#casually posts things in-between other things and lays down again :D

[hannieehaee]

18+ / mdi

content: boyfriend!mingyu & bf'sbestfriend!wonwoo, smut, afab reader, direct continuation to this, wonwoo pov, penetrative sex, oral (m and f receiving), mingyu's a lil shit, sex w/o protection, threesome, etc.

part 1

wc: 2275

a/n: tysm for the two ppl (i think??) who requested this. im so sorry i took so long </3

masterlist

"shit. please tell me this isn't a one time thing."

he heard you and mingyu chuckle at his breathless statement, except he had meant it. now that he had you once, he wasn't sure he could ever look you in the eye ever again without wanting to drag you right back into bed. he wasn't even going to get into the effect mingyu watching the two of you fuck had on him. he didn't want to open that can of worms just yet.

"hyung. get up. it's my turn," just as wonwoo was basking in on his post-orgasm bliss, of course mingyu had to interrupt him.

"gyu! give him some room to breathe!", you turned towards mingyu before turning back to stare down at him from your position above him, "are you okay, nonu?"

"don't baby him! you never baby me!"

"what do you mean? i always baby you!"

wonwoo had to admit he was quite entertained by your casual back and forth with mingyu while he laid naked under you, but he already felt himself growing hard again over the feeling of your wet pussy still laying right on top of his dick. by now he'd tuned you and mingyu out, keeping his eyes glued to the skin connecting the two of you, resisting the urge to grind his hips upwards and against you, so he went for something a bit more subtle (well, not really). while you and mingyu argued about who would do what next, wonwoo had decided to grab onto your hips and pull you down towards him mid speech, interrupting your conversation with your boyfriend as he locked lips with you once again. your immediate response was to yelp in surprise, but it didn't take you long to fall into the rhythm of wonwoo's lips, moaning against his lips as he buried his tongue in your mouth.

"d-dude! what the fuck? that's my girlfriend! you already had her, it's my turn," mingyu had gotten up from his spot sitting across from you, deciding to physically lift you off of wonwoo, earning a whine from you both as you chased for each other's lips.

"listen. i'm not about to third wheel between my girlfriend and my best friend', he turned back to wonwoo, we're taking turns. we'll be fair, okay? you can eat her out while i fuck her mouth. that's the most i can offer you right now," mingyu had made it sound very transactional, but wonwoo couldn't argue against him. the thought of your pretty cunt pressed against his face as you moaned around his best friend's cock sounded like a wet dream. it wasn't too difficult to agree, specially upon seeing your own enthusiastic agreement to the proposition.

a few moments later and the three of you were now practically a centipede on mingyu's bed. gyu was sitting at the end of the bed, back resting against the headboard as his hands guided your mouth in its bobs up and down his dick. behind you was wonwoo, who had you on all fours as he licked and sucked desperately at your cunt, which was grinding against his face with similar desperation. at the very end of the bed were wonwoo's hips, grinding maniacally against the bed at the arousal your taste and the sound of your moans were causing him.

"god, baby. you're so fucking good. such a pretty little mouth. n all for me, right beautiful?", groaned mingyu as he pushed your head further against his dick, forcing you to gag on his cock as you moaned against him.

"you like that, hyung? like my pretty girl's cunt? tastes so fucking good, doesn't it?", wonwoo wasn't sure what his reaction to his friend talking to him mid sex should be, but he was sure it shouldn't have caused him to speed up his hips, now practically humping the mattress.

what took the cake, however, was the feeling of your cunt against his tongue. wonwoo had thought he felt the utmost pleasure when you were riding him as his best friend jacked off to the sight of you, but nothing compared to your muffled moans as he sucked at your clit. he was sure that if he could see and hear you properly, he'd absolutely lose his mind.

"g-gyu ... need you to cum. please. want you in my mouth .. fuck my mouth - please!"

mingyu might've been used to hearing you quite literally begged for cock, but wonwoo sure as hell wasn't. your desperate moans for a big cock to fill your mouth had him groaning against your cunt, licking even more aggressively now as he held onto your hips and ground them against his face. your essence was taking over him, making him have to resist the urge to steal you away and rob orgasm after orgasm out of you as you cried for him to stop.

"yeah ... fuck! gonna cum, baby. are you ready? wanna see you swallow it all, yeah? be my good girl and take all of it for me," wonwoo felt you shake as mingyu came in your mouth, moaning louder than he'd even seen him, and that was saying a lot, considering how loud mingyu tended to be. he was now feeling himself become lightheaded at the mixture of your muffled moans and mingyu's loud ones. he hadn't realized until mingyu quietened down from his high that he was also moaning incessantly against your pussy, desperate for your release against his lips.

"c'mon, nonu. make her cum," taunted mingyu, using the nickname you had made up for him.

wonwoo took that as a challenge, speeding up his movements more than even he thought possible. there was nothing wonwoo had wanted in this moment, or maybe ever, than to feel your warm cream against his face.

"nonu! nonu, please - p-please! i'm almost there, just need to- oh! fuck, right there!", your cries for more had wonwoo going insane, feeling his cock almost explode at the sound of his name on your lips. he still couldn't believe he had you all to himself (well, almost) as you ground your ass against his face, pussy dripping and crying for him.

"cumming! i'm there, nonu- fuck!"

even from his angle, he felt you fall limp against your boyfriend, who was still sitting against the headboard as he watched him suckle on your clit. wonwoo had never thought his best friend to be so depraved, getting off on his friend making his girlfriend cry against his tongue, but he understood. he thought he might be a bit like him, maybe. but that was something for wonwoo to explore some other day. right now his focus was solely on the way you cried at him to stop kitten-licking at your swollen clit as your orgasm dissipated, but wonwoo couldn't help himself. he needed your cries of desperation embedded into his brain. he didn't know if he'd ever get a spot on your bed ever again, so he needed to make it worth it.

he couldn't get himself to stop until you physically separated yourself from him, now fully falling onto your boyfriend's lap, where he repositioned you so that you could sit up against mingyu's back, now facing wonwoo.

"did you like that, baby? liked your nonu's tongue on that pretty cunt?" mingyu was kissing your neck as he said this, causing you to tilt your head back as he suckled at it lightly, but his eyes were strictly on wonwoo.

"uh-huh," you breathed out, clearly not even processing what mingyu had said, just riding on the sensitivity your body was probably feeling after two intense orgasms, but wonwoo wanted to give you a third. his dick was incredibly hard by now, having only been able to grind against the mattress as he made you cry with his tongue. he needed your cunt again, but he wasn't too sure how to go about it.

it seemed that wonwoo's eyes might've given him away, as they were glued directly to your form, taking in how shiny your skin was due to the perspiration. he was beginning to become addicted the sight of your tits rising up and down with your heavy breaths, begging for a warm mouth to encompass them. so that's what he did. he closed the short gap between your bodies and leaned down to suckle at your tits, starting off lightly as if to tease you. he knew you were still sensitive, which caused him to relish on the soft cries and sighs of pleasure you were letting out at his kitten-licks against your nipples. there was no prettier sound than your whine of pleasure as he pressed his teeth against your nub, pulling at it lightly. you were now receiving love bites from your boyfriend who was sitting sitting right behind you, all the while wonwoo was worshiping your tits. wonwoo felt this was right. he felt that you deserved the utmost pleasure, and if that took form in the pair of them taking turns to have you, then so be it.

even as he enjoyed the taste of your skin against his tongue, the thought of your cunt wrapped against him once more wouldn't leave him, so he took a leap and spoke up, locking eyes with his best friend once more, "gyu, can i-"

"want her again, hyung? i understand. i would too," his friend smirked, clearly proud that at the end of the day, you were all his, and whether or not wonwoo got to have you again was up to him, "i'll let you have her again. but just like this. wanna keep her in my arms as she falls apart."

the angle was a bit uncomfortable, with you sitting on mingyu's lap as his back reclined against the bed frame, wonwoo on his knees in front of you. in order to fuck you, wonwoo had to partially allow his legs to sit atop mingyu's. at first he thought it'd be weird, but once his cock had made its way to its rightful place inside your warm walls, any thought of discomfort left him.

you both sighed in relief as he bottomed out, having missed the feeling even if you had only fucked about thirty minutes ago. you leaned back against mingyu, relishing on the way his hands fondled your tits and his mouth kissed at your neck as wonwoo thrusted against you.

"god ... you feel so fucking good. best fucking pussy i've ever had ..." wonwoo had realized the way in which you'd react at mingyu's dirty talk, wanting to also have a similar effect on you.

"hear that, baby? your nonu likes that pretty pussy. and you've been keeping it from him this whole time? that's so mean ... better make it up to him, huh, pretty?" mingyu playfully bit at your ear as he said this, making you throw your head back at being attacked by the two pussydrunk men.

"wa-want you to cum in me, nonu ... please! gyu won't mind. right, baby? wanna feel you ... please ..." wonwoo almost came at your words, having so badly wanted to fill you up just half an hour ago when mingyu had halted your movements before you could sit on him and ride him raw, requesting you use a condom due to his possessive nature over you. wonwoo wasn't sure what'd changed, but he wasn't going to test his luck by asking.

"whatever you want, princess. it's yours. just wanna make my girl feel good. you feel good, baby? you like his dick? is it better than mine, beautiful?", wonwoo could tell there was some sadistic side to this. mingyu seemed to enjoy causing you turmoil as he asked an impossible question in the midst of your impending orgasm, knowing your mind was half empty by the pleasure.

"n-no! like you both ... so good ... please ..." wonwoo had only had you this evening, but he could already see your tells when you were about to cum, and jesus was he glad. he didn't know how much longer he could last as he saw you mewl against his friend's chest, crying as his cock hammered into you while your boyfriend pinched and pulled at your nipples.

"cum for me, yeah? gonna cum with you, gorgeous. just need you to- fuck! n-need you to cum for me first," as much as wonwoo wanted to match mingyu on his art of dirty-talk, there was only so much he could do as you wrapped viciously around him, making him feel as if all air had been kicked out of his lungs, chasing after yet another intense orgasm triggered by you.

it took you a few extra minutes to catch your breath, both of you cumming almost simultaneously while mingyu instigated you to moan louder for his friend. wonwoo felt as if he entered an astral state, bliss completely taking over him not only at the sensations but at the pretty sight in front of him.

you both fell limp against each other after that, taking a quick minute to catch your breaths.

"no. this was not a one time thing, by the way. you're welcome in our bed anytime," mingyu finally broke the silence, - sans the heavy breathing - answering the question wonwoo had posed earlier.

"yeah, we've talked about it before ... you're welcome in our bed whenever. if you want, that is!" now it was your turn, doing the best you could to muster out an entire sentence through your lack of breath.

wonwoo just laid there, smile forming on his face. yeah, he was going to enjoy this new dynamic with his best friend and his pretty girl.

[magnetarmadda]

A day late, here's my ficlet for @tmaappreciationweek Day 3: Alternate Universe. It's inspired by this tumblr post

Jon's had several centuries now to come to terms with both his immortality and his all-encompassing but unrequited infatuation with one Martin Blackwood. The immortality, you can imagine, was much easier to grasp. When he was a boy, his grandmother had told him tales of the bloodsucking monsters in the hills, and Jon had the misfortune to not properly believe her and be full of unquenchable curiosity. He'd mostly abided by her rules as a child, having had one close call that instead claimed a neighbor, but in adulthood, he had found an excuse to travel into the hills in search of something or other for his village—he can't even remember properly anymore.  Going on a thousand years later, he's still paying for it. He supposes that's why he's madly in love with Martin, a kind of exquisite cosmic torture for his sins. He'll love this man until the end of time and crave a kind of intimacy he cannot have that surpasses the cravings for blood. Chalking most of the negative things in his very long life up to paying for his sins has become so standard that, the moment he recognizes his handwriting in a display case, he immediately wonders if this will finally be the moment he's earned forgiveness for his foolishness as a young man. Jon and Martin had met up for their usual Saturday afternoon excursion, this time revisiting a museum to see a new exhibit on Victorian era letters and documents. Martin had joked as they walked in that he hoped he'd see one of his early poems here, since he'd lost a whole wooden box of them during a move a hundred years ago. They've been wandering slowly through the exhibit, Martin's arm looped through Jon's in the casual way they've developed, and have recognized the handwriting of a few other vampires they've come to know, but so far, none of Martin's poems. Until they come across Jon's handwriting instead. "Jon?" Martin asks, using his free hand to point to it. "That's…that's your—" He trails off, eyes glued to the words on the aged page.  It's a letter Jon thought he'd burned over 150 years ago, and what little color his skin carries now is flushed away as he remembers the agony under which he'd penned it.  He and Martin had spent the day at the World's Fair, much like this day at the museum, and there had been a moment when one of Jon's remarks had been returned by Martin with such affection that Jon had dared to hope. He wrote all of his burning feelings out on the page and determined to give it to Martin on their next meeting. The exact words Martin had said that made Jon hold back the letter have been forgotten now, but Jon remembers the coldness that spread through his limbs as Martin made a remark about the solidity and dependability of their friendship. Jon had never given the letter over. And now, it's here, his own handwriting laying him bare in this very public space. "That's—that's me," Martin is whispering now, getting closer to the display to read the words again, his expression hungry. Then he turns to Jon, eyes wide. "Jon, what…?" Jon takes a deep breath, even as meaningless as oxygen is for his system now, but nothing comes out of his mouth. He tries a few times, opening and closing it, and he scrutinizes Martin's expression as he does so.  He has absolutely no idea what's going on in his friend's mind, and terror takes root in his soul. Is he about to lose his best friend? "All this time, and you've never told me?" Martin finally breaks the silence, stepping close to Jon. "You really felt that way?" Jon nods, a lump in his throat now.  "D-do you…" At least seeing an opening, Jon dives into it headfirst. "I have loved you for hundreds of years," he says softly, taking a step to fill the decreasing gap between them. "How could I not, Martin?" Martin, eyes wide and flashing, smiles brightly back. "You idiot," he says, and then leans down to kiss Jon.

[softlyapocalytpic]

WIP Weekend

Tagged by @persephotea

I haven't written any fics recently, so take this list of Moments I wrote about Sunshine and Deacon! None of it is necessarily canon but rather me trying to figure out their dynamic

Tagging: @railroadlesbian @bleumanouche @sirmanmister (no pressure! just offering the chance haha)

Sunshine and Deacon come across a raider camp that has some people locked up and the decide to have a little fun with busting them out. A little work together challenge if you will. Sunshine goes to the front gate, Deacon takes the back, and they're both testing their lying skills to basically walk in the front door before raising hell. They both succeed (relatively) although some things fuck up and they have to improvise from their. The people get saved, the raiders get slaughtered (some running away screaming), and Sunny tosses back a grenade at the place as they walk away with arms wrapped around each other's necks. The implication here is this is pretty normal and practiced for them at this point.

Playing poker with the RR post HP going undercover, and the two of them cleaning out their fellow agents for the bits and bobs they bet. Glory in particular ends up losing incredibly poorly and she realizes at the end the two of them had been working together to split the winnings (the winnings not even being money, but knick knacks, snacks, and the life. they're a nonprofit, they don't have money).

Sunny and D sitting with Tinker and tossing conspiracy theories with him and each other and then he gets disappointed when he realizes that neither actually believes in them like he does they're just fucking around. Sunny shrugs and says they could be real, but the knowledge doesn't change her life at all so what's the point in worrying about? Deacon thinking to himself about how differently they view life and knowledge.

Playing baseball in Diamond City with each other and the kids and it generally causes a ruckus and they get told to quit so they all end up going back to the Dugout for nuka colas and food. Sunny and Deacon both take turns smiling fondly at the other while the other is wrapped up in telling stories to the kids. Sunny tells Deacon he'd make a really good teacher.

Playing pranks on the Brotherhood of Steel while Sunny is "in captivity" and generally just making the soldiers look like idiots. This includes stealing shit and misplacing it on purpose, Deacon talking circles around their ideology while Sunny aids him, and purposefully misunderstanding orders to create chaos.

Generally being silly competitive over kills which ends in them both lying constantly to one up the other because they're both great liars. This is observed by an outside party (Leo? Mac? Who knows) who point out how silly and ridiculous those numbers are to which they both start defending the other.

It's sunset on a rooftop somewhere and they've had a couple of very bad beers (maybe they just got that beer bot for the guy in Goodneighbor). Sunny suddenly and abruptly opening up to Deacon about her relationship with Piper and her pseudo-relationship with Veronica when something reminds her of them. She talks very casually about the revelation that she's probably just unlovable. Deacon is caught between wanting to yell "no your wrong" and not being able to be vulnerable, and so he says, "Eh, I'm not ever settling down with anybody. We can be unlovable together" or something to that extent.

Sunshine is having a bad migraine day and can't go outside. Deacon isn't used to her being like this and Sunny tries to hide it because she hates being seen as weak. His gust instinct is to leave her alone until she's ready to be bright and cheery again, but he pushes past that and goes to lay down beside her in her dark room and tells her stories. Anything he can come up with as long as he can. They can't see each other's faces and Deacon's heart is beating fast at being so close and intimate with someone, and he wants to bolt. But he stays and he lets Sunny softly hold his hand. He offers to get her water and food and take care of her in little non-invasive ways, and at first she flinches, but lets him take care of her. Lets herself be vulnerable too.

I think it makes sense for Deacon to have a dissociative disorder. He starts just kinda not being there in one of those quiet moments where they have to sit in silence for mission reasons and the stress is compounding. Sunny doesn't try to force him out of it but rather she holds him and grounds him by being this physical presence that reminds him that he's real. She tells him stories about her travels, not the outlandish, but the things she misses and loves about the Mojave.

Deacon does actually ask about Sunshine's past, but he's careful about what he asks about so as to not have her close off. He's constantly looking to know more about everything and everyone, and most the time Sunny offers a lot of the fun voluntarily, but he loves stories about the Mojave so he wants to know what it was life. He likes to fly off to the escapist fantasy of other worlds and he wants to go see the West Coast so badly but he never can. Eventually, I think she takes him there and shows him everything she can. He finally gets to travel for fun.

[questionartbox]

Two bards and a cleric walk into a bar, and continue to get absolutely nothing else done for the rest of their adventure ✨ ✨ ✨ Sadiq is @art-a-la-operaghost's, Aidan is mine, and Kapris belongs to @kaisukidoodles ! Art blog: questionartbox Commissions | Ko-Fi | Patreon

[maximotts]

am I allowed to ask for private hire!Natasha for the NSFW thing?

I wasn't gonna post this until I came back from my hiatus, but I don't know when that'll be and I wanted to try and be nice for Halloween because it's my favorite holiday. So... enjoy PH!WandaNat headcanons, I hope y'all are doing well 🎃

NSFW Alphabet: Private Hire!WandaNat

For Natasha, it depends on the type of sex you had and her mood. If it was just a quickie type thing, she's more than okay with giving you a slap on the ass and maybe a forehead kiss if you pout enough. 

For Natasha, it depends on the type of sex you had and her mood. If it was just a quickie type thing, she's more than okay with giving you a slap on the ass and maybe a forehead kiss if you pout enough. 

If she's been really rough with you, she'll get you into the shower and make sure you're nice and relaxed before letting you lay down, then she'll give you a once over. It might look like Natasha doesn't care tons, but her care comes from watching and taking in information silently. If something's wrong, she'll likely work to make you better before you even realize you feel off.

Wanda on the other hand... it's rare not to hear a "How are you, little dove?" after even the briefest of encounters. She's always snuggling you; if it's her office, she'll hold you on her lap for as long as you need; if you're at home, it's the same in that she's still keeping you close, but if you fall asleep and she's not tired, Wanda will go tuck you in. 

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's)

Natasha likes her hips, especially when she can catch you staring at them while she walks across the room. Her favorite of yours… any time she tells you, you blush and tell her to stop, but she loves your pussy and how responsive it is, how eager you always are to rub it against her thigh when you’re bored or horny. How’s she supposed to choose anything else?

Wanda can never choose her favorite body part of yours; she’s always switching between your lips and your arms. She wasn’t a big casual hugger until she met you and you grew comfortable with her, now you give her hugs whenever you think she could use one and your arms around her make her feel so very loved. Her own favorite, Wanda’s partial to her breasts. She’ll show them off in outfits or lingerie any chance she gets.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically)

Both of them are big fans of cum play, Wanda will fuck you and make you clean off her fingers just so that when she kisses you, she can taste all of you. She also can’t deny how hot it is to see her cum all over your face once she’s finished riding it.

I’ll mention it later down in the Kink section, but Natasha’s favorite toy is her cum strap. Yes, she loves filling you with it, but she’ll paint your stomach too just to see you all sticky. If Wanda’s there, she’ll often want to see Wanda lick it all off of you too, before starting all over again and letting her wife have her turn.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Honestly, it’s hard to think of one. Wanda’s mommy kink was a secret for a while until she let it slip one night, but mostly if she’s into something she’ll say so. Natasha is a bundle of secrets. Not because she’s shy, but she hasn’t figured out how to approach the subject yet. 

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they're doing?)

They’re both pretty experienced; Natasha helped Wanda a lot with sex because she hadn’t had much time to figure it out before they met. It’s one of the reasons Wanda trusts Nat so much; with all they’ve been through, Nat’s never truly hurt her or made fun of anything she found out she was into while they were experimenting together. 

With you, they know you’re experienced enough to know what you’re doing, but they’re aware they can be a little…intense. They know how to reign themselves in enough that you’re never too overwhelmed or out of your depths.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Oooo.. Nat loves fucking you from behind. At first she couldn’t figure out why, but then one night while she had you screaming into your pillow, she cracked it. There’s something about having you on your hands and knees only to watch you crumble until you’re struggling to yourself up on your elbows and then eventually, finally, getting you prone, hips just barely moving to fuck yourself on her strap… yeah, she adores that. Then, selfishly, Nat enjoys getting to pull you back into her whenever you try to crawl away before she’s done with you.

Wanda prefers having you on her lap. She wants you as close as possible so she can watch every flutter of your eyes, hear each gasp as she pushes her fingers deeper… Additionally, for this position, you tend to cling to her the more desperate you get and as much as she complains about you wrinkling her suits, she really doesn’t mind at all. 

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Maybe not serious, but.. Focused? That’s not to say they won’t have fun with you though. Sometimes they play games to see who can make you cum fastest or Natasha will let you help her fuck Wanda, whether that be helping her tease her or making you obey her instead of Wanda just to watch her wife get all growly and grumpy.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Natasha is more trimmed than anything, neat but not completely shaved. And no, whenever she dyes her hair, she doesn’t change down there as well. She just keeps it the natural red no matter what.

Wanda though, she waxes routinely and keeps everything short and tidy. 

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect...)

Natasha is the most intimate when she’s only with Wanda, she can really let her guard down then, but even that took a lot of time. When it comes to you, well, she’s trying. She’s better at letting you in with activities outside of the bedroom like sharing some of her favorite things, joking around with you, etc. 

At first Wanda wasn’t truly intimate with you, avoided it even once she realized she had feelings, but she could see after a while that you needed that intimacy to feel wanted and secure so she started letting soft moments slip through. During sex, Wanda started touching you with more reverence instead of just ownership, giving you slow kisses and sweet words. She always provided aftercare, no question, but once Wanda decided to let you in, she’d lay down with you longer, let you snuggle with her even when she had work to do. 

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon) 

Natasha tends to be straight to the point about it. It’s rare she edges herself unless someone makes her. And that person is always Wanda, no one else can make her wait. Usually Nat calls Wanda whenever she gets off because phone sex is too hot to pass up, but sometimes Wanda forces her to take her time, “You called me, now do what I say or when you get home, I’ll make sure I’m not. No welcome home sex for poor little Natasha.”

Wanda never has to be convinced into drawing out her orgasms. If she has the time, she’ll use her toys to work herself up over and over, some days she’ll make herself cum multiple times and others she’ll wait. When she waits, it’s usually because she knows you or Natasha are on your way home and she wants to give you a nice surprise.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Would it be too obvious to talk about Wanda’s mommy kink? Call her that and you’ve instantly got her attention; she’s not going to instantly give you whatever you want, but she’ll hold you, attend to you, be so sweet to you even while she’s edging you over and over again and of course, wipe your tears as you cry. Something about that title makes Wanda feel not only in control, but needed. And she really needs you to need her.

I could mention Natasha’s daddy kink, but it kinda goes hand in hand with the fact she has a breeding kink and is completely unashamed about it. The moment she got her hands on a cum strap, it was all over. She’ll fuck you with it however you want, hard, soft, fast, or slow, as long as you’re good and let her fill you until you’re dripping. 

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Oooh.. Natasha loves pushing you against windows. Not only are you trapped, but you’re visible which she knows turns you on even if you won’t admit it. As an added bonus, she gets to watch you fog up the glass as you start to pant, your legs shake as you try to hold yourself up; all of it, she liked a lot more than expected. 

Wanda likes to have you in bed because she gets you all to herself, no distractions or interruptions. Also, she can’t get over how gorgeous you look sprawled in her bed, fucked out and grapsing at the sheets.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

A great many things could get them going, but uh.. specifically, Wanda gets turned on when Natasha goes all protective over her. She never cowers in fear or hides behind her wife, no, she can protect herself and would never show weakness like that. But seeing her threaten or actually cause violence on her behalf? Yeah, Natasha’s getting fucked good after. It turns Nat on too, seeing that passion in Wanda’s eyes that’s only for her.

In general for Nat though, she loves watching her partners submit. Sometimes you try to brush her off if you’re busy or feeling brattier, but the more fight you put up, it’s just all that much sweeter when she finally gets you to give in to her. And you always do.

N = NO (Something they wouldn't do, turn offs)

(Everyone thank Nay @didujustcallmedumb for this one because I was struggling) 

They’d never let someone else join in. Before you came along, they were very monogamous, more out of possession than anything else. They’ve had threesomes of course, but really they only really wanted one another. Neither of them expected to like you as much as they did, much less love you, but now they fight for your attention all the same and god do they get in some fights over you.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Nat loves giving more than receiving and she’s damn good at it too, her mouth on you is the best you could ask for. She’ll stay between your legs until you’re begging for her strap or punching her away because you’re too sensitive to last one more second. However, Natasha will never say no to her wife’s mouth devouring her.

When Wanda goes down on her partner, she’s going to be absolutely insatiable about it. The messier the better; she wants to see how wet she can make them, loves feeling it drip down her chin, holding your legs to keep you in place, all of it. She does end up on the receiving end most times with Natasha, and with you, she’ll eat you out happily— but you have to beg for the chance to do the same for her.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Wanda’s the slow one, wants to savor every second of working you higher and higher until you’re so far gone all you can say is “yes, mommy” and be her good, pliant girl.

For Natasha it’s almost a race to see how fast she can get you dumb and brainless. She’ll get you there and keep you that way, crying and begging while she makes you stay right at the brink for as long as you can take it.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Natasha is one for quickies more so than Wanda. It’s easy enough for Nat to just take her edge off by grabbing you from what you’re doing, forcing you to her knees, smothering you with her thighs, etc. 

Wanda doesn’t mind quickies, but again, she loves taking her time with you. Even if it’s in her office or the car, she’ll lock her door and warn everyone to leave the two of you alone or tell the driver to drive around until she’s ready to go home. 

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Those bitches are into some really risky sex. Choking is easy for them; they love knife play and if they’re feeling particularly intense, they’ll use a gun (only because they’re in reality, very safe about it). 

While they both take risks, nine out of ten times, Natasha is the one bringing up something new to experiment with— you cave into her faster than Wanda does, she’ll protest up a storm if she thinks it won’t be fun. Of course, if you say yes, Wanda ends up being there because she just has to make sure her wife is playing nicely with her toy. 

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last...)

Both of them are more than capable of going all night. For Wanda, she needs to be paced out more and she’ll protest after three or four rounds, but Natasha can convince her easily enough. She cums a lot faster than Nat, if you touch the right places or know just what to say which we’ve seen in fics before.. 

Natasha keeps that information under wraps though; she likes being the only one who can make Wanda collapse after just a few minutes. 

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Combined, they own enough to have a custom mini closet in their house to keep them all in order. Some of them, like vibrators and such, get kept in their respective nighttime drawers for easy access. Natasha prefers to use them on a partner instead of herself, but she will if she’s away on business or if it’s a toy like a strap on with an insert or a vibration. 

Wanda enjoys both ways just the same. She loves her own pleasure just as much as her partner’s and really she just thinks you’re oh so adorable trying not to squirm while she controls your vibrator from across the room.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Oh please, Wanda?! World’s Biggest tease, she should get it on a mug. She will taunt and poke and antagonize you and Natasha all day if she can. Sometimes it’s as simple as playing with the hairs on the base of your neck while she pulls you into a good morning kiss, lingering long enough to nibble your lip before going to get her coffee. 

Natasha though, not a tease. She’ll tell you what she wants, exactly how she wants it. Or she’ll just take it. 

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Neither of them are super loud, but they’re completely unashamed in making whatever noises they want. Wanda tends to be the loudest, only when you or Nat are fucking her. Otherwise she prefers to whisper in your ear and taunt you, even if she’s making you stay quiet.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Wanda is a cuddler, Natasha is.. not. It surprised Nat at first given Wanda's rough upbringing that she'd be so willing to cling, but the softer of our two mob wives thrives on physical touch.

She'll get irritable if you or Natasha aren't within some kind of reach during sex; your hands, legs, even just your hair to tug as you go down on her- she needs her loves close, safe and sound.

X = X-Ray (Let's see what's going on in those pants, picture or words)

When Natasha is hanging around the house/feeling mischievous sometimes she wears her strap just to pull you or Wanda into her lap and wait until you can feel it. She may not really do anything about it, she just loves seeing the reactions on her girls’ faces when they find what she’s got under her trousers. 

Wanda only gives up what's in her pants once she lets you see for yourself. She mostly wears lacy underwear for two reasons, the first being they don’t give off lines under her outfit which, yes, she does care about. But the second, more fun reason: Wanda also loves seeing your reactions after you get her pants off. You whimper, Natasha groans, the two of you look at her like she’s the most prized possession in the world and it makes her feel infallible. 

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

200/10, both of them are pretty much always down for sex. Wanda has a lot more restraint and will wait until the perfect moment to get exactly what she wants out of sex which often results in agony for Natasha because she knows what Wanda is after, but if she doesn’t have the time to give it to her, she’s going to have to suffer and wait.

Conversely, Natasha is terribly impulsive when horny and if she gets impatient enough, she’ll grab you or Wanda, or both if you’re available, and fuck you until she’s sated (hint: it takes a while)

Z = ZZZ ( how quickly they fall asleep after sex)

They always fall asleep in order: you, Wanda, and then Natasha. Wanda won’t rest until she knows you’re safe and sound all curled up with you and Nat, but once you are, Nat’s making sure her wife is settled. It doesn’t usually take long, Wanda gets sleepy when she sees you sleeping— then Nat passes out right after.

[spilledkauffie]

NSFW Alphabet • Zemo

List made by @caitlinpotter || whooooo boy

*xFemale!Reader || SFW Alphabet

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Super, super sweet!—he’s lovey dovey the moment you hit your final orgasm, rough kisses turn to gentle, featherlike, kisses across your quivering skin as you work through the final wave of ecstasy. He strokes his fingertips down your tense abdomen, feeling the subtle shake traveling through your body in the final moments of your orgasm.

Afterwards—he hoarsely asks if you’re okay, caressing your cheek, as you lay next to him breathless. There’s a soft smile across his lips, as you close your eyes, swallowing, to gather yourself, before smiling. He presses a kiss to your forehead as you snuggle up against his side, resting your head on his bicep.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Loves your legs and back— you wear anything that significantly reveals either and it’s already on his mind. He loves how the curve of your back fits perfectly against his palm when you arch it, especially when you’re straddling his lap. During foreplay, he always kisses a trail along the inside of your thigh, with his hand either caressing your calf or stroking along the outside of your leg. 

Lips— he loves your lips, sometimes when you’re talking or venting, on a roll about something, you’ll find him just staring at your lips. He is notorious for open mouth kisses, out of nowhere just kissing you, sometimes whilst you’re talking, but mostly when you just don’t expect it. 

As for himself, he’s probably say his hands, so he can feel you and mouth, cause he could kiss you all day long.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Together— you don’t know how but somehow he knows how to get you both there at the same time. Your breath starts to hitch as you squeeze your legs against him. You hear him whisper a few curses and feel him grip your hips a little rougher, keeping you in place, as you both cum.

On other occasions or positions— seeing it drip down the arch of your back is insanely attractive, as he dips to breathlessly kiss between your shoulder blades.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Loves being cuffed— there’s something about the metal, feel and sound. Plus he loves the challenge of feeling you up whilst in handcuffs, a lot of times he’ll bring his hands to the back of your neck, pulling the cuff links tight against the nape of your neck, bringing you and holding you deep into a kiss.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Obviously, yes, he’s had experience— he absolutely knows what he’s doing, in fact he’s the only one who’s been able to get you on a new level of pleasure via him just knowing what he was doing. When you asked him how he knew where to hit, he lifts an eyebrows and simply replies “I have experience.”

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying.)

He’s really game for it all— whatever you’re comfortable with, he’s comfortable with. That means if halfway through you want to switch, he’s good with that.

Anything with you beneath him, chest to chest; he really does love absolutely making out while fucking you, so a lot of face to face works best for that— your knees pressing against his sides, your nails slowly scratching across his back, him giving fresh hickeys to your neck, and hands exploring your body while he slips his tongue in your mouth.

Tabletop— could literally be on a table, counter, or just the edge of the bed. Either way, you’re clinging to the surface’s edge, trying to keep yourself positioned at the very edge for him, (in bed, the bed posts can help), his fingertips are leaving bruises against your hips or his hand is wrapped around the ankle you have resting up against his shoulder, he presses kisses against the inside of your ankle as he fucks you.

 Doggy style—he loves the beautiful curve of your back so what better than fully seeing it. He presses his thumbs against the small of your back, and typically has a hand stroking up and down your spine.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

It’s definitely more serious, but it’s also always fun and extremely satisfying— his charm allows him to swoon you, keeping it a heated and romantic setting, but he can’t help but chuckle in between kisses to your skin when your jaw drops and your take a breath staggering gasp, clinging onto him, feeling things you’ve never felt before.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Literally perfect— he’s surprisingly good at knowing how you want it based on your actions leading up to the moment. He knows if you want it more rough and kinky, or if you just want to feel adored like a princess, made to feel good.

Accent— you love hearing him say anything in that gorgeous accent and he knows it, thus he sweet talks you, getting you closer and closer to your orgasm.

He checks in on you— the occasional “doing okay, Darling?”, “use your words, tell me, princess,” and “I’ve got you, just ride it out,” make it very personal and sweet amidst it.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Not really a thing with him, if he wants it he’s going to wait, he loooves sexual tension/anticipation, it makes the sex 10x better. 

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Temperature play—ice. He loves watching your skin shiver as he trails a path across your body with an ice cube. Also, he’ll kiss you and have a sliver of ice in his mouth, sliding it against your bottom lip with his tongue.

Handcuffs— either way (see D), it’s the challenge for him, and the look of them and you that he loves so much. Also loves the feeling of them against him when you’re clinging on to him.

Has a bit of a kink for you being the only one undressed— this is where you just rolling your hips down on him hard, holding close with two fingers behind his belt buckle comes in. Also, thigh riding, he loves to see you get yourself there, only occasionally helping out, loving how desperate you are for his attention, physically.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Bedroom— it’s the atmosphere of the room that’s amazing, it’s intimate, silk sheets, candles, old wooden bed frame posts that have bruised your back from being pushed against. He likes to see your skin glow in the candlelight with a slight shimmer from the sweat you’re breaking together

Cars— those classic cars have had a Titanic moment or two. It’s extremely intimate, and the sound of your breaths, moans, and screams sound great in a tightly contained area. 

Shower— warm water cascading down your body, keeping you nice and wet in every way. The shower’s obviously lavish and has plenty of room, plus glass walls.

↳ similarly, bathroom countertop sex— with the room still humid and hot, you’re set atop the cool counter’s surface, back pressing against the mirror as you hang on to the edge or the faucet head for some grounding.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Seeing you undress— watching you slip of out a dress, casually pull a sweatshirt over your head, shimmying out of your jeans, etc. he just loves seeing more and more of your skin slowly become exposed. Which makes changing in the morning a longer process than need be.

Kisses— making out with him enough will get him pretty turned on, French kisses, love bite kisses, soft and sweet, really enough of anything and you’ll find you finally have a little control when you pull back and he leans in, not wanting to break the kiss.

You in his clothes— dress shirts, sweatshirts, his jacket, you name it, he likes to see you wearing his things.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Nothing demeaning— he wants to make you feel worshiped, perfect, and on cloud nine, so it’s a no go to the exact opposite

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Giving— for starters he likes to have the leverage in situations and you at the mercy of his mouth counts. He’s phenomenal at completely and totally getting you all the way there with just his mouth. His hands are always either holding your hips down, or stroking along your legs, outside, inside, caressing your calf etc. 

↳ when you try to close your legs, he easily pushes the inside of your knee back out again, with a chuckle you can feel vibrating against your clit.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Two types: slow, sensual, and deep & hard, dominant, and passionate 

↳ slow, sensual, and deep: it’s extremely romantic and makes you feel adored, he takes time to get every sense awake in your body before giving you what, by that point, you desperately want. And when he does it’s almost instantly met by you softly sighing with a smile, “right there, baby,” as you flutter your eyes closed, lips parting.

↳ hard, dominant, and passionate— he’s fucking you like he hasn’t seen you in years. It’s a little rough, sometimes kinky, very dominant sex. You have some seriously intense, pupils blown with pleasure, screaming orgasms that leave you shaking, not to mention unable to walk straight. Typically includes multiple orgasms for you.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He’s not opposed to them at all, the amount of time doesn’t determine the quality with him.

For example: you’ve definitely fucked in a club bathroom before (these are nice, fancy clubs)— already making out you pull him into the room and he kicks the door shut, locking it. Setting you on top of the counter roughly, you get at it. Desperately holding onto the edge of the countertop as he fucks you, kissing your neck and holding your hips in place.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Not particularly— if there’s any shake up you want to try or add, you definitely talk about it first, having a comfortable atmosphere during sex is always important to him so you can feel safe and boundaries are set.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Not including teasing / oral, typically two— and those are two very intense rounds, it’s not a quickie. Proper sex with him lasts a good while, so brace yourself if you make it to a third round. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

A whole lot— it’s exactly that, unfair. With how much he teases you, you’ll be dripping wet before your clothes are even entirely off.

Playing hard to get— oh yes, he plays that game with you, if you’re trying to subtly come on to him, he’ll act like he has no idea what you’re trying to imply, making you more frustrated and him happier seeing you want it so bad but trying to counter his calmness.

Leaving you to think about it— he’ll start the foreplay, but then in the middle tell you that he’s needed elsewhere, leaving you to think about what he had started all day long, this usually results in you wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him deeply the instant he walks back through the door

At events— typically well behaved, unless it’s completely boring. He’s had his hand under the table and up your skirt/dress more than once though, quickly pulling away when you were almost there. This is when sex when you’re barely through the front door happens.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He’s personally relatively quiet— usually it’s because his mouth his preoccupied with bruising and musing your skin, but in between there’s throaty breaths and sweet nothing whispered.

Prefers to hear you— seriously, he loves hearing every whine, moan, whimper, scream, breath, gasp, and giggle you make.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants)

Plenty to be satisfied by— above average, but he’s not the guy to talk about it. If you have the pleasure of knowing, then you know full good and well.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

It’s pretty damn high— he just really really knows how to hide it until it’s the exact moment. He has a lot of sexual charisma without even trying, yet he typically remains totally calm about it until you’re the first one to take action, asking or physically.

HOWEVER— there are days where you’re headed out the door, and he catches a glimpse of your cute outfit. As you’re saying goodbye he catches you gently by the wrist and starts walking with you towards the bedroom “Baron,” you giggle, tossing your head back and following his lead, “I’m going to be late.” Catching up with him at the door, he wraps his arms around you, pulling you close, “you’re not going to be late,” he caressed your cheek, “you’re going to be altogether absent.”

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

You definitely fall asleep first— he likes watching you fall asleep afterwards, his fingertips still ghosting across your skin, as you make sure to keep yourself close to him. 

[marlena-immortale]

New Experiences: Part 1

Summary: Damiano wants to explore a new kink and is nervous to bring it up with you, but you ease his nerves. 

CW: SMUT, masturbation, anal play, choking, d/s dynamic (dom reader), dirty talk, discussion of pegging 

Word Count: 2.3k

Damiano David is a confident man. Anyone that’s met him can see it. He knows he’s hot and he doesn’t care what other people think of him, except for you. He holds your opinion very highly and definitely cares what you think about him. So when he discovers something new about himself that he wants to try out, he is very hesitant to bring it up to you. He knows that you’d never judge him and you’d probably even be into it, but his nervousness seems to still be weighing on him. 

A few weeks ago, Damiano was scrolling through Instagram when he found a post of a man dressed in panties, arching his back and bent over, with a woman’s hand on his back pushing him down. He could feel his cheeks heat up and couldn’t help but screenshot the picture (for research purposes only of course). He didn’t know why it had such an effect on him but he decided to file that away to deal with at another time. 

-------

Days later, you were out with your friends and Damiano had the whole house to himself. He lays down on your shared bed, cuddled up in the freshly-washed sheets. He opens his phone and finds the picture his mind just won’t let go of. Without realizing it, his other hand drifts down his own body, pretending it’s the girl’s in the picture, or better yet, your hand. He imagines your breath in his ear as you push him down into the mattress. His hand tucks inside his underwear and starts playing with his half-hard dick. 

He lets out a frustrated moan as he imagines your hips pressing into his ass. He puts his phone down, his imagination more than enough now, and brings his other hand down the back of his underwear, reaching in as he shifts to lean more on his side. His finger makes its way down further and he presses it lightly to his hole. He gasps at the new sensation but it turns into a moan once he decides that he really likes the feeling. He lets himself experiment a bit and starts rubbing little circles against his rim. His mind clouds with thoughts of you telling him what a good boy he’s being, moaning so loud and making such pretty noises while he explores himself. He can feel this new sensation all over his body and instantly knows that this will be a staple in his self-pleasure routine from now on. 

His other hand quickens its pace on his cock as he reaches his climax much quicker than expected. He can feel his hole contract on the very tip of his finger as he cums all over himself, his body shaking with pleasure. He sits there for a moment, processing what he just did and how good it felt, realizing that he definitely has to work up the courage to bring it up with you now. 

-------

The next day, he wakes up to an empty bed and the smell of coffee and carries himself to the kitchen to find you making espresso. You turn around to see your lovely boyfriend clad only in his snug underwear and open oversized flannel falling off his toned shoulders. A smile spreads across your face at the sight, pouring two cups of coffee. You can tell that he seems a little nervous for some reason by his hesitancy to walk closer to you like he normally would. He stays rooted by the doorway, shifting his weight from one foot, to the other, to the doorframe, and back. 

“Everything ok baby?” you ask while setting cups down on the table in front of him and pulling out the two chairs and sitting down. Damiano follows your lead and sits across from you, taking a sip from his coffee. 

“Yeah, everything’s fine…. I just have something I wanna talk to you about,” he confesses, his eyes casting down at his cup held tightly in his hands. 

You try not to get nervous yourself at his hesitancy to tell you. “Okay, what is it? You can tell me anything,” you respond, reaching to take one of his hands in your own, stroking his thumb. The gesture calms him down a bit and he takes a deep breath before replying.

“There’s something new I want to try…. like, in the bedroom,” he says, attempting to maintain eye contact the whole time. You instantly relax, a small smile now on your face, knowing it’s not anything serious and that you’d be happy to try anything he’s interested in.

“I’ve been thinking that maybe we could try…. pegging?” he says, surprised at his own hesitancy to admit his secret to you. You’re not sure why he was so nervous, it’s not like you haven’t casually brought it up before or joked around about it. In fact, you’re more than willing to try it out with him and already have some fun ideas swirling around in your head about how this could go. 

“Is that all? I’d love to fuck you darling,” you offer with a smile, threading your fingers through his own now sweaty ones. His face fills with relief and he lets go of some of the tension in his shoulders. “How about we go to my favorite sex shop and pick something out together?” you offer. 

“That sounds good. You’re really into this right? You’re not just doing this for me?” 

“Oh trust me, I am most definitely into this,” you say as you stand up and stalk over to his side of the table, climbing onto his lap, running your hands over his chest. “I can’t wait to have you trembling beneath me, my cock deep inside of you,” you whisper into his ear. You hear a soft whimper come from his mouth.  

Your words ease his worries, and also makes his heart beat a little faster and breath get a little heavier. You take his jaw into your hand and guide him to look up at you as you continue, “I’ll take it slow though baby, don’t worry. I’ll have you all stretched out and ready for me. You’ll be making such pretty noises for me, I promise it’ll feel so good”. You can see his eyes dilate and feel him getting a little excited when you shift your hips in his lap. Your hand travels lower to wrap lightly around his neck and his head tilts up, allowing you more access to feel his blood pumping under his skin. “How’s that sound baby boy? Do you like the sound of that?” 

He nods dumbly and you let him try again. “Words sweetheart,” you urge. 

“Yes, yes that sounds… really nice”.

“Yeah? Good. Why don’t you use that pretty voice to tell me exactly what you want” you whisper. It’s so easy for you to have him blushing and whimpering like putty in your hands. You just barely tighten your fingers around his throat and listen to his breath hitch and a pathetic noise leave his mouth, surprising even him. 

“I want you…” he trails off. 

“Aww, did my baby get all shy?” you coo at him. 

“I um, I want you to… I want you to shove your fingers inside me and thrust so deep I can feel you everywhere. I bet you’d just love to see me all helpless and fucked out,” he says, his bratty energy coming out in full force. His eyes are dark and lidded as he looks at you with a smirk. You raise an eyebrow, a smirk appears on your own face, seeing how he wants to play this game now. 

“You’re right baby, I would love that, to have you writhing and desperate, grinding your hips down onto me,” you say with a tight grip on his throat and the other hand slipping down to his inner thigh for emphasis. A broken whine escapes his pretty lips and you feel his erection growing against your ass. 

“But I guess you’ll just have to wait for now,” you say with a cocky smile, and swiftly lift yourself off of him with a quick kiss to his cheek, leaving him turned on and missing the feeling of you on his lap. 

-------

   The next day, you’re on your way to the sex shop, Damiano practically hanging off of you as you walk to the entrance, a lazy smile plastered across both of your faces. When you get to the shop, you immediately guide him to the section in the front where you know the strap-on harnesses are. His cheeks heat up, imagining you wearing it, and his head instantly goes to burrow into the space between your neck and shoulder. You run your fingers through his hair, stroking his scalp soothingly and when you see that it’s just an embarrassed smile on his face and not anything bad, you pick out a nice leather harness and lead him to the dildo section. 

You can tell that he’s getting all shy and a little subby so you decide to play with him a bit. “Why don’t you pick out one you like, sweetheart?” you ask him, your fingers tilting his chin up and to the wall of dildos in front of you. He looks around, flustered and slightly overwhelmed by all the decisions. He’s still attached to your side, acting less bratty than usual, being too out of his element to attempt to annoy you. This sweeter side of him is just about the cutest thing you’ve ever seen and you plan to see just how sweet you can make him. 

“I want you to pick it out for me,” he whispers, still a little ashamed even though there’s no one nearby. 

“Are you sure baby?” you ask, honored that he trusts you to make the best decision for him. 

“Yes,” he says, nodding while pawing at your waist like a little puppy wanting all of your attention. You melt seeing him be so cute and submissive for you. 

You look to the wall of dildos and find the perfect one; a pretty pastel pink one that’s as close as you can find to Damiano’s actual size, “so you can get a taste of your own medicine,” you say with a wink, placing it in your basket. 

His blush deepens pinker than the dildo realizing that he’s intimidated by his own length. You guide him further into the store, the both of you still with stupid smiles across your face, so enamored and in love with each other. You find the lingerie section and pick out a pretty white lacy set for him, knowing he loves the feeling of lace against his skin and knowing just how sexy  he’ll look in it.

You pick up a few more supplies you’ll need for the big night and check out at the counter before walking back to the car. As soon as you put the bag in the backseat and get situated in your seat, you look over at your beautiful boyfriend and sub to find him looking more embarrassed than he has been all day which was strange considering you’re alone now and not staring at a wall of dildos. 

You look down to see the cause of Damiano’s embarrassment; the growing bulge in his pants. You smile, knowing how shy he gets about getting hard so easily. 

“Aw, my poor sensitive puppy, always so easily turned on,” you say, leaning in close, your breath on his neck and your fingers brushing gently across his clothed erection, teasing him. As soon as he whimpers and starts to buck up into your hand, you sit back up and start the car. 

“Nooo, please touch me,” he whines when you start pulling out of the parking lot. 

You laugh and respond, “Well if you behave like a good boy, I’ll give you a nice reward when we get home”. He pouts but doesn’t say anything else. “Are you gonna be a good boy for me?”

“Yes, I promise,” Damiano desperately responds, needing some sort of release. 

“Okay then, I want you to unzip your pants, pull your cock out, and make yourself cum,” you instruct him, keeping your eyes on the road ahead of you. His hands immediately fumble at his zipper, trying to get it down as quickly as possible. He pulls his pants and underwear down just far enough to pull himself out of them and immediately begins softly stroking. You can feel yourself getting turned on hearing his noises beside you as you navigate your car along the highway. He gasps as his thumb rubs across his tip, his head thrown back and hips moving of their own accord.    

“C’mon baby, I know you can do better than that,” you encourage him condescendingly. 

“Please, I need your hand,” Damiano begs you as he desperately strokes himself, staring at your hands clutching the steering wheel. 

“Aw honey, I know you can do it yourself. You’re being such a good boy for me,” you say. Your words bring him closer to his climax as his hand speeds up on his cock. The car fills with the beautiful sounds of Damiano’s moans and gasps and quiet whimpers of your name that barely are able to make it past his lips. He only needs a few more strokes until he’s loudly moaning and spilling all over his own hand and shirt. 

“This is gonna be fun,” you say, a big smile on your face as Damiano catches his breath, recovering from his orgasm.

[huenjin]

phobia.

pairing — bang chan x reader

word count — 2.7k words

ratings — 18+

genre — some slight fluff and smut, includes face sitting, cunnilingus.

note — this is the most domestic relationship thing i've written on this blog so far. lmao, i watched chan's room, ep.1 while writing this,,,and at this point, i'm just doing like an unofficial countdown to national boyfriend's day, of sorts, ha! d-3 and here we are. i haven't ever been this content writing for a boy group as much as skz. *cries in alien language*

You are snuggling against Chan, your head on his broad chest as he plays with your hair and your fingers casually and playfully tapping his chest in a rhythm, only to trail downwards slowly. He turns his head slightly to kiss the top of your head.

And just maybe you were horny. There's no other explanation to the hand of yours that slowly trickles its way down to place itself over your boyfriend's crotch.

"Y/N," his voice is laced with strain and you chuckle, kissing the side of your boyfriend's chin. "Don't—"

"But—"

"I mean, unless you intend to solve it after you cause it."

"What if I don't?"

"Sneaky little rat," Chan gasps and he wraps his arms tightly around you, snuggling you closer into him and you laugh.

It is in moments like these that your heart flutters, swells and then bursts with nothing but love for this man that you call yours in this moment. With eyes that sparkle like they can bear every single star in the galaxy and with arms that could possibly hold the whole world with the love he has, he still chooses to hold you close and keep you in his arms and call you his whole world. He chooses to rewrite the stars no matter what happens, all to keep you close to him.

"Do you want me to eat you out?"

He pushes you slightly away from him so that he can look at you as he asks. There's a lot more to the eyes that plead to you though, as if he needs something more secretly.

"Randomly?"

"It's not complete random," he mumbles and you sit up, your arms unwrapping from his physique. You stare at your boyfriend, expecting him to continue on his sudden proposal. And then he drops it.

"Sit on me."

"Huh?"

You are about to sit on top of him, hovering over his crotch when he holds your thigh, mid air, and you look at him, in confusion, "Chan?"

"On my face."

Your eyes widen and you drop you leg back onto the mattress. You're holding him tighter, staring at your boyfriend in surprise and more of a what-the-fuck look.

"You're kidding, right?"

Chan sits up slightly, his arms supporting his body weight up from behind. He bites his lower lips as he looks at you, "Do I look like I'm kidding?"

"But Channie—"

"Why don't you give it a try? If you still don't like it, we could stop?"

And when your eyes show a flicker of hesitance, Chan lays back down again and pulls you forward. You cup his face and kiss him, holding his lower lips between yours as you try dragging it out for as long as possible. Chan holds you as you direct the kiss and he moans into you, before pulling back and mumbling, "You'd definitely be great at it."

You pull back and shimmy out of your shorts and panties, Chan's white shirt still on you. Your boyfriend looks at you in awe, like you're the literal sunshine in person and that he was nothing short of a blessed man on earth in this moment.

With unsure, wobbly steps, you crawl over to the side of Chan's face and sit on the back of your ankles as you look at him, "What if I'm too heavy?"

"You couldn't be heavy for me, baby," Chan laughs, and it's so light and soft that it eases you; that maybe, just maybe this would be a good experience. "You're the perfect size for me. You're like my other half. We are compatible. Remember, when you even got our horoscopes matched!"

"But that's a different thing! And my mother did that." You laugh at the memory. It was a year back when you asked Chan for his entire birth or natal chart and even though he persisted and asked you why you required it, you couldn't tell him till you had it, or more like your mother had it. She had been the mastermind behind the entire scheme. Chan learns of it later that day though — when your mother calls him when she couldn't reach through you.

And your mother being the ever jovial person she is, tells your boyfriend of how good the two of your marriage compatibility was. Chan had the best night of his life that day, laughing to you about it and how he'd marry you even if the compatibility had turned out to be crap.

Chan shakes his head and pulls at your thigh, "It's not now. You're my everything. My sun, my moon and my stars."

"You're sugarcoating your words to get me to sit on your face, aren't you?" You laugh, squinting your eyes in response at how adorable and desperate Chan looked at that minute.

Your boyfriend dramatically gasps, hand clutching his chest, hovering right over his heart as he closes his eyes and shakes his head, "How could you doubt my love, my darling," before bursting out into a fit of laughter and confessing, "Was it that obvious?"

"You're a drama queen." You hit his chest and he kisses your nose. "If it gets too overbearing, you'll tell me, right?"

"One hundred percent," he smiles and with that confidence, you lift your leg over his face and sit in such a way that your vulva was right in front of Chan's face, currently glistening from all the anticipation.

"God, you're beautiful," Chan mumbles to himself as he lifts his arms up slightly to grab your thighs, pulling it slightly closer to his face, leaving you like this — your knees dig into the pillow by the side of your boyfriend's face, your core hovering over his face so close that his breath on the skin by the side edges you, running a tingle down your spine.

"Come on, Y/N," he chuckles against your thigh, kissing it and laying out small kisses upwards. "You should know by now that you are not going to break me. Trust me." You look down at your boyfriend and you can't help but agree that it's the first time you're looking at Chan like this and he's still so beautiful.

"I know," you sigh, force downwards to your knee as you lower yourself slightly. Chan is still biting and kissing at your thighs, causing you to cream yourself slightly, embarassing you because he can clearly see it now. You bite down on your lips softly, and after much thought decide to reach out a hand to tangle into his hair.

Seemingly, this is all the encouragement and push your boyfriend needed because now Chan's hands lift themselves, hands on your hip before he pulls you down to come closer on to his face, knees digging into the pillow so much that Chan's face lifts up.

And then Chan's tongue is pressed flat against you. He slowly drags it against your slit, like a kitten with its soft licks and then proceeds to press a kiss to your clit when he gets to the top. You're breaking. You had such a strong conviction that you'd dislike this that you can't help but want to move your hip, to want more of his tongue — to want more of the wet muscle against your now sopping core.

Your legs relax just a bit and you willing push his face against his. Chan's face is still hurried into your core, head focussing on nothing but your pleasure. Chan licks another stripe before wrapping his lips around your clit and sucking on it, loud noice of suckle resonating and causing you to move your hips slightly, just to test if it was alright. Turns out Chan loves it because he presses his head further back, hand moving downwards only to place them against your thighs to spread them apart slightly and to see how wet you are all because of him. You look down only to find Chan's eyes shut, lips chasing after your wet ones, tongue protruding out and small whines leaving him that does nothing but harness and comfort your dominant side.

You realise that Chan was still taking it slow, making sure you were comfortable with this and that you were enjoying every single bit of it. The more you let yourself relax and settled onto his face, the more his attention grew. And when Chan knew you were comfortable enough, he grips your hips, hands quickly snaking behind and pulls you further — unimaginably — down. His jaw opens wide and he draws his tongue up and down, lapping at your slit like it's an eternal drink. His warm muscle circles around your clit, causing you to shiver in his hold, chills send up your spine.

Your eyes close, the pleasure unimaginably good as you stretch your left hand to hold the bed post and the other tangles itself amongst Chan's hair roots, pulling it slightly everytime you felt the knot in your stomach tightening. Chan circles around your dripping hole, tongue teasingly poking and pressing in before it is gone again. Your hip gyrate against his face almost like it has a mind of its own. His nose nudges occasionally against your core and your mound that has you biting the insides of your mouth to suppress a large moan.

Chan keeps a rhythm as his tongue laps against your sopping lips, paying equal attention to every part that it send your receptors into snap, endorphins releasing slowly in the build up. His tongue takes in every bit of your wetness that you are left gasping, hips moving against his tongue and eyes squeezing, as your mouth left nothing but his name like a mantra.

Your thighs shake in the pleasure, torn between collapsing and embracing the feeling and you know, for sure, that had it not been for Chan's iron grip on your thighs. Not that Chan seemed too interested in being given the space for him to breathe with how eager he is to bring your hips closer to his face, barely giving him space to breathe.

Slowly and almost what seemed too short, it is all too much for you, the constant sucking and licking and feeling of his warmth against your dripping core. Chan's tongue finally slips into your core and before you really could grasp understanding of what exactly you were doing, you are here, grinding on his face, rocking between his nose pressed against your clit and his tongue buried as far as possible inside you.

Chan moans in ecstacy, his tongue feeling the pressure from your muscles tightening. The slight vibration is enough to slowly spiral you and draw out another loud moan from your dry throat and out through your coral lips. One of his hands grips your thigh, digging in his fingers and the other splays out flat on your back.

It's like all your misconception about this is thrown out through the window. You groan out loud, knuckles turning white as you grip on the bed post tightly as he worked against your slit, letting your hips move as they wished now, his grip on your hips a lot lighter. Your other hand in his hair switches between pulling and petting. You try to focus on the wall in front of you but your vision is all blurry in the slowly becoming euphoria. You can't help but let out small praises in between breaths, "You're a good, good boy," and "Fuck, look at how needy you are," and in all honesty, even you are surprised by the words that leave you. Though, all that does is get Chan more enthusiastic with each one, his tongue moving even more furiously against you.

Before you know it, the knot that built up seems to slowly tense up, close enough to snap and you know you are on the edge. You try desperately to form words though all you can roll from your tongue are desperate whines and moans and chants for Chan to fuck you up more. You pull on his hair, pulling him closer while grinding against him harder.

And then it snaps as you come, like a rope that is knotted so perfectly, pulled apart till you see the fibres so clearing straining away and breaking. You see the white as you close your eyes, the oxytocin rushing through and you are grinding on Chan's face further to ride it all out, your tongue rolling out the words, "Chan, oh my fuck!" over and over again. Your whole body shakes and your legs instinctively try to close though it just ends up pressed against Chan's face, not that he minded it one bit. Chan licks you out soft and slowly, helping you through your orgasm patiently and you want to cry at how blessed you truly are.

Chan keeps up the gentle attention until you finally decide to push his head back, hand off his hair and bedpost, lifting yourself slowly off his face. Or at least you tried and that should count. Your legs that desperately chooses not to cooperate, feeling sore and muscles strained. Chan laughs at you as you try to lift yourself off and he helps you, hand warm against your wet thighs as he lifts them over his face and to his side. You drop down, sliding against the mattress downwards and Chan coos, "Look at my baby."

“Fuck,” is all you can say, heart racing against your chest after one of the better orgasms ever and you close your eyes.

Chan pulls you closer into him, stroking your cheek and kissing your forehead, lips lingering for more than a second. You finally open your eyes, only to lock gazes with your boyfriend and you smile, albeit a tired yet loving smile. Chan press his lips against your nose and tells you, "I'm one lucky man."

"Yes," you chortle, hugging your boyfriend tighter. "Yes, you are."

You take in the sight of Chan in all his glory. His jaw is slick, light hitting off them and making them glisten, cheeks flushed pink and his lips are pulled into a soft smile at you. His eyes don't leave yours for even a minute and they are filled with nothing but soft love coloured in pastel pink in your head. It makes your heart flutter against your ribs.

"Did you enjoy it?"

"More than I should," you sigh contently. You let yourself be swallowed by the beautiful sight before for just a moment longer, to remember every single bit of this in your head. “Now stop looking so sappy and proud.”

If anything, your comment only makes Chan's smile grow wider. Chan still holds you in his arms but he turns his head to look up at the ceiling, smiling so brightly like a dork. “I know I enjoyed it.”

And then, as if he knew you had your eyes trained on his, he sticks his tongue out, slowly dragging it against your wetness left as residues by his mouth. He licks it all up and then finishes it out by licking his lips and you hate that you find yourself clenching your thighs against each other. Why were you such a putty in his hands and to everything he does? Stupid boyfriend that knows he too hot for any good.

“Think I’ll get to do it again sometime?”

You laugh, kissing his cheek. “Maybe,” you say, smiling to yourself. "Who knows? Guess you'll have to wait and see how this pans out now, right?"

Chan looks at you, turning himself to snuggle into your warmth, wanting to be the smaller spoon suddenly. His head hurried against your chest, nose grazing the top of your breast, he closes his eyes, taking in your natural scent. Your hand finds itself on top of his head as you slowly pet his hair, pausing only when you hear him mumble against your skin.

"I've never minded waiting for you."

[niqhtlord01]

Humans are weird: Robotic Workers to Soldiers

( Don’t forget to come see my on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord )

Taken from the biography “The Fall of Dijballer” written by Uguntus Val

 Breaking a human is easy.

They have no armored exoskeleton, no reinforced scaled skin, not even an enhanced healing metabolism; it is an amazing feat that they have been able to survive on their own planet let alone survive the rigors of space travel.

They are weak and frail creatures of flesh and blood.  One could push them down a simple slope and there was a high chance they could break their arm.

We expected a war with them to be swift and merciless.

Our forces would descend upon their worlds like the waves a ravaging storm and sweep them clean away as we added their colonies to our domain, and continue the glorious expansion of our race. Yet for all our knowledge of human biology we failed to grasp the critical flaw in our plans and strategies until it was too late. The simple truth that could have changed the fate of the war in our favor had we learned it earlier on.

Humans were well aware of their frailty, and they adapted accordingly.

On the colony world of Dijballer we made our first strike. It was a temperate world perfectly designed for year-long farming and capable of sustaining a constant stream of crops to feed a dozen empires when fully developed.

The colony had only been on the planet for ten years and was centered around the initial landing site of the colony ship. A compact industrial center had formed to support the growing colony and several companies had established facilities to support the colony, including several robotics factories that supplied a majority of the work force. What made it even more tempting of a target was that by all accounts it lacked a sufficient military presence, only housing a token police force to maintain order.  

When the war began three legions were dispatched to secure the planet. The twelfth, the third, and the honored first legion that had been present at the beginning of every major war our people had ever fought.

They made planet fall just outside of the main settlement and began steadily advancing through the fields of crops, passing dozens of robotic workers mindlessly going about their work as if the thousands of alien soldiers marching passed was a normal occurrence. The machines were humanoid in shape with two arms and legs, often either using farming tools or manning heavy equipment.

Roughly ten miles outside of the city did we first encounter resistance. We were now in the center of the fields when the rear of the column reported they were under attack. A massive harvester had diverted its course and rammed a troop transport flipping it over. The surrounding infantry opened fire on the vehicle as it attempted to ram a second vehicle. Not being built for military use the vehicle quickly broke down and exploded in a shower of shrapnel and fire, setting several stalks of nearby crops on fire. It was here that the order to halt was given and the column began to reorganize. It was as the Privants were giving orders that the second attack began.

Thousands of farming units sprang out of the stalks on either side of the column like predators of old. In their hands were nothing but farming tools and yet they moved with unnatural swiftness. Before anyone could fire a shot they were among our ranks hacking and slashing us to pieces.

I’ve hear over the years how our soldiers were mocked. How pundits and politicians question how a fully armored legionnaire could be brought down by nothing but farming tools.

Were any of them to say that to my face I would smash their face in; for none of them were there to see what those machines could do.    

They dove and shifted to either side like a blade of grass in the wind. I saw my captain unload an entire clip on full auto at one and it casually darted to either side as if it was nothing but rain as it closed the distance.

When it was within arm’s reach it grabbed it’s scythe and drove it deep into the neck joints of the captain’s armor. The captain barely had time to swat away the metal scythe but the robot merely took its fingered hand and drove it into the unarmored joint itself.

I could hear the captain gurgling blood over the communications net as the robotic monster pulled its hand out of his throat, covered in blood and gore, and stabbed it in again and again and again.

While it was distracted goring my captain I brought my rifle up and brought the monster down with a single shot to the chest. The robot sparked and fizzled as it toppled over, its hand still embedded in the captain as it dragged his lifeless body down with him. I had little time to grieve for my captains death as another trio of farmer units rushed from the stalks at me.

All around me was sheer chaos as the robots swarmed over us like insects. Their fragile bodies meant nothing when their speed and enhanced reflexes made them near impossible to hit.

They knew were the weak spots in our armor were, they were capable of calculating the angle of fire from our weapons, they even somehow knew our ranking system and made sure to target our officers first.

The three that came at me lunged for me to close the distance and that was the only was the only thing that saved me that day. On the ground they could easily dodge side to side but midair they were cut off from that level of maneuverability.

I easily trained my gun and sprayed the machines with a full mag from my repeater rifle. The white fragments of their shells harmlessly bounced off my armor as their broken bodies crumpled before me. I barely had a moment to enjoy my victory before another massive harvester machine drove through our column.

Several of my comrades weren’t fast enough to get out of the way and were swallowed by those rotating blades of death. I heard their screams echoing on the communications net just as I had the captain and then they were cut off in an instant by a blood curdling crunch.

After that it was chaos.

Soldiers fought in tight circles or back to back with comrades as they fought off waves of robots. This went on for hours but to me, in those panic filled moments of terror, it felt like an eternity.

By nightfall the entire field was ablaze with fire just as the robots ceased their attacks. We gathered what remained of our dead and wounded and took stock of the situation.

Thousands of broken robot bodies lay strewn across the ground like discarded dolls, and the burning husks of the larger harvesters cast gloomy shadows dancing in the firelight. We had been out numbered a 3-1 and still managed to survive, and yet the victory was hollow to the core.

The twelfth legion was cut in half and lost the majority of their vehicles during the opening attacks, the third was at a quarter strength and had lost all of their officers, but worst yet was the honored first legion. The pride of several centuries of warfare, the first legion had been entirely wiped out at the front of the column. Their pride denying them anything other than a death on the battlefield as they refused to regroup with the other legions.

What remained of the officers of the twelfth legion was split between retreating to the initial landing zones or to continue with the assault. Only after the fighting had stopped was communication with orbital command reestablished, and the commanders in orbit almost couldn’t believe what had happened.

The twelfth officers requested an additional five legions be deployed to the planet and that the authorization of aerial bombardments. Debate between the twelfth and orbital lasted about an hour before the robots returned.

First signs of danger were the screams and weapons fire of sentries posted around the surviving column. Robots that had been laying on the ground thought destroyed rose back to their feet and attacked wandering soldiers.

The fear and terror spread throughout the survivors as everyone capable grabbed a weapon and began firing at the robots once more. In the confusion several soldiers fell to friendly fire as several panic stricken legionnaires opened fire on full auto blindly.

At the end of that night the third legion was almost entirely wiped out and the new rule of fully destroying the head and body of all machines became mandatory.

The war pressed on for another four months before we finally claimed the world.

All it had cost us was nearly four entire legions against an army of farming units.

The disgrace felt by the military was overwhelming and morale never recovered for the remained of the conflict. What’s worse was that throughout those four months the primary factories nestled beneath the primary settlement had been continuously producing more and more robots. What should have been a simple easy victory devolved into a grueling war of attrition.

When we finally stormed the office of the robotic factories we were able to download files from their mainframe and the horrid truth was realized.

Embedded into every robot humanity produced, regardless of their function, was a sub routine dictating military tactics, strategies, and combat methods. A maid unit designed for cleaning could be switched over in an instant to become a skilled sniper marksman with years of training with a kill count of triple digits.

For all of their frailty the humans had not lost the ability for death and destruction. They had imparted it into every machine in their service effectively creating an army of billions skilled in the art of death.

After the war was over I went out of my way to order one such unit to tend to me in my home.

I often wonder, as it goes about its cleaning work, that if I activated its military mode if I would be capable of taking it; though I doubt I can in my age now.

Instead it serves as a constant remind that one should never underestimate the nature of a being. No matter how delicate and frail it may appear, it may be hiding a dagger aimed straight at your throat.

[itsclydebitches]

The Bad Batch: A Crosshair Analysis

Hello, Star Wars fandom! I have just completed watching—and loving—The Bad Batch, which you know means I now need to dump all my thoughts about the first season into the tumblr void. Specifically, thoughts on the complicated drama that is Crosshair. I have no doubt that the majority of what I’m about to say will be old news to anyone who watched the show when it came out (I’m slow...), but I’m writing it all out anyway. Largely for my own sanity enjoyment :D

I want to preface all of this by saying that the above is not an exaggeration. I love the show and I love the entire cast. My enjoyment in each of the characters is directly connected to my enjoyment of the season as a whole, which I say because I’m about to get pretty critical towards some of the characters’ choices and, to a lesser extent, the writing choices that surround those. Does this mean I secretly hate The Bad Batch? Quite the opposite. I’m invested, which is presumably just what Filoni wants. I’m just hoping that investment pays off. 

But enough of the disclaimers. Let’s start with the matter of the inhibitor chip. I’ve seen fans take some pretty hard stances on both sides: Crosshair is completely innocent because he’s definitely been under the chip’s control this whole time, no matter what he might say. Crosshair is completely guilty because he said the chip was removed a long time ago and he chose to do all this, no moral wiggle room allowed. However, the reality is that we don’t know enough to make a clear call either way. The audience, simply put, does not have all the necessary information. What we have instead is a couple of facts combined with claims that may or may not be reliable. Let’s lay them out:

Crosshair was definitely under the chip’s control at the start of the series.

He was able to resist it to a certain extent, resulting in a pressure to obey orders coupled with a primary loyalty to his squad. See: telling Hunter to follow the Empire’s commands—which includes killing kid Padawans—but not turning his team in as traitors when they did not. It’s an in-between space.

Crosshair’s chip was then amplified to an unknown extent. I’m never going to claim I’m a Star Wars aficionado—I’m a casual fan, friends. Please don’t yell at me over obscure lore lol—but within TBB’s canon, no one else is undergoing that experimentation. The effects of this are entirely unknown, which includes Crosshair’s free will, or lack thereof.

Crosshair then becomes a clear tool of the Empire, hunting down innocents, killing on a whim, the whole, evil shebang.

In “Reunion” he’s caught by the engine and suffers severe burns to his face. One leaves a scar that covers precisely the place where the chip would have been extracted.

Removing the chip leaves its own scar behind. If Crosshair’s was removed, we can’t see that scar due to the burn.

After these events Crosshair seems to mellow a bit. He does horrible things under the Empire’s orders—like shooting the senator—but is still loyal to his squad—killing his non-clone teammates to give TBB a chance, saving AZ and Omega, etc.

Crosshair claims that his chip has already been removed. However, Crosshair is arguably an unreliable source if he’s been lied to or if the chip is still there, encouraging him to manipulate the team.

Crosshair claims it was removed a long time ago, which is incredibly imprecise. As we can see from just some of the events listed above, precisely when the chip came out—if it came out—makes a huge difference.

Hunter realizes this and presses for clarification, but Crosshair dodges giving it. Again, a legitimate belief that it doesn’t matter, or evidence that he can’t say because something else is going on? We don’t know.

Hunter checks Crosshair’s head and finds the burn scar which proves… nothing. As stated above, they wouldn’t be able to see the surgery scar one way or another: its existence or its absence. It’s useless data, as Tech might say. I’ve seen a few fans claim that Hunter was also feeling for the chip with his enhanced senses, but 1. I didn’t catch any evidence of that in the scene and 2. Even if we assume Hunter did that anyway, the chips are notoriously hard to spot. Fives and AZ couldn’t find the chip at first when examining Tup. Ahsoka had to use the force to find it in Rex. TBB themselves couldn’t find it at first in Wrecker. If machinery consistently fails to find the chip on the first couple of tries—it’s meant to be a hidden implant, after all—why would we believe Hunter’s senses could pick it up instantly? Maybe he missed it, or maybe it wasn’t there at all. 

Crosshair appears to be struggling with a headache in the finale, just as he was at the beginning of the season and just like Wrecker was for the first half.

The point of listing all this out is to emphasize how ambiguous this whole situation is. I don’t want to use this post to argue one way or another about whether Crosshair’s chip is really out. I have my preferred theory (the chip’s still in, but only partially functional), but at the end of the day none of this is conclusive. The writing takes us in what I hope is deliberate circles. Crosshair says the chip is out? Crosshair is not a reliable source of information until we know if the chip is out. What other evidence is there that the chip is gone? A scar? We can’t see if there’s a scar. Hunter’s abilities? He only checked once for a canonically hard to find implant—if he actually checked at all. And why would the Empire want the chip out? Well, maybe it has to do with that push towards willing soldiers, but if that were the case, why leave Crosshair behind and have the “clones die together”? By that point he was one of the most willing, chip or not. Did they have to take it out because of the engine accident? Pure speculation. We just don’t know and THAT is the point I want to make.

Because it means the rest of the Bad Batch didn’t know either.

The core issue I have here is not whether the chip is in or out, or even how long it may have been in if it is out now. The issue is that TBB spent 99% of the first season believing that Crosshair was under the chip’s influence… and they didn’t try to do anything about that. They abandoned him. They left a man behind. Does this make them all horrible monsters? Of course not! This shit is complicated as hell, but I do think they made a very large mistake and that Crosshair has every right to be furious about it.

“But, Clyde, they couldn’t have gone back. It was too dangerous! Hunter had a duty to his whole team, not just Crosshair.” True enough and I’d buy this argument 100% if Hunter hadn’t spent the entire season throwing his team into dangerous, seemingly impossible situations to save other people. Crosshair became the exception, not a hard rule of something they had to avoid. They went back to Kamino for Omega, a kid they’d only had one lunch with, despite knowing how dangerous the Empire was. They went into the heart of an occupied planet to rescue not just a stranger, but one belonging to the Separatist government. They helped Sid when she asked and there was plenty of compassion for the criminal trying to take her place. Most significantly, there wasn’t the slightest hesitation to go rescue Hunter when he was under the Empire’s control, in precisely the same place. Every explanation I’ve seen fans come up with—Kamino is too fortified, they don’t know where Crosshair is, they can’t risk Omega being captured, etc.—also holds true for Hunter, yet there wasn’t a second of doubt about needing to at least try to help him. And his rescue was arguably far more dangerous given that TBB knew they were walking into a trap. Going after Crosshair would have at least had some element of surprise.

I think the problem with these justifications is most easily seen in “Rescue on Ryloth” and, later, “War-Mantle.” In the former, we do watch Hunter decide that going on a rescue mission is too much of a risk, only for Omega to talk him into considering it.

Hunter: “It’s a big galaxy. We can’t put ourselves on the line every time someone’s in trouble.”

Omega: “Why not? Isn’t that what soldiers do?”

Hunter: “It’s not worth the risk.”

Omega: “She’s trying to save her family, Hunter. I’d do the same for you.”

The arguments that sway him are ‘Soldiers should help people’ and ‘Soldiers should specifically help their family.’ So… what does that say about their feelings for Crosshair? They’re willing to put themselves on the line for the parents of a girl they met once at a drop site, but not their own brother? That’s the message the writing sends. “But, Clyde, the difference is that they had an advantage here. Hera’s knowledge of her home planet tipped the odds in their favor.” Yeah… and Crosshair is stationed on TBB’s home planet. Even more than them collectively having the same knowledge that Hera does, “Return to Kamino” reveals that Omega always had additional, insider knowledge of the base: she has access to a secret landing pad and the tunnels leading up into the city. That knowledge was given and used the second Hunter’s freedom was on the line, but it never once came up to use for Crosshair’s benefit. 

“War-Mantle’s” mission puts this problem in even sharper relief. Another claim I’ve seen a lot is that TBB only took risky rescue missions because they needed to be paid. The guys have got to eat after all. Yet Tech makes it clear that going after Gregor will lose them money. They’re meant to be on a mission for Sid and deviating for that won’t result in a payment. He explicitly says that if they decide to do this, they won’t eat. They do it anyway. No money, no intel, a huge risk “on a clone we don’t even know.” But that’s not what’s important, the show says. All that matters is that a brother is in trouble. This time it’s Echo pushing that message instead of Omega. When Hunter realizes that they’re about to try and infiltrate an entire facility and they don’t even know if this clone is still alive, Echo points out that they took that risk once before: for him. “If there’s a chance that trooper is being held against his will, we have to try and get him out.”

Yes! Exactly right! So why doesn’t that apply to Crosshair?

“Because he tried to kill them, Clyde!” No, that’s the easy, dismissive answer. A chipped Crosshair tried to kill them. AKA, a Crosshair entirely under the Empire’s control. The only difference between his enslavement and Gregor’s is that Gregor’s chains were physical while Crosshair’s were mental. And again, the point of everything at the start of this post is to show that no one knows when or even if that chip was removed. TBB definitely didn’t have any reason to suspect that Crosshair was working under his own power until Crosshair himself said as much. We might have been able to make that case at the start of the season, but “Battle Scars” removes any possible confusion. The entire team watched Rex reach for his blaster when he learned their chips were still in. The entire team watched Wrecker become a totally different person and attack them, just like Crosshair did. The entire team forgave him instantly and had their own chips removed. So why in the world didn’t anyone go, “Wow, Crosshair has a chip too. He was no more responsible for attacking us than Wrecker was. We need to try to get him out, no matter how hard that might be, just like we had to try for all these other people we’ve helped.”

But they didn’t. No one even considered rescuing Crosshair. They only went back for Hunter and, when they realized Crosshair was there too, they didn’t change their plans to try and rescue him as well. He’s treated as a particularly threatening inconvenience, not another team member in need of their help.

The problem I have with how this all went down is that the team treated Crosshair like an enemy despite all evidence to the contrary. Despite Omega outright saying that this isn’t his fault, it’s the chip, the group seems to decide that he’s gone crazy or something and that there’s nothing they can do. “It’s fine,” I thought. “They don’t really get what the chip is like yet. They don’t understand how thoroughly it controls someone.” But then “Battle Scars” arrives and Wrecker is treated with such compassion (which he deserves!) only for the group to continue acting like Crosshair is somehow different. It’s easy to say, “But Crosshair shot Wrecker” and ignore the easy pushback of, “and Wrecker nearly shot Omega.” Up until Crosshair’s own accusations and Omega’s ignored comments, TBB’s understanding of the chip’s influence and the lack of responsibility that accompanies mysteriously disappears when the show’s antagonist becomes the subject of conversation. This is seen most clearly in how Hunter tries to frame things during his talk with Crosshair:

“You tried to kill us. We didn’t have a choice.”

“Can’t you see that they’re using you? It’s that inhibitor chip in your head.”

“You really don’t get who we are, do you?”

Hunter mentions the chip, but he acts as if it’s Crosshair’s responsibility to overcome it: “Can’t you see…” Of course he can’t see, that’s the entire point of the chip, the thing he currently believes Crosshair still has stuck in his head. But Hunter and the others—with Omega as a wonderful exception—never seem to have accepted this like they did for Wrecker. When Crosshair “tried to kill us” it’s seen as a deliberate act that he chose, not something forced on him like with Wrecker. When Hunter talks about their ethics, he subconsciously separates the team from Crosshair: “You really don’t get who we are, do you?”, revealing a pretty ingrained divide between them. Even Wrecker gets in on the action, the one brother who truly understands how much the chip controls someone: “All that time, you didn’t even try to come back.” What part of he couldn’t try is not hitting home here? Again, for the purposes of this conversation it doesn’t matter whether Crosshair was chipped this whole time or not. The point is that TBB believed he was chipped… and yet still expected him to somehow, magically overcome that programming, writing him off when he failed to do that. He’s consistently held responsible for actions that they were told (and, through Wrecker, saw) were completely outside of his control. Even when we factor in his claim that the chip was removed, TBB has ignored all the evidence I listed at the start. No one, not even Omega, challenges this super vague and strange claim, or seeks out proof because they don’t want to believe that their brother could willingly do this. There’s just this... acceptance that of course Crosshair went bad. Why? Because he was an asshole sometimes? Taking it all as written, it doesn’t feel like the batch considered him a true part of the team. Certainly not like Wrecker or Hunter. As shown, the batch will go out of their way, risk anything, forgive anything, for them. They have a level of faith that was never shown to Crosshair. 

“Severe and unyielding,” Tech says and he’s absolutely right, but I’d seriously challenge this idea that any of the others would have automatically done better if the situations were reversed. It stood out to me that each batch member has a moment of doubt throughout the series, a brief glimpse into how they think the Empire isn’t that bad, at least when it comes to this particular thing. Basically, a moment that could lead to a very dangerous line of thinking without others to stomp it down. Wrecker announces that he’s happy working for whoever, provided they give him food and let him blow things up. Tech finds the chain codes to be an ingenious strategy and is clearly fascinated with their development. Hunter initially wants Omega to stay on Kamino, despite knowing that this Empire has already, systematically killed an entire group of people: the Jedi. Doesn’t matter. She’s still (supposedly) safer there than she would be running with the likes of them.

There’s absolutely no doubt that those three made the correct choice in defying the Empire, but I believe that their ability to make that choice is largely dependent on them having each other. They survive together, not apart, and it’s their unity that allows them to make the really hard calls, like setting out on their own and opposing such a formidable force. But if Tech’s chip had activated and he’d been left behind, would he have muscled through to escape somehow...or would he have gotten caught up in all the new technology the Empire offered him, succumbing to both his chip and the inevitability that if his squad no longer wanted him, why not stay? Would Wrecker have escaped, or been easily manipulated into a new life of exploding things? Would Hunter have been able to push through without his brothers, or would he have become devoted to a new team to lead? Obviously there’s no way to ever know, but it’s always easier to make the right decisions when you have support in doing so. Crosshair had no support. His team left him and yes, they had to in that specific moment, but the point is that they never came back. As far as we saw throughout the season, they never planned to come back. They all talk about loving the Crosshair who existed when life was easier, but they weren’t willing to fight for the Crosshair that most needed their help. When he says “You weren’t loyal to me,” he’s absolutely right. The same episode, “Return to Kamino,” gives Omega two powerful lines that the group rallies behind:

Omega: “[The danger] doesn’t matter. Saving Hunter is what matters.”

AZ: “You must leave.”

Omega: “Not without Hunter.”

The key word there is “Hunter.” Danger, stakes, risk, probability… none of that matters when Hunter needs help. Crosshair did not receive that same level of devotion.

Which creates a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy. The group is upset that Crosshair isn’t rejoining them, but they fail to realize that he has no reason to trust them anymore. He’s not joining the Empire because he’s inherently evil and that’s that, end of discussion. He’s joining it because above all Crosshair wants a place to belong… and TBB has made it clear—unintentionally—that he does not belong with them. The horrible actions that Crosshair took under his own free will (theoretically) came after he realized that doing bad things while under the Empire’s control was, apparently, unforgivable. If it wasn’t, his team would have come back to rescue him. They could have at least tried. But they didn’t, so Crosshair is left with the conclusion that either what he did under the Empire’s control is something the group can’t forgive him for, or they can forgive that (like with Wrecker) and he’s the problem here. He’s the one not worth that effort.

“The Empire will be fazing out clones next,” Hunter says. To which Crosshair responds, “Not the ones that matter.”

He wants to matter to someone and events show he no longer matters to his brothers. So why not stay with the Empire? I mean, we as the audience ABSOLUTELY know why not. Self-doubt and feelings of isolation aren’t excuses for joining the Super Evil Organization. Crosshair, if he is under his own control, is still 100% in the wrong for supporting them, no matter his reasons. So it’s not an excuse, but rather an explanation of that very human, flawed, fallible thinking. He needs to be useful. He needs to be wanted. Crosshair is an absolute dick to the regs and I have no doubt that a lot of that stems from the harassment TBB has experienced from them (with a side of his inflated ego), but I’d bet it’s also due to Crosshair’s intense desire to be valuable to someone. He keeps pointing out the regs’ supposed deficiencies because it highlights his own usefulness. When Crosshair fails to find Hera, the Admiral says that soon he’ll get someone who can, looking straight at Howzer at the door. It makes Crosshair seethe because his entire identity is based on being useful, yet no one seems to need him anymore. TBB seems to no longer want him. The Empire no longer wants clones. Now even regs are considered a better option than him, the “superior” soldier. Everywhere Crosshair turns he’s getting the message that he’s not wanted, but he’ll keep fighting to at least be needed in some capacity, no matter how small. Even if that means overlooking all the horrors the Empire commits.

“All you’ll ever be to [the Empire] is a number,” Hunter says and he’s absolutely right. But to TBB recently, Crosshair hasn’t even been that. He’s been nothing. Nobody worth coming back for. To his mind, at least being a number is something.

I hope that all of this resolves itself into a conclusion that is kind to each side (preferably without a Vader-style death redemption), especially given the still ambiguous state of the chip, but from a writing standpoint I’m admittedly a bit wary. We’re obviously meant to believe that the batch all love each other, but as established throughout this entirely too long post, this season did a terrible job imo of proving that they love Crosshair. Or, at least, proving that they love him as much as the others. If this was really meant to be just a matter of miscommunication, with Crosshair making terrible life choices because he only thinks he was abandoned, then we as the audience would have seen the batch trying and failing to get him out. Or at least establishing a very good reason why they couldn’t take that risk, hopefully with entirely different side-missions so the audience isn’t constantly going, “So you can risk everything for Gregor... but not Crosshair?” I’m VERY glad that Crosshair was allowed to air his grievances to the extent he did, but the end result of that—Hunter continually denying this, Omega walking away from him in their rooms, neither Tech nor Wrecker actually sticking up for him and acknowledging the chip’s influence during at least some of all this—is making things feel rather one-sided. It’s like we’re meant to take Crosshair at his word and accept that he’s this garden-variety antagonist who joins the Empire because yay being on the winning side… despite all these complications that clearly have a huge impact on how we read the situation. It doesn’t help that the show has already embraced an inconsistent manner of portraying chipped-clones. We know every clone has one, we know only a couple clones are aware of the chip’s existence (and can thus try to get it out), we know they enter a “Good soldiers follow orders” mindlessness once activated… yet towards the end we see a lot of side character clones thinking for themselves. Howzer decides that he’s no longer loyal to the Empire, giving a speech where a couple other clones throw down their weapons too. Gregor was arrested because he likewise realized how wrong this all was. But how is that possible? Do the chips completely control the clones, or not? Are these clones somehow exceptions? Are the chips beginning to fail? All of that has a bearing on how we read Crosshair—what were his own decisions, how much he was capable of overcoming the chip, whether that changed at all during certain points—but right now that remains really unclear.

It’s details like that which make me wonder if all these other questions will be answered. Will the story resolve all those ambiguous moments surrounding the chip, or brush them off with the belief that we should have just taken Crosshair at his equally ambiguous word? Will the story acknowledge Crosshair’s points through someone other than Crosshair, allowing it to exist as a legitimate criticism, rather than the presumed excuses of an antagonist? I’m… not sure. On the whole I’m very happy with TBB’s writing—despite what all this might imply lol. Until my brain picks over the season and discovers something else, my only other gripe is not allowing Omega to form a solid bond with Tech and Echo, instead putting all the focus on big brother!Wrecker and dad!Hunter. I think it’s a solid show that does a lot right, but I’m worried that, unless there’s a brilliant answer to all these questions and an intent to unpack both sides of the Hunter vs. Crosshair debate with respect—not just falling back on, “Well, Crosshair is with the Empire so everything he says is automatically bad and wrong” take—we’ve just gotten the setup for a somewhat messy, ethical story. For anyone here who also reads my RWBY metas, I’m pretty sure you’re not at all surprised that I’m invested in going, “Hey, you had one of the heroes suddenly become/join a dictatorship and do a lot of horrific things, but within a pretty complicated context. Can we please work through that carefully and with an acknowledgement of the nuance here, rather than throwing the ‘evil’ character to the proverbial wolves?”  

God knows TBB is leagues ahead of RWBY, but I hope things continue on in not just a good direction, but one that tackles the aspects of this situation that many fans—and Crosshair—have already pointed out. As much as I adore the cast—and I really, really do—it was discomforting to watch a found family show where 4/5th of that family so completely wrote off one of the members and crucially have, at least so far, refused to acknowledge that. I want complicated, flawed characters, but that’s only compelling when the storytelling admits to and grapples with those flaws. We have quite firmly established Crosshair’s flaws in Season One. I hope Season Two delves into the rest of the team’s too.

Aaaand with that meta-dump out of my system, I’m off to write TBB fic. Thanks for reading! :D

[bananaofswifts]

By Paul Tingen

From sketches to final mixes, engineer Jonathan Low spent 2020 overseeing Taylor Swift’s hit lockdown albums folklore and evermore.

“I think the theme of a lot of my work nowadays, and especially with these two records, is that everything is getting mixed all the time. I always try to get the songs to sound as finalised as they can be. Obviously that’s hard when you’re not sure yet what all the elements will be. Tracks morph all the time, and yet everything is always moving forwards towards completion in some way. Everything should sound fun and inspiring to listen to all the time.”

Speaking is Jonathan Low, and the two records he refers to are, of course, Taylor Swift’s 2020 albums folklore and evermore, both of which reached number one in the UK and the US. Swift’s main producer and co‑writer on the two albums was the National’s Aaron Dessner, also interviewed in this issue. Low is the engineer, mixer and general right‑hand man at Long Pond Studios in upstate New York, where he and Dessner spent most of 2020 working on folklore and evermore, with Swift in Los Angeles for much of the time.

“In the beginning it did not feel real,” recalls Low. “There was this brand‑new collaboration, and it was amazing how quickly Aaron made these instrumental sketches and Taylor wrote lyrics and melodies to them, which she initially sent to us as iPhone voice memos. During our nightly family dinners in lockdown, Aaron would regularly pull up his phone and say, ‘Listen to this!’ and there would be another voice memo from Taylor with this beautiful song that she had written over a sketch of Aaron’s in a matter of hours. The rate at which it was happening was mind‑blowing. There was constant elevation, inspiration and just wanting to continue the momentum.

“We put her voice memos straight into Pro Tools. They had tons of character, because of the weird phone compression and cutting midrange quality you just would not get when you put someone in front of a pristine recording chain. Plus there was all this bleed. It’s interesting how that dictates the attitude of the vocal and of the song. Even though none of the original voice memos ended up on the albums, they often gave us unexpected hints. These voice memos were such on‑a‑whim things, they were really telling. Taylor had certain phrasings and inflections that we often returned to later on. They became our reference points.”

Sketching Sessions

“The instrumental sketches Aaron makes come into being in different ways,” elaborates Low. “Sometimes they are more fleshed‑out ideas, sometimes they are less formed. But normally Aaron will set himself up in the studio, surrounded by instruments and synths, and he’ll construct a track. Once he feels it makes some kind of sense I’ll come in and take a listen and then we together develop what’s there.

“I don’t call his sketches demos, because while many instruments are added and replaced later on, most of the original parts end up in the final version of the song. We try to get the sketches to a place where they are already very engaging as instrumental tracks. Aaron and I are always obsessively listening, because we constantly want to hear things that feel inspiring and musical, not just a bed of music in the background. It takes longer to create, but in this case also gave Taylor more to latch onto, both emotionally and in terms of musical inspiration. Hearing melodies woven in the music triggered new melodies.”

Not long after Dessner and Low sent each sketch to Swift, they would receive her voice memos in return, and they’d load them into the Pro Tools session of the sketch in question. Dessner and Low then continued to develop the songs, in close collaboration with Swift. “Taylor’s voice memos often came with suggestions for how to edit the sketches: maybe throw in a bridge somewhere, shorten a section, change the chords or arrangement somewhere, and so on. Aaron would have similar ideas, and he then developed the arrangements, often with his brother Bryce, adding or replacing instruments. This happened fast, and became very interactive between us and Taylor, even though we were working remotely. When we added instruments, we were reacting to the way my rough mixes felt at the very beginning. Of course, it was also dictated by how Taylor wrote and sang to the tracks.”

Dessner supplied sketches for nine and produced 10 of folklore’s 16 songs, playing many different types of guitars, keyboards and synths as well as percusion and programmed drums. Instruments that were added later include live strings, drums, trombone, accordion, clarinet, harpsichord and more, with his brother Bryce doing many of the orchestrations. Most overdubs by other musicians were done remotely as well. Throughout, Low was keeping an overview of everything that was going on and mixing the material, so it was as presentable and inspiring as possible.

Mixing folklore

Although Dessner has called folklore an “anti‑pop album”, the world’s number‑one pop mixer Serban Ghenea was drafted in to mix seven tracks, while Low did the remainder.

“It was exciting to have Serban involved,” explains Low, “because he did things I’d never do or be able to do. The way the vocal sits always at the forefront, along with the clarity he gets in his mixes, is remarkable. A great example of this is on the song ‘epiphany’. There is so much beautiful space and the vocal feels effortlessly placed. It was really interesting to hear where he took things, because we were so close to the entire process in every way. Hearing a totally new perspective was eye‑opening and refreshing.

“Throughout the entire process we were trying to maintain the original feel. Sometimes this was hard, because that initial rawness would get lost in large arrangements and additional layering. With revisions of folklore in particular we sometimes were losing the emotional weight from earlier more casual mixes. Because I was always mixing, there was also always the danger of over‑mixing.

“We were trying to get the best of each mix version, and sometimes that meant stepping backwards, and grabbing a piano chain from an earlier mix, or going three versions back to before we added orchestration. There were definitely moments of thinking, ‘Is this going to compete sonically? Is this loud enough?’ We knew we loved the way the songs sounded as we were building them, so we stuck with what we knew. There were times where I tried to keep pushing a mix forward but it didn’t improve the song — ‘cardigan’ is an example of a song where we ended up choosing a very early mix.”

Onward & Upward

folklore was finished and released in July 2020. In a normal world everyone might have gone on to do other things, but without the option of touring, they simply continued writing songs, with Low holding the fort. In September, many of the musicians who played on the album gathered at Long Pond for the shooting of a making‑of documentary, folklore: the long pond studio sessions, which is streamed on Disney+.

The temporary presence of Swift at Long Pond changed the working methods somewhat, as she could work with Dessner in the room, and Low was able record her vocals. After Swift left again, sessions continued until December, when evermore was released, with Dessner producing or co‑producing all tracks, apart from ‘gold rush’ which was co‑written and co‑produced by Swift and Antonoff. Low recorded many of Swift’s vocals for evermore, and mixed the entire album. The lead single ‘willow’ became the biggest hit from the album, reaching number one in the US and number three in the UK.

“Before Taylor came to Long Pond,” remembers Low, “she had always recorded her vocals for folklore remotely in Los Angeles or Nashville. When I recorded, I used a modern Telefunken U47, which is our go‑to vocal mic — we record all the National stuff with that — going straight into the Siemens desk, and then into a Lisson Grove AR‑1 tube compressor, and via a Burl A‑D converter into Pro Tools. Taylor creates and lays down her vocal arrangements very quickly, and it sounds like a finished record in very few takes.”

Devils In The Detail

In his mixes, Low wanted listeners to share his own initial response to these vocal performances. “The element that draws me in is always Taylor’s vocals. The first time I received files with her properly recorded but premixed vocals I was just floored. They sounded great, even with minimal EQ and compression. They were not the way I’m used to hearing her voice in her pop songs, with the vocal soaring and sitting at the very front edge of the soundscape. In these raw performances, I heard so much more intimacy and interaction with the music. It was wonderful to hear her voice with tons of detail and nuances in place: her phrasing, her tonality, her pitch, all very deliberate. We wanted to maintain that. It’s more emotional, and it sounds so much more personal to me. Then there was the music...”

The arrangements on evermore are even more ‘chamber pop’ than on folklore, with instruments like glockenspiel, crotales, flute, French horn, celeste and harmonium in evidence. “As listeners of the National may know, Aaron’s and Bryce’s arrangements can be quite dense. They love lush orchestration, all sorts of percusion, synths and other electronic sounds. The challenge was trying to get them to speak, without getting in the way of the vocals. I want a casual listener to be drawn in by the vocal, but sense that something special is happening in the music as well. At the same time, someone who really is digging in can fully immerse themselves and take in all the beauty deeper in the details of the sound and arrangement. Finding the balance between presenting all the musical elements that were happening in the arrangement and this really beautiful, upfront, real‑sounding vocal was the ticket.

“A particular challenge is that a lot of the detail that Aaron gravitates towards happens in the low mids, which is a very warm part of our hearing spectrum that can quickly become too muddy or too woolly. A lot of the tonal and musical information lives in the low mids, and then the vocal sits more in the midrange and high mids. There’s not too much in the higher frequency range, except the top of the guitars, and some elements like a shaker and the higher buzzy parts of the synths. Maintaining clarity and separation in those often complex arrangements was a major challenge.”

[thisisgonnafuxkinkillme]

Don’t Call Me That Anymore

Toshinori Yagi  x Reader 

Warnings:

Angst, body insecurity, big sad 

Alcohol

SPOILER UNDER THE CUT!

(Post Retirement All might)

You walked alongside your boyfriend, your hand being loosley connected to his via your pinky. You dragged him to your favorite thrift shop, where you often liked to try on fancy abandoned ball gowns and take photos. Or, on days where you felt a little more casual, you’d search for some interesting clothes to wear.

Everything was fine, the little outing going along as usual. He’d generally stay by your side, his eyes wandering from the dull clothes you often would pick through. 

It was when you heard a small gasp that you knew something was wrong. You glanced at the direction of his gaze, seeing an abandoned All Might figure laying on the floor, the price tag displaying proudly that it was 75% off. 

“Even to be on sale at a thrift store, eh?” he mumbled to himself. His hand clutched his chest, trying to physically push the pain down and out of his frail body. You tried to pretend like you didn’t notice, and guided him to another aisle. Silently, you planned to leave as soon as possible.

---------------------------------------days later---------------------------------

You scrolled through your phone mindlessly, not really caring about the outside world this very moment. All that mattered right now was your loving boyfriend, who was sitting on the other side of the couch. He was mindlessly scrolling through the tv channels.

Suddenly, he paused. You didn’t notice it, that subtle shift in his attitude, the slight tension that grew within him, and the tiny hitched breath.

He clicked on it, and on screen was...him. 

“So, All Might, what’s an average day like for you?” some well dressed reporter asked him. He flashed that crowd pleasing grin as he thought.

He had just finished fighting a villian, and had a small droplet of blood dripping down his forehead, threatening to drop into his intense yet amiable eyes.

“Well, I guess it’s like anyone else’s,” he said thoughtfully, “I just get up, drink some coffee, and-” the man on screen dissapeared, being replaced by a woman showing us the weekly weather. Again, Toshi said nothing, but his eyes were dark and his jaw was clenched. You grasped for his hand as he stood up. His knees popped and his back cracked, only reminding further that he was getting older and weaker. He clenched his fist and dissapeared into the bathroom.

You didnt know what to say or do, knowing that the wrong thing will only make things worse. Your heart ached deeply for him, but how could you help? Could you help?

That night, Toshi came home with something he usually never played with: alcohol. By this time, you had already forgotten about the incidents earlier.

“What’re you gonna do with that?” you teased. He smiled back weakly. Internally, his heart dropped. He’d been caught.

“You want some?” he offered nonchalantly. You nodded, taking a small shot. You never drank either, unlike other people your age, so when the alcohol passed your lips and slid down your throat, you couldn’t help yourself from sputtering and coughing. He patted your back gently.

“You alright there?” 

You nod, smiling a little. If you’re honest, things like that were always so embarrasing. You hated him see you act your age. 

He took a shot, too, smooth and quick. He noticed you stare, and grinned.

“I used to...a little, when I was younger.” 

After the last two words, his eyes grew dark again.

when I was younger.

He poured himself another shot, swigging it down like nothing. You still felt the burning warmth of the shot you’d taken. You couldn’t stop yourself from worrying about how he’d probably be feeling right about now.

“Hey, uh, Toshi... don’t drink too much too fast or you’re gonna get sick,” you gently suggested.

“I will be fine...don’t you worry about me,” he reassured. You nodded, but didn’t really believe him. Is he fine anyway?

You relaxed on the couch, playing a video game on the switch as Toshi occupied himself with the tv and a deck of cards. He loved to play solitaire, even after being mocked by the students at UA when he’d bust out his worn deck during breaks. 

Time passed, swiftly yet gently, but the silence got the better of you.

“Hey, Toshi, lemme get another shot of that stuff”

He didn’t respond. You looked up from the game to see that his cards were all mixed up, reds being on reds and the kings on top of the queens. He had his head gently resting on the cold, wooden table, eyes only staring at the tv blankly.

It’d been quite a few hours since he’d had his first shot, and it definately has worn in. Not too far from his card playing set up was a glass, 1/4 full of what you just assumed was orange juice. You now were suspicious, quietly taking it and giving it a sniff. 

It certainly was orange juice, but there was something mixed with it. The alcohol smell burned your nose. 

Your heart dropped, knowing that that orange juice was to the brim when he brought it in. 

“Toshi...”

He flinched at his name, but still didn’t say anything. His eyes, though glazed over and pitiful, were focused on something. You glanced up at the screen, where an All Might documentary played. 

You bent down to Toshi’s level, where he was sitting on the floor in front of the table, combing your fingers through his hair. 

“Toshi, look at me.”

His eyes lazily found your face. He brought up his hand to your cheek.

“I-I’m ffine, dea-darlin..g..” he stumbled out, his speech slurred and laborious. 

“Let’s get to bed, honey. I can help walk you there,” you offered. He protested futilely, as you pulled his arm over your shoulder and supported his weight with yours. He was mostly deadwight, making his 160 pounds feel more like thousands. You guided him down the hall, slowly but steadily, each step taking exponentially longer than a sober one would. He kept one hand on the wall.

His fingers grazed the frame of a photo. He looked at it.

It was All Might, proudly standing with a group of kids. 

Toshi couldn’t hold it in anymore. He stood up, shakily but on his own, and pulled his fist back, swinging at it. Glass landed everywhere, and a small hole in the wall stared back at him. 

He spit at the now broken photo at his feet.

“yo-you’re not e-ven real...n-no-not any...not anymore...I hate you...” he mumbled drunkenly. His hand fell limp to his side, scarlet blood shining against his pale, white skin. And dripping onto the floor.

You tried your best to hide your shock and you directed him into the bathroom, where the first aid kit was. He laid on the floor, pressing his face into the comforting coolness of the linoleom. You wanted to scream at him to knock it out, and to just get up, but you knew that even if he desperately wanted to, he wouldn’t be sober until the next morning. 

You looked down at his small, skinny form, that lay breathing on the bathroom tile. You'd never seen Toshi, in any form, look as weak as he did now. Your heart ached. This wasn’t him.

Suddenly, he shot up and lurched towards the toilet, emptying the contents of his stomach. You rushed over to his side, moving his forelocks away from his face. He was pale, white as a sheet. The bags under his eyes were deeper and darker, and his usually bright blue eyes were dulled down to a muted navy. Tears pooled down his sunken cheekbones.

"n-no...go- get awa...y"

You said nothing, but ran cold water through a washrag, soaking it throughly. He remained hovering over the toilet, violently retching.

The alcohol was attacking his skinnied, sick body more than he thought it would. As you approached him with the rag in hand, he returned to the chilled floor.

You placed the rag on his sweaty forehead gently, rubbing his arm. He pushed you away as best as he could, still crying silently.

"p..ple-please, y/n...d-don't look at me...n-not like...not like this..." He choked out in-between sobs.

"I'm not going anywhere, babyboy. I'm sorry." You apologize, getting out some first aid supplies for his knuckles.

"...please...jus-just..."

You hushed him, gently taking his bloodied hand. He tried pulling away weakly, but to no avail.

"...let me...let me jus...take care of it...I can..." He mumbled. You paid him no mind as you quickly but effectively wrapped him up.

As soon as you were finished, he was back in front of the toilet again. Not much more was coming up, but the sickening retches and sobs still shook within his frail chest.

You bent down next to him, rubbing his back, whispering small words of praise and encouragement. He began to calm down a little as he sat against the wall of the bathroom. He started off into the distance.

"I...why can't I be like...like him anymore?" He muttered,

For a split second, you were confused.

“Like who, baby?”

His eyes stared into you, harsh enough to scald you. Realization hit.

“All Might?” You quietly asked, your hand moving towards his. He slapped it away half heartedly.

“n-no... that’s-he’s not- I-I’m not-“

He began to rip at his hair, his sobs getting louder and more violent. Fear grew inside of you, not knowing how to contain this small man that was so engulfed in despair and grief that he couldn’t see how wonderful he is as a person, not just as a hero.

Toshi got his worth from what he could do for others. He doesn’t feel like he deserves love, especially if he’s not giving it to someone else in just the right way. If he’s not helping anyone, what good is he? And in his smaller form, how could he help anyone?

You grabbed his wrists, making sure he couldn’t hurt himself anymore than he already has.

“Toshinori, please listen to me!” You begged. He went limp. He couldn’t catch his breath, and he was definitely hyperventilating.

“Take some nice, deep breaths for me, okay, sweetie?” You firmly yet sweetly ordered. You set the pace and he followed, his breaths shaky and labored. He calmed down quite a bit, and you loosened your grip on his wrists.

“Do you really love me?” He whimpered quietly.

“Oh, honey... of course I love you. I’ve always loved you, even before I knew who you were. Who you are.”

“You...you were right the first time. Were.”

“No, baby. When you go out in public, people still know you’re All Might, and-“

“Don’t... don’t call me... that name... please, not anymore.”

You didn’t even know how to respond to that. Your heart ached at his pitiful tone.

“Y/n... you don’t know what people... what they say about me now. They laugh and say that I’m just a toothpick. They... they whisper about how I don’t look so good, and about...” he began to cry again. This time, quietly, privately. He curled up into himself, tucking himself away from you and the rest of the world.

“Well, of course people will say things like that,” you began, “did you ever consider that there were some people who criticized All Might, too?”

“...what?”

“Listen, honeybee, people are always going to be saying bullshit like that. No matter who you are. But guess what? There’s always, always going to be more people who are excited to see you, who will always accept you, and who will always see every beautiful gift you have to offer to this world. I know how hard it’s been for you, but you need to know that you’re still so loved, so wanted, so needed in so many people’s lives.”

“Like who? Who could possibly...who could need someone like me?”

“Me. Toshi, I need you here. I love you. We met when you were in this form, in this very body. Don’t you remember?”

He nodded. You wiped away a tear gently.

“I loved you for who you are, not who you were or what you’ve done. For you.”

Shakily, he whispered, “I... I love you, too.”

For the first time that night, he clutched you closer to him. You pulled his head into your chest, as he nestled into you. You couldn’t help but spare a few tears, but he never knew that.

“Are you ready to go to bed?”

He nodded, his grip tightening around your shirt. You helped stand him up on his shakey, baby deer like legs. You led him down the hall, and he paused at the broken photo.

He gestured towards it, mumbling something.

“No, baby, don’t worry about that. I’m going to clean it all up.”

Finally, you arrived at the bed. You pulled back the duvet, readying it for him.

He laid into the soft mattress, sighing in relief.

You tucked him in, standing up. He reached his hand out, begging, “please...don’t leave...me...”

“I’m coming right back, honeydew. I just need to clean up the picture and turn everything off. Okay? Do you need a glass of water or anything?”

He shook his head. “Let... let me clean it up tomorrow, please.”

You ignored all of his pleas for you to leave him be earlier, but something told you that despite his drunken stupor, he really meant this one. You washed your face and tidied up the bathroom, quickly turning off the tv and getting his cards put up, and finally dumping the orange juice cocktail down the sink, along with the rest of the alcohol. Your heart panged, noting the tiny amount remaining in the crystal clear bottle.

Despite him denying his need for water, you brought him a tall glass of ice water along with a smaller glass of ginger ale, as well as a new chilled washcloth.

He was nearly asleep when you got back, but perked up at the sound of your footsteps.

You urged him to drink just a tiny bit of the water, and he obliged. You praised him heavily, placing a kiss on his cheek, before climbing into bed. He turned to face you, pulling you close to him. He kissed you on your forehead before drifting off into a deep, restful sleep.

The next morning, you woke up to an empty bed. You scrambled to get up and rushed into the kitchen, where you found Toshi sipping a modest cup of coffee, the photo of All Might placed in a brand new frame, proudly displayed on the kitchen table.

“Oh, Toshi! You scared me when you weren’t in the bed.”

He looked out the window, sighing deeply. He smiled at you, saying,

“Don’t worry... I am here.”

[beyondthebarrier]

Starker Festivals Summer Bingo

Prompt: Didn't Know They Were Dating | Title: Rising to the Occasion | Ao3

Summary: The media seems to think that Tony and Peter are dating. In fact, so does Rhodey. And Aunt May. And the team...

Don't worry. Tony sets the story straight.

This is my first proper Starker fic so bear with me!

It wasn’t abnormal for Peter to be alone when he woke up, if he was being honest. Tony was rarely still in bed in the mornings, presumably quick to dismiss himself from the actions of the night before. Peter never minded, usually always able to find the man elbows deep in some project that he might be able to pick the genius’ brain about.

“FRI, can you start me some coffee?” Peter asked quietly, his voice a little raspy from sleep.

“Of course. Good morning, Peter.”

“Good morning, FRIDAY.”

Peter got to his feet, finding his sweatpants from the day before and Tony’s discarded Black Sabbath shirt before making his way directly to the kitchen for the promised cup of coffee. It took a few sips for him to realize that he heard voices coming from the living room - he’d assumed he was the only one in the penthouse. He recognized the second voice easily though so he wasn’t shy about heading that way.

“Look who’s awake,” Tony announced with a smile when Peter and his bedhead popped up in the open door frame. Rhodey looked his way and Peter waved around his coffee mug.

“Hope you’re here on your own accord and not because he dragged you for some nonsense, Colonel,” Peter greeted with a smirk towards the man in question.

“I’m not here for damage control this time, miraculously,” Rhodey replied easily, chuckling.

“In that case, I’ll leave you two to it. Tones, I’m gonna shower and head downstairs. It was good to see you, Colonel!”

As Peter made his way back towards the bedroom, Rhodey looked over at Tony and sighed at the look on the billionaire’s face.

“He looks good on you, Tony.”

--

“Here, May, I’ve got it,” Tony swooped in, grabbing the woman’s empty plate before she could fully get to her feet. Peter rolled his eyes but stood as well, his own empty plate in hand.

“I don’t know what you’ve done to him,” Peter started, exasperated. “This man would rather buy new dishes than wash them at his own house and then he sits here and readily offers when we’re over here. Please, I need to know your secret. I’m tired of coffee rings in all the mugs.”

“Oh it’s easy, Peter. He’s scared of me,” Aunt May said in a faux whisper, winking at Tony before she settled on her sofa with the rest of her glass of wine as the boys worked to clean the kitchen. Tony washed while Peter absentmindedly dried and put away dishes, chatting away quietly to the older man. When Peter turned back to face the man, Tony quickly smeared soap bubbles onto Peter’s cheek, grinning. With a laugh, Peter reached into the sink, splashing the man with the water in the sink, despite the expensive suit Tony was wearing. Tony didn’t seem bothered as he grabbed the young man around the waist and pulled him in close for a hug, getting him wet as well. Peter squeaked, making Tony lean his head back in laughter before kissing Peter’s forehead and letting him go. Only Tony noticed the look that May was giving them both and he just smiled before turning back to finish cleaning.

As they left, Aunt May wrapped both men in crushing hugs to say goodbye. As Tony helped Peter into his jacket, he looked over his head at the woman, smiling.

“It’s our turn next Sunday, May. Be at the penthouse at seven.”

--

“I thought the little spider was supposed to be here? I brought ale for him to try!” Thor announced, holding up a large jug full of… well, not even Tony was eager to try the liquid sloshing around. Peter had been excited with the prospect of an alcohol that would give him the proper effects but Thor was right - Peter was nowhere to be found.

“Maybe he’s just running late,” Tony replied with a casual shrug, even as he slid his phone out to send yet another text to the missing member of the team. It was meant to be a little game/movie night and Peter was usually the one coercing him into attending so his lack of punctuality was bothering Tony. However, it wasn’t until Natasha and Steve also pointed out Peter’s absence that Tony excused himself. They weren’t sure exactly where he was going until they saw the suit fly off from the landing deck, heading in the direction of a shitty little apartment in Queens.

When Peter didn’t answer the door, Tony let himself in with his key, calling out Peter’s name frantically. It was a studio apartment and Peter groggily sat up in bed, blinking at the man who had just rudely interrupted his sleep.

“Pete, there you are. You’re missing game night, why are you- You’re burning up, sweetheart!” Tony sat on the edge of the bed, the back of his hand pressing against Peter’s forehead.

“M’cold,” Peter mumbled, trying to wrap the blankets around himself again so he could lay down.

“When’s the last time you’ve eaten?”

“Not hungry..”

“Okay, you’re definitely sick,” Tony pointed out, jumping to his feet to search the kitchen for food. Peter spent so little time here now that the cabinets were practically barren. There was certainly no cans of soup or really… anything. With a wince, Tony reached for a half-empty jar of peanut butter and a spoon, heading back to the bed.

“Tones, m’not hungry,” Peter whined as he scooped peanut butter out of the jar.

“Sweetheart, you need calories. Just a little bit and some water and I’ll let you go back to sleep. Your body will kick this in no time but it needs fuel to do it,” Tony said firmly, lifting the spoon to Peter’s lips. He opened them, accepting the spoon reluctantly and smacking his lips as he tried to get the peanut butter down. Tony got up, fixing him a cup of water. Between the two of them, they painstakingly got a full eight ounces of water and four big spoonfuls of peanut butter into the enhanced man before Peter gave up, flopping back into the pillows.

“Are you going back to game night?” he asked Tony, a rather pitiful look on his face. Tony shook his head, laying down beside him and wrapping his arms around him.

“No, I’m not going anywhere. Go back to sleep, I’ll be right here,” he assured, running his fingers through Peter’s sweaty curls and kissing his forehead.

--

Peter had decided to leave the tower for his lunch break, the idea of a sandwich from the deli down the block on his mind all morning. It was a beautiful day and he’d been looking for an empty space on a bench when he noticed the pointing in his direction from a few people by a magazine stand. He glanced down at himself, trying to see if maybe his shirt had come untucked or he had trash trailing on his shoe but he didn’t spot anything. However, he did hear the words, ‘Tony Stark’s boyfriend’ come from someone’s mouth and his stomach immediately twisted. He couldn’t stop himself from going over to the stand, dreading the idea of seeing Tony’s smiling face on a magazine cover with some- Oh. It was him. Peter laughed, picking up the glossy booklet. They’d attended a gala on Saturday evening for SI and the photo on the cover was the two of them all dressed up and smiling at each other in front of some rose bushes. ‘Tony Stark and boyfriend, Peter Parker, Rose to the Occasion.’ Peter scoffed at the title, setting it back down and reaching for his phone. He wasn’t sure Tony would find it as amusing as he did but he was just relieved that it hadn’t been someone else on that cover.

Thankfully, Tony didn’t seem bothered in the slightest. He had already known about it, getting the alert from PR hours before, and even seemed a little concerned that Peter might be upset about it.

“Do you want me to put out a statement about it?” Tony asked him over the phone, as if sensing Peter’s slight discomfort.

“You won’t be rude about it or anything, right? Just clarify, sweet and simple?” Peter asked, noticing that he was still garnering a bit of attention. Thankfully, New Yorkers themselves were usually nonchalant about that kind of thing so it was only the tourists that were trying to draw attention to him.

“Of course. I’ll get it out right away,” Tony assured him.

Peter had no reason not to believe him. He thanked him, hung up, and moved further away from the news stand. He muted his phone before digging into his sandwich, taking advantage of the rest of his lunch break before heading back to work. It wasn’t until he was in the elevator going back up to R&D that he noticed his phone was blowing up. He sighed, expecting a tweet or something from Tony laying out the truth but what he found caught him off guard.

Relationship. Tony said relationship. He hadn’t claimed that they were just friends or fuck buddies or whatever. He said relationship. Peter was so hyperfocused on the words that the next thing he registered was FRIDAY’s voice.

“Mr. Parker? Mr. Parker, are you alright? Your vitals are concerning, should I alert Mr. Stark? ..Peter?”

“No! No, FRIDAY, no, don’t alert him, I’m fine!” Peter scrambled to answer, glancing up to see what floor the elevator was at currently. “Please don’t. I’m fine. I’m answering you, I’m fine!”

FRIDAY reluctantly agreed not to tattle just as the elevator stopped at his floor. Peter wasn’t feeling very fine, despite his protests, as he stepped out. He expected lots of stares and whispers, perhaps even direct comments about him ‘dating the boss.’ But there was nothing. Either nobody here had seen it yet or they just didn’t care. That certainly helped matters as he made his way to his table, intending on trying to focus on work but finding himself scrolling through the comments on the post instead. It was full of congratulatory messages from strangers but their friends didn’t seem very surprised. Rhodey, Nat, Ned, even Steve commented, all seeming as if this was barely news to them.

Peter got to his feet, heading back to the elevator to get to Tony’s lab. As the doors slid open on Tony’s R&D floor, Tony was standing there waiting to get on. The man flashed him his signature smile, stepping aside so he could get out.

“I was just coming to see you. May texted, said you seemed a bit out of it. Are you okay? I know the attention can be a lot but if I repeatedly make it clear that I want your privacy to be respected, it shouldn’t get too bad. Trust me, the fangirls will go rabid when reporters get too in-your-face about something,” Tony explained, leading Peter towards his office. Peter didn’t respond, staring straight ahead as Tony closed the door behind them. “They’ll want to protect you at all costs,” Tony continued, heading for the sofa instead of his chair. Peter remained standing, still just staring. Tony finally realized something was up and quirked an eyebrow at him, curious. “Pete?”

“Boyfriend.” Peter said blankly, staring at the man.

“Um, yes? I also have a name you can address me by.”

“Boyfriend.”

“Oookay, that works too. Peter, what’s wrong?”

The younger man started pacing the length of the office and Tony sighed, covering his face with his hands for a moment before regaining composure.

“FRIDAY, diagnose him. Fever? Has he been drugged? Is he having a psychotic break?”

“Sir, it appears that Peter is in a state of shock,” FRI replied easily. “His heart rate is elevated but nothing to be concerned about.”

“Shock over what?” Tony asked, watching as his partner continued to pace. He could practically see the gears turning in the boy’s head.

“It seems that Peter was not aware that the two of you were dating, Sir.”

Tony let out a humorless laugh while Peter came to a halt, his cheeks tinting pink as he stared at the floor. Realizing that there may be some truth in what FRI was telling him, Tony got to his feet, carefully approaching Peter.

“She’s right, isn’t she?” He asked softly, frown lines deeply engraved into his forehead. Peter refused to respond, not even looking up. Tony sighed, cupping the man’s chin and gently lifting it. “Pete? Is she right?”

Instead of answering, Peter’s face crumpled.

“I’m so sorry,” he mumbled, hiding his face in his hands. Tony immediately pulled him into his chest, wrapping his arms around him securely. “I didn’t know that’s what this was.”

“That means I fucked up somewhere, Peter. Not you,” Tony soothed, rubbing the boy’s back. “If it had just been sex, I could understand, but Pete, sweetheart. I go to Sunday dinners with your Aunt. I host Sunday dinners for your Aunt. I take care of you when you’re sick, I let you wear my clothes.. Baby, we practically live together.”

“You never asked! You never used the words dating or boyfriend or-or-or relationship or anything,” Peter defended, lifting his head to look at the older man.

“Eight months ago, we laid in bed and I told you that I never wanted this to end. That I wanted forever with you,” Tony explained. “You agreed. I thought we were pretty clear from there on.”

“I thought that was pillow talk!” Peter exclaimed. “I’m so angry right now that it’s not even funny.”

Tony frowned once more, immediately letting Peter go and holding his hands up in surrender.

“Angry? You’re angry that I thought we were dating?”

“I’m angry that I’ve been holding back for eight months because I thought I wasn’t allowed to have you! I don’t kiss you first or touch you first or cuddle you whenever I want because I didn’t want to be too much for you!”

Tony’s face broke out into a grin, seeming relieved.

“Well, let’s rectify that right away.”

[xuxishortcake]

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 : you want to surprise your girlfriend Yeri with a relaxing & intimate bath

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 : switch!reader switch!yeri smut , mutual cunnilingus, pretty fluffy though overall : 3

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 : 1.4k

hello everyone! i’ve finally posted :D i’ve been quite busy the past few weeks & haven’t had the motivation/chance to write. i hope you all enjoy this quite fluffy smut fic <3 feedback is greatly appreciated ^^

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡ 🧼🌷🧴🌺🍶🤍💐🛁　ﾟ+..｡*ﾟ+

a few candles were lit all around you. you lit, more & more, bringing the tiny torch you used for the others to the final unlit candle. the candles were spread between the sink counter & bathtub, glimmering with warmth. yeri would come over in about 30 minutes, so you wanted to do something sweet & thoughtful just to surprise her. once you were done with the candles, you went to grab the nearby basket of flower petals you had & dispersed them evenly on the rim of the tub & sink. you checked your phone to check the time; around 10 minutes until she'd be here. you started the bath; you ran a hand under the flow of water, checking the temperature, adjusting the faucets every so often. Deciding it was warm enough, you put the stopper in the drain and emptied a bottle of bubble bath as well & a cup of bath salt into the tub of water. finally, you added a few more petals into the water itself. everything looked perfect. feeling pleased with how everything was set, you went & changed into a easy-to-take-off dress. yeri would be here any minute.

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．

a few minutes passed, & you heard a knock on your door. you sprung off of the couch you were sat at & went over to the door. opening the door, you were greated by yeri's sweet smile as she pulled you in for a hug. you felt warm & happy in her embrace. she was in an oversized lilac colored tee with some simple light wash jeans & her hair slick back under a headband.

"hey babe." you said as you gave her a quick kiss on her lips.

"hey, I missed you so much." she said giving you a kiss back.

"me too. 3 days is too long." you replied, running your fingers through her hair. "oh, by the way, I have something for us to do."

"hm? what is it? " she asked, putting her arms around your waist.

"follow me."

the both of you went to your bedroom, you walked towards the door of your bathroom, turning the knob & opening it to a dimly lit romantic scene. yeri's eyes shone & she put a hand over her mouth.

"all of this for me? it's so pretty, wow." you watched her gaze in astonishment.

"yes, of course. I wanted to have some relaxing time together & thought this would be perfect. " you smiled.

"I think it's great. let's get naked already." she laughed, pulling her shirt over her head.

"agreed." you giggled, letting your dress fall to the floor.

yeri undid her jeans & shimmied out of them. you let your dress fall to the floor, unclasped your bra & slid out of your panties. folding your dress, you put it & your underwear together & went to put them on your bed. you returned into the bathroom & went behind yeri.

"I'll do this." you said as you unclasped her bra, her straps falling off her delicately. you moved her clothes onto the bed too.

"thanks." she said, giving you a kiss. you gave her a kiss back & gently held her hand, & you both went towards the tub. she stepped into the water, helping you in after her. you slowly sank down into the warm water, moving your legs so she could sit in between them.

once you two were nice & comfortable, a sudden realization came to your head.

"shit! I forgot the music. knew I was forgetting something." you jokingly smacked your head, even though you were a little bit annoyed you forgot to do that.

"hehe, it's fine." she said, putting a hand on your cheek & giving kisses on your jaw "I think this is perfect."

"I hope so. you know me, I want everything to go nicely." you snuggled into her, resting your head on her shoulder.

The two of you relaxed in the warm water, talking of random topics or reminiscing on memories you had together. you started to leave a trail of kisses down her neck & back, causing her to shiver in delight. she grabbed your thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze before rubbing it with the tips of her fingers. you moved your hands to her boobs, cupping her breasts & pinching her nipples ever so often. you then went dragging one hand downwards to her clit, moving two fingers over her slit. you moved them upwards & slowly started moving your fingers in a circular motion. she gave out a soft moan, resting her head on your chest as you continued to pleasure her. you teasingly dipped your fingers into her hole before removing your hand completely. she groaned at the lack of friction between her legs.

"hey, the waters starting to get cold, want to continue on the bed?" you asked, rubbing her back, evoking a soft sigh from her.

"yes. I feel very pruny." she giggled sitting up.

you both slowly rose up. you pulled up the stopper & went out of the tub to grab the two fluffy towels you had on the counter. you helped her out & wrapped a towel around her body. you knew that towel wasn't going to be on for long though. the both of you walked out of the bathroom & went onto the bed, starting to make out. she ran her fingers through your hair & pulled your head closer to hers to deepen the kiss. you slid your tongue into her mouth & your tongues entangled, the taste of her being so sweet it drove you mad. you suddenly pulled away from her.

"did you eat candy or something before you came here? cause fuck, you taste so damn good. " you panted out, trying to catch your breath.

"surprise ~ I did. kind of figured we were going to fuck so. I wanted to ~sweeten ~things up. " she smirked up to you, eyes gleaming with anticipation.

"well, you sure did." as you went back into her, your tongue slipping over hers.

she held you by the waist as you continued on, indulging in each other. tongues moving in sync with soft pants escaping your mouths here & there. you then broke from the kiss & gave a wet trail of kisses between her boobs & down to her belly. before you were even close to her vulva , yeri spoke up

"babe wait. come sit on my face while you eat me out."

you nodded at her request & slowly sank yourself above her face. she started slowly caressing your wet slit with her tongue , casually dipping into you teasingly & then she started to go at a quicker pace. you started to go down on her as well. lying lightly on her, you held her thighs in place as you delicately licked & gave kisses to her pussy. you both continued on, muffled moans against each other & sending tingles up your spines. feeling a familiar wave of pleasure arising within you, you tried to hold back as long as you could until Yeri started to tremble beneath you as well. coming to your breaking points, you both rode it out together, savoring all of the sweet juices coming out of each other until you both were a panting mess. you crawled off & lay besides her, facing her & giving a little smile which was returned.

"I think we're going to need to run the bath again." you chuckled, caressing the side of her cheek.

"I'm always up for more intimate loving with you." she said, scooting closer to you & holding you in a loving embrace.

"awe, you're too cute sometimes for me to handle." you said, feeling a slight blush come into your cheeks.

"hehe, you know it. " she said as she kissed you gently; you kissed back. you both stayed like that for a while, snuggling & enjoying your peaceful time together before getting up to enjoy another bath.

[depressing-debbie]

REINER SIMP BACK FOR MORE!! If you're interested, of course, fluff alphabet for the absolute blonde of my dreams???

WELCOME BACK, I had so much fun with this one <3

Every time I write for post time skip Reiner it ends up just the slightest bit angsty, so just be aware

Again, I'm using the prompt by @snk-warriors

Post time skip of course! :)

Fluff Alphabet: Reiner

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

The activity doesn't really matter to him, he really just likes being with them. He’d do any kind of activity that they suggest because he loves the way their eyes light up doing things they’re passionate about. But, if his SO likes going on fun dates, he’d definitely be down to plan something. Probably still something pretty small and intimate, maybe like a picnic or a walk through a pretty area.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

He definitely loves his SO’s eyes, especially the way they light up when they’re excited. He also loves getting to watch them while they’re moving around or doing something, he thinks they’re so amazing just existing. More than anything, though, he really admires their personality and spirit.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

Reiner wouldn’t know instinctively what to do at all, but he’d be so concerned. He’d probably just sit with them quietly the first time, and then have a discussion later about what they’d like him to do in the future. And he definitely commits that to memory, so the next time they’re down or anxious, he knows exactly what to do. He has his fair share of negative experience with mental health and image, so he knows at least to some extent what they’re going through, and he’ll do whatever he can to make sure they no longer have to feel that way.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

I think it takes a while for him to actually imagine his SO being in his future just because he’s endured so much loss in his life, but one he finally allows himself to start to make plans, he definitely has a nice rosy little vision for the future. It’s total domestic bliss, with a cozy home, a vegetable garden, and maybe even kids (depending on his SO, of course). He really craves that peaceful security of a boring, stable life because he’s never gotten to experience it before, so thinking of the future makes him really happy.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

It’s definitely pretty equal. He doesn’t go into relationships with any preconceived notions of playing an active or passive role, so it really just depends on his SO and how their dynamic falls. But for the most part, he’s happiest when he’s able to alternate between the two, both comforting and being comforted.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

He’s honestly not great with conflict. He really hates fighting and would never instigate a fight, but when it does occur, he gets hurt pretty easily. He has so much going on in his own head, and conflict with his SO just adds to internal self doubt. But, since he really doesn’t want to fight, he’s always open and willing to make up at any time. 

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

Reiner is so grateful. He is constantly showering them in praise and thank you’s, and he just feels so damn lucky to be with them. Every small act of service or gift from them makes his heart swell, and he goes out of his way to make sure that they they know just how much he appreciates them.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

I definitely think he would be very honest. Secrets put space between the two of them, which is the last thing he wants. He would much rather have an awkward conversation about something than lie to his SO, which would make him so guilty. He also leans on them for support a lot, and he knows that they can’t support each other if they’re not totally honest.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

Reiner’s SO has such a positive influence on him. He has a lot of self doubt and a lot of fear when it comes to relationships and commitment, but over time, he began to let himself rely on them and make himself vulnerable. They honestly probably inspire him to be more open and positive, and their optimism rubs off on him, even if it’s just slightly.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

I don’t think he gets jealous often, but he does have a habit of not dealing with it properly. He would never be rude to his SO, he just starts to pull away because his self doubt keeps saying they would be better off with someone else. It’s not hard to help him relax, though, it really just takes some quiet words from his SO and a reminder that he is enough for them.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

He was really nervous for their first kiss, for literally no reason. He was very careful with his general timing, but in the moment, it probably seemed a bit abrupt just because he was so nervous. He’s a really good kisser, and after the first kiss, it’s a regular occurrence.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

In terms of asking his SO out for the first time, I think he was very nervous and probably make it pretty awkward just because he kept trying to shrink into the background. But if we’re talking about the first time he told them he loves them, it wasn’t awkward at all. It was probably late at night and they were laying in bed together when it really just hit Reiner how happy he was, and how lucky he was to have them. He said it so casually, as if it was already a part of their routine instead of something foreign and new.

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

I think the idea of marriage would scare him just slightly, but it is appealing to him. Again, it’s that idea of stability and security that just seems so cozy and comfortable for the future. He doesn’t indulge in making plans for the future often, but when he does finally let himself think about it, it makes him really happy. He spends lots of time planning the most romantic proposal, maybe even something public if his SO is comfortable with it. The idea of getting married makes him so excited that he wants to share it with everyone. He doesn’t necessarily have a great eye for decoration or color, but he’s so eager to help, so together, they plan a beautiful wedding. Probably small and intimate, and absolutely lovely.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

I think nicknames make him a bit embarrassed, so most of the time, it’s just “honey” or your name. Your name is amazing, and he’s more than happy to keep saying it.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

When Reiner’s in love, especially at the beginning, everyone can tell. He just gives off an air of contentedness and confidence from being with his SO, laughing a bit more often than usual and frequently being caught zoning out while smiling into the distance. It’s almost laughable how much the stoic man’s behaviors change when he’s finally that happy.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

He’s pretty private in general. He holds onto his SO’s hand in public and offers them his arm while walking, but otherwise, they don’t like to show off in public. In terms of how much he talks about them, I think it depends on his SO. If they’re a private person, he won’t bring it up a single time. But if he can tell they don’t mind, he’d talk about them with his friends and introduce them as his SO, and he’d be happy getting to show everyone how amazing they are.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that's beneficial in a relationship.

He’s always warm, even in the middle of the winter. If his SO is ever cold, he offers his jacket (because he’s probably overheating anyway), or he can just warm them up with a hug. It’s really sweet.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

It makes him pretty embarrassed, but he really is very romantic! He can definitely appreciate the cliched romantic tropes, but I think he also likes to be creative. He love surprising his SO to see the look on their face, and he just loves making them happy. When they’re happy, he’s happy!

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

Reiner has a lot of doubts in his life, especially for himself. But when it comes to his SO? There is nothing they can’t do. He believes in them 100%, and he will do whatever he can to support them. 

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

He’s absolutely someone who prefers a nice stable routine. Not that he won’t go out and try new things, especially if his SO would like to, but he just prefers to stick to their normal plans. Being able to plan head is a luxury for him, and he appreciates the calmness behind it.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

He knows his SO very well, and he’s very empathetic. He can’t read their mind, and he does still need lots of communication, but he genuinely does almost feel their pain with them. He’s great support through a difficult time because he can empathize so well.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

Once his relationship becomes serious, it’s one of the most important aspects of his life. Part of becoming serious with his SO is allowing himself to open up to and rely on them, which creates such a deep level of emotional intimacy. He really wouldn’t trade them for the world.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

He makes his SO coffee every morning. If they don’t like coffee, he makes tea, or maybe even just pours them a glass of orange juice. If they don’t live together, he will literally drive to bring it to them. In his eyes, it’s not only an excuse to get to see them every morning, but he likes making sure that they start off every morning happy.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

He’s very affectionate! Sometimes it makes him a little bit uncomfortable to be vulnerable like that, but he likes having his SO close to him. Definitely big on cuddling, again because he likes to be close to them, and because it makes him feel safe.

Y earning - How will they cope when they're missing their partner?

He definitely gets a bit sad when they’re away for a long time. If possible, he likes to check up on them in the morning. Otherwise, he just tries to keep himself busy. I think he also gets a bit anxious when they’re gone because they’re such a source of support for him, so he’s very relieved when they return.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind?

He’s absolutely willing to do what it takes to keep his relationship strong. As much as he loves his routine, he’s always open to make changes that will keep things running smoothly and keep his SO happy. They’re very important to him, so of course he would go to great lengths for them.

[aitarose]

OUR LAST SUMMER (A.MIYA) —❥ pairing: miya atsumu x fem!reader

synopsis: one summer was all the time you had together—all the time you had to bask in the sun-kissed rays and sand-filled beaches, share soft butterfly kisses and feel the comfort of being wrapped in his arms—until his boat sailed off into the sea, forever. 

word count: 3.0k

genre: mamma mia inspired, summer fling, somewhat stuck together, angst, fluff, casual/formal writing, second person

warnings: commitment issues, mentions of suggestive content, minor cursing, heartbreak?

notes: this was an impulse blurb because i haven’t posted any actual fics in nearly a month so here you go lol asdfjl IT’S A LITTLE ROUGH BUT I HOPE IT’S LEGIBLE LMAO AND ITS SHORT AS HELL SORRY JALSD MY BRAIN D!ED

—❥ DIRECTORY

You remembered the first time you’d seen him.

He was a stranger, a man that you’d never once met before—standing smack-dab in the middle of your dock, the place you’d always come to clear your thoughts after hours upon hours of work, though you didn’t technically own it. It was just tradition, an accustom that you’d grown so used to that it seemed like everyone’s daily—well, everyone but his.

There were few people you didn’t know on the island, having been a member of the local family business of hotels and inns. Your little paradise, the chains of suites and saunas that you liked to think were a hidden wonder of the world—hidden to only you and the reoccurring tourists that would stay on your infamous Greek Elysium. 

The usual familiarity was scarce at the sight of his bright blonde hair and sun-kissed skin, light freckles peppered across the swells of his cheeks—no doubt caused by countless hours at sea as he stood beside a large sailboat. He appeared to be a free spirit, much different to all of the others that would find stay on the shores. 

It was a common getaway, an escape from the reality of life and the troubles that came with emotional attachments and labor. Every personality was alike, each one masking the pain of all that tied them down—wishing that they’d ever have to board that boat back to the mainland, and just stay in a world without worries and never-ending surf. 

But the way he was standing with his body language in reaction to the sea, made you think that perhaps he wasn’t like all of the other’s who came and went. That perhaps he was a free spirit entirely on his own, one that didn’t force the necessities of comfort and relaxation on his mind—it just came naturally.

“You lost?” Your voice called out, the sound ringing with the wind chimes against his sails—diverting his attention from the white peaked waves to your melodious sound. He gave you his full attention, immediately focusing on your approaching frame—a look of relief arising on his face. 

He reached behind his neck, scratching the roots of his hair whilst a sheepish smile gleamed in the light. “Thank god, you found me!” He chuckled, the browns in his eyes sparkled with golds and copper, complimenting his overall look perfectly—in all honesty, you didn’t think you’d ever seen such a handsome man. “I docked around a half-an-hour ago, just didn’t know where I was supposed to head next.”

“Would a beautiful girl like yourself happen to have the time to help a poor sailor out?”

Shaking your head, you grinned, scoffing slightly at the obvious flirtation, before walking towards him. Your feet moved in small steps, thoughts dancing around the idea of a summer fling—after all, it wouldn’t be the first time something like this had happened. You, an eccentric woman, one with the island, always seeming to attract men of all natures with not a care in the world.

Maybe he would be your new conquest, your newest mark in the endless journey of love that you never wanted to conclude. Another man who’s mood would turn from complete adoration to disgust when you’d reject his love and send him off to sea—never to be met again. Simply a memory you’d look back on when your past ran wild and smile in nostalgia. 

You plopped down on the end of the dock, head thrown back as your feet touched the water—a refreshing feeling taking over your entire body. The man watched in amusement at your obvious compatibility with the ocean currents and approached you as you patted the place beside you—an open seat reserved for him.

“So, sailor.” You mocked, swinging your jaw to face him with a sing-song tone. “Tell, me. What brings you to my island?”

He raised his eyebrows, creases appearing near his forehead with youthful wrinkles at their wits—not hiding how enamored he was at your playful tone. “Your island?” There was a matched mood in the both of your speech, potential feelings rising in the pits of your stomachs. “I’m sorry, gorgeous. Last I checked, you didn’t own all of Greece.” 

You scoffed, kicking your feet up to splash his ankles—cold sprays of salt water hitting the skin of your shins up to your thighs. “Well, last I checked lonely sailors didn’t talk back to pretty women—or are you just an enigma Mr...”

“Miya.” He replied, concluding the sentence that you hadn’t been able to finish with ease—identity revealed to the girl he’d already festered a crush on, despite it only having been a mere twenty minutes since you’d first begun to speak. “Miya Atsumu.”

‘Y/N L/N.” You held out a hand with a shit-eating grin as he gripped it firmly, shaking your palm enthusiastically whilst your eyes held his—a silent stare down in the midst, the morning sunrise changing to one of noon, reminding you of the ticking time. “And how long did you say you’ll be staying here?”

“Well, I’m here for my brother’s wedding.” Atsumu shrugged, nudging your shoulder with his and gazing out to the countless other sailboats in the bay. “Technically, I’m only meant to be here for a few weeks...”

“...but I’m sure I’ll find something here to keep me longer.”

And that he did. 

He’d managed to find a countless number of reasons to keep himself busy. Infinite excuses not to set his sail at sea—excuses that had nothing to do with the start of Osamu’s wedding festivities, or with the waning fear of his workplace calling him back to play, or even the worry of his heavy pockets running dry of cash.

Perhaps it had something to do with how his heart pounded whenever you were around. The artery nearly jumping out of his chest in the times you’d grab his hand and pull him along the stone-studded paths throughout the tropical trees,  giving him tours of your favorite spots—laying picnic blankets under the shade and sharing piña coladas with pink straws. 

Or the constant days at the beach. How you’d share an umbrella only for it to fly away in the wind—leaving the two of you out in the open rays of the sun, vulnerable to burns that Atsumu always managed to obtain. You later having to help him wash off in a cool shower—concern furrowing at your brows with every wince and whine he’d muster. 

Treating him as your own personal island dweller, you’d become attached at the hip. Neither one of you wanting to be without the other for longer than a day—knowing that your time was limited, but ignoring it all the same. The summer was one of new opportunities and experiences, things that you had already set your mind to—only now having his name next to those goals.

Your first impressions had been correct, he was undoubtedly different from all of the other flings you’d had in the past—and you’d come to realize this on the day he’d asked you to be his date to his brother’s wedding. The brother that had no idea you existed, whom you hadn’t ever planned on meeting was inevitably getting an unexpected guest.

That unexpected guest being you, of course, arriving with Atsumu on your arm and wearing a beautiful shade of baby blue. Osamu and his bride had welcomed you with open arms, no suspicions at all when they’d noticed the genuine look of happiness in the blonde’s eyes—a look that they hadn’t seen come out of him in a very very long time.

“Was it everything you dreamed it would be?” He whispered, lips pressed against your hair—arms holding you close as the gentle orchestrals echoed in the night night breeze. The shadows of candle lit jars and paper lanterns covering your face in defined shades of grey—making you look all the more gorgeous.

You sighed into his chest, taking in his sweet scent, that of fresh oranges and salt—the smell of the ocean never truly washing away from his aura. “I loved it, actually.” An earnest tone spoke out from your mouth, sincere admissions flowing like waves, reaching his ears and giving him little dreams of the future—your future.

“It was one of the most beautiful ceremonies we’ve hosted, and I truly mean that.” Your voice was soft, quiet as to not disturb the calm mood in the moonlight—the stars shining down on every pair on the dance floor, even the young children blowing kisses in each other’s direction, not knowing the true feelings of love, yet wishing for them in their hearts. 

Atsumu took a step back, holding your hand in his and spinning you beneath the stringed bulbs—smiling warmly as you let out an uncontrollable giggle—complaining how he was making you dizzy with glee. He didn’t think he’d ever felt so utterly full of admiration for a single person in the entirety of his life.

With a smirk at the corners of his cheeks he pulled you in, twirling you back around and into the safety of his tanned arms—the physical contact was nothing new to you, yet there was something in the way his palms held yours that made you feel like there were ulterior motives to his antics. 

“Steady there, sailor.” You whispered, slightly out of breath—not only from the tireless dancing you’d endured all evening, but from the minimized distance between your bodies. His lips were a mere centimeters away from yours, so close and also so far. “Wouldn’t want you doing something you might regret.”

He shook his head, leaning in to commit to the thing he wanted most in the world—his fingers reaching up to guide your chin to his, the calloused skin of his thumbs tickling your sensitive nerves and setting free all of the festering butterflies in your chest. 

“Trust me, gorgeous, when I say that I don’t have regrets.”

His words were quickly muffled as you pressed your lips against his, smothering any quips that could possibly arise and drowning them in an ocean of pure desire and infatuation. It felt like you were on ecstasy, the uncontrollable yearning for his intimacy finally being yours to have and to hold—all coming together in one innocent kiss in the middle of an almost empty wedding reception. 

Your palms held his jawline, pulling him as close as possible whilst doing your best to convey your display of passion as small and intimate—not wanting to steal the celebrations of the day from the bride and groom—who’d in all honesty, disappeared themselves hours before, no one having seen them since then.

A quiet gasp rose from your throat as he bit your bottom lip, wanting more even though he knew that it wasn’t the time you could grant his wish—anticipation for the night to come, when you’d leave the party hand-in-hand, rushing from the back of his brain to the frontal lobe as he pulled away.

“’Tsumu.” You breathed out, eyes locked on his with giddiness underlying the tiredness in your voice. His expression matched yours, one of completion and success—patting himself on the back in imagination with the knowledge that he’d won your attention. “What was that?”

He stepped aside, still holding your hand in his, leading you off of the stone platform and into the gallery of cloth-lined tables with scattered guests—drunk in happiness and alcohol, blind to any real-world worries. The moment felt like a fever dream, an event that only occurred in film and television—nothing that you’d ever expected to experience yourself.

But with Atsumu, anything seemed to be possible. The slim probabilities becoming a zero percent error whenever he set his mind to a goal, bringing you along with him every step of the way. His calls out to you raspy from ahead, scratchy from the amount of hollering and applause he’d performed for his twin during speeches and vows.

“That,” he began, glancing back at you as you ran together towards his little villa, “that was only the beginning of the rest of our endless summer.”

And he was right, it certainly was the beginning of something. Something special and real—something that you’d never once felt in your life, right in your arms, right in front of you. He was your perfect match, you were tired of denying it—but there was one thing that the two of you had forgotten in the blissful montage of stolen kisses and sleepless nights.

Every beginning has an end. 

All stories have a final chapter, one that no reader wanted to page through—but couldn’t resist knowing the final outcome of their two favorite characters, what could possibly happen to their relationship, their future, their unspoken and unequivocal love for one another that had manifested on the ink blotched pages. 

Some had happy endings, epilogues in which the main love interests proceeded to get married, have a few kids that’d run around their fenced backyard with the sprinkler system running on overdrive. That was the dream, the dream that seemed so idealistic to most, the ideal life to live—to grow old holding hands against the oak wood of your rocking chairs as the sun set over the horizon. 

But that wasn’t your ideal life, and neither was it Atsumu’s. 

So, your story wasn’t one of those lucky fairy tales that had a happily ever after. It wasn’t a bedtime story that you’d read to your grandchildren or younger relatives, nor was it a time you’d try to forget as it ended right where it had initially begun—on the public docks of your inn house, in front of his weary sailboat.

The only differences being the setting sun rather than the rising dawn and the twinkling stars appearing in the dark sky in contrast to their disappearance in relation to the morning clouds. Perhaps it was the universe telling you that it was all coming to an end, shooting off into the darkness with the explosions of nebulas and constellations. 

“So, this is it.” Atsumu spoke aloud, possibly to you or the emptiness of the sea. The usual warmth in his tone sounding robotic and unkept, unfamiliar to your heart, unfamiliar from the man you’d come to hold such strong feelings for in a mere three months. “This is our last night, our last minutes.”

He turned to face you, hands holding the limp ropes whilst pulling them tight and wrapping them in their holsters, billowing the sails in the strong night breezes—there was said to be a storm brewing, and it was ever so timely to have happened the same night a hurricane was forming in your blackened and broken heart. 

You’d never seen such a sorrowful expression on his face, used to the typical dumbstruck happiness and easygoing nature that was void and lost, that absence setting in the reality of your relationship’s oblivion. He let go of his secured ties, elbows leaning against the railing and towards you as you stood at the edge of the doc. 

“It doesn’t have to end here, you know.” He suggested, his voice shaky and unsure—not knowing what your response would be—not knowing that you loved him, too. “You could come with me, see a world that isn’t an isolated island—we could travel together, see all the other wonders—we could be happy, forever.”

Your breath hitched, chest airtight, all of the oxygen in your lungs at max capacity—catching in your lungs with no chance of getting out. His words had somehow managed to itch the hidden and sensitive regions of your heart—the ones that had always been guarded from others, the places that he’d been able to weasel his way into. 

At the look on your face, he already knew your answer. An unspoken rejection standing stale in the humid air between you, the still distance growing further and further despite your motionless stances. Two broken hearts longing for one another with no resolution to be met. 

He bit his lip, holding back tears in the nightly shadows and nodding his head—believing that he’d been right all along. That his presumptions about you had actually been correct, that he hadn’t been different, that he hadn’t been your person amidst the countless other personalities you’d fallen for over the summers—that he’d simply been another paradisiac fling that you’d thrown away. 

But he’d never been so wrong. 

You did love him, you loved him with your entire soul—your entire existence. There was no dream you wanted more than to be with him forever, to spend every single moment in his company of laughter and contagious smiles. To pepper him in kisses and take morning dips in the ocean as the sun rose over the horizon. 

He was your soulmate, the other half that you never thought you would find—an egocentric and boastful man unlike any other you’d met before. Atsumu was your salvation, but with the fear of commitment and settled life at the back of your brain, you had no choice but to watch as his love faded into remorse. As his undying love was pulled beneath your currents of self-doubt. 

“Thank you.” He spoke, words dull yet also meaningful—full of every last confessional emotion he had to make, full of all the lost ‘I love you’s’ and goodnight wishes in the past seventy-two days of being in each other’s arms. “Thank you for letting me love you.”

And with those words, your heart sailed into the vast horizon—through the swift currents and past the submerged rocks, peaking in the rising and falling black waves. The bright white sail of his stern shading into grey as he became nothing but a speck in the night—lost to the endless sea and unknown future, a future without you. 

A future that you’d never know anything of, communication gone, forgotten between you and stripped away by the receding tides. The tides that had come just as fast as they’d gone—a physical representation of the whirlwind love story that you’d lived during the most memorable summer of your life. As you’d never be able to forget him. 

You’d never be able to forget the first man you’d ever loved. 

taglist of bestie boos <3:

@bokoutoebutmain​ @boba-duckie​ @ryuomen​ @sexy-bee-juice​ @nekomabvc​ @cambodianprincess6

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