#cause damn the writers were popping off and i could not keep up lol

[simplyashrub]

I'm watching tommyinnit's video on the dream smp and damn, even as someone who wasn't part of the community during the height of it that fucking minecraft server meant something.

Oh it was 100% cringe as all hell, but it was something fun that brought so many people together when we were forced apart, and the genuine passion and creativity of the fandom was (and still is) incredible. Yes the acting wasn't great and the lore could be weird, but it had artists and creators of all sorts willing to pour hours into making it something beautiful.

I never watched the lore streams, just animatics and 2 hour long video essays. But that, along with songs, art, and fanfiction created a tragic, compelling story that got little me through a really rough time in my life.

And as for the creators on the server, they were always at their best when they were just hanging out with their friends doing silly things in the block game. Seeing other peoples joy kept everything feeling a bit more okay considering the circumstances, and I'll always look back on it with nostalgia.

So thank you to everyone who contributed to the dream smp and its fandom. I'll always look back on it fondly.

[kimbapmmbapbap]

More k-dramas y'all should watch

So, at the end of 2017, I created a post going through my favourite dramas of all time. Obviously, I have watched more dramas since then so I have a few more dramas that everyone needs to watch!!

Strong Woman Do Bong Soon

This is an obvious one, so if you haven't watched it, have you been living under a rock?? When I first heard of it just before it came out, I thought it was going to be a rip off of weightlifting fairy Kim bok joo. But boy, was I wrong!! This drama has the perfect amount of romance, comedy, thriller and crime, so it is a good all rounder drama!! The whole cast (not just the leads) had amazing chemistry. The only flaw with this drama is that it does queerbait a little. I wish they either didn't add it in the story or fully went with that the main lead is Bi.

The story surrounds a girl with superhuman strength who wants to be a video game designer. She has always hid her strength due to fear if hurting others and losing her power. She in a unrequited love with her childhood friend who is now a police officer. She then crosses the path of a CEO of a video game company and her starts to become more chaotic. With a serial killer on the loose, Do Bong Soon needs to decide if she will keep a low profile or use her powers for the better good while also falling in love on the way.

While You Were Sleeping

Again, an obvious one, but it has to be watched!! Like strong woman, I was a little apprehensive of this one. Mainly because I hadn't heard good things about Suzy's acting before this came out. But it really surprised me and I really loved it! I'm a sucker for anything crime related, so with a really cute love story as well, it was amazing!! It has really good chemistry and likable characters. The second male lead is also amazing!! I usually don't get second male lead syndrome, but damn I felt it even though I also really loved the main lead. I can't really find any faults with it.

The story surrounds two people who can see the future through dreaming. This includes good and bad things. When the female reporter about dying while on the job, she quite her job to try and changes her fate. A prosecuter move across the street from her, initially they do not get on and their bond starts to grow. Together, they use both of their skills and their power to help change the future and solve crimes along the way. They also soon realise that this is not the first time they have crossed paths.

Psychopath Diary

I cannot recommend this drama enough!! Honestly, it is so underrated!!! Yoon Shi Yoon's performance is incredible, he really embodies the role here. It is so funny, and sweet. You also see a serial killer low key but high key fall in love with the male lead, so there is major gay vibes. The only issue I have with it is, I wish there was a little romance involved. But it is a not a major want.

The story surrounds a pushover who is working at a stocks company. After a major issue arises, he becomes the Scapegoat of the company and is being blamed for it, even though he tried to prevent it. Due to this, he decides that he will end his life. On the way to do this, he witnesses a murder and accidentally picks up the serial killer's diary. While trying to escape, he gets hit by a car and gets amnesia. When he wakes up and reads the diary, he believes that he is the serial killer.

Honestly, please watch this drama, it is so so so funny, the chemistry of the whole cast is incredible. It also possibly has one of my favourite villians in any drama.

Your Honor / Dear Judge

Yes, I am a simp Yoon Shi Yoon. He is just so good and thus role just confirms it! His acting is incredible, king of the double roles! He plays twins and you really tell when either pop up on screen which one he is. This is a really wholesome drama that makes you cry. It has some really sweet moments in it, the leads have such good chemistry. This only issues with this one is that the ending felt rushed. I hate that the TV company changed it from 20 eps to 16 eps.

The story follows a set of twins. Twin A is a top judge in Korea, who is incredibly smart and is living a rich life. Twin B is a criminal who has been screwed over multiple times by the justice system and Twin A. Their mother always sides with A and will tell B not to bother him. When A goes missing, B goes undercover and takes his brothers place. He soon learns about the corrupt world of the court system and his brother. B meets a law student who is meant to be shadowing A. Like B, she has also been affected by the corrupt system and is wanting to be a judge to convict those who have wronged her. Together they fight the system while also falling in love.

Because This is Our First Life

This is a slice of life drama so will have some heavy moments in it. But on the whole, it is just so lovely and cute. The acting is incredible, they really take on the role. It also has one of the best female friendships which is not toxic, they all genuinely care for eachother and want eachother to achieve their dreams. It also has some true badass moments in it as well! I feel like all slice of life dramas have this, but it does have some frustrating moments where the characters are almost purposely making their life's difficult

The story focuses on a woman who is a drama script writer. Due to her patriarchal family who always favour her brother and being let down by her crush, she wants to move out. She ends up moving in with a friend of a friend of a friend. It is to her surprise that the person who she is moving in with is a man who is very much stuck in his own ways and likes to stick to routine. Due to their own desires to be on their own, they decide to get married to relieve the pressure that their families are giving them. This (of course) causes issues and both have to learn about their new feelings for eachother while trying to get through the struggles of life.

Thirty but Seventeen

This drama is the definition of wholesome and cute. I feel that while I was watching it, it went by so quickly and I always had a smile on my face. The romance is so cute and lovely and you could tell they really cared about eachother. The side characters were also amazing and sweet. Honestly, the acting is incredible. The female lead does an amazing job.

The story follows woman who as a child was involved in a bus accident and fell into a coma. She wakes up over ten years later and learns that her family have stopped coming to see her. While on the search for her family, she resides with a man and his brother who are now living in her old family home. The two soon learn that there are more connected than they thought. With the man trying to push her away, the more his feelings grow for her.

Introverted Boss

This is a revenge to love story. It on the whole is a really cute drama where you get to see the leads grow for the better. The acting is incredible and you really fall in love with the leads and the support cast (except for the second lead). It is not a perfect drama, but it is a really easy watch with an interesting story.

The female lead is a stage actress who quits her job to work at a marketing firm. This firm happens to be where her sister used to work. She is out to get revenge against the CEO of the company who she blames for her sister's death. She learns that the CEO is extremely introverted and becomes confused by how he was responsible for her sister's death. As the story goes by, she becomes more intrigued by him and focuses less on revenge and more on helping him open up.

Vincenzo

Ahhhhh, how do express my love for this one!! It is just amazing!! The story was so well thought out and the actors did a fantastic job. It was so satisfying to watch, I wanted to be a member of the mafia lol. The villians were also incredible, like I just love this drama so much. Like Your Honor, the only issue with this one is that the ending felt rushed.

The story surrounds a Korean man who was adopted into an Italian family and became the consiglerie of the mafia. After an issue with his adoptive family, he travels back to Korea in search an insane amount of gold bars which happens to be underneath an unsuspecting block of flats. He then gets involved with a major legal court case with a pharmaceutical company. As he delves deeper into the case, dark secrets start to get revealed.

[mrs-gucci]

A Beach Day to Remember {Clyde Logan x Reader}

author’s notes: made it just under the wire for this week’s writer wednesday :) it’s a bit different from my usual writing MO, but I honestly had a blast with it and I’m decently pleased with how it turned out, actually. I wrote this late at night while I was half-asleep lol so sorry if it’s a little all over the place! thanks, as always, to @autumnleaves1991-blog for hosting & @clydesducktape​ for helping out! it’s such a great and fun weekly tradition!

warnings: fluff. humor. romance. beach fun. chair wrestling. a quick lil makeout session (nothing explicit). 

no tw’s :)

word count: 2.2k

clyde’s taglist peeps! @goddessofsprings​ my general taglist peeps!  @frank-and-honey @shygirl268 @icarusinthesea​  @gildedstarlight​ @mrs-zimmerman @soldmysoulagain @roseepossee @pascalisfairyy​ @I-can’t-draw-faces @ahsoka1 @safarigirlsp​ @babbushka

By some miracle, you’d convinced born-and-raised country boy Clyde Logan to accompany you to Miami Beach for a week. A whole week, you couldn’t believe it. 

And...he actually bought a pair of swim trunks. Sure, they were a West Virginia Walmart buy, but hey, he bought a pair; you’ll take what you can get.

Who was this man and what has he done with Clyde Logan?

He’s never really been to the beach before, Mamma Logan didn’t like bein’ in the sun too long and Pappa wasn’t about to cross her, so this was his first time. 

Your family used to vacation here every year, so you were relatively familiar with the notoriously rowdy town. The first evening and night consisted of you showing a wide-eyed Clyde around Miami’s bustling night life. But, when the sun came up the next morning, he was revving to get down to the beach.

You had to talk him down a bit there at first, convincing him to eat somethin’ for breakfast before spending a whole entire day in the sun ‘cause if he passes out, he’s on his own getting back to the condo.

“I’m gon’ go get changed fer the beach!” He says excitedly, clapping his hands together and doing a little jog over to the dresser the second you two get back from your sidewalk cafe breakfast.

You smile at his enthusiasm, trying to remember the last time you saw him so openly excited and smiley. After only a few moments of thought, you realize that you’ve never seen him quite like this before. But, you’re certainly taking a liking to vacation Clyde.

Both Mellie and Jimmy requested plenty of photos of, and this is a direct quote, “Clyde’s long, pasty-ass legs in swim shorts”, and you’re nothing if not accommodating...

As soon as he steps out of the bathroom, you quickly say “Smile!” and snap a picture of him in his leaf-pattern hunter green trunks. He frowns, striding over to where you’re standing.

“Hey now pumpkin, who’re ya sendin’ that off to?”

You giggle, typing out his sibling’s contacts into your messages. “Nobody...”

His eyes widen when he sees Jimmy and Mellie’s names. He tries to grab the phone away from you, but as he takes it, his palm accidentally nudges the little ‘send’ icon. 

“G’damnit! I fuckin’ sent it to ‘em!”

You’re cracking up as he frantically tries to somehow un-send the message, despite you trying to repeatedly convince him that there’s literally nothing that can be done at this point; the message is permanent.

Almost immediately, the replies begin to pile in and Clyde quickly puts a hand over his face as your phone chimes continuously.

Ding! Ding! Ding!

“‘m never gonna hear the end ‘a this when we get back home.” He groans. “Now they got that picture forever and they’re never gonna stop showin’ it...Oh ma god, they’re gonna put it in our weddin’ slideshow, a-and our future kids ‘re gonna see it, and it’s gonna be shown at ma funeral...”

You laugh, shaking your head as you put your hands on his bare, freckle-painted chest. “Hon, I really wouldn’t worry that much about it. It’ll all blow over in a little bit, I promise. Plus, I now have evidence that you actually came to the beach with me. I have a feeling our future kids won’t believe me when I tell them this story someday.”

Clyde starts laughing, running his hands down the curve of your body before landing on your hips. He pulls you in for a kiss, moving his lips gently against yours.

Your face scrunches when he starts licking into your mouth and the bitter taste of zinc overwhelms your taste buds.

“Mmmm, mmm, Clyde?”

He pulls away, brows furrowed.

“Did you put some zinc on your lips?”

His cheeks turn pink and he looks away bashfully. “Oh, yeah, I did. ‘m sorry, I forgot ‘bout that.”

“It’s alright, no need to apologize.” You chuckle, shaking your head. “I love you.”

He smiles, placing a kiss on your forehead this time, rather than your lips.

“Love ya too, pumpkin.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Clyde’s like a kid at a candy store when he gets down to the beach, quickly putting the cooler down on the sand and dropping his chair down next to it. The sunglasses sit just above the bridge of his zinc-whitened nose as his head moves around to drink in the sights unfolding before him.

You giggle to yourself as you watch him, setting your beach bag down with the cooler before beginning to set up your chair. But your man quickly jumps in and insists on unfolding the chair for you even though, as you’ll soon find out, he has zero idea how to operate a folding beach chair. To be fair, it was one of those older-fashioned ones that had sustained quite a bit of rust.

“Now, how in the world...?” He grumbles, trying to unfold the stubborn thing. He tries just about every method he could think up, at one point he was trying to use his flip-flop equipped foot to aid in the unfolding process, but he still cannot get the damn chair open.

Eventually, a curious (and very entertained) bystander comes over and helps the two of you out with your chairs, and both of you thank them profusely before finally beginning your day at the beach. Clyde remains standing, continuing to look around at all the things happening on the beach while you lay back and open your book to begin reading.

After a bit of sunning time, you and Clyde head down to the water. You keep your feet in the cool water while he stands further in, little waves crashing mid-calf. He finds a nice shell and runs up to put it back at your little setup while you stay and watch as the natural push and pull of the ocean slowly buries your feet in the sand.

Suddenly, a flesh arm comes on your back and a metallic arm scoops behind your knees, lifting you up as you squeal. 

“Clydeeee!”

He laughs, rushing into the water while holding you bridal-style, water splashing up all over both you and him with each of his massive strides. As soon as he knows he’s deep enough, he starts swinging you back and forth.

“One...Two...”

You’re in a fit of laughter, playfully hitting his chest. “Noooooo! Stooopppp!”

“Three!” Clyde tosses you into the blue-green water of the Atlantic as you screech, a big splash accompanying your collision with the surface.

You emerge a moment later, quickly rushing up and jumping into his arms, causing him to fall backwards into the water. He laughs when he resurfaces and splashes you in the face teasingly, to which you respond by doing the exact same thing.

“No more splashin’!” He says, chuckling to himself at the irony of his exclamation.

You laugh, splashing him one more time. “You’re the one that started it, you goof!”

“Now, let’s not play the blame game, pumpkin.” He smiles jokingly, then wraps his arms around your torso, head nuzzling into the crook of your neck.

Both of you spend a bit more time in the water before heading back up to your chairs to dry off in the sun and re-apply sunscreen. Clyde ends up falling asleep, a few shells he found in the water spread out on the top of his thighs as he snoozes.

Only about fifteen minutes later, you look over and put a hand over your mouth to cover the giggles that come when you see that one of the shells has sprouted some legs in preparation for an escape attempt. The creature begins crawling and he starts squirming a bit at the ticklish sensation, clearly beginning to re-awaken from his early afternoon slumber. 

When his eyes blink open and he looks down, he gasps, launching backwards in his chair. Unfortunately, the old-school beach chair already struggles to hold his massive form, so when he jumps back, the chair gives out and breaks clean in half, sending Clyde back into the sand. 

The poor crab is thrust into the sand, but it’s alright, quickly crawling back towards the ocean. You immediately stand up, trying not to laugh too hard until you know he’s completely alright. 

“Oh my fuck...Clyde! Are you okay, hon?”

He nods, chuckling softly. “’m alright, though I can’t say the same for this here chair, though.”

You giggle, helping him sit back up in the sand. When he’s fully sat up, he’s still smiling and laughing, shaking his head.

“Well, I suppose I owe the condo owners a new beach chair.”

--

A full, active day at the beach has you pretty fucking exhausted when you two finally head back up to the condo around four in the afternoon. You take a quick cat nap while Clyde showers, then you hop in and wash off the day’s sunscreen and sand.

While you’re in the shower, Clyde rifles through his duffle and pulls out a little velvet box, popping it open to expose the glittering diamond ring that sits on a little pillow. He smiles at the sight, knowing that tonight’s the night he’s finally gonna ask you to be his forever.

He’s been waiting for the right moment for a short while now, and after the fun y’all had at the beach today and the sunset beach walk he’s planning to take you on before your fancy dinner reservations later this evening...he can’t think of a more perfect time to do it.

You step out of the bathroom and Clyde scrambles to quickly tuck the ring box into his khaki pants pocket. He smooths his hands over the fabric before standing up, face breaking out into a wide smile when he sees the beautiful sundress you’ve got on.

“You’re so beautiful, pumpkin.” He says, smiling as he walks up to you, hands on your hips. “Always so, so beautiful.”

Your expression stretches into a bright, genuine smile as you get up on your tiptoes for a kiss. “Thank you, Clyde. You look awfully handsome yourself this evening.”

“Oh, well, thank ya, darlin’.” His cheeks grow red as he looks down for a moment, shoving his hands down in his pockets. “So, do ya wanna go on a sunset walk ‘fore our reservations?”

You agree, and the two of you head back down to the beach. His fingers fiddle with the little box in his pocket as you walk along the beach. Soon, you reach an old lifeguards stand, painted in brilliant mint green and flamingo pink colors. The ‘No Lifeguard on Duty’ paint is still visible, even after some seeming wear and tear to the outside of the building. 

The sun’s touching down on the horizon line as he guides you up onto the old structure’s small front deck, and you lean over the railing together as the sun sinks down. 

Your head turns to look over at your beloved boyfriend, admiring the way the sherbet sky reflects off of and compliments his alabaster skin. God he’s beautiful, you think to yourself for what has to be the millionth time in your three years of dating Clyde. He’ll forever be the most beautiful man in your eyes.

He turns to you then, standing up with a shaky hand reaching out to take yours. “Uh, Y/N, there’s somethin’...somethin’ I wanna do ‘fore we head off to dinner.”

You nod, eyebrows furrowing.

“Sure, hon. Are you alright, though? You’re shaking a bit.”

“’m alright, pumpkin.”

Clyde nods and then, he sinks down onto one knee, wobbling a bit as he adjusts to the new position. He steadies shortly after and then, he pulls the box out of his pocket and opens it up, exposing the ring he spent hours picking out for you.

You’re in shock, hands over your mouth as he smiles up at you, tears already forming in his eyes.

“Y/N, I-I knew when I first met ya that you were gon’ be the woman I wanted to s...spend the rest of ma life with. Y-Yer so funny ‘n kind ‘n so, so beautiful; yer just...yer perfect, p-pumpkin.”

You feel the tears beginning to spill out of the corners of your eyes as he continues, tears now running down his cheeks as well.

“I love y-ya more than life itself, Y/N, an’ I...I wanna spend the rest of ma livin’ days on this planet by yer side. Will ya...will ya marry me?”

Time seems to stand still for Clyde, then, his nerves overwhelming and overtaking his entire being. The seconds between his final word and your response are some of the longest and most anxious seconds of his life, but damnit, they were well worth it.

“Yes, Clyde, yes. O-Of course I’ll marry you.” You say, smiling as he stands to pull you in for a passionate kiss.

He’s overjoyed, really, heart racing but in the best possible way. You said yes. You’re gonna be his wife, his Mrs. Logan.

“God, I love ya.” Clyde whispers against your lips, pulling the ring from its place on the delicate pillow. “I love ya so, so much, Y/N.”

“I love you t-too, Clyde.” You smile, holding your left hand out for him to slip the ring onto your finger. It’s a perfect fit, and you immediately pull him in for a hug. “I can’t wait to marry you, hon, can’t wait to become Mrs. Logan.”

He grins widely, pressing another few kisses onto your lips.

“Mrs. Y/N Logan, ma beautiful wife, ma forever partner.”

You nod, sniffling softly.

“Your forever partner.”

[hansensgirl]

don’t fence me in.

summary | Your lonesome birthday celebrations are disrupted by two super soldiers on a mission.

warnings | Noncon turned dubcon sex, violence, drinking, breaking and entering, dark themes, smut, praise, choking, knifeplay but not really, threats, vaginal sex, anal sex, double penetration, threesome, oral sex (male receiving), fingering, nipple play, Captain kink, Sergeant kink, authority kink?, manhandling, +18 ONLY.

pairings | Dark!Stucky x reader, Dark!Bucky Barnes x reader, Dark!Steve Rogers x reader.

word count | 3,842 (i went overboard lol)

authors note | happy birthday @threeminutesoflife!! i hope you have a wonderful day, and i hope you have a wonderful day. mina, god damn it where do i start? your dark!neighbour!steve fic was one of the first dark fics i ever read, and it was amazing! you’re an amazing friend and your sense of humour is to die for. you’re one of the most talented writers i’ve ever met and to be honest i always end up re-reading your fics. ilysm, happy birthday!! (this isn’t the best birthday note i’m so sorry, i just woke up!) also i’ll add the keep reading break later!

You sighed as you slipped beneath the strawberry bubbles that resembled fluffy clouds. They engulfed your body and you could barely see your own hands and legs. A giggle escaped past your soft lips and you grabbed the flute of cheap rosé. It wasn’t much, but it was something. After nine long hours of answering phone calls and giving thanks for the birthday wishes, you were finally able to relax. You turned up the melancholic tunes of Ella Fitzgerald and gulped down the rest of your drink. You shut your eyes and hummed along to the tune of Don’t Fence Me In before beginning to sing along to the catchy chorus. “Oh give me land, lots of land under starry skies above-” No, you’re just going insane. Surely you didn’t just hear the loud squeak of your floorboards. You turned down the volume of the music and peaked out the open door of your bathroom. “Hello?” You called out, but the silent void of your apartment didn’t reply.

That was your first mistake.

You shook your paranoia off and filled your glass again, turning the music back up. Your intentions were to stay there until you finished the bottle of rosé, or until your fingers became prune-like. As the next song began to play, you heard another odd sound in the distance. A- A whir? No, no! It’s just the swishing of the water, or- or the music. You decided to keep your music at a low volume. Your breathing became erratic and your heart felt like it was going to jump out of your chest. There wasn’t anyone else with you, right? The slight tremor that your body now carried made the rosé in your glass purl. You still could hear Ella’s voice, and it was eerie. The room felt blue and dull, dispirated and desolate. You couldn’t hear anything else, just your breathing. But you weren’t stupid, you weren’t a coward.

As quiet as you could, you slowly stood up from the bathtub and tried to step out without disturbing the bubble-filled water. You grabbed your phone and pulled a robe on, not even bothering to dry your skin. Your eyes darted around the small room as you tried to find something to defend yourself with. The rosé bottle was a type of plastic that couldn’t harm someone even if you tried your hardest. You opened the cupboards beneath the sink and found a blow dryer. You could inflict a lot of harm with it for sure, but did you really think you could have a chance against not one - but two super soldiers? You tried to pace your breathing and you slowly began to walk out of your small bathroom. You carefully looked around your bedroom and you didn’t know what to do next.

Your teeth were chattering, just like that one time you woke up startled by fire alarms. Your heart felt like it was going to jump out again, and your sweaty palms nearly made the blow dryer in your hands slip out. You wiped your palms on your robe and you gripped the blow dryer even tighter. You opened the door and nearly shed a tear when it made a slight sound. You poked your head out the slight crease and you looked around. That was your second mistake. You walked out of your bedroom and into your living area, not as afraid as before. You whipped your head around repeatedly, feeling as if there was someone else in the room with you.

Goosebumps pebbled on your skin and the hairs on your neck raised on instinct. You opened up the closet and looked around. You even checked your kitchen cabinets just in case. That was your third mistake. You looked at your door and noticed that the lock was completely fine. Not one thing wrong. But still, how could you be so sure? You decided to trust your gut feeling for once. You unlocked your phone and froze up for a bit. What were you going to do? Clearly, the rosé had gone to your head. “Fear and alcohol, what a mix.” You muttered. You shook your head and exhaled deeply, before taping on the phone app.

You began to dial 911 slowly, letting your guard down. “Shh babydoll.” A voice rasped as a cold hand clamped itself on your mouth. You let out a scream, but the sound was muffled by the handle. You dropped your phone and the screen shattered as soon as it hit the ground. Everything soon began to turn a few shades darker, slowly but surely. The voices that spoke sounded as if they were distant, before turning to radio static.

—

“She’s up, Buck.” Steve calls out to the Sergeant. Your vision was blurry for a second, and your head had a slight thrumming to it. What happened? There was a man — no — two men. “Thank god doll, gave us a bit of a scare there,” the brunette coldly spoke, his eyes holding a stoic gaze that was directed at you. Your hands were tied with one of your handkerchiefs that your mother had gifted you a few years back. The knot nearly cut off your circulation, and through all your wriggling you just couldn’t undo it. Your feet were tied as well, immobilizing your legs.

Now how could you really escape?

Panic surged through your body and you began to flail around, screaming out for help. Your distress was muffled by Steve’s coarse hand and your flailing about ceased when Bucky gripped you tightly. They both chided you like a child, as if they wouldn’t have done the same if they were in your position. You took in their appearances. They both looked gruff, beards that covered their jaws and long hair that was a bit dirty. They were in tactical gear, almost as if they were on a mission. Were you the mission? Were they going to kill you? The thought had your chest tightening and you began to heave. Your eyes darted around and tears streamed down your face. Though they were muffled, the sobs shook your body violently.

“Oh no, baby. No no, don’t cry!” Steve taunted, not even bothering to wipe your tears. Bucky let out a breathy chuckle and shook his head, before looking down at your feet. Your tears increased and they soon sighed softly, wiping your tears away. “We’re not going to kill you, so hush.” Steve grumbled, loosening his grip from you. Bucky did the same but you still felt their strong hands lingering. You cowered away from them and they smirked. Bucky pulled the knife out of his thigh holster and you nearly blacked out with fear once again. He began to twirl it between his long finger and he maintained eye contact with you the whole time.

“But, you see, doll, if you try anything that doesn’t sit well with us, Buck and I can easily cut you until you pass out, or die.” He threatened, beginning to undress himself. You watched him instead of watching Bucky twirl his knife. You unconsciously bit your lip, making Bucky smile. As he slowly pulled down his boxers, Steve’s cock bounced up and slapped his lower abdomen, leaving a smudge of pre-cum behind. He had a raging hard on that was red and leaking, and the sight of it made you gulp thickly. “You won’t do anything, baby?” Steve asked, grabbing ahold of where your arms were tied together. You nodded furiously as you were desperate to stay alive at the hands of them.

Bucky knowingly smirked for the second time and he put the knife away before shedding himself of his tactical gear. Their rippling abs and greek god-like bodies made your jaw drop. “Close it, baby, before I shove my cock in there.” Bucky leaned down and untied your legs. He frowned at the angry marks the rope had left on your raw skin. He brought your feet up to his face and he peppered kisses across both of your feet. The feeling of his scruff against your feet was ticklish, causing you to jerk away from him on instinct. He growled and gripped your ankles even tighter, before using his grip to pull you closer to him. You whimpered from his force and nearly flinched away as he applied pressure. You thought that he would’ve popped your ankle right there and then if it weren't for Steve. He sharply ordered the brute soldier to yield, and you wanted to let out a sigh of relief.

Steve untied the robe slowly and you panicked. “S- Stop!” You cried out, making him growl. He ripped the robe off your body and you immediately felt goosebumps form. Your nipples turned into hard peaks and the two men let out moans. You felt humiliated under their predatory looks. Steve’s hands roughly palmed at your breasts, pinching your nubs every now and then. Bucky’s flesh hand crawled up your legs and towards your honey pot. You whined when you felt him rub your clit. His movements were rough yet sweet at the same time. He clearly was different from Steve in certain ways. An unwelcome gush of arousal flowed out of you, making Bucky’s plump lips curl into a sinister smile. It was the type of smile that made you feel both uneasy and titillated. He spread the wetness around and pulled a few whimpers out of you.

Steve latched his mouth on one of your bruised breasts as his fingers continued to twiddle with the other. Steve looked up and you and gleamed as your mouth fell open. Bucky had pushed one thick digit into your drooling hole and his metal hand reached for his cock. The pace he fingered you at was the same as the pace he stroked his cock with. Slow, tender yet rough. Your eyes followed the thick droplets of pre-cum that leaked from the tip of his cock. From there, you noticed the throbbing veins that trailed up and down his cock. Everytime his finger ever so slightly touched it, he cursed. You looked away from Bucky and tried to find something to focus your distant stare on. Steve’s hand left your breast and moved to the side of your head. He wiped the sweat on your forehead and his mouth let go of your nipple with a loud ‘pop’.

He pulled your head closer and closer until the gap between your bodies closed. Bucky’s finger sped up and you found it quite arduous to keep up with the kiss Steve has pulled you into. You whimpered when you felt that all-too familiar pressure beginning to build up. It seared through your abdomen, and the impending of it coursed through your veins. You cried out as you felt yourself cumming. You gripped Steve’s bicep for support and dug your nails into the already scarred skin. Your cum coated Bucky’s finger, the sight of the creamy substance making him moan. He didn’t stop thrusting, though. Instead he sped his thrusts up and began to grind the palm of his hand against your clit.

You couldn’t handle the overstimulation. You turned your head away from Steve and tried to move across the bed. Steve quickly grabbed ahold of you and pulled you back into him. Bucky pushed another thick finger into you and stretched your tight walls. It hurt for a few moments, but the pain soon turned into pleasure. Bucky thrusted his fingers in and out of you at a rough pace, your wetness coating his fingers. “Fuck, such a good fucking girl.” He grunted as he felt your cunt clench around his fingers. “Can’t wait to fill this pussy up, to feel it clench all around my big cock.” Steve groans, grabbing your hands.

He wraps them around his hard, leaking cock. A harsh squeeze to the back of your neck screams at you to start stroking him. You moved your hands up and down slowly, watching in awe. Thick beads of pre-cum leaked from his aching tip, just like Bucky’s cock. The fingers that were buried in your pussy slowed and the fire that had just surrounded you was dying down. You brought your mouth down to his cock and dragged your tongue across the tip.The husky, manly taste of Steve made you even wetter. “Good girl.” He praised as you sucked on the head lightly. The sooner you pleasured him, the faster it would all be over, right?

Steve shoved you further down his cock, making you gag and sputter. The veins on the sides throbbed with want and anticipation. You slacked your jaw as you took him into your mouth slowly. You swallowed thickly as you tried to relax your throat and you struggled to breathe. He bucked his hips up once your nose met his lightly trimmed pubic hair. The virtuous hero began to shallowly fuck your mouth. You hollowed your cheeks out and flattened your tongue against the bottom of his cock. He groaned everytime you gagged or swallowed, and your struggle made Bucky chuckle as well. Bucky pulled his fingers out of your cunt and he brought his fingers up to his mouth.

He sucked your juices off of his digits and moaned at the sweet taste of it as his mouth was filled with ecstasy. Steve abruptly pulled your head off and you struggled to gasp for air. You coughed a few times and tears leaked out of the corners of your eyes. “Such a good girl.” Steve praised you as he wiped the tears and spit from your face. “Now what do you say?” He questioned, making you furrow your eyebrows with confusion. You looked at him, then looked at Bucky. He quickly turned your head back to face him. He raised an eyebrow and sighed before speaking. “You gotta thank me, dollface. Do ya know how many girls fawn over me just for a taste? You’re lucky.” He spat. You whimpered at his tone, hating yourself for how you unhesitatingly opened your mouth to speak and to suck his cock. “T- Thank you, Captain!” You exclaimed, eager to feed his overly large ego.

“Fuck…” He groaned, his cock becoming even harder. “Shit, are you going to be a good girl for your Captain and Sergeant?” He asked, tilting your chin up. “Yes, Captain!” You nodded eagerly. Bucky lifted you up from behind and manhandled you around. You found yourself being sandwiched between the two Avengers. Bucky wrapped his coarse flesh hand around your throat and he squeezed your neck slightly. You grabbed his wrist out of instinct but you didn’t try to pull it away. Steve spread your legs and folded them up to your chest, and you didn’t bother closing them. Your clit throbbed with want and need as Steve ran his fingers up and down your soaking folds. The feeling of cold metal against your abused breasts made you moan. The lewd sound filled the air and the two of them couldn’t wait to have you moaning with their cocks in you. Steve’s fingers grazed over your sopping hole. You jerked away from him when you felt those very same fingers prodding at your tight rim. The hand that was around your neck tightened and you gasped for breath.

“You were being so good for us, dollface. What the fuck?” Bucky growled, pinching one of your nipples. “I- I’m sorry, Sergeant.” You shakily apologized. You watched as Steve’s jaw clenched and unclenched, undoubtedly terrifying you. You swore you saw your life flash before your eyes. They were like ticking bombs; one wrong move and everything can go wrong. Their features softened when they saw how fear etched yours. Bucky loosened his grip slightly as well. “It’s okay baby, you just need to be good for us and it’ll be good for you!” Steve spoke. He pulled his fingers away from your ass and pushed them into your tight cunt. You moaned as he stretched you out, his fingers massaging your walls. Your slick thickly covered his fingers, making him moan at the sight.

“You love my fingers in your sweet little pussy, right? Say it.” He taunted, speeding his movements up. You nodded pathetically and moaned loudly. “Fuck, I love your fingers in my pussy, Captain!” You cried out, feeling your orgasm surge through your body. You clenched around his fingers and your bottom lip gets caught between your teeth. You bite down hard - just as hard as your orgasm had hit you - drawing blood. The metal taste of it isn't what you care for though. It's the ache that grows between your legs as he forces you to ride out your orgasm. “N- No! Stop, please. ‘S too sensitive” you whine out. “But, doll, you’re doing so well for us!” Bucky cooes, wiping the mixture of blood and saliva off of your lips. You let out a string of strangled moans as Steve rubs your lonely clit. “P- Please, Captain! Please, Sergeant!” You begged, the overstimulation becoming too much for you to handle. You couldn't believe how sensitive you were.

Your cunt fluttered as the Captain pulled his fingers out of your cunt. He wastes no time as he slowly pushes his soaking fingers against your tighter hole. You yelped loudly and looked up at the Sergeant with pleading eyes and Bucky nearly came right there and then. The tips of Steve fingers pushed in and you tightened up immediately. “Stop, please! It hurts Captain” you cried out. But your word fell deaf ears. Your exhorts spurred him on as he pulled his fingers out. Bucky released his grip on your throat and rolled you over. You straddled Bucky’s thick thighs and Steve came up from behind you.

“You're being so good, baby. Taking our fingers in that tight little cunt and taking your Captain’s big cock in your mouth… Now you’re going to get your well-deserved award, okay?” Your cunt clenched around air as Bucky praised you. His husky voice sent shivers down your back and a sick part of you wanted more. You wanted to hear him praise you more and more, you wanted to hear both of them praise you. Bucky looked down as he grasped his cock to rub it up and down your abused pussy. The red tip of his cock bumped against your clit before teasing your sensitive hole. He pushed in slowly and you shocked your head violently. It hurt so bad. Your nails clawed into his skin and you struggled to breathe as he bottomed out in your cunt. You felt so full, your arousal leaked down his cock and your entire body ached.

You nearly forget about Steve. His broad hands spread your ass cheeks apart, giving him access to your poor second hole. His cockhead slowly began to push in and you nearly blacked out from the excruciating pain. His cock was still covered with your saliva and it acted as a lube. It wasn't like it did anything. A third set of tears began to stream down your face. Bucky wiped away the tears and dragged his thumb along your bottom lip. “You’re doing so good, baby” he praised, his eyes blown out with lust. A sheen of sweat covered your foreheads, but the sight of Bucky was something that you’d never seen before. “Fuck…” He groaned, feeling your cunt convulse around his cock as Steve continued to push in. You wondered to yourself if he was ever going to bottom out, if they would ever leave, if this would ever end.

You all groaned in unison once Steve’s pelvis met your ass. Steve bent down to suck a trail of marks onto your skin. Bruises of all kinds littered your skin. They pulled their cocks out before slamming themselves back into you. You felt like you were being split in half by their cocks. They fucked into you hard and fast, their thrusted racking your body each time. Bucky’s cock nudged against your g-spot over and over and Steve growled each time you squeezed around them. You fell against Bucky’s chest and felt a growl rip through him. He fucked up into you relentlessly and Steve wrapped his arm around you. You felt him put his hand around your neck and lean down to your ear. He moaned loudly and you felt a new wave of arousal course through you. Steve’s other hand spanks you, the pain of it all pushing you closer to the edge. “Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck… Gonna cum!” You squealed like a schoolgirl, your jaw falling open.

Your eyes shut tightly as you came hard. Your chest heaved and Bucky watched you coat his cock with your cum. Bucky reaches up and grabs your breasts harshly. You clenched around Steve’s cock and he groans. “Shit! Such a good girl, milking your Sergeants cock huh? You love our big fat cocks fucking you, don’t ya?” His Brooklyn drawl is unlike anything you had ever heard, but his words were what had you moaning. They fucked you even harder, wrecking your holes. You babbled like a baby and your orgams began to blend into each other. “So. Fucking. Tight!” Steve shouted out, as each word is punctuated by a sharp thrust. You felt their thrusts growing sloppy, irregular. You moaned pornographically, your eyes rolling back into your skull as you neared your nth orgasm.

Stars fill your already hazy vision and you cream all over Bucky’s thick cock. “Oh fuck!” They both shout out, their balls tightening. Neither of them could hold back at that point. Bucky came inside of you and so did Steve. The warmth of it made you moan out of shame. They painted your walls and filled you up with their cum, before shallowly thrusting. Steve pulled out with no care, making your frown in pain. He watched in awe as his cum leaked out of your gaping hole. It held a slight tinge of pink to it, satisfying the Star-Spangled Man’s sadistic side. He lifted you off of Bucky’s cock and turned you around. You involuntarily wrapped your legs around his built torso and hid your face in the crook of his neck. You felt dirty, ashamed that you enjoyed it so much. Ashamed that they made you cum multiple times, and you didn’t even fight it all. Were you so lonely that you sought to find comfort in the two men that broke into your house and forced themselves onto you?

You felt Bucky’s cum beginning to leak down your thighs. It was so debauched, so scandalous. You felt your eyes grow heavy, tiredness wearing over you. But when you felt Bucky’s cock against your ass, you had a newfound feeling of energy. You tried to escape them, writhing in their strong grips. “Aw, poor baby thought we were finished, hm?” Steve jeered at you. Bucky chuckled in a soft yet harsh baritone.

“The birthday celebrations aren’t even over yet, doll.”

[sammysdewysensitiveeyes]

A few more things that bother me about Simon Lasker.  Not the character himself, but the way the character was written:

1. Can he produce fire or not?  Supposedly he can both produce and manipulate fire, which differentiates him from St. John, but they never really talk about it, and his X-Men costume still features a flame-thrower on his back.

Why?  Why does he have this gear that he supposedly doesn’t need?  It feels like a lazy attempt to just get the look of “Pyro, but he’s an X-Man now.”  It might make sense if he mentioned that he can only produce a limited amount of fire, or that manipulating existing fire is easier than creating it himself (except they keep forgetting to have him use or clean up existing fire in later battles - Storm and Iceman have to put out a wall of fire when Simon is RIGHT THERE and should be the one doing it.)  All of this could still work, but they don’t have any kind of discussion about how Simon’s powers work.

2. Apparently the entire new Brotherhood was mind-controlled or influenced by Mesmero, to varying extents, and the X-Men don’t do a damn thing about it?  They are willing to completely absolve Amara of her crimes with the group (and to be fair, Amara is pretty obviously mind-controlled), but they let the rest of the Brotherhood get taken away by SHIELD.  They don’t make much attempt to reach out to the rest of them, or investigate how much free-will the other Brotherhood members actually had.  It’s mostly just brought up as a partial excuse when Simon wants to join the X-Men, and even then they are initially suspicious and hostile towards him.

3. He burned down a school and it’s never mentioned again:

This scene seems like it should have been much more important, both for the story and Simon’s character development.  I know mutants cause mass destruction every other day in the Marvel universe, but since Civil War started over an elementary school getting blown up, it seems like a mutant burning down a community college and killing who knows how many people would have been major news.  But maybe Mesmero whisked Simon away before the authorities arrived, and no one knew it was him.  This still seems like it should be an important part of Simon’s character development.  How many people were in the school at the time?  How many people did he kill accidentally?  His time in the Brotherhood makes it clear that he has morals and he doesn’t want to actually kill people.  But there’s no follow-up to this story.  I’d expect him to be wracked with guilt, or maybe be keeping it like a shameful secret, afraid that the X-Men will kick him out if he tells them what happened.

I guess it’s possible that the fire happened on a weekend, and there weren’t very many people there, if we want to reduce Simon’s culpability.  I also wouldn’t mind if a later writer wanted to ret-con this and say that it never happened, and Mesmero planted the memory in his mind to make him vulnerable and easier to manipulate.  That would make some sense.

Also, LOL at fake Xavier saying that he “knew” and “helped” original Pyro. 

4. WHY does he look so much like St. John?!

I know Marvel likes their blonde/red-headed fire characters, but Simon also has the same skinny frame and the same facial structure as St. John, with the prominent cheekbones and long, thin nose.  What was the point?  Was it going to be a plot point later on?  Was Simon originally meant to be the unknown bastard son or distant cousin of St. John?  The whole “look-alike” Brotherhood gimmick didn’t really matter, Kitty immediately recognized that it wasn’t the original guys because their voices were different. 

I think the physically similarity of Simon is part of what really sticks in my craw about him.  As if the writer said, “Oh, you want a skinny blonde Pyro to join the X-Men and bang Iceman?  Well, here you go!  Here’s a skinny blonde Pyro to join the X-Men and bang Iceman.  Of course, he ISN’T the original Pyro, he doesn’t have any of the original’s history or interesting personality or back-story, but he LOOKS like Pyro and he’s got fire powers, and that’s all that matters, right?” 

Maybe they just should have let Iceman bang Johnny Storm.  This is what happens when you don’t let Johnny Storm bang Iceman, Marvel!

I’m not actually trying to bash, Simon here, I’m trying to accept and not resent this character that I honestly do resent, both for being a replacement for my fave (St. John), and for getting the kind of storylines that I always wanted for original Pyro.  I mean, I enjoy St. John as a bad guy.  He’s a bastard piece of shit, and I like him just fine that way.  But he’s always been a bad guy that I thought had the potential to maaaaybe shift to the good side, or at least serve on a team with the good guys as a reluctant ally.  (I feel that way about a lot of Brotherhood members, like Blob, Toad, Avalanche and Phantazia - they aren’t necessarily good, but they could maybe go that direction if writers wanted to redeem them).  And he was even moving in that direction before his Legacy Virus death, but then after he got resurrected in Necrosha, he’s still running around being a bad guy, with no follow-up or development, completely wasted as a character, and here’s a shiny new (somewhat bland) Pyro to take his place.  In fact, I’d rather have had St. John die again in Necrosha then to pop up in a few books as a villain-of-the-week.  He showed up in the Iceman series just so that Bobby could call him a loser, and I totally agree, but also ugghh........  I’m just gonna pretend that zombie St. John was corrupted and messed up from Selene’s magic.

Of course, St. John has actually gotten to be part of a team, and gotten some glimmers of redemption in Marauders, even if he hasn’t gotten much in the way of character development.  I feel kinda bad for Simon, who barely got a chance to develop before dropping out of the books.  I’d be down with him getting more storylines if he and St. John can coexist as characters.  If nothing else, I want to see them putting on a show at the Gala trying to one-up each other with fire tricks.  It would be adorable.

Also, I think my new ship of choice is Simon/Romeo (the Inhuman).  They’ve never met, but we may as well pair off two of Bobby’s cast-off, forgotten boyfriends.  Also, when Simon brings Romeo to visit Krakoa, and he talks about how much their new mutant society reminds him of Attilan, it might prompt Bobby to realize how completely strange and screwed up everything is.

[jawritter]

Life Of The Party

Summary: A game of truth or dare gets’s really interesting, when alcohol is involved. 

Pairing: Rob Benedict x Reader

Written for: @spnchristmasbingo​

Square Field: Rob Benedict

Word Count: 1410

Warning: Implications of past as well as future smut, oral (male receiving), alcohol consumption, mentions of being drunk, language. This one is pretty much porn, not sorry. 

A/N: This fic is completely unbeta’d, so all mistakes are mine! This is my first ever Rob x Reader fic, so please be nice lol. Feedback is golden, do not copy my work! I hope you all enjoy this one!

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“Okay Y/N, truth or dare,” Richard asked, staggering into your circle of friends in his living room with an open bottle of Crown, and a bag of popcorn, flopping down with an exaggerated grown next to Jared, who chuckled at the thought of what he was gonna do to Richard when he passed out first as usual.

“Dare, pick dare,” Misha drunkenly whispers yells, elbowing you annoyingly. 

“Okay, okay dare,” you growl, swatting at Misha, who promptly falls off of the cushion he was only half balanced on, causing Jensen to snort out a laugh into his own red solo cup. 

“YAS QUEEN!” Richard yells, slapping his hands together, and giving you a mischievous grin that seriously made you a little uneasy. 

Richard had flown Jensen, Misha, Rob, Jared, Briana, Kim, and yourself to his house as soon as the quarantine was lifted in order to have a friend’s get together/Christmas celebration now that people were safely able to be in the same room with each other again. Richard’s parties were always a promise of two things, a good time you all hoped no one would remember in the morning, and a damn horrible hangover the next day. 

“Okay, okay, you have to go in that room back there where Rob is having a pity party for himself, don’t say shit, just drop down on your knees in front of him, and suck him off,” Richard slurs. 

Misha pops up off the floor like a gopher out of his hole, and Jensen nearly chokes to death on his drink, while the others laugh at their reactions. Briana slaps Jensen hard on the back as he sputters, and Richard keeps locked eyes with your completely shocked face. 

“Can’t I just go flash him or something?” you whisper to the circle in front of you.

Richard shakes his head and crosses his arms over his chest. “Nope, you either go in there and blow him, or you have to tell us what happened between you and Sebastian at Comic Con last year.”

Your ears burned and you knew you were blushing. The whole circle seemed to perk up at that little bit of information. You had told Richard about that little hookup in confidentiality, but apparently, alcohol brings forth loose lips from your extremely drunk friend. 

You weren’t about to throw Sebastian under the bus like that. Plus you don’t know if he wanted it out that he’d fucked Jensen’s PA at Comic Con. 

“Fine, fine,” you grumble, getting off of the floor with a huff. 

“Well, next time I’ma go sulk in a back room over my ex, then maybe I can’t…” Jensen started, but before he could finish Briana elbowed him hard in the side, “Ouch!” 

You chose to ignore his comment and tried to calm your nerves, crossing the floor to the bedroom door. An eerie silence had fallen over the room behind you, and you knew everyone was watching.

“Remember Y/N, not a word, just do it,” Richard said. 

Man, you hopped he didn’t freak out on you. Rob had been friends with you ever since you started working for Jensen as his PA when he took on a new role with the boys, as well as his new production company. It was a big workload, and he needed the backup. It was the best decision you had ever made. It opened up a lot of doors for you that you never thought you would have opened, but it also gave you friends you would cherish for a lifetime. 

Opening the door to the room you see Rob sitting on the edge of the bed with his phone in one hand, and an open bottle of beer in another, taking a deep swig as he turns his head to look at you from where he was gazing out of the window.

“Hey, Y/N/N,” he smiled at you as you closed the door behind you, slipping the lock to prevent them from getting too curious and coming in for proof. 

You cross the floor with your heart pounding against your rib cage, coming to a stop in front of him, and placing your finger to your lips, shushing him as you wink and sink down to your knees in front of him. 

You watched confusion flashed across his face as your hands slipped sensually up his thighs, making their way to his belt, undoing it quickly and lowering his zipper before he had a chance to react. 

“What...What are you? Oh, God.”

Reaching inside his pants you quickly remove his flaccid length stroking it in your hand and blowing lightly across the tip, smirking as his hips jerked in response, and his cock started to swell under your administrations. 

“Oh my God,” he murmured, quickly undoing his button and swatting you away only long enough to shove his pants and boxers down in a hurry. You bit your tongue, desperately wanting to respond with, “I thought you went by Rob now,” but remembering you weren’t allowed to speak.

By the time you took him in your hands again you were pretty impressed at the fact he was already fully erect, and already forming a little bead of precum at his swollen tip. Even more impressive was the sudden need you had to taste him.   

You had always thought Rob was cute, but you had never really seen him that way, not until this point. 

Giving him your best doe-eyed look you slowly run your tongue all the way up the thick vein on the underside of his cock, stopping to tongue at his slit, your own pussy clenching around nothing at the little moans that were already falling from his lips as his eyes closed and his head lulled back; the salty taste of precum invading your taste buds as you hollow out your checks and swallow all of him that you could until you were nose to hilt with him. 

“Holy shit,” he groaned, grabbing your hair and moving it out of your face as you bag to bob up and down his shaft, licking, sucking, and jerking what you couldn’t fit in your mouth as you went. 

You never expected this to turn you on the way it did, but damn. The weight of him on your tongue was downright intoxicating. It didn’t take long for his legs to start shaking, and his breath to come in short, uneven bursts as he got closer and closer to his release, his hips moving along with the pace you had set. 

You could tell he was close, right on the edge, all he needed was a little push to get there, and you had a feeling you knew just how to do it. 

Carefully you slip your left hand under his quickly tightening sack, massaging slowly, pulling more strangled groans from his lips as his legs tightened and jerked, almost there, but still not quite falling over the edge. Taking a deep breath through your nose, you hollow out your cheek and swallow him whole in one goal, gagging slightly around the tip, that was all it took for him to spill into your waiting mouth, and you eagerly sucked down all he had to give until he couldn’t take it anymore. 

Rob sat on the bed, wide-eyed and panting as he slowly got to your feet, carefully wiping your mouth because, well, dammit you were a lady after all, and giving him a wink as you head towards the door. 

“Merry Christmas Rob,” you say as you grab a hold of the doorknob, knowing damn good and well there was a crowd waiting outside the door because you heard them shuffle away at the close sound of your voice. 

“Merry Christmas Y/N,” he replied, voice much higher than normal. 

You exit the room grinning only to find a very disgruntled Jensen standing not far from the doorway. 

You remember his previous comment as you cross your arms in front of you, leaning against the doorway, more than a little riled up from the task you just completed, the alcohol making you braver than what you would have been normally, and after all, it was a party. 

“Truth or dare Jay,” you say with your best devilish smirk, one that he quickly returned, taking a deep swing of the whiskey bottle he was holding before pinning you to the door frame. 

“Dare.”

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[bbrandy2002]

The Getaway

Part Two

A/N: This is obviously a continuation of a birthday fic I wrote for @ao719 that is now 2 weeks late 🙈 I was dealing with stuff, dont judge lol The writers block and doubts were for real yo! But thanks to my Tumblr bestie, who wouldnt let me quit, encouraged me, talked me through this thing and gave me ideas, it finally all came together.

Anitah, I apologize for being so late and the silliness of this fic and if it's terrible. I still hope you had a wonderful birthday and are blessed with so many more 💜

A/N/N: Thanks to @burnsoslow for beta reading and literally a thousand other things.

Warning: A lot of bad language, a miserable Drake Walker and violence involving tasers, fires, animals and car accidents ... No one dies people!

**Drake and Liam belong to Pixelberry, Nikolas belongs to me, the driver and mailroom guy belong to @burnsoslow​ and Liam's secretary belongs to @ao719​

Drake stepped out of the truck in a furor, cursing under his breath, to check on his damages. The front driver tire had fallen into a deep ditch, and it was evident by the thick mud it sunk into that it would be next to impossible to get unstuck without some assistance.

He shook his head, gritted his teeth, and the veins in his neck enlarged and throbbed. As he knelt down to assess the damages further, Nik hopped out of the truck and stood over Drake. With one glance, Nikolas clutched his belly and let out a loud continuous cackle that soon sent a storm of hot blood that seemed to collect in Drake's crimson-colored face.

And the laughter just got louder and louder.

And the laughter didn't stop.

In Drake's head, it sounded like a thousand Niks laughing simultaneously, each one with two horns, a pointy tail, and a pitchfork in hand. 

His anxiety took over.

He stood up, and in an attempt to let some of his anger out, he kicked the tire with an enraged shout that echoed beyond the heavily-forested valley and sent flocks of birds in a frenzy.

The tire's air must have been over-pressurized by the drop's force and popped as soon as Drake's foot made contact. He fell back onto his ass with a heavy thud causing Nikolas to screech out in more laughter. Drake sat up into time to see the front bumper and side panel fall to the ground.

"I think your truck is broken, Uncle Drake," the prince chortled.

Drake's head whipped around and glared at the boy. "No shit! What the fuck are you even doing here? You're supposed to be on a plane to Paris."

Nikolas shrugged. "This sounded more fun." 

"This isn't fun, you little asshole!" Drake jumped up and attempted to lunge at the boy, but slipped in the mud, caught his balance for a split second by grabbing onto a tree limb, then slipped again, before wiping out completely. "Son-of-a-monkey-fucker!"

Drake laid on his back, staring up at a large tree branch that hung overhead, praying to God the damn thing would just fall on him. 

Nikolas walked over to him and looked down on the face of fury. "Is it time for dinner yet? I'm staaaaaaaving!"

"Nikolas," Drake groaned then took a deep breath, his back mud-soaked and achy. "How? How in the hell did you pull this off?"

Nik plopped down on Drake's stomach, causing him to grunt loudly. "Easy. I told my dad you invited me, and he let me go. He was happy you wanted to spend time with me." The Prince smirked.

Drake gritted his teeth. "And he just believed you? Fucking Liam."

Nikolas shook his head. "No. I got Neal in the mailroom to pretend he was you on the phone."

Drake lifted his head and glared. "You mean that grease trap that lives in the ambulance down by the river?"

The young prince nodded. "Yeah. Except he doesn't live by the river anymore. He moved behind the elementary school .. said it had a better view."

There was dead silence for a moment as Drake grimaced at what he just heard before jerking his hips upward. "Get the fuck off me."

Nikolas stumbled to the ground with an uproarious laugh.

Drake reached into his front pocket and pulled out his cell as he rose to his feet. He was dead set on getting someone from the palace to retrieve this little menace to Drake Walker society before he found himself tied up to a cinder block at the bottom of Lake Boogaloo. The issue with his truck could wait.

Liam and Riley would already be on the plane with Bastien in tow, so calling them right now would be useless. He pressed the contact for the palace operator, hoping to be directed to the mailroom; if Neal was part of helping get Nik into this, his shady punk ass could come pick him up in the renovated ambulance that served as his home and part-time blood mobile. 

Pacing back and forth, Drake raised the phone to his ear, waiting impatiently for a ring. 

"Trish! Put me through to the mailroom." 

While he was distracted taking care of that, Nikolas was somewhat disappointed the trip was already over -- he had so many plans for his favorite uncle. With his arms crossed over his chest and a pout on his lips, he leaned up against the truck in a huff. "This sucks!"

The sounds of leaves crunching and brush moving around nearby caught his attention. Nik's eyes widened in fear when the black furry coat of a creature with a white stripe down its middle could be seen scampering around searching for food. The boy gasped and pinched his nose as the animal's foul scent started to become thick in the air and made his eyes water. "Uncle Drake," he called out in a nasally voice, "there's a skunk."

With a scowl, Drake lowered the phone and scrunched up his own nose. He took one glance at the animal, who didn't appear to be a threat, then glanced back at the kid. "It's probably more scared of your evil ass than you are of it. Just keep your mouth shut and don't move." The call with Neal resumed.

"But, Drake ..." Nikolas whined, trying to plead for him to listen but could tell his uncle would have none of it.

Frantic to scare the smelly animal away, the young boy searched the ground for something to throw at it: a large stick, a rock, Drake's Air Bud soundtrack. Those things might scare the skunk off, but they posed a risk of it spraying before doing so. Memories of the smell of Madeleine's office when he had one shipped to her came flooding back. It took a month for the palace to lose that scent. The prank was hilarious until it affected his comfort.

 A devilish smirk took shape as an idea popped into his head. “I need my backpack.”

Nik grabbed the top of the truck bed and stepped up on the rear tire and swung one leg over, then the other. He found his backpack and quickly unzipped it, pulling out night-vision goggles and a rope, then placed them beside his feet. He proceeded to move aside a bottle of industrial-strength super glue and the glass jar holding his tarantula, Barf. Finally, at the bottom of the bag, was the taser he “borrowed” from Bastien’s desk, and he quickly took it out. Holding the electrical gun in front of his face and twisting it around menacingly, he said, “Okay, Mr. Skunk. Get ready for a shocking experience.”

“No!” Drake yelled into the phone at Neal, “You can’t borrow my binoculars. What the fuck are you gonna use those things for at a children’s museum anyway?”

“The … the …” the man scrambled for an answer, “those dinosaurs … yeah … the dinosaurs. They’re, like, really tall, ya know? I want to be able … to, uh … see their faces and stuff.”

“I call bullshit,” Drake bit back, “I won’t be an accomplice in your bone watching … dinosaur or small boy.” He resumed his pacing, wanting to get the conversation moving along. “Now listen, my sister and brother-in-law are in Texas, Lord Beaumont is on a book tour, and the guards are off duty until the royal family returns. You are going to come pick up this kid.”

“Oh! I would love to come pick him up. He’s under 10, correct?”

Drake could practically hear the creepy mirth oozing from the man's gruff voice and spat back, "I'll be with him the whole time, you oily ass, ambulance-driving …  è piccola cagna!"

"What does that mean?"

Drake knitted his brows; he didn't really know, just that Nikolas called him that from time to time, and the word just kind of stuck with him. "Just ... just get here now!"

"Okay, okay! I'm coming."

The call ended. "God, I hope he meant that literally, and I didn't just get that fucko off." He slipped the phone into his pocket and turned to Nik. "Alright, listen up, assh ..." Drake stopped dead in his tracks and stood, stunned, at the first glimpse of a taser-wielding Nikolas with the gun aimed almost directly at him, with a tiny finger wrapped around the trigger.

"Wwwhatcha got there, boy?" Drake's voice sounded calm and friendly. He even managed to fake a genuine-looking smile. Inside, however, he was close to shitting his pants.

Nikolas licked his lips and closed one eye to find the perfect aim. "I'm about to fry that skunk with extreme vengeance. One ..."

"Nikolas, no! Give me the taser." Drake cautiously approached him with his hand held out.

"Two," the small but menacing voice continued the count.

"Nik, don't do it! Give it to me now!"

"Three.”

"Noooo!"

The piercing sound of Drake's shout startled the skunk, and it scurried out from the thick brush.

Nik jumped up with the taser. "Hey! Get back here, asshole." He aimed at the fleeing creature and pressed the trigger.

___________

The instant Drake's mocha-colored eyes fluttered open, an acrid mixture of what smelled like ass, sweat, rotten eggs, and his mother's hairy feet had bubbled up inside his nostrils. The aroma was slightly overshadowed by the 1200-volt prongs that had pierced just below the protruding vein in his neck, causing him to seize up and then drop like a rag doll to the dirt, and muck that littered the ground.

Close by, he could make out the discernible sound of footsteps crunching through foliage and bark and sloshing over wet earth.

Drake's cheek rested against the cold, soggy ground, even as the silhouette of the young prince crouched next to him with his little head tilted sideways and blinking owlishly. He saw the child's lips moving but blocked out the little shit until the feeling of electrocution and muscle spasms had waned.

Drake looked at the small face next to him that resembled his best friend at that age. Liam is a good man, Drake thought; he was a considerate child, too. We had fun together. We always had each other's backs and would do anything to protect the other, no matter the consequences.  Liam wouldn’t hurt a fly. He’s just the best all around.  So …  how in the actual ass fuck did he produce the spawn of Satan? 

Is there any chance he’s ... Neal’s kid? 

Maybe Riley ... No, fuck, no. She wouldn’t.

The sky transformed from a brilliant blue to one streaked with gold and orange hues before Drake shook himself of the aftershocks that sparked through his body. 

The metal prongs left behind two bright red spots, resembling a large spider bite and stinging like hell when he pulled them out.  A thick layer of mud had dried and clung to his back, while a fresh layer adhered to his front. The numbness in his limbs had dissipated somewhat, but the pins-and-needles feeling remained. He was grateful the back spray from the skunk missed him, but the remnants it left on the nearby trees were stifling.

At this point, the only thing Drake wanted was a hot shower, a clean change of clothes, and to get stupidly drunk to the point he would pass out in bed and sleep for days. He scanned the perimeter and could make out the crystal-blue lake through a small clearing in the trees about 100 yards away.

Removing his filthy shirt and tossing it in the back of the truck, he eyed Nikolas, who was surprisingly quiet and subdued. The child was sitting on the lowered tailgate, swinging his legs, and trying to force his tarantula to eat a dead cricket. Drake rolled his eyes but was relieved the kid was staying out of his hair for now. He just needed to take a quick dip in the water, change his clothes, and hurry back in time for their ride home. Nik would be fine by himself for 10 minutes.

Drake let out a sharp tongue whistle that caught Nikolas' attention. "Listen up, kid. I'm going down to the lake real quick to clean up and change into some clean clothes." He opened the driver's side door and reached across the seat to toss his cell phone and wallet in the glove box while he continued, "You and your spider get in here and lock the door until I come back."

Nik dropped Barf in the jar and slapped the holed lid on it. "It's not a spider, Drake. It's a tarantula. A tarantula," he corrected with emphasis as he slid down from the tailgate.

"I don't care if it's your grandma's bladder control protection, get your ass in the truck, and don't move until I get back."

Stepping up in front of Drake, Nikolas sneered at an annoyed Drake towering above him. "I'm telling her you said that. And why can't I go with you? I wanna go to the lake, too," he whined.

Drake nearly doubled over in fake laughter. "There ain't no damn way I'm taking you. For one, you've ruined my entire trip. The one good thing I had in my life to look forward to, and you ruined it! And two, I don't know what the rules are about grownups, and nakedness, and with kids around, and all that shit. So the answer is no." 

Drake could tell by the beady little eyes glaring back at him that Nikolas would not give up on this. He let out a heavy sigh. "Look. Do what I tell you right now, and when I come back, I'll build a campfire, and we can make up some s’mores. How's that sound?"

“Okay.”

“Really?” Drake shook his head in astonishment that he actually won that argument. Without another word, he watched as His Royal Highness happily climbed into the cab of the truck and gave a thumbs up.

Did that taser kill me? I’m dead, right? He did it. Do you smell that, Cordonia? No, not that fucking rank ass skunk. It’s the smell of victory! Drake Walker is a god! I have the power back.

Grabbing his duffle bag from the back, Drake hurriedly made his way toward the lake. He felt a little on edge, leaving Nik by himself for even just ten minutes, maybe even somewhat guilty. But he was caked in mud from head to toe, and the grime was starting to seep and burrow around certain parts of his anatomy. Nothing was worse than having monkey ass.

Within minutes, Nikolas sat on his haunches and looked out the back glass. He hadn’t wanted to show it, but he did feel a little bad for shooting Drake to the point it drew blood. Also for causing him to crash his truck. And even though it was funny as hell to watch, the second slip in the mud was kind of brutal. Perhaps a little remorse was starting to set in as the words of his Uncle Drake telling him that he ruined the one thing he was looking forward to repeated in his head. Tomorrow he would return to normal, but Nik was determined to do something nice for a change for the rest of the evening.

With the quick snap of his little fingers, an idea formed, and it would be the perfect thing to make Drake feel better. Nik unlocked the door, grabbed his spider, and jumped out of the truck. He headed to the back and rummaged through the bags of camping items laid in piles until he found what he was looking for: a lighter and lighter fluid.

“I’ll make the bestest s'mores ever for Uncle Drake. That’ll make him happy.”

Nikolas had never built a campfire before, but he’d seen it done in a movie once, and that was good enough in his mind to practically make him an expert.

Feeling clean and refreshed, Drake dried off from his dip in the lake and put fresh clothes on. Making his way back to the site, he caught a glimpse of thick, black smoke protruding above the trees and the smell of burning rubber that traveled with the approaching evening breeze.

“Nikolas,” he muttered as his heart crashed into his stomach. He raced back as fast as he could, fearing the absolute worst thing had happened to the Prince of Cordonia. “I knew I shouldn’t have left him alone. Liam and Riley are going to kill me, and I would deserve it. I just hope he’s not …” he trailed off when the site came into full view. It was worse than he imagined.

His eyes searched frantically until relief washed over him when he caught his first glimpse of Nikolas sitting under a tree, eating, and seemingly unconcerned by the inferno that had lit up the dusky sky.

Drake rushed over to him and lifted him into his arms and held onto him tightly.  “Are you okay, buddy?”  

Nikolas chuckled, “I’m fine, Uncle Drake.”

He lowered him back on the ground and started patting him down, looking for burns or injuries. 

Drake let out a sigh of relief. “How? How did this …” he turned to look at the fire, then raised his voice. “Wait! You caught my goddamn truck on fire?”

Nik followed his uncle's gaped-mouth stare to the truck engulfed in flames, then screwed up his face. "Yeah ... about that. I think I used too much of that lighter fluid stuff building a campfire. But I made you something." He reached into his jacket pocket, pulled out a s'more, licked the melted chocolate off the side, then proudly held it up to Drake. "The marshmallow is exactly the way you like it, too: completely charred."

Drake dropped his head into his palms and repeated a slew of curse words and sounds that were not even human. As badly as he wanted to destroy everything around him at that moment, to release a fit of anger the likes of which no one had ever seen in him before, it appeared Nikolas had beat him to it: There was nothing left around there to destroy. 

He dropped his arms to his sides in defeat and looked to the heavens before surmising, “This is my punishment, isn’t it? I stole that taser from the guard as a kid and let Liam take the blame for it. I insisted Liam come with me in that boat during a storm, and he nearly drowned when it overturned. He got lost in the woods on my time. I pushed him too hard once during maze tag. I got stuck in that laundry chute all night, and Constantine took hide-and-seek away from him. This …” he motioned to Nikolas, who was smiling back at him with a big cheesy grin, “this is how he got me back for all of it. Well, you win, Liam! You win!  I hope you are having one hell of a time in Paris, schmoozing and laughing your ass off, because I have nothing left in this world but this …  hairy, lint-filled s’more with your son’s saliva all over it …  and it’s not even toasted right!”

“I didn’t make it right?” Nikolas asked thoughtfully. “Hang on. I can make you another one.” He bent down, pulled out a marshmallow from the bag and rammed a mud-covered stick entirely through its center. Drake watched as Nik skipped over and held it next to the flames shooting out the window of his truck.

For several seconds, Drake contemplated whether he should just leave the child there and let nature take its course. Glaring back to the star-filled sky, he groaned, “You owe me big for this.”

Tugging Nik by his jacket hood to pull him away from the hot blaze, he startled the boy who then whipped around with the burning marshmallow and accidentally got it stuck to Drake’s shirt. “The fuck is wrong with you?”

Ten minutes passed, and the two were on the dirt road heading back to the highway’s main stretch. After patting out the fire on his shirt, Drake planned to call the fire department to report the inferno taking place in the woods. He laughed wryly when he realized the phone was still in the glove box of his burning vehicle. And it appeared Neal’s skank ass wasn’t coming after all, so the pair would have to flag down someone and hope they actually stopped. Thankfully, Nikolas had his backpack on, and Drake used the night vision goggles to direct his way along the darkened path.

Hand in hand and approaching the main thoroughfare, Nik’s legs were starting to tire, and his droopy eyes looked up. “Uncle Drake, will you carry me?”

“No.”

“Please.”

“No.”

“Pleeeeeeease,” Nikolas begged in a high-pitched squeal that grated Drake’s teeth.

Drake stopped with a huff and crouched down. “Get the fuck on my back,” he commanded, “you’ve burned and shot the front part of me, so your ass is gonna have to hold onto the back. And I swear to God, Nik, if you so much as drool on me, you can sleep in the woods with the wolves and bears and poodles. Understood?”

With a tired nod, Nik wrapped his little arms around Drake’s neck and held on. As they proceeded ahead, the prince asked, “Would you tell me a bedtime story?”

Drake grunted, “You wanna bedtime story? I’ll tell you a bedtime story. It’s an ol’ Bianca Walker original that she used to tell me every night called ‘Go the fuck to sleep!’ The end.”

Nikolas sleepily chuckled. “I already have that book, Uncle Drake. My dad’s secretary, Charlotte, gave it to me and told me to put it in my room. She said if my mom or dad found it, just to tell them you gave it to me.”

“Of course she did,” Drake scoffed, thinking about the other person who found pure delight in annoying him.

Through the night-vision goggles, the headlights of a random car could be seen driving by, and Drake let out a relieved breath, knowing they were so close.

The night couldn’t end that easily, though. A sudden sense of unease enveloped Drake, telling him that everything was not as it seemed. His steps quickened, and his heart pounded away in his chest.

Feeling like he was being followed, he turned on his heels, then widened his eyes. 

A large brown bear let out a roar that echoed past them.

Drake shrugged his shoulders and muttered, “Yep. That’s about right.”

The survival training he’d learned from his Campers Anonymous group about bear encounters kicked in, and he completely stilled his body. That was until he heard, “BEEEEAAAR!” screamed over his shoulder and felt Nik’s body drop to the ground.

“Don’t move, Nikolas,” Drake ordered through a whisper.

It was too late; he was gone and headed toward the road.

Drake whirled around to see the bear on its hind legs, drumming its chest and licking its lips. “Shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Wait for me, Nik!” He took off running.

--------- 

Alyssa was headed back to Cordonia earlier in the night than she expected. With her hands firmly gripped on the steering wheel, she complained to her friend through the car's Bluetooth, “The guy showed up one hour late to our meeting spot, then drove through a McDonalds, asked if I wanted anything, proceeded to park behind a church and tell me he has condoms before the cops picked him up on a warrant! Worst. Date. Ever.”

Driving around a bend in the road, Alyssa slammed on the brakes when her headlights reflected off a small child darting into the road. As her tires screeched, she let out a deafening scream when a man came out of nowhere, followed immediately by a bear. The frantic man shoved the kid out of the way.

Though  the brake pedal was pressed to the floor, the car collided with Drake, and his body flew onto the hood before falling feebly to the road.

The bear sniffed at Drake and batted him around a couple of times before taking off into the woods.

When Alyssa was sure it was safe to do so, she and a crying Nik both crouched around a moaning Drake.

_________

The following morning, Drake's eyes fluttered open. His vision was a little fuzzy, but he could make out a doctor hovering over him and a worried Liam standing with Nikolas at the foot of his bed. He tried to speak, wanting to know what happened, but was unable to open his mouth.

"Don't try to speak, Mr. Walker. Your jaw was wired shut to protect the small fracture you suffered from the car accident. You also broke both legs and sprained your neck. You have a long recovery ahead of you, but shouldn't need to spend any more time in the hospital. You’re a very lucky man. Now if you’ll excuse me, I will get the discharge papers and check to see if the ambulance transporting you to the palace has arrived. His Majesty has offered to allow you to recover in his home." 

Drake took one look at a gleeful, bouncing Nikolas and shook his head as best as he could with a neck brace on and emphatically mumbled his indiscernible objections.

Liam chuckled, "Quit being so modest, Drake. I assure you it’s no trouble at all. Besides, it's the least I could do after you saved my son's life. And Nik here even offered to let you stay in his room to keep you company."

Nik nodded with a grin. “Yep. For the next eight to 12 weeks, it's just me and my Uncle Drake hanging out all day and night.”

Drake tried to escape from his bed but couldn’t move without use of his legs.

Liam walked around to the side of the bed and put his hand on Drake’s shoulder. “Look at you trying to protest. You never were one to accept charity. I told you, I’m more than happy to help. You deserve this and more.”

A knock at the door diverted their attention and a head popped in. “I’m here to transport Mr. Walker back to the palace, Your Majesty.”

“Perfect! And on such short notice too. So glad my secretary could arrange this ride,” Liam exclaimed. He glanced down at his injured friend in the bed and smiled. “You ready to go home, my friend?”

No! No! That’s fucking, Neal. He doesn’t even have a real ambulance. I’m not going. Somebody, anybody, heeeelp!

[flashfuture]

Follow up questions because I’m a Nerd and I love learning: is there any evidence to suggest frequent inclusion of women in Scandinavian warfare? Or is finding something like women’s armor rare? Was there a standard definition of any queer terminology in any ancient civilization? Did any Norse culture ever find its way to the Middle East???

I feel a bit like an over eager student writing this but uh...I’m very curious. 👀👀

When talking about women in Scandinavia you run into people describing how it appeared these women would take on the role of men in the absence of men. But I think there is an issue in that we’re assuming the role of women in these societies would match the role of an Ancient Greek woman (which is a whole other thing but I digress)

They’ve found that some of the founding fathers of Iceland were women, thirteen of them to be exact. women could inherit land and money from their parents. Women could be involved in legal matters and hold official positions. 

There is lots of evidence that women were very frequently going raiding. They have been debating recently I believe if the term dregnr a young warrior really was only applied to men. Young women were described in the same vulgar terms as dominators and something we discuss in ancient Rome was the ideal of male “hardness” basically just being the top dog in the room. Women were the same in Ancient cultures if not expected to hold themselves differently but Skalds (the poets) describe the women just like the men. 

Another thing quite recently (1993 so really recent in terms of historical archives) is the idea of the surrogate son. Basically, if a man died with no son to inherit a surrogate son would be chosen over a daughter. It has recently been noted that they very well could have been describing the daughter as a surrogate son. Someone to take up that male role of head of the household. This suggests in the sagas we have noted women but there is also a possibility for women to be described with male traditional words because of the role they were playing. 

And we have found tons of armor that looks ceremonially and some battle worn for women yep. All women could fight though it was excepted they could defend themselves and their home front. Against potential attackers and wild animals. 

Plus in the 13th century, the Christians introduced the Law of Gulathing which were sets of rules for people to follow. Women were then banned from cutting their hair like men, dressing like men, or in general behaving like men. This suggests It was common enough for them to throw it in the laws that banned traditional things that Scandinavians did that did not fit the Christian narrative or way of life. 

-- This is gonna go under the cut for the rest cause wow I got long lol. 

Okay queer terminology. You’ll see lesbian which was women who fucks women. and you’ll see penetrator a lot. These were slave cultures also so the idea of sleeping with another citizen was defiling them you shouldn’t do it.

In Ancient Athens, you saw men preferred the company of men over women because they didn’t think women were of value they were only good for producing heirs. There was a thing called pederasty where a wealthy man in his 20s, the erastes, would court a young wealthy man from the ages of 13-19, the eromenos, and teach him and keep him as a lover. Their debate over Achillies and Patroclus for example wasn’t if they were sleeping together but who was fucking who really. Because Patroclus was older but Achillies was the hero so was he being emasculated or were they breaking the age rule? That was their debate cause these things mattered to them 

They were kinda the exception to the citizenship rule. The Spartans felt the pederastry was weird because it involved citizens but they were all in with the homo. Obviously, this was all very public and you’d be scorned if they thought you were being penetrated.  

All in all, being penetrated was something women and slaves did and the last thing you wanted to be was a woman.  

Another thing to consider was these cultures had a lot of problems with excess. So too much sex or food and in Rome you were a uh Cnidus? Idk I can only spell it in Greek which is staggeringly unhelpful but basically, you can’t control your urges. Based off that time someone tried to fuck a statue I think or something like that

The Norse had a similar word ergi which meant you had too much heterosexual sex actually, you were too promiscuous. In the 12th century we know in Iceland homosexual acts like sodomy were banned under Christian canon (Thanks Richard I of England) so there is that. Pre-Christian influence there seemed to be no stigma around this minus don’t force yourself on your friends that’s rude but slaves were fair game. (I wrote a paper on the weird stereotypes of Vikings being the sexual aggressors when the literature of the time suggests the Lotharingians were way way more likely to commit those acts. At least according to French who were besieged constantly by everyone all the time.)

níð was an insult for the ancient norse which basically you had displayed unmanliness. Or you liked to take it up the ass to be plain about it. (Ancient people were vulgar as shit the Romans were obsessed with sexual threats to the point where its just in common day-to-day speech.) Ragr was a term that meant you were unmanly which is much more severe and you could like legally kill someone for saying that up till the 13th century. 

There is actually some debate that the concept of unmanly comes from making fun of the Germans. So like if you were Ancient Germanic or Ancient Brittania you were the savages of the day. Which is interesting when you consider the rhetoric those two countries put out. Like literally no one like the Germans or the Brits they thought they were filthy uncivilized and cowardly people. 

Also fun from the 7th to 10th century in Norse culture there were these figurines called gold foil couples. In it a couple would be portrayed which was a way of proclaiming themselves married before the gods. It was a very religious practice for them. There are figurines depicting people of the same sex in the gold foil figurines. 

Basically, we can thank Christianity for why we think the Vikings didn’t do homosexuality or homosexual acts. Because well they didn’t want them to starting in the 12th century again thanks Richard for having the worst break up with your boyfriend in the history of break ups. 

And onto gender which if you know Loki from Marvel him being genderfluid is based entirely on mythology and is common in Norse writings. Okay so essentially we think of seiðr or magic as something women do. And they did too. But men did practice it. This was seen as a third gender in Norse culture, the seiðmaðr a man who practices magic. Hence Loki moving between the three as he’s a known magic-user. There was also this concept of gender mixing, biological men buried in traditionally female clothing. But there is no way for us to know if that is this third gender or potentially they were more excepting of what we would call transgender. 

Because most of the writings we have come from the 13th century where Christianity really took over and just started making shit up. Like we have evidence they were trying to cover up things about Norse culture they didn’t like. So men who practiced seiðr were actually ergi and not a different gender, just an unmanly male. 

So yeah lol these were acts they did so verbs can be found really easily. But we have mostly Icelandic stuff cause Christians they did fucked up shit 

--

And the Vikings in the Middle East. They went all over. We have this assumption they were raiding whenever they went. Actually, the thing is they only raided northern Europe because they rightfully assumed those guys couldn’t fight back. 

But they had trading agreements easily with the Greeks, Persians, and Abbassids mostly. There is a woman from Sweden who was buried with a ring that was inscribed with “For/To Allah”

The Arabs had the term Rusiyyah to describe the Vikings because they came so often. They noted that the Rusiyyah were not good at practicing hygiene but also describe their bodies as being “in perfect form” They liked a good ripped viking and I can appreciate that. They were like “they’re filthy but damn are those rusiyyah built” 

Baghdad had the first real market place and they had paper from China so they were printing stuff into books which the Vikings found very interesting. There was so much international trade but the British and Germans who we mostly hear from now were so technologically unadvanced there was no way they could have participated with these other older cultures. 

There is money found sometimes that was certainly viking in nature. They didn’t really have money like the Arabs at the time preferring to trade in goods. So they offered furs and silks along with weapons and slaves. 

And it is possible that there was culture exchange as all cultures were being exchanged back then. We know some vikings converted to Islam as Arab writers commented that they missed pork dearly but were committed to the Path of Islam. 

The Slavs or Rus (Russians) of the time were also annoyed with these viking raiders because their shit would get stolen and then sold to Arabia where they’d have to buy it back usually. 

So yeah lots of trading going on. And many Vikings like I mentioned worked as bodyguards or mercenaries. We don’t know much of what the Vikings thought except that the writers in Arab noted they were very polite to their hosts if not aggressive with each other in a playful manner. 

Lol you really let my nerd pop off here. I’d have to do more research into the Norse effect on the Middle East though cause I only know about the other way around off the top of my head here. 

[dotthings]

Okay SPN 15.04, here we go, where I feel weirdly self-conscious about posting a meta post about an ep that had so much meta on itself and now I’m going to write meta about it, so it’s meta on meta on meta, while I’m having my feelings.

THAT COLD OPEN HOLY CRAP DIRECTOR JENSEN. As a director Jensen always pulls out warm performances from actors and he’s a really kinetic director too. That opening fight sequence I held my breath for a lot of it. 

BENNY OH NOES IT’S BENNY (this must be the character Jensen said was one of his favorites and the actor came back to set for one day to do it). “I’ll see you on the other side, brother.” Thanks so MUCH, spn, I thought I was over this and then you come in and reopen that and now I’ve got feelings gdi. Benny was a good friend to Dean. My heart hurts. 

Ohshitohshitohshitohshit demon blood Sam. Noooooo. And he kills Dean. I can never erase these images from my mind, thanks a LOT spn. 

Just a nightmare of Sam’s except no probably not given Sam’s god-wound, so wow this maybe happens on one of Chuck’s other worlds, that’s fine, oh that’s okay I’m fiiiiine, it’s fine. *covers face*

So we have a flip on early S14 here where Dean was turtling to cope with his trauma which is a healthy thing to do but hiding from the world wasn’t going to fix anything so Sam coaxes him out with a hunt. Dean coaxes Sam out with a hunt only I don’t think hunting works for Sam the same way, it’s not Sam’s mental comfort food the way it is for Dean, but still I appreciate the mirroring there.

Sam’s struggling with Rowena’s death and I think those horrific AU nightmare visions aren’t helping much either, but it’s clear he’s feeling the loss. Her loss, all the recent losses.

Dean trolls Sam with real bacon, which seems like Dean is maybe trying to cheer Sam up by pranking him and trying to cheer himself up via food pranks. Dean has quite the case of the munchies in this ep. 

I noticed almost every scene Dean is snacking or drinking from his flask. How’s that whole “Cas walked out and left apparently for good” working out for you Dean, wow, you’re suspiciously chipper while stuffing your face and drinking and Not Talking About It. Did Sam and Dean talk about where’s Cas? Who knows, the ep didn’t mention it, hey SPN you needed a Cas mention, OH WAIT THE EP IS GOING TO CALL ME OUT FOR SAYING THAT.

Seriously though, this is very Dean MO, and I have thoughts about his mood in this ep and how Cas’s absence was felt, and what it means, I’ll get to that later, but even before the last scene Impala talk, I was thinking Cas is a reminder of pain--and no it’s not all about Dean’s anger at Cas, it’s not because Dean is angry at Cas. Cas is a reminder of some things Dean just isn’t coping with very well and part of the problem is Dean cares so much. 

So Dean’s snacking and drinking and Sam is feeling the weight of them knowing all the scary things out there while people go on obliviously with their lives and I’m not sure if Sam is envying them or Sam is feeling some existential angst about the state of the world, how people can go about their lives unaware there are real monsters ready to pounce and tear their lives to shreds. And feeling the weight of the job they do in every bone of his body. Sam’s in a dark headspace.

Ok I admit I was not thrilled to see Becky again given her previous episodes and role. SPN’s later in-canon fan characters were much more nuanced and successful and respectful depictions of fans. But as with many other things, this era of SPN is revisiting some things to move them forward in a different way than before, and subvert some things that needed subverting and Becky has had--wait for it--character development. How about that.

Yes, Becky, run, you do not want anything to do with Chuck. Run, Becky run. I’m rooting for her now. RUNNNN.

Along with finding a more constructive way of channeling her interest in the Winchesters’ lives, and having a satisfying fandom creative life and a full life of her own, Becky has funko pops of Sam, Dean, and Cas. LOL. I see you spn. 

Dean, still with the case of the munchies. So this is like the eating a whole pint of ice-cream after a break-up, only Dean does it with junk food while hunting vampires.

I enjoyed this conversation between Becky and Chuck about writing immensely. Becky is actually right. Speaking myself as someone who’s suffered from writers block for a while, it’s miserable, and not writing just perpetuates the cycle. You feel cut off from an important part of yourself. And--oh here we go getting meta within meta--I find writing meta on SPN a positive outlet. 

“Writing is writing.” Damn Becky’s takedown of Chuck’s derisiveness about fanfic was sizzling and oh excuse me Chuck, what is it you think you were doing with those Supernatural books about your favorite story. Even though he’s the creator, I know. But still. Also seems to be a sly comment on how male-authored “fanfic” based on someone else’s characters or historical characters gets to be professionally published novels and nobody wants to admit it’s fanfic but it is, but women write fanfic and women write novels based on someone else’s characters or historical figures and it gets derided. 

Did not expect commentary celebrating the creativity and validity of fanwork of women in particular an episode of SPN, especially not with Becky of all people, but here we are. 

Uhhhh is Chuck writing this episode, as it happens? I am seriously uneasy now. What is going on. What is real. Which is what I think Dean is going through because of Chuck and OUCH the Winchesters think they’re free but they’re not but also they are their own people and Chuck isn’t controlling them but it’s like he’s still making the framework?? Or would this case just be happening on his own and Perez is just messing with our heads in this script right now.

Oh damn because this ep wasn’t sadness enough now here we go with the Jack parallels. “I can’t control this.” “I’m a monster.” “I killed someone I love.” Parents doing anything to save their out of control teenage kid or does he need to be killed, so the parents are Cas, while Sam and Dean are Dean. 

Interesting that Dean lowered the gun and didn’t kill Jack, but tells Sam they would do that for Jack if it was necessary. You didn’t, though, Dean. You couldn’t go through with it any more than those distressed parents of the vampire teen.

Becky is voicing various non-dire fan complaints here, every lane of the fandom is being gently called out right now. Hahaha including lack of Cas mentions in an ep that pointedly is not!Mentioning Cas because it’s not a mistake there’s actually reasons for that which is just lampshading how much Dean is pointedly Not Going to Talk About Cas. 

“Where they sit around doing laundry and talk” -- again every lane of the fandom should feel very called out right now. Seriously, fandom lanes that hate each other’s guts all have that common factor of craving more domesticity, and would like to see the laundry ep of SPN and for many, it has better include Cas, or we’re working through our need for this via fanfics or fanart. Even Jared and Jensen have expressed interest in a “Winchesters do the laundry” kind of episode. 

But here’s the thing--here’s the thing about SPN...it depicts domesticity. In small bits of pieces. Even in this ep there’s domesticity. SO HA. It’s not that SPN is against depictions of domesticity, it’s definitely in the toolset of its storytelling, to give the characters more layers, to make their lives seem more real, but there needs to be mostly an action plot because that’s the genre so they mostly kill monsters and we only get nibbles of domesticity.

Becky and Chuck arguing about Chuck’s incredibly dark story ending, after Becky criticized him for the story not having enough bite, was so interesting. While the episode’s dark story ending was actually quite well done IMO and not overdone and yes it’s bleak but it’s supposed to be. So it’s not that sad is always terrible writing, no. It isn’t. But its overuse has been a raging hot topic in spn fandom for years and SPN is a hopeful narrative as well as a bleak one. Overuse of loss of hope and misery can hurt the story, causes a number of fans to become desensitized and lose their emotional engagement for it (which has happened to be at a couple of points in SPN’s long run). So that conversation interested me a great deal, yes it did.

So.....SPN had its current biggest of the biggest of ultimate big bads, the ultimate power God himself, the author, and made him the enthusiast for overuse of the misery pr0n like that’s the only smart way to tell a story. The season’s big bad villain is a misery porn enthusiast.

I’m just gonna....sit here and absorb that for a moment.

Oh and this while all the PR for the show keeps warning us about how sad this story is and how bleak the ending will be, not a happy ending show. Are they warning us? Are they trolling us and misdirecting? Because they made their villain a misery pr0n fanboy and this intelligent, self-aware positive depiction of Becky the fan taking him to task for it. 

I feel like could be headed for every story needs its darkness and its light, you need the darkness to appreciate the light, and you need some light or the story is less meaningful. We’ll see.

“I’m a writer,” says Chuck and then takes away everyone Becky loves and then unmakes Becky. This is a purposeful depiction of a writer creator as a sadist. It’s a diabolical reversal on the Stephen King’s Misery scenario. Becky played the deranged fangirl in the past, who kidnaps an object of obsession, now she’s the victim of the deranged sadistic writer who breaks into her home, destroys her life, and then effectively kills her because of his own obsession with making Sam and Dean wretchedly miserable because he thinks that’s the only way to make the story exciting.

*blinks*

In the last scene, oh thanks Sam, for vocalizing the Jack connection. 

Hey Dean, that’s really a nice speech and yes Sam did give you a great pep talk but Sam wasn’t the only one who told you what you did still has meaning. This is like 15.01 where Dean is pointedly erasing Cas again despite Cas very obviously having done something Dean refuses to acknowledge. In 15.01 it was Dean leaving Cas out of his us vs the forces of evil speech to Sam, despite Cas having spent most of the ep shooting ghosts in the face and saving Sam’s life twice. Sam and Cas both have given Dean pep talks about the meaning of what they do but only Sam pulled Dean out of it...uhhh yeah that’s not writer error or canon ignoring Cas. That’s Dean trying to push Cas out of his mind. Something there hurts so much Dean isn’t dealing with it right now.

As I said, as I’ve been saying, it’s not so much that Dean is that angry at Cas. It’s not just about Mary. Or about Cas keeping things from him. Although those are all valid reasons for Dean’s hurt and anger. Dean seems to be afraid or hurt over more than that. And his love for Cas, IMO, is part of why this is weighing so heavily. What does he fear. I think it’s connected to the whole existential crisis about Chuck. What if none of this is real. I’ve talked about that in other posts, if none of this is real, if Dean still doubts, then what if what’s between him and Cas isn’t real, what if Cas doesn’t really care about him because none of it real. 

Dean valiantly puts a brave face on things here, they keep going, they keep fighting for the sake of those they lost, no matter what, “keep putting one foot in front of the other.” Which makes sense. That’s how you honor those you’ve lost. It’s just that I don’t think Dean has really reached that. He is Not Dealing with an awful lot of stuff here. And we have seen again and again how hard Dean reels from losing loved ones.  So what’s going on with Dean here. This is a healthy concept, but not if Dean is just whistling past the graveyard again. This might look like character development except look at what’s been going on with Dean. How deeply losing Mary, losing Jack affected him. The impact of those losses needs to be acknowledged and dealt with in order to truly move on and move forward. It’s like Dean is voicing a healthy outlook but isn’t actually experiencing it. I think Dean is posturing because if he lets all the hurt it right now, it will devour him.

There’s also the part where Sam and Dean have in the past displayed a lack of ability to just keep on keeping on if they lose each other, so they used to sell their souls, or violate the other one’s wishes and autonomy, or let the darkness free, but we’ve also seen them let each other go, and “keep putting one foot in front of the other.” Sam and Dean have done both ways with each other. Dean didn’t exactly just keep on keeping on no problem when Cas died at the end of S12.

Sam voices the other side of things, he can’t just move on right now. He’s feeling all the losses. They’ve piled up and piled up and it’s crushing him. Sam says he "can’t breathe” at times. He brings up Jessica, a loss he suffered 14 years ago. 

So Sam and Dean are airing the two aspects of loss and grief on SPN. One the one hand, you don’t just give up and quit because of loss. Honor who you’ve lost and keep on fighting. But losses are deeply felt, and it’s not all okay either. Sam and Dean don’t just shrug off these losses because they have each other. That’s not how this works. They need more than just each other and SPN is increasingly having more and more open dialogue about all of this.

S15 so far has been so much about the impact losing people they love has on Sam and Dean, and why their isolation isn’t a good thing. 

And there’s Chuck, the big bad, typing away to add more misery. Because Chuck gets off on giving them loved ones and taking them away, over and over and this isn’t presented as a good thing or a satisfying thing or a desirable thing or a celebration of anything. 

[shirtlesssammy]

15x08: Our Father, Who Aren’t In Heaven

Then:

Fighting the good fight since 2010

Now:

At the Lucky Elephant Casino, God’s knocking back fruity drinks, playing slots, and murdering everyone around him. Things don’t look so fun in Chuck-land. 

Meanwhile, Eileen is living her best new life hunting a werewolf. She’s kicking butt but has a temporary setback when Sam shows up. She shoves him out of the way to finish the job. She asks Sam if he’s following her. MAYBE he’s being a little overprotective, but c’mon, he did just bring her back from the dead. I’m guessing he’d like to keep her on the side of the living a little longer than a week or two.

Later at the bunker, they’re eating their respective burger (Eileen) and salad (Sam), and Dean walks in with the demon tablet. He’s hoping the tablet will reveal a weak spot with God. They’re going to need Donatello!

Cas knock’s on Donny’s door. Hmm, I see, divorced husbands still communicating about the case and Cas still doing things for the cause. 

Donatello comes back to the bunker, but isn’t happy about it. He gets to work eating chicken wings and translating the tablet again. Sam, Dean, and Cas casually hang out in the library and sneak concerned looks towards the prophet.

Donny finds some footnotes written by Metatron about God’s secret fear that he only shared with “his favorite.” Lucifer was already locked away by the time the tablets were written. He must mean Michael. The problem with finding Michael is that he’s locked away in the Cage. Donatello starts to freak out over how overly dramatic TFW’s lives are but then passes out in a chair. He comes to --but it’s Chuck this time communicating directly through his prophet. He tells them to leave it alone. Then he threatens all the women in their lives if they don’t (and I just hate/love this because this calls back to early SPN so much when the women died for all their man-pain.)

They tell Donatello to go home. Then they all decide (Cas reluctantly) to go to Hell to find Michael. Dean sarcastically tells Cas that he can “stay here” at the bunker. And I can’t for the life of me find the post now, but whoever made a post of Dean increasingly going from sarcasm to flat out begging for Cas to stay at the bunker is my hero. 

In the bunker’s kitchen, they cast the same spell Rowena used to get Cas and Belphagor to Hell before. Dean cuts his hand as part of the spell (something he’s done a thousand times before) and Cas takes the time to heal him (but doesn’t touch him like he normally does) and it takes so much of him to do it. I’m just going to sit here quietly for a bit before proceeding. 

Once in Hell, Cas leads the way until they run into a bunch of badass lady demons that completely kick their asses. Well, they do until a very familiar voice bellows, “STOP!”

It’s ROWENA!!! 

She’s now Queen of Hell. She’s also posturing up a storm. Ah. They tell her they want to lock up Chuck and they’re looking for Michael. She tells them he could be anywhere. The Cage opened just like the rest of the doors in Hell. She sends her demon minions to find Michael. 

Back at the bunker, Eileen is watching over the spell, and she gets a call from Sue, another hunter. She needs help with a vamp nest. Eileen agrees to help as soon as she’s done helping TFW. 

In Hell, TFW meets with Rowena in her throne room. She tells Sam that killing her was a good thing. She’s queen! Then she asks him to get her another drink (!) so she can have a little therapy time with the other two clowns. She tells them to “fix it” because there’s no reconciliation in death. A demon comes in to inform them that Michael “is nowhere to be found.”

For Perfect Framing Science:

Actually, he can be found at Jaci’s Red Wagon diner. It seems that Adam and Michael are good buds and Adam’s currently enjoying his first burger in ten years. 

Dean checks in with Donatello just one more leeeetle time to see if he’s gotten any Chuck-adjacent flashes. Just when you think you’re out, yadda yadda yadda… He THEN checks in with Sam about Eileen. She is FINE, Dean, they have “an agreement.” Dean picks up on Sam’s waffling, and tells Sam that she fits the parameters of a potential partner: she knows the life, plus she’s hot. That’s way better than the life Sam tried to build with Amelia, a bag of limes, and a dog. This conversation is also notable for Dean’s admission that he’d been in a very dark place not long ago but he’s climbing out of it now.

At the diner, Adam continues to chill with Michael and contemplate the future when Lilith arrives. 

She’s there to bring Michael to Chuck. “I’m not accustomed to being fetched,” Michael says coldly. It looks like things are headed towards fisticuffs when Michael just…burns her to ash right there. Ah, archangels. (Side note: I rewatched this section with the sound off while gathering images and watching her performance is every bit as engaging. I’ll miss you, scrunchy-nose Lilith.)

Donatello has a vision and sees Michael’s spiteful smiting (smiteful?). He calls Dean with Michael’s location. He’s in Cairo! Time for Dean to hop on a plane and hold Cas’s hand nervously the entire time… I’m ready for an airplane destiel fic episode!

Cas has an alternate, non-hand-holding suggestion. He’ll pray to Michael instead. In the quiet of an upstairs corner of the bunker, next to a REAL and also METAPHORICAL CHESS SET, Cas characterizes their last meeting as “unpleasant” and asks to meet up. “I’m not your enemy anymore. Now we all have the same enemy. God himself.”

Mmmkay, compelling words. Michael meets Cas in a warehouse. He remembers Cas. “You called me assbutt and set me on fire.” LOL, classic. Cas faces Michael stoically and lights a circle of holy oil around him. That’s the Winchester’s cue to enter and they do so with STYLE.

DAMN!

Dean presents a set of warded cuffs for Michael’s consideration. There’s clearly only one way out of the circle of fire.

For Check out the Curtains Made of Chains SO PRETTY Science:

Michael is twenty-five shades of pissed off at being confined. In the bunker he accuses the Winchesters of abandoning their brother and then shocks them all by flashing Adam back in control. 

Adam seems much more chill than Michael and reveals that he and the archangel only had each other in the cage so they came to an agreement. Dean, who only recently stopped dragging himself around in a post-Michael traumatic haze, is gobsmacked that Michael’s letting Adam walk and talk. He tells Adam that there’s nothing they can say to fix what they did by leaving him in the cage. “How about ‘I’m sorry?’” Adam suggests.

Michael wrests back control and we go back to Chuck talk. Team Free Will attempts to briefly explain that Chuck isn’t trying to usher in “boring” paradise. Instead, Michael’s dad would rather see everybody suffer, including Michael.

Adam pops back behind the helm and advises them to stop their paltry attempt at convincing Michael of Chuck’s perfidy. On his (their) own, Adam unpacks the situation. He doesn’t forgive the Winchesters for what they did, but he does think they’re operating from good intentions. I don’t remember where I saw this online, but somebody posted that they have never liked Adam more than in this episode. I completely agree! There’s a lovely amount of complexity and growth hinted at through this performance.

Michael finds it hard to shake off a near-eternity of being God’s favored son. God is “having a mid-eternity crisis,” Adam suggests. Maybe Michael should at least entertain the possibility that Chuck isn’t on the up-and-up. Michael doesn’t want to doubt his father. “You still care about that after he left you in the cage?” Adam asks.

Meanwhile, Eileen’s friend Sue calls again. She’s ready to move on the vamps and needs backup NOW. When Eileen hesitates, Sue needles her about having to ask for permission. Eileen rises to Sue’s barb and agrees to meet up. The camera tumbles, Sue swears, and Eileen acts immediately as the call ends. She races to Sam’s room and fills him in on her friend’s perilous situation. Together, they run off to give Sue backup. (I love how this scene both shows Eileen’s need to assert her own independence and her absolute trust and pragmatism in getting Sam to back her up.) 

Cas heads in to speak with Adam/Michael. Michael is still not on board the fight-Chuck train. Cas responds with sass, as is his custom. “I never liked you. I thought you were too haughty. Too…to paraphrase a friend, you had an entire oak tree shoved up your ass.” 

Now Cas finds him pitiable. Michael isn’t God’s favorite. He’s just a tiny part of Chuck’s favorite soap opera. DAMN, Cas. 

Cas goes even further, telling Michael that Lucifer was the smart one all along, and Michael SNAPS. He flips Cas over the table and gets him in a headlock. Cas struggles, and manages to lock both his hands on Michael’s temples. It’s brain zapping time! Even an archangel is no match for Cas’s mind mojo, and Cas dumps a clip show of Chuck being a dick writer into Michael’s head. 

Later, Cas decompresses alone in the kitchen. Dean arrives, then suggests that Cas might have misjudged the situation and gone too far with Michael. D E A N. Before Cas left, Michael essentially said, “Leave. Get out. I want you dead.” We’ve all been in agony for several days now over the parallels between this line and what Cas thinks he’s getting from Dean and AAAAUGH THE SWEET PAIN OF IT. “We didn’t bond,” Cas summarizes. If you need me, I’ll be hunched in this burning dumpster, muttering about profound bonds. 

The bunker rattles, and they race to Michael’s room. He greets them with, “God lied to me.” He gave everything for Chuck, but it turns out he’s not even unique across the multiverse if there are other Michaels out there. 

Sam and Eileen arrive at the hunt and discover abandoned vehicles. Sam’s suspicion bone is tingling, but then Sue shows up. She’s got this swagger, so Boris and I immediately assume she’s been turned into a vamp because we’ve been watching this show since forever. Uh, Sue’s not a vamp. She’s Chuck! Or…you know, Chuck’s her! [Admiral Ackbar voice] It’s a trap!

Michael agrees to help Team Free Will. He pulls out a slip of paper with a spell on it that can contain Chuck just like it contained Amara. All they need is myrrh, cassia, rock-rose, and the nectar of a leviathan blossom. It’s a flower that grows in Purgatory. Michael opens up a rift-style door with the snap of his fingers.

The door will stay open for twelve hours. Dean uncuffs Michael/Adam and apologizes for what happened to his half brother. Adam smiles sadly and wishes them luck in their Chuck-fighting endeavors. After he/they leave, Cas and Dean turn towards the glowing rift. It’s Purgatory time, baby! And you know what they say about Purgatory. It’s the perfect place to work out your emotions in a friendly, non-deadly environment!

Quotingmoon in Purgatory:

There’s a crack in his invincibility shield

When I go crazy again, just shoot me

Usually I enjoy our little process. I toss something at you guys and you slam it right back. It’s fun! Like tennis! With monsters

What am I picking up from you two? A wee tif? Tell your Auntie Rowena

Why would he send you, a demon, a speck of infernal bile?

Oh, I didn’t come to beg

Since when do we get what we deserve?

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive! 

[glowstickia]

Writer’s Review

Twas tagged by @potatocrab 

Tagging: @allislaughter, @kineticallyanywhere, @saintdeanthomas, @achamocha, @thestarjar, @agirlnameded, AND THE PERSON READING THIS! IF YOU WANNA DO DIS I’VE TAGGED THEE

Rules: Post two snippets of your writing. The first should be one of the oldest examples of your work that you can find (the older the better!), and the other has to be an excerpt from something more recent. Compare the two side by side to see the difference between what your writing looks like now and how it did then.

God...so technically I know where I stashed my old af spiral bound notebook covered in cat stickers that I wrote in when I was 9 years old. That was 17 years ago. I am not getting that out of the basement and typing that up. SO. Gonna pull from my AO3 and the oldest stuff on there is from like 2014, so like 6ish years ago because the oooold stuff (when I was 13 and then decided to turn it into og stuff lol) on my FF.net account is like...gone >_> oops.

I’m using my old Danny Phantom fic - Sleep Paralysis (and I learned not long after uh, writing it, that I was a dumbass and gave myself anxiety for writing a character going through sleep paralysis) and uh my Fallout 4 fic - On Top of Sanctuary Hills and Far Away cause tbh I’m really damn proud of that fic yo ;w;

-Sleep Paralysis-

Sleep, an experience Danny hardly had time for anymore with school to keep up with and ghosts constantly wreaking havoc on town, sleep became a luxury. When he did sleep, he wouldn’t dream. If he did, he didn’t remember them. It didn’t matter to him, as long as he got sleep, he didn’t care. Being in ghost mode did help take the edge off the fatigue, but he had to be careful for if he used up too much energy he didn’t have, his human half paid for it.

Standing in front of the mirror, Danny stared at his weary eyes and poked at the purple bruising outlining his lower lids. The past couple weeks had been brutal on him. Not only did he barely pass an exam, but ghosts were not letting him catch a break. Technus fried his computer (again) and screwed up the town’s technology so much it took a week before any electronics returned to their normal function. Skulker was once again going grocery shopping for Vlad. Danny stopped a couple of the robberies only to turn around and take the blame. The Box Ghost was up to his usual antics and discovered the static wonders of packing peanuts. Every so often Danny would find the Styrofoam clinging to him in the weirdest places. He made the mental note to never phase through them again.

Tonight was one of those rare nights where even the ghost animals weren’t out wandering for a midnight snack. His homework, which if not attended to, would pile up and add to his worries, once again, a rare night where late assignments weren’t breathing down his neck. He wasn’t sure how exactly he got it all done, but he wasn’t going to complain. His bed was calling to him and his body was yearning for the sweet sensation of relaxation sleep brought.

Sliding into bed, Danny pulled the sheets to his armpits. Sighing in relief, he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

-On Top Of Sanctuary Hills and Far Away Ch2:  An Echo, A Promise - 

Dogmeat’s tail thumped against the ground as he sat in front of a skeleton dressed in faded green, baked by the sun, and left for nature to consume. Empty eye sockets stared at the sky, watching the cloud gently roll above. Dogmeat’s tongue lolled out as his front paw waved at the air, beckoning her to come closer.

“Military,” she whispered, as she slowly walked closer and sat down on her haunches next to Dogmeat. The bones were covered in roots and vegetation from years of exposure. The tattered remains of the military green army uniform blended in with its surroundings. On the sun baked skull sat a dusty green helmet with exposed roots trying to pull it into the earth. Now satisfied, Dogmeat barked and ran off to join Codsworth on the trail, giving her space.

“Is uh-is everything all right?” Codsworth called out.

“Yes, uh, I’ll be a moment.” Echo hollered back, “Just...found something.”

“Oh! Splendid!”

She chewed her lower lip as she stared deep into the skeleton’s hollowed eyes. “Bombs got to ya, huh?” She guessed as her fingernails bit into her palms. “Dogmeat thinks your helmet may be, uh, useful.” She popped her lips and adjusted her sunglasses. “Considering how the past few days have been...could definitely use something to protect my head...so uh…” she sighed loudly, “I’m going to take your helmet now. Okay? You won’t be forgotten. Not by me. I’ll be reminded every time I touch it, whether I want to or not. So-“ she inched her hands closer, already hearing sirens and shouting  in her head as her fingers gently brushed the vegetation off the helmet.

“-do you copy? I repeat, do you copy?”

“I copy, soldier.” She muttered, as she slipped the helmet off with care.

“They’re falling out of the sky-”

“I know.” She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, smelling the earth, and fire and ash and ozone . “The war is over,” she said, keeping her voice firm, “You can rest. I repeat. The war is over.”

She opened her eyes to blue skies and a skeleton staring back at her. She nodded to him. “Rest easy.”

[vidadaily]

Vida 3x02 Cast Live Tweets (3 /4)

Cara: Ahh! Mari w/o blue lipstick!!! Chelsea, you are slaying this ep. Chelsea: Mari can’t go out there without her armor, her blue lipstick Ser: No, Mari, do you, put on them blue lips, blue lips! Mishel: yup! be you Mari Tonatiuh: True BLUE Mari!

Tanya: THOSE are the condolence flowers Lyn shows up with? That's the best she can do? smh Mishel: slim pickings at the corner store

Chelsea: Stands and delivered looks like a success Tonatiuh: I want to go to it for real right now Ser: One of my favorite movies in Stand and Deliver- thanks writers! bravo Ser: Go Dj Greg! 🚨🚨🚨 Ser: Yes, ChulitaVINYL in the house!! Technically in Vida! Ser: Damn, I miss these pop ups more than I knew😭 Cara: We filmed this scene til 2am. And it was the night of the World Series.. game whatever. And the crane above me was playing the whole thing Tanya: A bit of Trivia: Half of our background extras left by 4am... they just pooped out so I made my support staff do background WITH ME. That's me back there on some shots trying to take up space.

Tonatiuh: If I have to hear my partners ex call her "monshooshoo" I would punch them Ser: Dyke drama alert! Ser: Zoe’s eyes are unreal! Esti: Right?!?! Cara really made that shit pop off. I stan for Zoe! Cara: Aww yay, 1 Zoe fan. She’s not that bad.. maybe just misunderstood. Mishel: She's been up for days waiting for Nico to show up Cara: And when she didn’t show.. she took this s*%# into her own hands. Mishel: Dang, why's life so messy sometimes. Tonatiuh: Wait... how many times has Nico had other partners... "her little dalliances" Tanya: Nico is so shady shady! Roberta How COULD you?! Ser: You just had to, Zoe... just HAD to... Cara: Tanya made me do it. Tanya: Listen, why should she not out her wife? Just saying... Chelsea: Wait what? Married!?!?! 😱😱😱 Mishel: cue heartbreak.... Emma tried Tanya: That's a lesson for her: Never try again. Tonatiuh: No! Keep your heart open. Try communicating! Adrian: Nico! Married?!😱 oh noooo is the ice queen gonna make a comeback?!! Vida: Are you still Team Nico after this? Cara: I’m team Zoe. Just saying... Chelsea: Cara, you killed this episode emotional and deadly. You killed Emico so I kinda hate you but still love you! Cara: I kinda love/hate Zoe too. It’s a thin line. Cara: Wow! Such an incredible cast and amazing writing lead by Tanya ... being on VIDA even if Zoe was causing trouble was a dream. Tanya: You were marvelous as Zoe! I loved working with you, sister! Cara: Ughh that means more to me than you know. It was a dream job... and it’s not over yet.. more Zoe next week.

Chelsea: Wow Emma is actually handling that well Chelsea: Okay spoke too soon, she’s seeing ghost lol Tanya: Woah, was that Vida on VIDA ???? Ser: La Raza Unida... JAMÁS SERÁ VENCIDA! .... except Emma she looks defeated. Tonatiuh: it's okay to feel Emma!

Ser: Now they’re orphans, like Emma and me😂😂😂ay, Lynn! Tonatiuh: I love Doña Lupe! Tanya: Everyone needs a good bruja in their lives. Vida: Doña Lupe has the dirt on everyone. Chelsea: Doña Lupe with all the information... good and bad Ser: Doña Lupe can’t lie! Adrian: Everyone needs a Doña Lupe in their lives! Vida: Is Emma right, or should she try to make up for lost time? Chelsea: Emma right he didn’t look for them, or did he??? Tonatiuh: Seriously, their dad is a grown ass man..

Vida: Emma let her guard down only to feel betrayed😔 Ser: Is Nico bullshit tho?? Esti: Disagree! She is only technically married... and they've been dating for one weekend. Ser: Haha is it one weekend? Dang Vida time is stretched ooouuttt Esti: They hooked up for one weekend. Ser: Damn... what day is it? I thought the quarantine got me fucked up with time, pero no, es Vida.😝 Ser: Love is ‘a moment of weakness’ for Emma... 👀 Mishel: oof... or maybe just maybe... it's strength? Ser: Love is the higher frequency 💓 Chelsea: Ice queen Emma is back. She’s a savage, can turn it off just like that. Mishel: She's got to tho. It's how she's survived this long. Chelsea: Very true but also sad Mishel: *sigh* yeah.. so much pain :( Tonatiuh: Heaux try you. Have to put them in their place

[jess-rewatches-prodigalson]

Episode 17: Stranger Beside You

SPOILERS and thoughts ahead.

0:13 - How freaking creepy is this? She just pops up from the floor. Did Malcolm not see her there as he was approaching? Why didn’t he acknowledge her presence as he approached? ALSO - he’s excited about muffins? Does that mean muffins are one of the only foods he eats? I find this surprising. ALSO - last episode we learned that Malcolm can’t cook…why does he have a muffin tin? I know this is a dream but still.

0:45 - Ok. Story time. I watched this episode when it premiered. It was the first week I had moved home from university since the whole COVID-19 stuff. My younger brother (20) and my mom (45) who have never seen this show decided to watch it with me. Ugh. Our family dynamic is generally a lot of sarcasm and teasing. I’m the only one in the family interested in crime shows/whump. When Malcolm said “This is when the scary thing usually happens.” both of my family members started cackling like buffoons. For the next week my brother quoted that line to me. They both now tease me for loving this show so much…so that happened.

1:18 - This is kind of sweet. I don’t like Eve but I like seeing Malcolm this happy.

1:56 - This is such a good sibling conversation. Ainsley is setting Malcolm straight. I know Malcolm is right but honestly - Ainsley has a point. Malcolm has a tendency to accidentally sabotage his own relationships because he can’t trust people and he doesn’t believe that he’s worthy of love.

3:15 - Look at this. Just. Look. JT is happy to see Malcolm. They’re bantering like brothers. This relationship has blossomed and I’m so happy…also I google “sip and see” because I really wanted them to be fake. They sound ridiculous, but they’re real. IDK. I don’t have kids but it seems crazy to organize a big fancy party right after you give birth. Invite friends and family over - sure. Order a pizza and a cake. But hang out in something comfy and keep it casual. Maybe that’s just me. IDK.

3:42 - Malcolm’s projecting again. “Perfect can be an allusion.” Honestly. Is he even aware that he does this?! Also, is he projecting about his childhood or his relationship with Eve. Either way, I’m concerned for him….though I do like how happy he’s looking right now.

3:47 - hahaha OMG. “With the stiff!” Gil is so done.

4:30 - I thought this was interesting. 1) Do dead bodies actually do that? Compress? Huh. Cool. 2) I like the way that Edrisa and Malcolm are so totally absorbed in how cool/weird the cause of death was that neither of them notice Edrisa’s hand on Malcolm’s chest. 3) Gil pointing out Edrisa’s hand makes things a little awkward - but honestly I see it as a gentle warning. He knows that Edrisa is socially awkward. She’s not in trouble and he’s not mad. He’s just reminding her that stuff like that isn’t appropriate.

5:04 - Watching this after realizing that Tally is pregnant brings a whole new weight to all of JT’s comments. Every time he mentions babies, baby swag, moms - he looks either scared, stressed (because money), or excited. It’s freaking precious.

6:15 - “It’s a cloud of love. Nothing to be ashamed of.” Again. More proof that Malcolm is an A+ adult male. Who speaks like that?

7:05 - Do I need to be scared about Dani now too? I do not like the way that Martin says her name. Wait. Is Martin going to go after every person that takes Malcolm’s time away from visiting him? I can totally see it. Martin escaping - killing Gil for replacing him as Malcolm’s Dad. Killing Jessica for trying to keep Malcolm from him. Killing JT, Dani, and Edrisa for being his friends. Can’t decide if he’d kill Ainsley…

7:41 - HOW is this show so dark and yet so funny?!?!

8:20 - I know that Malcolm knows that Tally is pregnant…but after the pizza roll comment there’s no way Gil and Dani don’t suspect. Look at their faces!!! And the way JT looks down way too quickly. He’s clearly hiding something.

8:55 - Look at Gil’s face. He’s concerned and a little scared. I am too. What the hell does Malcolm mean by “Mom’s love me”?!?! Is this some weird sex thing?

9:05 - Dani is a queen. We stan. She is the friend Malcolm deserves. I especially love the fact that later we find out that she told JT about this conversation. As though she thought Malcolm needed “guy advice”.

10:00 - Yo. People like this shouldn’t be allowed to have children. Kids are not a fashion statement - they are human beings who need to be nurtured and loved.

11:10 - So, I don’t usually like it when Ainsley snoops around for a story and gets all determined - but this time I do.

12:00 -  Does Ainsley really not understand that what she did was a total invasion of privacy?!? She doesn’t look sorry. At all. The fact that Ainsley actually talks to Eve about it is kind of awful too? Like it’s one thing to do a background check on someone - it’s another thing to talk to them, unprovoked, about what you found. 

12:12 - Poor Jessica. She looks upset. Between her two “socially bizarre” children ( lol ) she really has a hard time making friends. Although…..I will admit. It’s a little weird that Jessica is making friends with a woman young enough to date her son. 

 12:32 - Soooo this means that Malcolm has an instagram account (at least a fake one for work anyways). I feel like Malcolm is one of the people who don’t have a personal instagram account. Because a) he has like 3 friends and b) he doesn’t strike me as the type of person to take pictures of food, people, events, or himself. 

 12:40 - So Malcolm’s sitting at that desk again…..forget about the gitb… I want to solve the desk mystery (and the mystery of JT’s name). 

12:57 - Damn it JT! We were about to get a super awesome father/son moment. Ugh. When I said I wanted the writers to give JT more screen time I didn’t mean this. 

13:13 - Aww…look at how proud Dani is of herself. Girl made a cool discovery and she’s proud/excited about it. <3 

13:22 - ARE YOU KIDDING ME. We finally get a good look at the desk from the front. No name plate in view?!? UGH. This is killing me. 

13:33 - hahaha look at these faces! JT looks confused/freaked out that Malcolm knows so much about babies feeding habits. Dani looks so annoyed that she’s been put on Malcolm babysitting duty again. I don’t blame her. Gil is always making her babysit Malcolm. JT never has to take a turn. 

 13:55 - The most annoying thing about this episode is that we never find out how Alessa cut her arm. It’s a weird place on your arm to get a cut and I’m curious about it. 

 14:35 - I respect Malcolm a LOT in this scene. He’s asking some tough (but necessary) questions. He’s calm, kind, and respectful. He’s not minimizing Alessa’s stress, her loss, or her devotion to her daughter.

16:30 - Soooo if Christine’s (ex) husband lives in Canada - does that mean he’s Canadian (or dual citizen)? Or does he just have a work permit? I’m curious about what that means for Christine’s citizen status. I find this odd though - even if Christine isn’t Canadian - if she was last seen in Canada and her husband reported her missing - the RCMP would’ve been looking for her. They NYPD would know that. Although - she is using a fake name. Huh. There’s a reason I’m not in law enforcement. People are too crafty. I’ll stick to math. 

 17:55 - Look how mad JT looks that Christine tried to abduct Nina….he’s going to be such an overprotective, good dad. <3 

18:25 - This is a really cool moment. This scene is the first since 1x9 when JT and Malcolm have a heart-to-heart. JT also gives Malcolm some really good relationship advice. Damn. No wonder JT’s been married for 7 years. He gets it. 

 18:55 - I love how manic Malcolm looks and how concerned JT looks when Malcolm goes off on his little rant about being a suspicious person. I wonder if JT is wondering why Malcolm trusts Gil, Dani, Edrisa, and himself? They are, by all means, good things in Malcolm’s life. Is he suspicious of them? 

19:25 - Does Martin know about Malcolm’s sensitive stomach? I’m really curious. 

 19:44 - This scene is awesome. Malcolm is sad, upset, a little anxious, and angry (at Martin) throughout the scene. Martin, even though he is a crazy serial killer, actually gives Malcolm some good relationship advice. I guess it makes sense. Martin could never have tricked Jessica into marrying him unless he acted like a perfect, good dude with good relationship skills. 

20:04 - Martin actually believes he was a perfect father? Nope. I can’t. Any parent who genuinely believes that should have a psych eval. No one is perfect. Parents aren’t excluded from this rule. 

 20:56 - This is such a powerful moment. You can see how pleased Martin is because he got through the Malcolm. You can see how desperately Malcolm wants to love his father and how painfully aware Malcolm is of who his father is and how much he despises it. Malcolm shouldn’t have to remind himself to hate his father. No one should. Watching Malcolm grapple with that (through his facial expressions) is heart-wrenching. He actually looks close to tears for a moment. ALSO screw Martin for still trying to manipulate Malcolm into loving him. 

 22:10 - I’ll just say it. We’re all thinking it anyways. Malcolm’s soft voice when he’s confused is so freaking cute. 

23:08 - Look at JT’s face during this scene. He just about had a freaking heart attack. I feel soooo bad for him. I can only imagine how bad he feels. Gil gave him one (1) job: protect the baby. JT’s probably thinking, “If I can’t even protect this stranger’s baby - how will I ever protect my baby? Will I be a bad father?” Someone give this man a hug for me.

23:25 - Look at the way JT touches the infant to make sure she’s real. That is a man who is on the verge of a panic attack. 

 24:00 - AND now JT is worrying about Tally’s health throughout her impending pregnancy. Good Lord. What a rollercoaster he’s on tonight.

25:25 - Concerned!Gil for the win! Gil hasn’t been around Malcolm much this episode. Yes - Malcolm is obviously upset right now, but it makes me wonder if Jessica and/or Ainsley have called Gil because they’re concerned about Malcolm right now. Did they call Gil and ask him to send Malcolm home? 

 26:25 - Look at that. Malcolm looks crushed. Not surprised just disappointed. He truly believes that he’s not worthy of love. Eve just confirmed it for him. I honestly don’t know how this dude will ever trust any romantic partner ever again. My heart is shattered. 

26:43 - Look at how brave he’s being. He’s trying to mask his pain with a smile and a self-deprecating joke as usual. Problem is - his eyes look tortured and he’s trying to lie to the two women who know him best. They see through his mask and they’re concerned for him. 

27:00 - Ainsley is such a strange character to me. Right now as she tells Malcolm about Eve, she is looking at Malcolm with dread, concern, and determination. In 1x7/1x10 she publicly embarrassed him and revealed his personal, private details with the world - without remorse. I know that Ainsley is really obsessed with the progression of her career. However, it shouldn’t blind her to the emotions of her big brother. Ainsley needs therapy. 

 27:08 - soooo Eve has a key to Malcolm’s place? After two(ish) weeks? For a dude who doesn’t trust easily this seems like a stretch. I’m choosing to believe that Malcolm left the door open when he saw Ainsley and Jessica. 

 27:15 - THIS is so important. Jessica’s “How could you?”. See her face? She’s devastated. The first female friend she’s had in probably 20 years just stabbed her in the back. To make matters worse, this woman also just broke the heart of Jessica’s very emotionally vulnerable son - thereby also breaking Jessica’s heart. Furthermore - Jessica is definitely already paying rent in the self-loathing hotel because she traumatized her children because she married a serial killer. NOW she’s also dealing with the guilt of knowing that she’s the one who brought Eve into Malcolm’s life. That look hurt or devastation on Jessica’s face which later transforms into rage and hatred is haunting. Props to Bellamy Young. 

27:26 - This. Look at Malcolm’s face. Eve looks like she’s close to tears. Malcolm is looking at her with compassion. Yes - you can tell that Malcolm is devastated and hurt by Eve. However, he also clearly empathizes with her. Again. Malcolm. Bright. Is. An. A+. Dude. Fight me.

27:40 - Can we all just pause for a second and praise Tom Payne’s acting in this scene? He captured the raw emotion of a trauma induced panic attack perfectly. Look at how utterly broken Malcolm is. Hands shaking on his head. Tears in his eyes. Ragged breathing. Followed by a brief angry outburst which leads to more shaky, anxious breathing and eyes on the verge of tears. The end result is physical and emotional exhaustion. 

 27:45 - Ainsley looks shocked and a little scared by Malcolm’s outburst. Has she (HIS SISTER) never seen him have a panic attack? They grew up together. I refuse to believe it. Ainsley shouldn’t look shocked - she should look sad and resigned to it. 

 28:06 - This is heartbreaking. Malcolm genuinely thinks that there is something about him that makes him unlovable. I know he’s already in therapy - but they need to stop focusing on his trauma for a hot second and focus on his self-worth issues. I aM nOt OkAy. 

 28:22 - Can we all just take a minute to appreciate Dani Powell. She has been such a good friend to Malcolm. Probably the first true friend Malcolm’s had since he was 10 years old. Even in the midst of extreme emotional turmoil a work-related text from Dani makes Malcolm smile. Because Malcolm knows that Dani  - a woman who isn’t related to him and has no obvious crush on him - doesn’t hate him. In fact - she likes him enough to be his friend. Right now that’s enough. That’s a big comfort to Malcolm. 

 28:36 - This is sheer panic on Jessica’s part. Check out those eyes. She just saw pure self-loathing and anger in her son’s eyes. She’s terrified for him. Maybe this look is reminding her of a look he got as a teenager when he became suicidal (it’s my headcanon that Malcolm had a period of active suicidal ideation as a teenager)? 

 28:40 - “I can’t solve this.” Is Malcolm referring to himself here? I mean - he clearly thinks that he is the problem; despite the fact that Eve came into his family’s life with the intention of getting information on his serial killing father. Ugh. His sad eyes and messy hair (that tends to indicate Malcolm is in severe emotional distress) is breaking my heart. 

 28:54 - Ok. So - who is this woman? How did Christine find her? Why did Christine go to her? It doesn’t look like a women’s shelter - it looks like a random lady’s residential home. 

 29:00 - Again. Let’s all praise Queen Dani. The bestest friend this dude has ever had.  She just goes out and asks him what’s wrong. She’s concerned about him BECAUSE she knows he’s upset about something.

29:20 - I love that Malcolm is comfortable enough around Dani to be honest with her about the really hard stuff in his life. Look at how sad Malcolm looks here. Look at Dani’s reaction. She isn’t judging him or pitying him. She isn’t pushing him to talk. She’s just supporting him. She’s a little shocked, a lot upset on his behalf, but mostly she’s just concerned. She’s being a good friend and I love her for it. 

 29:36 - Lucas is a scum. Anyone who abuses a spouse, child, or family member has a special spot reserved in hell. 

 29:52 - Look at Dani as Christine tells her story. She’s sympathetic, respectful, and concerned. Either this isn’t the first time Dani’s been around a battered woman on the job or Dani has personal experience with abuse. Maybe a friend/family member was abused? Hell - maybe Dani had an abusive boyfriend or something? 

30:20 - I really respect Malcolm in this scene. He knows that women who are fresh out of an abusive relationship (or still in one) with a male are weary of men. Usually, when Malcolm gets this type of information about a case he starts speaking quickly, loudly, and intensely. He starts gesturing a lot with his hands. IN THIS SCENE - Malcolm reigns himself in. He stays relatively calm and still as he speaks. He knows that his usual hand-gesturing and loud voice would terrify a woman who was just beaten by a man who was supposed to love her. This. Is. A. Good. Dude.

31:10 - Malcolm just shows Dani his cracked phone screen. I’m curious - does she ever ask about it? I’d like to hear that conversation. 

33:05 - I LOVE THIS. Gil is terrified for a) Malcolm but b) Alessa and Nina too. This is a side of Gil I’d like to see more often. ALSO notice that the second that JT realizes that Gil is suffering from a parental panic attack he floors it. JT is going to be a good Dad. <3 He knows how to love and he has a big heart. That’s the most important thing. 

 34:34 - Again. Malcolm is currently displaying empathy and sympathy for a murderer. This dude has the biggest heart in the world. 

35:45 - Alessa is a badass. Nina is a lucky little girl. 

36:04 - I love this scene. Gil looks so relieved that Malcolm is in one (mostly unharmed) piece. He’s so proud of Malcolm for keeping Alessa and Nina safe. I’m certain that Jessica and/or Ainsley called Gil about Malcolm’s panic attack which exacerbated Gil’s worry over Malcolm.

37:07 - THE SCENE. The scene. This scene is easily my favourite of the episode. I love watching JT and Malcolm’s friendship in real time. Look right here this is two guys chatting about how cool someone is. <3 Look at how happy and proud JT is of a woman he just met. I promise you he’s thinking about how awesome and badass of a mother his wife is going to be. 

 37:28 - JT’s scared face coupled with his softly spoken “Dude.” stops my heart. It’s as though talking to someone other than his wife makes the baby seem like more of a scary, real responsibility. You can tell that he’s excited but still terrified about fatherhood. He’s not quite ready to tell people yet. 

37:37 - “The thing’s the size of a peanut.” - I googled it: Tally is about 9 weeks pregnant. ALSO how freaking cute is it that JT is so excited about his unborn child that he knows how big it is. <3 I can just see him panic researching about pregnancy and caring for infants in the middle of the night while Tally sleeps. <3 

 37:44 - He doesn’t want to jinx it? Does that mean he and Tally have had trouble getting pregnant in the past? Miscarriages? Infertility? Or is JT just scared from everything he’s been researching about pregnancy? Either way - if Tally looses this child I will riot. 

37:50 - “You don’t do happy.” - Malcolm’s face twists into a look of hurt and sadness. He genuinely believes JT’s words - even though JT meant them as a joke. JT sees that too because he immediately starts teasing Bright. JT is concerned about Malcolm. 

38:39 - So Eve does have a key. Nope. Not cool. Not in-line with Malcolm’s trust issues. I refuse to believe it. 

 39:11 - I hate watching Malcolm be this sad. Look at his nose. It’s just a little red - he’s been crying. His fragile ability to trust has been shattered again and Eve’s apology is quite honestly not very good. 

39:45 - Can we all just pause on Malcolm’s shirt? It looks like the orange sweater Gil wore in 1x13. Did they go shopping together? Did Malcolm buy the shirt because it reminded him of Gil? Does he only wear it when he feels sad because the fact that it reminds him of Gil comforts him

40:35 - What’s the story of Eve’s Dad? What’s his deal? 

41:40 - I’m really proud of Malcolm for being brave enough to face the truth and have this really difficult conversation with Eve. 

43:09 - Ok. I’ll say it. Malcolm is too nice. This woman shattered his heart last night and now he’s hugging her? Bro - you don’t have to do that. You’re allowed to be upset. You’re letting her walk all over you. 

Thanks for hanging out Prodigies. 

[hobiheavenly]

AFTER THE SUNRISE

☼ Pairing: Jung Hoseok x Reader

☼ Summary: you decided to play a prank on Hoseok since he called you undesirable, but were his claims actually true or is there something else hiding under the dancing man’s fascade?

☼ Word count: 4.6K

☼ Warning: fingering, cunnilingus (male receiving), slight dirty talk, penetration, cream pie, Hoseok’s huge dick and dancing hips

☼ A/N: ITS FINALLY HERE! I’m sorry to have kept all you waiting but finally I got this out of me. i swear I had the most horrible writers block but I hope this turns out for the better! Please let me know what you think! And as always I haven’t edited anything lol what else is new?

The sun was shining in Hoseok’s face. Normally he was usually a morning person but never after a party. He stretched out of the covers but then suddenly felt he wasn’t alone. He reared his head and his face lost all color. Oh no… he had really done it this time. I mean out of all the silly things he could have done, he truly fucked up this time. There you were lying in his bed. Looking under the blankets he confirmed his biggest fear….he was naked. And judging by the looks of the environment, a trail of clothes from the door to the bed, you both had sex. Hoseok went full panic mode as you slept peacefully naked underneath the covers. What even happened last night?

“Think Hoseok, think!!” he thought to himself. What DID he even do last night? All he remembered was going to Seokjin’s party and getting wasted after the dance battle he had with you and dancing with many girls, but in no moment had he gotten close to you….did he?

He remembered seeing you in that cute black ensemble and dancing with that pretty boy who had his hands all over you. That only made him just want to grab you and mess you up till you forgot all about that other guy. Sure he didn’t well like you but he couldn’t deny himself being attracted to you. But even if that were the case….at what point did he even get together with you?

You rolled over to put a hand on his chest, starting to hug him and pull closer to him. As you sighed in bliss, Hoseok looked at you as if you were an alien of another planet. SINCE WHEN DO YOU HUG HIM? WHY ARE YOU NAKED? There were a million questions in his mind he was bound to short circuit. In his jumbled mess of thoughts he knew one thing was certain. It would have seemed that you both had made love all night long. But it also seemed Jung Hoseok didn't have any memory of the incident whatsoever.

Now he had to face the consequences.

Slowly you opened your eyes and smiled as you kissed his cheek.

“Good morning” you said, smile so soft and warm. it was such a contrast to your regular serious face you greeted him with the exception of the occasional small smile popping in his direction.

“Uh, good morning Y/N”

“Y/N? why so formal? What happened with calling me “babygirl”? I mean that’s what you’ve been calling me all night” you stretched a little like a kitten waking up from a nap, a little bit of the sheet slipping down revealing your cleavage.

Whoa, were your tits always this good looking?

“Y/N… I mean Baby, what happened last night?”

“You mean you don't remember? I mean after doing it four times I thought for sure you wouldn't forget”, you give a flirty wink.

Hoseok was in total shock. FOUR TIMES! He knew he was a good lover, but for heaven's sake that was too much on a drunken night.

“All I remember is going to a party with Seokjin and drinking a couple of drinks, and then everything goes blank.”

You smiled and blushed. It was as if you both shared a secret but unfortunately he wasn’t able to recall at all “Oh that was some party last night. Especially the one you and I had here. I mean for a man who claims he doesn’t desire me you couldn’t keep your hands off of me” you looked down and traced circles in his chest while the hue of your cheeks went a little more red “Even when it's my first time without a condom it still was incredible!”

HOLY SHIT! He had fucked you without a wrapper. If he was feeling bad before for doing this the fact that you had entrusted him to fuck you without a condom made him feel even crappier. Jung Hoseok was many things in this life but he was a gentleman first and foremost and he would never fuck without a condom, especially on the first go. But how do you tell a girl who is over the moon about your sexual prowess that you remembered nothing?

“Y/N, I'm sorry but last night was a mistake.”

Bad start. He knew better than to start with the M word just as you were happy about this. You started forming the cutest pout with a splash of sadness coming from your eyes. It would be a lie to say he didn’t crave to kiss your lips and take away that sad expression. But no, this is time to focus.

“What do you mean a mistake? You were the one who actually begged me to do it. I was saying no, but you kept insisting.”

Hoseok sat up and took his hair off his face. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. This must be wrong, he would never beg a girl to have sex with him. "Ok calm down Hoseok I'm sure you must be dreaming. Y/N isn't here and you are just dreaming. Yeah, you are just having an erotic dream about Y/N"

He rubbed his eyes and even pinched himself, but it was useless, you were still there. Then panic struck him like a hammer. What if he got you pregnant? Damn, he was a goner if Krystal knew what he had done since she hated his guts more than anyone.

“Are you ok, Hobi? You don't look so good”

HOBI? A cute ass nickname? Really? Just how far did all this go?

“I….don't remember anything last night” He said nervously “I am so sorry”

A pained expression covered your face as you clutch to the bed sheets, “But you said you loved me. that you would treat me right. Are you saying you lied to me?”

“Technically it’s not a lie since I don’t remember” he tried to joke it off but that only made things worse because your face was just even more sad. Hoseok grabbed your shoulders, “Again, I’m so sorry, Y/N. I normally dont sleep around so easily. I’m always more focused on my dancing that I never think of girls.

“But what about those other girls you dated? Momo and the other girl?” you asked surprised.

Hoseok sighed and sat up straight. this had been thrown in his face so many times before it was necessary to set the record straight, “Ok so let me clear that once and for all, Momo is my dance partner and nothing else. She and I never dated and it was all a dumb rumor that grew way out of proportion. Besides she’s in a happy relationship with Jeongyeon, the other girl in the picture”

You blink for a second, disbelieving the statement the naked man in front of you had just said. It couldn’t be wrong. All the indications said otherwise, there was no way this could be true.

“But I saw the pictures...And the kiss emoji...you two were so close. And then the tons of girls that you go after.”

“Nope, Momo is completely utterly in lesbians with her girlfriend. Funny you mention that because Jeongyeon believed that same rumor and for the longest time hated my guts thinking I was going to snatch her girlfriend. But that time we went to dinner all together we bonded and she doesn’t hate me as much” He chuckled lightly reminiscing the many colorful threats and hard, cold stares Jeongyeon would throw at him from time to time, “and the other girls are just fans of my dancing and nothing more. I draw a fine line between my fans and myself and I have a rule of never dating a fan. Too troublesome.”

Unbelievable! You think you know a guy and it turns out he’s actually good?? Unreal!

“So you’re not a player?” You ask still blinking in confusion.

“Of course not. I barely go out with friends. Sure girls ask me out and stuff but I mostly just dance, go home, eat, and play videogames. My sex life is pretty dry to be honest. Which is why I’m very surprised I even slept with you”

This was the first of you hearing this. After all this time, you just thought he was always going out and sleeping with different girls, which made hating him easier for you. This entire scene was based on the misconception of this, but it turns out he was just a simple guy who could only think of dancing and if his body was any indication, he truly did it a lot. His abs glimmering in the morning light. You were starting to regret doing this.

You shifted in bed trying to get up scurrying yourself away from him. You needed out of this whole convoluted situation. “Listen Hoseok, I think it’s best if we just put this all behind us. Like you said it’s a mistake and we can just never speak of this again”

“But, you said we fucked without a condom?” Hoseok asked.

“Yeah, fucked me raw all night. But what does that matter now?”

He saw the precipitation in your eyes. There’s something here more than meets the eye and he wanted you to spill the beans. There was only one way he could get a woman to tell him what he wanted and you were right there ready to do what he pleases.

“I have to take responsibility over this Babe.” the brunet haired Adonis said as his face grew a sneaky smile. “I will have to get you to go out with me and form a relationship….probably even marry you if it turns out you get pregnant”

“Well, you don't have to do that. I mean, this was just something that...happened” You said nervously as Hoseok got closer to you. Each inch making you difficult to breathe, “I can just take the day after pill or something…”

“Oh, but I want to. And I wouldn't mind making you my wife” he said with a very sexy smile. He’s got you cornered just like he wanted you.

“Really?” you said surprised “cause I don't mind that we did it without a condom. I mean we wouldn’t be the first couple to do so... I..I…”

You were interrupted abruptly by a very passionate kiss that Hoseok layed on your lips. It was incredible how easily you felt weak and trembled in his arms as he possessed your lips. You felt the room spin in circles as both of you submerged into kissing each other.

It would be a lie say that you had never imagined yourself kissing Hoseok. Deep down, as much as you grew yourself to hate him you couldn’t really do so. The attractive style, his grace as he walked, the way he seemed to own everything but was never smug about it always pulled you in to him like a magnet. You didn’t hate Hoseok so much as you hated yourself for being attracted to him.

He pulled you close as he deepened the contact you both made instinctively your hands went to his chest and neck. You brain screamed to stop, your heart yelled go, and your body seemed on fire all from just one kiss.

When you both pulled away you were both breathless, lips numb and eyes dark from the passion that formulated within both of you. You had to slap yourself mentally to regain consciousness of reality. This can’t be true! Hoseok would never have feelings for you...right?

“I’m confused, I thought you said...that you didn’t like me” you closed your eyes. The room seemed to spin in its own axis threatening to make you dizzy.

“We said a lot of things online but most of them were fueled by anger I felt. If I’m being honest I didn’t hate our first date. Yes, I will admit I didn’t help make a good impression coming in all sweaty and in my dancing clothes. But overall I had fun and I thought you were cute, peculiar, but cute nonetheless.”

“That’s why the tweets hurt so much for me. I thought we had something but then you went off to complain and then proceeded to date another guy, of course I’d be mad”

Oh my god, your day out with Jungkook! That wasn’t really even a date for you. You felt bad about this whole situation, it was necessary to apologize and tell him the truth of what went on but Hoseok continued talking.

“I was angry at you and then at him but then I became more angry at myself. I was the one who blew it so it’s only natural. I just wanted one more chance to try to mend things but you and I would get into arguments and I must admit I love confrontation with you, it really turns me on”

Your mouth went agape with Hoseok’s confession. This was totally unexpected. You just wanted to prove the point that you were desirable to him but this goes beyond what you expected to get out of him. He took advantage of this moment to continue kissing you his hands spread on your back as he continues to press against you.

Hoseok’s lips spread on your skin beginning with your neck and going down to your breasts. You parted your lips the moment his tongue started getting closer to your bosom but instead of a plea to stop what escaped your lips was a soft moan. Oh how you cursed your body for betraying you.

Hoseok’s eyes looked at you, darkened by the lust he felt as he continued licking and using his teeth on your now hardened nipple. “I’ve wanted to touch you and taste you for the longest time. And from here on out you are going to be mine, no more pretty boy for you”

The sexual haze was drowning you to the point of forgetting everything that was going on around you. You needed a moment to think. you needed….

“Hold it right there!”

Hoseok turned to the door and saw Kim Seokjin and Jung Krystal, your personal friends, standing there looking at the couple. Your lover grew angry. “Seokjin this better be good! What do you want?” he said irritated.

“I can't let you take away Y/N’s innocence.”

“What are you going on about Hyung? Innocence? This a private matter between me and Y/N”

Right behind Seokjin, Krystal came out and pushed the rich heir out of the way making her presence be center stage, like the queen she usually was. “Actually no. You and Y/N have never made love to each other” Krystal interjected.

“But last night….”

“You passed out after a couple of drinks. I told you drinking scotch was a bit too hard for you” said Seokjin shrugging his broad shoulders and shaking his head.

The confusion on Hoseok’s face became the most evident. It would explain his lack of memory of any event occurred last night. But was this all really just a ruse? Had all the emotions you displayed right now been a lie?

“And the three of us had a perfect way to prank you” she replied with delight, “well better yet, Seokjin and I made a bet to Y/N that she could pretend to have made love to you. Fortunately for us, she was already buzzed and was looking for a thrill”

You could see Hoseok’s expression changed in that moment. Gone was the smile and the playful smirk and was now being replaced by a stern face. You instantly felt the pang of regret in your chest. If only you had known before about his feelings. Why had you been so blind?!

“I got to say, she is a good actress” said the older hyung, rubbing more salt to the wound.

So it was a prank? He hadn't made love to you? He felt a bit relieved but the other part of him felt angry. Hoseok had revealed his emotions to you so easily. He felt like a fool for trusting you so quickly seeing as how you had previously expressed anger and disgust. That couldn’t have been taken away a in one night and he should have known that.

“How could you do this?” Hoseok said with a somber and serious voice.

“Well at first i did it because Seokjin was going to pay me. When I thought this more I convinced myself that this was payback for all the snarky remarks you did about me being undesirable and i thought what better way to get back at you than to scare you” as you relayed this you could see his face harden with each word until you finished with,

“But then I realized that in reality this was a really great way to get closer to you.”

Hoseok blinked in confusion, “If you wanted to get closer to me then why did you have to make up all this?”

“You think you would have taken time to even get to know me, or even listen to me for more than three seconds without you fighting with me? I wanted to be with you as something more than just the silly girl who you always make fun of.”

Hoseok looked at you tenderly. Even through the competitive nature you both had and the disdain you had always shown him you were a sweet girl. An impulsive one, but sweet nonetheless. He looked at Seokjin and gave him an evil glare.

“Get out now!”

The elder shook nervously behind his tall girlfriend, “Look Hobi-ah we are sorry but please take it easy. We were only having fun.”

“Get. Out. Now!”

Hoseok pulled Seokjin and Krystal out of his bedroom and out of his apartment.

“Wait, what about Y/N? Don't tell me that you are going to punish her?” said Krystal.

“As a matter a fact, I am. My soon to be girlfriend has a thing or two she needs to learn about the consequences of trouble making” Hoseok slamming the door in their faces and directly went back to look at you lying in his bed. His eyes redshot in rage and a stern line on his lips. He walked slowly, like a lion hunting his prey.

“I….I’m sorry” you held the sheets in a tight grip, nervous as Hoseok walked up to you, “I can make this up to you somehow, I didn’t know you liked me and I…”

The moment Hoseok shook right next to your bed, he swiftly pulled you close to him and possessed your lips in one stealthy move. His lips were demanding, pressing you so close to him it gave you no space to breathe or think.

“You wanna make it up to me? How about making that fake scene come true? How about I take your body and mark it mine again and again till you have nothing in your mind other than me?”

His words sent chills up your spine and started a fire in your core. You looked at his eyes, studied his expression as you touched his cheek, then gracing his neck and his chest. Normally your instinct would yell to run and leave, but your body felt numb to instinct craving the attention and the touch of Hoseok’s hands all over you.

“Then make me yours, hot shot. You should know well by now that I never back down from a challenge”

With just a growl as a response, Hoseok pulled away the bed sheets and pushed you down on the bed. He observed your body spread on his bed, waiting for him to fuck you hard and make good on that threat he made. He was determined to enjoy that delicious body of yours slowly till he drove you mad.

Hoseok lowers himself kissing you passionately as his fingers explore your skin, the touch sparking fire on your body, every inch he touched burning. He looked at your nipples for a second as he pinched softly on one of them, the sensation sure to ignite more heat.

But that was just one bump in the road, there’s was much more to explore and have fun with. The moment his fingers reached your core he swiftly entered his digit inside the hot entrance, your pussy already hot and wet from his previous foreplay.

“All hot and wet for me babygirl? You’re feeling rather tight though” with just one finger he started to pump inside “do you think your pussy can take me?”

The challenge, he knew how to get you fired up. You responded to his touch with a soft moan as you grabbed yourself to his shoulders and arched your back. You took advantage of the distraction he had with your breast as he dipped his head to succor your tit to grab a hold of his erect penis, pumping him slowly. The unexpected movement causing him to react to your touch. If he wanted a challenge he’s gonna get one.

“You let me worry about my pussy… unless you think this big fat cock’s not enough?”

Fuck taking this slow, he wanted you right then and there. But just like with dancing he wanted to take this sensual tango for two and make it as long as necessary. He pumped, you pumped, he put another finger inside you while his thumb traced circles to your clit while you tightened the grip on his dick tracing circles on the hot red head. It was all a give and take as you both kept kissing each other almost devouring each other with each kiss.

“Hoseok….i feel like I’m gonna cum soon” you felt the flashes of pleasure come in like a tidal wave and wipe you out in the most delicious way.

You didn’t need to be a psychic to know he had his smug smile come through his face as you descended from your high. Round one went to Hoseok, but the battle wasn’t over yet. “Aww...cumming so soon? And my dick hasn’t even gone inside you yet” he faked a pout.

Your breath hitched for a bit as you closed your eyes on him. Swiftly you push Hoseok on the bed and slithered your way down to his dick, waiting erect and hot for your touch. “Then I guess I better step up my game”

His dick twitched with excitement which brought a smirk to your lips. Your lips sucked the head, the taste salty from his precum. One thing was true, his cock was way too big for you to take. At least with your mouth for sure. You had to use both of your hands to pump while your mouth sucked him in and out at an increasingly slow tempo. Hoseok had slept with many girls in his lifetime but seeing you between his legs bobbing your head and struggling to be able to take his full length inside your mouth was both adorable and erotic. That mouth that once spat vicious things to him was now sucking him off as if life depended on it. He could see you touching your clit trying to get some fun out of this yourself but you opted to just stick to pleasuring him. Your high would come soon after.

But your technique was too good on him in the long run, his orgasm threatening to come any second. You let go of Hoseok’s cock in one pop and it took him all of his inner strength to not come in your face as he saw you; hair messy, lips red from the friction and your eyes darkened in lust.

“Are you not gonna cum for me?” Your catty smile grew wickedly on your face. Seems like you’re both at a tie.

“I’d rather cum inside you” he shifted his weight on his forearms as you lifted yourself back up and kissed him once more. His taste lingered in your mouth triggering a beastly growl from Hoseok as he grabbed your legs to put you in the correct position, grabbing his dick to probe around your hot entrance that was already twitching to be fucked.

The moment his dick entered your core, time seemed to stop. There was no twitter war, no other people, no feuds of any sort. It was just Hoseok and you in a strangely perfect link of body and soul.

For Hoseok, pussy was madness; pleasure feeling so heavenly, the heat feeling like something made from hell. He felt bliss and sin all in one sweet movement of his dick.

You closed your eyes feeling his entire length slowly enter you, the head of his dick gracing the cervix making you see stars so quickly. But Hoseok snapped you back to reality, by literally slapping your ass, eyes fixed on you.

“Look at me while I fuck you, look at me and only me”

“You truly do love an audience when you dance” you said breath shaking with the warning of an impending second orgasm.

“This is my best dance yet, babygirl” he winked, moving his hips slowly and little by little increasing his tempo. Hoseok’s dancing abilities truly shined the moments he fucked you. His hips knew the right force to which to drive you crazy. Soft, soft, hard. Your hips swayed along not wanting to fall back

Your legs locked behind his back as you bounced on his dick. Every second his dick was out, your pussy pulled him right back in. You craved it you needed it like a drug and Hoseok didn’t fall behind. It was crazy just how right you both felt. The crook of his hips gave perfect access for your legs, your beautiful tits bouncing on top of his in the most synchronized way.

“I can’t…I’m gonna cum again...fuck you’re so big inside me”

“Same...your pussy is so good it’s devouring me whole...I can’t wait anymore”

Even while on the verge of an impending orgasm, Hoseok’s mind was knocked into reality. He didn’t have a condom on and cumming inside you would be inconsiderate. And as if you could read his concerns you put your lips close to his ear and whispered: “it’s okay I can take the pill, do good on that promise and mark me as yours Hobi”

“Ffffuuuuckkk!!!” He bellowed as he came on top of you, his hot cum splattering on your insides. Hoseok tumbled down next to you, both of you out of breath and completely dazed after the most amazing orgasm both of you had ever felt.

“This... is way better than a twitter war” you spouted happily as you kissed your brand new boyfriend in his lips.

“Had I known sex would be this great we could have avoided so much shit had we just fucked the first date” Hoseok smirked toyingly.

“Good sir, but I am still a lady!” You feigned indignation, “I never sleep on the first date!”

“Well then, good thing the first one was already over. How about I take you to many more to make up for the one I screwed up?”

“Challenge accepted” you laughed as you continued to lazily kiss each other.

For the rest of the day the two of you decided to just stay in his room where you dedicated the entire day talking about how you felt, about every single misconception between the both of you and of course there was the "obedience lessons".

[hancocksspouse]

14 and 3 please dear amazing writer

This is a good combo lol

—

It never ceased to amaze Doll just what the human body was capable of when adrenaline kicked in. How everything seemed to move in slow motion and reaction sped ahead of thought and how sometimes, she couldn’t even fully recall what happened until well after the fact.

Hancock of course never had a problem retelling the story as if it were some grandiose battle for the ages rather than every day life in the Commonwealth. She was certain he was exaggerating wildly for both his own humor and anyone within earshot of them. Whether he was intentionally trying to impress or if it was simply the chems in his system still remained to be seen but she let him go on every time he started up.

Now, however, all they were trying to do was catch their breath, both still too winded to light a cigarette, much less stand up from their spot on the wooden shack floor, feet propped on the back of a dead super mutant. Without looking, Doll reached up onto the table beside her and grabbed the can of purified water.

“Ya know, I seen super mutants hole up in a lotta weird places before”, Hancock said, finally mustering the energy to rummage his coat for a cigarette. “But I still don’t see a reason for them to be here”. He motioned his hand at their current location, Breakheart Banks. She quirked her brows up, taking long swallows of water.

“Probably because of the view. Hard to get the drop on a place like this when it’s got the high ground”, she said. He nodded with a chuckle.

“Yea, I guess that makes sense. ‘Course, vantage point or not, it don’t take 20/20 sight to see your aim with explosives needs work”, he teasingly cracked, making Doll roll her eyes.

“Oh my god, it was ONE Molotov-“

“And that ONE molotov lit up two mutant hounds, a row of corn, and ALMOST me”, he deadpanned, a hairless brow raised as he turned his head to look at her.

“Oh, you can go to hell”, she smirked, taking the cigarette from his hand and bumming a long drag from it. Another chuckle left him.

“Stop threatening me with a good time”, he winked at her as he took his cigarette back. “Especially if you ain’t gonna deliver”.

She let out a laugh that was quickly interrupted by a sharp groan that had her grabbing her side and clenching her teeth. Hancock frowned.

“Doll, are you alright?” He asked. She nodded, holding her other hand up before he could start inspecting her.

“I’m good. It’s probably just a bruise or a scrape”, she said, trying to brush it off. He looked down at the gloved hand holding her side and noticed a wetness building at the palm.

“You’re wearing a leather jacket. Scrapes shouldn’t be possible”, he said, gently grabbing her hand and swiping a finger over the palm, seeing dark red on his finger tip. “I think you’re bleeding...”

He quickly got up and helped her onto her feet to sit her on the bed, assuring she didn’t trip over the mutant body.

“I’m sure it’s nothing”, she said, hissing again as she sat down. He frowned and rolled his eyes.

“Oh, don’t start that again. You ain’t bulletproof, sister”, he lightly scolded as he unzipped her jacket and carefully pulled it off. Sure enough, a large red patch had dyed the left side of her shirt, blood blooming from a bullet hole. “Damn. Alright, pull your shirt up for me”.

She raised a brow and looked at him.

“Wow, ain’t even gonna buy me dinner and tell me I’m pretty first?” She joked, making him both chuckle and rub his temples before reaching into his bag and pulling out a stimpak and other supplies.

“Well sister, if you weren’t bleedin’ out right now, you’d get all that and then some. I will, however, need you to lie down with your shirt up so I can get the damn bullet out ‘cause I think the blood loss is makin’ you delirious”.

The banter helped keep her calm while he sterilized a thin silver knife that sat on the bedside table and she laid back.

“You sure you know what you’re doing?” She asked, watching him as he inspected the wound. His concentration remained on the task at hand.

“This ain’t my first bullet wound and it sure as hell ain’t your first either”, he said, carefully giving her a small dose of med-x before bringing the knife towards the wound. “Alright. Don’t move. I’m goin’ in and for the first time, it ain’t gonna be fun”.

The med-x helped take away a good bit of pain, but there was still enough to make her clench her jaw as Hancock slid the knife into the bullet hole, shifting it until he felt metal hit metal.

“You’re doin’ good, Doll. I’m almost done and then I’ll give ya somethin’ to help”, he reassured her as he pressed his hand around the wound, the pressure making the bullet press against the knife and slowly come back out.

Soon enough, the bullet tapped against the wooden floor and they both let out breaths they didn’t know they were holding.

“Don’t get too comfortable yet. Still gotta sterilize ya”, he said, popping the top off a vodka bottle and she groaned.

“Ah, come on, do you have to-FUCK!”

“Pfft, no, I don’t have to fuck but it is one of my favorite things to do”, he snickered, dodging the smack Doll aimed at his arm. “Relax, relax. Ya did good. Now, we just gotta wrap you up”.

Some gauze and medical tape was secured around the wound and a stimpak was given to her before she sat up with a sigh, the pain now a dull ache.

“Thanks for patching me up”, she said, pulling her shirt back down. Hancock shrugged, putting everything back and lighting another cigarette.

“Not a problem, sister. It’s what I’m here for”, he smiled and then suddenly frowned. “Quit tryin’ to hide that shit from me, too. ‘I’m fine’ ain’t gonna do you any good if you suddenly hit the ground while we’re on the road. Had we started headin’ back to the settlement after that, you coulda bled out”.

Doll shrunk back a little at the gentle scolding, awkwardly looking away.

“I know, I know. I’m sorry. In my defense, adrenaline is a hell of a thing and I didn’t think it was that bad”, she pouted. He rolled his eyes but simply smirked again.

“Immortality don’t mean a damn thing if you’re just gonna make me worry to death over you”.

“Yea, well, right now the only thing I’m worried about is getting back to the settlement and letting them know we cleared everything up here”, she said, slowly getting up. She groaned a bit at the discomfort in her side, making Hancock hold his hand out to her which she carefully took as they made their way out of the shack.

“You gonna be alright?” He asked. She nodded.

“Yea, I think I’m good now”.

“Then why ya still holding my hand?” He teased, making her look to see her still hanging onto him. She rolled her eyes and let go.

“Oh, go to hell”

“Heh, like I said, Doll. Stop threatening me with a good time”.

—

I hope that was okay! I’ve never taken prompts before and I’m really glad a couple people asked! Feel free to share any ideas or anything else you may have!

[parkersharthook]

Spill Your Guts...

(Tom Holland x female!reader)

Warnings: gross food and little mentions of tom holland, lol sorry

2.2k+ words

you’re invited by James Corden on the show to play a little game of Spill Your Guts or Fill Your Guts.

“Now y/n, I know you are familiar with this game correct?”

You squinted your eyes at the nasty foods that sat on the table in front of you, “unfortunately.”

James laughed slightly as he continued, “well for those of you who don’t know this game is called Spill Your Guts or Fill Your Guts. I will be asking the lovely y/n here some questions that my writers have typed up. Neither her nor me have seen the questions before this. Should y/n not want to answer the question then she will have to eat one of these delectable snack choices we have.”

You clasped your hands together, “and what do we have here today James?”

He smiled, “well thank you for asking. Today our selection is filled with crickets, blood head cheese, hot sauce, bull penis, sardine smoothie, cow’s tongue, deep fried butter, and a thousand-year-old egg.”

You grimaced, “yum. Okay, who’s going first?”

“Why don’t you start first.”

You rubbed your hands together and peered around the table, “just because I think it’s the most disgusting option up here, I am going to give you the blood head cheese.” The crowd cringed at the sight, “okay James…” A small laugh escaped your throat as you read the card, “ok. Okay. This one isn’t that bad, which I’m kind of disappointed by.” You looked him dead in the eye, “why wasn’t Tom included in the Avengers Tour Bus Segment.”

James shook his head slightly as the crowd laughed at the question. James eyed the gross cube of food. “Blood head cheese or….” He sighed and ran a hand over his face, “okay. Now before we start, I love Tom. He’s a fantastic actor and great guy.”

You laughed, “but….?”

He sighed again, contemplating his options once more. “There was a scheduling conflict.”

You rolled your eyes and pointed at him, “bullshit. James, that is bullshit. Spill or fill baby.”

He laughed again, “okay fine. To be completely honest, it’s because Sebastian Stan and Anthony Mackie were on the bus.” You threw your head back in laughter. “I’m serious. I thought that conflict would arise and decided I would be the proactive one and stop it before it started.”

You clapped your hands as you laughed. “wait no, that’s brilliant. Oh my god…” You let out a shaky breath and wiped the small tears that formed in your eyes, “Good job James.”

“thank you, thank you. Now, for your first food. I’m going to give you the cow’s tongue.” He picked up a paper, his eyes scanning the question and a large smile spread over his face.

“oh no.” you whispered. “you know this game is unfair. I’m literally apart of one of the most secretive movie companies on earth!”

James nodded and laughed, “yes you are.” He placed the card down before glancing at it again quickly. “okay. So… y/n. If you had to replace any MCU actor with someone else, who would you swap?”

You fought the small smile that made its way onto your lips. “fuck.” You quickly covered your mouth, “sorry I keep forgetting we can’t swear on American television. But damn this is hard.”

“There is always the tongue.”

“I know that there’s a cow’s tongue!” You quipped back easily causing James to laugh loudly. “But there’s literally no one that I would want to replace. Everyone is so good.”

“That’s not an answer.”

You groaned slightly, “I’m like trying to remember all of the movies.” Your eyes looked to ceiling as you thought before your eyes popped open. “okay I actually have one.”

James’s eyes widened as he smiled, “oh do tell.”

“give me one sec.” you quickly pulled out your phone and texted Kevin Feige who was sitting in the back of the audience listening, probably waiting to fire you. Bautista?

“woah woah wait a second. What are you doing there?” James asked while laughing.

You giggled as you looked dup from your phone, “making sure I don’t lose my job.” yeah go ahead. “okay we’re good. I would replace Dave Bautista with Dwayne Johnson.”

The crowd oohed as James almost lost it, “really? Why?”

You held up a finger, “I’m sorry I didn’t realize that we were allowed to ask two questions. Now, I think it’s your turn.”

He continued laughing as you spun the table around so that the deep-fried butter was in front of him. “Okay keep laughing James. Because this next question is a doozey.”

“oh boy bring it on.”

You laughed, “how much money did you get paid to do Peter Rabbit?”

James frowned instantly and ran a hand over his lips, “alright here we go.” He lifted the stick of butter, it almost slipping through his fingers. You covered your mouth as you gagged slightly. You looked away as James took a rather large bite of the butter. You instantly turned your body as you heard his gag, not wanting to look at the scene. He spit the butter into the nearby bucket and took a large gulp of water to wash down the foul taste. He wiped his mouth and let out a small laugh at your disgusted face.

“Oh, James that was awful, I’m truly sorry.”

He shook his head as his tongue poked out over his lip. “okay now I want to give you something bad.” He spun the table around so that the shot flute of hot sauce sat in front of you. He picked up the card and laughed, quickly covering his mouth. “ok y/n, now I get to return the favor. How much were you paid to do avengers.”

You bit your lip and cringed at both the question and the idea of having to drink hot sauce. You picked up the small glass and examined it, “how hot is this?”

James laughed, “the hottest one we could find.”

“so, like if my mouth is ruined after this…?” he just shrugged, and you sighed, “well let’s toast to lost friends, then shall we?” He laughed loudly as you raised the glass in toast and plugged your noise. You tipped it back and waited for the thick liquid to slowly roll into your mouth. You barely took a full sip before you were reeling back and shaking your head in disgust. You put down the glass and fought to swallow it. Eventually you forced the hot liquid down your throat and gagged, instantly picking up the glass of water.

“holy—you actually drank it.” James said in surprise.

You nodded as you chugged down more water, letting out a large sigh before the burn really set it. “fuck, it’s really hot.” You laughed slightly as you tried to fan your mouth.

“I didn’t think you would actually drink that.”

You nodded and shook out the sleeves of your blouse. You took another large sip, “When I play a game, I play to win. But fuck, this is really hot.” You billowed your shirt to bring some air to your body, “can I get some milk? Like this is really hot.”

James laughed and nodded, “yeah we can get you some milk.” He looked off to one of his crew members and gestured. A moment later a glass of cool milk was being handed to you.

“thank you so much.” You said before you took a large sip. “man, that was really hot. What pepper was that made from?”

James shrugged with a large grin over his face, “I don’t know but I’m happy that wasn’t me.”

You shook your head and bit your lip looking at the selection of gross food. “well now you better watch out James because I’m out for revenge. Why don’t we go with the nice sardine smoothie?”

“I was hoping I wouldn’t get this one.”

“whelp.” You shrugged. You read the card, “get ready to drink. James, which product that you endorse do you actually not use or enjoy?”

James ran his fingers over his lips, “out of any of the products that I endorse?”

You shook your head, “they’re options. Chase Bank, Apple Music, or Keurig Coffee.”

James frowned and looked over to his production crew, “why guys? Why.” You let out a hearty laugh as James began to eye the glass of the chunky smoothie. “I guess I too should toast to broken friendships.” You laughed as he tipped the glass your way before taking a sip.

You watched him instantly spit it back out causing you to boo, “James! I swallowed all of the hot sauce, weak!”

He wiped his mouth and offered you the glass, “please show me how it’s done if you’d like.” You shook your head and he lowered the glass, “that’s what I thought. Now for you, I thought of this since last round. I want you to eat some crickets.”

You smirked slightly as he picked up the card. He opened his mouth in shock before continuing, “y/n, are all of the characters that died in Avengers: Infinity War permanently dead?”

You smiled, “oh that’s easy.” Everyone perched on the edge of their seats, “I don’t know.”

James rolled his eyes, “of course you know.”

“no, I actually don’t. We aren’t told anything. I will find out the answer to that question at the same time you will, which is when it comes out.”

“That is such a cop out!”

You widened your eyes and laughed, “no it wasn’t! That’s the truth!”

He pointed to the glass accusingly, “eat it.”

“But I answered the question!”

“fine then, does your character stay dead?”

You shook your head vigorously, “no no no no! That wasn’t the question!”

“you need to eat that!”

You smiled widely and pushed it away from you, “I am not gonna eat it. I’m sorry that it wasn’t the answer you were looking for, but I still answered the question!” Both you and James laughed loudly as he finally relented.

“Fine you don’t have to eat it.”

You grimaced, “no you know what, I will eat them because I’m not a cheater. So, while I did answer the question…” you looked directly into the camera, “I will still eat the crickets.”

“What?” James laughed, “No you really don’t have to.”

You lifted your hands in surrender, “no James. It’s fine, I’ll eat the crickets.” You lifted one by the legs, “I’ve actually eaten a cricket before.”

James did a double take as you tossed the bug into your mouth with relative ease. You chewed it slightly before swallowing as James stared with an open mouth.

“wait wait back it up. Why did you eat a cricket?”

You laughed slightly as you took a sip of water, “my granddad used to buy these packs of like bacon flavored worms or cheese flavored crickets as a joke, and one thanksgiving—”

“you ate those instead of the probably delicious food that was around you?”

You laughed and shook your head, “no no. My brother and I played what are the odds and I lost so I had to eat them, and I did.”

“why didn’t you just like… not eat them?”

You scoffed, “do you have an older brother?” He shook his head, “okay then. You can’t just back out of a dare.”

“alright then let’s continue. We have one question left for each of us.”

You nodded and spun the table, so the thousand-year-old egg was in front of him, “last one James, which do you prefer: USA or England?”

The crowd oohed loudly as James dropped his head with laughter, “oh man. I mean, I love both countries so much.”

“yeah okay.” You smirked, “now answer the question.”

He laughed again, “I’m forever grateful that I’ve had the opportunity to be here in America and host this amazing show. But London is my home, I grew up there.”

“right… your answer?” You leaned forward slightly, teasing him

“cheers.” You laughed loudly as James took a bite, almost instantly spitting it out and gulping at the water.

“alright last one y/n and I will give you the last food option, the bull penis.”

You groaned slightly as you lifted the bowl to sniff it. “okay the smell could be worse but it also could be a hell of a whole lot better.”

James laughed and tapped the card on the desk, “to finish the game, y/n… how good is Tom in bed?”

You ran your tongue over your bottom lip as you shook your head. “oh my god.”

“your answer?”

You bit your lip, “my answer is…. It is very ironic that I’m about to eat bull penis instead of answering a sex related question.”

“yes, it is now answer or dig in.”

You picked up a penis slice between your sharpened nails and lifted it towards your mouth. You pursed your lips before letting out a breath and putting the bull penis into your mouth.

“how is it?” James asked with a sly smile

You grimaced and swallowed thickly, “chewy.”

James laughed and clapped his hands, “well that is our game. Thank you so much to y/n y/l/n for being such a good sport in the game and doing much better than me. Avengers 3 is now on Blu-Ray and DVD and stay tuned for the exclusive drop of an Avengers 4 clip!” You clapped along with James before standing up and giving him a light hug. You waved to audience as the curtain dropped. Your phone instantly dinging in your pocket.

You pulled it out as you walked back towards the dressing room.

Tom: You did great babe and you really took one for the team on the last one.

y/n: you owe me

Tom: of course