#cannot function today
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Coffee made ☑️
Music on ☑️
Rainy day ☑️
Laptop open ☑️
Two WIPs drafts waiting to be edited ☑️
Four new plot ideas written down since yesterday ☑️
Actual writing 0️⃣❌🚫🤡
One of those days 🙄😮💨
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The number of times I reach for, "I'll make a complicated baking project!!!!" because I know it'll take time and concentration (i.e., I can't focus on anything beyond the mechanical for a bit) and comes with a positive output that people who aren't me appreciate (i.e., desserts) makes me think I need other coping mechanisms.....and also that I might somehow understand those people who work out a lot.
#working out sounds terrible and I don't want to but counterpoint: I cannot keep making cookies.#I went through 4 lbs of butter today. that's....so much butter.#I don't even want to eat them! I have virtually no sweet tooth!#I just want something repetitive and mechanical that I can do while my higher brain functions take a lunch break.#(admittedly I am making christmas cookies they're going to go in my freezer for a few weeks#it's not SO ridiculous. but still ridiculous.)#no love sincerer than the love of food
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actually one of the details that frustrates me the most from TSATS, relating to how much the book completely erases or absolutely bastardizes neurodivergence, is how Percy's cameo is characterized.
One of the consistent things aspects of Percy's relationship with the education system throughout the series is that Percy is smart, and he does try in school, but he has a learning disability. The only reason he gets bad grades is because he has a learning disability and the way the modern american education system is built is inherently at odds with that. In the first series we actually have explicit references to Percy doing better in school when he's in environments that actually accommodate for his disabilities! It's not that he's not trying, he's disabled.
So it is so disheartening and horrible to see Percy characterized in TSATS as just being disinterested in school, and his failing grades being made a joke about implying him ditching classes because he just doesn't care. That's the number one ableist thing ADHD/dyslexic students hear! Implying that they "just don't care" and dismissing their disabilities. It is so horrible to see that joke being made in the Percy Jackson series of all franchises. Especially when you add that on to the rest of the quite frankly ableist characterizations in TSATS and how much the book erases Nico and Will's disabilities/neurodivergence.
#pjo#percy jackson#riordanverse#tsats crit#rr crit#tsats#the sun and the star#adhd#yes im back on my BS i was randomly reminded of this#YOU CANNOT DIVORCE PJO FROM DISABILITY/NEURODIVERGENCE. YOU CANNOT.#IF YOU DO IT IS NO LONGER PJO BECAUSE THAT IS THE LITERAL CORE OF THE SERIES#and i dont care how TSATS was labeled. the alleged themes they were ''representing'' were either nonexistent or horribly depicted#this was in the drafts cause i was thinking abt it the other day#but i am sick today and annoyed about disability stuff so into the wild it goes#i was in a complaining mood that day and now my brain has ceased functioning but w/ever#i will queue some cute art for a lil bit after this#cause i do not like to be negative
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhgauhghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhuhghgg
#I have a schedule to get things done but my legs are not functioning without pain again today#and the brain shit is comng back#since i had to stop all treatments and medications ill just have days where I Cannot Do Anything and#i would pay real money to have this transfered to another day where I did not have Things To DO#I need a mech body that never faulters so I can be a productive beast#sara shush
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wait actually. Ford routinely calls reader a succubus during sex. not because its the only explanation for the way he feels, he's gotten over that, but because it's the only way he can express *how* reader makes him feel. like they drive him insane with lust, it's almost unnatural. he's pushing 70, he should not be able to get it up like this anymore, you must have cast a spell on him
You know, I'm convinced you and I share a brain. Like, fully convinced.
I have a document of gender-neutral seductive cryptid-types, and a doc of Latin/Middle English/Archaic terminology etc, for Ford to use in this exact scenario LMAO. I think it suits him to use old language especially because he's a smarty pants.
Where I can't find a GN version of a monster, I vaguely describe the effect that alludes to someone as being of supernatural origin by identifying similar traits without actually calling them a specific creature and allowing them to imagine their own type instead.
Using old descriptors rather than modern English means that I don't have to use gendered language in a lot of instances because Latin either has neuters OR the alternate language option is so archaic that the root gender doesn't matter because the language is obsolete to 99.9% of people.
Plus, when I fuck around with old language it often reads in such a foreign way that it doesn't inspire the idea of a gender anyway, and it takes so long to work out the actual answer to its gender root if you look it up yourself (because of fucking declensions) that you'd get bored just trying to figure it out >:)
#i am actively tricking your brains and you cannot stop me#i'm in your walls lying about latin and shit#asks#ford asks#does this even make sense? i am so tired i slept for like 14 hours today i'm nothing more than a worm in terms of functioning power rn
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oh yeah magneto and his iron balls
good morning chat
#snap chats#am i crying because magneto and his iron balls is really tickling my goat or because of Everything Else you decide#its gonna be the former cause i just keep saying 'magneto and his iron balls save me' to myself i cant i cannot function today#they makin me go to CLASS in less than an hour bro let me stay inside today ...
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hello!! I just stumbled across your blog not too long ago, and let me just say, as someone who used to be so madly in love w tintin too 4-3 years ago, it makes my heart burst in joy because it makes me so happy seeing someone love the same person that I used to love as well. Tintin is SUCHH an underrated character and series as a whole, so seeing this just makes me so happy both for him and for you.
keep loving him! And cheers to your relationship ❤️❤️ You two look so wholesome together.
GOODNESS YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME BLUSH OVER HERE... THANK YOU SO MUCH. 🥹💖
he deserves ALL the love!!! he is literally the perfect man! bless his soul I adore him SO MUCH. ideal boyfriend material right there! he's polite, he's well-mannered, he's a gentleman, he's kind, he would TREAT ME RIGHT. in my language we have the saying "the dream of a mother-in-law" referring to a well-behaved chivalrous young man. that's tintin. (I actually believe a website once referred to him as exactly that lmao.)
ANYWAYS I'm getting off track I just love gushing about how wonderful he is. I am so glad you enjoy my ship with him!!! TYSM for the kind words, you've made my day! ❤️
#asks#anonexistentnerd#🧡🗺️#sorry for the late reply to this today I ingested too much caffeine so I feel like I'm on 9000pounds of coke#and cannot function like a human being
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AND ANOTHER THING ABOUT LEON SEXY KENNEDY
adore adore adore the design in re6 with his longer hair flaring at his neck. he IS a lion. he has become the kitty cat letting his mane grow out
and if it stays brown? bitches say dark manes are hella popular...
(alpha rawr awgoo sigma kennedy so much testosterone rawwfg)
#resident evil#let's just call today brain damage saturday#post migraine#east coast is cloudy and i cannot function
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Ferrari is about faith, they value devotion and loyalty, it is a religion above all else. Ferrari is about the bond between the devotee and the team, it's about the unshakable belief that one day their dream will become a reality and about the determination needed to see that dream come to fruition. Many will kneel and pray at the altar of the prancing horse but only a select few will get to rise and write the next chapter of its' gospel. To some it offers salvation, to others only destruction. Ferrari demands sacrifice, it will take and take until there is nothing left to give because it is the dream, the legacy, that matters most, not the devotee. Yet, they still dream and they still pray anyway, because who knows, maybe they'll be the one, the promised prince, the predestined one, the one who will give it their all and more and who'll return the glory of golden days past. There's cruelty and there's beauty in it, it's both tragic and divine. Ferrari is about legacy and they never forget their heroes.
Red Bull is not Ferrari, though they bleed and cut the same.
Red Bull is about conviction, it is no religion but it requires faith just the same. Faith in one's self, in the team, is paramount. Red Bull backs their own absolutely and without hesitation. No matter how far their prodigal sons roam, Red Bull will always back them and, if the time comes, welcome them home again. Red Bull is also a promise, an oath, a vendetta. They are the personification of fuck around and find out and may god help any soul who dares doubt that. They rarely forgive and they do not forget, you go after one, you will get them all, they will always close ranks to protect their own. Their passion and their seemingly unstoppable drive are a direct fuck you to all who doubt them. While Ferrari is about their legacy, Red Bull is about their future, they have always strived and fought and persevered in the pursuit of the next one. Every victory and every moment of glory is not in spite of their doubters, but because of them, because of those who made Red Bull their villain. If nothing else, Red Bull will gladly give them a show.
Red Bull is not Ferrari, yet they still bleed and cut the same.
It takes a very specific driver to master the prancing horse or the red bull, because you can never truly tame either beast. Many have failed trying. But there are still those who become one with those beasts, drivers where, as time goes on, it's difficult to decipher where the team ends and they begin.
Drivers like that usually come once in a generation, yet they were born just sixteen days apart. The predestined son of Ferrari and the Red Bull golden boy. What a fascinating pair they make. What a spectacular legend, mythos, they are creating.
#max verstappen#charles leclerc#lestappen#i wanted to write more and better but they've genuinely broken me today lmfao#i keep thinking about the 0.000 i cannot even the fucking poetry of that alone#will write something better when my brain can function lol#high-key this is more Ferrari and red bull than about them lmao but again they broke me `\_(°•°)_/` c'est la vie
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having a good day is so wild like what do you MEAN I'm not miserable and unmotivated and crushingly apathetic and absolutely exhausted brain fog just want to sleep???
#makes me realise oh. i am not well normally#whoops#i think. i think its side effects from the birth control which im supposed to give three months to stabilise#i do not think it was always this bad#the trouble with me is i cannot ever remember what it was like before#like ive never been good since i was about eleven#but i think this is a higher level of bad for me#worst thing is its still better than it was before#i could not continue having one week of every month be absolutely world consuming depression having to fight so hard to keep myself safe#that was just not continueable#so we tryin#cos yeah its shit and there's been periods where i can barely function#but ive been safe#and its not been all consuming#and its definitely got better so fingers crossed 🤞#the world doesn't hurt today and things are relatively easy#i dont get that very often and it's nice#ANYWAY pity party over lmao#many others have it so much worse#mine
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feeling like one of those fcked up popsicles rn,,
#ying's art#original art#ying's sonas#sona#void ying#doodle#digital#IT'S TOO FCKING HOT#i was gonna work on my other zine piece but i cannot function like this ugh..#just a phone doodle for today-
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Mr. Austria becomes a republic, circa 1919
#hetalia#aph austria#hws austria#hws#i had a job interview today so I cannot function any more than this#I mean he was raised by them you know#he probably wasn’t Edelstein until later#that’s my idea here
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begging & pleading for my mother to leave me alone for just one fucking day please.
#i have had such a weekend and parts of it were very good but other parts were horrible and i am So Done.#like i genuinely just need to sit and not do anything for a day before i can be functional#i was going to bake today to at least get my cake done but i just do not have the mental energy#txt#'what are you doing' 'nothing.' 'then do something' PLEASE JSUT LEAVE ME ALONEEEEEEEEEEEEE#This is why i hate living with people i literally need days where i cannot do anythihg and the pressure makes it Worse. like#yes family is coming. yes theyre gonna be here next week. i know. I know. I KNOW. IM NOT STUPID. PLEASE JUST LET ME DO NOTHING FOR ONE DAY#I CAN DO THINGS AFTER THAT BUT OH MY GKD PLEASE. ONE DAY. THANK YOU.
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why is my brain deciding to have a panic attack at 3am when i have important shit to do in the morning i am going to kms
#idk my body is dying bc i haven’t been able 2 eat for the last few weeks bc i’m so stressed#and bc i’m stressed i’m smoking loads#kind of want 2 ask someone @ uni for some advice bc they’re all sexy cool learned scholars who publish books all the time#but i can’t just be like hi girl how do you deal w academic pressure without self harming#idk kind of want to off myself or hit my head off a wall or smoke until i die i can’t do this idk what’s wrong w me#like its just essays bro i do this all the time even if i failed the world wouldn’t end#but past month my brain is like no i’m going to make you vomit from anxiety all the time#i cannot keep functioning on basically no sleep or food but i’m so stressed i can’t do anything else#honestly it might just be bc i’ve had an insane amount of caffeine and nicotine today and i’m starving and unmedicated#if someone knows how to not die please tell me i feel like my lungs are eating themselves i’m so anxious
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hey so my church is doing a youth group camping trip this weekend that's been in the plans literally since the beginning of the year, but now that we're in the final stretch, the weather is looking really really iffy. could y'all just pray if you don't mind that by some miracle the weather will be okay so this trip can go forward as planned?
#I went in to church today to help the youth pastor's wife with last minute plans and stuff#and now both of us are very stressed at the fact that we don't know what's going to happen#like... we can't plan ANYTHING. because we won't know until the DAY OF if it's gonna be okay#so please please pray everything happens as planned bc this#this is The Big Event of the year for both the kids and leaders#and on a more selfish note I SUCK at surviving if I can't make a mental plan in my head so I feel like I'm trapped in limbo rn#like I can't function bc I cannot form any expectations of what's going on#so I can't do anything#anyway.#prayer request#Lu rambles
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they weren’t joking when they said we should brace ourselves for these last episodes of my school president. i feel like i need two years to recover from ep 10 alone
#they killed my feelings. they danced on my grave#i cannot possibly function today#my school president#mj talks
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