’  After all, he was a seasoned veteran in the long game of Keeping All Human Emotions Bottled Up Inside So That You Don’t Show Weakness To Those Who Might Be Out To Hurt You.  He had become a pro at it, too.  After all, putting a word to an undefined emotion only validated that feeling, which was exactly the opposite of what Law needed.  Mouth constantly downturned in a pensive frown, steely, cold eyes shutting down all encounters with those he deemed unfamiliar or even the slightest bit threatening, holding even his closest friends at arm’s length on good days.  If he wasn’t the strong-willed, feared captain of the Heart Pirates, a man with a three billion beri bounty on his head, then who was he?

The answer is: a loser.  He was a loser.  Especially after he brought you on board his crew as a boatswain.  That day, he unwillingly began the downward spiral that would transform into his emotional demise.  A psychic catastrophe.  An inner turmoil of the highest degree.

Ikkaku called it infatuation.  Bepo called it love.  The rest of his raunchy, stifled male crew called it being horny.

Whatever it was, it had Law in a steel trap, never letting go.

And on a particularly warm, sunny day, docked cliffside on an island with idyllic spring weather, his steel trap was donned in a flowy sundress that complimented her entire outward appearance in a way he didn’t think was humanly possible.  When she first greeted Law before they departed the Polar Tang, she had bent down slightly, holding her hands together in front of her and pushing her biceps together just enough that her cleavage was on center stage for just a brief moment.  She had giggled at the way Law’s face flushed with a crimson hue.  Unprovoked… but not necessarily unappreciated.

Days for leisure were hard to come by as a pirate, so the crew was sure to take full advantage of the opportunities that crossed your path.  The pirates were given the freedom to roam to their heart’s content, so long as they didn’t cause trouble.  “Stress-free activities are crucial to maintaining good cardiac health,” Law would say.  But everyone knew he enjoyed some sparring days off just as much as any average bloke.

Especially when those days off were spent in your company.

“Thank you for coming with me, Captain!” you quipped, your voice cheerful as you walked beside him, a small paper bag clutched in your hand, containing a small product you had just purchased from one of the local shops.  The entire crew had shed their usual boiler suits for the day in exchange for more casual attire, you taking the opportunity to don the sundress that you had purchased a few months ago with Ikkaku.  “I’m always happy when you take days off to get out of that stuffy office of your’s.”

Law fought tooth and nail to keep the pleased smirk that twitched his lips from showing on his face.  He already needed to duel with his wandering eyes which kept itching to gaze at the way your breasts fit into the bodice of your light, flowy gown.  “Of course, it’s nice to get out sometimes.”  ‘With you,’ he added in his head before quickly balling up the thought into a crumpled mess and chucking it into a garbage pail.  The worst part about all of this, unrelated to walking side-by-side with you (which was the complete opposite of a bad thing), was the fact that he was pressured to leave Kikoku behind on the Polar Tang.  He felt naked without his sword perched on his right shoulder.

Your eyes were eagerly glancing between the storefronts that surrounded you on both sides, happy townspeople window shopping with their families and loved ones, partaking in the outdoor food markets, and spending quality time in the sun.  The domestic bliss of days like this always made your soul feel lighter, your footsteps almost floating off the ground.  A few couples passed by, their hands intertwined and souls combining with bliss, a sight that made Law’s own fingers twitch with the deep-seeded need to grasp your hand.  Every once in a while, your own fingers would tingle with the desire to reach out for him as well.

He wouldn’t hold your hand because of affection, Law told himself.  It was just to make sure other people knew you were off limits.

Was that because of affection?  Was he even entitled to such a thought?  

He stifled a frustrated groan.  “Are you looking for something?” he asked curiously, picking up on the way your gleaming eyes darted to and fro.

“There was a shop I read about in the latest paper that I could have sworn was on this island…” you muttered, bringing your free hand up to nervously stroke the skin of your cheek.  After a few more moments, your face lit up as your eyes landed on a shop tucked away between two larger markets, almost completely hidden from public view.  “Found it!”

Law’s heart almost leapt out of his throat when you subconsciously snatched his hand, yanking him out of the flow of people on the street and towards the storefront.  His stern golden eyes flashed up towards the sign above the front door.

‘WILD BILL’S PAWN SHOP’

“You read about this somewhere?” he asked, his voice revealing a level of skepticism as you stopped in front of the front door.  A dingy, beat-up ‘OPEN’ sign carved into a plank of birch wood and hanging from a rusty chain was flipped outward toward the street, beckoning townsfolk inside to peruse whatever wares were contained within the unassuming wooden shack.

You excitedly nodded.  “Yup, I was looking for places that might sell rare coins.”

Law’s breath caught in his throat.  “But you don’t collect coins.”

“I was looking for you!” you called out, flashing him a smile that could have easily put him in an early grave.  So much for being conscious of his heart health.  With the way his organ was hammering behind his sternum, he had half a mind to be worried about spontaneous cardiac arrest.

Instead of responding, all he could muster was a quiet, pensive, “Hmm.”

You finally released his hand (his palm felt so cold now), and pushed open the thin wooden door to enter the shop.  An obnoxious, ear-piercing bell chimed above the hinges, alerting any other shoppers or employees of your entrance.  Law always hated gimmicks like that, they were a pirate’s worst nightmare.  Instantly, the smell of centuries old dust and mildew flooded Law’s nose, making him suppress a sneeze into the collar of his shirt.  He was about to make a snide remark about being susceptible to allergens, but kept his lips sealed when an amused giggle emitted from your lips at the way his face contorted with mild disgust.

He blindly followed you to the back of the store, past dusty shelves containing books from all walks of life, old technology that Law had never even seen before, and antiques from across the globe.  Your expression remained one of wonder as you passed by each new item, gazing fondly at some of the more sentimental goods- boxes of old postcards, old newspapers from decades prior, wanted posters for pirates long deceased.  For such a ratty-looking establishment, the variety of wares this ‘Wild Bill’ had on hand was quite impressive.  In the very back of the store, a long glass case spanning almost the entire length of the wall was situated, separating a back room from the rest of the establishment.  There was a small space to walk around behind the case in between the wall, where small sliding doors were built in to allow someone to remove the wares kept safe inside.

Law’s eyes finally lit up in wonder.

A plethora of fine metalwork was kept in the special enclosure, jewelry with the finest minerals and perfectly sculpted details in precious velvet boxes, metal treasures surely passed down through generations of wealth, and in the nearest corner, an assortment of collectable, commemorative coins from across the world.  You smiled to yourself as Law drifted toward the coins, crouching down on his calves to more closely inspect what the shop had to offer.

He was so adorable.

“Can I help you folks with anything?” a voice from behind you asked, startling you from your affectionate daze.

A larger, older man emerged from behind one of the tall bookshelves, his hands in his pockets.  He was dressed surprisingly gaudy, a bright purple overcoat that traveled past his rump covering a sky-blue button-up shirt and a polka dot bowtie.  His belly was quite large, a curled handlebar mustache perched atop his upper lip.  He looked wildly out of place in such a modest, dusty shop.  Must be Wild Bill.

You flashed a cordial smile.  “Just looking around!”

The sound of your talking alerted Law, who stayed crouched in front of the coin collection but tossed accusatory glares over his shoulder, assessing the man’s interactions with you under an analytical gaze.  Out of instinct, as a pirate.  As a captain.  Nothing more… probably.

“Well, let me know if you need help finding anything!” the man hollered, his receding hairline making the dim light of the nearby lamps reflect off his oily skin.  He stepped behind the glass containers with a small huff and disappeared into the back room, a curtain swooping closed behind him.

With the outrageous stranger gone, Law resumed looking over the fine details of each coin housed within their own individual boxes, while you approached the other end of the glass case and examined the jewelry.

Your eyes darted excitedly between pieces.  Delicate rings with rare gemstones sat perfectly in their boxes, some dated as old as centuries ago.  A bracelet that was assembled with the finest minerals, gleaming brightly through the dim atmosphere of the shop.  As your eyes continued to dart from one object to the next, you finally found yourself entranced by one thing in particular.  It was a necklace, more of a choker than a longer-hanging piece, with a small purple amethyst mounted elegantly in the center of a silver pendant.  The complimentary silver chain seemed to be fairly heavy duty just as it was delicate enough to still be an elegant accessory.  You felt a smile pull at your lips.  You doubted you had enough beri to afford it, but you’d be damned if you couldn’t at least try it on.

Wild Bill once again appeared from behind the curtain after a few moments, placing a few items on top of the counter to be placed inside the glass enclosure.  Law watched as the old man’s gaze turned to you as you bent over, tucking your dress behind your knees to crouch down and get a closer look at the amethyst necklace.

“Anything caught your eye, missy?” Bill asked, his voice far too loud for such a small shop as he leaned over the top of the counter and gazed through the transparent surface at the pieces you were admiring.  A seemingly friendly smile adorned his pudgy face.

You enthusiastically nodded.  “Yes, actually, can I try on this necklace?”  Your finger pointed through the protective barrier toward your interest.  “The one with the small amethyst pendant.”

Law kept watching your interaction out of the corner of his eye.

“Of course, of course!” boomed Bill, bending over and sliding the door of the case open to remove the necklace, holding it by the chain in his large, burly hand.  

Without being asked, he stepped out from behind the counter and approached you from behind, unclasping the chain and looping it around your neck.  Law watched, his leg muscles tensing as you visibly stiffened at the proximity of the man as he clasped the chain together around your neck.  He pulled over a small standing mirror to have you admire the piece that sat elegantly between your collarbones.  Your fingers ghosted over the gemstone embedded in the fine silver, a small smile ghosting over your lips.

“It looks absolutely beautiful,” you whispered.

Bill stepped closer, almost pinning you from behind against the counter.  His large hands rested against the glass case, caging you in.  “It does… fitting for a beautiful woman such as yourself.”

The air went ice cold as Law watched the man’s hand wander upward, trailing across your forearm and up toward your bicep, across your shoulder and to your neck.  Your face had quickly contorted into an expression of terror, having been caged against the counter all of a sudden against your will, being caressed by this stranger.  Law felt frozen.  His brain was screaming at him to move, to do something, to get you out of this shop as soon as possible.  But he couldn’t move.  Why couldn’t he move?

“I’m sorry, I think I’m going to pass, actually,” you uttered, trying to push yourself away from him.  Your voice had quickly grown shaky, apprehensive.

“No, no, it really does suit you!” Bill murmured, his head angling downward, predatory eyes gazing over the soft skin of your neck.  The way he kept you pinned against the counter prevented you from moving away from him.  His belly was almost pushed flush against your back, making your hands tremble in fear.

“ROOM.”

A flash of blue light engulfed the surrounding area.  You immediately breathed a sigh of mild relief.  A static sensation permeated the space around you, making goosebumps rise across your skin and the hair on the back of your neck stand on end.  Just as soon as the bubble surrounded you, the predatory man was replaced with your captain standing protectively behind you, his lean hand on your shoulder to keep you steady.

Now he’d done it.

“You’re…” Bill stammered, his own hands shaking with realization.  “I’ve seen that ability, you’re… you’re…!”

Law didn’t give him time to fully realize who’s identity he was dealing with before his hand was in yours, forcefully dragging you out of the shop, harshly pushing between narrow shelves of delicate antiques until the two of you burst back out into the sunlight.  Law didn’t let up his pace, your feet barely keeping you steady as you ran.  Onlookers stepped back, shocked gasps and wide eyes following the two of you in your mad scramble back to the cliff where the submarine was kept concealed.  He just needed to get you some place secure.  Somewhere where you could wash away the phantom grime of the hands that had just touched you.

What a bad day to leave his sword behind.

The two of you had just barely made it past the outskirts of the port town when you tripped, slamming into Law’s backside and falling to your knees with a pained grunt.  The shoes you were wearing definitely weren’t built for mad sprints through a town.

“Shit…” Law grumbled, crouching down in front of you.  “Are you alright?”

Your hands were still shaking, anxiously palming the dirt and grass beneath your fingers as your lungs heaved, desperate to catch up on the oxygen you lost in your frantic sprint.  Small tears brimmed in the corners of your eyes, but you were quick to blink them away.  Your heart was pounding madly in your chest, your brain a fuzzy mess of scrambled, panicked thoughts that couldn’t make sense in any order.  Law was so close to you, so close you could almost smell the mild soap he used in the shower.  Something woody.  Mellow.  So very him.  You wanted to hug him.  The stress of the sudden incident was rapidly catching up to you.

Instead, the only thing you managed to do was blurt out an awkward, weary, “Thank you.”

Law wordlessly helped you to your feet, walking you back to the Polar Tang.  His mouth was drawn in that pensive line once more.

—

It took a few hours for you to register the fact that you had sprinted out of the pawn shop with the necklace still clasped around your neck.  When you took it off, you held it gently in your hands, gazing at the way the brilliant purple gem was nestled perfectly in the metal sculpted around it.  But the fingerprints around the chain from the predatory man who groped you left a phantom burning pain on your skin.  You still loved the piece, you truly did, and you wished you could wear it, but you felt violated.  There was no denying it.

You needed to scrub it clean.  You needed to scrub your own body clean, it seemed.

Law was in the medical bay when you carefully knocked on the door, hoping that no one was in there with him.  The tired sounding, ‘Come in,’ granted you permission to gently push the heavy hatch door open, stepping into the dim lighting and closing the entrance behind you.

Your captain was in the midst of re-organizing the entire medicine cabinet, floor to ceiling.  He did it when he was stressed.

“Yeah?” was all he asked when you entered, barely looking away from his obsessive work while you stood awkwardly in the doorway, holding your necklace in your cupped hands like it was a suspicious specimen to be brought to a lab.

“I know this is a weird request, but can you disinfect this?” you asked.

You held up the necklace by the very end of the chain, dangling it in the air away from you.  Law finally turned his attention toward you, an eyebrow raised.

“Why?”  He sounded genuinely oblivious to why you would ask for such a favor.

You rocked back and forth on your heels.  “It still feels like it has the fingerprints of that guy.  From the shop,” you clarified.  When you said it out loud, you grimaced at how childish you sounded, but at the same time, you felt your concerns, your insecurities over what had transpired, were justified.

You were violated.  Case closed.

It seemed Law picked up on that as well.  As much as he struggled to put himself in other peoples’ shoes, he could see the anxious look in your eyes that told him everything he needed to know- you wanted to wash away all traces of the man who burst your personal bubble in one of the worst ways imaginable.

Law felt a searing jealousy in his chest, the sudden reminder of the way your face contorted in utter horror as you were touched.

Your captain wordlessly stepped forward and gently took the chain from your fingers.  You watched him silently as he stepped back toward the counter, rummaging through the supplies he had laid out mid-organizing before procuring an opaque bottle of rubbing alcohol and filling a small container about halfway with the solution before submerging your necklace inside.  He capped the bottle and placed it back where he found it, amongst his other disinfectant chemicals.

“We’ll let that sit for a few minutes,” he suggested.  “In the meantime, I have these wet napkins you can use to clean your neck, if you want.”

He took the words right out of your head, as if he could read your mind.  You gratefully accepted the small container of alcohol wipes, starting with your neck and rubbing the cold solution down your collarbones, chest, and arms.  You didn’t care if it would dry out your skin later, the feeling of wiping away that man’s fingerprints in some capacity was more freeing than anything else in the world.

Law simply watched, glancing away from you every once in a while when you turned at an angle that would let you see him staring wanton daggers in your direction.  He shouldn’t be watching you scrub yourself down while fully clothed, if anything that could also be a violation of your unspoken privacy.

After what felt like hours, you finally disposed of the wipes in the nearby waste receptacle while Law fished out your necklace with a gloved hand, placing it on a dry cloth and carefully removing all the liquid from the surface of the metal.

He started speaking without thinking.  “Silver and amethyst are sturdy materials that can be placed in rubbing alcohol for disinfecting,” he stated.  “If this was some other weaker gem, like an emerald, it wouldn’t be so easy.”

You grinned, stepping closer as he polished the chain.  His hand that wasn’t gloved carefully moved along the cloth, outlining the shape of the necklace folded under it in precise, delicate motions.

Goodness, you loved his hands.

“So you’re as good with rocks and minerals as you are with health science?” you asked, a small, playful smirk on your lips.

Law’s own mouth twitched upward.  “I suppose so.”  He gently unfolded the cloth and removed the necklace.  “There, all clean.”

You grinned appreciatively, turning around and brushing away any obstacles in the way of your neck.

He stared at you from behind your back.  “... What are you doing?” he asked dumbly.

You tossed a glance over your shoulder.  “Waiting for you to put it on.”

Law chewed on the inside of his cheek.  “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” you confirmed.  “I trust you.”

What you didn’t say was just how much you trusted him.  You would willingly lay down your life for your captain, the love for him, both as a person and as a pirate, greatly surpassing that of a captain and his subordinate.  Sometimes, well, most of the time, you desperately hoped that he felt the same way.

After understanding your request, Law stepped toward you slightly, one hand still gloved as he looped the necklace around the front of your neck, bringing both ends of the chain around the back to clasp at the base of your spine.  His deft, inked fingers left scorching hot trails in their wake, your skin craving his touch.  The complete opposite of your counter in the pawn shop.

Once secured, you turned around to face him, a pleased smile on your face as your fingers once again ghosted over the delicate, purple mineral embedded into the pendant.  “How does it look?”

Law prayed that the blush on his cheeks wasn’t noticeable through the dim lighting on the medical bay.  He would put necklaces on your soft skin every day if you’d let him.

Oh, how he wished you’d let him.

“It looks great…” he mumbled, his voice soft and apprehensive.  “It suits you.”

His voice, the anxious tilt of his eyebrows, spoke volumes to you as your smile grew wider.  “Hey, Law?”

He turned his attention back to you, his lips pressed firmly together.

“Thank you for protecting me back there,” you sighed.  Your voice had gone quiet, but the look on your face was indebted.

“Of course,” he whispered back.  His mouth opened, then closed, then opened again, his brain clearly struggling to say the words he so desperately wanted to say.

The sight had you suppressing a giggle as you stepped forward, fighting back your reservations as you wrapped your arms around his torso in a hug, dropping your head into the crook of his shoulder and inhaling that scent that was oh-so familiar to you.  Disinfectant and oil, so clearly from living life on the Polar Tang, but also so distinctly him.

You loved it.

You were starting to come to the conclusion that you really loved him.

And with the way Law’s arms slowly wrapped around your own body, the hands you loved so much resting between your shoulder blades and the lowest point of your back, you started to wonder if he secretly, deep down in that weary heart of his, felt the same way about you.

[frecklystars]

I'm sorry to make a vent post :c I hate being negative but I haven't been online in a couple of months and this kind of explains why + I really needed to let this out somewhere. TW for mentions of self harm and suicide mention, this vent post is a little bit heavy.

i havent been online for a couple of months now except one (1) time, and then i left again, just letting my queue post as always. my cptsd/depression/anxiety has been astronomical levels of Terrible. going offline just made me feel so so so much worse bc this is where i normally self ship and post my art. not blogging about my F/Os, not drawing them, not editing videos/not making gifs, feels... really really bad. self shipping is my main coping mechanism and not being able to self ship makes everything feel 50 billion times more hopeless. so I should try to get back into that habit again

its july. its gonna be my anniversary w/ the two F/Os who breathed life back into me when i was at my absolute worst. i should be really excited to celebrate an F/O anniversary for the first time in two years, but ive been... so... fucking miserable. the last few months i have been back into My Worst State Of Mind Ever. i have been having really bad days where im slipping back into planning how to end my life and self harming again like i did a year ago. this isnt an everyday occurrence as of right now, and rn as im queueing this post, i am not planning currently. but every other day i slip back into those old self destructive bad habits, so it's safe to say my depression is definitely Worse. im trying to figure out how to uh, hang in there. because i can't stop the source of the Thing that is causing me to feel like my only escape option is ending my life. this isn't just my mental health/a chemical imbalance in the brain making me feel this way, this is entirely situational and out of my control.

i know the source of my problem and why i feel this way, and i cannot control it. i havent talked about it on my blogs bc i dont wanna scare anyone, and i will NOT go into details here, but i havent felt safe in a very very very long time. i contacted the authorities back in January this year, i am planning to contact them again soon, but im afraid they can't do anything for me until things get worse than they already are. it sucks that you have to wait until things are literally impossible to get through until the authorities even CONSIDER helping you.

i have just been trying to take everything one day at a time and vent to a few close friends when i need to, but this has been so unbearably difficult to endure every single day. ive been dealing with this FAR longer than a few months, but regarding these last few months specifically, i feel like i haven't been functioning like a person. every single second i am just,,, scared and paranoid, this is the only thing i am ever thinking about because im so, so stressed. i dont WANT to think about it but i literally am incapable of having any peace. every few weeks, something scary regarding my situation happens, and makes my anxiety worse. i cannot tell you how scared ive been. im so scared every day that this is going to kill me, whether it's the actual situation that will kill me, or my own anxiety/fear will drive me into making an irreversible choice. which! i don't wanna do! i genuinely don't want to end my life, i just - i feel extremely trapped in this situation and i've felt very very very hopeless about it for a LONG ass time, and that shit weighs on you over time

my fear/paranoia has affected my self shipping, and self shipping is my main source of comfort, i cant lose it. i keep losing it. ive lost so much already i dont want to lose my F/Os all over again. i keep thinking there’s no point in self shipping because my F/Os would betray me or harm me in some way. i know they’re imaginary and they can’t hurt me IRL but like, from a self shipping standpoint, i can’t stop fretting over all of it being a huge trick. like they’re pretending to love me so they can betray me later. i can’t get any relief, I am having panic attacks all the time, my flashbacks are worse than ever. I can’t self ship and I can’t... function. i'm so messed up from everything that has been happening to me, i feel like healing is impossible at this point. i really hope that is just the severe anxiety/depression/ptsd talking. i hate being negative, i dont want to have such a pessimistic outlook, but it's just felt so... hopeless. like there is no point. but what am i gonna do, not try to feel things with my F/Os again? what am i gonna do, not self ship ever again?? i really have nothing else to do except try my best every day to get through this. or kill myself - and i dont wanna go down that latter road again bc its messy and it sucks and its expensive when you fail and i have permanent scars from the last time i failed two years ago, and i! want! to! get better! i dont genuinely want to die, i just want to escape my situation! this situation i am in should not be worth ending my life over. but i am scared all the time and that hopeless feeling is so heavy and it's just getting harder and harder to carry for so so so so long

i have friends both IRL and online who are trying to help me get back into a safe situation again, but there is only so much we can all do. so i just have to keep taking all of this shit one day at a time and just hope and pray some sort of miracle gets me through this. its been years so i really dont believe theres a way out anymore but i am just! agh!! fucking angry and sad and terrified 24/7 and sick of dealing with this, so i will keep powering through every day even if i gotta kick and scream the entire time.

ok anyway! im gonna stay offline for a little while longer (this is queued, if anyone is kind enough to reply/send an ask, i will try to respond when i return) but i will come back slowly but surely sometime maybe this week, next week at the latest. i at least want to celebrate my July 21st anniversary :( thats my most important one this year. i really really really need to get back into the habit of self shipping even if i dont feel much for my F/Os atm. i refuse to just lay down and take this, i want to at least try to feel something again even if it hurts.

thank you to those who have been patient with me with replies; tumblr says i have over 200 inbox messages and 99+ dms since ive been gone. i will try to get back to people slowly but surely, its just probably gonna take me a hot minute. if anyone has the free minute, if you can just send me something like "everything will be okay" in my inbox, i would super appreciate it 😭🙏 and thank you to anyone who took the time to read my ramblings.

[ahaura]

tmi warning u have been warned tmi

trying not to post about it but i feel like im slowly losing it ive been bleeding since jan 30 and its not stopping i cant get up and walk around for more than a few minutes ive had to cancel my therapy appointment i havent been able to leave the house bec theres just no way to do it theres nothing my parents or i can do until i go to the doctor on thursday and every day i think about going to the emergency room or urgent care because why the fuck is my period lasting almost 4 weeks but i dont want to be turned away or mocked for taking it seriously or just told "lose weight" bec i did look it up and obesity is 1 of the causes of v long periods apparently but im just so freaked out and havent been sleeping regularly its affecting my day to day and i do things on the pc and talk to friends (i love u heath and nina forever and ever) which helps stay sane but im just so. scared and angry and im TIRED of it like this isnt normal its never been nearly this long i just. want to see my doctor and for them to fix it so i never have to do this again. almost an entire month straight of not just bleeding but not being able to leave the house and do stuff bec of it + the extent of it. argh.

still been online just sporadically on tumblr but idk i just. posting about it is gross and tmi but i needed to post about it twice at least yk?

anyway i love u all i hope the coming of march treats u well <3

[not-so-shy-lee-chu]

I heard you were a "sucker" for tit sucking, tickling and the like. Heh, get it cause ykyk suck- nvm anyways xD,

Imagine your in a gloryhole. Though, not the kind of gloryhole that you would think. Instead of having your mouth or pussy exposed... its your tits.. your overly sensitive, easy to manipulate breasts. With how overly responsive, match with how sizeable your breastds are... you were practically a star of the gloryhole. Though, not in the kind that you would think.. truth be told you were being held there sgainst your will. All those people, touching and prodding and squeezing your erect areolas only feeling the fiery need of your edged pussy, only fadding fuel to your masohism. The person who put you there has edged you atleast 3 months, since then.. you havent orgasmed.. not even once. You were basically a frustrated mess, now even your pussy is being exposed to the public soon. In a few days, you will be teased to insanity, teased till you go crazy, teased till you cry tears of frustration from longing that sweet sweet release... as if things cant get worse.. when the gloryhole is closed, he would make you watch other girls cumming their hearts out through a vr headset. Making you watch as their hair becomes a mess, and that sweet surge of pleasure tskes over their bodies, something that you can only yearn for. And as the day starts over, the cycle repeats itself, continuous torturous teasing during the day, and tantalizingly making you watch girl orgasm during the night.

As time passes by, your will and any defenses you might have all broken to shatters. You still wonder ever so slightly, when will you be able to orgasm? How long will you have to wait? Will your captor even let you orgasm? And, why is it that the more you're edged... the more your masochistic side is loving it~ >:)

-🍺

P.S. hope you like my teasee its only one of many hehe :)

OH LAWD HAVE MERCY, WHAT KIND OF A PARAGRAPH IS THIS 🤯😵‍💫.

Oh taking a look at this I loved it, Just forced to expose my nipples and get them sucked, toyed with and meanwhile I can't do anything to stop it and being there against my will? That's... that's hot. My nipples are perking up and tingling at the idea.

How about this tho, from the slave's perspective🪶😈:

I haven't been able to sleep at night. This guy, who kidnapped me for money. Turned me into his slave when he understood I was just as broke as he was. It was six months ago but the memories are as fresh as today... He stripped me, spend his first month edging my desperate pussy daily, tying my legs up and apart, cutting my underwear, he told me that day... I was no longer allowed to cum for the rest of my life. I begged him not to. He than edged my clit with feathers, little paint and makeup brushes, his own fingers and even... with little kisses on it sometimes. I couldn't bear it. I cried and moaned and begged him, told him about every single dime of money I had left and where I kept them. He didn't seem to be interested in my money anymore for some reason... I cried and cried, but it fell on deaf ears as he circled the paintbrush around my pathetic little nub. Licking his lips and chuckling as my button throbbed when he pulled away. That's when I heard him say... "I don't need the money anymore dear, I just found a way to make my own bank... And you're going to help me with that"

...

And now here we are... My body is completely mummified, I have a blindfold and gag on too. I can't see, hear or speak anything. I simply exist here behind this wall, with my boobs peeking put of my cozy cocoon into the other side of the wall. I can't see anything. All I know is that the guy that kidnapped me earns money from it. People come and go. I can't see or hear them. I just feel them start to play with my nipples... Oh my poor nipples. I wish there was a way to get out, to set free. I would give myself all the orgasms in the world but I can't... They play with my nipples, my poor nipples. They roll them between their fingers, caress and stroke the top of it, making my knees go weak. Good thing I'm almost fixiated here to my spot, I don't have to stand. I can just let it go. They sometimes use feathers and brushes on it, it tickles so much honestly. It makes me howl and cry from laughing. After a month or so edging, my whole body is sensitive. That's why the makeup brushes do make me cry if the person keeps using it for a long time. I hate those. I hate it, I hate how my pussy and nipple ache with each stroke. I hate how I can't touch them. I hate how good it feels yet not enough... Please. Please I'll do anything. Please I need to cum!

Ohh some of them even lick and suck it. That is the most unbearable one because I get so close to cumming and they suddenly stop. I know that guy makes them do it. He loves to hear my growl and cry of frustration behind that wall. It gets so mean, it makes me sob every time. But after that much time spent in here. I got used to it, I lost my mind to be exact :) I don't put much fight up anymore, I know it's useless. I know if I give him a hard time, he is going to make me watch girls cumming all night long as he edges my clit and nipples together with brushes and vibrators, or even call his friends to do it together. I know if I curse at him, he will tie me up and tickle me all day and all night long. My poor feet can't handle how vulgar he is with his brushes and nails. I even curl my toes at the idea of it.

So I just take it like the brainless slave I am. I just exist as my boobs, clit and nipples. They're all I can think about. I just want to cum, nothing else. I just want to cum for the rest of my life. But I know he is not going to let me. Never again. He enjoys it I can feel that. He sometimes keeps me mummied and sucks my nipples himself at night, than masturbates on them and laughs at how pathetic I am. I just stay there, squirming, whining at my gag to beg him so that he plays with them longer. Just a little longer please, I am so close. Needy and crazy as always... It's too late for me to go back. I only know this life and nothing else...

I'm a slave. That's what my life will be from now on.

Oh please don't hesitate to send asks 🥰🥰 I enjoyed this one a lot! Thank you: 🍺 anon

[technicallyblakebelladonna]

hiiiii ask for you infodump about rwby volume 10 and what you want to happen

HI THERE FRIEND!!!! thank you for the ask <3

i want u to know that i specifically went to my spotify to put on my "amitola" playlist before going to answer this ask, so that should tell you where my head is at

of course for rwby v10 i want what the majority of other people want, for the bees to be shown in their relationship and for others to react to it in ways that really allow us as the audience to BASK in the fact that the bees are in an established relationship and are HAPPY. cause like, just thinking abt catradora and korrasami, well we get to see them get to that kiss and get their happy ever after, but in the show that's where it ENDS (i know with LoK they had the comics that let korrasami go past that point but i digress) like of course i could say all that and i WOULD say all of that

but

YOU CAME INTO *MY* ASK BOX. so you know exactly what im gonna infodump about. you know WHO im gonna infodump about

ilia. fucking. amitola.

we saw her last in all her collarbone-apparently-redacted glory in v8 along with a couple of other tertiary characters during ruby's speech montage. she had a fairly long focus shot (imo, for a side character) that showed her getting a call from ghira. so we KNOW that those three are going to be together-- and by the logic of ghira and kali being blake's fucking parents!! we can assume that they're going to all end up heeding the call and gathering where everyone else is. so that means that we can also assume that they'll all be there for the reunion in vacuo.

(no seriously where did they go???? i havent been able to unsee it)

ANYWAY.

so i want to see that reunion. i want to see blake fling herself into her parents arms and for ilia to kinda hang back bc she's like, still doesn't quite know what to do with herself-- and doesn't QUITE know how to relate to blake anymore. they left on good terms, but they haven't had much time to really rebuild their relationship by any means, so ilia's just standing there, heart tearing in half a little because there she is. she didn't die. ilia had mourned for her, had gone through that grief alongside blake's parents and now? now there. she's standing right there. and suddenly it's just so overwhelming that she starts turning a deep blue, right from her roots, her irises turning a deep icicle blue, sharp and unforgiving like the presumed loss she had to go through all that time ago.

and blake? she sees it. out of the corner of her eye, above the shoulder of her mom while in their embrace, she sees ilia shaking like a leaf. and she goes to her after another quick murmured reassurance to her parents. and she just opens her arms to ilia. and ilia flings herself into blake's arms and breathes her in because gods. she is real. she starts whispering "you're here. you're alive. i lost you all over again and now you're here."

and that's what i hope from canon, but am i going to stop there? no because hello. ilia fucking amitola.

the CATMELEON SHIPPER IN ME wants blake to reply with something cheesy, with something utterly heartbreakingly beautiful, something like "you could never lose me. i've always been in your heart, and you've always been in mine. and that's not going anywhere."

THEY HAVE A SPECIAL BOND OKAY CANON WILL NOT TAKE THAT FROM ME FOR FUCKS SAKE.

what i want CANON to do is to have ilia and yang finally fucking meet and talk. for ilia to give the "hurt her, no one will hear from you ever again" talk.

as @averagemrfox said in their tags

like OH MY GOD give me THIS. holy shit this is genius. maybe yang spots ilia looking restless and tense after an overwhelmingly emotional day after blake "comes back from the dead" and sees her sitting at the outskirts of the city/their camp or wherever. and so she just like. says hey. you know the best way i find to burn off extra energy? and ilia agrees to a hand-to-hand no weapons (and yang promises not to use her arm gun at all) and it feels GOOD to get the energy out. so they could have a good conversation that way and establish like, that ilia sees how good yang is for blake and how happy she is and ends with the whole, catch her off guard kinda blow and tells yang that if she hurts blake again, she'll obliterate her from the face of remnant.

what RAY WANTS BC OF THE EMBER RAINBOW SHIPPER is for ilia to get the upper hand and successfully pin her down and we have a delicious moment of sexual tension where ilia's got yang's hands above her head and her weight on her hips and she just catches the way yang's eyes sparkle in the dying sunlight of the golden hour and she just can't help herself, can't stop herself from saying "so that's why." and for yang to be just as pleasantly thrown off guard - "what's why?" and at this point ilia's freckles are flaring pink, her irises following suit and - "that's why blake fell in love with you"

like ON GOD GIMMIE. YOU CAN'T TELL ME THAT ILIA WOULDN'T SEE YANG AND EITHER 1) IMMEDIATELY GET JEALOUS OR 2) IMMEDIATELY AND UTTERLY FALL IN LOVE WITH HER TOO (or both? both is good)

shipping aside, i need ilia to STOP BEING FORGOTTEN ABOUT GODDAMNIT. this is just a general complaint of the fandom in general from my pov. like i dont REALLY see posts cross my dash, the ones that talk about rwby in general or rwby v10 specifically, it's like. ARE WE NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT ILIA FOR A SECOND??? like y'all wanna see everyone react to the bees being in a relationship and YOU FUCKING FORGET ILIA?!?!?! THE LITERAL FIRST ON SCREEN CANONICALLY CONFIRMED LESBIAN??? AND NOT ONLY THE FIRST ON SCREEN CANONICALLY CONFIRMED LESBIAN, BUT HER LESBIANISM WAS CANONIZED BY HAVING HER LITERALLY CONFESS TO BLAKE'S FUCKING FACE THAT SHE WAS IN LOVE WITH HER!!!!! I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!! IT'S RIGHT THERE!!! WHY ARE WE SLEEPING ON ILIA AMITOLA?!?!?!!?

anyway. i had to get that out of my system apparently LMAO

so where else do i want to go with this??? i mean there's so much i could say, how i want rainbow bees to actually happen bc im greedy but i love the story they told with the bees already so i don't see that happening in all seriousness (and shoehorning ilia into the bees relationship feels like a disservice to the growth the bees went through together so i GET that but i just think it would be NEAT. blake has two hands, yadda yadda and all that)

i could talk about how i want canon to reveal that ilia was actually blake's first kiss because that would be so much better than the implied fact that adam canonically was, and that just makes my skin crawl, so to have it be ilia would be DELIGHTFUL to say the least.

i could talk about how i want ilia and weiss to be an endgame couple, if nothing else for the fact that a) it would be great for weiss' growth arc, ending up with a faunus -- but not only JUST any faunus, to have one that was SO detrimentally impacted by her father's dust empire, and to heal that hurt together and have those journeys weave together in the end. and b) i just want to be greedy again and tie ilia to a main character bc it will mean we will get to see her more than just for a few minutes every so often.

i COULD also talk about how there's a great idea to have emerald and ilia end up together because, similar villian redemption arcs, opposing colour scheme, similar unrequited love type situations. it's just RIFE for a great set up and that would be great.

i COULD talk about so many things related to ilia fucking amitola and rwby v10 but i think i've definitely said quite a lot of things already, so i'll just cut it off here skghsdfkghdfg thank u for ur time and attention if u have made it this far and have enjoyed or even just slightly made sense of my ramblings

*gets off amitola soapbox*

[spaciebabie]

🌺 In what situation would your OC be pushed to commit an act of violence? Would they go as far to kill someone if they had to? How would this affect them and their relationships with others?

🌼 Describe one of your OC’s worst nightmares.

🍃 Describe a regular day for your OC. What is their schedule (if they have one).

ive been hyperfixating on katherine lately so all three answers will be about her :3

🌺it would take a lot for katherine to hurt someone. shes non confrontational and a pacifist at heart. later on in two she is eventually forced 2 use violence against others just for self defense, and she promises herself that the only time she will use violence is when shes defending herself for survival. she also takes up a vow not to kill anyone, although this will prove to be. quite difficult. moreso than she thinks it should be. her friends and family would understand, maybe they'd even think it was justified, but it would still be something she could never live with. something that would eat her from the inside out.

🌼for this one i wrote a little scenario that ive been thinking about for the past 2ish years? i put the rest of this under the cut since its kind of long. please be gentle with me when it comes to reading the next portion of my writing! i havent written in quite some time

katherine found herself standing in the very center of an almost pitch black room. as her eyes adjusted, she soon came to realize the room was that of her parents. she warily casted a glance around the room, feeling unnervingly uneasy in a space where she normally felt safe and at home. a quick glance at the clock on the wall told her that her parents should have arrived home hours ago, and yet they were nowhere to be seen. perhaps if she wandered the house she would find her mother and father cooking dinner and talking loudly about how the day was at the cafe, who came in, and what customers managed to infuriate them for the day. she hoped that's what she would find, the silence around her almost felt deafening. with no clanks of pots and pans or chatter coming from behind her, she had the sinking feeling she was very much all alone. as much as her brain willed her to leave the dark room her body did not seem to want to obey. instead, she came to realize that she had moved from her previous position in the center of the room, to being directly in front of her parent's mirror slated on their bedroom wall. she looked down to notice crimson light spilling through a crack under the mirror and felt her heart skip a beat. all of the sudden everything felt so wrong, so extremely dangerous, she was so certain she was not supposed to be here, and yet her body didnt move. she attempted to cry out to her parents, but found herself unable to speak, choking on her own words. it was then that the mirror began to slowly slide open, spilling more of the red light out into the open room. panic ravaged her insides. she willed her hands, her legs, her fingers any part of her to just move, move, move! the door seemed to open too fast and too slow at the same time, almost mocking her panicked state. outside of her own volition,as the door opened, she found herself staring directly into the bright light. it burned her eyes, causing a waterfall of tears to cascade down her cheeks. she blinked them back with ferocity, and eventually was able to catch a glimpse of what lay inside. encompassed in the light, almost blocked out by it entirely, she could make it out, almost, if only there weren't so many tears in her eyes! it was so close and so recognizable, she just needed to stop freaking crying so she could fully make it out! she continued to squint into sea of red light, trying in vain to make sense of the various blobs that were casting shadows within the room. in an instant, a switch flipped in her brain and she knew all too well what she was looking at. horror flashed across her features, and her breath caught in her throat.

katherine startled from her nightmare a very sweaty mess tangled up in her own sheets. blood pounded in her ears and her breath hitched with every intake of fresh air. she gulped in breath after breath, taking it in as if she had just come up from almost drowning. she took a moment to lay in bed and calm her breath and mile a minute heart rate. after she no longer felt like she was hyperventilating, she attempted to get her bearings. she was in her room, it was a school night, and she should probably at least try and get some rest before the next day arrived, nightmares be darned. she turned over to her side and adjusted her sheets, nestling into her bed once more. her thoughts drifted to the nightmare she had apparently had, and her stomach twisted with anxiety. she tried to recall what exactly had happened, but came up empty. her brain had just chosen to forget it she guessed. not that she was complaining, she didnt want to remember what had gotten her so worked up in the first place.

🍃a relatively chill day for katherine quin in part 1? you betcha! katherine usually wakes up, goes ta classes and then does some sort of history club meeting (of which she is the president). afterwards she goes home and does homework, hangs out w/her friends and parents, and then starts the day all over again :D

one thing katherine quin needs is a routine!

[fnaf-sxc]

(i have a question for remnant delivery and yes it is long)

so what would happen if they got into a car crash because one of them is being crazy or noisy and flames tried to tell to stop but got hit what would RXQ think?

if one of them got injured because the client was a drinker or a bratty person or got hit or damage would happen and will RXQ sue the person or something else..?

has 911 ( polices )been involved because of the client parents or it self tried to hurt themselves or kids because of the damage the person doing

why do flames hang out with RXQ sometimes

what would happen if one of them tried to hide their injuries or scar?

who would get hurt the most

has one of them lost or locked their own kids in the car.

what would RXQ react to when the others got into a car crash or a car hit them?

how is your day and i loved your comic and art

You enabled me to rant about something I love thank you very much

Sparing you all by putting it under the read more

-so what would happen if they got into a car crash because one of them is being crazy or noisy and flames tried to tell to stop but got hit what would RXQ think?

In the hypotetical case Flaming got into a crash with rentals inside it would depend what they hit and what kind of damaged it caused.

If they crash against a light or sign post the main worry is if everybody inside the van is okay and whats the damage the van got. It they crash against another car or a building the main worry is deal with the owner of the thing they hit and make sure they dont speak up against the Rental Service for it (or sue them). If they hit another living thing things could get a bit more dark and I dont wanna go there (?)

If Flaming gets HIT by another car it doesnt matter if he was or wasnt paying attention, since being hit come out of nowhere and you dont have enough time to react. Then the main worry is the rentals, that everybody is okay and inmediately get and memorize the car plate in case it tries to run away

RXQ is in charge of Customer Service, so it would be a tedious and complicated job to clean a crash mess no matter how it happened. However it would be vocally pissed with the rentals if theyre the ones that caused the crash, being for dealing with potential lawsuits or the car's damage. If one of them got hurt they would make sure to take them to the Workshop to be repaired inmediately. They would got concerned on their own way, not very good sharing emotions as it tries their hardest to not get attached to anybody

-if one of them got injured because the client was a drinker or a bratty person or got hit or damage would happen and will RXQ sue the person or something else..?

The contract with the Funtime Rental Service clients sign before being able to rent an animatronic mentions somewhere that "Any damage caused to the animatronics while theyre on a visit will be your responsability to pay up, high damage could result in the inhability to rent that animatronic or cancel the hability to rent any without cancelling your 999 years subscription"

There havent been (so far) any case of a violent client renting an animatronic with the intention to hurt or ends up hurting them, and if there ever is everybody have good reflex to protect themselves and contact their HQ Boss for assistance.

There had been cases where some rentals had teased and provoked certain clients to get a bit agressive towards them so they can "self defense" by scaring them and collecting remnant from them, which initially leads to a angry customer wanting to take legal actions just to then discover the contract they sign and how technically they provoked it first and is in risk to have to pay for whatever damage it did (not always physicial, phycological counts too consideting they all have AI). Is usually RXQ the one that bring this topic, as theyre in charge of Customer Service, managing to scare people to attempt anything and keep the company's name out of trouble

-has 911 ( polices )been involved because of the client parents or it self tried to hurt themselves or kids because of the damage the person doing

So far police havent been involved in any rental visits.

The Rentals are called to different homes for different reasons (parties, hangouts, etc) and they are programmed to recolect remnant when they sence it, being straight up in the air or detecting a person would potentially create remnant if they get a strong emotion to release it (usually fear, which lead to jumpscared). They are not agressive or mean towards their clients (unless provoked), especially kids, who are their main entertainment focus

-why do flames hang out with RXQ sometimes

RXQ is the Boss in charge of the Main HQ of the Rental Service, while Flaming is the leader and main driver of the Main HQ, they tend to exchange a few words regardless work

On part 4 of the December arc Flaming and RXQ made a deal that made Flaming spend more time with RXQ when they are on the HQ... which, eventually, lead to them enjoying each other company (RXQ more than Flaming at first)

-what would happen if one of them tried to hide their injuries or scar?

Every now and then the Rentals have a quick checkout with Goldie, to make sure all their system is working properly and if they need any type of repairment. It would be pretty notorious if one of them had a dent or scar thats not meant to be, even if they try to hide it eventually the checkout would reveal it. What would happen? The bosses would ask what happened and get concerned the animatronic didnt inform them inmediately that there was something wrong, then work to fix it.

The only exception to this is Clown, who has a big dent on their back but keeps eluding Goldie's checkout by "being constantly called" even though they havent work as a rental ever since it was created, and Goldie trust him enough to not force them to have a checkout (but keeps insisting and reminding everytime he can)

Goldie' pressure would low down and might faint if he discovers Clown had a dent of MONTHS

-who would get hurt the most

Clown Springtrap, by accident, every single time

-has one of them lost or locked their own kids in the car.

No, Flaming is always the last one to get off the van and locks it manually to make sure nothing got left inside (including any rental, big or small).

If you refeer to the clients, they dont have access to the van so they cant get trapped.

....now if we talk about the Secondary Warehouse Animatronics- Clockwork is the designated driver, and she had uhhh locked people inside before, not for too long is usually she exiting the van first and walking off before remembering she brought more rentals.

Also dont think the van would keep them trapped forever, they would find a way to be free- sadly none of them involves the safety of the van (?

-what would RXQ react to when the others got into a car crash or a car hit them?

They would get concern in their own way; first would try to solve things as professionaly as they can (since they work in Customer Service) in terms of the van, rental damage and repair and potential lawsuit if there was another person involved, all of that before letting their own feelings get in the way. They might not openly say or show anything since they dont share much, and when it does is anger and a weird dangerous and creepy aura.

But they ended up caring about the rentals of their HQ, some more than others, even when they had tried so hard to not get attached to anything ever again

-how is your day and i loved your comic and art

Thank you! Im doing pretty good, im a bit tired and zoned out but ill get better. Thank you for enjoying my AU it makes me happy nvn!

[ohyoru]

Hey im not good with words or english, but its ok to feel burnt out or tired. Youre not obligated to provide anything to us. You are an author who writes for free. Maybe to have fun maybe to express yourself. You have your own life and thats a good thing. I havent been playing genshin in a while because theres so much work i need to do there like building characters. I havent watched link click s2 because i cant bring myself to sit down for that long. Im sure everyone has something like this happening to them and i just remind myself that it doesnt matter that much. Post unfinished things, make your character builds crap, dont finish a book youve started it doesntmatter. Its about having fun. Its about forgetting your problems(at least for me) or its about spending time with your online friends. Taking a break is necessary. Spending time for yourself is necessary. Taking care of yourself is necessary. I hope i could get my message across. I cant even take my own advice seriously as im too scared to post this without anon but i hope i was able to make you feel better somehow. I also want to say i really love your works even if i dont know who the person you’re writing about is. Ive been following your works for a while and i dont regret it one bit. I would be pretty sad if you were to stop writing for certain people but if it makes you feel happy then i dont mind and im sure others wouldn’t mind it as well. Youre free to do whatever you want ( as long as youre not intruding on other peoples freedom obviously) thank you for reading my wordvomit written in an attempt to comfort you.

dearie anon,

to have you in my inbox is already a blessing enough for me. thank you so much for taking the time of your day to cheer me up, you have no idea how much this means to me (brb crying i dont deserve you sob)

first of all, your message got across. i'm not sure about your english being not good part, but really, your message resonates with me on a level deeper than language can ever explain, truly.

i appreciate your kind reminder that i shouldn't feel obliged to write for anyone. i honestly feel like it's eating me out because i put myself in the equation as well. i had been a writer before, back when tokyo revengers (anime) was still in its first season since i'm more of a manga reader. if you were in that era, you might came across my work. alas, things happened. what used to be good memories (including writing) turned into very hurtful ones and i stopped doing what i love because they're causing me so much pain. nonetheless, i still slowly died inside. it took me a while to be at peace with my past and understand that writing is what makes me the person i am. so i'm determined to start again and keep it up. but when life gets in the way and hold me back from writing (again), it depresses me. (including not playing genshin). honestly, i'm feeling lonely. what and who i used to know and love seemed to only exist in the past. people moved on, topics became irrelevant, relationship broke. which i don't blame, but it still makes me cry once in a while.

sorry for the traumadump uh- i feel like i should explain myself a little. i hope that didn't scare you too much. but anyway, you're right! i should do whatever i want. maybe i need to reframe my perspective. i love that you mention about reading book thingy because i have the same issue and yes, i'm a reader through and through. but it's been so long since i read.. the irony. maybe all i need to do is start. and love myself a bit more to stop torturing myself with unnecessary thoughts..

you know what anon? i love the past me. i dont remember exactly what i love about her, but she used to be so at peace. i'm trying to find my way back to her, and i think you're helping me set my way there, so thank you. i dont know about your problems, but if you're willing to share, i'm more than happy to listen. don't forget to take care of yourself too okay? i hope your days ahead are the loveliest yet!

also, thank you for appreciating my works! when i started writing again, i told myself and whoever that's willing to take the time of their day to consume my content that i don't need anyone's attention or approval (shadowban be damned. if it happens, it happens). i did it solely for myself. but god knows how much your kind words and others' fill up the spaces in my heart.

i'm not going to ask anything from my works. your support is something i could never repay, but i'll always appreciate it from the bottom of my heart.

(btw yes, you did send this on anon hehe i got a hunch on who you might be but if you prefer to keep it a secret, then rest assured, your secret is safe with me!)

[sticktopia]

Sticktober Days 12-21

(Sorry for disappearing! It’s been hecktic here. These journal entries should clear everything up)

Day 1

The other day, a strange portal appeared in the garden. At first, we weren't sure what it was. But upon closer inspection, we found that it was a nether portal. It looked weird since it wasn't in the typical “Minecraft artstyle”. But it was here in our world. That should have been impossible considering we don't exist in or around the Minecraft world.

Aster really wanted to go in. He had never seen the nether and wanted to experience it himself. Since I've played minecraft back when I was younger, I knew the dangers that lurked within the dimension. I tried convincing him that going would be dangerous, but then Razz hopped in saying that they wanted to see the nether for themself as well. Soon, all my blossoms decided that they wanted to go to the nether as well.

After a bunch of begging from them, I finally allowed them to enter. But they could only go if they learned the rules of the world and how to craft. It took many days, but they did eventually get their recipes down. Once they were prepared, we entered the portal.

(Little side note, For some reason, when I walked through the portal, my body became my minecraft skin. It was weird being a block person. But I guess I'm used to it at this point.)

I led the other five around the nether. I explained what they didn't understand and stopped them from falling into lava. That was exhausting all on it’s own. What I didn't expect however was that I would be stuck here.

As we made our way back to the portal, we were suddenly attacked by a ghast. I told my blossoms to run to the portal and that I would stay behind and fend off the ghast. They all made it through, thank gods. But the ghast blew up the portal before I could get through. So now I'm here. Stuck in the nether with no tools, armor, or a way back home.

Day 2

I think it’s day two. But I can't be too sure about that. Either way, I'm just glad that i'm still alive. It’s lucky that I've watched a bunch of minecraft letsplays. I probably would have died long ago if I hadn't. Using what i've learned from those videos, i've managed to snag some loot from the bastion. I had a couple gold ingots, a golden sword, and a gold helmet. I've heard that if a player wears some kind of gold, they won't be attacked. So this will definitely come in handy if it doesnt break.

I'm not sure if this is true, but I think if I trade these gold ingots with the piglins enough, they’ll eventually give me obsidian blocks or iron ingots. That’ll surely help me get home. I just need three obsidian blocks and one iron ingot! Well, I also need some flint. But there’s gravel everywhere in the nether. So I think I'll be able to aquire that fast enough!

Day 3

I've been trading with piglins forever! I havent gotten anything useful! Well, that’s a lie. I got five iron nuggets, a few pieces of string, and some leather. I think I can make an iron ingot with the nuggets but i'm not fully sure.

Not only am I not getting useful items, I'm also starving. It’s been a long time since I last ate. But I don't remember what is and is not edible in this blocky underworld. I think Blue said that netherwart is good to eat. In all honestly, netherwart is the VERY LAST thing I even want to put in my mouth. But beggars can't be choosers at this point. It either I die here or I just eat the damn thing. Hopefully I don't die before finding a nether fortress. Cause that’s the only place those things can grow.

Day 4

Finding a nether fortress wasn't as hard as I thought it was. What was hard however was fending off all the hecking mobs. There were so many for absolutely no reason. I just barely got away with my life. My helmet and sword broke. So I guess that means no more trading with Piglins unless I really do want to die.

Besides that fact, I managed to find some netherwart. And GODS ABOVE this thing is NASTY. I don't know how blue could eat-no, CRAVE this thing EVERY SINLGE DAY. Sorry, that was a bit much. But there in no way i can keep eating this. I’ll actually die from poisoning if I keep eating this.

On another note, I wonder if my blossoms are looking for me. Or even trying to figure out a way to open the portal again. I can only pray at this point.

Day 5

I'VE MADE THE DISCOVERY OF A LIFETIME!!!!! The hoglin things, the very demonic boar things that fling you up in the air, those things. THEY DROP FOOD WHEN THEY DIE!!! I'M SAVED!!!!!

I can finally stop eating Blue’s drug fungus! Hallelujah! Maybe it was wrong of me to do this but i literally tossed all the netherwart I gathered into the lava… Blue wouldn't kill me for doing that. I hope.

Anyway!!! I have good food now! I’ll live just a little bit longer! All I need now are weapons! Then I can surely survive till I find a way home!

Day 6

Things are finally starting to look up! I found a piece of obsidian, two diamonds, and a few more gold ingots! My goal now is to find a warped forest biome and make a sword!

Oh yeah! I accidentally killed a piglin earlier as well. And it gave me a crossbow! I don't think i’ll be able to use it since i don't have any arrows but it might come in handy sooner or later. Arrows should exist in the nether i think. I mean, how else are Piglins supposed to use crossbows? Maybe I can check out another piglin chest thing. They always have treasures and loot in those things. So maybe there’ll be some arrows in there!

Do piglins trade arrows too? I can't remember. Maybe i can try trading again. I’ll just use the hole method so they don't attack me.

Day 7

I'm staring to get the hang on the nether now. It’s different from playing behind a screen but it is a lot more fun this way! Well, fun when I'm not being attacked by mobs and almost falling into lava and starving. But I am having fun either way! Maybe I should start playing again. And maybe I can play with my blossoms as well. Assuming they arent traumatized by being attacked.

Aside from that rant, I did manage to trade with the hoglins. I have more iron ingots and bars, a fire resistance potion, and I got a few arrows from their treasure areas as well. I take that as a win. I also found my way to a warped forest! Sadly, I'm kinda stuck in a tree at the moment. I accidentally shot an enderman trying to kill another hoglin. So it’s kinda just screeching at me on the floor. Do endermen eventually give up? Or am I gonna have to kill this dude first?

Ok so I killed him. And he gave me his eye. That was nice of him. Anyway, now that I have wood and sticks, i can finally make myself a diamond sword! More weapons! Maybe I could make myself a sheild but I never learned the recipe to that. Can I activate the recipe book in this form?

Ok so I can't, sadly. If this were the old version of minecraft, I wouldn't need to manually place the items in the box. I miss the old minecraft sometimes. But I must say, this new minecraft is quite entertaining.

Day 8

Ok now I'm bored. I feel like I've been all over the nether at this point. I also feel like i've done everything i can in the nether. I've traded with piglins, stole from bastions, ate netherwart, rode a strider, chopped down a warped tree, and killed a bunch of mobs. Is there anything else to do here other than, ya know, LIVE.

Ah whatever. Maybe I'll be stuck here forever. Future generations will know me as the lost player. I’ll become another minecraft creepypasta or legend. I leave this journal for the next player to read and dissect lore and stuffs. Lore is good. Lore is great. Lore is delicious.

I wonder if the others have held a funeral for me. That would be so funny actually. They hold this big extravagant funeral for me and I just suddenly appear again. They might actually kill me thinking I'm an imposter or maybe a ghost.

Either way. The nether is my home now. I guess I'll have to figure my future out here.

Day 9

The piglins have been agitated lately. I can't understand their language, but I know that theyre very upset about something. I wonder what it is. Maybe they're mad because I keep stealing their things and they don't know who’s taking their stuff. If that is the case, i am very sorry to them. But I need to live. I’d prefer not to die in the minecraft equivilent of hell. Maybe this is a sign. I'm being prepared to face the real underworld because that’s where I'll be going.

Either way, i'm not going to die here. I still have a lot to do with my life. Like take care of my garden, care for my blossoms, finish writing my story, and other things. If I listed them all here I think that would fill the rest of this book. And I can't do that cause then there will be no room for lore. Not only that, I might lose my mind if I don't write something. And we can't let the last bits of my sanity leave me now.

Day 10

Ok so this day has been absolutely CRAZY! Let me explain.

The day started like any other. I was hunting for Hoglins when I was suddenly attacked by a swarm of Piglins! I tried to fight my way out but there were too many of them. I had to take to the trees again. But the freaking Piglins weren’t following the game mechanics! They were like-not like the game! They were climbing on top of each other and trying to get to me. I panicked and started firing arrows at them. I wasted all ym arrows doing that. All I had left was my almost broken sword and a fishing rod.

Thankfully! I remembered how the CG used their fishing rods during our battle royale. So I pulled out the rod and started flinging the piglins off the nearby cliff. But then I accidentally brough a piglin onto the tree with me! It attacked me, knocking me off the tree and into the lava.

Obviously I'm not dead. And that’s cause I took the fire resistance potion! It still hurt falling into the lava, but i'm sure burning alive would hurt a lot more.. Besides that, being on fire with no harm was weird. Anyway, I swam my way out of the lava and sat on the bank. It’s hard moving in lava! It’s like I was in molasses. Well, once I caught my breath, I tried to make my way to my base. But then I was attacked by the piglins again! And I had nowhere to escape this time. I couldn't just hop back into the lava. And I didn't exactly have the resources to fend them all off.

I was quite literally saying my goodbyes in my head when the piglins suddenly started paying attention to something behind them. All of a sudden, the color gang bursted through the army of piglins! It was amazing!!! They were like, kicking ass! I can't beleive we faught them head on.The hollowhead kid came up to me and explained the situation.

Apparently, my blossoms were freaking out about me not making it through the portal. So they emailed themselves to Alan’s PC to ask the Color group for help. That’s good. At least they didn't abandon me.

Anyway, the Color group helped me get to their PC. I turned back into my stick form and was immediately attacked by my blossoms. They promised to never go back into minecraft ever again. Fair enough. But I know that Razz and Aster are the two who won't hold onto that promise.

Well, I'm finally home. After 10 days and 9 nights in Minecraft hell, I’m finally back home. I may not be playing minecraft for a while. But it knows that I'll be back in a few months.

[chloeangelic]

you’re on a website full off mentally ill people lol (and I really don’t mean that in a bad way, but tumblr especially has always been a place for people to be open about mental health and stuff)

People here are always gonna be too intense, too into stuff, too whatever. Some people aren’t able to slip back into a normal mindset after reading a fic and yeah, that’s on them. But as long as they don’t send any hate it’s their business.

You whole post about how Joel can be a mass murder and everyone still loves him but what happens in rendezvous makes him a “bad” person to everyone. Meh. It’s all just fanfiction, it’s really not that deep. Obviously when we’re reading most things from readers perspective it feels shitty and makes Joel look shitty. He’s not gonna be a mass murder in a no outbreak fic so the boundaries are going to be completely different. And personally I would consider what Joel did cheating, not on MC but on Katy, but you’re the author, you decide.

And yeah, people are gonna be mad about angst and especially angst/bad endings. (Again, as long as they don’t send mean/hate asks, I think it’s fine?) you gave enough warnings so its up to them to decide if they want to read it. But some people are never going to stop wanting happy endings and that’s okay too. Life is already shitty enough, why read fanfic about a shitty life lol. And for people reading Joel fanfic, obviously a shitty ending would be for him to be with someone else and not “you”

It would be a completely different story if the “you” is Katy, obviously. And then people would feel shitty at the thought of Joel with current rendezvous MC.

And yeah, you did warn enough. But some people just don’t read or care about warnings. (Like for example, some people on AO3 turn off seeing all the tags so they don’t get spoiled about what happens lol.) then it is of course their own fault. I obviously don’t know what kind of asks you got that were deleted but the ones you posted don’t really seem bad? Katy isn’t actually a real person (besides the person you got the name from) just like Joel isn’t actually a real person so who cares if someone insults them lol

You should probably turn off anon asks if the last chapter is going to piss off everyone. But I also think you knew what was gonna happen when you post a series like that lol

i mean you basically said it yourself - people are responsible for reading the tags and deciding if the content is okay for them. i havent deleted any anons - i might respond slowly, but i do reply to all anons unless theyre completely pointless or im saving them for something like a roundup post

and youre right, its not that deep, which is why i have no issue writing angsty series like rendezvous, cause its all just me playing with barbies on my keyboard at the end of the day. my post about him being a murderer was just my thoughts and observations on the matter as someone who has written about joel "cheating", going MIA, being forgiven etc.

i know people are gonna be pissed about the last part - people would be pissed no matter how it ends, cause there's essentially three camps of readers. i think its fun to see people being engaged and having strong feelings about it, that just means i wrote something engaging and that evokes emotion like i intended

i have no issue with people being "too invested" in this story, having strong feelings about it, but when people have genuine issues with me writing joel choosing someone else, that just the idea of me writing one story like that makes them personally feel like shit, i think like its important for me to say i think its a concerning way of interacting with fanfics. im not making anyones life worse by writing the things i write lmao

not entirely sure what kinda answer you wanted here haha but those are my thoughts on what you said!

[missfingers]

Just me vibrating over here waiting for the next amazing addition to your fic~~ ;D As per random ask, any ideas you've been tossing around for future fics?

THANK YOU SO MUCH !??! god let me tell you its excrutiating having to sit and wait to upload each chapter I JUST WANT TO GET THEM ALL OUT THERE ALREADY !!!!

pre-emptively sorry for how long thisll get. help

there ARE a couple actually. two of them are related to my other fic so ill get to them in a second, but the first one is actually something ive gotten like .. half written but not rlly happy with.

i wrote this other weird ass oneshot thinkpiece where majima as a 40 year old has a bad trip and kind of hallucinates meeting his past self in the hole. if you havent read that i can post it again if you want. i have this whole Thing about traumatised characters getting to be their for their younger selves when no one else was, because like. if no one else was there for me then i needed to be there for myself, you get me? so i wrote that, and then i COULDNT stop thinking about that concept

so logical next step: time travel. LMAO. idek i came up with this bullshit idea of like. somehow directly after the hole early 20s majima gets thrown through a time loop all the way to uuuhhh around 2010 ? between y3 and y4. and ends up washing up on morning glories beach. and cue being taken in by kiryu and getting to heal (CAN YOU SEE THATS A COMMON THING WITH ME ?) and kind of becoming a big brother to the kids and eventually kiryu has to call yknow Present Day Majima cause he cant keep this secret anymore. and eventually that leads to young and old meeting and etc etc whatever would come with that. again i have it half written and dont . really know if ill ever do anything with it but itll always be in my head

aside from that i have all the various ideas in my head for thtfy spinoffs - i have an entire yakuza 0 rewrite plotted out in a document with the first couple chapters (Poorly.) written. idk if ill ever Fully write that but theoretically that would be a sequel (spoiler: it ends in kazumajimako polycule.) im happy to post parts or all of that plot skeleton if ppl are interested in that

the other one thats most clear in my head is actually nishida centric LOL cause .. i cant say like Exact stuff cause itll be thtfy spoilers but nishida and majima wouldnt be able to meet how they do in canon but i REALLY LIKE their relationship so i needed some way for them to meet. and that fic would essentially be a majima retrospective from nishidas pov, an outsider look on his courting, engagement and eventually marriage and child with makoto, etc. i just love nishida. it would also be heavily inspired by tatsu and masas relationship from way of the househusband if thats any indicator

wow ive talked a lot. hi. THANK YOU !!!!!

[rippeds0cks]

3/4/2024

I have been weird lately. Some days ill be doing great then other days ill be as worse as ive ever been. These last couple days have been bad. Ive been so bad mentally that ive had to stop whatever im doing (eating, watching a movie, working out, playing elden ring) and just sit there and stare off into nothing. I zoned out entirely when i was driving yesterday. Ended up going 75 in a 45 and had to rush a break when i zoned back in so i didnt slam into the back of the car in front of me. Cant have that become a habit since im gonna be driving a lot soon. Buying a gun soon. Not for suicide or anything i need it for bears n such since im gonna be camping in the middle of national parks a lot. I havent slept well in weeks. Every night for the last couple nights ive been as close to tears as ive been in recent memory. I get really emotional laying here n my right eye will be teary but my left eye will not. I wonder if my tear duct is damaged in any kinda way since thats the side closest to my head injury. It shouldnt be since thats my better eye. Back when i got a cut on my left eyelid i was essentially blind for those couple days it took for the swelling to go down since my right eye is essentially useless. That reminds me, my dad is slowly catching onto how bad my health is. He made the observation “you might have something wrong with your depth perception cause you get really close to the cars in front of you when you drive” and i just went “haha yeah” when in reality my depth perception mostly went when i was like a very early 19 and i just got used to it. Fighting made me able to “feel” the distance between me and everything around me but that goes out the window when im operating a machine like a car. Ill get used to it i guess. Maybe start wearing my glasses.

I think that on this trip ill make the decision about reaching out to my ex. I think that if i get all the way to vegas and still think about her ill reach out for closure. Thatll be a while tho. Maybe well over a year. I dont know. Ive just completely given up any delusion of her contacting me. If contact is to be made itll be made by me. I just cant stop thinking about her and its already ridiculous so if it continues for so long that by the time i get to vegas i might as well reach out. Worst comes to worst and she loses her mind/gets a restraining order n i cant firefight anymore i can just kill myself its not a big deal. I just cant keep harboring these emotions forever. I already dont wanna harbor em im just too scared to reach out. It doesnt help that me n benj (mostly benj) bring up our exes a lot so i have to think about her. He says shit sometimes that unlocks memories i didnt know i had and it will make my ass catatonic for the day.

Like once i had a ptsd attack while asleep and i jolted awake and we were napping together and i woke up to her laying on me pulling me as close as possible and it brought my heart rate down and mental state down entirely, i was able to relax and calm down just cause she was there. She probably doesnt remember it since when i jolted awake she was mostly still asleep, just doing a slurred half awake “do u have to pee” to which i just said no n we both went back to bed.

I waa gonna type out another memory thats been replaying in my head where she lays with me as i was having full body convulsions and i was in some of the most pain i have ever been in. Rubbing my back and holding my hand. I was gonna type it all out in detail but im already shaking and crying out of one eye lol. No snot or anything tho so i dont know if this qualifies as crying.

Anyways i would give anything to be able to experience that again. The first and only person to ever love me and things went so horribly wrong. Both of our faults. I take the vast majority of the blame though. She takes the blame towards the end but the rest of it is my fault.

Anyways

[unwellcryptid]

hi. im an artist who isnt really an artist so much as a guy who happens to draw.

i also have a myriad of illnesses and conditions that fuck with my ability to do that, or to enjoy it.

ive been having a very difficult time making anything i wanna make recently. i say recently, but it wasnt that recent honestly- back in, what, 2020 or 2021, i developed a repetitive strain injury in both my arms, afflicting the muscles responsible for closing my hands and the down motion- both things you kinda need to do when you draw.

i should clarify that i didnt develop this because i was drawing excessively- i cant say ive ever drawn excessively, i dont think im capable quite honestly- but because of how i held myself at all times all the time for basically my entire life.

the RSI (abbreviated for repetitive strain injury because thats A Lot To Type) is responsible for my chronic pain. i hear some people can recover totally from an RSI, but alas i am not one of them.

i started drawing in 2016, and i had decided very strictly to draw Something every single day due to instruction from the artists i learned from, and i had largely done that.

but part of my (attempted) recovery from my RSI was not being able to draw. i knew, before it even began, that if i stopped drawing for very long, i would have an extremely hard time picking it back up.

(this had happened before, in smaller ways. if i didn't draw for a week or two, drawing was a major struggle and i enjoyed it way less, so i didnt draw as much. i almost had to force myself to draw just so i could build a pattern to enjoy it again. the RSI recovery was worse, i wouldnt be able to do anything for months, even if i wanted to.)

and as i predicted, when i stopped drawing for that long, i found it nearly impossible to pick drawing back up. this struggle has continued to this day- ive never been able to draw every day anymore- not helped by the fact the RSI never went away, so drawing can be physically painful if im not careful- but it isnt ONLY the RSI messing me up.

i realized i formed a very strained relationship to creating drawings itself.

its kind of hard to talk about, because i feel totally alone in having this problem. every artist ive ever known or even heard of has all said the same thing, that making art is part of who they are. theyve been doing it naturally, even if they havent been drawing since childhood, its still an easy and simple thing for them to do. most talk about how art got them through depressive episodes and bad parts of life, or how it helps them work through their emotions, or how its part of them recovering energy after a long day.

its none of those to me. drawing has always been a strain, a second step i take in my creativity that i work very, very hard to do. it takes energy, it causes pain, and usually it didnt help me with my emotions. that was never the point of me drawing.

i suspect the reasons why im struggling with art are complex and varied and i feel like its almost impossible to talk about with artists. they never get it, especially not professionals, especially not healthy ones.

so i guess i made a tumblr blog about it. because i wanna talk about it, and the best i can do is make my own space for it.

im not gunna post art here, but the plan is to post about art, and about how i'm handling it, about why i'm feeling this way, and how i'm doing with it day-to-day. i think that might help