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captain-l-log · 2 months ago

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Hi. I very much doubt that anybody will be seeing this, but if you are, then I am making this for you.

This blog is just a collection of thoughts, feelings, and entries similar to that of a diary or journal. I am going to call this a Captain's log, simply because I think it sounds cool. Who knows, maybe Captain L will be real someday.

That brings me to my next point, I will be referring to myself at L simply for anonymity. I wouldn't mind if someone I knew found this, I just don't want everyone to know my personal bizz. That being said, feel free to completely skip over all of this. I don't mind, this is not made for you. I do not expect likes or reblogs on my posts. I do not expect you to be seeing this. Below the cut is going to be a quick introduction to who I am, and then a little brief on how my day went. The logs will be formatted like that often.

Well, thanks for checking it out anyways. Good luck on your travels, sailor.

(note- grammar wont always be the best. ill try to make it sound professional, but it probably wont.)

First entry, 13/11/24

My name is Captain L, or just L for short. Most of the people I talk about I will shorten their names down to one letter or simple codewords.

I was not a very happy child. Its half the reason I'm making this blog today, to try and find something that works. I have always had trouble coping, a big part of me rushing to the 'just hide it' mentality. And it stayed like that for a while. But now, because I dont exactly want to bring up issues to my friends, I can bring it up with strangers on the internet. You dont mind surely.

Today, I had an average day. It went as usual, with the added uncomfortability due to a poor quality binder I got from someone in a bathroom last year. The transgender kind, not the school kind.

Wearing it always makes me feel a bit better, and then I start to feel it a little too much. Thats when my day goes from 'okay' to 'worse'. It makes me more aggrivated, more upset. I dont know why, probably something with overstimulation. But I feel silly saying that, so who knows.

As of right now, I am sitting quite comfortably in bed, writing this and drinking tea. I might go listen to a podcast afterwards.

I'm going to end the day like any other. Possibly brush teeth, wash face, take melatonin, and then crash.

This felt nice to do, I should do this more.

Cap'n out. Goodnight.

#captain l #intro post #first post #digital diary #of sorts i suppose #long post

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lolitastories · 8 days ago

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Yoni

Bucky Barnes

Scenario: Y/N is helping Sarah decorate a party but gets interrupted by two little fellas. What started out as teasing will end her up with more than she prepared for, but she wasn't complaining.

“So, you are the girlfriend?” I look over the picnic table to see two boys moving to sit down.

“She can’t be his girlfriend!” The other boy laughed as he turned over to me. “Are you?” I opened my mouth to answer before Sarah smacked both boys in the back of their head. Both boys letting out and ow.

“Mind your business.” She gave me an am sorry look before turning her attention back to the boys. “How about you do something more useful and help her with these balloons? The boys nod. Sarah sets a box full of decoration on the table before leaving. I couldn’t help but let out a chuckle to their stern faces as they looked down.

“Yes.” I simply respond which makes their heads pop up. “We have been dating for a while.” I smile remembering how long we have been together, 8 months.

“Why hadn’t he introduced you yet?”

“Wait, does our uncle Sam know about you?”

“He would’ve let it slip by now” He turns to his brother as the other nods in agreement.

“He surely would have made a joke or two to make uncle Bucky feel uncomfortable” The older brother chuckles.

“He didn’t mention uncle Buck-” The older one shoves the younger one slightly.

“Shut it Cass!” His eyes motion over to me and the younger one nods and they go back to blowing up the balloons. If I can’t let these two young boys tell me what they are hiding I should no longer be allowed to be an agent.

“Well,” I began talking, getting them to look back at me. “I am glad to finally meet Sam’s nephews. Bucky always talks about you two” It was true. He likes to spend his time bothering Sam but I know he likes to come around the boat because Sam is family and so were the boys.

“¿Really?” The young boy Cass, smiles widely. “He probably tells you he prefers me over AJ.” He proudly says.

“There is no way! I am older and he tells me thing young kids like you wouldn’t understand” Cass looks over offended and crosses his arms.

“Well you want to know something he didn’t tell you about the girl he met at the restaurant?” AJ goes to cover his mouth but Cass is quicker and moves away. “He told me he didn’t ask her on a date but when he told her about you she ran away!” I bite my lips from bursting into laughter.

“She did not!” AJ throws himself at the younger brother, but Cass slides back. “She probably didn’t want to be with him because he told her you still need mommy to sing you to sleep!” He teased that Cass didn’t take another second to jump at him but thankfully he was lifted off before he could reach AJ.

“Is that how a man should behave in front of a lady?” I look over admiring Bucky. Cass was just casually hanging while Bucky had his metal arm wrapped around his chest. AJ stood up,

“No” He looks down. I hear Bucky let out a sigh and place Cass on the floor. The boys like on demand turn towards me and apologise. “Can we still help you?” I smile nodding.

“Because you two are so cute I will allow it.” The boys smile and take back their seats. I looked up towards Bucky who had a wide smile.

“You’re much prettier than Leah either way” We all look over at the words that suddenly came out of Cass’s mouth.

“You don’t even know what she looks like!” AJ says.

“Yeah but I know what she looks like!” He points over to me. “Uncle Bucky can’t do better than her” The boys laugh agreeing with each other.

“Enough!” The boys froze hearing Sarah's voice, I felt my cheek redden a little too. “Go find Sam” They boys scurry to run off. “See if he can do something with you two” She shakes her head whispering the last bit. “Sorry about those two.” She places her hand on one hip leaning on one side.

“Don’t worry about it.” I looked over towards Bucky who was scratching the back of his neck, looking at anything other than at me. “You know I would actually like to talk to them more. Seems like Leah, made a great impression on them.” I moved my eyes away from Bucky when he looked up with widened eyes.

“Oh honey,” She laughed, coming over to place her arm around my shoulder. “Since you’ve walked through the doors they couldn’t take their eyes off of you” I join her in the laugh. “I have my hands full with those two.” She lets out a sigh as she fixes her posture. “I have to check on the food but I will be back to help you out with the decoration-”

“I got it,” Bucky interrupted as he moved forward to grab some balloons out of the pile. Sarah nods and makes her way back into the kitchen. She leaves so the only thing we could hear right now was how the waves hit the side of the boat. The seagulls flying over or singing their song. The distant chatter of the boys probably bothering Sam. The sound of some metal that was being worked on the boat.

“So,” I keep on looking at Bucky. “Leah?” He sets the half blown up balloon and finally meets my eye.

“The small restaurant I met Yori in.” I nod understanding what he was talking about. He told me the old man set him up on a date but Bucky ended up leaving. Yet he forgot to mention her name. I let the balloon I had in my hand fly out making the annoying noise.

“Didn’t you take me to that restaurant on our second date?” I tried to remember but it's been so long ago. Bucky shakes his head.

“I took you on a restaurant date for our first date”

“ahh.” I nod.

“Before you told me you hated restaurant dates,” I looked up smiling at his embarrassed/sad tone. I get up walking around the picnic table to his side. I wrap my arms around his shoulder from behind and lay my head on his shoulder. His eyes were focused on a far ahead item as I twisted my head to look at him.

“I know your 1940’s heart beats for that kind of date,” I place a kiss on his cheek, gaining his attention. “If you want to take me on those dates I would do it for you” I smile trying to seem convincing.

“You can’t trick me like you can do to everybody” I furrowed my brows trying to act like I didn’t know what he was talking about. ��I am not taking you to that restaurant” I stomped my leg and pushed myself away from him. I go to walk away but he grabs my wrist and pulls me onto his lap. He circled his arms around me making it hard to leave. “But I can woo you just like in the 1940s” His metal hand moved up to grip my jaw.

“Did you woo her just like in the 1940s?” I raise my brow not making it easy for him to change the subject.

“You are not going to let this go are you?” I shake my head.

“Did you bring her flowers like you did for me?” His lips fall into a flat line. His hand dropped to my lap. “You did, didn’t you?” I scoff, shaking my head. I wasn’t mad, honestly it was endearing he was such a gentleman. “Now I really have to meet her and more because you told me not so long ago that I was the first girl you were interested in after becoming Bucky again.” As I spoke the words it was like I was becoming rabid on my own words.

“I was telling the truth!” He holds on tighter as I try to get away from his hold. “I tried to speak to you but you were never interested,” He softly let out. I am an agent of shield and it wouldn’t be good to become involved with an avenger. Now that he was steering away or no longer much involved, he was able to separate personal with business, that is what made me say yes to a date. “When you left for almost a year's mission, I was missing you” My eyes scanned over his face. “I was yearning for something that wasn’t mine,” I had instantly moved to grip his face. “Sam and my therapist told me to get out there and that was when Yoni set me up with Leah.” I will have a talk with Sam later, traitor. “I wasn’t lying when I told you, you were the first girl that made my 1940s heart beat again” How can I be made at that?.

“Was I really that standoffish?” Bucky lets out a chuckle.

“Doll,” He looks me in my eyes. “You were colder than winter” I laughed at his sudden joke. “Is a good thing with other man but when I tried to get to you, you would immediately shut me down”

“It just took me some time to warm up to you but see, now we are here” I move forward yearning for his lips on mine.

“You two and your puns should be blowing on balloons not blowing into each other” we pull away hearing Sam walking up to the table. I was going to make a snarky comment until I heard the boys running around Sam to sit on the picnic table. I smiled teasingly and I went for an innocent joke.

“You don’t want any more nephews?” I could sense Bucky tense up. “Maybe a niece this time?” I pat Bucky on the shoulder before getting up from his lap. I walk past Sam but he takes hold of my arm and leans down to whisper in my ear.

“Seems like you froze the soldier” I look over and smile. I turn back to Sam and with a mischievous nod and smile we turn over to Bucky at the same time. “I would love a niece actually, what do you think buddy?” He speaks to Bucky but he doesn’t flinch.

“I don’t mind which comes out as long as it has his eyes.”

“Oh yes, those beautiful blues” Sam and I continue to joke around until Bucky pushes himself up. He looks dead at my eyes and struts towards me until he drags me away alongside him.

“¡Hey!” Sam screams from behind us. “You are supposed to help with the party, where are you two going?!” I look over to Bucky wanting to say something, but he leaves me speechless once again.

“I am going to make you that niece!”

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