#carmy doing the most in front of marcus

[unladyboss]

CARMY DOING THE MOST IN FRONT OF MARCUS: SYDCARMY

Was it ABSOLUTELY necessary for Carmy to have this conversation with Sydney on Marcus' first day back from Copenhagen?

Sydney didn't even know he was even back till she saw him.

All of a sudden here comes Carmy with DEXTROSE no less, yelling CORNER, invading their conversation. Not one word about Copenhagen mind you

It's giving: 'see how well WE vibe Marcus?'

'she's in sync with ME Marcus '

'you're not the only one she talks personal stuff with Marcus'

CARMY? Sir? Is everything ok?

[alisonsfics]

his little superstar

pairing: carmy berzatto x reader

summary: you’re a local singer in chicago. the bear crew ends up at one of your shows, and carmy is absolutely speechless the moment he lays eyes on you.

word count: 1.5k

warnings: awkward and bashful carmy that will make you MELT

“Do we really have to go to this thing?” Carmy complained. He had been convinced forced to go out to a bar by his friends. “C’mon, you need to get out. You spend too much in the kitchen screaming at us.” Richie added. So, that was how he ended up in a line outside a bar with Richie, Sydney, Marcus, Natalie, and Pete.

“Isn’t there supposed to be some singer here tonight?” Sydney asked, looking over at Nat.

“Oh, yeah. I think I saw a poster that said that. I saw her here last week. This friend from high school invited me for her birthday. She was really good though. Her songs were great.” Nat started to tell Sydney.

Carmy started to zone out, thinking about all the other places in the world he could be. Once every month, Richie made an effort to drag Carmy to some party or bar. If not, Carmy wouldn’t get out at all. If Carmy had it his way, he’d basically live at the restaurant.

When they finally made it inside the bar, Carmy rushed to the bar to order a drink. He’d barely gotten his drink when Nat and Sydney pulled him over to a high-top table that they found. He was already mentally doing the math on how long he needed to stay before he could leave early.

He was brought out of his thoughts when he heard Nat start cheering. He looked over his shoulder and saw you walk onto the stage. The last thing he was thinking about was leaving early.

He didn’t know what he expected, but you weren’t it. You caught him by surprise, and he felt a smile slowly start to form.

Carmy didn’t realize his mouth was hanging open until Richie elbowed him in the side. “Close your mouth. You’ll catch flies.” Richie teased, noticing the way that Carmy was drooling over you.

“Oh shut up,” Carmy said, rolling his eyes at Richie.

Throughout the show, you made eye contact with Carmy a few times. Every time you met his gaze his cheeks instantly turned bright red.

He stuck out to you.

Most people were drinking and chatting with their friends, blissfully ignoring your presence. Some were silently swaying to the music. Not Carmy. He had his eyes glued to you.

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t playfully bat your eyelashes at him during some of the more flirtatious lyrics you sang.

After you finished your last song, you winked at Carmy before thanking the crowd and leaving the stage.

“Carmy’s got a crush.” Nat said in a singsong voice. Carmy’s cheeks were bright red. Richie slung his arm around Carmy’s shoulders. “Oh, you totally do, cousin,” Richie said, laughing at Carmy’s embarrassment.

“You all are children. I hope you know that.” Carmy said, pulling away from Richie and heading out the front door. He walked outside the bar and pulled out his pack of cigarettes.

He quickly lit one and tried to distract himself from the nagging that was waiting for him when he went back inside.

The stage door beside him swung open, causing him to jump backwards. “Oh, shit. I’m so sorry. I didn’t think anyone would be out here.” The voice quickly apologized.

Carmy looked up and realized it was you. Every coherent thought left his brain. When Carmy realized he hadn’t replied, it was too late to say anything.

You noticed how timid he was. His eyes were glued to the ground, and he hadn’t said a word. “So, did you like the show? I saw you in there.” You asked him, as though he wasn’t overly aware that you’d been watching him all night.

“Oh yeah yeah— it was good. I mean…just wow, you were great.” Carmy said, quickly mumbling through the words.

He was too busy avoiding eye contact to notice the smile on your face. You definitely thought Carmy was cute.

“I don’t think I’ve ever gotten such a raving review before.” You playfully teased him. Carmy finally looked up at you. He was partly shocked he hadn’t scared you away yet.

“Sorry,” he said, sheepishly. You took a step closer to Carmy, testing the waters. He didn’t move away. “Don’t be. It’s cute,” you said, subconsciously twirling your hair around your finger.

Carmy felt like his skin was on fire. You were looking at him. He felt like all of a sudden he couldn’t remember how to breathe.

“I’m Y/N, by the way,” you said, sticking your hand out. He quickly switched his cigarette into the other hand, so he could shake your hand. “I’m Carmy.” He said, giving you a small smile.

“Oh, shit. You’re the guy. The Bear guy.” You said, remembering seeing his name in a newspaper. If it was possible, he started blushing even more. “Yep, that’s me. Have you been? To the restaurant, I mean,” he asked you.

He started worrying about the possibility of you having already gone to the restaurant and seeing him in one of his arguments with Richie.

“No, I haven’t had the chance yet. I don’t know a lot about food. I feel like I wouldn’t be able to truly appreciate it, but maybe if I had someone to teach me and explain it to me…” you suggested, giving Carmy a smile.

His jaw dropped, and his cigarette almost fell out of his lips. “Wait…me?” He asked, feeling like he was definitely in a dream. You giggled at his shock. “I mean, you are the chef.” You said, nudging him.

“Just to be clear, like a date?” He asked.

“That’s up to you, Romeo,” you said, brushing a piece of his hair behind his ear. You watched him shiver as you touched him.

“Can I umm…get your number?” He nervously asked you. You quickly grabbed a pen out of your purse. “Took you long enough,” you said, giggling at him.

You grabbed his hand and quickly scribbled your number on the back of his hand. He stared at it for a few seconds. Carmy was having trouble processing any of this conversation.

“You’re really pretty.” Carmy said, feeling a bit braver but not a lot.

“Thank you. That’s really sweet. You’re also very pretty.” You said, giving his hand a quick squeeze.

Carmy dropped his cigarette and stomped on it. “I should probably go back in. I don’t want to keep you.” He said, starting to walk back towards the front door.

“Hang on a second, pretty boy,” you called after him, stopping him in his tracks. He turned around to face you, confused and nervous. “You forgot something.” You said, taking a few steps towards him.

He instantly checked his pockets. You grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him in to kiss you. It took him a second to kiss you back, having to process his initial shock. Once he kissed you back, he was still too nervous to touch you.

“I’m not going to break, I promise,” you teased him. You grabbed both his hands and moved them to wrap around your waist. He tightly held onto your waist and didn’t let go. You pulled him back into the kiss, letting your fingers run through his hair. He lightly hummed against the kiss, causing you to smirk.

You pulled out of the kiss. “You better call me.” You jokingly warned him.

“Don’t think I could forget if I tried,” Carmy said, as you headed back inside through the stage door.

He let out a sigh and raked his fingers through his now-messy hair. “She’s perfect,” he mumbled to himself. He took a few deep breaths before heading back inside.

“Ay, he’s back. We were starting to think you left, Carm.” Nat said, as Carmy rejoined their group.

“Holy shit,” Richie said, staring at Carmy in shock. Carmy froze, having no idea what Richie was talking about. “What?” Carmy asked, cluelessly.

Richie just chuckled at Carmy’s clear confusion. “Who were you outside with?” Richie asked, smirking at him. Carmy’s eyes went wide. “What—uhh what do you mean?” Carmy lied.

“So, that’s your own lipstick that you’re wearing?” Richie asked. Carmy realized what he meant and started furiously trying to wipe your lipstick off his lips, causing the whole group to start laughing. “So who was it?” Nat asked. Carmy refused to even look her in the eyes.

Then, Sydney spotted something on his hand as he tried to remove the lipstick. She grabbed his wrist and flipped his hand over. They all saw your name scribbled on his hand next to a phone number.

“Oh, shit. You got yourself your own little superstar, cousin?” Richie said, in shock.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Carmy said, pulling his hand away from Sydney. Carmy knew what teasing awaited him for the rest of the night. “I’m not gonna lie, I’m impressed. I didn’t think you’d be able to pull that off” Nat teased him.

Carmy wasn’t offended. He also was left wondering how he managed to get your phone number.

taglist: @laurakirsten0502 @miraclesoflove @nathaliabakes @millipop18 @lillyssh-tposts @shyinadarkplace @vanteguccir @missroro @guacam011y @sw33t-cupid @ice-dtae @leyannrae @sia2raw @nyx2021 @just-a-littlebit-of-everything @shyconversationalbookworm @shadowhuntyi @visenyaverse @ruzannetheseahorse @superdeath @wandaswifeyforlifey @spookyqueen @mcuswhore @princess-evans-addict @n3ssm0nique @peakascum @cjand10 @namsey1987 @supernaturalstilinski @stephv213 @warriormirkwood @one-sweet-gubler @narliesstuff @bibissparkles @stupiidfrogs @navs-bhat @mattsfavbigtitties @the-sylver-dragon @0-n-1-x

Let me know if you want to be added to my taglist for all my imagines or for a specific character/fandom!!

[angelcakestarlet]

salvatore

richie jerimovich x reader - richie makes carmy regret hiring the cute young waitress

wrote dis quick, messy, nd did not look over it but enjoy! :>

"so um look, natalie is going to be training you this week alright" carmy informs you as he sifts through a pile of papers scattering his desk. "you ever serve before?", "for a few months yeah, it's been getting me through college so" you twiddle your thumbs nervously. the restaurant was certainly... intimidating? going to school in chicago you had stopped by a couple times for lunch or drunk off your ass after the club. even while slurring your words you could remember how fucking good that sandwich was. even if most of it was puked up in the bushes out front.

"yo, cousin!" an abrasive voice comes stumbling through carmy's office door without warning, "sugar is out here telling me some bullshit about you hiring servers? look we don't need that shit. a sandwich comes out i fucking hand it to them, boom. why are you gonna pay some dipshit to do it for me?". you turn around to face the loud voice, being met with a tall, tan, buzzcut typical line cook with a deep accent. "jesus fucking christ, one of these 'dipshits' is standing in front of you richie." carmy yells back, obviously pained to have you witness that. "ah shit-" richie steps back to get a full length view of you, taking you in. his gaze felt like an intrusion. "i'm sorry, doll, richie jerimovich." he envelopes your hand in his calloused and rough one, introducing himself. "you know what i'm sorry, cousin, anyone with a set of eyes would hire her too" he snickers, with his hand still atop yours he takes his eyes away from you to acknowledge carmen. "cousin, get the fuck out, you fucking creep!" signaling for the door. "oh my god" richie sighs dramatically, "i'm stating the fucking obvious alright, you need marcus to come in here to tell you the same thing? yo, marcus!" carmen rushes to shove richie out the door, "i'm sorry, i couldn't help myself! look, you're beautiful, sweetheart!" he lets out one last compliment. you giggle to yourself and the man making a spectacle of himself.

carmen shuts the office door and sighs, rubbing his forehead with his tired hand. "i'm sorry, he's... he's a fucking jagoff." you appreciate the apology, but having worked in a restaurant has you accustomed to the snickers and comments from line cooks and customers alike. most of the girls usually brush it off, leaving them disgusted and a distaste for the job for the next few hours. but, your guilty pleasure has become using it to your benefit. free food from cooks, more money from tips, etc. you're sure you could work richie to your benefit just the same. "don't worry about it, he seems... nice" your ease settles carmy and he snickers, "you could say that i guess".

you follow natalie around the restaurant for the next few hours as she takes you through the front of the house and back, introducing you to everyone and all the standards. when five o clock hits, she lets you go, handing you an apron, a t-shirt. and a name tag. thanking her and setting out to find the back alley for a quick ciggy. you find richie lighting a cigarette in the dimly lit alley, "can i bum a cigarette?" you sit down beside him, smelling the smoke clinging to his shirt. "its your first day and you're asking me for shit?" he looks over at you and you notice his evident wrinkles, veins in his neck, and tired eyes. "pretty please?" you look up at him, turning your whole body to face him with a sweet smile on your face. he rolls his eyes playfully, "you know what you're doing huh?" he says as he pulls one more cigarette from its box. "open." you scrunch your eyebrows, confused at his request. his eyes shift to your lips, taking two fingers and tapping your cheek signaling for you to open your mouth. "come on," you separate your lips and he places a cigarette between them, lighting it swiftly. you feel your cheeks get warm, from the cigarette or from his words you don't know (yes you do). "thank you" you say quietly, still stunned a bit. "you know you're gonna ruin that sweet face smoking" he coughs through the lit cigarette. "oh are you telling me what to do now, richie?" you lean back, eyes entranced by the way his hands make the cigarette almost look like a lollipop stick. "a girl like you is probably looking for someone to tell her what to do, sweetheart". as you're trying to figure out whether that just pissed you off or turned you on, carmy bursts through the back door. "cousin, what the fuck are you doing?! we need you in the kitchen, now please! and leave the new girl alone, jesus" carmy yells as richie stomps on what's left of his cigarette and puts his hands up in defense. "i'm coming, fuck off. it was a pleasure, babe" he shakes your hand and makes his way inside. you peer at the closed door, listening to the muffled argument carmy and richie have in front of it. great first day.

[aliensupastar]

not wrong, but not right

Rating: Mature

Pairing: Carmy Berzatto/GN!Reader

Word Count: 2.5k

Summary: You do your best to keep your head down at your job. When that doesn't work, Carmy's there for you anyways.

Part II Part III

Warnings: angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, depiction of an eating disorder, vent fic, fainting, hospitals, slightly one-sided romantic feelings?

A/N: PLEASE mind the warnings! as mentioned, this is a vent fic with a reader that has an eating disorder. mostly made for my own comfort/self-indulgence, but i thought i’d post it anyways. title inspired by "ode to the mets" by the strokes, gif by heardchef <3

All things considered, your job could be worse. Honestly, you feel like you lucked out a bit, your hiring process being expedited due to Marcus being the one to recommend you to his boss, given that they needed new workers for their newly opened restaurant — you knew it was a good idea to stay in touch with that guy after high school. 

Working front-of-house with Richie could get overwhelming, to say the least. Dealing with him your first few weeks took a lot of adjustment, and a lot of holding back from calling him every foul name in the book. But it all smoothened out eventually. Your coworkers were nice, the pay was decent, the train ride was short. And your boss… well, it didn’t hurt that your boss was nice to look at. 

You’re a little embarrassed by it. You spend a little too much time looking at him when you’re supposed to be focused on your prep, and you always stop by the back office to say goodnight before you clock out, but you think you’ve kept it subtle enough to go unnoticed. You’ve gotten a little too good at that, going unnoticed. 

“Need me to do anything else before I head out?” You lean against the doorway of the tiny office as you say it, backpack already on and your jacket draped over your arms. Carmy’s sitting in his desk chair, bent over some paperwork and looking a little surprised at your question.

“Uh, no, we’re good here. But if you wanna stick around for a bit, Syd and I are makin’ something out of the food we were gonna have to throw out tonight, you could take some of it home with you. Save time on dinner.” He offers with a small smile. You hate the temptation that immediately springs up in you, because you want so badly to take him up on it. The smell of food in the kitchen is always mouthwatering, and when Carmy’s making dishes instead of being on expo, it somehow smells even better. 

You’ve never even tried Carmy’s cooking. You work for one of the most excellent chefs in the country, and you can’t even answer with an honest opinion when people ask you if the food at the restaurant is good. 

Despite all that, you shake your head, using the excuse of wanting to catch your train before it gets dark out, and he takes that easily. 

“Heard.” He nods, looking like he might want to say more. “Well, thank you, for showin’ up today. You were great.”

“Thank you, chef.” You reply, unable to stop yourself from smiling at the praise. “Goodnight, Carm.” 

Before you can change your mind, you turn and walk away, clocking out quickly, but you still hear him say “Night!” from behind you. 

When you make it onto a train car, safely on your way back to your apartment, you finally let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding. Maybe some other day, you think to yourself. It’ll be worth it to try the food some other day.

It had been one incident. That’s what you swore to yourself: one incident, one slip up, and it would never happen again. Besides, you think — or rather, hoped — Carmy’s forgotten about it. It was months ago, and things moved quickly in the restaurant, no time to dwell on things, especially not for the guy who has to run it. 

You’d gone out to the back alley of The Bear for a short break. You’d seen the others do it a million times, mostly for smoke breaks, but you didn’t need a cigarette. You needed to sit down, give yourself a chance to catch your breath as your vision started to swim and your ears felt like they had been filled with cotton. And, well, usually you didn’t need breaks like that, usually you didn’t allow yourself to take them like the others did, but there was a lull between the lunch and dinner rush and Richie didn’t need your help in the front, so you quietly slipped out the back door while hastily putting your coat on. Just this once, you let yourself slump against the wall, sliding down until you were sat on the pavement. You don’t even remember your consciousness fading, just your heartbeat thrumming in your ears while your eyes slipped shut. 

Carmy found you like that. He had barely noticed your extended absence, too busy catching up on more paperwork in his office before the dinner crowd poured in, and he decided he needed a smoke. It had almost startled him when he finally did notice you sitting there, your presence so quiet it took him a few seconds, before he also noticed you were asleep. He couldn’t blame you for that. He could use a fuckin’ nap these days. 

Still, he walked over and leaned down, nudging your shoulder with his hand to rouse you, muttering a quiet “hey.” But you didn’t wake, not even after a couple more pokes. And then he started to worry. 

When you came to, it was because of Carmy’s hands on both your cheeks, gently patting your face, his blue eyes wide with panic. You flinched a bit, startling at the realisation of what you'd done, swearing under your breath, and that was enough for Carmy to step back. 

“You okay?” He asked, and you nodded quickly on instinct. 

“I’m- fine. Yeah, I’m okay.” You stumbled over your assurance, knowing he didn’t quite believe you from the way he raised his eyebrows questioningly. 

“What are you doing out here? You’re freezin’.” You bite your lip, embarrassed at being caught a bit red-handed, unconscious with your body temperature dropping. You’re usually better than that. Better at hiding behind smiles, concealer over your dark under-eyes, and excuses of being more of a big breakfast person to get out of eating family meals with the rest of your coworkers every afternoon. 

“Just tired. I’m fine.” You reply, hoping that’d be enough of an excuse, because everyone here is a little exhausted all the time. You pull yourself to your feet once he stands up from crouching in front of you, trying to convince him to just brush it off. “I'm good to keep going.”

You almost think that he buys that, before he stares at you a little bit longer, and you try not to shrink under his gaze. 

“People who are fine usually don’t take five minutes to wake up.” He says. You don’t have a comeback. 

“Yes, chef,” is the only thing you can say as you turn and walk back into the kitchen quickly, avoiding eye contact with him and making it through the rest of the day without needing another break, and without giving him a chance to talk to you again before you clock out that day. You don’t even stop by the office to say goodnight.

It was months ago, one time, and it wasn’t supposed to happen again. Not at work, not in the middle of a rush. That was just your luck, you guess, that you would get caught up working front-of-house, running between taking orders with Richie and handing out plates whenever you heard somebody yelling “Hands!” in the back, all while you hadn’t had anything more than water and a coffee in the morning in… fuck, you lost count of the days again. 

You pause to take deep breaths and sips of water when you can, but you guess it wasn’t often enough, because one second you’re picking up plates from the expo station and the next you’re collapsing, taking the dishes with you. 

When you wake up in a hospital bed afterwards, Carmy’s there. Slumped over in a plastic chair that can’t be comfortable, clad in a familiar checkered wool jacket. He’s asleep, but he’s here, and you don’t have the heart to wake him. You have no idea how long you’ve been out, but your heart fills with equal parts guilt and gratitude at the fact that he’s likely been sat by your side for hours. 

You turn your attention away from Carmy for a second, taking in the rest of your surroundings. The cotton hospital gown, the uncomfortably firm mattress beneath you, the beeping of an EKG to your left, and to your right- 

Your breath catches when you see it. An IV bag, steadily dripping fluid into you through the needle in your arm, innocuous but sinister. 

“Shit.” You breathe out. Now you’re panicking. Now you’re cursing yourself for not being able to hold it together long enough to get through a busy hour, and reaching for the bag to get a better look at the text that you hope and pray details it’s nutritional information, but you quickly snatch your hand back when the privacy curtain is peeled away by a nurse checking up on you. 

The sound of the curtain rings scraping against metal wakes Carmy, and the nurse smiles apologetically before turning to you and explaining what you already guessed: you're in ketosis, you fainted due to low blood sugar levels and a high-stress environment, you should take it easy and eat when you get home. You’ll be discharged as soon as your IV bag is finished. Fuck. You nod and smile along with everything she says, lying through your teeth about merely skipping breakfast that morning and thanking her for her time until you can get her to leave you alone again. 

Well, alone with your boss, who’s silent through the whole conversation.

You wait for a minute after the nurse leaves, before turning to your right and carefully lifting yourself onto your knees to tug the IV bag off its hook and flip it over, desperately scanning the printed text. You can’t even bring yourself to care that Carmy’s there anymore, even when you can feel his eyes on you, witnessing your silent panic. You can’t help it. 

You swear under your breath once you find what you’re looking for. When you do the math in your head, it’s- fuck- it’s hundreds of calories that they’re pumping into you. You hang the bag up and sit back, defeated, unable to do anything but fiddle with the thin blanket draped over your legs and curse yourself for not being more careful. 

“You wanna tell me what’s goin’ on?” Carmy asks gently after a few minutes, breaking the silence. You don’t know why that question makes your eyes fill with tears, even as you shake your head vehemently. 

“Nothing’s going on, Carm. I’m okay.” You tell him, trying to keep your voice neutral. He pauses for a moment, making you think that maybe, just maybe, he’ll drop it. 

“I know what ketosis means, chef.” You hate him a little bit for catching on. You were so sure you were flying under the radar, you could’ve kept your habits unnoticed if you had just not fainted again.

“Well, like I said, I skipped breakfast. I didn’t have time this morning.” 

“Then why didn’t you eat family with us instead?” He insists.

“Because-“ 

“Why aren’t you eating, chef?” 

You know he’s just concerned, as your boss, he can’t have you passing out at work so much. But you also can’t help the irritation that rises in you at his persistence. 

“Fuck you, Carmen,” is all you can come back with, and he scoffs. “I felt weird intruding on family when I never eat with you guys normally. There. I’m sorry me not eating this one time got in the way of my job, it won’t happen again.” You try to explain, but you already know he’ll see through that.  

“One time, along with the other time you fainted out back, and all the times you’ve refused to even taste a new dish we’re tryin’ out.” Your head snaps up, and you finally take a real look at him, taken aback by the fact that he would even be bothered to remember all that. He meets your irritation with nothing but softness in his eyes. “Talk to me.” He pleads. 

You can’t take it. You tear up again, wanting, needing to fight against the temptation to tell him everything because, God, you don’t know how much more you can take. 

“I can’t.” There’s no hiding your emotion anymore, your voice thick with tears. “Carmy- I- I can’t take it.” 

“Take what?” He asks, his voice still gentle.

“Any of it!” You’re full on sobbing now, desperately trying to wipe away your tears with the back of your hand. 

“Hey,” He almost coos, standing to move closer to your bed and wrapping his arms around you, bringing your head to rest on his firm chest, and you let him. You don’t object when his hand moves to pet the back of your head while you gasp for breath through your sobs, and he doesn’t object when your hands land on his back, clinging to the white t-shirt under his coat and relishing in the warmth radiating from him. 

He doesn’t push you to say more. He holds you while you calm down, your breath evening out eventually, enough to speak straight. 

“I can’t tell you, Carmy.” You finally say, practically whimpering. “I can’t get the help you’ll want me to get, because- I can’t stop. I don’t know how, I- I don’t know another way anymore.” 

He doesn’t reply, at first, taking in a deep breath while he lets your words hang in the air. 

“Okay.” He says quietly. “I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to do.” You’re relieved at his acquiescence. You don’t think you can take fighting with your boss on top of everything else you have going on. 

“Thank you.” You whisper. 

“Can I ask you to promise me something?” He continues, making you pause, before nodding hesitantly. “Let me look out for you. You don’t have to tell me anything, just- don’t keep going at it alone. You’ll just end up back here again. Or, y’know, half-breathing and unconscious in the back alley of my restaurant. Trust me, I know.” 

You contemplate his words for a bit. You know he’s right, and you know you don’t want to end up in the hospital again. And maybe you owe him this one thing, for being here, for not pushing you like you expected him to, for not firing you after you interrupted his whole day with your bullshit. 

“Okay,” You say. “I promise.” He breathes what you think is a sigh of relief, before leaning down and pressing his lips to the top of your head. You stay like that for a little while longer, silent except for the beeping EKG machine and your occasional sniffle. 

“You’re freezing, you know that?” He says suddenly, and it makes you giggle; you haven’t held anyone close in a while, not long enough for them to notice you’re always cold to the touch. You know he’s smiling too, feeling his lips against your hair. 

“Lookin’ out for me might mean letting me borrow this jacket every once in a while.” 

“I’m okay with that.”

[faerygrant]

carmen berzatto in a relationship thoughts and headcanons

summary: just my personal opinion of how I think carmen would realistically act in a relationship.

୨୧ he doesn’t use pet names often, maybe not until the fourth or fifth month when he’ll occasionally start to use “babe” or “baby” but even then he mostly just uses your name.

୨୧ he isn’t into pda, he enjoys hand holding and will proudly hook an arm around your shoulder but that’s the furthest he goes, especially around his staff.

୨୧ he’s not ashamed at all, he just doesn’t enjoy sharing his private life with others. therefore he doesn’t really rush into telling the staff or his family about his relationship.

୨୧ is childish and will project his anger, insecurities and faults onto you when he’s upset, which in a twisted berzatto way means he loves you. ( something he learned from his mother and mikey)

୨୧ doesn’t really say I love you very often, but he shows it in his actions. It’s clear from the way he’s set on taking care of you through random acts of kindness.

୨୧ can be the biggest sap when he wants to, bouquet of flowers, desserts baked specifically for you from Marcus, michelin star home cooked meals and cute little notes he leaves around.

୨୧ big listener! If you mention wanting/ liking even the most substantial things Carmy remembers. Literally a cute bra you saw online that was a bit pricy, you mention it in passing and the next week it’s arrived in a fancy box at the front door.

nsfw

୨୧ he very rarely initiates sexual encounters, specifically for the first few months because he never wants to make you uncomfortable, no matter how many times you assure him you’re not.

୨୧ isn’t very vocal in bed besides a few “fucks” “shits” or the occasional grunt and groans.

୨୧ he’s a big giver, always asking if you feel good, if you’re close and if you came. doesn’t let you leave the room unsatisfied.

୨୧ he secretly likes when you cry from pleasure but freaks out the first time you do, because he genuinely thinks he hurt you (his biggest nightmare)

୨୧ enjoys intimate sex rather than rough, loves taking his time with you and if he’s feeling good will whisper quiet words of affirmation to you.

୨୧ loves it when you take his dangling chain into your mouth, absolutely drives him insane.

୨୧ also enjoys letting you take the lead most of the time, he’s not a dominant person in bed.

[collecting-stories]

Strawberry Gazpacho - Carmen Berzatto

A/N: Some people asked for a part 2 of Blueberry BBQ, so I decided to stay on the fruit trend!

Summary: Reader and Carmy continue to bond over food.

The Bear Masterlist

✰ ✰ ✰ ✰

"What is this?" You asked, staring down at the bowl Carmy had placed on top of your papers. You were in the back office, trying to work on the week's payroll when he'd come in, told you that you needed a lunch break, and placed a plate down in front of you. 

"Try it," he urged, wringing his hands in his apron and looking like an eager little kid. 

"Carm-"

"Try it," he repeated and you obliged. Regardless of what it was you knew you would like it. Carmy made it, which immediately meant it couldn't be bad, but also, Carmy made it. For you, more specifically. You took the proffered spoon and dipped it into the bowl, surprised when you pressed it to your lips and found that it was, in fact, cold.

"Gazpacho?" You asked, after a second bite.

You had told him last night, while watching TV and letting him finish the tupperware of tofu feta that's you'd made the day before, that you hated gazpacho. You loved soup and tomato was your favorite; a nice, roasted red-pepper tomato, heavy on the garlic, that you'd perfected over the years. But no gazpacho. You couldn't get used to the fact that it was cold. 

"You like it?" He asked in a way that suggested he might genuinely be worried that you would tell him it was horrible.

"I mean, it's the best gazpacho I've ever had," you took another bite as proof, "it's spicy."

"But?"

You weren't sure if he was fishing for a compliment or trying to convert you onto a food you held in disdain but you assumed that if he wanted someone to tell him that he was a skilled chef he would've gone to Syd or Marcus with his cold soup.

"It's cold soup Carmy, I just can't fuck with cold soup." You replied, "it's good though."

He reached for the spoon in your hand and dipped it into the bowl, trying some of the gazpacho that he had made. He nodded his head, as if to confirm that it was good, as if he didn't already know it would be.

"Should I like, fall over at your feet and tell you that you've converted me to gazpacho and it's the only thing I'll ever order for the rest of my life?" You teased, leaning an elbow on the desk. It felt completely natural to be this relaxed with him and yet, just weeks earlier, you'd been fretting over the idea of having him come over for Sunday dinner. 

He handed the spoon back and you took another experimental taste.

"I mean, you're still eating it," he pointed out, grinning. 

In no world would Carmy say that he was 'good with people'. If he wasn't saying the wrong thing then he was saying nothing at all (and that was also wrong). He wanted to spend more time with you, the most time he could afford outside of The Beef but the only way he really knew how to spend time with anyone was cooking. So he kept cooking for you, things you liked, things you hated but liked when he made them. He kept trying to find the perfect thing to say and the perfect recipe to go along with it, as if that would remedy his inability to tell you that he wanted more from whatever this situation currently was. You weren't dating but he wanted to be dating but he wasn't exactly the dating type (as far as having an actual open schedule went). 

"Touche," you replied, taking another bite. "I can't decide if I'll regret telling you this or not but my mom has a recipe for strawberry gazpacho that apparently my grandma used to make every summer."

"Strawberry?"

"I can already see the gears turning in your head Carmy," you laughed. 

He looked down at you, piercing blue eyes taking your measure, "can you get me the recipe?"

"Are you gonna make me eat it?" You practically pouted. 

He nodded, "yes."

You groaned and leaned back in the office chair, "god, the things I do for you Carmy." You sighed. "I'll text my mom for the recipe...I can pick stuff up on my way home, if you want. Or if you're all gazpacho'ed out-"

"No, tonight works." He agreed.

Before you could say anything else Marcus was calling Carmy back to the kitchen. He wiped his hands on his apron once more and push himself off the desk. Before he could pick up the bowl you put your hand over his, "I might try another bite." 

There were other things that Carmy could probably be doing with his evening. Catching up on sleep, working on the recipes that he and Syd had been spitballing for the updated menu, mending whatever semblance of a relationship he still had with Sugar. Instead he was looking forward to going to your apartment (which was leagues nicer than his shitty place) and cooking. He'd lived so long on white bread and peanut butter and chips and soft drinks and anything quick that he'd forgotten what it was like to cook just because he enjoyed cooking. Hell, he'd forgotten that he enjoyed it. The only thing, lately, that really felt like it brought that enjoyment back was standing in your kitchen.

"Rigoletto has taken up residence on the island and he refuses to move so...we're down some counter space," you said as soon as you opened the door to Carmy, moving aside to let him into your apartment. 

He stopped at the island, leaning over to pet Rigoletto, who half-heartedly rolled onto his side to give Carmy better access to his stomach. "Hey chef," he teased. He turned to look at you, still stroking the cat as he did, "strawberry gazpacho?" 

"I would just like to disclaimer that I don't think strawberries are going to improve my deep-seated hatred of gazpacho but-"

"I mean, you did eat most of the one I made earlier," Carmy pointed out as your mouth fell open in surprise. 

"Angel! What a snitch!" You laughed, "I can't believe he told you."

"Hey, it's my kitchen, I've gotta know what's going on." He followed you around the other side of the island, grabbing the notebook you had sitting on the counter and scanning over the recipe. You'd called your mom on the way home and asked for a copy of the recipe, which she'd gladly texted ("does this have something to do with that cute chef where you work?"). You'd picked up whatever ingredients you didn't already have at your house and set everything out for Carmy before he'd even gotten there. You felt a little silly, being so excited just to have him come over and cook with you (for you) when there was no real definition to what your relationship was. 

"Did you cook growing up? Like with your mom and stuff?" You asked, stealing a strawberry out of the plastic container. 

"No," Carmy shook his head, then amended his answer, "not really. My ma always told us to help but if we did she yelled at us for doing something the wrong way...it was better to just stay outta her way when she was in the kitchen. You?"

"Oh yeah, my mom's not like...the best chef in the world or anything but she loved trying new stuff. Anything we wanted we could ask for and she'd try to make it. And then as we got older we would have like, nights where one of us got to cook." You replied, "I like it but...I don't think I'm good at it."

"You are...I mean....not like, you've got potential." Carmy explained, blue eyes glancing up to meet you across the island and you smiled. 

"Thank you chef."

You left Carmy to the strawberry gazpacho and the chicken he'd brought over to make some dish you'd never heard of before while you got Rigoletto's dinner out. The cat had finally moved off the island and you sprayed it down with cleaner to at least give yourself a better chance of not picking white cat hair off your dinner plate. 

Carmy fit right into your kitchen, probably the whole apartment for that matter. It was something both of you had thought, more than once, but neither of you said anything about. He felt like he was waiting for something bad to come from all the good you had been supplying in his life recently. Bad news always felt like it was lurking around the corner for him, especially these days, and he didn't want to put everything in one basket. But being in your kitchen, in your space, felt good. It felt like he was supposed to be there. 

"Did you know," you were saying as you came back into the kitchen, leaning near him to look at the chicken he was searing on the stovetop, "that I didn't know what mortadella was before I started working at the Beef?" 

Carmy turned his head to watch you fish a piece of garlic out of the skillet and eat it whole, "Did you just?"

"It was cooked."

"It was a whole clove of garlic."

"I love garlic," you shrugged, dropping the fork in the sink, "but seriously, I had to google it cause I didn't know what Richie was talking about when he was trying to explain it."

"It's very Italian." Carmy replied. 

"You're very Italian." You grinned and he rolled his eyes.

"I am, yeah." And then, "I still can't believe you ate that."

"You act like you've never eaten garlic before."

"Not just shoved a whole clove in my mouth." He replied. 

"It tasted good." You shrugged, "I always use too much garlic. Like if a recipe says three cloves I use six."

"Yeah that's why I said you had potential." 

"Well now I just feel like that's your 'I don't wanna hurt your feelings' way of saying I'm actually shit at cooking." You replied. 

"Nah, if you were shit I'd tell you."

"Yeah but then who'd balance the books for you?" You teased, searching in the cabinet under the island for wine, "red or white?"

"Uh...white for this." Carmy replied.

You pushed the bottle of red you were holding back into the cabinet and went to the fridge, pulling out the Chardonnay you'd bought last week. You grabbed two glasses from the cabinet, handing him one once it was poured. 

"Is this the 'only white you'll drink' wine?" He asked, taking a sip. 

The last time he had come over to cook with you (for you) there had been a long discussion about different wines in which you'd explained that there was only one type of white that you liked. More accurately, one brand that made a chardonnay you didn't completely hate. 

"Yeah...they finally restocked!" You exclaimed, leaning against the counter, "the woman at the Wine and Spirits definitely thinks I'm an alcoholic though...I bought like, four bottles." 

Carmy shook his head, reaching a hand out for the bottle and splashing a little into the pan when you handed it to him. Kitchens were crowded and Carmy was more than used to working in an environment where people were constantly at each other's side or back or space but something about having you leaning there against the counter beside him was both extremely nerve-wracking and extremely comforting. 

He didn't say anything about it though, at least not until after you'd eaten dinner and were sitting on the couch avoiding the dishes. Then he blurted it out while you watched reruns of Murder, She Wrote with Rigoletto. "I always thought I would do stuff like this when I was younger."

"Watch 80's tv shows on a Tuesday night?" You asked.

"No," he laughed, "Just like...I don't know....you know, make dinner with someone. Or, I guess, not feel like my entire life was in a restaurant all the time."

"Well I'll always be happy to make dinner with you...or at least supply the wine while you make dinner." You replied, grinning at him.

"Yeah," he nodded his head slowly, as if convincing himself that what you were saying was true. 

"Yeah," you agreed.

[puppietooth]

let me preface this by saying i will love and adore and cherish s3 no matter happens. however, i will say — the one thing i want to see is carmy going out of his way to get back on sydney’s good side.

i’m talking begging for forgiveness, grovelling at her feet, bending over backwards for her.

imagine:

carmy gets out of that walk-in, sees the queasy look on her face, and is already drafting that notes app apology in his head. he tells her he’s sorry and that he fucked up and she tells him they managed to pull everything off without him but she cannot with his bullshit right now.

that hits him like a punch to the gut and, well, he gets it cause it’s definitely deserved.

but as the weeks go on, carmy tries to talk to her she only responds in shrugs, nods, and yes chefs. sydney goes home straight after service, after she helps with clean up, does not linger and talk in the office with him like they did before. carmy tries joking with her and she rolls her eyes more often than not. he asks her if she wants to work on the menu with him and she says no and he gets the feeling that she doesn’t even want to be alone with him anymore.

and that’s when he realizes — fuck. she’s so mad at him.

my girl is mad at me i want to die.

so? what else is carmy supposed to do but the most?

sydney comes in one morning and tells tina she was running late so she couldn’t stop by her favourite spot to get her morning latte. carmy overhears this and takes it upon himself to run to that spot, ten blocks over, to get her that latte. and when he gets back, sweetly and breathless, he gives it to her only to find out it’s the completely wrong order. but syd smiles, just a little, says a small thanks.

during family, he casually hints at the fact that he’s seeing a therapist now — says sorry chef i have therapy saturday afternoon when marcus asks if anyone would be down to go to the farmers market with him. because he needs her to know that he’s trying to get better. for himself, yes, but also for her.

his notifications are on and his phone is never on silent anymore — carmy vows to never miss a text or a call from her ever again.

carmy starts checking in with her about everything. when the walls need to be painted again he tells her, asks sydney if she’s okay with changing the floral arrangements but the bar, lets her know he’s ordering new aprons for the line cooks, runs tweets by her before posting them to the bear’s twitter account. and it gets to the point where syd has to tell him to chill — that she appreciates him not wanting to keep her in the dark, but some things just don’t need her approval. pats him on the shoulder and tells him it’s his restaurant, too.

it might come off as a bit showy but he tells her great work today, chef sydney after every service — because she is doing great work.

when sydney’s finally moving out of her dad’s place carmy is there, bright and early, moving her boxes into his car, trying to avoid the subtle stink eye her dad is giving him. again, deserved. he drives her out to her new place, helps her set everything up and lingers when she asks him if he wants coffee.

carmy shows up for her, everytime. he sets his own priorities aside, swaps them out for hers. sydney says jump and he asks how high?

it all comes to head on her birthday. before service he goes up to her and gives her a present — a scarf, fabric pink and decorated with prints of various different flowers. it’s soft and silky and he saw it on a mannequin in a window front while he was downtown a couple of weeks ago, immediately thought of her. she tells him it’s lovely and beautiful and she’ll wear it all the time but that he really didn’t have to — that he doesn’t have to keep trying to win her over, that she isn’t mad at him anymore, that she hasn’t been mad for a few weeks now, that she can see he’s trying.

then, sydney hugs him, strong and gentle at the same time, tells him — i see you, carmy.

whatever is supposed to happen after that does not happen because fak starts yelling about an exploding toilet from the room over so sydney scoffs and says she’ll go take care of it.

and it’s at that exact moment that carmy becomes aware of what he hasn’t been aware of but that has been there, right in front of him this whole time.

holy shit.

he likes sydney.

he likes her a lot.

[noellawrites]

Souvenir - Yandere!Luca x reader

summary: Luca just can't let his rivalry with Carmy go, so he leaves a permanent reminder inside of you. afab reader but no specified pronouns.

warnings: smut, baby-trapping, condom sabotage, forced breeding

You weren't even supposed to go to Copenhagen. The trip was booked for Marcus when his mother took a turn for the worse. So here you were, the recipient of a non-refundable flight, standing in front of Denmark's most renowned kitchen. As The Beef's only waitress, saying you had a lack of food prep knowledge was an understatement. But with Tina and Ebra back in school, the task was left to you.

—

"Carmy taught me everything I know about good service. Really, I owe everything to him. I thought he'd boot me after taking over The Beef but thank god he didn't," you rambled.

"Sounds like he means a lot to you," Luca spoke quietly as he prepped an example dessert.

"He's the best chef I've ever worked with. Maybe not as intense as your rival chef, but he definitely challenges me. For example, sending me here with no experience," you laughed, picking up a tub of diced almonds.

"Seems like a real bond," Luca said simply. He reached across to the other side of you and his tattoos crossed into your line of vision.

"He's like my mentor, brother, work husband and hero all in one. Actually, that sounds stupid when I say it out loud," you laughed nervously.

"I know what you mean. To be so consumed by someone's talent that you just want to seep into their skin," Luca agreed.

A comfortable moment of silence hung between you both as you kept working. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see him staring at you with an unreadable expression before he turned away to grab some dough.

—

"Your lips taste better than any dessert," Luca whispered in your ear as he traced his fingers down your stomach. Pleasure tickled down your spine and he pushed down your shorts, reaching into your panties and tracing your clit.

"Ah--ahh, Luca!" you moaned, and he clamped a hand over your mouth.

Through the dark, you could just make out his pepper tattoo on his hand, which oddly enough reminded you of Carmy. Come to think of it, the patchy placements of his tattoos reminded you a lot of Carmy's. And his entire apartment was bare just like Carmy's was, too. Even Luca's intense expressions sometimes mirrored Carmy's.

I really shouldn't be thinking of Carmy when I'm about to have sex with this hot pastry chef, you thought.

As Luca started pulling his boxers down, you held your hand out to stop him.

"Do you have a condom?" you asked, sitting up and looking around.

"Dresser, top drawer," he said, sounding a bit irked. You handed him the small plastic square and laid back down.

You could hear him ripping open the package with his teeth and stretching the condom over his cock when he suddenly pulled your panties down the rest of the way.

You were lost in pleasure as he dove into your pussy, licking and sucking with his expertly trained tongue.

—

Luca held you against him with his strong arms as you both reached orgasm together, a mess of sweat and pleasure and moans.

"Oh shit Luca, did you just cum in me?" you gasped, wriggling away from him as post-sex clarity struck you.

"The condom must've broken," he said, but you pulled away from him too quick and managed to see what he was trying to hide: the empty, fully intact condom next to him. His hard cock pulled out of you, covered in a mix of your cum, no condom on him at all.

"What the fuck, Luca?!"

"Stay here. With me."

Luca's kind eyes had turned dark, an ulterior motive lurking underneath the surface. You didn't know what he was up to, but you knew it couldn't be good.

You quickly gathered your clothes from the floor and tried to yank your pants on. Luca stood, still completely naked, and moved to stand in front of the door leading outside his flat.

"Move, I need to go pick up Plan B. I'm ovulating, you fucking asshole!"

"You're not leaving. Not until your flight."

"Oh my god, this is so fucked up! I-I barely even know you!" you cried.

"You knew me enough to let me fuck you," he laughed, pulling on his boxers. As much as you hated to admit it, he had stretched you better than anyone else had before.

"I hate you, Luca."

—

You took a Plan B when you got back to Chicago, but by then it was too late. Not only did you bring back three desserts for The Bear's new menu, but you also brought back a tiny baby in your stomach. A little bundle of cells forever tying you to the British pastry chef. You sobbed as you told Carmy, who then gave you the entire story about how he and Luca had met. Rivals, but Carmy was clearly more skilled, more talented, more ambitious.

But now, Luca had finally bested Carmy at something. He left you a permanent reminder, a souvenir from your travels, a big 'fuck you' to his former rival chef.

part two

[moments-on-film]

Moments on Film: The Bear Season 3

Now that I have had a few days to process and fully…..digest S3, I am back with my most visceral thoughts.

I must say, distance did not do anything to ameliorate how I felt about this season. There were some beautiful moments, I really enjoyed episode 1, for example, and I truly appreciated the opportunity to learn more about how Sydney comports herself as a leader, Marcus‘s beautifully inspired and fresh creativity as a chef, Tina’s journey, Natalie’s inner struggles, and more backstory on chef Luca.

What I am having so much trouble with this season, is Carmy. I knew this would happen. I knew S3 would be the belly of the beast, as I predicted 🔗 here , but it was still so hard to take in.

Those of you that have read my work know how much empathy I have felt for Carmy. I have rooted for him. I see how much help he desperately needs and I am always hoping he will find a way to course correct when he gets off track. Carmy ditching Sydney in S2 and lashing out at Richie in the finale felt like a punch to my gut. I was so hoping those two relationships would be nurtured this season but in fact they got worse.

I want to be clear, I have had so much compassion and empathy for Carmy and his emotional problems, due to the cycles of abuse he has had to endure. What I absolutely cannot excuse or reconcile this season is how his behavior and actions are hurting, stifling, and traumatizing those around him.

Another thing I really want to uplift is that yes, this is a show that emphasizes found family. But at the end of the day, this is a business, he is in a leadership position, and everyone who works there is an at-will-employee. In my opinion, Carmy has completely failed as a leader, on all fronts. He has never exhibited leadership skills, with consistency. And as supportive member of the “family”, real or otherwise, he is nowhere to be found. Carmy has actually created a hostile work environment that is legally actionable and litigious with his mood swings, verbal and physical abuse and erratic behavior.

It is a stone cold fact.

I was rooting so hard for Sydney and staff to walk out the door this season. That’s how bad his behavior is. Sydney deserves better, plain and simple. Everyone working at The Bear does. Another point I want to uplift is that while Christopher Storer created the show, it is his sister, Courtney, “Coco” Storer who is the chef on whom he based much of the plot. Courtney has also moved from Culinary Producer in seasons past of The Bear to Co-Executive Producer and even “Story By” credit on this season of the show.

There is something Courtney said a few years ago on a podcast that has stayed in the back of my mind because I always wondered if it would be used as a plot point for Sydney. She shared a story of a restaurant she worked at in Los Angeles. She was promoted to CDC, loved her team and really enjoyed working there. However, it was not all perfect. She was constantly burnt out and at a physical and emotional deficit due to the stress. She suffered panic attacks. She also shared that she was not officially a partner with a stake in the restaurant, and she felt like she needed to have her own back because at the end of the day, no one else did. Although it was a difficult life decision—-she quit.

Forget Michelin stars. If Carmy cannot create and maintain an environment people want to work in, with him, he will end up completely alone. It also may already be too late.

I understand this season is apparently in two parts, I understand that everything happens for a reason. What I can’t understand is how I am meant to root for a character that has contributed to Sydney having panic attacks, has hit Richie, has yelled at Marcus during what must be the worst time in his life and who was about to lose it on Tina if Sydney hadn’t stepped in, saved her, and saved him from himself. Completely unacceptable behavior.

Carmy needs professional help. I have said this many, many times before and I am going to say it again. Carmy. Needs. Professional. Help. He cannot continue to let his triggers and emotions be his master. He is in a leadership position and peoples jobs are depending on him. He cannot offer any more hollow apologies, he has to back them up with consistent action, or I will continue rooting for the staff to leave or for him to step down.

If he doesn’t make the time, energy, and effort to stop the madness, slow down, take a beat, remember all of the gentle and beautiful mentorship he actually did receive through his rise as a chef, lead with his heart, build trust and repair his relationships, especially with Sydney, with Richie, with his sister and her new baby, he will lose it all, because he will have lost the one thing that truly matters, the people he is supposed to care about and the people who care about him.

Does he have it in him to turn this all around? At this point I am not sure. And if he doesn’t, I believe what “grows together”, and they really did, all grow—-will in fact, go together.

©️moments-on-film 2024

[words-4u]

right person (1/3)

pairings: luca x reader, marcus x reader (platonic)

wc: 1.4k

a/n: immediately started planning a three part series on luca while watching the bear s2. that's what a tatted will poulter does to me (the bear is an incredible show btw pls watch if you don't)

warning: swearing

part 2 / part 3

"denmark?"

"yes! we are sending you and marcus to denmark for two weeks to stage at this really great restaurant. you're gonna learn to do three new desserts for us. carmy knows the head pastry chef. says he's really cool so it should be fun, right?" sydney explained.

"that does sound fun! i'm in!" you smile.

you look at marcus who was deep in thought. if you had to guess what he was thinking, his mind is probably on his mom who was currently bed ridden at a hospital.

you put a hand on marcus' shoulder. "you good with that?" you ask your co pastry chef.

he broke out of his thoughts and nods. "yeah, i-i'm great. i'd love to."

"great! cause you guys really didn't have a choice. your flights are already booked for tomorrow afternoon sooo thanks!" sydney offers two thumbs and an awkward smile before she leaves what used to be the kitchen.

"holy shit," you whisper in shock. "staging at a michelin star restaurant in a country i've always wanted to visit. could this be any better?"

"i have to go tell my mom but give me a call if you need a ride to the airport tomorrow. chester will probably take me and we can swing by your place if you want?"

"dude, yes! that'd save me a shit ton of money that i would've spent on uber."

"cool, see you," marcus grabs his bag and heads out the door.

after helping fak, riche and gary with fallen ceiling debris, you decide to leave a bit early to pack and clean your apartment before your travel.

it was noon on the dot the next day when marcus calls to check if you were ready for the airport. since you packed the night before, you had a rather peaceful morning. chester talks your ear off the whole way to the airport and you guys get there he demands to see your passports because he wants to make sure you and marcus actually had it on you.

"chester, can you do me a favour and check in on my ma when you get the time?" marcus asks.

"dude, i'm way ahead of you. gonna check on her every morning on my way to work,"

"i appreciate it."

chester looks at both you. "now, i want you take a deep breath and let the good in. you guys are gonna kill it."

you grin at marcus' friend. "thanks chester. okay we're gonna have to leave now before we miss our flight."

marcus says his farewell to his best friend and the two of you head to your gate.

the plane ride to copenhagen was smooth despite marcus' worries. you guys hop on a train to explore the city before heading to where you were staying.

"trains here are way cleaner than the ones in chicago," marcus leans over to whisper.

"waay cleaner," you agree.

the two of you exited the station and stood in awe of your view. clear blue skies. cool fresh air. colourful buildings. and the smell of hotdogs which was incredibly appealing after your long journey.

you and marcus lock eyes. "oh yeah."

marcus got a hotdog with dried onions and pickles on top while you had a plain jane moment with just ketchup.

"this is the best thing i've ever put in my mouth," you say with in between bites.

"just what i needed honestly," marcus says.

after your quick meal, the two of you continue to wander the city taking in the architecture most of all.

marcus was using the maps feature on his phone to find the place you were supposed to be staying at.

"uh i don't see any apartment buildings near," you say. "are you sure we are in the right place?"

marcus led you to a canal where some boats were docked. "i am 99.9% sure. you're staying in 286 and i'm in 287."

you glance at the boat in front of you and saw the gold numbers plaque on the side. "well, mystery solved. this is your place and i'm guessing this one is mine." you moved further down to the boat behind marcus' one.

"sick," he smiles.

"i'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"

"night, y/n!"

you walk down a couple of steps before unlocking a door that lead to a kitchen and dining room. it was spacious and you were grateful for the many windows it had. the stairs to the left led up to the bedroom which was a lot smaller than you anticipated having only space for your bed and a small cabinet for clothes.

you flop on your bed and exhaled. you didn't realize how tired you were until your head hit the soft mattress and while everything in you wanted to knock out, you knew you had to get up and unpack because you wouldn't have time tomorrow.

one thing you were not was a morning person and yes you should have gotten used to it by now working in the restaurant industry but getting up at 4 a.m. will never feel natural. regardless, you had a twinge of excitement for your new job and excited to learn under this new chef that carmy spoke so highly of.

once you got ready for the day, you hear three soft knocks.

"morning," you say. "you ready?"

"born ready," marcus says as you lock your door and head to the restaurant.

it was only a 15 minute walk from where you were staying so the two of you arrive with time to spare.

you walk into the bright kitchen and suck in a breath. the kitchen was stunning with it's high-end equipment, gorgeous green tiling and the young hot chef moving bags of flour from one table to another.

"chef. i'm marcus brooks and this is y/n y/l/n," marcus begins. "and we're from-"

the chef looks up for a quick second. "i know. i'm luca, pastry. we start at 5 a.m. your section's at the end of the bench."

the english accent takes you by surprise. your knees could have buckled right then and there.

"yes, chef," the two of you say in unison.

now your excitement turned into nervousness. not only were you to create three star-worthy desserts for the bear, you had to learn from someone who is so extremely good looking it hurts.

marcus and you head to the back to change into your uniforms which was a basic indigo t-shirt and a green apron like luca had.

when you went back out, you immediately wash your hands and got ready for whatever luca had in store for you guys.

luca had marcus rollout croissant pastry while he led you to a table where he had prepared a dessert. your task was to place pieces of peanuts at a certain angle as part of its presentation.

you study luca as he shows you what to do. he had small black tattoos scattered up and down his arms. that alone is having an effect on you.

"here, you try," he says passing the tweezers to you.

your fingers brush as you took the small tool from him. luca didn't make eye contact but you did notice his jaw clench.

"nuzzle that sliver into the pudding just to lock it in."

"yes, chef," you say.

taking one of the small nuts from the bowl, you place it on the pudding but it slipped last second.

"no. again, chef," he says in a calm yet assertive tone.

"sorry," you say and try again and it's worse which luca picks up on.

"hm, worse."

he takes the tweezers from you and picks up the piece. "don't be afraid to just stick it in there, you know," luca takes the nut and slides it in perfectly. "just be confident about it."

"don't second-guess yourself," he says finally locking eyes with you.

you nod. "yes, chef."

you took the tweezers back and third time was the charm because you placed the nut in the pudding just like he'd showed you. smiling to yourself, you put the tool down.

luca's face stays expressionless. he looks up from the dessert. "you know how to make shiso gelee?"

you absolutely do not know how to make whatever he just said but there was no way you were gonna let him know that.

"yes, chef."

"alright."

luca steps away to grab some ingredients which gives you the opportunity to whip your phone out and google the gelee. "dextrose? what the fuck is that?" you whisper to yourself.

luca came back and places a tray in front you. "recipe," he says tapping some blue index cards.

you felt your face burn. "thank you, chef."

end of part 1 omggg. not much luca x reader but it’s warming up trust me. i already have ideas for part 2 and 3 with some potential alternate endings... stay tuned

if you enjoyed, please let me know (through my bio) if you have any the bear requests, send them my way!

[yannaryartside]

THE DRIVING METAPHOR

images by @unladyboss

So, there are a lot of mentions of driving in the show, I will do my best to put them all together. 

Carmy doesn't own a car, but he seems a competent driver. We have seen him walking to his home at night multiple times already, particularly in 1x02. We don't know why he doesn't own a car. 

Sydney was a professional driver; however, she described the experience as "the crazy shit that made me do this crazy shit" (talking about the restaurant business). She mentions not owning a car to indicate how much she hasn't accomplished, next to still living with her dad. 

Both Carm and Sydney are the designated drivers of Richie's car.

Both Carmy and Sydney commute by public transit and walking. 

Claire is a terrible driver, but she enjoys the risk of it. Yet, when she is with Carmy, she is the one driving. 

Richie got his license suspended. This could be for many reasons. I think that he may have been intoxicated while driving or had a road incident of some sort, something that happened after finding out about Mickey's death. 

Cicero had a vivid dream of being driving a car out of control while Carm's dad was in the passenger seat. They eventually have to push the brakes to avoid hitting a kid on the road. Carmy's dad went through the windshield at full speed, with the kid waving at him. Many people have speculated if this is some metaphor for Papa Berzatto's addiction. If you are a car, the addiction makes you go out of control. But then, why is Cicero the one driving? I think this may be an analogy for their business, KBL, which supposedly has some dark corners that gave Cicero all his money. Was Papa Berzatto's death something related to KBL? 

Donna, on Christmas night, attempted suicide in front of her children and her whole family by crashing a car through the wall of their home. My God. How the fuck we even begin to unpack all that? If Cicero's dream was more literal, and Donna's attempt had succeeded, both parents of the Berzatto family would have died in car-related incidents.

Sweeps, Tina, and Ebra don't drive.

Marcus drives, and we have to presume he owns a car since Carmy offered him to go to pick out flour in 1x02. Random fact: Marcus mentions sleeping in the restaurant to save time on his commute. How long would his commute be if he owned a car? This may be an indicator of him living way outside of the city. 

THE RESTAURANT IS THE VEHICLE

Carmy is "driving," as in conducting the restaurant his brother and mom previously drove. He is supposed to give "direction," aka purpose, to the passengers so they can move in the same direction. He was supposed to have the wheel and the map on hand.

Her mom wanted to crash it all, the family and the restaurant, giving that burden to his eldest son. 

Carmy doesn't trust himself to control the restaurant or the people, the other passengers in the car, and he finds Sydney and gives her that role. Right after he learned she was a professional driver.

Sydney didn't like driving for ups, the same way she didn't like managing people in her previous jobs, as mentioned at the beginning of Brigade. Still, she takes the wheel.

The people unhappy with the sudden change of driver and direction gave her a bad time.

The most unhappy person with the change was Richie, the most unqualified person to drive because he got his license suspended. His redemption arc was completed when Sydney asked him to call the orders, the passengers listening to him and Sydney's voice. "Richie, drive."

Tina, Ebra, and Sweeps didn't "drive" the restaurant because they still needed to have a purpose and identity. 

DRIVING IS A METAPHOR FOR TAKING OWNERSHIP AND DIRECTION ON YOUR LIFE:

Again, we won't start with Papa and Mama Berzatto wanting to crash it all.

Mickey was Richie's map for finding the love of a family. So Richie had to find a new map and destination. The map was hospitality, based on recognizing his own people skills. 

Carmy let Claire take the wheel of their relationship, again, there is so much to unpack here. But she is a terrible driver and doesn't seem concerned about how her recklessness behind the wheel may affect others. Sydney, again, was a professional driver. Is this supposed to be a message of people with addictions or trying to heal from them, surrounding themselves with people who have direction, vs the reckless ones? I will take this as a chef-kiss victory.

Sydney wants full ownership and the capacity to make her path. That is why she wants her own car.

Why does Carmy keep failing/avoiding the role of the person behind the wheel? Is there something related to Richie calling him Donna, who tried to take her own life behind the wheel?

Is Carmy dealing with some hidden addiction? check @unladyboss theories about Carmy being a high-functioning alcoholic in this post, they got me sweating at night.

[cryobabyy]

I’m ngl, I’m having a hard time getting down with the whole “s3 had no character development” take. I think theres a lot of conflation between the actual term character development and positive development. Characters can also develop negatively. In the case of s3, Carmen gets worse, Sydney’s conflict avoidance gets worse, Richie’s identity as a father is changing, Marcus is reckoning with his mother’s death, etc. I don’t think there’s a lack of character development, I think it was more so an issue with pacing. If the pace is off, it can literally feel like nothing is happening.

This season we saw a lot of internal conflict — a lot of shots sequences cut together to represent what’s going on in their heads, subtext heavy writing etc. I think the show also has a problem with substituting a solid plot with subtext. It’s lowkey exhausting to follow along with. For Carmy and Sydney — the two most avoidant characters on the show — their shared screen time felt a bit aimless because you have to constantly consider this intricate ass subtext and apply it to all of their interactions, and if you don’t the scene feels empty. The constant parallels, double-meanings, call backs, etc — it was all just… exhausting. And that’s coming from someone whose special interest is meta analysis lol.

I think you can apply this logic to the plots of all the seasons as well. S1-2 had subtext, but were fairly straight forward plot progression wise. The casual viewer could understand and enjoy the story easily, and the viewer that likes to engage with media on a deeper level can delve into the details.

But in s3, like 80% of the conflict is occurring internally with the main plot of the season being trying to keep The Bear afloat and to keep operating costs of the restaurant within reason, which doesn’t feel super important because the only person telling us it’s important is Cicero — and he’s quite literally just telling us, we never see how The Bear is taking a financial toll on him, he just pops in every once and a while to remind us that they’re in big financial trouble while Carmy keeps wasting food, Tina shops for ingredients that are outside of their budget, Sydney barely brings it up at all, and everyone generally keeps operating as if they aren’t in deep financial shit.

The first watch experience for me was pretty rough, and I frequently asked myself “What am I supposed to be paying attention to? Where am I supposed to look? What is actually supposed to be important? Why does it simultaneously feel like so much is happening subtextually but the plot is progressing at a snails pace?”.

The second watch of some of the episodes was much smoother, but only because I took the time to try and deconstruct exactly what I saw via feverish and unhinged meta analysis on tumblr dot com. I think this is a big reason why this season had less than stellar reviews. The average person does not want to do homework to enjoy a show.

My final consensus is that I don’t feel like it was a bad season. I could tell what the writers were trying to do, but a lot of it just didn’t land. What was supposed to be tense, introspective, and slow-storytelling came across as aimless directionless and confusing.

Here’s to hoping season 4 will be an improvement lol

Less serious shit that pissed me off

- over relying on the Faks for comedic relief

- Pete constantly being the butt of the joke for???? Being pleasant and sweet?

- the way less miserable characters are treated like caricatures

- NO EPISODE ABOUT FRONT OF HOUSE???

- NO EBRA CHARACTER PIECE????

- Sweeps lore being reduced to a filler scene, smdh

- mid build up and no pay off

[ace-of-d1am0nds]

The Bear: Color and Control

obligatory long post warning

The Bear is all about control. Who's in control; how much control does each person have over themselves, each other, and the space.

While we see it in most aspects, the one thing I think demonstrates these power struggles best is color and lighting.

I think most pieces of media are about control and I might just be a pretentious film major so call me out if I'm being incredibly wrong here. But hear me out.

White: the "peace"

I'm not a SydCarmy truther or anything but let me just say the evidence is evidencing. This is the scene in which Sydney and Carmy are testing out menu options at Carmen's apartment. The scene is washed with a striking white light because, at this moment, they have complete power over the food in front of them, the relationship between them, and the emotions they are feeling. Now I say the evidence is evidencing because I scrubbed through almost all of season 2 for this post and nearly every scene with Claire isn't lit with a white light, it's lit like most of the scenes in the show: a warm toned neutral light. But that's beside the point.

Blue: the lack

The first scene of season 2 is one of Marcus talking to his mom in a coma. He is bathed in harsh blue light because he has little to no control over his mother's health. We see the blue light over and over again across the show but this is one of the few that doesn't have that conflict in lighting. This scene is clear as day. Marcus is powerless over this situation. And he seemingly is at peace with that.

The Disruption of White: the loss

In season 2, when Carmy starts changing the menu without consulting Sydney, we see the normally intense white light of the kitchen being dulled into a colder hue. This may be a stretch but I think this is supposed to represent Sydney grasping for a share of what Carmy continually takes for himself. The warm light directly over only his head, shows how he alone feels like this is "normal". He believes that he has done no wrong. He can't see how he's hurt Sydney. Yet.

In season 3, episode 2. The through-line is the lights. The kitchen light, harsh and exacting and ever-present throughout the season and the kitchen's environment in general, is fritzing out. The only people who don't point this out are Carmen and Richie. During their argument, they are fighting and vying for control. Meanwhile, everyone else is losing said control. Everybody, repeatedly, is trying to calm them down, trying to regain a semblance of peace in the kitchen. To no avail. Until Marcus comes in, of course; the only person who seems to be content with the lack of control he has over his life.

The Split Screen: My Favorite Shots

The following gifs are courtesy of @tragicsiblings

This whole scene. This whole episode, mind you. Is about Carmen Berzatto losing control. He gets stuck in the walk-in and realizes everything he didn't consider and everything he's losing at this moment. Meanwhile, Richie is in his element. It's friends and family night. He's prowling the dining room like it's nobody's business. He trained for this. Richie is trying to exert his power over Carmen to force him to calm down. Obviously, we know this doesn't work. So Richie, because he can, goes back to work. He runs the brigade. While Carmen stays stuck. Stuck in the walk-in but more importantly stuck in his own head.

This scene, man. This scene is a montage of Carmen yelling at everybody to work faster, better, etc. Meanwhile, Richie is shown only in extreme close-ups of his eyes as he surveys the front of house. As they do, they get into an argument. This is intercut with a barrage of reviews calling the restaurant a failure. The line I want to focus on is "Richie doesn't get a hold." I'm translating this to mean "Richie's not in charge here, I am." But this shot. Richie and Carmen make eye contact through the glass of the window into the kitchen. The line down the middle and the triangles mimicking the glass on the wall show their distance. This moment, among others, is why the front and back of house are, as Richie likes to point out, dysregulated. It's because their two leads are at odds with each other.

Carmen will never give any of his power or control over to any of his partners, whether it be the menu to Sydney, the finances to Nat, or even a stake in the business at all to Richie. Carmen Berzatto, at his core, needs to be in control.

[thegirlwhowatchedeverything]

Pete Appreciation Post

Pete and Nat:

As her partner, he not only handles but actually and actively loves her family.

He goes to Al-Anon meetings WITH her (1x2).

He doesn't show up to Christmas empty handed (to steal Carmy's words that'd make him an asshole). He continues to be joyful and make small talk while being ripped to shreds for his attempt at a funny, genuinely considerate tuna casserole (2x6).

One of Nat's biggest traumas (flashback to 2x6 of Donna grabbing her by the face while threatening to kill herself) is juxtaposed with her greatest joy - ending the day with Pete on the couch watching TV (2x8).

Everything Pete does and says in 2x10. I don't even know where to start. Him so beyond proud and supportive and excited and happy for Nat. Him trying to convince Donna to come inside by playing to their shared pride of Nat (and Carm). His reaction after the conversation with Donna. Chris Witaske you talented actor and Pete you beautiful, patient, loving, understanding, forgiving man.

Pete and Carmy:

Pete makes such an effort with him (to steal Mikey's words he gives like the biggest fuck). He genuinely embraces Carmy and wants so desperately to be embraced by Carmy in return:

He brushes/laughs off an unexplained past incident involving Carmy (and presumably Michael) that sent him to urgent care. Very bro siblings roughhousing behavior (1x2).

He lets Carmy use his and Nat's freezer even though he knows she'll be mad at him for it. Very brothers ganging up on their sister/two siblings scheming against the third (which I imagine happened between the Berzatto siblings so much and in so many combinations) (1x5).

He was so hype and adorably complimentary about Carmy's homemade ecto cooler and ugh I wish Carm had given more credit there because they are clearly just both big nerds at heart (1x4).

He defends Carmy for being called a loser at the catered party by bringing up his career as one of the most lauded chefs (as I've said before, he and Syd were the two members of the Chef Carmy club). And he does so in front of a large and intimidating assortment of friends and family (to paraphrase Carmy paraphrasing Marcus we see that Pete can throw down huh). Very protective big brother vibes (1x4).

He then individually compliments Carmy's courage for leaving home and making an incredible career for himself. He also makes a point to tell him that Nat is proud of him. Emotionally supportive brother behavior (1x4).

He thanks Carmy for letting him be a part of his family! It's beyond sweet to say that to your in laws, but when your in laws are the Berzattos (1x4)?!

Pete And The Berzattos:

He still gets ribbed more than not, but at the end of the day he's accepted.

Carmy saying I kind of like Pete now (1x5).

Stevie saying his heart was in the right place after the tuna faux pas (2x5).

Fak saying he'll be a great daddy (2x10).

Donna congratulating Pete about the baby thus signaling her approval (2x10).

Pete Is An Only Child:

I've been convinced since S1 and S2 only confirmed.

The genuine love and effort he puts into each family member (blood, extended, and honorary) of the Berzattos not only shows Pete is truly a nice guy, but it speaks to his deep desire to be a part of a family - to belong (see all examples above).

We learned Richie and Sydney are only children (It must have been nice to have Nat and Carm. Yeah, now you do too. *sobs*) so another proof point that all partners to the Berzatto siblings are onlys.

Stevie. In his speech, he says You guys have been so kind to me. You let me hang out with your every holiday. I don't have a family like this and I'm really grateful you make space for me at this table and you make time for me on the holidays. You can imagine an exact speech coming from Pete. And like Pete, Stevie genuinely loves and gets along with each of the Berzattos (2x6). A last parallel between these two: Donna speculates if he's gay and that is totally something I can imagine her, Mikey or Richie saying about Pete at first meeting.

Something about not knowing Pete's last name or anything about him outside of his relationships with the Berzattos signals to me he's not from a big family and/or is not close to them and really just exists in the Berzatto cinematic universe.

Takeaways:

Pete is the MVP of The Bear. We better get more of him in S3.

The Berzattos attract only children and strays like moths to a flame.

[hourglassfish]

On Season 1, Episode 7 Part Three : Risottogate

OK look,

Go and get yourself an ecto cooler or something, cus this is long, OK? This is long.

You comfortable?

Alright, let’s go.

don't forget the Xanax!

Elevated Beef (stock)

There’s a connection drawn between Sydney and veal stock in the Bear. She spills it all over herself during Brigade. Claire interrupts Carmy purchasing veal stock for menu testing her bone broth idea at the end of 2:2.  It’s an interesting ingredient to align her with: a staple of French cuisine, something you’ll find in a professional high end kitchen but not necessarily at home, a distinctive, practical component which provides a subtle, solid umami base for a range of dishes.

The first time this connection is drawn is during one of my favourite interactions: the ‘plum haribo’ story in Brigade. Marcus has decorated his work station (I love him), and despite the fact that Carmy says he’s having flashbacks (eeeeeeek), I think he is happy to see this coming together of his two worlds.

They start talking about this fancy plum dish, and a gelee component (which will reappear in Honeydew!) that had to have a very specific texture. Carmy has been talking about the dedication needed to make this dish work with pride, presenting the texture of the gelee as a huge challenge, something it took someone a year to figure out. Sydney cracks it in less than a minute. Veal fat. She knows what’s needed, and she knows why: it congeals when it’s cold. Boom!

Carmy’s response to this always amuses me. He is not…dismayed exactly. Not quite. After all, it’s a reminder of her brilliance, and also that that world is not so far away.  That being said, she cuts across a punchline here; and what was a mystery to the best chefs in the world for a year is immediately obvious to her, to the extent that it’s not even really a flex on her part: she states it quite diffidently. Marcus’s gleeful ‘Mission Accomplished’ is very different from Carmy’s, which is a bit more ‘…oh.’.

On rewatches where I feel charitable, Carmy then implements the brigade cus he's been reminded that he has someone close by from that world, he has an ally that speaks his language, who is talented. On days when I feel less charitable, I combine this with him later talking her through the differences between stock/jus/demi-glace in front of Tina  like an asshole, and see him handing the brigade over at that specific moment, in the specific way that he does as passive aggressive. Most days I’m with the former! Still…we’re back in the grey areas of Syd and Carmy’s  dynamic. Where all the good shit is!

He's so glad she figured that out so quickly, absolutely not feeling a type of way about it, nope, not at all

I wanted to start with this story cus it opens up three things for me:

a) just a frisson, a hint, a delicious drop (!) of competition between Syd and Carmy 

b) the question, beloved by fanfic writers everywhere, of what the dynamic between these two might have been if they had met in a different context.

c) a third, messier thing, about Carmy going away, tooling up, coming back and it needing to be worth something, that going way. As far as he knows at this point, It didn’t achieve what it was meant to achieve, it didn’t get Mikey’s attention. Maybe he didn’t need to leave Chicago to do it. Sydney's talent tickles that tension, as does Marcus's (trios, trios!). So what was it for? What were the past few years of his life for, if a bunch of this stuff was in Chicago all along?

Who was Carmy away from Chicago? Who is he without his family? We’ve only seen one flashback so far, very much from inside Carmy’s head. The way he tells it is very different from what we see. At Al Anon, he describes himself like this:

‘when somebody new came into the restaurant to stage, I’d look at them like they were competition, like I’m gonna smoke this motherfucker’.

But you're tall and sexy, so don't worry about it babes

Gosh. Yes Chef!

I don’t think Carmy holds anything like this level of aggression towards any of the original staff of the Beef: it would be absurd: they don’t have his training or experience. For the most part we see doing the work of pulling a team together, which explicitly involves putting that kind of competitiveness to the side.

I don’t think he has this energy for Sydney.

Not quite.

I do think it’s an important thing for us to learn about his character. I do think that we are told it at the beginning of Episode 8, after Sydney has quit, because there are ugly feelings around the risotto dish. I do think that those feelings drive a lot of how Review goes down, and that Carmy knows this.  

This ferocious comparison and competition, used as a driving force, is a part of who Carmy is, and a part of the kitchens that he has come from. In another context, Sydney would have just been competition. And he’d have been trying to smoke her.

Let’s follow a humble bowl of risotto through THREE EPISODES, and about 5000 words, good GOD.

Tracing the Journey of the Risotto: Unanticipated

I tried to find appetising pics of her cooking the risotto but mostly it doesn't look very aesthetic, so here is Syd in my fave of her scarves.

A Risotto, playing on ‘tongue in cheek’ is first tentatively pitched in Sheridan, as an idea for a new menu that they have ‘spoken about’. Carmy is… noncommittal. He’s not into it, but he doesn’t say that, he just doesn’t really engage. I think there are a bunch of valid reasons to not be into it, tbh. I’ve ordered risotto to go. It’s always kind of gluey and disappointing. Sydney isn’t given a clear no, so she decides to cook it: it becomes something she has to convince him on.

He doesn’t get to try it in this episode as there are drugs to sell and about a million different fires to fight. We know that she dreams about this dish though. In this episode she talks about how thinking about her mistakes with Sheridan Road keep her up at night,  but the last images of the episode are of her dreaming: beef… raspberries… cola… fire: there it is. Cola braised short rib. We’re back in the realm of deeply personal creative expression that I spoke about in part two. That anxious energy around failing with Sheridan Road? Is going somewhere else, is being transformed. This is important, and has the potential to be profoundly healing. This dish has meaning for her.

The dish returns in Ceres. Syd is an unstoppable force with the dish, and having said she wants to be listened to, is not listening to several requests from Carmy for more time. Stressful! He deals with it well, at first. He is calm, and polite and asks her to hold on. Which is not a no. But then -

 ‘I know everybody you used to work for, I called them before hiring you’

oooooh weeee.

There is nothing wrong with him seeking out references. His reasons are logical, and he’s transparent about them. Personally? I think it’s sensible to let employees know you’re seeking out references to avoid paranoia, but it’s not a legal requirement. People do it informally via whisper networks all the time, both purposefully and by accident. Gotta say though, the phrasing and the timing of this ‘reveal’ made me wince.

There are a million different theories of feedback, of how to give and receive it well. One argues that feedback must be asked for, accurate and measurable. If it’s not measurable, then you are nitpicking. If it’s not accurate, you’re hating. If it’s not asked for, or at least delivered in an environment where it’s anticipated, it is unlikely to be received well. Carmy, unfortunately, delivers a whopper of unanticipated feedback here: ‘me and all your old bosses (I know EVERYONE YOU USED TO WORK WITH)have been talking about you and they all agree on this flaw’.

YIKES

Would I let Syd stab me for a bowl of this? Maaaaybe. Maybe.

My reading is that he wanted to ask for her patience, and to say that his decision to pace out the changes is coming from experience, but he’s being backed into a corner, so he summons up the spectre of her old bosses for back up. Syd had opened up last episode, and is still very vulnerable about Sheridan, so he unintentionally wounds her here. We can read this in her response. He says her employers said she was smart, talented,  green and impatient, she hears ‘me and everyone you’ve worked for think your business failed because you were green and impatient, that’s why you’re here, and why this dish can’t go on the menu’. This dish is getting entangled in so many other things about where they’ve come from.

He does take the time to reframe it: outlines his practical concerns, and starts to articulate that he wants to maintain calm before they make more changes - 

And then Sugar is banging on the door, demonstrating his point.

At this point, Carmy is trying to build a parachute. They don’t have one when Jimmy comes to visit in Hands, but they do have one that becomes Richie’s bail by Braciole. Reserve building takes steady, dull consistency, but this isn’t communicated, and they don’t agree on a timeframe for the menu development, or even to come back to this conversation. This is small stuff, I know I sound nitpicky! But in my experience managing people, tension builds in the unknowns, in the places where there aren’t specifics, especially when you have a team member like Sydney who is ambitious and dynamic.

Sydney is firmly in the realm of the job that Carmy specified here. He is dialling business, she is doing everything else. If you’re a nerd and you zoom in on her CV, she has done menu development before. She is green, but not that green. She is impatient, but she also doesn’t have the same complicated relationship with change at the Beef that pretty much everyone else but Marcus does. The risotto is the first unofficial test of the impact of strain on their (messy ass) working dynamic, to Review’s much more official gauntlet.

Why would they write a proper CV and film it if they didn't want me to spend 5 minutes hitting pause repeatedly until I'd read it?

*squints* designed daily specials with complete creative control! At Alinea! A THREE STAR MICHELIN RESTAURANT! At the time they wrote this, it had held and retained those stars for twelve years! She is not new to this!

Tracing the Journey of the Risotto Two: Unmeasurable

They try again with the risotto later. She is a little more patient, initially. She makes the effort and he thanks her for it. He tries it, which she really wanted (surely that will convince him!), and she has modified her request, from to-gos, to trying it as a special. Her equivalent of baby steps. She listened. She’s trying. Lovely Angel and my main man Ebra come by, taste and support Carmy’s ‘tremendous’.

But here Carmy gives feedback that isn’t measurable. It’s not perfect, but he doesn’t say why, even though he knows, and it’s an easy fix! He’s nitpicking, because he doesn’t, for a bunch of practical reasons, want to put risotto on the menu, but doesn’t want to shoot her down. He asks her if she understands after she has explicitly said that she doesn’t (cus he’s not being up front), and then doesn‘t explain himself. He’s not really asking if she understands, he’s telling her to stop. It’s not really the dish that’s not ready, not really, it’s him, he’s not ready to make a new raft of changes, to think through the gap between the Michelin star excellence he has come from, and the budgetary, practical restrains of where he’s at.

I think this is really fair. Or at least understandable. Carmy just wants to catch a breath, and he has to have oversight on so many different things at once, adding something else to that must feel terrifying. But the way he communicates this shuts down and restricts: he switches the dynamic from one where they listen to each other (which requires that they both explain themselves) to one where he tells and she does. It doesn’t really give her anywhere to go, so her frustration is inevitable and also understandable. Measurable feedback! Clarity. If you don’t want risotto on the menu Carmy, rip the band-aid, and say it, and say why. Get her to work on something that is going to fit with the menu in a different way, in the way that you want, and be clear about the way in which you want to shape it!

He knows he’s not been great here. Carmy apologises for ‘being shitty’ later in the episode (as others have noted, it’s a shit apology) and he also starts his apology with ‘needs acid’ in 1:8. He knows that a lot of Review is to do with this dish.

When Carmy apologises about being shitty later in Ceres, she doesn’t mention that she put the dish out earlier. It’s framed as a little moment of.. if not revenge, then a little something for herself. I think she knows it’s not OK, not really, or she’d have mentioned it, and her face says a lot when she says it’s cool.  I’m not a chef, I only ever worked FOH, but my instinct is that its dodgy and it fills me with unease. A grey area. A pop of tension.

Tracing the Journey of the Risotto Three: Hating

Whenever I think about the strikes, I think about the broader ensemble in this show.

The next time the risotto turns up, it’s being mentioned in a review. A lot happens here, so I’m gonna bullet point out all the references, then analyse some of them afterwards. I’m also gonna jump a whole bunch, cus I want to stay tightly focused on the risotto itself, and the dynamic between Syd and Carmy as relates to it:

Ebra reads the review out!

Syd has a lovely, gentle smile for Ebra as he reads it, her whole body relaxes as she taps at the tablet. This validation clearly means a lot to her. Ebra’s dynamic with both Sydney and Marcus is consistently a joy to behold. When he tells her in Dogs that she’s given Marcus a lot of confidence, she glows, and I think it’s something she really needed to hear. He’s subtle about it, but he never makes her life difficult when she implements the brigade. There’s something about the oldest member of the team, reading the review out, a little haltingly cus English isn’t his first language, that doubles down on the love that can be present in the Beef, making it all the more jarring when –

Carmy cuts across this and starts talking about the day’s opening with a ‘stop reading that shit’

Fam ‘that shit’ just described your food as elevated and elegant! In the foodie heaven that is Chicago! In your restaurant which is kind of failing! It’s your team’s first review since you’ve been there! So straight away you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop, because what has got his knickers in a twist?

Carmy is justified in being pissed off about Syd’s actions here. What he is not justified in, is not finding a way to celebrate the review itself with his team, who deserve to have this moment. It’s a milestone for them to get some external validation, and the restaurant, quite frankly, needs it. A five star review! Tina squeals with delight when she hears it. Before a new program and a busy shift is the perfect moment to read this out, and go into the work feeling good. A united, gassed up team? Would have killed those to gos.

Sydney is also responsible for this messiness though. In going rogue the episode before, something which could have been about the team becomes about her in a way that is sticky, and it becomes harder to celebrate. It was not her intention, but this is the outcome.

Ebra ignores Carmy

(cus he’s redundant and white JK JK don’t cancel me)

There is a double edged shout out to the team

‘the staff moves are next level’: this is such brilliant, important feedback from a team that has had to weather so much change! Also calls back to Richie:  ‘Uh oh, Sydney making moves!’ in the car in Hands.

‘The sandwiches are so delicious as ever, but the standout dish that... that, that encapsulates all, this was the risotto with braised beef. The rice was luscious with a surprising ribbon of brine running through the sauce. The chef obviously knew what she was doing’

THAT REVIEWER IS A SNITCH

Did Syd know that reviewer was a reviewer? I dunno man. Maybe! She’s Chicago born and bred, knows the food scene well. It’s not outside of the realm of possibility that she’d recognise him. Maybe she just wanted some good immediate feedback, while she was feeling shitty! Maybe all she wanted was him to send a message back to the kitchen that’s like tell Syd the risotto was great: the impact of his Review but on a much smaller, less disruptive scale.

I think it’s genuine coincidence, which unfortunately looks… not like that. The thing is: the reviewer being a reviewer isn’t what the issue is. The issue is giving food not signed off by her boss to a customer.  She'd have never gotten away with that at the places where she was before. Putting the dish out is going rogue, regardless of who she gives it to. It’s not a team move. If Carmy called in her old bosses for back up, she calls in his potential new customers. Eek. EEK.

Sydney desperately tries to get Ebra to shush, to no avail

(extremely funny work from Ayo, but also he’s pissed, and she either already knows it, or already antipates it – it’s hard to get a read on how long they’ve been in and when they learnt about the review)

‘river of brine, huh?’ 

Carmy, you little snark!!! This is very much his wheelhouse of expressing displeasure, he loves a little jab to the emotional solar plexus. My reading of his line is that what the reviewer tried and what Carmy tried are different, because if it had a ribbon of brine in it, I think that means that there was enough acid. Syd has two dishes, and she’s specific about Carmy trying one and not the other, so my reading here is that Carmy’s POV is not only did a dish go out of my kitchen without my sign off, but it was different from the dish I was given to try. Wince. Wince, wince, wince.

Sydney and Carmy have a fucking excruciating conversation.

Just the worst.

Carmy is not happy, but feels unable to voice this in a way that seems reasonable: he’s busy and stressed about to-gos, he hasn’t moved past the unreasonable feelings of resentment and annoyance to the clarity which enables you to articulate how you feel and why, and because Syd’s gamble paid off! It’s a net positive for the restaurant so it feels counterintuitive to reprimand her, but there is a conversation they need to have. He really does not want to have this conflict, because it’s complicated, and is, like most big blow outs over something small, about so much more than a plate of risotto.  He breezes over the conversation, but you can’t start with that ribbon of brine opener and then tell me shit’s not weird.

Compare this to Brigade, when Sydney is asked what’s up, and she is brave enough and vulnerable enough to be like – here are the things that weren’t OK, here are my expectations, here are my boundaries.

On the other side of the conversation, Sydney knows that she has slipped across a slightly odd boundary, but doesn’t acknowledge this. It’s good he liked it! All’s well that ends well. Right? RIGHT? But if he hadn’t? Very different conversation. It doesn’t matter who he is! He could have been anyone - someone that left a weird Instagram comment later, or someone who didn’t finish the meal and complained. Whatever the case may be, giving it to him unofficially was not an act of partnership, or listening, even if the initial communication was shitty.

She knows she’s overstepped,  but she doesn’t apologise and doesn’t acknowledge the specifics of what she’s done wrong, because she does not want to have the conflict that could come out of this either. She seeks affirmations that they are OK rather than trying to actually find out how Carmy feels and why, because at this point she doesn’t really want to hear it. She is seeking this conversation out 20 minutes before open! It’s not the time for a thorny, complex discussion.  

Compare this to Brigade. Carmy knows Sydney is pissed, and makes the effort to speak to her, in private, armed with the peace offering of Ebra’s Suqaar. He is very careful in that conversation to ask open questions (‘what’s going on with you? Say more?’) that enable her to respond honestly. He persists despite her having her walls up around the fact that she’s pissed. Sydney does not do this. The power dynamic makes it hard, but still. If she wants the connection needed to power reconciliation, that bravery needs to be in play.

are you sure we can't just power through this with sexual tension?

Sweeps congratulates her and tells her she’ll have to tell her dad

Hope Mr Adamu got a newspaper clipping!

Carmy says the sandwiches are totally different and the reviewer is a fucking hack. Syd looks sad.

This moment is why I opened this essay talking about veal stock. We are back in a moment with a gap between what has been said, and what has been heard. The reviewer said the sandwiches were delicious as ever. That’s not a criticism at all! These are not words that justify being called a hack! Carmy is pissed because the reviewer says they are delicious and they always have been, that Carmy has not improved on the staple that was there before him.

And that shit hurts his ego!

His whole thing was going off to learn ‘how to be better than mom and dad’s piece of shit’. We know he’s changed a bunch of things about the sandwiches. In Hands,  Sydney mentions that they’ve switched to market produce, which I’m sure is not unrelated to Richie’s ‘You’ve been here for two weeks and we’ve had money problems for two weeks’ in System. In Carmy’s time there, the bread’s changed, the method for cooking the beef has changed, the way they braise onions has changed.

To that customer? Delicious as ever.It’s not a dismissal, or an insult.  It is a reminder that Carmy didn’t have to leave, and go through all he went through, that there was delicious food and skills to be learned and refined without it. We know Michael was a talented chef. Even now, with all of where he’s been, Carmy cannot surpass him or his memory.

The person that does surpass that? Is Sydney. With food his palate did not deem good enough! Sydney who has not had to leave Chicago and her family. Sydney who has found a way to be creatively free, even at The Beef, in ways that Carmy has not really been able to, because his primary concern has to be money. There is understandable resentment here. But there is competition to the way Carmy cooks, something to prove, someone to smoke. There are reasonable feelings here, but some of them are really ugly, too.

Tina describes Syd as Jeff’s friend

This is a strange little line – because we know that Tina respects Syd as a chef at this point, and she doubles down on it later when she asks Syd to teach Louis skills, like she herself has been taught. So why’s it there? My feeling is that it’s there to remind the audience of what Syd and Carmy’s relationship is usually like. I wouldn’t call it friendship, I think they operate in a weird place that defies labels, but they have this synergy which drives the business. Tina evoking that in this moment draws attention to the fact that they are not in that space right now.

He's just got a very sweet face, it's hard for me to believe he's in trouble at school

Richie has a loud, performative conversation with Carmy about many things, but for the purpose of this section, he states that they don’t do risotto, asks if they’re going to, and Carmy definitively states that ‘no, they’re not going to do that’ he also repeats Syd’s phrasing that it was ‘an accident’

She stabbed the wrong ass if you ask me!

Nah, but for real, this is nasty work. I’m gonna come back to it in the next (penultimate!) bit of writing about the Beef, the Bear, Richie & Michael, Syd & Carmy. For now, I will simply say that Carmy is doing up major pass agg here, and it’s nasty to watch. He’s really, really unhappy with her,  and he’s struggling to hold it in, so it’s coming out in unhelpful and unpleasant ways that feel like humiliations in front of the whole team, and punishment.

There are really valid reasons for Carmy to be annoyed and to not want to talk about it right now.  The problem is that If you don’t create a pressure valve you take responsibility for, you will end up a) exploding instead (lol) and/or b) releasing that frustration in unhelpful and harmful ways.

They move towards this with their ASL sorry in Season Two. But here, Carmy says and implies a bunch of things to Richie that he needed to say explicitly to Syd two episodes ago, and two minutes ago: that he has no intention of putting risotto on the menu, and that he thinks her saying it was an accident was bullshit. He wants Syd to know it’s not OK without the hard, painful work of having to engage in conflict with her. It’s shitty.

Sweet Louis asks what a ribbon of brine is

He seems like a good boy, bring him back!

A BUNCH OF STUFF THAT I WILL WRITE ABOUT NEXT TIME HAPPENS

Richie, Syd and Carmy, it’s delicious (a nightmare).

Syd attempts a second conversation with Carmy – having vented some frustration  at Richie, and seeing how her workload is piling up and becoming untenable, she is much more open here. Carmy is not.

She’s blunt – we’re not on the same page. Carmy lies and deflects – we’re good, let’s get through the shift. He has his hands on his hips, with as much of his body turned away from her as possible, during this conversation, and walks off half way through it. Even if everything had gone right, this shift would have been a nightmare for Syd.

Everything is awesome!

The penultimate mention of the risotto is here. There is very little I can say that has not been brilliantly said by eatandsleepwell here - https://www.tumblr.com/hourglassfish/726487509540962304/eatandsleepwell-melonatures-this-one-second?source=share so I’m gonna link it.

That’s the last we hear of risotto for now, other than a quick reference to Syd as an arrogant and condescending ribbon of brine from Richie later. It doesn’t turn up on the tasting menu at the Bear, where it defo feels like a riff on risotto could have replaced one of their pasta dishes. That switch from rice to pasta feels pointed.

Spaghetti

Let’s treat The Beef as a character. If Sydney’s ingredient motif is veal stock, then The Beef’s is that family spaghetti.

Cheap and simple. Fucking delicious. Makes no sense and shouldn’t work, but was somehow the best seller on the menu. Distinctively Italian. Stuffed full of drug money(!). Always, always presented at the table with love, like a gift. You can elevate it if you want, but the fact of the matter is that even at its very best, it’s only gonna hit so hard cus it reminds you of simpler times, like the ratatouille (that is not a ratatouille!) from the movie Ratatouille.

Carmy rejects that meal at the top of the series. It ‘doesn’t make sense on the menu’, so he doesn’t care that people loved it. So far, so EMP. When he starts to cook it in episode one, it feels like a relenting to Richie’s bullying, and him throwing WHAT WE NOW KNOW WAS PROBABLY A FEW THOUSAND DOLLARS in the bin at the end of the episode feels like this exhilarating rejection of mediocrity. They change the lines for System, but in the pilot, Carmy literally cannot make the spaghetti, that last lesson from Michael is a real missing puzzle piece.

In Braciole,  when he gets the recipe, he goes to cook it, for family. It’s really nice, that scene, feels comparable to Sydney making omelette. It’s quiet, and Carmy seems content, if wistful. The pork instead of beef panic of earlier is put to the side for now. The previous day, Carmy has gone to Al-Anon and confessed, unburdened himself. Then followed two quiet days and a blue hued night of atonement: he reaffirmed his commitment to Richie, paying his bail and keeping watch all night, gave Tina the night off, apologised to Marcus and acknowledged that his behaviour towards Sydney wasn’t acceptable, as well as speaking to her about her dish, like an adult. Carmy has to do all of this before he finds the money, before he gets the validation that he’s really longing for from his brother.

JAW getting his Emmy, his Golden Globe, his SAG Award, his Bafta, his future Oscar Winning role.

If The Bear at its core is about grief, and the void that Michael’s death leaves, then one of the big journeys of Season One is the subsequent death of the Beef, ready for its rebirth as The Bear in the following season. Review is the short sharp stab to the gut, of Sydney leaving, and taking any hope that it can be reformed as is, with her work. I don’t think the nature of a puncture wound, and the shortness of that episode are unrelated.

Braciole is more of a death rattle: Jimmy’s debt keeping them trapped in shitty work they don’t want to do, situations that spiral out of control and descend into violence, their parachute turned to bail money. But Michael wanted more for his brother than that, and he has left him a foundation. He does not have to burn the place down, there need not be smoke and hellfire. There’s another avenue for rebirth, one where ‘set this place on fire’ does not have to mean an insurance scam, but instead can mean an ignition of all their ambition and dreams.

To get there there has to be an ego death first, a moment of hubris that gets our protagonists fresh, and clean, so they can move to the new. Sydney sees and experiences the worst of herself (more on this in the final part!). Richie gets stabbed (more on this in the next part).

Carmy? Carmy has to encountera crisis where not only could his training not save him but many of the lessons he learnt while he was away and his reasons for going in the first place actively made the situation worse, and those that had faith in him and his preferred system turned away from him, deeply hurt. His ego gets in the way of connection, and it shatters the partnership that he needs to make it all work. He is clinging to old ways of being that has not served him, but he needs to move forward into what is new. And he does.

Well.

He tries.

SMDH

WHEW

Another long one, sorry fam. I’m almost there though. Am I sorry? No, I’m grateful if you read it, and I hope you enjoyed it.

I hope I’m pulling this together coherently, that I’m showing a sort of throughline to the way I view Episode 7. I don’t think Sydney is perfect! I do think her walking out is narratively and politically (the show wants better for the workplaces its drawn from) necessary, and I hate, hate, hate the simplification of that decision to ‘he shouted at her so she bailed’. Please, you can’t think this show is well written and think her decision is as simple as that, it doesn’t make sense. That exit is crafted so that it is inevitable, there is a movie’s worth of build up to it.

We’re looking at Richie, Syd and Carmy next time, fam. I am trying so hard to cut it down cus it’s currently sat at 15,000 words, but I’m gonna try really hard to edit down, OK? I’m gonna try really hard.

I can’t respond but I value reblogs and comments so much!

This is part of a five part series! You can find the rest here:

Expect More: Syd and Carmy's relationship,

I know you'll be listening: Marcus, McDonald's and Freedom

Risottogate

Hiring New Fucking Broads: Syd, Richie and conflict;

"That's Not You" The Moment Syd Walks Out

[bearsinpotatosacks]

Carmy changes Syd’s menu and messed with Richie’s tables because he thinks he’s got more knowledge and that he’s helping the restaurant. This is because he got trapped in the walk in and thought that he failed the restaurant, Jimmy’s conversation about not messing up the restaurant and Chef David’s constant abuse coming to mind about how he needs to make everything perfect. So, he becomes laser focused on helping the restaurant and mistakenly thinks that this by proxy is helping out his team as well.

Help restaurant → improve sales/more people come in → success → team are happy

But what’s actually going on is Carmy thinks he’s helping but he’s messing with the agency of the rest of the staff without realising it. 

Richie talks about how the front of house is his dojo and messing with it creates an environment of fear. His whole character arc centres around the fact that the patrons of these fancy restaurants go there to be treated the best that money can buy, so he does the surprises and he wants no mushrooms just because someone doesn’t want mushrooms because he knows this shit matters. 

Carmy is in it for the artistry, he’s in it for the accolades, for the Star even if it’s not what he wants personally, he’s doing it because ‘that’s what you do at this level’ so he does it without thinking if it’s right for the restaurant. And by doing this, by not registering on the basic level why restaurants are a thing, why people cook for people, he messes with the atmosphere of the restaurant, both staff and patrons and causes them to be off their game, causing a likely negative review. 

Syd’s in it because, at some level, she loves to cook. We see her make an omlette for Nat, she cooks for Marcus in season 1 and hypes up the staff around her. Yes, she wants the same accolades that Carmy does but we don’t really see Carmy cook for the joy of it much at all in the show  like we see her do. We see her go around Chicago looking for inspiration and just eating for the fun of it, she comes to the Beef for Carmy’s reputation, because he made the best meal she ever ate, because she went on a food tour, and she also comes because she remembers it from when she was a child. She’s still got that love for food and drive that made her not want to work on a line plucking herbs for a dish she doesn’t care about, it’s what drove her to create her own catering business.

We see Carmy cook with Mickey in the season 1 flashback and make Sprite for Tiff in Fishes but him just cooking for himself and everyone else seems to only be shown at the end of s1 when he finally makes the spaghetti like Richie was asking him to all season. But we never see the drive that made him pursue being a chef much outside of flashbacks. And even in those flashbacks it’s partially shown that he went to New York to escape his family and as a kind of revenge on Mickey not letting him work at the Beef. He doesn’t seem to cook for enjoyment anymore, it’s for the skill, it’s because it’s what he does and it’s the only thing he has, he’s sacrificed so much for his status as a cook and for his skills that it’s the only way he knows how to operate. 

So, to fix what the mess he’s created, for short term goals because ‘get over trauma’ is far too grand  for the possible last season that season 4 might be, he needs to be able to get into cooking for cooking again. He needs to see what food does for people, he needs to fall in love with the craft again, and when he can see this, he’ll see why Richie’s insistent on a lot of things that make them clash in season 3. You can’t have a Micheln Star if people don’t come to your restaurant. I don’t know about anyone else but most restaurants (and I have never been to one as fancy as the Bear is trying to be) are open to you not wanting something, I’ve asked for no cheese and there’s no cheese, I’ve asked for no guacamole and sour cream on a jacket potato and that’s what I got, so if I went to somewhere and paid almost $200 and didn’t get to have things I didn’t like removed (as well as not knowing what I’m eating because the menu is changed everyday) I’d be pissed and would not recommend it. 

It just seems like Carmy forgot that he’s meant to like what he does along the way. Chef David worked it out of him that food is something you’re meant to enjoy making. If he can get that, understand Chef Terry’s point of them cooking to please people, and see why Sydney’s hurt that he changed everything and didn’t listen to her (because he’s not respecting her and how she’s different to him even though that’s why he wanted to be partners to begin with) and get through stuff with Richie, I reckon Season 4 could end on a relatively happy note.