#can’t wait to scream this at the concert next week

[comradekarin]

WHOLE LOTTA FAKE ASS, SNAKE ASS, BACK STABBING HATING ASS, NO MONEY GETTING ASS BITCHES !! YALL ACTING REALLY UNGRATEFUL IM SPARING YOU HOES !! I BEEN COULD HAVE FUCKED YALL NIGGA

[suugarbabe]

Rockstar!Sirius Black has me in a chokehold. I’m obsessed with my wife @finalgirllx and thankful for the work she put in for me for these two edits and I hope everyone is pulling their hair out at them as much as me.

This little blurb is for my second wife @thatdammchickennugget ‘s hogmarch challenge.

Prompt: fire whiskey / are you speaking parseltongue or am I really that drunk

Warnings: fluff; mentions of bar/drinking;

You don’t really know how you got here. At this party that is. One day your muggle friend is begging you to come to a concert with her. Two weeks later she has you sleeping on a side-walk waiting to get in. “I really want to get barricade,” she says. And you love her so you comply. When you manage to get it, you’re just as shocked as she is. Arms crossed on the bar, elbows hanging over the barricade as music plays from the speakers while everyone waits for the band to appear.

You assume it’s a four person group; you see a drum set, a keyboard, a guitar with a mic stand and a bass guitar. You’re wracking your brain for the name of the band, your friends mentioned it probably a million times in the last hour alone but you’ve been so focused on not a Avada-ing any of the other millions of girls around who seem to want to keep pushing against your back to get closer to whoever this band seems to be.

It’s when the curtain falls that your heart nearly stops. It had to be a coincidence, right? The fact that this band happens to have the same name as the infamous group of pranking boys from your school years. But all your nervous fears are confirmed when they start strolling on to the stage, you recognize the others in an instant, but the one that catches your eye most intensely slings the guitar over his shoulder, a shit eating smirk gracing his lips as his tucks his hair behind his ear.

“Blimey, what a turn out, yeah lads?” The guitarist turns slightly where he stands, glancing at his friends behind him who are all nodding and shouting, pumping their fists in the air with the screams of fans in front of them. The guitarist turns back towards the crowd, eyes scanning over the sea of people until they come to the front and lock with yours. Your friend besides you starts shaking with giddy excitement as he speaks his next words into the mic, her arm hooking with yours. But you can’t tear your eyes away from his piercing gaze, “In case any of you’ve forgotten, we’re The Marauders and-”

Being barricade had its benefits because you heard the drummer shout, “Oi, Pads, get on with it, will ya, let’s give em a show, yeah?” Sirius laughs into the mic and your thrust back to being seventeen and pining after the long haired boy at the back of your advanced potions class. “Alright, Prongs, don’t lose yer head, mate. Who’s ready to fucking rock out?” Sirius strummed his guitar and the crowd erupted in cheers and screams. The entire concert was a bit of a blur. One because you didn’t know any of their songs, but two because it seemed like any time Sirius looked towards the front of the crowd, he looked right at you, and your friends and the girls surrounding you seemed to lose their mind at the concept.

When the concert finally ended you watched your old classmates take in the cheers and praise. James threw both his drumsticks into the crowd, Remus tossed a few picks as well. Reggie stepped from behind the keyboard, taking his setlist with him and passing it to the security guard to give to a random girl. Sirius, however, seemed to have a different plan. The girls around you seemed to be panting with anticipation as Sirius took a marker from a stage hand and laid down on his stomach, pulling the cap from the marker with his teeth before writing on his setlist on the ground. Capping the pen, he pulled the setlist off the ground slowly, folding the tape over the edges before folding the setlist into fours.

What really made everyone around you go into a frenzy was Sirius jumping down from the stage and walking straight up to you at barricade and holding the paper towards you with a smile. “Here,” Sirius grabbed your wrist, placing the folded setlist into your hand, “open it when you leave the venue. Was nice seeing you again, love. S’been too long since the last time.” Sirius then turned his attention to the people around you, shaking hands and signing a few autographs but it all sounded muffled to yours ears as it seemed like all the blood was rushing to your head as you were rushing out of the crowd, you friend close behind.

“Uhm, hello? Are you gonna tell me what the fuck that was back there?” You were walking as fast as you could without sprinting, your friend hot on your heels. “Y/n/n!” You turned abruptly to face her, her stopping roughly in her tracks. “What!” You were nearly screaming before taking a deep breath, “I’m sorry, erm, I’m sorry. I just…I haven’t seen those guys in a long time and it was just a little…overwhelming.” Your friend nodded, the grin never leaving her face, “How do you even know them, can we open the letter now, what does it say?”

You rolled your eyes, grabbing the note from your pocket. Unfolding it you finally answered her questions, “We went to school together, believe it or not they were very popular and I was…well…not. I had a few classes with the others and well Sirius was…friends with some of my friends, let’s say. Honestly I didn’t even expect him to recognize me once I realized they were the band we were seeing and…” your thoughts and words seem to die on your lips as your eyes scanned the setlist in your hands, Sirius’s sloppy scrawl strewn across in black marker. Your friend raised her eyebrows impatiently, turning your hands towards her so she could see what had you at such a loss, a gasp leaving her as she did so. “Is that a fucking address…”

So maybe you did know how you got to this party, your friend begging and pleading until you agreed to go. “It’s only polite, he did invite you after all,” she had said. You knew her agenda was more so to gain an opportunity to see the boys up close, so you didn’t argue when as soon as you entered the private bar she immediately went on the hunt. You, on the other hand, went straight for a drink, or two, or four. You were working on yet another firewhiskey when a rough voice spoke your last name from behind you. Turning around, you attempted to control your blush, “Black. Long time no see.” You did your best to keep your tone casual, like your heart wasn’t beating out of your chest.

Per expected Sirius was nothing but charming and smooth, “I didn’t expect to see a friend in the crowd tonight, you caught me slightly off guard I have to admit.” You clasped onto your drink with both hands, hoping the coolness of the glass would offset the heat that was rapidly spreading through your body, “You consider us friends? I didn’t even think you’d recognize me.” Sirius’s gaze turned what you could only describe as tender, “I would’ve failed Advanced Charms if you hadn’t put up with me for two whole terms. If spending endless weeks in the library didn’t make us friends, what then developed between us, nothing?”

No, just my raging school girl crush on you is all. You shook your head, mouth opening and slightly stammering, no explanation coming to mind. “Pads, you’re not scaring y/n/n away are you? Gonna make us not see her for another three years again?” Sirius huffed a slightly annoyed breath, “Yeah, Moony, the reason we haven’t seen her is strictly my fault, not that our band took off or anything.” Sirius jabs a thumb over his shoulder as he glances back at you as if to say, the nerve of this guy. “She didn’t even think I’d recognize her, or considered us friends! Can you believe that?”

The taller boy greeted you with a warm and familiar smile, the scar stretching over his top lip thinning with the action, “Well I certainly don’t blame her for the latter. But we’re still friends, aren’t we, dove?” Remus took a step forward, wrapping you in a tight and friendly embrace. “Hi, Rem,” you mumbled just loud enough over the bar music. Remus was gruffly pulled away from you to reveal a pouting face with glasses and a mop of curly hair, “Not consider us friends? Did seven agonizing years of potions together mean absolutely nothing to you?”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at the dramatics, “Hi, Jamie. ‘ve missed you.” You open your arms for a hug and are quickly embraced in a bear-like squeeze, “Missed you too shortcake. Been too long.” A second body joins your hug from behind, “Yeah, it’s been too long.” James pushes him off before letting you go, “Whydya have to do that Reg, you ambushed my hug.” Regulus opens his mouth to argue when a throat clearing catches all of your guys' attention. You turn to see your friend clearly doing her best not to freak out at the scene before her. You turn the the boys, pushing your friend slightly in front of you, “Guys this is my friend Órlaith. She brought me to your show. Big fan, her. Órlaith, this is Reg, Jamie, Rem and Sirius.”

The four boys all flashed award winning smiles while your friend managed a meek ‘hi’ and a slight wave. “So you didn’t just have classes with them, you were friends with the fucking Marauders,” Órlaith wacked your arm, causing James and Regulus to burst out in laughter. Remus leaned in close to your friend, a hand shielding one side of his mouth while pointing a thumb back at James, “Y/n/n, here actually helped make sure this one graduated on time.” James crossed his arms in mock offense, “Is he talking shite love? Moony, don’t fill her head with lies we’ve only just met.”

Sirius slung his arm over her shoulder, whispering in her ear, “Actually, I’d like to catch up with Y/l/n. You mind if I steal her for a moment? Think you can watch these gits, keep them in line for me while I’m away?” She gave a timid nod and Sirius flashed her his knee weakening grin. Remus shot Sirius a knowing look, one you completely missed as you were too busy focusing on Sirius lacing his fingers in yours and dragging you towards a roped off section of the bar. You tried to will your palm to not be clammy as you downed the last of your drink, setting the glass on a passing table. As Sirius led you up the few steps and past the velvet rope he settled you both down at a table in the corner.

With a wave of his wrist the music and sound of the crowd disappeared. “See? A perfect silencing charm. Wouldn’t have been able to do that without your help in years past, friend,” Sirius emphasized the last word, wiggling his eyebrows. You laughed slightly, eyes rolling, “Yes, I’m very proud of you. However, that hasn’t stopped the gaggle of girls staring at us.” You motioned toward at least four women you could see clearly shooting daggers your way at a private talk with the leading man. Sirius shrugged his shoulders, eyes never leaving your direction, “I don’t care about them, my focus is on you.”

Your face seemed to stay in a permanent state of blush with Sirius’s full attention solely on you. “Now tell me, sweetheart. Did you really not consider us friends all those years? I mean, I thought we were pretty close. If I recall we’ve drunkenly fallen asleep on a few couches and floors together. Who else does that besides very good friends?” You nervously summon a drink before you, taking the glass and trying to hide half your face behind it while you take a long gulp. Your eyes scan over Sirius’s face, taking in the changes, or lack thereof, from the last time you saw him.

He still has that same boyish charm, that grin the tends to sneak onto his face when he knows he’s being charming. His hair is still gorgeous, long and flowing, though maybe slightly greasier than your school years, but you’re sure that’s part of his rockstar aesthetic. His forearms now adorn multiple tattoos and from what you know of Sirius there’s probably more hidden elsewhere. He had a few more piercings now, and his jawline was more refined now that he was no longer a teenager, but what remained exactly the same was always your favorite part of him; his eyes.

Sirius always had the most captivating eyes; a deep russet brown that seemed to change with his mood and whether he was telling the truth or not. Either that or you had just spent so much time staring at him you began to figure out his tells without anyone else realizing. “You’re telling the truth, you really considered us good friends didn’t you?” Sirius laughed lightly, looking down at his lap before meeting your eyes once more, “Yes, I’m telling the truth.” You shook your head, “That wasn’t a question, it was a statement, I can tell when you’re lying. I just can’t believe you’re being serious.”

“Well I’m always Sirius, darling.” You rolled your eyes at his favorite pun, going to bring your drink back to your lips. Sirius, however, had other plans, stealing to glass from your hands and downing the rest himself. You opened your mouth to scold him but he got his words out first, “How can you – blimey, love no mixer really? Merlin’s fucking beard – how can you tell when I’m lying? I like to think I’m quite subtle at hiding the truth.” You sat up a bit straighter, tucking your legs underneath you on the couch. Normally you would never admit anything, especially not to Sirius himself, but your filter seemed to be turned off thanks to the many firewhiskey’s now running through your system.

You leaned your elbow on the back of the couch, facing Sirius now with your head resting against your fist, “Your eyes turn a shade or two darker when you’re lying. Normally they’re just this beautiful deep brown color that looks like the sun is shining directly on them, even when you’re inside and there’s not even a window in sight. But when you’re lying it’s like all the mischief you’ve got cooking in your brain is overheating and it deepens the color.” If you weren’t feeling so tipsy you probably would’ve noticed the deep blush that spread over Sirius’s cheeks. But being himself he couldn’t let you stop there, “What else have you seemed to notice over the years, huh sweet girl?”

Subconsciously you knew you’d regret it in the morning, but your ability to stop your mouth from rambling seemed to be null. “You tend to chew on your top lip when you’re concentrating, not the entire thing, just one of the corners. You did it tonight during your guitar solo, which was actually pretty fantastic. I'm very proud of you, Siri. And I only noticed you do that because it’s different from other people, usually people bite their bottom lip, but you bite your top,” Sirius touched his top lip with his fingertips as you continued, “And I know when you’re laughing just to be polite and when you’re laughing for real because your fake laugh is this polite little chuckle where you nod your head to make the other person think you’re really paying attention, but your real laugh is so much better. You throw your head back, and your hair falls from your face and it’s real hearty and deep and your smile stays bright for moments afterwards.” You let out a long sigh, your eyes keeping this distance look to them like you were recalling an exact moment for each aspect you just described. “Merlin, I was just so in…I just had the biggest crush on you back then.”

Sirius blinked a few times in disbelief, shaking his head and trying to clear his thoughts because there was definitely no way he heard what he just thought he heard, “I’m sorry, love. Are you speaking parseltongue or am I really that drunk?” You scoffed slightly, “Excuse me?” Sirius quickly held his hands up in defense, “No, no! I just meant that – oh for Godric’s sake, I’m gonna muck this up I just know it–” You grabbed his wrists, effectively stopping his spiraling tangent, “Sirius!” He looked up at you, eyes meeting yours and just like you said, they looked like the sun was hitting them directly despite being in the back corner of a dark bar, “I never needed help with charms.”

Your face contorted in confusion, “Sorry, erm, what?” Sirius closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. He opened his eyes once more, making sure you were looking back at him so you would see he was telling the truth, “I never needed help with charms, I would fuck up spells on purpose because I wanted to spend more time with you.” You shook your head, “But Remus said…”

“I lied to Moony,” Sirius cut you off, “Well, I tried to lie to him at first. I told him I was failing and I asked him to ask you to be my tutor but the bloody git knows everything, saying shit like ‘I know you’re at the top of our class Sirius meh meh meh’, so I asked him to lie for me.” You shook your head, “Why would you do that?” Sirius placed his hands on either side of your face, your hands still holding his wrists, “Because I had an insanely huge crush on you that I kept trying to deny and Moony could see it a mile away. I’m surprised you missed it with everything else you seemed to notice.” You smiled at him, a real genuine relaxed smile, then he spoke again, “Past tense probably isn’t the right usage. After seeing you tonight, I can humbly admit that all those feelings are very much still here. You believe me, don’t you?”

Sirius tilted your head up so you were looking directly at him. He widened his eyes dramatically, staring at you intensely and causing you to giggle. You squinted your eyes at him briefly, making it look like you were really studying him, “Hmm..clear as day. Yes, Siri, I believe you.” Sirius let out a long breath, “Thank merlin, because I’ve been dying to do this since I was on stage.” Sirius’s lips met yours with a gentle fervent, intensifying only when you fisted the front of his t-shirt, pulling him harder into you. You pulled apart only when you were short of breath, both panting heavily. “Remus is going to lose his mind,” Sirius chuckled, grin never leaving his face. You glanced over his shoulder, flicking your wrist and breaking the silencing charm only to be met with cheers and whistles so loud they floated over the rustle of the bar, “I think he already has, they all have.” Sirius turned, seeing his friends and bandmates making their way over. He turned back to you, a cheeky grin on his lips, “Okay, kiss me again, just once more before they get here. Once they do I just know James is gonna talk your ear off about the whole thing.” You giggled, biting your bottom lip before grasping the back of his neck, pulling his lips towards yours once more.

[topguncortez]

Speak Now ~ J. Seresin

Hangman Masterlist | Main Masterlist

synopsis: Jake gets a wedding invite from the girl he's still in love with. Based off of Speak Now (TV) by Taylor Swift

word count: 4.1k

warnings: cursing, break-ups, runaway bride, miscommunication

Jake knew you probably hated the invites. You had told him over and over that you never wanted a big wedding, you wanted something small. You had agreed with your mom to not just go to the courthouse, but would at least do something a little bigger. Jake ran his fingers over the pale pink paper that was decorated with flowers and had your name and your fiancé’s name written in gold cursive letters. He knew you were somewhere screaming and pulling your hair out.

‘PLEASE JOIN US FOR THE CEREMONY OF MATRIMONY OF Y/N M/N AND BILLY “FRITZ” AVALON’

“Yeah, I just got it,” Jake said to Coyote. He had called his best friend the moment he saw the light pink envelope in his mailbox, “I looked up the address, it’s a church. She always said she wouldn’t get married in a church, she was worried it would burn down around her,”

“I don’t think that’s possible,” Javy said, “She must be a different person now, when was the last time you talked to her?”

“I don’t know 2-3 years ago. I heard Bob ask Nat if she had figured out a bridesmaid dress yet,” Jake sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, “I guess it was for this.”

“Did you expect anything less? They’re best friends.”

Jake shrugged knowing his friend couldn’t see him, “I don’t think I’m gonna go,”

“You can’t do that!”

“Why would I go? To submit myself to the torture of watching her marry someone else? Watching someone else give her the life I couldn’t give her?” Jake said angrily, the images of their last fight filled his mind. He looked over to the front door from his kitchen, the replay of you walking out the door, with your bags packed and tears in your eyes was forever burned into his mind.

“You pushed her away, Jacob. You can only blame yourself for that,” Javy scolded and Jake sighed.

“I thought I was doing the right thing,” Jake mumbled.

“Well do the true right thing, and go to the wedding, for her. It’ll make her happy to see you there,” Javy said and Jake told him he’d think about it.

Jake sat down on his couch and closed his eyes. Ever since that fateful day, he let you go, he couldn’t fathom thinking about you with someone else. He knew though, he knew you had met someone else, but didn’t know it was Fritz until about a month ago. The two of you waltzed into the Hard Deck, hand-in-hand, smiles on your face. Jake couldn’t stand the sight of it. It made him physically ill to stand there and keep a smile on his face. You had caught only a glimpse of him as he walked out the door. 

Jake pushed himself off of his spot and walked to his room. He pulled down the box that sat on the top shelf of his closet and opened the lid. Pictures, concert tickets, notes, mixed CDs, random t-shirts, and postcards were all packed away in the box. Jake dug to the bottom of the box and pulled out the tiny light blue ring box and opened it. The pear-shaped diamond ring glared up at him in mockery.

———————————————

“Have you ever thought about the future?” You asked him, as you were both relaxing in the bathtub. Jake had a stressful day at work and just wanted to relax. You had made him something to eat and draw a bath.

“Of course,” Jake said, kissing your bare shoulder, “I think about it a lot, what I’m doing next week, or next month, or even next year,”

“Do you ever think of our future?” You asked softly.

“I-I uh, yeah sometimes. But I like where we are,” Jake said and you frowned slightly. You had been with Jake since freshman year of high school, right by his side through it all. From giving up your dream of going to UT, and moving to Maryland while he went to the academy, to waiting with other partners and spouses for him to come off the carrier after a deployment.  You loved Jake, you really did, but you were hoping for more, you wanted more.

“I think about getting married,” You said and sighed into Jake, “Something small, probably in my parents’ backyard on a beautiful summer night. I want that perfect day, where you just wake up and say, ‘Let’s get married’, nothing too crazy. I told my mom I won’t just go to the courthouse.”

“Yeah,” was all Jake could say.

“What?” You asked, turning your head to look at him, “You don’t… you don’t see that?”

“It’s not that I don’t see it, it’s that I don’t want it.”

“Oh,” You nodded. There was a beat of silence, until you pushed yourself up from Jake’s embrace.

“Wait, Y/N,” Jake said reaching out to you as you grabbed your towel.

“The water is getting cold,” You said and dried yourself off, before heading into the bathroom.

Jake cursed himself and got out of the bathtub, grabbing his towel and following you. You sat on the bed and looked at Jake with tears in your eyes. You had this sinking feeling for a while. Like things were bound to break between you. You loved Jake, you really did, and every day it felt like you were falling more in love with him. He always did something new to make you fall in love. Whether it was surprising you with some new recipe, bringing you home your favorite flowers, to sending you postcards from where ever he was in the world. But lately, all that had seemed to stop. You had slowly wondered if maybe, just maybe, Jake wasn’t in love with you anymore.

“Y/N…” Jake said your name softly.

“When did you fall out of love?”

“What-“

“Jake, please,” You asked him, tears now running down your face.

“I love you, Y/N, I really do. But I- My career is just starting to take off. I. . .,” Jake sighed, “I- I don’t want to be holding you back from everything that you want.”

“You don’t want to hold me back, or you don’t want me holding YOU back?”

Jake sighed and looked down at his feet. Truth was, he didn’t want to hold you back. He could see the small changes in you. You had decided to change your major from education to business, something that you insisted was what you wanted. He noticed that your grades had slipped, your GPA the lowest it had ever been. You had spent more time at home, next to him, than hanging out with your friends. Jake didn’t want to hurt you, but he wanted you to follow your dreams, even if that meant having to break his and your heart. Jake took a deep breath and grabbed your hands.

“I’m breaking up with you,” He said and bit the bullet. You closed your eyes and Jake was fighting the urge to wipe the tears from your eyes. A sob left your pink lips and you pulled your hands from his, “I’m sorry-“

“Just shut up, Jake,” You said and pushed yourself up from the bed. You walked into the bathroom and slammed it shut, locking the door behind you. You gripped the sides of the sink and sobbed. Jake listened on the other side of the door as you threw everything off the counter, and could hear the breaking of the mirror as you threw a hairbrush at it. Jake changed into his pajamas and then set some out for you. He wrote a note that he was going to stay at Josh’s for the night.

The next morning you woke up to a cold bed and a pounding headache. You looked around the empty room and sighed. You began with the closet, dumping all your clothes into your suitcase, leaving behind the stuff that Jake had either bought you or gifted you. You packed away all your underwear, socks, and makeup. The apartment slowly became bare as you packed your little trinkets and decorations away. You had hoped to get most of it done before Jake came back, but you weren’t that lucky.

“Where are you going?” Jake asked, walking into the apartment and seeing your bags by the front door.

“My sister’s house,” You said and Jake looked at you confused. This was the first time you had mentioned a sister, and he had been dating you for over 5 years, “You don’t know her, she’s a half-sister,”

“Okay… this is really it?”

“Yeah,” You said softly as you looked down at the item in your hand, a picture from your first date, taken when you were both 13. Your parents wouldn’t let you go alone, so Jake’s older sister and her boyfriend at the time had to tag along. She took the picture and Jake gave it to you as a gift on your first anniversary, “Here,” You handed Jake the picture.

“No, no, keep it.”

“I can’t,” You said, your voice breaking. You placed your hand on Jake’s cheek, and kissed his lips softly, one last time, “Goodbye, Jake. Be good to yourself, okay?”

“I will, Y/N. I love you,”

You couldn’t bring yourself to say it back, as you grabbed your bags and walked out the front door. Jake bit his lip as he watched you walk out the door and out of his life.

———————————-

You looked half dead, as you sat in the makeup chair, bright and early on your wedding day. You had tried to go to sleep, but you tossed and turned the whole night. You had thought about running away, getting your car, and driving off to god knows where, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. Instead, you took some melatonin and slept for about 4 hours, until Natasha burst through your door with her unusually high amount of energy. You were just happy she brought you red bull and donuts.

“You look like shit?” Natasha said as she poured you a mimosa.

“I feel like it,” you reached your hand out for the glass.

“Oh my god,” She said and pulled the glass back, “Are you pregnant?!”

“No!” You yelled, “Give me the damn drink,”

“Fiesty,” She laughed and handed you the glass, “I steamed your dress, it’s hanging up in the bathroom,”

“Thank you,” You answered, “The boys?”

“I talked to Billy’s brother, Steven, he said they are up and moving. But, if you were wondering Rooster said that they are ALL on their way,”

“He’s coming?”

Natasha gave you a small smile and nodded, before going over to where the rest of your bridesmaids were. You looked up at your makeup artist and smiled as she placed false eyelashes on your eyes. You had tried to keep yourself from shaking with anxiety over seeing Jake, but you couldn’t help it. You had brushed it off as wedding day jitters. For the rest of the morning, you and your bridesmaids drank and ate a light breakfast that your parents had provided. You had a photographer taking pictures of you guys as you got ready. The bridesmaid dresses you had picked were emerald green, and you let them pick their own design. You sucked in a breath, as Natasha zipped the back of your dress. You stared at yourself in the mirror, and could hardly recognize the person in the mirror. The dress you and Billy had picked out was a classic style dress, with a deep v-cut, lace sleeves that went down to your wrists, and an open back. Billy said you looked like Princess Kate, but you felt more like Princess Di.

“Absolutely breathtaking,” Natasha said and You smiled, trying to make yourself feel better, “They want a first look. You okay with that?”

“I mean, Billy picked the dress out, so why not,”

Natasha smiled and walked out of the bedroom. You blinked and stared up at the ceiling, trying not to cry. You took a deep breath and then headed out of the bathroom. You looked up from your shoes to be shocked by the 3 men standing in front of you, one noticeably missing.

“Well god damn, Y/N, you can clean up nicely,” Javy said You laughed and walked over and hugged him.

“Like our very own princess,” Bob said.

“Thank you,” You said looking at all of them. You could feel a certain pair of blue eyes burning into you, “I can’t believe you guys actually came!”

“Well, my girlfriend is your maid of honor,” Javy said, putting his arm around Natasha’s waist.

“She’s the best maid of honor I could ask for,” You smiled at her.

“Speaking of which, we gotta get going. Can’t be late for your own wedding,” Natasha said and your face faltered.

“Yeah,” You said hoping none of them noticed the change in your demeanor, of course the oldest twin did.

“Alright, let’s get going okay,” Natasha said and the boys nodded, following her out of the room, all except Bob who hung back a second.

“You look amazing,” Bob said, “He would be here, but he just couldn’t see you quite yet.”

“Thank you, Bob,” You said honestly. He kissed your cheek and then left your room.

“You ready?” Natasha asked, coming back into the room. You nodded and grabbed the champagne bottle that was next to you. Natasha watched with wide eyes as you downed the rest of the bottle, “Liquid courage?”

“If I do something dumb, you promise to support me?”

Natasha squinted her eyes at you, “Depends on what dumb thing you’re thinking about doing.”

“We’ll have to see,”

The church was decorated beautifully, white roses and emerald green flowers were mixed in and decorated the altar. Javy sat on Jake’s right and Rooster on the left. Jake’s eyes were locked on his shoes as Billy and his parents made their way down the aisle. Rooster nudged him as your mom and brother made their way down the aisle. Your mom sent Jake a warm smile, making his heart beat faster in his chest. The look in her eyes was one that Jake had seen far too often. 

‘That should be you.’

“What if I stop the wedding?” Jake asked Javy.

“Don’t even think about it Jacob,” Javy whispered harshly.

“You saw how unhappy she is!” 

“She’s nervous, it’s her damn wedding day!” Javy snapped. 

“Stop, Natasha is walking down,” Bob said noticing his WSO walking down with your fiancé’s brother. Natasha winked at the boys, as she took her spot right next to wear you would stand at the alter. 

Jake’s heart fell to his ass as he heard that oh-so-familiar wedding march and everyone stood up, to look to the back of the church. The doors opened Jake’s breath caught in his throat. You were breathtaking, the dress hugging your body perfectly. Jake couldn’t help but wish that was for him. Your eyes were locked on Billy, as tears left his eyes. You had tried to dig deep in your heart and remember why you were going to marry him, but everything was drawing up a blank. The aisle felt like it was miles long, and you hated everyone’s eyes on you. When you got to the end of the aisle, Billy stepped down to take you from your father.

“Who gives this woman, to this man?” The priest asked.

“Her mother, and I,” Your dad said. He turned to you and hugged you, “Jake is here,” You went to move your head to look for him but your dad kept you from moving, “Make the right choice,” You nodded and kissed his cheek before pulling back and stepping up on the altar.

“Ladies and gentlemen, you maybe be seated,” The priest said and You handed Natasha your bouquet, your eyes searching the crowd of people, and finally landing on those familiar brown eyes, “Welcome, we are gathered here today to witness the symbolic ceremony of love between these two young people, Y/N M/N L/N and Billy Fritz Avalon. Is there anybody who believes that these two shouldn’t be married, speak now or forever hold your peace,”

Y/N closed her eyes and waited for someone to say something. Jake was about to stand before Javy grabbed his arm and held him down. He looked at his wingman with wide eyes, but the boy just shook his head and pointed toward you. Jake looked at you and locked eyes with him, as the priest was reading some passage about marriage and what it means in the Bible. Jake could read it in your eyes, you were really going through with this. Jake saw his window of opportunity finally close and the stages of grief started settling in his chest. He leaned back against the pew and tried to keep from crying.

“Billy, do you take Y/N, to have and to hold, to honor and treasure, to be at her side in sorrow and in joy, in the good times and bad, in sickness and health, for rich or for poor, to love and cherish her always until the moment of your last breath?”

“I do,” Billy said giving your hand a squeeze.

“Y/N,” The priest said, basically startling you, “Do you take Billy, to have and to hold, to honor and treasure, to be at his side in sorrow and in joy, in the good times and bad, in sickness and death, for rich or for poor, to love and cherish him always until the moment of your last breath?”

You looked at the priest and then at Billy, “I…,” You quickly glanced over to Jake, whose green eyes were locked on you. You swallowed and looked back at Billy, “I-” 

“No,” A voice from the crowd spoke. You snapped your head towards the audience, seeing Jake standing up and the look of shock on everyone’s face. 

“Hangman, what the,” Billy asked, dropping your hands and turning towards him.

“You never wanted to get married in a Church,” Jake said, pushing past Rooster and Bob, to stand in the middle of the aisle, “You said the church of Elvis was fine, but nothing like. . . this,” Jake gestured around, “You want the wedding where you wake up and say ‘let’s get married’. You want to eat hot dogs and mac’n’cheese in your parents’ backyard and light off fireworks.” 

Tears gathered in your eyes as Jake stepped closer to you, and you took a step down from the altar. 

“You want to jump off the dock at the lake house in your wedding dress because the lake has good luck in it and you believe in that stuff,” Jake licked his lips, “This isn’t you. . .” You nodded and Jake wiped away a stray tear with his thumb, “What do you say? Wanna get out of here?” 

“Yes please,” You said, as you grabbed Jake’s hand. The church erupted in chaos as the two of you ran towards the doors. 

“The hell did you say to her!?” Your mom asked your father, hitting him lightly on the chest.

“I just told her to make the right choice,” Your dad said smugly, “Never liked Buster anyway.”

“It’s Billy!”

You and Jake were bursting with laughter as you sprinted to his car. Jake had helped gather your dress in the car, before shutting the door carefully and jumping into the driver’s seat. Neither of you guys said anything as you drove away from the church. You weren’t sure where you were driving to, and it honestly didn’t matter. You looked over at Jake, who had a smile on his face as he grabbed your hand, and kissed your knuckles. 

But suddenly, the fate of the decision hit you like a ton of bricks. 

“Stop the car,” You said. 

Jake looked over at you, “What?” 

“Stop the damn car!” You yelled. Jake complied and pulled the car over, putting it in park. You got out instantly, running towards the woodline, the soft rain falling on you. Jake watched as you tried to catch your breath. He walked to the other side of his BMW, and leaned against the passenger door as you paced. 

“I ran away,” You said eyes wide. You turned to face him, “I just ran away from the altar!”

“Yes, you did,” Jake nodded. 

“A-and because of you!” You yelled.

“I’m sorry,” Jake said, honestly. Guilt was swimming in his green eyes as you looked at him. He looked as bad as you felt. His suit was wrinkled, his hair slightly a mess from running his hands through it, his five o’clock shadow settling on his face. 

“Why? Why did it take you so long?” You asked and Jake looked at you. 

“I was scared,” He admitted, “I was scared of coming back and ruining what you had built. You went back to education, got your degree, you’re living your dream, and I…. I didn’t want to get in the way again.” 

You shook your head and walked up to him. You grabbed his hand, “Dance with me,”

Jake nodded and turned up the car radio. The sweet sound of Aretha Franklin’s Natural Woman’ filled your eardrums. Jake grabbed you softly and pulled you into him as he swayed with you in the moonlight. You guys lost track of time, as one song faded into the other, and you were both soaked, your dress was ruined.

“Your dress,” Jake said, looking at the dirty train, “I’m sorry, I’ll pay,”

“No, don’t worry about it,” You said and placed your hands on Jake’s face.

Jake’s rough hands carefully gripped the side of your face and pulled his lips against yours. For the first time in nearly 2 years, you were feeling his lips on yours again. You pulled him against you, wanting him to never let you go. He pulled back and rested his forehead against yours. You two didn’t say anything, but you didn’t have to. It was clear, you had made the right choice.

“Marry me,” Jake said and you looked up at him. He reached into his wet suit jacket and pulled out the blue box, “I don’t know what the hell I was thinking, I had this stashed away for the perfect moment but I just got scared. I didn’t want you to put your dreams on the back burner for me, so I let you go.”

“Jake, you dumbass,” You said, “You are my dream.”

“You’re mine too, I can’t believe I almost lost you to-”

“Shh, you have me now.”

“Marry me, please?” Jake asked getting down on one knee. You smiled and tackled him to the ground. He landed with a thud and laughed as he kissed you passionately. You pulled back and slid the ring that was already on your finger, and replaced it with the one Jake had for you, “Looks better.”

“Much better.” You said kissing him again.

3 weeks later, you woke up one morning to a cold bed, but the covers messed up. You looked out the window, seeing the sun shining and making everything glow warmly. You stretched and headed down to your kitchen, where Jake was already making dinner. You greeted him with a kiss and sat down at the table to eat the vegan pancakes he had made.

“We should get married today,” Jake suggested, “Javy got ordained online a couple of months ago and has been itching to use it.”

“My dad’s got a new dinner recipe he wants to try.” You said sipping your orange juice.

“Then it’s settled,” Jake smiled, “Let’s get married today,”

And that’s exactly what you two did. You sent out a text message for everyone to be at your house by 6 for your wedding. Nobody questioned It, knowing this was exactly what you and Jake wanted. Everyone gathered in your backyard, dressed causally for a summer backyard wedding. Jake stood barefoot in the grass as he waited for you to walk out of the house, in a simple white maxi sun dress. Javy was living for this moment to be the official of a wedding, and what better than to be one at his best friend’s wedding?

“Now, we can actually do this right this time,” Javy said winking at you.

“Jake, do you take Y/N-“

“Yes,” Jake said interrupting his brother.

“I have to say the speech, Jacobl,” Javy scolded and everyone chuckled, “Y/N, do you take Jake-“

“I do!” You answered by doing the same.

“You guys are so impatient,” Javy smiled, “Well, by the power vested in me by some officiating website and the state of California, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Jake, you may now kiss your bride,”

“Don’t gotta tell me twice,”

You giggled as Jake smashed his lips against yours. Cheers were let out from your family as he dipped you and sealed the deal with a kiss. He set you back on your two feet and grabbed your hand, walking you down the makeshift aisle, finally as husband and wife.

taglist: @shanimallina87 @phoenix1388 @desert-fern @mygyn @cherrycola27 @yanna-banana @seitmai @topgun-imagines @bradleybeachbabe @na-ta-sh-aa @startrekfangirl2233 @xoxabs88xox @atarmychick007 @lunamoonbby @sophiaslastbraincell @bradswolfe @fandom-princess-forevermore @thedroneranger @angelbabyange @callsignharper @dempy @lovelywiseprincess @krismdavis @eternallyvenus @dakotakazansky @pono-pura-vida @callsignartemis @starberryhorse @daggersquadphantom @gspenc @toobouquet @dreamgirl3300 @avada-kedavra-bitch-187

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[iateyourparents]

fOoL fOr YoU | c.b.

pairing: colby brock x singer!fem!reader

summary: fate has its own ways to connect people who are destined to each other, even after breaking them apart at some point in life.

warnings: kinda short, use of y/n, bad writing and grammar(i’m sorry but english is not my first language)

an: songs used here are fOoL fOr YoU by ZAYN, My stupid heart by Walk off the Earth. Album used in here - Lover by Taylor Swift.

pictures are from pinterest:)

“Come on guys, let me hear you! I know you like this one!” you said to microphone before continuing the song “Cause I’m a fool for you and the things, the things you do…”

You heard crowd clearly and loudly singing with you your debutant song and you couldn’t feel more proud.

Even though since realese of this song you made two whole albums it still was most of your fans’ favorite song, and to be honest, it was yours too.

It was song about your teenage love, how you felt about that one boy that you aren’t even in touch anymore. You wrote fOoL fOr YoU while you still were a lovesick teenager but before you were able to present it to your former muse from these times, you were broken up.

Then, years later you met that amazing man, Charles, who took you under his wings becoming your manager and helped you with realesing your debutant single - fOoL fOr YoU.

And that’s how you became pretty famous and now, here you were playing all around the world for your “we’ll never be the same again” world tour, promoting your newest album.

“Alright, that was so good! Thank you!” you took a break to take a sip of water and then you were back in front of the chanting crowd “Okay, so I wrote this one about my ex who was absolutely awful experience but also taught me a lot.”

You could hear loud screams from a crowd which already knew what song you were about to sing so you just laughed and started singing, crowd following also started shouting lyrics.

“My stupid heart don’t know, I’ve tried to let you go so many times before…”

After few more songs you bided your goodbye to the crowd promising you will be back someday and you got off the stage and met Charles on backstage.

„How was it?” you asked with smile, sipping water.

„That was great!” you could say he was proud „And you were worried you wouldn’t be able to play on arenas.”

„That’s a big step!” you defended yourself with smile „I can’t wait to take a shower, I stink.” you grimaced.

„I won’t disagree.” he laughed and hugged you „Go relax a little before we have to go to tourbus.”

„You too Charlie, I know that you are secretly almost ripping off your hair.”

Now you were supposed to head to Los Angeles where you would play two concerts and then you would have a month long break before starting last part of the tour - Europe.

|||

You were currently sitting at the vanity in your changing room. Your make up artist, Sarah, was doing your make up for your last performance before a break when Charles came into the room.

„Hi” he started.

„Hi Charlie, what’s up?” you could tell he had some offer for you.

„What do you say, you, me and your band go to some club after you come off the stage to celebrate successful tour?”

You looked at him in the mirror and smirked at him.

„Sounds great to me.”

|||

You and your crew sat in some club. You weren’t drunk but it felt good to feel more easy with alcohol in your system after stressful couple of weeks.

„My forever favorite moment is when this one fan threw his boxers on scene and they landed perfectly in front of y/n. Her face was priceless.” Mark, the drummer, laughed. You loved talking about memories from the tour but that memory actually was traumatizing since it was the first time ever when something like this happened.

„I felt attacked.” you joked and took a last sip of your sweet drink „I’ll go order next one. Somebody wants something?”

You heard chorus of no’s and assurances that they have almost full glasses so you just walked towards the counter and waited for a bartender to end taking someone else’s order.

„Your concert was awesome.” you heard next to you. When you turned to the side you saw someone you thought you would never see again in person.

Infamous ghost hunter, your ex and an old muse of yours.

Cole Brock.

Or rather, Colby.

„Thank you” you smiled „Fancy seeing you here.”

„I live in LA.” he explained „I liked this one song, what was it? Fool for you?”

You smirked and shook your head „Yeah, I like it too.”

„So, was I good muse?” he winked and you laughed. Of course he would know it was about him. You’re pretty sure that when you were together you were sometimes telling him parts of this song.

„Excellent, thank you.”

„I’m always happy to help, so if you will need some new music, here’s my number.” he handed you a piece of paper with some numbers.

„I’ll make sure to call if i’ll need anything.” you winked at him and he laughed.

„I hope so.” he looked behind his back where a blonde boy, Sam, called him „I have to go but i’ll be waiting for your call.”

|||

If some days later you actually called Colby, nobody have to know. And if that meeting ended with him tangled in your sheets, also nobody have to know. And if this was more than one time occurrence then also nobody have to know.

And if your next album called ’Lover’ was about him and everyone knew it was about him, then it’s okay.

And if you both tattooed ’fOoL fOr YoU’ on your hips on the day of your wedding, then it’s great even if everybody knows.

You two really were like lovesick fools.

[harlowtales]

Jack is jealous when Y/N goes crazy for another rapper 😡

18 PLUS ONLY - ADULT CONTENT

(Unedited)

“You ready baby? Happy Birthday to my girl. Are you excited?” Jack said holding you from behind and kissing your neck as you checked yourself out in the full length mirror.

“Baby you’re wrinkling me!” You said smoothing out where he had bunched up your dress wrapping his arms around you. “But thank you baby I can’t wait!”

“If I was a bad bitch I’d wanna fuck me too!” You said jumping up and down as if you were already at NLE’s show in the front row. Jack surprised you with tickets and because he knew NLE you were going to meet him. Jack just looked at you and walked away. He was a bit jealous if he was being honest. This was all you talked about since you found out like you weren’t dating an even more famous rapper.

“Hey, calm down and don’t you think you should wear something that covers you more baby? What about this jeans and hoodie? It’s just a concert.” Jack tried to reason to make himself feel better. You looked gorgeous and that was the problem. NLE was as funny and charming as Jack was.

“Um no thanks I like this dress but maybe next time.” You said unknowingly kissing him on the cheek. “Let’s go!!!”

“Can we listen to NLE on the way there?” You begged as Jack didn’t like noise when he was driving.

“We’re going to the show isn’t that over kill?” He said starting to get annoyed.

“We’ll listen to older stuff he might not play tonight. PLLLLLEASE” you said pouting.

“Ok fine.” He relented kissing your forehead. You were adorable when you begged.

“Going down a narrow ro oh oh oad, going down a narrow road oh oh oad!!!” You sang NLE’s earlier hit Narrow Road at the top of your lungs with the roof open. Jack was already regretting buying you these tickets. He had to make you go to Gazebo Fest and you complained the entire time of being too hot, hungry, and tired.

Jack wasn’t much for concerts and when he went he usually sat higher up in box seats but because he knew you wanted front row you got front row. Baby gets what baby wants. This was a smaller venue anyway so Jack didn’t have much of a choice. You let out a squeal when you grabbed the barricade and Jack rolled his eyes taking his guarded boyfriend stance firmly behind you where he planned to be the entire time. He looked around and he felt old. NLE’s crowd was about 16-25 so he grumpily put up with pushing and shoving as the crowd built up.

“Yo!!! Oh shit Jack Harlow is here!” He was hearing around him as cell phones quickly came out of pockets and flashed before he could say anything. He wanted a date night feeling with no security and was beginning to regret it. You on the other hand were chatting away with someone beside you about how funny NLE was and his latest shenanigans on IG.

“Girl that red see through top and red leather pants at Fashion Week??? OMG!! He looked SO GOOD!” She gushed to which you nodded and Jack pretended not to hear. That’s when the lights went down a few opening acts you didn’t care much about came on. Jack was concerned you were bored.

“You ok baby? You’re barely dancing” he observed sweetly as he held you tighter. He was bracing himself for your reaction to the main event.

“Just waiting for my man is all.” You said “Saving my energy.” You didn’t yet know you were going to meet NLE afterwards.

After a brief intermission and endless people coming up to Jack the lights dimmed and you started screaming. “He ain’t even on yet.” Jack said dryly and slightly embarrassed.

Then it got pitch black and smoke filled the stage. Through the mist NLE emerged with his signature look shirtless, tatted from head to toe, low riding black jeans. He directed a megawatt, diamond grilled smile to you and winked. “Jack Harlow done brought his girl to see me y’all!!!” NLE said playfully as he darted to the other end of the stage. Jack smiled back but the joke irked him. You on the other hand were mesmerized.

Then NLE did the Slut Me Out trilogy it was a wrap. By this time Jack was hiding how mad he was. NLE had you. He jumped down from the stage drenched in sweat and as he went by the front row he kissed your hand like a perfect gentleman. You sang along just as loud as in the car then it happened. NLE pulled you up on stage and walked around you like his prey as he rapped “Is we fucking or what?” and made his famous humping gestures in the air. You were escorted back to Jack who just stood there in disbelief.

“Having a good time now?” Jack said angrily

“Baby I…Baby it’s all just fun.” You apologized thinking because Jack and NLE knew each other and both always joked around it was all fine. You tried to kiss him but he dogged it.

“I have a surprise for you that unfortunately we can’t back out of now or I’ll look like a punk.” Jack explained as the crowd thinned out after the show and he led you to the backstage area following security that came to get you.

“Wait what’s happening???” You asked incredulously as you were now standing in the hallway in front of NLE’s dressing room door. Jack just stood there not saying a word.

“Baby I am so sorry if I acted way over the top and made you feel bad.” You said as you titled your head up to kiss him. Jack couldn’t resist and felt your butt as his tongue met yours.

“You owe me after this” Jack said giving your butt a light but stinging tap that served as a warning.

“You’re a lucky man legend” you heard a voice say in a thick Memphis drawl. You turned around and there he was. NLE standing there freshly showered with grey sweatpants on and a towel on his head.

You tried not to appear remotely interested in looking down at the package NLE was toting. Jack’s eyes were on you.

“You must be y/n so honoured to meet the princess of Kentucky” he said holding your hand too long for Jack’s liking.

You shyly replied “Um that’s me” fixing hair behind your ear. All mannerisms that Jack didn’t like.

“Oh fuck now she getting all SHY??” He said seething in his mind.

“Sup.” He said to NLE and dapped him up not showing how agitated his was as he felt NLE poured it on thick during his show.

“I hope you don’t mind me bringing this gorgeous prize on stage. I just wanted to make her birthday unforgettable.” NLE said eyeing you

“Preciate you man.” Jack replied stiffly in complete bro mode.

“Oh boy Jack is acting all hard he is PISSED.” You said to yourself. Him and Jack talked shop for a bit off to the side recounting the XXL freshman class they were both in. Jack seemed to loosen up and was smiling and laughing to which you breathed a sigh of relief.

On the way home he was silent in the car and you didn’t ask to play any music especially NLE’s. You reached over and felt his bulge and he responded immediately shifting in his seat as he stared at the road. “That’s right, you know how to make everything up to me birthday girl.”

“Pull over.” You ordered “Imma take care of you like it’s YOUR birthday.”

@itsyagirljaz @jackharlow502

[anamelessfool]

I made a crackfic inspired by these GIFs

One Shot (AO3 Link)

Papa Emeritus IV & Reader

Mature for strong language, references

Stupid silly fic, destiny, concerts, the incredible cornette hat

This opportunity comes once in a lifetime....You only get one shot. You hope your calculations are correct this time.

1,819 Words If you like this fic please reblog!

One Shot

This was your last chance. After three rituals, there was nothing left. Fourth time’s a charm, you told yourself, arriving at the line by the venue at promptly 1AM. You were going to make rail no matter what. You run into your friend, Avery, who has doggedly followed you ever since witnessing your first attempt a few weeks ago. Since then you had kept running into them in the line, and at this point you had become fast friends. Today they look grim as you arrive and settle yourself into the long wait.

“Last chance, huh?” Avery blows a bubble with their gum. They have the weary voice of some kind of soldier getting ready for one last push over the top. You both hear the rattle of a raccoon scuttling around in a trash can nearby. The things you do for a dream.

You nod back. “Then they’re off to South America.”

“You are fucking nuts,” Avery says. “I don’t understand you but goddammit I respect you.”

“It’s been real, Avery.” You fistbump and wiggle your fingers, laughing.

It’s only a fifteen hour wait. You had waited longer in the past. As the line gets longer, more colorful characters appear, more people mingle. You chat, swapped social, and sing like delirious hungover partygoers at New Year’s. Thinking about the hours ticking makes you break out into a nervous sweat, but visualizing your mission steels you. Every so often, Avery locks eyes with you and calms your nerves with a friendly shoulder pat. “It’s gonna happen this time.”

You feel like some kind of action hero. Staring into the challenge ahead. “It had better fucking happen.”

The sun gets high overhead, roasting the asphalt, and still you remain. The shadows lengthen, the air cools. Finally, finally the venue staff come over to the line. Finally they pull out their scanners and open the gate.

Now or Never.

Arriving at the venue, you refresh yourself, then make a furious, single-minded march towards the front and center of the rail. Nothing will stop you this time. Not even the call of nature. You’ve picked out the ideal spot. After your three attempts you’ve figured out the perfect location. You’ve mapped the trajectory, the angles needed.

It’s a good thing Papa likes keeping to a script.

“I’m feeling really good about this,” Avery says from next to you. “You’re going to make it this time. I know it.”

“You’re psyching me out right now,” You mutter. “I can’t think. I got to get into the zone.” At last the blast of the music hits, that singular Yeaaaaaahhhhh! that makes your heart nearly explode. The curtain falls, and the pyrotechnics flare.

Every time you see him, you can’t believe he’s real. Papa Emeritus IV, resplendent in his beautiful costumes, reaching out to the audience, his thrusting hips powered by his voice. There’s screaming all around you. You have a weird inner peace as you wait for the opportune moment, a calm mindfulness reserved for samurai waiting to draw their weapon. Soon. Soon.

“BELIAL! BEHEMOTH! BEELZEBUB!” Ten thousand throats are shredded with screams. Avery gives you a friendly noogie. It’s time.

At last Papa IV appears on stage, framed by blasts of flames. His flowing garments take your breath away. His fierce winged hat lends an air of noble severity to his presence. The vision of that hat had consumed you since you saw it in Metal Hammer Magazine.  It has haunted you for months, and the plan you are seconds from attempting bubbled up from the core of your being. You had never felt so sure of the concept of destiny ever before.

Papa starts swanning all over the stage, coming into range. It’s fucking time.

From your pocket you pull out your ammo. You have a single shot, but something about having a single chance for victory steels your focus even more than having two or three. You unroll a pair of frilly strawberry-print panties, clutching them into your hand. You let all the breath out of your lungs. You have the focus of a stalking cat, a striking rattlesnake.

You hook the panties on your thumb, stretch the elastic waistband, and release.

“Archangelooooooo!” Papa IV croons.

There’s a moment where you don’t even feel your heart beating anymore. You see the panties suspended in the air, so slow in front of you you could count all the strawberries. For a brief second you scream in your mind It’s not going to make it! They hit the far wing of the hat, nearly slide off, then settle, hole in one.

A perfect shot. The panties land. Perfectly. Right in the bowl of that glorious hat.

“BROOOOOOOOHMYFUCKINGODBROOOO!” Avery screams in your ear. You barely register their voice, your whole soul ascending with the feeling of victory. It’s done. You’ve done it. And it’s glorious. Tears start to well in the corners of your eyes as you watch Papa IV scuttle across the stage carrying your prize.

And then you felt the arms on your shoulders.

“Hey! Get the fuck offa them!” Avery yells, but it is too late. Three security guards drag you over the rail, kicking and screaming. Finally you stop resisting, a serene deathly calm settling on you. You’ve done your duty and now it is time to go to the ashes from which you came. Your unfinished business complete, it is time to walk towards the light.

Your consciousness witnesses when they pull your arms behind your back, forcing you forward, whisking you away. To where, you have no idea. Nor do you care. What is done is done. You think they are going to kick you completely out of the venue but no, one of the guards opens a service door to the side of the stage. The florescent lights blind you, and the silence buzzes with the ghosts of the screaming crowd in your ears. The concrete and cinderblock hallway seems to go on forever and you watch your feet plod forward, your head down. The guards’ grip on your arms and shoulders tighten.

“Wait here!’ One of them shouts, whipping open a door. There’s nothing but darkness within. And within the darkness you remain, the door slamming behind you.

***

The light rakes across your eyes, and you wince like a cave animal. You have no idea how long you have sat in that dark closet, but judging by the silence around you the concert has long been over. Your eyes water and adjust to the light, witnessing the silhouette of a guard standing in the doorway. “Come with me. He would like to see you.”

He? Your heart starts to pound. At last your adrenaline bottoms out and you start shaking, but it is too late to fully react to your actions. Two guards reach in and grab you once more, ripping you back into the hallway. “Keep your head down!” One hisses under his breath. Your hands start to sweat.

You hear the creak of another heavy door opening, and a guard pushes you inside, closing the door behind him. This place is more softly lit. As you start to bring your awareness back to your body familiar colors, shapes and textures swim before your eyes. In a far corner, items are hung on a clothing rack. A sequined blue jacket. A torn leather vest. The magnificent hat greets you from a makeup table, and you catch your pale face in the lit mirror. At the bottom of the mirror you notice the back of his head.

Papa Emeritus IV is sitting before you.

You see him. You blink. You close your eyes. But he doesn’t disappear. He is right in front of you. And you are standing in his dressing room.

Alone.

His skull-like visage overwhelms you. You have no idea what his expression is, but his cursed eye glares through you. He is sitting on a couch in the center of the room, his arm on the armrest. He had since loosened his tie and you see the smallest sliver of skin peek out from the unbuttoned top of his shirt. His body is broad, his shoulders slack from the constant exertion of performing for a crowd.

You open your mouth, but it is as if a puff of dust comes out. He sits before you impossibly, but just like in your dreams. You feel that any noise, any movement would sweep the vision away. He lets out a heavy sigh, his chest swelling. You ache in the deepest parts of your body. He slowly sweeps his legs apart and locks eyes with you again.

“Come here,” he says in his reedy voice. You do nothing. You say nothing. A deer in the headlights would look on you with concern.

He blinks, then pats his leg. “Come here,” he says again. “Sit here.” There’s a quavering quality to his voice. You’re not sure if he is embarrassed or furious. A muscle tenses in his jaw, but the melting paint on his face obscures the smallest details of his expression.

He idly rakes his hand through his deliciously graying hair, and your knees nearly buckle out from beneath you. He is reacting to you. So he must be real. You will your legs forward, planting yourself in front of him, looking down at him. His brow furrows, and his eyes surprisingly shift from side to side.

Is he…nervous?

Papa pats his knee once again. “Per favore, siediti,” he growls.

You lower your body onto his strong, supple leg. He holds your weight perfectly. You feel like you’re going to fall off backwards in a faint, so you unconciously hold onto the side of his waist. His body shifts under you.

“Well, then…” he begins. You’re not sure if he is smiling or frowning. His face is so close you can see how the makeup has drifted under the sheen of sweat.

You have enough willpower in your brain to utter a faint “Um…sorry.”

Papa utters a casual grunt. Through your hand you feel the noise vibrate his whole body. He leans forward and by consequence his chest presses into yours. The heat and dampness of his tired body envelops you, the musky smell of his sweat overwhelming your senses.  Your whole soul is aflame in this single moment in which he reaches to pull something out from beside the couch.

“Here,” he says. His breath caresses your face. You look down.

In his hands is a small stuffed bear, like the kind found at carnivals. He holds it out to you. You do nothing. He makes a little frustrated “Myeh” in his throat and places it in your hands. His own gloved hands wrap around yours, patting them. He releases the prize into your possession, leaning back, satisfied.

“Here,” he repeats. You see the smallest of smiles drift across his face. “Complimenti.”

My Master Fic List

Taglist: @riptide-kid @kabukiaku @historian-crown@monkberryghouldelight @in-cardi-c-we-thrust @iichorot

[ohheypedrito]

A year ago today, I was hung over. My friend and I went to Taylor Swift the night before. We had a blast, of course. We spent the next day, August 9, laying around and watching real house wives while drinking cheap champagne. Later that day, I got a call from my sister. She wanted to wait until after the concert to tell me that it was time—that I needed to go home because my dad was dying. I booked the flight for the weekend. And then I changed it to go even earlier, leaving at 3 AM in the morning of August 11. When I got there, my dad was still mobile, still speaking, and even joked about playing a prank on me to pretend like I got there too late. Our good time remaining was short, but there were some sweet, funny moments in the midst of the most painful week I’d ever experience. When my dad was barely verbal, he called me into his room and I went rushing in thinking it was an emergency. When I got to his bedside all he said was “trumpolini” (a name we called that asshole as a joke) because trump had been charged. I helped him eat a chocolate malt, his favorite treat, and oh man did he savor it and love it so much. I can still remember him saying “this is delicious.” I had a sore throat, and even though my dad was dying, he kept asking in his weak voice how I was feeling. I remember him looking up at me with big brown sympathetic eyes and saying “your troat” like he would when I was a kid with strep. Worried about my stupid sore throat when he was the one who was dying. I don’t know that I’ll ever feel love that unconditional and insistent again.

It’s a year later and the loss remains sharp as a knife. When I think about it, it feels so massive and gaping that I can’t even believe it’s real. I sit here today from my bed, where I’m laid out due to having my wisdom teeth removed, and I wish I could call him so badly and have him baby me about my stupid teeth. I wish I could tell him about the things I’ve had to do at work that required me to be brave like him. I wish I could joke with him about trump, hear his rants about the Rockies, talk with him about fantasy football.

I don’t know if the pain will get less sharp. I know it ebbs and flows, but when it hits, it’s just as harsh as day one. And I don’t think I want it to either. The pain is a reminder of the love.

Anyways just sort of screaming into the void here. If you read this somehow, for some reason, thanks for listening.

[silverdune]

1978. | introduction

"and that is why i dedicate this album.. to the seven of you."

1978 masterlist | next -> character(s): kim hongjoong (ft. ?? of ateez) tags: rockstar!hj, driver!atz member, 70s setting, concerts, light banter, explicit language, emotions, screaming fans word count: 1.7k summary: for his fifth anniversary, rockstar kim hongjoong holds a concert where he talks about and performs his brand new album: 1978. there, he reveals one by one what the true meaning behind each of its seven tracks is..

The tinted window of a black 1972 BMW New Six is the only thing separating Hongjoong from the night and the crowds of people who have swarmed the underground club he is due to be playing at.

In the backseat, he adjusts his outfit, the one, two, three necklaces resting not-so precariously on his chest in varying lengths, the sunglasses on his bridge and the belt that keeps his jeans comfortably tight on his waist. Smacking his lips together, he tastes the cherry balm he put on an hour ago, and feels the grains of darkly gold glitter on his eyelids. He brushes a hand through his hair and the wax layer of a dozen products laced into every strand leaves it greasy. Half of those products are just to keep it healthy, his new bleached blonde hair job had left his stylists quietly seething last week.

His guitar - a red and white 1960s Fender Stratocaster - is nestled in his right side and tucked safely in its black velvet case. It was the first guitar he had ever owned, the only one he has ever used to record and perform his plethora of songs, and the only one he can foresee using until his fingers grow weak and no longer know how to play. Idly, he drags and pulls his fingers along the case, catching the metal hinges on his nails every so often, and takes a deep breath as he gazes out of the window.

“Number’s in the thousands, Joong,” says the driver, monotonously. He tweaks the rearview mirror and looks at Hongjoong, but the artist does not look back. “They’re all waiting for ya.”

“I know, I know..” Hongjoong mumbles to himself. Never before has he felt so pensive.

Never before has he felt so nervous.

He knows why he is here. He knows why they, his fans are here. Fans. The word still freaks him out to this day.

His fifth anniversary concert.

Nothing could really prepare him for the true sound that had been deadened by the depth of a car door. The flashing lights of a hundred cameras dulled by the window’s glaze.

He doesn’t say a word to the driver as he moves to click the door handle open. Bodyguards, escorts, ushers and marshalls are already waiting on hand and foot before he’s even stepped outside, and just the tiniest gap lets him in on what exactly he needs to take an extra breath for.

The driver catches Hongjoong before he makes the commitment. “Mr. Hongjoong?”

That makes Hongjoong take notice. He turns directly to the rearview mirror, a little befuddled and wanting so badly to roll his eyes at this man. Mr. Hongjoong? He will absolutely poke his neck after this gig.

His driver’s eyes are more prideful and defined than Hongjoong has ever seen them before now. Hongjoong curses him internally, but can’t help a similar smile forming once the glint shows itself. Bastard.

His friend smirks. “Get out there and give ‘em hell.”

Hongjoong cracks then, grabbing his guitar by the arm and pushing the car door a little wider. “You know it best, Jongho.”

Jongho chuckles to himself and leans against the arm rest as the sound of the door closing rings through his ears. He shakes his head and starts the engine. “No one like you, Hongjoong.”

Once Hongjoong firmly closes the door behind him, he is immediately surrounded by bodyguards ensuring he gets inside the venue swiftly and safely. Beyond their large statures, he can hear everyone’s voices, some screaming his name, others yelling terms of endearment or declarations of love, some merely cheering for his arrival. The strength of excitement from all corners fills Hongjoong’s head so fast he could almost collapse on the floor, but the weight of his guitar and the speed at which he is walking means he ends up in the venue with little fuss.

Seconds later, he finds himself backstage, almost as though he teleported there. The concert isn’t due to start for another hour, but the amount of preparation needed means Hongjoong needs ample time to get ready.

He enters the dressing room and instantly sits down on his assigned seat. Makeup and hair stylists twirl around him with tools, products, brushes and sponges, layering the look for the night which Hongjoong had pitched as whimsical. The gold glitter is joined by smokey eyeliner, specks of silver are scattered across his cheeks, a star and moon sticker are placed, one on each outer corner of the eye, and his balmed lips are covered by a smooth caramel lipstick. His hair is doused in so much hairspray, along with a few comments over the condition of it that Hongjoong diligently waves off.

Once he is out of the dressing room - the outfit of the night having been decided by him - he makes his way backstage to ensure the audio is working correctly and that his mic or guitar won’t suddenly cut out midway. Everybody is rushing around, and he almost gets the urge to tell them to stop and breathe for a few seconds, but he knows in his heart they won’t listen.

Everything is happening so fast that even he doesn’t get a chance to stop and breathe.

The only milliseconds he gets between all the chaos come when his guitar is safely on his shoulder.

The moment he is finally able to pick a few strings absent-mindedly and just sit with it all, is the first time he detects the bustling sound of thousands of fans waiting for him to take the stage.

“You’re on in five!” says a voice, pulling him from his reverie. Hongjoong stutters out of his trance and sees the stagehand holding up a five to indicate the minutes. He nods, though not fully with the reality that he is about to have his biggest gig to date.

Five years. How the fuck did this even happen?

The minutes fade to seconds before Hongjoong has time to ponder it, and with nothing else left to lose, he steps out onto stage, immediately greeted by the passionate chorus of the crowd.

Upon first glance, all Hongjoong can do is beam. He walks up to the microphone and puts a hand on top, “Good evening, everyone!”

The uproar in response causes him to laugh nervously. Each fleck of glitter sparkles in the spotlight, and the photographers at the very front of the crowd start taking pictures one, after another, after another.

“Wow..” Hongjoong breathes after a time. He hasn’t performed one song and yet the adrenaline is at an all time high. “This is fucking crazy. You are all fucking crazy, d’you know that?” The crowd screams and he chuckles. “I cannot believe this.. It’s been five fucking years!” A mix of applause and cheering fills his ears to the brim. He joins in for a while, but gently requests their quiet for him to continue his speech. “I know.. Honestly, I was sitting in the car more than an hour before the show, and I just.. sat there for a little while. I had to really let it sink in that it’s been that long and yet it feels like absolutely no time has passed.” Murmurs of agreement follow. “Right? And I just couldn’t believe it, so- It’s the anniversary concert, as you know-” The crowd begin warming up, getting more enthralled as they listen. “And as I’m sure you also know, I released a new album today to celebrate!”

The announcement comes as a surprise to no fan, and yet the response is insane. Hongjoong has to calm them down again just to continue speaking. “I released an album today, entitled 1978- yeah, I know- and of course.. I’m gonna perform it for you all tonight.” His smile radiates through the entire arena, and the thousands of fans from the front all the way to the gods can see it. They cry, shout, cheer and scream for him as he preps his guitar for the first track.

As the noise dies down, he carries on.

“So, this album is incredibly important to me. It’s a very personal album, and I’ve been working on it for the past few months. Actually, I was working on this album when I was doing my last album, Nights High in the Wind, but these songs I wanted specifically for this album. You’re probably wondering why I called it 1978, huh?” The fans shout in confirmation. “Well, when I started working on this project, I didn’t know what I was gonna call it for the longest time, in fact, I literally only decided on it last month.” Sounds of surprise fill the arena. “I know, I know,” he breathes a laugh. “But, I chose it because last September, I was having a chat with one of my closest friends, you might know him.. Seonghwa? Is he here tonight?”

The lights move until they reach one specific spot of the arena. Not only is Seonghwa there, but Hongjoong just knows there are six other individuals with him.

Hongjoong smiles fondly, his heart ticking up a notch. “Hey!” He waves, and the seven wave back excitedly. “Glad you’re all here.” I fucking love you guys, I am so fucking happy you’re here, do not make me cry on this fucking stage- “It’s actually so perfect you’re all here, but- where was I? Oh, right! Seonghwa and I were having a chat last September, and after a while he said: 1978 is gonna be your year. 1978, that’s the big one.”

Even from afar, Hongjoong can see Seonghwa proudly nodding.

“And it didn’t hit me until last month but.. yeah! It makes too much sense, I absolutely had to call it 1978. But there’s something else that the guys up there don’t know yet.”

Suspense begins to build. It’s now Hongjoong’s turn to be smug.

“Let me ask you all this: how many tracks are on this new album?”

It takes a few seconds, but when it starts to click, the noise is absolutely raucous.

“That’s right! Seven tracks.. One for each of the most important people in my life.”

The seven exchange differing looks of amazement, bewilderment, fondness and love.

Hongjoong firmly plants his feet behind the microphone and takes a deep breath.

“All of you have impacted my life in ways you don’t even know, and that is why I dedicate this album.. to the seven of you.”

The lights dim, the crowd screams, and Hongjoong plays the first chord.

taglist: @bikerjongho × @viviixlyy

× tristeetconfus (ave). do not repost. ×

[lovebombs4life]

the story of us - c.t.h

requested: yes! “Could you do a calum x reader, please?!

They are together since sgfg era (they met at a concert of her) and you could write their story (like timeline)”

a/n: i love this idea so so so much. i’m tweaking some of it just a bit, but i hope you enjoy it :) this took me like 2-3 days to write. i have two other requests i haven’t even started in bc i love this one so much.

cw: swearing, implications of drinking and sexual activities

———

2015

being a small artist was so exciting, but so exhausting. trying to get publicity and more recognition sucked, with a big capital S.

my life has completely changed when my manger had called me, asking if i wanted to be an opener for an uprising band, 5 Seconds of Summer. of course i immediately said yes.

i had seen them before live. they opened for one direction when they were first starting out. they were incredible, and opening for them would be such a dream. tour started next month, giving me time to catch up on all their music.

their voices were unbelievable. i remember hearing amnesia when i had been broken up with last year, and listening to it now, i no longer think of him. now all i can think of is how beautiful it sounded.

i looked into the band, searching up common stuff about them. calum’s tan skin and tattoos has drawn me in. his hair was beautiful, he was beautiful.

i couldn’t let that distract me from being professional when we met. i pushed aside those feelings, waiting for tour to start.

———

a month later

i shook with excitement as i was being driven to the first venue. i had yet to meet the boys, and to say i was nervous was an understatement.

as we pulled up to the venue, i could see thousands of girls already standing outside, waiting to get in. my stomach flipped at the sight. sure i’ve performed live before, but this was a lot more than i’ve ever played for. i shook off the nerves of performing, focusing back on my first impression with the band.

the car parked, and i stepped out, walking to the entrance of the venue. i was lead by a security guard to the large dressing rooms. the sounds of laughing and yelling were heard through the door before i walked in.

“everyone, this is y/n y/l/n, your opener. y/n, this is the band.” the security spoke to me, leaving me with everyone. they all looked at me with soft smiles. my eyes landed on calum, my breathe hitching as he watched me walk through the door.

“i’m sure you already know, but i’m luke, that’s michael there, ashton, and calum.” luke smiled brightly. they all stood up, taking turns hugging me.

“it’s great to meet you guys. it’s crazy that i’m your opener. it feels like i saw you guys opening for one direction just a week ago, but here i am opening for you this time.” i spoke, waving my hands around.

calum chuckles at my actions. i blushed, smiling at them. “we’re excited that you’re here. your music is fantastic, and we’ve already seen some posts from fans saying they can’t wait to see you live.” calum said.

“i’m glad. im incredibly nervous. how long until i’m on?” i asked, looking for a clock. “little less than an hour.” michael piped up, looking at his phone.

my eyes widened, not ready at all. “i’m gonna go warm up a bit, see you all later!” i said, walking into my own seperate dressing room.

i began my warm ups, and before i knew it, i was halfway through my set. “alright everyone, we’re gonna slow it down a bit, and i’m gonna do an acoustic cover, how’s that sound?” i spoke into my mic. the crowd went crazy.

i chuckled as i put my mic back on the stand, grabbing my guitar. “so this is one of my favorite songs actually, and it means a lot to me. it’s called everything had changed, by this super cool chick named taylor swift. if you know the words, sing along!” i announced.

i started strumming my guitar, listening to the muffled screaming through my ear pieces. i smiled as i saw calum watching me from off stage. he gave me a smile and a thumbs up. my heart fluttered.

i turned back and sung the words. i knew my face was red as it was, but if i could see myself i knew i would be bright red. calum mouthed the words as i sung, making me giggle a bit.

once i finished the song, i said my goodbyes to the crowd. i passed calum, giving him a high five. “that was fantastic!” he cheered, pulling my arm back and giving me a hug. i pressed my face to his chest, taking in his scent.

i needed something to subside this little crush that was lingering in my mind. “thanks cal! just thirty more minutes then you guys will be on stage! they’re all going crazy waiting for you.” i laughed.

he watched me as i walked away, going to my dressing room to grab a snack.

soon enough the boys were due to go on stage. i walked around to the side of the stage, watching calum as he plucked the strings on his bass. i sung along to every song, watching calum the whole time.

every so often he would turn his face towards me, watching me as i danced around and sung with him. he would laugh and shake his head slightly.

the concert went on, and i could see some fans pointing to calum as he kept looking to the side. i giggled, thinking how they’d never know he was watching me. it was such an innocent thing, but i knew we’d have to keep things professional in the end.

“alright i want everyone to scream the words to this with us! i wanna hear you loud and clear and i want to see you jump!” luke yelled.

“i just want to say before we start, this song is going to be dedicated to the most gorgeous girl ive ever met. this is ‘she looks so perfect’” calum spoke, winking at me.

i blushed madly as the crowd went wild. after the show, calum handed his bass to a stage manager, and grabbed my hand, pulling me to his dressing room.

“what are you doing to me cal? my mind is going a million miles a minute just thinking of you.” i spoke, running my hand through my hair. he chuckled.

“i know it’s all so soon, but i believe in love at first sight, y/n. you make me crazy.” he spoke, getting closer to me. he held my hips as i wrapped my arms around his neck.

“let’s just see where it all leads, yeah? let time consume us.” i spoke. he nodded, pressing a kiss to my forehead.

this was only the start.

———

2016

after tour, i kept in touch with all the boys, but especially calum. soon after tour, we started dating. just a few months ago, we moved in together, sharing an apartment.

since moving in together, we’ve had countless movie nights, date nights, nights where we’d cook with each other, sick days, and so many other things. we’d already been together for a year, but it felt like we’ve been together for years.

“y’know, i really love you.” calum spoke softly as he played with my hair. my head was resting on his bare chest, tracing his tattoos. we’d both just gotten done showering, deciding to lay down and get ready for bed.

“i really love you too cal.” i blushed, looking up at him. his sweet eyes stared down into mine, giving me a soft kiss. i put my head back down, listening to his heart beating.

———

in the morning i woke up in an empty bed, looking for cal. i shifted around, finally getting up. i grabbed a pair of calum’s boxers and a sweater before walking out of our room. i could hear the soft sound of guitar from down the hall.

as i walked into the living room, calum started humming, stopping every so often. i knew he was in the middle of writing. he looked up when he heard my soft footsteps on the floor. “hey! i wanna read you these lyrics, wanna know what you think.” he spoke. i smiled, sitting down next to him.

i grabbed his journal, reading what he wrote. “i’m not sure if i’ll bring it up to the boys any time soon..” he trailed off as i read it.

��we know we’re classic together like egyptian gold.

we love us.

it don’t matter,

be combative or be sweet cherry pie,

it don’t matter just as long as i get all you tonight.”

he hummed it as i read, squeezing my leg. “cal that’s beautiful! you’ve gotta bring this one to the boys.” i encouraged. he blushed, pulling me closer to him.

“it’s about you. doesn’t matter if we stay in or go out, just as long as i’ve got you. as long as i get to love you.” he spoke. i blushed, pushing him back against the couch. i straddled his hips, kissing him.

“why don’t you show me how much you love me?” i asked him. he smirked, grabbing my waist.

———

2018

“i can take you out, oh, oh! we can kill some time, stay home!” calum sang, watching me as i danced from the crowd. i smiled at him as he watched. he signaled for a security guard to come close, speaking to them briefly before they walked to me.

“calum says he wants to bring you up on stage, follow me please.” he spoke. i nodded and followed. once on the side of the stage, i was handed a mic.

i listened as calum spoke. “i wanted to bring out a very special girl, my wonderful girlfriend, y/n y/l/n!” he announced. i walked out on stage, waving to the crowd.

“hello! i’m going to be honest, i didn’t know calum was going to bring me up here!” i laughed. the boys were still playing. they were at the bridge in valentine, playing it slowly.

calum took his bass off and set it down gently. he walked to me, grabbing one of my hands. “y/n i’ve loved you for the past 3 years, and im forever going to love you,” he began. i turned my head in confusion.

“you’re the most wonderful person i’ve met in my life. you’re the one who inspired this song, and what feels like millions more. you’re my muse.” he continued, letting go of my hand and grabbing something in his pocket. he set his microphone down, getting on his knee.

my eyes widened. i handed my microphone off to a stage hand, turning back to calum. he held a small velvet box, opened to show a beautiful diamond ring. “will you marry me?” he yelled to me over the sound of the crowd. i nodded my head quickly, my hands over my face. i got down to his level, holding out my left hand. he slid the ring onto my finger, pulling my face in for a kiss.

tears fell from my eyes out of excitement. “i love you!” i yelled to him. “i love you!” he yelled back.

he was the one i was going to spend the rest of my life with.

———

2020

it was CALM release day. calum and i have been together for five years now, and married for a year.

our wedding was very private, but we took plenty of pictures to share with the fans. i’ve never been more proud of calum.

calum was at another interview today, and of course i was by his side the whole time. i stood off set, watching as they talked about the album. “what’s your guys’ favorite song off the new album, and why?” the host asked. they all looked at each other, thinking of their answers.

“easily mine is wildflower. y/n was a big inspiration for that song, and she even helped us write and produce some of our music. which i want to mention, her new album comes out in two months!” calum smiled at me.

after the interview, he captured me in a tight hug. “you have no idea how proud of you i am, cal.” i kissed him. “and you have no idea how proud of you i am, y/n.” he spoke as we walked to the car, leaving for the next interview already.

———

once we got home from celebrating the album, calum and i decided to relax in bed having a movie night. we decided on watching ‘juno’, one of our favorite movies.

“have you ever thought about having one?” calum asked. i looked up at him confused. “one what, cal?” i questioned.

“a baby, y/n. have you ever thought about having one?” he explained. i smiled at him. “of course i have cal, i’ve always known i’ve wanted to be a mother some day.” i watched his eyes flicker to my lips.

“what about having a baby with me?” he held on tight to me as he asked. i nodded my head. “all the time. it’s been in my mind since before we got married.”

“what do you say we make one?” he said, stroking my hair. my eyes widened. “now? shit if you’re down, let’s do it.” i laughed. he climbed on top of me, and i prepared myself for the night ahead. calum was a determined person, and i knew he’d go all night if it meant getting me pregnant.

———

a few weeks later i had woken up, feeling like absolute shit. i sprung up from the bed, running to the bathroom. while throwing up everything from my system, that moment, i knew i was pregnant. since that night i had stopped drinking alcohol and switched to decaf coffee just to be sure of no issues. calum had stopped smoking, and we could do was wait to have a positive test.

once done, i quickly scrambled to grab a pregnancy test from under the sink. i did my thing and set it on the counter, result side face down. “calum?” i yelled from the bathroom.

he hurried into the room, thinking i was hurt. “are you alright? what’s wrong?” he asked, grabbing my face, holding me close. that’s when he had seen the test on the counter.

“you really think..?” he started. i nodded my head. “i woke up with morning sickness. i know it may not mean anything but, i don’t know, ive just got a feeling.” i said. he held onto me, standing with me while we waited.

i grabbed out my phone, setting up my camera to record our reaction. i was so sure, but at the same time it could’ve been nothing.

i had taken some videos before, and they were negative, but that was me just waiting to see if it’d happen. of course, calum was with me during each, but for this one he held me tighter.

“ready?” i asked him, the video already recording. “as i can be.” he replied, smiling. i grabbed the test from the counter. “okay. one, two, three.” i spoke, flipping the test over. i studied the lines, but quickly saw two solid pink lines. i covered my mouth, showing calum. his eyes widened grabbing the test from me, looking at it for himself.

“we’re pregnant.” i stayed, watching him set the test down. he grabbed me, squeezing me tightly. “i’m gonna be a fucking dad!” he cried, kissing me.

“we’re gonna be parents!” i squeaked, tears slipping from my eyes. i grabbed my phone, ending the video. i took a picture of the test, and sent both to my family and calum’s.

we were flooded with congratulations from our families. we waked back to the room, laying with each other. we both posted the video and the picture on our social medias, announcing to the world that we’re going to have a baby.

———

nine months feels like a life time, but also so short once you have your baby. on november 8th, 2020, we had our beautiful baby boy, charlie.

calum and i spent every waking moment loving him, and loving each other. being home from the hospital was a relief, as we were able to finally have alone time from friends and family.

this was the start of our small family.

———

2022

5sos5 released just a few months ago, and charlie was soon turning two. time has flown by, but everything is absolutely perfect.

luke had brought up the idea for calum and i to make another version of ‘Older’, knowing our voices went well together. we decided to do so, and released it. the song was beautiful as it is with luke and sierra, but it felt so much more special now that calum and i had an official song together.

calum and i sat together by our fireplace, enjoying the warmth in the cold weather. we had just found I’m pregnant again, and we’re basking in the love of each other. charlie was asleep in his crib, the baby monitor close by incase he started to fuss.

calum got up, grabbing my hand to come with. he walked me to the kitchen, grabbing his phone out. he searched something up before hitting play, and propping open the refrigerator door. “you’re so cheesy. i love it.” i giggled.

he grabbed my waist, clasping one of our hands together. i rested my other hand on his shoulder. he swayed with me, just as we did for our first dance after getting married.

he kissed the top of my head, holding me close. “you’re so perfect, y/n. i’m so in love with you.” he spoke softly.

“i’m so in love with you cal. you were meant just for me.” i spoke, pressing my lips to his.

“as forever comes closer,

hope the world will spin slower,

i don’t want to get older.

i don’t want to get older.”

[morathicain]

It’s time for a new happiness - Pisaeng/Kawi

Warning: breakup, miscommunication, the author’s frustration about episode 10 screams loud in this one

!Don’t like don’t read and don’t complain if you still do it!

Anyway, have fun? I guess?

When Kawi entered their apartment around midnight after his latest concert gig, exhaustion weighing heavy on his shoulders, the lights were still on. Was Pisaeng still awake?

They rarely met at nights like this because Pisaeng  had to get up early and Kawi usually came home late and needed some time to rewind, even if his body screamed for the bed already. Sometimes he’d even sleep on the sofa just so he wouldn’t disturb his partner of eight years. But today, it was different and when Kawi met Pisaeng in the kitchen, sitting on one of the chairs with only a glass of water in front of him, clearly waiting, the dread finally settled in his bones.

He hated this. He’d always hated this. The tension of a serious talk to come, the helplessness of not knowing what would be said, the inability to anticipate the next words, the outcome and what he was supposed to say to make it right, to make it better. Kawi would much rather figure things out on his own and change them so that there was no talk necessary. It had come to the point where Pisaeng didn’t even try anymore and in Kawi’s book that was a win, right? Right?!

“Oh, hey”, he laughed awkwardly, carefully putting his bags away instead of dropping them into the most convenient corner, “You can’t sleep?”

Pisaeng’s voice was somber and calm, not the way he’d usually greet Kawi with a smile that could be heard in every corner of their rooms: “Hello Kawi. How was the gig?”

“Good, good”, Kawi let out an awkward laugh, the tension in his neck so high by now, it was a wonder he hadn’t turned into a stone statue yet, “A full house and the owner gave us a bonus for getting so many people in.”

The following chuckle was a bit softer, Pisaeng’s “I am glad then” almost normal enough for Kawi to persuade himself that everything was well. That it was nothing but his exhausted imagination, that ...

“Kawi”, the seriousness was back and Kawi’s breath caught in his throat, “I know you’re tired and I’m sorry but we need to talk and I haven’t seen you for three days.”

“Ah”, Kawi straightened and scratched his neck with an awkward laugh, avoiding his partner’s eyes desperately, “I’m sorry, it’s been such a busy week with the festival and our usual gigs. I promise it will get better soon. Did you eat anything already?”

“Kawi ...”

“You probably did, of course”, Kawi forced himself not to run to the fridge, taking the longest way possible so he wasn’t anywhere near Pisaeng, “Did you go shopping as well? I am starving, I tell you. They always want to give us drinks but never food.”

“Kawi ...!”

Not even perceiving what was in the fridge, Kawi closed it forcefully again, wincing. “Was your day okay? I know the office has some deadlines coming up, right? You really shouldn’t have waited, I know you don’t get enough sl ...”

A loud bang made Kawi flinch and shut up, involuntarily turning around towards Pisaeng. Pisaeng who was standing by now, leaning on both his hands on the table, trembling. It was a foreign experience to see Pisaeng’s anger so clearly, mixed with a new kind of helplessness, for once not covered by a smile.

“Pisaeng, why ...”

“I’m in love with someone else.”

Kawi’s whole body froze and he could do nothing but stare. What?

Taking a deep breath, Pisaeng reigned in the anger, leaving only sadness: “I have fallen in love with someone else and I want to break up.”

Break up? Nausea overwhelmed Kawi’s mind, flashbacks of their moments together, of bad futures and trying pasts threatening to overcome him.

“I’m sorry”, Pisaeng looked as if he wished he could step close to comfort Kawi but he stayed put, didn’t move even for one centimeter, “We tried and you tried, I know. But while trying to give everyone a happy future and make the right decisions, we can’t forget our own. And this right now? It’s not making either of us happy.”

The words sank in like stones and Kawi felt sick to his stomach. He could do nothing but curl his hands into fists and stare and wish himself away.

A look of pity crossed Pisaeng’s face and Kawi hated it, hated the whole man suddenly, no matter how afraid he was to let him go, to be left alone, once again.

“He”, Kawi swallowed, “Doe he ...” make you happy?

The pity vanished and Kawi didn’t know what to make of the mixture of emotions he now saw: “Of course, that’s the thing you’d ask about. You’re not even angry, not ... Kawi, I didn’t cheat on you, I only fell for someone else and had to realise that we don’t work out anymore. Haven’t done so for a long time actually.”

“Who ...”

“Does it matter? I haven’t even told him yet and I’m not sure I will. Not for a while at least, not while I still struggle with my feelings for you.”

Kawi swallowed: “Do you still love me?”

Pisaeng looked away for a moment, choosing his next words carefully, deliberately, putting another knife into Kawi’s heart anyway: “Not like I used to. Not the way I need to, to stay your partner. I still love our memories, your fondness of food, your puppy eyes and your voice, but it’s different. It’s not enough.”

 ‘You’re not enough’ was the addition Kawi couldn’t but hear next to Pisaeng’s actual words. It hurt despite knowing that Pisaeng would tell him it wasn’t the case if he uttered those thoughts. It hurt ...

“Kawi”, Pisaeng said after a long moment of silence and Kawi could see and hear the old fondness again, proof of what they’d once had, “It’s not your job to make everyone happy. We’re all our own people and now it’s your job to find your own.”

It was as if a big weight had suddenly dropped from the centre of his chest. Tears threatened to overcome Kawi and he didn’t even know why. Was it heartbreak? Was it relief? All at once?

Tentative steps made him look up, his sight foggy from the tears in his eyes, his breath trembling. Now, Pisaeng was finally in front of him, so familiar and strange at once, his face and body screaming “sorry” and Kawi didn’t want to hear it. But he also did and he didn’t know, wouldn’t know ...

“What do you need, Kawi? Right now?”

The softness was killing him but with the gates that had been closed for so long open suddenly, he couldn’t stop the flood, the sudden surge of needs and wishes and dreams and broken hopes.

“Can you hug me?”, he asked, voice trembling, “One last time?”

And Pisaeng smiled, almost like in old times.

“Of course.”

~~~

The next morning, Pisaeng packed a small suitcase and a bag.

“What about the sheets you chose?”

“You can keep them.”

“They’re ugly, I don’t want them”, Kawi pulled a face and Pisaeng laughed.

“I’ll get them later when I have a new apartment.”

Kawi hummed in agreement and watched his now ex-partner considering his packing carefully. Still in his pyjamas, Kawi was sipping his coffee, his heart weirdly calm and peaceful. Maybe it was because he’d cried so much last night or maybe it was just a short moment, maybe it was real relief. Whatever it was, Kawi didn’t want to think too much about it currently because right now, he felt more relaxed than he’d done for ages. Which was a realisation he for sure had to delve into later but not now.

Now, he was laughing at his boyfriends ex-boyfriends friends (?) struggles with the knowledge that this wouldn’t be the end, no matter what path they’d choose in the future.

“Don’t go the lone wolf route, alright? Tell Max, tell Pear if you want to and I know Fluke will be happy to support you, too. Don’t think you’re alone again, okay? Because you aren’t.”

“Okay, okay”, Kawi rolled his eyes fondly, “I’ll let you know I’m still alive from time to time.”

Pisaeng huffed and flicked Kawi’s forehead before turning to the door: “I’ll tell you as soon as I have an apartment and we can sort out the rest then.”

“Sure, sure ... wait!”

Confused, Pisaeng stopped and stood there while Kawi ran into the kitchen suddenly and came back with an old, battered up mug full of blue turles which he pushed into Pisaeng’s hands: “Don’t forget your old favourites. Even if you’re on your way to find new ones.”

And Pisaeng smiled, pressing the mug against his chest: “I promise I won’t.”

the End

[widowsliver]

best concert/festival experience? actually, you can talk about multiple concerts, i like hearing about them

these asks have literally become my daily treat at this point. going to give you my top 3 experiences >:)

1. The 1975 @ Finsbury Park

I mean I feel like this is the very obvious answer considering, y’know, my entire blog, but this event was just so emotional for me that it has to be my number one. everything ran (relatively) perfect for me and my friend and I was so anxious the weeks leading up to it I genuinely thought I was going to sell my ticket — I’d never been to a gig in London on my own before (let alone be in London on my own) and was so worried about travel and safety. I’m so glad I didn’t. the memories I have from that night have been engraved in my brain forever. the crowd that was around me were amazing, my view was amazing, the food and merch (albeit extortionate) were amazing, and the boys were just the best you could possibly ask for. seeing japanese house as well was a major plus. they played some of my favourite songs that I hadn’t heard live before (love me, people, ballad) that the pain of getting out of the park was worth the experience. I’ve had such bad post concert blues from it (cured now that I know the next time I’m going to be seeing them will be at reading!!!) and that was all because of how much the event meant to me. bawled my eyes out!

2. Alter Bridge w/ Halestorm & Mammoth WVH @ Resorts World Arena

this gig will always be so special to me because this was the second gig that I’d been too that wasn’t the closest city to me and was the second gig I ever properly queued for (the first on both occasions being olivia rodrigo). I think I queued for a total of 6 hours (my longest to date) and was number 15 in the whole queue. I hadn’t gone for the headliners (alter bridge), I’d gone specifically to see halestorm and the goddess that is lzzy hale. this was also the gig that introduced me to mammoth wvh who have now become one of my all time favs (very lucky to have seen them again in wembley supporting mötley crüe). this gig was also the first setlist and pick I’d gotten at the gig (I have a matty healy pick, but didn’t get it from the gig itself) — setlist from mammoth’s bassist ronnie ficarro, and a halestorm pick from the woman in-front of me on the barricade who heard me screaming my heart out and gave it to me because she was just there to see alter bridge. I had also had a massive culture shock to how big the arena actually was, and one of the women who I made friends with was an ex firefighter and taught me what to do during a crowd crush! an experience I’ll definitely never forget (also convinced lzzy looked at me at least twice).

3. Isle Of Wight Festival 2023

this was my first proper festival (just a day ticket though) and it honestly was such a good experience we’re planning on doing the whole weekend next year. my friend is a very, very talented photographer who was photographing one of the tents at the festival, so it was amazing being able to hang out with him as we live quite far away from each other. the best act we saw were 110% onerepublic who were just an absolute joy to watch, an amazing performance, and funnily enough an arctic monkeys tribute band at the end of the night when we were all high on adrenaline dancing our hearts out! I will also mentioned the sugababes because I enjoyed them a lot more than I actually thought I would. once again extortionate (but you can’t really do much about that) but the scran was banging and not once did we feel uncomfortable whilst we were on the site the entire time — getting back was also nice and easy! the only downside was having to say goodbye, which is obviously never easy, but we’re hopefully seeing each other again soon and I can’t wait :)

[captainimprobable]

Things, bc I haven’t done this in awhile

-I’m seeing Taylor Swift in concert in a little over a week! I’m very excited, but it’s marred by this whole Matty Heely thing.  I’m hoping it doesn’t ruin the experience, bc I’ve been waiting for this since I was a kid.

-Someone on tiktok live tonight said I was their gay awakening and I’m still screaming

-I need to go!!! Somewhere else! I am very stifled in this house, I hate living at home sm, I spent an hour looking for just places to go for the weekend, and I can’t even afford that.  I’m stuck!!!! I’m making no money, I’m going to hit 30 with a job I hate, no money, living with my parents, etc.  I’m trying very hard not to let it bother me!!!! But. It’s hard.

-Trying to do a sleep study but THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE DOESN’T ANSWER THEIR GODDAMN PHONE

-I’m throwing a prom in my backyard in a few weeks for all the queer people who didn’t get a good prom experience. I bought a dress and everything.

-I’m hitting three months with the gf next week which is wild. We’re going to the aquarium this weekend!

-I’m at 18 Owl House fics on ao3!!!

-I haven’t been paid in weeks, but when my job finally decides to get off their asses and pay me, I’m gonna work on my timeskip amity cosplay

-It’s been SIX MONTHS since my depressive episode!!!! Half a year!!!! My life is so different now.   -I need to shave my undercut but I’m SO lazy. As soon as my blue fades (which can take a million years) I’m going GINGER.

[cishetamine]

lily rose depp

they were calling her a nepo baby

ticketmaster investigation

i waited in that queue for 7 fucking hours

i waited 7 hours

and my dad waited 7 hours

the cheapest tickets were like $200

and taylor swift’s apology was so fucking bullshit

i do feel like it wasn’t totally in her control

harry stiles and ed sheeran

they

he’s the #1 most listened person on spotify!

i was so pissed off on tuesday

i saw how long the queue was when i tried to join

he paid like $500 for VIP

the fees are bad!

yeah they add up!

i’ve been scouting out tickets

it was row 2 of the 3rd tier

it should’ve been 80, it bumped up to 120 in fees

so i decided i was

there’s an app they were promoting on tiktok

you pay like a monthly membership and u get like a shitload of discounts

i hope ticketmaster gets like taken down

this is the community college i’m gonna go to!

i’d be terrified to—

did you sign up for classes next semester?

hopefully i can transfer to UIC

wait what

are you..a sophomore with your credits?

seems like their studies were interrupted

college algebra i should be okay with but biology is just not my thing

i’m gonna take speech next semester, which is required for PR

it’s so fun watching her interact with the snow

baby’s first snow

public speaking

it’s a requirement for my major

my brother took it for

business degree

i hate listening to my voice on camera

you have to talk abt stupid things

he did his on why videogames are like bad for kids

which they don’t talk abt in college as much these days. bc they’re like too talked about

the last 2 months of my philosophy class last year we just did political debates like every single day

ppl are afraid teachers won’t grade them fairly bc there’s lots of opinion and bias

canadian college

abortion and euthanasia were all not allowed

ooh there’s the dugout

is that a bar?

is that the rooftop right there?

it’s actually really cute.

ohh! he’s going on a cruise i think! with like regina’s family over thanksgiving.

he straight up told me that [pronoun indecipherable] doesn’t like having sex

like receiving it?

you’re so selfish

what’s wrong with you!

i saw her private story

all she does is post like carter and monty, that’s it.

when she got accepted she said she hasn’t even toured it yet

she skipped it to go to starbucks with us

i’ve never met anyone lazier in my fucking life

community college

you don’t wanna end up like her that’s for sure

my mom said

if you’re gonna drop out and never go back,

i was telling

holding me here against my will

your family needs a reality tv show

it would get so many views

sister

my parents had to flush her pills down the toilet

bc you’re only supposed to be taking them for like 2 weeks

her like SCREAMING in the background. like SCREAMING

she was hooked on oxy

i’m excited for the new season

they canceled it!

They canceled it?!!??

there was rumors about a bunch of major actors leaving the show

sidney sweeney

trump supporter

i love when the internet comes in with opinions

i feel like you can’t really cancel an actor unless they do something

armie hammer! yeah he works at a hotel now

there was like leaked—

just got put on netflix which is like, shit timing

everyone likes the summer in italy

i’ve always liked

2 more stops

i don’t know…i don’t see the appeal

it doesn’t look that great to me but i want to see it

don’t worry darling

i didn’t neeed to see it

walk out of the theater like after watching interstellar

if you’re not gonna make a sequel don’t you dare leave a movie un..

i know the harry stans are going crazy right now.

i look at him more and more like he’s not all that. he looks like a lot of other people

great personality, but

he’s that one person who’s like too into tiktok trends like he’s right behind them

i’ve never been to a harry styles concert but

it also pissed me off how long it took him to reveal what the gender was

there was like a part 2 like what the fuck, just put it in 1 video!

i wish i’d got starbucks before i came here

we’re going to a cafe!

yeah but

very.. adult drinks

do you need your chocolate—

haha yeah, kinda!

i like the sugar cookie—

the gingerbread latte

my sister

you were there for this

my sister was like:

i can’t wait for christmas so i can get a peppermint mocha!

and i was like how many times do i have to tell you: you can get a peppermint mocha year round!

yeah, but it’s different when it’s christmas!

hits different

[venomm-demonn]

Hey guys

Yea so I’ve been absent.

But here is the rest of what I have prepared for Whump month

These school projects are whopping my a$$ so I can’t say I will finish this.

Still havnt figured the cut out

Thank you to @cirrus-ghoulette

Day four: scars.

PhantomXpapa

All ghouls had scars. Either from element changes, past traumas from the pit, or old operations.

Even scars from just life things.

But when phantom was summoned into the abbey, he had scars he hid with everything he had. Not going with them to the beach or pools, not changing in the change rooms with them, and overall did anything in his power to make sure none of them saw the scars along his chests. The scars from his surgery. His top surgery.

And today was no exception, making sure to change in his dressing room, that was shared with papa,when papa wasn’t there.

Except he was completely shirtless when papa came in, using his key.

Phantom didn’t have time to react. And papa didn’t even blink a eye at his scars. Just giving him a once over and going to his desk.

« don’t tell anyone. Please. »

Phantom said, pulling his shirt on.

« Why would I? I have them too,don’t worry. »

Papa replied casually.

Phantom smiled and finished getting ready for the concert. It was thier secret. The next concert papa even showed phantom his own, comparing how well each healed. Phantom felt so excited and happy to have found someone who relates.

Day five: ritual

Cirrus X Culums X Sunshine

Cirrus and Culumus were always close. From the day they were summoned to now. But they both remember the day Sunshine got summoned.

They waited and saw her reach out from the pits. The pain of getting pulled up and out. And into the Top-side. They each grabbed a hand and pulled her out. The earth shattering scream they knew to well. Finally out they wrapped a blanket around her shoulders and walked her out of the hall. But it was no where close to done. Once they got the soot and ichor off her, they gave her her uniform. They took her back to the hall for the masking ceremony.

The mixed Ghoulette was handed a mask. The mask that bound her to Papa.

They remember the moment very well.

The silence and pause. Her scared eyes looking over everyone. How she lifted the mask to her head before putting it on. The claps and cheers from everyone.

After the main ritual, they took her under her wing. Sunshine was the newest for awhile.

The shock from the ritual lasted a few weeks. Sunshines body sore from pushing herself out of the pit, and getting used to her body on the topside. Culumus and Cirrus gave her clothes, and helped her with her hair and kept her comfortable and company while she settled in. They helped her get used to her air element, all while dew was very good with helping her with her fire too.

But they didn’t account for was how hard the transition from the pits to the topside would hit her. She felt lost and empty. Not in a homesick way, she doesn’t want to go back to the pits, but the feeling of difference up on the topside conspired to the pits. And every ghoul or ghoulette goes through it, but it hit her hard. Her whole life changed and brand new was something that took alot of mental capacity and it tired her out.

But with the help of Culumus and Cirrus she began to feel better and more comfortable.

Day six: phobia

RainXdew

It was a rainy day. Thunder and lightning shook the trees. The bangs and rattling of trees against the windows was very calming to everyone. They loved it. Most of them on the uppermost commons in the top of the abbey to hear it better. Well almost everyone. Rain did a head count to notice that few was no where to be seen.

He set his book down and headed downstairs and looked around to find dew.

To no avail.

He checked the rooms, the ghouls Den, and even the library, but still couldn’t find Dew.

The only place he didn’t account for was his own room. After awhile he decided to go back to his and complete the search and jsut text him instead, but as soon and he opened the door, he found Dew. Huddled up on Rains bed was a shaking Dew. A blanket over his shoulders and headphone over his head which he held tightly to his ears with his eyes closed. Every thunder strike he seemed to grip the headphone tighter and jump.

Rain walked over putting a hand on his shoulder and sat beside him.

« What’s wrong…? Is it the storm? »

He asked gently and calmly.

Dew nodded.

That was a first. The usual firey and strong ghoul now shaking and curled up over a storm. Rain hugged him close to him. Pulling the head phones of gently before holding him close to his chest. One hand over his ear, the other pressed against his chest. Dew calmed eventually and stopped shaking.

[letterstoself]

thursday august 24th 2023, 2:58 am

dear me,

hi beautiful. i can’t help but smile just now at the thought of you, of us i suppose. where we’ll be, everything we’ll become. i’m struggling right now my love. i really am. but i’m doing everything i can in order for you to have clarity soon. mentally, i’ve hit a wall. i feel so drained of energy, i feel as though i’m punishing myself by being here and staying with someone. i want to be alone. i want it to be just me and the people i love. i’ve decided to start these thursday letters. my story first began on a thursday, and so i’ll share my thoughts and feelings as they come each week. i intend to upgrade to actual journaling soon. once i’m ready and once i know my privacy can’t be compromised. this feels like a nice first step. comfortable. it’s gotten a lot easier for me to starve myself as of late. i’m starting to feel at peace with it now. it feels right. feeling myself slowly but surely shrink away and watching my body take it’s natural contoured state. i have the most amazing bone structure. i am so thankful. i can’t wait to see it in it’s full glory. this is something i’m truly passionate about. not something i have to exaggerate or pretend or act like. i’m currently dreading going to work tomorrow. you’re far too pretty to work you know. it’s not all bad. but i can feel my mind slipping away from this place. like a lonely songbird escaping a cage, but still not free until she finds a window. i’ve been crying a lot. and a lot for me is like, next level. i can’t help it. i’ve left my heart back home with my family. i can’t remember what i came here for. personal development? love? experience? you could say i found all of them, or you could say i’m still looking. maybe i’m lost. how do i find myself? where is it that you are? i guess i’m not doing so great at finding you that clarity yet huh. i want to go home babe. i really do. i miss my family so fucking much and my cat and my beautiful home and just everything. i don’t miss who i was then. i was taking everything for granted. i was unappreciative and impatient. maybe that’s what i’ve found here. because god knows how patient i’ve had to be, even in moments when i’m ready to slam my head in a door or start screaming. this guy, these people drive me insane. but it’s been my job to stay presentable and keep a smile on my face and act as though nothing effects me. stay professional and light and upbeat and fun. even when i’m thinking about self harming and sobbing and flying a million miles away. self growth or just improved acting skills? time will tell i guess. or hey, why not both. we almost broke up tonight. and then just ended up getting bubble tea and having an awkward sex-talk for like an hour and a half. first world problems or what? jesus. in all honestly idk how much i have left in me for this. i’m going to make an effort to try this week but longterm i just can’t. if i’m being honest one of the main reasons i’d want to stay is to go to the weeknd concert. lol. but i feel like that’s not going to happen. he probably was just talking when he said we’ll get the tickets and it’s months away idk how i feel about committing to december plans in august. actually i do know, i wouldn’t feel great about it. it would also mean i couldn’t leave the country before then unless i wanted to be down like 4 grand. sigh. idk. i really do want to go. it’s not unlikely that i’d have more fun just going by myself too. we’ll see what happens i guess. one thing i want to stop doing is letting other people / situations control me and what i do. this is MY life. MY world. if i want to do something i should go ahead and do it without a single thought or doubt holding me back for a second. i shouldn’t wait around for someone to tell me they don’t want me here before i leave, or tell me they want me to come before i go. i can do whatever tf i want. take charge girl. seize this time. i am young and beautiful and have the whole world in the palm of my hand. no one can tell me shit and i’m done taking it. i’ve spent so much time worrying and wondering and contemplating.

now is the time to start living. do it for the plot. i love you too much to let you waste any more time or have any regrets. it’s nearly 5am now and i’d better get some shut-eye before i start on the many things i really don’t want to do tomorrow. oh yeah and PS i was 50.5 today. my waist at 21.5! i was sick this week and pretty much did a 3-4 day unintentional fast. it was that simple! of course it was, starving was the answer all along. im really proud. and i know you’ll be even prouder. i’m so, so excited for you my perfect angel. dreaming of you and doing everything for you, always.

until next thursday

xoxo

[erodasfishtacos]

HSLOT WASHINGTON D.C.

Like, comment, share, and come talk if you enjoyed the fic.

*inspired by this *

I write for free - so if you would like to support my work, you can donate here. (plus my bday is coming up in a week 😌)

-

Despite Harry being less than active on social media, it doesn’t mean that he didn’t creep through Instagram and Twitter after the shows.

He used a fake account to scroll, constantly liking pictures and videos of his wife dancing or funny fan signs to his phone.

Tonight, after the Philly show, YN was already fast asleep in their tour bus bed - she had curled into Harry with her leg between his and her head on his bicep.

Harry was trending on Twitter for his show, however, he scrolled a bit further and noticed that a hashtag called #JusticeforYN was trending.

When he clicked on the link, it took him down a rabbit hole of screenshots and videos from the concert.

It doesn’t take long to see what had happened, it was a girl recording herself on Snapchat from the pit during the concert.

The ‘fan’ held up her phone enough that you could see her but also YN, Jeff, Harry Lambert, and Tommy in the background behind the pit.

Adore You started blasting through his AirPod and the girl recorded his wife dancing with their friends - he gets distracted for a moment, watching her have fun and sing along.

He loved her so fucking much.

But then, it’s the next clip, and the captioned text on the video said ‘Harry’s Whore.’

The small smile on his face disappears instantly when he sees where this is going.

In the next few segments, the girl is screaming things at YN who can’t even hear them because of the music but it’s still completely disrespectful.

“Hi, Harry’s Whore!”

“Get the fuck outta here, nobody wants you here!”

“Fuck you!”

It makes Harry rage, even from the comfort of his bunk with his perfect love, and then he digs deeper to find his real fans defending YN.

YN was pretty loved by the fans. She was always kind, posted pictures of Harry (because he rarely did), and made really kickass merch.

He finds the Twitter account of the girl who harassed his wife, her name was Gina, and he read through her tweets.

She was going to three more of the concerts - following them from Philly to Detroit.

One of her tweets said…

‘If you guys are mad about what I said during the last concert, just wait what I have to say to her next time.’

And he also finds out that she had won a meet and greet for the DC show through the record label and Harry already knew what he was gonna do.

-

YN wakes up before Harry, sitting in the small living area of the bus - watching a cooking show on the television and still slightly dozing in and out of sleep.

“Hi bun,” She mumbles, opening her arms and legs to let Harry flop between them. Chest to chest and he was a bit to heavy for this but he liked laying like this.

“Mornin’, my love,” Harry rasps, peppering kisses all over her jaw and the smooth column of her neck until she giggles.

“Shouldn’t you be saying good morning to your whore on tour?” YN replies, her voice is light and unbothered - obviously found out the online drama.

Harry tenses up, looks up at her seriously, and tells her, “M’gonna take care of it.”

“Don’t, it’s fine, bubs,” YN assures him, she’s smiling softly and Harry just…he is so obsessed with the woman below him that he has to kiss her for a long moment.

“No, it’s not. I’m not going t’let someone treat m’wife like that. She won tha’ meet and greet. I’m gonna have a talk w’her when she comes backstage,” Harry tells her, lips brushing on every word and he can help but grind his hips forward against her.

“Always so horny in the morning,” Yn teases but still lets her thighs fall open a little bit more so that the only barrier is their underwear.

“Can y’blame me? Look wha’ I wake up to,” He rumbles, voice getting illogically deeper and raspier when he speaks.

It’s not long before he tugs his briefs down just enough and her panties to the side to get inside her with his lips glued to hers.

He’s whispering things that would make him blush with embarrassment if anyone heard him.

“Can’t believe y’mine after all this time.”

“Y’my perfect match, on m’knees for you whenever you ask.”

“Arena full of people and all I see is you, baby.”

“Feel like heaven.”

“Only y’make me feel like this.”

“Come on, stubborn girl. Show me y’love me.”

-

Harry looks insanely stunning in his purple outfit but honestly - YN always steals the show (without even trying). ***

They’re in a common area, waiting for the meet and greet with the fans - it’s comical how Gina’s face drops when she arrives to see Harry facing away from everyone with YN giggle as he crowds her up against a wall.

They can hear Harry murmur, “Y’alway showin’ me up. Only gonna be able to look at y’during the show, bug.”

“Harry,” Jeff calls to his client, making him turn around and his eyes instantly search the small groups of fans until his eyes land on a girl dressed in a bright pink fishnet dress and boa.

“You,” Harry points at her, his face isn’t giving away any emotion, “Can I have a chat w’you?”

“S-sure,” She stutters, eyes wide and excited - oblivious that Harry actually knows what she had been posted on social media.

The singer takes her off to the side, YN’s eyes keep darting to them as she chats with the friendly fans who are complimenting her dress and her merch designs.

Frank is standing near Harry, prepared to escort the girl out after the conversation.

“Can we get a selfie?” Gina asks, pulling out her cellphone.

“No,” Harry replies seriously, “You also are going to get escorted out of this arena and banned from any of my future concerts.”

“Wh-what?” The girl stumbles, eyes watering as she looks at him in confusion and dismay.

“I need to make this a safe space for everyone who comes to my concerts. That especially includes m’wife. And I don’t feel comfortable havin’ someone scream at m’wife and posting nasty things on social media attending my concert.”

Realization flashes across Gina’s face, “I’m so so sorry. I can apologize. I really didn’t mean-“

“No. I don’t think my whore of a wife would want to hear it,” Harry chuckles with a nasty edge, “Y’can fuck off now. Go find a new artist to harass ‘cause if I see y’face at one of m’concerts - y’getting kicked out immediately.”

Frank appears beside them, gently guiding the hysterical girl out of the room while the fans look back in confusion.

They forget all about it once Harry saunters up to them and gives them a crooked smile, “Hi, m’Harry. How are y’guys?”

The fans don’t miss his hand moving quickly to squeeze his wife’s hip in reassurance before starting to sign things and take pictures.

-

Later that night, the disgruntled ‘fan’ sends out a nasty few tweets where real fans go after her and defend YN.

Also, the true fans are cooing over the fact that Harry is such a good husband.

haleyhs22: omg, could you imagine being called out by the nicest guy on this earth

tpwkjess_young: okay but I wish I had the luck that @ynstyles has to get a manz like that 😩

UsWeekly: Harry Styles bans ignorant fan from tour after nasty videos were leaked attacking his wife

strawberriesinsummer: harry is such a VIBE. Like he deadass kicked that girl out and then spent the whole night trying to seduce his wife with his shimmies and winks - he’s the hoe 🍑

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