#cause I'm pretty terrified of the fandom
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"Be Yourself", says the Furry Fandom.
And yet, as with many things in life, it's far easier said than done.
I've found that 'being myself' can take a lot of bravery, but I want to tell you why it's so, so important.
Storytime!
At Eurofurence this year, I ran the e621 Gameshow for the third year in a row. And for the third year in a row, we were over capacity. As in, security-comes-in-to-tell-people-to-leave levels of over capacity (Which, my dear sympathies once again with those who had to go!)
We had a crowd that was there for an hour and a half of weird furry porn. Who cheered for horsecock. Who delighted in Falco Lombardi macro art. A hundred people - a quarter of the room - gleefully admitted to being into vore.
The atmosphere was electric, and I hadn't even needed my e-stim kit. This was a crowd who rejoiced in the adult side of the fandom!
And then I asked them - how many people had a fetish they'd be nervous admitting to?
A third of the room raised their hands.
In a room that had been laughing moments earlier about the amount of Mufasa/Simba porn, or getting a 100% success rate on guessing popular cock shapes, 1/3 of them weren't confident in revealing those same parts of themselves.
I don't think this is rare.
I've had folks ask me if I get hate for the kind of art I draw (not really much at all, by the way). But worse, I get people telling me - they wish they could draw what they want, write the characters they love… but they fear what others might say.
I've had commissioners remain anonymous, for fear of people knowing what they're into. Known artists start up alt accounts, so that they can draw a kink without their friends knowing. Writers wringing their hands over possible reactions to their stories.
And I would love to tell you it's all just fear - but truth is, it isn't.
Because it ain't just the big patron sites that are swinging the axe on the 'too weird'. Our own sites - our communities - sharpen their restrictions. Whole kinks, loving and accepted, are now 'too far'.
We're fearing the gaze from the outside. We're hearing their derision. And that can scare us, cause us to hide not just ourselves, but those around us. "What if they think that I'm into that? What would they say? I need to prove I'm not!"
We all crave love and acceptance. And in a fandom formed in rejection from society, don't we just hold such ideals even more tightly? So much so that the very idea of this same community throwing us out - for being ourselves? Of course it's terrifying.
But it turns out, even us outcasts, outsiders… we can all hold prejudices. We all have the ability to draw lines, and give too little thought to what that means. We can so easily turn our own opinions, our fear of what others think of us, into rules that hurt and exclude.
And therein lies the issue. "Be yourself", says the fandom, without stopping to consider how treacherous, how thorned that path can be. To be yourself, sometimes, is to suffer the disgust of those who would tell you to do it in the first place.
But… I'm missing something.
Thing is, this fandom isn't based on any one thing. We're not just here because Zootopia was a kinda cool movie, or Twokinds is pretty sexy, or StarFox looks good when he's fifteen stories tall.
We follow no one IP, no webcomic, no TV show. We follow only one thing:
Ourselves.
WE make the fandom we live in. We're dozens of sexualities, a hundred meetups and conventions, a thousand discord servers and Telegram channels, a million pictures and stories and alt-accounts and roleplays…
We decide what we are.
Aren't we the haven of the weird? The questioning of sexualities? The taboo, even incomprehensible kinks? We joke about vore, knots, gratuitous foot fetishists, but isn't that what makes this place home? Isn't every artist drawing obvious kink art following a beautiful legacy?
We are the monsterfuckers. The maw-obsessed, the paw-sluts, the musk-lovers (er, not that one). With every fetish we draw, every kink we commission, every smut-filled story and problematic character and taboo-laden roleplay…
We're the fandom, making ourselves.
Through being myself, through art and stories and chats and servers, I've found new communities. New friends. New ways to think, new art to enjoy. I've found love, deeper than I ever thought possible.
I've found myself.
And I've been told that through my artwork, stories, friend groups, I've helped people do the same. They've found the words to describe what's been inside them this whole time.
They've found they're not alone.
It's one of the sweetest and most delightful things I've heard.
Yes, it takes bravery to be yourself. You risk being misperceived, either accidentally or wilfully. You risk hurt. You risk confusion. But it's nothing you haven't done before. And in its wake, you will find yourself.
Do not let other people dictate who you are.
Do not let other people dictate who you are.
So when I say to keep furry weird, this is what I mean. Find that part of yourself that yearns to be free, and make this fandom the place for it.
Be yourself. Be so amazingly yourself that your very existence is an act of rebellion.
And Keep. Furry. Weird.
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wolfienation · 1 year ago
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some rhaenicent fic recommendations
grey ridge (ríl liatroma) by molter ( @molter-writes ) - married with kids; business drama; they’re sickeningly cute; arguably the best thing ive read in the fandom; 10 out of 10; read it like 6 times; if you haven’t read it dude what are you waiting for
ride the dragon (and do it quickly) by molter - the #roadtrip fix it 
love is complicated by molter - Alicent is an actress and Rhaenyra is her rich best friend; they idiots and they’re in love; Laena is featured and she is fed up
leaf and blade by molter  - it’s summer; they’re hiding their relationship; they’re teachers; and my all time favorite tag ‘harwin gets a whistle’ 
bodhrán beat by molter - read the tags. its by molter trust me its good.
cleopatra by dontaskmedude   - divergence from episode 4; Joffery does not die; Laenor and Rhaenyra do everything right; Alicent and Rhaenyra raise their kids together 
someone to watch me die by dontaskmedude  - this is just, this is just depressing; good but depressing; like if hurt/no comfort is your thing this is for you; it’s just so, so sad; kinda Alicent in chains/Rhaenyra half year queen era with some timeline tweaks but no happy ending; do not read this if you want them to be happy 
Untouchable by mylordshesacactus - young rhaenicent; if Aemma never died and if Alicent never married viserys; i love this story so much you dont get it
Blame it on Fate by Lumyart ( @lumyart ) - they’re rival co hosts; well, actually, they’re rival co hosts in Alicent’s mind; Rhaenyra is thoroughly enamored (as per usual) 
you don't know what love is (if you don't put up a fight) by tansymeadows - viserys manages to last a couple extra days and Rhaenyra returns after Alicent blinked her pretty brown eyes and said “you’ve only just arrived”
The Silver Queen and the Lady in Green by WanderingFan - idk how to explain this; honestly just read it; it’s really good; slow burn; like incredibly slow burn im on chapter 26 rn and they’ve only just become friends a couple chapters ago but god is it worth it 
is it too soon to do this yet ('cause I know it's delicate) by Arvedui - episode 1 divergence; it’s cute; they’re cute 
would it be enough (if i could never give you peace?) by Arvedui  - Jeyne Arryn my beloved; you and Laena would get along splendidly when it comes to these two nitwits ( i say with affection) 
Midnights Like This by pure_black_wings - based on Taylor’s album; college setting; slow burn
Duty and Sacrifice (A History of Rhaenyra the Blessed by Archmaester Gyldayn) by TheIronDragon10    (@theirondragonrants) - now when i say i love this story i mean i LOVE this story; if you ever wanted to know what the House of the Dragon looked like thoroughly united then LOOK NO FURTHER; top tier; it’s wonderful; it has angst, it has joy, it has family and sibling vibes, it has slow burn, it has pain and healing and love everything i could ever want from a realistic version of canon where my girls can be happy; emphasis on realistic because the irondragon does not pull any punches 
Cleaving to Rhaenyra by WanderingFan - another episode 4 divergence 
you’ve got your demons (darlin’ they all look like me) by geralehane    ( @geralehane ) - the reincarnation au 
lying (in the hollows of your heart) by wakesiren ( @wakesirens)  - read this for the last scene of chapter 3 and thank me later; update: READ THIS FOR CHAPTER FOUR AND THANK ME LATER
towers and dragons verse by beepboop (permanganato) - Alicent is one adorable nerd okay and Rhaenyra just loves her 
what is it good for? by bluebaric ( @viscountcrow ) - arranged marriage au; Rhaenyra is a war hero; Alicent is perpetually terrified for her life  
tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart by alphayamergo   ( @sydneysageivashkov ) - this was just, this was just hilarious; like picture Corlys and Otto snarling at each other from across the council room trying to convince Rhaenyra to marry either Alicent or Laena and that’s what this is
thine is the queendom by liadrell ( @lesbianalicent ) - this was an excellent read, really good character dive on alicent
Ember to Flame by CrowSaint (@ dayneonychus ) - intriguing concepts 
our shadow over the sea by queensmooting - sigh
Long Live Our Queens! by WanderingFan - they’re gonna kill their fathers and they’re gonna rule together and it’s gonna be great
blood in your mouth (I wish it was mine) by dontaskmedude - this made me shed some tears
Of Our Own Accord by 99bad_habits ( @99bad-habits ) - can’t wait to see how this turns out; canon divergence at 1x08; Viserys lives long enough and Rhaenyra returns on dragonback and our girls get to co-rule
and i'll still see it, until i die by irridescence - h e a r t b r e a k i n g; starts around the winter fever and goes backward from there
by choice by alicents - co-parenting rhaenicent my beloveds <3; family fluff told in segments in a non-linearly fashion; it's cute; they're cute; something to read while canon is breaking your heart
good luck, babe! by somebodytoundress ( @somebodytoundress )- based on the song by chappell roan; they're friends reconnecting after 10 years about to play lead love interests in a movie. give the song a listen and give the fic a read
am i making you feel sick? by  somebodytoundress - rhaenyra is a vampire. need i say more
fault lines by rogueorbit ( @rogueorbit ) - 1x08 canon divergence; rhaenyra returns on dragonback and her and alicent make peace; alicent plays otto like a fiddle while rhaenyra stands back and chants "i'm in love with you"
once more, to see you by Jazzfordshire ( @jazzfordshire ) - 2x03 canon compliant. takes place after their sept talk. bittersweet as hell. supercorp fans rejoice because jazz wrote it.
And in the Darkness, Hearts Aglow by mrdcai ( @mrdcai ) - #valyrianmagicbabies need i say more
Desire (I want to turn into you) by mrdcai - they're friends with benefits because they're fucking idiots
lately i've been crying (like a tall child) by noheteroexplanation ( @noheteroexplanation ) - this has one of the best characterizations of alicent i've ever read. it's told from her pov from the beginning of season 2 come forward with minor changes and goes into speculation for the rest of the show. heavy, heavy book spoilers.
it’s a craving, not a crush by BeastGirl2k14 - did someone say toxic modern au rhaenicent with some vampire action thrown in for fun? (alicent with a fang kink for the win)
Where love is elsewhere held and she lingered by koyuki_kazahana - alicent runs. rhaenyra runs after her. there are book spoilers in this.
there you go again by floodonthefloor ( @floodonthefloor ) - they're actors. they're childhood best friends. they were fuck buddies in uni and that really messed them up. they haven't spoken in years. they're now starring in a movie together. alicent kinda hates rhaenyra's guts but she still wants to jump her bones. trust me. it's good
try not to let go by floodonthefloor - they dated in uni. they broke up. and now they're back in each other's lives. that's gonna go well.
there’s more i just got tired so feel free to add your own; there are also other stories by these authors (Wandering, wakesiren, somebodytoundress, mrdcai to name a few) which I have not put here that are also enjoyable so you can check them out 
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yanxidarlings · 10 months ago
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hello !! I've been really interested in your "not slytherin" writing and i think i have reread it more than 20-ish times hahahah since it's really good and you're the reason why i am invested in all these fan characters (since i didnt see what their appeal was before reading your work).
and now speaking of it, I'm now thinking about a specific "what if?" scenario, and that is; what if the suffering the reader goes through becomes so much to the point it transforms them into an obscurial? they have pretty much oppressed all their emotions, all their negativity, for four years— and it broke them. and the angst would be so good for this. the reader would definitely be more than distrustful. they're afraid that since their name has already been burnt off their own family; they would soon be expelled or even worse taken into the ministry for how dangerous they are to the other students. and this would definitely up the yandere factor to another level. they're aware theyre at fault for most of the reader's suffering, and that a single trigger would cause them to burst but then they can't do a single fucking thing about it or else.
not a request, but it's something ive been thinking about for a long time now !! (I'm really new to the hp fandom and ur writing definitely made me want to read more into them so I'm glad i stumbled upon it suddenly ^^)
dude, broski, broskilenski, ur a wizard of some sort because HOW ELSE COULD YOU READ MY MIND
i was considering making the reader an obscurial (my favourite fanfiction trope by far) but hesitent incase it was too farfetched but I HAVE BEEN GIVEN A SIGN
was sitting on not slytherin aye p2 but this ask has given me the inspiration to write
so without further adieu, with compliments to the other not slytherin p2 ask
jaythes1mp asked:
Could you do a part two of your latest fic (at this time) — YANDERE SLYTHERIN BOYS: NOT SLYTHERIN, AYE?
Where all the sudden suffocating affection they’re showing him after years of tournament makes him leave Hogwarts because he’s so terrified. He knows they couldn’t have changed, since they’re still threatening anyone near him. But once news gets around to them that he’s leaving for good? How would they take the news? And if they learn that he’s been disowned from his family? Would that be a good or bad thing — because now they can’t arrange a marriage. And it would be harder to find him if he got out of their grasps.
Would they be forced to team up? Would they force him into an unbreakable vow or blood pact??
Please do my request, I’ll beg. Just ask, I will actually get on my knees and beg. 🙏🙏🙏🙏
i present
YANDERE SLYTHERIN BOYS: NOT SLYTHERIN, AYE? P2
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“remember, you have to do anything to be slytherin, no matter what it takes” draco's words replayed in m/n's head. he'd replayed that sentance so much it had become distorted, is that even what he said m/n thought to himself, watching the train pass by.
under his eyes were bags the size of boulders, he hadn't slept in days. not since..
"excuse me, sir" a voice rung in his head. m/n shook his head, he wanted it all to go away, go away, go away- "mister, i'm gonna have to ask you for ID" somesort of internal wiring within him snapped "GO AWAY" m/n screamed, finally turning to face to the person- man.. muggle police officer, that had been addressing him.
the officer moved back, taking a strange device off his uniform and speaking into it "i'm gonna need back-up, barkley" whilst the man was engaged, m/n made a run for it.
"GET BACK HERE YOUNG MAN" the police officer bellowed, chasing after the teenage boy.
running through, down the subway and onto the train tracks, the officer gave up the pursuit. sooner or later the boy would be run over by an oncoming train in the tunnels.
after running for who knows how long, m/n finally slowed to a walking pace. then he stopped. the sound of a horn filled his ears, the pitch black tunnel illuminated by the vehicles headlights. i
it was getting closer
m/n looked around, there was nowhere to go in the narrow tunnel
closer
tears filled his eyes, but instead of sobbing he began laughing, only to break out into a fit of sobs and then revert back to laughter.
it was too close
suddenly a BANG was heard as the train came to a stop, the tunnel filled with black mist, which had somehow crushed the head of the train.
it was not natural, it was.. dark magic.
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• it was on the front page of the daily prophet the next day 'OBSCURIAL SIGHTING IN SOUTH LONDON SUBWAY' obscurials were no common occurance, the last one was reported in the 1930's, new york.
• it wasn't a cured illness, no, the circumstances of it's development had simply become less common. children of all blood status' had access to education in order to facilitate their powers, and there were muggleborn programs across the world to ensure they did not develop one either.
• it had the ministry stumped. there were no leads on the obscurus, nor was a body found to sugget the outburst had caused the hosts death.
• albus dumbledore was no stranger to obscurials, he had lost so much to them, his sister, his nephew — but he knew well what power the host of one held. and the key role one could play in the coming war.
• which is why he had to find the obscurial before the ministry, or lord voldemort did.
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"i am not here to hurt you, m/n" the headmaster called out, slowly approaching the young wizard, who's wand was drawn. "what spell do you plan to use, child?" the older man chimed, it was no secret m/n l/n was never the best with applied magic, like he was with potions or magical creatures
m/n's wand arm shook, "petrificus totalus" upon speaking the words, his wand shot out a spell, of which dumbledore blocked. hitting into the ground, the concrete began to degrade.
terrified, m/n dropped his wand, eyes glassy and wide "i didn't- i have to go" he stuttered out
"there are people who will hurt you, who will use you as a weapon" dumbledore moved closer to the boy who was now shaking "i can help, you can help, you don't have to be the monster the obscurus compels you to be" they were now face to face, or beard to cheek, as m/n couldn't break his eyes away from the concrete.
when the boy nodded, the headmaster took his arm, and a loud POP sounded through the air.
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the next day, m/n attended breakfast as if he had not been missing for the past two weeks.
the headmaster had given him his own room under the guise of spacing issues, perhaps having an escape would make this year less hellish, or maybe spending too much time alone would exuberate his growing instability.
at least he could kill one of his tormenters without any witnesses now.
a couple people stared at him as he made his way to the great hall, lovegood had even greeted him. albeit she held the quibbler she had with her close to her chest.
"salazar!" he heard a familiar voice exclaim from behind him, arms wrapping around him "where have you been, l/n" he didn't like the way malfoy was looking at him, it was soft "i thought- i thought you had done something stup-"
m/n was quick to shove off malfoys embrace, rather roughly, before turning around to walk away.
he was pulled back, he now saw malfoys eyes were glassy, as if he was about to cry. what a baby, m/n thought, he wasn't listening to whatever bollocks was coming out malfoys mouth, instead he just glared "and i'm sorry if i was the reason-"
"malfoy, just go cry about this to the house elves, they get paid to care i don't"
and with that, m/n was off, ignoring zabini and nott who were staring at him as he shoved past.
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• as the days went by, his tormentors wouldn't leave him alone, but they weren't doing what they always had, they were being nice. which scared him even more. perhaps because niceness was so foreign or because he knew it had to be a ploy for their next big trick.
• he wanted to be left alone by them but there was no way out. they held him in chokeholds they called hugs and suffocated him with what they called kisses.
• they sat with him in class and one of them was always partnered up with him, but they just wanted to sabotage his grades, and get him expelled.
• they were no longer hostile towards him but towards each other, whenever one caught him with another, they'd fight each other with wits or fists.
• they dragged him to their dorm every night and drew sticks to decide who he would be stuck with for the night. he never slept those nights, they were just waiting for him to fall asleep so they could do something horrible.
• but he rarely ever slept at all these days, which is what contributed to the paranoia that led him to leaving.
• the only reason he stayed was for headmaster dumbledore, who had been attempting to help him learn to control the obscurus, to no avail. when the headmaster was outcast by the ministry, there was no reason to stay and wait to get caught for what he was.
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"do you understand your fault, mr l/n" the sickeningly sweet sound of umbridges voice filled his ears, it was more painful than the cuts inflicted on him by the quill he had been forced to write with.
blood was trickling down to the floor, the words that he had been made to write indecipherable, covered in the blood they had drawn. "i must not disrespect the high inquisitor" he uttered, teeth clenched.
"i don't think you understand, mr l/n, twenty more lines"
he remained still, staring at the blood on the carpet, then at the decorative plates embeded with cats, and then at umbridges face.
"i quit"
"pardon, mr l/n?"
m/n stood up out of his chair, dropping the quill on the floor "i'm leaving hogwarts" he threw his wand on the table he had been forced to maim himself at, before storming out of the room.
• the news soon reached the slytherins that their beloved m/n had left the school, leaving them bewildered.
• when draco tried to find the reader by having his father get in contact with the l/n's, it finally hit them that m/n had been disowned, rendering their previous efforts to keep him useless.
BLAISE ZABINI
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• blaise is probably the most crushed. his entire plan involved arranging a marriage with the reader, which was now impossible. but what upsets him more is that m/n never even told him. five months and not one mention of being disowned.
• he's mad at the reader until he comes to know the reason for the reader being disowened - because of all he and the other slytherins had done to make it seem like he was a blood traitor.
• blaise hated himself for being a part of it all, but above all, he hated the other slytherins for starting it all. it was draco's fault they all started tormenting him, it was mattheos fault they took it to the extreme.
DRACO MALFOY
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• draco had his suspicions from the moment m/n returned, his father had mentioned in passing about the l/n's and how dissapointed they were in their son. but it usually ended in lucius praising draco for being such a good son, so he had never paid it much mind.
• it was his fault, he knew it. he hated feeling powerless but that's what he felt as his father told him m/n hadn't gone back home. m/n didn't have a home. he could be out there all on his own, exposed to the dangers of the muggle world..
• his obsession only grew after m/n left hogwarts, every moment of every day he wondered where he was, if he was okay, if he was with anyone. if he was with anyone he'd end them.
LORENZO BERKSHIRE
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• enzo had been told by his parents a few months ago they were unable to arrange a marriage because m/n had been disowned. not that he told anyone else, let them think they have him whilst lorenzo makes m/n fall in love with him.
• except his every advance was met with rejection or hostility. and when m/n left for good he was devastated, how were they supposed to live out their love story now?
• lorenzo confronts the other slytherins when the news m/n had left reached them, which is what led to the realization that they were all sickly obsessed with the ravenclaw.
MATTHEO RIDDLE
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• something had been strange about m/n the moment he returned, mattheo saw it in his eyes. whether it was what he had gone through the previous years still haunting him, or something else, mattheo tries to get m/n to talk to him, but he's.. mattheo, who once broke m/n's ribcage from beating him.
• it was impossible to foster any trust no matter what he did. he tries to talk about his own struggles, his cruel father and upbringing. he tries to treat m/n like a porcelain doll, but the walls never go down.
• hell hath no rage like a riddle scorned, mattheo would have killed umbridge if tom hadn't stopped him. but he wasn't done with just her, the l/n's were next on his path of rage, and there was little anyone could do to stop him from inflicting a painful death on them
THEODORE NOTT
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• theo could barely handle m/n's reluctance to warm up to him, it took every bit of strength in him not to yell and force m/n into opening up, accepting his affection, but m/n not being there at all? theo goes off the rails.
• he fears the worst, what if.. m/n.. theo thinks to himself every moment he's not thinking about how to get him back. when draco tells him m/n was disowned, he broke down crying in the bathroom when he was alone later.
• the world was not safe for a young wizard with no wand or money. what if the dark lord went after him for being a blood traitor. theo went with mattheo to threaten umbridge, and figure out where m/n would have gone.
TOM RIDDLE
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• tom could see all the pain m/n was going through when he used legilimency on him. he saw the abuse, the torment, the self hatred, and he knew what the reader had been through and become.
• he's furious that m/n's own parents would disown him, as if he was disposable. it reminded him too much of his own father. but he puts his emotions aside to focus on what really mattered, finding and keeping m/n.
• tom was the only one who had figured out m/n's condition, and used it to his advantage, telling his father that the reader was the obscurus the ministry had been looking for, making m/n voldemorts new target for capture.
tracking down an obscurial was not as simple as the dark lord had anticipated it to be, which is why he delegated the task to his eldest son who had first hand experience with the boy, m/n l/n.
coming to a stop as the sight of the boy filled tom vision, the young death eater watched as m/n stared down his reflection in the water. tom slowly came closer, wand at the ready, until his own reflection revealed his presence.
"you look horrible" the boy turned to face tom as he spoke "you here to kill me, riddle?" m/n sounded resigned, like he had already accepted it.
but that was not what tom was there for. "the dark lord wants you within his ranks" tom stated, avoiding m/n's dead gaze. "what the dark lord wants does not concern me" m/n took a step back, he was scared, tom could tell.
"are you going to make this difficult for me, m/n?" tom took a step closer, snaking an arm around the males waist.
before m/n had the chance to try and stab him in the eye with his own wand, tom stunned him, knocking him out, as lord voldemort came out of the shadows "well done, son" tom looked down at m/n's unconscious face as they apparated. you'll love me oneday.
• the readers condition certainly complicates things for the slytherins, it's no longer simply just subjugate him whether he likes it or not, the readers stability is the difference between life or death, freedom or azkaban for them.
• he becomes the dark lords puppet project, a weapon to use against the order of the phoenix and a tool to keep the future of the death eaters loyal.
• he never returns to hogwarts, tom made sure he was outted as the obscurial so that he'd never have anywhere to run, everywhere he could go he would be seen as a threat, a monster.
• an all-out war breaks out bewteen the slytherins once they have the reader in their grasp again. no one is willing to relent, m/n belongs to them. not the others, them.
• the slytherins would slowly come to the realisation there was no single 'winner', none of them could ever have a normal life with him now the dark lord was back and he had developed an obscurus.
• instead the focus would switch into keeping m/n safe, from voldemort, from himself, from the ministry, from everything.
TOM RIDDLE
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• out of all of them, tom can handle m/n's obscurus the best. mostly because he's level headed enough not to set him off. sure he has some sadistic tendencies but at the cost of his own, and surrounding lives?
• tom's obsession was exuberated by the obscurus, it made his darling all the more appealing. to hold such power over someone so powerful is what drives him to sometimes provoke the obscurus, to see what potential m/n truly holds.
• sometimes he goes to far and gets someone or himself seriously injured. he wants to help his darling learn to control the obscurus, but it's hard to acheive when he himself also wants to control his darling.
THEODORE NOTT
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• theo is frankly horrified when he finds out m/n had developed an obscurus. he had only ever heard stories about obscurials dying young, after an outburst they can't control.
• he wonders how long m/n had suffered with it for. in the back of his mind, he hopes it was before hogwarts, or else he truly was an absolute piece of shit, to help torment the one he loves most into such a despairful illness.
• theo spends the time he's not with his darling searching through the old pureblood libraries for even a hint of a cure. he wanted to be with his darling forever, but the oldest obscurial only ever lived until 23. theo won't stop until he can figure out how to get rid of the obscurus.
MATTHEO RIDDLE
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• mattheo knows he's most likely the reason, above all the other slytherins, for the readers affliction. he was the one who chased him into dark hallways and used the torture curse, the one who said the nastiest things, the one who went the furthest with the torment.
• he wishes he could take all his darlings pain away. because one wrong word, one accidental touch, could send him over the edge. a world without his darling is what scares him the most, above everything fucked up in the wizarding world.
• so he treats m/n like a single bump would shatter him. it's difficult, mattheo isn't exactly the super soft type, but he tries, he knows if any of the slytherins caught m/n looking upset around him they'd end him.
LORENZO BERKSHIRE
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• enzo underestimates the readers condition, until he finally see's it for himself one day when snape had called m/n a freak, and he exploded. safe to say, it terrified enzo.
• he's under the impression that if he loves m/n enough, the obscurus will go away. deep down he knows it won't, but it helps him justify the heap of affection he doses his darling in. his heart breaks when he's pushed away and he knows pushing back could result in the worst.
• lorenzo is the readers number one caretaker. he always reminds them to eat and get sleep and not to stress about anything. he tries to treat them as normally as possible but it gets difficult when the obscurus mentality kicks in and m/n starts talking about killing them all.
DRACO MALFOY
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• draco isn't quite sure how to approach his dear darling after finding out he's an obscurial. draco is overcome with guilt for the hand he had in it, and abominably frustrated he can't just force the reader into doing what he wants.
• when he becomes a death eater he begins to fear for his darlings safety, he hears what the dark lord says about his plans including m/n, and it scares him. there's no regard for m/n's safety or survival, the dark lords only goal is to set m/n off when he takes hogwarts for a quick and easy victory.
• draco tries to get closer to m/n by playing the dependent rich boy, who doesn't know how to do anything for himself. draco figures that if m/n starts to feel responsible for him, it'll be harder for him to leave or say no.
BLAISE ZABINI
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• blaises mother told him to stay far away from m/n when she found out. if it were anyone else he would take her advice, but this was his darling, and he could never abandon him over a small imperfection.
• he's the easiest to be around among them all, he doesn't feel the need to always been touching or talking to the reader which is usually what sets him off.
• blaise tries to help m/n settle back into normal life (normal meaning non socially isolated endlessly tormented), but years of torment has taken it's toll in more ways than one. sometimes m/n will accuse blaise and the others of the strangest things, but they all have to take it in stride, or else risk an outburst.
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caligvlasaqvarivm · 5 months ago
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I know you've touched on it in your Gamzee Essay/general alternative timeline post but may I hear some more about your ideas regarding GamTav (or only Tavros)? You get these two in a way the broader fandom doesn't (which is fine, I'll still reblog even the most vanilla ooc art of them) so I'd really love hearing more of your thoughts:3
Ok, I think this is going to be someeewhat controversial, but I think they're destined for pale together, despite Gamzee's initial flushed flirting. I did in fact reread ALL of Tavros's logs for this.
I think the first thing we need to establish is that Tavros actually feels really shitty about himself. It's obvious that his problem is "self-esteem," since he's constantly prattling on about it, but there's a bit he says as Tavrossprite that's pretty enlightening as to where his actions stem from:
TAVROSPRITE: i SYMPATHIZE ENTIRELY WITH YOUR SOCIAL IMPASSE, cAUSING NOT GOOD REFLECTIONS ABOUT YOURSELF, tHAT MAYBE ALSO DOUBLE AS LIBERATING STUFF ABOUT YOU THAT YOU RANDOMLY DECIDE IS FINE SUDDENLY, TAVROSPRITE: oLD ACQUAINTANCES, aND GUYS YOU ONCE CALLED FRIENDS, TAVROSPRITE: tHOSE ARE VERY HARD, TAVROSPRITE: bECAUSE OVER TIME THEY GET EXPOSED TOO MUCH, tO ALL MY FLAWS AND INSECURITIES, TAVROSPRITE: aND THEY START LIKING ME LESS BECAUSE OF THAT, TAVROSPRITE: aT LEAST, tHAT'S HOW THE TRUTH FEELS, iN MY BRAIN, TAVROSPRITE: sO i START THINKING, mAYBE THEY CAN'T BE THAT IMPORTANT TO ME, aFTER ALL, iF i'M GOING TO WANT TO FEEL NOT SAD ABOUT MYSELF ALL THE TIME,
He has a mixture of self-loathing and social anxiety, the latter of which exacerbates the former, as his mind tells him that his friends secretly hate him. However, his real problem is what he then does with those feelings - he avoids them and the situations that cause them. This causes two major knock-on effects: the first is that he actively ends up distancing himself from people who ARE nice to him and DO care about him, only adventuring with Vriska because he's a pushover and she's very pushy (he adventures completely alone up until that point, and winds up sleeping almost all the time afterwards); the second being that, because he refuses to actually sit with and address his negative feelings about himself (or anything else), he's never able to fix them, or remove himself from shitty situations.
Something consistent with Tavros is that every time he tries to make a decision before his death and Vriska-prototyping, it's by trying to rely on something external - whether that's his imaginary friend, his robot legs, or the story of Pupa Pan... or relying on advice from Kanaya, or seeking approval and forgiveness from Vriska, or earning flushed interest from Jade. He believes himself to be deeply flawed and untrustworthy, so he allows other people to make his decisions, and when relationships do get intimate enough that someone might get him vulnerable, he peaces out. Even his ill-fated attempt to kill Vriska is heavily encouraged by Vriska herself:
AT: aND THAT BEING THE CASE, AT: eVEN THOUGH i'M TERRIFIED OF YOU, AT: aND nOT AS STRONG, AT: oR REAL CONFIDENT, AT: oNLY MOSTLY FAKE CONFIDENT, AG: Yeeeeeeees? AG: Go on. AT: i THINK, AT: i AM GOING TO HAVE TO STOP YOU, AG: Yeah! That's the spirit. AG: Pretty weakslime threat there, 8ut it's a start. AG: Tell you what. AG: If you can find me in this la8, you can have at me. AG: I'll even give you a free shot! No funny 8usiness or anything. AT: oK, AT: tHEN, AT: hERE i COME, AG: I'll 8e w8ing. <3
As we see with Jade, whom he's attempting to flirt with flushed, he's actively trying to impress her using "self-esteems" explicitly gained from "fake" things he's acknowledging as fake - that is, refusing to be genuine and vulnerable with her, because he doesn't believe anyone would like him the way he actually is.
AT: bUT WHAT ABOUT, AT: mY ATTRACTIVE BRAVADO, AT: aND IGNORING MY INSTINCTUAL COWARDICE HARD ENOUGH TO SAY THAT i LIKE YOU, AT: iSN'T THAT, AT: sUPPOSED TO BE VERY ATTRACTIVE, aND ENCOURAGE THE MAJOR HAVING OF FLUSHED FEELINGS IN OTHERS, AT: i GUESS WHAT i MEAN IS, wHAT ABOUT ALL MY CONFIDENCE, AT: wHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT,
His "dating" Vriska in the dream bubbles is also dubious and one-sided at best, as John calls him out for faking it and Tavros isn't willing to bring up wanting the Ring of Life because he was planning to propose to Vriska. Thus, once more, he's attempting to use something disingenuous (in this case, a human proposal) to win another person's affection, which he believes would be a symbol of actualizing his "self-esteem".
We also literally see him do the "deciding someone wasn't actually important to you after all, so it hurts less when you cut them off before they can hurt you emotionally by noticing your flaws" thing with Nepeta - he actually quite likes Nepeta, and would certainly have enjoyed having her play the game with him, but he assures her that it's not a big deal basically immediately, and insists he'll just find someone else:
AC: :33 < tavros im sorry i cant be on your team :(( AC: :33 < im not allowed AT: oH, AT: tHAT'S OKAY, AT: tHEN i GUESS HE SAID NO, tHEN, ... AC: :33 < hmm purrhaps AC: :33 < but i still f33l bad AT: i'LL FIND ANOTHER PLAYER, iT'S NOT A BIG DEAL, AT: gOOD LUCK, bEING, AT: oN THE BLUE TEAM, AC: :33 < ok thanks :((
But, perhaps most strikingly, is the way he leaves his good friend Gamzee on read after Gamzee suggests... gasp... intimacy.
TC: WhEn wE Up aNd sTaRt tO KiCk aT ThIs rEd TeAm NoIsE, TC: YoU ShOuLd mAkE YoUr wAy tO GeT YoUr hAnG On aT My hIvE. AT: oH, yES, tOTALLY, TC: We cOuLd sPlIt a tIn oF ThE PiMpEsT SnEeZe i gOt oN HaNd, BaKeD Up aLl sPeCiAl fOr yOu. TC: AnD ThEn mAyBe mAkE OuT A LiTtLe. AT: uH, TC: ;o) AT: , AT: ,,
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It freaks him out, and he's never seen hanging with Gamzee again. And this is a huge shame, because not only is Tavros one of the only people who is nice to Gamzee and appreciates his religious beliefs, but Gamzee is one of the only people who hears out Tavros's genuine insecurities and desires without making fun of him:
AT: tHE ONLY THING MORE FLY THAN THE RHYMES, AT: i'M SAYING TO EXPRESS ALL MY MALICES, AT: iS THE ABILITY HE HAD i WISH WAS MINE, AT: iNSTEAD OF i GUESS, THIS EXCESSIVE PARALYSIS, TC: (lOoK OuT FoR ThE HoOk bRo!!!) TC: GeT OfFa tHoSe wHeElS, gEt oFfA ThOsE WhEeLs. TC: If mIrAcLeS ArEn't fAkE He'lL GeT OfFa tHoSe wHeElS! AT: bUT HIGH, iN THIS CASE, hAS DOUBLE THE MEANING, AT: iT MEANS HE CAN FLY, pLUS DOES HIGH SELF ESTEEMING, AT: tHAT'S TWO THINGS HE HAS, tHAT i'D RATHER WERE MINE, AT: hIS TWO FLAPPY WINGS, aND hIS BIG HEALTHY SPINE, AT: oOPS, AT: tHAT'S THREE THINGS,,, TC: GeT OfFa tHoSe wHeElS, gEt oFfA ThOsE WhEeLs. TC: If mIrAcLeS ArEn't fAkE He'lL GeT OfFa tHoSe wHeElS!
(Compare:)
PAT: i'M SORT OF, lYING ON vRISKA'S FLOOR RIGHT NOW, PAT: lIKE, iN HER BLOCK, PAT: lYING DOWN, PAT: uHH, yOU KNOW, bECAUSE i CAN'T WALK, CCG: OH NO SHIT REALLY??? CCG: YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS, WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN.
He isn't able to do a REAL self-confidence at least until he gives Vriska the bird and flies away, for the first time asserting that he thinks she's an asshole and doesn't actually want or need her validation or approval. After that, he's able to convince a ghost army to follow him using friendship and asking and niceness. Breath powers! Also Page powers! Also actual self-esteems! Although I don't personally hold anything after Game Over as anything more than soft canon, I think we can still see a fairly straightforward character arc reach a natural conclusion there.
But as to why I specifically think him and Gamzee are destined for pale, despite what appears to be flushed leanings from Gamzee's end, and despite the fact that I usually believe what the comic tells me, is because what brief few interactions we see between them are very much pale in nature, and it would be kind of narratively bizarre if Gamzee were set up to have a failed moirallegiance - the quadrant described as "soul mates" - without managing to find his real soul mate after. And who's it going to be? Equius? Or the guy that Gamzee literally says he feels "at chill with" talking to?
Gamzee kissing Tavros's corpse is often used as evidence for his desire for flushed, but I disagree - however Gamzee feels about Tavros romantically, kissing a dead player is how you revive them, so it reads to me - especially given how sad Gamzee is about Tavros dying - more like a desperate act to bring him back. Lest we forget, Terezi also gives it a try, and Karkat kisses Kanaya for the same reason - the reality that their extra lives are gone hasn't sunk in yet for these 13 year old kids, so they must try revival even if they know it won't work.
Moreover, Gamzee indirectly describes Tavros as his "best friend," after having called Karkat that through most of the game, and having an implied pale crush on Karkat during that time.
TC: YOU MOTHER FUCKING KNOW, BROTHER. TC: its the fuckin puppet. TC: THE ONE THAT'S ALL GOT TO BE MY BEST FUCKING FRIEND I GOT NOW. TC: now that my other buddy managed to be having his head chopped off. :oC
Moreover moreover, what Karkat cites as being the cause of their moirallegiance's failure is Gamzee's religious beliefs:
KARKAT: HE STARTED GETTING SO UNBELIEVABLY SELF SATISFIED AND PIOUS, LIKE WAY MORE THAN HE EVER WAS BEFORE. KARKAT: LIKE HE'S JUST SO COMPLETELY CONVINCED HE'S FOUND HIS CALLING, THAT THIS SESSION IS THE GATEWAY TO THE PROMISED LAND WHERE HE'LL FULFILL HIS DESTINY. KARKAT: HE'S SO CAUGHT UP IN HIS IDIOTIC SCHEMES HE COULDN'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ME ANYMORE.
Which are explicitly what Tavros invites Gamzee to speak on, and appreciates:
AT: yEAHHH, yOU CAN TALK ABOUT THE CLOWN THINGS, wHICH, AT: i DON'T REALLY UNDERSTAND EVER, bUT THAT'S OKAY, AT: bECAUSE IT'S KIND OF FUNNY, AT: wHEREAS, i'LL ADDRESS SOME TOPICS PERTAINING TO MY INTERESTS, AT: aND i GUESS, pERSONAL MOTIFS, TC: YeAh! FuCk YeAh, ThAt Be HoW sHiT's AlL uSuAlLy Up AnD fUcKiN lOcKeD bRo. ... AT: dO YOU HAVE TIME FOR, mY MIRACLES, rELIGIOUS FRIEND, }:) TC: Do yOu gEt yOuR NoTiCe oN Of tHe mIrAcLeS AT: sO MANY, uH, gRATUITOUS EXPLETIVE, mIRACLES, tHE MAGIC MOTHER, aLSO eXPLETIVE, mIRACLES, TC: FuCk yEs, HeReS WhErE ThE SlAm tUrNs tO NoThIn bUt hOnKs... TC: HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk TC: HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk hOnK HoNk AT: HONK, TC: FuUuUuUuUuUuUuUuUuCk! AT: iT'S LESS APPROPRIATE FOR ME TO DO THE HONKS, tHAN YOU, bUT THAT WAS STILL GREAT, TC: YeAh, BrO. yEaH!!! AT: tHE SLAMS WERE TRULY PRIME, aND, AT: yOUR RELIGIOUS VIEWS, tHOUGH i DON'T SHARE THEM, aRE, AT: rEASONABLY INSPIRATIONAL, AT: i THINK i'M IN THE PROCESS OF RELEASING AT LEAST ONE TEAR,
But also in Tavros's single conversation with Gamzee, we see Tavros stand up to a highblood:
TC: :o) HoNkHoNkHoNkHoNkHoNk AT: }:o), hEH, TC: hAhAh FuUuUuCk, YoU sToLe My FuCkIn NoSe BrO! TC: WhAt GoT yOu EvEn Up ThE gUmPtIoN tO aLl FuCkIn Do ThE sHiT lIkE tHaT? AT: eRR, i DON'T KNOW, iT'S JUST, AT: kIND OF THE OBVIOUS THING TO DO, AT: sTICK THE CIRCLE IN FRONT OF THE DOTS, aND, bEHIND THE BENDY ONE, AT: pLUS, oH YEAH, mY HORNS, TC: hAhAhAhA. AT: mAYBE WE CAN SLAM ABOUT IT, ... TC: fUuUuCk, So FuCkIn FrEsH. TC: YoU nEeD tO bE sLaPpEd FuCkIn SiLlY wItH a MoUtH lIkE tHaT! hAhA. AT: aND, iF YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH IT, AT: tHEN i SUGGEST YOU GO AND RAP IT DUDE,
He feels safe with Gamzee, enough to take a bit of an attitude with him, enough to open up about his insecurities about his disability and how much he wishes he was like Pupa Pan, and Gamzee explicitly states he feels calm when he talks to Tavros, which is the stated function of a moirallegiance.
TC: Me tOo, BrO, yOu mOtHeR FuCkIn kNoW ThErE Be sOmE Of mY EyE's RoYaL JeLlY To gO WiTh yOuR EmOtIoNaL pEaNuT BuTtEr. AT: wHOA, aHA, hA, TC: ThIs iS BeAuTiFuL, dUdE, i fEeL So aT ChIlL WiTh yOu. AT: yEAH, fRIENDLINESS WITH YOU IS, pRETTY MUCH ALWAYS NICE, aND FUN TO HAVE,
And the thing is, trolls are constantly getting into moirallegiances when they want to be flushed (Eridan, Kanaya), having palecrushes when they want to be friends (Gamzee), and winding up flushed with their moirail (pale solfef is forshadowed in the same breath as pale erikar, and they don't seem to confirm a matespritship until after Sollux's actual flushed crush, Aradia, explodes). Especially for Gamzee, who was neglected by his lusus and struggles with social interaction to the point where he feels like he has to hide his real self (casteist beliefs, constant talk of religion and murder, which, by the way, come out when he talks to Tavros), it'd be easy for him to mistake the "instinctive attraction" of moirallegiance for the passions of matespritship.
These thoughts are all pretty disorganized - I'm really sorry, it's super late/early for me and I'm exhausted for other reasons - but I hope that that . was what you wanted? hahah
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jess-the-vampire · 2 years ago
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I genuinely don't understand the gripes a few people have with how Belos was handled in the finale. "Dont just brush him off as being evil" Well, why the fuck not? Dude wasnt born evil but he purposefully chose destruction and death at every possible opportunity for 400+ years. Nothing about his backstory would have made any impact on the characters affected, because its not an excuse, its not even an explanation! Caleb had the same childhood and he loved the Boiling isles. Eat boots Belos.
Ok, buckle up cause this is gonna be a long one, we gotta have a chat about Belos as a character, because there's been so many takes about this i keep seeing about " he never accepted the isles the way luz did" and "He had 400 years to change and he never took the took the offer", because it just seems like the fandom wants to kinda ignore a lot of the nuance about his situation and why it's not that simple?
and i'm for sure certain it's because the fandom is obviously already pretty biased against him since he's the villain, and what he does to the main characters as well as represents.
And that's fine, obviously he becomes a pretty bad person, no one is obligated to like him and it's ok to feel uncomfortable given the character he is.
But i think a lot of these issues as to why people have such mixed opinions about the finale has a lot to do directly with the fact the show DID keep his backstory as vague as they did, when if they had gone into it i think we would've had less of this discourse.
Now none of this is me excusing him obviously, but the fandom is very adamant to just not allow him to have depth either, when....he's allowed to be irredeemable and have depth at the same time. He's meant to be a very human villain, a character that could happen to anyone under the right circumstances
So not exploring that depth, why it got how it did, and how things like it can be prevented is a flaw within the show and among a lot of fans.
And to be fair, the show does not HAVE to do it, but the show also clearly wrote his character to have a lot of implied depth whether people like it or not, him coming from a very real religious group alone and making him a foil to luz has turned what could of been a very one note villain into one with a lot of layers to his villainy.
And if the show wants to make belos a very one note villian, no depth, they could of very easily done this by just cutting out details like his love and care for his brother, or just make make him want to destroy witches simply because he decided on his own they were worth destroying.
But that's not exactly what they've presented belos as being.
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The show thrives in having characters who aren't just simple nor cookie cutter.
Hunter isn't just some cocky sidekick, he's an abused teenager who craves love and affection, and is willing to go high and low to earn it, terrified to be thrown away and replaced and constantly is forced into a mold just to get the affection he craves. He's highly sheltered and isolated just because his father figure doesn't want him to be his own person since that wasn't what he was created for
King isn't just a tiny little brat who craves power, he's a child whose been lied to about his past, and he wanted nothing more then to be taken seriously and feel a sense of belonging. He believes that he wants power, but finds out he really only wanted to be treated like anyone else, and that he's far happier with a family that loves and cares about him rather then being a powerful demon king.
Lilith isn't just a self important antagonist who wants to force eda to do what she wants, she grew up close to her sister and wanting to be by her side well into the future, but felt a sense of inadequacy in comparison to eda. The pressures of the coven system and need to win against her sister made her make a drastic choice she regrets and she wants nothing more then to fix it and make everything the ideal fantasy they grew up wanting to have together. She's also a large nerd, craves the attention of higher figures since her own mother used to put all the attention on eda, and changed her appearance just so people would take her seriously.
And the show does this with most of it's cast, obvi there's the exception like tibbles and even bosha who don't have too much to them, but they're also very minor antagonists and there's still stuff you can pick up on.
Belos however is the main antagonist, everything that happens in the show, happens because of him, his entire backstory is basically why the plot of the show happens.
Not just that, but also caleb and evelyn, if it weren't for the drama between these three, there would be no show.
And people are WELL aware these three aren't the main leads, they aren't going to be the main focus of most episodes and obviously the show was going to end in the favor of the main characters.
But
the story the show tells between these three ties very strongly into the ones with the leads too. We are given at least enough details to notice parallels between stuff that happens with characters like luz, and characters like philip.
We know philip and luz grew up in gravesfield, we know there were outcasts there, and they had one family member they relied on to support them there. They ended up in the demon realm, they both learned magic, and they both are strongly motivated by their beliefs regarding the isles.
So there's a lot they share in common, which makes it really easy to take a look at philip and say "Well it's his fault for not being like luz and accepting the isles like she did".
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But, there's a lot of differences here
Luz grew up with fantasy, with magic stories about witches and heroes and demons. Philip grew up in a 1600s puritan village which demonized this stuff, he was a young child growing up being told this stuff was evil and he was taught to fight against it.
Luz felt odd for her interests and out there personality but at worst she felt isolated and misunderstood, she didn't like her mom's efforts to change her to be "Normal". Philip actually conformed to gravesfield, caleb clearly encouraging his brother to do so, just so both of them could fit in with the town. Had they not conformed at best they'd be isolated, but at worst they'd be dead.
Camilia is an adult who eventually opens up and talks to luz about how it was wrong to try and change her to be "Normal", that she herself hid her own interests to do so.
Caleb, was a child, he did not have any open conversations with his younger brother. Caleb hid evelyn and his interests with witches from philip and then on top of this, left philip behind.
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You could absolutely say the fact caleb didn't talk to philip is pure speculation, and not confirmed at all. That all of this could be summed up to unreliable narrators.
But we know caleb left for the isles before philip did, we know it took time for philip to find him again (because his beard grew out), we know caleb had a wife who seems to be pregnant, that he was introducing philip to (Implying he not only hasn't seen philip in awhile, but that eve and philip have never met to caleb) and all of that alone feeds into the fact caleb left him behind to start another life. This is all shown in his memories alone, stuff we can't chalk up to unreliable narrators.
So the most logical conclusion to come to is caleb left philip to start a new family, we don't have a lot of details as to if caleb ever planned to return, if caleb had good reasons to do what he did, or much about his mindset.
But we have enough to know Philip loved and looked up to caleb, that he relied on caleb, and caleb lied and left him.
There is again, reason to tie this back to camila and luz.
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but this is not a child leaving a parent behind, this is a parental figure leaving a child behind.
This is what i mean by the issue being lack of clear answers, people claim caleb left when philip was an adult, but we actually have no confirmed evidence for this. We have enough of philip's memories to know 2 things, that he was still a teenager when caleb was meeting evelyn, and he was an adult when he arrived.
You could argue philip was an adult by the time caleb left, but it's so vauge you can also argue caleb left when philip was a child and philip didn't figure out his way to the demon realm till adulthood and there's not enough proof to go one way or another.
now titan dad says philip had no genuine reasons for his actions, that he did this all for glory, but as steve put it back in OTWAT, the titan is just a guy.
And given the collector situation, he can make mistakes and screw up just like anyone else.
Titan dad only sees what he can see and make observations based on what he sees. He saw a human come to the isles with a bias already against witches, who ended up killing his brother, who claimed to come here to save others and that's all he's going to see philip as being. Someone who wants to save others but just hurts them instead.
He has no reason to know what philip grew up under, nor does he have reason to know philip and caleb's story before they arrived. There's no denying philip did love caleb, and that they were close, but that caleb leaving him behind for witches drove them apart.
I think the problem ppl even have with what titan dad says is purely because the fans take it at face value, because let's be honest, most fans will believe the objective heroes for what they assume over the villians. And since the show again, leaves philip's story vauge, and never puts it in the main focus, people will just assume what titan dad says must be the truth.
Like yes, you can pick up on these details if you are paying attention, but most people won't do that, so a lot of fans will listen to the god telling them what philip's motivations are coming from rather then put together the sense of betrayal from caleb that hurt philip that most of the evidence is actually pointing to.
philip had no parents, and had no one but caleb as far as we can tell, and then caleb left him too, like he didn't want him anymore.
And he left him in a bigoted town, alone.
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the damage this could of done if he was a child is pretty darn bad, and for philip to assume this happened because of a witch means reinforcing everything he's been taught about witches.
Caleb lied about his changes, so when caleb sees him again, caleb seems to be a different person, which does fit with what philip says to luz about the isles "Brainwashing people".
tho you can argue that that's not the truth, that philip knows caleb did it on purpose and killed him for betraying him, cause of how he blames him in episodes like FTF.
But again, this is the result of leaving things vague, because either situation is plausible.
it's plausible philip never intended to kill caleb at all and he died as the result of trying to protect eve because the show says he was trying to target evelyn to save caleb, and it's plausible he died on purpose out of philip's rage for caleb leaving him. Because guess what? That means caleb had the means to go see him and could've seen him but made the choice NOT to, so yeah, that's pretty heartbreaking.
again, this also comes into play regarding Philips's guilt.
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People objectively keep saying philip HAS no guilt regarding caleb, but we have evidence for both guilt and non guilt.
Now, sure, his portrait of dead caleb implies philip is not guilty for his death based on his expression after the fact. We also have the fact philip shows distain towards the grimwalkers, that he never outright expresses he feels bad to anyone.
But, we also have caleb's death being treated as one of philip's worst memories in KT that he objectively recalls in horror, he says he "Tried" to save caleb in FTF, which implies he wanted to save him and that he's mad he didn't manage to do so. The grimwalkers and caleb could be seen as ghosts, but also as hallucinations, and if you are seeing them as the latter then it makes sense he'd be seeing them out of some level of guilt towards having them killed.
If the show had these details explained more fully, it would be easy to either deem belos as being a murderous dick with no remorse who thinks killing was the right thing, or as a guilt ridded stubborn murderer who wants to not acknowledge he was wrong and screwed up.
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it's why people are split, because you could objectively choose to see him both ways and the ending will affect you differently depending on what you picked up on.
But now let's talk about philip not changing, because people have bashed him for not doing so in the 400 years he's been there and that he had opportunities to do so but didn't.
And i think this is half right, half wrong.
Philip came to the isles with biases, he basically grew up in a cult, he came in thinking he was traveling into hell to go find caleb. Caleb encouraged his hatred, and then his hatred got further pushed when caleb seemed to be kidnapped, and then further pushed when he was surrounded by nothing but bigots.
So this man was already on a bad foot compared to luz, who was here to live out the fantasy books she grew up on, and objectively would have no reason to hate or fear witches nearly as much.
And we do know while the BI can be compassionate, it also has it's issues, even luz faced discrimination for being human herself while on the isles. Being powerless there is well, not great, it's why luz had to figure out her own way to do things alongside everyone else.
And the Bi ARE dangerous, especially for humans, so it's at least understandable philip is not going to just show up and look past the flesh eating plants, the evil weather, and the lack of anything he can even objectively eat.
Now philip could of considered things outside of his bias, and made the effort to try and look at things from a new perspective. But we also have to acknowledge that it's not easy to come out of this long time brainwashing either, and that it takes time and help to do so.
And philip, didn't seem to have that.
Yes, caleb grew up the same way, but not only was he older, which already set him up to question things more. But he had evelyn, he had someone to challenge him and his views and change his mind.
Philp, doesn't have that, there is no confirmation anyone ever really chose to challenge his views or make him realize he was following a lie.
Caleb could of but caleb left.
All we see is philip, isolated, following the beliefs he was taught and being hostile to witches, and witches rightfully being hostile back, which just further is feeding into his bias.
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You can assume philip had chances to change but didn't, but there's no real strong evidence of that being offered to him either. That any witch ever tried to make him question anything.
It's pure speculation.
Now Philip is a stubborn ass dude for sure, so yeah, we can claim he just simply didn't want to consider it.
But people are claiming Philip was shown help that he didn't take and that's just not true. We never see anyone asking him to do the right thing or making him question things, at least not compassionately.
no one to our knowledge ever did challenge him, or did reach out to him, not even in the show itself.
Luz is rightfully hostile towards him even when trying to challenge him, hunter does attempt to try and come up with helpful ideas but he would silence himself if his uncle didn't like it (Not to mention the existing fact that he is supposed to be a caleb replacement so his existence comes from philip not wanting him to change or question things philip thinks caleb should not), and well....collector giving him a hug isn't gonna do anything at that point to stop him from thinking the worst of the isles.
This is partially because belos has the power in scenes, that if he hears what he doesn't want to hear he can quickly silence the individual and ignore it.
He's basically put in situations where no one is challenging him and if they are, they're usually doing it with distain and he's responding like a dick right back.
So maybe not much could of been done when belos has become emperor, outside of some rare occurrences where he has no choice but to listen or if he was challenged by someone he respected and would be less willing to hurt. Maybe he's too far gone to back out now and has too much power to even allow himself to consider what anyone had to say, even if they did do it kindly and wouldn't face his wrath.
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but he was only emperor for 50 years too.
So ok, what about before that?
Well, yeah, maybe there were chances he could of been, but that's a period of time we only see so much of, and none of it shows one way or the other that Philip was offered the chance to improve.
I think had we gotten a scene of philip being offered a chance to do good, to consider things, that he knew he was wrong and still rejected it, it would back up this whole "Philip made the choice to not get better" thing people claim.
but truth is, it's speculation, we don't know.
A guy who spent his life buying into where he grew up and came in with biases that became a cycle of him being terrible and witches reinforcing what he thought isn't just suddenly going to change his mind and be nice now on a whim unless those biases are challenged in a way he can't deny.
it's on him for not considering looking on things outside of his bias for sure, but people seem to think doing that is simple and easy and it's really not.
Philip had no evelyn, he was left with no one but his bias and stubborn mind.
It's like king said back in hollow mind " People don't want to believe they've been following the wrong person their whole lives", and philip didn't have a luz like hunter did to help him realize how wrong he really was.
Instead it got worse and worse.
This is why philip feels real, because this can happen to people, that they can grow up with hate and never receive the help they needed to pull them out of the mindset. So they get worse, they become worse people.
and we can argue philip didn't deserve the chance to get better, but you'll never know if you don't try and we don't know if anyone did try before he was too far gone.
to think all of this could of been avoided if caleb actually spoke to his brother and gave him the chance to change...
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Tying this all back to the beginning-
Philip's story ties into luz, they are foils in a lot of ways, but people need to remember they have differences outside of luz being a good person and philip being a bad person. Those differences make them into the people they are.
That luz was set up to love the isles in a way philip was set up to come in with a bias against it.
That it is not as simple as "Philip should of just got better" given what happened to him and the lack of help he had.
That philip never really is objectively shown to be offered genuine chances to reconsider his views on the show as much as people keep claiming so, and it's mostly all assumption at this point.
That so much of this argument over whether he's one way or the other could of been fixed if the show hadn't kept things vague.
By doing so, it leaves a lot for interpretation about him and therefore means people will have different views on what he thinks and feels and therefore will have different views on how his death should of been handled.
Caleb and philip tie into camila and luz, they tie into the clawthrone sisters, they are the basis for the plot of the series, they tie into hunter and the themes of being understood and being honest about yourself and conformity and it is no wonder people care about them.
It is incredibly valid if anyone expecting this story, that tied into the plot so hard ,as well as the themes, was upset it felt unexplained or dropped in the finale.
Especially since the fandom, with an obvious hatred for belos, responded to it by treating titan dad's word as god and simplifies philip's story completely despite everything i just mentioned here.
It is perfectly fine if you are not someone who cares about belos, but the people who do are perfectly allowed to be bothered that the show itself kept the complexity vague and not addressed and none of it mattered when it came to how his arc ended.
And that the only person who properly gives a personal opinion of what he thinks his motives are, simplifies him to being evil, and the fandom roles with that and the show never tries to do much to prove otherwise despite the evidence.
because this is a fascinating story about how conformity and bigotry can drive two close brothers apart and it feels like a story the show should of at least dedicated more of an episode to.
Especially since there's no clear idea if we'll ever get extra toh content to really tie any of this up.
Again, none of this excuses belos/philip for what he did, does, or tries to do, no amount of his life being screwed over and people treating him bad and not reaching out to him will ever excuse the fact he went so far.
But let's also just, not pretend it was an easy fix either, that someone can just....stop believing what they believe with the drop of a hat.
Especially given how this can reflect real people who are made into people like this.
He is nuanced, and people are attached to this villain for good reasons.
Nothing is simple about him, and it's just a product of how the show has handled his character.
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warden-melli · 21 days ago
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honestly the leaks are a very bad thing. nintendo is infamous for its strict copyright so people are definitely getting sued or fired. And this might affect the way the next games due might develop, worst case scenario they're scrapped entirely or changed beyond recognition by gamefreak desperate to keep things new and subvert expectations. we got some cool beta content sure, but it's done more harm than good overall.
And as a Gen 2 lover who picked Cyndaquil as my starter in my first ever Pokemon game, I'm not looking forward to having to deal with endless memes and comments of "haha Typhlosion is a pedo" for the next few years to come.
As unpopular an opinion as it seems to be, I actually agree with you fully. I know most people are celebrating the leaks, but I think they have the very real potential to cause a lot of damage to the fandom, and possibly even the franchise as a whole. We can’t really know what Nintendo/Gamefreak will plan to do moving forward, but I agree, it’s potentially not good. It seems very likely that there will be pretty serious legal actions taken against whoever they decide to go after, and yeah, it’s also very possible this may affect game development plans, or future projects pretty drastically
The worst part of these leaks for me is definitely the massive amounts of misinformation they’re bound to spread. These leaks are entirely lacking in any context, further complicated (In the non Japanese fandom) by cultural differences and language barriers leading to major misunderstandings and flawed interpretations, many of which are being spread as “canon” information by large portions of the fandom. People are wrongly coming to conclusions that aren’t canon, from sources that were never intended to be seen in the first place, the content of which they have no way of correctly interpreting. It’s a shit show, honestly.
I also just feel weird looking at it. I briefly saw some unreleased concept art for PLA today, and while you’d think I’d be delighted, I just felt sick. I can’t really explain why I have had such a negative physical and emotional response to seeing (or even thinking about) any more PLA leaks coming to light, but I do. I’m terrified about a leak (regardless of whether or not it’s canon) absolutely destroying the game, or its characters for me. I literally don’t know what I’d do with myself. As sad as it is, that game is everything to me. It’s very literally 90% of what I think about and create. I want it to stay perfect forever, and I’m scared a leak could potentially take that from me
And I fully understand your frustration. I am a huge fan of both Mr Mime and Vaporeon, so I know what’s it’s like to have one of your favourites picked as the punchline of an unfortunate fandom joke, and then to have that joke subsequently ran into the ground. I love the cyndaquil line too, and had just chosen one as my starter in my latest PLA play through, just before the leaks dropped. It’s gonna be rough out there for a while I’m afraid, but hopefully it’ll blow over eventually. At least for the most part
After seeing the PLA stuff tonight I made up my mind. I blocked the leak tags and I’ve decided to completely avoid any leak content moving forward. If it’s bothering you too, maybe you should consider doing the same? At least until the fandom settles down a bit?
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belladrawschstuff · 18 days ago
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The struggle is real
I swear bro this fandom is good but like their are some real bad disadvantages.
no.1 when someone asks you what fandoms your in cause fr I'm in so many but all of them are terrifying to talk about because there will never be a way to explain countryhumans to someone, you either love it or you hate and also like it just feels so weird to talk about like
"oh so what fandoms are you in"
"oh well I'm in the countryhumans fandoms, basically the country becomes alive and then they bang and stab each other and everyone's chill with that and you get to draw art of it."
no.2 when you have a CH Tumblr account, you can no longer give ur opinion in like real life stuff, like I saw a post about something and I was about to give a witty comment, and then I realized I have my PFP as Britain and 13 colonies and I immediately changed my mind. Like at least with my other profile picture was better because it didn't show CH it just showed that one meme of " WTF IS A KILOMETER"
no.3 you have to hide your art or like you gonna get banned from the internet by your parents like I remember I used to be REALLY obsessed when it was like 2021 and I used to watch videoes ( idk how cause now anytime I here any of the meme songs I immediately cringe) and then my mom went through my last seen videos you should've seen how sweaty I got. I mean ofc none of them were crazy but it just shows just how weird it is, like thank God she didn't ask me about it she was just like ok this is what shes watching I guess cause I did not want to explain what it is
no.4 you just get bullied for liking it. personally it hasn't happened to me yet because literally no one knows me but like there are some people just being like " why do you like this weird shit, get a life you *enter unoriginal insult*. Like I didn't bully you for being weird, your literally in the corner of the internet, you wanna also know who's in the Corner, the weird kids, stop acting like you don't have a strange fandom or 2, Ill say it Im also in the Minecraft, Hetalia, and even sky cotl ( Its got weird ass lore but in all honesty its pretty fire, just know some people are mad at the developers for putting every cool cosmetic as IAPs so yeah) and I'm a history nerd (probably why I'm here) and I'm obsessed with any internet drama like the lunchly drama with KSIs new song getting cooked. Listen you stay in your lane and I will too. I also used to be in the Baldi, Sonic and Mario community. This is not the weirdest shit I have and I'm sure its not yours or anyone's in this community.
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eyesore-boi · 3 months ago
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You think that you're alone but
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We are waiting for you every night...
You're mine.
Close ups and other stuff below!
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...so....10 years, huh?
I cannot understate how much FNaF means to me in my life, and yeah...know that sounds a b i t much considering it's the funny har har bear games, but lemme explain-
Truth is, i was actually terrified of FNaF when it first came out! I remember my first introduction to it was when i was having a sleepover at my friend's place and he was both playing and watching other people play the first game, and when i was watching it with him, i got scared and tried to avoid the game as much as i could, even claiming to hate the game despite just knowing the first game. I was young and was prone to sheltering myself from stuff i didn't understand, and that being the first scary game i've ever seen caused that reaction, but over time...that changed.
It happened when i was watching YT and clicked on a comic dub i never seen before, thinking it was an AU for a fandom i was in (probably Undertale i dunno), but lo and behold, it was actually a fandub/animatic for the missing kids incident, and that...peaked my interest. I got curious on how this scary game actually had an interesting story to it and not just some game that goes boo. So, soon after that, i decided to look up simply "FNaF Story", found the Game Theory videos, and...the rest is history.
I was amazed and hooked, got invested in how the games explained the story in ways i've never seen before, got excited when i saw everything click together in real time, and pair that with how i got into the series r i g h t when Sister Location came out, arguably when the lore really started to kick off, i knew there was no going back now. I stuck with the series since. I watched all the animatics and dubs, listened to all the songs, tried drawing the characters, made OC's, and even talked to other people about this franchise.
And now look- Not gonna pretened this whole time it's been sunshine and (Chica's) rainbows, especially in recent times. The drop off SB caused, the lore getting more and more complicated and convoluted, the divide between older and newer fans, being the founder of Mascot Horror (for every Poppy Playtime there i s a Garten of Ban Ban) and course the IRL drama, but in all seriousness...i still wouldn't trade it for anything.
FNaF, this series, is my very first experience connecting me with a community like this, both good and bad, helping me understand how to properly enjoy media and even learn/take things from it, and i think without it i wouldn't be in the fandoms i'd be in now. The scary, horror ones, the niche, hard to find ones, story driven, character rich, and of course...more importantly...getting me into Markiplier, which further influenced the "outside the box" kind of thinking cause my g o d for these two stories you need too-
And speaking of, because of those two stories, it lead to me branching out more creativily and even creating my own webcomic for an AU combining both of them, so regardless on how that'll go, i'm just glad this series has influenced me enough to create something for others to see, since that's all i ever want to give.
But really, this franchise will forever be with me, and though i don't always agree with all of it (i haven't read any of the books in y e a r s and i refuse to do so), it only makes some of the stuff it does do right completely worth it (like the movie, peak cinema), and for where ever this bear shaped train is going next, well, i'll be here for the ride for all of it. No matter how many burning buildings it goes through.
...oh and um- Right yeah. The actual art piece. Uh....it crashed multiple times when drawing it. It's even a miracle i was able to export it. I can't even open it up anymore. So even if i wanted to change anything about it, i c a n 't -
But still pretty happy with how it came together! Was run drawing these robos, some being kinda redraws from the past, while other's i've n e v e r drawn before, so that was interesting! But still, tried to draw the "main character" so to say from each of the main FNaF games, and just kinda be...walking along through the series, nothing too deep or complex, but still interesting enough! ....unlike the fnaf storyline cause g o d how many restaurants wERE THEIR S C O T T -
But for real this is going long enough, so ima head out and do my own FNaF related things thay you don't need to worry about shush *commits arson*
HAPPY 10TH FNAF BIRTHDAY EVERYBODY!! >:DD
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daisy-daze17 · 4 months ago
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Omori Manga Thoughts cause it was uhhh
OK so like. The thing is I only got into the omori fandom in February of this year so take my opinion with a grain of salt.
1. I'm mostly a fan of the art style-- a lot of people said that Sunny always seems to have a panicked expression so it's hard to read into him, plus the characters look a lot younger than they're supposed to (Which I find odd). But other than that, I think it does a really good job representing the scarier parts with very abstract drawings of Mari/Something. They coloured it well and thank god did Kel's skintone right. There is one particular panel that I especially love:
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So much detail and it captures the feeling of seeing faraway for the first time really well ^^
Some nitpicky positive thoughts:
Sunny could have looked more distinct from Omori because the only difference I see are their outfits. Maybe make Sunny's features softer and have less contrasting values so we can see an immediate difference.
I like how they did everyone's eyes-- Sunny/Omori's are just dull and black, and everyone else with dark eyes are shown to have a light in them. (Just a nice detail i appreciated)
I like how Omori is clearly less expressive compared to sunny, but I think Sunny could have benefitted from having more emotions than surprised/blushing.
2. The pacing was weird. like really fucking weird. The basic structure of the game Omori is: Omori is in whitespace -> Omori plus the gang (Hero, Aubrey and Kel) meet up with Basil and Mari in headspace -> everyone minus Mari goes to Basil's house and learn all the combat stuff along the way -> after fixing the photo album it suddenly shifts to basil in a panicked state before glitching you back into white space again. The moment when basil shifts the mood from calm to terrifying is REALLY important.
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It forces the new tone on you very suddenly and also sets up a lot of mystery surrounding Mari when Basil can't finish what he was going to say about her. By now we know that something is very wrong and it has to do with Mari, but we don't know what.
The manga is kind of all over the place the whole time. First we see the christmas scene when Sunny gets his violin. But then Mari does her whole nightmare thing and we know somethings up from the first few pages. Next we wake up at night as Sunny in the real world... yet it shows the little "THREE DAYS LEFT" as well? At this point I was super confused because basically the entire nighttime sequence is shown through a sort of montage with Sunny's mom's voice message in the background before transitioning into the day when Kel first knocks on the door. A cool thing they did was parallel Kel's knocking with the creepy knocking we get from Mari Something. HOWEVER for reasons unknown they just completely cut out the fight against something on the stairs??
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Something I was really excited about was seeing how they would integrate the combat into the manga. And they do it later with the Aubrey fight (more on that later), but not now? So now I'm wondering if they'll include Sunny's three fears that he has to overcome.
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So next we find our boy (KEL!!!!!) and he is asking Sunny if he wants to come to Hobbies. I did find the dialogue here pretty awkward as Kel bounced back and forth in demeanor, but that's to be expected since Sunny isn't talking. (And I appreciate how he shows some kind of reaction to seeing one of his best friends after 4 years lol)
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I mean compared to this when he just jumps straight into his hobbez idea without much reaction to actually seeing Sunny lol.
The most notable thing after this is the Aubrey confrontation with Basil and the other hooligans. I DONT KNOW WHY but they chose to not show the hooligans in that scene!! The hooligans are aubrey's little gang/posse who she hangs around with all the time and the people we always see when she's bullying Basil.
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It's very important to note that Basil is talking to KIM here. He starts the conversation begging for her to tell Aubrey to give the photo album back. Aubrey is actively ignoring his attempts to get it back, with basil claiming "She won't listen to me."
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In the manga she appears out of seemingly no where and proceeds to beat Basil directly with her bat. Prior to this we get no setup or explanation as to why Aubrey's attacking him or what the situation is. WORST OF ALL, It's only Aubrey alone attacking him and NOT her gang of the Hooligans. The hooligans are important in showing us just how isolated and ostracized from society Basil really is after Aubrey began bullying him. He literally has a whole gang of kids who call him a creep and attack him regularly. Here it seems like Aubrey is insane and is just beating him selfless for kicks. (not that I'm justifying Aubrey's behavior in the game, but the lack of context makes this situation even worse.)
I think It's also important to bring up how they switched around the order of events because in this situation, it's not working. We're supposed to first be introduced to younger Aubrey and Basil in headspace-- their younger counterparts. Aubrey is strong-willed and excitable and Basil is calm and kind. And most importantly-- they're VERY GOOD FRIENDS. So seeing Aubrey revealed to have been bullying him these past 4 years shocks the player and makes them understand how much things have really changed. Doing it the other way around will automatically villainize DW Aubrey since we already know what goes on in real life.
And then something interesting happens-- Sunny blacks out during the fight and returns to Headspace. This is SUPER weird as we've only ever seen Sunny go into headspace while sleeping, because it's an escape mechanism he uses to avoid The Truth. Does this mean he isn't aware he goes into headspace unwillingly sometimes? And what does this mean for the continuation of the real world story? Are we going to go through the entire Space Boy quest just to get back to that scene?
Anyway, I'm interested to see how they take it from here. Maybe they'll do a continuous switchover to the real world where they jump between it more frequently. But I question what that would mean for the timeline because the events of headspace happen in between the three days while Sunny is sleeping-- so he can't be in two places at the same time. Maybe they'll write more and more random ways for Sunny to black out to do this?? They defiantly are trying to take a step back from following the game exactly. I can't say I don't like it because I don't know how it'll turn out, so I'm excited for chapter 2!
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blushblushbear · 4 months ago
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Fck it- let’s get some ANGST rolling
All the boys reacting to their S/O dying right in front of them, and they are partially responsible for it.
Doesn’t matter how; freak accident, prank/date gone wrong, ppl who have a personal vendetta against them and want revenge- I want to know how they react and how they move on from that moment onwards (if they do at all)
DO.YOUR.WORST!!!
(I’m new to this fandom btw. Hi!! 👋🏼 I rly like your writing :)
AHHHH THANK YOU! I try weirdly hard to do a decent job
but yeah okay *cracks knuckles* let's get into it B)
SHIT'S UNDER THE CUT CAUSE IT'S A LOT AND IT'S DEPRESSING
tw: character death, death in general, violence, gun violence, depression, grief, guilt, heartbreak
Nimh
So I think Nimh's is a freak accident
I think you two are just walking along the side walk together and it's nice and normal and peaceful
and then a car swerves off the road and right towards you two
let's sad for added against you pushed him out of the way on instinct
I think his vision is actually blurred at first when he looks up from his spot in a bush
he does have a heart condition so that amount of shock is gonna make him legitimately dizzy
he almost dies right there when he looks over and sees you unconscious on the ground surrounded by blood
he is full on having a panic attack and can't breath and honestly everything is a dizzy blur for the next few hours
he falls over again just running over to you and is lost to the world as the rest of the scene unfolds around him
he's full on not seeing or hearing anything as he holds you bleeding in his arms
he doesn't even notice how badly he's hyperventilating
you actually don't die right there on the spot
you're put in an ambulance and rushed to the er and then to the icu and Nimh is in the hospital with you
They're also taking care of him as well since he is actually pretty banged up and is clearly having a serve panic attack and might legit pass out if not tended to
when you finally get to the hospital and start to wheel you away to the icu as other er staff are looking over him as a patient he pretty much starts loosing his shit
he wants to go with you but they need to make sure he's okay too
he's sobbing as they take his vitals
you last a few days and he never leaves your side
his parents come by to bring him food and clean clothes and a blanket but he's not leaving you once he's found you again in the icu
it's terrifying to him how still and hurt you look
he talks to you while you're out
honestly for all 3 of those days, he still had hope
no matter what the doctors said
but when he woke up on the morning of the 4th day to the sound of your flat line he watched all his hopes and dreams crumble in front of him
his happy future he saw for himself died with you
he's honestly a depressive mess and his body has not taken to the stress well at all (heart condition and panic attacks)
it's made even worse by the fact that he keeps having dreams about you
that always turn into nightmares where he relives holding you lifeless and bleeding in his arms
I'm going to be honest
I think due to the mix of the stress this puts on his already frail body
and the fact that he's sort of lost his will to live
he actually only lasts a few months after the accident
he was already lucky enough to make it this fair into his life, lucky enough to find the strength to always keep trying and make his body better, lucky enough to find you
but I guess his luck ran out
for what it's worth, I do think he goes peacefully in his sleep
dreaming about you
but a good dream this time
it's just tragic all around
poor Nimh
Volks
Volks' is another nice day turned tragic
You guys had gone out hiking, and he had helped you climb a tree because he really wanted to show you the view
it was taller than you had ever climbed but he promised that he wouldn't let anything happen to you
and as you too are looking at the view--- well, YOU are looking at the view, Volks is looking at you pretty much the whole time (like he always does)
but for a brief moment he took his eyes off you to also look at the view with you
and in that moment a strong wind shook the branch and made you loose your balance
your security tie failed and you went tumbling
that split second moment went by like an hour to Volks
the sudden realization that you weren't there
then looking down and seeing you falling
it took all of his will power to not instinctively jump after you
but when he saw you hit the ground he never scrambled down a tree so quickly
every part of him was shaking and his heart was pounding in his ears
he came up to you and you were still alive, but badly hurt
he gently cradled you in his arms and noticed you had blood coming out of your head
he pulled you onto his back panicking
calling 911 with his shaking hand
he met them on the side of the road and rode with you in the back of the ambulance
the whole time he was just staring wide eyed and pale at you
you were alive and moving but you were so out of it
the ems said you had definitely hit your head on something on the fall (probably a rock) and that you had several broken bones
you got none of that
Volks heard every word of it loud and clear like the worst was being confirmed for him
and he was responding to none of it
just staring at you
when you got to the hospital, his mom was already rushing out to meet the paramedics
you had met her a few times, she really liked you a lot, and especially liked how happy you made her son
she was taking charge since you were already like family to her
when they wheeled you back she told Volks to follow
your vitals were starting to tank and you've lost too much blood
the er room was a panicked frenzy that you were too out of it to comprehend
and the whole time Volks just kept staring at you
in your state, you were trying to make anything out
then you looked over at Volks
and when you looked at him there was this look of recognition and almost like relief
he stared back at your eyes, dull and distant but fully seeing him, the blood running down your forehead ruining the tenderness this look would've otherwise brought him
he didn't realize it yet, but he was tearing up
you reached out your hand to him weakly
he practically jumped forward, walking to you and taking your hand
your grip was weak and there was dirt and blood on your palms
you squeezed his hand as best you could manage
and you smiled at him
gazing lovingly into his eyes
and as he gazed back into yours
he watched as your bright eyes went dark
and then unfocused
he heard the single note of you leaving
and felt a panic he'd never known before as your hand slipped from his
his vision blurred as he just stood there shaking in disbelief
he couldn't find any words or form any thoughts as tears streamed down his cheeks
in a distance he heard his mom's voice
he heard his name
she was saying something
she felt her hand numb on his back
but he couldn't take any of it in
he just stared at you
for maybe the last time
you were just here and now you were gone
he
his contact finally broke when his mom pulled him away into a hug
she was crying on his shoulder, and holding her baby boy so tight
Volks blinked and it all hit him at once
and he broke down in his mothers arms as they crumpled to the floor together and sobbed
months went by
and he barely left the house
he went back and forth between staring at the wall and looking back over pictures you took together and texts you had sent
then crying
then back to the wall
his mom checked in on him a lot
but he's barely there anymore
on one visit she brings him food and notices a rose in a vase with fresh water
it's one he brought home from your funeral
it's long dead but he keeps watering it
for the millionth time Volks' mom preaches the helpfulness of grief counseling and invites him to join her this week at the group meeting
he refuses and she goes back to unloading the food she brought him into his fridge
he's not eating much though
on her way out she kisses his forehead and tells him she loves him
she stops at the door
and looks back at the rose
then her son
'you know.... they would've wanted you to be happy... that's all they ever wanted...'
Volks is silent for a while
his mom sighs and gets ready to leave again
'hey mom....'
she turns
'...what time is the therapy group?'
Kelby
Ya know, weirdly enough, I think Kelby actually handles all this the healthiest of all the boys??
also before I give an actual death lemme just say it's really hard for me to think of something for Kelby that's not Final Destination levels of insane lol
but no, okay okay
ahem
I think with Kelby it's just a regular ol' run of the mill daily tragedy
You're driving together, he's at the wheel, you guys are probably headed to a nice day at the beach
or back from a nice day at the beach
it's late but he's careful
but the sad truth is careful doesn't matter when other people drink and drive
your car is hit head on by someone going twice the speed limit, and your side of the car takes the main impact
I think unlike the previous two guys, you don't get a hospital goodbye
you are most likely dead on impact
and Kelby's not looking too hot either
I think he passes out in an ambulance and wakes up a few hours later to a few new injuries and the shocking news that you didn't make it
pretty sure everyone can hear his wails from down the hall
He's actually basically crying off an on for the next few years
he spends time with family
time with friends
looks at pictures
reads old texts
cries and cries and cries
he goes to therapy and goes through the moitons
but no matter what he can't fight this new hole he feels
the one where all his love for you went
I think he actually becomes an advocate for safe driving
and joins a lot of support groups
He actually helps a lot of people work through their pain
and that helps him work through his
the sad truth about this kind of thing is that it really is a mundane tragedy
that feels like an oxymoron but this sudden heartbreak happens everyday
but through the proper channels, Kelby has found ways to cope
though every now and then the loneliness does get him
how can it not
but if he can't spend the rest of his life with you
then he'll dedicate the rest of it in your memory
and help others do the same
also he keeps your picture by his bedside and talks to it frequently
telling you good morning and good night and such
He never stops missing you
Eli
I feel like with Eli, it really is something outlandish
Like he convinced you to go romantically dancing in the rain and you got struck by lightening
and to other people he laughs it off
'ain't life a bitch, at least they went out in a blaze of glory, they always were electrifying,' etc etc etc
but the truth of the matter is he's deeply and unbelievably upset about this
at his core, he's inconsolable
and he probably jokes about that too
'haha I'm dead inside actually! :)'
he has started seeing a therapist
he's got a lot to unpack
also I know there's not super explicit alcohol mentions in the game
but we know Eli is a party boy
and he's def developed a drinking problem over this
he doesn't know how to handle his feelings so he stays out all night partying like he would do with you
tearing shit up and drinking his feelings away
all so he can stumble home alone and pass out immediately so he doesn't have to contemplate how utterly empty and pointless his big fancy apartment feels
or how empty and pointless he feels
he's also dabbled in some drugs but he's trying to be real careful about that since he doesn't wanna wake up in an alley way (at least not cause of drugs-- he might a few times over booze though)
I think there was a time Eli had a lot of self hatred growing up followed by full self acceptance and self celebration
but he doesn't feel like celebration himself right now
he's pretty sure you'd be disguised with what he's become in your absence
hence the going to therapy
he hasn't found the right therapist just yet but he's going to keep trying
he liked the good things about himself, he liked the good things about you, and all the good things you saw in him, even the stuff he didn't always see as good himself
he wants to like himself again
the way he did when he had you loving him
he truly felt the happiest with you around
but now
he lives in the club
and drinks till dawn
he wakes up in a haze
feeling sick as shit
slowly gets himself together-ish
and ends up wondering what his life has become without you
has a coffee
and a headache
reads some poetry or listens to a song that reminds him of you
ulgy cries for a bit until his headache is worse
calms down enough to eat (well, less calm and more too burnt out)
rinse, repeat.
He doesn't plan to do this forever
he doesn't want to do this forever
someday he's gonna find a way to be happy again without you
though nothing will ever compare to the great love of his life that surprised him out of nowhere
Anon
okay here me out this might be a little too real BUT
bitch I think he got swatted
he messed around with the wrong dude and he got swatted
it got messy
you were there when it happened
he is pressing SO MANY CHARGES
he is a wreck
there's a movement online to try and help and support him through this trying time but honestly
he sees very little of it
he's sort of logged off for a while
actually a long while
he moved houses cause he was just too scared and traumatized
he couldn't stay in the house he watched you get shot in
he's going to so much therapy but it's not helping much
well, it is actually
just not in ways he's seeing or feeling
normally he'd get his revenge asap but like
that sort of thing is what got him into this mess
he is still taking all the legal action he can though
got the best lawyers on his side
SOMEONE is going to jail hell or high water
but it doesn't help fill the hole
he spends a lot of time lying in silence
or going outside
or staring at a blank screen that isn't turned on
he's actually not sure he'll ever get out of this whole
he looks at his phone from time to time but only to look at pictures of you
it's not connected to the internet or anything
eventually he finally feels up to trying to be online for an afternoon
maybe check his socials a bit and play a game
that's when he finally sees the out pour of condolences people have left for him
it actually makes him feel better
you know that bit in that lil nas song 'strangers make you feel so loved, ya know?'
that's him right now
he will never get over this
not even a little bit
and I think he's done using his powers to fuck around
I think eventually he will get to something resembling his old self but
you're still his desktop background
and he's never not going to feel that void you left
or the crushing guilt that flows
Garret
oh man
what to do with Garret
GEEZ uhhhh
I think with Garret, he just wakes up one morning with you in his arms and you're pale and unmoving
I think for him we're gonna say brain aneurysm
you just had one in your sleep overnight and there was nothing anyone could do
he was a panicking sobbing mess the whole time he waited for emergency services with you in his arms
and he wasn't much better while riding in the ambulance with you (he refused to leave your side)
you were barely breathing the whole ride and stopped breathing before you even made it to the hospital
despite the fact that literally none of this was his fault and absolutely there was nothing anyone could do he still blames himself
you died in his arms
he should've been able to do something
I think after a few years of group therapy he finally manages to get back to something like his old self
but he still breaks down in a sobbing wreck every now and then over this all
and he misses you every day
I think he constantly goes back and forth on whether to get rid of the bed you two shared on the night you died
on the one hand you died in that bed (sort of)
but on the other that's the last place you were together
either way he still hasn't gotten rid of it
and he has a locket with your picture in it that he never takes off
Dmitri
I'm running out of way for you to die guys
I think let's go with you were visiting him at the coffee shop and one of the espresso machines exploded, injuring 3 and killing 1 (that's you) (.....shut up I'm trying)
a coffee bean was launched right into your heart
so tragic
he like all the others go into a depressive state but he does very melo-drama about it
lots of tears and wilted roses and sobbing while draped across a sofa holding a framed photo of you
love poems, robe, tissues, ice cream, empty bottles of wine
his sister comes to visit him every day but it doesn't help
I honestly think he never lets this go
he wears this sorrow on his sleeve like a memorium to you
he vows he will never love again and he keeps it
there's a lot of talking to his main framed picture of you (he has a lot) and telling you about his day or his family or how much he misses you
that last bit usually comes up
he's definitely drinking more wine than before
he's not full Eli binging but he definitely gets it down
If he had a ring he was going to propose with (and he probably did let's be real), he wears it now around his neck
a reminder of the happy ending with you he will never get to see
Ichiban
I think this one actually is a prank gone wrong
or at least a video gone wrong
he actually quits his channel for a while out of guilt
he just can't stand running it
he eventually comes back for the fans but it takes like a full year before they hear from him
he spends a lot of time being depressed in the dark
playing games and sometimes talking to himself like he's talking to you
he has a really great therapist that helps him a lot with the guilt and grief
when he does eventually come back, he has a much greater boundary between his online life and his personal life
he also doesn't do stunts/pranks EVER
he actually only updates here and there cause he's putting his focus into more artist projects
the first one is an exploration of grief and how it can change a person
he's got a lot of guests from all over the internet who are here to share their stories of loss that were going on behind the camera
it's very soul bearing all around and it actually is seen as an over all good
it made a lot of people feel seen and less alone
including him
nothing will ever replace you
but he's using his fame now to let people know they aren't alone, so hopefully that's something
William
I think with William you were at the clinic visiting him and something venomous bit you
most likely a snake
you were rushed to the hospital and given anti-venom, but it was too late, the damage was already done
I think he is actually the most functional of all the dudes after the fact
like he's very much Not Okay, but he's trying his best to get through his day
the moment he gets home though he enters into the most mournful slump
he puts a record on and drinks a glass of wine and stares at your picture and just
mourns
he finds himself missing you throughout his day but the second he gets home it's a little all consuming
he's honestly kind of resigned to spending the rest of his life alone mourning you
maybe in a few years from now, he'll try for love again
but he already knows it's not going to be the same
he's always going to feel the weight of your loss on his heart
Myx
I think with Myx it's probably a very sudden yet terminal diease
he puts everything on pause to be with you for as long as he can
he gets about a few months (it's still not enough)
after another few months away from everything spent mourning he finally returns to the stage
he has basically a whole new albums worth of songs
each one of them was him working through his loss and pain
you know those albums you listen to from an artist, and you're just like 'who hurt you???'
yeah, this one is his
except the answer is life
or more specifically death
the amount of times he cries on stage performing some of these songs is unsurprising
a lot of fans send him letters of encouragement and condolences
and flowers
so many flowers
your funeral was actually a sea of flowers
some from friends and family
some from Myx's fans
but honestly mostly from Myx
his next album isn't quite so consumed with grief but honestly-- the subject always comes back up
there's also a few songs for you in there that are really sweet
it's not all tears and heartache
a few happy memories immortalized in song
though a lot of fans and critics consider the ones he wrote during that first year without you some of his most compelling and heartfelt bits of work
and it only cost him everything...
Stirling
Let us pretend my previous post about the reader gaining immortality does not exist
Stirling loses you to time
like so many things before you
and many things after
your loss stings the most though
he stayed with you until the end of your life
loving you every moment he could find
and even making some himself
but he's learned the hard way that all good things must come to an end
and frankly you were the best thing, so your end left the biggest shadow
he misses you every moment of his eternity
so many paintings and portraits of you throughout your years hang in his walls
but none of them ever did do you justice
he's found ways, like this, to surround himself with some version of your presence
though it never fully chases away the loneliness
he embraces the end gracefully
though every so often, when the night is clear and the stars are bright
he can't help but look into the heavens
think of you
and weep
Scale
Scale lost you to an enemy assassin
He doesn't know if they were going for him and just missed
or if they meant to target you just to get at him
but either way he watched in horror as a dart flew into your neck, and you fell to the ground motionless
He never stops blaming himself
He knew he was no good for you and he stuck around anyways
and look where that got you
he spends months hunting down and killing the assassin that did you in
but even bringing justice to your end doesn't make him feel any better
okay, maybe it helps a little, but it's still not enough
he sort of slinks into solitude for several years following your death
he also takes a vow of silence (for some reason--- he won't say why)
he frequently visits your grave and mourns you
he also reads over your old text convos
and he cries
a lot
he kind of lost his heart on that day
and it's truly doubtful he'll ever get it back
not with you gone
Sven
I think this one is another car
I know it's very sudden at the least
he doesn't really know how to process it at all
he's actually in quite the downward spiral for the next few months
going back and forth between trying to remain positive and being a sobbing wreck
bruh, I think your loss kinda broke him
he's seeing like 3 different therapists
they're helping a little
he still sobs uncontrollably at least once a day
honestly, I don't think he ever truly gets back to his old self
he just can't anymore
Cole
heheheheh *CRACKS KNUCKLES*
He's not sure how it happened
all he knows is that he came to on the floor next to you
He was holding you
and there was a lot of blood
you were already cold, your warmth long gone
and his head was spinning
everything was a fog
what had he...
he remembers feeling jealous
and helpless
and angry
he sort of blacked out in a spiral
there's vague flashes
you pinned behind him as
no.
no no no no no no no.
he couldn't have.
he wouldn't have.
h-he didn't mean to.
you can't be.
he staring down at your still body, limp and lifeless in his arms.
all the pieces are coming back together.
it's all coming back to him.
he let's out a nervous laugh as he shakes you gently and says your name.
It all had to be a bad dream.
That was all a dream.
He could never have...
please wake up...
he's so sorry...
please wake up...
...just be a bad dream...
Poe
I think for Mr. Poet we're gonna have to go Byronic on his ass
that's right, it's Consumption baby! Aka tuberculosis!
basically meaning you get real sick
and he's with you every step of the way
staying by your side as your body gives out
documenting ever turn with a new bit of writing or poem
he's never been so prolific
nor so heartbroken
he doesn't share any of the poems about you
He actually might pull a Dickinson and never share them
only to have them found and published after his death
he doesn't know how many pages he filled sitting by your bed side as you slept
he keeps a book of pressed flowers from throughout your decline
flowers he brought you, or ones given by the hospital or friends, a few flowers from your funeral
He probably spends the rest of his life even more listless than before
definitely more heart broken
he moves on in his writing (at least for the stuff he shares publicly)
but he never moves on in his heart
Cashew
I'm unsure how this one happens, but the follow up is the same
I think after a month or so, he tries to go back to his usual life
tries to get up, go to classes, go about his life
but he can't really care anymore
he's just going through the motions
he reads a lot of books where there's a character death to cope
also a lot of romance
and a lot of crying
he's kind of a shut in off and on for about a year
he slowly but surely bounces back
learns to be happy again
be he always knows he would be happier with you
there's a lot of pictures of you and him still floating around
he likes to try and remember you always
even if it hurts, seeing your face still makes him feel a little better
he's also def a member of the talks to your picture a lot squad
one of your pictures is his good luck charm
he got it laminated and uses it as a book mark so you can still kinda 'read with him'
Seth
OH BOY
he thought he wasn't going to care much since he deals with souls all the time
but he truly forgot what this was and now he's pissed
cocky fucker legit forgot that he lives in hell
and that's not where you end up
he doesn't really mourn like the rest of them cause you're not really gone
but he does still miss you
and is trying to tug at every string he can to try and either get himself up there or you down here
it's his new main goal, but it's gonna be a tough one
he keeps trying to trade your soul for others but the folks upstairs ain't buying it
this honestly feels like more of a set up for a rom com manga than anything else lol what is this even doing here IT'S NOT SAD ENOUGH
Logan
oh okay his can get very sad
I think his is going to be learning the hard way that you can't save everyone
and that no matter how hard to plan for something, things can still go wrong
(maybe he should be spider-man...)
but yeah, he was definitely one of the emergency services that responds to yours
he heard your address and got there so fast
but it wasn't fast enough
this loss legit takes him the majority of his life to get over
he was honestly planning to spend the rest of his life with you and that future went up in smoke
he goes to a lot of therapy, both group and one on one
and it helps
but not by much
he's definitely a different person after this all
a little less cheerful, a lot more serious
and hard to believe it but a little better at his job
he went from eye wide newbie with a hero complex to grizzled vet who knows how bad it can really get
and hey look another member of the pictures of you everywhere and he also talks to them squad
keeps a picture of you in the pocket of his fire jacket, near his chest
I mean, he already did that but now it hits different
also wears the ring he had gotten for you around his neck
(though not while working, fire fighters tend to not wear jewelry on the job cause metal hot)
lots of tears
lots of cuddle puddles with the rescue animals
occasionally names one after you
you were the love of his life
still are
Reece
Reece's is definitely a wacky space adventure gone wrong
he's shaken by the loss of you
I don't know how it happened but I know it was very sudden
spends a while in his ship just staring into the middle distance
he can't believe your gone
he spends a lot of time traveling around licking his wounds
also marshaling his forces to go face down whatever entity took you from this universe
tried to go back and save you but it always ends the same
after his last attempt he actually goes back in time to before you two even met and watches you from a distance
you look so happy, you have no idea what's about to happen to your life
he doesn't regret meeting you but he wonders often if things would've been better for YOU if he hadn't
flies solo for a few centuries
every now and then stops by and visits you in a time where you two still hadn't met
admittedly he's stalking you a bit but just in small bursts
it hurts a lot, but it also makes him feel better
try as he might, there's just some things he can never change
and the closer to home it hits, the more it hurts
Aki
WHOO BOY another immortal/semi-immortal character!
I think for all the fox boys we're going to just have you go of natural causes, no immortality for you
it's both hard for him to be sad about this and equally as impossible to not be devastated
on the one hand, you two had a beautiful life together
and having you in each others lives made them so full
but Aki's learning for the first time that part of being a kistune is seeing all good things end while you have to keep going
honestly I think all Kistune to some degree are like Aki, then Haru, then Fuyu as time goes on
like they all start to some degree young and wild and mischievous, then eventually calm a bit more and chill as they mature, and then being a live for so long matures them to such a level they're almost un-reacting cause they've seen it all
everyone's a little different but it's always roughly the same path
and this is Aki's first
you're Aki's first
his first everything
his first great love
his first great life mate
his first great loss
like all kistune before him, this is an aging mark
he's going to be a different person on the other side of this
he's still going to be Aki, just a different version of Aki
one that knows what it means to hurt on this level
he takes about a century to get over it--- well as over it as he's ever gonna get
he may one day have another mate or take another lover
but it will never be like how it was with you
I'm actually not sure if he ever pairs off with someone else for good (I'm honestly not sure any of them do)
and no matter how much time and experience changes him
or how many years pass
he still thinks back on his time with you often and gets all warm again
Haru
SO!
Natural causes, no immortality for you, you just get old and die
so they way I was talking with Aki and how all kistune probably have a similar life path as they age visa vee experiences and firsts
Haru actually is the way he is cause he was trying to AVOID that at all costs
he ran through life trying his damnest to not let anyone get too close cause he doesn't wanna deal
ESPECIALLY humans
sad, pathetic, emotional, short lived little humans
but then you actually managed to break through
and he kind of like--- got it then
like he gets it now
he understands how a connection can be worth the risk of pain
though I will say he does start the relationship fully in denial about the inevitable
he doesn't want to talk about loss, he doesn't want to think of you dying, he doesn't want to have to figure out what a world without you would be like
I think the biggest slap to the face Haru has ever gotten is when he gave you one of his 'I'm gonna spend the rest of my life pleasing you' and you kinda gently threw out 'well.... the rest of MY life anyway...'
I think hearing it from you made him actually like--- hear it ya know???
he generally doesn't loose his cool much but he def looses it then
or anytime someone brings up that you're mortal
I think all of the kitsune do at some point try and find a way to make you immortal but with Haru it's low key a thing he never gave up on
he's not always actively searching, but he's searching on the down low
weirdly I think the person that helps him cope the most with your death is you
YOU knew what you were getting into
and you're not afraid to talk about it with him
especially cause he has a hard time staying mad at you so you can kinda say whatever
he takes a lot of solace in the fact that he made your life very happy
and he enjoys the fuck out of every moment you two have together
he tries so hard not to dwell on it
but once it actually comes and is in front of him
he has a hard time processing
he's not good at processing big feelings okay
I think he might become a drunk for a while
just a grumpy depressed drunk
he actually goes back and forth between a picture of you being the last thing he wants to see and the only thing he wants to see
he's another person whose going to come out different on the other side of the loss
I think he tried at one point to take another lover but he ended up getting upset, and kicked them out before anything could happen cause he just wanted you
and now he's alone and drunk and crying, look what you've done to him
ngl I think he becomes that like--- emotionally wounded, grizzled, often drunk samurai type (like Yasuo back at the star of his story)
he went from fuck boy to lover boy to grumpy older dude whose a little stand off-ish but honestly he's actually very sweet he just has a lot of pain to work through
also even though your face is sometimes the last thing he wants to see (partly cause he's ashamed at what a wreck he's become without you), he still keeps a picture of you near his heart
Fuyu
I'm so tempted to have your end be violent with Fuyu cause he's mr. war crimes but honestly
I think growing to trust again and learning the lesson that violence was never the answer is not only Fuyu's character arch, but low key all of the kistune boys character archs????
but yeah, so no, despite my temptations
natural causes, old age, no immortality for you
so Fuyu is no stranger to death or loss
and he has seen people he cared about die (fandom headcanons, one of them WAS Natsu and I am behind the idea that he didn't wanna do it)
but you just hit differently
he truly never met anyone like you
nor has he loved anyone as deeply
nor will he again for that matter
he tries his best to mourn your death with grace
but behind closed doors he's a sobbing wreck
I think the full time line of Fuyu at least for the parts that we see him are as follows
Angy, deep down Very Sad and Lonely, Uptight, RAWR -> Learns to chill and love and repent and be more open and is just generally still kinda stuffy and stiff but a lot more warm and happy -> still not the monster he once allowed himself to become, still a bit stuffy but also still chill, very solemn, very sad
so he didn't loose his gentleness that his time with you taught him
but he did get back his sad and lonely
He thinks about you everyday
and talks to your spirit in his moments alone
( not actually your--- you're not a ghost, making that clear--- more your memory)
you honestly made him a much better dude
and your company lead to him being able to open himself to more people
but none of them are you
and they never can be
he still writes you poetry
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my-pjo-stuff · 3 months ago
Note
For the Great PJO Ask Analysis event: (ask no. 3)
You've got a topic in PJO you'd like for me to analyze?
The way demigods inherit their godly parents powers. Percy has a long list of abilities compared to Annabeth/Clarisse/Beckendorf, etc.
Want to share YOUR analysis of stuff with me and my followers?
Grover Underwood is an incredibly complex character who tends to get forgotten both by the fandom and the author. As satyr, he's got different aging to demigods and while Annabeth and Percy know him well, they don't seem to completely know. He doesn't talk about his family, his relationship with Juniper and is generally used as comic relief. His status as Pan's legacy holder seems underdeveloped as well. Thoughts?
Want to hear my take or shares yours of different characters and aspects of the PJO universe?
The exploration into the realms of Greek mythology is interesting. The Underworld is relatively easy for the trio to get into and for them to escape which seems to contradict the Underworld being a terrifying place with Tartarus, etc.
Nico and Bianca Di Angelo's storyline seems rather complicated and doesn't really explore them as characters. Opinion?
The way demigods inherit their godly parents powers. Percy has a long list of abilities compared to Annabeth/Clarisse/Beckendorf, etc.
Now I'm going to be honest and say that in my opinion there isn't much to analyze? Like, at the start of the series it seemed pretty obvious to me that powers are rather rare to be inherited from godly parents. Instead, it was more like talents that were passed down (Apollo kids being good at archery, Athena kids being smart etc.) For Percy's powers I honestly just assumed it was because he was the MC, and thus obviously had special or cool stuff to make the story interesting. In universe I chalked it up to just being a genetic lottery like irl in which actual powers were like a super recessive gene.
There's always a chance you'll inherit it and it'll show, it's just VERY small. Then as the book went on and more and bigger threats got introduced, as well as more characters being thrown into the mix a classic case of power creep set in. 'Cause you need the new characters to be interesting for the reader to get invested, while also needing to up the stakes from time to time to keep it interesting. Yet at the same time the characters also need to be able to reasonably defeat the enemies. So the most logical way to solve all that is to introduce new powers.
And I honestly there's not much more you can really analyze or explain. It's not really a coincidence that most characters introduced in the first five books didn't have any powers or only relatively weak ones, while those later introduced tend to have them or have them more powerfully.
Grover Underwood is an incredibly complex character who tends to get forgotten both by the fandom and the author (....) Thoughts?
I think Grover is one of the many wasted characters in the PJO books, he specifically having suffered from being treated like a side character despite having the setup of a main one. You already pointed out that Grover is very interesting as a character and has a lot going on- which, in my opinion, would have been better explored for a character if they had been a demigod.
Grover is in this sort of weird position where while yes, his themes are very cool and even relatable, they are not relatable enough. Because who do you think would children (aka, the books target audience) rather read about? The cool human demigods their age who look pretty and do cool stuff? Or the satyr guy who doesn't fit conventional beauty standards and isn't human? Fact is that Grover just isn't really as "attractive" as a character compared to others- he always seemed to take more of a background role supporting other characters. Which yeah, is most definitely a HUGE waste (which I honestly don't think I need to elaborate on further). And I honestly blame the fact that he just isn't pretty enough. Is he ugly? No, but he certainly isn't pretty or very fandomizable. He doesn't really have popular ship options and already gets pushed into the background of the books to make room for Percy and Annabeth. The fact that thus the fandom largely ignores him and he seems to lose importance as the story goes on doesn't seem suprising to me.
The exploration into the realms of Greek mythology is interesting. The Underworld is relatively easy for the trio to get into and for them to escape which seems to contradict the Underworld being a terrifying place with Tartarus, etc.
Again I'll just have to go meta and say, I think it's just the fact that they are in a children's book. It would get pretty boring to just always stay in America/the "human" world with a setting that could offer locations such as the Underworld, Tartarus, Olympus etc. so logically Rick searched for ways and reasons to get characters down there to use them. PJO and HOO being a kids' book series of course meant that he couldn't truly portray places like that as horrifying and dark as they should be, so he had to tone it down to keep it child-friendly. Same goes for the escapes from Tartarus and the Underworld- Rick can't just have his characters die, so he has them come out relatively unscathed. That's personally one of the reasons why I think that PJO would have been much more interesting had it been a young adult or teen series, since it would have allowed darker themes to be explored more thoroughly than they were. 8Some examples being locations like the Underworld, the true dystopia that a world would be where demigods just straight up have no human rights, the systematic issues with CHB ect.) Nico and Bianca Di Angelo's storyline seems rather complicated and doesn't really explore them as characters. Opinion?
I mean Bianca's only major character trait was just "Nico's sister". She was as flat as a piece of paper, died a few chapters after her introduction and really just served as a plot device for Nico's storyline. So I honestly don't think I have to say and go over the exact same talking points as everyone has gone over with her before. Nico on the other hand had some very cool set up where we could explore HIM growing angry with the gods. I mean, Zeus was the one who killed his mother, no? His father (even with good intentions) just straight up erased his and Bianca's memory completely. Bianca ended up dying not only for a god (Artemis) but also indirectly because of the gods (the scrapyard they have and the robot thingy). And Hades just also straight up attempted to semi-kidnap him and train him up to be the Child of Prophecy for what I can only assume to be his own gain. Not to mention the disrespect children of Hades got at camp. Nico is, as much as I see it, one of the characters with the most reasons to be hostile towards the gods. Right up there with Luke and Ethan for what I see. Unfortunately though that was never explored, purely because Rick either A) didn't have the time or B) couldn't have the antagonist look too good. I'm not yet finished with all the books, so there is a chance that the part about the story being overcomplicated could refer to something else- but as of now I gotta assume it's the "he's from ww2, actually!" thing. Which, honestly? To me, it is much less overcomplicated and more underdeveloped. Nico's "time travel" is, when it boils down to it, just a loose excuse for Rick to have another kid of the Big Three there without anyone breaking their vow. We could have had a cool exploration of how demigod life changed over the decades or an interesting arc of feeling displaced in time. Instead, we got none of it because, frankly said- for Nico as a character right now that backstory just frankly isn't important. Nothing would really change for him as a character if we just push away that time travel thing. All we'd need to say is that he and Bianca got their amnesia in an accident and then BOOM. Nothing would change for their characters at all really. We could easily say that Maria was killed by Zeus together with her unborn child to get Hades to curse the oracle and keep the time line in check. So yeah, to me their backstory is more of an excuse to have them here and is severely underutilized and unexplored- and Bianca is just a dumpster fire overall.
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ca-suffit · 4 months ago
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sorry how long this is, but this fandom is pissing me off so much and I need to rant a little before I explode lol.
-- madeleine (nonchalantly) says of sleeping with a literal nazi, "I was inviting a frightened boy to cradle my tits," and then when louis turns her we see this as a pleasant memory, and I'm supposed to believe someone who could take pity on a nazi (even if he "wasn't dedicated to the cause") and remember him fondly isn't going to be racist? so I'm the weird one for finding claudeine to be a gross ship and being exasperated by seeing edits of them flood my dash? and every time I talk about this on ANY platform, I mostly get ignored and the few people who do interact w my posts are denying it and saying she had to do it to survive, as if she didn't also literally say she grew up rich like 30 seconds prior.
-- a decent chunk of the anti lestat crowd insists he participated in the trial as an act of revenge and can't say his name w/o talking about how they hate him (bc his racism + abuse), and these are the same people going apeshit over ben daniels saying that santiago was gay and in love with armand, as if he isn't one of the most antiblack characters we've met on the show bc he was quite literally eager to put on the trial solely bc he hated louis for falling asleep during one of his performances. and don't get me started on his monologue about claudia's ashes. and yet ppl are excitedly eating ben's interview up. 🙄
-- the narrative literally showing us that lestat has changed since the attempted murder (going off script on the trial in defense of louis & claudia, taking accountability for his abuse, staying silent about the fact that he was the one to save louis & letting him leave w armand when we know how terrifying being alone is for lestat, spending decades living in that shack and eating rats to punish himself vs the hedonistic & decadent lifestyle we saw him living in s1) and the anti lestat crowd claiming this is just him being manipulative and are furious that the writers had louis forgive him. like normally I agree that it's in very poor taste to paint an abuser as sympathetic, but the thing about this show is that these characters are immortal and have all the time in the world to change. like this isn't the writers sweeping it under the rug, they're explicitly acknowledging how horrific lestat's behavior was and there are literally canon glimpses showing us that lestat has become a better person (and I'm sure this will be fleshed out more next season as we'll get his pov) and, like, isn't it a good thing to see an abusive character realize the error of their ways and alter their behavior and become better????? like it's fair to not want to see that, but this is the wrong show to be watching if you can't handle seeing abusers change their ways & being forgiven by the people they've hurt (especially since it's pretty much confirmed armand/daniel is going to happen at some point and given I'm sure they'll be circling around each other, I feel confident that louis will eventually forgive armand too)
ur fine, u can rant! I have a lot in my inbox but I try to get to it all eventually in whatever way.
idk how much u wanted me to comment on anything or not, but I'm gonna add comments and u do whatever u want with it.
a) ur never going to have an easy time criticizing a white woman in fandom. it reflects too much of what fandom is usually made up of and ppl will usually tell u it's misogyny to judge these characters if u ever try (most of the time it's not, but that's a convenient excuse to shut down convos).
the show intentionally makes everyone do p questionable shit, especially the white characters. it doesn't tell u how to feel about it, that's up to u. that makes ppl uncomfortable. it goes further too when it is someone like madeleine, who is otherwise seen in positive ways. it's reflective of real life and that's what scares ppl the most. nobody ever fits in a box of only "good" or "bad." a lot of what the book for IWTV asks too is what defines that anyways? and S1 also said "are we the sum of our worst moments?" so it is constantly asking u that and it is for u to decide and reflect on.
b) white, gay stuff is also gonna be popular in fandoms. ben daniels is also gay irl and his husband just died so there's crossover from that to praising his character bcuz ppl feel sympathy for him. I also think ppl detach more from his actions bcuz he's not romantically linked to the characters he's torturing. ppl also just honestly dgaf about antiblackness anyways so for most ppl it's easy to overlook. which is how we get posts like this.
I mean, u can also like whatever characters u like for any reason. some ppl like characters not bcuz they support what they do, but bcuz they're just enjoyable to watch in performance or connection to the plot or whatever. I think examining santiago after what ben said about his performance is something ppl should be able to do, and again it circles back to the stuff I wrote for madeleine. where does ur (general u) discomfort lie and why? as u said, if it's ppl who dislike lestat then it's worth looking at that too, why are the characters different then?
c) there's sort of 2 things happening for this part. the first is that 2x8 did have pacing issues, for whatever reasons. a lot of ppl felt like it flattened the plot and characters for the sake of making lestat look the best (over armand) and rly shoving it in out of nowhere. the second part is what u said about the themes. I've always figured they were going to explore forgiveness and personal growth, but I also know it isn't going to be easy for ppl to follow. hopefully the full seasons coming do a better job of this but for 2x8 there were a lot of reasons ppl felt crazy about the way it was shown to us. I also agree that other characters will have these journeys with each other too. it was just such a sharp turn for S2 to end on highlighting the white character we've otherwise seen as being p horrible and suddenly saying "it's the brown character who rly did the worst!" I don't think they intended to come across like that but it's how it landed for a lot of ppl. it doesn't mean ppl have an issue with the concept of forgiveness and stuff otherwise. we'll have to see how it goes. but ya there's 2 things going on there for this rn.
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honoviadakai · 9 months ago
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What you favorite Hazbin hotel song says about you 😈🎶😇
(This list includes songs from the pilot as well as a few others that are not official but are near and dear to the fandom's collective heart)
I’m always chasing rainbows 🌈:
…so how’s your relationship with your parents?
You have a good heart but you’re way too hard on yourself
You don’t always have to be busting your ass off, taking breaks is not a crime
Also failing is not the end of the world
I believe in you, please be kinder to yourself
Inside of every demon is a rainbow 🌈 😈:
Golden retriever energy
You are so sweet but so naive
I honestly feel like if this is your fav song, I could spit in your meal and you'd just smile and get a new plate
It's ok to go apeshit
If you did ever get mad I genuinely feel like you'd be absolutely terrifying
But you're such a sweet person, i can't imagine someone pushing you to that point
Inside of every demon is a lost cause/Alastor's reprise 🎶👿:
You're a cynical bastard and you wear that shit like a badge of honor
You're on the same page as Alastor in terms of redemption being impossible/pointless
If this song is your favorite, you laugh at children when they fall over
very loudly
You're the one in your friend group that everyone has to warn about before introducing you to new people
You receive the bombastic side eye so often you smile every time it happens
ADDICT🕸️🚬:
You need a hug
All of the hugs
You're doing your best and I just want you to know I'm proud of you
Vox's Interlude📺🎶:
You like Dubstep
You like Dubstep to a concerning degree
You're also disappointed Vox doesn't have the same voice effect in cannon that he has in the song
You're a Vox simp, but you're really chill about it
Royal Flush🥃♥️♠️♦️♣️:
Hello my fellow Pansexuals and Husk Fans~
If this if your favorite song, you're a Mick Lauer fan and you were sad to hear he wasn't coming back to the official series and it made you even more jaded than you already were(I feel you)
You're also a fan of Johnathan Young and Rock music
You lowkey giggle every time you hear the "every hole is a goal" line
You probably have a sever resting bitch face that scares ppl sometimes, but deep down you're a softy
A jaded softy, but a softy
Radio Play📻🎶:
Hello Alastor fans that lament the recasting of Edward Bosco
Hello Black Gyrph0n fans that think he's not receiving enough recognition
How deep in the financial debt hole are you because of your love of Alastor and new found desire to have a retro 30's aesthetic once this song dropped?
You have good taste in music but I feel like you'd say out of pocket shit on accident
You probably know how to do the Charleston pretty well and that's pretty cool
Redemption arc🙏🎶:
Hello my depressed gifted child burnouts and Elise Lovelock fans
You're a girlboss, you really are, but I need you to take more breaks and drink more water
You strike me as someone who takes the phrase "act your wage" as a suggestion at best
If over thinking was an Olympic sport, you'd win gold, silver ans bronze
stop trying to carrying other people's baggage on top of your own, that's not building character, its building more work for your therapist
Assuming you've even allowed yourself to see one!
Insane🦌🔪:
You're unhinged
like Niffty levels unhinged
but you have good taste in music
You're also a very vocal Alastor fan
You need to be watched 24/7 because you strike me as someone who'd commit war crimes for fun
Eyes on me📺🥲:
You like Techno a normal amount
you're probably a Bo Burnham fan
You also give the vibe that you like anime like Evangalion
as well as the vibe of hiding behind a chill facade even though you're kinda depressed
you also give the impression that you're into enemies to lovers and once sided pining in romance
You ship Vox x Alastor in a wholesome way and you're foaming at the mouth for their backstory
You hate Val(as you should)
Change the order 👑🪽:
You lament that Lucifer doesn't have a British accent
You HEAVILY lament Lucifer not being a heartless asshole
You oh so desperately wanna see Lucifer and Lilith in their prime/as a united power couple
You have slight daddy issues
You're also probably someone who grew up with some religious trauma
You're in your villain arc but it's mostly yo protect yourself
i highly suggest getting a dog, a rubber duck collection and a therapist
Get hooked🚬🦋:
Your search history is not suitable for human eyes
You definitely have daddy issues
You desperately wanna see Val on the poles
You're fun at partied but you cannot be left unsupervised under any circumstances
You radiate bad bitch energy but I feel like you'd apologize to a kindly janitor if you had to walk on a floor they just finished mopping
You can run in heels and I respect that immensely
Smile like you mean it😁🦌:
I get it! You love Alastor! Please lower your voice a tad friend!
It's concerning how quick you'd sell your soul to this man
You like jazz unironically(nice)
You wanna experience one of Al's radio shows
...I'm not entirely sure if you wanna hear it or be the victim...and that deeply concerns me
Use me up🕷️🥲:
You wanna see Angle Dust fuck shit up(same)
You don't make friends easily but you're the loyalest son of a bitch anyone could ever have and more people need to recognize that
You probably had a really rough childhood
You give ppl middle fingers and sass the way Oprah gave out cars back in the day
You just want a hug, someone to say they're proud of you(I'm proud of you friend) and a month long nap
We're sure to drown🐈‍⬛🥃🥺:
Hello again my fellow Pansexuals and Husk fans
Specifically the ones with severe depression, trust issues and think mixing Tequila and monster energy drinks will help with the abandonment issues
yeah, i see you, put the bottle down mf
get therapy, this a threat
You're so cynical that even shadow the hedgehog would ask if you're ok
asking for help doesn't make you weak fam, i get where your coming from but you need a good plucking you prickly cactus
oddly enough, you give the best advice to the few friends you keep in your circle but take none of your own advice
You listen to country rock with lyrics so sad that everyone in the car with you immediately get concerned
definitely a cat person
POP!👁️💥:
You either wanna be stepped on or do the stepping on
You probably watched Black Lagoon and loved Revy
If you don't know what I'm talking about, look her up, that's your type
Low key probably a pyromaniac
You're that one friend that's ALWAYS ready to punch your friend's ex's in the face
Honestly, I feel like you're scrappy enough to fist fight god with the confidence of someone who thinks they have a shot at winning
My machine 🐍 ⚙️:
You were really excited to see Pentious be one of the show's antagonists
You're still a little bitter about not getting your mad scientist, steam punk, snake man
You did love his War General outfit though
You probably really like shows like Arcane
You really wanted 'Enemies to lovers' CherriSnake or platonic/rivals CherriSnake
You probably have reptile as a pet
most likely a snake
Happy day in hell🎶🎤:
You're a basic Broadway bitch but your optimism is a tad infectious so I'll let it slide
You're a tad too optimistic though
Like, to a concerning degree
Someone could punch you and you'd ask them if they were ok despite having a split lip
you're definitely a workaholic
take that PTO sweetie, work will be there when you come back
Hell is forever😇😈:
you either really like Alex Brightman or you LOVE villains
you also love rock
You kicked your feet like a love sick when Adam did the guitar solo bit
Probably a fan of bands like Skillet
You have religious trauma but your coping mechanism is to crack jokes about it
some of them are probably inappropriate
Stayed gone📺🦌:
You ship Vox x Alastor a "normal" amount
You'd sell your soul for Vox and Al to have more duets together
You're probably a Vox simp
If you're not, its cuz you're an Al simp
You giggled at "That's the tea"
You also drooled at Al's demon form towards the end of the song
It starts with sorry🐍🥹:
friend, you are way too forgiving
someone could steal your life's savings and I feel like you'd just let them have it because "they probably need it more"
You were very proud of Pentious
Respectless💅📱:
You radiate chihuahua energy
You are 5'2 or smaller and 90 lbs soaking wet
someone need to make sure you don't run these streets lawless
don't get me wrong
You are absolutely a bad bitch that serves cunt like a 5 star restaurant serves gourmet steak
but you're gonna say the wrong thing to the wrong person one day
you cannot afford to fuck around and find out when they're over 5'9 my friend, sit down please
Whatever it takes🦋🩰:
you're the eldest child of your family aren't you
You don't need to prioritize everyone before yourself!
Love yourself first damn it!
You probably like Milfs or goths
You also probably wish Zestial had more songs
I have a feeling your favorite Disney movie is Encanto...
Poison🚬🕷️🥺:
Holy fuck you need a hug
You're either a survivor of some kind or life has just been kicking you in the balls for no god damn reason
Come here, I'm adopting you and making sure you're actually happy
You're low key an amazing dancer
literally one of the best people to be friends with
Loser Baby🐈‍⬛🕷️:
hello my fellow queers, Keith David fans, Blake Roman fans and Huskerdust shippers
You are a connoisseur of slow burn romance
You're probably a depressed hopeless romantic
friend, if you want the Husker to your dust...the loser to your baby...you gotta talk to people...
go touch grass
you're that one friend who bullies your bestie but that's cuz that your guy's love language
If anyone messed with your bestie, you'd fight that person to the death the way Husk and Angel did to those loan sharks
Hell's greatest dad🪽🦌:
You either beef with ppl for fun or you're a very flamboyant theater kid
Its probably both tbh
You probably fell in love with the blonde short king after this song
You ship Radioapple
you want a sitcom ft Radioapple and you'd sell your soul to get it
Your fav Disney movie is probably Aladdin
You totally play "HaHA! Fuck you..." on repeat
More than anything🪽😭:
So how's your relationship with your dad...
You cried so hard to this song that it scared you
grab the tissues, get your coziest blanket and go get your favorite treat
and some therapy
Welcome to Heaven😇🎶:
Emily is your favorite character
Your gaydar was going off when St. Peter started existing
Your a chill person
A little too chill though…
You might still be an active member of your community
Ya might wanna consider reducing your hours, there is such a thing as too much loyalty
Treat yourself to a vacation
You didn't know😧🪽:
Hello fellow black sheep of the family with severe religious trauma
You freaked the fuck out when the “If Hell is forever then Heaven must be a lie” line dropped
You felt so vindicated after this song and honestly, same
You LOVED Emily by the end of this song
Out for love 💗 🩰:
You like MILFs
You want Carmilla to kick/step on you
You’re either a magical girl fan, a fan of Latin music or both
You cheered so hard for Vaggie at the end you definitely got a noise complaint 🤣
Ready for this🎤⚔️:
You have anxiety
Your favorite character is probably Charlie
Your favorite movie is probably Marry Poppins or something in the same time period/genre
You’ve dealt with Karen’s before and watching Susan become tolerable was so satisfying for you
You want Alastor and Rosie to adopt you
More than anything(reprise):
You're the poster child of sappy hopeless romantics
You cried a little from joy here
You’re definitely not straight
You want this moment, go get yourself a Vaggie cuz you’re definitely gonna be the Charlie of the relationship
Finale🎶🎆:
You're the ultimate theater kid
This song hit all the sweet spots in your depressed brain for you
Let’s be honest, your favorite part of the song was either the Vees or Alastor
It’d your favorite part was with the Vees, your a huge chaos gremlin
You cannot be trusted with information but you’re very fun at parties
If your favorite part was Alastor’s part, get therapy
If you related to that part on a spiritual level, you mask so hard I’d believe you if you said you were born wearing a mask
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atla-confessions · 4 months ago
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Hi, it's the Rozin anon. Crawled out from my w40k obsession back into my ATLA phase because of Roku's novel. I love that little twerp, what can I say to justify myself? (Sozin too, mwah *throws him into a blender*)
Came here to complain again. Shocker, I know. And I think I figured out why so little people actually took Rozin seriously and haven't reduced into a fandom joke, like 90% of the fandom did. It's because ATLA fans don't see Roku (and Sozin) as characters of their own too. They don't take them seriously and even had shown their clear dislike for the characters. It's understandable in Sozin's case. A bad guy, an imperialist, a traitor, a closeted bigot. But I, to this day, had never understood the hate surrounding Roku.
Seriously, what did this guy do? Left Sozin alone after threatening him? Killing Sozin would've brought disastrous consequences, because he is a fire lord who, presumably, has already earned nation's loyalty to him. Killing him would've caused so much pain in the ass to the future avatars as well. Besides, this is literally exactly what everyone's beloved Kyoshi did with her fire lord problem. "But Chin the-!" She literally didn't do anything until he came to her land. How many people had Chin's army killed before she stepped in? How many villages and towns had he pillaged before she stepped in? I know the avatar is a human and literally can't be an omnipresent beacon of justice, stopping evil no matter where it is, but... Come on, girl! Also, I don't care what you say, but, that's not murder. I played Ace Attorney, I can prove Kyoshi's innocence whatever she likes it/agrees with me or not.
The volcano death? Volcanoes are fucking terrifying, man! The Yellowstone Volcanoes used to give me NIGHTMARES when I was a kid. Often times, the lava is not even the worst part. The ash fall, which would lead to food shortage and therefore massive famine, the lava coming into contact with water producing toxic gases, the area being a hell on Earth in the foreseeable future, the earthquakes, the tsunamis! And Roku had to keep track of ALL OF THOSE THINGS AT THE SAME TIME. Even if people were already on the boats, they could still had been hit by a massive wave generated by another eruption. "But Aang-!" His volcano was on land and a bit smaller. Also he had to deal with only one. Roku had to deal with two at same time, that were in the close proximity with each other, all on the same small island. No wonder Sozin came to help.
And, okay. All of the points I mentioned had already been brought up by other people when defending Roku. But, now we finally have the Roku centric novels! Yay! Finally, Roku fans won't have to read dumb shit being said about their favorite charact-
Aaaaaand people are now freaking out over the leaks! I'm not going to spoil anything here, but just... Guys... Can we PLEASE not gatekeep fucking BENDING??? Your fave won't die or become irrelevant just because another character can do what they can. Maybe focus on something actually unique and important of theirs, like, idk, their personality??? Their relationship with other characters??? How pretty/sexy they are??
Anyway, I'm pissed off and now I'll go and draw young Roku in a cow print bikini. Femboy Roku agenda, idc anymore, I'm anon, what are you gonna do to me?
X
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disasterbuck · 7 months ago
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WIP W Tuesday ? (I don't need an excuse to post, do I?)
sorry but I fell in love tonight
Sitting on Eddie's couch with his head on his best friend's shoulder, Buck was so comfortable he never wanted to move ever again. He'd come over to hang out for dinner and that quickly turned into the whole evening. Once Christopher had gone to bed, Buck and Eddie put on a show that was a bit too mature for Chris to watch and settled in together cozily.
As the second episode they'd watched ended, Eddie reached out to click back so it wouldn't auto play the next one. Buck swallowed a sigh; he wasn't ready to leave yet.
"Are you asleep?" Eddie whispered, and Buck realised that Eddie couldn't see his face from this angle.
Should he pretend to be asleep? What would Eddie do if he did? Would he stay there, letting Buck lean on him all night, or would he gently move him off and get a blanket? More likely, Eddie would shake him awake and tell him it was time to go home.
"Yeah," Buck said softly. "I'm awake."
Eddie snorted. "Are you sure? Cause that wasn't my question."
"What? Oh." Buck picked his head up from Eddie's shoulder and rubbed at his eyes. "Sorry. Guess I was drifting off a bit there."
"It's okay," Eddie said softly. "I guess you probably wanna head home now, huh?"
"Sure, if you want me to," Buck said, stretching his arms above his head.
"What if I don't want you to?"
Buck lowered his arms slowly and then turned to look at his friend. Had he heard him correctly? Eddie was looking at him cautiously, expectantly.
"I can stay if you want," Buck said.
"Sure," Eddie agreed with a nod. "Probably best not to go driving when you're this tired, anyway."
"Right." Buck looked away. Of course Eddie was just wanting to keep him safe. "Good thinking."
A hand touched his arm and Buck looked down in surprise, then up at Eddie. The other man was looking at him with an expression Buck didn't think he'd ever seen before. There was something open and vulnerable about it. It felt… significant.
Eddie swallowed before he spoke. "I'm in love with you."
Buck felt the floor slip out from underneath him. His heart lurched in his chest and he felt dizzy.
"Sorry," Eddie added.
"What?" Buck blurted.
"I'm sorry," Eddie repeated, pulling his hand back. "I just… I don't know. I felt like I had to say it. Like you deserved to know."
Buck felt like his body was on fire. He wanted to throw himself onto Eddie, but he didn't want to terrify him. And Eddie already looked pretty terrified.
"Why are you sorry?" Buck asked, because he felt that that was a pretty important point to clarify.
"Because… This could make things awkward," Eddie mumbled.
Now it was Buck's turn to snort. Eddie looked up at him sharply, scowling, and Buck knew he felt like he was being laughed at so he quickly held his hands up.
"Sorry, no," he said. "Just… I'm in love with you too."
-
+ tagging people for the first time 🥰
😘
@dluoser @taketheplanspinitsideways @loudenthusiastic @wallywise @mxrcjqckspnchqsc
@i-am-married-to-my-fandom @therosesaredying @stillfuckingtired @classtrialguru @speggle
@awesome-igi @natnuszsstuff @olliesrants @crazyfangirlallert @delirium1995
@brah3280 @meanceclosetohell @anythingeverythingallofthetime @izzysbeans
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scummy-writes · 10 months ago
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Scum talks about OCs
In this I'm just going to go over my Ocs in sections of their own. I'm not really using a special Oc template, I'm just talking about them and what fics they appear in, because to be blunt, I do write 'reader inserts', but some fics are written with these ocs in mind even if they're not detailed out specifically.
I'm just chatting about for fun, this will not change how I write currently. I would not expect fanfics about these characters specifically.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Amélie - Drawn by @beni-draw-ikemen-please. (Full picture is her in a chair with Isaac sittin on the arm of it, and Arthur resting his head on her lap <3 I love it)
Anju, made with a Picrew here. I think her expression is a bit too gentle here, and she would mainly wear warmer yellows or cool toned blues, not the shirt in the image.
SS from Prince of my WIP OC for it, since she's fuckin impossible to make on picrews. Her current name is Constance.
I am honestly surprised people showed some interest in this, so bear with me through my bumbling please. A lot of these say 'mc' but they are 'reader insert' fics still. Previous fandoms had 'mc' interchangable with 'reader' so...
If you have any questions, feel free to ask, just know I might not have all the answered.
╰❧ Amélie
Amélie has been around for a few years, and Beni has been a saint for letting me comm her to draw her. Because of this, I was able to make a character profile for her Here. Additionally, a much older one Here that details some vague things about her past, and including her past with Sebastian (Childhood friends).
-> Fanfics she has been 'in': Breathless Discoveries (Isaac/Mc), Mental Gravity (Isaac/Mc), Blessed Accidents (Isaac/Mc), Exercise in Restraint (Isaac/Mc), Temptations (Arthur/Mc), A Helping Hand (Arthur/Mc), His (Theo/Mc), Playful Punishments [vaguely] (Isaac/Mc/Arthur), Midnight Impulses [Vaguely] (Isaac/Mc/Arthur), Musings (Isaac/Mc), Oral Prompt with Isaac, First Steps (Isaac/Mc), The Talk (Isaac/Mc), The Shirt Thief (Isaac/Mc), Isaac Overworking (Isaac/Mc/Arthur), Awkward Dates (Isaac/Mc), and likely some other small drabbles I have missed...!
─❧ Summary: (Brief mentions of abuse/SA/Trauma but not explicit details)
A lot of her general background is covered in the second character profile I linked above. It sounds vague, and well! That is because it is a bit traumatic. I don't want to gloss over the fact that she has been through a lot, primarily SA, but I don't like focusing entirely on it to where that is the Only thing about her. Her previous job was ... an 'idol'? I never fleshed it out fully, due to self embarassment, but I wanted her to be a singer with a 'small' following, who got connected with shitty producers and signed a contract way too young without understanding the full implications of it, which caused most of her money to not actually be Hers. Due to her parents strongly against her career choice, going as far as rushing a contract ended up having her cut off from her family. With Sebastian gone, her support network disappeared completely.
She Vaguely goes over this in Patchworked Pieces (be mindful of tags), which was supposed to be a full fanfic detailing her story, but I am not meant for long fanfics at all so I posted what scenes I had typed enough with. on the chapter On Failed Attempts, she details a bit more of her experiences.
How she met Comte was through the normal opening of visiting the muesuem. She did it under distress and wanting a distraction, she was weighing options and considing some pretty awful things! I like to think Comte could tell she was beside herself and trying to calm down a little. I like to think he could sense the distress and the thing she was contemplating, and led her back to the mansion.
Which! Is rocky. She's terrified of everyone, until she sees Sebastian, and he helps ease her into her mansion life. She never tells Sebastian what she went through, due to worries and fears that he would manage to blame himself. So in her story, he never finds out.
Isaac is the primary person who knows some details, but not everything. She'd tell both him and Arthur some bare minimums, just so that when things got intimate, her panic attacks for 'random' reasons wouldn't make them believe it was because of them.
As for how they all entangle with each other? Well... Amélie is not what brings them together, necessarily.
Before she arrives, Arthur attempts to get close to Isaac. It is platonic at first, perhaps he had a crush on him but waves it off. But alcohol is introduced, they start 'drinking' together (Isaac is still a lightweight so he barely builds up his tolerance, mostly keeps Arthur some company), and...They get too tipsy and adventurous with each other. Arthur gets ashamed immediately. Not out of doing things with another man, because it was clear he was using Isaac to get over some trauma. So he avoids, hides, and their friendship crumbles.
And after that is when Amélie stumbles into the mansion.
Her friendship with Isaac is the most prevelant. And after getting on a better start with Arthur, they end up slowly getting entangled with each other. Isaac, unfortunately, deals with the brunt of her panic attacks. Finds scars, attempts to heal them.
It's through healing that they all twine together. Helping each other face their traumas, face what happened between them all.
Ironically, her love for singing was bounced in and out of the story. I wanted a few scenes where she tries to play in one of the many secluded rooms in the mansion- finds an old piano while cleaning, places a few notes. But I don't think she'd be able to any time soon. I think she would need a break for a year or two, before she started exploring music again. Or anything super creative.
I like to imagine that she is friends with a majority of the residents. When she is faring better, she paints with Leonardo and Vincent. She listens to Mozart play, reads what Dazai and Arthur write, so on so forth. I want her to live in a house with Arthur and Isaac, later on, visiting the mansion weekly or every two weeks, happy with her new life.
Sometimes I pair her with Theo, because I think they could help each other, but I think she is fated to be with Isaac and Arthur.
In AUs, I like to imagine Anju as her older friend. Anju does not tolerate a lot of bullshit with Amélie, and would be a bit like a guard dog. But. an unassuming one. She would treat Arthur very harshly until he proves himself. (I am unsure if I ever posted it, but I wrote a few chapters to go with This Au Fic for Isaac week. The second chapter, Anju was supposed to be a witch to help Amélie out after some events [was gonna have Isaac die and then it turn into a reincarnation au thing where they meet again in modern day, and in modern day Anju was gonna be around], and Anju has to help her move forward.)
I've been typing this on and off for a few hours and I am struggling with some details HAHA for now, I will stop here. She's the one OC that has a lot out there for her.
Oh. Amélie is not her 'real' name, but it is now. I am unsure if it is in poor taste or not, but in an attempt to heal she abandoned a lot of her old life. Not Herself, but trying to let go of the past until she could confront it more. She goes by Amélie until the end of her days, and only Sebas and likely Comte know her old name.
╰❧ Anju
-> Fanfics she's been 'in': Training Theo (Theo/Reader)
─❧ Summary: (Vague mentions of parental issues)
OoooOOoooOh Anju....anju....wails.
She is such a complicated Oc for me. She was originally for Shingen in ikes*n (i dont want this on the tags on accident). I still debate if the character she is now still stems from that relationship or not. Because if so, that means she left the past and came back to the present because her and Shingen didn't work out. Not in a TERRIBLE way but probably a sad mutual understanding.
It's either that, or she's just pretty sour from general past relationships not working out.
I like to imagine that she is in her thirties, and that she lives in a neighborhood where everyone knows each other in friendly ways. She is a 'seamstress' just due to how Sengoku has that set up for the Mc. I decied that her grandmother taught her how to sew, and her grandmother owned a small shop to repair peoples clothes and sew clothes for commission as well (i know nothing about how this works so). She would help her grandmother at her shop, and later on when her grandmother passed, she would take over the shop.
As for her parents, I never fully fleshed them out. I just know her mother was constantly comparing herself to other children/people around her, and that their relationship dissolved to the point of Anju refusing to aknowledge her as a mother any longer. The crux of this would cause Anju to move the shop to a different location completely to sever ties. (not move physically, but open another shop elsewhere after funds were saved with the same name).
For Vamp, she relocates her ass to France for Reasons. And here is where it is... well. I don't think a shop like this could exist, but i wish it would. pls spare me from laughs HAHA
The shop I always imagined is the type where the ground floor is the shop, and upstairs is where Anju lives. So upstairs would house her kitchen, living room, and Bedroom and bathroom, a balcony connected to the kitchen would be. great. Lower floor would have the shop, her sewing area, a room to hang up comms and etc, and the 'front' of the shop. Front of the shop is the porch and the actual like...foyer area....of the shop.
She spends a lot of her time sitting in the foyer area at a desk, if she is not actively working on sewing. .....I like to imagine she has a small sitting area set up there for people (children, family, friends, partners, etc) waiting while whoever she is working on measurements and etc with is getting their stuff. With....a lil coffee/tea area....very very small like a coffee maker and some stuff....but cozy vibes... (and she wanted a coffee machine near her while working).
She'll sit on the porch often in the mornings while waiting for customers or going through shop bills and whatever, and that is how she meets Arthur in a modern day setting. By him taking 'Vic' (or whatever pet he is on now) on a walk, Vic escaping, and running up to Anju because he wants pets HAHA.
For first meeting, Anju thinks Arthur is cute, but recognizes the fuckboy tendances. However, i feel like at this point of living as a vampire for so long, Arthur wouldn't be how he is in the game currently. As in, not entirely as self destructive and a smidgen more at peace with himself, but still has the tendencies. She doesn't think too much on the meeting, loves Vic though, and goes from there...
But Arthur doesn't. He gets hung up on her a little, and finds excuses to run into her a bit more. Nothing crazy, but primarily just walking Vic by there and seeing if he can catch her on the porch again, waving, exchanging greetings and pets for Vic. It would turn into him eventually finding an excuse to get some clothing mended, which she can very easily tell is bullshit, but she entertains it because... he's respectful the whole time. She enjoys the company and the innocent flirting.
It comes to a clusterfuck when they spot each other at a bar though. Where he sees how differently she's dressed, where it's clear she's looking for one night stands and nothing else. (He is also alarmed at her smoking HAHA). Arthur doesn't do much with this information, but she immediately tries shutting him out because. Well, she isn't ashamed to have casual sex with others, but she doesn't want the fuckboy tendancies to come back for him. She doesn't want this fake relationship to delve into sex and nothing more. So she puts up walls, and Arthur has to slowly take them down. And it is a rocky thing, because Anju is so independant and refuses to rely on anyone else, so it's a LOT of trouble HAHA a lot of dramatics.
They do fuck, because well they both enjoy sex so why not!!!!! but ah. it's complicated. I think I have a scene of that somewhere. I cannot remember if I have that happen before or after him visiting her home/shop at night when he's drunk. I think it was before.
But Arthur was supposed to go to her place, drunk, because she has such a schedule with her shop/hobbies that it's easy to piece together that she's home, and she essentially lets him stay over in pity because he's wailing about messing up his friendship with Theo.
From there it turns into awkward, more up in the air things. I played with her getting with Arthur only, Theo only, Arthur and Theo, or even Vincent! But the Arthur/Theo subplot would have been too similar to the Isaac/Arthur one in Amélie's story. (Sorry for causing you so much distress, Arthur).
I like to imagine her in her shop. Arthur flirting with her while the neighborhood granny laughs at her attempts to ignore the flirting.
╰❧ Constance
-> Fanfics she's been 'in': Sinking (Gilbert/Reader) [Descriptions of Self Harm], First Time (Gilbert/Reader), Chev comforts Mc
─❧ Summary: (Mentions of self harm, abuse)
Constance....! Is still a running name. I may change it, I may not. I'm unsure about her appearance, I know I want her to have the split hair and to dress in similar colors though, but her eyecolor I am so conflicted on...
But...! Her story is still being fleshed out, and she has changed a lot. She is now strictly for Gilbert, whereas she was supposed to be a flexible oc for either Clavis or Gilbert. (Maybe she still could be?)
So far, her story is still like Emma's so far. her and Rio friends for years, Akatsuki taking her in, etc. In my mind, she doesn't know who her parents are and is somewhat in peace of that.
I've bounced around a lot with her though, to where the Rio and Akatsuki being in her BG makes little sense. i've wanted her to be someone who writes and sings, but does not preform and instead has a friend that preforms for her. Where they have private sessions of Constance singing and exampling some of the dancing to her friend, and later on watching her friend preform the songs and bringing her visions to life. (i like this a lot but it feels...odd.)
I want her carrying a notebook around the palace, filled with her drawings and songwriting. Far in the journal, there is drawings of Gilbert- not because she knows him, but because long before she saw him slinking around Rhodolite and drew him out of facination of how he looked (did not piece together he was a Scary Dude). (would add a lot of fuel to fire if anyone saw those drawings COUGHS)
In another bouncing, I have her as a secret wrtier/artist that writes songs that are never preformed. I thought it would be funny if she wrote the erotica that Jin apparently reads??? I can never fgure out if thats canon or not because i never see it Mentioend in the game.
In both possible backgrounds for her, she is still a quiet and reserved person who suffers from a lot of depression, and struggles with herself a lot. The two toned hair was for fun at first, but now I'm realizing it would probably be a good symbol for her inner issues. How she has a lot of 'darkness' inside of her, that she feels disgusted by and upset with, while there is a purity she wishes she had (but fails to come to terms with how that is unreasonable).
To be paired with Clavis, she was supposed to be much more shy, and his antics were supposed to draw her out of her shell more.
But now it's more solidifies that she will be primarily paired with Gilbert due to the purity/darkness thing. She is a little dramatic in her thoughts with that, and is now a bit more serious toned rather than her shyness being played for antics.
She believes Gilbert over his refusal to 'lie', and that draws her in a lot.
Discussion of self harming/SA, when text is blue I am finished.
Something I am struggling with is that with many Ocs, i often have them go through some sexual trauma just due to it being an outlet for myself (i have also had sexual trauma). This may be why you see some themes of this in some fanfics I write, where there is something the reader is struggling with sexually and the suitor is extremely patient with them- it's usually tied to stuff like this (unsure of how obvious that is since no one ever says anything! which feels like an act of kindness, if it is obvious).
For her, I am struggling with adding that into her background as something that is fairly recent with her. Rio doesn't know, she refuses to tell him, and his fondness of her and constantly...hm...i don't mean this poorly, but building her up to be so 'perfect' sometimes causes a lot of issues when she reflects on herself, and she uses those words against herself often.
I don't know if the self harm would be. Due to that SA event or not. I don't know if this is soemthing that has plagued her for years, or if it spiked as her emotions got out of control.
Gilbert would not know. I don't really care if JP spoilers suggest otherwise, as there are already hints that make it clear he doesn't know Everything (he just knows a Lot). A lot of their relationship would be them struggling with self harm and the SA. A lot of her trust gets put into him (even if she dislikes it), because he doesn't lie to her like others do, and it is a comfort. (blah blah gilbert does lie blah blah)
It's hard to explain their relationship. I assume i'll have more figured out as his route comes out. Right now, she's who I imagine when I write some stuff with him, but not all of it.
With Clavis, the relationship would have been more healthy, and so would she. I think she would still struggle with both things, as it could be used as a mutual understanding when they discuss needing to be loved fully and not half-heartedly.
That is a rough gist of what I have for her? I have been typing this for hours and I am running out of steam.
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Annnd....That is that! At least for now. Another detail I will share for all of them is that they are all bi :) All my ocs are always bi.
Again, you guys are free to ask questions. I may update this over time as well. I don't really want criticisms for my ocs though since you guys don't actually deal with them past them popping up as the voice for some reader insert fics. they just sorta rot in my brain and I get comms of them at times.
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