#carina has ideas
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crescenthistory · 7 days ago
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regulus & potter!reader who are best friends who tell each other everything — except for the fact that they’re majorly in love with the other’s big brother.
sirius & james who has never kept a secret from each other — until they went and fell in love with the other’s younger sibling.
poor remus who has to hear it from all four parties, desperately trying to run away into lily’s arm the second one of them approaches him nowadays.
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crescenthistory · 22 days ago
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i am very open for more animagus!reader with regulus or in general 🫣 just drop in my ask box!
i beg more animagus!reader with regulus it’s the cutest
that wasn’t my fic, lovely! Feel free to send @crescenthistory any ideas you have if you’d like her to continue the fic i reblogged :)
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hennike · 2 years ago
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hands off
this week, a hot new bombshell enters the villa! a follow up to rule break (AO3)
Damen is a friendly guy. Ask anyone in the villa, they’ll tell you the same thing: generally level-headed, easy to talk to, the works. Besides the one slip-up last week with Laurent, no one should have anything bad to say about him. He’s cultivated a rather good reputation for himself at the retreat.
Of course, with the way the cameras are trained on him now, that will probably all fly out the window.
“Easy,” Nikandros says. “Keep looking at him like that and he’ll burst into flames right where he’s standing.”
“Sitting,” Damen replies. “He’s sitting.”
Nikandros snorts. “Right. Sorry. He’ll burst into flames where he’s sitting.”
Damen ignores him, busy watching Torveld sidle up too close to Laurent while they talk. His hands flex where they are beside him.
Torveld is the newest addition to their cast, a curveball meant to throw off the dynamic they had already built amongst themselves at the retreat. Damen isn’t stupid; he’s seen past seasons of the show. He hadn’t been concerned, initially. Torveld seemed harmless enough when he stepped into the villa yesterday morning, all charm and easy smiles.
At least, Damen had thought so, until Torveld set his sights on Laurent.
“He isn’t so bad.”
Damen shoots an incredulous glance at Nikandros, but Nikandros is serious-faced, watching Torveld and Laurent just as intently.
From the twenty-four hours Torveld has been with them, Damen knows three things about him: 1) he’s an investment banker (or something just as dreadfully boring, Damen thinks bitterly); 2) he’s got enough body hair to stuff a pillow and then some; and 3) he wants Laurent.
Damen wants to talk shit. It would make good TV if he did, probably, the cameramen probably foaming at the mouth for it. But he isn’t interested in giving them material right now. He’s sure the scowl on his face is plenty generous.
Damen settles on a response as inoffensive as he can muster. He clears his throat. “He’s bulky,” he says, faux conversational, “if that’s something you like.”
Torveld is a lot closer to Laurent now than he was at the start of their conversation. Damen itches to go over and pull them apart, maybe throw Torveld around a bit, maybe kiss Laurent, damn the money, just to stake his claim—anything. He’s sure Laurent would enjoy it, at least.
He doesn’t. Instead, “Someone needs to tell him.”
���Tell him what?”
“That”—Laurent’s mine, I’m his, it’s non-negotiable—“Laurent and I are partnered up.”
“Is that supposed to be my job?”
“If you’re volunteering.”
Nikandros, if his answering silence is anything to go by, is unimpressed.
To Laurent’s credit, he doesn’t seem very interested. Damen knows what Laurent’s interest looks like, has seen it, received it, marvelled at it enough times to know that it isn’t that. Laurent barely even glances Torveld’s way. If anything, he’s politely pleasant at best.
He watches Laurent cross his leg over the other, elegant and unthinking, as effortlessly alluring as he always is. It’s what makes Laurent so dangerous when he’s deliberate about his attraction, the full force of it nearly incapacitating. Damen usually likes that about him, enjoys the effort of resisting his advances, and giving back just as good.
He isn’t so happy about it now, not when Torveld’s hand creeps closer in that moment, probably ogling Laurent enough to warrant several rule-breaks.
Where is Lana when you need her?
Nikandros nudges Damen’s arm, gesturing to Torveld and Laurent. “Looks like they’re done.”
Sure enough, Torveld is getting up to leave. Laurent stays where he is, face turned to the beach as he waves a hand in Torveld’s direction.
When Torveld is gone, Damen immediately springs to his feet. Nikandros is saying something but he doesn’t hear it, instead making his way to where Laurent is seated on a beach chair.
“You and Torveld seemed cozy,” Damen says. He looms over Laurent, too keyed up to sit. He wouldn’t want to sit where Torveld was sitting anyway.
Laurent hums. “Did we?” He leans back on his arms, his head tilted to look up at Damen. Deliberate.
“You tell me.”
Laurent’s mouth quirks up into an almost-smile. Damen can feel Laurent’s eyes on him, shrouded as they are by his sunglasses, and it’s like cool water on too-hot skin.
“Are you jealous?”
Damen says nothing.
Laurent’s smile blooms with delight, sweetly gleeful. Torveld will never have this, Damen thinks, nor will any other newcomer, nor anyone after the retreat is over. This is Laurent’s gift to Damen, and Damen alone.
He stands on his feet, putting himself in Damen’s space, and says, “Down, boy.” He pats Damen’s cheek twice, then drags his hand down to Damen’s chest, where it remains for some beats before he slides past Damen towards the villa.
Damen stands there, unmoving, and feels the weight of Laurent’s hand burn, hotter than the sting of the ocean sun.
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mariocki · 11 months ago
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A Ghost Story for Christmas: The Signalman (BBC, 1976)
"The tunnel collision is the worst to be feared. Your nightmares would go hard to equal it. The wreckage becomes hideously compressed in the confined space. If fire breaks out, the tunnel and its ventilating shafts become furnace flues. You cannot see in the dark to get the wreckage and the bodies out. The screams of the injured and dying echo in a most... persistent way. It's the shape of the tunnel, you see, sir."
#a ghost story for christmas#the signalman#charles dickens#single play#horror tv#1976#bbc#classic tv#andrew davies#lawrence gordon clark#denholm elliott#bernard lloyd#reginald jessup#carina wyeth#rosemary hill#holds a very special place in my heart as not only the first of the LGC Ghost Stories i ever saw (a late night bbc repeat many years ago#and before they were all so readily available) but also as perhaps the first ghost story i ever read: i was gifted a book of ghostly tales#as a small child (a bizarre choice as i was a trembling flower of a child who feared absolutely everything) and i have never forgotten the#cover‚ an illustration of the titular signalman waving his flag in thick mist or smoke. it has remained a favourite tho‚ perhaps bc#it hits on some of my very favourite ideas and tropes in horror fiction: the self fulfilling prophecy‚ the inevitability of an event and#the echoes it casts‚ backwards as well as forwards; horror as a cycle or ouroboros‚ where the victim and the monster (for want of a better#term: the supernatural perhaps) are one and the same but the realisation comes too late. Davies' script works hard to pack a lot of this in#to a modest running time (a notable early work from him and one of his first adaptations of a victorian work‚ something that has become#in many ways the focus of his career and at which he truly excels). largely a two hander between Lloyd's well meaning skeptic and the#peerless Elliott as the troubled railwayman‚ but Clark is working as hard as ever to make the setting and the decor into just as vital#characters (could a more foreboding and significant looking train tunnel even exist? a spectacular find by someone at the bbc)#not perhaps the archetypal LGC ghost story for christmas (it's not a James story for a start) but a genuinely superlative example of#the ghost story as told for the medium of television.
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amara-scott · 10 months ago
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Imagine Mattheo and Theodore fighting over you constantly.
P.1
Reader x Mattheo Riddle / Reader x Theodore Nott
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"The picknick was a good idea, I have to admit." I say, dropping another grape into my mouth, a full mouth turned into a smile. I sneak another one out of the basket Theo is carrying.
I glance over at Theo and he nods, grinning. He winks. "I know, Carina. I always have the best ideas, you should know that by now." I roll my eyes in amusement at his cocky statement.
As if on cue, I see a brown mop of curls rounding the corner, making me sigh. Great. Just great.
"Hey, what a surprise." Mattheo says, not seeming too happy as his eyes land on Theodore beside me. Mattheo shuffles something inside his jacket, flashing white, which I only catch a glimpse of. But I can't even question what it was before these two begin staring each other down.
An undeniably painful pause is the only thing holding me back from just turning around to run away. It's scaring me to even move a muscle. If these two don't sort out whatever is bugging them, I won't hesitate and avoid them both. I really did try to help them befriend each other once more. Their inner rivalry didn't get unnoticed by the rest of our friend group either. What has gotten into them these past few weeks?
"(Y/N), let's get going." Theo's free hand wraps around my wrist, not even glancing at me once while talking. He turns and tries to pull me with him, but not before Mattheo steps up, pushing Theo.
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I stumble with him, still being in the grasp of Theo's strong hand. He let go and I take a step back.
"Excuse me?!" I get out before straightening up, rearranging my cloak. My glare hits Mattheo, but he is fixed on the boy in front of him as they now nearly graze noses. If I didn't know these two, I'd say one of them would be a Gryffindor. That would make sense at least. This is worse than Draco and Harry.
"Where do you think you're taking her, huh?" He grits out, and I can't say a word, too stunned I am being dragged into this ongoing fight now.
"Stop it, both of you!" I yell, but neither of them are backing down, making it really hard not to just ask a Professor to break them off. I glance around, only a few students hushing past, not daring to spare a look.
"We are going somewhere that is none of your concern, Riddle."
"Yeah? I don't think so, Nott."
"Why don't you fuck off and shag one of your whores, mind your own damn business!"
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I had never seen either of them so worked up, which certainly was scary to look at. I try once more, "boys, come on, this is ridiculous." I gulp as they still don't look at me. My heart starts racing, and I try to find a way out that won't result in broken noses or wands at each other throats. What is going on with these two?!
"Come on, (Y/N)." Theo says again, making me debate what I should do. Pick a side? I don't want to be the reason one is more mad or disappointed by what I do.
"No." I mumble, feeling my eyes sting as I blink. I gulp once more, Theo's eyes finding my form a few feet behind Mattheo. His face relaxes as he looks at me.
"See? She doesn't want you, Nott." I can only make out the corner of Mattheo's lips as they curl up into a grin. Which doesn't help my situation.
"I'm not picking a side here, Matt, you are both acting extremely childish over – over, who knows what!" I turn and storm off, ignoring Matt and Theo yelling my name.
These idiots took it too far now. I won't speak a word – won't spare them another glance. Ugh, boys!
___
"-and he pushed Theo! Like a little kid! What is going on with these two?" I sat across from Pansy, piercing my fork into my piece of chocolate cake over and over again until it went mushy and the appetite left me. I sigh, my fork dropping onto the table, and I bury my face into my hands.
"You know them. They will get over it. Theo probably stole Matt's last fudge fly. They're boys, just like you said." She mumbles and keeps chewing on her dessert, eyes scanning the next page of her Witch Weekly magazine.
"I hope you're right." I mutter under my breath.
"Hey you two-" Draco joins us at the table, sitting down next to Pansy, Enzo settles beside me, I send him a brief smile.
"What's pestering you, (Y/N)? Or should I ask – who's pestering you?" He snickers and earns a stare from Pansy, making him shut up.
"Wait – do you know something, Draco?" I ask him and squint my eyes at him. He obviously does, as he stutters for a word, shaking his head. His cheeks slightly pink.
"Enzo, what is going on? Where are the others?" I turn to him, he sighs but shakes his head, sending me a small and sorry smile.
"I promised not to tell anyone. Especially not you, love." I grow irritated with the lot and push myself up, sending another glare at Draco, he would be easier to break. I take out my wand, holding it by my side and start boring holes into his head. He tries to avoid my deathly stare. But then he makes the mistake of connecting his eyes with mine.
"If you won't tell me right now where they are, I will personally make sure to have you grow a second nose every day, for the rest of the year – you will smell things you wish you didn't –"
"– come on, (Y/N), we promised –"
"– In the library, in the far back corner on the second level –" Draco squeaks, making Enzo glare at him in shock.
"We promised, Draco!"
"I don't care, I know she'll do it. I don't want a nose on my bum one morning! She knows how to get into our dorm." Draco snarls and glares at the table as I hurry off. Pansy only smirking and eating her second dessert in peace.
"Go get them!" She calls out without looking up and I wave her off, pushing past a few people on my way. My heart is racing and I don't know if I want to even meet these idiots. I promised myself to ignore them. Well that didn't take long for me to break.
I round the corner and walk into the library. My racing thoughts made this quiet place unbearable as I heard every damn thought of mine. But just as I take the last couple steps on the stairwell, I am met with hushed shouting.
"– how about you're both idiots? I really am hungry and if you two make me miss dinner, you won't sleep another night –" I hear Blaise taunting. I glance between a few books on the shelf, making out three heads. There they are. Blaise sits by the window, I could see his face clear as day. Theo sat sideways, eyes turned to the table in between them both. Mattheo on the other hand stands, pacing back and forth. He stops, just as my breath.
"Theo simply has to admit that he went behind my back. He took away the only thing that really mattered –"
"The only thing that mattered? The only thing that mattered to you was to simply get laid! Like always – just pick a different girl!" Theo stands up too now, Mattheo stepping up to his figure.
Blaise suddenly steps between them, hands on either chest and looks back and forth. "Hey, boys, you truly think we haven't had these lines already tonight? You're both ridiculous."
So this is about a girl? Is this about –
"Well, (Y/N) would never pick someone like you."
Shit.
"Like me? You're one to talk, Nott – stealing her from me, right after I told you I liked her. I trusted you, you are supposed to be my fucking best mate!" Their hushed voices are not so hushed anymore and I glance down to Miss Pince's desk. She narrows her eyes, scanning the upper level.
Blaise is struggling to hold Mattheo back now, Theo's lips curling into a smirk. I lean closer, my eyes still wide. How do they both like – me? Is this a stupid prank?
WHACK!
I was obviously leaning onto the shelf a bit too much as a book fell to the ground. Their heads turn to me and I could now clearly see all of them through the opening. I give them a weak smile and wave. "Hey –"
"(Y/N)?" Theo asks, stepping forward, around the shelf. I meet him half way, Mattheo’s eyes as hard as stone. My mouth feels dry while I try to think of what to say. I shrug and try to smile. My eyes land on Blaise who seems relieved, sighing as he walks up to me and wraps an arm around my shoulder, glancing between Theo and Matt.
“Maybe you’re the best to talk to them right now.” He pats my shoulder and turns to leave, I turn my head, wanting to tell him to stay, my heart racing. Blaise stops, glancing back at me. “Good luck.” He smirks and skips down the staircase. I really don’t want to turn back around so I take my time, gulping as I focus on both their shoe pairs instead of any eyes. Theo steps up slowly. “Carina, what did you hear?” My eyes shoot up at his question and Matt huffs, falling back into a cushioned arm chair.
“Obviously she heard it all. Otherwise she would be smacking our heads by now.” He mumbles at the end, his head held high as he’s glaring down at his knees, his hands squeezing the soft armrests. His sharp jaw clenching every now and then.
“I- I really-“ I take a deep breath shaking my head. “- don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything.” Theo sends me a small encouraging smile. Matt’s head rolls back as he groans out.
“Oh please, stop that stupid emphasizing scheme!” Matt stands back up and joins us, glaring at Theo in disgust. Theo just rolls his eyes, turning to him.
“Just because you’re cold-hearted and only care about yourself doesn’t mean everyone has to-“
“-oh I only care about myself? You’re one to talk, fucking backstabber-“
“-Me? You are-“
“Hey!” I yell out, them both turning to me as they are once again almost choking each other. I ignore a few shushes thrown our way. Mattheo’s eyes soften as I look directly at him. His lips part and in his eyes I see that he’s struggling to hold back from saying what’s on his mind. “Matt-“ I get out, holding back my own emotional rollercoaster.
“I- I can’t-“ He stammers, rushing past me and running down the stairs, leaving. I walk up to the railing, my hands closing around the cold wood while I am looking after him.
“It’s true, isn’t it?” My head snaps around, Theo’s sad eyes glossy. He looks down, stepping closer and stops a foot from me. His eyes wandering back up, like he’s taking one last good look at me. Taking me in.
“It’s always been him.” He continues.
———
For part two choose your ending:
Mattheo
Theodore
Third ending?... (coming soon)
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miloformula123fan · 9 months ago
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Could you do fic for Fernando Alonso with wife reader where he's got into crash and she's worried because she thinks he'll never got the chance to know that she's pregnant? Add something you'd like. Thanks :))
ahahah, i know i just said that i was gonna halt updates, but then i churned this out kinda quick haha :)
it is kind of short though so apologies :)
if you want to participate in my 100 followers event, look here :)
(hint hint: this closes on Thursday 1st March 0:00 GMT, so if you want to make a request do so soon because this is in a little more than a week when publishing this :))
Please keep requesting - y'all have awesome ideas we agree on a lot of stuff :) - my guidelines are here, and if you want some prompts, they are here.
also feel free to come in and start chatting to me in my asks, would love to get to know y'all better
and if you want to be added to my taglist lmk :)
fernando alonso x wife!reader
“Be safe, please, mi amor.” he held Fernando in her arms as he paused getting ready to turn around and look at her.
“I am always Carina… Podium on the cards for today haha” He smiled
“Ha, got a surprise for you after the race…if you get a podium today of course.” She looked down, smiling, thinking of the surprise she had planned.
“A nice surprise I hope carina…” He winked and Y/N couldn’t help but laugh at the implications of his flirty statement, and the blushes of the mechanics who had heard their conversation.
“Not that kind of surprise, but I think you’ll be happy nonetheless…” She smiled knowingly as he looked slightly puzzled before the activity seemed to pick up and was aware he needed to start getting ready.
“As long as you are feeling better than you were this morning I will always be happy.” He smiled and kissed her on the forehead.
She gave him his traditional pre race good luck kiss and then his helmet was on his head and he was in the car.
Y/N snuck into Nando’s room, being let in by his trainer Alex. She placed the box on his massage table. It was a pretty simple box, all that was inside was a sonogram, a baby onesie and the positive pregnancy test that was gonna change their lives. 
She’d been feeling sick for a couple of weeks now, and when she’d missed her period she’s had a hunch as to what it could be, but it wasn’t until she had bailed on a triple header because she hadn’t been feeling well, that she’d had time to take the test, freak out about how positive it was.
(she’d called Mark in a panic, and then he’d added Jenson to the call in his panic and then they’d just had Mark, Seb and Jenson on a call freaking out, not helping her to calm down in the slightest, but making her laugh. Eventually Hanna had tried to work out what the fuck was going on with her husband, and had provided some actually useful advice)
Following Hanna’s advice, she’d gone to the doctors and gotten the ultrasound photo. She’d sent Hanna and Lance a photo of the ultrasound, to thank Hanna for her help in the boys panic call, and to let Lance know that he would be the godfather (she thought Nando would like that) but not to tell Nando, as she hadn’t told him yet, but she needed to tell someone. The doctor had confirmed that everything was going okay and that she was about 10 weeks along. Y/N had immediately spotted the onesie online and ordered it, preparing to tell Nando whenever she saw him. The onesie arrived fairly quickly, however, trying to keep the onesie, the test and the sonogram hidden from him for the week that he was home before the Spanish grand prix. She wanted him to know immediately because they’d been trying for so long and so many fails that it was a fucking miracle right now.
Their miracle. Their miracle baby.
Finally the week had arrived and she’d hidden the box with Nando’s personal trainer, who handed it to her after she’d given her good luck wishes to him and he’d sat in the car. She made sure to make it back for the start of the race, so as to not raise any suspicion. And then it was lights out and away they went.
The race had been going well for Fernando. Actually better than well. He was in P2, not even a second behind Perez. It had been helpful that Max had had his first mechanical failure in like 5 years, taking him out of the lead, and promoting everyone up a place. And now Fernando was contending for the lead. Y/N was so excited for him, she couldn’t wait to see him on the top step of the podium and then tell him the awesome news.
Of course then it all went horribly wrong.
Crofty’s voice filled her ears, “AND THAT’S FERNANDO ALONSO GOING FOR THE LEAD OF THE SPANISH GRAND PRIX GOING FOR HIS 33RD WIN GOING AROUND THE OUTSIDE OF SERGIO PEREZ AND THEY TOUCH AND THAT’S BOTH OF THEM GOING INTO THE BARRIERS AND OUT OF THE RACE WHICH PROMOTES LANDO NORRIS INTO THE LEAD OF THE SPANISH GRAND PRIX AND THAT’S A BIG CRASH. FERNANDO IS WEDGED BETWEEN PEREZ AND THE BARRIERS, AND HIS CHASSIS LOOKS CRUSHED and we are really hoping that he is okay there.”
“Fernando, Fernando do you copy?”
No response.
“Fernando, Fernando do you copy?”
Y/N could feel her legs getting weak, and could tell that the people around her were holding her up. She remembers being introduced to Shakira at the start of grand prix, and she complimented her nails. She could feel the nails digging into her left arm, which meant that Shakira was holding her up right now, and if Fernando's life wasn’t at threat, she might be fangirling right now. Still no response.
“Fernando, Fernando do you copy?”
No response. Their miracle wasn’t going to meet their dad
“Fernando, Fernando do you copy?”
fuck.
“And while i’m not entirely sure why Fernando wasn’t responding on the radio just then, but I can now tell you that he is walking out of the crash and he seems all okay.”
Y/N breathed a sigh of relief and tried standing up while letting out wet sobs. She knew she was probably on TV right now, looking a mess, being held up by Shakira and crying when her husband was all okay, but that didn’t matter.
Because Fernando was okay.
She followed his progress on the TV as the team moved the focus to Lance and potentially getting him a win. But she tracked him until he was back in the garage and back safe in her arms. Whispering his reassurances to her.
This was also being broadcast, but she didn’t care. 
He was safe and he was in her arms.
Y/N followed Fernando into his driver's room, entirely forgetting about the surprise that she had left in his room until they came in and she saw the box sitting on the massage table. 
Fernando turned around to her in confusion, “Did you leave this here Carina?”
“Uhh, yeah but it’s nothing, it was supposed to be a surprise for when you got your podium, so look at it later maybe…”
Within 2 strides Fernando was at the box and lifting off the lid. There goes the plan of telling him when he was in a good mood.
Fernando pulled out the onesie, black with a message of ‘daddy’s little race engineer’. Maybe Y/N’s hormones were hitting hard today because the sight of Nando holding a baby onesie was enough to bring her to tears, imagining Nando holding their baby.
“What is this carina?”
“It’s ummm, the surprise I mentioned before…I wanted you to see it when you got your podium, so you can ignore it I guess…”
“No, no, I mean, why is there a sonogram, baby onesie and pregnancy test in here? Is Lance having a baby and wanting to let me know I was the godfather?”
“No, no, mi sol, it’s ours.”
“Ours?”
“Our baby.”
Y/N watched as Fernando processed the words. And then all of a sudden she was being picked up and spun around in a hug as Fernando cried at her.
“Our baby…oh Carina…our baby! I’m so happy right now.”
He was practically yelling, so a few team members came to see what was going on. And then walked in on a happy couple, sobbing to each other as they curled up on the floor. A baby onesie in one’s hands, and the sonogram in the other.
And all of a sudden the media could wait.
---
taglist: @leosxrealm, @pear-1206, @tallrock35, @janeholt3
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azfellco · 1 year ago
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Crowley before The Fall
Ok, so I love angelology, it's so interesting to me and is one of the main reasons I found out about Good Omens.
We all know Crowley used to be an angel and helped build some nebulas, but that was it from season 1.
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I found interesting this comment from season 2
"You'd have to be a throne or a dominion, or above".
- Muriel (S2E6 07:32)
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Crowley had access to the files, meaning he was a very high ranking angel, let me explain:
In christian catholic angelology there's 9 chorus (types of angels) divided into 3 ranks (being the 1st rank the highest) so we have:
1st rank
• Seraphim
• Cherubim
• Thrones
2nd rank
• Dominions
• Virtues
• Powers
3rd rank
• Principalities (Here's Aziraphale)
• Archangels
• Angels
Considering the duties from the 1st rank and dominions (from the 2nd rank) I consider Crowley was a throne, here's why:
- Seraphim are the caretakers of God's throne, continuously singing "holy, holy, holy", they have 3 pairs of wings and they use one of the pairs to cover their faces from the light of God. "The Burning One".
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- Cherubim protect the entry into the garden of Eden, and they continue to guard holy spaces where God dwells and Heaven and Earth overlap. "The One who Blesses". (Aziraphale has the characteristics of a Cherub, but I'll explain that on another post).
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- Thrones hold the throne of God, they're depicted as great wheels containing many eyes, and reside in the area of the cosmos where material form begins to take shape. They mete out divine justice and maintain the cosmic harmony of all universal laws.
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- Dominions help keep the world in proper order, they're know for delivering God's justice into just situations and help angels in lower ranks stay organized to perform their work well.
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"Let there be matter, let there be gravity, let there be everything from pages 11 to 3,000,602 inclusive".
- Crowley (S201 01:10)
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"I wasn't the original concept designer, but I worked very closely with upstairs on it".
- Crowley (S201 02:10)
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Crowley: Gravity, it's, umm... A thing that happens when objects are pulled together. In this case, they're all pulled downwards because the earth is the largest thing around.
Jim: Why?
Crowley: Honestly, I don't remember. Seemed like a good idea when we were all talking about it.
- (S2E3 16:35)
Crowley made the nebulas Elephant's Tank, Carina and Horsehead (with Saraqael); also helped create the star factory (universe).
Also, at The Fall, some angels from every chorus fell, so it would be no surprise if a throne fell as well.
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captainuranium543 · 4 months ago
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Naming headcannons for the main ship's kids that nobody asked for (no gruvia though I'm sorry but I don't have any ideas for them)
Nalu
- Lucy would want to name one of her kids Layla I firmly believe that
- I don't agree with most names I see cuz it seems like most of the time it's just a remix of the names natsu or Lucy HOWEVER Luna is literally just nalu in reverse and that is too fucking funny to me not to include
- I think that a lot of the names Lucy would like would be things from story books she read when she was younger, I imagine her kids names would be Shakespearean (not unheard of in fairy tail ie. titania) or from some other famous literature.
- this is kind of a weird one but for some reason I firmly believe all of the names they would like would be 2 syllable ones, nothing more or less I don't know why but it feels right.
-Natsu is a little harder to imagine what he would like as a name but I think honestly as long as it sounded good like was a good sounding word he'd be happy.
I think they'd like the name hana, no reason why I just think they would
Gajevy
- as opposed to the nalu 2 syllable names I think they're kids would all have very short, one syllable, names. It just feels right.
- I think the names for their kids would be made up words. As in names that don't exist. This is because the names they like would all be in ancient dead languages that levy studies or in ancient draconic which gajeel has been learning (in my head its real)
- if they end up having twins like in the mashima art I think.levy would name one kid and gajeel would name the other
- I like the sound of the word Chen, idk what it would mean but it's sounds right so fuck it it means smth cool af in draconic
Jerza
- this is a little unrelated but honestly I think they'd have the most kids because they adopt almost exclusively, these 2 are building a fucking sports team, single handedly running orphanages out of business.
- also I think they'd keep erzas last name, all their kids would have the last name scarlet because it's special to both of them in a way and jellal likes it.
- oldest kid is def named simon I do not take criticism
- other names would all be star based names that jellal thought of (He is in charge of naming because erzas idea of a good name is like bladestorm the obliterator or smth)
- Rigel, Carina and Juno are some names I think they'd use HOWEVER every single fucking kid has a middle name that is some kind of weapon because erza needs to win at least a little.
- welcome to the world, little Simon double edged Battle Axe Scarlet
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upat4amwiththemoon · 1 year ago
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If you still write for Station 19 can I request a Marina x reader fic where Maya and Carina find out R has asthma while on a evening walk? Like the weather is nice and all three are off so they decide not to waste it and go for a stroll? Thanks in advance and if you don't write for S19 then disregard this 😅
Asthma
Summary: Sometimes there isn’t enough air.
Pairing: Marina x female!reader
Warnings: asthma attack that borderlines a panic attack
Word count: 681
a/n: this is for everyone who has to try to hide their wheezing while going up the stairs with someone <3 this fic is literally what happened to me lololol (I have asthma!!)
masterlists | guidelines
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Maya, Carina, and Y/N are walking along a small park near their home. The sun is setting down alongside a hill, and the cool autumn air is moving the few already fallen leaves around. There aren't many clouds in the sky, making the brightest stars already visible on the evening sky.
Y/N smiles, closing her eyes as she takes a deep breath, smelling the fresh air around them. They all wanted to get out of the house, starting to feel a little like the walls were falling down on them, especially Y/N, as she doesn't have the same crazy schedules as her girlfriends.
"Want to go up the hill to see the sunset better?" Maya asks, knowing how much Y/N enjoys seeing the sky change its colors.
They all decide it's a good idea, so they start to walk towards the hill. From further away, it deosn't seem like a too big of a climb. However, as they continue walking, Y/N can properly see how steep the hill is. She can feel her breathing get heavier and quicker the moment they step foot on the base of the hill, but she doesn't say anything. It's just a hill, she feels embarrased to struggle while her girlfriends walk on with ease. At the middle of the hill, Y/N's pace begins to slow down. Her breaths in and out are short and quick paced, but she makes them as quiet as possible so Maya and Carina wouldn't hear. She continues pushing on.
Right before the top, the hill becomes even steeper. Maya and Carina are already at the top, enjoying the way the sun is painting the sky. At the last steps, Y/N's breathing turns audibly wheezy, getting her girlfriends' attention. They walk over to her, worry clear on their faces as they try to ask Y/N what's wrong, but she can't hear properly through the thumping in her ears.
She feels Carina’s hands gently pushing her to the ground. She sits down, her panicked eyes moving between Carina and Maya. “I c-“ she gasps, her lungs feeling like they’re collapsing, “I can’t breathe.”
“You have to calm down, bellezza.” Carina rubs her back, while Maya helps her take off the tight shirt she is wearing. “Take long and deep breaths for me.”
Y/N follows Carina’s instructions to the best of her abilities. It takes a while for her breathing to settle down, which scares both Maya and Carina, as they’ve never experienced something like this with Y/N.
Once Y/N’s breathing is normal, though slightly heavier, Maya grabs her still shaking hand. “What happened?”
“I have asthma.” Y/N tells with a sheepish look on her face.
Her girlfriends look shocked, and slightly alarmed they weren’t made aware of her condition. “Where’s your inhaler?” Maya is frowning.
“I don’t have one.” She mumbles, biting her lower lip. “Well I do, but I haven’t picked up my new dose yet.”
“That could’ve ended very badly, bellezza.” Carina sets her hands on Y/N’s cheeks, making her look at her. “You have to tell us these things so we know what to do when something like this happens. You also need to have an inhaler with you at all times.” Her doctor voice comes out, which Y/N usually finds very attractive, but right now she just feels like a scolded child.
“I know. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”
Maya helps Y/N up, giving back her shirt that she slips on. “Tomorrow morning, we’ll go and get it right when the pharmacy opens.” She states, leaving no room for negotiation.
Y/N nods with a small smile, her gaze moving to the sky. “The sun has already set.” She pouts, feeling guilty they missed it because of her attack.
“It sets every night, we’ll catch it again.” Carina tubs her back while they start walking down the hill and back to their house, now in a much slower pace. “But lets not up that hill again.” She grins, kissing Y/N’s cheek.
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oneshotnewbie · 9 months ago
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What if Marina x daughter!reader are chillin at home together when Maya gets called to a 5alarm fire. Reader has major anxiety when Maya goes to big fires. Carina tries to calm her down, but gets called in to help with patients being sent to GreySloan from the fire. Reader has to come with Carina to the hospital and sees some of those injured in the ER before making it to Carinas office. Reader begins to follow all the news alert from the fire and starts to panic and worry for Maya. She’s in the midst of a full panic attack by the time Carina can check on her. Maya comes to the hospital with the last of the patients and goes to Carinas office and only then does reader begin to calm down, surrounded by her mothers.
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ᕚ---ᕘ
Dusk fell over the city as Maya, Carina and you decided to spend a cozy evening at home, cooking together and enjoying the free time as a family. The atmosphere was one of heartwarming laughter and the familiar smell of delicious ingredients.
Maya had taken the evening off to spend more time with you. Her job as a firefighter often involved unpredictable events and long working days, which is why such evenings together were particularly precious for your little family. The three of you worked in sync in the kitchen as the sound of happy chatter and laughter permeated the walls. You helped prepare the ingredients while the blonde prepared the aromatic lasagna sauce and made plans for after dinner.
A colorful sight spread across the airy kitchen. Fresh vegetables, fragrant herbs and a variety of spices covered the work surface. The food processor whirred while the Italian woman prepared the dough for fresh pasta. You, stood behind her to look over your mother's shoulder with curious eyes and pick up some tips.
“It smells so good!” You whispered enthusiastically and the two smiled at you, Carina briefly pulling you close to place a kiss on your temple. "It'll taste really good too, Bella."
The smell of garlic, onions and fresh tomatoes filled the kitchen and mixed with the pleasant atmosphere as you and Maya started to set the dining table. Time seemed to stand still as you sat down a short while later and approached the home-made meal that was filled with love. "You really have a talent for the kitchen, y/n. Maybe you should think about becoming a chef." Carina said, clearly proud of you, and you laughed. "Maybe I will. Or I'll become a firefighter. Or at least a surgeon.."
But before everyone could take the first forkful of lasagna, the shrill sound of Maya's radio pierced the harmonious silence. All three froze for a moment before the blonde looked around apologetically, narrowing her eyes. "I'm sorry, but I have to check this. It's an emergency call," she explained as she stood up and hastily searched for the device that was lying on the living room table. "A serious fire in a high-rise building requires 19 to be present immediately."
The joy in the air seemed to fade as the reality of Maya's responsibilities as a firefighter became present again. You looked over at her worriedly as she hurried into the bedroom and put on her firefighter uniform before saying goodbye to you with a quick kiss on the forehead to face the unknown of the new mission. "I love you guys. I'll be back as soon as possible."
With a final, determined look, she left the house, leaving you with a fearful heart. The laughter stopped and the kitchen, which had previously been filled with joy, now seemed quiet and deserted.
For the next minutes, your home became enveloped in nervous tension. You could already see the images of the blazing flames and the sound of the sirens in your mind, unable to get them out of your head. Your fear seemed to grow stronger with each emergency call. The idea of your mother having to fight fire in dangerous situations put you in a constant state of fear and panic.
Carina clearly sensed your fear and tried to calm you down with all her care. She would often sit with you and talk about the importance of Maya's job and how she was well trained and experienced. But your thoughts weren't so easy to calm down. Your fears enveloped you like a thick fog that made your heart feel heavy. "Amore mio, I promise you, Maya knows her job very well. She is strong and has the right training. You have to trust her."
You nodded, but the look of pure panic remained in your eyes as your heart pounded wildly in your chest and your body began to tremble. You couldn't keep your mind off your mother. Every time Maya was called to a new mission, your heart clenched with worry and you could hardly breathe. The persistent fear that permeated you overshadowed the present.
"She'll be back safely. You don't have to worry, okay? The safety of the team members at Station 19 is the top priority for everyone involved," she tried again, trying to ease the uncertainty in your eyes and complete the dinner. "Mom is a professional at what she does."
The smells of the now cold dish disappeared and your mind continued to wander when another beeper rang. This time it was Carina's. It was another emergency call that forced your other mother to come to work in the emergency room.
"I have to go to the hospital, sweetheart. The patients affected by the fire are being taken to Grey Sloan. I'm needed," she explained softly, her brow furrowing as she placed a hand on your shoulder. The words triggered another wave of panic in you that you could no longer suppress. "Please, not you too. Please stay here. I'm so scared. Please!"
“Hey, hey, hey,” she spoke carefully and stood up, pulling you into a tight hug. The gentle sway of her arms barely stopped your running tears, your body trembling in her arms. "If it calms you down, you can come with me and read some books in my office. I don't want to leave you alone with your fears."
ᕚ---ᕘ
The sun had already set when you and Carina rushed into the busy emergency room at Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital. The panic in your eyes reflected the constant fear for your mother. Carina held your hand tightly, trying to calm you down as she navigated you down the hallway.
The atmosphere in the emergency room was intense. Doctors and nurses rushed from one patient room to the next while paramedics carried in the injured. The smell of disinfectant and the muffled murmur of conversation filled the air. You could feel the knotting tension inside you, getting worse by the second as you walked past the beds filled with people with burns and serious injuries. The image of Maya and the chance of her also ending up in the hospital injured like the rest of the people crept into your mind and your heart began to ache with fear once more.
Your mother led you to her office on the top floor, which was shielded from any hectic activity. "You can safely wait here, love. I'll see what's going on and make sure mom comes upstairs to you as soon as she returns from her mission."
You nodded and slowly walked into the room. Carina gently squeezed your shoulder again before leaving the office and heading back to the emergency room, leaving you alone.
Sitting on the chair next to the door, you tried to organize your thoughts. The images of the injured people in the emergency room were burned into your memory. A tingling sensation ran through your body and you forced yourself to take a deep breath.
The hum of muffled conversation filtered through the closed door as you watched the time and waited for your mothers. The scenes played out in your head of your mom fighting the flames and your mother caring for the injured. The thought of your mothers operating in this chaos increased your fears.
The time in the hospital crept by slowly, and your thoughts continued to revolve around your parents, especially Maya. You couldn't suppress the worry inside you, so you began meticulously monitoring the messages on your phone as you paced around the room. As the first reports of the fire came to you, you felt your fear building at a rapid pace.
With every word you read, another tidal wave of panic seemed to build. The images of fire and smoke described on the news hit you like a blow. You could literally feel the burning intensity of the flames burning your skin.
Your heart was racing, your hands were shaking, and your breathing was becoming shallower. The news reports seemed to confirm your worst fears, and the idea that your mom, Maya, was in the middle of a dangerous inferno almost made you lose your mind. But then the door opened and Carina stepped in. Her expression was serious, but the change in your features made her rush to you immediately. "Y/n, Bella. What happened?"
You could barely find your words as you turned over your phone to see the newscaster exclaiming about the terrible news. "Mom's still in there. She's in danger."
Carina tried to stay calm herself to stabilize you. She hugged herself tightly and walked with you to her desk, your eyes fixed on the closed door, hoping that Maya would soon be at your side as the relentless clock continued to tick. "Mi amore, the media often tends to be more dramatic in its reporting. Let's wait for official news before drawing conclusions, okay? If something had happened to her, Andy or Jack would have already called."
The brunette's words barely reached your frightened soul. The dark panic attacked and overwhelmed you with full force, and you felt the world around you begin to spin. Your chest felt tight and the world blurred before your eyes.
You sat on a chair, surrounded by white walls that, in your agitated state, looked like the shadowy scene of a nightmare. The brightness of the hospital lights seemed ominous, and the silence of the room was overshadowed by the deafening sounds of your own fears.
Thoughts of Maya's possible danger lost all reason. Every time you tried to breathe deeper, the air seemed to disappear like a scarce resource, and the flames of fear only flickered higher. Your gaze was blank and frozen, caught in a whirlpool of terror and worry.
Carina reacted immediately and pushed you into her desk chair. She tried to calm you down while you were overwhelmed. "Breathe with me, sweetheart. Inhale deeply and exhale slowly. I'm here, love." she whispered softly.
The panic attack was reaching its peak, but with each calming touch and empathetic word, the wave seemed to slowly subside. The Italian kneeled down in front of you and placed her hands gently on your knees. "Y/n, listen to me. We can do this together. We will erase this fear together." The words were difficult to reach you, but she didn't let go of it. She tried to calm you down with slow breaths. You gasped for air, but gradually, the control of your breathing returned.
Time stretched, and with every breath you fought your way out of the shackles of panic. The cries of fear became quieter and your vision gradually cleared. Carina held you tightly as the last remnants of fear coursed through you.
While your mother slowly got you back to normal breathing, Maya entered the emergency room exhausted, accompanied by the last patients of her risky fire mission. The experiences of today's fight against the flames had left them scarred.
The sounds of the emergency room came through the front door as she pushed herself through the crowd. She felt the exhaustion in her bones, but the thought of seeing her daughter and her wife again was the only bright spot after the tiring hours. Climbing the stairs to the upper floor, she soon entered her wife's office. You both looked up as the door opened suddenly, a relieved smile lighting up your features. "Mom, you're back!"
Maya nodded tiredly, her uniform marked by smoke and ash as you rushed into her arms. "How are you doing?" She asked you, but you didn't answer and instead snuggled closer to her. A questioning look rushed over her face and she pressed her lips together before looking at Carina, who stood up and immediately walked up to her. "She had a severe panic attack when news of the fire first surfaced. I calmed her down, but she was very worried about you."
Her heart clenched and she pulled away from you. Not hesitating for a second, she placed her fingers under your chin and forced you to look up at her. Your eyes were bloodshot and your cheeks were still wet from crying. "I'm here, y/n. Everything's fine, see?"
You sobbed quietly, the tears trapped in your panic now flowing with a sense of relief as you took a deep breath. The pent-up tension slowly let go. "I was so scared, mom. The news... I thought you..."
Maya held you closer to her. The three of you stood close together, soaked in the warmth of reunion. The flames of fear in your heart were extinguished, and in that moment you found comfort and support in her arms. "I'm here, and I'm safe. You don't have to worry."
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crescenthistory · 17 days ago
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au where remus and reader are childhood best friends because they both got bitten young and somehow ended up in the same support group or something along those lines, bonding intensely over this experience no one else seems to get, soulmate level friendship that would turn into olympic level pining at hogwarts.
reader wearily watching remus get close with the marauders, incredibly happy for him but worrying about what will happen should they find out. when the boys do find out, remus doesn't tell you right away for that very same reason, knowing it's a sensitive topic.
it comes up casually when the five of them are hanging out because sirius makes some poor attempt at a joke "you know what wolfs are like, right y/n?", intended as a quip about your decade long friendship with a werewolf but you think it means remus has told them about you too.
just your world coming crashing down when the one person you trusted the most, the person you're slowly realising you love more than friends should love each other, betrays you like it's nothing, laughing with his new flashy friends.
miscommunication trope angst, avoiding remus like the plague after until he comes up to you in borderline hysterics, begging to know what he did wrong and how he lost you after everything. confession and healing and all that good achy stuff.
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five-bi-five-mind · 1 year ago
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Carina x Reader.
The Italian shows off her possessive and dominant side when she sees reader talking/flirting with someone at the bar.
Preferably degradation first then with praise, wouldn’t mind strap too(on either!) , marking, spanking, overstimulation and edging 😍🙏🏻
Can You Do That For Me?
Fandom: Station 19
Pairing: Carina DeLuca x fem!reader
Words: 5.4k+
Genre: Smut
Summary: Carina has a possessive side and even if you're oblivious to how jealous you're making her, she's definitely going to teach you a lesson.
Warnings: slight degradation & praise; slight dom/sub dynamics; marking; strap-on use (r receiving); a tiny bit of spanking; oversitulation; jealous/possessive behavior; dumbification; fingering (r receiving); oral (r receiving); edging; kinda rough sex; top!Carina, bottom!r; mirror sex; if I forgot something let me know...
A/N: I might have gone a little soft on some of the things you requested but I hope you like this. This is basically just pure and utter smut oops... also wanna note I only have completed one year of Italian so DeepL was my friend.
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It was almost entertaining how clueless you could be. Carina watched from a distance as you chatted up a few people around the bar. She hadn’t even left your side for that long before you were surrounded. The gala she took you to was packed with familiar faces, so she had to go be personable and greet everyone who came. You insisted on getting both of you a drink while she went and talked to people you didn’t really know. To be honest, you were a little uncomfortable at these things. Usually, Carina would keep you clung to her side and even show you off a little bit as her girlfriend. However, this time things were a little bit too busy for her to do that. So, despite Carina’s hesitation, you parted for just a few minutes. Of course, the minute you did the one thing she didn’t want happening happened. 
There were people on all sides of you, chatting you up and you returned their predatory smiles with an innocent one of your own. Carina couldn’t blame them, honestly. You were, after all, wearing a tight little dress that she picked out just for you. If she couldn’t stop staring at the way it hugged your curves and accentuated your legs, then it would only make sense that others were doing the same exact thing. 
Carina couldn’t help the jealous frown she was wearing when she watched as someone ignored your protests to buy you a drink and put in the order anyways. She rolled her eyes when you took it with an apologetic smile. She could practically hear the excuses you were making, “oh you didn’t have to do that” or “that’s so nice of you” or maybe even “let me buy you the next one.” Of course, that drink you were getting for the both of you was forgotten at this point. You were just too surrounded and busy trying to please the crowd of strangers to figure out a polite way to tear yourself away from them. 
You poor thing, she thought. You had absolutely no idea that these people were trying to hit on you. She had tried to get you to understand once before that people who act the way this crowd around you was acting wanted only one thing for you: To have you the way only Carina could have you. Of course, you tried to see the best in people and would never jump to the same (albeit accurate) conclusion that she did. Carina even warned you that the way you were dressed tonight would attract attention. Even if she picked it out for you, she still wanted you to be aware of the reactions it could cause in other people. 
Yet, there you were totally oblivious and sipping on a drink that someone else bought you. People were closing in on you a little too much for her liking. She decided she needed to do something to change that soon, but maybe she’d wait it out just a little bit. See if you actually would catch on to what was going on around you. 
Only, you really didn’t. You kept laughing innocently at whatever bad joke Carina was sure would make her roll her eyes. If she was being honest, you were being a little too friendly toward them for her liking. At this point, you had to know what you were doing, right? Of course, Carina would still bet that you really didn’t. 
What made her finally decide to make her way towards you and the group of flirty people that surrounded you was when one of them decided to be bold enough to actually touch you. It was brief. You barely even noticed it, but Carina did. She thanked her lucky stars that she wasn’t stuck in some smalltalk with another colleague. If she was, then they’d probably see the way her frown grew and the twitch of her eyebrow as she tried to keep her cool.
Carina walked over to you with a mission. Not wanting to give this random person another chance to touch you again. No matter how innocent it may have seemed, Carina knew it was this girl’s way of testing the waters with you. All the people around you had obvious intentions, Carina was sure of it, and that intention was to take you home with them. Carina couldn’t wait to flaunt the fact that she’d, of course, be going home with you on her arm and not theirs. The gala still had a few hours to go before it was over. In reality, you two hadn’t even been there for very long at all, but the more Carina thought about how she could gloat, the more she liked the idea of that happening sooner rather than later. Plus, you were really testing her patiences with all of these people. She had a jealous side and, even if you were oblivious to it, you were really bringing it out of her tonight. 
“(Y/N),” Carina’s voice called your name from behind the group of people around you. You popped your head up over one of the taller men that was directly behind you, chatting with you and the group. When you spotted her, Carina’s frown immediately vanished and turned into a dazzling smile. She didn’t want you to catch on to her jealous mood just yet. She pushed her way, not so politely, through the group that was around you until she was standing next to where you sat at the bar. Her hand grazed your thigh and she bit her lip to hide the triumphant smirk that threatened to break free when she saw a couple people notice what she did. “Let’s go home.” Carina’s hands slid into both of yours and when you nodded in agreement she pulled you up off your seat. 
With your hand in hers, Carina pulled you out of the gala. When she turned back and smiled, you thought it was just a kind gesture towards yourself. Really, Carina was just grinning at all the jealous faces she saw as she walked out with you in tow. 
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you got home you suspected nothing of Carina’s jealous mood. In fact, you were totally oblivious to her silent stewing as she drove. Yes, she was quite smug that she got to disappoint some people when she walked out of the gala with you, but that didn’t quite get rid of the jealousy that was coursing through you. She couldn’t help it really. You were just so clueless to other people wanting you. It was her job, at least in her mind, to fend off all that unwanted attention you sometimes get, but anytime she did that she would be left with this overwhelming feeling of possessiveness. That feeling would always eat at her until she had the chance to put that energy to good use. 
Carina watched you as you walked around the house in that dress of yours like she was a predator and you were her prey. You had no idea she was following close behind as you went to the dresser of your shared bedroom with the intention of getting out of your fancy dress clothes for the night. With your heels off you already felt a little more relaxed from the evening. You started pulling off random parts of your attire. Your necklace, you laid delicately on the dresser top. Then for your earrings, which of course Carina also picked out for you. You paused for a moment, noticing from your view of the mirror that Carina had slipped into the bedroom with you. What you didn’t notice was the look in her eye as she stared you from the door. 
As Carina watched you start to reach for the zipper at the back of your dress she decided now was the time to make her move. “Do you like seeing me jealous?” Carina’s voice came up from behind you. “Hm? Do you like playing this little game?” 
“Carina, I-“ You looked back at her in the mirror as she approached you, a little taken aback by her sudden mood. The look she was giving you caused a shiver to run up your spine. “I’m not sure what you mean? I wasn’t playing any games.” 
“Then why…” She reached you finally, stopping right behind you. Her hands slipped around your body and immediately ran up your chest to practically grope you through your clothes. “Why did you let so many random people hang all over you tonight, if it wasn’t to make me jealous?” 
“I didn’t-“
“Shhh,” Carina cooed. “It’s okay, bambina. I know you like to frustrate me. You like the way I touch you after you’ve tempted me, don’t you?” One of Carina’s hands moved up to grab your chin, forcing you to look straight at her from the mirror. “You love playing these games, so that by the end of the night I’ll fuck you the way you deserve to be fucked. Am I right, my love?” 
You were honestly speechless, but not because you were shocked by her behavior. No, you knew this was something that Carina liked to do. Get all jealous over other people being near you, only to get to go home and stake her claim on you. No, you were speechless because between the way she was practically manhandling you and the way she was looking at you already had you weak in the knees. 
“I’m waiting for an answer, bambina.” She leaned in to whisper in your ear. Her lips grazed the shell of your ear as she spoke and your eyes fluttered closed at the sensation. Carina just smirked at your reaction before dipping down to trail her lips from your jaw to your neck. “You just love all the attention you got tonight, don’t you?” She let go of your chin to move her hands to your arms, running her fingertips up and down them slowly. 
“I’m sure you knew how crazy it would make me when one of them touched your arm like this. Am I right?” She pressed her body closer to the back of yours. “Or when they got a little too close to you like this…” Her fingertips stopped to wrap around your wrists. With her grip, she suddenly pulled both your hands forward until she had them pinned flat on the dresser.  
“C-Carina, I wasn’t doing that on purpose.” Your brain was really struggling to think of responses for her. The truth is, you really weren’t. You had no idea that you were making her jealous. Yeah, when someone bought you a drink you had an inkling she would not love that you accepted it, but you also didn’t know if she even was paying attention to you while you were at the gala. Something tells you, she saw all of it. Especially with the way her hands squeezed around your wrists and how she was practically forcing you to bend over the dresser with her body. 
“It’s a little too late for excuses, mia cara,” Carina whispered before you felt her teeth close down, not so gently, on the most sensitive part of your neck. You let out a gasp at the mildly aggressive way Carina was being with you. No doubt there would be a very visible bite mark on your neck for a few days. It’s going to be interesting to explain that away when you go out in public. “I’m just going to have to remind you…” Carina paused to run her tongue over the fresh bite mark. “...that no one else can have you.”   
Carina’s eyes ran down your body from the mirror before meeting yours again and when they did you saw how blown her pupils were. You were in for it tonight, that much was obvious, but you honestly didn’t mind. If anything, it already had you a little wet just from the anticipation. 
“Keep your hands there,” she ordered before releasing your wrists. You nodded and looked back down at her hands as they began to push up your dress. She stopped when your dress was pushed up above your waist, completely exposing your panties. Embarrassingly enough, they already had a wet patch from how worked up you’ve gotten by Carina’s behavior. It did not go unnoticed by her.
With one finger, she ran the tip of it down your panties and between your folds through the fabric. “I knew you enjoyed seeing me jealous,” She tsked as she repeated her action. Your head hung low as Carina put pressure onto your clit through your panties from just her finger. Her cockiness at already getting you so desperate for her was going straight to her head. Her fingertips played with the elastic to your panties and she looked back up at you. “Look at me, principessa.”
You willed your head to look up and again met her eyes through the mirror. She gave you a wide grin, proud of how obedient you were already being for her. “I want you to look at yourself when I touch you. Know that tonight is the result of your actions.” With that, Carina slipped her fingers into your panties and immediately began circling your clit. Your hips jumped at the direct contact she was making, but soon you were pressing yourself into her touch. 
Small sighs of pleasure left your lips and Carina was soaking in every little reaction she pulled from you. When she moved her fingers lower and traced your entrance with her fingertips, she could feel the anticipation practically radiating off you. Her fingers slid in with ease and once they did, she looked up to see that you were still doing exactly what you were told. 
With a steady pace, she started to pump her fingers in and out of you. Your wetness from all of her actions had already completely ruined your panties, but honestly with the way she was touching you, you didn’t really care. 
Your fingers curled against the dresser, trying your best to grip at it, while also keeping them right where Carina told you to. Her fingers kept moving in and out of you and you could already feel your legs beginning to shake. Carina pressed herself into you more until you were almost completely bent over the dresser, with your head barely able to stay up to keep focused on the mirror. 
Carina leaned herself fully over you, her free hand going to your hair to push it out of the way of your neck before she reattached her lips to the skin there. There was definitely going to be more than one mark now, but that was what Carina loved to do. After nights like this, where she was in a particularly possessive mood, you’d always be left covered in little reminders of what she would do to you. You weren’t complaining much, you just didn’t love the process of covering them. 
When Carina started to feel the telltale signs of your orgasm approaching, she had a wicked idea. Without warning, she pulled out and backed away. It took you barely even two seconds to start whining about the loss of contact. You were so close. “Strip and get on the bed,” Carina ordered. “I want to taste you.”
She stood back and watched, biting back a smirk at the pout you were currently wearing. You still did as you were told almost immediately though, removing your dress and your now ruined panties while still on shaky legs. With a shy look towards her, you walked over to the bed and crawled onto it. 
“Lay down, bambina,” Carina said as she stalked towards you. “And spread your legs. I want you open for me.”
Immediately, Carina could see the blush on your face. “O-okay,” you mumbled as you did exactly what you were told. God, Carina loved the way you instantly listened to her every command tonight. It made her feel that much more smug that she went home with you on her arm and not any of those other people. You were just so deliciously eager and ready to please. 
When Carina knelt between your legs, you watched with awe at the look of desire in her eyes. The need to claim you was so intense in Carina, that even you could feel it. Her hands went to your knees, spreading your legs open even farther. She watched as your thighs glistened from the wetness that dripped down them while she had her fingers inside you. Her mouth watered in anticipation of what she was about to do. She couldn’t wait to taste you, so she didn’t.
Your head fell back on the pillow the instant Carina’s tongue made contact with your pussy. She took one long, slow lick up your folds before wrapping her lips around your clit. Your eyes squeezed shut and both your hands flew to her hair as she sucked on your clit like her life depended on it. You couldn’t help the way your legs shook and squirmed at the intensity of the feeling.
Carina’s lips finally detached from your clit, but her tongue began to trace circles around it. With her tongue still brushing over your clit, she glanced up at you. As much as she loved seeing you totally out of control of your reactions, she wanted to make it hard for you. 
“No, no, no.” Carina pulled back from between your legs. You whined and leaned your head back up, your eyes pleading with Carina to keep going. “I want you to look at me while I touch you. Understand?” 
You nodded desperately, just eager for her to restart what she was doing with her tongue. Carina dipped her head back down and began lapping at your clit again. Her hands slipped from where they held your legs open to move under your ass. With her grip on you, she encouraged you to move your hips with the rhythm of her tongue, squeezing you when you caught on and obliged. 
Carina looked up at you again from where she was between your legs and the sight itself had you close to the edge. You forgot already what you were told and your head started to lean back the moment she took your clit into her mouth again. Carina was quickly bringing you to the edge with just her tongue and the way your hips kept moving against her mouth was making everything overwhelming in the best way. But then it all stopped way too soon. She noticed that your head had dipped back down onto the pillow and her mouth left your clit. You let out another pathetic whine and looked back down at her.
“What did I say, bambina?” She scolded, leaning away from you. “Can you not do this one simple thing? Is it really too hard for you?” 
“I- I can,” You pleaded. “Just keep touching me. Carina, I was so close.”
“You only get to cum if you do what you’re told.” Her tone was stern, but you knew she was absolutely loving the way you were responding to her. 
“I’ll be good,” you reassured. “I’ll do what I’m told.” 
Carina was satisfied enough with that answer and to your relief, her head dipped down again. This time, though, one of her hands left your ass and you felt her fingertips again circle your entrance before sliding in. You groaned and felt your back arch off the mattress at the feeling of her tongue on your clit and her fingers fucking into you, but you never looked away. You kept your eyes glued to the way Carina’s head moved as she sucked on your clit. The way her fingers curled inside you already had your body quivering around her. She was fucking you like her life depended on it and you were already so close twice already, so now it really wasn’t going to take long. 
Carina let go of your clit with a pop. “Do you want to cum, bambina?” she asked. 
You nodded your head fervently. “Use your words,” she ordered, her fingers curling and hitting the spot she knew you loved before you had a chance to respond. 
A moan escaped your lips and your hands tightened in her hair. It took you a moment, but finally you regained some control. “Yes,” your voice was hoarse as you spoke. “Please, I want to cum.” 
“Good girl,” Carina mused before pumping her fingers into you even faster. At this point it was incredibly hard for you to keep your eyes on her, but you still managed. Even with your thighs shaking around her head and your body moving in a messier rhythm with your orgasm fast approaching, you still wanted to be obedient for her. “Cum for me, mia cara.” And after two more strong pumps of her fingers, you were suddenly falling apart around her. 
Carina pulled back from between your thighs, but kept her fingers inside you. She enjoyed the way she could feel your walls tighten and convulse around her and got lost for a moment in the way you looked coming down from your high. But she only allowed herself to enjoy that for a brief minute. She had more plans for you tonight, and she still hadn’t quite worked through the jealous mood you put her in. 
After another moment she pulled her fingers out of you and your body shuddered at the loss of contact. You finally let your head fall back onto the pillow and closed your eyes, trying to catch your breath from how good she just made you feel. Your recovery from essentially being edged until you could cum took all your focus. So much so, that you didn’t notice Carina leave the bed for a moment until she returned and grabbed your legs again.
Yet again, she moved you so that you were open for her. Your head popped up in curiosity to see what she was doing. Honestly, you had a feeling it wouldn’t just stop at one, but you still wanted the chance to take a breath before Carina subjected you to whatever she had planned next. What you didn’t expect was her fully nude with a new, bigger than you were used to, strap-on to be hanging between her legs.
“Carina, that might be too big.”
“It’s okay, bambina,” Carina cooed. “We’ll take it slow.” 
You gulped, but with the hopeful look Carina was giving you, you wanted to do your best to please her. So, with some hesitation, you agreed, trusting Carina to take care not to hurt you. 
“I need you to relax for me,” Carina said as she moved to crawl over your body. “Can you do that for me?”
You nodded again, opening your legs more for Carina to have room. Your eyes were glued between Carina’s legs. It wasn’t the biggest strap-on you’ve ever seen, but it definitely was still something you were new to in general. Usually, Carina preferred to use her fingers so she could feel you as you came for her, so to use toys was somewhat rare. But then again, you knew Carina was in a mood to really see you fall apart beneath her, and you were sure when she started to fuck you with that, you would instantly become a mess beneath her. 
Carina lined the toy up to your entrance, her eyes locked on your face to watch for any signs to stop. You showed none and she started to push in. She took it slow, just like she said she would. Your body tried to relax so you could take in more of the toy and eventually, she bottomed out inside you. You were tight, that much was obvious, but even so you immediately felt the pleasure of being filled more so than you were used to. 
Your body trembled slightly underneath Carina, but seeing the way you were taking her so well broke something inside her. Without much warning, Carina pulled out of you almost completely, before snapping her hips back into you. You cried out at the sudden change in pace, but it wasn’t a bad thing. Your hands went straight to Carina’s hips, holding her there as she pressed her hips harder into yours, trying to bury herself deeper inside you. After a moment, Carina did the same exact thing again, drawing a loud groan out of you. She was mesmerized by your reactions. Once she thought you were pretty used to the feeling of this new toy, she set a steady pace, moving her faux cock in and out of you. Her lips attached themselves to either of your nipples as she went, switching off between the two. When she wasn’t toying with them with her teeth, she was leaving marks all over your chest, alternating between hickeys and bite marks. You weren’t even trying to muffle any of the sounds she was causing you to make. The sounds of your moans plus skin against skin as she fucked you filled the entire apartment. 
Carina sat up without warning, her hands grabbing your hips and pulling your legs to hook around her own waist so she could fuck you deeper. Your eyes rolled back and your hands flew to grab a fist full of your sheets. She was keeping her pace, but the way the toy hit you deeper than you were used to had your head swimming. You could feel Carina’s nails dig into your skin, no doubt leaving more marks on you, as she held you at an angle to keep fucking into you deeper.
Again, she was pushing you towards that edge, only this time you both knew you were too far gone to ask to cum. Luckily, Carina accepted this happily if it meant that she could see you so fucked out for her. She sped up a little, making you move your hips into hers with her grip on you as she kept going. Your body was shaking again and you were reaching your peak once more. You could only hope that Carina would let you cum immediately this time rather than draw it out.
Thankfully, she did. As she kept going, it finally became too much and you came undone all over her strap. She didn’t even give you a minute to come down from your orgasm. Before you even really knew what was happening, Carina slid the toy out of you and flipped your body on the bed. 
“On all fours,” She ordered. 
“Carina, I don’t think I can-”
“One more, bambina,” Carina pleaded, already moving your own knees so that you could be positioned the way she wanted. “Please?”
You just nodded and tried your best to get in the position she asked for, your body still shaking from your last orgasm. Soon, you felt Carina’s hand come down on your ass and your body jumped. She grabbed at your ass for a second before moving herself to yet again position the strap to circle your entrance.
“Bellissima,” Carina practically growled, her hand coming down on your ass one more time. You just whimpered, already eager for what was in store, even if you were feeling a little spent. Finally, Carina entered you again and your head hung down as she immediately started fucking you with a strength you weren’t exactly used to when it came to her.
When she said she was jealous tonight, she was incredibly jealous and that much was clear in the way she was laying claim to you. Her intentions were to completely ruin you tonight and she was doing an excellent job at it. You weren’t the only one lost in the way she was fucking you. The sounds you were making and the way your body shook beneath her had her absolutely floored. If she could, she’d fuck you all night long. Maybe you’d be too spent for that, but she was at least going to try.
Her hips pounded against the backs of your thighs with a force that had your hands slipping from where they propped you up on the bed. You were moaning and whining her name as she kept fucking into your pussy from behind. The whole time Carina was moaning out things in Italian that you could only assume would translate into something filthy. It was embarrassingly quick how close you were to coming already, but Carina was fucking you with a ferocity that had you dizzy and all you could do was moan and struggle to stay in the position she had you in.
With a few more snaps of her hips and another couple slaps of your ass as she fucked you, you were coming on her cock yet again. You let out a pathetic whine that echoed through the room as you came and the way your arms were holding your body up failed you. Your face hit the pillow and you panted into it, your ass only in the air by Carina’s hold on your hips. Carina didn’t pull out though, instead she slowed for just a second before starting her pace again.
“I-I can’t,” you whined. “Not again.”
“Yes, you can, mia cara,” Carina grunted as she kept fucking her strap into you. “Please, please give me one more.”
You whined as her hips continued to push into your own from behind, but still you nodded. Despite already feeling spent and sensitive, you still wanted to please and the way she was practically begging you to let her keep fucking you had you ready to do just about anything. 
With the nod of your head Carina went even faster. Your face pressed into the pillow and you felt a tear fall from your cheek at the overwhelming sensation of her still fucking your already overly sensitive pussy. The feeling of it all was almost too much and your body hadn’t stopped shaking from the last orgasm. Your hands were grabbing at the sheets and your cries as her cock hit deeper inside you were muffled by the pillow. Carina had a firm grip on you and it was as if she wasn’t tired at all with the sheer consistency and power behind each pump of her hips. 
Your eyes squeezed shut as Carina put even more force into the way she was fucking into you. Your walls were yet again quickly tightening around her cock, but she loved the way she could tell you were close to coming again. She also loved the way you were so quick to agree and let her push your limits, even if just a little bit. 
Your thighs burned from the way Carina had them spread and from how long they shook from each orgasm she drew from you. All your muscles felt more sore with each orgasm as well and now, as she fucked you into yet another one that was fast approaching, you were well aware of your every nerve. Another tear fell down your cheek at the almost painful pleasure you were in and your hands trembled as you were seconds away from your orgasm. 
Carina put all her strength into fucking your pussy and after just a little more, you let go again, coming harder than you probably have before. Finally, finally after just a minute, Carina pulled out. 
She let go of your hips too and the rest of your body instantly collapsed onto the bed. Your chest heaved and you turned your head on the pillow for more air. Carina stayed knelt over you for just a moment, taking in the way you looked beneath her. Honestly, you were never more beautiful than you were in this moment, naked and spent on her bed. Covered in her marks, with your thighs glistening with your own cum. She loved when she got to see you like this. 
After a moment, Carina moved so that she could lay next to you on the bed. Her arms wrapped around your still, slightly trembling body. Your breathing steady as she held you in her strong arms. It amazed you that she seemed totally fine and not tired at all. Especially when she was fucking you with all her strength behind it. Either way, you enjoyed this soft shift in her and nuzzled closer into her chest. 
“You did so good for me, bambina,” Carina praised. “But now, let’s get you cleaned up, hm?” 
You hummed an agreement into her chest before she got out of bed and slowly pulled you with her. As you let her lead you to the shower, your legs still weak from all that transpired, you couldn’t help but think you should get her jealous more often.
A/N: once again I feel like I want to emotionally wreck Carina so… send your best angst requests…
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somber-sapphic · 10 months ago
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Hey! I was wondering if you would be down to do the sicktember (I already know my autocorrect is going to hate this 😂) but day 27 I think. The one with Marina x reader and Carina is sick. If not I totally understand
Taking Care of Her
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〖Summary: Carina is sick and not doing a great job at being a patient.〗
〖Word Count: 1.1k〗
〖Pairing: Marina x Reader, Sick Carina〗
〖Notes: I absolutely can! Sorry it took me so long to respond to this one, I wanted to make sure I could have the req with the post. If anyone else has any sicktember prompts they want finished I'll link the post here and you can let me know :)) Apologies for the title, it's late and I cannot think of anything better.〗
☾Masterlists☽
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
“Carina, there’s no way you’re healthy enough to be here. Let me take you home, please.” You begged, hugging a clipboard to your chest as you watched your very sick girlfriend move about the on-call room. It was a slow day in the ER which left you time to chase her around instead of taking blood and treating patients. It also helped that April wanted Carina to go home as badly as you did. 
She had helped run clinic day with Maya and the rest of the crew of 19 a few days ago and had encountered the nasty flu that was going around. She’d actually been forced to deny one man a flu shot and sent him to the hospital to be evaluated by one of the ER docs. That night, she and Maya came home exhausted, making you regret not taking your day off to help them.
To make it up to them, you’d made them both a fancy bath with salts, candles, and scented candles. While they were relaxing in the bath you attempted to cook and when that failed you put in an order for the Italian place down the street. They had been incredibly thankful but Carina had practically fallen asleep in her plate of pasta, leading to an early night. 
The doctor had the next day off so you and Maya had gotten ready quietly around her and she was still asleep by the time the two of you got back that night. That was the first sign. 
There was evidence that she had gotten up, at least to eat lunch, but the fact that she would even consider sleeping the whole day worried you and your other girlfriend. The two of you let her sleep anyway, both of you hoping silently that she could fight off whatever was trying to take hold with a little extra rest. 
Of course, it didn’t. So here you were, trying to convince Carina that it was in her best interest to let you take her home instead of treating patients. There you were, blocking the exit to the on-call room prepared to shove Carina into a bed if that’s what it took. She had driven you there (a bad idea in hindsight) and you weren't sure how long it would take for Maya to get there to pick you up. 
“Y/n, I have mothers waiting for me preparing to push tiny humans out of their bodies. What they are preparing to go to is far worse than this little cold.” She insisted, bringing it back to the mothers yet again. Throughout the whole argument, she had stood firm that she needed to be fine because her patients were not. 
“Come on Car, you have to know that's a stupid point. What if you get them sick? What if you get the babies sick? Masks are great but they aren’t foolproof, what would happen then?” You challenged, raising an eyebrow at her. The woman’s face went a shade paler, something you didn't realize was possible, and she faltered slightly. 
“But, it's my job. Another doctor won't know them like I do, they won’t be able to…” She trailed off and raised a hand to her forehead, swaying suddenly. You rushed forward and wrapped an arm around her waist, quickly taking almost her complete weight as you sat her down on the bottom bunk of a bed. 
“Sweetheart, you’re sick. Let me take you home. Maya has the day off, we can watch movies and I’ll make you soup and we can get you feeling better. Please. You’re a biohazard.” You knew that last part would make her rethink her position which was exactly why you’d thrown it in. 
Carina dropped her head on your shoulder for a moment giving into the dizziness that you were sure she was feeling. 
“Please. Flu season has been bad, this will only get worse before it gets better.” As a nurse, you had been treating case after case of the flu several of them with severe enough symptoms that they needed to be admitted. You were used to rates going up during the winter but it was worse this year. 
The two of you sat in silence for a few more minutes, you rubbing Carina’s back as she carefully weighed her options. 
“Fine.” She finally said, lifting her head to look at you with glassy brown eyes. “I don't want to get the mothers sick.” You smiled, perfectly happy with that answer. You didn't care why she went home as long as she did. 
“Thank you.” 
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
You stepped through the door to your home and were immediately greeted by a very worried-looking EMT. 
“Hey baby, come here.” Maya breathed, reaching out her arms for the shivering brunette bundled up in yours. She broke away from you and drifted toward the firefighter, tears already beginning to form in her eyes. You sighed quietly and pinched the bridge of your nose, wishing that you knew of a way to keep her from crying. She always got weepy when she had a fever and you hated that there was so little that you could do to help. 
“I made a little blanket fort on the couch or we can go lay down in bed, what do you think?” The blonde offered, stepping immediately into the role of caretaker. She was so good at that, even you, a nurse, had trouble with it when it came to the people you loved. For some reason taking care of strangers always came easier. 
“Bed.”
It took the two of you ten minutes to get her settled, she had refused the first three sets of PJs that were offered and wouldn’t lay down until Maya did. Once the blonde was in bed it seemed to signal to Carina that she was allowed to rest and quickly cuddled up against the firefighter. 
You flipped on the TV and handed the remote to your healthy girlfriend so that you could change out of your scrubs and into sweatpants and an oversized band t-shirt. The shirt belonged to Maya, but the two of you frequently swapped clothes, so she didn’t mind. 
“Do you need anything Car? Some tea? A snack? Anything?” You offered, expecting the answer to be no. She shook her head, just as you thought she would, and reached over the EMT to grab the hem of your shirt. 
“Will you lay down with us? Just for a little while?” She croaked, sniffling softly. Her nose was running a little but she didn't seem to notice or care. You smiled and walked around to the other side of the bed so that she could be in the middle. 
Taking care of the doctor would never be an easy feat but you and Maya were more than willing to accept the challenge. Though you both were glad that she had such a strong immune system. That certainly helped. 
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chirpthingz · 7 months ago
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EVERYBODY WAKE UP!! Cellbit revealed a bit on how knowledge is described to change people in the supplement (I apologize for mistranslations, I am short of time atm and also Thrilled to read this):
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At 60% NEX: Your view of reality is altered. In the details, you see the sigils, patterns and codes that form the natural laws of everything. As a consequence, the distortions of reality caused by entities on the Other side become even clearer. The pupils of your eyes become whiter as a result of seeing more and more through Knowledge, and not through your own eyes. You begin to see paranormal auras, as if you were permanently under the basic effect of the Third Eye ritual. however, seeing through Knowledge distorts your perception of what forms Reality; you become permanently obfuscated (<- i have no idea what that word means, something like to be made unclear/obscure?).
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At 75% NEX: Your eyes reflect the light like details engraved in gold. You see the rules. The currents of Reality. Everything is predetermined and has never been so obvious. In fact, it's pathetic not to be able to see this, how inferior and humiliating must it be to live like a chained insect without understanding what awaits you ahead? Wait, are those thoughts even yours? The paranormal sharpens your perception even more, at the expense of your vision. You begin to perceive dangers as if you were permanently under the basic effect of the Threat Detection ritual. However, trying to see reality in its basic form seems increasingly tiring, your penalaties for the condition obfuscated increase to -2D.
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At 90% NEX: Yours eyes shine gold. Observing reality is no longer meaningful to you, it is nothing more than a memory. It's ignominious to know that you didn't even consider this something important. The degrading life of the vassals of the chains, being dragged by Fear, is not something that should interest you anymore. You are not like them. They do not know. You became blind so you could see. The light of reality begins to attack your eyes. When you are not in darkness, instead of being obfuscated you become blind. However, your perception of the Other Side strengthens; you can cast the Scry ritual. You don't need a surface reflection to conjure the ritual; the target's information forms in your head.
(Note: cellbit also mentioned this is how a majority (all?) of the Escriptas are affected by this. Most likely not to a large extent though, because I doubt many of them reached 75%).
-----
Ok done, thoughts time. I'M SO HAPPY THIS IS EVERYTHING I COULD HAVE HOPED FOR WHEN IT CAME TO THE INTERPRETATION ON HOW AFFINITIES AFFECT PEOPLE. I love how as you get closer to knowledge you almost disconnect from those around you, feeling like their "ignorance" makes them unworth of someone's time. Also?? Hello?? The going blind to be able to see through knowledge (which then distorts your perception because you naturally see more of the paranormal than reality) is so fucking cool. Anyways, I wonder if this could also be an insight on how the Magistrate, idk, perceives people/reality?
Also- omg I cannot wait to see Bagi interpreting this for Carina. I NEED IT.
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thebiggerbear · 11 months ago
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"I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that." - Tom Hanniger Prompt Response
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Summary: You went to visit Tom in the mines for a little Valentine's Day fun. Who knew that one decision would lead to everything that's happened? Will you be able to help Tom or will he be lost to you forever?
Pairing: Tom Hanniger x Female!Reader; Tom Hanniger x Sarah Mercer; implied past Deputy Martin x Female!Reader
A/N: Prompt from @creativepromptsforwriting (#941). This was so much fun to write. I just love this character and there is so much to explore with him. I also really love the dynamic between him and the reader in this one. Hope it came out alright.
I decided to give Deputy Martin a name. He deserves one. Also, I loved Tom and Sarah at the beginning of the movie. I had actually been hoping Sarah would leave Axel and be with Tom again until it was revealed that he was the one doing the killings. That grocery store scene when they see each other again for the first time after a decade...it broke my heart in the best way. Jensen and Jaime did a great job (Kerr too though I hated his character the entire time lol). So I kind of feel a little guilty here but I had to throw in the Sarah factor; not trying to crap on their relationship, I promise.
I tried my best do my research and be respectful in regards to DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) but also keep this a few years post-movie (2009) while also staying within the context the movie provided but also explore a bit, if that makes sense. Please note I do not work in the psychiatry, psychology, or medical fields. If I got anything appallingly incorrect about this disorder, its symptoms, its treaments, anything, please let me know. Also, I think it goes without saying (but I’ll say it anyway), not every single person who has been diagnosed with DID is violent or a threat to others nor are their alters violent or a threat to others. Obviously, this is just a work of fanfiction based on a fictional story where the main character had an alter that was violent and a threat to everyone. No harm or disrespect is intended with this fanfiction at all.
There is a note at the end.
This takes place pre-movie, all throughout it, and post-movie.
Unbeta'd so all mistakes are mine.
Warnings: violence; description of injuries; blood; sex (smut-light); angst; mentions of murder; semi-hostage situation; threats of harm/murder; psychiatric hospital treatment (I'm not sure if that's an actual warning or if it should be but I'm putting it in case)
Sidenote: I'm sure we all know this but I'm putting here in case anyway: if you ever go into any mines or similar underground structure, please always wear your hardhat and do what your guides/experts tell you/follow the rules to stay safe.
Word Count: 11k+
Taglist: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187; @rieleatiel
Tom Taglist: @heartlessdelusions; @nancymcl
Jensen Taglist: @samanddeaninatrenchcoat; @deansbbyx
You can read on AO3
"I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that."
Soldier Boy version ✨ Beau version ✨ Dean version ✨ Jenny version ✨ Jason version ✨ CJ version ✨ Rachel version ✨ Anael version ✨ SDV Leah version ✨ Alec version
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You pulled up outside of Tunnel 5 in your car, your friends laughing and cheering as you parked. You weren’t as excited to be here but they managed to talk you into it. 
A Valentine’s Day party was happening in Tunnel 5 and most people your age were going to be there. Why they had decided on a tunnel in the Hanniger mines as the primo party spot you had no idea. If there was one thing you had learned in your life so far, people were weird and most college-aged kids would party wherever, whenever. Especially in a small town like this one.
You got out of the car, heading towards the trunk, ignoring the dibs your friend Destiny was calling on every hot single guy to your other two friends, Carina and Taylor. You handed six packs of beer out to each of them before grabbing the last one and shutting the trunk lid.
“You okay, Y/N?”
You glanced up to find Carina watching you while Destiny and Taylor were waiting impatiently to get to the party. You forced a smile. “Yeah, I’m okay, Rina. Promise.” She knew how hard this might be for you and you appreciated her checking in with you. She returned your smile and turned to follow your two other friends, with you close behind her. 
You passed a few cars until a familiar tall figure entered your vision, sans his usual ball cap. You watched as Tom Hanniger opened the back door of his truck, searching for something. You moved a little closer to Carina and discreetly handed her your six-pack. “I’ll catch up,” you whispered.
She glanced over to where you were staring and gave you a look. “Y/N…”
“I’ll be fine, Rina. You go ahead. I’ll catch up with you guys in a few.”
She seemed uncertain but nodded, doing as you asked. You watched her hurry to catch up to Destiny and Taylor, and then you turned your attention back on Tom. You waited for two people to pass by before you made your way over to him.
He had a six-pack in his hand but he was standing stock still, almost as if he was lost in thought. You then watched as he put the beer back down, holding a hand to the side of his car, and you could tell he was taking a deep breath. Your heart broke for him a little. This couldn’t be easy for him, being here, and being back here especially. You wondered what had prompted him to come here and then you realized, your heart breaking a little further: Sarah.
You pressed your lips together and decided to get this over with. “Hey, Tom,” you called softly.
He spun around, surprised to see you. “Y/N…hey.”
You took him in and you hoped your pain wasn’t showing through. He looked good for the most part, still handsome, still tall and statuesque, his figure being cut from playing football. The only difference you could make out was the nerves that were plain as day though he tried to hide them from you. “How are you?”
He shrugged. “I’m doing alright, I guess. How about you? I hear congratulations are in order. You got into med school. I always knew you would.”
“Thanks,” you whispered. You had worked hard in school, filled up your interim semesters with classes to help you get closer to graduation, studied like hell for the MCAT, and got into the med school of your choice — well, one of them — just like you’d been hoping for the longest time. “Are you here alone?”
“No, uh, I’m here with…” He gestured back towards the tunnel.
“Sarah,” you supplied.
“Yeah.” You could see some of his discomfort showing through. “Sarah.”
You attempted a smile. “That’s good.”
He nodded but didn’t say anything, just kept his eyes trained on the hat in his hand.
You wished things weren’t so awkward now between you. They never used to be.
“I’m sorry,” he breathed, his eyes lifting to yours. “For how things turned out. I never meant— I never meant for any of this to happen.” You could see the regret in them, an echo of some of your own regret.
“I know,” you whispered, your eyes burning at the corners. “I’m sorry, too.”
And you really were. Perhaps if you had been a better girlfriend a year ago — a better person even — you both wouldn’t be here now, feeling as if the blood on your hands would never wash away.
It was Valentine’s Day and you knew Tom was working in the mines all day. He still promised to take you out afterwards, once he’d gotten a chance to shower and clean up. You were looking forward to it.
You had no idea when the thought popped into your head but once it did, it took root and stayed there. Until you found yourself visiting him at the mines. Of course, you’d gotten a lot of dirty and suspicious looks as you dressed in a miner’s uniform and plopped a hard hat on your head (it was the rules). Some guy you forgot the name of the second you’d been introduced to took you down in a cart. While you weren’t crazy about going further underground, you told yourself that once you were with Tom, you would be safe. And it would all be worth it once he saw the present you had for him. 
You got to your stop, the guy called for Tom to come down and mentioned he had a visitor, and not too long after, Tom appeared. You grinned at him when you saw the look of surprise on your boyfriend’s face. 
“What the— What the hell are you doing here, sweetheart?”
“Surprise!” You hugged him as fiercely as you could with his equipment on him. 
He shook his head, smiling as he took in your outfit. “You came all the way down here just to surprise me?”
“Of course I did.”
“But sweetheart, it’s not safe.”
“Don’t tell me that, Tom. I worry about you enough being down here as it is. And don’t worry, I won’t be long.” You smirked up at him and he immediately got your meaning. 
He uncomfortably cleared his throat. “I can take it from here, Fred. I’ll call a cart down when she’s ready to go back up or you if you’re still around. Thanks.”
Fred shook his head, most likely knowing what you two were up to. “I’ll be over in 3 if you need me,” he gruffed out. You both watched as the cart disappeared down the shaft.
“Sweetheart, you really shouldn’t have come down. It’s not safe,” Tom told you but you could feel his hand resting on the seat of your uniform. 
“I have a surprise for you.”
“A surprise?” He smiled. “What kind of surprise?” 
“You’ll see,” you teased. “Is there somewhere we can go?”
He glanced around quickly before taking your hand. “Yeah, there’s a place. Come on.” He led you back up the shaft a little ways and into a pocket, hidden from view. He whisked off his hard hat and yours before eagerly pulling you to him, making you giggle into his mouth. 
“I’ve never had a girl visit me at the mines before,” he murmured, kissing your jaw. 
“And you better never have any girl other than me coming to see you.” You playfully poked his chest in warning.
“No other girl for me,” he whispered to your lips before kissing you again. “You’re it. Always.”
“Awww.” You began to unzip your uniform, wanting to give him his present already. Something sweet like that deserved a reward. 
He pulled back to help you and once the top half was off, his brows drew together in mock confusion. “My surprise is your jogging sweats? I really appreciate the thought, sweetheart, but you could’ve given that to me later tonight and not risked coming down here.”
You swatted at his shoulder, making him snicker, as you slowly unzipped your top half. His eyes followed the trail of the zipper and they widened when you opened the shirt and pushed it back to your shoulders. You smirked, seeing his reaction. He wasn’t laughing or making fun now.
Underneath your sweats, you wore new lingerie you had bought just for this moment. It was a red and white lacy bra that had hearts all over it, ending in a cut-out heart design over your breasts, with a little bow holding it altogether. “You like?”
“I like.” He trailed a finger along the edge of the cut-out heart. “I like it a lot.” He twirled the ribbon over his finger, smirking over at you. “Do I get to unwrap you?” He teased.
You shrugged. “It is your present. Don’t forget about the bottom half, too.” You pushed down your uniform and sweats to reveal similar looking underwear. “But the tie’s at the back.” You leaned forward slightly so he could see. He grinned as he ran a hand over the cut-out heart shape back there, tugging at the ribbon playfully. “So you like your surprise?”
“I love my surprise.” He kissed you as he untied the underwear and let them fall forward into his waiting hand. He stuck them into the pocket of his mining uniform and you felt him begin to touch you in the way he knew you liked. He groaned into your mouth when he felt you. “You’re all ready for me.”
“Of course,” you hummed. “I never half-ass a present.”
He brought his hand down on your bare ass cheek in a slap, making you squeal, and squeezed it. “No, you do not.” He stuck his tongue back into your mouth and you worked to get his uniform unzipped and off of him. He had untied your bra and he broke away from you to take one of your nipples into his mouth. You gasped and arched your head back, your fingers gripping the back of his hair to hold him to you. You let out a moan while he nibbled away at you. He had you on the edge already and he’d barely touched you.
You pulled him back up to you, kissing him deeply, as you started working on his belt. You had just worked his jeans down enough so you could pull him out to stroke him when his hand stopped you. “Sweetheart, wait, wait.”
You pouted. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t have a condom.”
You smirked. “Is that all?”
“Is that all? Uh, yeah, and that’s a problem. My wallet’s in my locker up top. I know we usually just…you know, if we don’t have them, but uh, I’m not going to lie, I really want to enjoy my present right now,” he ended with a nervous laugh. “Every inch of it.” He slapped your ass cheek again and leaned forward, nipping at your breast before kissing the sting away.
“Well, then it’s your lucky day that I’m the world's most amazing girlfriend, Tom Hanniger.” You reached into the pocket of your jacket and pulled out two condoms, holding them up in front of his face. 
He glanced up at you in awe. “You really are.” He snatched the condoms from you, putting one into his pocket and opening the other. You leaned in and kissed the spot underneath his ear while he got ready for you. “I told you,” you murmured. “I never half-ass a present. Happy Valentine’s Day, baby.”
He turned to look at you, holding you steady as he made sure your uniform was covering your back. He began to slip into you and you both groaned by the time he bottomed out, he was a few inches above your lips, smiling. “Happy Valentine’s Day, sweetheart.” He then kissed you and began to give you what you both wanted.
It was quick, hurried, frenzied even. As much as you loved each other, this wasn’t the time or place to take your time. You both could be caught at any moment, it was dangerous like Tom said… You could take your time with each other later. 
Tom had to cover your mouth when you came and you’d had to cover his when he crossed the finish line. You’d felt every grunt sound he made against your palm and it only turned you on more. You almost wished you had forgotten the condoms but you knew Tom wouldn’t be deep inside you right now if you had. Tom was adamant about protection, just like you were, but you loved him and trusted him. Plus, you had been on the pill for years but you knew Eli Hanniger had drilled it into his son’s head to always cover it up unless he wanted some girl to put him in a position someday where he’d be trapped into a marriage and forced to share half his money. You tried not to take it too personally when Eli had looked over at you after that little nugget of his own brand of wisdom on one of the many nights Tom had to pick his drunken dad up from the local bar. 
Eli couldn’t have been more wrong. You loved Tom but you also had your own goals in life that you didn’t want deterred by parenthood earlier than expected. Not to mention, Tom could be the poorest guy in town and you would still love him and want to be with him. You’d loved Tom since you were five, ever since he’d seen you crying because all of the markers were gone in kindergarten class and everyone was making a picture but you. He came over to give you the red one he’d been using with a cute smile that was meant to reassure you. You’d smiled back at him, sniffling, your face wet, as you both worked together to make a picture. You’d been close ever since. 
Once you were in high school, things changed between you. You’d had to watch as he dated girl after girl until finally junior year came. You changed up your look a little, didn’t have your nose stuck in a book every other minute, and the guys began to slowly take notice of you. Tom had been jealous when you told him you were going on a date with one of his teammates. You two had been arguing in his car when he leaned over and kissed you out of the blue. Needless to say, you had canceled that date and Tom stopped hooking up with one of the cheerleaders he’d been casually seeing at the time.
You both were happy. You both attended the same university and you spent the holidays together with your families. Well, you and Tom spent the holidays with your family; Eli wanted no part of it. It was almost as if because you weren’t a mining family or a well-off family, you weren’t good enough for him to bother gracing you with his presence at your dinner table. Just like you weren’t good enough to be dating his son, unlike Sarah Mercer whose parents owned the grocery store in town. That was who Eli kept pushing Tom towards but Tom told his dad he didn’t have eyes for anyone but you. He loved you and someday, he wanted to marry you. Your heart warmed when you overheard him say that. Which immediately hardened when you heard his dad then say “You’re a fool. That girl just wants your money! Sarah’s an actually decent hard-working girl. You’d be better off with her than that other one.” Tom didn’t say anything else and you had gone back to the book you were reading, pretending to be caught up in it, when he came out, hurrying to take your hand and get out of there. You never let on that you’d heard what he said…and what he didn’t say. 
And you may have taken the initiative to show him how much you loved him and wanted to keep you with him. Which is why you had risked coming down here to have semi-public sex in a dangerous mine, wearing a lingerie set you would usually never be caught dead in. You had already planned to go all out that evening once you made it to the hotel room you’d reserved in town, but you also wanted to give him something to remember, something he’d never ever forget. Now, you would always be in his mind, having made your mark, no matter what might happen with your relationship. You just hoped you made a mark on his heart, too, at some point while you’d been together, and that he didn’t let his dad’s obvious prejudice against you and your family sway him away from you.
Tom’s head dropped to your shoulder as he attempted to come down from his high, trying to catch his breath. You kissed the side of his head, not caring about the damp sweat or coal mine smell coming off of him. You leaned your head up next to his ear. “I love you, Tom. I’ll love you forever,” you whispered. You knew he heard you when he squeezed you, still panting harshly against your skin.
“Always,” he whispered back to you.
You hugged him tightly then.
A little while later, you were both redressed, hardhats back on your heads as you waited for Fred to arrive with the cart to take you back up top. Tom had called Tunnel 3 to ask him to come back for you. He had his arms around you from behind and he was smiling down at you. “Thank you for my present,” he murmured. Unable to really kiss you or nuzzle you thanks to the hardhats, he pressed a kiss to your shoulder and tightened his arms around you. 
“I’ve got another one for later.”
He turned to look at you quizzically which then turned into a glimmer of hope.
You couldn’t help but laugh. “I bought another set. Deep red and more ribbons.” You wiggled an eyebrow playfully at him.
“I fucking love you.” His smile was bright as he carefully leaned in to kiss your neck, making you giggle. 
“Hey, lovebirds!” You both looked up to see Fred turning the corner a little further down the shaft, having a clear view of the two of you. “Break it up! I haven’t had my lunch yet and I don’t want it spoiled!”
Tom rolled his eyes but let you go. “Ha ha, Fred. Very funny.” 
Fred came to a stop in front of you, scowling at both of you. “Time to go.”
You hugged Tom quickly and then climbed into the cart. He had his hands out around you, ready to assist you if need be. Once you were settled inside, Tom hurriedly took his hat off and leaned in to kiss you. 
“Hey, hey! Put your hat back on, Tom! Don’t be even more of an idiot! This whole thing could come down at any time, you know.”
Tom kept peppering your lips with kisses, making you laugh and him smile, before he finally heeded Fred’s warning. He straightened up and slipped his hardhat back on, grabbing your hand and kissing it. “Take care of my girl, Fred. Get her back safe.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Fred muttered and started up the cart. 
Tom walked beside you, still holding your hand. “I can’t wait for later.”
You smirked. “I know you can’t.”
His cheeks darkened a little and he gave you a sheepish smile, letting out a laugh. “That, too, but I was talking about our date. I think you’re really going to love the place I picked out for us.”
Your smirk melted into a genuine smile. “I know I will because I love anything that comes from you.” You heard Fred snort next to you but you couldn’t care less. So what if you were being cheesy? It was Valentine’s Day and you meant what you said.
Tom’s smile grew and you could see it reaching his eyes. “I love you.” You both noticed you were about to make a turn that he couldn’t follow you down. He kissed your hand one more time and let you go. “See you tonight.”
“See you then. I love you, too,” you called back to him. You watched as he got further and further away, the last thing you saw being him holding his hand up in a wave as he smiled. You waved back before the cart completed the turn and he completely disappeared from your view. 
The date didn’t end up happening due to the collapse that happened later. Word of it spread fast once it happened and even though you knew Tom should be home by then, you still worried. Thankfully, he returned your call ten minutes later and told you what happened. You rushed right over to be with him, all plans for the night forgotten, though Eli was less than pleased. Apparently, word of your visit had spread around the mines well before you had made it to the top. 
“That girl is a problem!” Eli yelled. “She’s reckless! And now she’s made you reckless!”
Tom let go of your hand and jumped to his feet. “Don’t talk about her like that!”
You got up and hugged Tom’s arm, rubbing his shoulder soothingly. “Shhh,” you murmured. “Don’t. It’s not worth it. Okay?”
Eli didn’t like seeing that. His face got red and he was louder than before. “It’s like I’ve been telling you! That girl is only after one thing and that’s your money! When are you going to wake up, start using the other brain God gave you, and see it for yourself?” He threw his glass of Scotch at the wall, making you wince at the shattering sound, and left in a huff.
Tom went to follow him, to yell back at him, but you kept him there. “Don’t worry about it. It’s fine. He’s upset. Here, sit with me.” Tom did as you urged and you rested your chin on his shoulder. “Do you want to talk about it?”
He glanced over at you, his eyes glassy. “I think I really fucked up, Y/N.”
“What do you mean?”
“After you left, I went back to work. I was in the cage, adjusting my gear, when the condom and your underwear fell out. I forgot I had them. I picked them up as fast as I could and stuffed them back in but Harry Warden saw.” He shook his head. “He gave me a hard time about doing my job and I told him I had it, I knew what I was doing. They now think he’s one of the miners trapped. He’s unaccounted for.” He compulsively swallowed and turned to look at you, a tear rolling down his cheek. “I forgot to bleed the lines,” he whispered.
Your eyes couldn’t get any wider if they tried. You reached out to wipe his tear away as you tried to rein in your reaction. 
“I was thinking about our date tonight, about you, and I got distracted. I forgot to do the one thing I’m supposed to do every day before I leave. This collapse happened because of me,” he choked out before breaking down. You pulled him into you, holding him and shushing him, whispering reassurances to him. All while the heavy truth settled down around you and began to constrict your chest. It wasn’t Tom’s fault; it was yours.
It didn’t surprise you one bit a few weeks later when Tom broke up with you. He explained it as there was a lot happening, he was being blamed for the murders of the other miners that Harry committed, and his dad told him he just needed to continue working and keep his head down. No distractions. Which meant no more you, though Tom never actually said it but you knew that’s what he was implying Eli had told him.
It broke your heart when he broke it off between you but you understood. Tom had basically become a pariah overnight. Once he admitted to the investigators that he forgot to bleed the lines, the town he’d lived in his whole life turned against him. Harry may have done the actual killing, but it was Tom who’d put Harry in that position in the first place, or so they’d said. Some folks even gave you dirty looks in town as well but it was nothing compared to how Tom was treated. While you loved him and wanted to stay together, you could understand if he needed some space. You let him go with a hug, telling him you were still around if he needed a friendly ear, trying your best not to let any tears fall so you wouldn’t make him feel worse. His jaw had clenched but he nodded, choked out a “Thanks”, and walked to his car. You watched as he left, remembering back to the image of him getting further and further away from the mine cart you were in. Once he disappeared down the street, you finally let out the tears you’d been holding onto. A sob tore its way out of your throat when you remembered he had held up his hand in a wave, smiling, while you smiled and waved back. Because all you could think about was what you thought in that moment: Let this be the last time we separate like this. 
And as luck and Eli Hanniger would have it, in the next month or so, rumors spread that Tom Hanniger was now dating Sarah Mercer. You didn’t want to believe them, to believe that he’d finally pushed you aside for one of the girls you’d both grown up with who always had a gooey-eyed expression for Tom, the girl his father had wanted him to date in the first place. You didn’t want to believe that he would be so quick to throw away what the two of you had just to make his father happy. But deep down, you knew it was true. Tom had always wanted to get his father’s approval and he always had a soft spot for Sarah so why wouldn’t it be true? You could even understand a little, considering what had happened and Tom was in the hot seat with every resident of Harmony, thanks to you. But it still hurt like hell. You still loved him enough, though, to hope that he was happy. 
You pushed those thoughts out of your head. No use in continuing to blame yourself now. It didn’t change anything. “Are you okay…being here?”
He seemed a little caught off guard at the change of subject but then he glanced back at the tunnel entrance. “Yeah.” He turned back to you. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
You nodded and dropped your gaze to the ground, not sure what else to say. 
“Did you bring your hardhat this time?”
Your head snapped up and he was giving you half a smile, his eyes having that familiar teasing gleam in them. You couldn’t help but smile back, appreciating the attempt at levity and familiarity. “Did you?”
He snickered and shook his head, biting at his lip.
You chuckled and took a step closer. “How are you really, Tom?”
His smile faded. “Better.” He then briefly dropped his eyes. “Sarah. She helps.”
Your smile dropped altogether and you could feel that stinging sensation in your eyes again. “Oh.” You bit the inside of your cheek to keep tears from welling up. You didn’t even know what to say to that. “I’m glad, I guess.”
His expression fell and he took a step closer. “I didn’t mean—”
You took a step backwards, your hand up. “It’s okay. Really. I’m happy that she’s able to do that for you.” You took a breath. “I should go. Rina and the girls are waiting on me, so… Good to see you, Tom. I’m glad you’re doing well.” You gave him a wan smile and turned to leave.
“Y/N, wait. Y/N.”
You continued walking, eager to put some distance between you two until you could rein in your emotions. While Tom and Sarah might go off in their own section of the mine, you also might have to see them together. And you needed to prepare for that, especially with your last memories of the time you were here and all that occurred after. 
You were halfway to the entrance when you heard a scream. You stopped short, wondering if it had just been someone fooling around and having fun though it sounded terrified. You heard it again and before you knew it, people were running out of the tunnel at a fast speed, hurrying to their cars. “Oh no,” you gasped when you realized something was wrong, thinking another collapse must have happened. “Rina.” 
You were just about to run towards the tunnel when a strong hand gripped your arm, whipping you around to face Tom. “I don’t know what this is,” he said. “But get out of here. Go back to your car and get the hell away. As fast as you can.”
“What? No! I can’t leave! Rina, Taylor, and Destiny are in there! We came together!”
He framed your face with his hands. “Y/N, listen to me. You need to go. It could be another collapse.” He released you and urged you to go.
“No! I told you, I—”
Just then there were more screams as more people ran out. Tom turned back to you. “I have to go get Sarah. Run back to your car, Y/N! Do the same as these people! I’ll catch up with you later!”
Your eyes widened. “What? No, Tom! If you’re telling me not to go in, you’re not going, either!”
He went to answer you when a guy running past you yelled, “There’s some crazy guy in there killing everybody! Run!”
You and Tom glanced at one another, both shocked. Neither of you knew who the guy was talking about or why this was happening. But that didn’t matter. Screw holding your tears back. “Tom,” you sobbed. “I can’t lose you, okay? I know you want to go save Sarah but she’s probably hiding somewhere with Rina and the girls and they’ll be safe, okay?” You knew that probably wasn’t the case and it was wrong of you not to let him run in to help but you were terrified of losing him. “Please, don’t go in! Please!”
“I’ve got to go! I’ve got to get her! I’m sorry!” He yanked his arm out of your grip and turned to leave.
“I’m going, too! I can help!” 
You didn’t make it two feet until you were picked up and placed back down in front of Tom who was ducking his head to look you in the eye. “I can’t lose you, either, okay? I need to know you’re safe. Please, sweetheart, go get in your car and drive out of here.” He picked up a flashlight someone had dropped while running. “I’m going to get Sarah and get out of here myself. If I see Rina and the others, I’ll grab them, too. I’ll meet you at the hospital. There’s probably going to be a lot of people who need help.”
“That’s why I should stay. I may be pre-med but I can—”
He huffed out a breath and leaned down to kiss you. As he had probably planned, it stunned you. He placed his forehead against yours. “Go, baby,” he murmured. “To the hospital. We’ll be right behind you.”
Before you could say anything else, he hightailed it down to the tunnel, running past people who were still spilling out of the entrance but in fewer and fewer numbers. The last thing you saw was him disappearing inside before you turned and ran back to your car. You didn’t feel right leaving, especially with your friends and Tom still in the tunnel, but you would do as he asked. You’d already selfishly distracted him once; you wouldn’t do so again.     
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You rang the bell of the Hanniger household for the third time, feeling impatience and worry gnawing at you. 
You shouldn’t have been surprised when a swaying Eli finally opened the door or that it was only 1:00 in the afternoon yet he was this inebriated. If he were a better man — a better father even — you might feel sorry for him. His mines weren’t doing too well these days. 
“What do you want?” He slurred out.
You lifted your chin. “I’m here to see your son.”
He snorted. “You mean my fuckup of a son?” He held the door wider in invitation.
You stepped in before he could change his mind. “No, your son. Not his fuckup of a father,” you spat before storming off to find Tom. 
“Sure, come into my house and talk to me like that! You kids have no goddamn respect these days!” He yelled.
You spun around and yelled back, “Go and get another drink, Eli! That’s all you care about anyway!”
“You little bitch!”
You ignored him and ran upstairs to Tom’s room. You found the door closed and you gently knocked. “Tom?”
No answer. 
You knocked again. “Tom, it’s me.” You briefly closed your eyes, remembering things were different than they had been the last time you were here. “Y/N.”
A moment later, Tom opened the door and stood there. He did not look well. He had deep, dark circles under his eyes as if he hadn’t slept since what happened. His face was drawn, pale, and it was obvious he hadn’t shaved for a bit. His hair looked as if he had just recently run his fingers through it. He was in a hoodie, sweat pants, and socks. It was hard to tell in this light but it looked like he had lost a little weight.
“Hey.” His voice sounded rough, as if he either hadn’t been using it for a while or he had been yelling and near losing it. You hoped it was the former. If it was the latter, then that could mean possible night terrors and you didn’t want that for him. 
“Hey. Is it okay if I come in?”
He nodded and walked away, leaving the door open. After you closed it behind you, you noticed he was trying to cover the messy bed with the blanket. You noticed a stale smell, as if a window hadn’t been opened in some time, and you spied dirty plates spotting the landscape of his room. You also took note of a half-empty bottle of liquor on his desk. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t expecting company.”
“That’s okay. Don’t worry about it” You laid a tentative hand on his back as he moved and was pleased to see him not immediately shirk it off. After what happened with Harry Warden in the tunnel, for a while he hadn’t wanted anyone touching him. “I just came to see how you’re doing.”
“Not great,” he muttered, turning to sit on his bed. You took a seat next to him, waiting for him to elaborate. “I don’t know what to do, Y/N,” he eventually confessed. “I see him everywhere. I see him when I sleep, I see him when I’m awake. I see him everywhere I go, no matter who’s around, night or day. I don’t know what to do.”
Harry had woken from his coma that night and gone on a killing spree. First at the hospital and then at the mines. Right to the Valentine’s Day party that was being thrown. He didn’t care who he came across, Harry killed them one by one. Sadly, Destiny and Taylor hadn’t made it. Rina had; she was injured but she’d survived. Sarah, Axel, and Irene made it, too, though they were traumatized. They were all traumatized, just like Tom. Tom, who had gone back for Sarah, urged her to run out of there with Axel, and had nearly gotten killed for it. When you thought about how close you came to losing him… You really didn’t want to think about it.
You carefully placed a hand on his bicep and when he didn’t tense, you rubbed your thumb back and forth soothingly. “Have you given any more thought to seeing someone…and talking about it?”
He pulled away from you and ran a hand down his face. “They’re just going to think I’m crazy and want to throw me on meds.”
“Maybe not,” you whispered. “You’ve been traumatized, Tom. They might give you medication to help you sleep but trauma isn’t something that has a magic cure all. I’m not a doctor but I would think that they’ll probably recommend therapy. I mean, is Harry…talking to you when you see him?”
“No, Y/N, I’m not hearing voices in my head if that’s what  you’re asking,” he snapped before getting up and walking away.
“Tom, that’s not what I— I’m sorry, I know you’re not hearing voices. I was only trying to make you feel better by ruling it out. That’s all.”
He shook his head and ran his hand through his hair. He glanced down at you, his jaw tight. “I’m glad you came here today. You should know, I’ve decided to leave town.”
You were immediately on your feet. “And go where?”
He shrugged. “Wherever that isn’t here.” He moved over to the bed and threw off one corner of the blanket to reveal a bag he had been packing. “I can’t stay here, Y/N. It’s too much. Maybe if I can get far enough away…”
“He won’t follow you,” you finished, still staring at the half-packed bag. You almost had to wonder if he would have told you if you hadn’t shown up today. He hid the bag from you for a reason; he knew you wouldn’t want him to leave.
You should’ve known it was coming to this or Tom would have a full on breakdown. First, he broke up with Sarah. Then he withdrew from the public altogether. Now, he was holed up in his room, never leaving it, and repeatedly being terrified and thus re-traumatized each time he saw Harry. Something had to give; he needed to get out of here. 
You felt a lump forming in your throat at the idea of him leaving but you swallowed it back down just as fast. This wasn’t about you. If this was what Tom needed, you would support him. You met his gaze. “Will you call me once you get to where you’re going? Just so I know you made it safely and that you’re okay?”
His eyes softened and he came towards you, cupping your face. “You’ve always understood me. Better than anyone else in this goddamn town.” You noticed he didn’t answer your question and you had a feeling that he planned to leave permanently, never looking back. This time, you couldn’t prevent the lump from forming in your throat or the tears building in your eyes.
“Are you going to be okay?” You nearly winced at the breaks in your voice.
“I will be,” he whispered before pulling you into him and pressing a kiss to the side of your head. Sighing into your ear, he hugged you tightly. “I will be.”
You burrowed into him further, whispering against his shirt, “I love you, Tom. I’ll love you forever.”
You knew he heard you when he murmured back to you, “I love you, too, sweetheart. Always will.” You could hear the breaks in his own voice but still, you smiled. As painful as this was going to be, as heartbreaking as it was, Tom still loved you, just as much as you loved him. Always…and forever.
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You were just finishing up notes in a patient file when someone knocked on your open door and stuck their head into your office. You glanced up to find a familiar face and smiled.
“Well, if it isn’t Dr. Y/L/N,” he said, waltzing in.
You closed the file and took off your glasses. “Well, if it isn’t Deputy Martin,” you laughed. He handed you a cup of coffee. “Aww, thank you. You don’t know how much I needed this.” 
“No problem. You still take it that way, right?”
You took a sip. “I do,” you smiled. 
“So, how’s things in the world of psychiatry?” He took a seat on the edge of your desk.
“Interesting. As always. How about you? How’s things in the law enforcement world?”
“Interesting. As always.”
You chuckled and took another sip of your coffee. “So, what brings you to my side of the hospital? And bearing gifts, no less?”
He shrugged. “I was in the neighborhood and figured I’d check in.”
“Oh? That’s nice.” Chris pressed his lips together and you tilted your head at him, knowing what that little tic meant. “Uh oh. What’s going on?”
He smirked, shaking his head. “I hate it when you do that.”
You couldn’t help but laugh. “Then don’t be so obvious. I know you too well, Chris. Come on, tell me. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong. I just… I was wondering if you knew that Tom was back in town.”
Your smile immediately dropped and you placed the coffee down. You put your glasses back on and opened the file back up, holding the pen in your hand as you glanced over your notes. “Yeah. I heard he was here.”  
How could you not? It was a small town after all. News and gossip spread faster than wildfire here. The word on the street was that Tom was back to sell the mines and no one was happy about that.
When you didn’t hear anything else, you glanced up to find Chris giving you a knowing look. “What?”
“Has he been by to see you?”
Well, that hurt. You knew Chris wasn’t asking you that to hurt you but it didn’t mean the question still didn’t cause you pain. You shook your head and went back to your file. “No. And I don’t expect he will be.” 
Ben had already complained down at the local bar, before Tom even showed up, that the damn kid was going to sell the mines and Eli would be turning over in his grave if he knew. He was only coming into town to sign the paperwork and then he’d be off again to God knew where. He’d even assured everyone he switched the paper signing until the Monday following Tom’s arrival, in hopes that he could get him to change his mind. 
When you heard Tom was coming back, you didn’t get your hopes up though your heart lightened at the news. You hadn’t seen or heard from Tom in ten years. He’d literally pulled a disappearing act. While you expected it, it still hurt that he never once called or wrote to you to let you know that he was still alive. Not once.
Besides, you already knew who he’d dropped in to see the minute he hit town. You supposed one needed groceries and toiletries, that sort of thing, if they were going to stay for a weekend they hadn’t initially planned on. And the fact that Sarah now ran the store and was there practically all day every day was just a coincidence.
You knew better of course and you couldn’t pretend like it didn’t break your heart just a little more. So, no, you didn’t expect to see him at all. And as much as it hurt to admit it to yourself, it was probably for the best. 
While a part of you still loved Tom and always would, you now had the benefits of maturity, age, and experience. When you looked back on your relationship, it had been one of intense young love and folly for you, first love even. And while you had more compassion and understanding along with a more detached view of things through a different lens now, you could admit there were some things that occurred that weren’t so great. For example, your decision to surprise him in the mines for a Valentine’s Day quickie, all because you loved him so much and was desperate to do whatever it took to keep him with you. You’d put both of you at risk and while Tom was an adult who was responsible for his own decisions, you still took responsibility for being the one to initiate the whole thing. It had been your idea after all. Then there had been his breaking it off with you and choosing to date Sarah not even a month later. While he was single and an adult, free to make his own decisions, the fact that he did it partially to please his father was not an okay reason in your book to hurt you and toss you aside as if you meant nothing. As the adage went, hindsight was truly 20/20. You were no longer that young, foolish girl anymore. If Tom wanted to see you, he would see you. If he didn’t, then he didn’t. It was that simple. You weren’t going to sway things one way or the other.
“Come on, Y/N. I know you just as well. You’re telling me, you don’t hope he stops by before he skips town again?”
You smiled up at Chris. “Not in the slightest.”
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You threw on your lab coat, lifting your hair out of the neckline. You twisted your hair up into a bun and stuck a pen through it. You placed your stethoscope around your neck and then traded your heels for the nurse’s shoes you kept in a desk drawer for situations like these.
There had been an explosion at the mines and it was an all hands on deck situation in the ER. So far, two survivors had been found and were being brought in. They were still clearing the mines to make sure no one else had been hurt. You were getting ready to lock up your office and head down to see what you could do to help. 
You were grabbing pens to put in your pocket, tossing a red pen back into the drawer, when out of the corner of your eye, you noticed a figure in the doorway.
“Doc,” a man gasped.
“I’m sorry. I’m about to run down to the ER. There’s been an emergency in town and all doctors are needed. I can find you a nurse if you—”
You dropped the remaining pens in your hand when you glanced up to find a bleeding Tom Hanniger standing in your doorway, holding onto his side. “Tom,” you gasped, frozen. 
His pained glare suddenly transformed into one of the most terrifying smirks you had ever seen in your life. “Guess again.” He then shut the door behind him, locking it, before he started making his way over to you. 
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You rushed off the elevator, hurrying over to where a bloodied Sarah was nervously pacing in the surgery waiting room. You noticed Chris was with her as was Deputy Ferris. Sarah’s little boy, Noah, was sitting on one of the seats behind her, playing quietly with his toy.
“Sarah,” you called.
She turned to see you approaching and immediately hurried over to you, throwing her arms around you, beginning to cry. You rubbed her back soothingly and shushed her. “You’re alright now.”
Sarah pulled back out of your embrace. “Tom, he’s… He’s gone.”
You pressed your lips together, your eyes tearing up. “I know,” you choked out. Based on what you had just seen and heard, you knew she was speaking the truth.
She hugged you again and you embraced her back tightly, tears rolling down your cheeks as you saw Chris watching you both. You squeezed your eyes shut and let out a quiet sob when you heard Sarah crying again. You both held each other as you both quietly mourned the Tom you both had loved.
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You unlocked your office door and stepped inside before locking it again. You began to empty your pockets of the supplies you’d nabbed when a figure moved from behind a filing cabinet in the far corner and appeared in your vision, making you quietly gasp.
There stood Tom, still holding his wounded side. “What took so long?” He demanded.
Your jaw tightened as you remembered who you were dealing with now. “Sorry, Harry. I had to get supplies without causing any eyebrows to raise. That takes time. Now, come sit down.”  
He warily approached and sat down on the edge of the desk as you directed. You snapped gloves on and he moved his hand away from his side when you prompted him to. He hissed in pain as you began to prod at the bullet wound.
“Can you fix me up or not?” He growled.
“Well, Harry, as I told you, I’m not a surgeon. But I will do my best.” You began to gently wipe away the blood, from both the entry and exit sites. “The good news is it looks like the bullet went straight through.”
“I told you that,” he snapped.
“Yes and I’m confirming it,” you snapped back. It was very strange to have someone you hated so much inside of the body of the person you loved most. 
“Just do your goddamn job, Doc.”
You snapped up straight and looked him right in the eye. “Let’s get something straight, the only reason I’m helping you right now is because of Tom. I could care less what happens to you, you son of a bitch.”
He gave you that smirk again that made your blood run cold. “And let’s get something else straight. If you don’t fix me up, I’ll kill you. Got it?”
You didn’t answer him. Instead, you grabbed a pad of gauze, dumped some of your finest alcohol on it, and slapped it onto the injury site, making him yell out in pain. You smirked in satisfaction though inside you felt guilty. Sorry, Tom. You really wished you could expel Harry from him, like he was some sort of demon you could exorcise. 
“Sorry about that.” You were anything but. “I have to clean the site before I inspect it for further damage.”
His chest was heaving and he was glaring at you. “Just do your job, bitch. Or you’re dead,” he grunted.
You huffed out a snort and repeated the process with the exit site, making him grit his teeth, a pained yell straining against them. You proceeded to make sure there wasn’t any critical damage that you could see and then went about starting to suture the wound. You ignored the grunts and gritting of his teeth the entire time and just focused on falling back on your training. You’d barely flinched when he started drinking your booze. (it was his fault he wouldn’t let you use any needles to apply local anesthetics) When you were done, you snipped the loose tail of the sutures and then bandaged up the area. You quickly cleaned and bandaged the wounds on his face and treated any burns he might have. The entire time you did, you felt pain and remorse for Tom for each wound you found that would now scar his body. Though you supposed scars were a small price to pay considering the explosion he’d been in that could have killed him. Your jaw clenched at the thought and you hated Harry even more. 
You finished cleaning him up and threw out the last bit of bloody gauze. “It’s probably a waste of time to say this to you but you need to take it easy with that bullet wound, keep the area clean, and come back in two weeks to have the sutures removed. If any extreme bleeding occurs, you should get to the ER immediately. If the sutures pop out, you should do the same. If you start to develop a fever or other—”
“Yeah, Doc, I got it.” He slowly got to his feet and held a hand to his side. “Not bad.”
You took off your gloves and threw them to the side, crossing your arms. “Am I free to go now?”
His eyes snapped over to you and you could swear you could see a whole other person. In Tom’s eyes, the eyes you loved, you saw Harry, and they were darker and harder than Tom’s green could ever be. Tom clearly wasn’t the one in the driver’s seat, even if his behavior and personality right then weren’t already making that obvious. “For now. But if you screw me over, I’m coming back for you.” A hint of a smirk appeared on his face as if he enjoyed that idea, almost hoping you would give him the excuse. 
You knew he was waiting for you to tremble in fear at his threat but you didn’t. “Truly, Harry, I hope I never see you again.” With that, you walked out of your office and you refused to give him the satisfaction of looking back.
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You knocked on the open room door and stuck your head in. “Hey,” you greeted with a small smile.
Axel and Sarah both glanced over and saw you.
“Hey.” Axel faintly smiled. 
Sarah got up and gave you another hug. You rubbed her shoulder as she returned to her seat next to her husband and you came to a stop at the foot of the bed. “So, how’s the patient?”
“He’s doing well.” Sarah smiled as she took Axel’s hand in hers. “He’ll be in here for a little while but then he can come home.” Axel turned his smile onto her. You glanced back and forth between them. Apparently, that marriage was no longer on the rocks. You were glad for Sarah’s sake, though you still thought she could do better. Despite how things went with Tom, you didn’t blame her or hold her responsible. She had always been kind to you, good to Tom, and you knew she was a decent person. You could almost understand why Tom had loved her so much.
You forced a smile onto your face. “Glad to hear it.”
Another knock on the door garnered your attention. You turned to see Chris walk in. He came to a stop next to you. “Hey, Sheriff. Sarah. Y/N.”
“Hey,” Axel greeted. You gave him a nod and Sarah gave him a smile.
He turned to look at you but you were already steps ahead of him. “Did you do as I asked?”
He nodded. “Picked him up about an hour ago. Had to ask for that town’s sheriff to help but we got him. And he doesn’t know it has anything to do with you. We purposely mentioned in front of him that a store owner from that town called it in after recognizing him from the news.”
“Thanks.” He gave you another nod.
“Wait, what are you two talking about?” Axel asked. Sarah looked just as curious while also fearful.
You pressed your lips together and Chris turned to face his boss. “We picked up Tom Hanniger in the next town over. We have him in custody and we’re starting processing.”
Both of their eyes went wide. “Tom’s alive?” Sarah gasped.
The deputy exchanged glances with you. “In a way but he goes by Harry now.”
“Shit,” Axel breathed. “You need to call in every reinforcement. We don’t have the manpower to hold him.”
Chris held up a placating hand. “It’s already done but trust me, we’ve got him locked down. As it is, the DA and the Judge are deciding what to do with him.” He looked over at you.
“Deciding what to do with him? What does that mean?” Axel’s eyes were on you, too.
“Harmony isn’t the place for Tom to be right now. It’s his trigger and that’s why Harry is currently in control. I’ve asked for a meeting with the DA and Judge Harrison as well as the Chief of my department to discuss Tom’s case.” You took a breath, knowing this next part wasn’t going to go over well. “We’re looking to get him moved to a maximum security psychiatric hospital up North.”
“Are you kidding me?” Axel started to sit up but grunted in pain. 
Sarah got up and gently pushed his shoulder down. “Axel, be careful. You just had major surgery yesterday.”
“Sheriff, easy. You’re still healing,” Chris chimed in. 
He ignored both of them. “After all of the people he’s killed? People are going to want justice and to see it done here in Harmony.”
You could feel an age-old anger welling up inside of you but you tried to tamp it back down. “He’s not mentally competent to stand trial, Axel.”
“Not mentally competent? Really? That’s the excuse we’re going with here? He was mentally competent when he killed those people! When he lied about it and tried to cover it up and blame me! When he attacked me and my wife, about to kill us! When killed Rosa and came for my son!” He gripped onto Sarah’s hand.
“I understand that. But the law states—”
“No offense, Y/N,” Axel interrupted. “But you’re not an expert on the law. Leave that to people like Judge Harrison who actually know the law.” Well, so much for you keeping that anger and resentment in check.
“None taken. And no offense, Axel, but you’re not an expert in psychological disorders, either. Leave that to people like myself who know what we’re talking about,” you snapped.
Chris laid a gentle hand on your shoulder and held up his other hand in Axel’s direction. “Hey, hey, now. We’re all on the same team here. We all want the same thing.”
You narrowed your eyes at him. “Do we?” He dropped his hand. You then glared over at Axel and Sarah. “Let’s not pretend like you two and Irene didn’t leave Tom there to die back when Harry was on a killing spree which severely traumatized him and that’s why all of this happened in the first place! That’s what started this whole thing!”
Sarah looked ashamed and stayed quiet. Your ire wasn’t really for her anyway. You knew she had been wanting to go back to help Tom before Harry threw that pickaxe. Axel, on the other hand, saw red. “Are you kidding me? We were about to be killed! I had to get her and Irene out of there! Tom would have done the same had it been him and it would’ve been the right thing to do! Regardless, it doesn’t excuse anything that Tom or Harry or whatever the fuck he calls himself now did! And us leaving him alone started this? No, let’s talk about really started this whole thing off! You decided to go down into the mines to give your boy toy a little nookie, he got distracted and forgot to clear the lines, then boom! The mines collapsed on top of Harry Warden and the others and that’s what really started this off! Because Harry wouldn’t have been in the mines a year later, killing people, and nothing would have happened to Tom or any of us! So you want to play the blame game? Look in the mirror, Y/N!” Sarah was softly telling him to stop but he ignored her. “Oh, and let’s not pretend that you’re not doing anything but trying to make excuses for the guy you’re still hung up on after all these years who didn’t give a fuck about you and dropped you like a bad habit the minute his daddy told him to! Who left you behind to rot!”
Your left eye was starting to twitch, something that only happened when you were either very stressed or very angry. Right then, it was definitely the latter. Sarah’s gaze was trained on her hand covering her husband’s and Chris was looking down at the footboard. You forced yourself to speak calmly but firmly. “That has nothing to do with this. It has to do with helping someone who needs help. I’m simply doing my job and the right thing at the same time. When was the last time you could say the same for yourself, Axel?” His jaw clenched but he stayed quiet and you gave him the worst glare you could summon up. “Get well soon.”
You turned and walked out of the room. You were right about one thing; Sarah could do better.
You were waiting for the elevator when you heard Chris come up behind you, laying a hand on your shoulder to stop you. “Hey, hey, hey.” You spun around to face him and he rubbed his thumb back and forth over the fabric of your coat. “Are you okay?”
You unclenched your jaw long enough to say, “I’m fine.”
He nodded and lowered his hand. “You know, it’s no excuse for the things he said but Axel’s in pain right now, he’s not thinking straight, and they just went through another traumatic experience of their own. And they have their son, who was there when Rosa was killed. He’s just dealing with a lot.”
“I get that, Chris. I do. But Tom didn’t do those things, Harry did.”
He sighed and put his hands on his hips. “Y/N, I’m not disagreeing with you but Tom did lie, he covered it up. Like the motel killings. Did Harry drive away from the scene, ignoring the trucker’s dead body in the lot, before we arrived or did Tom?” 
You shook your head, looking away from him.
“I know Tom means a lot to you and I respect that. I know you have history and you want to help him.” He cupped your chin and forced you to meet his eyes. “But I also care about you. I don’t want to see you get hurt. There’s a possibility that Tom himself may not be who you actually think he is. Who any of us thought he was growing up.”
You gently lowered his hand. “Chris, I appreciate your concern and I know we had…something between us for a while. And I’m grateful that you helped me earlier, I really am. But I know Tom. He’s not a killer. He’s not Harry. Harry only exists because of the trauma he suffered. He doesn’t even know who he’s killed or what’s happened. I need to get him out of this town so I can begin working to get him back.”
Chris sighed and studied you for a moment. “Then how did he know about Megan and the words written above her body?”
“He got it from the card she wrote. You told me that yourself, Chris, because Sarah told you about it.”
“No, I mean, if Tom saw the card and Harry killed Megan and wrote those words in her blood, then how did Tom know they were written above her body?”
You realized he was making a good point but that didn’t change your mission. “I don’t know, but I intend to find out.” You then got onto the elevator that had just arrived, you and Chris watching each other as the doors closed.
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Tom didn’t remember how he got here. He didn’t even remember waking up. One moment, Harry was about to attack him and Sarah wouldn’t save him, again. The next moment, he was in a white t-shirt and white pajama pants, stuck in a cell that looked strangely familiar. Had he dreamt all of it? Going back to Harmony, seeing Sarah again, dealing with that asshole Axel, trying to figure out who the killer was — all of it —had it all been one big nightmare?
He soon realized that wasn’t the case. His lawyer came to see him and informed him of the things he’d been accused of (after the man had been contacted to come back and speak to his actual client). As of right now, he was found to be mentally unfit to stand trial thanks to an impassioned argument by his doctor as well as himself. But that could change at any time. Tom insisted he hadn’t done those horrific things, that Harry Warden did, but nobody seemed to believe him or was even listening.
For the first few days, Tom had been desperate. A doctor came in and met with him, asked him how he was feeling, and then fully explained the disorder he had been diagnosed with. It turned out that he had been misdiagnosed in the last institution he had been in and improperly medicated. That was why the medication never worked. They had been treating him for delusions when in reality he had Dissociative Identity Disorder. He was going to be starting a therapy regimen as soon as possible. Harry had already been involuntarily involved in the program since his arrival here. The doctor also informed him that they had to keep Harry heavily sedated but depending on how things went with Tom, they might not have to do the same with him.
Tom had been completely dumbfounded. It was bad enough that he still carried the trauma of what happened back in ‘98 and it had followed him around for a decade, literally, but now Harry had become a permanent part of him? He would now never be able to outrun Harry. Not to mention, he was now officially on the hook for multiple murders thanks to the surly son of a bitch, even after what happened in 1997 and then a year later when he woke from his coma. Tom’s body count was extensive and he himself hadn’t even done anything. Well, except forget to bleed the lines that one time which led to the collapse that then started all of this, he supposed. So maybe he truly was responsible for all of those people’s horrific deaths, whether he swung the pickaxe himself or not.
One morning before the therapy began, they came to get him and brought him to a room that looked strikingly similar to a police interrogation room, with the two-sided mirror and everything, though there was white padding on the walls. He protested when they strapped him into a straitjacket but they told him it was for his own safety as well as the doctor’s. As if that weren’t enough, two large orderlies picked corners of the room to stand in, watching his every move. 
Someone popped their head in to tell Tom his doctor would be meeting with him shortly, they were just finishing up with another patient. All Tom could do was nod. “Thanks,” he muttered.
A few minutes later, the doctor he’d been waiting for walked in. His eyes nearly popped out of his head when he saw it was you. You gave him a small smile and took the seat opposite him. “Hello, Tom. I’m Dr. Y/N Y/L/N. How are we feeling today?”
“Um…okay.” He was still trying to recover from the shock of seeing you there. He hadn’t seen you since that night all of those years ago, right before he left town. He also thought you were working at Harmony Memorial last he heard, a pit stop he planned to make once he’d signed the papers to sell the mines. That is, before everything went to shit. “Y/N? What’s going on?”
“It’s Dr. Y/L/N,” you corrected. “And nothing’s going on. I’m here to evaluate you before we start your therapy regimen.” You opened a file and began glancing at the papers within. “The court requires it.”
Tom felt so lost. It had been hard enough waking up to what he did but now you were here? Clearly his doctor? And you were pretending not to know him? He didn’t know what to think or where to stick his head. “This can’t be real,” he said to himself and shook his head. “This can’t—”
“Shhh,” you soothed. “It’s okay, Tom. This is very real and we’re going to help you.” You clicked your pen and began making notes in his chart. 
“Yeah, but you— You’re— And you’re pretending like— This can’t be real.”
Your eyes snapped up to his and you stopped writing. He didn’t know what you saw but you got to your feet and circled the table. You snapped your fingers and both orderlies looked away. “Actually, Tom, there’s something I forgot to mention.” You came up behind him and his nerves began to spike. Was he about to be drugged? Attacked? Would he finally wake up from this nightmare? Maybe he’d wake up to you; he’d give anything to have that happen. 
He jumped a little when he felt your lips at his ear. “I’ll love you forever,” you whispered.
Automatically, the corner of Tom’s lips tipped up in a smile. Hearing that from you brought back so many good memories of your times together, of your relationship. He didn’t instantly relax but he felt a little lighter than he had a moment ago. 
“Welcome back, Tom. I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you, too, sweetheart,” he whispered back to you.
His smile grew when he felt you brush a tender kiss to the side of his head before you straightened up and made your way back around the table. You snapped your fingers again and the orderlies were now facing forward, watching you both intently. 
You sat back down and picked up your pen, giving him a genuine smile. “Now, Tom, shall we get started?”
He wished he could reach across the table and take your hand in his. You still looked at him as you did all of those years ago, like he didn’t have a murderous personality that left pain and suffering and dead bodies in its wake. You still looked at him as if he was the same guy you’d given your heart and body to back in high school. The same guy you’d once told that after you finished med school (when you got in), that you’d want to settle down with him and eventually start a family with him. The same guy you said you’d move wherever whenever for him if he didn’t want to stay in Harmony, if he didn’t want to take over for his dad one day. The same guy you looked at with complete devotion, affection, and reverence that he knew he didn’t deserve. And with you looking at him just like that right now, he knew he still didn’t deserve it but God did he love you for it. You still loved him; it was clear as day in your eyes. He realized then that you had meant back then every single word of what you just said; you would love him forever. He had meant what he said to you back then, too. Though he never should’ve given you up when his old man demanded it. What the hell had he been thinking?
You arched your brows at him expectantly, almost as if you knew what he had been thinking. 
He leaned forward a little and gave you a soft smile, hoping you would understand what he was trying to tell you. “Always.”
You returned his smile, giving him a wink. You’d heard him. He began to relax and your smile then turned into a more professional one. “That’s what I like to hear. Alright, Tom. Let’s begin, shall we?”
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A/N: For the record, I highly doubt Y/N could have been Tom's doctor, especially since a prosecutor could have argued that it was a conflict of interest and possibly gotten any records she'd made inadmissible. I think, anyway. But it was too fun an idea not to explore. Plus, I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that someone who has been diagnosed with DID is not incapable of being tried by the law for crimes committed, even if it was committed by one of their alters and they are completely innocent (I think). But I couldn't just have Tom go straight to jail in this one or even to trial. I wanted to focus on him coming back and Y/N helping him as well as their sort of reunion.
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englishstrawbie · 6 months ago
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Station 19 7x09
Now that was one hell of an episode! Forgive me, this might get long.
Carina DeLuca, I was a little mad that you tried to ruin another sexy moment with baby talk but then you did that little lick before you kissed Maya's abs, so all is forgiven. 🔥 Also Carina describing Maya as her "hot, hot, hot wife" when the episode gave us that ending felt intentional and mean.
The mutual "I love you", the nose rub, the kiss... I love these sweet moments between them. And then there was the "I'll see you at home", which said just as much, like they were willing it to be true because they both know that the wildfires are going to be a hard fight. Especially after Carina had just been treating a patient whose husband was lost in the woods.
"What if this is it? What if I never see him again?" ... we all know where Carina's mind went at that moment.
"I'm sure he's doing whatever he can to find his way back to you" ... oh, I hope she hangs on to these words when she finds out about Maya. (Assuming she does...? It seems to me like they need to get Maya out of that fire pretty damn quick, before Carina even has chance to find out.)
"Monogamy is for the weak" ... "Or the very very dedicated, that's what I said - and that's who I am now" ... THANK YOU for remembering the whole line. It drives me crazy when people only quote the first part, when the second part of it says a whole lot more about who Maya was then and who she is now. That said, I have mixed feelings about the idea of her offering to get pregnant if Carina can't - because the whole point of pushing the IVF at the same time as adopting Liam is because it's Carina's dream to carry a child and experience childbirth. Still, it says a lot about how much she's changed that she's even willing to think about doing it.
THE ENDING. I expect it's been said enough already but HOLY SH*T. What a way to end the episode, to set up Carina for joy and heartbreak at the same time. Stefania's acting was on point in that moment, the little "no" of disbelief when Helm told her she was pregnant and her "why, do you think it's Maya's?" joke. Contrasted against Maya's absolute panic as the flames surrounded her (even if the special effects of the fire were a little distracting). I don't actually believe it will end in heartbreak, I very much believe that Maya and Carina will get their happy ever after with lots of babies. If anything, I suspect we may see Maya question her job with the fire service again as it feels like it's been leading to that - and I'm still not keen on that idea, but (as someone else pointed out to me) if that's her decision, at least she makes it on her own terms.
Although, at this rate, Andy is going to be left with a team at 19 made up of her ex-husband and Beckett. 👀
I loved all the Maya and Andy scenes we got, I'm glad their friendship has been more prominent this season. I love hearing them both say how proud they are of each other.
Maya Kathleen? Didn't they mean Maya Katherine, after her mom?
All the throwbacks to previous episodes and scenes were great and I hope that continues into the next episode. Dibs on the puppy. Hughie. The five OGs on top of the fire truck was such a wonderful scene, watching them all get into the same position as the last time we saw them there. It made me sad that Dean and Jack weren't there.
"We're 19 - family forever" ... ❤️❤️
I hope Theo getting hurt doesn't interfere with Vic's plans to move to DC with Crisis One. It's where she belongs. I love the idea of Travis going with her, although he has good chemistry with the new guy whose name I don't remember.
This was an A+ episode for me and I really really hope next week's finale lives up to the same hype.
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