#casual friendship meeting
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I love pinkie's reaction just ":3" she knows EXACTLY what's going on between those two
Should they even comment on it or just pretend it didn't happen
#applejack#rarity#rarijack#mane 6#twilight sparkle#sunset shimmer#rainbow dash#fluttershy#pinkie pie#my little pony#MLP#friendship is magic#anthro#casual friendship meeting#digital art#mlp art#my little pony fanart#mlp g4
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MLCB Concert: XSY's Farewell
In truth, I really donât like this part, because it also represents that we are bidding our characters farewell for good.
In the morning, when I was getting my makeup done - in an instant, I returned to that summer. I felt that, to be together with good friends, and then having experienced as sweltering a summer as thatâŚ
Such an ardently hot-blooded jianghu was presented to everyone; to stand here today-- Because⌠Because, during the time of Mysterious Lotus Casebookâs initial broadcast, everyone and all the lianluorens must also be thanked. I know there must have been a lot of difficulties when it was first broadcasted, right? To have reached this step today, I think is already very good. I think it is a result of every personâs hard work.
Just now, when we were off-stage, Yan-laoshi said something I really like; in an instant, I lost my composure. I donât think fate is something that will come with enough waiting, or something that can be insisted on having. Itâs when there comes a day where we stand together and work hard to strive toward a common goal. The sentiments of that moment, I feel, last forever.
I hope, however many years later, everyone is still together - that lianluorens can still be together. Thank you, everyone. This summer, thank you to every person. Thank you to all my good companions; thank you, every single person.
Di Feisheng! Until we meet again!
ăč˛čąćĽźćźĺąäźă Mysterious Lotus Casebook Concert - 20230916
ćąćščˇŻčż  幹éŤć°´éżÂ çĽ ăçšĺă äźźéŚďź The roads of the jianghu stretch far; the mountains are lofty, and the rivers are long. I wish your future to be as splendid as an embroidered tapestry! ăčż˝ĺ
ă ččĄÂ ä¸č´ĺĺżÂ ćż ć°¸çéžĺżďź Chase the light as you journey; live up to the original intentions of your heart. I hope this will be unforgettable for your lifetime!
Any mistakes are my own.
#mysterious lotus casebook#č˛čąćĽź#di feisheng#xiao shunyao#my translation#i doubt his studio purposefully intended to allude to FDB's goodbye video bc a lot of wuxia/jianghu sayings are all the same BUT#it makes me feel things nonetheless that there exist so many similarities#éĺąąä¸ćšăçťżć°´éżćľăĺäźćć#the jianghu is full of reunions; we will surely meet again#ć°¸çéžĺż: i hope you won't forget this story; i hope you won't forget your friendships#ä¸ĺżĺĺż#ć°¸çéžĺż: a promise made with a life - i will always remember you#come the next life we must meet again#i also really like what he said: çźĺä¸ćŻçćĽçăä¸ćŻĺŻäťĽčŚćĽç#if anyone wants some casual reading you should check out the wikipedia page for yuanfen lol#the more i ferment and ruminate the less i feel like âfateâ is an adequate translation#but it's the most popular one#oh and if it wasn't clear enough lol his studio posted puns using the songs he performed
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I wish that it was Easier. And less Difficult to show affection and receive it irl
#i really want to be hugged but it just doesn't feel good with any random person#I can't just feel the right feelings when i want to for any random person it's there or it isn't#then i have these irl friendships that are like. pleasant! a nice coffee outing every month or three! but i want to crawl into someone#i struggle so hard with all the halfway stuff i can either want everything or nothing and people want me to be casual#that's just not me idk what to do about it!!#i've tried#live in my veins or don't!#<- things that are delusional to take to any scenario where i might meet potential friends in person#ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhggg
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I fucking LOVVEEEEEE haikyu JEEEEZZZ
#itâs so good#itâs so good it just hits the spot#I adore it with my being#bc what do u mean itâs about the journey to get where you want to be#and hard work#and friendship and teamwork#and the way the people you meet in your life influence you#and GOD I ADORE IT#the story crafting#not to mention the mangaka is SO GOOD at capturing tension in panels#whatever I love it I canât be casual about it#genuinely think itâs one of the best manga out there.. elite growth and storytelling
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SHE'S FINALLY GETTING A SOLO BOOK 17 YEARS AFTER BECOMING THE QUESTION LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOO
#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I'VE WAITED SO LONG FOR THIS DAY I NEVER THOUGHT IT WOULD COME#AND SHE'S GETTING TO GO TO THE WATCHTOWER? IN SPACE? AND MEETING WONDER WOMAN?#please god I need her to find out batman is bruce and respond with âI FUCKED BATMAN'S COUSIN???????? DOES KATE KNOW???â#renee seeing the earth from space for the first time in her life and taking a moment with a callback to that birds of prey issue she was in#âthere's two kinds of superheroes in the world and I'm not the 'casually hanging out in space' kindâ#fingers crossed the support team the article mentions includes helena#I've really missed helena and will accept any crumbs but PLEASE I miss their friendship#bonus points: clark references having watched letterkenny since the lois lane book and makes renee feel extra awkward#renee montoya#the question#dc comics#alex segura#cian tormey#I'M JUST SO HAPPY SHE'S BACK AND WRITTEN BY SOMEONE WHO RESPECTS HER
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#oh the mescott tea on my dash i need a mop#you can´t leave the internet for a few hrs#don´t think imma rb#bc taking it with so much salt#but it would p much align with what´s in my head aka deep continued bond#like they´ll just stay in each other´s lives#and with their current busy schedules and post serious relationships keeping it casual but still meeting up whenever they can etc#i can see that#and i love that for them#like really wanting to have a long term friendship/relationship of some kind and apparently succeeding besides/after hooking up?#the dream#like i never managed that and i tried#like i´m vicariously rooting for them or something#anyway apparently i have destructive magical powers and broke two movie projectors today just by being in the respective theater#wild#sadly back to work tmrw#it´s after 1 am and i haven´t had dinner hmm#ok yeah still thinking abt mescott but it is only the internet internetting probably#i should go to bed or eat something
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it is unfortunate when i go to prayer and cry my eyes out and the only response i really hear is that i simply have to bear it. like usually i can get my emotions out and once theyâre settled i hear a rational solution but it sucks when i donât get the answer i want. i just have to keep waiting. like normally i hear something that gives me strength but wow apparently iâve hit a new low
#literally all my problems would be so much easier to deal with if i had friends#and normally iâd be told âdo this and youâll probably find friendsâ#my plan has always been just to wait for someone to find me bc iâm horribly shy and antisocial#even though logically i know thatâs a bad way of going about it#my logical rational analytical brain has always been obsessed with finding concrete answers. itâs always been âwhat can *I* doâ#so even when i suffer thereâs a part of me that says âitâs ok once iâm done crying i can work this out and go right back to tryingâ#iâve been emotionally dead for years but iâve always held onto faith like that#tonight i feel like iâve been brought low. i feel like iâve finally been told that i might just have to wait after all#which i might think would be comforting bc it absolves me of responsibility#but itâs actually crushing bc it absolves me of power#i feel like iâm finally facing the realization that iâm powerless and pathetic and iâm never going to be able to fix myself#that i can try as hard as i want but i canât shake off this cross#but i donât know how long i have to wait for someone to find me#and even if they find me how do i not fumble it#my first instinct is to push people away bc i assume theyâre not really interested theyâre just trying to be nice#which is usually true#i donât even know how to sustain casual friendships and im so desperately in need of deep ones#i canât open up to someone without just breaking apart and making it clear how pathetic i am#one would think i ought to find someone better than myself who can fix me#but on the other hand i think the only time that the good parts of me come out is when im facing someone even worse than me#like i have a tendency to morph into the opposite of the other person in any given situation to maintain healthy balance#so like when surrounded by extroverts which is almost always i become an introvert#itâs rare to meet an introvert but then i become stronger and more extroverted around them. like something in me just loves helping others#even though i canât help myself#what do i pray for? a fellow pathetic person? or someone with the patience and kindness and life knowledge of a saint?#will either of them really be found just by chance in my life?#and even if i do meet someone. truly i wish theyâd also be lonely. i want them to need me#i donât want to be a pity charity case. like a side project for someone with real friends already
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this may feel sacrilegious coming from tuser maileesque but sometimes. I think about maizula
#in the canon timeline it wouldnât be a very healthy relationship obviously but it doesnât give me that same. Hck. feeling ty.zula does#idk. maybe post-canon when azula has healed significantly#when she has finally made peace with the fact that sheâs a lesbian#she meets up with mai (who she hasnât seen in a long time) and very casually almost off-handedly confesses#in a âoh btw jsyk I used to have the biggest crush on youâ way with absolutely no expectation of it being requited#just to get it out#and mai realises just how much sheâs changed#it doesnât have to be requited for me to like this scenario I think them just being DykesWhoGotOverTheirInternalisedHomophobia solidarity#is just as good#it being requited (& acted upon) would create such a funny polycule tho#maybe it would be like. they both used to have a crush on each other and hated themselves for it but now theyâve worked through that#internalised homophobia and theoretically *could* have a healthy relationship they donât like each other Like That anymore#but they can rebuild a friendship on the foundation of the mutual fondness that gives themâŚ#elli rambles#though maybe fondness isnât the right word but idk what else to call it#anyway. conclusion: sometimes maizula good đ
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dude have you seen skip and loafer. dude. harutakacore. dude,.
DUDE WHAT THE FUCK THIS FREAKED ME OUT I LITERALLY FINISHED READING THE MANGA LIKE 2 HOURS AGO actual reply in tags
#THIS ASK MADE ALL THE HAIRS ON MY ARM STAND UP#DO YOU FOLLOW ME ON MY SIDE TWITTER OR SOMETHING!!!!#oh also abt haru.taka core. their looks Yes. their personalities ummmm Barely#i think mitsumi and takane are both socially oblivious#and haruka and shima are people pleasers#BUT MITSUMI IS WAY TOO SELF AWARE AND SHIMA IS WAY TOO SELF UNAWARE (BC HE DOESNT KNOW WHAT HE WANTS)#while haruka is the self aware one and takane self unaware in their case. erm.#anyways THEIR CASUAL FRIENDSHIP REMINDS ME OF THEM FOR SURE THOUGH LOL#the chapter where shima buys mitsumi hand cream was extremely haruka and shintaro core. i kept imagining it. sorry.#like set in hs days ofc. haruka wanting to buy takane a gift and shintaro being like. been meaning to ask but are u and enomoto going out#haruka immediately like NOOOOO NONONONO THIS ISNT WEIRD WERE BESTIES U DONT GET IT!!!!!!!!!!#shintaro being like but you like her??? and there haruka isnt as quick to answer so shintaro's like oh got it and harukas like GOT WHAT???#anyways. that last part doesnt happen in the manga its from my delusions.#erm. READ SKIP TO LOAFER ITS SO GOOD I WAS GOING CRAZY ABT IT IN MY GC EARLIER my good buddy joey recommended it to me#it tackles relationships and friendships so perfectly and the artstyle is so nomnomnomnomnom ugh#ask tag#if youve only seenthe first ep i see how u see haru.taka core because SAME LOLLL#shimas voice fits haruka so well too#especially their first meeting that was SO haruka and takane core
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think i might have to do rewrites on the Lazy fic,, the more i think about it the more i think that maybe tiffany and changelingâs friendship isnât actually a good one
#aside#her character is interesting bc she has always been someone who Regrets things but. hasnât really Learned from them?#tiffany was kind of a bully. her character is rooted in that popular notion of#âundiagnosed autistic girl who gets taken under the wings of their female peers and take cues from themâ#but the fact is that a lot of those peers arenât necessarily Good Kids. not all around#so what do you do if the person who is protecting/teaching you is also kind of an asshole to other kids?#well you donât want to be the kid getting made fun of. so you go along with it. obviously#and so her friendship with changeling was borne mostly out of guilt. i havenât written about it much but changeling dropped out of school#bc the bullying got so bad in HS. and tiffany wasnât a main participant in that but she definitely never spoke up for it. and laughed along#so it was Guilt that she went to its house to apologize and they kind of became actual friends after that#but like. how good is the friendship when changeling is a Little only in it bc it doesnât have any other options?#and how good is it when tiffany sees changeling as Safe not bc she especially trusts/respects it but bc like.#its position in life is such that it couldnât screw up tiffanyâs main social life even if it wanted to? you know?#i think that she was its friend for a really long time but. i think they Do hang out less after changeling meets augustus#and iâm kind of torn on this bc i kind of donât want to write characters whose Only social thread is each other#but the more i realize that tiffany isnât actually a Main Character the more i think that im going to populate the series with#some other minor characters so that she doesnât stick out. plus there are things iâd like to write about#that augustus and changeling wouldnât necessarily fit well now that i have a good grasp of who they are#so more side characters would be fun. iâm making more dolls for the dollhouse here but.#yeah i think i might have to write tiffany out of Lazy. bc i donât think by that point sheâd just stop by changelingâs for no reason#and i also donât know how Close she and augustus actually got. i donât think theyâd do casual physical contact actually#i have to figure out the timing of this rewrite tho lol bc iâm writing a fic now that is a precursor to a fic i do want to write about tif#so should i do the rewrite before both of those? between them? after them? idk yet!
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whining hours . sry
#like idk i try to like. imagine a future where i have like. friends. you know. Bare mimimum i have People i talk to. who arent lamp. and i#just cant imagine it happening again#like. i genuinely feel like i cant connect to ppl anymore and idk how id like. i dont see a way for me to do that ever again since i cant g#to school and like. sny job im able to get wouldnt be the kind where i like. meet people or make friends. and last year when i eent out wit#the express purpose of Making friends i literally couldnt. speak to anyone. like i just sat alone with my headphones on until it was time t#go home ... i dont know how to like. initiate casual conversation#+ like. i worry i get way too invested in any potential friendships bc i want so badly to be Normal and have friends and then i freak out#rly badly over something trivial. and thats entirely my fault like I need to work on not letting my freakouts effect the person im freaking#out abt. yk. like its my stupid brain that just gets rly rly overly defensive and weird abt everything its not like. I need to work on that#and thats another reason i dont knowif ill ever be able to make friends again is bc i genuinely dont trust myself not to get overly attache#way too quickly and then explode or something. idk#i also think maybe im just not meant to have actual lasting relationships with anybody ever. yk. like maybe im not meant to ever have roots#and maybe i just wont ever get to have stability and my life will always be entirely transient. Perhaps thats for the best so that i dont#have t like. lose ppl. and ppl dont have to deal with me#+ if i make bad decisions there r less ppl to care abt it. you know. which is a plus. idk#theres like. some parts of me r like desperate for friends and for love and to just . feel like i exist and Talk to people and like. have#stability. and then the rest r like No this is good bc we cant hurt as many ppl like this and also we dont deserve any of that so this is#for the best. and i just have to sit here like ok ! bc if i seek out friendships that part shuts it all down and if i dont the other part#makes me feel miserable and lonely. like damn i am destined for misery. but whatever. it doesnt rly matter DHRNFJFN im just being whiny#it just feels like i need like. ok this is my abdicating responsibility and is the reason i dont have friends disclaimer. i know that. very#aware. but i like. i need somebody to be the one to reach out to Me bc i like. i cant reach out to ppl like. i cant Try to initiate#conversations . but i think if there was a person who like. initiated conversations w me and started a friendship with me i like. i think#itd help me get used to Having a friend again and then id like. id be better at maintaining it and eventually id be able to pick up th#weight. but Obviously nobody wants to like. put in all that effort for somebody whos incapable of returning the favor possibly ever. yk#i need to just bite the bullet and humiliate myself and reach out even if its embarassing and even if it makes me have to throw up#<- happened one time when i tried to talk to someone new. which is so. oh my god. there r ppl who have avtual fucking issues and then im#just like boohoo i tried to think abt a conversation starter and got so anxious i fucking threw up. GOD. i hateit i hate it i hate it. but#wtvr. ik i cant actually expect that from anybody basically like. ik its a stupid wish. idk. i just wish i had somebody who could help me#like. remember how to mask and how to socialize Like a real person. and wouldnt mind that im like. weird right now. and would be willing to#talk to me until i got normal and stuff. wtvr. idk ... 10000 lashings
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Mutual Help | 59
âł đŹđ˛đ§đ¨đŠđŹđ˘đŹ; in order for you to pretend to be his girlfriend, he helps you with your sexual desires ⤠he calls it mutual help
⢠đŠđđ˘đŤđ˘đ§đ : jungkook x reader
⢠đ đđ§đŤđ: fake dating au, fluff, angst, smut, slow burn
⢠đ°đđŤđ§đ˘đ§đ đŹ: explicit language, explicit content
⢠đ°đ¨đŤđ đđ¨đŽđ§đ: 18.5k+
â  đŠđŤđđŻ. | đ˘đ§đđđąÂ | đ§đđąđ â˘Â
Sometimes you decide on things by feelings or whatever seems right at that moment. Â
You might've suggested something that has bit you in the ass right back. It didn't feel as satisfactory as it perhaps should have when you hinted on meeting new people. Although, it's a great opportunity for both of you to move on, even though just the thought alone leaves a bitter taste on your tongue.Â
Not even the alcohol on it tastes as bitter.Â
Regardless of what kind of opportunity it turned out to be, you had to do it. You're slowly losing it and being in Jungkook's presence alone is not helping.Â
A jealous kind of person is not what you would describe yourself. When the word jealous comes to one's mind, they think of someone being possessive jealous in the worst kind of way. You might've been possessive about people around you, but in a healthy way.Â
Sure, the thing with Ester is not the greatest example of it, but that was something different.Â
There's something building up, something you haven't experienced with Jungkook before. You were jealous in the friendliest possible way. You don't want to dwell on it more than necessary, but with Ester, you were scared of her becoming Jungkook's close friend. It sounds terrible this way, perhaps a little toxic too â it's hard to describe and put it into the right words so one could understand it clearly. There are parts where even you don't understand it.
You're confident about what you and he have. From the moment you met to the point where your friendship is at. Even that is a bit debatable, but you don't want to go there. Not right now. And possibly not in the near future. There are certain things you don't want to think about.Â
Ones you're scared of.
Still. Seeing Jungkook having another friend who he genuinely gets along with, in a meaningful way caused you to act on the void you felt.Â
But jealousy is a human emotion nevertheless. And you totally hate it at the moment.Â
Because there's no Ester or any possible special friendships to be made. This is different.Â
Why the fuck you hate staring at Jungkook and Nara. That's what she's named and introduced herself as when she happily sat behind Jungkook, holding his waist as he drove them through the small waves on a jet ski.Â
Clearly, sharing a meaningful connection called friendship is not on top of her list. She's smiling the entire time they talk about whatever, even though it's the most casual topic. She's not the typical giggling type that smiles to whatever that's being said just to flirt. She seems genuinely interested in Jungkook. Maybe a little bit too much.Â
Okay, definitely.Â
Tap. Tap. Tap.
You tap your fingers on the table, sun setting down as you watch Jungkook and Nara taking a fucking walk along the beach. You hate that after three drinks, you still have your stomach crumbled and twisted around.
There's no reason for you to be mad at Jungkook. You told him to meet people. You freaking hinted about him trying to get it on with other people. Okay, maybe you're irritated he took it seriously and clearly goes for it a little too soon. You also told him you'll be fine here while they go on a walk alone.
âSo it's just you two here?â Gabriel asks next to you, catching your attention for the hundredth time in the past three hours. Yes, that's how long you've been spending your time with them.Â
They're fun and friendly. Nothing bad about them. Clearly young people who want to have fun. They're relaxed, fun and outgoing.Â
So why the hell would you rather have Min Yoongi here than having to witness all of this?
Mentally shaking your head at your ridiculous thoughts, you turn to Gabriel and tear your eyes off those two. You give him a stare that tells him enough about your suspicion by that sudden question.Â
âRelax, I'm just asking.â
âAnd I should believe you because?â you question him. You might've appeared slightly cold toward him. You're not sure if his friendliness wants to aim somewhere else and to something more, or he's just that outgoing.Â
Clearly, he doesn't want to back away because he's been very persistent. You give him that.Â
There's a slight spark between the tug and pull game. But it's not the one you're looking for.Â
âBecause I'm telling the truth.â
There's chatter and laughter going from the other people you've been introduced to. You don't remember all of their names though. You hope you won't have to see them after this. God, that sounded so harsh. They're nice, you swear! But!
They don't give you any attention which makes your conversation slightly more comfortable.Â
âYou're still a stranger. How do I know you're telling me the truth?â
âSo just believe meââ
âThat literally goes againstââ
He laughs. He's handsome. Has a sharp jawline and a cute smile. âYou're a piece of work.â
âI know. I'm amazing.â
He can't seem to drop his eyes off you. You've experienced those before. Which is why you're not sure if he's honest about that or if it's the trick of flirting with you. It seems like men always have some kind of ulterior motive behind their behavior.Â
You don't hate men. Even if it looks like it. You just don't trust them.Â
Unless they are Jungkook, Jimin or Taehyung.Â
Surprisingly, at least Gabriel doesn't annoy you in the Min Yoongi type of way. He's nice, not pushy and annoying which you appreciate.Â
You glance at him fully, both of you chuckling at your ridiculous conversation.Â
There's a deeper meaning behind his question. For the first time, he showed more of his prying persona. You can't blame him. It was bound for people to question it. You've grown used to it.
âYes, it's just me and Jungkook.â
He nods, already knowing this but traces his glass. He had one beer an hour ago and after that one, he switched to lemonades. Somehow, you find that a little attractive.Â
âOur friends were supposed to go with us, but it didn't work for them unfortunately.â
He already knows you're staying at one of the beach houses, which to their expressions, they were a bit surprised to hear that. It's a more expensive side of the beach and while they're staying nearby, it might sound suggestive that you two alone are where families and lovers mostly stay.Â
âDidn't work how? What if it's their way to get you together alone?âÂ
His question has a light tone full of teasing and suggestion, knowing exactly where this is going. He's trying to figure out your relationship with Jungkook, probably not believing two best friends that are on a vacation are only that. Friends. Well, that's quite debatable in all ways but you're not exactly going to share a full depth of anything related to your actual relationship to Jungkook.Â
Gabriel doesn't give you any vibes of being a snitch, but he's still a stranger. A handsome one but not even his pretty face could make you spill the tea. Anyway, he's definitely not asking because he's skeptical but mostly asking for himself.Â
You would've had to be blind and dumb not to notice his undeniable attention and interest aimed toward you. It's flattering and a compliment, really. More than anything else.
âWell, one of them ended up in a hospital with broken toes, so I would like to think he didn't do it on purpose.â
âOuch.â
âExactly,â you deadpan, sipping more of your drink.Â
He grins. He has a cocky twist to his smile. There's no denying he's a catch wherever he travels.
âEven though, you never know with him.â you say, watching Gabriel's confused look before you shrug and chuckle under your breath.Â
Taehyung loves himself too much to hurt himself. No matter how much he would love you and Jungkook messing around more.
Speaking of him, you glance back at the couple walking down the beach. There's nothing special or weird about it. They're just walking beside each other, there's even some distance between them now. Is Jungkook listening to your previous words and just trying to â you don't even know how to name it.Â
Is he trying to get to know someone else in hopes of getting more?
Is he planning to hook up with anyone from this group?Â
Because he totally could and there would be nothing you would do about it. But why should you in the first place? It should not bother you. You should be in the front row hyping him up to do it. You should smack his shoulder and tell him to go for it, like all the guys do.
So why can't you?
You believe it's because you've never experienced anything similar to what you have with Jungkook. Obviously, he's more than the sex God you've portrayed him as in your head. He's definitely more than that. But speaking just about that alone, the thought of him going for someone else and showing that side of him to some stranger he just met, honestly bothers you. It's too soon. And you know if you weren't too thoughtful, you wouldn't be in this position because you would've kept hooking up.Â
You wouldn't have to worry about him suddenly having sex with someone else. He would never do that when he's intimate with you.Â
Fuck. Why are you even thinking of all of this?Â
You did what was best for you and him. At the end of the day, it's just a matter of time before something like this happens. And you know it will and you're going to be okay with it. You will move on.
But perhaps you rushed into it. You've panicked and indirectly told him to just have fun. Without you. In that exact sense you're thinking of.Â
He's smart. Of course he caught onto the meaning right away and something tells you he's doing exactly that. You can't even be mad at him because you told him. You were the one who encouraged and pushed him to move on.
âI didn't mean to pry,â Gabriel speaks up, reminding you of his presence and your cheeks heat up even more under the sun that's barely up there.
You try to cover up your staring by looking at the sea before finally looking at him. He couldn't see the exact direction of your vision, but he could've guessed because they're right there.Â
âI just find it interesting.â
âInteresting?â You frown in confusion.
âYou two.â
âWhat's so interesting about two best friends? Because one is a female and the other male?âÂ
His brows shoot up, catching up onto your slightly offended tone. âI didn't mean it like that.â
âHow did you mean it then?â
He hesitates, but your lifted brow that demands a response causes him to lick his lips as he sighs. âYou've been checking him a few times now.â
You grit your teeth together. Not because you're offended that he indeed noticed, but you're embarrassed that he did.Â
âI've been checking on my best friend.â
âAlright, alright,â he chuckles, trying to play it off as he puts his hands up in surrender. âI wasn't really trying to suggest something else. I just noticed that your friendship seems⌠special.â
âAnd it is.â
He nods, wrapping his hand around the drink as he picks up on the small droplets. âNara won't bite his head off. She's cool.â
âI wasn't suggesting anything else.â You throw his words back at him. He notices, the left corner of his lips twisting in a smirk but he doesn't say anything about it.Â
âWould your friend bite my head off though?â
You arch your brow at him, âAnd why would he do that?â
âI don't know, maybe for trying to get to know you?â
âYou're getting to know me.â you point out, knowing what he's hinting at but you're playing it off. An amusement dances in your eyes and he sees it, his smirk only getting bigger but the determination of getting straight with you is even bigger.Â
âI am.â he hums.Â
âWell, I can't promise anything. Jungkook is protective.â
âSurely he would understand I don't have any vile intentions. I mean, you're single, right?â
You gulp, stopping for a moment. You could possibly make some kind of situation. You're single but you weren't exactly free and down to meeting someone else. For multiple reasons. You could tell him you just got out of⌠relationship that had nothing to do with dating. Simply said, you could tell him you had a fuck buddy and now you're just focusing on yourself.
But considering your previous topic, he could easily catch on and for some reason, you don't want to risk it. You don't want any strangers knowing about you and Jungkook. It seems awfully personal and intimate.
âI am.â you mutter.
âSo? He can't chase all men away from you.â
And he probably won't.Â
âI don't know⌠he did punch a guy for me.â
âWhat?â he deadpans.Â
You chuckle, âHe was my ex. Said some nasty stuff. Kook didn't like it.â
âSo he⌠punched him?â
âMhm,â You take another sip. âHe did deserve it though.â
âI would never say nasty stuff about you. Or any woman.â
What are you supposed to do with that information?
âNever say never.â you shrug.Â
âNo, I mean it. I wasn't raised like that.â
âI don't think he was either. But sometimes we don't know ourselves. And sometimes we can surprise ourselves too.â
âI get that, but if your friend had to punch him for it, he obviously wasn't good.â
You look at your drink that's slowly disappearing. You should slow down. âHe's not a bad guy.â
âDoesn't sound like it.â
You roll your eyes, âYou've got an answer for everything, don't you?â
âYou seem to be just the same way.â he points out.
âYou've known me for a few hours, Gabriel. I could be a total bitch or a completely different person than you've made up in your head.â
âAnd that's why I would like to know you more.â
You stare at him.Â
Having to be in similar situations a few times, this time feels slightly different. Even though he's determined, he's not annoyingly pushy. He's good looking and has something in him that makes you flattered that he's not backing down. Showing a clear interest in you is not something you would gag at or roll your eyes like you usually would have.Â
âSo if I wanted to invite you for dinner, lunch⌠whatever you want it to be, would you go?â
âAre you asking me on a date, stranger?â
He chuckles, shaking his head. âI'm asking to hang with you and get to know you.â
âUmm, isn't that the definition of a date?â
âCould be,â he shrugs, âBut I'm from Italy and you live on the opposite side of the world.â
âExactly.â you point out.Â
âOh come on, just say no if you don't want to.â
âAre you looking for a hook-up, Gabriel?â you question him, not wanting to beat around the bush. Somehow, you know he's honest but you have a hard time believing he's just interested in getting to know you.Â
Why?Â
Like he said. You live in different countries and both of you don't look like the type to have a long-distance relationship.Â
He starts coughing, taken back by your sudden straight-forwardness before he laughs, finding some amusement in it. âIf you want to.â
âIs that why you want to get to know me?âÂ
âNo.â
You look at him skeptically, âI'm sorry, I just find it hard to believe.â
âThen I'm disappointed by the man you've encountered.âÂ
âHey, I have amazing men around me.â
Two of them probably broke more hearts than any of these people in this group, but they're amazing men regardless of it. It's the fact they never did it intentionally. And Jungkook is the definition of a perfect guy. Perfect in terms of loving and thoughtful person who would give everything to his loved ones.Â
âNever said you don't. You love your friends very much, don't you?â
That goes without a question. He sees the look on your face and it causes him to smile. For some reason, he seems smitten by you. Of course he does, look at you. You're amazing.
âYou could say they're my second family.â
Perhaps if they were actually here, things would've been a lot different. That goes without debate.Â
Taking in the silence that follows, you can't help but glance in the direction where Jungkook and Gabriel's friend are walking down the beach. However, they no longer are and instead you find him taking pictures of her. She makes poses, showing off her toned and tanned body. And then she walks up to him, clinging to his side as he shows her the results. She seems to be impressed, as far as you know, it's hard to see it clearly from this distance.Â
And it's for the better, honestly.
âListen, it doesn't have to mean anything more. Just us hanging out over a good dinner⌠or a lunch.â
Gluing your eyes back to Gabriel, which seems to be the safer choice, your eyes run over his features as you take a breath â realizing your stiffened posture before you relax.
âI don't have any sick intentions.â
âYou know⌠you constantly making sure I know that kinda makes it harder to believe you.â
He laughs, shaking his head as he smiles at his drink. Your teasing brings some peacefulness into this conversation again. âJust let me know your decision. Take your time.â
You give him a smirk, knowing you're kind of running out of time. Both of you know it and that's why you both grin at each other. Before any of you can say something, the approaching chatter interrupts you. Jungkook and Nara join you, she says something which makes Jungkook smile and that's when he looks up. Your eyes meet and you straighten yourself, ignoring the way your heart squeezes.
âWhat's up,â Gabriel says next to you, looking at Nara who seems to joyfully sit down and take a few sips of her drink.Â
âGot some nice shots. Jungkook here is pure talent. I'ma show you later.â she says, smiling at Jungkook at the compliments she's giving him.Â
The corner of his lips turn slowly up before he glances back at you. Looking away, you poke the back of your front teeth with your tongue.
âWhat's your plans for tomorrow? We were thinking of visiting the water park here. It's brand new and apparently very fun. You wanna join us?â Nara asks, reaching for a bowl of fruit that Gabriel has ordered. âAnyone?â she points at the bowl.Â
Everyone shakes their heads before her previous question still sits in the air. She glances between you and Jungkook, awaiting your answer.
Once again, you look at each other without saying anything.Â
âThey probably have different plans, Nara.â Gabriel notes, shrugging.
Not wanting to let them know about the lingering tension that somehow remains between you two, you take matters into your hands and give Gabriel a smile. âWe don't yet, not definite but we'll think of something.â
They seem to be settled with that before the conversation moves to something else. Somehow it seems unfinished and by the time you and Jungkook are alone, walking back to your beach house, the feeling intensifies.
âSo what about tomorrow?âÂ
Jungkook is the first one to speak up once you get inside, a few minutes spent in silence after both of you are finished with your shower. You cut strawberries for yourself you got at the market earlier this morning.Â
âI don't know. We don't have any clear plans, do we?â you hum.
âWe could look around the Island. See what's up there and decide then.â
âSounds good.âÂ
Jungkook stands behind you, in a safe distance but you can feel his eyes burning your back. However, he doesn't make a sound before a silent sigh leaves his mouth.
âThen what?â
âWhat then?â you frown, focusing on your cutting as he walks up to you. He leans against the counter with his lower back, crossing his arms over his chest. Luckily, he has put a t-shirt on. One second staring at him topless and you would be done for.
He's staring at you. You know he is, yet your eyes stay glued to the cutboard while you're taking your time with cutting the strawberries more precisely than it's necessary. âThe water park. You wanna go?â
You halt, pursing your lips slightly. âDo you?â
He sighs again, âI think it would be a nice plan if we feel like it after we're done with the sightseeing.â
You stay silent before he taunts;
âDon't you?â
Your jaw clenches, âI think you should go if you wanna go so badly.â
He laughs sarcastically, âWhat?â
Fuck. You and your mouth. Composing yourself, you shrug before you put down the knife. âDidn't they want to go during the day?â
âNara told me they will probably go in the afternoon. The heat is supposed to be crazy tomorrow, it's better to go later in the day.â
Of course, she did. Anything so she could go with Jungkook.Â
While that little comment sounds bitter in your mind, you do know Nara wants him to go. And you should not feel angry or annoyed at it. Maybe that's not why you're annoyed at it at all. It's simple knowing that Jungkook wants to go.Â
So forcing yourself to smile, you get the courage to stare him in the eyes. âYou go if you wanna. I've got plans in the afternoon.â
Silence. For a split second.Â
âWhat?â
Another follows and you wet your lips as you shrug. âI'm going out with Gabriel.â
Well, he doesn't know it yet. He's waiting but you're guessing he will be more than glad to skip the water park. If he doesn't, that's going to be incredibly embarrassing for you and your ego.
Jungkook tongues his cheek, looking away as he scoffs silently. But the overbearing silence makes it ten times louder. âI see.â
âJungkookââ
âIs this how it's gonna be?â
You gulp, âWhat do you mean?â
âWe came here to spend time together but we spend it separately? Is that how desperately you want me gone?â
âJungkook!â
He lifts his hand up, the point finger up as he motions for you to be quiet. âI'm going for a walk.â
âYou don't have toââ
You don't get to finish it, he brushes past you and is gone before you can take another breath.Â
One of the worst habits you possess is the need to spill out anything that bothers you to someone. That someone is in most cases Jungkook, purely because he gives the best advice and comfort to anyone who needs it. He never judges and he just⌠gets it. He's that person you come to and can tell him anything, somehow the words he says or his mere presence is helpful enough.
For clear reasons he's not available â nor would he be suitable since he's the main reason why you're bothered in the first place. You're the one who messed up. For a moment you wondered whether you should go after him, to talk it out like any healthy person would do. But once you got out of the door, he was nowhere and to be walking alone around the Island with no one by your side is not something you wish to risk. Even though it seems to be safe here, you know he wouldn't be happy if he came back and you weren't here.
Or maybe he wouldn't care.Â
You would like to think he would. It's still Jungkook. No matter how many times you fight or there's tension, it's still him. But it feels wrong to count on this all the time, even though it's basic knowledge.
Sure, you've got other friends.Â
You wouldn't want to include Maya here. Purely out of knowing what her response might be â you've got to be a little selfish here because you know that's not something you want to hear right now. Anyway, she's probably planning her wedding or spending time with Namjoon. It feels rather awkward to be reaching out just because you find yourself in trouble. By your own responsibility.
But right after Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung came.Â
Jimin is someone who gives you the hard truth, sometimes even scolds you but with the greatest intention. That's not something you need right now either way.
And Taehyung?
He makes everything look easy with the way he sees the world and particular problems. There is barely any problem in his world. He says fuck it on most things with his optimistic persona. He simply just doesn't care.Â
Therefore, he's the safer choice than Jimin.
Luckily, once you call him and he's alone, you briefly mention the issue here. You kept it safe for your own sake or selfishness. However, you didn't have to mention anything because he questioned Jungkook's absence right after he complained about Jimin and the fact he brings his girlfriend almost everywhere.
When even Taehyung is silent, you're glad you've chosen a phone call instead of a video one.Â
âSo, let me get this straight⌠you go to Hawaii together but you're about to spend it separately?â
âWellâjust tomorrow afternoon. I didn't think it's such a big deal.â
âBut you purposely encouraged him toâI don't even know how to call itâgo and find fun somewhere else?â
You gulp, regretting now that Taehyung's words bite you in the ass. He's right though. âWe met this group of girls andâI didn't want him to focus on me only. I want him to have fun.â
Okay, that's half of the truth but it works. You did more for yourself than for Jungkook, naively believing that it will be better for him. But that backfired and it seems he doesn't feel like it's better for him.
âAnd didn't it get through your pretty head that maybe, just maybe, he wants to have fun with you?â
âTaeââ you sigh.
âNot that kind,â You can tell he has rolled his eyes. âHe just wanted you two to have fun in there. I'm pretty sure he didn't think with his dick when he wanted you to go.â
âI didn't say that.â
âI know, I'm just saying.â he hums, âMaybe he feels rejected?â
âWhat? You think so?â
âI think Jungkook has had a lot planned for the two of you and he imagined he would spend it with you. Not with both of you having fun with someone else, instead with each other.â
âI thought it's better this way.â you mumble.Â
Silence follows and you're not sure whether Taehyung heard or not, but you hear his soft sigh on the other end. âYou do your thing tomorrow and he will do his. Or just spend the afternoon the way you wanted, just with each other.â
âYou make it sound so easy.â
âBecause it is.â
âTae, we were invited. I was asked for lunchâor dinnerâwhatever.â
âSo? Fuck anyone else,â There it is. âAnyway, is the girl hot?â
âWhat.â
Taehyung laughs, âThe girl that so seemingly goes after our Jungkookie.â
âI never said she's going after him.â
âYou didn't have to, babe. It's clearer than Jimin's questionable choice of a girlfriend.â
âYou're being rude, leave Jimin and his girlfriend alone.â
He snorts, laughing as you join. âI would ask you to send me pictures of the girls, but I kinda don't want to. I would regret not being there.â
âCan you not think with your dick when your friend here is in crisis?â you mutter.
âYou got yourself there, hun.â
âYou're not helping.â you grit through your teeth, hearing him laugh.
âLook, just talk to him. You guys communicate well. Wellâit's bumpy these days but you got it.â
âHow's your leg?â you ask instead, listening to Taehyung's complaints while your mind is elsewhere.
When Jungkook doesn't come within an hour, you're seriously starting to get worried. He has left in a hurry, therefore has forgotten his phone that mockingly sits on one of the small tables. Even though he's a man, you're worried for his safety no matter how safe this Island seems to be.Â
Just as you're about to grab your things and go search for him, the door clicks open and there he is.Â
Head low and almost looking like a kicked puppy, you debate whether to jump on him to hug him or slap him for making you so worried. If the roles were reversed, there's no doubt that he would search the entire Island for you. And that's not exaggerating at all.Â
Yet, you stand there â waiting for him to look up and be stopped by the glare you're giving him across the room.
âWhere the hell have you been?â
You're angry. More at yourself than anyone else, but him scaring the shit out of you comes handy at the moment.Â
You know that defeated look. You both hate fighting. It's crazy you've never been through such hard times in terms of fighting than you have in the past year. Sure, looking at it optimistically, you've learned to communicate better. Sometimes.Â
Not particularly now. And you know some of it is mostly your fault now.Â
Being honest means much more than just that.Â
However that once mentioned defeated look is long gone. As soon as that tone and words leave your mouth, he glares at you with those intense dark eyes.Â
It doesn't matter that you sound like a mother scolding his son for coming home late.Â
âI went for a walk.â he says calmly, but there's something on the tip of his tongue. And his face says it all. I told you that.
You scoff. Before anything else can be said, he simply walks past you and you watch at the spot he just stood at in complete disbelief.Â
âThat's it?â
âWhat else do you want me to say?â he offers, giving you I don't give a fuck attitude as he plops on the couch and stretches his legs on top of the table.
He grabs his phone and scrolls down through his notifications. He must know he forgot it here. There's no way he doesn't know now. But there's no sight of realization or anything. He simply seems like he doesn't care.
Not about that and certainly not about you stomping to the room.Â
âAre you serious now?â
He looks up from his phone, moving only with his eyes and you're stunned for a second. He's waiting.Â
âIf I stormed out like that, you would give me hell for it!â you scold him.
âI told you I went for a walk. We both needed to cool off.â
You fumble over your words and try to make sense of them.Â
His eyes say it all. It looks like you haven't.
âYeah, without your phone and you were gone for an hour!âÂ
You watch him stare at you for a moment, sighing as he tosses his phone on the couch. âI'm sorry.â
The surprise on your face is evident.Â
âI forgot it. Didn't realize I was gone for so long.â
Well, an hour isn't so long but yeah, it felt like it. Especially the way he left.
You relax, a soft puff of breath leaving your lips before you nibble onto them with your teeth. You come closer, your knee resting against the armrest.Â
âI will cancel on Gabriel.â
He frowns, almost confused why would you do that. For a split second you feel embarrassed.Â
âSo we can spend more time together.â you elaborate further.Â
âYou don't have to do that out of pity or whatever.â he points out.
This is stupid. You're stupid.
âI'm not doing it out ofââ
âBesides, I have a few plans throughout our stay here. Starting from tomorrow.â
âWhat,â you deadpan, hating the weird pressure and intuition that rises every second until he proves it right.
âI arranged it with Nara.â
It's dead silence for a moment. You're letting the information sink in until you breathe out in even bigger disbelief.
âWhat,â It's quiet, almost painful before you glance at his phone. âYour phone stayed here.â
âMet her during my walk.â
Oh, and she so accidentally appeared right where you were, huh?
He's not looking at you, staring at nothing in particular with a distant gaze.Â
âSo let me get this straightââ You hold yourself together so you don't burst in anger. âYou make a scene for not spending this vacation together and now you just make plans throughout it without me?â
You realize it's mostly said from your point of view and you fucked up, but him accepting it is even more defeating than anything else about this.
âAs far as I know, you made plans too. Isn't this a good way of meeting new people?â
He's throwing it back at you. Clenching your jaw, you painfully swallow as you nod. âI see,â you mock his words, âYou're right.â
And you walk out of the room â not knowing whether you should strangle him or yourself first. Only time can tell.
It's safe to say that sometimes your intention escalates and creates a new wave of something that can hardly be described positively. A part of you blames yourself for opening your mouth, even though your own intention behind it was not wrong. It wasn't supposed to cause any of this.
Already embarrassing as it is, having to lay next to Jungkook throughout the entire night has been another level. You've been tossing around, wondering if he's doing the same whenever you fall asleep for a few minutes until you're awake again. Seems like he's not particularly doing bad, but once again, there's an argument between you that has been maybe talked about, but definitely not solved.Â
You stick to your plans that have been planned out for most of the day. You've gone sightseeing, fed rescued animals and even visited local museums. Basically, done activities where other people mostly talked and you both listened â you were just there. Standing next to each other, walking beside each other but if it wasn't for these facts, some might think you were strangers.
And that thought that randomly crossed your mind hurt.Â
But you're just as stubborn.Â
This is for the better. Sure, you should probably make a mend, it would definitely make things easier and better. But you will try to focus on other people as well. Being with Jungkook alone on this vacation â well, it's not like you have many opportunities to focus on anything else.
But that could change. And it can change.Â
It's for the best. You both got distracted. Preferably with each other.Â
So when the time comes, you both end up at the beach nearby the beach house you're staying at. However, this time it's for you to get separated and each go your own way. Gabriel's friends are already there, wearing their swimsuits and covering it with thin layers of clothing. And then there's Gabriel as well.
You texted him, agreeing to the dinner but proposed to meet sooner. The truth is, you couldn't be alone at the house knowing where Jungkook is. It would eat you alive to be alone with your thoughts of blame and regret.Â
You have no idea where you will be going, perhaps more sight-seeing but you hope Gabriel has something planned out at the last minute. Sight-seeing reminds you of Jungkook as well, since you've spent your entire morning until midday.
You have not spoken ever since you came back. You both showered and changed clothes, here you are. Perhaps you've spent more time on your make-up. Your skin is glowing, covering everything that is laying beneath much deeper.
Summer dress with slightly low cut cleavage felt like the right choice. It's perfect for day time, could be great for night time as well and most importantly, you're not trying to look overly hot. This dress is practical.Â
And you have no idea what's up with men and summer dresses because you feel like you attract men's eyes as soon as they can make out your figure. Gabriel is speechless, though he's grinning and doesn't fail to give you a compliment.Â
Before you know it, Jungkook and Gabriel's friends bid you two a goodbye. Well â mostly Gabriel's friends because Jungkook is awfully quiet and doesn't even spare you a glance as he chats with Nara.Â
Jaw clenched, you turn around and smile widely at Gabriel. âSo what's the plan?â
âMm, don't kill me but I thought we could get a snack or something, waitâhave you eaten?â
âI have,âÂ
During lunch time with Jungkook. No matter how intense it seems to be between you, he still made sure you've eaten something. It's hard to be mad at him. But one memory of what happened just seconds ago is enough to make your features harden, just like your heart does.
âHave you?â
âI have,â he answers, âCool, we can go to that dinner I promised you.â
You give him a slight chuckle, both of you walking nowhere specific.Â
âBut maybe we could go to the water park as well?â
âWhat,â you stop, chuckling nervously. The whole point of going out was not to be in Jungkook's presence. âThe others just left.â You point behind you, pretty sure they are no longer there.Â
âI kinda hoped we would go there alone.â
You give him a look, causing him to grin as he shakes his head. âNothing creepy, I swear. Is it bad that I want you all for myself?â
âYou will give me creeps if you continue to speak to me like that.âÂ
He grabs his chest, pretending it hurts there. âOuch. Is it always so hard to charm you?â
You look away, shrugging. âNot always.â
At least you didn't lie.Â
Best way to distract yourself is to do something. Anything that can't help you from thinking, or even overthinking. You give Gabriel that. Even though he has no idea he indirectly helped you and made your day better, attractions are a good way to just enjoy the presence. You allow yourself and your mind to be present with him.Â
You laugh and nicely enough, Gabriel is sweet and keeps his hands to each other. He doesn't give you creepy vibes â you're not sure if you wanted him to. He's polite, gentleman and funny. Everything anyone would like to see in a guy you're spending time with.Â
You talk, filling almost every second and moment with words. And yet, still somewhere rooted inside you, you keep looking around, hoping you won't meet Jungkook. Possibly see something you don't want to. You want him to have fun.Â
But deep inside you feel like you've pushed him to do this. It's stupid. You proposed something. You never forced him to do anything. But just because it hasn't been done directly, doesn't mean the outcome is not the same.Â
And you do it again. So you go to the first attraction you see, the water ride. You take Gabriel's hand, pulling him towards it until you're seated and drenched in water. After you're done, you both laugh at each other's appearance.
âI wonder if they sell towels here.â Gabriel says, praising himself for wearing slippers instead of actual shoes. His shirt is drenched, showing some of his abs. But you're respectful, you're not looking.Â
âIt's hot, we'll be dry in thirty minutes.â you laugh, squeezing more water from the rim of your dress. It falls down your legs.Â
âTrueâhow aboutââ
âGab? What are you guys doing here?âÂ
Coming from the side, you both glance at the way where one of the girls walks with the entire group of Gabriel's friends behind her. Great.
All you hear is Jungkook, Jungkook, Jungkook. He must be around here but you don't dare to let your eyes travel further.
âWe wanted to try some of the attractions too.â Gabriel answers as if it's not a big deal.Â
Although he's met with some confused looks from his friends, they're not overly judgy and you get them. None of you mentioned going here before.Â
âYou could've gone with us. Oh god, did you guys just go on this ride? We went there first, you should've seen us! ActuallyâNara and Jungkook just went there like ten minutes ago andââ She starts looking behind her, pointing in that direction but she doesn't have to.Â
Your eyes naturally find him there. Walking, unbuttoned shirt that is drenched similarly to your dress. The difference is that you can see his skin, a few droplets here and there as the sun shines on his tanned skin.
âWe didâI wanted Y/N for myself, is that so bad?â
And that's when Jungkook looks up, undoubtedly catching Gabriel's words and your stare as well. Seconds pass by and someone keeps talking, but you don't pay attention. Jungkook's eyes travel down your figure before a slight frown settles on his face.Â
Looking down, and you hate that you do, you follow his line of vision. The outline of your breasts is visible, nowhere near explicit to the point where anything is visibly clear, but even the slightest perks of your hardened nipples can be noticeable if one truly looks there. This dress doesn't require a bra, the material around that area is thick enough.Â
When you were picking this dress, you weren't counting on getting it wet by any means.Â
Crossing your arms over your chest, Jungkook stares directly at you this time. Something about his gaze is so intense that you're not sure whether you're naturally nervous or aroused. Fuck.Â
âWe were just about to get frozen yogurt, you guys wanna join? We'll leave you alone, I promise.â Matt, one of their friends jokes, causing all of them to chuckle just to tease Gabriel.Â
Gabriel is not a shy person. He rolls his eyes playfully at them, ignoring them right after before he looks down at you. He's taller than you, not as tall as the man who stands across you and you feel his eyes on you. It burns.Â
âWhat do you say? Frozen yogurt?â
Frozen yogurt is the least of your worries right now. The right thing would be to refuse and come up with some kind of excuse, maybe trying the good old I wanna try more attractions. Just so you could finally escape the burning gaze that is ten times hotter than the sun above your heads.Â
But the annoyance that slowly simmers inside you, followed by Jungkook's unpleasant face, changes your mind. Lips stretching into a wide smile, making sure Jungkook sees it and hears you loud and clear.Â
âSure, frozen yogurt sounds great.â Delightful, you want to say.Â
The others cheer, clearly happy to have Gabriel join them. You see Matt throwing his arm around Gabriel's shoulders, teasing him, undeniably about you as Gabriel shakes his head and with laughter pushes him away.Â
âYou havin' fun?â
Jungkook walks next to you, looking ahead and not giving you one last glance. His jaw is clenched and you smile, amused and pleased even.Â
âAre you?â
âWonderful,â he mutters.
âGood.â
âGood.â
Scoffing, you open your mouth but before any remark can make it out of your mouth, a woosh of coldness and pressure causes you to stop in your tracks. Most of it is blocked by Jungkook whom you manage to see turning his back, facing you while he shields you from the impact before your eyes are forced to shut.
The nearby attraction has splashed you, a few more people being a victim of it as they either laugh, curse or freeze in shock. Even your newfound friends who have managed to avoid the splash, gasp in surprise as they stare at the two of you.Â
You're fully drenched, every inch of you covered in water as you can feel it drip down your dress. So much for being dressed nicely.Â
âOh my god, are you guys okay?â Gabriel asks, walking over to you.
Though you look up at Jungkook, who stares at you before his eyes drop down to your chest. You know his stare is not an act of lust, more of acknowledgment you should make. You don't have to look. You feel it.Â
Your arms cover your breasts, turning to Gabriel to respond to him. However before you're able to utter a single word, you feel a soft touch of hand over your lower back.Â
âWe have to change clothes.â
âI saw a stand with some clothes where the kids' attractions are.â Nara tries to help, pointing in the left.
Jungkook ushers you to move before you can get drenched any more than you already are. Stupidly, you let him and you hate how you enjoy his hand on you. Maybe it has something to do with Nara watching.Â
There are no words said as soon as you distance yourselves from the rest of the group, leaving them up to their activities while there's a suffocating air surrounding you. The burning weather has nothing to do with it this time.
You watch Jungkook pick random shirts and shorts once you get to the stand. The older man who sells it tells you that this happens pretty much often, that's why there are a lot of towels and clothes for sale. Of course, it always has a Hawaiian theme or a water park one. You let Jungkook interact with the seller while you linger behind him, offering him a soft smile in return because that's all you can do.Â
âThere is a changing room with a restroom around the corner. It's more to the side, so it's not much crowded, in case the lady needs more privacy.â he advises nicely.
Smiling one last time, Jungkook briefly nods as he follows the man's directions and leads you to the mentioned changing room.
He forgot to mention it's a single room. You can still hear screams and laugh from the side, but it's more isolated right now. You get inside, scanning the room. It's spacious. There are hangers on the wall, a basic bin and a sink. A huge mirror is spread across the one wall, the lighting is shitty though. The light bulb weirdly glitches but there is no weird smell in here. You hate public bathrooms, especially at water parks.Â
Surprisingly, there's not much water on the floor. The man was right. There are not many people who use this changing room. You've seen a couple of them when you were walking with Gabriel, but you haven't thought much about it. It sort of makes sense now.
The door clicks behind you, causing you to look across your shoulder. âUmm, where are you going?â
Jungkook looks up, brows frowning as he grows slightly offended by the question. âTo change?â
His own question holds an attitude and you just stare in bewilderment for a moment. But when he doesn't move an inch, stubbornly standing his ground, you frown as well.Â
âCan't you wait?â
âCan't you wait?â
You scoff, almost laughing how childish this situation is. When Jungkook is mad, he can get slightly childish or let you feel all the nice things he does for people, until he stops it just to get petty. Not that you can't complain. You do the same things.Â
However, you use your mouth much more than he does. He's more subtle with it.Â
âI was here first.â
It's childish, you know it, yet you still point out when you're not sure how to react in the first place. Jungkook laughs under his breath.
âI wanna get out of these clothes as much as you do. Let's turn around and not look at each other.â he proposes, thinking that's the problem.Â
Little does he know you could care less if he sees you naked or whatever. You hate the way the water drips down his body, the ends of his hair picking up all the water until it slowly drops and it does the same thing seconds later. You hate how his tan body peeks through the opened button-up.Â
He's here. Yet it seems like he's never been further since you came to Hawaii.
All of this is stupid. You've been through much worse back home and you were able to make up.
But there's a lot of stubbornness and until you get there, you'll have to get through this somehow.Â
âYou think that's the problem?â you question, seeing him giving you a confused look as he starts taking off his button-up.Â
He turns around to the sink, squeezing any water access he can from it. You don't move. You just shamelessly stare as he completely unbothered continues to do what he came here to do.
How dare he? Your self-consciousness mocks you.
âAnd what's the problem here exactly?â
He doesn't even spare you a glance, continuing to squeeze his completely scrunched up shirt.
âAre you seriously asking that?â
âI asked, didn't I?â
You scoff, ready to pounce on him. Not the good kind.Â
âThere's a thing that's called space.â
The double meaning sits in the air, yet he doesn't look perplexed by it. For all you know, he doesn't even notice it as he bluntly continues his task. It pisses you off.Â
âThere's enough space between us.â he simply says.
Your chest squeezes, causing you to purse your lips for a second as you breathe out. âYou can't be serious right now.â
âI'm not even looking at you,â he scoffs, âI'll just change my clothes and I'm out of here. If you wanna just stand there and wait, you're free to do that.â
The audacity of this man is beyond the words. Is this how payback feels like?
âOh, got it. You're eager to get out of here.â So you can get back to Nara, you want to add but decide not to. You would sound like a jealous bitch.
Somehow, Jungkook seems to get the hidden meaning behind it, almost as if he could hear your thoughts from out here. He chuckles, it's just the amused look he gives you that barely lasts a second, but it leaves you breathless and all exposed.Â
The dress clings to your skin, you want nothing more than to take it off. You don't dare to move though.Â
âMay I remind you it's you who wanted me so eagerly to be out there?â
It's like you speak in riddles, yet you both know the exact meaning of them. You both don't dare to say it out loud.Â
Getting tired of it, but mostly letting out the anger that you mainly hold for yourself, but for the man in front of you as well, you take an angry inhale of breath.Â
âWhat exactly is it that you want, Y/N?â His voice rings loudly in your head, even though there's nothing loud about his tone.
Shakingly breathing out, you quietly point out; âYou can't be fucking your best friend, Jungkook.â
The emphasis on your relationship is clear, though all Jungkook does is chuckle under his breath, scoffing. He throws his shirt into the sink, walking up to you. Your breath catches, though you can't almost anticipate once he's close to you. He stops, just centimeters from touching you. You can smell his faded cologne sticking to his skin and you almost crumble.Â
âWhat if I wanted to?â
âJungkookââ
âYou always make a decision without talking to me. It is yours, I respect it,â He stops for a brief moment. He stares your face up and down. âWhat exactly are you so scared of?â
And the fear comes rushing to you, mainly located in your chest as your hands flinch to squeeze it. You remain standing there, not being able to look him in the eyes. His eyes are on you, you feel every inch of them, the proximity they shine.Â
âThis is ridiculous.â You try to move past him but he stops you.Â
âIt is,â he agrees, âIs this about sex?â
âIt's not just about that!â you argue, voice hushed and almost scandalized that you're having this conversation in public. You only hope there's no one standing outside, able to hear you.Â
You heard Jungkook locking the door, but still â there might be people waiting.Â
âI know you,â he says silently but clearly. âI know there's something going on inside that pretty head of yours that you're not telling me.â
âStop.â
âAre you in love with me?â
You gasp, âWhat? No!â you push him, palms against his chest but he holds you by your wrist, amused by your sudden outburst.
âSo why are you so adamant on pushing me away? All of a sudden, may I add?â
He's asking all the right questions and you despise it at the moment.Â
âYou can't be fucking me forever, Jungkook. It must've ended at some point.â
âOhâand you just decided on it without talking to me?â he scoffs, âYou just randomly pushed me onto some random chick.â
âIf I remember, you're willingly spending your free time with this random chick.â
He grins, though there's nothing genuine about it. It's fueled with cockiness.Â
You might realize there's more to Jungkook's reaction. You suddenly start to understand why he's maybe hurt by your sudden twist of emotions. While you never came out of the wrong place, at least your intentions never did, you might understand what his problem is.
He expected you to communicate with him about it. He might be right about that, but you also had your own reasons and yes, maybe you fucked up and it didn't go as planned, but you won't take the blame for all of it.Â
It's hard to focus on it though, especially when there's unspoken annoyance and anger dancing around you two.Â
âIt was your suggestion.â he states matter-of-factly.
One, you regret.
He lets go of your wrists, but not before rubbing it softly with his thumbs. It's a minor detail, one you almost don't notice but it would be a total shame if you would.Â
âWith a good intention.âÂ
âAnd what's the intention?â he asks right away, tone slightly more defensive. âHuh?â
You open your mouth but nothing comes out of it.
Exactly â Jungkook's face says it all.
âTo push me away? Because you're too scared to communicate?â
Jungkook's annoyance comes mostly out of this. You've used to communicate and talk about everything. And that brings you to the point. Things have changed. There are minor details, perhaps even more minor than Jungkook's faint touch of affection he gave to your wrists just now. But in these kinds of situations you can perfectly see them.Â
Does he not see it?
âFine,â you spit out, âYou want me to communicate? I will.â
âAbout time!â he exclaims.
âI want you to meet new people. Be open to meeting new people.â
âWhat the hell are you talking about?â he grimaces.Â
âYou can't be open to meeting someone when you're fucking me the entire time!â you exclaim back, chest heaving as he looks taken back.
That's all gone as his brows furrow. âThat's not your decision to make. When I'm ready to meet someone, I will.â
âThat's not what I meantââ
âReally? Because that's all I could gather. If I wanted to be single for years, I easily could and that has nothing to do with you.â
Ouch.
âI knowââ
âDo you?â he asks. âBecause to me it seems like you don't get it. If you didn't wanna have sex with me so badly, you could've just easily called it off. For the hundredth time anyway.â he mocks the last part.
That's where you gasp and come up to him, invading his space. He doesn't seem to mind.
âBut you wanted it, didn't you?â
He taunts you, even though you're in his face, looking angry as ever â he remains calm and has all the control.
âA part of you still wants it. That's why you can't see me with Naraââ
âThat's not about her.â
âIs it not?â
âNo. I told you to meet people. That's all I wanted, don't you remember?â
He scans you for a moment. âSo we're at this point where we can fuck whoever we want?âÂ
Fuck. You did not expect him to ask this. Nor did you expect to get to this point. You led him to it. You are the reason why he's asking this. You don't blame yourself for this, it's a simple fact. It will happen sooner or later.Â
So why the fuck there's an answer caught in your throat?
âDo you want that?â he continues. âI promised you we would go here as friends. No sex. Anything.â
Your throat feels dry, painfully dry that it even hurts to swallow. There's nowhere to escape. There's an imaginary spotlight set on you, Jungkook's determined gaze making up for it.Â
âWe agreed to come here as friends.â
âThat's not what I'm asking.â His response comes quickly.
He stares at you, searching your face for something unknown and you shift under his gaze, causing your own eyes to trail somewhere else. You can't hold eye contact. He waits. But when he doesn't get anything in return, he simply scoffs or chuckles under his breath â you can't tell â and takes a few steps away from you.
His shorts go next, he takes them off and tries to squeeze any excess water.Â
âI just wanted you toâI thought it would be a good opportunity for you to meet someone new. It wasn't supposed to come out as pushy or anything.â you murmur gently under your breath.Â
He stops for a brief moment, not moving. âHow about talking to me next time, yeah?â
You nod, though you're not sure if he sees it. He's not even looking at you. Brows pinched in together, you watch him continue with his task.Â
âNoted.â You drop your head low.
âIf you want to fuck someone else so badly, just tell me.â
âThat's notââ Your reaction comes fast. Eyes wide and mouth open, you shake your head. âYou thinkââ
âDon't you?â he almost accuses you.Â
âYou think Iââ You make air quotes with your fingers, âpushed Nara on you because I wanna fuck someone else?â
âI no longer know what I think.â
âIf I wanted to do that, I would.â You assure him, comically using the same words he has used not that long ago. It's the truth.Â
âGood to know.â
âGood,â you exclaim. âI guess we can both agree that we're capable of doing what we want.â
âAre we?âÂ
Your mouth slightly opens. âHuh?â
âAre we capable of doing what we want?â
The shorts join his scrunched up shirt in the sink, knowing Jungkook will wash the hell out of it once he gets back. He loves to do his laundry. But that's besides the point.Â
What matters is how Jungkook inches closer to you, his eyes eating you up and noticing you haven't shredded a single piece of clothing. You catch a glimpse of your face in the mirror. Your pupils wide, an expectation screaming out of them while your skin remains wet. Trails of water trailing down between your breasts.Â
He follows it before his eyes slowly go up until they meet yours.
âPerhaps it's a curse or talent, but one look at you and I can already tell where your mind's at.â
He doesn't make you feel pathetic. He simply comments but finds some sort of enjoyment in it. The male's ego is never truly gone and you wish you could crash it, verbally using your mouth as you're good at it. It doesn't matter that his implication is true â it doesn't matter you both know it. You would fight and argue, just to compete his ego with your own.Â
It seems like you're not able to this time.Â
âYeah? And where's your mind at?â you try to sound unbothered, but the way your chest slowly starts to heave up completely betrays you.
âAt the same exact place where yours is. Unlike you, I'm not ashamed to say it out loud.â
He backs you to the counter, nowhere near touching you â yet he does it with a single stare and has you exactly where he wants you. The tip of your toes almost touch, his figure hovering over yours.
Gulping, you try to play it cool. âGo on then. Tell me.â
He chuckles, it's soft but holds amused darkness that's wrapped around his cords. âIf you insist.â
You don't. But you play into this fake illusion of not knowing what he's talking about. Just a pure excuse to try and prove him otherwise. To be honest, you might be curious about what he has to say. Jungkook has a good judgment for a character â when it comes to you. That obviously does not apply to his exes.
âI'm supposed to be somewhere else, physically and mentally, but here I am thinking of different ways of having you.â
You stop yourself just in time not to gasp out loud, showing him a vocal reaction other than your heart picking up its pace just at the single thought of it. Let alone having to hear him confess that.Â
Clearing your throat, you try to straighten your posture but end up brushing against his chest. You do your best at ignoring it, staring him straight in the eyes. âAnd that's what I want?â
Don't lie to yourself, the little devil of your consciousness ironically laughs. Of course you know all of this, you just have this urge to prove him otherwise and crush that confidence he has within himself.Â
âPlease, you're already salivating just from the thought of it.â
Narrowing your eyes at him, you argue: âNo, I am not.â
âTell me,â he cocks his head to the side. âWould you rather bend over the counter or sit on it?â
He sounds nothing but curious, not even feeding to your delusions of him being out of touch with reality. Only he is not.Â
âYou're an idiot.â you breathe out, trying everything to sound scandalized or offended. You would be able to fool if it was anyone else. But not him.
âFor speaking the truth?â
âYou're saying it as if I would want that. Listen to what I'm saying.â
He chuckles, shaking his head lightly. âWords are irrelevant when your eyes practically beg me to touch you.â
You know he chose a lighter version of what he would initially say. He wants to be way more explicit, but you're both dancing on the edge.
âYou think you know everything when it comes to me.â It sounds ridiculous coming out of your mouth. He doesn't appear to be offended because you both know how much he truly knows you.Â
To bring this conversation to a different topic, he chooses to ignore it and simply smiles.Â
âSo if I were to do thisââ He lightly touches the side of your neck, wrapping his hand carefully around it. You inhale shakily, not being able to control it. âWould you tell me to stop?â
He gently massages your pulse that moves under his thumb, watching goosebumps appear on your soft skin. His hand is gone before you can blink, but is soon replaced by his fingertips tracing down your neck, past your collarbone until they stop at top of your breasts.Â
âHm?â
You're not able to react. Your chest heaves, a glare fixated on him but no sound comes out of your mouth. He has you. Wrapped around his fingers, proving his point. Because of his ego and confidence, you know he's proving it to you rather than to anyone else. He can be that annoying.Â
Close to leaning toward his touch, the tip of his fingers play with the hem of your dress, occasionally and very faintly touch your skin. His other hand goes down, playing at the fabric of where your dress ends. It goes up, fabric gathering over his wrist. You shudder, mentally begging him to do more.
As if he could read your mind, his eyes look up without having to move his head, dark sinister spark in them. When he doesn't see you protesting, merely making sure of your current state, he does not waste a second and pulls the top hem of your dress. Revealing your breasts, he sucks in breath at the perked nipples. His hold on the dress tightens and within seconds, his mouth is wrapped around your nipple.
âFuck.â you moan, throwing your head back as you arch into him.
He's like a starving man, perhaps he is from the stupid condition you've made up, but so are you. The other hand grasps the back of your thigh, molding his fingers into your skin as if he wants to leave as many imprints as he can.Â
Teeth grazing your teeth, he wraps his hand around your neck once more and makes you look at him. You just stare at each other, not an ounce of shame written on your faces. Your noses touch, your mouth already opened as small gasps similar to moans escape. You beg him to kiss you.Â
He doesn't.Â
Instead, he drops down to his knees and before you know it, his hands disappear underneath your dress and shamelessly pull down your only piece of underwear. Once that's done, he hoists up your leg over his shoulder and dives in right away. You can barely grab the edge of the sink counter and balance yourself on it, before his mouth is on you.Â
âJungkookââ
You swear you hear him chuckle, but you're too distracted by the shots of pleasure he's attacking you with. He shows no mercy. Fingers wrapped in his hair, you tug onto his roots as he moans against you.Â
Nobody does it like you.Â
While that thought normally scares you, now you're fucking grateful he's the one that's between your legs.Â
You come embarrassingly fast, trying to keep yourself silent from moaning and embarrassingly so, you have no idea whether you've succeeded or not. Jungkook fucks you through it with his mouth, stopping just at the right time as he pulls away.
Lips swollen and red, eyes drinking you up, he effortlessly stands up. âWas this anything relatively close to where your mind was?â
It was far dirtier but there's nothing to be disappointed about. When it comes to orgasm and Jungkook, he never disappoints.Â
âI can't complain.â you breathe out, watching how he pulls up your dress and covers your breasts to give you at least some kind of modesty.Â
It's a single detail, one he never had to do and you never fully noticed â but no matter what, Jungkook always looks out for you. A blunt apology wants to come out, for numerous reasons of the misunderstanding of your own fears and good intentions, but Jungkook takes a few steps back.Â
âChange your clothes, I will wait outside.â he says, quickly changing his own before leaving you up to it.Â
You turn around, not being able to let go of the counter as you grip it harder and stare at your face. He didn't even go all the way and you look like you've had the time of your life.Â
Once again, you and Jungkook have succumbed to your desires and broken the only condition you've had for this vacation. It should leave you disappointed and perhaps you are little, but you're definitely satisfied for the time being.Â
At least until you have to walk out of the door and face the storm in the form of your best friend.Â
Your knees and hands have stopped buckling by the time you've changed into dry clothes. Nothing screams more than a tourist wearing an oversized shirt with a huge label saying âI love Hawaiiâ, an image of a red heart replacing the word love. It's something you would've worn to bed to sleep in â or at the beach to cover up the least â not parading yourself in it in public.Â
The sense of fashion is the last of your worries or things on your mind though.Â
Jungkook has waited outside of the door, guarding it safely. After his sudden leave, you did not lock the door which could be a terrible mistake if Jungkook wasn't there to make sure no one walks in. Somehow, you knew he was right behind that door.
The walk toward the rest of the group is spent in silence. As if his mouth wasn't all over your private areas. The memory of it makes an excitement bubble in your stomach, even though it should probably be at least a hint of some kind of regret.Â
You do not regret the act itself. Mostly, it's just you being so weak to prevent it.Â
Maya would surely get the baggage off your shoulders, supporting this wild decision. But she just doesn't get it.Â
Simple walk to find your newfound friends â or whatever you would call them â makes you miss your real friends. You wonder how things would go if they were here.Â
Maybe it's just your stupid naivety of believing that it would be different. No matter what, it seems you and Jungkook always find your way to each other â intimately speaking.Â
One thing's for sure.Â
Jungkook has confronted you. There's truth to both sides.Â
Of course the man can have anyone he points his finger at. It was your foolishness to think this vacation was the perfect chance at it. Selfishly, you might've done it more for yourself than for him.Â
And what if you would meet someone as well?Â
It would certainly make things easier. The decision would be way easier too.
Gabriel is handsome. Hot and charming. Practically the perfect package for a vacation hook-up. And as much as would be leant toward maybe kissing him at least, you can't do that when Jungkook is right there.Â
Once you find them, the mood is sour between you and you're not even trying to hide it. Maybe it's the lack of smile and a big portion of silence that makes them notice it. No one comments on it. In fact, you don't think it's worth being commented on.Â
Their positivity and good mood continues to be unaffected.
âWe dodged the whole frozen yogurt, heard there are these best waffles somewhere around here with fresh fruit. Wanna go there instead?â Gabriel is the first one to ask, eyes finding your figure as soon as you approach them.
In this heat, sweet food or a snack is the least of your cravings.Â
âI'm actually not hungry at all,â you respond, feeling guilty for not being up for this idea.Â
Gabriel looks confused for a moment, certainly remembering you were all up for frozen yogurt just a few minutes ago. Like the gentleman he is, he doesn't question you but you can see the questions running inside his head.Â
Maybe he doesn't want to do it in front of his friends.Â
âThe heat is killing me.â you add, trying to save it.
He nods, glancing toward the man next to you who hasn't made a move to⌠move. âJungkook?â
âI already had a dessert.â he comments, shamelessly staring at the side of your face.
Eyes almost bulging out, you keep your calm and try to not react. Even though Jungkook has not worded it out weirdly to give anyone a big suspicion, it's you and your guilt that makes it think it's so obvious. You wish you could glare at him, but you know there are eyes on you.
âWe stopped by the fruit stand, so we had that on our way here.â you lie, straight through your teeth and even though you could be defined as the worst liar ever, this lie comes out sweet and believable. But it's Gabriel's eyes that continue to stare and watch you like you're the biggest open book.Â
Fuck.
âYeah, the fruit here tastes nice.â Jungkook continues and you do everything in your power not to smack him across that bratty mouth. Mouth you wish you could have kissed.Â
You give him a look, but he just cocks his brow at you. âYeah, Jungkook came up with this ideaââ
âDid I?â
You glare at him, âAnywayâsorry, I know we wanted to go there together.â
âIt's fine,â Gabriel laughs, âWe're still gonna get it. You guys are still going with us, right?â
âYeah, sure!â you force yourself to smile, joining Gabriel as you feel Jungkook's burning gaze on your back.Â
That's until you hear Nara's voice behind you, making a casual conversation between them and diverting his attention elsewhere.Â
Once the sun is slowly setting down, you part ways and go back to the beach house in silence. No difference happens once you're inside, just the two of you.Â
The past two hours spent with people you've met here felt like a torture. That's what you at least thought until you and Jungkook continued to pass by each other as you two are getting ready. Comically enough, not to go somewhere together but with different people.
He kept his word and accepted Nara's offer to go out tonight. Whether he's doing this to piss you off or because he wants to is unknown to you. Perhaps there was a slight hope that you two would just come to an agreement to cancel and go somewhere together. Even staying inside would be enough.
Once Nara asked Jungkook if their plan is still on and Jungkook so shamelessly confirmed, all the hope left as soon as it came. Gabriel has done the same with you and there was nothing other for you to do, then to agree.
It's a pure comedy. If there was a third person just watching the two of you, they would have the time of their life. Somehow you can imagine Taehyung here, sitting on the couch as he judges you two but stays entertained throughout the entire time.
After taking a shower, you end up doing your make-up in the living room with the smallest mirror you've brought on this vacation. Your previous plan of doing it in the bathroom where there is a massive mirror has failed as soon as Jungkook uttered his need to use the shower as well.Â
You're not sure if he's done it on purpose, but he sure as hell took his time there. You're putting on the lipstick when he finally decides to get out of there.
Both of you stop.
He's wearing an all white â button-up with shorts that reach just above his knees. Shorts you didn't even know he owns. He looks elegant, yet casual just for the hot weather even though there's a slight darkness outside. His slicked back hair definitely helps.
Jungkook's eyes fall down on your figure. You're wearing a simple short black dress but the gold necklace and red lipstick adds a pinch of sexiness to it. None of you are overdressed or could win the outfit of the year, yet you can't keep eyes off each other.Â
You're the first one to break it, standing up and tidying up your make-up stuff that's all over the table, but not before raising a provocative brow at him. He scoffs as he walks past you without any word, his cologne the only thing left and lingering. Out of his sight, you close your eyes and breathe out the gathered breath in your lungs.Â
The two of you leave at the same time, in different directions to different people.
The restaurant where Gabriel has taken you is nice and they have a variety of food on their menu. You have a nice view of the beach and sea which adds points in your imaginary review of this place. You've got to be honest â Gabriel definitely went out his way to invite you here.
He doesn't mention his friend â Nara â not even once and while you're not sure if you want to hear the reminder of her hanging out with Jungkook at the moment, you hope you won't bump into each other. You feel bad.Â
You listen and talk to him, but your mind is all over the place. You should've known you won't be able to enjoy tonight if there's someone you've fought with. And with Jungkook out of all people.Â
At least the food is nice.
After two hours of good dinner and dessert, and a few glasses of wine, Gabriel decides to walk you back to the beach house. You're not stupid to decline it, especially at night. Before that you decide to take a quick walk down the beach.
âSo, what are you saying? Was the dinner that bad?â
You give him a look, chuckling. âDid it meet your expectations of getting to know me?â
Now he's the one who laughs. âYeah,â he nods. âKinda makes it hard for me to go back to Italy.â
You raise your brow, smirking. âSo you're saying you're not going where I go?â
He laughs at your joke, âI'm thinking of it.â
âYeah, sure.â you laugh, âOne dinner is all it took?â
âYou're special.â
And you're more likely looking for a hook-up, you think. You both know there's no future to this.Â
âI am special?â you snicker, âIs that what you say to all the girls?â
âIs it working?â he teases.
âNah, it takes more effort when it comes to me.âÂ
He stops in his tracks which causes you to do the same. He stares, eyes dropping down your lips and red lights flare in your mind. Knowing what it most likely means, you quickly turn away.Â
âCome on, I'm so full I could fall asleep.â
Cringing at yourself, Gabriel follows and doesn't seem to be shaken up from it. He continues to talk and the mood is pretty much loosen up, which has been from the beginning. You had a good time and it went better than you expected it to.Â
Gabriel doesn't try to kiss you and you bid goodbye with a casual hug, both of you understanding that nothing will come out of this.Â
The lights are on as you open the unlocked door, meaning that Jungkook is already back. It seems like he just came as he came out of the bathroom, surprised to see you there.Â
âHow was your date?â he asks, looking away from you in a second.
âIt wasn't a date.â you clarify which makes him snicker. âWhat? It wasn't.â
âAn Italian guy wants to make plans with you, alone. You might be right, it's not about a date at all.â
You give him an offensive look, âAre you insinuating that all I'm good for is a hook-up?â
âNo, don't twist up my words.â He immediately stops your mind to go somewhere his mind doesn't even get close to. âI'm insinuating that a guy from freaking Italy suddenly shows his interest in you, when you live across the world.â
You frown, watching him reach for a glass of whiskey you haven't noticed before. He's not drunk but what he is, is confidently smirking in your face as if he knows everything. Well, he's not too far off. Gabriel wants to have fun and while he seems to be a decent human being, he's not about to move to a country to be with you. You wouldn't expect him to anyway.
âBut you're right,â He purses his lips, the rim of the glass almost touching it as he lets out the tiniest chuckle that's supposed to be hidden. âHe's probably wanting to marry you.â
He's provocating you. The plans have not turned out the way you both wanted to â but it is what it is. Your curiosity almost kills you and your impatient-self wants to ask him about this date, or whatever it was. This is a game, you realize.Â
And you won't let him have that satisfaction of you asking.Â
âHe wanted to kiss me tonight.â you inform him.
You watch him take a sip, pursing his lips right after as you slowly watch him swallow down the hard liquor. âI'm sure he wanted to do much more.â
Is that a jealousy you hear?Â
No one has quite peaked your interest regarding this matter. Judging by Jungkook's confidence, he knows that.Â
âNext time I will let him kiss me. Maybe then he will want to marry me eventually.â You give him a false smile, stopping right beside him as he wants you with a clenched jaw.Â
Not giving him a chance to respond, you walk away with confident steps into the bedroom. The door closes and your back meets the wood. You can feel your heart in your neck, all the facade of confidence and peace leaves and you softly bang your head against it.Â
What you said was completely stupid. You don't want to kiss Gabriel. In fact, the thought of it is nowhere near as exciting as one would expect it to be. Both of you know that the second part was only said to piss him off and prove a point.Â
The questions areâŚ
Will you let him kiss you next time?
Did or will Jungkook kiss someone else in here?
The ongoing battle that you're in the middle of has not ended.Â
Both sleeping at the very both ends, as far away from each other as possible, has been a good way to start the day. It's not like you expected to cuddle during the night.Â
That's not what friends do, your mind wants to say. But you've crossed that line too many times. You're not the typical friends either, that ship has sailed a long time ago.Â
You shouldn't have pushed him away. It's too late to take it back. For a moment you think of coming to Jungkook, apologize and somehow talk yourself out of this impossible battle you're in. You're willing to take all the blame for it.Â
However, that's all gone as soon as you hear Jungkook calling with who you assume is Nara, his tone sweet and sounding exciting as they make plans for today. You stand there, making yourself a coffee as you try not to listen to their ridiculous conversation. How can you not?Â
Jungkook sits right behind you, even if you didn't want to listen â it's impossible for you not to. He knows that. He knows you're listening. You're the one who has come in the middle of their conversation.
The call ends after a minute, your coffee ready but your mind isn't when you turn around and face the devil. You've seen him from the corner of your eyes when you entered the kitchen area, but nothing prepares you for the shirtless Jungkook. His hair isn't messy, he seems to be well put and from the looks of it, he came out of the shower not that long ago.Â
He cocks his brow at you, questioning your stare making your features harden. âHaving a date today?â
You painfully watch the way the corner of his mouth slowly lifts up as he chuckles. âCareful, you start to sound jealous.â
âMe? Don't be ridiculous,â you scoff, âWhere is she from again? Doesn't she live across the world?â
Jungkook features lighten up with pure amusement as you use his words against him. âAt least I can admit this is a date.â
âI simply hung out with a guy. We never stated it's a date.â you point out, knowing it sounds silly but Gabriel just wanted to get to know you. You never officially called it a date.
Jungkook stands up, grabbing his empty plate as he gives you another one of his snickers. âBe in denial all you want.â
âYou know what?â He raises his brow in question, too close to you as he reaches to put the plate into the sink. âI'm not gonna spend this morning arguing with you. If I wanted it to be a date, I would make it perfectly clear to him.â
He smiles, but there's nothing sweet about it. âA date or a chance for a hook-up. I don't see the difference.â
He does. Jungkook has always been the dating type rather than the hook-up one. Your two friends have taken that label since forever. But obviously, he's not talking about himself.Â
Suddenly, the air becomes thick and you stare right into his dark eyes. He's hovering over you, his scent luring you in as his eyes dance across your face. âMaybe you should take your own advice.â
He pulls away, giving you a chance to breathe again as you quickly recover. âYeah? And what would that be?â
Jungkook grabs his phone and looks at you across his shoulder. âYou should meet new people.â
Your mouth opens and you stare for a moment before you scoff, âIf I wanted to date, I would already have like hundreds of boyfriends. The same goes if I was looking for a hook-up.â
âGood for you.â he calls out bitterly, leaving you in the kitchen with a fuming gaze and burning heart.Â
But you realize one thing. How selfish you've just sounded. Jungkook has told you the same thing.Â
If any of you wanted that, you could've easily done so. Yet your reason for saying it to him and what ultimately started this argument, is completely different.
Jungkook is a dick.Â
He has left for his date or whatever the fuck it is, and has left you alone in the house even without asking whether you have plans or not. You know your relationship right now is not at its best stage, but little consideration could not hurt. Especially since he's always been caring and considerate no matter how much your relationship has taken a different turn.Â
It's one of the reasons why you desperately wanted to move on. Throw your past away and come back to the friendship you've known since the beginning. It leaves you agreeing that your original intention has come from a good place.
Luckily, Gabriel seems to show interest in you, still, after the little rejection you've given him after his attempt to kiss you. He comes to you a little after you come to the beach to just lay there. He's been there with his friends since this morning â at their usual spot. Nara is nowhere in sight and much to your distaste, you know who's she with.Â
So once Gabriel invites you to hang out with them, you agree and would rather spend your alone time in a company of many people, than to dwell all alone about your decisions in life. He keeps you entertained and busy, away from your haunting thoughts. UntilâŚ
âNara is with your friend. You know where they went?âÂ
You sit at a bar, drinking lemonade in this burning weather and you're thankful for the sunglasses you're wearing, so he's not about to see the tiniest roll of your eyes. âNo idea. He forgot to mention.â
In the morning which is the last time you've seen him. He just left you to be with another woman, in a foreign country. You know you can call him anytime. Even now â no matter what your relationship looks like, he would be here in a second if you called and needed him. But still â you're mad he just left without saying anything. Deep down you know that's not the only thing that irritates you.Â
âNara fancies him a lot.â
So? You want to say. What are you supposed to do with this information?
âReally?â You're trying to sound surprised. But even Gabrielâ who had so little time to get to know you â catches onto the tone and laughs. âIt's pretty obvious.â You try to save it by simply stating.Â
âShe did ask him to go out again today. From what I know, she was never the one who asked someone out.â
âWhere does she live again?â you ask, taking a sip off a lemonade trying to quench the fire inside you.Â
âSpain.â
âIt's not like there's any future to it.â
Gabriel stays silent and just stares, while you continuously take innocent sips. âActually, Nara has applied for some modeling jobs in Korea.â
He's definitely not talking about North Korea, unfortunately that's unrealistic.
âOh,â
Well, fuck. This just gave a completely different turn of event.
Considering your luck, she probably applied to your modeling agency as well. Many foreigners do. You just hope no one will mention it. Not to be a bitch, but you can imagine someone asking you to help her to get in. That's beyond your competency. But you could always mention her to Junho.
Oh my god. Jungkook has worked there too. He probably has saved your boss' number. While you think Jungkook wouldn't cross that invisible line you've set, he's always trying to help and save the day.
âListen, how about I take you out for dinner tonight?â
That's⌠shocking.
After the last time you ended things, you thought he gave up. But you should've known better. It seems guys like him barely give up.
âWhat's else for us to do?â he chuckles, not really waiting for an answer but it still comes.
âWhat do you mean?â
He looks at you, reaching for his drink as his shoulders relax. âOur friends are meeting with each other almost every day.â
The taste of your non-alcoholic drinks becomes bitter on the tip of your tongue, just as much as your mood does. âAs far as I know, you've got other friends here.â
âBut none of them are you.â
Smooth. The little smirk you give him tells him everything. He's aware of his smooth delivery of compliments. You've got to give it to him â he knows his way around girls.Â
It's not like you have anything else to do. Jungkook seems to be busy and does not care what you do here anymore. And Gabriel's company is nice. If it's true what he said about Nara coming to Korea, there's a bigger chance of them making future plans together. And as much as this thought leaves the most bitter taste on your tongue, you'll leave that move for Jungkook to make.Â
After all, that's what you wanted for him and who are you to stand in his way.Â
Purposely not verbally reacting to Gabriel's flirting, you shrug and lean in your seat. âDinner sounds perfect.â
Legs resting on top of the coffee table, Gossip Girl plays in the background as you mindlessly pop grapes in your mouth. Maybe you're silently imagining it's Jungkook whom you're crushing between your teeth.Â
After spending almost the full day with Gabriel and then the rest of his friends, you've come to the beach house finding it completely empty. It looks exactly where it's left off and you're embarrassed to admit that you've checked Jungkook's things to see if they've moved. And perhaps he was here. They haven't, which only meant one thing â Jungkook hasn't come here yet.
Sooner than later, the door opens and there he is.Â
He does not seem surprised to see you there â almost as if he knew you wouldn't be anywhere else. You give him that much satisfaction of looking at him once he arrives, acknowledging his late arrival. You hate what you do but it has its own purpose. And that is the single glare you give him.Â
You feel like a mother, silently scolding her child for coming home late.Â
He goes for a shower right away and you battle with thoughts of him, erasing the traces of possible sex on his skin. He comes back after a few minutes, wearing just his boxers with wet hair. You want to scold him for walking around like that, but that would be slightly selfish for numerous reasons. Is he torturing you on purpose?
He joins you on the couch, not questioning your choice of TV show as he knows you've previously seen it. As he sits down, you can't hold it back and just come straight to the point.Â
âWill you help her?â
Your gaze is focused on the TV screen, but you feel his own burning the side of your face. âHuh?â
âNara.â
He just stares which causes you to look at him and roll your eyes at him. âShe applied for modeling agencies in Korea.â
âKorea is huge,â he says after a moment. âAnd how do you even know that?â
âGabriel told me.â You try to not sound too proud.
âWhen?â he asks confusingly. âShe told me just today.â
He's questioning if you've known this information sooner but never told him.Â
This time you inform him with a smug face. âHe told me today as well.â
The revelation that you haven't spent your day here alone is out. He is unreadable. He just watches you, almost as if he wants to make sure you're not making this up. Too bad for him. You're not making anything up and this time you're not too shy to show how proud you are for it.Â
âWhat? You thought I was here all alone while you went on a date?âÂ
It's a purposeful jab, one that leads to nothing but disaster but you don't care. You're mad and annoyed. And now he knows why. Yet he doesn't make any effort to make an excuse for himself.Â
âYou brought him here?âÂ
First of all â you're not sure what would be so bad about it, even if you brought him here. But then it clicks. Jungkook has his own assumptions and bringing a guy here, while you're all alone could mean different things. Your skin is moisturized and you smell like your shower gel, which means you've left the shower not that long ago.
Perhaps it could be considered as disrespectful if you indeed brought him into a house, Jungkook rented and is a space for you two. You could understand that.
If the roles were reversed and you found out he brought Nara here â well⌠the thought of it doesn't sit well with you. But what does, when it comes to her?
âNo, he asked me out after you so kindly left me here to go on your stupid date.â you huff out, standing up and forgetting about your TV show. The controller is tossed on the couch as you leave without looking at him.Â
Your steps lead to the bathroom where there's a slight trace of foggy mirror left after Jungkook's shower. Mentally groaning at the scent of him dominating in the room, you reach toward the sink faucet in a desperate need to freshen up your burning face.
You don't get to turn the water on as Jungkook is in your tracks, a burning gaze aimed at you. âYou seemed to have solved it pretty quickly.â
Realizing he meant your accusation of leaving you to go on a date, you scoff.Â
âI wasn't about to sit here and sulk, waiting like a dog for you. If that's what you were planning for me to do.â
âI wasn't planning that,â he states, even though he wants to be just as mad for some reason. âI wasn't planning on being out until now.â
âWell, you were!â you exclaim.Â
âSorry.â
âSorry? Is that all you've got to say?â
He leans against the door frame, arms crossed over his chest. âWhat am I supposed to say?â
âYou know what? Nothing. Say nothing.â you fume, forgetting your dumb purpose in the bathroom anyway as you rush to get past him. But as soon as you get close, his hand around your wrist stops you.Â
The touch is electrifying, sadly not in an awful way and you hate how your body reacts to him naturally. âDid you at least have fun?â you scoff.
âWould you be mad if I said I did?â
You almost cry, like a child but the anger inside you is bigger than anything else and you shake his hold on you. âAnd did you have fun?â
âLots of it.â you spit the words at him.
You both stare into each other's eyes, the anger screaming out of them and yet the question you want to ask is unspoken.
âGood.â
âGoodnight Jungkook.â you murmur, walking away and quickening up the pace before you can do something you really want to, but would regret later.Â
One would think that after yesterday's exchange of pitiful words, you two would have solved it or at least tried to voice the problem here. It seems there is not enough pity and when the two of you want to, you could be the biggest pity bitches.
âMilk?â
Side-eyed look toward Jungkook, having two bowls of cereal ready and awaiting your answer. âI can make myself breakfast.â
âMilk?â he asks through his teeth, causing you to roll your eyes behind his back as you sit down.
âYes.â
Whether this is his way of saying sorry for yesterday or not is unknown and you're not about to investigate it. You mutter a silent thank you once the bowl is set in front of you and you two dig into your breakfast without any other sort of conversation.Â
The rest of the morning goes like this. One word communication which seems almost like a challenge. Phones are your best friend but both of you are stubborn to talk. You swim in the pool for the first time since you're here, enjoying the sun warming your skin as Jungkook goes for his morning jog and comes back an hour later.
You're playing quiet house, so it seems.Â
As the day goes, it's more than clear that both of you have plans tonight. Separate plans.Â
Jungkook's phone goes off and he goes inside to take the call, after joining you in the pool. Trying to keep your nerves to yourself, you've had to endure his presence (lack of clothed presence). You went to rest on a beach chair while he swam. PAIN.
It's close to dinner time and you both get ready. Unlike Jungkook, you spend more time in the bathroom to do your hair and make-up, which he so âkindlyâ reminds you every time he wants to take a shower or goes to grab something there.Â
The air is thick and it has nothing to do with the scent of hairspray and your fragrance.Â
None of you ask what's your plan for tonight. But both of you can tell. No details though.
âYou done here?â
You stop in the middle of putting your lipstick on as you give him a look, âDoes it look like it?â
Ignoring the attitude in your tone, Jungkook comes up to the mirror and by doing that, he moves you to the side. He almost causes the lipstick to meet your cheek and you can tell, you almost see a smirk curling his lips.Â
âDon't look at me like that. You've been here for a long time.â he says without sparing you a glance.
While you watch from the side with an open mouth and disbelief written on your face, he easily grabs his hair gel and starts doing his own hair. You fume, snatching your make-up bag and stomping away to finish what you haven't had the chance to â thanks to Jungkook.Â
By the time you're done, Jungkook has left without saying another word. You haven't even heard him leaving and you feel pathetic as you search him around the house, all while trying to look for something. Turns out there's no one here and he has left. First and again.Â
Luckily, Gabriel texts you not that long after and proposes a short walk. He doesn't want to reveal the restaurant location but he had to make a reservation, which already sounds fancy as it is. You're hungry and considering you're not in your best state, still fuming, you decide not to complain. First of all, it's not polite at all.
Gabriel is trying and just because you're in a mood to be a bitch, doesn't mean he's the one who deserves it. At least there's some sort of self-reflection happening.Â
And two, maybe it's a good idea to walk around a bit to come to different thoughts. Plus, you will eat more by the time you arrive at the restaurant.Â
He has cleaned up nicely, catching female eyes as you walk around for a few minutes. The walk has been short, just enough to make a casual conversation until you arrive.
The restaurant is located on a pier, waiters all wearing fancy white shirts and slacks â a difference from all the shirts with Hawaiian motifs and skin showing.Â
As you're led to your table, you notice there's not a single table free and tonight it's fully packed.
âWhat is this place?â you ask as soon as the waiter hands you menus and leaves after.Â
âIt's the most famous restaurant on this island.â
Your mouth opens and then it closes again. âAre you insane?â
He laughs, staring at you fondly as if you haven't been too bold with your words. âThis is what I like about you.â
âWhat,â
âYour honesty,â he hums, âIt's refreshing. You don't try to woo me.â
âWhy would I woo you?â you ask, genuinely curious but again, it comes out a little bluntly which causes him to laugh again.Â
âOuch,â he jokes, holding his chest as you stare at him across the table. âYou're in this world to punish men for their overly huge egos.â
You purse your lips, âI'm not in this world for men, first of all.â
âTechnically, you are thanks to one.â
Your nose scrunches up which causes him to laugh again. âThat's besides the point.â
âSo is there anyone who's been trying to woo you instead?â
âBesides you, no. Not at the moment.â
He cracks another laughter, âTouchĂŠ. I deserved that.â
Giggling, you shake your head at your conversation.
âSo tell meââ His words drift away because in the midst of your laughter, you spot someone entering your line of vision.
The world could not be any more cruel at the moment. There they are.Â
Jungkook and Nara enter the pier as they're seated by the waiter, just like you were minutes ago. Jungkook, the gentleman he is, pulls out the chair for her as she giggles with a bright smile. Clearly wooed herself by the sweet gesture.Â
âYou've got to be kidding me.â you mutter so silently, that you're sure Gabriel can't make the words out but it's enough to silence him as he follows your gaze.Â
He turns around and lets out a surprised, but light sound.Â
âOh, I guess me and your friend think alike.â
You try hard not to make a sour expression as you clear your throat. âLet's not interrupt them. What were you saying?â
âIs there someone waiting for you? Back in Seoul?â
âI told you, I'm single.â you chuckle.
âI know, but that doesn't mean there's not someone who's ready to fight for you.â
Your fingers stop clicking and you gulp.Â
âSo you're telling me there's no one in your life? Not even recently?â
It's like he can see there's something on your mind. You decide to come up with half of the truth. It's not like you'll see him again.
âThereâIt wasn't a relationship, more like a relationship of convenienceââ
âSo, a hook-up partner, right?â
Lips in a straight line, you hum in confirmation. âYeah, whatever. We ended it, so it felt like a good decision to come here and just relax. Come to different thoughts.â
Cominically enough, you came here with a person you're currently talking about. The one who's sitting just a few tables from you two.
God, you sound so stupid. Of course, you're not telling Gabriel the whole truth. The purpose of coming here with Jungkook was to enjoy it, strengthen your friendship â the previous one you've had. You had an agreement.Â
Somehow, you end up arguing thanks to you and it gets all twisted.
âWell, I know you were supposed to come here with your friends. So I understand why you would do that.â
âIt's not just because of that. We were planning this for months. It was supposed to be a friends' vacation.â
He hums in understanding and doesn't get the opportunity to speak, as the waiter comes back and asks for your order. After you've ordered your meal, Gabriel leans back and studies you for a short moment. Just before you're about to ask about his lingering gaze and its purpose behind it, he speaks.Â
âYou're not really looking for a relationship, are you?â
Your brows shoot up at the unexpected question. For a while, you're not sure how to answer and your face says it all. In the end, you shrug and voice your confusion. âWhat's with the sudden question?â
âI apologize,â he smiles, âI had to voice my curiosity and I wonder if I was right.â
You lean back, fingers clicking against the table. âI'm not against it. If it comes, I welcome it.â
âHm,â he hums. âSo no hard break-up?â
âWhy do you think so?â
âI don't know, there's just something about you that I can't seem to crack.â
âSometimes some things aren't meant to be cracked.â you tell him, making him smile at the possible truth.Â
âSometimes,â he agrees. âI'm sorry if I seem to be nosy.â
âNo, it's okay. Trust me, I win when it comes to curiosity.â you admit with a silent laugh.Â
âI travel a lot, so I don't really have enough time to properly date. No woman wants a man who's ten months out of the country out of the year.â
âWhat do you do again?â
âContent creator.â
âOh, so you're an influencer?âÂ
He laughs, âNot really. I do write for a traveling blog.â
âMaybe you'll find someone you can date and travel with.â
âUnfortunately, you don't seem that kind of person.â
You laugh, âI do enjoy Seoul. It's home by now.â
It doesn't take a genius to realize that the only contact he gets through women is mostly by hooking-up. Though, by the look of it it seems that maybe he's longing for something more stable and serious.Â
âYou know, this time I'm here for a good vacation. No work. No writing.â
âThat's great. I'm assuming all that traveling is tiring.â
âIt is. I enjoy it and I love my job. But I came here to maybe come to new thoughts.â he explains.Â
The waiter brings you your food shortly after. There's no awkward silence during eating, you keep a slightly lighter conversation as Gabriel remains nothing but a gentleman. You would lie if you said you're purposely focusing your gaze on the plate, rather than on Gabriel fearing your eyes would wander somewhere they should not.Â
You don't care. Maybe they noticed you and clearly decided not to interrupt you as well. Or maybe there's still that awkward awaiting of them noticing. Sipping on a drink, in a hope it will bring you to different thoughts and help you relax a little bit more.Â
The reason for your slight discomfort doesn't need to be named.Â
âYou assumed, I've been through a break-up. Why?â you ask, curious as he seems taken back.
âI asked more than assumed,â he corrects. You don't seem to be buying that statement but remain silent. âAt first I thought you're not interested in me, particularly. But I get a feeling you're just not interested in general.â
âWhy's that?â
Yes. He might be right. You're not necessarily trying to search for someone. But you don't get a feeling as if you were against it.
âLet me be bold here.â
âPlease.â you encourage him.
âThere are men who can't keep their eyes off you. And I simply noticed by spending time with you.â
You give him a doubtful look which he quickly disregards by shaking his head.
âMen are men.â you simply tell him.
He makes a disapproving sound. âThere are hundreds of women at the beach, but the majority of them stare at you.â
âOkay, now you're just giving me a compliment.â
âI am not,â he laughs gently, âI could but I guess it is a compliment when there are men thirsting over you.â
âLike I said. Men are men. They're thirsting over anything that wears a bikini.â
âThatâcan be true. But my point still stands.â
You clear your throat, âOkay. Maybe I'm not completely in a place where I'm searching for a relationship. I never hid that.â
âOf course. But that's why I just tried to prove my point why I think you're not interested.â
You stay silent for a second. He's technically a stranger but it seems as if you were having this conversation with a friend. You don't feel uncomfortable and there's no need for you to get defensive over this topic. He's wondering and that's fine.Â
âIt wasn't a relationship. Just a hooking-up type of one and we ended it. So I just need to get things back how they were.â
And comically enough, the person who's a part of this is sitting just right over there. Even though Gabriel seems to notice quite a few things, Jungkook and your history with him seems to be oblivious to him.
Why do you care?
You've been trying to keep it a secret as long as possible until it got out. So what if he knows the truth? It's not like you'll see him again â most likely. You don't need anyone to judge you two or look at you differently. You definitely don't need any more insights into this matter than your friends have delivered.Â
Your own mind is a mess.
And on top of it, Jungkook and you are on edge.Â
The mention of him causes you to look up. And fuck. What a mistake you make.Â
You meet Jungkook's gaze, the intense color in them burning even from this distance as he's already looking at you. Your breath hitches in the most subtle way. While you stare shocked that he has noticed you, his brows are pinched together.
He's not exactly pleased to find you here.Â
Nara sits on the opposite side of the table, so all you can see is her back but she seems to be saying something to him. Jungkook reaches for the glass of wine and takes a few sips, eyes not leaving yours.Â
Then he's the first one to look away. That tiny detail affects you more than you're able to admit and you almost fume when the frown disappears from his face. You watch it all. His features relax as he talks to her back, obviously listening to her even though his eyes were elsewhere. Even that is kind of annoying.Â
Nara gently throws her head back and giggles almost so loudly, that you hear some of it. With the most burning eyes you watch Jungkook smile and let out the prettiest gentle laugh.
âAre you okay?â
You quickly avert your gaze to Gabriel. âYeah.â
âThought I already bore you.â
You push out a laugh, wishing Jungkook is looking. But once your eyes stupidly wander back to him â he actually is looking.Â
You make sure Jungkook sees the tiny provoking movement upwards of your lips. And he does. His eyes narrow, addressing the glare to you and only you.
âNo, I'm starting to have a lot of fun.â
Gabriel's and yours glasses clink together comically in a synchronized way. But the only ones who seem to be on the same wavelength and having an idea â are you and Jungkook.
a/n: F-IâN-A-L-L-Y! believe it or not, nobody wanted to get this chapter out more than me! if you've been around and reading some of the asks, you probably know life got crazy and busy! as always, I'm super grateful to everyone who's been patient for me and cheering on me whether it was online or offline ⥠to every person who's been harassing me on the internet over an update, this one's not for you. I see you and I'm not interested. I've said this in one of my asks â you never know what someone goes through offline and what could possibly be the reason of their lack of activity.
on another note, this chapter should've had more scenes and so much more was supposed to happen, but from obvious reasons I've decided to post it in the end because I still think it's a good chapter. anyway, I hope you'll like it just as much as I liked it when I was writing it (no matter how much time it took me đĽ´) all the love goes to you guys!
If youâve enjoyed this chapter, please consider buying me a coffeeâď¸: https://ko-fi.com/personasintro ⥠Teaser for chapter 60 will be posted there!
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yesterday afternoon - after an unsuccessful coffee shop date - youâd decided that dating sucked. it was much too awkward and formal and not at all like it was in the movies, putting too much pressure on the people involved.
last night - after watching shoko flirt her way into free drinks - youâd been tipsy enough to take her advice.Â
casual sex! it doesn't have to be with a stranger, just pick someone you know. someone youâre sure you won't fall in love with.
this morning youâd woken up to find gojo laying in bed next to you.
you lay shoulder to shoulder with the one person you should not have picked, staring up at the ceiling, waiting for the other person to speak.Â
âdid we reallyââÂ
âthree times,â satoru confirms happily, rolling onto his side to grin down at you. âi'm surprised we didn't do this sooner, really. our sexual tension has always been off the charts.â
when he leans in to kiss you, his lips meet your palm as your expression wrinkles. âdonât get familiar.â
âweâre naked together in bedâ we slept together in more than the literal sense. canât get more familiar than that.âÂ
âand this never happen again,â you promise, refusing to look at him.Â
âwhy? because youâre afraid youâll fall in love with me? itâs okay to admit it. i'm extremely lovable.âÂ
youâve seen the way girls fawn over him. how they swoon over his pretty eyes and confident smile. heâs satoru gojo. a legend amongst jujutsu society. youâre no one in comparison, not a user of an otherworldly cursed technique, not from a major clan.Â
people like him donât fall for people like you. youâre afraid of rejection, afraid of being hurt.Â
âweâre friends,â you tell him honestly. âi donât want to risk ruining our friendship over something like this.âÂ
he tilts his head as your look at him. âshoko told you to try casual sex, didn't she? why not with me?â
âshe told you?â you groan, dragging a hand down your face and making a mental note to never ask your roommate for advice for anything ever again.Â
âhey, look at me,â he urges, grasping your hand. you do as he says, meeting his earnest gaze. âi can be casual and chill, itâs not like i have a huge crush on you or anything.âÂ
itâs so hard to say no to him. you really wish you could. Â
âiâll think about it,â you tell him, rolling your eyes when he fist pumps. âbut you need to go home before shoko sees you.âÂ
but youâre dealing with satoru gojo, who almost never does what heâs told. âyouâre not getting rid of me that easily. come here.â
he winds an arm around you, pulli my you in so youâre snug against his chest. explicit memories of last night flash through your mind, sending heat through your veins.
 âi canât.â you tell him (though youâre mostly reminding yourself.) this is insaneâ satoru, what are youââ
youâre cut off when he shushes you, whispering letâs sleep in for a little while longer.Â
he starts to drift off again as you struggle to escape his grasp, but your efforts are futile. even on the throes of sleep, satoru is stronger than you.Â
so you give up, resigning yourself to a few more minutes ofâŚcuddling. shoko isnât a morning person anyways.
after a minute, you find it's not entirely awful. itâs a purely physical reaction. gojo is good looking, even with his hair mussed with sleep and his mouth hanging open. because you know that under the softness of his skin lays defined muscle, and spending the morning in his nicely toned arms isnât the worst thing in the world.Â
(itâs purely physical, is what your head tries to convince your heart, which is beating a little faster than usual.)
a very soft, content sigh slips past your lips.Â
then, shoko knocks on your door.Â
âhey! donât tell me youâre too hungover for grocery shopping.âÂ
âshit!â you whisper harshly, shoving him away from you. âshe cannot see you in here.âÂ
âafraid youâll have to share?â he teases, narrowly avoiding being hit with a pillow. âokay, okay! where do you want me?â
âcloset!â you instruct, scrambling my around the room to make sure none of his clothes are lying around. you thrust them into his hands, pushing him into your closet.Â
he catches the door before you can close it, smiling down at you. âarenât you glad weâre doing this?â
you shove him inside, slamming the door shut just ask shoko bursts into the room.
âhey,â you greet, trying your best to appear casual as you lean against the door. your heart beats in your throat, as she squints at you, then lets her gaze sweep across the room.
âdid you bring someone home last night?â
âno.â
she looks at you. really looks at you, you think.Â
âokay,â she finally says, though you canât tell if she believes you. âi justâ i thought i saw you leave with gojo. suguru said you two were flirting all night.â
âgojo and i?â you try to laugh, but it comes out a little strained. ânever in a million years.â
shoko only shrugs, and you let yourself relax when she turns to leaveâŚ
âŚonly for her to turn around once more, leaning the the doorframe. âwell if you really don't like him, just let him down easy, alright? suguru told me he has a huge crush on you.âÂ
waitâ
âgojo?â
you hear a sharp inhale through the door.Â
âyeah,â she nods. âyou really couldn't tell?â
gojoâŚhas a crush on you. it takes a few seconds to truly sink in. âi had no idea.âÂ
âof course you didn't. heâs definitely got a really weird way of showing it.â
she turns to leave for real this time, but you wait a couple extra seconds before opening your closet, finding a wide eyed, blushing satoru staring at you.Â
you can't help but laugh. at his expression, at shokoâs revelation, at this entire situation.
dating sucks, but maybe it wonât be that bad if itâs with him.
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strawberry wine
[part 2] pairing: modern au!viktor x artist!reader prompt: âif somebody were to kiss me, iâd want that person to be youâ tags: you're jayces childhood bff, no use of y/n, alcohol, heavy kissing, drunk kissing, basically just a bunch of buildup towards a smutty fwb part two???, viktor being a menace wc: 4k notes: AU where nobody is sick or dying yay! also i think i managed to keep this pretty gn!reader but any future parts will be afab/fem art is from pinterest, dividers from chachachannah & webc00re
You never meant for things to get this far. You told yourself it was just a little fun, harmless and fleetingânothing more. You had a career to focus on, friendships in the balance. But now, here you are, pacing the living room carpet thin, your cuticles raw from nervous chewing, and your thoughts spiraling into places you swore theyâd never go.
It feels juvenile, almost laughable, like some smitten teenager waiting by the phone and sneaking kisses in shadowed corners. You were supposed to be above this, werenât you? I mean, as a grown adult you should know how to keep it casual, uncomplicated.Â
But nothing about this is simple anymore. Not the friendship. Not the secrets. And certainly not the way your heart betrays you every time his name crosses your mind.
It definitely wasnât supposed to be like this.
Moving back to the city hadnât been on the bingo card for this year, but here you were. Your life had been tucked away in the quiet of rural landscapes, where your art had room to breatheâendless skies, rolling hills, and the kind of solitude that made inspiration flow without any distractions. But your career had expanded, and with that expansion came the relentless pressure of galleries, art buyers, and a future that demanded more from you than that peaceful escape ever could.Â
So, the city had called you back. Concrete towers, crowded streets, the city offered more. Shows. Opportunities. Jayce. The only thing about this cold, steel jungle that still felt like home. Jayceâyour childhood friend, your constant in a world that had never stopped changing. Thrown together since you were practically in diapers, he was the one piece of your old life that had somehow survived the years and distance between you two. And now, after what felt like an eternity, here he was, sprawled across your tiny couch, looking too comfortable for someone who was just supposed to be a guest. The apartment was a bit small, as city apartments tended to beâpacked between towering neighborsâbut Jayceâs presence was the only thing about it that felt remotely like home.
"You know," he said, half-lounging. âIâve got someone I want you to meet.â
You didnât look up from your canvas, your brush already dipping into the paints like second nature. âWho?â
âViktorâÂ
You paused, only long enough for your brush to hover midair before you flicked your gaze in his direction. âAh, yes. The famous business partner.â
Jayceâs grin didnât falter, but there was something softer behind it now. âYeah, something like that. But seriously, heâs a good guy. Brilliant, actually. You two would get along.â
You didnât reply at first. Instead, you let the brush finish its arc, eyes back on your work, moving with the rhythm of a familiar task. âmhmâ you murmured, distracted by the way the strokes of paint were bleeding together. âIf heâs anything like you, how bad can it be?â
But Jayce, of course, wasnât done. His voice took on that soft tone he reserved for moments when he really wanted to get his point across. âIâm serious, okay? I want you two to meet. You both mean a lot to me, and I think youâll really hit it off.â
You didnât look up, but you felt a weight behind his words, pushing against you with silent pressure. âYeah? Iâm sure itâll happen, then.â
Jayceâs eyes lit up, a flash of triumph in them, like heâd just won some small but important battle. âYouâll see. Iâm telling youâwhen you meet him, youâll click. I know it.â
You leaned back in your chair, releasing a slow exhale, the kind that said everything without saying anything at all. A nonchalant nod was all you offered, unwilling to give him the satisfaction of saying more. âFine. Fine. Iâll meet him. But donât make a whole thing out of it.â
Jayce chuckled, and there was an odd note of relief in the sound, like heâd just been granted some unspoken permission. âNo big deal, I swear. But youâll see. You two are more alike than you think.â
-
When you finally did meet Viktor, Jayce was practically vibrating, his energy as unsubtle as ever. It had been after one of your gallery openings, a night youâd half-dragged yourself through on fumes and politeness. Your heels had barely cleared the threshold of his apartment before the faintest twinge of suspicion began to creep inâsomething about the way he hovered, grinning like a man with a secret.
âYou deserve a good meal after tonight,â Jayce had said, ushering you in with the kind of charm that usually preceded one of his schemes. âThought youâd want to celebrate somewhere that doesnât reek of overpriced wine and small talk.â
You rolled your eyes but let yourself be corralled, the promise of food outweighing the odd note in his voice. His large apartment, at least, was familiar territory: warm, cluttered with bits of tech and sentimental junk from years past, the faint scent of whatever candles he refused to admit he hoarded lingering in the air.
And then you heard itâthe low murmur of another voice, sharp-edged and vaguely amused, drifting from the kitchen.
Jayce froze, his grin faltering for a split second before it reappeared, brighter than ever. âOh, right,â he said, far too casually. âViktorâs here.â
You blinked, narrowing your eyes at him. âYou conveniently forgot to mention that part.â
âCome on,â he pushed, throwing an arm around your shoulders and steering you toward the source of the voice. âItâs no big deal. Just dinner. Youâll like him, I promise.â
And there he was, perched by the kitchen counter with a faintly perplexed look on his face. He was slimmer than youâd expected, pale and sharp-featured, with hair that looked like it hadnât met a comb in days. His amber eyes flicked up to meet yours, narrowing slightly as if he were trying to solve a puzzle that had just been placed in front of him.
âAh,â he said, his accent lilting and crisp, âso this is the infamous artist.â
You shot a glare at Jayce, who was already heading for the stove with the kind of forced cheer that made it painfully clear heâd orchestrated the whole thing. âYou owe me for this,â you muttered under your breath, stepping further into the kitchen.
Viktorâs lips twitched, the barest hint of a smirk appearing. âAnd here I thought I was being ambushed. Seems weâre both victims of his enthusiasm.â
Jayce turned from the stove, wooden spoon in hand, his expression utterly unrepentant. âYouâll thank me later.â
The dinner was simple but undeniably goodâJayceâs doing, of course. The man couldnât let anyone step into his apartment without insisting they be properly fed, and tonight was no exception. Roast chicken, buttery vegetables with rice, warm bread that filled the space with its yeasty aromaâit was the kind of meal that made you feel at home even when you werenât.
Conversation flowed easily around the table, mostly carried by Jayce, but Viktor wasnât exactly quiet, either. He had a way of chiming in at just the right moment, his dry humor landing squarely between Jayceâs more exuberant anecdotes and your own occasional contributions.
âYou mean to tell me,â Viktor said at one point, leaning back slightly in his chair, âthat Jayce still hasnât learned to cook rice without burning it? After all these years?â
Jayce, halfway through explaining some disastrous culinary attempt from his youth, turned to glare at him. âExcuse me, this rice was cooked perfectly.â
âIt was fine,â you agreed, though the memory of a slightly crunchy bite or two made your lips twitch in amusement.
Viktorâs amber eyes sparkled as he gestured broadly. âOh, fine! A glowing review, truly. Donât let it go to your head.â
Jayce groaned, but there was no real bite to it. âYouâre insufferable.â
âAnd yet,â Viktor said, raising his glass in a mock toast, âhere I am. Invited to dinner. Again.â
Jayce just rolled his eyes and went back to his story, leaving you to glance at Viktor with a small smile. He caught it, of course, and gave a little shrug as if to say, what can you do? For all his sharp humor, he was easy to talk to, his wit balanced by an underlying warmth that kept him from coming off as too cutting.
Which was why you were only mildly surprised when the spoon incident happened.
Dinner was winding down, Jayce had disappeared into the kitchen to fuss over coffee, leaving you and Viktor to handle the cleanup.
He moved with a surprising ease, balancing a stack of plates in one hand, his cane steady in the other. It was a casual sort of competence, as though heâd long since adapted to whatever limitations life had handed him. You hadnât thought much of it, impressed by how naturally he maneuvered, until the soft clatter of a spoon hitting the floor broke the quiet rhythm of tidying.
âAh,â Viktor said, glancing down at the rogue utensil with a faint frown as he set down the plate stack. âOf course.â
You paused mid-step, glancing between him and the spoon. âNeed a hand?â
He tilted his head, his expression a little too innocent. âIf itâs not too much trouble. You know, the leg and all...â
âOh, forââ Jayceâs voice floated from the kitchen, half-annoyed but not quite committed to intervening.
You sighed, setting down the napkins youâd been folding. âYeah, sure. Iâve got it.â
But just as you crouched down, Viktor shifted. A casual tap of his cane sent the spoon skittering across the floor, its metallic clink faintly echoing as it landed farther away.
You froze, staring at the spoon in disbelief, then turned your gaze to him slowly. âYouâre kidding.â
Viktorâs lips twitched, the faintest glimmer of amusement flickering across his face. âWhat?â
âYou justââ
âWhat?â he repeated, wider-eyed this time, his free hand gesturing vaguely toward his cane. âIâm handicapped.â
Jayce reappeared in the doorway, a coffee pot in hand and a look of pure exasperation on his face. âViktor.â
âWhat?â Viktor said again, his voice laced with mock indignation. âI am!â
Jayce muttered something unintelligible as he poured coffee, his focus shifting between you and Viktor like he couldnât decide which one of you deserved his scolding more. Meanwhile, you straightened, crossing your arms as a grin tugged at the corners of your mouth despite your best efforts.
âYouâre lucky Iâm feeling generous,â you said, stepping across the room to retrieve the spoonâagain.
âVery generous,â Viktor agreed, his tone breezy. âHonestly, itâs quite inspiring. Jayce, you should take notes.â
Jayce groaned, setting the coffee pot down with a little too much force. âYouâre both ridiculous.â
But you were already laughing, the sound bubbling up before you could stop it. As you returned the spoon to the table with a pointed look, Viktor gave you a small, almost triumphant smile. And maybe, you could see what Jayce meant when heâd said youâd get along.
-
The first time you realized you might feel more than just friendship for Viktor was when you noticed the way your sketches had started to change.
It had been weeksâmaybe even a couple of monthsâsince that dinner with Jayce, when you had awkwardly danced around each other, getting to know one another. The initial weirdness had faded into easy companionship, and you found yourself spending more time with Viktor than you expected. You hadnât quite noticed it happening, but somewhere along the line, youâd become an unintentional trio. Jayce had been bursting with barely-contained glee at how easily the two of you seemed to get along, and it made your chest warm, knowing how much that mattered to him. It felt... right, this newfound ease between the three of you, a quiet sort of harmony that made you smile more than you expected.
But as the days passed, something shifted without you realizing it. You were at home one evening, flipping through your sketchbook, the soft pastel dust smudging the edges of the pages as your fingers moved. The forms youâd drawn were abstract models, capturing shapes and shadows in a fluid, organic way. It wasnât anything newânothing that stood out. But then, you stopped.
There, in the shadows of the page, you saw it.
The subtle arch of a jawline. The curve of lips that you knew too well. Even the moles, small and almost unremarkable, but there they wereâon the page, right beneath your fingertips. You blinked and flipped to another sketch, only to see it again. A line here, a shadow there. It wasnât him exactly, but it was.
To the untrained eye, maybe it wouldnât have been obvious. Hell, maybe even to you on any other day, it mightâve gone unnoticed. But now, in the quiet of your studio, the shapes were almost unmistakable. The soft angle of his nose, the way his eyes looked when he was thinking too hard, the way his smile would pull up on one side when he was being particularly smug.
You frowned, setting the sketchbook down, your hands hovering above it as if it had betrayed you. Was this some kind of coincidence? Or was it something more, something you had been avoiding realizing? Youâd never consciously set out to draw him, but there he was, tucked into the lines and curves of your art like an uninvited guest you hadnât known you were entertaining.
It was ridiculous, you told yourself. Of course it was just... coincidence. But even as you tried to convince yourself, there was a small, unspoken truth sitting in your chest, heavy and undeniable, and the first time you realized Viktor might see you as more than just a friend was subtle, almost imperceptible, but it hit you all the same.
He mentioned a piece youâd shown him, his tone thoughtful. âYouâve been doing something different lately. I canât quite put my finger on it, but thereâs a change. Itâs...â His gaze flickered to yours, then dropped back to the floor, but the brief flash in his eyes sent an unexpected flutter through your chest. â...more. More than what you usually show.â
The words themselves were harmless, even complimentary, but it was the way they hung between you that made something inside you stirâsomething you couldnât name, not yet. You didnât think much of it at first, but the way his eyes lingered just a second longer than necessary made your breath catch. The way the corners of his mouth lifted into a half-smile, not teasing, but... fond.
It was a simple thing. A fleeting moment. And yet, it lingered in your mind as you retreated to your apartment, your thoughts whirling with the possibility that Viktorâyour friend, the one you had so casually laughed and bantered with for monthsâmight be seeing you differently, too.
The shift was subtle, but it was there. And it unsettled you more than you cared to admit.
-
Everything came to a boiling point one night at your apartment. Youâd ventured into town earlier that day, mostly for a change of scenery, and happened upon a small farmers market. You couldnât resist grabbing a few bottles of strawberry wine, its sweetness and fruity undertones practically calling your name. Jayce had scoffed at it when you got back, claiming it was too sugary to have any real punch. âThereâs no way Iâll even get drunk off this,â heâd muttered with a dismissive wave.
An hour later, he was sprawled out on your pullout, snoring softly with a stupid grin plastered across his face. You and Viktor stood nearby, both tryingâand failingâto suppress your amusement at how quickly Jayce had succumbed to the wineâs effects. For all his size, Jayce was a surprising lightweight.
âI swear, every time,â you said, laughing quietly.
Viktor, leaning against the doorway, gave a soft chuckle. âSome people just donât know when to stop.â
You rolled your eyes, glancing over at the slumbering man. âGuess we let him sleep it off.â
âLet him have his beauty rest,â Viktor teased, his voice light as he nodded toward the bottles. âWe can always finish it ourselves.â
So you did, winding up on the roof with the cold night air around you. The worn-out couch up there had seen better days, but it was still enough to settle into and talk, a simple quiet comfort settling over you both. The soft glow of string lights and the silvered moonlight made the world feel like it was wrapped in a quiet hush despite the never ending sounds of the city. You both settled into the couch, the cushions sinking in the middle, which pushed you just a little closer to Viktor than you'd anticipated.
For a moment, neither of you said anything. The silence was easy, like you had spent years in it. You noticed how close you were sitting nowâyour thighs pressed together, and when you passed the bottle of wine, your fingers brushed his. A small spark of awareness ran through you each time, and you tried to ignore it, feeling your face warm despite the cool air.
The wine was sweet, fruity, and a little stronger than you expected, especially when you found yourself reaching for another sip and another, the soft buzz in your head gradually growing stronger.
By the time the bottle was halfway gone, you were both leaning more heavily into the couch, and you couldnât help but giggle at how little wine was apparently needed to bring Jayce to the brink of passing out. You felt... lighter. Almost giddy, as if the laughter that came so easily was spilling out along with the alcohol. And Viktor, sitting just beside you, didnât seem to be immune to it either. His face was flushed in the soft light, his lips curling into an easy smile.
âYou know,â you said, leaning back and feeling the warmth of the couch soak into your bones, âI donât do this enough. Iâm so... wrapped up in work and life and... I just forget to relax.â
Viktor tilted his head, eyes slightly narrowed as he watched you. âRelaxing can be overrated,â he said with a smirk, the words a little slower than theyâd been earlier. He took another drink from the bottle, his thumb brushing against the glass in an unconscious rhythm. When he passed it to you, your fingers brushed once again, and you lingered just a bit longer than necessary.
âWell, maybe for you,â you chuckled. âBut, for me, itâs like... it's like a luxury, I guess. You know? I donât remember the last time I just sat with someone and... and didnât feel like I had to be somewhere or do something.â
âYou ehâ... donât have to worry about that here,â Viktor said quietly, his voice light, with that usual teasing edge. But something was different in his tone, something that made the words feel heavier than they should have been. You couldnât quite put your finger on it, but the air seemed to shift, the quiet between you stretching into something almost⌠charged.
You took another sip, your hand a little unsteady now. The whole situation felt absurdâawkward, even, yet strangely intimate in a way you hadnât expected. Your gaze drifted toward his lips without thinking. It was brief, but enough to send a flutter through your stomach, and suddenly, your mind couldnât focus on anything but that soft, confident curve of his mouth. Maybe it was the wine, maybe it was something else entirely, but you couldnât seem to think straight anymore.
Viktor shifted closer again, and the couch beneath you groaned as it sank with the weight of it. The space between you closed, and you could feel the warmth of his body pressing against yours shoulder to shoulder, like the alcohol spreading through you, making your pulse quicken.
For a long moment, he didnât say anything. His presence was a solid thing beside you. His eyes were locked on yours, studying, but still so calm. You could feel the punch of his gaze on you, like it was seeping through your skin, sending heat rushing to your cheeks. It wasnât just the wine nowâyou could feel it all over, heat blooming beneath your skin, making you fidget slightly.
âSometimes⌠you get caught up in what youâre doing, and you forget about everything else,â you mumbled, trying to ignore the way your nerves were tightening your chest. âIâve been focused on my career andâgod, Iâve probably been a little⌠I donât know, closed off.â You laughed lightly, but it was nervous, unsure of where this was even coming from. But suddenly all your senses were barraged by him, his smell, his eyes.
âI justâI havenât thought about it. Relationships, I mean. Not in a long time. I donât know if Iâm even ready for anything like that. Not now, not with everything Iâm doing.â You trailed off, self-conscious, suddenly feeling like you were saying too much, rambling without stopping. The words seemed to just slip out of you, tumbling over each other.
You took another shaky breath, your heart thudding in your chest as you tried to make yourself stop, but you couldnât. It was like you were helpless.
âAnd, I mean, if anybody were to kiss meâŚâ You faltered, realizing too late just how much you were giving away. Your pulse quickened, your thoughts jumbled as your mouth just kept moving. âI would want that person to be you.â
The air between you thickened, the silence stretching long and heavy. Your heart pounded in your chest, a nervous rhythm that drowned out everything else. You waited for him to say something, to break the tension that was suffocating you. But there was nothing. Just the weight of his gaze on you, steady and searching.
When you finally dared to glance at him Viktor's expression was unreadable. One thick eyebrow was cocked slightly, and his mouth hung open just enough to suggest he was about to say something, but didn't. He was so close but somehow the distance between you felt infinite.
You opened your mouth to say something, to fill the silence, but before you could speak, his hand moved, his fingers brushing against your jaw in the gentlest touch. The sudden warmth of his palm made your breath catch, and before you could even fully process it, he was pulling you in. His lips met yours, soft at first, as though testing the waters, as if the moment itself was delicate. But that softness didn't last, between the buzz of alcohol, the closeness, the heat between youâit all blurred together. The kiss deepened, quickly turning urgent, hungry. His hand moved to the back of your neck, pulling you closer as the bottle slipped from your grasp, its clang against the concrete floor echoing in the quiet of the rooftop
You didn't care. You were too lost in the feeling of him against you, his lips moving against yours with a desperate kind of need. The kiss grew messierâ clumsy, teeth scraping, tongues tangling. You could taste the faint sweetness of wine on him, the mix of flavors making everything feel dizzying overwhelming.
You found yourself gripping his shirt, pulling him closer, as if trying to merge your bodies together, desperate for the contact, for whatever it was that had been building between you two for so long.Â
-
The next day was a harsh slap of hangover reality. Your head pounded, your mouth was dry, and every time you glanced at Viktor across the room, your stomach flipped in a way that had nothing to do with the booze.
Jayce, of course, was none the wiser. He chatted away over breakfast like nothing had changed, blissfully unaware of the shift that had unraveled everything you thought youâd had under control. And you? You were wholly committed to keeping it that way. It was a one-time thing, you told yourself. Just a fleeting, drunken thingâsomething you could both quietly bury and move on from.
At least, that was the plan.
Until it happened again. And then again.
Now it feels like a thread being pulled tighter and tighter, until youâre not sure if youâre going to unravel completely or snap under the weight.
This wasnât supposed to happen. But here you are. And you donât know how to stop.
Šlilsworks 2024
#viktor x reader#viktor arcane#viktor#arcane#viktor x you#arcane x you#arcane fanfic#viktor fanfic#fwb#friends with benifits#viktor x y/n#arcane viktor#arcane fic#viktor fic#arcane x reader#lils work#mine#strawberry wine
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JOEL MILLER FIC RECS
âž 18+ minors DNI, read at your own risk! â˝
an appreciation to all my favourite writers out there you deserve all the love <3
Series
â Something To Fight For by @auteurdelabre | After a disastrous blind date you decide to stay away from the miserable Joel Miller forever...
â I Know Who You Are by @punkshort | A fall on patrol causes you to lose your long-term memory, forgetting the identities of your friends and loved ones. You have to learn all over again how to survive in a post-apocalyptic world, and you learn things about yourself along the way.
â The One You Need by @loliwrites | When you move into town hellbent on keeping everyone at armâs length, your neighbour Joel finds his way into your life.
â By The Grit Of Sandpaper by @penvisions | An offhand comment from you inspires Joel to branch out and create helpful kitchen wares. And it seems everyone has been gifted one from him, except for you. It makes you rethink the casual friendship you had developed...
â I Wanna Be Your Lover by @shellshocklove | Miserable after losing your job, your friend drags you out to a club to dance away your sadness. on the dancefloor, you meet a handsome stranger, who then whisks you away into his fantasy world as his assistant for his porn career. what happens when the lines get blurred?
â If The Door Wasn't Shut by @heartpascal | months of travelling with Joel and Ellie come crashing down on you, the fear is suffocating.
â Stay In Bed by @psychedelic-ink | After your grandfatherâs passing, you find yourself moving into his home in Texas. You meet the Millers; Tommy, his older brother Joel and his daughter Sarah. With time, you and Tommy become close friends and Sarah visits you often. But JoelâŚJoel keeps his distance.
â That's A Real Fucking Legacy by @wyn-n-tonic | When Tommy disappears in search of a better life with a promise to come back for you, his years of absence and the grief it leaves behind drives you and his brother closer together until the man you're sharing a bed and starting a family with is Joel Miller and not the one you always thought it would be.
One-Shots
â No Time To Die by @davosmymaster | The main difficulty of being Joelâs closest friend is not falling in love with him, but you still do. Those feelings are buried until you join him on a mission to trade supplies with Bill and Frank. With your life now hanging by a thread, Joel is determined to get you to safety, but the clock is ticking faster than he can run.
â White Lies by @poeticpascal | Joel would do anything for you. He does anything for you. And he makes sure you don't know a thing.
â Saying Thanks by @vivwritescrappythings | Joel is your grumpy patrol partner who doesnât even talk to you in the streets of Jackson. But one night a man grabs your arm at the Tipsy Bison, and Joelâs decided he doesnât like it.
â Soft & Sweet by @cavillscurls | You share your first kiss with the last man you ever expected: your older, grouchy, overly protective patrol partner, Joel Miller.
â Who We Are by @gracieheartspedro | Being stuck on the road with an older guy you've been crushing on for ages won't be so bad, right? wrong. because he's been pining after you, too. and one of you will have to give in eventually.
â Warm Me Up by @tightjeansjavi | While on patrol, you and Joel find yourselves caught in a treacherous snowstorm.
â Love In the Time Of Cordyceps by @sameheart-sameblood | When the world ends, you promise you'll never love again. Joel Miller makes that rule hard to stick to.
â Puppy Love by @absurdthirst | You always follow Joel Miller around, you've got his back. You're in love with him. Putting up with Tess's nickname of puppy dog, you don't realize that Joel feels for you until the end.
â Light The Flame by @yeollie-plz | Your mom moves the two of you back to Texas and attempts to reignite an old flame. What will happen when she learns his candle now burns for you?
â Best I Ever Had by @endlessthxxghts | Someone tries to hit on you on your night out with Joel, insulting your man in the process, and oh you don't like that. You blow off some steam in more ways than one.
â Make A Move On Me by @freelancearsonist | You've been teasing Joel every day since he started remodelling construction on your house. He finally works up the courage to do something about it - but not in the way you expect him to.
â Fire Walk by @motherofagony | A chance encounter at a motel has you crossing paths with a stranger in a blue t-shirt.
â Cry Baby by @psychedelic-ink | bodies have been dropping left and right in the most brutal ways in Jackson. As the relentless wave of deaths continues, your mind becomes increasingly restless. however, you find a sense of comfort and solace in the presence of Joel. who might be hiding secrets of his own.
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