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turtletaubwrites · 1 day ago

Text

Numbers Game ~ Chapter 35

Lady Luck by My Side

Pairings: Cross Guild Polycule x Shanks x Fem!Reader x ???

Numbers Game Masterlist

Word Count: 10.2k+

Ao3 Link

Ongoing Series Playlist: Youtube Music Link | Youtube Link

Chapter Tunes: Luck Be a Lady (Dezio Rezio) ~ The Atomic Beat Ranchers | Feel So Numb ~ Rob Zombie

Summary: Buggy deals with your heavy words, while Crocodile and Mihawk fight for you in their own, desperate ways. You are making the best of your situation, and if you could avoid your uncle's wicked words, you might even end up enjoying yourself. If you're lucky, of course.

Ch. 34 Recap: I've decided to put the recap directly below the cut in case anyone sees this post before getting to the last chapter. It's a bit more detailed than usual, and I vehemently detest spoilers. I refuse to watch trailers for movies I plan to watch 😂 I don't even like writing summaries, so I keep them vague. Hope you don't mind!

Author's Note: I have missed y'all so very much, I can't begin to describe 😭💜 I won't get into my disappearing act here, but I'll share some details below the chapter if you're interested, and I'll probably make a life update post about it later. Now that I finally have the time, energy, and health, to write again, I just want to write Numbers Game!

Dark Content Warning: Dark Content is bracketed with ~~~⚫️⚫️⚫️~~~ and summaries are bracketed with ~⚫️~SUMMARY~⚫️~ directly below the scenes, so that you won’t miss the story if you need to not be in the BIG FEELS of the scenes. Please take care of yourself, you are not alone! 💜

~ 1st ⚫ ~ PLEASE DO NOT READ this section if severe mental illness, episodes, treatment, or neglect could be triggering for you.

~ 2nd ⚫ ~ PLEASE DO NOT READ this section if mental illness treatment, doctors, or panic attacks, might be triggering for you.

Also, I hope everyone remembers the tag/warning: Cross Guild Boys are VILLAINS. It’s been there since day one, so 🤷‍♀️

Alternate POV Symbols:

!!! SPOILER WARNING !!! Fic currently contains spoilers for up to chapter 1064 or episode 1093. As we get further into Egghead Arc where our lovely boys are showing up more, there will be more spoilers as time goes on. Sorry y'all, I'm trying to keep most spoilers small details, but Cross Guild is endgame, lol.

Rating/Warnings: Author May Choose to Exclude some Warnings to Avoid Spoilers for Certain Chapters, Explicit Sexual Content, 18+ ONLY, MDNI, AFAB!Reader, She/Her Pronouns for Reader, Reader-Insert, Use of Y/N, Dark Content, Blood & Violence, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Dissociation, Mental Illness, Grief, Hospitals, Doctors, Mental Health Treatment, Toxic Family, Childhood Trauma, Swearing, Alcohol, Cigars, Smut, Fluff, Angst, Guilt, Drama, Jealousy, Manipulation, Pet Names, Power Imbalance, Cross Guild boys are VILLAINS, Possessive Behavior, Teasing, Threats, Relationship Drama, Inappropriate Use of Akuma no Mi | Devil Fruit Powers, Shameless Shameless Smut, Uncle Cedrick Has Become His Own Warning, Death of an Unnamed Character, Other Additional Tags to Be Added

Chapter 34 Recap: You struggled with your varied feelings for the hunters that fought for the chance to be your owner, surprised that you didn't hate them all. You discovered that Fukaboshi was a truly good man who knew that you'd be sending him away soon, and that Katakuri was far sweeter than he looked.

Mihawk discovered that his little rabbit's plight was being broadcast beyond the Oak Roots Estate, and his rage made him dirty his blade.

Former member's of Baroque Works, Zala and Marianne, reported back from Dr. Vorsan's asylum. Buggy fought against it at first, but Crocodile begged to watch the encrypted recordings they had found so that he could help his sweet girl. He saw her at fifteen years old, being restrained and drugged in that asylum after her father passed, and he demanded to see the next recording.

You lied to your sister about your feelings toward the Cross Guild, telling her that they were monsters, and you never wanted to see them again. You wanted to make her happy, so you'd keep up your smile, just like you had for your dad when you were little. You would pretend for her.

Chapter 35 ~ Lady Luck by My Side

~~~🐊🐊🐊~~~

Had it been hours? Years since he’d started watching?

There was nothing but the tears in her eyes, nothing but the futile sobs he could do nothing to stop.

‘Let me see my sister!’

‘Sweetie, you’re not ready yet. You need to get well first.’

~~~⚫⚫⚫~~~

‘I’m not sick, mom,’ his sweet girl begged, strapped to a table while her mother stood too far back to comfort her. ‘Just let me see Kitty, please. I need to see her. ‘

‘You need to focus on getting better,’ Delaine’s voice shifted, expertly condescending with a loving tone.

Crocodile did not fucking like this woman.

‘Sweetie, do you remember what happened? Do you remember what you did,’ Delaine prodded. Y/N’s face crumpled, sobbing while her worthless mother stood in silence.

‘It was an accident,” the fifteen-year-old girl pleaded while she struggled against her restraints.

‘I found you with that snail, Y/N, and I’m certain you would have killed the poor thing if I hadn’t found you when I did,’ Delaine scolded. Crocodile was going to gut this bitch for making her daughter cry like this. ‘I’m just grateful that it was me, I can’t imagine how your... It’s not your fault, of course. Arbo was always selfish, and now he’s made you sick. I’m sorry, honey, but it’s just not safe for Kathryn to be around you until you get well.’

‘Please, mom. Please listen to me,’ she whimpered, her body going weak, trembling.

‘Just listen to the doctor, alright? I know you don’t want to hurt anyone, but you’re sick, honey. You need to— ‘

‘I need you to fucking LISTEN!’

Delaine froze for a moment before turning away, heading toward the door. She walked closer to the cam-snail on her way out, and her eyes looked way too fucking dry.

Crocodile’s rage-filled thoughts were swept away by that young girl’s screams.

‘Mom, please, don’t leave me! Don’t let them— ‘

~~~⚫️⚫️⚫️~~~

~~~

~⚫️~SUMMARY~⚫️~

The scene above is from Crocodile’s POV while he watched a recording of the reader in the asylum when she was fifteen.

Her mother, Delaine, was present, and the reader stated that she wasn’t sick, and begged to see her little sister.

Delaine replied that it wasn’t safe for Kathryn to see her until she was well again and asked if the reader recalled what she did to the snail. The reader said that it was an accident, and asked Delaine to listen.

Delaine stated that she thought the reader would have killed the snail if Delaine hadn’t found her in time, and blamed Arbo’s selfishness for making the reader sick. She denied the reader's request again.

The reader yelled for her mother to listen, however, Delaine walked out, and Crocodile felt rage for how dry her eyes were. The reader screamed for her mother not to leave her, not to let them– (the last line cut off).

~⚫️~SUMMARY~⚫️~

~~~

Y/N’s cries were cut short, the image of her teary face going blurry before the transmission cut out completely.

Crocodile had already destroyed all the furniture, so he crawled through the debris toward the smaller snail, answering the call before he had time to make it.

“Sir— “

“Finish the recording,” he threatened. “It wasn’t done, send it again.”

“The white snail passed out, sir,” Zala reported, her voice shaking almost as much as his fist. “I think that was too much for it all at once. It needs time to recover before we can send any more encrypted data.”

Crocodile could hear his teeth grinding together, but he kept still enough to speak a few words.

“Make sure it’s ready tomorrow.”

~~~🐊🐊🐊~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🤡🤡🤡~~~

Buggy felt somehow empty, and too full at the same time. His mind was too full of those vicious words his star had hissed, too full of fear and guilt over what to do about them.

“Secrets keep fucking shit up,” the clown murmured, pacing again.

It was just a lie. Star was lying to her sister.

It had been some damn good acting though, and Buggy hated the doubts it stirred in him. He couldn’t stuff them down.

I know she loves me, but could she really hate them? I could have sworn she…

Why ya gotta be such a good actor, baby?

Or maybe I’m just the selfish piece of shit that didn’t listen. I was too fucking distracted by that shithead. I wasn’t paying attention to you, Star, I just—

He gave a light yelp when the snail interrupted the constant beat of her heart, grateful to be distracted now while he floated toward Crocodile’s desk.

“Howdy,” Buggy coughed, perking up at the low chuckle that greeted him.

“Hello, little clown.”

“What’s up, crybaby?”

Mihawk’s voice sent chills across his skin, but all the clown could think about were those hateful words.

Murderers.

Monsters.

“Is that Crocodile,” the swordsman asked after a particularly loud crash echoed down the hall. “I have some news to report.”

“He’s watching…”

“Is he watching the feed?”

Now Mihawk’s voice chilled his blood.

“What feed?”

“I’m handling it,” his new lover tried and failed to soothe him. “Why don’t you two call me in the morning? I need to find a new room for the night anyway.”

“Why do you need— “

“How is she?”

Mihawk’s voice cracked just a bit, his desperation pushing through the relaxed front he’d clearly been holding up.

“Same. Finally sleeping,” Buggy rasped, clenching his eyes shut at the spike of a headache. “I’m gonna read my notes again, I think she said something… Crocodile might have something too, so we’ll call you tomorrow.”

…

“Mihawk?”

“You’ll tell me if she’s being hurt?”

“Yeah, I said I would.”

“And you’ll call me if she says she doesn’t want to be there? I don’t care if she whispers it in her sleep, Buggy, I’ll get her out. If she gives even the slightest opening, you’ll call me?”

…

“Bug— “

“Of course I will,” Buggy promised. It wasn’t a lie.

“Thank you. Get some rest, little clown.”

“You too, crybaby.”

Buggy stared blankly at the snail after the call until the near constant crashing and yelling down the corridor got louder. And closer.

His feet followed as fast as they could, but the rest of him charged into the banquet hall in time to see the terrifying sight of Sir Crocodile’s rage. The door to the conference room had been ripped off its hinges, and Buggy was caught in the other doorway, the urge to run held back only by the horror of what that frightening man might have seen.

Star…

Crocodile was alternating between smashing through tables and chairs with his hook, and draining them with his hand, leaving waves of splinters and sand to spill across the gleaming floor.

Until he made it to the head table.

“Hey boss, you really gonna wreck the best table in this shithole?”

Buggy had floated his upper body slightly above the other man’s head. He wasn’t stupid enough to put himself in between Crocodile and his fury, no matter how many memories that table held.

The clown almost fell from the air when those frantic, silver eyes met his.

“Is she still crying?”

“N-no… She’s sleeping.”

Crocodile fell to his knees, the tears on his scarred face slow and unsteady, as though they’d never traveled there before. Buggy brought himself together and did what he knew had to be a stupid thing.

He hugged the raging man, embracing this villain that had destroyed so much.

“I can’t… can’t leave her there, Buggy,” Crocodile panted into the crook of his neck. He nearly brought the clown to the floor with the amount of weight he rested on him.

“Don’t worry,” Buggy strained through his hold, “we’ve got her.”

The larger man crushed him against his chest, sucking down his tears before he started to offer comfort instead of taking it. Buggy made a show of accepting that comfort, knowing that he’d never be a better actor than his shining star.

Can’t tell ‘em. Can’t risk it.

The image of Crocodile and Mihawk collapsing in defeat at the party after Y/N had thrown her cruel words burned through his mind.

I know you’re lying, baby. You’re just a good actor.

Don’t wanna distract these idiots. They don’t know you like I do.

He tried to let go of his guilt, but those words played on a loop.

‘I don’t ever want to see those murderers— those monsters again.’

It wasn’t true.

It was a lie.

Buggy knew it was a lie.

It was a lie. Right, baby?

~~~🤡🤡🤡~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🔴🔴🔴~~~

The other men pushed and shoved each other when the scavenger hunt began, but Shanks had to hold himself back from the race. This one wouldn’t win him another date, and close contact with the other suitors had been pushing his self-control to its limit.

He’d always been able to let insults slide when it came to himself, when it was only words, but Shanks couldn’t recall this suffocating feeling.

This entire hunt was an insult, a torture made just for Y/N, and everyone here was having a lovely time using her.

Shanks could feel himself about to snap, and only his surety that it wouldn’t help her stayed his hand.

She couldn’t show her own rage, and it would be stupid and selfish to show his.

So, the red haired pirate sat this hunt out, staring at the old man that had weaseled his way beside her.

~~~🔴🔴🔴~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

What was the theme today? Creating love? Finding my heart? Uncle really should have hired a showrunner for this shit.

By gods, you were bored. And having “Gibby” at your side was only making your condition worse.

“These young bucks sure do like to show off,” he teased, leaning his bony shoulder against yours, the scent of whiskey nearly knocking you out. “But I know what a sharp girl like you craves.”

“And what’s that, Gibby,” you flirted.

It would be so easy to kill him, wouldn’t it? Just a good punch to the throat would probably end this old man. But that would be it. So many eyes… He’s not worth it.

“A challenge of course,” he announced as though revealing a delightful trick. “You want to use your talents. All these little boys want is a little wife.”

“Oh,” you arched a brow, “and what do you want?”

The creep pinched your cheek. Even with your renewed determination, pretending was fucking rough.

“I want Lady Luck by my side, of course.”

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🗡️🗡️🗡️~~~

How many… Do lives or liters of blood count for more? Those lives are nothing but—

“Mihawk?”

“I’m here.”

Crocodile’s voice was off. If not for his trained sense of hearing, Mihawk would have believed that voice belonged to someone else.

But it was him. His daddy. His brutal business partner that was too sweet on their former victims.

“You go first, crybaby,” Buggy threatened, bringing a tiny smile to the swordsman’s lips.

“Sylvad’s little game has an illegal broadcast,” Mihawk shared lightly, pretending it was fine. “Underground gambling rings are holding showings every night for an impressive fee. The show appears to be isolated to the surrounding island kingdoms, but that’s probably wishful thinking.”

The silence was torturous for them all, holding nothing but impotent rage.

Mihawk stretched his neck, removing his hat to keep it from scraping against the dusty walls. He’d found a lovely, little shed to lie in wait in until his prey were all lined up.

“I’ll be attending a showing tonight, so I should be able to watch the hunt. I’ll study the layout, and hopefully I’ll see something that you aren’t able to hear.”

“So, we’re all spying on her now,” Buggy sighed. The sound was so animated; Mihawk could see those shoulders slumping in his mind.

He didn’t know when he’d gotten so used to these men in his life.

“Wait,” he interrupted his own thoughts. “Crocodile, if you weren’t watching the feed last night, what were you watching?”

“He can’t tell us,” Buggy said, his voice gentle, but pained. “Recordings of Y/N at the asylum. Croc’s poky, lady agent, and the scary, little girl nicked them for us. “

Mihawk’s blood froze in his veins as the memory of her flashed in his mind. His rabbit had looked so beautiful that last day. Beautiful, but wrong.

“Crocodile?”

…

“Can you tell us anything yet, boss? Daddy?”

“Just a kill list,” Crocodile rasped, and Mihawk realized what that tone in his voice was.

Despair.

“I haven’t finished watching yet. Just waiting on the snail. She wouldn't want me to hurt the snail…”

“Okie dokie,” Buggy loudly redirected, the sound of awkward pats coming through. “Star said something to her sister when she was crying last night. I think Asshole Charmer was right, she’s trying to protect Kat from something.”

“What did— “

“She said, ‘I left you,” Buggy rushed before either man finished asking, the strain in his voice ramping up. “Then she lied again. Told Kat she wanted to be there.”

“They wouldn’t let her see her sister,” Crocodile breathed, a distance in his words that had nothing to do with the ocean between them.

“So, we have to find out what Kathryn Sylvad needs protection from,” the swordsman hummed. “When our little rabbit showed us her fangs, she mentioned the Celestial— “

“Kat said Uncle LimpDick can’t sell her anymore though. She’s too old for those creeps.”

“But Y/N didn’t know that until she got to the estate. If that’s why she left, then we can—”

Hope had crept into Crocodile’s voice, and it was almost more painful to hear, especially when it was killed so quickly.

“She could have gotten out with the merman yesterday,” Buggy reminded him, his usual frustration seeming muted. Anger was still present, but it was wrapped up in softer, sadder things while he caught Mihawk up on the prince’s offer. “Star’s acting like a fucking martyr.”

“It’s gotta be the doctor. Sylvad said something about the fucking doctor before she left us,” Crocodile trailed off, leaving them all to sink into the memory of that night. “That’s who she fears.”

“Then that’s who dies first.”

That dusty, little shed became a cage, the monster within him nearly tearing through it at the thought of blood.

“Wait,” his clown commanded.

He obeyed.

“You can’t just run in there and kill everyone on your own now. You have to protect both of them. We need a plan.”

This silence was full of caution, but it held the taste of possibilities.

The swordsman wanted to sever his own tongue for dashing that new hope so soon.

“We can’t force them. If her sister wants to keep that stifled life, then Y/N won’t forgive us for ripping her from it.”

Mihawk sighed, remembering the rage on his darling’s face so clearly. It might be the only face of hers that he’d be worthy of seeing again.

“So, I’m still our last resort. I’ll take her hate for you, Buggy.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Buggy groaned. “We know more than we did before, so we just need to keep looking. We’re gonna get her back. You got that, shitheads?”

How strange to recognize the sound of a hug. Buggy’s little hum of surprise, followed by a soft sigh that had to be from Crocodile’s lips, hit Mihawk with a wave of heat. The sensation built up in his throat until he shook it off.

Y/N wouldn't be the only thing he’d lose if he stole her away. The World’s Greatest Swordsman would lose this strange, little home he’d found with this strange, little guild.

“You got it, boss,” Mihawk teased.

“Shut up.”

“Whatever you say, Mr. President,” Crocodile joined in.

The swordsman smiled in that dusty shed, pretending for a moment that this strange, little home he’d found would still be his.

~~~🗡️🗡️🗡️~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

Giberson never shut the fuck up, so you hadn’t caught most of the scavenger hunt, but soon enough, Uncle Cedrick was announcing the winner.

“There are no rules against hunters helping each other win,” he teased while the Vinsmoke brothers walked toward you. Ichiji was carrying a large wooden heart, a few missing pieces of the puzzle held in the losers’ hands, but he held the most.

Apparently, the younger brothers had given their pieces to the oldest prince, flanking him as they all knelt before you.

“I’m looking forward to showering you with many more gifts,” he smirked, smoothing his fingers over yours when he placed that wooden heart in your lap. “Gifts worthy of a princess.”

Cheesy. Cocky. His brothers’ lecherous stares weren’t helping.

But I might as well enjoy it, you thought, gifting him with a coy smile.

~~~

This opulent room had always been too ridiculously large to be the family game room, especially since you’d only play with your dad, or your sister, never both. Dad always had some work to take care of when Kat asked to play, and Mom never liked board games.

At least someone’s still playing games in here.

“Come here, sugar,” Giberson pulled you along, looking healthier than you’d seen him so far. “You ever played Blackjack?”

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

~~~~~~

~~~⏰🐊🐊🐊⏰~~~

“Hit me.”

“Is that an order, sir?”

Crocodile chuckled, feeling loose for a rare moment while he smirked at the woman across the table. Rain Dinners was as vibrant as ever, a stolen oasis that he planned to grow. The casino pulsed with greed, but a quiet air seemed to fall over the two of them.

“No orders at the table, sweetheart. You know that.”

Fuck.

This woman’s silence always held an itching weight, that little smile making him narrow his eyes. He was the one that had slipped up. No time for that.

Not until his work was done.

“Hm, it looks like a bust for both of us, sir. I hope your orders don’t land us in a similar position,” she taunted in that airy voice of hers, as though her thoughts were merely floating through space, drifting by with no fault of her own. Yet her eyes sparkled.

Crocodile ignored how much he liked it when they did that.

“Have a little faith, Miss All Sunday,” he grinned, the noise of the casino drowned out by her soft chuckle, her haunted eyes filling with a hard edge, a challenge. “Don’t you trust me? We’re gonna build a better world together.”

Her soft chuckle turned to outright laughter, the pretty sound bringing more eyes to their elevated table. That beautiful face tilted back, and the brim of her white hat shifted enough to let the glittering lights touch her skin.

He paused to watch her, knowing that he was distracted. Knowing that she was an agent, that he couldn’t risk losing his balance until he’d met his goal.

This girl is nothing but an asset. That’s all anyone is until I’m done.

“Come, Crocodile, you and I both know that trust can be a fatal mistake. I know you didn’t bring me here for false promises, and I would leave if I thought you’d become such a sentimental fool.”

Soft hands sprouted from the table before him, lighting his cigar, and holding it to his lips while he gave a few gentle puffs. Those taunting eyes never strayed from his.

“You know me too well,” he laughed, taking a larger sip of scotch than he’d meant to. This asset of his had many uses, and interesting company was becoming too much of a favorite. “What kind of world do you wanna build when we get there?”

The way she stared at him… It was as though she was right there, seeing deep into the core of him, yet somehow distant. No matter how much time she spent by his side, they were always light years apart.

“Are you feeling sentimental, boss?”

“Not at all,” Crocodile snorted before downing the rest of his drink. He motioned for another round but couldn’t shake off the sticky feeling of her knowing gaze.

She’s right. What the fuck am I doing? Can’t think like this. Not yet.

Nico Robin smirked while her many hands gathered the cards, dealing a fresh game. Crocodile found himself feeling proud of her practiced distance, but had to fight harder than he should have to keep from tugging at it.

Trust is worthless in a world like this.

“Well, boss?”

“Hit me.”

So, I’ll make a better world.

~~~⏰🐊🐊🐊⏰~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

Everything was shining. Unlike most casinos, the shine in your family’s estate wasn’t just for show.

It was another world. The glamor, the music, and the liquor seemed to hypnotize the crowd. Time was a commodity here, seconds falling away like the chips on the table.

You might have been drawn in if you hadn’t been squeezed into this slinky, sequined dress. Viridian green sparkled under the lights, and it wasn’t as uncomfortable as you’d thought it would be. Still fucking distracting though.

I wonder what his casino was like. Would he have liked this dress? He did prefer scales over—

Stop.

You almost asked why Giberson had foregone his private date for this public display but decided not to risk giving him the opening to take you somewhere else. He dragged a velvet covered stool close beside him before wrapping his frail arm around your shoulders, pulling you as close to his side as possible.

Your smile stayed pretty under the golden lights, even as the sounds of the small casino bombarded you. All the hunters, and more guests than you’d seen here before, watched your every move when they weren’t losing berry.

“What’d ya say, darlin,” he winked, nodding toward the cards on the table. “Should I risk it?”

At least there’s something for me to focus on.

“Hit me,” he declared when you nodded, whistling and jostling you when he hit twenty one. “I knew I had a good feeling about you.”

“Is this why you’re here, Gibby? I’m sure you realize that my husband won’t need to gamble to be swimming in berry.”

Those words should not have left your lips. You didn’t need the nearest cam-snail’s drooping eyes to tell you that, but you couldn’t take it back. Playing up the flirtation was all you could think of to salvage it.

The old man raised a brow at you, chuckling at your fluttering lashes.

“You are a sweet, devilish thing, aren’t you, dear?”

Your denial died on your tongue when your eyes got caught across the room, your red-haired prey staring hard at the hand Giberson had brought to your chin.

This old man deserved your gratitude for tilting your face away from those soft, brown eyes.

“I am many things, Gibby,” you purred. “And I am sure that you should stand.”

“I’ve gotta listen to my Lady Luck,” he laughed, wiggling your shoulders to show you off to the leeches at the table.

“Isn’t that cheating,” one of them mumbled, earning a sickly, sweet smile from your lips.

“All is fair in love and war,” you teased, tapping the felt-covered table with one of Giberson’s many chips. “Besides, card counters have to watch a game for longer than I’ve been at the table. It was just a lucky guess.”

Oh, how you ached to smash that entitled asshole’s face onto the shining table.

“You’re one to talk, Linus,” Giberson leaned around you to smirk at the man. The scent of liquor on his breath hit you like a train. “I believe you’re on mistress number three, aren’t you? Or what should we call this newest one, a boy toy? I suppose if Annie knows, then it’s not cheating, but either way, I’m sure she knows now.”

Linus’ face went from annoyance to horror impressively fast when he glanced at the very not-droopy snail on the table, and you bit your lip to keep from laughing.

The man snarled, barely shifting toward you before Uncle’s security guards snatched him away.

“Poor Linus,” you sighed while you shook your head. The satisfaction that warmed your skin only proved your self-hating thoughts, but it was more entertaining than being empty.

Everyone here is a leech. Gorging on my blood and humiliation, eating me alive so they can feel more alive for a while. Fuck them all.

“Don’t worry about him,” your date pulled you back toward the game, “Annie’s been sleeping with his mother since their wedding night, so I’m sure she won’t be too broken up over it.”

You laughed enough that when he bought a bottle and poured you both a shot, you drank the burning whiskey.

After he drank his first, of course.

Then you won him lots of berry and giggled while he whispered secrets about all those shining guests in your ear.

Maybe this old man isn’t so boring after all.

Laughing, and winning, and numbing it all down felt so good. If only you could rid yourself of those stupid, brown eyes that stuck to you more than the old man’s weak hand on your sequined thigh.

“Do you know anything about— “

“Sorry, sweetheart,” Giberson hummed, filling your glass again. He nodded toward the red-haired pirate in the corner before shaking his head. “Afraid I can’t talk about the competition. I’d like to survive long enough to see the end of this delightful game.”

~~~

The corridors were endless. You’d traveled them so many times as a kid, but never quite like this.

Never drunk, in stupid, pointy heels that got caught in the plush carpet, while annoying servants tried to grab your elbows every time you swayed.

It was fine.

It was stupid.

But you weren’t even mad at yourself for being so reckless. Apathy could save or ruin you in a place like this.

All you wanted was to feel nothing. There were many kinds of numb to find, but this particular buzz was wearing off too fast.

You had kept up your smile, and the bells had rung before you lost your mind to liquor. Yet now that the wall of eyes wasn’t on you, that liquor felt thick in your veins, and you needed to scream.

“Don’t fucking touch me!”

“I’m sorry, Miss Sylvad, but— “

“I’ll take it from here. We wouldn’t want any more accidents now, would we, niece?”

You blinked, and the staff had already scurried away, leaving you alone with him.

“My little smarty,” Uncle Cedrick teased, digging his fingers into your arm while he guided you toward your suite. “Finally contributing to the family, after all these years. You almost had me believing that you’d like to marry that old bastard.”

“It’s too early to tell.”

Damn it…

A different kind of numb pulled you down while your gaze trailed down his face.

His jaw is moving a lot. It’s okay. No, not the lips. Jaw. Eyes are too much. Can’t look up. Just down. Can’t look away.

Fuck, I’m dizzy.

“He was never in the running anyway. The nuisance learned about the hunt and asked to join, and I couldn’t risk insulting the man.”

All the words were hitting your wobbly brain, a headache building behind your brow until you gasped at his sudden touch. Your uncle gripped your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze in the darkened hallway.

“You’re going to send the old man away tomorrow, and the fishman the day after that. You may be a selfish brat, but you’re still a Sylvad. It wouldn’t do to let you get stuffed full of expired seed, or guppies, now, would it?”

His eyes flared with satisfaction when you couldn’t hide the horror and disgust that twisted your features. You were trapped, gulping down your bile while he leaned over you, gripping tighter.

“Keep up the good work, niece,” Uncle hummed while he tilted you toward your door. “Now go wash up. Whiskey isn’t a flattering scent on a blushing bride.”

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🐊🐊🐊~~~

There was no point in fixing the conference room. Any replacement furniture would have been shattered the second he saw those tear-filled eyes on the screen.

A makeshift door had been propped up for privacy, although there was no one but Buggy within range of Crocodile’s rage.

That pathetic, useless rage that left the scarred man sitting on the floor in a pile of splinters and sand again, fighting not to drink. Not yet, at least.

“Good evening, sir.”

“Is it ready,” Crocodile rasped, not ready for the answer.

“I believe so, sir,” Zala reported, her lovely voice too somber to be soothing. “The next cam-snail’s date is a bit smudged, so I’m not certain the timing is right. We’re trying to send them in order— “

“Just send it.”

…

“Agent?”

“Of course, sir,” the deadly woman breathed, strangely soft through the line. “Do you have orders for us when we arrive? We still have over a week, but it could be two days less if we— “

“Await your orders,” Crocodile growled, more at his own powerlessness than her questioning.

“Of course,” Zala conceded, sharing her next words in a rush before ending the call. “We’ll get her back, sir. I won’t fail again.”

~~~

For a cruel moment, Crocodile’s breath caught in hope. His sweet girl looked better.

He should have known better.

‘How are you feeling today, Y/N?’

~~~⚫⚫⚫~~~

‘I’m feeling well, thank you, doctor,’ she hummed softly, keeping her eyes low, although the doctor was still offscreen. A nurse guided her to sit, no restraints holding her to the table this time.

‘Are you ready to begin?’

‘Yes, doctor.’

His girl was empty. Poised and polite with nothing inside.

They made a doll out of her.

‘Just breathe, Y/N,’ Dr. Vorsan instructed, his slippery voice making Crocodile’s fingers twitch. ‘The snail won’t hurt you, and you aren’t going to hurt it.’

‘Of course, I won’t–’

‘Soft hands, Y/N,’ he warned while she unclenched her jaw and fists.

A transponder snail was placed on the table before her, and her eyes went slow and droopy while she stared at it.

‘We discussed this, Y/N.’ The doctor clicked his tongue while the nurse reached for the snail. Y/N shook herself but stopped before her hand got too close to the creature.

Her eyes were wide now, her panicked breaths loud enough for him to hear all these years later.

‘I’m sorry, please,’ Y/N strained, going empty again while she pleaded. ‘I’m okay. I want to call my sister.’

‘Are you sure you’re ready,’ Vorsan needled. That voice was so perfectly kind, yet violent. It was a syringe that promised healing, but forced too much, poisoning with what seemed like a cure. ‘Take your time, Y/N. If you push yourself too far, you might have another episode, and I know you don’t want to put your family through that. You don’t want to hurt–’

‘I want to be well, doctor.’

Wrong. So, fucking wrong.

‘Please, let me try again,’ Y/N begged, her sweet voice placating the monster out of view. ‘I’ll breathe and go slow. I want to get better.’

The nurse brought the snail back, and Crocodile couldn’t tell how much time passed while she stared at it. Her eyes were present, yet he could see the strain, her almost-smile shaking a bit.

“What the fuck?”

The fucking snail had started ringing, and Y/N’s scream made him choke. She struggled to swallow it down, rocking in her seat until the nurse reached out to take it. She took in a breath when she reached out instead to answer, that sickening smile on her face.

‘Hey, smarty.’

Crocodile’s hook dug deep lines along the floor.

‘I heard you were practicing with the snail today, so I thought I’d help out. We all want you back home, safe and sound. Although, I suppose it’s not your safety we should be worrying about.’

If not for the slow shine of unspilled tears that grew in her eyes, Crocodile would have thought the recording had paused. She was frozen, until she flinched at his next words.

‘I should probably check on little Kathryn. I told them not to sail this close to Aqua Laguna, but you know how stubborn–’

‘You’re lying,’ she screamed, spittle flying toward the snail before nurses appeared to restrain her. ‘Let me talk to my sister!’

‘Oh dear, you don’t sound very well, niece. I hope–’

‘Fuck you! Where’s Kat? Let me see my– Get your fucking hands off of me! I’m gonna kill…’

Cedrick Sylvad’s laughter creeped through the air, the transponder snail carrying that vile sound through space and time.

Y/N had gone still, letting the nurses entangle their arms with hers, trapping her between them while they called nonsensical orders to each other in bland voices.

She didn’t cry.

Didn’t apologize.

Didn’t fight.

She looked like she’d been defeated, and Sylvad’s gloating laughter proved the point.

‘I hope you get well soon, niece,” her uncle taunted. ‘I’ll tell your sister you’re not ready yet, once she gets back. Hopefully she makes it before the storm hits.’

Crocodile’s sweet girl slumped, her body going limp while so many others held her up. Cedrick Sylvad’s laughter ripped through the air until she was carted away, and the wall went dark.

~~~⚫⚫⚫~~~

~~~

~⚫~SUMMARY~⚫~

The scene above was from Crocodile’s POV as he watched another recording of Y/N at the asylum. During this recording, Crocodile noticed that the reader appeared to be “better.” However, the prodding voice of Dr. Vorsan, and the reveal of a transponder snail showed that the reader was struggling to maintain her “doll-like” emptiness. The reader expressed a desire to speak with her sister, and was cooperating with the doctor, although he scolded her and reminded her of the potential violence she may cause. The reader remained calm and requested to try speaking with the snail again. The snail rang unexpectedly, and her uncle began to speak through it, causing the reader to become afraid, then react violently when Cedrick stated that her sister was currently sailing close to the time of the Aqua Laguna storm. The reader began to yell and threaten violence, until she looked defeated while her uncle laughed. The reader went limp while nurses restrained her and carried her away before the recording ended.

~⚫~SUMMARY~⚫~

~~~🐊🐊🐊~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

“Leave her alone, Uncle,” Kat seethed, charging into the hall to pull you from his grasp.

“I’m just making sure she gets home safe,” he teased, clicking his tongue before releasing you. “Looks like big sis needs your help tonight. Aren’t you relieved that you won’t have to be her babysitter for much longer?”

“Fuck you— “

“It’s alright, Kitty,” you smiled, fighting your shaking muscles, and the nausea that flooded your body. “You got any snacks in your suite?”

“Ta-ta,” Uncle Cedrick smirked, thankfully walking away.

Leaving you with her.

Fuck. I’m making her take care of me again. Selfish. Piece of shit. Stop.

“What kind of snacks do you want,” Kat frowned. Her eyes were sharp against your swaying form, but you held up your smile for her.

“Salty. Crunchy.”

“Alright, drunky,” she rolled her eyes, “will you drink some fucking water first?”

~~~

Gods, it’s bright. Smile. Don’t forget to smile.

“Are you feeling well, niece?”

Uncle Cedrick beamed down at you, guiding you to the fallen tree in the courtyard, where the applause that greeted you made you want to chop your fucking ears off. The ungodly amount of coffee you’d inhaled during the breakfast with Giberson had been for naught, and you couldn’t recall any of the long winded stories he’d trampled you with.

There’d be no more of his stories for you after this.

“Good afternoon, fine friends and hunters,” he addressed the crowd, and the suitors lined up along the carved bench. His practiced movements spread large across the side of the manor for all to see. You caught him glancing at his image on the projector screen enough times that you almost laughed.

It probably would have hurt to laugh right now.

“Before today’s hunt begins, I’m afraid that one of our contestants has missed the mark.”

Uncle pulled an arrow from the quiver at his back. He pressed the point of it to your chest, making the leeches gasp with mock fear or delight before he broke it in half.

“Go on, dear niece,” he ordered, pressing the splintered wood into your hand. “Who failed to pierce your heart?”

Don’t let it in. Nothing matters. Just her.

Fading into yourself, you put on a show, avoiding the sight of your simpering smile on the wall. Tittering noises filled the air while the wooden platform moved you from suitor to suitor, and you could hear the vultures calling out their last-minute bets.

You put on a good show, but eyes were too much. An inch below their left eye. That’s where you’d look while you paused.

No favorites. No least favorites.

The moving platform wasn’t helping your nausea, or it might have been the scent of the Emperor whose crooked smile was almost as abhorrent to look at as his soft eyes.

The painfully slow display finally came to a halt, the stench of whiskey still too fresh in your mind.

The old man hadn’t been that bad though.

“I’m sorry, Gibby. Your arrow didn’t pierce my heart.”

He took the broken arrow, before kissing your forehead, his mustache scratching along your skin.

“Not to worry, my dear,” Giberson soothed, humming at the noises of the winners and losers in the crowd. From the sound of it, he’d been an underdog in the race anyway. “I feel lucky just to be here at all. Thank you for the lovely company.”

You needed to sit down.

You had to keep smiling.

“Of course, Gibby,” your uncle shmoozed, gripping Giberson by the shoulder. He appeared to be speaking to the failed hunter, but his voice was too clear, his words too pointed.

Another part of the show.

“You may not be in the running to be our family, but you wouldn’t be here if you weren’t a friend of the Sylvad’s,” Uncle Cedrick glowed as the leeches practically moaned at the implication. Everyone wanted to be in his world. “You are more than welcome to stay for the festivities as a guest, so long as you don’t act like a sore loser and ruin the fun, of course.”

The joviality in the air was too full of greed. Your future was never going to be yours, but you hadn't expected him to let so many others join in his game.

This game that never fucking stopped.

“Our lovely doe has requested a show of love for today’s hunt,” he took your hand and spun you for the crowd, grabbing you by the waist to keep you from tripping over yourself. “Run along, hunters. In the woods you’ll find materials of all sorts, but you’re welcome to use your own. Create something to show how you’ll care for your dear wife once you catch her. Care to give them any tips, Y/N?”

Fuck you.

“The man I love will make me smile.”

Uncle Cedrick caught his frown before it fully formed, but your tiny rebellion went cold when his eyes flicked to the locket you were fidgeting with.

“You heard the doe, hunters,” he ordered, studying your shaky hands that you dropped to your sides too fast. “Make your prey smile before you pierce her heart.”

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

~~~~~~

~~~⏰🐊🐊🐊⏰~~~

He shouldn’t have been dropping his guard like this, but something about this room, this ridiculous, green couch, and that sweet girl’s flustered face, had Sir Crocodile fighting off a smile.

“But… I’ve still got work to do, and they— “

“Is my sweet girl worried about other men right now,” he threatened, patting the cushion beside him while he tried to keep his balance.

The clown was off preparing for that gods awful show they’d have to sit through at the party, while the swordsman ran through security. Since Crocodile had already sent agents out to hunt for party favors, he had a free moment, and he chose to spend it taunting their numbers girl.

She looked so pretty with that flash of fear in her eyes.

Especially when she gave in so quickly.

“N-no, I…”

“You’ve been working so hard. I can help you relax. Wanna take a break, sweetheart?”

Y/N bit her lip softly, and Crocodile nearly launched himself at her. Patience wasn’t one of his virtues, but luckily his numbers girl got to her feet.

“Not so fast, darlin,” he teased while she yelped in his grasp, moving through sand to carry her before she could take a step with her bare feet.

“Fuck!”

She looked so cute when he tossed her onto his desk. Y/N was shaking so much that he almost stopped, his fingers clenching against the wooden desk while he took a final puff of his cigar. The feel of smoke on his tongue only made him crave her more.

“Well, sweetheart, you’re not scared to be alone with me, are— “

“I want you, daddy,” Y/N vowed, her voice like some heavenly song, guiding him toward things he didn’t deserve. She sat up, reaching, clinging to him until he chuckled and pushed her soft fingers away. She’d tugged at his silk scarf, and he let her keep the purple fabric when he shoved her back onto the desk.

“Are you gonna be a good girl, and relax for me,” he taunted. Crocodile stamped out his cigar before kneeling beside his desk, fighting his smile again at every desperate noise she made while he set her legs up on his shoulders. She nodded fast while he tore through her cheap panties with his hook, and her scent finally did him in.

This ex-warlord, this wicked pirate, this bad man… was smiling. Smiling from pleasure and peace instead of cruelty and greed.

Sir Crocodile caught his smile as he pressed it against that sweet, swollen flesh, loving the way she tore at his hair. Her fingers went rough, then weak, again and again, as though she couldn’t help her need, but feared his reaction.

“Let go, sweetheart. Let Daddy have it all,” he purred before shoving his tongue so deep. He moaned while he drank at her pleasure, proud of how she took what she needed, pulling his hair at the roots while she fell apart.

“You’re doing so well,” Crocodile praised, fighting everything in him not to claim this sweet girl for himself, his own little dream.

“Please, daddy.”

“My little girl’s so hungry,” he laughed while his fingers teased along all the wetness she spread before him. “You can have everything you want.”

Y/N had pushed onto her elbows to meet his eyes, but fell back, her body arching when he shoved two fingers into her pretty cunt. Her moans were so fucking precious that the ex-warlord’s mind went blank. Nothing but her.

“It’s still work hours, sugar. Try to keep it down.”

Fuck, she was gorgeous when her eyes rolled back, eagerly letting him shove that purple silk into her mouth. She was already crying when he undid his slacks, freeing himself to tease along that needy flesh.

Crocodile missed, pouring lube down the side of the desk before covering his leaking cock. She was too good of a girl for him to rush this, but the feel of his own lubed hand was nearly enough while he watched her begging beneath him.

“That’s it, sweetheart,” he guided her while he held himself back. “You can take it, can’t you?”

He tried to be gentle, but Y/N still cried and screamed, so he fucked himself into her until his scarf fell from her lips.

“It’s too— feels too good— fuck!!”

She spoke the truth until he shoved the silk back into her mouth. It felt too fucking good to fill her up, to feel her body stretching and fighting to hold him. So soft, so wet, so fucking tight around his cock with every thrust.

But she could take him. She could take all of him, and she looked beautifully wrecked while she did, that silk scarf dark with spit now when he tugged it from her lips again.

“Where does my sweet girl— “

“Inside me, daddy,” Y/N cried out before her body milked his again, eyes going white while she came. “Come inside me, please!”

“Fuck, you take me so well, baby girl. Mm— so fucking perfect…”

Crocodile held her down, pressing his palm against her chest. He hadn’t realized that his hook had been tracing along her side until he started filling her, but she looked like she was enjoying it, so he didn’t bother to stop.

She looked like she was enjoying getting fucked by a monster.

She looked so sweet when he met her eyes, pulling out slowly to keep from causing more harm.

“Daddy…”

“Hey, sweet girl,” he hummed while he kissed her neck. Her squirms were enough, and he felt his scarred face smiling against her skin once more. “How— “

“You could have just said you wanted her to yourself for a while,” the swordsman taunted from the doorway that had opened too quietly.

Or maybe Crocodile had let himself get too distracted.

“I thought you didn’t like liars,” Mihawk smirked, moving close enough to snag the spit-soaked scarf from the desk.

“We got some work done,” Crocodile told the truth, although it felt like a lie when he looked down at her. “My sweet girl just needed a break.”

~~~⏰🐊🐊🐊⏰~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🗡️🗡️🗡️~~~

Their faces were easy to match up with the voices he’d planned to end while he listened in that dusty shed. This drab, little hole had been shined up so brightly, almost passing for a real casino, but Mihawk knew it could still use a fresh coat of red paint.

“I suppose that only imbeciles would fail to recognize me when I walk through the door. I had assumed that was what all of you were, given your foolish choice in hobbies.”

“Hawkeye— Mr. Mihawk, sir, please,” the owner of the stale, little hall beckoned him toward the sticky, corner booth, “you’re an honored guest! Please, relax, and let us show you how we party in Majiastuka.”

The slim possibility of those words swaying the ex-warlord burned away when faraway voices filled the air.

‘You’re our little princess now.’

Their deaths would come later. For now, Mihawk kept his gaze away from the projector screen, and the flustered face of his little rabbit.

“What a delightful invitation,” the world’s greatest swordsman sneered, drawing his black blade to hover over the filthy floorboards. “Unfortunately, I have already had my fill of your wretched squeals. Unless you can tell me how to reach Miss Sylvad, your worthless time on this planet is over.”

“Fuck thi— “

A coward off to the side stumbled while he cursed, fleeing toward the door. Mihawk didn’t even need to shift his eyes in that direction; Yoru simply flicked across the floor, the blade smacking into a chair that cracked the man’s neck when it hit.

Every movement, every breath was precise.

A predator, and its prey.

“Hey man, I’m sorry, okay,” the pathetic kingpin begged while the ex-warlord stalked closer. “How can I help? Anything, please!”

“Such a well-mannered beast,” Mihawk growled while he dug his nails into the man’s jaw. “I’m taking your special snail, and I shall take your life if you don’t tell me where the fuck you got it from.”

~~~🗡️🗡️🗡️~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

This might be the worst idea you’d ever had.

“It’s a…”

“Graham cracker house. They’re usually gingerbread, but no one likes to eat that shit.”

Cracker beamed down at you, so proud of the sloppy, edible house that he’d dropped onto your lap.

“That’s you,” he pointed toward the misshapen figure by the front door. “I know that you’re a good girl that wants to help your family. I’ll help you be happy and safe, and you’ll help our family grow.”

Oh.

The misshapen clump finally took shape in your mind; that fucked up cracker was meant to be you.

Barefoot and pregnant.

This is super fucking fun.

“Thank you, Cracker. It’s lovely.”

“It’s trash,” Cracker corrected with that menacing grin, and you almost yelped when he touched your face. You had to meet his eyes, and that basic, human intimacy, coupled with the scent of that sugary house, nearly had you spilling your disgust onto the floor.

Nausea had you in a chokehold, but that didn’t stop your smile.

This ridiculous man leaned down, and the sparks at the ends of his hair were too fucking close to your face when he purred in your ear.

“You’re the only lovely thing I see.”

~~~

How strange that the sight of such a light and precious thing could drag you down so far.

In the place of a pearl, the shell opened to show a long-lasting bubble. The treasure had become a reminder of your selfishness and privilege, yet your heart still ached at the sight.

Precious trees had helped create this little magic. Sabaody should have been treasured, protected.

Instead, it was hell: a humiliating torture for people that didn’t look like you.

“It’s beautiful, Prince Fukaboshi,” you sighed. “Thank you.”

“It is nowhere near as beautiful as your selfless heart.”

Smiling was harder when you had to swallow the burning bile on the back of your tongue.

~~~

“This is very nice,” you lied.

“It’s a poor rendition,” your prey laughed at his ugly drawing of what looked like a pile of fingers until you deciphered the shapes. “Starfish cling to their world, holding tight to their home… I could have stolen it for you, but it’s not right to take a star from where it belongs.”

“So, you left my star all alone,” you managed to pout; you were a selfish, spoiled, rich girl.

Starfish were apparently too much for you to handle.

~~~

“What do ya think, numbers girl?”

That deep voice made you shiver, shaking you out of your fog, but into the chaos of old desire.

You knew you should hate him. You should be disgusted by his mere presence here, by all the details that would make your eyebrows raise if you heard them about a similar relationship.

But you were too far gone to give a fuck.

Mr. Iceburg was smiling at you. He was reaching out to rest his hand on yours before offering a gift he’d made with those same, lovely hands. The rough skin scraping against yours seemed to send you back in time, a teenage craving, still unfulfilled.

“There wasn’t enough time, but I hope you like it,” Iceburg hummed when he placed a small, carved ship in your palm. The rough wood smelled incredible, and it was beautiful, rough as it was.

All the details were vague, but your thumb traced across the redwood he’d carved onto the main sail.

It wasn’t just his looks that had stolen your heart when you were younger. Mr. Iceburg had an air of kindness and wonderment about him that reminded you what those feelings could be like.

Were you too far gone to feel that light?

Was he too much of a leech for it to be real?

Who fucking cares? It’s Mr. Iceburg.

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🔴🔴🔴~~~

“So, you left my star all alone?”

Y/N’s pouting lips were too much; Shanks was horrified by her ability to lie with every part of her.

“Well, I…”

That fallen star smiled while the bells called him away, and she chose another man, yet again.

~~~

The Great Red-Haired Shanks was fucking useless.

He had fucked up so completely that his every step to fix things put miles and miles between them.

And he couldn’t fucking talk about it.

The estate was literally crawling with snails, so Shanks couldn’t risk speaking openly to his first mate. He couldn’t relax for a second with how hyper aware he’d become of the low hum of their presence.

How the fuck does she live like this?

Throughout the pain and hardships of his own life, this Emperor of the Sea had carried something with him that he was lacking here, and the discomfort of its loss felt like another phantom pain, an unreachable itch.

Shanks was raised as a pirate.

He was raised to be free.

No one was free on this wretched island, except for the tyrant that toyed with them all.

Cedrick Sylvad hadn’t joined the group that flocked to his little casino for a second night. He didn’t need the cash.

The red-haired pirate followed the leeches and did his best to shove his frustrations aside while he fought for her.

“Still here, huh?”

“Why would I leave,” Giberson breathed noxious fumes into his face while he leaned over his cards. “This game’s only just begun.”

~~~🔴🔴🔴~~~

~~~~~

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

Kat’s face pulled you into the moment, her quivering lips failing to hold back her disparaging smile.

You couldn’t blame her.

“That’s a really nice cape,” she snorted, falling into laughter.

“I thought you wanted me to marry a Vinsmoke.” Your words were strained, although annoyance or laughter could have been the cause.

“Totally,” she managed to deadpan. “Definitely the number one choice.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

It was so good to see her cackle, even if you had to wear this poofy, frilly, fire-engine red gown to make it happen.

The cape wasn’t nearly as bad as the embroidered “ones” along the hems.

“I want you to marry one of them if…”

“Spit it out,” you ordered, holding in your own laughs while Kat fell apart.

“If they’re your number one choice,” she squeaked again while she steadied herself with a hand on her thigh.

You couldn’t blame her. Not with the state your hair was in.

~~~

“Tonight, we have lifted one of our rules for the sake of fairness to our esteemed hunters,” Uncle charmed the crowd, his fingers resting on the back of your neck.

He looked down at you with that practiced mask of a doting uncle while he gripped your skin like you were an unruly animal that he had to control.

“My dear niece must remain within the borders of the island, but the sky’s the limit now.”

He stepped away with a smirk, and you were too drained from smiling to care what he meant. It was always a game at your expense. You were just glad that he wasn’t touching you anymore.

Resisting the urge to scratch his eyes out like the unruly animal you were took a lot of energy, and you were going to need it tonight.

The vultures were practically squealing while Prince Ichiji walked up the path, flanked on either side by his brothers. The ruffles on their shirts looked natural on them, and their capes just reminded you that they were royalty, even if they descended from vicious conquerors who claimed that status. From all you’d gathered, these current Vinsmokes seem to carry that violent legacy.

Except for when they looked at you.

Ichiji held out the longest, but soon the three of them were staring at you like hungry puppies. Niji and Yonji knelt at your sides to kiss your hands, thoroughly. Ichiji leaned down, the swoops in his red hair casting distracting shadows across his face beneath the lanterns.

“Everyone’s fighting to take home the lovely prize,” he breathed against your ear before he pulled back to meet your eyes. “But they can’t have you.”

“Oh,” you tried to tease, but the kisses still peppering your hands and fingers were too distracting. “Why is that?”

The three of them laughed, and you would have fallen if they hadn’t gripped your hands in time. The three princes had all touched their belts, and the colorful raid suits they were so famous for spread over them instantly, to roaring applause. You hadn’t had time to catch your breath before Ichiji lifted you into his arms.

“You’re our little princess now.”

Don’t scream. Don’t scream. Don’t scream.

“Don’t be scared, pretty,” he comforted, though his pleased voice didn’t stop the world from disappearing beneath you.

“Yeah, I’ll catch you if he drops you,” Yonji flew close to your cheek.

“I won’t drop her.”

How does their hair stay like that in the wind, you thought, giggling to yourself while you watched the trees beneath you.

“Can I touch the top of a tree?”

“You can touch anything you– ”

“Back off, Niji,” Ichiji growled at his blue haired brother that had flown too close this time before returning to that simpering voice. “Of course, princess. We can find every tree on the island, if you like.”

“Just one is lovely, thank you.”

Touching the top of a redwood tree had never crossed your mind, but the feel of it against your fingers gave you a moment of sweetness at the thought of telling your dad about it. He would be so excited, and he’d want to know every detail, until you both were scribbling on notepads to calculate how long it would take to touch every tree on the island.

It was stupid. How could you stay numb when you kept reminding yourself of pain, or of something far crueler than that?

Happiness and love would tear you apart.

~~~

If you weren’t out of breath, you might have giggled again at how well the scene fit with your last thought.

Another clearing on another stolen hill had come into view, during one of the brief glances you’d sent toward the ground. That ground was coming too close, too fast, but the scent hit you before your feet touched the ground.

Someone had planted a circular wall of roses that was taller than you’d thought possible for the flower. You had learned that the realm of possibility was vaster than you could imagine. What were some huge rose bushes compared to everything else in your world?

Ichiji set you down beside a gorgeous table of dark wood, with large, cushioned chairs in that matching rose-red.

He poured champagne, toasting to your beauty while you waited for him to sip first.

“Are you nervous,” the red head asked, the hint of laughter in his tone. “Don’t worry, princess, you can relax here. I made sure we’d have plenty of privacy.”

“Yeah,” Yonji called while he flew down into the tower of roses. “No one’s getting in here without catching some thorns.”

“We finished the rounds,” Niji reported. He stayed floating toward the top, lazily bouncing something in his hand. “This is the only snail left in a mile radius. Now you two can have some alone time.

“DON’T HURT IT! Please… don’t…”

Niji paused with his arm pulled back, stopping before throwing the transponder snail, cocking his head as he looked down at you.

“Don’t be so cruel, brother,” Ichiji purred beside you.

Breathe. Just breathe.

“Please, don’t hurt it,” you tried to keep your voice from shaking. It was already hoarse from that scream. “I… like snails.”

“So sweet,” Yonji swooned. He flew close, with Niji and the poor snail following behind him. “You should see our— “

“It’s my turn, brothers,” the eldest prince reminded them.

Yonji kissed your cheek before he flew away, but Niji grabbed your wrist. He placed the snail in the center of your palm before tracing his fingers down the side of your face.

“Such a pretty princess,” he hummed, “I’ll make sure this thing is safe for you. We can even let some watch our date if you— “

“This is my date, Niji.”

“Right. Have fun, you two.”

Thankfully, the blue-haired brother grabbed the snail before he flew away, but another set of eyes stayed glued to your skin.

“Sorry about that, beautiful. Let’s eat, I wanna know about all the other sweet things you like.”

Still cheesy. Still cocky.

Yet somehow his guiding hand on you lower back, and his hungry eyes reminded you of another sort of numb.

Nothing matters, so I might as well enjoy this.

~~~🌲🌲🌲~~~

~~~~~~

~~~🐊🐊🐊~~~

“Feel good, star,” Crocodile’s little clown mumbled in his sleep, the stench of liquor on Buggy’s breath rivaling his own.

“Hey,” he started, wanting to carry Buggy to bed instead of leaving him alone on that green couch. “Come on— “

“Just feel good, baby,” his clown whined softly, the sadness in his voice tearing at the scarred man even more tonight.

“Shh, Buggy. It’s gonna be okay.”

He hoped he wasn’t lying.

“I won’t tell, star. I know it was a— What the fuck?”

“It’s just me, little clown. Let’s go to bed,” he offered his hand. Buggy shook himself but followed him down the empty corridor to that empty bed. “Bad dreams again?”

“No— I mean, just the same bullshit,” Buggy coughed while his fingers tapped along his thigh. “Ha, I really thought the booze would help… What about you?”

Crocodile pulled the man close, and kissed that tangled, blue hair as he closed his eyes against this shitty world.

“We’re gonna get her back,” he vowed ignoring the scent of lies in the air. There had never been room for trust in this world, but Crocodile realized he didn’t care if his little lovers were lying to him. He just needed them back.

He needed to make a better world for them.

~~~🐊🐊🐊~~~

Likes, comments, and reblogs bring me much ✨dopamine�� thank you!!

Author's Note: "I've still been disappearing from the world," is how I started my last author's note from Chapter 34. So much has changed in my life.

Personal Vent below! Mostly vague, but trigger warning for toxic, demanding work environments, and their affect on physical and mental health. Mention of bipolar and adhd.

PLEASE DON'T READ THIS unless you really want to, and have the space for it! I would rather you scroll past than to take on any of my stress.

I am okay, and I want Numbers Game to be a place for us to rest and enjoy some fictional chaos instead. This will be the last time I'll discuss this on a Numbers Game post, but I felt I had to share how much I've wanted to be here with y'all. Any future updates will be posted separately on my lynna's health updates tag.

I am free from the situation that was wrecking my physical, mental, and financial health for the past five years. That chaos sent me into an episode that landed me on medical leave last year. But that fucked up time is when I started writing, and joined this wonderful community. I wouldn't have made it though the past year without y'all. I was in full on crisis mode, and it had all come to a head over these past few months. Then I got out. I was so fucking excited to tell y'all about the new changes in my life, but I was overwhelmed with everything that I had to do to get out and prepare. Plus, my fucking thumb stopped working because I was typing the first draft of this chapter on my phone since I had no time to sit down and write, and I had to rest it for the new job that seemed perfect for me. I hope that it'll get better soon, but I seem to have jumped out of the frying pan, and into the fire. I am okay. I am safe. I am just tired as fuck, and needing to set boundaries with a new company that is even more demanding than the last. At least they are actually paying me on time, and it's less physically demanding, (unless you count a lifelong insomniac adjusting to waking up at 6am and getting home at 6pm, five days a week 🥴). The main reason I was excited for this job, besides relieving the crisis shit I was going though, was that it would have a regular schedule; I'd be able to focus on what I really want to do. Sorry it took me so long to catch my breath, but I'm fucking back, y'all. I'm not letting another company drain my soul away. I'm not working off the clock any more.

I've got smut to write 🥰📝��

With so much love,

~ Lynna 💜✨

Part 36

Operation Olive Branch has compiled a working spreadsheet of ways to help families fleeing from the genocide in Palestine. If you enjoyed this fic, and are able, please click the link to find a list of GoFundMe's, as well as other ways to help.

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cheapshrimpysheep · 1 year ago

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Ghost Bride themed request: Instead of Idia being at risk of being whisked away to Unholy matrimony, it is instead the reader, A.KA the boys of your choices crush, being whisked away to a ghostly honeymoon. Would at least like to see Kalim for this but any boy that you think would mount a daring and romantic rescue. Please and thank you

COMMENTS: Well, I decided to write for 4 characters. One of them being Kalim. For the others I didn't want to choose one from the Overblot Boys because I'm thinking of doing a similar post with them in the future. And when I saw the list of students I thought that the most fun to write would be some of the most impulsive and those most likely to be unable/unwilling to lie. So I chose Deuce, Jack and Floyd.

I will admit it was fun to write. 🙂

I hope you all enjoy 💐

CHARACTERS: Deuce Spade; Jack Howl; Floyd Leech & Kalim Al-Asim

TAGS: Fluff; GN Reader; Love Confessions

WARNING: Spoilers from The Phantom Bride event

WORD COUNT: An average of 450 words per character.

CONTEXT: Someone was kidnapped to marry some ghost princess and might end up turning into a ghost too. And they just found out that someone was you.

A mix of panic and fury is what Deuce felt when he found out what had happened or could happen to you.

There was a Housewardens meeting about what happened, so Deuce wasn't present. And so he went to his Housewarden to ask Riddle that whatever the plan was, please get him involved.

They end up forming a small group to rescue you. Deuce being part of it. On the way to you the others end up staying behind to stop the ghost guards from getting in the way of Deuce. And he ends up being the only one to appear in the ceremony room.

Deuce screams at everyone to stop the wedding. But with his feelings on the surface, instead of trying to reason and persuade the ghosts, he threatens them. It was as if he was willing to fight the world and beyond for you.

Unfortunately, the guards are in the majority and manage to trap him and cause him to drop his magic pen.

He's furious, but he can't break free. The wedding goes on and the only thing that occurs to him, in the midst of despair, is to tell the truth.

“(Y/N)! You don't want to marry her do you?” You answer him that of course not, but the princess says anything about you don't know what you're saying. “You're the one who doesn't know what you're saying! What if they already love someone else? What if someone else already loves them?” The princess asks what he's talking about and his answer is for you and not for the princess. “I LOVE YOU, (Y/N)!” and then he talks to the princess again, with tears in his eyes “Please, don't take them away...”

The princess petrifies. She might be delusional, but even she can't ignore a declaration like that. She even mentions that she feels a little jealous of you. That one of the things she dreams about the most is that someone loves her so much that they make a declaration like that to her too.

And that's what drives the ghost guard who loves her to declare himself to her. And all that ending with her finding out she loved him happens.

After everything and they freed you, Deuce couldn't care less about the princess and the ghosts. He hugs you desperately, as if he's afraid they'll take you again.

He is embarrassed by the loving declaration he made to you. But he can't go back now.

Jack is more worried and scared than angry. He's more concerned with you being hurt and your well-being than with getting revenge on the ghosts. But he won't back down from a fight.

There was a Housewardens meeting about what happened, so Jack wasn't present. And so he went to his Housewarden to ask Leona that whatever the plan was, please get him involved.

Leona'd probably tell Jack that he could even do all the work if he wanted to. And he decides to do just that. He is a man... young man of action.

He will turn into a wolf and burst into the building. He won't stop until he gets to you and he'll get rid of anyone who gets in his way. And he will break down the doors still in his wolf form.

Everyone's like "A WOLF?!" And you're like "Jack?"

In his wolf form and with magic he can defeat any ghost that tries to stop him. And that's why that ghost guard turns into a giant to finally stop Jack.

Without being able to move anymore, the only thing left for him to do is try to talk to the princess and the guards. And for that he transforms himself back into a beastman. Surprising all ghosts. And piquing the curiosity of Princess Eliza. She asks him why he was there.

“To stop this wedding!” She asks, overjoyed and flattered if he's there for her. But he can't take that opportunity to lie, because he doesn't like to lie. “No! It's not for you that I'm here. It's for the person you kidnapped.” she starts to say that she didn't kidnap anyone. “Of course you did! Do you think (Y/N) wants to be here?!” An argument between the two of you and the ghosts starts, but that doesn't matter at the end. “JUST LET THEM GO!” he barks completely out of patience “They deserve better than you!” Everybody gasps at his boldness.

The ghost that held him starts defending the princess. Ending up revealing his feelings for her. And all that ending with her finding out she loved him happens.

The ghosts set you and Jack free. He runs to you to hug you, relieved that you're okay and that it's all over. You ask him about what he said. About you deserving better. And he decides to just tell you the truth.

He reveals that the whole thing about stopping the marriage was because he liked you. That a person like you deserves the best that anyone can offer. And he promises you that he will do his best to be the person you deserve.

Floyd hears that someone was kidnapped by that princess to marry her and such, but he couldn't care less. At least not until he hears your name.

At that moment he stops. Approach the students who were talking about that and ask what you have to do with that story.

The students, frightened, tell him what happened. But they quickly regret being the bearers of bad news because Floyd's expression quickly goes from just a curious face to that serious and terrifying expression of his. And he ends the conversation by calmly asking where you were.

And the ghosts worst nightmare enters the building. He was just annoyed at first that you'd been kidnapped. But then he starts having fun fighting the ghosts. To the point of becoming practically sadistic. Which terrified the ghosts even more.

The last time Princess Elisa was in such danger was when she was killed. So all the ghosts prepare in the ceremonial hall to protect her. You see them all panicking without knowing why. Not even the princess knows why.

He enters the room breaking down the door with a kick and a creepy smile on his face. “Peekaboo~” And the guards attack him. Now you see why they were so scared. Floyd was having fun at first, but then complained that facing the same kind of ghost was getting boring.

Then one of the ghost guards became a giant to face him. And Floyd smiled again. Unfortunately for him, the ghost managed to get him to drop the magic pen and trap him. The Princess asks what a monster like him was doing there.

“I study here, smartass.” everyone gasped offended. She says he can go back to study there after the wedding. “Yeah, but nah. That won't do.” she asks why not “Because I won't let you marry my Koebi-chan.” She gets confused by that nickname, but when she realizes he was talking about you, she starts defending herself. “Whatevs. HEY KOEBI-CHAN! Do you want to marry this spoiled brat?” You try to contain your laughter and answer no. “See? Now stop this crap before my patience runs out for good.” The giant ghost who is grabbing him orders him to stop talking to the princess like that. “Why? She's gettin' on my nerves. Don't tell me you have a crush on her, HA HA HA”

The ghost starts by trying to deny it, until he finally decides to confess to her once and for all. And all that ending with her finding out she loved him happens.

After the ghosts free the two of you, they beg you to take Floyd with you. You ask him why he did that. “You didn't hear me? I said I wasn't going to let her marry you.” you ask him why “Because I don't want you to marry someone you don't want to. Well, the truth is, I don't want you to marry anyone but me, but I let you choose.”

PANIC!!! OH GREAT SEVEN WHAT DOES HE DO?!

If Jamil is in the room, he himself is trying not to panic while trying to calm Kalim's panic. If only the Housewardens were in the room, one of the others will have to calm him down.

Kalim will do anything to save you, pay whatever it takes! Just someone tell him what to do.

Unfortunately, without an answer on what to do, he returns to Scarabia in a very worried state. Unknown to Jamil, Kalim has gone to the treasure room to be alone. But carpet went to keep him company.

He begins by thanking carpet for the company, while it tries to tell him that it can help save you. But as slow as Kalim can be, he only realizes later and even thinks the idea was his own.

He dashes out of Scarabia with carpet towards the hall where the wedding is taking place. And to get there, he ends up breaking a window since it's faster than going through the door.

He grabs you still on top of the flying carpet, to try to simply get you out of there, but the ghost guards manage to hit the carpet and make you fall. You fell with Kalim embracing you so you wouldn't be hurt.

And it's when the guards force the two of you apart that he starts to speak. He screams at them to stop the marriage because it's wrong. That one person cannot be forced to marry another.

But Princess Eliza says she needs to marry someone “princely”. Somehow, for some reason, she seas that in you.

“But why? Is that a rule? Because it shouldn't be! You should marry the one you love and not someone others think you should marry. Whether that person is a princess or a thief. Be someone you've known for years...” he points to the ghost guards “...or...” he looks at you “someone who just showed up in your life out of the blue and without warning. And who in just a few weeks became the most important person in your life.” he smiles at you, as if he forgets everything else around.

Princess Eliza stopped listening after that about the guards. And all that ending with her finding out she loved one of her guards happens.

In the end, Kalim gets emotional with the princess's marriage to the guard. Forgiving and forgetting the whole thing about your kidnapping. Chances are he's the type of person to cry at a wedding.

And he takes that opportunity to declare himself to you. Because that opened his eyes and he can't keep hiding his feelings anymore.

He couldn't stand the idea of you marrying someone else, because he started dreaming of marrying you.

If you dropped in here out of the blue and want to read more from me, you can find it in my pinned post: INDEX

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yayakoishii · 6 months ago

Note

Please please please!! Sanji x reader request during whole cake island where sanji and reader were already a thing prior to the event and how torn up sanji is over it. Especially if they still hadn't said I love you yet and sanji is realizing that yes he loves reader and wants to marry them but he can't cause he wants to protect them and everyone. Reader having a similar realization/crying to the crew about it and Luffy going, nope this is happening I'm a captain and I'm marrying you two (let's pretend he learned captains can marry people from shanks but he still doesn't know what marriage is just that he can do this so he wants to do it)

Yours To Love | Sanji x Reader

Fandom: One Piece

Pairing: Vinsmoke Sanji x GN! Reader

Word Count: 2.9k

Genre/Tags: Angst, Fluff, Happy Ending, Love Confession, Spoilers for Wholecake Island arc

A/n: I hope I'm not too late anon!! I think it's been a week or so since you sent this, so I hope you get to see this <3 I really sat down and wrote this in one sitting like a possessed person hahahah~ Thank you for the request and I hope this is to your liking (⁠*⁠´⁠ω⁠｀⁠*⁠) I tweaked your request very very minorly but I enjoyed writing it a lot!

Also available on ao3!

Seeing Sanji again was like seeing the sun after weeks and weeks of never-ending rain.

It hadn't been more than a week or two since you had separated in Dressrosa but being a part of the strawhat crew meant you could never catch a break for too long. When you heard what Sanji had done from Nami and the others, a small part of you hurt that maybe, just maybe, you weren't enough for Sanji.

The next moment you had discarded the thought completely and felt horrible for even thinking that way about Sanji. You knew he would never lie to you. You knew, more than anyone on the crew, just how much he truly enjoyed being a part of the crew. Your insecurity over how Sanji and you hadn't yet spoken of love made no difference to the fact that Sanji would never choose to leave the crew.

Maybe he didn't love you back but he loved the crew. So him choosing to go to the tea party where he would be married off was a sign that he must believe either that he can: (a) handle it by himself and make it back no problem, or (b) the situation was dangerous and he wanted to take care of it himself in a way that wouldn't harm the crew. You were more inclined towards b, considering this was Big Mom and Germa 66 that were being talked about.

You wanted to go get Sanji back too but the rest of the crew who had fought in Dressrosa was going to Wano and you were probably expected to do the same. But Sanji was still your boyfriend. He was yours, and he was going to get married off to some girl you had never heard of before today, and your heart refused to accept it. You refused to let him go. He was yours to hold, yours to keep and yours to love. You would get him back even if you had to fight Luffy to join them.

Thankfully, you didn't have to fight him at all. When you meekly suggested joining them, your captain had just tilted his head in confusion and said, "Huh? What do you mean? Of course you're coming. I was going to take you along the whole time."

And now half of the crew was here in Totto land, and Luffy had just defeated Cracker and Kingbaum was taking you three to the castle where Sanji was supposed to be. Instead, you had stumbled across Germa 66 midway and after days, you were finally seeing the face of the man you loved so deeply that it hurt.

"We've come to take you back!" Luffy was hanging onto the coach while you and Nami were still on the running Kingbaum and you could make out Sanji's face from a distance. You were smiling so hard upon seeing him look okay. He wasn't hurt. Good. Suddenly, he turned and kicked Luffy off the coach and you gasped.

"Hey!" Nami was equally shocked. "What was that for, Sanji?!"

"Get lost," Sanji said, his face unlike any he had ever shown the crew, "you miserable inferior pirates."

You considered the possibility that it could be a Germa clone. But there was no way they would take a close to the tea party when they already had done the effort of getting the real deal to come there.

"My name is Vinsmoke Sanji and I am a prince of Germa kingdom!"

He had never told you that in the few months of your relationship. You knew there was something he wasn't telling you but you had never pried because you knew that the reason Sanji wasn't mentioning it was probably because it was something that didn't matter. Germa was supposed to be a thing of his past– and it was supposed to stay there for the rest of his life. Except it had come back, like cockroaches are apt to do, and brought a storm into your lives.

You just stood there, listening to Sanji make claims that were like stabs to your heart continuously. For your situation, your mind felt thunderously calm. You were noting the laughter of his ‘brothers’ in the back, the way Sanji was staring with steely eyes at Luffy and hadn't met your eyes even once, the rigid muscles of his face as he spoke about how he would be getting married to Big Mom's beautiful daughter.

Maybe someone would say you are in denial, but you refused to believe it. Sanji was spouting a load of bullshit and it was making laughter bubble up in your throat. You only kept it down because this wasn't the time or place for it. The Sanji you knew would never say these words, unless he believed it was the only way he could keep you all safe.

"Don't get involved! I'll drive him off."

You couldn't say a word as you watched Sanji and Luffy start fighting. You had never thought you would see this one day. Your heart was hurting and your mind was a huge mess of thoughts but all you could focus on was how much Sanji must be hurting.

He must be wanting to come back home to the Sunny with you. He had told you in the dark covers of night when you two had made love, that there was no place more appropriate than with the crew that he thought of when he thought of the word ‘home’. The boy who had said that to you could never say these words and mean them. He would only say it if it meant protecting his home and his crew.

You watched as Luffy didn't hit back even once and kept taking hit after hit. Silent tears were already streaming down your face from watching Sanji's emotional hurt and Luffy's physical one. You wished this was a nightmare.

When Sanji knocked out Luffy, you finally exhaled and slowly walked over to him. Nami had already gotten past you and slapped him in the face, saying goodbye to him. You stared at Sanji when you were close enough. His head that had turned from the impact of Nami's slap didn't turn to look at yours, as if you were invisible. You let out a shaky exhale and smiled weakly at him.

"I guess," you swallowed as you placed a gentle hand on the cheek Nami was slapped and watched him flinch just slightly under your touch, "even if I said ‘Come back home with me, Sanji’, you wouldn't change your mind, huh?"

He still wouldn't look at you and he didn't respond, but his hand came up to rest over yours. He gave it a gentle squeeze, the way he always did when he would apologise to you for anything. You told your aching heart that it was fine. This wouldn't be the last time you see Sanji.

"This is farewell then," you said quietly, just low enough for only him to hear as your hand slipped away. "I hope you are happy wherever you are. Because if you were doing this for us, then you should know that we'll never be complete without you. And, foolish as I am, I won't be happy without you."

You turned away without looking at him and instead walked back to Luffy and Nami, your eyes threatening to spill tears you did not wish him to see. If this was truly the last time you would see Sanji, you wanted his last memory of you to be of you smiling at him.

You heard Sanji get back up and the carriage drawing away. Luffy got up and started shouting again. Your lips quivered, your back to the road as you looked at your captain. "You can kick me all you want, but you're the one feeling the pain!"

For all his idiocy and no brain cell moments, you knew how well Luffy knew all his crewmates. He may not show it most days, but he understood you all the best. You watched him scream some more, crying harder and harder until he ended with, "Without you, I can't become the pirate king!!"

They were gone after that and in the silence, you could finally feel the flood of thoughts wash over you once again, one thought the most prominent of all. You truly loved Sanji. You had never told him but you loved every inch of him, more than you had ever realised until this moment, when your heart was afraid that it would never be able to tell Sanji this.

"I don't know what I should do," you mumbled, covering your face in your hands. You could feel Nami's comforting arms around your shoulders. "I love him. I love that idiot. Who cares if he's a prince, a beggar or even a Marine?! No matter what he is, in every universe, I would still fall in love with him. I love him so much and I have to stand and watch him marry someone else, all while I keep thinking that it should be me. I want to be the one next to him on the altar and I've, I've lost my chance to tell him."

"No, you haven't," Luffy said firmly from where he was lying. Your tears were starting to dry up and you turned to look at your captain. His face was determined. "Sanji will come. And you will marry him."

"How are we gonna do that, huh?" You chuckled wetly as you settled down next to Luffy.

"We'll get him back and you'll ask him to marry you," Luffy said simply, "and then he will say yes and then, I will marry you two off."

"You'll be our officiant, Luffy?" You giggled. You didn't know what it was about him, but Luffy could make you believe in the most impossible of things. There was already a big part of you that felt at peace from his words. It would work out somehow. If it's Luffy, then anything is possible.

"I heard of it from two of Shanks' crewmates as a kid," he said, giving you a wide grin. "I didn't think I'd ever need to do it but I've looked into it ever since you two started dating. It was getting a little boring waiting for you two though. I was going to ask you two to marry if you took any longer."

"Oh god," you wheezed, feeling insane for laughing at this moment. "That would have been hilarious. A crazy story to tell if someone asked us ‘who proposed’ and we would have to answer ‘Luffy’!"

Your words were cut off by the arrival of clouds from Big Mom's rage. It was time for you to get Sanji back.

•

Pudding's words should hurt somewhere, Sanji thought to himself absent-mindedly from where he was hiding. He had brought the flowers and he had tried to convince himself that his marriage with Pudding could make him happy and it would keep the crew safe. But, she didn't love him the way you did. She could be the kindest, nicest person in the whole world, but she wasn't you.

You, who had seen him through his worst, who had personally tended to his wounds both physical and emotional, who had looked like a heavenly being under him, who had smiled at him despite his secrets, who understood him on such a fundamental level– you were the apple of his eye, the love of his life.

Pudding's words should have hurt but they didn't because he knew that her opinion of him had no impact on your opinion of him. And even if the whole world hated him, you never would. Sanji had thought that this would be where you draw the line. That you would finally get fed up with him and leave. No one even stayed with him in the first place and you had done it for so long that he was afraid you would leave. What he had done at this point would have been enough for anyone else to get angry and slap him.

And yet, when he had seen you there, he knew he couldn't look into your eyes. One look and his resolve would crumble. Because there was no mistaking what he felt towards you whenever he looked into your eyes that seemed to hold the whole world. He truly loved you from the bottom of his heart. There was no one else in this world who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

It had to be you. It could only be you.

And yet, he didn't have much of a choice in this whole matter, did he? Sanji just walked away, thinking and thinking about what he should do.

About how he could get back home to you.

•

When all was said and done and all of you were back on the Sunny, making your way to Wano, Luffy just placed a hand on your shoulder and said with his most serious face, "You better do it fast or I will do it on your behalf."

"Shut up," you weakly punched him in the shoulder and rolled your eyes– but your heart was happy. Neither you nor Sanji had talked about anything the whole time you were escaping. You had just hugged him silently and he had done the same; you knew there would be time to talk later. And that time was now. "Sanji?"

"Hm?" Sanji looked up from where he was cooking in the kitchen. After hearing the mess the crew had made with cooking, he had slipped back into his role as always. The sight of him chopping vegetables on the kitchen counter of the Thousand Sunny made your heart warm up. "Sweethea–(y/n)."

He switched from the endearing term to your name, looking nervous. He was probably thinking about how he didn't deserve to call you that anymore, huh?

"Am I no longer your sweetheart?" You asked teasingly as you crossed over to stand across the counter from him. He looked at you, scared yet hopeful. "Did you change your mind about me after seeing, ah, Pudding, wasn't it?"

"No, my love!" He cried out, hands shooting upwards to take you into his arms but he stopped just in time. He didn't know if you still wanted him to touch you. Somehow, it felt like the two of you from all those months back, when you hadn't yet started dating. "This whole time… I couldn't think of anything but how I have wronged you the most out of everyone. I do not feel worthy to be on the receiving end of your love."

"Shouldn't I get to decide that?" You retorted, leaning over the counter. You grabbed him by the collar and pulled him close. It had been too long since you had kissed your golden boy. "If you're the one I love and if you're the one my heart has decided it wants to marry, then you're already worthy, silly boy. You aren't a man until you realise that you're worthy of all the love in this world."

You ended up saying it all in a teasing manner but you could see the shock in his eyes at your words. The silence stretched over the kitchen awkwardly and your smile wavered for a second.

"You better say yes," you huffed to yourself, "because I don't think Luffy made a plan for you refusing my proposal."

Sanji was confused for all of one second before he was nodding, gently pushing aside the vegetables he was cutting so he could slide over the top of the counter to you. He cradled your face in his hands, holding you reverently as he placed kisses all over your face. You flushed under the attention, feeling home at last.

"This feels too much like a dream," he admitted, knocking his forehead on yours. "That you would still want me, that you would still love me… Despite all my mistakes, in spite of how I've wronged you, you're still here."

"I love you with all my heart," you admitted to him. "I love you for who you are Sanji, flaws and all. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. If, if you happen to feel the same…"

"Don't be silly," he interrupted you, so unlike himself. "If I shouldn't doubt my worth, you shouldn't doubt my love either. I may not have ever said it before this, but I truly do love you so much."

Sanji pulled you into a kiss and you let him, your arms tightening around his waist. You had been so wrong back then. You had been scared that that would be the last time you're seeing him but right now, you knew that this was the start of seeing Sanji every day for the rest of your lives.

"C'mon then," you giggled after the two of you had made out for a while. "Gotta tell Luffy."

"Why?" Sanji was baffled. "What's Luffy got to do with any of this?"

"Hey now, our captain kindly offered to marry the two of us off, you know."

"He what?!"

"He was also ready to propose on my behalf. You better be happy I beat him to it."

"I don't even know what to say."

"Just let me do the talking, how about that?"

"But of course, sweetheart! ♡"

°•❀•°

All likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated! ♡

★ Taglist:

if anyone wants to be added or removed, lmk!

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tequila-solar-storm · 2 months ago

Note

NS/FW

CW mpreg, eggpreg

I'm glad to know I wasn't the only one who went A J A W E G G S after that line hahah

Thank you for painting such a delicious picture. I see your vision, I absolutely can't blame Kinich for not wanting to deal with a second Ajaw but what if they turn out to be a second Kinich and tag team against Ajaw lol that'll be somewhat cute haha.

Kinich developing a breeding kink because of ajaw will be hilarious. The saurian relic opened a new horizon for him and now he'll want even more from his partners. Dragonlord be damned!

I'm eating up the hc about his complicated relationship with the tribes cause you're SO right. And ngl I do wanna see what camp two is capable of! lol Trinidad is for sure one of the leading figures in there, he's such a hater HAHAH

Thanks for answering!! Very pleased to have found a space where I can feed my kinich brainrot xD take care author!

—🌻

Previous Post (Eggs)

Previous Post (Relationship with tribe)

Feel free to keep sending your brainrot my way! I love it!! You take care too, anon!! ❤️❤️❤️

Response under the cut! Spoilers for Kinich’s character stories and the Yupanqui's Turnfire Tribal Chronicles!

I wonder how Ajaw’s baby would look like 🤔 A direct copy of Ajaw? Pixel? Dragon? A mix of all three? Ajaw’s technically a projection now, which makes me doubt his real form is pixelated, so probably not pixels?

If Kinich somehow had a guarantee that the kid would turn out more like him than Ajaw, he’ll be jumping on that dragon dick without hesitation!

Imagine after a nice long fuck, his partner of the day casually asks him when did he develop his breeding kink? Kinich, being the blunt fucker he is, just goes ‘Ajaw’ and proceeds to give his partner a whiplash because whAT DO YOU MEAN YOU GOT IMPREGNATED BEFORE BY THE??? TINY PIXEL LIZARD?? HOW?? 🤣

Camp Two wanna fuck him so bad they look stupid!! They’re capable of SO many things, but unfortunately defeating Kinich isn’t one of them. His stamina is simply too good + he’s a raging masochist. So no amount of bullying can break his spirit! He thrives on it instead! Maybe that’s why he could get along (Somewhat) with Enjou/Sanka so well. It’s masochist on masochist communication HAHAHA

And of course, we can’t forget Trinidad! As much of a hater as he is, I don’t think he’ll actually do half of the terrible things Camp Two would. He’s still an elder of the tribe and a generally decent guy (I don’t like him denying Huni her dinner when he scolded her for lying/recklessness, but it’s pretty obvious he was struggling a LOT with grief during that time). Not only does he prioritise the tribe’s safety over tradition (I wanted to watch him argue more with Wayna 😩), Kinich himself says the tribe needs people like Trinidad, which emphasises that he’s an okay person!

If anything, he’ll denounce the other members of Camp Two, being like ‘don’t be disrespectful even if you don’t like him! Be the better person!’ and then turn around and guiltily wank to humiliating Kinich 😳 We also don’t know if he has a living spouse, but if he does, I’d love to imagine his partner being supportive in his desire to wreck Kinich. They’re usually monogamous but because Kinich is THAT annoying they decided to make an exception for him HAHAHAHAHA

If they’re going to do it, Kinich’s going to have to be the one initiating. Once he’s serving himself up on a silver platter, though, there’s no way in hell Trinidad will be able to resist. That’s when all the nasty stuff will come out!! The most tame it’ll be is Trinidad aggressively fucking his mouth so he can’t talk back, scolding him with stuff like ‘Not only are you some Mora-obsessed degenerate, you’re also a loose slut! You can’t be further from a hero!’ While Kinich’s just. Super turned on plus super amused at how mad Trinidad is! The more aggressive end of their sessions can get highly physical, with scratching, biting, slapping etc.

Now I can’t get the mental image out of my head: Trinidad sitting on the edge of a bed, face in his hands, dying of guilt/horror/denial/shock at just having the most mindblowing sex with someone he hates. Post nut clarity in its finest. Meanwhile, Kinich’s staring impassively at Trinidad’s naked, scratched-up back planning to goad the elder into fucking him again 🤣

What would their ship name be actually. Trinich? Trikinich??

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bloopitynoot · 2 months ago

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Reading SVSSS: Chapter 10

For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.

I am so stoked for this chapter! I've been really getting into the story to the point that I want to read multiple chapters per day (I COULD but I also want to be able to take notes- so I cannot realistically with the amount of hours in a day I have) BUT I will continue with one a day.

Normally I have hot drinks while reading, but I am dehydrated as fuck, so take this as your (mostly mine, but also your) reminder to drink some water.

Let's get into it!

Wait! Like three seconds in and we are starting off strong! How can Sha Hualing control Shen Qingqiu??? p213

Holy shit, even in his new body he's being poisoned. I suppose, theoretically, if there is a person who never gets poisoned, there must be a person, statistically, who always get's poisoned. p214

Shen Qingqiu (probably): if I had a dime for every time I had demonic blood poisoning me I would have two, and that's not a lot, but fucked up it happened twice. LOL

also Shen Qingqiu (probably at this point): "and this is how I was abducted and then became a qi sex slave for a half demon cultivator" p214

Omg also, the fact that Sha Hualing tried to plant a fake SQQ to try and appease Luo Binghe. RIP to her this time for almost (accidentally) doing it again. no wonder Luo Binghe is so pissed! pp216-217

Oh god. SQQ probably doesn't die here but it would be equally terrible and funny if after all of this, second body and all, like less than 2 days in, Luo Binghe just accidentally destroys SQQ. immediate end of story p217

Well- the system is now fixed! p220

and now shen qingqiu is wearing basically a veil, oh my. p222

(Okay unrelated but related to the veil, I desperately need some arranged marriage au's. I am so ready to read the heck out of this pairing when I'm done the books).

I have a sneaking suspicion that this man (SQQ) does a terrible job of hiding his identity. "he just had to be especially careful so Luo Binghe didn't discover that he'd pull off a great escape using the Son-Moon Dew Mushrooms". p222

He really needs a better name than peerless cucumber. LOL I can't every time he introduces himself. p223

oh no, baby Luo Binghe has been mourning this entire time. p224

You know what, I'm not even mad that Little Palace Mistress is in this awful state, she is a vile character that has not grown on me at all. p226

Yeah Shen Qingqiu he definitely did not end up with any of the women because he has been super mourning for you my guy. (not that he knows this because he is oblivious af) pp228-229

Oh. My. God. This man really thinks that Luo BInghe is asexual. I can't wait till he finds out. LOL p230

Oooo! Another dream realm sequence p231

oh and we have two SQQ's (again I need this fanfiction)

aaaaaah luo binghe has clocked the real SQQ p236

Okay okay, he thinks this SQQ is part of the dream and does not know he is indeed the real deal. thank fuck for SQQ's sake I guess p236-237

Oop. now this guys is "yes and"ing Luo Binghe in the dream. Oh gosh I hope this ends alright. p237

The head pats! p238

OH MY GOD p239

DREAM REALM KISS??????!!!!!!!!!!!!! p239

(AHAHAAA his face in the art tho)

LOL the system p239

Bro just found out why Luo Binghe had no wives and is GOOPED. He really found out in the worst of ways for him ahahahahahahahah I am CACKLING p241

I truly don't know how these two end up together with SQQ not vibing at all. is it Stockholm syndrome? like I genuinely do not know how SQQ ends up realizing his emotions for this man.

SQQ is literally saved by the bell in this one. p242

Liu Qingge is here?!?!? has he been trying to avenge SQQ this entire time? p243

Ah, Fuck!

SO MANY THINGS HAPPENED.

We have a kiss, we have a SQQ now trying to be sneaky, I honestly don't know how this man is going to stay hidden- if at all.

And next chapter we have a showdown ?!?!?!?

#bloopitynoot reads svsss #svsss spoilers #mxtx svsss #svsss #YALL #I am still reeling over that dream kiss #SQQ is going to need to figure out his shit and fast #scum villain #scum villian self saving system

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dharmafox · 3 months ago

Text

Just had a Karakasa thought that made my hair stand on end irl. It could turn out to be hella spoilery, and it involves spoilers from the manga and from a Nakamura interview that was only released to backers, so I'm going to spoiler tag it and put it under a cut.

So we've been talking about Kitagawa being a ghost and about her being connected to the Karakasa's origins. Up to now I've been assuming that the Karakasa is an amalgamation of everyone and everything that's ended up at the bottom of the well, but maybe that's not strictly true. I don't doubt those things are involved in its creation, but the Karakasa itself could be just one thing, and/or one person: Kitagawa.

There's a definite precedent in the series for a single person or even thing to be the mononoke, and in fact that's usually the case. They're also usually dead: Tamaki, the Zashiki Warashi, Ochou (probably), the dead wood in "Nue," Setsuko. In fact, Genkei in "Umi Bozu" is the only (apparent) exception.

The facts as we know them so far are these:

(1) There's a high probability that Kitagawa is a ghost. Here's @purplealmonds's post going over a ton of clues that this is the case.

(2) Kitagawa is connected to the creepy doll. Based on:

a. The fact that she gets swapped out with the doll in the scene @purplealmonds pointed out:

b. The fact that she pops up pretty much instantly in the manga when Asa discovers the doll in a cupboard. She might even say here that the doll belongs to her, but I can't read Japanese, so... (This is actually the first thing that made me think she's a ghost—there's just something very ghostly about the way she pops up on cue like that and about her whole vibe in that scene. Unfortunately I can't find the relevant pages anymore—I think the chapter must be behind a paywall again.)

(3) The doll is connected very closely to the Karakasa. In fact, the umbrella that's almost certainly at the root of the Karakasa belongs to the doll. Nakamura revealed this in the backers-only interview and all but explicitly stated that the umbrella is behind the Karakasa (I mean, of course it is—it's a spooky umbrella).

(4) Kitagawa is especially closely linked with umbrellas. She appears with one in this scene that echoes the beginning of "Zashiki Warashi" and she appears ominously indoors with one (again, as @purplealmonds noted):

Without knowing more, I can only speculate about the exact connections among Kitagawa, the doll, and the umbrella, but they're clearly all intertwined. Objects as manifestations of people's souls seems to be a big theme in this story, so the doll could be a manifestation of Kitagawa's soul, or the umbrella could be, or both. Perhaps they were all separated by the Ooku and have been clinging onto the physical world trying to reconnect—with their grudges being fed by the additional objects and souls being discarded into the well.

At the very least, Kitagawa's doll's umbrella must be the origin of the Karakasa. But the real mononoke may not be the possessed umbrella. In "Umi Bozu," the real mononoke is Genkei. In "Nopperabou," it's Ochou. In the end, the real mononoke isn't a youkai or monster—it's the human who's been in plain sight the whole time.

#mononoke #karakasa #karakasa spoilers #mononoke spoilers #mononoke karakasa spoilers #mononoke theory

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lucky-clover-gazette · 5 months ago

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prince's gambit highlights & annotations

chapter 19 and a half

(quoted BY HAND from the PAPER BOOK)

indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!

also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!

i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.

this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.

Damen was happy.

i love that it starts like this. for the first time in the entire series, it really is that simple

He felt the warm, wonderful, impossible fact of the situation. Bed slave.

interesting subversion here. i love how it hovers over discomfort for the reader, like we get why damen is pleased by this, but we can't 100% be on board with the sentiment. demonstrates damen's tendency to look away from the unpleasant in favor of the pleasant, even when those things overlap

'Come back to bed,' said Damen. 'I, said Laurent, and stopped.

ooooh he got the laurent speechless "i" with that one. laurent's probably feeling some shame and disbelief and maybe some dissociation? which makes the fact that damen takes his hand after this even better. it helps to ground him

'I—thought to towel you down.' The sweetness of it was startling. He realised with a little pulse of his heart that Laurent meant it. He was used to the ministrations of slaves, but it was an indulgence beyond any dream of decadence to have Laurent do this.

i think laurent's need to be clean after sex is a trauma/shame thing, so him offering the same to damen is almost a weird kind of protectiveness? like "it makes me feel better and safe after this overwhelming thing, and i want you to feel that way too." it's sweet in a different way from damen's understanding, or i guess just a deeper one.

Laurent had indeed taken care of matters, and had removed any evidence of their activities from his appearance. He did not look like someone who had just been fucked. Laurent's post-coital instincts were remarkably self-denying.

see comment above

'I lack," said Laurent, "the easy mannerisms that are usually shared with,' you could see him pushing the words out, 'a lover.' 'You lack the easy mannerisms that are usually shared with anyone,' said Damen.

i am so sad that this exchange isn't in the original book, because it's one of my favorites in the entire series. it pulls together so many thematic and character beats at one, with the book's consistent poignancy and humor. it's a great example of pacat's subtle dramatic irony and damen's corresponding lovestruck distraction from the truth. damen isn't being neglectful by misunderstanding laurent, he's accidentally manifesting a safe place for them both to be silly and strange and loving despite all the things he doesn't understand. which is what laurent really needs, to see that he can be loved and trusted, even if he's realizing this while actively caught up in his own lie.

also i'm a sucker for affectionate teasing.

'You thought of it?' 'You kissed me,' said Laurent. 'On the battlements. I thought of it.'

the contrast of damen looking at laurent in book 1 chapter 1 and thinking immediately "he'd be a very expensive sex slave" and laurent only starting to consciously think about damen in a sexual way after they kissed in the end of book 2...

Laurent was silent, as he fought an internal battle. Damen felt the quality of his stillness, the moment when he pushed himself to speak. 'You were different,' said Laurent. It was all he said. The words seemed to come from a deep place in Laurent, eked out from some core of truthfulness.

different from [redacted?] i sure hope so

'You can call me by my given name,' said Laurent. 'If you like.' 'Laurent,' he said.

LET'S GOOOOOO

gonna be a while until we get a 'damen' from laurent, but that's okay, i like the fact that i thiiiiink it comes after the reveal? and kind of a synthesis of the disconnected damen and damianos currently in laurent's head

'I'm not afraid of sex,' said Laurent. 'Then you can do as you like.' And that was the crux of the matter, it was suddenly clear from the look in Laurent's eyes. It was Damen's turn to hold himself still. Laurent was looking at him as he had since he had returned to the bed, dark-eyed and on the cusp. Laurent said, 'Don't touch me.' He was expecting... he wasn't sure what he was expecting. The first hesitant brush of Laurent's fingers against his skin was a shock. There was an odd sense of inexperience in Laurent, as though the role was as new to him as it was to Damen. As though all of this was new to him, which made no sense. The touch on his biceps was tentative, exploratory, as though it was something new to be marked out, the span of it, the shape of the curved muscle. Laurent's gaze was traveling over his body, and he was looked in the same way that he touched, as if Damen was new territory, unexplored, that he couldn't quite believe was under his command.

at the risk of exposing too much about myself, i will just say... real. and to see an approach like this depicted as endearing rather than unattractively strange is nice. some of this analysis gets a little too close to personal stuff that i'm not going to share, but i know why a lot of it hits and why it's helpful to me as a writer and a person to analyze.

also, just beautiful writing here. so little dialogue says so much, and the stream-of-consciousnesses from damen is perfect.

'He hadn't given himself over to sensation, he'd caught it up in an internal struggle.'

yeah.

Dark-eyed, as though touch was to him an extreme act.

from damen's perspective, it simply isn't. but to laurent, and a reader like me... man.

Laurent said, 'I didn't think anyone was good enough to get past your guard.' 'One person,' said Damen.

okay i get that damen was aiming for a double meaning here about laurent, but i do also want to make an almost certainly incomplete list of people who we know, at some point in this series, have gotten past damen's emotional and/or physical guard (whether to hurt him, seduce him, connect emotionally with him, or all of the above):

kastor

jokaste

the regent

laurent

nicaise

ancel

aimeric

kashel

erasmus

Then Laurent's gaze lifted—not to his own, but to the collar. His fingers lifted to touch the yellow metal, his thumb pressing into the nick. 'I haven't forgotten my promise. That I'd take off the collar.'

i think this is the exact moment where laurent's cognitive dissonance starts to irreversibly crumble. irreversibly, because he can't bring himself to keep reinforcing it. he knows who damen is, and what he did, and he still wishes to show him honor. i think he wishes for a lot more than that, but doesn't believe it's something he deserves. he still doesn't plan to tell the truth, probably for damen's sake more than his own, which is a kindness within itself. but i think laurent is accepting that damianos is damen, and in this moment at least, he feels at peace about it.

of course then nicaise happens and damen sticks around and laurent gets tortured and then they have to co-parent an army and shit just gets REALLY complicated in general, and then laurent does not feel peaceful about it at all. but right now, in the simplicity of damen's inevitable departure, i do think laurent feels a saddened kind of peace and acceptance of who damen really is: damianos the prince-killer, and damen, his lover. who he will love in return by setting him free.

'In the morning, you said.' 'In the morning. You can think of it as baring your neck to the knife.' Their eyes met. Damen's heartbeats were behaving oddly. 'I'm still wearing it now.' 'I know that.'

i'm intrigued by what they're really saying here. i'm mostly stuck on "you can think of it as baring your neck to the knife." laurent's comment could be a reference to previous dialogue, damen saying that he's only let his guard down for one person. as in, laurent's saying that he knows he's that person, and damen can think of laurent freeing him as removing the guard that laurent has both managed to reinforce and get past (the collar was literally a guard, in the case of the battle where it saved his life, and figuratively in many instances where his station as slave protected him). without the collar, and laurent's figurative protection, damen will find himself significantly more vulnerable than before—baring his neck to the knife of... life.

meanwhile, i think damen just wants another round while he can still have it. so he reminds laurent that he doesn't need to worry about that shit until the morning

(also: OH MY GOD. "BARING YOUR NECK TO THE KNIFE." NICAISE.)

His touch, once there, made its inevitable discovery. 'Overconfidence?' said Laurent. 'It's not—to a purpose.' 'I seem to recall otherwise.' Damen was halfway to being pushed down onto his back, with Laurent kneeling in his lap. 'All that self-restraint,' said Laurent.

hooray for another round of "sam tries to figure out what the fuck the dialogue has to do with the actual sex!" here's what i came up with:

l: (finds that damen is physically keen) (in the context of telling damen he's not allowed to touch, allowing laurent to do whatever he wants) you think i'm going to do anything about that for you?

d: it's there, but it doesn't mean that i want/need you to do anything you don't want to do

l: (choosing to take the literal meaning, instead of what damen actually meant, to deflect from his own discomfort) there have been plenty of times where you've clearly wanted to get off adjacent to me before (makes intent to fuck known) you must be restraining yourself so much

As Laurent leaned in, Damen unthinkingly lifted a hand to his hip to help balance him. And then realised what he had done. He felt Laurent's awareness of it. His hand was singing with tension. On the boundary of what was permitted. Damen could feel the shallowness of Laurent's breathing. But Laurent didn't pull away, instead, he inclined his head. Damen leaned in slowly, and, when Laurent didn't draw back, he pressed a single soft kiss to column of Laurent's neck. And then another.

He wanted to slide his hands up over Laurent's body. He wanted to see what would happen if this gentle attention was lavished on all of him, one part at a time, to see if he'd relax for even one, if he'd slowly begin to come apart, giving himself over to pleasure, the way he hadn't quite allowed himself to do at any moment except the climax, coming with flushed cheeks under Damen's thrusts. He didn't dare move his hand. His entire world seemed to have slowed, to the delicate shuddering of breath, the skitter of Laurent's pulse, the flush of Laurent's face and throat. 'That—feels good," said Laurent.

Laurent had forgotten himself enough to start moving against him. There was not even anything practiced about it, just a closed-eye seeking after pleasure. It was a shock to realise in the slight tremors, the flickering of breath, that Laurent was close, and how close he was, that he could come from being kissed, and this slow back-and-forth.

Maybe Laurent had always been this sensitive to tenderness.

it would make sense that the mindfucker supreme would also be supremely mindfucked, if he actually allowed someone to affect him in that way :)

That's it, Damen wanted to coax, and did not know if the words would be condescending.

a good call not saying it. praise kink would drive laurent insane, but probably not in a good way given his specific trauma. too close to past stuff, and hard to distinguish earnest sweetness from condescension

still hot though, which is probably part of why pacat included it in thought form

His own body was growing closer than he would have believed possible, from the feel of Laurent against him.

sex god fucking-since-he-was-thirteen damen discovering new orgasm strats from the traumatized not-quite-a-virgin-but-close laurent

Damen was smiling helplessly. 'That was adequate.' 'You've been waiting to say that.'

it wasn't even cleverly placed he just wanted to be a part of the bit 😭 and laurent is so fucked out that he can only half-heartedly mock him for the poor execution

'Let me.' Rolling him over and towelling him down, softly.

this sex scene literally has an arc. at the start: laurent doesn't even ask, just helps himself clean up, and offers the same to damen. is dissociated and unsure about what they've done. at the end: damen cleans laurent and laurent lets him, after giving himself to damen sexually and genuinely experiencing pleasure in his body.

'You can,' said Laurent, after a moment, meaning something else entirely. 'You're half-asleep.' 'Not quite.'

laurent assuming that he owes damen sex is so sad, but it also makes sense. and the fact that he doesn't take damen's respect of his consent and sleepiness seriously, because he's never been led to consider his own consent an important factor in whether or not he gets fucked. it's incredibly sweet to have this deeply erotic and gratifying moment for laurent where he doesn't actually have sex, because he doesn't need to, and that's respected and okay and portrayed just as lovingly and passionately as the actual sex.

Order me to stay, he wanted to say, and couldn't. Laurent was twenty years old, and the prince of a rival country, and even if their nations had been friends, it would have been impossible.

okay, but you just thought a few chapters ago that you could have totally courted him in those conditions. don't convince yourself you can't have this, that's what laurent literally just learned not to do in bed (very clever juxtaposition, by the way). i hope that someday these dumbasses can both manage to be honest with themselves at the same time, but today is not that day

'Until morning,' said Laurent. After a moment he felt Laurent's fingers come to rest on his arm, curling there slightly.

i think it's really unfortunate that this scene is not included in all versions of the book, although i do recall sex scenes in book 3 covering similar arcs/character development territory. but still. beautiful scene and i love them very much, and it also makes the nicaise stuff coming up feel even worse, and laurent's subsequent regression even more sad :(

#sam reads capri #captive prince #prince's gambit #capri #lamen #laurent of vere #damen of akielos

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luminique · 2 months ago

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looking through the lighter tag at the end of the day and your posts are there 😭 I am fed I am happy

HAVE YOU SEEN THAT OFFICIAL STORY ART OF LIGHTER (DONT!!!! READ AHEAD IF YOU HAVENT AND DONT WANT MINOR SPOILERS !!!!) ooohh my god. not to yearn on main but imagine him letting you help him bandage him up or him softly watching you trace your hand along his scars. If you ask he'll probably tell you where he got them but he doesn't wanna make you uncomfortable by just straight up telling you GAH I LOVE HIM

I keep thinking about how he's the one of newest sons of calydon members and the whole idea around being friends since before he had joined them and just . ouugh. And maybe you join him (and he will literally never forget it even though he wont mention how much that means to him)

Something something being the mechanic to his biker . I can't spell it out I had a mokent of clarity and got embarrassed about all this but I'm NOT TURNING ANON ON AGAIN!!!! I want to talk about him so badly he's such a loser (/pos)

he’d definitely not tell you straight up from what we’ve seen in the story currently. he lightly dances around the topic, maybe thinking it might push you away from him. who would love someone who’s covered in scars? but the moment you show even more interest and care, it softens him so much.

ALSO since i just finished the quest, he says at the end that we’re (proxy/mc) the only ones that remember him. like i literally did this whole event FOR YOU !! and if the SoC ever ask about you two, he’d get flustered when you’d start talking about your friendship with him. you’re mentioning some embarrassing moments and he just clears his throat and gets up, saying that he needs to get more nitro-fuel (there’s still a lot left). seeing you talk to the girls from afar, reminded him of when he first met you. he was beat up, bruised, earning titles for himself, people would never voluntarily go up to him without the intent of starting a fight. and yet you did, bearing no ill intent and only pure interest in wanting to know him.

for the last one, OUGSHSGSKDG i genuinely have like a thing for machinery (robot men i love) but i never see it through because i fear i am not a mechanic/engineer. definitely will try to write a long proper post for it so maybe in the future (maybe after his release?). BUT THE VISION !! I SEE IT !!

#lumiresponds ˚✧₊⁎☆#lighter zzz #zzz lighter #lighter lorenz #I AM SO SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG #i truly play so slow AND i have like 1927397393 gacha games #but still he’s on my mind #cuz now that there is severe wrio drought at least i can go insane over lighter #and my twt finally figured out that i like lighter #so i’ve just been getting wrio lighter wrio lighter art back to back #HOW AM I NOT SUPPOSED TO THINK ABOUT HIM ???

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wannab-urs · 1 year ago

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The Spreadsheet Digest - Vol 16

Howdy folks,

I went into a state of psychosis this week and read a truly absurd amount of fics... again. I don't even know where I'm finding the time, truly, but here we are. I didn't spend as much time keeping up with the WIPs I'm reading, so honestly that's probably it. Also I had a lil monsterfucking moment one day this week. I'll highlight those green so if you want to avoid reading the summaries/thots on those they're easy to spot.

You can find my Spreadsheet here and all my previous recs here! Do feel free to tag me in your works and I will happily give them a look and most likely you'll see them here the next week!

Recs below the behind the scenes Joel!

SNAFU - a Frankie series by @theywhowriteandknowthings

The Triple Frontier boys as Shifters!!! This honestly makes so much sense? Like they work SO well with this dynamic. I adore Pope and Reader's bond like right out of the gate. What I really, really fucking loved though was Reader and Frankie, of course. I love how they characterized him and I really love the way that Frankie and reader bonded over time. Frankie being grumpy is so fun lol. A lot of the little details in this fic are what really make it good, ya know? The pack dynamics, the bonding moments, the badass reader, reader's uhhh issue (spoiler, I think, so I'll be quiet here) but yeah. Just. Wonderful. Can't wait for more.

only daddy that'll walk the line - a Joel one shot by @millerscoffee

So this request was sent to two different blogs and I read them both and loved them both. I read this one first. I really fucking loved Reader's dynamic with Joel in this. Joel is such a dick lmao. I thought the situation with reader's dad was done well and I also loved the hinting at Joel's trauma. And of course... the smut. God that was hot. Joel is so fucking dominant. The spitting? please. and Reader keeping up the brat thing just really fucking makes it. She needed Daddy Joel to make her behave lmao. SO GOOD

Little Bee - a Joel one shot by @atticrissfinch

And this is the other version of this request that I read. I related to the specifc brand of Daddy Issues in this one lmao. Dad who doesn't want you so you look for a protective older man (why am I like this). I loved the way reader antagonized Joel in this. The denture comment is hilarious. The bee motif is fuckin great, also. I like that Joel kind of initiates things in the mess hall. The smut is so god damn hot man. Like jesus fucking christ. And then the post nut clarity really made me giggle. "should not have done that" PLS

Closer - a Joel series by @beardedjoel

Hot neighbor!joel!! This is a smut marathon style fic with a good bit of feelings. The smut is sooooo good!! I really liked her friend Sofia too. I'm about halfway through this and I can't wait to see how reader and joel's relationship develops!

Rises the Moon - a Joel one shot by @psychedelic-ink

(monsterfucking, but you're the monster! also monster is being used very loosely here) mermaid reader x lighthouse operator joel!!! I really enjoyed this. The mermaid reader was super interesting. I wanted to know more about her background, honestly. And the way poor lonely Joel so desperately wanted to care for her UGH. It was seriously lovely. I also really liked how reader didn't commit to like... giving up being a mermaid for him (even just once a month), and he didn't ask her to. The ending is really lovely. (And the smut is hot idc if I couldn't quite imagine how it worked, it was perfect).

Playing with fire - a Joel one shot by @beskarandblasters

Super hot smutty lil dad's best friend one shot. I love when Joel gets all pissy. Makes me want to tease him even more lmao

Cupid's Chokehold - a Din one shot by @deathwife

I haven't read a body swap fic before and I must say the dynamic with it being Din, so reader can't see his face even though it's her face, and also the smut was just like... really good. I was fascinated the whole time + the smut was hot as hell. It's really fun to read it from the perspective of the dick owner lmao. I really adored their relationship and just overall thought this was lovely. Reader calls Din "Djarin" so if you're like me and marrying Din would give you an awful name (Din Gin....), you're not alone. <3

I think i know - a Joel one shot by @pascalisbaby

OMG Reader's sister is so mean in this she fucking deserves Joel cheating on her. Yes this is Sister's Husband!Joel. And yes it's really fucking hot. Reader is a menace to fucking society in this prancing around half naked and seducing a married man and I support every second of it. I know what Joel said at the end but I think he'll be back for more....

close your eyes, pay the price for your paradise - a Joel/Tommy series by @ozarkthedog

Raider (?) Tommy and Joel are so fucking hot. Read the warnings on this one kids, it's gonna be a rough one. Nothing happens in this part though, really. Basically you're stranded on the road (post outbreak / pre tess) and Joel and Tommy roll up in their truck and take you to their cabin.

a day in the filth - a Joel one shot by @toxicanonymity

This is pure filth, as the title implies. It would seem you're Joel's little sex toy, essentially. Brat tamer!Daddy!Joel. There's a lot going on here and it is all unreasonably hot.

Bodily Exchange - a Pero Tovar one shot by @absurdthirst

I finally caved a read a mafia fic and somehow it wasn't Joel. I really loved how much of a fucking dick Tovar was and how bratty reader was. The end was so much sweeter than expected, which was a nice surprise. Such a filthy fic with a sweet happy ending!

New York or Nowhere - a Joel series by @beskarandblasters

BODEGA JOEL!!! I love when you're trying to help your friend come up with a fic based on a very specific request and somehow you come up with a completely different fic altogether. New York transplant Joel owns Beldro's Deli. You think he's really hot but your friends think he's a creep. I personally think if he's a little bit of a creep that just makes it better, but then again I'm a little insane <3

Shiver and Shake - a Joel one shot by @multiversed-daydreamer

I have ADHD and literally do the thing where I have thought spirals during sex. I loved this take on that experience and mean ol dom Joel being there to bring your focus back where it belongs (on him). Super fucking hot ugh. And it was their first TLOU fic and I thought the QZ Joel characterization was spot on <3

Roads - a Joel series by @milla-frenchy

Baby's first fic!! So you grew up with Tommy, best friends and all that. You get to know Joel as an adult and there's a spark right away. The first installment here takes place 3 years before present day, after Joel breaks your heart and you literally move to get away from him. The promise of so much angst has me salivating almost as much as the really hot smut.

Promise - an Ezra one shot by @criticallyacclaimedstranger

MONSTERFUCKING! I had a little binge this week.. you'll see. Anyway Ezra is a literal actual dragon in this with a big ol dragon dick and everything. This fic includes so many wild ass kinks I simply do not (or did not know I?) have. And yet I still loved it. Thought it was super fucking hot. I really liked the imagery of the castle and the bedroom. Also the end was kind of sweet?

Common Courtesies - a Din one shot by @juletheghoul

More monsterfucking -- demon!din! I fucking love Pride and Prejudice. Jane Austen in general. Mr. Darcy is one of the literary loves of my life. This little Pride and Prejudice-esque Demon!Din fic hit every mark. I loved it so much. Din is so charming and mysterious and sexy ugh. I would marry him in a heartbeat.

Solum - a Dave York one shot by @ezrasbirdie

You guessed it! Monsterfucking. Demon!Dave York!!! I really enjoyed the blending of the movie plot with the demon arc! It was so well done!! Dave was super sexy in this ugh. I too feel a strange pull toward extremely dangerous men covered in blood. Reader gets me. I am her. She is me. Demon!Dave can take me as his little human sex toy any day, idc. I also kind of loved that he was so sweet on Carol in this? Like usually in Dave fics he kinda hates her or cheats on her or she's his ex, but in this one the whole catalyst was keeping her and his girls safe. Very sweet.

Sell My Soul For You - a Marcus P one shot by @absurdthirst

--monsterfucking-- Marcus is so sweet. So sweet that Reader is getting a little aggravated he can't be a less sweet in bed. (Girl have you tried like... talking to him about it?) Anyway, sweet, impulsive, reckless Marcus finds out you feel this way via buttdial and does he like... work on it with you and slowly learn to be better? No. He goes out and sells his soul to a demon to be a better Dom. Idiot. He's cute tho, so I'll let it slide. The smut is super fucking unreasonably hot, of course.

Bad Moon Rising - a Jack series by @wardenparker

--werewolf!Jack-- This fic is actually so fucking sweet!! So part one, Reader doesn't know Jack is a werewolf and he just kinda shows up on her ranch and they hit it off immediately. There's lots of lovely animal references and stuff and it's all really hot. I love the plot too!! this is not just werewolf porn! Shit is incredible! I love the characterization. But anyway if you're not into monsterfucking just read part one. Part two tho... oh boy. Full on werewolf sex. And reader has a kink for it! She's just like me fr.

Kudzu - an Ezra one shot by @beskarberry

--weird alien hybrid ezra-- I have lots of emotions about this fic. First of all, read the warnings. They're extensive and they're there for good reason. I love a good horror fic, which is kind of what this felt like? Like the weird tension and unknowing and the freaky way Ez is talking and that arm. I was thoroughly freaked out (and I love that!!). There were so many clever and interesting things going on in this fic AHHHH, Oh and the ending is just like super sweet and wonderful and so good? The end balances out the kind of horrific nature of the rest of the fic. Also if any of that sounds insulting I really don't mean it that way, I promise. I went in to it expecting to be freaked out and it delivered so well.

Yes Father - a Joel series by @chloeangelic

Your boring catholic husband doesn't fuck you right and you really want to leave him, so Father Joel helps you satisfy your needs so you don't destroy your marriage and go to hell. I love blasphemy. It's hot idc. I think my favorite thing about it is Father Joel randomly admonishing you for foul language and taking the lord's name in vain while he's literally got some part of his body buried in yours. I giggled. I really adore this. It was super fun and super hot.

Pillow Talk - a Joel one shot by @theboredinsomniac

Joel is soooo the jealous type. This fic is basically y'all having an adult conversation about him being an insecure jealous little bitch and it's got the most adorable ending.

Born to Run - a Marcus Pike series by @whataperfectwasteoftime

Penny's Marcus is just perfect. Every damn time. Unless I'm mistaken, this was her first Marcus fic? I was in the mood for a sweet multichapter thing with some hot smut and I was sooooo not disappointed by this. I'm on chapter 8 now, so about halfway through. Marcus is so sweet and precious and still impulsive as ever, but unlike Theresa, reader is right there with him. I really adore that this fic takes place in KY (and it really captures the vibe of Kentucky too) since I'm from there! I very much do not relate to the fact that reader is a marathon runner, but that's okay. I think it's really cool and I love the way they meet and that Marcus isn't fully a white knight? She can take care of herself. Super fucking cute fic ugh. Oh yeah and the smut is to die for jesus christ Marcus is hot.

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Happy Reading!

#fic recs #the spreadsheet digest #fanfiction recommendations #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro fics #pedro pascal character fanfiction

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utilitycaster · 1 year ago

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(Long ask warning)

Hello! I'm jumping on the appreciation train to say thank you so much for all of your meta and analysis! I just found your blog today, and you've already given me so much clarity and context for things I've been noticing in the CR fandom lately.

I quite literally spent my summer living under a rock (in the woods leading spelunking for scouts!) and so was completely out of the loop from early June through September. And while I am not yet caught up (I'm about to start ep. 65), I have been going through the tags and ao3, because I primarily engage with fandom through fic and I don't care about spoilers. And I can't help but notice that everything being written for c3 lately is just... monochromatic. The Hells have such interesting characters and premises. One would think they're ripe for creative and interesting fic. And yet even what little gen fic that I have seen since returning to civilization has largely been boiled down to reiterative mush with vaguely shippy overtones. I can totally see this being indicative of the cresting and waning of the Imodna and Callowmore shipping you've been discussing.

I've gotta ask though, is it really just shipping that is causing this problem? Or is there something else in the source material that you think could be affecting fic in particular?

This is the first time I've been in a fandom with ongoing source material in over a decade. I'm used to watching people beat dead horses in their own little corner, safe in the knowledge that I can block them and it isn't going to affect my experience in the slightest. I guess I'm just having a hard time believing/remembering that shipping can be this incidious.

So a couple of things: first, I was not heavily involved in fandom until Critical Role; I have a decent amount of background knowledge from being on Tumblr and because I do tend to look into/research this kind of thing because it's very interesting to me, but you will probably have better snapshot of what fandom looked like 10 years ago than I do. Second, fanfic has always been a tiny aspect of what I've engaged with and I do find the bulk of it to be dull and samey (which is why it is a tiny aspect), so again, you probably are a better judge of the quality of fanfic elsewhere.

With that said, as part of a much larger discussion of which I only have as mentioned pieces of the puzzle, I do think there's been a shift over the past decade or so of like...people expecting the source material to reflect fanfic-y desires, and resenting it when it does not; people not seeing the point in enjoying non-canon ships; and a broader theme of self-infantilization. This has to a small extent spilled over into published fiction, though thankfully there's plenty that isn't that. It's not just shipping (though that absolutely can be insidious to the point that people have been harassed and doxxed over it); I think it's a general taste for pablum that has been growing within fandom spaces.

I'll link a few posts I've made and a source that, while I cannot vouch for it per se I did read and found enlightening at the end but I think a really indicative example as of late was the fandom response to the show Good Omens (spoilers for Good Omens S2 in the next link if you are by any chance avoiding those). Obviously do not do anything obnoxious to the person who wrote this question, but there are a worrying number of people in fandom spaces who believe this unironically and uncritically: fiction exists to "save us from hurtful reality." And I do understand that the tumultuous politics and world events of the past decade are probably a factor; but I mean, have you looked at literature from the first half of the 20th century (or like. the second half, for that matter)? It is, in my opinion, only going to help put our modern world and issues in better context and honestly make you feel better in the long run if you read, say, The Great Gatsby or The Things They Carried instead of burying your head in lower case song lyrics ... (hurt/comfort, fix-it, happy ending, 6k) and like, to be clear, I have written a small portion of lower case song lyric-titled fics myself but most of them aren't terribly happy, and even so, god I'd be horrified if that was all people were reading.

We've seen it across fandom at large with the polls; I have not watched season 2 of Our Flag Means Death in part because I've realized with horror that this mentality has swept, plague-like, through that fandom; people are acting like having a canon queer ship on a small premium cable show in 2022 is world-changing and unprecedented while also kind of ignoring everything that isn't the central ship (including valid criticisms of how this takes a real-world plantation owner and turns him into a goofy fop, how there's precious few female characters and none in the main cast, and how the actually far more groundbreaking nb character is pushed aside in favor of the core M/M ship). Spoilers for Good Omens again (sorry in advance, Good Omens 2 was a realization point for me how deeply and widely this rot has set in in some places and I have a bunch of sources of people being like "guys stories require conflict and tension to be good" in response to the overwrought moaning that the story wasn't unambiguously happy) but this is another author responding to the "the desired endpoint of all fiction is obviously to have your ship living in a small house together in bliss and anything else is torment" mentality.

In addition to shipping another factor is, I think, people overidentifying with characters and as such being reluctant to actually put them through any sort of hardship, however minor. I recently reblogged a post about the origin of the concept "Mary Sue" and it led me to read a bit about its history, because it was in fact created by women. It was a woman in the Star Trek fandom who was sick of spending money to buy fanzines (pre-common home internet, let alone pre-Ao3) only to find the vast majority of the stories to be this "here is my self-insert who is perfect and beautiful and pure and every other character thinks she is the greatest even if that's entire OOC". It was a frustration with the abandonment of the characterizations in the original work. And that's true today - I have read a popular Imogen and Laudna fluff fic to see what the deal was and it stripped out so much of their premises and characterizations it was unrecognizeable as them but for the hair colors and occasional cringeworthy attempts to replicate Southern US dialect - but what was notable is that those people were at least being honest and writing OCs (though to be fair a lot of them were also young white teen girls and the only woman in TOS was black and that was probably also a factor). Now, you get people who cannot tolerate any analysis of characters that is less than flattering because instead of having an OC, they are identifying so strongly with, for example, Imogen or Ashton, that they cannot separate out the real character or understand this is not an attack on them (or, to be blunt, as someone who sees some of my own worse traits in both those characters, a necessary critique). It's not shipping, but it is that same "fiction should only ever be a soft blanket or a flattering mirror, never a dark mirror and certainly never a door" mentality.

I do place a little blame on fanfiction itself; I think having something that is roughly made to order and tells you exactly what it is up front means people start to think that is the only way, and that's why we have people claiming Chipotle is the height of cuisine while making gagging noises at the authentic Mexican restaurant except for fiction. I think fanfiction can be great; it's fun to write and I have read some great pieces. But a lot of it is mush and formulaic and as that Mary Sue history points out, always has been.

So anyway, to Bells Hells: I think past campaigns also had a lot of dull fanfiction; I think the Nein lent themselves more to poorly written angst than poorly written fluff but yeah a lot of that was really samey and bland in its own way. Fanfiction has always been formulaic to a degree but I think we're starting to see the generation of people who really have read more of that than like, books, and sure there are shitty books, but man there's a LOT of shitty fanfiction, and increasingly, I find that shitty published books are bad because they're too much like fanfiction. [If I get the chance today I have a post I want to write about the ignorance of fantasy tropes in the current fandom which I think is also driving some of this and which I alluded to in my post about shipping; like, I feel the almost automatic but oddly thought-free resistance to gods and fate and the 'right' way to respond to a tragic backstory comes from this ignorance; this also is a case in the D20 fandom when they've dipped into sci fi.] Shipping definitely is a factor, and I think again C3 has an influx of fans primarily here to ship in that "my ship must become canon and must 'win' for some arbitrary definition thereof" which is probably why so much of the fanfic sucks, but again, this is a larger self-infantilizing and entitled mentality that goes beyond mere ships.

Further reading (mostly my own posts but not exclusively)

The fandom echo chamber (also Good Omens spoilers in a broad sense), not by me

Some discussion on queerphobia being inserted only as a tool to assist with specific shipping narratives (I think this ties in again to like. people need obstacles to justify why the characters aren't already in their cottage by the sea but once the characters are together they discard these obstacles even if they are systemic and would still exist, which makes for really bad fanfic bc it's clearly poorly plotted and thought out)

Me on why this campaign isn't good for shipping but a lot of the fandom showed up primarily to ship (might be the post that prompted this ask tbf)

Fandom monocropping (not my post)

My treatise on Imogen and Laudna specifically which honestly, even now that they are canon, still largely holds up re: the fandom and a related one about similarly fluff-centric Change is Evil and the highest order of fiction is Two Blorbos In A House With Zero Problems mentality (not by me but I've been part of that discussion)

#answered #Anonymous #long post

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innerchorus · 8 months ago

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Arslan Senki Chapter 127

The long-awaited encounter with Zahhak is here! I'm tagging my posts for new manga chapters with 'arslan senki spoilers' but here is your reminder to look away (and probably avoid my blog until you've read the chapter) if you don't want to find out what happens.

Turns out I was right about a few things and my suspicions about something else seem likely to be correct, too.

The chapter opens with the legend of Zahhak and his defeat by Kaykhusraw as the Parsians know it. The title page features Kaykhusraw's open sarcophagus with his wrapped body and Rukhnabad inside, inside the tomb. This is clearly from an earlier time (presumably his burial?), well before Hilmes ventured down there, and given the chapter title it feels... ominous. (And it's right to feel that way, as you'll see when you get to the end of the chapter.)

The legend is conveyed in the typical stylised carving/illustration style that Arakawa has used for mythological history before.

Look what appears as a decorative border to one of the panels!

It might just be a nod to the existence of these creatures in the novels, but I really hope that their presence here makes it more likely we might actually encounter them before the end of the manga... DARK TEMPLE PLUS CREATURES, ARAKAWA PLEASE

Very much has the feel of something that has been mythologised, the details probably don't match up exactly with how it really went down, but the main points are there...

...and 300 years later, the Snake King appears to have returned

Farangis's raishal reacting like this is a nice touch and shows just how extreme the presence of evil is here. (Also I didn't know it could do that so I'm filing this detail away very happily.)

Those snake heads are really very freaky, the fact that they are so humanoid yet totally animalistic and driven by instict and hunger for human brains. Top notch horror!

Daryun's warrior instinct comes to the fore and overrides his shock!

The Zot do their best but one gets chomped pretty quickly, sadly. I'll go ahead and say it now, the Zot being the only casualties in this encounter was exactly as I called it, but Arakawa does her best to ensure their deaths don't feel trivial, as we later learn the names of those who fell, and even though we never got to know them it's clear that they meant something to their comrades.

Some very exciting combat scenes follow and Team Arslan enter the fray and get to grips with their frightening new enemy! Some key details about Zahhak rapidly become apparent: his blood is corrosive, and his wounds can heal.

The key is to keep moving! Alfarid realises this; one of the Zot tries to encourage her to flee, but is struggling with his terrified mount, but thanks to Elam and Alfarid loosing arrows at one of the snake heads he is spared.

Don Ricardo is in abject terror, but his behaviour later this chapter was a surprise for me, in a good way!

Estelle saving Don Ricardo just in time, and putting her life on the line to stand before him even though she's trembling in fear! 👌👌👌

She's so brave!

She doesn't know that the snakes have spotted/sensed Rukhbanad... but Don Ricardo does! Let's hope he will now give that 'junk sword' the respect it deserves. Anyway this is the part where he surprised me, as he breaks out of his terrified state to call out to everyone to rally to him and gather round the sword! Remember when I said 'quick, everyone group hug Don Ricardo'?

Of course, he's speaking in Lusitanian, but Estelle translates in an instant... and Gieve quickly grasps why!

"Is it truly Zahhak...?" This is the line that makes me think I might be on the mark when I say that Zahhak, although freed from Mount Damavand, may not have returned to full consciousness yet. I think those head jars may have something to do with a final ritual to bring about his true return.

So, it's now a stalemate. Zahhak cannot attack them, but they can't attack it either. But there's an ominous shape in the mist (and you can take one look at it and just KNOW it's going to be fucked up and even take a pretty good guess at how)

Before Team Arslan can get a good look at it, Zahhak withdraws, whether due to the arrows they fired at it it because of some other unknown reason isn't clear... Team Arslan leave without even being able to spare time to bury the bodies of the fallen, which clearly weighs on them, but night is drawing closer and they can't remain safely.

(I wonder whether they will still continue to Mount Damavand? Perhaps Arslan will appeal to Kaykhusraw's spirit to seek his approval to wield the sword? Or maybe priorities will have understandably changed and they'll change directions. Personally I think we'll at least get a scene that indicates Arslan has the right to wield Rukhnabad!)

Anyway Zahhak's also in a hurry to get somewhere and although Team Arslan didn't manage to glimpse the true horror, we do!

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

Well, now we know what happened to Kaykhusraw's mummified body? I did think that Team Zahhak would use him as a vessel for the Snake King, thinking this might occur in Ecbatana, but nope, that looks to be the case already.

The torso ending in a cluster of snakes, ugh.

I wonder whether Kaykhusraw's spirit is aware of what has happened to his body now that it has been possessed like this?

I wonder whether the intention is for Zahhak to retain this form? Because at the end of the chapter you see the host body's brittle-looking arm disintegrate where one of Team Arslan's arrows struck it, and it looks different to Zahhak's snakes pushing arrows from their bodies and regenerating. So maybe this takeover of Kaykhusraw is a temporary thing, and Team Zahhak are planning to transfer Zahhak to a new body once he reaches Ecbatana? And that new body... who better than another descendant of the Parsian royal line? 👀

I feel like with any luck I might get my wish for Hilmes to come face to face with Zahhak and in a moment of horror realise exactly what the sorcerers have been using him for and what he's helped to bring about...

(I want Team Zahhak to be planning for Hilmes to be a host for Zahhak but I don't want for it to actually happen! I'd love it if Team Arslan managed to step in just in time... augh my brain is racing into visions of Hilmes captured for a head jar ritual below Ecbatana)

Oh and Zahhak really is heading towards Ecbatana as I thought, so it looks extremely likely that all final showdowns are going to take place there. I feel like this direction was actually hinted at when the corpse of Kaykhusraw was slithering towards the setting sun. It's a panel I really like, as it both indicates the sun (which represents the Shah) setting on the royal line and Pars alike, and as the sun sets in the west and Ecbatana is west of Mount Damavand, you can tentatively extrapolate where the Snake King is heading.

So now Team Arslan have seen the Snake King. One day soon, they will have to defeat him for good. And given that everyone survived this time, can we hope for the same to happen again when they next meet in battle?

#arslan senki #the heroic legend of arslan #arslan senki spoilers #zahhak #team zahhak #arslan #daryun #estelle #don ricardo #kaykhusraw

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juniperhillpatient · 6 months ago

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thank you SO much @missjessefantastico for the tag <3 ALSO EVERYONE READ THIS SERIES ABOUT VAMP WILLOW, THE UNDERRATED HYENA KIDS, & MORE!!! It's so good btvs fans who love underexplored ideas & characters pspspsps

20 Questions For Fic Writers

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 19

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 3,027,073

3. What fandoms do you write for? It's been Avatar the Last Airbender for the past few years. I have an old & probably not-good Rick & Morty fic up. Before that, I had some IT fics. I've got an orphaned fic for scream & one for house of 1000 corpses.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

the benefits of getting a flat tire this is Zuko running away from home & running right into the gaang - also uncovering some family mysteries & reconciling with Azula. modern au. it's Zukka & aw I'm nostalgic for those early days of mine in the fandom

if this were a movie this is basically an ATLA Hollywood Au. Zukka & Azutara. Past Jetko. I was happy with some of the dramatic moments in this fic.

not another high school au lord help me lmao. I'm SO sorry if you are reading this & you happen to love this fic but it's not the thing I'm most proud of. this is basically just me dipping my toes into writing ATLA modern AUs & in that sense I guess it's nostalgic? this is the fic I wrote as a newbie to the fandom just trying it out & I still do lovingly appreciate everyone who was kind & welcoming in those early days!

six feet under ATLA TVD AU MY BELOVED OMG. this is a vampire diaries au. there are no 1:1 translations but azula is damon, katara is a mix of jeremy & elena & so is sokka, zuko is stefan & YEAH. also aang is bonnie & iirc I probably even gave toph something fun to do. ozai is Katherine which is forever hilarious to me. yeah, this was a fun fic.

5. in search of glorious happenings of happenstance this fic is about nothing & everything at the same time. atla/modern world fusion with the four nations existing but also it's modern. all the atla teens/kids are going to college at ember island university & the fic takes place across a year. it's slice of life, comedy, drama, & chaos. lots of ships but I think azutara & jet/zuko/jin are probably, at the end of the day, the romances that are at the heart of this story although platonic relationships are also pretty important in this fic, IMO as much as romances. it's probably my magnum opus or something.

Do you respond to comments? yes <3 I am sometimes slow & I am not perfect but I TREASURE comments & do attempt to let people know as much. I write for myself, I post for the connections I make along the way.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? the devil you know for sure. this is my atla/scream modern au. I talk about it constantly because I'm so insanely proud of it but if you don't know it's exactly what it sounds like. it's horror & tragedy that I feel really proud of & I do think those elements are at the heart of my writing passion despite me usually being a bit nervous about using them. so. I'm proud of this fic. & it has a very bittersweet ending but the tragedy is...there's a lot of tragedy. no more spoilers because I want people to read this!

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? most of my fics have decently happy endings despite me claiming to prefer tragedy lol. I seem to recall the things we leave behind (mailee youtuber au with jetko & auztara. & they were roommates!) having a tooth rottingly fluffy ending lol

8. Do you get hate on fics? not really. it's happened before but it's not a big thing.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? sometimes I write the smutty scenes from my fics then save it only for myself. no you can't see. it's probably terrible. there's some shitty zucest smut of mine out there somewhere but I'm not sure it's any good & couldn't tell you where to find it lol

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I think the AUs I write are called "fusion" because it's more "inserting characters into another world & the characters of that world aren't a thing." but my fic the balance of things was actually a crossover with characters from both wizards of waverly place & atla interacting. also I wrote THIS one-shot that's a crossover between the game the coffin of andy & leyley & the show wizards of waverly place. I didn't post it on ao3 but I'm just saying.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? I don't think so?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? I have vague memories of doing this with this girl I was online friends with back in my fanfic.net days, years ago. I think it was Destiel.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? to write? I don't have one right now. I think maybe I got kinda burnt out on everything having to be about one ship or whatever rather than just telling the story & maybe that's a small part of why I'm taking a temporary break from fic writing & focusing on an original story so I'm not staying within fandom approved in parameters & I can just do whatever feels right ya know? I like Cisne's answer about any willow ship tho. me with my faves tbh hehe

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? can't think of one but I can think of fanfic ideas I'd like to return to & fully realize after I get back in the mood

16. What are your writing strengths? I like to think I'm okay at characterization although moving away from fanfic & working on something original has me questioning myself constantly!

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I'm very lazy & often neglect research. sometimes if I don't know how to explain something I just change the whole scene so i don't have to bother.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? could be neat in the right context!

19. First fandom you wrote for? probably family guy lmao

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? maybe 'in search of glorious happenings of happenstance.' I think 'the devil you know' is objectively the strongest. but happenstance is just such a specific version of the characters that's fun to me? it's one of those two that's my favorite, depending on my mood

this is very long so these tags have even less pressure than usual:

@reythespacebae @theowritesfiction @imaslowlearner-butilearn @chasingfictions @hello-nichya-here @matchamarshmallow @akiizayoi4869 @dont-leafmealone @peony-pearl @lunaintheskyforever

also, anyone who wants to do this just say I tagged you!

#THANK YOU FOR THE TAG <333333 #writing #tag games

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froggyphycosis · 11 months ago

Text

Sleepless nights and something handcrafted

Fic based on a headcannon by @turtleblogatlast which is here (might contain spoilers so I'll link it at the end aswell if you want to read it after)

Summary

Pretty much all of Leo's comics are destroyed from the Kraang and Shredder so he has to read them all digitally. Mikey finds out and does somthing about it.

5899 words

Uhhhhh tw's and cw's real qiuck

Swearing

panic attacks

Nightmares

Implied/refferences to death (in a dream though nothing serious or majorly descriptive)

And characters being in pain

Eughhhh that sounds bad but I swear this fic is hurt/COMFORT so

(if there's anything in forgetting to tag let me know please!!)

______________________________

It's quiet, and calm.

Its reached that rare lull in the lair where everyone is off to do there own thing peacfully without another brother to cause chaos or niose along with them.

And suddenly, (and not at all surprisingly) Mikey finds himself bored, lying in his hammock and to tired to do anything and lonely without the immediate proximity to one of his older brothers.

It's an achievement if anything, it's the first time since the invasion that there hasn't been anything to do, no medical checkups to take care of, no panic attacks to be had... Just peace.

No one is actively dying, the chores are done, hes already cooked dinner (dad had even joined them aswell! He'd been doing that more often since the invasion, it warmed Mikey up a little on the inside he liked it when dad ate dinner with them and secretly hopes he keeps doing it).

So what does Mikey do then? he already knows he's gonna seek out one of his brothers, but who....

Well Donnie is busy in his lab right now using really loud machinery, and as much as Mikey *loves* sitting and drawing in the lab with him, it would be to loud to concentrate on anything.

He could go and hangout with Raph.... but he's training, trying incredibly hard to acclimate to the lack of sight in his right eye, and Mikey doesn't want to interrupt that.

So that means.... he can hang out with Leo!

Great! The portal duo for the win! He thinks triumphantly. Mikey can't think of anything that Leo could be doing right now. He knows that Leo isn't out with Usagi, since he went out with him before dinner, and he probably wouldn't have gone to April's without texting the group chat first...

So he's definitely free!

Mikey hops up from his hammock with more excitement than is probably necessary, and skips his way to Leo's room.

"LEO!" he shouts, slamming the door open with his foot, and happily watching as Leo jumps out of his shell.

"FU-JESUS Mike what in the all living HELL do you want??"

"Company!"

"The fuck do you mean company??"

"I'm like, reaaaaaaaaal bored right now, so I need a sibling to fill that void! And I'm obviously picking you!" he doesn't move from where he's standing, because if Leo is actually doing something he doesn't want to be interrupted from, Mikey will leave.

But just as he thought, (and maybe kind of planned) Leo rolls his eyes affectionately, switches his tablet to one hand and holds out his arm, Mikey doesn't need anymore encouragement than that, he dives into the bed and cuddles himself right up into Leos side.

"Sooooooo what'cha doin?"

"Reading comics," he snorts.

Mikey pauses, looking around the bed,"What where? thought you were doing somthing with your tablet?"

"Yeah I was I'm reading them on digital." Leo lifts up the screen, and holds it out in front of him, Mikey can see the grainy image of one of Leo's favourite JJ comics. "they all got destroyed remember? And I couldn't buy them so I just read them on here."

Mikey's stomach drops.

Oh crap, he had completely forgotten most of Leos comics were *destroyed*. He glances over at the corner of the room, where sure enough, a heap of his old comics were laying in a pile, destroyed beyond repair.

"Oh Leo.... I am so sorry, I had completely forgotten about your comics that must be awful," Mikey sinks a little feeling bad for even having come into the room now "sorry for bringing it up."

"W-what Mike's it's fine it doesn't even matter! I'm not upset really!" Leo looks midly shocked and a little guilty, which is stupid because Mikey brought it up.

He chucks the tablet to the side nonchalantly, rolling his eyes "Its fine! I don't even really read comics that much anymore ya know??" he smiles nervously.

Yeah, because you don't have any, is what Mikey wants to say, but he very patiently keeps his mouth shut.

Mikey knows he's lying, he can see it, he's far more perceptive than his brothers are. He can see the way Leo's eyes get a little bit shinier,the way his brow creases and he avoids Mikey's eye contact like it's the plague.

And the box turtle's heart sinks.

It's not okay, *it's not*, all of his old comics that are still intact enough to keep, but not enough to read, are piled up in the corner, a constant reminder of lost childhood.

It makes *Mikey* want to cry looking at it, he can't imagine what it must feel like for Leo to look at it every night.

Mikey doesn't push Leo on the subject, they end up going to play animal crossing with Dee instead but it doesn't leave Mikey's head for an instant, bugging him like and itch at the back of his skill that he can't itch.

He's going to find a way to fix this, even if he has to walk across a mile of broken glass to do so.

________________________________

Mikey doesn't sleep that night, even if his body is exhausted, (even months later his body still feels drained from opening that portal).

He probably shouldn't be awake, they did all agree on set sleeping times, or at least lying-down-and-trying-to sleep-times the name was a work in progress.

And he might be a little hypocritical for not following that since it was his idea-But! In his defense, he was on an important mission! So it was like totally 100% fine.

He was trying to find copies of jupiter Jim comics for Leo, because he was obviously sad about it, even though he wouldn't admit it. And Mikey was *officially*, the worst little brother in the entire whole wide universe, if he'd didn't *try* and do somthing about it.

So that's what he was doing obviously.

Leo was the bravest person he knew. He had been through hell and back for his family, and even the world, for people he didn't know.

He was an incredible big brother, and leader, and Mikey decided this was his way to give back just a fraction of that kindness in return.

Then again.... the universe seemed pretty against him right now, blessing him with the lack of any physical copies, of any kind of jj comics, on the entire internet.

Mikey spent the whole night, scouring the internet, and using every website he could think of to find them, but alas, not a trace. Dammit, why couldn't dad have found really well known dvds and comics thrown away in the sewers for Leo's and Donnie's birthday? This situation would have been so much easier.

Maybe like Harry Potter, or something, he wonders how much different their life would be if that ever happened, maybe Dee would've believed in magic sooner. (he makes himself snort with that one).

It takes him 5 hours before he finally stops and decides to throw in the towel, he's going to have to quit, there isn't anything anywhere. Which just sucks, because Mikey hates losing, and hates giving up on anything even more, but he closes the laptop down anyway with a sigh, and shuffles down into a more comfortable position.

He glances at the clock across the room, and eughh boyyy.... Well it's 7 o'clock, so he's going to have to get up in 10 minutes to make breakfast.

He stayed awake all night.

Whoops.

Stupid vintage comics he thinks darkly.

He'll have to go up topside to try and find some in a comic book shop tommorow he thinks as he finally let's his exhaustion give in and closes his eyes.

_____________________________

"UGHHHHHHHH," Mikey groaned loudly, dropping the comics in his now 5 fingered hands. His loud outburst garnering several odd looks from the staff and other shoppers in the store.

"April they have to be somwhere right??"

Casey and April both glanced at eachother, and then over at him sympathetically.

"Look Mikey..." April starts, before CJ pipes up next to her, having resumed flicking through the comics.

"Mikey, we have been to almost every comic shop in new York, big and small i mean this as politghtly as possible, I don't think we can get Leo's comics back." he looks at Mikey softly, "I'm sure he would appreciate the effort though."

He couldn't help but diflate at that, he's failed *again*, he's failed Leo....

April walked around the box, and pulled him into a hug that he happily buried himself into, and Casey, in a rare show of public affection, joins aswell.

But when he finally pulls apart and swipes an orange sleeve over his eyes, he suddenly gets a plan so cool, so ultimately awsome and incredibly smart that even *Leo* would be jealous.

"Okay, guys, I think i know what i need to do," he looked up at April and gave her the most mischievous grin he could offer "I think we're gonna need to take a trip to the art store."

"ohhohohohono what does that look mean?? What are you up to?" she squinted at him hands planted on hips

"hush now april," Casey places a hand on her shoulder, and the other on his heart "that look can only mean great things," he grinned "so Mikes where we heading?"

______________________________

Leo hopped across the platform over to Mike's train cart, his leg was acting up today much to his own dismay, not so bad to tell anyone though.... Just bad enough that walking was a little inconvenient, he probably didn't need any meds to be honest, he should be fine.

He gets to the door of the train cart and slams it to the side as hard as he can, (payback for the other day) it bangs when it hits the frame.

"Ohhhhhh Miguelllll!!!"

He gets sight of Mikey staring at his tablet, (it's almost a mirror of April without her glasses Leo thinks with a smile) before he slams his sketchbook closed, and shoves everything within arms reach off his desk, Leo has already been there a few seconds watching this unfold.

Okayyyy....That was....Odd...

"ohhhhhh hey Leoooo...," Mikey smiled nervously, hands tapping against his plastron. It's a stim he's had since was a tot, "so ummmm what are you doing in my room?"

"nothinnnnng.... So what were you drawing?" he glanced down at the sketchbook that had been shoved on the floor, still open, he could only make out the faint sketches of boxes and nothing else, before Mikey slammed it shut and held it to his chest.

"N-nothing," his little brothers face doesn't look caught anymore, it looks worried now, and that face twists somthing in Leo's stomach.

"wait, shit, Mikey have your hands been acting up again??" oh fuck oh no "Mikes we talked about this, if they start hurting you have to tell somone even if you don't think it feels that bad."

He feels a switch go off on his brain the second he thinks Mikey is hurt and everything else goes out the back window.

His little brother has a tendency to fix things, not in the way that Donnie does, with his intellect and his smarts, with nuts and bolts and tech and limitless knowledge.

Mikey fixes sadness, and hurt, he comforts and loves with a single minded focus that leaves anyone in its wake absolutely astonished at how plentiful and sincere it is.

No matter who it is, where it is, or when it is, if it's broken he'll fix it.

But he will *always* leave himself behind.

Its not intentional, he doesn't mean to, he'd take care of himself if he realized. But once Mikey has his mind made up? Its done. He'll get it done no matter what, leaving him to forget about himself.

He's lucky enough to have a family that recognises it, and help before it gets to bad.

"What no my hands are fine Leo seriously!"

"yeah Mikey, maybe so, but I'm still gonna take a look now put 'em out ."

Mikey doesn't retaliate, just takes his wraps off exasperatedly and lays his hands out for Leo to see.

He doesn't react when Leo softly presses down on the scars, and bends his finger and elbow joints gently so they probably weren't hurting.... And the shakes are small and unnoticeable unless you look hard.

So Mikey is fine.

Then why was he so jumpy before???

"hows your leg doing Leo?"

Leo's head snaps up to meet Mikey's gaze, feeling to shocked by sudden line of questioning to actually answer immediately.

"o-oh uhm my leg is fine Mikey, thanks for asking."

He feels the tension drain out of him now that he's sure Mikey isn't hurt, he looks fine, if a bit panicky, and Leo is starting to wonder what kind of secret he's hiding in his sketchbook. The blackmail opportunities could be unreal....

He's *definitely* trying to cover something up, now Leo *can* just outright say that he knows that, but watching Mikey try, and fail, to lie about it, would be waaaaay funnier.

"OH really.....?" Leo stares him dead in the face even though its not being returned at all "so if your hands aren't hurting, why won't you show me your art? what kind of things were you drawing exactly..?"

Mikey squeaks, and his face dips into his shell a little before popping out again fully, to yell "U-UH ITS TUPER SOP SECRET!!!"

Damn, Dontron probably heard that from his maximum security sound proofed lab, *and* with full volume music blasting through his headphones.

"awww come on, please tell me, please please please please!!" he clasps his hands together and makes what he hopes are decent puppy dog eyes.

His little brother doesn't answer him, instead he sinks down further in his shell.

"Mmmmmnnno, and you still haven't told me why you were in here either?"

Its probably the most awful attempt Leo has ever seen at changing the subject, but he takes pity on his brother and decides to go along with it anyway.

"Nothing really I was just bored and wanted to see if you wanted to come and play Mario kart with me?" he grins "you do owe me for the entertainment I provided you with the other day."

The box turtle visibly perks up at this face now fully visible.

"omigosh!! yes! absolutely! I would love to!!" he threw hi sketchbook behind him, and hopped off his chair "lead the way Leon!!"

Leo couldnt help the laugh that sputtered out of him. How Mikey could go from dying of fear, to sunshine and smiles in such a short time was beyond him.

"yeah yeah alright, would you mind giving me a hand though? my leg is kinda sore today."

Mikey swings round and looks at him accusingly "I thought you said it was fine??"

Oh shit yeah.

"Y-yeah it is!! its just a little sore, promise, now come on give me a hand you goof."

Mikey rolls his eyes, but can't help the grin that over takes his face and agreeably lends Leo his shoulder.

He won't bother Mike about whatever he's hiding, Leo may be crazy curious, but he knows that if Mikey does anything to dumb or to stupid, he's got him to rely on and go to when he's in need of help, so Leo feels comfortable in letting him hide whatever it is he's hiding, plus he thinks he'd know if it was somthing bad.

____________________________

It was roughly around 3am, and the little sleep Leo got these days was unfortunately interrupted yet again with another nightmare, another dream about the Kraang again, but this time it was concentrated on *Mikey*.

His mind kept playing a loop of the exact moment when Mikey left-when he was gone, gone gone gone gone gone, went cold in Leos arms and, and-Leo woke up. Drenched in his own sweat, hot and frozen at the same time, still stuck in the position he fell asleep in. Unable to move, it took him an eternity before his *useless* muscles finally dragged themselves upright and out of his bed.

He was sprinting towards Mikey's dimly lit glittery train cart before he even realized he was doing it. Chest heaving, and the ache in his leg only second hand awareness at best.

Warm orange light was pouring out of the cart, and the smell of that citrus diffuser his baby brother always insisted on using was so subtle, but so overwhelmingly comforting, that it sort of makes Leo want to cry.

The lights being on must me he's awake then, and Leo thanks pizza supreme in the sky, because waking up his brothers from the little sleep they got nowadays felt awful. And doing it to Mikey always felt the worst, because that was his little brother he was waking up, and for his own stupid needs too.

Stupid. stupid. stupid. Stupid.

He slides open the door as quietly as he can,his eyes taking a minute to adjust.

Mikey is passed out on the floor, pens pencils, headphones and other art supplies scattered around him and it makes his heart momentarily jump into his throat seeing he's not awake-not alive *not moving*. He snaps out of the spiral quickly though and realizes he needs to calm down right now or he's gonna pass out.

Having a panic attack in his little brothers room is not the most optimal place to do so, so the slider takes a minute to compose his frenzied nerves realizing how worse it's gotten since he woke up. So sitting next to his *sleeping* brother, he breathes in and out in slow even breathes, in the way they all learnt to, it was almost muscle memory by now.

Ha, if only it was that easy to actually calm down.

Leo stands up joints creaking and leg whining in the protest, oh right, he ran here, that's gonna hurt like a bitch tommorow he just knows it.

Picking Mikey up is usually no problem, hes small and lightweight compared to his brothers, but with his shaking arms and tired body, (that's currently down a leg) the task is almost monumental, and he feels out of breathe by the time he's dumped the box turtle into his hammock.

He can still hear soft music playing from Mikey's headphones and he picks them up and listens to it. His mind is still groggy from all the running and panicking, so it takes a second to realize whats playing.

Oh! It's Mr sunshine! Ha, he's so good.

Oh, wait. it's Mr sunshine. maybe they should talk about that later...

He turns the headphones off and puts it on his desk along with his pens, pencils, rubbers, rulers-who needs four rulers?? Where did he even get this all from?who needs this many art supplies and aren't half of these markers dried out anyway??

He can't even be bothered to ask right now, he unceremoniously dumps all of it back on the desk without further question, he picks up Mikey's phone, hoping that he was just listening to music and not staring at that it, would be awful for his eyes. But when he picks it up however he's not greeted with music, but a comic book. And not just any comic book, he notices belatedly,but his favourite.

Jupiter Jim and the eight giant dragons of evil why would he be reading that?

Leo blinks a few times, a bit confused to say the least, before he finally glances down at the sketchbook in his hands.

And sees and exact replica of the page but in pencil.

And then it clicks. everything clicks.

holy shit, Mikey is trying to recreate his favourite comic book. But there's no way??

Now Leo doesn't know much about art, he half listens to info dumps about trashy a.i art, and the hatred that Mikey has for wearing gas masks (against solid protests from himself, Raph and Donnie to do so otherwise

But Leo knows that making a comic book is *hard*, harder and more time consuming that it has any right to be, even for a good artist like Mikey-and he would know! He tried making his own when he was like 12 only to get frustrated an angry 2 minutes in, and quit (he hasn't tried since).

And secondly, how did he even realize he had wanted the real version of a comic anyway? He hadn't *asked* for one, hadn't hinted at wanting it. He swore Mikey was actually a fucking mind reader sometimes, maybe this was just another "mystic warrior thing" he doesn't get.

And then, the sudden, very violent urge to cry swamps him. Even if Mikey never finishes this project never gives it to him, he still *wanted* to.

The fact is, that Mikey, with injured arms, and a hundred other more intersting and wonderful projects more worth his time, is going to attempt to make a comic for *him* and it sort of makes Leo want to cry. It *does* make him cry.

He holds the sketchbook close to his plastron and let's the tears slip down his face. He doenst know what he'd do without his family, without Mikey, he doesn't know what he's Done to deserve the endless patience and comfort that his brothers provide.

He leaves after a minute or two, when the tears on his face stop flowing, leaving sticky trails down his face, and his breathing is no longer raggid from the crying. He leaves the sketchbook and phone where they are, closed and turned off.

Hopefully Mikey will think it was another brother that came in and fixed this all up for him. Or maybe he'll simply belive he cleaned up and put himself to bed and just doesn't remember.

"goodnight little brother, get a good rest."

_____~roughly 2 weeks later~________

Mikey took a deep breathe in, and a deep breathe out. His head was starting to ache from lying it down on his desk for so long, he had decided to take a short break from drawing Leo's comic a while ago, much to his disdain. Although he can't say specifically, since everything in his head feels like molasses, and he's to busy concentrating on the never ending pain in his hands to think about it for to long.

It feels almost nauseating. His body thrumming uncomfortable, the itchy, fiery energy getting stronger, hands shaking more fiercely until it reaches its peak, and his while body seizes up and let's go.

(Its his own fault, this doesn't happen unless he pushes himself to hard. Apparently 6 hours straight of art is not good for you.

Noted.)

He *wants* to pick his head up, he *wants* to carry on drawing, he *wants* to be able to do this for Leo, but he just *can't*. He's useless, his own body is betraying itself, consuming itself in and endless mystic well of power that it itself created, and Mikey can't do anything but sit here and whimper in the dark.

He feels pathetic, he doesn't even know how long it will last. The longest period was 6 hours, which is the closest to living hell he's ever been, beside watching Leo throw himself into the prison dimention, followed closely in second by opening the actual portal itself.

He can't even move enough to grab his phone and call his brothers, he can't scream or talk. So he sits there, and cries and sobs and hiccups openly, and loudly, praying that *someone* will hear him. Thankfully but no sooner than he had started crying, had the small sliver of light coming through his door begun to get bigger, and his train cart door began to open.

".... Angelo?."

It was donnie.

*Thank god.*

His voice was still failing him, unable to speak but overwhelmed with the desire to say *something*, he just cried harder.

"woah woah woah! Okay okay Angelo I'm right here okay? Your safe, your fine." he crouched down by the desk so he was closer to Mikey's face "I'm... I'm gonna pick you up now okay Angleo? If I end up hurting you in any way just uh chirp okay?"

Donnie put an arm underneath his legs and shell, and lifted him up into a bridal carry, pausing slightly to listen for the sound of Mikey's distressed chirp, before continuing forward towards his door. Mikey slumps and closes his eyes, pressing his warm face into Donnie's cool arm. He let's out a sigh of content, no longer cramped from being stuck in a stiff and awkward position, for who knows how long.

Donnie sighs,in that long suffering kind of way he always does when his family has done something stupid, but Mikey doesn't bother to open his eyes to see what face he makes.

Mikey thinks he must have fallen asleep at some point, because when he's next aware, he's being handed off to a very worried looking Raph.

"hey big man sorry to wake you up, you can carry on cuddling with Dee in a minute he just needs to do somthing okay?" Raph is smiling down at him and holds him just a little tighter.

Mikey nods, and rubs his eyes turning his head so he can look at the scene in front of him, (his hands barely even hurt anymore, maybe they rubbed that special cream that Draxum made on them) they're in the TV room now, illuminated by the projection screen paused hlaf way through on one of Leo's favourite movies, him and Donnie are placing various pillows and blankets on the floor.

Leo is whispering something to his twin in a frantic, worried, hushed tone that Mikey is to tired to parse right now.

But Donnie looks at Mikey for a fraction of a second, before rolling his eyes affectionately and placing down the last of the pillows, (they were probably talking about him, he hopes he isn't barred from making breakfast tommorow though, he wanted to make omelettes) huffing, when Raph unceremoniously flops down on top of them shell first, Mikey still being held against his plastron. Raph opens up his arms and Leo snuggles right up beside him, whilst Donnie snuggles into Raph's other side.

Mikey can feel himself start to drift off into comfortable sleep again, when he feels a familiar finger rudely poke him in the face. He opens his eyes just barely to see a familiar blue mask and worried brown eyes peering back at him.

"sorry mi hermano this'll be quick, I promise, what were you doing that caused your arms to flare up so badly?"

Mikey feels annoyed that he's being kept up for this but sighs and concedes "mmmmm I was drawing for a really long time.... and i didn't take any breaks..." he mumbles, shutting his eyes again, falling faster into darkness this time.

"oh....." Leo sighs softly "your to nice for you own good little brother..." Mikey barely even registers his brother's voice anymore, to busy falling asleep to even notice it.

_________________________________

Mikey grins and closes the comic book, he holds it out in front of him looking at all his hard work.

Its done. It's finally done. It took him a month of non stop drawing almost every day to do it.

But he did it.

He puts the Comic down, just to spin around his room and kick his legs, orange flecks of mystic trailing behind his flapping arms.

__________________________

"Oh Leoooooooo~," he sang, sliding into the living room hiding the comic behind his back, and directly away from the view of his older brother "guess what."

"What?"

"I said guess."

"....Mikey are you being serious right now?"

"Yuppers!"

Leo threw his head back and sighed "you know I may sound like Donnie right now, but there are an infinite amount of things to guess from so you may have to give me a hint."

"okay! So I got you gift, buuuuuut you have to guess what it is."

Leo's back straightens and he stares at Mikey with much more exitement "wait are you being serious? You got me a gift?"

"Yeah haha I did, would you like me to just give it to you?" he feels nervous now, he's not really sure he's ready for this, but is going to do it anyway against his own better judgement.

"Uhm yes obviously?? Now gimme" Leo puts out his hands and makes a grabbing motion like an impatient child awaiting to be given something, it's clearly to lighten up the situations which Mikey is making weird with his nervousness.

"Pftttt okay okay here take it."

He walks over to Leo and passes him the comic praying that he likes it, Mikey does, he's so proud, but that means nothing if Leo doesnt like it.

Leo takes the comic and looks closer, his eyes widen when he realizes what it is he's holding, "oh my god Mikey did you *make* this?".

"mhm! I noticed you didn't have any physical copies of your comics and they can't be bought like anywhere, online or off, so I decided to make you one!"

Leo's hands tremble as he deftly turns each page oddly quiet.

Mikey watches as his face morphs into something warm and touched, his smile big and eyes watery-

Wait what?!?

A big fat tear slips down Leo's face without a hand coming to wipe it away and Mikey stands there stunned.

He's watched Leo cry many MANY MANY times, whether it be due to a scraped knee, or a broken scateboard when they were little or due to nightmares over the Kraang, Mikey's seen it all. Him and Leo have always cried the most. But he's never seen Leo cry over something as simple and as meaningless as a comic book before.

"Mikes, did you *make* this for me?" his voice wobbles as he speaks, a disbelieving smile still stretched across his face, still holding the book and flipping through its pages slowly and carefully, scanning each page like he hadn't read them all a million times before, like they were something new, something precious.

Mikey feels slightly vulnerable and embarrassed when Leo looks up at him, remembering that there are definitley some really awfully drawn pages in there, nights where his hands wouldn't stop shaking, or the pose was just to difficult and seeing him cry over it is a bit worrying.

Mikey looks at the corner of the room, man he should really do some dusting, "um, yeah, sorry by the way, some of them are really badly drawn, a-and i know you've already read it a million times so it's really not that goo-"

Leo cuts him off by grabbing the strap around his shell and pulling him down onto the been bag into a 10/10, ultimate crushing big brother hug.

Mikey doesn't fight it these hugs are the *best* hugs.

"mikey- i cant-*holy fuck*, this is like, the nicest and most thoughtful gift i have *ever* been given the fact you even noticed I missed my comics makes me want to hide in my shell and cry so hard my tear ducts will explode, don't you *ever* apologise ok?"

Mikey felt HIMSELF tear up.

Your artwork is incredible and so so beautiful, Leo sniffs and Mikey feels so happy, (he's pretty sure his arms are glowing, not that he can see from where his snout is buried in Leo's shoulder) "i can't believe you put in the effort even with your hands to make a whole comic book just to make me feel better, that must have taken forever."

"I'm-im-yeah, I'm so glad you it Leo."

They stay like that for far to long, sitting on a bean bag that is way to small to fit them both, laughing and chatting and crying whilst look through the comic.

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It's not his old comic book, with ink smudged and faded colours, with nights spent rereading and loving. cherished, on its spot on the shelf, with worn edges and a broken spine. It's not the gift he was given when he was 9, a start of a long love for the franchise, and hours in the further of areas of the sewers to find more of them.

It's not any of that but it's something *more*.

Becasue it's *Mickey*.

It's his little brothers drawing, its long nights spent caring about him, and hope to make him just a tiny bit happier.

It's work, and shaking arms and passion. It's family and love and warmth, it's sleepless nights and something handcrafted, and Leo can see it etched into every line of the page. It's not old like it used to be, it's something wonderful, and something new, it's a gift, and every single line is different now because the adoration Mikey has for all of his brothers is radiating out of them.

Each mistake on the page is another mark of Mikey, another mark of his gift and it's meaning.

He can't ever get back what he's lost, he'll never be the same as he was, but he thinks now, whilst looking at the pages softly, this is maybe just a little bit better, just a little but more exciting and new.

Mikey will never know what this means to Leo, because to him, this is just another "small" act of kindness the same as he'd do for anyone.

And although Leo would never admit it, it makes everything he's been through just a little more smaller, and a little less scary, because if something this good can happen out of somthing so miserable? then maybe the future won't be so awful after all, and maybe it never was, his brothers will always be there for him, and he can't believe he ever doubted them in the first place.

_________________________________________

Please remember the idea for this fic was written by turtleblogatlast

And here's the the original little script they wrote!!! Read original script

Goooooood hahaha so uhm I hope you like it!! (Also sorry this became a little more Mikey centric than it was supposed to be I am a Mikey kinnie and tend to make everything about him😭)

I absolutely love your writing and the things you do so just think of this as a thankyou gift for being so cool!

I wanted to sprinkle more of your headcannon in haha but I didn't know where to start or when I could mention them sorry:(

Also apologies for all my head cannons I could help myself

"I will make this fic purely for someone else and won't add my own headcannons!......... F*ck."