#cannot bowl for shit | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mindrat · 2 years

Text

harry brook

is not the real deal!!!! all of his matches have been on FLAT pitches against BORING bowling attacks. tonking ZAHID MAHMOOD and NEIL WAGNER (who is washed af?!!!!) for runs is STAT PADDING!!!! lets see him come to INDIA for a REAL CHALLENGE (SPOILER ALERT: he will FAIL SPECTACULARLY)!!

#harry brook #sucks #stat padding #nz is washed #rawalpindi conspiracy #barmy army #cricket #india shoulda won in england #india is da best #india #neil wagner #cannot bowl for shit

3 notes · View notes

rynli · 1 month

Text

doodle from a fanfic-length DE dream I had that I can’t stop thinking about (in which Harry has a panic attack trying to walk through the doors of his precinct, flees into Jamrock, investigates a booby-trapped corpse, fails to explode, has a low-morale depression episode, and makes a shitty ceramic bowl to cope) (it tells him positive affirmations)

#disco Elysium #Harry du bois #sketch #i can’t decide which expression I like better #meant for him to actually look happy but then the smile warped into something really miserable as I went #which felt accurate tbh #then drew the anime beam in a fit of annoyance but actually really like it too lmao #pryce finally tracks him down and asks what the hell is wrong with him #Harry says nothing is wrong #actually my bowl is even telling me words of affirmation :)#pryce: what the hell does that mean #Harry (voicing the bowl) even someone like him can make something beautiful!#pryce: what the hell do you mean beautiful #that’s shit #a child made that #Harry: -1 morale try not to cry cry a lot #I cannot stop thinking about this shitty bowl #rynArts

83 notes · View notes

care666bear · 5 months

Text

ate another oxy & decided bong rips b4 bed right after. I’m quite literally too obliterated to even move

#at the point my body goes numb and I don’t feel real every few minutes. I am just wrecked #idk if it’s getting older or sobriety but I cannot take shit the way I use to be able to #I’d like to smoke another bowl or two but I am so ruined atm I might actually pass out so I’m sitting here trying to get less fucked up #it’s not working at all I think it’s gotten worse actually

21 notes · View notes

emdotcom · 4 months

Text

*remembers what they did to Vanny* 500 FUCKING PIPEBOMB ATTACK.

#em.txt #WHY #how can you see the fucking absolute fire that is building up & go. 'yeah douse it. now bring back peepaw AGAIN'#BUILD HER UP 2 GAMES EARLY --- & THEN DO NOTHING!!!!!!!!? FUCK #WE CAN'T HAVE WOMEN DO THINGS IN FNAF I GUESS #the company's scop was too big & they developed the game seperately from the environment & made the environment above the game #cut playable vanessa sections. cut vanny appearances.#remove all the plot make vanessa a bitch throw in some invisible walls call it done. 30 dollars now please #security breach isn't just bad. it's not fucking done.#the thing normally with cut content is i can usually agree like 'okay this game cut this but that was a smart choice'#it can be better for time or budget & it can make for better writing.#for instance all the cut content in ahit is neat & as much as i like moonie it's smart to cut his character to build up other ones #& makes for a tighter story & less convoluted area that's more fun to play #when i look at the cut content for security breach their are obvious issues.#it's obvious the company's scope went too far. you built too big an environment. you built the environment before your game.#you prioritized a cool area to the point you expanded the mall from 1 story to 3. do you think that time could have been speant elsewhere #& the other problem is the insane fucking crunch that scott cawthon as a dev placed on himself & others to maintain relevancy #a single person locking themselves ina room for months to stay relevant is fucked. a game studio physically cannot do that.#you see shit in the prerelease like they wanted a bowling minigame a kart minigame a freeroam minigame etc #what about vanny? what did you want with this character? you clearly had something in mind #but we needed to cut it so we can fit in mazercise i fucking guess or chica's bakery or trash heap #here's what we have: less than 1 minute screentime. the 2 vanessa ending comic. that's it #oh wait i forgot. 'vanny. sounds like vanessa & bunny. this cabnot be a coincidence ' & THEN IT NEVER COMES UP AGAIN #princess quest used to be about that bitch in golden freddy you retconned it to be about vanessa SO DO SOMETHING WITH THAT #her whole shit is apparently in service to william afton. why isn't she in the afton fight at all #does she not know he's down there? is he unrelated? does she know she's working for the mimic? is she not working for him?#is she at all related to the fucking bunny from ruin or like what #what about the rainbow hair. what about her tech prowess. what about the cut missing kids only referenced in duffle bag messages now.#fuck you & fuck me as well why can't i be passionate about hvac systems #why's it gotta be this shittass gsme.

6 notes · View notes

sonni-the-silly · 23 days

Text

Strong PE hater not because I just don’t like the class but because I have no redeeming skills in it and have had people argue with the teacher over being put in my team.

#Let’s see…#Bad hand-eye coordination #Some struggles with fine motor skills #Cannot throw shit well and has rubbish aim #Perfect child to subject to several years of being embarrassed so fucking bad they will never ever ever look at a gym without crying again #The amount of times I’ve been bullied is not funny actually #I’m just the “weird smart kid” to them #You guys know. I have a personality right???#Like I’m not just a fucking AI :/#Reminds me of the time #That we were doing cricket when I was like 11 #And this BITCH bowled the ball so fucking hard #And it hit me (I wasn’t even fucking playing)#And everyone laughed at me #Even my friends did #and I wanted to cry and I did cry actually #The teacher made me want to die #He didn’t even do shit about it #He just told everyone to keep playing #Oh my god hit hurts thinking about it #Also people try to purposefully knock my glasses off for some reason????#The amount of times I’ve been hit in the face in a rather painful manner #And nobody would give two fucks #What if I did that to them?#I would get fucking removed from class probably :/#This is actually a RAMBLE in these tags chat #sonni yaps

5 notes · View notes

the-casbah-way · 5 months

Text

i saw a tiny fox cub today i don't know why it was on its own i hope it is ok i love baby foxes so much i've never seen one in person before it was SO SMALL

#unfortunately i cannot leave food for them because the foxes here have a history of being really difficult with the cats #they have been in fights with justin a few times and they constantly shit in his house and his water bowl #so it doesn't feel safe to have lots of foxes in the garden. but i feel guilty seeing a baby fox alone looking for food #i KNOW they'll eat anything that moves and they will probably be fine because there are LOADS of foxes here and there have been forever #so clearly they're doing alright for themselves. but nowadays i take the cat food in at night and i feel guilty #i hope that baby has a mother or something somewhere and its not on its own :(#i just have an animal caretaker brain that ignores all facts and logic because i see any animal and want to take care of them #i guess that's how i ended up with nine cats. i can't say no to any animal i'm too weak. i want to help them all #does that fox need my help probably not. it will most likely be completely fine animals don't need our help constantly #and it's important to know when we're overstepping #but. baby fox alone :((

6 notes · View notes

creepycoffins · 10 months

Text

listen. I love canon observant fics as much as anyone but...aus where Knives and Vash are just Brothers...I am eating that shit up.

#they share a bong and vash kept breaking the bowl so only nai is allowed to do it now #they get take out sometimes and watch movies and nai ruins the plots by guessing whats gonna happen #nai sends one word texts and vash is obnoxious with his emojis #vash moves out to live with wolfwood and nai sends pictures of the plants vash didnt end up taking like #ur monstera has decided it cannot live without you but dont worry i wont abandon it u heartless piece of shit #trigun

8 notes · View notes

linuxfemme · 6 months

Text

hi. have just smoked perhaps the best bowl of weed of my life. i always said tigers milk was my fave strain but this might genuinely beat that. fucking. 36% tch with insane terps. im having trouble making this post. my entire brain feels like it's slime in the hands of an enthusiastic 12 year old girl. amen.

#ava speaks #cw weed #i smoked 1 bowl. i. i cannot stress enough how usually it takes 2-3 to get me high #sometimes 4-5 if it's shit weed #1 bowl and im. fucking stoned.

2 notes · View notes

aguadyne · 7 months

Text

it always makes me so sad to see people get discouraged from cooking because they think it's embarrassing to follow recipes and that they should have an innate ability to know how to cook everything... it takes a lot of experience to learn how to cook just by feel and professionals still use recipes to get ideas or they forgot their own recipe from the book they literally wrote. like anything else cooking and baking is a skill ... let others guide you

#and if youre someone who cannot follow instructions dont pick up baking because you cannot #just throw shit in a bowl and pray it works lol

2 notes · View notes

runawaymarbles · 2 years

Text

I think there are therapeutic benefits to the house being kinda messy actually

#sometimes I can’t find things and it’s annoying and then i organize stuff #but for the life of me I cannot KEEP shit tidy #it is simply not going to happen #and after a year and a half w my current housemate I have mostly trained my brain out of #You Left The Book Press & Floss On The Coffee Table And She’s Secretly Fuming About It #but it’s very slow and very stressful #now you might be saying #why not clear the embroidery floss off the coffee table when you’re done #and the answer is if I do that I’ll never finish but also #I don’t know I do Not know #I just found a thing I drew for an assignment in college #it was ‘show everything you did yesterday’#there’s no dialogue but I have a sequence where a housemate has a lot of !!! pointing to dirty dishes #and then I make a face and do the dishes #and then I eat and watch tv #and she comes back and goes !!!! again because I’ve now left a new bowl out #and I drew it to be funny and it’s framed as being funny #but it made me kinda sad to look at it #I used to get in this huge stress spiral about cleaning #at one point I explained to my therapist that I could not clear my stuff out of the living room #until none of my housemates were home #because I did not want them to see me doing it #and I don’t think I realized how deranged that was until right now #which isn’t to say any housemates were ever unjustified #idk fam many thoughts tonight #not being afraid and or aware that everyone in your house is mad at you for admittedly justified reasons #that you are unable to fix to their satisfaction #is really relaxing #you don’t realize weight till it’s gone etc etc #my life

13 notes · View notes

gender-euphowrya · 1 month

Text

it's really baffling to me that when i tell people i don't eat veggies they're like "THEN WHAT DO YOU EAT" like. do you not know about the other food groups. have you exclusively been eating carrots and leaves like a bugs bunny

#you don't need to be fucking sherlock holmes to figure out that it's. well. everything else #meat. dairy. pasta/rice/potatoes that kinda thing.#like people treat me like a fucking alien for my food tastes like can you really not picture in your head a meal without vegetables #are you that fucking turnip-pilled #it's not that deep #like the doc i saw today looked at me like i was sprouting tentacles when i said i don't eat tomatoes #like... yeah i'll eat tomato-based stuff like tomato sauce & all but not just plain tomato #i still don't get How people eat tomato like it's so slimy yeurch #like it's not me having the fuss levels of a 5 year old who doesn't waaaanna eat his peaaaaas #it's. my brain cannot even conceptualize vegetables as food. i KNOW that's what they are but i don't have the ''oh ! edible thing'' reactio #like you hand me a bowl of salad and a bowl of rocks and i'll find them equally unappetizing. gun to my head i wouldn't eat either #i don't know ! i don't know why ! is it autism ! is it arfid ! is it something else ! is it just arbitrary tastes !#WHO CARES ?#that's the way i work and the way i've always worked and fuuuuck i Don't care about changing it #i don't think i can in any case. not to the extent people expect me to. i'm doing my best #so what if i get fat and die at 50 i'm here for a good time not a long one #i'd rather die young and have lived life according to my rules than die old and have restricted myself & forced myself to do stuff i hate #who gives a fuck i'm not having kids anyway i won't have a bunch of people relying on me living old for shit so whatev #people hear about vegans who only eat vegetables and are like Yeah i understand that #but say you eat anything Except vegetables and suddenly it's an extremely weird diet and i must be some kind of crayfish from mars

1 note · View note

trashbaget · 11 months

Text

normal shits:

the shits my brother takes:

and the herculean mammoth of a shit i just had to figure out how to flush when all i wanted was to brush my teeth:

#why #why does this happen #he is TEN !!!???#these are fucking huge #like bowl filling ridiculously CLOWNY HUGE #this shit has to be broken down into pieces to even get down the tube and literally cannot get flushed without minutes on minutes of plunge #a bitch speaks!#a bitch just wants to go to fucking bed in peace #hopefully i will not dream nightmares of monster shits

0 notes

karnaxa · 1 year

Text

I am actually the rudest person if you ask a stupid question

#and then my mom gets annoyed with me if I act like it’s an obvious answer #you literally just did the same thing to ur husband!! I get it from you! you cannot be that mad #anyway where does she think the water bowl is going to go? in our huge kitchen that’s not at all cluttered with your shit that you moved #in here and haven’t put in storage #I say it doesn’t bother me but you literally should’ve planned better #I am never helping you people again if you don’t have all this shit packed up and planned better I am not playing #literally just look where you are walking

1 note · View note

lexicog · 1 year

Text

warm-up design that I need to post so I don't keep working on it lol

#art #doodle #warmup #sketch #creature design #dog #beast #thing #my art #good morning #my friend bought me some ramen cups for my birthday and i ate it for breakfast and i feel so fucking normal it's unreal #had it in a big bowl with a lot of leafy greens and green onion :] i tried adding fennel but i didn't add enough to taste it #but i have more than i can feasibly use (generous farmers) (i cannot eat it on its own or i would)#so i will inundate that shit with it next time hellll yeah #oh right anyway i need to break from drawing for food again im hungry

1 note · View note

arosebyan0thername · 1 year

Text

My cat has puked a couple times in the last week or two and just once was he ate a leaf or something but when he does it multiple times it's usually either he's dehydrated or constipated or eventually both, so please send whatever mystical good luck elves you have at your disposal to keep him from getting emergency room levels of sick in the next like 16 days until the two of us arrive home in vegas

#personal #if his litter box gets too stinky #even if it isnt actually full #he just stops using it and refuses to shit #which out here on the east coast means i have to clean it more frequently in the summer than the winter #bc the heat and humidity makes the smell worse #i ran out of litter and i was gonna get more yesterday bc i thought i had the day off #but found out very abruptly that i was wrong so i didnt get the chance to go #and i worked today and couldnt get it either #im gonna go first thing tomorrow but i think hes mad that its been a whole like 6 days since ive fully replaced the litter #unacceptable living conditions he will simply get megacolon instead #i dumped the remainder of the dry food that had been in his bowl since this morning and washed the bowl #dumped and washed and refilled his water filter #scooped as much grossness as i possibly could out of his litter box #and gave him some of the laxative he got last time he stopped pooping along with his wet food #and i just have to hope to every power that bees #that i caught it early enough and he wont need full on medical intervention that i absolutely cannot afford right now

0 notes

thinkinonsense · 1 month

Text

I KNEW YOU IN ANOTHER LIFEᰔ

dp&w!logan howlett x past wife!reader

cw: mostly angst, some fluff, sorta mean logan, cussing.

wc: 800+

a/n: this is inspired by a one-shot I read a while back but I cannot remember who wrote it. If anyone knows, please please please let me know in the comments so I can give them credit <3 update!!! this is it!!

｡ ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ ｡

The last person you thought you would find here in the void is Logan. There has never been a Wolverine in here. You almost didn't believe it when you found out; needing to see him for yourself. And here he was. Right in front of you, the Logan you grieved all those years ago. The one who stole your heart.

Your Logan.

"And who the fuck are you?" He barked, pushing you away from him.

Those words broke your heart the second they left his lips.

Wade smacks Logan, informing him of your past together. Logan looked like he didn't believe Wade at first. You were way too beautiful for any version of him, Logan thought. What would someone like you want with a man like him?

Tears well up in your eyes as you leave, not wanting it to sting anymore. Laura follows you, glaring at the man who looked like her father. Logan didn't seem to care about the new information, instead reaching for another one of Gambit's bottles.

"I'm sorry, mom," Laura whispers, wrapping her arms around you.

"It's okay, sweetie. I'm not sure what I expected to happen." You sniffle. "He just looks so much like him."

"I know."

Suddenly, Laura stood up and stomped out the door to confront the man who upset her mother. She found Logan sitting outside alone by the fire.

"Look kid, I'm not the man you and your mother think I am." Logan sighs, not even bothering to turn around to check if it's Laura.

"You made her cry," Laura hissed, ignoring his previous comment. Logan looked up at the young girl almost apologetically before shaking his head. "Her Logan would have never made her cry."

Logan felt a sharpness in his stomach at the news. Deep down, he wondered if you two were together at some point. He doubted it though because you looked out of his league. If a past version of him managed to marry you then maybe he did some good during his time.

"If you two haven't noticed, I'm the worst Logan apparently."

"You don't have to be."

ᰔ

It's late when you finally stumble out of bed, not able to sleep. Hours of tossing and turning, trying to get Logan out of your mind. This felt like a cruel joke on your poor heart. You know it's unfair to have him pretend to be your Logan but you desperately wanted it to be him.

All of your memories together haunt your mind like a graveyard. Sweet Sundays spent wrapped in sheets. How he kissed your face every morning, had you wear his dog tags, and ride on the back of his motorcycle. You would give anything to get just one of those moments back.

"What are you doin' awake?"

The voice behind you caused you to jump slightly. A hand coming to rest on your back. You turn around, face-to-face with Logan.

"Can't sleep." You shrugged, opening the freezer to pull out a container of strawberry ice cream.

"That shit won't help you sleep." He grunts, sitting at the table. You ignore his grumpiness and continue scooping the ice cream into a bowl.

"Can we talk?" Logan didn't look you in the eyes as he spoke. Too ashamed of his actions earlier.

"I suppose so." You shrugged, pulling the spoon from between your lips.

"Were we really married?"

You answer by pulling the chain around your neck for him to see. A small diamond ring dangled next to the dog tags he gave you. The moment he saw it, he felt like the biggest asshole who ever lived.

"How many years?" The words stung in his throat.

"Five."

"What was our life like?"

"Perfect." You smile softly down at your bowl. "At least it was to me."

"You did a good job with raising her." He muttered, referring to Laura.

"You would have to."

He's silent for a second, trying to wrap his mind around the idea of being a husband and a father. He wished he knew what it was like to be cared for as much as you cared for your Logan.

"You know, you have the same look in your eyes," Your voice was so quiet, stepping closer to him until you were in front of him.

Logan could see the desperation on your face as you stared at his lips. It would be wrong for him to toy with your widowed heart, but he wanted to be the man you needed. The man you deserved.

"I'm not him, sweetheart," He said, attempting to stop you before you hurt yourself. "And I don't want you to get hurt-"

"Please," You beg, eyes filling up with tears. "I don't care who you are. I just don't want it to hurt anymore."

You were slowly killing him. How could he say no to you? Even if he was the worst Logan, he has a heart. Which is why he lets you close the gap between the two of you. His hands are tangled in your hair while one of yours rests on his jaw before climbing into his lap.

For the first time in years, your heart began beating again. You and Logan could play pretend for now. Neither of you cared what would happen tomorrow, right now was all that mattered.

#logan howlett imagine #hugh jackman wolverine #james logan howlett #logan howlett #logan howlett x reader #deadpool and wolverine #logan howlett smut #logan x reader #wolverine x reader #wolverine angst #logan howlett angst #logan howlett fluff #logan howlett oneshot #wolverine x you #wolverine smut #wolverine #wolverine fluff

1K notes · View notes