#captain's egg OCs

[tornrose24]

One thing about watching that live action Pinocchio remake was that it made me go back to my CU Pinocchio AU fic and make doodles. While–at the same time–realize that I would have done a FAR better job at the remake than whoever came up with that poorly made script or changes.

Also, if you read the fic, then you might recognize a couple of moments that I drew out (especially because I adored writing those bits out when I first wrote the fic).

Oh, and I thought it would be funny if @artistcaptainbendy and @infini-tree‘s ocs would react to the puppet show because one set would seem to find it interesting and the other... maybe not so much. (Aeric and Ava are artistcaptainbendy’s ocs and Sception and Selainius are infini-tree’s ocs.)

[quanblovk]

Thinking about making young Meta Knight an assistant engineer to Vul in ancient Halcandra.....hmmm.......

Meanwhile Mimi and Eggs are both doing WHATEVER lol

[sunsetcorvid]

buncha sketches + a ship for yall to consider

[localtopegg]

Thinking about a couple things.

1) Here’s Meggy! Aka my CPI Ace 2) I’ve been playing around with the Amulet’s Curse from Rockhopper’s questline and what if it did more. Also been playing around with the idea that we never see CPI Ace get cured in canon!  3) I got addicted to the song Ship in a Bottle because of this.

[artistcaptainbendy]

This is just a regular weekend for Ava 

[heehoo-snek]

Just dumping pictures of fluff ball cuz I’m mad at myself for not posting him anymore @cosmicprotoplanetary @killmewithfandoms

[rottengardenias]

captain big gay babey

[jackie-gremlin-ghost]

After all this time, I finally made an Egg Casserole fanbaby

Meet Jonathan “Johnny” Krupp. (Named after Benny’s father)

Throughout most of his early years, he was a timid little boy. And he absolutely adores his Mom, Dad (Krupp), and “Pop” (CU).

Not long after he turned 10, Johnny discovered that he took after his father in the superpowers department.

Edith had figured this day would come.

“It was never a matter of ‘if’, Benny. Only ‘when’.”

Krupp had taken it about as well as you’d expect; by having a minor panic attack and hyperventilating into 3 paper bags (he was breathing so hard, he popped the first two).

Captain was naturally over the moon with excitement, and was quick to start teaching Johnny how to control his new abilities, with a little help from Johnny’s two favorite babysitters in the whole world, George and Harold.

In his teens, he’s more laid-back and incredibly chill about everything. It takes a lot for him to show that he did in fact inherit his father’s infamous temper. He seems to be your usual cool and mysterious type, but that’s just a front.

His true, more energetic self comes out when he starts doing superhero work himself, as Lieutenant Long-Johns.

Unlike his dad and Cap, Johnny and his superhero identity are one personality, so he’s a bit more focused and strategic when fighting bad guys, but he isn’t afraid to still have fun while doing it!

[creatingchimera]

Guess who caved and finally made an egg casserole kid!

He's has his mother's habit of staring at people until they notice him. But other than that, he's friendly, pretty goofy, and, of course, quick to anger.

[friedbaekhyunandeggso]

Reason ~ ch. 35

pairing: female oc (devon alba) x levi ackerman

tropes: instructor x cadet, strangers to lovers, male mc falls first

warnings: angst/slow-burn, strong language, upcoming smut(18+ readers only for those chapters pls 🙈)

brief summary: This story takes place a few years after the Fall of Shiganshina. Devon Alba is in her final year of the 101st Training Corps (844-847), due to her success as a cadet she gets the chance to meet Captain Levi. She doesn’t think too much of him until he catches her in the midst of doing something that she isn’t entirely supposed to be doing. But surprisingly, this leads to something unexpected...

ch. 1 [...] ch. 34 | chapter 35 | ch. 36

She was at the stove, watching the eggs fry until she felt a hand on her hip. She automatically froze.

“Mornin’” Levi’s gruff voice was at her ear.

She immediately flushed—her cheekbone grazing his as she turned around to look at him. The circles around his eyes were noticeably lighter than before. His hair was also a bit rumpled from sleep.

“Did I wake you?”

When she’d left her room he looked as if he were deep asleep on the couch. But she knew he was a light sleeper.

He shook his head, “Been up for an hour.”

What he didn’t say was that he was waiting for her. He’d meant to prepare breakfast for them but once he sat back down on the couch he zoned out. The next thing he knew he’d dozed off into a light sleep.

She nodded at his statement. She thought she had heard the faint sound of someone entering the bathroom an hour ago.

He sidled up close to her, standing close enough that her back was pressed into the counter-their groins millimeters apart. His hand still on her hip.

The second she met his gaze his lips found hers.

She melted under his mouth—a low whimper leaving her lips as he kissed her, hard. He kissed her like he’d gone too long without her.

In fact, he almost always kissed her like that.

Her hands went to this chest. His chest was so firm it was impossible not to notice-it wasn't like the thin material of the long sleeve he wore did much to conceal it either.

His lips moved eagerly over hers, his hand on her hip and the other on the counter beside her were the only thing stopping him from pressing his groin into her. He wanted to say it was morning wood but he knew that wasn’t it, his body always reacted to her.

It didn’t matter if he’d taken care of himself already or not.

Her hand went to his neck, pulling herself away. Her face red and dazed.

Her lips moved reluctantly, “L-Levi, the eggs-“

He quickly reached over and shut off the stove. She moved to prepare the eggs but his hand on her hip pulled her back.

His dark gray eyes unwavering, “Come home for lunch.” he reminded her.

She flushed. They were always thinking of the next time they’d see each other.

Her hand on his neck twitched, “I can’t-“ she realized with a subtle frown.

“I have a short shift at the store and then I have to get to school right after.”

Now that culinary school was in the picture her work shift timings varied. Typically, long shifts she always got breaks but not so much with shorter shifts.

“When do you get back.”

“I think 6? Maybe 7.”

He wasn’t sure when he’d be done so he couldn’t guarantee that he’d be home by that time either.

“Come straight home after.” he muttered.

She chuckled lightly, her hand on his chest sliding down to his forearm.

“Don’t worry—I ran all my errands with you yesterday, remember?”

He merely grunted in response.

Suddenly a short gasp left her lips. His eyes immediately latched onto her.

“Shoot, I actually have to get—“

When his eyes immediately sharpened she couldn’t help but break out in laughter. It was just too easy to set him off.

His scowl deepened, “Tch, don’t mess with me.”

She continued to laugh lightly and he squeezed her hip, inadvertently making her glance up his way.

Her subtle smile and lively eyes sent a tumbling sensation of warmth throughout his body. His gray eyes scanned her face expressionlessly.

Her smile never failed to make him question how he got her. 

He leaned forward, pressing his lips to hers once more. That smile was his to claim. his to cherish. his to undo.

The morning air felt crisp against her tongue. Maybe it was because the sun had just risen, leaving the sky to be a beautiful blend of orange and pink.

She’d normally be getting up at this hour but the bookstore was receiving an early shipment today, so Larsa wanted her to come in earlier. They still had a couple hours before the store had to open.

She tensed when she felt a hand gently touch her back.

She glanced over her shoulder to see Levi at her side. He wore a brown cloak over his white dress-shirt, a hint of his cravat peeking underneath the cloak’s hood.

His silver eyes searched her face, “What is it.”

She hadn’t realized she’d stopped in the middle of the street.

She blinked, glancing around at the empty street. She supposed she’d subconsciously wanted to take a moment to appreciate the silence that the early morning hours offered. It was rare to see the roads deserted like this.

Her workplace wasn’t much farther either.

She glanced back at him, “Nothing. The sky looked nice, that’s all.”

She watched him glance up. The brightly colored sky almost seemed to bring about a faint glow to his face. The gentle breeze made strands of his dark hair sway underneath his hood.

She belatedly realized that Levi was always up at this hour. He was usually out of the apartment by this time, presumably at Scout headquarters.

She was suddenly filled with this inane sense of jealousy. It didn’t take her long to realize that she was envious he got to see the sunrise everyday—maybe if she’d been a Scout she could’ve got to see the sunrise everyday as well. 

With him..

Her eyes widened as an image flooded her mind.

She stood on the rooftop of what she imagined the Scout headquarters to look like. Her hair was tied back in a low bun at the nape of her neck, similar to the way she’d kept it at the training corps-except it was much neater. She wore a Scout uniform.

Levi stood beside her, also dressed in uniform. His hand in hers. That beautiful sunlit glow to his face as he stared at the sunrise before them.

He turned his head—catching her staring. A flicker of a smile tugged at the end of his lip.

“It is nice.” he muttered.

His deep voice drew her from her thoughts. She quickly faced away from him, feeling a bit disheveled.

She felt his hand at her back shift slightly before she was suddenly pulled against his chest. Her eyes were wide as she looked up at him.

His expression was as stoic as ever.

She flushed, “L-Levi..” her tone held a note of admonishment as she instinctively glanced around, despite there being no people around to watch them.

Her arm shifted slightly under his hold only for his grip to tighten. He dragged her by the elbow into the nearest alleyway.

Before she had the chance to protest she was shoved against the brick wall, his lips insistent on hers.

She gasped, providing him the perfect opportunity to slip his tongue through her lips. His hand slipped underneath her cloak—sliding down her side before squeezing the curve of her waist.

She jolted responsively underneath him, her lower lip quivering under his—but his hand against the wall kept them steady.

His lips were relentless, kissing her as if there was nothing he wanted more-as if he couldn’t get enough.

Her body blazed underneath him, her skin warm to his touch. Her hands went to his shoulders, her fingers trembling slightly from his forcefulness. Her heart beat rapidly in her chest, like a dove flying helplessly in its golden cage.

Her hands went to the sides of his neck, pushing him back slightly.

Their kiss broke and she quickly turned her head aside—so he wouldn’t be able to press his lips to hers again.

His cool breaths scattered down her cheek, past her collarbones, as his nose nudged her temple. His lips skimmed her cheekbone.

She squeezed her eyes shut, her heart and mind completely scrambled. She never stood a chance against him, not when his touch did that to her.

She clamped her hand around her mouth, trying to quell the sound of her restless breathing.

Suddenly his grip on her waist tightened. She yelped underneath her hand, instinctively facing forward.

His gray eyes shimmered in the darkness of the alleyway. He shifted closer to her, pressing his forehead to hers.

She noticed he always kept some distance between them whenever they kissed, even if it was just a slim amount-a millimeter or so-he never fully pressed himself against her during their lip lock.

His eyes latched onto her hand covering her mouth. His nose grazed hers as he ordered, gruffly-

“Move that hand.”

She flushed-hard-only to clamp her fingers tighter around her mouth.

She shook her head, too breathless to speak.

“Why.” his deep voice rumbled.

She knew she shouldn’t. Her mind was already too scrambled by his touch-his kisses-as is. More lip-lock would only make it worse. She couldn’t go to work in this state.

“I have to go to w-work.” she managed to rasp out.

His brows furrowed. A subtle frown appearing on his lips as he remembered. It was obvious that it had completely slipped his mind.

For some reason, she couldn’t help but find his expression adorable. A smile lit her lips, although hidden under her hand.

A soft, shy laugh left her lips, “I never thought you would be like this.” she murmured, feeling almost too shy to say the words aloud.

Pale pink instantly spread along his cheekbones. He kept up his natural monotone as he responded, “Is it that bad that I wanna kiss my woman.”

It was her turn to flush, “N-no..”

“Then.”

She looked down, too embarrassed to maintain eye contact.

Her words came out muffled under her hand, “Uh-um.. I just.. I get shocked you like me that much.”

Something flashed across his eyes before his countenance smoothed over. His hand on her waist twitched before he stepped back from her.

He looked away, his dark hair covering his eyes. His hands clenched into fists at his sides.

“Am I..” his flat tone held an odd undercurrent, “too much?”

Her eyes widened as she sputtered out, “N-no. It’s not that..”

His eyes flashed to hers, the relief ever-present in his gaze before his brows furrowed.

“Explain.” he ordered.

She opened her mouth and then closed it. She felt too embarrassed to say it-but she knew he wasn’t going to let it go.

His eyes narrowed.

She swallowed, fighting to keep her voice even, “I don’t know—I’m just surprised you w-want me, that’s all.”

She looked away from him. It wasn’t that she thought herself unworthy of his affection or anything but she supposed after him being so apathetic towards her for so long his passion still shocked her.

She always used to struggle with the idea of whether he wanted her around or not. She used to internally question if she was a burden to him all the time until he finally clarified she wasn’t.

But maybe… there was a bit of insecurity. He was the Scout Regiment’s strongest soldier. While she was just a bookstore worker and culinary student. She lived at his place and didn't pay for a thing-not that he would let her. To anyone else it could easily look as if she were a gold digger.

It didn’t help that she was so much younger than him and her body was already so scarred and damaged from her past. He’d also been through so much himself and yet he’d truly made something of himself. Whether he acknowledged it or not, he was making a difference in the world.

She couldn’t help but wonder… if she truly was the one for him.

“Tch,” the edge to his voice was audible, “Don’t piss me off.”

When she didn’t meet his eyes, he realized she was truly serious. Not that he ever doubted her words but-goddammit—

Suddenly he was grabbing her collar, forcing her to look up at him.

“Do you have the slightest fuckin’ clue what you do to me?” he hissed, the scowl on his lips so harsh she nearly flinched.

His silver eyes raked down her face, “Being alone with you.. is hard for me.”

“Right now—At home—“ he spoke through gritted teeth, “Doesn’t matter where the hell I am..”

His grip on her collar tightened, forcing her forehead to press against his, “You remind me I’m a man every single day.”

His low, severe tone was filled with such bitterness she couldn’t help but shiver. His narrow, gray-blue eyes were dark with something she couldn’t put to words.

She swallowed before murmuring, “Levi..”

Her hands went around his forearm, holding the arm that was gripping her collar. His eyes widened when he realized he was pulling her shirt hard enough that her collar was biting into her skin.

He immediately stepped back, releasing her.

She couldn’t look at him–her mind was left spinning after his words. She couldn’t help but feel aware of the fact that she was alone with him now–despite having always been. Her hand went to her nape, attempting to readjust her collar.

She froze when she heard him grumble quietly, “Question whatever the hell you want, but don’t question how much I want you.”

She glanced over at him. He was looking elsewhere, his posture stiff. She didn’t miss the faint flush on his cheeks.

His eyes flitted towards her, “Okay?”

She nodded, slowly.

A moment of silence ensued–leaving an air of uncertainty between them.

She suddenly stepped up to him. Her steps were purposeful yet hesitant. Her expression was unreadable to him.

He tensed when she stood before him. He wanted to touch her–but he also wanted to see what she would do.

She searched his face before gently slipping her hand under his cloak. When her fingers brushed over his belt loops his eyes widened. 

Before he could react, she deftly slid her hand into his pocket and retrieved his pocket watch. A soft blush decorated her cheeks as she flipped the watch open to check the time.

“I’m late to work.” she muttered before pressing the pocket watch to his chest and releasing it.

He instinctively caught it.

She quickly turned around and moved to head out of the alleyway but he was faster. He caught her wrist and pulled her back to him.

His jaw was clenched as he peered at her, “You thought you could get away with that.”

She fought to hide her little smile, “What? I’m just trying to go to work.”

His grip on her wrist tightened, “You did that on purpose.”

His low tone made her body warm up.

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.” she mumbled, her nerves buzzing within her body.

His hand on her wrist tugged her closer, their noses brushing against each other.

“Then why are you smiling.”

Her smile immediately widened, she hadn’t realized it had broken loose.

Her eyes sparkled as she murmured, “What. I can’t smile at my man?”

For once, he was speechless. The deep flush that bloomed on his cheeks was unmistakable. To think he could look so flustered because of a simple sentence.. She beamed victoriously.

Her stomach brewed with butterflies as she leaned over to press a gentle kiss to his cheek. His eyes widened.

She kept a hand on his chest as she rose on her tiptoes slightly–to speak softly into his ear, “See you at home.”

She backed away–not waiting for a response as she quickly bolted out of the alleyway. She didn’t want to run any later than she already was.

He watched her disappear onto the street before running a hand over his face.

Since when did I let this woman get such a hold on me?

[sixpennydame]

North Star✶Chapter 3

A Levi Ackerman x oc slow burn

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Read in AO3

Levi finds a job, but it might be more than he can handle.

Warnings: just the tiniest bit of smut.

A/N: Subtitle for chapter: Sailor had a horse phase when she was a girl and now she's living her fantasies in her fanfic. ;-)

The next morning, you get out of bed just before the sun rises. You love the early morning light in late summer and having an hour or two to yourself before everyone else gets up for breakfast. You wash your face, put on a day dress, and tie up your hair. You reach for the simple gold wedding band on your vanity and put it on your left ring finger; wearing the band helps you to still feel connected to Martin. Sometimes, you’ll have dreams about him still being with you and upon waking, you’ll reach for him on the right side of the bed. You miss his smile, his laugh, the way he’d touch you. God, you miss his touch:

Martin used to slide his arm around you just as you were waking up in the morning. He’d start caressing your breast gently at first, and as your breathing would get heavier, he’d start to pinch your nipple. Then, he’d move down and slip his hand in your underwear, touching your clit with his finger. As you started getting wet, he’d slide a finger inside, moving back and forth. He’d start kissing your neck and you would bring your arm around to touch his hair. You’d begin to grind against his growing hard-on, and when neither of you could take it anymore, he’d pull his underwear down and slide his cock in from behind as he continued to massage your clit…

“No”, you shake your head, “I’ve got things to do.” Attempting to push the thoughts away, you go to the chicken coop and collect some eggs, then to the garden to cut some fresh chives and thyme. Even though it’s cooler in the mornings, you don’t want to heat up the kitchen today, so you make a cold breakfast of tomatoes, cheese, and ham with bread. You have some fresh strawberries so you decide to put those out too. You’re just about to put the kettle on the stove when Levi enters the kitchen. He’s wearing a simple white henley shirt and dark pants and his hair is neatly combed. Once he sees you he nods, “Good morning.”

“Good morning, Levi. You’re an early riser too?”

“Just an old habit, I guess,” he sits at the table, “and I’d like to start looking for a job today.”

“The biggest employer right now is the silver mine, but you said you didn’t want to work underground, right?”

“I’d like to avoid that, yes. I…have some past injuries that will probably keep me from doing labor like that.” There’s a sorrow in his voice. “But I’m a hard worker, at whatever I do.”

You look again at the deep scars that run across his face, and the two fingers missing from his right hand. “I hope you don’t mind my asking, but your scars….are you a veteran?”

Levi knew this would come up eventually. He wants to put it all behind him, but it seems his scarred body gives away everything. And how many questions will you ask? What if you figure out he’s from Paradis? He shifts in his chair, “I was…a soldier..yes.”

“My husband was also a soldier for Marley - an airship captain. He died at the Battle of Heaven and Earth.” You should probably just leave the conversation there, but something makes you want to tell Levi more. “I was there that day, at Fort Salta. I tried to get him to escape into the mountains with me, but he said he had a duty to uphold. I watched as his ship fell from the sky. If I had just…”, your words trail off.

Levi remembers your cries of loss when you found out your husband was dead. He’s known that helpless feeling so many times. “I’m sorry for your loss,” he says awkwardly, not knowing what else he should say.

You realize that tears are running down your cheeks. “Oh god, I’m sorry. I’ve shared too much.” You start wiping away tears when Levi pulls a handkerchief out of his pocket and hands it to you.

When you take the handkerchief you look into his eyes and can see the pain beyond his scars. You wonder what all he’s been through and what friends or loved ones he’s lost. The tea kettle starts to whistle and it breaks the silence. “Thank you, Levi,” you say, wiping your eyes. “I hope I haven’t made you too uncomfortable,” you say as you pour the hot water into the tea kettle. “Now let me think about some job openings..” you take a moment to ponder, “You’re not against manual labor?”

“I’m not. My knee gives me trouble if I’m standing for too long, but I’d rather be active than work at a desk.”

Although Levi’s short in stature, you notice that he does have a slim, muscular build. This is actually the first time you’re really taking a good look at him. Is he older than you? It’s hard to tell with his youthful appearance, but you think you see just a few grey strands in his dark black hair. His thin eyebrows seemed pursed into a constant scowl, but he doesn’t seem ill-natured, just serious. Despite his scars, he really is quite handsome. You also notice he’s not wearing a wedding band. Who is this mysterious man, and why is he here? What’s he running away from?

“Do you have anything in mind?” Levis asks, jolting you back to the issue at hand. This new stranger has certainly piqued your interest. 

“Hmmm..the only thing I can think of is maybe the stables across the meadow. It’s been run forever by Mathieu Singer, but he’s getting older and his sons never returned from the war. He still breeds quite a few horses and trains them before sending them all over Marley. It’s where I sent you to stable your horse and where I keep my horse as well. I should go there anyway and check on her, so I can introduce you to him.”

“I appreciate that,” he shifts in his chair, “but I can go myself.”

“It’s no problem. I have to go over there anyway. Give me a minute and we can walk over together.”

Levi takes a few last bites of his bread and cheese, then drinks his tea. “Alright. I think I’ll walk outside for a bit.”

“Yes, feel free to explore the property. I’ll meet you out there soon.”

Levi takes his tea mug and walks out the back door. The sun is just coming over the mountains and it’s casting a beautiful golden glow over the valley. He notices your herb and vegetable garden and is impressed by everything you’re growing: corn, peppers, tomatoes, beans, and other things he’s not quite familiar with but assumes are native to this part of the world. Not far from the garden is a chicken coop with several chickens eating the breakfast that you had already put out for them. As he continues walking, he notices a small shed with three goats ambling around the fenced area. They stare at Levi and bleat at him as he walks by. Flowers are interspersed between the gardens and animal areas, and it seems that the bees and other pollinators are already busy at work, flying from flower to flower. Levi recalls many beautiful places within the walls of Paradis, but nothing quite like this place. Or maybe he’d just never had the time to appreciate these kinds of simple things before. 

He continues walking and comes upon the banks of a very large lake; so large, in fact, that it was difficult to see the opposite shore. The water is ridiculously blue; bluer than he had ever seen. He picked up a stone and threw it into the water with a small thud. 

“I see you’ve found Mirror Lake,” you say as you walk towards Levi. “Silly name, if you ask me. Sure, it reflects the mountains beautifully but it's the blue color of the water that gets me every time.” You crouch down, looking for a smooth stone. “Something about the algae in the water makes the water this beautiful color.”

“I don’t particularly like lakes,” Levi says, throwing another stone in the water, “you can never see what’s swimming past your legs, and I hate the feel of algae.” 

You laugh. “Don’t worry, there’s nothing dangerous in these waters. Just some trout and other fish. But still…it’s rather nice to have something like this practically in my backyard.” You find a smooth stone, stand up, and skip it across the water. “Oh! Three skips!”

Levi looks at you like you’ve just done the most interesting thing. “Don’t tell me you’ve never skipped stones before.” You grab another stone from the ground. “See, all you need to do is throw like this from an angle-“

Before you can finish your lesson, Levi has already found a stone and tossed it across the water, skipping it four times. “I think I get the gist,” he says, nonchalantly.

You raise an eyebrow at him, “Apparently,” you laugh, then skip another stone; it only skips two times. “Shoot. I guess you beat me this time. But I warn you, I’m quite competitive with stone skipping.” You could have sworn you saw just the smallest smile creep across his lips. It makes you feel accomplished somehow. “Shall we walk over to Mathieu’s?”

——- ✶ ——-

The Singer Stables are just a quick walk across the meadow from the house, and as you and Levi get closer to the main barn, you see horses grazing across the several acres. Mathieu is already hard at work cleaning out the stables and refreshing the hay. 

“Catherine! What brings you over so early?” 

“I wanted to see how Astrid was doing and to introduce you to my new tenant,” you gesture toward Levi. “Matthieu, this is Levi Ackerman. He’ll be staying in Mursa for a while.”

Levi shakes his hand. “Mr. Singer, it’s nice to meet you. Thank you for taking in my horse on such short notice yesterday.”

“Oh please, call me Mathieu. We’re informal around here. And it was no problem - it’s a fine mare you got there. I just put her out to pasture to let her run around a bit. Should I get her for you?”

You speak up. “Actually, Mathieu, I was wondering if maybe you had any-“

Levi interjects. “Catherine, I can take it from here,” he turns away from you. “I’m looking for a job. Do you have any need for some extra help?”

Mathieu looks Levi up and down. “You a veteran?”

“…I am..”

“My sons were soldiers too. Infantry. They were stationed to fight against Allied Forces at Fort Slava and have been missing in action ever since. I reckon they’re never coming back..” Mathieu looks away. “I suppose an old man like me could use a hand around here, but I’d like to see how well you do with the horses first. Consider it a trial run for the next few days, then I’ll make a decision.”

“Fair enough,” Levi replies.

“Well then, let me show you around.”

You follow Levi and Mathieu to the stables, feeling a bit dejected at the way Levi treated you. You did bring him here, after all.

Mathieu sees you walking toward the pens. “You gonna take Astrid out for a ride this morning? She could use the exercise.”

“Yes, I think I will.”

 You walk over to Astrid and she whinnies for you. Astrid loves to be groomed, so you start brushing her golden coat and mane. She has a white starburst shape on his forehead, which you alway pet when you’re finished. After Astrid is properly brushed, you walk over to grab her saddle and bridle but see that Levi is already holding it for you.

“I’m told this is yours. Mathieu said I should get her ready for you,” he says nonchalantly.

“No, I can take it from here, thanks,” you say coldly as you grab the saddle from Levi. He watches as you put the blanket on Astrid’s back, then walks away to meet Mathieu. 

“Not even a ‘thank you’,” you complain, as you heave the heavy saddle on top of the blanket. Once it’s strapped on tightly, you ride out of the barn and see Mathieu putting Levi to work already, cleaning out the horse stalls. The breeze feels refreshing against your skin as you ride Astrid out into the meadow, first at a trot, then faster as you get further from the barn. 

You ride out past your house and around to the other side of Mirror Lake. Small white flowers dot the countryside, like a halo around the water. You decide to take your shoes off and walk on the grass; it always has a way of soothing you. Talking and thinking about Martin this morning put you in a melancholy mood, and you’re embarrassed that you cried in front of Levi. Most people would say that you’re an amicable and cheerful person; however, you often feel sad, lonely, and empty. Why did you let your mask slip for those few moments? Now Levi probably thinks you’re some overly-emotional woman.

You laugh to yourself: there you go, overthinking things again. Levi probably hasn’t given you a second thought. And who cares what he thinks? 

Astrid breaks you out of your thoughts by pushing you with her muzzle, almost as if she could sense your feelings. You turn to smile at her and pet her forehead. “If only people could be as simple to understand as horses.” 

When you arrive back at Mathieu's, you notice that a few older men have gathered around the training pen. You lead Astrid over to meet them and see that they’re talking to Levi while they watch a dark, wild-looking horse. 

“I’m telling you, Levi, it’s a lost cause. I named this one Demon for a reason. He won’t let anyone near him,” Mathieu says.

Another man chimes in. “He was taken away from his mother too soon and abused by his previous owner. He doesn’t trust any human that I’ve seen. I don’t know why you’ve even kept him this long.”

“He’s too beautiful to get rid of. If I could just tame him, he’d make an excellent race horse.”

Demon was a beautiful stallion. He had a black coat as dark as the blackest night, which looked dark blue when the light hit it just right, a long mane that flowed down his neck, and dark, wild eyes. His muscles tensed as he galloped around the training pen - a formidable threat to anyone who dared approach him.

Levi looks at Demon, determination growing in his eyes. “If I can tame this horse in three days, will you give me a job?”

All the men laugh, Mathieu the loudest of all. “If you can do that, not only will I give you a job, but I’ll give you the damn horse.”

Levi climbs over the fence and looks at Demon on the other side of the pen. He slowly starts walking toward the horse, eyes locked on him and arms at his side in surrender. Demon flattens his ears and stomps the ground, as if warning Levi to stay away, but he continues to move forward. He’s saying something to the horse; it’s too low and quiet for you to hear, but you see Demon’s ear perk. Levi gets just close enough to touch his mane, which he begins to pet gently. The group is holding their breath.

Suddenly, Demon rears up and knocks Levi down hard on the ground. The men laugh.

“Levi, I thought you had him there for a minute,” Mathieu jokes, slapping his friend on the back, “didn’t you?”

Levi stands up and dusts himself off. “I’ve got three days. It’s not over yet,” and he walks out of the pen.

You notice that his limp is worse than usual, so when he walks by, you place a hand on his shoulder. “Are you ok? You’re limping pretty badly.”

He shrugs your hand off. “I’m fine,” he answers in a short, annoyed tone as he walks to the barn.

——- ✶ ——-

That evening, Levi silently eats as everyone else talks about their day. You came back home after the first time he was knocked over by Demon, but you’re guessing by his attitude that he wasn’t successful that afternoon either.

When dinner is finished, Levi goes to his room without saying a word.

“I don’t know if I like that new guy,” Max remarks as he sits down in the parlor. “He’s rude, don’t you think? I mean, he won’t even pretend to have a conversation with us.”

“He’s new around here. Give him some time to adjust,” you defend, but you have your own misgivings. Initially, you found his silence mysterious and intriguing, but now you wonder if he’s just being rude. You’re not really sure how to read this man.

——- ✶ ——-

The next morning, Levi is up even earlier than you are. You see him coming back from a morning jog as you finish up feeding the chickens and since it seems like he’s busy with an exercise routine, you decide to not greet him. You’re just putting some scones in the oven when he comes in. Sweat is running down his neck and chest, and he lifts up his shirt to wipe off his face. You can’t help but notice his toned chest but quickly turn away. He moves next to you and takes a glass to pour some water. 

“Good morning, Catherine,” he says, then takes a drink of water.

“‘Morning,” you reply, taking some cream out of the icebox. You resolve to be cordial. “Nice time of day to exercise. Is this part of your routine or” - 

You turn around and notice he’s already left the kitchen. 

That evening is the same routine: dinner in silence and then straight to his room without a word. 

——- ✶ ——-

On the third day, you decide to go to Mathieu’s, mainly to check on Astrid, but you also want to see if Levi has tamed Demon. You’d guessed from his behavior of late that he hasn’t, but you also wonder if Levi is just perpetually grumpy. You’re not the only one who is curious: word has spread about the mysterious stranger who is attempting to tame this devil incarnate, and when you arrive at the stables, a crowd has gathered. Even Max and Luka are there, which surprises you.

“I bet Luka fifty crowns he won’t tame it,” Max says, leaning on the training pen fence.

“I didn’t even know you guys were interested in this.” 

“I was raised around horses, like most of us have here and I’ve known Mathieu for a long time. He said he’s never seen Levi’s style of horse taming. He’s barely even tried to get on Demon these last few days. He just…stays in the pen with him. Looks like the most he’s been able to do is get a bridle on.”

You had enough familiarity with horses to know that most trainers in this part of the world tamed a horse essentially by ‘breaking’ them - bending the horse to their will. What Levi is doing - well, you’d never seen it before.

Levi stands in the middle of the training pen, rope in hand. Demon runs around the circumference of the pen and when he stops, Levi walks slowly over. You can tell that Demon is more comfortable with Levi’s presence, so much so that Levi is able to put a rope around the horse’s hindquarters. He holds this rope in his right hand and takes the bridle already on Demon in his left. Demon objects at first by shaking his head side to side, but Levi has control and he uses the bridle and rope to guide Demon around the pen. 

After Demon runs around the pen a few times with guidance, Levi drops the rope and grabs a saddle blanket hanging on the fence.

“Here it comes…he’s gonna try and saddle him,” Luka comments.

Levi again approaches Demon, who snorts and then paws the dirt. He lifts the blanket up, and although Demon twitches, he doesn’t run away when Levi gently puts it on his back. Someone has moved the saddle closer to their location, so Levi grabs the saddle from the fence and with the slowest of movement, places it on top of the blanket. It’s a simple training saddle with only one strap, so Levi carefully latches it around Demon’s belly. 

The crowd is silent, almost as if they are holding their breath in expectation. Levi grabs the horn of the saddle and puts his foot in the stirrup. Demon protests and moves just a bit as Levi balances himself on one stirrup and lifts his body off the ground. A few seconds pass, and then Levi hoists his other leg over, his hands on the reins. Again Demon whinnies in protest, but doesn’t run or buck. Levi uses the reins to guide Demon into a trot, his concentration totally on Demon and his body movements.

The crowd is in stunned silence, knowing that any loud noises might spook the horse and endanger Levi. He rides Demon around the pen a few times then brings him to a halt to get off. As he exits the pen, he receives cheers and pats on the back and he walks over to Mathieu.

“So I’ve got the job?”

“I’ll say! I’ve never seen anyone tame a horse like that. How’d you do it?” Mathieu asks quizzically.

“I gained his trust by respecting his power, not by breaking it. Once he knew that, he let me ride him. It’s all about mutual trust and communication.”

“Well, I’m a man of my word, Levi. The job and the horse are yours,” he puts out his hand, which Levi shakes. 

“I’ll take the job for now. The horse…we can talk about later. I still have a lot of work to do with him.”

The crowd begins to disperse but you hear them remark about Levi’s skill. You’re also impressed. When Levi was working with Demon he was patient and attentive. Of course any animal (or human for that matter) would want to be treated that way. 

——- ✶ ——-

All anyone can talk about at dinner is Levi’s triumph over Demon. Luka updates everyone on what happened at the stables, as Levi quietly eats. 

“And to top it all off - Max owes me fifty crowns,” Luka goads.

Max squints. “I don’t think we ever shook on that..”

Patrick leans back in his chair. “That’s impressive, Levi. You obviously have extensive experience working with horses.” 

“Where I’m from, it’s important to bond with the horse in order to use them in battle. But Demon was a particularly challenging horse. It took me longer than I expected to gain his trust.”

“Horses can sense if people are trustworthy or not, so you must be a pretty good guy,” Max says jovially. “I guess I had you pegged wrong,” he smirks.

——- ✶ ——-

As Luka and Albert do dishes, you go outside to get some night air. You hear someone walk up and sit beside you. 

Both of you sit in silence for a few moments.

“I think I owe you an apology.”

You turn to look at Levi, his profile illuminated by the setting sun. 

“You helped me get this job and I haven’t even thanked you. That, and when you asked me how I was, I pushed you away,” he sighs, then looks at you. “It’s not easy for me to accept help from others and I let my pride get the best of me. I can…also be a bit of an asshole sometimes.”

You feign being shocked. “You? An asshole? Whatever do you mean?” You say in a sarcastic tone. 

He grins and lets out a silent chuckle.

That’s the second smile you’ve gotten out of him.

“I think I might be better at communicating with horses than I am with people.”

“Then I guess we found the perfect job for you,” you smile at him. 

Maybe Levi isn’t such a bad guy after all.

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Series Masterlist

Tags: @youre-ackermine, @mrsackermannx, @mrsackxrman, @ricecrispiebirb, @hailsatantheteenagegirl

[tornrose24]

Halloween is coming up so I revisited one of the CU aus I’ve done and made more doodles for that Phantom of the Opera au. (With a special guest appearance by @artistcaptainbendy’s Aeric and Ava.)

Oh and I was bummed when I heard that Phantom is closing on Broadway next year. I was able to see it a few years back in a different city… but it’s still sad to think about given how much of an influence Phantom has been to me.

(Edith’s costume is based on the costume for the Cinderella opera (the Italian one by… was it Rossini? I’ll need to double check. EDIT: yes it was and an image of the original costume is on the Wikipedia page.) since that’s the role she has in the lower left side of the first batch of doodles).

[chen-chen-chen-again-chen]

Hi, hello, hola, and happy Stab Caesar Day! Tumblr ate my original draft because, um, I guess its hunger is horrible and insatiable? But here I am for take two. Thank you to @artsyunderstudy, @larkral, and @forabeatofadrum, who tagged me today and who continue to craft delightful things.

Updates on My Good Egg (Good morning, good night, good morning): My plan of posting Chapter 4 today ain't gonna happen. I updated the author's notes, but the next posting date is TBD. I need to focus on my health right now, and then I'll be travelling for a bit (March 24-April 7). But hey, if you've been meaning to read this one, now's a great time to catch up? 🤣

In the meanwhile, I'll share a snippet featuring several of my OCs, Baz's queer, chaotic uni friends. Behind the cut for mild spice. 🌶️

Bunce goes off with Simon so that she can pump the American bartender for information, and as soon as they’re out of earshot, Emma leans forward, her eyes glittering. “Well?”

“Well what.”

“I told Liu and Ramesh you got kidnapped,” Emma says, waving her hand dismissively, “and of course we’re all very worried and hope you’re doing okay and acclimating to regular life again, but have. You. Ridden. That.” 

Baz regrets downing a few rats before they left for the pub, because it means he has enough blood in him to blush. “We’ve been figuring out this kidnapping situation,” he says coolly. “It hasn’t left much time for carnal pursuits.” 

“Baz,” Liu says, aghast. “Why haven’t you fucked that nice himbo? He’s clearly gagging for it - he couldn’t stop staring at your arse in those jeans.” 

“Is he a himbo?” Ramesh says. He pulls out a pen and starts to doodle a triple Venn diagram on a napkin. “He seemed like more of a twunk to me. And he’s got a great bear belly.” 

“Ladies,” Emma says, her hands fluttering in mock-distress, “please don’t objectify that sweet boy before Baz gets to objectify him. Baz will eat his fill of the man-meat and then give us a report.” 

(Please put in the comments/tags if you think Simon Snow is a twunk, a himbo, or something else delightful. 🤣)

Hello tags and tagbacks: @whogaveyoupermission, @cutestkilla, @facewithoutheart, @captain-aralias, @fatalfangirl, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @whogaveyoupermission (THE EDGING CONTINUES), @raenestee, @ileadacharmedlife, @shrekgogurt, @hushed-chorus, @shemakesmeforget, @theimpossibledemon, @imagineacoolusername

More about the hiatus for My Good Egg:

(Warning for some hard stuff, Big Feelings, trauma recovery. Feel free to skip and just bask in Ides of March posts instead!)

Okay, so introspective life/writing blather here... I keep meaning to write a post, at some point, about some of the best practices that I follow when I am writing about material that is heavy, like in Baker boxer teacher grief or the Rosethorn girl universe.

A lot of stuff that works for me is probably self-evident: go slow, be gentle, ground yourself, talk to safe people, have a release valve, be able to walk away, offer yourself a lot of self-care and self-compassion, take care of the soft animal of your body. And don't feel like you have to put everything in - some of what you can write can just be for you, and it can be enough to have written it, and not include it in the finished product.

I honestly didn't expect Good morning, good night, good morning to get me where I live. It is, as I've always maintained, a dumb horny rom com (that somehow developed a plot and backstory and plot TWISTS and OCs but ANYWAY). But there was a line in Chapter 3 that kept rattling around in me:

“You were a kid,” Simon says, his voice low and angry. “You were just a kid.” 

This is not the first time I've been triggered by own fic (and probably won't be the last, LOL!), but this one did me a doozy. I've had to take a few steps back, and just focus on recovering from trauma that's been reactivated in my body. It is wild what the body remembers, and how it holds onto pain.

(There is, at the same time, other stuff happening with my family with grief and estrangement and just a whole mischegoss of hard feelings, so that adds another element into the mix.)

To circle back round to My Good Egg: I'm putting it to the side for now while I tend to my health and just recovering from the past few weeks. It's funny - I don't think it's a particularly angsty story or one that does a super deep dive into trauma, but I need to take some pieces off my plate right now, and this fic is one of them.

I will always keep writing - the WIP game has been a delightful brain refresher, and I have a very fun Six Sentence Sunday post that I'm already excited to share. But for now, My Good Egg is gonna have a li'l nap. When I come back to it, I think I'll switch over to writing the second draft in its entirety, and then posting the chapters weekly, whenever that happens. I'm not putting a timeline on it right now.

Anyway, thanks for coming to my TED talk making your way through this personal essay, if you've gotten this far. I am continually blown away and delighted by everyone who engages with the fic, and I am so excited to serve you up some treats in the future.

To end on a lighter note, here is an exchange with my spouse, the inestimable EarlobeGreyTea who continues to offer thoughtful and nuanced feedback on this fic, Exhibit A:

EarlobeGreyTea: Did they fuck in this chapter?

Me: No Me: And they didn't fuck in the previous chapter Me: It's the EROTIC Grope Fest. It doesn't have to have explicit sex (yet) EarlobeGreyTea: Yeah, I guess it isn't the Sloppy Fuck Fest

Love you all. ❤️❤️❤️

[angrywarrior69]

Star Trek Rant: Strange New Worlds and disability

Hi, I'm the easiest person to please when it comes to sci-fi, and I'm even easier to please when it comes to star trek. I will not be trying to sound scholarly or even smart in this post.

That being said I have some issues with strange new worlds and how it keeps having story lines chalk up to the idea that having a disability is worse than death.

Like I get that the original series captain Pike ends up in the chair and that was so scary/cool in the 60s that people went feral over it, but it's 2022 now and I simply cannot comprehend how no one on the writing/producing staff said "Maybe we should tweak this?"

I bring receipts so my examples are as follows: MAJOR SNW SEASON 1 SPOILERS HERE

1. Captain Pike equating his getting badly injured to a fate worse than death.

2. Hemmer, the blind chief engineer, being killed in the dumbest way possible.

3. M'benga's daughter's fatal illness escapist fantasy miracle cure/fridging/character death.

4. Spock's alternate timeline fate that was being equated to Captain Pike's original timeline fate.

1. Captain Pike being a sadboy about his fate in the chair is understandable at the start. If I had seen that shit for myself I would have said what the fuck and done some happier psychedelics to mitigate it. Unfortunately, he is straight edge like most starfleet captains in their pilot episodes so whatever. He's sad. He's scared. He's not being objective. It's plot and that's okay by my standards. The show has to have plot based on something, so sure. Make him sad about the time crystal vision that people who didn't watch Discovery have no idea what's going on. Whatever, I'm easy to please, so I didn't question it much.

2. Hemmer, I could make a whole post about Hemmer, but here goes: Hemmer is introduced as the blind chief engineer, but with super cool brain powers to make up for it. It’s not like Geordi on TNG. Geordi gets to be disabled with a technological aid that makes him able to see more visible spectrum than humans can. Geordi’s VISOR does not “make up” for him being blind. Without it he is very much still blind. Geordi gets to be smart and good at what he does. His coworkers and friends love him for who he is. ALL THE WHILE, he’s literally just some guy. Geordi legitimately is just some guy at the end of the day. Whereas Hemmer is introduced by Spock to Uhura like,

“This is Hemmer Ebony Dark'ness Aenar Ravenway and he has long blue antennae and precognitive abilities and a massive fucking brain that makes him the coolest girl in school.”

And then... they just make it so he can’t sense the Gorn? I get the Gorn are supposed to be next-level shit right now. Unstoppable. Intrepid. Yada fucking yada mean scary lizards a la Alien style (a whole other rant about the gorn there). But they take Hemmer, arguably the most interesting person on the ship, (probably because everyone else is so boringly human) the coolest OC they’ve made... and turn him into an exploding egg sack that commits suicide to save everyone else? They turn him into an EGG SACK because he can’t SEE the acid SPIT or the SCARY LiZaRds. His disability is turned against him for the first time and it kills him. And just like DC comics The Flash universe is always built on the bones of Nora Allen, the SNW crew decided to throw Uhura’s universe on the bones of dead Hemmer. This is completely fucking unnecessary considering Uhura starts off this ride with a TOS legacy to carry her.

They didn’t have to build Uhura’s story on the bones of this dead man, they didn’t have to build Uhura’s story on the bones of ANYONE. It was quite literally. so. dumb. This decision invalidates Hemmer’s capabilities and invalidates Uhura’s I-don’t-know-if-i-want-to-be-in-stafleet storyline. She just decides to stay because a blue dude told her to open her heart before he died?

What the hap is fuckening.

3. Oh boy oh boy M’benga’s daughter. The fatally ill child... who looks perfectly healthy! We are told she is sick so we must believe it. I digress. Rukiya, CMO M’Benga’s daughter, is dying. She’s so sick that she can’t even be out of the transporter buffer for more than a few hours or so by the time the 7th-8th episode rolls around. There is no cure for her illness. M’benga tries and tries to do something to help her but in the end all he does is put her on ice. This child is nothing more than a plot device. They literally put her on ice in the transporter buffer and bring her out for plot purposes and have no shame about it. At this point it’s like they’re saying sick people shouldn’t exist with healthy people. No one else is sick or disabled other than Rukiya and Hemmer. I feel like I’m losing my fucking mind. And then as @sneasingsneasel put it so nicely. The issue with this kid is not that she is sick, or cured, or becomes a god-like being; it’s that the miracle dream escapist fantasy becomes reality just to give M’Benga something to cry and then be happy over? Why was this even done at all? This plot didn’t do ANYTHING for anyone. We all just had to watch a kid who looks perfectly fine be put on ice and then fridged (i.e. the practice of killing off or hurting a minor character in order to motivate or torture a main character) Again, what the fuck is happening? WHY was this a thing?

4. Spock and Pike’s fate being switched and Pike’s actions immediately after seeing it. This is what got me GOING y’all. This is what set off the rant and this is why I’ve wasted so much time trying to form some thoughts here. We’ve come full circle back to point one.

To summarize, Pike goes forward in time and Spock gets fuckidy fucked up by some shit and we’re told that burns cover 40% of his body, his spine is wrecked, and he has head trauma. Nurse Chapel says “if he comes out of this he will never be the same.” and... that’s it. That’s enough for Pike to chose his original fate for himself over attempting to change his own fate and having it land on someone else. AGAIN captain Pike is seeing the future of someone who very well may LIVE and deciding that it is So Bad that he must bear the burden of it alone.

They went too far with this mindset. It’s GROSS. SNW is easily my least favorite trek because of this bullshit. Actually, I don’t even think I like the show after the season finale. How and Why did all of this get produced? Am I losing my fucking mind here? Disabled people shouldn’t be the bane of society. Fuck these writing choices.

[nifolution]

Letters 3

Warnings: Heartbreak, Angst, Manipulation, lies, threats, arguments, mentions of conception, allusion of smut

A/N: This is a revised copy of my oc fic. It is still written in 3rd person. Steve was rescued from the Valkyrie crash. He became a world hero and came back home with Peggy to start his life. No stealing, no reposts, no translations, no feeding to AIs. Comments, reblogs and likes are always welcome and appreciated.

Chapter 2 Series Masterlist     Main Masterlist

Chapter 3

Steve didn’t dare return to Y/N’s apartment, but he continued seeing her at the Sunrise. Her anger didn’t last, although he had to suffer through cold eggs a few times. Regardless of his food’s temperature, he left large tips. If she wouldn’t take it, he’d slip the money into her apron when she wasn’t looking. Sometimes she would try to sneakily return the cash, which only resulted in him leaving her an even bigger amount. 

Learning she was working late again, Steve decided to show up as the cafe was closing so he could make sure she got home okay. He watched her and another waitress tidy up the dining area. When the other woman left, Y/N stayed behind. Curious, he slipped in, careful not to ruin the wet floor. Steve walked into the back, and spotted her at the sink, washing dishes. 

Y/N looked over her shoulder when she heard footsteps, rolling her eyes when she saw him. “You're not supposed to be back here.” 

He offered a half smile at her attitude, “Where's the dishwasher?” 

“Jerry went home early for his wife’s birthday. I'm filling in.”

Thinking better of it, he withheld a lecture about working late by herself and not locking the front door. Instead, he removed his jacket, rolled up his sleeves and began to help wash the large pile of dishes. She didn’t argue, meaning she was dog-tired. Steve was glad he could be here for her, keep her safe and get her home quicker. He smirked as she scratched her nose, leaving a streak of tiny bubbles on her face. Some things never change.

Y/N froze as Steve reached over to wipe the foamy trail off her, his feather light touch causing goosebumps down her body, like so many times in the past. She closed her eyes and pinched her lips together, pushing the feeling away. Blinking, she passed him the next glass, “If only the newspapers could see their Captain America now, washing dishes like us common folk."

“I used to help you all the time.”

“Yeah, but that was the old Steve. The new you probably gets waited on hand and foot.”

“Eh, not exactly,” Steve disagreed. “Peggy has an important job that keeps her away from home a lot. So most of the cooking and cleaning is left to me.” There was too much truth there, so many hours he spent alone trying to find something to do with himself. He did his best to keep the house in tip top shape, ready for company at a moment's notice, the way Peggy liked it. “Don't let that bit of classified information get around. I have an image to uphold,” he half joked. Steve watched Y/N from the corner of his eye, gauging her reaction. Her eyebrows furrowed, he couldn’t tell what was going on inside her head. 

“You never used to care what others thought, only what was right.” She turned to him, concerned. Had he really changed that much. 

He shrugged, “Things are different; I have duties, people need me. The pressure to be Captain America is there the moment I step out my front door. There's interviews, military events, upcoming recruiting tours,” his jaw hardened. “It's not enough that a war just ended, they want to prepare for the next one… autograph signings… laundromat openings.” Steve unsuccessfully tried to laugh it off. “Hell you witnessed it, I can’t even order coffee without someone shaking my hand or wanting me to sign something.”

Y/N didn't see the humor in it. “When do you get to just be Steve?”

How was he supposed to answer that? “That’s a good question.” Steve tried to find the right response. He exhaled, sounding defeated and bitter, “Not often enough… Who’s Steve anyway? There's only room for Captain America, I have to play the part.” His fists clenched under the soapy water. “After everything I'm back to being a dancing monkey. Only in a better uniform.”

A mischievous smile grew on her face, “I kinda liked the tights.” She laughed when he countered by flicking water at her. The rest of the job was completed in comfortable silence. 

The air outside was considerably colder when they left the cafe. Due to the late hour, Steve offered her a ride. It wasn’t safe for her to travel alone. Y/N refused, it was only a few blocks and not the first time she had to walk at this time of night. It quickly became apparent that he was not taking no for an answer, so she compromised, he would walk her home. 

He saw Y/N shove her shivering hands deep in her pockets, trying to keep the chill off them. She had forgotten her gloves. Steve took her hands, but she pulled away. “You don’t have to be so difficult all the time.” He once more covered her cold hands with his, brought them up to his lips and blew to warm them.

Y/N had thought there was no love left in her. Not for him nor anyone else. And yet the more he came around, the more she doubted. Feeling his familiar hot breath ghosting over her skin, she met his eyes and choked back a sob. She was fooling herself, she still loved him terribly.  

As he escorted her, a group of men passed by. Steve put his arm around her protectively. He'd always been the strongest man she ever knew. His new muscles did not make a lick of difference in his behavior. Y/N allowed it for only a minute before shaking him off. It hurt too much to have him hold her so close. 

Steve sighed at the rejection. “Do you remember when we met?” He smiled when she nodded. “I was about twelve years old and saw you being hassled by some boys. Honestly you were holding your own before I showed up, but I had to help. Couldn't walk away. They beat me up and stole my shoes before backing off.” He never regretted intervening, it was the right thing to do. 

“And then you, ever the gentleman, walked me home. I felt so bad you were roughed up. I couldn't afford to buy you new shoes, so I made you new socks, seeing as how yours were ruined from taking me home. I should have made you two.” 

“Hey, those socks kept me warm for a long time.” They became his favorite piece of clothing. He was completely taken with the girl with messy hair and fire in her eyes. The one who looked at him differently. His mom encouraged him for years to ask her out, but he kept finding excuses not to. He wished she was around to see him get the girl he pined after for so long. He wished she was there to help him through his first real heartbreak at Y/N’s hands. 

She moved in closer, soaking up the heat emanating from him. “You were my hero, you deserved more.”

“I was no hero back then. Just a dumb kid, stunted and pathetic. No one saw me.” 

“I did… So did Bucky and your mom.” It baffled her that he thought that way. Did he not feel loved by them? He was such a wonderful person, he had to know how cherished he was. 

Steve scoffed, “Well they’re gone now. And you and I…” He looked away, “Well that didn't work out, did it.” Shit, he was getting hot under the collar. Breathing deeply he continued forward, trying to calm down.

No other words were spoken until they reached her apartment building. A question Y/N had wanted to ask him since his reappearance, “What happened over there, with Bucky? His sister refused to believe he was really gone because there wasn’t a body. His family buried an empty coffin.” She stopped before ‘and you weren't there’ left her mouth.

His face hardened, "He fell…” Steve’s voice became monotone, “I was ordered not to attempt recovery. It would have been a waste of manpower for a single soldier." Peggy convinced him it was a pointless waste of time and resources. That crying over the loss was an insult to his friend's memory. He doesn’t say that watching Bucky fall away from him, terrified and screaming, was the worst moment of his life. He won’t tell her how much he wished it was him instead.

Y/N couldn’t believe her ears. “That's not like you at all. It's not just a soldier, it's Bucky. He deserved to come home, have a proper burial. At least to give his family some closure. How could they just decide he wasnt worth finding?” 

Steve stepped away from her, squaring his shoulders. She meant how could he decide that. “You wouldn't understand, you weren't there. It's my fault he's dead, is that what you want to hear? I put him there, I put him in danger and I couldn't protect him.” His anger morphed into sorrow as he spoke. His voice sounded tiny and broken, “I couldn't reach him. I couldn’t… All this strength and I couldn't hold onto him. You don't think I wanted to go back…. I didn’t want to leave him there.” 

Her eyes were glassy as she reached out for him, trying to provide comfort. “Steve, I'm sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I wasn't accusing you of anything, I swear. I know how much Bucky meant to you. I know you would have brought him home if you could. I’m sorry, I'm so sorry.” She rubbed his arm, waiting for a sign it was alright to hug him. Y/N regretted bringing it up, she had no idea that’s what happened and seeing Steve this distressed was like a stab to her own heart. “If you want to come upstairs and talk, I promise I'll listen? 

He sniffed and took another step away. “Don't make me any promises. We both know you wont keep them.”

Y/N’s empathy vanished in a flash. “I wont keep them? You’re one to talk. What about your promises to me? Our life after the war. You lied, you didn’t come back to me, you came back with her.” She sneered at him, shaking her head in disgust. “What a dream you're living now. Married to the love of your life, America's couple, your faces gracing every newspaper. The absolute best woman by your side so you don't have to be embarrassed by me. As you said, Captain America deserves the best and that's never going to be me.”

“Don't put words in my mouth.”

“I'm not, that was exactly what you wrote in your letter. Go back to your perfect wife and your perfect home and your perfect stinkin’ life and leave me alone! Stop torturing me by acting like you still care. I can't be around you without feeling like my heart is being crushed inside my chest. I don't need to be rescued. I don't need Captain America. JUST LEAVE!”

Steve had his own venom to spit, “If this is how you acted with Frederick, I can understand why he broke it off with you.”

She threw her hands up, “What are you even saying? I don't know anyone by that name. There's never been anyone but you. You must be thinking of one of your other girlfriends. Who knows how many you had while away.”

“Please, you know I'm not like that. There was only you until Peggy.”

Y/N nodded, eyebrows raised, “Yeah… Peggy. Always Peggy. Goodnight, Captain.” She turned and entered the building, not sparing him a second glance.

Steve could tell something was wrong. Their stories were not matching. He wanted to follow her and sort it out, but decided against it. Too hurt and angry to have the conversation they desperately needed. They couldn’t hear each other through their grief. Both mourning the loss of Bucky and the loss of each other. Of the could have beens and the should have beens. Of the life they were meant to have together. The life he now shared with someone else.

Chapter 4

A/N: Originally there were 2 letters in every chapter of this fic. However, I decided to ditch the romantic letters in the middle and keep only the letters in the first and last chapters. I think their once sweet and caring relationship is easy enough to imagine without having to read their love letters.

[m45t3rc0mput3r]

Sketch dump because I feel like I haven't been posting as much art as I'd like to (characters/medias below cut)

1. Null - Baldi's Basics in Education and Learning

2. Mr. Egg and Captain - Among Us Logic

3. Henry Stein and the Ink Demon - Bendy and the Ink Machine

4. Nathaniel Schaeffer and Celia - Poppy Playtime OCs, AU for Nate

5. Semi-demon Alex - Alex Basics in Biology and Zoology

6. Veteran and Player - Gametoons

7. Wilson - Gametoons

8. Wilson - Gametoons

9. Veteran (in the outfit of the Veteran doll from SGL) - Gametoons

10. Null - Baldi's Basics in Education and Learning