#cant recommend him enough
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@orangenottangerineart drew my dnd character Bird!!!! I couldn't be happier omg ♥️😻 she's a tabaxi bard, a disgraced court jester, n honestly just a silly lil kittycat
#dnd art#dnd character#her name is bird's singing moon!! but bird for short :3#in her first session she saved the entire party by killing 5 kobolds in one thunderwave#clap clap :3#also omg the process working with him on this has been amaaazing#only the second time ive commissioned anyone but!!!!#its been so good#cant recommend him enough#amazing art amazing person :)#♥️#LMAO I GOT HER NAME WRONG JFC#moon's singing bird.....#how could i do that to my own girl 😭#anyway vote theo!!!#uh#her design is based partly on marsipulami and partly on disneys bonkers :3 shes a looney toons kinds catb♥️
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käärijä is such a sweetheart wtf
(from his brighton show 23/10/24 !)
#someone in the crowd gave him that bra btw. he performed a whole song wearing it. 10/10#his show is so crazy but wholesome and silly and i cant recommend seeing him enough if you can#käärijä#kaarija#kaarija euro tour#käärijä tour#euro tour 2024
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promptober day 6: books 📚
#promptober2024#DBDA#dbda fanart#save dead boy detectives#save dbda#dead boy detectives#dead boy detective agency#art#my art#dc#the sandman universe#this was a struggle i cant lie#im so bad at traditional art sos#harry potter books#destroyed a JK rowling book to make this#like a good samaritan#lots of fun 10/10 would recommend#crystal palace#charles rowland#niko sasaki#no edwin payne because ive drawn enough of him lately#dbdpromptober2024#beetlebug—-1
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I found this to be such a random comment until I realised it was Balgeum saying it and it suddenly felt so heavy
#his money trauma runs so deep he cant see how his behaviour hurts inho much more than any money issues could#or maybe he does and its just that bad that he cant physically stop himself#when he told inho to go back i was like my man he cant keep coming back until you have enough money to feel secure#if you dont deal with this now that insecurity is gonna run for the rest of your life and even if you do have money youll always worry abou#losing them and not be able to enjoy the comfort that comes with them#and youre always going to base your feeling of self worth on them#and your happiness and everything valuable in your life would be so easy to destroy#itd crumble#i want him to see the truth so bad it hurts me watching him go through it#im happy he was at least honest with inho#thats a step#hes gonna have to take a lot of small ones too#all of these hurt boys ugh#its such a pretty show and the comedy is fun and the acting is top notch that it makes me ignore how much sadness there actually is in ever#episode#and i recommend it as a light watch because they mix the sweet and the sour so well#but i feel for all of these characters#including hyejin lol#boys be brave
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Get out and VOTE! No excuses! No pussyfooting! No "They're both equally bad!" No "She's pro-Israel!" This administration has undoubtedly failed Palestine. He is Worse. Suck it up and secure the freedoms of those around you. Voting for Trump is stupid because he constantly brags that he's more pro- Isn't Real than Harris. Voting for a third party is equivalent to not voting. Actually not voting is selfish because every atrocity is marked by inaction. Don't put your white-knighting over the safety of everyone around you! She will face incredible pressure from the left to help Palestine. He will not face any pressure from the right. In the end, vote as far as you can.
Listen to Bernie Sanders speak on this.
Listen to Last Week Tonight speak.
Down-Ballot. President. Vote.
#us elections#united states#election 2024#2024 presidential election#kamala harris#politics#my first presidential election#either its going to be really close either side or harris is going to kill it#i predict florida or texas will flip#im not optimistic enough for both#cruz is almost definitely gone#if i have to listen to one more ad of him ending the “scourge of abortion”#im not going to kill myself#because suicide jokes are bad for you#if you dont want to vote harris/walz for Palestine i recommend going to bernie sanders channel and hearing his thoughts#abstaining is a vote for both so you're still an accessory to genocide if you dont go out today#inaction is the boon of the enemy#if you aren't registered check state laws for same day registration#if you still cant vote for harris then vote down ballot anyway! incredibly important#abortion is completely illegal in texas except “life of mother” vote down ballot. dont be texas.#if you're in an abusive relationship/household: lie. they cant see who you voted for only that you cast your vote#pretend they've coerced you into voting red if necessary and believable#pictures of your finished ballot is illegal i believe#get your ass to the polls if you're a “blue dot”#rome wasnt built in a day!!!! put your back it!!!#convince your friends#make it a party#just do it#i went a little overboard#theres a lot of poll herding going on so im not really sure whats going to happen but every vote possible everywhere is needed
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hi more drug question
I have been told many many times that using ecstasy will basically fry your seratonin receptors so that you will never be able to feel happy again unless you are using the drug. I am assuming now that this is false but I am curious now as to how false. Is it something that CAN happen if you take too much at once or too often, or is this just random Drug Scary misinformation
Also also since wellbutrin is not an SSRI does LSD work when you are on it or does it also cancel it out
lol that's kind of an extreme version of what I usually hear! you're right that basically the answer here is no. this comes from a couple different things. first is MDMA induced serotonin toxicity, and 2nd is something called "serotonin syndrome" which is a real thing that can happen, but it's really really hard to get like this. prepare for a very long answer lmfaooo
MDMA induced serotonin toxicity occurs when you take too high doses too frequently. MDMA IS slightly neurotoxic, but so are many prescription drugs so don't let that word freak you out too much! basically MDMA works by dumping large amounts of serotonin into your brain, hence why it's the happy/love drug lol. if you take too much too often, your brain will straight up run out of serotonin. obviously that's bad! it's not as simple as "never feeling happy again" but you will essentially have depression for a bit because of lack of serotonin (on its own, low serotonin levels following modest MDMA use is not damaging and resolves within a few days) but the real problem is that if you are on MDMA with depleted serotonin, your brain will continue releasing dopamine which will attach to the serotonin receptors and damage them. this is what can cause long term depression symptoms, the damaged serotonin receptors. ultimately your brain will heal this on its own unless for some reason I guess you keep taking it a lot (which would have no effect. when you take too much MDMA your brain just runs out of serotonin to dump so like. it just won't work lol)?? it can also be treated with the supplement NAC, which I would recommend taking any time you use MDMA because of this!
to sum up MDMA toxicity: it can happen but only if you're misusing it! it's generally recommended that you dont do much more than 1 dose every 3 months or so to make sure your brain has time to reset. research interactions with anything else you're using (prescription or not), take some NAC in the weeks following a dose, drink a lot of water, keep your body temperature regular because that can worsen it, and take some antioxidants like alpha lipoic acid and grape seed oil during/immediately after taking MDMA - it's when you come down that your brain is delicate and could use the protection. also this may sound counterintuitive but weed also has antioxidant properties, so smoking it as you come down helps a lot. also if you DO have MDMA toxicity taking more MDMA will not help u feel happy unfortunately it will just make it worse lol, your brain only has so much serotonin to give
now serotonin syndrome can happen with the misuse of any drug that works on serotonin including MAOIs, SSRIs, and SNRIs, usually by taking a VERY large dose (but some people are just extremely sensitive). it usually takes care of itself eventually, but the amount of time it takes and stuff is kinda hard to pin down bc it's REALLY misunderstood and tends to be overly self diagnosed. again this is like super super hard to do. you would have to take a MASSIVE dose or mix it with other serotonin affecting drugs (ESPECIALLY MAOIs. DO NOT MIX MDMA WITH MAOI ANTI DEPRESSANTS). like 5 times the normal dose at least probably (partner is currently trying to find some literature on it so he'll add that in the replies if he finds anything interesting). it will cause things like heightened anxiety and body temperature and can cause kidney problems or seizures if it's like really bad and untreated. but you'd feel REALLY bad before it got to that point, so in general like, if you take any type of drug and feel extremely bad after go to the doctor lol. mostly this will also just heal itself; your brain is pretty resilient! again usually if this does happen it's very minor. cases bad enough to require hospitalization are exceedingly rare
to give you an example of what these can look like, I have a friend who was given about 3-4 times a regular dose by a fucking piece of shit asshole she knows and, this part is crucial, it was mixed with a very large amount of alcohol AND acid (which can slightly increase the neurotoxicity. normally not a huge issue but becomes one in circumstances like this), AND coke; like she was blackout drunk and while not on a lot of acid or coke, this is just too many things to have in your body and brain at one time. the mixture of such a large amount different drugs caused her what I'm guessing was a mild case of both of these things at once. she experienced slightly worsened depression for about 6 months after, and actually had a mild stutter for almost a year. I made sure she took some NAC and other things that aid brain healing, and she didn't try molly again for a long time to be super sure she didn't overload her brain before it was ready. this is a pretty extreme case, and even with that she has fully recovered thankfully. do NOT EVER do drugs with someone you don't trust with your life. DO NOT EVER do drugs in doses you have not confirmed for yourself to be safe and DO NOT EVER mix drugs without finding out if it's safe!!! just as a small aside though: usually taking molly and acid at the same time is perfectly safe. in fact it's called a candy flip and I HIGHLY recommend it because it's fucking awesome. again, just make sure you are taking safe doses in a safe environment
OKAY now finally your specific question about Wellbutrin: I actually take Wellbutrin so I can answer this one from personal experience! Wellbutrin should not alter the effects of LSD in any way HOWEVER! both of these drugs lower your seizure threshold! I'm on the max dose of Wellbutrin (which is the max dose BECAUSE of seizure risk) so when I plan to drop acid I usually either skip my dose entirely that day or only take half depending on how much acid I'm planning to take. because of the way Wellbutrin works, this shouldn't cause you any problems as far as that goes. for me, not taking my Wellbutrin for a day mainly has the effect of making me more fatigued, and acid counteracts that really well by making me feel very awake/aware. if you don't want to skip or halve your dose though you can also take things that will RAISE your seizure threshold. so like I sometimes will smoke hemp because CBD actually will help with that. the risk here isn't huge either way especially if you have no history of seizures, but again if it's something you're concerned about you should be just fine skipping or lowering your dose for the day. acid usually lasts about 12 hours too so i personally don't even care about skipping the Wellbutrin that much because it basically does the same thing for me. I did take my full Wellbutrin dose the last couple times I've done acid though because I was taking a very small amount of acid (about half a tab)
in summation lol sort of TLDR I generally would recommend MDMA for recreational use because the risks of damage are low and it's safe if you are safe about it. and it's honestly just a really fun one! the only negative effect I've ever felt is some emotional and physical fatigue the following day, and this is largely because of how emotional and energetic you are on it. I just make sure to have the next day off to lay around and listen to music :)
taking it with a partner or loved one will give you an especially beautiful experience, as MDMA has been proven to facilitate extremely open emotional conversations. in fact, when MDMA was first synthesized it's primary use was in psychotherapy! research was shut down during the war on drugs, but in recent studies it's demonstrated amazing abilities to treat and even straight up CURE disorders like PTSD. for a personal anecdote, my partner actually completely fucking cured his alcoholism on a combo of MDMA and whippets (nitrous oxide) lmfao. like dude straight up went from getting black out drunk multiple nights a week to drinking nothing for the past year and a half without any other treatment program. LSD has been proven to have similar incredible results with treating and curing things like depression, anxiety, PTSD and addiction and is also a very fun and very safe one.
sorry to reiterate for the billionth time lol but it's important: these drugs are safe and fun if you make sure they're safe and fun! do your research and never use in an unfamiliar environment with people you wouldn't trust in an emergency! also I know this sounds like a lot, but remember I'm giving you like the absolute safest possible practices and emphasizing sort of over cautiousness because I think it's always better to be too safe. I've taken molly without nac and I've taken kinda big doses a little closer together than I should have without any problems. there's a bit of flexibility to these guidelines, but it's always better to think of them as being rigid so you don't end up too far in the other direction. like I've said it's really really hard to do actual damage that would last more than like a day or 2 max. most of the time you'll just be sleepy the next day from all the dancing so it's nice to do it on a day 1 of a weekend. also it only lasts like a couple of hours lol so it's not your whole day or anything!
#sorry this took me like a fucking hour i kept having to check myself w my partner + google to make sure i wasnt talking out of my ass lmfao#im sure ill be rereading and editing it for the next hour as well#damn just spent like another half hour#hope this is thorough enough for ya ajdbsjhdkshdkshs#on a tangentially related note: ive been weaning myself off of my SNRI (venlafaxine/effexor) bc it didnt help at all#and made my nails extremely brittle ????? like so bad they were constantly breaking to the quick and making me bleed#so pretty soon ill be able to do acid and molly again. sweet blessed molly how ive missed you#cant believe i forgot to mention this but as another personal mdma anecdote: my partner and i started dating while candy flipping#hed been staying at my house for like 4 months at that point but we hadnt really talked about like. relationship definitions#and I was EXTREMELY nervous bc id never even like kissed someone fr before him#but the acid and ESPECIALLY the molly made talking about our feelings with each other really easy and safe feeling#we do it every once in a while as like a poor mans couples therapy lmfao. its much easier to be open and honest and vulnerable#while crucially taking down the defensive wall that can cause you to lash out and stuff#highly recommend 👍#wtiting a book called the couple that rolls together stays together. its about doing molly but also skateboarding#drug ed#i cant stop adding to this post im sorry
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A beautiful baby girl named The Laughing Vampire
#witchy.jpg#suehiro maruo#warau kyuuketsuki#the laughing vampire#eroguro#horror manga#you guys have no idea how much I'm obsessed with mr maruos work#i searched far and wide for this manga for YEARS and i finally have it in my grimy little raccoon hands!!#i cant recommend it enough if you're a horror manga fan. especially to my fellow emo freaks#since the protagonist has that vampire!gerard way vibe to him#it has very heavy themes that can be difficult to stomach tho so be careful
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ik a mention rgg nerfing ttm's features when modelin sawashiro every five minutes but they really had to cause aint no way in hell would a been intimated by this bruv if they didnt
#snap chats#oh im fucked i really put 'a' instead of 'i'. whatever thats how i pronounce it we goin phonetic baby#did ou know i remember abolutely nothing about the ending of drive. i watched it while drinking two soju#DO NOT RECOMMEND by responsible#to totally contradict myself im drinkin nigori i bought . i didnt know alcohol cold frreeze and i accidentally froze it ☠️☠️☠️#iiii ALOMST knocked my cup over ohmy gd#moving on. legality to say soem BULLSHIT noowt ho#anyway n o lsien to me ttm's 38 in this movie and sawashiro's 38 in 2000. probably. i cant do math rn Or Ever point is About Same Age#this IS from drive. great movie. and this is one of his cuter/sillier roles imo so awkward comp but ill still speak#main text got me lying i was out of pocket seeing bro frame 1 anyways but it woulda been a diff vibe this route lsten to me#hes just too cute bro . bye. fymhes an antagonist hes too cte for that <- his filmography prves otherwise#gon try to start an argument with me what you gon do mate kiss me ??? enough.#i like how ttm just has A Vibe to him. Apparently. he always playin awkward mates.... back then anyway..#postman blues did him so dirty bein all 'slender-framed mates are more prone to socipathy' LKE LEAVE HIM ALONNNE#wehhh i wish they mocapped his facial expressions more accuraltey in rgg. and his teeth. his smle still cute to me..#i sound lke my mom when she talks bout lee joongi whenever i talk bout ttm ew lke bye. stop#ok im going bak to playing mincraft now bye#oh my gd when did it become 2AM literally suck my ween
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sometimes i think about jungle juice (the webtoon) bc goddamn if it isn't one of my favorite webtoons of all time ITS SO PRETTY
#thinking out loud 🏵️#THE HARD PART OF BEING A WEBTOON LIKER IS THAT UR SHIT IS SO UNDERRATED SO THERES LIKE . NOTHING FANDOMWISE#anyways huijin my wife and breeder my other wife#I NEED TO FIND OUT HIS ACTUAL NAME I CANT GO ON LIKE THIS#DO U KNOW WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE WHEN UR LIKE oh my favorite character's name is breeder LIKE GRGRGRGRRGRG PULLS HAIR#is there a valid reason? yes. is he fucked up? yes. do i still want to kick him. yes.#also lawrd save me bc i have no experience w korean names and so i know the character when i see the name but lord if u asked me to spell#their name rn#im fucked#id die immediately#i only know suchan huijin and like#professor ji??#IS IT JI OR JIN I FORGOR#anyways#i love this webtoon sososo much never thought id say that abt bugs but#yes#id recommend it to ygs if u want new webtoons to read#the art is phenomenal and the storyline is amazing#and suchan does struggle altho hes pretty overpowered it's believable enough because he gets beaten up by stronger people#like carl#god i love carl#forgot to mention him earlier but hes literally the hottest person in this damn webtoon#or maybe im just a dilf liker#also bro has long hair so ERM#OH YEAH ALSO UHM THE WEBTOON IS DARK THO#maybe thats too late to say .... is anyone still reading these#if so hiiiiiiii ily#BUT YEAH THE WEBTOON HAS LIKE SUICIDE ATTEMPTS AT THE BEGINNING CANNIBALISM HUMAN EXPERIMENTS A SHIT TON OF DEHUMANIZATION AND YEAH SO GL#anyways i love this webtoon go read it might write a story abt it idk i love insect ppl#oh and breeder is the villain BYEEEE HES SO FUCKED UP BUT GOD HES HOT
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For the unhinges bingo sheet can you do spark. Seeing your commentary on that game was funny as hell
HE JUST WANTED HIS FUCKING JOB BACK MAN .
#played all 3 games and this stupid clown has stolen my heart#3rd game came and ran me over like a fucking train dude#please god just let him be happy . he just wanted his job back#sparkposting#<---- thats the tag im gonna use for this series here on the azzienautilus blog#anyway spark tej games goated as hell cant recommend them enough
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that kaveh fic where he said "he won't dare say it makes him feel better, because he knows that isn't true. he thinks he still remembers what 'better' feels like, and this isn't it"
#yeah#you get it#it lives in my head all the time#bouncing around in there#because that... that really is how it is#i cant recommend the fic in good faith#i have like a general rule against recommending sh and/or suicide fics to others#but#this one eats me alive#ive read it so many fucking times#the little “oh. there it is again.”#and and and#“it isn't 'relief' exactly”#the very detached aside with tighnari asking after him#“...have you been better?” when i tell you my ribs shattered into a million pieces#“i can do this by myself... you don't have to... you don't have to” i think being run over by a train would hurt less#man this hurts to read physically#there is real aches and pain in my arms and chest#i adore this fic#kaveh genshin impact#the author is kaeyapilled on tumblr and uhhhh lingeringmoons i think on ao3#he sits by his own side#holds his own hand through it#kisses his own wounds#that line that line that line#it repeats like a mantra in my brain#it shouldn't that's the point of the fic#but god#it is so very#okay that's enough sorry for the rambles
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litterally what are u even meant to do when the song that reminds you of a yugioh character comes on mid-essay and now you gotta spend the next hour lost in thought about your favorite little guys :/
#oddly enough it wasnt even vrains. i cant listen to ‘twin size mattress’ by the front bottoms without thinking about 5ds yusei and kalin#theres some for vrains too but like. come on. try listening to ‘i’ll make cereal’ by cavetown without thinking abt yusaku i dare you#like its litterally him#yugioh#song recommendations ig😜
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i make fun of a lot of the at the time common abaranger crit but nothing on earth will be funnier than the people who were all like "and i was expected to believe topgaler cared about mikoto in the end when they basically had a business relationship" and it truly is like. just say you didn't care about the bakuryuu and paid zero attention to topgaler the whole show.
#shark.txt#abaranger.txt#rly cant recommend strongly enough watching abaranger and paying close attention to both how top talks to mikoto but also abt him to stego#it becomes so obvious so quickly that topgaler cares about mikoto but knows mikoto doesnt want that and would react negatively to it#so in knowing that its either maintain the distance mikoto wants or leave mikoto to suffer on his own as mikoto already has his whole life#arhgshgrhgahghgaghaghaghaghagharghghgh makes me crazy#mm.txt
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off the menu — gojo satoru x f!reader
a/n: you throw hands cuz a bich cant take no for an answer
the evening starts off well enough, the soft glow of the restaurant's lighting casting a warm hue over your quiet table with satoru.
it’s peaceful, intimate, and everything a date night should be—until the waitress begins her performance.
from the moment she approaches, something feels off. her attention seems almost glued to satoru, and the way she stands a little too close sets your teeth on edge.
as she pours his water, she bends over just enough to emphasize her neckline, a coy smile on her lips.
“so, how can I make this evening even better for you?” she asks, her voice sickly sweet as she looks satoru up and down, her eyes lingering a second too long.
you can feel the irritation rising, but you force yourself to remain calm—for now.
satoru, oblivious or perhaps just amused, leans back in his chair, lazily gesturing toward you with a smile. “I’m already good, thanks to my wife. you could say she makes every evening perfect.”
the waitress falters for a moment, her smile twitching, but she regains her composure quickly.
“lucky man,” she murmurs, eyes flicking to you before dismissing your presence entirely. “but surely, sir, you’d appreciate just a little extra attention tonight?”
she places the menu in front of him. “I can recommend our finest wine if you’d like. I know exactly what a man like you needs to make the evening unforgettable.”
“that’s very kind of you,” satoru replies, his tone polite yet distant. “but I really just want to enjoy dinner with my wife. she’s the only one I need to impress tonight.”
the waitress gives a tight smile, clearly undeterred. “well, if you change your mind, I’m just a call away. you know, they say great taste runs in the family—your wife must be quite the catch.”
you can feel the irritation bubbling over, but you stay silent, waiting for your chance. satoru glances at you, a hint of amusement dancing in his eyes. “she is. best decision I ever made.”
the waitress leans in closer, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. “you must be the envy of all the other guys here. a man like you deserves to be spoiled. I could help with that.”
“trust me, I’m already spoiled,” satoru shoots back, his grin widening as he pushes his chair away from her. “my wife knows how to treat me very right,” he hums, eyes flitting to you.
just as she’s about to respond, she places her hand on satoru's shoulder, leaning in with an exaggerated pout. “but what if I could make tonight special just for you?”
that’s when something in you snaps.
“excuse me?” you cut in, your voice sharp enough to slice through the tension. “did you just seriously put your filthy fucking hands on my husband?”
the waitress blinks, taken aback by your sudden outburst, but she still has the audacity to smirk. “I was just being polite,” she says, her tone dripping with mock innocence. “no need to get all worked up, sweetie.”
sweetie? you rise from your chair, voice steady but filled with venom. “polite? is that what you call openly flirting with a married man in front of his wife? you must have a death wish, huh?”
she tries to respond, but you cut her off, hand grabbing her by the collar. your grip is relentless, eyes glaring at her with imaginable heat.
her eyes widen as she stares fearfully at you. meanwhile, satoru grins, leaning on the table, thoroughly amused and maybe even turned on, but you don’t notice.
your voice grows louder, sharper as you give her a piece of your mind. “let me make one thing crystal clear—I don’t share what’s mine.
and especially not with someone who clearly doesn’t know the meaning of respect. so, why don’t you do us all a favor and stop embarrassing yourself?”
but you don’t stop there.
“do you always throw yourself at customers, or is it just the ones you think will tip better? because let me tell you, my husband doesn’t need your desperate little attempts to impress him,” you sneer, letting go of her roughly, and she hits the ground with a loud thud.
satoru is sitting back now, clearly entertained, his lips twitching as he watches you. the waitress, however, is visibly flustered, her face turning bright red as she stammers, “m-mister gojo, are you going to let her—”
“let her?” satoru interrupts, chuckling softly. “oh, I would let her humiliate me personally. plus if anything, I’m enjoying this. but really, you’re wasting your time. my wife already has all my attention, love, affection, and everything in between.”
the waitress, finally realizing she’s cornered, mumbles a quick apology before practically sprinting away from the table, leaving the two of you alone in the now-silent restaurant.
you sink back into your chair, your chest heaving slightly from the adrenaline, but satoru reaches out and takes your hand, his eyes gleaming with amusement.
“you know,” he says, leaning in close, his voice dropping to a teasing whisper, “watching you go crazy like that? hottest thing I’ve seen all night.”
you roll your eyes, but a smirk tugs at your lips. “she had it coming.”
“definitely,” he agrees, pressing a soft kiss to your temple. “so, what’s the plan for our next date? preferably somewhere with more waitresses for you to scare off.”
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I don't think this is a reasonable generalization. It's good to know that many conversion processes don't explicitly push students toward zionism, but I think it's more common than you may realize.
My conversion classes were co-taught by the local Hillel rabbi. (Anyone who's spent time in Jewish non- and anti-zionist movements for more than a couple years knows why this is a red flag.) Unfortunately, upon review of my notes from one particularly memorable class a few years ago, I didn't write down most of what she said. She did claim that BDS is inherently antisemitic. And she very explicitly told us that day that all real Jews are Zionists.
My sponsoring rabbi was aware that I am not (and also was not then) Zionist. He warned me before the beit din that I should not share my opinions on medinat yisroel unless explicitly asked. The Hillel rabbi, who was also on my beit din, did ask about how conversion "made me rethink my relationship to the state of israel". My sponsoring rabbi cut my response short - I think he was afraid the Hillel rabbi would not let me move forward to the mikveh if I said anything more than "it's important to know the historical context" and "it's important to be aware of what harms are perpetuated in the name of our supposed safety." (The third rabbi on my beit din did not talk much and I could not read his expressions.)
It was very much an effort of myself and one of the other students in these classes to politely push back against the compulsory Zionism created in that space primarily by the Hillel rabbi, and which was most aggressively enforced by one of the recently-welcomed gerim who just kept attending classes with us all.
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Conversion does not have a standard curriculum. (Certainly not in liberal strains of Judaism, where I've spent my time and where I have the most friends, but I've never heard of a standard curriculum for Orthodox converts either.) I know (or at least fervently hope) that my experience (wrt pro-israel pressures) was not standard. But it absolutely did exist, and we did have a half dozen converts every year.
Hillel is one of the most prolific Jewish organizations in the US. Hillel is explicitly Zionist. It is hardly any wonder that those taught or sponsored by Hillel-affiliated rabbis would be pushed toward Zionist expressions of modern Jewish life.
Becoming Jewish means being welcomed into a people. There are plenty of Jews in the US (the context I know we're both speaking from) who simply would not welcome a convert who does not materially support the Israeli nation-state project. And if you're not welcomed by your beit din (or if you can't even find a rabbinic sponsor), then you're not welcomed officially; if you're not welcomed officially, your conversion is not finalized.
this is what happens when a reddit atheist automatically switches "jew" to "zionist", either using an algorithm or in their head. statements like this are an admission that "zionist" is being used to mean jewish.
#my shul hung no flags in the sanctuary but hillel did#the prayer for the state of israel was in our liturgical texts and said every week at the torah service#(i loved being part of a conservative minyan who did the full weekly readings including haftarah! not the triennial cycle! all of it!)#(i did not love the prayer for the state of israel nor being expected to volunteer to lead it occasionally)#(it was one of only two english prayers in our liturgy + the dvar torah when we had it was english)#(i didnt have enough hebrew to lead anything but the english prayers. so i just never led anything)#ANYWAY.#im not saying youre misrepresenting your experience or the experiences of the other converts you know#im just saying you cannot universalize based on your contacts. bc some of us were out here being v aggressively pushed toward zionism#yes i HAVE known prospective converts who are locked out of officially becoming jewish bc wrestling with zionist normativity isnt enough#they arent willing to materially align themselves with the state of israel so they just cant fucking convert#not without moving to a new city. virtual conversion doesn't get you a mikveh and the hand of a sponsoring rabbi guiding your first tfillin.#i was '''recommended''' to donate $18 to the jnf before my mikveh. i did not do it.#sorry the tags are so rambly its shit that wouldve been tangential to the body of my addition#just as i think of it#anyway. like yeah reddit op is being antisemitic#but we dont need to overcorrect and pretend like zionism isnt normative and even frequently compulsory for converts#its v much a double standard ive observed in many jewish spaces that#converts are expected to be more obervant/religious and more amenable to zionism than jews who didnt convert#we arent supposed to ''rebel'' against the culture we willingly joined.#my own comment wow#my own addition wow#also we were not taught about modern israeli culture lol not beyond ''here is a guy who grew up in a kibbutz ask him anything''#and ''yes you should absolutely go volunteer for the idf theyre so proud of converts like you''#and we had a whole class that was just the hillel rabbi playing a recording of yom hazikaron sirens in israel on repeat and crying#so. that was weird. i think that was supposed to be education on modern israeli culture. ???#ok final thing. i know a beit din is not universal but i figure that the reform/renewal/recon groups who dont have one have like#interviews w the synagogue board or something??? something comparable???#point being if the people who get to judge if youre sincere decide based on your unenthusiasm for the zionist settler project#that you're fundamentally insincere in your pursuit of a jewish community life. thats it.
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Jimin Fic Recommendations
a - angst f - fluff s - smut
One Shots
I want to be with you (a s f) by @oddinary4bts ⊹₊⋆ moving to Seoul has always seemed like a good idea, until the bubble bursts when you realize your new neighbor is Park Jimin, and he's not the sweet angel you've always imagined him to be. Will the reality of Park Jimin forever be a nightmare, or will he turn into a sweet dream?
Ho-Ho-Home (a s f) by @jjungkookislife ⊹₊⋆ Golden neighbor extraordinaire, Park Jimin, is (unintentionally) stealing your spotlight this holiday season. Despite your one sided rivalry with him, all Jimin wants is for you to remember him, to remember your past and hopefully create a future with you.
Into the wilderness (a f) by @gukyi ⊹₊⋆ alright, so last summer’s camp was... disastrous. from the murky green showers to the wasps nests, it was all-around a bad time. but none of those things could be quite as catastrophic as the end-of-camp counselor campfire, when you told park jimin that you were in love with him. and if telling him was terrible, then seeing him again this summer, one year after your fruitless confession, just might be the death of you.
The Boyfriend Concept (f s) by @kpopfanfictrash ⊹₊⋆ Win a Date with a Porn Star! You saw the sign when you walked in, of course, but you had no idea your friend dropped your name into the raffle. Fast-forward to later that day, when you actually win. You are horrified, of course, with no intention of accepting and setting yourself up for embarrassment. But then you meet Jimin, and decide this might be worth a shot.
wanna watch a sex tape (s) (ft. taehyung) by @gimmethatagustd ⊹₊⋆ When Taehyung invited you over to watch a movie, you didn’t think the movie he had in mind would be your sex tape… And you definitely didn’t think his roommate would want to watch, too.
feel your touch (a f s) by @jimilter ⊹₊⋆ You have always known yourself to be a sexual switch in bed, flipping between exercising and submitting control according to different situations and partners. And this camboy you are addicted to, one that seems to kinda reciprocate your interest, submits so beautifully that you just want to command him. But when things progress to levels you never anticipated, you end up discovering pleasant surprises that might just change your life.
physical (s) by @ppersonna ⊹₊⋆ you cant seem to escape the sexy fitness instructor that seemingly is everywhere you turn. it’s enough to make you irrational.
#bts#bts x reader#bts fic recs#bts smut#bts fluff#bts angst#park jimin#park jimin x reader#park jimin fic recs#park jimin smut#park jimin fluff#park jimin angst#jimin x reader#jimin fic recs#jimin fluff#jimin angst#jimin smut
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