#can't wait to tackle these for you

[stars-are-just-ghosts]

Calling all Harrisco Readers: It's Prompt Time!

Well... I'm at it again. It's one-shot prompt time! -does a little jig- I need the 'writer's motivation.' And you all have always been so supportive and full of imaginative asks! You always make my nerdy writer heart happy, and I'm so excited to tackle whatever you choose from this next series of prompts. If you don't know me, I'm QuietDarkness on Ao3 and stars-are-just-ghosts here on tumblr. I have one shots, novel-length stories, and series on Ao3, all dedicated to our favorite ship to end all ships. (I have many other ships. But this one will always have a special place in my heart.) So please feel free to pick a combination of up to three numbers, and I'll do as many as I can for this round of 'she's gotta write all the things!' Pop them in my ask box, and I'll write them as they come in. Thank you for reading, and thank you for sharing. (Seriously, the shares and comments are monumentally important to me. Y'all are my favorite.) So, with no further ado... here's the list! Sentence prompts: 1. "I'm going to punch that guy." 2. "What exactly do you need radioactive materials for?" 3. "That is NOT what how that works!" 4. "I can't think when your shirt is off. I'm officially protesting." 5. "Wait, wait, wait... you did what with my sweater?!" 6. "I'm like... 75% sure this won't explode when we turn it on." Physical whump prompts: 7. broken bones 8. poison 9. very bad cold/flu 10. stitches 11. bruises Emotional/mental whump prompts: 12. one thinks the other is dead; happy outcome but angst beforehand 13. one is running out of time; other makes last minute save 14. both have a disagreement that causes a rift; they find a way to move past it 15. one has insecurities; other helps them through 16. one is jealous; jealousy causes an issue with other; eventually figure out how to move past it 17. one is constantly trying to push the other away until one figures out the reasons why and confronts them Intimacy prompts: 18. First kiss 19. First time 20. One gives the other a massage 21. Sharing a shower 22. Fooling around at work Established Relationship Prompts: 23. Marriage proposal 24. Adopt a pet 25. Adopt a kid 26. Birthday celebration 27. Holiday fic Fluff Prompts: 28. one gives the other a perfect surprise 29. one pines endlessly for the other; the other figures it out and makes the first move 30. one makes a list of all their favorite things about the other Other: 31. A request of your own; be as specific as you want, whatever you want! I look forward to getting your requests! I'm SO excited! EEEEE! - Love, QD (Gif credit belongs to their creators)

[byanyan]

one thing: *goes wrong* byan: well. time to go pierce my nose again.

[iamthepulta]

aw, balls. I put off my take home final until this week because I've been out of sorts, and I was going to take today to relax and gather myself, but I forgot the deadline and the deadline is today.

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible

[kurokrisps]

Wait people actually think Jack's a good person I thought that was just a joke?

[rivilu]

Haven't had the chance to play actual dnd in real life, but In this run I get the sense that bg3 perfectly captures the "party progresses in a weird sideways way that bypasses tons of the dm's prepared lore, so the dm takes revenge by dropping a near impossible encounter on them" vibe I hear so much about

[randomnameless]

Thoughts on these… “interesting” interpretations of the main 3H countries from a Twitter user?

“I don't get thinking that any of adrestia/faerghus/leicester are the "good" country like. the text of three houses makes perfectly clear that all three of these countries have very serious problems and one of them *is* imperialism. all three do it.”

“all of the main protagonists want to change the way their country is run! you don't need to be like "oh faerghus is the Good country" faerghus' current leadership is explicitly very bad. they committed genocide four years before the game starts. adrestia *just* annexed brigid.”

“I'm very confused as to how you can see sylvain wanting to end border aggression with sreng and dimitri & dedue wanting duscur returned to its people and be like "faerghus is a Good Country"”

Methinks someone drank a bit too much Earl Grey before writing these tweets.

For a second I had war flashbacks from that link @tomeofthoron sent me some time ago about a video where someone tried to make historical parallels between Fodlan and RL countries/states -

But thank goodness I misread lol

Maybe you cut it, but the Twitter user didn't mention Leicester lol

(maybe because it would mean giving some fucks about Almyra being a shit state, and you can't do that without creating holes in Claude's stories, that are never closed)

And it's again a situation of people using words they don't understand, whatever happened with Faerghus in the, uh, immediate years before the game isn't imperialism - Sreng attacks the border for ressources, and Duscur was framed for regicide so wrongly received "retaliation".

Adrestia tried to annex Brigid for years and treat their princess like crap - and also, because that twitter user might have, uh, forgotten it, it has a percentage of people who wants to MAGA, which is exactly what happens in game when Supreme Leader declares her war after calling the other nations "offshoots" of her Empire.

For people who apparently love earl grey, you can compare the head of a state who routinely orders invasions of an archipelago, punishes people who don't live in his state and has a "make my empire great again by unifying the world under my banner" to a state whose head was decapited by dissenting bannermen who frame other people leading to their massacre, create a quasi-civil war and are totally not backed up by the previously mentionned Empire.

Faerghus is in a state of political unrest since the death of Lambert, which led to the massacres in Duscur - and they're trying to protect their border with Sreng.

Adrestia wanted to MAGA and routinely invaded Brigid while being "politically stable", the Insurrection not having any incidence on those policies.

So, hm, between the two, I'll still pin the "most imperialist" medal on MAGA Adrestia.

But Faerghus BaD because it's developped as falling to ruin which makes everyone put their hopes on Dimitri (with the results we know) after regicide - when Adrestia wants to MAGA and MAGAs in the game thanks to Supreme Leader...

Tldr: Faerghus BaD - Dimitri BaD - Rhea BaD

[nekrophoria]

.

[phoenixiancrystallist]

Month 6, day 18

(╯°□°）╯OBJECTS!!!!

I'm not even done. I still have stuff to do to that cylinder to make it look like a slightly melted candle. I've been at this for five hours. The course said it would take three ;-; I am WIPED. OUT. XD

[mimimarilynart]

@toastedbuckwheat Happy birthday my love🥰🥰

[seas-of-silver]

okay, so first of all - I love, and they totally would

second of all, I reckon they'd adopt regardless as to whether they're able to have kids or not, and I reckon they'd adopt as many as they're able to, you know?

like Adrien would look at a child and see past their outward masks and would be able to see the loneliness and desire to be a part of a family - concepts and feelings Adrien can more than relate to - and he'd want to give them the home and family he didn't have, and he'd be all 🥺

and Marinette, who loves to help people and has a massive depth of love and care, and she knows they have more than enough room in the manor to give a home to these children (I'd imagine Adrienette would redecorate/rebuild the manor to bring more life and love to the place, and erase the taint that was Gabriel Agreste on the home, and would turn it into a place filled with good memories and love), and that she would do her absolute utmost to love and care for them and give them all the support, love, and respect her parents gave her and she'd be all 🥺

so Adrienette are just both going 🥺🥺🥺 and are trying to casually convince the other that adopting is a great idea, not realising the other is totally on board already (just because they're married doesn't mean the silly shenanigans wouldn't stop, naturally)

I'd also imagine that Adrienette wouldn't be picky about who they adopt, either - sure, they'd probably come up with a list of traits, ideal age-ranges, and other such things (Marinette was busy scribbling a mind map as Adrien handed her different coloured pens so she could colour-code it all while they were brainstorming), but I can imagine them not caring one iota about what they thought they'd be looking for if they found a child they really connected with.

Like, for example, I'd imagine that they might walk in to an adoption centre/orphanage type place, thinking they'd be wanting to adopt a little bubba (say between 1-3 years old), but then while they're there, they meet an older child (say between 8-13 years old) and they're just completely besotted with this child and are like 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 "omg I think we have just found our child" and after talking with the child for a while, they're like "we think you're wonderful, would you consider being adopted by us?" and they then are trying to be so cool and calm (spoiler, they're not, but they're trying their best to hide it) as they wait for the child's opinion.

Maybe it'd take a few visits and stuff for the child to decide whether they want to be adopted by Adrienette (as you said, the child has their own stuff to work through, and their Ladynoir-as-their-parents fantasy they have to come to terms with potentially not becoming a reality, considering this couple really wants them to be a part of their family), and so Adrienette is like "we totally understand this is a big decision, so please take as much time as you like to make up your mind", presenting themselves as patient and supportive (which they 100% are), but then as soon as they're home they're like "what colour do you think they like?", "should we start remodelling the bedroom? it's not too soon, right?", "they looked a little cold when we went over last time, should I knit them a jumper?" and can't stop thinking about this child they desperately want to adopt. Eventually, when the child decides they want to be adopted by Adrienette, the couple are over the moon, and have to hold back from throwing a massive party immediately in favour of helping their new child acclimatise to their new life (they're only able to hold off for about a week).

I can imagine that Adrienette try to keep the kwamis away initially from their new child, to give them time to adjust (and also try to figure out how to tell the new member of their family that they won't be at home during akuma attacks because they are actually the superheroes who fight the magical villains), but the kwamis are too impatient, and about 2 months in, Adrienette hear a loud BOOM from one of the rooms, and they go running to their child, fearing they were severely hurt, their hearts pounding, terror coursing through their veins, and imagination running wild with all the worst-case scenarios they could potentially encounter, when they discover their child happy and safe (despite the giant smouldering hole in the wall), surrounded by the kwamis, and turns to their parents and gets worried they're going to be in trouble, and is like "I'm so sorry! These little cute floating creatures came to visit me - I think they are called kwamis? and they're like tiny gods? they were super nice and cool, and I thought they were friendly, and Roarr was just showing me their powers - which are super cool, but I didn't realise it'd make a giant hole in the wall and I'm so sorry-"

and then Marinette sighs and is like "Roarr - we've talked about this; no using powers without a holder. Remember what happened last time?" and Roarr droops and goes "I destroyed Uluru." and Marinette continues to reprimand the kwamis for not listening to her, when the child eventually shakes off their stupor and turns to Adrien and says a clueless "what?", Adrien shrugs and goes "Two years ago we went on a holiday to Australia and the kwamis wanted to go, so they came with, but Roarr had too many durians and-" and the kid just goes "No, I mean, what's happening? Wait - you know the kwamis?" and then Tikki flies out of Marinette's pocket to berate Roarr when they hear an explosion go off in the distance and she tells Marinette they need to fix it quickly. Marinette, having completely forgotten that they haven't told their kid their secret yet, transforms into Ladybug, casts the cure and repairs everything), and then detransforms, only then realising what's just happened.

and that's how their child finds out they were adopted by superheroes.

tbh I really like the idea of married Adrien and Marinette adopting their kids. Both because it's kind of a flex on Gabriel and Emilie (who thought that the appropriate response to difficulty conceiving was to hunt down ancient magical artifacts and then create a magical son that they could puppeteer and control...... because adoption/surrogates were apparently.... beneath them. or something.) but also because I just think it'd be really cute.

Like, imagine Ladybug and Chat Noir, heroes of Paris, adopting Parisian orphans. imagine Marinette and Adrien struggling to get on the good side of a "difficult" traumatized child who used to spend their days in the foster system fantasizing about Ladybug and Chat Noir saving them without realizing the new parents trying to connect with them rn ARE Ladybug and Chat Noir. Imagine them fostering kids themselves and just being A+ stellar parents between Adrien's patience and Marinette's attentiveness and both of their affection. idk I just think there's a lot there and it could be sosososo sweet

[steddieme]

in most fics i've read robin is grossed out when steve talks about his sex life, which is probably far more in character for her, but hear me out

imagine them discussing literally everything. like having no boundaries whatsoever.

one day robin mentions she's never seen a dick and she's curious what all the fuss is about.

robin: you have one

steve: yeah...?

robin: so show me

steve: ??

steve: sure, why not

when steve pulls down his pants, robin just stares at him with a blank face

robin: that's... it?

steve: what do you mean that's it??

robin: it looks sad

steve: ??? well, it's not hard rn, obviously???

robin: ugh, boring

steve: you want me to show you my hard dick?? is that what's happening rn?

robin: i mean yeah?

steve: your judgemental face is forever burned into my mind. i don't think i'll ever be able to get hard again.

then robin bursts into his room like a week later

robin: steve, you're a slut-

steve: hey!

robin: so you know your way around a vagina, right?? i need you to tell me if i have a rash or not

steve: do you not own a handheld mirror?

robin: i'm freaking out so much, i can't make a sound observation rn

steve: *sigh* alright

turns out robin does indeed have a rash and steve takes her to the doctor

at one point they lose all shame. steve regularly air dries while robin hangs out in his room. robin makes steve do her monthly breast self-exam. they check each other for ticks.

when steve and eddie start dating steve tells robin literally everything. robin knows way too much about eddie and she loves it.

robin comes over for movie night, eddie is already there

robin: how was your day?

steve: we slept in, then eddie fucked me, it was great-

eddie: *chokes*

steve: then we cooked lunch, there are some leftovers in the fridge, go ahead and eat. yours?

eddie: ???

robin: ugh, don't get me started-

eddie: wait wait wait, how did you just say that so casually?

stobin: ???

eddie: that i fucked you??

steve: i tell robin everything. i told you that. you said that's fine.

eddie: i didn't know that included our sex life?

steve: why wouldn't it? ... wait, oh no, are you not okay with that?? i'm sorry, i thought you knew??

eddie: oh no, it's fine! it just surprised me is all. y'all are real freaks, carry on

stobin: okay then

robin freaks out before her first date with a girl

robin: what if my vagina looks weird???

steve: are you planning to fuck her on the first date, buckley? and how many times do i have to tell you your vagina looks absolutely normal??

robin: no, i'm not, but it's still a valid concern!!! what if my vagina looks hideous to girls??

eddie, the silent observer: lol

steve: what are you even talking about... a vagina is a vagina, vagina lovers love all vaginas

robin: stop saying vagina

steve: vagina vagina vagina-

robin tackles him and they end up wrestling until steve yields

steve: okay okay,, as someone who's seen his fair share of coochies

robin: that's even worse

steve: yours looks perfectly fine.

eddie: wait, you've seen it?

stobin, staring at him: ...

eddie: right, dumb question

[himbosandhardwear]

"Look who's talking, Mr Ponytail and a Crop Top," Steve says with a smartass grin.

Eddie looks down. "Huh?"

"You," he waves toward Eddie's general vicinity, "looking like some kinda Metal Cheerleader." He noticably swipes his tongue over his bottom lip.

Okay. This is it, this is the perfect moment to tell Steve he's sending signals that he definitely doesn't understand he's sending.

"Steve," he has to clear his throat before continuing, "I need to tell you something."

He leans in, wide eyed and focused. "Yeah?"

That's not helpful. "Um. So, to guys like me... Gay," he chokes out, still hard to say aloud even though he knows Steve knows, "sometimes you say things or do things that come off as...flirty. And I know you didn't know," he rushes to explain, "but I wanted to make you aware. To not do that. You know, in case the wrong person overhears it. It's a safety concern," he finishes lamely. Safety concern! Ugh. More like 'You're breaking my heart, I can't take much more of it.'

He waits for Steve to say something but he's just blinking owlishly.

"Steve?" He prompts, concerned.

"......yeah?" He finally seems to come back to himself. His eyes drift away, over Eddie's shoulder. "So...you want me to stop flirting?"

"Yeah, just in case, you never know who-" Wait. What? "What?"

Steve still isn't looking him in the eye. "What?" He mumbles.

"Did you say..." He can't even repeat it, it sounds like putting words in his mouth, but he did say that, right?

"Yeah. Sorry. I'll stop. I didn't realize it was bad, I guess. I thought... It's stupid. Nevermind. I'm gonna, um, take off actually. I'll see ya around, maybe."

He hops off the back of the van and actually starts walking away, like they're not 6 miles from his house. That snaps Eddie out of the paralysis spell he was under, adrenaline taking over like a bump of cocaine.

"No!" He shouts, like an insane person, and then takes it one step further by jumping up and tackling Steve into the grass.

"Uggff," Steve grunts when Eddie accidentally shoulders him in the gut, but he ignores the embarrassment in favor of crawling up his body so they're eye to eye.

He gets Steve's face between two hands and smooshes it. "Were you flirting with me on purpose?" He shouts.

"Are you serious?" He mumbles, half coherent, through pursed lips. "I'm gonna jump into the quarry."

"Answer the question!" He rattles Steve's head a little bit, for good measure.

"I work for Scoops Ahoy." Steve deadpans, unamused.

Eddie is going to throw one hell of a tantrum in a second. "Steve."

He smacks Eddie's hands away from his face. Doesn't bother to move out from under Eddie, he notes absently. "Yes, dude, obviously I was flirting with you on purpose! I thought that was, like, an understood thing that was happening. Why are you surprised?"

He feels like he's losing his mind. Why are you surprised the grass is made out of taffy? Would've made more sense as a question.

"Because you're straight." The duh is implied.

Sensibly, he asks, "Why would I flirt with you if I was straight?"

Eddie becomes very aware of every inch they are pressed together. Aware of the sound of the leaves rubbing together in the wind, aware of Judas Priest still playing through his speakers. Love Bites is a hell of a track to be having this revelation to.

"You're not straight?"

"No."

"And you were flirting?"

"Yes."

"With me?"

He rolls his eyes, not an ounce of bitchiness lost to his embarrassment. "No, Eddie, with the crusty blanket on your van floor. Yes, of course with you- Mmmphh!"

They probably shouldn't be making out on the ground at Settlers Quarry in broad daylight but, honestly, the shambling corpse of Jason Carver could show up right now and Eddie would not give two shits. Steve slides a hand down the back of Eddie's pants, grabbing what little bit of ass cheek he has, and Eddie thinks, Hope you're watching from hell, you bastard. Enjoy the show.

[idiopathicsmile]

School Gymnastics: A Tragicomedy

So one day when we were in third grade, our P.E. teacher divided us into girls and boys. (I don’t remember what the boys had to do. Wrestling? Tackle football? I don’t know, probably not at age nine, but that’s not the point. Gladiatorial combat? I still don’t really understand kids’ sports.)

What matters for this story is that all the girls had to do gymnastics. Now—and I suspect this won’t surprise you if you know literally anything about me—I was always terrible at any form of school athletics. I am intensely, almost impressively uncoordinated. This doesn’t affect my life much at 36, but it was often a miserable way to be a kid. The only playground game I liked was playing pretend, because when you are playing pretend, you don’t have a bunch of people ostensibly on your side screaming in your ear, “Pretend faster! Pretend over there! Pretend with greater accuracy!”

Anyway, gymnastics and my clumsy, doughy little body. I couldn’t do a cartwheel. I couldn’t do a backwards somersault. I couldn't do any of it. We had an entire unit on this business and I literally did not learn how to even safely attempt a single move besides the log roll (lie flat and roll sideways on your belly). In retrospect, this seems like maybe it was in part a teaching problem, not a me problem, but that’s actually not the point either.

The point is, at the end of the unit, we were told to divide ourselves into little teams and choreograph a group gymnastics routine. My group, faced with my long list of limitations (more limitation than girl, really) decide my role will be to just forwards-somersault around the rest of the group as they do their moves. (This is itself kind of embarrassing but trust me, it is but the appetizer.) My friend Ashley has the Lion King soundtrack and we all agree that it is a great choice. The movie has only come out a couple of years earlier, and it of course features some funny, peppy options. 'Hakuna Matata'? 'I Just Can't Wait to Be King'? It's all coming together.

Carried on a wave of youthful enthusiasm, none of us even think to double-check which track Ashley has picked. Foreshadowing!

So the day of the performance comes. Another group goes right before us. They had picked “Wannabe” by the Spice Girls, which was a huge hit at the time. I mean, it still is because it’s a classic, but then it was big and new. They step onto the mat and immediately begin to do choreographed dance moves, which they have worked into their routine. We had not thought of this. Oops. Dance moves, of course! So they incorporate the necessary gymnastics, it goes over really well, the energy is high, and now it’s my group’s turn.

I take my place at the edge of the mat, the mat we are required to stay on for the length of the piece. Ashley cues up the track she’d chosen.

A song starts up. Instantly, I recognize it from the movie. It is the very slow instrumental music that plays when Simba realizes his dad is dead.

‘Well, this is not optimal,’ I think. I've been on this planet for nine years; I can see that much. But it’s too late to change the track, and so I tell myself, ‘It’s okay. I’m a performer. I can sell this.’ I put on an extremely solemn face and begin to execute a series of the world’s saddest somersaults.

Friends, when I say “sad” I mean it, in every possible sense of the word. Picture a nine year old with the gravest possible affect, determinedly doing somersaults to the slowest, most serious music she can imagine, in a careful ring around her friends who have actually learned any gymnastics whatsoever. Okay, now as the music starts to pick up and get more hopeful, imagine she gets real dizzy and in front of everyone, she rolls all the way directly off the mat, careening dangerously towards the assembled students.

Somehow, I roll myself back onto the mat, we survive what feels like hours of humiliation, we stagger away, and I blessedly avoid adding “puking my guts out in front of all of my peers” to my very short list of gymnastics tricks.

Later, I asked Ashley what in the world possessed her to choose that song.

“It didn’t have any words,” she said.

(There was absolutely no rule against using songs that had lyrics.)

Anyway, that’s why being an adult is better than being a kid.

I may have to do laundry and make my own dinner and wrestle with more complex existential angst, but you know what I haven’t been asked to do in like 26 years? Somersault for three minutes straight to the musical shorthand for “this cartoon lion cub has no choice but to process the weight of unimaginable grief for his dead dad.” And you know what? If I live another 50 years, I can be pretty confident nobody will ask me to do it then, either.

[queenie-the-court-jester]

yandere bunny hybrid x reader

A/n: the Intro was rushed because I got too excited to write the smut. Not proofread 🌺

Tw: noncon turns to dubcon, androgynous breeding kink, little dirty talk, he's a horny bastard. Mommy kink but it can be applied to any gender. Slapping body parts, he has a minor lactation kink. Mdni please!

★you met the little furball while you were out on a evening walk. It was the middle of winter and being cooped up inside the house all day was starting to get a little claustrophobic

★you didn't notice him at first since he blended in with the snow. Stopping mid-walk when you heard a weak little whine coming from behind you. Slowly turning around, you saw a pair of red eyes staring at you from beneath the snow

★approaching them slowly, you could finally see him more clearly. Milky white skin turning a light blue due to hypothermia. He didn't have the strength to run when you picked him up. Patting his head, you headed back home.

★giving him a warm bath and setting him next to the fireplace, you slowly nursed him back to health. He was very reluctant at first, but your touch was too comforting to pull away from. He hasn't felt this safe since he was just a baby bun! He stayed with you nearly the entire winter

★midway he starts to get himself familiar with your home, peeking under furniture and into rooms, he seemed to understand you when you'd ask him questions in English

"what's your name little fella?"

"cotton.."

★eventually you had to let him go back into the wild, just a month before spring arrived. He was reluctant but with enough convincing he finally left. Looking back at you from the forest edge, watching you wave goodbye with that beautiful smile he loves

❣️cotton who goes into heat early because he can't stop thinking of you. Burrying himself in his burrow, humping the air. Nothing is as soft as you and your bed. Nothing can make him feel as safe as your touch does

❣️he shoos any females who wish to mate away. Claiming he already has a mate. Oh he wished you'd come into the forest looking for him, to take care of him again as he fills your tight little hole up with his cum

❣️he spends most of his time shamelessly masturbating to the thought of you. His entire heat cycle has been on loop since he left, so finally gathering the balls he heads back to your cottage. Watching you from a distance, lazily stroking his already sensitive cock.

★just minding your business, you don't notice the certain bunny hybrid approaching slowly. You don't have much time to react before a familiar mop of white hair tackles you to the ground. Desperately humping your clothed sex as he whines and grunts.

"cotton!? What the hell are you doing!?"

"hah- nhg need.. mate.. pretty mate.. need to breed! Ohh!"

★you tried pushing him off, but when did he get so strong!? Pining your arms down and ripping your clothes off, wasting no time in lapping at your genitals. Eating you out like a starved man, sucking and nipping your inner thighs until he's sure you're nice and lubed up

★he carefully pressed the tip in, but he doesn't last long as he slowly sinks deeper into your gummy walls. Letting go of your arms and roughly grabbing your hips, which were sure to bruise later, brutally fucking your brains out. Slapping your chest and privates as he grinds his cock deeper

★he keeps going even after he's ripped multiple orgasms out of you. The pleasure slowly chipping off your resistance. Leaving you a blubbering moaning mess under the bunny. A pool of his cum under where your sexes kept meeting.

★it doesn't matter what gender you are, he's determined to breed you until you're swelling with his children. He couldn't wait to suck and bite your chest once it was swollen with milk!

"gonna be so pretty- mph! So pretty, all swollen 'n fat with my babies.. gonna be a good mate, right? G-gonna give me lots of 'em right? Oh ohhh! Cumming again! 'Yer squeezing all my cum out! Mommy!!"

★let's just say that you should get use to your new roommate husband, because now there's no way of getting rid of him. Ever.

[sunderwight]

SV fic where Shen Yuan transmigrates into the former sect leader, Yue Qingyuan's shizun, right before Yue Qi shows up at the selection trials.

Shen Yuan is not sure why he's in one of his all-time hate-reads, let alone why he's gone so far back before the story actually begins (his system appears to be malfunctioning? something about an error and emergency backup...?), but he's making the most of it. This despite the fact that being a sect leader is a much more prestigious and political role than he likes.

But Shen Yuan is, at heart, actually a pretty good teacher, and he's spent enough time witnessing administrative work secondhand that he can competently tackle most of his duties. Whatever he can't handle, luckily there are other masters on Qiong Ding who always seem eager to curry favor by volunteering at the least hint that they should. Apparently his predecessor was known for being kind of cold-blooded and ruthless. (Shen Yuan gets checked for possession and it's concluded behind his back that he most have lost some of his memories, again, but also everyone kinda prefers this version anyway, again.)

But, so, he picks Yue Qi at the trials without even realizing at first who he's selecting, but just because that kid seems really determined to get in and clearly has been through it. Reminds him of Luo Binghe. Even when he puts it all together, all he feels mostly is kind of bad about it? He never thought Yue Qingyuan was sufficiently villainous to merit his end, even though he didn't blame Binghe for it either. He was always a mystery, an apparently kind person who nevertheless had some inexplicable fondness for the scum villain, turned a blind eye towards his abuses, and got dragged down with him. Shen Yuan feels even worse when he actually gets to know his solemn, smiling, secretive little disciple.

Yue Qi is very determined to advance, and as quickly as possible. Shen Yuan admonishes him. Obviously this kid has a protagonist-like aura and a similar drive to get places quickly, but you can't speedrun your disciple era, Mr. Future Sect Leader! There's no montage mode! Most of his attempts at intervening meet a brick wall that is Yue Qi's impenetrable smile and polite deference if he even hints at displeasure (this kid's gonna make a great politician one day), but Shen Yuan changes tactics and starts manufacturing excuses for breaks, taking Yue Qi on him with trips off the mountain and finding reasons to stop at local festivals and hot springs and etc. He can tell something's off with the quality of frustration that his disciple sometimes expresses, with how there's fear to it, but he's at a loss for the cause and it's difficult to get Yue Qi to talk. Despite appearances, he's actually very distrustful of adults.

When Yue Qi asks to claim his sword early, Shen Yuan says no. He remember how reputedly powerful Xuan Su was, and his disciple definitely needs a stronger base if he's going to pull a sword of that caliber. But he suspects this won't go over well, and when he catches Yue Qi sneaking off to Wan Jian Peak on his own, his disciple finally breaks down and admits that he needs to get strong in order to save his most important person.

Shen Yuan is moved. The way Yue Qi speaks, he's certain this person is a young maiden whom his student has fallen in love with. Truly, the sect leader was so very similar to Luo Binghe at heart! He must have failed in the original story, and that contributed to his difficulties and sorrows later on. Of course Shen Yuan will help him rescue his sweetheart!

Even if his sweetheart is... surprisingly butch? And is a slave owned by the Qiu family, and, wait a second, that name is kind of familiar... oh.

Oh dear.

Shen Yuan is internally screaming even as he helps buy Xiao Jiu out of bondage, even as he gives Yue Qi money to get his newly rescued friend all cleaned up and suitably dressed for the trip back to Cang Qiong, even as he buys the boys tanghulu for a treat, even as the System cheerfully informs him that his new quest is to get Xiao Jiu accepted onto Qing Jing Peak, even as Yue Qi tears up for the first time when he thanks him for helping.

He can only get to sleep that night by consoling himself with the knowledge that his generation is going to retire well before Luo Binghe and The Plot actually show up.

The System: (〜￣▽￣)〜

5 Years Later:

Huan Hua Palace Master: Sect Leader, we need your help! A terrible Heavenly Demon has come to threaten the whole of human society!

Shen Yuan: That's not possible. He isn't even born yet.

HHP Master: What?

Shen Yuan: What?