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hotvintagepoll · 6 months ago

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THE TOURNAMENT IS OVER! Eartha Kitt lounges in her deck chair in the sun, dipping her toes in the pool with Toshiro Mifune and sipping a brightly colored fruity something with an umbrella in it.

Far below in the shadow realm, however, the fallen hotties dance in the dark—let's take a minute to look back at them under the cut.

PRELIM PRETTIES:

Claude Gensac, Silvia Pinal, Ewa Aulin, Rita Tushingham, Annette Funicello, Norma Bengell, Catherine Spaak, Brigitte Auber, Micheline Presle, Nanette Fabray, Libertad Lamarque, Vera Miles, Martha Raye, Catherine McLeod, Virginia Mayo, Elizabeth Allan, Belle Bennet, Virginia Cherill, Mary Brian, Ruth Chatterton, Agnes Ayres, Merna Kennedy, Marie Prevost, Corinne Griffith, May Allison, Virginia Brown Faire, Alice Brady, and Jetta Goudal

ROUND ONE WONDERS:

Angie Dickinson, Thelma Ritter, Geraldine Chaplin, Evelyn Preer, Vanessa Brown, Betty Blythe, Susan Hayward, Mae Clarke, Sally Ann Howes, Ossi Oswalda, Adrienne La Russa, Hermione Gingold, Barbara Bouchet, Melina Mercouri, Anna Karina, Edwige Fenech, Charmian Carr, Pina Pellicer, Marlène Jobert, Tsuru Aoki, Alice Roberts, Leila Hyams, Lady Tsen Mei, Geneviève Bujold, Dolores Hart, Anita Berber, Bonita Granville, Vonetta McGee, Claire Windsor, Zizi Jeanmaire, Tuesday Weld, Grace Darmond, Carol Channing, Deanna Durbin, Laraine Day, Mariette Hartey, Wendy Hiller, Candy Darling, Hermione Baddely, Valeria Creti, Ella Raines, Ann Miller, Dana Wynter, Dalida, Martine Beswick, Gale Storm, Simone Signoret, Cristina Gaioni, Mabel Normand, Stéphane Audran, Ruth Weyher, Anna Wiazemsky, Ann Sheridan, Sandhya Shantaram, Alice White, Anne Francis, Gena Rowlands, Lyda Borelli, May Whitty, Cathleen Nesbitt, Jessica Walter, Virna Lisi, Barbara Shelley, Iris Hall, Heather Angel, Anne Shirley, Joanna Pettet, Virginia O'Brien, Joan Collins, Greer Garson, Gracie Allen, Peggy Ryan, Frances Dee, Shirley Maclaine, Geraldine Farrar, Kathleen Byron, Margaret Hamilton, Eva Gabor, Francesca Bertini, Julie Adams, Olga Baclanova, Misa Uehara, Yvette Vickers, Milena Dravić, Jenny Jugo, Madeleine Carroll, Benita Hume, Olive Borden, Shirley Jones, Miyoshi Umeki, Dorothy Lamour, Gale Sondergaard, Mary Anderson, Charlotte Greenwood, Sybil Seely, Mona Barrie, Kathryn Grayson, Katharine Ross, Madge Bellamy, Rhonda Fleming, Sally Gray, Jana Brejchová, Debra Paget, Madame Sul-Te-Wan, Evelyn Brent, Zelma O'Neal, Marie Laforêt, Türkan Şoray, Beatriz Costa, Irene Zazians, Eleanor Powell, Susan Luckey, Patsy Kelly, Lil Dagover, Norma Talmadge, Dorothy Mackaill, Madge Evans, Virginia McKenna, Amália Rodrigues, Mamie Van Doren, Valerie Hobson, Isabel Jeans, Beata Tyszkiewicz, Claire Luce, Aleksandra Khokhlova, Nieves Navarro Garcia, Janet Leigh, Carmen Miranda, Jean Harlow, Aud Egedge-Nissen, Nina Foch, Jean Simmons, Piper Laurie, Katy Jurado, Jayne Mansfield, Anita Garvin, Frances Farmer, Lizabeth Scott, Joan Greenwood, Una Merkel, Arlene Francis, Ethel Merman, Doris Day, Suzanne Pleshette, Ruta Lee, Carolyn Jones, June Richmond, Eva Nil, Diana Dors, Anna Chang, Colleen Moore, Alexis Smith, Yvette Mimieux, Ruby Keeler, Viola Dana, Dolores Grey, Marie Windsor, Danielle Darieux, Jean Parker, Julie Christie, Acquanetta, Leatrice Joy, Ghita Nørby, Julie Newmar, Joanne Woodward, Sandra Dee, Eva Marie Saint, Simone Simon, Katherine Dunham, Birgitte Price, Lee Grant, Anita Page, Flora Robson, Martha Sleeper, Elsie Ames, Isabel "Coca" Sarli, Glenda Farrell, Kathleen Burke, Linden Travers, Diane Baker, Joan Davis, Joan Leslie, Sylvia Sidney, Marie Dressler, June Lockhart, Emmanuelle Riva, Libertad Leblanc, Susannah Foster, Susan Fleming, Dolores Costello, Ann Smyrner, Luise Rainer, Anna Massey, Evelyn Ankers, Ruth Gordon, Eva Dahlbeck, Ansa Ikonen, Diana Wynyard, Patricia Neal, Etta Lee, Gloria Stuart, Arletty, Dorothy McGuire, Mitzi Gaynor, Gwen Verdon, Maria Schell, Lili Damita, Ethel Moses, Gloria Holden, Kay Thompson, Jeanne Crain, Edna May Oliver, Lili Liliana, Ruth Chatterton, Giulietta Masina, Claire Bloom, Dinah Sheridan, Carroll Baker, Brenda de Banzie, Milú, Hertha Thiele, Hanka Ordonówna, Lillian Roth, Jane Powell, Carol Ohmart, Betty Garrett, Kalina Jędrusik, Edana Romney, Geraldine Fitzgerald, Kay Kendall, Ruth Hussey, Véra Clouzot, Jadwiga Smosarska, Marge Champion, Mary Astor, Ann Harding, María Casares, Maureen O'Sullivan, Mildred Natwick, Michèle Morgan, Romy Schneider, Elisabeth Bergner, Celeste Holm, Betty Hutton, Susan Peters, Mehtab, Leslie Caron, Anna Sten, Janet Munro, Nataša Gollová, Eve Arden, Ida Lupino, Regina Linnanheimo, Sonja Henie, and Terry (what a good girl)

ROUND TWO BEAUTIES:

Evelyn Nesbit, Thelma Todd, Tura Satana, Helen Gibson, Maureen O'Hara, Rocío Dúrcal, Mary Nolan, Lois Maxwell, Maggie Smith, Zulma Faiad, Ursula Andress, Musidora, Delphine Seyrig, Marian Marsh, Leatrice Joy, Sharon Tate, Pina Menichelli, Teresa Wright, Shelley Winters, Lee Remick, Jane Wyman, Martita Hunt, Barbara Bates, Susan Strasberg, Marie Bryant, Diana Rigg, Jane Birkin, Rosalind Russell, Vanessa Redgrave, Brigitte Helm, Gloria Grahame, Rosemary Clooney, Bebe Daniels, Constance Bennett, Lilian Bond, Ann Dvorak, Jeanette Macdonald, Pouri Banayi, Raquel Welch, Vilma Bánky, Dorothy Malone, Olive Thomas, Celia Johnson, Moira Shearer, Priscilla Lane, Dolores del Río, Ann Sothern, Françoise Rosay, June Allyson, Carole Lombard, Jeni Le Gon, Takako Irie, Barbara Steele, Claudette Colbert, Lalita Pawar, Asta Nielsen, Sandra Milo, Maria Montez, Mae West, Alma Rose Aguirre, Bibi Andersson, Joan Blondell, Anne Bancroft, Elsa Lanchester, Nita Naldi, Suchitra Sen, Dorothy Van Engle, Elisabeth Welch, Esther Williams, Loretta Young, Margueritte De La Motte, Ita Rina, Constance Talmadge, Margaret Lockwood, Barbara Bedford, Josette Day, Stefania Sandrelli, Jane Russell, Doris Dowling, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Donna Reed, Ruby Dee, Diana Sands, Billie Burke, Kyōko Kagawa, Françoise Dorléac, Hend Rostom, Monica Vitti, Lilian Harvey, Marjorie Main, Jeanne Moreau, Lola Flores, Ann Blyth, Janet Gaynor, Jennifer Jones, Margaret Sullavan, Sadhana, Ruby Myers, Lotus Long, Honor Blackman, Marsha Hunt, Debbie Reynolds, Michèle Mercier, Irene Dunne, Jean Arthur, Judy Holliday, Tippi Hedren, Susse Wold, Vera-Ellen, Carmelita González, Nargis Dutt, Purnima, Harriet Andersson, Yvonne De Carlo, Miroslava Stern, Sheila Guyse, Helen, Margaret Dumont, Betty Grable, Joan Bennett, Jane Greer, Judith Anderson, Liv Ullman, Vera Zorina, Joan Fontaine, Silvana Mangano, and Lee Ya-Ching

ROUND THREE ELECTRIFIERS:

Jean Hagen, Sumiko Mizukubo, Mary Philbin, Ann-Margret, Margaret Rutherford, Claudia Cardinale, Eleanor Parker, Jessie Matthews, Theresa Harris, Brigitte Bardot, Alla Nazimova, Faye Dunaway, Marion Davies, Anna Magnani, Theda Bara, Myrna Loy, Kay Francis, Fay Wray, Barbra Streisand, Bette Davis, Hideko Takamine, France Nuyen, Claudine Auger, Miriam Hopkins, Maylia Fong, Samia Gamal, Maude Fealy, Machiko Kyō, Sharmila Tagore, Lucille Ball, Ginger Rogers, Juanita Moore, Anna Fougez, Waheeda Rehman, Ruan Lingyu, Nina Mae McKinney, Ethel Waters, Nadira, Olivia de Havilland, Abbey Lincoln, Louise Beavers, Agnes Moorehead, Lana Turner, Norma Shearer, Maria Falconetti, Reiko Sato, Marie Doro, Clara Bow, Margaret Lindsay, Catherine Denueve, Madhabi Mukherjee, Rosaura Revueltas, Hu Die, Mary Pickford, Fredi Washington, Louise Brooks, Leonor Maia, Merle Oberon, Paulette Goddard, Vivien Leigh, Francine Everett, Savitri, Tita Merello, and Meena Kumari

ROUND FOUR STUNNERS:

Judy Garland, Dorothy Dandridge, Yoshiko Yamaguchi, Marilyn Monroe, Irene Papas, Lupe Vélez, Pola Negri, Gene Tierney, Barbara Stanwyck, Gina Lollobrigida, Lena Horne, Nutan, Jean Seberg, Kim Novak, Gladys Cooper, Tallulah Bankhead, Linda Darnell, Julie Andrews, Carmen Sevilla, Gloria Swanson, Glynis Johns, Anne Baxter, Angela Lansbury, Anita Ekberg, Toshia Mori, Deborah Kerr, Hazel Scott, Chelo Alonso, Cyd Charisse, Nancy Kwan, Devika Rani, Shima Iwashita, and Anouk Aimée

ROUND FIVE SMOKESHOWS:

Setsuko Hara, Pearl Bailey, Joan Crawford, Madhubala, Marpessa Dawn, Keiko Awaji, Rita Hayworth, Veronica Lake, Ava Gardner, Greta Garbo, Grace Kelly, Xia Meng, Suraiya, Natalie Wood, María Félix, and Mbissine Thérèse Diop

ROUND SIX SEXY LADIES:

Marilyn Monroe, Sophia Loren, Vyjyanthimala, Jane Fonda, Katharine Hepburn, Josephine Baker, Elizabeth Taylor, and Ingrid Bergman

QUARTER FINALIST GLAMAZONS:

Audrey Hepburn, Marlene Dietrich, Anna May Wong, and Lauren Bacall

SEMIFINALIST ICONS:

Rita Moreno, Diahann Carroll

FINALIST FABULOSITY:

Hedy Lamarr

ULTIMATE CHAMPION OF THE HOT & VINTAGE MOVIE WOMAN TOURNAMENT:

Eartha Kitt

#fuck that old woman

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ohblackdiamond · 2 years ago

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shock them, show them [ace/paul “little t&a” cutscene]

This is a goofy, rather self-serving not-really-cutscene from “little t&a,” answering a question no one ever actually asked: what if Paul’s curse was contagious? Sexswapped Ace/Paul.

Notes: I fooled with this off and on not too long after “little t&a” wrapped up, mostly for my own amusement, but was encouraged to continue/finish it by some very kind feedback. This doesn’t fit neatly into the storyline, nor is it supposed to. Physically lesbian smut between two seventies male rockstars. I apologize in advance.

“shock them, show them” by Ruriruri

He hadn’t answered the phone since Gene had come. The only reason he picked up was because he figured it might be Gene on the line.

“Hello?”

“Paulie!” A somewhat shrill, vaguely familiar voice greeted him immediately. “Paulie, you bastard, you’re contagious!”

“What’re you talking a--”

“It’s me! It’s Ace! You turned me into a chick, too!”

“Ace, that’s not funny. Quit using that voice.”

“’M not! Fuck, I was barely even around you! Gene ought to be the one getting it!”

“You’re putting on--”

“I’ll prove it! I’m coming over, asshole.” Ace never could manage to be vitriolic. Even when he was irritated, there was usually a weird edge of humor to his words. “Gimme an hour.”

“Ace, hang on, wait--”

“Don’t doll yourself up for me, man, I’m not Geno here.” A snort, the line going dead. Paul held the phone in his hand for a dull few seconds before hanging it up. No way. No possible way. Carol couldn’t have wanted this curse to be contagious. Could she? Maybe Ace was just fooling around on him. He’d be over in one of the old dresses from that drag party, bra stuffed with toilet paper, all for the sake of getting Paul to do a double-take. Yeah. Yeah.

Forty-five minutes later, Paul was proven devastatingly wrong when Ace showed up at his door.

To his credit, Ace’s outfit was a vast improvement over the bathrobes Paul had saddled himself with before Gene had shown up. Unfortunately, Ace had lifted half of said outfit from his wife, who was still a fair amount shorter than he was. Her jeans looked like high-water pants on his frame, and the flipflops just made the whole look sadder. Ace was wearing an old, now-baggier t-shirt he’d bought on their first tour, a puke-yellow number advertising some midwest restaurant.

Ace had a cuter, slightly more feminine face than he did. Paul had always thought Ace looked like Shirley MacLaine when he’d done drag or glam, but that hadn’t been really fair. Ace’s features weren’t as much like hers as he’d figured-- not soft to the point of being a bit indistinct. His nose still took up too much of his face, eyes still interesting-looking, though not what Paul considered pretty. Not only that, but Ace was still taller than him, still skinnier than him-- Paul wasn’t exactly jealous so much as baffled. Well. Maybe a little jealous. Ace didn’t look too angry or frustrated, under the circumstances, sauntering in and tossing his keys on the coffee table.

“Ace, I’m sorry, I dunno how this ha--” Paul started, only for Ace to shrug.

“It’s just a curse, man, it’s not your fault.” And then a laugh. “Well, it is, but--”

“You want anything?” It felt like a stupid thing to ask. “Gene’ll be back in a couple hours. He just went to pick up some things.”

“Shit, did you already get him to move in with you? You move fast, Paul.” Ace winked. “I don’t want anything. I’ll just hide out here until we either break the curse or have to start a girl group.”

“We won’t start a girl group,” Paul muttered, and then it hit him. “What about Jeanette?”

Ace’s expression faltered slightly, and he shrugged again.

“There ain’t a good way to tell your wife she’s married to a chick for awhile.”

“No lesbianism? I thought you and her were pretty adventurous.”

“She didn’t think it was me. I kept trying to tell her.”

“But you look like yourself--”

“Missing a pretty crucial dick there.” Ace wandered into the kitchen. Paul followed him, watching him dig through the fridge with more familiarity than Paul was comfortable with. Inevitably, he pulled out a beer. “’S all right. I’ll get her back soon.”

They watched T.V. together for awhile while Ace finished off two beers. Paul was privately amazed at Ace’s lack of much discomfort or self-pity. Maybe Ace was just that certain they’d break the curse soon, or maybe he really didn’t care that much. It was a level of calm Paul didn’t know if he envied.

“D’you got any clothes, Paulie?”

Paul sighed. So much for the handful of outfits Gene had bought him.

“They won’t fit you.”

“What, ’cause of your tits?” Ace snorted. “I just want some t-shirts. This is all I got for now.”

“C’mon.” Paul took him to his bedroom. Ace dug around in the chest of drawers as if it were his own, picking out one of Paul’s hopelessly-oversized t-shirts. Then, looking mildly dejected, he picked through the clothes in Paul’s closet, reaching for the blouses Gene had gotten for him.

“You can’t take those. I just bought them.”

“Okay.” Ace grabbed a purple paisley button-down instead. Paul opened his mouth to protest, then shut it. “I’ll tie it in the front. Thanks.” He didn’t hang either top up, just draped them on top of the dresser before returning to sit beside Paul on the bed.

“You can borrow more than that.”

“’M hoping I don’t have to.”

“I didn’t think you cared.”

“I care. I’m just not gonna cry about it.”

“There’s a lot to cry about. If we don’t fix this soon, KISS is fucked.”

“Sure, KISS is fucked,” Ace said conversationally, “but I think we should focus on the really important things.”

“KISS is the really important thing.”

“No.” Ace waved his hand. “We’ve got a once in a lifetime opportunity here. Tiresias and all that shit.”

“You know about Tiresias?”

“Jeanette made me go back to school when I tried to quit.” Ace’s expression didn’t lose a hint of its sunniness. “Let’s figure some shit out. Lemme see your tits.”

“Ace, c’mon.”

“Okay, okay, I’ll go first.” Ace yanked off his top. Unsurprisingly, there was nothing beneath it. His breasts barely qualified as handfuls, too far apart and too small to make anything resembling cleavage, though they were quite perky, his nipples noticeably hard. Great. “How’s that?”

“I’ve seen better.”

“Me too. Your turn.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously. Unless you still look like a fucking werewolf under there.”

Paul flipped him off. Then, half just to prove Ace wrong, he unbuttoned his blouse, wadding it up and tossing it in Ace’s face. He hadn’t bothered with a bra that morning. Ace’s eyes widened.

“Shit. Shit, Paulie.” He reached out a hand almost hesitantly, like he thought Paul might slap him if he got too close. Rolling his eyes, Paul just grabbed Ace’s hand and pressed his palm against one breast. “Are they sensitive? I don’t feel a damn thing with mine. Even twisting the nipples doesn’t work.”

“Uh,” Paul mumbled. Ace cupping and prodding his breasts like a teenage boy with his first girlfriend wasn’t doing much for him, sure, but-- “I think it’s better if it’s someone else doing it.”

“You volunteering?” Ace tweaked one nipple, making Paul twitch involuntarily, before scooting up closer. “Go for it.”

It was weird as hell. He’d fooled around with Ace before, although not as much as he had with Peter early on. Let Ace suck him off when they were both drunk. Made out with him a handful of times. That kind of thing. It hadn’t been experimental for either of them. Just something to do. Ace had never exactly gotten him hot in more than a sideways manner; he was too gangly, too androgynous, and his face was riddled with acne scars. All of that was still true now, but-- he looked a bit better as a girl. Paul figured, back in high school, he would’ve tried to go to bed with a chick that looked like Ace, keenly aware that was about the upper limit of what a fat, curly-haired wannabe hippie could’ve managed.

As stupid as it was, he felt more like a guy while sizing up Ace than he had in over a week. More like he had a hand in what was happening. It felt good, empowering, almost, even if he couldn’t act on it the way he would’ve wanted. It felt good knowing Ace probably didn’t give a damn, either.

Paul closed a hand around one of Ace’s breasts. Just a little thing. He wouldn’t have needed a bra, really. Maybe they could get away with it in the band as long as Ace was the only one stuck as a girl. After all, Ace only ever sung backing vocals and they tried not to let him do interviews. Thinking about the look on Ace’s face when Paul had mentioned his wife, though, made Paul feel a twinge of guilt for even considering the viability of Ace staying in the band that way. Ace’s expression didn’t shift any, even when Paul started groping in earnest. Not until Paul’s other hand went for the button of Ace’s jeans.

“Oh, girlie, I thought you’d take me to dinner first,” Ace cracked, hips shifting forward. Paul slid the zipper down, fingers teasing their way beneath his jeans. Predictably, Ace hadn’t bothered with underwear at all. Ace lifted his hips slightly, wriggling the jeans down a bit so there was less in the way of Paul’s hand.

Even if he hadn’t known already that Ace’s transformation had gone all the way, it was weird to confirm. Strange for his fingers to meet a soft, very wet mound instead of a cock. Paul wondered if Gene felt like that around him, then shrugged off the thought immediately. Better off focusing on what was in front of him.

Paul didn’t think he could credit himself with Ace’s arousal anyway. Ace would sport a hard-on at any time day or night, with or without coke. Still, a part of him marveled at just how slick and open Ace was, how easily he managed to find the swollen, soaked nub of his clit, brushing it carefully with his finger. Paul moved his hand from Ace’s breast (Ace really hadn’t responded much at all to any stimulation there yet) to his shoulder, pushing Ace down until he was flat on the bed. An actual chick might’ve looked vulnerable that way. But Ace just grinned as Paul followed him down, straddling Ace’s leg and kissing him hard on the mouth.

Stupidly, he’d thought kissing Ace would feel different now. But apart from the lack of stubble, it didn’t at all. Ace’s mouth still tasted like alcohol. Ace still kissed languidly, and still had that tendency to cup his hand around the face of whoever he was kissing. Sure, there was no comparison between giving Ace a handjob and rubbing him off right now. And bearing down on Ace wasn’t the same, either. But Ace was still himself somehow. Paul envied that as he started to stroke and rub Ace’s folds in earnest, Ace whining and wriggling beneath him, breaths hot against his face.

“Put a finger in me.”

“You sure? It hurt when I tried it.”

“C’mon, Paul,” Ace grunted, bony hips bucking up. “You think I haven’t? Put a couple, just-- ngh…”

Two fingers slid in easily. Paul crooked them gingerly-- he’d thought he was great with women until he’d tried to masturbate as one-- still sort of afraid he’d hurt him. But Ace just lolled his head back, sharp, high sounds coming from his throat as Paul kept fingering him.

“There… right there… oh, fuck, just like that…” Ace’s fingers found Paul’s hair, yanking painfully. Sweat was beading up on his forehead. Half-unconsciously, Paul rubbed up against Ace’s leg, the friction of fabric against skin a little rough but not unpleasant. “Oh… oh…”

Paul could feel Ace clenching around his fingers as he came.

“We can try scissoring.”

“No.”

“Aw, but I’m a virgin, Paulie. Nobody but you’s ever--”

“Not with your bony hips. I’d get bruises.”

“Have Gene kiss ’em better.” But Ace seemed amenable enough, afterglow brief enough, evidently, that he sat up as soon as Paul got off of him. “That was pretty good. You got any toys?”

“Why the hell do you want a toy?”

Ace tossed him a long-suffering look.

“Are you that scared of putting anything up there? … You haven’t even fucked Gene yet, have you?”

“I don’t want to--”

“Yeah, you do. He’s got a small dick, anyway, I don’t think it’d hurt much going in.” Ace was lackadaisical, stretching his arms out. He hadn’t so much as tugged his jeans back up, and they hung oddly around his thighs. “Peter, though…”

“Do you always do this?”

“Talk about dicks? Well, you tell me, Paulie--”

“No, talk about other people after you just got laid.”

“Just got laid?” Ace laughed. “You call that getting laid?”

“Oh, come on--”

“That was second-base shit! I got farther with chicks when I was fifteen! Fuck, you didn’t even do a muff dive.”

“You didn’t return the favor.”

“You make a girl feel real loved when you won’t take off your pants to screw around.” Ace winked. “I don’t have to have a toy here. Did you really want to go again, or are you just bitching?”

He didn’t think Ace would get it. Messing around with him felt like it was on a different playing field than with Gene. He didn’t feel overwhelmed, or like someone else knew his body better than he did right now. Or as though Ace liked him better this way. Ace’s total shortsightedness was a blessing compared to the stress Paul had put himself through wondering about Gene.

“I’ll go again if you’ll eat me out first.”

Ace saluted him.

Paul had pretty much expected Ace to just go for it. Tell him to lay down and then start in. Fulfill a fetish. Well, part of it, anyway. Paul could admit, at least to himself, that he could really see the appeal of some pseudo-lesbianism right about now, if he’d been with a Playboy model. To have a chick like that go down on him (who was that lesbian friend of Star Stowe’s? He could picture her face, but her name escaped him) would have to be incredible. But Ace didn’t exactly have that kind of draw. As long as he kept his mouth shut, which he wouldn’t, he was cute. But not sexy. Not sexy at all.

Paul suddenly realized he was mentally griping over the oral he’d asked out of Ace. Maybe he had gotten spoiled. Ace, meanwhile, was shucking off his wife’s jeans completely before helping Paul tug off his own. Once he tugged off his panties, Paul could feel Ace’s gaze travel between his thighs, though he didn’t comment.

“Your face feels so fucking weird this smooth,” Ace said instead, tracing his fingers briefly across Paul’s jaw. “I bet you started shaving when you were twelve.”

“Fourteen.”

Ace kissed him twice on the mouth. He looked a little disappointed before shrugging a bit and going in for a deeper kiss, scooting up to straddle Paul’s lap, crossing his ankles behind Paul. Just the faintest bit of warmth traveled through Paul’s spine at the contact. It was the first time he’d really felt aroused towards anyone who wasn’t Gene since the curse started. Forget Gene, it was the first time he’d even been completely naked around anyone since the curse started. But it was weird, too. Ace’s hips slotted up tight against his own-- they weren’t lined up perfectly, no, but that didn’t mean the blood wasn’t starting to rush to Paul’s groin with Ace’s slightly hesitant, experimental rocking against him.

“You’re kinda stiff here. You sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine.” He couldn’t put it into words anyway, and he didn’t think Ace would care. It was just harder to realign himself than he’d thought. With Gene, it had been easier-- he’d known what he wanted, and wasn’t yet willing to give him; the mechanics were theoretically there.With Ace, the full depth of what he lacked was staring him straight in the face. New territory for both of them. He was faltering.

“You’re always kinda a cold fish, I guess, but… you gonna let yourself go more?”

“Maybe you’re just not hot enough.”

It was meaner than he’d intended, but Ace didn’t even flinch.

“Aw, girly, you’ve never seen tits this great in your life. Not even a fucking handful.” Ace laughed, tilting Paul’s chin up with his thumb. “Do you feel funny? I mean, really funny. I thought I would, but…”

“I feel pretty weird,” Paul confessed. “I feel like I don’t know how to act anymore.”

“Just act like you always do.”

“But it doesn’t come off right anymore. Maybe it never did. Everything I do is off now.”

“Everything you did was kinda off before.”

“You know what I mean! I don’t sound right, I don’t move right--”

“You move like a guy,” Ace said dryly.

“Exactly! These-- Ace, it’s an issue.”

“Why is it an issue? You’re not gonna start acting different just because your body’s different.”

“What if I’m supposed to?”

“Paulie, I thought you promised me some hot lesbian sex.”

“Ace, I’m serious.”

“So am I. You’re not supposed to do anything. You’re just making things harder on yourself.” Ace scooted back a bit. Not nearly enough to get out of his lap. “Look, ’m not really thrilled, but I can’t try to pretend I’m somebody else, either. I wouldn’t do that for anybody.”

“That’s easy for you,” Paul retorted. “Nobody expects that out of you.”

“If this is about fucking Gene--”

“It’s not.”

“It is. God, do you think Gene expects you to act any different?”

“I–I don’t know. I just… I know I’m not acting like a real girl.”

Ace gave Paul a long-suffering look and scooted off his lap entirely, crossing his legs.

“Nobody said you had to. What’s a girl act like, anyway?”

“Oh, you know what I mean.”

Ace just laughed.

“Would you stop with the bullshit? Y’know what your real problem is? You’re so self-absorbed you’re paralyzed.”

“That’s not it.”

“What a girl acts like-- come off it. Like you haven’t put on a dress before now. Like you haven’t ever put on makeup outside of the concerts.”

“Ace--”

“You think that matters? You think that makes somebody a girl? It’s fucking window dressing.” Ace let out a sound halfway between a sigh and a grunt. “It’s fucking window dressing, and it’s not getting you anywhere.”

Ace was right about the last part, and Paul didn’t feel like arguing over the first. He crooked a finger towards Ace instead, the way he’d pick out girls from the Coop. Thinking of the way they’d hang onto a single gesture like that was warming and sickening all at once right now. But Ace was shaking his head at him.

“Uh-uh. You’re not in the mood, I can tell.”

“C’mon, Ace. I did promise you some hot lesbian sex.”

“You ain’t gonna do anything you think you’ll be bad at.”

Paul didn’t answer, though the insult burned. He scooted up, looking over at Ace. Skinny as he was, with the transformation getting rid of what little muscle mass he might have had, his body almost looked delicate, apart from the pouch of stomach fat. Baby Elvis still had the beginnings of that beer gut. Some weird, decidedly male part of Paul still felt protective, as he reached over on impulse and pushed Ace’s hair back behind his ear, his small, silver hoop earring catching the light.

“You ever been seduced, Ace?”

“I’ve been propositioned,” Ace hedged.

“That’s not the same.” Hand on Ace’s shoulder. Closer, taking stock. Ace’s nipples were hard, a pink flush starting to spread on his breasts. As Ace uncrossed his legs and shifted forward, Paul caught sight of a small damp spot on the sheets. “Seduction’s slow, right? Real slow. Someone buys you a drink--”

“No one’s ever bought me a drink, Paul--”

“Maybe they should’ve.” Paul coasted his hand down from Ace’s shoulder to one of his breasts, rubbing and massaging it, pinching the nipple. Ace bit his lip. That flush was on Ace’s neck now, too, spreading up to his face. Responding now after all. Paul realized, sharply, that his own cheeks were starting to warm up, that he was getting slick between his thighs just like he had that night with Gene. Wet when he was still only used to being hard. That was okay. That was okay for right now. “Maybe I should’ve.”

Ace started to laugh quietly.

“You’re just saying that ’cause you’re finally playing with a tit that isn’t yours.”

Paul let go only to take one of Ace’s wrists-- Ace’s eyes widened, but he didn’t move, as Paul placed Ace’s palm just below his breast.

“Feel that? Your heart’s beating like a rabbit’s right now.”

“It’s the beer,” Ace protested. Weakly.

He was starting to unravel. Paul could tell. It was cute, really, catching sight of a strange flicker in Ace’s eyes he’d only seen a handful of times before. That flicker when Ace was watching a particularly hot girl wander off with a bandmate or a roadie. I want that; that was what that look said. I-want-that. He wondered how much of that had to do with them both being chicks now, and how much had to do with Ace’s self-esteem being almost as torpedoed as Paul’s (maybe more-- after all, he’d just been thrown out by his wife), and then he decided it didn’t really matter. He tapped the back of Ace’s hand before reaching down between Ace’s thighs, fingers finding wet folds. Just a fingertip’s worth of a search before brushing up against the hard nub of his clit.

“Feel that?”

A slight jerk of his hips and a curse was all the answer Paul got back.

“Help me out, Ace,” he said softly. “Help yourself out, too.”

Ace went down like a dream, back sinking slowly onto the mattress, legs parting easily. Seeing himself naked from this vantage point was weird as hell, though in its way, seeing Paul was much stranger (mostly, it was the tits-- looking him straight in the face was normal enough). Deep down, he knew what Paul meant. The mismatch between the body and the mind. The sobering (haha) reality of what life might be like if the curse didn’t end. He’d thought about it a bit. He’d never be able to get coked up or plastered as a girl without running the risk of ending up raped or dead in an alley somewhere. That fact was more concerning than never playing a KISS concert again, and less concerning than never being with Jeanette again.

Then there was the hilarity of Paul trying to woo him like one of his second-rate actresses. The hell of it was that it had started to work.

Ace shut his eyes briefly, feeling Paul’s weight on him again, pressing heated kisses to warmer skin. His breaths hitched as he felt and then saw Paul’s mouth slip lower, down his neck, to the space between his breasts, to his stomach. Paul’s hands were smaller but still familiar enough, running down his sides before finally settling at his hips. Ace licked suddenly-dry lips, keenly aware of just how wet he was everywhere else. Damn. He’d said he’d eat Paul out before they tried their hand at anything else, but he wasn’t complaining about this turn of events. Not at all, as Paul nudged his thigh with his head. Ace raised it.

“Up. Let me feel you.”

It was still a second before Ace realized what he meant. He raised both legs, resting them against Paul’s back. Oh. God, this was a nice view. Paul practically hemmed in by him. Big doe eyes and pouty lips, framed by that mass of curly hair. A pretty guy made for a pretty girl, imagine that. Well. Whether Paul was a chick or a guy, Ace could get hot for a sight like him between his legs any day.

His breaths were sharp and ragged as soon as Paul started to lick. Not tentatively, like Ace had half-expected, but full and firm, going from the edge to the center, dragging long, thick stripes along his inner thighs first before meeting his soaking wet folds. Slipping inside him, then flicking against his clit. Soft little sounds from Paul’s throat as he began to suck lightly on that little bundle of nerves. Jesus. His whole body felt like a live wire. His legs wobbled against Paul’s back, hands sinking into Paul’s scalp.

“C’mon, c’mon…” He wasn’t really guiding Paul’s head around so much as tugging his hair as the sensations started to mount. It’d come on a bit faster when Paul had fingered him to orgasm earlier. Speaking of… “Gimme a hand, too, Paulie, please…”

Paul’s lapping and sucking slowed, then stopped abruptly. His fingers slid between Ace’s folds– fuck, Ace just felt so opened up, so damn determined to be filled– slipping and spreading and crooking just enough to push Ace over the edge again. No cry this time; his limbs just stiffened up before going lax. Even the hands in Paul’s hair drooped as his breathing slowly started to return to normal.

It wasn’t better coming as a girl, Ace decided later, just different. There was a nice, pleasant haze to everything as he came down; he didn’t feel sapped the way he normally would after a sober, or mostly-sober orgasm. He let his hands slide out of Paul’s hair and rest on either side of him, legs drifting from Paul’s back to the mattress, and then Paul shifted, sort of sitting up. His eyes were heavy lidded and needy, so dark that Ace could barely find the pupils.

“Ace,” Paul mumbled, voice suddenly husky, “could you… would you let me…”

Ace was only half-sure of what he was agreeing to when he nodded back. Paul straddled his bare thigh– oh, he was wet, he was soaking as he rocked up against him, back and forth, hips moving in quick, insistent jerks, breasts bouncing just a little. Ace was reminded, suddenly, of those old nude paintings in art class of those girls with long, dark curls and wild eyes. Waterhouse, Rosetti, all of them. Maybe it was a more flattering comparison than Paul deserved. Probably. Paul was a griper and not quite as hot as he thought he was. And contagious to boot. But it didn’t matter. Ace’s pulse was speeding up again just at the sight and feel of him, especially as he watched Paul start to gnaw his lip, biting back small groans. God–

“Cut that shit out,” Ace said suddenly. “Let’s fuck.”

Paul didn’t hesitate too much. Just a dry sort of smirk that didn’t suit the sweat beading on his forehead and between his breasts and the need burning up inside him, because it was the same for him. Just that, and two sardonic words.

“With what?”

“With what we got.”

Paul shifted off Ace’s thigh. Ace spread his legs wide again and angled his hips up as Paul maneuvered between them, straddling him properly this time, hip to hip. Bearing down on him completely. Fitting against him completely, pussy against his own– Paul started to rub and grind again, his hips finding a new rhythm, one that was finally giving Ace more than a nice view and damp sheets, one that was getting him off. Ace couldn’t help but wriggle, pushing up from the bed, trying to align himself just so. The sensation, the pressure, was good, though not nearly as direct as his fingers. Paul was thrusting and rubbing against him like he still had a dick. It was almost cute.

“You’re making me do all the work here,” Paul grunted after awhile, though not too unpleasantly. Ace just grinned back, reaching up to grope at Paul’s breasts.

“You look real good doing it.”

“Oh, shut up.”

Ace pinched Paul’s nipple in response, gratified at Paul’s little reactionary twitch. He’d let up some, stopped grinding for a minute. There was enough space between them for Ace to run his fingers down from Paul’s breasts to his stomach, and finally between his slick thighs, damp with both their juices. Paul’s eyes went a little wide as Ace began to stroke.

“That okay, Paulie?”

“Y-yeah. Keep going.”

Ace nodded. At some point, Paul had ended up braced against him, holding himself up with one hand against Ace’s shoulder. That hand was pushing hard now, wobbling. Paul looked endearingly lost in want now, overcome as Ace worked him over with his fingers, savoring every cry, every wiggle of his hips. Paul was into pressure more than penetration, he found. That suited Ace fine, rubbing and stroking along his folds, easing those sharp screams out of him as effortlessly as guitar riffs.

He wasn’t too surprised when Paul’s grip on his shoulder faltered and he collapsed on top of him. Ace kept going, hand now sandwiched a bit awkwardly, but Paul just grabbed both his shoulders and-- rolled him over.

“Hey, what was that for?”

“You’ve been on your back way too long.”

Ace made a feeble effort to flip their positions back-- mostly because he liked the easy access to Paul’s breasts-- only to stop fairly quickly. Paul probably had at least ten pounds on him, but more importantly, Paul had started rutting his hips against his still hand. He was close. It wouldn’t take much now.

“Okay. Okay.” He shifted, cupping his hand around Paul’s pussy, fingers pressing his folds in deliberate, warm strokes, mouth pressing a few kisses and a few more words against Paul’s throat. “I’ve made you work for it enough, girlie. Let’s see you come.”

#kiss the band #kiss fanfiction #ace frehley #paul stanley #sexswap #ace frehleyxpaulstanley

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