#cardinals and comfy chairs

[stellarfirmaquotes]

TREXEL : The Dark Rider

The Shadow Ministe

Undersecretary for Death

The Nine Night Knight

The Spoken On

TREXEL : Cleaning the Streets of Dirt. Do not defy Cardinal Fang.

IMOGEN[Beep] : Cardinal Fang!

TREXEL : He ministers to your very soul. He ministers to your dreams. He takes your dreams. He turns them dream-like into further dreams then puts them back into your head, and you’re like, “Are they my dreams?” Cardinal Fang!

IMOGEN[Beep] : Cardinal Fang!

TREXEL : Cardinal Fang! Lord of Hypnos! Cardinal Fang... Lord of All. Foam Trumpet.

TREXEL and IMOGEN[Beep] : Cardinal Fang!

TREXEL : The Unexpected Noise. Under your mattress! You hear a creaking. You think it’s just the wind rustling at the eaves of your old country shack. You open a cabinet to get a glass of water out that you put in there earlier. Who do you see?

TREXEL and IMOGEN[Beep] : Cardinal Fang!

DAVID : Okay, I have to ask, what is Cardinal Fang’s actual job?

TREXEL and IMOGEN[Beep] : Cardinal Fang!

TREXEL : Keeper of Records. Knower of All.

DAVID : Okay.

TREXEL and IMOGEN[Beep] : Cardinal Fang!

DAVID : For Stellar Firma, or...?

TREXEL and IMOGEN[Beep] : Cardinal Fang!

TREXEL : Gatekeeper to the Maintenance Closet of Life.

TREXEL and IMOGEN[Beep] : Cardinal Fang!

DAVID : Right, so whose maintenance closet is this?

TREXEL and IMOGEN[Beep] : Cardinal Fang!

TREXEL : Upkeep Minister of the Third Trimester.

TREXEL and IMOGEN[Beep] : Cardinal Fang!

DAVID : O—kay. So, he’s some kind of obstetrician?

TREXEL and IMOGEN[Beep] : Cardinal Fang!

TREXEL : Beyond Gynaecology.

TREXEL and IMOGEN[Beep] : Cardinal Fang—

DAVID : —Okay. So, he’s got a medical degree.

TREXEL and IMOGEN[Beep] : Cardinal Fang!

TREXEL : Long-term Academic. Ph.D. in Everything.

TREXEL and IMOGEN[Beep] : Cardinal (elongated and digitised)Fang!

DAVID : Right. Um, well, the one thing they absolutely want to have on this planet is a comfy chair.

TREXEL : Well, you know, everybody likes comfort.

TREXEL and IMOGEN[Beep] : Cardinal Fang!

TREXEL : Relaxer of Their Legs.

TREXEL and IMOGEN[Beep] : Cardinal Fang!

TREXEL : Everybody needs a nice sit down.

TREXEL and IMOGEN[Beep] : Cardinal Fang!

Cardinal Fang!

TREXEL : Administrator to My Neurons! Justica!

DAVID : Oh, so that’s just—

TREXEL : Templar! Avatar. Guiding Star. Temple Bar.

TREXEL and IMOGEN[Beep] : Cardinal Fang!

TREXEL : You know what you’re getting.

TREXEL and IMOGEN[Beep] : Cardinal Fang!

TREXEL : But is that what they want you to think?

TREXEL and IMOGEN[Beep] : Cardinal Fang!

[novankenn]

NOBODY...

(Spin-off of this)

Narrator: With the attack on Beacon thwarted... Amber escorted by Pyrrha, Ozpin, Professor Glynda Goodwitch find themselves standing in front of an aged but well functioning castle.

Ozpin: I have a bad feeling about this. Has anyone seen Mr Arc... recently?

Glynda: I have not.

Pyrrha: Sorry, Headmaster I haven't wither.

Amber: Whose Jaune? What is this all about? What the hell is going on!?

Ozpin: Ms Amber if you give me...

Amber: NO! There has been enough time. I want answers!

Ozpin: I'm sorry Ms Amber but I can't

Amber: (Maiden power flowing from her eyes) Ozpin... what is going on?

Ozpin: I'm trying to tell you, but you are not giving me a chance to! It's like one of my past lives!

Pyrrha: ...

Glynda: ...

Amber: ... Huh?

Ozpin: I'm trying my best to answer your questions but I never EXPECTED you to act like the Spanish Inquisition!!!

TRUMPET FANFARE!!!

Narrator: As if they had been magically summoned.. Jaune Arc flanked by Sun Wukong and Scarlet David rushed out of the castle's front doors... intent on doing the Pope's will...

Pyrrha: Jaune?

Glynda: Mr Arc? Mr Wukong? Mr David?

Amber: Huh?

Ozpin: No... he's been using his Semblance... Ridiculous Reality too long!

Pyrrha: ...

Glynda: ...

Amber: Huh?

Jaune: HOW DO YOU PLEAD?

Ozpin: How does who plead?

Jaune: HER!

Glynda: ME???

Jaune: How do you PLEAD? I will not ask again!

Glynda: Plead to what?

Jaune: Cardinal read the charges!

Ozpin, Pyrrha and Amber just stand there entirely gob smacked at what they were witnessing.

Cardinal(Sun): You are hereby charged with treason, heresy, and unconscious seduction of the entire student population of Beacon!

Glynda: WHAT???

Jaune: How do you PLEAD?

Glynda: Innocent!

Jaune: That's what they all say! Biggels!

Biggels(Scarlet): Yes sir?

Jaune: Fetch the Pillows!

Biggels(Scarlet): At once!

Jaune: This is your last chance Heretic! How do you plead?

Glynda: *Totally Confused* Innocent?

Jaune: Biggels! Poke her with the pillows!

Narrator: As ruthless as Jaune and his companions were... Glynda was made of sterner stuff then they had anticipated...

Pyrrha: Headmaster? Are you alright?

Ozpin: *Weaving on his feet with a hand pressed against his forehead* I'm fine... just a headache..

Amber: Huh?

Cardinal(Sun): It's not working sir!

Jaune: I see. Then we have no other recourse! fetch the Comfy Chair!

Jaune: Yes! The COMFY CHAIR!

Narrator: As Glynda was futher subjected to the absolute horrors of the barbaric torture of the Jaune as his companions... Pyrrha, and Amber stood there unsure of what they should... or could do...

Ozpin: My head!

Pyrrha: Headmaster?

Narrator: The ridiculousness of the entire situation had finally overwhelmed the ageless mind of Ozama...

Ozpin: *Shaking his head* Where... where am I?

Amber: Huh?

Glynda: Fine I confess! I dress like this because I get a thrill out of seeing ALL my students lust after me! NOW can we stop this absurdity?

Jaune: NO... because there are others...

Narrator: The newly freed Ozpin stumbled away in confusion as Jaune and his companions focused their gaze upon Pyrrha...

Jaune: DO you have anything to...

Pyrrha: I CONFESS!!! I love you Jaune! I've loved you for months!

Narrator: The utter shock of that confession snapped Jaune's mind free of his semblance... along with Sun and Scarlet.

Jaune: Where am I? What's going on?

Narrator: With another disaster adverted... peace settles over Beacon and Vale... but for how long???

Amber: What the fu...????

[homeofthelonelywriter]

Let's call it Fate | Part 2

(A/N) Probably a bit of a boring chapter, I apologize. But I'm excited for Primo's relationship with the Reader to evolve.

Pairing: Cardinal Copia x Reader (no Y/N)

Warning: google translate translations, abusive parents (especially mother), arranged marriage, age gap, bullying, talk of grandparents and death of a grandparent

Prologue | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13

Once in your room, a relieved sigh escaped you. This would be your safe haven for the next few months, your safe space. And you were sure you were going to need it.

While you were standing there, your back against the door, your eyes swept across the room. The furniture was simple. A wooden desk with a wooden chair to match. Above the desk were a few shelves, mostly unoccupied, but with a few books already on them. There was also a desk lamp, along with a college block and a few pens. Everything was ready for classes to begin.

On the other side of the room was a large wooden wardrobe, more than enough space for the few clothes you brought. Between the wardrobe and the desk sat a simple wooden desk with a mattress, pillow and blanket, all covered in black linen. Not something you’d necessarily chose, but it looked very comfy. Of course there was also a nightstand, with another lamp on it. And opposite the bed, a large mirror hung on the wall. Together with your habit.

You pushed off of the door and reached out, letting your fingers run over the fabric. It was soft, comfortable. Not too thick or too thin. Carefully, you pulled it off the hanger and laid it out on the bed, admiring it for a second. When you had heard of the uniform, the habit, the first thing you thought of was what nuns wore in Catholic churches. And this was similar, but so much better.

It was a form fitting, black dress that reached just above the knees. The fabric that covered above the chest and down the arms was made of a black, see-through material. The dress was beautiful to say the least. It didn’t feel like a habit or a uniform, it just felt like a dress and all you wanted in that moment, was to try it on. You reached down, and pulled your shirt over your head, but then you hesitated. You…smelt.

With a sigh, you pulled the shirt back down, deciding that you needed a shower before you could change. You quickly grabbed one of the suitcases, the one that contained all your necessities and moved to the door on the other side of the room. As you expected, it lead into a small bathroom with a toilet, a sink and a shower. Everything you’d need.

You quickly opened the suitcase and took out everything you’d need, before tying your hair up and stripping. After turning the shower on, you waited for a few moments, before you checked the temperature and once it was warm enough, you stepped under the water and let it wash away everything that happened that day. The goodbyes, the tears, the pain and the regret.

You couldn’t change what had happened, no use in worrying about it now. All you could do was make the best of it and enjoy your time here. Maybe even make some new friends.

You finished your shower as quickly as you could, not wanting to waste too much time in there. Time that you could spend exploring. Once you jumped out, you dried off, let down your hair and applied some cream. Then you made your way back to your room and put on the dress, admiring yourself in the mirror for a second or two. After all pride is one of the deadly sins, why not indulge in it for a bit?

Once you had your fill, you pulled on the black moccasins and stepped out the door. On the way out, you checked for a lock, but didn’t find one. Apparently there was a lost of trust in the Ministry. The feeling of leaving all your belongings in an unlocked room made you feel uneasy, but there was nothing you could do about it in the moment. So you decided to explore instead.

With quick steps, you left the dorm area, taking random lefts and rights. You didn’t care where you were going, you just wanted to look around. While exploring, you passed numerous siblings of sin, as well as Ghouls, but no one stopped to talk to you or stopped you. So at least you weren’t wandering into some sort of restricted area.

After about half an hour, you suddenly found yourself outside. You must’ve reached the backyard, since you didn’t see this area when you arrived. And good lord below, was it a massive backyard. Miles of grass with fields and a large greenhouse. And where the grass ended, a forest began, probably still part of the Ministry.

You slowly made your way towards the greenhouse, curious as to what was being kept inside. Once there, you noticed that the door was slightly ajar. At least you wouldn’t have any issues getting inside. And you were glad you decided to explore it. The tables along the glass walls were lined with flowers, both local and exotic. It almost looked (and felt) like you were in the middle of the jungle. Further back, in a different section, you found all kinds of different fruits and vegetables. And…strawberries. And they were ripe. You let your fingers trail over one that looked especially delicious when a voice suddenly startled you.

“Please, take one and try it. They are especially delicious this year.”

You spun around and came face to face with an elderly man. If it weren’t for the paint on his face, you would’ve thought that he was any old member of the Ministry, but he wasn’t. He was Papa Primo.

“Papa.”

You quickly bowed your head in respect, but raised it once you heard him chuckle.

“Please, no need for formalità. It is rare that someone visits me down here, so I’m just happy.”

Your heart melted at his words and you immediately had to think of your grandfather. He passed a few years ago, but Papa Primo reminded you a lot of him. Wise and kind with understanding eyes. It felt as if you could trust him with all your secrets, with your problems and deepest thoughts.

“Are you lonely?”

The question escaped you before you could stop yourself. But he just chuckled again.

“I don’t think anyone ever asked me that question…but you could say that I’m lonely. Not always in a bad way, but sometimes I really want some company.”

You nodded, finally picking the strawberry. As well as a second one. With slow steps you walked over to Papa Primo and held out the second strawberry.

“Do you want some company now?”

With a gentle smile, Papa Primo took the strawberry from your fingers and nodded, nodding towards a set of chairs and a small table. You sat down with him and as if you were holding champagne flutes, you gently knocked the strawberries together in a cheer, before you both bit into them.

You groaned as the sweetness filled your mouth, a smile spreading on your lips. You even had to cup your free hand under your chin to catch the juice escaping your mouth. Papa Primo chuckled at your reaction and took another bite.

“Told you they were good.”

You chuckled and nodded in agreement, quickly finishing the rest of your strawberry.

“How do you get them to become so sweet? We had strawberries back where I lived, but they never tasted as good as these.”

“It sounds uh…cheesy but, cura e amore. Care and love is all that plants need to grow.”

You smiled and nodded. Although the staff at your parent’s house was dedicated, they didn’t have the time and energy to care for the plants that way. But Papa Primo had all the time in the world to care about his plants. And judging by the greenhouse, he truly did care.

As soon as the man noticed that you had finished your strawberry, he slowly got to his feet.

“You looked starved, let’s get you some more food. I have plenty of frutta you can try.”

You immediately jumped to your feet.

“Oh no, please. I-I can grab it on my own, you don’t have to, really-”

Papa Primo just waved you off.

“I can’t sit still for too long anyway. My muscoli start protesting if I do.”

You nod in understanding and follow him, as he grabs a small basket and wanders towards the fruit section of the greenhouse. Once the two of you had filled the basket to the brim with different fruit, you returned to the chairs and started snacking while you talked.

You expected him to immediately ask you if you were one of the new people. The students. But he didn’t mention it with a single word, instead treating you like any other person. Knowing that being a new person will define you for the next few months, him not acknowledging the fact was refreshing. Instead you talked about Satan and the world. And before you knew it…dinner had already started.

As soon as you noticed that, you jumped to your feet, frantic.

“Shit, shit, shit. I’m late. Cardinal Copia empathised that we have to be punctually for dinner.”

Papa Primo, once again, slowly got to his feet.

“Don’t you worry. All will be forgiven if you accompany me to the mess hall. We’ll just blame it on my vecchie ossa.”

Your anxiety quickly dissipated at his carefree nature and with a smile, offered him your arm. And he was right, his pace was slow, making you even later to dinner. But with him by your side you didn’t feel nervous, you felt safe. The kind of safe only a grandparent could make one feel.

So, you slowly made your way to the mess hall. And to be honest, you were glad that Papa Primo was with, because you would have had no idea how to get back there alone. Instead, he slowly lead you through the halls, elbow interlocked with yours.

Once you stood in front of the doors to the mess hall, he stopped and looked at you with a crooked grin.

“You ready to face the wrath of Copia?”

You chuckle, squirming next to the old man.

“Don’t tease me like that.”

He joined in your chuckle, before calming down and pushing the doors open. Immediately, the noises stopped and it felt as if every soul in that hall looked at you. But Papa Primo didn’t acknowledge it, so neither did you. Instead, you slowly helped him to his seat.

“Thank you, cara. I appreciate the help.”

You smiled at Papa Primo, before bowing your head in respect towards him, as well as his siblings and the rest of the people sitting at the head table. As you walked away, you quickly glanced at the Cardinal, finding him already looking at you, a kind smile on his face.

Translations: formalità...formailties cura e amore...care and love frutta...fruits muscoli...muscles vecchie ossa...old bones cara...dear

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Ghost Masterlist

Master-Masterlist

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[j-restlessgeek]

21, 24 & 25

Oh meow there my friend 😸😸💛💛💛

21. A random fact: I fell asleep in a makeup chair once, to be fair it was very comfy and the woman very nice, very calming presence. I also ate a lightbulb once and did not got cut (did not swallow it) According to my mom i once stripped to win an argument and did in fact win, stunned the other speechless (i was a small kid tho).

24. tattoos i want: oh i definitely want as much covered as possible, filling up my right sleeve with more eyes but make them bleeding galaxies instead of rotting flesh, my left arm i have plans to make a colourful sleeve with a certain rat cardinal, mothman in victorian style clothing portrait style with a frame, a friends drawing in her style, surrounded by colourful clouds (bright, greens, blues, violets), a wolpertinger (a bavarian mystical creature, similar to a jackalope but with wings, usually duck wings)

25. favourite blogs:

You of course, oh i hope no one minds me tagging them: @smimon @rockingpeeble @occhi-verdi-come-il-mare @jokeroutownstheworld @sepetajmikolikomehoces @morbid-things @mitamicah and so many more. But i don't wanna bother more people. 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰.

Thank you for asking 💛💛💛💛💛

[cjp-film]

The Blade and the Butterfly PD planning

Pinterest board:

‘Unknown location’

Props:

Fake blood

Lighting:

Dark studio

Fluorescent lights, stark, intense.

Shadows.

Cardinal theatre

Props:

Water Flasks (maybe just a sound effect?) but also for context would be good for them to have them.

Hoodies

General dance items - gym bag, shoes etc.

Costumes:

5 ballet dancer rehearsal outfits - comfy trousers, leotards, tracksuits. Tights with feet hooks - barefoot.

Andre outfit - Baggy black tracksuit, bright red wristband.

Pointe shoes?

Lighting:

Spotlights on the stage?

Maybe fill lighting?

Think what would be most practical for a rehearsal. Would they be practicing the technical side or just the dancing side?

What represents each character. Would Andre be darker and Sonia lighter.

Think how it may contrast/ compliment their clothing.

Colour Pallette:

Greys, whites, blacks.

Cardinal Theatre EXT

Props:

Banner - ‘Birth of the Butterfly - Ballet Performance - CARDINAL THEATRE EDINBURGH doors at 8pm’

Van

Neon shop lights (dependent on location).

Black cloth

Bin and Cat (sound effects?)

Costumes:

Sonia’s Headphones

Figure dressed in all black

Lighting:

Dark - nighttime

Street lights

Colour pallette:

Dark.

Abandoned Nightclub

Props:

Binding fabric

Chair which she is tied to

Graffiti and murals.

Glass of whiskey

Flip phone

Axe

Makeshift throne

Lighter something funky

Fake blood

Tooth GOLD TOOTH

Costumes:

‘K’ tattoos FEATHER TATTOO

Kevin - white blazer (or something distinctive from rest of gang)

Rest of the crew (3 men) dark clothing.

Andre’s wristband

Pointe shoes

Lighting:

Moody, gloomy.

Haze.

Lighting shining through the fabric.

Colour Pallette:

Dark with pops of colour from the walls.

Notes:

Depending on location graffiti may have to change to posters.

Sonia’s face turning red - makeup?

Abandoned Nightclub Ext

Props:

Phone

’GG’ sign on the door

‘Groove Grotto’ sign

Old posters and flyers

Cigarette

Costumes:

Andre - same as before, perhaps a coat.

Lighting:

Flickering light above the sign.

Colour Pallette:

Night time, dark greens and blacks.

Cardinal Theatre - Performance Scene

Costumes:

Bloody pointe shoes

Butterfly outfit

Butterfly makeup

Lighting:

Stage lights

Bright white

Colour pallette:

White, hints of light blue.

Q and A with director/ Producer

After I read the most recent draft of the script I had a few questions for Kushal and Joseph about how they wanted to go forward with production design. We had had a few meetings beforehand but some things had changed or didn’t make sense to me so here I have written what we have cleared up:

Do you want the dancers wearing pointe shoes in the rehearsal scene at the start or to be barefoot? - Normal ballet flats. Like sock shoes.

What kind of lighting are we thinking for the first theatre scenes? - White light, bright dependent on location. Windows.

VAN??? - might need to be removed from script, or sound effect.

Bin and cat - sound effects? - same as above.

Why does Sonia have a flip phone? - The film is set in early 2000s. Something for Kevin to take from her.

What kind of graffiti did you want for the nightclub? - Like it’s been abandoned, perhaps if not graffiti then ripped up posters on the walls. Dependant on location, as we can’t exactly graffiti.

Is the blood on Sonia’s pointe shoes from the fight or from her working too hard? 1.5 litres of blood. - Actress does not want blood on her pointe shoes. (Understandably) Need to remove from script.

Does the actress have her own shoes as I assume she won’t want to get blood on those? - As above.

Did we get rid of the gold tooth? - Gold tooth in script was removed as could be seen as too cliche. I could find one on amazon and we considered this but also we have planned the shots and we would need a close up of it and we don’t have time.

Kevin is written to have a ‘makeshift throne’, I’m not sure if I will have time to source/ make this so is there any possible alternative? - Yes, we can have him sitting on a stool, or on the bar as long as he is clearly higher that the action, watching over it.

It all happens in the same night? So we don’t have to change Andre or Sonia’s costume? - yes.

Have we got cast for the other 4 ballerinas - not yet.

Makeup artist - fake blood? - The makeup artist has a small bit of her own fake blood which we can use for touch ups but we will need to buy 2 litres of fake blood on top of this.

Tied up to a chair? Won’t she be able to move? - this has been changed to her tied up as she sits on the ground.

FP

[mcklunkers]

Additional Mushy May (because I forgot that May ended)

8- Sick Fic w/ Cardinal!Secondo

When Isabella walked into her Cardinal's office after returning from his older brother's recent abbey tour, she was disappointed to find that he was not present. The computer was off, paperwork was piled into a “to do” pile that seemingly hadn’t been touched in days – even the coffee mug was empty! She felt a sense of loss: he always came and met her at the abbey’s door when she returned, and if he couldn’t make it he’d be at his desk on a call waiting sweep her into his arms at the first possible opportunity. He wouldn’t have wrapped up any call that was important enough to not greet them in the time it had taken her to go and change into comfy clothes.

Yet here she was, alone in the office, a small strip of light coming from a gap in the curtains providing just enough light for her to see the dust particles floating in the air. No one had been here in a while. Fear began to grasp her – he had been talking to her the whole time she had been away, daily calls, texts, and photos ranging from stupid things his younger brothers had done to more R-Rated content that was specifically targeted to her (those were some of her favourites. She liked to point out things in the background of his photos until he would frustratedly call her. A disgruntled pout and grumbled “Tesoro, I am trying to seduce you, stop talking about the mugs on the side table.” It was one of her proudest moments).

Unsure of where else he would be, she wandered in the general direction of his rooms. After climbing the frankly unreasonable amount of stairs, she arrived to find his door ajar and the sound of voices coming from within.

Peeking her head around the doorway, her hand flew to cover her mouth and her eyes grew wide. Sat in a chair dragged to the side of the large bed was Papa Primo, with little Terzo and Copia sitting in his lap. Little Alessandro and Andrea were enraptured in their brotherly bickering, something that their older brothers frequently complained to her about (they both found it endearing and got irritated if anyone else complained about it, but she would never tell them that she knew that). Her attention was drawn to the man on the bed. Propped up near the middle by a small army of pillows was her Cardinal, her Secondo, her Marco. His leg seemed to be in a cast, and from the dopey grin on his face there would be some weed missing from her apothecary if she checked.

She straightened up and entered the room, knocking lightly on the door to draw attention so she didn’t startle any of the Emeritus’s present (it is lesser-known clergy lore that the entire Emeritus family startle very easily when distracted by conversation). Four pairs of mismatched eyes shot in her direction, and two small figures flew from their Papa perch to wrap themselves around her legs in tight hugs. She ruffled their hair, the soft and thick locks sliding through her fingers and grounding her as she tore her gaze away from her lover to ask them how they’d been the past couple of months. As their little voices began to excitedly jabber on, interrupting each other periodically, a louder voice she knew much better chimed in with a whiny

“AMOOOOOOOREEEEEEEEE!!! Where is MY hello stellina, huh?!”

Good god she missed that man. Isabella untangled herself from the two boys – who were beaming at the attention they just received as they scrambled back into their spots on Primos lap, the new Papa’s arms wrapping around them to keep them secure. She approached the opposite side of the bed to the brothers, sitting on her side of the mattress and doing her best not to jostle the leg that was propped up as she leaned in to give him a small kiss, batting away the arms making grabby hands in her general direction as his eyes fluttered shut.

“Hello my love. What happened here?”

He huffed out a little sigh, mumbling under his breath. He only did this when he was embarrassed or a little too high, and based on the redness of his eyes it was probably both in this particular moment. A grin found its way to her lips as he avoided her gaze.

“One more time there, Marco?”

He grimaced and took a breath.

“I had a migraine so I stole from Giovanni’s stash in the apothecary to get rid of it, but I got hungry and I fell down the stairs and now my leg is broken.”

There were some high-pitched giggles and some gentle shushing from across the bed, and Isabella found herself biting her cheek not to smile at the pout resting on the next Papa’s face. His cheeks were flushed, his moustache had been joined by light stubble along his jaw telling her that this incident had probably occurred a couple of weeks ago. His hair was fluffy and sticking up in every direction as his head flopped onto his shoulder so he could look at her face.

“Poor baby,” she said, brushing his hair out of his face, “we’re back now, we can look after you.”

“Stay?”

His voice was so soft, so quiet that if Primo’s eyes weren’t sparkling with unshed tears at how his brother had grown, she would assume she was imagining it.

She nodded, leaning in to give him another kiss, this one longer and conveying all of the love she felt. There was movement across the room, a couple of “Ewww” and “Gross!” becoming quieter as the young boys were herded out of the room back to their lessons. The door shut, and kicked off her shoes, scooching up the mattress so he could lean on her a bit more. Despite the persona he had created for himself out in the abbey, in the privacy of their room Secondo, her Marco, was one of the gentlest and most caring people she had ever known. He was also a notoriously awful patient, and if snuggles were the only way to distract him well… she would simply have to hug her love.

“Te Amo, Tesoro.” Came the mans voice, mumbled by her stomach where his head had found its new home.

She ran her fingers through his hair.

“Te Amo, Mio Marco”.

Isabella was very glad to be home.

[the-gnomish-bastard]

Cardinal Fang! Fetch… the comfy chair!

You're famous!

It’s not over yet

[stellar-benedictions]

May you flail to no avail.

[froodlemonkey]

Cardinal Fang

As much as I did want to see the documentary "Cardinal Fang: Beyond Gynocology", the reveal in Episode 20 that they (and maybe by extension their church?) were a benevolent force of kindness and washed socks was kinda comforting. With the possible exception of Bathin's nipples, I think Cardinal Fang is the only purely good entity in the whole Stellar Firma 'verse.

[charnamefic]

I’m super glad this episode answered the AFAIK unasked but — I now realize — crucial question of “how is waste dealt with if there is no bathroom?” but I also feel like if David 7 is such an unusually gooey boy, Trexel should hose him down or something. Responsible people with bio facsimile assistants would probably let them run through a garden sprinkler or something every now and again.

[stellarfirmaquotes]

TREXEL : You can’t blame me! I’m like gravity! Or falling over when somebody attractive is looking at you.

[plurdledgabbleblotchits]

“Ximinez: Now, old woman – you are accused of heresy on three counts – heresy by thought, heresy by word, heresy by deed, and heresy by action – *four* counts. Do you confess? Wilde: I don’t understand what I’m accused of. Ximinez: Ha! Then we’ll make you understand! Biggles! Fetch…THE CUSHIONS! Biggles: Here they are, lord. Ximinez: Now, old lady – you have one last chance. Confess the heinous sin of heresy, reject the works of the ungodly – *two* last chances. And you shall be free – *three* last chances. You have three last chances, the nature of which I have divulged in my previous utterance. Wilde: I don’t know what you’re talking about. Ximinez: Right! If that’s the way you want it – Cardinal! Poke her with the soft cushions! Ximinez: Confess! Confess! Confess! Biggles: It doesn’t seem to be hurting her, lord. Ximinez: Have you got all the stuffing up one end? Biggles: Yes, lord.”

Ximinez [angrily hurling away the cushions]: Hm! She is made of harder stuff! Cardinal Fang! Fetch...THE COMFY CHAIR!

[ask-the-clergy-bc]

What would a trip to the movies with the Papas+ Copia be like for a s/o?

Papa Nihil: A trip to the Cinema? It’s always exciting for Papa Nihil! He gets so giddy like a child. He might be more picky about what exactly he wants to watch, but Papa is just happy to do something exciting with you! He’s especially excited if you are going to view re-screenings of old movies from back in the 60′s or 70′s! Nihil will be more than happy to fill up on movie snacks if you so wished. He’s more content to see the film than to eat, so it will mainly be whatever you want from the concession stand. 

You’ll definitely have to find very comfy seats at the right distance from the screen. Too far back and Nihil won’t be able to see a damn thing. But you better hope the seats aren’t TOO comfortable... because Nihil will end up sleeping through the entire movie that way. And I mean the ENTIRE movie!! Chances are he’ll be out before the previews are even over, and won’t startle awake until the ending credits. Nihil always just smiles and mentions how much he enjoyed the show! 

Papa I: Depending on the theater, it can be hit or miss for him when it comes to comfort. Not all theater chairs feel good on his back! If you can go to one of those fancy places with the plushier chairs, it’s perfect! Papa is the type to ALWAYS insist you go out to eat or have a meal before the movie. He hates being hungry during a movie, but also is not fond of movie food. If you really are adamant about treats, he will buy you whatever you want and possibly a water for himself. 

The man watches movies like he is critically appraising every single aspect of the film. Has a serious, squinted eyed face as he watches the entire thing. Papa almost looks like he hated the entire movie until after, when he gives it compliments on the writing/cinematography/acting. It’s very unnerving seeing him get so into analyzing films, even if it’s a crappy rom com or cheesy slasher. Papa is more likely going to want to discuss the points of film and film theory with you after. 

Papa II: Going to the movies with this man is an entire affair within itself. First you have to actually choose the movie. Papa won’t sit through anything animated, childish, or for what he deems as ‘cheap humor.’ So it’s definitely a big no to mindless comedies or the newest Disney and Pixar films! But he will go to anything that has good reviews, excellent writing, or witty humor! Especially if you want to go see old black and white films re played! Papa also won’t say no to a psychological thriller. 

Absolutely refuses to share a theater with anyone besides you and MAYBE closer companions. Papa books the entire theater room exclusively for you. Papa also refuses to eat any of the snack bar’s food. If you are eating during to the movie you better believe it’s going to be with fine dining! So he expects full service food and wine for your pleasure. He’ll be DAMNED before he goes anywhere near artificial buttered popcorn! Anything else and you’ll have to go get it yourself (whoops!) Refuses to go to any movie theater with cheap, uncomfortable seats. 

Papa III: He’s the most fun to be had with at the movies! Loves the novelty of the whole experience. There is something so fun and quaint to him about going to one of these theaters, buying your tickets, getting over priced snacks, and just relaxing in a dark theater. Papa isn’t particularly picky on the types of movies he will go see- as long as the movie is entertaining in SOME way, he will be pleased. Will not shoot down animated films or the newest block buster super hero movie! Will buy you WHATEVER your heart desires at the snack stand- every candy, drink, or popcorn combo you want! 

He has two modes during movies, if they don’t capture his full attention. Both are equally distracting. His first mode is “This is boring let’s make out.” Shameless man will want to make out with you like two teenagers on a date. Insists no one can see and no one will be watching! The other half is he gets SUPER into the film but will not shut the fuck up the entire time. When papa has a good time he just wants to CHAT about it! Hopefully you have the theater to yourself, or everyone is going to just ‘SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH’ at him!! 

 Cardinal Copia: The Cardinal LOVES the movies! He grew up adoring all types of films, so getting to go is an unblessed treat! Copia works so much lately that it’s a nice break to just sit, see a good film, and be by your side. Granted, he will never go see something he deems mind numbingly stupid like a crappy comedy (think like Pixels or Sausage Party)- but he’s up for most things! Bonus points if you can go to an old vintage theater or one that was converted from an old opera house! He’s not too keen on the popcorn, but Copia is totally down for a slushie and some boxed candy! 

Copia is a very easy going movie viewer- not overly loud and not one to sleep. He will be very attentive and finds himself lost in the film. You can tell he’s definitely enjoying himself! If you have been together for a while he’s the type to either hold your hand or wrap an arm around you (or honestly, he might be the one to have an arm around HIM!) Always insists you stay for the easter egg scenes or after credit snippets! Copia is also the type to start clapping after movies he thinks are REALLY good. 

[soulnottainted]

“Don’t you dare. No, no puppy face of yours is gonna work…” with Copia! :)

@ultradumpsterwolf

A gentle knock came at the door at Papa IV’s door.

“Please, come in,” his smooth accented voice replied as he peered up from his work at his desk. He had been working like crazy, but he didn’t feel like it was as much as he did as a Cardinal. He wasn’t being tested anymore, he was the real deal. Frankly, it was scary, but he had the light of his life to help him, as he would help her.

Kelsey slowly creaked the door open, wearing a blue blazer and pants that matched Copia’s robes. A small, shy smile was on her face, the expression similar to when she first met Copia. But, the smile turned warmer as she saw her husband’s eyes lock with her’s.

“Hi Papa.”

“Hello Lady Superior,” he chuckled lightly in reply as he set down his pen with a gloved hand, “Do not be a stranger, come in Kelsey, come.”

Nodding, she came in and closed the door behind her quickly, “You know me, I don’t want to disturb you.”

“You never disturb me dear, never.” He sat back in his chair, smiling at Kelsey with adoration, “So what is up? Need anything of me?”

“There uh...there is one thing.”

“If it is for cuddles, I’ll have to take a break in a few hours.”

Kelsey sighed deeply. Copia had been working non stop one day. He needed a break anyway. He was overworking himself cooped up in there, and then all the pressure from everyone else was on him.

Walking up to Copia’s desk, she stopped right before his chair and asked, “Copia please, you’ve been working too hard. You need a cuddle break. I need a cuddle break. We’re both stressed up the wazoo.”

She even put her lip out like she was about to cry, which definitely looked cartoony and over the top. She quivered her lip comically.

“Oh don’t you dare,” he raised a finger and half-sand his words, “No, no puppy dog face is going to work!”

She stood there for several minutes, staring at him in the face, and then he cracked.

A sigh escaped him, “Well...” His hands went to rest in his lap, “I have worked more today than yesterday....Oh, alright, come here.”

Content with his answer, Kelsey cooed and went to sit in Copia’s lap, pressing her face into his shoulder, the gentle and clean smelling robes feeling like a comfort blanket. She moved to where her legs draped off the arm of his chair.

“Oh, how could I resist you being so adorable, hm?” he nuzzled her nose before booping not with a finger. “Your Papa needed this too, he just didn’t know it...Oh, I guess a twenty minute break wouldn’t hurt.”

She was so comfy in his lap, his arms around her securely. Sure, they were higher status now, but they would never stop being love birds.

[cromulentbookreview]

Diabolical Reviewing

Nobody expects Renata Convida!

Her main weapon is surprise - surprise and fear! Fear and surprise - Her two weapons are fear and surprise, and ruthless efficiency - 

Her three weapons are fear, and surprise, and ruthless efficiency - and an almost fanatical devotion to the King’s Justice!

Her four...no... Amongst her weapons.... Amongst her weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... 

I'll come in again.

And by that, I mean: 

Incendiary by Zoraida Córdova!

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Oh, did you think there weren’t going to be Monty Python jokes in this review? In a book based on Inquisition-era Spain?

I mean, I could do all sorts of History of the World: Part I jokes, too, if you’d like.

If only the real Spanish Inquisition had been this fun. It wasn’t. It really wasn’t.

I could do this all day. But on to the review!

Renata Convida is a Robari – she can steal memories out of someone’s mind. Renata is part of the Moria. No, not the Mines of Moria –

The Moria are a people capable of magic – most Moria have the ability to persuade or cast illusions, but Robari like Renata are rare. Even among her own people, Robari are viewed with suspicion – I mean, would you trust someone who could rip all your memories out of your brain, leaving you with a blank space where a memory should be?

The Moria used to be part of their own nation, but they were conquered by the Kingdom of Puerto Leones. Under the reign of King Fernando, there has been a massive effort to wipe out the Moria –very much like the way Spain wanted to get rid of the Jews and the Moors and basically anyone deemed not Catholic enough. Anyway, the Moria have been forced underground. The crown, however, hypocrites that they are, keeps a Hand of Moria (basically one Moria capable of each of the various abilities) under their control, using their so-called “unnatural” magic for their own ends. Because they’re not just assholes, they’re also scumbags!

(Listen to Small Town Murder, people).

When she was a child, Renata was kidnapped and brought to the palace to serve as one of the Hand of Moria, as the crown’s pet Robari. She was kept under the protection of the head Inquisitor, Justice Mendez. When she was nine, the Whispers (Moria rebels) set fire to the capital and managed to rescue Ren, taking her away from the palace and turning her into a true Moria rebel.

I mean, it’s a rebellion, isn’t it?

Our story begins with Ren and her unit, led by Ren’s boyfriend Dez, discovering that the crown possesses a kind of weapon that can drain Moria of their magic. The Whispers must act in order to stop the mass use of this weapon against their people. Only Dez is captured and taken to the capital to be executed. Ren races to save him…only everything goes horribly, horribly wrong, and Ren herself is captured and taken to the palace dungeons. Bereft of hope, Ren plays the one card left to her: she demands to see Justice Mendez, and concocts a story about “escaping” from the Whispers, and desperately wanting to return to her position as the King’s pet Robari. Mendez, who has always had a soft spot for Ren, takes her back immediately. Inside the palace, Ren has a chance to find the weapon and take down the throne from the inside...so long as she isn’t caught.

And that’s only the start of the story!

Any more than that, and I start to wander into some serious spoiler territory. Anyway: it may start slow, but do not let that fool you: Incendiary is a roller coaster of twists, turns, action, magic, romance, rebellion, revenge – it’s all there. And just when you think you know what the story is going to be – wham! Twist! More action! Revelations! It’s fantastic. Once you get past the initial setup, Incendiary goes by way too fast. I’m having a hard time focusing on reading right now (due to obvious reasons) so it took me a while initially to get into the first third of the book. But once I did…I couldn’t put it down. I was ready to sacrifice precious sleep just to know what happened next. I’d finish a chapter and then force myself to put my Kindle down so I wouldn’t be up until 2 AM, my eyes glued to the page.

And, of course, once again I’m suckered into another series. And the end of Incendiary – gah. I kept pressing my “next page” button even though it wouldn’t go any further.

Goddamn, Zoraida. For that, you get the comfy chair.

RECOMMENDED FOR: Anyone in the mood for an exciting, fast-paced YA fantasy/adventure set in a world inspired by Inquisition-era Spain.

NOT RECOMMENDED FOR: Non-YA fans, Cardinals Ximénez, Fang and Biggles, 15th century Catholics, anyone not expecting a Spanish Inquisition.

RATING: 4.9 / 5 (.1 subtracted for the agonizing wait I will have to endure for the sequel)

ANTICIPATION LEVEL FOR SEQUEL: Olympus Mons

RELEASE DATE: April 28, 2020 (Hey, I got this review done in time!)

MONTY PYTHON RATING:

 And now, Cardinal - THE RACK!

[stellarscripts]

Cardinal Fang!

As always, message us if you’d like to help with transcribing.