#cas deserves everything

[jenanigans1207]

What I wanted so badly was for Mary to learn about her boys from Cas. Like that night where Cas finds her when she can’t sleep and she expresses that she just doesn’t know anything about her sons since she missed so much?? All I wanted was for Cas to sit down with her at the table and just start telling her about them. Basic stuff at first: their favorite foods, their sleeping habits, the stuff he’s just observed by being their passenger for years.

And then I want him to say something totally Cas, like “Dean always wears more layers but that’s because his body naturally runs two degrees colder than Sam’s. But that’s normal for him and not indicative of any illness, so it’s nothing to worry about.”

And as they talk, it starts to get a little deeper, and Cas tells her more. He tells her about what she missed, about all the horrible things that happened to her sons and how they coped; how it changed them. And he tells her about Sam, he does, but really it ends up being all about Dean.

He’ll tell her about how Dean clenches his fists when he’s upset, even as he tries to keep his face impassive. About how Dean drums his fingers on the steering wheel when he’s anxious. He’ll tell her about Dean’s nightmares, about the ways he’s chosen to cope. He’ll tell her how to know when to approach Dean and when to give him space, how to gently acknowledge what he’s feeling without pushing him too far.

And with every word he says, Mary’s curious head tilt from when she’d seen them hug in reunion turns into a bone deep type of certainty. Because Cas is telling her things that only someone who paid special attention would notice. He’s telling her things that only someone very, very close to her son’s heart would know.

Cas will tell her the cliff notes of what they’ve been through; will tell her how the whole world looked to Dean and he rose to the occasion over and over again. He’ll tell her about Dean’s doubts in himself and then vehemently declare them as wrong and explain, at length, why. He will tell her about the people Dean has loved— the people who loved him like he was their own— and lost. He will tell her about Bobby, Ellen, Jody, Donna, and Charlie. He’ll tell her about Claire, too, and how Dean stepped up.

And the whole time, Mary will have this realization that oh, she may not have been around to guide and protect her sons, but there was always someone there to care for them and support them when they needed it. She will realize that she and John may have left them, but they were never alone.

But more than that, there was someone there for Dean. Someone picking Dean over and over again while Dean picked Sam, or the world, over himself. There was someone fighting for Dean when he wasn’t fighting for himself. There was someone who saw Dean, and loved him unconditionally.

Sitting across from her, at the asscrack of dawn, filling her in on all the things she missed was every mother’s dream: someone who loved her child with the kind of devotion that would break the world. And from the sounds of the stories she was being told, it did break the world. Someone whose love is entirely untainted and comes without any strings attached.

It’s so clear to her as she listens to Cas talk that Cas loves Dean with no expectations. That loving Dean is something he just does, like he doesn’t know how not to love Dean, like the possibility of not loving him never occurred to Cas. He loves Dean in a way that Mary knows can and will soothe Dean’s sharp edges and battered heart. He loves Dean in the kind of pure way that tells Mary that it will continue to endure and overcome everything without ever diminishing, even the littlest amount.

Mary, through tears, will tell Cas how she always told Dean that there were angels watching over him. And before Cas can make some comment about Dean being the Righteous Man and the interest of most of Heaven, she will place a hand over his and give him a motherly look that will convey all the things she’s not sure how to say— and the things she’s not sure Cas is ready to hear yet. And Cas will flush and look away, mumbling about how her son is very special to him.

And when she pulls him into a hug and murmurs thank yous into his shoulder, she will be comforted in the knowledge that her sons turned out to be wonderful men, and that they managed to stay together through everything. She will be comforted to know that no matter what happens, no matter her shortcomings as she tries to fill a role she never meant to leave, Sam will have Dean and Dean will have Cas.

And this time, when Cas tells her that she belongs here, she will believe him. And she will tell him that he belongs here, too.

And when Dean wakes up a few hours later and wanders in to find Mary and Cas still chatting over the table, he’ll be surprised— but pleased— to find Mary looking more at ease. He’ll be pleased when she gives him a warm hug and pats him on the cheek and tell him with all the sincerity that only a mother can muster that she’s glad that he met Castiel. And when Dean agrees, a little confused, Mary will just smile at him.

“I always said I’d like a third son.” She says, “so give him a reason to take our last name, won’t you?”

And Dean will splutter and turn fifteen shades of red as he steadfastly doesn’t look at Cas but mumbles something that suggests he’s not against the idea at all.

And Mary will laugh again and wink at an equally red Cas before heading towards the kitchen like “Cas said waffles are your favorite, so I hope you’re hungry!”

[dogearedheart]

anna x mary

[drulalovescas]

When Cas confessed Dean his love, he had no expectations. He just wanted to say it. He just wanted for Dean to know he was loved unconditionally.

[deangril]

Hello, Dean

[annmariethrush]

love reading destiel AUs and I love to imagine that they got to meet and be together earlier in their lives, but god if there’s not a special place in my heart for those two old(er) men falling in love. It’s so pure to me, for them to have been through so much, both together and apart, before finally getting together. 😭

[dhampiravidi]

AU where the Winchesters exist in the same world as the Shadowhunters. "Hunters" are known to the Nephilim as fanatics--mundanes who sought to become Shadowhunters but didn't make it in the Academy or weren't taken to an Institute, SO they tried to do things on their own. The few Hunters who know about the Nephilim think that they're a group of self-centered zealots.

[rocker-socks]

not to be insane but Stephanie Brown is so underrated and i really do hate to say its misogyny but. well. It is.

[youchangedmedestiel]

Here's a little awful thought

Dean prefers not having Cas at all than having him and then losing him.

That's why Dean never told Cas about his feelings for him. And he was right because as soon Cas did, Dean lost him.

(Might put that first sentence in one of my fics one day).

[seenthisepisode]

whatever you do don't think about stanford era dean remembering his last birthday with his mom. he barely remembers because he was four and now he is in a bar in the middle of nowhere, maine and the fog on his brain and the buzz in his ears makes it even harder to focus but he tries, he tries so hard to rememeber the pattern on the dress mary was wearing that january day 20 years ago when she put that cake (strawberry and chocolate?) with four candles on the kitchen table. he remembers the bright winter sun outside and he swears there were a few other kids from his kindergaden around the table but he can't put a name to a face but he knows he wasn't alone and alone is all he feels right now. it's pathetic but he already tried to call john and sam. even though they're the ones who were supposed to call him, he thinks bitterly, and it's stupid, birthdays are stupid, it's a meaningless day, but he feels more abandoned than ever, sitting in some hole, wasting the last of his money for the cheapest beer. it's cold outside and john took the car so he stays in the bar; he thinks about playing pool but he already is seeing double so it's a non option. everything is dark and smells horribly and the bartender looks like he will kick him out pretty soon so he straightens up and tries to put a neutral expression on his face. he stumbles out of the bar a few hours later, a wreck, and sits on the nearest bench he finds, the river is rushing somewhere nearby, he can hear it, or maybe its the alcohol buzzing in his ears, he doesn't know, but he sits himself on that old broken bench under a crooked streetlamp and hides his face in his hands.

(oh, its a fic on ao3 now!)

[quietwingsinthesky]

god the idea of a version of spn where uriel survives until the end is fascinating to me actually. i feel like part of the problem with castiel's character is that he's so disconnected, you'll get an angel a season there to work as castiel's parallel and then they're killed off and never brought up again. but uriel? the first one we see him with? who is so diametrically opposed to castiel in s4?

if he makes it to s5, does he team up with lucifer? he'd be the only angel that we know of who does. Abandon All Hope, but it's not castiel meeting a stranger, but Castiel also meeting with someone he considered a friend, who he would still consider a brother, and still having to tell him no. and Uriel throws his lot in with Lucifer, and that means he has to spend more time with demons? is there any part of him that looks at them and realizes that everyone on both sides is serving a god that doesn't want to look at them.

s6!! Lucifer lost!!! and that makes Uriel a traitor to Heaven so he can't go to Raphael, no matter how their goals may almost align (in the opening of the Cage, less so in who they're opening it for) and he can't go to Castiel! too much bad blood! too much betrayal! Where do you go during a civil war when both sides would prefer you dead?

Look, I don't know where this is going, but what I'm saying is, wouldn't it have been interesting to see Castiel and Uriel evolve as characters alongside each other. We know Castiel before Heaven gets blown to bits and falls, and that's why seeing the effects on him hurt so bad, the way he just loses more and more of what he tried to once save, uncovers more and more of how Heaven has been hurting angels. Just one other angel to react to that in a similar way but with a completely different viewpoint would have made it even more effective, and Uriel is perfect for that.

(I mean, in my mind, this ends as I always wish the whole heaven and angels arc in spn had, where those left over finally come together, look at the ruins that have been brought about, and take what they have been forced to learn to work together and build something better. rather than. you know. handing the reins to a three year old.)

[yourleftpinkytoe-blog]

^ this song is so Andrew/Renee coded

[cassie-thorne]

I love kindred.

[musclesandhammering]

Spn season 4 au where most stuff is the same, but Cas is in her 1901 female vessel the whole time, and she realises from the beginning that Sam and Dean think she’s a demon so she just rolls with that and pretends to be one for like the whole season. Also, she hates Dean right off the bat and is only associating with him begrudgingly (he prob makes some gross sexual comment to her on first meeting and that’s what did it idk).

[oldwindmillandagarden]

Dean deserved to live Dean deserved to live Dean deserved to live DEAN! DESERVED!!! TO LIVE!!!!!

[youchangedmedestiel]

You know what, for Dean's 45th birthday, which is tomorrow (January 24th), I only want to see posts about him being happy. I want to see pics of him smiling. I want to see GIFs of him acting goofily. I want to read about him being alive and loved.

No, wait, I don't want it. I NEED it!

Here's an example:

[rad-bitch-sad-bitch]

S6 is like if the writers had two cohesive plots they could flesh out and instead they just didn’t really for either of them