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lilystyles · 2 years ago

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watermelon sugar, highhhh.

part two of the no strings attached series by @lilystyles

no strings attached masterlist & main masterlist xxx

authors note part two baby, enjoy! i hope you all like it i'm still a bit iffy about it! gif creds to original owner. BTW THANKS SO MUCH FOR ALL THE LOVE ON THE FIRST PART OF THIS SERIES KISSES TO U ALL I APPRECIATE ALL THE REBLOGS AND LIKES XX (i can't believe the amount of likes fr!)

brief description basically why harry wrote watermelon sugar high, in my head at least anyway. ;)))

warnings! mentions of sex and sexual themes, smut! (f! receiving, fingering) drug abuse (reader doesn't participate), and swearing. around 5k words :)

inexperienced!virgin!reader x high!fwb!harry

* * * * *

It had been a few weeks since she last saw Harry. She had been avoiding the whole situation completely. If someone asked her she’d deny avoiding him. But whenever she shut her eyes all she saw was him, those green eyes. So he wasn’t forgotten.

Y/n was absolutely ruined that evening. After her long day of lectures, she was so overwhelmed this week and was not feeling her best. She felt like giving up and taking a nap. She had only just gotten home from uni and it was dark outside, she felt like she hadn’t stopped all week. So she was thankful it was a Friday because she didn’t know what she’d do if she had to get up tomorrow morning. She decided to take a long shower and wash the day off her skin and warm up. It had been a long cold and rainy day. She just wanted to get cosy and relax. Get out of this bra, these clothes.

When she got out of the shower smelling fresh and feeling warm, she decided to order Italian for dinner from the local place near her and have a quiet night in, she couldn’t be bothered to cook.

The group had invited her out tonight but she was so tired she couldn’t be bothered. Anyway, Harry was going and she wasn’t ready to face him just yet. Things had been different ever since New Year’s. She felt different around him, and she didn’t know what that would mean for their friendship. She valued it so much and was worried she’d ruined it. She didn’t know what to do.

She called up the Italian place for dinner while scrolling through Netflix. She sighed, sadly. She felt so stupid right now.

She ordered enough food to fill up her rumbling stomach and pressed play on an all-time favourite comfort movie of hers. Notting Hill. God, she loved Hugh Grant. Harry used to make fun of how much she would watch this when they were roommates and honestly he wasn’t wrong. She watched it more than the average person, but was that such a crime?

She had gotten about a third of the way into the film when her phone buzzed on the table. She rarely got texts anymore, especially considering she only really talked to Daisy by text. She just called everyone else. She was expecting a drunk selfie from Daisy saying how sad she was sad that Y/n wasn’t there. But it wasn’t her.

NO CALLER ID

Y/n why didn’t you come out tonight? I miss you.

She was confused about who it could be. It had to be one of her mates. But seriously she had all their numbers. So who was this?

who is this?

The text was read instantly. Then three dots. Y/n’s heart weirdly began to race.

NO CALLER ID

It’s H.

Obviously.

Who else are you texting at this hour, missy???

She giggled. He must be drunk, he was always like this when he was drunk. Even though she had been avoiding him; he was like a breath of fresh air. She had missed him. She now realised in the two years he had been away from her she had missed him, too much to let him go.

u drunk haz?

bc u sound drunk.

The text was again read instantly.

NO CALLER ID

I’m not drunk! How dare you!1!!!1

i don’t believe you harold.

NO CALLER ID

:((((((

Y/nnnnnnnnnn

why you sad?

NO CALLER ID

I want you.

what does that mean H?

Read. Then suddenly the replies stopped. Y/n felt stupid all over again but after ten minutes of checking, she put her phone down and tried to focus on the film. She was kind of worried though, was he okay?

Thoughts of him disappeared as the food arrived.

She ate slowly and sluggishly while Notting Hill continued to play. It was now up to the bit where naked photos of her had just been realised and she came rushing to Hugh Grant’s aid. She liked this part, it was so intimate and romantic.

Her tiredness got the best of her though, her full belly and the warmth that her fireplace gave her sent her right off to dreamland. Notting Hill continued to play while she curled up under her old knitted blanket. Soft snores escaped her mouth as the fire crackled.

When she woke up it was probably around two am. She was startled and in the dark, Notting Hill was over, the fire had turned to coals, and the rain had turned to thunder. There was a banging at the door. She thought in her fuzzy mind it might be Daisy or even Miss Jones from next door who was an old lady that always thought Y/n was being loud. She sighed walking over to the door and opening it. Rubbing her eyes. Preparing for either a drunk best mate or an angry old woman.

It was neither of the people she expected. Sleep was still with her, eyes squinted and sore, and her voice was gravelly and quiet when she spoke.

“Harry?”

He was smirking, of course, dimples and all. Eyes all hooded and sultry, he looked edible like this.

His hair was wet but his clothes were dry except for the tops of his shoulders. He was in a 70s ensemble. This orangey red shaded v-neck jumper was on his chest, some dark wash vintage flares on his legs, and some old white boots. His eyes were red and he was obviously under the influence. Of what? Well, she’d soon find out.

“Can I come in?” He asked. She nodded stepping out of the way. Even though things were different the love for him was still there, she’d have let him in her door no matter what, and she would always be at his beck and call. That’s what scared her.

“Cute shorts.” He said touching her hip, Y/n blushed up at him.

They were these old bunny print ones that were too small but she refused to throw them out. She was wearing the bunny slippers that matched too and some shirt that she actually thinks was Harry’s back from when they were roommates. It was navy and so worn it had faded.

He stepped inside. She could smell the potent scent of weed and his cologne. “I’m not going to lie, I’ve ‘ad some spliffs tonight. But I wanted to see you regardless. This just sorta’ happened, y’know how James and I get when we are together.”

Y/n did know. The number of times she’d have to help him get to bed way back when.

“Haz darling, I’m going to go home,” Y/n said softly. He was sat on the couch, high as a kite.

“What? Why?” He sat up now. Hand reaching hers.

She smiled. “Not really in the mood tonight, Haz. That’s okay though. Stay, have fun with James. Be safe, yeah?”

He stood up, all wobbly. She helped him steady himself. “Don’t go. Please?”

He got really affectionate and soft when he was high. She’d noticed that. Drunk Harry was all loud laughs and chaos. This scintillating star. High Harry was mellow and touchy. Like a teddy bear.

“‘M tired though, H.”

He grabbed his coat from the couch. “Then I’ll come too.”

She sighed pouting softly. “Not trying to ruin your fun, I know how you and James are.”

“You aren’t. Promise. Take me home please.” He said grabbing her hand. She smiled up at him.

“Okay.”

“I love you, you know.” He said resting his head on her hair. “Y’one of m’best friends.”

“I love you too, Harry. Always.”

“Okay.” She said softly and he followed her to the couch, which was still warm from her sleeping body.

He put a hand on her thigh it was warm and soft to his touch, and he stroked it to calm them both. There was a nervous energy in the room, which was rare for them. It had always been calm and tranquil when they were together.

“Sorry for waking y’up.” He said, genuinely seeming apologetic.

“It’s alright, Haz. What’s up?” She had a feeling about what he’d say next.

He sighed. “I know we said we’d forget it, but I can’t. I really can’t.”

“It was supposed to be no strings attached…” Y/n said quietly. Because she thought that’s what he wanted.

He looked over. “I know. That’s why I came here.”

“What do you mean?”

He looked down at his hands nervously. “I wanted to talk to you about the whole one-night-only thing.”

“Go on….” She turned her body to face him, eyes glued to his handsome face.

“I want to be with you like that again. I want more than just that night Y/n. It's driving me mad. I want you so fucking bad.” He said waiting for a response, nervous.

She could tell he was high, but she could also tell he was telling the truth. He didn’t tend to lie when he was high. “Like friends with benefits?”

“Yeah sure….only if you want to though. I got the impression that you regretted the other night, but if there’s even the slightest chance you might want this. I need to know. If you don’t, well, at least I’ll know. It’s the not knowing that’s making me crazy, Love.”

She put her hand on top of his giving it a squeeze. “I don’t regret it, H. How could I regret you? I just- I don’t know how I’m supposed to be around you now.”

He laughed a short laugh leaning into her side. “Just be yourself Y/n.”

“Easier said than done.”

He just shook his head at her.

“It’s a deal.”

Harry’s head snapped over, eyes wide and heart pounding so loud he could hear it in his ears. “What?”

She laughed, throwing her head back. “I want to. I really do, but you know we can’t do anything tonight, right?”

His smile quickly turned into a big pout. Hair falling over his eyes. “What? Why?”

“You are unbelievably high. Look at those pupils!” She jested hands resting on his cheeks as she looked into his eyes. There was hardly any green left in them.

“They always get like that when I’m with you.” He leaned closer to show her them. The green had been swallowed by black, his long eyelashes fluttering. His eyelids had gone all swollen from smoking.

She rolled her eyes at him pushing his head gently away. “Shut up. You really are terribly charming. It’s annoying Harold, you know that?”

“Why’s that?” He smiled hands rubbing her thighs. Her soft plump skin was soothing to play with. His hands were calloused but still soft against her.

“I feel like one of your fangirls. Seriously. Speaking of which, we better keep this a secret shouldn’t we?” She put her legs to rest on his lap. His hand stroked her shin gently, relaxing into the couch. He leaned back against the couch, feeling calm.

He cocked his head. “Why?”

“You’re a rockstar. I’m just some random from Holmes Chapel. I reckon your fans will go crazy.”

He frowned. “They know who you are already but just for our privacy, I think so. It’s hard being under the spotlight. I don’t want your privacy taken from you just because of me. People who I’m seeing or any girl really get a lot of hate, I don’t want that to happen to you.”

She nodded, letting silence fill the space.

“Can I eat you out now?” He said abruptly.

She laughed in shock her face turning bright red as she laughed loudly. “No.”

He pouted like a little kid throwing a tantrum. “I just wanna taste you.”

He knew how to get her all riled up. She hated it, he really was good at everything he did. Proving all previous fantasies to be correct.

“Harry, we can’t. It’d be taking advantage.” She replied, knowing she wanted him more than anything right now.

“Of who? Me? It doesn’t matter how sober, drunk, or high I am Y/n ’m still gonna’ want to eat yeh' out so bad.”

She laughed shyly getting up. She had never been so openly wanted, he made her feel sexy. It was a strange feeling because her whole life she had been told she was anything but. Especially because she'd gone this long being a virgin. “Let’s just sleep. Maybe when your sober, okay?”

He pouted again, grabbing her extended hand as she helped him find her room. His arms wrapped around her shoulders across her chest as he followed, feet heavy on the rug.

Her bedroom was chilly when they stepped inside. He clung to her for a moment his nose brushing against her neck, lips grazing her skin. “S’cold in here.”

“Yeah.” She replied, feeling goosebumps arise. She didn’t know if it was the cold or Harry who made her feel that way.

He began to take off his clothes until he was just in boxers she was gonna offer him some clothes but he didn’t seem to care about being naked near her.

She stared at the art that was his body. She hadn’t had much chance to ogle him when they were together last. She noticed the new tattoos, itching to touch them, and ask about them but she refrained.

The tanned skin and rippling muscles, the whisps of hair on his chest, the snail trail on his navel. He was just fucking gorgeous.

“You're staring.” He said. She chose to ignore him, which only made him laugh at her.

She lifted the blankets for him. They were different sheets from last time. These were pink and Harry recognised them from when they were roommates.

“In you get.”

He jumped in childishly and she joined him.

Her window was slightly ajar so they could hear the rain bucketing down, it was loud but peaceful. He curled into her back. His hand slid onto her stomach underneath her shirt as he pressed her closer to him, soaking up her warmth.

“G’night, love.”

“Night Harry. Sweet dreams.” She replied.

He kissed her neck. “Trust me, they will be very sweet.”

Harry was an early riser, he always had been. He loved the mornings. Even when they were roommates and he’d been out partying he’d still get up earlier than Y/n. She on the other hand hated mornings, she always got so grumpy and if he could he avoided waking her up at all costs.

Even after his late night yesterday, he was still the first up of them both. It was around half past six, and the rain was still heavy and coming down. He sighed peacefully, Y/n was still curled up at his side soft breaths escaping her mouth. She looked so peaceful in his arms.

They’d barely moved all night, the last thing he remembered was her by his side tracing his tattoos with her fingers. Her leg was thrown over his hips and her arms were still clinging to his body. He could stay like this forever. He was kind of foggy after last night, he’d forgotten he’d come all the way over here, but it was a pleasant surprise to have her there next to him.

She moved quite a bit in her sleep, he’d always known that about her. She began to squirm a bit shifting her hips against his side, thigh rubbing over his boxers. “Mm.” She groaned, and he watched her to see if she was awake. But nothing.

She kept wriggling against him, and against his own will, he felt his boxers grow tighter. He sighed, holding in a laugh at the thought of last night. It’s honestly the only thing that had been on his mind for days, which probably made him sound like a horny old bastard, but he’d never felt like that before except with Y/n. All she’d done was give him a blowjob and he’d had enough of those to know how it goes.

He’d even started a song about this feeling. It was in the works, but he had to laugh at himself. It was about the female orgasm. Or as he called it “the sweetness in life.” He really couldn’t help but let his mind wander to the idea once again.

His tongue, her. How perfect would it be? Like art being made.

He felt her start to make more noise beside him, pulling him out of his filthy thoughts.

“H?” She whispered groggily, voice hoarse.

He looked down. “Hi, petal.”

She rumbled a groan, stretching her arms out her shirt riding up revealing her tummy. “What time is it?” He reminded her of a cat, all stretched out like that.

“I dunno, early though. Probably sixish.” He replied, hand rubbing her back. “How’d you sleep?”

“I can’t focus on what you just said when your dicks hard sticking into me,” She teased, “Can you start again?”

He laughed cheeks going a bit pink. “Sorry, I would’ve moved you but you are not the happiest in the mornings, I wanted to keep my head from being bitten off.”

She rolled her eyes ignoring that comment. “How long have you been awake?”

“A little while.” His eyes hadn’t moved off her face the entire time.

“How’d you sleep?”

He pulled her closer, one hand on her lower back and the other on her thigh. She could really feel him now. It made this whole thing seem real. This was the first time they’d been like this when they were sober. Her confidence felt smaller and weaker. The tequila was what gave her the courage to get with him in the first place.

“Perfectly.”

She just nodded trying not to focus on his achingly hard cock sticking into her. The feel of him already had her giddy. “Good. Can I make you a tea or coffee? You hungry?”

She was about to get up but he grabbed her. “‘M ravenous,”

She innocently started to list off what she had for food in her flat. “Well I have some toast, I can make pancakes, and I have cheerios—”

“You’re so cute, Y/n.”

She cocked her head. “Uh- Thanks?”

He kissed her hairline, “I haven’t forgotten our conversation from last night. Have you?”

She blushed, finally realising what he was insinuating. “No. How could I forget that?”

“Can I kiss you?”

She nodded, moving her face close to his, and their noses brushed softly.

As he leaned forward she could feel his warm breath on her face. He pecked her lips softly at first pulling back to kiss her nose too, then one of her rosy cheeks. Before finally placing his lips on hers firmer this time. It was deep and slow, with no urgency in it. He wanted to take his time and enjoy waking up with such an opportunity in front of him.

He wanted her like this every morning.

Y/n knew she’d never had a boyfriend let alone a friends-with-benefits before this. The most she’d done is kiss a few dates or strangers in a bar. But for some reason, she felt this was rather intimate for two people who claimed to be just friends who have just sex.

What drew the line between friends who are fucking and people dating? Is the fact they slept together and cuddled up all night something more than friends do? Or is it all part of this whole deal they had, did that just come with it? She had no idea, and she wondered if Harry was like this with everyone he slept with casually. She had to admit sometimes she got sad when she saw how he made everyone feel special. It made her feel just like any other girl he’d been with. When he was far from anything she’d ever experienced and honestly she’d probably compare every other boy to him after this.

That’s what scared her.

And then of course she thought that if she wasn’t so inexperienced maybe she’d be calmer about the whole casual thing. But Y/n didn’t do casual. She was all or nothing. But if Harry wanted casual she’d do it. She’d do more for him than she cared to admit.

The kiss grew fierier and that felt more like the first time they were together — it was all tongues and teeth. He began to roll on top of her, pressing his hard cock against her and her yearning for him grew even stronger. She honestly thought herself pathetic for how wet he made her, they’d done practically nothing and already her heart was beating fast, her chest heaving against his.

His hands slid up under her shirt massaging her tits gently, as he began to kiss her neck. The hickey he’d left last had faded now which gave him the motivation to do another and who was she to tell him no? Her hands were in his hair massaging him as she sighed contently. Letting out moans every few seconds from the pleasure his touch brought.

How did he already know her body so well? It was like he could read her mind. And yet every move he made seemed so effortless.

“Take it off.” Y/n sighed gesturing to her shirt. Harry didn’t need to be told twice, he ripped it off and throwing somewhere neither cared to look as his mouth roamed along the peaks of her tits, nipples suddenly hard. Her back arched up to his hot, wet mouth.

His tongue swiped along them and Y/n whined needily, her hands now on his shoulders as her hips bucked up. He sucked just below one of them, leaving a mark Y/n knew she’d touch whenever she thought of him after this. His hands were on her waist fiddling with the waistband of her very small shorts. He kissed down her stomach and on her hip tattoo.

“When’d ya’ get this lil’ number?” He asked, moving the shorts to reveal a small yet noticeable tattoo. It was a little moth kind of similar to the one on Harry but smaller.

“I got it with Daisy on a whim one night. I actually used you as inspiration. I didn’t know what else to get. I’ve always loved your tattoos.”

His heart swelled and he kissed it. “It’s sexy.” She smiled, face all pink, eyes soft.

“Can I touch you, Harry?”

He shook his head and she frowned confused. “Why not?”

“Because I want this to be about you.” He replied.

She pouted at him reaching for his hand.

“Don’t give me that, be good f’me and let me make y’feel good Petal.” He said tapping it away.

“Okay, I’ll be good.”

He said. “Atta girl.”

She felt her stomach twist in want. “You can take those off too.”

So he did. He had an inkling she hadn’t any undies under there and his theory was proven correct.

“Sorry I didn’t shave, I didn’t know this would happen.” He looked up at her, his fingertips gliding up her inner thigh.

“Don’t be silly, Y/n.”

Harry constantly raised her standards every second.

“Don’t boys get repulsed by hair?” She asked.

He laughed staring right at her dripping hole, his eyes looked hungry, lips slightly parted. “Yeah exactly, boys. Not real men. I firmly believe men who care don’t actually like pussy. I love pussy, what’s a little hair anyway?”

“I guess m’ just nervous, H.” She replied, looking away.

He stopped, hands freezing. “D’ya want me to stop?”

Her hands moved from her stomach to his cheeks, stubble grazing her hands. “No,” She said faster than she had wanted to, which actually made him smirk. “I just- What if I do it wrong?”

“How can you do anything wrong? You just have to let me take care of you. Relax, Love. It’s just me.”

“Just Harry,” She confirmed and he kissed her thigh. She felt the stubble graze her and felt her pussy throb deeply. She was yearning for him.

“Tell me if y’want me to stop, okay?”

She nodded. “I will.”

He lifted her legs up placing them on his muscular shoulders, pulling her close by her hips. Every single touch and movement of his was teasing and getting her so worked up she was about ready to beg him for it. His breath was making her squirm against his face when he finally decided to kiss her puffy clit which was swollen in arousal. She was taken back to New Year’s when she kissed the tip of his throbbing dick. All pink and slick.

She let out a heavy breath shutting her eyes. One of his hands found hers and she held it, stroking her thumb over his knuckles in encouragement because she was worried her voice would be too shaky. Without further hesitation, his warm tongue lapped up all the wetness dripping down her pretty pussy.

She whimpered. Was it supposed to feel this good?

He started to suck on her clit, lapping it up over and over. The noise of what he was doing to her was pure filth. Her hand was in his hair tugging at it as she cried out. She tried to stop her hips from squirming but it felt so good.

“Fuck, Harry.” She said letting out a shakey breath when his tongue started licking her wet hole.

She gave his hair a particular rough tug and he grunted against her. The vibrations made her whine.

She felt his free hand move against her pussy fingertips tracing up his spit and her slick. Before he began to tease her some more. The tip of his middle finger slid in ever so slightly, her hips leaning into the touch before he pulled away again. He was still harshly sucking her clit, and Y/n couldn’t help but whimper.

“Harry, please.”

He looked up at her from his position. His eyes met hers as he greedily lapped her up. His finger went in slightly further reaching halfway before he pulled away again. She threw her head back in defeat. He wanted her to beg.

“Please, H. I want you so bad.” She said, shutting her eyes.

She felt him pull back for a brief second. “These kinds of things can’t be rushed, Babe.”

She sighed, he was taking his time with her, enjoying every sound that came from her swollen lips. The noise of her slick, dripping pussy against his mouth. The sweet tangy taste of her. Those hands of hers that ran through his hair and tugged when he did something particularly good. He was going to make sure she was satisfied.

He went straight back to it. This time his finger went all the way, knuckle deep, as he grazed that spot that made her scream. He heard her whisper, “Fucking hell.”

He pulled his finger out again. His tongue and lips still working hard against her puffy sensitive clit. She couldn’t contain her moans. They turned on Harry so much that every few seconds he found himself humping against the bed for some relief.

Her hips bucked up, her thighs squeezing his head unintentionally. He made her so riled up she could barely control her body. Her legs were already shaking from the pleasure.

When his finger slipped in the next time it stayed. She sighed contently as he began to thrust against her walls that tightened around him every few seconds. His rhythm wasn’t fast or sloppy it was slow but hard. A steady rhythm. They curled inside her and each time he hit that spongey spot and sucked her clit just right her eyes rolled back in her head.

“Harry,” She begin to chant like a mantra over and over which only egged him on more and more.

She could feel her stomach begin to tighten, and her hands came up to play with her tits. Kneading them and pinching her nipples. The wave of her orgasm snuck up on her, her back arching and her hands finding Harry’s free hand on her thigh to squeeze in a warning.

“Fuck! I’m cumming!” She cried out.

Harry felt her clench like a vice on his fingers as she got wetter and wetter. He felt it drip down his wrist as she whimpered. Her thighs clenched against his wrist as she writhed uncontrollably beneath him. His tongue and finger didn’t stop though. He looked up through hooded eyes at her gorgeous face.

Her hair was fanned out above her head, tossed back, mouth agape in an o shape, and her cheeks were all flushed and pink. Her eyes rolled back as she screamed out. “Ah! Fuck!”

When she started to come down from the peak of her orgasm Harry continued helping her ride it out. She thought he would stop, she was so whimpery and sensitive.

“Got another one in ya’?” He asked, looking up.

“Maybe.”

That was enough for him to keep going. He slipped another finger inside her, he started speeding up now.

“Look at you, so good f’me.” He said, his voice all gravelly.

She whimpered pathetically, squirming. Already feeling a building in her stomach.

“All spread out, ruined, taking me like a good girl. Such a good girl.” Y/n clenched against his fingers at that comment.

“Jesus, Harry. You’ll be, ah, the death of me.” She replied.

He just laughed at her. Starting to speed up his thrusts.

Y/n let her eyes flutter shut as she felt her second orgasm start to wash over her and she sighed. This time it felt even more intense than the first, her toes curled and her hands gripped the sheets. She felt a wild deep sensation inside her. “Oh, god. ‘M cumming.”

It washed through her entire body, pure pleasure overcoming her. When she opened her eyes she saw these black spots, her hearing stopped for a second and she let out a loud mewling carnal whimper. Harry was mesmerised by the sight in front of him. If he could he would do this all day.

When her body went limp he slowly pulled his fingers out and she suddenly felt so empty.

“You okay?” He asked softly.

She opened her eyes, naked chest heaving. “Your…tongue…fuck.”

He giggled.

“Kiss me, please.”

He placed a peck on her lips, brushing some hair from her face.

“Thank you.” She whispered, fingers brushing his jaw.

“No, thank you, Y/n. Been dyin’ to do that for weeks.”

thanks for reading! follow to see a part three! xx if you enjoyed this feel free to check out my masterlist here! xx feel free to request me too!

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles smut #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles x y/n #harry styles one shot #harry styles imagine #nostringsattachedseriesbylilystyles

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my-castles-crumbling · 5 months ago

Note

Hey Cas, Leo Anon.

I have successfully blown up my life since the last ask I sent you, so before you read this entire thing and call me a dick, just know… I know.

It turns out Leo does still have a crush on me. And I still have a crush on him (it’s one of those annoying crushes that hasn’t just gone away after a month. Or a year. Or two).

He told me he still had a crush to explain his reaction and apologised. I then admitted I still have a crush on him.

And that’s where it all went downhill.

Leo got accepted into his dream university, and told us a few months ago under no certain terms would he dream of delaying going.

So when he said “I could go with you and Benjamin in the gap year” I panicked. (Benny’s my best mate btw, he’s obsessed with the Harry Potter dudes and has been complaining non stop about not having the time to enter your conan fest? Which is true he’s super busy- but he’s excited to read the fics i think cause he’s loves conan gray. Ngl I know nothing abt the Harry Potter fandom, hope that’s chill. He’s how I found this blog actually- and you’re really kind to take the time to read about how i’ve ruined my life).

Back to the plot. Leo said what he said and I freaked, I didn’t want him coming with us and then resenting me later for him missing uni.

I told him that’d interfere with me and Benny’s plans to hook up with a bunch of people.

He got really quiet and sounded really sad as he said he had to go.

We didn’t have plans to hook up with people. I panicked and lied…

Oh and gets worse. Word got back to Benny’s girl (they’re not technically dating yet but they are) who’s going to a dif country after the summer for skl, and so we were gonna delay our trip where she is so Benny and her could hang.

But she heard what I told Leo abt hooking up and was mad. So I had to do some damage control.

I met up with her and told her only I was hooking up with people, I just didn’t want to hurt Leo’s feelings any more than I had.

She accepted that and her and Benny are chill but word got back to Leo and now he hates me.

He thinks I lied and I wanted to spend the whole time hooking up with people and he’s never meant anything to me and I don’t care about people.

If we’re being honest, I wasn’t going to hook up anyone on this trip. I hate hooking you with people.

Benny said he thinks i’m on the ace spectrum (demi something he said, like the singer idk?)

It was chill with my first gf, but my ex bf pressured me into it since i’d “already lost my virginity so what?” and then I hooked up with like one other person before deciding it wasn’t really for me.

But I had a rep by then somehow and everyone thought I was some play boy.

I figured my mates knew that wasn’t true but turns out they all believed the rumours too.

Point is, Leo thinks he’s “just another on of my hookups” when the most we’ve ever done is make out and I felt more then than anything else i’ve ever done.

This is stupid. I shouldn’t bother you with my dumb problems. Sorry.

I know I ought to apologise and come clean and stuff but, maybe it’s better if I just leave the friendship fucked up, that way he won’t sacrifice anything for me and I can fuck around the world being cultural and shit. He can do better anyway.

Hi!

Alright, you need to communicate with him!

You can't lie to make someone else's decisions for them! That's not cool! Look at where it's gotten you!

Please, sit Leo down and tell him everything- including that you don't want him to give up Uni for you. But remember that's his decision. If you like him and maybe want to be in a relationship with him, you need to respect his wants and needs, don't decide for him. Talk together about what's best <3

You're not a bad person, I know you were trying to help him. But the best thing to do is talk about it.

Tell Benny I say hi, and he should come try the fest!

#ask #asks #ask cas #leo anon

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radical-community-care · 27 days ago

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between sixth form, my part time job and trying to see my friends i feel so mentally tired and drained and i dont get any revision or homework or anything i love doing (like writing, piano ect) done bcs i just feel so stuck and idk how long i can keep going before i completely mentally give up, have you got any advice?

Dear anon, I am very sorry that it took me so long to answer! I had to take an unplanned social media break and then had some pretty bad health issues (on the mend now) and didn't even manage to open my inbox until two days ago.

anyway, thanks for your patience, I hope things are manageable for you! <3

afai sixth form means that you're old enough that school isn't mandatory any more. I'm gonna be that bad influence that tells you to drop out of school.

schools, unis etc are NOT places to learn (they don't even tend to teach students how to learn, let alone consistently encourage independent thinking, cooperation, nor acting on what you learned or on your conscience). they are part time prisons for children at worst and factories for fancy diplomas at best. plus abuse runs rampant.

they don't teach you stuff that you couldn't learn better elsewhere - if you need it at all. they train people to be be employable and reward them with certificates that basically say "I am good at being exploited for labour, dear boss, please consider exploiting me"

you already have passions and things you like devoting time to - school detracts from that. you're creative!

school affects you severely and I don't want you to hurt yourself for some promise that frankly they don't deliver on. When I went to school I thought schools and unis were the Best places to learn and degrees and diplomas were super important for my future. nope. not true.

I see it as a pattern of abuse now - getting ppl to put up with health destroying hardships and absurd demands (like dictating when you can and can't go pee or eat or stretch your legs or chat with friends, all of which hinders learning!) by holding up some future price. and making promises that are simultaneously ridiculously high ("education opens up the world to you!") and insultingly low ("we'll give you a piece of paper with some grades on them" so that you can apply for jobs but no grades nor jobs are guaranteed plus even if you get one, don't count on making a living off it).

even IF the promises were true, it would be even more unjust (and in many ways is) because formal education acts as a gatekeeper to do many things that get withheld from ppl for mainly racist, classist and sexist reasons - playing that game won't make it get fairer or the world better. besides many of those things are just more capitalism.

If you do decide to keep going, at least stop doing homework - it has been proven to give no benefits to learning. it's just a waste of your time and energy and you're worth more than that!

see if there are other unconventional or anarchic ways to save your time, energy and sanity. this is not just applicable to school btw! you need it at work and when dealing with ppl in general. I'm thinking of things like:

don't obey demands or suggestions unless you really agree that they are the best idea

train your independent thinking, decision making and acting...

as well as how to work together with others as equals

if someone wants to force you to waste your time, energy, talents or insults your intelligence or value as a human being, LET THEM WORK FOR IT

yes sometimes we need to do stuff we don't want. but those times are FAR fewer and farther in between than authorities and social norms (including politeness) would have us believe. AT LEAST let them work for it.

don't be contrarian just to be contrarian though - cooperate with people you value and who have earned your respect and support

strengthen your bonds with friends and people who have similar problems as you, or where you see that you can help them with something they might not be able to do on their own

validate and support others who question or subvert injust or stupid authorities

what I'm doing and wish I'd started decades earlier is to radically cut out any abusive or oppressive person, institution or force in my life. and to build up true friendships and healing relationships instead. to build trust in myself and train my discernment and act on it. to build a good and trusting relationship with myself and my body above all.

there are many ways to get by other than what this oppressive society tries to feed us.

my personal favourite is a combination of mutual aid networks, supportive friendships, connections to nature and the land, and cooperatives or collectives or guilds or associations that work and produce and often make money together without a boss and without being driven by capitalism, but by collectively agreed upon values instead. maybe with some theft, squatting, and other illegalised activities thrown in, as a treat. depends on your risk analysis though.

I'll tell anyone to put their time, effort and hope in those over school/work any day!

and like I said, moving towards tolerating bullshit less and less in all aspects of live and valuing yourself, your agency and time and effort - that should help too in case other institutions or bosses or family or friends sap your energy.

I hope I could give you some support and food for thought, whatever you decide to do with it!

feel free to ask more questions, I'll do my best to answer them more quickly from now on!

#ask #anon #answer #op #school #Anti school #life advice #important #bad influence #anarchy

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koumeowkami · 1 year ago

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Argopro... I still have to get into it wehg... BUT. can you ramble a bit Abt it to me?? Your favorite character, bands, ship, whatever, just have fun!!! <33

oh my god there's SO MUCH to say but words just don't come out like i would (i also suck at explaining things). i'll try to make a coherent rambling lol

i'll start from the fact that i'm the most predictable person ever cause if there are any tsun characters in a franchise, it's impossible for me not to kin them.

so, nayuta asahi.

nayuta is essentially like paralive's kanata (THIS IS DESTINY) and that includes being rude to everyone, having a constant pissed off face, zero social skills, anger issues and having faith in nothing but music. he's insufferable sometimes but hey, that's his charm <3 he has asthma and his dad (the biggest asshole ever) told him he's worthless cause he can't sing like that. he hates his dad for that and also cause he left him and his mother alone. he has trust issues because of it. i think he needs some friends (he will never admit he has them). oh he also has a soft spot for his cat nyankoutaro <3

his band is gyroaxia!! my fav guys ever. they invented metalcore i think. their dynamic is funny cause they argue 24/7 but they're lowkey a family yk. basically everyone in there is a nayuta simp except for reon (guitarist) who literally can't stand him. the others also admit he's insufferable but they all believe in the power of his music, hence the reason why no one leaves the band lol (even tho nayuta would throw anyone out if they're not good enough to "share" his music). no one dares to complain to nayuta apart from reon but at least ryo is pretty chill about it, he just gives him candies to shut him up LMAO (i also love him a normal amount). i also love the irl band a lot, their seiyuus are basically my best friends and they're chaotic af - here's a pic cause they just dropped it and i cried

here's a bit about nayuren (nayuta + ren) too. as i said, they're basically like kanallen. even tho ren is less invasive and more on the shy type of guy, he's still really passionate about music and wants to befriend everyone who thinks the same so he just annoys nayuta (lovingly). they're even in the same class at uni so nayuta can't literally ever have a moment of peace. btw nayuta said that ren's singing is the only thing that has ever moved him and he probably considers him at almost his level <3 so he basically loves him

this got unnecessary long lmao sorry </3

#ask #🦇; cheren!#this is only a SMALL rambling ok. it could be worse #i am very normal about this franchise

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drunkonimagination · 2 years ago

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I'm sending this on anon because I'm embarrassed to be nice on main, but we're mutuals lol and i just want you to know that, in my opinion, your art is 1000x better than Cassandra Jean's lol I just... love your warm, cute style? And you draw Thomas and Alastair just as I imagine them? That's all lol

anon.

AHHHHHH????!?!!?!!! 😭

first. omg are we mutuals?? pls pls don't be embarrassed and feel free to reveal yourself in the future!! <3 asks like this mean everything to me, everything. especially right now (i'm feeling a bit down bc of uni, exams, etc.), so thank you so so much <333

second. did you just compare my silly little art to cassandra jean's??? like for real????? oh. my. god. what can i say...everyone has their preferences in terms of art-style (i have too ofc) and the fact that you like mine even more than the official tsc artist's style is....woah. thank???? you??? so????? much???? i'm so flattered rn 😭💕

omg i'm so glad about that, warm and cute vibes is really what i'm trying to convey all the time here!!! and you can't possibly think that my tom and alastair are just like you imagine them....no way. *screams internally for a good five minutes* that's one of the greatest compliments i've ever received. thank you 😭

btw yess!! i got which post you are talking about!! (this one i think jsjs) and about that, i personally like cj style a lot (especially in terms of colours and composition) and i must say that among all the official artworks we had over the last three years cj's illustrations are definitely the ones i like the most and that get closer to the image of the characters i have in my head! (even though, for instance, i prefer when she draws thomas with longer and messier hair rather than spiky and super short, just like in the postcards she made for the choi release!! i loved those ahhhhh)....so that's why i desperately want more cj drawings 😭

but thank you so so much, i gladly accept the compliment (i still can't believe you said that *screams*) and i'll definitely draw more thomastair in the future (i have so many plans hehe) 😭🙏🏻✨

#asks 💌#thomastair #the last hours #tlh #anon #tysm <3333333

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winryrockbellwannabe · 11 months ago

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the moment when you realized you loved _ (music, sports, etc)

a book you would recommend to anyone who would listen

a movie you would recommend to anyone who would listen

something you wish you could do but can’t

Tysm for the ask Mila!! <3 <3 (btw, i haven't forgotten about your answer to my ask. There's just too much i want to say and I hadn't had the time to be coherent about it lol)

So, 1. the moment when you realized you loved _ (music, sports, etc)

Hmm this will maybe sound weird, but i realized i loved both reading and music when i got into uni and i didn't have as much time for it.

Dont get me wrong i always knew i loved those sm. But damn, the way i miss reading and playing the piano nowadays fills me with such a feeling, like so nostalgic, almost like i lost something in me, and that moment I was like, damn, i do love this. And so now I'm trying to make an effort to bring back reading into my life

2. a book you would recommend to anyone who would listen

You and Zetsy are out to get me with this question, istg

I already answered this, but my main rec would be Pride and Prejudice, it's a safe answer - if ppl hate on it, it's honestly a red flag.

Also, a more risky one is The Secret History. I know the writing style is pretentious (many of my irl friends found that rlly weird) but i feel like the main character is so easy for anyone to relate to, so it make us question what we would do in his place. How far would you go for the first ppl that made you feel welcome? And the things we do bc of our pride and obsessions. Idk

(also, honorable mention to Aristotle and Dante discover the secrets of the universe. That book makes me so nostalgic, i love it)

3. a movie you would recommend to anyone who would listen

Definitely Pride (2014)!

It's based on the true story of a group of gay activists in the UK who were trying to help the families affected by the British miners' strike in 1984. It talks about Tatcher's politics, which i didn't know that much about, and ofc about the gay pride and HIV crisis. I adored it, im definitely due a rewatch.

(also, Dead Poet's Society and Grave of the Fireflies, bc i cant' make a choice to save my life - careful with Grave of the fireflies, that one was a bit traumatic)

4. something you wish you could do but can’t

Rn just rest tbh. I promise im okay, im just tired.

I need some time to myself to go back to the things i love and to find out what i love, you know? Those last three years in college were such a rush, i can't believe how much time has passed and how much i changed. So i just wish i could stop rn to actually find out what i like to do.

Once again tysm for the ask <333

#ask #ask games #beloved moots

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wave2tyun · 11 months ago

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Omggg I’m so proud of you Alex!!!! Congrats ☹️ you’ll crush second semester!!!!! I particularly believe it’ll be easier since you already know how things work and won’t be so lost as before!!

I hate being homesick but I guess it’ll be worth it in the end

anddd I’ve been good so far! I got a job and it’ll start next week so I’m pretty nervous (specially bc I’ll have to work with the public😔) and my classes start February 5th🫤 I’m excited for this year but I’m still pretty tired too.

Also also!!!! I’m finishing twinkling watermelon and I’m sure ur gonna love it, I cried in every episode bc it’s so soooo beautiful

I’m Lia btw :3

OMG HIIIIIII MY DEAREST LIA!!!!🥹🥹🥹💞💓💖💘💖💘 i was NOT expecting the reveal to happen now and omg i will CRY i know you've been here with me since pretty much my very beginning on tumblr🥹💞 come here!!!!!🫂🫂🫂🩷🩷

tysmmmm!!! :DD<333 i believe so too!!! i already know my way around both the university and the city, made some friends too AND actually know how to cook now!!!😌 i will miss the comfort of home and it's probably gonna take some time to adjust back, but just like you've said, it's gonna be worth it in the end. i have so many opportunities here that i wouldn't have back at home, and i'm actually pretty excited for the courses i'm taking this semester :D plus, i think being away from home has also helped me grow and mature in ways i probably wouldn't have been able to otherwise :')

CONGRATS ON THE JOBBBBBB OH MY GOD I'M PROUD OF YOU!!! :DD💘💞💓💓💖💘💞 i hope it's all gonna go smoothhhh as butter😼 and i totally get your fear about working with the public, i also want to try to find a job this semester but i've never had one before and i tend to struggle a lot with social anxiety, so i'm not sure what kind of job to look for😞

good luck with your job and with uni as well!!!🫂🫂🩷 hope you'll get some really good rest on those last few days before you start again!! :0 my classes start on monday and my flight is tomorrow VERY early in the morning....😵‍💫 2024 is gonna be a good year for both of us i can feel, it trust me!!!😼😼

OMG i can't wait to start it then!!!! i always put all my trust in your taste you just NEVER disappoint with your recs😳💞

#wave2tyun answers!! ☆#lia!!<3

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david-watts · 4 years ago

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all of my emotions have been completely repressed this month because of this. episode. that’s what I’ll call it. no room for feelings and thoughts all you can do is panic while you believe every thought that passes through your head and fall deeper and deeper into the well of terror.

#I. kinda want to kill myself.#but I'm so terrified of messing up #things aren't so great in my brain and honest to fuck my meds aren't working for this #well they are but it's got extra effects #anyway what I was originally making this post about was the fact that I definitely don't think I'm over what happened to me #'oh it wasn't so bad! you can do uni and prove them wrong!'#I can't do that.#I almost died finishing grade twelve. like actually. my body was threadbare in a sense.#and I know uni is parttime. it's less than college was. but I want to have a goddamn life and I want to not feel crushed at the end of a day #and I want to leave here so badly but I can't I can't leave the country until I get both my shots and I can't fucking do that #it could be a year or more and I can't live like this for that long #I'm gonna be dead within the decade no matter what I do and I don't want to spend it here #not like this.#and btw I'm not even talking about how suicidal grade twelve made me I'm talking just stresswise I was sick constantly #I was telling everyone I needed a gap year for a reason but nobody would believe me #and it's bullshit that I was expected to write off last year as a gap year because it wasn't #I was being constantly nagged 'why aren't you doing uni work. why aren't you working.' even if I WAS #that wasn't taking a break. that was just terrible.#and on top of this? I can't even fucking talk about what's wrong right now. because talking about it just THINKING about it validates it

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chans-bad-girl · 3 years ago

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Can I please ask how each member would eat you out? (love your blog btw x)

STRAY KIDS HEADCANON - HOW THEY WOULD EAT YOU OUT

! Heavy smut ahead!

Chan

likes to give head a bit more than he'd wanna admit

honestly a sucker for gripping your thighs so you stop squirming around while his head is buried between them

pretty skilled with his tongue

and also his fingers👀

drinks up your moans and whines

loves when you grab on his shoulders or hands when you get close

regularly gets off to the thought of that one time you squirted on his face (also gets really cocky about it)

absolutely loves it when he's looking up at you and you're all fucked out

also overstimulates you a bit on purpose and then smirks at you lol

Minho

tells you to earn it

doesn't like giving head as much but when he does he tries his best to make you a MESS

like actually make you scream

he loves teasing you and licking everywhere but on your clit

touches you all over your body and teases you for your moans/whines/squirming

"wanna moan a bit louder and wake the neighbors or should I keep it with just one finger?"

edges you because what's the fun?

loves loves loves it when you press your hips forward against his face

Changbin

also isn't a fan of oral too much

because he prefers to rail you instead

but he likes seeing how much he can do to you with just his mouth and fingers

so, in an attempt to get you horny while you're sleeping, he starts touching you over your clothes

then, he'll get some lube on his fingers and stretch you out a bit while latching onto your clit with his mouth

finds you incredibly cute when you're confused about the sensation between your legs and then see him eating you out

sleepy you barely has any energy to even move so you just lie there, moaning and still half asleep

teases you when he made you cum like

"you can't even speak! my filthy girlfriend only needs as little as a few fingers to lose her sanity, huh? am I that hot?"

Hyunjin

uses it as a method to cheer you up when you're down

like, when you tell him uni is catching up to the last sliver of energy you have left and your cookies got harder than rocks in the oven that afternoon, you can be prepared for a good make out session

and with make out session I mean that hyunjin makes out with your pussy

because wow that man knows how to slowly but surely make you forget any stress you've ever felt

soft and plump lips, long and slender fingers

he's THE king of pussy eating

will hum sometimes but will also let you squirm and moan as much as you want so you can't hear it while you are whining

lets you taste yourself after when he kisses you as you come down from your orgasm

"feeling better?"

smiles at you in a sweet way while his chin is all wet from you

Jisung

brags about how good he is with his tongue and at first you don't believe him so he feels obligated to prove his skills to you

and then you never say a bad word about it again because

wow

this man knows how to eat pussy

his tongue gets fast and you swear you've never reached your high this fast in your whole entire life

is a natural at it

pumps some fingers into you during it but honestly you can barely comprehend how you went from bickering

to you on the brink of orgasm in like 5 minutes

will place his hands on your inner thighs

accidentally overstimulates you but regrets nothing

"still in the mood to tease?"

Felix

will start with the hottest kisses any man has ever given

over your panties, then on your clit and goes on to start a whole make out session with your pussy

it's all about the romance so he'll light candles before lol

loves being between your legs and could eat you out all day every day

uses his teeth as well sometimes

and when his lips are all swollen and he looks at you with hooded eyes

that's what makes you shudder during your orgasm

the hands at your waist, the kisses and nibbles to your clit and the delicate strokes of his tongue on your labia

absolutely loves to make you cum multiple times just with his tongue

bonus if you squirt on his face because he'll look at you with his mouth agape and wet

"oh my god, that was so hot."

Seungmin

I got a feeling he loves fingering you

under the table while you're having a game night with your friends

under the blanket while you're watching movies

always preps you

ALWAYS

and when he can he will also use his mouth to give your clit some attention

might fuck you with his tongue

gets hard off how your fingers feel around him as he imagines the same feeling around his dick

will torture himself with the thought until you're at the brink of orgasm and he pulls his cock out

needless to say both of you don't last long

and after he comes in you, he'll push it inside with his fingers and then make you lick his cum off

Jeongin

smirks up at you because he KNOWS

he knows you love to sit on his face and he will flex his jaw muscles while he kisses your labia

puts pressure on your clit with his nose (!!!)

and you look down at him

high key loves it when your legs get shaky and you have to hold on to him to keep your balance

lastly, I just want to paint this image: Jeongin, hair messy against the bedspread, anticipation glazing his face as he looks up to you with his tongue out

thank you for coming to the ted talk

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pamgkrthwrites · 3 years ago

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Angst coming your way. What if in a scenario, Reader is already friends with the gang and all, but they’re the older sibling of the girl the LBD possessed. And they become worried when their sister goes missing. So when they see LBD using their sister as a vessel, then don’t know it’s her and not their sis so they try to run for her, crying tears of joy because they think they’ve found their sister. But MK instantly grabs them and holds them back and Monkey King stands in front of them both to protect them, because they know something they don’t, although MK quickly explains that she’s dangerous. But their sister would never act like that. And that’s when the reality hits and they know that’s not their sister. Not anymore. Sorry if it’s long!! (I might use this prompt myself if I ever feel like it btw)

Finally, I have come to you beautiful angst anon. You make me want to cry! I'm not going to have a character in mind for an x reader as I think it works better for it to be open.

Also sorry if this doesn't perfectly line up with S2E10, I'm at uni with no headphones while writing this and I can't really go and check.

Warning for Season 3 spoilers and emotional labour coming up.

After the Spider Queen's attack, you had not heard a thing from your younger sister. You grew worried as anyone would for a missing family member.

Your parents believed she died during the attack as her last action was going out to find the family cat, but you couldn't believe that. You couldn't lose hope for someone so young, she was only a teenager.

That's why when you got the chance to talk to MK, you took it. Told him you were looking for your sister. He comforted you told you he would help you. The search for her was long, and the more you searched more you believed your parents.

She wouldn't be coming back.

You found yourself glued to MK's friendship group though, and they ended up being huge support towards you. You joined them when MK and Mei went out to train in the desert, you staying on the weird boat with Pigsy, Tang and Sandy.

The following events happened in such a blur they were too fast. Something loud, MK throwing himself into it to keep everyone else save everyone and Sandy pulled you to be behind him.

You weren't even fully aware what was happened, but when you were able to look behind the blue fish demon you saw who MK was fighting, your sister.

Her hair was white and her eyes were glowing a cayn blue. You yelled her name and reached forward only for someone to pull you back by your collar. You turned around to yell at whoever it was, only to come face to face with Sun Wukong.

"Get the engine started, I'll get MK!" Wukong yelled over to Tang.

You saw Wukong summon a cloud and fly over to MK who was fighting your sister. Tears fell from your eyes and you pushed yourself forward to her only to be held in a locking hold via Sandy.

"It'll be okay Y/N, we will find a way to save them." Sandy said as he carried you to inside of the ship.

You cried and kicked.

You couldn't leave her, not after just finding her.

All you could see through your tear eyes however was MK looking up at you with worried eyes.

#lego monkey kid #monkie kid #lmk #self insert #angst #lmk season 3 spoilers

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1000-directions · 2 years ago

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hi! i'm the college/uni anon – thank you for answering so kindly <3 also for being so honest about your experience bc it's so relatable. sending you all the love in the world!! but it really sounds so amazing, that you pulled through to where you got today. (I don't mean to sound condescending at all, I really wish I could go to trade school too) I've been dissociating and ignoring the reality that is my uni degree for the past eight months so this was comforting to hear. lately I've realised how much I need higher education, no matter how much I hate it and it's such a bitter pill to swallow especially bc I always felt dumb and that I could never achieve my goals, bc high school was very hard from me (not from the us btw) and uni is of course even harder. but I need it bc I want financial stability and bc of my terrible health I need an office job... just why does the road to having a good life have to be so hard? again thank you, I obviously wish you hadn't gone through all that pain but it's comforting to hear that other people struggle as well <3

comparing ourselves to others is so toxic, but it's such a hard habit to break, and it's definitely something i still struggle with. if i think about it too hard, i feel like a failure compared to the rest of my family, or compared to people i went to school with (it's my twenty year high school reunion this year and i will NOT be attending, obvs). and i'm not saying this is easy or instinctive, but i do try to more intentionally compare myself to...myself. and i can see where i, personally, have made progress. and i can define success however i want, and it doesn't have to be about school or work or anything like that. it can be like: i've become a better cook over the last few years. i have a few good friends who i have let myself be vulnerable with. i work a job where i help people and my coworkers respect me. i am pretty good at recognizing when i am becoming depressed or anxious and taking steps to avoid backsliding into complete despair. some of these things are just never going to register as success to some people, but they do to me, and i have to remind myself that that's important.

i don't know if this will be helpful for you, but sometimes it's helpful for me. sometimes, i think about the person i was at 18, and how that version of myself had NO idea what my life would look like at 28. and me at 28 had NO idea what my life would look like at 38. i have accomplished things that i never, ever, ever could have imagined that i would accomplish. and that means that there are probably things in my future that i can't even conceive of. things that i can't even imagine are still possible for me.

oh, and another thing i used to say a lot that i haven't said in a while, just in case it's relevant: no decision that you make is going to ruin your life. unless you like murder a person or commit a violent crime, your life will not get fucked up beyond repair because of something you do or a choice that you make. sometimes we make decisions that make things shitty or unpleasant or unbearable for a while, but almost no decision that we make is going to have permanent repercussions on the overall quality of the rest of our lives.

and back to what you were actually saying, i don't know what the education system is like where you are, though i tend to believe that everyone else's must be better than the one here. but here, most schools have some kind of academic guidance and support system, and systems to offer support to students who need accommodations. my therapist wrote a letter that i had anxiety, so i was allowed extra time to complete my exams in grad school. there were many times when i went to school part time while working, because it was easier for me to focus on a few classes at a time. my school also offered options for free and paid tutoring for students who needed extra help. again, i don't know how it works there, but if you are struggling with the structure of being in school, there might be people whose job it is to help you have a more successful experience.

i'm cheering for you, and feel free to drop by and let me know how it's going 💚

#asks #uni anon

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najatheangel · 3 years ago

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Heyyy Najaaa!! How are you doing?? It's honestly been so long since I spoke to you all!! I believe you're focusing more on yourself and taking better care of yourself so that's amazing✨ And I saw your art and really it looks sooo gorgeous😍😍 How do you put aside some time for your hobbies? BTW I wanted to ask you, since when have you been interested in them and what made you interested in it? Anyway I just wanted to see how you're doing, give us a quick life update if you're free💜

I got into uni and I'm studying psychology, the course I desperately wanted to study and it's super exciting ngl. I'm still catching up but I'm having sooo much fun🥺 I can't wait to meet everyone from my uni next year (cause that's when we have offline classes). But yess I've been having a blast but I was bit busy as well. I hope you're doing good as well💜💜

Heyyy Stephiee Lovelie I missed you so so much! I’ve been doing pretty good these days actually I’ve been staying on the grind and having more fun with my friends lately. Thank you so so much It’s been working for the most part and that Jisung piece took 40 lol, but I know what to do better next time. 🥺✨❤️

My advice for that I just to cut off any distractions necessary(whether it be friends, social media, boys, etc..) give yourself a good schedule to work with and give yourself good breaks in between. Lastly stay committed to your tasks or otherwise you’ll start procrastinating. 😊👍🏽

Ouuu that’s a nice question, I’ve always loved art and writing growing up, but what made me more passionate about it is my inspirations such as anime, movies, manga and music artists. What keeps me more motivated is my family and friends to keep me going and help me serve a purpose. That’s what made me discover I love digital art more and tried graphic design too.

Life update: Met another boy and tied the knot with him and I feel like things are going great, but we both have busy schedules and it’s hard to meet up half the time.😭(I might just need a break with boys and love honestly cause yikes. But I be boy crazy.🤦🏾‍♀️)

I also went to a haunted house with my friends and half of our group somehow got lost. I ended falling getting chased by a monster and we stayed up till 3 am eating waffles. Good times. We also might be going to another one and there’s a masquerade party coming up around Halloween so that’s exciting.

I’m so proud of you love keep up the good work Babygirl! I’m so happy your enjoying your year and keeping up on your studies. I honestly wish we went to school together, but seriously I’ll stay in touch and tell you so much more. For now have a good day and take care of yourself. 🥺✨

#this was a lot but you know I have so much tea to spill #my stephie 💜⭐️#my jeno to my jaemin #also my mom too #moots muffins 🧁✨#letters from moots 💌#moots asks #ily 😘😘😘

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seedleaflesssapling · 3 years ago

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Ver 2.0? Turning Point?

I can't really identify to which point in my life that i started to doubt myself but im pretty sure that it was because of UP. Damn, that school, my uni. It do really have the ability to make you feel small; i was in a disadvantaged side when i entered it, you know. I was acquainted, no we did not really talked one-on-one, but i heard when we did introductions - Pisay, UP High, science comprehensive schools, Xavier University, who wouldn't be intimidated by that when you came from Col. Ruperto Abellon National School (who would know where that is? I was lucky enough for a teacher recognized it and my classmates be like 'ahhhhhh,' .....really?! I dont even know where xavier is, it just sounds cool). Another thing is that, i wasn't a stem shs graduate - a leverage(?) or excuse (?) that i always use for them to know that i am at disadvantaged side here, not their competitor, probably a NOBODY. They, being stem graduates, have capstone projects you never thought that they have at that age, but i would hear them saying that it was publish in this journal (whatever, idk the journals lmao, i dont even understand their studies 2nd lmao, but that was some smart shit you know, a shit that makes me feel pathetic for being too proud of my what? Correlational study from inconsistent surveys?!!! Wtf, wtf, wtf). But it was a very good peer pressure you know, i kinda turned it that way. Being left behind, being on the rock bottom, i have no other place to go but up. It wasn't the goal, like making or taking the top spot, i just need to survive.

Inevitably, the exams came. I had hard time adjusting chem but math was kind to me. Who would have thought that i would get two 1.0 at my math subjects for the first semester, the sem that i thought i would barely pass. I was even a CS for that sem. Who would have thought? Our first chemical engineering subject that involves computations was on the list the next semester and the first exam, out of 100 i got something like 20ish. WTF. THAT WAS MY FIRST FAILED EXAM. but no, never did cry but tears were flooding inside. So apparently, i have to focus more on this subject and i did. Some were still failing, but i raised my average up. We also had physics, my first ever physics. I really love physics that time or that sir rommel is just a very good professor. I got the highest score on our second LE, everybody else did fail. Small victories. Not that they lose, but i just won. But i heard one time they were talking about me re: passing the physics exam and even getting a high score. They were uhm.. a guy i really look up to cause his good, the other was a girl that idk but i think she didn't like me back then. They were friends but eventually the girl transferred uni because who cares why. i heard the guy saying something like sin.o gid na si franklin nga taas iya score man, maybe even worse than that, i still look up to the guy even until now. But wtf. I really took it in that time, like i wanted to cry but did not. With all that, i got a fair grade at physics. I still got 1.0 at maths that sem and even maintained being on the CS list. S M I L E. BECAUSE WE HAVE A MIDYEAR CLASS. VERY EXHAUSTING FOR SOMEONE WHO DONT WANT ANYTHING BUT JUST ADJUST, SURVIVE, AND FIND MEANING OF BEING A UP STUDENT. It was just one subject and it was math, but i got 2.0?!!! I have no excuse to that, i am very grateful for the family who accommodated me. After midyear class, i did got sick, it sucks, really sucks. I wanted to file an LOA for the next academic year, it is the only thing i can think of for me to go back on track (i haven't said that my parents pushed me to graduate with latin honor and i wanted to also for my resume to look good because everything else in me is effed up). I really wanted to pause and be free for a while but i also wanted to graduate on time (mostly because i want to give the bitches who dared to have expectations be put on my shoulders not the satisfaction, but the audacity to tell them 'i aint did it for ya') so i asked mama. THANK GOD, SHE DID SAY NA KUNG ANO LANG KAYA MO, AMO LANG DA IH 😭😭🤧🤧 so i enrolled, but went to school late, haven't attended the school opening but all is good. I did kind of reset, just enough for me to face school again.

Second year, it was fucked. I did really love coding on octave and doing sheets at ms excel though. On that year, we have formed the che 103 bagsak group. Together with two of my classmates on 103 and math 55, we became buddies after failing che 103 on the first LE, another 30 over 100 exam hahahahaha. We made bawi just enough for us to pass the subject hahahahahuhu. I have thermodynamics sub, i barely pass. Thank G na wala ko nag removal. If ever i did, i am so sure that i wont make it. My GWA for that sem was not enough for me to be a CS. Who cares? I still did, actually but mama was never been too pushy since then, even since after midyear, after getting that 2.0 grade from the only subject i am good at. Btw, my math 55 for first sem, second year, was 1.25. Not a 1.0 but still, it's good. Second semester that year was when pandemic hit so there's nothing much to tell. I was, sorry but i was really, glad to be away from school for a while, not until for a while became forever. Virtual university set-up was very hard. With too much from taking in whatever i see and hear on my surroundings, even just at home, everything is difficult. It is very hard to find motivation and discipline in studying when i was surrounded with people who do nothing. Even to this point i am writing, everyday is like a battle, but is mostly an internal one. Self vs self, a war no one knows who will win. So the confidence, the tower of knowledge i did build, exponentially went down. I did really well when i was in grade 10, i did my best that time and it can be seen at the achievements i had that year. Being consistently on top 1 the whole year, placing second on division MMC (even getting the highest score on the written elimination round for the whole cluster), doing well sa physics under maam andico, placings on cluster journalism competitions - it was like a record best, best record (?) Whatever. But it wasn't enough you know, i eventually came fourth like wtf. I had read from somewhere Newton saying like the two years when he did write the three laws of motion and the calculus stuff were the two best years of his life, and it kept me thinking that what if mine already passed? That it was when i was in high school?

But, back when i was in school, every time that i was belittling myself or even at random times that i would feel nervous for nothing, my classmates and close friends would say na:

Uno mo man ang Math, uno mo na na (it was a one or two time thing, what if chamba lang to???)

Ikaw man highest sa first le sa thermo (it was really an absolutely one time thing, i barely passed that sub)

Alam ka man sa physics (i was just invested on physics and maybe nachambahan lang na ang ginpractice ko solve kay parallel sa exam ni sir)

Alam ka, d ka lang confident (OKAY???!)

I was ignoring those shit cause who cares if i did really good that time. Yeah, it felt good but it wasn't fulfilling. Satisfied but not happy. But with recent events, i think i would be changing. This post will be a written contract that i will push to be better, to start trusting myself, and build that confidence glow behind me; to believe that i am bright and i can hack it, whatever it may be.

For coherence, i would itemize na lang all of the events that brought me to epiphany lol

It was Friday, 17 Sep, when Dean, in our plant design subject, gave an activity for us - to come up with solutions that would address problems he presented. 1 off grid island community (either you address the water, electricity, and phone reception/signal problem under a 100k budget) and 2 vinegar packaging with a 500 mL volume and should cost less than the cost of vinegar. The due's on Monday, 20 Sep. The challenge is that you should come up with an idea that is not the same with those who already turned in their proposed solutions. I haven't turned in mine until Sunday afternoon. We are 23 in class, hence there should be 23 proposed solutions for each problem. However, only 20 or 21 turned in their solutions and as a student who decided to do it three days after the sheet was given, i was at the second to the last of the entries hahaha. I have limited choice since a lot have been proposed. And ngl, i did entered my idea for the first problem at Sunday evening and for the second problem it was on the afternoon of the next day. Those were basic solutions cause who am I? Am just your basic guy.

Tuesday, 21 Sep (#NeverForget #NeverAgain), class again for plant design (PD). Dean discussed stuffs which im ngl, i did not listen because im bored (not until he said 'we'll have a 5-min break and we'll have a quiz after that' like wtf, how will we do our quiz???!). After the short break, I did study cause i panicked as hell, he presented the prospects of the course, that we will be divided in groups and that the leaders were chosen based on the solutions they turned in the activity previously given. So there's no quiz, i was calm the whole time after that until my name was called. Like wtf??! Your basic guy will be a leader???! Hello!!! So i chat people, asked them if it was a good thing (course it was!!!? So dumb right?!). And then, i asked another leader and she agreed to my argument that we should only be divided into six instead of seven as what dean has decided. So i chatted dean (pic below). I just accepted the role half-heartedly.

As leaders, we should be hiring people for our team and we should make pubs. I dont have a canva account to help me do pubs. I made mine at MS ppt HAHAHAHAHAHA but im good so its cute. We were assigned with projects and i get to have the 4-member team. The vacant roles were project maven and liaison officer for a 3-member team. In my pubs, i included scrummaster as position to be filled, cause who am i to lead?! So yeah, that's it. I did the pubs Wednesday and I submitted my resume Thursday (third to the last hahahaha but my resume's cute hahaha).

Thursday. So i had this invite by a classmate to join the Shell event long time ago. He was reaching out for someone to ask Dean for his approval because Dean did not replied to the email he sent. So, i volunteered. I really want this competition cause this will be my first and maybe last competition as a UP student. So i DMed dean and blah blah blah he asked for selection process. I relayed the message and apologize to them for being me because i was thinking that it was me who made him come up with the decision of having the team be selected. Like, wtf i was just asking for his approval. Getting kicked out of the team was not my intention. Those whom i chatted that night were telling me that it wasn't my fault blah blah blah. So i half-heartedly agreed to them.

Friday came, yesterday, the interview. I am very anxious for someone who will be the one asking the applicants lmao. I already have been interviewed before for college applications and somehow remember the feeling, nerve wracking, whatever. To calm my nerves, i listed questions which i never got to ask properly btw, but at least i have concrete ideas on what to ask. The first interviewee was my very closed friend and so we just laugh and laugh and laugh HAHAHAHAHA. IDK if dean saw it but who cares. And the next and next and next. 3:30 passed by fast and guess what??? YOUR BASIC GUY HAS THE MOST NUMBER OF APPLICANTS TO THE POINT THAT DEAN CUT MY LIST. IT WAS EXHAUSTING BUT VERY FLATTERING. I FEEL SO HONORED. i really thought and very scared at the thought that no one will apply to me but wtf, just wtf. Ranking my applicants was damn hard. 1 i have a dream team but one was cut by dean; 2 this could make my friends mad; 3 this will be the group for the whole year; 4 i am really exhausted. But still, i submitted the list. I was hoping for the people i chose to choose me back. Only two out of three did, i am forever grateful.

Still on Friday, the classmate who invited me to the Shell thing and Dean had a zoom call and discussed about the competition. That classmate told dean what i told him the other day that i might be the reason for the decision of having the selection process done. He told me this through a voice memo, katamad daw magtype. A voice message that i played over and over again. Dean actually find me interesting (?), Invested (?) Idk exactly but the classmate told me na 'may nakikita daw talaga sya sayo. Na grabe ka ka-practical as a person like yung ideas mo daw sa plant design napakasimple lang pero napaka practical to the point daw na madami nag apply sayo kanina. And then, you need more confidence lang daw talaga' so ig, you basic guy is a practical guy now. It's just flattering.

Now, whatever happens, i must meet those expectations right? This could be a lousy motivation but what is if there's none? I dont know why im writing this. I just thought i should get my thoughts out. Ver 2.0? Turning point? Let's just do good 😌

PS I put this on my bio on FB, guess im getting more public, and if you happened to read this because you saw the link on my bio, send me a message about you thoughts.

PPS if your initials are JTZC, these have been my week and i miss you even though you're not interested in me anymore, you are hard to forget

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years ago

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Sick Kids Group Chat

sonmychest: 🤗 tigerbalm: 👋🧡 tigerbalm: it's been so long! 🙀 how are you?? sonmychest: I know! I suck sonmychest: don't want to be the youtuber spending ten minutes apologizing for not being here though sonmychest: I'm doing pretty good right now, how are you? 😚 tigerbalm: it's a bad day, not a bad life...is what I would caption if I was an instagram influencer or something 😸😸 brainpain: 🦸 speaking for me when I haven't streamed in days LOL sonmychest: 🤭🤭 sonmychest: at least we have reasons for being that #extra that aren't the vague notion of NEEDING a break from taking pictures of our ☕ brainpain: I do spend LOTS of time in a dark room but not for 📸 no flash photography PLEASE 😵 inandout: your feed just updated, Lo brainpain: 👮🚓🚨 sonmychest: stalking or hacking? sonmychest: either way I might need those expertise brainpain: I had a 🌈✨🧁 FIGHT ME, Zachary tigerbalm: it is pretty tbh inandout: friend request, but it's not as if I don't have zero hacking or stalking skills sonmychest: wait, what happened to the anonymity rules??? sonmychest: where's @gotspoons and what have you done with her?! inandout: you missed the overthrowing of a tyrant inandout: not really, but the rule book is gone gotspoons: going to pretend I was summoned by mention, not notification gotspoons: say how you really feel, Zach! 😔 inandout: I said not really, rowboat gotspoons: I have 👀 and 👂 everywhere so you better be nice 😏🤭 gotspoons: but no, hi again, @sonmychest! we missed you! gotspoons: it seemed the whole no names no real life details thing was more of a hindrance than a help to the whole goal of this group, so we came to the conclusion by majority, and the higher ups were all okay with it, providing everyone under a certain age got their parents to sign off and we all used the same common sense we use on other areas of the web gotspoons: so feel free to introduce yourself by real name if you would like, but it's not necessary if you would not 😊 gotspoons: reintroduce, I should say tigerbalm: we shared selfies & everyone was 😻😻😻 brainpain: learned what a sex god @tooexhaustedtolivevicariously aka Rich is sonmychest: 😱😱😱 sonmychest: can't believe I've missed so much sonmychest: need to get better at socialization, my mammy is right 😂 brainpain: an unrivalled love story brainpain: not that he's here to back me up on that inandout: Paris and Helen who? Romeo and Juliet who? Anne Boleyn and Henry VIII who? tigerbalm: wait, those are all 💔😿!! brainpain: he's being a brainpain: insert a swear word of your choice sonmychest: *stage whispers* it's not jealousy though, is it? sonmychest: clearly, fill me in on all the nuances whilst I frantically try to find a picture of myself that's even one 😻 brainpain: he's a 👶 you already know brainpain: but Rich will be leaving me for some uni girl 🤓 so he's not wrong about the doomed part sonmychest: face that launched a thousand ships is a really great insta bio though sonmychest: right, so we have Rich, Zach...who else? gotspoons: Rosie here 🤗 brainpain: Lauren tigerbalm: & me, Robyn inandout: the new girl who started the revolution is Zelda inandout: @ihatemyguts sonmychest: no way sonmychest: a fellow nerd, or at least child-of-a-nerd sonmychest: 'cos I'm Kara and I don't totally hate this photo [selfie] tigerbalm: 😻😻 tigerbalm: you look so like I imagined you, except I thought maybe you'd be 👼 tigerbalm: should we all send new pics? brainpain: [does because any excuse] brainpain: they'll be buried tigerbalm: [a selfie that's even shyer than the first one she sent] gotspoons: [the same photo as before] inandout: if I must [some ridiculous selfie] tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: This is a nice welcome back tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: and I've only been to physio brainpain: NOT ready for another selfie drop from you, boy brainpain: I'll be on my fainting couch brainpain: also hi tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Perhaps I should save your 🦴s and my pride when poor Kara, hello again btw, has to pretend to swoon too brainpain: 🦸 has great taste brainpain: we all love a shy boy tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: My teachers undoubtedly wish I were shy, make their lives a lot easier tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: [a photo] here we are anyway, I hope you found a soft surface suitable for you, Lauren brainpain: ☁ tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Ah, so you're the 👼 brainpain: LMAO 😈 brainpain: but you're looking angelic sir sonmychest: how are you ALL so cute sonmychest: this keeps happening, omg tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 👼 face hides a multitude of 😈 sins apparently inandout: but reading between the lines, who else is making you swoon/stalk/hack inandout: that's my question tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Well spotted, Zachary 🔎 sonmychest: 🙈 ugh, I'm so embarrassing sonmychest: but we can pretend it's all spilling out now because I played it SO cool in the actual conversation, right 😬😅 inandout: that's the official story, everyone'll confirm sonmychest: thanks, I need the backup so I can also pretend I have lots of friends and a normal social life gotspoons: we are your friends, Kara! gotspoons: though are normal is different from most tigerbalm: & you're coming to my birthday party & even though you have to stand on the other side of the room to Zach, it's still social tigerbalm: OH & we were talking about potentially meeting up!! All of us brainpain: keep it 6ft, children inandout: I'll be in the garden with my date, you can have the indoors with yours inandout: collectively, because we're all speed dating here now inandout: proud of you for picking someone outside this circle sonmychest: GAH so much exciting information today!!! sonmychest: 😁 sonmychest: obviously, I figured no one needed the drama of me falling for you, Zach sonmychest: 💀 not cute inandout: there's already a book and film about it, the chance has been thoroughly missed brainpain: Ignore him, Zelda's nothing but thrilled to find someone else in her age bracket brainpain: 👶👶 brainpain: hit us with your 💞 please sonmychest: well, I didn't just re-log into this chat today, I went on all my old forums because well, boredom, we can all relate, right? sonmychest: what I thought would be the least promising one was the sonmychest: not a dating site, I'm not 100 but you know the kind sonmychest: anyway, the CUTEST boy starts talking to me and he's also really funny and nice ??? tigerbalm: OMG! Did you swap selfies there too? sonmychest: not yet sonmychest: because he sounds so 😻😻 sonmychest: and he wants to talk to me again and he might not if we do tigerbalm: you're 😻😻😻 Kara brainpain: what she said brainpain: + if he's as funny, nice, all of that, as you said brainpain: I doubt he's a shallow jerk inandout: are you a good judge of character or not? inandout: what it comes down to sonmychest: oh, thank you guys! sonmychest: I don't know sonmychest: I think I am sonmychest: he didn't immediately come out with weird requests or weird 📸 of his own and that's a massive start on that site, I was honestly there to 🗑 my account but he changed my mind brainpain: I'll PM you the spooky stories my sister sends me about guys, it'll make you feel better brainpain: you'd know if he was one sonmychest: 🤭 do, can compare notes sonmychest: we honestly just talked about totally normal, nerdy things, it wasn't even a little sketch brainpain: ✉️ + 100000000s brainpain: hold up tigerbalm: that sounds 🧡 & so does this boy tigerbalm: awwhhh sonmychest: [sends the description he sent her slow your roll gal lol] sonmychest: assuming he isn't the archetypal internet weirdo from the 90s scare tactics tigerbalm: WOW inandout: tall, dark and handsome inandout: original sonmychest: okay, I know that covers a lot of bases sonmychest: but someone has to be brainpain: continuing to ignore you, Zach sonmychest: I get it though sonmychest: it's not like I even care what he looks like though, so even if the pics aren't exactly that description brainpain: not every man can be my Rich but doesn't make them 👹/🤡/👻/👽/👥 brainpain: trust your gut, it's not that body part that's failing you tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 👹 is a solid representation but the hair needs to be longer tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: at the risk of making myself or Zachary appear like overly protective boys, I think as long as you're as sensible as you surely are with this, then there's no harm in the back and forth tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: so if you were going to meet this person IRL, he could perhaps come to the group meet-up, that would be a good way to do it? brainpain: *🧝🏻 that's what needs to be said about your representation tigerbalm: Great idea, Rich! 😺 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: when the beard comes in I'll look more Gimli than Elrond but I'll take the compliment 👽 babe from outerspace brainpain: who's watching the LoTRs with me? gotspoons: count me out, I'm the worst film buddy ever 😴 ihatemyguts: how many naps could you have in 20hr28mins assuming we're watching everything extended release 'cos duh ihatemyguts: 🥳 go hard or go home 🥳 brainpain: that's you in ihatemyguts: of course ihatemyguts: long since stopped asking for a pause every time I gotta 💩 ihatemyguts: adept at catching up with the plot is a life skill I didn't expect to gain like this but 🙌 gotspoons: 😅 I could do the whole 20hr28mins and that not be a record for how many hours I've slept consecutively brainpain: I'll act it out for you, I can get the 🧝🏼🏹 costume together during the pauses brainpain: dressing up box runneth over sonmychest: 🙋 dibs Arwen sonmychest: my old Katniss cosplay can be repurposed with some bedsheets and a 👸 vibe to it brainpain: that makes Rich your daddy 👀 you, babe sonmychest: 😖😳 nooooooooooo brainpain: I'll be Galadriel if only so I can speak to my man telepathically 💕 brainpain: swerving off book for that love connection ihatemyguts: obviously eye of sauron ihatemyguts: jokes write themselves inandout: hair of a hobbit wig so likewise inandout: and you know, a jew, gonna be the one to handle the 💎 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: How hairy are your feet, a pickup line that doesn't get thrown about enough inandout: not sending you free feet pics inandout: PM for prices though tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Respect the hustle, Zachary tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: but I have clearly pledged myself and my allegiance to an e-girl already 🧝🏼🏹 brainpain: changed my Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim name to Galadriel for you, Richard, you've officially made me basic brainpain: will cite it in the divorce tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: as long as I can proudly produce said divorce to every mouthbreather that calls me a freak, I am okay with that tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: devastated, naturally 💔 but okay brainpain: hit me up for multiple re-marriages at your convenience, I like that for us tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Make a solid livestream 👰💒🤵 gotspoons: I'll get officiated! tigerbalm: imagine if any of us actually did get together cos of this forum gotspoons: You never know, Robyn gotspoons: it would be so adorable 😊 tigerbalm: Kara is giving me hope that online dating doesn't have to be a minefield sonmychest: don't give up yet! sonmychest: you're so lovely, a total catch tigerbalm: there still isn't a blushing 😸 emoji & I NEED it ihatemyguts: a travesty ihatemyguts: who do we need to @ for that brainpain: @fibrofog brainpain: he was a BIG DEAL ihatemyguts: 😏 hoping he comes back and I can 👰💒🤵 him obvs brainpain: 🔺 between me/him/Rich was prime in my life ihatemyguts: glory dayz brainpain: if he doesn't show up to stop our first wedding ihatemyguts: Zach won't even properly date me until we're confirmed #foreveralone at 18 inandout: you don't call this properly dating? inandout: @Kara you've got yourself a hater before your romance has fully taken off ihatemyguts: oi, don't drag me in to your 🧂 behaviour ihatemyguts: I'm very nice, I swear inandout: that's just how I taste inandout: she knows brainpain: if I didn't know my CF facts I'd be calling for a ban brainpain: that sounds filthy sonmychest: first declaring Rich my daddy, now 👅 Zach 😲😲😲 sonmychest: I'm also quite nice but not that kind of nice, I 🤞 tigerbalm: I don't think I wanna know.... inandout: But I'll tell you inandout: when we sweat, we lose too much salt, one of our many flaws inandout: on a hot day, you could lick us and taste it, if we like you enough to let you sonmychest: maybe that can be enough of a selling point? sonmychest: if crush boy talks to me again and it invariably comes up inandout: he might get to see it crystallise on your skin, not 💎 or ✨ but hey sonmychest: such a sexy condition, when you leave out all the mucus inandout: ZZ top is feeling it, she wants to properly date me ihatemyguts: 🧂 is a flavour I can enjoy pretty unrestricted ihatemyguts: let me have some pleasure tigerbalm: do the normies flirt like this too? tigerbalm: Kara you'll have to tell us, when you go further undercover ihatemyguts: don't know how lucky you are to have that pickup line in your back pocket ihatemyguts: just add tequila and a lemon and you've got a good time sonmychest: I'll 100% report back, providing he doesn't go 👻 brainpain: you need a drink when a boy lovingly strokes your hair only to feel the dent in your 💀 sonmychest: but also, to work out if your amazing hair is real or nah brainpain: I have too many split ends to be asked if it's a wig sonmychest: I ✂ my own sonmychest: and not often enough 😅 brainpain: don't reach for the bleach cos Robbie sees you as a blonde, there's my sisterly/old lady advice sonmychest: oh God, with these brows? sonmychest: I can swear I won't do that, along with meet up with internet randos alone brainpain: I'd volunteer to come along but I don't do disappearing into the background brainpain: would wear a trenchcoat for the right 💸💸 gotspoons: Normies definitely TRY to use our disabilities as a way to flirt with us, with varying success gotspoons: the amount of time I spend in bed is nothing to be 😏 about, honestly gotspoons: even if I was also chiming in to confirm blondes do have more fun, when they've had all their vitamins, a perfect amount of sleep, the stars have aligned JUST right... 🤭 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: as resident ♿ user, they most ask if IT 'works', which is a bizarre level of care for people who aren't concerned about how me getting into their establishment really 'works' tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: and, my dear, you are a terrible third wheel tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 🔻 suits you better than obscurity 😎 brainpain: but I am a fun time with the TBI having increased the impulsiveness + removing the few inhibitions I did have 😉 brainpain: inappropriate sexual activity is a listed symptom 🤞 boys ihatemyguts: definitely a case of 'okay when I point it out to embolden myself, creepy if you do it' ihatemyguts: think some normies point out their flaws to be endearing but idk, is low-key a disability superpower guys, + 1 for us brainpain: like, what does that mean? Inappropriate for who? Answers on a ✉️ please ihatemyguts: could range from, science, you're being a prude to calling you a master criminal on the low brainpain: so many of my symptoms could describe anyone in their teens or early 20s brainpain: Rich, write a smart boy uni essay on it tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: depending on the bit that gets damaged, could be the same part that isn't yet fully developed in young people tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: checks out 🧠 brainpain: you're SO clever brainpain: you'll be fighting off more than one 🤓 girl tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: I'm not sure about that, on either count tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: though the chair is a useful battering ram when it needs to be brainpain: I'm into it tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: then you can hitch a ride, of course brainpain: reserved™ tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: the parking is unparalleled brainpain: not allowed to drive, you are my transport now, no pressure gotspoons: Me either, who can? gotspoons: need to work out the carpool situation brainpain: my housemate will, she owes me 10000s of favours inandout: + my parents tigerbalm: mine too but they're a lot to inflict upon anyone sonmychest: ^^hard same tigerbalm: maybe we get ourselves there unless someone can't? tigerbalm: & those people speak up sonmychest: That makes sense to me brainpain: ok, is there anyone who needs a lift? ihatemyguts: I'm good tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: likewise gotspoons: I'll make a permanent post where people can register interest in the meet-up, as well as need for a lift gotspoons: so anyone who can offer a lift, can respond there too, sound good guys? 😊 inandout: cool inandout: very un-tyrant like gotspoons: thank you, Zach 😏

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