#cardassian costume

[athanza]

Can we talk about this and agree that it's Garak's best outfit?

The colours, the silhouette, the collar, the gold patterned fabric. Just *chefs kiss* 😩🤌🏻

I wish I had more pictures or gifs of it but this was all I could find 😭

[chicago-geniza]

Inspired by a post on the dash: Every Cardassian state television production about romance is exactly like those Turkish melodramas inexplicably set in 19th-century imperial Russia. The propaganda series about the love story of Garak and Bashir would be filmed like Kurt Seyit ve Şura

[sarahwatchesthings]

With all the silly space similes in Star Trek, I would have just once liked to hear someone say, "That was over faster than a Klingon divorce."

[starshiplamaupin]

The old Earth tradition of mildly annoying your companion animals by putting them in a silly costume.

[isthereintruthnobeauty1968]

one of the scientist women in destiny has some on her neck ridges too

perpetually intrigued by the costuming as worldbuilding in ds9. seems like most cardassian women wear blue makeup on their primary forehead ridge as well as lipstick. whats that mean

[misty-feathers]

i think sometimes julian and garak show each other deeply terrible media in their cultural exchange and try to pass them off as classics. just for fun

bc like i was thinking about them watching the greatest movie of our time -- the velocipastor (2017)

and garak is outraged by the stupidly inaccurate depictions of reptilian anatomy and julian's sitting there going "you know, it's a product of its time, you can't fault them for low budget costuming, just look past it to the deeper meaning"

next week garak gives julian the cardassian equivalent of gray's anatomy and tells him it's not about the medical procedures but the symbolism behind them. what symbolism? who knows. not garak bc he is completely making it up

[the-last-dillpickle]

DS9 trivia from IMDB - Part 1

- Colm Meaney was initially reluctant about signing onto the series. Meaney was comfortable playing O'Brien on an episode by episode basis for Star Trek: The Next Generation (1987), and at the time, was unsure if he wanted to play a full time television role.  

- Although we only rarely see it, there is an ATM in Quark's bar. It dispenses the various types of currency used by major races visiting the station: Federation credits, Bajoran litas, Cardassian leks, and Ferengi latinum.  

- Constable Odo was originally envisioned as a young Clint Eastwood type. When Rene Auberjonois was called in for his audition, the casting director told him that none of the previous actors had been "grouchy enough". So Auberjonois improvised his lines using his most gravelly voice, and secured the role. Odo's scoff eventually became such a character trademark that the screenwriters would often script it into his lines (as "harrumph!"), much to Auberjonois' annoyance.  

- Michael Dorn did not want to reprise his role as Worf, since the daily make-up application was exhausting, and he was relieved to be able to move on. Dorn said that the salary he was offered made him reconsider.  

- The Dominion storyline was originally only meant to span two episodes. Ronald D. Moore and Ira Steven Behr lobbied to make the storyline on-going, but met with resistance from Executive Producer Rick Berman, who wanted to maintain an episodic format to the series. After Berman left production to oversee the launch of Star Trek: Voyager (1995), Moore and Behr were given more creative control over this series, making the Dominion War the main plot of the show, and adopting a serialized format.   

- Wolf 359, mentioned as the battle site between the Borg and the Federation where Sisko lost his wife, is a real star that is seven and a half light-years from Earth.  

- In Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Trials and Tribble-ations (1996) when Sisko and Dax see Kirk and Spock, Dax has the hots for Spock. In August 2017, Terry Farrell (Jadzia Dax) got engaged to Adam Nimoy, son of Leonard Nimoy (Spock).  

- The jars of "pills" in Dr. Bashir's office were filled with M&Ms. In many instances during the early episodes, the level of the pills would change between shots because crew members kept stealing them. The problem was solved by epoxying the lids in place.   

- When Colm Meaney was fitted for his Deep Space Nine uniform, he made two requests of the costume designers. He explained that unlike the officers, the non-commissioned Chief O'Brien was a working man. So he needed to be able to roll up his sleeves, and he needed pockets for his tools. The costume department altered his uniform accordingly.  

- The character of Morn (Mark Allen Shepherd), the Lurian bar patron who is always seen sitting at Quark's bar, was written as a nod to the character of Norm Peterson, played by George Wendt on Cheers (1982). Morn is an anagram of Norm. The mask worn by Shepherd originally had no opening for the mouth, so make-up artist Michael Westmore gave him lips over the course of the series, in case the character needed to speak. Several lines for Morn were scripted over the years, but unfortunately for Shepherd, these were always written out at the last moment. So Morn never said one word during the entire run of the show, leading to a running gag where bar patrons, station crew members and civilian residents often mention that Morn is excessively talkative off-screen, and "never shuts up."  

[andyoullhearitagain]

Every Odo Costume Ranked From Worst To Best Part 1

Odo looks terrible 75% of the time and it's not bad costume design, it's true to the character! But it does test me.  Here's everything he wears definitely ranked.

19. Cardassian Uniform:

It is NOT a good look for him.

18. Seasons 1 and 2 Bajoran Security Uniform:

The original Bajorn uniform is SO UGLY you guys. I understand that it's meant to be beige and unattractive to reflect Odo's discomfort with his appearance and his general state as an awkward stiff guy but, oh man. Boy does it achieve that. It's just so unflattering and it makes him look so old and I hate it.

It has so many fit and construction problems, you guys.

17. Makeshift Blanket Poncho:

I literally think he looks better here than in season 1. Also his hair looks better!

16. Klingon Odo:

I almost forgot about Klingon Odo because while I like Klingons in episodes, I don't like Klingon Episodes, you know what I mean? And Odo would be the very bottom of my list of people to go undercover as a Klingon, I don't care if he IS the chief of security. But he does have the face for it, I have to say.

15. 200 Years in the Future Odo:

Ok it's not thaaaaaat bad an outfit but I really cannot with Casual Summer Farmer Odo. It's just not right. It's not what a want for Odo, fashion-wise. Texture of the tunic is pretty.

14. Federation Infirmary Scrubs:

Oh if you get hurt on a FEDERATION ship they give you a non-stupid outfit, huh? It's cute, I'd lounge around the house in it. Is it insane to rank this above Future Odo? Maybe, but I just think it suits him better.

13. Season 3+ Bajoran Security Uniform:

Oh thank god. They fixed most of the fit problems, mainly by adding padding in the chest and shoulder and eliminating some of the shaping in the side front.

And I don't mean padding like they're trying to change his shape, I mean padding as in they've made a suit coat correctly. They also added a high collar. I don't know WHY they repeated the mistake they made in TNG where they started with crew necks (near universally unflattering) but at least they fixed it. It's still a frumpy, insecure look but it feels much more appropriate. Love that Odo always makes his sleeves too long. 

12. Umpire Odo:

This look absolutely gains points because of how much Odo's enjoying it. And that's the most important part of an outfit! He's serving Dadcore.

Do you think the mask is part of him or do you think he wore a real one because It's The Rules? If he got hit in the face with a baseball would it hurt? Important questions.

11. Season 3 Bajoran Security Uniform But With A Belt:

Odo wore this belt for like six episodes and then Kira said she liked it right before she started dating Shakkar, ruining it for Odo forever. May it rest in peace.

10. Mirror Universe Odo:

I really think they could and should have gone harder on Evil Sexy Odo, but unforch he's just wearing the season 3 uniform in black. It is nicer than the brown though so it ranks higher! When you see the costume in full light it's actually got some nice texture.

But Terok Nor is the darkest place in the galaxy, so for most of the episode it looks like this.

Part 2

[grissomesque]

The thing about "Worst Case Scenario" is that Seska rewriting a program to torture and ultimately murder Tuvok for his "betrayal" of the Maquis suggests that she was loyal to the Maquis, and not only because of her feelings for Chakotay. She would've had to booby trap the program before "State of Flux," because she's under intense scrutiny then and there's not really enough time anyway. Which suggests to me that she was fueled by real rage: if Tuvok had reopened the program, and been killed by it, how could she have possibly gotten away with it? She wasn't planning to leave at that point, and (!) she specifically depicts herself as Bajoran, not, in some big gotcha moment, as Cardassian:

When Seska returns in this episode [...] the holographic Seska also slightly differs, in appearance, from how the actual Seska ever looked. "We […] see Seska in an incarnation we had never really seen her in before," Martha Hackett commented. "They changed everything – her hair and costume – because it's her creation in the hologram." (Star Trek Monthly issue 34, p. 40)

(Emphasis mine)

This, coupled with her big speech in "State of Flux," makes me wonder whether she would've ever revealed herself as Cardassian, if she hadn't been caught. She seems still to believe in the superiority of Cardassia ("If this had been a Cardassian ship, we would be home now!"), yet follows up with,

"I did it for you. I did it for this crew. We are alone here, at the mercy of any number of hostile aliens, because of the incomprehensible decision of a Federation captain. A Federation captain who destroyed our only chance to get home. Federation rules. Federation nobility. Federation compassion? Do you understand? [...] We must begin to forge alliances. To survive, we must have powerful friends."

We are alone. We must have powerful friends. I don't know how this has never occurred to me, but textually speaking, with the notable exception of Incomprehensible Federation Captain Janeway, Seska seems deeply invested in the community she is ultimately forced to leave. It's, actually, a kind of reverse Ro Laren situation. What a twist.

[captainjimothy]

many people dislike the upholstery ass cardassian costumes but not me. i love texture. velvet wool silk denim canvas corduroy twill tabby bedford jacquard lay it on me baby as many weaves and patterns as you can fit into a single outfit. im gonna be so visually discombobulating

[trekbait]

THIS is why you keep FAILING to blend in on ANCIENT EARTH!

Getting stuck on Earth of the past is a surprisingly common occurrence for Starfleet crews. Between slingshots, Q, Devidians, orbs, Borg, kemocite explosions, rogue temporal agents and stray tachyons stuck in your ablative armour; we estimate 80% of time travel occurrences land officers specifically on Earth in North America in the 100 years between the 1930s and 2030s (give or take).

This is your guide on how to stay undercover until you escape.

What year is this?

Try not to ask this question. It is not something that comes up in regular conversation so it will look weird. Instead, look for a shop with large folded batches of paper on display. These will be newspapers and will invariably show the date in the corner of the front page. 

If you have 24th-century technology, you might also be able to tell from the level of pollution or radiation in the atmosphere, or from astrometric readings.

Continue to check the news for more information about this era, its society and historical events that you may be influencing.

Where are you from?

Try not to be specific lest they know the place and ask if you know someone there. Keep it to a general “up north”. If you’re quite far north already, substitute with “down south”.

If you stand out a fair bit, suggest that you are from France (unless you are in France, of course, but this is statistically unlikely). But do not suggest your Vulcan officer had a rice-picking incident or that you are a secret agent; such stories may be read as too outlandish. Plan your cover as soon as possible and research your era and location to get your facts straight.

Funny looking pyjamas

People of this era consider Starfleet uniforms to look like pyjamas. Go with that and say you had to leave your flat in the middle of the night due to a fire or an argument with the “missus”. This is also a good opportunity to appeal for advice on where you can find replacement clothes. 

If necessary, do not be afraid of stealing period-appropriate clothes to maintain your cover. It may not be moral, but you will be less disruptive to the timeline by stealing a shirt than walking around in full uniform. 

You should avoid high-security places when committing theft without technological aid; interacting with law enforcement can be deadly in this era. This is especially true for officers who cannot pass as humans of the local dominant ethnic group; these individuals should lay low as much as possible.

Non-human officers

The unexpected nature of time travel may preclude preparation for non-humans to hide their more obvious alien features. Some species (Betazoids, Deltans, Baku) can easily pass as humans and will have no problem blending in. Others may pose a challenge. Here are ideas of how to stay covert;

Vulcans, Romulans: Wear a hat, sweatband or long hair to cover your ears and eyebrows.

Bajorans: A band-aid over the nose and pass it off as an injury.

Trill: Pass off your spots as tattoos or wear a hood to cover the sides of your head.

Former Borg: Pass off your implants as jewellery or a body mod. Draw on some extra tattoos to add to the effect. Alternative communities can provide great cover to non-humans due to their non-conformity with the dominant society.

Orions, Andorians, Bolians: Add makeup and glitter to your face and say you’re going to a festival (Andorians should also wear a hat for the antenna - pick a flashy one to add to the festival aesthetic).

Cardassians, Ferengi, Klingons etc.: This is a lot harder. These species should stay hidden as much as possible unless there is a “comic book convention” in town. In this case, steal a lanyard and offer to pose for a photo to anyone who gets suspicious. They will assume you are in an elaborate costume seeking attention

These later examples will protect officers in casual interactions but will be out of place if entering more formal environments.

Zippers

Clothing items and bags on Earth often used a device called a “zipper” formed of metal teeth. You placed the ends together then pulled a tog up to close the two sides of the fabric. You won’t be familiar with these because they have been banned by the 2274 Oddenbery Accords after zippers were instrumental in the collapse of space-time in the Kandari sector that cost 6 million lives. 

It goes without saying that 20th-century humans should not be made aware of the mortal danger zippers pose to the universe or you may alter the timeline. Holographic versions are safe to use if you wish to practice their function and blend in.

Currency

Old Earth still relied on capitalist economics and the use of currency which had no intrinsic value. This currency often took the form of circles of decorated metal and printed slips of paper; in later decades it was also electronic, traded via plastic rectangles. The plastic rectangles will be unobtainable to you (and if stolen, would allow your movements to be tracked) but you should be aware of their purpose. 

Currency was required to even access the most essential services such as shelter and food so your first priority should be acquiring some of these scraps of paper. 

Theft: Ideally you don’t want to steal from individuals. Poverty was widespread and you could impact someone's life significantly. Instead, if safe to do so you should aim to steal from an institution such as a bank’s currency dispenser (such companies would not be impacted by small-scale theft due to something called “insurance”).

Trade: If you have on you something that holds an intrinsic value that does not contain components from the future, consider taking it to a “Porn Shop”. Tell the shop owner you have something to sell and you can obtain legal tender from them. 

Labour: Those at the bottom of the socio-economic hierarchy obtained currency via performing labour for most of the day. Your best bet is irregular work such as cleaning; this will give a very low return of currency despite intense labour but it is your best way to stay under the radar.

Gambling: Humans of this century gambled a great deal more than they had the resources to. If you have an unfair natural advantage in the games they play then you should find people willing to place a wager. Humans bet on anything, from animal races to elections or their whole economy.

Humans were particularly attached to their money and gave it names like “Abe” or “Benjamin” to create a bond with it. You should come up with your own (human) names for any money you obtain to blend in with capitalist exchanges.

Note that this region was fond of “tipping”. This is when low-wage staff were given extra money by the customer beyond the stated value of the service to compensate for their employer paying their staff less than that needed to survive. This will often be indicated by holding out a hand or a quiet cough.

Colourful metaphors

Profanity is common on old Earth in a way that is seen as inappropriately aggressive today. Nobody pays any attention to you if you don't swear every other word. So you may need to employ some yourself in casual conversation to truly blend in. Many words used then are now automatically censored by our universal translators such as ****, ****, ***** him, go **** yourself up your ******* *******, **** ** ***** **** then ***, and *. 

Transport

North America of this era was obsessed with a highly inefficient and dangerous form of personal transport known as the automobile (or “car”). These will likely end up being your primary form of transport and being a proficient driver of these vehicles is important for blending in. So you best spend an hour on the holodeck familiarising yourself with the control scheme of its interior.

Mass transit also existed, though due to chronic underinvestment in the regions you are statistically most likely to arrive in, you may find it difficult to obtain. The most common of these are “buses” which are large automobiles capable of moving around 50-100 people at a time along major routes. Usage will require currency; be sure to check the fare before boarding as some may require “exact change” to be provided.

And the timeline?

Let’s leave that side of things to the boys at the Department for Temporal Investigations. But what we will say is that this era is particularly savage. You may be tempted to right injustices left, right and centre (there are a lot) but if you, say, save a woman from getting killed by one of those deadly automobiles we mentioned then you could find out that the whole timeline is thrown off course. 

So follow these tips, keep your head down and look for a way home. That is unless you cause the death of a pivotal revolutionary figure and need to take their place to restore the timeline. Naturally.

What tips do you have for passing as a local on ancient Earth? Let us know below and Follow us for more essential tips in your Starfleet career!

[thresholdbb]

I love how 90s Star Trek costuming is mostly pajamas, but aliens are often outfitted in upholstery. Let’s do a series-by-series overview, shall we?

The Next Generation

Almost exclusively pajamas. Beverly is even wearing a robe half the time, and don’t get me started on Troi. Guinan is debatable, but I’m sticking with pajamas. Granted, the late 80s/early 90/ were pretty pajama-centric iirc

Deep Space 9

Starfleet and Bajoran uniforms on the station? Pajamas. Sisko can’t wiggle down the stairs in upholstery

Jake-o? Pajamas

Quark? Upholstery, and every swatch and pattern he could get his silver-tipped fingers on

Same after the uniform switch, but now Jake-o is feeling fancy and therefore sometimes dabbles in upholstery

Quark and fam? Upholstery all day every day (until Nog abandons love and latinum for pajamas)

Cardassians and Bajoran Vedeks/Kais? Looking pretty upholstered (no offense intended towards Garak)

Keiko might have fallen victim to upholstery here too

Voyager

Starfleet uniforms? Pajamas

Kes? Could go pajamas, could go upholstery. Depends on the costume

Neelix? Straight up upholstery.

Actually pretty much all of the Talaxians raid the upholstery section. The Ocampans not so much

Seven of Nine? Skin-tight pajamas

Though I gotta say…

Those sickbay pajamas are looking suspiciously like upholstery

[thegeminisage]

star trek update time. last night we did the maquis parts 1 & 2 because i simply did not want to deal w tng.

the maquis (ds9)

standout moment for me in this entire two-parter was sisko's speech. ESPECIALLY good that in a fit of frustration he delivers it to kira and kira alone, whomst he maybe did shout a little bit at earlier because tensions were so high, and then he has the grace to look embarrassed and say he's glad someone understands. like it was the EXACT same thing she was yelling about earlier and he didn't take her as seriously as he might have, like, not in a delegitimizing way, but in a way that says he hasn't experienced that kind of helpless frustration for himself. and then he got to experience just the tiniest slice of what kira has and he Got It. you know?

ALSO SOOO TRUE THE PROBLEM IS EARTH!!!! it's easy to be a saint when you live in utopia. quark had a similar speech earlier in this series about how humans are friendly and wonderful when they have full bellies and working holosuites and they turn vicious without them. ds9 knows whats up

it's tempting to blame all this on picard but while picard did NOT act with honor the true villain is the nameless faceless politician that decided this would be a good boundary to draw and absolutely no one would have any problems with it. it's weird to me, in the age of constantly calling our government officials to make sure they don't cancel healthcare or tell them to stop bombing people, that no one would try to get to the bottom of this and figure out which person they're supposed to call to tell them it was a dumb idea and demand they change it. like, the border is drawn like this, it's an immutable fact of life and it's not gonna change. it feels so weird

anyway, kira was GREAT in this episode. she has so much to be angry about and so much she wants to give to make sure nobody has to suffer what she did. like she's so passionate about it and it comes from a place of love or at least compassion and it's such a nice detail. that she's so angry all the time because of love. man. she's so great

i recognized one of the maquis guys from tng i think! well, i'm bad with faces but it was at least one of the same costumes. i'm so sorry dude rip

one of the maquis guys has a passing resemblance to barclay. really jumpscared me

should have known hudson was a villain bc he asked inappropriate questions about dax. however, it was funny that sisko laughed off the idea of them sleeping together when they fucked twins or whatever

i liked the jennifer mention :( im sad sisko and cal couldn't make up...he tried until the very end

what i love about the ethical debate is that theyre both right. the maquis are right because the new border IS shit. it IS unfair and they DID get abandoned to the tender mercies of the cardassians, who are sure as shit not gonna let them stay there unbothered (that tng episode painting this as a happy ending...AS IF). like, they have every right to defend themselves since no one else is gonna do it

but sisko is ALSO RIGHT because escalating the conflict into full-blown warfare is gonna get even MORE people killed and make things even MORE miserable for the colonies affected, who have already been through more than enough. the colonists can make life harder for the cardassians, just like the bajorans did, but they can't actually win a war, they can only drive themselves into the ground doing it. at BEST they will make some nameless faceless border-drawer think twice the next time they draw a border

like, that's why i'm so shocked nobody suggested calling the politicians to making them redraw it. it's the only third option?!?!

quark and the vulcan was so funny. shoot your shot, buddy, even though you lost the love of your life two episodes ago. i was a little insulted he managed to out-logic her, but also reluctantly impressed. quark is always entertaining, i just wish he had a LITTLE more depth.

gul dukat...i admit i never gave him a second thought before this episode. now i am reaffirmed in my belief that all cardassians are gay. he exhibits such an energy. i really liked the part where he put the fear of god into the weapons runner even though sisko was ready to sit on him to keep him from touching the torpedo controls. such a fun dynamic for him to be going "murder? :D?" and for sisko to be playing straight man and yanking him down by the scruff of his neck every 5 minutes. fun fun fun. i do think he should have kept his mouth shut when he and kira were in the same room though. like i think he should have just chosen to not speak unless prompted.

i like how twice odo's ability to maintain security at the station was called into question and both times sisko was like oh absolutely not. and even still, the tension was nearly enough to cause in-fighting in what has become a pretty friendly group. it's both surprising and unsurprising how quickly they drew the battle lines, but even the non-federation people, kira and odo, snapped at each other. LITERALLY CALL THE POLITICIANS. EARTH IS THE PROBLEM

my one real nitpick is that i don't think it should be possible to resist a mind meld with "discipline." like, it's more interesting if cardassians have a special immunity, or if this particular vulcan is bad at it. i just don't buy that gul dukat happens to be that cool, it's too convenient. why bring up the mind meld at all in that case

otherwise 10/10 i had a fantastic time

TONIGHT: devil's deal means we have double tng, "firstborn" and "bloodlines." something about alexander and daimon bok from season 1??? looks rank. wish us luck.

[thisbelongsto-nohbodys]

The cover up idea is plain silly in my mind. The attack on LA a 9/11 or Pearl Harbor scale disaster, with tons of personal devices to record information, not to mention enormous casualties, and ruinous amounts of economic damage. After 9/11, there was a situation where they couldn't get into certain accounts because the passwords died with the people who had them, and what's more, the BUILDINGS were gone, so any copies were destroyed. The amount of buildings destroyed would be catastrophic.

Now, that all being said, a much funnier idea is that Mr X TRIED a cover up, but it's like the one in Ghostbusters 2016. "So...you're saying it was a big mass hallucination," a reporter asks the mayor after an enormous ghost attack, with an extremely dubious expression, looking at him like he's lost his mind. The mayor keeps insisting "YES, THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED", and someone in the background shouts support for the Ghostbusters. So it might be like that, a plain old open secret.

Something funny to add? The trio and some of their frog families are walking down the street, broad daylight, no disguise, and people just want to take photos. They think they're cosplayers or from a movie. In the 90s during earthquakes star trek actors were reported to drive home in full costume, so people would just be seeing Cardassians and Ferengi on their ride home.

I am now picturing Marcy and Olivia watching Yunan mugging for cameras, doing all her poses, announcing who she is, taking group photos. Marcy explains to Olivia what is going on, she dismisses it...then is flattered when someone asks to take a picture with HER.

(Yes I may be throwing excuses to see the Newt family together but that's just me XD)

It’s also in that the difference between those disasters and Frogvasion is those were done by humans and not frog aliens. Since Mr X learned from the Boonchuys that not everyone from Amphibia wants to take over earth, just Andrias (and the Core), it would shine a bad light on Amphibians if the new amphibian government tries to have an open peace talks with our earth government but the only thing humans have on mind is the destruction of LA. We don’t even treat humans with the benefit of the doubt.

Now for those who were apart of the Frogvasion know the truth and so it depends on ppl to ppl how they’d react to the amphibians in disguise but with the Trio’s endorsement I could see a few ppl swayed to trusting them.

[isthereintruthnobeauty1968]

establishing that the jem hadar basically don't have free will to the extent that other humanoids do (ESPECIALLY given how much time just the first two seasons spent on fleshing out cardassians as individuals including dissenters) uh. high key sucks but! implication through scene and costume change that odo did that kid's hair is endearing

[comic-sans-chan]

"...and it isn't as if I don't enjoy going to the holosuites with Garak. He knows that I value our time together. I just don't understand it. It isn't as if he cares a wit for historical Earth battles, anyway, and I am sorry for it, but I just don't want to act out scenes from The Neverending Bloody Self-Flaggelation in the Name of the State..."

Miles was listening. He was. He was nodding and maintaining eye contact like a good friend, but it was never easy when Julian got like this.

Fact was, Julian had two needs that it was absolutely critical to keep fulfilled, and those were: getting drunk and acting the ass, and being an absolute arrogant intellectual nit about something or other. He liked to run his mouth and Miles was more than happy to cede the honor of listening to it to Garak.

But, sometimes, Garak would get busy, or Miles would get stuck with Julian on a mission that took just a little too long, or the two of them would have an actual fight and stop speaking for a while. Now was one of the latter times, and it was Garak's damned fault. For a Cardie, he could be a right princess sometimes, and Miles was cursing him because now he was stuck having to listen to all of the excess energy and madness that was usually saved up for lunch.

"He actually said that I preferred your company over his," Julian was saying, and Miles had to hide his snort in his ale. "It doesn't make any sense! I mean, I suppose... I do prefer our own excursions on a regular night, but that's only because holosuites with Garak always tend to get a bit... intense. You know."

That tripped Miles up for a second. "Intense?" Oh. "You mean because he's Cardassian?"

Julian had the nerve to roll his eyes at him. Nit. The man huffed, as if his meaning were obvious, and waved his hand impatiently. "No! You know, man! Garak. With the--the big blue eyes, and the pronounced scales, and the damn..." He made a truly incomprehensible motion with both hands, miming a shape in the air.

What. Miles had to blink and set his glass down. "Julian."

He was looking agitated, nearly jumping out of his skin. "His chest, man! His ass! Surely you've noticed!"

No! God no! "No, I have not noticed!"

"Well, I don't know how you've managed it! With the way he goes out of his way to announce them! The man's a tailor, for God's sake, he knows how he's dressing himself and then he has the nerve--Yes! I will admit it, Miles, we have a much better time in the suites, you and I, and it's because of this." He stabbed his finger down into the table with a force that made their drinks jump. "With Garak, there's this added layer to the whole thing with those blasted costumes and the pretty smiles and the constant arguing and... It's just a little much for a game I play to relax in the evenings! Wouldn't you say?"

Miles was going to kill Garak for doing this to him. In knocking back the last few gulps of his pint, he managed to find the fortitude to say, "Aye, Julian, I'd say."

Julian sighed with the relief of solidarity and fell back in his seat.