#cant be bothered to tag properly

[toximblee]

mfs will be like 'look me in the eyes and tell me theyre not in love.' and itll be pixelated block kakashi and shrek.

[freezingfogsblog]

Everyone going insane about Verin being a Kiki fanboy/how cute they'd be but I CANNOT IMAGINE how awkward family dinners would get. Yes the brothers have exactly the same taste YES it is awkward YES the raw magic power in that room is frankly worrying.

[i-wheeley-like-you]

in the stranger things universe.. when Heathers was released in 1989 do y'all think joyce was like: "damn that veronica girl looks alot like me when i was younger"

[greasydumbfuck]

metafrank but like the bits that make it obvious they are like really terrible together

[unexpectedbrickattack]

from what I can gather from your hcs, Peppino is immune to Gustavo's gnome charms. But the MOMENT that little man does something casually cute? Pep's exploding

I am giving poor Gus a bad rep 😭 i am tempted to make an actual post about it so i can put my ramblings under a readmore lmao

He is first and foremost very earnest and very sweet! He is not an opportunist trying to swindle money out of people😭 hes just really small and really cute and he learned that they get better combined tips on days when hes manning the counter 😭 So the little cutesy face is Less about him trying to con people out of things they want, and more like him playing around bc hes like ‘this little face gets us sooooo much money; its clearly bc of my Charm 🥺✨ ’ even tho he knows it wouldnt work on pep 😭

With that said, Gus being like passively cute works on Peppino bc hes just enamored with everything Gus does ☺️ yes even the playfulness of trying to pretend to con Pep is enamoring💖 he is sweet and silly and playful and whimsical and a rlly good and helpful little buddy n friend

[miss-menhera]

Omg guys really!?!?!?!? This was mine's!!!!!!

SPOILERS/////

Live Hazbin Hotel season finale reaction:

[artnshitposts]

got injured while go karting so uhhhh

who wants to initmately care to my wounds or smth

[eowynstwin]

Obviously if your asks aren’t open then feel free to disregard this- (love your work btw I just- I cant- 🥰)

Do you think they keep the dog tags *ON* during sex? How do you think they’d wear them during it? Would they have you wear them?

You don’t HAVE to answer for each individual character obviously if you would rather just do it as a whole or just one that’s fine! Whatever works for you 💕

*cracks knuckles* I’ll do ‘em all. (Sorry for the long post, I’ll put it under a readmore when I get home 🙏)

Do the Tags Stay on in Bed?

Ghost wears his tags because, like the mask, they just don't ever come off. He is two people when he is with you--Ghost is the creature that can protect you, that can do the things Simon Riley would have been too weak for when it comes to your safety. But Simon is the man that could have loved you properly. Simon is the man Ghost believes could make you coffee in the morning, could rub your neck at the end of a long day.

It isn't initially why he wears his tags when he fucks you, but it is now--Ghost holds you in an iron grip, looms over you as he thrusts into you hard enough to bang the headboard against the wall, and feels the tags with a dead man's name clink against his chest. They remind him that you deserve whatever is left of the man who would have been far better for you than Ghost ever could be.

Soap wears his tags fully out of pride. The SAS is his life, is a massive part of his identity, and while he knows not every mission he's sent on is wholly for the good, he holds onto his conviction to act with integrity and compassion no matter what. The SAS might not always do good, but he will, as much as he can.

He wants you to be proud of him, too--he's really doing it all for you, after all. When those tags hang between you as your legs are wrapped around his waist, as they come to rest on your chest when he leans down to kiss you, he wants you to know that when he wears them he's thinking of you.

Gaz has no preference, but more often than not they stay on because he forgets to take them off. Usually, it's because the moment you're both free with enough time to actually have sex, he isn't going to bother with silly things like getting completely undressed--he wants you, now.

So, they've whacked you in the face a couple times as the two of you have gone at it. It's too funny to get mad at, and Gaz always uses it as an excuse to "make it up to you." Sometimes he'll take them off, too, and put them around your neck instead. "Keep 'em safe for me, eh?" he says with a grin.

Price takes his tags off. Over 20 years of service have left him wanting something that exists apart from violence and bloodshed, and every moment he spends with you is that something. He doesn't want to be the Captain with you, not unless he has to be--putting his tags aside gives him permission to just be John with you.

Besides, they'd get in the way. John does his very, very best to please you, to satisfy you beyond any expectation you may have of him, and sometimes that leaves you needing to bite down on his neck to keep from screaming. You’d probably not prefer to break a tooth on the tags’ chain.

Alejandro also takes his tags off, although it’s less about keeping work and pleasure separate and more about the annoyance they can be. When he is with you, Alejo is focused wholly on you, and does not appreciate distractions of any sort. He doesn’t want to have to fling his tags around to get them out of the way, or let them hang to be caught on an errant foot or wrist.

He does, however, love to see you wear them. It’s totally a possessive thing, but in the best way—Alejo worships the ground you walk on, and seeing his name around your neck inspires the same awe usually reserved for the divine. He thinks you could have anyone you wanted, and is humbled daily that you continue to choose him.

Rudy doesn’t care either way if the tags are on or off, and if the topic ever comes up he leaves that up to you. It’s an attitude that is very in-character—Rudy’s satisfaction comes from ensuring that you are satisfied, no matter what. Rudy’s love language, hands down, is acts of service.

Similarly to Alejo, however, he does enjoy seeing you wear his tags. “They belong to you anyway, mi vida,” he’ll tell you, lining your neck with gentle kisses. “All of me does.” (He has been known, however, to forget where he puts them if they do come off. So it’s probably better if they stay on.)

Bonus: Valeria gave hers to you a long time ago. She asks very frequently to see them, to make sure you keep them with you at all times. She promised herself she would never, ever carry their weight again, but she also can’t quite bear to throw them away, so now they stay with the only person in the world that she trusts.

If you wear them to bed, it will inspire a frenzy in her that will leave you limping the next morning. Those tags are a past version of her, a version she emerged from like a snake shedding its skin. While she is never sure how to feel about that previous self, seeing you take care its vestiges satisfies an ache in Valeria that she will never acknowledge.

Bonus: Graves has mixed feelings about his tags overall, being that he is technically not required to wear them anymore. They don’t mean the same thing to him now that they used to. That doesn’t mean they aren’t always on him, of course—he keeps them tucked into his boots. So you never see them.

If you were to ever find them, bring them into the bedroom? It could go one of two ways. On the one hand, you could end up benefitting short-term from the frustrated agitation those tags inspire, with Graves using your body to relieve an old, invisible hurt you never knew about. He will withdraw from you afterwords, though, too caught up in himself to really connect with. On the other, he could just withdraw immediately, recede from you, and the tension of that encounter will linger for days. It’s best not to involve his tags at all.

[dollymaniac]

A Little Christmas Gift

Leon Kennedy x Fem! Reader

Tags: NSFW MDNI, Smut, Oral (f! recieving), Porn with no plot, unprotected PnV, Pet names (Sweetness, Princess, baby, whore, slut) Degradation & Praise kink, OOC Leon.

Word count: 0.5k.

A/N: Something short while i get back to my usual stuff, sorry for going missing, College drains the creativity sometimes, As alway dividers by @/CafeKitsune.

"F-fuck, Leon wait, we're gonna knock it down" You said as you fell back, pieces of paper ribbon torn to shreds on the floor as Leon kissed and licked your tits. Clashing slightly against the trunk of the Christmas tree where you had originally sat yourself under, waiting for him to get home, wrapped up in that silly decorative paper.

"Yeah? Well, i  want to open my present properly Sweetness" he laughed as he released your skin with a pop, panting as he reached for the last bits of ribbon on your legs.

It didn't take more than a rough movement to rip it off, quickly pushing your legs apart "You really thought…" His voice a low growl as he left wet kisses trailing down your thighs "you could be a lil minx right after i came back? Leave me hot and bothered?" Biting slightly at your plush meat. "Not this time. You're dealing with it, right here"

He moved your panties to the side, tongue slowly teasing at your needy clit as you grasped at the Tree skirt, your mouth falling open with a moan of his name.

"fuck— Princess" he groaned, his cock twitching as you tried to close your legs, pressing him further into your cunt "No, be a good slut and keep them open so i can fuck you nice and hard.''

His tongue traced lazy circles over your puffy bundle, making you whine, his hot breath and grunts sending some more pleasure waves through your body as his fingers dug into your thighs.

He pulled away from your cunt, just before you could cum, licking the remainder slick off his lips, one hand pressed your thigh against the floor, the other went to pull down his pants and boxers enough for his to spring from them, already hard.

Your face flushed as his tip pressed against your wet whole "What? You're gonna act all innocent? As if you werent here waiting for me? all tied up in that thin Paper, only in your bra and panties?" he mocked you, slighty teasing you with the head of his dick.

His cock sunk inside your pussy, both moaning as he bottomed you out, your gummy walls clenching around his shaft, "L-leon" you cried out, back arching as he thrusted.

You looked so pretty for him, that stupid paper ribbon on your increasingly messier hair, the traces of your little wrap up all torn around you, eyes rolled back as he fucked you stupid, his little Christmas present.

He grunted as your pussy squeezed him, pistoning his cock into your favourite spot, pelvis pressing against your clit.

"God, you were made for me" his voice roughed by arousal. "Was this what you wanted? Me, coming home to ravage you under the tree?"

He teased your clit further with his thumb, making you scream at the extra stimulation, managing only to squeak out "mhm!"

"Use your words slut" he groaned.

"N-needed your cock so so bad" you choked out as you felt your orgasm building up.

"Fuck—" he grunted, upping the speed, teasing you up until you finally came undone under him, back arched again as he kept fucking you through your peak. "gonna fill you up until you cant think straight"

He bit his lip, pace stuttering as your fluttering walls pushed him over the edge, spilling inside you with a low growl.

He panted for a second, staring at you while still inside, before reaching for your hair, putting the decoration on it back in place, pulling the remainder of parts of you from under the tree. Lifting your face up to kiss you, his voice softening up as he pulled out and adjusted his boxers back on, "You were the best present, baby."

[the-reel-albacat]

idk if i'm to late but hears my oc! her name is June, if you do end up drawing her hope you have fun doing it :)

Thank you all for 1500 followers!

A small gift from me! The first five people who send me a reference of their dragon/pony/cat OCs will receive fullbody art. The next five will receive headshot art and the remaining five will receive chibi art. Good luck.

[de4dlyniightshade]

I imagine sub Spencer would be literally rock hard by just being allowed to touch you, like he LOVES when you let him touch or kiss you anywhere he wants

omfg literally!!! i imagine he'd be so fascinated watching his fingers thrust in and out of you and just cant help but palm himself as he does it bcs he's just so needy and hard for you :,)

HEADCANON SEGMENT!!!(i should actually make a headcanon segment tag)

can and will cum in his pants just by eating you out bcs he just loves to hear how good he makes you feel and loves the way you pull his hair and grind into his mouth.

loves giving way more than receiving, don't get me wrong he loves a good bj bcs he's still a man after all but having you sit on his face or use his fingers??? absolute heaven for him.

later seasons spencer definitely eats you out so much that his facial hair would be literally bleached and he'd just have to make up some bullshit excuse that red facial hair runs in his family if anyone pointed it out.

100% loves sucking on your boobs and can't help but grind on your thigh and whimper into your skin while he does it.

is always completely baffled listening to other men talk about how great bjs are and how they can't be bothered to go down on their gfs and just sits there like??? bcs he just can't get enough of it.

when he gets exposed as a munch in the bureau he gets so much praise from the woman, all of them telling him how good of a man he is and how lucky you are to have him, the whole thing making him feel very confident that he was a good boyfriend to you.

(spencer x bau!reader) he has been pulled aside multiple times by other men in the bureau and been very bashfully asked how to eat pussy properly after you very public and very loudly hyped up how good he was at it.

never has a good response to being asked how, he just...does? he doesn't have any specific technique and hasn't since he found out that everyone is different and what works for you wouldn't work for someone else.

absolutely knows your body like the back of his hand and can make you cum in two minutes flat.

loves to worship your body, leaving gentle kisses all over you and letting his hands trail over all your curves and contours.

would definitely get excited when it comes to the end of the work day, knowing that he could come home and bury his face between your thighs and eat you out to his heart's content.

honestly this just became munch!spencer but he's a munch your honour what can i say ;3

[moonpetrichors-blog]

you're currently carrying 'avatar x reader' with your absolutely amazing works, so i have another request for you, love, if that's alright <33

no idea how to properly start this, but basically neteyam and y/n are a thing- and even though y/n is like super grateful for his protection, lately she's been feeling just like another of his many responsibilities, not a partner. so they grow a bit distant, to that point where even his family notices, and when they try to talk it out they get into an argument. pretty much angst (because i love it👹👹👹) !!!!!!!!!!!!! and it's totally up to you if it ends with fluff or angst. oh and i thought maybe it could take place when they arrive to the metkayina clan, because it would mean y/n left everything behind just for neteyam (and his amazing family ofc🤞🤞🤞), but the way he begun to treat her, makes her think she might regret that decision= more aNGST‼️‼️but that's up to you- whatever you're more comfortable with :)) okay, byeee!!! have a nice day!!!

(i'm @introvert-pansexual btw😧)

Not A Responsibility

Tags: Neteyam x Omaticaya!Reader, Oneshot, Fem!Reader, Angst, Fluff At The End (Not Really)

Warnings: Tiny Bit Toxic, Mentioned Jealousy

Ever since you left the Omaticaya clan for your boyfriend, you’ve felt suffocated by his overprotective nature. You’re his partner, not just another one of his responsibilities or trouble-seeking siblings. And it hurts, knowing that he treats you like you are less his mate than burden. You think you might regret leaving your home for him.

UR SO NICE OMG😭😭❤️❤️ I love every request I get HSJQISIWJ some days my brain is just poop cause i cant think up ideas so these are nice to get ☠️☠️ also yuh I kinda inferred that u switched accs bc i stalk my followers LMAOAOAO anywayss this deffo isnt my best work but ive been kinda tired lately so like sorry if its not that great 😭😭

* ˚ ✦ 1096 Words • Read below the cut  

╭┈─────── ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-╰┈➤ ❝ [08/01/23] ❞   

 You and Neteyam have been dating. For a long time, actually.

You grew up together, and the tight friendship you built inevitably developed into feelings of attraction. You were anticipated to be mated to one another, and the Sully family cherished you.

Jake used to torment his son before you began dating. He'd make remarks about how you two reminded him of him and Neytiri, and how Neteyam had to entice you with the superb wooing genes he inherited from him. Neytiri would slap him on the back of the head and order him to be quiet. However, she couldn't argue with Jake's teasing. A lovely girl like yourself resembled a second daughter to her; if her son didn't put a ring on it, she would drag him by the ear.

You felt your throat constrict and your eyes burn with tears the day Neteyam informed you Jake was forcing his family to pick up and move. How were you supposed to just carry on and forget about your relationship?

You couldn't. As a result, you left with him. You would fly for a thousand days on an Ikran, cross vast oceans, and abandon your home a million times more for Neteyam and his family. Neteyam considered himself extremely fortunate to have you.

However, after finally settling in with the Metkayina, you began to sense a twinge of foreboding. You felt homesick, and you knew that relocating to a whole new clan would be difficult. Neteyam appeared to be taking it the hardest though, so you did not want to complain.

You noted how his shoulders tensed more frequently, or how he wore a faint grimace when alone. You were outsiders in this place, and they treated you as such. Neteyam couldn't help but be uptight whenever the olo'eyktan's son harassed his siblings, but he lost his composure when he sought to bother you.

Or, more accurately, flirted with you. Neteyam had a reputation for being a jealous boyfriend. You and his family were fully cognizant of this, but to the casual onlooker, he always appeared calm and collected. When Aonung penetrated your personal space, you recognized how Neteyam would surreptitiously linger nearby, or extended an arm around you. It drove him insane.

When he first started acting that way, you would coo at him and envelop him in your embrace while calling him sweet. You believed his protectiveness over you was adorable, and it was flattering to say the least. Neteyam, on the other hand, had nothing to be concerned about. You were solely interested in him.

...

Regardless of your unconditional affection, it seemed that the more Neteyam stayed in the Awa'atlu village, the more awful he grew.

Irrespective of Aonung's unwanted attention (which had long since faded), nothing made Neteyam happy anymore. When you tried to kiss him, he would either accept it reluctantly or brush you away. If you wished to spend time with him, he would acquiesce, but would eventually talk about his siblings or babysit. Nonetheless, he would be fiercely protective of where you went or what you did.

You couldn't condemn Neteyam for being nervous and tense all the time, but it seemed that no matter what difficulties you were encountering in your relationship, he began to treat you as if you were just another one of his trouble-making siblings. Another chore added to his long list of responsibilities.

Neteyam’s protection used to be charming, but it was now just smothering. It seemed like you were so distant from your boyfriend, yet also so close to him. You began feeling less like his partner, yet it also caused you to feel guilty when you were emotional in front of him. You knew you had no right to complain because you left the Omaticaya clan by your own volition. How could you grumble about it when your lover was enduring greater struggles?

This was a recipe for disaster.

...

You no longer felt comfortable communicating your concerns to your boyfriend. Each time you sought to bring up your reservations about how Neteyam was treating you, he was too preoccupied with his own life to give much heed to your conversation or relationship.

You eventually gave up on your efforts to work it out. If he were to behave distant from you, you would respond with the same energy. You two gradually drifted away, the gulf between you expanding by the day. Neteyam's family became quite alarmed when they noticed how seldom you two were interacting nowadays.

Jake and Neytiri encouraged Neteyam to try to spend some quality time with you again, and that he could set his other obligations aside. They'd maintain a close eye on their other children so Neteyam wouldn't have to fret about them.

He agreed begrudgingly, unable to say no to his parents. You were thrilled when he sought you out for a casual date, the first in a long time. There was a nagging whisper in the rear of your mind that gnawed at you, warning you he just wasn't the same, but you dismissed it. He'd come to find you, hadn't he?

...

You were deflated throughout the duration of your date. The longer time passed, the more you could feel the ominous mood rattling deep in your bones. During your time together, all Neteyam could think about was how much this move had stressed him out, and now he had to be concerned about paying you attention as well. It was apparent from his expression that he was not enjoying himself.

You couldn’t take it anymore.

You snapped at his indifferent attitude. “Can you stop zoning out and actually listen to me for once?”

If Neteyam was trying to fake a smile before, he definitely wasn’t anymore. “What do you mean? This whole entire date I’ve been only listening to you!”

You scoffed at this. His mind was in a whole other place for the entire duration of it. “You never have time for me anymore, and when you do, you act like I’m some burden on your to do list!”

Neteyam felt his blood go hot. Before he could stop himself, he began to yell. “It’s not my fault I can’t give you attention all the time! My parent’s are always putting pressure on me to make sure everyone’s looked after and well behaved, including you!”

Then, his voice dropped to a cruel whisper. “Do you think I wanted to go on this date?”

That was the juncture at which you felt so enraged that you couldn't prevent the tears from cascading down your flaming cheeks. Neteyam's countenance didn't alter in response to your outburst, which only served to make you angrier.

You practically screamed at him. “You’re such a dickhead! You’ve changed, Neteyam.” You began sobbing.

“The only reason I’m mad isn’t because you don’t give me enough attention, it’s because every time we’re together you completely neglect my feelings! You make everything about you!”

He remained still as you wiped your angry tears away, then jutted a finger against his chest. “For someone who acts like they’re always looking after everyone else, you’re so incredibly selfish with me.”

In the face of your harsh comments, Neteyam remained silent and unmoving. He was speechless; he didn't know what to say. The rage was still coursing through his veins, but all he could do was hearken to your never-ending shouts.

Your voice dropped an octave, and you glared into his eyes which you once looked so fondly into. “I’m not another responsibility of yours. I regret ever following you here. If I knew you’d turn out like this, I would’ve saved myself the heartache and found a new partner instead of leaving everything behind for someone that won’t even give me the time of day. You could at least try to act happy to be around me.”

That made his heart break, and he could feel the tears beginning to gather in his eyes too. He couldn’t believe you would have ever found it in you to say that to him. “Fine, do what you want. I tried to spend time with you, and you turned it into an argument.”

He pivoted on his heel, and stormed away from you on the threshold of tears. When he was far enough away, he let the tears flow.

Your voice carried from halfway across the beach. “Fine then, if you want me so bad, I guess I’ll go!”

You, too, turned your back on him and dashed away to find somewhere to cry privately. You felt like such a child.

...

It was growing dark, and eclipse was approaching.

You still hadn’t returned to the marui you shared with the Sully family, and Jake was beginning to get worried. “Where’s Y/N?”

That question was obviously directed towards Neteyam, but he remained sulking instead of replying.

Neytiri’s patience was thinning with her son’s out of character behavior. “That girl doesn’t know her way around the Awa’atlu village. She could be lost!”

Jake rubbed the bridge of his nose, glancing at the sky. He shared Neytiri’s sentiment, as his son still wasn’t talking. What the hell happened on your date?

Although Neteyam appeared furious, he was actually feeling quite guilty. Your reality check tugged at his heartstrings, and now you could be injured, or worse, lost, because he told you to be. He sprung from his seat and raced out the marui, unable to sit still any longer.

Jake's shouts for his son to return at that instant went unfulfilled. Even if Neteyam was angry with you, he was still afraid that something awful would happen, and he'd never forgive himself if it did.

Neteyam called your name as he ran throughout the village. However, no matter how much terrain he covered, or how many times he bellowed your name into the frigid night air, your voice did not respond. He was sweating nervously now, terrified about not being able to locate you. What if he never found you?

Those fears, however, were quickly dispelled into the wind whipping behind him as he hurried towards the sound of sniffling behind a nearby tree. Neteyam scratched the back of his neck, unsure what to do. As he drew near to your weeping figure, he stepped on and snapped a twig, capturing your attention.

You spun around to investigate the source of the noise, only to discover that it was your idiot boyfriend. Neteyam urged you to relax, then sighed and settled besides you.

Before you could protest against him taking a seat next to you, he hugged you tightly and apologized.

“I’m sorry. I’m the way I am right now because I don’t want anything bad happening to you, or my siblings. I can’t imagine ever losing you.”

You let your rage disappear, leaning into his embrace as he continued to talk.

“I know I’ve been a real idiot lately, and I’ll try to show up more in our relationship. My personal problems aren’t your fault.”

Your prior resentment faded as he brushed your tears away with his thumb, and you buried your face in his chest, allowing your arms to wrap around his midriff.

“I’m sorry for saying I wished I stayed behind and found someone new. That was a lie, I’d never be able to move on.”

Neteyam felt his chest tighten at your words, and merely hugged you tighter. “I’ll never hurt you again.”

[the-reel-albacat]

finally finished it!

Did a challenge I saw on Twitter, pretty fun

If you want spoiled on who the characters are, read the tags. If not, feel free to guess!

[neevblanc]

„curious” ♡

a/n —hey all! hope ur doin' well, drink water if you haven't! have this as a treat. it's 2k and some more but i cant be bothered to check for specifics. (p.s sorry if the tarot aspects of this are wonky! i did my best to research and i pulled reference from my sister's experience with tarot cards/reading.)

૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡

-ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Dazai Osamu x GN!reader

Tags— 22/ada dazai, flirting?, pre-slash, don't question why reader's given a key, reader works under ango but he's also they're dad figure, it's a whole thing, mentions of sskk though not explicitly platonic or romantic, take that as you wish, dazai's infuriating habit of burying feelings and then one day he'll die

CW/TW— dazai. (/j, none i can think of.)

note — reader's ability in this is based on one that my friend chose for our self-ship au. "Teacher of Truth by Saneatsu Mushanokoji: The user can employ tarot cards to gain insight into the past, current, and possible future situations. The user needs to know what each of the cards mean in order to properly interpret what they say." it's from a post on tumblr, but I couldn't find it for the life of me! i'll credit if i can. anyway, it's been tweaked a little so i'm here to explain. in this, reader can choose to use their ability during a reading or not, but the tarot cards are always personal to them. people they know will sometimes show in the cards if they're important to them.

The next time Dazai sees you, it’s well before the ADA opens for the day. He’d admittedly had a rough night—sleep evaded him like always, and he hadn’t had dinner because of his own laziness. His futon was impossibly comfy. How was he meant to part with its loving warmth?

The Door to the agency creaks open, the sound not unlike the groan of the cafe floorboards only steps away. One of Dazai’s favorite activities was purposely seeking out the creaky floorboards and dancing on them so loud Kunikida would have to berate him, of course. He was intimately familiar with the annoying sounds this old building could make.

The office is darker than during working hours, but he notices the meager amount of lights still switched on. Distantly, he knows Kunikida would’ve blown a gasket about the electric bill if he had found them still on. He takes a step into the room-

Something rustles. Downstairs, an old radio plays a song he does not recognize. Pigeons flutter and coo from outside the window.

Somebody was in the agency, and had it been any of his fellow detectives, he’d have known.

“Hmmm, what’s this,” he mutters absently, volume low enough to alert whoever it was had decided to trespass.

”Dazai-san?” a soft voice calls, and Dazai pauses for a moment. A short, hollow sound follows—cards shuffling. He bites the inside of his cheek. How curious.

”Last I checked, you don’t clock in with the rest of us measly agents. Surely Ango’s fuming by now?” He hums, stepping into view of you. you’re sat at Atsushi’s desk, bag perched on top of Atsushi’s empty report trays. Dazai almost smirks at the sight— silly Atsushi, always rushing to complete everything in a timely manner. One day, he’d get him to turn them in later, hopefully months later- like he did.

”Hm, no. I clocked in earlier, but Ango wanted me over here early. Something about a mission I have to hand over to Fukuzawa-dono. I got a key from him last time, so I just let myself in.” you explained. Dazai pulled his own chair out and collapsed into it, peering down at what your hands were busying themselves with.

He realizes they’re tarot cards. Thick and sturdy under your fingers, you set them up neatly in front of yourself. The backs are a matte purple, decorated with silver details that glint as the sunrise light hits them for just a fraction of a second. The illustrations seem to flicker with movement, almost like snapshots of time shifting through an old camera, frame after frame.

”What’s got you so busy?” he asks, exaggeratingly leaning over to look at the cards. You laugh and smile, expression wobbly. He notes the change. You briefly shake out the bracelet laying on your wrist, almost nervously. You lay the last card on the desk’s surface. Atsushi’s cute cat clock ticks from where it’s placed near his report trays.

“I do readings for the day early in the morning, just in case. Sometimes, I don’t even use my ability.” You explain, keeping your voice low so as not to break the morning peace. Dazai glances at the cat clock. Soon, the secretaries and Kunikida will clock in and begin their work day. He focuses back on you and grins, intrigued.

“Anxious, then? I guess the ability to see the future will do that to ‘ya.” Dazai sighed, crossing his legs and resting his chin on his hand. He was content to watch you finish setting the cards down in a formation he admittedly did not understand.

” What does that one mean?” he says, pointing to one of the cards. Its flickering surface shows a woman with mint-colored hair pulled up into a bun. Behind her, there’s a black mass, and she seems to be standing in a graveyard. There are two Xs at the top of the card. You redirect your attention to the card he’s hovering his finger over and smile.

”That’s Judgment—renewal, reflection, awakening, or reckoning. For a personal reading, it would mean going through a period of self-evaluation or maybe even trying to understand the people around you and your situation more.” You explain, seemingly done with the spread and setting down the other cards nearby. Dazai purses his lips.

”Sounds gloomy. Lame!” He huffs, upset by his choice. you gasp and narrow your eyes.

”Don’t call them lame! You’ll piss them off, Dazai.” You hiss, smacking him on the arm. Dazai grins and leans closer, smile growing coy.

”Really now? And how exactly does one do that?” Dazai prods. You stick your tongue out and cross your arms.

“Not telling. Now shut up and let me do my reading.” You grumble, eyes flicking over the cards. Dazai whines and throws himself forward, almost shoving you off of Atsushi’s chair.

”Dude!” You yelp, hands scrambling to grasp his coat as he rights himself. Dazai grabs you by the shoulders and shakes, intent on being the biggest possible nuisance.

”That’s boring! Do your reading laterrrr; it won’t matter, right? Ne- do a reading for me! I wanna know my future,” He begs, grinning. You blink and scowl, pushing him away.

”First off, it would matter. Doing a reading later would be a completely different outcome. Just wait. All I have to do is interpret these. I’ll do yours after.” You grumble, adjusting their sleeves and settling back into the chair. Dazai harrumphs but settles into his own chair to watch you silently read the cards.

You focus back on the cards, and Dazai settles himself by watching you idly. You’re dressed in what you always wear to work, but it’s casual enough to know doubt have been breaking the dress code had you not been working under Ango for so long.  There’s a small scrunch to your nose as you focus on your task, and Dazai can spot how you run your tongue over your teeth in thought. Dazai looks away pointedly. Taking a few breaths, he forcibly clears his mind. How odd.

”Okay, done.” You hum, straightening and starting to pick up the cards. He shifts so his whole body is faced toward you. You take gentle care of the cards, putting them back into the deck.

”Why do they flicker like that? You aren’t using your ability,” he asks, curious about the shifting images on the cards. You shrug.

”Don’t know. It happens no matter what deck I use, though I prefer using this one. The images just shift into the same ones most of the time, though some have changed over time.” You explain, shuffling the cards. Dazai reaches out and hovers over your hand before poking the back of it gently. You let him despite knowing the outcome.

The images on the cards still lying on the table flicker, completely uninterrupted, even as Dazai feels the shiver of his ability eating away at yours. He hums and pulls away. He hadn’t been paying attention when he jostled you earlier, but you were right- they were unaffected.

”Strange, but not unheard of. Some ability effects aren’t considered active enough for my ability to erase.” Dazai says, allowing you to continue. you finish and present him with the deck, pulling away when he goes to take them.

”Don’t be mean to them. They’ll be mean to you. You can’t even think anything negative; they’ll know. You’re gonna cut the deck in 3, okay? We’ll do a simple reading.” you explain, and only once Dazai agrees (crosses his heart and hopes to die!) is he gently handed the cards.

”What do you want to read? We can focus on love, or money, or your career, things like that.” You say. Dazai ponders for a moment before sniffing, mouth settled into a pompous pout.

”I want to know if someone will finally be interested in a double suicide with me.” He huffs. You scoff.

”You’re insane. Okay, so love. Think about that while you cut them.” You nod, giving him the go-ahead. He runs his fingers over the well-loved edges and slots his thumbs through the deck where it feels right, setting the individual cuts down on the desk before them. He tries to take it as seriously as possible, though thinking about love has always made him squirm and itch beneath his skin.

You reach over once he’s done and clear your throat, carefully picking the top cards on each deck and laying them out in front of him. On the left, the first card flipped is a wheel, seemingly in the sky and surrounded by clouds. The clouds float by calmly, though Dazai can’t find anything particularly personal to you the way some of the other cards would show.

It’s made a little more difficult considering the card’s orientation- upside down.

You hum at it before moving on. The card in the middle is revealed, and this one piques his interest. He grins a little at the image. Two figures hold goblets in their hands, strings of power rising from the cups and meeting above their heads to form a Yin and Yang sign. The figures are startingly familiar- one dark-haired, the other light-haired. Accents in their hair match each other, silver and black clashing and melding nicely. This one’s facing right-side up. The image flickers to show the energy that swirls around, occasionally circling their respective holders.

The last one flicks onto the wooden desk with a hollow sound. The image is soft, not unlike the first one with the blue sky. A sun takes up the upper half, rays pronounced against the sky. Ttheire’s a little kid in the illustration, their beaming face scrunched up in happiness. There’s a flag clutched in one hand, with the other gripping onto the mane of the white horse they’re perched upon. Sunflowers frame them, peaking over the illustrated garden wall behind them.

It’s an endlessly endearing picture, and from the smile, he has a feeling he knows who it is. Like the last one, it’s right-side up.

You settle your chin against your palm, leaning on the table with a hum.

”That’s….a really nice reading, actually.” You move to point at the cards. Dazai sits patiently with his hands on his lap. Nothing more fascinating than seeing someone in their element, he supposed.

”That first one is The Wheel of Fortune. Upside down, it’s a little darker. It represents your past,” you pause, looking at him for a moment. “I think for you, it’s focused on the feeling of helplessness—lack of power or control…like you had love but couldn’t control how and when you lost it,” you say, your voice soft. Dazai fights to ignore the discomfort building in his throat.

”Well, what can I say? My dark past haunts me,” he bemoans, and you huff a soft laugh. You move on to the next card- the cups. You look a little embarrassed by this one.

”This one is the present. Two cups represent…well, partnership. More specifically, the realization of a new partnership. This one can be pretty romantic. I guess you’ve got something to look forward to soon,” you say, pointedly ignoring the images of his two kohais. He grins, sparing you of the teasing. He didn’t know how well you even knew Akutagawa- but it was amusing to see everyone could see what those two denied vehemently.

”The last one is the future. You got The Sun, which is actually really sweet.” Through your embarrassment, Dazai watches a sweet smile grow on your face. He matches it easily.

“It means joy and success, for you in particular. It means…whatever or whoever your two cups is for, you’ll be very happy together.” You say, and Dazai sighs wistfully.

”Maybe someone will finally want to commit suicide with me! This news might keep me alive a day longer just yet,” Dazai coos. You groan and take a deep breath, seemingly ignoring him as you duck your head down and then start to put the cards back.

”You better hope you didn’t piss this deck off, Dazai.” you huff, glaring. Dazai pouts, cradling his face in his hands.

“What?! I followed all your rules; I would never,” he whines. You flip him off and busily tuck the cards into a soft leather pouch. He lets his hands drop and watches for a moment.

”Thanks for the reading,” Dazai says, his voice back to normal. You glance at him and smile.

”Yeah, no problem. It’s nice to read without my ability once in a while,” you admit, expression soft. He grins. Something stirs in his chest.

”You can read me whenever you want, lovely.” He purrs jokingly. You startle, flushing. You glare and kick him with your foot.

”Don’t say shit like that,” you mutter. Dazai whines out a laugh, having settled on teasing you until he could see the smoke coming out your ears.

Before he could continue, the door creaks open, and the overhead lights flick on. Multiple people come shuffling in, and Dazai can hear Kunikida conversing lowly with Fukuzawa. The secretaries also file in, chattering contently amongst themselves. Fukuzawa and Kunkida pause only to greet them both. you wave politely, and Dazai salutes them both.

you blink your eyes to adjust to the light now flooding the room. Dazai huffs and stands with a groan.

”Alright, I’ve got five minutes to get out of here. You’ll be going in to see Shachou, right?” He asks, stretching. you stand and nod, giving him a look.

”Where are you going?” you ask, picking up your bag. He groans at the way his back pops as he rights himself from his stretching.

”Home. I only came here 'cause I was bored. But in the long run, it’ll be a lot funnier if Kunikida’s mad all morning when I don’t show up~” He snickers. you shake your head, a smile pulling at your mouth.

“You’re so lame. See you, then.” You sighed, heading down the hall Kunikida and Fukuzawa had disappeared down.

”And yet you love me. ‘Till we meet again,” he calls, pointedly ignoring the yell you let out.

”Whatever!” you yelped, and Dazai let the agency door click closed behind him.

He grins. Curious indeed.

note — can you tell i love brothers! atsushi and dazai? also, the woman in Judgement is Mizuki Tsujimura, who I headcanon is pretty good friends with reader in this one. :) please let me know if there are any pronoun inconsistencies! this was originally written with she/her pronouns, and i did my best to fix it to match the gender neutral style i like to use for tumblr stuffs.

©neevblanc 2024 // do not plagiarize or repost

[journal420]

Please yap about monster falls stancest I wanna hear all your thoughts about them

YEEEEEEEASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

see. i think i said it in the tags of another post earlier but. im obssessed w the idea that they turn into monsters after fords return.

i know a lot of ppl nowadays do monster falls as a thing where like. everyone is just a monster naturally, like humanity is just a bunch of folk tale monster and human hybrids. BUT ive always liked the og idea its a phenomenon in gravity falls the town because of an enchanted spring somewhere in the woods

stan being a gargoyle just makes him complain more. sure, he isnt dealing with as much back or knee pain anymore, but he's literally made of stone. he's heavy, if he stomps too much he may break some of the older wooden floorboards in the shack. he cant fit in his old shoes because of claws, cant wear his fez properly because of his horns, and now he has to worry about a tail he cant properly control yet and wings. and he cant even fly! i like to think his back brand from the portal incident makes it so one of his wings is just basically burnt off. plus, he ripped through his dress shirt and mr mystery coat with his wings. bummerrrrrr. now he looks just as ugly as he feels

and then theres ford, who i think would be fascinated by the spring since he never encountered it during his couple years of study. he's self assured and confident in himself, especially now. he knows hes a freak and doesnt bother hiding it. he's actually really impressed with his physical changes, he gets wings, a tail, large paws that make writing difficult but he manages, and he starts sprouting fur almost all over. he has to resew his jacket and shirt to make holes for his new wings, but he doesnt mind. he does a lot of study on himself and then moves onto the family, taking looots of notes about deer dipper and unicorn mabel.

so. if this happens before weirdmageddon, dude the stans are Hating eachother, but its still tense. ford wants to ask stan a bunch of questions and write notes about his new biology, but he's also really mad at stan. yknow? meanwhile stan is even more jealous that fords the "superior" twin. ford gets to be a colorful, cool looking sphinx thing that can fly, meanwhile stan just got uglier.

if it happens post weirdmageddon during one of the twins summer visits while the stans dock their boat to hang w the kids, then theyre definitely able to ............................... erm. explore. the side effects of being monsters in a more gentle and loving way with eachother. hehe

[signanothername]

Ayo, how are u?

So i have to ask even if i already did it- just because sometimes i got really tempted to do it but i don't really want to bother you

So, you don't mind if i (or other people) randomly pin you in some post right? Sometimes i see a post that for some reason reminds me of your blog (i see it a lot actually, especially if it is related to Killer), but i just get embarrassed in the most of the times, at the same time i really wanted to interact with u more

I know people do this to you and others a lot (usually people you seem to have some often interaction?) i just want to make sure I'm not looking like a creepy or being annoying (bc i just like your art and way of dealing with the blog)

And i just don't notice those things for some reason, and I'm not a very smart person when come to socialize so i got pretty bad experiences what means i said awkward things without noticing lololololol

If it isn't explicit written on my face i cant understand it properly (ofc i know basic human limits, okay? I'm just a little slow)

Anyways probably embarrassing myself for this but as my brain don't work properly i have to ask

Sorry to bother

and for the bad english

:)

Hello!! I’m doing good!

And you’re not a bother at all! <333

And yes, it’s completely ok to tag me in posts! Whatever post you like, it doesn’t even have to be fandom related! I love seeing what people tag me in <3333

If you tag me and I don’t reblog or reply or at least let you know i saw it within a week at least, assume I missed it within the many notifications I get, I try to keep up with notifications, but sometimes it’s genuinely really hard to, so please feel free to send me an ask (I always check my inbox) telling me you tagged me in something , so I’d look for your tag <333

But yes, I love when people tag me in things, you’re allowed to tag me in as many posts as you’d like, the only condition I have, is that you please don’t tag me in posts surrounding controversy or discourse, otherwise, please feel free to tag me as much as you like <33333

(And your English is really good! <333)