#cant stop thinking about this shit and i have to sit an exam tomorrow | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

simpsiren · 4 years ago

Text

sticky notes: the story

mark lee x reader

introduction

main masterlist

description. you use sticky notes to get into contact with your soulmate.

genre. soulmate au, high school au, strangers to lovers au

warnings. nonee

a/n. so some people requested for a full story of this so here it is! i really liked making this because the concept is just so cute cudndn oh and i did include the same idea as what i did in my previous post but i had to change it a little so that it would fit the plot. this is a really really long ff since its a slow burn typa thing so please try to stick with me on this one HAHA anyways enjoyy! :D

“you actually believe that?”

you lift your head up from your notes to look at soyoung. she nods her head and hum eagerly. you rub your temples from seeing her respond. “i do believe soulmates exist. but sticky notes to talk to them? what’s social media for then? and how is it even scientifically possible?” you question soyoung, bringing your eyes down as you continue to do your homework.

“that’s the beauty of soulmates, ray!” soyoung whines. you shake your head. “you’re dumb to believe it without confirming the information with other relevant sources.” you mutter out bluntly. you hear soyoung letting out a ‘tsk’. “here you go again being a history student. i swear im glad i never took it.” you scoff and slam your pen on the table gently.

“excuse me, woman! at least i dont have to memorise the whole textbook and only having 5 pages of content coming out in the exam.” you stick your tongue out playfully to tease soyoung. “i cant get over the fact that valcanos didn’t come out eventhough i memorised so much for it.”

the both of you laugh, knowing that the two of you can never stop debating on whether history or geography is the better subject.

“ray complete your homework at home. we cant stay in the classroom for long you know?” soyoung stands up to get to her seat, which is 2 rows down yours since you were sitting right at the back. you liked sitting at the back. it allowed you to always be able to use your phone in case you get bored in class. you still cant believe that your teachers think you’re a good and obedient student. you figured they only assumed that due to your high grades.

you sigh “that’s true.” you turn around to grab your back that was hanging in your chair and start packing your materials. once you were done, you grab the class key and walk over to soyoung’s seat, waiting for her to finish packing. you notice soyoung has finish packing and went to switch off the lights. you allow soyoung to step out first before you close the door behind you and lock the classroom door.

you and soyoung walked down the hallway silently, you were looking out the window to watch the sunset while soyoung had her eyes on her feet. only your footsteps could be heard as almost everyone has left the school grounds except for some teachers who were working late. the school normally closes at 7pm and you’re walking out at 6:50. to break the silence, soyoung opens her mouth to start a conversation.

“okay if you dont believe me why dont you try it yourself? like write a simple introduction to your soulmate.” you raise an eyebrow as you shove your hands into the front pockets of your mom jeans. “why dont you do it?” you fought back as you huff. soyoung bites the inside of her cheek as a moment of silence passes for her to think of an answer.

“because i believe it. and you do not. so you should try it.” you smacked soyoung’s arm, making her flinch back and shouting a loud ‘ouch’. you roll your eyes, knowing you didn’t hit her hard and she was just overreacting. “brilliant excuse,so. but if its going to make you stop talking about it, i might as well.” soyoung face lit up as she jumps happily and starts skipping ahead of you. you laugh and pull the handle at back of her bag to keep her explosion of excitement to the minimum.

“you owe me brown sugar milk tea. large.” you taunted. soyoung waves her hand lazily. “i’ll buy you one after school tomorrow. but you better update me during math.”

you wanted to say how you could just text soyoung to update her, but you remembered the fact that soyoung’s mother took away her phone since she didn’t do well for this year’s midterms. although to you, soyoung’s grades were decent. unfortunately for her, soyoung has to live up to her asian mom’s high expectations. the thought of this made you want to frown, but you showed a bright smile regardless as the two of you finally made it to the school gate, waving to each other and bidding farewell before walking down opposite paths.

once you arrived at home, you took out your phone from your back pocket. you saw a notification from your mother saying that your parents would be home late. you shrug your shoulders as you walk to your room. “as always.” you breathed out.

you did your normal routine of showering and eating leftover dinner that you needed to heat up at the couch while you completed one episode of the anime series you were so hooked on. you continue watching but with the amount of homework you have, you might finish them all by midnight if you dont slack.

you turned off the tv and washed your plate before heading into your room. as you close the door behind you, your eyes immediately went to your desk, which was pretty messed up since you had a test to study for yesterday that you completely weren’t prepared for and had to squeeze in as much information as you can. hence, the scattering of notes and textbooks.

you stroll over to your desk and sat down. you take out your homework from your back which was beside the desk. looking at the stack of homework, you groan in despair as shove it to the back of the desk till it hit the wall. “ah fuck it! im just going to ask kun for help.” you admitted your defeat depsite thinking you would be able to gain some energy from your dinner. you also thought about how you’ve done your homework in the morning plenty of time so i shouldnt be a problem unless kun doesn’t offer his help.

you jump to your bed and lay down, bringing your phone out and immediately start scrolling through instagram. as you swiped your finger up to look at the posts of the people you follow, you stop at one. a picture of a couple who met through the sticky note theory. or so they claim. your thumbs hover over the screen as your eyes look up to the ceiling, starting to remember what soyoung asked to do to get your bubble tea.

yoy tap your index finger on the side of your phone as you constantly started to think whether you should do it or not. you’ve heard the rumours. but are they even true? the more you thought about it, the more intriguing the idea got. but at the same time, you also thought of how stupid it sounded and was probably made to fool people.

after contemplating and having in a debate in your head that felt like forever, you finally place your phone down beside you and take a deep breath. “ill do it.” you groan to yourself, letting curiosity take over your other feelings.

you gather up your strength to stand up from your bed and walk over to your desk. you push all the papers and textbooks aside, grabbing a yellow sticky notepad from your stationery organiser. you had other colours too like pink and purple, but you figured that you should go with the classic.

pulling out a random pen that was laying in between the pages of one of your textbooks, you tilt your head to the side as you start thinking of what to write, unconsciously biting the end of your pen in the process.

you bite the side of your cheek and shrug, deciding to go with the plan of writing whatever that comes to your mind.

um hi? i dont even know if you’re going to see this. its funny, really. i heard a rumour that you can communicate with your soulmate through sticky notes. it’s probably just fake news and im writing to a nobody. that would honestly be embarrassing but it’ll be like love letters.. to myself(?) or my soulmate. write back? haha

you read over what you wrote an endless amount of times, thinking if you should make changes. you groan and immediately stick the sticky note onto your wall, giving up on giving second thoughts about what you call this ridiculousness.

you went about your night, forgetting you have left the sticky note on the wall. as you were on you bed scrolling through tumblr at 2 in the morning, you hear something. it sounded like a piece of paper had fallen from your desk.

unable to see in complete darkness, you turn on the flashlight from your phone and walk around your room, trying to find whatever it is that fell. it didn’t take you long to find a small yellow sticky note that you accidentally stepped on.

you pick it up, remembering that you wrote on the sticky note and thought that it was yours. however, once you were able to get a closer look, you noticed that the words on the sticky note have changed. so has the handwriting.

holy shit. i dont know what is this. but apparently a sticky note appeared on my wall saying i have a soulmate. my friends told me i should write back because of some rumour. so here i am trying. hi im mark. i dont know your name, but hope you’ll tell me once you recieve this. you’re in luck because apparently the rumour is true. im just as crepped out as you are.

you froze in your spot. your fingers shaking as you read the note again. you scratch your head. being too tired and unable to think straight at 2 in the morning, you place the sticky note on your desk and went back to bed to play with your phone. you soon forget about the fact that your soulmate has replied to your message that you have written on your sticky note.

as you got ready for the next period which was math, soyoung immediately runs over to you, dragging the chair from the desk beside you and taking a seat. you flinch a little when you suddenly see her close to you.

“so did you try it?!” soyoung asks, her voice filled with enthusiasm . you brushed a few pieces of hair behind your ear, nodding your head as you take out your textbook from under the desk. “did you get a reply then?”

your mind started to take you back to the mysterious encounter that you had last night. “mhm.” you reply simply. “though the only thing i remember because it seems to be the only relevant information is that the person’s name is mark.” soyoung gasped loudly, making you crease your forehead as you watch her overreacting again.

“your soulmate’s name is mark then.” soyoung concludes, folding her arms confidently as if she made a great discovery. you laugh, rolling your eyes sarcastically. “isnt it obvious?” soyoung frowns fakely.

your mouth gapes open as you hit soyoung’s arm lightly. “buy me my milk tea!” you demanded with a wide smile. soyoung places her notebook on your table and nods constantly. “i will you addict.” she groans. you happily say thank you as your teacher comes into the classroom and class began.

“what are you going to do about it now though?” as you recieved the question from soyoung, you kept silent for a moment, giving time to think of an answer.

“ill write something back? i dont know.. ill have to read the letter again when i get back home.” you whispe to soyoung. she nods in reply as the two of you payed your attention to the front again. it surprised you that soyoung was paying attention but you only assumed that she wanted to do better in class and shrug your shouders, writing down the notes youve missed while talking to soyoung.

as for you, your concentration in class dipped slightly because now, the thing that is occupying your head the most is the thought that the sticky notes theory might actually be real and you cant say its not possible anymore, making you even more shocked than you did last night.

lucky for you, today is the only day of the week where your class ends the earliest, along with two other lower ranked classes. you and soyoung quickly pack up to go to the mall to get your reward. after soyoung buys you your drink, you and soyoung went your separate ways.

after about 30 minutes of taking the bus and walking, you finally arrived at home. you place your drink on the living room table and proceed to place your bag in the room and head for the showers.

once you were done showering, you walk out of the bathroom to head to your room while drying your hair with a small towel. opening the door, you enter and went straight to your clothing rack. just when you were about to grab a shirt from the hanger, you heard the same noise last night. another piece of paper has fallen on the floor.

you turn your head and look down. this time, you found another sticky note right in front of your feet. the colour of the sticky note changed from yellow to a light blue. you tilt your head as you pick up the stick note from the floor, finding it odd as you wonder how the colour of the sticky note changed.

you take a deep breath before reading it, noticing that the handwriting was similar to the one you read last night. a little messier, but still readable.

hi again.. im not sure if you’ll recieve this since its the afternoon and i know people are busy with work or school. i skipped school today so haha. um i just wanted to write to you, despite me not knowing a single thing about you. its odd really. its like i feel the need to write something to an unknown identity that people assume to be my soulmate. i still dont know your name, so i hope youll reply soon. take your time and take care :)

- mark

“skip school? what is he, a bad boy?” you scoff to yourself. you try to take in whatever’s on the note, but another thought comes to mind. you walk over to your desk and saw that the yellow sticky note with mark’s reply was still there. you find everything about this weird and just odd in general. a lot of questions sprouted, but you didn’t want to think of it since you were afraid you would complicate your thoughts and just throw yourself into a stress hole.

you continue to dry your hair with one hand while the other held onto the light blue sticky note. you bit your lip and gulp. after letting out a long sigh, you place the sticky note next to the other one and changed into your clothes, as well as bringing your drink from the living room table to your room, placing it on the desk as you sat down.

you take out your pencilcase from your bag and brought out your fresh new black pen that you just bought at the school’s stationery store. the previous pen you had was full of ink till soyoung was dumb enough to drop it, spoiling the pen and was unable to be used again.

peeling off another yellow stick note from the stack at the edge of your desk, you were about to put your pen on paper when you realise you dont even know what to write. what do you say to this person you barely know about? you continuously tap the edge of the pen against your desk as you take a sip of your drink. you look over to the two sticky notes with the messages that the person has left. its funny how you have to think so hard just to write a short message.

hey again. i actually ended school early today. my name’s raven. but my friends call me ray. i honestly don’t know what to say to you. im still dumbfounded over the fact that you’re my soulmate and we’re here communicating over sticky notes. the world really does work in a strange way. if you dont mind, i guess i want to know how old you are and you’re education status?

you held out the sticky note in front of you and sigh in satisfaction. why? it’s because of your neat handwriting. it was always a trait of yours that you deeply appreciate. you place the sticky note on the wall and advert your attention to the other sticky notes, placing them on the wall beside the new one you have just written.

“will this drive me insane? i might end up with a whole wall of this.” you say to yourself, rubbing your face with your palm before going to your bed and laying down, wanting to have your evening nap.

“this is awesome!”

“no its scary.”

mark and his group of friends stared at the sticky note that has a message written with beautiful handwriting. mark flinched when he felt an arm on his shoulder, turning around to notice it was chenle’s. “when did you write your previous sticky note?” renjun suddenly asked. mark tilts his head as he tried to find an answer.

“less than an hour before you guys came i guess?” mark shrugs, standing up from his desk and taking a seat at the edge of the bed beside jaemin and haechan. “this raven girl is your soulmate then.” chenle walks towards mark and stands in front of him. mark nods slowly. the room grew silent again with everyone having the similar thoughts.

“you know what would be funny?” haechan smacks mark’s thigh, the sound making everyone turn their attention to mark and haechan. “what?” mark asked with a sigh, running a hand through his hair.

“why dont we prank her and say you’re a sugar daddy and live in a mansion?!” everyone gave yuta weird looks, making haechan laugh hysterically. “are you crazy? do you think i want to chase my soulmate away?” mark scolded haechan, smacking him hard on the chest, resulting in haechan’s back falling onto the bed.

“you’re always asking for a beating i swear.” renjun comments, walking towards haechan and balling his hand into a fist and acting as if he was about to attack. jaemin laughs to try and calm them down. “kids let’s not fight.” jaemin announced, looking over to jeno only to find him standing there watching quietly.

“go ahead, mark. you should write something. we cant keep her waiting.” jeno finally spoke up, grabbing the sticky notepad and a random pen from mark’s table and passing it over to him.

mark stared at the blank paper while the others were talking about what to have for dinner. it didn’t take him long to decide what to write. when mark starts writing and began to be in full concentration, everyone crowds around him to see what he’s writing.

sup raven! i wont call you ray since we aren’t friends yet. im still shocked. like the possibility of things like this being possible is just another possibility that can possibly happen. but anyways, to answer you question, im a high schooler from dream high. im in my third year. its kind of awkward for me while im writing this since my friends are reading every word im taking down. i guess i should ask you the same question back then. hope to hear from you soon.

“will you guys stop being nosy?” mark groans, standing up and pasting the sticky note on his wall, along with the other sticky notes he received from you. “you didn’t have to say that we’re here.” haechan retorts. mark rolls his eyes. “jesus..” mark mutters under his breathe. “anyways, yall are paying for dinner since you guys bribed me to write back.” mark sticks his tongue out playfully and runs out to the living room. everyone follows suit.. except for jeno.

jeno slowly walks towards the wall and leans forward to get a closer look of the sticky notes, specifically the two others beside the new one that mark just wrote. “raven? why does that sound so familiar? the handwriting...” jeno brings his finger up and lightly hovers them over the uniquely written words. it looked like calligraphy, and retro looking. jeno felt as though he had seen it before somewhere, or knew someone who wrote like that.

jeno snapped out of his deep thoughts when jaemin called out to him, making him walk towards the door and glancing at the sticky notes once more before joining the others in the living room.

you were currently video calling your friends when you heard the crackling of a piece of paper. of course you knew what that meant. you peered down the the floor from your bed and reached your hand out to pick up the sticky note. “ray?” doyoung called out to you when he noticed your face wasnt on screen. you lay back down on the floor and brought your phone up to show your face.

“what was that sound earlier?” lucas asked, currently sounding hyper. “the mysterious mark sent me another sticky note.” you reply sarcastically, waving the sticky note to the camera to let everyone look at it. everyone nodded their heads at the some time, some letting out a long ‘ah’ as well. “read it out loud!” yuta shouted.

“the fuck no!” you shouted back. you stared at the sticky note, but didn’t bother to read it. you thought of doing that once you’re done video calling them.

“how was today for you guys?” you asked, wanting to know how they’re doing.

“its tiring! we had dance practice, then we have to do recordings for our new albums. we barely get any sleep.” ten whines, his tone filled with stress. you laugh loudly. it made everyone frown and pout. you sigh. “pursuing your NCT world domination is never easy.” you commented, highlighting the word ‘world domination’ with a change of tone.

everyone lets out a long sigh and started to complain one by one, making the whole video call chaotic for almost 10 minutes. you could only smile and shake your head.

after about an hour or so of talking about basically everything and catching up with each other, everyone decided that they should end the call here since it was beginning to get dark and they needed to start practice soon. you bid your goodbye to them once more and ended the call.

you now adverted your attention to the sticky note. reading the letter, you raise both eyebrows. “dream high? that’s not far from here..” you mumbled to yourself. you started to think about everything you know about dream high. you know it’s was about an hour’s journey from where you live. it wasnt really well known either. the overall vibe of the school was mediocre.

however, you felt like you were missing something. something about that school is somehow related to you. you just couldn’t think of an answer despite squeezing all thoughts that you have in your brain. you groan and stood up from your bed and to your desk, proceeding to wanting to write a reply to mark.

hey. sorry if you get this quite late. i was busy video calling my friends. to answer your question, im a third year as well from jookin high. i would ask for your number so we dont have to do this all the time but my friend would scold me saying “but you’re removing the fun out of it.” but anyways, mark aka my soulmate, tell me about yourself, to start off.

you stick the note onto the wall, looking at the row of messages you’ve had recieved so far. you found it weird how the first time you’ve sent the note and got a reply back, it was on the same sticky note, just different handwriting. but you had to write on a new sticky note to send a new message only to get the same sticky note with a different message in return.

you only see his answers lined up on your wall. you started to wonder how this mark guy looked like. is he good looking? what are his hobbies? his attitude towards school? you really wished you could just text him through instagram and not have to go through all this trouble. but that option would earn you a large smack on the back by soyoung and your really didn’t want that.

“do we really need to be here now? like now?!”soyoung whined, while pushing the cart and following behind you while you tossed some packets of frozen bacon. you stopped walking and turn around, nodding your head intensely. soyoung groans and took out her phone, proceeding to use it while still pushing the cart.

you walk around the supermarket, trying to find the ingredients listed on your notes in your phone. it was the weekends and you’re parents were going to be away for a business trip for a week so you thought of inviting soyoung over and making home cooked meals as a bonding session for you two.

after about 30 minutes of gathering the ingredients and having soyoung constantly screaming and fangirling over tiktok edits of jaehyun from NCT. one note: she has yet to know that you know them and that they’re your friends. you figured that it would be best to not let anyone know so as to avoid any situation that would put your friends in a tight spot, since well they’re idols, you were looking for one last item that you had trouble finding.

“soyoung help me! stop watching tiktoks!” you groan, snatching soyoung’s phone away and shoving it in her back pocket. soyoung rolls her eyes lazily and the two of you proceeded to scan the different isles and shelves, looking over every item.

while you were too concentrated looking at the bottom shelves, you felt that you have bumped into someone. you squat down, letting out a soft ‘ouch’ before standing up and looking to see who you bumped into.

“wait. jaemin?” you furrow your eyebrows as you tilt your head, pointing your finger at the guy in front of you. “raven!” you noticed that it was jaemin after all, and both your faces lit up and the same time, grinning widely at each other.

“uhhh..” soyoung says out loud, you and jaemin turn your heads to face soyoung who was behind you. “oh! this is jaemin. we used to be neighbourhood friends before he moved out 4 years ago.” you introduced jaemin to soyoung. jaemin nodded and gave her a bright smile. soyoung only shrugged her shoulders and took out her phone. you turn your attention back to jaemin.

“why are you even here? dont you live quite far?” you ask, your fingers interlocked behind your back. jaemin nods, running a hand through his hair.

“well yes. but we came here to find something that only this supermarket sells.” jaemin replied back, his warm smile never leaving his lips. you smile, reached your hand out to ruffle his hair, laughing softly afterwards. “we? who’re you with?” you stared at jaemin with eyes of suspicion. jaemin started pinching your cheeks, making you whine and begging him to let go.

“with my friend, ray chill. im still single.” jaemin pulled away and folded his arms, pouting. “im sure you’ll find one soon.” you reached out to ruffle his hair and give off a wide smile.

while you and jaemin were catching up and being in your own world, soyoung got too bored of watching the two of you and decided to walk around the supermarket, leaving the cart behind you.

just as she was looking at the drinks isle to get her favourite sweet drink, she sees someone picking up a bunch of bottles one by one and placing them back on the shelve. out of kindness, she decided to help, picking up a bottle and placing it on fhe shelve before looking up to face the guy, who had a straight face while looking at her.

“i was just trying to help. im soyoung.” soyoung smiled, reaching her hand out and waiting for thr guy to greet back. he looked at her but doesn’t respond, proceeding to pick up the last bottle that was seen on the floor. “im jeno.” jeno stands up and nods his head to greet soyoung. soyoung nods back, walking down the isle to grab her drink from the shelve. “have a nice day.” soyoung says before leaving the isle and disappearing out of jeno’s sight. he only shrugged in response and went to do his own thing.

“you met who?!” haechan asks as he takes a sip of his ice cold water. everyone had their heads turned to jaemin, who raised an eyebrow at everyone’s weird expression. “i met my old friend raven. what’s so shocking?” jaemin asks back casually, picking up a few pieces of fries and dipping it into the sauce before shoving it in his mouth.

“dude that’s the name of mark’s soulmate!” haechan screams, making everyone flinch due to the loud noise. “i highly doubt it. there’s plenty of girls in the world with the name raven.” jaemin protests with his mouth full and chugging down gulps of coca cola.

“i mean that’s true. jeno you were with jaemin, right? dont you suspect anything?” renjun starts to question jeno, who was silently playing with his phone. looking up at the others, he gulps.

“i didn’t know he met his friend. i was picking out drinks. i just met a girl named soyoung.” jeno shrugs, taking a bite of his burger. mark scratches the back of his head, now starting to think of the fact that jaemin might have met his soulmate. though he also thought about how that could not be totally possible.

“nah i dont think its her. like really ‘raven’ could be anyone.” mark says, siding with jaemin. haechan tilts his head in awe. “jaemin do you know what school she’s going to?” jaemin only shakes his head.

“i lost all contact with her when i left her neighbourhood. plus we were young. i barely knew her honestly.” the living room falls silent, everyone trying to think of a conclusion to this.

chenle groans, standing up from his seat and slamming his hands on the table, gathering everyone’s attention as their heads shot up. “instead of pondering as if yall are solving some crime, why dont mark just ask her through the sticky note god dammit?” chenle pinches the bridge of his nose.

everyone’s mouths gape open as the room was suddenly filled with ‘ah’s all over. chenle shakes his head. everyone was now looking intensively at mark. mark furrows his eyebrows. “okay guys hold up ill grab the stick note.” mark stands up and takes one bite of his burger before going into his room for awhile and coming out with a sticky note and a pen.

jaemin noticed jeno being silent the whole way. and althought thats normal since its jeno’s nature and personality to not be so outspoken like the others, jaemin could sense that jeno was off and seem to be in deep thoughts.

and jaemin was right. jeno couldnt stop thinking about jaemin’s encounter with ‘raven’. the name sounded so familiar. he tried to recall every girl he has came into contact with during his life. why did he feel like the name was tied to the handwriting he saw on the sticky notes?

“jeno.” jaemin nudged him in the shoulder. jeno mumbled a soft ‘oh’ before turning his attention to mark just like the others. “she didn’t send me a reply after my last one though.” mark says, looking up.

“its fine. she probably didn’t see it. just write already.” chenle says in anticipation. mark shakes his head. “calm the heck down its not like we can get an answer immediately.” mark rolls his eyes and began to write.

hey raven. um i know this may sound weird. but have you gone to a supermarket and met a guy names jaemin? im not a stalker i swear. its just that he’s my friend and apparently you know him. though i dont think that such a coincidence and come by just like that. hope you hear from you soon.

jeno stared at the sticky note that mark proceeded to place at a random wall of the living room while everyone continued to eat and chat. his thoughts finally linked and a imaginary lightbulb appeared on above his head when he finally realises why he was so drawn to mark’s soulmate.

you were focused on wanting to solve a math question when the sticky note above your desk’s wall had fallen in front of you, revealing a new message. you place your pen down and let out a sigh, remembering that you hsve forgotten to write a reply and that mark probably sent you another one.

you tied your hair in a messy low bun before picking up the sticky note to get a closer view. you blink your eyes rapidly as your eyes furrow in awe. what the note said really shocked you and made you freeze in your spot. jaemin is friends with your soulmate? there’s no way.

you sat there for awhile as you constantly read over the words, still in shock with your moutb hanging open. you just couldn’t believe it. was it really what it seemed to be? another thought came to your mind as well. the thought of just who is this friend of jaemin’s? could it be mark? was your soulmate literally in the same place as you yet you never knew?

you grab a fresh new piece of sticky note and proceeded to write a reply after staring at it for so long and thought that it was finally time that you do something.

okay what you wrote really was weird. jaemin’s my old neighbourhood friend. its such a coincidence how you know him. i guess the connections are there. so haha yeah. damn. im very mind blown right now.

you take a look at your handwriting again, smiling to yourself. “i really do love my handwriting.” you mumble under your breath. you stuck the sticky note on the wall and resumed doing your homework, hoping that mark would reply soon.

while the boys were immersed in the horror movie they were watching on friday night, everyone turned their heads to each other when they heard the noise of a piece of paper falling onto the floor. in unison, everyone turned their head to where the noise came from and seeing the sticky note that fell.

jisung grabs the controller and pauses the movie. “we’re watching a scary movie and creepy stuff like that happens?!” jisung asks, stuttering out of complete fear.

mark decided to be the brave one after seeing everyone’s terrified face and stands up to pick up the sticky note, going back to take his seat on the couch soon after. “d-does that always happen?” mark shrugs. “well duh. that’s how i know she sent a reply. it wouldn’t be this scary if we weren’t watching a horror movie.”

everyone’s heads once again gather around mark as he read the note out loud. everyone gapes their mouth open, some covered their mouths while jeno could only stare at it in disbelief. “i guess we’ve confirmed its her.” mark breathes out, placing the sticky note on the table.

jeno reaches out to grab the sticky note to have a look. the unique handwriting that he suspected would belong to you really was yours. out of anger, he tears the sticky notes into two. everyone had their eyes widened at jeno’s sudden shocking action. mark snatches the now torn note back, looking down at them before facing jeno.

“what the heck was that for?!”

“dont talk to her anymore. she’s trouble.”

everyone lets out a sigh in unison except for mark, looking at everyone’s weird reaction. “what do you mean trouble? and why does it look like you all know something except me?” mark furrows his eyes as everyone exchanged glances continuously for a moment.

“she’s just not someone you should be with. that’s all.” jeno stands up and walks to his room, slamming the door shut and produring a piercing noise. the room was silent for awhile until mark speaks up.

“what am i missing here you guys?”

no one replies.

“we’ve been friends for a year and you guys are all keeping secrets for me?” mark scoffs in disbelief, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“we arent in the position to tell you. its jeno.” jaemin murmurs under his breath, looking down on the ground just like the others.

marks keeps silent and stands up from the couch, the palm the torn note was in is balled into a fist as he goes into his room as well.

haechan sighs. “jeno has to tell the truth. he’s been holding onto that grudge almost forever now.”

everyone nods their heads in agreement. “if not, he’s going to live in despair now that he knows she’s his best friend’s soulmate..” jisung adds on.

everyone could only silently hope that things could go well.

after that day you’ve sent a reply, you havent heard from mark since. you dont know why. due to your lack of information on him, it felt as if he disappeared into thin air. although only a week has past by, you felt concerned and somewhat worried for him. did something happen to him? what made him cut off his connection with you? its not like you did anything wrong.

out of pure desperation, you decided to skip school today. youve never skipped school before, and you felt so rebellious and bad. why did you do this? so you could go to dream high and meet mark in person. youve had enough of the sticky notes. you just wanted to see how he was like in real life, not having to think about it through notes.

with a little help from jaemin by texting him on instagram, you knew that mark’s class should be ending by 4pm, and you were there at 3:50 in the canteen where jaemin told you to wait. funny how the security guard lets a student from another school come in with a pass or anything.

you slowly start seeing groups of students going down the flight of stairs that lead to the canteen which had a path leading to the front gates. some eyes glanced at you as they notice someone who doesnt belong at their school, you couldnt care less though. your thoughts were only filled with mark. how he looked like, how he would carry himself. your anticipation was the only thing you felt.

you wore your headphones yet you could suddenly hear a lot of squealing and shouting. you look up, turning you attention to the stairs. a large group of girls crowding around another group of people, who you assumed to be guys. you scoffed, thinking about how there’s always that one group of good looking guys all girls seem to go crazy for. you watch as the group of guys push through the large crowd.

once you got a closer look, you tilt your head to the side. you slowly bring your headphone down from your ears and let them rest on your neck, getting intrigued by how the girls were getting so crazy, even more crazy than the ones from your school.

“its mark! he’s so cute!”

you widen your eyes as you heard the word ‘mark’. you stood up from your seat, peering your head up to find which one is the girl referring to. you only see two guys walking. one smiling sheepishly while the other kept a straight and cold face. just which one is mark?

suddenly, you felt an arm grabbing yours and pulling you back. you jump out of fear and turn around noticing it was jaemin. you calmed your breathing as you look at jaemin.

“meet mark under the block nearby. its too hectic here for you to talk to him.”

jaemin dragged you out of the school grounds and to a secluded block where only a few students where walking past and left you there. you were lost in confusion but decided to trust whatever jaemin was doing, sitting down at a random bench.

“jaemin told us to meet him here where is-”

“raven.”

“what?”

you immediately stood in front of the two guys you saw at the canteen as you notice a familiar face. you werent able to get a clear look at them before, but now you realise that you knew one of them. “jeno..” you look at a different direction a you tried avoiding his gaze, though you knew you couldnt, forcing yourself to meet his eyes.

mark looks at the both of you, utterly confused as his attention shifts from you to jeno constantly. “this raven?” mark points at you, tilting his head. you nod slowly as your turn your head to face mark. you observed his body up and down. he was good looking, just like jeno.. yet his aura told you that he was way more outgoing and open than jeno.

“you look...”

everyone was silent.

you gulp in nervousness. “im busy. bye mark.” before jeno could go, mark pulled on his arm to bring him back to stand beside him, earning a glare from jeno. the one you could never forget. “stay. i know something happened. you were always quiet whenever we talked about this girl. and i also know you all kept something from me.”

you slowly turned to jeno. you could he was annoyed whenever he looked at you. you felt it through his eyes, and it was terrifying. jeno took a deep breath in, folding his arms and placing his weight on one leg.

“if you remember clearly, chenle told you that before we became friends with you, we had a fight and didnt talk to each other for a long time. we didnt tell you this, but it was her who caused it. she brought chaos into our group. everyone forgotten about it clearly, but i cant. after what she did.. i cant forgive her.”

you opened your mouth, wanting to reply but your words were somehow stuck in your throat. you didnt exactly know what to say or do in this awkward situation.

“it.. it was a long time ago jeno, please. my feelings for you were real, even if we werent meant to be. i dont know how many times you need me to say sorry.” you pleaded, biting your lip as you waited for jeno’s reaction.

jeno sighs and runs a hand through his hair as he lets out a huff of rustration. “then why did you leave? you left me stranded, and because of you, i almost left my friends becaused i lived in agony since i missed you so much. i almost pushed everyone away.” you shivered as jeno’s voice started to raise.

you also glanced at mark, who still kept his confused expression on his face. through his gaze never left you as you felt his eyes scanning you body up and down.

“you two used date?” mark asks. you nod in reply.

“we were kids. we didnt know about all this soulmate stuff. but now..”

“you know what? be together. im not going to leave my friends just because of my pent up grudge and feelings. i cant control fate either.”

years had now past since you met mark. it really was fate. the two of you became close in no time and now.. you were fianally married. you couldnt be more happy to be with mark. who you were destined to be really was made for you, and you only. and to think this all escalated due to a note you sent out in pure curiosity.

you still remember what happened with jeno after that day, despite the lack of interaction between you two, jeno was open enough to accept you as his friend again. you are now living a happy life with mark, and always being able to hang out with his group of friends. today was no different.

“haechan get the chilli sauce!” you hear mark shout as you smile widely, feeling his arm snaking around your waist to pull you close. having a barbeque was a great idea to celebrate jisung’s birthday.

you soon see haechan with the bottle of chilli sause, placing it on the table where everyone gathered around the table which had jisung’s birthday cake. “before we do anything with the cake, let me announce my wish.” jisung announces proudly. you raise an eyebrow. “you cant say you birthday wish out loud!” you scolded jisung, but everyone laughs.

“his wish is something we all know.” jeno says, winking playfully at you. you tilt your head in confusion when you suddenly feel mark’s arm leaving you waist. you look over to mark who was shoving his hand into his pocket as if to find something.

you were completely clueless when mark nods towards jisung, to show some kind of signal. “i wish for mark and raven to get married!” jisung shouts.

you gaped your mouth open in shock when mark pulls out a small box, opening it in front of you to show a ring. you cover your mouth in disbelief. “did you guys really-”

“please marry me, raven. my sticky note soulmate.” you hear everyone clapping s a tear of happiness drips from your cheek. you quickly wipe it away as you heard the nickname that mark gave you. “we wouldnt normally do this but it was jeno that suggested this.”

you look over to jeno who had a soft smile on his face as he nod his head. looking back at mark, you grin widely as more tears started flowing out. “of course ill marry you, you dork.”

92 notes · View notes

illfoandillfie · 5 years ago

Text

Curtains Part 6

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Roger F!Reader

Summery: Exams, a car show, and an entirely too long wait.

Warnings: Smut (18+), nothing overly kinky, a little bit of a dom/sub dynamic, dom!rog, some light degradation, a little breast/nipple play,fingering, honestly quite tame considering the shit these two normally get up to lmao

Words: 7129

A/N: Oh my god its finally here. The last chapter. I am so sorry it's taken so long but it's been super busy around home and whenever I did get a chance to write I got very worried I was going to balls it up and ruin the whole story lmao. Anyway, I've really loved writing this series and these characters and I hope you enjoy the last part!

Also the British International Motor Show was a real thing that really was held at the Olympia. And Roger did eventually own a Ferrari and a Mercedes, although as far as I know not a Rolls Royce (that was Freddie’s).

Taglist: @laedymoon @dtfrogertaylor @ezmina98 @vee-ndetta @atomic-watermelon @kellypenac @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor @hannafuckingsucks @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely @supersonicfreddie

@bohemiansweede @rogershoe @lnnuend0 @funitrog @moonlit-wilde

The exams hit you hard. Most nights were spent at the library, staying as late as possible before you dragged yourself home and collapsed on your bed, the morning alarm always coming too soon to start the whole thing over again. The biggest downside of the routine was how little you’d been able to see Roger since it started. When you had managed to catch him he looked as tired and stressed as you felt, neither of you capable of talking for too long before one of you yawned or remembered you were meant to be revising. It filled what little space in your brain that wasn’t already full of anxiety about exams with anxiety about your relationship. You still weren’t entirely sure how solid things with Roger were. They were certainly at a better, more normal, place after your two dates and a not-quite-a-date at the markets. Freddie had spent the entire first half hour you were there eyeing you suspiciously, as if you were going to bolt suddenly or tell him off. He stopped eventually though and you’d had a lovely day, helping to sell a few items when you weren’t wandering around with Roger looking at other stalls. But everything still felt so new and uncertain, especially after the rocky start you’d had, which left you not entirely positive you were officially a couple, and now you couldn’t help worry that the forced distance would make Roger lose interest in you or set you back a few steps after all the progress you’d managed. It didn’t help that you were on edge from not getting laid recently. The last time had been an age ago, in the backseat of Roger’s car. You would have slept with him again at the markets, or more likely after you’d gone home, except your period had started the day before and you couldn’t bring yourself to suggest having sex like that. So, since then you’d been on forced celibacy with only the end of exams to look forward to. Sure, you could have masturbated but between the hours spent sitting the exams and the hours spent cramming for them, you never seemed to find time for it. It all added up to a rather unpleasant desire crushed beneath a lack of sleep and a constant voice in the back of your head telling you that you were fucking something up. Unhelpful for cultivating a good mood or an opportunity to convince Roger to come over for a quickie. In fact, you barely saw him until the day after his final exam.

Feeling slightly better rested since you were free from needing to regurgitate months of class notes, you walked up next door’s driveway and knocked on Roger’s door. “Y/N, what a pleasant surprise, come on in,” Freddie said as he opened the door, “all done then? Exams I mean,” “Yes, thank god. You?” “Yeah, I finished earlier in the week. Never been more relieved in my life, although the day Rog finished was a close second,” he led you through the cluttered living room, your eyes slipping from the old, worn couch to the record player by the phone, into the kitchen where Roger stood, a bowl of cereal in his hands, eyes out of focus as he stared off into space, “Rog, wake up darling, the girl you’ve been whining about is here to see you.” Roger blinked, tired eyes falling to you and pulling a smile onto his face, “Y/N,” “Hey Rog,” He hastily put down the bowl and pulled you into a hug. You sighed into him, mind already more at ease than it had been when you arrived. “How were your exams?” He asked when he finally let you go. “Oh y’know, okay I guess. Probably failed one of them but I’m beyond caring right now, you?” “Yeah, yeah, all good I think. I’m just glad to be able to sleep normally again. Kept having this dream about turning up to an exam naked and then realising it was the wrong subject anyway.” “Jesus, Rog, if you’re going to sit here dissecting your dreams again I’m going to have to leave.” “You call yourself my friend,” “And aren’t you lucky for it. Just remember to wash out your bowl this time,” Freddie grabbed the cup of tea he’d been making and exited with a wave that you returned. “Was that because of me? Does he still not like me?” “He likes you fine, I promise,” Roger grabbed your hand and led you out to the living room, “I’ve just been driving him nuts these last few days.” He dropped onto the couch with a creak and pulled you down onto his lap. “Nuts how?” “Oh y’know, exam stuff mostly. Weird little rituals I started doing to make sure I passed, like, um, I had to wear a particular pair of shoes to every exam, my sparkly silver ones, otherwise I was convinced I would fail. Nearly had a breakdown when I couldn’t find them one morning. Stuff like that.” “Would the other stuff be related to his girl you’ve been whining about comment?” “Maybe,” Roger looked away, as if slightly embarrassed to admit it, “I might have kept bugging him with questions about whether he’d seen you around. He went right off at me the other night, told me to pull my head in and just go see you but it was one in the morning so,” he shrugged as he trailed off, still focused on the other side of the room. “You really thought about me that much?” “Yeah, course,” he finally looked at your properly, “I missed… hanging out with you,” “Me too,” you smiled shyly, trying to work out if hanging out was a good sign or not. You decided to continue with the plan that had brought you to his door that morning, just in case, “But, if you’re up for it, I have an idea of something we could do tomorrow.” “Oh yeah? Does it involve making out a lot?” “I guess it could,” “Consider me there,” You laughed as he took hold of your chin and pulled you into a kiss. Maybe it was a good sign after all.

If Roger hadn’t broken off the kiss to yawn three different times, apologising after each one, you would have been hard pressed not to end up in his bed. He wasn’t quite as worked up as you were, admitting he’d developed the habit of wanking on the morning of every exam he had, but he was still eager for more than just making out, encouraging you to roll your hips and grind against him. But he was clearly too exhausted. “Where’re you going?” he asked as you wriggled off his lap and stood up. “You’re dead on your feet Rog, you should go catch up on some sleep,” “I’m not, come on come ba-“ he was cut off by another yawn. “See?” “Okay, fine. Maybe you have a point. But you don’t have to leave, you could come nap with me and then when I wake up in a couple of hours we can continue this, but tucked up in bed.” You laughed, “Nice try, Rog, but I’m gonna go home, let you rest properly. We’ll have all of tomorrow though. I’ll come by at tenish okay?” “Tenish it is. Can you give me a hint about what you have planned?” “No but I promise you’ll enjoy it.” “That could be anything,” he said as he walked you to the door, tilting his head and resting it against the frame. “Exactly. Don’t want to spoil it. I’ll see you tomorrow,” you made to leave but Roger caught your hand and pulled you back against him, leaving you slightly breathless, lips tingling with the kiss. “One for the road,” he shrugged, trying not to grin too much. “Go get some rest Rog,” you laughed, “Oh! And wear comfortable walking shoes tomorrow,” “Walking? That doesn’t sound like making out.”

You only had to knock once the next morning before Roger was opening the door, looking excited and better rested, though there were still heavy bags under his eyes. You’d seen the same bags on your own face but, thankfully, makeup covered a multitude of sins. “So, will you finally tell me where we’re going?” “No but if you don’t mind driving, I’ll instruct you where to go,” “You’re kidding me! You aren’t going to tell me anything but you want me to drive?” he narrowed his eyes and stared at you but you just smiled sweetly back until he relented, “good thing I like you so much or I woulda told you to shove it up your arse.” “You’re the best Rog,” you giggled, swooping in to kiss his cheek, “promise it’ll be worth it.” “Yeah yeah, get in the bloody car,” he shook his head but you caught him smiling to himself as he got into the drivers seat. “Your gonna need go left out of the driveway,” “I am, am I?” he said before following your instruction and turning left. You directed him there with only one minor detour when Roger managed to get stuck in the wrong lane and missed his turn. A few streets away from your destination he saw a sign directing passers-by to visit the British International Motor Show, glancing at you out of the corner of his eye, but he said nothing, just let you tell him where to go. You could tell he was getting more excited with each street you directed him down, trying not to get his hopes up as you seemed to creep closer to the show. The dam burst when you told him to pull up in the carpark of the Olympia. “No fucking way,” he said softly, trying to concentrate on not hitting any other cars as he pulled into a spot, even as his eyes darted around the crowd of people entering the venue, “You got us tickets to the motor show?” “Mmhmm,” you nodded, digging around in your bag for your pre-purchased tickets, “you mentioned on our last date that you were a bit of a rev head so I thought you might like it.” The way he looked at you made your whole body feel like it was infested with a swarm of butterflies. It was a look of barely contained glee and adoration that had you beaming right back at him. Once he was out of the car he hurried round to your side, pulling you into a hug and spinning you around in a circle as he squeezed you tight. “Christ, Y/N,” “I guess that means you like it?” you laughed as he put you back on solid ground. “Like it? This is the sweetest thing a girl as ever done for me. Might actually be the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. As if I needed more reasons to fall for you.” Your breath caught in your throat and the swarm under your skin went haywire but Roger barely seemed to realise what he said, too excited and impatient to see the show. He grabbed your hand and pulled you towards the entrance.

Most of the day was spent wandering around the show, Roger almost bouncing from one car to the next. There were all sorts to see, some brand new and unveiled that morning, some the kind your parents had driven around in as teenagers. There were more economic models, aimed at families or young adults looking for their first car and some were high end, luxury models with sleek designs and shiny finishes. Those were the sort that caught Roger’s eye most, never mind the outrageous prices you couldn’t even dream of affording. It was while standing in front of one of them, a gorgeous black Rolls-Royce from the mid-60s, that you nudged Roger with your elbow. “Y’know how when I first saw your Morris I said it wasn’t the type of car I imagined you in?” “Yeah,” “This is the sort of car I was picturing.” “Really? I’ve always loved a Rolls. Them and Ferraris. As a kid I used to have pictures of them ripped out of magazines and stuck up on my bedroom walls. Well, them and about a hundred other cars,” he chuckled at the memory and then fell silent for a bit, lost in thought, absentmindedly squeezing your hand. You were about to ask what he was thinking when he spoke again. “One day I’m going to own one.” “Are you now?” “Yup. One day Queen’s gonna hit it real fucking big. I’m not just saying that either, I mean it. We’ve really fucking got something the four of us, and one day we’ll have the number one song in the country and sell so many albums I’ll be able to buy one of each, a Rolls and a Ferrari. Maybe a Mercedes too. And I’ll take you out in them, wherever you want to go. We could drive down the coast, spend the weekend in our beach house. Or maybe out to the countryside, nice and peaceful and quiet. And if we stay at home I’ll take you out shopping. We’ll go to all the high-end stores and buy everything we want. Shoes and jewels and fur coats and everything." You leaned your head on his shoulder as he spoke, “That sounds wonderful,” “You haven’t heard the best part though,” “Oh?” He dropped his head down, lowering his voice so only you could hear him, “Haven’t even mentioned how I’ll fuck you in the change rooms of all those fancy shops. A hand over your mouth to keep you quiet because we both know how loud you get.” It was a mark of how long it had been that you began panting just from feeling his breath against your ear, “Looks like this car has enough room in the backseat. Just in case the shops are closed.” He stood up straight again, laughing, “Maybe we’ll sneak in there later. Shame I’m not rich already, could’ve just paid off the security so he’d give us a few moments alone with the car.” You knew he was joking about sneaking into the car but it didn’t help you calm down at all. Roger must have sensed your need, had probably been able to feel it seeping out of your skin, because he spent the rest of the day teasing you with small touches and whispered comments. He may have given up the teasing and just fucked you except that the number of people and the amount of security hired kept you from finding anywhere even remotely appropriate. The bathrooms were too crowded, extra portaloos hired and placed around the side of the building to accommodate everyone, and the back of the building faced the carpark and had a constant stream of people passing by or standing around directing traffic and loiterers. You considered suggesting the backseat of his car again but your head and thighs ached at the thought. After a final quick look around inside you decided to call it a day and head home where there was plenty of space and a big comfortable bed waiting.

By the time you arrived home it was early evening, your feet sore despite wearing your most comfortable pair of shoes. Roger’s stomach grumbled as he walked you to your front door, a loud reminder that neither of you had eaten more than a few snacks vendors had been selling at the show. “I had so much fun today,” he said, valiantly ignoring his stomach, “like an unbelievable amount of fun.” “Me too. Didn’t realise a car show could be quite that good,” you teased, “You wanna come in? Keep the fun going? We could get dinner, watch some TV,” “You’ve spent all day with me, sure you aren’t sick of me yet?” “Course not. Come on you sound like your starving and I’ve got a coupon for pizza stuck to my fridge,” “Well who am I to say no to that?” he said as he followed you inside, “where’s the coupon, I’ll call the order in.” “You don’t have to do that,” “No, no, let me. Least I can do to thank you for today. Any preferences?” “Uh, pepperoni if you don’t mind,” you called from the kitchen, returning with the coupon and handing it to Roger. “I definitely don’t mind, pepperoni is obviously the best,” Roger laughed and picked up the phone, as you quickly ducked into your room and made sure it was tidy. He followed you when he was done, peering into the living room and the kitchen as he searched for you. “Don’t have to clean up on my account,” You jumped a little at the sound of his voice behind you. “I’ve been in your room before, you’re much neater than me.” “Surprised you noticed the room enough to make that judgement,” “True, was always much more interested in you and how little you were wearing,” “Exactly,” you said, trying not to let on how fast your heart was racing at just the mention of the previous nights you’d spent together. “But I’m very messy,” Roger shot you a grin as he walked over to your desk, fingers brushing lightly over a few of the knickknacks you kept there before he moved to your modest bookshelf. You weren’t quite sure what to do with yourself as you watched him investigate your belongings, perching on the end of your bed, hoping he liked what he found. For the most part he just brushed his fingers lightly over your belongings, smiling softly and occasionally pausing to make a comment. He picked up the candle from your desk to smell it, complementing the scent as he put it back in its place. A few of the books on your shelf were pulled off and held up as he asked your opinions of them. He found a pair of your sunglasses and pushed them into his own face, checking himself out in your mirror before taking them off again, and then turned his attention to your record collection, spending much longer examining it than anything else. When he was done shuffling through the stack, making impressed hums when he found ones he particularly liked, he turned back to you. “Well I’m sorry to say but you have fantastic taste in music and I really have no other choice but to steal half of them,” “Is that so?” you asked, releasing a relieved breath, “Doesn’t seem fair,” “Well,” he walked the few steps towards where you still sat, leaning down until his lips were mere centimetres from yours, “it’s either that or you keep them and I fall madly in love with you.” The butterfly feeling returned, “Oh?” It was all you could manage to say. A loud knock from the front of the house interrupted you. “That’ll be the pizza,” you said quietly, torn between answering the door and closing the space between you. The decision was made when Roger’s stomach growled again. He dropped a quick kiss to your lips and then stood up with a small sigh.

If it had been up to you the night would have been spent snuggled up on the couch, eating pizza, drinking wine, and goofing around, until you retired to the bedroom and let the street hear you screaming Roger’s name. And you were pretty sure Roger’s mind was running along the same tracks. The only obstruction to your plan was the lack of sleep you’d both been suffering from, causing both of you to nod off before you could move from the couch. You woke in the morning, the TV no longer playing the comedy it had been left on but a test pattern card with odd organ music behind it. You blinked the sleep from your eyes as you tried to remember why you were on the couch and not in your bed, the night coming back to you as you sat up and realised you’d been curled up with your head on Roger’s thigh. He woke with a start when you stood up to stretch and turn off the TV. “Y/N?” he voice was still thick with sleep, eyes bleary and hair all over the place as he lifted his head from what must have been an uncomfortable position. “Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you. We fell asleep on the couch.” “Oh, right,” “You can go back to sleep if you want,” “Nah, ‘m up now. Bathroom?” “Just through that doorway over there.” Roger nodded his thanks as he yawned and, rubbing his eyes, headed off. You grabbed the last of the, now cold, pizza and the wine glasses and followed him towards the kitchen, dropping the leftovers on the bench before turning to stick the kettle on. When he returned to the kitchen he looked marginally more alert, hair not quite the bird’s nest it had been when he woke. He dropped a kiss to your temple. “D’you want breakfast?” you asked, peering into the fridge, “I can do eggs on toast.” “Only if it’s no trouble,” “Not at all,” you grabbed the carton of eggs and the butter before you closed the fridge, “if you make the tea.” “I can do tea. Make a pretty good cuppa if I do say so myself.” “So you’re a tea connoisseur now?” “Never said that, where do your mugs live?” “Cupboard on the left,” “Ah ha,” there was a tinkling as he pulled out two, “All I’m saying is I’m good at making tea.” “Rog it’s adding boiling water to bagged leaves, not sure you can be bad at it,” “Well tell that to John. He’s a fantastic bassist but Jesus every cuppa he’s ever made me has tasted like shit.” You laughed, glancing away from the stovetop to watch Roger move about your kitchen like he belonged there. True, that might have been to do with how similar your kitchen was to his, most of the student accommodation in the area having the same basic layout, but it was nice all the same. “How do you take it?” “Uh,” your first thought was something entirely too inappropriate for so early in the morning, “dash of milk, two sugars,” “Coming right up.”

“So,” you said, dragging the word out as you brought your plates down to the table, Roger already there with the mugs of tea. “So, what?” Roger imitated your lengthened word, an amused lilt to his voice. “Dunno, you got any plans for today?” “Meeting the boys a bit later, band stuff. Might try and squeeze in a nap at some point. No offence but your couch isn’t overly comfortable to sleep on, although the cute girl using me as a pillow did help,” You giggled as he nudged your foot with his, it really was unfair how attractive he looked even when ruffled from a night on the couch. “What about you? Any plans?” “Oh, uhhh,” you didn’t have anything specific but couldn’t very well tell Roger you’d kept the day open in case he’d wanted to stay in bed with you for the better part of it, “Think my friends said something about going out for coffee, so I’ll see if they’re still keen for it.” “Oh yeah? Do these friends know about me?” “They know I’ve kind of had a thing going on and they know I was avoiding a particular guy for a while, but I haven’t, like, actually told them about you yet. Wanted to wait until I knew we were going to be okay, y’know?” “Yeah, I get that.” There was a moment of almost silence, the only sounds those of your knives and forks scraping across your plates. Your brain was suddenly much louder than it had been a second before, full of thoughts about whether or not you should tell your friends about Roger when you saw them, nerves about theoretically introducing them to him and then, oh god, introducing him to your family, having to meet his, all the stuff that a proper relationship would mean, all the stuff you’d been trying to run from when you’d cancelled that date. But there wasn’t really any way to go back now without everyone getting even more hurt than last time, he’d twice now said he was falling for you and, though you hadn’t vocalised it, you thought maybe you were falling for him too. But of all the thoughts jumbled in your head, the loudest by far was the realisation you’d be going another day without getting laid. It was torture. You’d got so close last night and god you wanted it so much. You had a brief vision of sweeping everything off the table, plates and cutlery hitting the floor, and Roger instantly pushing down your pants and lifting you onto the clear surface, his fingers slipping into your underwear and - Roger broke the silence and pulled you from the fantasy, “If you wanted you could come over tonight. I’ll make you dinner,” You shook your head to clear it, “really? “Yeah, really. I’ll even let you rummage through all my junk like I went through yours,” “Sounds fun, I’ll be there,” “Cool, uh, I think I should get home around three-thirty, so any time after that.”

Roger helped you tidy up the dishes before he left, another lingering kiss your souvenir, in addition to the desperate need to get off. You attempted to kill some time doing just that, but nothing seemed to be enough. It wasn’t Roger. You wanted Roger. And as lovely and terrifying a sentiment as that was, it did mean you had to go to meet your friends completely worked up and wet. When you told Roger later, sleepily blurting it out while curled up in his arms that night, he chuckled and, though it was dark, you could tell he was grinning. The same grin he’d been wearing when you knocked on his door that afternoon. “Is Freddie here?” you asked as he led you towards the couch. “No, just us. I’ve kicked the others out for the night. Freddie’ll end up staying with Bri or John, they were still arguing about it when I left them.” “Arguing?” you fell into the seat beside Roger, toeing off your shoes and curling your legs up under you, angling your body to face where he was leaning against the arm of the couch, one leg bent in front of him, one touching the floor. “Something about John’s girlfriend, I think, or maybe it was Brian’s roommate? I don’t know, I didn’t hang around to listen, they’ll sort it out,” he waved his hand dismissively, “But that means more food for us.” “So what are you making me then?” “Well, actually,” he glanced away, hand slipping into his shirt to rub his shoulder, “was thinking I’d order some takeout. There’s really nothing to cook with in the fridge and I’m a terrible chef anyway. I could offer you toast but the chance of it being edible is about fifty fifty. But there’s the chippy a few streets away or, um, an alright curry place, whichever you prefer.” “Fish and chips sounds good. I’ve eaten nothing but cake and coffee today so anything savoury would be brilliant really.” “So your friends were free then? How’d it go?” “Yeah, really fun. You might have been mentioned once or twice,” “Only once or twice?” “Once or twice is practically unstoppable gushing for me. They’re both insisting on meeting you, by the way, so that’s something to look forward to I guess,” you scrunched your nose up in discomfort. “I’d love to meet them,” he said, taking your hand leaning towards you, “And you’ve got nothing to worry about, they’ll love me. I’m very loveable.” You let yourself relax as you laughed, Roger joining in as he pushed a strand of hair behind your ear, fingers trailing down your jaw, kissing you softly.

It should have come as no surprise that you’d end up making out within minutes of arriving. The weeks since you’d last slept together plus the unfulfilled tension from the previous night all boiled down to a neediness you couldn’t remember feeling with anyone else, the soft kiss fast becoming firmer as you found yourself underneath Roger, fingertips digging into his back. He was grinding against you rhythmically, your skirt pushed further up your thighs, trying to pull you tighter against him, breathing getting more ragged with each passing moment. It felt good but there were too many clothes in your way, you needed more. A whine fell from your lips unexpectedly. “Someone’s a bit desperate,” Roger said, tone vaguely mocking, giving you just a hint of the teasing control he usually showed you, “should we move this to my room?” “God yes,” He grinned and planted another kiss against your lips before he pushed himself to his feet, pulling you up by your hand, not letting go until you were standing in the doorway of his room. It was similar to your own room in that it faced the back yard, a big glass door leading outside. The biggest difference was the curtain, open to let the sun in but no doubt it actually existed. Roger dropped your hand to cross the room and you turned your attention to the rest of it, tempted to rummage through his belongings the way he’d examined yours. If you hadn’t been so worked up you would have but instead you stepped into the room and glanced around, killing time until Roger was back against you. It wasn’t neat but it wasn’t as messy as you’d been led to believe it would be and you wondered how long he’d spent tidying it. The bookshelf wasn’t full and yet not all the books were lined up, some of them stacked in uneven piles, some leaning against others, no discernible order to them, though you could spot a few titles you recognised from your own collection. His desk held a stack of textbooks and a few loose pages of handwritten notes, and you could easily imagine him hunched over as he studied, scribbling down things he recognised as important even if his tired eyes and brain couldn’t fully comprehend them. Your gaze had just fallen on the neatest part of the room, his collection of records all meticulously lined up and just begging to be rifled through, when a noise drew your attention. Roger checked the back door was locked and drew the curtain over it, blocking out the view of the back garden and the natural afternoon light. Your stomach did a flip. “We, uh, we’ve never had so much privacy,” you tried to make it sound like a joke, though you weren’t sure you succeeded, suddenly feeling too nervous to speak properly. “Yeah, s’pose that’s true,” he gave a small half shrug and took the few steps towards you, stopping just in front of you, “but that’s okay. We’ll make it work,” and then his lips were on yours, the rough neediness almost forgotten as he held your face, reassuringly rubbing his thumb over your jaw. It helped you relax again, stoking your desire though you couldn’t help thinking things would be vastly different with an empty house and closed curtains. Your fingers fell to his belt, blindly struggling to unbuckle it, but Roger grabbed your wrist. “Hey, there’s no rush, okay?” “I know but it’s been so long,” it wasn’t a lie, it had been far too long, but that wasn’t the only reason you wanted to speed things up. You didn’t mention that you were nervous about your dynamic changing with the privacy, worried it wouldn’t be as good if you weren’t being controlled or degraded or performing for someone. “So you won’t mind waiting a little longer then,” You whined as his lips brushed over your neck, his hands still holding your wrists, “Please, I need you,” “Patience, love. First time I’ve had my slut all to myself, can’t blame me for wanting to take my time.” Your breath hitched at the name and the casual way it was said, not expecting to hear it when you were so closed off from the world and he was being so deliberately, infuriatingly, slow. It made your head spin. He let your wrists go, moving his hands to your shirt and pulling it up over your head, fingers trailing softly down your sides to toy with the waistband of your skirt. “Good girl for wearing this, you’re learning.” The praise made you shiver but it was nothing compared to his touch. Every light brush of his fingers made you want him more, had you almost vibrating with need, but he refused to speed up or even touch you where you most wanted him. And you melted into it, hovering on the edge of begging, surprised at how easily he could play you but not really surprised at all. Yes, it was just you and Roger with no one to see or overhear, none of that tension you loved so much that came with the possibility of being walked in on or caught out. But you didn’t miss it.

Your hands once again slipped to his belt and this time he let you undo it, taking the chance to tug his own shirt off as he kicked the discarded pants across the floor, before he slipped your skirt down your legs, kneeling as he did so, leaving a single big bruise on the inside of your thigh. He leaned back to admire the mark and you stepped out of the material pooled around your feet. For a fraction of a second you thought he was finally going to give you something real, his breath ghosting over the front of your underwear as he leaned towards you, still looking up at you, blue eyes glinting. “Hop on the bed, love,” He chuckled as he pushed himself to his feet, listening to you whine and curse even as you did exactly what he told you to. You didn’t stop complaining until his weight was over yours again, your legs trying to wrap around him and pull him against your throbbing cunt. He just held your legs down and laughed softly, “You’re still just a desperate slut aren’t you. Little bit pathetic how much you want me after a couple of weeks without. But no, you don’t get my cock that quickly. I told you I want to take my time.” “You want me too,” you whined, sounding nowhere near as convincing as you’d hoped, “I can feel how hard you are.” “Yes, I want you. Of course I do, love, been thinking about it since you came over the other morning.” Roger resumed the grinding he’d started out on the couch, dragging his cock along your folds, still too many layers between for you to be satisfied. It was torture, but no matter what you tried he wouldn’t give you more, “But there’s this little thing called delayed gratification, you might have heard of it.” “You’re such an arsehole,” you half whined, half laughed as he chuckled into your neck, doing his best to leave you with another mark. “Well, yeah. That’s not news. Maybe I’ll let you have my fingers though, since you have waited such a long time,” “Please, I need something, anything,” “Add ‘begs easily’ to the list of things I love about you,” he left a kiss against your neck and then shuffled backwards. He paused, glancing down to your underpants and then back to your chest. “What?” “You’re still wearing a bra. Can’t have that.” “Oh,” you giggled, “easily fixed,” you sat up and quickly unhooked the clasp behind your back, shrugging it from your shoulders and adding it to the clothing that littered the once clean floor. “Thank god for easy fixes,” Roger said softly, pushing his fingertips against your shoulder until you leaned back far enough for him to drag his tongue over one nipple. “Hey, you said fingers,” you whined. “You said anything,” he grinned back at you, “but I guess fingers could work too.” You hissed when he pinched your other nipple and pulled on it, gently biting on the first, “Rog, please,” He ignored you in favour of dipping his lips to the inside of one breast, sucking at the skin until another purple bruise formed.

Roger shuffled back further and you squirmed at the thought of finally, finally getting what you needed. Just the motion of him hooking his fingers into your underpants to pull them down had your stomach tightening with anticipation. As soon as they were free of your legs he held them up, “soaked,” was all he said before they too were discarded and he was settling into place between your legs. You could feel his warm breath against your pussy as he dragged a single finger between your folds, a whine escaping you as your frustration grew. And then the finger was slipping inside you, so easily it made Roger whine himself. “God you really are soaked. I was just teasing before but Jesus,” “M-more,” was all you could think to say, stuttering it out as you bucked your hips. “Patience, love,” he reminded you but added a second finger, pumping them into you slowly, still not enough. Your back arched as you tried to readjust your position so he’d hit the spots you knew he could but he just placed his other hand on your thigh, stroking you softly until you relaxed again. “Tell me what you want, love,” “More, please,” “More of the same? Just my fingers?” “N-no no,” “Then tell me,” “Your cock, please, want you to fuck me now,” the sentence devolved into a whine as he pulled his fingers from you, pausing to push off his underwear, and crawled back up the bed, hovering over you. Once again you tried to wrap your legs around him, arms around his neck to pull him closer, but this time he didn’t stop you. Instead Roger lined himself up and sunk into you, as easily as his fingers had, his hands slipping up to your sides. He dropped his mouth to your neck and then your jaw and then your lips as he slid his arms under your back to hold you tight. “My good, patient, girl. Fuck your cunt feels so good.” he said softly, quickly finding your lips again as he fucked you steadily. You whimpered at the praise, finally getting what you’d so badly wanted as you clawed at Roger’s back, making sure he wouldn’t pull away too far. Though he’d started off intentionally slowly, deliberately working you up before he’d even finished undressing you, now that he was finally inside you, finally where you both wanted him to be, he’d lost all of his methodical pace. His hands were on your back and then one was on your arse and then your breasts, unsure where he wanted to touch you most. He was kissing you passionately one moment and the next he was whispering filth into your ear, praise and degrading names alike, thoughts broken up by small hickeys sucked into your skin. The second it occurred to him that something might drive you wild he was doing it.

It didn’t take long for you to cum, so much pent-up desire coursing through your bloodstream that you fell over the edge easily when he hitched your leg higher on his hip. It changed the angle he was hitting you just enough to have him rub against your wall, a jolt running through you and stealing your breath. “So pretty when you cum, can you show me again?” You nodded, unsure you’d be able to form words if you tried. Small aftershocks were still making you whimper into Roger’s shoulder and yet you could feel the same tingly warmth building again already. “Oh,” the sharp sound escaped you when Roger’s thumb brushed over your clit, his breath hitching as you clenched around him, “Rog, god, ke- keep doing that,” He brushed your clit again and smiled as your head fell back, a low moan tumbling from you when he began rubbing it properly. All you could hear was rough uneven breaths, not sure they were yours or Roger’s, the sound dulled under your heart beating in your ears. And then suddenly you were there again, moans getting louder as you crept closer to the edge and fell over it. Roger’s eyes were squeezed shut as he thrust into you a few more times, extending the ecstasy you felt until he hit his own climax, coating your walls and gasping in your ear.

For a while neither of you moved, just lay there trying to clear your foggy minds. When he realised he was still laying on you, Roger carefully extracted himself and rolled onto his back, an arm stretched out, inviting you to cuddle up close. You did, humming lightly when he gently rubbed your arm. “So, was that good? Even with the closed curtains?” “Mmhmm, might go so far as to say unbelievably good.” “Any other adjectives you wanna throw out there? Mind-blowing maybe? Or Incredible? The best you’ve ever had?” When the giggles subsided, Roger continuing a little more seriously, “I really liked it too, y’know, having my girlfriend to myself and all.” You’d been expecting to feel anxious when the G word eventually got used. After all, it represented so much of what had made you nervous enough to run away, what still made you nervous about dating and what it might eventually lead to. But there wasn’t really any anxiety or worry when you actually heard it, maybe a small pang in your stomach but you barely noticed it. Instead you could have sworn your heart skipped a beat, “Girlfriend?” “Yeah,” you could hear the smile in his voice, “that okay?” You quickly flipped onto your front, bringing you face to face with Roger, “More than okay. Say it again?” “My girlfriend,” he grinned as he spoke and you felt an equally large smile stretch your own cheeks in response. “My boyfriend,” “Yeah, like the sound of that,” You kissed him hard, not quite believing how far you’d come since he’d first caught you masturbating or how much you liked being with him, dating him. “Y’know, I think we could fit in another round before we need to worry about dinner,” he traced his finger along your shoulder as if he were playing connect the dots with the hickeys he’d left you, “Two maybe. You always cum fast when I use you rough.”

#my writing #roger taylor smut #roger taylor x reader #roger taylor imagine #(lowkey have a couple ideas for blub/hc things maybe #)

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xmalereader · 5 years ago

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The Mandalorian X Eatherian Reader

|| Masterlist ||

Summary: Reader is from earth and stumbles upon the mandalorian, suddenly joining his adventures.

Warnings: Fluff, language

How they meet ;

It was finally Friday, Y/n was exhausted from classes and just wanted to get home and throw himself into bed, ignoring all of his calls and texts from hsi friends and just block out the world. It’s been a while since he’s last spoken to his parents, actually its been almost three years since he’s last spoken to them, he got lucky enough to still be in college before his parents cut him off, forcing him to work two jobs and late night shifts to earn the money he needed for his classes.

He doesn’t like it when others help him, it makes him feel weak at times but their are other times when he really wishes he could get some help. Just a little nudge is all he wanted.

Yet, here he is wandering around the woods in a black hoodie and dark jeans, he was wearing his favorite converse as he steps over some puddles and jumps over a few logs. After lessons he would take his usual walks in the woods, he enjoyed the smell of the trees and the after smell of rain. It relaxed him and brought him some good memories of his past, even though he was still trying to forget the bad ones. Y/n has his headphones on with music playing in the background, he tears off a branch from a tree and swings it around, finding a clean patch of mud he bends down to start drawing out random things that came into mind.

He was so focused on his drawing that he didn’t even notice a small like green creature approach him. The small creature stares at the young adult in curiosity, tilting his head to the side as his ears twitched, listening to the other hum and sing as he watched him draw in the mud. The small child slowly approaches and without thinking it reaches out to place its tiny hands on the mud in front of the adult male.

Y/n raised a brow in confusion at the strange small hand, looking up slowly his eyes widen. His eyes meet a pair of large black ones, panicking, he falls back on his bottom and quickly moves away from the creature. “What in the-“ before he began to ask himself questions he noticed the small green creature coo at him and giggle, his ears wiggling in excitement as he watched the others reaction.

“What the hell are you?” He asks softly and Sits himself up, he crawls over to the kid on all fours and looks at him up and down. “Hm, you are pretty cute.” He admits with a small smile, reaching out to take the child tiny hands into his own. Y/n didn’t seemed fazed by this, I mean he’s literally sitting in front of an unknown species that came form who knows where and its adorable as hell!!

“Whoa, easy...” Y/n whispered to the kid, it slowly finds its way in between his legs, sitting itself down on his lap and lets out a small squeak. Y/n chuckled at the kids little noises, he found them adorable to listen too. “Hate to sound rude or anything but where are you from?” He picks up the kid and removes him from his lap, setting him down in front of him and continue to exam him, hopping to find a hint of a known species.

As he reaches to touch the child’s ears he hears a mechanical voice say. “Get away from him!”

Y/n flinches in surprise and pulls his hand back, looking up to see a man, or what he hopes is a man, wearing an armor suit and helmet that covered his entire face. “I didn’t mean to touch him.” He quickly blurts out and stumbles to stand up.

The mandalorian held out his blaster towards the Earthian. He’s heard about these kinds of people and planet earth, he’s heard rumors going around that earth was a planet that was off limits to everyone, including the empire which surprised him the most. He’s heard the earth wasn’t allowed to be tracke doesn’t or put into their grids, no one had the audacity to visit earth but now that the empire was no longer around, who’s going to stop the mandalorian from trying to visit? The first night that he landed he made sure that he was quiet and unseen, he didn’t want to attract to many eyes and he was only going to be their for a short amount of time. He was simply going to check if their was anything that they could us for their next trip but of course, the kid suddenly decides to wander off without the mandalorian noticing. That damn kid always stuck next to him and now he suddenly decides to wander on his own? He spent hours searching for the kid only to find him interacting with an Earthian.

“I said get away from him.” His voice is full of venom, glaring under his helmet, he adjusts his blaster. The Earthian lets out a nervous laughter as he slowly stands up, “Look, I don’t want to cause trouble and neither should you so please, lower the gun, or whatever that thing is.” He held his hands up as if showing the mandalorian that he wasn’t going out hurt the kid.

The mandalorian steps forward and bends down to pick up the child, turning to look at the kid he frowns.”Womb rat.” He randomly says, earning a slight whimper in return from the kid.

Y/n was watching the two interact, taking this as his chance to make a run for it. He slowly takes a few steps back and glanced over his shoulder to find a quick way back home without causing any trouble and he also didn’t want to die, not yet. He takes another step backwards, “Don’t move.” He froze in place, hearing the mandalorian speak to him. Y/n turns to gaze at the man and bites his lip, “What is an Earthian like you doing out here?” The mandalorian asks in curiosity, he’s been staying in these woods for awhile now and he hasn’t seen any Earthians around which gave him the thought that Earthians hated the woods.

“Earthian?” Y/n raised a brow at the name he was given. “You’re not from around here are you?” He asks, ignoring the others question.

The mandalorian lowers down his blaster, “You Don’t know about us?”

“About us? About what?”

The mandalorian gave the Earthian a surprised look, everyone knew about earth and how it was forbidden to visit but he didn’t expect the Earthians to know nothing about them. “About the galaxy and other planets.” He responds.

Y/n could only give him a dumbfounded look, “I don’t think so, we only know that plants from Pluto to the sun so like,” he shrugs. “We don’t explore space as much since we aren’t that advanced.” Y/n lowers down his arms, noticing the other lower down its gun. “Look I don’t want to cause trouble, I was just walking around like usual and minding my own business until-“ he points over to the kid. “He randomly showed up, I didn’t hurt him, I may have touched his tiny hands but that’s it!” He quick says, defending himself before he could get himself killed by the strange guy.

The mandalorian holds the kid close under his arm, he gave the other a look before he puts away the blaster. “Your not from around here are you?” Y/n suddenly blurts out.

“And you don’t know anything about us.” He said back.

“Okay listen child, if you could explain to me everything in a better way then maybe I can help you or something.” His sass was showing as he leans against a tree with his arms crossed, a frown covering his face.

The mandalorian was taken back by the guys sudden sass, he felt offended when he was sudddnely called a ‘child’ when he wasn’t. “What exactly can you help me with? You earthlings are considered weak and scared.”

Y/n gasps, “For your information I am not weak nor afraid! I can help with things wether they are big or small I can do it!”

“Can You repair a ship?”

The other stutters once he was asked if he knew how to repair a ship. “W..what kind of ship?” The mandalorian lets out a deep sigh and turns around to head back towards his own ship, expecting Y/n to follow behind him as he carries the child back to their ship. Y/n follows close behind the strange man, he grips his shirt softly and looks around, his eyes landed on a large ship which caused his eyes to widen. “Holy shit—“ he breathes out in shock.

He examined the ship, walking around in circles, he gently touched the metal and breaths out a gasp. “Holy crap this is real, this is actually real.” He chuckled out. The mandalorian set done the child and allows him to roam around but close enough for him to see where he was gong. “Think you can fix it?”

“Fix it?” Y/n raised a brow. “Where ever your from, this thing probably has something that earth doesn’t have. I mean, Look at it!!” He held his arms out and gestured towards the large ass ship that he was standing next too. “I know a little bit about machinery and engineering but what you have here is nothing compared to earth, its like...different.” He shrugs and exams the side of the ship and ran his hand through some black liquid, “This isn’t fuel is it?” He question with a worried look on his face. The mandalorian sighs in disappointment, he was stuck on this planet for who knows how long. He has to get off of it and quick. “Can you try to repair it?” He ignores the others questions, he was desperate to get going.

Y/n bites his lip, glancing around before sighing as well. “I can try but I cant keep any promises that it’ll work well.” He warns and pulls out his phone to check the timing and his schedule. “Your lucky that I don’t have any classes tomorrow or else I would’ve spent the rest of my weekend watching movies.”

The mandalorian could only stare at him from under the helmet, confused by what the other was saying, he decides to ignore it and not question it. “Just get the material you need to fix it.”

“JUsT gEt tHe mAtErIaLs—“ Y/n mimics back with a slight tone of irritation. “Ill get you your damn materials.” He hissed back. The mandalorian glared back, this guy was slowly getting on his nerves. “Just do it.”

“Of course, sir.” Y/n puts his pone away and looks up at the sky, “It’s almost twilight, Best I get back home. I’ll come by early in the morning with the materials to fix your ship and then after that you can continue on with your journey or something.” He shrugs. “So do me a favor and keep yourself hidden because humans on this planet around so friendly with things they’ve never seen before, especially with the kid around. If anyone comes by and sees him, they wont hesitate to hurt him.” He explains in warning. Earth may seem peaceful but it was actually hell for Y/n.

People were getting killed everyday and wars were raging on everywhere and society was just getting worse. He feels a little envy towards the man, Y/n sighs while slipping his hands into his pockets. “Ill see you in the morning oh, and one last thing, what’s your name?” He asks.

The mandalorian was fixing up his bag that was sitting outside of the ship. “People call me Mando.”

“Seriously? Mando? You know if I’m going to be helping you then I might start calling you bob or something.” He cocks his head to the side. “Mando is fine, nothing more.”

“Whatever you say.” Y/n rubs his face and groans. “Anyways I’m gonna get going and you better take my advice also my name is Y/n in case you were wondering...bye now.” He waves goodbye and began to head back, following the trail that lead him to the main streets.

The mandalorian watched the other leave, he turns to speak to the kid. “Earthlings are very strange espically the way they talk.” He earns a small giggle in return from the kid.

#male reader #the mandalorain #the mandalorian x male reader #dyn jarren x male reader #dyn jarren #reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x male reader

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valkyriesryde · 5 years ago

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Hella Feelings {10/?}

Chapter 10: Bubblegum Bitch ~ MARINA

Pairings: Bucky x OC; Sam x OC

A/N: Chapter ten my lads we’re almost there (eyes emoji). THIS IS A COLLAB WITH @stuckonjbbarnes

Warnings: language, awkward encounters, a lottle bit of flirting, dumbasses doing dumbass things, alcoholic consumption

Word Count: 1008

Previous Chapter ~ Masterlist

~~~~~~~~

“It’s finals week...you know what that means Nessa…” Holly pushes the cart with Sam by her side.

“DRINK DRANK DRUNK. Let’s GOOOOOO” She laughs as they start putting various wine coolers and alcohols into their cart. Sam and Bucky had decided to tag along on the trip to the store and were now warily watching the girls load a basket full of alcohol and various junk foods.

“Did you want some protein to go with all that crap?” Sam asks, as Holly tosses in yet another bag of sweets.

“It’s finals...live a little, Sammi Sweetheart.” Vanessa laughs, tossing some twix bars into the basket.

“You ran out of nicknames...didn’t you?” Sam smirks at Nessa.

“MAYBE, HOP OFF MY DICK.” Vanessa glares, disappearing into the next aisle.

“She’s sensitive about the name thing…” Bucky explains, going after her.

“They’re so dating and when they finally come out and say it...I’m gonna say I told you so.” Holly hmphs, glaring at the two walking off.

“Yea alright Angel, you tell him.” Sam replies halfheartedly while trying to sneak at least one lot of fruit into the cart.

“I will!” Holly picks up the bag of apples and puts it back without comment. “Why do you call me angel?”

Sam fumbles, he’s not sure whether he should tell her because he’s pretty sure she’s a literal angel or “I don’t know, just a nickname. Do you not...like it?” Holly wacks him with a bag of chips before throwing it into the cart.

“If you ever stop calling me it I’d have to kill you, and Vanessa knows how to hide a body so...like...don’t stop?”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“When did you become an actress?” Bucky laughs, approaching Vanessa a few aisles over.

“When I decided I liked being able to sneak away from our best friends to make out.”

“She’s pretty and she’s smart.” He grins, wrapping his arms around her.

“And he’s very wealthy...we make some couple.” She giggles, leaning her head against his chest feeling the rumble of him laughing.

“I hate that you’re not letting that go.”

“Never in a million years, my love.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A day or so later, Vanessa is just settled into the couch, ready to study for her last exam before break. She’s in comfy sweats and someone’s hoodie, most likely Bucky’s even though the apartment is now filled with both guys’ stuff, as the four had pretty much started communal living between the two apartments. Just as she sets her mug of tea down and cracks open the textbook, the front door bursts open. Holly throws the door open as she stomps into the apartment, she’s huffing and she’s grumbling an obscene amount of profanities under her breath.

“Oh jeez..what now?” Vanessa asks, looking up from her textbook.

“SAM CAN SUCK A DICK!”

“I’ll text Bucky...he might be up for it.” Vanessa does text Bucky but she’s asking him if he knows what the fuck Sam did.

Meanwhile Bucky is sitting at the dining table in his apartment while Sam paces in front of him, “She’s out of her fucking mind!”

“Trouble in paradise?” Bucky looks at the text from Vanessa and sends back a shrug emoji because to be honest he’s no clue what the hell is going on.

“Fucking paradise? PARADISE! SHE WON’T EVEN BE MY FUCKING GIRLFRIEND DAMMIT!” Bucky so badly wants to say can’t relate but he remains quiet.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“He thinks he’s top shit I’ll fucking show him,” Vanessa watches Holly pull down the vodka, the baileys, the rumchata, the liquers...uh oh.

“Holly...think about this...it’s only 2 in the afternoon...we have class tomorrow-” She slowly gets up from her seat and walks towards Holly who looks like she’s got a permanent scowl on her face now.

“Nessa, Nessa, Nessa...HOW CAN YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT SCHOOL AT A TIME LIKE THIS?!” But honestly Vanessa’s really not sure what this time is… “I was having a GOOD DAY but nooooooo that fucking asshole comes in like oh Courtney was telling me about this and look at this meme Courtney sent me IF SHE’S SO FUNNY FUCK HER!” The top of the vodka bottle is flicked off and Holly takes a swig.

Meanwhile Nessa sends Bucky COURTNEY. WHO IS SHE?? And watches Holly, very concerned with how she’s supposed to get her studying done...when clearly she’s gonna be expected to day drink too.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“I didn’t even fucking do anything and she just starts brushing me off? Gets all snotty at me, who does she think she is?! Is this how you felt? THIS SUCKS!” Bucky rolls his eyes at Sam, his phone dings and he reads the text from Vanessa before he opens his mouth.

“Uh, who is Courtney?”

“Why the fuck is that important right now we’re talking about HOLLY!” Wow, he actually was friends with a dumbass.

“Did you happen to chat with someone named Courtney?” Sam’s about to respond but Bucky continues, “Did you tell Holly about this Courtney?”

Sam thinks for a second...then he sits down at the table and starts to hit his head on the table. “I’m” bang “a fucking” bang “dumbass.”

“THERE IT IS! So glad you came to that conclusion on your own.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“I DON’T EVEN CARE!” Holly yells, having repeated this about 20 times in the last hour. Vanessa just shakes her head, sipping her drink and turning up the newest playlist she made. Her Hella Feelings playlist pours through the Echo dot.

“This is so sad...ALEXA PLAY TRUTH HURTS.”

“YOU KNOW WHAT!” Holly jumps onto the couch and pulls out her phone.

“I don’t know what...but I’m sure you’re about to tell me.”

“DAMN RIGHT I AM! Sam thinks he’s so cool, well WELL” she’s doing something on her phone and Vanessa is slightly worried about what’s about to happen but also cannot wait to see.

“Gonna find me someone who actually wants to be with me, find me a fucking sugar daddy see how he likes it.”

~~~~~~

Hella Feelings Taglist (open): @cant-decide-at-this-moment @rinthehufflepuff @buckysmischief @sebbbystaaan @supraveng @hopingforbarnes @dumbubblegum @murdermornings

#hella feelings #marvel fanfiction #bucky barnes x oc #sam wilson x oc #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes angst #sam wilson fluff #sam wilson angst #marvel #college au

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dreamxsims4 · 4 years ago

Text

hit different...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJlMkMtK7-8

It is a quiet night. Each floor of the house hummed with white noise. Cedric played with Nasir, fed him, ran him a bath, and read him asleep all the while exhausted from a long day, hungry, and wondering how his wife was strong enough to handle Sir with a straight face for two years. He frequently pulled himself together after falling apart from chasing Nasir around, keeping him entertained and taken care of. He pulled himself up the stairs, lagging each leg forward. His head felt like a water balloon. “Shit”, he grumbled, patted himself down, “my phone”.

“Uh...huh,” Yvette stifles her cries. She’s trying to swallow the pain, she holds her breath and closes her eyes. While her husband took care of their child, she found herself cleaning up their room. They moved into this house after Nasir’s infant stage. There was no reason an infant toy would have been found under the bed. Nasir played with monster trucks, blocks, action figures... nonetheless Yvette’s discovery invited a heavy wave of sadness into the room. She cried silently thinking of her many failed pregnancy attempts. She had it all, a husband, a child, money, family, a happy life, accomplished goals, her own successful LLC, luxury living in her lap....but she couldn’t get pregnant. Not for one whole year. The chances that the doctor could say “sorry Yvette, but you can’t get pregnant at all, let’s look at your options”, was a very real, very big chance that she didn’t want to face.

Thump, thump, thump.... Yvette tries to wipe her face from snot and tears and cease her hysterical crying. She didn’t want Cedric to see her because she didn’t want him to get sad and stop trying. “Shit”, ... “my phone” she overheard his deep, sleepy voice. She got herself together and followed him downstairs. Staying in the room by herself by the baby toy would grant her access to more depression and anxiety. Nope.

“I don’t know if you know but, my spidey senses are tingling and they are normally right, especially about you,” he places his big hand on her forehead, “hmmm....mmmmm, you’re warm, you feel........sad”. He says jokingly. She did have a sad aura or energy about her, she couldn’t hide it if she tried. Cedric was joking but suddenly realized he was right. He knew immediately what it was about. He pulled her in, and gave her a big hug. He held her for a full minute, as if he could melt away the sadness that seemed to wrap her up within itself. “The doctors appointment is tomorrow morning...it’s 1 am, let’s get some good rest, okay?” She nods with her head pressed against his chest. “Let’s get high, that’ll help with the resting”, she suggested. He still held her in his arms as she looked up at him, he grinned, knowing good and well he could not handle getting lit and agreed.

“Well Mrs. Wood, I have good news and bad news about your situation.” Dr. Magnus speaks calmly to his patient. “Our team has ran tests closely, analyzed your pelvic exams, and taken blood tests. Today we are going to take a closer look at your ultrasound to answer your question about infertility.” He flowed through doctoral phrases with fluidity and no anxiety despite Yvette pulsating her nervousness into the room. “Which would you like to hear first? The good or the bad news?”

Yvette looks at the window, “the bad news.” The doctor continues with the news requested, “Well, the bad news is that your uterus is shaped oddly now, making it hard for a fertilized egg to implant, which is why you haven’t gotten pregnant.”

“The good news is that we can get you pregnant...” Cedric cuts in, “We?”. The doctor clears his throat, “with your help of course Mr. Wood”. Cedric doesn’t move, he gets very rigid and then relaxes, letting out a little scoff. “What’s the good news doc?” he asks bluntly knowing good and well Dr. Magnus literally just said the good news.

The doctor remains silent for a brief moment, demanding respect in the room. “I mean, if her tubes are shaped like a maze and my sperm can’t seem to find their way, then what is the good news?” The doctor is relieved and maintains his posture, “Ah,” he says.

“No seriously doc, but continue, I’m interested. Sorry about that.” Cedric falls quiet, he realizes he’s making an ass of himself and of his family.

“You were saying Doc...”

Dr. Magnus, “What’s the rush, if you don’t mind me asking? You already have a little one I’m sure he’s a handful.”

“Doctor with all due respect, how can I get pregnant?”

Cedric thinks to himself, “At least it wasn’t me, cant fix that”.

“So Dr. Magnus, if IVF is the next best option. How do we finance that? I heard it’s not like covered by insurance.” Yvette inquires her next option.

Dr. Magnus takes a deep breath in, “Well you guys, you’re right, it is an investment. IVF is a process that takes time, and it takes a toll on your body. But because of how selective the process is, and how controlled the decisions are, the chances of getting pregnant are 98%, especially in this case.”

Cedric, “That sounds good doc. How much are we looking at on the price tag?” Dr. Magnus, “You’re looking at roughly 15,000 simoleons Cedric. And like Yvette said, that is up front. Once the payment is finalized we can expedite the process immediately.” Cedric’s jaw drops, he can hear his heart beating and his palms are sweating. “Okay,” he says sternly, that isn’t a price he can debate with anyone. If Yvette wants to get pregnant, and IVF is her only option, then he feels it’s his duty to see that through. For better or for worse.

Yvette jumps forwards, “How much?” she is stunned, that’s her first time hearing the price. “You said the chances are 100% right?” The doctor corrects her quickly, “98%.” She is baffled, “So we are paying 15,000 simoleons with no insurance or refund policy for something that could go wrong 2% of the time? What if I’m the 2%?” She sits back and notices she’s thinking out loud. She looks at Cedric for an answer. He doesn’t say anything but his eyes are telling her it’s okay.

The doctor continues with the explanation of IVF and how it works as a fertility treatment. He talks for roughly 3 minutes and hands them a pamphlet to read. He asks them if they’re ready. Cedric, “When do we start?”

#sims #sims 4 #sims 4 stories #black sims #black sim pregnancy stories

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mistymark · 6 years ago

Text

the boyfriend one. [yuta]

full masterlist // part of the nct boyfriend series // 1.0k

okay so

tbh I kinda see yuta as a (pure) switch

like he's TOTALLY in love w you

but also like,,, not afraid to joke around with you

is Annoying Boyfriend

PDA is his best friend

personal space? yuta doesnt know her

he is always always a l w a y s touching you

PURELY THO

no sinners in our house

lots of playful banter

just bc yuta has The Greatest Sense Of Humour to date

he'd catapult himself onto ur bed to wake you up then be like

“I’d offer you breakfast but you didn’t make any”

but you'd be like “its okay im not hungry”

“WHAT COME ON”

*muffled giggling*

OH!!!! AND!!

the babe incident:

y’all are chilling w The Bois (tee em) and aw :( time for yuta to go :((

anyways so he gets up to leave all swagger and Chill

“okay bye see you tomorrow”

and instantly ur CACKLING

bc this boy

this MOTHER TrUCKER

couldnt call u babe in front of his friends

*deep voice* “okay bye see you tomorrow YOU DIDNT WANNA SAY BABE IN FRONT OF YOUR FRIENDS CALL ME BABE CALL ME BABE-”

and then he'd start laughing at u bc ur impersonation of him is lowkey cute

but he'd be shutting the door and just call out “OKAY OKAY BYE BABE I LOVE YOU”

and he's like oh SHIT

no no no this cannot be happening it just slipped out im sorry

ur like o.O

this is not something that has happened before

“did you-”

“NO”

“im pretty sure-”

“NO you must have misheard I said I love… fruit?”

*unimpressed* “you hate fruit”

“thats ten” - doyoung, unhelpfully, from the other side of the door, circa 2019

“I’ve had a recent revelation that maybe I don’t dislike it as much as I believed”

nakamoto yuta LOVES you

and he just said it for the first time accidentally in front of ALL OF HIS FRIENDS

ur shy

and hes super embarrassed bc he wanted it to be said in a cute way for the first time

and ur shocked

but u dont want him to suffer alone:

“I love you too.”

blushing

bLuShinG

BLUSHING

this boy sends u the CUTEST GRIN

then completely dips

(it was also after this point that he began to feel okay calling u babe in front of the other members)

y’all go shopping a lot

but he also likes to join you when you go grocery shopping

likes to ride around on the trolleys as u do all the actual shopping

oh my god and he is That Kid that sneaks things into the cart when ur not looking

so one day y'all are out grocery shopping

getting that bREAD

and he's wearing this green hoodie, and ur wearing blue

*picks up lettuce* “this matches my outift”

then ur like oh!!! cute!!!

so u grab the first blue object you see in the cart

and ur like !!! this matches MINE!

and this boy

literally falls over he's laughing so hard

ur confused

ur like ????????? what

so u glance at the packet and immediately u drop them

as if theyre like poison or something idk

because “OH MY GOD WHAT ARE CONDOMS DOING IN OUR CART”

I feel like yuta is either a person who is completely apologetic or completely unapologetic

he’ll either find it hard to apologise and wont do it at all, or will apologise for everything

I mean, you'd realise this and wouldn't push him about things - you’d know he's sorry either way

but totally making him apologise for putting cONDOMS IN OUR CART THAT WAS THE MOST EMBARRASSING THING EVER OH MY GOD

but he's also all about the small gestures too

really likes to SHOW his love more than say it

unless its winwin

he always brings you coffee and tea

when ur working or studying or just really tired

and then he'd pull the whole:

“I brought you coffee. just the way you like it.”

*confused* “hot?”

“like your boyfriend ;)”

ALSO

“wow the sky is so beautiful”

“you know what else is beautiful”

“what? :D”

“me”

overall tho hes a total sweetheart

probably takes u on the cutest dates

likes fun dates

amusement parks, arcades, mini golf, etc.

but if its like

later than 2pm he’ll refuse to go out

so you'd just cuddle and play video games or board games or something

really tries to impress ur family

probably comes over and brings flowers

you're like !! aw !! yuta !!

and he's like nah fam these arent for u ur ugly lol

but then he sees ur mother and he's like :))) hi :))))) these are for you :))) uwu

once he knows ur family loves him

he boasts about it all the time

“yo y/n ur mum invited me to dinner”

“?? when?”

“Wednesday? I know u cant make it you wont be missed lol”

especially to the other members

and if one o them is in a relationship ??????? bonus points

“guys y/n and I are couple goals,,, her parents are practically begging me to marry her”

“is this because they said you should come to their neighbour’s bar mitzvah??”

“shut up jaehyun ur irrelevant only people who are dating can #ContributeTheirOpinions”

OKAY ENOUGH JOKES

yuta is actually so gorgeous and I love him to pieces

probably gives you all his clothes bc he thinks u look hot wearing them

texts you at the most inconvenient times (e.g. during meetings, lectures, exams, classes, etc.) and claims he “forgot” you were doing something important

when he can see u from across the room he’ll text u something sappy like “you look beautiful” or “I love you” just to see the way your face lights up at his words

slut for putting his hand on ur thigh when ur sitting next to him

sometimes he doesnt even notice himself doing it

you'll just sit down and he's like yep hand + thigh = happy yuta

looks at ur lips

its kind of a giveaway that he wants to kiss you

its hella subconscious tho and the first time u pointed it out he got all smiley and embarrassed

like he didn’t know he had a habit of staring at ur lips when he wanted to kiss you

and it was a dead giveaway if u were playing video games in the lounge room and he’s laughing with you and then suddenly he’s staring at your lips

you Know what he’s thinking about

“Yuta,, stop” “????? I wasn’t ?? Doing anything??”

has a selfie of the two of you as his home screen background

and a random photo he took of you as his lock screen

it changes regularly tho

because he “cant pick a favourite”

FaceTimes you often

like prefers it over texting or calling

bc he gets to see you as if ur with him

and its :(((

but u see each other a lot anyway so what is he on about

u think its just bc he likes to screenshot u when ur pulling ugly faces or brushing ur teeth

its really because he really just enjoys looking at you

probably screenshots all ur snapchats

but only the ones where youve just woken up or pulling the worst faces

keeps them all

“YUTA OH MY GOD WHY DID YOU SCREENSHOT THAT I LOOK AWFUL” “no you look cute :((”

tbh his social media is probably filled with selfies of you two from way too close

like pulling crazy faces in pics with you that its hard to get a selfie with him just smiling nicely

but every photo you have taken of you together by other people look like your both about to walk a red carpet

truly visual couple

instantly smiles when u walk in the room

and probably gets offended when you dont immediately go to him when you enter

like who could u possibly need to talk to more than him

#rude

nah but seriously he loves seeing u

and when ur happy

oh boy

he's happy too

grinning at all times

what a babe

like LITERALLY

ALWAYS SMILIGN AROUND YOU AND MY HEART EXPLODES WHEN I LOOK AT HIM GOODNIGHT

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unproduciblesmackdown · 6 years ago

Text

oh the other day there was this quote “conversations they Thought they were having behind my back” and i was like oh lmao what a mood, Oh the scores and scores of remarks i’ve been aware of that ppl thought i wasn’t....funnily enough sometimes it counts even in terms of things people say to your face, ugh, like, yknow when they make some Joke or say something kind of sarcastically or Sure Jan-ly and you can tell they don’t think you can pick up on it. a joy always

like every other day of my life i think of the stretch of time i was living that Working Homeless life and at the ends of my shifts i’d use my employee discount to get probably my one meal of the day and take it to the corner and sit quietly on my phone so i could use the wifi to talk to buddies & generally taking up one cubic yard of existence, for some reason one or two coworkers would come up with this running joke to be like “you’re still here? go home” lmao and im like, well what would i say to that anyways? mind your own business is what i should have said lol but like. they werent even necessarily trying to be outright Mean but it was still like, the vibe that b/c they didnt think i would Get a joke at my expense just cuz i didnt respond, the Amusement of subtly picking on the weird kid or whatever, etc. and i’d be like well i am getting my calories up so im not fatigued tomorrow and engaging with the outside world the one way i really can and im putting off going outside a little longer because its winter.....not like i can be like “cant go home b/c i dont have that” b/c i didnt know it wouldntve gotten me fired and i wasnt like, embarrassed, but i know v well plenty of people would suddenly take the bar exam and get judgy and i was already dealing with enough weird lowkey contempt from randos, thanks. my only friends were The Other Gays and a couple managers who both transferred and a handful of other people and then on the other end of the spectrum you had the sorts of people like the one who said “wow can’t believe you let him do that” when i was sexually assaulted like 10 min before my shift started so i was all pissed off and stressed when i came in and later called me an idiot like several times way too seriously while i was taking a minute to reverse engineer the entire ice dispensing chute without being able to see what i was doing, or the guy who was weirdly an ass to like, everyone always, who “””accidentally””” called me the wrong name after seeing my legal name One Time months and months into everyone knowing me by my actual name.......i had Such a weird time, jobs are so unnecessarily shitty sometimes with like, none of it hinging on what you actually do.......the piece de resistance was the new gm pulling some real shit with me once and i shouldve walked out right then especially since i had to quit like 3 weeks later lol, i never quit a job rudely enough. always shouldve inconvenienced them even harder one last time. oh man and that one time the gm pulled some extra shit with me was im fairly sure the same day or very close to it when i had like almost $80 in pay they forgot to give me b/c i was the only person doing deliveries for the last like 3 hrs and i even worked up the nerve like a week later to be like “hey....the $74??” but it never happened. oh how i wish i quit more rudely!! all i did was stop going above and beyond for them. legit slowed everything down like 0.5 speed and stopped doing 90% of the shit i’d been doing w/o anyone having to ask. have fun. oh how many memories i have of people being crap to me there.....Alas

another middle of the day long story about Ugh That Was Trash, take notes!!! and my evil parents were not even involved, directly, at that time. unless you count that i was homeless because they were evil. anyways not everyone at work was crap and for as many people who were shitty to me there was probably at least almost as many people who were actually decent and cool. like the gay guy who, i delivered So Much Soup to a house meeting of local buddhists, and the one guy gave me materials and i was like thank you, and the others were like “oh we know your gay guy coworker jonathan!” and i was like oh fuck i love that guy!! and they were like oh my god have some food and i was like absolutely. and one person annoyed me but others did not and i talked to one girl named kyrie after the 80s song and she was like “ive been applying to your store” and i was like “just first things first tell them you have an open schedule thats their #1 thing” and like 2 days later i saw her and she was like yeah just did my interview, and then she was hired and everyone was like “that’s milo’s friend” and we were like we don’t actually know each other we just met the one time!! and anyways everybody pronounced her name wrong like “kī-ree” or just Kī or Kee but i knew to pronounce it keer-ee-ay because my mom was a catholic choir director so if someones name is from a latin hymn i’ve got it, and i’ve also gone to red robin with nuns like four times and baked cookies in the basement with another sister. thats about the most fun i got to have with catholicism, the end

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feenyreadscomics · 6 years ago

Text

Rosaries, The Fourth Part

So, if you missed part 3: TL;DR Matt and Steve try to save a kid. They fail, kid dies. This will be going into the effects of that. Matt is depressed, and self harm does come up. Skip this if you have to; I wont be offended.

Matt's head was throbbing. He woke up, slowly. His mask was still on his face.

That was a relief.

"Oh good. You're awake." The voice sounded familiar. Steve.

"Wh-where am I?" Matt responded.

"The Avengers tower. It was either that, or the hospital. Last I checked, you were pretty anti hospital, and Tony brought you here. You were pretty banged up. Tony ran a scan. Your pupils weren't responding to light. So, is your vision back?"

"Did they take off my helmet?"

"No." A steady beat. Good.

"How long have I been here?"

"A few days." Shit. Foggy was going to have his head on a platter. Served with parsley garnish. "So is your vision returning?"

"Unsure." Well, his radar sense, world on fire, whatever you want to call it.

"How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Three."

"Good."

Matt pursed his lips. "Hey, can I call a friend to pick me up?"

"Take it up with Stark. Or Dr. Banner. They've been seeing to your medical treatment."

"Can you get them?"

"Sure." Steve walked out of the room. A few minutes later, Dr. Banner entered.

"Can I go home?" Matt asks.

"Normally I'd let you go, but right now... I'm not sure if that's the best idea. Your head scans returned your eyes being unresponsive to light. We need to be sure that's managed."

"And how are you going to do that?"

"Eye chart. Do you have prescription eyeglasses?" Fuck. Matt can't bullshit his way out of it.

"Promise me you won't tell anyone?"

"Sure. Your prescription cant be that bad."

"NLP."

"NLP?"

"No light perception." Dr. Banner's eyes widened.

"You're blind?" Dr. Banner's voice raised. Matt wasnt looking forward to explaining that.

"Yes. Should I have picked Batman as a name? Or would that be too on the nose?" Matt smirked.

"I mean, it's not the weirdest thing that's happened considering I can turn into a green rage monster if I so choose. But still. Blind?"

"I use echolocation. My other senses are heightened. I'll fail any eye exam you give me, but if you toss things at me, I'll be able to catch them." Dr. Banner tossed a pen. Matt caught it with one hand.

"Ok, you're fine. I'll discharge you, if you have someone who can help take you home, and make sure you don't sleep too long."

"I've got someone."

A half hour later, Foggy came in. Matt was relieved to see (well, hear) him.

Foggy was instructed by Dr. Banner to make sure he healed up before letting him Daredevil again. Which, yeah, he needed to heal.

He needed to get better.

He needed to be better.

Or more people would die. He cant have anyone die. But six died under his watch.

So Matt cooperated. No going outside. Wake up every thirty minutes. Work on lawyer paperwork. Do some boxing. See if he can get stronger. See if he can get better. Be better.

Because if he can't protect everyone, why should he try?

Matt isnt getting better. He keeps losing, losing, losing.

Stick shows up. "You're pathetic, Matty, you know that?"

I know, Matt thinks. I know.

"So, we have a meeting with Mr. Smith tomorrow at-"

"Yes. We do. I know this. Please stop reminding me." Matt snaps.

"Matt. Are you ok?" Foggy has that tone of voice. The I Am Very Concerned Right Now tone. The We Need To Talk About This tone. Matt hated that tone.

"Look, I dont need your sympathy. I'll be there. Dont worry about me." Matt stormed out.

Foggy wondered what had happened to his partner.

Well, the Smith case was going to shit. Matt kept reading over the documents they had, looking for something.

Foggy walked in. "Hey Matt, could you-"

"I'm busy." Matt snapped, and turned his chair away.

"Oh. Ok."

Matt decided to put on the Daredevil suit for a bit.

He went out.

He got stabbed, and didn't even stop the attacker.

Matt went home.

They lost the Smith case. Horribly. Matt lit a lighter, felt the heat coming off of it.

He considered it. He put the lighter away.

Steve hadn't seen Daredevil in a while. He hadn't seen Matt either.

Priorities were Daredevil first. Daredevil was, after all, the most likely to be dead. Steve went over to Claire's. Claire hadn't seen him recently. Neither had Linda.

This was aggravating, at best. But if he could find the person who escorted Daredevil out, he might be able to find Daredevil.

Steve dialed the phone.

"Hey Tony, quick question: who was the guy that escorted Daredevil out of Stark tower?"

"Hang on, let me check," Tony responded. "Hey Jarvis, who escorted Daredevil out?" Was heard faintly in the background. Tony put the phone back to his ear. "A guy named Franklin Nelson. "

"Thanks Tony. I'll see you later." Steve hung up quickly. Steve headed to the library, and used the computer.

"Ok, first the colorful circle thing, then the bar on top...type in his name, and then the enter key... boom." Franklin Nelson ran a law firm with Matt... interesting. Franklin was obviously connected to both Matt (being Matt's partner) and Daredevil. Meaning if he finds Foggy, his odds of finding Daredevil and Matt dramatically increase. Steve clicks on a link, telling him the address of Nelson and Murdock. He gets a scrap of paper and pencil.

Steve gets on a bus headed to Hell's Kitchen.

Steve takes a deep breath, and knocks.

"Come in!" A woman's voice chimed.

Steve opened the door. Inside was a young blonde lady, with...well... her hair was... distinctive. Much volume. She wore a basic black pantsuit. She got up from behind the desk.

"Karen Page." Karen held out her hand. Steve shook it. "And you are?"

"Steve. Steve Rogers." Steve cleared his throat, as if to say something, then said nothing.

"Nelson is the only one in the office today," Karen Page babbled. "Would you like to see him?"

"Sure." Karen stood up from behind her desk, and lead him to Nelson's office.

Steve took a big breath and entered. A portly man was sitting behind the desk. He had light brown hair, a bit overgrown, and wore a very blue suit coat, with a very orange tie. Steve had thought his Cap costume was irritating to the eyes. This had to take the cake.

"Hello, I'm Steve."

"Hi Steve, I'm Fraklin Nelson, but you can call me Foggy. In fact, please call me Foggy." Franklin said. "What can we do for you?"

"This isnt particularly related to your firm, but I have had two friends go MIA who you seem to be connected to. Daredevil and Matt. I'm worried. Do you know anything?"

"Wait...you haven't seen anything of Daredevil? Not even in the news?"

"Yep."

Foggy standed up. "Well it's been a pleasure meeting you, but if you don't mind, I have to go."

"Wait, where are you going?"

"Possibly to beat up a blind man." Foggy closed the door.

"Karen, take the rest of the day off." Foggy said, as he exited the firm. Steve followed him all the way to Matt's house.

Guilty my fault always my fault my fault I killed him shouldnt be doing this someone forgive my my fault guilty what a shitbag fuckup you are, Matt, shitbag shitbag shitbag you're just a waste. Matt ran the flame you need to feel like you're hero, but you're not along the flat end of a knife. You shitbag Stick was right, you cant ever ever ever be useful He pressed it to his skin.

Breathe in. And out. Peace.

Apologies for it being so dark. Next part will have Foggy and Steve intervene, and hopefully introduce Bucky.

#rosaries #self harm #depression #matt murdock #daredevil #steve rogers #captain america

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ac-ars · 6 years ago

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easy

damn she is here, i couldnt write anything yesterday becauseeee i was at work and i had exam today and then i procrastinated but yes she is here

day 4 - “We’re roommates and we’ve barely interacted so far, but one night there’s a thunderstorm and I’m a serious astraphobic and come into your room shaking because I don’t know what else to do and you lull me to sleep by stroking my hair”

🌙

easy

Matteo can't really tell what wakes him up in the middle of the night. Was it a thunder or maybe the light on in the kitchen he can see, because he left the door of his bedroom open since it's been hot as fuck recently and the more air flow he can get the better. Anyway Lyra isn't really anywhere near him as she tends to, but maybe she is with Luna, who knows, his cat is a traveller since Luna moved in and he doesn't mind, but she is kinda scared of storms so he would love to have her here.

But the light is on in the kitchen, and despite the fact that he doesn’t wanna, he needs to go and check on whoever (most likely Luna) has a problem over there. Maybe she is getting her night snack? Though, this would be weird, because she decided to stop with this habit. He knows that mostly from the sticker on the fridge she probably put it and he can’t say he isn’t proud of her.

Matteo gets up eventually with a heavy sigh and stretches himself yawning loudly. He leaves his room and finds Luna in the kitchen with Lyra sitting next to her on the counter while the Mexican girl is making some tea.

“Can’t sleep?” he asks and regrets it immediately, because she jumps so much she almost throws her mug off the counter making Lyra meow.

“Jesus Christ Matteo Balsano don’t you dare to scare me like that, please,” she mumbles, trying to chill her breathing and closing her eyes for a moment. “Why are you here?”

“I would love to ask you the same question, did something happen?”

She hums playing with the spoon in the mug. “Not really, I just couldn’t sleep. Now why you?”

Matteo hums caressing his jaw. “Something woke me up and I noticed light on, so I decided to check what’s going on.”

Luna nods, not saying anything else, just focuses on the electric kettle until it turns off. This is all kinds of weird for Luna, who is usually all bubbly and talkative while now she said nothing to make a conversation.

They aren’t the best of friends, she actually isn’t living with him that long, she needed a place to stay for now, because she decided she can’t live with her best friend who keeps setting her up with every boy existing and mixing with her head while trying to give her some good advice. Matteo understands that it can be pretty annoying and Ambar said her cousin was looking for a place to live, actually a room, since she cant afford whole apartment. He actually needed someone to move in after Gaston gave up on Argentina and left to England without saying bye.

So Luna moved in with her mess and colorful stuff, leaving flowers everywhere and leaving books around. Surprisingly Matteo never minded that, she is still better than Gaston who kept telling him puns about every single thing in their apartment, and when at first it was just annoying, the puns itself, later it was too much the same jokes one by one and generally at the end Matteo wished him to choke on his dumb puns.

She is always in good mood, always singing something, and humming, dancing while cooking some basic shit, because for the love of the universe, she can’t cook at all. But now, here he has her, looking around anxiously and biting on her lower lip as she is pouring the hot water into her mug.

“Hey, you,” he murmurs and pokes her on the ribs when she puts the kettle away. “What is going on?”

She opens her mouth to say something, but another lightning blinks behind the curtains and her eyes shut close when she waits for the thunder to come. When it does she shivers and takes deep breath and Matteo guesses that she is scared of the thunder or something so he takes his arm around her shoulders. “Do you want me to stay with you here?”

Luna sends him a look, mixing her tea so the sugar can melt in there, and nods a little, leaning to his side. Lyra mrrows at them, making them laugh slightly and Luna looks up at him. “Do you wanna some tea too?”

Before he manages to answer, she already stands high, high on her tiptoes so she is the tallest Luna, and reaches to the high cupboard to get Matteo his own mug. She of course picks his favorite, what makes him smile. Without saying anything, just listening to the sound of the rain hitting the glass of the windows, he watches how she takes the tea and doesn’t put any sugar in the mug before pouring the rest of the water. He is kinda surprised with how quickly this girl picks up on others’ habits, always remembering what one likes and what they don’t, but that’s a very big pro of living with her.

He stands next to her, leaning his hips back against the counter as they wordlessly drink their tea and as surprised as Matteo is in this very minute, it’s such a calming time, where he can think of whatever he wants, while making sure Luna isn’t shivering anymore when a lightning strikes somewhere away from them.

“Do you want to know a secret?” he asks eventually, as he is done with his tea and Lyra jumps annoyed after he puts his empty mug on the counter next to her.

Luna scrunches her nose as she takes her eyes to him, maybe a little troubled to get out of her thoughts, but she hums encouraging him to speak more.

“I can teach you how to count the distance from where the lightning did strike.” He sends her a smile as she gasps surprised and jumps excited. “Yes, teach me. I wanna know.”

🌙

They are in the living room now, Luna’s tea half forgotten as they are standing by the window, his cold hands are on her shoulders keeping her steady, because now she seems excited instead of anxious, and that’s already blink of “his” Luna here.

He hums softly next to her ear to get her attention back to him and when she does he smiles. “Now we gotta wait for the lightning to appear somewhere so we can see it. When we do, you count seconds starting when the lightning hits, and you count until you hear the thunder. Is it clear?” he asks to make sure and Luna nods surely, while nibbling on her lower lip.

They gotta wait few minutes, but when it blinks, the brunette starts counting in her head and he knows it, because now her eyes are much more focused and her mouth are moving barely, but they are.

When the thunder sounds loudly she jumps, but he is holding her close, so she doesn’t seem to mind that. “How much was it?” he asks, resting his chin on top of her head.

“Nine, I think.” She turns to him and he leans her against the cold window and she pouts at him when he doesn’t answer at first. Such an impatient, soft soul. “So you have nine seconds and you gotta divide it by three, then you will get how many kilometers away from you the lightning did strike at first place. Well, more or less, but that’s helpful, you get to focus on something when the storm is somewhere around.”

Luna nods slowly and smiles a little at him. “Thanks, that actually calmed me down a bit here.”

“You haven’t told me you were scared of thunderstorms before, though. You could’ve and it would be easier since the beginning.”

She clears her throat and blushes tiny, before moving away from him and curling on the couch. He follows her, because why not, besides it’s easier to see her and hear her in the darkness and while the rain is getting heavier.

“I’m not really, really scared of the thunders tho,” she mumbles and Matteo frowns a little, resting next to her more comfy than not, but she doesn’t mind him so close. “I’m just paranoid after this movie I saw the other day where some lightning struck something, and it started burning, and I’m just the most terrified of fire.”

Her voice gets a little messy and quiet, and he just hugs her tightly, what apparently surprises her, but eventually Luna just hides on his chest and sighs. “It’s not something that keeps happening often, but Lyra was messing with my comforter to get cuddles so it kinda woke me up, and then there was this loud, super close thunder and I died.”

Matteo starts humming and playing with her hair as she talks and when she stops he just boops her nose. “Still, that’s okay thing to be afraid of, it’s not like I would make fun of you like I do when you sing loudly under the shower or wash your teeth while looking in the mirror. We all are scared of something.”

Luna hums and looks up at him. “Are you scared of something then?”

“No.” He laughs and she huffs. “But I am big Matteo and I’m here to hug you and make you hot chocolate when you are scared.”

“There was no chocolate yet, where is it?”

He laughs so much and pulls her closer. “Later. Now we shall sleep, since tomorrow is not a weekend and we both have uni and other important shit.”

Luna rolls her eyes and gets up, taking the blanket around her shoulders. As she is about to get into her bedroom, he just takes her wrist and pulls her back. “You don’t think I will leave you to sleep alone, even if you seem to be okay already.”

She hums, ending up just lacing their fingers together and following him. “So I’m gonna sleep with you in one bed, and we cuddle with Lyra until the storm is done?” Matteo laughs when she says it. Out loud it seems a little funnier, but yeah that’s what he is planning to do, but he doesn’t confirm or deny her words.

He takes the pillow, obviously, making her pout a little, but then he just pulls her to his chest, so she can rest like that. At first she stirs around, trying to get into some comfy position to stay in, despite the fact that he is sure she just needs to move around, because she wouldn’t be named Luna Valente.

Eventually she rests in one place, letting him pull a cover over them, Lyra mrrows trying to get somewhere between them, but when she doesn’t fit her tiny head anywhere, she just sticks by Matteo’s side letting him scratch her belly for a moment.

Luna sticks to him tightly, she obviously loves being touchy, cuddle, hug, whatever can someone give her as long as it’s physical closure, and there is nothing here except the need of someone else who is warm to hold her. Matteo knows it perfectly, he learned that she is just the type of person who is better comforted, when hugged.

He starts playing with her hair as he can’t really fall asleep, he wraps single strands around his fingers, tangles a little more than those curls already are, and in a few moments her lashes tickle him on the neck for the last time, and her breathing is finally stable.

🌙

Few weeks later, this time he isn’t woken up by the light, or Lyra, or the thunder itself. He just notices someone curling next to him under the sheets and hugging him tightly, so he guesses he can sleep and not try to shut the blinds on the window. The sleep comes back super quickly, he is lulled to very, very quiet sound of soft whispers with counting, and as long as she is here, he knows that she is all okay.

#soy luna #lutteo #lutteoficweek #my writing

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hyseok · 6 years ago

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Alone With You : Chapter One

Sure, today didn't go as planned, but really when does it ever? Note to self: stop accepting invitations to parties thrown by Jeon Jungkook, actually, lets just stop being his friend all together.

Let me take you back a bit. October 30th 12:45 am; me being as studious as I am, decided to stay in. Studying... slowly dying. You get it. I needed to cram for an exam that was planned just after Halloween. And you know what, I was happy in my little bubble, but of course why would the universe allow me to just have peace and quiet?

bam bam

I jerked my head toward my dorm door, "Who the hell is at my door at 12 in the morning?" Groaning, I head toward the door ready to cuss out whoever decided banging my door like the fucking hulk was a good idea. Then it clicked. "I swear to god Jeon if this is you I'm going to-" Of course it is. I swing open my door and sure enough, there he is, Jeon Jungkook, standing there leaning against the frame slightly. Eyeing him up and down I notice that he's not wearing the same black shirt and puma sweats he always seems to be wearing. Instead, he's wearing a black button up fitting perfectly with his black ripped jeans & of course, black boots.

He meets my gaze and smirks. "See something you like?" He says, ending it with a greasy wink. "You wish." I say, rolling my eyes as he pushes past me. Jungkook and I met in high school, I honestly thought I'd never have to deal with his greasy ass anymore but much to my surprise he got into the same university as I did. Lucky me.

"Why are you dressed like that anyway?" I say closing the door. "I thought your style was primarily 'Homeless person going through a lot'" I say not to far behind him, heading straight for the kitchen. Without even looking he hold his middle finger up. "Fuck you." I gasp, dramatically holding my hand up to my mouth. He rolls his eyes and continues "There's a party tonight.. speaking of which" He side glances me up and down and scoffs. "Why aren't you dressed yet?" I raise my eyebrow at that and he chuckles. "Come on now, I told you about this party last week... damn for someone so smart you'd think you'd be able to remember something so simple" He says reaching into the refrigerator, pulling out the last of my strawberry milk. "I didn't forget Jeon. I just merely CHOSE to ignore you." I say with a slight shrug. He grasps at his chest, his face contouring into fake pain. "You know Sara, that hurts." He says. "Anyway, you can't just sit here wasting away in a pile of books, You're coming." Jungkook has always been the type of guy to have the upmost confidence.

I guess knowing him as long as I have, I've grown to know all of his tricks and well, to put it simple. He gets what he wants, when he wants. "You're delusional." I spit back, walking past him, making my way to the the scatter of books on my coffee table when I hear Jungkook say something I hoped he never would. "Yoongi will be there." My body, as if someone pushed pause on a universal remote stops, slowly I turn to him. His smile is as wide as ever because he knows. He knows uttering those words he’s got me in the palm of his hands.

(Note to self number two: Never speak about who I am infatuated with around Jeon Jungkook.) But like I said earily, he gets what he wants. When he wants it.

So of course I went. Not without a few more snarky comments moving back and forth between Jungkook and I. Hurriedly, I put on a simple outfit. A black crop top, ripped Jeans and my favourite sneakers. I'm going but just so I can get some fresh air. You know.. get out of the dorm. Like a broken record this is what I told myself, what I repeated on the car ride to Park Jimin's house, where the party would be held.

Yes because of that, totally not because of him. Nope not because of Min Yoongi.

"SARA!!" Hoseok yells out the moment my foot hits the floor of the house that already seems to be busting through the seems with people. Making his way through the people to stand right in front of me. "Hoseok, Hi!" I say with a smile. Hoseok has always been so kind to me, a really good friend. I mean, he is quite goofy but I like that most about him. "Hey, Sara!" Seokjin, a friend I met through Jungkook. Says as he walks up to us with an orange disposable cup in hand. He goes to pass it to me and without a word, I take the drink from his hand and take a sip. "What the fuck?!" I say immediately after, the feeling of the liquor going down my throat is not pleasing at all.

"Oh sorry, forgot to warn you. That's vodka." Seokjin laughs. Sometimes it's hard to believe he's the oldest.

"Hey!! There you guys are." Jimin, the host of the party, and the one i’ve known the longest out of the entire friend group. I smile at him before noticing the two other guys walking behind him. "Hey shortie" Jungkook says. Jimin gives him a glare, Seokjin and I give each other a knowing look and back up slightly. We'd rather not be involved in another one of their... 'brotherly' fights again. Which honestly almost always end up with Jungkook having a bruised face and broken nose and Jimin having to deal with some type of broken bone for several months.

In the midst of the tension, I look past Jimin's shoulder and wave slightly at the two no one has seems to acknowledge yet. They look at me and smile, waving back, the blond one waving a little more enthusiastically, continuing to give me a very boxy grin. "Oh shit right, these two. This is Namjoon and Taehyung. I never got the chance to introduce you." Jimin says scratching the back of his neck. "Oh and this is Sara." He finishes, giving them a strange look I cant quite decipher. The two look back at me, then back to Jimin, finally meeting my gaze once more. "Nice to finally meet you." Taehyung says. "We've heard al-" His words are cut off by a quick jab in his side from Namjoon.

He stands there sheepishly, glances being exchanged back and forth and an awkward silence passes by which says a lot about the situation considering this is a packed house full of loud university students. There shouldn't be an opportunity for silences.

Finally, Seokjin breaks the awkward bubble we've constructed around each other. "Okay so, lets have some fun since everyone has met Sara now!" He says, Hoseok nods "Ill go get you a drink that won't murder you." He laughs as he turns to make his way to the drink table. When the others aren't paying attention, I look over at Jungkook, who surprisingly, hasn’t gone off yet to flirt with every female in the house. "Okay.. he's coming right?" I say quietly, fielding with my fingers.. He looks at me amused and shrugs. "He's always late to things like this" Not very helpful. "He'll be here," Is all Jungkook has the chance to say before he's swept away by a group of girls. Not too much time passes before Hoseok returns, solo cups in hand. He reaches out to hand me mine and I accept it.

After another awkward silence and about way too many bad jokes from Seokjin, everyone decides to split up. Walking through the house it's apparent that everyone is either; high on something, drunk out of their mind or trying to fuck in the middle of the living room. Fuck, this is why I wanted to stay home. I sigh and make my way to the living area. Deciding on just standing in the corner next to the stereo, I'm the outcast even at parties.

It's been about 2 and a half hours now, the one person I wanted to at least glimpse at just once is no where to be seen. "This is fucking pointless" I say, pushing myself off the wall. I put down the drink I haven't really touched since arriving and make my way to the kitchen.

The first person I see there is Jimin, standing next to a group of guys I don't know. I make my way toward him, tapping his shoulder. Slowly he turns to look at me. "If you see Jungkook tell him I left." I say immediately, not waiting for his response i turn to make my way to the front door. I just want to go home at this point.

"You're leaving so soon?" Jimin asks right behind me with a look of hurt on his face. "The party was great Jimin, really, but I'm not feeling it anymore right now." I say, pushing through the crowd of people grinding against each other. It's about fifteen seconds before he responds. By then we've already made it his front door.

"Didn’t you ride with Jungkook? Do you need me to go get him? Or I could call a cab for you" He asks, a hint of worry in his voice as I slip on my jacket. I shake my head. "No it's okay, I'll be fine to just walk." I say with a smile. "Tell Taehyung and Namjoon it was nice to meet them, try not to break any bones tonight." I finish with a final hug exchanged between him and I. I turn to make my way out of the door, it's about a 20 minute walk but I think it'll be nice to just enjoy the rest of the night. So I start my way down the vacant street.

Its only been ten minutes of walking yet the thoughts of why I even left my dorm in the first place flood my mind like a broken faucet. Maybe this crush thing has gone too far.. I wasted my night waiting for him. I could have been home sleeping or studying. This is never worth it but I always do it. For him. Why do I like him so much? Why exactly am I trying so hard?

I sigh as I look up at the moon. The night breeze feeling nice against my skin. "Maybe it's time to just stop trying.. right?" I whisper.

I guess so..

I let out a some what defeated sigh, I just need to go home and take a warm bath and sleep at this point. I’m about five minutes from doing just that now. Turning the corner, I can see my building now, and It finally starts to feel like this night is coming to an end.. Well that is until..

BAM!

[a/n: so...this is chapter one of my yoongi x oc au, dedicated to my friend who gave me the inspiration for it, I hope you guys enjoy it, idk how may parts it’ll have but im thinking 4-5?. Anyway, Chapter 2 will be out sometime tomorrow!! Thanks for reading. Note: I posted this on my wattpad also.]

#alone with you #min yoongi #yoongi x oc #bts writing #fan writing #bts #bts fanfic #yoongi #au

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burningalight · 4 years ago

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my binders/locker in grade school were stuffed with so much shit i couldnt find anything...always crumpled up papers, trash etc

chewed pencils/pens, broke them taking them apart in class, lost them, often didn’t have one, frequently borrowing them and forgetting to give them back to the point that certain people wouldn’t give me pencils

could comprehend reading i liked very well, but when we’d have reading groups with boring books id always be lost, or when the teachers would have one on ones and have u read something short and ask questions after to assess ur reading level, they’d often have to tell me to read it again bc they knew how much i remembered didnt add up to my intelligence and reading speed

moms college friend gave me an unoffical iq test and i did much worse than i know i shouldve on the reading portion bc she’d play a story and then ask me after to list every detail i could remember and i couldn’t remember anything. but when she played 10 numbers and asked me to say them out loud backwards i scored extremely high ?

couldnt do projects, would be in tears, last minute every time, parents mad bc i need a poster board RIGHT NOW ITS DUE TOMORROW . hated assigned reading, horrible at essays even when they helped us plan them.

i remember my 7th grade social studies teacher assigning a paper, i wrote extremely detailed and well in the first paragraph or 2, and the following ones got shorter and shorter and were completely bullshit bc i got bored. she told me ‘really strong first paragraph.’ and gave me a B

talk too got damn fast. customers constantly telling me to slow down bc they cant understand me

my mom always says she had to challenge me as a kid bc i would get bored and get in trouble. i was acting out bc i was understimulated, i happened to like learning (esp numbers and puzzles) bc smart so that’s what i could fixate on and felt stimulated by

lunch detention frequently in 8th grade in my first highschool class, algebra, bc i wouldnt do my homework, at one point he just stopped giving lunch detention for that bc i wouldnt do it. i hated that class bc the math was boring and i never paid attention but would somehow pull off a’s and b’s on tests so i ended up with a B. my first B, and i had brought that up from a D (told my mom it was almost a C, he gave a really hard test and we all did bad etc, when she had to sign a paper about my low grade) at the end of the year, during the exam i was so confused the whole time, it was my first highschool exam and i didn’t know ANYTHING. i ended up with a 92 from guessing, and a curve, and every one of my friends got at least a 93 or better and i felt so stupid bc i was supposed to be the best at math

i would take every highschool class in honors but not one english class bc it required more essays and summer reading and i knew i wouldnt do the reading and would cry over the essays

the only other class i didnt take honors was chemistry bc i knew the honors teacher had a lot of projects and i would be stressing over them. i ended up with an A in the standard chem class even tho i never finished any work in class and didnt do homework, but i was still the smartest in the class and did the best overall

lunch detention for forgetting to get papers signed like report cards. they weren’t even bad grades i just couldnt remember. one time i got actual detention for forging my moms signature bc i got lunch detention for several days straight bc i kept forgetting to get the paper signed

often had permission slips waiting to be signed the day before the field trip, or told my mom it was picture day the day before or morning of. one time i totally forgot it was picture day and didnt dress up

acting out and not thinking ab the consequences, many referrals.. many more times that my teachers let me get away with acting out when someone else doing the same thing would’ve been punished. one time anna and i left in the middle of class to go with emma to the library, only emma had permission, and my teacher had anna and i do wall sits instead of going to the office. in gym in middle school i would never dress out. i hated the clothes and hated gym bc i was awkward and if we didnt dress out we had to copy pages out of the health textbook the entire time and i would barely write 2 paragraphs bc i was so bored and my hand hurt and he never did anything ab it. i wouldnt dress out at least twice per week if not more. told my mom I had a C bc he had it out for me but i was the problem

in elementary school if we didn’t come to gym day wearing the right shoes we had to go into the back and pick out a pair of sneakers that fit out of a box of shoes, and also borrow socks if necessary. i had to do this frequently bc i never remembered to wear the right shoes

i would extremely often forget my library books and have to sit on the couch waiting for everyone to pick out their books for half an hour

when we were even younger we’d have story time and you had to sit in the middle of the floor inside a big circle of chairs where everyone else was if you forgot your library books. i lost one at one point for months and my parents didnt just pay for it so i had to sit in the middle every time. we found the book on a shelf somewhere in the house

my chorus teacher never liked me bc i talked too much and i always felt like the worst singer, not bc of my singing but bc she wasn’t ever nice to me

in 7th grade science we learned latin root words and every day we’d play a game where we all stood up and one by one he’d ask for a root and we’d give it. if you got it wrong on the first round you’d have to write it on a piece of paper x amount of times and turn it in. if you were the last person left you were allowed to sit on your desk for the rest of the year, during these games while everyone else had to stand up. i wanted so badly to sit on my desk, esp bc i was fidgety and couldnt stand still, but i would never study them bc i’d forget or not want to if i did remember, even tho i really wanted to know them and sit on my desk. that teacher had a huge soft spot for me and one day i just started sitting on my desk during those. everyone knew i was smart, and it was all the smart kids who got to sit on their desks, so no one questioned it. im not sure if he knew i wasnt supposed to and just let me, or didnt realize i hadnt won bc i was smart.

hyperlexia? mom said i could practically read before i was taught. i’ve always obsessively air written, ie writing words out w my finger in the air, on my leg etc.

esp during lectures i doodle excessively to the point that my papers margins have always been covered with random scribbly overlapped words, or song lyrics. the words are usually something someone in the class said. ive started keeping an extra sheet of paper just for scribbling when im taking notes or listening in class. when we finished end of year tests in school i would write down full lyrics to songs on my scrap paper so i wouldnt be so bored. my hand cramps up so much but it was better than staring or trying to sleep with the lights on

doing things and forgetting to turn them in

hyperfixating on books to cope w boredom and social anxiety, at one point read one per day, i was definitely one of the most frequent people in the library

‘ The way I see it is if I can get information into my mind, I can do a lot with it but getting it in there in the first place is the really difficult part.’ - not mine

none of my teachers ever told my mom any of this i dont think, bc i was the smartest and i always got good grades, most had a soft spot for me BUT COULDNT SEE I HAD ADHD like damn. one time my fourth grade teacher whom i liked a lot was mad at us and indirectly calling people out, and referred to the fact that some of us never stopped talking , then made direct eye contact with me and i felt rly embarrassed bc i didnt realize i did that until she mentioned it

i often had to move seats if i was near friends bc i wouldnt stop instigating talking

at big lots when i had to run the register i was so painfully bored , fidgety, had to sneak my phone soo much bc i was so bored. when i was on the floor i would put away the go backs very quickly and then take upon myself a project like going through the entire wall of individual drinks and pulling out all the expired ones, it was like 5 carts full. my manager put me in charge of organizing the entire makeup section and all the gross clearance makeup bc she knew id do it the best and fastest

when bosses have me do inventory i can count the products super fast and efficiently, but then when they have me put them into a spreadsheet i stare at it for hours getting nothing done bc distracted and its boring. ammar told me if i’d just get off my phone i could get it done bc he’d been asking for it for weeks, i wasnt trying to ignore it

when im trying to do something at work that needs more concentration, i want to cry with frustration whenever i hear the door chime and have to get up and help customers and break my focus

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vibrant-goddess · 5 years ago

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yeah im drinking a bit at 130am i have to be at work in five hours but im SAD and i hate my coworkers and im gonna stay up and feel like shit all week so you know fuck it im gonna bitch about it on main bc im tired of giving a fuck about what people think of me and im not putting it under the cut because i seriously dont fucking care

i shoulda bought more cigarillosi havent fucking smoked in seven years like my parents found my cigars when i was a baby adult and yelled at me so i tossed them and never looked back

except now i live on my own in a tiny shitty room that is cheap enough for me to pay off my student loans real fucking fast living with two extremely adorable dogs(they’re my roommates) who dont like being petted so what even are they good for except dragging in dead animals all the fucking time and leaving hair everywhere literally i had to stop baking for my coworkers because no matter how clean i was i ALWAYS FOUND MORE FUCKING FUR but its fine because i don’t like these coworkers anyways

like i know i work in tech but what are the fucking chances that my team would be four white blonde guys(at least two are blue eyed) in their early thirties and then me like what the FUCK and i still have two more months with these fuckers. i have to figure out how to survive eight more weeks with these people who don’t like or respect me. i feel like a goddamn token minority hire and it makes me want to quit. like, just straight up two weeks notice i don’t give a FUCK about completing the rest of my work i don’t give a FUCK about helping this team i don’t give a FUCK about this work assignment my coworkers are so fucking dismissive and passive aggressive AT BEST and whiny turds at worst. i hate coming in at 630 and leaving at 345 without taking a lunch so my work has gotten like 10 extra hours of work for me thats literally, after tax, another student loan payment.

im so fucking miserable here. this town is so fucking small. theres nothing to do here except spend twenty dollars to go to tea except i have to do it myself bcause i dont know how to fucking interact wioth people

and then i thought this month oh ill try to get people i like together for halloween movies at my house except my house is a disaster because my roommate doesnt know how to fucking clean her shit up

literally her dogs shit on the couch and she took hours to do a half assed job of cleaning up. i cleaned the table, the kitchen, the floors, everything, and within two weeks she covered the newly cleaned surfaces with her shit. and like, its like pulling teeth to even get her to move her shit from the dryer after a MONTH so i know any sort of cleaning isn;t going to get done by her

like i thought leaving my parents house would make things so much better i thought the distance would allow me to finally live like an adult, but im essentially living the same fucking life, overextended by my responsibilities, depressed to the point of ideation, too anxious to talk to anyone, except now i have quadruple the bills, still no fucking s/o because apparently im totally unfuckable like even this fucking loser from target ghosted me, and my parents passive aggressively text me everyday because i don’t update them all the time on my THRILLING life that consists of a nine hour work day, three hours of studying for a professional exam that my work won’t pay for, and two hours of costume shit based on a character in a game series i don’t even fucking like for a party im not even going to attend

and like the obvious answer is drop the costume shit, block your parents for a couple weeks, and go to therapy. i hurried i RUSHED to get my own health insurance so i could finally finally get therapy, only to find out that if my work finds out im getting therapy theyll block any chance at promotion and in this small shitty town there are ten total therapists in a sixty mile radius, only two of which specialize in the CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) except one is a dude and the other does christian counseling and i fucking refuse to interact with religion i dropped any pretense of religion four years ago and im not fucking going back and if you even FUCKING mention it to me i stg so i guess i have to take my chances with the dude

god i dont want to go to work tomorrow but ive p consistently taken a day off every two weeks and im trying to save up my leave for when i want to just fucking ditch out for a week next year after i pay off my student loans

like EVERYTHING WAS SUPPOSED TO BE BETTER ONCE I MOVED. i told myself oh everything will be better once i transfer except it wasnt i got even more stressed and felt more pressure. i told myself oh everything will be bettwe once i graduate except not only was it not but i hit the worst period of my life after graduating i couldn’t socialize i couldn’t speak i just laid on the floor of my childhood room crying and cutting myself because i couldn’t functgion because life didnt have purpose anymore. i told myself oh everything will be better once i move out once im away from the environment tht made me sick BUT GUESS WHAT TUMBLR the FUCKING ENVIRONMENT THAT MADE ME SICK WAS ME. GUESS WHAT I’M THE TOXIC PRESENCE IN MY LIFE. GUESS WHAT YOU CAN’T RUN AWA FROM YOUR OWN BRAIN.

im so fucking tired of trying im so tired of waiting for things to get better i keep trying things i did cbt on my own for months and it did nothing i drank a lot for a month and it did nothing but make me pee a lot i smoked again and it didn’t help i start cutting again and it did nothing like the only vice i have is eating except to pay off my student loans asap my food budget got stripped so i cant even do that and im just. im so fucking tired of this. im tired of throwing money at my student loan app. im tired of having no room besides my bed so i have to cut fabric while laying under my bed because there no room for me and my cutting mat. im tired of spending every weekend studying my fe study materials for an exam to get a certification my work doesn’t care about whatsoever. im tired of not feeling excited about anything. this is usually my favorite month of the year and i havent done a single fall activity. i dont know why the only person in this stupid city who likes me is the dude who realized im the only single black girl in the city and therefore has decided to make it his mission to try to wear me down so he can fuck me. im tired of working in a team where i have to be the voice of all women all black people and all queer people. im tired of having to either report my comings and goings to my parents from two hundred miles away when they don’t pay for any of my shit(in fact, i pay for some of their shit and they still demand updates like they’re entitled to my fucking life) hold on im getting another drink

and like if i want to even be considered one of the team i have to perform to perfection better than the other fuckers on the team whic means i have to show up before the earliest arriver and leave after my boss leaves and i still gotta do all my personal shit and i cant take a lunch and im UFKCKING SICK OF IT. the other team in our open office is a million times more diverse, they actually communicate and discuss shit. their boss is a woman and they occasionally have women on their team on assignment. they spent an hour debating and charting pizza topping preferences so they could order pizza together. meanwhile, my team cant even be assed to actually ask me a question.

i dont fucking want to go to work tomorrow. i dont want to fucking go back to this team ever again. my boss offered me a permanent position and i didnt know how to tell him that i hate this team and i cant wait to leave and mute the team server forever and if my next assignment didnt require an additional security thing(DESPITE THE FACT THAT I’VE NEVER STEPPED OUT OF LINE MY ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE I HAD GOOD HS ATTENDANCE I PARTICIPATED IN CLUBS I GOT A FUCKING NATIONAL AWARD I VOLUNTEERED WITH A CHRISTIAN CHURCH I PARTICIPATED IN CLUBS AND STUDENT ORGS IN COLLEGE I DIDNT DRINK A SIP OF ALCOHOL UNTIL I WAS 21 I DIDN’T SMOKE UNTIL I WAS 18 I NEVER TRIED ANY DRUGS NOT EVEN WEED IN FACT THE MOMENT DRUGS WERE PRESENT IN MY SOCIAL CIRCLES I LEFT THOSE SOCIAL CIRCLES AND NEVER LOOKED BACK I NEVER COMMITTED ANY CRIMES I NEVER ASSOCIATED WITH ANYONE WHO DID CRIMES IVE NEVER LEFT THE COUNTRY AS AN ADULT I LITERALLY HAVE THE BACKGROUND OF SOMEONE WHO SPENT 25 YEARS SITTING IN A ROOM EATING SALTINES AND STARING AT A WALL UNTIL I STARTED WORKING) that is taking fucking forever despite my perfect background i would have left this assignment early AND i would have given them excellent documentation when i went.

im so fucking tired. im tired of everything.

#i finished writing this shit at 230 at this point any sleep is gonna be shit but the alcohol is making me sleepy so whatever #there was no chance i was going to get a decent nights sleep anyways #i fucking hate everything

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