#cause applied to irl ppl and its a bad thing

[chocymilksailor]

i love being fictional but in real life actually. like my identity being inherently rooted in """fiction""" and yet boom here i am . a fictional creatura. an embodiment of having passed thru many existences that many would consider fictional. oooooooooooo the bleed between reality and fiction. anyway

[nahalism]

Do you think, ultimately, the internet has some great positive effects on you? Thinking mostly of an outlet, or maybe a means to connect with others…does it at times affect you negatively as well? How is it for you you little wild 1

lol little wild 1 is funny.

personally i have good things to report. i mainly use it as a digital library (to learn, to look thru various archives, download books, music and online lectures). when i am using social media follow pages that will show me content i want to see, rather than follow people simply cause i like them and their personality. i also choose to post in a way where i put out the kind of energy id like to share w people irl. ofc, thats not completely true 100% of the time. mostly cause i cant control ppls perception of me, but also i also vent a lot more online than i would irl (particularly on tumblr). howeverr, even that venting is a representation of who i am so 'tis what it is.

i think the internet an outlet and a means to connect with others, & unlike some, i dont think its any less valid than real life communication, however i do think its not a substitute for real life interaction as a whole. ive met lots of great ppl thru it who ive later come to rly love and appreciate in real life. so yeaaa. the negative aspect i guess is when ur aware of more, u see and feel more, and consequently experience things at a heightened level. whether thats having too much information to process or being able to compare / hyper analyse yourself / your worth at a higher level due to the wider pool of comparison available. whilst that can be 'bad' i also think its good and helping humanity evolve at an accelerated level and much needed speed.

all that being said, i think the internet is like most things in life. its a mirror. a persons perception of it and experience of using it is mostly a reflection of who they are, what they choose to follow, and what they choose to engage in. i know thats a hot take in some circles and that it doesnt always apply. for example, someone being bullied online didnt seek that out or attract is cause they deserve it. what i more so mean is that what u look for on here finds u. if u online shop, ur ads will reflect that. if u follow and obsess over ig models you will find more models to idolise and obsess over. if you deep dive into music, u will find more great music. and if u look for information, you will find more information (usually the kind u look for, sometimes the kind u didnt look for).

hby?

[single-malt-scotch]

me and my controversial topics will stay under the cut lol.

i know i blabbed lightly of this probably but obviously one of the things that put me off from mcyt for a few years was when the "rpf is bad" opinion started circling the internet more frequently, in tumblr's 2014-2016 toxic callout culture era. i think that era shifted YT fandoms as a whole and turned loads of ppl to presenting creators with their "characters" specifically (like i recall this early on w markiplier and jacksepticeye) and clarifying it often. but i find this all very amusing when 80% of the ppl dont actually play characters at all, and ppl are either just writing "rpf" or theyre just turned a creator into their own OCs. i think its sometimes just a way to not associate with the idea of rpf even if its like, right there.

like, the problem i think is that the majority of fans, namely the young teens that are the main audience, are very consumed by purity culture and being free of problematic interests in such a black and white way. i get it, i understand why you dont want to be associated with rpf. when i think of weird and uncomfortable rpf i think of.... fan fiction of the Beatles, or something. a band or a movie actor is someone we can easily define as "not a character" but... when it comes to mcyt, its a little more grey, because i know some of them goof around in games and do bits and exaggerate themselves.

and yet i still think its counter productive to get caught up in these woes, and to deny what exactly it means for something to be rpf, or have rpf elements. ironically i think the indulgence people have with making them characters worsens the parasocial/obsessive/skewed lens people have on creators these days. how? well its bc of how ppl get super attached to characters... comfort characters, kinning, etc. i love characters just an intensely, but when you apply this to a youtuber who like, doesnt actually play a character? even tho you wanna act like they do? .....there can definitely be issues in that and its def what makes me not get into the fandom as it is. you elevate them with your view of them as a character by being able to indulge in them way further bc they are kind of "yours" now. but also theyre not really.

but specifically back to the rpf vs not rpf topic- basically what i really intend to say is that like. there is harm in becoming too concerned over what youre writing bc you can fall into that mindset of being far too aware in a way thats just gonna make you feel terrible all the time (i experienced this myself when i was like 15 on tumblr and wanted to avoid any potential of touching something "problematic"). this post isnt to declare you are writing rpf, or you arent, or whatever the"rules" are about when it is or isnt, but just that theres always time to just accept shit as it is when the blurry lines arent actually doing any harm in this case. and that even trying to force yourself into the seemingly right direction doesnt exactly solve all the other problems either.

cuz i did all the things ppl would wanna call me out for and i dont care at this point. i wrote fan fiction where the guys where more characters than themselves, in a fantasy world for the server. but i also wrote fan fiction that was irl and based during minecon! and it was smut. and all i can say to that now is...ok. im not even gonna sit around and vehemently condemn it either? even if i never plan to do it again. cuz i dont see the need to punish my past self, nor do i see the reason to continue questioning the nuances of where the line between hard rpf and hard fiction lies with this bc its a never ending conversation. its just not worth my time to worry anymore. i know how to not be weird about it, i know my boundaries between creator and fan, i dont even get near the extent that some people do... i feel like im aware enough to feel like im not causing harm/can make logical choices when issues arise. i was a niave teenager before, and wrote such things with little thought, and had a much less healthy mindset about it! but the way the internet laid on the pressure of these strict definitions was the moment i felt shame, and as if i couldnt ever redeem myself from actions i understand far better now. its really not worth the stress and heartache to get so caught up in it.

[happyandticklish]

Whats your opinion on minor x adult pairings in fictional stories ? I’ve seen a few people say it’s okay because it’s just fake and their anime characters so it’s not causing harm bc it’s not real human beings ofc it’s weird to ship real ppl that are minor x adult bc that’s ILLEGAL and morally wrong but in fiction do you think it’s that bad ? please give your honest opinion

Okay, so, this might be a bit long, fair warning. Also, I'm giving my honest opinion here, which may or may not be the right one, so if you disagree with me, on either side, that's perfectly alright and valid of you.

In general, I believe most of it is relative. For instance, if someone shipped something like All Might and Deku, that's a bit odd on its own, cause obviously he's an adult and Deku's a kid. However, people do have the license to age up characters if they so please. Deku has a bit of an idol crush on All Might, and it wouldn't be too strange to assume that in a couple of years when he's 18-19, he might try to pursue something. Now, I don't personally ship that and see them as having more of a familial bond, but I'm not gonna hate on anyone who does.

I myself have written a fic for Masaomi Kida/Izaya Orihara from drrr. In the show, Izaya's around 27 and Masaomi is somewhere in high school. The fic that I wrote was a fic where years later Masaomi was revisiting the city and ran into Izaya, and discovered a bunch of latent feelings in himself towards the man. In the fic, everyone involved is over 18.

Not to mention the difference between 17 & 18 is one year, which isn't that long of a time relatively speaking. Someone who's 19 could date someone who's 18 and it would be fine, but if they tried to date someone who's 17, it would instantly get shut down, despite there being almost no difference in age or maturity.

Also, fictional characters aren't real. Now I'm not necessarily condoning shipping adults and minors in fiction, but at the end of the day, no harm is actually done, so there's no crime to actually report. If I wrote about murder, I'm not implying that I want to actually kill people, merely that I'm exploring the concept. This applies to a lot of fiction. It's difficult to break things down into black and white concepts, and I think a lot of these issues are more complicated than people are trying to make them out to be.

As for me, I don't personally give a shit. You think it's wrong to do so? Okay, that's totally fine. You think it's okay to ship it? Also a valid opinion. What I do give a shit about is persecuting either side for where they land on it. This is not a simple issue, and I don't think we should twist people's words and make them out to be villains callously, nor should we ignore people's concerns on the other side. Both sides have valid opinions.

So in conclusion, it really depends, but so long as no one is being a dick and nothing bad is happening irl, than I don't think we should be judging anyone for the things they're into.

[antiresperidoneclub]

i havent posted anything in awhile but happy pride month yall! and, very much in me fashion imma take this time ta make another informational post! this installment is called

why assimilation is overall harmful to the queer community + the damage of pseudo-right wing ideas spread thruout the trans community!

CW: queerphobia, transmedicalism, bl*ir wh*te, k*lvin g*rrah, violence against queer ppl.

so, where do we start?

assimilation, what is it?

assimilation is a deliberate effort made by a minority/ marginalized group to (instead of become free) join the majority/privledged, which is wildly more accesible ta abled nuerotypical cis white lgb folks.

now, how does that apply ta th queer community? before that, we hafta look at th stark distinction between th LGBT community and th QUEER community.

because sadly its now different

imma make this as short as possible but basically,

despite its intentions when it was formed decades ago, th LGBT communiy an th way it functions is percieved is different. case in point, th term LGBT has been heavily gentrified and commodified especially by corporations tryina sell it to non-lgbt audiences. youll notice a majority of LGBT voices an advocates are usually white cis lgb ppls or are assimilationists. th term LGBT aswell has been heavily diluted and decontexualized from its roots, such as fightin for rights wit riots an demonstrations, bein heavily tied wit black an indigenous liberation, socialist ideals and memorializing th struggle for our freedom. its also (as apart of its gentrification) is bein forced ta be more 'family friendly' in an effort of control an ta make cash off of us an further assimilate us.

the QUEER community is a somewhat niche nowadays as it sticks fairly close ta th original goals as th LGBT community once had. such as wantin an willin ta fight for liberation rather than succumb ta assimilation. its also seen as a threat as it directly challenges th authority (capitlism, cops/military, goverment, white supremacy, fascism) for its mistreatment an oppresion against queer ppl and other marginalized groups. if th LGBT community is th privledged assimilations that can be proffited off of, then th queer community is more alike 'outcasts' or 'rejects' that arent as palatable ta a cishet majority ie; trans women/ trans/queer ppls of colour, more radicalized queer folks, or those impoverished.

so, with that said, how has/does assimilation harm queer ppl?

as i said, assimilation is disspraportionatly accesible ta able-bodied, neurotypical, cis, non-poor white LGB ppls (shocker) meaning th majority of queer poc, trans people, impoverished, and diasbaled/neurodivergent folks get left behind and continuosly stomped on in an attempt ta eradicate us. and it should be noted theres 2 types of assimilation

1. forced assimilation; forced assimilation is where marginalized ppls thru cultural eradication/genocide r forced ta strip themselves of their identity an join th majority which results in oppresion, discrimination, an further erasure of th ppls themselves. this is heavily seen within th queer community wit th AIDS crisis where those who survived were later branded as 'brave' by th very system that sought their demise in th first place, leavin our community in shambles.

2. chosen assimilation; chosen assimilation is where usually a small group/ or a singular person will disregard their people in an a attempt ta be spared from oppresion or discrimination. in terms of queer ppl (especially trans folks) th main contendors r blair white, kalvin garrah, an buck angel. blair is a stellar example of attempted assimilation. she not only rejetcs, but constantly puts her own people on blast publicly ta her audince of white cishet conservatives an (more often than not) fascists. not only that but she deliberatly associates wit th very ppl who seek her erasure an oppresion in an assbackwards attempt at salvation. more concrete examples include 1. showin herself as 'one of th good ones' or 'normal' 2. acting as if shes cishet 3. constantly self-hating ta appease those mentioned above 4. spewing dangerous an misinormed rhetoric aimed at trans ppls which directly affects trans poc an non-passing trans women. next, kalvin garrah. i was gonna write a whole thing on him but instead ill (below) link copshatemoe's videos about him.

so, now that we know how assimilation both forced an personal harms queer ppls in general, what about trans ppls an th trans community?

transmedicalism and its disasterous effects towards the trans community.

transmedicalism is a belif system of sorts that follows ideals such as

beliving trans ppls must be suffering from dysphoria to be trans

a trans person must want to transition to be trans

being trans is a mental illness/ neurological condition/ birth defect cause by unbalanced horomone levels or th existence of "male and female brains"

belivies HRT or surgerys are a 'cure' for dysphoria/ 'transness'

that neopronouns or non-lesbian, gay, bisexual, or binary trans folks are invalid or 'wannabes' who see th "lgbt community as a club of sorts to join jus because"

borderline or blatant rascist, transmysoginistic, ableist rhetoric.

intentional or not, that assimilation is key an becomin 'as close ta bein cis as possible' is th goal of transition.

now, i could spend ages rantin about how these belifs are blatently wrong but however rather than disecting them lets jus go over th direct harm these belifs have caused th trans community.

lets start wit nonbinary folks. nowadays as ive seen transmedicalism has become more open ta acceptin nonbinary folks but regardless they were one of th first punchin bags. since bein nonbinary in any facet isnt exactly 'medically sustained' its already seen as bullshit, but past that it opens th gates for neoprounouns an non-convetional identitys. enby ppls would be attacked constantly or called "trenders" in an attempt ta discourage them from even existing. this 'highschool bully' type of mentality along wit th superiority complex behind transmedicalism created a stark divide between "normal" trans ppls an th "weirdo, faker" trans ppls. not only did these attacks further stigmatize an already oppresed minority but also forced ppl ta hide themselves from they own community ta avoid ridicule an bullying. this type of harrasment has left these ppls wit trauma an fear of they identity bein challenged not only online but also in IRL queer spaces while they already hafta stay hypervigilant around cis ppl, now it seems th same around binary trans folks. not only have nonbinary ppls have been impacted however, binary trans ppls were left wit insecurities, wonderin if they dysphoria is 'rlly that bad compared ta others' and worrying about things they usually didnt care about. probably th biggest of those is 'passing'. passing is th action of looking as cis as possible ta blend in an avoid general treatments sustained by cishet ppls. i as a transwomen was directly affected by this rhetoric which caused me years of my transition spent not becomin myself, but becomin as close ta a cis girl as possible. this lead me ta become embarresed by my own community also factored in by havin virtually no trans friends IRL. this was th shared experince of many binary trans folks an nonbinary trans folks i know an am friends with. in conclusion, transmedicalsim has not only ostrasized an traumatized queer folks, but has also left insecurities an damage ta binaty trans folks aswell.

so, with that in mind, how do we combat, well, all of this an much more?

liberation

liberation is th action of freeing a marginalized group from its oppresive chains. an how would this look/work for th queer community?

majority of cishet ppls think that queer liberation ended wit marriage equality but thats very much not true. multiple basic human freedoms have been stripped from not only cis lgb queers but also trans people aswell. rights such as affordable housing witout discrimination, medical options for trans people being completly accesible or downright free, safe spaces or areas where were able ta exist free of fear of persecution or discrimination, better healthcare treatment towards queer ppl, things sometimes neccisary ta ones transition bein more accesible such as name/document changes, and many more things. but remember, none of this is possible witout ingigenous liberation/land back, black liberation, or under capitlism

anyways, i have 0 way ta end this so happy pride month an a very happy juneteenth!! if ur black ur more than welcome ta leave any gofundmes, cashapps, venmos etc in th notes or reblogs!

also, if you have any additions or points/topics i shouldve made or covered pls reblog wit them!

-alexis

[iii9iii9iii9iii9-remade]

dreema can you summarize each of the signs for me, i want to learn more about astrology and i only trust you

I know the literal bare minimum abt astrology lmao I’m the worst to learn from I would ask @virgostellium she’s smart abt this stuff but imo purely based on my own experiences:

Cancer: I’m biased ofc but literally not the crybaby bitches everybody pins us as and some of the strongest ppl you’ll meet we’re also very in touch with our own emotions and the emotions of others which makes us the most clairvoyant out of the water signs I think. We can be a little selfish tho lol. We are also the cutest.

Scorpio: unfairly stereotyped as weird sex obsessed goth monsters most of them are the same as cancers just less outwardly emotional also not nearly as mysterious and cool as they think they are

Pisces: sweethearts just very very airheaded and a little like. dumb lmao idk y every Pisces I have ever met irl has been a dummy anyway they’re rlly beautiful ppl Pisces placements make for dreamy and big eyes like u can tell just by looking at someone if they’re a Pisces sun or rising it’s so charming and cute

Gemini: unfocused chaotic and way too loud also probably the funniest sign and the worst liars. Geminis are rlly big on loyalty and friendship I don’t get the whole two faced reputation they have. every Gemini I know would licherally kill for the ppl they’re close to. Also the most fun sign to talk shit with.

Libra: I think out of all the signs except Aquarius libra fulfills it’s stereotype the most cause every single one I’ve ever known irl is fake LMAO libras are scary cause the way their personality completely forms to whoever they’re with at any given moment like you swear they’re a different person altogether like…what’s ur real personality lmfao but I think that applies mostly to underdeveloped libras. Developed libras are just weirdos like Aquarius level weird.

Aquarius: I think aquas are basically just libras with the fake layer stripped off. They are weird weird ppl lmao but they own it and are completely unapologetic which is admirable. I just wish they would learn how to process emotions or feel a room so that every conversation with them wouldn’t feel like I’m talking to an alien.

Leo: 😪😪😪 this is mean but every leo I have known just has huge problems with insecurity and needing validation from others like…what is with y’all. If any sign deserves the crybaby label that cancer has its Leos. But then at the same time y’all r so prideful and narcissistic so it’s this endless cycle of being up ur own ass while simultaneously begging everyone to like you LMAO it’s a lot to deal with but I think out of all the fire sign leos have the most distinct and beautiful features like they all look radiant and put together

Aries: my fave fire sign all bad bitches all hilarious and confident and loyal and fun. wish they would get their anger issues together and learn some impulse control but overall a top tier sign

Sag: mean as hell for no reason between sags and aquas…y can y’all not pick up on social cues like a sag will insult you right to ur face and not even realize it. And then sags always got something to say abt somebody that did nothing to them like r u good. also yall are just always all over the place like sit tf down. One thing I like abt them tho is that they are very self assured and know who they are. Even if I don’t personally like who they are, at least they’re aware of it.

Virgos: I like them very dependable and responsible people and also are rlly pretty in the classical kind of way if that makes any sense. They’re a bunch of nags and extremely bossy tho every Virgo I know swears they’re my mother the way they tell me what to do like who asked.

Taurus: sexy top tier sign gorgeous immaculate perfect flawless bde I ❤️ them sm. idek what to say abt them I just like them a lot lol their only fault is their inability to accept blame in any situation.

Capricorn: caps are like leos without the crushing insecurity and over the top behavior to compensate for said insecurity they AIGHT just a little on the boring side I think

[acreaturecalledgreed]

I'm not saying many people aren't predisposed agaisnt redemption period, but the problem is that a lot of "redemption stories" don't come across as "anyone can heal and deserves a chance to be a better person" but as "nobody you like and are personally invested in can be all bad and needs to face consequence for what they do". Which, with so many abusers and predators being protected and things like cop brotherhood showing their nasty color IS deeply concerning to me.

okay i had to read this several times to pick up what you’re saying

not to go on a spiel but my redemption post was made months ago and dropping into my inbox to defend...idk being mad at redemption arcs? left me a little confused b/c i wasnt exactly on guard to defend my position

what you’re talking about isnt redemption narratives being a bad trope, its redemption narratives being written poorly

redemption is literally hinging on the acknowledgement that ppl did a bad thing. its not redeeming if the fact that they did a bad thing is never addressed. then it by definition isnt a redemption arc. 

obvs not every redemption arc is going to be written perfectly but people are going to have different impressions of what they’re saying and for ppl who that concept is important for

im going to be honest i think the take of “redemption arcs protect irl abusers and predators and are a cause of cop brotherhood” is an extremely reaching take 

im going to be honest im not even coherent enough to answer this very well but like my post said what my post said which is “redemption arcs arent bad just for being redemption arcs and also redemption is important to ppl” literally nowhere did it say or imply “people should protect predators and let them off scot free” and i really feel like you’re apply the least charitable read possible to it and i dont know if its b/c you’re in a hyper negative and suspicious mindset or if you’re just bored and trying to stir the shit but  i feel weirdly like you’re trying to indirectly accuse me of malicious intent i encourage you to take a step back and think why you had to message me about a months old post where i talked about how people pushing the idea of others reforming is morally reprehensible makes me extremely uncomfortable

i am an IMMENSE supporter of allowing ppl the access they need and the assistance they need to grow to be better and of moving our system away from a punitive one as best as possible. i literally think jails are a violation of human rights and that they shouldnt exist and instead should be replaced with social programs that help with reform.  im also a deeply flawed person who has done stupid, bad things and who has loved people who do stupid, bad things and knows that you yourself are literally to be a person who has done stupid, bad things b/c we all have of course people framing reformation arcs are morally wrong is something that concerns me

i am a random stranger on the internet that you dont know, sharing an opinion that is not inherently harmful, that happens to be one you don’t agree with

thats fine im not interested in a discussion on it im honestly too tired these days and too invested in taking care of my irl life to really want to get into a hot debate over narrative writing with an anon 

[kendrixtermina]

Typing Misadventures - IN edition

So, typing and the difficulties therein.

Aside from person-specific ad-hominems, some that have been elaborated upon in attempts to explain them on this very website.

Sensors: Bad Sensor descriptions written by NPs, combining with the fact that Sensors rely a lot on developing a practical experential “feel” for things. A bad, vague and overly abstract description that doesn’t relate to their life is gonna be not very useful. (especially for SFPs for whom what they relate to is srz bzness) - Interestingly I’ve seen a lot of Sensors saying that they easily indentify particular types once they have encountered them IRL. (Speculation: With intuitives it probably depends more on wether they have their definitrions straight.)

Ne-Doms: Type-hop and doubt their type alot because they know they always could be mistyped and possibilities are the primary facet of reality for them. The “creative” nature of the auxillary, and their auxillary being a function that generates and handles belief systems,  means they can always reinterpret the evidence by redoing their reasoning or reassigning meaning, also the lack of Si leads to less constancy in their thinking, they change opinion easily, which is normally an asset, but not so much for self-typing as every input generates new ideas. (The auxillaries also have this but to a much lesser degree - b/c)

—

But today, I want to talk about INs (I know, boring - but those are what I know the most about since I am one.)

You may have seen me caveat my posts with “Unless I am actually an xNFP or something” as of late Yeah. It went about like this:

Troll: Haha you’re mistyped!

Me: Why?

Troll: because X.

Me: I have an alternate, more fitting explanation for X and a lot of things which my current typing explains betters especially when you get into the nuance of mbti theory.

Troll: (*hamfistedly applies overreductionistic function definition*) “Anyone who ever quotes a source ever is a Te user”. Just like anyone who ever mentions memory is a SJ amirite?

Troll: *shifts the topic to my person and then accuses me of talking about myself*

Me: *blocks troll largely to curttail own tendency to waste time & energy with internet arguments*

So at my best,  I believe in not dismissing inconvenient PoVs and double-checking, and the main point of replying them was to leave an alternate opinion for future readers hence no point in continuing after that had been done.  

At my worst damn inf Fe makes it hard to ignore input even if I don’t believe it’s justified (except when it fails to pick them up - as inferior functions are wont to be its either sluggish or AHH with little inbetween. ) and that lil 8 fix of mine doesn’t want to “stand down quietly”.  

So I ask a few reasonable, knowledgeable, non-troll person, one of which said “Hm, could be, you anecdote alot which X type also does”

I believed this was better accounted for by simple ol’ Si and w4-self revealing tendencies, but, how could I know for sure? I never denied having a pronounced 4wing and fix, but I thought that sufficiently explaining their perceived discrepancies insofar as I found them consistent with reality and indeed all data collected so far. Too much would just be filed away as “inf Te” as a blanket term, the way any sign that [fan favorite character] is ST rather than INFJ is “inferior Se” though that supposed “inferior” is 80% of what she does and all moments claimed for F or N are the sort of situations where anyone would display emotion or philosophizing and what intuition they display is distinctly Ne instead. 

Like the proverbial man who dreamt of being a frog I couldn’t cast the doubt from my mind and went over reinterpreting my thought patterns throughout the day. How do I know I’m NOT X type? After all my idea of and criteria for type are based on the definitions I extracted from various mbti sources when first familiarzing myself with the topic… how do I know I understood it correctly? How can ANY human correctly understand a definition if they have to deduce/reconstruct/guess what the other meant with their own flawed mind?

(At this point the non-INs in the audience might be rolling their eyes)

I still thought my type made the most sense but the person, through trolling in that particular instance, was not alltogether clueless and had some good insights, and also, some ppl agreed with them (theres that Fe again) - I was pretty sure I was in the holographic-panomramic thinking style but I could be wrong,  thats a fairly rarely used concept which I simply started using cause I thought it made sense. ENFPs can mistake themselves for introverts. I have been mistaken for extrovert b/c of my lack of filter… but I was pretty sure I was a very pronouncedintrovert and had Fe, and so I went over it over and over again.

They said I didn’t comprehend _ i had some theory as to why they thought the way they did (not just bias against xNFPs but assuming all Ti is like aux Ti. After all, an introverted function as a dominant builds a framework and may be reluctant to accept or need time to withdraw when said framework clashes with reality to the point of needing a full revamping, purportedly resulting in a certain stubbornness particularly if it’s a Ji function.  )

but what if I really Didn’t comprehend? Then all my reasoning would be worthless! I dont think I have the skills of an INFP, but what if i misunderstood those? Was a lot of what I’d attributed to Ti just Ne? i thought I had rather typical Ti speech patterns (it was hard to unsee, like my brain used a highly predictable parsing alghorithm to make thoughts into words) but they disagreed and pointed to what they thought was Fi. 

I thought that despite all the differences introduced by  shared preferences and  there were differences between I and the Fi doms I knew. The 9 and the 6 were much more lowkey, non-confrontational than I and way more perceptive in line with how socionics describes Fi as the “Ethics of Relations” and how Nardi calls it an “Inner state of listening/reacting”; I mostly listen to the contents of someone’s words; I’d spot a liar by contradiction or unbeliavable statements, or by deducing what beliefs they are operating from. Feelers supposedly use primarily tone of voice... but I have sure noticed tone of voice a few times, and this is a qualia. I can’t compare what “Fi” or “Ti” feel like without making assumptions of which one I am using. 

Supposedly

The 4! INFPs should be the most similar to me, on the other hand, they tend to have a certain...absoluteness in their beliefs and statements in a way I wouldn’t be comfortable with. I’m more hesitant, more relativizing, adding qualifiers etc so bI don’t say anything incorrect. 

I don’t mean to bash the INFPs here, they are usually just processing their specific feels and do not mean to imply things about others. (Tumblr INFP: “I, an INFP, experience X.”. Tumblr xxFJ: “Are you saying that other types don’t????? You can’t say that! How self absorbed are you?” Immature  Tert Fe User:*distantly feels the same urge toward ,moral condemnation as FJ,but couldn’t care less if INFP offends anyone -  settles for calling them a snowflake instead. * TJs and Ti doms: *roll their eyes, half-assedly consider correcting whoever they disagree with but ultimately just keep scrolling*) Of course Team Fe sometimes has a point if the INFP in question is young and/or irresponsible. 

Example: 

One INFP 4w5: “I be those shallow fake bitches look down on you just because you don’t wear as much makeup. I don’t think anyone who wears makeup can be trusted, unless it’s like,halloween makeup or something like that, they’re just putting up fake faces to be popular.”

Me (let’s say, presumed INTP 5w4): “I dunno... Like I agree that those girls are shallow bitches,if they had spines, they wouldn’ perform arbitrary fake behavior just to be popular.* But not everyone is the same - maybe some people might just wear makeup because they like how it looks. The real problem is people being judged by arbitrary conventions on principle. What does is matter whether someone wears makeup or not? Its a made-up convention with no real reason.  It’s none of anyone’s business.”

* for the record I have since realized that there’s nothing bad about wanting to be popular as long as yopu dont harm anyone, and that for some people its genuinely what they want. I was, like,  13. Common (w)4 pitfall I guess. 

As you see both I and this middle school friend of mine are expressing 4-ish povs, but I used to think  the difference in our reasoning highlighted some differences. 

Granted this is more 5w4 vs 4w5 than necessarily Ti vs Fi,  Could just be the 5′s general disconnect toward action and desire to “know more first”. 

There are 5 INFPs. after all. Mostly sx 5s and as such differentiable from the relatively intense, dramatic sx 4 as long as you’re certain enough that they’re sx. Thinking about how to describe them. More second-guessing and ‘drifting’ than the 4 ones but like them in their analytical nature. A different kind of contemplative.  Still reasons distinctlylike an INFP - See, One of them was religious, for example, and I’m pretty sure an INTP would have had more posts about why they were religious or not, though it’s one of the types most likely to be a non-believer, the religious ones tend to have a theological bent and talk about the perfection and incomprehensibility of god, how god is totally logical etc. (Thomas Acquinas is a famous example) - their faith will be an ordered self-consistent system. A bit like that example of copernikus assuming the orbits must be perfectly circular because natture as he understood it would tend toward the most “perfect” forms. I’m not religious and I could likewise talk about that at lenght.

Arguments that convinced me:  “This is how these beliefs came from, not an actual god” and “If were made out of single celled organism who die all the time as shed skin cells, how would the rest of them dieing at once be different?” “Even if your religion is true that means many, if not all others are not. So at least all some must be myths. How is your “true” religion different from them?” 

Arguments made by famous Te-Fi users: “Occams Razor.” “We can’t disprove a giant sucker on the back of Pluto either, but its no reason to suppose one.”“Belief in god hampers human development and creates dependent, slavish mentality”

That 5!INFP’s attitude toward their belief reminded me more of another Fi dom I know (albeit an ISFP). “Yeah, I know the common objections, but look, it’s what I believe. Don’t come into my house and be a jerk to me about it.” or “[Assholish behavior] is not actually in line with my religion. My religion, and this aspect of it, are actually about love/peace/duty/etc” 

If, while conversing,  you hit a hard disagreement, that is,  an axiom that’s not up for debate, your Fi-dom friend may change the topic/agree to disagree/ “It’s just the way I feel” 

[This could apply to other moral or ideological questions religion is just an example; This is not supposed to be about religion it’s just here to illustrate a perceived difference. . I’m not implying all INFPs have the same approach to religion or even have to be religious.]

Another conversation I remember having with them actually on the very subject of Fi vs Fe. IDK how we got to that topic but I mentioned something I initially thought was an enneagram thing (my memory is vague on the details) but I mentioned something like lowkey feeling guilty for receiving praise that I believe was undeserved. 

She deemed it a Fe thing and said that for her, as a Fi dom/ fe opposing type, a bit of praise she did not agree with might not cause any reaction at all unless she thought they had a point  or otherwise had a reaction from her end, like deciding the criticism was unfair - why should she feel guilty b/c of what someone else says? 

Granted that’s just an anecdote, but what am I to do? INFP 5s are not super common. Also I’m not making this decisionbased on any single of these examples but... not even from the “preponderance” so much as to how they can be best explained. 

And  of course, if I really did get everything wrong after looking into the topic for years, what guarantee is there that I typed any of those people correctly? None, as one of the trolls/claimants correctly pointed out. 

After all what I want is the truth, it doesn’t matter what it is. Or at least that is what I strive for as much as human frailty allows. so what if I’m an INFP? INFPs are awesome. I even considered the type early on, I just thougnt INTP fit better especially once I found out about inferior functions.  And I have always held that a person has no obligation to follow their “talents”. If I don’t have a “talent” for reason (which isn’t the same as mbti thinking anyways) all the reasons why I believe that it is a good way of life to aim for would still stand. Reason is a method to correct for human error and bias, after all, the error and bias we all have, no matter what Ji function we use.

Type insofar as it can even be said to be a real thing is a classfication of emergent qualities, not a hard measure you can get in an instrument. 

As much as I’d want to figure this out, there comes a point where you just have to like step back and put it in context.  it’s just a personality test/ little tool to facilitate communication in which “maybe this or that” is more helpful than nothing. 

Striving for it despite not being handed talent at birth is all the more worthwhile - and if reason was only for certain kinds of people what’s the point of it? Regardless of what tropes people associate with “science” or “logic”, what they actually are by definition are simple basic methods.

Last but not least there was a moment

Soo, existential crisis. At least they can’t doubt that I’m a melancholic or an oldham ideosyncraticXD

Then,  my doubt crumbled away to the “ mostly sure, dont think it could be anything else but im not omnicient” levels at which it was before.

What happened? Well, a rare event:

Well, I went outside and talked to people.

I visited my folks, saw new places, got into a few unscripted situations in other words. 

I’ve seen one post detailing that INs may mistype because they analyze themselves as a whole, feature in less apparent traits and second-guess their reasoning worrying about bias, noticing what sticks out more than the norm etc.  and so on and that may be it in part but I don’t think it’s only this relatively “noble”, too-much-of-a-good-thing mistake.

- It’s a matter about how we are all about ~extrapolating~ from data and using multiple data points and less about decisiveness and practicality. We brood away endlessly trying to come up with interpretations and conceptualizations that makes all the data points fit rather than just going with what they themselves largely seem to suggest. 

One good description I once heard is that Intuitives think in networks while Sensors think in puzzle pieces - I went overboard trying to build ever more complex networks instead of going “Yeah, with all the puzzle pieces so far it’s probably this.”. 

Sometimes the latter approach can be incomplete and miss game changing interconnections - but just as often, the former gets convoluted and therefore, both uselessly vague and too far removed from the actual data its meant to interpret. 

Aaaand, well, almost every sentence I said was “Did you know that...?” or “I think so/ don’t think so because of [observation followed by possible deduction].

Sure, I could be biased in my observation or unconsciously “doing it on purpose to appear a certain way” even if I don’t think I am or care about that, , but some critical mass of “doing it on purpose” would itself be equivalent with 5 (or a 3)

I was a little afraid one time; I reacted by withdrawing and looking at the whole thing as an observatrion and it was a highly temporary thing. And as much as I complain about Fe users playing police, I may have been guilty of one moment of overreacting, unwanted/socially-chiding “help” myself there. (The person perhaps justly called me a know-it-all. They were wrong about one thing but I may have handled it all more constructively) I repeatedly expressed vague undifferentiated preferrences that were closer to analyzing what factors were at work rather than having clear like/dislike reasons readily available. .

I critiqued a TV show (myself and the local INTJ annoying all the non-NTs with our loud, animated critiquing ) and a big factor to being unabvle to enjoy it fully was the lack of High-Concept abstract sci fi content and mostly the lack of consistency - normally a lot of my enjoyment would come from extrapolatinmg and deducing what the world is like and how it, the themes and charactzers “work”, but here I coulnd do that because it was tacked onto a ‘verse it did not fit into. I observed how said INTJ and I reacted to us correcting each other on small things with like a brief thanks or apology & just moving on whilst similar things had gotten annoyed snarks out of our otherwise patient Feeler sister...

The nails in the coffin were those 2 tumblr posts, one about differences in how Fi and low Fe argue (the latter pile including 3 phrases I used verbatim in the last discussion with my SO just hours earlier) and a post by the afore mentioned “resonable poster” about, as she called it “oversharing in soc variants vs soc blinds” though the correct amount of sharing might well be in the eye of the beholder.

But that was the one objection of the troll I didn’t have a non-vague satisfactory reply to, what rly kept me wondering rather than “eh not gonna reinvent the wheel again”, something about “sp/sx woldn’t have long descriptions or emo rants” Apparently they do when they never have to dea with the person again (such as on the internets. )

IDK I did move the description so no one’s forced to read it but lots of peeps have one (This is like... a blogging site??) but the reasons for its existence had more to do with “completionist urges related to then-current obsession (typology)” and “So I like X, bite me.” sort of sentiment than whatever it was they presuposed. 

Dear Causal-Deterministic peeps (ENTP, INFP, ISTP, ESFP): Instances of the same behavior can be caused by different causes! Look at this: 2 4 8.

What’s the pattern? - Could be “powers of 4″.  Could also be “even numbers” or even “any increasing integer”. 

Of course this whole mess is an example of where we H-P folks (INTP, ENFP, ISFP, ESTP) look at everything from multiple angels/Povs, (”Is it like this? Is it lika that? It COULD be seen this other way...”) rather than, well, decide which ones are most relevant here/ “Pick one”. At least the SPs have Se to “just grab one” or whatever it is they do. 

Whereas we just stand there speculating XD The ENFPs sorta do it too but in a whole different way/ area of life? 

Me: “Either he is nuts or I am nuts because we can’t both be telling the truth!”

ENFP: “Well I empasize with both of you so I don’t think either of you is nuts?”

Me: Sorry but this is a real dichotomy here for once. If he dun nothing wrong, then I would be wrong for accusing him thus, just as he says..

ENFP: Can we all agree to disagree and chil maybe? plz??

Might also be why there`s this overlap between ENFPs and Universalists? Though obviously not all ENFPs are universalists and vice versa. 

So yeah. Kinda comical in hindsight. I started out all second guess-ey and entertaining both possibilities in parallel but in the end, well, I do think it’s INTP after all, at least, I’d say its the most probable by a considerable margin. Most definitely 5 tho. For all the occasionall 4 ness its by far the most overwhelming tendency in day to day life/thinking ugh cant I NOT spew nerd facts about everything in sight. What are other conversaton topics? 

Bottom Line: By thinking about your own thinking you alter your thinking, and that way lie 2nd order chaotic systems, the Uncertainty Principle and Goedel’s Theorem...

So going outside both threw me out of that recursion and added new, raw data as a means to test the competing hypotheses. It forced me to see what I actually act like by and large in a natural setting rather than the many ways I could interpret or read the way I act like, which like, is not actually all that mysterious lol

[academiix]

70 horrible questions

@mildlineurs​ thx for the tag nicole :p

01: do you have a good relationship with your parents? um i mean i guess but my mom is the epitome of Tiger Mom™

02: who did you last say “i love you” to? ummmm no one? idk i don’t really say i love u unless i’m fangirling (i nvr say ily to my parents cause in some chinese cultures it means ur not close to them)

03: do you regret anything? hell yeah way too many things (but its ok my life is fine rn)

04: are you insecure? yup but mostly about my looks and my future

05: what is your relationship status? like nicole im too busy shipping (chanbaek kaisoo hunhan) and fangirling

06: how do you want to die? probably in my sleep. but most importnatly i want to die remembered, in which the absence of my life doesn’t just pass with a blink of an eye. either i must have influenced people in some way, or achieve some sort of fame.

07: what did you last eat?

pineapples lol

08: played any sports? idk why this question is phased in past tense but i do a form of military-style dance (aka drill) and it counts as a varsity sport lmao

09: do you bite your nails? hmmm like a few times a yr?

10: when was your last physical fight? w my brother probably last month

11: do you like someone? besides fangirling (both over celebs and over attractive ppl n good debaters), nope! but i like my friends??

12: have you ever stayed up 48 hours? lol nope i’d die

13: do you hate anyone at the moment? hm not hate but definitely dislike

14: do you miss someone? yah i’ve been gone from home for 17 days now ;-;

15: have any pets? my fish died a while ago

16: how exactly are you feeling at the moment? tired, a temporary feeling of serenity, a tinge of ambitiousness

17: ever made out in the bathroom? nope

18: are you scared of spiders? if its not on me and if its not dark, then nah

19: would you go back in time if you were given the chance? if its not permanently, then why not? as long as i don’t change anything im good

20: where was the last place you snogged someone? in ‘murica we don’t use the term “snog”

21: what are your plans for this weekend? its already the weekend so stay up till 3am to prep for db8, then db8ing about deleuze & guattari and implementing a model of the la borde clinic through the poesis of db8 and education experimentation, cosmic artisans who erect a nomadic version of student subjectivity to eventually evisceration microfascism. confused? yeah me too

22: do you want to have kids? how many? um once i get over my fear of childbirth, then 1-2 kids

23: do you have piercings? how many? yeah my ears so 2 i guess

24: what is/are/were your best subject(s)? hm chemistry and ap world history

25: do you miss anyone from your past? sure

26: what are you craving right now? milk tea (without the bubbles)

27: have you ever broken someone’s heart? idk maybe? 

28: have you ever been cheated on? no but people do cheat off of my tests

29: have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? no and this q is also very hetero-normative

30: what’s irritating you right now? post modernism 

31: does somebody love you? myself 

32: what is your favourite colour? cyan, and pastel blue and pink!

33: do you have trust issues? im an open book

34: who/what was your last dream about? lol it was about one of my graduated seniors and shes scary irl but we became friends in my dream

35: who was the last person you cried in front of? LOL this is embarrassing but my friend when i found out that we didn’t get put in top lab

36: do you give out second chances too easily? not rly

37: is it easier to forgive or forget? they’re not mutually exclusive

38: is this year the best year of your life? it’s definitely a revolutionary year, but i think the best year was kindergarten

39: how old were you when you had your first kiss? my mom kissed me straight outta the womb

40: have you ever walked outside completely naked? technically inside is the outside of nature so yup

51: favourite food? BEIJING FRIED DUCK and ice cream

52: do you believe everything happens for a reason? um no some ppl r just dumb

53: what is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? scroll thru tumblr

54: is cheating ever okay? hmmmmmm if i said no i would be a hypocrite (sometimes i cheat on my bias and once per year maybe i’ll peak at a test)

55: are you mean? i prefer the term savage or aggressive

56: how many people have you fist fought? one (my brother)

57: do you believe in true love? yup

58: favourite weather? either snow (when theres no power outage) or sun!

59: do you like the snow? cross apply the answer above

60: do you wanna get married? yeah

61: is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? they’d have to be a lover or a really good (gay) friend

62: what makes you happy? exo, winning, good food, free time, a good book

63: would you change your name? nope i love my name

64: would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? idk last person i kissed was a poster so

65: your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? that already happened and i feel bad for him

66: do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? the person above

67: who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? someone in my db8 lab

68: who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? my best friend

69: do you believe in soulmates? yes but they’re like once in a century

70: is there anyone you would die for? not ONE person in particular...

tagging: @sprouht-studies @focusign @stvdybuddies @julstudies @rhubarbstudies @educatier @eruditekid

[redvelvct]

tagged by @kinghyojong thanks love💕

im just gonna tag some recent mutuals if u wanna do this @iluyeri @1pristin @smleflower @1wuju !!

name: kay blood type: idk nickname(s): kay is a nickname lmao zodiac sign: sagittarius pronouns: she/her favorite tv shows: atla, the simpsons, the office, parks and rec... long or short hair: long only cause i look ugly w/ short :/ height: 5′2 do you have a crush on someone: no what do you like about yourself: ?? right or left handed: right list of three favourite colors: purple, pink, blue

right now: eating: nothing drinking: water i’m about to: fuck off n not study for my exams that start next week :) listening to: nothing kids: i am a child what is this get married: gross career: ?? the fuck if i know

most recent: drink: water phone call: my mom song you listened to: whatever paramore’s new song is called (its good pls listen to it)

have you ever: dated someone twice: no been cheated on: no kissed someone and regretted it: no lost someone special: not really been depressed: i mean yea been drunk and thrown up: i literally only drink water kissed a stranger: no had glasses or contacts: yea had sex on the first date: no broken someone’s heart: prolly not turned someone down: no cried when someone died: no fallen for a friend: no

in the last year have you: made a new friend: i guess...? fallen out of love: does unstanning exo count laughed until you cried: yeah met someone who changed you: lol no found out who your true friends were: i dnt even have friends to begin with !!! found out someone was talking about you: uhh kind of ??? idk it wasnt bad but b4 some college decisions came out some ppl where like talking abt if me or this other girl were gonna get into this school n ppl said me over her even tho i didnt tell anyone this was where i was applying and yea i got in and she didnt adkljcnsdkj it just weirded me out cause ppl i dont rly know knew where my top school was and that they all were talking abt me and yeah this is prolly too long of an answer kissed someone on your fb list: dont have facebook

which is better: lips or eyes: i Do Not care hugs or kisses: hugs shorter or taller: same height romantic or spontaneous: dont care sensitive or loud: i mean i dont like loud ppl hookup or relationship: neither troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant i guess

first: best friend: :/ surgery: wisdom teeth sport i joined: ballet vacation: hawaii but i wasnt even a year old

do you believe in: yourself: no miracles: idk love at first sight: dont care heaven: ?

extras: how many people from your fb list do you know irl: no facebook do you have any pets: no :( do you want to change your name: i hate my name but idk what i wld change it to what did you do for your last birthday: tbh i dont rmr.... ik the one before that i worked ??? idk i dont celebrate what time did you wake up today: 6:00 what were you doing last night at midnight: sleeping something you can’t wait for: death last time you saw your mom: today what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: i wish i wasnt ugli lol have you ever talked to a person named tom: yeah what’s getting on your nerves: nothing rly