#carlisle cullen is a dilf

[louisetaylor]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Twilight Series - All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Edward Cullen/Bella Swan, Alice Cullen/Jasper Hale, Emmett Cullen/Rosalie Hale, Edward Cullen and Alice Cullen Characters: Edward Cullen, Alice Cullen, Rosalie Hale, Jasper Hale, Bella Swan, Carlisle Cullen, Emmett Cullen Additional Tags: F Marry Kill, telepathic Edward, Cullen siblings being siblings, Eavesdropping, listeners never hear any good of themselves, unless they do, Seinfeld (TV) References, Comedy, sex is mentioned as a concept but that's it, Marriage, Murder, Carlisle is not present but he is hot, Sarcastic Jasper Hale, Emmett is a himbo, Edward Cullen is Not Gay, Edward loves Bella, No Beta We Live Like Men Summary:

In Midnight Sun, Edward eavesdrops on Bella by reading the thoughts of the girls who sit with her. Creepy, you say? Well, who wouldn't spy on their crush given this golden opportunity? Edward overhears a game of F, Marry, Kill...with the Cullen boys as the subject. Who will win Bella's heart, and who will lose his life?

[marsystars]

for your consideration

[esmeshardwoodfloors]

just...Edward resisting the lure of Bella's blood being such an obvious metaphor for the repression of sexual desire, and then you wonder why the girlies get obsessed with Carlisle Cullen, the handsome local doctor family man who has repressed his Dark Insatiable Hunger for over 300 years like come on

[smolvampiregirl]

I just saw a reel of Carlisle Cullen on Instagram and I think I've finally reached the age where I change from team Edward and team Jacob discourse to team DILF. Carlisle and Charlie are sooo fineeee.

[lady-of-imladris]

Watching Twilight at 14: Carlisle is kinda hot, that deeply unsettles me

Watching Twilight now: DILF DILF DILF

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

time to curse you all with my favourite vid (can you spot michael sheen)

BECAUSE I LOVE YOU MAGGOTS, IT'S TIME TO CURSE YOU WITH WHAT IS LITERALLY MY FAVOURITE THING ON THE INTERNET, A SHITTY TWILIGHT CRACK VIDEO. AND BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS CURSED, MICHAEL SHEEN IS IN IT. WHY OH WHY.

HE'S BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME. LURKING IN A CRACK VIDEO. HE'S ALWAYS BEEN IN MY LIFE. HOW.

[karoliiisz]

¿¿YOU IMPRINTED ON MY DAUGHTER??

¡SHES A BABY!

[marsystars]

carlisle cullen is so fine and for what

[dilfbracket]

Carlisle Cullen (sparkly vampire dad) vs Piotr Rasputin/Colossus (hell yeah metal man)

FAVORITE MAN CAVE ACTIVITY -

"carlisle wouldn't step foot in the garage, that's rosalie's territory and she'd kill him if he overstepped. he sticks to rereading gray's anatomy for the millionth time"

"I think he would prefer to have a catch, but if he has to do a man cave activity, he feels like a tinkering with old radios kind of guy"

[keepingupwiththecullensblog]

🌙✨ Just tuned in to another wild episode of "Keeping Up with the Cullens," and let me tell you, the drama is off the charts! 🧛‍♂️✨

No hand-holding yet, but hey, at least we’ve got some matching outfits. Edward and Bella are giving us major Britney and Justin denim-on-denim vibes from 2001. 😂👖👗 Seriously, guys, it’s 2005—can we please get a hand-hold or something?

The angst and the monster are back in full force thanks to Alice’s vision of Edward killing Bella in the meadow. Edward, could you be any more bipolar? One minute he’s brooding, the next he’s sparkling, and now he’s back to wanting to protect Bella from himself. 🙄🌞🌑 His internal monologue is a rollercoaster ride. He’s all, “I’m going to kill her,” then “I love her,” then “OMG, what if she dies because of me?” Dude, take a chill pill. 🧘‍♂️ One minute he’s the hero, the next he’s the villain. Can someone please get this vampire some therapy? Maybe a nice vampire counselor to work through his “I want to drink your blood but also love you” issues. 🛋️🧛‍♂️

But honestly, the best part of this whole reading is learning about how awesome Carlisle is as a dad. 🥺 He made sure Edward had a Christmas in the early years, and I’m sure Christmas is something they still celebrate every year. Carlisle truly sees the rest as his family, not just a coven. 🎄✨ Carlisle’s basically the Mr. Rogers of vampires—kind, compassionate, and always there to lend a helping hand (or fang). Can we talk about how he’s like the vampire DILF of the century? Whether it's providing fatherly advice, ensuring family traditions, or just being the coolest doctor in Forks, Carlisle is the unsung hero we all need. 🦸‍♂️🏥

So, stay tuned as I dive back into this sparkly, angsty mess. Hopefully, Edward and Bella can figure out the complex mechanics of hand-holding before I lose my mind. Can I at least get more of this DILF if no hand-holding soon? 😏 Imagine the Cullens all sitting around in Christmas sweaters, sipping animal blood hot cocoa. 🧥☕🦌 Wish me luck! 😅✨

[cancmbyn]

Superior 🧛‍♂️

Peter Facinelli as Carlisle Cullen TWILIGHT (2008) dir. Catherine Hardwicke

[nostalgicbytch]

[jogetsobsessed]

Hi! I saw your requests are open, I would like to request with paul with fem!reader if you're interested. Some agnst with paul's anger issues, like they argue and he lost it and hurt reader she's gonna have a scar like a reminder for it. But with fluff in the end?

It's okay if you don't want to, I give it a try! Have a lovely day/night!😊 (English not my first sorry if it doesn't make sense)

The car swerved across the faded yellow lines as more and more tears began to cloud your vision. The pain that was radiating across the left side of your body was paralyzed, and while all you wanted to do was curl into a ball underneath your covers and disappear from the world you knew you couldn't. You weren't really planning on bleeding out tonight. 

Blindly you turned off the road, tires rolling a bit to gain traction once they hit the gravel road. Low-hanging branches were narrowly missed as you charged up the driveway, praying that they wouldn't care about your car spraying gravel everywhere. 

Slowly you put the car into park, grimacing as your body minorly twisted. Heavy breaths left your lips as you gathered the strength to push the door open. You didn't know how long you were actually sitting there in your parked car because every second felt like a month. 

But you could make out the car door clicking open, feeling it softly pull away from where your body was slouched against it. Worried murmurs were all you could make out, as your own breathing was all you could hear in your cloudy eardrums. 

Your body was lifted from the seat, which was easy considering you were already curling into a ball and hadn't bothered to put a seatbelt on. The frigid skin you were pressed against was such a stark contrast from what you were used to being pulled against that it only added to the shock you were in. 

Concerned faces stared down at you, like patrons at a zoo. If you were competent you would have hated this, hating being looked at as weak. But now isn't the time for ego fragility. 

------------

You woke up two days later. 

Laying in one of the Cullens guest rooms you slowly opened your eyes listening for the familiar sounds of the pack, only to be met with radio silence. You had been confused at first, but once you noticed your left arm bandaged everything slowly came rushing back to you. The physical pain of your newly stitched arm mashing with the emotional heartache that you were feeling was overwhelming. 

It was sometime around then when the Cullens made themselves known. The comforting presence of Esme and Alice soothed you slightly as you bit back the waterfalls of tears that no doubt would be released the second you stepped foot behind the solitude of your own home. 

You had to practically get down on your knees and beg Carlisle to let you leave, he wanted you to stay for observation but you needed to get out of there. 

He let you go on the condition that one of his children drive you home, Edward volunteering so Bella would be able to get you inside your house and help you settle in. 

“Y/N are you sure you are good to be by yourself? You can come back to mine, Charlie wouldn't mind”, she was genuine for once, it looked good on Bella. 

“Bell’s as much as I love your dilf of a father, I really just want to be alone”

Her laugh was soft and brought a smile to your face. The two of you hadn't always got along but the both of you realized along the way that having an ally in the girlfriends of supernatural beings club was beneficial. Different struggles took place, but she was easier to relate to than someone like Jessica. 

---------

Bella hadn't been gone for more than an hour when you heard the banging on your front door. Panic shot through you at first. You were lounging in your living room, your brain foggy from sleep and the pain medication Carslile had been kind enough to prescribe for you. 

You felt vulnerable, which was something that you weren't used to, since you normally had your protective presence around you.    

It wasn't stopping, only getting louder and more urgent. 

So in a great effort, you pulled yourself up from the couch, hobbling towards the door. Glancing through the peephole you saw the one person that could stop your breath every single time. 

Even when you thought you hated him, he still had the same effect on you. 

He heard the lock click and pushed the door open, barely giving you enough time to move out of the way. 

Instantly his arms were on yours, as he looked you over. He was visibly wincing at the sight of your heavily bandaged arm. 

“Why are you here Paul?”, the swooning effect was gone, and all the emotions that you had been harboring were coming forward. 

“God Y/N, I was coming to see you, there's no reason to be so hostile”. 

“Hostile, I am being hostile? Paul, I have every reason to be hostile. Last time we were in the same room it didn't exactly end well”, you yelled gesturing towards the bandage. 

He was at a loss for words. 

He opened his mouth and started to speak but nothing came out. 

You couldn't bear to look at him. The look of absolute regret and sadness was shattering your heart. His soft cries were the final straw for you. 

Collapsing on the couch you placed your head in your hands sobbing, shaking your entire body. 

No matter how much you had cried since the incident you still had so much emotion over it.  

He mirrors your actions, falling down next to you. 

------------

“I don't know how I will ever make this up to you. It's not excusable, but I just don't know what came over me”. 

You knew that it wasn't excusable. He had come home and made an over-pack business. You had been cleaning the kitchen, completely minding your own business. But when he burst through the door, he made his business your business. 

You had asked him what was wrong and received no response. He stomped through the house and out the back door. Something came over you and you followed him. In hindsight, you don't know why you did. But once you got out back you saw him throwing stuff into the woods, clearly not caring about breaking anything. 

It was then that you yelled at him to knock it off and act like an adult, not a three-year-old throwing a tantrum. 

Within an instant you were lying on your back, the wind completely knocked out of your lungs. 

“Dr. Cullen said that it could have been worse. Only the upper portion is going to scare. He was able to stitch the lower part tightly enough”. 

“Y/N, every single day I am going to make this up to you if you let me. The scar… it's going to be a reminder that I have to try harder and that I have to be better”. 

“You have to prove it to me Paul. We are not going to just go back to how we are. We need to work past this. But I know we can”. 

“Thank you Y/N. I love you so much and please believe me that I will make it up to you”. 

-----------

There wasn't much fluff at the end, sorry. Let me know if you want a pt 2 potentially to get the full amount of fluff.

[agaypanic]

added charlie swan and carlisle cullen to my writing list bc im in my dilf lover era (also added emmett lol)

[writebythecside]

Posting the cover art for my Ghoulcy Week fic here so I can snag the image url and embed it on AO3.

Fic coming Sunday!

New Moon Over a Wasteland

Lucy hasn't seen any member of the Howard Vampire Coven since Monty broke her heart and yanked away her chance of eternal life the day after her 18th birthday. A decade later, and now a deputy sheriff in a small town in the middle of Nowhere, Maine, Lucy's life is dramatically different. When Cooper Howard, the coven's patriarch, arrives at a crime scene as the new Medical Examiner, Lucy can't help but wonder if he's connected to the string of steadily growing murders, and if he ever discovered the secret she's kept for 10 years.

AKA, my fic for the Ghoulcy Week October 2024 Day #4 Vampire prompt, AKA the Ghoulcy AU fic that bravely answers a question we have all definitely asked ourselves: "What if Ghoulcy existed in a New Moon/Twilight AU where Bella realized Carlisle was a DILF, the Cullens still peaced out but there was no trips to Italy so Bella moved on with her life, until she reconnected with Carlisle years later for a small town murder mystery, and they ended up banging?"