#cause I had very long passions in the past as well and like for Bleach only discovering (late) Nar replaced it

[ribbonverse]

y u do dis?

Fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/57162358

I feel like by the end of the Soul Society arc, the Bleach universe already had plenty of width, and what it needed going forward was more depth. Instead it kept piling powers upon powers and retcons kept accumulating on top of reveals. And for what?

To use an in-universe metaphor, Bleach lost its heart and became a Hollow long ago, and has been haunting the people who loved it ever since. That's the case for me, at least. It's very frustrating to me that a great series with a ton of potential was completely squandered because the author is apparently allergic to relationships or something.

Anyway, I think it's fair to say that along with just being Really Cool, Bleach until the end of the Soul Society arc had an emotional core that appealed to many people. It was pretty clear that Ichigo wasn't just saving Rukia because he felt it was his duty or whatever. He was saving someone who completely changed his life on multiple levels, including an emotional one, and he was saving her because he felt very passionately about it. This was clear because it was set up in the previous story arc, starting all the way in chapter 1.

But instead of what it was actually set up as, the story of Bleach until the end of the Soul Society arc became "boy meets girl, girl saves boy and his family by giving him her powers, boy and girl work together and become close, girl gets in trouble and is going to get executed, boy pushes himself to a breaking point and corrupts his soul to obtain the power to save girl, gets almost killed many times but finally saves girl (or thereabouts), boy and girl go their separate ways as friends."

A pretty ridiculous ending if you ask me, but it had to happen because it was in the script.

Hey, what's that on the ground there, is that the script? Let's have a look, shall we.

Huh? The main character doesn't get a moment's rest before being targeted by the Bad Guys and is now basically useless? And two seconds after obtaining the One Ring Hōgyoku that was supposed make his Hollow experiments a success, Aizen already has his own Budget Gotei 13, which is just the Captains and no other characters, and none of them are interesting because they're literally just self-centered and unhinged Bad Guys with no other purpose than being antagonists?

And when they're not out antagonizing the Main Character, they're just waiting for him in Budget Soul Society, a dimension that's literally just an empty desert with some simple geometric shapes passing for buildings here and there, like someone made their first 3D models in Blender and tried to create their own MMO?

And why's everyone got Spanish names all of a sudden? Where's all the cool Japanese stuff?

Wait, what's this? The girl that the boy almost destroyed his soul in order to save is back, and now she's grabbing him and shoving his face at the Budget Magical Girl and basically telling them to kiss? It's like she broke the fourth wall, saw that people were shipping her with the Main Character, and said "NOPE".

But I thought Bleach wasn't about relationships anymore, and now we're going with one of the least likely pairings in this particular universe?

Well, it's in the script, so it had to happen.

The so-called story really goes off the rails as time goes on. I don't even know how many people actually cared about Bleach past a certain point, because people don't keep reading/watching stuff they don't care about. And as a consequence, the fans that are left after a while are the ones who think the current state of the work is actually good for some reason.

Basically what I'm saying is, f the script, 'cause it's really dumb. I guess that's the essence of fanfiction a lot of the time.

In slightly less ranty terms

It seems to me that it became a less-than-generic, angsty series about endlessly fighting for some nebulous reason that everyone's long forgotten about, where Ichigo is stuck in an infinite loop of wearing a scared or desperate expression because he's failing, then getting a powerup, and either winning or losing before repeating the cycle. And the impressive part is that all of this happens without any major emotional significance or growth as a person.

It also didn't help that I found the attempts at Spanish influence that appeared post-Soul Society to be supremely uninteresting and strangely executed. It's basically just words that are entirely unconnected to the rest of the universe, making them feel really out of place.

The Japanese stuff, the characters and the exploration of certain aspects of the Shinigami world was what made things so fascinating. But then everyone put on these white Halloween masks and started playing Hollows, like someone was inspired by the least intersting parts of the first story arc and begun writing bad fanfiction (no offense).

The setting changed from an actual Society to a literal desert, the only purpose of which is to contain the Bad Guys that the Protagonist needs to defeat, like a cheaply made RPG where there's only one significant landmark in the entire game world and enemies just keep spawning on a flat field for the players to grind until they level up.

What's the point of an uninhabited place that's only populated by hostile NPCs with overinflated egos and nothing of interest to say? If I ever want to subject myself to that, I'll go play a Souls game (note: I'm not actually going to do that, so don't call the hotline. I'm not prone to self-harm).

Not that Soul Society was a masterpiece of worldbuilding either. Pac-Man, anyone? You could probably write a melancholy song titled The Walls of Seireitei in which Kenpachi laments how he can never find a worthy opponent in this endless maze, and if only he was programmed to have the ability to jump he might be able to escape this fresh hell. But the game only has quick-time events, so he can only jump at pre-determined points in the story.

I guess these days you could have an AI write and compose that song for you, and it would be pretty good.

But in any case, you can look at almost anything other than the empty environments in Soul Society and notice that at least an effort was made. Inspiration was taken, there was some really Cool Stuff in every volume, if not every chapter. And I don't mean the cosplayers-wearing-Hollow-masks kind of "cool" that things devolved into, I mean interesting things being said, characters/Zanpakutou shown, and events unfolding, putting the actions of our characters into a larger context.

In other words, worldbuilding. Now that was cool. And characters can only really be cool if the concept of "cool" is properly defined and established within the context of the fictional world they inhabit. Like the Bankai, for example. But who cares about seeing yet another one when everyone finds a Bankai under their seat and it becomes a requirement for participation?

It should also matter why someone attains a Bankai or any sort of power. Oh, what's that? The main character puts himself through training that amounts to torture and corruption of his soul, gets nearly killed in almost every subsequent fight he participates in, goes through yet more torturous training to attain the Ultimate Power, visibly ages during his journey to save a woman he has a very special relationship with, has some kind of evil demon take residence within his soul due to how far he went for her, and in the end they're Just Friends?

Sure, now tell me the one about the one-armed Shinigami and his rabbit-shaped Bankai.

All of this was probably said a million times over 15 years ago, but I don't particularly care. What I do care about is that great things were done and there was amazing potential for the future, but it was flushed down the toilet. Along with the Only Correct Ship™.

So I wrote a fic. It's an IchiRuki ship at its core, but I also added some things to the world when inspiration struck. I mostly wrote this as a form of emotional expression and to let out the ideas that came to me in the small hours of one morning.

So far there are over 70k 50k words that are mostly ready to be published, as well as some stuff for a possible follow-up series. However, some finishing touches need to be put on still, so it's not all going to come out at once.

Also, this is the first fanfiction (and really the first creative work of any kind) I've ever written. So keep that in mind.

It's also not going to be for everyone, because I've been heavily influenced by certain things (mostly David Eddings' Belgariad-verse and Harry Potter). And not everyone finds value in the same things. So if you find it long-winded, it's probably not just you.

[avenger-hawk]

Hey hawk, was just wondering if you see yourself moving on from the N@ruto series/Sasuke eventually? For my case, everytime I thought I've moved on (eg: found other media to invest my free time with), I'd always end back up with Sasuke in my thoughts, exploring more about Sasuke's dynamic with other characters etc.

Yeah for me it's more or less the same. I might be more interested in something else for a while, but I never leave Sasuke completely. My fandom passions last a very long time tbh.

I say Sasuke because I kinda moved on from the series, I mean, when I stumble on manga panels or anime moments I have pleasant feelings, because I really liked the story and many characters others than Sas, and interactions, ofc mostly Sasuke’s interactions with others cause it’s all about him for me. But mostly I’m negative because no matter how cool it was the plot and the characters and interactions it still ended the way it ended. For me the dislike for new shit and for kishi is stronger than my interest so I kinda get pissed off every time I see new official art and bullshit even. I'm so pissed off at it that even if I reblog when I see new stuff I like because it's objectively cute, I hate it deep inside and I am pissed off at ppl who are enthusiastically about it (which I know it's stupid and I would never attack someone for liking them, it's just to show how I feel, cause like I said I reblog some of these).

I'd like the series to just end, no more official art, no more merchandise, no more stuff that is created only to keep fans attention high and not because the author/staff has something new and interesting to show.

Also the fandom kinda ruined some characters and dynamics for me, first of all for the moralistic hypocrite bullshit that pairings and dynamics must be always ‘healthy’ and ‘unproblematic’ when some of them are canonically unhealthy and problematic and it’s what makes them interesting, but some idiots decided that defending the rights of fictional characters who don’t exist is more important than defending the rights of real people so wow. Not funny. On the other hand there’s the different fan view on many characters and dynamics, that it’s just different from mine, so when I see some Itasasu related stuff, which used to me my favourite thing, even if it’s not anti it, I’m either meh or just cringing (especially cause there’s so much of the reverse dynamic everywhere, or Shi-ita-sas which is a no for me), same for N*rusasu which is too positive while I see it darker, and others that I like very much but others just see them in a too different way, so it’s just uninteresting for me, which takes away the fun of sharing what I like. Again, not criticizing anyone, I’m just talking about my own taste and distaste and the reason why I might have headcanons or ideas or smth but don’t feel like sharing, since I don’t feel like I belong in the fandom (and when I shared my last fics they didn’t get appreciation anyway lol).

Lastly right now it’s a shitty period, I’m not able to enjoy most things because of the war in Ukraine that even if it doesn’t affect me directly, it affects me a lot anyway because 1) I’m overwhelmed by the amount of denial and bullshit I hear and by understanding how deep russian propaganda arrived in europe, so much that some of it it’s tailored to different countries and ppl just repeat bullshit without realizing they’re supporting the aggressors 2)my gf is half Ukrainian, from Moldova which is kinda the next target 3)I’m really full of sadness and anger and a lot of different feelings about it. I won’t complain about my feelings in this context because I don’t matter, what matters is only the suffering of Ukrainians. I only mentioned this to explain why atm I’m not exactly interested right now in something that in social media brings ‘discourse’ about genocide and ppl get so worked up on justice for fictional characters when a genocide is happening for real.

[ivesambrose]

Pick a gif which tugs at your heart and/or evokes a long lost memory or a dream. 💙

To book a personal reading with me DM or email me at jovescorpioreadings@gmail.com 💫

1.

2.

3.

1.

You've prayed for them, manifested them into your life. You've asked and received.

They've broken tradition in some way. Either in their family, social group/community or they will be the one who breaks your usual type.

A very good listener. Has a penetrative gaze, their facial expressions are actually very emotive. You'd actually find it fascinating.

Anytime they're stressed they'll go and take a walk or be out in nature. They gather inspiration from there as well. They value they quiet time but they also work well with others. They know several people likely but trust very few. Probably have this same set of close friends for the past several years. They don't really open up easily but their aura is comforting. Pretty non judgemental and grounded.

A leader / has latent leadership qualities in a group setting. (can have a strong Aries or Mars influence in them)

Might be into puzzles, board games, putting things together.

Experimental and changes their look often. But they pull it off brilliantly.

Looks really good in red and / or white.

Strong morals, strong sense of right and wrong. They could be going through something but it's not easily visible on their face. Could have an air rising (gemini, libra or aquarius) or can keep a poker face.

Very attractive. Since they do change their appearance often they have definitely bleached their hair at one point. Fair skin with a sun-kissed glow / tan to them. Broad - strong shoulders, narrow waist, strong legs. Might have played sports or is good at sports. This is someone who learns things relatively quick given how attentive they are.

I'm tempted to say they have daddy vibes. Yes even if they identify as female. They have the BDE.

Ambivert but leaning a little more towards the introvert side. However in social settings they do handle things well given their confidence regardless of how shy they can be. However once you get to know them they'd be very quirky and funny around you. The kind to randomly do a weird tik tok challenge but for you/close friends/cuz they felt like it and not the camera

Cinematography, cinema, editing, photography.

Well travelled, street smart and knowledgeable.

They love hoarding knowledge, you'd be surprised.

You'll meet them when you leave a place/location or situation that's been causing you stress and giving you more anxiety and repression than peace and progress. Highly likely during travel or once you've relocated to some place.

2.

Sensual. So damn sensual and captivating. They look unreal sometimes honestly it's intimidating.

Something about their voice is downright so enchanting and sexy. You can't help but feel attracted to them, it's almost annoying how drawn you feel. (possible lilith rising, could have scorpio and taurus or capricorn placements) I mean I wouldn't be surprised if they sing, have an asmr channel, are a speaker, spokesperson or representative etc

Very dreamy, rather spiritual as well. They definitely have faith in something that they feel is above them. They seem a little prone to really vivid dreams as well as nightmares. Might even be a bit clairvoyant or Clairsentient.

Secure in their business and career might own a business actually. Thing is there is a lot of goals they want to accomplish. But they're not the kind to stall it, they actively go for it. They don't care, they'll achieve it. Especially if you tell them that they can't, then they definitely will. However their ambitions aren't the shallow kind, they really do want to leave a mark or simply express themselves for how they are on the inside.

Either they look like a complete softie, care bear, mom friend or they look like a siren or what Christian Grey thought he was or they have the aura Eric Draven had in The Crow or Maleficent carries. There's no in between. They switching positions like that Ariana song.

They have the most kissable lips.

Highly likely have tattoos because they love the sensation of getting inked.

Tall, lean, Dark hair, dark eyes, beauty spots, really nice hands. Look really good in every shade of blue and green, black (definitely black) and even certain floral or geometric prints. They may also like wearing accessories a lot.

For some reason I saw a crown.

Emotional and intense, they need a creative outlet of expression or they shut down. Like, I kid you not they need to at least once completely lose themselves in something then come home and pass out on the sofa.

Expect a lot of thoughtful random gifts and display of affections from them. They're a bit possesive, I almost feel they can be a little bratty but oh when they look at you, they have eyes only for you. Talking to them is finding a best friend from a life you have no knowledge of but yet it feels right.

Sincere

Trust

Romantic

Passionate

Beach baby / loves the water. Doesn't really like the cold as much.

They may have a pet? They seem to be very good with animals.

You'd meet them when you feel really good about yourself, you'd be really feeling yourself or would have achieved something. Making travel plans or setting your next goals it might even be night. It'll feel perfect actually, right it happened at the right time. You'd be getting signs though but I feel you'd be preparing yourself for other exciting stuff to take proper note of them and boom it happens.

3.

An explorer, a seeker, a student who wants to keep learning, keep being a ray of sunshine in everyone's life.

They seek their soul family/found family or would really want a family of their own someday. Very good with kids likely or at most, very patient with different types of people.

Honestly if they were a Pokémon they'd be bulbasaur.

Regardless of their age they're very youthful, the inner child is intact.

They might dress very vintage or old school. Very laid back actually. Also something about walking barefeet on wooden floors came up. They look they belong in a old photograph / polaroid almost. I'm not getting much on their looks besides they look like they belong in a painting or old polaroid. They feel like home, they feel like laying in a field and relishing the golden hour, they feel the the type whose hand you'd hold and run off with. Red and browns are definitely their color, they pull of the muted tones really well. (almost thought of Taylor Swift's Willow music video)

Might have a strong aquarius and capricorn influence in their chart as well.

Their upbringing may not have been in the best conditions but they've worked very hard or are working very hard to improve their quality of life or give back to their family in some way. In some way they've turned their life around. They did a full 180. Crazy.

Deep voice. Warm whispers.

Honey in tea.

Carnations, lilies and red grapes.

They'd like to celebrate the little victories in their life with you. They get happy over the simple things so much, I can just feel my heart melt because of this person and their smile. They're so affectionate and kind and it's making me tear up almost. Wow.

Also they smell really nice. Flowery notes maybe?

They love touching foreheads.

Might play an instrument or paint.

Honestly, I kid you not. They feel straight out of a fantasy book. The closest characters I can think of is Westley from Princess Bride, Aurora from Maleficent and Belle from Beauty and the beast.

You'll likely meet them when you've shut out something toxic in your life. You may not even be looking for love, this might be after a break up even, you may even be escaping a situation or be away from a gathering and be around New people / faces you aren't as familiar with when this happens. Your anxiety will ease around this person. You might even had a passing thought or dream of this scenario before it happens but you'll brush off the thought thinking that isn't possible or something, then you'll be in for a surprise regardless.

[bump1nthen1ght]

Morning In Bed (Naga x Reader)

Pairing: Trans Male!Reader/Male!Naga

Genre: Fantasy, Domestic, Fluff,

Warnings: 18+ Content up ahead! Impregnation, Oviposition, slight Breeding Kink,

Word Count: 1549 words

Summary: You spend another relaxing morning bed with your husband, with a couple of (welcome) surprises along the way

Request: Hey! I'd love to see something nsfw between a naga and a trans male reader. Could you write about the reader getting impregnated, and/or the actual egg laying process if that's not too much.

When you first built your house with your husband, Venthr, he had two requests:

One, for your bedroom to have a wall facing the West, right next to the side of your California King Mattress. Two, that there be a large window on that same wall, to allow the morning rays to heat up your bed and act like a giant sun lamp when you both wake up. You had agreed readily, because even though you loved cuddling with your husband, his cold-blood always had you layering on pajama pants and cozy socks, prepared for a cold compress pressed to your side the whole night.

The sun feels especially nice this morning, with Venthr’s tail wrapped around your legs, shoving away the warmth of your duvet and focusing solely on feeling up your lower half. You crack one eye open as Venthr lays hot kisses on your neck, his claws slightly grazing your hip as he massages it from behind.

“Well, look who's become a morning person.” Your murmur, face still half shoved into a pillow. From the corner of your eye you can see Venthr smile, his long fangs peeking out from between his lips, which he then wets with a long swipe of his tongue.

“It’s pretty easy with you pressed up next to me.” Venthr whispers, pressing another steaming kiss to your neck, his tail slightly constricting as his chilled piercings send goosebumps across your neck. You giggle as Venthr nips at a particularly sensitive spot, reaching your hand back to tangle in his messy red hair. It hangs loose from his scrunchie, long strands framing his face and falling over his shoulders.

Venthr cuddles even closer to your body, soaking up your body heat and nudging your backside with his-

“Speaking of morning.” You wiggle your eyebrows, Venthr chuckling and rolling his eyes. He’s acting pretty smarmy for a man whose dick is pressed right up against your ass. “What, is my drool that irresistible?”

“Would it be weird or romantic if I said yes?”

“Depends on your tone of voice, I suppose.”

You contort your shoulders so you can kiss Venthr on the lips, a breathy sigh escaping you as he begins to slowly rut against your backside. His cock, unsheathed, lays hot on your low back, the tip of his tail rubbing your ankles as he leans deeper into the kiss.

In between fervent kisses, Venthr whispers, “Do you want to try this morning?”

You nod, Venthr’s affection stirring a tingling current up your body and down into your toes as he grinds even harder.

“Y-yeah, yeah I would.”

Venthr doesn’t bother responding with a snarky remark, not about how easily you become putty his hand or how maybe the both of you are now morning people; He just trails his long claws up your hips and your stomach, crawling under your pajama t-shirt and pulling it up as he goes.

The two of you had been considering having a child and had only recently started trying for one; Or, with his biology, a couple. While you two had no problems being ‘motivated’, so to speak, it had been more difficult for his eggs to take to your human biology. His cum would usually leak out of you without any of his eggs properly latching inside. The process was a little messy, but nothing some high grade bleach and plenty of sheets couldn’t handle.

You sigh as Venthr returns to his passionate sucking on your neck, his claws flicking over your nipples as he slowly spreads your legs with his tail. The smooth muscles massage your lower body as the contort and force you open, his cock finding it’s place in between your thighs.

“Gods, I love those noises you make baby.” Venthr all but groans into your ear, fingers finding purchase on your chest and twisting your nipples. You shove your face into your pillow, somehow still embarrassed by your own grunts and moans as your husband fondles you. Venthr’s chuckle vibrates against your neck as his left hand leaves your chest and moves towards your bedside cabinet. He hastily pulls open a drawer and takes out the lube, spreading it over his fingers for you to see. “I’ll get you prepped, but from what I can feel down here,” he punctuates with a hump against you, rubbing his slick cock against your juices, “I don’t think you’ll need much.”

You playfully hit his shoulder, but your muscles tingle from the pleasure and make the impact a love-tap at best. Venthr laughs again, relishing in your sounds of pleasure as he slowly walks his hand down your body. The cold lube smearing against your navel sending goosebumps all over your body.

“Y-you’re wasting t-the expensive kind, babe.”

“All for you, sweet cheeks.”

Venthr’s long fingers finally reach your crotch, spreading you open and playing with your sensitive spot before inserting two of his fingers. Your breath catches in your throat and Venthr takes the opportunity to smother you in a french kiss, fingers increasing their pace. You can taste the metal of his tongue piercing, gasping around his own moans as he finds that particular spot within you. The callouses of his palms put perfect pressure on your insides, the bottom of his palm spaying special attention to your crotch.

You feel the familiar climbing sensation of an orgasm ripple through your abdomen after a couple minutes, causing you to pat Venthr’s arm and breathily whine his name. Venthr pulls his fingers out of you with an audible slick.

“You think you’re ready? Ready to take me, all of me?”

You nod against Venthr’s neck, mind in a pleasured haze, tugging on his tail to bring his cock even closer. Venthr kisses your pulse point. “Alright, just let me know if you need to stop, okay?”

Venthr’s tail slowly shifts apart your legs even farther, the tick of his cock brushing against your entrance as he adjusts his upper half. His hand, now covered in your cum and some lube, lovingly brushes against your abdomen. With a final kiss, Venthr begins to slowly insert himself into you.

You hold your breath as Venthr’s swollen cock fills you out, the cold base of scales bumping against your backside as he bottoms out. A rumbling moan comes from his chest when he feels the way you clench around him. Venthr continues to massage your hips and begins to increase his pace once he feels your muscles relaxing. The two of you let out a series of low grunts and sighs as the tip of his dick pressures against that sensitive spot inside you. Venthr shoves his face in the crook of your shoulder, whispering a ‘fuck’ as a trail of drool begins to pool out of his mouth.

“You’re going to be-” Grunt ‘-such a good fucking dad.” Ungh “I can’t wait to see you, filled to the brim, petting your stomach.” Aah “Chaperoning those dorky school trips, going to overpriced amusement parks.” Fuck.

With your husband’s cock pounding you into oblivion, you barely have the mental capacity to comment on his dirty talk, your responses limited to slurred  ‘uh-huh’s and yelps. Venthr’s tail struggles to keep their grip on your sweaty legs, desperately wrapping tighter and tighter as your bed begins to shake with the power of his thrusts. The bedsprings squeal as he grabs the top of the headboard, holding up his upper body so he can fuck you even harder. Your fingers clench around the bed sheets, knuckles white while Venthr’s movements become sloppier and sloppier, the returning feeling of climax bubbling up in your core.

“You’re gonna look so handsome with my eggs inside you, baby. I know it, fuck!” You throw your right calf around Venthr’s tail, pushing him even deeper inside of you as your pleasure climbs to higher and higher heights, moving your own hips in tandem with your husbands. Both your moan’s raise in pitch, your bed frame slamming against the wall with cacophonous bangs. Venthr’s sharp nails comb through your hair as presses a sloppy kiss to your forehead, more of his saliva dripping from his mouth and onto your face.“Fuck, fuck! I’m cumming, I’m cumming baby, I’m gonna-”

Your orgasm rocks your body, aftershocks shaking your very bones as Venthr’s thick, gelatinous sperm fills you up. The globes of unfertilized eggs push past your cervix and send another wave of trembling shivers down your spine, forcing your eyes to roll into the back of your head.

The two of you stay in that final position for a couple of seconds, Venthr’s dick pushing and holding his eggs inside you as your eyes slowly come back into focus. Venthr’s heart beats quickly, the vibrations pulsing against your back as his tail muscles stay constricted around your legs, holding them in your breeding position. But once the endorphins run out and your muscles begin to ache, the two of you collapse into a sweaty, cuddly pile.

The silence lingers even as your reason returns from post-sex euphoria, Venthr absentmindedly petting your rib cage and caressing your thighs.

“You know, I think my dirty talk made all the difference.”

You smack Venthr’s hand, playful and weak. Venthr laughs.

Just another morning in bed with your husband.

[yes-ihavealwaysbeengreen]

College AU Week 1 Day 4- Max Phillips

A/N: This was so much fun to write! Thank you to @artsymaddie for enabling giving her feedback on if I should make this smutty or not. I did. ;)  Thank you for reading, reblogging, commenting, and liking. 

Pairing: Max Phillips x F! Reader 

Warnings: 18 + NSFW (Language, vaginal sex, oral (F! receiving)) 

My Masterlist 

I’ve been sitting in this seat all semester. Why did you decide to sit in it today?

This was not your morning. First, you’re wearing a dress with bleach stains across the chest because your stupid roommate can’t read bottles correctly. The coffee shop made you the wrong drink, which you then proceeded to spill all over the front of the said strained dress—all of it culminating in you being late to your business 305 class. You slammed the door open, and all eyes in the room turn to you. You grimace before mouthing an apology to your professor and walking towards the upper half of the lecture hall.

You count the rows as you walk, keeping your eyes down. 20, 21, 22, 2- you stop when you see the leg extended in the walkway. The black dress shoes shining under the fluorescents, your eyes follow up and over a fresh-pressed pair of black dress pants, a white button-up, blue vest, and tie completing the look. You finally reach the freshly shaven face and amused brown eyes of a man.

You’d never seen him before, but in a lecture hall of over two-hundred students, it was impossible to know everyone. But, you would have thought you would have noticed him before since he’s fucking handsome and in your seat.

“Excuse me,” you whisper, and a few heads turn to look at you, “you’re in my seat.”

“Oh, this,” he points down, and you nod. “I didn’t see a name on it?”

“Okay, I understand you’re new? That must be it because I’ve been sitting in this seat for the past three months. Now, I’ve had an incredibly shitty morning. Could you please move?”

“What are you going to do about it, cup cake?” he clicks his tongue on each syllable of the nickname, and any sense of decorum goes out the window. 

“Get the fuck out of my seat,” you shout, all the eyes of the room once again on you. 

“Is there a problem, Miss?” the professor asks, annoyed from the front of the hall.

“Sir, I hate to interrupt, but he’s in my seat,” you point to the man practically glowing at you in amusement. 

“Well, maybe if you were on time, then he would not have seen the open seat. And this is a university, not an elementary we do not have assigned seats. Now sit down or leave.”

You give a glare at the man again before sitting down, huffing in the seat in front of him. The professor goes back to his lecture, and you reach down in your bag for your notes. When you sit back up, you feel a warm breath on the back of your neck. “You are so fucking sexy when you’re mad.”

You whip around, a breath away from his wide eyes, “bite me,” you hiss, and his eyes darken.

“Okay,” he nods, grabbing his bag from the floor and putting away his notes. He looks up into your widening eyes, “unless you can’t handle it?” he challenges you, and your not one to shrink away from a challenge.

Shoving your notes back into your bag and zipping it up, you stand and follow him out of the room. The professor shakes his head and scoffing, annoyed. The whispers from your classmates flowing out behind you. You follow him down the stairs and into a smaller classroom.

“What are we doing here?” Your back hits the chalkboard against the wall, and the crumbles of dust fly high into the air, causing you both to cough.  His smile is almost boyish in nature, and you feel your heart flutter as they go from the intense lust from the classroom to something softer. He tucks a strand of hair fallen from your bun behind your ear. “Hi,” he whispers, “my name’s Max.”

“Max,” you like the way his name tastes on your tongue, and you smile as he lets out a soft chuckle. “I like it; it suits you.”

“You can call me anything you want, cupcake, as long as I get to keep hearing you talk,” he kisses you again, lightly, gently probing your lips open as he licks against your lips.

You pull back, and your head hits the chalkboard, and you wince. His hands moving to quickly examine the spot and rub it gently. It’s touching how much he seems to care, and you realize you’d never given him your name. “Hey,” he returns his eyes to you, “you never asked my name.”

He smiles again, “Oh baby, I know your name. I’ve known this whole time; I’ve just been waiting for you to notice me.”

Your previous anger melts away, and you kiss him again, getting heated fast as you feel him long and hard pressing against your leg, and you moan into the kiss as you feel him rub against him. “Fuck,” he bites your lip hard and pulls out before letting go. Your lips parting in a gasp as he smiles down at you. “I want to take you out. Treat you right,” he moans as you cup him.

“I want that too, but that doesn’t mean you can’t fuck me first,” you unfasten his belt, and he chuckles, moving to slide your panties down your legs. You move to push his pants down, but he grabs your wrist and pulls you towards the large desk in the front of the room, making you sit upon it. You lay down as he gently pushes you onto your back, and you rise to your elbows to see him sit in the rolling chair, pulling forward. “What- what are you doing?”

“I want to taste you, is that okay?” You nod, and he places his hands on the bottom of your dress and pulls your thighs closer to his face. “I’m going to need you to say it, baby.”

“Yes,” you gasp as he buries his face in your dripping cunt. His tongue licking wide strips up and down your pussy before swirling back to your clit and sucking gently, pulling away with a pop.

“Fuck, you taste so good,” he moans and dives back in. Your hands gripping the edge of the desk as you feel him spear his tongue and dip inside you, his nose moving against your clit.

“Shit, Max, right there,” he replaces his tongue with two fingers easily sliding in with how wet you are. Curling them and thrusting them into you over and over again. His mouth moving back to your clit, and when he bites down, you feel the orgasm crash over you. Shivering from head to toe at the amount of pleasure coursing through your body. His fingers still moving inside you, helping you ride the wave.

He slowly withdraws his fingers and sucks them into his mouth, licking them and grinning at the sweet taste. “Fuck, this pussy is so perfect. Just like you. I’ve wanted you for months,” he drags your arms up and pushes his lips against yours, tasting yourself on his tongue. You move your hands down and push his zipper open, biting your lip at the patch of hair making its way down. “Like what you see?” he teases, and you nod enthusiastically.

You push them down the rest of the way and pump him in your hand. He’s bigger than you were expecting, and your mouth waters at the way he’s going to feel inside you. “What do you want?” he croons against your neck.

You line him up with your entrance and wrap your legs around him, pushing him inside of you. Both of you groaning at a stretch and how tightly you wrap around him, clenching as he begins to rock inside you. You bring your hands up to muse his hair and open your mouth to kiss him passionately. The pleasure growing deep in your belly, your nails digging into his shoulders.

His fingers move between you, and when he rubs your clit you clench tightly around him, flooding his cock as you groan into his mouth. “Yes, baby, cum all over my cock.” He continues rubbing you and pounding into you even harder. He bites down on your shoulder, and you see stars at the combination of pain and pleasure swirling inside you. At the last second, he pulls out and pumps his cock as he explodes all over your thighs with an almost animalistic roar.

“Shit,” he pants-dropping his head to your shoulder. You giggle and breathe heavily as the scent of sex fills the air. “That was fucking amazing; remind me to sit in your seat every day if that’s the reaction I get.”

You push him off your shoulder and flick him in the forehead. He lets out a small ow and laughs, pulling you close and kissing you. You feel him smile against your lips, and you can’t help but return it. He gives you another soft peck before buttoning up his pants and reaching for your panties and purse off the floor.

“I’ll be right back, okay?” You nod, and he runs out the door. You bite your lip, nervous that maybe he won’t come back until he runs back in with wetted paper towels in his hands. Moving to clean you up and helping you step back inside your panties.

“What are you doing right now?” he asks, discarding the rags and helping you off the desk.

“Nothing, I have work tonight at five, but I am free till then.”

“Then how about some breakfast at this little diner down the road? Then you can maybe come over to my place, and we can study together,” he kisses you, “maybe do a little repeat of that in an actual bed.”

“I think I could be persuaded to do that.”

His smile spreads across his whole face, “well-baby, you’ll find I can be very persuasive.”

Taglist: @josepedropascal​ @mrschiltoncat @mrsparknuts @ghostwiththemostbitch @zannemes @xjaywritesx @oldstuffnewstuff @yespolkadotkitty @heythere-mel @justanotherblonde23 @artsymaddie @anetteaneta @lunarthoughts @aellynera @lucifer- @houseofthirst @phoenixhalliwell @chicken-ona-stick 

[riverleyk]

RECOVERED: Lost Mafia Kids files.

Mafia kids: 12 signatures as been my passion project all the way back since high school... like... 6 or 5 years ago? Oh my god... I'm getting old. This dates back to 2018.

CHAPTER 1

My high school years will be memories that I look over with more and more horror as I get older. At the time, I wasn’t afraid and I was too naive to realize the real danger I was in. However, I will never regret what I did. I was only trying to help.

It started with my dad losing his job. My family depended on him financially, my mom never worked too much, my brother, Kevin, was too young to even work, and even if I was old enough to work at the time, I didn’t want to and I felt as though I was allowed not to. Pretty selfish, right? But the minimum wage I could have gotten wouldn’t have helped in this situation; my family used to be rich, but once my dad was fired, we lost all the money and the benefits that came along with it. I assume it’s because my father liked to show off and so we were living above our means.

We moved to the slums of the big city, it was the most dangerous place in the area, but the cheapest. We stopped buying nice things like we used to, now we lived on bare essentials. Kevin took this hard, but I tried to adapt. I went to a new school too. It was the only school in the ghetto closest to our house, but it was infamous for being filled with child delinquents. Not only that, but it was infamously known as the worst school out there, in the poorest neighborhood.

I was so foolish… I really expected to be accepted there. In my old school, I was a bit bullied but I had a large group of friends, and we all got a long great! I was a really social and friendly person, so I wasn’t worried about going and making new friends in this hostile environment, but I was so, so, SO stupid!

From the second I walked in, I was stunned by how diverse it was there, there were few white people, and most of the kids there were racial minorities. I stuck out like a sore thumb… I went to school wearing my favorite rainbow pastel dress, I had even curled my hair and showered before my first day of school! I smelled of flowers and I was so cute looking. That however… That was my first mistake!

The others kids looked dirty… I don’t want to sound mean but they did! Their shirts were covered with stains. They seemed tired and unkempt. It was really a shocking contrast to the private school I went to before, but I tried not to judge. I acted super friendly and nice to everybody I saw. I introduced myself and I did a curtsy, I was so prim and proper!

“Hello there! My name’s Safara Grace, I’m new to this school. How are you?” Is what I’d say, but people seemed to hate me even more.

But not only that… I was white… Pure white. No, I don’t think you understand just how pale my skin is, it looks like I’ve never been outside before. Why? Because I’m an albino! Yes, my skin is pale, my eyes are purple and my hair is bleach white. Every time people see me, they look stunned and ask if I’m faking it. I’ve been dealing with this my whole life. I was born this way. Albinos are so rare, so the best way I can make you understand what my life is like on a daily basis is to make you imagine something…

So imagine you’re a kid… A black kid...going to school, but everybody there is white. They've never seen a black kid before and you are the only black kid around.

Imagine the bullying or the weird stares… Yeah! That’s my life all the time! Except I have no refuge with other albino people like the black kid does, I just have me! Being such a rare trait, I don’t even know another who looks like me… Oh and also, my skin is very irritable to sun light, so I walk around with a parasol all the time.

But anyways, I made no friends. For the first time ever, I was unable to make friends! I was heart broken and confused. I became very lonely. I hated this school so much… Everybody was so different… They hated me because I looked rich and I was so freakishly white. I told myself that the racism against me for being white was justified. I mean, white people were very racist in the past… But I soon stopped when I realized the few other white kids in the school weren’t getting bullied at all! Well… Except for one… I noticed this boy who always did group projects and sat alone at lunch like I did... He never spoke and nobody ever dared talk about him. I started hanging out with him, and I soon learned why…

CHAPTER 2

Yeah, that boy was creepy. He was tall, bone thin skinny, and he had extremely messy dark brown hair, tipped with gold. He was sort of attractive in the “I look almost dead inside but I’m super hot” kind of way. He wore a blue dress shirt with a grey hoodie on top. He was…strange.

He looked so tired with black bags hung under his eyes. His skin was gray and bruised all over. He had this depressing aura that lingered around him. To any normal person, just staring at him would send off red flags and make you stay away. To me though, a desperate and lonely teenage girl, he was perfect.

I quickly understood why everybody stopped bullying me when I started hanging out with him; they pitied me! They used to call me names and shove me into walls, but they stopped when I met him.

One day, a popular girl told me she would be my friend if I stopped hanging out with him. “Uh… why? I’m sorry but this sounds like a trap.” I replied to her, rolling my eyes.

“I know this looks cheap but I’m not kidding…”, she paused, “that guy is NUTS. He’s too weird for such an innocent li'l girl like you. Look, I promise to be nicer and I’ll tell everybody in school that you’re cool, but seriously…not him…hang out with anybody except him…”

“Why? Why is he so crazy to you?” I was so insulted by her pleas.

“Because he’s…he’s… I don’t know what’s wrong with him!”, she yelled at me. “The guy’s a fucking creeper and he’s unstable! Not only that, but rumors around school say that he’s addicted to the worst kinds of drugs, but nobody is even sure of that. Others say he’s mental, but it doesn’t matter what his problem is, he’s gonna rip you apart, Safari!”

“My name is Safara…”, I said in a dead pan tone. All I could do was walk away.

I think I did the right thing in that moment… That girl was a bitch to me. She spread lies around the school about my father and how he lost his job for cheating on my mom. Everybody believed it only because she was popular. I hated her and I wasn’t going to take her advice.

But, no matter how I spin it… She was absolutely right. Bonding with that guy was harder than I thought… More often than not, I felt uncomfortable around him. Getting him to speak was hard enough, he would ignore me and stay silent but when he did talk, it was…

IT WAS SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND HIM! He spoke like an emotionless robot! His tone of voice was this constant bored and tired tone, yet sometimes he’d say a joke or act sarcastic, but it wouldn’t make any sense because he sounded exactly the same as his normal tone!

It took me a whole month to get him to talk to me. I felt bad for pestering him around… I’d force my way into working with him during group projects in class, I’d eat with him at lunch, and I'd hang out with him in the library.

I remember the first time I got him to talk to me. I had opened up my sketch book and tried showing him my clothing designs. He looked at them blankly. He seemed uninterested at most of the drawings.

"They're pretty good.", he said in an uncaring tone.

"Oh...you...like them? For real?" I couldn't help but smile anyway.

“Yeah.” He replied simply. “You’re good.”

"Oh, thank you..." I pointed to my favorite ones. "You see how my dresses are colorful? Well, I do that just cause these days all the clothes are boring and black. I like making my stuff stand out, but I also like pastel colors too."

I assumed he didn't care because he sounded bored. Also he's was a boy. Boys don't like fashion like girls do.

He tilted his head slightly, "Yeah..I can see that.”. He sounded just as lifeless as ever.

I was surprised by this interaction, but after this he seemed to open up to me. He spoke to me about the things his liked; those being science and history, but he still didn’t talk much.

It was funny, because after a while I got used to him. I was able to read his sarcasm from his honesty even if the tone of his voice didn’t give any clues… I was so used to his weirdness that I stopped questioning him about all the bruises he had on his body. Heck, I even forgot that I didn’t know his name!

But luckily, one day he told me it out of the blue. We were in class working on a english oral presentation and we were both writing our parts and then he suddenly looked at me, straight in the eyes and said:

“Dimitrius Atkins.”

“What?”, I replied, not even bothering to look back at him.

“That’s my name. I know your name.” He replied. “But you don’t know mine… a-and that’s not fair.”

“Oh… You’re right! I sort of forgot about asking you after a while.”, I said, surprised. “Dimitrius… That’s an uncommon name..” “Please call me Dimitri though.” He corrected me with a monotone expression. “I don’t like Dimitrius.”

“Oh… why don’t you?”

“It sounds too serious. I’m a goofy guy. It’s not very fitting.”, he said seriously. How ironic.

I just giggled and went back to work.

From then on, we sort of became friends. The more he spoke, the more concern grew in me. He wasn’t crazy like everybody said he was, but there was something wrong with him.

He showed up to school with blood stains on his sleeves and scars all over him sometimes. I can’t forget the time he showed up to class late… He limped over to his desk, bruises all over his hands and he had a black eye. That was my wake up call. After that, I started noticing more.

I guess the first thing was his sarcasm. I assumed it was sarcasm.

“Hey Dimitri, what’s up!?”, I’d say excitedly.

“No… He’s not here right now.”, he’d reply.

Or other nonsensical replies.

“Hey Dimitri, for the project, do you want me to write the introduction or should I do the conclusion?”

“No, Safara, the world won’t have a conclusion.”, he said blankly.

“Dimitri, I mean the project!”, I exclaimed. “What are you talking about?”

“Yeah, it’s fine.” He said looking away from me.

These sort of situations would come out of nowhere. Like I said, I thought it was him being sarcastic or making jokes, but the more we talked, the more I realized: he wasn’t joking. He was giving me these nonsense answers because he thought they were appropriate but it just made no sense…

I asked my mother, a psychologist, about it. I told her everything about him.

“Oh Safara… Your friend sounds like he’s mentally ill.”, she answered with concern in her eyes.

“You sure? I know he’s weird but…”

“Safara, this sounds serious. Maybe you should invite him over someday… I would love to talk to him.”

“Ok mom, I will.” I told her.

CHAPTER 3

The day after, I went to school with a mission. I was going to invite Dimitri to my house! I was so anxious about it that my legs were fidgeting all day.

I saw him sitting at his usual spot, alone in the library, reading a book about robotics like he always did. His hair was combed that day, he looked good for once! Well, looking good for him is pretty easy. He just has to look like he wasn't beat up 10 minutes ago and had washed his hair in the past 20 years.

I walked over to him, and Dimitri greeted me!

“Hey there, angel girl.”, he quietly said. He sounded tired.

I was caught off guard. Was he complimenting me? I sat down next to him.

“Hey there. So…do you want to go out?”, I said jokingly. I wanted to see him get flustered. I was pretty disappointed when he just nodded and continued reading. I think I may have spotted his cheeks get a little flushed, however.

“No, I mean, do you want to eat dinner with my family this weekend?”

“No.” He said dryly.

“Oh… Do you want to hang out this weekend?” I tried again.

“Sure.”

“At my house?”

“No.”

“Then where do you want to hang out?”, I snapped at him impatiently. I was shushed by the librarian.

“At the park.”, he whispered back.

“Oh. Cool.” I was a bit surprised. I didn’t know there was a park near by. “See ya there then.”

“Bye.” He waved at me and very obviously forced a smile. “Dimitri... I’m not leaving.” I laughed quietly but the librarian heard it. He promptly kicked me out of the library.

I got up and walked out.

“Bye again.”, he said while waving at me. This time his smile seemed more genuine, which hurt me a lot.

I muttered curse words under my breath and walked out embarrassed. My mission was a failure, but I was going to meet him at the park that Friday after school, so I felt proud either way.

Friday night finally came. The wait was unbearable. We met outside of the school. He gave a look, but it was more like a blank stare. He gave me a signal to walk over to him. Once I was close to him, he said carefully,

“Watch out for people who follow us. The park is safe but the path there is dangerous.”

I was unsure of how to reply so I just nodded. He put up his hood and lead the way. I followed him, walking by his side, trying not to get my parasol in the way. I tried to make small talk, but he stayed mostly quiet.

He asked me about my family, so I told him why I moved here.

“That’s too bad.”. He sounded careless, like he didn’t mean it. “This place is a bad place to live in.”

“I… Yeah…”. I agreed with him but I felt bad doing so, knowing that he lived here.

Looking around me, I saw trash all over the streets. People weren’t dressed as well as they used to be back in my previous neighborhood. People looked tired or overworked. There were hobos all over the place. Not to mention the buildings looked old and worn down.

“This place is so different from where I used to live.”, I told him.

“This is what poverty looks like.”, he said bluntly, “everybody here is suffering.”

“I know…”. I was hurt just seeing it all. I felt so sad for these people. “I want to help them.”

“Don’t.”

“W-why not?”. I stammered over my words, shocked by his apathy.

“They just take and take. They will never get out of this.”. He looked at me blankly. “Nobody gets out of poverty once they fall into it.”

“But… what about me?!”, I said, insulted.

“Start getting a job. Save up.”. He looked around behind his shoulder. “You can dream too.”

I stopped talking to him until we reached the park. I didn’t like him being so mean but what he said had truth to it.

The park was surprisingly isolated. It was full of trees and trash littered the ground. It was peaceful and it looked like a forest with hiking trails.

“You like to walk?”, he asked emotionlessly.

“Yes, and I love nature too.”, I said smiling, pleasantly surprised by the beauty of the park. “There’s a lot of trash here but it’s still nice to have a forest in the middle of the city.”

“That’s good.”, he replied, “nobody likes to come here…”

“Oh? Why not? It’s so pretty!”

“Um… well.”, he started, “there was once a big mafia that was running this part of the city. They committed many crimes. This park used to be popular for kids in the summer, but then they realized that the mafia was burying their victims here…. A police investigation was launched and they dug up over 22 bodies…”

“Oh my god…”, I whispered.

“Exactly.” He nodded. “People weren’t allowed in during the investigation…but once it was over, people didn’t want to come back in here. I’ve only ever seen one other guy here.” “They are afraid… and for good reason.”

“And nobody wants to buy this land cause it’s “haunted” apparently.” He forces a small laugh like it’s funny. “I’ve been here a lot and I haven’t seen anything here.”

“Well… heh… I can’t say I’m exactly too thrilled to take a stroll in here now.” I joked even though it was half true.

He didn’t reply. He just started walking. We walked in silence for a bit. It was making me feel really uncomfortable. I started looking around the forest. We could still hear the cars whooshing past us, as the streets were just behind the tree line, but as we walked further and further away, the sound faded.

I felt at peace, listening to the rustle of the wind in the leaves and the birds in the trees.

As a city girl, I don’t go to forest that often. My closest experience to animals are the bird feeders in my back yard and the squirrels. This walk was giving me nostalgic memories of the times I went camping.

I turns to look at what was to my left and I jumped a bit, seeing Dimitri besides me was startling as he was so quiet I forgot he was there. Though now, I was staring at him…. subtly! So he wouldn’t notice… I spotted a couple of bruises on his hands, neck and a faded scar on his cheek. Now that I was up close to him, I could see there was a lot more signs of injuries on him then I had previously thought.

“Hey Dimitri…”, I mumbled to him timidly.

He almost robotically turned to look at me. “Yeah?”

“Sorry for asking this… It might be personal. Why do you have a lot of bruises on your skin?”, I asked him. Instantly regretting the invasive question, I stammered out another sentence. “It’s nosey of me, I know, but it’s a hard detail to miss. It’s concerning…”

He went back to looking in front of him. He didn’t reply for a solid minute. The silence and wait was unbearable.

“I just get into a lot of fights.” He answered simply.

“But how?” My interest was peaked.

“Well you know… it’s a bad neighborhood. Gangs are everywhere.” He turned to look at me. “You better be careful.”

The words lingered in my head, sending a chill down my spine. The way he said it, cold and uncaringly, sent implications that were not spoken. Was he…threatening to attack me? Or was he warning me of other people doing so? He creeped me out.

“T-thanks… I will.”

Finally we reached a small river that ran along through the city and this park. We stopped and Dimitri told me a story about how a kid drowned in it. He’s not a very cheerful guy but I tried to ignore it…

We sat along the edge of the river. There were ducks passing by. Dimitri pulled a whole loaf of bread out of his back pack and handed me a few slices.

“Do you always carry around bread in your bag?” I laughed.

“Yep.” He said throwing a piece of bread into the water.

I laughed even harder. “So you do this often?”

“Yep.”

A pack of ducks were gathered around us now, fighting over the pieces of bread we were tossing into the water. We fed the ducks together while chatting. Eventually the topic of family came up.

“Well… I have a little brother. He’s a little brat. What about you?”, I asked.

“I’m a single child.”, he said, concentrated on the ducks.

“Aw, that must be lonely, isn’t it?”

“It is… But not because of my lack of siblings.”, he answered robotically.

“Oh how so?” I was probing for more information.

“Well I don’t have a father… Um… no. I do have a dad, he’s just not around much at all. And my mom? I avoid her.” He said hesitantly.

“Why is your dad gone? Why do you avoid your mom?”, I asked, concerned for him.

He forced a smile and looked at me. “No. Everything is fine.”

“Dimitri…” I gave him my “I know you’re lying to me” face and his smile faded away back to his neutral expression.

“My mom isn’t a nice woman… And my dad is in prison.”

“Oh… I’m sorry.” I felt bad for pushing him to say it.

But a thought clicked in my head. He came to school everyday with bruises and cuts and he admitted that his mother wasn’t “nice”. Was this abuse?

“D-Dimitri… does your mom hurt?” I questioned.

“No.” He said simply.

“But you-”

“No.” he said a bit louder. “She doesn’t like me. But she doesn’t not like me either.” He said calmly. “Now stop asking me crappy questions.”

“I’m sorry…”

“It’s ok. I forgive you.”

We finished the bread and the ducks looked satisfied. They swam off and we walked off. He chatted a little back to the streets. I offered Dimitri the dinner invitation again and he accepted. We scheduled it, and I went home.

CHAPTER 4

It was the big day! Dimitri was gonna come over, we were going to hang out, eat dinner and somehow I’d persuade him to talk to my mom so she could figure out what was wrong with him.

I know I sound weird, trying to stalk him and get him diagnosed by my mom, but I obsessively want to help people and sometimes I take it too far. This is one of those times.

Dimitri showed up at our door. He was wearing a blue dress shirt and his hair was combed but still messy. He had a black eye and a bloody nose. He didn’t seemed fazed by it at all.

My brother heared the knocking first, unknowing of what our guest would look like. To his surprise, he was met by a disheveled young man at our door, standing like nothing was the matter. All he could do was stare.

Dimitri was so shy he didn’t say anything, just bleeding out of his nose. The blood was dripping down his face and leaking down his neck. He had just been seriously punched in the face, but my brother was too choked up and confused to know what to do.

“What the fuck happened to you!?”, Kevin yelled in disgust.

“I um..” He stammered. “I was mugged before coming here…”

Kevin just gave him a look of astonishment and ran into the kitchen to call for our mother.

Dimitri just let himself in. At that point I had heard the commotion and promptly came down the stairs. I froze up, seeing Dimitri bleeding like that.

“Hi Safara!” He waved cheerfully to me.

My mother came rushing in and bombarded the boy with questions, giving him a towel for his nose and a wet rag for his eye.

Dimitri seemed oddly perky. Usually, he was emotionless, making him come across as bored or slightly annoyed with everything. However, now he seemed to have a hint of happiness in his demeanor. I won’t ever complain about Dimitri being actually happy for once, but it was so different from his normal self that it weirded me out.

My mother, brother and I gave him a lot of attention while trying to help his wounds heal. He just sat there and gave us a small smile. He was giggling randomly from time to time. He seemed to be really enjoying himself even thought nothing much was happening.

“So what happened to you, eh?” Kevin asked.

“Oh... I was walking over here from my house. I was taking the back roads to avoid the traffic.” He started to explain.

“Back roads? Traffic? You were walking! How could there be traffic?” Kevin interrupted.

“I don’t like the big streets with too many cars…” He snarled. “Anyways… I passed by an alley way when a sketchy little girl jumped in front of me. She said something about me needing to go somewhere with her to meet somebody and to learn “about the past.” But I didn’t want to be late so I “kindly explained” to her that I needed to be somewhere and she got “upset” with me. Then, she punched me in the face and walked off.”

“That’s… odd.” I interjected. “Are you ok though?”

“Well I’m here aren’t I?” He smiles brightly.

I was just more unnerved. This was too out of character for him… But I tried to ignore it.

Dimitri was popular with my family. My dad and him made jokes together. My brother and him ran off to play video games. (By the way, he sucks at gaming. I would haven’t guessed he’d be terrible…)

My mother approached me.

“Safara, you said he was off, but he doesn’t seem like it now.”

“I know but he’s never acted like this before. He’s usually cold and apathetic to everything.” I turned to face her. “He’s like emotionless all the time and the other kids at school say he’s crazy and talks to himself. I don’t get it! He’s the complete opposite to how he asks at school.”

My mother just stared at me for a moment. “Have you noticed that he was giggling at nothing earlier?”

“Yes?”

“He’s high.” She said with a really serious tone.

“WHAT?” I gasped.

“QUIET! It’s only a guess… But I’ve seen this behavior before. He doesn’t have any redness in the eyes, though… So I don’t know what it is that he’s on. Oh, but there's also other factors. Maybe at school, he’s just really depressed and outside of school he feels more free to open up?” She hypothesized.

“That can’t be it. When we went to the park, he was acting the same.” I argued.

“Well then.” She rolled her eyes. “We should let him get comfortable and then we can get our improv therapy session, but only if he cooperates.”

The night went on. Dimitri's enthusiasm diminished so much so during the night that he was back to his emotionless self when dinner came around. He was so quiet that my family ignored him for the whole supper. He was extremely shy. I tried to talk to him but he would only nod his head in response to anything.

After dinner, he and I went up to my room. I gave him a “grand tour” which mainly consisted of me showing him my stuff and him just listening. He was barely talking. I felt bad.

“Dimitri… are you ok?”

He just nodded meekly.

“It’s ok if you aren’t. Do you want to go home?” I asked him, sitting down on my bed.

Dimitri sat down next to me. I started getting nervous and my heart was beating fast. He was so close to me I could feel his body heat radiating.

“No… I like it here a lot. Your new house is very lovely, Safara.” He answered quietly.

My heart started pumping faster. I was my shot to convince him to talk to my mother. I had to ask him!

“So Dimitri…”

“Yes!?” He interrupted me suddenly.

“My mom is a psychologist and I know you have some problems… I was wondering if maybe you could talk to her and she could help you, like a therapy session. You wanna try it?”

He just blankly stared at me. His face was draining of blood and he was losing color.

“Yeah… but she won’t talk to you about it, right?”

“Oh no! That would be breaking the confidentiality rules! She won’t tell me anything. Even if I asked her, she’s very serious about her job.”

“Uh… ok. But not now…” He hesitated.

“Oh that's alright.” I leaned over to put my head on his shoulder.

I felt him shutter from the touch but he didn’t move away from it. He posed his head on mine and we sat like this for a while. It was peaceful and warm. I closed my eyes and held his hand. His palms were sweaty and he was trembling a bit.

“Do you mind?” I asked.

“No.” He answered.

“Good.” I held his hand tightly.

“I d-didn’t think this was a date.” He stammered.

“It’s not…”

“Then why are you doi- holdi- uh… UMM-”

“Sorry.” I back away and let go. “I’m just a huggy person. I hope you don’t mind.”

“I’m just…” he shivers a bit. “Not used to getting touched affectionately.”

“Oh Dimitri.” I giggled. “I don’t really consider this affection, I just think of hugs as casual things friends do.”

“Oh ok.” He replied.

We watched a little bit of TV, not saying much. After the episode ended, He got up and walked out. I thought he was going to the bathroom and he’d come back quickly but he never did.

After 20 minutes, I left the room and looked around.

Kevin was in the kitchen, sneaking cookies out of my parents’ secret spot for them.

“Hey bro, where’s Dimi?” I asked him, taking a cookie for myself.

“He’shh- wiff mom.” He said, mouth utterly stuffed with cookies.

“Thanks.” I put the cookies away and I went back to my room to wait for him.

I think Dimitri stayed there for 2 hours. I was watching the TV for a ridiculously long time. When he did come back, he looked drained.

“Sorry about that. I was expecting a little chat but I couldn’t shut myself up so I started ranting for a while.” He explained.

“Oh it’s ok. It is therapy.” I excused him.

He smiled and hugged me. I was taken aback but I held him tightly. I could feel his body. He was so frail and skinny under those clothes. It was calming for that half a second we that were close.

Then he left.

I felt so lonely with him gone.

But then I realized…

“SHIT! WE SHOULD HAVE GIVEN HIM A RIDE HOME!”

CHAPTER 5

Nothing changed much at school. Dimitri was his typical robot self. There is one thing that was very welcomed though… Dimitri seemed to be forcing himself to act more. He would talk with more hand gestures and smiles (but his smiles were very awkward looking because he was forcing them).

Dimitri also became really friendly with my family. He would come over once a week after his first session with my mother. She really liked talking to him.

Neither Dimitri or my mother told me what they would talk about, but I knew it was serious. She would walk around with her note book after the sessions and often times, she’d be the one to invite him over.

One day, I knew something was up. She sat me down to talk about him.

“Safara, what has he told you about his life?” She asked me with a sternness in her voice.

“Not much…” Then I repeated all that he told me.

“I see. He is trying to hide it…” She flipped through her notes. “I can’t tell you much, with out his consent, but Dimitri allowed me to tell you this yesterday.”

“Oh…” I could feel that what she was about to say really important.

She looked me dead in the eyes and straightened her glasses. “He’s been diagnosed with schizophrenia when he was 15 years old.”

A wave of shock zipped through my body. I was speechless.

“He has vivid hallucinations. Safara, that’s why he acts emotionless.” She told me.

“But what about when he comes here and acts all… alive?” I asked, completely baffled.

“That I don’t know.” She sighed. “But Safara, I want you to be extremely careful with him.”

“I am!”

“No… just…” She smiles at me. “Please keep being nice to him. You mean a lot to him.”

I blushed and nodded.

“That’s all I’m allowed to say. You should try to talk to him about his issues. He trusts you to keep these a secret, however. You got that, right?”

“Yes mother, I understand.” I got up to leave.

“Wait! I forgot to mention something.”

I sat back down.

“Would you mind if Dimitri lived with us?” She asked me.

My eyes widened. “You aren’t serious, are you?”

“I am. He has a bad home life, and I know that one of the only ways he can get better is by having a better family, so I asked him if could move in with us. It will be temporary, like maybe a few months or so.” She explained, justifying her decision. “I’ve already spoken to your father about this and he agrees. Dimitri wouldn’t be that huge of an addition to the family, we’d just need more food and that’s it.”

“Oh I don’t mind but don’t adopt him, ok? It would be weird to have a brother that looks so different from us.” I joked.

“Oh but that's what adoption is all about, sweetie! And he isn’t that different from us. I mean you are the most different of us all.” She touched my hair and poked my cheek, giggling the whole time.

This gesture really annoyed me. “...Thanks mom. But also, I just don’t want another brother. Kevin is enough of a brat as it is.”

“Dimitri’s a sweet young man” She said as she was getting up. “Anyways, I’m going to tell Kevin the news.”

I went back up to my room and I could hear my li'l bro wailing down stairs. He cried, “BUT THAT’S TOO MANY PEEEEOPLE!”. I snickered to myself.

CHAPTER 6

Dimitri came up to me at school the next day. He asked me if my mom told me the stuff and about the “news”.

“Oh. I’m so happy to be moving in with you.” He forced a smile but still sounded monotone.

“Me too! We’d get to hang out all the time!” I hugged him from excitement.

Dimitri grabbed me and spun around with me in his arms. He gently put me down. I looked up at him, confused but I saw a genuine smile on his face and my heart melted.

Dimitri being HAPPY is the cutest thing ever.

“Sorry. I’m just so excited.” He shook my hand for some reason. “I’ve just always wanted to leave home.”

“Oh… why?” I asked with concern.

“Well uh… Never mind!” He suddenly laughed awkwardly. “But yeah I’ll tell you in private. By the way, I’m sleeping in your basement.

“I’m really happy for you though.” I held his hand as we walked off to class. I didn’t care if the other students were watching. Dimitri seemingly lost his enthusiasm and got really quiet after that.

CHAPTER 7

Moving Dimitri into our basement wasn’t that hard and it didn’t take long. All he had was trash bags full of his clothes, a box that was full to the brim, labelled “parts”, and a mattress he used as a bed. All we did was put his stuff down and he organized it by himself.

Two hours later, he went up to my room. “Want a room tour, Saf?”

“Sure!” I went down the stairs alongside him.

His bed was just a mattress on the floor with a pillow and blanket. There was a desk that was particularly lacking the normal desk-clutter, and a simple wooden chair. My parents emptied out a shelf and he put his clothes there. There were no doors on the shelf so I could see his shirts, pants, and (Oh my gosh!) boxers! (Is it pervert to stare at a guy’s underpants??? It made me super uncomfortable to see those!)

Dimitri’s box of parts was untouched in the corner. All in all, the room was pretty small but it still had looked like he barely filled it. I walked over to his box and pointed at it.

“Need help unpacking this?” I asked.

“Oh!” He stared. “No. Don’t touch that, it’s fragile.”

“Ok, sorry.” I said. “So how do you like your new crib?”

“Super cool. I never really cared for the decorations, as long as it’s warm and I can eat and sleep, I’ll be fine.”

“Neat. So what now?” I asked.

He scratched his chin and looked up. “I don’t know. Want to watch a movie?”

“Sure! I just got a new horror movie from the store. I think it’s a slasher flick of something. I got it for my brother but he was too scared to watch it. I’m not a fan of those movies but I liked to get scared every once in a while. What do ya' say?”

He just went flush red and became really quiet. “Oh uh…” He scratched the back of his head. “Um… Ok.”

“What? You don’t like horror?” I asked, seeing how uncomfortable he was.

“N- I do like that. Let’s watch it.” His smile was meant to reassure me but it was so obvious it was forced.

So we went to my room to watch the movie. I really embarrassed with how much I yelped at each jump scare. Oh, and how I needed to cover my eyes during the violent scenes! Though, Dimitri barely had reaction. He was blushing from ear to ear and biting his lower lip. He would flinch during the fight scenes but, yeah. That was it. I thought he would be judging me for being a wimp! But half way through he got up and left, so I finished without him.

A hour later, I went downstairs to his room. I knocked on the door and he yelled. “It’s unlocked.” I walked in to see him fiddling around with metallic parts and tools. I approached cautiously.

“What are you doing?” I questioned, tilting my head to the side.

“Tinkering.” He replied expressionlessly.

I watched him open up the box to pull a toy robot he was going to disassemble. He leaned over to take a screw driver and started to remove pieces from the toy.

I leaned over to get a closer look. “Why are you breaking it?”

“I’m not breaking it.” He replied calmly. “I’m taking it apart… and rebuilding it.”

“Oh, why?”

“Well, it helps me understand how it’s made and the techniques they used.”

“Oh that sounds neat. You like making robots?” I asked him, overly interested in what he was doing.

I sat down next to him. He just looked at me and said nothing. I think he was confused but yet again, he had no emotion. Just his regular expressionless glare. His eyes felt like they were piercing deep into my soul… those glass-like, grayish-blue eyes. They creeped me out.

“Tell me about your robots, Dimitrius.” I muttered. “I’m curious…”

He raised an eye brow for a second but then went back to tinkering.

“So I like making stuff with my hands… Though, I have a whole system for it.” he paused and looked at me again. “You don’t mind me rambling?”

“Oh, Dimitri...you barely talk. I like your voice! Go ahead.” I encouraged him to go on.

“So uh…” he forced a smile. It was so cute. “I like making my own custom robots for tournaments and stuff, but I’m not that good at making my own parts, so I take them from other bots that I buy.”

I listened, completely fascinated in it. His voice was monotone and boring but he sounded calm. As he went on, there was a hint of happiness with him being able to talk about his passion.

“I take them apart then I rebuild them.” He continued. “...W-with out instruction manuals. The point is to know the purpose of all the parts, where they go, and how they work. I repeat breaking them down and building them back up again until I know the bots perfectly.”

“Is it time consuming?” I tilted my head and picked up one of his tools.

“It is but it depends on how complex the model is. Though, once I understand the bot perfectly, I can take its pieces and use them to make my own bot… or if I like the robot, I mod them to make them more efficient or stronger. Whatever I feel like doing to it, basically.” He took the piece from my hand. “This is a screw driver….”

“Oh my god! You think I didn’t know what a screw driver was!” I laughed at him but I stopped when I saw that he looked nervous.

“Sorry, Dimitri. I like what you do with the robots. It’s really cool.”

“Thank you…” He replied timidly.

Suddenly the door opened, and someone appeared from the newly escaping light. Dad. He sternly yelled, “SAFARA! IT’S BED TIME.”

I called back to him, "I'M COMING, ONE SECOND!". I gave Dimitri a hug.

“Good night, Dimi!”, I said as I was running up the stairs.

Dimitri just stares at dad, mouth agape. His cheeks were the reddest I've ever seen. “Y-you too, angel…” He stammered and muttered.

SIDE CHAPTER 1

-MONSTERS-

A woman paced around the room and stopped in front of a mirror hung up on the wall, putting on a pearl necklace. She grabbed a comb and brushed over the bangs of her long, silky, brown hair. She was very tall and slim. Like a stick, she adorned barely any curves. As she stared at herself in the mirror, she smiled. She was all dressed up in all of her best clothes.

A man walked into her room. He was smiling. Wearing a suit with a green tie, matching with the color of his eyes. He was giving a piggy back ride to his son, a cute little boy with short blond hair.

The woman walked up to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“Are you two ready to go to church?”, she asked with her sing song voice.

“Of course.”, the man replied with a wink and smile. “How’s his outfit?”

The lady examined her son’s clothing then she nodded.

“Yes, it’s good.” She walked out. “Come along now! We don’t want to be late for our lord.”

Behind her back, the man rolled his eyes and put his son down. Once on the ground, the toddler stumbled toward the front door.

The car ride over to the church was pretty uneventful. The little boy wasn’t listening to his parents bickering in the front, he was fascinated by the trees rolling by, yet the clouds being seemingly suspended and frozen in the sky. He held out his hands and tried to grab the birds, freely flying across the beautiful blue sky.

Once inside the church, the little boy held his mother’s hand and followed her. The outside of the church was colossal and grand. It towered over the little boy. A statue stood over the entrance. It was of winged humans saving Earth's people from certain doom while the rest had already met their demise. They all wore faces filled with utter terror, as they were burning and being eaten by horrifying monsters. Each time the boy saw this statue, he’d start to cry and his parents would scold him for it. This time would be different! He put on his brave face and stared down the statue as he walked in, but he held back the tears. His mother and father didn’t notice.

Once inside, he thought he was going to have an easier time, but he had forgotten that inside there were monsters here too. Big paintings of the monsters were hung on the walls. Luckily, they were much less scary than the statue.

They sat down and listened to a man in a robe speak. The boy was so bored that he fell asleep, lying his head down on his father’s lap. Each time they needed to stand or sing songs, his mother would elbow him really hard in the shoulder to wake him up. It always happened like this. He’s come home with bruise on his shoulder and it didn’t matter where he sat, his parents forced him to sit in the middle of them so that they could watch his behavior better. He was used to it by now, but sometimes he’d cry on the way back home. He wasn’t allowed to cry at church, people would stare.

He was ecstatic it when they sang the songs, though. He loved to sing. He'd yell out the lyrics of the hymns as loud as he could so he could drown out all the other voices. It was the point of the game for him.

Eventually, his mother took his hand and walked up to the display area. He was confused, they only let people walk up there to get the bread and wine. He wasn’t allowed to go up there because he didn’t have his First Holy Communion yet…

She picked up him in her arms. He was heavy since he wasn’t exactly her little baby anymore, but she could still manage. While in her arms, he stared back at the crowd. Everybody was staring at him and her. He felt a pressure build up in his chest and he wanted to run but he couldn’t. She was holding on too tightly.

He stared up at the wall that was behind the crowd, it had a massive painting of a winged human with a shiny circle around their head. They were impaling a red monster with big horns and a tail. It was like the statue but, much more scary and gruesome!

He felt tears welling up in his eyes and he squirmed to get away. Suddenly, his mom lowered him and submerged his head under water. The few seconds he spent under there felt like an hour, but he was soon pulled out.

He coughed violently for a while after. The pastor gave him a speech he could barely hear or focus on.

The car ride home was terrible. He was so scared of the monsters and confused by the water. He sobbed quietly, trying not to bother his parents who were still bickering to each other.

CHAPTER 8

Dimitri became accustomed to living with us after 3 weeks of residing here. However, he was really weird about being seen with me outside of the house. I took the bus to school but he’d still walk there. When he did take the bus, he would avoid me like the plague and get off at completely random stops.

It was obvious that he was paranoid. Constantly looking over his shoulder, keeping a distance from people when he could, and when he had to be around people, he had his hood up and ignored everyone. Being invisible was his goal. I hated it.

He was hiding something from me.

Thursday night, after school. Dimitri went to the basement and I went to my room. I was finishing up my homework when I got stumped by a math problem. I went down to see him, hoping he could help me out.

I slowly crept down the stairs to his room. I caught him at his desk working on robots and wearing glasses. I rarely ever see him wear them, but I really liked them. It made him look so sophisticated and intelligent. He was already really smart, but it made him look the part too.

He looked up at me as I got closer.

“What’s up, angel girl?” He asked.

I giggled. “Oh, why do you keep calling me that?”

“Because you are an angel.” He smiled.

My heart melted. Usually, he was so robotic in his actions and speech but it was so cute to see him smile with out forcing it.

I pulled up a chair and sat next to him. I asked him for help with the homework and he effortlessly solved it, and then taught me the process step-by-step. He was much more help than the teacher was. After we solved that one, we just kept going through all of the other questions I didn't get.

After that was done, I didn’t want to leave him just yet. I liked his company.

“Hey Dimitri… Thank you.” I hugged him.

He didn’t say anything, he just gave me a small smile and nodded. He put his arms around me and I felt his heart beating fast in his chest. I let go of him after a few seconds.

“I was wondering though…” I began to explain to him that I thought weird to be so paranoid out in public and I was wondering why he acted that way.

He was visibly nervous, he started tapping his fingers on the desk and darting his eyes around.

“I can’t tell you… It’s better if people don’t see us hanging out in public… I tried to get you to avoid me at school but you didn’t get the message so I gave up.”

“But why?” I asked, confused as ever.

“You’ll throw me out of the house if you knew- He paused. ...You’d hate me…Oh, Safara.. I’m so sorry.” He was expressionless but hints of remorse were seeping in.

“Dimitri… You can tell me anything. I won’t ever hate you.” I put my hand on his shoulder.

He sighed. “Safara. I’m targeted. I’m dangerous. Being around me might make you targeted too. I don’t want you to be hurt, so I try to avoid you and others in public.”

“I-I'm not following. Can you explain more?"

He bowed his head in shame. “I’m the son of Tony Drey. Remember the story I told you at the park? It was about him.”

I gasped. “You’re father was a mob boss?!”

He nodded. “Yeah… He did terrible things… He’s infamous throughout this entire city. His claim to fame was being elected to office as representative of this district of the city. He was passing laws that corrupt the governmental system. He was a well known anarchist and his plan was to dismantle all government. Though, he did much, much, more before that.

He did pretty much everything. Prostitution, drug dealing, robbery, scamming, and yes… he murdered people. He didn't do it himself, though… At least I don’t think he did.

It’s complicated. Basically, he was the leader of his own gang, but it was well organized, so calling it a gang would be an insult. It was a full blown mafia and criminal organization. Everything was run by him and he had loyal followers.

Then he was caught… Put on trial and sent to jail. That's when a woman came out saying that they were seduced by him and had his kids. My mother was devastated but whatever, fuck her.” He said the last part with hatred staining his words.

“Anyways, he was imprisoned and put on death row. He’s still there. He has to serve his 20 year term before he does.” He continued on. “And you’d think my troubles and there but they don’t. That fucker and I look the same!”

I pulled out my phone and quickly googled Tony Drey and I found his mug shot. What stunned me the most is that Dimitri was completely right. They were very similar, but there were some obvious differences too. Tony had green eyes, opposed to Dimitri’s blue, with dark black hair that was beginning to turn white, Dimitri’s was brown. Their haircuts were different, Dimitri’s was longer and a lot messier. Not to mention his dad had stubble and, well, Dimitri was lacking there.

“Yeah… He sure does look like you. Family resemblance…” ////*********************/////

“Exactly. But yeah my looks cause a lot of problems… You see, his followers want me to take his place because that his “official” son would be the heir to the throne and It pisses me off. I don’t want to be that. I want to be a police officer to put sickos like him

in prison where they belong. But not only do I have weirdos forcing me to give them orders, but I also have other people trying to kidnap me for ransom, and some who just want to kill me. So ya know the bruises and cuts on my body when you see me at school?”

I nodded weakly.

“That’s them starting fights with him and I need to protect myself. I fight back. That’s why I can’t have anybody hand out with me ever. But…” He avoided eye contact with me. “It’s so lonely isolating yourself from every one… I longed for somebody to confide in and you came to me. I wanted you to go but I wanted you there with me. It was a guilty pleasure to have you around.” He blushed a little. “I really appreciated our little chats, but I was so shy I could barely talk to you… and now I’m living with you. It’s a dream come true to have a friend like you with me Safara.”

“Oh Dimitri… That’s so sweet.” I was so touched. I was smiling and blushing hard.

“But yeah… I couldn’t bare to see my angel get hurt. You can’t be with t school or in public. I think people are watching me… And once they find out we’re friends they’ll try to hut you so they can hurt me. People are cruel, Safara, they’d attack you even if you are innocent.”

“But Dimitri, you can’t just let them rule over your life like this. You should call the police and get on the witness protection program!”

“You think I haven’t tried that? The cops in this city don’t care. This district is so corrupt, nobody cares about anything you do. That’s how my dad got into power, that’s why the crime rate is so high here.” He rolled his eyes.

“What if I helped?” I shot up the idea suddenly.

“And how would you do that?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Dimitri, what if I could fight along side you? You can’t fight them alone. They’ll over power you someday.” I held his hand in mine and squeezed it. “You said you didn’t want me to get hurt, well, I don’t want you to get hurt or killed either. I want to protect you…”

He was speechless for a moment. He was touched by it obviously because his whole face turned red and he didn’t look at me in the eyes for the rest of the conversation.

“I can’t let you fight for me… If you get hurt, it’s my fault. But… I like the idea.”

“You could train me how to fight! I took karate classes as a kid and self defense!” I pleaded with him.

“I can’t teach you but I can bring you to the guy who taught me… But Safara, this is serious. You sure about it? It’s painful and it will take a lot of time for you to get good.” He explained with a dead pan tone.

“I want to be there for you Dimitri.”

I sealed myself to him in that moment and from then on, we were stuck together.

I was his and he was mine. I was naive. I saw a troubled young man who’d lived a hard life and I just wanted to save him. He called me his angel, and I felt the burden of living up to that title. I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. I wasn’t ready but I didn’t care. I was there to help. That’s what I thought I was doing.

Little did I know then, but the time Dimitrius and I would spend together would be the worst years of my life because from that day forward, I was brought into his suffering and I would not drown and suffocate in it until out mission was over.

That was the day I became an honorary mafia kid.

SIDE CHAPTER 2

-CRYING-

His mother stopped giving him attention. He’d come home to the sound of weeping or sobbing. At first he didn’t understand. He thought that once people reached adulthood, they stopped crying. He was hoping that would the case for him at least.

He knocked on on his mother’s bed room door. She ignored him, the crying just got louder, so he let himself in.

“Mommy, why are sad?” He whined as he walked over to her.

She was hunched over on the bed, pulling out her hair. She turned to look at him. Her face was so ugly when she cried. Tears staining her pillow and her face showing all the pain she feels inside. The little took a few steps back, frightened by his own mother’s appearance. Gestured to him to come closer. He hesitated but he did so. He sat next to her on the bed and he hugged and caressed his dirty blond hair.

“Dimitrius… Sometimes adults get sad too. Everybody has a different way of coping with sadness.” She explained.

“What’s coping?” He asked.

“Everybody is different and everybody needs to take of themselves.” She brushed off his question. “Mommy needs alone time, dearest.” She kisses him on the forehead.

He got off the bed. “So you want me to leave you alone?”

“Yes dear… I’ll come out and tell you when I feel better, ok?”

“Oh… Ok mommy!” He said as left the room, closing the door behind.

He waited for her to get better.

She never did.

CHAPTER 9

Dimitri Brought me to see one of his dad’s followers. The man was a huge muscular black guy named “Mufa” but I’m pretty sure that wasn’t his real name because he greeted Dimitrius by called him “Damien” instead. Also, he told me that I wasn’t allowed my real name on the streets. I had difficulty coming up with a new name for myself but Dimitrius comforted me and said it was ok for me to take time to think it over. I eventually settled with “Sophia”.

The first time was just basic training for fighting. It was pretty fun. On the way home after it, Dimitri was acting all nervous.

“Hey, um, are you sure about this? You really wanna go back to training?” He asked.

“Yes! Let’s go back twice a week, ok?” I set up our routine and Dimitri just nodded.

That’s what we did together from then on. School, hanging out and training with Mufa. It was so difficult for a while. My body ached but Dimitri was so supportive and he cheered me on. He was always there watching me from the side lines.

One day, we were walking to the candy store after the training when suddenly, a man hit Dimitri in the back with an empty bottle of wine. I jumped when I heard the hard “THUD” and Dimitri’s sharp gasp. It was happening! My first fight. Dimitri coughed and turned around. It was the bottle brothers.

Mufa had mentioned that the bottle brothers were two men from the opposing gang. They used bottles of wine as their weapons, they duel wielded them, using them as basic melee weapon.

The man swung at Dimitri again but this time, he took a step back and got out of the way. I was shaking, distancing myself from them. They ganged up on him. I was so helpless, watching them battering Dimitri.

He got a chance to grab the bottle out of one of their hands and he smashed it on the other brother’s head. I screamed as the bottle shattered in half. He fell to the floor, blood pooling all over with shards of glass all over the ground. This brutality shocked the brother and he froze watching his partner fall to the ground: that was his fatal mistake. Dimitri spun around with the broken bottle griped firmly in his hand and stabbed him in the stomach with the sharp broken part of the bottle.

I couldn’t stand it anymore. I ran off and headed towards the park. Once there, I stopped to take a second to breath. Suddenly, my face was in the dirty. It happened so fast I couldn’t even scream.

“OHMYGODSAFARAAREYOUOK?” Dimitri spoke so fast in panic as he grabbed me by the waist and picked me up.

I was violent yanked off the the ground and held tenderly in his arms. He was trembling as he wiped the dirt off of my face.

I was stunned. I opened my eyes and I could see him, but it was blurry. It took me a few seconds for his anxious face to come into focus.

He swallowed some of his anxiety and held me tighter. “Are you ok? I d-didn’t mean to run into you.”

“Uh-huh.” I nodded slowly. The motion of my head bopping like that made me dizzy.

“Y-you started running after I was done with those guys.” He said.

“No. I’m ok.” I tried talking but it came out raspy and quiet. “I was just scared.”

He nodded and lifted me up. He threw me up into the air and I fell on my back into his arms.

He forced a reassuring smile. “I dealt with them. Let’s go home.”

He walks out of the park carrying me around bridal style. I was really confused by this but my head to much for me to question it.

As we walked home, people stared at us. They gave us weird looks. I glared back at them. Dimitri was doing something nice and people were staring at him like he was kidnapping me. I looked up at his face. He had no emotion on his face. I wasn’t sure if he was noticing it too and didn’t care or if he was oblivious.

I put my arm around his shoulders and hugged him for the rest of the walk.

“Dimitrius…”

“Don’t call me that.” He glared down at me.

“Sorry. My mom once told me you have schizophrenia.” I said.

“Oh? What else did she say?”

“You were diagnosed with it when you were 15.” I curled up to him. “That’s all I know.”

“Oh. Well what about it?” He sounded almost offended, but with him, any tone he has in his voice is best to be left ignored. He always sounds like a robot or a chronically annoyed mumbling teen age boy.

“You hallucinate. Mom said that… Do you hear voices?”

“Um.. Not exactly. Sometimes what people say to me gets mixed up, I mean, they’ll say something and I’ll hear the words out of orders.” He explained.

“What’s it like being schizophrenic?” I asked.

“I don’t know. I’ve had it for such a long time that I’ve gotten used to it.” He replied.

“Oh but what do you hallucinate?”

“Well I can’t tell you that.” He forced a small laugh. It was cute. “You’d think I’m crazy.”

“I’m curious though and I won’t judge you.” I reassured him.

He gave me a cautious look, like he was unsure. I gave him puppy dog eyes and that convinced him. He stoped walked and pointed at a group of men.

“Well, right there, there are 3 demons talking to each other.” He said.

“Demons? There 3 guys.”

“They are all black and shadowy. They have arrow shaped tails and big horns. Their eyes and mouths are like light poking through the darkness.” He described as he continued walking.

“So… You seem demons.”

“Yep. Every stranger is a demon to me.”

“Was I a demon when we met?” I asked, kneading my fingers in his hoodie.

“Yes.” He looked down at me. “But you turned into an angel as we got to know each other.”

“Wait what? I’m an angel?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Well aren’t you?” He said with concern.

“I’m a human, Dimitri.”

“B-but you have wings and a halo, you’re so beautiful and shiny… you’re an angel.”

My heart fell into my stomach but I also felt the butterflies fly around in there too. I didn’t know if Dimitri think this about me would be dangerous or if I should be flattered.

“Do you really see me like this?” I asked trying not to sound nervous.

“Yeah. All the time.”

“Hey Dimitri, do you know that your hallucinations aren’t real, right?”

He glared at me. No filter, no held back emotions, he looked actually angry. For real.

“You can walk.” He said and dropped me at on the ground.

I fell down right on my butt. He stepped aside and walked away. It really hurt but seeing him leave me hurt more. I jumped up and I was about to yell at him but I stoped. I lowered my fist.

I remember what my mother said to me. To be careful with him.

Schizophrenics can be really dangerous if you don’t treat them right…

I cocked my head to the side and grinned. Just trying to push it aside. I walked up to him.

“I wonder what it’s like to see how you see the world… It must be interesting.” I said cheerfully, but I was trying not to punch him with all my might.

He looked up. “I could show you, but it’s a little risky.”

I snapped out of my anger and stared at him in confusion. “Wait… How?”

“I did it once before, but if we do it, you need to follow my instructions very carefully.”

“what do we have to do to achieve it?”

“Well, it’s like a ritual… It helped you see inside of the other person’s head. You drink some water in a dark room and the person who want to share their mind has to describe everything to the other person.” He paused for a second and stared at me. “It relies on imagination.”

“Oh… so it’s not actually going into somebody’s mind?” He smirked “No that’s scientifically impossible, but this ritual is as close to it as it gets. Do you want to try it?”

“Sure, why not?” I shrugged.

“Ok! I’m gonna run off to the store and buy some candles. Go home with out me, ok?” He said as he ran off.

“Dimitri! Wait!” I called out to him but he was already gone.

[marril96]

Against All Odds

Pairing: Rowena x reader

Summary: A confrontation about Rowena's recent distant behavior leads to revelations of hidden insecurities and a deep-rooted emotional vulnerability

A/N: Based on this prompt by @wlw-lesbianimagines. Huge thanks to @fangirlxwritesx67 for summary help!

Editor: @miss-moon-guardian

"We need to talk."

You said it so firmly, so matter-of-fact that shivers slid down Rowena's spine. Whenever you spoke to her like that, in that tone that turned blood to ice, she knew to expect bad news.

"Okay," she said, though it really wasn't. Something was wrong. She could feel it, could see it on your face; in your eyes that were locked with hers, looking through them, piercing straight into her soul; in the firm line of your mouth, devoid of its usual smile that greeted her; in the arch of your eyebrows, pointed and questioning.

Had she done something? Rowena thought back to this morning, to the days before. She couldn't remember an argument, or even an offhand remark she might have made that you could have taken wrong (which had happened in the past, though she liked to think she was better than that now. She wasn't that heartless woman anymore). She hadn't forgotten any important dates; all were seared into her memory, none on which were today. You'd even cuddled with her this morning while she was reading.

As far as she was aware, things were okay.

"Has something happened?"

Had Sam and Dean called you with news of impending apocalypse — again? Were there monsters lurking in the area? Hunters intent on killing witches? Had you received personal, private bad news? Rowena's mind was going a thousand miles an hour, new scenarios popping in like movie trailers, playing out one after the other, none more pleasant than the rest.

"No," you said, and she let a small wave of relief wash over her. "It's not…" You breathed, deep and hard. Gathered up all your courage. "I wanna talk about us."

Och? "What about us?"

The two of you were fine. Your relationship was far from perfect (which relationship wasn't?), but it was yours, unique and perfect in its imperfect wee way. You cared about each other. Stood by each other through everything, good and bad. Stuck together, hand in hand, against everything the world threw at you.

You told her she was beautiful every single day. Held her as she cried and screamed in the middle of the night, the terrors of that day in May three years back still fresh in her mind. Kissed her good morning and goodnight. Called her cutesy nicknames she rolled her eyes at but secretly loved.

It was a good relationship. The best Rowena had ever had (though, given her history, that wasn't exactly a hard feat).

You hesitated for a moment. Then, reluctantly, "You've been distant lately. For a while now, actually."

"I have?"

"Yeah."

"Surely, you're mistaken."

"Surely, I'm not." Your tone was curt. To the point. No mercy; just the cold, hard truth.

A shiver spilled down Rowena's spine, blood turning to ice. She wasn't distant. Not really. She was just… herself. The way she'd always seen. You'd never complained before. Why was it an issue now?

Okay, so she might have not reciprocated a hug or two, or stood still amidst a kiss. She'd never been the most attentive person, and you knew that. You'd always known that, and hadn't minded it.

What changed? What made today different?

"You don't talk to me anymore," you said, lips quivering. You grit your teeth, steadied yourself.

"Nonsense," Rowena said.

She talked to you. Maybe a little less, but that didn't mean anything. There were things she preferred to keep to herself. Things she was certain you wouldn't — couldn't — understand. There was still so much about her that you didn't know. So many things you couldn't begin to comprehend. Why should she bother you with them? Why should she ruin your days when hers were ruined from the start?

It wasn't like she was ignoring you. She just kept some things to herself. That didn't mean she didn't want to talk to you.

She simply couldn't.

Why couldn't you understand that?

You scoffed at her response. "You've been avoiding me for — I dunno, days? Weeks? I've lost count." It sounded an awful lot like an accusation.

"I have not!" Rowena fired right away, defensive. Angry; at herself for getting into this mess, and at you for pointing it out.

She hadn't been that distant. She hadn't been avoiding you. She had things going on. Things that didn't — that couldn't for she wouldn't allow it — involve you. Why couldn't you understand that? Why did you have to be so hung up over it?

Why did you always have to be so bloody difficult?

You stared at her. It would have been a glare if not for the look of absolute hurt in your eyes. "Don't bullshit me! You keep pulling away from me. We barely even communicate."

"We communicate plenty." It taste like a lie — bitter, sour — before it fully fell from her mouth. She added as you were about to respond, "You know I don't do the touchy-feely thing. You've known that from the start."

She was far from an affectionate person. She loved attention, craved it, reveled in it, but she wasn't big on reciprocating. Physically, yes; she was more than willing to engage in make out sessions and a round of passionate sex. But she wasn't a talker.

There was a time when she shared her feelings openly. When she wore her heart on her sleeve and spilled its secrets freely. Only to end up half dead on a straw mat, with a screaming infant in her arms. Broken. Abandoned. Terrified.

Rowena could feel. She could feel and care and yearn with all her heart. For a long while she thought she couldn't. Then she met you, and things she once considered impossible turned out not to be. She cared about you more than anything, and was more than willing to show it to you in her own ways. It was easy. Caring about you was easy.

Putting it into words, into that one wretched word, though…

She couldn't. Not with everything that had happened, with everything she'd done.

Some things weren't meant to be put into words.

"That's bullshit and you know it!" Tears sprung to your eyes. Slid down your cheeks in bitter rivers. "You're being so cold. I hug you, and it's like you don't even notice. I kiss you and you don't kiss me back. You barely even talk to me!"

"You're being dramatic!" Rowena retorted with a roll of her eyes.

"At least I'm doing something!" you shot back. "At least I'm trying to fix this!"

"Fix what?" Nothing was broken. She'd been a bit silent — so what? There was no need to make a scene out of it. Especially considering you were the one who caused this mess.

"That's what I'm trying to figure out!" You wiped your face with your sleeve. Breathed in and out, deep and hard. "Do you even care?"

"Of course I bloody care!" Rowena exclaimed, offended at the implication. Why couldn't you understand how difficult this was for her? Why did you have to push her?

"Doesn't look like it." It was an accusation in everything but direct words. "It's like you're doing everything except care."

Frustration burned at her, built up like a geyser about to spring free. She threw her arms out, at an absolute loss of appropriate words. "What do you want me to do?"

If feelings were your thing, you were with the wrong person. Rowena didn't do feelings. She had them and hated herself for it, but she didn't do them. Not out loud.

If you hadn't brought them up — if you hadn't said it, the thing that had been haunting her for two weeks now — none of this would have happened. She wouldn't have been, as you'd said so eloquently, cold. She wouldn't have distanced herself — just a tad, but apparently enough for you to notice.

All you had to do was keep it to yourself. All you had to do was not say it. Really, it was you who'd caused all this. You and your big, stupid mouth.

If you wanted to blame someone, you should have looked in the mirror.

"Maybe tell me what's going on," you said. Pleaded, for if your words didn't, your eyes certainly did. "That would be a good start."

"Nothing is going on," Rowena insisted. Liar! her conscience screamed at her. Liar, liar, liar!

If the truth hurt too much, lies were there to make it better. A classic Rowena MacLeod move.

Old habits died hard.

Unfortunately for her, you knew her all too well to buy it. "Right. I'm making it all up."

Your tone stung. The look in your eyes even more so. Rowena looked away; a cowardly move, and your expression said so right away. Guilt ate away at her like acid, burned her up one little bit at the time. She knew she wasn't being fair. You hadn't done it on purpose, hadn't meant to hurt her. It was, in fact, the very opposite.

She was the one with the problem.

Admitting it didn't make it any easier. It didn't make the fear, the insecurity go away. If anything, it made them worse.

"You've been this way ever since—"

Fear shot through her at the memory. Blood froze in her veins, shivers slithering down her spine like bugs crawling underneath her skin. All colour drained from her face, rosy cheeks fading to white, freckles standing out like stars amidst a bleached sea. "Don't," she cut in. A plea she knew would go unanswered for you were mad — rightfully so — and hurt and you wanted answers right here and now, no more nonsense allowed.

You stared at her, taken aback. For a moment she thought — hoped with everything she had — you would drop it. Then, through a trembling mouth, in a voice barely above a whisper, you finished, "—ever since I told you I love you."

That was right. You did. You told her out of the blue, and suddenly Rowena's entire world was turned upside down and she was that lovestruck young woman again, yearning for something that would never come to be. Wishing for things that were out of her reach, foolishly thinking they were to be hers.

She knew better now.

Things were different this time around. She was older. Smarter. More experienced. She knew you to your core. You weren't him; far from it. You weren't going to betray her.

And, strange as it was, that was what terrified her the most.

When you said you loved her, you meant it. You truly, genuinely meant it. There was no deception. No manipulation. No lies packaged to resemble the truth. Just raw honesty straight from your heart, from the very depths of your soul.

It was terrifying.

Pretending to love her was one thing. Having been used and abused and tossed aside like trash for centuries, she was used to it. She was comfortable with it. Loving her for real? The mere thought sent shivers down her spine.

You knew her better than anyone ever had. You knew every secret, every flaw, every nasty thing she'd ever done, some she'd never forgive herself for. How could you love her? How could anyone love a monster — one she'd chosen to turn into, choosing power over her own child? How could you trust her?

"That's it, right?"you said, a touch of bitterness lacing your words. Tears spilled down your face, and Rowena's heart clenched, hating herself for doing that to you. Wishing she were brave enough to take a step forward and make the hurt go away. "You're mad I said it."

"No, darling," she said. Quite the opposite — she was mad at herself.

"What is it, then? We've been together for four years. I've loved you for four and a half."

Ever since you'd met. Since she'd started teaching you the ways of magic, back when she was still that manipulative, cruel creature whose only use for you was power. You knew that, and still, you'd allowed yourself to care about her. You'd allowed yourself to fall in love.

Rowena knew you were catching feelings, but she'd never imagined it went that far. How could you have been so foolish? Didn't you know how dangerous it was to love her back then?

"I figured it was time I said it," you continued. "Maybe I shouldn't have."

No. You shouldn't have. Because saying it made it real. It made her turmoil, her fears, her insecurities real. She couldn't escape them anymore, couldn't pretend they weren't there.

Couldn't pretend her own heart, black and shriveled, wasn't blooming with the same kind of love she'd convinced herself she wasn't capable of.

"If you don't love me, that's fine." Your voice broke as you spoke, lips trembling, tears drenching your face like a bitter downpour. It wasn't fine. Nothing was fine. "I thought maybe things were different now, but it's okay if they're not. I knew you didn't do that sort of thing even before we got together. I don't wanna pressure you or anything. I just… I wanted you to know I love you. I'm not asking you to love me back. You don't owe me anything."

You swallowed back sobs that threatened to break free. Your knees were shaking, barely holding you upright. Your breathing was hitched, uneven. You were close to falling apart, cracked glass holding itself together by its last remnants of strength. One push — one wee shove — and you would topple over the edge.

"You've got this all wrong, Y/N," Rowena made herself utter. "It's not—you haven't done anything wrong."

It was her. She was the one in the wrong. The one who hated herself and cursed herself out every single day. She'd had many lovers in her lifetime; some better, most horrible. She was used to being taken advantage of, to be cheated on and thrown out like a used, outgrown toy.

She wasn't scared of you cheating on her. You'd never so much as looked at another person, let alone made a move. But just because you weren't interested in others didn't mean your interest in her wouldn't wane.

You'd seen her at her worst. You'd seen her cry her eyes out, and scream in terror in the middle of the night. You'd seen her drool on the pillow some mornings. Had seen the stretch marks littering her thighs and the crater-like pimples that adorned her face and back, reminders that, as powerful a witch as she was, she was still human. You had seen her freckles, the sea of them covering her body from head to toe like bronze stars on a pale sky.

You'd seen all of her, all things human about her. Things she, once upon a time, considered ugly, repulsive, that were nothing compared to the real ugliness that rested inside of her.

"It's me," she said — pleaded with you to understand. Tears prickled at her eyes; she held them back, willing herself to remain composed for if she were to fall apart she could never make this right. You deserved that much. "Don't you see how horrible I am? How bloody ugly I am?"

She'd done horrible things. Things she could never make right again, no matter how much regret bit at her. She'd killed. Hurt. Ruined. Took what she wanted. Destroyed what she didn't. She'd made herself hate and, eventually, abandoned her own child. She tore apart lives without a single care in the world in her endless chase of power.

She couldn't come back from that. She could redeem herself all she wanted; her past would still remain as it was. The people she killed would still be dead. Those she'd hurt would still suffer.

Her son would still be dead, and, wherever he was, hating her.

"You never seemed to notice. You've said from the beginning how beautiful I am, and a part of me was starting to believe you." She allowed a bitter chuckle. "But that doesn't change the ugliness inside me. The ugliness that I have when I'm overly jealous or insecure, or when I can't leave the bed and it hurts to breathe."

You were there for her through it all. You held her hand. Rocked her back and forth to soothe her. Kissed her and smiled at her in spite of everything, and she didn't understand that, and it scared her to no end.

"The ugliness when I scream and screech about how you didn't pick up your towel or forgot to wipe down the table. Again."

Little things. Some might call them insignificant, but when it came to Rowena, everything had meaning. She was a difficult person to be with. She was opinionated and picky. She rolled her eyes at the smallest of things, and threw tantrums like a spoilt brat. She pouted and whined and complained about anything and everything in sight.

She may have stopped killing, but she was far from a saint. She was a flawed, petty, evil creature. The kind of person no one liked, and with good reason. The person who hated herself.

"I'm not bothered by you loving me, Y/N." Because — goodness, it hurt to admit it — she loved you, too. So much. Too much. "I'm scared you're going to start seeing me the way I see myself, and you will realize that it's not worth it."

That she, with all her flaws and imperfections, wasn't worth it.

You stared at her as if you'd seen a ghost. Wide eyed. Startled. At a complete and utter loss of words. A moment, two, three passed in silence, uncomfortable, deafening. Then, tentatively, you uttered, "It is. It's all worth it. I don't regret a thing." Though your voice was low, there was conviction in it. Pure and utter determination.

"I've done horrible things."

"I don't care." And you meant it. Your expression, as firm as your tone, said so.

You may not have cared, but Rowena did. It ate her up inside, every horrible thing she'd done. Every heart broken, every innocent life ruined and taken. It was the price of power, she'd told herself as she'd slowly urged herself not to care. As she'd turned her heart to stone, all love and light sucked out one dark deed at a time. Business, for the world was cruel to her so why should she show it mercy?

She couldn't change what she'd done. Couldn't bring the people she'd killed without a shred of mercy back. Couldn't undo the damage she'd inflicted. But she could — would, for there was no magic in the world she would trade those memories for — remember it. She could learn from it, let it guide her to a different, hopefully less destructive future.

She needed to pay for her misdeeds. Remembering them, letting them play out over and over in her mind like a record stuck on repeat, was her punishment. Actions had consequences, and these were hers.

"I've hurt so many people," she said, and, once again, the self-loathing was back with a vengeance. Not that it had ever left; she'd just learned to mask it, to live with it nagging at her.

"I don't care," you repeated. So bloody sure of your words she, for just a moment, hated you, as well.

How could you move past everything? How could you, despite knowing all about her past, defend her? How could you love her?

"You're my girl. Okay? Mine. I don't care what happened before. You're not that person anymore, Rowena." You took a step forward, then, confident it was okay, took another, and another. Your hands grabbed hers, fingers wrapping around them, tight as knots. Loving. Comforting. "You are beautiful. Inside and out. You can't change what you've done, but you can change yourself. And you have, and you have no idea how amazing that is! You've made so much progress."

Maybe so. But still… "What does it matter? Those people are still dead." Tears sparkled in her eyes, and this time she let them spill. "Fergus is still dead!"

He'd died hating her. In his last moments, he was cursing her name, wishing he weren't her son.

Rowena wished for nothing more than to be his mother again. A second chance she would never get. Magic had done so much for her, and could do so much more, but it couldn't change that. She would never get a chance to make it right.

"If he were here, he's be so proud of you," you told her.

"He would hate me." Her voice broke as the words left her mouth, the truth stinging like a well-aimed slap to the face. "I was a horrible mother to him. I was cruel and selfish. I couldn't give him what he deserved." A small pause to compose herself, then, "I can't give you what you deserve, either."

You deserved stability. Happiness. Peace. None of which she could give you. Your life had become a struggle between life and death ever since she entered it.

Yet you still loved her. You'd still found it in you to give her a chance at a time when everyone had written her off as yet another wicked witch. You saw something in her, and you stayed.

Foolish girl, you were, Rowena thought to herself. You'd risked do much, and for what? A witch who'd, at the time you'd met, considered you nothing but an asset. Who was more than willing to leave you behind if things were to go south. Who took years to develop feelings, and eventually come to love you back.

You truly were foolish.

"You've given me so much more," you said. Your eyes found hers, tearful but determined. Honest to the core. "You've made mistakes — so what? No one's perfect. I'm not a saint, either, Rowena."

Maybe so. But you weren't the kind of sinner she was, either. Not even close.

"You and I — we're fucked up, but we're real." You squeezed her hands in emphasis. "Everything else can go to hell. I love you so much."

Rowena flinched at the words so raw, so real. So unbelievable her heart clenched in her chest as if someone had squeezed it, tore into it with razor-sharp claws.

"I've been wanting to say it for years, but it never seemed like the right time," you said. "I guess I was a bit scared I'd, well, scare you off." A bitter chuckle fell from your mouth. "You don't have to love me back. I don't expect anything in return. Just, please, know that I'll always love you, no matter what. Good or bad, I'm in for it all."

Rowena let out a chuckle of her own. "You're a fool."

You shrugged. "Maybe. I just wanna be with you. If that makes me a fool, so be it."

Complete and utter fool. But… "I suppose I'm a fool, too."

Because she cared about you, as well. Because she couldn't imagine her life without you. Because she l—

She brought your linked hands to her mouth and pressed a kiss to your knuckles. A soft, comforting gesture. A wordless promise that this was real, that she was in it as much as you were. That, no matter how bad things got, she would never, ever leave you. She wasn't that person anymore. She wasn't that cold, manipulative, heartless bitch she'd made herself become. You'd helped her see the world in a different light. Showed her that, as much cruelty as there was, there was also kindness, compassion. Good she'd convinced herself was a farce, that was, as it turned out, very, very real.

"I…" Her throat constricted, words stuck behind an impenetrable wall. She sucked in a breath. "Y/N, I…"

Images flashed in her mind. The bright smiling face of a man. Kisses in forest, far away from prying eyes. His hands on her thighs. His mouth by her ear, whispering sweetness that made her knees weak. The promise of life, of a happy, happy future. A straw mat. Blood on her thighs. A screaming, blood-coated infant in her arms. The retreating back of a man, slowly fading until he was nothing but a figure in the distance.

"I love you," she'd said so many centuries ago, so many times.

"I love you, too, my dove" he'd said back. A liar. A fraud.

And now he was gone. He was long gone, hopefully rotting in Hell.

And you… you were here. Unlike him, you did love her. You didn't just say it — you showed it with actions, with kisses and hugs and endless support.

You wouldn't leave her. Wouldn't take advantage of her and throw her out like trash once you were done. You were loyal, and genuine, and kind beyond belief. Kinder than she'd ever deserved.

You weren't him. You would never be him.

You were Y/N. And, as much as it hurt to admit it, even to herself, she loved you.

"I love you, too."

The words tasted strange on her mouth. Her heart pounded loudly, blood whooshing through her veins. Her hands and knees were shaking; she felt like she would lose her balance any moment now, last remnants of strength keeping her — barely — on her feet.

A smile bloomed on your mouth, big and bright and happy. You cupped her cheek; she flinched, frightened, then, slowly, leaned into your touch that was love and comfort all in one.

"It's okay," you said softly. "Don't be scared."

"I'm not—" Och, who was she trying to fool? She was scared. She was terrified for the last time those words left her mouth, she was abandoned as if she were nothing. "Y/N…"

"I know," you said, nodding with understanding. "I know. It's okay. I'm here. I'll always be here. I'll always love you. Like I said, you're my girl. That's forever."

Rowena allowed a smile, a small one. "And you're my wee lass."

"Wee?"

"Aye."

You snorted. "If you say so."

"Mean," she said, feigning offense.

She missed this. The joyful teasing. The light-hearted banter. The intimacy only she and you shared.

She missed you.

She leaned forwards, and her mouth fell on yours, capturing it. You melted into the kiss. It started slow, and then she deepened it, and you were both locked in, high on each other, caught in the wordless promise of safety, of love and devotion and eternity.

Together.

No matter what happened, what kind of hardships befell you, you would have each other. Nothing was ever going to tear you apart. Not death. Not fear. Not centuries-old insecurities.

The two of you, with all your flaws and imperfections, were forever.

Against all odds.

*****

Tags: @werewolfbarbie @oswinthestrange @songofthecagedmoose @apurdyfulmind @getthesalt-sam @metallihca @salembitchtrials @jay-eris @hellsmother @elizabeth-effie @shadowgirl-vsb @rowenaswife @wonderifshelikesroses @xfireandsin @liddell-alien @hotdiggitydammit @lae-lae @darkhumorsblog @angel7376 @cherrypierowena @evil-regal-vampiress @collectorofsecretsandsouls @angel-e-v-a @a-queen-and-her-throne @carryon-doctor-lock @fangirlxwritesx67 @rowenaslilwitch @midnight-lestrange​

[gunnerpalace]

I belonged to another heated (but no longer debatable imho) ship were I've known a lot to be IH. And ofc I feel bad they have to bear witness to people so salty about the ending and hated Ino. I hate Ino too with burning passion, and that kinda made me feel guilty. But the psychology major in me was baffled as to how they conclude immediately w/ no analysis she was hated not only because of ships but because either she was written terribly, or she was written to be terrible. Or probably both.

Why cant Ichigo and Rukia be married to someone we could *infer* (because duh it’s not canon they will argue) they are in love with? Someone they have shown to share bond with? “Oh well, its becoming commonplace that the hero doesnt end up w/ main heroine, it’s revolutionary!” Bullshit. Sadly that is logic fallacy you dumbasses. Where’s the progress? Kubo tried, barely even. And again, it’s not even about the ships, its the entire work that has become an anomaly–Bleach as became Bleauuughch.

Again, I feel bad they have to bear the weight of evert criticism, the insult, and the salt of basically a majority of bleach fandom. But I hope they can tell that majority (like 99.99999999998%) of the criticisms are valid and not just hate. If they couldnt bear to actual do analysis of why people hated it, then dont bother plead or guilt trip or go to ppl inboxes why should we just move on. Well, majority already did that’s why all was left were ppl who couldnt be bothered with actual quality.

Here’s the ugly truth about people: they can’t read.

Or they don’t want to.

We have this holdover idea from the Enlightenment that if you can gather enough evidence in fine and exacting enough detail, that you can not only discern some kind of truth, but convince other people of it through the preponderance of evidence. And we have structured our society around that idea, from politics to law to science to academia in general.

The trouble is that that idea is bullshit outside of academia.

That is not at all how regular people approach the world.

And the more we rely upon an idea that people are rational, the more we will be lost at and disappointed by the actuality that people are irrational and emotional.

Consider climate change. The scientific community has had roughly 97% consensus that climate change is being anthropomorphically driven (that is to say, somewhere between overwhelmingly and entirely caused by human activity) since at least the very early 2000s, if not back much earlier. Indeed, we know that the oil companies were aware of it at least as early as 1981! And here we are in 2020, with some 31% of the population either unsure of or disbelieving in it.

Whenever the matter is debated politically, scientists will trot out their facts and drop them on the table and point. The facts are self-evident, they feel. And then the conservative politicians will shrug and say, “I don’t believe you.”

And the scientists have no idea what to do about that. Because to their minds, facts are indisputable. You cannot argue with them.

But you can, as the conservatives illustrate. You just choose not to believe in them.

We are witnessing something very similar with COVID-19 at the moment, with large swathes of the (American) population simply not believing it to be a threat, in spite of all available evidence to the contrary.

We see the same thing with political leadership debating the question of whether to prioritize health or economics, and our media treating this as if it is a legitimate policy debate, when we already know the answer to that question from the Spanish Flu of 1918: towns and cities that were locked down and quarantined suffered fewer casualties and had much faster economic rebounds.

People generally do not read.

People generally do not process.

People generally do not analyze.

People generally do not learn.

And if they can’t do those things for very large-scale existential threats that can threaten anything from tens to hundreds of millions of people worldwide, to the entire ecosphere of the planet, why would one expect them do so for a piece of fiction?

If people cannot handle cold, hard statistical facts, or simple arithmetic, then they certainly cannot handle something as “subjective” as facial expressions or dialogue. I have written recently about how the attitude toward non-fandom things (e.g., politics) increasingly resembles that of fandom, of approaching everything as though it is merely an aesthetic exercise.

That is really what we are dealing with here: ignorance. And not merely ordinary ignorance, not even willful ignorance, but an ignorance so deliberate and cultivated that its goal is nothing less than the total erasure of the facts. (The problem here, in this particular example, are of course the people who say unequivocally, “Ichigo always loved Orihime,” in spite of all evidence to the contrary. Someone who says, “It is clear to me this wasn’t a thing, but I like IH aesthetically,” is a non-issue.)

(Demanding or trying to force this former perspective does, as you suggest in the third ask, indicate a certain insecurity and a tacit admission that the perspective being advanced is illegitimate or poorly substantiated. However, for the people so enthralled to openly admit that is a psychological admission of defeat so severe that most would literally rather die than own up to being wrong to such an extent, and to suffer the attendant internal loss of face. So they seek continual external validation of it to shore it up.)

There is, in essence, no point in communicating with this kind of fan whatsoever. They are functionally like how Kyle Resse describes the Terminator in The Terminator:

Listen, and understand! That Terminator is out there. It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear! And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead!

There is a lot of tepid discussion out there in political circles that the degree of polarization in society today is unprecedented and that a way to bridge that gap could be through shared interests and values. But in my opinion, fandom proves exactly the opposite is true: the reasons people like things that are nominally “shared interests,” and their view of those things and why they are good, are completely and utterly irreconcilable. There is, essentially, virtually zero overlap in a Venn diagram of the perspectives. Shared interests divide as much as they will ever unite.

In that regard, Bleach should be treated as both a warning and a grim assessment of our world as a whole. It is not really an aberration.

It is the future.

This community (among others) has simply been living in it a few years in advance of other people. Everyone else has gotten their first big taste of it with Trump. (The Republicans have been constructing an alternate reality since 1964, but comparatively few people were aware of how deep the rabbit hole went.)

In my estimation, it is not worth engaging with people over a shared interest with sincerity, let alone in good faith, unless you have done some degree of vetting of their perspective. Most likely observing them or their works for a time. Without that, you simply open yourself up to these people who show a total lack of discernment or rationality.

And that is a large part of why social media is such an absolute garbage fire, because as platforms they are built around precisely the opposite notion. (And largely in defiance of the idea that people might want to curate their experiences or might not want to have “healthy debate,” which is almost never healthy and seldom ever debate). Some would argue this leads to echo chambers and hug boxes, but it’s not like the alternative that these companies have produced (for profit, of course, rather than for of any ideological mission) is any better.

To boil it all down, what we are really forced to rely on (quite sadly) is a free market approach: no matter how much that side rages and waves their “canon” status around, they simply do not produce much content. They will starve long before our side does, regardless of any other factors. (Their “canon” status did not help them any in the past four years.) And the people who are agnostic (e.g., the “I’m Still Bleach” crowd that is for some reason vaguely invested in the series as a whole) will lose interest and move on to the next shiny thing.

The only thing that is necessary in the face of all this is really patience. In the meantime, the best thing is simply to ignore the existence of such parties utterly.

[inyourwildestdreamslove]

Playing Pretend

Diego X Plus Sized Reader

A night out with your best friend doesn’t go as planned when Diego ropes you into being his girlfriend. 

It happens sometimes… that crushing feeling like you aren’t good enough. That you would never be good enough. Especially when you go to one of Diego’s matches regardless of how much you loved supporting him. You’ve kind of been avoiding the gym for a while, not because anyone ever goes out of their way to make you feel bad, but because there were so many great bodies floating around. Clearly he would never look twice at you like that if he had a size 2 in a sports bra and leggings to pursue. It’s not like he hadn’t done that for years anyway, all while you watched from the side, the forever supportive friend. Sometimes you feel like the best friend of your own real life RomCom….

Tonight you look nice though. You had to, to even begin to feel like you could compete with the women at the gym. You were dressed to the nines in a nice black jumpsuit with the your hair curled and a Smokey eye with a deep berry lip. Several of the guys and their wives or girlfriends were going to dinner after the competiton tonight and Diego had insisted you come citing the shit he would get from his friends if you didn’t show and guilting you for missing his last few matches.

He may have also mentioned a particularly pesky woman who didn’t know how to take ‘no’ for an answer and declared you his savior for tonight.

So here you are… Your shoes click against the arena floor and you crane your neck to find someone you know among the people crowding the area. You knew Diego’s gym usually sat on this side and you hope you find Ally and the others soon. Suddenly you see about four sets of waving hands and you rush towards the familiar faces. The four women in front of you vary in age from 22 to 35 each one pulls you into a hug and you spend the time catching up until the matches begin.

“I’m so glad you came tonight!” Exclaims Ally as you all sit down. Most of you have known one another for years at this point and every time you get together it’s like old friends. Another woman has included herself in the group by clinging onto one of the younger girls. Heather was sweet if not a little naive, but was always a friend to everyone.

“Me too,” you say with a sigh as you both sink into your seats.

“So how have you been? How’s the magazine?” questions Piper from around Ally.

“It’s great! The new issue goes out on Monday and everything got completed today, so I can finally have a weekend off.”

“I’m sure Diego is happy you were able to come tonight!” pipes up Tiffany, “You know how much he loves when you come!”

“Yeah I don’t think Diego would let me miss this, he probably would have hunted me down tonight if I didn’t show up.”

“He loves when you support him!”

Around that time lights dim and the announcer booms over the intercom system. With no hesitation the matches are under way and the four major gyms in the area that compete hold nothing back trying to take home the title of champion.

Diego’s match is one of the final ones. When he makes his entrance onto the mat he does his fanfair and when he catches your eye he winks and you hear the women go wild. And why wouldn’t they? He’s handsome, and ridiculously… well…let’s just say he takes very good care of himself. Diego makes quick work of his opponent and after the last couple of matches they hand out the prizes. The Lion’s Den had won.

Diego hops down from the ring, and with sweat still glistening on his well toned body, makes his way over to you.

“Finally got my favorite girl to come to one of my matches!” he says as he attempts to hug you.

“NOPE!” you exclaim as you hold your arms out to stop him, making the others around you laugh. The other women of the group successfully fending off their own husbands and boyfriends. A few of the guys manage to steal a peck, but know better than to mess up their someone’s outfit for tonight.

“Come on! I don’t even get a hug?” begs Diego as he puts his arms out and takes another step towards you.

“Not until you shower you don’t.”

“I’ll give you a hug!” exclaims the new addition to the group. Suddenly you knew this is the woman that Diego was talking about.

“Ah… ha ha… It’s okay I wouldn’t want to mess up your outfit Chloe.”

“Oh you could mess my outfit up anytime Diego,” she purrs up at him as she steps between the two of you.

She is quick to draw Diego and a few of the others into conversation and seem to make the effort to pointedly ignore you. You roll your eyes at the behavior but spend a few minutes talking to your friends that you hadn’t seen in a while. The looks of distaste for the woman not going unnoticed by you. After several minutes of catching up, you and several others have decided that it’s past time to eat and you all couldn’t leave until the guys had showered and changed.

“Diego!” you exclaim to get his attention, “I’m starving, can you go get your shower now so we can go?”

“Of course she is…” you hear Chloe scoff at the same time you hear Diego’s “Sure thing, (N/N).”

You feel a few of your friends bristle beside you, but try to bury the sting of her words. You don’t have to be told that your larger frame isn’t as desired as hers, but dammit… you have just as much a right to eat dinner as she does! The soft fire in your heart veins doesn't stop you from folding in on yourself though. You feel your gaze drop to the floor, but not before you see the triumphant smirk on her lips. This is why you don’t see Diego comes towards you, so when his strong arm wraps around your middle and his right hand is buried in your hair as he captures your lips in the most passionate and fiery kiss you’ve ever had in your life, you are stunned for a moment, before you kiss him back. When he pulls away you’re breathless and your sparkling eyes gazes back into his. He rests his forehead against yours and he brushes your nose with his before he pecks you again.

“Be back soon baby…” he hand slides down and grabs your ass before he pulls back and turns to the shocked faces of his friends.

You watch as smiles break out onto the guys’ faces and choruses of ‘finally’ and ‘it’s about time’ ring in your ears as the guys drag him away hounding him for details the the whole way. The second they are gone the girls rush over to you with squeals and start to prod you for details.

You know this is because of the bleach blonde that is now standing a few feet away with her arms crossed and a scowl on her face.

‘He just needs a cover… don’t think too much into it,’ your mind whispers.

“WHY did you not tell us?!”

“We decided to keep things a secret for a while. We’ve been friends for so long… if it didn’t work out we didn’t want it to cause a ruckus in our lives.”

“With that kiss I’m sure there has been plenty of ruckus between you two!”

The girls break out into a chorus of laughter and after about 20 minutes the guys return. Diego is wearing black jeans with a white tee shirt and a black jacket over it. His combat boots echo throughout the arena before his arms wrap around you from behind, his lips pressing a soft kiss to your temple as he whispers in your ear.

“You look amazing you know that?”

You turn your head to face him and send him a soft smile before you press a sweet kiss to his lips. You definitely don’t mind playing the part of dutiful girlfriend for tonight. He wraps his arm around your shoulder as yours slip around his waist and the two of you head outside to his car. Ally and her husband Brendon slide into your backseat.

“I’m so excited for you two!” Ally exclaims as she slides her arms around you in a quick hug from behind.

“I know! It’s been a long time coming! I’m glad you two are finally together!” says Brendon as he slaps Diego on the shoulder. You could tell that Diego was becoming a little uncomfortable with the lie, so you quickly turn and ask the couple about their 3 year old, Sophie, and all of her antics. They launch into stories telling all her cute little anecdotes and thrusting pictures into your face.

“You two will have the cutest kids!” squeals Ally from behind you and feel another stab to your heart.

Brendon, thankfully, attempts to reel his wife in telling her this is new and that she shouldn’t scare us like that. You glance over and see that Diego is overly concentrating on the road and that he’d barely contributed to the conversation.

‘He’s afraid I’m mad at him…’ you think to yourself. You have been friends long enough to know Diego is silently panicking.  

When you pull up to the restaurant you send the couple inside to grab a table while your turn to your best friend.

The second they are far enough away Diego launches into his apology, “I-I’m so s-sorry! I just c-couldn’t ssss-stand what she said to y-you!”

“Diego,” you say putting a calming hand on his shoulder, “I’m not mad… A little warning would have been nice though…”

His eyes continue to bore into your own, “I-I just don’t want you to ever think you aren’t the most beautiful woman in the room okay? Fuck what everyone says or thinks about you, you are amazing and perfect. If some asshole said to you what Chloe did… I would have knocked them to the floor…”

You shake your head, “Diego… there are always going to be people who think they are better than me because of my weight. And most days I keep my head up and I don’t let things affect me… Sometimes though it’s like being 13 and teased or 16 and rejected all over again...it’s just apart of life.”

“You’re so damn amazing though…” he says as his hand cups your cheek.

“You know… you’re pretty damn amazing yourself…”

He laughs a hollow laugh as he looks down, “No I’m not...Always number two…”

“Come on… we both need to eat something… this is getting to be too much… We’re celebrating how amazing you are!”

He nods before he jumps out of the car and you follow. His arm automatically goes around your shoulders as he guides you into the restaurant. Your friends are already set up at a table and they yell happily when the two of you walk over to them. As you sit down you notice the way that Chloe is looking at you as if she wasn’t done with you yet. Diego pulls you towards him and he whispers in your ear.

“She tries anything  you let me know…”

You let out a soft giggle before you push him away, like he had just told you some dirty secret.

He sends you a sly smile before the two of you focus on the menu before you. Appetizers arrive before you really have a chance to look over everything and the snide comments continue to flow.

“Make sure that you keep the nachos out of (Y/N)’s reach… we wouldn’t want her to eat them all…”

“That’s what you’re getting? Maybe you should have a salad...”

“You know… I’m surprised that Diego hasn’t offered to train you… It definitely couldn’t hurt…”

“You aren’t actually getting dessert are you.”

You could feel Diego vibrating next to you with the effort to not reach across the table and smack the girl in front of you.

“You know what…” you mutter after that last comment, your self-confidence shattered, “I think I’m just going to go home…”

“I’ll drive you,” Diego mutters as he gets up to follow you.

“You should stay and celebrate with your friends,” you say with a pained smile.

“Yeah Diego! You should stay!” exclaims Chloe with a devious smile.

“You know… we’re going to head out too…”

“Yeah us too.”

“See you guys next time okay?”

As all of your friends get up to leave you notice the way they all spit insults at Chloe, who has the audacity to look offended.

Half way out of the restaurant Diego turns around and stomps back up to her, “You know what… that woman is the most amazing woman I’ve ever met in my life. She has been there for me when even my own family wasn’t. She is smart, sexy, funny, and kind. She is everything I could ever want in my girlfriend and more and after what I’ve seen tonight… You aren’t even worthy of standing in her shadow. You ever talk about my woman like that again and I’m throwing your ass out of the gym… actually you know what… we don’t allow that kind of behavior. Don’t ever come back.”

With that Diego turned towards you and pulls you towards him for your second deep kiss of the night. You were far more prepared for this one and you wished that it could have lasted forever.

“Diego…” you whisper.

“Yeah (Y/N)...”

“The whole restaurant is looking at us…”

“Let them look… I’ve got the most beautiful woman in this place...if you’ll have me...for real?”

You look up into his deep chocolate eyes and you can hardly believe your ears.

“You know I could never say no to you…”

He sends you the most breathtaking smile before he dips his head down and captures your lips in another heart stopping kiss.

This is for all my curvy girls. I want you to love yourself and know that you are worth so much more than what a couple of nonsense opinions are. I’ve struggled with my weight my entire life and will probably continue to do so. I want you to know I see you, I’m here for you and I will do my best to build  you back up when others want you to fall. I hope you love this. Muah

[fangirlextraordinaire]

Need

Pairing: Jared Padalecki x Black!reader

Summary: When life gets in the way, you & Jared need to reconnect.

Warnings: very slight angst, fluff, steamy but no smut

Word Count: 1.3k+

Written for @impala-dreamer​​‘s Make Me Feel It Challenge

My song: “Strip It Down” by Luke Bryan

20 years.  You’d been Mrs. Jared Padalecki for almost 20 years and cherished every single day. You were with him through it all: the movies, all the years of Supernatural, and the Walker reboot.  The pride shown in your eyes whenever you talked about him to your friends and family.  You loved that man and there’s no denying he felt the same about you.  Whenever he could, he would fly home to be with you, even if he only had a few hours before he had to be back.

As the years went on and the babies started coming, Jared was still loving but his attention was always split.  If it wasn’t the kids needing Daddy, it was the cons or interviews, or a million other things that he had to do.  You weren’t complaining-you knew the life of being married to a celebrity would not be an easy one.  It’s just that the fire between you too had fizzled out to barely a flicker.  You tried your best to hide it from him as he had enough to deal with without you adding another thing to his plate but it was gnawing away inside you.  No, you weren’t going out like that! Having 5 kids may have given you more curves than a Coke bottle but you were going to show Jared that you still could bring him to his knees.

Jared’s POV

This upcoming weekend is our anniversary and I can’t wait to get home to my wife.  I wanted to surprise her but I knew I couldn’t do my same old fancy Italian dinner and maybe a movie.  When did we become so predictable? How can this be the same couple who got lectured by Bob Singer himself for having sex on set? Or the couple who had a quickie in my parents’ bathroom during a party? It has to be something amazing, something that’ll knock her socks off.

Living within 30 minutes of my parents has major advantages.  Mom was thrilled to have the grandkids for a weekend once I explained my idea to her & Dad, who proceeded to make a dirty joke that made even my ears turn red.  I made them both promise not to say anything to Y/N or the kids.  

“Hey, are you up for some golf this weekend?,” Jensen asked while we were out on a run later that day. “Stephen and Brandon will be in town for a DC Comics thing.”

“No, I can’t, man.  It’s our anniversary this weekend and I’m taking Y/N out of town, not that she knows that yet.,” I say with a wink.

“You sly dog! Going for #6, huh?”

“No, you perv.  It’s just that it’s our 20th and I want to make it memorable, not just the same thing I’ve done every year.  Life has revolved around the kids for so long but I want to show her that she’s still my number one and always will be.”

Jensen wiped an imaginary tear from his eye.  “That was beautiful.” (*cue me rolling my eyes*)  “Seriously, though, I think she’s going to love whatever you do.  Where are you going?”

“I found this secluded cabin down near Smithville that I think will really surprise her.  Now, let’s go.  I’m starving!”

Y/N’s POV

I’ve been doing some soul-searching the past couple days and I think I came up with a good idea.  I was going to go the romcom route and decorate the house with rose petals, candles, the whole nine yards.  We rarely have the chance to do full-romance so I want to spoil him and rock his world.

I called Sherri & Gerald while out shopping for supplies and they were overly eager to take the kids but I figured they just miss them.  When I got back home, Jared ran up to me like an excited puppy.

“Hey babe.  I have a big surprise for you.  Mom & Dad are taking the kids for the weekend while you & I spend 3 uninterrupted days locked away in a cabin, clothes optional.”

Wait, what? Well, that trumps anything I had planned!

“Wha-? Are you serious? No wonder Sherri didn’t sound surprised when I asked her to watch the kids.”

“What do you mean?”

“I was planning something for YOU and called your parents to watch the kids but let’s go with your plan.  It sounds amazing.”

“You’re amazing,” he says dreamily while gently tilting my head upwards and placing a simple kiss on my lips.  As he pulls back, I grab his shirt and begin to deepen the kiss before we’re (rudely) interrupted by the 3 older kids, 13yo Phoenix, 10yo Gianna, and 8yo Kieran.

“Please don’t give me a reason to need therapy...or eye bleach,” says Phoenix.  He rolls his eyes as I ruffle his curly hair.  Even though he’s barely a teenager, he already dwarfs me like his Sasquatch father.

“How do you think you guys got here, huh? Trust me, it wasn’t the stork,” Jared says to a chorus of gags.

*le time skip*

We dropped the kids off at the Padaleckis’ Friday morning.  Anika & Amara, the 6-year-old twins, were not happy that they couldn’t come with us but one promise of ice cream for breakfast later, we were on our way.  We took the truck that had a bench seat in the front so I sat right beside Jared during the drive.  The thought of giving Jared a little preview of this weekend crossed my mind but since I didn’t want to end up in a ditch, I gave up on that.

About an hour later, after a quick grocery run, we were pulling up in front of a cute, cozy-looking cabin that might not end up on the cover of a magazine but it was perfect for us.  After bringing in all our stuff, we settled on the couch with some wine and a movie, almost like awkward teenagers.  Jared even did the weird fake-stretch move which caused some giggles from us both.  As our laughter died down, the atmosphere changed distinctly.  I could see his eyes darken as he looked me up & down.

Jared’s POV

I don’t know who moved first but one minute, we were staring at each other and the next, I was pulling her into my lap, kissing her with everything I had.  I ran my hands down from her face to those luscious curves that I fell in love with.  We broke apart, panting into each other’s mouths and she motions with her head towards the bedroom. A trail of clothes follows behind us but that’s a problem for tomorrow because tonight, she’s the only thing I plan to think about.

Y/N’s POV

I turned around to give him the full view of the new lingerie set I bought.  The lust is clear in his eyes and any insecurity I had disappears.

“Do you like it?,” I whisper so as not to disturb the mood.  

He doesn’t answer verbally but picks me up and places me underneath him on the bed.  He’s kissing me again but it’s not like the couch kiss.  This is raw, unbridled passion like when we first got married. I reach behind me to unhook my bra while he slowly pulls it down my thong & garter as if he’s unwrapping a fragile present.  I’ve never felt sexier than right now with the way he’s looking at me from between my legs.

He knows all the right things to do to make me sing for him more than once. So glad he went with a secluded cabin because the neighbors would definitely know his name.  While it has been a bit since we could be together like this, we fell right back in sync, finding our rhythm.  

His grip is bruising on my hips, I leave scratches on his back.

I moan, he grunts, we finish together and ride the high.

I cuddle into his side as we catch our breath.  No words need to be spoken as we look in each other’s eyes, knowing that we needed this, needed to get back to each other.

[mipadremadara]

if you don't mind me asking a lot about the fic thing, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7, 8 and 9 (LMAO. all the list😂😂😂) for "Summer Nights"?? I REALLY NEED TO CAUGHT UP!!!! (You obviously can answer telling things about chapters I haven't read, btw, it's okay, haha). And if it's too much, you can answer just a few, hahaha. I'm just really curious because I reallyyyyy love the fic. ILY💖💖

Ahh thank you so much for this ask!!! Every time I get an ask from you my face immediately lights up ahaha. I'm so glad you like the fic??? Ahhhh! Ily too!! I hope you're having a nice day/night! I’ll only do Chapter 1 and 2 for now as to not spoil much! (I’m not sure which chapter you finished on haha.)

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?

I really really really like stories that just flow. That literally drift. I have no idea how to describe it, but I also love poetry and I thought by kind of incorporating that and a sort of movie vibe to it it'd capture people's hearts the way it haunts mine at night hahaha. 

 2: What scene did you first put down?

It must be the scene where Naruto is sitting outside the porch and looking at the night sky. The title is Summer Nights, after all! It's supposed to hint at the fact that Naruto and Sasuke share the most tender moments at night.

3: What’s your favorite line of narration?

There's so many that I like tbh!! But here are some of my favorite ones without spoiling too much!!

Chapter 1:

The man knew Sasuke would get rid of every photographic memory of his past and there would be no remaining snapshots of his lifetime left. Behind the everyday smiles and poking around the playgrounds, fairgrounds, Sasuke never dwelled on the topics that resurfaced even the slightest of human, perhaps weak emotions. And so was the shameless irony, pouring out, like vomit. 

I wanted to capture the sense of lingering trauma that still haunts Sasuke everyday. No matter how life seemed to come to a halt, or how things seemed to finally settle down, the pain will always prevail. And in a way, Naruto is the same, even if he masks it well. I feel like this was never truly explained so I wanted to show that they are still hurting; the wounds that were meant to heal only left bitter scars in the end.  

Writing from Sasuke’s POV is always very emotion-centered. I’d imagine Sasuke, as shown in the fic, is a little more open, especially around Naruto. He let his walls down, although not by choice. He had to prove to Konoha he changed, but around Naruto, he can truly be himself.

The Uchiha was all tall, strong arms and long fingers. He fondled them for a passing minute, pressing the raven’s palms against his own. After the War, they grew quite intimate, and really, everyone talked about it. He always looked forward to touching Sasuke, even if it was small, feathery nudges - like holding hands or giving each other small hugs. It reminded him how truly privileged he was to be around him. He savoured those bosom jiffies, and that night was no different.

I really like the fact that their relationship isn’t driven by lust, but more so an understanding. There’s a mutual connection here; two boys going through absolute Hell and finally close to settling down after a rough battle against the odds. No one knows Sasuke the way Naruto does and vice versa, I think it’s quite beautiful actually! Sasuke allowing himself to become intimate again by taking these baby steps, such as touching hands and small hugs, it’s very healing for the both of them! 

They stood still in that bleached moment. The love, the joy; it was burning passionately, bringing nothing but bloom to the cheek; showing no reruns. The smile, he considered a gift.

I just really love this bit. Reading it always makes me so soft haha. I think it sums up their whole relationship perfectly. 

Chapter 2:

Sakura made him feel like an utter imbecile. Like a love-struck damsel in distress.

Here, what Sakura really sees isn’t Naruto, but herself. She knows what it’s like to chase after Sasuke, and as much as she loves the two of them, she doesn’t want Naruto to get hurt. I just think this line was really cool haha. 

People often told Sasuke how he blended into the background while Naruto stood out from the crowd when they were together. Maybe that was why everyone deemed him worthy of being the next in line. They were polar opposites; like warm and cold. Fire and water. They just didn't fit. Supposed everyone told them similar scenarios, but they did not care much about the public and its predetermined ideas of what was right and what wasn't. It was arguably, the most bizarre finger-pointing he had the displeasure of witnessing. But he guessed Naruto loved the attention.

I really like this line, and not just because of the imagery used here, but because it shows how others see Naruto and Sasuke’s relationship. And also, that short dismissive ending paragraph I found to be super effective. 

The other girl, Hinata, made an attempt to lean forward to catch Naruto’s gaze. It was what made everyone lean towards her, too, no less in a charming way that she perhaps knowingly radiated. It caused Ino to take a step back, and Sasuke must’ve stood there for a few moments, listening to the soft mumbling of her lips. They began to ask Naruto questions in low, hushed, thrilling voices as if not to let Sasuke know any of it. He knew the girl had lost her brother during the War (at which he had expressed his deepest sympathy), but he couldn’t shake off the feeling that maybe Naruto was being deceived by her shy persona.

I loved describing Hinata, but not for the reasons you might think. No one aside from Naruto has been described in such detail, but Hinata. It’s to show that Sasuke, since it’s from his POV, considers her to be a competition. He knows she knows that she can easily woo people to do her bidding, and considering her status, Naruto would certainly be charmed. 

Hinata’s own voice held a timid passion behind it; a pleasant, mellow tenor that was very subtle, especially in the way her every uttered word suggested something greater than her face might have unveiled. Her face - on the other hand - was lovely. Caring eyes and a caring mouth conveying nothing but a feeling of fresh honey and lavender. Her hands looked smooth to the touch when she grazed them against Naruto’s rather tacky ones; as if she had never worked a day in her life. He could tell Naruto enjoyed looking at her.

Again, Sasuke knows this persona that Hinata created was quite deceiving and had Naruto wrapped around her finger. That is what he thinks, and as usual, assumes things because Naruto and Hinata are close. I also really like her description here, it radiates such soft vibes haha. 

He marveled in the way his laugh carried throughout the day, forcing even the biggest assholes in the universe to crack a smile.

I really like this line because Sasuke is talking about himself here; that Naruto is always successful at making him smile. 

The attachment to the outside world and the growth of his dubious mind was what made Sasuke overthink certain situations. The way it tangled, twisted, and knotted. He wanted to fondle Naruto's hands, listen to his heartbeat as his eyes grew heavy.

Agape; the sign of unconditional love. For his one and only.

I mean? These lines absolutely slap I think haha. 

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

I didn’t want to add too many so I just included a couple!

Chapter 1:

“You know, if you continue to frown like that, you’ll have lots of wrinkles in the future.”

I just love Sasuke’s attempt at comforting Naruto haha. 

Chapter 2:

“Don’t piss in my ear and tell me it’s raining, Sasuke.”

I just,, love this line so much. It always cracks me up hahaha. And of course, it’s Kakashi’s line. 

5: What part was hardest to write? 

Honestly? Probably the scene where they spar in the third chapter, as well as Gaara and Naruto's reunion! I loved writing it, but having to balance so much dialogue and narration was challenging.

6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?

What makes it special, well, it's my first fanfic! I tried writing one for so long, about 4 years! And being able to finally write something and share it with others feels amazing and so relieving after so long. 

 7: Where did the title come from?

The title came from this song called Summer Nights by Siames! I think it suits Naruto and Sasuke perfectly! It's such a nice song, it always makes me cry when I listen to it haha.

8: Did any real people or events inspire any part of it?

Many, if not all interactions are based on me and my girlfriend's conversations! There are so many and she always points it out to me after reading the newest chapter.

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

There was, actually! At first I wanted to write an AU canonverse version of the Akatsuki, where Naruto is exiled from the village and reunites with Sasuke. Because in this house we love evil Naruto and Kurama. But then I wanted to write something soft, something tender yknow? 

Again, thank you so much for asking!!! <3 

[casual-eumetazoa]

the taste of blunder

a writing challenge told me to write my own version of a short story i like, so i re-wrote Ray Bradbury’s ‘A Sound of Thunder’. it turned out weird. really damn weird... i won’t explain it just read it, it’s only 2k :)

---------------------

-Hello, boys. – Catherine Anderson, junior manager and human embodiment of Pinterest, tugged on her maximally pierced ear and smiled with her best customer service smile.

-Hi, Cathy. – Anwar muttered, gesturing at Greg behind his back. – You look lovely today. Have you, uh, - he squinted at her, - bleached your eyebrows?

-Not so fast. – She noticed them turning for the corridor and shook her head. – What are you losers up to again?

-Nothing! – Anwar lied enthusiastically.

-Absolutely nothing. – Greg stepped in. – We were hanging out in the skateboard park, practicing a new scooter trick - you know, as you do on a sunny Saturday morning - and then Jamila texted Anwar and asked him to buy her tampons. Which he did, like a good brother, helping his sis out in an emergency.

-Right. – Catherine raised an eyebrow. – And you came along.

-Like a good friend. – Greg nodded. – So, if you will excuse us, we need to locate the women’s bathroom.

Anwar waited for Cathy’s famous sarcastic laugh, but she was silent. He glanced at Greg. He flashed him a grin and moved towards the corridor.

-Have a great day, Cathy! – Anwar added before heading for the exit.

-Uh-hu. – She mumbled, already on her phone, undoubtedly engaging in another heated political discussion with a veil of bored calm on her face and a raging passion in her heart.

But the boys didn’t care. They have just successfully completed part four of the plan.

 -Phew. – Anwar heaved a sigh of relief. – Thanks, man. Top-notch improv.

-Don’t you think I overdid it a bit with the skateboard park? – He asked.

-Nah. – He assured him. – Trust me, Cathy’s clueless. We’re good.

The rest of the path brought no additional surprises. Ten minutes of turns and stairs and the two friends were standing in front of the launch room entrance. “Venture Entertainment – Trip of a Lifetime”, the sign read. Anwar fished in his pocket for the key. The fishing lingered.

-Don’t tell me you forgot it. – Greg hissed through greeted teeth.

In response, Anwar extracted the key and showed it to Greg before fitting it into the keyhole and opening the door.

-I never forget things. – Anwar said, stepping over the threshold. – As opposed to you.

And thus, shots were most certainly fired.

-These spacesuits are so 2015. – Greg proclaimed. He was done struggling with one boot and was preparing to do the same thing all over again with the other. – As well as two sizes too small for me.

-First of all, they aren’t spacesuits. – Anwar began. – We aren’t going to the ISS.

-Timesuits? – Greg suggested. – And we will be traveling in space, dude. Earth moves, and so does the Solar System, and the entire goddamned galaxy. Do you really expect it to be in the same place seventy million years ago?

-Second, - he continued as if he wasn’t interrupted, - the suits are a must. We can’t influence the past in any way. Not even with the air, we breathe out. We’ll stick to the path, follow the protocol, come back, and return the key to Jamila before she notices.

-Yeah, sure. – Greg nodded. He was now done with the other boot as well. – By the way, how the hell did you manage to steal it in the first place?

-She was hella distracted this morning. – Anwar shrugged. – Been yelling at mum about elections since breakfast.

-Who hasn’t been yelling about elections this week. – He scoffed.

-Mum voted for the Cheeto. – Anwar added and suppressed a sigh. – Doesn’t matter. Let’s go.

Both dressed in the ridiculous rubber suits, Greg and Anwar stepped on the platform, wished each other luck, and activated the system. The machine whirred and whistled, and the platform shook under their feet. “Is that it?”, Greg was about to ask when the whole world turned upside down and went black all of a sudden. He didn’t have time to complain. A few minutes later, he opened his eyes in a brand-new world… or, rather, a very old one.

-Woah. – Anwar beamed, spinning on the spot, trying to take in every detail.

-My thoughts exactly. – Greg said. – This is way better than IMAX.

The two guys stood on a transparent path that stretched for a few miles in both directions, hovering about half a meter above the ground. All around them was a vast dusty plane, and a soft wind blew into their helmet microphones. To their left, a group of large dinosaurs was munching on something that looked like an overgrown pineapple. To their right, another group was approaching a pond, their giant feet thumping against the dry ground. It was a kid book turned real life.

-Anwar, mate, - Greg put his gloved hand on his friend’s shoulder, - I must say, I had my doubts about the plan, and I was wrong. This was totally worth it. You know, as opposed to spending four years’ worth of summer job money on a ticket. Next week, I’m taking Alicia here. If that doesn’t make her wanna date me, nothing ever will.

 They spent what felt like half a day walking up and down the path, watching the dinosaurs, taking photos and admiring the view. While Anwar scrolled frantically through the species guide on his phone, playing some prehistoric version of Pokémon Go with himself, Greg sat down on the edge of the path and drew a sketch in his calculus textbook. This sure beat going to the museum and trying to recreate an image based on a skeleton.

-Hey. – Anwar said, taking a seat next to him. – The timer’s running down. We’ll be heading home soon.

-Got it. – Greg replied. – I’m nearly done here. Just give me a minute.

Anwar nodded, shifting his weight to his tiptoes, then back to his heels. The sun was hanging low over the horizon. Strange. Such a long time ago, and it seemed perfectly normal. Exactly like the sun he saw every morning in his bedroom window. He leaned in a tiny bit closer to focus on one of the trees in the distance. A one-inch shift, a slight moment of his body… and he slipped. With a short scream, Anwar toppled over the edge of the path and landed on the ground with a soft thump.

-Anwar?! – Greg was on his feet at once. – Are you okay?

Anwar’s reflexes were quicker than his conscious mind. Before he even realized what has happened, he had already pulled himself up and back onto the path. And there he sat, panting, eyes almost popping out of their sockets with shock and terror.

-Anwar? – Greg repeated.

-I’m good. – Anwar told him and swallowed hard. – But what about the timeline?

 Their hearts raced as the platform buzzed, whirred, and propelled them forwards in time. As soon as the world around them stabilized, Anwar grabbed his helmet and pulled it off his head. He disassembled his suit, one part after another, and tried to ignore the shaking of his fingers. The boots were the last to go. He took off the left one and held his breath as he turned it towards himself. Clean. He took the second one off. Turned it around. Stared at it in horror.

There, stuck to the sole of his right boot, was a beautiful, iridescent, and heartbreakingly dead beetle.

 -We’re screwed. – Anwar chanted, rocking back and forth on the floor. – We’re screwed. We’re so screwed.

-Jesus, get yourself together. – Greg rolled his eyes. – We’re back to the office, aren’t we? So, our species still clearly exists.

-You don’t understand! – Anwar exclaimed. – I killed a beetle. I killed it! The potential consequences of this kind of thing can be disastrous. Have you never watched Back to the Future? Anything could have happened! Hitler might have won the war. North might have never defeated the South. Maybe, - he muttered, progressively losing the feeble remains of calm, - maybe YouTube was never invented. For fuck’s sake, Greg, are you listening to me at all? How can you be on your phone right now?!

-I’m checking! – He replied. – All the major events. Seems fine so far.

-Check your newsfeed! – Anwar suggested and pulled out his own iPhone.

-Seems fine too. – Greg said, scrolling through his Facebook. – Dave is still overdoing every meme he has ever seen. Aunt Rachel is still posting bullshit about organic food. Your selfies still suck.

-Hey. – Anwar protested, but was ignored.

-O-kay. – He paused and tapped his fingers on the floor. – Anwar, mate… I have good news and bad news.

-Oh, cut to the chase, will you?

-Sure. – He nodded, and turned the phone screen towards Anwar.

-The hell. – Anwar muttered, staring at the screen in disbelief.

There, nestled in between an Adidas commercial and their university’s news page, was an article in the New York Times. “History was made today - Collins wins with seventy-three percent, becoming America’s first openly Blattosapient president” read the title, accompanied by a glamorous photo.

-No other way of putting it. – Greg concluded. – The new president… is a giant cockroach.

 They sat in silence for a while, trying hard to process what they just witnessed. Then, as if propelled into the air by an external force, Anwar jumped up to his feet and rushed towards the control panel of the Venture.

-What are you doing? – Greg asked, surprisingly calm.

-What do you think I’m doing?! – Anwar yelled back. – I’m going to fix this. Or try to fix this, at least. I mean… the president is a giant cockroach!

-Well, yeah. – Greg agreed. – But that doesn’t mean we have to change anything.

-What do you mean? – Anwar gestured vaguely, perplexed. – The president is a cockroach! And I caused it. Jamila will kill me!

-How will she ever know? – He shrugged. – As far as she is concerned, this is all normal.

-Well, maybe. – Anwar agreed. – But the president…

-…is a giant cockroach. Yeah, I know. But that doesn’t mean he’s bad! Don’t be a xenophobe, Anwar. Give the guy a chance!

-Are you out of your fucking mind? – Anwar wondered, not even expecting an answer.

-No, seriously. – Greg laughed. – Think about it. He won by a seventy-three percent majority. Surely, he can’t be that terrible. And even if he’s not the best… how much worse could it be?

-Well. – Anwar muttered and sat back on the floor. – Maybe you’re right. Like… do I really wanna make sure that Trump wins?

-Exactly. – Greg clapped his hands. – I say, this has to be a change for the best.

-Damn. – Anwar rubbed his eyes, exhausted both emotionally and physically. – I’m sorry, Greg, but we’re so not taking Alicia here. Ever.

 They sat at the local café, drinking Sprite and catching up on all the modified news. So far, at least judging by their social media feed, the elected Collins seemed to be much less divisive than his orange alternative.

-I have so many questions. – Anwar said. – The cockroach people. Are they like, a separate species? Or a genetic experiment of some sort? Or aliens? And is there a lot of them? And if so, why are there no cockroach people in this place? Are they all celebrating or something? Also, it said in the NY Times article that he’s the first openly cockroach president. The hell does that mean - openly? Are they suggesting there might have been cockroach presidents before, but no one knew about it? Were they wearing human body suits or some shit?

-Anwar. – Greg interrupted his anxious rant. – Chill. Also, stop saying cockroach. Based on this, khm, colorful comment section, I’m pretty sure it’s a slur.

-I wonder if anything else has changed. - Anwar continued, sipping on his drink. – This Sprite tastes kinda funny.

-The taste of blunder. – Greg joked. – And no, doesn’t seem so.

-Alright. – He nodded. – Okay. I can live with that. – He paused, staring into the opposite wall. – Anyway. The new guy… is he democrat or republican?

[mini-pretzel]

the stranger 1

Genre: angst, fluff, light smut

Music: loser

Additional tags: mentions of smut, lots of angsttttt, mention of death

Word count: 10k

A/N: so this was supposed to be a oneshot, a simple one time story. but knowing me things escalated quickly.

In which a mint haired stranger is all that’s on your mind.

He was on your mind again. It’s gotten worse than before; how insistent your thoughts were about him.

At first it was only a few innocent questions floating around in your brain of how he was doing and what he was up to, then it grew into something along the lines of wanting to feel his body against yours again. To feel his cold fingers graze the back of your neck and down your collarbones, to feel his breath against the goosebumps on your skin, to feel a smile form against your cheek as he thrust into you that much deeper.

At this point it’s become quite bothersome how invested you were in this man. And, to be honest, what were you so invested in him for? You didn’t even known his name, or anything about him for that matter.

You had only met him once, weeks ago at a party you attended simply because Jimin dragged you there. The guy had gotten sick and tired with you always moping around. So, he had decided to kidnap you as his hostage for the night, his intentions being very clear: not one more sad and lonely night on your couch with a disturbing amount of alcohol, ice cream and take out boxes full of deep fried noodles. Not one. You were better than that. You were done with that.

But Jimin understood your predicament. Break-ups were shit - he knew that all too well.

And even though you had been dumped recently and for others that turn of events had come out of nowhere, deep in your heart you knew why it had to be that way and, sadly, it was of no surprise to you.

You were with your ex, Minhyuk, for a while and things were great at first. You got comfortable with one another pretty quickly. At some point it had even seemed as though you were going to make it in the long run, with your interactions filled with knowing smirks and inside jokes.

You both had wanted the same things, had similar aspirations, goals and you clicked. But, a couple months back, when problems started to show their ugly head, tension started to pile up and cause misunderstandings to arise--and it became difficult to see eye to eye--it hurt you. It seemed as though it started with the smallest of things that could be fixable, but quickly grew into larger, more serious issues that allowed no room for compromise.

 For example, you had wanted to get a cat, meanwhile he hated cats with a burning passion, calling them demon spawns, and opted the two of you got a dog instead. You didn’t.

 You wanted to travel the world and learn about different cultures, meanwhile he was already well-travelled and hated the idea. He had said the idea was too romanticized and impractical.

 You wanted to save up for a house and it turned out he hated houses. He was always frivolous with his spending; much preferring to buy designer clothes and expensive foreign colognes that made your nose sting and eyes water. Your once quiet evenings were suddenly filled with passive-aggressive quips and choking tensions or full-blown fights with resolution in sight.

 It was difficult to see your relationship deteriorate at such a slow pace with no way out. It felt like a car crash in slow motion that you couldn’t look away from, too entranced to unbuckle the seat belt fast enough to get out.

 So when he sat you down at that coffee shop down the street from where you lived--the coffee shop you first met him at (funny how those things worked)--you already knew exactly what was going to be said and how much it would hurt.

 You had loved him, despite all of his flaws and your incompatibility. And a part of you foolishly held onto the belief that maybe, just maybe, if you two stuck it out you’d get past your differences and would be able to make a life together that you both would be proud of.

 In your head, you had built up the perfect life with him; a home full of love, a deck with flowers, a tabby cat that would somehow win over his heart when he follow him home, and maybe, possibly even a ring. The promise of forever. You had hoped for that, you had worked so hard to keep your relationship from shattering for that. That ideal life with him.

 Unfortunately, Minhyuk did not share the same sentiment. He laid out his feelings about you very openly on the table. And at that moment, with you sitting in that awfully comfortable chair across from him--with coffee in front of you that you didn’t dare to touch because of the knots in your stomach--staring at into his eyes and knowing fully well that it would be the last time you would see his face, you felt a realization dawn on you. You realized how hopeless it all had been.

 “I just think it would be better for the both of us.” you heard him say as your image of him became a blur.

 “Plus, I already have someone else I’ve been getting close to.”

 And that was it. The straw that broke the camel’s back.

 You felt the tears trail down your cheeks.

 You cried over the failure that was your relationship, you cried over the years spent trying to fix what otherwise should have been signs that it would never work out, you cried over how you let him walk over you and your all-too-kind heart, you cried over always letting him win arguments because all you wanted was to be happy with him, and you cried over the fact that he had been completely not what you imagined, completely unlike the ideal imagine you had concocted in your mind.

 The real him was sitting in front of you, stark different from the person you had created in your head.

 And, finally, you cried over the life you would never get to live with him. The perfect, ideal life that was never meant to be.

 After that, it felt as if something had been ripped out of your soul--your heart, most likely--and you didn’t have an appropriate way to cope.

 So, you secluded yourself in your apartment, away from everyone in your life and threw yourself a pity party that lasted long enough for one of your closest friends, Jimin, to notice and grow increasingly concerned over.

 So that’s why you were at that party that night, with a drink in your hand that was much more sweet than alcoholic, eyeing around the room in hopes of finding a quiet spot to slip away to and hide because you just did not want to be there…

 That’s when he had caught your eye, or more like, his hair did. His mint green fluffy hair that looked too soft and perfectly styled, making you want to run your hands through it and tousle it into a fine mess. It was unusual, to see that colour worn so boldly, it had been evidently bleached by an expert and dyed to look the perfect shade.

 You found yourself swallowing, you hands suddenly feeling extra clammy around your glass as the feeling of eagerness washed over you. You found yourself wanting to go over to start a conversation despite the nervous pricks in your stomach. You were ready to face the anxiety that usually held you back, just to hear what his voice sounded like. You bet it sounded gentle to the ear as his whole presence seemed calming and reassuring somehow.

 And before your mind could register what you were doing--and stop you, like it always did, because this was not like you--you were on your way over to him, eyes glued onto his relaxed stature and the humble-sized biceps that were peeking nicely from under his loose tshirt.

 You wanted a piece of that calmness he emitted. You wanted to feel that within you, for him to soothe the inner turmoil in your chest. Or maybe you just wanted anything he would give you. You would take anything as long as it was from him.

 “Hey,” you had said and cursed yourself at how weak you sounded. You had wanted to make a good impression for some reason. Maybe because he was such a mystery to you and you were enthralled in piecing everything about him together. Figuring him out, who he was, how he worked. Uncloaking every little quirk that made up this mint tinted man.

 He turned to you and once your eyes met his you knew you were done for. They were gentler than you anticipated; warm and held a depth that would take years to figure out, but you suddenly were willing to try.

 “Hey, yourself.” he said and smiled, eyeing you from up down before meeting your gaze again. He had a gorgeous smile; albeit a little goofy with how his gums flashed so easily, but endearing enough to pull at your heartstrings.

 You couldn’t remember what you talked about after that, there had been enough booze in your system to cancel out any information you could have gotten from him; like his age, hobbies or interests, or even his name. But you found yourself not caring, despite the fact you were so enthralled in figuring him out just moments before.

 Maybe it was because you were still hurt and healing and all you wanted was company. Maybe because you were lonely and wanted to silence the dull ache with his laugh. Maybe because he was actually showing an interest in you and feeding that part of you that desperately craved that validation only another human being could provide. You didn’t know. All you knew was…

 You took him home that night.

 It seemed as though you didn’t even have to ask if he wanted to come along with you or not, as he had already made up his mind as soon as he started talking to you. And you didn’t mind that bold confidence or directness. In fact, you reveled in it. Your past few weeks had been so uncertain, so muddy, so bleak, dark and murky, that it was like a breath of fresh air to have someone so sharp and certain take the lead. He was a breath of fresh air, his whole presence was.

 You had slept with him, and he took care of you throughout it. You didn’t remember much, that of being intoxicated so strongly thanks to the copious amounts of sugar in your cocktails. You did, however, recall that you cried and that he wasn’t creeped out or turned off by it in the slightest, which in turn made your chest feel even tighter.

 He had called you sweetheart and dearest, and kissed you so deeply it felt like as if it meant something to him, like the two of you had been together for years. And all of that was a little too much for you to handle. He had been too caring to someone like you. Someone who was merely a one night stand.

 You weren’t stupid, you knew that’s all that it was, all it had to be. Even if your heart was making grandiose leaps into the illusions, the possibilities of something much more.

 Your mind was quick to tell your heart just how ridiculous the whole fantasy scenario was. Waking up the next morning to a cold spot next to you had proved it. However, there was something about him that seemed different and it made the thought of him stick with you. You knew there was something about him that made him different -- the perfect night sleep that came with sleeping next to him had confirmed it for you.

 So now you were at another party, yearning, hoping to run into him again to see if you could get another taste of his skin. If you closed your eyes you could still remember the way his fingers trailed down your body, phantom touches that were a hazy memory of that intoxicated night. The way his temples got sweaty from going too hard, how his dark eyes gazed over you with a look that you couldn’t place, wouldn’t dare to ask, but wanted to know everything about. The way your bodies fit into each other in such a delicious, satisfying way.

 You heard your name and jumped a little out of your skin, imagining it was him saying it like he had done so that night, in his low, gruff but somehow soothing voice. Sadly, this time it was not him.

 “What are you so spaced out for?”

 An arm snaked around you and you looked to your right to see Jimin’s concerned eyes trailing over your features. Your best friend always was such a worrier, especially when it came to you.

 “Just have some work stuff on my mind.” you lied. He didn’t know about your nightly escapade with a mint haired stranger and you wanted to keep it that way. You weren’t ready to tell anyone about it, especially since it had only been just sex and just once. There was something about it, like that little anonymity that made you feel proud and confident, and outing it would break that little illusion for you. You wanted to hold on a little longer to the feeling the whole thing gave you. Maybe, in a few weeks, once you got over him and his charming ways you would come clean. But not now, not when it was all so fresh in your mind.

 “Honey, you’re not at work right now. It’s okay to leave those things till later, they will all still be there tomorrow.” Jimin said in his soft voice as he massaged your shoulder which you hadn’t even noticed had become tense in your lie.

 Jimin had always called you honey when he wanted to calm your anxiety down, that sweet word had served as your anchor in multiple situations in the past. Many people saw that as him liking you more than a friend or the relationship having connotations that ran deeper than just a normal friendship, but people saw a lot of things that weren’t exactly true.

 You smiled, bringing your hand that wasn’t holding a glass of cheap whisky and coke cover his and giving it a reassuring squeeze. “I know, I just… It’s better to think about that than him.”

 Jimin nodded knowingly and you felt guilt burn in your stomach because you knew that the two of you were on separate pages when it came to which him you were referencing. The him had changed since that night, but that update was only known to you.

 “It’ll all be okay. It takes time, but you’ll be free of him.” Jimin said as he turned his hand to press his palm against yours and you held onto him a little tighter.

 You will tell him. “Thanks, Jimin.” But not yet. “It means a lot to me that you’re here.”

 “Always, honey.”

 You smiled at his words, bringing the cold drink to your lips.

 “Now,” your eyes met his and you saw mischief dancing behind them and raised an eyebrow, “Let’s see how many shots we can take before we fall over our asses.”

 Your smile turned devious.

 “You’re on.”

-

 The next morning the first thing you remember is your consciousness slowly coming back to you from the dark haze of sleep and the undoubtable heaviness in your head.

 You were in bed, not yours, but it was familiar. After a few moments of feeling around the fabric and inhaling the scent, your mind made the connection that it was Jimin’s. Which meant your best friend was probably nearby, possibly on the couch or possibly in the kitchen.

 But you would have to peel yourself from the sheets to find out for sure.

 You cracked your eyes open just enough to sort of make out the shapes of the furniture in the room as you sat up and stretched. You footsteps creaked against the wooden floor as you made your way across the room. After you opened the door, the smell of pancakes and bacon filled your nose. Jimin was definitely up, and definitely in the kitchen.

 Hobbling over to the bathroom, you did what you needed to do and washed your face before staring at your reflection for a little too long. Taking in your messy hair, the dark circles under your eyes, that one pimple that Jimin swore was barely noticeable but to you was so prominent on your face you wished you could claw it off. You had no idea how you were attractive enough to land a one night stand, especially with a man as good looking as the mint haired stranger.

 Would he even remember you if you met him again? Would he want to repeat that night, if you asked? A small voice inside of you sounded doubtful.

 You shut your eyes and sighed deeply. You were not going to get anywhere if you started your day off picking yourself apart; you had promised to be gentler with yourself, especially after your breakup. Well, that promise was mostly because of Jimin and to Jimin. But you promised it to yourself as well, no matter how hard it seemed to be at some moments.

 Throwing one last look at yourself in the mirror, your eyes staring back at you with disappointment, you exited the bathroom and made your way down the stairs.

 When you got to the kitchen, you were greeted by a very hungover Jimin sitting at the counter and groaning into his palms, and a very chipper Seokjin making breakfast behind it.

 You joined Jimin on the island table.

 “Remind me again why last night was such a good idea?” you mumbled as you picked the sleep away from your eyes, your sight adjusting to the morning light.

 “Because it was fun.” Jimin responded, looking pale in the face and like he didn’t even believe his own words.

“You wouldn’t think that looking at you now, Jimin.” Seokjin retorted and laughed when Jimin sighed dramatically at his quip.

 “Shut up old man, you don’t even have the liver to handle the party we went to.” Jimin grumbled as if it was something to be proud of and crossed his arms before slouching in his seat, looking grouchy.

 “We both know that’s not true, little man.”

 At that Jimin pouted like a child and you used that as the opportunity to change the topic.

 “What’s for breakfast?” you asked Seokjin, trying to peer over the counter to see what he was preparing. You could already smell some of it even when you were in the other room, but knowing Seokjin he would put something in there to spice it up.

 “Oh you know, the standard,” Seokjin began, “pancakes, bacon, some sausage,” he paused and raised a plate of diced octopus, “and some fried octopi!” he looked so proud of himself you didn’t have the heart to tell him how weird that combination had sounded.

 “That’s too much sodium, Jinnie.” Jimin complained in a high-pitched voice.

 You nodded, sharing his sentiment. “Anything sweet?” you peered.

 “Strawberries.” Jin said with a wink as he held up a large bowl of ripe and radiant looking red berries. You could practically taste them on your tongue - they looked that good.

 “Tae would love those.” Jimin said after an audible swallow. “Speaking of which, where is that sucker?” Jimin said to himself as he peeled himself from the seat.

 Before Seokjin could open his mouth to respond Jimin was already hobbling over to one of his many guest bedrooms. “Tae! Get your ass up! We’re having strawberries and fried octopus bits for breakfast!”

 “He really shouldn’t call them octopus bits.” Jin tsked, “They’re just chopped tentacles.”

 “Still doesn’t make it sound any less unappealing.” you admitted, but he just brushed you off and placed a loaded plate in front of you.

 “Strawberries only after you finish your food.” he said in a motherly tone as he held up a fork. You rolled your eyes, despite an amused smile playing at your lips, before grabbing it.

 “I don’t think I’ll be able to finish all this, Seokjin.”

 “Call me Jin, please. We’ve known each other long enough for you to drop the formalities.”

 “Okay, Jin it is then.”

 Then a silence stretched, save from a couple of your muffled chewing noises and the sound of your fork scratching against the plate.

 Jin went over to the fridge and took out a carton of orange juice and later a few classes from the cupboard. He unscrewed the cap and filled a few glasses.

 “So, how are you holding up?”

 You paused as you stared at him, mouth filled with a mixture of pancake, sausage and chopped octopus. It actually wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be. Jin knew how to put the right spices to make it work with the dish.

 After a moment of confused blinking, you force swallowed the food awkwardly, almost choking and grabbed the glass of orange juice Jin held out to you.

 “Thanks.” you breathed after you downed the entirety of its contents in one go. Your chest hurt after that amount of food going down at once. Wincing, you pressed your palm against it as if it would help ease the pain.

 Jin shrugged as if his gesture meant nothing, almost as if it had been something that you should have expected for him to do. “So…?”

 You stared at him, not knowing what to say. “Are you asking about my break up?”

 Jin took a long drink of his juice and nodded. “That, and that mint haired guy you went home with a couple weeks ago.”

 Crap. He knew. Oh, crap, Jin knew. If Jin knew that meant-

 “Does Jimin-”

 “I haven’t told anyone about what I’ve seen. Jimin was too drunk and busy sucking face with Taehyung that night to notice.”

 You breathed out a loud sigh, relief filling your chest, but it was soon followed by guilt. You bit your lip, brows furrowing. You would tell Jimin about your one night stand, but not yet. You weren’t ready to deal with him questioning everything about the guy -- a guy you didn’t even know the name of.

 “It’s not like that, Jin.” you said, setting the fork aside, suddenly not feeling very hungry. “I don’t usually sleep with guys I hardly know.”

 Jin hummed, “I know that, even though I haven’t known you as long as Jimin has.” and something about that line made it sting for you. You repressed a wince.

 “I was drunk and not thinking straight-” you began but Jin cut you off with a raise his hand.

 “You don’t need to try to defend yourself with me.” Jin sighed, “It’s not my business what you do or who you take to bed,” he said, tone even, “But I do worry if you’re jumping into things a little too soon, or developing feelings for the wrong people while you’re in such a tender state after such a fresh breakup. That,” he said as he poked your nose gently, “is what I have the right to worry about. Especially since I don’t want to see you hurt again.”

 “Thank you for being concerned, but I’m okay,” you smiled meekly, “I just think I’m going through the rebound phase, it should surely pass.”

 Jin nodded, mulling over your words. “I understand. I’m sorry if I seemed too forward, I just don’t want you to start hoping for anything more than a one night stand with that-” his nose scrunched, “that guy.”

 It was sweet of him, to worry about you like that. But you were a big girl, you knew it was just a one night stand for both parties that night. And even if you were curious about the man behind that gummy smile, it was still a little too much to-

 Then something clicked in your brain and you narrowed your eyes at him before opening your mouth to unleash the words in a cold tone. “What do you mean, Jin? That guy? Why did you say that in that tone?”

 Jin looked taken aback by your question and quickly averted his eyes. “Nothing you need to be concerned about. I’m just looking out for you.”

 Your jaw clenched. “Bullshit.”

 Jin sighed again. “It’s nothing, it’s-”

 “No. Don’t bullshit me, Jin. Please. Not you.” you said, your voice steady, despite your hands shaking. “What do you know about him that made you say that? Tell me. You know something, Jin.”

 Jin’s stare was heavy as he opened his mouth to say something, that’s when you heard Jimin stomping back to the kitchen.

 “Tae is still asleep and it’s so hard to get him out of bed, that mother-” he stopped in his tracks as he surveyed the room and the uncomfortable atmosphere between you two. “Did I interrupt something?”

 “No, you didn’t Jimin.” Jin said with a strained smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. You mirrored his expression.

 “Everything’s fine.” your voice sounded off and you knew it.

 He looked between the two of you with a concerned gaze, calculating, before shrugging, and dropped it. “If you say so.”

 Just then a yawn erupted behind him, a tanned long slender arm wrapped around his neck and a sleepy Tae appeared from behind him with his hair sticking out in all directions. “Morning, peeps.” he said, stretching and rubbing his eye. “Breakfast?”

 “Come and get it while it’s still hot.” Jin was back to his usual motherly persona, and you picked up your fork to move around the food on your plate.

 “Sweet,” Taehyung grinned as he made his way towards the table, dragging a protesting Jimin with him by the neck, “I heard something about strawberries.”

 “After you finish your food.”

 “Yes, mom.”

 Jin rolled his eyes as he handed him a plate.

 You stole a glance at Jin before making conversation with Taehyung, inquiring about his activities last night.

 At some point in your conversation you made eye contact with Jin again, your stare conveying one message and one message only.

 You will definitely be finishing that conversation.

 Just who was that mint haired gummy smiled stranger that got Jin so worked up?

 -

 Unfortunately finishing that conversation would prove to be an unsuccessful pursuit, at least for the past few days. As it turned out, Jin could be very good at hiding if the situation demanded it and he, of course, had no problem applying himself. The fact that he was so hard to get a hold of had set off further alarm bells in your mind. You had to get to the bottom of the situation. You had to find out what he knew and why he was so adamant on not telling you any of it.

 Jin wasn’t the type to worry over nothing, so if he was troubled over your one night stand, then something was up. He wasn’t just showing concern, he was warning you about something. But he clearly seemed to be holding back in telling you the reason why. And come hell or high water, you were going to unravel that mystery.

 “So yeah, you’ll be there this Saturday, right?”

 You blinked, caught off guard before emitting an unsure ‘yeah’ into the receiver. You could hear Jimin sigh softly over the line and you smiled apologetically even though he couldn’t see you.

 Your best friend was once again suggesting you attend another party with him. Somewhere between him telling you about his plans to play beer pong and do lots of body shots you got lost in your head over the truth behind that one night stranger. And technically you weren’t against the idea of going, you just didn’t like how depressed you got after too many tequila shots were flowing in your bloodstream. And there was that whole deal with Jin you still had to resolve. You didn’t want the resolution to be at a party.

 “I swear, sometimes I think I need to upgrade my best friends list.”

 You blinked, quiet for a moment, before letting out a weak laugh. “Sorry, Jimin. I just have a lot on my mind.”

 “I can tell.” his voice sounded agitated, but empathetic nonetheless. “You know you can always talk to me, right?”

 And there it was again, that ugly guilt forming as a lump in your throat you tried so desperately to swallow before you responded. “Yeah, I know, Jimin.”

 Jimin was quiet for a moment.

 “I have a preposition.”

 “What is it?” you asked immediately, curiosity transparent in your voice.

 “Let’s do what we always did when there was too much bothering us.”

 A small smile grew on your face because you knew exactly where he was going with that statement.

 “Let’s get shit faced and just vent all about our problems to each other, like we did in college.”

 “Like about that guy that thought the perfect first date was to take you to a fast food joint?”

 Jimin snorted, before responding. “What about that guy that you you were crushing on in your sociology class that told you you reminded him of his mother?”

 “What about that shitty mark you got on your research paper?”

 “I formatted it right! The professor just hated me cause my ass looked better than hers.”

 Your heart squeezed in your chest, remembering those nights. They always held a special place in your heart. You loved them because it was just you and Jimin; two voices and thoughts that just understood each other without having the need to explain themselves too much. And there was no fear of expression or regrets. It was just emotion and encouragement. Jimin was a wonderful listener and an even better supporter.

 The sudden rush of affection you felt for your best friend almost made you tell him about the one night stand then and there, but you held back. It would be better to do it in person, because that’s what made it so special. And a little alcohol always loosened the tongue too.

 “Let’s.” you agreed, “That’s just what we need - a good rant and a good cry.”

 “That’s just what you need, honey.”

 You grinned so big the muscles in your cheeks were straining.

 “I don’t deserve you.”

 “Yeah, yeah. I’m the best. You’re getting a bill for all the bullshit you make me put up with.”

 That made you laugh into the receiver.

 -

 The night of the party came quicker than you thought. Unfortunately, not much has changed since you discussed your plans with Jimin. You were still planning on getting completely smashed and telling him everything that has been plaguing you for the past few weeks and you still had a situation to solve with Jin.

 Except, Jin was still nowhere to be found. You texted him throughout the week and even called him a couple times, but it all went to voicemail. You couldn’t ask Jimin about him because that would raise suspicion. You wanted to make up with Jin on your own without having to explain everything to Jimin beforehand. Because of that, it really bothered you that Jin was making it difficult for you to communicate with him.

 Your eyes trailed around the room, taking in the nameless bodies in the differently coloured hues. You knew no one, and you weren’t sure if that was a bad or a good thing. On one hand, it was good that you didn’t know anyone because all you wanted to do was slip away and find Jimin because you were itching to do what you had talked about on the phone. On the other, a part of you wanted to blend into the sea of people because, who knew, maybe, just maybe you would be able to run into him again.

 The man that you had been unable to remove from your head for weeks. The man that had made a lasting impression. The man with the roughest of hands that had the softest of touches. The man with the charming gummy smile.

 You knew it was probably a bad idea - he was a stranger, a one night stand for crying out loud. But a part of you had grown too attached to the memory of that night. And that made you unable to clear your mind of the way he made you feel. It wasn’t just the physical stuff anymore. He had comforted you when you were at your lowest. You couldn’t not have let that not have an effect you.

 Just one more night and you would let it go. You had to have a taste of him again.

 “I need to do this just once more, then I can start anew.” you said to yourself.

 Like ripping off a band-aid.

 And just like that, your decision was made.

 With those words stuck on repeat in your mind, you stepped into the crowd. Your heard turned from one side to another in your little pursuit of the mint haired stranger. You weren’t completely certain you would run into him, but a naive part of you was foolish enough to try. Your mind knew that it was stupid and utterly desperate, but the desire to see him again outweighed the embarrassment that crawled through you as you searched.

 His hair was the easiest indicator that it was him --- you had not met anyone else after him that had the exact same colour or haircut. That’s why you were sure the moment you saw it that it was him, even if it startled you at first into doing a double take.

 You felt your mouth suddenly go dry as you studied it. It definitely was him. He was here. You found him. After weeks of obsessing, you could finally sate the thirst you felt for wanting to be in his presence and finally let him go.

 And also learn why Jin had been so against him. You figured if Jin wouldn’t tell you, you’d find out from the man himself.

 “Hey, stranger.” you said, a smile spreading on your face as you saw the hair turn and those familiar deep brown eyes survey you once more. “Come here often?”

 He shared your smile. “Hey, yourself.” his eyes had been just as mischievous and deep as that night. He remembered. He remembered you. “How’s it going, beautiful?”

 “Good. Better now that I ran into you.” you weren’t sure where this boldness had come from, you were usually more reserved. Then again, the last time you two interacted you had been just as forward, taking him home without much of a second thought. Without even bothering to remember his name.

 His smile grew as his eyebrows raised up his forehead. “Really, now? Why is that?” he seemed amused, genuinely curious.

 Now or never.

 “Because I wanted to see you.”

 He was standing closer to you now. You could feel his body heat against yours and realized how much you missed it. His smell had been the same as that night too, the cologne that was hard to place but immediately brought back the memories of sweat and heavy breaths. Your pillow had that same scent for a day after, too. It was a smell that was hard to forget.

 “Really? Tell me more, beautiful.”

 You leaned closer, your lips close to his ear and you knew he felt your breath because he shivered as you said, “Because I want to take you home again.”

 Now it was your turn to feel his breath against your earlobe.

 “Is that so, beautiful? And do what?”

 Goosebumps formed on your skin even though you weren’t cold and strong shiver ran down your spine -- you loved every moment of it.

 “And do something we both know is too obscene to talk about here.”

 “Oh, I’m sure no one will hear you.”

 Your hand had a mind of its own when it decided to slide up his torso, feeling the fabric of his shirt and the familiar outline of his body. He pressed closer to you, making your thighs and knees touch.

 “A daring one, aren’t you, beautiful?” you heard his amusement in your ear.

 “Completely different to last time, huh?”

 “No, about the same. I liked that about you last time, and I like that about you now.”

 Heat rose in your cheeks and you were thankful he couldn’t see your face and that it was dark in the room. You felt his nose press into your hair and didn’t want him to ever pull away.

 “Besides, you’re more comfortable with me now.”

 You weren’t about to disagree, after all, he was right. It’s much easier second time around, now that you had an idea of what he was like in bed -- how kind and gentle he was at making you come apart and piecing you back together. Knowing that made you daring in ways you hadn’t ever been before.

 He was so close to you now, you could get a whiff of the faint smell of the detergent he used to wash his clothes. It mixed with his cologne so pleasantly you wanted to drown in it. It all was so familiar, his smell, his smile, his words. Even though originally your memory was foggy on the details, one thing was certain -- it was all coming back to you now, bit by bit. His strong presence, his alluring persona. A bit of a bite before the soft kiss. Everything that you committed to memory about this man.

 And you realized, with a tightness in your chest that you needed him. Fuck, you really needed him. And you were so fucking desperate for doing so.

 “Are you more comfortable with me?” you questioned, taking your time to enjoy the fabric of his shirt and the warm skin of his neck under your finger tips.

 You felt his hand slide up the side of your arm and stop to cup your cheek as he leaned back to stare at you.

 “I may be a little crazy for saying so, since we’ve only met once before, but yes.” he said and the words sounded so honest coming from him it made your heart squeeze.

 “Want to get even more comfortable somewhere private?” you realized how needy you must have sounded to him, but you were far too gone to care. You needed him in your system, just seeing him again told you that.

 His eyes, dark as they already were, somehow managed to become just a tad bit darker. “With pleasure, beautiful.”

 And with that you felt the warmth of his hand enclasp yours and you were pulled out of the room, far from the crowd, the music and people’s eyes.

 “By the way,” you started, looking at the back of his head as you trailed behind him. He looked back at you as he kept walking, close enough for your arms to be touching.

 “What’s your name?”

 A small smile flashed on his features as if there was an inside joke you both were in on. “Yoongi.”

 Yoongi.

 Now that was one secret uncovered. You felt yourself smile back at him, somehow feeling closer to him.

Maybe, just maybe it could be more.

 Then, for a split second, your eyes caught Jimin in the crowd, looking around in a worried manner. Guilt pierced through your stomach.

 “I’m sorry, Jimin.” you mumbled turning away to follow Yoongi out of the house.

 You needed Yoongi.

 And, you were getting your answers one way or another. No matter the cost.

 -

 When you got to your place, Yoongi did not waste any time pinning you against the wall and capturing your lips with his own. There was a quick ‘Careful, dear’ and a steady hold on your arm as you took off your shoes before you felt him close the distance between you and it nearly knocked the breath out of you. You whimpered against his tight grip, marveling at the hotness of his mouth and softness of his lips. You realized how much you remembered the feel of them, and how much you had missed them.

 As you kept kissing him you felt yourself grow lightheaded. There was no room to breathe, and while that should have concerned you, the thrill that it sent with a shiver down your spine left you chasing the feeling. There was no turning back now, he was right there with you and, just for tonight at least, he was all yours. As yours as he could ever be.

 “Bed?” you breathed out as he pulled away to trail wet kisses down your jawline, each damp mark sending electricity through your skin. You weren’t in the most eloquent state, your mind turning into mush thanks to his tactile abilities, but you were trying to speak in a way that communicated your thoughts.

 “Please.”

 You felt him hum against your neck in agreement and it felt so sensitive against your skin that warmth spread on your cheeks. God, you were already so weak in your knees. This was dangerous. Yoongi was dangerous.

 As if in a trance, you lead him closer to your bed, stumbling over some things that were left by you on the floor carelessly. You really should have cleaned your apartment before you brought him home. Who knows what Yoongi thought of you now that he had bumped into the mess in the room. That thought momentarily scolded you, but Yoongi’s lips on yours made all worry vanish as quickly as it appeared.

 You felt your calves press against the bed and your body caught against the solid build that was Yoongi. He was everywhere, all around you, his whole presence filled every little corner of your tiny living quarters. And with your arms around his neck and him tentatively working his lips against yours it suddenly felt as if he never left. All of the memories of that night were rushing into your head, like distant photographs.  

 He wasn’t a typical one night stand.

 Yoongi’s hand trailed down your arm and grabbed a hold of your hip gently, then you were pushed into a sitting position on the bed, making it creak and sheets dip and crease from where you sat.

 Once he pulled away from devouring your lips you heard him whisper something that sounded so faint and quiet, but you could have sworn sounded like your name.

 A lump caught in your throat. “Huh?”

 Yoongi said it--your name--again, before pressing his lips against the underside of your jaw and arms enveloping around you, creating a warm barrier that felt to innocent in comparison to the things that were sure to follow.

 Something soft sprouted in your heart and you pulled him closer, bringing him to press his knees on the sides of your thighs and make him sit comfortably in your lap.

 “You remember my name?”

 He smirked, his face so close to yours that your noses were touching. “You’re a hard woman to forget.”

 Oh, fuck. You tried not to think too much into those words, but your curious tongue spoke before you could catch it.

 “Really? How come?”

 Yoongi let out a dry laugh, his grin looking something akin to a Cheshire cat’s. “It’s not every day I meet a woman that cries on during a one night stand.”

 Your cheeks were definitely on fire, the amount of shame you felt was palpable.

 “Oh, sorry about that.”

 “Don’t be.” his smile was gentler now, with less of a bite. “I enjoyed making you feel good, and comforting you after.”

 You closed your eyes and tried to even your breathing. You really weren’t doing good with the whole one-more-night-and-then-I’ll-forget-about-him thing. No, definitely not. Instead, you were slipping more and more into Yoongi’s whole being, drowning in his touch, words and laugh and you were not sure you were going to make it out alive.

 After a moment of silence, not awkward at all, just still and existent, Yoongi unwrapped his arms from you and moved to plop beside you, cocking his head to the side to look over you with a curious glance behind his eyes. “You have questions.”

 “H-How did you know that?”

 “I’m good at reading people.”

 You avoided his gaze then. “Well, that must be useful.”

 “Sometimes.”A pause. “What do you want to know?”

 At that invitation, all the questions began fighting with each other in your head, all eager to be voiced and answered. But you settled on the most troubling ones.

 “Do you know Kim Seokjin, by any chance?” You looked to him to see his reaction once hearing the name.

 Something flashed behind Yoongi’s eyes, before a stoic mask covered his emotions once more. “I’ve heard of him. But I don’t know him personally.”

 You weren’t really satisfied with that answer, as something in your gut was telling you that there was definitely something he wasn’t telling you.

 “Really? It seems that he knows you.”

 Yoongi raised his eyebrow at that. “Has he said anything?”

 “Just that I should stay away from you.”

 You heard him bark out laughter at that, looking like it was the best joke he’s heard in a while. “Interesting. Well, he’s not wrong.”

 Your heart rate picked up at that. “Why?”

 Yoongi smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Because I’m not a good person, beautiful.”

 “What do you mean?”

 “Perhaps you should ask him that yourself.” Yoongi said, looking way too relaxed in comparison to how wound up you were feeling.

 What the hell was going on? All this was doing was creating more complicated questions for you.

 “I would, but he won’t talk to me.” you frowned. “Can’t you tell me anything?”

 Yoongi sighed at that, looking somber. “It’s not my story to tell, sweets. If you want to know it, you have to hear it from him.”

 “But there’s always more than one side to a story.” you argued.

 “That’s true.” Yoongi agreed, before fixing his gaze on you--a gaze which you returned--and contemplating something for a moment. “Tell you what, if you get him to spill our history to you, and then don’t hate me after - come find me and I’ll tell you my half.”

 You mulled over his words, considering your options. So they did know each other. Something pretty bad must have happened for them to not be on speaking terms, and for Jin to avoid talking about him like that.

 You were aching to know what it was.

 Then, you felt Yoongi’s hand cover yours and blinked as his face itched closer to yours.

 “You know, when you offered to get more comfortable with each other, this wasn’t what I had in mind.” Yoongi commented lightly, tone full of humour, making you break into a smile, despite the bits of information you got just now. There was something so disarming about Yoongi, that it was almost scary.

 “Not what I had in mind either.” you admitted, mind still caught up in your conversation.

 Yoongi’s face was so close to you now, his breath hot against your swollen lips. “What did you have in mind?”

 “Something similar to what you did, I presume.”

 He smiled, eyes twinkling. “What are we going to do?”

 Your head was swimming, and in your recklessness, you leaned in closer until you felt your lips touch. “Let’s continue.”

 He hummed appreciatively, curling his hand into your hair and pulling you closer.

 You knew it made no sense, you knew this was a bad idea. You knew, you knew, you knew. Something deep inside you knew.

 But when Yoongi looked at you like that you felt weak.

 And you knew you were a weak, weak woman for Yoongi.

 -

 The next morning you were woken up by someone loudly, and, to be honest, quite rudely assaulting your doorbell.

 You looked over to the side of your bed to find it empty - just like last time, and something heavy sank in your stomach. Yoongi was gone just as quickly as he appeared. Almost as if he were some sort of ghost - an enigma. It made it seem as if last night didn’t happen, as if it was all a dream.

 But the marks on your thighs, and neck, though you couldn’t really see them but with just one simple touch could tell were there, told you otherwise.

 You scrambled to get untangled from your sheets as your doorbell continued to shrilling in your ears. Whoever it was really needed to get your attention.

 After pulling on a loose shirt you found lying around your floor, you finally got close enough to the door to yell who it was through it as you looked through the peephole.

 “It’s Jimin, you fuck. Open up!”

 Suddenly your stomach felt even heavier than when you noticed that the spot next to you in bed was empty.

 Jimin. You had left him alone last night after both of you had agreed to spend the night getting drunk together. Shit. You really were a horrible friend.

 You opened the door to find his face staring at you in disbelief and anger.

 “Jimin, I-”

 “I don’t want to hear it.” he said, sounding calm--too calm--despite the silent rage behind his eyes, as he raised his hand to stop you from talking. “I already know what happened and I don’t need to hear your excuses.”

 You clamped your mouth shut, guilt choking you from where it pooled in your chest.

 “What I want to know is, why the fuck did it have to be Yoongi?” Jimin asked, looking more offended over that then the fact that you ditched him.

 “You know him too?” you asked, exasperated.

 Jimin scoffed at that. “Uh, yeah. Everyone knows him. He’s the one that caused all that havoc two years ago.”

 Something clicked in your brain just then and your mouth went dry. “Havoc? You mean he was the one that-”

 “Yeah, he’s the one that set fire to Jin’s parents house.”

 -

 It was all so simple.

 How could you have forgotten? It’s not like you didn’t know about the incident. It had been before you knew Jin personally, so all the information you had on it was from what you read about in the newspapers and saw journalists talk about on the news.

 It had been a huge tragedy. Not only because the whole building burned down, but because Jin’s sister was still inside and was engulfed by the flames. By the time the firemen were able to put out the fire, all they found were the charcoal remains. The event had people terrified for months.

 Your hands shook as they cradled the coffee cup for some kind of support. You couldn’t bring your eyes to look up.

 Jimin sat next to you, shielding you from leaving the booth and Jin sat across from you, looking like he really didn’t want to be there.

 “Well, this is certainly a predicament.” Jin said finally with a sigh as he stared at you from across the table.

 You nodded, replaying your last conversation with him, letting the shame wash over you at how you treated him.

 Jimin nudged you out of your thoughts before motioning to Jin with his eyes and you cleared your throat.

 “I’m sorry, Jin. For the things I said last time. You didn’t deserve them.”

 Jin nodded, eyes looking hollow, but didn’t say anything in return.

 You swallowed a lump in your throat and licked your chapped lips. Where do you start? You supposed from simple questions.

 “Can I ask about it?” you asked tentatively.

 You looked at Jin’s hands playing with the pack of sugar as heard him sigh deeply. “What do you want to know?”

 “How did you know it was Yoongi?”

 “He was dating my sister at the time, and they were supposed to spend the weekend together when my parents were away on business and I was studying abroad.”Jin answered solemnly.

 “What happened?”

 “I wish I knew. All we have is his side of the story, because it was only him and Sooyoon that were there.”

 You clenched your jaw absentmindedly and thought for a moment. “Did he go to jail?”

 “Wasn’t enough evidence to convict him, since everything was burned in the fire.” Jin said bitterly before adding, “Besides, his father has connections to the criminal world, so it wouldn’t have mattered. My parents took him to court but he ended up walking free.”

 You felt a cold hand grasp your heart and as you tried to hold back the burning in your eyes. “Why did he do it?”

 “He said it was an accident, that he wanted to be romantic and lit up a bunch of candles…” Jin said, voice trailing off, before it came back full of resent. “But the firemen found traces of gasoline on the furniture and ashen floor.”

 “I can’t believe it… Why did he-” you started choking on your words, the burning growing stronger in your eyes.

 Jin looked at you, eyes softer now, more vulnerable. “My family is rich, my guess is that he wanted to gain access to our home so he could steal valuable antiques to sell on the black market through his father.”

 “Then your sister caught him in the act?”

 Jin did a sharp intake of breath, looking at the small pack of sugar between his fingers, the corners of the packet bent from his nerves. “Perhaps. Like I said, there’s a lot of unanswered questions in this. Things I wish to know myself.”

 You furrowed your eyebrows as you set your coffee, now too cold to drink, aside and grasped Jin’s hands in your own. “I will find out.”

 Jin’s eyes jumped up at that, staring at you incredulously. “What?”

 “I’ll find out what happened.” you repeated, “I’ll ask Yoongi about it.”

 Both Jin and Jimin made sounds of disapproval. “Are you serious?”

 “Didn’t you just hear what Jin just told you?” Jimin asked, but you held firm.

“Yeah, I did. And I know that there’s more to this story than what we know. And I’m going to find out the missing pieces from Yoongi.”

 “But you just found out that Yoongi has connections to the criminal world, doesn’t that scare you?” Jimin pressed.

 You shrugged.

 “You’re crazy.” Jimin mumbled into his facepalm.

 “You’re really not scared?” Jin asked you, his hands still in yours.

 You shook your head.

 Jin stared at you, in both shock and amazement. “You are crazy.” you felt him give your hands a squeeze.

 You stared back at him and hoped your gaze communicated just how determined you were.

 “Maybe, but I also know how much this means to you.”

 “You’re already steering closer to trouble just from taking home with you, twice.” Jin reminded.

 “That was my decision. That was me being greedy. This is me fixing it.”

 Jimin groaned beside you and said, “Jin, please tell her she’s way in over her head.”

 “You’re way in over your head.” Jin said, but there was a smile on his face, a smile that you returned.

 Jimin looked between the two of you and threw his hands up in the air. “I give up! If you want to rush head first into mobsters and gangsters and die early, be my guest.” he sighed dramatically before getting up from his seat, “I’m done, you hear me? Done!”

 “Where are you going?” Jin asked as the blonde made his way to the back of the diner.

 “Bathroom! You guys better come to your senses by the time I’m back!”

 Both you and Jin snickered. All three of you knew fully well that wasn’t going to happen.

[a-second-hand-sorrow]

You Listened (Colin Ritman X Reader)

WC: 1017

Warnings: Language, alcohol consumption, smoking, drug mentions, some sexual references, Colin might be a bit OOC idk, its Soft

Summary: Y/N has had a long day and just wants to cuddle up with her boyfriend.

A/N: First Bandersnatch fic yay! Wasn’t requested but I love Colin so lol here we are. Hope you guys enjoy!

Y/N sighed as she walked into Colin’s flat. The flat was practically her home however she was yet to officially move in with her boyfriend. “You in, Colin?” Y/N called, dropping her bag on the floor as she made her way into the kitchen, pulling a bottle of wine out from the fridge. 

“In the bedroom!” Y/N smiled, feeling herself relax at the sound of Colin’s voice. Her day had been nothing short of awful and she just wanted to come home and smoke, drink and curl up with her boyfriend. 

She opened the bottle, not bothering to pick up glasses as she walked into Colin’s bedroom. “Bad day?” Colin asked, gesturing to the bottle of wine and Y/N nodded, passing Colin the bottle as she stripped off her clothes, climbing into bed next to him. 

“You have no idea, Ritman.” Y/N said, taking the lit cigarette out of Colin’s mouth and taking a drag. Although Colin mocked offence at the gesture, he felt an odd sense of domesticity come from it. He couldn’t help but smile as Y/N let out a content sigh, leaning back against the pillows with her eyes closed. 

“That bad?” He asked, raising his eyebrows as Y/N nodded, the cigarette hanging from her lips before she took it into her hands, passing it back to Colin. 

“It was atrocious. I spent nearly three hours ironing out about eight billion kinks in this accounting software that looked like it had been programmed by five-year-olds, my lunch break ended up being halved because I had to train some dunce of a new employee and to top it off I stopped by Tuckersoft to fine tune the computers and you weren’t around.” Y/N ranted, lightly poking Colin’s chest as she concluded. 

A chuckle spilled past Colin’s lips as he took another drag of the cigarette, wrapping an arm around Y/N’s shoulders. She rested her head against his shoulder, lightly kissing some of the fading hickeys that decorated his skin, along with some fresher ones from this morning.  

“Sorry about that. We had some kid come in with a game demo and I had to be there for the meeting. Thakur’s orders.” He said, and Y/N huffed, reaching across his body for the bottle of wine. 

“Fuck Thakur. You know what, fuck everyone.” Y/N said after a hearty drink from the bottle, wiping her mouth as she offered it to Colin who politely declined. 

“I think I’d rather you only fucked me, love.” Colin said, causing Y/N to chuckle and kiss his cheek softly. 

“Love? You’ve gone soft, Colin Ritman.” Y/N said playfully, running a hand through his bleached blonde hair. Colin shook his head, a smile tugging at his lips as Y/N’s fingers gently pulled on his hair. 

“I don’t see the problem if it’s you I’ve gone soft for.” Colin said quietly, and Y/N took in a deep breath, her hands dropping down to cradle his face.  

“Can I be super gross and sappy for a sec? I think I’m getting wine tipsy and you’re very cute, so can you blame me?” Y/N said, staring at Colin’s face, watching his ice blue eyes seemingly burn into her soul as he nodded. 

“Go ahead.” Colin said, putting his cigarette out in the glass ash tray he kept by the bed before tucking his hands behind his head, leaning against them. Y/N smiled, pecking his lips before moving over so she was straddling him, her hands resting against his bare chest. 

“I’m so glad you’re in my life, Colin. I know there’s like a trillion different ways my life could’ve played out depending on choices made for me, parallel realities and such, but I’m glad the choices in this one led me to you.” Y/N said, and Colin looked at her with a mix of love and awe. 

“I’m starting to think it’s you whose gone soft, Y/L/N.” Colin said, still revelling in the fact that Y/N had not only listened to some of his drug fuelled rants about the true nature of free will and multiple realities but had absorbed the information as well. 

“Shut up, Colin.” Y/N said, pushing his glasses slowly up the bridge of his nose. She sighed and rolled off him, adjusting the pillows so she was lying down, looking up at him. 

“I can’t believe you listened.” Colin muttered, glancing down at Y/N who was tracing patterns on the skin of his stomach. 

“To what?” Y/N said, despite knowing exactly what Colin was referring to. Colin wasn’t a very affectionate man but he had his moments, and Y/N wanted to make the most of this one. 

“My rants, my theories, the stuff I spout when I’m tripping balls.” Colin said, closing his eyes in content as Y/N continued to trace shapes and patterns absentmindedly, her touch causing goose bumps to appear on his body. 

“I love seeing you so passionate. You know what you’re talking about and I think you’re a hundred per cent correct. Besides, you’re hot when you rant. Now, I am exhausted and could do with some sleep. I know you stay up late reading or doing whatever, so I don’t mind if you leave the light on.” Y/N said, leaning up and giving Colin a quick kiss before she settled back down. 

“Y/N?” Colin said, causing her to let out a hum as she looked up, taking note of the softness of his gaze. 

“Yeah, Colin?” Y/N said, and Colin took in a shaky breath, causing Y/N to furrow her eyebrows slightly before Colin began to speak. 

“I love you. I know I’ve never said it before, and I’m not one for verbal affection but I do. I really do.” Colin said, taking his glasses off and putting them on the bedside table. 

“Then it’s a good thing I love you too, you silly bastard.” Y/N mumbled, burying her head into Colin’s chest as she closed her eyes, focusing on the steady beat of his heart. 

“Goodnight Y/N.” Colin whispered, wrapping his arm around her shoulders as she relaxed into the embrace. 

“Goodnight Colin. Love you.” 

[kyouryokusenshi]

I’m enjoying your fan Fics, all of them!!! Can you please be so kind and write prompt 3 in the @xfpornbattle please

Thanks so much, anon! I actually was writing for prompt #50 when I saw this so I hope you enjoy it. It can fulfill #3 as well :)

Title: Baby Makes Four

Rating: NSFW

Author: KS

Summary:  Prompt fill for #50 from @xfpornbattle on Tumblr. After Scully announces her pregnancy in MSIV, she and Mulder go back to the unremarkable house and passionately make love. Mulder can’t believe that Scully’s pregnant. He keeps kissing and rubbing her stomach. They are both very emotional.

A/N: There will be some angst/fluff as I get to the smut. :) Many thanks to @monikafilefan for the beta!!!

Tagging a few other folks that might like this: @frangipanidownunder  @marinafrenzy @baronessblixen @gaycrouton @danceswithcybermen @babygirlmulder1018 @scully-eats-sushi

“What am I if not a Father?”

Scully watched as Mulder seemed to be spiraling, undoubtedly to a place from which there would be no return. She couldn’t lose him again. Not now.

“You are a Father,” Scully says, her voice breaking.

“What are you talking about?”

Scully reached for Mulder’s hand and settled it on her abdomen, drawing warmth to his frigid fingers. He looked back at her, gripped with shock and spread his fingers over the now discernable bump beneath her clothing as he was riddled with emotion. He was overcome with grief, despair and…joy at the same time.

Scully watched him carefully as if gauging his reaction. The veil of darkness that had settled over him had suddenly been lifted as he looked back at her with awe and wonder. Although the timing couldn’t have been worse, a smile tugged at her lips for just a moment before the weight of everything that had just happened settled in.

She had just lost William who was apparently the result of an experiment and not a product of love, her worst fear. He had told her only minutes ago he knew she loved him, only to have been shot by the smoking sonofabitch moments beforehand. And against all odds and possibilities, she was pregnant at fifty-four years old.

She released a teary laugh at the absurdity of it all before turning away.

“That’s impossible,” Mulder said, watching as Scully looked away. There were tears in her eyes and a hitch in her voice as she looked back at him, overwhelmed by it all.

“I…I know…I know it is,” she said, her voice breaking as she struggled to find words.

Scully released their hands as Mulder pulled her into his chest and held her close as she began to cry, the day’s events finally taking a toll on her emotional well being. She wrapped her free arm around him as he rested his chin above her head and gently rocked her back and forth.

She closed her eyes and released her anguish and grief, everything that she’d held inside and bottled up for the past decade finally came pouring out. She had wanted to be strong for Mulder, to absolve him of his grief, to make him understand that they were not meant to raise William even if it came out entirely wrong.

Mulder looked out into the dark waters as Scully released heart-wrenching sobs against his chest. He sucked in the cold air as he moved his arms around her small form, rubbing warmth into her arms and back before settling around her, pulling her closer.

He heard the clang of her flashlight drop against the wood of the dock and felt her wrap her arms tightly around his torso. They stood that way for several minutes, yet with the icy temperature, it felt like an eternity.

Once Scully had quieted, he pulled back, breaking their embrace and causing her to look up at him.

Her eyes were red and he saw the dried tear stains against her pale complexion. Before she could turn away, Mulder moved to cup her face in his hands. Her skin was ice cold and it was only then that he realized she was shaking.

“Scully, you’re freezing, let’s get out of here.”

She opened her mouth to object, but before she could muster the words, Mulder had slipped out of his jacket and draped it around her shoulders. His only thoughts now were of her and the baby she was carrying.

“Mulder,” she started to protest at the sight of him in nothing but a long sleeve sweatshirt.

“Don’t worry about me, Scully…I’ll live,” he said with the smallest hint of a smile.

—-

When they returned to the alley, they immediately called 911. When local law enforcement along with EMT arrived on the scene, both Skinner and Reyes had been airlifted at Scully’s demand to Our Lady of Sorrows hospital.

The river would also be drained and evacuated in search of the two bodies. Kersh wouldn’t be happy and the X-Files might likely be closed for good this time, but that was the least of their concerns at the moment.

Mulder was torn between staying while they swept the water and going home. Ultimately there wasn’t much else they could do and right now his only concern was for Scully.

They both remained quiet for the majority of the drive and occasionally Mulder reached for Scully’s hand across the console, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze while the other rested protectively on her belly. He would look over now and then, smiling to himself as he watched Scully gaze out into the darkness while her fingers gently caressed the tiny life inside as if to reassure him or her that everything would be okay.

A few hours and a stop for food and a bathroom break later, Mulder pulled up to their home. As he cut the engine, he turned to look over at Scully. Her hand never moved from its place on her abdomen and her head rested against the window as she slept. He was torn and didn’t want to wake her, but at the same time, he wanted to get her inside and get her some food and proper rest.

As he looked down at her abdomen, he couldn’t understand how he didn’t notice the changes in her body before. The tiny bump was small, but distinguishable beneath her clothing if you knew what to look for.

Mulder quietly reached over with his left hand, settling next to where hers laid protectively on her waist. The movement caused her to stir and she startled slightly before remembering it was Mulder next to her. She moved her hand so it covered his own, allowing him to enjoy the life that rested within.

They sat like that for a moment before he pulled away as he realized that he would be there this time, for everything. Everything that he didn’t get to have with William. He’d be able to take care of her, fetch her whatever she craved, make sure she got enough rest, decorate the nursery and help her as she delivered their child into the world.

They slowly made their way inside the house, Scully forgetting she was still wearing Mulder’s coat when he gently removed it for her.

She watched him examine it and it was only then that she noticed the blood spatter on it. “And this was my favorite jacket,” he lamented with a smile. “Think I can bleach it out?”

To his surprise, Scully smiled at his lame attempt at humor. Once he removed her coat as well he ushered her into the living area. “You should eat, Scully,” he insisted.

She started to shake her head until she realized that it had been over twelve hours since she’d eaten anything. “Something light…I haven’t really been able to keep much down,” she said as she placed her hand on her belly.

Mulder nodded. “I’m pretty sure I have some ginger ale in the cabinet and some saltines laying around somewhere. I can put together some soup.”

Her heart swelled as Mulder went out of his way to make sure she and the baby were cared for. “Thank you,” she said in earnest as she touched his shoulder. “I’m going to run a quick bath first.”

As Mulder got to work on putting together their meal, Scully retrieved her bubble bath and watched as the tub filled up. As she undressed, she looked down at her abdomen, not understanding how she didn’t realize it before. The small bump was making its presence known and she gently ran her hand over it. If her medical estimation was correct, she was about ten weeks.

Since the night at the motel, they had only been intimate within the week. That night had been entirely unexpected and they hadn’t been intimate again until after the church confessional. And there were now trips that involved memory gaps to make her suspicious.

Scully turned towards the mirror and suddenly a searing pain sliced across her temple.

William was climbing out of the icy waters before the scene cut to a delivery room. In the delivery room, she could hear a baby’s cry before it was settled onto her chest. Then suddenly William was in the room with them, holding the baby. The baby was…a girl?

The images ceased and Scully was bracing her arm against the sink, gasping for breath. She could hear Mulder racing up the stairs and the door flew open, startling her.

“Scully, is everything alright? I just heated up the soup when I heard you cry out.” It took him a moment before he realized he was basking in her naked glory.

Scully took a deep breath. “Mulder…”

Before she could get the words out, he was reaching past her to turn off the bathtub faucet as the water was dangerously close to overflowing.

She watched as he stepped back and she reached for her robe that was folded on the top of the toilet lid. As she put it on, she continued. “I…I had a vision, Mulder.”

Mulder’s eyes went wide at her insinuation. He was almost afraid to hope.

“It was William,” she whispered, staring into his hazel depths. “I don’t know how, but he’s alive.”

“Scully, are you sure? I saw the smoking bastard shoot him with my own eyes.”

“But we also know what he’s capable of. Mulder…he wanted us to let him. But he took that bullet for you, and I think I understand why.”

Mulder’s brows knitted together in confusion. “What do you mean, Scully?” He was trying his best to keep his gaze eye level, but it was proving to be difficult.

“Mulder, when I heard the shots fired from Skinner’s gun, I was going to go to him, but William stopped me.”

Now he was somewhat less distracted as she continued. “He said he knew I loved him, but that we cannot protect him.”

Mulder sighed as he took this in. He shook away the unpleasant memories of his son murdering several conspirators. “William…he’s the one who’s sending you these visions, right?”

Scully nodded. “He knew what was going to happen out there…all of it, which was why he protected me. Mulder, earlier when I suspected I was pregnant I had a vision of an ultrasound and of myself giving birth, but it wasn’t a vision of William. He sent me that vision…he..he knows about the baby. That’s why he did what he did for us.”

Mulder sighed as he took this all in. “But you said he wasn’t ours.”

Scully took Mulder’s hands in her own. “Mulder as much as I wanted to be his mother…as much as we’ve craved to have him with us all these years, the fact is he had two parents who raised him for over sixteen years. He’s ours…I did numerous tests when I was pregnant because I had to be sure…but at the same time, he isn’t ours.”

Mulder frowned. “What do you mean, Scully?” He asked, growing confused and agitated.

She took his hand and settled it on her belly once again. “It’s going to be different this time, Mulder. And soon we will see William again. This is not goodbye. He wanted me to know he was okay.”

Mulder sucked in a breath. “What did you see exactly?”

“I saw William running and then…” her voice started breaking as she met Mulder’s gaze.

He moved to take her hands in his, lending her his strength.

Scully took a deep breath to keep the tears at bay. “I…I saw him in my hospital room, with our baby.”

Mulder opened his mouth to speak as he processed this, but she continued. “He was holding her.”

Mulder swallowed the sudden lump in his throat. “The baby…it’s a girl?” He gushed, elated.

Scully smiled, Mulder’s happiness was infectious. “I’m almost certain,” she said, closing her eyes, willing the images to replay. “I couldn’t tell entirely in the vision nor in the first vision with the ultrasound, but I just know. I can’t explain it.”

Mulder nodded, drawing his hand away momentary to wipe at his leaking eyes.

Scully sighed, looking away as her lips trembled. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you under better circumstances. That’s not how I wanted you to know, but I couldn’t stand seeing you so defeated and broken. Especially when it’s the truth…that you are a Father, Mulder.”

Mulder nodded. “I know, Scully. You don’t have to explain…after everything we’ve been through…”

Scully studied him for a moment before she decided to release another weight on her mind. “But you’re sure you’re okay with this? About the baby?”

Mulder shook his head, baffled. “Scully, of course, I’m happy. This is what we’ve wanted, what we didn’t get with William because we had to give him up to protect him…” He paused. “But what about you? I know you said you wanted another child, are you having second thoughts?”

“I was terrified of the implications when I suspected, of the why’s and how’s, of pregnancy at my age…when I saw the positive pregnancy tests looking back at me. I didn’t believe it until I had the vision and in that vision, I saw you get shot by your father. I knew from that moment that no matter how afraid I was…I already loved and wanted this baby so much that I couldn’t lose you again.”

Scully sniffed and Mulder pulled her into his arms. They stood them for several moments. “I’m really going to be a Father,” Mulder gasped.

Scully laughed against him and he pulled away only to drop onto his knees. She dropped her hands to her sides as he urged her robe open and covered her abdomen with his hands. He ran his hands over delicate skin, completely in awe of the small bump under his palms.

Scully’s heart swelled as Mulder placed a gentle kiss to where their baby rested. “Hey there, baby girl, I love you so much already. You better grow big and strong in there because your mom and I can’t wait to meet you.”

As Mulder pressed his cheek against the curve of Scully’s slightly protruding waistline, he felt Scully’s hand run through his air. “We’re going to have another baby, Scully. I can’t believe it.”

Scully nodded as tears welled in her eyes. “I know.” Mulder stood up and she took his hands in hers, resting them one again on her abdomen.

A moment later, Mulder reached to cup her face in his hands, tilting her head upwards. She smiled as he slowly leaned down to kiss her softly on the lips. Scully demanded more by reaching up to his shoulders to pull him closer, pressing her lips harder against his as her tongue urged his mouth for more.

Mulder responded in earnest, moving his hands to pull her robe back from her shoulders, allowing it to slip to the ground as the bath water grew cold.

Scully pulled back only momentarily and gave him a skeptical brow. “Hey…that’s not fair. You still have all your clothes on.”

“I guess we should fix that then, huh?” Mulder hummed as he moved to strip from his long sleeved sweater and undershirt.

Scully was hastily working at the button of his jeans as they tumbled backward into the bedroom, watching as he strained against his jeans.

Once his jeans were out of the way, Scully admired how hard he was already through his briefs. Mulder fell back onto the bed as Scully’s fingertips were on his underwear, urging them off.

Scully admired his chiseled abs and biceps as he stood at attention for her. It was difficult at times being able to keep her hands off of him while they worked.

Once she pulled off his briefs, Mulder moved to the center of the bed as Scully followed, fully exposed on her knees, crawling to her prey like a hungry lioness.

As she moved to straddle him, Mulder looked her up and down, admiring her sleek and toned physique with the exception of the small baby bump making its presence known on her lower abdomen. He took note of her darkened areolas hardening at the sight of him.

Seeing her carrying his child inside of her released something primal and virile inside of him. God, she had no idea the power and control she had over him.

As Scully leaned down to kiss him, his hands felt for her breasts, causing her to release his lips as she let out a gasp. She was startled by the sensitivity that was a common side effect of the pregnancy.

“Scully?” Mulder asked suddenly, worried she was in pain.

Scully shook her head. “It’s nothing…I just, I forgot how sensitive things can get during pregnancy.”

Mulder didn’t look convinced. “Are you sure this is okay…it won’t…hurt the baby?”

Scully laughed softly at the innocent question. “No, Mulder sex is perfectly natural and normal during pregnancy. Right now I don’t have any reason to believe anything is wrong.”

“Okay, we’ll just take it slow.”

“Oh Mulder, you ruin all the fun.” she teased.

She rocked back and forth above him, locking her gaze with his, teasing his length as his fingers did their magic with her nipples.

Mulder moaned, feeling himself harden beneath her. His hands began to track their way south, his hands stopping to rest on the bump that was their child before slowly moving further south and inside Scully’s warmth.

Scully bucked, tossing her head back as Mulder’s fingers continued their magic inside of her, making a come hither motion inside of her until she came. Mulder watched her as he pulled his fingers back and slowly dipped them into his mouth, savoring the taste of her.

She was saltier than he recalled her being. He must have made a face as she was watching him curiously. “You okay, Mulder?”

“You taste different,” he pondered. “Salty, but that’s not a bad thing,” he assured.

“pH often changes during pregnancy, just another one of those wonderful pregnancy side effects,” she explained.

“Ah.”

To his surprise, he watched her as a hand reached down into her center before bringing it back to her lips. He wasn’t sure how much more of this he could take.

She looked thoughtful for a moment. “You’re right…now where were we,” she said gazing down at his cock.

“God, Scully…don’t do this to me.”

To his relief, she moved forward, bracing her legs on either side of him as she settled onto his length, relishing the feeling of having him inside of her. She needed to feel intimate with him after everything that happened in the past fifteen hours.

As Mulder watched her, she knew they were on the same wavelength. She knew he too needed to forget the days’ events with the exception of the knowledge of the miracle between them.

Scully started to rock back and forth as Mulder thrust inside of her as he watched her for any sign of distress or discomfort. He couldn’t stop his hand from touching her belly as he continued to thrust, recalling the cherished memory of the night this child had been conceived. Scully placed her hand over his as they picked up the pace, no doubt thinking back to that night in the hotel that resulted in this miracle.

It was almost ironic, their talk about having more children. That desire somehow bringing this child into existence. It really was a miracle. God how he loved her, his constant and touchtone. His partner and the Mother of his children.

“Oh Jesus…Christ, Scully,” he rasped. His hips raised off the bed to meet her thrust for thrust. Scully gave a guttural moan as she grasped the sheets beneath them, bunching them into her fists as the friction of their bodies gyrating together made wet slapping sounds.

Mulder braced his hands on her hips as she moved against him.

“Fuck me!” Scully yelled unceremoniously as she continued to ride him.

“Happy to oblige,” he said breathlessly as he pumped harder.

Scully’s eyes closed, throwing her head back on the height of ecstasy. “Oh fuck, Mulder, yes…YES!”

As Mulder started to slow, he felt her as she came around him. Feeling the tightening of his balls, he stiffened as he spilled his seed inside of her.

Scully leaned forward one final time and rested her forehead against his as they breathed heavily before pulling away and settling next to him.

Mulder smiled. “I forgot how hot it was having sex with a pregnant woman.”

“Well, as I recall, we’ve had multiple encounters since your Spooky sperm knocked me up.”

Mulder closed his eyes as he wrapped his right arm around her while the other pulled the covers over them. “Mmmm, well, we’ve certainly still got it, Scully. I told you’ve still got some scoot in your boot.”

Scully pulled away as she regarded him skeptically. “I swear to God, Mulder if I hear that one more time…” She couldn’t help it as a smile tugged at her lips as she lowered herself back down next to him. “But I must admit Mulder, you’ve still got it going on yourself.”

“Glad to hear it. I knew you’d be unable to resist my charm.”

“Don’t think for a moment that I wasn’t privy to your ulterior motives when you so eagerly accepted that motel room,” she breathed along his chest.

“Well, to be fair, I really was desperate for some shut-eye, but now that you mention it–”

“Shut up and kiss me, Mulder,” she said as she pulled him towards her.

Mulder happily obliged and then pulled back suddenly as he heard the audible rumble of her stomach, bringing them both back to the present. “As much as I hate to break this up, Scully…I’m sure your bath is ice and our soups are cold. You need to eat–”

“Don’t you dare say for two,” Scully said before she kissed him again.

Mulder smirked and reached to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “Oh Scully, you know me so well. Now seriously, let’s eat.”

#fluff #smut #xfpornbattle2019 #thexfiles #pregnancysmut #msiv

[alitheamateur]

The Grind- Chapter 8

Warnings: Language. Fluff.

A/N: OHHHH, CHAPTER 8, HOW I LOVE YOU. This is one of my favorite chapters in the entire book, and I only hope you do enjoy it! It’s Colton and Liv, intimately behind closed doors, just how I like them. AND, DRUM ROLL.....You’ll even get a little insight into the mind of our boy Colton Ritter!!!

(GIFS FROM GOOGLE)

I hadn’t attempted to track Colton down once the weigh in concluded. He had hands to shake, and plenty of pictures to pose for. And as for me, there were a few colleagues I needed to speak with amongst the mass of people as well, before stealing away to him upstairs. Kate was on the list, a reporter for one of the local television news stations, who happened to live in the same apartment complex as I did. We weren’t tight pals by any means, but always spoke in passing every morning before work, and there was the occasional invitation to her flat for a drink to unwind. As a matter of fact, it seemed unwinding was precisely what Kate had in mind this particular evening, too. Her whining insistence on sharing a Cosmo in the lounge wouldn’t cease unless I caved. But, I was certain to make it a clear point that I only had time for ONE quick drink, and discreetly sent Colton a text to inform him I may be arriving a little behind schedule. 

As promised, Kate let me part after a single drink order and some simple small talk over some perfectly salted mixed nuts. We exchanged predictions on how we thought tomorrow night would go and where she had bought the camel colored satchel bag she was displaying in the seat next to her. Then, out of the sheer goodness of my heart, I even sat quietly listening to the horror story of her latest blind date mishap. Bless that poor girl, she really was a catch. Confident, very intelligent, lightyears ahead of other anchors in the city her age. To most men though, her every quality was one that intimidated their sensitive ego, making it a struggle to find a match who would encourage her success, rather than smother it.

I left her alone in the bar with her sorrows, honestly feeling a bit bad for abandoning her to drown them, then aimlessly wandered to find the elevator. Thankfully, I reach Colton’s floor without any company in the confines of the metal box. Creepy, awkward elevator conversation was #4 on the list of things I hated as much as cherry licorice.  I walked down the lengthy hallway lined with plum and green patterned carpet, then patted two light knocks on room 1893, and waited zealously. My toes patted in anticipation, and my lips buzzed a bit from the leftover coating of my stout Cosmopolitan.  The door opened surprisingly quick after my tapping by a handsome fellow adorning a pair of light grey boxer shorts.

“Damn, I was really hopin’ you were that pizza I ordered from downstairs.”

I kicked the door open further sending him back to hit the papered wall to the left, and he snuffled from a closed mouth grin.

“Sorry to disappoint,” I snarled. “And come on now, Ritter. You can’t be opening your door looking like that. You’ll have the maids brawling for who gets to bring up your extra towels.” I gestured a hand toward him, alluding to his quite painfully sexy, underwear model-esque appearance.

The tv was muted on ESPN, only a gold desk lamp casting light into the rather large room. A king size bed stationed closest to the wall with the double windows, covers unturned, and curtains drawn. Faint music danced over my ears, something from the classic rock genre. Journey, maybe? Our taste in music had thankfully been another similarity discovered sometime in the days of our courtship. I bent over removing one shoe at a time, to hurl them in the corner. I so loved my beautiful collection of pumps, but my feet could only take small doses. My ankles begged for my past preference of high-top tennis to return.

“So, I thought we’d just hang out in bed. Watch a movie or somethin’? I kinda just wanna relax. Unless you wanna go out? I can get dressed.” His words offered to go out, but his crooked eyebrow & pursed lips said otherwise.

“Staying in is perfect, babe. As long as you promise to share that pizza you’ve got comin’. Black olives?”

“Yep. Jalapeños only on my half.” It was miracle. I had found a man who compromised on the most important thing in my life. Food.

“You know the way to my heart, Colt.” I smoothed tiny circles with my flattened hand over the comforter of the bed, enticing him to join me. Rather than lightly crawling up next to me, he lunged wildly to flop weightlessly in the empty spot.

“I brought ya’ a t-shirt if you wanna change. It’s in my bag by the bathroom, I think. Figured you’d be wearin’ one of those sexy lil’ business suits you’re always prancin’ around in t’ torture me.” He reiterated his remark by grazing the small line of my exposed stomach. “I didn’t want cha’ to be uncomfortable all night.”

“All night? Is that an invitation? Whatever on earth would make you think I’d want to spend the night in this gorgeous hotel room with you, Colton?” I threw a hand to my chest and closed my eyes in a prudish manner.

“ ‘Cause you, Liv Caroline Elliot, just cannot resist me.”

Although he was right, I wasn’t about to give in defeatedly and just admit guilt. He always gave an effort to come off so self-confident, and poised even, like he himself was the holy grail to mankind. Somewhat similar to how Mendez carried himself. But, I was well aware it was all an exterior front for the twisted, emotional mess he was inside. He was like one of those candies with the crunchy, seemingly unbreakable shell that had smooth filling in the middle. By this point I had pretty well pulverized that outer layer, and it really wasn’t as difficult as imagined.

“You’re just so sure about that, aren’t ya’? But I think I could say the same when it comes to you, my overly confident friend.” One finger prodded his flexed peck.

“I think we both know I can’t resist ya’, two-one. And I ain’t a bit scared to say so.” I had sat up ready to climb from the bed and retrieve the t-shirt he mentioned, but was immediately yanked in a near whiplash motion down on top of him. He gave me a look that I wished I could bottle up and carry in my purse every day. It was a look of total admiration, torturous passion, and loving fulfilment. There were no smiles, or laughing from either of us. The room was simply clouded with a haze of love so thick it was nearly visible to the human eye. I grazed my nose to his, not daring to disrupt the conversation our eyes were exchanging, and kissed him with opened lids. It was returned, with his addition of a spirited squeeze to my tail. One thing I had noted about Colton, was he could draw me into the deepest depths of a moment, hold it for delayed second or two, then undoubtedly jerk away from the overwhelming rush of emotion like he had been stung by an angry bee. But I’d wait for him to open the heavy iron gate to that conversation regarding his slightly detached demeanor.

“I love you, Colt.”

“And I love you, gorgeous. Now, go’n get changed. Imma pick a movie for us.”

The path of my outfit left behind me was enough payback for the little winking stunt he pulled earlier at the weigh in.

By the time I appeared from the bathroom, the pizza had been delivered, the covers turned back, a 6-pack on the night stand, and an unbelievably attractive man awaiting me. My makeup washed off and hair knotted into a messy bun, I was pant-less wearing a baggy soft t-shirt that smelled of Colton’s bodywash, and ready to sink into bed with him. I didn’t want tomorrow to come because I was certain there was no way it could measure up to this.  

“Okay, so we got The Purge, or one of my personal favorites, the classic Harold & Kumar go to White Castle. You pick.”

“Shouldn’t we watch something like Fight Club, or, I don’t know… Rocky instead? That seems more your style.” I suggested raising one knee on the bed to boost myself up into the chill of the sheets. I loved the way his tanned, furry legs looked bold against the bleached white of the bedsheets.

“Although Rocky does top my movie list any day of the week, I can watch things that don’t involve fist to face violence, you punk. I ain’t a total adrenaline whore. I’ll have you know that I even saw The Notebook. Twice.” He informed me very matter of factly.

“I’m gonna go out on a limb here & say that date ended very well for you.” My mouth mimicked the act of vomit thinking about the lines he cooed into the ears of that poor girl causing her to all but leap into bed with him.

“Is somebody jealous? C’mon now, babe. Past is the past.”

There had only been one suitor he had been semi-serious with previously. Her name was Amber, they dated for 6 months, and he caught her in the locker room at Mac’s in a quite compromising position with his Physical Therapist. That was really all the details he shared, & it was definitely all I needed to hear. However, I knew his lack of romantic relationships was plenty compensated by his plethora of casual sex partners. The fact that he was experienced was extremely clear to me after that night in the ring at the gym. He worked fervently taking metal notes of what dips in my skin he could kiss that caused a gentle hum of pleasure, and which ones caused an almost violent writhing. 14 partners in his twenty-six years, a number I was far from comfortable with, but it wasn’t about to send me running scared either.

“Your past just seems to be a lot more.. eventful than mine.”  I admitted placing the sweating beer bottle between my greasy lips, and dropped my head in sheepish discomfort.

“First of all, you know damn well that don’t mean shit to me. You gotta think more of me than that, Livvy. ‘N second, that’s just all the more fun I get to have bein’ your little teacher, huh?” Both brows raised and fell in unison at his perverse inuendo.

“Get over yourself, PUH-LEASE.”

By this very crude point in the conversation, he’d eaten his entire hearty side of the pizza in addition to two slices of my black olive half, and I was 3 beers deep. The chatting began rolling so immensely, the tv remained off, and instead we’d left his iPod to shuffle at random through his vast array of musical tastes. We prodded question upon question about the other, shoveling for every fiber of detail we could harvest.  I was stunned in utter disbelief that he had never even been out of the country, and he seemed nearly repulsed in the discovery that I still wasn’t a Steelers fan despite living in The Burgh for coming up on three years. At some point I can’t recall, he stepped from the bed to open the drawn curtains, exposing the twinkling illuminations of the still very lively city even at the hour approaching 1 a.m.

He observed the world below him like he had created this kingdom himself. Colton was Pittsburgh through and through down to the marrow, and I wouldn’t change it for all the money in the world. The grouping of blue moonlight and changing street lights coated him in a glow almost angelic. He was laid smooth on his back, a bended arm beneath is pillow, and I laid in sideways position with my head situated across the rippling muscles of his inked abdomen, his fingers twirled lazily around an escaped hair from my updo. With passing minutes his words slowly developed a raspy, almost thorny tenor and his answering and asking of questions now more dawdled. He was like a tenacious child battling the certain feeling of sleep that enraptured him, afraid he may miss a revelation of crucial importance if he dozed off.

“Baby, I know I haven’t told you, but I want ya’ to know your article is really, really excellent. And I’m damn proud a’ ya’.“

I was confused at the compliment since he hadn’t read as much as one sentence from my piece yet. “Colt, it’s not even done yet. And how would you know since you’ve yet to see it, ya’ goof.”

“It’s your work, Liv. You’re a natural, kinda like me with fighting, ya’ know? It’s what we do best. And besides, you’re always sayin’ how proud you are of me, so I want ya’ to know someone feels that way about you, too. You got no idea how amazing you really are, do ya’ girl?”

His compliments nearly made tears spill from my welling eyes. This simple, yet so utterly perplexing man loved me to his core. I could feel it in his words right that second, and in the way his scarred knuckles brushed my cheek sending a shockwave of serenity to my soul. I had never fallen so deeply for someone in such a way, much less in just a few months’ time, and I was honestly terrified at every feeling I harbored for him. I shifted to rest my palms on his chest making eye contact with his flecked eyes.

“Why are you always so good to me, huh? Better be careful, babe.. People may think you’re going soft.” I warned, raising my brows to appear concerned.

“Oh, but you’ll be able to assure them that Colton Ritter is far, farrrrr from soft, baby…” One swift, lascivious movement now rendered me pinned at my sides by both wrists under two strong, veined hands. Although the act seemed to be hinting toward a much more lustful direction, he simply touched his lips to the corner of my slightly gaped mouth with a single extended kiss, lilting a melodious “I love you.”

                                                        Colton

She dozed off an hour or so before I had. The barely noticeable, gentle buzzing of her snoring mouth gave her away. The cotton-like thickness of my dry tongue screamed for a drink shortly after, so I had to scoot her head from crease of my arm, careful not to pull on the hair fluffed on top of her head. She had wallowed trying to get comfortable, I’m sure the damn hardness of my bicep wasn’t the best replacement for a pillow, and tangled strands of her blonde hair were brushing over her lashes. I often wished maybe I could give the gym a little break, and soften up a bit. Just so she’d be able to sleep tucked into my chest at night without feeling like she’d get a black eye if I moved the wrong way.

My high-school wresting t-shirt she slept in climbed up her belly, exposing more of the clean shade of white boy-shorts she wore underneath, and a teasing curve of the underside of her breast. I had seen my fair share of naked women in life, more beyond Liv’s level of comfort. But her? Damn it… She wasn’t Playboy, plastic lipped, and chiseled from head to toe like most empty fuckers like me would look for. Liv’s beauty was more palatable, and desirable to the real man. Beauty that maybe most people would miss out on. But me? She entranced me the minute she stabbed me with those emerald green eyes.

Her buttery soft skin, her blonde hair usually wild like the winds of Chicago. Not the kitchen sink blonde like you’d see down at the infested strip clubs downtown either. No, this was the sunshine yellow she was born with. Sandy, smooth blonde intertwined with some strands of caramel like the inside of a chewy candy bar..

Her perfect, pink, creamy buds painted rosy circles on the inside of the thin cotton of her shirt, and I thought very much that she might’ve been the sexiest thing I had ever seen. The screaming hard on pinned under my boxers said so. And despite the trickle of drool out the side of her slumbering mouth, and the smearing black of yesterday’s makeup stained under her eyes, I couldn’t look away. As if I’d even want to. And hell, if I wasn’t in love with this Indiana girl in every sense of the word.

                                                         Liv

Despite my desperate prayers for time to halt for just one night, it insisted on passing into the morning. I had slid from the bed just before dawn to close the dark curtains of the room, wanting to make sure he got undisturbed, restful sleep for what this day was going to require from him. And selfishly, it as also an attempt to keep our room as black as the unexplored ocean, foolishly thinking maybe the rising sun would just pass us by if I didn’t allow its light in. We had eventually forced ourselves to sleep the night before, after several attempts to kiss goodnight. One kiss, lead to three more, which lead to fifteen more, each holding more and more desire to carry those kisses elsewhere over the span of the other persons body. But, painfully so, I squandered it insisting he better get some shut eye.

Now, the digital clock on the nightstand closest to his side of the bed flashed 5:49 a.m., and I expected his internal clock to start stirring him very soon. From the sliver of dawn intruding through the minimal crack of the patterned drapes, I watched him sleep. Admired would be a better word. His lids smoothly sealed, no crinkles of struggle about them, and his mouth gently puckered. I made mental note of his naturally suntanned, unscathed face in the state it was now, knowing full well tonight would render it not so.  There were no bruises, no splits in his lips, no blackened eyes. He was the nearest thing to physical perfection I had ever laid eyes on. I hoped he couldn’t sense my focused staring.

Suddenly, I felt a growing itch in my nose, a building sneeze approaching. Trying at all costs to avoid waking his lifeless form, I pinched my nostrils shut in effort to trap the noise from escaping. However, the harsh flinch my body released sent a jolt over the entire mattress. Colt inhaled a loud, groggy breath and stretched his hand to grasp for my side of the bed.

“Hey, you,” he said rubbing the rest from his waking eyes.

The hearty drift of his accent from the hours of 4 to 9 a.m. could very near send me straight into orgasm.

“Sorry, babe. I tried not to wake you.”

He rolled over to face me dragging his arm around my waist to pull me into his chest, I smiled and draped a bare leg over his warm body.

“I ain’t got no problem at all gettin’ woken up by the likes a’ you, baby.” He crowded me with a drowsy kiss, his tongue curling slightly under my top lip. I could feel him rattle with laughter at the sensual pant he sucked out of me.

“You’re not so bad yourself, sir. How’d you sleep?”

“Like a baby with a full belly. You?”

I kicked back the covers, breaking the wall of warmth it had closed around us and scooted to raise on the edge of the bed.

“Great. I’m thinking of getting one of these mattresses for my place. It may take up every inch of my entire bedroom, but it’d be well worth it.”

“Hey hey hey, where you think you’re going, little lady?!” Colton was propped on both arms, scowling at me under a lined forehead. “You ain’t even gonna have breakfast with a man? I feel so cheap.”

Always so witty, this one. “I just assumed you had a lot on your agenda today, Colt. I don’t want to hover.”

I was puzzled constantly over when to stick around, and when to leave him be. Appear as committed, but not obsessed. Interested but not overbearing. I had never been with an older man before, were the rules different?  Sure, he was only 26 to my almost 23, but nonetheless older. Did the “hard to get rule” expire with men in their late-twenties?

“Livvy, stop worryin’, baby. Mornings before a fight are actually pretty laid back. I’ll spend most of the day with my headphones in my ears, prolly take a dip in the jacuzzi,” he was rolling his eyes, motioning his hands back and forth to explain the boring schedule of his day. “Then, meet the guys in Mac’s room to talk things out before we head to the venue. So, at least lemme order us some room service so I can enjoy breakfast with my girl, ight? Unless you got somethin’ else I could eat for breakfast? It’s the most important meal of the day, y’know…”

Damn this pig. This sexy, magnificently tantalizing pig.

I hurled the hotel menu on the desk speedily toward him, “Cold shower, Ritter. Cold shower.”

If he wanted breakfast in bed with me, who I was I to deny? Rolling my puffy morning eyes at him, I crept back into bed.

“Waffles, please! And bacon. Oh! Fruit on the side, too. And coffee. Don’t forget coffee.”

Like he said, breakfast is the most important meal of the day, right?

The man was impressed with my appetite for food, among other things as well. “Yes, ma’am!” he obliged. “Anythin’ else for the princess?”

“Maybe some whipped cream? For the waffles, of course….”

I was even surprised at myself for the boldness he brought out in me. Sex was a very.. taboo thing back home. Matter of fact, I never even got “the talk” from my parents, and instead was left to the uneducated murmurs of my fellow sheltered classmates. But with Colton, I felt audacious when it came to the topic. Mind you, the things he said most of the time could sent me blushing under the table, but I was growing more comfortable with his dirty remarks and was even starting to throw in my own ornery overtone on occasion.

“Oh shit. You a damn tease, Liv Elliott. A dirty, dirty tease.”

Our indulgent spread of breakfast variety was carted to the door in a very prompt fashion. I obviously indulged more than he, devouring two Belgian waffles, 3 strips of the crispiest peppered bacon I’d ever had the pleasure of eating, a grapefruit, and two cups of coffee. He enlightened me that he could’ve eaten every morsel in front of him, but it wouldn’t be a good idea to cram all the carbs and fat into his stomach, in case it made him feel sluggish. So, regretfully it was egg whites, two slices of dry wheat toast, and a protein shake for him. I did entice him to take just one bite of my syrup sopped waffle though.

“Sheesh, I’m gonna need a solid nap later to recover from that overload.” I crashed backwards onto the feather pillow behind me, crossing my hands over the settling food baby in my stomach.

“Hey, do me a favor will ya’? Wear that sexy fuckin’ leather jacket o’ yours I like so much tonight? I know I won’t see ya’ before the fight, but I want you to wear it out to celebrate after. My little badass, front-page writer out on the town.” He was kissing my individual fingertips one at a time.

“Sounds like you’ve got it all planned out then.” My gut bubbled with hope that tonight would bring to pass every detail he had said. Him, the newly crowned Middleweight Champ on my arm, and me, the newest front-page writer for the Pitt Pilot. Could life be that perfect for us?

“Course. A man with a plan.”  I admired how he trampled every aspect of life with blinding confidence, and I wished he could somehow hypnotize me to do the same. “As much as I hate to leave good company, babe, I should get home. Let you get all angry and pouty and what not.” I sighed into a near pout, sincerely wishing I could spend the entire day as a part of his prep team.

“You’re probably right, baby doll. I can’t believe Mac ain’t been here beatin’ my door down yet.”

I was gathering my day-old clothes to redress, and Colt rose to begin lightly packing his gym bag. He threw in an unfolded change of shorts, his red headphones, then I saw him pick up the gloves I’d gifted him.

“C’mere, two-one..” I zipped my khakis up and lifted my hair out from under the neck of my shirt, then obliged to his request. He held one glove in each hand and squared them even to my chin. 

“Kiss ‘em for luck?”

My heart hiccupped, and I topped his hands with mine and dipped my puckered lips to the padded mitts with an audible “mwah.”

“That’s it. The magic touch! The final nail in that jackoff Mendez’s coffin. A kiss of luck from my girl. Now, got one more kiss on that pretty little mouth for these?” he begged, one finger pointing to his own sinful lips.

I closed in on him with fierce eye contact. “I think I may have just one little measly kiss left in here somewhere for you, champ.”

My mouth was so close to his that the words nearly vibrated off of his parting lips, and I gently cupped his dimpled cheek. It was a lethal concoction made of salaciousness and loving romance that was slowly poisoning my entire body with bliss. Colton’s hand swept down the side of my head, combing through the tangled hair he had gathered it into his fist at the back of my neck. I was locked to him and I never knew being captured could feel so, so good. My tongue covered almost every surface in his mouth, mapping it out. He withdrew and I could feel his lips spreading upward into a smile.

“Wow. I think I may need to drown myself in an ice bath now. A cold shower ain’t gonna wipe that one outta my mind.”

I was pleased that I had to same affect on him, and his did on me.

“Good luck tonight. You don’t need it. You’ve got this. Step into that cage ready to battle. Clear eyes, okay? I love you, Colt.”

“Clear eyes. I got it, baby. And I love you too, Elliott. More than you fuckin’ know.”

TAGS: @torialeysha @eap1935