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wisteria-lodge · 1 year ago

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SORTING DISNEY VILLAINS (1937-1989)

For *spooky season.* I suspect this will be easier than sorting the heroes, who tend to be reactive while villains are very clear about what they want and what exactly they’re going to do to get it. Let’s see if this ends up being the case.

I go into a lot more detail about this character analysis system here, and talk about the move away from the HP terminology here. But here are the basics:

PRIMARY (ie MOTIVE)

BADGER ~ Loyal to the group.

SNAKE ~ Loyal to yourself and your Important People.

LION ~ Subconscious Idealist. Ideals are linked to feelings and instincts.

BIRD ~ Conscious Idealist. Ideals are linked to built systems and external facts.

SECONDARY (ie METHOD)

BADGER ~ Connect with the group. Make allies, work steadily and well. Be whatever the situation calls for. If you find a locked door, knock.

SNAKE ~ Connect with the environment. Notice things. Tell people what they want to hear. If you find a locked door, get in through the window.

BIRD ~ Collect skills, knowledge, tools, personas, useful friends. If you find a locked door, track down the key or learn to pick the lock.

LION ~ Be honest, be direct, speak your truth. Either the obstacle is going down or you are. If you find a locked door, kick it in.

THE EVIL QUEEN (1937) - BURNT BADGER / BIRD

So. I know that in Snow White the Queen's Thing is Vanity, but. The ‘Vain Villainess’ trope is about the fear of becoming less powerful in a world that only values you for your looks.... which doesn’t actually seem to be her issue? The Queen seems pretty darn unchallenged in her universe. That’s almost part of the problem - there’s an addiction/obsession/paranoia flavor to the way she’s constantly checking in with the Mirror.

I don’t think the Queen is actually obsessed with Snow White’s beauty. I think she’s obsessed with her innocence, her “heart” (that’s literally what she asks the Huntsman to bring her, Snow’s heart in a box.) Snow White isn’t just the “fairest” as in the prettiest, but the fairest as in the most fair-minded, the most honorable. The presence of Snow, with her optimism, kindness, and trust is an existential threat, proof that the Queen is going about things all wrong. The power we see her wield definitely has an edge of sadism: She forces Snow to wear rags (none of the other princesses wear *rags.*) And I’ll be haunted by this image of the Queen’s dungeons forever.

So even though my first instinct was to go Hedonist Snake primary for the Evil Queen, that’s not right. She’s not focused on enjoying herself. She doesn’t seem conscious enough of her own desires to be a Bird, and Exploded Lion is possible… but I’m going with Burnt Badger. An obsession with being “Fairest of them all” seems to suggest a group-focused, External-facing primary, and I absolutely see how the extremely UnBurnt Badger Snow White would really get under a Burnt Badger’s skin.

Obviously a Bird secondary. The Evil Queen is Mad Scientist coded, even has a literal evil laboratory. The “Old Crone” plan features a transformation, a costume, and is very much an Actor Bird persona.

THE WICKED STEPMOTHER (1950) - SNAKE / BADGER

While she does seem to get some sort of sadistic pleasure out of controlling Cinderella, the Wicked Stepmother’s main motivation is her daughters. Her daughters kind of suck, but that doesn’t actually matter. The Stepmother is going to make sure they get that happy ending, with all the targeted loyalty of a Snake Primary. There’s a Badger secondary in there too, which you can see in the way she’s… subtle. The Stepmother takes away Cinderella‘s privilege bit by bit… but never actually goes after her directly. She manipulates her daughters into doing her dirty work (like the way they tear up Cinderella’s dress) so she can always maintain plausible deniability. She’s prim, she’s proper, she’s Lady Tremaine. Dark Courtier Badger, all the way.

THE QUEEN OF HEARTS (1951) - LION / LION

This Queen’s thing is that she’s childish. She wants what she wants NOW. Doesn’t matter if it makes sense, doesn’t matter if it’s impossible. The Queen of Hearts functions as both a lesson to Alice (authority figures don’t always know what they’re talking about) and as a warning (this could be you if you don’t navigate the transition to adulthood properly.) I see a very young Glory Hound Lion primary in the way she forces everyone else to cheat so she gets the emotional reward of winning the croquet game. I also want to attribute the Queen of Hearts’ extremely short fuse to her Lion primary - she acts on what she’s feeling the *second* she starts feeling it, and never questions this. Also she's a Lion secondary. There’s no plan. She lives in Wonderland. She’s living moment to moment.

CAPTAIN HOOK (1953) - BADGER / SNAKE

Unlike the Queen of Hearts, Captain Hook does not seem to be *of* the magical land he lives in. He is this outside force trying to impose order on Neverland, leading the only rigid organization there and constantly tying up/imprisoning the main characters. Hook is also the only one threatened by the concept of time (the ticking crocodile.) *Peter* will never grow old. But somehow Captain Hook will? Or feels like he will? Tradition also says that the actor playing Wendy’s controlling father should play Hook as well (the Disney film uses the same voice actor in both roles) so there's definitely something about toxic order going on. In the world of Peter Pan, Hook/Father becomes representative of adulthood/society/the Man. That makes him an Authoritarian Badger primary, defined by his organizations.

For his secondary - Hook’s not much of a planner. He’s most effective while he is talking an angry Tinker Bell into helping him, and in that scene he’s charming. He flatters her, pivots according to what he thinks she wants to hear, and while Courtier Badger secondary is possible, I think this feels more like Snake. (I also think you have to be some kind of Improvisational secondary in order to hold your own against Peter.) It makes sense - Hook has to be appealing and seductive as well as threatening, because that's kind of what adulthood is.

MALEFICENT (1959) - BIRD / LION

Maleficent feels socially slighted in a very *abstract* way. She doesn’t seem to have an emotional response to either the other fairies OR the King and Queen OR Aurora. Her curse doesn’t have anything to do with with her social standing, or her power, or her role in the kingdom. We actually don’t know what Maleficent’s deal is. Maybe by not inviting her to the christening the kingdom has broken some important Rule of hers. Or maybe she’s just torturing people because she’s bored, and this is a fun Project. (That is her plan with Phillip after all, and this image will ALSO always haunt me.)

But either way, she’s a Bird primary. The only question is if she’s more of a System-Building Bird, or a Project Bird.

Unusually for such a cold villain, I think I want to give her a Lion secondary. She’s patient, and her plans take place over long time-frames, but the plans themselves are direct - “When your daughter turns sixteen, I will kill her.” Done. Also, when Maleficent is threatened, she turns into a giant dragon who certainly does not plan, and her goons (while useless) are very loyal. So another point for Inspirational secondary.

CRUELLA DE VIL (1961) - LION / LION

Cruella wants a coat made out of Dalmatian puppies. That’s it. So I'm putting her in the same category as Hannibal Lecter, someone doing this for the *art,* the ~*~aesthetic~*~ of the thing. But unlike Hannibal, nothing about Cruella is cold or considered. I don’t think she’d be able to tell you why she wants that Dalmatian coat apart from “It’s fabulous, darling.” So instead of going Bird primary (the typical Weird Villain sorting) I’m saying she's a Lion. Cruella seems to have an aesthetic-based morality: "fabulous" and "non-fabulous," instead of "good" and "bad." She’s a Fay Lion primary, like Jack Sparrow.

Her secondary is harder. She definitely has goons, but they’re useless, and don’t seem to like her much. She doesn’t plot or face-change. She clearly likes Anita and doesn’t like Roger, and never bothers to mask this. Cruella first tries to buy the puppies - then sort of seems surprised when this doesn’t work? Honestly, the main impression I get from her is that she’s… not trying very hard. She only really starts to care right at the very end, when she’s driving with wild hair and crazy eyes, as her roadster falls apart around her. I’m going with Lion secondary to reflect that tendency she has to operate at either 1% or 100%.

MADAME MIM (1963) - LION / SNAKE

Madame Mim has a sort of a professional rivalry going on with Merlin, and dislikes when Wart calls him “the greatest wizard in the land.” So of course she challenges him to a wizard duel. She wants to be the best, she wants to win… and that’s all there is to it. So we have another Glory Hound Lion primary.

It’s very clear that Madame Mim loves transformation. She switches between her different faces as many times as she possibly can over the course of a single conversation. Notably, she has a sexy version of herself that she uses to charm people into doing what she wants… and there’s no reason she couldn’t wear that all the time. But she doesn’t want to. Mim gets a lot of joy out of her fluid Snake secondary, and when she’s not solving a problem she just wants to chill out in Neutral.

PRINCE JOHN (1973) - EXPLODED SNAKE / BIRD

Prince John’s motivation has a couple of layers. Obviously, he’s a *little* bit too excited about taxing on the citizens of Nottingham… but that’s because he’s overcompensating. His main visual design element is a crown that doesn’t fit. He’s not King John, he's Prince John, only in charge until his other (better) brother Richard comes home from the Crusades. That’s why he’s so easily flattered - he’s incredibly insecure. But his conflict isn't with Richard, exactly. It’s really... mommy issues. Everything John does is to please Mummy (an off screen-character.) Very Exploded Snake primary.

Secondary is hard because John is incompetent. He mostly solves problems by pointing the Sheriff of Nottingham at them. It’s a running joke that he doesn’t actually listen to his advisor Sir Hiss, who generally has the right idea but isn't a suck-up. I guess John does lay kind of sophisticated traps for Robin Hood? They don’t work, but the intent at least is Bird. So I guess I would have to go with that - a pretty incompetent Bird secondary.

PROFESSOR RATIGAN (1986) - BURNT SNAKE / BIRD

Unlike Madame Mim and Merlin, whatever Basil of Baker Street and Ratigan have going on does not feel like a professional rivalry. Technically Ratigan is plotting a coup… but he spends approximately 85% of his on-screen time entirely focused on Basil. They are at least ex-friends who now hate each other (and it’s really easy to read them as straight-up bitter exes.) Even his hatred of being called a “rat” seems to be linked to Basil - that's an insult Basil uses, implying that Ratigan is motivated by hedonism and ego, and not by the purity of the puzzle the way that Bird Primary Basil is. Really, he’s criticizing Ratigan for having a Snake primary motivation.

Ratigan is very obviously a very loud Bird secondary. He loves lists, he loves Rube-Goldberg devices. He’s based off Professor Moriarty, it's Snake Bird all the way down.

URSULA THE SEA WITCH (1989) - SNAKE / BIRD

So Ursula wants to take over, be the new monarch of the sea… which is usually a Glory Hound Lion motivation. But there's the implication the she's doing this to specifically screw over Triton... which would make her more of a Snake. Ursula also has a *very* hedonistic approach to life, something you often see in Snake primaries with small circles. It's just her and her “babies," the eels Flotsam and Jetsam. He eels also seem very emotionally important to her, as far as villain minions go. This could be another example of Snake primary loyalty.

I don't know, I just think a Lion primary Ursula would be angrier, more of a Scar. She’s doing her own thing, and makes use of an opportunity that falls into her lap. This is structurally a story about King Triton (who has the big emotional arc and the most character change) so it makes sense that she is specifically a Triton villain, and Ariel was just unlucky enough to get in the way.

I'm actually going to say Bird secondary for Ursula. I agree that she gives off Snake secondary *vibes,* and absolutely might model or perform it for fun. But the way she wins over Ariel is by spouting facts very fast and very confidently, then getting her to sign a bad contract - it’s a Corrupt Lawyer beat more than anything. Vanessa, Ursula's alternate form, is more an Actor Bird transformation (Wicked Queen style) and less a Snake secondary playing around (Madame Mim style.) Vanessa is Ursula's version of Ariel - she even speaks with Ariel's voice. That's a Bird secondary approach. When Ursula‘s plans start falling apart, she doesn't pivot. She starts looking very Lion secondary - exactly like Bird secondary Ariel does when she’s overwhelmed.

Tl;dr

Double Lion - Queen of Hearts, Cruella De Vil

Lion Snake - Madame Mim

Snake Bird - Prince John, Professor Ratigan, Ursula

Snake Badger - Wicked Stepmother

Badger Snake - Captain Hook

Badger Bird - Evil Queen

Bird Lion - Maleficent

#disney #sortinghatchats #shc #queen of hearts #cruella de vil #madame mim #disney’s robin hood #prince john #professor ratigan #ursula the sea witch #wicked stepmother #lady tremaine #captain hook #evil queen #snow white evil queen #maleficent #wisteria sorts

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captain-jacks-coat · 4 months ago

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my Once Upon A Time

Rumplestiltskin could predict the future. He didn't have to make the deal, but he chose to. He saw that the woman would become abusive towards her daughter, so he asked for her child so he could protect it.

The child was called Belle. Rumplestiltskin raised Belle as his own daughter and she was very happy.

Hansel and Gretel are orphans who can imagine things into existence. They run away from the orphanage, to find an exiled witch, who tries to feed them despite not having much herself. They imagine a gingerbread house into existence, and the witch adopts them.

One day, the witch disappears, and the villagers destroy the house. Without the witch to take care of them, Hansel and Gretel are alone and distraught. They attempt to imagine a world for them to live in, away from the people who want to hurt them. However, they imagine different worlds, and so the siblings are separated.

Hansel and Gretel's names are actually Peter and Alice. Peter imagines a world with pirates and mermaids and lost boys. Alice imagines a world with tea parties and talking caterpillars and painted roses.

The witch disappeared because she was trapped inside a mirror.

Aurora is forced to marry the prince of a neighbouring kingdom and turns to Maleficent for help.

Snow White loves Aurora. Snow's aunt, Maleficent, tries to help out by introducing the two. Aurora's fairy godmother, secretly an evil queen, doesn't approve and curses both girls into eternal sleep.

Prince Charming is childhood best friends with Snow. He kisses her forehead, which wakes her up. Snow attempts to kiss Aurora, but the nature of the curse means that she cannot go near Aurora. Aurora remains asleep.

Prince Charming doesn't go after the mystery princess and is forced to marry Snow after saving her. However, he rather likes newest servant girl - who is Cinderella, of course.

Ursula rescues the mermaid girls from their abusive father, Triton. They seek aid from above. The humans help them overthrow Triton, and the seas are divided so each of the princesses rule a different part. The sea and the land are now united.

Triton returns to his wife, the Evil Queen.

Goldilocks is homeless, and hides in the bears' house after being caught stealing food. When the bears return, they take pity on her and offer to take care of her. Goldilocks is raised by the bears.

Pinnochio was once a real boy who was cursed by the blue fairy (evil queen) after Gepetto refused to build the Magic Mirror for her. Gepetto builds a portal to send Pinnochio somewhere where a puppet can live. Pinnochio lands in Wonderland as a living puppet who can see through lies.

Alice, also known as The White Queen, falls in love with a madman who has an obsession with hats. Her adoptive sister, The Queen Of Hearts, is busy weaving a romance for a girl called Belle.

Belle, who lives with her inventor father Rumplestiltskin, gets sucked into one of her books. She falls in love with a character known as The Beast, and she becomes a fairy to free them from their curse. However, she can't stay with them, and she returns to the real world, and to her father.

Little Red Riding Hood is raised by the Werewolf, but she gets lost when she's little and the Werewolf thinks she intentionally ran away. The mother adopts her, and the Werewolf is really angry believing that the humans stole his child, and he swears revenge on the family.

Little Red Riding Hood meets a girl with golden hair who speaks Bear.

Rapunzel is a trans girl who is desperate to transition, but she is cursed to be stuck looking like a boy. Her adoptive mother is a sorceress who rescued her from an evil witch who wanted revenge on the vain royal family. She tells her mother that she is in fact a woman, and her mother searches for a spell to transition her.

Teenage Peter Pan flies to other worlds in search of his sister, but doesn't find her. However, he does find other girls and helps them. For example, a young princess called Rapunzel, who he brings back to Neverland for a little while and teaches her confidence, or Belle, who brings her father and chooses to stay with Peter, becoming the inventor fairy known as Tinkerbelle.

The Gingerbread House Witch is still trapped inside the Magic Mirror, which is unstable because it was made with dark magic. Maleficent employs Gepetto to study the Mirror, so she can free the Gingerbread House Witch, and hopefully find a way to wake up Aurora. She promises to restore Pinnochio if he helps, so he agrees.

The Werewolf finds Red Riding Hood and she remembers him. She takes him to meet her human family.

Peter Pan falls in love with a handsome teenage pirate captain.

Pinnochio lives with Hatter and Alice in Wonderland, and The Queen Of Hearts is now trying to fix things for Tinkerbelle.

Tinkerbelle falls in love with Peter's newest friend, Wendy, who can see dreams and stories.

Gepetto and Maleficent free the Gingerbread House Witch from the mirror, and they build another portal to Wonderland to try and find Pinnochio. Gepetto and Pinnochio reunite, as do the Gingerbread House Witch and Peter.

Maleficent stays behind to try and cure Aurora.

Charming, Cinderella and Snow go into the enchanted forest to try and find a cure for Aurora, and they find Red Riding Hood and Goldilocks, who help them survive in the forest. They meet the Dwarves who run an inn.

The Evil Queen and Triton discover Wonderland.

Charming, Cinderella and Snow leave the forest after finding nothing, to discover everyone else has gone to Wonderland and Maleficent is helping Aurora alone.

While the Queen of Hearts is trying to help Tinkerbelle, she spots Peter, and shows Alice, who tries to get to him but the Evil Queen smashes the Looking Glass.

Wendy begins to see the dreams of Aurora, and shows Tinkerbelle. Tinkerbelle makes the Captain's ship fly, and they ride Aurora's dreams into Aurora's world, where they meet Maleficent, Charming, Cinderella and Snow.

Peter trades his immortality, giving half his life to Aurora to wake her up.

Tinkerbelle, Peter, the Captain, Rumplestiltskin, Maleficent, Wendy, Aurora, Snow, Charming, Cinderella and the Lost Boys go through the portal to Wonderland.

Peter, Alice, and the Gingerbread House Witch reunite. Yay!

Pinnochio reveals that Cinderella is the mystery princess, and she confesses her love for Charming

BATTLE TIME

Triton sends his whole army of sea creatures and monsters.

Rumplestiltskin and Tinkerbelle build weapons for Alice's army

The Hatter and Cinderella make the armour

Wendy, Charming and the Lost Boys take care of the people

A crocodile tries to get to Peter, but the Captain takes his place. The crocodile bites off the Captain's hand.

There's a fair bit of fighting

Triton cuts off Maleficent's wings

Aurora and Snow raise an army of animals, the ravens supporting Maleficent and being her wings.

Triton becomes the Kraken, but he is defeated by the Gingerbread House Witch, who sends him god knows where.

The Evil Queen becomes the Jabberwocky, attacking Wonderland. The Queen Of Hearts fights her, cutting off the Jabberwocky's head and causing the Evil Queen to take her mortal form.

The Evil Queen makes one last desperate attempt, threatening to burn Pinnochio if they don't surrender

Geppeto becomes furious, sending the Evil Queen into a portal that causes her to fall to her death.

All curses are lifted.

The Captain takes a piece of Triton's trident and attaches it to a piece of metal, then attaches that to his hand. It looks like a hook, but it looks cool, so he keeps it.

Peter and Alice imagine hard enough that they manage to combine Neverland and Wonderland into one huge world. In the centre of it all, there is a Gingerbread Palace.

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