#cancer tw //

[theolliesaurus]

i'm so sorry,, op.

february this year will mark 10 years since i lost my dad - he passed away in his sleep from an aneurysm in his heart. yet i still remember when we got the phone call - it was the morning and my mum came to wake me up. the news didn't Hit until a later date. i didn't know how to cry when i first found it all out; that he'd passed 3 days prior to the call and was found face down in his bed,, that my sister was preparing to tell him the news of her then pregnancy.

i remember i got out of bed because my mum wanted me to follow her into my sister's room. my sister was sobbing buckets on the bed. and that was when my mum broke the news. i didn't outwardly react or start crying. i don't remember feeling much of anything. but my sister wanted me to come forwards when my mum left the room,, and she just pulled me in close and hugged me. but i still didn't cry.

the one thing i did was turn on my laptop and start watching a video to escape the news instead. but i still didn't yet cry.

but instead the funeral in march was where i broke.

what hurts the most is i never got to see him one last time,, nor did i ever get to say goodbye. and i still feel so guilty about not being able to communicate with him anymore because of the trauma of what he went through in past years,, with his sudden fall that lead to a triple heart bypass surgery,, to which he then would have to remain in a care home for the rest of his years as it excelled his huntington's to the point he couldn't live or care for himself anymore.

and because i no longer have him in my life,, i fear what will happen when i inevitably will lose my remaining parent or how i'll cope - my mum is my carer as i can't live independently due to disability,, there's things i can't do to take care of myself and skills i'm not able to learn.

which then sparks fears of what's going to happen to my sisters and to me,, because i'm planned to be transferred over to one if anything should happen to our mum,, and then transferred over to another if anything then happens to the sister who's first in line to care for me,, and so forth and so forth.....

but;

two or three of my favourite childhood memories that i look back on often include how my dad would take me shopping with him in the car into the next town,, and the shopping center had a little cafe next to it - the cafe had one of those coin-operated kiddie rides outside of it also (it was Scoop from "Bob the Builder"). so when we had finished shopping,, my dad then took me into the cafe and he bought me a cake to eat,, and then would let me play on that kiddie ride.

or there was a moment where we drove to the next town in the car,, and he stopped at one point to buy us a pastry each,, and we just sat in the car together eating our pastries.

or just the simplicity of being taken to the library to rent out a dvd on the weekends when he came to pick me up from my house. then we'd walk on down to his flat afterwards where i'd stay for a couple hours before bringing me back home. i'd play games on his computers,, or i'd take pictures with his photography camera out the back window.

or how when we'd make cakes down his flat,, he'd let me lick the mixture in the bowl and off the spoon. and how he'd let me help out with putting the roast chicken in the oven for dinner.

i still have a piece of his flat. a bit of his wallpaper that was ripped. and yet it's tucked away in a cupboard below my computer.

i have his photography camera that he left me. and yet i just can't bring myself to use it.

i had his computer from his care home that he wanted me to have - because i would always do drawings on it when i visited. it was the one physical thing i had left of him that felt alive. and yet i broke down when it suddenly didn't work anymore. now it sits tucked away in our storage cupboard downstairs; because i still can't part with it.

i still have some money that he inherited to me that i still haven't yet touched or done anything with.

it all still hurts.

and what hurts more is my mum offered for me to see his body in the coffin on the day of the funeral,, but i declined and said no.....

No one prepares you for how crippling grief is, last year my mom died of cancer. I watched her decline so rapidly that my brain couldn't understand who I was looking at by the time she passed. I couldn't understand who I was by the time she passed because I had to become a vessel who makes appointments, dresses, nurses, cooks and an entity who does not sleep. I did it all alone. The reality is that cancer eats away at everything, it lives on even after the patient dies. It ate away at every part of me, I couldn't get out of bed, I had sleep paralysis, I couldn't stop seeing her... like that. They asked me if she's my grandmother when they carried her out of the house. She was in her early 50s. Do you understand? In 3 months, she began to look like she was 80. Everyone wanted me to move on after a month, no one called anymore, not even a text. I thought I was alone when she was alive, but this was a new type of isolation. One that I barely survived. (thank you to my mutuals and tumblr for being an outlet)

It's been a year and 6 months, today I realized she's not the first thing I think of in the morning, or the last thing I think of before I fall asleep. I couldn't even call to do paperwork before, now I'm forgetting why it was even that difficult.

The sun's out, I think i'm going to get ice cream without feeling guilty that it's not something she can do anymore.

[agent-jaselin]

Sketches from “Quiet Steps Away from You Lead”. By Including some just inspired. Really like this page in my book.

[mysharona1987]

A doctor’s angry letter to United Healthcare after they denied covering his patient’s nausea medication needed after his chemo.

[petorahs]

part 1

[hussyknee]

Alt text included in everything but the art. Not sure how to describe those. If anyone wants to try I can add it to the alt.

[probablybadrpgideas]

Do healing spells increase cancer risks ? Specifically, the spells that boost your own body's ability to heal itself. Your asking it to create a bunch of cells in a short span of time.

­new dark fantasy setting that's just the forgotten realms with more cancer

[kleefkruid]

Hey, so, medical update:

So as I told two weeks ago I had surgery where they cut part of my crevix because the cells where one stage away from turning cancerous (CIN3)

Today I received the results from the lab, where they analyzed the tissue in detail. and the first thing the doctor said was “so we got there in time!”

Turns out I had an adenocarcinoma in situ, which are non-invasive cancerous cells, which haven’t had the chance to break out of their protective membrane aka they couldn’t do real damage and all the things cancer does.

She showed me this image and pointed to the black line between CIN3 and cancer and said “we were here, right before the break out”

My specific situation was a 1 in a 100.000 apparently, which, eh, crazy

Very odd to hear you have cancerous cells after they got fully removed. Can’t compare my situation to someone who had to get full chemo, but it’s sure not a normal situation either so I’ll have to unpack this later.

But yeah as it stands now I have to get a pap smear every 6 months to make sure the HPV doesn’t try to start the party all over again.

Which brings me to repeat once again: if you’re eligible for getting a pap smear test please have them done bc cervical cancer doesn’t show symptoms until the very late stage, this is your only way to know!

[shurisneakers]

FINISHED CHEMOTHERAPY AND MY LAST SEMESTER OF COLLEGE 🗣️‼️🔥‼️🔥‼️🔥‼️🗣️‼️🔥‼️🗣️🔥🗣️🗣️

[lornteeleaf]

Todays Video on the CR channel made me increadibly emotional.

Thank you, Sam for sharing your experience and encouraging others to get the medical care they need. I for one really needed to hear that.

Also, as Sam said: please go get the HPV vaccine if it is available to you.

Much love to Sam and every Critter out there struggling with Cancer, you are doing amazing.

I'm so exited to see more of Braius with the Bells Hells soon!!

[ohithankyou]

every once in a while i remember ravi saying that “enjoy it while it lasts,” is his motto and chuckle to myself because that line was, for all intents and purposes, a throwaway piece of dialogue meant to provide some lighthearted comic relief. but, then i think about it in the context of ravi’s childhood—which had him in and out of cancer wards for its entirety, getting chemotherapy every weekend—and those words suddenly begin to hold a far greater and deeper meaning than ones simply meant to convey comic relief and i—i don’t find myself laughing anymore.

[compassionatereminders]

I'm tired of people being all "yes of course I support addicts but also smokers are the most disgusting, stupid people in the world and they should be fully segregated from public society at all times and also I hope they all die of lung cancer like they deserve for being stupid enough to touch cigarettes". Nicotine addiction is not your get out of jail free card for such behavior just because it's "gross"

[mycenaae]

ravi's little "that's my motto!" about enjoying it while it lasts in 7x09 was likely meant to be a throwaway line to bring him into the conversation, and he does not seem to be saying it cynically at all, but if i think about that line too long in the context of him being a pediatric cancer survivor i will lose what's left of my marbles

[angelshizuka]

Small nightmare Tilla analysis from someone with her own dead mother trauma (yay...) Just as I expected from the trailer, this scene came for me personally and I don't know wheter to hate or thank Brandon for it.

What personally got to me was how Blitz wasn't just hallucinating the things around him, but also how he preceived himself, aka as the age when his mother died.

I dunno about other people with dead parents/loved ones or if I just still haven't processed my grief properly yet, but I always mentally regress in age whenever I think about my mother. Maybe it's my brain trying to pretend she can't be gone if I'm still that age, I really don't know, grief is weird. I'm not entirely sure if that was the intention behind it, but seeing it visualized like that hit me.

But it's especially this part that had no right to go as hard as it did.

We still don't know all the details of what happened inside the tent, like if Blitz found her dead or had to witness her burning alive as he failed to save her (knowing this show's track record it's probably the later). I didn't lose my mother to fire, but the concept is still all too familiar to me. Seeing your mother, who's literally burning on the inside (tumors can go to the worst kind of hell) still force a smile through the pain and tears for the sake of her child as she's withering away... is the literal last memory I have of seeing her alive.

I mean, this scene is without a doubt written so well and I'm positive it still heavily affected even people without similiar grief/trauma, but for me who does have that... I think what scares me most about this scene is that I know I would see the exact same thing if I was under the same influence as Blitz is here.

Bonus points for having Blitz wear a piece of his mother's clothing, that's also something I do. Me and my mother had the same size, so her entire wardrobe went to me. It's comforting, like a piece of her never truly left and is always with me. I totally get why Blitz is so attached to it and I'm so happy he didn't lose it. It seems to be the only thing from his mother that survived the fire.

[mysharona1987]

[aldereign]

so on top of med school and the election and all this stress, a primary reason for my absence has been time spent with my family. my dad was recently diagnosed with colon cancer and has been undergoing treatment. i likely will not be having a permanent presence here any time soon, and i'd love for any thoughts & well wishes sent my family's way during this time. thank you.

[homoquartz]

hypochondriac tip: some cancers only appear to be increasing because our imaging tech and other testing measures have improved