#can't wait for his release specifically so i can find out more from his trust

[agentundercover]

So Jane calling him Pubsec Prince might've been very literal! Very interesting, I wonder if his brother was also at Pubsec at some point

[sarnai4]

Opening Up

About opening up...Dagur kinda doesn't. (Spoilers ahead)

This is something I've seen some fans talk about where they say Dagur would reveal personal information easily. I see where they're coming from with this. Looking at Dagur, I'd expect that too. He's outspoken, emotional, unrestrained, etc. He seems like someone who could randomly say, "I had a good cry today," and it wouldn't be anything surprising. HOWEVER, that changes for me when I look at the proof from the show. If Dagur was half as open about things as this would imply, then we wouldn't be forced to speculate so much about his past and the things that have happened to him. In another case of me spending too much time studying Dragons (probably. Still worth it), I tried to collect all the examples of Dagur sharing information. They have something in common. Each time, there's a specific reason. I'll go in chronological order.

In "Enemy of My Enemy," Dagur tells Hiccup how revenge can make you do things you didn't think you were capable. This was an interesting moment of really getting to see how the villain we saw Dagur be wasn't who he always was. It even shocked him how extreme his actions became. This has the potential to be some heavy stuff, but he didn't just outright say it for fun. He said it because he saw Hiccup going down that same path. This isn't, "I can't believe the things I've done and really need someone to talk to." It's, "I see you following in my footsteps and they led me in a terrible direction. I don't want that for you."

It takes Dagur F.O.R.E.V.E.R. to admit he didn't kill Oswald. Even as a good guy, he doesn't say it easily. In "Family on the Edge," he implies that something Heather said out of the sent her adrift, killed their dad, and tried to kill them list wasn't true, but he doesn't just say it. He writes it in the letter, admitting that and how he was worried that the other Berserkers wouldn't follow him otherwise. If he wanted to do it for emotional release reasons, he could've just said the first time or even told her way back when he thought they were on the same side. Rather than that, he puts it in a letter so that her final relative won't be quite as bad as she thinks he is.

In "Searching for Oswald...And Chicken," Dagur has two moments. First, he tells Heather how he's spent most of his life in varying stages of existential crisis. (Just wow for that. Wish we had heard more about it because that is quite the emotional load he nonchalantly dropped) Again, this clearly isn't to get something off his chest because it's not even something he brings up again. He just tells her so that she'll have proof he knows what is meaningless, hopefully getting her to stop throwing herself in harm's way to find Oswald. Later, he tells Hiccup he keeps anger, frustration, and rage to himself. This also isn't to share so much as to prove he can keep secrets and deserves to be trusted with the location of Vanaheim.

Then, we have "In Plain Sight." There, we find out he used to get bullied. He waited until as much of the last moment as possible to tell Fishlegs and Snotlout this. They had already flown from the Edge to Berserker Island and were literally walking down to meet Ansson. So, I don't think it's him wanting to share sensitive information. It's him knowing they're about to be there with the bully and since Ansson doesn't care about playing nice, it's going to be obvious that he used to bully him. This is just softening the blow a little by telling them first. Didn't really help, though, since they still laughed at him being called "Dainty." (Not cool even though I get how weird it would be to hear someone call him that)

Unless I'm mistaken, that's everything. I don't think there's another time when Dagur reveals something personal. Each of these had some deeper purpose. This is why I don't believe Dagur would start speaking about his past traumas without a prompt. Now, I'll say I do enjoy having him talk about this in stories and I support other writers who do. I just believe it takes a little nudge. He's not going to sit down next to someone and talk about his time in jail. He has literally never spoken about his time in jail in the entire show except the first RTTE episode to say that he spent 3 years thinking about Hiccup. So, it actually leaves a lot of room to be creative with what his past even has first, then what situation would get him to spill the beans.

[janus-cadet]

So, I've been watching Hazbin Hotel, and Helluva Boss.

Loved it. Therefore, obviously, to none of my friends' surprise, I added the fandom in that nonsensical tarot project of mine- and it starts with Lucifer, the short king himself, as the Five of Cups.

(The Devil was already taken, which both caused me immense amont of dismay, and just as much relief, because that version of Lucifer does NOT fit the Devil card as much as he could.)

Now, under the cut (only for the braves who can handle a long post spoken in broken english), the mandatory explanation for the choice of the card and the composition.

A joyous card, isn't it! Ahah? Totally. Let's get right into it.

The Five of Cups, Upright, often appears in a reading when a situation hasn't turned out the way you expected, leaving you sad, regretful and disappointed. I mean, you just gave one (1) apple to humanity, just to give them free will, and look what they did with it! What the hell, literally! You are blaming yourself, and instead of moving on with your life (despite the small inconvenience of being banished to an endless pit of evil and horror), you ar choosing to wallow in your self-pity. All you can focus on right now is what went wrong and how you failed. You're stuck in the past, and you can't let go; old wounds you never closed are keeping you from trying to create some positive changes. Which is why the card is here: to help you forgive. Forgiveness, to others and to yourself, is the only way you'll be able to release yourself from your sadness and disappointment. Remember that foresight and wisdom in the present moments comes from mistakes of the past: reflect on what led you to this point, and try to find something positive by reflecting on the lessons learned. You can rebuilt, you still can challenge an unfair system, despite everything! New possibilities are waiting for you, as shown by your daughter. You just have to be ready to accept it. Shift your mindset and focus on what can go right from this point forward.

Reversed, the card suggests that you might look at yourself specifically as a failure. You are stuck in a loop of self-loathing, and can't bring yourself to open up to others about those feelings. The reversed Five of Cups card is here to encourage you to open up: people around you may not see how much pain you're in right now, so don't be afraid to ask for help or talk to someone you trust.

You cannot undo the past, and just as Lucifer at the end of the first season, you are starting to accept that. You are slowly discovering how to be open to the new opportunities and ideas shown to you; you are finally starting to be more hopeful anout the future. You may not be fully okay again, you might still be in pain, but you are taking the first step: the card encourage you to keep doing so. Focus on the bright side. Not all is lost!

Lot of talks already, so I'll quickly go over those. The cups (that I spend too long on for such a small detail in the whole piece agh agh) are, as I drew them, a symbols of the regrets and the remorses felt. The regrets are the titled, broken cups: Lucifer's marriage, his relation with his daughter, and the dreams he had as an angel. Three things that feels like they are lost, damaged beyond repairs- but that are, in fact, still within reach. The content hasn't even spill yet. The remorses are the acts that can't be undone, and the effect on the vision he has of himself- the bitten apple, and the beastly devil that can't be trust. Those are te things he keeps blaming himself for, and the source of the self-loathing he's stuck into. But! He's turning his back on them, as a way to show he is not as linked to those things as he thinks he is. One is a thing of the past, the other is merely a shadow of who he is- what's important is what lays in front of him.

And that's it for today! You're still here? Dang, you're resilient. Thank you very much, hope you enjoyed this. And you're just in time for a little ending poll!

See, I started two other WIPs while drawing Lucifer. Therefore...

[blondbo]

hi! hi! hi! so here is the first few parts of a qsmp fic i’m writing!! it’s honestly pretty shit but i just want to get it out there!!

general premise: q!tubbo is one of many deities of what in the future will be quesadilla island. specifically tubbo is in control of the weather but is not totally vibing with his powers. he finds that he really doesn’t have any powers at all but rather just reactions. the federation has just come in large floating ships to come investigate the island for future potential islanders. tubbo, feeling he could be more useful than just his powers, he helps the federation. So here it is! will prob be on ao3 but i didn’t know i had to wait to be invited SADGE. anywhere here it is:

Section 1:

They came from the west as giant floating barges of their proclaimed glory. White arches covered rows and rows of halls and offices to match with glass revealing to revelers some vision into their perfectly curated bubble. But one arch proclaimed some dominance over the others on each ship as they were much taller and not covering any hall but had the air to show off each facet. Though I found the flying mechanics to be much more of an interesting aspect of these pompous barges and maybe their only facet worth the celebration the others proclaimed. No fire, rather six hollow circles on the bottom of each. The only part that wasn't drawing attention to itself because there was nothing to truly see there. Maybe that was the brilliance for me.

That was the world I created around me; nothing showy or caustically exclaiming to you how everyone should look at it. Every cloud I create are for themselves, and maybe if you like that sort of thing, then you can appreciate them. But they don’t call to you. Unless you’re a bull and a rain is all that calls to your thirst.

No matter the wants of the bull, I knew from the moment I could see them that they were assholes. The Federation they would later tell me. What they didn’t tell, what I would have to learn, is that they are assholes, the whole lot of them.

Section 2:

I had learned a few things in my life even if I didn't understand where it came from. I learned to worship the sun for her ever present dances in my glade. That even if the weather that flowed from emotions, it was not mine but someone elses creation I was fortunate enough to even be able to wield. That the bulls or the flowers and even the moss were not mine but a duty to take care of even if I don't know who bestowed it on me. I learned to tolerate the rain and snow even if it exploits me. I had learned trust in the world around me for it trusts me. Until that face.

I had been perched in a high willow on the outskirts of the swamp to enjoy an evening of her last flickering dances. I hadn't taken much notice the growing buzz of their ships, maybe I let it doze me off to sleep. A sleep until they were parked right on the beaches and a loud thunk. I had no time to blink off the sleep as I watched their barge unfurl like a laxed tongue to release figures of white. The first few were dressed in drab pallets of grey and more grey that reminded me of the rain again. I hated the first fools out of instinct. They were only there for the next few in jackets of assorted blues and oranges that balked at nature in their artificial hues. And maybe the few in jackets were only there for the one I was truly disgusted by. He was a bigger, more amicable seeming figure from the way that he took his body down the incline. The taller figure was the only

“ person” I made me think that maybe I was wrong about the rest of them. There was a certain natural kindness to him, atleast that’s what I surmised. Then he turned his head towards me so I shifted my body higher up the tree. I saw its face. The rest of its body knew it was alive or as much of life as it could since it took on a certain fluidity. But the face. I remember my legs pushed me up out of fear. The face was stuck in time, a sinisterly happy memory that can't tell if it hurts the thing or not. To remember.

Either way, he was seemingly taking in parts of the island but I couldn't tell if there was a sort of happiness to it. I don’t think it could appreciate as he was stuck in that eternal happiness through his face.

All of them were following his lead even if they couldn’t emote at all, just looking around and trading notes or scraps. I don't think they knew how to talk, though if they created transportation like that then maybe they just couldn’t at all. No use in even learning. And I guess I felt bad for them. Found it all pitiful.

As they encroached more into the glade, I watched as they planted more unnaturally-colored things into the ground: flags, poles, stapled paper into those poles. More notes at a rapid pace until they found a more active life in a pig. I leaned over on what seemed to be my hiding spot to get a closer look their poking and prodding with pencils and random metal sticks. And looking back the pig responded with a sort of affection as he was only ever used to those kind of touches. Then one of the orange fellows passed a note to the main smiler, it nodded. A note was passed to one of the grey ones, then they pulled a grey machine-looking thing. A spark, a splatter, a squeal. I lurched forward and with a quick breath of my own surprise (or horror) took me out of the tree and onto a few branches before I landed on the ground.

“My own stupidity” I said, and funny enough my words seemed to take more of their attention than any display I made.

A colosseum of blank faces with that fucking smile centered as though he was their jewel.

Section 3:

I found something I never learned was to keep my mouth shut. I had once beat a demon in a game and may have said a few arrogant remarks after winning. Maybe I hit a nerve because she made me hallucinate an ever present shadow for the next month.

So I was blunt in my introduction, an introduction I would argue was the beginning on the end.

“Who are you?” I asked rather openly.

But my head started to buzz and a voice from I assume the smiling creature said, “Hello, what are you doing?”

A laugh wormed its way out, “What am I doing? Who are you to ask this?”

“What are you doing?” the buzzing repeated.

“I just want to know what you’ve done with my friend, the pig?”

I was handed a notebook seemingly originating from the creature.

Written was:

Hello

We were sent from Federation to examine this island for a potential developing project. The action towards the pig was out of scientific inquiry and nothing to be alarmed by. To further our understanding of the island, you are to immediately identify yourself.

So I was kind and obliged.

“I am Tubbo, one of many deities sent to protect and foster the isles. And one of my duties is to protect said creatures, even from scientific study. Though I do not wish to fight you. One thing for your study, I am fair.”

Another book:

Hello, Mr. Tubbo! It is very wonderful to meet you! We at the Federation would like to extend a hand and ask for assistance as we traverse the island.

“I would like to, I guess, but was is all this for?”

“Classified” said the buzzing.

“Oh good!” I breathed a little in as some kind of reflective moment passed over me. I was not here for myself. I was here for the island, to make her home for others. Maybe this is my opportunity to be more than just their rain and clouds. Maybe I was more, I thought.

[seasonal-writes]

hi bestie :) for the 500 words or less thing He can hear Tango calling to him from below, hushed shouts about time fizzling away, but with the shine of Impulse’s eyes and his trembling fingers held out.. Jimmy feels compelled to wait. He thinks to apologize, to say something, anything. But his words are caught in his throat, mind breaking away from their adrenaline-soaked escape plan and brought to the moment at hand. “If.. he gets hurt out there, I swear I’ll.. I’ll kill you,” Impulse growls.

!!! hi my lovelyyy :D honestly i should have predicted you would send in this part. OKAY. buckle in. so, um, first of all: i am fucking obsessed with this whole scene. when i was writing chapter 7, this was the first part i wrote and then i built the rest the chapter around it. because i was so in love with this emotional moment of impulse finding jimmy, and not tango like he'd expected to. gr!impulse, to me, is a devastating character. his role specifically HURTS THE ME. just- just imagine. something something- you've had your eyes on your charge for years and years and he somehow manages to slip past you, which he has never done successfully till now—and then the bells are ringing in your head because something is Off. you know him inside and out, and you know he has always been slippery, but never this slippery (never this out of reach, never this far from you). and something tells you to run, like there isn't time. then, when you reach him, it isn't him. and unlike ever before, your heart breaks. and distantly, you know your friend is out there. out of sight, which makes your skin crawl all over again. and you can't reach him, not in time. not without damage. but you're scaring the boy in the window, because that's just what you're good at, being scary. but then the tears are falling, your voice is cracking, the exterior falls. you know this is for the best, because it's so beyond you that there is nothing to do, which is always the case in your position. there's no stopping it (and what would stopping him do? why would you ever get in his way? you could never hurt him like that.) so you let them go. you let him go. anyway. i really love the tiny twist of it being impulse and jimmy in this encounter. it would've been far too easy for me to just write a quick, painful goodbye between tango and impulse, and SOME DAYS i kinda wish i did, but that's wayy too expected. and there's something so.. trusting about giving that final message to jimmy. it's the passing of the torch, a silent release of the reins. i just like it a whole lot because it ruins me emotionally. I don't,, know if this really counts as commentary, i just.. i have a lot of feelings about impulse's perspective throughout this bit. and i thought it'd be fun to kinda write it out! i dunno! if i have more thoughts i'll definitely add them somewhere. but here u go for now <3 thanks for the ask, bestie :)

[kirishimasmom]

Let me tell you what I went through to FINALLY HAVE HIM.

A while back, I can't remember if it was 2021 or early 2022, this plush set went on preorder.

This is Shino's first and only official plushie. The others here have all had plushies, but most of them haven't had one in over a decade or more.

I could only find it on a couple of websites at the time, one of which was toywiz, which I don't trust after having multiple bad experiences with them in the past, so I ordered from another website which I can find no records of at this time or remember the name of, but I did research and find to be legitimate at the time.

Their original release date was early 2022, I can't remember the month, but I want to say sometime between March and May. But that came and went and they never came out. I kept waiting and waiting, with no sign of them ever being released anywhere I could easily access and also no physical photos of them from anywhere, only this stock image which is not the actual physical plushies but rather a mock up design.

I would often look for them on Yahoo Japan and Japan Mercari through buyee, but had no luck. My Figure Collection still had them listed as having come out in 2022, but only two accounts on there period had any of them listed under 'owned' and had no photos posted.

For a while I gave up and assumed they must have been cancelled. Because not a single one of them had ever shown up for sale even on Japanese sites. I was devastated, because all I've wanted for years is a Shino plushie.

But a few weeks ago I decided rather than searching for these specifically by character I would search buyee for "Naruto Tomonui"(but in Japanese) instead. I've done it before, and it usually brings up the many other Naruto Tomonui plushies there are. But this time, amongst those, I saw the first physical evidence these existed, an actual real life photo of Kankurou!

I about lost my mind for a minute because until then I was fully convinced these were not actually made. When I translated the title of his listing it translated to 'foreign exclusive'. I thought that was odd. I kept looking and could not find a single other plush from this set for sale on any Japanese sales site.

So I kept scouring google to look for more photos of them, trying in various languages. I ended up finding a photo of Gaara. Gaara has a Tomonui plush already, but it's in a different outfit, and this photo had the two of them side by side, so I knew it was the right one. When I reverse google image saerched it I found a French anime merch website that had actual real life photos of every single one of the plushies from this set except for Shino, Kiba, and Kankurou. It also had all of them for sale other than those three. I do want everyone from this set, but my main priority here was Shino, and then Kiba. So while I was super excited to see photos of the others (Lee is especially cute and I want to get him soon too), I WANTED TO SEE SHINO. AND ALSO BUY HIM.

I kept looking and mostly reached a dead end. I found someone on TikTok that owned Lee, another person on TikTok that owned Neji, and that's about it. I gave up for the night because it was 4am.

And then I ended up looking every single day for a week straight. After a while I gave up on finding photos of them and decided I should just try to find them for sale. I could only find them on European websites. European eBays and European anime merch sites. There was no sign they had released anywhere outside of Europe thus far. I figured maybe that was what that seller on Japan Mercari meant by 'Foreign Exclusive' but it seemed weird to me that they wouldn't even release in Japan.

Even weirder, when I found them on the Bandai website's list of items it said they had only released in the US. Maybe they will in the future, but so far the only non European website that has them for sale is ToyWiz, where the release date has been slowly pushed up over time for over a year and a half.

Now onto the next dilemma I had: All these European websites would not let me either buy the full set or pick a character. It was always a random selection. The ones that did let me pick did not have Shino. I finally ended up finding a website in Bulgaria that had Shino and let me pick, so I bought him and Kiba! But when I bought them my translation of the checkout process got messed up and my address was messed up. Thankfully I was able to email them to fix it immediately.

AND NOW THEY ARE HERE. ABSOLUTELY WORTH ALL THE HELL. I'll probably get the others when/if they are a little bit easier to get ahold of. I don't know why this was so difficult. But it was very worth it.

SQUEEZES HIM

[frogwheeler]

ah where to start with these two....

This is a SEASON 4 STRANGER THINGS SPOILER POST

(specifically) pertaining to mike and will's dynamic this season so far demonstrated in volume 1

*you have been warned*

for some reason I stand oddly/surprisingly confident in byler coming together or at least it being set up for season 5.

But I definitely do agree with the wording behind some critics reviews referring to their dynamic as "anxious" or "oblivious" or "the duffers could have pushed more on their storyline especially will's as a character in general"

The duffers dipped their toes in the kitty pool, if they ARE going in the direction of byler (which would make the most sense) I would hope and wouldn't be surprised if they used the time inbetween volumes' 1 and 2's release (pride month) to hint at a future upcoming in byler.

I feel the reason there was no Cali gang in episode 7 happened for a reason, like a directorial choice: in some TV shows they will focus on a particular subplot of the series for an episode (usually) to then in the following episode show the unseen of the other storyline that was happening during all of the events that were shown to the audience. I believe that is what the duffers chose to do as a way of separating Jane's story from mike and will's to mainly focus on their developments as characters SEPARATELY and hint toward a confession or proper set up for season 5 between mike and will.

If they choose to go in that direction I'd expect the dynamics of their relationship to reach a head and be a focal point in season 5, most likely towards the end of the season a possible kiss or even a proper establishment with (I'm hoping with Mike's "can't communicate his feelings ass") of their relationship

To me, and a good majority of viewers/byler believers or shippers, It would make sense considering the show's history with couples that they wait for the main couple/pairing/love triangle of the season to be resolved by/at the end

Which I feel @demadogs just explains it so well in

This season right out the gates shows the change in mike and el's relationship. Compared to a year and 3 months ago where we first left off with them.

Season 3 Mike vs season 4 eleven (not jane)

•In season 3:

The main troubling cause in mike and el's relationship is the fact that mike keeps on insisting on lying to Eleven instead of being upfront and honest about his feelings to her (in the most petty arguments might I just add), even after admitting he needed to learn to trust eleven more, but he still chose to go to the lengths of avoiding his feelings entirely when they were brought up to his face (mike and eleven's last conversation in the cabin)

The liar: mike

The lied to: eleven

•In season 4:

The tables appear to be switched this season as the person insisting on lying to their partner Is El towards her describing her situation in California to mike. Even going as far as to try and entice Will on going along with her *flawed* plan (which he strongly protests against and ends up telling mike anyway, he just can't lie to him can he)

The liar: eleven

The lied to: mike

mike can still be considered a "liar" in this case based on how he tried to switch the situation on to El when he was confronted on his lack there of, usage of the word love not only to eleven's face but also refusal to write it down when he sends eleven letters: using "from" instead of "love" to his girlfriend el. But I genuinely don't believe that he sees how he's behaving in the situation as lying (I personally see it as more of more of temporary aexithymia; a difficulty in identifying and describing feelings and in distinguishing feelings; which is only temporary for him once he faces his problems instead of trying to push them off)

Mike's refusal to refer to El as jane

Though it may be a childhood nickname everyone refers to her as I still find it interesting: the correlation between mike's desire to "grow up" while still keeping things the same and his internalized homophobia.

in the buildup to the argument right before Jane calls Micheal out on never using the word love as she questions weather or not if Mike "loves her anymore", (because he's never said it to her. period. not in person. not in a letter when he couldn't even see her face to be nervous with constant reassurance from her that she reciprocates the feelings he can't seem to put to words for her) you hear mike reference Jane as 'el' a countless amount of times, almost as if they were highlighting his refusal to expect current situations and the new name she goes by now, so many times that there's this noticable hesitation from Jane before she goes off on mike.

I personally believe that mike saying he loved her that day in the cabin and that day only was a way to have people take him seriously and a way to prove his point in the argument when cornered by everyone and being called out (notice how he always manages to deflect the situation onto the other person when he's being rightfully called out? He did the same thing when will told him off for only calling "a few times") and a misinterpretation of the TYPE of love he feels for Jane

"don't let those mouth breathers ruin us"

This line in particular really stuck out to me as if reminded me of seasons 1 and 3 mike: the possessive mike and the mike that belittled Jane and used simple words to talk to her (which is understandable considering her vocabulary was very little), mike knows the term 'mouth breather' stuck with eleven and as I see it the writers chose that word specifically to showcase Mike's refusal to trust and allow eleven to grow in the relationship (as if he's gripping onto this idea of eleven and refusing to let go keeping things in these "on edge" tension arguments that never get resolved while she's transforming and coming to terms with who she is: Jane Hopper)

No matter how hard mike tired to push away these feelings and physical triggers (will's entire existence and Jane standing up for herself confronting him on his refusal to say to her face or even write in a letter that he loves her) these indescribable for him feelings only seemed to grow stronger and take over his entire mind this season on what he should do in the matter and what he should/"should've" said to El because he felt like maybe then she would've wanted his help with want she's going through, had he said what she WANTED him to, mike LITERALLY SAID THIS regardless of his confusion on his emotions.

The love El wants him to give vs the love he feels towards her because what if they don't like the truth (mike AND will were subjects of that conversation not just will)

Superhero el

Every time this season when Mike is referring to Eleven this season it's as a "superhero" or "someone who's saved the world" which also seems to be used as a counterargument for him as to why he couldn't not love Jane because she's a superhero.... Not like there's any OTHER way more valid reasons to use in the situation of your insecure girlfriend asking if you even live her or not.....ok micheal.

"what if I don't want to be whole" - Jane when having a conversation with Brenner about accepting all of her, the good and the bad, to get her powers back, to "be a superhero again", also what she writes in her letter to mike which is noticeably is followed by a "from, el" instead of "love, El" like her previous letters to mike which seems to take a tole on him sending him into a state of self wallowing and questioning what would have happened if he TOLD JANE WHAT SHE WANTED TO HEAR

Mike and Will's very obvious tension at the airport and roller rink

I am so so so so so so so so SO glad they had the first interaction of will and mike be MIKE acting like he barely knows will

I mean wtf was the "hey 😀 how's it going" *shoulder pat* like me AND will had the same sheer confusion and disbelief across are faces.

what I found most interesting about mike asking will about his painting: which does hold a strong representation of will's feelings for Mike. Is that mike was aware that will was painting, possibly for a girl, someone he might like as El stated in her letter, so I think when Mike asked will about his painting there was that tiny glimpse of hope that it could've been for him, but idk tho I could be reaching a little with that one, it's just something about that interaction struck out to me, he didn't bother to ask how he's been nor give him a proper hug just asked a shallow small talk question and immediately went to ask about his painting. which when you let that sink in from mike's perspective it does really seem to appear to be jealousy, a word one of the reviewers did use to accurately describe mike and will's dynamic this season.

Will's painting holds a strong significance to their story

We are shown that will didn't get to show mike his painting he made for him because he felt like an outside and a third wheel to mike and jane + Mike's constant projection of self reassurance insinuating that they're "friends" to subconsciously protect himself from the fact that it's "not the same" without will in hawkins and it wasn't until mike sat down and had a mature conversation with will and properly apologized to him that will regains enough courage to possibly make his feelings towards mike more clear in volume 2 (possibly in the episode that might focus on the Cali gang) which I love seeing will being more straightforward and already having been come to fill terms on how he feels towards mike and being ready to express those feelings.

Worst case scenario with this build up situation (which I don't believe will happen but I have seen it being discussed): this could be the set up to a possible "bury your gays" trope before we get any proper resolution between the two's undiscussed tension even after Mike's apology which I highly doubt they'll do because it takes a lot to sacrifice a main character after a confession 🤨

THE APOLOGY WILL FUCKING DESERVED

The apology scene held a strong parallel to the "crazy together" scene and the "not possible" scene which honestly surprised me that both the duffers and the characters were being so open in that moment. the reading each other's minds, the looks, the fucking looks bro, the being HONEST (which is clearly something the duffers are trying to implement is not something el and mike seem to be able to do), mike admitting 👏he 👏was👏 in👏 the wrong👏.

which i may add, mike wasn't able to do time and time again not only in arguments with eleven but also his argument in season 3 with will AND against at the roller rink making it seem like it was will's fault that he didn't call as often or write after will admitted to him open and honestly that he felt as if Mike barely wanted anything to do with him anymore to which mike got defensive and quickly added that El was his girlfriend then proceeded to ask Mike, "what about us?" (Now...) And mike says they're "friends." Which he repeats as if that's gonna change Will from hearing it the first time. Almost as if the writers were highlighting Mike's constant projecting....hmmm.....we know that argument hurt will deeply when he states that he and mike "used to be best friends" which mike took notice of without needing to be spelled out for him like last season (him paying more attention and opening his eyes) which makes him drop the situation entirely only for it to be brought back up again later.

honesty the whole scene was just ... :')

The scene makes you feel as though a since a relief has washed over the two of them, despite still lingering tension of undiscussed feelings they may, or may not have.

to me the scene was not only an apology but s subtle way of having MIKE be the one to admit that in the last year and especially when he got to California he was in denial at first pushing will away only to come back closer and stronger than they were before.

p.s. I love how the apology was written in the "dear billy" episode *sniffles*

"cool"

"cool"

Their connection seems to only grow stronger and closer with every conversation they have, rebuilding that trust and "best" friendship between the two after mike felt like he "lost" will after being caught up with Jane and will feeling like a "third wheel" and ignored when it's all 3 of them together which was continuously heavily implied when they were all together with the long shots on will's face after panning from mike and jane holding hands for example.

The duffers have a decision to make, it's a "will they-won't they" situation with these two which was very purposefully and clearly stated as soon as mike and will had their first interaction when Mike came to visit that the question would not be dragged into season 5 and would be answered by the end of the season of how they choose to proceed with the development in relationship between mike and will.

Obviously that decision was already made, no changing it now, that would be viewed as flip floppy (no pun intended on micheal) and lazy writing personally. we'll just have to wait and see, I feel very confident in the turn out and I'm encouraging other byler's to do the same, the season created a lead of misdirection and a conflict of internal feelings within the characters and the viewers watching the show which I'm sure was intended (in ways: my season 4 full review explains it all and my personal opinions on this)

To lose underestimating byler's romantic growth: the feeling you're feeling right now: like byler being set up romantically in the next volume is as good as taking a shot in the dark, that means there's something there to lose, something that's been developed that can't be ignored and had to come to an answer. There's no avoiding this.

Looks like we'll see the choice the duffers went with on July 1st ;)

but let's just say I won't put all my eggs in one basket.

[hopeswriting]

colonnello is the just some guy of the arco by the way. and he's the only just some guy among them because civilian as he may have been, skull obviously has never been just some guy a day in his life. and i know tragic backstories are always a nice way to spice up stories and characters, but no, listen, colonnello is literally the most average just some guy you'll ever meet, i just know it. and if nothing else just consider it for a bit for how funnier it makes everything about him.

it's like, he's a kid and makes himself a friend that just so happens to be the world's greatest hitman to be, and then just commits to it because that's what good friends do right, and it definitely got him into dangerous shits way before he could join the army. and even if we say they weren't actually childhood friends and reborn is just a troll, on the worst day of his life where he was just minding his own business trying to save the love of his life, who among the seven people he ends up cursed with decides to fuck with him and make them childhood friends? that's right, the world’s greatest hitman.

he joins the army and meets lal and falls in love with her, but she just so happens to be one of the world's strongest to be, and it dooms them both. he tries to protect her as you do with the love of your life--or you know what, we don't even have to go there because he could simply have been doing his duty (tho he totally could have been doing both, and likely was), i.e. having the back of his superior officer, so like, the guy was just doing his job and didn't really fail at it but sure as hell didn't succeed either, and also now he's stuck in the form of a baby and his whole life as he knew it is over. but he takes it as a champ right, decides he'll still keep smiling and make the most out of that now shitty and hopeless life until it kills him properly, but then a couple of decades later some guy releases poison in the air to specifically kill him and take his pacifier from him he doesn't even know how to and can't use anyway.

eventually he gets the chance to make his life not shitty and hopeless anymore, and also, you know, to not die, and it's clearly a trap and he doesn't trust it but also he'll never have another chance like that again, and instantly he decides that if he actually wins he'll save the love of his life instead of himself, but then his representative loses because he wanted to have a moment with his son. thankfully things still work out and no one dies, except he'll have to grow normally back to his original age from his current state as a toddler, while the love of his life immediately got back her adult body (which he's grateful for, obviously, but you know). and he still proposes to her because he's been waiting for this and she says yes because she's been waiting for this too, but then they fight and have to postpone the wedding because he just CANNOT WIN.

like, do you see the pattern here, it's so fucking funny. it's like, life just has it out for him, it just went "hey, you? i'm going to screw you over any way i can at literally every opportunity", and meanwhile colonnello's just trying to live his life in peace lmao. and maybe it's not narratively interesting or whatever, but don't look me in the eye and tell me it's not funny as shit. (tho with the right skills you could easily make it out to be a tragic thing too, like the guy just keeps losing whatever he does even when he's trying his best.)

but on a more serious note because i feel like colonnello isn't taken seriously nearly often enough, but i really love how all of this shows just what kind of person he is and what kind of person he chooses to be and stay as over and over again. like he's just so optimistic and believing? not naive or unrealistic, but whenever he looks at the world dead-on and sees nothing worth hanging in there for, he just goes "alright, i'll just have to find it/make it for myself then". like, he could easily also have broke down after the curse like most of the others, but no, he was still breathing and alive, lal was still breathing and alive, and the curse wasn't going to kill them right away so you bet he kept smiling and resolved to find some joy in his life still, which unbeknownst to him gave lal just enough hope she didn't kill herself over the curse.

also he's just such a loving person at his core too? it's how he actually ended up becoming reborn's closest friend, whether they were actually childhood friends or it happened post-curse, and when he had to confront reborn's hitman side he probably just went something like "just don't kill me or the people i care about and i'm sure we can make this work". and of course how he tried to save lal from the curse, how he was there at all to begin with specifically so he could save her from it, and how he planned to get rid of her curse instead of his, and how he died saving viper in the future. and ginger bread taunted lal about it, calling him the failed hero or something like that iirc, but it's literally not about it, and colonnello in fact couldn't care less about being a hero or whatever. he just has his heart in the right place. and if it means dying so he can remain true to it, then sure, he'll die without hesitation, even if he'd rather not and it sucks that he has to.

it's just, like. i've said it before, but the whole curse thing happens to him because he's such a loving person. he was never going to let lal climb that mountain without him, but he could have. if he was just a little less loving, if he just loved a little less devotedly, he wouldn't have been on that mountain at all that day, and his life would still have turned shitty because lal would still have ended up cursed, but nothing would have happened to him. except, of course, he was never going to let lal climb that mountain without him.

and i just?? lose my mind a little over it tbh. and love him for it. i love him so much, is what this post is saying, and we don’t talk about him nearly often at all.

oh and ALSO!! i do mean he's just some guy, i'm not saying he's a normal guy at all. because he isn't lol. he's totally just as unhinged as the rest of the arco, and i mean, he did end up genuinely being reborn's friend one way or another, so there's clearly something wrong with him too lmao

[yjwhatif]

With the semi/cryptic confirmation of Ed and Barts relationship in the series I have a question:

Do you think everyone knows about them (in world) or do you think they’re keeping it secret from some?

It’s just a thought that’s been in my head recently. It is most likely fuelled by the whole drama of G&B not being able to depict a “specific character” (it’s definitely Bart) as gay. They’ve had to hide the relationship from their audience - because of ridiculous reasons - but there are still moments that bring up the question - Are they? Before the reveals from AskGreg, I kinda thought- well they are clearly not together yet, but perhaps they both have feelings for one another and are just waiting for the other to make the next move because they’re nervous idiots who don’t want to have read the situation wrong — all while their friends are like - seriously guys? just get together already. Kinda like they did in s1 with Wally and Artemis - and I guess early Supermartian as well - which I would have been okay with... though with the likelihood of there being at least another two year time skip you’d probably have missed the getting together moment - which would kinda suck. Anyway. With the information about the chances being they were supposed to clearly be in a relationship throughout S3 — which makes the whole structuring of ILLUSIONS just make sense — it’s got me viewing their moments with a whole new energy. Also, I saw this post by Greg —

And let me just clarify, I have no idea if this is actually referencing the Ed and Bart stuff, it might not be (probably isn't). This is purely me speculating.

My reading of this is they got told they couldn’t depict Bart as gay pretty late on and that specifically affected ILLUSIONS where they likely intended to confirm the relationship with that first shot - the kiss on the cheek moment. Even now that moment is just odd - because it’s there but it’s not - because technically there is no actual kiss… which I think is absolutely the point. It plants the seed without actually breaking any rules - all by keeping the momentum but removing the specific kiss frame. It’s the only moment that I feel is explicit in saying they are in a relationship - everything else you can just read into and imply there’s something - but they technically don’t confirm anything.

The whole thing is actually quite interesting - despite the reasoning for it being totally ridiculous. By keeping/showing what they did... People notice it. People talk about it. People reflect on it. More people talk about it. People writing. Make. Create. Discuss it. An entire audience is formed who want and support it. It’s a whole thing now because people noticed it and generated a positive response to it - and that was before all the AskGreg information. The whole reason YJ got a season 3 is because the fans fought to get it back. Enough people talked about it - and kept talking about it - to convince TPTB that the show should come back. Greg and Brandon know this. They know the power the fans have and maybe they hoped that power would help them again in freeing Bart from these ridiculous restrictions. #letbartoutofthecloset

Obviously, we can't know until S4 is released whether G&B got the permission to confirm Bart's sexuality the way they envisioned - but maybe the responses that came during the release of 3b were enough to convince TPTB that they were fighting a losing battle. But who knows, people in power can be very stubborn at times, so we will just have to see what we get. Fingers crossed they eased up though - and not just because of the Ed/Bart relationship (which I am obviously a fan of -- it's fine if not everyone is) - but because these restrictions on LGBTQ+ content shouldn't be a thing and need to stop -- there is just no validity in them.

Anyhow. despite their not being allowed to officially confirm the relationship, Greg's comment about Ed's having a boyfriend they can't name basically confirms the fact without technically breaking any rules again. Masterfully done Wiesman. With this, it implies the pair are in fact dating during S3 which brings us back to the original question... but who knows??

With the comments of Virgil during ILLUSIONS, it's easy to assume their friends do in fact know. They also seem to have no problem being close and interacting with one another whilst in the presence of others -- that is, except for one moment...

Ever since the first time I saw this episode (ELDER WISDOM) I have always found this moment strange - because Ed seems to get kinda awkward when Barry comes to check on Bart. (Or that's how I see it at least.) He realises Flash is standing there and immediately pulls his head down averting his gaze -- almost like he doesn't want to be seen by the elder. But why? Does Barry not know about the pair -- or maybe he doesn't know about Bart and Ed thinks their current closeness is too revealing -- who's to say Bart's even fully out to the world yet -- who's to say either of them are? We certainly don't since we weren't allowed to be shown. We can't know until we know - so until then we can play the speculation game while we wait.

Bart is certainly a bit of a secret keeper when it comes to being himself. I'm still convinced the Bart we see onscreen is merely his interpretation of what he thinks people expect from a speedster in this time. We saw 'real' Bart, he was snarky and cynical and nothing like the Bart we've had for the past two seasons. He said it himself - he's playing a character - and I don't think he knows how to break out of it - not while the possibility exists that it might hurt those he's grown to care about. Bart wants to be seen a certain way to avoid acknowledging the truth of the past - if people see him as happy and smiley, then no one will question him on things he doesn't want to talk about. The problem with that is you can't hide yourself forever - cracks begin to form and eventually, the truth comes out whether you want it to or not. So who knows how comfortable Bart is revealing any of his true self to those he cares about. Maybe his relationship with Ed will be the thing that finally helps him find comfort in being himself, whilst also trusting others to still accept him as himself... and maybe getting him that bit of therapy he really needs.

This brings us to Eduardo… First, can I just say it made me so happy to see Greg’s confirmation of Ed being gay - though it is slightly annoying that he was robbed of his explicit onscreen reveal in S3 thanks to the drama with Bart. His whole relationship to his powers in S2 to S3 fits the representation of coming to terms with your sexuality/identity from a very negative point of view. Feeling like it’s something that needs fixing or needs to be “cured” - to then finding the light and freedom in accepting yourself for you. His growth between seasons is brilliant. He understands the hate and insecurity the teens are feeling because he felt it himself. He does all he can to help them because he never felt he got that help when he needed it - and no one deserves to feel worse for being who they are. Obviously, the things he talks about are framed in the context of dealing with/accepting the meta-gene - yet there are certain moments where it seems he’s saying more than that…

All of which got me wondering - why did Ed originally runaway? It certainly wasn’t because of the meta-abilities he did not yet have. All he’s ever said on the subject was he thought he wanted to be with his father - the man it seems he barely had a relationship with. No, I think Ed has been running from himself for a long time and his dad just happened to be an actual direction for him to aim for. The way he speaks about his wanting to be “cured” and “praying to get rid of his powers” suggests an upbringing around religion and traditional ideas of there being a ‘normal/proper’ way to be — while anything that doesn’t fit that way is treated as other or something that needs to be changed or 'fixed'. Maybe he ran to avoid being found out and run the risk of being ostracised by those he loved. Or maybe he was found out and leaving wasn’t entirely his choice*. If this was the case, I can certainly imagine him not wanting to come out to his dad for fear of his reaction and completely losing all chance of that father-son relationship they’re both trying so hard to keep. It can seem easier to live in secret than risk the reality of loss. So while the meta-gene likely wasn’t the main thing he was angry about in S2, it was able to become a physical thing he could blame and focus his anger on - without having to think about where his issues truly lied… Though with a bit of time it also became the thing he was comfortable conveying his feelings through...

“I’ve learned to accept, even love my meta-abilities”

I love this line so much and it’s all because of the delivery by Freddy Rodrigues. There is the slightest hint of a pause before he says “meta-abilities”, which gives the impression he was about to say something else before then remembering himself and who he was talking to. Then there’s the small inflecion he put on “love”, which makes it sound like it’s the first time he’s heard himself say the words out loud. I don’t hear him talking about the gene - I hear him talking about finally accepting himself - all of himself - for the first time in maybe ever and finally feeling happy because of it. I hear growth... From being the angry 14-year-old skater who just wanted to run away and escape any way he could. To the 16-year-old councillor/Outsider jumping straight into the danger to protect and inspire those who need it. Both he and Bart are such strong characters with so much more to be seen - especially when it comes to the insecurities which lie behind their masks. They both compliment each other pretty perfectly - both powers-wise and personality-wise - meaning while they try to hide themself from others, I don't think it'll take long for them to realise they can't hide from each other.

Anywho, that’s all the speculatary nonsense I’ve got for today. This turned into such a patchwork of vaguely linkable thoughts I’ve had which barely relate to the one I started with - but that is usually how it goes. Take it as you will…

Also, completely unrelated to YJ, but Bi Tim Drake now exists in dc canon which is really cool - seeing all of the joy it’s sparked has really given me something to smile about this week… There is hope after all. 🌈

— LB ⚡️☀️

* OK so here’s a little random snapshot into the chaos of my mind— as I was writing the Ed stuff I had a scene pop into my head of Ed finally -for whatever reason- having to tell his dad that he didn’t leave his abuelo’s home - he got kicked out. His dads confused about this and asks Why? What did you do? And Ed’s like Nothing… I didn’t do anything wrong… he just… found out something. So Seniors like Found out what Eduardo? And Ed’s getting really nervous now because he doesn’t want to say it - That I, um… I’m… Senior step a fraction closer as he picks up on Ed’s anxiety but remains an appropriate distance - Son? Then after a tensening silence he finally says it - sounding the most vulnerable he has ever been - I’m gay… The silence is there again, heavy and unnerving, neither saying a word. Ed can’t move as he’s lock in his elders unreadable glare. Expecting the worse his head drops to take in the floor - anything that isn’t the disappointment ahead - he feels the urge to disappear burning up inside him - consuming him. Then just as he’s about to escape he’s suddenly grounded by a steadying hand rooting itself on his shoulder. Tentatively he lifts his gaze to witness his father, there, with nothing but love and support in his eyes - Mijo. The clamping in his chest dissipates as all the tension escapes at once, along with the breath he hadn’t realised he was holding. Ed embraces his dad and the elder embraces his son. Together. A family.

Anyway. That’s probably a load of rubbish but hey my minds full of it… but basically I really want to see a tender moment between Ed and his dad. For whatever reason. Something where Ed’s in a vulnerable state and in need of some emotional support from his father - and without hesitation his father steps up - because that’s what we haven’t seen from them yet. It would perfectly portray the strength of their relationship as father and son - despite their previous struggles - and prove that Senior is willing to support his son no matter the situation as the father - not just the scientist. Its the final step in their healing journey and I wanna see it so bad!!

[merklins]

Other hlvrv fish for consideration

(THIS GOT A LITTLE LONG SO I PUT IT UNDER A READ MORE. Enjoy fish <3 )

Overlord: Sea serpent! I think he'd love being a sea serpent, specifically the really old ones that were drawn all over maps. They looked like dragons and were HUGE! Come on. Tell me The Overlord himself wouldn't want to be an awesome creature of mythos. It's like being an oarfish, but even better! AND he gets to cause fear and panic in sailors and sink their ships! Perfect.

Polite Benrey: Dark shyshark! That's a type of catshark (Polite Benrey loves cats) that ALSO has the common name of. wait for it. "Pretty Happy". These creatures are called pretty happys. ISN'T THAT SO COOL? And want to know why they're called shysharks? It's because when something scares them they curl up and hide their face behind their tail! Picture (:

It's really cute, BUT NOT TO WORRY!! Polite Benrey has a helmet so he feels extra secure wherever he is, and he can still swim around and hang out with friends without turning into a burnt onion ring!

Y2KVR Benrey: Hermit crab! BUT NOT JUST ANY HERMIT CRAB! He'd be one of the hermit crabs from the ocean that carry around anemones and other sea life on/insteadof shells! (I TRIED TO RESEARCH THIS MORE BUT I GOT CONFUSED.) Whichever it is, there seems to be a case of mutualism between the two, where the crab is protected by the stinging cells of the anemone, and the anemone gets a free mode of transport! (AHA, LIKE THE VIRUS AND IT'S MESSENGER!) If the events of y2kvr were fish I imagine he'd start off with some kind of VERY BAD REEF-WRECKING CREATURE, but after finally talking it out with Gordon B and eventually feeling safe around him, they'd find him an even better shell that doubles as a necklace and lets Benrey carry around good sea life (:

The Old Man (YES I KNOW THIS IS AN ODD CHARACTER TO DO THIS FOR): Greenland shark. They're old hehe end of post.

KIDDING! Greenland sharks are a type of sleeper shark that have a... very slow metabolism... (do you see what I'm doing here) which allows them to live longer than any other vertebrae! And yet? WE RARELY SEE THESE GUYS BECAUSE THEY'RE OFF IN THE DEPTHS OF THE ARCTIC DOING WHATEVER IT IS SHARKS DO! Classic G-man behavior. Oh and also sometimes these guys MIGHT (it's only theorised right now) have cool glowing blue eyes because of little creatures that live on the sharks and attract prey for them! This usually causes damage to their eyes, but it's ok because greenland sharks are so good at hunting by smell and hearing that vision loss doesn't even slow them down! (ahha slow them down. they can't get any slower! SLOWEST FISH ON EARTH COMPARED TO SIZE. TRUE FACT!) And they haven't hurt anyone and they have such a big smile and they look a little vintage! Trust me it's a good match (:

Project Coolatta: So yesterday I learned that one time. true real life story. some fisherman over in Belize doing shark research found a shark that was SUPER UNUSUAL FOR THE REGION hanging around a coral reef, but they weren't able to keep the shark long enough to get a proper ID because there was a storm coming, so they settled for the video they had rolling and released the shark so it would have enough time to get out of there. AND THEN LATER ONCE THEY WERE TRYING TO ID THIS THING they find out that. oopsies oh shit. that's the only sleeper shark to ever be spotted in that region, and they let it go without gathering ANY DATA on it. And not only that, but it was PROBABLY a hybrid between two different sleeper sharks with two DRASTICALLY DIFFERENT [RANGES?]. Although a hybrid of the two wasn't a first or very shocking, WHAT WAS A DEEP SEA SHARK DOING IN A SHALLOW REEF SYSTEM?? Visiting his friends of course (: That shark. That shark SPECIFICALLY is Project Coolatta. ANYWAY! Additional fun fact: Pacific Sleeper Sharks, the suspected other half to the Greenland shark hybrid, are known for swimming in really hot and acidic waters. And by that I mean they've been spotted swimming under a volcano! Project Coolatta loves a good swim in a volcano green sludge <3

Leading Light: Flamboyant cuttlefish! I saw Loverboy drawn as a cuttlefish a few times, so I think it's only fair that Leading Light gets to be a cooler cuttlefish. They're poisonous! VERY POISONOUS! They turn pink as a threat! They're sooo so good at creating a disguise to blend in and hide their true selves... to look like dirt so they can eat shrimp and crabs and stuff of course. No double meanings here at all! /sar

ohhh uh. hhhmmm. it's ok man you don't look like someone else! You look like a pile of sand. (:

BREAKING NEWS! Oarfish faces the wrath of Casa De Neo

[choptop-sawyer]

Hi again 😎💫 im here to dig at ur brain again bcs i. M. Aaa sorry i just love ur stuff but. I have this kinda rly specific storyline type hc area and I'd love to hear any hcs you might get from it if its at all jr thing. But um I keep sometimes thinking back to the idea of kinda, vaguely growing up in the same area as the Sawyers, being childhood friends (and being stupid 2gether, running arount the countryside, ditching school & playing in corn fields) -

But then having to leave in your late teens to school / whatever (I mean 😎 my sappy ass also thinks abt mutual pining w Bobby but you know...... nearly unrelated.......)

Then, later on (Bobbys now Chop Top, Nubbins is..... dead I guess but also >:( maybe not, the family is up to being a mess etc) returning to town to take a break from work or whatever. N meeting up w the family again, i mean, oblivious to the bullshit they get up to but.... yk

This is a bit rambly i should probs have waited to sleep but I can't get the thought of returning to the Sawyer door wearing Bobbys tie dye sweatshirt that hr borrowed u years ago and all the impact of being a former family member bc u were also kind of an outsider or whatever but also the drama of leaving so uwu sksjd

This got so long. All i wanted to ask is: sawyer family headcanons for a childhood friend returning to town after being away for years. Rip.

THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS god I love the image too of just standing in the doorway,, you're not home, you've changed a little bit, but you still fit into some of the old aspects you know so well they fit you and cover you.

Actually this is great because that fic that I swear exists has pretty much the same premise but!!! I can make this one less tragic than that one. 😎

(This is mostly Chop Top n you centric please don't mind)

Also this timeline is all fucky. I think that as soon as Chop came home from Vietnam the Sawyers had basically uprooted themselves and were living in North Texas because of the... Hardesty incident. But like can we pretend that that never happened they r still there in Newt? Just for this. (Hope you like it!)

Chop Top's Childhood Friend Returns

You don't think you would have turned out the way you did without the Sawyers.

They were the main element of your childhood, a mystery that you had to be a part of. A mystery, because they were closed off. Mistrustful. The sickness of small towns carried to the extreme, because they were mostly alone. The loneliness made them more miserable, the misery made them more isolated. A cycle, a legacy.

So it was a a miracle that you were even allowed to be apart of some of it, but you attribute that miracle to Bobby.

He seemed to think you were as much of mystery as what you thought the Sawyers were. Two kids looking through a small window into another world. But he liked that. He liked that you were something different, something new. From beyond that small world of loneliness that lived in the house.

You learned quickly that he had a desire for anything beyond that world. So he'd invite you out with him, when you were kids, to run free in the tall grass, when you got older, to drive with him to places unknown. He had a knack for finding these odd places, and he always brought you along with the music cranked up loud on the radio.

Bobby told you many times that he wanted to see the world. He had this lust for life that went beyond the restlessness of the young. He also said that he wanted to bring you along with him when he saw the world. You didn't ever mention how that always made your heart skip a beat when he said that.

Maybe you should have. But the past is the past and you can't change that.

You knew the other Sawyers too, but Bobby tended to avoid them sometimes. But occasionally, you got to hang out with them.

Nubbins was an enigma. You didn't think Nubbins was his real name. But that's the only one you heard from him, but the name situation was the least confusing thing. He was the most open person you knew. And yet you couldn't understand him, and decided at some point that you wouldn't ever. But he was fun. His energy was infectious, if he was filled with joy, you couldn't help but laugh with him too. That was Nubbins, so absent of any purposeful deceit that he was almost a mirror, you saw yourself around him, sometimes it was uncomfortable, but other times it was fun.

Bubba was the opposite. He seemed to be legitimately wary of you. Bobby once told you that Bubba didn't like to leave the house, ever. He stayed and did the chores. You wondered if he minded, being stuck with all the chores but Bobby said he didn't. It was comforting for him. Always having something set to do. You only saw him once. Nubbins had made him tag along when he needed him to hang some things from a tree. Bones from indeterminate animals, a clock with a nail through it. You don't think Nubbins actually needed Bubba to reach the branches (he climbed pretty well) but he just wanted his little brother to see his work. Bubba didn't make eye contact with you the entire time. He was wholly focused on his task of helping Nubbins. But he was gentle when he helped his brother, careful, and for that you liked him.

Drayton was... well. He was the one Bobby argued with the most. He was his brother, but with how much age between the two, it was almost hard to believe sometimes. Drayton was the one that everybody in Newt knew the most. People liked him well enough, but they said he was odd behind his back. He knew that. You don't think he trusted anything outside the insular world he and his family had existed in for years, and was at odds with Bobby because he didn't get why Bobby wanted anything to do with the world outside.

Oftentimes you would see Bobby after he and Drayton got into it. He'd be fuming, but he'd smile when he saw you. You'd leave with him whenever he came to you. These adventures were the most fun you had when you were there.

The other times you'd go off were when he'd convince you to skip school. Bobby never went himself. He didn't get the idea of all those kids sitting in classrooms for hours, doing nothing but writing and listening. Why do that when you can find things out for yourself? Get into some trouble? In his mind, he was saving you from a very boring thing.

You two knew the area around Newt well. The fields and the flat expanses were the best kind of playground. Your dreams were still set in them. A kind of sunshine filled melancholy.

Bobby told you things in the grass. His dreams yes, but his own thoughts. On music, on late night radio, on movies, on you. He perhaps thought of you as wonderful as voices on the radio, stars on the screen. He never told you that though. But your name was never far from his mouth when Bobby talked about the things he loved.

You and him loved each other as much as two kids who didn't know how to could. He was always on your mind now, with not much tangible objects to remember him with. A photograph taken by Nubbins, your faces blurred because you were laughing. A button, the pin on the back bent. A sweatshirt, which he tie dyed himself, and gave to you one night. The colors were faded. You never did get to return it.

The years away did nothing to lessen thoughts of him. No, they just blurred all together now, and the stream of the sunshine filled melancholy was almost endless. You needed a break. There was only one place you could think of that could help you with that.

So you came back. All things led back to this place eventually. Newt was dying, or dead. Didn't you see somewhere that when a ship went down, it took everything with it? You didn't want to stay for long. But you had to see all of them, you had to know that they were all not these strange figures you had dreamt up.

You went right to the house. You'd never actually been allowed inside, Bobby just always said something along the lines of 'Grandma and Grandpa are napping upstairs' or 'there's a mess' (never mind that he could care less usually about messes.) But you figured he had had a good reason. Maybe he was embarrassed.

When you knocked on the door, your heart was pounding. And that was all. Nothing happened, no indication that anyone was there. You waited, the sweatshirt was too hot but you didn't want to take it off.

Maybe you should come back another time. You were just about to turn around and leave when the door burst open, almost whacking you in the face. And there (you couldn't believe your eyes you couldn't this was a dream) he was.

Bobby had a hammer raised over his head, grinning, he was poised to swing it down, but then he saw you and he felt as if he was in a dream too.

It's been so long. He thought he made you up, a dream to carry him through misery, and you looked the part, even as you stood before him on the doorway. The light of the setting sun shone behind you, heat waves shimmered in the dusk, and you... you.

Facing each other, you stood, just staring. Over head the sky grew colorful, in the fields the grass whispered in the wind. Nothing had changed. Everything had changed. Bobby dropped the hammer and grabbed for your face, and he held it, fingers digging in so tight it hurt.

"H-hey you." He said, and fell to his knees, releasing your face. You numbly touched the marks his fingers left. Bobby still looked like a man who had seen a ghost.

You called his name, and his eyes looked lost, like he hadn't heard it in a long time. He looked up at you, and you could really get a good look at him. His face was leaner, he looked sickly and wiry, but his eyes were just as you remembered. You sank down to the porch to sit with him.

"Fuck... FUCK I didn't... I- I thought ya'd forgotten all about me... uh.. uhm. Fuck! I mean, r-really! Turnin' up out of the blue like you're some kinda... ghost or whatever... WHOA man... like, ya here to return m-my, my sweatshirt? You're wearin' it, you can keep it! You look better in it anyway... heh, fuck." He rambled on and on, hands tensing and twitching as if they were moving to touch you again, just to reaffirm your existence. Did he know how glad you were to see him? Did he know that you hadn't felt right for the longest time being away?

You forgot all about the sweatshirt, the hammer he had raised with a sadistic grin. You reached out and held one of his twitching hands, and he stilled and stopped talking. There was a peace now.

It didn't seem possible for your heart to feel this full. But it was. And by god, if this wasn't the best decision you made in your life to visit your old hometown, if only just for this moment.

Bobby stood, with your hand still in his, pulling you up. He smiled at you, and you knew you still loved him, and in your deepest heart, you knew he loved you too.

But this time around, maybe you and him could love each other right.

[ravenkinnie]

TW: Drugs, substance abuse, murder, violence, the Punisher

Another potentially unpopular opinion I've seen on here (and one that I'll actually rant about) is that, Jason is the only good vigilante in the Batfam because he kills people (think the direct quote is "unlike those other feckless bitches" and something like "when you get saved by Red Hood, you know that you'll never have to worry about getting attacked by the same person again". I don't know how to explain to people that killing the type of criminals Jason killed in canon is wrong and harmful (thinking about the 80 Blackgate prisoners he poisoned - hmm you know the American prison system is pretty fucked up i'm sure they all totally belonged there /s). Like. Jason killing the Joker is one thing, but he literally hasn't killed the Joker - Dick did that, Bruce tried to, but Jason hasn't. But like some people make it out like oh, Jason being a killer is fine because he only kills people that deserve it - who, tell me who he's killing? Sex offenders and drug dealers seems to be the most common reply. And I won't touch the sex offenders but drug dealers? Have you heard of the War on Drugs? Have you seen what happens when people in power decide it's okay to openly promote the killing of drug dealers? I don't understand why people think it's fine for Jason Todd to go around killing drug dealers, as if they don't have families, don't have other things that put them in a bad situation. There's a reason why cops in the US (idk if they do this elsewhere) use the Punisher skull as their emblem - and if you advocate for a Jason Todd that punishes criminals, don't be surprised when the right wing weaponizes him against minorities and the red hood helmet starts to get painted on cop cars.

I wrote a paper on the Norwegian prison system which rehabilitates and releases even the "worst" of criminals and just... I live in the US and it seems like we (specifically white people) have such little compassion for anyone who commits crime. Even after the War on Drugs, even after we learned it was a scam, people fall for the crime and punishment rhetoric time after time. Like I live in a suburb where people are so scared of drug dealers my mom literally called our neighbor because someone cut through our yard (and she thought he looked high or something idk). Which I get it, my cousin died from a fentanyl overdose, I understand you don't want that near your kids. But incarcerating or killing drug dealers is not the answer, and I can't stand it when people take that stance on Jason. You can try to explain the 8 drug dealer heads in a duffle bag any way you want, but at the end of the day, I think the batfamily fandom needs to be more careful addressing this issue because demonizing drugs/drug dealers/drug users is literally one of the ways the American government destroys black communities.

And to think, the Jason Todd stan that this opinion came from replied to me because I commented on how Jason likes to run around in Dick's old clothes - something that has absolutely no bearing on his morals, other than he's thrifty which is a good thing actually, something like 85% of clothes ends up in landfills. Sorry for the rant, you asked for it. Sorry if anyone who sees this likes Jason Todd and is offended, you're not bad for liking him, he has an interesting story, just please don't advocate for murdering common criminals, specifically drug dealers.

AAAHHH NOO BUT IVE SEEN SOME OF MY MOOTS DISCUSS THIS BEFORE

sorry it's late and fucking hot I don't have the most comprehensive reply dbdnhd and I do acknowledge that at the end of the day this is fiction but opinions real people hold come from SOMEWHERE - and I think we have a very ingrained belief that crime/bad deed has to be punished and that there are good and evil people and good people only do bad things when influenced by evil people which is exactly the core of jason's belief - and that's interesting for a batfam character, a former robin!! I like when him and bruce are contrasted based on ethics but I don't like when it's meant to show that jason is right and bruce is wrong

batman is an extremely popular and fascinating character because at his core lies the idea that systems that are in place to 'protect' people are corrupt and it's down to individuals who can do something to go against them and look out for others - that's something that will resonate with people even if irl solution can't be to dress up as a bat and beat tf outta people shdhhshs

I have two points to make here:

a) I'm straight up a fucking anarchist who lives in the woods, thinks aliens are listening, and doesn't trust the government but I don't believe systems are corrupt, I believe they operate the way they are meant to operate to punish and control the populations that the system needs to be controlled to keep up the status quo - war on drugs is such a good example for that. drug dealer also exists as this boogeyman, this idea of an evil person waiting to corrupt and destroy the good people but the fact is: people don't get addicted to drugs bc drug dealers exist, people get addicted to drugs because something, not someone, compels them to do drugs, because something (literal us gov) introduced drugs to their communities and drug dealers are just tiny pawns in that game. additionally, many dealers are addicts themselves who got roped into selling to pay for their own use or who got pushed into the margins of society so much that drug trade is the only way to survive they can find

there are like, whole papers and books and thesis done on this so I'm not gonna act like I can analyse it in a tumblr post dhshsjsj but yeah people who think jason is right usually show this weird superiority of 'oh batman doesnt get how to fix gotham like jason does' and like... no, jason gets played like a fiddle by the system the way people he kills do, and whatever he does will always just hit the other pawns and never reach those actually at the top, those who are profitting from finding scapegoats

and like, batman comics don't have to address that bc it's comics, you can write small lmao but don't argue that jason is somehow more enlightened than bruce for killing

b) this brings a question of, if we decide that there has to be punishment for every crime, who gets to decide what punishment is right for what crime? cause there's not a single person who's infallible enough to dictate what the best approach is in every situation

and batman works best as a traumatised man who's loves his city sm he tries to work however he can to protect people from corrupt systems and offer them second chances wherever he can bc that's who batman is at his core - batman is not a punisher he is a protector and he should never be pushed into a role of the punisher bc he's not edgy enough

also bitches are so hard acting like they would kill every villain cause rip to batman but I'm different, y'all are too scared to tell the waitress your order is wrong shut the fuck up lmao the closest any of y'all have been to being batman is getting your ass beat behind the club on a saturday by brenda in her boohoo jumpsuit

[downwiththemutantnjnjaturtles]

We Met Within This Screen (final chapter, pt. 1)

note: ooh here it is, the beginning of the end. I'm not very sure about the quality of this lol-

Donnie couldn't be out long. There was only so much time until the others noticed he was missing and came looking, and in such a tense moment as this was, he didn't know how he'd handle the three of them showing up. All he needed was a few minutes. Just a few minutes.

As he ran the rooftops, he was extra vigilant of his surroundings. Since the last assault, he knew he had to stay on guard, but waiting was simply not an option. As he neared her apartment complex, he could see in the distance a familiar sight; her, on the balcony. He couldn't believe what was happening. That he was running toward her and not away. She looked around, checking everywhere she could think of, but she could not see him. Only his tall shadow on the wall as he slipped into the cover of an adjacent building, perched next to a water tower and watching. In that moment, part of him in the recesses of his mind decided that the soft light of night had a way of making a person look positively ethereal.

He crept closer to the edge, just into sight, and waited.

Now or never, he told himself, leaping ever closer. She was only about twenty feet away, now, him obscured by a door leading to the stairwell he stood behind. The sound of his previous lofty drop into the concrete seemed to have snatched her attention, as he'd noticed, peering around the corner. And so she grabbed the railing and called out distinctly, "Come out, Bo!"

It was silent for a disconcerting amount of time. There was only him and her, the physical gap between them, and then where he hid in the dark.

No more secrets, no more secrets, he repeated, trying to turn his nerves into some kind of hype. The affirmation had no effect on him as it did Mikey, who he'd seen use the "technique" frequently. He still tried it.

"Show yourself," he heard her say, though her tone was not much of a demand. She was just as uncertain as he was.

Not yet could he step out. He hesitated before responding, "Donatello," still from behind the door. She struggled to reply, and when she didn't say anything, he added, "Donatello...that's my name." And with one last burst of courage, he stepped out.

She found herself stuck where she was as he slowly approached, unable to see the details of his face. She squinted. The gear on his back and head glinted in the light. There was a slight hunch in his posture, possibly from the large shell on his back, possibly from the added weight of the gear, possibly because he was trying to look a little smaller. He was conscious of his gait, his posture—his posture, especially—his own body language. He made the effort to straighten out just a bit. Whether she paid attention to those things was beyond him, but it was an unconscious accommodation.

Unblinking, her eyes locked with his, held by each other's gaze. The last thing we wanted to get caught up on was his boyish affection for her (that was how he saw it), but she was simply everything he'd imagined, and more. Impossible to not stare at. He stopped some ways from her and anticipated the reaction he was going to receive.

Her hands loosened their grips on the railing. "You're…" she trailed off, as if trying to find the right words. He shifted in discomfort. "...a turtle," she said breathily, finally able to say it.

"Um...a red-eared slider, to be exact, if you want to be specific," he added quickly, and it made her remember the time he'd told her fun facts about the particular species.

Nerves firing, Donnie resisted the urge to squirm or pace as he did when he was uncomfortable. She knew him in his entirety, now. He did not feel the release he thought he would have upon revealing himself. No, he felt restless. The more time they went not speaking a word, the more he was forcefully grounded right then and there. His attention diverted to her appearance. She was beautiful—one of the most beautiful people he'd seen. And he'd seen plenty of people in his life, but he was held hostage by her and her alone in that moment. Everything around them seemed to fade out.

But the silence couldn't go on forever; one of them had to speak. Both had to confront each other.

He decided an apology was in order. Naturally, he possessed a twinge of guilt for leading her on in a way. "I'm sorry I made you think I was someone that I'm not, [y/n]."

Her hands left the railing and fell to her sides. "Donatello, I—"

"You can just call me Donnie. Please."

She nodded and looked down. Her brows knitted, though not in anger. "Donnie...this is so weird," she said, and his chest tightened. "How?" she asked. He was a little confused by her question, and she went on upon seeing the quizzical look on his face. "How do you exist? Where did you come from?"

He couldn't answer immediately; the story was awkwardly long to be standing out in the open. So he took a small easy step forward, asking for permission to enter the apartment, which felt wholly unnatural. He also didn't want to encroach on her or her space.

Instinctually, his hand drew up towards his neck, where he started rubbing yet again. "The story, it's kind of...complicated. And I can't stay out here too long," he said, motioning at their surroundings, "do you mind if we…?" He was hesitant to even finish that sentence.

"Go in?" she inferred. For a second, he thought she seemed to be seriously thinking about it. I wouldn't be so quick to invite a six-and-a-half foot tall talking terrapin into my home, either.

"Ah—just for now, I'm sorry, I know it's weird and you're probably uncomfortable—"

She shook her head, walking back to the door before sliding it open with some reluctance. "Uh, you can. I just...I'm trusting you right now, Donatello."

He mustered up a slight smile, but it didn't last as she leaned over the railing and held out her hand. For him to take. He wasn't totally sure what to do with himself otherwise as he took the hint and placed his large hand in her smaller one, stepping over the (for him) short gap onto the balcony. Her hand was unmistakably warm against his cool scales. The gesture made his heart flutter, even though he could have gotten across by himself with no issue. He didn't notice how firmly he held her hand until she let go.

She glanced over her shoulder at him, sliding the door open and stepping aside. He had to duck his head underneath the door frame.

Inside the apartment was warm. Warm everything, actually; the only light was the pale yellow glow of the lamps in the living room. He forgot momentarily the circumstances and his eyes wandered the room, finding traces of her personality wherever he could. He noticed the books on the shelf next to them and searched through his own mind library to see if he knew any of the titles. He also took note of whatever the show that was playing on the TV, the scattered knick-knacks, and other telling items. If it weren't for the homely atmosphere, he would have felt like an unwanted intruder, but he was only fairly uncomfortable once he was brought back by the sound of her clearing her throat.

"Oh," he muttered politely, sidestepping out of her way. "Sorry, I've just only ever seen this place from the outside." He continued looking around the room and absorbing information as was his habit.

"Huh?" She quickly turned toward him.

Donnie, sometimes I wish you wouldn't open your mouth, he grilled himself, and instantly went into minor panic-mode in explaining himself. "Well, I—you see, I was out, and…"

She crossed her arms, taking a subtle step back.

She's going to think I'm a stalker!

"It was by pure coincidence!" he exclaimed, holding out his hands nervously. "We took down some bad guys trying to rob a place nearby, and apparently you heard something?" He carefully watched her expression. "You texted me immediately afterwards saying you did, so I just...put it together."

She dropped her arms and seemed to have a revelation. "That's what I heard! And you...took them down?"

He straightened up, one of his hands idly adjusting one of the straps around his shoulder. If he was really doing this, telling her, he'd lay it all out tonight.

"Yeah, my brothers and I. That's what we do. We stop bad guys."

Shoulders losing their tension, she stared at him with a peculiar expression, long enough for him to question what she was thinking. She started, "You never said you had brothers. Or that you fight crime." He gave her a half-smile. "But you also never said where you came from."

"It might take a while to explain."

"We've got plenty of time."

He soon was whisked away into recounting, and forgot that he was missing from home.

Tag list: @spaceman-main @kokokatsworld @criminaly-supernatural @sheepdarkhours @dianounais

[fly-like-a-phoenix]

House of Lust (part 9)

Abbé de Coulmier x reader

Summary: Five years has passed since the events of Quills. The Abbé de Coulmier is released of prision by a misterious event. And he will know again those feelings he never thought will meet again: love... and lust.

Warnings: smut, masturbation.

François walked through the empty hallways, the enormous windows covered with those thick curtains that bothered him in a way he didn't understand. He moved one of them, seeing how the moonlight covered the field.

He walked in silence, his shoes not making a single noise. He bit his bottom lip, and stopped behind a door, hearing both male and female moans from the inside. There was not only a couple, tho. Must be two woman and one guy, at least.

He could her moans and other noises from other rooms too. Every grand door was closed, and he couldn't open them even if he wanted to. Same with the windows, key locked even if there were bars on them.

Besides the dining room where he already were before, he saw the large kitchen and other resting rooms. There was a library, and he saw some of the Marquis' books in there.

He continued his way to the dungeons in the basement. There was nothing in there as he was expecting. Just another giant house occupied by mad people.

He arrived to the entrance, briefly remembering it. He fainted because of the beat that guard gave him, but some flashes came to his mind. It was dark, so he went downstairs with care, until he saw a light in the end of the rock hallway.

It was a torch, and there were many lighting the place. But no one was there, so I felt strange. With some lack of trust of his mind, he took one from the holder, and walked to the cell he occupied. Obviously it was empty. But he wasn't alone. He heard a noise behind him, and he turned around quickly.

"You're out after midnight." A voice said. "Lucky you I'm not Odelle. She would punish you, that's for sure."

Josephine approached to him, so François saw her face with the light of the torch. She was another beauty, as her sisters. But nothing compared to you. You were special.

"How did you know that I was here?" He asked, his tone stronger than other times, not so afraid as it was with Odelle.

"I followed you, silly!" She said, sarcastically smiling. "Or did you really think we always leave these torches burning?"

Somehow, it was a nonsense. She didn't know that he was going out of your bedroom to explore the mansion. In fact, he adventured to do it at the moment he left you in the bed.

"You followed me? How---?

"I saw you leaving my sister's room, and I guess I knew you were going to explore the place, including the dungeons, so I waited for you in here."

François looked at her in silence, calming his breath. He wasn't afraid of her at all. He was just curious. Was she really different to Odelle as you said? Or she was the same?

She talked to him before. She wasn't so rude, that was right. But still, she wanted the same that her sister: she wanted to corrupt him. She looked for him. She took him out of prison to do it.

"Right... Listen, I will go back to Y/N's room. Let's just... Let's just leave this here, please."

"Oh, my dear Abbé. Are you afraid of me telling something to Odelle? I'm not gonna do it, trust me."

He chuckled. He will have to do it.

"Alright, I'll do it. I'll trust in you. What do you want?"

"Why would I want something?" She said, and kept smiling.

"I don't think that you would find me exploring your house and let me go just like that..."

"Yeah, well. You're right. It's not going to be a free pass. You will have to come with me, and I will say nothing to Odelle. Deal?"

He pictured you in his mind for a second. Maybe if he didn't go with Josephine, she would say to Odelle that he was trying to escape, and that you let him, helping him.

You were the only thing that tied him to the place since he arrived. And he didn't want you to be blamed for nothing. Actually, you could even be in danger.

"Deal." He said, finally, nodding and following Josephine to the entrance of the basement and to her room.

He turned off the torch and left it aside while Josephine closed the door. The room wasn't as large as Odelle's one. It was the same as yours, but there was not a chimney, or the divan, or the table and chairs. Only the bed and some auxiliar night tables.

"Sit in there." She said, almost whispering.

He did what she said, curious again about her next movement, just the same that happened with Odelle the day before.

She kneeled down in front of him, her hands on his thighs, opening his legs. She approached the more she could because of his cassock, smiling.

His breathing became heavier. His heartbeat accelerated. And she was closer, more and more, to his crotch. Until she stand and started to kiss him, very gentle.

He didn't close his eyes at first, not trusting her. But then, you came to his mind again, and Josephine's lips became yours to him, which let his mind fly away.

He let his hands on her waist, squeezing as gentle as her hands caressed his face. The kiss deepened more and more, and he felt himself getting harder.

"Lay down." She said, moving away while he went to rest his head in her pillow. She crawled to him, kissing him again while her hands started to unbotton his shirt and cassock.

She was actually sweet as you said. He remembered how Odelle scratched his chest with her nails. But Josephine was different.

She touched his neck at first, then his collarbone, and finally his chest, the tips of her fingers barely skimming his pale, soft skin, lining his light muscles.

He enjoyed every touch, moving his hips up to meet her body, his eyes closed, thinking only in you. He moaned against her mouth when he felt how suddenly she pinched his nipples. He used to touch them when he masturbated. But feeling other fingers on them was amazing. And he loved it.

"Don't move." She said, sitting in the bed and taking her dress off. He looked at her and her perfect body, and then he looked down, his cassock raised up because of his erection.

"My sister will give you pleasure. But I will receive it. I want to know how good you are, and how you can progress, so you can also give pleasure to Y/N. Got it? Now, teach me if you know what to do with that pretty mouth of yours."

He couldn't say anything, because Josephine laid on him, kissing him again. He was thinking, tho. Give pleasure to you? But you already said no to them before. Were they going to try to make you part of it again?

Josephine held herself in her forearms, moving until her big breasts where at the height of his face. He saw them in awe, rememering Madeline's and how much he wanted to kiss them and feel them with his hands and mouth...

"Don't think it so much, Abbé." She said, as if she was reading his mind. And he didn't. He took one in his mouth, feeling her nipple with his tongue while his hand cupped the other.

Josephine gasped, and then she started to moan. She liked how he made circles with his tongue, his lips sucking, wanting more of her breast inside his mouth.

He changed to the other. And he bit her a little. She missed a breath, liking that rude part of him. And a few moments later, she moved again, sitting on his face.

That surprised him. But then, without thinking about it, he started to tongue her, feeling her clit with his lips, sucking it, gaining her moans again. He knew a lot about biology and medicine. And he knew women liked that part to be stimulated.

He licked her folds in a way he had always dream to do with a woman, but he never could. The skin was different. The smell, the savour, the wetness of her dripping down all over his nose, intoxicating his mouth.

She came a few moments after with a noisy moan, his hands squeezing her buttocks while she trembled against him. Josephine recovered her breath, and laid down next to him, looking at his erect member pressing against his cassock.

"I'm sorry, but I can't help you with it." She said, again seemed to be reading his mind. "It's not that I don't wanna to. I'm dying for do it. But you'll have to find release alone. Now go back to your room. Remember my promise, my attractive priest."

She stood in there, naked, watching him leave her bed. He was about to open the door, but she called him again.

"Abbé." She said, making him turn. "You are very good with your tongue if this is your first time doing it. Congrats."

She winked her eye, and smiled again. He left the room without saying or gesticulating anything, and opened your door with care. He glanced at you sleeping so well at your bed, shame in his face.

He couldn't believe he thought of you while doing those things to your sister. But he couldn't see her face. He only saw yours, as he was doing now.

He laid down in the divan, looking at you. And thinking it was bad to do it, he let his hand enter his cassock, and started to masturbate while touching his still naked chest as Josephine did before, twisting his nipples to feel more pleasure.

His hand went up and down, quicker at every moment that past. His thumb caressed the head of his member, and his own fingers weren't enough to sorround it completely.

He was very big, as many maids from Charenton used to think, imagining what he hid under the holy cassock. They were right. Their lustful desires where truth. He committed to God having such a delightful cock.

He didn't stop until he came, his hand covered in his viscous substance, a strong moan dying in his throat. He covered his mouth with the other hand, fearing you've heard him.

But you only turned around under the sheets, completely lost in the dreams world. He cleaned his hand with a piece of cloth that was near, and turned to face the backup of the divan, immediately falling sleep, feeling guilty because of the lust he felt, specifically for you.

Tagging: @darknessisafriend @five-miles-over @yukis-writing @thegirlwho @jokerflecker @missrockabilly99 @luperugorria99 @lyoongx @weirdflecksbutok @skaraboo @starksclown @sgtsavoytruffle @joaquinisart @beautifulyoungprospect @sophiefleck @the-queen-of-things @joaqz-phoenix @ajokerfangirl @bailaycantaconmingo

[tinyhistory]

Hey! I feel like there's so many nuances, subtle messaging, and symbolism in Once Around the Sun. It's what makes it so gorgeous and intelligent. I don't have a specific question, guess I just was curious/ would love to hear your heart on what some of those things meant to you (white rose, sun nymphs, Azula's distorted perspective, etc), if you felt there was anything readers didn't catch, what you were excited or proud to weave in? I can't wait to reread already bc I'm sure I'll catch more :)

Thank you so much! I love putting little details in my fics, and often add nods to my other fanfics — so if you look closely enough, you start finding tiny in-jokes and references.

There’s a few things in Once Around the Sun that nobody’s commented on, but I’ll pick just a couple for the sake of brevity.

Firstly — lanterns! These are always used to foreshadow events. Just before the assassination attempt at the midsummer celebration, the lanterns are described in vivid detail and Katara sees Zuko outlined very clearly by them — something significant is about to happen to him. The lanterns are also red and blue — Zuko and Katara’s fates are about to entangle. In the same chapter, just before the prison is stormed and Azula’s mock trial is held, the lanterns near her cell are described as flickering wildly (a description deliberately similar to lightning).

In Chapter 7, when Zuko finally decides to take a gamble, heed Katara’s advice, and change course, the lanterns behind her are described as burning high and bright. In Chapter 8, when they chat quietly and comfortably with each other, the lanterns burn long and low. So the lanterns often reflect certain moods or upcoming changes in pace or character dynamics.

In Chapter 13, there’s the lantern festival where they write the names of the dead, and Azula writes four names (she writes Lu Ten, Ozai, Ursa — as she wasn’t sure if Ursa still lived — and herself, as she believes that the true Azula had spiritually died in her childhood). This festival is really about death — it’s about remembering those who couldn’t be saved, and saying farewell. I did space this one a few chapters before the major event because I didn’t want it to be too obvious. Later on, in Chapter 20, when Katara is thinking about Azula’s sacrifice, she specifically recalls that lantern festival.

When Katara really starts falling for Zuko in later chapters, her regret at “missed moments” is expressed through her memories of the midsummer festival and the dance they never had — throughout the chapters she thrice recalls that moment, and each time the lanterns are mentioned. She also realises Zuko perhaps reciprocates her love when he mentions the fox-sleeve lantern.

Finally, the dragon boat festival! The earlier lantern festival (foreshadowing Azula’s fate) had lanterns being released into the air and going heavenward (much like burning ash), but this festival (foreshadowing Zuko and Katara’s fates) involves the lanterns (fire) meeting the river (water).

Other little things would be the gesture of holding up a flower and blotting out the moon (Zuko does this once at the beginning; Katara does it once at the end, bookending the story), and origami (Aang offhandedly mentions, in Chapter 2, that Zuko can fold leaves into shapes — in Chapter 18, Zuko folds leaves into shapes for a funeral custom). Also with the origami theme — readers from my other fandom might recognise the origami rose that Katara makes...

Finally, just to touch on some of the other things you mentioned:

The sun nymphs.

This was a kind of Fire Nation version of the Will-o’-the-wisp, a common myth that exists in various forms around the world. It’s often portrayed as a little creature who holds a lantern aloft, luring lost travellers into marshlands and bogs. It’s generally accepted that all these myths were based around the naturally-occurring flames that sometimes happen in peaty soil. I really wanted a scene that had Zuko sharing some of his culture with Katara in an intimate and natural setting (away from the formality of the palace), so I thought pretty hard about the features of the city and nearby environment. The Will-o’-the-wisp legend presented itself as a good opportunity, so I conjured up the marshlands and gave the myth a Fire Nation twist. It was important to me that Katara began slowly seeing the beauty and playfulness of fire and Fire Nation culture — the sun nymph scene was the first of many moments where Zuko invited Katara into the stories and myths of his country.

The white roses.

I considered a few options before choosing the white rose. As it’s pointed out later in the fic, it means “secrecy and silence” which is applicable to both Azula (whose theme becomes the roses) and Ursa (who gifted the rose to her — the rose that saved Zuko). According to many mythologies, the white rose was the first of all roses, and is therefore often called ‘the mother rose’. It also later became associated with peace, loyalty, and honour. The association with peace also meant it was often connected to death — it became a common sight at funerals for those wishing a peaceful afterlife for their departed. Lastly, the white rose was reminiscent of the moon — circular and white — and the moon was also a common theme for Azula, who connected it with Katara/waterbending and therefore had a very uneasy relationship with it. She often felt that the moon was “watching” her and felt too vulnerable beneath its gaze. She sought to hide from the moon and called it a “hateful eye”, while throughout the fic Zuko gazed often upon the moon and used the stars to help him navigate his journeys. As Azula and Katara slowly developed trust in each other though, Azula finally told Katara her story and let herself become vulnerable — under the light of the moon.

Let me know if all of this was already obvious! I had a lot of fun weaving in various themes and symbolism. The downside is, it takes me a looooong time to write things because I’m so intent on the little details.

[taramaclaywasaterf]

Hey guys, I know I said I was taking a break. And I am. I’m not actually, like, back back. I just need to vent, I guess.

For those who don’t know, my grandfather committed suicide. He’d been battling lung and stomach cancer for years, and the pain had gotten so unbearable that I guess he couldn’t take it anymore. He’d been in and out of the hospital for years, and the whole month leading up to his death, he was home maybe 4 nights total, the rest spent in the hospital. My dad found him. We’ve been grieving together. It’s been hard.

My family doesn’t really get along that well. Basically just me and one of my cousins are really close, but that's it. My grandfather was kinda the glue that was keeping everyone together. His death was kind of like the final string that was tying us all together being severed.

I don’t know. The police had to come. It was really really bad. They had to make sure he wasn’t murdered.

I just hope it was quick. I hope he’s with my grandmother now. That she was waiting for him on the other side, wherever that may be. That he’s not in any pain anymore. That he knows I love him so fucking much.

As for me, I just feel…I just feel fucking numb. This happened two days after the anniversary of the death of my best friend, and less than a month after the death of Trevor Moore, a comedian whose sketches made me laugh during the worst times of my childhood and whose sudden death really fucked me up.

I kinda just shut down. I didn’t really cry at all the first day. The second day all I did was cry. After that, its like my body physically stopped letting me feel anything at all. I’m just numb. And tired. And my fucking head hasn’t stopped hurting.

I walked around his house and got some things I wanted. Some old photos. Cards I made him when I was little that he kept all these years. Some love notes my grandmother wrote him when they were young. His favorite hat. I found a photo from his wedding to my grandmother, and its now hanging above my bed. Its crazy how much I look like her. How happy he looked to have her in his arms.

I also brought home his cat. I was terrified he wouldn’t fit in with my two cats and dog. But after a bit of a shaky start, and a lot of hours spent sitting with him trying to get him to trust me, he’s settled in. My grandpa rescued him from a shelter when he was a few years old. He loved my grandfather more than anything. I can tell he’s still mourning him, like we all are. But I like to think we’ve been helping each other get through it. I hope my grandfather knows I have him. That he’s not going anywhere. That he’s safe with me, and he’s happy and warm and loved. He’s curled up on my lap right now as I write this. He’s purring quietly.

I miss him. I wish I told him more that I love him. I wish I spent more time with him. I wish I could’ve at least said goodbye. I’ve been through a lot of grief in my life, and it never fucking gets easier. I wish I could take this feeling out of me leave it somewhere for a while. I wish I could fix things. I wish my dad didn’t have to see what he saw. I wish I could make it better for him. I wish this wasn’t how things were.

As for how I am right now, well, I’m laughing. Hysterically. And crying. A lot. I took a break writing this post because it was getting too hard, so I distracted myself by watching dumb videos on my phone. Until this video of Trevor Moore popped up in my Youtube recommended:

And now I genuinely can’t fucking stop laughing. Like, holy fucking shit, Trevor. You really had a way of making jokes that are flat out prophetic, huh? Here I’ve been, on the verge of relapse for the past month over how bad your death fucked ME up, and here you are, years ago, calling me out for how completely and utterly ridiculous I am. And the fact that I’m even writing THIS right NOW makes it even worse! Look at me, acting as if you fucking died to make me learn a fucking lesson! As if my own fucking grandfather died to make me appreciate life more! As if my best friend wrapped her goddamn car around a tree just to make me realize how precious fucking friendships are! As if the entire fucking universe revolves around deliberately fucking my life up! Its pathetic! Its fucking tragic and fucked up and absolutely mind-blowingly fucking pathetic! And yet here I am, writing on the fucking internet to you, Trevor, still doing the same fucking thing! And I can't fucking stop laughing, because this is the most Trevor fucking thing I can possibly think of!

Like. I don’t even know what to do anymore, guys. I know I said I’d be taking a break, and I still am. I just needed to get this out. I don’t want to bother my friends with it, they’re worried enough about me as it is right now. They're kinda treating me as if I'm made of glass right now, which I understand, but its still frustrating. I know they just want me to be ok, and just want to keep me from doing anything stupid and fucking up my life again, but still. Being treated like a paper doll at a waterpark is getting tiring. I guess it just speaks to how entirely not-great I'm doing- that even my closest friends aren't making jokes about this shit- they're acting like I'm some fragile fucking child. But yeah.

Again, I know they mean well, and they just really don't want to see me get sucked down into that fucking void again, but I want to be distracted from all the fucked up things in my life. I want to laugh about it, and not be constantly fucking reminded of how bad things are every time I catch them looking at me like I'm some sad little puppy dog they found on the side of the road.

Oh! to top it all off, I got a letter in the mail yesterday. From my mother. Who I haven't spoken to in around a decade, because she was an abusive addict who made my childhood hell. She wants to have fucking coffee and "catch up." Jesus fucking christ, why now. Seriously. Why fucking now? Nothings been released publicly about my grandfather yet- the only people who know about it is immediate family, and everyone on my dad's side of the family fucking hates my mom almost as much as I do, so there is no way in hell anyone told her about it. So this is just a total coincidence. A giant fucking cosmic "fuck you." (Oh, look, there I go again thinking my existence is meaningful enough to the entire enormity of the universe that it would target me specifically to fuck with! Jesus fucking christ!) Like, I swear to god this fucking woman has some sort of alarm in her brain that says "oh hey, my daughter is at one of the the lowest points in her life?? Time to drop on by and say hello!!!!"

Just...I don't even know. Fuck. I don't know how the fuck I'm gonna get through all this shit, yall.

Well. Anyway. Thats it for now.

Find Kony 2012, I guess.