#cause human decency I guess

[stubz]

"Teacher Kim can my friends come over into the centre?"

"Sorry bud but they're not part of the centre so I'm not allowed."

.

"Teacher Kim can Fleet have some of the treats?"

"I really wish I could but since they're not part of the centre and Max really doesn't want another incident I can't."

..

"I wish Teacher Kim would let us bring you guys in." grumbled the youngling.

The others groaned in agreement.

"Okay kids time to come in! The suns are too hot now and it's time to eat!"

The children walk begrudgingly towards the centre through the tall orange grass. The suns on this planet were so hot that even the children didn't complain when it was time to go back inside.

The ones part of the youngling centre made their way inside, waving goodbye to their friends who were not.

"..five, seven, aannd ten! Wow small group today." The human turned to head inside with the younglings when they realized something.

"...where are your parents?"

"Ours or Quin's?"

"Everyone's."

"They're in a meeting."

"Where?"

"On the ship." Juno pointed up.

"Do you know how long they'll be gone."

"I don't know. They left in a hurry...I think they forgot us."

"...get in." the human sighed and walked inside.

"REALLY!?" screamed the children.

"Teacher Kim you said that kids who aren't part of the centre can't come in!"

"I know I know and they're not! But I can't just leave three unsupervised kids out in this heat! Now get in, its hot and Quin your face is redder than usual."

...

"You get water, you get water, everybody gets water! Now who's hungry?"

Hands go up.

"So everyone. Alrighty then."

"Why is she letting us have water and food?" whispered Quin.

"I don't know...maybe it's a apex thing?" whispered back Juno. Her little brother simply chugged his third cup of water.

"Not an apex thing," replied Xw. "I think it's a pack thing?"

"Not a pack thing!" shouted Nova. "Most packs only share food with babies and the sick. Its a herd thing."

"Nope." said Marl.

"Herds only share with those who are family or have family status." explained Tarlak.

And on went the conversation. Each child trying to figure out what type of dynamic humans have. Meanwhile their teacher looks on with amusement.

....

"Oh my stars I am SO SORRY! Thank you so much human Kim!! I swear I thought I grabbed them when I brought their bags with me!" stressed the parent hugging her children with two arms while shaking the humans hands with the other two.

"No worries!" she smiled.

"And kids, I'm so sorry! You must be starving!"

"Oh I gave them some food, so they might not be that hungry. Also Judo had lots of water so he may want to use the bathroom first."

"Oh, how much do we owe you?"

"Sorry?"

"How much do we have to give you to replace the food and water they had?"

"Uh nothing?"

"...huh?"

"They were hungry and thirsty and I just did what any other adult-human! Would do...it's a human thing."

"....alright then. Thank you very much human Kim. Come along children."

And thus the younglings and adults learned what dynamic type the humans have. The human type. Which is honestly pretty stupid to the adults because just giving food to unknown children who aren't even their species? Are they trying to go extinct??

[gifti3]

demon x human is great cause u get to watch two people change one another in very opposite ways

[tgcg]

an open fly walking

i didnt like this one but i thought id finally air it out since its been sat in my folders for months now

TG: hey karkat

CG: YEAH?

===

TG: you ever noticed you like

TG: walk weird

CG: WOW, OKAY.

CG: HAVE *YOU* EVER NOTICED THAT I DON'T GIVE A SHIT?

TG: pff

===

TG: no listen because i got my ears scoping that shit im like a scouter for dude activity

TG: ok maybe me mentioning it to you is gonna fuck up your ecosystem or something but

TG: you have the heaviest feet of the century man

CG: I DO???

TG: just thrust them straight down into the ground like youre trying to homebrew a san andreas fault

TG: viciously tamping on tectonic plates hoping for top score on the richter scale

TG: waging war against solid particles and the basic flow of gravity

TG: i could ID those footfalls out of a million i mean it

CG: SERIOUSLY?

===

TG: i mean theres nothing wrong with it but

TG: yeah

CG: I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU'RE FUCKING WITH ME RIGHT NOW.

TG: im not fucking with you striders honor

TG: when have i ever lied to anybody about anything

CG: NOT UNPACKING THAT QUESTION WITH YOU TODAY.

CG: BUT SHIT, HOLD ON. LET ME SEE.

TG: yeah take the umbrella go over there and just walk to me

CG: ON IT.

===

===

TG: see you just kinda slam em straight down dude

CG: THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY RIOTOUS FUCKING JOKE OF A LIFE.

TG: dont your feet ache

===

CG: MOOT POINT. THIS MIGHT SOUND INSANE BUT I'VE ACTUALLY HAD MY STRUT PODS FOR A WHILE. ANY KIND OF PAIN THIS WOULD'VE BEEN CAUSING WOULD BE TOTALLY FILTERED OUT OF MY SPONGE BY NOW AS BACKGROUND NOISE.

TG: damn i didnt think that through

TG: my shades

CG: ALRIGHT, GET BACK UNDER THE SHITTING UMBRELLA AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME.

TG: look ive fucked myself over here too i dont have shit to clean these with

TG: ugh

===

TG: guess its karma

CG: HOLY FUCK. HOW DID I NEVER NOTICE THIS BEFORE?

TG: i dunno but im gonna assume having a dad thats a literal crab monster is probably a contributing factor

TG: im guessing thats not a great role model for this kinda thing

TG: just conjecture i mean

CG: YOUR ENVY IS OVERWHELMINGLY OBVIOUS DAVE. AS A DISCLAIMER, HE WOULD'VE ABSOLUTELY KICKED YOUR ASS.

TG: yeah probably

CG: THAT'S PRETTY MUCH ALL THERE IS TO SAY ON THE MATTER.

===

TG: but see bro had me stringent on feather feets

TG: i bet i could slip across a bike horn warehouse with nary a fucking toot

CG: HAHA. ASSUMING YOU DON'T MAKE A TOTAL ASS OF YOURSELF, AS PER USUAL.

CG: IF YOU WEREN'T CONSTANTLY RUNNING YOUR GASH ABOUT EVERYTHING AND BEING AN INIMITABLE CLOWN I SERIOUSLY THINK YOU COULD BE ON PAR WITH YOUR CUSTODIAN.

CG: THAT IS A MONUMENTAL "IF".

TG: well look at it this way

TG: im basically doing you all a favor by being a dumbass

TG: never gonna get caught off guard by the bozo patrol

CG: WOW. GOOD POINT.

===

TG: also screw this can i use your shirt

TG: this stupid hoodie is just smudging my lenses up

TG: i cant see dick

CG: UH

CG: SURE, I GUESS.

TG: cool

===

TG: so yeah i could be prowling around like a goddamn verbal assassin sniping convos left and right

TG: but no ive got the decency to go bunp in the night

CG: YEAH.

CG: IT'S DEFINITELY COMPOUNDED BY THE CONSTANT INANE RAMBLINGS.

CG: BUT

CG: IT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY RELAXING, Y'KNOW? IT HAS ITS OWN RHYTHM.

TG: see yeah i sound it off and

===

TG: wait really?

CG: YEAH

CG: I DON'T KNOW

CG: FUCK. HOW DO I EXPLAIN THIS WITHOUT WANTING TO CRAM MY FROND DOWN MY PROTEIN CHUTE.

===

CG: IT'S LIKE

CG: A SALVE FOR MY AGGRAVATION SPONGE.

CG: YOUR VOICE IS THE HUMAN EQUIVALENT OF ASPIRIN.

TG: uh damn karkat hold your hoofbeasts i was talking about the rhythm thing

CG: ALRIGHT, THAT'S IT. I'M TAKING US BOTH THE FUCK OUT RIGHT NOW. YOU HAVE REACHED THE BAD END OF THIS CONVERSATION.

TG: you think thatd be heroic or just

CG: IF I WAS STILL GHOSTING AROUND THE RUINS OF SGRUB'S ARCANE FRIGGIN GAME SYSTEMS, THE COMPLETE LACK OF SHIT AFOOT NOWADAYS WOULD BORE ME TO DEATH.

CG: LIKE. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME OUR THERMAL HULL LEVELLED UP, DAVE?

TG: hah

===

TG: but uh

TG: i mean we had aspirin on earth

CG: NO, NUMBNUBS.

CG: I'M SAYING YOU ARE MY ASPIRIN.

TG: oh

CG: YEAH, TAKE THAT TO THE BANK AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR 20-KARAT ASS.

===

TG: heh

TG: well get this

TG: i will literally talk at you forever for free

TG: you got lifetime priority seating for the davealogues

TG: never gotta go to the drugstore again you can just get doped up on my dulcet tones for the rest of time

TG: take that and some of this

TG: im packin punches

CG: OW, FUCK! NO! MY MIGRAINES!

CG: SWEEPS OF VEINCLOTTING AND NERVEFRAYING DOWN THE FUCKING GAPER. BECAUSE OF YOU.

CG: YOU ASSHOLE, THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME.

CG: AND YOU'RE LAUGHING.

TG: chuckle up it only gets worse from here

===

CG: BE HONEST WITH ME. DID FONDLING MY SHIRT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET EVEN DO ANYTHING?

TG: barely but yknow sometimes you just gotta deal the cards youre given

TG: ill just be astigmatic for a while its cool

CG: PFF… OKAY MAN.

[transformers-spike]

Decepticons would be so jealous over their humans vibrator, if they ever caught them using it, if Shockwave didn't make one for them he's already destroying it and self commissioning a new one cause how dare you betray them like this!!! You want something that vibrates? Their servo can do that you don't need a measley human machine to please yourself, just ask them. Knockout would be the worst jerk about it while not wanting to admit how attached he is to his fleshie human and probably break it while their asleep so they HAVE to come to him for pleasure.

Human & Knockout: *looking down at the broken vibrator very clearly pummeled and broken no way a vibrator should break.*

Knockout: Well, guess you used it too hard human, guess you'll have to ask me to please you now *cue devious smirk*

LMAO THESE PETTY BITCHES Shockwave, Knock Out, Megatron and Starscream are horrible when it comes to your vibrator. Like they're so desperate for you they can't even act like the grown ass adults they are and take the L Breakdown would be jealous but would have the decency to leave your poor vibrator alone, while Dreadwing respects your personal boundaries. Don't trust Airachnid tho, she'll bind you and dial the max setting on that thing I'm screaming because all I can think of is the human going

after Knock Out pulls this shit. Megatron is probably the worst because his solution to the situation is keeping you around 24/7. So if you want to be pleasured, he's your best bet. Megan, please, your spike's destroying my insides, I need medical help asap

[manikas-whims]

Something to note between MC’s First Encounter with Xavier Vs her First Encounter with Sylus

MC met both of them as complete strangers but was only afraid of one. Was suspicious of both of them but could still resonate with one but not the other. Guess why?

The biggest difference is their respective titles.

When MC met Xavier for the first time, he was a stranger napping in an abandoned warehouse. He was this “suspicious guy in a deepspace hunter uniform” but in no time, MC was able to adapt to his rather aloof attitude and work with him.

But with Sylus, she was already informed that there's this fearsome leader of this bad organization called Onychinus. She was already warned of Sylus being an awful and scary person. And as such, her mind and body involuntarily had a sort of scared and repulsed reaction towards him.

With Xavier, she was suspicious and unconvinced of his behaviour and actions but despite that presence of a Deepspace Hunter’s uniform as well as the lack of any other info on him, allowed MC’s mind to fill in the gaps however she pleased. And as humans, it's a very humane thing to want to trust a stranger. To believe that the unknown person in front of us is as capable of kindness as we are. As such, when Xavier took her hand and placed it upon his chest, MC was able to trust him in the moment and resonate with him.

However, with Sylus, the knowledge of his position as the leader of Onichynus and him keeping her captive for 3 days (it was 3 right?), overshadowed any other acts of decency. This caused her mind to fill in the gaps but only perceive him as a horrible person incapable of any good. And therefore, the perception paired with Sylus forcing (not asking) her to resonate with him, led to her being unable to trust him for a while and further led to her being unable to resonate with him.

just a tiny lil observation..i’m sure it's nothing groundbreaking and many might've noticed..but i just wanted to ramble..

[mulletmitsuya]

Toman Groupchat

Warnings: swearing, the topic of sex is brought up a lot, mentions of the r word (i don't actually say it i just say "r word"), gayness, mentions of depression, mentions of suicide, teenage boys. also snuck in a lot of personal headcanons so that might not be your thing

Desc: Mikey lost his V-card

Mikey: just had the sex

Mikey: it's not all that, tbh

Mikey: i didn't like it

Mikey: i was quite indifferent to the situation actually

Mitsuya: that's great 👍

Smiley: you're the last one to lose your v-card and you come back with a report like this?😒

Smiley: we want details

Draken: whose we?

Mitsuya: no we don't

Chifuyu: it must have been difficult tackling the whole issue with you being 5'3 and all

Mikey: you're an inch taller than me😐

Chifuyu: "taller" being the key word

Baji: what didn't you like about the sex?

Baji: i think sex is great

Kazutora: i think it's super nice until you get in over your head and freak out about your performance so you end up having a panic attack and she just leaves

Smiley: LMAOOOOOO

Draken: that's actually kinda sad, you good?

Kazutora: no? i'll never emotionally recover. never again

Baji: maybe it should be with someone you trust and have been friends with for a number of years. maybe even your best friend who would do anything for you. that's just my opinion tho

Draken: just tell him ffs. anything but this

Kazutora: i have no girl friends?? the only women i know who're affiliated with this friendgroup are hina (taken), emma (mikey's sister and also taken), and yuzuha (gay)

Baji: why does it have to be a girl

Mikey: bro

Hakkai: 💀

Smiley: mention homosexuality once and here Hakkai comes

Hakkai: 😐

Kazutora: Baji i know you're gay and i support your lgbtq+ lifestyle but i'm not into dicks like you are man

Baji: what about assholes

Mitsuya: what's the point of this, like just ask him out atp

Mikey: you'd let KAZUTORA top???? insane

Kazutora: what's wrong with me topping? also who am i topping??

Smiley: well you're a twink so you're obviously a bottom

Chifuyu: Kazutora are you actually just gonna ignore what everyone else is saying

Kazutora: aren't you guys talking to Baji?

Draken: are you stupid or what

Kazutora: i'm really confused rn can we just to back to talking about Mikey

Mikey: yes actually. i've decided that i don't like sex and won't be doing it again

Chifuyu: bad day for Takemitchy

Takemitchy: what?

Chifuyu: well since you ride his dick so much

Takemitchy: HUH

Takemitchy: i've never done that with Mikey-kun tho??? i'm with Hina? also I'm straight so I don't understand what you mean by that 😥

Chifuyu: i don't actually mean-

Chifuyu: nvm

Baji: are we allowed to call people the r word anymore

Angry: no it's a slur

Baji: you're probably mad because people said it to you huh? lmao

Angry: yes

Baji: oh

Smiley: i didn't even mean it Angry it was just that one time

Angry: several, one times. but okay

Angry: i still love you

Smiley: can you not say that in front of our friends like idk what to do rn cause i can't say it back so it looks embarssing for you

Angry: 😕

Smiley: ...

Angry: ☹️

Smiley: i love you too

Angry: thank you

Chifuyu: very rare Smiley human decency moment

Draken: you guys are such weird siblings but that was great to watch. character development in a matter of seconds

Smiley: you should all kill yourselves

Mikey: man i really want to

Mikey: that was a literal joke before you guys get weird

Draken: you've actively tried to kill yourself tho

Mikey: yeah but like i won't do it anymore

Baji: we must just, believe you?

Mikey: i know that's hard to do because i lie all the time but yes

Draken: not a convincing argument but nice try

Mitsuya: terrible try actually. Mikey should we be worried?

Mikey: miss me with that gay shit, i'm fine

Mitsuya: i hate you guys so much

Draken: not me tho cause i'm your og

Mitsuya: 😐

Mitsuya: yeah i guess

Draken: 🤞

Draken: i'm gonna go out with my girlfriend now

Draken: also Mikey you're probably asexual. or you haven't found the right one to do it with yet idk

Mikey: what's asexual

Draken: google it

Mikey: Ken-chin c'mon i'm having a crisis rn

Draken: basically low or very little sexual attraction to others

Draken: there's a whole spectrum to it tho so you should probably do some research because that was an extremely watered down explanation

Draken: i'm ace too if that helps

Baji: Emma's a whole ass slut so how does she deal with that

Smiley: imagine bagging Ryuguji Ken with his sexy ass and he doesn't wanna smash. tragic

Draken: first of all, Baji i'll fucking kill you, never say that about Emma again

Draken: and fuck you Smiley

Angry: are you traumatized because of living in a sex orientated/obsessed environment so you eventually began to detest any affiliation with the act?

Draken: yes actually

Angry: i see

Mikey: i just don't like it. i'm not traumatized like Ken-chin :(

Draken: it's whatever

Baji: calm down i didn't call Emma a slut as an insult i just mean it as a describing word because she likes fucking

Baji: i've known her longer than you and she's been fucking since she knew what the thing was

Mikey: i probably should have addressed that as an older brother or something

Mikey: yk, cause i take care of my family

Baji: now she takes care of you with your chronically depressed ass

Mikey: 😒

Kazutora: is Emma also traumatized? like the opposite of Draken?

Mikey: wait should i ask?? her mom did abandon her and she did grow up without a father figure so like maybe i should talk to her

Smiley: you didn't have to dish out her problems like that 💀

Baji: she's got the Sano slut genes because wasn't Shinichiro falling in love with different people everyday? then your dad was impregnating people all the time. skipped Mikey tho

Draken: not everything is trauma related. also Emma just likes sex. it's not a huge deal breaker and if it was she would tell me and we'd talk about it

Mikey: what about having kids?

Draken: stop asking me this shit we'll do that when we're ready

Smiley: it's crazy how Draken is one of the healthiest people here. always reacting sensibly to situations and dealing with his trauma normally. he's such a good guy. hate him

Draken: love you too

Mikey: did he deal with it all that healthily if he beats people to a pulp most of the time

Draken: i stopped doing that

Baji: why though, you were an actual unit

Baji: wasted talent. i still beat people up

Draken: Emma said to

Mikey: fair

Smiley: Mitsuya could be on Draken's level too but something went wrong along the way cause he's a boy liker

Mitsuya: 🖕

[femininenachos]

10 years of Clexa kisses (Make America Gay Again edition)

“Look, Lexa, I get that you’re reluctant to resort to underhand tactics but destroying his reputation might be the only way to bring him down. If you haven’t got the stomach for it…”

“I didn’t say that.” Lexa’s jaw tightens. A few seconds elapse then she lets out a long, drawn out sigh. “Whatever I think of his politics or his character, it’s hard not to retain some affection for the man who raised me.”

Lexa places her untouched glass of water on the coffee table. She stares at her lap, adjusting the hem of her skirt.

“He wasn’t always like this.” Her voice is sadder, more subdued when she adds, “After my mother passed away, he changed.” She appears to fold in on herself a little, spine sagging under the weight of this admission. “Not that he was ever an open-minded, tolerant person but he was more… moderate, I suppose. Less entrenched in his views.” A muscle ticks in Lexa’s cheek. “Grief transformed him beyond recognition.”

Clarke is up and moving before it really occurs to her what she’s doing. She sinks into the seat beside Lexa, like her presence, the nearness might bring comfort.

“Part of me always hoped he’d mellow,” Lexa continues. “That eventually he would come around to scientific fact over religious dogma. Or, I don’t know, he’d be swayed by an appeal to his sense of humanity or whatever shred of common decency remains.”

“It’s still possible.”

A wan smile tugs at Lexa’s mouth. “I think we both know that isn’t true.”

There’s a lull.

Until Clarke speaks up. “I lost my Dad when I was seventeen. Natural causes. If you can say that about an outwardly fit and healthy forty-two year old man. He was fine one day and the next,” she puffs out her cheeks and blows out a slow breath, “gone. He suffered a massive myocardial infarction while he was out running. Rare genetic heart disorder. Nobody knew.”

Lexa reels back slightly, brows shooting up. “Genetic…?”

“I got tested. I don’t have it.”

The relief that drains through Lexa’s face is instantaneous, but Clarke refuses to dwell on what it means.

“I’m so sorry, Clarke. Were you close?”

A nod. “We loved watching soccer games and old movies together. We had the same dorky sense of humour and it drove Mom crazy.”

The way Lexa looks at her now, eyes glowing with soft sympathy, makes Clarke’s throat constrict, a hard lump of emotion wedging itself in her esophagus. But she finds the strength to keep going.

“Bereavement affects people in different ways. There’s no timetable, no universal coping mechanism. My Mom—she’s a surgeon—threw herself into work. I hardly saw her for the first six months afterwards. Any time I tried to talk about Dad she shut down, stopped the conversation and left the room. It took her years just to get to the point where she could even mention his name in front of me. We’re in a better place now. We talk. But it was kind of a fraught journey to get there.”

Clarke allows Lexa to process the exposition dump in silence for a moment.

She sighs at last. “I guess what I’m saying is: it’s never too late for personal growth, even for Titus fucking Woods.”

They share a wry glance and the tightness in Clarke’s throat recedes, the band of pressure around her ribs loosening.

“I hope you’re right,” Lexa says, so softly. And there’s something about the brittleness of her smile that tugs at Clarke in a way she can’t explain.

“Would it be too weird if I hugged you?” Seeing the surprise register on Lexa’s features, Clarke quickly backtracks. She waves it off. “Yeah, of course. It’s weird. Stupid question. Never mind.”

“Clarke.”

“Forget I said anything.”

Lexa puts her hand on Clarke’s wrist and, clichéd as it is, Clarke feels a spark shoot up her arm at the touch of their skin.

“I don’t usually—I’m not really one for—” Lexa presses her lips together. She shuts her eyes briefly. Resets and tries again. “If the offer is still open, I think I’d like that hug. Please.”

It’s the thin, strained ‘please’ that gets to Clarke most.

Awkwardness ensues. There’s a bit of logistical trial and error, a wordless negotiation of whose arm goes where, an exchange of sheepish smiles. But as soon as Clarke’s arms wrap around Lexa’s shoulders and she feels Lexa’s hands slide across her back through the fabric of her sweater, it’s like something clicks into place.

The sensations hit her dizzyingly all at once. If she thought Lexa smelled incredible before, it’s overwhelming now. Her hair and her perfume and the scent of her skin. As covertly as possible, Clarke breathes it all in. And it strikes her how warm Lexa is. Warm and soft, despite her thin frame, and Clarke wants to melt into it. Attuned to the pressure of each finger against her spine, she’s hyper aware of every place that they’re touching: chests flush, knees knocking, the soft strands of Lexa’s hair tickling her cheek. Clarke’s chest aches with the urge to pull Lexa tighter against her, to press her nose against Lexa’s throat, to let her mouth—

A light expulsion of air close to her ear sends a tingle rolling down Clarke’s spine. She can’t hide her body’s reaction, can’t prevent the sharp intake of breath. It’s a reflex; beyond her control.

It snaps her out of this haze.

God, what the fuck is she doing?

There isn’t really a graceful way to disengage, especially when Lexa seems reluctant to let go. They both inch back, arms still loosely looped around one another, and Clarke makes the stupid mistake of catching Lexa’s eye.

There’s a moment.

An infinite moment of stillness where neither of them move.

A look on Lexa’s face that shakes Clarke to the core, that causes her stomach to plummet, heat coiling low in her belly. It’s that same hot gleam in Lexa’s eyes that Clarke glimpsed on the train but magnified to the extreme, pupils large and black enough to swallow her whole.

Lexa’s half-lidded gaze keeps flicking between Clarke’s mouth and her eyes.

She can’t remember anyone looking at her with this much thirst.

It makes her head spin.

“Clarke.”

Her name from Lexa’s lips seems like the most loaded word in the English language, a 12-gauge round that obliterates the last of Clarke’s self-control.

She isn’t sure who reaches for the other first, her own hand sliding across Lexa’s jaw as Lexa’s palm cups the back of her neck.

All that matters is that Lexa’s mouth is soft and eager, and she makes a noise that sends a warm flood of excitement through Clarke when she licks inside.

Read on AO3

[giannaln4]

I hate how my inbox is looking right now.

You simply cannot use the “it’s his sixth season and he’s only now fighting for a championship.”

I literally said this on my last post. He didn’t have a winning car until NOW, dude, literally go watch how McLaren have been doing for the last 6 years, please go do it and you tell me if that’s his fault. As much as you want to bring up this debate, Lando, up until last year, was not only the youngest but also the one with less years of F1 experience in his pocket and his teammates STILL could not fight for a championship in that team, why? Because the car was absolute shit.

There is a reason I used the phrase “you can take the car out of the midfield but not the midfield out of the team.”

Now, if you are going out of your way to target Lando and his fans for anything we do you are really miserable. You hate him when he’s happy and you hate him when he’s frustrated. What do you want from him? I posted a little message just talking about how proud I am of him and your first thought is to leave hate? I never said he drove incredible yesterday, I was just talking about the achievements he’s got so far this season instead of talking shit about other teams or drivers and criticising what they are using their platform for.

The hate he gets is truly getting out of hand and the fact that he gets literal d3@th threads is NOT normal. The excuse “he won’t see it” if fucking useless and stupid because guess what, he does, and I can’t imagine how fucking scary it must be, and using an innocent post from a Lando fan to spread hateful words and terrible takes is so weird, get help because seeing these messages pop up in my inbox makes me feel fucking sick.

Anyway I turned off comments and disabled anonymous asks cause some of you lack so much wheel knowledge and human decency, it’s frustrating.

I have like 10 more of these btw, and like two of them at some point say “I’m a fan but-“ no no, please stop right there.

[scuderia-hamilton]

you're saying that Daniel didn't deserve this, but you're still hating on him for that shit he said back in february

make up your mind for fuck's sake

wow okay appreciate you being so civil and nice lmao

just so we’re clear, i’m upset about the principle of this situation cause i hate teams dropping drivers mid-season without warning and treating them like garbage, because they’re all human beings at the end of the day. ultimately they’re all risking their lives weekend after weekend and the teams not having the decency to at least give them a proper goodbye is mad disrespectful.

now that we got this out of the way, the truth is i couldn’t care less about Daniel leaving. it is what it is. i’m not a fan, i never have been and never will be. "that shit" he said back in february was him defending a sexual abuser and i don't know about you, but that's just not something i can easily forget. but what was i expecting from the same man who said that it's "not in his nature" to understand human rights issues and he doesn't watch the news because it's too much drama and negativity and it makes him feel shitty? his next adventure should be teaching weaponized incompetence to beginners.

i can feel bad for him, cause i (unlike him) possess empathy and compassion, along with critical thinking skills. i really tried to refrain from haterism, but i'm honestly so tired of trying to be the bigger person. fans like you (from this visceral reaction, i assume you're a fan) are part of the reason why DR is insufferable and trying to have a nuanced conversation is a lost cause. there is a middle ground between hatred and unquestionable support, i hope you know that.

i don't think he deserved that seat to begin with and i think deep down all of you know that, cause the only thing y'all could come up with to defend him was that he smiled a lot and had a great personality (which is honestly baffling to me, cause his personality is that of a high school bully's, but to each their own, i guess). but y'all are the same people who then turn around and call Checo racial slurs, say that he's washed and call him a pay driver. talk about your driver's skills, let's hear it.

and to make it clear i am over the moon happy for Liam Lawson, cause i think he actually deserves to be in the sport and i am happy that he was the one who replaced him. hating on him also says more about y'all, than him, cause that won't actually bring back your mediocre driver. log off, go out and touch some grass, cause it is never that serious. harassing a young driver who's just trying to do his job and achieve his life long dream over a poorly managed situation he had absolutely no control over is honestly crazy behaviour.

i hope all this is enough for you to know where i stand on this whole thing. if you would've been nice, you would've gotten a nice answer, but since you chose to be an asshole on my own blog, anonymously at that, you get what you came for.

have the day you deserve.

[mattslolita]

you bitches are WEIRD. GROW THE FUCK UP. no way you're supposedly "trying to take up" for rose by going around telling people someone copied her fic ( FALSE BY THE WAY !! ) then you gon sit up and her and say hateful, weird, DISRESPECTFUL shit to her? i'm so heated right now😭. and you pussies wanna stay on anon cause you don't want nobody clocking yo shit well guess what ! i hope you fucking croak cause no way you gon come in my inbox talking bout some "human decency" THEN HAVE THE AUDACITY TO SHIT LIKE THAT. so YES, i'm gonna tell ALL OF YOU WHO DOIN THIS SHIT TO HER, you can FUCKING CROAK. you're WEIRD AS FUCK and SICK. stop playin on rose's phone and go GET A FUCKING LIFE.

[sunny-mercya]

Parents Regrets

02. Fever Nights

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Batfamily x Male Child Reader

Masterlist

Another sleepless night for the Wayne family. A whole week it was now, in which they hadn't got a single amount of sleep. Tired they were, irritated, cranky and grumpy—to put it nicely—on it's finest level.

And the sole cause for this was you.

You had gotten a fever, heaven above knows from where. One of the strong kinds, which a adult could sweat off but a child not.

And a way of telling, for children who are in delay of speaking, was throughout crying.

Jason sighed deeply through his nose. Rubbing his eyes—pressing his palms into them—pinching the bridge of his nose. He looked down at his baby brother, who squirmed around in whining, not crying anymore but still teary eyed, of not liking the warmth—even though the only thing your wearing are diapers and a oversized shirt.

Jason has come, after some months of destroying something in rage, to terms with it of having another sibling, a much younger one, again.

Taking the washcloth from your forehead, Jason picked you up. You were starting to get fussy again and before another hellish cry would erupt from your tiny vocals, Jason decided to carry you a bit around.

«You know I love you sunshine, but a little bit of sleep would be nice, for the both, all of us» said Jason, more to himself than you in the sense of your not able to understand and reply at all.

You weren't the healthiest one—I mean Tim was unhealthy too, but in contrast to Tim, who lacks sleeps, human decency and only drinks his coffee on a empty stomach—wasn't prone to get easily sick, like you do.

Doctor Liz, after many check ups, told them that you have a weak immun system and that there wasn't anything to do about it—expect for medication and treatment vacations.

Jason would've comment, that there was a way—the lazarus pit or some dark magic rituals, but Bruce has already warned him not to bring it up. He could understand it though, doing one of those options would equal lots of pain for you and if your tiny body and mind could handle it was another question.

~~~

It was 4AM and all Tim wanted was a good old big cup of coffee to drink and being interrupted by Jason and the little annoyance of a brother—who cries, screams and shits endless—wasn't part of his plan. Tim glares at them, grip around his cup tighten.

«Can't you keep that thing away from kitchen?»

«Now now Timber, don't be so rude. We're just wanna have some chocolate milk,»

«I swear if he gonna cry again, I will scream.»

Jason ignored Tim, rummaging through the cupboards and fridge with one hand and preparing you a bottle of lukewarm chocolate milk. Hopefully this time you're able to drink it and not vomiting it all out again.

Tim glanced from time to time up from his phone at Jason and you. Tim wouldn't say he hated you, it's just being constantly keep awake from your crying was taking a toll on him.

«I don't think your choco-milk addiction is good for [Name].» mumbles Tim, eyeing the chocolate milk in your bottle wearily.

«Pff, better than Coffee don'tcha think?»

«And what if he is lactose intolerant?»

Jasons amusing smile fall instantly when Tim has pointed out the possibility of it.

«Fuck.» Jason cursed out, thinking back to all the times you had a endless pooping after you drank your chocolate milk. He never thought milk was the reasons for it, thought you only had a very sensitive stomach.

Tim groaned loudly when you started crying again. Hiding his face into his crossed arms onto the counter and screamed.

~~~

Your fever still hadn't gone down. Sometimes it would a bit, but then would rise again and with Jason constantly having giving you milk, a new problem has rising up, which adds to your feverish state.

Bruce bounced you on his leg, humming a melody and shushing you gently, trying to calm you down. Another sleepless night he guessed.

Bruce still doesn't what the reasons is for you feeling so unwell, besides the news of you being lactose intolerant. Maybe he should bring you into the hospital, Liz probably has some medication to help you. Then again Bruce wasn't sure if you would take this form of separation so greatly.

Just for a little bit, just for a little bit more they have to endure sleepless nights. You're recovery would just take a bit of time, nothing to fret.

Oh, but Bruce didn't know just how endless the nights would be go.

[confused-simp-jpg]

(boy)friend

Pairing: holland!Peter Parker / reader

(no pronouns used for reader as far as I know)

Warnings: brief mention of bullying (and a shitty ending cause I suck at writing those)

General Plot: You are on a quest to befriend your awkward schoolmate and find that you might become something a little more

Genre:                fluff

Words:               1.2k

A/N: Honestly, I just wanted to try posting on here for the first time so I put together a little fanfic, so it might not be the most well written and thought out story, so please excuse all the plot holes and poor writing.

masterlist

A new schoolyear had begun and like every year you had devoted yourself to making a new friend. Having been the quiet kid with no friends you had decided to overcome your fear of talking to new people and after finding a great group of friends you started to look for new additions to said group every year.

At the end of last school year, you had noticed a small duo, a cute brunette and his best friend, you’d never see one without the other. But recently you had picked up on the near constant flow of bullying directed at the two by a kid named flash.

Truth be told you always were the kind of person to search for the good in someone even if they were being an asshole and it’s not like you thought Flash was the scum of the earth or something like that he just had the sort of personality most people perceived as arrogant, annoying and overall disgusting, their words not yours, although you had to agree. He was by no means an evil person per se he just seemed to lack basic human decency in its entirety.

So when you became aware of the two victims of Flash’s idiocy and their almost unbothered attitude towards him, you decided to get to know them a bit better in hopes of befriending them.

It was Monday where you had an irregular lunch break at a time no one else did, when you saw your opportunity.

“Hey… is this seat taken?”, you smiled down at the completely surprised brunette.

“Uh…yeah… I mean no… I mean you can sit…if you want obviously”, he stuttered out, stumbling over his words and trying his best to keep his voice from completely giving out.

You giggled and sat down:

“Thanks, I was worried I wouldn’t find a good seat anymore, I’m Y/N btw”

“I’m Peter”, a soft blush adorned his cheeks.

Peter looked around in the mostly empty cafeteria and his brows furrowed slightly:

“Uhm, you know there are like a lot of free tables. Not that I want you to leave but… you know?”, he hesitantly brought up.

You looked up at him a smile tugging at the corners of your lips and answered:

“Yeah, but it’s not a good lunch seat when you sit alone isn’t it?”

“…I guess…yeah”

There was a bit of comfortable silence between you before you spoke up again.

“You’re not usually alone here right? I think every time I’ve seen you he was right next to you”, you chuckled

He seemed a bit caught off guard by you breaking the silence but recovered fast.

“Yeah, Ned wasn’t feeling all too well today, so he stayed home and left me alone here.”, Peter said jokingly.

“Oh, tell him I hope he feels better soon then, he seems like a nice dude when he’s not abandoning you.”

Talking about his friend came easier to Peter than small talk and the conversation flowed seamlessly from how Ned had ‘abandoned’ him to what things they got up to recently.

In turn you shared some stories from you and your friends taking the opportunity to invite him and Ned to come along with you to the arcade at the end of the week.

Although hesitant at first, with a bit of convincing he agreed to meet the following Friday.

Your talk with Peter in the cafeteria had not been the last time the two of you had interacted and every conversation with him made you more excited for the next.

Peter really was such a sweet soul and hanging out with him always felt comfortable.

Friday rolled around and you were waiting on your friends and Peter in front of the arcade. It was a common occurrence for them to be late so when a out of breath Peter ran up to you and started to apologize profusely you just smiled and reassured him that he was fine.

You noticed Ned wasn’t with him and when asked about it, Peter explained that he still wasn’t feeling better.

Slowly but surely the rest of the group came by as well and soon enough everyone was present.

The entire afternoon went by in a haze filled with laughter, everyone enjoying themselves and even though Peter was a bit shy at first, he fit right in, and everyone welcomed him with open arms.

Even without really noticing or intending on it, you and Peter stayed close and stole innocent touches here and there along with soft looks.

Unbeknownst to you your friends had noticed the fact that you and Peter seemed joined at the hip and shared smiles about the clear interest both of you displayed for the other.

You felt a tap on your shoulder and were met with one of your closest friends MJ, who led you away from the group.

“Can you two go on a date without us? It’s getting a bit pathetic with the way he’s looking at you.”, she deadpanned, catching you off guard. Your mouth dropped open and blood rushed to your face.

“What?”, a confused chuckle escaped your throat.

“Come on Y/N, you two are clearly interested in each other. Everyone has noticed at this point. So just tell him and get on with it!”

MJ never was the kind of best friend who talked to you about relationships unprompted, you loved to tell her about crushes and troubles simply because of her objective and brutally honest advice and comments, but she never started these types of conversations so this was new.

“MJ, he’s sweet sure but I’ve only known him for a week and yeah of course I like him but calling it a crush would be a bit rushed don’t you think?”, you smiled at her.

“Obviously, but I’m just saying, you two have been smiling at each other so much even I felt giddy” MJ shuddered overdramatically

You laughed and hugged her. “Oh MJ, I love you so so much”

MJ scrunched up her face and awkwardly hugged you back, never having been much of a physical touch kind of person but tolerating it for you.

The two of you returned to the group and the afternoon continued without another hitch although you were more and more aware of the shy smiles shared between you and Peter.

At first the two of you were shy and awkward on dates but once you got more comfortable with eachother you shared inside jokes and and started teasing eaxhother playfully.  

A few months after the arcade meet up which were filled with almost daily texts and constant talking, Peter awkwardly asked:

“ So… are we…are you…I mean, am I your…”

His stressed expression and the more and more panicked waving of his hands had you chuckling slightly once you realized what exactly he was trying to ask of you.

“I think we are and I am and you are. If you want to that is”, you answered with a soft smile, your hand ever so slightly reaching for his.

Relief washed over Peter and you thought to yourself, how bad he was at hiding his true feelings, it felt like you could read him like an open book, like he couldn’t possibly have secrets that you didn’t know about with how open he seemed.

“Thank god!”, Peter exclaimed and engulfed your hand in his, tugging you along to his home for the movie night you had planned.

[lemotmo]

I’m curious to see the response Ryan gives for his personal thoughts on what’s going on between Buck and Eddie.

But at the same time I’m not excited for the melt down it’ll probably cause since he still can’t give anything away so people are gonna end up dooming 💀😂

Listen, at this point I've given up on asking people to use their common sense. We've been saying this over and over again, but for some reason there are always people that will see the worst in these interviews and who spiral and doompost afterwards.

What do they possibly expect Ryan to say? He can't just come out and say:

"Hey everyone! Guess what?! Eddie is gay!!! And he desperately wants to bone Buck!!!! WHAT ABOUT THAT BUCK AND EDDIE THING HUH?!!!! YOLO!!! LOL!!!"

So yes, he'll skirt around the topic and he'll say some deep and meaningful things about the Buddie friendship and how important it is for Eddie. I expect him to tease a little and give some vague answers, but that's really the only thing he can say. 🤷‍♀️

And like clockwork, people over on Twitter will start yelling that he is baiting them. Pffff, seriously-- if it wasn't for some good sources, I would have deleted Twitter ages ago.

The influx of some newer fans (both BT and Buddie) when Buck came out as bi has made the 911 fandom a worse place to be in my opinion. Some of these people are ruthless. The way they talk to professional journalists is appalling and downright rude. I always have so much second-hand embarrassment when I read some of their comments.

((I'd like to make a note here that I'm not talking about ALL new people in fandom, just some of them and most are over on Twitter. I've met a lot of lovely new people here on Tumblr who know how to behave normally and who are genuinly excited to join this fandom. Welcome to all of you!!! Seriously!!! It's nice to have some new voices and fresh input.))

As the second anon said, some of them were almost threatening Jeff Conway, telling him that the fandom would be upset with him if the interview didn't give them what they wanted. I mean... WTF?! This guy interviewed an actor of a TV-show. He is only going to write about what Ryan said. This isn't life and death here! It's just a silly little TV-show interview!

This isn't even about fandom etiquette anymore. It goes beyond that! This is about human decency. Just because you are online and anonymous, doesn't mean that you get to act like a total *sshole towards an entertainment journalist or towards actors and other fans for that matter. I have seen some vile Ryan hatred on Buddie-Twitter. Safe to say I blocked all of them.

I truly don't get it. How were these people raised? Didn't their parents or guardians ever talk to them about kindness and decency? Did some of them grow up with social media without any kind of supervision and somehow it desensitized them to normal human behaviour and social cues? What went wrong?!

I don't know you guys. Maybe I sound old to some of you.🤷‍♀️ But I've been in fandom spaces for a very long time now, so I know what I'm talking about.

Whenever I speak up about something like this, I get messages in my inbox calling me a 'boomer'. I didn't know that asking for simple human decency and politeness made someone a 'boomer', but if that is the case, I'll gladly take that title. Because some of these fans' behaviour on Twitter is seriously getting out of hand.

So really, the message here is: Stay away from stan-Twitter if you can, but if you like it there (no judgement 😋 You do you!) do make sure to block wisely, even within the Buddie fandom if necessary. Don't share, reply or make screenshots, because none of us should condone or share these people's shitty behaviour.

[ticklepinions]

Everytime I come back here I get a fun lil story!!!!

So! Where to even begin!???

My friend and I were having a sleep over and we are like really physically affectionate, so during our nightly cuddles they were rubbing my back. Next thing I know my back is arching and I let out a screech. So I'm there dumbfounded and my friend is obviously confused but pauses and says "oh did that tickle you?"

Ah! No! (Yes-) what caused me to uh squeal was my friend started "walking" their fingers up and down my spine- when I tell you that shit tickles like crazy-

Anyways!!!! You'd think today was better but NO! There was so. Much. Tickling. Idk what it was but my entire friend group must've been bitten by the tickle bug cause what even was today-

It started with one friend poking me- (while I was minding my own business btw!) and me retaliating. To then me subsequently getting chased (and if you know me you know I PANIK because I cannot stand being chased and I freeze and scream and all that fun stuff). Then getting my arms forcibly raised above my head while ANOTHER friend comes and pokes the living daylights out of my sides, stomach and ribs. All the while the rest of our friend group watched and one even recorded the ordeal- 😀😀😀😀😀😀

I swore my revenge so stay tuned I guess....

Oh!!!! You thought that was it!? HAHAHA. No!

There's more!

All in the same day!! My friends (like 5 of us altogether) are all hanging out and one of them throws their legs over my lap. Another friend comes up to us and starts doing the egg crack thingy to us. Yes it tickles me but not enough to make me really laugh. But my other friend! Oh boy he was already begging! The friend who pinned my arms in the above story suggested we tickle him. And tickle we did. I was in charge of holding a leg and tickling his stomach and sides. Y'all the laughter- the joy- it was just- words can't describe it actually. But imagine 4 of your friends holding you down and like tickling the shit out of you.

Long story short, I did get revenge on one of my friends and I got help pinning him down and just going to town with the tickles. The funniest thing is everyone was relying on me to know his tickle spots (yeah I'm the resident tickle monster please don't shame me 😔). He was acting all stoic and tough and claiming he's not ticklish. And he almost got away with it, I was poking and scribbling his ribs which would normally work but he held it in pretty well. But I knew under his arms/uppermost rib was a good spot. Once I got there- his facade dropped instantly. He genuinely burst out in surprised laughter and started flailing everywhere. We even challenged him to 20 seconds of tickling- which he agreed to!?!? I was trying to tickle his ankles and unprompted he's like "feet are my most ticklish spot". Thank you. You sweet friend o mine for revealing that info. With permission I took his shoe off and started tickling. He scrunched his eyes, turning redder every second but the minute I reached his toes he was cackling again.

And that pretty much was it- my favourite part aside from the tickles was just the consent, trust and mutual respect we all had for each other. Once someone said stop we did. We gave them breaks and time to catch their breaths. We made sure we weren't hurting them or making people uncomfortable by holding them down, like it was just so great to see???? Like wow basic human decency exists?!!! And in MY friend group? Chefs kiss dawg, sloppy style.

[wolven91]

Don't Feed The Bears

When Sarf encountered her colleague, Yous, it wouldn't have been particularly strange or odd. They were assigned as a pair to a back water planet within ursidain territories to observe and catalogue any new infections or illnesses in the trees of the new nature reserves. This had been one of the planets that had been near stripped clean by their forefather's unchecked greed. The objective was to reseed the world as best they could.

However, what Sarf found confusing was the fact her colleague, a respected scientist in his own right, was crawling on his hands and knees in the clearing. This was a new behaviour to say they least. Sure, he was a bit thin around the waist, but she didn't hold that against him as otherwise he had previously been a reliable partner.

The fact that he had walked into the clearing, but had dropped onto all fours to leave it, caused her incredible confusion, and demanded she announce herself and ask what in the oldest clan circles did he think he was doing?

Yous jumped, flinching in position until he sat backwards onto his rear and had the good decency to look a bit sheepish as he kept his head low, but slowly met her gaze. Sarf just sighed and shook her head, she was aware his size made him susceptible to bullying and didn't want to add to it, but the matter had to be addressed.

"I just want to know why you're crawling around through the forest. Are the kitchen crew bullying you again?"

"No, well... they never stopped, but no, this isn't that." The male explained, now avoiding looking at Sarf in the eyes. She watched as the ursidain was constantly scratching at the back of his paw in a nervous tick.

"I've found something out..." He said in a whisper despite their solitude from their own kind on the garden world in the making.

"The young humans..." Yous said.

"The cubs?" Sarf inclined her head, the odd, tiny, thin, and gangly creatures. The pair of botanists had been made aware that a single family unit of humans was hiding on the planet and to avoid them if possible. With just how rare humanity was, the ursidain government, like everyone else, had offered to secret populations of humans away in hidden locations within their territory. An unused infant forestry planet, with minimal to no dangerous fauna remaining did occur to Sarf as a perfect place to raise a cub, human or ursidain now she considered it. Yous continued however.

"They know us, long before meeting one of our kind properly it seems. They have a different name for us though; there's a young one and her family over in the next clearing. Just... let me show you?" He said, trying to convince her that he wasn't mad. Sarf grimaced and waved him forward. He deserved a chance, either he was sick and she would help or he had a point that she wasn't seeing without being shown.

With a roll of her eyes and a half shrug to agree for him to go for it, he rolled back over onto his four stumpy limbs and began to trudge forward, lumbering into the undergrowth. She wouldn't copy him but would hide herself from view. Watching the male lumber forwards reminded her just how close to feral beasts the ursidain people could look. She had barely propped herself up on a tree when a noise called out.

"Fluffles?" asked an unknown, but unmistakable voice of a child.

Sarf tucked herself behind an old tree, it was barely just wide enough to hide the majority of her bulk, except for the half of her face so she could spy on her colleague.

A young cub of a human came padding out from behind a bush, looking around for something... or someone it seemed more likely considering her colleague approaching her. Her dress was light, pink and flowing in the lazy breeze of the forest. She carried in her hand, a small bundle. Sarf didn't want to confidently guess the cub's age, but she suspected possibly five? Maybe six?

Yous spoke, turning the child's head towards him.

"Hello."

Sarf noticed a distinct lack of any translators in the child's ears and doubted they would have subjected her to any implants. To the human, her colleague would be only grunting or rumbling as humans struggled to understand the ursidain language, despite attempting to teach them the nuances. As soon as she caught sight of the ursidain's broad shoulders her face lit up and she bounded over to him, throwing her arms around his neck and mashing her face into his deep brown fur.

Yous, a runt by ursidain standards, completely dwarfed the tiny, delicate looking cub. Her arms didn't meet round the back of his head, despite him lowering himself down to her level. She released her hold, took a step back, and waggled an accusing finger at her colleague.

"You're late!" The young one accused, but all Yous did in return was fall back on his haunches and mumble an apology.

"I got you breakfast!" She continued, unworried about the massive creature as she presented a small bundle to him, and without hesitation or fear of becoming food herself, presented the food to Yous who happily plucked it from her hands in between claws as big as her whole hand and gobbled the food down with little issue.

Sarf became immensely jealous immediately, eyes bulging at what just happened.

Human food was delicious. This was a fact of the stars that sat alongside water being wet and fire; hot. Every ursidain knew this, but to find a human was already obscenely rare, to have a human cook for you?! How could her colleague hide this from her!?

To the little girl's perspective, her 'best friend'; a giant teddy bear she had encountered exploring the areas surrounding her parent's log house, was one of the greatest things she had found in her life. She had no memory of Earth, Bears as they were on Earth of old were no more; she hadn't been taught every extinct animal yet, so her only knowledge of the likeness of the ursidain was of her teddy bear, that still stood guard over her bed as she fed the 'real' teddy bear. To her mind, her teddy bear had merely come to life and was protecting her family just as her stuffed one protected her.

When the second 'teddy bear' appeared out of the undergrowth, the little girl's joy was immeasurable. She immediately exclaimed she'd go get more breakfast and ran off at full pelt, the last pink frill disappearing within moments.

Sarf plonked herself down next to Yous and made no comment as she mimicked him as best she could. She looked him over, ruffled the fur on top of her skull and tried to relax her shoulders. She believed she was aiming for 'dopey', if it was described with a single word. Sarf had spent years ensuring she was taken seriously, losing her slow accent and carrying herself to lessen the natural ponderous gait of ursidains.

All gone at the first hint that she might get to try human food.

"Told y-"

"Shut up."

Tip Jar

[howlingday]

Switchin' Ain't Easy

Mercury: And that'll do it for the stream today, ladies. Thank you so much for tuning in, and for all the donations, too, of course. And a big, ol' sexy thank you to all my tier three subs. You lovelies make all of this possible. I wouldn't be able to make half the amount of lien I do a week without y'all! See you all tomorrow, and it can't come soon enough~. Good-bye!

Mercury: (Click! Stretches) Mmgh!

Adrian: (Walks in) Hi, Mr. Mercury! How are you?

Mercury: Hey, kiddo! I'm doin' alright. Just finished up a Switch Stream. How are you?

Adrian: Okay, I guess. I was bored and I wanted to see what everyone else was up to.

Mercury: Yeah? And let me guess; you came to see the most awesome dude with bionic legs first because you knew he'd fix your boredom, right?

Adrian: No, you were actually my last choice 'cause everyone else was busy.

Mercury: Ghk!

Adrian: Not in a bad way! I'm just not allowed to hang out with you because then my uncle would get mad at me because he doens't like when I'm around you. When I ask him why, he says he'll tell me when I'm older. Then he walks away calling you something under his breath. He says you're a sloo... A slot... No... Oh! He calls you a "slu-"!

Mercury: HEY! Haha, maybe don't say it so loud! Especially if you're gonna go back to your uncle after seeing me.

Adrian: Huh?

Mercury: Nothing, nothing!

Adrian: Okay! Ooh, that's a really neat computer! Were you playing a video game~?!

Mercury: Yup! Just like I said, I just finished a Switch Stream. Helps pay the bills.

Adrian: But doesn't the government pay you a fair and just wage for all of your hard work protecting the world?

Mercury: ...Kid-

Adrian: I know, I know. I just heard what I said, too. So what does this "switch streaming" do?

Mercury: Well, kid, to make it easy to understand, take all the things that make a person a decent human being, like morals, dignity, respect, decency and everything else that your mommies teach you, then throw all of that in the garbage, sit down in front of a camera or mic, and BAM! You're Switch Streaming, baby~!

Adrian: I don't understand...

Mercury: Well, let me explain it like this then. A Switch Streamer makes a recording of themselves watching or playing or reacting to something or even just talking and then live streams it out for all of their fans and followers to watch and enjoy!

Adrian: Is that really the best way to make lien? It doesn't sound like it makes a lot.

Mercury: Well, the rates vary from the site itself, and Switch makes most of what I've got off of ad revenue, but where the lien REALLY rolls in is from the donations!

Adrian: Donations? Like, people give you lien?

Mercury: Bingo, kiddo! Hit the nail right on the head!

Adrian: But why would they donate to you? Do you make really funny or exciting content, Mr. Mercury?

Mercury: Oh, hell no! It's barely considered content!

Adrian: Huh? Then why-

Mercury: Listen, Adrian, some of us are born with what some people call "devilishly good looks". In other words, I look so good that a lot of people are willing to listen to me and to what I have to say. Because being sexy or attractive where it really matters can REALLY get people reaching for their wallets. Couple ab shots here and a shirtless messy water drink there and all them thots practically drown me in lien~!

Adrian: ...Mr. Mercury, are you a whore?

Mercury: WHAT?! Wh-Where did that come from?!

Adrian: Uncle Jaune and Mommy Saph talked about one of my aunties using her body to get something she wants makes her a whore. And they said it was a bad thing to be.

Mercury: That's... rude. But not untrue, I guess.

Adrian: So is being a Switch Streamer a bad thing?

Mercury: Let me answer your question with my own question. Do you know how much lien I make from a single three-hour stream?

Adrian: I don't know what that has to do with anything. Uncle Jaune says that if you do something bad, nothing will excuse-

Mercury: Over five thousand lien~.

Adrian: Mr. Mercury, can I be a Switch Streamer when I grow up~?

Mercury: You sure can, bud! You can do anything you put your mind to!

Adrian: Yay~! I can't wait to throw away my morals, ethics, and standards to make a large sum of lien from people I've never met~!

Mercury: (Sniffles) It's so fulfilling being a role model for young boys. Glad I was able to show you the joys of being a Switch Streamer, ki-

Jaune: WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST HEAR?!

Mercury: ACK! J-Jaune~!

Adrian: Uncle Jaune~!

Jaune: I came to pick my nephew up when I heard he was with YOU of all people! Now tell me, what exactly did I just hear you teaching my nephew?!

Mercury: Nothing, Jaune, I swear! We were just-

Adrian: It's okay, Uncle Jaune! Mr. Mercury was just teaching me how I can make lien by sacrificing my morals and having no respect for your body~!

Jaune: ...WHAT?!

Mercury: H-Hang on! I know that sounds bad, but-

Adrian: Uh-huh, and he told me how he uses his body to get people to give him a lot of lien! I learned so much from him~!

Mercury: KID! PLEASE STOP!

Jaune: ...

Jaune: (Grips metal bat) I'M TAKING YOUR LEGS AND YOUR LIFE, BLACK!

Mercury: ACK! S-Since when have you had a metal bat?!

Jaune: Since the writer gave it to me!

Mercury: What?!

Jaune: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Mercury: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Adrian: (Watching Jaune beat up Mercury) Huh... Guess you could say Uncle Jaune is really beating Mr. Mercury... BLACK and blue~!

Mercury: OH, BROTHERS, IT HURTS!