#catholic guilt eddie diaz

[fromxxthexxashes]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 9-1-1 (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV) Characters: Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley, Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Howie "Chimney" Han, Maddie Buckley, Bobby Nash, Ravi Panikkar, Tommy Kinard, Christopher Diaz (9-1-1 TV) Additional Tags: Temporary Evan "Buck" Buckley/Tommy Kinard, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Tommy Kinard Break Up, 5+1 Things, Jealousy, POV Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Coming Out, Bisexual Evan "Buck" Buckley, Gay Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Unreliable Narrator, Awkward Conversations, Repressed Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Pining, Internalized Homophobia, Religious Guilt, Catholic Guilt, Minor Eddie Diaz/Marisol (9-1-1 TV), Eddie Diaz/Marisol Break Up (9-1-1 TV), off screen breakups, muay thai, Dancing, Eddie Diaz teaches Evan "Buck" to dance, Emotional Infidelity, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, 9-1-1 (TV) Season 7, Getting Together, First Kiss, Making Out, Soft Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Endgame Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz Summary:

“This doesn’t change a thing between us, okay?” Eddie promises, but something about it feels like a lie.

Eddie didn’t think that Buck was an option.

Before it was easy to ignore the way his heart would soar when Buck was around, or the way his stomach would turn to molten when Buck pressed his lips to the opening of his beer bottle, or the way Eddie's skin felt magnetically drawn to Buck’s. Buck not being able to reciprocate was a good reason not to think too hard about his feelings. Now, maybe there’s a good reason to acknowledge them.

Except-

“I kinda can’t stop thinking about him.”

Eddie hopes whatever hurt he feels doesn’t show up on his face. He’s too afraid to look at Buck to see, so he takes a moment to grieve something he has no right to grieve - because it was never his in the first place. It’s never going to be his. That’s just not something he’s allowed.

 OR

Five times Eddie sees Buck happy with someone else, and one time he realizes that Buck is happy with him (and that, maybe, Eddie is allowed to be happy with Buck too).

.

Realized I forgot to post about this on here, but I posted a little something on Ao3 a couple of days ago 🤗

[peggingeddiediaz]

911 funny tweets part 5/?

[stagefoureddiediaz]

The Helena diaz of it all has me fascinated. I’ve said for a long while that Eddie’s real issues are his mommy issues and this episode just cemented for me that we’re gonna explore that and deal with it.

Because it’s Helena who forced Eddie to grow up to fast - because her husband wasn’t around much - so she pushed Eddie into de facto parent and husband role ls - selfishly filling her needs and ignoring the damage it was doing to her son (it is a form of abuse in my book).

Eddie then had the audacity to fall in love with and marry Shannon and get her pregnant. It’s why Helena was always so off with Shannon - she was punishing her. She is also punishing Eddie for all of this and his refusal to return to El Paso only cemented further her bitterness and resentment.

Now she does have Ramon back she doesn’t need Eddie any longer to fill that role so she is still punishing him and part of that is tied into her glee over now getting to parent Christopher - something she has always been intent on doing the doppelgänger just gave her the opportunity- as well as allowing her to further punish her son and his love of Shannon.

Her barbed comments about building a pool were all about showing what she can provide Christopher - how she is parenting him better than Eddie - it’s part of her mind games - making Eddie feel like more of a failure as a parent to his son.

The reality of course is that the reverse is true - Helena’s parenting is all superficial, flash and showy - it isn’t the hard day to day parenting when things get tough and you have to be the bad guy. While Eddie has made mistakes, there is nothing superficial, flash, or showy about his parenting. It’s why bucks comments about Eddie being a great dad are so important.

Eddie feel like a failure right now and that he is entirely to blame for everything. But in reality, while he does bear a bit of the responsibility, the truth of the matter is that he needs to learn and deal with the fact that all of it actually stems from Helena and her abuse of her young son - Shannon never stood a chance just like Eddie never has.

[cloudyyycolfer]

the mustache is most likely gone… he was in a robe in the photo he posted yesterday… they’ve stopped filming and sharing as much bts content… ryan was seen filming in a church… gay eddie is coming home and they’re filming in RIGHT NOW

[warpedpuppeteer]

Okay but that scene of Eddie and Taylor having a cunt off as Buck is busy absolutely DEVOURING Eddie's cooking is going to be so much more funnier when Buddie becomes canon 😭

[harbingerofsoup]

the only death i want in 911 is eddie’s heterosexuality cause clearly he can’t be trusted with it

[izzysbeans]

As a bisexual who is incredibly excited about Buck's story this season and can relate to a lot of it, i want to say something that i can't believe some people will find controversial: Eddie has been queercoded JUST AS MUCH as Buck has this ENTIRE time. And saying you don't care about buddie happening is kinda insinuating you don't care about Eddie getting is own queer storyline and getting thrugh his catholic guilt to find his own freedom. I am SO HAPPY that buck is bisexual and free and i am loving his storyline, but Eddie deserves this freedom too. Anyone who suffered thrugh Supernatural knows that Eddie being straight is just as queerbating as it would have been if Buck stayed straight too and not advocating for that rappresentation is unfair. I am not an older gay man who has been repressing his true self with years worth of catholic guilt and loveless relationships with women, and i cannot imagine how hard that must be. But i know for a fact it's a real thing that many people go thrugh and is a story worth telling, and Eddie is the perfect character to convay the reality of that experience. Why are some people settling? Bucks bisexuality is an incredible victory worth celebrating, and i understand how starved for rapresentation we are as a community, i really do. But we need and should ask for what is right and true to the story instead of getting a little something and immediatly giving up

[exhuastedpigeon]

I want a scene where Eddie goes to confession and at the end of the scene he realizes he doesn't need or even want absolution from God or a priest because the only person who can give Eddie the forgiveness he's so desperately seeking is himself.

[goditsmeagain]

give me Eddie realising he's in love with buck before realising he's gay. give me Eddie letting himself feel joy and that joy leading him to buck. give me Eddie realising he's in love and in turn learning he hasn't been truly in love before. give me 'i haven't got it all figured out yet but I know it's you'

[imakatperson22]

Fucking a hot priest would be the ULTIMATE fuck you to Catholicism that Eddie Diaz deserves, y’all just don’t see the vision…

[peggingeddiediaz]

Eddie Diaz forgetting to log out of his work twitter account part 192/?

[stagefoureddiediaz]

The Eddie having an orgasm at his naïveté being stripped away (the pink) is truly a thing of beauty - costume and writers I salute you 🫡🫡🫡

[buckleys9-1-1]

once eddie realises he is queer and has feelings for buck (if that’s where the story is going which i feel like it is) i want eddie to come out to buck last.

because buck will be understandably upset as to why his best friend in the whole world wouldn’t be comfortable coming out to him. then we get this whole angsty episode before buck snaps and confronts eddie.

buck: i just don’t understand why you told everyone but me, do you not trust me? have i done something to upset you?

eddie: no that’s not it

buck: you’re my best friend, there’s no one i trust more in this world then you

eddie: *shouting* no! you’ve got it wrong

buck: *shouting back* then what is it?!

eddie: I LOVE YOU

buck: *in shock*

eddie: i love you so much it hurts

anyways i’m not a screenwriter so apologies if it’s shit, but something like that.

[gay-stuff-is-happening-here]

Saw this post and thought of him 🫶🫶🫶

[nostalgic-shamefest]

Watching the bucktommy/buddie schism like it's 1054 CE

[rosstrytobe]

IF YOU THINK WE DIDN’T HAVE ENOUGH GAY EDDIE HINT THIS SEASON I THINK YOU'RE BLIND BECAUSE YEAH HE SAID "I'M STRAIGHT" BUT IF YOU PAY ENOUGH ATTENTION TO WHAT THEY ARE SAYING AND EDDIE LITTLE MOVES YOU SEE THAT HE'S A VERY GAY MAN

Let me show you.

First of 8x04, makes us show a man and his kid who split up as Eddie and Chris did and we see how much Eddie was devasted by it. But more we learned about their relantionship more it makes sense that they aren’t talking about Eddie and Chris but they're talking about Eddie and Ramon relantionship:

Like Ramon did at Eddie when he was little because he was always at work:

And when the that dad told him he was tired to argue with his son because he didn’t want him to be a cheerleader. Yep, that was the hint because cheerleader was always used before for men to says he's gay. And we see how Eddie got angry at the dad because of it, but he doesn’t know why though. He thinks he's talking to this dad to make the same mistake he did on Chris, but in the end it wasn’t this relantionship is have to fix first:

(As his parents weren’t there when Eddie got shot)

Then 8x06, it show a little of his catholic guilt and how the hot priest said he chose to drink water (something simple and clean as heterosexuality) instead of juice (something complicate and a mix of fruit like being gay) because he feels like he has to punish himself for what he did when instead as father Brian said he should start to earn his forgiviness and start to do something joyfull and taking care of himself (both for what he did to Chris but also to come to terms with himself and who he really is)

Also we want to talk about how the hot priest flirt with him and Eddie was all giggle and smilying?!

While when he discover his ex gf was an ex nun he couldn't have sex with her anymore??!!

Also all the things he could have done to express joy he chose to do a Risky Buisness dance and it was just screaming GAY 💅🏳️‍🌈

PLUS COME ON THE SEXUAL TENSION ON THIS SCENE!! HELLO!!