#cause human decency I guess

[stubz]

"Teacher Kim can my friends come over into the centre?"

"Sorry bud but they're not part of the centre so I'm not allowed."

.

"Teacher Kim can Fleet have some of the treats?"

"I really wish I could but since they're not part of the centre and Max really doesn't want another incident I can't."

..

"I wish Teacher Kim would let us bring you guys in." grumbled the youngling.

The others groaned in agreement.

"Okay kids time to come in! The suns are too hot now and it's time to eat!"

The children walk begrudgingly towards the centre through the tall orange grass. The suns on this planet were so hot that even the children didn't complain when it was time to go back inside.

The ones part of the youngling centre made their way inside, waving goodbye to their friends who were not.

"..five, seven, aannd ten! Wow small group today." The human turned to head inside with the younglings when they realized something.

"...where are your parents?"

"Ours or Quin's?"

"Everyone's."

"They're in a meeting."

"Where?"

"On the ship." Juno pointed up.

"Do you know how long they'll be gone."

"I don't know. They left in a hurry...I think they forgot us."

"...get in." the human sighed and walked inside.

"REALLY!?" screamed the children.

"Teacher Kim you said that kids who aren't part of the centre can't come in!"

"I know I know and they're not! But I can't just leave three unsupervised kids out in this heat! Now get in, its hot and Quin your face is redder than usual."

...

"You get water, you get water, everybody gets water! Now who's hungry?"

Hands go up.

"So everyone. Alrighty then."

"Why is she letting us have water and food?" whispered Quin.

"I don't know...maybe it's a apex thing?" whispered back Juno. Her little brother simply chugged his third cup of water.

"Not an apex thing," replied Xw. "I think it's a pack thing?"

"Not a pack thing!" shouted Nova. "Most packs only share food with babies and the sick. Its a herd thing."

"Nope." said Marl.

"Herds only share with those who are family or have family status." explained Tarlak.

And on went the conversation. Each child trying to figure out what type of dynamic humans have. Meanwhile their teacher looks on with amusement.

....

"Oh my stars I am SO SORRY! Thank you so much human Kim!! I swear I thought I grabbed them when I brought their bags with me!" stressed the parent hugging her children with two arms while shaking the humans hands with the other two.

"No worries!" she smiled.

"And kids, I'm so sorry! You must be starving!"

"Oh I gave them some food, so they might not be that hungry. Also Judo had lots of water so he may want to use the bathroom first."

"Oh, how much do we owe you?"

"Sorry?"

"How much do we have to give you to replace the food and water they had?"

"Uh nothing?"

"...huh?"

"They were hungry and thirsty and I just did what any other adult-human! Would do...it's a human thing."

"....alright then. Thank you very much human Kim. Come along children."

And thus the younglings and adults learned what dynamic type the humans have. The human type. Which is honestly pretty stupid to the adults because just giving food to unknown children who aren't even their species? Are they trying to go extinct??

[lynnieos]

My friend once told me I seem like I have, and I quote "never touched a man or a woman in my life" and I've never been more offended in my entire life despite the fact that it's true

[tgcg]

an open fly walking

i didnt like this one but i thought id finally air it out since its been sat in my folders for months now

TG: hey karkat

CG: YEAH?

===

TG: you ever noticed you like

TG: walk weird

CG: WOW, OKAY.

CG: HAVE *YOU* EVER NOTICED THAT I DON'T GIVE A SHIT?

TG: pff

===

TG: no listen because i got my ears scoping that shit im like a scouter for dude activity

TG: ok maybe me mentioning it to you is gonna fuck up your ecosystem or something but

TG: you have the heaviest feet of the century man

CG: I DO???

TG: just thrust them straight down into the ground like youre trying to homebrew a san andreas fault

TG: viciously tamping on tectonic plates hoping for top score on the richter scale

TG: waging war against solid particles and the basic flow of gravity

TG: i could ID those footfalls out of a million i mean it

CG: SERIOUSLY?

===

TG: i mean theres nothing wrong with it but

TG: yeah

CG: I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU'RE FUCKING WITH ME RIGHT NOW.

TG: im not fucking with you striders honor

TG: when have i ever lied to anybody about anything

CG: NOT UNPACKING THAT QUESTION WITH YOU TODAY.

CG: BUT SHIT, HOLD ON. LET ME SEE.

TG: yeah take the umbrella go over there and just walk to me

CG: ON IT.

===

===

TG: see you just kinda slam em straight down dude

CG: THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY RIOTOUS FUCKING JOKE OF A LIFE.

TG: dont your feet ache

===

CG: MOOT POINT. THIS MIGHT SOUND INSANE BUT I'VE ACTUALLY HAD MY STRUT PODS FOR A WHILE. ANY KIND OF PAIN THIS WOULD'VE BEEN CAUSING WOULD BE TOTALLY FILTERED OUT OF MY SPONGE BY NOW AS BACKGROUND NOISE.

TG: damn i didnt think that through

TG: my shades

CG: ALRIGHT, GET BACK UNDER THE SHITTING UMBRELLA AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME.

TG: look ive fucked myself over here too i dont have shit to clean these with

TG: ugh

===

TG: guess its karma

CG: HOLY FUCK. HOW DID I NEVER NOTICE THIS BEFORE?

TG: i dunno but im gonna assume having a dad thats a literal crab monster is probably a contributing factor

TG: im guessing thats not a great role model for this kinda thing

TG: just conjecture i mean

CG: YOUR ENVY IS OVERWHELMINGLY OBVIOUS DAVE. AS A DISCLAIMER, HE WOULD'VE ABSOLUTELY KICKED YOUR ASS.

TG: yeah probably

CG: THAT'S PRETTY MUCH ALL THERE IS TO SAY ON THE MATTER.

===

TG: but see bro had me stringent on feather feets

TG: i bet i could slip across a bike horn warehouse with nary a fucking toot

CG: HAHA. ASSUMING YOU DON'T MAKE A TOTAL ASS OF YOURSELF, AS PER USUAL.

CG: IF YOU WEREN'T CONSTANTLY RUNNING YOUR GASH ABOUT EVERYTHING AND BEING AN INIMITABLE CLOWN I SERIOUSLY THINK YOU COULD BE ON PAR WITH YOUR CUSTODIAN.

CG: THAT IS A MONUMENTAL "IF".

TG: well look at it this way

TG: im basically doing you all a favor by being a dumbass

TG: never gonna get caught off guard by the bozo patrol

CG: WOW. GOOD POINT.

===

TG: also screw this can i use your shirt

TG: this stupid hoodie is just smudging my lenses up

TG: i cant see dick

CG: UH

CG: SURE, I GUESS.

TG: cool

===

TG: so yeah i could be prowling around like a goddamn verbal assassin sniping convos left and right

TG: but no ive got the decency to go bunp in the night

CG: YEAH.

CG: IT'S DEFINITELY COMPOUNDED BY THE CONSTANT INANE RAMBLINGS.

CG: BUT

CG: IT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY RELAXING, Y'KNOW? IT HAS ITS OWN RHYTHM.

TG: see yeah i sound it off and

===

TG: wait really?

CG: YEAH

CG: I DON'T KNOW

CG: FUCK. HOW DO I EXPLAIN THIS WITHOUT WANTING TO CRAM MY FROND DOWN MY PROTEIN CHUTE.

===

CG: IT'S LIKE

CG: A SALVE FOR MY AGGRAVATION SPONGE.

CG: YOUR VOICE IS THE HUMAN EQUIVALENT OF ASPIRIN.

TG: uh damn karkat hold your hoofbeasts i was talking about the rhythm thing

CG: ALRIGHT, THAT'S IT. I'M TAKING US BOTH THE FUCK OUT RIGHT NOW. YOU HAVE REACHED THE BAD END OF THIS CONVERSATION.

TG: you think thatd be heroic or just

CG: IF I WAS STILL GHOSTING AROUND THE RUINS OF SGRUB'S ARCANE FRIGGIN GAME SYSTEMS, THE COMPLETE LACK OF SHIT AFOOT NOWADAYS WOULD BORE ME TO DEATH.

CG: LIKE. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME OUR THERMAL HULL LEVELLED UP, DAVE?

TG: hah

===

TG: but uh

TG: i mean we had aspirin on earth

CG: NO, NUMBNUBS.

CG: I'M SAYING YOU ARE MY ASPIRIN.

TG: oh

CG: YEAH, TAKE THAT TO THE BANK AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR 20-KARAT ASS.

===

TG: heh

TG: well get this

TG: i will literally talk at you forever for free

TG: you got lifetime priority seating for the davealogues

TG: never gotta go to the drugstore again you can just get doped up on my dulcet tones for the rest of time

TG: take that and some of this

TG: im packin punches

CG: OW, FUCK! NO! MY MIGRAINES!

CG: SWEEPS OF VEINCLOTTING AND NERVEFRAYING DOWN THE FUCKING GAPER. BECAUSE OF YOU.

CG: YOU ASSHOLE, THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME.

CG: AND YOU'RE LAUGHING.

TG: chuckle up it only gets worse from here

===

CG: BE HONEST WITH ME. DID FONDLING MY SHIRT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET EVEN DO ANYTHING?

TG: barely but yknow sometimes you just gotta deal the cards youre given

TG: ill just be astigmatic for a while its cool

CG: PFF… OKAY MAN.

[argreion]

"Soft/smutty requests" you say, I can only think about comfort sex.

Putting it in short, reader is having a really bad day, or week, or month, too many thoughts about the future. Leon also is at his limit, back from a mission that lasted two weeks, mf got an injure he can barely stand.

Both exhausted with the head full of shit, not even a word is spoken during dinner, not even to ask why this man walks like he has a stick up to his ass. But when it's time to sleep and the lights off, that's when the heart opens. Cuddle and chatting session to catch up, turning into a slow fuck, full of kisses and the love both starved the time he was gone, of course, careful not to make his wound worse.

May not be a proper request, I've never done one, but feel free to expand the concept!

Sun-kissed

“Words are where most change begins.” — Brandon Sanderson

𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 — P in V/Riding, soft loving sex turned into Leon wanting pussy 'cause I said so. Lots of praise and sappy talk. A tiny bit of degradation. BIG hint towards cunnilingus. Talk of Leon's pain (suicide talk, drinking, possibly overdose talk cause I forgot if I kept it in. Alongside tiny blood and gore talk if it counts.) Stupid cringey argument over a table, because tables have FEELINGS.

𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝑪𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 — 7.4k

𝑵𝒊𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒆❜𝒔 𝑵𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒔 — So, uh, hi! UHM, I yapped a lot. I actually really enjoyed this! Uhm, I don't think really counts as comfort sex anymore considering this was an ask from two weeks ago BUTTTTT, I did go a lot into comfort and talking and emotions! Think it balances out! Kind of scared to post this but I know I got my moots love on this! Keeps me going! This MIGHT be shittily written cause lazily edited it so if there are mistakes you didn't see anything.

Please, make Leon wear his back brace and take his medication after he's home (P.S. don’t let Leon know we’ll be going to bingo.) — Ingrid.

Your eyes ran over the pastel yellow note from the bottom of Leon’s pill bottle. Standing in the bathroom with a hand on your hip. Brows furrowed at this peculiar find. That was odd, wondering how the government could sneak notes under pill bottles. First, it was learning who Hunnigan was and then realizing what kind of sneaky woman she could be when needed. Felt good to have her as a friend sometimes, even when it was her being on Leon's case.

That was before Leon arrived back at your front door. His arm pressed against the door frame with the most painful grin ever. Leon's teeth clenched and his breath stunk—doubt he even had mouthwash or toothpaste on hand on a mission. Not to mention the dirtied clothes, reeking of gore, and gunpowder. Your nose wrinkled at the smell and your sinuses hated it.

“You stink.” You stated the observation out loud. Hoping he’d explain, but he didn’t.

“Don’t ask about work.”

Leon brushed past you, stumbling against the wall. The grime on his shirt now taints soft colors on the painted wall. Of course, you helped him—that’s human decency—gently pushing the man to sit on the sofa, squeaking as his weight hit the cushions. Watching the dip on the sofa from his weight.

“Well, Leon," You started, reaching out to help him with his shirt. This had become the norm—the one routine you did every time he came back. Strip, bandage, bath, sleep, followed with food after he woke up. “You don't expect me to be curious when you come home stinking of ass? And you're—"

Your words caught in your throat as Leon helped you remove his shirt. Letting the stained fabric fall onto the floor, revealing many things you didn't wish to see—heaven forbid it came from Leon. Cuts, bruising, and a gunshot wound. Anger filled your body as you stared at the artwork. Is this even art? If so, it's beautifully grotesque.

“Don't ask about work, huh?" You repeated, tilting your head with a raised eyebrow. Won't even talk about work, but he'll make hints about Raccoon City like it's nothing. Nobody even knew what happened to Raccoon City still, but many could guess.

“Don't look like that, you'll get more wrinkles." The man smirked, using his fingers to flick your nose. Laughing at you flinching back and smacking at his arm.

“Dipshit, do you think this is the time for jokes!?” Concern boiled over into rage at his nonchalant attitude. Flicking of a nose, a joke, smirking, did he not value himself? Could a man not value himself but rather his looks? The jokes he makes that rarely hit and often made you cringe at the cheesiness.

Sometimes he didn't, did he? A year ago you remember when Chris pulled you along into a bar in Colorado. Colorado. You remember what Chris said without delving too deep into what was your mind,

“I wouldn't want you here unless it was needed. Please, talk to him." 

Sitting there with tired eyes he was. A bottle of ‘Aerial Shot’ in his hand. Worn biker gloves with the stench of sweat and unwashed leather. You'd never seen him look so dead before. 

The worst part was meeting his gaze. Awkwardly taking those seemingly quiet steps to sit beside him. What do you say to a man that's dying? Leon should've already been dead at this point. Gunshot wound, infected, surviving things. No wonder he never wanted to watch The Walking Dead. Why'd it take you a year to understand that? Guns and brains set him off, as did drinking too much.

“You're probably wondering why I'm here, huh?" You chuckled, staring down at the table. Blessing Chris and Rebecca for the heart-to-heart—one chance to get through to a stubborn man.

No response came from him. Body language said a lot for him instead. Tense, grip tightening on his shot glass. Impregnated silence… Was he that bad at saying a yes or no?

“This is the part where you say yeah, Leon."

He sighed, leaving you alone at the table. Picking the bottle up alongside himself like it's his baby. Did a bottle ever go ‘guu’?

Your hands laced together as you heard the gentle thumps of his boots slowly fading into the background. Chris wasn't happy, you could hear the steam coming from his ears. Wanting to cause a scene because someone was too much of a depressed loner to talk.

No, he just needs something firmer. Strong. Get the damn fucking bastard out and off of his own arse.

You moved out of the chair to follow after Leon. He always disappeared into the bathroom. Hope was something powerful, something you always had for Leon. Hoping he changed slightly, hoping that he could be changed. 

Slamming open the bathroom door to reveal that Leon was splashing his face with the sink while washing the ghost that haunted him. Their screams, tearful eyes, the sounds of people eating each other alive. Then there was you coming to lecture him on the right path—something he knew he didn't need. 

Your hand grabbed at his shoulder, halting his frantic washing. Overlooking him like his disappointed mother. Brows furrowed like her, too. Made him crumble into shambles as you reminded him so much. Remind him of an angel from the heaven he heard of. Why must you haunt him so?

“Stop avoiding this, Leon."

"You shouldn't be here at all. Chris is an idiot for even bringing you here." He snapped, shrugging your hand off of his shoulder.

He buried his head in his hands, groaning. Alcohol wasn't saving him from this vacation nor the stare of the woman he loved. Where was God when you needed him? Your angel was mean, father, mean for making him realize things. 

“Look," you started, moving his hand away from his face. “I'm here on personal matters too, not just because Chris wanted me here." 

Your arms encircled him and your chest pressed against his back. Looked like you were a koala on its mama. All snug and warm, despite the smell of a sweaty old man.

“They need you, Leon—I need you." The whisper fell from your mouth and into his ear. How'd animators draw flowing notes of music? Each word hit his heart, especially the last three.

At Leon's core, he was still like he was when he was twenty-one. Human.

Your hands moved over his, holding them. Protecting him from the mental battle in his head. You knew how much it meant to him to have you here. Regardless if it was after a fight, or when he was drinking.

“I know it's probably hard, ok? Killing things, coming home aching, and getting no break. I can't help you because I'm not exactly qualified for what you do, am I?"

The small sounds of you shuffling caught his attention. A small movement and you came into his peripheral vision. Standing there with a kind smile. Please, go away.

"I also know you probably don't want me here either. It hurts to know you can't avoid certain things. You probably couldn't avoid Chris. Just be glad it's me and not him… He's, well, something else with emotions.” You laughed, looking away from him in the mirror. Staring at yourself in the mirror then at him.

Staring at him made you realize a lot. Pain and resentment emanating from him. With each rise and fall of his chest, you could see it more. Even when he met your gaze at the mirror. You wish he got help.

Sometimes the value of man could be seen through gazes, words, and even their hands. Body language said a lot, and so did their responses. You thanked yourself and Chris for helping him become checks today. Well, mostly Chris. Sometimes, you couldn't help but think he needed something normal in his life.

Someone normal.

Something normal to him became jokes like these. Bleeding on a couch and there he was, flicking noses. Kennedy's charm never failed as you were defeated by his nonchalant attitude at home.

“Wrinkles, huh?" You sighed, kissing his forehead gently. Letting your nose rest in his hairline as you thought of what to do.

Ice…? A doctor's visit, too. Guess we're his little booker and Leon's the celebrity. The stunt celebrity who every day seemingly breaks his ass. What a silly comparison you thought of.

“Let's just make sure you're not dying, Leon. And then maybe we can have pasta. Your mother's recipe.”

“Mom's recipe was always good…” He tilted his head up slightly, using his fingers to gently push your head away. Made you flinch as he stood up, excusing himself towards the bathroom. Hearing him yell out towards you,

“And please, stop trying to eat my hair! It's not for sale, and I doubt it ever will be! Not until I'm old and wrinkly, then you can eat it. Scottie's Special Spaghetti!" 

Hair spaghetti wasn't the only thing that began to happen. Pills weren't his savior, as were the copious amounts of bandages used. Took an hour for one cut to stop bleeding, and then another started. Drove you to insanity as you stared at another box.

Shuffles across the wooden floor caught your attention. Forgetting the box to opt to peek out the door. Did Leon really not take a doctor's call to rest? Doctor's word was best, and he was too dense to not listen.

There he was, shuffling towards the bathroom where you were. Resting your hand on the door frame, you watched the suffering begin. Annoyed mutters as he finally makes it to the door, giving a smile. Hand on the wall to balance himself.

“You have a stick up your ass walking like that." 

Leon huffed, forehead wrinkling at your blunt statement. Spare him a little mercy, he can't sit down. couldn't sit down ever since Spain. He had to help one way or another, didn't sit with him right—Wouldn’t sit with him. “What do you want me to do? I thought we were supposed to help each other." He argued, his grip on the wall faltering. It'd be like Humpty Dumpty. The eggshell wouldn't crack, his back would. Well, probably a lot more than his back, technically.

"Well, Leon, I know you aren't going to sit your bum down and rest. I'm very tempted to force meds down your throat so you take care of yourself.” Your eyebrows were furrowed, pointing towards the living room. Did you need to be here? Explaining to the poor bastard to just relax? If Chris could come home more often than Leon, he was doing something wrong.

What did you say?

It caught Leon's attention, his hand twitching as he leaned up against the wall. There goes his pinky and there goes his thumb. Leaning down despite the rising pain inside my back. Exploding like pop rocks. A warzone at his lower back.

“Force meds down my throat?" The word rolled off his tongue. Followed by frustration, and that you even had the gall to say that. A bad taste settled in as words died in his throat. Being held back by his rationality. No one wanted the pretty guy to be an ass. He doesn't want to be, but what people say the least… exotic. No, exotic was a nice term to him. Peculiar, very-fuckin'-peculiar.

“Fine… I'll rest. If I hear a damsel or damoiseau in distress, busting my sticked-up ass for them.”

His white flag was accepted as he gave a kiss to your forehead. Dry crusty lips that needed that lip balm he loved. First, it was collecting guns. Then a record from the 1950s exploded into what was the wall of wonder. Wondering what deranged person decided to put records on the wall. Wish he didn't try to keep up with the times. Seeing Pinterest girls with records on their walls. Restaurants in New Orleans—a city of jazz and comfort food—follow the same deal. Now it's lip balm, lips soft and sweet. Something he adored by giving kisses. Sweet strawberry, benevolent blueberry, wonderful watermelon. Seriously, he needed to stop naming lip balms… His lips were already sweet enough without them.

With the parting of lips to a forehead, he bid adieu. Pushing himself back into the living room with the TV a bit too loud for your liking. He's already losing some his hearing, poor guy. Made you smile at him being logical, returning to check on things in the bathroom. 

Why were you buying yourself time till dinner? It was a good time to ponder what'd you make. What was near itGive? Was he near his date? What, why'd that come into your head?

To be frank, it was only a day since Leon came home. One day since he got to rest. How long could he keep this up? Were you a good lover for doubting him? Doubting someone you trust felt wrong. It was wrong, wasn't it? Watching a man come home more broken than before. The cracking of the perfect man in some ways. Leon always screamed the guy with the suburban house and wonderful wife.

Cracks weren't good for what he was. Every day, he seemed to grow another falling apart. Leon couldn't have known. He didn't genuinely know anything aside from killing. Didn't know what normal life in some ways felt like. Was his nine-to-five killing? It was like the records he collected. They're dated, like him. Spinning again with a needle to them. Instead, there was a bullet threatening to put a hole through his head.

“Why do I wonder about this theory…” Leon muttered into the air. Fading into the sounds of the TV. Letting out a heavy sigh as he let himself stare into the TV. Drowning out his thoughts.

He just couldn't, though.

Why would you shove drugs into his throat? Was he such an old man to you? 'Here you go, gramps, your medicine.’ Taken daily and gulped down with water.

The very thought of that sent him spiraling. Why was he always babied? He's not an idiot just because he has a perfect face. What was the count of proving people with his skill? Four? Three? Fuck, he lost count. His own lover? Made him pissed off at himself if he couldn't at least prove to you he's perfectly capable of taking care of himself. In his mentation, he slammed his fist on the table. Thoughts like these made him resent his parents for good genetics; he didn't want good genetics, he wanted to be treated decently.

The sound echoed through the apartment, causing you to jump. Almost dropping whatever was in your hand. Shoving it onto the sink as you feared the worst.

What if he fell?

“...Leon?" Your voice was soft, as if scared. Looked around the corner to just see a closed fist on the wood. Observing it raise to reveal a crack in the wood.

"LEON!?”

His neck snapped at the sound of your voice. Watching the frenzied grabbing of a coffee table. Looking at it like it was a baby. People and their grandparents' furniture… Ironic, giving his alcoholism still. The baby he couldn't give up.

“W-why did you do that!?" 

A sharp slap against Leon's cheek from you sent him overboard. On instinct twisting your arm. Pain sprouting through it, Indian burns hurt. Hated when kids at school did it too. All for laughs when someone's in pain.

You yanked your arm out of his grasp. Rubbing the irritated skin as you spat incensed words.

“You know how important that table is to me! How am I supposed to show my parents it's cracked? Are you dumb!? Did being shot in the back make you stupid? Or did it miss to hit your brain!?”

Words gushed out without thought. Leon is staring at you like a hurt puppy. You wanted his head blown off? Why would you say that over a table?

“You wanted me to die?" He asked calmly, gripping the couch arm as he sat up. Swinging his legs over the side. “Or did it miss to hit your brain?" 

“N-no!? I know I said it but, of course not! I-I just… I don't know!?”

Hands were thrown as you went into a frenzy. Tears wanted to fall out of your eyes as you freaked out over a table. He didn't know the importance of a table because he didn't have his parents.

Those words you said… What the fuck?

“Look, I may not be the most amazing person ever, but wanting me to be shot in the head is where the line is, ok? Why don't you cool off? There's the gas station, and the—”

"Why don't you fucking cool off the gun!? When are you going to stop your little job!?”

You were switching tactics. Want to draw him out so you feel better. Learning that during training wasn't fun, only in his early twenties. “You know what? If you want to play this game, I'll play it too.” He sighed, rubbing his face. How many times has he now? Did it at work with training rookies, with Hunnigan, friends when he rarely went out, and you, too.

“You're wishing I was dead over a table, what's the logic? Look, I know it's important but dead? Dead? I thought you were better than wanting someone dead! Besides, it's only a crack, not a smashed leg." His thumb rubbed over the crack from earlier. A gentle apology to an inanimate object.

Logic against emotions never mixed well. Always end up with one storming out—that one is you. First, it was Leon who waved his white flag a year ago, now it was your turn. Hands raised as you responded to his reason,

“Fine, fine, I'll admit maybe it sometimes. That still doesn't help the fact you cracked the table. The fact we went and got it from my parent's place?” Your hands moved on their own, motioning between the two of you to change your point. You two, a duo, couple, buddies, lovers, WE.

“Who slams their hand on a table in the first place? How is your hand even that strong to do that? Are you doing drugs?”

Drugs? Drugs? Accusatory. Did your eyes fail you? He knew you barely left the house nowadays. He recently found a study on his phone that said eyeballs needed sunlight to grow, and you lacked it. Lacked the past sunshine he knew, bright and sweet. Why'd all relationships end like this? Turning red from anger, exploding like dwarf stars as a relationship's lifetime. Exploding…

You excused yourself, going into the kitchen to prepare dinner anyway. Waving your hands as you excused. Fussy little thing you were. Leon watched you, face full of concern over your emotions and what was said earlier. He knew you didn't mean it, but if you said it, meant you thought it. If you thought it, it meant you doubted. If you doubted then he… He didn't know.

Something felt off during dinner, it could've been Leon going suddenly quiet or the thoughts in your head. The scrapes of metal against porcelain filling thick silence. Thick like mustard gas that choked Leon of his voice and made his tears fall.

“I'll take care of cleaning up, you go get ready for bed. You'll probably shower anyway." You muttered, taking your leave from the table. Collecting plates as you went, lingering on Leon as he paused. Frozen like those Greek statues—perfect even in mental agony.

Still, he didn't want to speak, words not wanting to come out. He didn't need his voice to convey his pain from earlier, the regret he had. Your answer was received through his subconscious responses and body language.

Stealing his plate away from him to bring it back to its home. You started on the obvious: cleaning up after eating. Using the same sponge you had for months alongside dish soap. Didn't understand the ads about how certain dish soaps were unique—it’s just soap.

Soap that cleaned, soap that was washed away. Just like your thoughts circling down that very drain. The fight from hours ago was still reasonably in your mind. Fuzzy as you dried your, hands off. Moving to retreat to your safe space of sorts.

Bedrooms did wonders in many ways. Offered comfort, love, passion, and the chance of reconciliation. You chose right with the sheets, cottony fabric. Was it basic? Perhaps. But it felt right for an ‘American’ home.

Tearing casual wear off for something more flowy. Nobody wanted to be hot when they slept—except the maniac Leon was. Your clothes drop to the floor, leaving you bare to the choices in their closet. Rummaging through it as the man of the day finally made it to the bedroom. Slipping on something comfortable for the night.

Now it was his turn to change his clothes, well, more like stripping from them. 

Courteousness could've helped to mend what seemed like the bridge between the two.

“Do you need help?" A question you asked, reaching out towards the male to tug at his shirt. The silent hand between each other's minds. The sorry neither of you wanted to say but had to learn.

Leon thought for a moment, chuckling as he looked up at you, “Sure, if you wouldn't mind?” His smile was soft yet confused, wondering if this was your way of apologizing. Did you think it was an apology? He could've guessed to accept it.

With a drop of a head, you couldn't help but let a smile show through. Huffing at his confused answer. Letting your fingers already help with the stubborn fabric. Pulling it over his head to reveal a canvas full of dark purples and reds. Pretty together and alone, but this canvas was… Unique. Showing the pain one has endured will bring pride. With the main fellow of the show being the fresh gunshot wound on his side.

“Are you staring at my muscles or the bruises?" Leon asked, quirking an eyebrow. Moving to sit on his side of the bed. Working on his pants to reveal Calvin Klein boxers—dark like his soul. (That's what he always said, you ball of depressing sunshine.)

“The bruises that cover the muscles?" You queryed, moving to sit beside him. Hands clutching the edges of the bed as you glanced over at him. Observing his actions as he went on with his night.

“How long are they keeping you from work?" It was a good question to ask. He never said, Leon never wanted to speak about work in his home. It felt forbidden to him like he wasn't keeping you safe from a part of him.

“A week," he simply responded, finally shrugging his pants off. Moved his elbows on his knees as he met your gaze. “Wish it was less sometimes." 

“Why less? Wouldn't you want more? It's a break, Leon. Do you not like coming home?"

If he had to mentally delve into his memories, he would've fallen off that building long ago. Floors high with a bioweapon charging for him. He couldn't leave Chris with Rebecca, couldn't leave you alone with guilt and regret. Pretty tears like yours made him feel regret.

Breaks in a sense were bad. He knew the fact he wouldn't escape the government or their work. The work pulled him away from his tear-stained pillow and favorite pair of sweats. Gave him holes in the body and sweet blots of color on his skin. Fuck him and his brain, wanting to save everyone.

“Complicated, real complicated.”

Well, complicated isn't exactly the most honest answer. It just was used as a general term with him. A cover-up.

"If it's about earlier… I was stupid, ok? Who wouldn't be? It's just a table, I know. Just that table means a lot to my family, despite how ridiculous that sounds.” Gesticulating as you talked, Leon couldn't help but notice the clear unease to admit you were wrong—oddly finding it adorable. Resting his chin in his palm as you spoke your truth.

“There's a lot I want to say to you, Leon. Mostly just… Why all this? This job, it's killing you, literally. Your back is worse than a grandma's, you're becoming a dopehead at this point, too. I get antidepressants, but then all these pain medications and others amongst them. I'm not trying to be the person who says drugs don't help problems, but too many hurts you. I'm happy that you're seemingly happy with them, I am.”

Words were bubbling up as you poured emotions out. A waterfall that never ceased and honestly could've made you gag. Those clowns that pull fabrics from their mouths, how? Each fabric you pulled made you want to cry from the emotions. The guilt, pain, resentment, love, all in each pull.

Each fabric you pulled from your mouth to Leon felt like a prodding. Slowly turning into a stab that leaked oil. Catching aflame with certain words and making him recall painful memories. He wasn't a dopehead, he didn't want to be. No one wanted to stare at the six bottles of pills he tried to take daily.

"I want you to take care of yourself, to just take a fucking break.”

Breaks… How many vacation days did he have? Time paid off? Er, he'd have to check. Tapping his finger on his cheek as he tried to recall.

“Could try, but it'll cost you a little somethin'." 

Leon leaned close, kissing your temple before resting his head on yours. Chuckling to himself as his hands reacted on their own. Interlacing with yours as he smiled to himself.

“Debt paid, guess I will take a break." This statement made you breathe a mental sigh of relief, even after countless talks of his well-being. “I do actually hear you, though.”

His voice took a serious turn, as thoughtful-sounding as he could be. Reflection on what he could improve on, which was being vocal.

“Soon, I promise. I think I may be getting towards the end of work. Losing the Kennedy spark and all I have is a title.” Leon recalled Helena, or Patrick. The title of being the savior of Ashley Graham. The other being one of the first and best of the D.S.O. "Got a tummy to show for protecting a shitty country as well.” He laughed at his own self-deprecation—the walking circus he was. “Had that talk with Chris during last year, actually. When you were at the bar with him, after you left?”

He glanced over at you with fond eyes, “I talked with him during that. Helped me a lot, you did too." The man paused, stiffly rubbing his neck. "Chris also… Said hi." 

Classic Chris, felt like a family friend now. Alongside Leon's unique bunch of friends that he called colleagues, but you knew better. Every aging man needed their little circle of buddies. Made you giggle at Leon's annoyed expression. 

“Chris and his hellos… Loves popping his head in when you're home. Do you two even still talk?”

"Rarely,” Leon replied. "He likes to go out for drinks sometimes, quite nice. Sometimes he's one the only guy who gets me.” He gave a forced smile. Earning a gentle punch in the arm. One he brushed off with a push.

“At least you have fun with him, he's a clown once you get past the sternness."

This felt odd. Welcoming. Just a simple conversation with your lover. Backs falling against the bed and limbs tangling themselves as you spoke about life. Two little squids comforted in the presence of their mate. Losing yourselves in a everyday conversation. Pretending that earlier had never happened.

As the two became comfortable, so did your words. Reaching out to stroke his cheek. Over the faint line on it from years ago he said. Doubt he'd ever tell you it was from a old mentor. Thumb slowly moving down to his lips, a kiss being put on the pad.

“I'm still sorry for earlier, ok?" You whispered. Guilt had set in earlier at your emotional outburst. Telling him to die but you meant it in a caring way. Putting a hurt animal to rest with a bullet. If it was him, you'd give him that mercy. Let him finally rest as blood oozed from his corpse.

“You’re getting too old for this job. It's too physically straining on you. Drugs won't save you everytime and the hospital isn't either. How many names and faces do you know from there, huh?”

"Probably around fifteen, maybe twenty. Same doctor but different nurses.”

"See?” Your argument was valid in your mind. If he could remember faces, he'd visited it too much. It hurt you as much as it hurt him to dislocate a shoulder or get a bullet in the back.

"I love you Leon Kennedy, I really do.” A whisper you meant, feeling solemn. Leaning over to capture his lips against yours. Fondness and desire in one simple action. Feeling his hand curling up on the back of your scalp. Leon's eyes fluttering shut as he allowed it.

Your lips left his, breathless as you stared down at him. Watching him smile and the slight crinkle on the corner of his eyes.

“Love you more.”

"More, huh?” You jested, pressing your noses together with a giggle. Gently kissing him again as your hips straddled him. Keeping him pinned at the waist down. Hands moving to the hem of his shirt to pull it off.

“Can I…?”

“Can you…” Leon trailed off, looking at you expectantly. Before letting himself take off his shirt. Revealing little wisps of chest hair and a gunshot wound on his shoulder that's faded from time. Now just a light patch of skin with a ring in the center. It's younger cousin on his side, bright red and certainly angry.

With such gentle touches, Leon smiled—such care and caution. Made him aroused at the love. Made the back of his mind also angry he was getting aroused at something so simple. Trying to make him say something or pry you off with the excuse of pain, but no.

Your eyes wandered the pretty little canvas of bruises and scars his chest was. Even with the new gunshot wound. At least it was beginning to heal. You'd be gagging if you saw it before he left the hospital. Bleeding and the inside of human muscle and flesh.

“I don't know what to say right now," you mumbled, giggling at his stare at the awkward silence pervading the room.

The awkward silence felt right, comforting as you stare at each other. Payback for whenever Leon watched you.

“A little friend does." He whispered, watching your face burn at what he meant from friend. His hands grasped your hips, pulling your pelvis in to rub against his bulge. Situating it perfectly to where he could grind against your pussy. Seeing him so entranced watching his bulge rub against your underwear. Breath caught in his throat as he loved it. 

“Gentle, Leon,” you remind, shifting your leg to not brush against his wound. A little uncomfortable with the way your muscles felt but if it made him not hiss in pain, worth it. “You don't like thinking about these things, huh?"

“You don't get to think about many things in my line of work. I only think about getting ready to be back in your arms—where I belong."

Sweetheart he was with those words, made you all giddy and embarrassed. Waving your hand like those shit Lifetime movies towards the Jock with a pea-sized brain. All this grinding and loving talk made you mush. Should’ve been a housewife at this point if you fell for such suave.

“You jest too much,” you scoff, rolling your shoulders back as you prepared for a smooth ride. Grinding sexes against each other while seducing the other with half-lidded yearning eyes. Running your hands up his chest to his throat. Wrapping your hands around the muscle to give a gentle squeeze, earning a soft moan.

“Babygirl, you know what a little squeeze does to a guy like me.” Leon purred, his words becoming husky. Rubbing his hands up and down your thighs and hips. Resting his head back on his pillow. “Pull those panties aside, gotta see my babygirl’s little pussy.”

Giggles erupted from your lips as you shuffled back a little. Instead of embarrassment, arousal was coursing through you. Simple acts could set someone aflame so fast. Dirty talk was one of them if paired with the right voice and man.

Instead of pulling it aside, you pulled them off. Albeit a bit awkwardly due to your pose, but still could be done. Dangling it in front of his face for the alluring factor before throwing them at the wall.

With your underwear out of the way, Leon got a good show of your cunt. Looking at the slick that made him groan involuntarily. Imagining the scene that would play out alongside you. Being lost in his world made his body react for him, making him grind into the warmth you brought. Rocking you back and forth against him.

“There she is! Good girl, baby, just like that.” He rasped, glancing up at you. Noticing you were entranced as well, the way he handled himself.

Leon chuckled, reaching out with his free hand to grab your chin. Snapping you out of the trance as you meet his gaze. So mesmerized by a simple movement. “Eyes on me, Miele. You're doing so good for me.”

His hand left your chin to return back to it's resting place; your hip. Guiding you to grind against his bulge.

“You're unfair if I have to be bare and you get to keep your boxers on." You huffed, impatiently yanking his boxers down. Watching it hit his abdomen with a small slap against his skin. Leaking precum onto the skin, made you let a appreciative hum. “Better, I don't wanna be lonely." You chuckled, mimicking an earlier Kennedy wink.

Why were you two chuckling or laughing so much? You felt like the two of you were having your virginities taken. The awkward sex, shuffling of sheets, and being embarrassed. To be honest, it had been a while considering Leon left home so often. Leaving you without any genuine love-making.

“How about you lie on me? It'll be easier, promise.” Leon motioned with his hands towards his chest. Free and open like the two of you. Sweet smile on his face that revealed those dimples you loved.

Taking the offer, you moved to lay on him. Ear pressed to his chest as was his cock against your opening. Your arms wrapped around his chest as you sunk down. Letting out a soft moan at the insertion.

He rubbed your back, comforting you as you grew accustomed to him again. Murmuring soft words of praise,

“Good girl, just like that.”

His fingers went up and down your back. Languidly thrusting his cock up into you. “Missed this, missed you," he moans, bucking his hips up into you on accident. Squeezing him like a vice as his cock head pressed up into that sweet spot. “Missed that face you make when taking my fat cock." 

“Missed you too," your hands go to stroke his chest. Propping your head up on his chest with your chin. Face in a faux pout as you blink slowly. Letting out a small gasp every few thrusts. “We haven't done this in a while, Leon." 

“Yeah, we really haven't." Leon sighed, letting his head rest back against his pillow. “Look, I'm still sorry for not being here for you." 

He looked back at you, eyes somber as he added more, “It's hard. I know you want to know but I can't tell you. I'm afraid of what'll happen if I tell you. The government is terrifying powerful. I don't want you to die because of me."

It was obvious the government was terrifying, seeing how it reacted to certain things. Police brutality, shitty presidents, probably running some bioweapon deal underneath it. Power hungry just like everyone else. Those who denied being power-hungry were always the ones who were most. They just knew when to not say they were—they were smart.

“I could see that, Leon. I know what you do, ok? Bioweapons? Fight them? You and the government aren't exactly ‘low-key’. I'm sure a lot of the public knows.” You answered, feeling odd while talking about the government with Leon during sex. Such a turn-on.

Of course you'd know, even if he didn't want to go into details—mostly because it invalidates his contract and have himself and you be shot; he knew you weren't dumb. Worst part it was during something so vulnerable.

"Yeah, that's the bad part." He muttered, letting his hands grab your cheek. Giving it a small pinch as he gave a smile. “You look so pretty when you're taking my dick.”

“Turn off?" In truth, it only did a little. Knowing it would've gotten you a harsh thrust into your core. “I love you, but geez… You are something else with certain words.”

"Ah, losing my charm now, hm?” Leon thought to himself, pursing his lips as his eyes seemingly ran after some cleverly thought up phrase that made girls wet. "Ah, I think I got one.”

He drew closer, tipping his head forward so your noses touched. Knowing the smile on his face as he purred out sultry words, “Been thinking about this all day, especially when you made dinner. Wanted to take you over the dishwasher and fuck that tight little pussy into being mine.” His hands grabbed at your hips, moving you up and down on his cock faster. Fucking you with a purpose. The feeling made your eyes flutter, biting your lip to stop yourself from moaning.

“Leon…” You moaned out, hearing the slap of skin behind you. "Y-you're ‘pposed to be gentle!"

A loud whine came from your throat, followed by a smack to your ass. Your shoulders jumping at the sudden harsh smack. Fingers digging into Leon's chest as he fucked you himself.

“Mmmm, I know, baby," he groaned, “But this pussy’s too perfect for me to not fuck.”

Leon laughed, eyes crinkled. All the while his dick kept curling up your walls to hit you again and again in that sweet, gooey spot. Making you leak down his cock to his balls.

Noticing his effect, he adjusted his hand to where he could rub lazy circles into your clit. Making your thigh quiver at too much stimulation. Hips tried to avoid his stubborn hand as he grew relentless in the stimulation.

You leaned forward to kiss him, before pushing his bangs back. Shutting yourself up so you wouldn't get a noise complaint from your next-door neighbors. They didn't need to hear more of Leon fucking you right. Felt amazing to finally be able to feel him again. His hands on your hips, dick curling up inside of you, lips against yours. Made a girl almost cry at the luck.

“Stop being so tight, gonna choke my dick out of oxygen and blood." Leon chuckled, his eyes crinkling at the corners. He ran his hands up and down your back, moving to your neck. Pressing your foreheads together so he could gaze at you.

“I love you…” Leon murmured, pulling you back in for another kiss you eagerly accepted. Hands curled up into his hair and pulled it. Pulling away from the kiss to pull his head back. Delivering kisses from his jaw to his throat. Nipping at the skin that made him moan. Making him roll his hips up into you quicker. How'd that angel a year ago become such a succubus in his arms?

"Love you too.” You responded, burying your head in his neck as you began to moan. Biting down on the skin that'll leave a bruise. 

With such love came passion, each thrust carrying it. Each touch of Leon's fingers on your skin lighting it afire. The nails scratched the vulnerable flesh as he started huffing. Reaching its peak, as does every man that ages.

“I got you, don't worry." His hands tightened around you. Pulling you tight against his chest as he rushed to climax. Balls slapping against your pussy and hearing the vibrations of his voice in his throat. Rumbling with each thrust. Almost seemed pathetic with how he was acting.

“That's it baby, you're doing so good f'me. Taking me so well. Just let go, squeeze my cock. Wanna feel you gush around me.”

Oh, sweet fuck those words sent you over the edge. Drenching his cock with more slick. Whining at the overstimulation with his quick thrusts. Crying as he pulls you from his neck to give you a sloppy kiss. Muffling his last groan he released himself inside of you. Hips slowly came to a halt as he panted.

“That’s my girl" Leon whispered, giving one last sweet kiss before resting his head back against his pillow. Letting his arms fall from your body to rest beside him.

Taking it as a sign to get off of him, you scooted off. Almost pulling him out of you before he stopped you with his hand being lazily raised.

“Wanna stay in my pussy a little bit longer. Too lazy to pull out.”

You groaned, brows furrowed but relenting as you pulled him into his side into a spooning position. Moving to where your back pressed against his. Arm wrapped around your waist and stubble rubbing against your neck. Leon already rubbing himself into the crook of your neck. Resting his forehead in the crook with an appreciative hum.

“Such a good girl you were." Leon praised, kissing your shoulder. Giving both your shoulder and neck small ‘good job’ kisses. “Kinda hurting, though…” He mumbled, groaning as he pushed his weight into your back.

“I did say while getting my brains fucked out you're supposed to be gentle. La mia brava ragazza.” Your hands squeezed his forearms. Sighing as you came down from your high. Tired from the dick in you and dreading having to wake up with dried cum on your thighs.

“I’ll get out in a few minutes, need to shower anyway.” Leon chuckled warmly, finally catching his breath. His hands come to hold your chest, giving a small squeeze. Not sexual in any way, just something comforting he did.

“Count me in…”

“When I wanted to come shower with you, I didn’t say eat me the hell out, Leon.” You hissed, swatting him with a towel as you stumbled out of the shower. Second orgasm within the hour and you're shaking like a little lamb. Already watching Leon drying his hair off with a shake and towel. Glancing over at you with a cheeky smile. You paused, before shrugging, ok, maybe it was good. Too good with his stubble rubbing up against you. Sucking on your clit like a lollipop.

“You expect a man like me not to take this opportunity?” He asked incredulously, a hand on his chest as he raised an eyebrow towards you. Almost as if offended you didn’t know who he was despite being his lover. “You hurt me, amore mio.”

As expected, he couldn’t help but jest at you. Watching you shake your head and pinch the brow of your nose. Offering a temple kiss in kind of his attempt to make you smile. “I’ll stop for tonight, don’t worry.”

“You should.” To keep yourself from losing another brain cell at your smitten lover, you dried off. Leaving him to his own devices while you dried your hair and body.

Leon smiled, before noticing the pill bottle on the bathroom sink. Taking it as his medication for the week is another opportunity for conversation. “So, this is what they gave me?”

He held the bottle in his hands, giving it a small shake with an estimate of how many pills were in it. Before moving to read the label and daily amount. Reading the daily amount, he hummed, before noticing the sticky note.

“You’re going to bingo without me?” It shattered his heart as he said it out loud, glancing over at you. Watching your eyes widen at the word ‘bingo’. Bingo? What’d he know about bingo? He only knew where everyone went for bingo.

“Bingo? What about bingo?” You asked, confused as you looked up to see the pill bottle in his hand. 

“Oh…”

Someone’s getting an angry phone call later.

𝑻𝒂𝒈𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 — @rigorwhoring, @xoxostarlet, @leqonsluv3r

If you wanna be apart of my taglist just send a DM or ask! I don't mind! Tomorrow I'll be dropping two bots! Then you will see me a week or so later! Love you guys! <3

[mulletmitsuya]

Toman Groupchat

Warnings: swearing, the topic of sex is brought up a lot, mentions of the r word (i don't actually say it i just say "r word"), gayness, mentions of depression, mentions of suicide, teenage boys. also snuck in a lot of personal headcanons so that might not be your thing

Desc: Mikey lost his V-card

Mikey: just had the sex

Mikey: it's not all that, tbh

Mikey: i didn't like it

Mikey: i was quite indifferent to the situation actually

Mitsuya: that's great 👍

Smiley: you're the last one to lose your v-card and you come back with a report like this?😒

Smiley: we want details

Draken: whose we?

Mitsuya: no we don't

Chifuyu: it must have been difficult tackling the whole issue with you being 5'3 and all

Mikey: you're an inch taller than me😐

Chifuyu: "taller" being the key word

Baji: what didn't you like about the sex?

Baji: i think sex is great

Kazutora: i think it's super nice until you get in over your head and freak out about your performance so you end up having a panic attack and she just leaves

Smiley: LMAOOOOOO

Draken: that's actually kinda sad, you good?

Kazutora: no? i'll never emotionally recover. never again

Baji: maybe it should be with someone you trust and have been friends with for a number of years. maybe even your best friend who would do anything for you. that's just my opinion tho

Draken: just tell him ffs. anything but this

Kazutora: i have no girl friends?? the only women i know who're affiliated with this friendgroup are hina (taken), emma (mikey's sister and also taken), and yuzuha (gay)

Baji: why does it have to be a girl

Mikey: bro

Hakkai: 💀

Smiley: mention homosexuality once and here Hakkai comes

Hakkai: 😐

Kazutora: Baji i know you're gay and i support your lgbtq+ lifestyle but i'm not into dicks like you are man

Baji: what about assholes

Mitsuya: what's the point of this, like just ask him out atp

Mikey: you'd let KAZUTORA top???? insane

Kazutora: what's wrong with me topping? also who am i topping??

Smiley: well you're a twink so you're obviously a bottom

Chifuyu: Kazutora are you actually just gonna ignore what everyone else is saying

Kazutora: aren't you guys talking to Baji?

Draken: are you stupid or what

Kazutora: i'm really confused rn can we just to back to talking about Mikey

Mikey: yes actually. i've decided that i don't like sex and won't be doing it again

Chifuyu: bad day for Takemitchy

Takemitchy: what?

Chifuyu: well since you ride his dick so much

Takemitchy: HUH

Takemitchy: i've never done that with Mikey-kun tho??? i'm with Hina? also I'm straight so I don't understand what you mean by that 😥

Chifuyu: i don't actually mean-

Chifuyu: nvm

Baji: are we allowed to call people the r word anymore

Angry: no it's a slur

Baji: you're probably mad because people said it to you huh? lmao

Angry: yes

Baji: oh

Smiley: i didn't even mean it Angry it was just that one time

Angry: several, one times. but okay

Angry: i still love you

Smiley: can you not say that in front of our friends like idk what to do rn cause i can't say it back so it looks embarssing for you

Angry: 😕

Smiley: ...

Angry: ☹️

Smiley: i love you too

Angry: thank you

Chifuyu: very rare Smiley human decency moment

Draken: you guys are such weird siblings but that was great to watch. character development in a matter of seconds

Smiley: you should all kill yourselves

Mikey: man i really want to

Mikey: that was a literal joke before you guys get weird

Draken: you've actively tried to kill yourself tho

Mikey: yeah but like i won't do it anymore

Baji: we must just, believe you?

Mikey: i know that's hard to do because i lie all the time but yes

Draken: not a convincing argument but nice try

Mitsuya: terrible try actually. Mikey should we be worried?

Mikey: miss me with that gay shit, i'm fine

Mitsuya: i hate you guys so much

Draken: not me tho cause i'm your og

Mitsuya: 😐

Mitsuya: yeah i guess

Draken: 🤞

Draken: i'm gonna go out with my girlfriend now

Draken: also Mikey you're probably asexual. or you haven't found the right one to do it with yet idk

Mikey: what's asexual

Draken: google it

Mikey: Ken-chin c'mon i'm having a crisis rn

Draken: basically low or very little sexual attraction to others

Draken: there's a whole spectrum to it tho so you should probably do some research because that was an extremely watered down explanation

Draken: i'm ace too if that helps

Baji: Emma's a whole ass slut so how does she deal with that

Smiley: imagine bagging Ryuguji Ken with his sexy ass and he doesn't wanna smash. tragic

Draken: first of all, Baji i'll fucking kill you, never say that about Emma again

Draken: and fuck you Smiley

Angry: are you traumatized because of living in a sex orientated/obsessed environment so you eventually began to detest any affiliation with the act?

Draken: yes actually

Angry: i see

Mikey: i just don't like it. i'm not traumatized like Ken-chin :(

Draken: it's whatever

Baji: calm down i didn't call Emma a slut as an insult i just mean it as a describing word because she likes fucking

Baji: i've known her longer than you and she's been fucking since she knew what the thing was

Mikey: i probably should have addressed that as an older brother or something

Mikey: yk, cause i take care of my family

Baji: now she takes care of you with your chronically depressed ass

Mikey: 😒

Kazutora: is Emma also traumatized? like the opposite of Draken?

Mikey: wait should i ask?? her mom did abandon her and she did grow up without a father figure so like maybe i should talk to her

Smiley: you didn't have to dish out her problems like that 💀

Baji: she's got the Sano slut genes because wasn't Shinichiro falling in love with different people everyday? then your dad was impregnating people all the time. skipped Mikey tho

Draken: not everything is trauma related. also Emma just likes sex. it's not a huge deal breaker and if it was she would tell me and we'd talk about it

Mikey: what about having kids?

Draken: stop asking me this shit we'll do that when we're ready

Smiley: it's crazy how Draken is one of the healthiest people here. always reacting sensibly to situations and dealing with his trauma normally. he's such a good guy. hate him

Draken: love you too

Mikey: did he deal with it all that healthily if he beats people to a pulp most of the time

Draken: i stopped doing that

Baji: why though, you were an actual unit

Baji: wasted talent. i still beat people up

Draken: Emma said to

Mikey: fair

Smiley: Mitsuya could be on Draken's level too but something went wrong along the way cause he's a boy liker

Mitsuya: 🖕

[sunny-mercya]

Parents Regrets

02. Fever Nights

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Batfamily x Male Child Reader

Masterlist

Another sleepless night for the Wayne family. A whole week it was now, in which they hadn't got a single amount of sleep. Tired they were, irritated, cranky and grumpy—to put it nicely—on it's finest level.

And the sole cause for this was you.

You had gotten a fever, heaven above knows from where. One of the strong kinds, which a adult could sweat off but a child not.

And a way of telling, for children who are in delay of speaking, was throughout crying.

Jason sighed deeply through his nose. Rubbing his eyes—pressing his palms into them—pinching the bridge of his nose. He looked down at his baby brother, who squirmed around in whining, not crying anymore but still teary eyed, of not liking the warmth—even though the only thing your wearing are diapers and a oversized shirt.

Jason has come, after some months of destroying something in rage, to terms with it of having another sibling, a much younger one, again.

Taking the washcloth from your forehead, Jason picked you up. You were starting to get fussy again and before another hellish cry would erupt from your tiny vocals, Jason decided to carry you a bit around.

«You know I love you sunshine, but a little bit of sleep would be nice, for the both, all of us» said Jason, more to himself than you in the sense of your not able to understand and reply at all.

You weren't the healthiest one—I mean Tim was unhealthy too, but in contrast to Tim, who lacks sleeps, human decency and only drinks his coffee on a empty stomach—wasn't prone to get easily sick, like you do.

Doctor Liz, after many check ups, told them that you have a weak immun system and that there wasn't anything to do about it—expect for medication and treatment vacations.

Jason would've comment, that there was a way—the lazarus pit or some dark magic rituals, but Bruce has already warned him not to bring it up. He could understand it though, doing one of those options would equal lots of pain for you and if your tiny body and mind could handle it was another question.

~~~

It was 4AM and all Tim wanted was a good old big cup of coffee to drink and being interrupted by Jason and the little annoyance of a brother—who cries, screams and shits endless—wasn't part of his plan. Tim glares at them, grip around his cup tighten.

«Can't you keep that thing away from kitchen?»

«Now now Timber, don't be so rude. We're just wanna have some chocolate milk,»

«I swear if he gonna cry again, I will scream.»

Jason ignored Tim, rummaging through the cupboards and fridge with one hand and preparing you a bottle of lukewarm chocolate milk. Hopefully this time you're able to drink it and not vomiting it all out again.

Tim glanced from time to time up from his phone at Jason and you. Tim wouldn't say he hated you, it's just being constantly keep awake from your crying was taking a toll on him.

«I don't think your choco-milk addiction is good for [Name].» mumbles Tim, eyeing the chocolate milk in your bottle wearily.

«Pff, better than Coffee don'tcha think?»

«And what if he is lactose intolerant?»

Jasons amusing smile fall instantly when Tim has pointed out the possibility of it.

«Fuck.» Jason cursed out, thinking back to all the times you had a endless pooping after you drank your chocolate milk. He never thought milk was the reasons for it, thought you only had a very sensitive stomach.

Tim groaned loudly when you started crying again. Hiding his face into his crossed arms onto the counter and screamed.

~~~

Your fever still hadn't gone down. Sometimes it would a bit, but then would rise again and with Jason constantly having giving you milk, a new problem has rising up, which adds to your feverish state.

Bruce bounced you on his leg, humming a melody and shushing you gently, trying to calm you down. Another sleepless night he guessed.

Bruce still doesn't what the reasons is for you feeling so unwell, besides the news of you being lactose intolerant. Maybe he should bring you into the hospital, Liz probably has some medication to help you. Then again Bruce wasn't sure if you would take this form of separation so greatly.

Just for a little bit, just for a little bit more they have to endure sleepless nights. You're recovery would just take a bit of time, nothing to fret.

Oh, but Bruce didn't know just how endless the nights would be go.

[confused-simp-jpg]

(boy)friend

Pairing: holland!Peter Parker / reader

(no pronouns used for reader as far as I know)

Warnings: brief mention of bullying (and a shitty ending cause I suck at writing those)

General Plot: You are on a quest to befriend your awkward schoolmate and find that you might become something a little more

Genre:                fluff

Words:               1.2k

A/N: Honestly, I just wanted to try posting on here for the first time so I put together a little fanfic, so it might not be the most well written and thought out story, so please excuse all the plot holes and poor writing.

masterlist

A new schoolyear had begun and like every year you had devoted yourself to making a new friend. Having been the quiet kid with no friends you had decided to overcome your fear of talking to new people and after finding a great group of friends you started to look for new additions to said group every year.

At the end of last school year, you had noticed a small duo, a cute brunette and his best friend, you’d never see one without the other. But recently you had picked up on the near constant flow of bullying directed at the two by a kid named flash.

Truth be told you always were the kind of person to search for the good in someone even if they were being an asshole and it’s not like you thought Flash was the scum of the earth or something like that he just had the sort of personality most people perceived as arrogant, annoying and overall disgusting, their words not yours, although you had to agree. He was by no means an evil person per se he just seemed to lack basic human decency in its entirety.

So when you became aware of the two victims of Flash’s idiocy and their almost unbothered attitude towards him, you decided to get to know them a bit better in hopes of befriending them.

It was Monday where you had an irregular lunch break at a time no one else did, when you saw your opportunity.

“Hey… is this seat taken?”, you smiled down at the completely surprised brunette.

“Uh…yeah… I mean no… I mean you can sit…if you want obviously”, he stuttered out, stumbling over his words and trying his best to keep his voice from completely giving out.

You giggled and sat down:

“Thanks, I was worried I wouldn’t find a good seat anymore, I’m Y/N btw”

“I’m Peter”, a soft blush adorned his cheeks.

Peter looked around in the mostly empty cafeteria and his brows furrowed slightly:

“Uhm, you know there are like a lot of free tables. Not that I want you to leave but… you know?”, he hesitantly brought up.

You looked up at him a smile tugging at the corners of your lips and answered:

“Yeah, but it’s not a good lunch seat when you sit alone isn’t it?”

“…I guess…yeah”

There was a bit of comfortable silence between you before you spoke up again.

“You’re not usually alone here right? I think every time I’ve seen you he was right next to you”, you chuckled

He seemed a bit caught off guard by you breaking the silence but recovered fast.

“Yeah, Ned wasn’t feeling all too well today, so he stayed home and left me alone here.”, Peter said jokingly.

“Oh, tell him I hope he feels better soon then, he seems like a nice dude when he’s not abandoning you.”

Talking about his friend came easier to Peter than small talk and the conversation flowed seamlessly from how Ned had ‘abandoned’ him to what things they got up to recently.

In turn you shared some stories from you and your friends taking the opportunity to invite him and Ned to come along with you to the arcade at the end of the week.

Although hesitant at first, with a bit of convincing he agreed to meet the following Friday.

Your talk with Peter in the cafeteria had not been the last time the two of you had interacted and every conversation with him made you more excited for the next.

Peter really was such a sweet soul and hanging out with him always felt comfortable.

Friday rolled around and you were waiting on your friends and Peter in front of the arcade. It was a common occurrence for them to be late so when a out of breath Peter ran up to you and started to apologize profusely you just smiled and reassured him that he was fine.

You noticed Ned wasn’t with him and when asked about it, Peter explained that he still wasn’t feeling better.

Slowly but surely the rest of the group came by as well and soon enough everyone was present.

The entire afternoon went by in a haze filled with laughter, everyone enjoying themselves and even though Peter was a bit shy at first, he fit right in, and everyone welcomed him with open arms.

Even without really noticing or intending on it, you and Peter stayed close and stole innocent touches here and there along with soft looks.

Unbeknownst to you your friends had noticed the fact that you and Peter seemed joined at the hip and shared smiles about the clear interest both of you displayed for the other.

You felt a tap on your shoulder and were met with one of your closest friends MJ, who led you away from the group.

“Can you two go on a date without us? It’s getting a bit pathetic with the way he’s looking at you.”, she deadpanned, catching you off guard. Your mouth dropped open and blood rushed to your face.

“What?”, a confused chuckle escaped your throat.

“Come on Y/N, you two are clearly interested in each other. Everyone has noticed at this point. So just tell him and get on with it!”

MJ never was the kind of best friend who talked to you about relationships unprompted, you loved to tell her about crushes and troubles simply because of her objective and brutally honest advice and comments, but she never started these types of conversations so this was new.

“MJ, he’s sweet sure but I’ve only known him for a week and yeah of course I like him but calling it a crush would be a bit rushed don’t you think?”, you smiled at her.

“Obviously, but I’m just saying, you two have been smiling at each other so much even I felt giddy” MJ shuddered overdramatically

You laughed and hugged her. “Oh MJ, I love you so so much”

MJ scrunched up her face and awkwardly hugged you back, never having been much of a physical touch kind of person but tolerating it for you.

The two of you returned to the group and the afternoon continued without another hitch although you were more and more aware of the shy smiles shared between you and Peter.

At first the two of you were shy and awkward on dates but once you got more comfortable with eachother you shared inside jokes and and started teasing eaxhother playfully.  

A few months after the arcade meet up which were filled with almost daily texts and constant talking, Peter awkwardly asked:

“ So… are we…are you…I mean, am I your…”

His stressed expression and the more and more panicked waving of his hands had you chuckling slightly once you realized what exactly he was trying to ask of you.

“I think we are and I am and you are. If you want to that is”, you answered with a soft smile, your hand ever so slightly reaching for his.

Relief washed over Peter and you thought to yourself, how bad he was at hiding his true feelings, it felt like you could read him like an open book, like he couldn’t possibly have secrets that you didn’t know about with how open he seemed.

“Thank god!”, Peter exclaimed and engulfed your hand in his, tugging you along to his home for the movie night you had planned.

[ticklepinions]

Everytime I come back here I get a fun lil story!!!!

So! Where to even begin!???

My friend and I were having a sleep over and we are like really physically affectionate, so during our nightly cuddles they were rubbing my back. Next thing I know my back is arching and I let out a screech. So I'm there dumbfounded and my friend is obviously confused but pauses and says "oh did that tickle you?"

Ah! No! (Yes-) what caused me to uh squeal was my friend started "walking" their fingers up and down my spine- when I tell you that shit tickles like crazy-

Anyways!!!! You'd think today was better but NO! There was so. Much. Tickling. Idk what it was but my entire friend group must've been bitten by the tickle bug cause what even was today-

It started with one friend poking me- (while I was minding my own business btw!) and me retaliating. To then me subsequently getting chased (and if you know me you know I PANIK because I cannot stand being chased and I freeze and scream and all that fun stuff). Then getting my arms forcibly raised above my head while ANOTHER friend comes and pokes the living daylights out of my sides, stomach and ribs. All the while the rest of our friend group watched and one even recorded the ordeal- 😀😀😀😀😀😀

I swore my revenge so stay tuned I guess....

Oh!!!! You thought that was it!? HAHAHA. No!

There's more!

All in the same day!! My friends (like 5 of us altogether) are all hanging out and one of them throws their legs over my lap. Another friend comes up to us and starts doing the egg crack thingy to us. Yes it tickles me but not enough to make me really laugh. But my other friend! Oh boy he was already begging! The friend who pinned my arms in the above story suggested we tickle him. And tickle we did. I was in charge of holding a leg and tickling his stomach and sides. Y'all the laughter- the joy- it was just- words can't describe it actually. But imagine 4 of your friends holding you down and like tickling the shit out of you.

Long story short, I did get revenge on one of my friends and I got help pinning him down and just going to town with the tickles. The funniest thing is everyone was relying on me to know his tickle spots (yeah I'm the resident tickle monster please don't shame me 😔). He was acting all stoic and tough and claiming he's not ticklish. And he almost got away with it, I was poking and scribbling his ribs which would normally work but he held it in pretty well. But I knew under his arms/uppermost rib was a good spot. Once I got there- his facade dropped instantly. He genuinely burst out in surprised laughter and started flailing everywhere. We even challenged him to 20 seconds of tickling- which he agreed to!?!? I was trying to tickle his ankles and unprompted he's like "feet are my most ticklish spot". Thank you. You sweet friend o mine for revealing that info. With permission I took his shoe off and started tickling. He scrunched his eyes, turning redder every second but the minute I reached his toes he was cackling again.

And that pretty much was it- my favourite part aside from the tickles was just the consent, trust and mutual respect we all had for each other. Once someone said stop we did. We gave them breaks and time to catch their breaths. We made sure we weren't hurting them or making people uncomfortable by holding them down, like it was just so great to see???? Like wow basic human decency exists?!!! And in MY friend group? Chefs kiss dawg, sloppy style.

[wolven91]

Don't Feed The Bears

When Sarf encountered her colleague, Yous, it wouldn't have been particularly strange or odd. They were assigned as a pair to a back water planet within ursidain territories to observe and catalogue any new infections or illnesses in the trees of the new nature reserves. This had been one of the planets that had been near stripped clean by their forefather's unchecked greed. The objective was to reseed the world as best they could.

However, what Sarf found confusing was the fact her colleague, a respected scientist in his own right, was crawling on his hands and knees in the clearing. This was a new behaviour to say they least. Sure, he was a bit thin around the waist, but she didn't hold that against him as otherwise he had previously been a reliable partner.

The fact that he had walked into the clearing, but had dropped onto all fours to leave it, caused her incredible confusion, and demanded she announce herself and ask what in the oldest clan circles did he think he was doing?

Yous jumped, flinching in position until he sat backwards onto his rear and had the good decency to look a bit sheepish as he kept his head low, but slowly met her gaze. Sarf just sighed and shook her head, she was aware his size made him susceptible to bullying and didn't want to add to it, but the matter had to be addressed.

"I just want to know why you're crawling around through the forest. Are the kitchen crew bullying you again?"

"No, well... they never stopped, but no, this isn't that." The male explained, now avoiding looking at Sarf in the eyes. She watched as the ursidain was constantly scratching at the back of his paw in a nervous tick.

"I've found something out..." He said in a whisper despite their solitude from their own kind on the garden world in the making.

"The young humans..." Yous said.

"The cubs?" Sarf inclined her head, the odd, tiny, thin, and gangly creatures. The pair of botanists had been made aware that a single family unit of humans was hiding on the planet and to avoid them if possible. With just how rare humanity was, the ursidain government, like everyone else, had offered to secret populations of humans away in hidden locations within their territory. An unused infant forestry planet, with minimal to no dangerous fauna remaining did occur to Sarf as a perfect place to raise a cub, human or ursidain now she considered it. Yous continued however.

"They know us, long before meeting one of our kind properly it seems. They have a different name for us though; there's a young one and her family over in the next clearing. Just... let me show you?" He said, trying to convince her that he wasn't mad. Sarf grimaced and waved him forward. He deserved a chance, either he was sick and she would help or he had a point that she wasn't seeing without being shown.

With a roll of her eyes and a half shrug to agree for him to go for it, he rolled back over onto his four stumpy limbs and began to trudge forward, lumbering into the undergrowth. She wouldn't copy him but would hide herself from view. Watching the male lumber forwards reminded her just how close to feral beasts the ursidain people could look. She had barely propped herself up on a tree when a noise called out.

"Fluffles?" asked an unknown, but unmistakable voice of a child.

Sarf tucked herself behind an old tree, it was barely just wide enough to hide the majority of her bulk, except for the half of her face so she could spy on her colleague.

A young cub of a human came padding out from behind a bush, looking around for something... or someone it seemed more likely considering her colleague approaching her. Her dress was light, pink and flowing in the lazy breeze of the forest. She carried in her hand, a small bundle. Sarf didn't want to confidently guess the cub's age, but she suspected possibly five? Maybe six?

Yous spoke, turning the child's head towards him.

"Hello."

Sarf noticed a distinct lack of any translators in the child's ears and doubted they would have subjected her to any implants. To the human, her colleague would be only grunting or rumbling as humans struggled to understand the ursidain language, despite attempting to teach them the nuances. As soon as she caught sight of the ursidain's broad shoulders her face lit up and she bounded over to him, throwing her arms around his neck and mashing her face into his deep brown fur.

Yous, a runt by ursidain standards, completely dwarfed the tiny, delicate looking cub. Her arms didn't meet round the back of his head, despite him lowering himself down to her level. She released her hold, took a step back, and waggled an accusing finger at her colleague.

"You're late!" The young one accused, but all Yous did in return was fall back on his haunches and mumble an apology.

"I got you breakfast!" She continued, unworried about the massive creature as she presented a small bundle to him, and without hesitation or fear of becoming food herself, presented the food to Yous who happily plucked it from her hands in between claws as big as her whole hand and gobbled the food down with little issue.

Sarf became immensely jealous immediately, eyes bulging at what just happened.

Human food was delicious. This was a fact of the stars that sat alongside water being wet and fire; hot. Every ursidain knew this, but to find a human was already obscenely rare, to have a human cook for you?! How could her colleague hide this from her!?

To the little girl's perspective, her 'best friend'; a giant teddy bear she had encountered exploring the areas surrounding her parent's log house, was one of the greatest things she had found in her life. She had no memory of Earth, Bears as they were on Earth of old were no more; she hadn't been taught every extinct animal yet, so her only knowledge of the likeness of the ursidain was of her teddy bear, that still stood guard over her bed as she fed the 'real' teddy bear. To her mind, her teddy bear had merely come to life and was protecting her family just as her stuffed one protected her.

When the second 'teddy bear' appeared out of the undergrowth, the little girl's joy was immeasurable. She immediately exclaimed she'd go get more breakfast and ran off at full pelt, the last pink frill disappearing within moments.

Sarf plonked herself down next to Yous and made no comment as she mimicked him as best she could. She looked him over, ruffled the fur on top of her skull and tried to relax her shoulders. She believed she was aiming for 'dopey', if it was described with a single word. Sarf had spent years ensuring she was taken seriously, losing her slow accent and carrying herself to lessen the natural ponderous gait of ursidains.

All gone at the first hint that she might get to try human food.

"Told y-"

"Shut up."

Tip Jar

[zoe-oneesama]

So what are your thoughts (and salt) on your research re-watch on Queen Wasp?

This episode is annoying because it tries to play both sides - it is very much NOT a redemption arc episode but at the same time tries to make you feel sorry for Chloe after she fucks shit up, which has tricked some into believing this actually WAS part of Chloe's redemption arc.

As @hypexion laid out in a full essay, there never was a Chloe redemption arc because Chloe never thought she did anything wrong and never thought she had to change. In "Queen Wasp", she refuses to return the Miraculous on the grounds "finders keepers, losers weepers", deliberately causes a crisis in order to try and FAIL to save the day just to show off, and when confronted with her deeds only has this to say:

See, I didn't pull Scarlet Lady's complete disregard for human life out of my ass, it was canon all along! 😈

"Who cares"?! "Who CARES"?! Putting aside that "WE" did not save them, Ladybug and Chat Noir saved them from YOU, I'm pretty sure the people's who's LIVES you endangered "cares"!

Thing is, if you just watch this episode and put the entire idea of "redemption" or "hero Chloe" out of your mind, this is 3/4ths of a good episode. Pretty fun, actually, with Chloe just...being Chloe. And getting to hit Chloe in the face with a trash can ❤️.

So what's with all the audience emotional manipulation at the end?

Why is Chat Noir making soft face and using soft voice at Chloe at the end, commiserating that she STOLE a Miraculous (because once she decided not to return it when asked, yes, that's theft at that point), crashed a train, and ran away from the consequences just to ImPrEsS hEr MoThEr? Guess that makes it alright then, right Adrien? 🙃

(If it was just meant to be an Adrien Character Moment, they would've had Ladybug counter him by point out that her motivation doesn't make what she did okay, but instead they have Ladybug ALSO commiserate with Chloe)

As a character beat, I get that Adrien is channeling his daddy issues through Chloe's mommy issues, but I mean for the audience: why are they having Ladybug admit to "making mistakes" and Chat Noir comfort Chloe when SHE MESSED UP THIS BADLY except to manipulate the viewer into feeling sorry for her?! Her mother didn't ASK her to do any of those things, she did them all on her own, so why are the heroes giving her a pass, ie. why are the writers wanting the audience to give Chloe a pass???

No pass! She sucked! And she deserved her classmates ripping on her in "Malediktator", but then the story had the balls to try and make the audience feel bad for Chloe for that too!

Speaking of that, it's really weird that they ended "Queen Wasp" with Ladybug being so soft on Chloe at the end, only for Marinette to turn around at the beginning of "Malediktator" and go back to being really annoyed with her. Especially after she went out of her way to reconcile things between Chloe and Audrey.

Even the way they did it - equating Ladybug accidentally dropping the Miraculous in the middle of the battle and then relying on the Miraculous Cure to return the Miraculous to Fu, (something she'd have no reason to believe shouldn't happen), to Chloe deliberately causing a disaster in order to fail to impress her mom and refusing to return the Miraculous that she Was Not Given? Those are not the same! An honest error that Ladybug fully intended to rectify vs. Chloe disregarding other's safety and the right and wrong of keeping something that never belonged to her are not on equal footing.

Oh and then there's this gem:

Giving back an item that never belonged to you to the rightful owner isn't "exceptional", it's basic human decency. Good Lord Chloe is not "exceptional" for finally adhering to the code of conduct the rest of us learned in Kindergarden.

All this pushing the viewer to feel some type of way and it's all for nothing. Feeling sorry for Chloe just leads Ladybug to giving her another chance in "Malediktator", giving Chloe entitlement to the Bee Miraculous, facing the issues of the enemy knowing her identity in "Miraculer", having to flat out retract Chloe's access to the Bee Miraculous which Chloe responds to with a full on tantrum in "Miracle Queen", leading to Fu giving Guardianship over to Ladybug.

Woooow, real glad we were told over and over again by the narrative to go easy on Chloe, sHe JuSt NeEdS a GoOd InFluEnCe and a SeCoNd ChAnce. That sure ended well for everyone.

Also this is just me being a nitpicky asshole, but if Chloe didn't out herself right in front of everyone (ie. GABRIEL), the Hawkmoth era of the series would've been over. After Style Queen failed, Gabriel had completely given up since his "Masterpiece" failed. If Chloe hadn't revealed herself, Gabriel wouldn't have been inspired to akumatize a Miraculous Holder and might've gone into retirement long enough to return the Miraculous in secret or reveal Emilie to the public in search of other methods before he could've been "inspired" by something else.

The villain defeated by lack of motivation, lmao.

(Also also obviously this could've been doubly avoided by Ladybug not losing the Bee Miraculous or taking the Bee Miraculous out in the first place, but we could've had Anti-Hero Bee Chloe with an actual secret identity paired with a new antagonist to go into a new era of Miraculous, so I would've considered that a win)

MY main gripe with the three Chloe centric episodes "Style Queen", "Queen Wasp", and "Malediktator" is all the pointless, blatant audience manipulation. They went so far out their way to make the audience side with Chloe against Ladybug and feel bad for her only to turn around and call us stupid for doing so. I want my time back and I never even believed in the Redemption Arc. I can't imagine how much worse it was for someone who actually believed what they were selling.

And obviously it was terrible for the thing that brought Chloe and Audrey together is how they're horrible people who torment the working class, but maybe we should've taken that as a sign as to where this was going. Way to immediately resolve Chloe's mommy issues as soon as they were brought up.

Wait...is that why they made the problem in "Malediktator" Chloe's usefulness?

[howlingday]

Switchin' Ain't Easy

Mercury: And that'll do it for the stream today, ladies. Thank you so much for tuning in, and for all the donations, too, of course. And a big, ol' sexy thank you to all my tier three subs. You lovelies make all of this possible. I wouldn't be able to make half the amount of lien I do a week without y'all! See you all tomorrow, and it can't come soon enough~. Good-bye!

Mercury: (Click! Stretches) Mmgh!

Adrian: (Walks in) Hi, Mr. Mercury! How are you?

Mercury: Hey, kiddo! I'm doin' alright. Just finished up a Switch Stream. How are you?

Adrian: Okay, I guess. I was bored and I wanted to see what everyone else was up to.

Mercury: Yeah? And let me guess; you came to see the most awesome dude with bionic legs first because you knew he'd fix your boredom, right?

Adrian: No, you were actually my last choice 'cause everyone else was busy.

Mercury: Ghk!

Adrian: Not in a bad way! I'm just not allowed to hang out with you because then my uncle would get mad at me because he doens't like when I'm around you. When I ask him why, he says he'll tell me when I'm older. Then he walks away calling you something under his breath. He says you're a sloo... A slot... No... Oh! He calls you a "slu-"!

Mercury: HEY! Haha, maybe don't say it so loud! Especially if you're gonna go back to your uncle after seeing me.

Adrian: Huh?

Mercury: Nothing, nothing!

Adrian: Okay! Ooh, that's a really neat computer! Were you playing a video game~?!

Mercury: Yup! Just like I said, I just finished a Switch Stream. Helps pay the bills.

Adrian: But doesn't the government pay you a fair and just wage for all of your hard work protecting the world?

Mercury: ...Kid-

Adrian: I know, I know. I just heard what I said, too. So what does this "switch streaming" do?

Mercury: Well, kid, to make it easy to understand, take all the things that make a person a decent human being, like morals, dignity, respect, decency and everything else that your mommies teach you, then throw all of that in the garbage, sit down in front of a camera or mic, and BAM! You're Switch Streaming, baby~!

Adrian: I don't understand...

Mercury: Well, let me explain it like this then. A Switch Streamer makes a recording of themselves watching or playing or reacting to something or even just talking and then live streams it out for all of their fans and followers to watch and enjoy!

Adrian: Is that really the best way to make lien? It doesn't sound like it makes a lot.

Mercury: Well, the rates vary from the site itself, and Switch makes most of what I've got off of ad revenue, but where the lien REALLY rolls in is from the donations!

Adrian: Donations? Like, people give you lien?

Mercury: Bingo, kiddo! Hit the nail right on the head!

Adrian: But why would they donate to you? Do you make really funny or exciting content, Mr. Mercury?

Mercury: Oh, hell no! It's barely considered content!

Adrian: Huh? Then why-

Mercury: Listen, Adrian, some of us are born with what some people call "devilishly good looks". In other words, I look so good that a lot of people are willing to listen to me and to what I have to say. Because being sexy or attractive where it really matters can REALLY get people reaching for their wallets. Couple ab shots here and a shirtless messy water drink there and all them thots practically drown me in lien~!

Adrian: ...Mr. Mercury, are you a whore?

Mercury: WHAT?! Wh-Where did that come from?!

Adrian: Uncle Jaune and Mommy Saph talked about one of my aunties using her body to get something she wants makes her a whore. And they said it was a bad thing to be.

Mercury: That's... rude. But not untrue, I guess.

Adrian: So is being a Switch Streamer a bad thing?

Mercury: Let me answer your question with my own question. Do you know how much lien I make from a single three-hour stream?

Adrian: I don't know what that has to do with anything. Uncle Jaune says that if you do something bad, nothing will excuse-

Mercury: Over five thousand lien~.

Adrian: Mr. Mercury, can I be a Switch Streamer when I grow up~?

Mercury: You sure can, bud! You can do anything you put your mind to!

Adrian: Yay~! I can't wait to throw away my morals, ethics, and standards to make a large sum of lien from people I've never met~!

Mercury: (Sniffles) It's so fulfilling being a role model for young boys. Glad I was able to show you the joys of being a Switch Streamer, ki-

Jaune: WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST HEAR?!

Mercury: ACK! J-Jaune~!

Adrian: Uncle Jaune~!

Jaune: I came to pick my nephew up when I heard he was with YOU of all people! Now tell me, what exactly did I just hear you teaching my nephew?!

Mercury: Nothing, Jaune, I swear! We were just-

Adrian: It's okay, Uncle Jaune! Mr. Mercury was just teaching me how I can make lien by sacrificing my morals and having no respect for your body~!

Jaune: ...WHAT?!

Mercury: H-Hang on! I know that sounds bad, but-

Adrian: Uh-huh, and he told me how he uses his body to get people to give him a lot of lien! I learned so much from him~!

Mercury: KID! PLEASE STOP!

Jaune: ...

Jaune: (Grips metal bat) I'M TAKING YOUR LEGS AND YOUR LIFE, BLACK!

Mercury: ACK! S-Since when have you had a metal bat?!

Jaune: Since the writer gave it to me!

Mercury: What?!

Jaune: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Mercury: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Adrian: (Watching Jaune beat up Mercury) Huh... Guess you could say Uncle Jaune is really beating Mr. Mercury... BLACK and blue~!

Mercury: OH, BROTHERS, IT HURTS!

[liketwoswansinbalance]

Round III of Excerpts from The One True School Master of Vault 41

Agatha turned to the Rafal. "Interesting,” she nodded. "I'm sure you don't remember the names of all the masses you've murdered, but tell me, whose face do you see in your nightmares?" she prompted expectantly.

“Rh—h-hACK,” said he, the Evil sorcerer.

“What? Come again?” Agatha prodded all too knowingly as she got to her feet.

Rafal seized up and started to convulse silently. Something was obstructing his airways.

Sophie hopped up from her seat. “Aggie! He’s choking, Aggie!” she squawked.

“Oh! Well, do something then! He’s yours to look after!” Agatha crossed her arms and stared Rafal dead in the eye as he suffocated, daring him to try anything.

“B-but, I don’t know how to—" Sophie’s voice died in her throat as she fluttered her hands in distress. She looked at Agatha in askance. "Would you revive or resuscitate..."

Agatha shook her head stubbornly. She was Sophie's savior and no one else's. On occasion, she would save Tedros, but he usually wouldn't let her save him. "If he dies now, there'll be no one to blame and it'll be of natural causes. And, I'll be doing Tedros a favor by sparing him a heart attack. He's been through so much already, I'm not sure his heart could take another shock, like the one in front of us."

Sophie exhaled, ready to blow up, flustered and red. She could barely get words out, and froze in place. Her ribcage throbbed with panic, like she’d swallowed her heart whole.

She turned to Kiko, next, to seek help, but found that Kiko was gone! Sophie hadn’t noticed that the Evergirl, the only one she could expect a scrap of human decency from had fled from the table!

Turning bluer by the second, Rafal stopped clutching his throat.

He stood up abruptly, chair scraping the glass floor as it skidded back with a screech. He motioned with his hands to signal to the girls that they didn’t have to intervene, dismissing them.

Gripping the table, he leaned on it, bent over its edge, and thrust his fists against his diaphragm hard, dislodging what had caught in his throat.

A saliva-coated coin of cucumber shot out of his windpipe and hit Agatha squarely in the eye.

Sophie sagged in relief.

The slice of cucumber slid down Agatha’s cheek leaving a trail of spittle. “Well, that’s settled,” she griped sullenly. She flumped down on her seat cushion again, long, rangy limbs askew. “Too bad you’re alive.”

“Too bad indeed. For you,” Rafal smirked, stretching his tensed jaw so it clicked.

Agatha winced. “After yet another run-in with death, you’re still here. Guess my luck’s run dry for good. Will Lady Fortune ever be on my side?”

“Not if you don’t cease with the complaining,” he taunted, “If only I could stretch you beneath her wheel, but alas… I’m beholden to your dear friend.”

“Enough,” Sophie boomed as she slammed her hands on the glass table. The table shuddered, and the filigree bone china jittered as several serving dishes clinked together.

Agatha and Rafal swiveled to look at her.

“That’s it,” Sophie fumed, “I’ll put up with none of this infantile bickering while I’m present. You two must learn to cooperate. I know you don’t trust him, Agatha, darling, and admittedly, I don’t either, but I think he’s trying, at the very least, to be helpful, so be civil. The same goes for you as well, Rafal. At least try to look contrite. And remember: my say is final.”

All three fell silent for a moment.

"If you actually were wondering,” Rafal told Agatha, "The answer is Rhian. His face has haunted my dreams every night since he died.”

⸻

[Note: A lot comes to pass between these two scenes, so don’t expect them to be perfectly chronological. I just thought the shift could be fun to see.

And, this second section takes place earlier on in the plot by the way. We're nowhere near the climax with these two excerpts.

Also, watch what you think, Agatha. Some dreadful irony will come back to bite you, and everyone to be fair.

Oh, and did anyone catch the Shakespeare reference?]

Good's glass walls beamed back the moonlight like searchlights spilling from the columns. The walls were truly a spectacular sight, the mazes of halls all illuminated in silver.

Yet beauty and brilliant lighting do not the optimum conditions for breaking and entering make.

Every polished facet contained Agatha’s reflection, exposing her in her black robes. And, she was well-aware of this disadvantage, but she would never be able to slip away during the day, so night it was.

She rounded the bend and her spine prickled with the familiar sensation of being watched.

After her run-in with Professor Anemone, she now roamed the halls with much less fear. This time, she encountered a different petrified faculty member. Pollux.

She reached up and knocked lightly at the space between his eyes. Nearly soundlessly, it echoed, muffled by his thick-skulled, furred brow.

Just what she’d thought, he had nothing but a load of fluff in there. Agatha laughed to herself.

The labyrinthine glass breezeways, went winding and overlapping every which way, breathtaking in their complexity, but Agatha had discovered that no matter which corridor she turned into, the swathes of friezes lining the walls would direct her, pointing her in the same direction, hopefully the right direction.

The pearlescent friezes were inlaid with nacre, and they cast ribboned, iridescent rainbows when it was day. Though now, they gleamed a dim silver.

There they were, the figures frozen in motion, a goose girl’s tresses, a farm lad’s cap blown in the wind, trees doubled over, all bowing to the same current.

Certainly, they had been revised, but by whom?

All in one, singular direction they went, one after another in a sundry procession: fairy godmothers’ crystalline wands, soldiers’ spears, kings’ scepters, shamans’ pipes and tapering beards, Seers’ gazes, wizards’ staffs, fair maidens’ dismembered, white fingers, birds’ beaks, mermens’ tridents, agrarians’ pitchforks, crowds’ pennants, jousters’ lances, heraldic banners fluttering aloft, sylphs’ wispy tails, cupids’ arrows, and quixotic princes’ swords.

Agatha could not make heads or tails of these strange alterations to the scenes acting as her guides. They were most probably leading her to her final destination, as if they were conspiring to help her. But her theft would be a far cry from a Good Deed. It breached the Rules.

It was as if the School itself were supporting her theft from it. Or, could it be?

She stopped short.

And a prideful voice projected from somewhere sounded, reverberating through the glass-enclosed tunnel. “Move,” it told her with marked disdain and thinly veiled impatience.

It was coming from the walls, she concluded. Agatha looked about uneasily, thoroughly unsettled, and spun on her heels to face them. The carvings.

She stared intently at the wall closest to her.

A lean, cloaked prince was posed in the midst of slaying a serpentine creature that curled in on itself, swallowing its own tail. It was circular, made of a writhing mass of things.

Agatha shuddered involuntarily as she studied it. The beast’s scales resembled Japeth’s Scims a great deal. All snakes reminded her of Japeth these days. A wyrm, was it? No, it was an ouroboros.

And the prince’s banner, it was a gloomier, storm-cloud grey, silver like the Wish Fish. And it had a swan gracing it, an odd, obsidian piece of glass set into the frieze, looking darker than the rest of the banners. Still, it held gleams of iridescence. It was just duller and darker in finish than the other coats of arms. Almost, just almost, Evil’s banner.

The prince turned to her from his carved position, pointed his sword ahead and glared right at her. His swan crest blinked and seemed to glare down at her as well.

“Move, you imbecile,” said a cold, villainous, not particularly princely voice from the carved figure. “We don't have all night.”

Agatha stared dumbfounded.

"Yes, it's me,” Rafal’s voice seethed. “And I can't hold them frozen forever. So, go.”

Agatha stepped away from the wall, and proceeded down the last few lengths of the hall.

No, impossible. Rafal helping her was impossible, she thought breathlessly. Laughable. She was tempted to scoff, but held herself back since she didn’t want to take this one-time occurrence for granted.

Rafal. Of course. Always had to represent his own side, she supposed. The depraved madcap. Couldn’t masquerade as Good for a day, could he? If he had to be Good, he’d croak. She was sure of it. There wasn’t a single thing in these green Woods he could do to repent, help or no help. Not a thing.

He always had to be so maddeningly obvious about his darker, murderous instincts. His cold voice had been a dead giveaway. Even Sophie was subtler. And Sophie, subtle? No chance of it! He was just worse by comparison, that was all.

All the doom and gloom and the no-nonsense demeanor, it got tiring after a while. Christ, had she been like that before?

Agatha had masqueraded as a witch her whole life and look where it had gotten her. Just once, she wished she could see him beaten down and forced to act a harder role. Imagine, him, dealt a harder role to play. Like hers.

Had he ever been oppressed in his life? He was an oppressor! Well, Evil had been oppressed, but that was his own doing. He’d brought the curse upon himself by slaughtering his own brother!

You could do anything while Evil. But Good came with restrictions. The Nevers were freer, truly. They didn’t chastise bad manners and loud chewing. Well, Rafal seemed to, for Sophie’s sake. But Agatha knew most Nevers wouldn’t care a jot about tea party etiquette.

So long Rafal and thanks for all the help. I hope you wind up dead.

She had the urge to look back, but nevertheless, she turned away from the carved prince as he took up his sword and animatedly resumed fighting his battle with the ouroboros, blade clashing against scales, as if he were fighting his own violent rebirth.

Agatha was certain that this robbery wasn’t exactly the sort of cooperation Sophie had in mind, but it would have to do. It was the most they could muster up. And what did it matter now?

She gripped the crystal knob to Professor Dovey's office and turned it. Locked. Drat!

Then, she heard a clink and something pin-like skidded across the floor. The carved prince’s tiny sword.

She inserted it into the lock, and silently thanked Rafal. Maybe, he wasn’t so corrupt after all.

She tucked the sword into her pocket, and tentatively entered Professor Dovey’s office. She didn’t look back at the frieze, now converted into an ivory scene of bloodshed instead of victory. Nor did she catch sight of the tiny prince being disemboweled by the ouroboros, gutted through the gaps of the plating in his armor, leaking entrails, and succumbing to a theatrical “death” without his tiny sword.

The miniature black swan banner finally tipped and sank with a metallic clank, fluttering up like a flag of surrender before it settled on the ground.

After he was “killed,” Rafal exited the wall. A decent practice session in dying, he thought. Though it wasn't quite right. And being eviscerated wasn't a pleasant way to go, he found. He mentally crossed that method off his list.

The frieze reverted back to a prince frozen in the motion of slaying the ouroboros once again, banner branded with a white swan, as if Rafal had never been there at all.

[anamericangirl]

Honestly, I'm pro-choice to an extent (rape, incest, mother's life at risk, or the fetus is confirmed to not be viable with life and would only suffer being born), but MAN do I hate that I'm in the same group as a lot of the pro-abortion types. I think it's irresponsible and not ok that some women use abortion as birth control. I think we do need certain restrictions and not just 'yeah anyone can abort anytime for any reason' because that leads to dark roads (like eugenics, aborting any disabled fetus).

I see it as killing the fetus, but I'm not sure I'd call it murder, at least not in the cases I mentioned above. But I think abortion is being pushed as a solution so much that people forget there ARE other options. And with the demonization some people give any non-abortion crisis centre (I dislike ones that lie, as rare as that is).

Like idk. I still don't particularly think it's my business, but that doesn't mean I won't judge someone. Or advocate for things to reduce the rates of abortion (like comprehensive sex ed, places to get condoms and b/c for free or cheap, no strings drop offs for unwanted babies, financial support for new parents, etc.). It's a hard issue for me to put a line on it, but I know my line is a lot closer to "no abortions ever" than most pro-choicers. Partly because pro-life blogs (and a pro-life friend) have taught me a lot of shit about the abortion debate and "industry" that I didn't know, no one on 'my' side discussed it. So like, I guess thanks, because I'm more confident in my stance and can actually explain it better.

Well you certainly have more sense than most of the people I call pro-aborts and they do really give the whole movement a bad name.

It's a sad reality that the pro-choice movement, that claims to care about women, just ignores and lies about the ways abortion harms women just to prop up their own narrative.

You're a testament to the fact that their behavior and disregard for human life and decency are working against them and pushing people away from their cause. And you are also a testament to the truth I say all the time that the more educated a person is on abortion the more pro-life they will be.

[darkonekrisrewrite]

Can you list the problems of hero society please

Sure thing 👍

It'll be a long list:

The over reliance on heroes has lead to the civilians becoming uncaring and unwilling to do the bare minimum of effort in human decency. Not even trying to help a child clearly in need (tenko, leading to the second part of shigaraki's villain origin story) and only willing to help deku (a young hero also pretty clearly in need of help) when it benefited them.

2. Quirk (or lack of) Persecution. Toga being a big example in her quirk's function of needing/being compelled to blood, and her parents/hero society personnel treating her terribly, causing her to eventually break and reject them/become a villain in turn.

Aoyama is also an example in a different way, his parents were trying to help him from the suffering (bad treatment by peers most likely) of being quirkless but in doing so made them all AFO's pawns. Plus how deku was treated. And tying in to this example 👇

3. Heteromorph (quirk appearance) discrimination. Spinner, shoji, 'ordinary woman' mutant. Everything about them being the most prevalent examples of hero society being horrible to those who are different.

4. Government assassinations and child soldiers. Lady nagant and hawks, taken in and trained since young children to be killers and spies.

Also the system being willing to send the hero students into literal war zones, TWICE. (Not twice as in Jin, twice as in the pro heroes/government were using the hero students to fight in both wars against the villains.) (Also unless someone who is specifically against these things, calls them out and gets into a position of power, there's nothing stopping these things from happening again in the future.)

5. Heroes who don't have good intentions. Endeavor created Dabi as an unintended consequence of his obsession with surpassing All-might, and many other heroes only signed up for the fame, money and opportunities that being a hero brings, leading to many of them bailing out when things got dark.

It is true that everyone has their own individual reasons, but when your actions can decide the course of all society's future/other people's lives, core motivations should definitely be found out as soon as possible and taken into account.

6. Refusing to acknowledge the incredibly obvious threat of the quirk singularity. The pro heroes and some students were almost immediately able to realize something was up when they saw children with very powerful quirks in the remedial course, recognizing just by looking that the children's quirks were more powerful than their's were at that age. A few inspiring moments and everyone forgot all about it.

I guess nobody looked into Eri's past too? Since her quirk killing her father never came up again.

Not to mention, though uncertain canon, the whole third movie was centered around this doomsday and not a single hero cared, even deku's heroic answer to the villain was just: "You should have tried harder man!!"

Though in fairness, Deku's answer might change with his current character development...hopefully.

7. Other examples are heroes getting so many brand deals, being celebrities and the hero scoreboard stuff.

Not outright corrupt but can definitely cause problems if taken in the wrong ways.

Those are all the flaws I can think of right now, hope this answers your ask.

[transmutationisms]

what is yer take on the tiktok self censorship language thing. is the new generation actually going through large negative linguistic shifts

short answer: no lol

longer answer: language changes all the time around and in response to technology and modes of communication, so it shouldn't be surprising that the particularities of social media / tiktok are causing some linguistic shifts, but this isn't necessarily a cause for cultural panic. this has always been a fascinating claim to me. leaving aside the fact that most of the population doesn't even use tiktok, and the fact that social media is hardly the first time commercial interests have played a hand in linguistic decency standards, there's a particular phenomenon at play here where online spaces and the people in them are often simultaneously positioned as oversexualised and yet sanitised, regressive and yet deviant, and so forth. like how often do we simultaneously see claims like "tiktok censorship of the word sex is sanitising society" alongside fearmongering about how kids on tiktok dress or act or indeed talk about sex? it's fucked that corporations get to control certain public discourses like this but the follow-up claims that we're, like, losing the ability to talk about sex or be sexual are really overblown and play directly into a misplaced nostalgia about the, i guess, notoriously un-repressed sexual society of like, the 1970s. anyway on a very basic level, if people have to say "seggs" instead of "sex" then like yes that sounds silly to me because i'm not used to it but like kind of who cares. human ingenuity has found ways to be profane and sexual for tens of thousands of years, often in direct defiance of the powers of censors. i truly don't think that the like, 30% of internet-accessing adults who use tiktok are going to be the end of us.

[furrbbyx]

A quick little fantasy about meeting an orc who is obviously a bottom. Not exactly a topping tale, but it's a start.

You walked in to grab a coffee at your local, the one that's most popular for the humans and humanoids and cryptids. Like usual you're preoccupied by your horny thoughts and you glance around the shop while waiting for your drink.

Instantly you spot a thick bodied orc, dressed like a slut in too-tight gym shorts, flashy sneakers, and a tank top so ill equipped to handle his massive pecs that it's creased between them and straining to provide any decency.

It's basically full boob and side nipple view at that point.

You walk over to his table swirling your hot cup of chai and brazenly stand directly in his line of site.

The orc raises his eyebrow but you gaze back cooly and say:

'This chai needs more milk' then immediately reach and pinch one of his large pouting blue-green nipples while holding your cup underneath.

Just as you expected a gush of milk sprays into your cup filling it to the brim. The orc grunts as your fingers work his milk filled chest. All that pumping at the gym wasn't for nothin, he's very productive, you think approvingly.

He watches you bring a drop of the fragrant substance to your lips and suck it off your thumb.

You're more than a foot shorter than him and don't have nearly the same physique but he's absolutely panting at the domineering stance you're taking.

You sip from the cup, rolling the enhanced chai over your tongue before swallowing. You're still as cool as a glass dildo, watching your prey.

"You're a big guy. You're not gonna find a satisfying meal in this coffee shop. Why don't you come home with me and let me feed you. Let me guess, your favorite is buttermilk biscuits with mulberry preserves"

He leans back in his chair causing it to creak and hooks his hands behind his head showing off even more chest and thick round tum.

You take a second to admire him with obvious sexual interest, heightening the tension.

Patrons of the coffee shop filter in and out, background noise to your bold perusal.

"hmmm" you muse. "Actually I think you like tart cherry jam and whipped cream on your biscuits."

He grins. You motion towards the door with your head and turn to walk out, knowing he will follow you home, and counting on him to help you make the freshest whipped cream you're ever tasted.