#castiel x hunter
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the pony posting continues
part 1
#spn#supernatural#spn fanart#supernatural fanart#dean winchester#castiel#castiel fanart#dean winchester fanart#dean x castiel#deancas#destiel#sam winchester#sam winchester fanart#my little pony#my little hunter#fanart
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Dean: “Are we fighting or flirting right now?”
Castiel: “My hand is literally around your throat.”
Dean: “Ok, that still doesn’t answer my question.”
#incorrect quotes#supernatural incorrect quotes#incorrect supernatural quotes#dean winchester#castiel#destiel#deancas#casdean#cas x dean#cas and dean#dean x castiel#hunter#angel of the lord
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Behold- his bastardness, GABRIEL
Gabe is one of my favourite characters and i had SO MUCH FUN DRAWING HIM!! i actually drew him before rowena since he was ahead at the start of the poll before they tied and rowena won
He has 2 pairs of wings both of which he can make invisable. His magic is so potent that it takes on a sharp appearance. He has feathers on his hooves to make his movement lighter cause magic.
His cutie mark isnt actually real either! None of the angels have cutie marks but because gabe is so powerful he can summon one to "blend in"
ALSO IVE BEEN LISTENING TO SIR MIXALOTS NASTY DOG ON REPEAT AND ITS LITERALLY GABE @ SAM!!! HE IS A NASTY DAWGGG + a doodle of gabe, his size difference with cas n a destiel doodle
#sam/gabriel#fanart#art#digital art#gay#my little hunter#my little pony#spn#supernatural#spn fanart#dean winchester#dean x castiel#destiel#dean/cas#supernatural gabriel#arch angel gabriel#sabriel#sam winchester#gabriel/sam#ponynatural#pony au#pony!gabriel#pony!sam winchester#pony!dean winchester#pony!castiel#castiel x dean#sam x gabriel#gabriel x sam#team free will
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── ୨୧ ! 𝗡𝗘𝗪 𝗔𝗗𝗗𝗜𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡
𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒏 𝒘𝒊𝒏𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓 x reader
SUMMARY: Where Y/N discovers she is pregnant and worries about how her boyfriend, Dean, will react.
WARNING: None.
REQUESTED?: Yes, on Wattpad.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.
��✦༺ ༻✧༺ ༻✦༺
Y/N closed her eyes tightly, leaning forward over the closed toilet seat as she clenched her hands into fists around the pregnancy test, pulling a puff of air through her nose as if trying to keep herself in reality.
The woman had noticed changes in her body through last weeks, especially in her breasts that seemed larger and more sensitive than normal, which made her wonder if she was close to her period, as this is one of the symptoms of it, but her calendar showed that her period would only come 2 weeks later.
But then the week of her menstrual cycle arrived but there was no drop of blood, the pack of pads Dean had bought the week before was untouched on the counter, and then she began to worry, several possibilities swirling around her mind, but none of them were that one.
Until the day before, during a conversation between herself and Castiel, where the angel blatantly blurted out something he shouldn't have.
"...But that's all I've been able to find so far, Cass. With all the evidence and research, I think we're dealing with a different species of werewolf, but I'd rather read up a little more just to be sure." Y/N informed Castiel, pointing to the open book in front of her on the central wooden table in the bunker room.
"Uhm... Just don't overwork yourself, it won't be good for the baby." The angel responded, getting up from the chair he was sitting next to Y/N and straightening his coat.
The sound of choking echoed through the room, Y/N having choked on air at the older man's response.
"Who?" She asked, looking at him intently.
"The baby." Castiel replied as if it were obvious, his blue eyes widening seconds later. "You didn't know?" He asked slowly, swallowing hard.
"Castiel, what are you not telling me?" Y/N asked, standing up from her chair.
"Wow look at that, Dean is calling me, I have to go." And then the angel disappeared, leaving Y/N alone.
"Hey baby, how are... Y/N? What happened?" Dean entered the room seconds later, interrupting his speech halfway when he saw his girlfriend's frightened and pale face.
"Nothing." She responded quickly, leaving the room with everything behind.
Y/N spent that whole day thinking about what Castiel said, putting the pieces of the puzzle together, and the worst of all, it made sense; her body changed, her mood changed, her desires were strange and her period was late.
The woman managed, later that afternoon, to escape the bunker for a few hours and go to the nearest pharmacy, where she bought four pregnancy tests in the absence of one.
The next day, today, she took advantage of Dean and Sam's departure to investigate more about the current case to take the tests, spending long minutes staring at the closed boxes and wondering if she was ready to know the results.
Finally, working up the courage, she took two of the four tests, leaving the other two closed just in case.
Tension took over her body and she wondered how she would tell Dean if the result was positive, what direction her life would take, her life as a hunter...
Finally, 5 minutes later, she opened her tightly closed eyes, lowering her head and looking at the small screen where the result would be shown.
Pregnant.
༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺
That night, Y/N found herself sitting on the bed in her shared room with Dean, the two tests inside a small box that she had found among the Men of Letters' mess which she held in her hands, her eyes attentive to the closed door, seeming to hold her breath.
The sound of the bunker's entrance door opening and closing seemed to wake her up, Y/N blinked her eyes quickly, shaking her head and sighing, briefly looking at the box, but her attention was taken by the door again as she heard it open.
"Hey honey." Dean smiled big when he saw his girlfriend waiting for him, placing his suitcase on the floor and closing the door, starting to take off the tie that was part of his "costume" during the interviews he did regarding the current case.
"Hi Dean." Y/N replied quietly, a tight smile settling on her features, tilting her face slightly upwards as she saw Dean move closer to kiss her.
"Um, is this for me?" The hunter asked when he saw the box in his girlfriend's hands, bringing his hand closer to take it, stopping in his action when he saw Y/N move the box out of his reach.
"Um." She cleared her throat, taking a deep breath. "Sorry... Dean, yes it's for you, and I want you to understand the seriousness of this... gift. It's very important to us." Y/N informed, finally extending the box towards the taller man, who was looking at her in confusion.
"Wow, are you asking me to marry you?" Dean joked, taking the box gently and sitting next to his girlfriend, pulling on the makeshift navy blue bow and carefully removing the lid.
His hand that was holding the lid stopped in the air, his body tensing in seconds as his mind seemed to stumble on thoughts, green eyes almost popping out.
"Dean?" Y/N called nervously, her hands were shaking and her heart was beating like crazy, fear was settling in her body and questions were running through her head, the last thing she wanted was to lose Dean, but she wouldn't know how to act if he didn't want the baby.
"A-are you... There's a..." Dean stumbled over his words, never before feeling as nervous as he did in that moment. "Are we going to be parents?" He finally asked, putting the lid and box aside and taking the two tests in his hand, alternating his gaze between them and Y/N.
"Yes Dean, I'm pregnant." Y/N responded, smiling in relief when Dean laughed loudly with joy, pulling her into a long kiss full of smiles.
Y/N laughed as Dean laid her on the bed, lowering himself a little over his girlfriend's body and lifting his own shirt that covered half of her smaller body, looking enchanted at his girl's belly, still not completely believing it.
Dean never exactly imagined himself having his own family, having grown up in a completely unstructured one, his biggest fear was that he wouldn't be a good partner, much less a good father. But after he met Y/N and his heart was completely encircled by the woman, all he wanted most was to be with her forever, only seeing her with him when he thought about the future.
He knew that he wanted a family with her.
༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺
Dean took a deep breath, turning his head to the side, his eyes carefully analyzing Y/N's face, her eyes practically closed and directed towards the ceiling, feeling extremely relaxed with her head lying on the man's shoulder, listening to his heartbeat, and that's how she realized something was wrong, the sound of the heartbeat becoming louder and faster than seconds before.
"Baby? Is everything okay? Your heart..." Y/N raised her head, now more attentive and awake than before, her eyes focusing on his, feeling her own heart heavy with the confusion of emotions installed in the green pool's.
"What if I can't protect him? What if... What if all our enemies-" He swallowed hard, shaking his head. "You will be vulnerable in these 9 months, what if you can't protect yourself like before? What if I'm not with you at all times and something catches you? The demons, Lucifer, even God... We have so many enemies spread across the world, I can't even imagine the danger he would be in just by breathing." Dean spoke as his eyes darted around the room, trying to find something that would make him think rationally.
"Hey, breathe baby." Y/N sat up straight on the bed, bringing her hands to Dean's cheeks and pulling his face so he was looking back at her. "Are you with me?" She asked, following his eyes until he looked back, nodding. "Dean, we won't always be there for him, we will raise our baby for the world and not for ourselves, the last thing I want is to keep him with us, that would be selfish of us. We will protect him throughout his life, and I guarantee you that we will do a great job at that, you know why? Because you are an incredible man and you care, the way you take care of Sam and practically raised him alone says that in itself. Yes, we have many enemies, more than I will ever be able to count, but we will learn together how to deal with this having this new addition in our lives, and I'm sure you'll get it right."
Dean sucked in air through his nose, his eyes filling with tears as a smile spread across his face, approaching and planting a lingering kiss on the lips that he already knew by heart and would never get tired of tasting.
"What would I do without you?" He whispered against Y/N's mouth, feeling her lips move into a smile.
"I don't know, but you would definitely be lost."
And at that moment Dean knew that the two of them would make it work, and in the near future they would have their complete family.
#x reader#dean winchester#dean winchester x reader#supernatural#sam winchester#castiel#hunters#angel#dean x reader#dean#winchester#imagine#oneshot#fanfic#fanfiction#fic#dean winchester fanfic#dean winchester fanfiction#dean winchester fic#pregnancy#love#angst
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Yea I may or may not be out for dinner rn but I have no one to talk to so I’m about to just start writing or reading fanfics
If anyone has an idea for who I should write for comment away
#logan howler x reader#wolverine x reader#tangerine x reader#dave lizewski x reader#hunter sylvester x reader#dean winchester x reader#castiel x reader#tom ryder x reader#five x reader#wonka x reader#kenji sato x reader#james maguire x reader#brett hand x reader#steven grant x reader#ford x reader#alex delarge x reader#asa emory x reader#basil stitt x reader#carl gallagher x reader#eddie brock x reader#eddie munson x reader#five hargreeves x reader#kai anderson x reader#krel tarron x reader#llewyn davis x reader
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Destiel is canon (or is it?).
#nov 5th#its nov 5th guys#i repeat#its a historical day for an angel and a hunter#happy destielversary#castiel#dean winchester#supernatural#dean x castiel#destiel#spn#destiel is canon#dean and cas#deancas
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Imagine if Cas was a hunter and he kept bumping into Dean on hunts. Like they become hunting partners after a bit. Sam is still in Stanford. No apocalypse, no handprint. Cas would still be able to listen to angel radio, because he’s a fallen angel and doesn’t know it. He and Dean forge their own destiny.
#supernatural#supernatural fandom#spn#castiel#castiel novak#spnfamily#spn fanart#dean x castiel#destiel#dean winchester#hunter!cas#deancas fanart#castiel fanart#supernatural fanart#queer artist#disabled artist#trans artist#taking commisions#commissions open
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is the supernatural fandom alive on here? cause ive got some yummy things in mind and i want you all to see it!
my october event is coming soon, will probably publish the master list sometime next week and I will update my current master list as well.
i know i said im stepping back from jjk, that is true, but ill probably still write about it during the october event. stay tuned! and for those that requested something in my inbox, ill get to you soon my hunnibuns!
until next time, ciao.
#nanivinsmoke#jujustu kaisen#supernatural hunters#supernatural#dean winchester#sam winchester#castiel#john winchester#supernatural x reader#supernatural smut#dean winchester smut#castiel smut#jjk smut
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Random supernatural imagine:
Imagine if castiel was assigned to watch over the Winchester bloodline since day one.
Now hear me out. We know that Castiel was assigned to watch over Dean and Sam (mostly Dean 😏), but what if he was assigned before that. When the first Winchester was born, Castiel was immediately assigned to watch over the bloodline and make sure that it continued.
After centuries of watching Winchester, men and women become hunters and men of letters. He sees their ancestors in Dean and Sam all the time. And Dean reminds him of one of his ancestors that he fell in love with a long time ago.
Just a thought that I wanted to put out into the universe.
#supernatural hunters#supernatural fandom#supernatural family#supernatural#spn#spn family#spn fandom#the winchesters#sam winchester#dean winchester#dean x castiel#destiel#sam and dean#deancas#castiel#castiel angel of the lord#supernatural imagine#spn imagine#supernatural angels#spn angels#spn headcanon#spn hcs#supernatural headcanon#sam x eileen#random idea#spn hc#supernatural dean#supernatural sam winchester#supernatural tv show#supernatural destiel
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Dean, talking about Crowley: “At least he treats me like I’m somebody!
Castiel: “Yeah, but would he love you if you were nobody?”
Dean: “Nobody loved me when I was nobody!”
Castiel: “I did! Before the mark and before the corruption… Before you changed.”
#incorrect quotes#supernatural incorrect quotes#incorrect supernatural quotes#supernatural#spn#spnfamily#spnfandom#dean winchester#hunter#castiel#angel of the lord#destiel#cas x dean#cas and dean#dean x castiel#casdean#deancas#jensen ackles#misha collins
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Guys... ive been touched by an angel of the lord!!!
Cue inconsistant size difference,,
PLUS a stupid little comic my wife inspired me to make. She said cas totally walks around on his hind legs like a freak (shes never seen spn) and I SAID YES!
#supernatural#destiel#fanart#art#digital art#gay#dean winchester#my little hunter#my little pony#spn#deancas#castiel angel of the lord#dean and cas#castiel#castiel supernatural#dean x castiel#castiel x dean#dean/cas#cas/dean#castiel/dean winchester#pony au#ponynatural#husbands#supernatural au#supernatural art#supernatural fanart#spn crossover#spn fanart#spn fandom#team free will
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what's wrong with me why do I look at the most problematic fictional men and go "that's so me coded."
#its real i fear#I HAVE ISSUES OKAY#yes this is about#arthur pendragon#eddie diaz#liam dunbar#dean winchester#i think i see the pattern#queer masculine men who are babygirls#with mental illnesses (。・//ε//・。)#diego hargreeves#bbc merlin#merthur#the umbrella academy#spn#supernatural#castiel#teen wolf#9 1 1#cas x dean#eddie x buck#steve harrington#stranger things#steve x eddie#liam x theo#thiam#hunter toh#the owl house#cash piggott#ca$h heartbreak high
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The tortured hunters department (Dean’s version)
John Winchester, the smallest man who ever lived -
‘I would’ve died for your sins. Instead, I’d just died inside’
‘And you deserve prison but you won’t get time’
‘And in plain sight you hid, but you are what you did. And I’ll forget you, but I’ll never forgive. The smallest man who ever lived’
You can’t convince me taylor Swift Isn’t a Destiel shipper. If John winchester has no haters then I’m dead. Obviously I’m reading another fic where our poor Dean is struggling to battle his demons and childhood trauma
#supernatural#destiel#spn#dean winchester#fanfic#castiel x dean#john winchester hate club#if john winchester how no haters I’m dead#dean winchester the man that you are#taylor swift is a Destiel shipper#destiel fanfic#castiel#cas x dean#cas loves dean#destiel crack#protect Dean Winchester at all cost#this is turning into a rant oops#why am i like this#the tortured poets department#taylor swift#the tortured hunters department (Dean’s version)
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#supernatural#spnfandom#spn fanfic#spn rewatch#spn#spn fanart#spn rp#spnedit#spnfamily#spn aesthetic#spn rpg#dean x castiel#sam and dean#dean winchester#deancas#castiel#sam winchester#hunter#saving people hunting things#family business#demon#angel#vampire#werewolf#leviathan#watcher#bobby singer
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Save Yourself - Ch. 19
Dean Winchester x Female Reader
Oh For One So Pure
Series Summary: “I promise.” Those two words would trap you in a life you never wanted. You are an artist, a hunter, a Winchester. And yet the pain in Dean’s eyes as demanded you live the life he wants you live, you couldn’t say no. You met the Winchesters by chance, found out they were real people. And you figured it was a once in a life time thing, but then Dean called you, and so did a new job. Both leading to the life you wanted, a family that didn’t begin or end in blood and a once in a life time love. And he said leave it and him behind, forget. But you can’t. Chapter Summary Jack is gone. Well, you know exactly where he is; with Mary in what you’ve all agreed is the Apocalypse world. Do any of you know how to get there? No. But what are Winchesters really good at? Distracting themselves with hunting. When Donna calls in a favor for hunting down a possible not-so-supernatural creep, the three of you practically leap through the phone. But this case, and the multiverse problem none of you know how to untangle, bring up some dormant feelings about what it means to be a hunter… and even more about what it means to be a Winchester.
Warnings: Cannon typical violence, some fluff, some sad feels
You’ve been a Winchester long enough to have seen some crazy shit. And you’ve been a Supernatural fan long enough to know all the crazy shit. And when Donna called in a favor to find her niece, you kinda hoped it would be the most black and white monster case you could find. And as expected it was not. Finding a black market ebay for body parts wasn’t something you thought could exist. But if there’s a market, someone will always be there to fill it.
“I can’t believe you’ve been through this.” You grimace as Doug’s temporary fangs disappear.
“At least everyone here has souls.” Dean looks over at Sam, who purses his lips together as if he wishes he could forget that whole incident. Your phone buzzes in your pocket and you quickly silence it.
“That’s the fourth time it’s rung.” Dean comments, raising a brow at you.
“Becky. I missed the last two meetings.” You confess. You were normally pretty good about warning her when you’d be busy with a hunt; but everything with Jack being so unpredictable…
“Call her back, we should be back at the bunker tomorrow.” Dean gives your hand a squeeze. You nod and walk out into the brisk night air.
“Hey, sorry about the last couple of weeks-”
“THANK GOD YOU’RE ALIVE!” She shouts into the phone. “I thought the worst when your phone kept going to voicemail.” She lets out a long sigh, taking a few deep breaths.
“I could see that.” You chuckle.
“Don’t give me a heart attack like that!”
“I’ll do better in the future.” You hold up your hand in surrender. “But what’s up?”
“I have a few design projects I thought you could brainstorm on… And Sera’s been asking about the possibility of continuing the Supernatural books?” Her voice goes an octave higher at the mention of the books.
“Send me the ideas for the stuff to design-”
“Doug, wait!” You hear Donna yell.
“I’ll get back to you about the books-” You reach for the door to go back inside when it swings open and Doug runs into you.
“Doug?” You frown as he gathers himself. “Becky, I gotta go.” You abruptly hang up, lightly grabbing Doug’s shoulder. “Hey, what’s the rush?”
He stops, looking at you over his shoulder.
“Why do you stay?” He whispers, the defeat clear in his voice.
“Well, I sure as hell wasn’t going to leave Donna high and dry-“
“Why do you stay with Dean? Knowing about the– the monsters?” He corrects. The panic rolls off of him like a fog, tendrils curling and whispering for you to get lost in it.
“What do ya mean?”
“Your husband fights vampires, werewolves… monsters! Things that aren’t supposed to exist! How can you stay?” He harshly whispers, as if saying it too loud makes it any more true. You stare blankly at him; sure you’ve seen plenty of people shaken after their first encounter with the supernatural; but Doug? He’s had to have seen gruesome stuff in his time on the force.
“It’s his job,” you frown, “It would be the same if he were in the military or law enforcement.” You watch as he recedes into his whatever panic storm is happening in his mind. “Are you ok? Did you talk with Donna?” You place a hand on his shoulder, his whole body deflating at your touch.
“I wanted to be a cop to help folks. I didn’t sign on for monsters.” He looks off into the distance, the recent horrors he just witnessed clearly dancing in front of his eyes.
“That’s all Dean and Sam do, save people.” You smile, leaning forward until you catch his gaze. “They unfortunately didn’t have a no monster option. It’s also why Dean gets three hours of sleep a week, can drink a liquor store dry and has enough trauma that any regular person would go insane.”
“And you’re ok with that?” He scoffs, shaking his head at all the terrifying possibilities about what your words mean.
“I didn’t marry him because I think I can fix him. I love him, as he is.” You shrug, watching the thoughts churn in his head as he tries to figure out the next move. “You’re really going to give up Donna because she fights monsters?” You haven’t spent nearly as much time with Donna as you like, but the one thing you know for sure if you both will hang onto your husbands no matter the price.
“I don’t think I’m strong enough.” He whispers. You sigh, pulling him into a hug.
“She thinks you are. And so do I.” You squeeze him tight. “Can I tell you something?” You ask as you let him go. He gives you a small nod, wiping a tear away. “Leaving Donna won’t make the fear go away. It won’t stop you from looking at every person differently. It won’t change the fact that you know what lurks in the dark. But trust me when I say that having her by your side is better than any future without her.” He studies you for a moment, brain calculating all the scenarios.
“Does Dean feel that about you?” He whispers.
The question punches you right in the gut. It should have been a simple answer. A yes of course he does, that’s why we're married. But your mouth feels like it’s full of sand. Every moment where Dean has pushed you away, told you to leave, to forget, comes rushing to the forefront. And here you stand. Telling Doug he should stay; that he should want to stay. But you have no evidence that it would be good for him; that he could continue on with his life as normal. The one thing you learned being with Dean is that you were involved with the family business whether you wanted it or not. It’s just how it went being close to a hunter.
The motel door creaks open, Sam and Donna making their way to the car.
“Ready sweetheart?” Dean asks, taking your hand.
“Ya.” You smile at him, giving his hand a squeeze as you turn back to Doug. “Talk with Donna, she deserves that. You both deserve to make a decision together.” You give Doug a small smile, letting Dean guide you to the car.
_______
One thing nice about driving with the boys is you could boot Sammy to the front and sprawl out in the back. Dean even keeps a little blanket in the trunk for you. Leather seats are three things: cold, hot or sticky. Can’t have baby makin you uncomfortable sweetheart. You smile at the memory as you stare at the back of Dean’s head. The rain gently thumps at the windows, Sammy’s fingers clacking against the keys of his laptop.
“You were a little tough on Donna back there.” Dean states, keeping his voice low to not disturb you.
“What?” Sam frowns, the clacking coming to an abrupt stop.
“Just sayin’.” Dean shrugs, taking in a deep breath. He couldn’t believe he told Donna to let Doug go; Sam, telling her to let the love of her life go.
“Was I wrong? I mean, when has knowing us ever worked out for anyone?” His eyes flick to you as you roll to face the back of the seat.
“(Y/N)?” Dean shrugs.
“What?”
“It’s worked out for (Y/N), according to her.” Dean clarifies.
“Oh ya, I bet she always dreamed of falling in love with a guy who constantly tells her she can’t be a hunter because she could die. And who constantly makes life altering decisions for her.” Sam deadpans.
“We save people, Sam.” He points out. Save tons of people, every day, every year. That has to count for something.
“Yeah, we also get people killed, Dean. Kaia, for instance. She helped us and she died for it. And the list of (Y/N) getting hurt or almost dead isn’t exactly short.”
“Hey, look, I know you’re in some sort of a—”
“No, no, no, don’t – don’t… You keep saying I’m in a dark place, but I’m not, Dean. Everything I’m saying is the truth. It’s our lives. And I tried to pretend it didn’t have to be. I tried to pretend (Y/N) would be safe, that we could have Mom back and Cas and – and help Jack. But we can’t. This ends one way for us, Dean. It ends bloody.”
The three of you sit in silence. Dean always told you he would go down fighting; it always seemed to be the hand he was dealt. He just never actually died, so you both had agreed that maybe that’s not the true end designed for him. But Sam giving up on the happily ever after? That was just as bad as you giving up…
“You’re the reason she holds on so tight.” He whispers, seeing Sam turn toward him out of the corner of his eye. “You told her to always keep fighting; to fight for the life she wants, to fight for me. I was prepared to let her go years ago. Prepared for my soul to ache for the rest of my life.” He accuses. “But you’re the one who said to not give her up. To fight for her. Why –”
“Maybe I shouldn’t have.” Sam interrupts. You shift in your seat, moving your blanket to muffle the sound of your heart breaking.
_______
One would think spending their whole life fighting everything that lurks in the dark would make it uncomfortable. But as Sam lays in the pitch black of his room, he feels calm. He’s embraced the fact that he lives in the dark, like some creature waiting for whatever fight is next. No searching for something to hold on to, for hope about the future.
God was no better than any other supernatural being, Mom and Jack are as good as dead… After tossing and turning he gets up, easily making his way down the hall in the dark. He stops at your studio door and listens; he can hear the faint clicking of your keyboard accompanied by a faint static noise he can only assume is music. He gently pushes the door, you’re bopping your head along to whatever’s coming through your headphones as you mess with a project on your computer.
He lets his eyes wander around the room; it’s filled with fabric, blank canvases, half painted paintings, partially done costumes and a large wall of books. This room is very much you; warm, inviting and filled with things that make you happy. It was often a safe space for him, both when you were in it and when you weren’t. You both had many late night conversations about anything that came to mind, talked through a lot of the darkness he carried with him.
“Geezus Sammy!” You jump out of your chair, nearly knocking over your water bottle. “Scared the tarts out of me!” You move it out of arms reach and slide off your headphones.
“Right, sorry.” He frowns. You tilt your head to the side, walking over to him and gently taking his hands in yours.
“You ok?” you ask. He gives you a curt nod, eyes looking anywhere but at you.
“Whatever happened to that painting, the one with the two hands holding onto each other?”
“It’s here, haven’t got around to hanging it up.” You pull it out from a stack that’s leaned against the wall, putting it up on your easel and sliding the fabric sheet off to reveal it.
“Always keep fighting.” Sam mumbles, his fingers gently tracing the words. It’s written dozens of times in the background, your perfect sloppy writing making it feel like you’re telling him to do just that.
“Sammy!” You yell over your shoulder in the general direction of his room.
“Ya?” He yells back.
“Come here!”
He pads down the hall, standing in your doorway.
“Need you to hand model with me.” You wave him over. You take one hand, having him wrap his fingers around your wrist while you do the same. “Now pull.”
He pulls, a little too hard, and you ram into his chest.
“Not that hard Sammy!” you giggle.
“Ok, ok… not that hard. Got it.”
He huffs in amusement at the memory. It seemed silly at the time but it’s moving to see your hand holding him up, keeping him from slipping away.
“Why is one side written upside down?”
“Because love flows both ways.” You rotate the picture so now his hand is holding yours. You slot your hand into his, leaning your head on his arm as the two of you study it.
“What if holding on was the mistake?” He asks.
“It wasn’t.” You can feel him shift against you. “I didn���t walk into this life blind Sam.” You bite down on your tongue, praying the tears not to slip down your face. “I-”
He pulls you into his arms, squeezing you tight. He has always pulled you closer; pulled you into the hunting life, into his brother’s life, into his own life. Selfish. It was the only word that came to his mind. He always thought that karma would follow through. That every single monster he and Dean put in the ground would let them have just a sliver of something good. And he was hoping it would be you. But maybe Dean was right this whole time, you’ll only end up hurt or dead.
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