#cannot express how much i wish i didn’t have to use it for FTS | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

taelme · 4 years ago

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Enemies-to-lovers!Changbin

request: Hiiiii I read you bangchan enemies to lovers au and I swear if I could like a post more than once I'd like that one a MILLION TIMES I'm wondering if maybe you could write an enemies to lovers au for changbin pretty please? 🥺🥰 genre: enemies-to-lovers!au (again, not Super extreme, low-key clash bc they’re both stubborn), film club president!Changbin, childhood penpal!au (fluff, very mild angst, they bicker a lot, kind of cheesy bc changbin’s a sap and we know that) pairing/s: Changbin / Reader (ft some skz members) word count: 17k+ tw: mild coarse language (they say shit a lot LOL) a/n: THE ANON WHO REQUESTED THIS...IM PRETTY SURE you waited months for this so thank you for being so so so patient!! I decided to try something a little different from my usual style but idk if it’s That Obvious, but its more structure wise I guess, but nonetheless, I'll be getting a little busier soon so I’m not sure If I'll be able to put out Full one shots for the next few months but I'll try my best w those little shorter ones maybe! (I'll have to see how Tired I am) also p.s I love this gif thank u to whoever made it but changbin is blonde in this fic bc of Personal Reasons

To: my penpal Y/N

How are you?

I had a good day today. Sorry if the paper is crunchy I am writing this on my bed because my mom thinks I am already asleep. Today I went out with my mom and we went to the park and ate some sandwiches at the park. We had a picnic but with no juice because my sister finished everything. And then we went to the toy shop after lunch. I saw a keychain of a camera and bought it for you because you like acting and cameras can take a video of you acting.

This is a picture of me next to the wishing well at the park, you cannot see it but i’m making a peace sign. I threw a coin in the well and made a wish that your audition will be good. I know you will do very well because you practiced a lot for it. That’s all. I’m a bit tired now. Goodnight, or good morning if you are reading this in the morning. Or afternoon.

I hope i’ll be hearing from you soon, Binnie.

“So, do you wanna keep them? If not I can chuck them together with the rest of your old things,” your mom began, already reaching over to take the letter from you.

Your eyes widened just as quickly, shaking your head quickly as you gripped the envelope and its contents behind your back away from her reach.

“No, no. Don’t throw them away,” you said sternly, softening your gaze when you noticed the way her eyebrows had raised in amusement, embarrassment washing over your features.

“I’ll keep them. Gimme the box.”

Your mom set the beaten looking converse shoebox down onto the table, shaking her head at you as a small chuckle escaped her. Mental note to transfer the letters to a smaller (and more durable) box.

“Alright, alright,” she waved her hands at you in dismissal, “hurry up or you’ll be late for school.”

She shut the door behind her with a light thud, leaving you to stare at the grainy polaroid your childhood penpal had sent you when you both were only eight and still exchanging letters every week.

Inhaling deeply, you shoved the polaroid picture back into the envelope, slipping it into the box of envelopes before getting up. You figured that was a box you wouldn’t have the time to delve into when you were already keeping Jisung waiting.

Driving as fast as you could (or as fast as you dared to) within the speed limit, you’d reached your campus soon enough. It wasn’t that long of a drive and it would be even shorter (walking distance to be specific), when you move into your apartment nearer to campus in a few days. But that didn’t change the fact that you were running late now, spotting Jisung standing by the fountain with a sour look on his face that had only deepened once he’d spotted you.

Before an utterance of apology could leave you, Jisung had pursed his lips, stretching out his hand that held your cup of drink, a small hint of a smile playing at his lips.

“I’m starting to wonder which one of us has worse time management,” he sighed deeply, shaking his head with feigned disappointment as he glanced at his nonexistent watch on his wrist.

Jisung was one to talk, for sure. His crumpled looking shirt over baggy cargo pants and a hat to cover his head of messy hair told you his journey to school wasn’t exactly ‘leisurely’ either.

You rolled your eyes, taking a sip of your drink and sighing at the taste, “it’s definitely you. I was only late today ‘cause my mom was showing me my old stuff she found in the storeroom.”

Jisung waved you off, “fine, whatever,” he fished his phone out of his pocket as you started walking towards the auditorium for a class you were both dreading.

“Oh, shit, Hyunjin says the professor’s already in class, we should hurry up.”

Quickening your pace, you were glad to have reached before your professor had started, Jisung directing you towards where Hyunjin was seated at the side of the auditorium, giving him a small nod as you sat down.

Not that Hyunjin noticed anyway, the said boy busy with messaging someone on his phone with a frown on his face.

“What are you doing?”

Jisung peered over Hyunjin’s shoulder, frankly not wanting to focus on the lesson as the professor played a video on boring business things he figured he could just ask you for later.

Hyunjin sighed, setting his phone down onto the table and pushing his laptop open further, going to his email with quick clicks on his trackpad, “gotta send the scene for the auditions later to Changbin.”

“Oh, for that film thing?” Jisung asked, earning a nod from Hyunjin, whose eyebrows furrowed as they remembered your presence.

“Y/N should audition,” Hyunjin nodded his head towards you, his mention of your name distracting you momentarily, but you’d brushed it off quickly as you tried to take down whatever your professor was rambling on about.

At your lack of response, Jisung nudged your shoulder with more force, “hey, did you hear what Hyunjin said?”

You tore your gaze reluctantly from your professor as your fingers finished typing whatever you had left in your memory, the confused look on your face prompting Hyunjin to take over.

“We’re having auditions later for the movie the film club’s gonna be making,” he started, nodding slowly as his eyebrows raised, “I was saying you should join, you’d be good for the role.”

You narrowed your eyes at Hyunjin, “what’s it about?”

Jisung huffed, “some cheesy penpal shit, the last I heard.”

Your quirked an eyebrow at that, Hyunjin rolling his eyes.

“Something like that, but it’s not super romantic. They’re childhood penpals who meet again in the future but they don’t end up together, I don’t know how to explain it to you as well as Changbin can, but will you come anyway?”

You scrunch your nose as you consider his offer.

Was there anything you needed to prepare? You didn’t even know exactly what you were signing up for. Or much less anyone in the film club. Well, other than Hyunjin, of course.

“Is there any script I'm supposed to prepare with?” you asked, making Hyunjin’s eyebrows raise, his lips parting in realisation.

“I’m pretty sure it depends on what role you want…” he trailed off, making you scoff.

Not being able to help the laugh from escaping you, you narrowed your eyes at him, “you sound like you’re not even in the club.”

Hyunjin flashed you a sweet smile, “you know what? I’ll just send you what I sent Changbin. You can just prepare with that! Penny’s role!”

Jisung snorted, his hand coming up in a poor attempt to stifle his giggles.

“Penny? Is it because...she’s a pen pal?”

You pressed your lips into a firm line, finding it awfully amusing as well.

Hyunjin frowned, scrunching his nose up in distaste, “we couldn’t think of anything better, okay?”

You huffed, lower lip jutting out in a small pensive pout. You didn’t have much going on in terms of school productions as of now, anyway, you guessed there would be no harm in showing some support for Hyunjin.

“What time are the auditions?”

“They start from lunchtime until like five,” Hyunjin tried his best to recall, looking at you with his best pleading gaze.

Sighing again, you nodded, “this is my only class for today.”

Hyunjin was practically beaming now.

“Perfect.”

===

“I don’t like it.”

Hyunjin sputtered over his sip of coffee, an incredulous expression on his face, attracting looks from the other film club members in the dance studio. Excusing himself, he’d made his way outside, oblivious to the squeals and stares the girls waiting to audition were directing towards him, settling himself in the middle of the field outside the dance studio.

“What do you mean, ‘you don’t like it’?” he asked you again, his eyebrows furrowed as curiosity took over him.

You sighed, rolling your shoulders back as you nodded at one of your teachers you were walking past, your grip relaxing on your phone as your arm had started to get tired.

“I mean, I read through the script, and something about Penny’s character just doesn’t sit right with me,” you told him, “it just… doesn’t make sense for her to come to that conclusion when she’d been having a perfectly good time with the guy before that, you know?”

Pausing, you’d waited for him to respond, his silence prompting you to continue with your elaboration.

“Okay, I’ll put it this way,” you started, adjusting your grip on your laptop in your arm, “If I were a reader, or like, a viewer in this case, I would wanna be able to pick up on these small moments or signs that Penny is actually thinking about her relationship, do you know what I mean? Because now the way it looks is that she’s just a plot device meant to hurt him, and that there’s no exploration of the development of their relationship at all.”

Hyunjin let out a deep sigh, “Okay, I know, I know, but the thing is… this was Changbin’s idea, and I don’t know if you’ve heard—I mean, you probably have, but… nobody really questions him.”

You hummed, following Hyunjin into the school building and tugging your coat tighter around yourself, the cold air in the building shocking you as you entered.

“Yeah, I get that, but you’re forgetting that I don’t have the same relationship with this Changbin guy that you guys do. I don’t mind telling him that I have a problem with it. I don’t wanna be acting out some two-dimensional love interest character if I can help it.”

Hyunjin grimaced, not seeming to be too keen on your insistence, “I really think it might be a little late for him to change the script.”

“It’s never too late.”

“Well to Changbin it could be!” Hyunjin insisted, making you roll your eyes, a small chuckle leaving you.

You huffed, “I still think the audience deserves a better film with better crafted characters.”

Hyunjin let out a sound in between a sigh and a groan, “Okay fine, you just have to make sure you get the role, and then you’re free to argue with Changbin all you want. Deal?”

“Deal,” You turned the corner and spotted Hyunjin standing in the middle of the field, already making his way back to the dance studio.

“Okay,” he spoke before you could end the call, “I gotta go, see you later.”

You didn’t expect there to be so many people at the auditions, mostly girls and just a handful of guys. Though you seemed to piece the uneven ratio together when you saw the not-so-furtive stares the girls would cast in Hyunjin’s direction whenever he’d peek his head out from the crack in the door to call the next person in.

You recognized one of the guys who’d come in later than you, one of Jisung’s upperclassmen friends whose name was Minho.

“Didn’t think i’d see you here,” he gave you a small smile as he took a seat next to you.

Shrugging in response, you let out an awkward huff of laughter, not used to talking to him about anything other than his cats and Jisung’s whereabouts.

“Yeah… well, Hyunjin asked me to come, so I figured I might as well,” you fiddled with the slip of paper with the scene printed on it, “not like I had anything better to do, anyway.”

Minho nodded slowly, leaning closer to you and dropping his voice to a murmur, “I’ve never seen any of these girls before.”

You huffed, “I’m pretty sure most of them are here for Hyunjin.”

“Oh yeah, makes sense,” Minho hummed, a small lilt of amusement to his tone, “where is he, anyway? He told me he would be here—”

Minho’s question was answered when the girls beside the both of you had erupted into harsh whispers and murmurs, tapping each other excitedly as Hyunjin could be seen through the window panel in the door, looking on seriously as one of the girls inside the room was auditioning.

You huffed, gesturing to the window.

“Found him.”

Inside the room, Changbin was distracted.

He knew he had a certain image in his head about what he wanted ‘Penny’ to be. But whatever the girls that had auditioned so far had been showing, that dramatic ‘i never loved you!’ emotion, that wasn’t exactly it. And it didn’t help either that they struggled letting go of the dramatics when Chan would prompt them to try a different angle.

Hyunjin cast a (mildly concerned) look at Changbin, trying to gauge his expression, figuring the pointed look Changbin had sent his way was enough to say he didn’t think this girl would be shortlisted.

“Who’s next?” Chan leaned over in his seat to peek at the clipboard of names of signups, Changbin leaning back in his seat and pushing the clipboard towards him, not finding it in him to be able to be more hopeful about the next person.

“Oh, Y/N,” Chan hummed, nodding with an impressed expression on his face, the name catching Changbin’s attention, “that’s cool, didn’t think they’d audition.”

“Y/N?” Changbin echoed, something about the name awfully familiar to him, yet not being able to make the connection in his memories yet.

So for now, he’d simply gestured to Hyunjin to signal that he could send the next girl in, Chan sweetly thanking the girl that had just auditioned as she left the room.

Making your way into the room, you scanned the ‘panel’ of judges.

You recognized Chan, the said pale-faced boy looking even more tired when he’d yawned as you made your way to the centre of the room. He came to your school productions often since he and Felix were friends, and Felix was always involved in some way or another. The other boy, though, you didn’t think you’d seen before.

The two of them seemed to exude completely different auras, with Chan smiling warmly at you and gesturing for you to come closer while the other boy sat with his arms folded across his chest, frowning at you as though you were a code to decipher.

“Hey, didn’t expect to see you here,” Chan broke the silence first, giggling.

You shook your head, “honestly didn’t think i’d sign-up either.”

You pressed your lips together in a tight-lipped smile, rocking back on your heels as you glanced at the boy next to him again, “I actually only heard about it from Hyunjin this morning,” you admitted, Hyunjin flashing Chan a grin from behind you as if to say ‘you’re welcome’.

Changbin cleared his throat, making Chan perk up.

“Right, sorry. So, we’ve obviously met but this is our club’s president Changbin,” he gestured to the boy sitting next to him.

Changbin nodded curtly, bringing his hand up to run it through his bleached hair and shoving his cap back on his head with habitual movements.

Now you were starting to understand why Hyunjin was so intimidated by Changbin, always having heard stories about him but only now being able to put a face to the name.

Nodding slowly, you gave him a smile, “nice to meet you, I’m Y/N.”

Changbin had to stop himself from faltering, his breath hitching when he realised why your name was so familiar.

After all, it had been the first candidate before they’d decided to go with ‘penny’. He wondered how cruel fate was to have brought you, someone with the same name as the person he’d practically based this story on, to be auditioning for the very role.

You tried not to be offended by the way Changbin had simply nodded at you, straightening up in his seat, “and you’ll be auditioning for the role of…?”

Would it hurt him to smile?

You inhaled deeply, trying to hide your amusement as you answered him, “Penny.”

Changbin nodded, Chan humming as he looked up from his copy of the script to give you another reassuring smile.

“Alright, whenever you’re ready. I’ll be taking the lines of the male lead,” Chan told you.

You understood that the scene was some sort of scene where the two romantic leads have some sort of confrontation, and you did your best to get into what you imagined Penny would be feeling, Chan reading the line asking if ‘penny’ had even loved him at all. Dramatic was the word to describe it, really.

You softened your gaze, unintentionally letting it rest on Changbin but deciding to let it stay there, executing your lines all the while trying to ignore the way Changbin’s stare was unnerving you, making you want to prove to him that you were a good actor even though he hadn’t questioned your acting skills.

Hyunjin had been watching the exchange closely, Changbin’s grip on his pencil loosening as he’d let the pencil fall softly against the table.

Changbin wondered if it was some sort of coincidence, because whatever ‘it’ was that he’d been looking for in Penny’s character, you’d managed to convey almost perfectly.

And it was clear that Chan had felt the same way as well, since once your audition was over, the smile on Chan’s face was nothing but beaming.

Once you’d left the room, Hyunjin telling you that they would contact you by the next morning, Chan had turned to Changbin, the same stupid smile on his face.

“That was great!” he nudged Changbin, the younger boy still recovering from the shock of the coincidence of it all, managing to muster a small huff in response.

“Yeah,” Changbin reached over to grab his water bottle, prolonging his silence as he took a long sip, “I don’t think we’d even need to see the rest.”

Chris scrunched his nose up, grinning, “but you know we still will, of course. Just in case.”

Changbin sighed, glancing at the clock, agreeing with Chan even though he knew he’d already had his mind made up.

“Yeah, just in case,” Changbin mumbled, looking out the window and seeing you talk to Minho, tearing his gaze away and rolling his shoulders back.

“Okay, send the next one in.”

===

To: Binnie

How are you?

I’m okay. I like the picture you sent me of you using your scooter. My mom says you look nice. I think so too.

Today I went to the museum and I ate an ice cream for lunch. I don’t have a picture of it but it was a Strawberry ice cream.

I just finished reading your letter. Sorry to say it using a bad word, but i think what your sister did was stupid. I think you should still tell her to ask for permission to use your scooter. But if she still does not listen, maybe you should tell her again. Because my mom always tells me that if I want something, I have to ask for it. So you should do that. Maybe she does not know you don’t like it when she plays with your scooter. Or, you could buy a new scooter. Here is some money so you can buy a scooter. I drew you $50 because that is a lot of money. I hope you have a good day when you read this.

Till next time, Your penpal Y/N.

You weren’t the world’s kindest human alive, you had your petty moments. I mean, there were so many songs and literature and movies that highlighted that idea that no human was perfect, right? But you tried your best, surely.

So, you’d gladly complied when Hyunjin asked you to grab extra cups of coffee for Chan and Changbin (as reluctant as you were. You were strapped for cash as it was).

You figured that was the least you could do before the trouble you were about to cause the both of them. But hopefully, if office etiquette was anything to go by, the simple gesture would show that you were kind, and someone who appreciated the offer given to you, as much as you hated the superficiality of your character.

However, when you showed up at the room, you were reminded that Changbin wasn’t just anyone. And while Chan made his appreciation known, Changbin… was the same as ever. Intimidating, and very hard to read. The sight of it almost made you want to take back his coffee.

He wasn’t wearing a hat today. Instead, he’d let his blonde hair (which looked darker since the last time you saw him, or maybe it was just his dyed-black undercut) fall messily over his forehead in a slight side part.

His black shirt did nothing to hide his physique, every movement of his coming across as a subtle flex, making you have to remind yourself time and time again that you weren’t exactly here to fawn over him.

He would lean back in his seat, scrolling through whatever he was looking at in his phone with one hand, his other hand draped over his stomach and propped underneath his elbow to support it. The way he would look made it seem as if he was almost oblivious to the world around him, only paying attention to what was on his phone until he would laugh at something Chan said, Chan being the only person you’ve seen that managed to elicit seemingly uncharacteristic giggles from him.

Though it wasn’t as if you were given much time to get used to it. The moment Chan had murmured something in his ear, his expression had switched back to ‘strictly business’.

Chan straightened up, looking around the room with his eyebrows slightly raised in question, one hand adjusting the braided leather bracelet around his wrist

“So, shall we get started then?” Chan asked, gesturing to Changbin before typing away at his laptop.

Changbin took his cue, getting up from his seat and making his way around the table to the front of the room, pulling the overhanging screen up to reveal the whiteboard.

“So, first of all, we’ve finalised the actors playing the characters,” he gestured towards you and Minho, “Minho as Soobin and Y/N as Penny. So, we can start shooting about next week. I would say we’re working with a pretty loose deadline because we don’t have to submit it until a few months from now.”

Changbin rolled his shoulders back, his body language seeming fairly relaxed although his expression remained serious nonetheless, “but that doesn’t mean we should slack, obviously.”

His statement elicited a small groan from Hyunjin, who muttered a ‘figures�� under his breath, making you stifle your giggles for Changbin’s sake.

“But we will start with maybe going over the script once through, go over the technical stuff after we get any issues with the flow out of the way.”

He looked as though he were going through a mental list of things to cover, his gaze flickering momentarily to Hyunjin, as if his face would give him answers to the invisible question in his head.

“The people in charge of the props, have you started preparing the letters?” Chan stepped in, earning a shake of the head from the two girls sitting next to Hyunjin, making Changbin wave a hand dismissively in their direction.

“They could start on that after we confirm the script,” Changbin leaned over the table to grab his cup of coffee, proceeding to take a long sip from it.

“Alright, let’s start then.”

Changbin took the empty seat he was standing next to, pulling his laptop closer to him to pull up the script.

Throughout the reading, you tried to keep your comments to yourself, you really did. It just fascinated you how fearful the team was of Changbin (well, aside from Chan), the way everyone seemed to bite their tongues or withhold their comments caused a permanent frown to be etched on your face.

It didn’t make it any better that Minho seemed to have no problems with the script, not even when you’d occasionally leant over to whisper to him and ask if he found that part a little weird or a little abrupt. But you held your tongue for now, (and also because of the side glance Hyunjin would cast your way whenever you would let out a small sigh), you wanted to give Changbin the benefit of the doubt, figuring maybe if he read through his script again he’d realise how one-sided it was.

But thankfully, when you were reading out the lines where the two main characters had ended their date, and on a particularly high note for that matter, it seemed the opportunity to voice your concerns about the script was presented to you when Changbin had spoken up.

“Okay, since the next scene onwards will be where their relationship breaks down, any questions so far?” He asked, though his tone didn’t sound like he was really asking for feedback. But, hey, an opportunity as an opportunity, wasn’t it?

You cleared your throat a little too harshly, raising up your hand as you leaned against the table to be seen better, “uh, actually, me? I mean, I have some feedback actually.”

Changbin looked at you curiously, his gaze landing on you with slight surprise, as if he hadn’t expected it to be you of all people. There was a slight hesitancy evident in the way he paused before giving you a short nod, prompting you to go ahead.

You smiled, ignoring the way Hyunjin had sighed deeply a few seats away from you, dreading the chaos that could have come with people like you and Changbin bumping heads.

“Well, it’s not really specific to this scene. It’s kind of about the whole flow of the plot in general…” you fiddled with the corner of the page you were on, “but I was thinking it would be better to show more of Penny’s point of view? You know, because when I was reading it it just felt a little… weird for them to suddenly break up if everything seemed to be going fine.”

Changbin narrowed his eyes at you, looking back down at his computer with a simple dismissive shake of the head, “That’s not necessary, they’re going to break up anyway.”

The room had fallen silent, everybody seeming to have taken that as a ‘end of the conversation’ kind of line, already beginning to bring their attention to the next scene.

You frowned, unable to control your expression as you made your dismay obvious, casting a desperate look to Hyunjin who honestly looked as though he would pay you not to pursue this.

“But that’s not the point,” you spoke, getting Chan’s attention as he looked at you, silently urging you to continue, “you wanted to show their relationship, right? So, shouldn’t you show… both their parts in the relationship? Since it’s not like this is told in Soobin’s point of view.”

Changbin pursed his lips, “the point is,” he brought his cup of coffee to his lips, taking a small sip before continuing, “their relationship was superficial so it doesn’t matter.”

You mirrored his expression. The way it sounded was that he was just trying to convince himself that it didn’t matter.

Your frown deepened, quick to respond to him.

“That’s the thing, if you’re so insistent on them breaking up, why don’t you just make their relationship lead up to that? The way they’re interacting up to this scene makes viewers think they’re just going to end up together,” you tried to reason, hoping Changbin would understand where you were coming from.

Minho took that opportunity to excuse himself to the bathroom, and as you gave the rest of the film club members a once-over, you hated the way they were all looking at you as if you were cussing Changbin out instead of just giving him constructive feedback, or just voicing your thoughts for that matter.

“Well, not everyone gets a happy ending, I guess.”

He was practically avoiding your message at this point, making you grow more frustrated.

“Okay, look, what’s your intention behind making this film?” you asked, watching carefully as Changbin huffed, looking fairly amused at your insistence, which only served to irk you more.

“Simple,” he shrugged, “to show people like you that not everything that seems so perfect ends up perfect in the end.”

Your lips parted, scoffing, resisting the urge to get up from your seat as you heard Minho re-enter the room.

“People like me?” you echoed spitefully, “okay, fine, whatever. But as you said, if that’s the point of your discourse, shouldn’t your message be to tell people that they can work through things like this instead of just giving up and leaving like Penny did?”

Changbin was annoyed now. To him, you seemed too idealistic to understand his reasoning behind the story. He wondered why it had to be you that was telling him this, you were the only one that was trying to find problems with his story, that he’d based on his own life for that matter.

“Well what if she did, huh? What if Penny did just up and leave with no warning?”

You rolled your eyes, hearing Chan struggle to stifle his laugh, your exchange with Changbin being just about the most excitement he had in the whole school year.

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes, “which is why I'm saying that your job as a storyteller is to shed some light on the reason behind that. Then your story wouldn’t be about showing how things don’t turn out the way they seem, it would just be telling you, but not showing you. You could just ask literally anybody to hurt Minho—”

“Soobin,” you heard Minho correct from beside you, making you huff, scrunching your eyes shut tightly before opening them harshly.

“—Yes, Soobin’s character, and it would be the same? The story wouldn’t show me anything other than the fact that it was Soobin’s fault he ended up that way. He didn’t question anything that happened, he just let it happen to him,” you sighed again, clenching your jaw, “Penny isn’t anything other than some 2-dimensional plot device designed as an excuse for Soobin to sulk about how cruel love is.”

Changbin scrunched his nose up, his brows knitting in annoyance as he stared at you, a silence falling again in the room. Changbin was about to interject when Chan had decided that would be a good time to step in.

“C’mon guys, let’s… calm down a little. We’re talking about penpals here, not the king’s lover betraying him.”

You cast Chan a questioning look at his example, making him shrug, continuing, “we’re running a little overtime anyway, we can just continue discussing this another time.”

Just like that, the rest of the film club members seemed eager to leave, either rushing for their next class or just not wanting to be in the same environment as an irritable Changbin.

Chan directed his gaze towards you as you were getting up from your seat, slinging your bag over your shoulder.

“I’m sure Changbin will keep your points in mind, don’t worry,” he reassured you just as Changbin chimed in with a ‘no, I won’t’ behind him, leaving the room promptly afterwards, leaving you free to let out the frustrated groan you had been withholding.

“Thanks, Chan. Sorry I kind of made you guys overrun your time,” you sighed, watching Hyunjin making his way to you with wide eyes.

Chan shook his head, holding his laptop securely in one arm as he let out a burst of giggles.

“No, don’t apologize! I should be thanking you, I didn’t think about your point until you mentioned it just now,” he murmured, “but again, sorry about Changbin. He’s just a little… protective of his work.”

Hyunjin let out a low whistle from next to you, “Extremely.”

You nodded, shrugging, “It’s alright, I get it.”

Chan flashed you a smile, his hand reaching out to give your shoulder a reassuring squeeze, “Thanks, again. See you around.”

Leaving the room with Hyunjin, you ignored the way he’d begun to chuckle to himself, “honestly, in this whole time i’ve been in the film club, i’ve never seen Changbin actually… argue with someone.”

You rolled your eyes, kicking at the stray pebble “well if he continues like this, you’re gonna be seeing a lot more of it.”

“You sure seemed like you were having fun, though, weren’t you?” Hyunjin was being sarcastic, knowing he was just doing this to dissuade you, his tone eliciting a scoff from you.

You shook your head.

“You know for a fact I wasn’t. But it wouldn’t sit right with me if I just kept my mouth shut like you and the rest of your film club goons,” you shot him a pointed glare.

Hyunjin pressed his lips into a firm line, holding his hands up beside his head in surrender, prompting you to continue.

“If I want something done, I’m gonna ask for it. It’s as simple as that.”

===

To: my penpal Y/N

How are you?

Was your audition good? Thank you for the money. But $50 is a lot of money so I don’t think I should spend everything, my mom says I need to save money. Thank you for telling me what I should do, but in the end I didn’t buy another scooter. I did this because we were learning about needs vs wants in school and I think the scooter is a want. My teacher says this means I don’t really need it. But needs are things like colour pencils and pens and paper so I can write letters to send you. Maybe your mom tells you you cannot buy so many stickers because the stickers are a want and not a need.

Anyway, I think I can just let my sister take my scooter. Maybe I will just get another scooter for myself when I am older and I have more money.

I hope I will be hearing from you soon, Binnie.

As you said before, you weren’t perfect, but you surely did your best. But days like this you wondered if people like Changbin even tried.

After your interaction with said stubborn being during your meeting with the film club had put you in a bad mood, you were currently seated with Jisung in a booth at a popular burger outlet outside school, thankfully having managed to get a place in the midst of the anxious afternoon crowd. And even more thankful that you could eat your lunch in peace where you were very much away from Changbin.

“What did you say to him, again?” Jisung hadn’t bothered trying to hold in his laughter as he was almost shouting over the noise of the crowd, making you huff as you bit into your burger.

“I said it’s funny that he was talking so much shit about the main couple when he’s dedicating his entire movie to them,” you drawled, your annoyance returning as you recounted the spat you had with him during the small meeting you had with the film club just before lunch.

Jisung’s shoulders shook as he laughed, fumbling with his drink as his eyes shut tightly, giggles leaving him and seeming as though they would never end, “and that’s what you said word for word?”

You nodded, reaching over to press the lid of Jisung’s drink down firmer before he could spill it all over himself.

“I know you’re friends with him but I really don’t know how you work with this guy, he’s as stubborn as stubborn goes,” you huffed, taking another bite into your burger as Jisung’s laughter had died down, though his smile had only lingered.

“You’re worse,” he snickered, earning a glare from you.

Jisung remained unaffected, “Look, he’s honestly fine once you get to know him,” he tried to reason, sounding as though he were trying to convince a child to make friends, “I mean, we’re all still kind of wary around him when he’s in a mood but honestly, if not for the way you guys met, I’m pretty sure you two would get along well. He seems like he’s your type.”

Your eyes widened, scandalised at Jisung’s implication.

“The only thing he has in common with my exes is being annoying, okay?” you rushed to push away the curiosity of what Changbin would be like as a boyfriend. Curse Jisung and his stupid implication.

“And plus,” you continued, hearing the doorbell chime for what sounded like the thousandth time to signal yet another entry into the diner that was now overflowing with people asking for take-out, “it’s not like he’s been very nice to me since I got involved with his stupid short film.”

Jisung sighed, his gaze momentarily distracted by something behind you, making you wave your hand in front of his face to keep his attention. He’d glanced back at you, an almost dazed look in his eyes before he’d given you a small smile, taking a bite out of his burger and not waiting to finish chewing before he answered you.

“I honestly think that he just needs a little more persuasion. Like, take this for example, something similar happened with him and Chan when they were composing something in the past, and trust me, if you don’t give up now, i’m pretty sure he’d agree to come to a compromise or something,” he gave you a shrug, his gaze returning to whatever was behind you (probably someone cute, you figured). You couldn’t say you blamed him; almost all your conversations revolved around you and Changbin’s squabbles these days.

You pursed your lips, narrowing your eyes at him, “you really think he’d be willing to rewrite his script?”

Your tone was skeptical, already imagining how Changbin would simply tell you to keep dreaming if you’d brought up the proposal to him.

At Jisung’s lack of response, you’d frowned slightly, seeing him turn back to you calmly as his smile widened, giving you yet another shrug.

“Maybe you can ask him yourself.”

If there was any feeling one would get just before something bad was about to happen, that was definitely what you were feeling now.

You didn’t dare to tear your gaze away from Jisung as you watched him turn his body, his hand coming up in a wave that had only turned into a hi-five, his behaviour only adequately described as boisterous as he welcomed the people you were hoping you wouldn’t have to see for another week until the next film club meeting.

Well, Chan was fine, you were simply referring to Changbin.

“Oh, hey, Y/N! Didn’t know you and Jisung were friends,” Chan gave you a sweet smile, gesturing between you and Jisung as he spoke.

Jisung chimed in with a nonchalant “Best friends, actually,” which had only made you shoot him a glare.

“Might have to re-evaluate that,” you muttered, turning back to Chan and Changbin to give them as warm a smile as you could muster.

“Are you guys eating here too?” you asked.

You were oblivious to the way Changbin’s gaze flickered from your face to the food in your hand, and then back to Jisung, looking perfectly unaffected as he joked with Jisung about something you didn’t quite catch.

“Well, we wanted to, but, you know, with the crowd and all we probably won’t be able to get a seat,” Chan’s gaze was pitiful, to say the least, making Jisung raise his eyebrows, and that sinking feeling within you had only intensified as his next sentence left his lips.

Jisung had barely glanced at you as he held onto Changbin’s hand.

“Well, our booth’s actually meant to seat four people, so you guys could squeeze in if you want,” he offered.

Changbin quirked his eyebrow, skepticism written all over his features, though mostly directed towards you, “you guys really won’t mind?”

You glared at your burger, scrunching your nose up as you avoided Changbin’s pointed gaze.

Jisung scoffed, giving Changbin a loud smack on the arm, “of course we won’t, right Y/N?”

He turned to you, giving you a smile you could only describe to be devious (and fairly amused).

“Yeah,” your voice took a pitch higher unintentionally, “go ahead,” you murmured, scooting into the booth to make space for them.

You took another bite from your burger, watching out of the corner of your eye as Changbin took a seat next to Jisung, Chan excusing himself to retrieve both their orders.

“Funny that you showed up, actually. Y/N and I were just talking about your short film,” Jisung spoke, earning a pointed glare for you, as if daring him to continue (and you should’ve known that wasn’t going to faze him at all).

“Oh, were you?” Changbin drawled, his eyebrows raised and a slight smile playing at his lips, “I’m sure Y/N had a lot to say about that.”

As you were about to speak, Jisung had interjected with a little giggle, “she did.”

Changbin didn’t seem to take Jisung’s comment as an answer, simply keeping his gaze fixed on you, prompting you to produce an answer of your own. You ignored the knowing look Jisung gave you.

You sighed, “maybe I wouldn’t, if someone just took my suggestions.”

Changbin had let out a small huff at that, leaning back in his seat with his arms folded over his chest as Chan returned to the table with his and Changbin’s food, casting curious glances between the three of you seated at the table.

“Hope you guys didn’t fight while I was gone,” he joked, making you sigh, and you missed the pointed look he cast Changbin’s way when the boy had scoffed, “what were you guys talking about before I came?”

You shrugged.

“We were talking about the short film,” you told him, “kind of.”

Chan had perked up at that, turning to you as he handed Changbin his food, “oh yeah, I wanted to ask if you had more feedback about the scenes.”

You nodded, “I do, actually.”

Changbin’s gaze lifted from his burger to look at you as he sighed, “what is it now?”

You huffed, “It’s not that bad. I was just wondering if the content of the letters were gonna be read out during the scene? ‘Cause if it is, then maybe we could kind of make it a little more relevant to their personalities or something.”

“Will that be hard? What do kids even talk about in their letters?” Jisung laughed.

Changbin’s lips parted slightly before pressing them into a firm line.

“Well, they’ll be like 9 when they’re exchanging letters, I suppose, so I guess they’d at least know how to have a conversation… ” He sounded almost hesitant, making you wonder why he made talking about childhood penpals seem like such a complex thing.

You thought about your own penpal, Binnie. You were about that age when you were exchanging letters with him too, figuring you could give some insight on that until Jisung had intercepted.

“At that age all I did was talk about hot wheels, to be honest. Much less talk to girls,” he snorted, making you scoff, using your shoe to nudge his leg under the table.

Chan, who had been silently thinking, had straightened up abruptly.

“Wait,” Chan’s eyebrows lowered, frowning slightly as his lower lip jut out in a slight pout. He directed his attention to Changbin, pointing his index finger towards him, “didn’t you used to have a penpal?”

You had to stop yourself from making your shock too obvious, your eyes widening as your gaze became nothing but accusatory. How badly did his penpal experience go for him to be so cynical about it now?

Whatever it was, the newfound information made you curious as to exactly how much of the story he’d changed, more importantly, how much he’d retained.

“You?” you couldn’t help yourself from blurting, though Changbin remained unamused.

“Yeah, I did,” he bypassed your incredulous stare, answering Chan simply.

Jisung hummed, bringing one hand up to fiddle with his ear piercing, not having expected Changbin’s response.

“Oh, well, what was it like, then?”

Changbin shrugged, resting one of his forearms on the table to support himself, his other hand reaching down to pick up a fry, “was nice. We would exchange letters every week. Talked about a lot of things, sent each other pictures, you know, all that stuff.”

“Do you still keep in contact with them?” Chan asked, genuine curiosity in his voice, not having heard much from Changbin about this penpal in the entire duration of their friendship.

Changbin shook his head, “nope,” he popped the p, picking up his cup to swirl it around noisily, the ice rumbling as it got tossed around in the paper cup, proceeding to take a sip from it as the rest of you looked on curiously at him.

“Well, why not?” you dared to ask, a million different possible reasons running through your mind.

Maybe they did something to piss Changbin off, or maybe they got into a big fight (which also made you wonder how heated fights could get over snail mail), or maybe one of their parents disapproved of the other. The possibilities were endless as you anticipated just why 8 year old Changbin would’ve cut ties with his penpal. And maybe, you were enjoying the dramatic aspect of it a little more than you should’ve been.

But something about the way he replied felt restrained. Maybe you were reading into it too much, but he almost sounded evasive. But, of course, you chose to ignore (suppress) it for now, watching intently as Changbin had once again shrugged, an air of nonchalance to his gestures as he met your gaze.

“Just… grew out of it, I guess.”

You huffed, memories of your own penpal making his response sting.

You don’t think you ever ‘grew out’ of talking to binnie. You remembered how frustrated you were when you’d stopped hearing from him after he moved, and every letter you’d sent to his new address had only been returned back to you. Maybe he grew out of it, but you wouldn’t have left it like that if you had a choice.

You rolled your eyes at his response, something in your response seeming to have irked Changbin.

“What?” he snapped, making you hesitate just the slightest bit, deciding to bite your tongue and shake your head.

“Nothing.”

Chan let out a huff of laughter through his nose next to you, shaking his head at you goodnaturedly.

“Forgive us, you always seem like you have something more to say,” Chan spoke, apparent ‘damage control’ for Changbin’s abrasiveness.

“Wait, so, you’re really not gonna have a happy ending?” Jisung frowned.

“Well, Changbin and I were talking about it after the meeting that day, we figured since we have time we could afford to change the script a little,” he hummed, turning to you, “you know, since it could be a chance to kind of send a more hopeful message like you were talking about.”

Your eyes widened, your hand almost reaching out to touch Chan’s arm but realising you were still holding your burger, “really? You’re open to changing it?”

Changbin’s gaze flickered momentarily to you, observing your posture, noticing how open and comfortable you seemed with Chan, the sight alone enough to make him scoff. Call him a cynic, but he couldn’t tell if this was you acting or not just to get your way.

“There could be another meeting for you to discuss and work on the script together, but yeah, we’re alright with changing it.”

You turned to Changbin, a hint of distrust in your stare, making him huff again, putting down his drink on the table with a little too much force.

“He said it, not me,” he told you, pressing his lips firmly into a tight line, “you wanna change my script so badly? Fine. But your ideas better be worth changing it for.”

Jisung scrunched up his nose as you turned back to Chan, not wishing to look at Changbin’s face any longer, leaning over to whisper to Changbin, “you two don’t like each other very much, do you?”

If he was caught off guard by Jisung’s statement, he didn’t show it.

Changbin shrugged, picking his drink back up, “they started it.”

At the sound of his accusation, your eyes narrowed, turning to glare at Changbin, thankful for Jisung nudging you under the table before you could retaliate with a comment of your own. Chan simply casting you an amused look, his eyebrows raised in a silent question of what you were about to do.

You shook your head.

Whatever, you pushed your annoyance away in your head, as long as Chan was there during the rewrite meeting, you’d hopefully still be able to maintain your sanity.

Or at least, that was the hope that you were holding on to until that night when you’d gotten a text from Chan.

Chan 11:17pm - hey, i gave changbin your number if you don't mind... you know, since you guys have to discuss to rewrite the script and all -

You’d almost sat up from your bed in shock, frowning against the harsh light coming from your phone and the contents of the text, the latter obviously making you more disgruntled.

11:17pm - won’t you be discussing with us?? Why not just make a group chat??? -

Your heart was pumping with anxiousness as you awaited his reply, something about the sound of the clock ticking putting you in an even more anxious state, your heart almost sinking as texts from him and Changbin had come in at the same time.

You looked at Chan’s first.

Chan 11:18pm - oh i didn’t tell you? All script writing is done by Changbin. I’m just in charge of the other elements like props and directing and whatnot -

You shut your eyes, suddenly wishing you could travel back a few seconds back in time and not have checked your phone when Chan had texted you. Bringing your fingers across your screen reluctantly as you typed a reply to him.

11:18pm - ohhh hahaha right i forgot, thanks chan -

Now for the bigger menace at hand. You swiped over to Changbin’s message, your finger lingering on his chat as you decided to stop being petty and just open it.

seo changbin 11:18pm - just so you know, i’m doing this only because Chan asked me to. we can go over the changes at my house. is saturday okay with you? -

You pulled your notifications bar down. Tomorrow was Friday, and from what you knew you were pretty much free on Saturday. Fortunately or unfortunately for you.

You took another deep breath as you typed out your reply to him. For your own sanity, you tried to ignore the way he felt the need to clarify that he wasn’t doing it for your sake.

11:18pm - saturday’s fine. What time?-

Resisting the urge to go offline when you saw him come online, you felt as though you were in some sort of staring contest through your phone as you watched him type, his message coming in quickly.

seo changbin 11:18pm -1? We could order in and discuss -

You sighed, it wasn’t enough that he had to take away one peaceful lunch from you today, but yet another one on Saturday.

11:19pm -okay text me your address-

Another sigh left you when you read that the address he’d sent you was just a few blocks away from your apartment. Maybe he lived alone too; most of the apartments here were occupied by college students looking for affordable rent and shorter travel time.

seo changbin 11:19pm - don't be late -

You scoffed, shoving your phone back onto your bedside table as you slumped back against your pillow, burying your head into your pillow and kicking at your blanket that covered your feet uncomfortably.

Fine, if he wanted to be that way, that was fine by you. You would just do this for the sake of the short film. Yeah. That’s all it would be.

===

“Let’s make this quick and painless for the both of us,” you blurted the moment Changbin had opened his door to let you in, glad to see he was donning an outfit similar to yours (sweatpants and a t-shirt), your previous worries of being underdressed dissipating instantly.

He let out a sigh, his hand coming up to run it through his hair, his hair messy and sticking up at one place awkwardly, looking as though he’d slept on that side for too long.

“Hello to you too,” he grumbled, shutting the door behind you as he gestured to the living room.

You glanced around his rather plain apartment as he led you to the living room, his laptop resting on one of the cushions of the sofa, soft music verberating from the device.

“What food do you want?” he asked, earning a thoughtful frown from you as you set your things down on the floor next to the sofa, taking a seat on the other side of it.

“Fastest delivery would be if we order from that Chinese food place nearby, right?”

Changbin’s eyebrows quirked up in intrigue, “I was thinking of that place too,” he handed you his phone, letting you order what you wanted before handing it back to him.

It was otherwise silent between the both of you as you waited for the food to arrive, neither of you quite knowing how to break the silence. The tension slowly made you grow increasingly fidgety as time passed.

Changbin had sat down on the floor next to the coffee table, resting one hand on his soft rug as he pushed a stack of papers towards you, drawing your attention away from your soft copy of the script on your phone as you realised it was a hard copy of the script.

“Just use this, i’ve got a copy on my laptop,” he mumbled, making you nod, accepting it from him as you flipped to where you left off.

Changbin glanced at the clock, in disbelief that only 10 minutes had passed and yet he found himself feeling jittery at your silence. Turning his gaze towards you, he let out a small sigh.

He had expected you to say something by now, or let out some snarky comment about something he wrote. Your silence was unnerving him, it was almost as if he wanted you to say something, especially with the way you were scribbling notes beside the pages with a mechanical pencil he didn’t even recall seeing you take out.

“Which scene are you at?” he blurted, his anxiousness getting the better of him, making your head shoot up abruptly, surprised at his sudden outburst.

“Uh,” you glanced back down at the page, “I’m at the part where they find out they used to be penpals,” you told him.

“Okay,” Changbin murmured, thinking about where to go from there, momentarily distracted when he’d heard the doorbell ring. Pausing, he’d stepped out momentarily to retrieve your food, the rustling of bags getting louder as he neared the table.

Setting the food down on the table, surprising you when he’d pushed the food towards you, your surprise hadn’t gone unnoticed by Changbin.

“What?” he scoffed.

You shrugged, “nothing, just didn’t know you were capable of doing nice things,” you told him, a sarcastic lilt to your tone.

Changbin inhaled deeply, shooting you a patronizing smile as he broke his chopsticks, “anyway, I think we could start from there, since that’s kind of the turning point of their relationship.”

You nodded, pulling your food towards you as you began to eat.

“I was thinking,” you spoke, pausing to chew on your food, “this part has a lot of unanswered questions, like… I wouldn’t just let it go so easily if I found out someone was my penpal that I grew apart from. I felt like they should’ve had a bit more of a confrontation there.”

Changbin hummed, shocking you when he’d leant closer to you to look at the script, making you push it towards him, a small huff leaving him at your action.

“What questions do you think Penny would ask, then?” he asked you.

“I don’t know, maybe why they stopped talking in the first place?” there was a hint of sarcasm in your tone, making Changbin look at you over his mouthful of noodles.

“I told you already, Soobin grew out of it—”

You grimaced at his answer, your chopsticks halting before your mouth momentarily before you shovelled your noodles in with annoyance, “I don’t believe that.”

“I used to have a penpal, and I can guarantee you, the reason why we stopped talking wasn’t because we ‘grew out of it’,” you told him pointedly, having to stop yourself from growing too riled up about it, Changbin tensing up at your revelation.

Bringing his glass of water to his lips, he let his gaze wander around everything but you as he thought, curious as to what your penpal experience was like. Finally meeting your gaze, he almost sputtered over his water with how much he wasn’t paying attention to his actions, the only thing on his mind being to get his words out.

“You did?” It was pathetic, really, that that was all he’d come up with after such a long pause.

You nodded.

“Yeah, but it doesn’t matter, the story isn’t based on my penpal, it’s based on yours,” you attempted to draw the attention away from you, unsettling feelings of sourness building within you at the thought of how you left things.

“So, think. What would you be curious about?” you prompted him, seeing him purse his lips, a certain dazed look tinting his gaze.

Swallowing his mouthful of food, he looked at you as he thought. He would want to know if they were still passionate about acting, he would want to know how their family was doing, he would want to know if their personality had changed, if they were still the assertive ‘go after what you want’ character that had encouraged him so much. Or maybe, just how they are.

Changbin’s lips parted, shaking his head slowly, “... so many things,” he murmured.

An unexpected tension fell between the both of you, Changbin’s eyes meeting yours with a sort of unspeakable thoughtfulness, as if he was still thinking about your question.

You broke eye contact first, “write that, then. Who knows? Maybe they’re both as curious as the other.”

“You’re one of those glass half full people, aren’t you?” he huffed, making you click your tongue in annoyance.

“And what? You have no glass at all?” you retorted.

“Would you still be… curious too? Even If it didn’t end well?” he asked suddenly, a stupid question, Changbin thought, but still something he felt compelled to ask in the moment, as if he wanted the confirmation that you, someone with a penpal experience as well had shared the same sentiments as him.

You nodded, “of course I’d be. I could hate you and still be curious about you,” you shrugged.

“Me?” Changbin asked, making your eyes widen, the tension dissipating slightly as you shook your head vigorously, your hands coming up to wave at him dismissively.

“No no, not you. I meant-” you stopped yourself, glaring at him, “I just meant it as an example.”

And for what you were sure was the first time, Changbin had laughed, beginning to feel a bit more comfortable around you, his eyes forming narrow slits and the apples of his cheeks rounding slightly as he grinned, soft breathy giggles leaving him.

“Alright, I get it. It’s not a secret that you don’t like me.”

You huffed, not being able to help but feel the need to reassure him, “you’re not… that bad I guess. Jisung talks you up all the time.” you said, unsure why you felt the need to reassure him that you didn’t have a burning hatred for him, “you’re just stubborn as hell.”

He scoffed, “I could say the same about you.”

You quirked an eyebrow at him, reaching over to flip the page, “glad to know we’re on the same page, then.”

“Now that you said it,” Changbin began, moving on quickly from your bickering as he shoved his empty food packaging aside, “I do think Soobin would be curious about the things they talked about in their letters.”

You perked up at that, eyebrows raising, “That reminded me, I actually still have some of the letters from my penpal when we were younger, if you want I can loan them to you for some inspiration or something.”

Changbin nodded, flipping over to another page before pausing to type something on his computer, “yeah, actually that would be useful.”

You continued to look at the script for what had become hours, the both of you deciding it would be easier if you each assumed one of the character’s voices, speaking on behalf of the characters as you discussed. Coming up with a ‘what would soobin/penny do?’ process.

All the while during this discussion, Changbin had been scribbling down in his beaten up journal, the sides of the spine of the book peeling off when he’d set it down on the table, making you grimace.

“Do you think Pe—”

“Why don’t you just get a new journal? This one’s making such a mess,” you blurted out, frowning at the way the little brittle pieces of God knows what material covered his notebook had fallen onto the coffee table, making him tear his gaze away from what he was writing, looking at the mess on the coffee table you were gesturing at and letting out an amused huff.

“Oh, didn’t notice,” he smiled, “but that won’t be necessary, this journal’s been serving me fine.”

“It’s literally falling apart,” you pointed out.

“And you’re literally exaggerating.”

You scoffed.

“I mean, look at it, it’s such a hassle to use, since you have to keep cleaning up whenever you do so much as touch it,” you reasoned, seeing him shake his head.

“I don’t need a new journal, I’m perfectly fine using this one,” he told you, making you scrunch your nose up in distaste, Changbin looking at you with amusement heavily laden in his smile.

It seemed that there was something about the hours of bouncing off ideas and bickering that warmed the both of you up more, not feeling as wound up or hostile towards each other as you did a few hours ago, bonding over a shared want for the short film to be good.

“What?” he asked, leaning back against the sofa and resting his arm on one of the cushions, his other hand grasping his fingers as he awaited your response.

“You sound exactly like my mom,” you had a sour look on your face, continuing, “I bet you’re one of those needs versus wants people.” You huffed in amusement, shifting in your seat as you flipped through the scene you were about to discuss.

Changbin’s lips parted in shock, a breathy huff leaving him, “and what’s that supposed to mean?”

You shrugged, “You know, those people that decide on buying things through the concept of needing it or not.”

Changbin rolled his eyes, “yeah, like any other normal person.”

“It’s so boring! Ever heard of the concept of treating yourself?” you huffed, gesturing wildly. You were clearly very passionate about this.

Changbin shook his head, the smile lingering on his face, “I’m starting to understand why you’re Jisung’s friend. Sure, a treat once in a while is understandable, but i’d rather not waste my money on things I could do without.”

You huffed, a deep sigh leaving you, recalling a conversation you had with Binnie about his scooter.

“What’s up with boys and this need versus want thing? My penpal said the same thing even though he was only eight,” you mumbled, a small breath of laughter leaving your lips, leaving Changbin frowning at your statement.

Maybe other kids just talked about the same things he did with Y/N? He brushed the thought aside.

“He did?”

Changbin’s voice came out more hoarse than he’d intended, the intent in his stare making you falter momentarily, forgetting what you were doing just for a second.

Thankfully, you’d snapped out of whatever trance you were in, shaking your head dismissively, “nothing, it doesn’t matter.”

Changbin tilted his head at you, narrowing his eyes as he contemplated whether to pursue it or not, watching closely as you busied yourself with flipping pages just to look busy, even though the inside of your mind was spinning with an indescribable feeling that came with convincing yourself that the drift between you and your penpal was merely circumstantial.

You chewed on your lip, hating the way it felt as though your stomach was churning as you remembered the disappointment you felt when your letters had stopped getting sent through.

You were young, surely you shouldn’t blame yourself, you believed that. Your finger fiddled with the corner of the page, staring at Soobin’s dialogue.

‘Did our conversations even mean anything to you?’ the dialogue read, and you inhaled deeply as your head lifted to look at Changbin, your abrupt movement almost making him flinch in surprise.

“Why did you really stop talking to your penpal?” you sighed, curiosity getting the better of you. Though at this point you weren’t sure if it was curiosity or simply reassurance. Maybe even closure. All of which you needed to satisfy.

Changbin knew you weren’t going to accept his ‘grew out of it’ statement for an answer, deciding to be honest with you, you know, for the sake of the short film.

“I just… stopped hearing from them,” he began, heaving a sigh of his own as he shifted in his seat, picking at the imaginary dust on his sweatpants, “guess they had nothing to say.”

You couldn’t lie about it, you felt relieved. A part of you began to understand why he’d painted Penny’s character out to be like that, or furthermore why Soobin had seemed so affected by the revelation.

“Nothing to say…” you echoed, as if trying to wrap your head around his reasoning as well.

A small huff of amusement left him, though there was a hint of bitterness in his smile.

“I wouldn’t have minded, you know.”

He took his lower lip between his teeth, letting it go and you watched as the blood rushed back into his lips, looking redder than before.

Your eyebrows knit into a frown, “Wouldn’t have minded what?”

Changbin met your gaze, giving you a resigned shrug, “hearing it,” he continued, “nothing, everything.”

You could almost feel your heartbeat slowing down, the tense silence returning in the room and making you feel like you couldn’t breathe. Now that was some dialogue.

“Oh,” you broke the silence, your blank expression reading pure shock, your reaction catching Changbin off guard, “write that down, that’s such a Soobin thing to say.”

Changbin couldn’t do anything but laugh, shaking his head at you, “how opportunistic of you,” he teased, though he wrote it down nonetheless.

Maybe you being here was good, Changbin thought, it reminded him not to take himself too seriously sometimes.

===

To: Binnie

How are you?

I hope you are not still sad about your friends. I would tell you not to listen to them but i know that’s difficult sometimes because you can hear everything they say. But they were being very mean so they are not nice people. I don’t agree with what they said, because i think you are very nice and you have a nice smile. I don’t think you are scary. Sometimes my mom tells me i should smile more so people think i’m happy but I think you should just smile if you are happy. If you are sad then you can be sad. It is not a bad thing. I’m your friend because you’re nice to me and I like talking to you. If they’re going to be mean to you then they’re not your friends. If they do that to you again you can tell me their address and I will go and tell them myself!

Till next time, Your penpal Y/N

You’d shown up on the filming set on the first day absolutely buzzing from head to toe and ready to go (though, when you told Jisung about how you felt he’d insisted it was because of the lack of substantial sleep and the cans of energy drink you’d both drank the night before while he was helping you prepare your lines), but it seemed that everyone on the set was more tense than ever.

You found Hyunjin huddled with a few of them next to the sound cart, deciding to approach them to ask where Changbin was, having bought a coffee for him along the way.

“Hey,” you called, Hyunjin jumping in shock as he turned, his hand over his heart as he winced at you.

“Why do you move so quietly!” he groaned, making you dismiss him with a wave.

“Did something happen? You guys look stressed,” you took a step towards them, possible reasons fluttering around in your mind but none seeming quite appropriate for the context you were in. Maybe the semester’s GPA results were out?

“Whatever, do you guys know where I can find Changbin?” The boy next to Hyunjin, a freshman by the name of Jeongin had sucked in a sharp breath at your question, making you grow even more confused.

“He’s… a little tense these days, so I’d suggest being a more careful around him,” Chan explained, earning nods of agreement from the film club members.

Your eyebrows raised, confusion showing in a slight pout on your lips. You didn’t remember him behaving out of the ordinary when you’d seen him the day before.

“Where’d he go?”

“He’s over there,” Chan pointed towards where the camera was set up and true enough, you saw Changbin seated at a bench there busying himself with his phone.

Nodding, you’d made your way over to Changbin, discomfort growing within you at the stares you were getting from the club members (some of which you didn’t even know the names of) as you made your way towards the blonde haired boy. It was a wonder why they all avoided him like the plague.

Changbin seemed to have sensed your presence, looking up from his phone and giving you a small wave as you reached the bench, sitting down next to him and holding out his cup of coffee.

Accepting it gratefully, he’d given you a nod.

“Thanks,” he glanced at your hands, “you didn’t get one for yourself?”

You let out a small burst of chuckles, “nope, figured it wasn’t the most logical thing to do since i’m already pretty alert from last night’s energy drinks.”

Changbin sucked in a sharp breath, clicking his tongue in teasing disapproval, “I figured as much, Jisung was way too hyper when I met him at the studio.”

Your expression was sheepish, “I’d say I was sorry but it was... important.”

Changbin huffed, “It’s alright, as long as you’re taking care of yourself.”

Before you could react to his statement, Changbin had acted as though he hadn’t said anything, an amused smile playing at his lips as he tore his gaze away from you, looking forward as he took a sip from his cup, “ready to film today?”

You nodded, regaining your bearings, trying not to think too much of his words.

“Pretty much, you?”

Changbin nodded, “yeah, even though we still have a little bit of the script left, I would say i’m pretty confident.”

You glanced behind Changbin, spotting Hyunjin looking at the both of you with sheer disbelief, making you roll your eyes, turning back to Changbin, angling your body on the bench so you could hug your knees to your chest, looking at him curiously.

“Are you feeling okay?”

He nodded, looking at you with confusion written in his features, clasping his hands around his coffee cup as he rested his hands on his lap, “yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

Maybe it was just his resting bitch face.

“Smile,” you commanded, nodding your head when he’d looked even more confused.

You watched in amusement as Changbin had laughed, shaking his head before looking at you with an all too sarcastic smile, his hand coming up in a peace sign next to his cheek, a smile unknowingly making its way onto your face at the sight.

“Okay now, don’t smile,” you continued.

Changbin had let his smile fall, looking just the same as he did when you’d shown up, making you press your lips into a firm line, a slight knit in your brows as your eyes narrowed.

Turning his head, he straightened up.

“Cool, Minho’s here,” he said, getting up and holding a hand out to help you up.

“Thanks,” you muttered, not expecting him to turn around and give you a smile.

“Let’s go, Penny.”

It was strange to you that there was something that felt so familiar about his smile, it reminded you of something that made you feel nostalgic. You liked seeing him smile. Changbin had a nice smile.

You brushed the thought away, nodding as you took his hand, letting him help you out.

“What, so you guys don’t hate each other anymore?” Jisung groaned later on that same week when you’d told him about the exchange you had.

He lifted his head from where he lay on your bed, “God, with you guys it’s like everyday’s something different.”

You quirked an eyebrow at him in amusement, “well… that’s because it is, isn’t it?”

You spotted the box of letters from your childhood penpal hidden beneath a stack of novels you had yet to unpack, your eyes glistening with triumph as you reached into your storage closet, fishing it out with a grunt.

“Come to think of it, Changbin hasn’t said anything about you since that day you met him to rewrite the script,” he murmured thoughtfully.

Heaving a sigh as you got up from your squat, you closed your closet, “which day? We met up a few times for the script.”

Jisung perked up at that, sitting up slightly and supporting his weight with his elbows.

“You did? Why am I only finding out about this now?” he scoffed.

You rolled your eyes, walking over to your desk to set the box onto it, “I told you about it, you just forgot.”

Making your way over to the bed, you flopped down onto your belly next to Jisung, looking at him curiously as he frowned at you. His mention of Changbin had made you curious.

“He… really hasn’t said anything about me?” you dared to ask, regretting it almost immediately when Jisung had taken the opportunity to twist your words.

Jisung’s expression had changed to one that you were all too used to, how his eyes would give away that he was thinking of saying something to tease you, his lips curving into a slight smirk.

“Why? Do you want him to be talking about you?”

You wrinkled your nose, a small panicked scoff leaving you, “yeah, right. Don’t get too carried away there.”

Jisung prodded further, leaning closer to you as he drawled, “well, why not? I mean, you said it yourself, you guys are on pretty good terms now, aren’t you?”

You purse your lips. The film club had been nice enough to give you a month longer to work on the script, you and Changbin ending up getting carried away and doing the whole thing over. And of course, within that month, you interacted with Changbin in some way or another almost everyday.

It could be meetings at his or your apartment, or spontaneous phone calls when one of you thought of an idea and you’d felt inspired to discuss it (even if you were on your bed tucked into your sheets when it happened most of the time), sometimes it was even just simple texts checking up on each other and asking what the other thought about the updates.

Nonetheless, you’d grown used to Changbin’s presence, finding that after that meeting at his house, it was like it had softened the both of you up to each other, especially when you realised your perception of Changbin was all wrong and that really, he was as soft as softies go.

You gave Jisung a shrug, tugging the neckline of your shirt down, feeling as though the room had gotten hotter, “I mean, yeah, I guess. He doesn’t annoy me as much as he used to.”

Jisung let out a chuckle, the laugh bubbling out louder as he continued.

“You know if you tell me you like him now, I won’t make fun of you.”

“You’re lying.”

“So, you do like him?” His grin widened, making you sputter for a better response, figuring you’d dug your own grave with that one.

“Don’t stir shit,” you narrowed your eyes at him.

Your reaction had only tickled him even more, clutching his belly as he sighed, “I knew it. Remember? I told you he was your type!” his tone was triumphant, making you regret fuelling his suspicions.

“Yeah, I’m sure you’re very happy about that,” you huffed, turning away from him and burying your face in your soft sheets, your hand coming up next to your head to smooth over the fabric.

You felt Jisung’s hand on your arm, his expression grim.

“Wait, so am I really right? You like him?”

You shrugged his hand away, though he hadn’t budged, giving up soon after.

“I mean,” you enjoyed your last moment of peace before you decided to reply to him, “he’s cute, I won’t deny that. And he’s become a lot nicer to me… he’s fun to talk to? I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little attracted to him.”

Jisung snickered, “that’s cute, but gross. I can’t believe you like Changbin.”

Trust him to only get that out of whatever you’d just told him.

You turned to give him a wide-eyed look of disbelief, “oh, please, you were the one that kept fluffing him up to me!”

Jisung had simply shrugged, unfazed by your outburst, a small sound of hesitation leaving him.

“I would say I did a minimal amount of fluffing. I just called it before the both of you realised.”

You grit your teeth, “fine, enjoy your moment. But one word about it to Changbin and you’re dead. Got it?”

Jisung’s eyes widened, his hand coming up to mimic zipping up his lips.

“Got it.”

===

“Cut!”

You turned to cast a desperate look to Chan, the said boy looking apologetic as he called for a stop again. You watched as he leant down for Changbin to murmur something in his ear, Chan nodding before making his way over to you and Minho.

“We’re thinking maybe you could try that scene again but maybe with just a little more… in the moment? Maybe try not to rush through it,” Chan suggested to Minho, making the said boy groan.

“Sorry, it’s my fault. It’s just- we’ve been filming for hours, if I wasn’t so scared of Changbin I would’ve—”

“I know,” Chan reassured Minho, giving the both of you a small smile, “hopefully we can get this scene done quickly and then we’ll all be free to go, hmm?”

You nodded, letting Chan make his way back to where the monitor was as you got back into position with Minho.

Changbin watched intently as you and Minho acted out the scene again, something about the way Minho was delivering his lines seeming so unaligned with the picture Changbin had in his head. Was it the lines that weren't doing it for him? Was it because Changbin couldn’t quite tap into the emotions of the character in this scene?

He wasn’t sure what exactly it would look or sound like to be in love, but whatever ‘Soobin’ was showing, sure wasn’t what Changbin wanted it to be.

After you’d finished the scene, the film club members had waited anxiously for Changbin’s greenlight on whether they were free to go, all of them anxiously looking on as Chan went to talk to a few of them at props.

You taken the liberty of making your way over to where Changbin was, seeing him intently monitoring the scene that you’d just shot, the reason behind why he’d made you and Minho run through the same scene 15 times starting to become clear to you.

“That’s not gonna help you make it better, you know?” you spoke, shoving your hands into your pocket and scrunching your eyes shut as you braced against the cool wind that was blowing your way, the trees rustling loudly as Changbin’s head shot up, the frown remaining on his face.

“What?” Changbin figured he came off as a little too annoyed, but he stayed unwavering nonetheless, wanting to know just what you thought you knew about him.

“You know, I watched an interview once, and this actor said something that was so true,” you began, taking a seat next to him, feeling his gaze on you before you continued, your gaze falling on the image of you and Minho on the monitor, “he said that playback makes scenes seem a lot more dissatisfactory.”

Changbin’s frown deepened, “I don’t get it, just spit it out.”

You rolled your eyes, though you couldn’t help but smile, “I’m trying to give you advice here, okay? As I was saying, be in the moment. Not everything’s gonna turn out like how it is in your head.”

You inhaled deeply, a slight shiver running down your spine at how cold you felt, taking a hand out of your pocket to tap him on the arm.

“Now can you wrap it up and call it a day? The rest of them have been dying to go home but they’re too scared to tell you.”

Changbin hummed, “They are? Why?”

You nodded, seeing Changbin already making to stand up and call for the rest’s attention, with you taking the opportunity to lean over to him and mutter, “Dunno, maybe they just haven’t figured out what a softie you are yet.”

Changbin attempted to press his lips together firmly to contain his smile, though eventually giving up and letting the soft smile be shown on his face as he dismissed the club members, the rest of them already having started shifting their equipment back.

You’d decided to help them shift the equipment while Changbin talked to Chan about something, trying your best to ignore the way the weather seemed to be getting chillier as all the equipment had started feeling cold to the touch. Mental note to start wearing warmer clothes out after today.

“Thanks for convincing Changbin to free us,” Hyunjin sighed when you were coming down the stairs after locking the club room, making you huff.

“He’s not some dictator, you know. You guys could just ask him next time,” you reasoned.

Hyunjin scoffed, “I’d much rather keep my life, thank you very much.”

Rolling your eyes, you pulled out your phone as you thought whether to text Jisung if he’d wanted to meet for dinner.

“You’re so dramatic,” you told Hyunjin, “I told him and I got to keep my life.”

Hyunjin scoffed, “that’s cause he—”

He stopped himself abruptly, eyes widening for a split second before he shrugged, “that’s cause you fight with him all the time, it’s different.”

You saw a text come in.

Changbin 8:14pm - do u wanna go get dinner? I’m done talking to Chan -

“Speak of the devil,” you murmured, erasing your drafted text to Jisung and replying to Changbin to say that you would wait at the quad.

Changbin 8:14pm - i was thinking of eating some cold noodles -

You grimaced at the thought, Hyunjin pulling you out of your thoughts, “are you waiting for Changbin?”

You nodded, sensing his hesitancy to let you wait there alone, “you go ahead, I’ll be fine, he’s already on his way.”

Hyunjin frowned, turning to see Changbin from afar already making his way over, Changbin having spotted the both of you and given Hyunjin a wave.

Waving back, Hyunjin nodded, “alright, I’ll see you.”

Tugging your jacket tighter around yourself, you folded your arms, hoping Changbin would hurry up so you could finally go somewhere with heating.

Though once he’d met up with you, you were a little confused when he’d gone a completely different direction than you’d expected, leading you to a traditional restaurant that served mainly soups and broths instead.

Don’t get me wrong, you were thankful for the warmth of the restaurant, of course, but just a little confused about why he changed his mind.

You let him order for the both of you, looking curiously from where you were seated facing him, leaning back in the wooden chairs as Changbin ordered from the older lady running the shop.

“I thought you wanted to eat cold noodles?” you scanned the menu in search of the item, confusion increasing when you found nothing of the sort.

Changbin shook his head, “figured you might wanna eat something warmer,” he admitted, making your lips part in surprise.

“How’d you know?”

Changbin didn’t know how to explain that it was because he’d kept looking at you during shooting and he didn’t miss the way your hands would clench and unclench the fabric of your clothes, or how you’d fold your arms more and shake them out in between takes when you thought no one was looking.

“… just a wild guess.”

You brushed his comment aside, the both of you talking about your upcoming classes or complaining about readings that had yet to be read, the sheer boiling temperature of the stone pot making heat rush to your cheeks and spread through your body, thankful for Changbin’s wild guess.

Leaning back in your seat with your hands over your stomach, you sighed at how full you were feeling, already anticipating your food coma as you let yourself zone out staring at the label of Changbin’s bottle of soju.

“Are they really scared of me?”

You’d dragged yourself out of your daze (reluctantly), your lips pursing, “sorry, what did you say?”

Changbin averted his gaze, fiddling with his fingers under the table. Smoothing his thumb over the soft skin at his palm, his tongue poking at his canines before he looked back at you, meeting your gaze with a certain determination.

“The film club people,” he repeated, “are they really scared of me?”

You shrugged, “yeah, I guess. Like, they talked about it before… I guess it’s because you have that serious expression on a lot so they might take it the wrong way.”

Observing his expression, his lips had parted, a blank expression on his face, “I have a serious expression?”

You couldn’t help but laugh, tilting your head at him, “I think It’s just your resting face. They’re kind of wary of how they act around you during meetings, you know, which is why they had that kind of reaction when I first spoke up about the script.”

Changbin let his grip around his spoon relax, whatever rice he’d scooped into it dispersing into the soup.

“Then why aren’t you scared?”

You almost snorted with how immediate your laughter had bubbled out of you, a bout of chuckles leaving you as your shoulders shook lightly.

“Because,” you waved your spoon slightly, “there’s nothing to be scared of.”

Changbin’s blank expression had prompted you to continue.

“I have no problem with you being assertive about what you want,” you explained, “I mean, if it were my script, i’d probably be equally, if not more, assertive about how I want it. But that’s a good thing about you. You don’t just… shut up if something doesn’t sit right with you. That’s something I’ve always thought was really important.”

Call him crazy, but Changbin couldn’t adequately describe how your words had done more in spreading a giddy warmth in his chest than the food ever could.

He wasn’t always like this. If anything, he’d wanted to say that he’d pushed himself to be more assertive after countless conversations with his penpal about not being afraid to speak up for what you want.

Though he’d always been scared of whether he’d be doing a disservice to the people he worked with if he chose not to speak up, he was glad that you reminded him just why he started doing it in the first place.

Penny’s character in his head had started to look more and more like you. And he was glad.

“You wanna hear something crazy?” You blurted.

You didn’t know where you were going with this. It was a spur of the moment kind of thing, really. You just knew that saying what you said to him had triggered a sense of what you could only describe as love within you. If you knew anything about it.

“What?” he asked, the smile on his face making you stop in your tracks. How could he remind you so much of someone, yet seem so much like a mature, upgraded version of them at the same time?

You couldn’t possibly tell him that you were starting to be kind of glad that you didn’t meet Binnie, because you felt like you were looking at him right now. And childhood penpal or not, you were so much more smitten with the one sitting before you.

“Nothing,” you breathed, “nothing, sorry, forget I said anything.”

Your revelation reminded you that you’d brought your old letters from Binnie for Changbin to tap on for inspiration to write the last scene, shutting your mouth and turning to fish the box out of your bag.

“I just remembered, you asked for these right?” you pushed the box towards him, seeing him pick up the box gingerly (as though it were that brittle old notebook he uses), placing it into his bag.

“I’m assuming they’re the letters from your old penpal?”

You nodded, “but don’t laugh when you read them, okay? He was really nice to me.”

Changbin huffed, his tongue peeking out to wet his lips, “yeah, yeah, no promises.”

After you were done with your dinner (Changbin paying for it as a supposed ‘thank you’ for being patient during filming), you’d prepared yourself to fight against the cold night breeze as you stepped out of the restaurant before Changbin, not having expected to feel a warm weight being draped over your shoulders.

“I don’t know why you decided to come out without a coat when you know now’s usually when the weather gets colder,” he tutted his tongue, feigning disapproval, not giving you any time to be shocked at his gesture.

He stood in front of you, tugging the coat tighter around you as he met your gaze, giving you a tired smile.

“I’ll walk you back to your apartment.”

You bit down on your lip, your racing heart and panic making the best reply you could come up with to be a mere, “didn’t peg you to be so gentlemanly.”

To which Changbin shrugged, a small smirk playing at his lips.

“I can be pretty romantic if I want.”

You were gonna get whiplash at this rate.

That same night (or day, 3am was a fine line), you’d received an email from Changbin of the last scene for the film, reading through it and having to stop in between for breaths and water breaks because you had no idea Changbin was capable of encompassing such romantic sentiments in a scene.

Looking at what he wrote, you would never have thought he was the same person that kept arguing with you about happy endings going to shit.

Changbin had written the scene in a burst of inspiration, having felt an almost uncomfortably foreign giddiness within him after returning home from your dinner, feeling even more motivated when he’d watched the film footage they’d shot earlier that day (unconsciously rewinding more than once to watch you act) deciding to just go with whatever he was feeling and write down the scene he had in mind.

And if anyone was asking, no, he totally didn’t picture you as Penny and himself as Soobin the entire time while doing so.

By the time you were done, it was almost an hour later, the aftermath of reading his scene making you pick your phone up and send him a text.

4:02am - did something happen? What’s with the lovey dovey script? Did someone finally change their mind about Penny? -

Not long after, Changbin’s reply came in, feeling thankful that he’d only decided to open your box of letters, or more accurately his letters, after he was done with the scene, something about what he found putting him in an all too thoughtful mood.

Changbin 4:04am -let’s just say... i took your advice-

===

“What do you think, Changbin?” Chan’s voice had snapped Changbin out of his daze, the latter looking at Jisung with a shrug.

“I would say you’re just short changing yourself if you didn’t talk to her. I mean, you said you liked her, right? So what are you waiting for?” Changbin sounded almost impatient, his tone eliciting a grunt from Jisung.

“Yeah, you say it like you’re not the one hiding your hopeless crush on Y/N.”

Chan’s eyes widened, not having expected Jisung to say it so blatantly.

Changbin sputtered, looking at Chan for help only to be met with giggles.

“I’m sorry, dude, it was really quite easy to tell.”

Changbin wanted the cushioned booth to swallow him whole, scrunching his eyes tightly shut in a wince.

“Whatever, that’s not the point,” he waved Jisung off dismissively, “we’re talking about your love life here.”

Jisung pursed his lips, shaking his head, “it’s not fun anymore, I wanna talk about yours.”

Changbin glared at Jisung, “i’m not having this conversation with you.”

“Good, ‘cause you should be having it with Y/N.”

Chan raised an eyebrow at the younger boy, humming in suspicion.

“Why do you sound like you know things...”

Jisung shrugged, raising his hands to give a dramatic shrug, “Do I? I guess we’ll never find out since Changbin ‘isn’t gonna have this conversation with me’.”

Chan turned to Changbin, who currently looked as though he would rather die than be here right now, “actually, what are you waiting for?”

Changbin brought a hand up to massage his fingers on his temples, a resigned sigh leaving him.

“I don’t know, I’ll probably not do anything until the showcase. I still don’t know how exactly I wanna go about it.”

Jisung snickered, “you’ll be fine, seriously.”

“Yeah, whatever, I’ll just enjoy whatever time I have left to think about it till the showcase. Now back to your issue… ”

But obviously, Changbin didn’t use his 3 days of buffer time very well.

He was lucky the atmosphere of the showcase and the unexpected crowd of people had prolonged the time until he’d be in a situation where he’d feel compelled to talk to you about it. Whatever it was.

You hadn’t noticed, obviously, the way Changbin had been keeping himself busy talking to guests and teachers that had shown up, people from the media and publications club. You were too busy being whisked away by your own friends and a already slightly tipsy Minho who thought it was a good idea to pregame drinks before the afterparty later on.

It’d only been when things started calming down and people were actually watching the film that you’d been put in a position where you had no choice other than to think about the boy seated in front of you tapping his foot incessantly on the carpeted floor of the auditorium.

Once the show was over, you’d leant forward, about to congratulate him when you’d both been whisked up by one of the teachers-in-charge, pulling you together with Minho onto the stage to answer questions from the audience.

The questions were fairly simple, most of them from the media and publications club trying to get technical details for their article, allowing you to zone out from where you stood on the stage, letting Changbin smoothly answer all the questions they could possibly throw at him. It wasn’t like Minho was in any position to answer them, tipsy and zoned out of his mind.

It was only when you’d heard him fumbling around with his words that you looked up from the spot on the wall you were staring at, turning to look at Changbin with an embarrassing amount of concern on your features.

“I’m sorry can you repeat the question?” you’d spoken into the microphone, hearing someone that sounded almost identical to Jisung asking how he got inspiration from the story.

You looked at Changbin curiously, as if silently asking if he needed you to step in, only to have him look at you with a blank expression, his mouth opening and closing as he fumbled for an answer.

“Oh, well, I’m sure I can answer this on behalf of Changbin,” you began, “we’d worked on the script together, and it was inspired by a lot of things, like our experiences with pen pals as well as movies like ‘you’ve got mail’.”

Changbin’s shoulders slumped with relief, nodding towards you as a silent thanks, the moment cut short when you were once again whisked away into different crowds to take pictures or to carpool to the afterparty.

Though you were bored 10 minutes into the party, Minho having gotten drunk before you could even get past your second drink, you’d let Changbin have his fun. You figured it was a good thing that he was being recognized for his efforts, even if he didn’t look like he was enjoying the attention very much. He needed it, you supposed, to be forced to see how much people enjoyed the work he made.

But you didn’t stay to see it too long, adjourning to the porch of whoever’s house you were in to enjoy an environment away from the loud music and too many people you didn’t know.

“Already bored?”

You’d jumped at the sound of Changbin’s voice, his footsteps loud against the wooden porch as he took a seat next to you on the swing, holding out his bottle of soda to you, “do you want some?”

You shook your head, seeing him shrug, “suit yourself, then.” He took a long sip of his soda, sighing afterwards.

A tired smile on your face, you let out a deep sigh, “didn’t expect you to find me here so quickly.”

“How could I not?” he laughed, shaking his head, “In case you didn’t notice, I was suffocating in there, figured I deserve a break.”

“Good job, though, I’d say you handled everything well…” you started, your smile growing, “... though there is one thing… I didn’t think you were the type to struggle with public speaking.”

Changbin’s lips parted in shock, scoffing, “shut up, I don’t usually.”

“Sure, you don’t,” you teased, bringing your hands to your sides to support your weight, letting your legs lift off the ground as Changbin used his feet to move the swing gently.

You leant back in your seat, enjoying the silence you were able to get out here as compared to the chaos going on within the house, noticing how tense Changbin seemed, his posture anything but relaxed as he’d let out sigh after sigh, tapping his rings against the seat of the bench absently.

“Relax,” you chuckled, “it’s already over.”

Doing the opposite of relaxing, Changbin simply stopped moving the swing, angling his body to face you more as he fished in his blazer pocket for something, pulling out an envelope from his jacket, “I have uh… something for you.”

Holding it out for you to take, your gaze fell on the colourful envelope, the little strawberry stickers you remembered using your savings to buy as you frowned at the address written on the envelope in your old messy ‘princess handwriting’.

Your gaze darted from the envelope back to him, “how did you… how do you have this?”

“I have it,” he began, letting out yet another sigh, “because you sent it to me.”

If it could, your heart would’ve stopped in that exact moment.

“Read it,” he prompted when you’d stayed silent, your hands moving urgently to open the envelope, your heart feeling warm when you pulled the paper out, already being able to see the ‘To: Binnie’ written with your favourite scented marker.

To: Binnie

How are you? I’m fine. I am writing this very late in the night because I finished my rehearsal for my school play in the evening and I just finished taking a bath. I have to be quick or my mom is gonna scold me for not sleeping yet. I wanted to tell you that you should sign up for the competition. Which is why I have to mail this to you A.S.A.P as possible because you said the sign up closes in a few days. I think that you should just try it out, even if you don’t do well. Because then at least you can say that you gave it a try and you had fun. I saw this on a tv show, and they said if you don’t try, you will never know if it will turn out well, because you didn’t try.

So I’m telling you to try!!!!! Just try your best and have fun. I think you will do well.

Till next time, Your penpal Y/N.

“So this is me… trying… it. Whatever it is,” he sounded out of breath, almost, and your heart had begun to pick up speed at how it seemed as though this would be the time where he would confess his feelings to you (if Soobin and Penny were any guide to go by).

You should’ve known Changbin better by now, though.

“Thank you… for helping me with the film. You know, for giving me crap about it because I know that that wasn’t really what I felt. I was just… bitter, but for some reason, you giving me shit about it kind of reminded me why I liked being friends with my penpal- or, I guess, liked being friends with you, so much in the first place.” he was looking at you more confidently now, straightening up as he continued.

“It wasn’t because you gave me fake money to buy a scooter, or anything,” he laughed, “it was more because you were someone that was friends with me for who I was? You were kind, and you were honest.”

Changbin fiddled with the envelope in his hands as you tried your best to contain your smile.

“And you were especially supportive, you know, in your own argumentative way.”

You let out a huff of breathy laughter at that, your hand coming up to touch your necklace, finding something else to fiddle with to contain your anxiousness.

“I’m glad, though, that I didn’t know you were that Y/N,” he told you, “because I already grew to like this Y/N so much, that… finding out was just… a pleasant surprise.”

For the first time since you saw the letter, you’d spoken, a breathy, “me too,” leaving you, embarrassing you to no end.

“I’m glad it was you,” you murmured, averting your gaze, not having expected Changbin to have reached out a hand towards yours, hovering just momentarily before making the decisive action of grasping it gently.

“Me too.”

“So are you gonna explain why my letters—”

“Shh,” he shut his eyes, the smile on his face making you give in almost instantly, “don’t ruin it.”

===

“I didn’t know people even still sent letters these days,” Jisung snorted, sipping on his coffee that he’d just gone downstairs to buy, “here, you have one, but there's no name.”

You frowned, picking it up and finding the handwriting of your address awfully familiar, feeling as though you’d definitely seen it scribbled on a specific brittle old notebook before.

You flopped onto your bed, opening the letter as Jisung resumed playing whatever game he was busy with on your desktop computer.

Thankful for the distraction, you’d quickly unfolded it, scrunching your nose at his choice of pen name.

To: my penpal Y/N

This letter may just be over a decade overdue, but I wanted to firstly say I’m sorry for making you wait so long. That letter about my film competition, that was the last one I received from you, and one of my favourites. I figured it out, by the way, I gave you the wrong address. Phonics was a very tricky thing for my eight year old stubborn self that refused to cross check with my mom.

I figured sending you a letter was best, you know, since you know I'm not the very best at public speaking, or just speaking in general sometimes, I doubt I'd be able to say as eloquently what I wanted to say to you in this letter.

I wanted to give you a few updates. Firstly, I met someone in my film club. Well, technically I auditioned them for my short film so there’s no one to blame for the trouble they caused other than me. I didn’t like them that much at the beginning. I thought they were just trying to impose their stupid happily ever after beliefs on me, someone who thought I was a big bad cynical bitter man that didn’t believe in love stories.

As you probably guessed, they challenged me (a lot), and waiting to see them started to feel like the days where I would wait to hear my mom tell me that a letter came in for me, even better actually. They reminded me of the qualities in myself that I was always afraid of showing, and they reminded me what was so good about being unapologetic for who I was sometimes, because they accepted all of that, (but not without giving me an shit about it first, of course).

But i’m thankful, I’m thankful because I really grew to like them a lot. I liked how I could be comfortable being myself around her, and I liked how they would support me when I needed it, but also to correct me when I need to be corrected.

They were real, and I liked that, a lot.

So, the point of this was that if they ever happen to receive this, you know, (because I totally didn’t know your current address, obviously), I hope they know that I’ve grown to like them very much, to like the personality that i’ve come to know, and that i’m very excited to grow to know (and like) even more.

I’ll be seeing you, Binnie.

#changbin #seo changbin #seo changbin au #changbin au #changbin fluff #skz changbin #skz au #skz #stray kids scenarios #stray kids #stray kids au #stray kids fluff #enemies-to-lovers!changbin #on track #stray kids imagines #skz imagines #I love changbin

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enha-woodzies · 4 years ago

Text

➸ CHAPTER 10 | " AT LONG LAST PT. 2 "

starring: enhypen ft. daniel

pairing: jungwon x fem!reader x sunghoon

genres: royal au, romance, angst, slowburn, 18th century setting

word count: 2.4k

taglist: @serendipitysung (betareader) @en-sun @affectionaterainoflove @renkiv @softforjungwoo @jislix @gyeraniee @fluffi @stxrryemxlys @jungwon-luv-bot-pt3 @lost-lepord-beanie @hyunsunge @hooniecore @thenoceurgirl @thonkingdeepo

[ PREV. CHAPTER ] | [ M. LIST ] | [ NEXT CHAPTER ]

One of the strangest things about love is that it will make you feel rooted one moment, then wavered by the next; all by the person whom you treated like your resting place — only for them to be tired of you in their next waking day. In Jungwon’s case, he didn’t feel threatened by the marquess’ efforts to acquire his girl. Despite Y/n’s plead to stop the unlabeled thing going on between them, Jungwon refused to feel daunted. So he did what he does best: expressing his sentiments in the form of written words— the language of the unsaid.

The night Y/n ended things between them, Jungwon made a quick stop to their library to write down a few of the many things she did to him on the daily; it contained some of the uncountable things he wanted to say to her if she’d only listened. He poured out his heart, writing to the best of his ability with all the love and warmth she deserved, hoping his adoration would reach her if it wasn’t too late yet.

Crumpling away various parchments and scratching several more, he finally had it neatly tucked in between the pages of their favorite Jane Austen book she threw at him weeks prior. Before leaving the said book upon the large, round table in the center of the room, Jungwon topped it off with a little quote, once again, peeking from the worn-out cover of the antique novel.

“I will go if you need me to go, but bear in mind that I don’t want to leave. I have no other homeland but you. So I will patiently sit in the corner of your heart and wait for our time.”

If it weren’t for Jay’s knowledge about his friend’s almost parting gift, Y/n wouldn’t be rushing down their manor’s library with an eager yet tormented heart the day after. She immediately clasped the book, the repertoire of their precious memories and Jungwon’s poetic affection, the instant she saw it lying on the surface of her late father’s desk.

Y/n pulled out the tiny parchment with Jungwon’s last quote, putting down the book back on the wooden desk. She carefully muttered each word as if it was an ode, constantly bouncing in her mind back and forth.

Her heart found a bit of relief behind his written words, yet she still found it vague that he couldn’t face her and tell her himself. Y/n picked the book again and as she flicked through the pages, a small, handwritten envelope caught her attention. Her heart began to thump.

She gently tore the envelope open only to be welcomed by several folded papers brimming at the edge of the torn covering. Jungwon got her used to the underlined phrases and pieces of quotes, and almost nothing from Jungwon’s heart itself. And now suddenly, all the letters were about her, from the depths of her lover’s affection.

“Be still, my heart.” She whispered under her shaky breath.

My dearest Y/n,

We made quite a mess, don’t you think? Or rather, I did.

When I didn’t react to your efforts of reaching out,

I'm sure you thought I'd gone on or despised you.

I bet it never ever occurred to you that I just couldn’t

bring myself to say "hello" and risk another goodbye.

You wore your best dress that day we departed,

and you were there to watch me leave.

And all the times you let me in just for me to screw things up and leave again.

I’ve been trying to undo what I did to you by making amends.

I’m trying so hard, believe me.

Everything I said in the past and the phrases I underlined in attempts to confess to you,

They were all true.

I cannot stop thinking of you, my thoughts of you never end.

They’re so loud they prevent me from sleeping at night.

I’ve been restlessly rehearsing the words I’d tell you if time didn’t forbid.

But unfortunately, it appears that my time in your heart is up.

Truth be told, we were something, don’t you think?

I cannot shrug away the thought that we were nothing when

I could feel your calm breath against my heaving chest,

It felt like you were meant to reside there, in the warmth of my embrace.

I’m afraid I couldn’t bear myself to write more of these.

They don’t deserve to be kept in any longer.

If you still wish to talk to me and hear me out before giving your hand away,

Meet me in the Queen’s Garden at dusk tomorrow.

Jay has agreed to chaperone you there,

But he must leave us to ourselves when we reach the Catalpa tree.

Until then, I will remain in the state of waiting, for the last time.

— Forever yours, Jungwon

The awaited dusk came upon, and it was a shocker for Y/n that she rejected Sunghoon’s plea to spend the day together over an impulsive meeting with Jungwon. Jay helped lift his sister from the horse, firmly securing his grip on her corseted waist. Her heart was in a weary state; she feared it would be a cycle again of Jungwon acting out his affection and leaving her hanging when their moment’s up. She couldn’t trust him fully anymore, knowing he had recklessly wasted so much borrowed time and promises.

“Are you sure you’ll be fine? I can stay by the gazebo and wait for you.”

“It’s alright, Jay. Didn’t he promise you that he’d send me home? Ride safe, brother!”

Jay walked closer to her and draped his arm around her shoulder, planting a long, soft kiss on the crown of her head. “See you at home, sis.”

Y/n heaved a deep breath before taking baby steps towards the Catalpa tree where Jungwon had been lounging hours prior. With a heavy heart and romantic complications in mind, she stood in front of the lover she forced herself to detest; eyes never leaving his.

But Jungwon, being easily distracted by her tantalizing eyes, quickly averted his gaze to the grass he had been standing on. His confident stance stripped away though he mustered the courage to look at the beautiful pair, as the object of his affection gradually approached him.

“Why didn’t you come and talk to me yourself?”

“Would you have listened?” Y/n ran out of retorts as she was guilty enough, cutting Jungwon’s explanations that night in their garden.

The boy drew closer to her, softly lifting her resting hand to interlock it with his. “Y/n…” only to be shrugged away by the maiden.

“You must have gone crazy, coming here like this. Tell me, are you that desperate to impel your pride-”

“This is not about my pride! I-” Jungwon ran a hand through his hair as he let out a frustrated sigh, realizing what he just did. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to raise my voice. It upsets me to know that you still think this is all for my ego, supposing you’ve read the letters I left you.”

“So you’ve been living in denial all these years?”

“I never meant to come between you and him.”

“Yet here we are. Someone’s caught in the middle, and it’s definitely not you, Jung.” The boy stared down at his worn-out boots, million-dollar thoughts running through his mind, yet he couldn’t find the ones he needed to say.

“Do you want me to start it off for you?” Y/n crossed her arms, trying her best to compose a cold approach to Jungwon, although the chap’s been looking unkempt like he hasn’t slept for days in every passing minute of their imminent bickering.

“Haven’t you gotten the letters?”

“I did.”

“Is there anything you want to say about it?” Y/n scoffed at the timid boy who was shattered by the lady’s callousness.

“You asked me to come here, Jungwon! All this time you’ve said nothing but a few words to me. Are you even serious right now?” She half-yelled in frustration.

“I’m trying to prevent myself from saying the wrong things.”

“You’ve barely been able to look me in the eye!”

“For the reason that I cannot bear witness to the misery I’ve caused you!”

Y/n gulped when she saw a tear grazing down Jungwon’s dimpled cheek. It was the first time she’d seen him cry in a long time, the last one being the day he left her for university five years ago.

“It pains me,” he stammered, breaths shaky as tears kept dripping down the grassy lawn. “It pains me to know that I’ve yet again, caused you another heartache. If there was anything I could do to bring back the hands of time, I would. I would do it in a heartbeat. If I could go back to when we were thirteen, on the exact day I left you for London, I would vow to you then and there that I will spend every lifetime with you when I get back.” Jungwon went on and on, eyes now fixated upon her sparkling orbs that reflected the full moon above them.

“But I was a stubborn, scared, idle bloke who’s now deserving of punishment. It’s long overdue, but I still think I deserve this, and I’m sorry. I’m tremendously sorry that it took your beautiful marquess to be caught in the middle of our mess for me to realize that you were my all and more. You are my all and more, Y/n. I couldn’t bear this any longer. My feelings will not be silenced this time, and I must let you hear of how I truly, madly, and deeply love you now more than ever. I’d hate myself for eternity if it came to the conclusion of having to lose the one real thing I’ve ever hoped for in this lifetime. If the mighty heavens don’t forbid us to love again, I swear I’d love you right.”

“Why are you telling me this now? You had all the chances, Jung. Why did it have to be in the most unsuitable moment where Mother and the Duke are preparing for the imminent wedding?!”

“Sometimes you don’t fully know the answer until someone’s breaking badly in front of you. I’m sorry, Y/n. But I’m here now, in all my glory, swallowing my pride, and laying my armor down if you choose to rather love than fight.”

Jungwon approached her. Too close until an inch of distance was left between them. His eyes had been watering with tears the entire time he was rambling his feelings, but he wiped her glistening tears away instead, bearing in mind that he’s making up for lost times. His face was mere inches away from hers, breaths fanning against each other as Y/n sniffs lightly with Jungwon’s nose bumping against hers.

“I love you, Y/n. My longing for you aches like piled-up bricks pushed against my chest, as my love for you burns, heavily and passionately, like a thousand suns set ablaze right before our very eyes. My heart is, and always will be, yours. You’ve imparted me this quote once from a book you found scattered around my room. ‘Only the deepest love will persuade me into matrimony’ and I had carved it into the depths of my soul, putting myself under the commitment of being worthy of your choice. I grew confident because I know you love me truly more than him.”

Jungwon raised her flimsy hand and kissed it with much intent before placing it around his shoulders and having his hand rest on the small of her back. With his other hand hanging freely to his side, he lifted it up to graze his gentle fingers upon the lady’s soft cheek, carefully taking in her satisfied reaction to his touch as she kept her eyes closed and her lips parted. Jungwon pulled her chin up with his forefinger, his thumb softly pinching it in the aftermath. He brushes his nose against hers, bathing in each other’s warmth and shy touches, bodies electric.

“Marry me.”

Y/n shoots a concerned look at Jungwon, “but what about Lady Choi? I thought you two-”

“No one else could make me the happiest man in this world, Y/n, no one but you.” Jungwon wasted no time and crashed his lips against hers. First, and long-awaited kisses are finally shared under the illuminating beam of the fullest moon of the year. The gent tilts his head to the side, gaining more access to the lady’s lips as Y/n heaves a deep breath, slowly taking in his upper lip within hers.

He pulls away mere seconds after to get some oxygen into his system while taking the opportunity to continue his unrehearsed proposal. “My heart will only rest in yours. Marry me, Y/n, will you?”

The lady buried her face against his chest that was clad in blue, velvety frock coat adorned with gold embroidery upon its hems. She sniffed his immaculate scent in before letting out muffled whispers. “Give me time to reflect on it. Only then will I give you my answer.”

“Time, of course. As much as you need, my love.” Jungwon gave her a quick and final kiss on the lips before freeing her from his embrace. “I must get you home now. Your mother would be frantic if she knew you were frolicking around with me while she worries about your wedding plans with Sunghoon.”

“Don’t say that. He hasn’t proposed to me yet.”

“But when he does, I’m certain your mother won’t pass up the chance.”

Y/n kissed him back. Fleeting, but full of love. “It’s me who’s getting married, Jung, not her.”

“I love you.”

“You’ve said it already.”

“I will say it again if I have to.” Y/n chuckles lightly, feeling relieved now that Jungwon has trampled down the barriers preventing them from transparency.

The gent lifts her up to his white horse before following after. He instantly took hold of her hands and had them wrapped around his small waist. “Hold on tight. We’re past my promised hour so I’m going to have to speed up, okay?” Y/n didn’t say anything, instead, she hugged Jungwon tightly by the waist and snurfled her cheek against his back. It was enough affirmation for him, so he yanked the thick rope, revving his horse on the cobblestones on their way home.

*send me an ask or a message if you wish to be added on this series’ taglist!

ㅡ © ENHA-WOODZIES, 2021

#kpopscape #enhypenwriters #enhypennetwork #neothestars #of lords & mischiefs #enhypen angst #enhypen fluff #enhypen imagines #enhypen fics #enhypen series #enhypen jungwon #enhypen heeseung #enhypen jay #enhypen jake #enhypen sunghoon #enhypen sunoo #enhypen niki #iland daniel

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jjmorelikeotp · 4 years ago

Text

What thing? What type?

Seongjoong college au?? Ft. Wooyoung; ONESHOT 😚 no warnings, humor ig

Yeah idk where that came from, I'm in my seongjoong feelz, mingi is back, I love woo, anyways besties enjoyyyyy ✌ also just in case anyone is still waiting for the promised minsung au! It is in the making!

"I cannot believe they've put all of that into one exam!", Wooyoung cries out, knuckles turning white around the strings of his backpack."Like, what am I - a robot?!"

"Maybe if you started studying earlier, you wouldn't have that much stress now."

"Nobody ever does that!"

They're on their way from the student dorms to Hongjoong's apartment - not for the first time, but this time, Seonghwa's car is standing in the parking lot.

"Oooh", Wooyoung makes. Your hot roomie finally home for once?"

"God, I wish I never told you that."

"But you diiiid", the younger cheers, wrapping his arm around Hongjoong's neck only to pull him down with his full body weight, making him groan.

With work, university and producing his tracks, the dorms weren't an option for Hongjoong anymore. Too loud, too smelly, too...first semester vibey. So, he saved up, worked through vacations and even during normal periods - and voila. His own, tiny, little room, a living room, a CLEAN bathroom he doesn't have to share with 727272 people, simply put : heaven. Sure, he might be a little tighter on budget now, but at least he was able to remain his sanity, and that's a win.

The apartment is not that cheap; sharing it makes it easier. And with Seonghwa, a business major in his 3rd year, it was a good catch.

He's nice, friendly, tidy - too tidy if you ask Hongjoong, especially when he is bitching about the coffee mugs in the sink, like, who the hell cares - but he is also very, very pretty, and caring, and that, ladies and gentlemen, isn't a good thing, at least not to his heart because he is - well, in some cases of being near him, and especially when Seonghwa smells good, becomes - the definition of a useless gay.

That's how bad it actually is, but luckily, only Yunho knows that.

For the rest of his friends, the older is just known as "hot".

Which is also very, very true.

"Hey!", Hongjoong shouts, tossing his keys onto the shelf next to the door.

Seonghwa is busy watering the plants. "Ah, hey! How was your scenery project?"

"Good, good!"

"What, this is it?", Wooyoung hisses, taking off his jacket. He pinches the older's waist. "If I called your storyboarding a scenery project you would have behaded me."

"Well you are a brat", Hongjoong whispers back, to which the younger only rolls his eyes, only to add a louder "brought someone with me today. Seonghwa, this is Wooyoung."

"HEEEYYYY", Wooyoung gives him a wave and earns a chuckle. "Nice to finally meet you, you know, Hongjoong always talks about his infamous roommate."

I'm going to kill that kid.

"Ah, really?" Seonghwa shoots him a glance, and he can't read an expression from it before it's already gone. "He talks about his friends too." Hee points at Woo with the water in his hands. "I'm guessing you are the loud one?"

"He is", Hongjoong quickly states before the younger has enough time to answer. "And you're just here to pick some notes up, c'mon. I got things to do."

With that, he pulls him into his room.

"What, you're not even inviting me for dinner?", Wooyoung says fifteen minutes later as he is getting dragged out by his friend.

"Exactly. You're a vaccuum when it comes to food, and I'm broke."

"You're mean, that's what you are-"

"Yeah, yeah, you're gonna survive it."

He somehow managed to get the boy into door-and-floor-space; he knows how long it can take to get him actually past the frame.

"Now go home and study. And use the notes!"

"You know I would be better off if you helped me study!"

"I got my own stuff to do."

"We could study together."

"I will clean my desk now. Go ask San!"

He sighs at the whine the younger lets out.

"Yah, hyung, you're really no fun. You don't even care about me or my grades."

"I literally just gave you all my notes."

"Yeah, but you got a monster brain and I don't understand them-"

A soft giggle makes them both turn around.

Seonghwa is done with the plants - he now seems to be cleaning the dining table, and for that, he's taken off his hoodie.

The tshirt he's wearing is white, a perfect match to his skin. His tan, muscular arms flex lightly at his movements.

"Huh." Wooyoung stares for a moment, tilting his head.

"Hongjoong hyung?"

"Hm?"

"You know the thing...you told me earlier?"

"The thing? I-what thing?"

"That thing."

"Oh. Yeah. Let me guess. You get my point now?"

"Definetely. Yeah."

Hongjoong leans onto Wooyoung's shoulder with one arm.

Four eyes are on Seongwha, who is painfully oblivious, probably not even listening. He's holding a can in his hands.

"Juice, anyone?"

"He's kinda like a mum. You're kinda like a mum, Seonghwa."

"I-what?"

"That's his way of giving somebody nicknames, I think. Either that or he's got both mommy and daddy issues. He told me I sound like a dad-"

He coughs away the pain as the younger smacks his stomach; for a moment, Seonghwa's eyes are on him.

"You know, hyung, I agree with you", Wooyoung says right before he's out the door, getting his revenge. "Your roommate is hot, you were right about that."

Snitch.

Hongjoong, however, did not expect anything less. He deals with it the way he always deals with pretty boys : joking about it until it hurts because he doesn't stand a chance anyway, vibing in the frequency of an awkward wave.

Hakuna matata.

"I know I am - I'm always right!", he shouts after the younger friend although the door is already closed.

Just be shameless, nobody knows you're dying of embarassment until you show it.

And maybe he is a little competitive as well. Maybe.

He doesn't even look at the older; he plays it off with a soft chuckle, focusing his attention back on his desk that, he must admit, looks like a battle field of supplies. Brushes, pencils, notes, papers, folders - a cup of coffee here, a computer mouse there. Sweet sweet college life.

It's quiet around him, nothing unusual, Seonghwa is a calm person after all. If he's honest, Hongjoong is glad to have found a roommate like him. (If only he wasn't so handsome that it's hard, like, really hard, to focus. He can't complain though.)

The weird knot in his chest forces him to go against his anxiety and look up. He meets Seonghwa's eyes immediately.

Again.

"What?", he asks, breathing out a laugh that - he hopes sincerely - doesn't sound nervous.

"He just gave you a compliment, that's Wooyoung for you."

"Mhm", Seonghwa makes.

"Aw, are you getting shy? Don't you know how to handle a compliment?"

A light hint of pink appears on the older's cheeks, which is weird because at the same time, he's furrowing his brows. Hongjoong wishes he didn't enjoy teasing him so much.

(Spoiler alert: not really.)

"What? No-"

He grins.

Cute.

He might be smiling through the pain when it comes to the next comment, but hey - Nobody has to know. (How would they know?)

"Is it because he's pretty? Is he your type?"

That's how you do it. Just drop hints and make him date another dude, to cope with the fact that you might develope an unhealthy crush on your roommate and don't stand a chance.

Hah!

But who would do such a thing, not Hongjoong.

Obviously.

"He's a really great guy", he cheerfully adds, focusing on his organization again. "A little loud, but maybe that's a match. I could totally set you guys up."

He doesn't even know what paper he has in his hands.

"Well, yeah", a deep voice suddenly murmurs in his ear and he nearly jumps.

Seonghwa is standing right in front of him.

"You could do that...but", he inhales softly, grabbing a pastel pink pen from the tornado of chaos Hongjoong calls his work place. It's got a little plastic strawberry on its tip.

"He's not really my type."

And then, almost like a whisper, and a lot closer to his ear, he just says: "You are."

And then he leaves, letting Hongjoong alone in the living room, with the words "I think that's my pen, thanks", and Hongjoong just stares at the wall.

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elles-writing · 4 years ago

Text

The Sounds of Home - Kili x reader

Kili x reader

Requested: Yes, by @terri205

Request: Hello there - I read one of your previous posts about taking requests so here i am asking for a drabble or oneshot with some domestic life / husband x wife with children with Kili even though his character died I really cannot get over him. Hope you are still writing for him . ( dwarf x human if that helps .. also can the height difference be erased for now ? Yk Aidan is a tall boy 😁🙃 ) wish you having a great day!

Word count: around 3k

A/N: Of course!! I write a lot for Kili, because I feel like there’s not a lot of fanfics for him, that people actually think more of Fili and Thorin, but hey, this little cute pup needs love too! (Just like Lindir. He’s also adorable.) And I’ve red somewhere on Pinterest that Thorin is actually tall 5′2 ft, which is like only solid 2 inches smaller than me (okay, I’m barely 5′4 ft)!! And Kili’s only a bit smaller than Thorin!! I’ll look for that picture and if I find it, i’ll put it here.

A/N II: I feel like my writting sucks at most of this one, I’m so sorry! I wanted it to be much, much better, but I just somehow don’t really know how to rewrite it, so I’m posting it anyways. I want to write something similar in the future, so I’ll tag you to it.

A/N III: I wrote some extra part and edited it, so now I can say I’m quite happy with it!

Tw: pregnancy, mentions of sex

Okay, so here it is. I found it on pinterest, but it’s from tumblr @richardarmitagequotes . Here is the link to it.

Playlist you don’t have to listen, but I was writting during listening to these songs: Taylor Swift - cartigan, Taylor Swift - exile, The Chainsmokers - Paris, Porcelain Black - One Woman Army, Taylor Swift - august,

It was such a long time ago when did this happened...

This was how you started your children’s bedtime story, which was their favourite - it was the story of how did their parents - you and Kili - have met and long adventure that was avaiting behind them to reclaim Erebor. About you, a young human girl, who was curious and wanted to see the world, and him, young dwarf prince, who wanted to help to reclaim his home again. And surely wasn’t counting on finding love, but yet you were here - Kili, you and your children - living in a cottage a bit aside from Erebor and Dale.

It was a sunny day, you and your children working at the garden. You were in the middle of placing tomatoes to your handbasket, when a loud scream came to your ears. You looked up and sighed at the sight of your son scaring your daughter with earthworm on a stick, which was moving around.

“Vili, stop scaring Ainiel with that earthworm. Go back to taking out the carrots out, alright? And let Ainiel to pick the berries.” Your son shook his head and went back to taking out the carrots, putting the earthworm to his hand and mumbling something to it before putting it back to the hole, where was one big carrot before.

You looked at him by the corner of your eye. He has the same hair as his father, face features, very similar personality, the only thing was his eyes - they were brown with slight e/c in them. Your daughter has gotten her father’s hair texture, face shape and a bit of his joking personality, but from you she’ve gotten her bookworm-self, able to read all day, and thinking carefully about things. Otherwise, she would be your dupe.

You looked over to your youngest child - your second daughter, who was sitting in the grass and creating a flower tiara from daisies. When she was done, she jumped up and with squealing runned to her sister and putted the tiara on her head. She let out a bubbly laugh, as toddlers do, and runned to you.

“Mama, Ainiel is a princess! I am a princess! Mama is a princess!” And placed flowery tiara she finished earlier in your hair. You smiled and she sat down to you, looking up to sky.

“Is there going to be a storm?” You looked up and noticed the dark clouds, quickly approaching. You took your youngest daughter to your arms, your basket hanging from your forearm.

“Vili, take the carrots, Ainiel, take the basket with berries, Lila...” you looked in the toddler’s eyes.

“Hold your tiara, dearie.” You looked over the garden and noticed movement on the other side of the garden on your backyard. Then someting let out a ‘meow’.

It’s probably just some cat, you thought when a typical little furry tale glimpsed through the grass. It wasn’t unusual for cats to be wondering around your house, since in a Dale many people were having cats as pets.

When you were inside, a hard rain started. You sighed out, placed Lila and the basket with tomatoes down in the kitchen, and went over to fireplace to start a fire.

Once the room was filled with warm light and sound of cracking wood, your children started with washing and clearing the vegetables. Vili and Ainiel only, because Lila was sitting on the chair cuddled in blanket. She was afraid of thunders and storms, and even though there was no thunder, there was sometimes a lightning across the sky and she squealed and jumped up.

You made a luke-warm tea for Lila and while she was sipping it, you were cutting the vegetables and meat and cooking stew.

Once the meal was done, you looked out through the window. It was raining really hard still, so you decided to take your children and cuddle behind the fireplace with tea and either read to them or tell them some story.

Once you and your children sat down, blankets were all over the place and Vili and Lila fighting over one of them.

“Lila, give it to me, you have it all the time!”

“No, I want it! Give it to me!” Vili teared out the blanket from her hands and she squealed when she fell down. She started sobbing and then vailing. Vili’s eyebrows furrowed and he kneeled down to her.

“I’m so sorry, Lila, I didn’t wanted to hurt you! Look, you can take the bla-” She teared the blanket from his hands and stick out her tongue on him. He was surprised and inhaled, but Lila jumped on him and started beating his chest by her little fists.

“I’m as strong as you!” Vili squealed when she took his hair and started to pulling them. You quickly took her off of him, careful not to pull his hair more, but a few of them stayed in your daughter’s grasp.

“You’re getting way too energetic, young lady. What’s all this about?” You sat down and she was sitting in your lap.

“He wanted to take my blanket and I fell down.” She didn’t dared to look up at you.

“It’s because the two men in Dale two weeks ago were doing this?” She mumbled a response and you shook your head.

“Lila, that’s not how you are supposed to solve problems. First, you need to talk about it. Don’t be that-” then a loud thunder and sharp lightning scrossed the sky and Lila squeaked.

“M-momma, I’m so afraid!” She nuzzled to your chest and you wrapped a blanket around the two of you. Vili and Ainiel sat next to you, wrapped in blankets.

“Will you tell us the story, momma?” Ainiel asked you, breaking the silence. A slight smile stretched your lips.

“You already know that one backwards.”

“That’s not true, I cannot say it backwards!” Vili protested and Ainiel shook her head.

“That means we already know it really well, you dumb dwarf.” Lila let out a laugh.

“Will you tell us the part with Master Baggin’s home? The beginning?” Vili made a pleading puppy look, that he surely got from his father, and you sighed.

“Okay.”

“And that one when you confessed your love?” Ainiel asked. You smiled and nodded.

“I will. So, I came here with Balin, and I didn’t wanted to be rude, because, as you know, hobbits are peaceful beings and they don’t like when someone is rude, so I just sat aside. Then, there was another knock on the door, and I told him I will open. I opened the door, and there were two young dwarves, one with blonde hair and blue eyes and the other one with dark hair and brown eyes. Me and the younger one froze in spot and the whole Shire must’ve hear us, because we both screamed: ‘YOU?!’. It was that dwarf I saved from two orcs and kicked his butt before, calling him very...spicy names for doing such a stupid thing.”

“How did you called him?” Vili pleated. You’ve never told them, that first words adressed from you to their father were ‘What were you thinking, you fucking fool?! Two big orcs twice your size?! If I wouldn’t save you, you would be dead by now!’.

It was a few days since you’ve left your home for an adventure, where Gandalf invited you.

You were thankful to the few of dwarves that lived near the village you’ve lived in, whom teached your father how to fight, which he teached you. You could get a few nice hours of sleep at night, because you didn’t have to worry about not being able to defend yourself.

The next day, around a down, settling down your things to prepare for a camp, a loud scream cutted the silence. You looked up. It sounded as if somebody needed a help.

You quickly and as quietly as you could, runned to that spot. You looked through the bushes and noticed somebody - a male - trying to fight with two orcs double size of him. One of them was holding his leg, the other one his arm and he was trying to fight with them, but you assumed they took his weapons, since he had nothing but a dagger. You quickly let out an arrow, which went straight through orc’s head, and he fell dead. You jumped out of your hiding spot and the other one chuckled darkly in black speech. You growled and jumped aside when he was trying to catch you. He tried to stab you with his sword, but you were way too quick. You jumped up at tree stump and stabbed him by your sword in it’s back. The orc fell dead, down to the ground.

You looked over to that male - a dwarf, you thought, because of his ears and he was as tall as you - and he was staring at you with awe in his eyes. Adrenalin was still in you from the fight in your veins and you got angry.

“What were you thinking, you fucking fool?! Two big orcs twice your size?! If I wouldn’t save you, you would be dead by now!” He snapped from his expression and quickly started gathering his weapons.

“I didn’t needed help, you know?! I could-I would be able to win over them!” You snorted in very un-lady like way while taking out your sword and arrow.

“Of course, but before that, you would be their dinner.” You looked over your shoulder and shook your head. No. He has just stupid brown puppy eyes.

“That’s not true!” He got angry, slightely offended. You smirked.

“All right then. You’d be their midnight snack.” You chuckled when noticed his face to redden and looked away to get to your place where you wanted to camp.

You couldn’t stop thinking about that man since then. And your angry behaviour, which you were quite sorry for.

“That’s not appropiate for your ears, children. So, where did I ended? Oh, I know!” Vili and Ainiel shimmed closer to you.

“Then, the blonde one looked at both of us and asked: ‘Where do you know each other from?’. The brown-haired muttered something under his breath and I sighed. ‘I didn’t wanted to be so rude, you know?’ He looked up at me, eyes wide, mouth slightely open and cheeks red. I got into house and...who do you think was that?” You asked your children and Ainiel, the quick thinker, was first one to answer that.

“Uncle Fili and Adad, mommy!” She grinned and you stroke her hair.

“Excellent. Now-” You inhaled to talk again, but Ainiel interrupted you.

“Now the wedding, mommy! How was the wedding? Was it big? Was it beautiful?” Her face lighted up in happiness, that was her favourite part. Vili just snorted.

“Girls. Why the wedding? It’s so boring!” You chuckled.

“One day you will find your own significant other and you won’t be snorting at the mention of weddings, because you will be the eager one to plan it all out.” Said voice behind you. You and your children turned around and found your soaking-wet, but madly-grinning husband. Vili squealed, excited, and while trying to get to him, be tripped over his own legs and blanket and landed at the floor. Lila’s fluttered open and she yawned as she woke up from her slumber, and once she noticed her father, she squealed in joy and tried to get to him, her arms opened for a hug.

“Adad! You’re home!” He picked Vili up from the floor and with a grin on his face, he picked up Lila too and spun them around. The sight of him with your children, his face lighted up with joy and absolute adoration for them was a thing that made you to appreciate every single moment like that you had.

Kili placed his two children to the ground, and even if all three of them were wet now, they didn’t really cared. You stood up.

“Now, I see, you are ready to change in something dry.” Kili looked over to Vili and Lila.

“Who’s going to be the first one changed, gets the most cookies!” Before you could even blink, Vili and Lila were already rushing to their rooms to change, and Kili went to your bedroom to change, too.

Ainiel turned to you.

“What about the wedding, mommy? How was it?” You sat down to her.

“So, at first, it was before the battle of five armies. Me and your father, your uncle, nobody knew if we will survive, so we decided to do it without unnecessary formalities. We just changed vows, gifts, kissed and braided each other’s hair.” And lost our virginities that night.

“After the battle and when Dale and Erebor was rebuilded, we got married with all of the formalities that are necessary in royal family. It was a big and eventful wedding, very loud, too. Something like celebration on Durin’s Day, but three times louder, with more dancing.” She nodded with a serious expression.

* Extra *

After the dinner (and promised cookies, which got Vili and Lila) and when your children went to sleep, you and Kili stayed together in the living room, cuddled under a blanket.

„How was your day, amralime?“ You asked him while making circles inside his palm. Kili softly kissed the top of your head.

„Uneventful and boring, givanshel. Meeting got longer today, and thanks to the storm, I was even more late than I would be. How was today for you, my precious queen?�� You felt his hand lazily making circles over the fabric on your stomach and smiled.

„Just like any other day, my dear husband. Two out of our three children took their personality after you, making every day an adventure,“ He softly chuckled and kissed your temple from the back.

„It all started with one adventure,“ He said in a low voice. You sighed softly.

„Yes, indeed it did. But I saved your butt before that adventure,“ His fingers started to make way to your hips and sides.

„Of course, my dear wife,“ He started tickling you, and you tried to giggle as quietly as possible to not to wake the children. You turned around, so you now faced Kili and sat on his lap. You kissed his nose, then his lips, and he smiled to the kiss. He pulled you closer.

„Mhmm, amralime,“ He whispered when you pulled away for air. You pushed a few strands of his hair out of his face, looking deep to his loving brown eyes

„You should go to sleep. You are tired,“ You said. He raised a brow.

„I can stay awake as long as you’d like me to.“ His eyes got that mischievous spark you knew way too well.

„I may be in love with you, but you cannot fool me, my precious prince.“ You kissed his cheek softly.

„So you want to say you’d turn down an opportunity for making love on the floor, or just right here, right now?“ You gasped and punched his shoulder softly.

„Kili!“ His sparkling eyes were watching you, while his lips tugged up into a smirk.

„You didn’t minded that when we moved in,“ He winked at you and your cheeks burned red.

„You’re right,“ You muttered and he laughed.

„But I wanted to talk to you about something...something else,“ You nervously rubbed your hands together. He furrowed his brows and cupped your cheek in his palm, making you to look at him.

„What’s wrong, Amralime?“ You felt his body tense. He was fully awake, and you just shook your head with a small smile.

„Nothing is wrong.“

„What is it, then?“ You placed his palm to your stomach. Kili’s eyes widened in realization, experiencing this for the fourth time.

„Are you-are you really-do you mean-?“ You slowly nodded.

„Around a week,“ A grin stretched across his lips and he took you to his arms, kissing your whole face, dancing around your living room.

„We’re going to have another baby, I cannot-oh Mahal, I can’t believe that!“ He kissed your lips with a smile.

„You need to rest, givanshel.“ He started walking towards your bedroom.

„I can walk on my own, Kili.“ You laughed and he kissed your temple as he kicked the door to your bedroom open.

„Well, you need to rest a lot now, so no walking for you, my love.“ He placed you down to your shared bed and you giggled.

„I need to walk at some point. Who will cook?“ Kili kicked off his boots and laid to you, placing you to his chest and resting his palm on your still flat belly. He kissed your temple and blinked, so he wouldn’t start crying out of pure happiness.

„You know how it ended up every time you ever tried to cook,“ You reminded him and he grimaced.

„Oh, c’mon amralime, I’m not that bad at cooking!“

„You cutted yourself while cutting the vegetables and then burned the soup.“

„Oh hush amralime,“ He muttered and you laughed.

„Amad was giving me a cooking lessons,“ He blurted out suddenly. You raised a brow and turned to him.

„When we were over for Durin’s day last year. Well, rather Amad was teaching me, while Lila and Ainiel were watching over the kitchens in general, and Vili, well,“ He looked sleepishly down on you.

„Vili was messing around with Fili,“ You rolled your eyes.

„I’ve noticed them, of course. I’m glad Erebor is still standing,“ You both chuckled and he started rubbing small circles on your belly. You sighed and hugged your husband closer. He kissed your forehead.

„Sleep, Amralime. You need to rest.“

„You too, Amralime. Good night.“

„Good night, my princess.“

#kili x reader #kili x you #kili #the hobbit fanfiction #the hobbit x reader #the hobbit au #kili durin #kili-x-reader #request

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marveloussupernerd · 4 years ago

Note

im going to come thru and request one of your holiday prompts!! please do jumin saying number twelve 💀💀 but like it’s the penthouse

Christmas Lights and Bruises - Jumin Han

This is from my Christmas prompt list , requests are currently open so feel free to request :)

Prompt: “I fell off the roof putting up Christmas lights”

Summary: Jumin really wanted you to have the best Christmas ever. If that meant he got a few bruises along the way... well... that was okay by him

FIRST OF ALL after a Google search: a fall from over 50 ft will almost def kill u and Jumin lives on the eighth floor at least (80 ft up min) so he would die. I’m not trying to kill him SO we’re just gonna say that the penthouse ceilings are high and he had to use a ladder to line the ceiling w lights

ANYWAYS ty for requesting bb I love you and literally everyone has requested seven for these prompts but you ? Just saying this is like everyone else erasure (no h8 to those requested seven tho :))

You were going to go for a nice day out while Jumin finished up some work at the home office. He didn’t have too too much, but he still sent you to the hairdressers because you were in need of a cut, and he wanted to get your nails done too while you were at it. You opted for the cut first.

Christmas was only in a few more weeks; you were so excited! This was your first Christmas with Jumin by your side (more notably as your HUSBAND by your side), so you wanted to make it special. The past few Christmases had been meh for you so you really wanted to make this one fun. You had already ordered his present and it was on its way. Soon you wanted to put the tree up too!

You hadn’t opted to get too too much off for your haircut, a little over an inch (2.5 cm) or so, but you were still excited to have it look all nice and fancy. Plus the hairdresser was always soothing. After she had washed your hair you made you way over to the seat to start the cut.

Not even half your head cut later and you were getting a phone call from one of the building’s security guards. He knew where you were at the moment so you figured it was important. You asked your hairstylist to wait a moment then picked up the call. “This is Mrs. Han.”

“I’m so glad I got a hold of you. Uh, your husband has had a fall...”

“A fall? Is he okay?” Your hairdresser raised her eyebrow.

“He refuses to lay down and rest. I swear I heard something crack so I called the doctor...” he sounded concerned.

“Alright. I’m on my way.” You took off the cape and stood up, hair still wet and half-cut. “I’ve got to go. Can we finish this later?”

With all the money she was getting paid? Of course she wouldn’t say no. She nodded and wished you the best. You flung on your heavy coat and headed out.

“Would you like me to send Driver Kim?” The guard asked.

“That won’t be necessary. I’m only a few blocks away. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

You hightailed it to the penthouse. How did he fall!? He was supposed to be working. Your face was cold; it was below freezing out and your wet hair certainly wasn’t helping. Maybe you should have brought a scarf.

You rushed into the building, heading up to the penthouse floor and to the front door. The security guards were waiting for you. “Mrs Han.” They greeted you, standing at attention.

“Is he okay? Where is he?” You questioned.

“He’s likely at his desk right now, Ma’am. The doctor should be here in about 15 minutes.”

You rushed through the door, not bothering to take off your coat (you were cold enough already granted) and rushed to the office, knocking before opening the door immediately.

Jumin was at his desk, typing away at his computer. He looked up to you and smiled, then winced. “You’re home early.”

“Jumin!” You rushed by his side, kneeling next to him. “Are you okay? You had me worried.”

“Oh,” he waved his hand to disregard what had happened. “You heard about that. I’m fine.”

“You don’t have to be strong around me,” you cupped his cheek in your hands. “Won’t you lay down until the doctor gets here?”

He sighed. “I suppose if you’d like me to.”

You grabbed his arm as he stood up, carefully guiding him to bed. “Would you care to tell me how you fell?”

“Well... I might as well since you’re about to find out anyways. I... fell off the roof putting up Christmas lights.” He sounded dejected. You helped sit him down gently in bed.

“The roof!? Jumin we’re on like the eighth floor!?” You were shouting. You were just so shocked.

“Oh... not the roof. The... ceiling? I tried to line the ceiling with Christmas lights for you in the living room. But... I fell off the ladder.” You pulled the blanket over him.

“Oh Baby,” you stroked some of the hair out of his face. “You didn’t have to put those up. We can pay someone to put those up.”

“But... I know how much you love Christmas and I wanted to make it extra special for you.”

“I know. I bet it looks great,” you kissed his cheek.

“Not really... the lights are hanging around only half lit up.

“Well I’m proud of you anyway. Now where does it hurt?”

He looked kind of uneasy, as though he still didn’t want you to know how much it hurt. He had a tight frown on his face. “My... chest. I don’t know. Right here?” He pointed under his chest. Men were never very good at injuries, huh.

“Your ribs? We’ll have the doctor check them out. You might have a concussion too if you hit your head.” You gently pressed a kiss to his lips. “You’re so sweet. But please, let me help next time. You had me worried sick.” Your eyes were glossy. What a stupid thing to cry over. But you were quite upset. What if he had gotten severely hurt? What if he had actually tried to do this outside?

“Okay. But I’m okay, alright?” He reached forward slightly to unbutton your winter coat, pushing it off your shoulders. “Oh my,” he muttered under his breath.

“Oh my what?” Your voice was just as soft to match his.

“Your hair... has looked better. I thought I had paid to have it done.” His hand reached out to touch your hair, a crunching sound being made as soon as he touched it.

“Oh, it probably froze. I, uh, left as soon as I heard. She only had time to cut half of it. But, I’ll get it done later! So long as you’re okay. You know, I can actually just have them come here so I can stay with you if you-“

“Honey,” he cut you off. You looked back at him. He had a warm smile on his face. “It’s okay. I’m okay.”

“I’ll make you some tea while we wait for the doctor. He should be here any minute though.” You stood from your spot, but Jumin caught your wrist before you could leave.

“Stay here with me. Call the Chef to make tea or something. I just... want you here for now.” His eyes looked sleepy. How could you refuse? You sat down on the side of the bed, shifting so you could stroke his hair. He shut his eyes as you waited.

The doctor said he had bruised a rib. He probably also had a minor concussion and should rest as much as possible and avoid stressful work. He clearly didn’t know Jumin. Still, you’d try your best to keep him resting for the next few days. He lived and worked in such a fast-paced environment that the doctor worried any work could set him off and make his conditions worse.

“Watch Christmas movies with me?” You asked, after the doctor had left. You had put your hair up so that you didn’t have to look at it, half-cut, every time you passed a mirror. If the hairdresser didn’t get here soon you’d cut it yourself. It was that annoying. Still, for the sake of Jumin, you tried to ignore it.

“I haven’t seen very many,” he commented, eyes locked on you as you climbed into bed, pajamas and fuzzy socks on. “Christmas movies.”

“For real!?” You took the remote from the bedside table and climbed under the blankets, scooting closer to your husband. He was on his back, head propped up by pillows. He wanted to switch to his side but you wouldn’t let him. It would hurt!

He pulled you closer by the waist until your head was resting on his shoulder. “For real. I’ve only seen... hm... A Christmas Carol. It’s A Wonderful Life...”

“That’s all!?” You moved yourself off his shoulder to look at him in disbelief.

“And Rudolph.”

“That’s still all!? We have so many to watch.”

“But my work-“

“Nope. I’ll arrange for someone else to do it. We have to watch Elf. And The Santa Clause. And Frosty the Snowman. And The Polar Express! And.. so many more!” You snuggled back next to him, using the remote to pull up the first Christmas movie of the night.

He sighed, rolling his eyes playfully.

“I cannot believe you rolled your eyes!” You teased. “What have you done for 27 years without me!? Without these movies!?” He flinched. “Oh! I’m sorry,” you pushed away from him slightly. “I hadn’t realized I was hurting you.”

“No, come back.” He was POUTING. Pouting. You had never seen him pout like that. You didn’t move though. “I don’t mind it.”

You huffed at him.

“Okay.” He scooted closer to you. “If you get on the other side we can cuddle and it won’t hurt. Because it’s my good side. How about that?”

You climbed over him, sitting on his other side, resting your head on his shoulder. “Better?”

“Better,” he sighed. He grabbed your hand in his. “Now start the movie. It seems I have a lot to catch up on!”

With all the movies and excitement and you, how could he possibly go back to work?

Bye writing for Jumin is my element I was so happy writing this. Ik I write for him a lot and if I write for any character too much it’s like blah. But he rlly is my favorite character :) I love him

#mystic messenger #mysme #Jumin han #Christmas

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arlingtonpark · 4 years ago

Text

SNK 138 Review

The moral of this chapter is that the rumbling is all Mikasa’s fault. #truth.

Mikasa loves Eren. She loves, loves, loves him.

Eren’s family brought her into their home and they became her new family. Eren wrapped a scarf around her, and she never forgot that. Mikasa wanted to live a quiet, peaceful life with Eren, and nothing would stop that from coming true.

No matter how many times that suicidal blockhead got into trouble, she’d bail him out. Bullies, titans, warriors. On the street or on the battlefield.

She’s indulged Eren’s pursuit of freedom, but she’s always kept her eyes on what was always on the horizon: a mountain cottage with just her and Eren. Basically her old life but with her new family this time.

It’s what she’s always wanted. It was her wish.

But she failed.

This time, Eren went too far. In multiple meanings of that phrase.

Eren is easily the worse thing to ever happen to humanity. Like, maybe a giant asteroid hitting the planet would be worse, but idk. We saw there were many survivors, but it’s genuinely a question if human civilization can bounce back from this.

The human death toll is only the tip of the iceberg. Food and shelter will be hard to come by. Vital infrastructure is destroyed, so shipping emergency supplies into damaged areas will be impossible. Not just food, but medicine and materials to rebuild. The rumbling also probably ruined a lot of farmland, so there won’t be any food for a long time no matter what. Now consider the environment Eren caused. Many habitats were probably crushed, which means there is a mass dying off of animal life to come. And on and on, deeper and deeper into the abyss.

The whole planet is screwed.

Oh, yeah, and he killed most of his friends.

Not even Mikasa can save Eren from all this.

Mikasa has always clung to the hope of a simple life with Eren, but what she realizes in that vision she has is that there is no hope. Her dreams are dead.

I’ve been very critical of Mikasa for being slow to realize that. She just wasn’t making any progress with accepting Eren needed to die. Every single time it was brought up that they had to kill Eren, Mikasa would react like it’s the first time she’s heard it. Every discussion of that need seemed to bounce right off her.

There was no progress, and as a reader, that was so frustrating. She couldn’t accept it right until the last second. I was so sure Isayama was setting up a scenario where Mikasa failed to let Eren go at the moment of truth, and then she would be the one to get killed.

(Dark? Yeah, but the Earth is ruined, so why the fuck not?)

How Mikasa comes to let go of Eren and her dreams was so beautifully done that I honestly think it makes up for all the thick-headedness we got from her up until now.

The takeaway from Mikasa’s vision is that it’s not real. It’s not her reality. She could have told Eren how she really felt back then, but she didn’t and it’s too late to take it back.

Arguably, it was too late even before they joined the military. Eren’s death was guaranteed when he gained the Attack Titan. Living alone with Eren was always going to last a handful of years.

I think that’s what Mikasa realizes in this sequence. This world where she essentially gets what she wants is not her world. It’s not even a memory she can cherish. It’s what she wants, but cannot have now.

It’s a long dream.

(As far as Mikasa is concerned)

I don’t actually know what this vision is supposed to be exactly. Maybe it’s an alternate reality or a previous reality (ie a timeloop). Maybe Mikasa is seeing this because of Eren or maybe it’s her ackerblood. That can be explained later, but for now, it doesn’t matter.

The point is that Mikasa’s life is cruel, and she needs to focus on what little, minor, insignificant parts of it are beautiful.

It would have been easy to kill Eren in righteous fury. He harmed and killed so many people. I for one am glad he’s dead, and I hope he burns in hell. And I don’t think anyone would’ve been surprised if Mikasa killed him with horrified tears in her eyes. But that’s not what happened.

She killed him with a smile on her face. She killed him as an act of love. I think a big part of why Eren made so many people suffer is that he himself was suffering. The way he saw it, so long as people existed outside the walls, he couldn’t be free, and so long as he wasn’t free, he would struggle endlessly until the day he died. He would never know peace.

That doesn’t make him worthy of anyone’s sympathy, but it does make Mikasa’s slaying of him an act of kindness.

In hindsight, Mikasa was always going to be the one to kill him. She was the only one who’s killing of Eren could be reasonably presented as an act of love.

At last Mikasa has returned Eren’s favor: she wrapped the scarf around him. Just as Eren ended her suffering by taking her in, Mikasa has ended Eren’s suffering by taking his life.

Instead of thinking of all the harm Eren’s caused, Mikasa chose to think of the good he did.

Eren did wrap the scarf around her. What he’s done since does not diminish that kindness. In the time they knew each other, they were in it together, against the titans, and both enemies in the walls and outside it. And they cared about each other.

Is that petty compared to all the people Eren’s killed?

Yes, it is.

If you didn’t know him personally, that is. I’m willing to grant that Mikasa’s relationship with Eren makes her justified in having a unique perspective on him and his actions.

If this vision means anything, it means Eren loved her. What’s sad is that the closest Mikasa will ever get to experiencing that love is kissing his corpse.

But Mikasa isn’t abandoning Eren either. Like in Trost, she accepts that she cannot live with him, but pledges to live on regardless. Eren tells Mikasa to forget about him because apparently he thinks that to move on from him, she has to reject him completely. She has to reject even the memories she has of him.

Mikasa refuses. She even puts the scarf on as she’s preparing to kill him. Like in Trost, she promises to remember Eren even as she moves on from him.

What makes this moment so much more powerful than the one in Trost is that this time Mikasa is the one killing Eren.

I think this chapter cements Mikasa as a person of profound emotional strength. Who among us could kill their loved one as an act of mercy and smile the whole way through?

Mikasa killed Eren out of love rather than vengefulness, and in doing so, she has broken the cycle of violence.

Hallelujah!

I guess.

Eren is dead, the rumbling is over, and most of the cast is dead too. Soooooooo…, where do we go from here?

The sequence with Mikasa was great, but taking a wider view of the story, I’m left wondering how Isayama is going to play the aftermath of this disaster.

Attack on Titan is not as hopeful a story as people think it is. “The world is cruel, but also beautiful.” I think people pay too much attention to the latter half of that quote. Yes, hope glimmers through the darkness, but that’s all it does. It glimmers. The light is still enveloped in darkness.

Just ask yourself: what are we supposed to make of all this?

The climax is over, but it’s basically a wash for everyone involved. Humanity survived, but will have to deal with famine and ruination for decades to come. Eren succeeded in crippling humanity, but failed to fully wipe them out. The Alliance saved humanity, but at the cost of not only their lives, but the lives of their loved ones, too.

There is nothing beautiful about this.

In the real world, violence and cruelty are not as common as Attack on Titan would have you believe. I think the series is smart on how it’s described people overcoming their animosity: everyone has a monster inside them and everyone needs to work hard to keep that monster in check. Unfortunately, the series vastly overestimates how powerful that monster is.

“I got the idea for Attack on Titan from a computer game. The whole universe was under attack from aliens. I thought if those monsters ate humans, that would be pretty interesting. The cruelty of man-eating titans. I think it came from my experience of growing up in a farm. As a child, I remember thinking ‘all living creatures must get nutrition from other living creatures to survive.’ We might call it cruel, but it is actually the norm.”

-Isayama, on his inspirations for Attack on Titan

Humans are not like animals. Human beings have created a complex web of sociopolitical and economic relationships called “society” which other animals do not have. Yes, humans commit violence because of a need they must have satisfied, similar to how an animal hunts for nutrition, but human needs are strongly affected by society.

What this means is that it is always possible to modify society so those needs can be met through less violent means.

Humans have a strong need for community. But nationalism isn’t the only way to express or satisfy that need. There are other outlets like sports or religion that can do the job. I’m not saying that Floch would’ve turned out alright if he’d gotten a hobby he could pal around with everyone with…well, actually, yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying.

Extremism is always a choice. It is never inevitable.

Attack on Titan acknowledges that people can do better individually, but I don’t think it’s ever acknowledged that herd mentality doesn’t always hold.

And no, I’m not counting the Marleyans at Ft. Salta as an example of that. They made peace with the Eldians en masse, but then Isayama, almost as if to mock the very idea of making amends, has the Eldians turn into titans and destroy the fort.

An ending where Eren outright wins was never going to happen. The laws of good storytelling required that he get a comeuppance for resorting to the rumbling. That didn’t mean the Alliance had to win.

After reading the chapter, I was left with an overwhelming sense of emptiness. No one really got what they wanted even though they all basically lost everything. I’m glad there’ll be one final chapter to sort it all out because it can’t end like this.

Eren committed the most despicable act imaginable; the Alliance acted bravely to stop him. The story can’t end with the Alliance no better off than him.

He was going to die no matter what, so the simple fact that he’s dead and (some) of the Alliance are alive isn’t much of a consolation.

Even humanity being alive doesn’t really mean Eren failed. Paradis is self-sufficient and mostly intact. They can ride out whatever environmental blowback the rumbling causes with little trouble. Any leg up Paradis gets because of what Eren did is a victory for him.

Something more needs to happen that really sticks it to Eren. I don’t know what that could be, but next chapter will hopefully be the Eren POV we’ve been waiting for, so my fingers are crossed that Isayama will have something up his sleeve.

Remaining question marks include the worm thing, Historia’s baby, and the fallout from this possible timeloop reveal. All three of these plot points could easily be fumbled in the final chapter in a way that ruins the ending.

If Historia’s child is really born with titan powers, then they’ll die by age 13. It’s like being born with a crippling birth defect. Hooray?

As for Historia herself, what role did she play in Eren’s plan, really? Everyone’s assumed the details of her pregnancy have been obscured because it’s relevant to the main action of the story. Somehow.

It’d be really lame if she was just a passive bystander. If the pregnancy was only tenuously relevant to the rumbling.

One idea I’ve toyed with is that the final chapter will actually be Historia’s POV and we’ll learn Eren’s POV through her.

We still don’t know what else was said between Eren and Historia when they discussed his plans. That conversation was a critical juncture for Eren: he confided his plans in a friend and they came out strongly against it. Returning to that moment is a good opportunity for us to see what Eren really thinks and what’s really driving him. And that can be done through Historia’s perspective.

Everything about the worm thing is a mess and I wish Isayama had kept it out of the story. Like, yes, this thing is “the source of all organic life” as Kruger put it. It is the first complex lifeform to evolve on Earth and all living species are descended from it.

Why does it have supernatural powers?

The worm thing’s motivation has been described as being to simply propagate, which is to say it’s more a force of nature than an intelligent being acting on a cognitive thought.

Its actions are purely conative. It acts purposefully, but not out of intelligent thought, like how a hyena acts to obtain food for itself. It has a goal it strives to achieve, but not in the same way as humans do.

(The greatest tragedy in Attack on Titan is that this distinction is apparently lost on Isayama)

I don’t know how the worm thing will be dealt with; I just think it’s weird to introduce this thing as a late stage antagonist when it’s just an animal doing its thing.

Speaking of questionable, late stage additions to the story: all this timeloop business.

We’re really doing this now? In the second to last chapter???

This is like if episode ten of Madoka Magica was the last episode. What can the existence of a timeloop add to this story-that’s-already-over.

How did it start? By what means? To what end? What does this add to the characters and themes of SNK?

Everything about is just… ??????

If nothing else, I expect the final chapter to at least try and resolve these plot points.

Next chapter is the last. Ladies and gentlemen, our final moments together are upon us. It has been a privilege playing with you tonight.

#shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #snk 138 #snk chapter 138 #snk spoilers

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rahabs · 4 years ago

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2020 creator wrap: favourite works 🖤

rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (or so) favourite works that you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works.

tagged by @howevernot , who is an absolute sweetheart 🖤 Thank you! I have created many, many works this year, and have written and created more than I have since... 2016, I believe, or thereabouts. It has been an incredibly year for me from a creator standpoint and I have met so many wonderful new people as I dipped my wide duck feet into the Northwest Passage that is The Terror, all of whom made the absolute mess that was 2020 not only bearable but exciting and fun at times. Thank you all so much! Words cannot even express my gratitude.

1. the paths of glory lead but to the grave (fanfiction, rated M; the terror; joplittle, 28k; art masterpost)

This fic was my pinch-hit for the Terror Big Bang this year, and marked the first time I’d ever had the privilege of participating in a Big Bang in all my years of writing fanfiction. I had missed the initial sign-ups because I was in the middle of my 1L exams when it was announced, and was very disappointed. Imagine my surprise and happiness when I was contacted in what I believe was late July, asking if I would be interested in pinch-hitting! I agreed, was paired with a phenomenal artist, and somehow by the grace of all that is holy managed to write just under 30k of joplittle angst in under a month. It’s not my most popular piece (probably one of my least popular pieces by kudos and comments, if not the least), but it is the one I am most proud of all the same.

In 1851, a small fleet under the command of Captain Horatio Thomas Austin located the survivors of the ill-fated Franklin Expedition and brought twenty-some corpse-like figures back to England. Given temporary leave to recuperate in the countryside following their ordeal, Edward Little and Thomas Jopson attempt to reconcile the past with the present and the fact that not all the ice was left behind in the Arctic.

Or, nearly 30k of survivor's guilt, intimacy, the softness and tragedy of the human connection, and learning to forgive.

“The men on Beechey,” Captain William Penney had asked him tentatively before they’d left King William Island, the two brigs under his command floating beyond Resolute’s sturdy decks, “who were they?”

Edward had thought back to those graves, dug deliberately into the frozen ground and lovingly, mournfully filled and marked; had thought about the care shown those young men, whom they had all thought to have the devil’s own luck at the time. He’d then thought of another man, buried alone in a wild and savage land with nothing to mark his resting place; of weathered bones and lonely stones, and the ghost of a man who had only ever wanted to be seen consigned to an anonymous oblivion.

He never asked what it was that William Penney had seen in his face; had never asked what had made Alexander Stewart take the smallest of steps back as Edward’d said, simply:

“The lucky ones.”

2. labefaction (fanfiction, rated M; the terror; joplittle, 5k+)

This was me wanting to put Thomas Jopson in a dress and have Edward Little slide his hands up his skirts, but it sort of turned into a surreal little piece set during Fitzjames’ Carnivale in a universe where Crozier recovered early enough for him and Thomas to decide to attend. Featuring Fitzjames also in the dress canon denied us, and yes, Edward’s hands up Thomas’ skirts :’) A fun little romp.

In the surreal realm of Fitzjames' Carnivale, Edward Little and Thomas Jopson share a dance.

Please, Thomas thought wildly, his own hands reaching out to grip the front of Edward’s vest and haul him forward, pressing as close as he could, desperate for the contact, the heat. It was everything he had built up in his head, and yet it was nothing like that at all, and he wondered for a brief moment if it was even real, or if it was just another illusion of this place.

A gust of wind from the outside was like a bucket of cold water, but instead of deterring him, it only made Thomas more determined for contact, for the heat and warmth of the man in front of him, who was pushing him back, back, until his spine connected with one of the wooden supports and Thomas broke the kiss with a gasp, quickly swallowed. There was a hand at his hip, at his skirts, sliding up against the thigh of the leg he’d hooked around Little’s waist, cold against his flushed skin. The chill was delicious, and he craved more, just like he craved more of Edward’s gaze upon him, only him. You’ve been seen, he thought, no, no.

Yes.

3. we are gone (playlist, spotify; the terror; surreal; 2h+)

The playlist I originally made while writing my TBB fic (linked above). I was asked to post it, and so I did after making a quick album cover for it. I am ridiculously proud of it, and was surprised by the positive feedback it received! My personal favourite tracks include the opening track (Traust, by Heilung) and Myrkr, by Heldom. Also ft. a couple songs by The Amazing Devil.

4. the ruin within (fanfiction, rated E; the terror; joplittle, 9k+)

This was my fic for the Joplittle Fall Fic Exchange, my first fic exchange in almost five years! Because of how my pinch-hit for the TBB played out time-wise, I didn’t get to start on this one until a week before it was due, and I am honestly still very pleased with the results! I wrote it for someone who wrote one of my all-time favourite joplittle fics, too, so that was an extra treat for me!

As preparations for Fitzjames' Carnivàle get underway, Edward Little offers to teach Thomas the quadrille. Thomas just hopes he can survive the lieutenant's hands on him with his control intact and his secrets in check.

“And if I did? If I wished it? Alone, here, with you?”

There was that thing in Little’s face again, in the set of those cupid’s bow lips, swimming just below a surface that was not nearly as blank as most people believed, and Thomas, his own attentions sharp as a blade, made reckless by God only knew, pressed himself that much closer until—

A flicker. A crack in the wall, in the foundation, in Little’s eyes, which widened just the slightest bit as they caught on his hands resting against Thomas’ waist, on Thomas’ mouth, and Thomas, never as good a man as he should have been and selfish besides, rested his hands on Little’s broad shoulders, took the sharp blade of want in his own chest, and plunged it into Little’s own without hesitation and without mercy.

“Oh, Lieutenant,” he whispered, leaning up, his mouth by Little’s ear as the man all but trembled in his arms, “I’m not that kind of girl.”

5. this colourless light (fanfiction, rated E; the terror; joplittle, nearly 5k)

This was just something I could not get out of my head, and that I wrote for fun. It was, as I stated in the fic’s notes, entirely self-indulgent. Entirely. I just wanted some softness and tenderness, and so I gave it to myself, as I had been having a very bad week. I really do like how it came out!

Thomas Jopson takes care of a frozen Edward Little, and an Arctic whiskey caper ends tenderly.

“My love, my own love,” Thomas was whispering, the words only half-spoken as Edward continued to kiss him, still shuddering, still shaking, the wool blanket heavy where it was still draped over them. Edward slipped his hands up that trembling stomach, through the mess left there, a hot claim that he smeared over soft skin.

Honourary mention also goes to would you gain the tender creature, which I wrote in response to a prompt and which remains a personal favourite of mine, but that has featured in lists before so I figured I would spotlight some newer fics!

I am tagging @allegoriesinmediasres, @jamesclarkross, @rosewaterhag, @proudspires, @derry-rain, @thekenobee, @caravaggiosbrushes, @longstoryshortikilledhim, @distantsnows, @judiejodia, and any friends/mutuals/non-mutuals who see this and wish to participate, because I always forget to tag a couple of people despite my best efforts 🖤

#long post #text #chey.txt #tag games #2020 in review #joplittle

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yoimix · 4 years ago

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haikyuu!! as types of best friends.

➼ ft. hinata, sugawara, bokuto, osamu+atsumu.

➼ playlist. talk too much - coin, higher - banks, romanticism - mrs green apple, me and my friends - james vincent mcmorrow

➼ a/n. these have light bff2l undertones hhn i love that trope, pls forgive me. </3 + there’s some timeskip spoilers for atsumu & osamu’s part.

❀ hinata :-

i wish the childhood best friends trope a very good evening.

no one’s better than hinata at making friends, even if you met after he spiked a ball into your face. you’re childhood best friends too !! so imagine being a child and having to pick up this goofball by the scruff, who has the audacity to ask you to play with him after giving you a scratched up forehead and teary eyes from a ball to the face. but, like, you were the one who said yes so it’s on you :-)

sometimes you bicker but it’s ok bc he would literally go to the ends of the earth for you if you asked. no kidding. he hates sitting still anyway so he’ll just gravitate towards where you are like you’re the sun. also gets you taiyaki in the evenings but climbs in through your window instead of using the front door like a normal person. (he has too much energy </3) if you hear someone yelling your name outside your window and ranting about volleyball games, you know who it is.

ok when he makes you mad with his bullheadedness, you'll be complaining with kageyama (who agrees vehemently) and hinata gets pissy bc you get along a little too well when you're throwing insults about him. (he's not jealous, no, of course not.) but.. how long can you stay mad at this sunshine child anyway?? you'll be pretending you never got mad at all within a few hours and go back to joking around.

he gets distracted if you're watching a match sometimes (bokuto somehow got it into his head that he needs to show off in front of you) so you got banned from watching. he overcomes it later on so you can cheer him on in his jersey too <3

gives you ALL his attention when you talk or even complain about your life. he reacts a lot to whatever you have to say so you have to pretend there aren’t people behind you glaring at hinata for having the same decibel sound level as a jet engine.

you have matching keychains you bought at a local fair !!! (you got a pochacco one for hinata but it’s super worn out by now so he keeps it in his wallet instead.)

he has not won a single multiplayer video game against you (*cough cough* mario kart *cough*) and you don’t even have to be good at it. if you call him a loser, he’ll lose even harder. gets unnecessarily mad at just dance and you have to calm him down.

... you’ve probably kissed bc the two of you (mostly him) were too eager for a first kiss and you got fed up with his pubescent ramblings and ended up kissing him. and then had an early mid-life crisis bc you guys are definitely just friends. (unless.. unless he doesn’t think that way.. surprise surprise 😳) also he's.. kind of bad for make out practice... it’s like kissing a month old puppy.. sorry :/. if you happen to make a lot of offhand comments and tease him about his kissing skills, he WILL turn tomato red and argue in gibberish. only do that in private bc the rest of the world thinks you’re sickeningly cute together >:(

overall, your best friend is a ball of sunshine (who occasionally pisses you off) and your #1 motivation to get out of bed. it's mostly bc he's somehow there to get you out of bed though you've repeatedly told him to not climb in through your window. at least the sun is smiling upon you every day <3

❀ sugawara :-

being best friends with him is such a secure relation !!

he’s your soft place to fall but also would provide gentle (not so gentle) reminders for your wellbeing (STUDY!!! WATER!!!! BREAKFAST!!). doesn’t get mad when you say you skipped breakfast but gives you this look of disappointment which is 100x more effective. still gets a granola bar for you though. also he literally carries bandaids for u and he’s been doing that since second grade bc you fell off the swing ONCE. you know, just in case. if you’re an accident-prone hazard to society, you’re in luck.

BEST HUGS especially if you had a rough day and want to sob into his shoulder. if u damage his $85 hoodie tho, he will make u do his laundry and also buy snacks for him. but like he is so soft (his skin is SUPER soft bc he actually follows a skincare routine now) and cuddly like a teddy bear, it's a small price to pay for salvation.

he will hype you up for anything you do !!!! new outfit? offers to be your personal photographer. scored an A+? will treat u to your fav ice-cream. new job? will tell everyone just how proud he is.

ALWAYS shares the last bite with you and smiles to himself when you eat it so contented. also!!! hanging out at cafes and taking cute pictures is a must <3 even though you’re not dating, you’ll have photos together that make you look a real couple which ensue teasing from daichi and asahi and admiration/jealousy from noya and tanaka. also he gets weirdly protective of you around the team (i’m looking at the moron quartet) and you have to pull the “koushi you’re not my mom” card. it really strikes a chord with him when you say that out loud.

will egg your ex's house with you if you say the word. somehow gets more pissed than you at your ex (if they're a shitty one). it's kind of scary when he's mad too so.... good luck calming him down. he's also really good at sarcastic trash talk so if you happen to meet your ex on the street... send prayers for their self-esteem.

you don't really fight often but if you happen to disagree, he'll go about it in a pretty mature way and talk it out. if you pick a fight on purpose, he'll catch on to it and either tickle you (excessively) or flick your forehead as punishment for trying to rile him up. it’s impossible to prank him!!!!! it’s like he’s got a sixth sense or something so you might as well give up on anything of the sort.

you said you want to get a dog (or cat) with him in the near future and he somehow equated that to having children. turned bright red and started saying it’s too soon to be thinking of that while you had daichi stop you from smacking some sense into your overly imaginative best friend. (i mean, you do need to live together if you want to raise a pet sooo)

his lockscreen is a picture of the two of you so a lot of people who try to hit on him take the hint quick. he says it’s unintentional but you know he can be terribly scheming at times. if you say something like “why don’t you date me for real, coward” he will malfunction and not be able to look you in the eye. (“don’t joke around, y/n” “what if i’m not” “it kind of feels illegal to date you” “what do you mean?!💢”)

anyway you are one lucky mf if you have sugawara koushi as your best friend even if there are both ups and downs (mostly ups). having someone care for you so blatantly certainly makes the question of romance arise but you’re content with the most loving best friend ever.

❀ bokuto :-

you guys are the “two best friends in a room, we might kiss” “yes we will” “what” type of best friends PLS

it doesn’t matter what stage of life you met him, it’ll feel like you’ve been best friends since the beginning of time.

it’s just so easy to make friends with this airhead and by god’s gift, you cannot physically get annoyed at this man. sometimes his friends will complain about him being forgetful or blunt but you’re just there like. yeah. that’s bokuto. love him for it. (you seem to have a lot of patience.)

he probably gets into trouble with authority unwittingly, so save your weekends to sweet talk his way out after accidentally implying the coach has a weak mindset. afterwards, you go get ice cream or something and hang out at the dog park to forget it happened. (the amount of second hand embarrassment bokuto has given you though... you need some hard drugs to forget all of it.)

you probably make a lot of friends through him in high school/college but at the end of the day, it’s just you and him and sometimes akaashi making sure you guys are alive. if you guys are alone together on a friday night, you’ll still be having fun!! very often, it takes shape as karaoke :-) bokuto thinks he’s really great at rapping for some reason (he’s not) so cue you screaming the lyrics in an attempt to ruin your part of the song equally. also he always sets the key wrong??? although you sing the same songs each time?? sometimes he picks a song neither of you have ever heard and the both of you try to guess the melody. he’s terrible at it but at least he’s funny. there’s not a single song he hasn’t had a voice crack in.

if you go clubbing/partying with him, get prepared to be introduced as the friend of “the guy who did four keg stands in a row before proceeding to do a cartwheel unprompted and somehow not throw up”. is on first name basis with the bartenders/hosts and gets you free drinks. also gets hit on often but is oblivious unless they’re being very straightforward. if he’s not into them... you have to pull the s/o card and save his ass. oh also he barks at anyone that gets near your drink.

will always exaggerate when introducing you to new people. “y/n and i met when i saved them from drowning a terrible death.” “it was the children’s pool and you were the one that was screaming.” “and then y/n didn’t really thank me but it’s not like heroes need thanks to do the right thing.” “kou, i will push you into a pool right now, let’s see how well you swim.” (he learned swimming to impress you so joke’s on you.)

he likes to watch you do stuff at the end of the day, so if you see him go o_o at you doing homework, you can just put your earphones on and focus on your work. even if he’s making.. a strangely.. adorable expression. also LOVES to listen to you talk about your day when he’s tired, he says it helps him sleep better (so expect a lot of nighttime calls). moreover, if you say you had a bad dream, he’ll comfort you with his ridiculously confident tone of voice (unless the dream was about something bad happening to him, then he’ll freak out and you’ll have to comfort him instead </3)

ok one thing that’s annoying about him is that he probably leaves food crumbs over your stuff like laptop, bed sheet, etc. you clean it up but bokuto.. is a bit... distracted to notice the mess he’s making. it’s usually pretty difficult to get him to be more aware, but like your glare is enough to make him at least try to be careful from the next time. (either that or he’s become sensitive to your change in mood/emotions bc you know... you’re best friends after all.)

i’m not gonna lie, he probably catches feelings for you at some point. he wants to, like, keep it lowkey bc akaashi told him to take your feelings into consideration too but?? it’s so hard?? you’re literally so pretty?? everything you say is like music to him??? he reacts reflexively to all the firecracker feelings u give him. he probably says he likes you all the time but you dismiss it with “as a friend right :-)”. there’s no climbing up from that one, sorry bokuto.

to summarize, if a moody golden retriever was your human best friend.exe

❀ miya twins :-

they feel like a set. it would be strange to have one of the twins as a bff and not have the other one around whoops 🤷‍♀️

either you and osamu bully atsumu in your free time, or you and atsumu annoy osamu for fun (or both) <3. it’s always a good idea to team up with osamu and prank atsumu for fun btw. (put wasabi in his breakfast pancakes and you’ll get a very pissed off but weirdly cute tsumtsum. you can blame it on osamu if you don’t want to face his wrath.) your alternative is to embarrass osamu in front of strangers with atsumu, have fun with that. (second hand embarrassment also works.)

when you were younger, you pretended to not be able to distinguish the twins bc it would visibly rile atsumu up and then you’d go “ok you’re atsumu”... which would further rile him up. osamu got used to your shenanigans though it ticked him off the first time too LOL. call them the wrong name on purpose and they’ll start a riot; be careful when you’re playing with fire pls.

you guys played a lot of knight and prince/princess/royal when you were a kid and atsumu would always try to make osamu the evil dragon holding you captive. in the end, you were somehow the knight, osamu the prince to be rescued and atsumu the big, bad dragon. (it’s kind of funny in hindsight. your parents have photographs of the three of you fighting like no tomorrow.) also speaking of which, your parents are also friends and have bets on which twin you’ll marry (or if you will at all). it’s tearing your parents’ friendship apart.

these two have DEFINITELY fought over whose jersey number you’re going to wear to the games ( “oi, ‘samu, stop brainwashing my best friend into wearing your stupid double digit number” “you know i’m the best friend, ‘tsumu. they clearly like me better over yer ratty ass.” “what did ya say?!?!? if anything, you’re the one that looks like ratatouille.”) you wore kita's jersey number to games.

imagine sunday picnics with the boys !!! by that, i specifically mean osamu and his perfect bento boxes <3 sometimes the two of you will cook together before your outings while a sulking atsumu stands outside bc you didn’t let him. (let him in, you monsters.) he says he can cook too but the last time the twins’ bickering almost burnt the whole kitchen down. the picnics continue well into adulthood and you get to diss your boss to the twins who will always support your rants. (sometimes atsumu will tell you it’s your fault but you can smack him off. we only need supportive besties here 🙄)

if someone hurts u.... they’re going to need divine intervention to be safe... you have two well-built, physically adept best friends ready to beat the shit out of anyone who deliberately breaks ur heart.

when the twins get into a physical fight...... oh boy. it kinda pisses you off that they’re spewing profanity at each other and you’re the one getting glares. but at the same time, you don’t really want to step into a fight that has nothing to do with you. people should solve their interpersonal issues on their own. they have never fought over you, this isn’t twilight <3

but the question did come up once on which twin you like better; it’s not something to seriously fight over though. if you chose osamu, atsumu will complain for six days straight and you’ll start to regret ever answering the question. if you say atsumu, osamu won’t feed you his onigiri anymore for a few days which is just as bad. the safest choice is to say neither bc it will both be funny and you won’t suffer too many consequences. if you say you love the both of them for being your best friends all this time and go all mushy, there’s a slight chance they’ll go soft too. god help you from the bone crushing hug you’re about to receive 🙏

you make sure to not miss any of atsumu’s official games !! sometimes he’ll wave at you and make the reporters give you hell bc he’s a little shit. just push osamu to them and run away if it gets that bad. (he gets free advertising for his shop, he should be grateful.)

osamu is super good at cheering you up!!! whether it’s with food or with pleasant talk, you’ll be feeling much better with a full stomach and a calmer state of mind. as for atsumu, he’s really good at you cheering you up by distracting you. he’ll talk about his team or this new serve he learnt and the world will seem a lot brighter bc he seems so happy about it. whichever twin you go to, it’s win-win.

in return, the twins take up a good chunk of your time. sometimes atsumu will crash at your place after a game though you’ve told him to not lead the damn reporters here. osamu makes you taste test his experimental onigiri... which are not always good..... no seriously, why’d he put honey and tuna in there ?? but still, your life is ridiculously colorful with them around.

anyway, what can i say except what’s better than one best friend?? two best friends !!!

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #atsumu x reader #osamu x reader #bokuto x reader #sugawara x reader #hinata x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu scenarios #atsumu #osamu #bokuto #sugawara #hinata #rosemi.hcs #kind of all over the place but it's about the vibes thank you #feel free to correct any typos i made im about to pass out gn ;-;

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sgmwesters · 3 years ago

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╰ ❛ 💉 — › melisa asli pamuk. cis woman. she/her. . ╯ have you met meliha “millie” kaplan yet ? this thirty four year old capricorn has been living in the seattle area for two months. she makes a living as a fetal surgery attending, which is best suited for their direct, resourceful, ferocious, and secretive personality. ironic by alanis morissette is one of their favorite songs, and they’re written by em, 25, gmt, she/her, no triggers

B A S I C I N F O R M A T I O N

full name: meliha leyla kaplan.

nickname(s): millie, mels.

age: thirty four (34).

date of birth: 11 january 1987, capricorn.

hometown: istanbul, turkey.

current location: seattle, washington.

ethnicity: caucasian.

nationality: turkish, uk citizenship.

gender: cis female.

pronouns: she/her.

orientation: she’s friends with olivia hayes, do with that information what you will.

religion: atheist.

political affiliation: n/a, cannot vote in the us.

occupation: fetal surgery attending.

living arrangements: large apartment.

language(s) spoken: english, turkish, french, dutch.

accent: a slight english accent on some words.

P H Y S I C A L A P P E A R A N C E

face claim: melisa asli pamuk.

hair color: brown.

eye color: brown.

height: 5 ft 7.

weight: 122 lbs.

build: slender.

tattoos: none.

piercings: ears (multiple), nose.

clothing style: we love a powersuit vibe.

usual expression: softer than she would want it to be.

distinguishing characteristics: beauty spot under her lip.

H E A L T H

physical ailments: celiac.

neurological conditions: none.

allergies: nuts (highly allergic).

sleeping habits: not very well.

eating habits: again, not great.

exercise habits: does running away from your problems count?

emotional stability: sitting at a four currently, usually about a seven.

sociability: very sociable.

body temperature: colder than you think.

addictions: none.

drug use: experimented in college, but long stopped.

alcohol use: always.

P E R S O N A L I T Y

positive traits: direct, resourceful.

negative traits: ferocious, secretive.

fears: being alone.

F A V O U R I T E S

weather: leans towards warmer climates.

colour: red.

music: as long as it’s loud and she can sing along, she doesn’t mind.

movies: sleepless in seattle.

sport: netball.

beverage: vanilla milkshake.

food: chicken nuggets (but she’d lie and say it’s foie gras).

animal: horses, she had a couple growing up.

H E A D C A N O N S

meliha kaplan is the youngest of two children (with an older sister) born to a diplomat and a teacher in istanbul, turkey.

millie and her sister got the finest education her parents could afford to put them through during their time in turkey, which is where millie picked up the majority of her languages, and prides herself on the fact that she can speak them. she will use them as much as she can so that she doesn’t get rusty with them.

her family moved to england when she was thirteen following issues with both politics and her family. her parents kept her and her sister in the dark about the reasons behind the move, and to this day millie still isn’t sure - and she doesn’t want to know. she idolises both of her parents and wouldn’t want to ask questions that might change that.

millie worked hard during school to secure a place at cambridge university on their medicine programme, as she had always planned to do. that, and the fact that her sister had tried for the programme and not gotten on it also made her want it more.

while she was at cambridge, millie met olivia hayes through the universities support programme, wherein those in the years above were able to provide insights and tips to those in the years below.

although millie was a couple of years behind olivia, the two hit it off right away. it was almost troublesome how well the two got along, but thanks to cambridge, a lifelong partner-in-crime duo had been formed.

she’d been tempted to follow in the route of her friend with urology, but opted instead to specialise in fetal surgery, a specialism that she worked on in london, allowing her to be reunited with olivia who had finished at their alma mater a few years prior.

given the option to spread her wings further, millie was never going to turn it down. she applied for positions all over, internationally and in the uk, and was offered a position in new york - naturally, she was thrilled.

millie thrived in the city, being away from her family (further than she had been before) gave her a sense of freedom that she hadn’t felt properly before.

during her time in new york, millie reconnected thomas whitley. thomas was another attending at the hospital, and a friend that millie had known when she had first moved to england years prior. thomas had come from a strict catholic family, and found life in new york exciting as he was able to be himself - out and proud, and had a number of boyfriends that millie adored over the years to prove it.

in late 2016, thomas was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. both he and millie’s worlds shifted slightly, as they were confronted with his family coming out to new york to spend the last of thomas’s moments with him, still with no idea about his sexuality.

with that, thomas asked millie for a favor - millie was to pretend to be his girlfriend, which she didn’t mind doing. she was a free agent, and thomas was her best friend in the city - why wouldn’t she cover for him in the last moments of his life?

it was a fine plan, until his mother began to get very upset with the idea that her only son was not going to be married, that she would never be there for his big day: and an even bigger favor was asked of millie. thomas asked millie to marry him, and millie said yes. they married in early 2017.

the wedding wasn’t a large affair, mainly comprising of thomas’s friends and family since it was his last hurrah. they enjoyed the party, and despite the fact that there was no real love between them, millie had a good day as she chose to view it as a day celebrating their friendship.

they had thought thomas only had 12-18 months to live, but he managed to outlive the estimations, with thomas passing away three years after their fake marriage. within those three years, millie and thomas lived very much a “will & grace” style lifestyle, living in the same apartment but very much able to do as they wished - as if the rings on their fingers weren’t really there at all. it was all for show as his family has settled on living in the city with them (as not to miss his turn for the worst).

it’s now seven months after thomas passed away, and millie has outgrown her widow duties. she feels a fraud, with so many people believing in the marriage and that she was grieving for her husband, so has moved to seattle for something of a fresh start knowing that her friend olivia was to be there. millie feels guilty for having inherited thomas’s assets, especially since she didn’t see herself as a real wife. she has been spending the last couple of weeks getting herself settled, before starting her new job at seattle grace mercy west.

2 0 2 1 U P D A T E S

turned thirty four in january, i still can’t believe that we forgot about it @ angela

dating declan baker ?? about to be anyway it’s very early and actually quite sweet ??

she’s thriving and deserves the world that’s it that’s the 2021 update

more senior in the department than she was in the beginning i guess i wanna give her a bit more power cos i can

W A N T E D C O N N E C T I O N S / P L O T S

always liked the idea of her dead husbands boyfriend, i feel like that could throw a few of the old curveballs into her life

maybe her older sister? would wanna talk it through first though thanks x

#━━ ✦ 𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐄 𝐊𝐀𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐍 ❮ biography ❯#newintros

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unproduciblesmackdown · 4 years ago

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another prompt saga

April 8th: Talk about friendship. How important are friends to you? Do you find it hard to make and maintain friendships? Are your friends generally supportive? Is there anything about having friends that confuses you?

another big question for me to go on plenty of tangents lol

well i haven't often had friends Really, there's like, being amicable with classmates, being friends with people While We're At School Together, being friendly acquaintances lmfao, or like, the occasional "yeah ig we're sort of friends, not exactly very close tho" lol and then rarely where yeah i'd call someone a close friend, although naturally, it's not like i completely discount those other, less close relationships. and, even more so, not like overall i'm like "oh friendship? yeah that's pretty frivolous and unimportant and it's just something mildly entertaining vs the Real Shit & True Emotional Support & Love of your biological family and romantic soulmate" lol, Friends Are Important and it's entirely serious 2 me

also natch i Do find it hard to make and maintain friendships lol. goes back to like, preschool and being around a bunch of age peers regularly for the first time, where my "best friend" defaulted to this one person who sought out interacting with me when i was otherwise doing my own thing during preschool recess, and i was pretty enthused about getting invited to a bday party one kid invited a bunch of us to, because that was like, a Friend thing, and a fun social thing, and i was included.....that i Do remember just feeling like, socially, everyone else was playing a game i didn't know the rules to and so couldn't expect to participate and, furthermore, i ought to stay out of the way of whatever everyone else was doing, where i Did often choose to do stuff by myself, but it's like, you know, the way "autistic" is even used figuratively (which. i have a lot of disdain for) because it's like oh the defining thing really is that telltale "doesn't want to interact with other people or form relationships, probably because also they have no feelings / normal and intrinsic qualities of Humanity" but it's like, if you pay any attention or god forbid ask autistic people about their own experiences, sure everyone has their own varying social approach and anyone might not always be raring to be the center of the party or Not want to do their own thing, but it's not that oh all autistic people aren't interested in social connection, but that like even when you are a small child it's like, oh all these other kids are interacting in this way that isn't really my social style and that shuts me out, and/or attempting to interact with people results in this even subtle, quiet rejection / exclusion that can be picked up on. i wasn't making friends and was often keeping to myself / keeping my head down as it were, but it wasn't because i didn't want to have friends or socialize. my mom was insistent i was a Shy Child lmao and i'd always argue that i wasn't Really, without further explanation though lmao, but it's like, again that i felt that sort of emergent exclusion, and there wasn't any space to interact much on my terms at all, and like, yeah i often stayed quiet / didn't want to mingle with other kids / if i was in a Situation i wanted to know the How To of navigating it / what to expect

being friends with people at school was fine, except the drawbacks of stuff like "we're only interacting at school, rarely hanging out outside of that" & "someone in the same grade is in a diff class in elementary school so we just never see each other now" & "for some reason that 2nd grade teacher made a whole giant Example out of me and a friend, god forbid, not paying attention or whatever the fuck, so now i feel like we can't interact at all anymore" & "changing schools entirely between elementary / middle / college" & "not being in school" lmao similar to work friends too, we're At Work, might not see each other outside of that, might change jobs & stop seeing each other, & still overall rare, b/c the Preschool Experience never Really stopped imo, had different versions of it even into college and like, being at jobs with other adults lmao, socializing is still Like That, came up with the Je Ne Hate Quoi where like, people kind of just Know to exclude you / consider you an exception to whatever other social stuff is going on.

and then like, the difficulties even when socializing / interactions Are happening, where like, it's always funny like. i'm very Verbose / Chatty and very opinionated but like, this will surprise people, that i Talk actually and have a ton of takes, b/c i was keeping to myself / not sharing that with them and so it's like well, that must of course be the realest version of me, no way i was filtering myself, i just must have Not Wanted to talk, and/or had nothing to say & hence no thoughts or feelings i might wanna share lol, of course....and tbh like, it sure Can be true that i don't wanna talk lmao like. i wanna talk About Stuff that isn't really "personal" generally, which can be like, yeah i wanna talk about this book, or about birds, or about this trivia topic, or whatever, whereas idk so much how to do like small talk about your day or otherwise share Casual things about Yourself, like, idk, being aware my interests are things about Myself but also aware that it's Weird / wasn't the kind of stuff you were supposed to talk about, and i felt that things about my life were otherwise Not The Right Stuff, or too boring (never hanging out, not doing much except being at home reading / doing shit by myself or w/siblings) or too Unfun (able to pick up the sense that At Home Shittiness was a private matter lol......) and it'd be like, idk what to say, things about myself don't seem to fit..........but also it can be that i do not enjoy the Vibe of an interaction lmfaoooo like, i truly do not want to talk to you people. like that i can sometimes vibe with someone inebriated people better lmfao because then, idk, they have some sense of humor and can muster some enthusiasm for anything, but also i'm not really a fan of knowing that someone isn't sober lmfao like. ppl will be like "omg were you drunk" like no, that was just my personality, whereas i am not Heartened to know other ppl Will have to have been drunk to get on my level, for example, don't understand when people cannot muster being even a little silly. it's goofaround hours. but then you have like, being around a bunch of cishet people when they're drunk, and their humor is as nonexistent and boring as ever but they're even louder / more insistent about it, nightmare. and, yknow, just people talking and i'm like "i'm not interested in this at all, whether re: conversational Style or Subject, i would not want to participate" and times when it's like. i know if i was gonna chime in with what i Would say you would not be able to handle me here lmfaoooo so. i truly would prefer examining the wall and thinking about my own shit or texting with someone i do like talking with

but that yknow, in groups / conversations i would be at least someone interested in, i can still be like, idk, Hesitant To Talk b/c of all the instances you've been taught like oh you're socializing Wrong and everyone hated that, sorta like the post about making a comment about salsa that brings the gc to a halt and you're wondering how you fucked up and if salsa killed someone's parents and forgot or whatever, i've been Disheartened re: hanging out when it's like, well, nice to be included, but i'm a friendship third wheel here, not being included in the entire convo and nobody misses it, there's been instances where it's like, two people talking, i chime in, i am completely ignored multiple times, this is frustrating lmao. or there's been times i've tried to put myself out there in a way, like yeah sure i'll hang out with this group, but also i'm anxious and it's like, if people are doing homework i'm also bringing this thing i'm working on as this parallel task, only to find out down the line like people then regarded you as a joke or something b/c it was Rude or Wrong when you know, actually that was you reading some weird shit that didn't exist into the situation, and just like, idk it's wild how people will have like "graciously" declined to express something to your face, and you either can pick up on shit at the time but not be able to say anything which just reads to people like "oh they didn't notice this / that means you can push it a little further next time even" or like, figure out later that something that seemed positive or decent actually ft. people not liking you / not wanting to include you Yet Again, and as a bonus you're left with you know, having to always worry about if people Seemingly being amicable & accepting is actually them wishing you weren't there or solidifying some Interpretations of you that they're then gonna Talk About or Act On behind the scenes, like, beautiful thank you, always very touching, so glad you were so Considerate of someone's feelings and Nice about this where it just ends up being this whole letdown / feeling like even more of a rejection if there was this weird like stringing along lmao like. can allistic people be normal for five minutes

anyways and tied to that sort of, it's also like, simultaneously Cagey About Things and always worried about like, i could tell this person this thing and maybe it'd be Incorrect for the interaction and they won't care, whether because it's too mundane and boring a thing about you or because it's too #Real, i think i glimpsed something a month or so ago about like "do other autistic people have trouble where like, you can be friends with someone a long time but not get particular Close to them" or whatever lol, where like, well i have to hold everyone at arm's length and often Then Some because there's just matter of fact stuff about me that i nonetheless think i can't or shouldn't share, if i talked about something it might be out of the blue b/c i just was hardly confiding in people about it, or it's boring, or it's like, i don't actually feel like i'm close enough with this person that saying this isn't gonna be like "whoa overshare!! i just feel awkward & weird!" lmfao like. there were people i hung out with in person the year i lived out of my car and i did not mention this at all to them / kept it a secret b/c it's like, not out of like ohh this is a secret b/c No One Can Know, some people Could know lmao (shoutout to the person i Did confide in about these problems and who talked with me at what must've been like 3am in that timezone when i was like "well the rich people around here made sure to get cops to harass an unhoused person, e.g. me, would you believe it, it sucked" lmfao) it's that i knew idk, it would be pointless, they'd just feel weird about it and switch into that "for some reason, this is being Nice" where everyone will go into full Putting On A Front mode to be Polite like, that really sucks actually lmao could you Not. but it's like, idk, all this stuff where it's like "this thing about me / my life would be too Boring or too Awkward or Depressing or Etc Etc" turns out to be isolating / alienating b/c like, of course it would be. and idk nobody i ever made friends with in person i was Confiding in, not a ton of them re: me either, because you know. being cagey and wary, on top of like ohhh this person is Standoffish if they're hesitant to interact with people generally or do their own thing or i don't think they're socializing Right / have incorrectly inferred their feelings/motivations/intentions or whatever

and furthermore on that lmao it's also like, again, while i'm Verbose & Opinionated people will think i'm quiet & have no takes to provide because it's also like, even when it comes to stuff i sure feel i Could talk freely about, it's like, if i have a different opinion here will that just be a conversational Interruption ruining things for the real participants, probably nobody wants to hear me talk about this Subject, probably nobody wants to / would let me talk about it at much length without interrupting, even Online lmao i can be just going all out in terms of [how much i can talk about something] and while people can be Into that at that time it's like, people aren't into that beyond that one back and forth on one day, shoutout when people do enjoy the extensive discussing and/or have patience for it other times lol.

then supposing i Am talking to people lmao it's like, idk i'm an acquired taste or what have you, like, on top of the Talking A Ton it's like, the being opinionated and argumentative and sometimes pedantic or whatever on top of being irritable, could stand to be a bit more patient lmao, The Hater Friend to use the figure of speech lmao i have hardly been in a Group to be The [Any] Friend lol, also if my sense of humor doesn't fit it's like well how am i supposed to be silly, if being sometimes Enthused doesn't fit, again kinda an issue......have described myself as A Bit Much, humorously, but already not doing that as Much b/c it's like, i think i'm still too much like considering other people's opinions too "objective" here when like, first of all that's never accurate lmao, second of all i can easily forget that idk, i can at least in theory expect people to just regularly Like me and Enjoy interacting with me lol so. an acquired taste few can sample..........like hey even if other people don't vibe with me, it can just as much be the case that i'm not vibing with other people, don't worry lmao. and yknow, kinda parallel to Masking to seem acceptable in any casual social situation it's like, if i feel i'm suppressing my whole personality here / putting up a front / like i have to Get Through what should be a friendly interaction rather than be able to enjoy it myself, it's not exactly that rewarding. and plenty of times it's like, i like to be around people, but it can be strangers, i don't feel like "oh i wanna go out to eat / see a movie / go to this event, but if i can't get any friends to go, guess i can't!" like get out of the way i'm readily doing shit alone, it can even feel Better that way if otherwise it's like, now this occasion is about performing peak Agreeability for this other person/people, and like, not like i have ever been like "yes i have people i can readily ask to hang out and they'll be like Ya" anyways lol so. used to operating solo, where you can't be like "aha this is because this person has no Human Interest in Human Connection" when it's like. well it was never all up to me was it

well and so also it helped when i was 14 and able to be Online consistently, vs at home lmao. time for online friendship, which i don't think is like, oh that's not Real, like what sorry have you never known about people who have Remote friendships before, phones & letters & telegrams and also [nowadays when many ppl are Remote even if they usually lived near enough to hang out with] where it's like, you have this different format for socializing that can sure play out differently than Real Time, In Person interactions, and ever since i'll be posting mostly to myself lmfao but able to thusly talk about Interests and like, people will come along who want to talk more about it, then we do. i suppose also it can sure help that i'll draw (and Only draw, lol) for said interests, although tbh i think most of the time it's the extensive text posts that do it? really and great litmus test or whatever lmfao like, well already this person must not hate the verbosity. and then you can end up vibing with these people further, or not, but it's like, again, there's this chance for From The Start like, oh this person Likes that i have this niche interest, they like &/or don't mind talking A Lot about it lmao, vs in person introductions where that can sure happen but it's like, that's gonna be chance & spontaneous, whereas ppl might have the opportunity to Seek Out this interaction / content of yours......even online though, i'm still like, not as inclined to reach out or make the first interaction move or whatever lmao so. and then it's like, people make galaxy brain remarks like "ohh people who are very Online don't have friends, irl, they aren't Personable, irl," like yes congratulations i'm autistic and i don't have many In Person friends generally, sometimes maybe not any, don't really know where people think they'll land their argument here. like, follow it through, are you just calling people losers. is it "social media makes peopel Not social" like nobody is Doing Anything when they're online or everyone is embracing strangers and having heart to hearts every weekday morning with whoever is nearby if only they weren't on twitter? plus the fact that like, if i don't have access to people i interact with online, that doesn't like, force me to become neurotypical so that i then have a thriving in person social circle, it just means i'm more isolated? meanwhile, turns out it helps a lot if it's like, yeah i can Expect to interact with people

and then still like, all the time it might be like i still can feel Confused as it were about How To Talk To People lmfao like. there's not much "Just Be Yourself" when being yourself has meant filtering yourself, actually, and being v self conscious about trying (and often failing) to appeal to other people (which, then if you do succeed, it's like oops this person likes me but if i've been putting up a front the whole time, not super Validating) and not exactly a ton of practice getting to do Otherwise, and it can again be like. is this too boring to talk about, or just somewhat arbitrarily like "oh i'd better Not talk / say whatever" for no real reason lmfao, i Can just get like. Real Time Chatty as it were, but it's difficult actually lmfao like i need a lot of momentum, and it's easy for that to be Not the case.......and just like, again that it's easy to forget you don't have to be in "nobody wants to hear you talk" mode, or think like, okay, i can't just say anything, i have to say something Good, aka of interest or funny or whatever lmao but then it's like well i guess i Can just say anything. don't much know how to do that tho

(also, sidenote from "wtf is thinking being friends w/someone online is faker than when you're friends with someone sort of from being in the same building every weekday, what is the conclusion of 'what a loser geek whatever if you care about connecting Online who can't be popular Offline'" where it's always funny when someone is also like "wow even in person Fandom is, like social media, something that only people who suck at socializing Normally are into" lmfao like. not very relevant b/c nobody wants to really be in a broader fanbase rather than find particular kindred spirits through it, and who actually wants to go to comic con or whatever, sounds like a nightmare, but it's still such a faux analytical perspective lmfao like, again, first of all, what's the Conclusion to your argument here? and secondly honestly like. all versions of Small Talk are kinda gonna be bullshit, even amongst say, nt people, there's nothing Universal, and people can certainly be inconsiderate / preclude any genuine connection via what they might consider to be this neutral part of the ritual, and yknow, i find it kinda exhausting like it's peak Time To Mask and then i'm hardly in the mood to Really talk further, like yknow what. idk i'd be annoyed if someone demanded i Correctly Complete some sort of fandom reference by way of greeting, but i'm also annoyed when someone demands i Correctly Complete whatever maneuvers you're supposed to do with a rhetorical "how are you :)" lmfao like. you're a cringe nerd in the rigid social ritual of pleasantries fandom)

anyways and uhh yeah i also yknow, hashtag alana beck, it's like, glad to pretend Friendly Acquaintances makes sense, i guess it can, but it's great when it's like, oh i Don't have to only expect to be really peripheral in people's lives, or to only be friends with people i don't feel like i vibe with That much or also talk to that much about anything, when i can definitely feel like Yes this person is a Friend, no "are they actually closer to an acquaintance at this point" disclaimers needed, again, taking it back to the fact that friendship sure is Significant to me and when i have it that's v important thanks

so it's like uhhhh yeah difficult to make friends, don't have general appeal or whatever lol, ppl aren't on my wavelength or i'm not on theirs, hard to talk to people even though it's not because i don't/can't talk plenty lmfao.......and re: being Supportive it's like well, i don't really tell people In Person i'm autistic but naturally if you follow me Online here i am talking about it lol, and not like anyone who already knew me & was friends with me was like "oh nvm don't like interacting with you now" and i also gotta mention the like Handshake Lgbtq lifehack, where plenty of times it can be like, oh if we vibe on That wavelength it can be easier to befriend people, and/or that people will at least be more like, amicable / supportive based on Knowing you're handshake on that lol. b/c really it's like, i'd also like to just be allowed to talk and/or simply be around people even if we are not Personal Friends, aka that you can expect to be treated decently with some basic respect / consideration and like you're generally allowed to exist and be present and interact with people where you're not only guaranteed to Not be punished / excluded for it if someone's your individual friend and allows you to be here, so. once again it's like, can allistic ppl be normal for 5 min

#still behind on this naturally lmao but when it's now 1am and i've chosen to do a whole essay #it's like whew time to make dark dinner for now #30daysofautismacceptance #2021

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cmrp7 · 4 years ago

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FANFIC Sozin's Comet- Katara POV (zutara begins)

Hello there, I have always wanted to rewrite the story as I wish it would happen, I figure I share it for those Zatura shippers out there. This is the turning point for me, so this is when everything begins. Also, in my mind the gang is not the same age, add up three years to everyone. So Katara is 17, Zuko 19, Sokka 18, Suki 18, Azula 17, Aang and Toph 15.

The sun was already rising and I barely had some minutes of sleep. Today was going to be the day, by nightfall we either will be dead or we will have defeated the fire lord. I feel so tired and I haven't even fight yet. Where was Aang? Was he okay? He must be having a very hard time thinking he has to kill a man, he is very young, I know he is the avatar but it breaks my heart that he is facing such difficult choices alone.

"Katara, are you awake?" Toph whispered behind me. "I am" I answer letting out a breath, turning to face her.

"What are we supposed to do without Aang?" she asked, her arms behind her head, her empty eyes facing our tent's ceiling. We were given a tent by the Order of the White Lotus just for girls, Suki was here too but I heard her leave during the night, I am sure she is with Sokka, Zuko must be with his uncle.

"He will be back, but until then we must keep going. Let's hear what Iroh have to say before anything else, Zuko seems to think that he can help."

..............................................

"Today, destiny is our friend. I know it." General Iroh claimed I watch my brother one last time, Toph hugging him and Suki behind her. I nod, he nods back. I love you, brother.

Tears run down my cheeks as the Eel hound carry them away and Zuko pulls Appa's reins and we took to the sky.

The clouds seem to be tainted with blood, the air was hot and tick. Sweat running down the side of my face, I swallow a tick knot of feelings.

"What is going on thru your head?" Zuko asked to my left. I turn to face him, his golden eyes shining as never before, the air making his long hair move around his sharp edges.

I felt the need to touch his face, as I did once before…

"I cannot believe how many things have happened this year, here I am with you of all people, on Appa flying to your home to fight your sister." I said, turning my head to see the devastating landscape in front of us.

"I know, I cannot believe it either. So many things have happened. I never believed I would have the straight to fight the need to please my father or my sister, to be one of them, to be accepted." He said, I could feel his stare on me, but I didn't have the courage to face him, every time I think of his sister, I remember what happened in Ba Sing Se.

She KILLED Aang, every time I think in the possibility of what would have happened if I would have used the water of the Spirit Oasis to heal Zuko I want to vomit. Aang would be dead. Dead.

"You know," he said "I've been thinking of what happened in Lake Laogai when we were imprisoned…" that made me turn around to face him, but he wasn't looking at me. "I… I care about you Katara, I respect you, even before we were friends. You are very strong, fierce and at the same time one of the kindest persons I know. You have the power to hurt anyone you want, but you don't do it, even to those who deserve it." My heart was beating so fast, I could hear my blood rushing in my ears. He raised his head, and his eyes looked into mine. "I don't think that I would have been able to betray my uncle if you had been there, watching me do it. You are like a rock to me, a rock of my ideals, and it sounds stupid, and makes me weak I believe, but is the only way I can describe it."

I didn't know what to said so I said nothing, I don't know what he was implying. And honestly, I didn't have the courage to open that door right now.

"When I am with my father or my sister, something overcomes me…" he continues, his expression looks pain and I immediately want it to go away, "they are my family, I want them to love me, and I love them even though they do not deserve it. I don't know why, I want them so bad to accept me, and I believe that is the main reason of my behavior, the way to obtain that embrace, was getting back my honor, by getting my honor back, I would get the love of my family. That is why I asked you to help me, because even after everything that has happened, facing my sister is very hard for me, and having you there will make it way easier." He let out a very sad laugh "I sound like such an idiot."

I reached toward his hand and take it in mine, "You are not an idiot Zuko, you are a good person. Your heart is pure, that could only be a good thing."

He smiles at me, caressing my hand with his thumb. "You see, even after everything I did to you, you take my hand and make me feel better."

"Zuko…" I answered letting his hand on mine because it felt right, "I hated you, you know? I had so much anger after Lake Laogai, for your sister, for you. Aang died because of you, you betray ME, If I would have healed your scar, Aang will be long dead by now." I actually shiver at the thought. "Do you understand it?" I asked forcing all my feeling into my words, his eyes were hurt and he tried to let my hand go but I didn't let him, because I needed it. "Ang was really hurt, he took a long time to wake up, and every night I cry myself to sleep because it was my fault, and I talked to no one about it, it was eating me alive Zuko, everyone believed that I was sad, and I was, but more that everything, I felt guilt. I can't imagine how anyone stands me back then, I even punished my own father for my guilt. It was awful, I felt so useless... "

"I am sorry Katara, I don't know what to say I…"

"But you also understand me more than anyone else Zuko, you know who I am and accept me as such. I discover that when we travel to find the man who murders my mother, I was about to kill him in front of you, and if I would have you wouldn't hold it against me, I thank you for that. You have been to hell and back, turning the way you have is a testament of your kind heart, we are growing and learning, and whatever happened before it let is to this moment. Aang is alive, I am sure he is going to defeat your father, and you and I will defeat your sister, together.

Everything was happening so fast, words tumbling out of my mouth without even thinking of what I was really saying. I wanted to let that out for a long time, I felt lighter, the anger becoming acceptance of my path and a guide to my future.

"Together." Zuko said looking into my eyes, and a new determination was showing in there, we are going to build a new beginning, and today will be the day we will place the first rock.

Appa roar as we descend into the palace. A pit was forming in my stomach, anticipation, excitement…

People were gathered in the courtyard, a loud sound marked the beginning of the ceremony. Appa landed between two walls near the place, but not enough to be seen or heard. Zuko let a breath out and dismounted in one agile movement, I follow him, he looked at me, I couldn't understand what he was thinking.

"I better try this before I can't" he said closing the distance. He grabs my waist with one arm pulling me to him, grab the back of my neck with the other and place his lips on mine. My eyes went wide with surprise, but soon a warm feeling spread to my body and I was aware of his soft and warm lips on mine, I felt like someone punches me in my stomach, it literally hurt. Feelings, a mountain of them. His kiss deepened and I kiss him back, pulling him to me desperately. We pulled apart and look at each other, panting.

"I wasn't expecting that" he said, still so close that his breath caressed the tip of my nose.

Me neither, I was trembling, I am sure he is the one caring my weight.

"We need to go" he said, trying to pull away, but I grab on to him harder.

I didn't want him to go, I wanted to stay like this forever. What if we go and die? Panic begins to overpower my thoughts.

"Together, remember?" He smiled with full teeth, "There is no way we are not coming out of this one after this."

Hell yeah, we are coming out of this one. We smiled at each other like two maniacs, confidence shattering the panic and filling me with anticipation. I feel like I am drunk...

"Together" I reply, with a smile, and we run.

................................................................

"Sorry, but you are not going to become fire lord today. I am." Zuko declares as we arrived.

Azula rise with a scary smile "you are hilarious" she said. Stopping the man who was about to place the crown on her head. "Fine, let's settle this just you and me brother, the showdown that was always meant to be, Agni Kai."

Her hair was messed up, her eyes crazier than ever, something was not right.

"You're on" I heard Zuko answer, to my surprise.

"What are you doing? She is playing with you. She knows she can't take both of us." What about together, idiot?

"I know, but I can take her this time." He said looking at me, and my heart gave a jump of happiness. I smile at him, and nod. I trust him.

By the time the people left the sky was even darker, red shadows dancing above us, Azula looks awful, broken. I took my mother's necklace on my hand, and wait. He can do this, he can do this…

Their power was unbelievable, blue and red flames rising 30ft from the ground, the heat was unbearable. Zuko moved like never before, Azula getting more frustrated by the second, he was winning. Zuko made a fire kick that resonated 20 ft in front of him, making Azula stumble to the ground. I lean forward, trying to run but I stop myself. Not yet...

"No lightning today? What's the matter, afraid I'll redirect it?" Zuko taunted her.

I swallow, I don't think that is a good idea to play games with her right now.

"I'll show you lightning" She promised, her movements like a living nightmare coming to get you.

Zuko breathed, preparing himself to redirect it. His confidence is palpable.

Then I see it, at the last second. She was looking at me, my eyes widened and I prepare myself to move when I see Zuko placing himself in front of it. The monstrous lightning hitting him straight in the chest. I heard myself letting out a horrible scream. His body felt to the ground trembling with electricity, combusting in horrible angles.

I ran to him, but a holt of energy land in front of me. Azula was coming to get me. I looked one last time at Zuko, hold on, please hold on… I need to finish her first.

Fear becomes energy and will to survive, comet or no comet, I will stop her.

I glanced one more time at Zuko, and move just in time to dodge a bolt of blue fire. I could smell the heat roasting my hair. It made me sick.

Azula laughs wildly behind me, a predator hunting its prey. She was having fun. I could only run for now, she was behind me, she had the advantage. I move as fast as I can, bending ice to be faster I glance back at her, she was on the roof. I felt water nearby, move in that direction, and hide behind a pillar. Yes, water. I took a wave and blast it thru the roof, but she was gone already. I glance back once more and she burst out of now where, preparing lighting, that's it, if she hits me, I will die. I raise my hands, she was close enough, the water in her blood was mine and she stops, her eyes widening in complete terror. That's right you idiot. Her power was too great, I wouldn't be able to hold her one more second, the point of her fingers almost touching my nose, I will the water under us to cover us and support our bodies, I let out a breath, letting my body free and hold her with a chain I grabbed minutes before. I needed air. I finally let the water go, and we both fall to the ground gasping for air.

Zuko… I get up and run to him, my lungs still aching for air. His body was facing down, not moving. I was trembling as I kneel and turn his body, Azula was screaming like she was being tortured, his chest was badly burnt, I force the water to obey me and placed everything I have left in me to heal him, my fingers were shaking so bad. The water glowed and I feel his skin, his muscles, his organs… Please, please… I begged.

His eyes opened and looked at me, I let out a cry and hold him to me, I was crying tears of pain and happiness, my heart exhausted and bursting with joy. I kiss him, and our tears met each other.

"Thank you, Katara" he said, very softly.

"You are an idiot, don't ever do that." I threat.

He turns his face, hearing his sister's screams. I swallow and got up cleaning my tears with the side of my arm. I offer my hand and he took it, together we walked toward her.

Watching her like this bring me no pleasant feelings, she was crying with rage, pulling the chains, and spitting fire. Zuko's face was miserable, and my chest hurt for him. I surround him with my arm and place my head on his shoulder. He loves his sister, despite all.

"I am here for you, you will never be alone," I promise, graving his hand with my free hand, he looked at me and smile sadly.

"Thank you Katara," he said raising our hands and kissing mine, "thank you for being here with me."

Note: Hello, I wrote this because lately I rewatch avatar and I love them together. English is not my first lenguaje, if something needs correction please let me know♥

#zutara #fanfic #zutara fanfiction #avatar #katara #prince zuko #zuko #azula #avatar fanfiction #zosin #what would it be like

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bazzaya · 4 years ago

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changing stripes - chapter 1

A series about the events after the fall of Tartaros from Sabertooth's eyes. Canon compliant, yet will diverge slightly from established events in canon. Minerva-centric, but still heavily features all of Sabertooth.

Summary: Much like a leopard cannot change its spots, a tiger cannot change its stripes. It's hard to break free of old habits, old lifestyles, but Fairy Tail has made one thing clear: Sabertooth cannot continue with their old ways. They'll have to do the impossible, and change their stripes.

A/N: yeah the ft game dragged me back into the series that hard, enjoy this multichap fiasco

Word Count: ~3.6k

[Ao3 Link/FFNet Link]

Please like + reblog! Comments on linked sites are appreciated too!

Enjoy!

There were tall, luscious trees as far as Sting could see, and there were just as many that he had already passed behind him. It felt like he had been walking for forever within this forest, and it concerned him to a small degree. It wasn't that he didn't trust his guide, but there was a voice in his head nagging at him, telling him that something might be off with this whole plan.

"Uh," Sting began, letting out a quiet grunt and scratching at the back of his head, "are you sure this doctor friend of yours is as good as you say she is?"

"Yes, I can personally attest to her skill," Erza responded, glancing over her shoulder back at Sting. "Why do you ask?"

Sting cleared his throat. "Well, it's just—we've left Lady Minerva in a place that's apparently in a desolate part of this huge forest, and… I just want to make sure that she's, y'know—alive and hasn't been cooked in a soup in a house of candy."

"Your imagination runs too rampant for someone who doesn't read, Sting," Rogue commented with a sigh.

"It's a reasonable concern! I don't know this doctor lady! She might be hungry!" Sting growled back.

Erza flashed a brief smile, exhaling a soft laugh. "Don't worry, I left Minerva in good and safe hands," she looked off to the side, her smile growing a bit playful. "Besides, Porlyusica is a vegetarian. The only threat Minerva is under is getting a broom to the head if she acts out and misbehaves herself."

"Whew! That's a relief!" Sting let out a pleasant sigh and closed his eyes, but such peace didn't last long, as his eyes shot wide shortly after giving Erza's words a second thought. "Wait! No, it's not! That doctor's probably hit Lady Minerva a thousand times by now!"

"Have a little faith in the lady," Rogue said, crossing his arms. "I'd wager a dozen times at the absolute most."

"That'd be impressive, if it were possible," Erza said. "However, most of Porlyusica's treatments are done while the patient is asleep, so unless Minerva dedicated her few waking breaths to causing a disturbance, she'll be fine."

Sting calmed himself and nodded his head with a deep breath. "You're right, you're right… I guess I'm just…nervous, or somethin'. I'm afraid we're gonna get there and find out Lady Minerva is an entirely different person, nothin' like the one we knew before. That'd scare the hell outta me."

"One doesn't change overnight, Sting," Rogue said pensively. "She may be committed to a new and better life, but that should not change who she is deep inside."

Sting looked away, grunting under his breath again as he folded his arms behind his head. "Yeah, well—my stomach is still in knots. I wish I could just pick her up and take her back home to Sabertooth without worryin' so damn much. I hate feeling like this."

Rogue could understand that, and he closed his eyes and dipped his chin. "If it's of any consolation, I feel the same way. I always wished for her to return to us, but now that it is finally happening, I cannot help but realize I never envisioned what would happen after she has returned. I have no idea how things will be like with her back. I can only hope we all can make amends and move forward…"

"And that's all there is that you can do," Erza said calmly. Her usual serious and confident tone was instead replaced with a gentler one. "It might take awhile for it to feel normal with her around, just as it might take her some time to grow accustomed to the guild again. I can promise you one thing, though. Should you or Minerva ever need it, I am happy to aid you however I can."

"Thanks, Erza," Sting said, grinning a little. "You're a real one."

"The same goes to you, as well," Rogue replied with a smile of his own.

"And thanks for looking out for our lady," Sting said. "We ain't even a part of your guild and you still went so far to snap some sense back into Lady Minerva and get her help after the battle. Means a lot that you'd put your neck on the line for one of our own."

Erza let out a small chuckle, scratching at her cheek. "Please, I think you're taking it a bit too far. Still, think of it as nothing," she glanced over her shoulder at the two of them. "Come now. It's about time she returns to your care, where she belongs."

Sting and Rogue both nodded their heads, determined to see their lady again. "Right!"

Only a few more minutes of walking remained until the three of them finally arrived at Porlyusica's house in the middle of a clearing in the woods. In addition to the dirt path that led to her doorstep, there also seemed to be another section of the land with no grass on it, arranged in a large rectangle, almost like a small battlefield. It must have been a place for Porlyusica's patients to practice magic. In fact, Sting noticed how some of the dirt was blackened and charred, as well as some small divots scattered across the battlefield. Someone has definitely used it for practice in the past.

Within a moment, Sting snapped himself out of his thoughts and jogged ahead of Erza towards the door, staring at it once he was close.

"This is it, right?" Sting asked.

"Yes, this is Porlyusica's house," Erza said.

Sting drew in a deep breath, steeling himself to knock. He raised his fist and brought it closer to the wooden door, ignoring the churning feeling in his stomach. He was mere millimeters away from knocking, but he jumped back at the last moment and turned towards Erza with a guilty, nervous look.

"Maybe it'd be better if your doctor friend saw a familiar face instead of some rando like me!" Sting laughed uneasily before dashing behind Erza and nudging her forward. "Go right ahead!"

Erza quickly regained her footing after the nudge and moved closer, clearing her throat and smoothing the front of her skirt before being the one to knock on the door. Rogue shot Sting a look after that little stunt, though his expression softened in understanding right before the door opened, revealing an older woman with pink hair.

"You sure took your sweet old time, Scarlet," Porlyusica sneered. Sting shivered where he stood, immediately intimidated by this old woman's demeanor. Rogue didn't show it as obviously, but his eyes did widen slightly.

Erza smiled nervously. It seemed even the great Titania was intimidated by Porlyusica as well. "Thank you for waiting for us to arrive. Er—she didn't cause you any trouble, did she…?" she asked with a hint of unease, unsure if Porlyusica's moodiness was brought on by Minerva, or that she was just being herself.

"No worse than the usual riffraff you've dropped off on my doorstep," Porlyusica sighed.

"Don't you worry, Titania," a voice said from somewhere inside Porlyusica's house. Soon Minerva's figure appeared by the doorframe, a hand on her hip. "I've been a good girl."

"Lady Minerva!" Sting bursted out in relief at the sight of her, a huge smile on his face. "You're not soup!"

"Sting!" Rogue admonished, swatting him in the arm. "Don't be ridiculous!"

Minerva raised an eyebrow at Sting before glancing back to Erza. "Did I hear that right?"

"Y-Yes, but don't pay it any heed. He's just happy to see that you've recovered and are well," Erza flashed a smile.

Minerva slowly nodded to that, glancing down at her hands. The black scales and markings that marred her skin as a demon where no longer there, and both her eyes have become visible again. Minerva looked to be her old self again.

"After a lot of work, we did find a way to return to my old appearance," Minerva said, her free hand rising to toy with the necklace she was wearing around her neck absentmindedly. "Your friend here is rather impressive in her knowledge."

Porlyusica didn't respond to that, only standing there with her eyes closed and that usual annoyed look on her face, but otherwise not displeased. That was a small victory, at least.

"You look good as new, Lady Minerva!" Sting said excitedly, balling his fists in front of his chest.

"Like Erza said, we truly are relieved to see you healthy and well again," Rogue said with a small smile.

Again, Minerva nodded her head, remaining rather silent. "You needn't worry any longer on my behalf. I'm just fine."

Amid the silence that crept up on the five of them after that, Rogue was surprisingly the one to break the quiet, clearing his throat and tilting his head. "Is that a new dress, Lady Minerva?"

"Hm, this?" Minerva glanced down at her outfit: a sleeveless black dress with golden flames adorning the sides. "It was a dress from an old patient that Porlyusica allowed me to have. It's not up to my usual standards in attire, but I can make it work—"

To that, Porlyusica hit Minerva over the head with her broom with a growl, causing Minerva to wince and rub the wounded area after.

"Be grateful to your elders!" Porlyusica shouted.

"I am, I am!" Minerva defended herself. "I only mean in reference to my personal aesthetic preferences—the quality is surprisingly of a high caliber and this certainly is no cheap article…!"

Sting, Rogue, and Erza all looked on as Minerva and Porlyusica bickered—or rather, Porlyusica complained and Minerva made excuses to save herself from Porlyusica's wrath. Sting spoke up to break up the banter before it escalated.

"Just askin' out of curiosity, buuut… How many times do ya' think she hit you with that broom, milady?" he asked.

"Have a little tact, will you?!" Rogue said in a hushed, angered whisper.

Minerva pursed her lips and glanced away, displeased. "...Thirteen."

"Fourteen!" Porlyusica dissented.

"No, the time that I switched places with you and hit you instead doesn't count," Minerva said.

Erza's eyes widened out of fear on Minerva's behalf. "Excuse me?"

Minerva sighed and gave Erza a dismissive wave. "Relax, I'm kidding. I didn't hit her after we switched places… I only snapped her broom in half so she wouldn't hit me again," she huffed and placed her hands on her hips, shaking her head. "Never thought she'd have a hidden collection of spares to use on me instead…"

Sting grinned smugly and turned to Rogue. "I win the wageeeer," he teased.

Rogue crossed his arms and turned his head away in a rare display of competitiveness instead of seriousness. "But my estimate was ultimately closer to the actual amount…"

Porlyusica ended this little spat with a loud clearing of her throat. "I believe it's time for my patient to be discharged and return home, away from here. I never thought the day would come where I would treat someone outside of Fairy Tail…"

Minerva took a quick step past the threshold of the doorframe, taking the hint to leave. She stopped before taking another step, turning back to Porlyusica and opening her mouth to speak, but she paused, averting her gaze and tensing up from unease. "You went a great deal out of your way to help me. I appreciate it," she said, her words delivered uncomfortably, yet still with genuine intentions. "I hope I wasn't too much of an inconvenience."

Porlyusica let out a sigh, but it wasn't like her usual ones of agitation. Rather, it was like a sigh of defeat, letting her cold exterior down for one moment after Minerva's words wore away at it. "As I said before, I've had worse people dropped on my doorstep. Mind yourself in the future so I won't have to take care of you again."

Minerva hummed under her breath, nodding her head and accepting what civility she was offered. She walked past Erza and toward Sting and Rogue, joining them so they all could make the trip back to Sabertooth.

Clearing her throat, Minerva shifted her weight to favor one leg, setting a hand on her hip. "Shall I teleport us back to the guild?"

Sting shook his head, smiling slightly. "Nah. Let's take the long way back. We're in no rush."

"In that case, I should probably guide you all out of the forest," Erza said, joining the three of them. "I hope you don't mind me tagging along for a little while longer."

"Not at all," Rogue said with a grateful nod. He then smirked slightly, a twinkle in his eye. "If Sting led us out of here while left to his own devices, I don't doubt he'd lead us straight to that candy cottage and we'd be eaten for dinner."

Sting recoiled to that at first, though he soon grew angry at Rogue's joke. "Hey! I'd smell that candy a mile away and I'd know to avoid it! I ain't a good side dish for soup!"

Minerva looked between the lot of them, confused, but slightly amused at the very least. She took another step forward, hoping they all would join her, but she was stopped by Porlyusica's voice.

"Hey, tiger lady!" Porlyusica yelled to get her attention. When Minerva and the others looked her way, Porlyusica continued with a barely-noticeable grin. "When I last treated Scarlet, she incurred the wrath of the broom twenty times, and she was only in my care for two days. Now, off with you! I want my peace and quiet back!"

Erza froze in disbelief after Porlyusica slammed the door shut, and soon all eyes were on her. Her face was red with embarrassment, and she gulped nervously. It didn't help that Minerva was smirking at her, gloating like her old self.

"Looks like I behaved myself better than you," Minerva teased, laughing under her breath.

"Th-That's debatable," Erza muttered, still embarrassed. "It was never my intention to anger her, but I just—somehow I always did…"

Minerva laughed louder, and Sting and Rogue couldn't hide their own amusement either.

"That's right! Our lady is the best!" Sting snickered, rubbing under his nose.

Erza huffed, walking forward and doing her best to brush off her humiliation. "We're leaving. Keep laughing, and I'll tell the witch in that cottage to cook you medium well."

"I-I'm sorry! It won't happen again!" Sting bowed his head repeatedly, asking for forgiveness.

"Way to have some backbone, Guild Master," Minerva said, but only in a playful tone.

Rogue smiled to himself, feeling a wave of relief to have Minerva among them again, and having her feel like a friend for the first time. "It's good to have you back, Lady Minerva."

Minerva blinked from surprise at the sudden sentimentality, though she flashed a brief smile and nodded in response. "Direct your gratitude toward Erza instead. She was the one who dragged me out of the dark so I could be standing here now."

"I couldn't have done that on my own," Erza argued, though with a lighthearted nature about it. "I can't make someone else open their eyes to the truth. They have to do that themselves."

Minerva dismissed that train of thought with a wave of her hand, ending the conversation there. Other unimportant topics came up, filling the air between the four of them on the rest of the walk until they left the forest, arriving in Magnolia.

"Be safe on the journey back," Erza told the three others. "Take care, and work hard."

"Same goes to you, Erza!" Sting said with a wide grin.

"You've been a great help, Erza. I hope we can meet again soon," Rogue nodded with a smile of his own.

Minerva looked at Erza too, pausing a moment before speaking up. She didn't want to say goodbye just yet—there was still something she needed to address.

"Porlyusica told me about what happened to Fairy Tail. It must be hard," she said, trying to be sympathetic.

"Yeah, talk about a real shame," Sting let out a ragged sigh. "Can't believe it's just gone like that.."

"Fairy Tail will never truly be gone. I still wear the mark on my arm, and my memories of it are still stored within my heart," Erza responded, setting a hand on her chest.

"That may be so, but still, tangibly it is no more," Minerva said, drawing in a breath. "I owe you for everything you've done for me, so at the very least, I have to make the invitation. You're always welcome to join us at Sabertooth."

"You've got what it takes to be a tiger! You'd fit right in with the rest of us!" Sting grinned excitedly.

Rogue let out a slight laugh, folding his arms. "You haven't even returned to the guild, yet you're already recruiting others for us. You waste no time getting reacquainted, milady."

Minerva cleared her throat, glancing back to Erza with an expectant look. Erza flashed an apologetic smile before closing her eyes.

"I appreciate the offer. Truly, it means a great deal coming from you, Minerva—but I'm afraid I have to decline. I don't know if I have the strength to join another guild. Not now, at least. Not yet," Erza said in a solemn tone.

"Aww, man. That's too bad," Sting hung his shoulders. "We would love to have ya'."

Minerva managed to smile for a moment even with the declined offer. "Well, since the guild dormitory will be closed, you're free to stay with me should you need it."

Sting held a hand to the side of his mouth and pointed Minerva's way, lowering his voice to a whisper to speak to Erza. "She has a mansion. It's huuuge."

"And even if you don't want to join the guild, I can always slide you a few job requests under the table," Minerva grinned playfully.

"That's very kind of you," Erza smiled back. "And also very illegal."

"I would focus on the thought behind the words instead of its legality," Rogue said with a nervous, yet amused look.

"I'll let it slide this once, but don't push it," Erza joked.

"Our doors are open anytime for you to drop by, got that? Not as a member, but as a friend," Sting said. "Please come over sometime! We have an indoor pool!"

Minerva raised an eyebrow, turning her head towards Sting. "We do?"

Sting's eyes widened when he realized Minerva hadn't seen the pool yet. "Milady, you have missed so, so much."

"Evidently," Minerva said, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Which is why I shouldn't keep you any longer than I already have," Erza interrupted. "Don't wait too long. The sun will set before you arrive at the guild."

"Right. We'll be on our way," Rogue nodded. "Goodbye for now."

"See ya' soon! Hear that? Soon!" Sting said with a big wave.

Minerva opened her mouth, though she didn't find the words right away. "Wait, Erza."

Erza tilted her head. "What is it?"

Minerva paused to collect herself, lowering her gaze to the ground and swallowing a dry gulp. "Thank you...for everything," she said in a quiet voice, clearly unused to saying such things. "And…And I'm sorry for what I've done in the past. It's inexcusable. Truly, I don't know how or why I deserved your kindness to bring me here… But know that I do appreciate it."

"You needn't thank me nor apologize," Erza shook her head with a slight smile. "It's what friends do. The best way you can remedy your past mistakes is to be a better person from here forward. That's apology enough for me."

Minerva nodded slowly, gradually coming to smile. "Right. I'll do my best. Goodbye, Erza."

"Take care, Minerva," Erza said in return. "Now go. Your family awaits you back home."

Minerva's grin grew a little wider as she turned away, joining up with Sting and Rogue to leave Magnolia, as Erza stayed behind.

"Please visit our guild! And bring a swimsuit! Take a dip in our pool! It's become famous, you know! We got a huge story about it in Sorcerer Magazine!" Sting shouted as they walked away, too excited to stop even if Erza was quite a distance away.

"I don't mean to sound harsh, but I don't believe him in the slightest," Minerva told Rogue. "There's no way in hell he installed a pool inside the guild hall."

"Well…" Rogue trailed off, crossing his arms. "You're in for a big surprise when we arrive, then."

Minerva turned away, clicking her tongue. She looked to Sting in disbelief. "Tell me—if this pool is as big of a deal as you say, does that mean other people from outside the guild have come to use it?"

"I gotta turn away people at the door, the pool gets so busy from people wantin' to see it for themselves!" Sting bragged with a loud laugh.

"Have you at least charged outsiders admission to use it?" Minerva asked.

Sting's cocky demeanor vanished and he froze. "Eh? I can do that?"

Minerva let out a sigh, gripping the bridge of her nose and walking past Sting to take the lead. "I swear, if I were gone for any longer, the guild would fall apart without me…"

Sting and Rogue shared a look after Minerva's snide remark, but they quickly came to smile together, knowing that their Minerva was truly back.

"That's our lady!"

#writing misadventures #fairy tail #sabertooth #minerva orland #sting eucliffe #rogue cheney #ft fanfic #text #long post #guess who's writing again

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