#captain awkward has a bunch of really good advice on this sort of thing

[rotationalsymmetry]

...there's a false premise in the way this is laid out, which is that either the friend is too needy (a personal flaw that they need to change) or OP just has to put up with it and do whatever the friend wants.

But it doesn't have to be either. People, including OP, can establish boundaries with friends, and/or request specific changes, without anyone being in the wrong.

A somewhat different example, if someone asks for money to pay a medical expense on here and I'm not willing/able to contribute, there is no need or benefit in me telling a story that that person is a scammer who doesn't really need the money. Sometimes one person needs a thing that another person has no moral obligation to provide. That's a very common situation.

It's also more constructive to treat these problems as several small problems rather than one big problem. Not "my friend is too needy" or "I am not patient enough". But instead: I don't like being late to things and I also don't like being the time monitor. (Possible solutions: ask friend to set reminders on their phone, plan get togethers where start time is flexible, tell friend I find being time monitor irritating but would find it less irritating if they said thank you (if true), spend less time with friend.) And also, I don't like speaking for them at restaurants and stores. (Possible solution: I don't know. Maybe hang out in quieter locations? Maybe they can communicate with index cards prepared in advance or something?) And also, I don't like being around friend when friend is in a persistent bad mood for reasons I think are trivial. (Possible solutions: mental reframing, having less open ended plans or just chanceling plans when friend gets into a bad mood, talk with friend about emotional management if it's a close relationship, ???)

If it were me in the friend's position with the emotional triggers/bad moods, I generally have a great deal of appreciation for people who are willing to listen to me talk about my feelings, but that's not necessarily a universal thing. And I do try to reciprocate and be supportive when the friend/whatever has their own problems and wants emotional support. But I do recognize lots of people do not want that involved of a friendship. And everyone's different and this friend might not want that. Or they might want company while they're experiencing disappointment without the talking about feelings. Or something else. Sometimes people dislike being around somebody in a bad mood because they feel like a bad person if they can't fix things; if that's the case with OP it might be good to ask the friend what sort of reaction or support they want when they're in a bad mood, and if they say something like they just want company, to accept that providing company is helping and doing a good thing as a friend, even though the friend's mood doesn't immediately transform.

(From a social justice perspective especially around not cutting off people with eg depression just for having an illness, I think it's important for people to learn to tolerate socializing with people who are not happy when possible.)

These multiple small problems can easily seem like one big problem, because the frustration is cumulative (people tend to be more likely to tolerate one irritating quality in a friend than a bunch of irritating qualities) but they are not one big "friend being needy" problem nor does "friend being needy" particularly suggest a solution. They are several different problems: a timekeeping problem, a social interactions problem, an emotional management and/or tolerating being around a person in a bad mood problem, and they might all have very different solutions.

It is possible to address them all in one conversation if you really want to, but procede with caution, because people pretty consistently react badly to hearing "here's multiple grudges I've been holding that you knew nothing about" and typically respond much better when friends bring up problems when they're still only mildly to moderately irritated and there's only one problem to address, not several (and also not "one problem" that sure sounds like "hey can you just be a different type of person?")

Human relationships are messy and involve compromises, but also there are some approaches to conflict resolution that are more likely to be constructive than others and making specific requests, or making specific changes that are up to OP and not up to the friend, are more likely to be constructive than either "hey friend you are too needy stop that" or "hey self, your own needs do not matter just let your friend treat you like a doormat no matter the cost to yourself, that's what good friends do."

Very reasonable to ask for feedback on this.

WIBTA if I confront my friend about being too needy?

My friend (mid 20's) is a really cool person but I (30's) struggle with how much help they need from me. Needy is a really uncharitable way to put it, I know, but I don't know how else to describe it.

Whenever we hang out we are constantly late to everything even with me prodding them that we have x minutes to leave. They freeze up often when approached by staff in restaurants and stores and I have to speak for them. And they have a ton of emotional triggers that I struggle to navigate. Just as an example they were talking about wanting to get into the same industry as me. I really enjoy the my career, so I told them what it was like. It wasn't what they expected. They then sighed, said "I don't want to do that anymore," and pouted about it for the rest of the night.

I haven't talked with them yet, but my friend does talk at length that they are autistic and things intimidate them. I'm not autistic and I am older, most of these things don't intimidate me. While I don't mind stepping up and helping people on occasion, I don't think it's unfair to point out that their issues have been offloaded to me without even asking if I'm okay with it.

What gives me pause is I've talked about this problem with some friends who are autistic and they said that they understand why I feel the way I do, but I should be more patient. The same friend does the same behavior with them but I guess it bothers me more than it does other people? I am rapidly running out of patience and the situation still feels like I have to be the one to tank everything because I can deal with it better.

I know that for the health of our friendship I really need to talk to them about this. I am worried that the friend in question will shut down and I won't be able to emotionally regulate my own frustrations well enough. Then other friends will think I'm being callous.

TL;DR WIBTA if I confront my autistic friend that they need too much help from me?

What are these acronyms?

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi Steph! How you’re doing? First of all, I wanna say that I love your lists. So, I was wondering, do you have some long Johnlock fics? Like, with a bunch of chapters and all that. Thank you!

Hey Nonny!! 

I absolutely do! And you know what?? I’m gonna be selfish: No one has ever EVER asked me for my shorter long fics, so I’m going to take this opportunity to finally release this list, because it’s been sitting in my drafts for YEARS lol. BUT you can check the list below for the links to all my longer-fics lists! Happy reading!!

NOVELLA LENGTH FICS: 20-25K

See also:

Novella Length Fics: 25 to 50K (Aug. 2019)

Novel Length Fics: 50 to 100K (Nov. 2018)

Novel Length Fics: 50 to 100K Pt 2 (May 2020)

Novel Length Fics: 100K+ w. (May 2019)

Novel Length Fics: 100K+ w. Pt 2 (Aug 2020)

Through the Clouds by Mazarin221b (E, 20,004 w., 6 Ch. || Retirement, Home Improvement, First Time, Romance) – Sherlock takes a remarkably early retirement at 47, and convinces John that a change of pace would do them both good. They buy an old cottage on the South Downs, and exchange their nonstop life in Baker Street for quiet contemplation, bee studies, and book writing. They might go completely insane, but sometimes it takes stepping outside of the life you're living to find the life you want. Part 1 of Through The Clouds

A Life Well-Lived by Kate_Lear (E, 20,121 w., 1 Ch. || Original Male Character, Sherlock Woos John, Jealous Sherlock, Reluctant Bi-John, Past Abuse, Insecure John, Reassuring / Caring Sherlock, Protective Sherlock, Understanding Sherlock) – John got scared off men by an abusive past relationship. Sherlock has to try and woo him while not scaring him off with protective possessive rage.

The White Lotuses by SilentAuror (E, 20,340 w., 1 Ch. || Slow Burn, Domestic, Romance) – One day John realises that he just isn't where he belongs, which is back at Baker Street with Sherlock. So he goes back and Sherlock, in his own way, courts him. Romance.

Out of the Woods by SilentAuror (E, 20,471 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Romance, Slow Burn, Flirting, Drunk Sex, Practical Jokes, POV Sherlock, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Pining Sherlock, Frustrated Wanking, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, First Kiss/Time, Virgin Sherlock, Love Confessions, Soft Sherlock, Dancing, Bum Appreciation, Hanging out with the Yard) – Sherlock is fairly certain that John has taken to flirting with him of late, but can't be entirely certain of it. At least, not until a case takes them into a forest, along with Lestrade's team and something happens that will change everything about their lives...

You're On the Air by prettysailorsoldier (M, 20,616 w., 1 Ch. || Unilock, Matchmaking, Radio, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Sherlock POV, Pining Sherlock, Flirting, Bisexual John) – The Consulting Detective and The Woman dominate the airwaves of their university radio station, doling out advice on everything from meeting the parents to sexual positions. When their ratings start to dip before the holidays, however, manager Mike thinks it's time for some fresh blood, and who better to fill in the gaps than rugby captain--and notorious flirt--John Watson? Part 1 of 25 Days of Johnlock

whiskies neat by Ellipsical (E, 20,660 w., 15 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting, POV Second Person Sherlock, Slow Burn, One Night Stand, Rimming, Blow Jobs, Anal, Soldier John, Crying, Emotional Lovemaking, Switchlock) – Home and hearth and whiskies neat, or, alternatively, Sherlock Holmes falls in love.

Achieving the Together-Coloured Instant by teahigh (E, 20,776 w., 1 Ch. || Est. Rel, PTSD, Codependency, Fluff & Angst, H/C, Smut, Demisexual Sherlock, Experiments) – John wonders if this is how it’s going to be: A life speaking in code, because they’re both too stupid to figure out how to say, “I love you.”

Winter's Delights by Kate_Lear (E, 21,173 w., 1 Ch. || Holmes Family, Christmas, Fake Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Bed Sharing, Domestics) – Sherlock takes John home for Christmas to meet the extended Holmes family. Part 1 of Winter's Delights

Once More, With Feeling by cellard00rs (T, 21,178 w., 7 Ch. || John’s Family, Fake Relationship, Romance, Fluff, Humour) – To put off his meddlesome, matchmaking mother, John convinces Sherlock to play the role of his significant other. Unparalleled awkwardness ensues.

Love Is by SilentAuror (E, 21,508 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, UST / URT, Post HLV, Romance) – At Mrs Hudson's urging, Sherlock finally decides to tell John how he feels about him. Part 1 of Love Is

echoes through time by chellefic (E, 21,619 w. || First Time, Romance, ACD & BBC, Epistolary) – Mummy sends a trunk from the Holmes cottage in Sussex to 221B. Its contents alter the way John and Sherlock see themselves and one another.

The Real Meaning of Idioms by feverishsea (T, 21,691 w., 1 Ch. || Texting, Humour, Post S2) - After two weeks away, John finally texts Sherlock. He doesn’t expect Sherlock to respond. He doesn’t expect Sherlock to keep texting him. And he really doesn’t expect things to spiral out of control so rapidly.

5 Times John Got the Girl (and lost her) and 1 Time John Got the Guy (and kept him) by LiviKate (M, 21,695 w., 6 Ch. || 5 and Ones, Kissing, Oblivious / Awkward Sherlock, BAMF / Sexy / Stud John, Embarassed John, John’s Scar, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Sherlock) – John has always had good luck with the ladies. He's charming, friendly and funny, not to mention great in bed. However, his usual skill with the opposite sex is constantly being thwarted by Sherlock and his outbursts. How will John ever get a leg over when Sherlock is always cockblocking him?

Brief Conversations with the Woman by May_Shepard (E, 21,906 w., 20 Ch. || Pining, Love Fairy Irene, Filler Fic, UST/URT, Drug Use, Clueless Sherlock, Relationship Advice, Angst w/ Happy Ending) – Sherlock has a puzzle to solve, and his name is John Watson.

When to Let Go by KendylGirl (M, 22,109 w., 8 Ch. || Friends to Lovers, Reverse Reichenbach, Sacrifice, Forgiveness, Angst, Love, Implied Drug Use) – What if it were John who had to die to thwart Moriarty's plans? John's supposed death shatters Sherlock, and when he returns, it will challenge the pair to forge a path of forgiveness, to peace, and to find a way back to each other. Part 1 of When to Let Go

A Shipless Ocean by myswordfishmind (M, 22,135 w. 4 Ch. || Post-TRF, John has a Kid) – Ten years after the fall Sherlock goes back to London to find that John no longer lives there. Instead, he resides in a seaside town, a widower, and the father of a seven year old son. Now, Sherlock must struggle with the fact that there may no longer be a place for him in this new world.

Ghost Stories by SwissMiss (M, 22,256 w., 1 Ch. || Pining, Holmes Family, Christmas, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Bed Sharing, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, First Time) – Sherlock's parents think he and John are a couple. They might be onto something.

The One With the Proposal by kim47 (E, 22,375 w., 3 Ch. || Fluff, Romance, Marriage Proposal) – Proposing shouldn't be this difficult.

Sonatina in G Minor by SilentAuror (E, 22,574 w., 1 Ch. || Case Fic, POV Sherlock, Angst, UST, Sherlock’s Violin, Post-S3, Romance) – John has come back to Baker Street, but Sherlock doesn't understand the strange tension between them, even after he begins teaching John to play the violin at John's request.

Dear John by wendymarlowe (E, 23,031 w., 64 Ch. || Post-TRF, Online Dating, Pining, Epistolary, Cybersex, Long Distance Romance) – With Sherlock dead, John eventually (under duress) makes a profile on an online dating site. And falls into a long-distance relationship with an enigmatic partner who reminds him of Sherlock in all the right ways. (Hint: it turns out to be Sherlock.) Part 1 of Dear John

Knotted by naughtyspirit (E, 23,166 w., 4 Ch. || UST/URT, Cuddling, Sharing Body Heat, Confessions, Kissing, Mastrubation, Frustration, BAMF!John) – John has to cancel a date because of Sherlock's case, which leads them to be tied up in a basement from which they have to escape. They get wet, get tied up close and John has to step up and save them. Because he's pretty. And hot. And just a little bit of a BAMF.

You Can Imagine the Christmas Dinners by ardenteurophile (T, 23,584 w., 9 Ch. || Pre-Slash, Drama, Fluff & Angst, Humour, Romance) – Sherlock takes John along for Christmas dinner with Mycroft and Mummy (And "Anthea", too). Over the course of the evening, John realises that everyone in the room - apart from him - seems to think that he and Sherlock are a couple. Part 2 of Xmas Dinners Verse

Once Upon a Beast Becoming by antietamfalls (T, 24,042 w., 6 Ch. || Beauty and the Beast AU || Magical Realism, Folklore, Celtic Mythology) – An act of pride, a druid’s curse, an enchanted leaf; Sherlock’s torment has lasted an age. Hope arrives in the form of one John Watson, a man uniquely suited to break the spell. But with a single night to win his affections, Sherlock finds his carefully laid plans disrupted by a monstrous killer whose sights are set on the only thing he has left to lose: John.

The Kepler Problem by kinklock (E, 24,270 w., 1 Ch. || Sci-Fi AU, Alien Sherlock, Space Repairman John, Alien Biology, Horny John) – Working in uncharted space exploration was not as exciting as John had hoped, especially when it turned out to be mostly bot maintenance on uninhabited planets. However, the mystery of the repeated, unexplained malfunctions on planet BAK 2212 might turn out to be exactly the kind of adventure he'd been craving.

Maintaining A Personal Life by Gingerhermit (E, 24,284 w., 6 Ch. || Alternating POV’s, Bisexuality, BAMF!John, Jealous Sherlock, Romance / Drama, Sort-of Case Fic, Peril & Angst, Love Confessions, Toplock, Soft Idiots in Love, Post S3) – Sherlock and John discover some interesting revelations about each other’s sexuality, which lead them both to question the assumptions they've made about one another for years. In the midst of their mutual discoveries, a dangerous psychopath looms on the side-lines who threatens to destroy their new beginning.

The Sexual Awakening of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson by suitesamba (M, 24,579 w., 10 Ch. || Post-TRF, Case Fic, H/C, First Kiss/Time) – Sherlock owes Mycroft a favor. Mycroft calls in that favor by offering Sherlock's consulting services in a charity auction. Sherlock and John soon find themselves at the country manor of Mrs. Ives-Patton Smarmington III - not very coincidentally a long-time friend of Sherlock's mother - where they are reluctant participants in her Murder Mystery Weekend. It's a play within a play for Sherlock and John, and their roles for the weekend event bleed over into their real lives, waking the sleeping dragons within.

Tomorrow's Song by agirlsname (M, 24,645 w., 5 Ch. || Post-TRF, POV Sherlock, Angst with a Happy Ending, Virgin / Repressed Sherlock, Love Confessions, Slow Burn, Pining, Jealous Sherlock) – How can he think a relationship with me would be a good idea? I am the sort of person to take a break from my life and when I come back after two years, I expect to find it exactly as I left it. In reality I find it shattered to pieces. (I actually equate you with my life. When did I start doing that?)

State of Flux by Atiki (E, 24,655 w., 4 Ch. || Sherlock POV, Slow Burn, First Kiss/Time, Friends to Lovers, Frottage, Cuddles and Snuggles, Awkwardness, Insecure/Virgin Sherlock, Romance) – John’s marriage is over and he is finally back home (i.e. at Baker Street, where he belongs). Sherlock is awfully insecure and John is awfully hesitant, and they're both awkward idiots, of course, but they figure it out. Many First Times happen.

[kiras-sunshine]

if you would have been the one

Written for day six of Carlos Reyes week: what if/au

Summary:

what if they didn't end up together on the night of the solar flares + the prompt of “look, i know we agreed to be friends and everything but that’s what everyone says when they break up. i can’t take you asking me for advice on how to ask out the new person you’re interested in, okay? it’s killing me” AU 

prompt is from this list

read on ao3

or

The bar is packed and even though there are a lot of people chatting around him and music is playing in the background, Carlos still hears and recognises his laughter immediately.

He leans against the table next to him and takes a long sip of his beer.

It is a beautiful laughter, free and bubbly, and Carlos loves to hear it. He is glad that he is happy, and he would do almost anything to keep it that way. Still, it feels like a sucker-punch to his gut sometimes, and he hates that he feels that way.  

TK is surrounded by his teammates, Mateo, Paul and Marjan are explaining something to him with wide movements of hands and he is almost wheezing with laughter. The lights are dim in the bar, but it almost looks like he would be glowing.

He laughs so hard he almost spills water out of his glass and some of it definitely gets onto his patterned light blue shirt and black slacks. Judd calls out him, and it is mostly inaudible to Carlos, but it makes TK shake his head slightly and the smile never leaves his face. Grace soon appears with a bunch of paper towels and helps him to dry his clothes.

He is glad that he is doing okay, and that he seems happy. He looks like he is surrounded by family, and Carlos is definitely happy for him, but it also makes his stomach twist, in a bad way, because once, he was almost a part of that family, too.

He tries to look away because it’s pathetic. It is merely a crush and a ghost of an almost-relationship and he should have gotten over it already. He is being haunted by what ifs. It’s been a few months already since they, mutually, decided that they wanted wildly different things and they would never make it work.

It was a good, clean break-up as far as break-ups go, and they decided it together. There were no dumper and dumpee, it was just a rational decision and their relationship was so vague and undefined that it ended before anything even started.

There is no good reason why he is still hung up on him, but he is, and it is terrible.

TK is still patting his shirt with the paper towels when he looks up and spots him. He definitely recognises him because he smiles at him, warmly and genuinely. Carlos waves at him because it feels like a rational reaction to one’s ex spotting them staring at them.

Besides, they are friends. Sort of. He likes TK and he is pretty sure he likes him back on some level, and he isn’t that immature that he would pass on the opportunity of friendship just because things didn’t work out between them in other ways.

He wants to be his friend, and they would need to get along even if they hated each other’s guts because they keep having to work together. The following day, after they had decided to call it quits, he had seen TK and rest of the 126 five times during one shift and he had been convinced that the universe was out to get him.

So, for everyone’s sake, he has mastered the art of trying to hide that he still has embarrassingly big crush on the man he broke up with months prior.

Carlos turns around to face the table instead of the bar crowd and a certain firefighter, but it doesn’t take long until he feels an arm wrapped around his shoulder. TK lets his hand slide along his back, and it feels like his fingertips would send small electric shocks along his spine.

He is a tactile person, he knows it, and he has realised that TK is always touching the people he cares about. It’s his way of showing affection, and while he is sort of grateful that he still cares about him, the touching is killing him inside a little bit.

Only because it reminds him too much of their almost-relationship and he misses him. He misses the time when things were not awkward between them and the time when he was in the receiving end of other than greeting touches.

“Hey,” TK says, placing his glass on the table, “I haven’t seen you in a while.”

Even though they agreed to stay as friends, he hasn’t seen him otherwise except when bumping into each other while on calls or at the bar, but they haven’t really hung out. They have caught up with each other, exchanging a few texts and TK had invited him over for a dinner, but he had refused by coming up with an excuse. He still feels a little bad about that.

“I’ve been busy,” he replies and takes another sip of his beer.

It’s not exactly a lie. He has been busy with work and spent most of his free time with his sisters, but he hasn’t actively tried to make time to meet up with him, either.

He wants him in his life, as a friend, but he still has things he needs to work on before he can genuinely just be his friend, and TK deserves better than his pining.

TK nods knowingly. “Work?”

“Yeah, always busy,” he agrees, and glances at him. He is looking down to his water glass and moving it around on the table, as if he were nervous about something. “Also, my sister gave birth, so babysitting,” he adds with a small smile.

“Congratulations,” he says, sounding sincere, as he clasps his shoulder and holds his gaze maybe a few seconds longer than necessary, but Carlos doesn’t look away either. “You’re gonna be a great uncle.”

“Thanks,” he says, taking yet another sip of his drink. “How’s your dad?”

He has seen captain Strand on calls too, and he hasn’t looked terribly ill, but he still wonders about him, too. It feels too personal to go up to him and outright ask how he is feeling, especially when he doesn’t even know what TK has told about them to him.

“Great,” he replies, and relief is audible in his voice, but he is also flashing him one of his most disarming smiles. It’s bright and warm, and it reaches his eyes, and it is definitely doing unfair things to his heart. “Chemo seems to be working.”

“That’s good,” he says with a half-smile.

TK opens his mouth but closes it abruptly when his gaze drops to his neck. Carlos yanks the collar of his shirt to cover the ugly purple-and-yellow bruise’s edge.

He has his hand raised, and almost instinctively seems to want to touch the bruise, but he yanks his hand back halfway.  

“What happened?” TK asks, and his brow is furrowed as his gaze darts between the bruise and his face.

“Crashed into a door when chasing a perp,” he replies, looking at the beer bottle instead of him.

“Ouch,” he says with a frown, “it looks painful.”

Nothing had been dislocated or broken, but the pain had still been agonizing. His shoulder still throbs with pain if he moves it in a bad angle, but it is definitely better than it had been last week.

“It’s getting better,” he reassures, and TK smiles at him, and suddenly everything feels a little better. He likes this, just talking to him and being friends. He can definitely get over his unrequited feelings. “How are you doing?”

“Still sober,” he says, into his glass of water.

“Not what I meant,” he points out softly.

“I know,” he breathes out, and turns around to face the bar crowd, but he still leans against the same table, “but I’m okay.”

He turns around, too, because the shoulder starts to throb if he tries to crane his neck, and he cannot keep his eyes away from him.

“I’m glad,” he tells him, as a man walks past them, glancing up and down. It doesn’t take him long to realise that TK follows him with his gaze and the unpleasant feeling in his stomach returns.

He grins at him. “Have you met anyone?”

He has just taken another gulp of his drink and he almost ends up spitting it out. “Uh, not really,” he manages to mutter, but TK doesn’t seem to pick up on his awkwardness or he bluntly decides to ignore it.

“What about him?” He asks, nodding towards the man who just walked by, “he definitely checked you out.”

He glances back at the man who has sat down in one of the back booths of the bar. He is handsome, there is no denying that. He is tall, lean and it looks like he is in great shape and his brown eyes keep glistering and the mustard-yellow sweater looks great against his dark skin, but TK has his heart still in a chokehold and he cannot bring himself to genuinely get interested in someone else.

Also, the last thing he needs is to bring a third person into this mess he has created for himself. He is aware that the man’s gaze is still on him, but he decidedly decides to look rest of the 126, who have moved on to have a darts competition in the corner.

It’s Mateo’s turn and he does surprisingly well.

“Uh, no,” Carlos eventually says, shaking his head, as he realises that he never replied to TK and he doesn’t want him to interpret his silence as a sign of interest.

“Not your type?” He asks, and his face suddenly breaks into a delighted smirk. “What is your type?”

He wants to scream, a little. He is quite sure he doesn’t even have a type. Appearance-wise there is no common characteristics between his exes, and he usually just goes for guys who he gets along with and who make him laugh. “I don’t know,” he says, shrugging and hoping that TK would just let it drop.

He has no such luck, and he should have guessed it. He might not know TK completely, but he knows he is stubborn and determined, and a little bit of a jerk when he wants to be.

“Am I your type?” He asks, with a wide shit-eating grin.

“I don’t know, maybe,” he mutters as he takes a longer gulp of his drink than necessary, “also, I don’t really need your help with this.”

He just wants them to change the subject, but obviously TK gets it in a wrong way, because he laughs and bites his lower lip as he looks at him. “I’m sure you don’t. You, what, said hello to me and I was gone for.”

Carlos swears his heart jumps into his throat, and he struggles to swallow or even find words for a reply. Luckily, TK is on rambling mood and just continues on without waiting for a reply.

He gets along with all of his exes, and he hasn’t had ugly break ups, but this conversation they are currently having, is on a whole another level and he doesn’t know what to do with it.

“I think I’ve lost all of my game,” TK says, exhaling and scanning the crowd with his gaze, but he settles at looking his crew’s dart match.

“What game?” Carlos asks, with a grin, and the words are out of his mouth before he really even considers them, but it is so easy to fall in the easy-going banter with him, and he wants this conversation to find a new topic.

He loathes that it makes him a little happy that TK hasn’t found anyone else. It is completely selfish and horrible, but he is convinced that pretending to be friends and getting along with TK’s next friends-with-benefits guy would be a whole another circle of hell.

TK lets out a surprised huff, which is followed by a chuckle and gaping at him. “That’s rude,” he deadpans, gently slapping him in his tricep, “you talk to all of your exes like that?”

“Nope. Do you?”

It is completely out of curiosity, he wants to know how much of this convo is just TK being TK and how much can contributed to the fact that neither one of them knows how to act around each other any more.

“You’re literally the only one I talk to,” he retorts, but he shrugs immediately after. “I guess we’re special then,” he says softly, glistering in his eyes, and if Carlos didn’t know any better, he would say he is flirting with him, but he knows better.

“I guess so,” he confirms with a small and dazed smile, and rubs his own neck.

“But seriously I could use some help,” TK continues, softness gone from his voice. He drums the edge of his glass with his fingers.

Carlos briefly wonders what he has ever done to inflict this kind of suffering upon himself. Being in the receiving end of TK’s teasing and soft smiles hurts, but it hurts in a good way. Setting him up with someone else hurts, but not in a good way, it’s killing him.

“What did you like about me?” TK is definitely carrying the conversation on his own, while he wallows in self-pity and misery, but this time he expects an answer, if his expectant look is anything to go by.

He has focused all of his attention him, and there is no escaping of this, and he cannot come up with any ways to distract him. He guesses he could just kiss him and then he probably would stop talking to him, but he still has some self-preservation left in his mind. He guesses he could just admit that he still hasn’t gotten over him, but that doesn’t feel like a good option either currently.

Especially when he was the one who said if it is not meant to be, then it’s not meant to be. His heart hasn’t just caught up with his mind.

Which means his only option is to give him an answer to his horrible question. Besides of all the inner turmoil that his question causes, it is also a really difficult to answer.

It’s hard to break down, objectively, what it was that attracted him to him and what it was that made the spark between them to ignite because knowing that would probably mean he would know why he is still hung up on him.

He cannot explain why he is drawn to him. He just is. It’s that simple, it’s like a magnet pulling him and he cannot fight it.

“You had kind eyes and a nice smile,” he eventually replies, and it is not far from the truth. “And you were hot.”

When they had first met, on that call where the baby had gotten stuck in the tree, he definitely noticed his eyes first. He has always found them beautiful, a particular shade of green, and he had been wearing the whole firefighter gear complete with the helmet, and it had been a little hard to notice anything else except his bright eyes and amused half-smile.

Obviously, later, he had seen him without the gear, and he was, and still is frankly, gorgeous. He still isn’t going to elaborate more or ramble to his ex how hot he found him when they met. He still has some dignity left and he is half-convinced he is going to develop an ulcer if this conversation steers into that direction.

“Were?”

Carlos smirks into his bottle. “Are, whatever.”

He flashes him another smirk, but it seems just slightly meek and it doesn’t linger. “Huh,” TK says, quietly. He looks a little taken a back, but in a good way. “Any tips?”

Carlos is convinced he might be in hell already, but he is already too deep in this conversation to make any sort escaping attempts. “Just, uh, look at them. Make them feel like they are the only person in the world,” he ends up saying, and he just cannot tear his eyes away from his, and TK is making no attempts to do so, either, and they just keep looking at each other.

At that moment, he feels like the only person in the world for TK, and it is definitely becoming too much. He fakes a cough, and the moment passes. He drinks the remaining of his beer. “Worked for me at least,” he murmurs against the bottle.

TK nods, and he is about to say something else, but Marjan and Mateo come to his rescue. They start to talk, rapidly, about their darts game and how TK needs to participate too, and Carlos has never been more grateful that TK’s attention is not on him.

“Carlos,” Marjan says, and gestures towards the scoreboard that she holds in her hands, “tell us TK’s full name for this wonderful scoreboard.”

He skims through the list and it looks like they have written everyone’s first and middle names for good measure there, and he half-suspects the dart game is only a elaborate scheme by the crew to find out his name.

It’s not even that big of a deal and he doesn’t quite get why he is so secretive about his name, but he is sort of impressed that he has managed to keep it under the wraps for so long and watching the team try to figure it out is sort of amusing.

He can see from the corner of his eye that TK is shooting him a pleading look, and he wouldn’t have needed to see that, because he wouldn’t have told them anyway.

“No.”

He guesses TK needs someone on his corner for this ridiculous crusade, too.

“What?”

“Loyalty bounds,” he replies, cocking his head a little.

Marjan groans but TK rises his hand to high five him, and he meets his palm in the middle.

Mateo takes the score board from her. “How are you guys even like that after a break-up,” he mutters as he scribbles just TK on the list.

For a moment, everything feels tense and awkward again, but luckily Marjan starts to talk again.

He listens to his friends intensively, and Carlos gets the faint idea that this might be his only chance to escape this conversation before he has to give him more tips how to hit on guys who are not him, and he feels terrible and selfish and he knows it is completely asshole thing to do and TK doesn’t deserve it, but he walks out of the bar when he doesn’t notice.

He hoped that fresh air would make him feel better and help him to clear his head, but the day has been hot, and the air just feels heavy and thick and does nothing to help the heavy feeling in his chest.

He just breathes, looking at the parking lot that bathes in the last rays of the setting sun. He wants to be alone, but he hears how the door of the bar creaks as someone pushes it open.

“Are you okay? You kinda disappeared,” TK says, and he does sound concerned and weary.

He opens his eyes and turns around to look at him. He looks almost out place, his hands shoved into the pockets of his pants and his eyes keep darting around the parking lot. “Yeah, sorry. I needed to get away.”

He nods solemnly, biting his lower lip. “Was it because of me?”

There is sharpness in his voice that wasn’t there before, and it almost catches him by a surprise.

“What?”

He sighs deeply and runs his hand through his hair. “I know everyone always agrees to be friends after a break-up, and I don’t want to lose you, but you look almost borderline nauseated when you see me and now, you’re literally running away. So, just say the word and I will leave you alone.”

He shakes his head as he looks at the pavement underneath his shoes. There are small cracks on it. He sighs and sits down the edge of the pavement. It’s not the best place to sit down, but TK tentatively follows his lead and sits down next to him.

“I want to be your friend,” he starts, because apparently, he is not as good at hiding his emotions as he hoped, but still, he has understood it all wrong. “And you’ve done nothing wrong.”

It breaks his heart that he thinks he doesn’t want anything to do with him and only pretends to get along with him.

“Okay,” he says, under his breath, but his voice still sounds a little flat and emotionless.

Escaping the conversation had been a desperate attempt at avoiding talking about anything real he still might feel for him, but he knows he deserves to hear the truth, even if he will end up thinking differently of him.

Besides, pretending he doesn’t feel anything more than friendship towards him was always immediately off the table if it hurted him.

“And honestly,” he starts, staring at his own hands, “I cannot give you advice how to hit on other people, it’s killing me.”

It feels good admitting that aloud, but the parking is desolated besides them and the parked cars, and it is so quiet.

“Why?”

At first, he isn’t sure if he heard him correctly. He turns his head around, but it sends a flash of pain in his shoulder, and he ends up turning a bit towards him. TK is slouching and staring at the ground, but Carlos keeps glaring at him, because he figured it would be quite obvious why he has hard time giving him dating advice.

He takes a deep breath. “Because I’m still not over you,” he admits, quietly and it comes out softer than he intended, but honesty feels good.

TK’s head snaps up at that and suddenly his gaze is back on Carlos, and he feels strangely vulnerable, right there and then, underneath his gaze. “Oh.”

Carlos lets out a laugh, but it ends up sounding like a sad attempt of laughter. “I know, pathetic, really.”

“It’s not,” TK says, gently, but his gaze darts back to the cars that keep reflecting the sunlight just slightly, “because if you’re pathetic, then so am I, because I think I haven’t gotten over you, either.”

He blinks at him, taking in his words and now he is sure he didn’t hear him right, but there is no other explanation. TK stays quiet, but he shrugs and flashes him a sheepish smile.

“Aren’t we a pair,” he says with a chuckle.

The heavy feeling in his chest has evaporated into nothing, but the absurdity of this whole conversation is making his mind short-circuit and he is just a little loss for words.

“It’s been two months,” TK complains, attempting to hold back his own laughter, but it erupts a little in the end. “And I’ve tried to get over you, but nothing has worked so far.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” he says, gesturing between them, “this was not my best decision.”

In retrospect, maybe if they have never even stared anything, they would happier and not in this situation, but it fills his heart with different kind of heavy sadness that he seems to regret the whole thing.

He guesses he notices his shift in his mood, because TK’s face falls a little and he places his hand on his forearm. “No, that came out wrong. I don’t regret you, I only regret letting you go. Only an idiot does that and I’m like a certified idiot at this point,” he rambles on, ruefully.

“You’re not that bad,” he says, nudging his shoulder with his own, “I should have given you more time.”

He has maybe spent a couple of sleepless nights thinking about various what ifs. Mostly that is just a waste of time, but he knows they could have done some things a little differently. If he could go back in time, he would try to understand him a little more because the timing was truly atrocious.

He squeezes his arm slightly. “Stop it, you didn’t do anything wrong. It would have been unfair to ask you to wait around while I got my shit together.”

“I did end up waiting anyway,” he remarks.

He isn’t convinced if it can be called waiting, because he certainly didn’t wait for him to change his mind. Sure, he had hoped that things would have worked out differently between them, but in reality, he had just waited to get over him and his crush.

He sharply sucks in his breath and looks back at him. His whole face softens and there is a ghost of a smile on his lips. “Is it wrong if I’m kinda glad that you did?”

His heart skips a beat at the implication of his words.

“No.”

His face breaks into a full smile, and it illuminates his face at least as much as the sunbeams of the sunset. He slides a little closer to him on the edge of the pavement and he cups his face with one hand. His movements are tentative, but seemingly thoughtful. He lets his hand slide along his cheek, and he ends up holding his chin with his fingers.

“Can I?” He asks, and his voice is barely a whisper, as he searches something from his eyes.

He has to admit that TK is a little more than good at making him feel that they are the only people in the world. “Yeah.”

His lips meet his in an instant. It’s soft kiss and his lips are warm against his own. He faintly tastes like lime and even though the kiss above all is a comforting one, and it still sends a thrill through his spine. Most of all, it feels like coming home.

“I missed you,” he murmurs when TK only slightly pulls away.

“Me too,” he tells him gently, brushing his cheekbone with his thumb before he pulls further away.

“Turns out you’re very hard to stop thinking about,” he says, in a light tone, almost jokingly, even though it is the truth.

He remembers when he described TK to Michelle all those months ago and said that he cannot get him out of his head. That had been a more accurate description than he would have imagined.

TK laughs so hard he lets his head fall back. “That’s probably first time anyone has said that about me,” he says, flashing a brilliant smile, but his smile fades away and he looks graver. “I know you deserved better than what I did, but I never not wanted you. I was just—in a messy and confusing place in my life and I didn’t want to get hurt again.”

Carlos stays quiet, because he feels like he might not have finished talking and he has heard these things before, and he just wants to give him the space to say what he wants to.

“And I didn’t want to hurt you either, and I thought maybe you would be better off without me,” he says, quietly, but he looks back up to him.

“That’s quite an assumption to make on your own,” he tells him, kindly.

He knows he could have backed off of whatever they had at any point, and usually he doesn’t want to bother with people who have gone through messy break ups because he doesn’t want to end up being the rebound. He could have backed off when he learned about his addiction, but he had not, because he had seen TK as himself and he knew he was worth chasing for.

“I know, I’m good at jumping into conclusions,” he jokes, but sighs deeply. “And as you know, I wasn’t looking for anything serious, but the universe must have been mocking me by throwing you at my way because--,” he lets his voice trail away.

“You’re you and I got a glimpse of what we could be, and it was almost too good to be true, and I got fucking terrified, and it threw me off the loop and I was a coward,” he finishes, and he has been talking rapidly the whole time, and he ends up sounding breathless.

“You were not,” he corrects him. “You were trying to protect yourself and there’s nothing wrong with that,” he adds, softly, and takes his hand into his own. “And I’d have never wanted you to do something you were not ready for.”

TK glances at their hands, almost wistfully, but he doesn’t pull his own away. “I guess. And what I’m trying to say is that I still want you if you will have me.”

A wave of relief goes through him and he lets out a long exhale. He looks at the skyline that has been painted bright orange and golden by the sunset and he feels calm even if his heart keeps fluttering in his chest and he cannot physically fight the smile that tries to form on his lips.

“I’m generally not opposed to second chances,” he says and raises their intertwined hands so that he can kiss his knuckles. “And I wouldn’t want anyone else.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

This time, Carlos is the one who kisses him. The kiss itself is still gentle, but there are stronger emotions humming underneath it, and he is squeezing his hand a little tighter, as if fearing that he would disappear. TK’s hand ends up in his neck and he is stroking his hairline with his fingertips and he parts his lips slightly and TK laughs into the kiss.  

“I thought--,” TK tries when they depart to breath, but he is still resting his head against his forehead. “I thought I had messed up any chance with the back and forth,” he admits against his lips.

“This better be the last back-and-forth we do,” he says, with a chuckle. “I only want this if you’re all in, too.”

“I am,” he promises, and he sounds so sure of it, he cannot even doubt his words.

TK kisses him again, and it is the sort of all-consuming kiss they shared in the very beginning, and all of his senses are just full of him. The way he smells the cologne he uses and the way his fingers feel just slightly rough against his cheek and his slight stubble tickles his chin. He is his one and only thought.

“This evening took a turn I wasn’t expecting,” he says, when they pull away from each other once again. He tries to catch his breath, but his stomach keeps somersaulting at just the way TK keeps glancing at him.

“I know,” he laughs.

“You know, we can still take it as slow as you want,” he says, when his mind feels just a bit clearer, because he knows that just because they have decided to give it another go, it doesn’t mean any of the issues that existed already would magically disappear.

“Yeah,” he breathes out, but he grins. “Would you like to go out with me? Honest to god date and all that,” he asks, excitment colouring his voice.

“I’d love that.”

“Great,” he says, planting a kiss on his forehead. “Also unrelated to asking you out because I’m going to plan a proper date and not just some impromptu thing, but do you want something to eat? I’m starving.”

“Sure,” he replies, and stands up. He helps TK up too, even though he doesn’t require help, but he likes to do it, anyway.  “Tacos?” He asks, nodding towards a taco cart that is located a couple of blocks away.

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

Suddenly, tacos feel like a beginning of something new.

[popculturebuffet]

Toons for Our Times: Ducktales: They Put a Moonlander on the Earth!

At Glomglast, Glomgold Glomturns! Flintheart Hero of Earth Glomgold continues riding his wave of good PR from helping save the earth in the manner you’d expect: With  a dangerous attention seeking pr stunt/ferris wheel/half-ased plan to murder scrooge. Naturally Dewey is first in line for it. Meanwhile Webby tries to convince a wound up Penumbra to stay and enjoy earth so she can get a new alien friend who she relates to and her brothers can get a new step mom, while Launchpad is awkward because his coffee with Pennumbra went worse than the one he had with the gas cloud. The Glom Knight Glomturns under the cut. 

This one is late for both good reason, I didn’t want to hog the wifi while my nieces were trying to remote school, and not so good I.e.... I entirely forgot an episode was today because I’m not used to the new schedule, as in the past the show’s either aired on saturday like usual for a disney show, or as a cluster of episodes throughout one week, so even if it wasn’t something I was used to, I was tuned to stay in. The new schedule is weird  and my brain is stupid is what i’m saying. Now i’ve covered my butt on with the review! This week focuses on Penumbra, and explains exactly what happened to the Moonlanders after Moonvasion. For Penny at least she’s apparently been living in the McDuck hangar, or somewhere near it, and working on rebuilding one of the bigger ships to get her people home. Della, while not missing the opprotunity to point out now Penny’s the one living in HER garage buliding a rocket home, pitches in and we see things have clearly changed. At least with Della, Penny’s let down her guard and now openly considers her her best friend.. and perhaps more because the romantic tension is so thick here you could cut it with a sword. Granted I may have swords on the brain because of this. 

Which if your not up to date on your x-men comics, is an event where our Uncanny X-Men, now having their own nation of krakoa where all mutants are welcome, which includes apocalypse so he’s on THEIR SIDE in that shot, must fight ten other mutants in a ritual sword duel with some of the strongest swords in the mighty marvel canon, and loosing means the other mutants, many of whom are the CHILDREN of apocalyspe from centuries ago he thought lost, get to invade earth with a demonic horde. And if NONE of that made you curious, let alone want to read that, I just.. don’t get you. 

Back to the gays, yeah the ten sword thick sexual tension is broken by the fact that Penumbra reveals she tried SOME earth culture and did get that coffee with Launchpad, with Della baffled.. I mean look at those abs. Though it’s probably less “Launchpad really?” and more “Why not me first? Is he sexier? Dammit he is. “ It went about as well as you’d expect.. with Penny storming out suddenly saying this is terrible and running off. Eh not the worst first date i’ve seen in animation this year. I’ve seen a woman go on a date with a man conjoined to his ex.. and not like their siblings it’s a medical procedure. Because close enough is pretty fucking insane and let’s keep it that way.

But yeah so Penumbra’s not sold on earth and Della’s attempts to get her to go with the kids, get to that in a minute, fall on deaf ears. But the thing is. her people are. When meeting with gibious and zenith, if you don’t remember the married moon couple we saw back in “The Golden Spear”, Penumbra finds out she’s the only one who wants to go home. Her people like it here...the happy couple even got adorable new outfits, a job with Glomgold in Gibbious’ case, and an adorable new dog named good boy. Look at them. 

I would die for either of them. I hope we see Good Boy again. And that the show introduces Bolivar, donald’s dog at some point. Or even his ostrich hortense. I just want the duck to have a pet dammit. 

Point is their happy here and while Penny wants to go back to the old routine of them all on the moon and her saving them.. their fine if she wants to go home but.. their staying here. And it’s easy to see WHY they want to: The moon was harsh, filled with monsters and much like us humans right now with earth, they only stayed in their clusterfuck of a home world because they had no way out. It’s probably why Lunaris sold hte invasion so easily: With his pitch they were just taking a nicer world from a bunch of mean asssholes who refused to share it and whose sole representative had seemingly betrayed them. Without any reason to hate the earthlings and, outside of once incident later in the episode, the earthlings accepting them with open arms and forgiveness, why wouldn’t they stay on a nice, sunny world, in a large city willing to house them and give them jobs, with delicious foods and all sorts of fun shit to distract you from the bad parts of living here that the moon lacked. 

Penny’s issue is while THEIR lives were miserable.. her’s wasn’t. She was a hero, a super hero really.. I mean she’s dressed like a kree sentry, she protects the helpless and she’s a fearless warrior whose now a fish out of water on a world she never could’ve expected but grows to love. Martian Manhunter, Captain Marvel, the Mar Vell one, Warlock, Adam Warlock and yes their separate characters, Supergirl, not superman because while he is an alien he grew up here.. all aliens who immigrated here and grew to love and protect it and see it as their home. Penny just hasn’t got to the “love and protect it” part yet and while the rest of her people have new purpose, new homes and new lives and still meet once a week to party she finds herself, theri greatest champion an outsider, desperately wanting her old life back but not accepting it’s gone. She can go home but she’d be the one person on a desolate moon clinging to the past.  Penny here honestly reminds me of jasper in steven unvierse future: Both are old soldiers who find their empire gone, their entire way of life uprooted and have no way to cope and desperately hoping things will collapse back to THEIR normal, not realizing the new one isn’t going anywhere and is better for their people. They need to move on but their too proud and too scared to try. 

However Penny refuses to admit defeat to her people and that she can’t have “earth fun”, and left with no other choices, decides to take the kids up on their offer after all. To explain that we quickly wrap to the top of the episode, where Webby, bored and having trouble finding anyone, finds Penny and after Penny dosen’t want to hang out finds Dewey and Louie. I assume since their absent this episode, Huey is introducing Violet to Gyro, Fenton and Boyd, Beakly is buying groceries, Donald is courting Daisy and Scrooge.. is trying to get fethry’s hands, feet and head out of pickle jars because he thought they’d preserve him and Donald is busy for once so he’s the only one left to do it.  Louie and Dewey plan on just laying around and biinging old ottoman empires, I can relate, but the news gives them a better option. A GLOMGOLD OPTION. Oh me mow how i’ve missed this big beautiful man. Seriously Glomgold is easily one of the best parts of the reboot and Keith Fergeuson brings an utterly delightful manic glee to the guy any time he shows up to eat the scenery whole. While I get holding back on him since he had an arc last season, it’s still nice to have him back in all his hammy glory.  And naturally being glomgold he has a scheme going: After gifting a rolelrcoaster previously, over water and with sharks because his brand’s nothing if not consistent, he’s now offering the flintferris glomwheel, which is shoddy, dangerous, secretly a plot to kill scrooge, and is very likely to kill a child.. so in other words it’s Glomgold himself roleld into a ferris wheel. Dewey is psyched to go because he let another kid go first for Glomgold’s last PR Stunt/Nightmare and that kid got all the glory and as such is now Dewey’s new nemisis. So after asking his mom “If we can go ride a death wheel so I can get famous’, which of course Della says yes to, our heroes end up taking Penny along.  Launchpad drives and gets his subplot for the episode, being awkard around Penny because the date went bad and not sure if this makes then enimies and avoiding her. He tries going to dewey for help, and while Dewey is out of his element, he does actually give good advice to just talk to her.. Launchpad just takes it while he’s driving because it’s launchpad. Thankfully webby can drive. He spends the rest of hte episode getting into shenanigans before, after helping her with the climax, phrasing, being honest and apologizing. And i’m also covering the plot to get her answer out of the way now: Penny admits he’s fine, thery can be fight buds, he’s a good warrior sh’es just “Not interested in an earth..male” her exact words. 

I mean.. there’s no real subtly here. Even if she’s not into Della, which all evidence suggests is the case, Penumbra is CLEARLY into women. I mean Frank is basically saying as loudly as his mousey overlords will allow “SHE’S GAY FOR DELLA”. Wether this goes anywhere, I dunno. While Lumity started ramping up this year, that property’s not based on Disney’s classic canon and STILL had to fight tooth and claw to make Luz bisexual and her love intrested a girl. Disney won’t even let this show use Mickey and almost didn’t let them use the rescue rangers, the odds are against them.. but I also never thoguht we’d see violet’s gay dads on screen, or so many previously  comics only characters, so frank’s said screw the impossible before. Now probably is no different. 

Back to the main plot, and to the return of Glomgold whose great as ever. Glomgold made the moonlanders and some of duckberg think he was soley responsible for saving the world.. how many people besides the non-penny moonlanders think he actually did it is up for debate but he DID genuinely help save the world. Also his scheme to get his company back somehow WORKED despite not being legally binding, as he’s now back in his tower, back to scheming and has an actual assitant instead of a professional career woman he treats like one in a bit that didn’t age all that well even a year later.  Gibious is now Glomgold’s sidekick and in a nice contrast to Owlson instead of being fed up with his crap Gibious, buying into Glomgold’s own ego, lavishes praise on his new boss, treats him like the god he thinks he is, and is genuinely sweet and helpful. It’s a nice dynamic giving Glomgold someone who ACTUALLY and genuinely likes him as a person and wants him to suceed and trusts in his insane schemes and leads to some great bits like Gib genuinely calling the safety inspector when Glomgold makes an airquotes remark about it and at the end Glomgold admitting “I can’t stay mad at you” to his new lackey/Best friend. Frankly Glomgold needed a 21 to his Monarch, and i’ts a delight to see it and Paulson and Ferguson have real chemistry.  Meanwhile in the A-Plot, Webby tries to get Penny to enjoy earth, first with a street performer she tosses in the water ,as you should, then with a shooting range which ends with her massacering a clownhead to the children minus webby’s horror and tears. We were one more frame away from this really. 

Also we get the ducks feeding.. ducks, a gag Frank’s apparently wanted to do for three seasons now, and with Penny being as confused as the audeince. but non of this, including roller skates really works.  So while Dewey goes off to get in line to one up his rival, Webby gets honest with Penny about why she’s so invested and this episode goes from good.. to truly fantastic. While webby fangirling over a mighty and gay space warrior makes sense, there’s a personal reason she wants to help here that really tugs at the heart strings: Webby was like her once. Like Penny she spent her whole life honing herself into a weapon, sealed in her own tiny world, For Penny it was her moon village for Webby it was the mansion. And being thrust out into it was .. frightening. We saw webby struggle to adjust in “Daytrip of Doom!” and part of her wanted to plunge back into the mansion and her saftey net at times. But she didn’t.. with the help of her family, and her friends, she found out just how wonderful the world is and how as scary as the world is.. it opened up new parts of her. Duckberg webby was just as great as mansion webby if not better. So Webby wants to do the same for penny and what really clinches the scene is how she does it: a Hamburger, the symbol from the pilot of what webby was deprived of all her life, given to a new friend as a symbol of what the world offers. And it works at first, even without cheese. But then Penny gets a brain freeze, and Glomgold, needing a distraction from the saftey inspector rames her as going beserk because he’s an asshat in every other way let’s add racisim to it. 

A chase insues, Penny’s determined to flee.. but she gets a second wind when Dewey, who rushed in to get the first ride and webby get trapped. Sadly dewey’s new enemy gets all the attention, and as we find out is aware he one upped Dewey and brags over it, but Penny has now gone from fish out of water to shark on the hunt, and with Launchpad’s help to get past Glom and Gib, and the roller skates from earlier finally has some earth fun by skating into the air, climbing the Ferris wheel and saving the kids. Penny FINALLY found something she likes about earth; That she can Still protect people, including her people and do what she loved there and the danger here is WAY more intresting.. I mean on hte moon itw as just the usual monsters she was used to. Here she had to rocket into the air, and climb an megalomainics cannon armed ferris wheel to save two adorable children. In short she’s become a super hero and like those I mentioned, has grown to care about earth. So basically this is like captain marvel was an episode of Steven Universe. I likes it. But it’s a nice character arc, as Penny realizes the outside world, and her new friends/future stepchildren, have b eauty and worth. And she will protect their kind, she will protect them. I mean duckberg already has about 4 other superheroes if you count lena, which with that outfit last time I dooo, but frankly with how much disaster it faces on a daily basis, and how much Fenton needed a goddamn break, and with Darkwing leaving for st canard soon, they could probably use her. 

So the day is saved, Glomgold is buired in fines but has a new minon, Dewey is dewfeated and Penny is happy again. We end on Penny recounting everything to Gibious and wife, and Good Boy obviously, along with Della who casually admits she really shoduln’t of let her child go but sooths him anyway over his loss. Penny is happy and deciding to stay, and her and her new best buddy laucnhpad are going to go tear the ship apart with her carrying della along. I swear when they finally do do it she’s just going to.. carry a willing della to her bedroom and throw her down on that thing.. everything after is up to you Id ont’ write porn here. Nothing wrong with it just not my bidness. So with a hopeful new future and a neat t-shirt, Penny finally finds her place in the world. 

Final Thoughts: A very good, very gay episode that’s just as good as last weeks and gives penumbra a hell of a character arc, while also being an utterly hilaroius episode, from penumbra’s destruction, to glomgold’s hilarious as always antics to dewey’s attention whoring reaching self endagering heights of stupidity and ego, this was a great one and keeps up Season 3′s quality streak. While the plot progression may be slow for now, everything else is at an alltime goddamn high. 

Next week, it’s the HALLOWEEN EPISODE BITCHES. Nuff Said. Until then you can check my blog for more reviews, as we have some halloween stuff coming up. Sadly with Loud House going silent, it seems this is our only weekly coverage but expect more reviews of various shows, and some very spooky ooky ones coming very soon including some brucie bonus episodes and until we meet again, go team venture! Play us out glomgold....

[jessi-writes-fandoms]

A new beginning: An OC story

Chapter 2

Another week had passed and Remedy and Nightshade were feeling right at home. Nightshade was slowly starting to come out of her shell, mostly because Remedy would force her out of their room. Remedy had dragged Nightshade over to Swerve’s bar so she could meet some of the others, Remedy was sitting at the bar chatting and laughing with Swerve, Chromedome and Rewind, each of them exchanging stories and jokes. Meanwhile Nightshade was sitting by herself just trying to avoid the noise coming from the other side of the room. After some time Whirl had asked to join her, she happily allowed him to join her in the mild silence of the dark corner.

“You don’t talk much do you?” Nightshade Kept her gaze at the wall next to her. “this just isn’t really my scene you know?” Whirl tilted his helm in confusion. “Then why are you here? Wouldn’t you be happier somewhere else?” Nightshade gave a long sigh and looked over at the bar where Remedy and a few of the others were having a good time. “I wish I could be more open like Remedy, despite what she did back on Cybertron the thought of being hated never really occurred to her.” Whirl looked over at the others and just groaned. Popularity is overrated, sure she probably loves being everyone’s friend but she’ll learn that it’s not all happy fun time around here. Did they tell you guys about the sparkeater that was on board a while back?” Nightshade was snapped from her thoughts. “There was a what?!”

Over at the bar Remedy was telling everyone about the many planets she and Nightshade have been to on their runaway adventure over the past couple thousand years. “I gotta say my favorite planet we been to was Earth, we pretty much used our holo avatars the entirety we were there. It’s amazing no one found us, I mean weren’t a majority of Autobots and Decepticons on earth as well? Oh and the music that the organics have is amazing!” The others simply laughed and continued on asking more about their adventures. Swerve slid another glass of high grade to Remedy. “So what exactly do you plan to do when all this is over, you know the whole finding the knights of Cybertron thing?” Remedy’s sweet cheerful smile suddenly turned to a scared and sad frown, she then took a swig of the high grade. “Ratchet said I could still possibly be arrested for what I did and Nightshade could be killed.” The others stared at her in disbelief, Rewind then gave Remedy a small hug.

“They won’t hurt you guys, they just can’t! Nightshade doesn’t seem like the type to hurt anyone and you’re too cute to be locked away.” Remedy gave a weak smile and thanked her new friends for caring so much for her and Nightshade despite them still being strangers on the large ship. Suddenly Rodimus walked into the bar and sat next to Remedy. “Well helloooo nurse~ how are you enjoying your stay? What am I talking about, you love it here! Look at you being all social and getting so much attention, but I’m sure you’re used to that.” Remedy gave a questioning look, not sure exactly how to respond. “uh.... not really? I kinda been with one other bot for the past couple thousand years.” Rodimus simply gave her a sly smirk. “C’mon Rem a femme like you should get all the attention, you deserve it.” Remedy rolled her optics and turned away from the captain. “I don’t seek attention from anyone.” Rodimus let out a bored sigh but continued to pester the young nurse. “Look you’re an attractive bot I bet there’s someone on this ship you got the hots for.”

Remedy suddenly froze, a faint blush crawling across her face. Sure there was a certain mech who she had thoughts about but she just pushes them aside, besides she’d never tell Rodimus who it was anyway. Knowing him he would probably shout it on the comm system so the whole ship would know who she had feelings for. “I’m gonna go check on Nightshade, I will see you guys later.” She then got up from the bar and walked over to the dark corner where Remedy and Whirl were seated and Whirl left to leave the two alone to talk. Nightshade gave Remedy a concerned look. “What’s wrong? You were having so much fun with the others and Rodimus actually talked to you!” Remedy sighed and sat down across from her good friend. “He always talks to me and it’s always flirting and asking who I have a crush on.” Nightshade lowered her wings in sadness and darted her eyes from Remedy’s gaze. I guess it’s not surprising he would flirt with you, you’re so pretty and I can barely talk to anyone. Wait you don’t have a crush on him do you?!” Remedy raised her servos in defense. “No, hell no I would never- Why would you even assume I liked him?”

“I seen the way he looks at you, and you always said you were a sucker for smooth talkers. Remember the other day when he pulled you from the medbay just so he could ask you about your hobbies and interests, then he started using all those pick up lines?” Remedy Rolled her optics remembering that annoyingly long five minutes of Rodimus asking about her personal interests and saying something stupid. “He’s really annoying, Ultra Magnus must be losing his shit dealing with him. I just wish he wouldn’t ask personal questions about who I have a crush on.” Nightshade suddenly looked at Remedy, her wings perked up in curiosity. “Do you have a crush on someone? You can tell me I promise not to laugh or say anything I swear!” Remedy sighed and gave in. “Ok fine. There is a mech I been thinking a lot about lately. We kinda had an awkward first meeting but something about him made my spark skip a beat.” Nightshade pulled Remedy out of the bar and grabbed her shoulder. “Tell me who it is already!” Remedy took a deep breath and told Nightshade the whole thing. “It’s Drift, but it’s just a crush, a phase nothing more. I told you I can’t do relationships anymore, not after all the pain they’ve caused me.”

Later that night on the opposite side of the Lost Light Rodimus was going over some things with Drift. “So Magnus was saying we should stop at this next planet, no idea what the name of it is but- Drift are you even listening?” Drift had been in a daze the entirety Rodimus was speaking to him. He had been doing this a lot recently and it was starting to get on Rodimus’ nerves. “What’s with you lately, you’re constantly zoning out and ignoring everyone. Drift? DRIFT?!” Drift was pulled from his thoughts from Rodimus’ sudden outburst. “I’m sorry, I just can’t stop thinking about her.” Rodimus gave a questioning look to the ex con. “Who? If there’s someone keeping you from listening to me I’m gonna have a serious talk with them.” Drift sighed and decided to just come clean about the whole thing.

“It’s Remedy, we became friends but I think I like her more than that.” Rodimus simply sat there with his helm on his servo, bored out of his processor as Drift continued talking. “She’s sweet and so beautiful, she’s like an angel. When I look into her optics it’s like seeing the well of allsparks.” Rodimus let out an annoyed groan. “Yeah she’s very hot, funny you mention her because I talked to her over at Swerve’s and I asked her if she had any sort of feelings for anyone.” Drift tilted his helm slightly. “What did she say? did she say who she liked? who is it?” Rodimus leaned back in his chair and thought for a moment. “She didn’t say anything she just kinda got up and left. Swerve said something about her having a bunch of failed relationships and she refuses to let herself fall in love, some bullshit like that.” Drift’s expression changed from that of curiosity to sadness at this new information. “I should’ve known I wouldn’t have a chance with her, she probably wouldn’t feel the same way even if I was to tell her how I feel.”

“She’s a nurse all you gotta do is get hurt and maybe she’ll kiss you better!” Drift gave a deadpan look, he couldn’t believe Rodimus would suggest something so dumb, actually he could believe it. “Ok how about when we get to this next planet you ask her to go check it out with you, Magnus said It’s supposedly full of glowing flowers and amazing scenery. Swerve said she’s obsessed with beautiful scenery, he says despite her not looking for love around here she’s a hopeless romantic.” Drift let his thoughts take over, the kind of thoughts he had been experiencing a lot lately, Thoughts of He and Remedy walking servo in servo, looking into each other’s optics whispering sweet nothings to each other. He wanted no more than to just be with Remedy and make her happy. Seeing her smile made his spark jump and he wished he could see that smile forever. Her caring nature, how she saved the life of a Decepticon knowing it was wrong, she didn’t judge she simply saw someone in need and helped them. She was perfect in every way in his optics, he would one day ask her to be his sparkmate.

“When will we be arriving at this planet?” Rodimus was busy etching little doodles on the top of his desk but suddenly spoke. “I don’t know maybe 5 days or maybe even a week? You know me I barely pay attention to anything Ultra Magnus says. If I were you, I would talk to Remedy but play it cool, be smooth about it femmes love a smooth talking mech.” Drift looked over at Rodimus with skepticism clear on his face. “You’re a smooth talker and you’re still single.” Rodimus looked slightly hurt by that statement. “This isn’t about me, this is about you! Also before you ask Remedy out, you may wanna talk to Ratchet about it.” Drift gave a confused look. Rodimus simply gave a sly smirk. “Apparently Ratchet has known Remedy since she was a sparkling, he practically raised her so he’s basically like her sire. I bet he’s like one of those “dads” like they have on earth, the ones who tell guys they’re not allowed to date their daughter or whatever. Ratchet might throw a wrench at you if you ask Remedy out.” Rodimus then started laughing at the thought of Ratchet beating the shit out any mech who dares to ask out his adopted daughter.

Drift decided to take Rodimus’ advice and talk to Ratchet seeing as how he knew Remedy better than anyone else. He couldn’t help but worry that Ratchet might get angry at him for wanting to ask Remedy out, sure Ratchet had a bit of a temper at times but surely he wouldn’t actually hurt someone without a good reason. Drift stood outside the medbay contemplating wether or not he should go through with it or not, the thought of being told he can’t be with the one bot he so dearly cared about began to eat away at his spark. After a few moments he walked inside the large room. “Ratchet, there’s something I need to ask you.” Ratchet looked up from what he was doing. “What is it Drift I’m a little busy at the moment, Remedy needed a break so I told her to go get some rest.”

Drift stood there fidgeting with his digits, he thought about simply walking away but decided to just go through with it. “Ratchet, I was wondering if it would be alright if I asked Remedy out.” Ratchet looked up from his work with questioning look on his face. “Not sure why you’re asking my permission, Remedy is a full grown femme she can make her own decisions, I just don’t want her dating Rodimus.” Drift let out a relived sigh, at least he wouldn’t have to face being hit with a wrench. “I must warn you Drift that Remedy can be rather stubborn, when she wants something she’ll do whatever it takes to get it. She won’t back down from any conflict, she’s strong headed so if you and her get in an argument just save yourself the trouble and tell her she’s always right.” Drift nodded and thanked Ratchet before leaving the medbay to go recharge, tomorrow he would ask Remedy out on a date.

[marvel-lucy]

The Walking Disaster, chapter 6

This went a bit awry, it was supposed to feature a naked Steve thanks to @amandarosemire but that’ll have to wait until chapter 7 because, like the main character, I don’t know when to shut up.  Sorry. Please note, gif is actually plot-relevant!

All chapters are on the Walking Disaster Masterlist

Sometimes you just have to own it. Hold your arms up to the universe and say ‘yes this is me. I’m the one who didn’t think to open her door and walk down the hall, but instead teetered along a rusty fire escape then fell face first through the window of my crush. Hi. Nice to meet you.’

It takes a moment to sink in, what he’s said. I gawp down at the keys in my hand, the window, and Steve’s face, as he struggles to catch his breath, then it hits, and I giggle, then I snigger, then I see Steve crack up again and I let out an undignified snort and lose it.  It’s not even that funny but there are days when the stars align and something ridiculous becomes the thing that will make you laugh randomly in a library three months later when it pops into your head. This was one of those times.

Eventually of course, we get to the gasping stage, then the hiccupping stage, then the sort of awkward sigh, then we’re both sitting there on the floor. I’d like to say we then start talking, move in together, and have adorable children, but instead I stand up and smile.

‘So, thanks for letting me use your apartment. I won’t say it’s not a regular occurrence, locking myself out, but I promise not to climb through your window more than, say, once a week?’

‘Mi ventana es tu ventana.’ Oh, he speaks Spanish. Nope, that does make him at all 100% sexier, definitely not. Oh Dios mío…

I pick up my bag, and he kindly picks up my basket so I can open my door with my keys, trying to pretend I can’t see him grinning as I do.  Once I’m inside my apartment, I sort of give him a wave, and start to shut the door, when he puts his arm out, and stops it.

‘Um, would you want to get a coffee later?’

I blink, completely stupefied. Mr Beautiful is asking the perfect storm of caffeine-tsunamis for a coffee?

‘Never mind, sorry, don’t worry…’ he backs away, cheeks flushed, and I realise I’ve paused too long.

‘No, wait, Steve. Yeah, that’d be nice. Just maybe bring an umbrella, just in case?’

If you saw the way his face lit up, you’d almost believe he really wants to spend time with me. Maybe he just needs me to sign some disclaimer before he uploads the video somewhere.  He gives me a kind of thumbs up, says ‘half an hour?’ and disappears back into his apartment.

I am not getting my hopes up. I am not. The fact I spend 15 minutes of the next half an hour sorting through my laundry for the right ‘it’s Sunday and I’ve made no effort, but I just look this cute anyway!’ outfit is irrelevant. It turns out I don’t own that anyway. I own work clothes (boring, corporate-y, need ironing) and non-work clothes (comfy, stretchy, probably also need ironing but don’t get it).  I pick the least worst, and text Nat. Then I spend another 5 minutes trying to arrange my hair to cover my eyebrow, but in a sexy peekaboo way. What I manage is to look as if I’ve glued my bangs to my eyelid with hair gel.  Because I have.  Then I text Nat again. Then I spend another five minutes scrubbing my hair with a wash cloth to get the gel out, and then rubbing it with a towel so it does look wet, then combing it and praying. Then I text Nat. The last five minutes is spent putting my shoes on (the right feet), texting Nat, finding my purse (in the fridge), texting Nat, pacing up and down fanning myself so I don’t look red, texting Nat, and then opening the door to Steve’s knock, with my best casual ‘oh I’ve just been reading Dostoevsky for the last 30 minutes, how about you?’ nonchalant look.  Nailed it.  Then my phone beeps 12 times as Nat replies to all my texts. Too late to check now, I just have to hope that all her advice over the last ten years of friendship has sunk in.

I walk down the stairs with Steve, and try to remember what Nat’s said in the past. There was a lot of ‘be yourself, you’re great’ which is obviously no help.  I remember ‘you’re lovely’ and ‘people like you because you’re funny and sweet’ and Jesus, has she never given me ANYthing I could use? Like, how to be her? Because that’s what I need now. I’ll just have to wing it.

We make that awkward conversation about the weather, and laundry and so on, on the walk. I want to say something funny about keys and windows and fire escapes, but I’m channeling Nat, all mysterious and sexy. I try raising one eyebrow in a knowing way, like she does, but then I remember that eyebrow is missing, so the effect is probably a little less than appealing. Then I try raising the other eyebrow, but as it turns out, I can’t get it to go up. Then I realise what I’m actually doing is randomly opening my eyes wide, and wrinkling my nose. Look you try it. Try raising one eyebrow if you can’t. See how you look. Now imagine the look on Steve’s face as he watches this. We haven’t even made it to the coffee shop and already I can see the regret in his eyes.

I try to pretend I’m just about to sneeze, and work on keeping my face very still, then realise I can’t remember what faces do normally. It’s like when you try and think about how much eye contact to make, it all goes wrong. You either stare, unblinking, or else you fixate on someone’s chin and they keep trying to duck their heads to meet your eyes… you know… don’t you?  Anyway, by now conversation has died out completely and I can’t remember how faces work. So it’s kind of inevitable when Steve and I reach the coffee shop that he looks at me a bit strangely.

‘Um, are you OK? If you don’t want a coffee, you can just say, I’m just… not sure what your expressions mean…’ I sigh. I need Nat’s advice before I screw this up.

‘No, I do want to be here. I was trying to raise one eyebrow in an intriguing manner, but I couldn’t, so I tried the other, but then I realised I was being weird, and then I forgot what faces were supposed to do…’ I tail off. This is not helping me look normal.

‘Oh like when you forget how much eye contact to make?’

‘YES!’ I feel my shoulders, and my frozen face, relax. ‘Yes, Nat thought I was weird when I said I couldn’t remember, but it’s not just me!’ Steve’s face relaxes too, now he realises I’m not ‘wish I wasn’t here weird’ but just regular weird.

‘Yeah, I once screwed up a job interview because I was so intent on not staring, that I forgot to make any eye contact, and instead spoke entirely to a spot over the interviewer’s shoulder. She kept turning around to look, and I may have convinced her that her office was haunted…’

Oh god, can this man be any more perfect? This kinda breaks the ice, I have to admit. Can it be that Captain Fantastic is… a bit weird?

He takes my coffee order, and joins the line, so I go and grab a table, and use the opportunity to read Nat’s texts.

Me: Help, Steve’s asked me out for coffee after I crawled through his window (don’t ask) and how can I be cool and sexy like you so he falls for me? Go!

Nat: You crawled through his window?

Nat: Just be you! He wouldn’t have asked you for coffee if he didn’t like you

Nat: Just don’t tell him weird medical stories. Save that for date 2

Nat: Because this is date 1. Fact

Nat: Bucky agrees

Nat: I’m with Bucky. He says Steve asking someone for coffee is A BIG DEAL

Nat: Don’t try and be me. You’re great

Nat: Bucky says I’m great

Nat: I have SO much to tell you

Nat: Bucky says I can’t tell you. I’ll kill him first then tell you

Nat: Anyway, gotta go. Stuff to do. By stuff I mean Bucky

Nat: BE YOURSELF. You’re a gorgeous lovely person. Love ya

Fat lot of use that is. I mean, Steve asking me for coffee being a big deal is kinda cute and I can feel my insides go a little smushy, but basically what I get from this is Nat’s too busy canoodling to help out. ‘Be yourself’. Pfft. Thanks a bunch.

A coffee appears on the table, and I look up to see Steve sitting opposite me.

‘Everything OK?’

‘Yeah, Nat. She’s with Bucky?’

Oh god, please don’t let her ask me loads of questions about Bucky. Let me pretend for an hour that she’s not interested in him, please?

‘Ah yeah, I got a bunch of texts from him last night extolling her virtues. I told him I’d block his number if he carried on. You known her long?’

Oh god, please don’t let him be another one of those guys who wants to get to know me, to get to know Nat. Let me pretend for an hour that he’s not interested in her, please?

‘Ten years. Since uni.’ I keep it short, I don’t want to be drawn into a conversation about Nat’s favourite things and where she likes to hang out and could I just put in a good word? Apparently some days I walk around with a Nat Signal shining out of me. Ha. Nat Signal. Get it? There’s a bit of a pause in our conversation and for a moment I wonder if I said that out loud.

Steve takes a sip of his iced coffee, and I take a sip of my hot coffee. Carefully. Then lower it down to the table with extreme precision.  When the cup is safely down, I give myself a little nod of approval, and look up to see Steve grinning. He mimes giving me a round of applause, and I bow. I feel so… happy.

‘So is there a reason you were trying to raise an eyebrow intriguingly? I’m intrigued.’

‘Ah, well this is where I should come up with something cute and also convincing to say, but to be honest, my brain doesn’t work that fast, and I’ll only come up with something an hour later, which is apparently called l’esprit de l’escalier in French, which means something like coming up with a witty reply half way down the stairs, and anyway, I’ve been talking this whole time to try and give my brain time to come up with something but ‘ve got nothing but the truth, so I’ll go with that, which is that I was trying to be as cool as Nat is, and she does this thing with her eyebrow that makes her look mysterious even when it really just means she wasn’t listening, but apparently my face doesn’t do that. So there’s that.’

Too much? Possibly.

‘Trepverter’

I look blank.

‘Trepverter. Staircase words. Yiddish for the same as that French you said. But… why were you trying to look like Nat?’

‘Ah.’ I take a sip of my coffee again and encourage my brain to run up and down some stairs to come up with a convincing reply. Shuffle around in my chair a bit. ‘Would you believe me if I said I was auditioning for a community theatre role as… Nat.’  He raises his eyebrow sarcastically.

‘Oh great, so you can do it too!’ I point, then contort my face in an attempt to copy it, but my brows are still firmly set. At least I won’t need botox when I’m older since apparently my face doesn’t move.

‘So?’  Damn, I thought he’d forgotten.  I sigh.

‘Nat’s so cool. Everyone likes her, she’s all enigmatic and serene. I was just trying to be a bit more like her, so you’d like me.’ Those last three words are said into my coffee cup, quietly, in the hope they’re not noticed. Between the mumbling into cappuccino, and the woosh of the coffee shop, I might get away with it.  I risk a look up, over the rim of my cup which is still held up to my face.  Steve’s looking puzzled.

‘But I d…’

It’s possible he was going to say ‘I do like you’. It’s not that out there right? I mean, it could have been ‘but I don’t like you’, sure. It could have been ‘but I dance flamenco on Tuesdays’ or ‘but I do fondue’ but he could have been going to say he liked me.  But the man sitting at the table behind me took that moment to stand up.  He shoved his chair back a little too vigorously, which hit the back of my chair, which knocked me forwards, which threw my cup of coffee – please note, not just the coffee, but the cup - across the table, which hit Steve full force in the nose. His voice stopped and the cup clattered to the table, and coffee dripped slowly down his shirt as a red line swelled across his nose.

And that’s the story of why I’m never drinking coffee again. Because 2 out of 2 times, it’s not ended well for me and Steve. 100% failure rate.

Like I say, Starbucks employees are really nice at giving you ice for your injuries. So we walk back to the apartment, with Steve clutching a bag of ice to his nose and I say sorry in every way I can think of but he’s really quiet and I’ve completely arsed it up again, haven’t I?

She wants me to like her? Why would she want me to like her if she likes Bucky? Does she want me to put in a good word? Wait, what if… no… she can’t like me? Crap, my nose really hurts…

---

@melconnor2007 @avengerscompound @kittyslove @badassbaker@phoenix21love @lbouvet  @bellenuit45 @prplprincez @gingerrootknits@pineapplebooboo @feelmyroarrrr @avengerofyourheart @eyeofdionysus @hellomissmabel @learisa @mitra-k-w @imhereforbvcky @shaddixlife @supernatural-girl97 @iwillbeinmynest @amrita31199 @algud @whatsbetterthanfantasy @pixierox101 @edward-lover18 @madcheshire89 @heartfulloffandoms @chipilerendi @kenya-17 @mckorni32843 @amandarosemire @rda89 @nyxveracity @sea040561 @mrsalh32611 @ruinerofcheese @callmebucky-doll @vintagepigeon @bubbasmom @sassycanoodler @ladylorelitany @natcad @thisismysecrethappyplace @geeksareunique @mywinterwolf  @moderapoppins @rinthehufflepuff @holyfuckloueh @onebatch--twobatch @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @patzammit @procrastinatingart1st

[cyn2k]

Sherlock Fic Recs (mostly lesser-known)

All right, I’ve recommended individual fics from time to time,and I certainly reblog fic rec lists, but this is the first time I’ve tried to assemble a Sherlock rec list of my own. I’m trying to select stories I’ve not seen often (or ever) on other lists for this, and they are in no particular order. Mind the tags. Nearly all are end-game Johnlock, although a couple are more gen.

Since this is my first time writing a fic rec list, please let me know if you enjoyed it.

A Telling Touch - by MikayoToudaiji, 91K, E, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson 

Post-Reichenbach. After Sherlock’s death, John manages to get himself re-enlisted and is sent back to war. But when two series of gruesome murders link home and outland together, John is suddenly faced with more battles than he could have imagined. A Reunion, multi-chapter, case fic.

This is one of my go-to fics. John is grieving the loss of Sherlock and back in the army, this time in Syria, courtesy of Mycroft, when he is called home due to the mysterious death of Irene Adler. Irene was the latest victim of a serial killer, but she has managed to leave John a mysterious message. Sherlock does eventually return, but badly injured. There’s a fascinating case fic, a very different and totally platonic Mary Morstan, Sebastian Moran makes an appearance, and a Mummy Holmes who’s absolutely lovely. I find this story so emotionally rewarding, on many levels.

Follow My Voice - by flawedamythyst, 9K, T, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson

Sherlock's voice is all John has.

John is in a coma, and his only link back to the world is Sherlock’s voice. Told mostly from John’s perspective, the payoff when John finally wakes up is lovely.

Meeting Clara - by BlueSkye12, 2K, G, no pairings (pre-Johnlock, perhaps, if you squint)

John and Sherlock have a chance meeting with John's former sister-in-law and Sherlock learns a thing or two about John's return from Afghanistan.

Sherlock learns exactly how much damage John suffered from the bullet that brought him to London and that fateful meeting at St. Bart’s. Clara is very protective of John, even if he’s no longer her brother-in-law.

Bitter Sweet - by distantstarlight, 17K, E, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson

Alpha John Watson is a retired army doctor with a chance to acquire an omega mate. He meets the most unusual omega he’s ever encountered.

A somewhat unusual take on A/B/O dynamics, where alphas need to have a use in life, either with a satisfactory career or as a parent to the next generation. Omegas, including Sherlock, are bought at auction, which some may find disturbing, but there’s no indications of maltreatment on anyone’s part. It’s Sherlock who has all the power in this relationship, although he’s deleted the reasons why. John may have to pay the price for that.

The Art of Seduction series - by flawedamythyst, 97K across 6 works, T to E, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Sherlock Holmes/Jim Moriarty, Sherlock Holmes/many OMCs, John Watson/OMC, Mycroft Holmes/Greg Lestrade

Sherlock ran a website called The Science Of Seduction, on which he gave advice on the best ways to get laid, wrote blog entries detailing the results of his various sexual 'experiments' and generally contributed to the stereotype of 'every gay man is a sex-mad playboy'. John avoided the thing like the plague. AU in which Sherlock treats sex like he does crime in canon. Inspired by Queer As Folk UK, but it very quickly went its own way.

I love this series. Sherlock is obsessed, not with crime, but with sex. John is his flatmate and pretty much the only gay man in London with whom Sherlock has not slept. John pines, Sherlock sleeps with most of gay London, and they all go dancing every weekend. Then Jim shows up and ruins everything. Or does he?

Semper Fidelis - by Blind_Author, 57K, M, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Mycroft Holmes/Anthea

Written for a prompt. Moriarty frames John and "Anthea" of betrayals which cause both of the Holmes brothers to cut them off. Cue BAMF!John and BAMF!"Anthea" doing their best to clear their names.

John and Anthea go on the run after they are both framed the same day. They protect one another and bond over the idiocy of their respective Holmeses. Both are in established, if hidden, relationships. They bond while on the run.

Evidence of Human Life - by thesardine, 17K, E, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson

Sherlock's sanity deteriorates while he and John are stranded on a deserted island.

I basically summed this up in my personal bookmark as: Sherlock and John on a deserted island. They hunt seals, Sherlock periodically goes nuts, and they start having sex.   

This Doesn’t Feel Like Falling - by Dark3Star, 148K, E, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, pre Mycroft Holmes/Greg Lestrade

When he fell from St. Barts, Sherlock knew he loved John Watson. John couldn't love him back (or so he thinks). Now that he's back from the dead things are back to normal... sort of. When a serial killer targets increasingly high profile gay couples Sherlock is on the case. With a, possibly ill-advised, plan Sherlock and John go undercover as a couple to uncover the truth.

Part 1 of a series, although this is by far the largest part.  Your classic “married for a case” trope, taken to the extreme. There’s a decent case fic, a lot of mutual pining, and some interesting wedding planning. Heed the warnings, there are some pretty graphic depictions of violence when they finally confront the murderer.

The Secret Identity of John Watson - by scifigrl47, 27K, G, John Watson/OFC (but don’t let that scare you!)

Taken out of context, John Watson leads a terrifying life. You have to wonder what those poor women he dates thinks of it, especially if John decides to try keeping one away from Sherlock, and Sherlock decides that it'd be best if he could get rid of her. After all, Mycroft's taught him a thing or two about removing potential 'problems.'

Told from the point of view of the bank girl John saves and then dates. Guys, I am a total Johnlock shipper, and so is everyone else in this crack-fest, although they aren’t actually together. Samantha and her girlfriends are an absolute riot, and their impressions of both John and Sherlock are hysterical.

Small Steps - by crossroadrain, 16K, unrated, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson

"It's John's birthday and all his army buddies have got him a prostitute for a laugh.

A/B/O fic, where Sherlock is an unwilling omega stripper hired to entertain for John’s birthday get-together with a bunch of his army buddies. When John takes him aside to protect him from his army buddies, he learns something more is going on. The writing is a little uneven, because the writer is not a native English speaker, but the story is quite good.

Endings - by Purple_Slippers_18, 3K, T, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson

Fifty years. Eighteen thousand two hundred and sixty two days. It was a long time to be alive, never mind the thirty-four years Sherlock had breathed before he'd met John, which the man in question most certainly did not. As far as Sherlock was concerned, his life – the one whose memories he hoarded like a dragon protecting caverns of stolen gold – began on that serendipitous January afternoon when two strangers met in the research labs at St. Bart's.

Not for those who can’t deal with MCD or find assisted suicide disturbing, but they’re so in love here. Retirement!Lock.

Body Language - by CeruleanDarkangelis,2K, T Sherlock Holmes/John Watson

There is a language to dancing; a call-and-response from one body to another. Even with the poncy kind of dancing I knew he was versed in, the kind that requires classes and counting and rules, there is communication between bodies. Watching him now, I’m more than pleased to discover that he understands my dialect as well.

This is just 2K of absolutely hot dancing seduction. There’s a follow-up fic, Touch Me, about what happens when they get home

Blind series - by inspiration_assaulted, 19K across 3 works, G to T, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson

Lt John Watson, 25, will do just about anything to stay in the Army, even if it means marrying a man he's never met. It's only for two years, and he'll probably be in Afghanistan the whole time. How much can his life really change?

Mycroft arranges a marriage between Sherlock and John, allowing John to stay in the army and Sherlock to pay for rehab. They write each other letters, but have never met. I originally read this story on FF.net and loved it. I was delighted to find it on AO3, which is easier on my eyes.

Words of One Syllable and At A Loss- GwendolynnFiction, 101K across 2 works on FF.net, M, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson

The landmine at Baskerville leaves Sherlock deafened. Unable to stand living without his friend John agrees to learn to sign, but foreign languages cannot be learned in a void. Sherlock helps John learn to sign by finally learning to talk to him.

This was one of my early favorites when I first started reading Sherlock stories on fanfiction.net. The author has slightly different versions up on AO3, but I find these much more enjoyable, as their relationship just seems to work better. The followup story is what happens during the Moriarty trial and after the fall, when Sherlock has to return unexpectedly after John goes missing.

The Otter and the Hedgehog - by Trinity Fire, 23K on FF.net, T, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Mycroft Holmes/Greg Lestrade.

Just when John and Sherlock think they have time to rest after a case, they get an unexpected surprise... Unexpected, yes, and fluffy!

This is a little uneven, and has a very awkward, very weird self-insert OC, but Sherlock the otter wandering around the flat tucking John the hedgehog into his scarf to carry him everywhere is just too cute!

Letters to a Soldier - by Pakmai, 70K on FF.net, T, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson

Captain John Watson is a soldier in Afghanistan. Sherlock Holmes has just been admitted to a drug rehab facility, assigned to write a letter to an unknown soldier. He doesn't expect to get a letter back from someone as interesting as John. John doesn't expect to get letter from a recovering drug addict. Together they form an unlikely friendship through letters.

I’ll admit, it’s been a while since I read this one, but this series turned me into a big fan of epistolary fics. The follow-up fic, Letters to a High-Functioning Sociopath, finished after I’d stopped reading regularly on FF, so I admit I don’t know how the series ended.

Flare - by iMusicalMinji, 6K on FF.net, T, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson

John has a lot to learn about an elusive species when he ends up living with one. Like how he doesn't have to change under a full moon, how he is fireproof even if he cannot breathe fire himself, and how he loves the doctor. MythicalCreature!AU

A sweet dragon!Lock story, with some parental elements. Sherlock’s hoard made me laugh, and then I thought about it and it made sense. 

[asking-jude]

Hi! I’m in a bit of a difficult situation. I’m a rising sophomore in high school and I live with my family. For the past year, I’ve been seeing my school psychologist because I’m struggling with extreme social anxiety. She recommended I go see an actual counselor because her schedule is very full (and what she suggests usually doesn’t help too much anyways). I told my parents about this and they really don’t want me to get professional help unless I’m cutting or suicidal. (1)

(ask continued) …They don’t see my pain as real. To top it off, I identify as bisexual and my parents would not be accepting if I were to come out. They often make fun of LGBTQ+ people and say that bisexual people are “confused”. I feel like seeing a counselor would be beneficial to me, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to. Is there any advice you have for me? Thank you so much!!!

Are you familiar with the expression “An ounce of prevention is worth pounds of cures?” Because that’s what’s happening here; you want to get help before things get really bad, but your parents don’t understand that. Here’s a good way to look at it; people usually fail to see warning signs unless they are as blatant as the ones you described because they just don’t take them seriously. 

Tell your parents that you don’t want to hit that point so you want to get help now. Your school psychologist can’t give you the help you need and she even suggested you go to a regular counselor. What if this was your pediatrician giving you this advice? Would your parents deny it because you’re “not that bad?” Trust me, they’d be a lot less likely to deny that advice if it came from your pediatrician.

What you’re talking about is the “not sick enough” stigma; this is the idea that unless you’re about to off yourself, you don’t need help and are whiny and seeking attention. This complete invalidation paves the way to cutting and suicide! You even touched on it in your post; your parents would completely invalidate your identity and make things worse. Guess what? The LGBT+ community has higher rates of mental illness, substance abuse, and suicide than the straight population. Now you know why.

You should follow your school psychologist’s advice and get help. If your parents won’t help, get the school and any other responsible family members on your side. I suggest looking up Pride Counseling because their specialty is working with members of the LGBT+ community. If that’s out of your price range, see if your school has ideas or if Captain Awkward’s site has anything. 

In the meantime, see if your school has some sort of GSA or pride club to join. Tumblr has tons of bi positivity blogs to follow who can offer some much-needed validation and humor. I know this because I am a fellow bisexual and I follow a bunch of these. Why not also reach out to the people of Reddit’s /r/bisexual?

High school is hard enough without mental health issues. You deserve to get help. Your problems are valid and so is your pain.

Hugs and bi puns,

Angelica Barile

Asking Jude needs YOUR help! Donate pocket change here and save our safe space.

[existentialterror]

A humble compendium of asexual dating advice

Happy asexual awareness week! I’ve been aware of (my) asexuality for 2.5 years now and am currently happily dating a couple very wonderful gentlemen. I’ve been asked for advice, and it’s also come up at ace meetups. While I can’t speak for everyone, I’m going to write what advice I would have liked to hear. Maybe you’ll find it useful too. For seeking out potential partners, I’m going to assume that you want to find a broad dating pool, and also that you want to avoid unnecessarily painful rejection. Some rejection is going to happen and in fact will always happen in any dating situation, of course. But while being ace is nothing to be ashamed of and isn’t something terrible you have to “warn” a potential partner about, there are a lot of very nice people who are just incompatible with ace partners, and our goal is A) for you to be happy, and B) for you and them to realize this incompatibility as early on as possible.

Online dating sites

I’d find the biggest dating platform in your region among the age demographic you’re looking at. As you might imagine, being in a big city or being open to long-distance dating helps. For a lot of places, that platform is OKcupid. Here’s my strategy:

Mark yourself as “asexual” in addition to other relevant romantic preferences.

Then, mention it again in the text of your profile. Asexuality is an umbrella term, so quickly describe what that implies for dating you. I like the phrasing “I identify as X, which for me means...” (This tip brought to you by several iterations of refining my okc profile, interspersed with new dates gradually getting less confused about what my actual preferences were. Trial and error: it works!)

After this, you can sort matches by asexuality. But there are also people who aren’t ace, but wouldn’t mind dating an ace person. I recommend the Chrome plugin “OkCupid (for the non-mainstream user).” Among other settings, it has an “asexual-friendly” setting that filters through a person’s question for ones relevant to ace dating, and shows you their answers on their profile page. Turn this one on and leave it on.

Click and message away!

Oh, yeah, especially if you’re a lady, you are probably going to get some sexual messages anyways, and you might get some messages asking you about the ace thing. All I can say is use that block/report button liberally, or just ignore them. (Screenshot the really weird ones to show your friends for a good horrified laugh. And then report the senders.) You can respond to anything if you want, but even if someone’s apparently completely nice and polite and is just curious about how the ace thing works, you still don’t have to respond to them - that’s not what you’re here for. There are also some ace-specific dating websites. I think the idea is neat, but haven’t tried any, and every ace person I’ve talked about them has said the same thing, but maybe you’ll be the first.

If you’re not sure how to describe yourself, I endorse this mindset about orientation labels being about communicating preferences. You might find it helpful too.

In person You can ask people out in person too! You don’t have to disclose being ace on the first date or anything, if sexual preferences haven’t come up. That said, I recommend getting it out there early on - see “The talk” later down.

If there’s a social or friend group you might want to date in, and the circumstances are right - the group is at least somewhat LGBTQ+ and/or sex positive, etc - maybe try to have it be known that you’re ace. It’s not a big deal, and it’s a reasonable thing to bring up if the conversation turns to sex, dating, etc. I like it because it’s an extra screening measure - if people approach you for dating, they’re more likely to have a sense of what’s in store. Even if they don’t know, a lot of dating starts with people telling their close friends that they’re crushing on so-and-so or “who is that, they’re so cute”. Even if the person gushing doesn’t know, their close friend might know and be able to tell them. Also, being visibly ace is pretty cool, and you might be able to help other people come to important realizations about themselves.

Polyamory

Obviously not for everyone, but if you think polyamory sounds interesting and there’s a local poly community (or you’re connected to ones via friends, internet, w/e), it might be worth checking it out. This can expand your dating pool - there are lots of people who dislike the idea of not having sex, but are more than willing to date people who don’t want to have sex, if they can get sex elsewhere. I also suspect poly communities also tend to be more aware of and cool with LGBTQ-ness and unusual preferences about sex, like not having it, but YMMV. If there are meetups around, or places where the poly people congregate, it might be worth going as a social adventure and seeing if the people there seem like the kind of people you can hang with. Poly dating is like normal dating, but a little weirder because we don’t have all the cultural scripts for things like “when do you tell a partner you’re dating someone else” or “what kind of small talk do I make with my metamour”. In general, communicate and be kind. I like the books More Than Two and The Ethical Slut. (I do worry there’s a minority of aces out there who really aren’t into to the idea of polyamory, but think it’s the only way they can date without ‘inflicting’ themselves on sexual people, and I want to be clear that if this describes you: hang on, don’t do polyamory, and look around some more. There are lovely people out there who will be thrilled to date just you, and it’s worth taking the time to find them.)

“The talk” At some point, you are probably going to want to have some kind of actual conversation in which you say you are asexual and what that implies for dating you. This might not be necessary if you’ve already talked about asexuality a bunch, but even if you think the other person knows, or it was on your dating profile so they really ought to know, have it anyways. They might actually not know, or they might have questions. It’ll also open up the floor for any concerns, and ensure that everyone is on the same page. I recommend doing this early on, when the stakes are low and both of you are still feeling things out. My guess is that it’s slightly better to have this talk face-to-face, but if distance bars or if you’re very shy, I’d say 100% do it via a text medium. Especially if you’re worried they’ll be weird about it. It’ll give you the space to choose your words carefully, and it’ll also mean you’re more likely to get a response that’s more thought out and truer to what the other person actually thinks, rather than their immediate first reaction. Fortunately, after this, you won’t have to talk about all this awkward boundary stuff again. Just kidding.

All the talks that come after

You have to keep talking about comfort and boundaries and what you want. This definitely isn’t ace specific. We’re messy people with bodies and lives. The edges of my comfort zone have changed over time, maybe from person to person as well, and they might for you too. Your partner will have them as well, even if they’re not ace. I have this sense that society has sort of a pattern of what a typical romantic or sexual encounter looks like - what kind of touching or contact happens, in what order, over what timeline - and that if that’s what you both want, you don’t have to talk about it much, but if you want something else, you have to clearly explain what that is. Maybe I’m wrong and nobody’s dating actually looks like the first case. Either way, once I’m getting physical with people I’m dating, even after we’ve had the “yes I’m ace” talk, they or I generally start another, more practical talk. I always feel like these talks are a little bit like pulling teeth, but even if you feel that way too, they’re good to have. There are some things that don’t naturally come up (or get remembered) long before you get physical, but that it makes sense to establish early on in the process:

Places on your body you don’t want touched

Activities or escalations you definitely don’t want to do right now

Kinds of sensation or touch you don’t like

Kinds of sensation or touch you do like

Ask your partner what their answers are too. They might be like “I’m up for anything” or they might not be. (Particularly if they’re ace too!) While I remember boundaries, I tend to forget the answer to “what kind of touch do you specifically enjoy” right after a cuddle session, and have to re-derive it from experimental evidence, at which point it sticks. I wish everyone had secret google docs about their gushy physical preferences for their dates to refer to. This is a tangent but I think it’s a great idea. Anyway, note is that you don’t have to precisely define all of your preferences right now in this conversation - you’re just giving them a road map for right now. You’ll keep having versions of it as things come up - “little to the left, ooh I’m ticklish there, not good”. It’s also reasonable to lay out some broad boundaries or preferences and then be like “okay, explore.” Expressing a positive response to your partner doing something nice (”that feels amazing”, etc) is highly recommended. Tips -

This article from Captain Awkward is not quite about this topic, but it’s relevant and sweet and powerful. You’re going to keep talking about preferences and boundaries and desires as long as you’re romancing, so you’ll figure it out.

If you’re up for it, giving each other back massages is good and classic practice for communicating your desires about touch.

Make sure you’re enjoying things and don’t have reservations

Finally, as things go, check in with yourself and/or the other person. Are you enjoying things? Are they enjoying things? Does anything feel off? To ask yourself: Do you feel safe, respected, and happy? If your boundaries are being disrespected or criticized, or you find yourself being talked into things you don’t enjoy, get out of there. If you’re just not enjoying yourself, or something feels strange or bad, still consider getting out of there - you don’t need an airtight reason - or at least talking to the other person. You deserve to be enthusiastic and happy about a relationship! If the other person rejects you and it’s because of the asexuality

I’m sorry, I’ve been there and it sucks. Maybe you're into someone and they just can’t do relationships without sex (or whatever - some fundamental preference incompatibility.) Maybe they can do ace relationships sometimes, but not right now, or not with you. Maybe that’s not even the real reason, but asexuality felt to them like an acceptable, no-one’s-fault reason to offer, so that’s what they told you. (Rejection is by no means an ace-specific phenomenon, but I think it feels worse when it’s pointed at something you knew was going to make dating hard, or part of your identity, or something you’re already a little unsure about. I don’t know if this is universal, but when a relationship is going south, I sometimes catch myself wondering if I should offer to start having sex with them. “If I do, they might like me more, or get back together with me, or spend more time with me, and it wouldn’t be that bad, and...”

And here’s the thing: every single time I think that, that’s my brain trying to solve the wrong problem. It probably wouldn’t work, plus I’d be miserable, and I should not do the thing. I’m not going to say this is 100% always true for you too, but if you start wondering the above, I invite you to STRONGLY CONSIDER that your brain is lying to you. Your boundaries are important and meaningful and you don’t need to compromise on them.) Ultimately, whether it was kind or not, they don’t want to date you, and there’s nothing you can do to change that. Sit tight, feel your feelings, take care of yourself. You didn’t do anything wrong by being asexual or by having a boundary. Once you feel like it, dust yourself off and get out there again.

Finally, of course, your worth and your happiness don’t depend on you dating anyone at all. But it is nice, and if you want to, you can. Good luck, fellow aces!

[loose-leaf-teacanons]

Can I have murahimu for the otp questions please? :)

Anonymous said to loose-leaf-teacanons:Would you possibly be willing to do MuraHimu? I love them so much.

1. Who liked the other first?

Mukkun, and it irks him like you wouldn’t believe. Not that he realizes what’s happening at first. He pays about as much attention to puberty and dating and crushes as he does to everything not related to his immediate interests (those being snacks, sleeping, and sometimes, maybe, very, very occasionally and just a tiny little bit, basketball), which is to say “not much”, which is to say “none at all.” 

Not to mention most of the early signs register as nothing more than a profound sense of annoyance at, well, everything. Stupid Murochin being all nice to strangers when it’s obviously Atsushi’s Murochin Time. Stupid Murochin making him care about basketball. Stupid Murochin sending him snacks from America that start doing weird things to Atsushi’s insides before they’re even out of the box. Stupid Murochin making it hard to sleep when he’s around. Stupid Murochin making it hard to sleep when he isn’t around. Stupid Murochin making him want to try harder at everything.

And it just gets worse in third year because by then stupid Murochin has graduated, and stupid Murochin’s stupid dorm is now occupied by someone else, and they’re extra stupid, and Atsushi is stupid for forgetting that sometimes and ending up there when he’s not paying attention, and stupid Murochin is no longer captain, and the new captain is super-stupid, and nobody else on the team is stupid Murochin, and that’s stupid too, and he gets stupid happy whenever stupid Murochin calls, which is also stupid, and Murochin is even more stupid for not calling more often and making Atsushi think stupid things like he’s maybe being forgotten, and urgh. Everything sucks.

I don’t even know how he’d finally figure it out without some friendly intervention because Murasakibara is so prone to wrapping himself up in sulkiness and not really thinking about why he feels what he feels, and he sucks at being honest about it, too…

Honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if his eventual confession (urged by Kuroko’s sage-voiced “But how is Himuro-san supposed to know all that when you don’t tell him, Murasakibara-kun?”) were just a long complain-y rant about how stupid and annoying Murochin is for being so far away, and how stupid and annoying it is to not see him, etc etc thank god Himuro is fluent in grumpy manchild speak because lord knows everyone else would be offended that they’re being propositioned like this. XD

2. Where is their ‘special spot’?

Whichever candy store is the closest? XD

(“That’s not what they mean by special spot, Atsushi,” says Himuro, which just gets him a blank look because isn’t the math obvious? He likes snacks, he likes Murochin, they’re currently in a location where he can have both… and Himuro just sighs fondly because this is clearly the height of romantic utterances.)

3. How do they cheer one another up?

Tbh that’s actually pretty difficult because, like I said, one of them is exceptionally bad with feelings in general and the other is bad with negative feelings pertaining to himself.

Himuro is a pretty good listener overall and likes being able to provide comfort and advice to others, but Murasakibara is such  a prickly personality that it’s often for the best to just leave him be until he comes out to seek comfort of his own accord (which mostly involves flopping into Himuro and curling up to continue being a ball of anger/upset until Himuro picks his way through a bunch of leading questions (”Do you want a hug?” – “No.” – “Do you… not want a hug?” – “No.” etc etc.) to get him to relax.

As for Murasakibara, he… well. He tries? But Himuro is a very difficult person to comfort even for someone with a specialized empathy toolset because Himuro bottles things up a lot and has even more that he doesn’t want to admit to anyone, not even to himself. And when he’s at the point where he’s showing how upset he is about something, it’s because he either wants someone to notice (rare) or because he can’t hold it in anymore (more likely).

And Mukkun is not the best at relating to other people or disentangling complicated motivations. So mostly what happens is he either tends to lean into Himuro until Himuro collapses under the added weight of 2 meters of human, which results in an awkward not!cuddle where Murasakibara sort of puts his chin on Himuro’s head and makes discontented noises until stupid Murochin relaxes, already. And then he goes around for a couple of days eyeing Himuro like a hawk and thrusting Himuro’s favorite snacks in his face (or later, making desserts for him) and somehow that works because Himuro is fluent in odd-duck comfort speak, too. XD

4. What is their favourite movie to watch together?

Himuro is pretty easy-going when it comes to movies, so it’s hard to find something he won’t watch, no matter the company. Murasakibara likes family-type movies – iirc Fujimaki even said he loves Home Alone (which makes so much sense considering he has like four older siblings XD), but you can’t tell me he doesn’t religiously watch Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs.

Later on he also gets interested in Food Network style cooking shows or documentaries like Kings of Pastry. He doesn’t mind when Murochin wants to watch something sci-fi or action-y, but he draws the line at Himuro’s love of horror movies (the gorier, the better), because that’s just gross and you are gross Murochin are you a cannibal.

5. When did they know that they are each other’s soul mate?

Pffff, no. God, no. I don’t think either believes in the concept, but even if they did, they’re about as different as two people can be, so if anything, isn’t it more noteworthy that they’re making things work despite that?

6. Where do they primarily kiss one another out in public? Examples forehead, cheek, hand etc.

Mukkun gets all tsundere about PDA, and Himuro is nothing if not someone who can wait until the perfect moment where all things are working out in his favor.

7. Who goes all out for the other person’s birthday?

XD I dunno, they’re pretty laid-back about this sort of thing and tend to organize their own birthdays. Himuro will often invite friends for a small party (which works out really well considering the bf is well on his way to being a pastry chef and his best friend can cook literally anything to perfection XD). Mukkun is more the type who gets dragged out for a small gathering or wants to “stake out” some new type of high-end café and eat all their ridiculously tiny fancy gateaux. For research. Obviously. 

8. Whose clothes are too big for the other, but they wear them anyway?

Himuro doesn’t do that very often (he’s too fashion-conscious). It’s more Murasakibara who’ll sometimes decide that “Murochin will catch a cold, he should wear this” and dump one of his giant picnic-blanket hoodies on him, and Himuro finds his irritated blushy face damnably endearing, so he does.

9. Who is the one who stays up late baking brownies and dancing in their underwear wearing a baggy shirt, and who is the one who comes down to see the other being all cute?

Even after answering this meme so many times, this question is still creepy. The ONLY part of this that I can see happening is the brownies thing because Murasakibara gets cravings at odd hours and now that he actually has the training to make his own snacks, nothing can stop him. (And then he falls asleep in front of the oven and Himuro gets woken up by the smoke alarm going off).

10. Would they cuddle even though it is super hot outside?

No. Murasakibara gets extremely cranky in the heat, not least because stupid Murochin will walk around the apartment in his underwear and constantly rub down with a damp towel and it’s too hot to do anything about that and gnarhghghgh.