#cause I myself am not stupid
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sl33py-g4m3r Ā· 6 months ago
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deleted the sleep schedule complaining cause I've been complaining about it too much~~ based on the way things work with me tho I'll work my way back around eventually~~
sorry for complaining about it so much~~
thought of deleting the magnetite question post but that was for a bit of fun thinking and (hopefully) didn't show incompetence with a series I hold so dear~~
or the before bed (what do these skills do) post where I rant and looked them up anyway.... i deeply worry about coming off as stupid
I now worry I've ether revealed too much information or have made myself seem incompetent to some degree~~
now anxiety is gnawing at me trying to complete a stupid cycle I'm trapped in~~~ I'd often delete my blog cause I feel like I've revealed too much personal stuff~~ but I always come back after a while anyway, different username, same walpaper, theme, and icon... so realistically there's no point in nuking it~~~
I wonder if there are people at the monastery that get too distracted studying relics that they also lose track of time and do what i do? and are constantly backwards sleep schedule wise as a result?
of course anyone of any alignment could probably get their sleeping patterns weird; and to be honest it's probably tied more to morality than anything else tho..... begs the question, which alignment would be more likely to constantly flip flop their sleeping schedule?
I'm assuming the day/night cycle is normal in smt iv? in mikado at least perhaps.... Does Mikado have seasons? I'd like to see winter~~~ Lake Mikado frozen over~~~ snow and ice everywhere~~
if you hide in a pile of snow to scare someone what's the likelihood that you'll die? fun isn't worth death methinks~~
Would the samurai uniforms change for winter in that case? Or is it just one standard all purpose one?
I bet Iā€™m so short that if I wore a coat, it would drag the groundā€¦ unless theyā€™re fitted per person. Kinda doubt it tho. Cause it seems they get the outfits immediately after the gauntlet riteā€¦
Now imagining that the town would be decked out for whatever holidays they celebrate in Mikado~~ but what holidays would that be? Christian ones? Do we ever get any info on things such as this?
Interesting ~~~
From an anxious rant; into ā€˜that would be neat if we got more elaboration on thisā€™
Idk how my mind works am sorry~~~ least Iā€™m not anxious in this moment anymore ~~ lol.
Samurai training in the middle of a blizzard? If they train in places on the surface and itā€™s not just excursion into narakuā€¦
Iā€™ve somehow fused the anxiety with ā€˜thisā€™ll be neatā€™ and am not anxious anymore what happened here?
Idk what this post is am sorry, lol. Stuff lately has just been ā€˜stream of consciousness with updatesā€™
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lazylittledragon Ā· 2 months ago
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i need guenhwyvar to be Cat so bad
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daily-odile Ā· 11 months ago
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idk if you've watched any of Jello's ISAT streams but
Odile wearing Jordans
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based on that one twitter post
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chickenoptyrx Ā· 1 year ago
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....I just wanted to draw gators :T at this point these 2 are more 'a representation of my last 2 brain cells' then they are actual characters šŸ˜…
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angelpuns Ā· 7 days ago
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I wish I could be very normal and ' enjoy each day as it comes' and 'live in the moment' but unfortunately if I do that how will I be prepared for the future in which I am more miserable???
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dont-offend-the-bees Ā· 3 months ago
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Anyone else just not feeling like a real person much lately?
#'lately' he says#as if he's not been feeling this way for the last 28 years#idk man#maybe it's bc I'm getting older and so are the people i hang/chat with#but it feels like everyone else has a real life and real interests and experiences and things to say#and I'm some kind of hollow scarecrow person just full of memory loss and sadness#i feel very stupid and very boring#which i know is too harsh. and i know i should be kinder to myself bc life and covid and shit can't have helped the brain situation#and i should absolutely believe my friends when they say they wanna hang with me bc it's mean not to take them at their word#but I'm still like... why though?#genuinely what's the appeal of being around me. my head is empty i have nothing to add and I'm not interesting or that funny#it's been creeping up on me. this feeling like i just genuinely have nothing to offer.#i don't even know who i am#except for a person who like. lives vicariously through fictional characters experiencing feelings I've never had cause to feel#i can relate to emotions SO vividly except i myself haven't even felt the half of them#i just sort of quietly exist somewhere on the spectrum between content and discontent#with occasional drops into the despair zone#and even if the stuff i think is keeping me here went away tomorrow. like if mum stopped being an issue and i was free#like... what would i even do?#i don't even know how to want something#anyway. this has been morning mental breakdowns with newt#I'm going to go make some made up guys live the life i haven't now#mr. bees speaks#negative
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rapidhighway Ā· 2 months ago
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venting like an idiot
the main reason i dont wanna go back to uni is that i feel like i've completely embarrassed myself last year. idk, i feel horrified at the thought of returning and looking these people in the eye. i didn't do anything, i was lazy and barely finished my projects and the only way to redeem myself somehow would be to come back with some new energy and work hard. i didn't even really get a job this summer because i really wanted to rest, cause i thought i would drop out. and i just feel worse, i feel even more tired
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brainworms-all-night-long Ā· 6 months ago
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Fighting for my life here, drawing these hands took TWO fucking hours
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silly-trans-guy Ā· 8 months ago
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Okay but we got Vox and Velvette fighting with someone in their songs like Vox and Alastor, and then Velvette and Carmila Carmine Soo like I think we should have Valentino and Husk sing like hear me out, think of it as Valentino either begining a song and then Husk sings while like trying to protect angel dust or something (like how Vox was singing and then Alastor interrupted the song by also singing) or you can think of it as Valentino about to hurt angel dust or something then Husk just starts singing about how he should get the fuck away or some shit (like uh how while Velvette was talking to Zestial and Carmila interrupted her by singing) you know like we should have it and if it isn't him beefing with Husk then let it be him beefing with angel dust or someone just give me a song with him beefing with someone since the only song he sings in (or at least I think if I'm wrong tell me) was at the final with Vox which I loved by the way I mean they we're so cute singing together at least I just kinda want to hear Valentino sing more is basically what's happening I do want to hear all the vees sing more which is like getting me onto my other thing I want can we have all the vees sing a villain song all together like I'm sure they'd all sound great together like I would love to see it man.
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narmothewraith Ā· 4 months ago
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How I imagine myself (aka want to be)
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Vent in the tags (sorry in advance)
#Honestly almost cried while sketching this#I feel so stupid#Like why did I agree to wait until i'm 25 to transition#Oh wait I know#Because I love my parents to much and they only really support me if I a) am 25 or b) my mental health is really really bad#Also it's that part of my mind that's doubting everything. That it's just a phase. That i'm not actually transmasc#Also the psychologist I used to go to supported the idea to wait till 25 and was talking about some whos she knew#And how that girl wanted to be a boy but she got a boyfriend and she didn't want to anymore#Or that boy who wanted to be a girl but later found his identity and was secure in his agab#And she kept saying/asking; ā€œWould you be able to accept to be just a manly woman??ā€ And similar questions#And I know it's stupid but because of it I just keep questioning myself over and over#Because now i'm especially scared it's something I grow out off#But I just want to look in a mirror and be happy#And while I do like my clothing. I want other stuff but I feel goddam dysphoric in that#Only things I can change about me is piercings and my hair but even that is something my parents aren't really keen of#Atleast the length is something they are okay with but if it's kinda more a ā€œā€man's styleā€œā€ and I hear only ā€œoh my god it's so manly"#Honestly I just hate that i'm to scared to do anything about it#All the while I suffer#cause I just cant get out of the house without a binder. Always checking how my profile looks like. Crying when its not how I want it to be#Or almost crying when my mom says ā€œthat size is better for a girl like you because other wise it looks boyishā€ even when I confided in her#transmasc#transgender#trans artwork#Trans#Artists on tumbr#Lgbt#my art <3#my own post
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james-spooky Ā· 2 months ago
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this is a test
#iā€™m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters thatā€™s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring letā€™s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk iā€™m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad thatā€™s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isnā€™t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw thereā€™s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i donā€™t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like iā€™m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much itā€™s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books theyā€™re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry thatā€™s made everything a bit messy. i shouldā€™ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think youā€™re being annoying i literally donā€™t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now itā€™s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i donā€™t really have any thoughts to put here idk if weā€™re halfway ermmmm omg itā€™s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. itā€™s wild how itā€™s basically almost christmas. like#what. thatā€™s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesnā€™t crash or#smth cause iā€™ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but iā€™ve saved it and holy jesus itā€™s a lot of text im just sat here giggling thereā€™s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldnā€™t that be crazy) so wait thereā€™s 140#haracters and 30 tags so whatā€™s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i havenā€™t done maths lessons in two and a half years iā€™ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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bunnyboy-juice Ā· 1 month ago
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my best friend just told me she's gonna show me her regular ass grocery order when she gets home and i seriously cheered as if she said she was coming over Right Now
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knotst3r1l3 Ā· 4 months ago
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curse these wretched organs vro what the Fuck man !!!!!!!
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courtjesterrr Ā· 5 months ago
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brain: ok, you need to start working on the taocc episode animatic.
me: yeah yeah, dw, i got it šŸ˜Ž
also me: *spends all day coming up with a character for a comic series i came up with*
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emmenai-kalliston Ā· 1 month ago
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starting to get a new crush oops...
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lilowoof Ā· 3 months ago
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ngl gamers, I think I'm gonna inevitably lose to the hormones and depression in the near future XD
Can't bring myself to be active cause I'm using a lot of energy to not vent post all the time. But fuck it, into the tags I go!
#I want NO MESSAGES regarding this. let me just be upset and alone#you spend most of your life trying to not succumb to sick brain but honestly I don't think it's worth it in the long run#my life is for better or worse....decent. but I've lost the drive and happiness to really DO anything a long time ago. like whats the point#the only reason I havent killed myself yet is cause Im too lazy (and dont have access to a gun for a quick getaway)#and I'm saying all this DESPITE having stuff to look forward to in the near future. it's like AUGH whats the POINT IM always gonna suffer#why does mental health take such a toll on ppl. this shit sucks ass. and I still feel excited for things in the future too? somehow?#but I also really want to die so. idk man. idk. maybe if I fall in love with someone then I can be distracted but all my walls are up#what's the point in anything anymore. *I* have to take the steps to improve myself and my situation#and I'd rather die. anyways who wants to make a pact that once we reach 40 we will marry each other#that might be fun#also my brain has gotten so bad that I am literally considering joining a hiking club to get out more and I FUCKING HATE HIKING#but I should probably do something out of my comfort zone to push myself and who knows maybe I will find a new passion#but let me tell you about the anxiety - oh BOY it's starting to act up again. hahahha#ah well sometimes you just need to scream your feelings out in the tags to get a lil clarity from the brain fog#one day I will fucking die/kill myself but for now I'll just try to make the best out of. whatever the hell this stupid life is. *shrug*#(but hey if any professional hitmen are reading this. feel free to. heh. you know ;) )#also I need to get back to art#gotta do my paid work and that one pic I lined months ago. and clay stuff *continues to bed rot another week because hahahahahahaha*#ah I wish I didn't fail all those years ago. then I would be free. I wish I was free#ok goodnight I promised myself that I would do paid work when I wake up tomorrow so hopefully no more migraines -pray emoji-
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