#car parkour

[one-shitpost-a-day]

ok i have felt a need to yap about this for years and years so imma do it here. listen hey guys you know that game you play in your head when youre looking out the car window??? where u imagine a dude doing epic parkour running and flipping tricks on the sidewalk to keep up with your car?? apparently lots of people do it and sometimes it's referred to as invisible person/car parkour??? ok so me and my sister both did this when we were wee children but we took it further (we thought we were geniuses and that we invented this whole thing) by adding whole entire different avatars and stuff like that. each avatar had its own special quirk (the paper airplane could turn sideways in order to travel along walls, the monkey could lasso his tail around streetlights, etc.). and ALSO if your avatar touched certain signs they would get EPIC POWERUPS (for example green might've been high jumps for 10 seconds like in subway surfers, yellow was +10 coins or whatever even though neither of us had a good enough memory to keep track of coins, blue was special powerup). also you weren't allowed to touch the plants growing on the highway walls. and there were all sorts of rules regarding what you had and didn't have to jump (always jump driveways and wall columns and fire hydrants). literally why was this the most fun stuff ever anyway if anyone wants to hear the full details of this awesome game that we made up i will try to find the very old paper that i wrote everything down on (i attached it to this crusty ahh aquamarine clipboard so hopefully it won't be too hard to locate)

[mobijeuxatelecharger]

Jeux d’arcade : découvre « Car Parkour » sur le site Mobijeux

Tu es un adepte de jeux d’arcade ? Si tel est le cas, viens essayer « Car Parkour » sur le site Mobijeux. Durant tes parties, tu auras pour mission de tenir fermement le volant d’une voiture super rapide. Ainsi, effectue des manœuvres dangereuses pour atteindre l’endroit indiqué. Dans chaque niveau, vous devrez gérer des polygones super difficiles, en utilisant différentes vitesses pour passer à…

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I was visiting my family in a fancy hotel, and the CEO decided to trap me there as a ghost so he could marry me. I beat a bunch of people up and finally had to solve some parkour puzzles to escape. Then I hitchhiked with a lady in a red car because I didn't have cab fare.

She did not want me in her car. I just threatened to beat her up too. 🤦

[4gifs]

An attempt was made

[redfish-blu]

so glad fall out boy did end up being forever so that srar songs get to be on my nostalgia playlist.

[dizzybevvie]

[Rb for sample size pleaseeee :D]

[hms-tardimpala]

I'm watching Fright Night and the truly frightening thing is how easy it is to break into the houses in that neighborhood.

[cthulhusstepmom]

Gaz finds out a couple of weeks after Price.

It's a complete accident and not even a fault on Soap's part really, unless you count getting the wrong type of bin.

It's some time in the middle of the night, Gaz doesn't know, Gaz can't be bothered to say. What he does know is that there's an intruder in his room ruffling around on the floor. "Ye wee foockin son of a bitch yer gonna wish ye were nae foockin born" ....Fucking Soap?

He doesn't even bother getting up. "Soap what the bloody fuck are you doin in here mate??"

The cursing on his floor goes silent. He's about to ask more when he feels a slight pressure on his calf, ready at this point to accept that Soap just wants cuddles and drag him on to the bed he's nowhere near prepared for the sharp pinch that clamps down on his leg.

"Jesus Mary and Joseph Soap what the hell??" He squeals at the same time Soap declares "I've got ye wee bastard!"

He looks down just in time for Soap to rip his covers and grab a... thing that had been attached to his leg, cradling it in his palms with a stern look.

"You gonna explain what the fuck just happened to me?" Soap, now looking appropriately sheepish holds up his palms like an offering. In them, cradled delicately in calloused hands is a baby turtle the size of a golfball. Little bugger is fucking cute too.

"I ah had them in ma closet...they wernae sposed to get out but the bin locks are shit. Think he could hear the water from your tanks or somethin, slipped right under the door."

Gaz, properly awake now, is taken to Soap's room with the little snapping turtle. He realizes for as good of friends as he is with the man he'd never actually been in his room, now he knows why.

"Mate there's no fucking room in here!"

"Ach ah know, I donnae have a space for turtles but they just hatched a couple days ago."

Gaz laughs. "Soap I meant for you ya fuckin muppet!"

Soap blinks. "Well I can get to the bathroom, and if I get chilly I can just curl on up in there with Wee Man."

Gaz takes it in, he admittedly doesn't know the first thing about reptiles but everything looks pretty fucking mint, fake and real plants all over, big sticks and caves to hide in, not to mention the size of the things. They don't look like much on the outside, sheets of blank plywood that look just the slightest bit slap glued. But the fronts have well installed sliding glass doors and the insides are all painted with hand drawn jungle and desert scenes and sealed expertly with silicone.

"You make this?" Gaz asks, gesturing to the enclosures.

Soap looks up from where he's contorted himself to get into his closet, fiddling with the bin that the baby turtles had escaped from where it sits on a heat pad.

"Oh aye, nothing much to look at but it gets the job done."

"Fuckin mint."

[twistedappletree]

im crying idk why i suddenly remembered this but when i used to work asset protection i was in the office looking around the store parking lots w/cams & some lady hopped out of her car screaming and kicked a snake into the air, then fell on the ground and ran herself over bc she’d taken her car out of park

[miabrown007]

sometimes, three hours into a youtube rabbit-hole, you have a profound realization that you are not at all this channel's target audience

[whyisablog]

Had a dream recently where I was trying to get home from boston through the back roads (roads that obviously avoid the highway cause i hate driving on the highway irl) and driving through cities both kinda looked like driving home from work and walking through a mall/trader joes/omega mart, las vegas you know the one.

Anyway after checking a map, which was actually somewhat legible though was far too short of a distance to be plausible, me and my traveling companions passed through this coastal town that featured a salt water cranberry bog maze as it's main tourist attraction. Since we missed out on the local traveling carnival, we said fuck it, and decided to try it out.

The idea here was to go through the maze on your little paddle boat- imagine an innertube from a roaring rapids theme park ride but swan boat style -through the deep water with not only the bog spiders in mind, but also the cranberry dolphins that not only looked and acted like mini orca whales, but frequented the maze with the sole intent to terrorize patrons. Mostly because these paddle boats had open bottoms like flinstones cars and peoples feet looked like delicious, delectable swedish fish to these guys, but that's beside the point. (This was also, very much, a large part of the point.)

These dolphins immediately were the main concern over the bog spiders, as you can imagine. As soon as we found out about the dolphins, we paddled towards the exit.

The dolphins then capsized our vessel and we were forced to wade to the docks for safety.

My favorite part about this was not the burgandy psuedo orcas, but the little nature walk/dangerous jungle style signs warning us about them and the bog spiders, despite the spiders not even making an appearance, though the signs were kind of small and too far away from where the boats tended to travel to be great warnings... Also the cranberry bog looked more like an overgrown yet nicely organized saltwater marsh but taller and more jungle like.

[jediexile]

honestly for me no action sequence in a movie will ever top the bus ride from the mummy returns (2001)

[witchblade]

i can't even articulate why it's just so lush and it makes me feel like an olympic kayaker going so fast too fast almost

[timsashas]

i am very happy with my life where i really only have to hang around men for a max of 5 hours a day. however when i have car trouble. oof.

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

candace flynn is THE most teenage girl character of all time. she is at level 100 anxiety 24/7. she shows her love for her brothers by trying to get them in trouble constantly. her neck is as long as her forearm. she features on a blues album after having an allergic reaction. she has a shrine to her boyfriend in her room. she can't live without her phone. she has a panic room in the basement. she plays 20 instruments that all start with the letter B. she read all of sherlock holmes in one night. she's seen their platypus running around as a secret agent more than once, assumed she was hallucinating each time, and moved on with her life while telling no one. she likes wrestling video games. she was rutabaga princess. she has a billion people to email memes to but when she's trying to think of friends she can only think of four people and one of them is her mom. most animals hate her except monkeys. she invented grilled cheese flavored ice cream. she pretended to be irish for a week. she's autistically obsessed with her universe's version of barney. she writes marvel fanfiction. she does parkour. there's an entire archive of her voice actress screaming just in case her voice ever gave out while recording. she sees her brothers build time machines and rollercoasters every day but doesn't believe in santa. when she starts scheming the wicked witch of the west theme starts playing in the background. she was elected queen of mars. she won a "mayor for the day" essay competition. there's a random person in town who's been avoiding her to the point she doesn't know he exists. she learned how to parallel park by driving a monster truck. she thinks the plural of moose is "meese." she tracks her mom with a GPS. she doesn't know her little brother's full name. she's scared of heights, spiders, and the number seven. when her boyfriend told her he'd call "soon" she started doing complex math to try and figure out when exactly that would be. her first thought upon seeing her royal doppelganger was to go to the laundromat and fill all the dryers with cheese. she earned 50 not-girl-scout patches in one day through sheer determination. she can run fast enough to catch up to moving cars. she can sense when ground is broken in the backyard and when people are judging her. one time she got her face caught in the sink. her brothers carved her into mount rushmore. every now and again a magical zebra appears, calls her kevin, and then disappears again. she killed 99% of an alien invasion with a t-shirt cannon. in an alternate universe she's leading a regime-destroying resistance at the age of 15. she's being accidentally gaslit every day of her life.

[taraxacum-vulpes]

tartaglia sports au. I'm going to be sick