#cat are amazing and idc what anyone says

[very-gay-poet]

Harry’s Patronus/Animagus isn’t a Stag.  (When I wrote this I was severely sleep deprived and just wrote this out so I could stop thinking about it so i apologise if I don’t make a lot of sense, repeat stuff or spelling errors. I also do loose my point somewhere in here but be patient I do get it back at the end enjoy!)

A stag is James Potter’s animagus and most likely his Patronus. 

James and Harry are not the same person. 

I hate the idea of Harry’s animagus being a stag since that is just not Harry! 

Stags symbolise gentleness, innocence, intuition, and unconditional love, as well as safety, strength, and protection. Basically everything we know as to be James Potter. 

His unconditional love with Remus, his protection over Sirius when he ran way, safety and strength is practically his moto and what the rest of the marauders see in James. His strength and the feeling of safety around him is what made so popular. 

Harry’s Patronus/Animagus isn’t a Stag. 

This maybe a bit of a stretch, but idc, Harry first did a Patronus when he was 13. 

When he was 13, he knew fairly a lot about his parents. One thing we really know is that his dad (as Harry thought at the time) was put on a pedestal as a man with no flaws. Harry had met his parents best friends (Remus) and obviously heard a lot about his dad mostly from off handed things like them looking alike.

Harry continuously takes pride when someone’s says this to him in his first couple years in the wizarding world. 

But what happened when this pedestal broke? What happened when he found out that his father, a man to be described as the closest thing to perfect, had a lot of flaws (the main one being his arrogance). 

In the beginning of OoTP Harry is fully able to produce a Patronus (albeit with a bit of trouble but the kid had still been processing Cedric’s death and Voldemort coming back to life and the graveyard thing so give him a break) but by the time Harry saw snapes memory and went as far to think that Lilly was forced to marry James, he didn’t (as far as I’m aware of) produce a Patronus. 

By the sixth and seventh book (when he was questioning who his father was and if he could’ve been too naive) he wasn’t able to produce a Patronus at all. 

In my opinion, Harry’s Patronus came from the love and admiration of James. It isn’t even too far fetched. 

Tonks and Snape’s both changed to match the ones they love. 

Tonks’s turned into a wolf and Snape’s to a doe.  

If Tonks had an animagus form it 100% would not be a wolf. It’s the same with Snape. It would most likely (said by the author herself) be a Bat. 

Your animagus and Patronus is not the same thing. 

As I’ve said, Stags/deers represent gentleness, innocence, intuition, and unconditional love, as well as safety, strength, and protection. This does not suit Harry at all. 

Gentleness is not Harry’s forte when it comes to his hot temper, for innocence he has seen more then most adult wizards have and witnessed so many people die, was tourchered by the most powerful man of the age aka his parents murderer, following the death of a classmate/companion, and the person who’s the reason he’s an orphan cut off his hand to rebirth said murderer, many people were there and laughed, etc etc (I could litterly go on all day), the boy is about as observant as a brick wall, unconditional love I can get behind yes he shares that trait, boy has never been safe before in his life what you on about, strength yes he does have a ton of strength for not just getting a gun and shooting bloody old Voldy in his none existent nose and yeah so pretty good with that, protection is a hot topic, since this could mean one of a couple of things:

Lilly’s protection 

People y’know dying for him 

The boy has never really been protected since he was one sooo

As for all reasons above, Harry Patronus is a stag, not because it fits him, it’s besucase he loves his dad goddammit!!!!  AND IN THE DEATHLY HALLOWS MY POINT IS LITTERLY PROVEN WHEN HARRY SAYS: “The fact of his own survival burned inside him, a talisman against them, as though his father’s stag kept guardian in his heart.”

FATHERS STAG!

A better fit for Harry, in my opinion, would be a black cat. 

A black cat, to many, is an omen of bad luck. Is some other cultures it’s a sign of good luck however. And we can sure as hell say that his boy has both on his side simultaneously and is fighting each other constantly. 

When asking Google what a cat symbolises it says: 

“The cat symbolizes grace, intelligence, cunning, and independence. The cat is a fascinating animal that cultures around the world have long revered. They are agile and nimble, able to move with silence and stealth. At the same time, they are also fiercely independent, choosing to live on their own terms.” 

Let’s break this apart. 

Grace 

Grace means, in a short form, elegance. 

Elegance is something Harry definitely has, just not on two feet. 

When Harry’s is on his broom, playing or practicing Quidditch, he is extremely skilled, earning his spot of the youngest seeker in a century. In his first Quidditch match, Harry won for gryffindor by standing on his broom, somehow balancing his weight perfectly, and was able to catch the snitch. (This may be only in the movie sorry).

Harry’s skills on his broom and in Quidditch are to thank his ability to have such grace on a broom. 

Intelligence is something Harry 100% does not lack. “—not a bad mind either—There’s talent, oh my goodness yes—“ - the sorting hat, 1991. 

“Not a bad mind either” is to reference that Harry would’ve been a good fit for any house, as in the it referenced all four houses, and the simplification of people in each house value. 

Harry is also the person to completely understand  Dumbledore’s plan in the deathly hallows so quickly I was honestly shocked

When I read DH I was actually very shocked on how fast Harry picked up on Dumbledore’s plan. He said, almost word for word, what his plan was and Ron and Hermione (mainly Hermione) didn’t believe it. 

It was clear here, by just this example, that Harry has far more open mindedness than his friends and intelligence in general. 

As he was the one to figure out that Voldy used the R.O.R to hide the Diadem. 

Cunning. 

Cunning means having or showing skill in achieving one's ends by deceit or evasion. 

This can be shown when Harry and Ron (in the CoS) were going to Moaning Myrtles bathroom when Harry made the quick excuse saying that they were visiting Hermione in the hospital wing. 

“Having or showing skill in achieving one’s end by deceit or evasion” 

And he was supposed to be in Slytherin! 

Independence is clearly not an issue when it comes to Harry. 

He was alone for ten years and he didn’t turn out half bad! 

He spent ten years alone and in CoS and GoF he spent them years almost completely alone. He clearly doesn’t mind being alone (as seen through the series as a whole). 

“The cat is a fascinating animal that cultures around the world have long revered.” 

“The boy who lived is a fascinating person that cultures around the world have long revered.” 

I CANT MAKE THIS STUFF UP IT JUST FITS SO PERFECTLY!!!! 

“They are agile and nimble, able to move with silence and stealth”

in the CoS he tells Fred and George when they’re picking the lock to his cupboard to get his wizard stuff that the bottom step creaks. It seems he understands how to to be silent in the Dursleys house at all times. 

In Ps he says something like he wished he nicked one of Dudley’s watches so he knew when the Dursleys were asleep so he could sneak into the kitchen. 

He clearly knows this house inside and out to know what time, the exact time, the Dursleys go to bed. 

Nimble is an easy one too. As seen in reason cunning fits him.

Nimble means along the lines of quick thinking. 

As seen beautifully presented to us when Snape wants to see Harry’s potions book after what happened in the bathroom with malfoy (when he almost killed him). 

Harry quickly asks ron if he could Borrow his potions book.

“Rooni Wizlab?” 

“That’s my nickname.” 

And goes on to explain what a nickname is. 

“choosing to live on their own terms.” 

I don’t think I even need to say anything about this because that’s just the definition of Harry James Potter there. 

In conclusion: 

Harry’s Patronus is a stag because he loves his dad and his animagus is a Black Cat okay goodbye

[llannasvsp]

i literally ADORE the movie. maybe it's because it gave lloyd the social anxiety that i always hc'd him with... but yea i rewatch it wayyy too often. it's so good.

however, i do agree with the majority of people that movie zane is absolute nightmare fuel. him being voiced by zach woods is also really jarring for me considering he plays gabe lewis in the office (i do not like gabe lewis).

question. do the majority of people still hate the ninjago movie. or has the general consensus shifted to a neutral or perhaps positive opinion.

i personally enjoy the movie ... ive never entirely understood the stigma around it, considering its entirely disconnected from the show.. it isnt doing the characters a disgrace or something. its like an au

[delululover]

I just love how the "Only Friends" team gave us so many spoilers but still managed to clown us and keep us in the dark.

I mean from the so many contents we got during the filming time we all had an idea in mind about each couple's dynamic

For instance I myself thought

TopMew are gonna be the sweet boyfriends going on dates, having fun, having healthy conversations when in reality they are barely talking, Top sees Mew mostly as a prize/challenge, Both are fighting for the power dominance in the relationship, they don't have any trust on eo, Mew is determined to do the "right thing" by offering his affection as a reward for quitting addiction which we all know never works. Their relationship in overall is a mess with just a "boyfriends" tag which is kind of blinding both them and the people around them from seeing how not good for eo they are

SandRay are gonna be the friends to lovera type of couples where one is totally sure about his feelings and the other ia clueless but refuses to let go of their "friendship" and acts like a possessive cat whenever someone tries to get with his "friend" (I may even be correct with this prediction)

BostonNick I thought will be the couple we will see the least of, won't have much plot to their relationship except sex and Boston will totally ignore Nick out of bed which (Idc if anyone disagrees) he is not, Boston is totally leading Nick on emotionally and we are seeing fair share of their scenes, infact if anything they are the creators of most of the drama in the series and their mess is probably gonna take the longest to solve. Definitely not a short running pair and has a lot of things going on in their "situationship" or whatever.

So as the episodes are coming out I am eventually realising that what we saw/the source of our assumptions were all based on the first few episodes. They gave nothing away and spoiled next to nothing. I am totally clueless about what is going to happen after episode 5.

And yeah don't say that "well your fault for thinking they will give everything away before the original episodes release" I am not saying that they will or they should. But the amount of "ongoing shoot" content we were getting I was a biiiit confident that I have figured out the show. Ik very arrogant of me but that's the thing the Western film industry is so secretive about their projects that it makes us think that getting some behind the scenes will be able to spoil the fun for us.

Anyways kudos to the team for this amazing marketing. They are literally keeping me on the edge of my seat.

Ps I am quite new in this bl fandom and ofts is the first show I have fully been invested in so that's why is amazes me. Most of you probably find this post stupid and old news. Please ignore if you do thanku.

[keibea]

15 Questions for 15 Mutuals

Is everyone sick of learning random facts about me yet? Yes? Well, here we go again, cause I LOVE THEM. Thank you @vmsims23 , @nectar-cellar and @johziii for tagging me, you all know me too well.

Are you named after anyone? LOL nope, I honestly wish I was. Jessica was the only name my parents could agree on BAHHAHA.

When was the last time you cried? Monday 🙃I had a painful exam experience.

Do you have kids? Nope and thank goodness for that because I can barely take care of myself BAHAHHA.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? Oh yeah, I'm terrible. Not as much as I used to I don't think though, but often WHOOPS.

What sports do you play/have you played? I was forced to play a lot for school, as I think most people were. The ones I can remember the most clearly are netball (I was let on the team out of necessity I think), bocce (because we could all get away with sitting around most of the time and occasionaly rolling the balls), zumba (it was mostly just dance which was SICK), and ballet (if that counts??) is the one I stuck with the longest and the only one I chose to wilingly do myself.

What’s the first thing you notice about other people? Hair or smile. I'm not quite sure. One of those I think.

Scary movies or happy endings? No scary movies for me, nope. I'm horribly paranoid, I will start checking my wardorbe. Happy endings ALL THE WAY. Genuinely I will only watch a movie and read a book if I know it has a happy ending idc YES IM ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE.

Any special talents? Depends on what you define as a special talent. So I don't know if this counts, but I am weirdly a natural at baking??? Definitely not freestyle but if I follow a recipe (which I always do because I like doing things in order) it always turns out really well. So I guess that's just following a recipe, but I like to think I'm special and naturally talented at baking. My mum always finishes my baking off though because I get bored halfway through whoops and she genrally always helps me because I'm terrible with the oven so tbh maybe it's just mum that's talented.

Where were you born? AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE, OI, OI, OI 🦘

What are your hobbies? Sims, sims, also sims, reading about early Victorian fashion, reading about the Victorian era, reading and that's probably it.

Do you have any pets? I have a beautiful little cat named Mikey. He is my best cat friend (and tbh, best friend in general) and I love him very much.

How tall are you? My father says I'm very short, and calls me a worm (both said affectionately I should add), so I assume pretty short. In terms of numbers though, not a clue. I believe I'm average-ish height for a woman, maybe a bit shorter.

Fave subject in school? HISTORY ALL THE WAY. Mostly modern history, purely because I love the Victorian era, but I do enjoy ancient history as well.

Dream job? Fashion historian! That or an author of historical fiction OR a book on early Victorian women's fashion.

Eye colour? I like to call them swamp green, but my mum would disagree, so I'll say green.

I shall annoy @lazysunjade , @amuhav , @thesimperiuscurse (oh yes you bet I am @ ing people who are inactive and who also never do these things, I am 100% that sort of person), @akioakashiya , @itssimplythesims , @lifewithmysims , @elderwisp , @happy-lemon , @servospawn , @tau1tvec , @bunmou , @stinkrascal , @cozygirlsimmer , @moonsonnet , @doka-chan

Please forgive/ignore me if you hate doing this sort of thing, or if you've been tagged and done it already, and wow thank you all for being my mutuals I didn't know I had so many amazing people following me back LETS GOOOO

[c1airidryl]

Idc what anyone says, Stalking Cat was so damn beautiful! It's amazing the way we can modify our bodies, it's so liberating to truly customize yourself like that! RIP

[andro-dino]

shogun steel main gang hcs bc I’m thinking about them atm and how much I love them

- I’ve said this a billion times before but I’ll keep saying it until I die, they are very affectionate with each other. Of course, it depends on the specific people and how their feeling at certain times, but they will take any opportunity to cuddle or hold hands or just generally have some kind of contact with each other for comfort. idc if this is ooc canon is what I make of it

- Ren and kite bonding over being petty third wheels to Zyro and Shinobu is an idea that is so important to me you have no idea. They will argue with each other and be dumb any other time but instantly bond over hating on those two being losers

- This is one of my hyper specific projection moments but ren specifically any time she sees them being remotely affectionate to each other at all will immediately turn to the nearest person and go “get a load of these guys”

- underrated duo dynamic is ren and takanosuke being wlw mlm rivals/besties/gossip buddies. you just know they share the most scalding of tea while training with each other

- actually I just really appreciate their dynamic as a whole. they’re both very ambitious and headstrong bladers who are constantly working their hardest to grow and improve and I think they’d really bring out the best in each other. They have some great friendly banter thrown in there too. neither of them are afraid to throw in some really funny disses

- maru is such a creechur I really cannot appreciate that enough. she has adopted everyone as a big sibling and there’s nothing they can do to stop it, she just perched on their shoulder one day and there was nothing they could do to stop it

- the only exception to this is with kite and eight, because eight and maru are like two cats who don’t like each other being mutually stanced up and staring each other down in anticipation for one of them to pounce

- eight once was showing off a bunch of skateboard tricks and Zyro was like “psh that’s easy I could do that” and immediately ate shit and died and eight laughed at him for hours and has never let him live it down since

- kite likes to pretend he doesn’t care about any of them but takes really careful notice of their likes and dislikes and makes sure to accommodate for everyone when he can and gives them really banger gifts on special occasions but frames it as him being like “I know I know I can make and find such amazing things that’s just how it is for mr perfect” and the others are like “kite holy shit this is so kind of you thank you so much????” and he tries really really hard to pretend like he doesn’t really enjoy hearing that

- sakyo does not know how to interact with any of the main gang on his own outside of beyblade but he and taka are a package deal so he tends to tag along whenever takanosuke hangs out with any of them and he’s like the awkward cousin at a family party who just sits in the corner silently bc he doesn’t know how to approach anyone

- I think it would be funny if eight randomly started hanging out with him in that way that little kids do when they just decide they like you all of a sudden and sakyo just has no idea how to deal with that but ig he’s got a snarky little dude hanging out with him now and asking if he’s got any games on his phone

- benkei does not hide the fact that ren is his favorite child. he loves all of his kids dearly but ren is his daughter and hes very attached because he sees a lot of himself in her and wants her to be less dumb than he was when he was younger (may or may not be drawing a comic with this exact premise atm)

- this one’s kind of off track but I’ve thought abt it a lot in the past and started thinking abt it again. Kenta takes a shining to sakyo and kinda takes a bit of a mentor role over him accidentally and at some point Sakyo’s like “you act like you’re so much older than me but our age gap isn’t even that big (bc I hc sakyo as like 15-16 and ss Kenta as 18-19)” and Kenta’s like “well yeah but im the adult here?? I kinda just figured???” idk it’s just a neat dynamic I like a lot

- Shinobu and Ren go clothes shopping together. Ren likes spending Shinobu’s money and they bond over what they like, stuff they could share if they wanted to, and also shit talking stuff they think is ugly

- all of them get in really stupid arguments over the dumbest things. they’ve had big group debates over which flavor of ice cream is the best or whether or not cilantro tastes like soap

that is all for now they r very important to me thank you and goodnight

[smol-grey-tea]

top 5 non-dateable (no route, not a LI) cheritz characters?

Ooooh nice question, let's think :0 what are all the Cheritz characters who don't have routes? 🤔ᴴᴹ

Well, in Dandelion, we've got Heejung and Heejae, then in Nameless, we've got Eri, Soi, Shinbi, Zion, Hobin, Yujin and the school Principal. For Mystic Messenger, you've got Rika and Vanderwood and some useless other characters like Echo Girl. And idk too much about Ssum, but I think the only no datable characters I know are Angel and June's relatives

Technically, both Heejung and Eri have routes since they have the common routes, but idc. But that is why I'm counting the Wizard and Nameless as dateable characters. So on w the ranking!!

1. Eri

I love Eri just so fucking much, she's so cute and relatable and autistic and aroacespec and oh my god. I've never related to anyone more than her and I'd have chosen her name if not for wanting a more masculine name like Link. But oh my god, Eri is such a good name tho..

She's such a good main character as well. I love her story and her journey so much and I love her design and everything and aaaaaa-

2. Heejung

What can I say, I love a good main character. I think it's such a shame tbh, Cheritz is so good at making main characters, it's unfortunate they never made any more proper ones for Mystic or Ssum

I don't remember Dandelion too well but I do still love Heejung so much. She is literally just doing what she can and all this shit just keeps piling on top of her n then she keeps just trucking on. I love it

3. I'm gonna have to say. The Principal

He's so funny and sweet and chill. I think he actually knows way more than he lets on

He does have such huge potential that wasn't explored, I wish we could see more of his relationship w Eri, how he looked after her after her grandpa died and acted as the only responsible and reliable adult in her life while she was alone before the dolls came to life

I like him. He kinda reminds me of Winnie the Pooh

4. Shinbi

Beautiful. Effervescent. Gorgeous. Amazing

Pretty. Great friend

5. John the Cat

(*ˊᗜˋ*)ᵗᑋᵃᐢᵏ ᵞᵒᵘ for asking!!!!!! 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊 tough question!!!!! :)

[bogwitchmediaconsumption]

hi ok been EVEN more months haha oopsies

ok i kinda didn't know what to put on this blog because i started getting way too obsessed with superheroes and stopped consuming as much dw(i still love it but like... superheroes are so COOL) so i thought that in order to keep this thing updated, i'd just expand my horizons by porting over my big media watch/read/play/listen list! this is gonna be a massive post of everything so far, and then new updates will be new pieces of media! everything listed in order(and some brief thoughts)

Batman: The Court of Owls - Snyder/Capullo (Great!) Batman: The Court of Owls Vol 2/The City of Owls - Snyder/Capullo (Alright...)

Batman: The Night of Owls - Snyder/Capullo (Meh, but I had incorrect expectations)

Inscryption(Fucking phenomenal, play this bizarre ass game)

Doctor Who Series 2(Very good!)

Much Ado About Nothing - Shakespeare, a reading (Loved this one)

Neon Genesis Evangelion - The Original Show (yeah this was a fixation for a while too)

Undertale (really good, but not as loved for me as others)

Julius Caesar, a reading - Shakespeare (Good one Billy)

Donmar Warehouse Production of Julius Caesar (go women go)

A Page of Madness - 1926 Movie (makes no sense but hell yeah)

Legend of Zelda Oracle of Ages (God this game frustrated me so much)

As You Like It, a reading - Shakespeare (I think I remember which play this is)

Howl, and Other Poems - Allen Ginsberg (Liked this one! Howl is the strongest by a lot though)

Lunch Poems - Frank O'Hara (Very cool!)

Rewatch of Over The Garden Wall (god this show is so fucking incredible)

Everything Everywhere All At Once - 2022 Movie (my movie of the year so far, it's beautiful)

Words Bubble Up Like Soda Pop - 2021 Movie (Cute! but it's not much more than that)

Cat Soup - 2003 Short Film (Awesome but also What the Fuck?)

Swamp Thing Vol. 1: The Root of All Evil - Millar/Hester/Morrison

Cat Soup Rewatch (Had to share with a friend)

Bee and Puppycat Season 1 (Adorable!! so lovely and cute)

Everything Everywhere All At Once Rewatch (had to get a friend to see it for the first time)

Bee and Puppycat Season 1 Rewatch (Ok don't judge me)

The Residents: Triple Trouble - 2022 Movie (idk how to start with this one)

Watchmen - Moore/Gibbons (got some nitpick gripes with the ending: but it's fucking brilliant)

Neon Genesis Evangelion: The End of Evangelion (Really good! Better ending than the show)

Leonor - 1975 Movie (nothing quite like a theatre yelling "jump off the bridge")

Smiling Friends Season 1 (I knew a lot of the jokes going it, but it's still gutbusting)

Sir Gawain and the Green Knight (get his ass Gawain, or get yours got, I guess)

Bless The Daughter Raised by A Voice in Her Head - Warsan Shire (a couple really standout poems in a mostly just ok volume. if this one comes across as harsh, i had to analyze this for 3+ weeks for class)

Adventure Time Season 1 (it's my roommate's favorite show, i'd never seen it)

Doctor Who: The Heralds of Destruction - Cornell/Jones (it's good, with material that does hold, but it's not any spectacular)

Batman & Robin - 1997 Movie (Awful, but also not that)

Super Mario Bros - 1993 Movie (This shit slaps, idc what anyone else says)

Neon Genesis Evangelion: Volumes 1-3 - Yoshiyuki Sadamoto (It's good on it's own, but it's especially interesting as an adaptation of the show)

JLA: Earth 2 - Morrison/Quitely (I really like it, but also wish it was longer)

Adventure Time Season 2(still cute!)

The Amazing Spider-Man: Edge of Spider-Verse - lotsa people (They're mostly fine Spider introductions with the man-spider guy one being notably bad and Peni's being notably good)

Adventure Time Season 3 (fun, I started getting really into the show at this point)

Adventure Time Season 4 (fun, still ramping on excitement)

Adventure Time Season 5 (good, but maybe my least favorite season. just a lot of sadder episodes in this one)

Fahrenheit 451 - 2018 Film (it sucks. also they should've been gay. but what do I know)

Ariel - Sylvia Plath (yeah ok cut out my heart why don't you)

Legend of Zelda Majora's Mask - Akira Himekawa (very fun interpretation of the story! but i wish it was a bit longer)

Legend of Zelda Oracle of Seasons (I like this one more than ages, but not by much)

Scott Pilgrim Comic Reread, All 6 Volumes - Bryan Lee O'Malley (I still love it and find a LOAD in it, despite it's occasional drastically poor choice in language or implication

Le Mani Sulla Citta - 1963 Film (god i could watch italian guys argue all day) watched between Scott Pilgrim Volumes 1 and 2 but I wanted to keep it neat

Adventure Time Season 6(maybe my favorite season? either this one or season 7)

Dracula Ballet - Milwaukee Ballet Company (Good show! read the book first or it won't make a lick of sense)

Robo Sapiens: Tales of Tomorrow - Toranosuke Shimada (very very cool, super interesting almost a little martian chronicles esque)

Murder On The Orient Express - 2017 Film (very fun and interesting movie to watch: should be noted i've never read the book)

Adventure Time Season 7 (on rereading episode lists, this one is probably my easy favorite. so many good ones)

Pokemon Blue (i was trying to do a generationlocke, you see)

Never Open It: The Taboo Trilogy - Ken Niimura (really really good, the art is especially great in this one)

Pokemon Crystal (see?)

Pokemon Emerald (SEE???)

Adventure Time Season 8 (Great, but the beginning of a slight downward trend in my enjoyment of the show. it becomes more plot focused than character focused here, and that did make it a bit less fun. still great though)

Loveless - Alice Oseman (I love a lot of her books, and I love this one too! but for some reason it just doesn't strike me as fully satisfying and i don't know why)

Pokemon Firered Omega (SEE???? also i wanted to add romhacks to make it harder)

Adventure Time Season 9 (some really good character moments, but it is even more plot focused here)

Spiderman: Into The Spider-Verse - 2018 Film (holy fuck this movie is incredible, maybe just as loved as EEAAO?)

The Complete Maus - Art Spiegelman (really good! art is great, and the metanarrative is super interesting)

Pokemon Blue (I died)

Time Guardian Volume 1 - Kishi/Ichinose (it's fun, but nothing really beyond that)

Pokemon Blue (guess who died again)

Adventure Time Season 10 (finally did it! the most plot focused of the last seasons, and thus it's maybe the least memorable to me. still really good though)

Spiderman: Across The Spider-Verse - 2023 Movie (it's great, but not quite as good as the first because it doesn't stand-alone. chock full of the best visuals, voicing, and story of the year though)

Pokemon Crystal (ok....)

Pokemon Emerald (uh huh......)

Ghost in the Shell - 1995 Film (Really weird and interesting and pretty! I liked it)

Knives Out - 2019 Film (it's very good, especially because of the family banter and performances. without it's cast it would probably not be so great. though the plotting does come together in the end for me)

The Spectacular Spider-Man Season 1 (oh my GOD this show is so good)

Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery (it's good, but I really love to see the detective/criminal battle of wits in mystery/detective movies and that's really not what this movie is)

Snow, Glass, Apples - Gaiman/Doran (interesting take of a fairy tale!)

Punisher 2099 #1 (it's ok)

Punisher 2099 #2 (it's also ok, neither here nor there)

Batman: Fear State - Tynion IV/Jimenez (I do like it, but i wish it placed more character moments front and center. it also tries to juggle SO many damn characters, and a lot of them just feel like cameos)

Shin Godzilla - 2016 Film (you can TELL that the evangelion team worked on this, it rocks. also the movie is very good)

A Field In England - 2013 Film (it's interesting, and weird, but maybe not anything special quality wise)

The Mexican Night - Lawrence Ferlinghetti (spongebob screaming meme I LOVE READING JOURNALS. I LOVE HEARING NOTHING BUT YOUR THOUGHTS AS YOU GO ABOUT YOUR DAY)

Vern, Custodian of the Universe - Tyrell Waiters (it's cool, and the visuals are great, but the plot is not especially good and it starts to lose what makes it interesting later on)

Barbie - 2023 Film (hilarious, incredible)

Beowulf Graphic Novel - Petrucha/Chamberlain (an interesting take on Beowulf, the art is great![no, i don't know how many times i'm gonna keep saying it either])

Bloom - Panetta/Ganucheau (it's cute and good, but it doesn't go into enough detail or character depth to stick with me)

Inferno - Hickman/Caselli (it's like. alright. it's mostly a political thriller, which is not what i was hoping for when i got it at the library. that's one thing, but i also don't think it's an especially good political thriller. I also don't think it knows where it's going really. i still don't know where it was going and i read the ending and everything.)

Pokemon Blue(it had to all come crashing down eventually, right?)

Cucumber Quest: The Doughnut Kingdom - Gigi D.G. (it's cute and charming! not a lot here beyond that)

20,000 Leagues Under the Sea - 1954 Movie (it's engaging and interesting, but i'm not sure what to think critically. good? bad? i kinda don't know. also it's disney in the 50's, there's some gratuitous racism)

Porco Rosso - 1992 Film (the whole "oooh fio likes porco" thing makes me a little uncomfy, but besides that the movie is BALLER. go porco go)

The Golem: How He Came Into The World - 1920 Film (it's interesting, but it's not as enjoyable as stuff like Caligari or Page of Madness)

Superman: For All Seasons - Loeb/Sale (oh my GOD this rocks. so good, so down to earth, so enjoyable. i love this)

All-Star Superman - Morrison/Quitely (I really like this a lot, but I do feel it kinda is off base with what's appealing about Superman to me. it takes Superman and really spins him as a mythical god level figure, to the point where Lois refuses to believe he's Clark and... what the story is is very good. but Superman being regular ol' Clark at the end of the day is what makes him so wonderful to me. This is absolutely a Superman that pretends to be Clark Kent. feel like that's a big distinction. lex's characterization is PHENOMENAL though, SO good.)

And now... my most recent watch............

yeah ok it's more superman

My Adventures with Superman Season 1 (it's phenomenal. like spectacular spider-man levels of good. The voicing, animation, designs, writing, it's ALL here. the overarching plot is also particularly capturing in this show, which sometimes fails to be the case for some superhero shows! i will say that i start to dislike SOME elements of the overarching plot introduced in Ep. 7 and beyond, but they don't diminish my love of this show very much at all. cannot WAIT for season 2 foaming at the mouth, chomping, zinging around my room etc)

alright! so that just took me like an hour and a half. but that kinda stuff is what i think i wanna do with this blog for now! so if that's your cup of tea keep hanging around! and if it's not... well there's always a chance i decide to change it again so idk your call.

[two-sides-samecoin]

Okay so for Steve Harrington childhood headcanons here are mine:

He was left home alone from a very young age. Possibly starting around the time he met Tommy in like 2nd grade (my sister said the book said that).

He always wanted a younger sibling but his parents never gave him one because having him did not fix their marriage like they intended.

His parents bought his forgiveness alot.

Tommy, Carol, and him weren't always like they were in season 1 (i.e bullies) and only became that way around middle school.

He, Tommy, and Carol bonded over their less than stellar home lives and the fact they are all only children to my knowledge.

Tommy and Carol know Steve better than most people.

He still misses them at times (because come on, this is Steve. And idc what anyone says, drifting away from someone you've been friends with for years is PAINFUL even if it was for the best).

He always wanted a pet.

He, Tommy, and Carol as all unsupervised children do, got up to alot of wild ass Shenanigans.

Which usually had to do with filling the pool up with stuff.

They don't talk about the shampoo swimming incident of '75.

They also don't talk about the hair dye Incident of '81.

On a side note, Steve completely banned hair dye in his house and refuses to ever dye his hair again without professional after said incident.

Steve, Tommy, and Carol spent most of their elementary school to sophomore years having impromptu sleepovers.

Where again, they got up to wild and dangerous stunts. Hopper was clapped more than once.

What are your headcanons?

Okay I fucking love all of these 💜💜💜💜. They are amazing!

Ohhh I didn’t realize that that it was in the book about the first headcanon but that’s actually so sad for him. But also high key agree with this like he probs was just left home alone a lot.

I love this thought of him wanting a sibling cuz it makes the end where he finds dustin and the kids soo much sweeter. Like he wanted a sibling for so long and now he’s hanging around kids that could be sibling age for him. And just being their friend/whatever the fuck he is to them lol.

Ohhh I love him wanting a pet. Personally I have a headcanon where he once found a stray cat in his neighborhood and named it Socks cuz the color of the paws looked like socks.

Oh tommy and carol and steve def got up to the most wackiest shenanigans ever! Which I love all the headcanons you come up with about them!! It’s so unique and I love it! Also the headcanons you sent just made me die with laughter cuz they’re aooo goood!

My headcanons: honestly I have so many lol that idk what to put here. So I’m just gonna say: Steve has many complicated feelings surrounding his home (however that majorly amplifies when the whole ud thing happens). Like I think he would love staying in his house but also hate it cuz of his parents ya know?

[everybody-loves-purdy]

Idc what anyone says the scene where the kin is fleeing the clans and then riverclan fucking rises out of the water/skyclan start jumping on them from the trees is SO badass. Genuinely one of my favorite warrior cats scenes ever i wish there were maps of it

I absolutely love that scene it’s so good, it’s so underrated like it barely gets talked about?!

It’s just so cool how they all attack in accordance to their names and traditions, and then RiverClan literally rising out the lake is just so good!

I really really love that battle and it’s a shame that just no one talks about it?

People who completely skip avos really are missing out the first half is genuinely amazing, with shattered sky just being the perfect way that arc should have ended rather than carrying on for 3 more books.

[water-petal]

Ya know what, I've come to be fond of both Sakura and sasusaku!

They are so cute!!! ^W^

And idc what anyone says Sakura and Hinata are the best strongest females in Naruto *#*!!!

(I was too lazy to look for a Sakura panel '~' so i have only this....)

My cat is a giga chad so my opinion is facts and >>>>yours

yes absolutely yes both are amazing female characters just ignore the fandom you will be fine

and yes look at this ultimate chad cat, even chadder than the gigachad

[cavinginhisfvce]

rip billy hargrove u would've loved corpse husband </3

[dios-favourite-simp]

Cuddling Headcanons

Spooning spooning spooning spooning

Generally he prefers to be big spoon, he loves how small you are in comparison, how snugly your head fits under his chin. His arm rests heavy atop you, his hand gently cupping the back of your head. He's huge, and loves to press you into his chest.

He's still warm idc what anyone says - he bleeds, he emits body heat I will die on this hill

He probably won't sleep when you cuddle, he doesn't really have a need to, but sometimes he might.

this is like a cat showing its belly, he'd only sleep when guarded by one of his minions outside the door, but it shows that he trusts you

Dio doesn't mind being little spoon although you'd basically be like a backpack (squeez his boobs)

Other times when he's reading or just letting you sleep he'll lay you on his chest and wrap an arm around you. He enjoys stroking your head like a little dog.

Tiddies, they are big and soft, pillows to rest your head on

and he encourages this

he knows his tiddies are amazing

He reads to you too

Just laying on his chest and hearing his voice, lulled by the feeling of it resonating through his body, is enough to send you to sleep in minutes

though you'd rather stay awake just to bask in the comfort of laying on him

when he's relaxed he's like a big pillow.

He loves to put his hands all over you, so even when you're not being sexual he'll still be grabby as ever.

his hands are nice though, big and warm, his claws are perfect for gently massaging your scalp

Dio's not especially cuddly, but when he is expect to not move for hours. He secretly enjoys holding onto you, although he'd never admit it

[romiantic]

𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐑𝐈𝐍 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐎𝐊𝐀

❛ 𝐫𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐨𝐤𝐚 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐬/𝐨 ❜

[ 𝖱𝖨𝖭 𝖬𝖠𝖳𝖲𝖴𝖮𝖪𝖠 𝖷 𝖡𝖫𝖠𝖢𝖪!𝖥𝖤𝖬!𝖱𝖤𝖠𝖣𝖤𝖱 ]

✰ 𝗚𝗘𝗡𝗥𝗘 + 𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦: fluff + no warnings

✰ 𝗔/𝗡: i have nothing for free and atp it’s making me mad

⤷ Your number one FAN when it comes to hair, each and every time you get your hair done and your hair is out in its natural state that boy is ON YOU. Rin finds your hair something so extravagant and a masterpiece, especially when it goes from messy braids to a beautiful fro or when you still many choices of colors and styles of wigs, it just amazes him

⤷ Everything about you Rin just LOVES, from your curly/coily fro down to the tip of your brown toes, you’re one of the most beautiful people that have entered his life

⤷ Dating Rin would have to be a mixture of excitement, compassion, and late night talks

⤷ Especially late night talks, from how Rin life went, his friendships, leaving and moving back to Japan, becoming one of the top swimmers, sometimes Rin needs a break and you offering an ear to listen just soothes him

⤷ Also, Rin is VERY affectionate around you, in public he’s a bit sheepish. Don’t get me wrong, if he’s feeling good for a competition, he’ll give you a kiss before heading to his heat

⤷ DATES. every. single. week. Anytime he doesn’t have a competition, he takes you out and surprisingly enough he’s very creative whenever it comes to dates, from nice walks around town to a classy date and crashing a wedding

⤷ Not to mention but the both of you are ALWAYS looking fashionable whenever you are out, ever since you showed Rin to streetwear, this boy never looked back. Plus, every single check that boy gets from swimming, he’s ALWAYS spending it on some shoes for you and him. Rin is a sneakerhead idc idc

⤷ If you two aren’t on a date, it’s a chill night with music playing in background or a movie night that ends up with one of you sleeping on another’s lap. If you’re sleeping on his lap, he plays with your curls/coils until he falls asleep himself

⤷ Did I mention this boy have IMMACULATE taste with music? Rin’s music choices expands well and it never fails, one day he’s listening to Snoh Alegra and the next he’s listening to Doja Cat’s new single

⤷ If you’re in college, Rin is actually helpful when it comes to studies, well he tries. It takes him time to get an idea of the topic but once he does he’s on a ROLL

⤷ Optional but more than likely you’re gonna be friends with his friends, especially Sousuke, Haru, Makoto and Nagisa. They impacted his life heavily so of course you’re gonna meet the important people in his life

⤷ The two of you are always doing those cute couple trends on tiktok. Speaking of, the both of you SPAM each other with tiktoks

⤷ Spooning>>> Rin doesn’t mind being the big or little spoon, but mostly favors being the bigger spoon

⤷ CUDDLES, CUDDLES, CUDDLES 24/7, it’s never day where the two of you aren’t in each other arms

⤷ BONUS: your “song” would be pov by ariana grande

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @blackweebtrash @tsumusitadori @asaincy @morosis-haze @thechinadoll @kentania

if you would like to be added onto the taglist, fill out the form on my navi or let me know in my inbox !!

✰ FINALLY posted something for free, tired of seeing “nothing yet !” there mmcht

✰ omg please send free requests cause I actually wanna get some stuff out

✰ hope you guys enjoyed <33

bye babes, drink your water, stay hydrated, and remember that you are the baddest bitch on the planet 🥰 no matter what ANYONE says

𝟐 𝐂𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝟏:𝟑-𝟓 💗

FREE! MASTERLIST ✰ MAIN MASTERLIST

© 𝟤𝟢𝟤𝟣 𝗄𝗈𝗂𝗌𝗁𝗂𝗀𝗎𝗋𝗈. 𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍𝗌 𝗋𝖾𝗌𝖾𝗋𝗏𝖾𝖽

[fire-but-ashes-too]

thank youuuu!!

i think i did one with one of my OCs over here (please check it out im really proud of it eheh) but never done this for myself!

*cracks knuckles* here we goooo

are you named after anyone?

yes and no, i just so coincidentially happen to be named after my maternal great grandmother, tho it wasn't intended (at least, not that i know of)

when's the last time you cried?

a few nights ago after i woke up from a nightmare where i had a spider on my feet biting me. dont ask. i panicked.

do you have kids?

nope and i dont intend on having any.

do you use sarcasm?

every day. as much as i can. my beloved sarcasm <3

what's the first thing you notice about people?

not the first thing i notice probably, but the one i remember more vividly, is the voice. i have a sound memory (is that how you call it? i cant remember) so i do this thing sometimes when im bored where i say the same sentence in my head over and over, each time in a different person's voice.

what's your eye color?

very boring brown. my right eye has slightly more greenish tones in it tho.

scary movies or happy endings?

uhmmmmm nice question id also like to know. no idea, it varies from time to time, as long as it's good idc. (rewatching rw&rb for the second time atm hehe)(why did i notice just now that in the red room scene the portrait behind alex while he's waiting for henry is ALEXANDER HAMILTON??? my internal theatre kid is screaming)

any special talents?

I HAVE DOUBLE JOINTED FINGERS. MY THUMB CAN GO UP AND DOWN AND APPARENTLY ITS SCARY BUT ITS SO FUN. and i can bend my fingers more than normal.

i also have a very quick memory and can loop my tongue.

where were you born?

here where i live, in verona :)

what are your hobbies?

an infinite moltitude of things. too many to count.

painting, drawing, writing (duh), reading, doing absolutely nothing, crocheting, doing clay stuff, baking/cooking, making plans on how to jump out of a winfdow in case lessons get too boring, learning progressively concerning and detailed facts about literally anything, acting and watching musicals. that's all that comes to mind rn.

do you have any pets?

none sadly, i've wanted a cat for a very long time, then a rabbit, a hamster, a fish, etc. my parents were always either allergic or against having a pet so i never had one.

any sport you play/played?

im an aerialst! i do aerial silks and aerial hoop and i like to think im pretty good at it (modesty aside its probably the first sport i've ever really been great at so.. yeah.)

when i was little i tred volleyball (a disaster), gymnastics (again, a failure), swimming (not bad but i didn't like it that much), skiing (i only went on winter break tho, and i absolutely despised it, although i won a couple races) and... yeah that's all i've done more than a couple lessons at.

how tall are you?

1,60. short. i think.. 5.2? i use the metric system sorry haha

what's your favourite subject?

uhhhh probably history... yeah. it's the only subject that the more you go into it the more interesting it gets, and it doesnt really grow harder like maths you know.

what's your dream job?

definetly acting. the idea of telling stories by becoming part of the story feels so amazing to me.

the ultimate-dream™️ is acting in a film/series based on a book. the fact that someone views and pictures you as a fictional character, as a character people read about, and talked about... best thing ever.

that's it! thank you so much for reading this far :D

gently tagging @holdmyteaplease @the-chaotic-writer @alhyastarain @jaxypaxyhaxy @dancinginsepia @a-k-oblackhat @ember-writer @justremuslupininamask @ashwithapen @aspiringfictionwriter @yesireadbooks @guessillcallitart @mychemicalwhatever

15 Questions 15 Mutuals

@kaiarchives tagged me in this game that I haven't had the pleasure of seeing before, so that's exciting. The rules are: Answer the 15 questions and tag 15 of your mutuals.

1. Are you named after anyone?

No.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Last Sunday. I don't think it was for any particular reason, I just had a headache and was feeling down.

3. Do you have kids?

No.

4. What sports do you play/have played?

I played a bit of a football as a kid and a bit of volleyball for school. I also did range shooting in my tween years.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Quite a lot. I've been trying to cut back and be a bit more genuine, but my habit for being sarcastic and my generally low moods have given me a bit of Resting Bitch Voice, so people don't always pick up on it.

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Facial shape I think. Before I learn someone's name I generally remember them by the shape of their jaw and cheeks.

7. What's your eye color?

Blue, but it's a kinda greyish blue.

8. Scary movies or Happy endings

I like scary movies with happy endings. Give me protagonists who face down with the worst of humanity or the nasties of the world and come out alive and swinging, if not a bit traumatized.

9. Any talents?

I'm told I have a way with words. In general I don't believe in talent in the "innate skill" way though.

10. Where were you born?

Oslo, Norway.

11. What are your hobbies?

Writing, reading, movies, video games (mostly strategy and roguelikes,) I used to sing in a choir and I kind of want to get back into that.

12. Do you have any pets?

No. Haven't really had the opportunity to, but I'd like to get a dog someday.

13. How tall are you?

178 cm, so... what, 5'10?

14. Favorite subject in school

Language and it's not close at all. Social Sciences as a second place I suppose.

15. Dream Job?

Author. Give me a way to live from writing and I'll churn out books at a brazen clip. It might drive me crazy, but it'll be worth it.

As for the tags: @frostedlemonwriter @shay-puppitty @longwuzhere @indigostudies @an-elegant-void @mjjune @marlenadutch @fire-but-ashes-too @meerawrites @sparrowrising @silverslipstream @floweryprosegarden @the-secondborn-of-seven @chishiio @a-had-matter

[redgillan]

Under Pastel Skies - 6

Sugar daddy!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Modern!AU Bucky doesn’t need anyone, especially not a sugar baby. He isn’t that desperate… but she smiles so sweetly and she’s endearingly awkward, and he’s so lonely. She’s an artist, a painter, the type of person who always puts others before herself. Throwing caution to the wind Bucky offers her a place to live, a place where she can finally paint whatever her heart desires. He doesn’t need much in return; a friend, a muse.

Word Count: 4,327

Warnings: panic attacks, Bucky recalls his accident

A/N: I don’t have much to say, Bucky’s real emotional in this one. I hope you enjoy this chapter :’) 

Wannabe sugar daddies don’t interact, idc if you have money, eat it and leave me be.

Everywhere Bucky looked his eyes and ears were assaulted by a cacophony of sounds and colours. Red and green baubles hung from the ceiling, shimmering like disco balls and sending sparkles around the mall.

The air smelled like pine and cinnamon, something he usually liked, but it was so pungent and unpleasant that it made his stomach churn and bile rise up his throat. He tried to breathe through his mouth, forcing oxygen into his lungs.

Flashes of silver and gold momentarily blinded him, and as someone walked past him, their shopping bag knocked against his leg. It didn’t hurt but it made him seethe with misplaced anger. Beads of sweat broke out on the back of his neck.

Christmas carols played over the mall speakers, more specifically Jingle Bells which they played three times in less than an hour. Enough, enough, enough. He was suffocating, unable to breathe. He felt too big for his own skin, he needed to escape.

Then he felt your hand at the small of his back, guiding him toward what looked like a furniture store. He followed blindly, his vision blurry and unfocused, and sat down when you gently pushed him down onto a sofa.

Bucky shut his eyes and let his head fall back against the cushion. A woman came up and asked if you needed help but you told her that everything was fine. The buzzing in his ears made the voices around him strangely soothing, as if he was underwater. Now that he was sitting down, he felt a lot better.  

You didn’t try to touch him, something he was very grateful for. He could feel your weight shift next to him and knowing you were there was enough. He focused on you –your heat, your voice, the smell of your shampoo- and his breathing slowly returned to normal.

“Sorry,” he breathed out with a small smile, his head lolling to one side to look at you. “I ruined our shopping spree.”

The fear and panic had dissipated, leaving him cold, exhausted and craving skin to skin contact. He took your hand and linked your fingers together. Your hands were freezing cold.

“You didn’t ruin anything.”

He snorted. “Yeah, I did.” A sad smile curved his lips, he needed to change the subject. “Do you celebrate Christmas?”

You sank further into the sofa cushion sitting shoulder to shoulder, hand in hand.

“We celebrated so many different holidays,” you said. “Perks of growing up in a multicultural family. Christmas was wild though. One tree, five kids. That poor thing never stood a chance. Now I don’t really celebrate anything. December used to be so much fun, now it’s just not the same.”

“We should create our own holiday,” Bucky suggested, squeezing your hand.

“Aren’t you going to see your family?”

“Nah,” he replied with a yawn. “My sister is taking her kids somewhere warm, and my parents are traveling the country in their RV. You can invite your siblings if you want.”

“They’re not available.”

Bucky tried to decipher the expression on your face. Every time you talked about your siblings, you had a faraway look in your eyes, as though you were reliving a memory. He couldn’t tell what you were thinking but your face twisted into a painful grimace. Then suddenly it was gone.

“I want a tree.”

He watched you with a lazy smile. “I’ll get you a tree.”

You pulled him up to his feet and decided it was time to go home. Home. It still made Bucky weirdly warm inside when you called his apartment ‘home’. You crossed the mall, your arm looped through his as you walked, and took a cab to Brooklyn.

He almost fell asleep from the gentle rocking of the car moving through the streets of Manhattan. When he glanced at you, you were looking out your window watching the snow fall.

You’d been living together for almost two months now and Bucky couldn’t have picked a better roommate. He liked the way you sang in the shower, loud, cheerful and most definitely off-key. He liked that you had more pyjamas than every day clothes. He liked watching you paint from the living room, and it always made him laugh when you added weird things to his grocery list.

He could go to bed and sleep the whole night without waking up, feeling safer knowing someone else was there. Of course, not everything was perfect but it was close enough.

He woke up on the sofa a few hours later, still dressed and with a fluffy blanket thrown over him. The sun was setting, painting the sky with reds and oranges. He basked in the setting sun, a content smile on his face, before he sat up.

The TV was on, the volume low, and you were sitting cross-legged on the floor between the sofa and the coffee table going through a bunch of old photographs. Bucky looked around the room, taking in the new furniture and decor.

There was a comfortable armchair in front of the gas burning fireplace. Your book was resting on the seat of the armchair. You had also bought a lot of decorative pillows, some were pretty funny like the one that looked like a giant cookie.

“Whatcha doing?” he asked, his voice gruff with sleep.

You looked over your shoulder at him. “Hey, you’re awake! I bought some picture frames. I thought it’d make this place look less like a high end furniture store.”

“I liked it better when you thought this apartment was amazing.”

You laughed. “I still do, but it’s a bit... soulless.” You tilted your head back, looking at him upside down. “Sorry.”

“Gotta call a spade a spade,” he said, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “All right, well, while you do that I’m going to start dinner.”

He pushed off the sofa but you caught his wrist before he could leave. “I’m already done. I’ve left some frames for you.”

“I already have lots of pictures upstairs.”

“I know, but no one ever goes upstairs,” you replied, letting go of his wrist. “And you’re not in any of the photos.”

Bucky’s eyes were drawn to the picture you were holding. It must have been taken on the day of your high school graduation, you were dressed in a cap and gown, smiling with your whole face. He’d never seen you smile like that. He recognized Peggy Carter right away, her hair was more silver-white than brown and there were deep wrinkles around her eyes.

Your mom wasn’t looking at the camera, she was scolding the young man who was giving you bunny ears. The man was grinning mischievously at the camera. Bucky couldn’t tell how old he was, he appeared to be either twenty or fifty.

There were two other women wearing sundresses, one had long brown hair, the other had twisted her hair into Bantu knots. A young man with dyed silver hair and dark roots was squatting in front of you, his arms crossed over his chest à la Backstreet Boys.

“You should frame this one,” he said, sitting on the floor next to you.

You shrugged. “I don’t know. It makes me kinda sad.”

Bucky learned not to dwell on the past. It hadn’t been easy but it would have been impossible to heal without the support of his friends and family. Grief manifests itself in a number of ways, it’s raw and complex, and comes from your soul. 

Bucky had a deep love for his childhood, especially his college years, but while he would cherish this time forever, he had accepted that he was a different person. He wasn’t the same naïve, youthful man he used to be, and it wasn’t a bad thing.

But he also knew that some people live in the past. It makes them feel alive.

“Y’know,” he started, meeting your eyes with a smile. “My hair used to be pretty long. I think I still have some photos in a folder somewhere.”

You clasped your hands together in a silent prayer. “Bucky, I’m going to be honest with you,” you deadpanned. “I need to see those pictures. I need them now. It’s a matter of life and death.”

He rolled his eyes while he got to his feet. “You’re so dramatic. I’ll go get ‘em.”

Bucky took the stairs up to his office and came back a few minutes later with a laptop under his arm. He sat on the floor next to you and set the laptop on his lap.

“You promise you won’t make fun of me?”

“Absolutely,” you replied, mimicking a Cheshire cat grin.

He sighed and tried to look stern but it was nearly impossible. You were too lovely, and he couldn’t help but smile. He opened up the laptop and glanced at you from the corner of his eye; you were practically vibrating.

He started going through the photos when he found one of himself at a party. He was in his early twenties, slumped in a chair, his eyes glassy and unfocused. In the next one he had been joined by two equally drunk women, and he was now roaring at the camera.

“Early twenties, two arms, and not a care in the world,” he said with a little sigh.

You leaned forward, your elbow resting on the coffee table. “Looks like you were having fun.”

“College was a lot of fun,” Bucky said, grinning to himself.

“What was your major?”

“English,” he replied. “I was a really good student, I could have chosen anything but there were more girls studying literature so I enrolled as an English major.”

“Wait!” You recoiled as if you had misheard him. “Did you really choose English because there were more girls?”

He made a funny grimace, and his nose scrunched up a bit as he mulled it over. “Yeah... my priorities were a bit mixed up. Hormones and all.”

You lowered your face into your hand and laughed. When you looked up at him, he was sporting his boyish grin and you shook your head at him.

In the next picture, he was clad in a black university graduation gown standing next to a blond man also dressed in a black gown. They were smiling, sunglasses perched on their nose.

“When I graduated, I had no idea what to do with a BA in English,” Bucky said after taking a long look at the photo. “The thing is, I never found my life’s calling. In high school I didn’t know what job I wanted to do, or what really motivated me, and to be honest I never really thought about it. I figured I’d find my passion in college but...” he trailed off with a shrug. “You’re lucky to have found your passion.”

“Is that why you want to help me?” you asked. “Because I found my calling and I wasn’t pursuing it.”

He tilted his head to one side, considering. “Yes, I guess that’s part of the reason why I want to help you.” He took a shuddering breath.

“Turns out I wasn’t the only one struggling to keep my head above water.” He pressed his index finger to the computer screen. “This is Steve, my oldest friend. He had just started working as a professional freelance photographer. I had nothing to do so I decided to help him build his portfolio. You’re an artist, I’m sure you know that a portfolio will make or break you.”

“It shows what you’ve accomplished, the skills you mastered,” you said, nodding. “Your potential employers will want to see your portfolio.”

“Exactly, and you have to show them your best work. In Steve’s case, it meant taking risks. No matter how talented you are, no one’s gonna pay you for a shot of the Brooklyn Bridge. It’s gorgeous but it’s not rare.”

“So what did he do?”

“We decided to climb Mount Everest.” He mechanically rubbed his stump and your eyes followed his movement. “It might’ve been the dumbest idea we’ve ever had but it sort of made sense at the time. Steve needed a challenging project and I was trying to find my purpose. We trained for a year, put money aside and took a loan. We were young, we thought we were invincible.

“The thing is,” he continued, “Mount Everest is the most famous mountain in the world. It’s crowded and only half the climbers reach the summit. A lot of people die.” He took a small pause. “Sometimes they can’t remove their bodies and they become landmarks. Our Sherpa told us about this man, they call him Green Boots. He’s sort of curled up in a fetal position near what they call Green Boots’ cave. When you walk past him, it looks like he’s just sleeping and because it’s so cold out there he’s actually well-preserved.”

“Oh, God.”

“Yeah, it’s awful,” Bucky let out a small, humourless laugh. “When I fell, I dislocated my arm and it pinched my axillary artery completely closed. It cut off circulation. That’s why they had to amputate. I was just lying there, too weak to call for help, watching people walk past me. They thought I was dead. And I remember thinking, ‘I’m going to die here. I’m going to die here and people will refer to me as Blue Jacket.’ Then Steve and the Sherpa found me, and Steve carried me on his back until they found a shelter. When the rescue team arrived, it was too late to save my arm.”

He went through the photos in silence and glared at the screen without really seeing it, his mind far away. On the screen, there was an endless stream of blurry smiles and blue eyes but he couldn’t look away. His thoughts cleared up when he felt the back of your knuckles along his cheek and jaw.

He unclenched his teeth, feeling the pain in his jaw. You brushed your fingers through his hair, pushing it off his forehead. You mindlessly played with the curl on top of his head and raked your fingernails gently over his scalp. When you spoke, your voice was just a soft whisper.

“Come back to me.”

Bucky forced his eyes shut and swallowed past the lump in his throat, tears pooling on his lower lashes. He took a deep breath and released it slowly. After a moment, he felt his body beginning to relax.

“How do you do that?” he asked in a pleading voice, turning his head to look at you. “How do you quiet the noise in my head?”

The question caught you off guard but you recovered quickly. You took his arm and draped it over your shoulders. “I don’t know,” you said, snuggling into his side. “It’s your second panic attack today. Did I push you too hard?”

“No.” His response was immediate. “I don’t like winter. It’s freezing cold and it gets dark at three thirty. Not my favorite time of the year.”

“But this helps, right?” you asked, waving your hand back and forth in the space between you.

He chuckled. “Yeah, it helps a lot.”

“Good.” You snuggled a little closer.

“But since you’re hoarding my arm, you’re gonna have to go through the pictures yourself,” he added, grinning down at you.

“Sorry,” you laughed. You reached out and slid two fingers over the touchpad guiding the cursor over the arrow icon. “So where are those pictures of you with long hair, uh?”

He knew you were trying to distract him but still made him blush. Those photos were in a folder titled: recovery spring 2010. He gave you directions to find it and waited for your reaction, wondering if you would burst into laughter at the sight of him with long hair and a lot more weight on.

“Wow.”

Bucky turned his attention to the screen to see which one had caught your interest. It was a selfie Steve had taken one sunny afternoon after he had forced Bucky to go out with him and Sam. They were sitting outside drinking iced tea.

Steve’s smile was blinding. He was wearing that stupid baseball cap he loved so much. Bucky sat hunched over in his seat behind Steve, his smile small but genuine. It was the kind of smile that said ‘my friends forced me to join them but I’m secretly glad they did’. Sam was leaning sideways against Bucky, his eyes hidden behind a pair of sunglasses.

“You look like a completely different person,” you said. “So... strong.”

“Hey!” he gasped in mock offense. “How dare you? I’m still strong.” He removed his arm from behind your shoulders and raised it to flex his biceps. “Look at that!”

With a roll of your eyes, you let your hand roam over his muscular arm slightly squeezing his biceps. “Okay, I’m impressed.”

“Ah! Thank you,” he said with a pleased smile. “Now, c’mon, s’ time to eat.”

Bucky got to his feet and extended his hand to help you up. You trailed behind him as you walked toward the kitchen. “I bet Steve could rip a log in half with his bare hands.”

“I’ll ask him.”

“Where is he?”

“Hard to say. He works for National Geographic now. I think he’s supposed to be in Siberia.”

You spent the next few days like tourists. You showed Bucky your favourite museums, stayed way too long in front of several artworks but he never complained. Bucky took you to the movies. You sat together in the dark for several hours watching foreign films, and you only fell asleep once. Then the two of you would walk around Manhattan speaking in a made-up language and pretending to be characters in a movie.

Bucky couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so carefree. A little voice in the back of his head kept repeating ‘enjoy it while it lasts’ but he chose to ignore it.

“Thanks for helping me with this,” Bucky said, gesturing at the tree in the living room. “She went to the store to buy some ornaments.”

He handed Sam a bottle of beer which he took with a smile before tipping it to his lips for a long drink. Bucky hit his beer bottle on the counter to uncap it and followed Sam into the living room.

“She’s excited, uh,” Sam said with a grin. “You guys are spending Christmas together?”

“Liss,” Bucky replied after taking a swig of beer. “We’re celebrating Liss this year.”

“’The hell is that?”

Bucky shrugged. “It’s an old word. It means comfort, happiness.” A respite from pain. “We decided to make our own holiday. We’re going to spend two days in our fanciest loungewear, eating junk food and playing board games.”

“Cute,” Sam drawled out. “When’s the wedding?”

“Don’t say that.” Bucky glared at him. “Why do you always do that? I finally feel at peace with myself. I’m happy, I’m ready to take on new challenges. Why do you always have to make fun of me?”

Sam’s eyes widened at this. “Woah, I’m joking. It’s what we do. You tease me, I tease you. C’mon, I know things have been hard for you. I’m proud of you,” he rushed to say, afraid he might have hurt his friend’s feelings, but then he caught Bucky’s barely concealed smirk behind his beer bottle. “You’re messing with me.”

“Of course, man. Can you say ‘I’m proud of you’ again? Wanna make it my ringtone.”

“Screw you.” They sipped their beer in silence, each deep in thought. “But you like her, right?”

Bucky twirled the neck of the bottle between two fingers. “I do, she’s nice.”

Sam shook his head like he was frustrated with the answer “That’s not what I mean, and you know it. Don’t bullshit me.”

“I’m not in love with her, Sam.”

“I never said anything about being in love.” He was silent for a moment before he added, “Beside there’s an entire world between like and love.”

Bucky caught a glimpse of hurt and fear in the depths of Sam’s eyes. He reminded him of Steve: strong yet vulnerable, generous and righteous. Bucky had a feeling Sam wasn’t talking about you.

“Is this about Natasha?”

Sam hung his head and stared at the beer bottle he rolled between his hands. “Sometimes I feel like it was inevitable. These sugar daddy relationships are complicated; at first it’s fun and easy, we both get what we want.” He took a deep breath and straightened his shoulders. “And then it changes, so fast you barely see it coming, and it becomes the only thing you look forward to.” He took another swig of beer.

“These few hours with her mean more to me than anything else in this goddamn world. But it’s not real, none of this is real.”

“How do you know it’s not real?” Bucky asked, swallowing past the lump in his throat.

“I pay her.” Sam gave him a sad smile. “She spends time with me because I pay her. Sex wasn’t part of our deal but it came naturally. It’s going to end, one way or another. And If my time with her is limited, why make things complicated, y’see?”

An uneasy feeling gnawed at Bucky’s stomach, taunting him, trying to make him see something he wasn’t ready to see yet. “What if she feels the same way ‘bout you?”

“I don’t know,” Sam sighed. “To know that I’d have to talk to her, and I’d rather not take my chances. I’m happy with the way things are right now. It hurts, but I’m okay.” He leaned back and made himself comfortable. “You gotta be careful, Bucky. I see the way you look at your angel. You’re skating on thin fucking ice.”

“It’s not like that.”

“Like, love,” Sam said, weighing the two words. “And everything in between.”

They mulled over Sam’s words while they finished their beer. A million thoughts raged through Bucky’s head, circling around like wasps, buzzing and annoying. He was relieved when he heard the front door open.

“Italian leather loafers, mmh is Sam here?” you called out from the kitchen where you set your shopping bag down on the table before you joined them in the living room. “Hey guys! What’s the matter? You both look like someone kicked your puppy-OH MY GOD! LOOK AT THAT TREE!”

While you ran across the living room, Sam cast Bucky a look. The message was clear; be careful. They got to their feet and acted like nothing happened. Sam put on his coat and gave you a quick hug before he left.

Bucky was silent while you were decorating the tree. He let you decide where you wanted to put the tinsel and baubles. He just sat there with a vacant look in his eyes, handing baubles. A smile curled his lips when you cupped his cheek and ran the pad of your thumb along his cheekbone. He looked up at you.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good,” Bucky said with a small smile. “Just old and moody.”

You laughed. “Come here, help me with this. It’s actually super boring when no one’s fighting for the baubles.”

“Oh, you wanna fight, angel,” he said with a smirk while he played with a tinsel garland. “Ok, let’s fight.”

You took a step back. “I’ve changed my mind.”

“Too late!”

You shrieked when he launched himself at you. He wrapped the tinsel garland around you, loosely pinning your arms to your sides. You laughed so hard your eyes watered and your shoulders shook. He used it to his advantage and looped two baubles over your ears like giant earrings.

Still laughing, you tugged one of your hands free and threw a handful of tinsel all over Bucky before you ran away. He chased you around the living room, using one of the fairy lights as a lasso.  

Soon, the living room was a giant mess. There was more tinsel in Bucky’s hair than on the tree, and you had managed to wrap the fairy lights around his body. You look pretty ridiculous with your giant earrings and dishevelled hair.

You and Bucky collapsed on the floor, out of breath and euphoric. The sun was starting to set behind the skyscrapers casting a warm golden glow over the room. You turned on the fairy lights and burst out laughing when Bucky sparkled like a tree.

He found his phone on the sofa and handed it to you. You opened up the camera app and nestled closer to him. The first photo was blurry because you couldn’t stop laughing. Bucky thought the second photo was nice but you didn’t like it.

“My smile is too wild,” you said.

“You look beautiful,” he argued. “I look like a Christmas tree.”

Bucky felt a pleasant stir in his belly when you placed your head on his shoulder. Be careful. He could practically hear Sam’s voice in his head. His chest was hurting. It wasn’t unpleasant, just peculiar and unexpected. He closed his eyes and rested his cheek on top of your head.

“Bucky! You have to open your eyes,” you scolded him after looking at the picture, unaware of his inner turmoil.

He wasn’t sure he could; tears were welling up in his eyes. He was terrified of his feelings for you, but his body was screaming at him to stop burying his head in the sand. He didn’t want you to see the tears in his eyes, he didn’t want to alarm you, because the truth was, he hadn’t been careful.

“Can’t. I’m comfy,” he replied, masking his true feelings behind a joke.

“Open them or I’ll tickle you.”

He chuckled. “Okay, okay, no need to use force.”

He soldiered on and opened his eyes, smiling at the camera. He liked you, and he promised himself he would never tell you. His feelings didn’t matter, it wasn’t part of your deal.

Part 7