#cat yapps

[sasucaty]

modi ji should stop lecturing other countries to protect their minorities when he himself failed to protect the women of his country.

[2009-ghost]

What’re your favorite cat pics you have?

hello anon! you ask and i shall deliver!

first, we have the beast sitting on clothes and stuff because he knows he shouldn't and looking guilty af for the most part

next, sleeping like he's possessed or deceased

the concerned face

some more silliness

and i would add more but tumblr doesn't let me post more than 10 pics so these are what y'all get for now lol

[agentadhdr1zzlander]

Might actually stop reading warrior cats soon, I was shocked to see a ninth arc be revealed, that is too many books.

The series should’ve ended a long time ago. I’ll finish a starless clan and maybe buy the graphic novel. But after that I’ll probably stop reading the new kitty books

I feel a bit the same way with the reveal of a fourth arc for wings of fire as I don’t want it to happen, I didn’t like the ending of book fifteen but I thought it was an okay end to WoF.

Although I’ll still read the new wings of fire books, I am a long time fan who has all of the books, how could I not want to complete my collection whenever a new book comes out?

[shrimpsuru]

Bucchigiri doodles! I really like this show, I think everyone is super charming and fun! And all the designs are all so good ⸜(*ˊᗜˋ*)⸝

I'm gonna go on a quick rant about Arajin, because I have no one to talk about this with, so let me shout into the void:

Okay- So as I watching the show, I really liked everyone. I thought Arajin and his pathetic-ness and wet cat nature was charming, He's a loser and I love him for that! Even when he was being a bit of an asshole I was still quite fond of him, He's flawed and that's what made him interesting. He's a bit more complex than people give him credit for. Since my opinion of Ara was fairly positive, I thought most people would agree- (I didn't think he was all that bad and most people would also find him charming) I was so surprised when I found out how many people absolutely hate this guys guts, it was so different from what I excepted lmao. I understand being annoyed with Ara and I can see how some might not like him too much, but they were on my boy's ass 💀

First of all, Ara doesn't want OR like to fight, he's just a regular teen boy, he's nothing like this big buff dudes who are constantly look for someone strong to punch. If it weren't for Senya, Ara would've been done for by now. All Ara want's is to get a girlfriend, and that's normal for a boy his age!! Everyone else in the show are the freaks, my guy just wants love!! The only reason he fights is because his delusional ass is in love with a girl who knows she can play him like a fiddle, or when he's backed into a corner an has no other choice. Arajin wanted a slice of life high school romance and was instead thrown into the middle of a gang war with a bunch of dudes who are hellbent on fighting lmao

He's just a silly little guy!! He's not built for all this violence!!

Don't get me wrong the way Ara treats Matakara is frustrating at times, and I wish they would just talk (And I'm gonna be honest the fact Matakara still looks at Ara positivelyis really surprising lmao (I'd hold one hell of a grudge but I'm just petty)) but at the same time, I don't really blame Ara. He feels guilty, and in reality he probably hates himself (For multiple different reasons). He left Matakara behind and it eats at him, just the thought of the memory triggered a nervous stomach ache. Matakara is a walking reminder of what Ara doesn't like about himself, of course he's going to avoid him like the plague. Doesn't mean its good, or even healthy but that's just how people are. Even so Ara is only ever outwardly hostile towards Matakara when the past is brought up, every other time he can have a somewhat normal interaction (even if its reluctant). And with the newest episodes, Ara is now being a bit softer with him. Progress! Its small, but still progress!

Also small complaint, there are SO many worse mcs that do far more unbearable things, Arajin is practically a saint in comparison lol ( Doesn't mean anyone not liking him is invalid or anything, again I can totally understand why some don't like him!! Just because he's better than most doesn't mean he still cant be bad for people!! ☆(＃××))

Rant over- Am I thinking to far into it? perhaps. but who cares! It's a silly show at the end of the day and I just like to yapp passionately into the void

[screeblees]

Haihaiaihaihi!!!! I reallllllllllllly like ur Angry Yan x comfort reader drabbles!!! I'm someone you'd call an absolute night owl, and maybe even someone with a big mouth. I'm always up for saying what I liek and fighting people I think are dumb. (Verbally. Most of the time.)

At night, (if the day hasn't beat my ass) I'm an insane lunatic who rambles to herself. think of me like a cat. very judgy one. (but if the day has beat my ass and I'm crying on the floor i'm just going to sleep in my tears) (jk no tears cowgirls don't cry/j)

TL;DR: I'm a bitch and I like to yapp, but I love going insane at night and talking and rambling like there's no tomorrow. That or I'm out cold like ice. There's no in-between. (btw kinda willing)

sorry i wrote this at 12:56 am and I am sick so I feel a bit silly nyahahah just a little nayahah

MEOWWWWW bounCES OFF YOUR walls very politely.

If you can't make sense of my gibberish please tell me and i'll rewrite it later when i feel more sane.

Hii!! Thanks so much for the ask (and for the very polite meows and wall-bouncing :3)!! I hope I managed to correctly translate your stream of thoughts <3

Angry ! Yandere Headcanons here !

Sorry it's been a bit since I've posted!! I get pretty busy this time of year so I've been writing where I can!

But please still send asks, I love receiving them!! :D

Find my Masterlist here !

Please enjoy!!<33

❥ Angry ! Yandere who cannot help but be in awe of you as he listens to your extensive ramblings of your topic of choice, the two of you have all the time in the world after all!

❥ Angry ! Yandere who was initially worried your talkative nature would be replaced with a shell of yourself when he first took you as his, but very quickly - as soon as you woke up, actually - that that would not be the case and found himself thrilled to hear your defiant words (he would soon teach you, but this was a great first step in your adjustment!)

❥ Angry ! Yandere who cannot find it within him to be made angry by your words, (almost) no matter what you say - at least towards you, other people on the other hand are an entirely different story - even with your extreme lack of filter, which makes him more lenient with you than he would in other areas (making back-talk your only real way to be defiant). Although this can change at the drop of a hat if his mood is already rough, that forgiving attitude being nowhere to be seen even with that usually tolerance.

❥ Angry ! Yandere who immensely enjoys not needing to punish you - it makes him proud that the two of you have come so far since he first brought you here - his moods are made even better by your chatterbox personality which supplies him a near-continuous source of peace, basking in it.

❥ Angry ! Yandere who takes great pleasure in the sound of your voice, especially when he’s falling asleep while you stay up for hours, long into the night. Your babble like white noise or pleasant rain sounds for him (and only him) to fall asleep to.

❥ Angry ! Yandere who doesn’t mind if you stay up late playing video games or working on a hobby - as long as you can sit on the bed with him whilst doing so as to let him sleep on or near you.

❥ Angry ! Yandere who minds immensely if you are the type to get up and move around a lot, needing to be up and moving not only takes the sounds of your voice move farther away from his ears but it stops him from being able to loop his arms around your waist or rest his head against you - this will only end in you being tied up and unable to leave him, which may be uncomfortable but he’s too busy cuddling you to sleep to notice.

❥ Angry ! Yandere who will put his foot down if he feels your staying up late is having negative effects. He’ll disallow caffeinated drinks and tie you to the bed at night but if you’re still unable to sleep then he’ll go straight to the sleeping pills to solve this issue, having zero patience to try any more methods which he feels will be unhelpful.

❥ Angry ! Yandere who loves the nights all energy escapes you (naturally, without the pills) and you are left practically passed out wherever you had decided to sit that evening, leaving you very pliable for cuddling without the rope or bindings in the way.

❥ Angry ! Yandere who feels pity for his Darling when the struggles of the day come crashing down a little too harshly, leaving you teary and unwelcome to the idea of moving from your chosen spot on the basement floor.

❥ Angry ! Yandere who either just scoops you up from the floor, depositing you on the bed and joining you for a cuddle-fest or joins you on the floor with some blankets and pillows, ready to get comfy where you are. He hopes to provide an ounce of the comfort you provide him by the hour just from being in your near-presence...

[imtheproblems]

quackity x warrior cats fan!reader

♧genre? -- fluff

♧type? -- headcanons

♧TW? -- none, no use of Y/N, no gender specified..

♧Authors note? -- its the time of the year ya'll 😭😭 my first ff >:33 sorry 4 sum weird things english is not my first language -w- (+ i cant write im ltrlly so dumb) i decided 2 write ffs i couldnt find hehe?

✮ starting off!! u would def torture him to read at least ONE book qwp

✮ poor boy didn't know what was happening

✮ if collect like funky editions, or books in another language, you would def show him everything

✮ imagine him talking w/ u abt like his fav cat or sum shit so cuteee😭

✮ he would be interested in like bad characters, i js know that

✮ OMG HE GIVES SUCH LIONBLAZE VIBES OMGGG

✮ if he read Into the wild and u start bragging abt other books he would be like 'bish tf r u talking abt' but he would actl read more to js know what r u talking 'bout

✮ i feel like his fav character would be Tigerclaw js bcs he's a villain T,,T

✮ this man wants 2 know more abt warriors!!

✮ i feel like after fire and ice (idk if this is the og name//) he would like get sooo into it

✮ would spoil u in figurines (i want them sm pls smn buy me i dont have money//)

✮ he will (ik this//) yapp abt this on stream like 😭😭 "yall do yk abt this silly book series?? its called warriors and its abt cats n stuff go read it rn :33"

✮ will buy them in spanish omgomg (if there r idrk..//)

✮ Baisicly u got him a new hyperfixation T,,T

[3wwo-guys]

𝐆𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐚 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 (Ninjago x Male elemental master reader)(Lloyd Garmadon x Male elemental master reader)(Elemental master of The Supernatural)

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★ Word count: 1k

★ Summary: After the merge, Atlas still doesn't make contact with his ninja team. However, at the Tournament of Sources, the team find their two missing ninja on the wrong side. (Ninjago x Male elemental master reader)(Lloyd Garmadon x Male elemental master reader)(more of an OC)

★ Warning: Fighting.

A/N: Anyone listen to the Supergrass song with the same title. I kept singing it while writing this.

𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 :)

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Roby spins on his levitating board as he announces the next round. I stand, leaning against one of the nearby temples. The ninjas—my past teammates—are gathered at one end. I spot three new ninjas: one wearing orange, one with cat ears, and another… oh god, it’s another Kai. Speaking of which, there’s a missing Kai. Also present is Lloyd. I notice he has finally taken up his role as master. I would congratulate him if I weren’t trying to gain Ras’ trust.

Roby snaps me out of my daze as he loudly (and annoyingly) hypes up the crowd. “Are you ready? I think you are. Yeah!” His large head is projected onto the massive TVs on the top display. “When they talk about the Tournament of the Sources, they often say ‘Legendary’ and ‘Mythic.’ But now they’ll also say ‘Mega-tight’ and ‘Stang-zoot’—” He continues, overly exaggerating his movements. I snarl, quite annoyed by Roby; he’s just not my type of person. I prefer calm—mostly—collected individuals, someone who can take charge. Be a reliable leader. Like Lloyd…. “—A new word I just made up, let the games continue!” However, I have to admit, that his flare and playfulness are most welcoming. Furthermore, it's quite comforting to see the ninja after such a long time. "Get your umbrella hats on causes it's about to rain elemental powers!" God this guy talks a lot. Nearly as much as Jay. Dude yapps. "First up today, she's smoking hot and likes to fight a lot. It's Wyldfyre, Elemental Master of Heat!" One of the new ninjas, I have very high hopes for this one. She was trained by Lloyd so how could I doubt that much. Since the merge, I have noticed a spike in the elemental masters, and a lot of new elemental powers appearing. I watch as the ninja hype up Wyldfyre, cheering for her. "Versus a spooky man, with a somehow more soulless gaze. Atlas! Elemental Master of, BOO, Supernatural."

There are loud gasps as I walk to the front of Ras' group, most of my team smirking widely at the ninja. Lloyd looks at me, his gaze soft and sad, with just a hint of sharp betrayal. Maybe, that gaze is enough to break my facade, that is, if I was fighting him head-on. However, fortunately, I am spared from having to fight my best friend - and maybe lover? I walk towards the middle of the entry of the arena, Wyldfyre doing the same, with Lloyd stalking just behind. I look away from Lloyd, pulling up my face mast to conceal just half of my face. I suppose it helps to cover the soft smile that temps itself to dance onto my lips. Or, the smirk that fights to plaster itself on my face. Though, Lloyd - oh the confident one - decides to ignore my obvious caution to stay away, by grabbing one of my hands. With a matching one of his and using the other to grip my neck scarf - one that he bought for me himself - this brings are faces inches closer. "Lloyd..." I whisper cautiously. My eyes widen in shock, he's never been this angry or forward. At least, not at me. "Where have you been?!" He shouted, causing me to - attempt - to step back. I shove him back, dusting myself off. Fixing my quickly cracking facade.        "-First to get it out of the circle wins!" I only catch the last part as I reposition myself next to my opponent. "Wyldfyre, I know you're itching for a good fight. But please, just go for the flag and win the game." Lloyd commanded. However, Wyldfyre seemed to totally disregard this information, instead deciding to ignore him entirely. "You know, I would listen to him if I were you. With his advice, maybe there's a chance I won't absolutely eat you alive." I empathise it by using a finger to hook around my mask, dragging it down. I smirk, opening my mouth, and showing them my lower and upper fangs. Sticking out my long, black tongue. I grin and lick my lips, putting the mask back in its original place. "Let's go spooky stuff!" Cheers Cinder from the sidelines. Lloyd looks at me with a mix of shock and anger, I watch as he shivers at my sinister tone.

Then the bell rings, and we both sprint forward, though I'm at an advantage and easily overtake her. Before I can get to the flag though, she shoots fire in front of me, I easily use the small fragment of Realm crystal in my ring to teleport behind her. Using spinjitzu to hit her into the air, I teleport over her in the air. I clasp my hands together and use all my force to hit her back, sending her flying towards the floor. Before I can use my spinjitzu again, Lloyd shouts from the sidelines. "Master Wu taught you that, you know longer have the honour to use it!" I look at him, stopping my movements. Instead of using spinjitzu, I pull out a wolf mask - which was previously strapped to my back. "Fine." I put the mask on, Ras hits the gong and I go into a shatter spin. Hitting Wyldfyre head-on, she flies out of the stadium, slamming against a wall. I walk towards the flag, grasping it and tossing it somewhere over my shoulder.

"We have a winner! Wooo." Roby announces. I turn facing my ex-team, Nya and Zane look away, as if too ashamed to look at me. However, Cole speaks up. "Atlas...Really? With them? Did we mean nothing to you? Me? I thought we were close, you were like a little brother. Zane? Nya? Jay? what about Kai? He was your mentor, a big brother, even closer than us. And.. Lloyd? How could you throw that away to side with them?" I look away, ashamed. I should be ashamed, to betray them. To betray Lloyd. But, I'm not really betraying them if I'm being a double agent. Right? However, once again, I'm broken from my thoughts by Roby. "The elemental transfer." He says though he doesn't look very happy with the outcome of the match. I spread my arms, bowing dramatically, accepting the gift of Heat. I throw a fireball into the air, causing little specks to rain down. "Flashy." says an unknown voice from behind me. Probably owned by Roby or Cinder.

And that concludes the matches for tonight.

[expiredsoda]

It’s hella late for me so you’ll get a less unhinged ask but multiple edition because you’re the one FCD member I haven’t personally victimized or interrogated

WOULD YOU RATHER

• Face off against Donna in a fist fight (you HAVE to defeat her in order to be released from the ring, she doesn’t want to fight you but she isn’t being given a choice)

• Deal with the stans, Mia, Miranda and Cassandra all over the course of 6 hours (how you deal with them is up to you, do tell how you’d deal with them)

Dealing with them: nullify them so they can cause no more harm

And an additional ask, do you have any pets? What kind of pets?

Do you play any games? Which games? :)

just when you thought the fire wouldn't burn to ya own doorstep 💀

1.) hmm obviously, fist fighting donna is a "hell nah" I mean come on not like I would could ever lay a finger on her, I ain't no wife beater 🗣️‼️

which now led us to face the other option... sigh

I think the stans and mia are relatively easy as long cassandra isn't mentioned in a convo/do something that could endangered the filipino twink. I have plenty of experience dealing with the ✨popular griles✨ for example, just be their dog

ughm I mean ughh yeah what I'm saying is I can deal with these kind of people if needed, as for "nullify" them welp they wouldn't cause any harm as long I'm smart about my mouth 💀

for cassandra herself I think she wouldn't actually be too hard either, at most I got my ear yapp off or get flirt ig 🤷 which both are fine with me 😔(😏) engaging some convo with cass would actually be fun though ngl

last but not least, miranda the bird bitch herself 👏 there no room for me to speak, she's the one to decide how to deal with me 💀. honestly though, I imagine miranda would just be the typical headmistress to npc student, so at most she's just gonna ask me a lot of stuff about my grades 💀

now that I think about it I rather spend the time with donna instead🧍huh what you say? I have to DEFEAT her in order to get RELEASED from the ring? who say I wanna get released 😏 (ayo bro???

2.) I only got one doggo (milo) as for now, another precious old baby just passed away not long ago 🕊️, though I am more of a cat person lmao ':3c

3.) as for games, mostly gacha games rn like hsr/re1999/path to nowhere, they all got good artstyle and amazing plot lines which made sense that I also enjoy some visual novels, or interactive story based game like life is strange etc

[milobobilooo]

(Header ID: an image of a whale shark swimming through the water. The shark covers most of the screen. End ID)

(Icon ID: A pale skinned boy with a mullet. The front part is green while the rest is a dark brown. He has on a heart choker, a Garfield tshirt, a brown flannel, and has dark brown dog ears. He has a speech bubble that says “woof!”. There is a trans flag in the background with white stars on top of it. Picrew made by makówka on picrew! End ID)

Hi my name is milo and i use he/him and xey/xem pronouns! Please do not use they/them pronouns for me. I am queer trans person who loves micro labels and xenogenders. I am autigender!!! My autism impacts my gender in ways that can not be separated!! Fuck right off if you’re gonna tell me i can’t be that way <3

I am a low-medium support needs autistic person. I struggle with reading tone and understanding jokes a lot. I use tone tags frequently so if you don’t like those get off my page.

I mostly reblog things related to:

Queer identities and positivity, Trans positivity and stuff, Xenogenders and microlabels, Good omens, Stardew valley, Sharks and Opossums, Art, and more.

My Tags are:

(Talking abt my opinions/life) #milo yapps

(My xenogender hoard) #milos gender hoard

(Favorite stimboards) #milo’s fav stim boards

That’s all, hope you have a good day :D (smile face)

Alt text below the cut!!

Start ID

User box with an isopod on the left, and text on the right that reads “this user loves bugs”.

User box with an opossum on the left, with text on the right that reads “this user bites you bites you bites you”.

User box with Toothless from How to Train Your Dragon on the left, and text on the right that reads “this user loves how to train your dragon”.

User box with a cat drawn on the left, and text on the left that reads “this user is a little guy” but poorly spelled to make it more funny.

User box with the tbh or autism creature on the left, with text on the right that reads “This user is silly!”.

User box with a person biting another person on the left, with text on the right that reads “this user bites people who use the term nonverbal when they lose their speech”.

User box with the rainbow infinity sign on the left, and test on the right that says “this user is proudly autistic”.

User box with a trans flag image on the left, and text on the right that reads “this user is trans and sick of your bullshit”.

End ID

[ume-ume-39]

some more doodles cuz ofc

sketch doodles

doodles canonicaly made by my oc rin sateko (the dude in the first drawing) (it was for a skit thing that i did with jin cuz funny)

doodles i made while working on my summer ume drawing

other doodles

and finaly. The greatest ume reaction image. He is absolutely horrified of what he's witnessing

also off topic bit i've been listening to the mind electric a whole ton recently and i wanna make an oc based on it and just the rest of hawaii part || cuz its really good. But i'm currently banned from making song based ocs temporarily ://

i also have a lot more oc ideas but i'm trying to minimize them as much as i can cuz i don't want way too many

anyways heres my cat as a gift for listening to me yapp

[sasucaty]

the FUNNIEST shit occurs at night. dakat mamas think they can loot everything but the public is on the streets doing the most random shit ever. even bd army is DONE with gen z.

[2009-ghost]

I bless you with Toby pics ♡

He's so menacingly cute ^^

his beanss😭❤️❤️

girl i love your cat he's so pretty 🛐

he appears to enjoy nomming on stuff very much XD what's his fav food?

[frawbert]

crocheting? gouache? job hunting and picking up mindful hobbies yet stricken with yapp to cat

[vavuska]

TINA AND HER LOVE FANTASIES (Part Two)

4 - Tina is into furries

In STEAL MAGAZINE-OLIAS (S11 Ep20) Belcher kids get into a cat-and-mouse game with Dr. Yap when he catches them stealing a magazin from the waiting room of his office, while Tina is fancied by a comic character on the same magazine, a fox dentist called Professor Foxtail.

Tina: Am I crazy or is that, like, the dreamiest fox scientist ever?

Louise: The first thing you said.

Tina: Gene, how about we stop hogging the magazine, huh, buddy?

Gene: Sorry.

Tina: Hey, you.

Dr. Yapp: Please don’t stroke the magazines.

Tina: Yep. Yep. I didn’t kiss it, either, when no one was looking.

Later, when Bob asks how was the dentist, Tina answers: “I fell in love. I mean, uh, never mind. I-It wasn’t a fox scientist.”

First Part

<<<<<

[lifeexperience]

The model, the ‘chaos’ family and the night owl - CH. 04 - Family feels

Masterlist - Previous

*

“A sociopath, again.” Tim Drake moaned loudly as he proofread through Gabriel Agreste’s finished file. It was clear as his coffee mug. The man was reclusive, narcissistic and had habits of child (It’s Adrien.) neglect and endangerment. And those were just the public approach.

It was honestly a miracle how anybody thought that man could be the father of the Adrien Agreste, the sunshine of Paris. Like, the man had more politicians in his hand than the rookie Lex Luthor. And the bald was a genius in that area when he was only teens.

His musing was interrupted with his sibling’s arrival.

“Soooo, what you got, Timmy boy?” Jason dropped himself down next to Tim’s chair.

“Our newest addition has his own tragic story.” Tim answered in resentment just like every time if they met something like this situation. “His only fault is his hair.” he pointed out the bright gold hair raising the mood - his and his brother’s too.

“Yeah.” his brother nodded smugly at the picture. “I was shocked that Brucie was able to make a kid with a blond head.”

“Right?!” Dick also appeared behind his chair loudly with a righteous expression. “And B never let me dye my hair when I was teen. At least Adrien has the cat instincts for this family. Finally I have someone other than Selina to pun.”

“Tt.” Yapp, Damian was also within foots. The gremlin glared at the computer just like them.

“Someone is jealouuuuus.” Jay sang in his irritatingly high voice, then bent down right away as a batarang flew over his head. The little demon didn’t tolerate any commentary about his feelings toward the french teen since they arrived back. It was quite amusing to watch him change colors every one hour as they dropped something related to Adrien.

While his two - relatively more aggressive - brothers fought about their own stupid things, Dick sat down at Jason’s place and went through the file. Tim watched in interest as the most positive person in the family started scowling, then growling in anger within minutes.

The oldest turned to him with a frown. “Does Bruce know?”

Tim shook his head negatively. “I only finished up ten minutes ago, and just proofread it when you all came down.”

His oldest brother hummed as he immersed in his thoughts. Then opened some other files up. “It’s quite interesting how he employed the Rossi girl without any prior experience.”

Tim nodded. “And if you scan the company database you will see there were flags about her behavior. The photographer, the stylists, even Adrien’s bodyguard made a complaint about what she was doing in sets… Or with Adrien.” He pointed at one of the text documents. “Here, their set builder commented how she didn’t even listen to Adrien about letting him go. Or the bruises on his arms.” Tim grabbed his empty coffee mug with a little too much force. “It’s really messed up.”

“Do you think he knew about it?” Dick lowered his voice so the other two didn’t hear his question. Tim leaned closer.

“About what?”

“About not being the biological father.”

Tim’s brain froze up at hearing the assumption. If Gabriel knew about not being the father, then… Then there had to be some proof for some DNA test or something. And that knowledge was kind of hard to take in for Tim. He felt how neglectful parents treat their own blood kid, he was one of that many kids. But if Gabriel knew about not being the father, he was not just neglectful, he was straight cruel.

“Gabriel obviously doesn’t care much about Adrien’s safety expect his value for the company. He is the face, but he doesn’t have any contract. Didn’t get any money, and he let the kid be harassed.” Dick continued his train of thought quietly as he pointed out some of the opened documents, barely disguised his own rage. “Gabriel used, and is still using our little brother like some puppet to his own success.”

Tim gulped at Dick’s face. Of course, he also was disgusted, but he almost felt sorry for the Agreste for what waited for him. Dick rarely was that angry.

*

Next

[writingmorsels]

Prompt: Surprise...?

One year after the happenings with The Company, you and Alex have finally found kind of an equilibrium. You two have bought a house together in some white-picked-fence neighborhood and you were even thinking about adopting a pet, to fill out the house. Well, you're gonna fill the house alright, but not with an animal.

You've been under the wind for a while now and it was frustrating.

You were temporarily the only breadwinner in the house, while Alex tried to have his old job back, and responding to a dispatch call while retching on your toilet wasn't the greatest feeling to start the day with.

You stopped a fight between two very angry, very 'I want to see your manager' looking women. You had to do a welfare check for an old man that almost shot you in the head with a sawed off shotgun. You had to respond to a domestic violence report only to discover it was for a couple really into roleplay.

You were tired.

Legs like jelly, you barely managed to reach for the bathroom before you could empty the contents of your stomach against the porcelain for the upteenth time that week.

Alex didn't know any of that and for a good reason: he already crucifixed himself for not being able to regain his job or any job really, because of his past. He didn't have to worry about your health, either. He was already a sweetheart with you as is.

It was just a stomach bug, you had worse.

Besides, Alex was busying himself at home while you were back on the field: he kept the house clean, did the laundry and, especially, he finally learned to cook something other than 'reheat bought stuff into the microwave'.

The first dishes were… okay. Edible.

But lately he managed to make something actually delicious… and it all ended up in the gutter, after you had another episode.

You came out of the precinct bathroom and flopped onto the nearest chair, at dispatch's station. "Ugh, someone got smashed yesterday or what?" You heard one of your coworkers joke and you groaned back to him, massaging your aching stomach. "Shuddup Mitchell... it's a stomach bug I can't shake off," you whined a little, making the man smirk. "Oh, so you don't wanna meet the recent reject from K-9? He was so eager…!" and a yapping sound made you perk up again. At your feet was a German Shepherd puppy, the fluffiest and cutest you ever seen.

Your eyes lit up as you bent down, meeting with the jumpy, shaky, ecstatic pup. “Oh my God you so cute! Awww yiss you aaare!” your voice came out as a high-pitched mess, almost mimicking the puppy’s yapps.

Your hands went to grab him underneath his front paws and hoisted him up, laughing as the little doggie started to lick your face.

Needless to say, not even ten minutes later you were sitting on the chair with the now sleepy pup melting into the crook of your elbow.

He had his front paws folded on themselves and he was nuzzling against your chest with small little snores coming from his nose. "He sure warmed up to you quickly!” Mitchell laughed, seeing the dog relaxed “Ready to bring him home already?"

Mitch knew of the cat-dog debacle in your home, so it came natural for you to ask him to keep him in the K-9 kennels for a little while. “I still have to speak with Alex about it… but I’m sure he would love him. Look at him…! Aww sho tired, good boy!” your attention went back to the puppy again, feeling him turn a little into your baby-hold.

You were having the time of your life, for once not even remembering your terrible mornings. “Aww, you’re practicing?” a voice joked and you moved your head to see one of your friends from dispatch, Lauren, approaching her desk.

You smiled, confused. “Practicing?” “Yeah! For the baby!” she replied to your question, pointing a finger towards the sleepy puppy in the crook of your elbow.

Baby?

“What are you talking about?” your voice came out with a slight hint of fear in its tone and Lauren giggled, putting her coffee down just so she could grab her headset. “Morning sickness, it never changes! In my second pregnancy it was even worse! If you want, I can give you a recipe for a miraculous smoothie."

You froze on the spot, her words hitting you so hard they almost knocked you over; all slowly came together with the nausea first thing in the morning, the strange tiredness, the moodiness that seemed to anticipate a shark week that never came.

Lauren noticed your uncomfortableness and furrowed her brows. “What’s wrong?” “N-no!...no I’m...it’s- I've changed pills recently, I’m not...” you lied through your teeth, eyes large as eggs and skin going a little pale.

You felt nauseous again, for different reasons.

You didn't even think about the possibility of…

Yeah your shark week still wasn't nowhere to be found, but you were only just a little late, it happened all the time. You were just...stressed.

That wasn’t the time nor the place to be pregnant. If you got stuck in maternity, how would you two pay for bills and food?

And Alex...oh your poor darling, after a year he still wasn't over Cameron's death and you wouldn't blame him.

You couldn't give him another heartache like that, giving him another child like some kind of substitute.

He would start spiraling down again like after everything ended with the Company, when he finally stopped worrying and let himself grieve.

You couldn’t do that to him, no no no...

With panic starting to fizzle in the back of your brain you watched Lauren, who looked amused. "Oh I get it! Yeah, changing those is always a pain…!" she shrugged before taking a sip of her coffee, booting up her computer.

Even Mitchell felt the awkwardness of the moment, because he broke it by leaning forward and grabbing the pup from your arm. “I’ll keep him for a little more, alright! No problem…!” the man smiled forcefully at you, silently asking if you were fine.

You were not fine.

The doubt had been planted.

On your way home you stopped by the nearest pharmacy and after grabbing an antiemetic from over the counter, you stopped in front of the rows and rows of pregnancy tests, uneasy and confused.

Old style? Electronic? Did the type change something? Did it matter?

"Fuck this…" you muttered as you bought a random one.

During the rest of the drive home you felt that little plastic thing weigh on your passenger seat like a block of cement, the pastel-colored box peaking through the paper bag, laughing at you with it’s ‘oh the joy of motherhood!’ packaging design.

Of course if things would’ve been different, you would’ve been thrilled. Having a family with the love of your life was something you always desired.

You would’ve been so happy to give Alex another baby, give Cameron a little brother or sister. Unite their fractured family once again.

Instead, you now had to suffer all that psychological turmoil, because of the Company.

Even after their defeat, they managed to give anguish to you all.

When you finally arrived home you parked in the driveway and waited for a second, for two. Waiting for someone to pop out from outside the frame and yell "That was a joke, there's the camera!".

Nothing moved but you, as you got off the car and trudged inside.

You passed the front door and approached the small table near the entrance, slowly removing part of your gear, one piece at the time.

The radio, the gun, the handcuffs with their keys, your hat and your boots. Everything found its place while your mind was still in utter chaos.

The only thing still glued to your fingers was the small brown paper bag from the pharmacy. "Welcome back honey!" You heard Alex’s voice come out of nowhere, right next to your ear, and you gave out a shrill yelp, grasping at your chest like trying to stop your heart from pounding out of it. "Alex!" You heaved as you turned, seeing him grinning down at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes. "For fuck's sake you gave me a heart attack! Stop being sneaky when I come home!" You added, watching him now starting to laugh uncontrollably, a half apron around his hips and sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

He was cooking you dinner, as always… sweet bastard. "One of these days I'm gonna shoot you by accident–" "That's why I wait until you're unarmed…!" Alex chuckled back, leaning down to kiss you hello.

You replied in kind, sighing just a little against his lips when they met. "What's that?" you felt him reach for your hand, grabbing the paper bag from your grasp. You came back to reality and his hand on your hip suddenly felt uncomfortable.

You immediately reached back and yanked the bag from him before he could even look inside, taking your forbidden loot to your chest. "Ladies have their secrets…!" You tried to joke, to sell him the lie as best as you could.

You couldn't, but he didn't inquire for the moment. Alex only rose an eyebrow and watched you with his interrogation gaze, making you squirm a little. "Don’t look at me that way, mister! You don’t have to know all that happens to my little lady down there!" you tried to double down on being light and jokey, maybe letting a little frustration come through.

It was a half-truth, was it not? "Well I would love to be let in the loop… Maybe I could help you out with that," he spoke softly, his voice in a good spot between affectionate and erotic.

Out of instinct you took one step backwards, away from him. "No no! No one but my eyes have permission to gaze upon the horrors of some yeast infection...or shit like that" while holding the bag closer, you put a hand on his chest to push him away. “I’ll handle it...just…” your eyes wandered for an instant, thinking. “Just think of this a ‘biohazard zone’ for a couple of days, ok?” your free hand now waved in front of your crotch, making him chuckle. “As long as I can kiss you, I don’t have a problem with that,” he replied, stealing another quick peck from your lips. “Dinner’s almost ready hun, go get changed.” Alex then moved away, towards the kitchenette of your lovely home.

You didn’t wait more than a second before bolting up the stairs to the bathroom, clutching the box through the brown paper. For a moment you remained impressed by your bullshitting ability.

You bullshitted your way out of that situation like Michael Scofield strolled in and out of his jail cell at Fox River (Sucre told you several times about that at every chance he got, when you invited the whole gang over for the holidays).

Closing the door behind you, you aimed for the sink counter and dumped the content of the bag on top of, grabbing the furiatingly pale box and almost tearing it open. Your fingers trembled when you finally grabbed the white-and-pink stick.

It felt like a murder weapon, in your hands. “Ok...how do I…” you mumbled, scared.

You never even think about researching it, it was your very first encounter with something like that. Did you have to...stick it in?

You grabbed the flimsy instruction papers from deep inside the box and opened it, trying to find the right language to read it.

Oh…

You peed on one side and see the result on the other.

Simple, right?

Sure, technically it was as basic as it could come, but no one prepared you for the longest. Three minutes. Of your life.

You sat on the toilet after you did the do, holding the test flat as it was written and watching intently at the little white window.

You saw the first line starting to appear, coloring in a light blue, and your stomach started to churn again. “Please stop there, stop there, c’mon it's just a stomach bug, c’mon c’mon…!” you begged the little demonic stick, your knuckles turning pale for the sheer force you used to hold it.

Your blood thickened in your veins, when the second little line started to appear, the color deepening by the second.

"Oh no."

Oh no indeed. You had to call someone...and your mind immediately picked the best number to call.

"Thank you for coming... I didn't– I don't know what to do."

Sara Tancredi had sat herself in front of you, in the small diner you chose for your encounter.

Little one-year-old Michael had been sleeping in his stroller from the moment he and his mother came in. "No problem, I was around!" The woman smiled at you, her eyes already scanning you.

She saw the paleness of anxiety, cold sweat and dark circles. And the way you grasped at a small brown box like it contained a rabid beast. "What's the problem that Alex isn't allowed to know about?" Sara immediately asked and you shrank in your seat, looking guilty. "Why you thought–" "We're in a public place outside his usual zone, away from your place of work where he sometimes surprises you and you didn't explained over the phone while he was at home," she never dropped the smile, watching you with her seemingly sweet eyes...but you knew there was a tigress behind the gentle façade. "I…" "I've been a drug addict for a good portion of my life...and on the run the rest of it. I can recognize the signs, Y/n. Just tell me, I'm the last person who would judge you."

Slowly your fingers let go of the brown paper and pushed it towards her, across the table. Sara grabbed it, confused, and gasped a little when she saw the pregnancy test box. "You mean…?" She whispered, opening the box and immediately looking at the result window. "I had this stomach bug and–" "how many days are you late?" Sara immediately asked and you blinked, counting mentally. "Five-no, six days. It happens all the time, I didn't think I could be…" your voice trailed off as your favorite Doc smiled even brighter, letting the text down to hold your hands. "Is wonderful! Aw I'm so happy for–" "Sara, is not wonderful…!" You heaved, clawing at her hands. "I'm the only one with a job, a dangerous job. And-and Alex is still mourning his son, how can I...just waltz in and tell him 'here take a replacement'! I... don't know how he would react…"

Silence fell between you two for a long instant, where you felt ready to vomit.

You weren't ready for any answer, really. You didn't want Alex to know and you felt repulsion at the thought of aborting Alex's child, making him lose another.

Then, Sara sighed, patting your hands. "Listen... keeping this a secret is horrendous, for both you and Alex. You have to tell him." The woman tried to find your eyes, pulling at your hands to grab your attention. "Everything could happen, Y/n, especially in your line of work. What if you got wounded while hiding your pregnancy and the first doctor Alex will speak to will make his condolences because your child died? It could lead to a lot more drama…" Sara's usually bright eyes turned dark a little, her expression souring. "If… I never told Michael about his son, he would've died without knowing it... and I plan on telling my son who his father was. Please tell him, Y/n. He's a smart man, you will work this through as a couple…" The good doctor then smiled again, shaking the melancholy off her shoulders. "Think about it, if you decide to keep it, Mike will have a friend to play with!"

You had to wait at least three more weeks for your plan to work out.

The first week and a half were spent building up the courage to make the announcement.

In the remaining time, you studied on the internet how to do it in the best way.

Eating anti-emetic pills as if it was candy, you lied through your teeth when Alex asked if your little lady felt better, telling him that yes, you felt better.

You tried to act natural, but the more time passed, the more you felt sick and the more time you spent evading Alex, knowing he would grill an answer out of you if he ever suspected something.

After work, you spent as much time as possible driving around searching for the items you needed.

Sara agreed to accompany you to your gynecologist, making it look like a girls' day out. You and your baby were healthy, the doctor assured you, and the pregnancy was going well. "How come hubby's not here?" The doctor asked and you choked on your saliva. "W-well I'm... I'm planning a surprise for him and-" "aww dear that's so nice! What about taking the baby's first photo to add to the surprise?" The man cheered, prepping the machine.

Your hands shook around the freshly printed black and white photo, Sara laughing at your side and telling you to breathe.

You practically sat in front of the entrance door when you bought online one of the items you needed, grabbing the Amazon box like Gollum would do with his precious, running upstairs where you hid all away in your closet.

Then, THE Sunday morning came.

You two had a really intense, really intimate encounter the night before and Alex was still asleep on his side of the bed. His naked body was always a pleasure to see first thing in the morning, you thought as you rolled over to give him a soft kiss on his cheek. "Breakfast in bed…?" You asked in a whisper, obtaining a low 'yah' muffled in the pillow.

With a little chuckle you kissed him again, this time searching for his lips. “Stay here, I’ll do it.” and then you got off the bed, walking downstairs towards the kitchenette.

Everything had been hidden the night before in strategic places, knowing you'd be the first to come and open the cupboards: there sat a new mug you bought for the occasion, with a cheerful 'good morning handsome' written on the side.

As you grabbed it, you smiled a little when you read the other phrase etched and colored on the inside of the mug.

You're going to be a dad.

Heart, heart, heart.

Then, behind it, you grabbed a pair of boxes. One contained a shirt that you immediately donned, bold text reciting 'sending backup' on your chest.

The second remained closed and found its place on the tray you prepared on the island.

Coffee was made, mugs were filled and a plate of cookies was strategically placed on top of the thin box. Then up you went towards upstairs, where Alex was still enveloped in the blankets like a tired mummy.

You smiled against your anxiety, feeling your hands tremble while holding the tray and the teaspoons inside the mugs clinked as you approached.

You tried to remember Sara’s words, he loved you and you would work that through, as you put down the tray near the end of the bed, but when you bent down you felt your stomach churn again, reminding you that yes, you forgot to buy new antiemetics.

Grin and bear, grin and bear… “Good morning…!” you called in a little singsong voice, feeling your heart stop pounding in your ears when he opened his wonderful, glassy-looking blue eyes, still sleepy but oh so shiny. Gemstones filled with entire oceans. “G’morning honey…” he replied, voice husky and a little gruff, stretching his neck to reach for your lips.

The kiss had been gentle, sweet and warm, his lips still soft from a whole night of good sleep. “Coffee’s ready, c’mon...I brought up your favorite cookies, too.” you moved aside, letting him sit up on the mattress, but instead reached for your hand and pulled you closer for another barrage of soft little pecks. “Mmmh ‘m up,” he mumbled between kisses, eyes closed and body one step closer to fall asleep again.

Oh no you didn’t go through all that trouble for him to just sleep on it..! “You’re not up…! C’mon sleepyhead, before it gets cold!” you chuckled, sincerely amused by his weak try in seducing you back to sleep.

Alex huffed and almost dragged himself to sit up, scratching at his collarbone for an instant before his eyes would finally take in the content on the tray. “What’s the occasion?” he smiled confusedly, brows furrowed as he grabbed the new mug, chuckling as he read the outside.

You sat down on the edge of the bed, facing him. “Well, we’ve been in kinda of a rough patch, lately...with too much job or no job at all,” you started to explain, putting a couple of fingers on the thin box so he couldn’t take it immediately. “This is...a gift...for you,” your voice cracked for a second, nervousness starting to show.

He saw that and for a moment Alex paused, mug mid-air.

“...it’s not a ‘sorry I cheated on you’, is it?”

The question came out maybe a little too harsh, Alex noticed only after the last word left his mouth, but he had that strange feeling that you were hiding something, for so long now.

You only snorted for the absurdity of the thought, shaking your head. “You wish! So you could dump my sorry ass and find yourself a rich cougar, uh?” you smiled, trying to ease his deep furrowed brow. “I’m not cheating, you should know-” “Then why have you dodged me for the last three weeks? I saw you talk to Mitch from K-9 a lot, last month” his husky voice came out with a tense curiosity in it.

“Eugh…!” you rolled your eyes. “Why do I stop talking to you about Christmas gifts two weeks before the twenty fifth? Because you spoil yourself with that smart brain of yours!” you grabbed a cookie from the platter and gently threw it at him, making him giggle just a smidge. Alex seemed appeased by your reply, taking another long sip of his coffee. “I would understand, if you cheated. I know I have a terrible personality, even if I try to-” his voice stopped all of a sudden, when his eyes focused on the bottom of the now nearly-empty mug.

His eyes shot back to you almost immediately, finally realizing what was written on your chest. “...that’s why!” he breathed. “That’s why you were all buddy-buddy with Mitch…! Oh no, Y/n, we already talked about it!” he almost whined, putting down the mug. “Don’t tell me you adopted one of the rejects from K-9...please tell me that’s not it…!” he added, a little desperate. “I love dogs, I do, but we’re rarely home one way or another and it would feel alone all day and it would destroy stuff and-” you stopped his rambling by handing him the thin box. “Open it,” you whispered, now nervous for his initial reaction.

If he seemed so negative about life with a dog, what would he say about a child…?

“Please don’t be a collar…” he muttered as his bony fingers removed the lid of the box.

His face became even more confused, as he saw a little square of fabric with some words written on them.

"What…" Slowly he brushed aside the crinkly paper and raised up what he thought was a shirt, but as the piece of clothing unraveled, his entire body froze, trying to compute what he was looking at.

A tiny, black onesie, soft as can be, with tiny little handcuffs on the front.

"Daddy's best backup" was impressed underneath the handcuffs, in bright pastel colors.

Alex didn't react for a good handful of seconds and now you knew how criminals felt while lining up for witness' identification. You never unglued your gaze from your lover, seeing him trying to understand, behind his clear, crystal eyes. You saw his hands tremble as he lowered the baby clothing, his attention passing from the fabric to yourself, then towards the box again.

A couple of fingers moved towards the ultrasound picture that you left on the bottom of the box, barely touching it before letting them sink again in the little onesie's softness. "Y/n…" he croaked your name and your chest went taut out of pure fear. "Is... you're telling me that...that you…" "y-yes" you immediately reply, as to cut short the torturous wait. "I -uhm… I took a couple of tests...and...a-all positive…" you managed to add, watching him sitting on the bed completely lost, as if the news didn't fully hit him.

He looked at the mug, then at the photo without stopping cuddling the tiny onesie with his fingers. "I... we're still in time if you...i-if you don't want–" "What?" He rounded his head towards you, as if snapping to reality.

You gulped, worried. "You...if you're not ready yet...we can wait...I could find a doctor, Sara will help me after the...t-the…" you stopped yourself from crying, the thought of losing the baby feeling like a wound opening in your very soul.

"What do you mean...not ready?" He then asked with a tender whisper. "I…" Alex gave out a shocked chuckle, but the corners of his mouth curled up in a smile. "I'm not the one pregnant with our baby, am I?" The word finally came out of his lips and the way he said it just melted your heart away, its panicked pounding now filling with warmth at every beat.

You watched Alex slowly fold the onesie again, this amazed and completely baffled expression on his face. "Because of Cameron…" you uttered, gripping at the hem of your t-shirt.

Every doubt you had, every fear, it poured out after that. Alex had always been your confident, your wise guide to ask for help and not being able to tell him your grudges for so long did a number on you, especially for something so important like a pregnancy. "I feared you would take this...as a replacement. Make you remember all over again…! I don't want you to….to fall back down in that dark place, Alex. I could never–" your voice gave out in a sob and immediately he seemed to turn back to his usual, protective self.

His hands grabbed the tray and moved it quickly on the other side of the bed, before taking both your hands and pulling you toward him. "Come here honey..." he called under his breath, enveloping you in his strong arms as you found place on his lap. One of his hands came up and started to gently stroke your nape, as the other wrapped around you.

For a moment, you didn't think of anything but his presence. His beating heart underneath his skin, finding your palm. His breath whispering in his lungs and falling onto the top of your head. "Listen... I'll never...never get over Cam. The death of a child is… devastating." He leaned slightly forward, completely hugging you with his frame. "And yes I was in a dark place… I got blinded by my pain and didn't see what I was causing you…and maybe I got addicted to my misery..." his hands shook against you, but he only pushed them a little harder to grip your clothes. "But don't you ever...ever think that I'll make you do something as horrible as abortion. I can't have you experience that kind of pain."

His lips came and kissed your hair, his whole body starting to tremble as well as his fingers. "And this...oh my God Y/n, I'm not accustomed to this kind of happiness anymore…!" Alex laughed now, his voice that stumbled for a moment in his throat. "And now I can't even... I can't find the words to describe how happy I am  right now..."

All of your anxiety melted away as he hugged you now even more. "So...we keep it?" "It's our baby! Of course we keep it!" He chortled at your question, now letting you go only to grab the onesie again, looking at it with tearful eyes, a bright smile on his face.

Alex brought the piece of clothing to his face and closed his eyes, to feel the softness of the fabric. "You always bring me the biggest joys in my life...even in my worst moments, you were there..." his glassy eyes opened again and found yours, the lights in them shining like a dawn after a long storm. "And now you gift me this miracle…our little miracle…"

Silence fell after his words, the speech hanging in the air like mistletoe at Christmas. Heartwarming, hopeful.

He always had his way with words, didn't he?

"This is way better than a dog..."

Sometimes his way with words was the dumbass way.