#i havent written anything creative in so long

[spaciebabie]

🌺 In what situation would your OC be pushed to commit an act of violence? Would they go as far to kill someone if they had to? How would this affect them and their relationships with others?

🌼 Describe one of your OC’s worst nightmares.

🍃 Describe a regular day for your OC. What is their schedule (if they have one).

ive been hyperfixating on katherine lately so all three answers will be about her :3

🌺it would take a lot for katherine to hurt someone. shes non confrontational and a pacifist at heart. later on in two she is eventually forced 2 use violence against others just for self defense, and she promises herself that the only time she will use violence is when shes defending herself for survival. she also takes up a vow not to kill anyone, although this will prove to be. quite difficult. moreso than she thinks it should be. her friends and family would understand, maybe they'd even think it was justified, but it would still be something she could never live with. something that would eat her from the inside out.

🌼for this one i wrote a little scenario that ive been thinking about for the past 2ish years? i put the rest of this under the cut since its kind of long. please be gentle with me when it comes to reading the next portion of my writing! i havent written in quite some time

katherine found herself standing in the very center of an almost pitch black room. as her eyes adjusted, she soon came to realize the room was that of her parents. she warily casted a glance around the room, feeling unnervingly uneasy in a space where she normally felt safe and at home. a quick glance at the clock on the wall told her that her parents should have arrived home hours ago, and yet they were nowhere to be seen. perhaps if she wandered the house she would find her mother and father cooking dinner and talking loudly about how the day was at the cafe, who came in, and what customers managed to infuriate them for the day. she hoped that's what she would find, the silence around her almost felt deafening. with no clanks of pots and pans or chatter coming from behind her, she had the sinking feeling she was very much all alone. as much as her brain willed her to leave the dark room her body did not seem to want to obey. instead, she came to realize that she had moved from her previous position in the center of the room, to being directly in front of her parent's mirror slated on their bedroom wall. she looked down to notice crimson light spilling through a crack under the mirror and felt her heart skip a beat. all of the sudden everything felt so wrong, so extremely dangerous, she was so certain she was not supposed to be here, and yet her body didnt move. she attempted to cry out to her parents, but found herself unable to speak, choking on her own words. it was then that the mirror began to slowly slide open, spilling more of the red light out into the open room. panic ravaged her insides. she willed her hands, her legs, her fingers any part of her to just move, move, move! the door seemed to open too fast and too slow at the same time, almost mocking her panicked state. outside of her own volition,as the door opened, she found herself staring directly into the bright light. it burned her eyes, causing a waterfall of tears to cascade down her cheeks. she blinked them back with ferocity, and eventually was able to catch a glimpse of what lay inside. encompassed in the light, almost blocked out by it entirely, she could make it out, almost, if only there weren't so many tears in her eyes! it was so close and so recognizable, she just needed to stop freaking crying so she could fully make it out! she continued to squint into sea of red light, trying in vain to make sense of the various blobs that were casting shadows within the room. in an instant, a switch flipped in her brain and she knew all too well what she was looking at. horror flashed across her features, and her breath caught in her throat.

katherine startled from her nightmare a very sweaty mess tangled up in her own sheets. blood pounded in her ears and her breath hitched with every intake of fresh air. she gulped in breath after breath, taking it in as if she had just come up from almost drowning. she took a moment to lay in bed and calm her breath and mile a minute heart rate. after she no longer felt like she was hyperventilating, she attempted to get her bearings. she was in her room, it was a school night, and she should probably at least try and get some rest before the next day arrived, nightmares be darned. she turned over to her side and adjusted her sheets, nestling into her bed once more. her thoughts drifted to the nightmare she had apparently had, and her stomach twisted with anxiety. she tried to recall what exactly had happened, but came up empty. her brain had just chosen to forget it she guessed. not that she was complaining, she didnt want to remember what had gotten her so worked up in the first place.

🍃a relatively chill day for katherine quin in part 1? you betcha! katherine usually wakes up, goes ta classes and then does some sort of history club meeting (of which she is the president). afterwards she goes home and does homework, hangs out w/her friends and parents, and then starts the day all over again :D

one thing katherine quin needs is a routine!

[ratwars]

Once I'm at 3 completed chapters on this DoA fashion house AU fic I think I'll start posting it (probably on ao3). I'm worried if I do it before then I'll start nitpicking myself and delay the absolute crap out of everything.

[roydeezed]

In Winter, deciding what she is, she freezes. There's something about her then that begs you not to wake. Be it the heavy covers or the cold air that hangs around. She says, "Please don't, I can't seem to be anything for you." She says it in the dead trees and the frozen rivers and lakes and the chill that seeps into your bones. And you wish you could say something back in a voice loud enough for her to hear. But you're just one person. So you say it back through the small things. You say it through the warm drink in your hand that wakes you up in the morning. You say it through the layers of wool and polyester and nylon that keep you warm enough to talk. You say it through the walks and runs and the quiet contemplations as the sunrise sparks into a fiery kaleidoscope off of the snow and you say it through the things you do in a frozen city that make you it's heart beat. Going to your job. Shoveling the drive way. Meeting friends and eating soup in a cafe and being alive. You say, because she knows the truth and she knows this year's not as great as before, "It's not that bad. I like you just the way you are right now." You say it so because you do, and because the two of you cut scars into each other that you know might never heal. That that was the price of living with one another, and loving one another. You each worry about the damage you do without realizing how you're the reason the marks of the past fade. You worry about not healing the new ones, but the old ones are scabbed over and long since faded. And you say it all in such a small voice that you worry she might not hear. But... you're not alone. Because an uncountable number of others say it with you. A chorus of appreciation.

And come Spring, he hears it. Her mood is temperamental. She swings in with a dance, her smile a portent of what she will be, come a few months. She lights up the skies and melts the snow and goes to sleep as you do but wakes up moody. He's overcast and somber. He asks, "Won't you please stay inside? I want this all to myself." But you have to say back, struggle as you might. Lie as you might, "Let me in on it, it looks fun." So you trudge through the miserable and unnatural midday darkness, the rain refracting any sunlight that sneaks past the persistent clouds into oblivion. And you see her Kore, as she thinks and considers and contemplates. She's hunched over the clouds, towering over the hills and forests in the distance, the storm a skirt draped over her crossed legs. His gaze pierces you as go about your day and he promises you that he will change. A chill runs down your spine as you wonder what that promise might bring. And as you try to sleep, the world outside seeming to play timpanis of thunder and hi-hats of rain to lull you into sleep, she crashes in with the wind. A percussive jazz solo of night as she keeps you awake. You wanted to sleep but that desire was shattered when you looked at her. The drumbeats of loose window nets, houses whipped by rain and wind and the whipping of flora betrayed more than she wanted to let on. As his wind screams through valleys of buildings and dips in the road, scoring out space between hills and ditches, you see the emotion behind it all. Is it anger, is it elation? His face is a whirl never settling straight. And it demands to know, "Does it matter?"

And it's that defiance that carries him into summer. A blazing paragon that beats down. That equally sneers at you to stand and helps you get up. One that says, "Keep up!", and doesn't look back. You hear the joy in his voice but also a challenge. And for days, precious days, you wonder if you can. And then suddenly you're running alongside of him laughing, the two of you trading victories and losses, of days spent on the beach and in parks and on tennis courts and tracks, keeping up and falling behind and rushing past. Until all of a sudden you don't hear that laughter anymore. He's bent over and gasping for breath as he gestures you on, never one to admit defeat, promising to catch up. But you know the truth, that your time with him is never long enough, so you you jog backwards and with a smile you yell out, "I'll see you soon!", before turning around and running off.

And into... Autumn. Somehow they got ahead of you. Again. And again they've changed before you can. They're warm. And cold. But always cozy. And shy. But you want to know who they are. They wear knitted sweaters of fallen leaves and are always holding cups of the perfect morning. You want to try. You want to ask. But you know they drink it for you. So you don't have to find out what it really tastes like. Some days they're Fall, others Autumn. You don't know what the difference is but it makes you happy to see them be themself. Their hair changes from green to yellow to orange to red with highlights of every kind hidden underneath. And you look under that mop of hair to find out what goes on underneath and you see bright shining eyes. And you hear them mutter, "So I wonder if..." And you steal those words from their lips and try to follow along. To understand every little thought they think. You want to get to know them. Through everything, they interest you. You meet them in libraries, in cafes, and under withering trees with crunching leaves underneath. They're buried in a book that seems to hold the secrets of the universe in it. And you try to find something similar, equivalent, to devour before you meet them. You spend so much time trying to understand it before you do that when you finally get to them, they've just dusted off their pants and are heading home, their favourite bookmark cradled between the back of the book and the last page. You manage to mumble out a goodbye and hope to see them again next year.

And when you see him again, he's Winter. The thoughts had piled up and gotten too much and like an awning piled up with snow, he looks like he's caved into himself. You don't feel much better than he looks so you reach out a hand, both of you on your asses, knocked down by the year that came before. "So how does this work?", he asks. You wonder too. Do you both hope to pull each other up or do you both just sit and wait to be buried by the avalanche of the holidays and the new year? Do you dig yourself out or do you just let the cold of sleep take over. He brightens at the last ideas but you know you can't let it end like that. So you pull and say, "Let's find out."

[aliensunflower-fics]

My Recommended Fic List

So, I got this ask awhile ago, and since I have been re-reading a bunch of my old favorite fics as a way to cheer up after work I figured why not. This list will be long... and varied but mostly its older fics cuz idk there my favs. Now lets go:

Fashion Upgrade - By @soap-lady : Straight up one of my favorite fics ever, its fun, its creative, it never fails to make me laugh when I need something warm and wholesome after a bad day. Also go check out the rest of her stuff there's so much good okay like shes just a writing queen. Shes on AO3 I don't want to spoil you on her other stuff just GO experience it for yourself.

Ode To Decoy pt 1 / 2 / 3 - By @a-marlene-s : Ive always liked this short sweet little fic about Lila getting caught. Its Lila + class salt though so avoid if that's not your flavor.

EVERYTHING - By @unmaskedagain : They have salt, they have sugar, they have funny, they have crossovers. Like honestly they are a just a great writer with so much variety so go check out the masterlist I linked and I guarantee there will be something there you like.

@ravennm84 Is a writer on the saltier side but they have a wonderful selection of weird wacky tales from the salty but oh so well written Damning Evidence that sees Lila get caught in the best way to the 3 part Horror inspired Serafina other great fics from them include Marinettes Family Court Circus pt 1 / 2 and Of Moldy Bread and Cockroaches / Be Kind to Servers honestly its worth giving there blog a look.

@mochinek0 Is another writer with several beloved fics. They write a lot of Maribat and we love them for it. Ones to check out would be Blind Date / Bruce vs Gabriel just go check out there tag list of daminette for more.

Accidental Crime Boss Marinette - By @lady-literature : This is a wonderful idea and a wonderful little fic and I just... I just like it okay. Sadly I haven't read a lot of there other stuff... But I might after finishing this list considering how much I enjoy this one.

@nobodyfamousposts I love a LOT of there fics. They are one of the best when it comes to striking that sweet spot of calling out the show for some of its garbage while not getting so salty that you cant have fun lighthearted goodness. I have been looking for a masterlist of there work but cant find one so just go stalk there tags. I do recommend there Chloe's Lament Series 1 / 2 exploring how certain 'wishes' would backfire. Guardian Assistant Kevin is also a good one Miracle Queen Aftermath pt 1 / 2 / The 8 parter Burn the Witch series / The Wisdom Teeth Reveal / Kagami Vs The Wall of Faces / Resigning With Grace & Spite / I tried to give a lot of links cuz they have a lot of stuff

Kill Them With Kindness - By @luki-fanfic : Well written, good salt without going overboard. Just good vibes. I havent stalked there other stuff but if its anything like this fic its probably excellent quality.

Stephen Vladislav pt 1 / 2 - By @stormiclown : Adrien centered salt on the idea of finally giving Adrien his own proper rival. I like the idea of Adrien having a rival because its usually Marinette and this was just the right length to get those creative ideas flowing. Also just well written what more can you ask for.

Power Trip - By @storygirl000 : This was the first fic that made me go... Wait would it be more fun if Lila was actually competent? And that set me on the path to writing my own fics where Lila is more villainous and more capable. Its short, well written. Good.

Your Wish is My Command - By DemiGoddess28 on AO3 : A great 11 chapter fic looking into Lila's life if she were to win and get a miraculous wish. Its got sugary goodness for our protagonists and the class and salt for our dearest friend Lila.

LadyBugOut AU - By Miraculous-Content on AO3 : A 50 chapter fic made up of snippets and ideas. I found it really inspiring in many ways. I also love how it redeems Marinettes classmates showing how and why they were tricked but holding them accountable anyway its just... Good.

Juleka vs The Forces of the Universe - By goldenlaurelleaves on AO3 : For those of us not yet ready to accept the death of luka/mari we have this wonderful fic showing Juleka being the biggest wingman as she helps these idiots find there way together.

ChaoticNeutral on AO3 has there own Chloe's Lament fic as well as a Gabriel's Lament fic for people who need sweet salty of those two characters.

BroadwayCutie16 was Inspired by the person above and DemiGoddesses your wish is my command fic to write Lila's Lament fic going over Lilas failed wish. Honestly I always love these fics because there just so interesting and the way wishes can be taken and twisted is always a fascinating idea to me.

#WayneAngel - By Tired-Writing-Teach on AO3 : For us Maribat lovers. Its fun and lighthearted with some good gags and some light fluff.

Damian in Paris - By Lilliesandliveries on AO3 : A sweet Maribat series showing what would happen if Damian ran away from home and found himself in Paris and getting therapy.

How a Demon Commissions an Angel - By AlixAnonymous : Damian blackmails Marinette into letting him be her client so he can get his bros the best gifts, they end up becoming penpal buddies.

Mythomania - By LadyEnna_50 on AO3 : Proof that I dont hate Adrien or Mari/Adrien. In this fic Adrien's spine gets titanium plating and he sees just how bad Lila is hurting Marinette and does something about it.

The Contingency - By AbyssalGuardian on AO3 : SALT. Also Tim/Mari but even still I love the way this was written, the style, and some of the ideas just ugh love it. Its not for those who dont like salt so just avoid at your own discretion. Its about a chaotic Marinette done with her life running away to Gotham where she meets her true black cat, and gets her life back on track.

The String That Binds Us - By FaithAndATypeWriter on AO3 : Okay so is there any Mari/Bat fan who hasnt already heard of this one? Who cares its good, its cute, I love it. May the author be blessed with snacks.

The Great IKEA Game - By @batsandbugs : Okay again... I think every Mari/Bat fan has probably heard of this one already because its just that good and that popular. But who cares I am recommending it anyway. Don't read if your allergic to fun I guess.

If this list still doesn't somehow have enough salt for you then try @goggles-mcgee fics here is a link to there Masterlist. They are in a way a professional at salt and angst and they make you want to adopt Marinette and pop her in a blanket fort.

Honestly I could keep going but this list already feels so long for other great recs though I can link you to @jayphoenic who has some great Daminette Fic Recs and some Lila Salt Fic Recs!

Feel free to reblog this and add some links to stuff you would think I or others might like! Also lets just acknowledge how many talented authors the community has like wow.

[s3ungm1nxxl0ve]

Next Life // K.SM

Part 1

Idol!Seungmin x FemaleMermaid!reader

(Warnings: death, breakup, angst, forbidden love kinda???? Like reader is a mermaid and she has people trying to unalive her..)

Lemme know if I missed anything since im new to writing!!!)

ITS ALL FAKE!!! PURE FICTIONNNN

Authors note: I was listening to “those eyes” -new west when I was like, dude I havent written in so long sooooo——-

Not proofread, maybe mistakes cause english isnt my first language!!

•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•

Seungmin quickly hurried to the car as paparazzi followed along, trying to interview Seungmin.

He got into the car and sighed, Seunmin loved being a k-pop idol, but sometimes fans could be a bit crazy.

He checked his phone as the driver started the car and drove away.

It was already past midnight,

He yawned and put his phone back, after a while he was back at the dorms.

He kindly thanked the driver before looking for his keys.

Seungmin opened the door and put his stuff down, Chan was still awake and greeted Seungmin.

“Welcome home Seungmin, how was it?”

“It was fine, but im tired” Seungmin grumbled.

“Ooh, alright then, go get some sleep, yeah?” Chan responded.

Seungmin turned around and went to his room to sleep.

But despite how much he tried, he couldn’t fall asleep!

Seungmin sighed and got up, this wasn’t going anywhere.

He decided to go on a walk to clear his head.

Once outside, he noticed it was softly raining.

Little droplets of rain falling down onto the ground.

He instantly felt better once outside, so he decided to go to a forest.

Seungmin always went there whenever he was stressed and needed to be alone.

It was his secret place that no one knew about, not even his members..

The leaves crunched under his feet as he was walking through the forest.

Seungmin went to the side of the lake and sat down on the grass before he noticed a melody.

It was beautiful and mesmerizing, the voice was as sweet as honey, but at the same time it was as light as a feather.

He hummed with it and closed his eyes.

Suddenly the melody stopped, and he opened his eyes, and his jaw dropped.

A human with the lower body of a fish?

“W-Who are you?” You softly mutter.

“I-I’m Seungmin, who and what are you?..”

“My name is (Y/N) and I am a mermaid” you explained, “I noticed you were listening and became curious..”

“Oh? How so?..” Seungmin asked.

“Well, I have always heard stories about humans, but I haven’t really met and talked with one” you said.

Seungmin stood up and walked closer before crouching.

“C-Can you sing again? It was beautiful and it made me feel a lot better actually.”

You then smiled before singing a tune that randomly came up in your head.

Seungmin closed his eyes and enjoyed your humming and singing.

After a while you stopped.

“Why did you stop? It was beautiful” He asked.

“W-Well, I don’t know, but you thought it was beautiful?” You blushed.

“Yeah, I think you are an amazing and creative pers- well… mermaid then.” He chuckled.

You giggled, in your childhood all you have ever heard were that humans were bad.

But maybe, just maybe!

You found one that isn’t.

You were actually hesitant to come to Seungmin in the first place, you were told not to show yourselves to humans, as they don’t know a lot about mermaids yet.

And you knew that if more people knew, that they would try to capture and sell you.

“S-Seungmin was your name?..” you asked

“That’s right” he smiled.

“Will you promise me not to tell anyone about this?” You asked, hopeful eyes looking at him.

“Hmm, only if we can be friends and you will keep singing for me whenever I come, I love your voice after all.” He laughed.

“Mmh, promise!!” You grinned.

Seungmin noticed it was getting light again, and he hadn’t even gotten a second of sleep.

He stood up and said “I have to go, but I will visit you soon, okay?”

“Okay! Don’t forget about me!” You joked.

“Oh, trust me, forgetting you would be impossible.” He winked at you before disappearing.

What was this feeling?…

Seungmin arrived back at the dorms and went straight to his room.

He immediately fell asleep, now that he cleared his head.

But when he woke up after a few hours, all he could think about was you…

•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•

TO BE CONTINUED….

[eleanor-bradstreet]

Hi! I love your blog and I like show!Ben very much. However I felt meh about his book, and Sophie while sweet, strong and deserving of respect seemed a little bit bland to me. It's fine and probably won't ruin the pleasure of following their story for me. The book and Cinderella themes was simply not my cup of tea, but they definitely will make some changes anyways. That all being said I want to very politely ask you to explain to me what's magic of this couple is for you?

Hello Nonny!

Thank you so much for your kind words and this truly thought provoking question! I have a long-winded answer 😜

I agree with you on many points: I am typically not one for fairytale romance/Cinderella tropes; I believe Benophie's book An Offer from a Gentleman has a TON of problems including making Sophie bland and helpless; and I am hopelessly in love with show!Ben.

As best I can describe it, Luke Thompson's show!Ben is the answer to everything. I love that character and find him to be 'magical' moreso than I do the coupling of Benophie and their story. I believe that he could have a captivating love story with literally anyone and anything. Show me his forbidden romance with a dustbin and I will eat it up 😅 He is just such a well-written and acted character (despite being rather bland and directionless in S3 IMO). He is always kind-hearted and emotionally intelligent (looking askance at dear Anthony). He is adventurous and funny, creative and romantic, and yet not a pushover. He still exudes masculinity and sexual intensity. He is, in my opinion, the complete package. There's nothing he can't do. That's why he's my favorite Bridgerton sibling and why I fell hopelessly in love with him.

His love story with Sophie came second for me. I watched the show first, fell in love with Ben and then read his book. And I nearly chucked it into a fire. In my opinion his book and and show versions are so wildly divergent they may as well be two different people. Book!Benedict's flaws are well documented - the misogyny, toxic manipulation, violence, flippancy, selfishness, on and on... And the plot itself had plenty I didn't like - Sophie was passive and hollow, the sex and romance was toxic, some plotlines were nonsensical, some exposition was lazy. But the skeleton of a grand love story was still there, to Julia Quinn's credit. And when I imagine show!Benedict dropped into that plotline, it has so much potential to be beautiful and as you say: magical.

At it's core, Benophie's love story is uncomplicated. Especially in comparison to the other Bridgerton siblings. So many of the stories center around couples fighting with and/or denying love of their spouses until a deus ex machina comes along and resets their perspective - literally Daphne, Anthony, Colin and Eloise and I havent read the last 3 books so I can only imagine the pattern may repeat 😅 And Benophie do fight over Sophie's hidden identity but it never undermines Benedict's love for her. It's tropey as hell but they fell in love at first sight and never stopped loving each other. It is the issue of class and society that creates complications for their marriage, not their own miscommunications and misunderstandings. To me, that makes their story the most compelling, with the most satisfying pay off.

There is also the visual and action-oriented aspect of their romance. Imagine the sparkling delight of a midnight masquerade. The cozy interior of a country cottage. A glimpse at the 'downstairs' world of servants within the ton. These are realms only Benophie's story dives into. And so much happens other than conversations and balls. A thwarted attack, a nighttime dash through the rain, nursing back to health, lakeside flirtation, sneaking around the Bridgerton household, a chase in the London streets, fight sequences in a jail. There is - A LOT going on to hold one's interest. (I beg of you to tell me one 'action' sequence Polin had other than Pen falling out of a carriage 😜)

Again, when I picture show!Ben in this plot (or something similarly adapted) I am so frickin excited to see Luke Thompson blow us all away with his performance. I also hold out hope that Sophie can be fleshed out and given more agency as a character in the show. Her profile is starkly different from any of the other Bridgerton spouses, growing up cast into the servant class. It's important to expanding the world to show how people outside of the ton lived in this era and she is our vehicle to do that.

So while I fully acknowledge the story is modeled on the tired Cinderella trope, if I stop thinking about it as a paint-by-numbers fairytale, and cast the leads as show!Ben and a dynamically written Sophie, I see a story with immense potential to entertain, full of passion, perseverance, social struggle, action and unwavering love. Yeah, love-at-first-sight is cheesy in theory, but in the world of Bridgerton with show!Benedict waiting for us at a sparkling silver-themed masquerade? I think we're all going to fall irrevocably in love on sight 😉 That's the promise the show holds and I keep my fingers crossed they deliver.

(But just in case they don't, or if anyone is curious on my 'fixes' to the book, I am rewriting it in my fic Let Me Be Your Anchor which I am working to finish soon. The whole idea is plopping show!Ben into the book story and giving Sophie more to do.)

Thank you again for this ask! Sorry for the tome - I had a lot of fun answering 😅💙

[phoenixstark1708]

the daughter of an archangel

chapter 1

sooo..... this is my backstory in my marvel DR, major trigger warnings, this also crosses over into supernatural later, but i havent even written that yet.

trigger warnings: abuse, torture, blood, death, fucked up timeline, etc.

pairings: later will be sam/dean winchester, and even later will be bucky,

in this, endgame/inf war doesnt happen, i took plenty of creative liberties.

summary: (this is written in first-person) phoenix is a girl who was created by the nazi organization HYDRA, and she meets the winter soldier on a mission, i cant say much more without spoiling future chapters. will try to proofread but no promises.

word count: 2,654/10,649 - that ive written so far.

change of POV's will be indicated

“Get up you stupid pig!” the guard said, in a thick Russian accent, banging the cell door with his truncheon. He shone a flashlight in my eyes, making them burn from the lack of light for the past two days. I stretched out my sore muscles, wincing from the scabbed-over cuts all over my body. After days of no contact with anyone, just me and the cold, dark cell. Somehow being dragged away for training almost feels like a blessing. I stood and allowed him to cuff me. at this point, I know the drill. “so, Angel, how was your weekend?” He asked while holding my shoulder, guiding me out of the cell – the only place I’ve known as home for my whole life – literally. I was born in the damned bullpen. My mother died during birth, I guess having twins really had her beat.

On the way to the hell chamber – sorry, training room - I saw him, I saw Benjamin. For the first time in weeks, I saw my twin. He looked rough. Probably just had a sparring sesh with one of the winter soldiers. he’s always been smaller than me, But there was something different. he seemed especially weak. I haven’t eaten anything in what I assume has been around 4 days. He probably hasn’t either. They were always doing this, trying to weed out the weaker members. Its grim, but I knew he would die soon. It was clear that I was stronger, and if it came down to it, I would kill him without a second thought. After all, that’s how I was trained. I was bred, raised, and trained to be ruthless. And that is the only reason that I am still alive. HYDRA has no room for error.

As I walked into the training room, I saw the winter soldier, long, brunette hair, with a metal arm. The only time ive ever seen him is in cryo-sleep, he looked so peaceful, so harmless. The man standing before me was soemthing different entirely. His eyes were blue as ice, and just as cold. He looked right through me, almost like a drone. “this is her first mission. You will be supervising her.” he hands the man with a metal arm a file containing four pictures of senator james martin, whos been a public neusence for hydra for a while. The winter soldier grabbed me by the arm and dragged me through the door.

It was a quiet drive on the Harley, at the moment, we were just n full assassin gear. My small arms were wrapped around his waist, making him clearly tense up. His metal arm was glinting in the moonlight as we pulled into a nearby parking garage, a birdseye view of the gathering senator martin. “I will stay up here while you go inside. As many casualties as possible. No survivors.” He said gruffly, setting up the rifle. “They won’t let me in. I’m wearing a costume.” I said, my voice gravelly from days of no use. He glanced down at me for the first time, and gazed at me for a moment, before pulling out a T-shirt that had the senators face on it, and a pair of grey sweatpants. “Change into these, keep your weapons concealed until my signal.” I quickly stripped. he turned away, giving me privacy. I was more then used to being watched, so this was surprising. I fixed the too-large clothes, and looked harmless. Instead of looking like an eight-year-old assassin, I looked like a normal kid.

There was something in the winter soldier’s eyes that I didn’t recognise, almost like affection. I walked down the stairs of the parking garage, feeling his eyes on me the whole way. Slowly, I crossed the street, nearly getting hit by a truck that I didn’t know to look for. As I made my way to the entrance of the granite building, I noticed trucks outside, like the kind I saw at my home, - armoured trucks. I, of course thought this was normal. “Careful, there are hostiles in the building. Captain America and the black widow are protecting the target.” His voice came through my earpiece. “I don’t know who they are” I whispered back. “You will. They won’t want to hurt you, use that to your advantage.” And with that, he went radio silent.

As I walked barefoot through the large doors, I spotted a woman in a similar outfit to what I wear, only without the red skull. She spotted me immediately, and I tried to disappear through the crowd. I was unsuccessful. A man in a red, white, and blue uniform grabbed my arm gently, holding a shield in his other hand. “Who are you kid?” He peered down at me “I’m here to see my daddy.” I said, feigning panic. I pulled my arm out of his grasp and ran toward a random man, tugging on his shirt. Shield guy turned away before he could see the man push me away. I stayed by him, trying to convince the people that he was my father. I got a little turned around, when a perverted looking man grabbed my wrist “hey sweetheart. You’re gonna come with me now.” He said, his voice just as weird as him. The man in the jumpsuit put his hand on his shoulder “why dontcha leave the girl alone pal.” He dragged him away.

Just then, his signal came, by shooting the senator in the gut, taking him down. The panic set in immediately. People running around screaming like headless chickens. The man with the metal arm burst through the door, sealing off the only accesable exit. I grabbed the first person I saw, they just happened to be the senators daughter. She couldn’t have been more then seventeen; I snapped her neck. I unfurled my wings and tripped some old man with them. I stabbed him in his corroded artery, a fatal blow. Killing got easier the more I did it.

The fight went on like this for a while, until the red-haired woman pushed me to the ground “stay down kid.” seeing me pinned down, the man i was on the mission with began to make his way over to me. I waved my hand, and the woman went flying, hitting the wall with a thud. Oh yea, something I forgot to mention; I'm not a normal person. In addition to having my DNA spliced with the peregrine falcon, giving me wings, and the ability to fly, I was also experimented on with energy from the soul stone, one of the six infinity stones. Ergo, I had ‘powers’. The winter soldier stared at me, shocked, his brief moment of distraction caused him to get a wooden chair to the head. He shot the dude that hit him.

The man in the flag costume, and the woman ran. Smart. Tactical retreat. I ran to every person I saw, and killed as many as I could. Once we were sure that there were no more targets, the winter soldier grabbed me, and threw me on the motorcycle behind him.

We stopped at a motel that charged by the hour… if that tells you anything. “we will stay here for a while. You need to get clean, I know that the hoses hurt.” he said, a hint of compassion in his voice. Hes right. They used fire hoses to ‘clean up’ whenever any of us got dirty. I walked into the bathroom and stripped. I didn’t close the door, because I assumed I wasn’t allowed to. I didn’t know how to use the shower so I just sort of stared at it, waiting for it to turn on. The man walked in, turned the handle of the shower, and left. I jumped when water started to spurt out of the faucet. I stepped into the water slowly, gauging the temperature before completely immersing myself into it. My muscles involuntarily relaxed at the sensation of the warm water. I began rubbing the dirt off of my limbs when the winter soldier walked in.

He didn’t look at me, but made a damp washcloth and started cleaning his wounds. They were worse then I assumed, and I coudnt help but observe him while washing the rest of the dirt off of my body. I only sustained minor cuts and bruises in the fight, but he had deep lacerations on his face, presumably from the chair. I stepped out of the shower and stood there, a towering three-foot-seven-inches, short for my age. He glanced at me and handed me a towel while dabbing his wounds “whats this for?” I asked “dry yourself. They will notice our absence if were not back soon.” so, I dried myself off, and put on my uniform, running my fingers over the red skull with tentacles, like a squid. I giggled, imaging it wiggling its tentacles.

Bucky

The little girl was looking at her uniform, giggling. For a moment I thought of two young girls in brooklyn. I was a teenager with sisters… what? No, I wasn’t. I am a weapon for hydra. Whats going on? I was steadily bleeding from the prick who hit me with a chair, we needed to get back to base. She suddenly looked up at me, concern evident in her sweet, blue eyes. “are- are you okay? You're bleeding,” she frowned. “Let me help you. I can make people feel better.” I skeptically sat on a bed near where she was standing. She slowly reached over to me; I shied away when her hand got close to my wound, remembering the various punishments I've had over the years. I am a wild animal. I need to be controlled. She looked into my eyes, the child-like glimmer long gone. It's unfair; all children should have that. No. She is not a child; she is a weapon. That’s it- like me. She gently laid her small hand on my head near the cut. All of the sudden her eyes started glowing, a certain gold color I'd never seen before. Her hands began glowing the same, and my head started tingling.

I immediately felt better. I can't explain it, but she somehow lodged herself into my memory, unintentionally. And I knew I would never forget her. She looked at me worried, noting the glazed look in my eyes. “are you alright? I'm sorry if I hurt yo-” I cut her off “My name is Bucky,” I blurted out; I had no idea where that came from. “You need to call me Winter, or ‘the winter soldier’, otherwise they’ll kill us both” she looked at me confused and alarmed “okay… I will” “we need to go back.” so I took her small hand, gently, and led her to the HYDRA-issued motorcycle we came here on. The drive back to base was cold. I could feel it in my bones. I couldn’t help but wish I could help her warm up. I didn’t know what I was feeling, but I knew HYDRA wouldn’t like it. I am a machine. Not a man.

I rode up to the gate “солдат?” soldier? “миссия успешна. приветствую гидру.” mission successful. hail hydra. The gate opened, and we rode into the garage. She was immediately ripped off the back of the bike and dragged away. “you are late. The camera in your suit shows you made a ‘pit stop’. She had an effect on you. You will both be heavily punished for this.” no. I practically jumped off the bike. I grabbed the mans neck and snapped it before being sedated. The last thing I heard before I got knocked out was “well, after we make them watch, we’ll have to wipe him again.” I woke up strapped to a modified autopsy table. Modified so I was reclined enough so that I had a clear view of the girl. And she had a clear view of me. One of the doctors walked in with an array of surgical instruments “doctor- sorry- creator! Thank goodness! I was scared we were taken by the bad people!” the little girls face lit up with relief. The doctor sighed and placed his kit on a surgical tray, the knives clattering against the cold steel. “child, птичий урод.” bird-freak “you have been very bad. And you know what happens to bad children.” he put on surgical gloves, and picked up a Sickle Probe, the device that dentists use. He walked toward her slowly “creator, im sorry! It was a mistake! Please. Im sorry�� she cried out. however, she didn’t struggle against the restraints. “it is too late to apologise freak. You will be punished.” “yes sir.” she slumped against the autopsy table, keeping her fear-filled eyes on the doctor. He walked up to her small body, and turned off the magnetic cuff, allowing her arm to fall. The monster grabbed her arm, and stuck the hook of the sickle probe into the inside of her elbow. She began silently crying from the pain, blood slowly dribbling from the wound. He slowly dragged the hook down her arm, toward her wrist, tearing her skin. The blood was flowing heavily now, and he was trying to stifle her cries. After reaching her wrist, he put the probe down and picked up a rusty razorblade.

He moved to her chest, and drug the blade down her sternum, and to her lower stomache. She was crying freely now. “heal yourself.” she did as she was told, her eyes glowing gold, and the wounds shimmering as they healed instantly. He grabbed a klein tool – essentially a broader pliers. He walked to her bare feet, and clamped down on her small toe. He bent it to a sickening angle, causing the bone to snap with a disturbing CRACK. She screamed. He used the wire-clipping part of the klein tool to cut off a patch or skin on her foot. He grabbed a knife, and made slow, deep, and deliberate cuts all over her body. After nearly an hour, he decided hed had enough of that. he only reason she was still alive was because she wasn’t fully human – she couldn’t have been. “heal. Now. Not your foot though. You will deal with that.” she did as she was told. She was exhausted. She collapsed against the table before he shocked her with a set of jumper cables rigged up to a car battery. While watching this, I struggled against the restraints so much, my wrist began to bleed. Every time I screamed for them to let her go, my restraints would get an electrical charge. I was muzzled like a dog. Reminding me that I am no better then one. I am one. She screamed every time he cut her, shocked her, stabbed her, or tore the skin off her flesh. When she screamed, the building would shake. Not figuratively either.

She was clearly more powerful than she could see. She could easily kill him, she could kill everyone in this god forsaken building. HYDRA had control over her mind. But not in the same way as they had mine. They beat her down, made her feel powerless, made her think wrong is right, and right is wrong. I have to get her out of here. The doctor made his way over to me “judging by your reaction, she made an imprint on you. Well, time to forget her!” he said, laughing malevolently. “no! You cant-” I was cut off by a blow to my temple. They dragged me to the Memory Suppressing Machine. A white hot pain ripped through me. I couldn’t remember the mission, but I could remember a girl. A sweet, young girl. I knew I should protect her. As far as they're concerned, I don’t remember a thing. “Желание. Семнадцать. Ржавый. Рассвет. Печь. Девять. Добросердечный. Возвращение на родину. Один. Товарный вагон” my trigger words.

let me know if you wanna be tagged in pt2

[seven-stars-in-his-palm]

ok. i took a long, long time (song ref) but hi!!!!!!!!!

1. titanic fic (*cue shit-eating grin*). umum. im curious if there's anything about the morse code yet. or codes in gen actually. so. sentences with the word "code" :3

2. titanic vid!!!! Idk if you like the engineering aspects, but there still were a ton of other facts sprinkled in (spiral staircases, people that monitored coal balance, separate staff room for firemen, how they got air down there etc) https://youtube.com/watch?v=4begc_U8ygI#searching

3. surprise!! this is an interview. i have some Official Author questions for you (feel free to pick and choose, come back to this later, or just striaght up ignore lol):

3a. Do you have any authors (professional or not) that you aspire to be like one day?

3b. Following that up, are there any specific works (again, published, professional, etc or just amazing amateur works!!) that really inspire you?

3c. What made you start writing? I'm curious on anything that led to the conscious decision, of course, but additionally do you think there was anything you grew up with that "planted the seeds"? Was it any of the people from question 3a?

3d. What's the silliest (/pos) idea you've ever had for a fic? If you didn't write/publish it, why not? Was it a recent thing? If not, do you think your experience would have influenced that idea today?

if those dont make sense u can send me a messgae or something 👍👍👍 goodnight

ITS BEEN THREE DAYS but im here okay……. lets do this. hi pep :>

1) alas, i’ve been focusing on a lot of other things so i havent reached a written point of the Code Usage, which begins in like chapter 3-4. sorry man 💔 (progress has been made ! just not as much as i’d hope 😭)

2) FUN FACTS?!??!??!??!!?!!? IM WATCHING A DOCUMENTARY RN BUT IM YOINKING THIS RIGHT AFTER YIPPIE!!!!!!!!

3a) uhmmmmmmmm i dont exactly pay attention to authors as much as i pay attention to books but you know what. rick riordan. not because of anything he’s done or written but because of his audacity to write 20+ books in the same universe and still get 100000000000000 people 1000000% invested in it. i wanna write sequels forever. can i be him

3b) OHHHHHHHH UHM UHM UHM UHM the thing that got me into fanfic specifically was the fic “versability” (it was a gf fic about ‘what if ford never made the portal’, written like 2015-16, and yeah i did know of and even read a bit of fic beforehand but i was never into it) but just READING ? the land of stories by chris colfer, easy. mmmmmmmmm that was my fucking Thing. if i wasnt a baby at that time i would have WROTE. SO. MUCH. GOOD GOD. IT WAS MY THING. THE THING THAT GOT ME INTO NOVELS. URGH. alex my iconic mentally ill bisexual, conner my precious cynical boy. i need to read those again my GOD now i think about it that was fairytale fanfiction that happejed to bepublished and ohhhhh it was beautiful. im gonna read jt . iM GONNA DO IT!!!!

3c) in writing in general or just fanfic? for fanfic its that one day i had an gf fic idea (that i had to heavily revise/rewrite, but it did end up getting out eventually) that i hadnt read anything like it, and i wanted to see it. decided: hey, im shit at writing, but might as well!!!!!! 65k words later, its not a joke anymore. im a Writer now :) but as for in general, well ofc reading books. people told me in the past im creative and should get into book writing if you like reading so much. i decided well im gonna do it professionally, but might as well do something tiny, so i well uh wrote. im not gonna tell you but it certainly was Something. classic isekai mary sue dramatic plot hybrids etc etc etc but actually the queen the mc is “related” to is actually polyam and was in a relationship with both their dad and their mom and the big villain is the queen’s sister who’s pissed that both of her lovers ditched her for the human world (but actually they had to break up because because the society was not polyam friendly. there just happened to be a war after that). everything else was basic isekai except for that little crumble of lore. the queen was a bisexual. the dad was a pansexual. the mom was a lesbian. i think i ate there to be honest

3d) mmmmmm i gotta think. there was definitely a gf x amphibia au where ford got ploped in amphibia and the plantars IMMEDIATELY stole him and wrapped him up in their adventures right when the plot starting becoming a thing (early season 2). there’s one where stan and ford just….. climb a tree. it’s laced with a lot of philosophical talks straight from good omens knowledge but ultimately its just goody fun. mmmmm theres one where gabriel has no idea what crowley looks like, but he DOES know what Bildad The Shuite looks like, itd be tiny but so so so so funny. the gf/gomens crossover…..a human au based on that one tumblr post about a necromancer bringing people back from the dead to fuck with the killer and opening a discord support group….. the s1 humans + aziraphale being the victims, crowley the necromancer, and the s2 humans being the nosy outsiders who Notice things happens but can never say shit. oughhhh……… Yeah. yeah, thats good. most of these are recent except 4 the amphibia one, wouldnt change much about it even with the shit i know now EXCEPT being able to handle the relationships/emotions between the characters better, ive certainly gotten better at it and i love it. i havent published any bc either i started but couldnt finished, or just thought it was neat and moved on to plop it in the ideas folder and wait 4 inspiration.

OKAY THATS A LOT BUT THERE YOU GO sorry for the wait, man. you’re my best cupperty you know that right 🫵 ANSWERS!!!!! and ill work on titanic as fast as i can, it hasnt been forgotten !! i just gotta mow the grass….. (“short” fic wips)

[tillinghastcorporatemedia]

Often Dystopia (And how its gonna affect my art)

As much as there are some seriously good dystopian fiction. (yes im enamored with sci-fi) personally to me it almost feels tired but i understand the appeal and popularity

But how does this effect my art, and turn TillinGhast Corporate Media

Well first let me explain what TillinGhast Corporate Media is

TGCM was and is me taking what little part of my previous project that never took off and i never made it very far with, Tillinghast

Tillinghast was my outlet for my anger and isolation, and originally began after the death of my grandfather and the falling out of the people i had tried to gather for a band

I had written an ep dealing with my loss and an album that was inspired by election day 2016 and the amount of anger that i felt towards the establishment that i was already growing increasingly tired of

I ended that project after 2-3 years of trying to find vocalists/funds/and start making art

after that died i didnt touch any project and just wrote shitty electronic again, much like everytime i get bored with writing metal, but this time i had much more fun making just beeps and boops with no expectation of vocals and just making basic looping music

So where did TillinGhast Corporate Media come from?

If you notice i did keep the tillinghast name, as i found out when i first started this solo shit, isnt wasnt in use by any active musicians, and i only found one band that hadnt been active in over 8 years

But i wanted something new

something different

So i kinda let my focus on music, the thing i had been doing for over 10 years, go to the side to try and create elsewhere, right at the beginning of 2020

the first thing i thought i would try?

Writing a book

Which as a lot of people on here know, is really really really really really fucking hard to do, especially when you start this shit working a 9 hour overnight shift and writing on days off while everyone else you care about is asleep

And in figuring out what i had wanted to write then, i decided to not go big, but to try and keep me entertained, i needed more than just a few characters

So using a small chunk of info i had written down when i was trying to get into dnd and make my own scifi version of the game, i created a few planets, each with different species and histories and lore and economies

and i made a decision

Each planet would have different stories

to try and keep me entertained

which worked for about a year, and i havent updated since because i have trouble making myself create anything other than music, but i dont wanna get too recent or on a tangent

But why the name TillinGhast Corporate Media?

Well, because it sounds cool as shit. I used to love vaporwave and alternative genres and anything i could find that was "weird"

but also at some point i decided that if i do ever blow up, i want to hire other creatives and actually pay them well, and give them a place to really get out a message for the future

But its just me

So i get to have all the say

at least for now

But why a universe you ask? Why is this so damn long? Get to the point?

well at least for two of those im trying to be verbose and explain myself, and honestly if you read this far i love you and hope that youll stay here on this journey with me

I've always wanted to be part of a group, art creative, touring band, etc.

Ive gotten close only once or twice, but ive always been diy and taught myself shit so i figured i wanted to combine all of my loves into one thing, one giant sandbox where i can be creative in my decisions

And once again, i didnt want it to be just me. So TillinGhast Corporate Media will always be changing and evolving as i learn more about this giant world im having to navigate

I will say there will probably errors or fails, but i want this to be inclusive and open and loving so other people can use this as a means to escape, if even for a little bit, the harsh reality we all face.

Much like i got an escape in music and books as a kid and teenager

So why a universe? because a universe is big and can hold many stories and many perspectives, much like a library can hold many different pieces of knowledge

So to get to the final point, for those of you who actually made it this far based on the title

TillinGhast Corporate Media both as myself and as a future idea or brand

at least for now

Will not ever be a dystopia story

I have not forced myself to change and grow and evolve and continue to sit in my negativity and apathy and just general poopy pants view of the world

To not try with all my might to maybe write something that while not a utopia, is not dystopia and imagines a brighter, better, future where people maybe dont have to worry about as much, because they learned from our awful horrible past and actually refuse to repeat any of it

To try and make this more about characters and stories and music and the things that make myself and others smile, instead of regurgitated dystopias where even basic life is rough

does this mean everything will be all flowers and butterflies and my little pony?

absolutely the fuck not

Truth is often stranger than fiction and anything can happen even in a shiny place, but the point is to not be a negative nancy and have a bunch of shitty stuff going on all the time

One of the planets is a floating colony with what little remains of the human race

One planet is basically in the middle of an uprising of an exiled group

The book im writing (kinda spoilery but idk if ever ill finish this damn thing) literally has an act of terrorism being planned from someone who was radicalized by a really bad group that is basically space religion and its many parallels

All of my short stories are slice of life stuff that happens in a few scenarios where each character reacts to an outside force

But this wont ever be some dragged out for purely entertainment type angsty or edgy or anything like some books do with trauma

i want to look at stuff like we're building to something better, not something worse. optimistic but not utopia or something like that

(honestly this point ive already kinda gotten myself choked up so im gonna wrap it up)

But TillinGhast Corporate Media is basically my idea for a better future

and maybe im wrong and my stuff sucks and i need to change it

i have no idea because no one really follows my shit

so i just do what i want within the dumb boundaries and expectations i place on myself

but it is has been better before and it will get better again, and i am tired of that place being only in my head

so im creating this big huge universe with aliases that i call "artists" so it looks like there is actual musicians in this universe, i at one point started on a medium length animation series, and im trying to use my shitty computer to learn 3d shit

So stick around, at least you'll get some music out of it

and on that note i will mention i do have a few singles and 2 albums out, all of which is on youtube and streaming sites (its on spotify but i fucking hate spotify both as a company and some of the people they sponsor stream on any other site please you'll give more money to your favorite artists)

[letgraysonsheart]

Hello friend!! For the most recent fic meme questions:🌈🎀🎈🤲

hii! thanks for the ask <3

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?:

Hmm anything medical, which was the biggest struggle for the ric fic. trying not to go too deep into the medical aspect because i just dont know the field. I struggled with being just vague enough for it to be convincing but not dramatically wrong.

I also once wrote a drabble that focused on Steph and Bruce, which I struggled with because I write and read so little of the dynamic. I remember being proud about how it turned out because of that.

🎀give yourself a compliment about your own writing:

Maybe not what the question is really about but: i guess im proud of how i always write what i want and when i want? Im not one to be pushed into things. I love prompts, dont get me wrong, but complaints or nagging wont make me do something. I also often feel like I can write a pretty good dialogue/speech.

🎈describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change?

Ive been writing fanfic for a loong time (over 13 years i think) so while ive always been one for hurt/comfort ive certainly grown as a writer. My first fics was big on the self-insert Mary Sue stuff (cause i was like ten years old.) I havent written anything like that in a loong time, and im not one for OCs. I lean more into emotions now over actual action. I've been fairly consistent about how little romance and smut happens in my fics, because I've never felt good at writing that. I love some good old platonic or family angst., but the style changes slightly as I grow older and learn more. Nowadays I write a lot of long conversations, and tension building until someone (mainly Dick in my DC stuff) explodes. Currently, I seem to be loving writing some good bittersweetness and melancholy.

🤲what do YOU get out of writing?:

I often write stuff cause its something I want to read. At least thats what pushes me into writing and then it grows into more. I also love the feeling of suddenly being taken over by some creative spirit and writing pages on pages in one sitting. Its an amazing outlet for stress and emotions. AND of course, i love sharing with others and seeing people actually like it, seeing responses of «THAT IS YOU?» when talking about my fics online, and people appriciating what i made.

Let's Get ((REAL)) fic writer asks

[flowers-that-sing]

the Wednesday series is so silly goofy for even IMPLYING that gomez and morticia wouldn't know how to cover up a murder properly, let alone that Wednesday would be unironically scandalised by learning her parents had killed someone. like...do the clowns writing this show actually understand the premise/ethos of The Addams Family? why does this show constantly have them allying with/grovelling at the feet of institutions?? why bother making a show about Wednesday and by extension the Addams family if you're not going to honour their competent oddness and satirical anti-establishment roots? and that's before we even get into the weird ass colourblind racism all throughout this show. I cannot believe there's a scene in this show where morticia addams, a white woman, tells a Black man he has "no idea what it's like not to be believed." I can't believe that the ringleader of the bullies who is bigotedly abusing the "outcasts" is a young Black boy. The antiblackness is insane. like, really? it's so obvious there are next to no poc in significant creative roles on this show which is so fucked considering they not only made Wednesday Latine, but made her ancestory an integral part of the series. I feel like a broken record at this point, but surface level diversity in casting means absolutely nothing so long as the people holding creative control are white. It's just elaborate puppetry, and too many of you fall for it everytime. All this show does is use actors or colour to pay lip-service to the "whitewashing" of history, while it the show itself is written and directed almost exclusively by white people. As far as I can tell there is one director of colour, Gandja Monteiro, who directs 2 mid season eps. Every single other person in creative decision making roles is white. It's an absolute JOKE.

i havent actually finished it yet and i cant comment on like half of this but from the parts i do get ur so right ty for sending this !!!

you address a lot of important points, ty for bringing this up

there is really a lot of hypocrisy in it too

i dont rly have anything to say that you havent said already but yeah .

[cryptidfuckery]

Do you plan/write a story in chronological order or just put it down as it comes to you? Trying to figure out how far afield the latter puts me, even if there’s not a “right” way to do it.

hi heres some completely unrequested writing tips sorry for the long post :) i misread the ask before i started writing so. yeah. in short i don't write chronologically, except when I'm writing the beginning?

the first scene i wrote for this is literally the rising climax of the story. i had no idea what I wanted to do with it from there but it just kept evolving until now I'm writing a whole year spanned over 20 chapter fic.

When I started this one (mind you i havent written in like 7 years) I just wrote what came to me, what ideas made me excited. Basically whatever was bringing me joy to write, whatever was fun to expand it into. Purely self indulgent for myself to reread over and over and over, no real plan to post it.

Then I got the brainworm about it and couldn't stop thinking about it and I knocked out over 20k in a month which was. Also due to me being massively depressed and distracting myself.

But in this time I got a sketch book and started planning out a bigger story, something to compliment the original idea and inspiration while also giving a satisfying story between the characters (also figuring out overarching plot, drew out a plot mountain at one point to see where I was lacking, jotting down ideas just to get them down so I could let them simmer in the back of my mind, jotting down phrases or ideas for dialouge, etc) basically just. playing in the space and seeing what ended up feeling most satisfying as a whole story

WOOF OKAY THERES MORE im so sorry you caught me at 1am and im high

Once I got the overall idea of what I wanted to do, I started mapping out chapters, but mostly getting a rough idea of where i wanted things to go in the story. I am being VERY diligent to remember that this is all mutable and nothing is set in stone and its MORE FUN that way

At this point I'm still just writing whats enjoyable and coming to me naturally. Once I started solidifying more of the plot and ideas I started working on some of the parts that just needed to be done re: the very beginning. And i fucking hate the very very beginning right now i cant wait to rewrite it but i am NOT LETTING MYSELF DO THAT.

DO NOT GO BACK AND EDIT SIGNIFIGANTLY. If you catch yourself rereading it and adjusting a few things, fine. But if you find any major inconsistencies either make a mental note or leave a comment or something and then just leave it. It'll be there to fix later. It doesn't matter. Leave a fuckin [insert name of kitchen utensil here] if you don't remember. Who cares. It's your first draft.

OKAY now onto how I've been writing the scenes that don't come as naturally to me

I let the scene simmer for a while in my brain. I entertain different ideas and approaches and jot down anything that feels right. Usually for me I'll get a clear line of dialogue or interaction that feels like a good creative starting point

2. I listen to music when I write bc I have adhd, but im curious to know if this would work for other people too! I have a playlist I curated for the fic that I have listened to. A lot. A lot. Like a Lot. Like most mornings on my way to work. this 1) helps me play in my head with the blorbos and 2) gives me a good emotional basis to bounce ideas off of if I'm stumped on a scene.

I literally just gave my friend @docninj this advice. Pick a song that represents the emotion you're trying to convey in the scene youre trying to write. Could be overall emotion, emotion of the narrator, main character's emotions, whatever. Then play that song on repeat until you don't really hear it anymore. Then try writing. I'll also switch songs if the mood of the scene changes. For me it helps me bounce the emotions I'm trying to write off of something that represents it? god dude idk.

god that was a lot idk why i wrote all of it but hey if it helps someone what the hell.

[kenmagoesblep]

For the writer ask meme: 5, 8, 37!

5. Share one of your strengths.

i feel like i got a good grasp on how to convey and evoke certain emotions in my writing as the years went by!! its something i always admired in the fics and books that i enjoyed, and as a big feeler myself, i always wanted to get these feelings across thru what i do as well. it fills me with joy to see when things land gldskhgdslk

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

a part of me feels like this is cheating bc theres a lot of prose in between but i have to be honest and put it down here

“Before you go…” once they’re done with their meal and simply sitting in quietness as the food settles in their stomachs, Giyuu speaks out, reaching for Kyojuro’s hand over the table. “I wanted to talk to you about something. If you let me.”  Giyuu tentatively places his hand over Kyojuro’s fingers, looking at him with purpose . Kyojuro’s hairs stand up at that and his heart — the poor, aching thing — starts running again as he nods vehemently.  That’s the cue for Giyuu to fully hold his hand, get up from the table and gently guide him back to the couch. Oh, that fateful couch. Giyuu lets go of his hand once they get there and sit down, right next to each other.  “I’ve been thinking about… A lot of things lately,” he starts, bowling his hands in a tight fist over his knees and worrying at his lip, initially not looking at anything in particular. “Mostly about us.” Giyuu glances briefly at Kyojuro, letting out a brief sigh before speaking again. “At first, I thought it’d be best to let bygones be bygones and… not keep you waiting for me, when I never felt worthy of your time,” his eyes drift down. “But after what you said to me last time you were here, and… With a little pushing from my family, I decided to look for help.” There’s a pause for deep breaths. Kyojuro didn’t realize he was also holding his breath until now. “I got into some medication and started seeing a therapist. And it’s been… really hard, looking at myself. Or what’s left of me,” he mutters those last words, looking at his own hands like he can see his own broken pieces. “It doesn’t feel much better, but it’s a start.” There’s a pause there that Kyojuro feels like filling with encouraging words, but he doesn’t. Giyuu has more to say, certainly, he just needs some time to recollect his thoughts. He takes a few deep, grounding breaths in silence, tightening his fists so much his joints go white, before looking back at Kyojuro again with a newfound determination.  “Therapy helped me see a lot of things,” he says, voice more certain now. “Some things were ugly, some were not, but mostly… It helped me see that I can only decide what I feel about things and about myself, not what others feel. And I may not understand why you would want to be with me, or feel like I really even deserve it, but… I want that, too.”  There’s another moment of hesitation as Giyuu chews on his lips, cheeks growing pink, as he reaches out for Kyojuro’s hand again and weakly laces their fingers together.  “I love you, still, Kyojuro,” he whispers solemnly. “Would you give me another chance?”

the reason is... kinda personal i guess? its something i havent spoken much in any public platforms but i think its been long enough since i posted this chapter (2021 holy shit?!) and the only person that could possibly be offended by it basically doesnt care abt my existence anymore, so here it goes!

this is an excerpt from my biggest fic to date, which was a collab fic i wrote with a close friend of mine at the time, but i wrote the last chapter on my own. not only did we start having creative disagreements at some point (that i took way too long to voice), but i also fell in love with them, confessed and got rejected, that spelled the end of our collaborative effort since they decided that, when they said "i'll let you take creative lead for the finale" they meant "i'm never touching this fic again, not even with a 7 feet pole".

so i had a lot of complicated and raw feelings abt what had happened between us and the fic, but ultimately i managed to finish the fic on my own thru the sheer power of wishful thinking and projection! this specific scene felt so monumental to me and i'm happy about how it turned out to this day - and ironically glad they never read this part.

37. Talk about your current wips.

oooo i'm so excited!! i havent been writing much the past month or so since getting into a new job (working as a cook is so hectic and tiring istg!! everydays 50/50 either i'm living the dream or i'm questioning my career choices) but i've been working on three akeshuake fics that are bringing me a lot of joy to think abt even in the most tiring days!!

one of them is a silly 4+1 fic where joker gets hit with the rattled ailment (mechanic in game that turns players into rats) on purpose to spend time with akechi

the second one is my ghost hunters AU that i'm writing for the akeshuake AU zine, in which joker is a medium who runs a paranormal investigation channel on youtube and he invites akechi - who makes videos debunking and exposing fake paranormal videos - for a collab

and the last one is a more personal project, exploring akechi's character thru the lens of him being demisexual and developing feelings for joker !!

[eliwray]

Okay. I'd like to offer up that this attitude is more about a pervasive fandom habit than the actual content of the franchise, and I like to gently offer that you're doing yourselves and other fans a disservice by buying into this. It's very easy to train ourselves to constantly scan for shark jumping. Its kind of countercultural tho, to give franchises room to adapt and evolve.

But let's look at this. Because in all honesty, MCU pre- and post-2015 is p much exactly the same ratio of creative development vs cash grab. And Marvel has always done p solidly on both counts.

The phase 1 & 2 linchpins were written and directed by Joss Whedon ffs, which means beyond on set abuse, actors also got interchangeable glib one-liners instead of characterization. Being a Steve fan, the essay i could write is how Whedon has no clue who Steve is in particular, but Im sure there's plenty more to write from other character perspectives. Phase 1 & 2 is where the MCU first grew into The Tony Show with Some Supporting Characters, where the overwhelming focus was on cishet white guys, where the universe stands still while long plans develop, where we got two films a year if we were lucky. It has always taken patience to wait for the MCU to piece together anything theyre aiming for, but theyve always built their brand on long games. I remember piecing together over a cpl years who the orig 4 Avengers would be. It took ages to see Modern Steve evolve. It took ages to see Nat get ANY characterization besides hot chick. This isnt a place built on instant gratification.

Meanwhile. Post 2015 is the entirety of the Black Panther franchise, built on foundational rships. It's two separate deep dives into Wanda's grief and loss and character. Its exponentially more women characters. Its a whole Dr Strange that I had no intention of finding this complex. Its a stunning story about the Partition of India and its impact on Kamala and her family. Its Loki *finally* having something interesting to do! And multiple people to be vulnerable with! Its the entirety of MCU Peter Parker. Its Nebula's amazing arc. Its the introduction of the Bradley family and John Walker, both of which extend and complicate what the Cap mantle means in world. Its Sam finding his Falcon, and his next big challenge. Its Bucky in therapy and finding peace and personhood. Its Nat's Russian family, and Alexei and Yelena coming back to keep building together. Its She-Hulk offering a new absurd humor. Its the seeds of Young Avengers. Its a brilliant re-work of the Kree-Skrull conflict and how that impacts individuals.

And this is just from one single, pretty limited fan perspective tbh; somebody else could have an equally long list of amazing relationships that are entirely different. I havent touched on Eternals or Hawkeye or Moon Knight or Carol or Shang Chi or Guardians or Antman or much Thor or... THIS was the point of expansion, so they could capture more of us and our money. Beyond, like, Endgame, which was wall to wall splash pages, theres rich rships and a MUCH broader group of differing characters unfolding in all of these shows and movies.

If you prefer the non-expanded space and original characters, thats cool, Im not here to trash that. Weve all got our personal preferences. But really, please own that and delve into that so we can all understand the canon texts in more depth from your perspective, ESPECIALLY considering the representation issues they are improving on since. If you're just not over not getting specific plot points you wanted, say that too, and we can all commiserate or ignore as desired. If you havent been around since the start, and absorbed pre-2015 in 3 days time, own that bc it shapes your perspective too. Real time 2008-2015 was a slog. If youre just exhausted all over, and dont know how you want to plug into the current MCU, I mean real fair, that makes a lotta sense. If you truly wanna look at how capitalism and militarism have profoundly shaped every single second of this franchise from the start, lets do it! That doesnt get talked about enough!

Because boiling the point down to "all true fans hate the franchise now" is honestly something that diminishes fandom as a whole. It helps us all train ourselves for less joy. I dont think thats your intention, its just a thing fandom does, but it really doesnt feel like we can afford this anymore. We're all getting too desperate for joy.

The thing is, it also absolutely bleeds through and impacts indie creators as well, diminishing our trust in ourselves to build something new that our audience won't be fickle and mean about. Consider what attitides feed you and the folks around you too. Consider how you treat the folks making stuff for you. The whole "so-and-so won't see what you say but your friends will" absolutely applies here. I guarantee you indie creatives are paying more attention to everybodys treatment of content than you realize. Maybe even including you, with your complicated rship to your own writing or art? What thoughts and fears do you have about how audiences will respond to your stuff? What kind of audience do we want for ourselves, and what does that say about what kind of audience we want to be?

If you dont hate the mcu are you really an mcu fan

[golden-gypsy]

Oh Tumblr is an amazing place when find your people. Sometimes it takes a while but I'll bet you'll make lots of wonderful friends. I have and I can't imagine not having them in my life to talk to.

I don't write sadly. I have never been blessed with the creative gene but I love to read. That's fantastic that you want to write a novel eventually and what a smart idea to start with fic! I will be sure to read yours when time allows.

And this is auch a fun idea and a great way to get to know others. The holidays can be so hectic so it's nice to have one small thing that is just about bringing joy to someone else.

The novel you plan on writing, what genre will it be?And other than writing and music so you have any other interests? I love your url btw. May I ask what it is in reference to?

Until next time

🤶🏼

Hello! Thanks so much for the lovely ask!

Have you been on tumblr long? I'll admit, I have a bit of a social media phobia 😅 so I kinda surprised myself when I started this thing. Thought doing this secret santa would be a good way to come of my social media shell 😊.

Yeah, I thought it would be good practice to try to write a mulit-chapter fic before attempting the other idea I had 😂. For all I know, I could be a horrid writer 😅. I got an image of a scene in my head when listening to the song Rearviewmirror by Pearl Jam and just kinda started writing a story around that. It was originally with all OCs, but then I rewrote it as fanfiction to post. Wasn't originally gonna post it, but I figured that would be good practice too haha. I actually haven't even gotten to the original chapters I wrote in the story yet...

Oh and don't feel obligated to read my fic at all! I love readers and feedback, but don't feel like you have to read it ❤.

The idea I have for the novel... I guess I would say it's more in the fantasy genre, with some romance in it. I've written down alot of ideas for it, characters, general plot, etc, but I havent started writing it yet. Fantasy is my favorite genre to read (my fic is not that genre though). What is your favorite genre to read?

Well, I like reading, playing video games when there's time. I have an art degree and recently got a job teaching. My areas are drawing and painting. What are some of your hobbies?

Where did golden gypsy come from? Of course you can ask! But, its not really anything too creative I'm afraid haha. Golden is a reference to type of dog I have. Gypsy is from the Fleetwood Mac song (they're one of my favorite bands).

Yes, the holidays can be so busy, but I love it. Do you have alot of shopping you do for the holidays? I'm not done with mine yet, but I hope to finish next weekend.

Thanks for your lovely messages so far! I hope you have a great weekend!

And... sorry if I was too wordy. That tends to happen sometimes.

[threewaysdivided]

Have you ever abandoned a fanfic? Just curious. I havent started one because i know that i WILL abandon it and feel shitty about it.

Hey nonnie,

Sounds like you’re in a bit of a bind right now 😔

To answer your question: no, there hasn’t been a point where I’ve personally discontinued a posted fic. 

I think I might be a little bit like you in that regard.  I’ve had quite a few potential story or scene ideas over the years, but either I didn’t feel like those stories headed towards a satisfying end-point or I just didn’t feel like committing to the work of fitting those scenes into something that would be interesting (or even understandable) for another person.   When I start a large creative project I like to have an idea of what the end-product will be, or at least some specific creative goals to aim for.  I need to feel as though I have a good chance of seeing a project through before I commit.

That being said (if it’s okay) I’d like to talk to the sentiment you expressed: that there’s something you’re not starting because in your mind giving up is inevitable and you’ll feel bad when (not if) that happens. 

To me, it kind of sounds like you’re already feeling shitty about it?  Like, you haven’t done anything yet but you’re already anticipating the worst possible outcome and emotionally punishing yourself for it. 

If that’s the case, then why not just try it anyway?  The time will pass regardless.  And what’s the worst that could happen?  You start writing a story, you post a few chapters, and then maybe you feel like the story isn’t going the way you wanted, or you get frustrated by a creative roadblock, or you find yourself losing interest, or maybe it’s just that other things come up that you’d rather spend your time on… and so your story becomes one of the literally thousands of discontinued fics that exist.  Maybe a few invested readers are disappointed for a while, maybe it slips quietly into being forgotten…  or maybe the part that you did post inspires someone else, or another fanwriter adopts and continues it, or you yourself find inspiration again and come back to it somewhere down the line.

It's worth pointing out that the vast majority of fanfics are either currently-unfinished works-in-progress or in some state of hiatus/ discontinuation/ being abandoned.  Many of the fics that inspired me are either discontinued, have sequels that were discontinued or were written by fan-authors who had previously discontinued other projects.  In fact, several of my favourite published original series are in some state of cancellation, indefinite hiatus or have endings/continuations that myself and others prefer to ignore, but that doesn’t make the revisit experience any less enjoyable.

a good plot was one which made good scenes. The ideal mystery was one you would read if the end was missing. - Raymond Chandler in the introduction to Trouble is My Business, 1950

Still, that doesn’t really change the fact that it can feel really shitty to pull the plug on a creative project.   Even if you never showed anyone, it’s okay to feel disappointed or frustrated at yourself for not reaching a personal goal.  That’s a perfectly normal reaction, so long as you don’t let it spiral into self-punishment or something self-destructive.  It can be easy to fall into a state of analysis paralysis or procrastination, where the fear of “failing” or choosing the “wrong option” means you just don’t start, or you keep stalling because you expect to feel guilty at the end for not finishing sooner (something which I’m definitely prone to doing).  There’s also the risk of falling off the other end into sunk-cost fallacy or trying to overcommit your time, leading to things like sleep-procrastination and burnout.

Some of that might come down to broader personal challenges like overcoming perfectionism, depression, self-criticism or negative self-talk, learning how to be more gentle and reasonable about personal goal-setting/ expectation-management, and finding ways to celebrate the progress/ achievements you did make, even if you didn’t achieve everything.  If these are things you struggle with, then it might help to talk to someone about it or even seek therapy if you’re able to (I am currently doing both of those things and it genuinely helps).

You might also like to check out my writer self-care and digital self-care tags, where I’ve been squirreling away helpful advice from other users.

In the meantime, here are some practical ideas that might help your story to cross the finish-line:

#1: Keep the scope small You don’t have to jump into a big multi-chapter ensemble fic as your first project.  If you’re worried about sustaining creative energy (or even just having limited time) then maybe single-scene or one/two-shot stories would be a better place to start.  Pick a project which you feel confident that you can finish, and which lets you see and enjoy a tangible result quickly.  Consider using AO3’s series feature to assemble short stories into a bigger narrative that you can build piece-by-piece.  Set your bar low, start small and work your way up as you develop your creative workflow and stamina.

#2: Outlining might help you I don’t know where you fall on the planner-to-pantser scale of writing styles, but having a roadmap for where and how far the story is going can give you a goal to keep focussed on.  I’ve previously written a post series with some tips for outlining stories: [Part One] [Part Two].

#3. Know what you want from your story I talk about this in Part One of the Outlining Series, but understanding what motivates you to start or keep writing can help you to understand where the creative drive for a project comes from.  Maybe you’re writing purely for yourself, maybe it’s to share with a community, maybe it’s in response to another story or maybe it’s because you just want this to be a thing that exists. 

For example, my long-fic Deathly Weapons started because I couldn’t find a story like it in the archives, and now I keep writing it because I want to see whether I can pull those things off for an audience who don’t have my behind-the-scenes notes.  Meanwhile, there are a lot of other potential ideas that I haven’t written down because those are just for me – I get what I need from them just being in my head and I don’t feel a need to codify a “canon version” or do all the drudge-work of making those ideas accessible for someone else.

#4. Find a cheerleader Sometimes it’s good to have writing buddies who are also interested in your story and can help to sustain enthusiasm, inspiration and excitement for your project.  Whether that’s finding a beta-reader, joining/starting a discord server, reaching out to commenters on early chapters, roping in IRL fandom friends or finding community in other places.

#5. Your first attempt won’t be your best and that’s okay I do a lot of cooking and a common rule there is “the first pancake always comes out wonky”.  You need to get a feel for what you’re working with before things start to flow.  Similarly, the first draft almost always feels rough… because it’s purpose is to be a rough draft.  Don’t be dispirited if it’s not immediately perfect, or as good as what you pictured in your head.  Each time you iterate/edit you have a chance to identify something you’d like to do differently and experiment with moving it closer to the effect you want.

#6. Set milestones and consider an exit strategy If you feel like there is a possibility that you might (or might need to) pull the plug on a larger project before the end, then it might ease your mind to have a plan for how and where you would want to draw things to a close. 

This is something I have for Deathly Weapons. It’s a very long story that I planned at an age when I had more time and energy to spare, crossing two fandoms (of which one is getting pretty old and the other died of sudden-onset seasonal rot) and something I’ve been aware of for several years now is that one day I might need to call it quits, whether due to lack of time, inspiration-loss or for mental health reasons there have been times where this fic (and especially the attached fandom-rot) has been legitimately not good for my headspace.  I’d like to finish DW and I don’t like the idea of leaving either the characters or my readers without closure, but I also recognise that it simply might not be possible.  My compromise is that if that day comes I’m going to polish up all my story-notes and make them available so that the full narrative at least exists in some form.  In the short term I want to make it to the end of the Mission 2: Flashpoints-Equilibrium set.  Once I get there I’ll take stock and see if I feel like the Mission 3: Something Wicked set is still on the cards, and so on and so forth.

#7. Remember that fanfic is a hobby You can certainly learn valuable things and meet wonderful people through writing, but ultimately this is something you do for fun, because you find it inherently rewarding or compelling.  It’s a knitting club.  Sure it might feel a little bit worse to close down a project that other people are invested in but, just like with any other hobby, it’s perfectly fine to take a break or move on if it’s not something you enjoy anymore, if it’s effecting you in a way you don’t like, or if you don’t like the particular group of people you’re currently doing it with.  It’s your free-time to use, and it’s fine to weigh options and decide that it would be more fulfilling or better for your health to pursue something else.

Above all else, remember that it’s okay to “fail” 

I feel like this is something we don’t talk about enough as a collective (and it’s definitely something I wish I had been told more).  Sometimes you try things and it doesn’t work out.  Sometimes you screw up.  Sometimes you give up.  That’s alright.  It doesn’t change your worth as a person.  Put it down to experience: it still teaches you things.  And you can always try again.

Be kind to yourself, okay? 💚