#i will queue some cute art for a lil bit after this

[aroaceleovaldez]

actually one of the details that frustrates me the most from TSATS, relating to how much the book completely erases or absolutely bastardizes neurodivergence, is how Percy's cameo is characterized.

One of the consistent things aspects of Percy's relationship with the education system throughout the series is that Percy is smart, and he does try in school, but he has a learning disability. The only reason he gets bad grades is because he has a learning disability and the way the modern american education system is built is inherently at odds with that. In the first series we actually have explicit references to Percy doing better in school when he's in environments that actually accommodate for his disabilities! It's not that he's not trying, he's disabled.

So it is so disheartening and horrible to see Percy characterized in TSATS as just being disinterested in school, and his failing grades being made a joke about implying him ditching classes because he just doesn't care. That's the number one ableist thing ADHD/dyslexic students hear! Implying that they "just don't care" and dismissing their disabilities. It is so horrible to see that joke being made in the Percy Jackson series of all franchises. Especially when you add that on to the rest of the quite frankly ableist characterizations in TSATS and how much the book erases Nico and Will's disabilities/neurodivergence.

[avaritia-ffxiv]

So anyway so far I have Renvanna + Calhoun, Giovanna and Calhoun has Chase who's so far died TWICE. One time he drowned 'cause I made the mistake of turning autonomy on for a second and he went for a swim with low energy. If I didn't have the 'kids can die of anything' mod he would've probably been fine 'cause he was a child, but I have that mod 'cause fuck giving immunity to tiny beings.

So he died.

The second time was as a teen 'cause he had a mood swing.

(It's fine tho I cheated him back to life after both times.)

Chase and Giovanna are presently Enemies. Giovanna got to the top of the Criminal career and became The Boss, except then right away I had her quit and her and Ren moved to the countryside where they now have a cute little farm. Calhoun's still doing Calhoun things, working on his own career while getting aspirations like the Serial Romantic and whatever the new heartbreaker thing was.

I also have Nura! He has a cute lil cottage in a lil village in the countryside where he's fiddling around with his garden while on the gardener career.

And of course Gilya, from their modern AU. Ilya's a craftsman and very handy with the woodworking bench, makes a lot of money out of that. Gia went into university to get the Fine Art degree, then he'll become an Interior Decorator 'cause I got a mod that makes that degree give a boost to that career.

Still gotta make Simona and Seba, and I think I'm gonna toss Ramona somewhere in there.

In the same save are also a bunch of Elezen derivaties! We have Rise and Angoul doing spellcaster things, Minuinne and Laugreint living a happy lil life for now, before she gets to die horribly. Anastazie isn't in there yet, but she's in my gallery as a vampire. Also her husband. Who's also gonna die once I plop them down. Very unfortunate, that.

And of course Latielle and Astreul. She's a medium (and also a spellcaster), he's a werewolf and that's. Yeah. Yeah.

I gotta built their family trees a bit. Minuinne already has her parents and brother, but Rise needs her parents and Darcevain's parents so I can make Darcevain. Really want to add Damon in too. Make him the Gloomiest man alive, gotta get to that.

In a different save I have Rivka and Reid's shenanigans with Shinya in there too. Gotta make Hiraku as well. Shinya also has a massive family which has been... A lil painful when they all decided to stay over. Think I'll give Hiraku his mom as well. I've played a couple of Shinya's siblings too, one I made a property owner and the other a competitive rider, but those are pretty WIP.

Was there anyone else? Can't remember off the top of my head.

Infinitely amused over the fact that I can leave Gilya to socialize unsupervised and 100% chance they'll just go WooHoo after flirting for a bit, but if I let Giovanna queue a single interaction with Ren, she'll just end up yelling at him or some other Mean interaction, since she has the Evil trait and apparently their relationship doesn't save him from that lmaooooo.

Also Ren has the Kleptomaniac trait and I hope he never comes over to any of my played households I've built nice houses for 'cause my items will not be safe. It's fun to play him tho and have him steal items.

Hopping from TS4 to FFXIV and not knowing how the camera controls work anymore.

[why-i-ask]

I've been wanting to do things with these prompts for ages but I don't have art skills. So, >-< writing. Big long. 

-Star Guardian AU -

It’s the sound of the old school clock striking three that draws Ezreal’s attention away from blankly staring at the pages of an old chemistry book. It’s hard to think of school when you have an alter ego living in a galaxy above saving the world every night. He Exhales and closes the book finding it pointless to pretend any longer. 

“Something wrong?” Chipped the soft voice of the pink haired mage besides him.

He flinched he’d almost forgotten he invited Lux to study with him. 

“No just, can’t focus.”

“I get that, why don’t we get coffee?”

“This place has a coffee shop?” Ezreal mused, he’d never really looked around outside of their shared accommodation. He wanted to explore the stars not the streets. 

“Yea, It’s really cute. Also is hiring-” Lux smiled, tapping his shoulder as she strutted past him.

“I think I’ve got enough work to do.” He rolled his eyes, standing up and tucking the books back into his bag. 

Ezreal would be lying if he said Lux was wrong. The place was adorable. A small shop on the corner, with little ivory tables and chairs set about it’s front protected by a brown fence decked in vines, the open sign was a soft lavender, shimmering in the window. As they opened the door, the old chimes range overhead. The inside was an array of pastels, the walls in a soft lemon, with the tables and chairs were in a checked mint. The counter was a baby blue, he stared at the array of cakes in their display trays at one side, as they approached the cashier straighten. He was a young male, perhaps the same age as them working some part time for extra cash. He looked tired though, the dark shades under his eyes even visible with his dark chocolate skin. 

“Hey, Can I take your order?”

“Yea- Do you guys still do that amazing strawberry cheesecake?” Lux chimed. 

“That was last weeks special, this time is raspberry it rotates every week.”

“Hm, shame. Then just two super choco brownies and a strawberry smoothie for me- What do you want Ez?” She turned to look at him, drawing the cashier’s attention to him as well. 

Ezreal bit his lip he hadn’t payed enough attention to the menu; he scrunched his face up in thought, the Cashier rolled his eyes messing with a lose strand of his white hair that had escape the taming of a messy bun. 

“Take your time, there’s not a queue yet.” He hummed, “before turning round to the kitchen outlet, “Tal, can you start fix up the order on screen..”

Ezreal sighed, glancing back across the small menu on the desk, his eyes glancing across the sweets. “uhm, Can I have a latte and a caramel slice?”

The cashier smiled slightly, “Sure, got a name for that?”

“uh, Ezreal-”

“Great. You tow paying separately or together?”

“I’m paying,” Lux smiled, “It’s my treat afterall, long day.”

Ezreal was about to protest but lux elbowed him and he decided against it. There wasn’t much point in arguing she could be stubborn she got that from Jinx. 

“Your total is 28.50. You can sit down if you like. we’ll bring it to your table. ” 

Lux grinned fishing around her purse for a few notes handing them over, before turning and grabbing Ezreal arm, pulling him to one of the corner tables. 

“What do you think?” She hummed, nudging the table décor to the side. 

“It’s nice..”

“No, I know that- I mean him.”

Ezreal blinked, she was really trying to set him up like that? She really wanted him to move on. “No.”

“C’mon, why not? Star guardian too busy for love? You weren’t to busy to run after me-”

“That was different. I don’t have to keep anything secret from you.”

Lux sighed and shook her head, the spacebuns she had decided to sport seemed to lag in their movements. “Not everything has to be about saving the universe.” 

Ezreal huffed, She was right and he didn’t like that. He wanted to pretend it could entirely be about fighting monsters; saving the world being a hero. mysterious, adored. Yet she was right he had a real life too. They were sat in silence for only a few minutes, watching other guests enter, sit down to chat or walk away with a small coffee. Then the server approached, she must’ve also been a part time hire; though she was much more lively than the cashier. Her short brown hair tied in spacebuns almost twinning lux’s current hairstyle, which caused a grin to spread across her face. Her bright chestnut eyes glittered with excitement as she set the tray down on the table. 

“Hey, sorry for the wait. Brownies and a strawberry smoothie.” she hummed, setting down the plate and glass before lux. 

“Thank you! it’s not a problem!”

“and a caramel slice and coffee for....Asreal?” Her face scrunched slightly as she glanced at the cup to read before placing it down with the plate before Ezreal. 

“Thanks-” He hummed, though his attention was drawn to the bad spelling of his name on the cup. He didn’t think it was that hard to spell. 

She picked up the empty tray, “Enjoy! If you want anything else feel free to ask!”

“We will, Thank you...Taliyah? I love the hair by the way.” Lux grinned, leaning over slightly to look at the name tag on the waitress’ pastel red uniform. 

Taliyah practically glowed at the compliment, 

“Next-” It was the fairly loud shout from the Cashier that drew her attention and caused her to hurry back to behind the counter.

Lux giggled picking up a brownie and biting into it. “What about her?”

“Lux! I’m not that pathetic to have a crush on just anyone who’s nice to me!” 

She laughed, “of course not~ I’m teasing.”

Ezreal huffed, sipping from the latte. It was bittersweet and hot- perhaps he should’ve specified the sugar addition and waited- He place it back down trying not to wince at the slight burn. 

“but I do mean it, you need to get out more. In the real world.”

He sighed, taking a bit from the caramel square. “I know.”

 Lux was quick to pick up on the irritation in his tone and turned the conversation swiftly to the subjects of school; English to be precise. some of play by a dead guy Ezreal had since forgotten the name of. She was quite happy to chatter on allowing him brief moments to interrupt with his own thoughts. They remained in the shop for perhaps thirty minutes, the snacks gone and drinks drunk before lux’s finally finished her rant. 

“oh my, is that the time? We should head back and meet up with the other’s.”

Ezreal nodded standing up, he piled the plats and cups up before they took their leave. 

                                                            ~~~ 

It was Saturday evening, sitting board in the longue watching Soraka and lulu  playing chess on the old coffee table. When Lux, swung round again, “Hey guys.. before we have our movie night why do we go out?”

“where? Y’know those restaurants are just so pricey and not worth it-”

“What about the cafe?”

“that lil shop on the corner near school?” Lulu tilted her head. “It always smells so nice.”

“Yeah. It’s got pretty good prices.”

So they made the walk off to the corner shop, the dwindling light of the day fading into the sunset as the approached the familiar ivory décor though it was now glowing in a soft umber from the fading light. 

They entered the shop to the familiar jingle of the chimes, This time the cashier was their server; Taliyah. Her hair still tied in it’s space buns, She smiled upon seeing them enter. 

“Hello! What can i get you today?”

Lulu giggled, standing on her tippy toes to peer over the counter, “a menu if you wouldn’t mind-”

“Ah-” Taliyah quickly picked up the sheet on the counter and handed it to her. 

“I’ll have lemon meringue pie, and a J20?” Lux hummed, “never tried the pie before..”

“That sounds great- oh they have apple pies too- I’d like one of those.” Soraka said, glancing back to Ezreal and lulu. 

“Uhm, A latte I suppose with just two sugars- and...a chocolate sundae.”

“ooh! Oh! chocolate sundae with waffles!” Lulu piped up placing the menu down. 

“Do you have a name for your latte?” Taliyah smiled, stifling a laugh at lulu’s reaction as she tapped it into the register again.

“Uhm, Ezreal- But it’s spell with an E.” 

Taliyah shrugged. “Alright...And you’re paying with?” 

“Oh i’’ll paying, You guys can just pay me back later makes everything easier.” Soraka said interupting lux’s offer to just pay the whole thing again. 

“Thanks roka!” 

“Great, your total is 42.69.” Taliyah hummed, “Feel free to sit down and we’ll bring it out...”

Soraka paid and they returned to one of the booths in the side. 

“She’s very nice.”

“Yeah, I wonder if she’s the only one on today, He’s not here today- oh what was his name tag?”

Ezreal shrugged, he hadn’t payed too much mind to the cashier beyond how tired he seemed and the jokes lux had made. 

“Well their not too busy now so they probably don’t need that many people on.” Lulu grinned, before turning to Soraka and pulling out some playing cards. “go fish?”

“You know you always lose...”

“This time i’ll win! I’ve been practicing!”

Soraka laughed softly and took the cards to deal out, Ezreal declined the offer to play. It was more fun to watch than participate in with the way the two could get aggressive. 

A few minutes passed before the counter door swung open and the male from yesterday stepped over carrying a tray brimmed with their order. 

“Evening...” He hummed, a slight grin twisting on his face as he set down each of the treats before each of them. 

He looked at least somewhat happier than last time, though he still seemed tired, Ezreal wondered why, it couldn’t be that hard. Just sitting in the quiet shop all day serving food. Not even everyday of the week? Maybe with school work a little tough. But it shouldn’t be difficult. He hardly notice the other say his name as he handed him the latte. 

“Careful it’s hot.” 

“Thanks..” He hummed, forcing a smile as he flicked his gaze down to see the name tag. “...Ekko.”

“Enjoy guys.” The server;  Ekko hummed as he turned away, this time his hair wasn’t perfectly in it’s high bun but instead it was tied in a mix between a bun and a ponytail as if done up in a hurry. 

“So? Still no?” 

He turned back to face lux and scowled. “Come off it..”

“you’re staring though..”

“He looks tired, don’t know what he has to be tired about he’s not the one saving the world-.” He huffed, brushing off the hint she was giving him. He glanced down to his latte and blinked. Ah. 

‘Ezreel’ He guess he did say with an E. Another misspelling. He shrugged it off, and moved on to pick up the spoon and take a scoop of ice cream. 

Another pleasant night of laughs as lux and Soraka gushed over their favourite movies. Lulu chiming in with her own takes on each film. 

Ezreal didn’t though he listened intently his thoughts were more about how he could get them to spell his name right. That and considering if perhaps Ekko had some secret double life of action that could give him a reason to be so tired; though that was more down to his own bias. Once again they left after forty minutes, placing the empty dishes neatly piled together for ease of collecting. 

Returning back home in time to find Ahri and jinx had picked the movie for them. 

                                                        ~~~

He returned to the coffee shop a few times over the course of the next few weeks. Sometimes accompanied by Lux or lulu other times alone, Yet every time. Regardless of who was one till, he ordered a latte; he’d catch Ekko stifle a laugh at his order, or drop a smirk as he handed him his drink and with out fail there would be a misspelling; Ezrel, Izreel, Aseraphel, Esral, Ezrela. 

He huffed, stubborn and determined as he strolled through the door listening to the chimes ringing once more. He approached the counter, to see the white haired male restocking the display. He glanced up and smiled, 

“What can i get you?”

“Usual a Latte...”

“Got a name for it?” 

“Ezreal. That’s E-Z-”

“I know.” He laughed waving his hand to dismiss him. “Anything else?”

“uhm- no-”

“Wait a second then-”

He watched the other twirl away to the coffee machine, standing awkwardly as he waited; perhaps trying to distract himself with the décor yet his interest was piqued he never really watched them make it. It seemed to make the other happy, humming- he still looked tired that never seemed to change. Though he was used to it now, maybe it was endearing he’d like to know why but it’d be rude to ask. He must’ve zoned out as the next thing he knew the other was back in front of him. 

“That’s 4.99, thanks.”

He nodded, handing over a fiver as he took the coffee 

“Careful it’s-..” Hummed the other, passing the change and receipt. 

“hot I know, like same.” Ezreal mused, a grin spreading across his lips at the other’s slightly surprised expression.

He recovered quickly and nodded, looking over to the next customer. 

Ezreal stepped aside turning to leave he glanced at his drink. 

‘Easy.’ Oh haha. 

He rolled his eyes fumbling with the receipt when something else caught his eye. on the back of the receipt. He flattened it out, a sequence of digit- and a smiley face- 

Weird almost looks like a- Oh. OH. 

He paused and glanced back towards the counter, Briefly catching the other’s gaze watching the smirk tug at his lips as he wrote down the next order. 

He folded it, placing the number into his pocket. Maybe he’d use it.  Maybe he’d get an answer to his question after all. Maybe lux was right all along- Maybe.  Just maybe. 

[dailyjeons]

BTS account 13/10/18

didn’t do merch cause i did that in london, didnt go for studio cause that was probably not feasible with how our lines were going (at least i was too scared to do it).. sucks cause i didnt get allowed into the london booth while in the amsterdam booth everyone was queue-ing up anyways and getting in lol

bolding the subjects so you can skip parts that dont interest you

pre concert stuff So I was going to the concert with a person(Julie) I met through tumblr, she responded to my message asking if people wanted to queue up in GA with me cause I was alone. She was with a group of people and they basically adopted me so that was nice!!  Julie was super kind, constantly looking out for me, for my anxiety too and just I really loved being with her, time really flew!! We prioritized looking out for eachother over seeing the boys so I was really happy bout that! We basically queued up at 7AM in the 'unofficial line' that later on became the official one! Campers were sent out, I believe, but they probably came back early still! We still had a fairly decent spot I suppose? The camping out itself wasn't too stressful but I had a lot of anxiety bout being in the pit in a crowd of people, not havin bathroom breaks and being on 2 hours of sleep gjkfg Julie tried to reassure me through all of that. there were some fans giving out some stuff in the line!! like arts and stuff and i got this from a jimin fansite, i think she was japanese? 

it was so funny basically she did rock paper scissors with fans to determine if they’d win.. i lost but she gave it to me anyways?? LOL she didnt give it to anyone else that lost LOL

gettin into pit Eventually we got in and fortunately my tickets worked!! We like rushed into the left side but the view was not bad, ok, then we tried for the right side and we got similar views? But I think overall it was just a little better! We were around the sixth/fifth row in the pit but we moved up a bit to the fifth/fourth during the concert. I had a fairly good view on the stage, and could see the boys clearly!! I still used my iphone to film cause of the amazing quality zoom it has and i have so much gooood footage ahhhh my hands are super shaky though so thats annoying but oh well, its something! they like handed out water very often thank god so i could cool off and drink durin the concert!! we had to stand for like 3 hours inside so i was getting really nervous but once the concert started it was fine!!

concert Anyways the concert itself was mindblowing? They're actually sosososo good live it's actually insane how they sing live through their choreo or while bouncing around. Tear is still my favorite performance but the crowd went a little too wild around then so i didnt enjoy it as much :( They also did the medley I prefered (w Baepsae) which made so happy cause i got to experience both medleys now jdskfhfsdf.. i do feel like the performances were better for the London date, but the interactions and the boys happiness were on a much higher level in Amsterdam, especially with jungkook flying around trying to dance!! That said I felt like the crowd fell a little bit flat.. When the Jimin/Namjoon VCR was playing everyone was screaming initially for both but after a hot minute they like only screamed for Jimin?? The silence was actually deafening so Julie and I decided to help with Namjoon's screams then, and it was so disappointing we were legitimately the only 2 people screaming for him in such a venue lol. Crowd did however go wild at Kim Seokjin's performance, and IT'S WHAT HE DESERVES. Overall I think Seokjin and Jimin had the best reactions in Amsterdam, and London both.

impressions on boys As for the boys. Gonna be honest with y'all I was so busy filming Jungkook solo all day that I didn't really notice others?? fdjkghdf since i already had thel ondon date i figured today was jungkook's day now i had sights on him proper.. Some notes, Yoongi, Jimin and Namjoon spoke some Dutch and it was super cute!! Yoongi did it first fjgdkhfdg 

Yoongi: Super smol but big hands, and fluffy cheeks (he bloats really easily lolol) his see saw performance was REALLY good today too, i feel like reaction to seesaw is the best, everyone's always singing the whole song w it while most of the crowd struggled with their title tracks in both london and amsterdam LOLLL yoongi must be so proud over it.. also he's the first to speak in dutch to us but it was like really suddenly right before they were performing so nobody really noticed fjghkdfg and u know when he makes a dad joke and he smiles flustered, but nobody reacts to his jokes.. he did that thing LOLLL

Namjoon; very long and slender, his legs are legit 70% of his body and he went offffff today like when he's into shit like tear i cry cuz oh my god merCY kjdfhgdhjkfg Namjoon seemed to really love Amsterdam tbh he kept talking bout stuff to do while the others had fairly standard stuff to say, with a lot of repeat from the london concert too (which is fine vconsidering its hard for themt o speak in eng too)

Hoseok: He looks a lot sharper irl?? im not sure if i said differently last time, but now i saw him up close he's definitely much more handsome, cameras dont do him justice.. also he always has the most gentle smile on his face and it calmed me down a lot jkfgh

Taehyung: tbh im not sure if i missed him but i didnt really see him on my side a lot? i think like a few times i tried to film but couldnt really get it..?? julie did tho.. he's kind of.. small? but not small like yoongi but small like i'd confuse him for a high school kid.. BUT his face?? is really smth else his face is SO small but his features are sooooooo big and sharp.. god himself shaped this boy

Jin: ok yeah this man is 10000% more handsome irl liek i was filmin jk and lost focus and then jin appeared and i almost dropped my phone cause what the fuck?? hes GORGEOUS.. he didnt do the forehead/glasses look today though, unfortuantely cause jesus christ that was something else. he was bein a crackhead to jk again today rofll

jimin: he's legit a fairy irl lol it doesnt make sense.. like.. he's... really pretty....... super super super pretty, guys like legitimiately glowing.. he was super playful today and he seemed really happy to perform on his birthday which is super pure considering.. who likes working on their birthday? he like moved his dressshirt/blouse off shoulder a bit during the fake love portion of the set and oh ym god h..e..........HE... his collar... i want 2 kiss it.......platonically.

as for jimin's birthday.. omg he's so cute? they were at the extended stage when his birthday message came up (a message in dutch) and he like instantly rushed back to the main stage to show off his birthday message and he proceeded to talk in dutch about how it's his birthday, and how army are his gift?? it was suuuper cute!! imagine Jimin practicing his dutch just for this moment fdgkjhdf

jungkookie!!

Anyways onto ma boy!! Jungkook is absolutely unreal pretty. He didn't look as bloated/pained today so i guess i saw The Jungkook today and he's so.. sharp looking??? like his jawline and cheekbones are insane and like the dimple?? ughhhhh he looked a lil smaller now i was upclose but his thighs were still gods gift.. also he did forehead kookie instead of coconut kookie, i remain blessed.. he always hears my prayers..

throughout the show he was honestly super cute, he kept dancing in his chair to the choreo, spinning in circles while doing it, hopping around the stage slowly to wave and look at every fan.. he even looked towards me at some point but i legitimately dodged and turned away cause like I FELT SO GReaYS ANd i'd rather not have him see me like that lmaooo anyways it's so super cute how despite his injury he still tries to give it his all at all times, and now he could walk around he's instantly back at trying to make interactions with all fans?? a precious baby honestly!!

his ending ment was really-really sweet as well and it always amazes me how eloquent he can get when he gets to share us his real feelings.. i really am glad he's not too disappointed in himself anymore and has reached a point where he's just working on getting better instead<3!!

other than that, just like in london.. jungkook's vocals are insane. i don't care that he's not top tier vocalist in terms of technique but he got smth completely else and thats' how comffortably he can move around in his range and remain stable and it's just.. so amazing to hear him hit certain notes with almost.. ease? voice never cracks even after 23948234 songs it's so sickkkk

anyways this was definitely one of the best nights in my life.. despite allt hes tress and anxiety.. i’m sosoosos glad i went through all of this for that.. i had the greatest company and ended up having the greatest experience<3

[tumblunni]

Okay the BIG TODAY THING

It seems i might possibly be gone for six months

I've been talking with my support worker about taking a course at this place thats uhh apparantly gonna help me get better with the depressions and stuff. And we had a meeting to go look around the place and make introductions and stuff but i had NO IDEA it would be all such short notice! I might have to move in IN TWO DAYS FROM NOW, what the fuck!!! And like if its not that its gonna be at the end of the week or next tuesday at the latest. Im so fuckin unprepared and im really freakin out!!

..uhh...how to describe it..well i guess its literally a mental asylum? But it's absolutely NOTHING like the horror movie stereotype! Its not a hospital with cages or locked rooms, its just like a big comfy cute shared house. Like a bunch of completely normal small apartment rooms but they just happen to be all connected to a shared kitchen and stuff and have on site nurses and a big schedule of therapy sessions and group activities like pottery class or bowling. You have the freedom to come and go as you please if you're on "voluntarily admitted" status (that's me!) and even if you're on what they call "sectioned" its still not scary loss of all your freedom. The highest level of sectioning is just like "requires an escort"? You're still allowed to go outside but you have a higher level of supervision from your key worker because you could potentially be a danger to yourself. But that's very rare and most people are only on maximum sectioning for a few weeks at the start of their treatment, if they've come straight from a situation of self harm or other concern factors. Most of the "sectioned" patients just have a time limit on how long they can spend on unsupervised outside activity. It's a pretty generous 8 hours apparantly!

So yeah i was getting worried about nothing, thinking i was gonna be in big scary solitary confinement and locked inside a tiny broom closet or jabbed with brain lazers. It honestly just seems like a summer camp resort for adults! And everyone there seems very nice, and im excited for being able to learn life skills like cooking and potential steps towards getting educational qualifications someday. And to have the help of a more specialist support worker who can assist me with even the smallest little problems. Like this nice lady Tazmin (who might be the one i get?) was saying how they've had other people with social anxiety before, and how we could plan "gradual exposure" to all the things that scare me. Like she said she'd be able to come with me and we'd take the bus and them get off at the next stop. That'd honestly be really helpful to help me get over being scared of the crowded spaces on buses, but i'd never be able to do it normally cos i'd be too embarassed taking such a short bus ride. Plus well itd be a waste of money,but if i'm a patient here i would get a free bus pass so it wouldnt be a problem.

Oh and the area seems really nice! Its so different from my stupid house right now in a crowded neighbourhood with NOTHING but houses everywhere for a mile! Its seriously almost a mile's walk to the ONE SINGULAR SHOP IN THE AREA and they close on sundays and dont sell vegetarian food. :( This area around the shared house thingie is a really nice bustling shops place but not super shops? Like i mean its a lovely village that has all the small shops you need, not a huge skyscrapers busy tourist place. The perfect balance of conveinient and not scary! They have a library and a park so close to the place, and a bazillion charity shops holy FUCK im so excited to have charity shops again!! I think you call them thrift shops in america? But i just always really love bargain hunting and finding nice surprises in places like that! And there's places to do pottery classes and group trips sometimes to do stuff like cinema or bowling or just having your big ol scary therapy meeting at the nice coffee shop at the end ot the road.

So yeah dont worry about me guys, im not trapped in some horribke hell place! I'm sure it'll be as non threatening as an Intensive Therapy Boot Camp can possibly be, im just still nervous as hell cos well yeah I Have Social Anxiety And That Is Why I Am Here In The First Place. Im scared im not gonna be able to succeed at this. I really wanna leave at the end and be all mentally buffed up and ready to make all these nice nurses proud!

Oh and man Richard has been so nice about this?? He was super freaked out and apologetic about it being Scary Short Notice, we had a bit of a dumb misunderstanding where he clearly told me and i clearly said yes but i somehow completely misunderstood what he was saying and thought i was saying yes to something else??? So im so fuckin glad that at the very end of the appointment right when i was gonna get out the car he was like 'oh so remember your suitcase on wednesday' and i was like WHAT. Like man can you imagine how much more terrifying it would have been if i just turned up on wednesday with no supplies but the shirt off my back and was like 'wtf where is he driving me OH GOD NO'. Bunni why you so bad at the good of talking!! Seriously richard thanks so much for clearing it up but also AAAAA i accidentally agreed to the shortest of short notice and i dont know if he's gonna be able to reschedule it!!!

And man i was there crying in his car about how i dont wanna be in hospital on my birthday, and babbling all the different things i had planned fot the next few months. And GOD DAMN MY DUMB BRAIN i ended up blurting out that i had a preorder of a videogame that i was gonna miss. And i straight up started explaining pokemon to my mental health counseller who is also a dj, how damn fake does my life sound?? Anyway he said that i'll still be able to keep him as my support worker when i get back out of this, and we'll still have weekly or monthly meetings while i'm in there. And he keeps reminding me that i'm free to leave if i feel uncomfortable, but i know that i'd feel like a failure if i did! So he legit fuckin goddamn said (THIS SOUNDS SO FAKE) that i could take a day off when the dumb game comes out, and he'd play co op pokemon with me. HOLY GEEZUS RICHARD YOU'RE LIKE THAT HOLY GRAIL OF THERAPISTS! And man he even said it wasnt embarassing for me to sleep with a teddy bear and he'd help me pack it up safe and ensure nobody saw it while we move my bags into my new room. And then i was like "uhh but also the teddy bear is a giant lifesize embarassing pokemon merchandise" and he was like "okay so we need DOUBLE STEALTH". Apparantly the new sequel to Pokemon Go is Pokemon Sneak! God he helped calm me down from this freakout so much, he's always great with lil jokes and motivational sayings. And i talked about how i first started being interested in Obscure Deep Sea Slug Facts because pokemon has some characters based on weird real life animals, and like its Very Educational Honest, And Has Appeal For Both Kids And Adults. How on earth did this turn into Motovational Pokemon Blabber Time??? Anyway thats how i ended up texting a professional psychologist pictures of gastrodon at 7.30pm.

SO

Yeah

In summary

I'm mostly just worried cos this is short notice! And cos its such a big commitment that being short notice is Super Bad. I need to friggin clean the whole house top to bottom in two days, so it doesnt get all gross and attract flies while im gone. And i need to toss out like a hundred bucks worth of frozen food that aint gonna keep for 6 months. And i need to wash all my damn clothes. And i dont even have a suitcase and this is at a terrible time where i dont get paid for a week so i cant buy a new one right now!! And damn i DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO TAKE AAAAAA

And the BIGGEST PROBLEM

Is that i wont be able to talk to you guys for half a year!!!

They dont have wifi and im not allowed to take my computer anyway. They only allow laptops and all i have is a desktop and AAAA its too short notice to save up enough to get a laptop mannnnn! Fuck man i didnt even think about that, i need to go pause my broadband internet for six months, do they even allow you to come back after that long?? And man part of me wants to ask to borrow money from friends to get a laptop but i know this time i cant promise to pay you back within the month cos AAAGH ALL OF THIS SHIT!! Like damn man if anyone is willing to let me pay back a hundred and fifty quid in 6 months??not bloody likely!! And man the only place to get a laptop in TWO GODDAMN DAYS is stupid fuckin Amazon :( but god im gonna go stir crazy being unable to do art or gamemaking or friggin anything to occupy myself!! I can bring my 3ds but i barely have any games for it and ive already finished all of them except harvest moon a new beginning which i quit cos it was bad. And the screen is broken anyway gahhh. SO MANY THINGS I NEED MONEY FOR IN SUCH A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME THAT IS NON CONDUCTIVE TO MONEYING

So anyway GAHH i wont have an internet connection in the house, and i'll be able to walk down the hill and use the library computers hopefully at least weekly, but they forbid all social media sites. So like can i get the emails of everyone who wants to keep in contact? Man i dont know how im gonna manage this AAAAA!!! i will send u loads of pics of scenic asylum beauty and dumb updates on my stupid life of probably very little progress.

And AGGGHHH i dont even have the time to plan a blog queue or anything fuck man geez aaaaaaaa

I NEED TO BUY A NEW PAIR OF TROUSERS WITHOUT HOLES IN THE KNEES man i cant live on singular pantage in a shared house

[leonbastralle]

I Feel Like I’ve Missed A Week - Replies

tumblr has been very hungry for comments again so I don’t know if I got them all :/

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset  “newsflash: aureus miracle still sucks at video games”

Don't drag him like this 

he is my most precious tiger and I will absolutely drag him whenever I want to because I LOVE HIM

melien replied to your photoset

I look at him and I feel warm and fuzzy help

ashfmbaksjfbaksjfbaksjfbasasd AAAA I CAN’T HELP BUT THIS IS GREAT

melien replied to your photoset “Charlotte: Yes, sweetie, I did. You’re not all that plain, you know?...”

Connie: yo your one hot hot baby

I’m so proud of her she’s so good at this

melien replied to your photoset “S: Hey, buddy. What’s wrong? You seem bl…I mean, down today. G: It’s...”

Brooooooooomance

I love that this happened tbh...everyone else just always ends up insulting Shine? He’s the only one who rly gets along with him and it’s beautiful Shine deserves a good work buddy

melien replied to your post “I feel lost”

I'm late with starbucks as usual but if you still feel lost you can have a hug! And if you're feeling better you can still have a hug

THIS IS THE CUTEST THING EVER AAAAA ;_; yes I’d like a hug but I have a cold so you gotta be careful! Also you too deserve a huuuge hug for all that catching up ;_;

melien replied to your photoset “G: I felt the same way about Mel and Pathi at first. But let me tell...”

Can I tell you one thing? You always handle these Important Convos in the best possible way and I just need more of them in my life

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA????????? I’M

AHFBAJHSGFBAJSHGBAJSHBAJSHFASD

I hope I can cater to your needs friend ;_; I need to cherish this comment forever

melien replied to your photoset

Their hugs always melt my heart a little bit because they're so good and pure

;_; they’re great huggers there’s so much hugging in this household and just...everywhere this save never fails to warm my heart

amixofpixels replied to your photoset

He does have a wonderful face.

I know, I know ;)

twinsimskeletons replied to your photoset

this face

it does things to me

asfmhasnfjkansfgas are you ok auntie???

bouquet-of-scissors replied to your photoset “Shimmer: Hey, bro! What happened to your beard? Sparkle: I love it!...”

#flowerbeardforever <3

sadly not forever (it’s glitching on some work outfits so I didn’t keep it for too long) but it will certainly be back!

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “T: Good to see you in one piece, papa! A: Hah, yeah. I’m glad too....”

theyre so cute i die

add protective!trellis to anything to make it 10 times cuter also add stupid shiny ex president to anything to make it 50 times cuter add both to get a cutesplosion

sugarsimms replied to your photoset “It’s been too long.”

<3 <3

i knOWWWW MY FAVE ;_;

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “HAPPY TWO MONTHS SNOWDRIFTICUSVERSARY!!! I thought as a celebration...”

also dang snowdrift i too want a boyfriend face shirt

step 1: get a boyfriend with a good face

step 2: get an awesome friend with skills to surprise you with a shirt on your birthday so hard that you forget how to breathe

i hope this guide was helpful!!!

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “HAPPY TWO MONTHS SNOWDRIFTICUSVERSARY!!! I thought as a celebration...”

i know im a filthy but are u sure its not that????? not a lil bit of.......... ne ck....... st uff???

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!! I REPEAT, THIS IS NOT A DRILL! FLAMEUS IS...”

!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :oo

;) !!!!!

monets-pixels replied to your photoset “G: I know you’ve been working a lot of overtime to fix up the...”

Why do I have a bad feeling about this..... You wouldn't do anything to them, would you?

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “G: I know you’ve been working a lot of overtime to fix up the...”

djsdhfdsfdhfdhsdfsfdhdfs WHATS GOING ON LAZURITE WHAT AR E U DOING

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “S: Hey buddy! Feeling better today? G: Uh, sure! What…happened to your...”

:o never trust an offer by a lazurite

guys i pROMISE THERE IS NO NEED TO WORRY ;_; these two will be safe i just wanted them out of the house (rude i know) and i thought why not make another dream come true for my soft flower boy?

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “?: Heeeeeeeeeeeeeey boss, since when are you so hot? S: It seems the...”

ew leave my son alone pls

i know i know theyre all crazy for him its terrible

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “A flowery scientist is on the loose! (and special thanks to...”

im SO IN LOVE IM CRYING THIS SOFT BOY

sAME

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “Shine: Hey, I know you kinda hate me and the feeling is mutual, but my...”

ur gotdang right and im also crying kill him shine

im sorry but thats not happening thats not the murder plot

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “Shine: Hey, I know you kinda hate me and the feeling is mutual, but my...”

(U CAN FALL IN LOVE WIT UR NEMESIS)

(I SURE LOV TO PUT BRACKETED HINTS IN TAGS)

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “C: Good, thank you. T: How good exactly? You WERE out, after all, and...”

yeeeeeees IM SO READY FOR THIS IVE BEEN WAITING FOR FLOWERBEARD SHINE

GHNVAFJAHBSJKAHBSGJAHBSGJAHSASD I HOPE ITS ENOUGH MAN

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “T: Can you believe that? As if it was my fault they can’t afford good...”

i cant believe the amount of savagery in this family....... i lov them so much

me too man...idk where it came from but now that its there i lov it and wish id gone full murder plot just to explore the full extent of savagery

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “Charlotte: Alright, Connie. Thank you for this afternoon, I had a...”

me too man me too

;)

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “Charlotte: Hey, look! This cloud looks like a cowplant! Conifer: Ohhhh...”

SOFSDFJFD in portugal we say "só precisas de amor e uma cabana" which is more or less all u need is love and a cabin so are they gonna bangaroni there??

ok bUT HOW IS YOUR LANGUAGE SO GR8????? this is som wisdom i wholeheartedly agree with

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “Charlotte: That must be tough. I can’t judge, I have no...”

chARLOTTES HONESTY IM CRYING THIS IS SO GOOD

THANK U THANK U THANK U

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “Conifer: Anyway, now that you’ve gotten past the big reveal, I feel...”

makes sense shed b a nurse bc everytime i see charlotte im like hELLO NURSE

<.<

tbh all i can think of lately when i hear the word nurse is that one boss art video and it aint so pleasant

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset

charlottes :o face......... it totally gives me lyfe

did u mean: any charlotte face

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “Charlotte: Ahhhhhhh there is nothing quite like a sunny afternoon...”

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAA SO CUUUTE

I KNOW

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “San Maraschino Meadows Tuesday, 2.56 pm”

charlotte is scoping dat ass *eye emoji*

dO SHE GOT DA BOOTY?

twinsimskeletons replied to your photoset “HAPPY TWO MONTHS SNOWDRIFTICUSVERSARY!!! I thought as a celebration...”

bat...fucking?

(please don’t freak out it doesn’t happen but yes this is a line this exists)

twinsimskeletons replied to your post “.”

why were you determined never to listen to them again??

I’m crying it was so dumb and I’m still really ashamed I don’t know Jan2017!Annie who is she

amixofpixels replied to your photoset “HAPPY TWO MONTHS SNOWDRIFTICUSVERSARY!!! I thought as a celebration...”

Kinky shit, the best thing in the list by far. XD

really?

monets-pixels replied to your photoset “HAPPY TWO MONTHS SNOWDRIFTICUSVERSARY!!! I thought as a celebration...” 

Cuties 

yes. yes yeS YES YES

simphonics replied to your photoset “A flowery scientist is on the loose! (and special thanks to...”

Ahhh what a cutie pie! 😍

it works so well ♥

bouquet-of-scissors replied to your photoset “Shine: Hey, I know you kinda hate me and the feeling is mutual, but my...”

It's poisoned

I will forever be known as that one simblr who keeps dragging Salim, won’t I? XD

amixofpixels replied to your photoset “S: Okay this is getting creepy…he won’t leave me alone.”

It's the beard, Shine, it's the beard.

certainly.

amixofpixels replied to your photoset “A flowery scientist is on the loose! (and special thanks to...”

Look at that little flower crown beard. It does confuse me on how it's staying up. Sims logic.

same, but I just REALLY had to use it it’s the most Shine beard I’ve ever seen

bouquet-of-scissors replied to your photoset “T: Can you believe that? As if it was my fault they can’t afford good...”

"Want me to freeze them?" ily shine xD

same

monets-pixels replied to your photoset  “Charlotte: Alright, Connie. Thank you for this afternoon, I had a...”

Taking a mini gaycation

I like that word :o tho depending on who you’d ask they would be more likely to either call it a pancation or a nothingwilleverhappenimsafecation

monets-pixels replied to your photoset “C: Good, thank you. T: How good exactly? You WERE out, after all, and...”

I'm ready

we are all ready ;) just my queue isn’t

monets-pixels replied to your photoset “T: Can you believe that? As if it was my fault they can’t afford good...”

Yes Connie how was your gay- I mean day

monets-pixels replied to your photoset

My babe ❤❤❤

♥

amixofpixels replied to your post “Flirtyplies & Seriousplies & Other”

Third, I was worried my booty comment was too inappropriate, so I'm glad you liked it.

I will always like inappropriate comments if they’re not hurtful ;)

amixofpixels replied to your post “Flirtyplies & Seriousplies & Other”

Second, which comment you say? The never listening to FOB contemplation. how dare...

is it bad that I had no idea YOU listened to them? :o

amixofpixels replied to your post  “Flirtyplies & Seriousplies & Other”

There are a few things I would like to say, first, there is no anger, but as stated I will not apologize for the spam.

you call this a spam? friend please we were both here for Robins gen 1 and know what really deserves to be called a spam