#can't believe this is the last one!! this was such a nourishing thing to put together -- i hope it nourished some of you <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[blessedarethebinarybreakers]

God of Abundant Life, thank you for the chance to lift our communal prayers to you this month.

Continue to gather us, to ignite us with a passion to pursue justice, love kindness, and walk — or roll, sit, or recline — humbly with you.

[seafoamreadings]

week of august 25th, 2024

these are written predominantly for the *rising* signs but they are also intuitively "channeled" enough that they should work for any dominant energy you have! (try your sun if you don't know rising, or more advanced readers can try moon, anywhere you have a stellium, etc and see what works best for you!)

aries: mercury going direct at last in leo in just a few days here will likely be fun for you and i don't even mean that sarcastically. something that got put on hold in the last few weeks gets new traction. by the end of the week uranus stations retrograde, though, so with that most likely in your second house, avoid excessive spending or burning through resources you aren't totally sure about.

taurus: while you can expect some (likely not unpleasant) surprises this week you can also expect them to be fickle or to have unseen strings attached. it's not a bad idea to accept or pursue them if you like them, but don't get too wrapped up in it all. things are fleeting. it's not an easy energy for a steady and stalwart taurean to grasp but, frankly, you're not supposed to grasp it.

gemini: the big news of the week for you is the end of your ruling planet's retrograde. things do not return to normal or comfortable just yet, due to the shadow period that follows, but this is the end of the actual retrograde phase and especially from the end of the week, things should start to get easier and less snafus ensue.

cancerians: this week may well bring new life into any stale or stagnant relationships or friendship situations. mercury stations direct in your second house also. take stock of what resources you have and what is lacking, and use what you have (or don't use what you don't have!) accordingly.

leo: unexpected opportunities arise this week. they may be quite startling and weird but if you feel drawn to them and it's within your means at all, you should take them, especially towards the beginning of this week. by the end of the week, uranus retrograde may have them a little bit less fruitful, or perhaps simply more difficult, but you can trust your best judgment even then. too much input from others is not advised.

virgo: the importance of ceres to your sign should not be understated. this week she goes direct in capricorn just as uranus goes retrograde in taurus. while they don't perfect the grand trine it's truly well-connected earth vibes for you. even inconveniences turn out to work in your favor. nourish yourself carefully and lovingly.

libra: venus coming home to your sign should help provide some comfort if times have been trying and even if they haven't, it's auspicious for you. meanwhile, uranian activity continues so be very careful who you share your resources (money, time, energy?) with.

scorpio: take care of your personal needs first of course, but then as much as you are able to, be in your local community and neighborhood. clean up a little trash, do a little volunteer work, help a neighbor out, etc. with the current activity this is the auspicious way to keep things going as smooth as possible. at minimum, it makes you look good, but best if you do it from the heart and not for status alone. this can help you cope with any relationship drama, btw.

sagittarius: venus into libra can have you in soap opera mode, turning friends into lovers and vice versa left and right. meanwhile mercury direct again in leo fires up your thirst for the truth, philosophically and spiritually. there's no reason you can't lean into both vibes.

capricorn: ceres goes direct in your sign this week and, believe it or not, one of the first events of *next* week is the retrograding ingress of pluto back into the extremes of your sign for the last time in any of our lifetimes. let ceres vibes help you nurture yourself as you prefer for any final demolitions caused by the king of the underworld.

aquarius: the air of churning and muckraking is still afoot. but at least some of it is in a pleasant manner thanks to venus. generally the muddiness of such upheaval is not so pleasant, but sometimes it does turn up trinkets from the bottom of the sea.

pisces: friends may come and go but your inner world is forever. without getting lost in the dream state, pay attention to it and respect and honor it. your dream life is just as real as your waking life. of course, you don't need to hear it from me, you're the expert. but in a time in a world where people are inclined to be blind to the magic around them, don't lose your contact with it too and don't let them convince you it's frivolous.

[florencetypemaniacs]

Happy Birthday, Margaret

૮₍ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა FLUFF Alphabet ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა

A | attention: How much attention do they want in the relationship?

So much! Well, at first, it would be a little too much for her with her shy nature, but as your relationship starts to bloom, she will want you to give her attention, although I think her main focus would be giving you attention.

B | Baby: Would they want a family?

She would love to have a baby with you. She always wanted to be a mother, however. Margaret would understand if that was something you didn't want. I do think her need to care for something would come out in other ways, maybe by helping at a youth center.

C | Cuddle: What do they like when they cuddle with you?

Margaret is a cuddle monster. Always want you in her arms, or the other way around.

D | dates: What are dates with them like? What do they like to do?

At the start, I could see her being nervous about every little detail, but as you both grow together, she puts together more simple date ideas that you both enjoy. Margaret would love baking together or going on a picnic (anything to do with food). 

E | equal: do they prefer to be more in control or laid-back in the relationship?

Margaret is very much okay with you taking the lead in the relationship, but she will start to freak out if there is a bump in the road. She doesn't want to lose you. 

F | fights: how do they handle fights?

She would be distraught and try to make it up to you any way she knew how. This is her first relationship, so she will need a little guidance and reassurance. 

G | gratitude: how grateful are they to have you? What do they think your relationship is worth in comparison to other things in their life?

Margaret views your relationship as one of the most important things in her life. She wants to keep, nourish, and care for it in the same way as she would a plant. She is terrified of ending your relationship because she believes it is worth not only sacrificing for but also living for.

H | honesty: Honesty: Are they honest with you? How important is honesty to them?

Super important. Communication is key, and Margaret wants to be the one you talk to when you have a problem because she wants to be the one to fix it. 

I | insight: how easy is it for them to read your mind and tell how you are feeling?

Oooo. This is hard. I don't think very well. Margaret second-guesses herself a lot, so you would have to be very clear, and while she might have an idea of how you are feeling, she is too scared to voice it.

J | Jealousy: What makes them jealous? What are they like when they’re jealous?

Margaret gets more insecure than jealous, and I think what would make her jealous is if you ignored her to focus on the other person, making her feel invisible. 

K | kisses: What are their kisses like? who kissed who first? where do they like to kiss you?

I can't say who kisses who because that will be all up to revealed. But Margaret's kisses are soft and sweet; her favorite place to kiss is your cheek. 

I | love language: what’s their favorite love language?

- Love to Perform: Physical Touch, Gift Giving, & Acts of Service 

- Love to Receive: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, and Physical Touch 

M | marriage: Would they want to get married? if you were to get married, who would take your last name? What would the marriage be like?

She is 100 percent on board with marriage. Margaret has dreamed about a big wedding since she was a little girl, so she has high hopes for her wedding day. Although she would love to take your last name, if you want to take hers, that would be okay with her. As long as you both love each other, she is okay. 

N | nicknames: would they use nicknames on you? Do they like it when you use nicknames for them?

It would be a blushing mess, but she was so happy. I could see her calling you French nicknames in private and public in a deep relationship. 

O | open: how long does it take for them to open up to you for the first time?

A while? Well, not with the whole truth because of circumstances, but she does open up faster than the other ROs. 

P | pda: thoughts on public displays of affection?

She is very much into G-rated public displays of affection, like holding your hand or giving you little pecks on the cheeks and lips, but she is very shy with more "raunchy" actions. 

Q | Quality time: what do they like to do when they’re with you? How affectionate are they behind closed doors?

Baking. Margaret loves baking, even if she is not the best at it, but she would love to bake or cook with you; making something together makes her go all fuzzy inside. Margaret is very affectionate behind closed doors and will often just hug you for no reason. 

R | romance: How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative? 

I think Margaret is very much a cliche romantic, living in a period where wooing someone was very important in courting. Giving you flowers or breakfast in bed. However, she is a nervous wreck, and I could see her being very awkward, but her heart is in the right place. 

S | sad: how would they cheer you up when you’re sad?

Margaret would just try to distract you with small gifts that mean something to her and you to try and lift your spirits. 

T | thrill: would they do any new things to spice up your relationship?

Margaret is way too shy, so you would have to make the first move for anything more than vanilla, but she is willing to try in a deep relationship. Margaret is more comfortable with a certain routine that you two will share, making her feel safe and warm. 

U | unwind :How do they like to unwind and relieve stress when with you?

Gardening. Margaret loves all her plant babies; something about watching them grow into beautiful blooms makes her feel relaxed. Sharing that with you will make her heart soar. 

V | vaunt: What are they proud of? Do they like to show you off?

Margaret is not proud of a lot of things that her family has done in the past and doesn't feel that she deserves praise, but she can't help but blush when people compliment her baking, plants, and healing abilities. 

W | wild card: random relationship headcanon!

Her favorite thing to do with you is Netflix and Cuddle, even buying all these soft blankets, which ends up with guys making a pillow fort one night and watching whatever you both could think of. 

X | exes: How would they handle situations with your exes? What are they like with their exes?

Margaret doesn't have any exes, so she is quite new to how to handle them. My poor baby wouldn't know what to do if she met your ex; she would try to be nice to them and hide her jealous and insecure nature. Margaret is just standing there awkwardly when you are talking to them, watching you both as she nervously fidgeted. 

Y | yearn: How will they cope when you’re away? What are they like when they reunite with you after being gone for so long?

Not very well. Once she is in love, she feels like she can't live without you. Margaret would try to distract herself with anything she could think of until she was with you again. And when she finally had you back in her arms, you would have to pry her out because she was going to hug you like a koala. 

Z | zzz: What do they like about sleeping with you? What are some habits they have?

She doesn't have any habits besides wanting to cuddle. Little spoon all the way! 

[defira85]

This is incredibly petty and pointless bitching about family stuff but I'm stressed and exhausted and it's making me miserable so I need to vent

So anyone who's followed me for more than 5 minutes knows I like to bake, yeah? Has seen my posts of my elaborate christmas cookie boxes or the multi-tier cakes I bake or the extravagance of my choc cherry brownie loaf and so on? Feeding people is important to me! I won't say it's my love language cause whatshisface was a weirdo christian fundamentalist so we don't believe in love languages but you know. I like to nourish! I want to cook people a big meal and have them feel loved and indulged!

My SIL is having her 40th birthday in May, and she wants everyone to come on a 4 day getaway which is just. I don't understand why certain parts of this family don't understand that people need to work (I do understand, the reason is money, this family has money and so they don't understand that normal people have Mon-Fri jobs that they can't just drop for a 4 day beach getaway for a birthday) but anyway, that's another rant

She's been asking people about the food, and people have been volunteering for certain meals and I've got my assigned meal planned out to the letter (a giant paella with fresh baked olive bread and patatas bravas with a mediterranean salad) and I asked her last night about desserts with the implication that I was asking her what cake she wanted for her birthday, because so far she's just put "icecream/fruit salad" on every meal

She answers "oh I've just got a brownie box mix we were going to make. Also a carrot cake box mix, we don't really need anything else"

Now I've tried to calm myself down by reminding myself that SIL really absolutely does not care about food. Not in the slightest. She doesn't understand about things tasting good, she just eats whats in front of her

But. But. I cook. I bake. I express love with my food. She KNOWS that. And I went to a lot of effort in November to make an EXQUISITE carrot cake for my MIL's birthday when we celebrated her life and the one year since her death, I worked so hard to make sure it was perfect, and she's just like

yeah here's a packet mix. Tastes the same.

Like, does she even care about any of the meals I make? Does she notice? Does what it expresses as a gesture of love mean anything?

I KNOW I'M OVERREACTING. I KNOW I AM. BUT I'M REALLY EXHAUSTED AND MISERABLE and it just hit me a lot harder than I was expecting it to. Just a slap in the face, you know? All the hard work I do, all the love I pour into it, it's just the same as a box she bought at the store and adds an egg to

/throws away the recipe for the salted caramel and macadamia monkey bread I was planning

[abracazabka]

You. 🫵 Top 5 Moments in The Karate Kid Novelization

OHHHHHOHOHOHO

so for anyone who wants to read a lot of bits and pieces of the Karate Kid novelization, click the read more bc I uhhh. Well I went kind of crazy on this ask. Sorry, friend lmfao

1. Well I made a post about it before but CAN'T FUCKING FIND IT. But anyway, you and I both know the top moment is when we see what goes through Daniel's head as Mr. Miyagi gives him a bonsai and urges him to picture a tree:

"He saw it. It stood, a cypress on a cliff by an ocean, beaten and shaped by the harsh wind and salt air. Its branches withstood the environment and reached bravely for nourishment and survival. It was lonely and beautiful" (Hiller 39-40).

I love this moment bc it resonates with the theme of healing yourself and obtaining strong roots through reaching for help and connection from other people, and not falling to anger, bitterness, etc. Wounds can be healed, y'know? And Daniel is stronger than he looks, and not alone anymore. (Also how you mentioned it coincidentally reminds you of the bonsai in KK3?? INSANE!!)

2. Next would be all the moments that clue you in to how kind and considerate Daniel is toward his mother. He has his pissy teenage boy moments, but he loves his mom so much, and wants a good life for both of them, even at the expense of himself. A couple examples:

[After he is beat by Johnny on the beach]

"'Oh, Daniel! What happened?'

Daniel wanted to tell her something she could believe. She had enough worries of her own and he didn't want her to have to worry about him, too" (18).

Very very sweet. But Daniel, she's your mother!! She will worry, and you gotta be honest </3

[After The Cobras ran him off the road]

"'I'm sorry doesn't help, Ma. I want to go home. I don't understand the rules here.'

'You know, hon. I'm not so sure I understand them myself. It's been a little rocky here for me, too, though I've made it through three days without getting a black eye.' Daniel caught the twinkle in her eye and smiled despite himself.

... 'Let's get you cleaned up and we'll see if we can't figure out the rules together.' She put her arm around Daniel's shoulders and they began to walk to the apartment together" (37).

I love this moment!!! Lucille lets Daniel know they are in this together. They are able to share their hardship with one another, and bounce back from it not just to soldier on, but to be there for each other!!

3. Honestly, I thought it was cheesey at first, but from a literary standpoint, the Garden of Eden allusion/motif. Some examples:

[At first he sarcastically/bitterly thinks of "the Garden of Eden" his mother calls California. This is as he ponders about insecurities about Ali, then distracts himself with thoughts of his tree.]

"He thought of his bonsai tree and how he had pruned it and clipped it so that it almost looked like the picture in his mind ー the one thing that flourished in this Garden of Eden" (44).

I love the way he thinks back to his bonsai and what Mr. Miyagi has given him, but this passage is kind of saddening as much as it scratches my brain

[The last line of the novel presents the phrase very differently (positively). It is pretty cheesy, but it's grown on me. Context within the quote.]

"How can I go wrong, he thought, with a terrific man like Mr. Miyagi for a friend, the most beautiful ... girlfriend ... a mother who will spring for lobsters every time I win the All Valley ...

A guy could really turn on to a Garden of Eden like this" (131).

I'm happy for him! This is how the ending should always be! The joy!!

4. Bobby's moments make me fucking INSANE. I think it was handled pretty well, all things considered. So: Bobby Brown renouncing Cobra Kai.

[After being commanded by Kreese to take Daniel out of commission, then beginning his match with Daniel]

"Bobby stood still, his eyes locked with Kreese's. Daniel couldn't understand what was happening as he observed a battle of wills between Bobby and Kreese ...

Once again [Bobby's] eyes shifted to Kreese, then back to Daniel ...

From the stretcher, [Daniel] watched Bobby exit the ring to catcalls from the audience. Bobby stopped just long enough to untie and discard his belt at Kreese's feet and walk out, shattered.

The Cobra, it seemed, could be poisoned by its own venom" (119-120).

THE COBRA POISONED BY ITS OWN VENOM? SHATTERED??? yeah I'm insane about this. Bobby...Bobby...

5. Lastly, bc who cares about these gay bitches (me, I do), all the moments that could be associated with lawrusso if you squint:

"As their eyes measured each other, Johnny's body moved, catlike, into a karate stance ...

Johnny and his gang mounted their dirt bikes" (16).

Cat-like, huh...mounted you say...this is some strange description, Daniel

"[Ali] smiled at him one more time and rushed off, almost bumping into Johnny. Daniel realized that Johnny had witnessed his entire conversation with Ali" (20-21).

Why are you so close, so transfixed, Johnny...

"Calmly, [Daniel] smeared the gob of blueberry gunk on Johnny's shirt. Mayhem erupted" (30) ...

"Johnny just stared at him ... Silently, Johnny brushed Daniel's bicycle to the limit" (34).

:( The bullying moments ... PIE!!! PIE!!! I love what a little shit Daniel is there. This moment doesn't have the sensuality of the deleted scene though. But I do like Johnny's STARE in the next part

"So, he learned Johnny's class schedule and avoided him" (43).

I get it but also. Hmm. Okay...🏳️‍🌈

"Johnny stood in front of him, soaking wet. He put his hands on his hips" (49).

This is just hilarious cuz a lot of us like to call Johnny a Wet Beast for Daniel. Also hands on his hips is just a funny and endearing moment, what a shit lol

"Daniel carefully evaded Johnny's grasp, but realized it was going to be a losing battle. Johnny was bigger" (66-67).

THE EMPHASIS...HUH. I GET IT. BUT ALSO. OKAY...🏳️‍🌈

"For there, on the dance floor, was Ali ー dancing with Johnny. Johnny's eyes met Daniel's" (88).

Gayass

"He'd have to ... meet Johnny at the tournament, completing the battle they'd begun that first day on the beach" (96) ...

[After Daniel returns to the arena, and Johnny meets his eyes] "Daniel wondered for an instant if there was a slight flicker of relief in those stony eyes, but rejected the thought" (123) ...

"Daniel and Johnny circled, each looking for a point of attack, each oblivious to the rest of the rest of the world" (124).

The tournament! I love the phrases...the battle that begun on the beach...Johnny's recognition of and buried hope for Daniel...their eyes only for each other, for this fight...

[After the tournament] "Daniel had won the crowd's respect; he'd won Johnny's respect; most important, however, he'd won his own self-respect" (125) ...

"Finally, Daniel stood next to Johnny. They bowed. Their eyes met in genuine respect" (126).

I love Daniel's journey toward his self-respect, that is so important to me. But also Johnny's HEHEH....Cobra Kai take notes.

ANYWAY UH YEAH. THERE YOU GO. THIS LITERALLY TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR (PROBABLY MORE). LOL...

[hecula-propaganda]

Every interaction between Hector and Dracula

or the two's feelings for each other :)

Prelude to Revenge

A place to cling to...

The ability to rebel and blaspheme against the Divine Providence Is accepted without blame A place where we are allowed to exist.

[We] respectfully obeyed, to cling to.

Why yes, I am perfectly normal about Hector and Isaac clinging onto Dracula because he's the only thing they have in this world :')

I'm not sure if Hector is speaking also on Isaac's behalf or only for himself, but I choose to believe it's the former because it makes sense.

But what's important here is that they are in the same position. It's easy to imagine Isaac, irrationally loyal and perpetually insecure, latching onto Dracula. But even Hector, in his icy pride, did the same :) he cared. Just not to the point of self-nullification.

And also look at that. Dracula gave a piece of his power to Hector. In the game itself, Zead says that the Devil Forgemasters are "suffused" in his magic (or "Devil Forgemasters are always with my Master's power" in Japanese). Part of Dracula is literally in them.

“What did he wish from me, that he even rebelled…? Unforgiveness is my nature. The more precious things are, the more they resist and are lost…”

I've spent enough words talking about that one word, 惜しい :)

Of course, this happens right after this lovely scene:

“Please, I beg of you I am human too!”

“My nourishment is human life and mistakes. I will disappear when humans perish…”

There’s no need for me to be chased away The disposal of my body Can’t even happen here... Anywhere...

So, hm. First you gravely injure your rebellious general without even listening to his concerns, then you wonder why your precious thing doesn't love you anymore. I don't think Kojima intended for him to look like a stereotypical abuser, but that's the vibes I get. it doesn't help that this is more or less his attitude with Alucard...

It is said that my former master was destroyed by the wielder of the holy whip. However, the devastation of the human world will not end...

Nothing major, just for completion's sake. This is the only time, as far as we know, that Hector calls Dracula his "master".

Media Factory manga

Unlike with the PtR manga, I need to talk about Isaac here, because he can't be separated from either Hector or Dracula.

i swear that the mf manga is a long long draactor propaganda, the love triangle here is insane

Isaac is the one who warned Dracula of Trevor, and the one who begged him to be sent to kill the Belmont. And yet...

Hector was sent instead. Hector was the one deemed worthy of facing such a big threat. Look at Isaac's eyes. He's so not happy about this blow to his fragile sense of self-esteem.

And Dracula once again puts Hector over Isaac, by ignoring his concerns, ordering him to go find the lost General and leaving himself unprotected well technically there's death but no one mentions him here. Even Isaac's own underlings aren't so convinced by the Lord's actions, and they chalk it up to sheer favoritism, which triggers poor Isaac. Everyone knows that Hector is Dracula's specialest boy :)

Of course, this line matters much more in Japanese:

In case you're wondering, there exist other words that imply unfair favoritism and nothing more, such as 依怙贔屓.

Now, unlike with 惜しい, it's a third party that uses 可愛がる. But then this means that Isaac's underlings were sitting there, joking that Dracula loves his Hector so very much... within Isaac's earshot. Bro. No wonder he found the first excuse to kill them off 😂

I said enough about this nightmare in this post. It's hard to judge where memories end and inner feelings begin, but I do believe this has actually happened, and I chose to interpret this scene as Dracula leaving Hector behind, a display of both humiliation and favoritism.

(I also choose to believe that this episode happened some time before Dracula ordered Hector to kill Trevor. Ah, if only Isaac knew...)

Kinda interesting that Hector's last thought as he's about to die isn't for Isaac, but for Dracula :) could it be the power of the Curse seeping inside him? oh don't worry honey, this is far from the last parallel you two have...

Nothing major, but once again confirmation that Hector "got closer to Dracula" than Isaac did. Whatever that means, beyond the acts of favoritism we have seen...

When he's sealing away his dark powers, made strong by Rosaly's love (the proof of which he's holding in hand), his mind goes to Dracula again. I'm still emotional over this. He felt joy at serving Dracula, at being "recognized and needed" :')

Curse of Darkness

Hector, who has spent the entire game calling all the men kisama (except for Zead, whom Hector trusted and so called omae), refers to Dracula as anata, a neutral-polite pronoun. Zead and Julia call Hector anata, and Isaac uses it for Dracula in PtR, which speaks of the amount of respect it can convey.

It is not your (あなた) place to judge the worth of humans.

However, his lack of any kind of honorific and body language convey disrespect. While he's not being aggressively antagonistic, he is not even remotely intimidated by him anymore. It's been three years since they've last seen each other, and Hector has changed immensely since then. Plus, at this point he's just too tired to give a single shit lol.

(in English, Hector calls him "Lord Dracula". Actually, Trevor is the only character who simply says "Dracula", but of the other characters, two are devoted to Dracula, and two might simply respect the Count's power. What is Hector's reason? Does he still respect his former master, to a point?)

I also love the way Hector humiliates Dracula as a last kick in the teeth. He uses his own Devil Forging powers to transform the curse. Look at the first pictures I posted here: that power was given to him by Dracula. Hector was the best student of the two. He is using Dracula's own power and teachings to free the world of his influence. He's not the only protagonist who defeats Dracula with his own powers, Shanoa did the same and it is poignant in its own way, but with Hector it simply is more personal.

(and, you know, you can steal his throne under his nose :P)

Dracula, of course, can humiliate Hector as well if the player isn't careful :)

yeah you know this was coming. Just sayin' that of all Belmonts and affiliates, Hector is the only one that he attacks like this. Bet that curse tastes good.

[stargazer-sims]

Journal Entry #55 (part one)

Journal Entry #54 // STORY INDEX

Victor

Let me tell you, I think I've had enough stress for this week.

Okay, so I know it's only been a few days since my last update, but stuff has happened. A lot of stuff, actually, and I need to unpack all of it somewhere, so here we are.

Exactly as I predicted, and probably to no one's surprise, Yuri did end up in the hospital again.

A healthy and fit person might be able to go a week or more without food, but somebody whose health is as fragile as Yuri's can't. His body has practically zero reserves, and after a handful of days without eating, it was obvious he was getting weaker and more unwell.

Believe me, I tried everything I could think of to get some nourishment into him, but he wasn't having it. I was getting really worried, and when he woke up the day before yesterday with a fever, it might not be overstating it to say I panicked. I suggested that we should go back to the hospital because I didn't know what else I could do for him, and what really scared me was that he agreed without a debate.

At the urgent care clinic, the doctor who saw him was the same one who'd taken care of him last time, Dr. Shibazaki. She remembered him, and after taking one look at his medical records on the computer, decided on the spot that she'd admit him.

By some weird coincidence, his room turned out to be the same one he'd occupied during his previous stay. It wasn't bad, as far as hospital rooms go. The colour of the walls reminded me of a clear September sky, and there was a window so we could look out at the real sky if we wanted to. During Yuri's last stay, we'd kept the curtain closed most of the time, but I opened it this time to let some sunlight in.

"I'm glad I'm in this room again," Yuri commented as he sat on the bed and changed into pyjamas. "Not really glad, but... you know. I like familiarity."

"I know what you mean," I said. "I'd rather you didn't need to be here, but it is a comfortable room."

"As comfortable as hospital rooms get," he said. "Sorry I'm being so much trouble. Again."

I wanted to tell him he didn't need to apologize, but instead I just said, "Never mind. You're worth the trouble."

I did my best to tuck him into bed with my one good arm, and then I climbed up to snuggle with him. That, at least, was a vast improvement from before. He'd been connected to too much stuff and I'd had both arms encased in Fiberglas, so awkward hospital bed cuddles had been totally off the agenda.

Yuri had only been settled in his room for about half an hour when his specialist turned up. I'm sure we've mentioned her before, but just in case you don't recall, her name is Espérance Kasongo and she's a Canadian like me, but I don't think Canada is her country of origin. Her first language is French, so she has an interesting accent when she speaks Japanese. She speaks English too, though, and that's the language she seems to prefer using with Yuri and me.

Dr. Kasongo is a gastroenterologist — a digestive system doctor, for those of you who don't like big words — and she's been seeing Yuri for about five years now. He likes her a lot more than he liked his previous gastroenterologist, probably because she's gentle with him and treats him with empathy, like a whole person instead of just a vessel for a diseased body part.

Dr. Kasongo is usually gentle with me as well, but at the hospital the other day, I wasn't feeling it. The empathy was still there, but I recognize tough love when I see it, and she definitely wasn't going easy on me.

To be fair to her, she wasn't wrong. She made valid points, and I have no problem acknowledging I needed her to draw my attention to some things. I mean, most of what she said was stuff I already knew but didn't put into perspective until somebody else said it aloud.

After examining Yuri and reviewing the notes Dr. Shibazaki had made, Dr. Kasongo's conclusion was that he was showing all the signs of malnutrition. That didn't really shock me at all. I'm not a medical professional yet, but I'd kinda suspected it for a while.

The doctor said she was going to request bloodwork and some other tests. Yuri didn't seem thrilled about it, but he didn't comment on it like he usually does. He just nodded and said it was fine. I think that worried me more than anything, as strange as it may sound.

Once she'd finished poking and prodding him, Dr. Kasongo sat us both down for a serious talk. She didn't ease into it, either

She led with, "This is very concerning, Yuri. I discharged you on the understanding that you were going to follow the food plan the nutritionist gave you. Now, here you are, back again."

"Here I am," Yuri echoed lamely.

"Can you tell me about what you've been eating?"

He glanced at me, and his expression was one of desperation. Taking pity on him, I said, "We started off okay, but the food plan was a lot, and—"

"Excuse me." The doctor cut me off with a stern look. "I have questions later for you. Right now, I'm asking Yuri."

"I... haven't really been eating much," Yuri told her. "Water. Soy milk. I think I had grape juice yesterday or the day before."

She shook her head. "That is not eating. When was the last time you had solid food?"

"Maybe four days ago?"

"And what was it?"

"Rice."

"Were you having trouble keeping food down?" she asked. "Or was it something else?"

"Something else," Yuri said.

"Do you think you can tell me about it?"

"One of our friends was helping us," he said. "He kept making me feed myself."

The doctor made a noncommittal humming sound. "I see."

"It was stressful," Yuri went on. "I told him I couldn't do it, that it was giving me a lot of anxiety. I don't like eating. I don't like touching food, and sometimes I don't even like looking at food. Having to feed myself while somebody sat there watching to make sure I did it was too much."

"I see," she said again. "If your friend was encouraging you to feed yourself, am I to infer that you were not feeding yourself before?”

“Yes,” he said.

“Somebody else was feeding you?"

"Yes.”

Dr. Kasongo shifted her attention to me. "Victor, were you feeding him?"

"Yeah," I confessed. "I mean, not too much lately, because of my arms, but..." I gestured vaguely with the hand that still had a cast on it. "But... yeah. Me and his parents. It's just easier for everyone that way."

"And how is it easier?" she inquired.

"Because he needs to eat, and it's too hard to watch him struggle with it, especially when he's really sick,"

"So, I'm hearing that it's easier for you if you feed him."

"I... guess so?" I said. "But, it's easier for him too."

"Is it?" she asked. "Yuri, how do you feel when someone feeds you? Does that make it easier for you to eat?"

Yuri fidgeted with the edge of his blanket and looked as though he was attempting to decide on the best way to answer. After several seconds, he ventured, "I suppose it does, in a way. There's less to think about if I don't have to handle the utensils myself, but I still don't like eating."

"Does it produce less anxiety when someone feeds you?" the doctor inquired.

"Anxiety about eating? Yes, a little less, but then I’m anxious about creating too much work for Victor or my mother."

"So, clearly that is not the solution." Dr. Kasongo leaned back in her chair, and seemed to ponder for a moment before she continued. "I may have a better one. Yuri, how would you feel about doing something called nutrition rehabilitation?"

"What's that?" I hadn't meant to speak before Yuri got the chance to answer, but the phrase itself intrigued me and I was immediately curious.

"It's a kind of therapy," the doctor said. "Patients work closely with their doctor and a nutritionist and sometimes a psychologist or psychiarist to develop better nutrition and eating strategies, and to help them have a healthier relationship with food. We use it a lot with patients who have eating disorders, mental health concerns that affect their eating, and of course patients with long-term and chronic illnesses."

Yuri didn't seem happy about this suggestion. "You want me to see a therapist?"

"I want to get you back to where you were last summer," she told him. "I'd like to see you at a healthy weight, with a proper sleep schedule and meal routine, and with enough energy to exercise and work and enjoy your life."

"That'd be great, wouldn't it?" I added. "We had a lot of fun last summer. Remember the rock climbing?"

"Yeah," Yuri said.

“What was your favourite thing about last summer?”

“Going to the Festival of Snow with your mother,” he said. “We were out all day.”

“Ideally, I would like to see you be able to have full days out this summer as well,” said the doctor. "Is that a goal you'd be willing to work toward? Eating independently and stabilizing your routine, and getting back some stamina?"

"I suppose so," he said.

I recalled the conversation between Yuri and his mother. She'd talked about goals too. Yuri hadn't been particularly amenable to goal-setting that day, but now it seemed he might be coming around to it.

"You will have to participate too, Victor," Dr. Kasongo said. "I recognize that you want to help, and I know you've already established some good habits, but there are more changes needed."

“Like what?” I asked.

She looked me straight in the eyes. "No more feeding, for a start. I'm quite serious about that. There can be no exceptions. It may be a difficult adjustment for you, but I think you can see that it isn't helpful to Yuri's recovery."

"Yes, I think I'm seeing that now," I said.

"And no more empty carbohydrates. I take it you are the one who prepares the meals?"

"Yeah."

"You know grape juice is not a meal."

"I know," I said.

"Protein. Healthy fats. Low-fibre fruit and vegetables. Good carbohydrates. I know you know about all those things," she said. "We need to get back on track, and you'll play an important role in that."

"I'll do my best," I promised.

"Excellent," said the doctor. "I think it would also be a good idea for you to attend some sessions with the nutritionist along with Yuri. With your background, you may be more well-informed about health and nutrition than most caregivers, but there's still quite a lot you can learn about the topic in general and, I dare say, about Yuri's needs in particular."

I nodded. "Okay."

"Yuri, you will need to be accountable for yourself as well," she continued. "Just because Victor has the responsibility of planning and preparing meals, that doesn't mean you can let him manage everything. The nutritionist will work with you and teach you how to make good decisions about eating, and I expect you to participate in the meal planning and take control of your own food intake at some point."

"Are you going to check up on me?" Yuri asked, and it was difficult to determine from his tone if he wanted her to or if he didn't. It could've been, 'I'm scared I'll mess it up without support' or it could have been, 'I won't be able to get away with anything if you're monitoring me'. I couldn't tell. I hoped it was the first one, but I feared it was the second.

"Of course I'll be checking on you," she said. "And I've already referred you to an excellent colleague of mine, Dr. Daniel Kim at Willow Creek Regional Hospital. So, after you move, there'll be someone to check your progress straight away when you get there."

I hadn't realized she'd already made a referral. I hadn't told her we were moving, so I had to assume Yuri's parents had told her during his previous hospital stay. It was a good thing somebody had mentioned it, because I'll admit I'd been too preoccupied to think of lining up new doctors for Yuri back home.

"I didn't know international referrals were even a thing," I said.

"I'm not sure they are," said Dr. Kasongo. "Daniel and I were in medical school together, and we both chose the same specialty. We've been great friends for a long time and naturally we keep in touch. I asked him for a favour, and fortunately for you, he was glad to do it." She gave me a conspiratorial little grin. "Something for a fellow resident of the Creek."

I stared for a second. "You're from Willow Creek?"

"Not originally, but when my family immigrated to Canada and settled there, I was too young to remember living anywhere else before that. I always say I had my humble beginnings in the Willow Creek Trailer Park. Not doing so bad for myself now, am I?"

"If you don't mind my asking, how long have you been in Japan?"

"About fifteen years," she said. "A few more than you, I think."

"I've been here for two, but it's time to go home."

"I understand. You must follow the path that's right for you." She looked thoughtful for a few seconds, but quickly got back to business. "Do you have any questions about what we've discussed so far?"

"I do have one," I said. "I agree with the plan. It sounds like a good idea to me, but how long do you think it'll take? Like, this isn't an immediate solution to the problem of Yuri not being able to eat."

"How long it takes will depend largely on Yuri, and also on you," she replied. "You will need to support him throughout the process, regardless of how difficult it is or how long it may take. And Yuri, I want you to understand that no one expects you to get better within days or even a few weeks. If you make quick progress, that's good, but slow, steady progress is equally good, and no one will judge you for setbacks. This may not be a strictly linear process, and I want you both to be prepared for that."

"I understand," Yuri said. "But, I don't think you really answered Victor's question."

"About an immediate solution?" she said.

"Yeah," I said. "What are we supposed to do until this nutrition rehabilitation therapy kicks in and we start seeing results? Like, he's literally starving right now, and... yeah. Sorry. You don't need me to point that out, but..." I trailed off, stopping just short of telling her how freaked out I was about the way-too-real possibility of Yuri starving himself to death.

Yuri put a hand to his mouth, as if he were feeling nauseous. His voice came out slightly strained. "Please don't say meal replacement drinks."

"No meal replacement drinks today," the doctor assured him. "Because of your overall health at the moment, I think we should begin a nutrient infusion today, and once I have all the results from the tests we're going to do, we might discuss some form of enteral nutrition after that."

I felt my heart sink at hearing her words. "You mean a feeding tube."

That was the thing I'd hoped we could avoid. I know Yuri's parents were not entirely in favour of it either, and thought it was a drastic measure.

"Yes," she said. "Yuri, unless you're willing to start drinking meal replacements or eating some soft foods within the next few days, then that would be my recommendation."

Yuri shook his head. "I... I can't. Putting anything in my mouth right now is... I just can't."

"All right," Dr. Kasongo conceded. "Perhaps you'll feel differently about it tomorrow."

"I don't think so," Yuri said.

"I'll ask you in the morning," she told him. "For now, we'll get started with your bloodwork and antibody tests, and I'll do my best to arrange an imaging test for you for this afternoon so we can see what's going on inside you. Once we have all that, we can talk about next steps. Does that sound acceptable?"

"Yes," Yuri said.

"Victor?"

I could barely breathe around the lump that'd suddenly formed in my throat, but somehow I got out a strained, "Uh… yeah."

There wasn't any other suitable response I could give anyway.

[wotchergiorgia]

how do people meet? I don't know the answer - I only know that it happens and then you're fucked up. you meet people casually, randomly, only to find out a few seconds later that it wasn't random at all. it was fate - you now know it. you recognized the each other in the exact instant your eyes met for the first time. I could never forget that moment, the first impression I had of you, your messy hair, your funny smile and the way you simply sat next to me (as if God was guarding upon us and leading our souls next to one another). it was a moment, an instant, a second, and I knew it, just like I know what it feels like to have the sun shining and burning on your skin, to have the rain and then the hail falling on your head, making your hair wet. it was both a new and normal feeling, as it seemed to me that we've known the each other for ages. we just connected, in the purest and silliest and flirtiest way possible. and it was so obvious, so evident. everyone started talking about us the way people always gossip about others. but we didn't care, so much so that we almost didn't admit it - admit what was going on between us. and we opened our eyes, together, at the same time, discovering a whole new world made for us only. it was beautiful, because we were together and we forgot everything and everyone else. it firstly was slow, calm, probably terrifying, and then it became so brutally fast that we lost the count of the previous days, as if nothing existed before us and nothing was expected to exist after us. we were the beginning and the end of that little world of ours, we were the masters, the leaders and the destroyers. we perhaps were meant to be, because it was too weird for you as well as for me. I strongly and firmly believe in fate, you know it - I told you on our second date probably. I believe that nothing happens without a reason, that everyone you meet is there because of something you can't immediately explain. and I met you. you met me. we just met, our eyes did so. and I don't know how our future will look like, I don't know how long we're meant to last (though I hope forever), and probably I don't even care that much. currently, everything I'm interested in is to take care of you, to take care of me, of us; I want to believe in us, to support us and make it work out, for I know it can. I just want to nourish this, to let it grow for what it really is. I'm dedicated and I feel you're dedicated as well. I love our daily videocalls, even though they don't last that much. I love saying goodnight to you, sending you kisses and not wanting to hang up the phone. I love downloading the photos you send me, sending you audios only so that you can hear my voice. I love taking pictures for you and talking about you as much as I can. I love the little moments we're sharing on distance - like you shaving your face in the middle of the videocall last night. I love reminding us of the smallest things we shared together while we were not apart - the kind of things you said you love so much. I love reliving our first kiss, all of our hugs. I love reminding myself of the honesty we've put between us since the first day. I love recalling the evolution the two of us had in the past weeks, remembering it day by day, as if no time had passed at all.

but I'm sad sometimes, because I'd love to have a day marked on my calendar, counting down the days before our next meeting. I'd love to have you here, next to me, and just living you as we lived the each other for such a brief time. I'd love to be able to hug you whenever I can, wherever I want, to kiss you on the lips when you compliment me, when you say I'm the smartest, the prettiest, when you say I make you happy and better. because I have no logical or rational response to these and kisses say more than what I can't. I'd love to have our moments back, to come back where I actually belong - between your arms. and I'd love to show the whole world how these things can happen, especially in the most unexpected moments. because I want to prove to myself and the earth that we can make it work, that it can be the most beautiful thing we've ever experienced, we've ever seen.

[scandalous-lamb]

Red Flag? Yes! Please.

When you are in love or find a connection with someone. All you need is love! So pure and beautiful.

But what about the rest of us? What about those malicious, self-pity ones who need constant attention, validation, 24 × 7 love and who really believe that if he wanted he would!! What about those broken pieces, toxic lovers who don't know how to find their way towards peace and stability and all they look for is that fictional love they have grown up to ?? What about those whose love is never ending and would try to give their everything in a matter of days...why? Oh!! Because for them love is all about to give everything you have , the passionate ones who all look for that one person that they are willing to fill their lives with love, passion, support, appreciations and everything that they themselves are looking for!

What about those who are not willing to settle for any less ? And still find a way to ruin themselves again only to find that one person... We are looking for the perfect ones but also fall for any person who accepts us and promises us for never ending love which takes a dead end within months:-)

We are impatient, aggressive, moody, loving

We cry Alot but also can't see our favourite person shed a tear for us ... We are hopeless with our expectations but also will take the earth down just to make our favourite person happy... Are we really going to have a happy ending? Do we really deserve it??

The only person waiting for our love and also worthy of it is within us.

Yes!! We are the ones who deserve all the happiness and love that we are willing to give anyone.

Why Anyone but not us? If we look within ourselves, we will see that we are deprived of love, care , attention, appreciation and all things we try to give to our potential partners and later get disappointed. Guess what? Disappointed never occurs if it is dedicated to our self being:-)

I think, what we try to put others into self proclaimed red and green flags!! What actually needs nourishment and fixation ( yes, I am talking to you, "I can fix him" gurl!) is our own toxic behaviour. Ofcourse, we are the best and deserve the best !! Of course we don't want to settle for less and Of course! We can't lower our standards. But what about that little child within us who is apparently waiting for all the love, and nourishment and care and we know that the help ain't coming from any Prince charming dear!!

So dear, All self deprecated warriors!! Rise up!! No one is coming to help us , we ain't gonna be saved until we raise the flame up and fix our broken pieces! Trust me it will be the best gift to ourselves and will last for the rest of our lives. 💅🏻❤️

Here's to loving ourselves ❤️

[theangrypokemaniac]

Part Two

Best enjoyed with a cup of tea and some biscuits.

What I've explained so far is merely the intellectual portion of my hatred.

I don't think it's too much to ask for something to make sense and respect the history and laws of its own universe.

I haven't even started talking about my emotional reaction, which is somehow even more volcanic.

Little T.A.P. had what's known euphemistically as 'the artistic temperament' (nutter) and as such, was the most hardline, take-no-prisoners Rocketshipping extremist you'd ever have the misfortune to meet.

Worse than everyone on Tumblr, combined.

If anyone reading this considers themselves an obsessive, then no, mate, you're not.

You ain't seen nothing compared to my psychotic prime.

Glorious, it was.

I, but a simple, unassuming child, had a clear vision in life:

I will kill anyone who comes between you.

And I wasn't one o' these wishy-washy 'Oh there's nothing there now but it has potential' dishcloths, I was the Real Deal.

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! IT IS UNSPEAKABLY BEAUTIFUL TRUE LOVE OF MYTH AND POETS AND SONGS AND DREAMS!!!!!!

As far as I was concerned, it deserved to ranked alongside the great romances of history and legend.

• Romeo and Juliet

• Lancelot and Guinevere

• Anthony and Cleopatra

• Tristan and Isolde

• Victoria and Albert

• Orpheus and Eurydice

• Nicholas and Alexandra

• Hero and Leander

• Heloise and Abelard

• Pyramus and Thisbe

But, you know, without the death.

Besides which, I had no internet, and no friends who liked Pokémon, so I sincerely believed I was the only Rocketshipper in the world, and felt it more intensely on top of the rest as compensation.

And if you watch the early Indigo League in the view that Jessie and James aren't just destined to be in the future, but a fully-fledged, when-can-we-be-married legitimate couple, but it's never mentioned much because it's not relevant to the main story of Ash's quest, then it bloody works!

Suddenly you start thinking that maybe they want that one big heist so badly so they have enough to retire on and set up home together.

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

See talking about brings it all the bastard memories back and how they all died and led to nothing and now I want to sit in the corner and cry for the love that never lived.

Imagine me, in such a state, watching this utter abomination, matching Jessie with a man, and it's not James, and thinking I would ever take it well.

I don't understand how anyone could.

The best (THE BEST!) explanation I have is that these writers, now needing to string it out until the final moments of Johto, realized they'd taken the romance too far and wanted to hold back, but did it in the most cack-handed, clod-hopping fashion, undermining it so the whole ship collapsed about their ears, from which it's never really recovered.

This team, after all, thought Tracey was a good idea, so how much could we ever expect?

I'm not saying it died that day, as I still found things (the second film, by Shudo), but this was the first inkling I got that, well maybe it won't end happily after all.

And that hurt.

I should've seen it in Bad to the Bone, but this decision made the uneven writing far too plain, so how could I ever put my faith in it all turning out alright, if it's so dependent on an individual writer's whims?

What if the last-ever-episode was written by the wrong person, and it was left to his decision?

I dunno. Maybe the success of Pokémon went to their heads and drove 'em doolally, thinking they could coast serving up any old tripe.

Or they never wanted Rocketshipping to be so big, and deliberately set about a sabotage to put people off.

After all, the dearth of shipping content come Hoenn, the first region after Shudo left, can't really be explained otherwise.

And everything beyond that is the most paltry, blink-and-you'll-miss-it table scraps, like Jessie touches James back for half a second and the fandom flies out of its mind about it because they're so deprived of proper nourishment.

Then the supposed big stuff always comes with a catch that yet again chips away at their formerly established personalities, giving with one hand but robbing with the other.

I once heard someone defend XY063 (AND DON'T START ME ON THAT!!!) with talk of how:

For something shippy to happen, something anti-shippy needs to happen first.

We can't take one step forward before we've took a step back, so nothing ever moves.

In the present anyway. The canon gets ripped to ribbons.

Well who says it should?

'Cause I don't remember any price paid in the golden age of Rocketshipping. Back then it was just allowed to happen.

So what changed?

It can't only be they cut down on the romance to give it greater appeal to children, thus turning a bigger profit, as what do they think we were?

But here is where you start to see the almost brainless willingness to ignore all that's gone before.

Anything to keep it going, eh?

The entire reason Jessie and James was special is because it's two kids adrift from the worlds they were born into where no one understood them...until they met.

You go by the original canon, and it's them chancing upon their soulmate, realizing it, and never parting from that day.

They was only ever going to be the other in their lives, and they knew, and IT WAS SO BLOODY BEAUTIFUL!!!

The idea there's one person for everyone is the magic material woven into all the highest dreams of humanity, and it made Little T.A.P.'s tender heart sing hosannahs to its holiness.

Oh, but yer can forget that now, 'cause it's all gone to shit.

Turns out Jessie DID have one of them connections (honest!), but it was some other random knobhead named Darren who sniffs glue round the back of Netto.

Oh-ho, I bet Keats, Byron and Shelley are dusting off their immortal quills as we speak, keen as mustard to commit these wholesome snippets to paranormal paper.

Get this: she, apparently, knew Darren practically from the maternity ward, and spent her whole life with him, which is longer than her own parents lasted (supposing that bit of her past stayed the same, and I'm not sure it did, but anyway) meaning he's the biggest relationship of any kind she ever had, the one constant source of emotional support and companionship throughout her younger years, twinned with her as no one else ever could be (PFFT!!!) but he's never been bloody mentioned before!

And he's never seen again!

And he's got No Fookin' Eyes!

He's SO important, but he also doesn't matter at all, as them writers don't care no more.

James not only isn't The One, he ain't even The Two after Osstin got invented, and The Three is Darren part two, for Jessie's slummin' it for sloppy seconds.

James is well down the rankings of First Ever Love Evah in the modern configuration, which is nice.

And they just keep twisting the knife!

Pokémon Tech. is a school for Trainers, so first-year pupils must be at least ten, therefore I surmised that's how old Jessie and James were at their fateful encounter.

BUT she's evidently younger than ten here, so not only have they killed off her joint history with him, they've gotta mock it too by making out it couldn't even come close to the depth of dependency she had on ding-dong-merrily-on-high Daz, since they go way back!

As I said, Jessie's established past is oblitered by this scene, but so too is James's, and now he didn't abscond from school to join a bike gang, and I don't know where he comes from either because Holy Matrimony! is out too.

If I'm generous however, and overlook that, presuming the 'rich kid' theme still applies, there's no telling why, when or how he ran away, but I'll guess he was ten when he did, for that's the traditional age of majority here.

As the Training Daze version of events now takes precedent with everyone who isn't me, and those lauding it want to hammer yer into submission about how Duh Twenny Fyve, this makes a fifteen-year gap from James leaving home to swanning up at HQ, which is just an enormous black hole of cold emptiness.

Has there ever (EVER) been an episode dealing with what happened to him then, who he met, what jobs he had, how he survived?

NO!

With Indigo canon binned (apart from the following, apparently, which is convenient), I'm supposed to accept that James, who wasn't just a small boy, but a preened, pampered only child and precious son and heir, fêted and catered to by a household full of servants, with no life skills or survival instincts to speak of, somehow scraped by on the streets on his own FOR FIFTEEN YEARS, with no Jessie to take care of him, or Chopper, or Tyra, or any kindly biker?

As if! He'd have been dead within hours!

Of course, he caught no Pokémon during this period either (being most of his life) and consequently had no form of self-defence to hand, but this colossal plot hole doesn't seem to trouble anyone.

Who knows, maybe in this timeline he stayed home until the night before Giovanni snapped him up, which I suppose makes Jessibelle his own personal Darren in significance.

Except people never mind if, by default, every new Jessie backstory comes replete with endless gobshite wasters queueing up to give her Forgotten Major Trauma, but if James has another woman, and it's Jessibelle, there's hell to pay.

Well no wonder she's miffed, staying with him for decades only to watch him walk out the door as soon as she slipped on the veil.

I reckon it's only the good humour of Vileplume that keeps her from tipping into full Miss Havisham mode.

Whilst I'm at it, the art style of Training Daze is a bit...off, and doesn't resemble the rest of Hoenn.

I suspect it's an imitation of how they looked in their earliest scenes, in fact the above screenshot is suspiciously like this one, even if they haven't bothered fixing the colours.

See? They can draw better. They just won't.

My theory is the crew knew retconning the past was playing with fire, so deliberately designed 'em as close as they could to early Kanto, thereby easing fans into accepting it, as if now it's obvious Indigo Jessie and James really went through the prequel, and were originally invented with this past in mind.

Yeah. Not that it makes sense, for if the Kanto style was that important to anyone they'd still be going by its canon backstories come what may, and certainly wouldn't have rolled over blithely accepting the mushed-up faces on 'em recently, but then, who really cares about coherent thinking?

It's so overrated.

And I can't deny it worked. People tie themselves in all sorts of weird knots insisting Training Daze ackshully does fit with canon...if you just shut up and stop noticing.

Once that got through, in their view we'd swallow anything, so why even try making it match?

Who is this supposed to be, man? 'Cause it don't resemble any Jess I remember.

If this picture had gone round labelled as 'Young Nurse Joy' before Sinnoh, no one would've doubted it.

What's wrong with yer bloody eyes, love? They ain't even the right shape!

How can I believe a backstory that happened to someone else?

Now I, being a calm, mild-mannered sort of soul, don't ask for much in life.

But he should die.

Incidentally, years after the fact I skimmed a Cori Falls story where Darren knocked Jessie about, and although I would never once suggest that happened (but it did) I can't say I have a single ounce of sympathy for him.

I mean, if he didn't want that sort of representation, he shouldn't have bloody turned up.

Please understand, I haven't relentlessly insulted him merely from a shipping perspective (die), but also with a fine artistic sensibility.

Firstly, he has No Bloody Eyes, which, logically, constitutes some sort of Shadow Dæmon, but more importantly, and much worse, is the brown hair.

Brown hair.

You're in an anime, and yer got brown hair.

...

YOU COULD HAVE ANY COLOUR IN THE WORLD AND YER PICK BROWN???!!!

Even worse ('cause it's personal now), it ain't even arranged in some ker-razy spiky display as compensation.

Oh no. He's too good for that. Instead Darren's got his barnet all nice and smooth, like a human haircut.

...

See what I'm saying?

He comes swaggering in here, throwing his weight around and upsetting everyone, and hasn't even got the decency to look the part.

Not even an inch of sideburns on this oaf.

I wouldn't mind nearly so much if we were dealing with some ultra-cool world-class titan, the sort of shining star suited to front any other anime, where you could understand Jess taking an interest, but I am not putting up with sticking this bog-standard, penny-pinching tow-rope, with his all-over even wood finish and cow lick, into her past without so much as a by-your-leave, and thereby casting aspersions on her character.

Just consider the insult:

You're telling me Jess has gone from bagging herself James, who's not only young, good-looking, carrying the classic anime style, AND actually matters in the grand scheme with a massive fan following, because he's well-designed and interesting enough to pull a crowd (plus, let's not forget, HE'S FOOKIN' LOADED, MAN!!!) to settling (and come on, it's settling) for eyeless, bland background filler, who wouldn't even pass muster as a one-time guest character?

Yer can piss off!

Indigo Jess had some flamin' standards and wasn't gonna compromise 'em, but Orange Jess apparently has no taste whatsoever, and is just bloody grateful when any old slobbering air thief shows interest.

And I'm not 'avin it!

See that's why she's on the floor. He hit 'er.

All I said about Darren being Jessie's main source of stability also applies in reverse, as she is that to him.

And still he effed off.

Arsehole. Complete arsehole.

What a classy moral-of-the-story routine this was for the romantically-inclined Little T.A.P.

'Used t'be Jessie crossed paths with her everlasting soulmate (James) and stuck it out through thick and thin.

Message: True love is real, kids!

Together forever!

No matter how long!

From now until the end of time!

Now? Oh yeah, she had a thing once, and thought it was the proper stuff, but...meh.

'Cause even after years together you just can't trust 'em not to leave.

Message: Never feel secure!

Not for one second!

You don't know what he's plotting!

Oh, kill the dream, why don't yer?

Let's not aim for something higher anymore, trying to convey the soaring ideals of love, so that, despite their misery and poverty, Jessie and James have a little beauty to cling on to through the darkness.

Nah, mate, kick 'em when they're down!

Thus Darren departs continuity, oversized coat and guide dog in hand, as Orange Jess sinks to her knees, pleading for his return.

Have some bloody self-respect, Jess!

You're so invested in a walking Cuprinol advert you're actually begging him not to go?

You like minimum-effort mediocrity THAT much?

And you're STILL sorry it didn't last?!

Fuxake, woman!

For if I accept it, I think less of her.

There once was a time when our Jess pictured herself as an earthbound goddess served devotedly by adoring slave boys.

Ooooh. Some of them lads have brown hair.

They've all got curtains, perms and mullets, man!

That's the default setting of anime!

Being mere fantasy figures, they don't really exist in this universe, and thus I'm cutting 'em some slack, given this whimsy never buggered up canon.

They know their place.

But watching her debase herself like this, crawling across the scratchy nylon carpet, clutching at the tan polyester seams of Darren's best waterproof ensemble, really got my goat, as that ain't the Jess I loved and idolised.

Old Indigo Jess wouldn't have stood for any of that nonsense, as her lovely little speech in The Ghost of Maiden's Peak makes plain.

Oooh, but she's just trying to save face because of what she did in the past.

A. You're only saying that in hindsight, wanting to believe Pokémon has a solid continuity where both Barren Darren and Austin Powers fit, even when it's impossible.

B. Where's the evidence for this in original canon?

C. There's nothing wrong with learning from others' mistakes instead of going there yourself.

D. Orange Jess evidently doesn't regret it, what with telling us all about sinking so low she's hankered after Spirits From The Nether Realm, and giving it good woe-is-me in the aftermath.

Back in the first series, all the fellas Jessie wanted waiting upon her had James's lean physique, with the majority sporting some variation on his hair colour.

Is it really just a coincidence that since then, none of her supposed beaus look remotely like him?

Each one has either brown or dark grey hair, making 'em as boring as possible:

• Darren

• Aston Villa

• Dr. Shite

• Speccy in the Lucario film.

• Him from Mewtwo Returns, whatever his name is, the sub says Penicillin.

So the art department's going out of its way to tell us:

1. James is NOT Jessie's type.

2. She has really low standards, yet he STILL doesn't meet 'em.

Now Darren doesn't really matter too much, since everyone else who hasn't been nursing a grudge for two decades forgets him.

Even I don't care until he comes up in screen shots.

Osstin however is the real shithouse.

He gets an entire bloody episode nurturing his canon balls.

See here's where the slippery slope knocks yer down:

• Make Team Rocket look Indigo for Training Daze.

Once accepted, don't bother letting Jess resemble herself in Crossing Paths!

• Introduce other men in a minor flashback.

Now the past is broken, have whole episodes pissing on its memory.

And how the quality has sunk in the meantime.

Darren, whilst a massive step down from James, is at least reasonably masculine, and probably as attractive as shape-shifters get.

Osstin meanwhile...

I'm gonna ignore the brown barnet, being a tangle of jagged edges, evidently over-compensating for what lies beneath.

'Cause he is ugly, man.

Jessie's tastes have degraded so badly they've slipped into the perverse, juvenile blood throbbing at the sight of a squeaky, short-arsed four-eyes barely bigger than herself.

Why, God? Why do you curse me?

James was a wealthy effeminate fop, in his day, Darren was a normal, middle-of-the-road incubus, in his day, both of which are a sight load better than whatever this is supposed to be.

You want me to believe Jessie's gone from either of them to a squinting, emasculated and vertically challenged dweeb, fogging up at the mere sniff of Reddit and SY-UNCE, and truly hideous to behold?

She left Darren for him, did she?

Takin' liberties here!

Remember it, tho?

Back when she was taking expensive dance classes in an unspecified region paid for by her indulgent moneybags parents with those familiar best friends of hers?

You know, that pair we keep seeing on the road.

Never not on our screens, are they?

I'm sick of hearing about 'em.

It's always Jessie getting dumped, you notice. Never her kicking the useless sod to the kerb, realizing she can do better.

Nope. Only James is low enough for that.

But do they really expect me to still love and admire Jessie, look up to her even, as I once did, when now I'm told she's so pathetic even nerds don't want her?

Bastards!

Oh, you're sorry this didn't work out, are yer Jess?

You're crying because you didn't marry the gormless incel and birth a dozen bi-focal babies?

Just look at yerself, girl!

Worse, Darren left her when they were reasonably grown-up, about the age she was in the Orange League, meaning if it happened (which it didn't) it had to be not long before Kanto began, so I might understand her still being upset over a man she'd known since childhood, supposing I did believe it.

BUT Osstin buggered off when she was at best, about bloody eleven, and so they had no romance in the first place, yet she's still moaning about The Geck That Got Away well into Sinnoh, meaning she regrets losing him more than Darren!

You're rapidly going down in my estimation, Jess!

Of course, the irony is James morphing into said revolting breed of 'male' in the later eras, so by rights Jessie ought to be on him like a pigeon on Monster Munch.

I marvel at anyone who kept their Rocketshipping hopes up this long, given just how many warning signals the writers put out over the years.

Nothing blatant, obviously. They're not stupid.

Even the quote above quietly kills off any hint of Jessie and James's then-relationship, and as usual with retcons, once said, you're expected to apply them to the past and pretend it was always this way.

No one loves Jess, kids!

And certainly not James!

All that Indigo evidence was just in your head!

There's never a positive reflection of her being glad she met James and Meowth, that these various conflicting pasts led to them, and so it all worked out in the end.

Every time she bemoans a 'lost love', it's a tacit admission she wishes she was anywhere but here, and with anyone but them.

Anyone but James, in truth.

Oh, that's cheered me right up.

How miserable she looks.

If nothing else proves Holy Matrimony! is out of continuity (barring bits of it, when useful), it's that her Orange League whining come after this scene.

And this one.

And this one...

...When she is plainly in a relationship with him.

Jessie's first action after staring into James's eyes for an unnecessarily long period of time is to move closer and wrap her arms about his neck, for one of those entirely platonic embraces, no doubt, both so captivated by the moment they've forgotten Meowth exists.

But it never happened, did it?

They've always been Just Friends, haven't they?

See when I rule the world (it won't be long now), and people ask why I did all them war crimes, I'm gonna point 'em to THIS for setting me off.

The End

[kiss-my-freckle]

Recently saw a SEer say this about SE/Stefan being healthier than Bellward/Edward. I've seen many of them claim this. It's such an oversimflication to say Stefan simply didn't want Elena to remain human for his benefit and Edward wanted Bella to be human for his benefit when he said that he'd accept her choice to turn but encouraged her not to since he didn't want her soul to be damned. Also claiming Stefan is better with human blood since "it wasn't his fault he killed his dad and didn't know his strength, which caused him to taste blood and transform" even though Emily told him what would push his body to feed and saying Edward drank human blood cause his tastebuds were sad when Edward didn't choose to become a vampire and wasn't as bad on human blood and told Bella unprompted about his past on human blood unlike Stefan with Elena. Thoughts?:

Stefan not wanting Elena to be a vampire is different from Edward in that Elena doesn't want to be one. She is willing to chance that a five hundred year old magic potion will resurrect her, and if it doesn’t then she’ll die. Becoming a vampire would've guarantee her survival. Stefan says if it were up to him he'd want to be with her forever but understands that’s not a life Elena wants. Stefan’s opposed to Elena becoming a vampire because he’s respecting her choice, Edward is opposed because he wants Bella to be human. Being a ripper wasn’t a choice Stefan was able to make under fully informed and uncoerced circumstances. He woke up a vampire under traumatic circumstances, killed his father by accident, switched off his humanity and became a monster while unable to stop himself from being one. Klaus later compels him. It’s not the same as Edward choosing to feed on humans because his tastebuds were sad. Edward is insanely strong and faster than the human eye can see, while Stefan is strong and fast, but his physical relationship with Elena is a non-issue. Edward is so hard to kill or even injure that he can’t even commit suicide, meanwhile Stefan has to worry about human vampire hunters and is frequently incapacitated by just about everybody. Human-vampire relationships are commonplace in TVD and vampires can live side by side with them, while in Twilight they’re not a thing, at all, humans are dinner and vampires are terrifying, and if you develop feelings for a human you turn them. Obviously, her relationship to Stefan is nourishing which is the point and obviously there are moments where you see her be like, oh my God my boyfriend is so hot, omg he’s so dreamy but she doesn’t revere him like a god. Bella legit worships Edward. Stefan is all about boundaries, even when he reveals that he met her last year after saving her life, all he does is come back to town, he doesn’t feel entitled to her private space while Edward enters Bella's room without asking. when Elena sees weird things about Stefan in the 1st 5 episodes of season 1, he brushes it off but he doesn’t speak to her to make her feel stupid or crazy and when she directly asks him what are you, he tells her he's a vampire.

Stefan "claimed" if it were up to him, he'd want to be with Elena forever, but he can't love vampires. He would've never loved Elena as a vampire. They spent seasons covering this issue. It's not just that his heart is pure, it's that his love is pure. Stefan tried to hide his desire for Elena to be human behind her desire to be human, but the added pressure could be felt. He didn't force Jeremy to kill vampires for Elena, he did it for himself. He did it because in his mind, Elena needed to be fixed. He can't love Elena as a vampire even at the risk of losing her. Caroline is the only vampire Stefan loved beyond friendship. That's why he has a problem admitting his feelings for her.

Stefan is not better with human blood. Only an idiot would believe he is. And it was his fault that he killed his father because he knew that his body was pushing him to complete the transition, and he put himself in that position anyway. Damon knew well enough to stay away from humans for the sake of making sure he died. Even when he brought Damon a human to feed on, Damon was resisting the blood, so Stefan had to force him to feed.

Not all of Stefan's ripper binders are by force. In fact, season 3 was the only time he was shown to be forced. And yes, all his other ripper binders were by choice. He chose to be a ripper the moment he chose to flip his humanity switch. Stefan is not all about boundaries. If he were, he wouldn't have entered Elena's life in the first place. He signs up for high school for that very reason when he could've easily been an ambulance driver or a carpenter. He wanted to be part of her every day life, and ensured that he was. That's not respecting boundaries, that's forcing yourself into someone's life whether they want you there or not. He's just lucky Elena was a sad, despressed, vulnerable, needy girl.

[letscrywolff]

I refuse to feign indifference. Nearly a year later and I still care. I'm not ashamed to admit it.

Your cold detachment, your silence - it used to tear at me. But now I see through it. I know the truth: I’ve never been far from your mind.

Not then, and not now.

You’re reading this, and you’re afraid. Afraid to confront what’s real, afraid to make a move. You even told me last time that you thought about reaching out multiple times but that you always talked yourself out of it, worried it wouldn't be right for "us". You have this habit of making unilateral decisions for "us" that always involve your lack of involvement. And you don't stay away because you worry it isn't right or good for us - you stay away because you're scared. That’s your weakness and always has been - fear. It’s what’s kept you stuck, not just with me, but with everyone.

You’re lost in a maze of choices, imagining different lives with people who aren’t here, daydreaming about those who’ve already walked away. All the while, you sabotage the present, undermine what’s real, what’s right in front of you. You did it with us. We could have worked.

We should have worked.

And that’s why I won’t pretend to not care. I’m not afraid. I’m not a coward. I'm not afraid to admit my failings - and I'm no longer afraid to hold you accountable for yours, either. I'm not afraid of things working. Of getting connected even deeper. Of risking the chance of having my heart broken again - I mean, you've broken it innumerable times at this point, I clearly have no issue risking my heart for a chance at happiness.

I just can't hide behind indifference because I do still care about you. I have the strength to admit it, and you should too. There’s no power in pretending we don’t have a history rooted in love, care and passion. You can't retcon that and pretend otherwise. I've been here long enough, been with enough people, to know when it's real, and when it's bullshit. I looked you in the eyes and I saw the burning look of love - it was animalistic. It was so fucking natural and obvious - even a blind man could see that the look you often gave me was one of love. It fucking radiated off of us - you saw the pictures from the security camera and even when you were peak-upset with me, you couldn't deny it. Believe your own eyes - we truly were in love. It couldn't have been mistaken for anything else. In the void, where you're most comfortable being yourself, you confirmed it in secrecy in your own words.

Your words were my vindication. I needed that more than you'll ever understand. Where you feel robbed, I feel righted.

But there’s no strength in the way you ended things. No courage in your reasons.

You ran because you were scared. Scared of what was real, scared of a commitment that required more than just playing house.

You said you felt pushed, like I was asking too much by wanting to grow our relationship, to make it flourish. As if asking for the next step after six years was some sudden, unreasonable demand. But let’s be honest, you weren’t being pushed; you were being asked to grow up.

You once mused about all the things you could have grown in a garden had you been with a better lover - clearly referencing me in your poetry. How did you plan to do that without tending to it too? All you proved is that you reap what you sow. What you saw as being pushed was really just the moment to cultivate what we had, to let it grow into something lasting. To grow a garden WITH me. Together. You helped plant the seeds of our future - but refused to help tend to and cultivate them.

I wouldn't have gone for it if you hadn't been in lockstep with me. I put in the work to ensure we were on the same page.

We could have grown that garden. Beautiful, nourishing, and plenty. But you couldn't be bothered to get your hands dirty.

And you still can't.

You'll still feign indifference. You'll still keep your distance. You'll still run from the good things and into the bad. And your pride will continue to hold you back - cause you'll still run whenever you get too close to someone. Because you don't have the guts to be anything more than a coward. You thought I never saw the real you, but that's who you truly are. A coward.

But I'll always take pride in being able to stand in my truth: I still care about you. I still love you. And I'll never back down from a chance to tell you so.

[mayhiems]

Dang. Since I've binged all Diakko and Kuromaya fics on Ao3 and am still not over them. For my own peace of mind, I would like to clarify that:

1. Diana is a top

Listen, she might've been flustered by Akko's straightforwardness and she forgets what to do with herself whenever Akko gets all up in her face BUT that's because she has no idea what's happening. She isn't sure how to deal with Akko's wildness cuz etiquette and common decency with regard to her culture was drilled into her yo. Plus, she wasn't sure where she stood with Akko in the anime. Where they friends? Acquaintances? Just schoolmates? She didn't know, and of course her manners would make her be more passive than active towards Akko. I mean she wanted to join that group hug but held back cuz she probably thought she'd be too much. Poor kid.

Anyways, that whole passive thing won't be a thing ONCE they start dating.

Sure, Akko might be the one to ask her out, as Diana might hold back due to her position and lifestyle and shtuff even if she'd figured out her feelings and all. She'd be doing that to avoid pressuring Akko, she's just that nice. But again that's a MIGHT. Diana is a VERY PROACTIVE person. I mean her first appearance she blasted them papill cuz she thought they were parasites she nourished. AND SO, ONCE DIAKKO STARTS DATING Y'ALL BETTER BELIEVE SHE'S THE ACTIVE ONE

Diana will court and love Akko the way she does everything. Which means with 120% effort and her whole heart. In other words, Akko will have the best and most proactive girlfriend ever. It's gonna be funny too cuz like Diana's mere presence commands respect and awe from all sorts of people. She turns heads, even Akko's.

No, especially Akko's.

Akko has been dumbstruck on seeing Diana, and has deferred to Diana on numerous occasions. Akko admires and trusts Diana so much, Akko would probably be constantly awestruck and stunned by Diana's attentiveness and care. Also, Diana is gorgeous.

Imagine that, a determined, gorgeous, and nice girl paying utmost attention to you. Akko would become a flustered blushing mess, nobody can change my mind.

2. Claudine TOPS

Y'all can use Maya's confidence and arrogance to defend her all y'all want BUT Maya was denied the chance to feel her emotions, and interact with people outside of theatre and work. The girl is so emotionally constipated she constantly acts in a manner that only shows her "superiority". Not in the sense that she brags (cuz honestly with her skills it's more a statement of fact) but in the sense that she portrays herself as unflawed and nothing less than confident in front of others. Maya doesn't allow herself to doubt herself or show her uncertainty in anything.

That can't last.

She may seem put together throughout the series but that's probably cuz she puts her emotions at arm's length.

If Maya and Claudine start dating there's no way Maya can keep doing that without harming their relationship.

Kuro is understanding and quite caring but she has limits too and her understanding of her own self-worth won't allow her to be treated any less than she deserves. Maya knows that and so she'll try to actually feel her feelings. And boy is that going to involve lots of shy faces, awkwardly spoken but honest sentences, and tentative requests. Like Maya would be the type to suddenly go "I want a kiss." with an innocent but determined pleading expression, and Claudine would smile helplessly but adoringly and say "Okay." Kuro would then slowly and gently kiss Maya, she'd give Maya the option to pull away and change her mind. Because again Claudine is kind and understanding.

For all of her self-assurdeness and aggressiveness, Claudine has been shown to help others without prompting and has been shown to be attentive of the people around her (though she tries not to show it).

Among the nine, Kuro has the most balanced exposure to work, play, and interaction with the world. She knows herself, knows how she is to others, and knows how she would show herself to others. She's confident, studious but also playful. She knows what she wants and does her best to get them. When it comes to emotions, she isn't afraid to accept and show them. Her sadness, irritation, happiness, she is pretty expressive. Also, I don't know how else to say this but.

She's a huge flirt.

Kuro interacts with others in a way that requires a good understanding of other people's emotions. 'Cause she has that. She knows emotions and feelings. She knows when to push or pull, when to tease or please, knows how to fluster or comfort, etc.. She does all these well. Which I think is partly the reason why Maya annoys her so much.

Aside from the frustration of constantly being second place, Maya's cold words and attitude baffles and borderline insults Claudine. Kuro accepst that she needs further improvement but what she can't accept is Maya's condescension. What bothers Kuro isn't what Maya says, but the way she says them. Maya may not outright sound mean or condescending, but someone as emotionally astute as Kuro would pick up on the fact that Maya is "acting". Like, yes everyone acts in front of others and put on masks, but there's a difference in the way Maya does it.

It's established that she represses her emotions, and that she masks the fact with other emotions. What Maya is doing is basically wearing two masks on top of each other.

Of course that would tick off Claudine because first of all, if you're gonna put up a mask for the world why choose such a cold and haughty one? It probably rubs Kuro the wrong way, cuz she's an actress too but she doesn't interact with people so coldly and with so little feelings. Outside of the stage, Kuro talks to people as people, and treats them as such, so when Maya tossed her superior persona in Claudine's face she was appalled.

And second, how frustrating must it be to pull down one mask only to be met with another mask. It implies the idea of another mask, and Kuro would then doubt anything of Maya is genuine. What's worse is that the second mask is Maya's refusal and inability to connect with her emotions so it'll be like interacting with a wall. Claudine lives according to her heart and Maya's disregard for her own heart puts Claudine off.

Which makes Kuromaya even better as a ship.

Kuro is pretty casual and friendly so why is it that all her hackles raise whenever Maya is involved? It can't just be envy, Claudine is too aware of herself to let envy affect her sociability and her manners, as hot-headed as she may seem. The reason, is partially Kuro's desire to understand Maya. Kuro saw this snobbish talented but hardworking girl and immediately questioned how someone so amazing could be so emotionally inept. Kuro was annoyed with Maya's lack of emotional connect, but instead of ignoring Maya, Kuro consciously or subconsciously decided to help her. Claudine understood that Maya avoided feelings and only spoke in theatre and dramatics, so she showed her emotions as blatant and obviously as possible, and what emotion is dramatic? What emotions other than anger, arrogance, and annoyance can you show that can trigger reactions from people?

Kuro blasted her emotions to eleven in Maya's presence so Maya wouldn't be able to ignore it. It's as if Claudine is showing Maya the ropes to feelings like 'this is anger, Maya. You can blow up, get angry, raise your voice, it's okay and it's normal. Everyone feels it, even you and me. I mean look at me.'.

Simply put, Claudine is trying to speak Maya's language in order to help Maya navigate her emotions. And it works. It freakin works.

When Maya talked and held out her hand to Claudine after their loss, that wasn't just an acknowledgement of Claudine's hardwork as a stage girl, that was also an acknowledgement of Claudine's efforts to reach out to Maya personally, and proof of Maya's improvement from being an aloof ass.

Both of them are calmer the last time they're seen, cuz they understand each other better now. Claudine doesn't have to shout anymore for Maya to listen to her.

Anyways, all of the above had to be said so I can reiterate that Claudine TOPS.

Maya equipped with new understanding of emotions and how her actions affect the emotions of others will probably be fumbling and hesitating for fear of upsetting her counterpart. BUT the thing is, Claudine is such an understanding and supportive person that Maya can take her time doing and asking for whatever. And this gets her to be comfortable with feelings. That just doesn't mean Maya now has the same confidence on stage as in her relationship with Kuro. Maya would still be shy and unable to take the lead when giving physical affection as it's new territory for her.

Claudine on the other hand, has lots of love to give, and knowing her partner grew up with little affection makes Kuro want to give Maya everything. Maya would let her because it's Claudine, her trusted partner and companion.

And again, Claudine is a huge FLIRT. That girl knows she's amazing, gorgeous, charming, and undeniably attractive, couple that with the fact that she's absolutely determined in getting whatever she wants and boom. Top!Claudine.

With anyone else, Maya would top, but with Claudine? Bottom you go.

Although, Kuro wouldn't mind if Maya wants to try taking the lead.

Y'all can argue that when you find a genie, otherwise you shouldn't even think of winning.

Also Claudine is bi af. That girl just likes what she likes and probably doesn't think much of gender.

In short:

Diakko

Before dating/confirming each other's feelings:

Akko: *grabs Diana's hands grinning widely* DIANA!

Diana: *freezes, gay panics* uhhh

Dating

Akko: Diana! *smiles so bright the sun disappears*

Diana: *smiles gently, brushes Akko's bangs aside, carresses cheek, and kisses Akko's forehead* Hello, Akko.

Akko: *completely red faced, mouth agape* I-uhh-umm

Roughly Kuromaya:

Claudine: *holds out hand for a shake, smiling prettily* Nice to meet you.

Maya: *lifts one eyebrow, looks at Kuro's hand then face then hand again then back to face* uh-huh Pleased to make your acquaintance. *doesn't accept handshake*

Claudine internally: wtf. Wtf?????? Excusez moi?

Claudine: okay listen up *gets in Maya's face like so close their noses brush against each other's* that's not how you greet people

Maya: *blanks at the sight of the pretty girl with intense eyes, gets annoyed with self at gay panicking* Step aside.

Claudine: *blocks Maya's way* i am not leaving till you talk to me properly

Maya: *surprised pikachu face*

Claudine: *smiling confidently* And you will

Maya: *fascinated, thoroughly intrigued, and gaying hard* Of course. Please be gentle with me.

Claudine: *scoffs* What do you take me for, a brute? *gently squeezes Maya's shoulder* You're in good hands.

Maya: *bursts into tears cuz she's finally not alone, and she's so terribly touch-starved*

Hmm yeah not too accurate. Tsk.

Anyways... Hopefully with this I can do my homeworks and stay away from these dam girls.

[antoinettelavoisiersblog]

Finding hope when you want to give up

The last couple of weeks have been stressful and my anxiety kicked into overdrive due to the migraines and the inability to sleep well. When I can't sleep I pretty much drag myself along because life doesn't stop just because I might not feel like adulting for the day. It's not possible for any of us to be on 100% all the time. Sometimes we are just tired. Work gets monotonous, we get sick, bad things happen sometimes, annoying things happen more often and the alarm clock goes off and you just want to lay there.... but you gotta dust yourself off and try again and again.... This is how I scrape myself up and continue to show up regardless of the obstacles and stay determined to reach my goals.

I have never given my migraines the attention they deserve in the direction of getting help for them because there is no cure for migraines and still to this day scientists are still puzzled by them. Most people I know don't even know they are a problem in my life because I never talk about it. I didn't see the point of complaining about it to anyone when no one could help me. When I am experiencing an episode I just separate myself from people quietly to go deal with the pain. When you are in that kind of pain the last thing you want to make time for is people's opinions and ideas of what you should do; as if I haven't done everything I could to stop pain so terrible you can hardly open your eyes or touch your own face and can last for days at a time. I have been suffering in silence for too long. My husband would see me in pain but I never even discussed it with him until a week ago and we have been together for over a decade. I had decided that it was just a part of my life and their was nothing I could do and talking about it felt like I was giving it power so I pushed it into shadows and I delt with it when I had to return to the shadows with it. This is exactly how not to deal with your obstacles.

My husband knew I had migraines but I was very vague about it so in his mind he though it was just headache. To those of you that do not experience migraines it is far more than just a headache. The pain is so bad that I can't do anything when they come. It completely stops me in whatever I'm doing and puts my life on hold for however long they last. I can't eat, I cant sleep, I can't stand the light of the sun or even a dim light from a lamp. I just ball up with my arms folded around my head in a dark room. Not really talking about your struggles traps you in a world alone with them with no light of hope. I don't like needing help for anything. I'm a nerd so when I have a problem I find my own help through extensive research and fix it myself. Help is less about what someone can do for you and more about the support of just being properly understood. Just being understood gave me a sense of emotional relief. My husband is a Mr. Fixit so when I told him he got on the ball to find me some kind of relief. I'm taking CBD oil for it now that doesn't stop it but makes it easier for me to cope with through the pain. I've done more research and have changed my eating habits to pin point triggers to find out how to prevent them or at least make them more manageable. In a few weeks I will get my daith pierced in both ears(thick middle cartilage) It's a pressure point that has helped many people with migraines have them less frequently, less severe and in some cases stopped them all together.

You aren't going to feel good all the time and rather it is physically difficult or emotional ignoring what's wrong is not going to get us ahead. The longer we go without proper nourishment through our hardships the harder they become. If they get too difficult for us it can land us in dangerous territory and once we lose hope we won't even care how our life breaks down around us.

When it gets hard to stay motivated we must have self compassion for ourselves enough to tell someone we trust even if it seems like they can't help, their hope for us can be enough to cause a spark of hope in ourselves. If it wasn't for my husband's hope I wouldn't have even looked for anymore solutions because I was emotionally exhausted to even try anymore. If you are feeling down know when to rest and after you have rested even if you dont believe find your spark of hope. Those that look will find it. It is never an option to give up on yourself.

[theintuitivewildflower]

Self-Love First, Manifest After

Science & Spirituality Series

Are you living intentionally or just going through the motions??? Do you think it's too late, you're too old to fulfill your purpose??! Did you quit day dreaming? You believe that you give up your dreams when you have children or get married or both? Are you overwhelmed, anxious, angry? Are your emotions leaning into the negative end of the vibe spectrum?

If you answered yes to any of the questions above then my guess is that by now you have witnessed or been party to some not so positive happenings, events or situations recently? You have created some momentum of thought in the opposite direction of where you want to go.

So here is what I want you to understand about the law of attraction.

Everything is relative and connected via ENERGY and FREQUENCY & INTENTIONS; OUR THOUGHTS ARE POWERFUL. Do you want to utilize that power or is it a change you just can't or won't adapt to; positive from negative, optimism vs. pessimism??

You surely have heard of Karma. Biblically, you may have studied that you reap what you sow. Both, the same concept and if you are breathing and living as an adult, you have experienced or witnessed this in action; we all know it is true, what goes around comes around, what you give out you will get back at some point. How much positivity do you have in your vibrational escrow? Are you creating good karmic ties for yourself or are you still on the negative end of the spectrum? It may be time for you to get a realignment; lean a more to the positive, optimistic side and see what happens? It costs you nothing and all you stand to lose is negativity.

I used to be an extremely negative, sarcastic, ungrateful, angry and rebellious individual. If you follow my blog on social media or know me personally then you already know the whole back story but here's what you I feel you should know because I'm feeling led to share this with you today....

I created some negative karmic ties for myself up until I was into my late 30's. At 39, I delved into a spiritual and personal growth journey that has helped me change many bad habits and also empowered me to begin healing all my hurts and practicing self- compassion; unconditional self-love. I am not talking about pride or the self-absorbed kind of self-love; I am not talking about being conceited or overly confident or cocky. Self-love is about accepting yourself for who you authentically are at your core, not hiding behind a facade or mask to hide ourselves from any light being shown on us; fearing that our faults will be highlighted, our failures made public or our problems laughed about or judged by others.

Self-love must come before any and all other self-development steps or changes can be made. If you don't know who you really are; if you're not aligned, authentic and accepting of yourself.....WHY NOT LOVELY??

ALL OTHER RELATIONSHIPS IN YOUR LIFE WILL FAIL IF YOU DO NOT MASTER LOVING YOURSELF UNCONDITIONALLY. YOU CAN NEVER POUR FROM AN EMPTY CUP. THEREFORE, IT'S IMPORTANT WHAT YOU FEED YOURSELF AND WHAT YOU FEED YOUR SOUL. START WITH KINDNESS, GOODNESS AND INSPIRATION BECAUSE WHAT COMES OUT OF YOUR MOUTH COMES FROM YOUR MIND. IT'S YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO TRAIN YOUR MIND TO LEAN INTO THE POSITIVE VIBES SIDE.

You might be surprised at the changes just a couple new healthy habits and some intentional positive thoughts can bring about; the momentum that can be created with the mind. We can get complacent. We can easily become creatures of habit and routine. In addition, many of us have allowed ourselves and our passions to be put on the back burner because we think that's what unconditional love is. This is so wrong! We actually have to master self-love before we can unconditionally love others properly. It is about having self- love as a healthy boundary so you don't try to give what you don't have. Self-love helps you to be selfless with others without getting burned; allowing you to say NO if your best interest isn't considered or valued. Self-love is caring for yourself, taking care of you so you can be the best version of you possible. It's about listening to your intuition, wants and needs and giving yourself words of affirmation and encouragement. It's about resting when your tired and moving your body each day. It's about ditching negative self-talk and victim mentality for positive loving self-talk, healing and Joy.

Learn and Know Thyself

Leaning and knowing ourselves from a place of love brings about acceptance of self. This includes accepting the parts of us that we may not like so much; the stubborn ego, the shadow, our darker side. Also, those little things about us that are unique, that we think make us weird to others and that we try to keep hidden or suppressed. Carl Jung stated that "what we resist persists and grows bigger." This is so true because we get back more of what we are thinking about through the law of attraction. Even if we don't want it, if we are thinking of it then it is creating a vibration in the negative direction.

You see, the law of attraction is working all the time whether you practice it intentionally or just go with the flow. If you are pessimistic or easily angered this will continue, grow and continue in your life. You've met these people; the ones who are clearly bitter, angry or negative the majority of the time. They say " that's just the way it is or this is just me, I've always been this way..." Maybe this is you!? Becoming a bit more optimistic will do wonders if you decide to try another way; such as making the law of attraction work for you and not against you.

Once one realizes the power of the mind, thoughts and positivity one can also begin to understand, see and believe that everything is connected. Leave out the self- love and find yourself drained, hurt, broke or depressed; maybe all of the above? First, learn yourself; know thyself completely. Then, learn to love yourself and express it. Do it all again each day. Experience more Joy. Protect that kind of momentum and energy by making a habit of self-love and positive thought .

Follow your bliss. Have more fun. Take more adventures. Show yourself some love. Express gratitude daily. Think positive. Feed your mind, body and soul nourishing content; thoughts, words, food and music. Align with your purpose and devise a plan to intentionally pursue it.

SELF-LOVE IS NOT SELFISH!

You cannot pour from an empty cup. It's your responsibility to make sure your soul is nourished enough to start giving pieces of it to anyone else.Whatever you gotta do to flip the script, do it. Replace negative with positive. This is how you create positive momentum of thought.

All of these little changes can create positive changes for you in your life. If you are intentionally practicing the law of attraction to manifest what you want these basic steps into the optimistic side help you to be aligned with your vibration once you send one out. You see most people forget or leave out the last step in manifesting; the receiving. You have to be ready to receive what you requested and it requires that you stay tuned into that vibration you sent out; hence the importance of mentioning authenticity earlier.

The Bible says in Mark 11:24 ..."whatsoever you ask in prayer, believing you will receive them, you shall receive.

Ask. Believe. Receive.

This is where you begin manifesting what you want; where Joy resides waiting on you to align with it!

One Love

Karyn Dee #theintuitivewildflower

[lifealiveness]

Best Pressure Cooker Foods

My initial not many encounters with the pressing factor cooker came to me at a youthful age in my kitchen. I was most likely around the age of seven. I was acquainted with it by my caring grandma who utilized the compel cooker to can a wide range of yummy sauces, organic product jam, and (my most un-top choice) vegetables. We would fill Mason containers in the pre-fall and late-summer to have a lot of food stock for the long Wisconsin cold weather months. I accept she figured out how to do this while living in a shelter during the economic crisis of the early 20s. This experience gave her a ton of training at preparing huge amounts of nourishment for taking care of our fairly enormous family and for storeroom stockpiling. My top picks rundown of her pressing factor cooking abilities would incorporate pear jam, fruit purée, canned tomatoes, and green beans. Her fruit purée was my definitive top pick.

Presumably that nobody can make fruit purée like my grandma used to, part of the way since she said what fixed things such that great was her caring fingers. I trust her. Despite the fact that we don't have my grandma's lovely hands and grinning face with us any longer we do have her strategy and I will impart her technique to you (fortunate). So first of all, in the event that you don't as of now have a pressing factor cooker kindly go out and get one at this point. I would examine second hand store and recycled stores first to track down the best monetary worth. Without a doubt you will actually want to observe one to be in acceptable condition that will last you for a really long time. In case you can't observe one to be utilized you will experience no difficulty observing one to be new in any significant retail chain that conveys kitchen machines. Best of luck on your chase!

When making fruit purée the apples are vital. Extraordinary consideration ought to be taken while acquiring your apples. My grandma and I would get a bushel of apples from the tree that lived behind our home. In the event that you don't have your own apple tree you can generally go out to a plantation (for a little charge) and pick your own apples. The following best thing is get them from a ranchers market pre-culled. As a last choice you can generally get them from a basic food item market. After we picked the plumpest apples we would bring them inside to wash, strip, take the center out, and cut them into lumps. Presently we were prepared to thud them into some water inside the pressing factor cooker. Next we would add a few entire cinnamon sticks (Which never neglected to shock my cousin. He generally believed that we had by one way or another put apple tree limbs in there coincidentally.), some nectar to taste (to gently improve), and in case it's as you would prefer a smidge of spread.

The amusing thing about my grandma is that deliberate apportioned nothing yet by one way or another it was consistently reliable and consistently yummy. Subsequent to being in the cooker for seemingly everlastingly (however all things considered it presumably was more similar to ten minutes or somewhere in the vicinity). She would remove the pressing factor cooker from the warmth source and let it represent some time prior to opening it. Inside the pot wizardry had occurred. The scents were incredible and would fill our entire house. It was extraordinary. During the subsequent stage we would fill the quart measured Mason containers (32 Oz or 946.35 mL) nearly to the very highest point with our hand crafted fruit purée. Next lay on the level piece of the top and afterward lay on the ring part screwing it down immovably. Fill the cooker with a few crawls of water, ensuring you put the pressing factor cookers rack in before you place the containers inside. Firmly close up the cooker with seals set up. Turn the warmth on high and hang tight for the steam.

When the steam begins check your measure to ensure it is at five or six pounds of pressing factor. Allow the constrain cooker to cook for around ten to fifteen minutes. Watch out for your cookers measure to ensure everything is going without a hitch. In case there is inordinate shaking, lessen the warmth a smidgen. When the time is up (10 - 15 min.) decrease the warmth gradually until the pressing factor cookers check is at nothing. Be cautious when taking the top off as the steam ascending could consume your skin. Take the containers out utilizing utensils and spot them on a cooling rack. The covers will make a popping commotion when they cool. This popping commotion will tell you that your jar of yummy fruit purée is fixed. Allow the containers to stand for the time being.

Toward the beginning of the day take the rings off to make sure that the cover is fixed. In the event that the covers are fixed supplant the rings and put away the containers. On the off chance that the top isn't fixed consume the fruit purée right or toss it out. You presently realize how to make a container of grandmother's older style fruit purée to appreciate with your family for a long time into the future.