#can’t wait for the funny bug game……..

[hana-bobo-finch]

i will get bug fables but I need to wait for my brother to help because we are out of space on the switch and I am too technologically illiterate to try to change the SD card and figure out how all that works. If I try it myself I will probably end up setting something on fire somehow

[sabertoothwalrus]

hey if you want to try a FREE-to-play cozy game (with no pay-to-win or gacha scams) that’s like a mix between Stardew Valley, Animal Crossing, and a lil bit of BotW/TotK for PC and switch, you should play Palia. It’s an mmo so you can play with your friends and cook, fish, collect bugs, etc together!

should note:

they just released a lunar new year festival update, like, yesterday. I haven’t even gotten the chance to play it yet!

the game IS in open beta, so it can be buggy sometimes. But the glitches are usually pretty funny and again, it is a free game, so I can’t really complain

you can be poly

you can romance a robot

the community is very friendly, if there’s a rare node people usually call it out in the chat and wait for everyone to arrive before taking it.

if you make an account using my referral code you get a fruit basket welcome gift 🤭

[girlokwhatever]

Emily engstler x short fem please please

emily engstler x short!gf hcs

༯✧ʚɞ°✩₊｡⋆˚⁺ೄྀˊˎ- emily with a short gf,,

— she definitely thinks your height is funny

- teases you about it 24/7

— she’ll say stupid shit like “your height doesn’t define you babe” with the most sarcastic tone ever

- she thinks she’s funny

— you’re not just short though, you’re overall a smaller person

- will compare hand sizes and pretend like her hand is gonna eat yours

- also makes fun of how small your shoes are

— if you come over and knock on the door, when she opens it she’ll pretend like she can’t see anyone

- “hello? is anyone there? oh- there you are babe! i couldn’t see you.”

— will hide stuff from you by putting it on the top shelf

— if she hears you in the kitchen she will sit and wait for you to call out for her help reaching something

— “i’m sitting down and i’m as tall as you”

— you both make stupid jokes about the other’s height though

- “how’s the weather up there?”

- “it’s gonna rain in a second.”

- “what does that even mean?”

- “that i’m about to spit on you.”

— likes when you wear her clothes because they literally swallow you whole like….

- her tshirt is your new fav dress

— complains about the back problems she’s gonna get from bending so far down to kiss you

— she’s so protective of you though seriously

- her hands are staying glued on you to make sure she won’t lose you in a crowd

- it’s her biggest fear

— “yeah? what’re you gonna do? punch my knee?”

- “ok whatever.”

— laughs if she sees someone shorter than you

- you don’t know why she thinks it’s so funny

— even though you’re short you still manage to take up 75% of the bed without fail

— literally dies laughing at every. single. short. joke.

— will rest her arms or head on top of your head

— you make her help you cut your jeans or go get them tailored

— it’s difficult to shower together because you have to keep adjusting the shower head to fit your heights

— you made her do the “guess whose outfit is whose” trend….

- you had to cut her out of your shirt

— she’ll let you sit on her shoulders just for fun

- you love it so much

— always giving you kisses on the top of your head though 🤭🤭

— couples yoga is lowkey highkey fun af

— “babe hold on to me, it’s windy outside and i don’t want you flying away.”

— asks if you got your shoes in the kids section..

— she loves it though because you’re such a good cuddle bug

— lowkey you’re at boob height (you don’t mind)

— she’s always asking you to bend down if she dropped something under the bed or some other piece of furniture

- stares at your butt while you do it

— will hold her hand up and ask if you can reach it

- you always need a running start

— sometimes instead of holding her hand you hold one of her fingers

- it’s just easier

— it’s all fun and games until someone she doesn’t know makes a joke about the height

- then it gets all serious

— “baby, is this the mug you said you lost a few months ago?”

- “oh my gosh yes! where’d you find it?!”

- “on the middle shelf..”

๋࣭ ⭑˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚☾༯✧˖°

yall i love the short!gf x tall!gf trope so you know i had to do this

I HOPE YOU ENJOY!!!

[gallavichsreddie1128]

Want (Patrick Zweig)

Description: Art wants Patrick’s wife and he knows it.

Warning: A lil smutty

Word Count: 1,042k

It wasn’t a secret that Art thought Y/N was attractive, a lot of people did. She was one of the hottest girls at that party that night with Tashi Duncan. She didn’t play Tennis, she was just Tashi’s best friend. Art didn’t bat an eye at Y/N when Tashi was next to her. He wanted Tashi and so did Patrick. That was until Patrick realized what kind of person Tashi was and how Y/N was. They were complete opposites and it was crazy how they were even friends.

Y/N was nice and sweet and didn’t care about winning or competition. Tashi was the opposite. So when Art saw Patrick with Y/N it hit him hard. What did Patrick do to deserve her? Art wanted her and the life Patrick had. Tashi didn’t love him, she loved Tennis and it stressed him out. He was playing for her and so she was happy not for him. Tashi and Y/N kept in contact unlike Art and Patrick. So Art knew that they were married. It didn’t bug him until he saw her. She was beautiful and she had such a sweet smile. I

t hurt even more to see a baby in her arms that resembled Patrick. Art glared as the two kissed before Patrick came on to the floor. He had a smirk on his face as he saw Art’s face. It was so obvious that Art wanted what he had. Patrick won the game and Y/N cheered for him. Tashi looked pissed at Art and that made his heart sink. Y/N  laughed as Patrick kissed her neck. The crowd cheered for him. 

“How about I give her to my mother and we can have the hotel room to ourselves for the night.” She whispered in his ear, seductively. Art watched the scene waiting for Tashi. “I’d like that.” He said, pulling her closer. “And maybe I can put another one in you.” That made her wet. She couldn’t wait to get back to the hotel room. Art could tell that they were saying dirty things to each other. He wished that he and Tashi had something like that. Patrick noticed his ex best friend staring at his wife. It made him smirk, knowing that he had something that Art wanted. Tashi entered the lobby where the couple and Art were. She saw how Art looked at the couple and knew that it was jealousy.

Not that she cared, she only cared about his Tennis career. It was even crazier that their rooms were next door to each other so Art heard every little moan, whine and gasp that Y/N let out as her and Patrick fucked. He’d give anything to be the reason that Y/N was moaning. Y/N didn’t bat an eye at Art especially like that. She loved Patrick and she always had so why would she think of Art like that? But Art was realizing his mistake. But what could he do about it? “You can’t have her.” Tashi tells him, snapping him out of his thoughts. He looks at her with confusion. She rolls her eyes, “Y/N. You can’t have her because she loves Patrick.” Art opened his mouth to shut down her testament but she held her hand up. “I’m not a fucking idiot, Art. I see how you look at her.” She didn’t care that he looked at her like that at all. She completely understood, Y/N was an angel.

But she didn’t want that to distract him and make him lose. Art denied her allegations but she knew he was lying. “Art, I don’t care that you stare. Just don’t lose.” And even though those words were harsh and any sane person would have left her alone in the hotel room, he stayed and begged her to hold him while he slept. 

Y/N laid on Patrick’s chest asleep. But Patrick was wide awake, thinking about Art and how he wanted his wife. Patrick knew that Y/N didn’t care about Art so he honestly found it funny. Hell he even made her scream so Art could hear next door. Art fucked up and he wanted him to know that. Y/N’s face nuzzled into his neck making him laugh as he held her tight. 

Tomorrow they'll be playing in the finals. Patrick had no worries, he was confident and even if he lost, he had a beautiful family that would still love and support him. Art had nothing. If Art lost this game, he’d lose Tashi and that was it for him. Patrick walked into the steam room that Art was in. This would be the first time they exchanged words. It was awkward but Patrick loved that. “Promise me you won’t dominate me?” Art wanted to roll his eyes, he didn’t understand why Patrick was here.

He didn’t like the man at all, but he loved what he had. Jealous of it. “Why are you here, Patrick?” He asked him. “To win.” That answer was obvious and to a dumb question. But Art was searching for more. “When did you start to take a liking to my wife?” Patrick asked him. Art stared at him, no words. Patrick chuckled, “Oh come on. You don’t think I see the way you look at her?” He got closer to Art. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He lied. “I don’t blame you. She’s an angel. And my god she smells so good and her pussy tastes fantastic.” He whispered in Art’s ear. “The way she looks when she cums and how her eyes roll back. I get hard just thinking about it. See, my wife loves me and not just for my career. She would love me without it. But Tashi? No, if you lose this you lose it all. So I get why you stare at her. But next time you do it, think of me deep inside her wet pussy pumping her full of my cum over and over again.” Art was hard at his words. Patrick gave him a smirk, “Stare all you want Donaldson but just know, that she’s mine and that’ll never change whether I win or lose.” He says as he walks out of the room, leaving Art there with only his thoughts.

[ice-cream-writes-stuff]

I’m loving your self aware LADs au!! I’ve been giddily waiting for the community to create it!!! Thank you for being the first person I’ve seen to write it!! Self aware aus are so fun and I can’t get enough of them!!

This isn’t a request but I want to share a funny lil idea!

Imagine reader trying to play wingman for mc? Like with you just posted about an outing with mc, reader and sylus, reader gets them talking arguing and when they are distracted Reader just, slips away to give him bonding time I just know reader can see through Sylus’ disguises

One of the love interestsare at the cafe? Reader hyping up the qualities each love interest is attracted to when it comes to the MC

If Mc is at the cafe Reader is fishing to see which love interest Mc is more into so that Reader can set up meet cutes for them

All the while reader is also just trying avoid being found out that they are aware that they are in a game, playing off as just being naturally observant of their customers or saying that the main cast are just rememberable!! Reader is so not trying to play Cupid to keep their mind off of the dread of being stuck in a video game nope no siree!!

[Almost Summed it up! Yeah, I still have a few scenarios I want to add as {Side Stories} for different characters.

-

Bug-eyed at the small snow man seated on your counter, you could feel your heart speeding up at the warm gesture. Knowing he only used his ability for the MC only.

"WAH! He's so... CUTE!"

Your fawning ceased when realizing the temperature. "HOLD ON A SEC-!" You hold up a hand as Zayne eyes you strangely, watching you dash around, muttering about something he couldn't quite hear.

Once back to where you were, you hold a ice chest out. Plopping it on the counter with little grace, away from the snowman. Carefully cupping around the fragile ice. You place it gently into the ice chest, closing the lid right after.

"I will treasure him!" You cry out, heart eyed as you hug the ice chest. Zayne felt his lips twitch at the actions you displayed, sighing as he took a sip of his own beverage.

-

[fashionteahouse]

Hey could u do a pt2 of “don’t let me be misunderstood” of the pack warming up to her and being nice and welcoming and then they start doing double dates with all the imprints and the guys I just can’t see them being rude 😩 and Sam just taking over being a big brother ❤️

omg yes! 💜 btw i’m super glad you guys liked this story! hope you enjoy :)

don’t let me be misunderstood part 2 - embry x reader

Embry brought you around more. You were appreciative. You got to know the goofy side of the boys that you once disliked. Surprised at their amazing sense of humor, you often found your ribs and stomach hurting from laughing too much. They were so easy to get along with. You didn’t know they were dealing with their own rumors. The term of “hurt people, hurt people” was definitely stuck in the back of your mind.

One day, thinking you were going to spend the day at the beach with only Embry, you saw the pack there. Sensing your hesitance, he takes your hand and gently squeeze it.

“They asked me to bring you.” he says and that’s how you all got into a game of beach volleyball.

They even included you in on discussions, not letting you sit there as if you didn’t exist. The imprints started asking you about yourself and would invite you to come help them out in the kitchen.

Finally a day with no patrol holding them down, Sam suggests that everybody goes out as a treat to themselves.

Embry noticed the upright in your mood, wrapping his arm around you with a grin as he held you close.

The imprints were talking about what they were going to wear and Kim pipes in, “Let’s get ready at my house.”

Just to be safe, you had your mind set on getting ready at your place. As the girls were leaving out, they waited on you, looking at you expectantly.

“Y/N, are you coming?” Emily asks.

“Oh! Yeah, here I come.” you said and said goodbye to Embry.

Kim let you pick out a nice skirt of hers to wear out.

“Embry’s going to crazy.” she says as she inspects how the nicely fitted skirt hung onto you.

“Thanks.” you say sheepishly as the other girls check you out and offer their own compliments.

Arriving at the dinner date, the boys were there waiting for their imprints. Already sat at the table, you sit next to Embry and he gifts you a kiss on the neck.

“You look really good.” he whispers to you. You look at him with a growing blush that’s spreading across your facial features, replying with, “Thank you. You look great too.”

“Awww love birds.” you hear Leah say and you tilt your head down and laugh as the rest of the table laugh as well.

It was a great time. You had a great time. They treated you no different than anybody else.

You looked at Sam Uley very differently. He became more protective of you. Embry was protective as it already was, but, Sam would holler at the boys if they tried to play rough, say a banter that was meant to be just a joke, he didn’t care. He watched over you like a hawk.

One day as you were leaving school, a girl who still made time to pick with you, bumps you and makes you trip. Listening to the people laugh was bringing back memories that you worked so hard to move past from.

“You think that’s funny? I know your parents so now it will be my turn to laugh.” you hear a familiar voice say as the laughing stops and the girl who tripped you looks at him bug eyed.

Sam helps you up and helps you dust yourself off. You’re about to leave until Sam holds onto your arm still. You look up at him confused.

“Tell her you’re sorry.” he ordered the girl in front of both of you.

She drops her folded arms and bite her lip, due to embarrassment.

“Sorry.” she says to you.

With Sam promising you an after school snack from Emily, he drives you home.

“You didn’t have to do that Sam.” you say to him.

“I did. You’re family.” he says to you.

You looked at the authoritative figure. Extremely grateful for his actions, when you both get out of the car to go inside, you hug him tight. He just smiles and rub your back.

[elvensorceress]

sunday sentences

tagged by @inell @firefighterevandiaz @tizniz tagging @eddiebabygirldiaz @spotsandsocks @chaosandwolves @hippolotamus @exhuastedpigeon @diazsdimples @confetti-cupcake @kitteneddiediaz @bekkachaos @the-likesofus @lover-of-mine @hoodie-buck @fiona-fififi @thekristen999 @daffi-990 @dangerpronebuddie @monsterrae1 @wh0re-behavi0r more Unless. Buck and Chris being menaces to each other. As you do.

Buck doesn’t want to know. He’s trying very hard not to know. Eddie wants to take him on a special, official date and he wanted it to be a surprise, so Buck is not snooping. Even though the suspense is killing him. He’s not going to ask and he is not bugging Eddie about the weird research that Eddie said he needed to do. And Buck is most definitely not going to give in now at the last minute when he’s driving Chris to his bimonthly sleepover with his group of friends. 

And Chris tells him, “I know what Dad’s planning. I gave him the idea.”

Buck grips the steering wheel and doesn’t fidget and will not ask for any details. Except surprises are stupid when he’s not the one orchestrating them and what are they going to do? What is Eddie planning? Why does he have to be so secret about it? Why can’t Buck know now? It’s not as if he won’t know later tonight. 

And now their son wants to tempt him into an interrogation and Buck is not going to give in. He’s not. Because word would get back to Eddie and he’s sure Eddie would be disappointed and Buck is not going to disappoint him. 

“Yeah?” Buck says as if he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care. No, he does care what it is but he is not going to ask for details. Not. He can wait. It’s only a few more hours. He’s waiting. He can do it. “Do you think I’ll like it?”

“It was my idea! Do you think I’d give him a bad idea,” Chris gives him a side-eyed look, and Buck has to laugh.

“No. Of course not.” Buck just wanted to know without actually knowing. 

Although it doesn’t even matter what the date is. Being with Eddie, his best friend, the love of his life, spending time just the two of them, that’s all that matters. They could be sorting through trash or hiking through the sewers or wading the nasty smelly sections of the LA River, and it would still be something they get to do together. Not that any of that sounds like Date Night fun, but still. They could complain and laugh about it together. He loves when Eddie gets snarky and salty and makes hilarious comments. 

Eddie’s so funny. And he’s so fun to be around. And Buck loves experiencing everything with him. 

“Do you know what it is?” Chris asks. “What Dad is planning for you?”

“Nope,” Buck holds up a hand like a stop. “Don’t want to know. It’s a surprise.”

“You’re not curious? Even a little?”

Buck bites his lip and it’s a trap. It’s such a trap. The child is amused because he knows Buck wants to know. He knows. But Buck is not going to know. He shakes his head and forces on a mild, unbothered face and doesn’t look at Chris. He is looking at the crosswalk coming up and the people standing at the corner on the sidewalk waiting and Buck stops at the intersection where the people are probably walking to the park that is on the other side of the street so that they can do park things there. He will not look at Chris. He’s driving. He’s watching out for pedestrians. He doesn’t want to know. “No. Not curious. If you picked it out, it has to be something good.” 

“Maybe,” Chris says. “I could have picked something bad though. Something you hate. Like when we got Dad the Hildy coffee maker.” 

Buck grins. That was a good one. Still one of his most favorite memories, teaming up with Chris that way. He only wishes he could have seen Eddie’s face in the moment. Only thing that would have made it better. “Yeah. You could have,” Buck agrees and two can play this game. “But no matter what it is, your dad is a hopeless romantic and he’s going to be incredibly sappy and mushy and he’ll kiss me and hold my hand the whole night and nothing could ruin that.”

Chris makes a gagging noise and sticks out his tongue like he might throw up. “You’re worse than the kids at my school. Both of you. Aren’t you sick of it yet?”

Buck laughs. Chris only mentions this every other day. As if Buck would ever be sick of kissing Eddie and getting to be in love with him. “Never gonna happen. Sorry, buddy.”

Chris huffs and rolls his eyes and at least it effectively ends the conversation about the date Eddie is planning for them. 

[vanilla-rainbows]

Wreck-it Ralph AU - GUARDIAN

Ok, let me preface this by saying three (3) things:

English is not my first language. I’m currently incapable of writing fanfiction in a language that is not my own, so please forgive me. Feel free to correct me if you see any mistakes!

I welcome all kinds of feedback. Just don’t be rude, please TTwTT

This might get long and messy. I haven’t really planned out anything with this AU and all of this is 100% vibes, but I’m open to suggestions and might expand/change/delete things as I go.

The (quite long) premise of this AU is basically this: Turbo survived the events of the first movie (original I know) because he rewrote so much of himself into Sugar Rush that the game now thinks he’s actually part of it. So he respawns, but gets kicked out of the game and is forced to go back to his previous life as a gameless character in Game Central Station. Only difference, everyone this time KNOWS he’s alive and what he did (because Ralph and/or Vanellope explained the whole situation to the rest of the arcade). So everyone basically treats him like shit (more or less like Vanellope). He’s both shunned and mocked by the other characters, and is forcefully kept away from every game in the arcade, to prevent him from “going Turbo” again.

But the thing is, he’s actually powerless now, and can’t actually do anything dangerous anymore. He lost the cy-bug part of his code (sorry kcb fans but the tall menacing cockroach doesn’t exactly give out the pathetic wet cat vibes that this au demands) because of the reset, and even glitches between his Turbo and King Candy model at times. He’s hit rock bottom and he knows it. And obviously he blames it all on Vanellope and Ralph, and wants to take revenge on them. So, knowing how powerful his cy-bug form was, he decides to wait for a chance to sneak into Hero’s Duty and get himself eaten again by one of the creatures. THEN he will be free to wreak havoc on the arcade and happily destroy every single game in it (starting with Sugar Rush of course). And ABSOLUTELY no one will be able to stop him.

So naturally he gets stopped again. This is where I’d introduce the OC I’m planning for this AU. Her name is Luna and she is the titular protagonist of Luna’s Adventure (might change later), a fantasy adventure that resembles the first Zelda game in terms of graphics and mechanics (also might change later). Luna is essentially an optimistic, but not an hopeless one. Being one of the oldest characters in the arcade (she’s from the 80’ as well), she knew who Turbo was back in the day and is fully aware of the situation, but doesn’t really like the “let’s all laugh at him” mentality. So she mostly ignores/pities him, and makes sure he doesn’t try anything funny with her game. That is, until she spots him as he’s sneaking into Hero’s Duty during opening hours. She immediately takes action and follows him into the game. At first she tries to talk him out of it, but her pleads fall of deaf ears, as Turbo is too fixated on his revenge plan to even listen to her. He feels like he has no other options. He lost everything, again. In the eyes of the other characters, he’s but a pest. Better be feared than respected at this point. This desperate attempt (which seems more like self-destructing behaviour) is his last chance.

The heated back and forth between the two grabs the attention of a solitary cy-bug, which immediately attacks them. Luna quickly avoids the creature and safely gets to a hidden spot, but when she notices that Turbo has no intention of running away, on the contrary, he’s purposefully exposing himself like the snack he is, she jumps on him and saves him from the incoming cy-bug attack. So for a few minutes we have the comical situation of Luna continuously saving Turbo and herself from the cy-bug, and Turbo trying so hard to get eaten but getting saved everytime. Eventually the cy-bug is shot to death by Calhoun herself, who IS SO READY to blast Turbo out of existence with all of her arsenal, but desists when Luna explains the whole situation to her. Still, the sergeant has no intention of keeping the glitchy gremling in her game a second longer, and escorts both of them out. Turbo lashes out at Luna for ruining his ultimate plan, but before she can say anything back, the arcade opens. Luna leaves in a hurry, telling Turbo to behave while she’s away because she’s not done with him. So he’s left in the middle of GCS wandering what the hack she meant by that.

That night, all main characters from each game reunite to discuss what to do with Turbo. Felix, Ralph, Vanellope, Calhoun and Luna are all present. Turns out they have no idea how to handle the situation. They can’t let him run freely around the arcade. What would happen if he tried to infiltrate another game? Unsurprisingly, no one mentions Surge Protector. Someone suggests they could simply kill him. He deserves it, after all. Ralph is neutral, Vanellope is slightly against the idea, but Felix jumps up and firmly says that they are not going to kill anyone. If they did, they wouldn’t be better than him. Then Calhoun makes a proposal. Just like keeping the cy-bugs inside Hero’s Duty is also part of her, well, duty, someone should take on the role of a warden to Turbo, keeping him inside their game and out of everyone else’s. Obviously she can’t do it, neither Vanellope, so another character will have to.

The problem is that no one wants to have anything to do with Turbo. They may mock him during the day, but they really are all just terrified by him. The fear of getting unplugged is so strong that no one is willing to take the risk. No one, but Luna. While everyone argues, she slowly stands up and offers herself to be Turbo’s guardian. The room goes silent for a few seconds, but eventually everyone applauds her courage.

Now comes the hard part. Luna has to find a delicate way to break the news to her colleagues. They obviously have A LOT to say about it, but she is able to convince them. Sort of. Things might not be so simple after all. Even though she agreed to keep an eye on Turbo, she’s not sure how exactly this decision will affect her and her game. Was it really the right thing to do? What if he became really dangerous? She’s actually starting to reconsider, when an idea forms in her coded mind. What if… she were to teach him goodness? What if she offered him a chance, instead of treating him like a criminal? All I have to say is that Turbo will definitely take advantage of the situation and play along, all so that he can finally have his sweet revenge.

That’s all for now. I have a few ideas on how the story could continue, and a few interactions that I absolutely want to incorporate as well. Also I already have a finale in mind, and I hope to eventually get to that (the final scene is the one most clear in my mind right now). So, if you actually managed to read all that, thank you! Now I can go back to being a normal human being again (delusional).

[oh-theatre]

I wamna hear about timbart

Why thank u I have so much about them I love them bart is my blorbo

Tim always notices when Bart is getting quiet or overstimulated in conversation or other such situations. He offers comfort or grounding, whether it’s a distraction, fidget or removing him from the conversation

Tim is Barts lightning rod, when part gets really in his head and is speeding around or talking too fast or blurring and he’s not really there Tim can ground him (he offers physical touch, if Bart needs/wants it)

Counter: sometimes bart needs to run or pace around and just exhaust himself but tim never leaves, he will sit and watch and wait he’s there for bart

Tim calls Bart goose and lightning bug and Bart calls him Timmy

Bart has a lot of nicknames for Tim actually, most of them funny (Timtam, Timbit, Timothy Chalamet)

Bart is just about the only person who can get tim away from his work, and he’s got a sense for it.

Every time they get spotted in public they make up a different role for Bart in Tim’s life.

personal assistant, chauffeur (does not have a car, should not drive), his chef, bag carrier, etc.

Bart mindlessly fidgets with Tim’s hands and fingers, Tim let’s him

Tim frequently falls asleep on Bart and he does not move, he also makes a point to make sure no one else disturbs Tim

Tim stocks his utility belt with new snacks for Bart every week

Tim will flirt incessantly with Bart on missions and he just short circuits

They!! Wear !! Each others!! clothes!! “Isn’t that Tim’s hoodie?” “Not anymore”

Bart will go all around the world to bring Tim food and when asked about it he lies and says it was just a restaurant in central, Tim knows he’s lying

Bart thinks alot more then he says things out loud, Tim notices this and coaxes his thoughts out

Tim loves Barts hair, he will consistently put his hands in Barts hair sometimes without knowing and Bart just lets him, sometimes he’ll find tiny braids that must have come from tim

Tim gets really quiet after a mission gone badly, he’ll isolate himself or pour himself into work. Bart will sit in silence with him, he can sit still for this, for tim. He waits as long as he needs until Tim reaches out he always doea

They are so smart and often on the same wavelength and on missions rarely do they need to talk they just know what the other is thinking.

Bart is one of the few people who can boss tim around or challenge him without fallout

They listen to eachother ramble and rant fully invested and offering questions. They are autistic and adhd <3

I think it takes a really long time before they kiss. It’s a lot of “we don’t like each other we’re just really close besties, pals even” but then they almost lose each other on a mission or one gets badly hurt and oh no they are so much more then best friends, this is their person, the mere thought of losing the other person makes them completely break

Bart is the type of person to come up with a wild solution to something and Tim lets him try it

They like to be in each other’s presence even if they aren’t talking, sometimes they can’t talk but they want to be in eachothers space. Tim will be reading or studying while Bart lays on him playing a video game

Bart has a warped sense of life and death, and he doesn’t see death as a bad thing but more of an escape (he has trauma from his past (time in the future)) but the thought of losing Tim will send him into a spiral

whenever Tim gets sick or injured (like needs bed rest) bart will stay with him at the manor or in his room at the tower the entire time

bart speaks so many languages and loves to call tim petnames in other languages, tim melts everytime.

they love to cook for eachother and together, alfred has banned them both from the kitchen however

bart loves forehead kisses tim wil cradle his face and its so gentle, tim can feel when bart speeds by him and gives him a kiss it tickles but hes gotten used to the feeling and loves it

Tim hates when Bart gets stuck in the speedforce but hes always the one to bring him back (lightning rod!!!!!!!)

Bart, on multiple occasions, has stood up to Bruce after him and tim have a confrontation.

With that, hes always there to combat everything Bruce has said and uplift tim and reassure him in very plain blunt words that he is enough, and he is a person worth the world

i have so much please keep talking to me about bart allen, timbart, bart allen **bart allen**

[zolanort]

What is 'Hyrule's Excellent Adventures?' 👀

It’s a 16,000 word unfinished fic with 6 completed chapters that I’ll probably never actually post. It was basically just playing with a how-the-chain-met scenario from Hyrule’s PoV and has a galaxy-brained climax that I was extremely excited about, but I kinda lost steam after some of their canon first encounters were posted. Who knows though, maybe one day I will be inspired to wrangle it back into canon-adjacency. Or maybe I’ll let it go fully divergent? We shall see.

Here’s a silly snip from an uncompleted chapter if you want it.

———

“Hey Sky, want to prank Legend with me?” Hyrule said, just loud enough for the Veteran to overhear.

Legend narrowed his eyes at the pair.

Sky pretended to consider it as though Legend hadn’t heard. “I’m game,” he replied at last. “Have anything specific in mind?”

“What?! Sky—!”

“We’re gonna play the long game,” Hyrule smirked, holding up the blank disguise ring from the shop. “We set this ring so that anyone who wears it looks like me. Then,” he gestured to Sky, “you take this back with you to your era, and it gets passed down for the Vet to find one day.”

Legend halted mid-step. “Wait,” Legend turned, then pointed between Hyrule and Sky, eyes bugging out of his head.

Hyrule held up the blank ring, careful to keep it in Legends line of sight, and slid it onto his finger. It flashed briefly, and an angular red symbol formed on the gold surface.

“You—!” Legend made a strangled noise. He reached for his pouch, pulling out his ring box and poking through it until he produced a golden band adorned by a matching red symbol.

“Din blast it,” Legend swore, then laughed.

Sky spared a glance at Legend’s reaction, then back at Hyrule, a playful gleam in his eye. “I take it that this prank has already worked, then?”

“You can bet on it,” Hyrule replied, slapping the ring into Sky’s hand. “Legend has been convinced that I’m one of his predecessors for months.”

Sky laughed, then whipped back to face the veteran. “Wait, so that time when—?”

“Yeah, that was me, not the traveler.” Legend said, then paused, mouth curling at the edges. “Although, you really can’t blame anyone but yourself at this point, can you?”

They laughed.

Sky slid the newly enchanted ring onto his own finger, Hyrule’s features fading into place over his own.

“Hey,” he said slowly, “wouldn’t it be funny if three Hyrule’s walked back into camp?”

Legend smirked, sliding his own ring on in answer.

———

“Hey Wind.”

Hyrule nodded to the Sailor as he walked into camp. Wind waved from his spot on the ground next to Four, then looked back down. He and Four had been comparing shields. Hyrule continued towards Wild, who was oiling a cast iron pan.

“Hey Wind.”

A second Hyrule waved to the Sailor as he walked into camp. Wind looked up, waved again, then did a double take. The first Hyrule was doing his best (and failing) to keep from grinning as he watched Wind's eyebrows crawl progressively higher and higher up towards his hairline. Second Hyrule sat on a log with a sigh, stretching and cracking his neck.

“Hey Wind.”

A third Hyrule made his way into camp, walking over to crouch next to Four, who bristled and leapt up like a startled cat. The smith grabbed frantically for his sword, then stopped when his hand caught on the handle. He stared between the sword and Third Hyrule, face so full of conflicting emotions that they all canceled back out into an oddly neutral expression.

“What are you two up to?” Third Hyrule cocked his head, looking between the two identical shields on the ground.

“Oh, just comparing shields.” Wind’s eyebrows had made a miraculous reappearance. “We noticed some similarities. Uh, how about you?”

“Oh that’s neat! Legend and I found out we have the same ring today, so that was something.”

“Speaking of which, I’ve been meaning to tell you guys” Wild interrupted from across the camp, “I have all of your old clothes!” He pushed a button on his slate, suddenly donned in Hyrule’s clothes. Plus or minus a hat and a pair of trousers.

First Hyrule blushed, hiding his face in his hands.

“Wait,” second Hyrule called, smirking, “you didn’t used to wear pants?”

“It was a phase,” First Hyrule cried, wilting in place next to a wheezing Wild.

Third Hyrule laughed. “What kind of phase would make you not want to wear pants?”

First Hyrule sank onto the ground in silence, face still hidden.

“I— It was more comfortable,” he hedged, “pants are expensive! And constricting!”

—Second Hyrule nodded along smugly—

“and, well, the, ah, the stories said that the— they said the previous heroes— ah goddess, the hero of legend didn’t wear pants, ok?”

The camp erupted.

Second Hyrule leapt to his feet, mouth agape, as Third Hyrule leaned against Wind for support as they laughed into each other. Four smirked between Second Hyrule and First Hyrule, clearly having figured something out, before looking back down at the shields with a smile. Wild had his hands hooked under First Hyrule’s armpits and was trying to pull him to his feet (to no avail, as he was too busy sulking).

“What happened while we were gone?”

Time stood at the edge of camp, Wars looking around with a bemusement that was directly proportional to Twilight's confusion.

“Hyrule didn’t used to wear pants,” Wild informed helpfully, gesturing down at his own bare legs.

Time scanned the three-and-a-half Hyrules and the two shields with his singular eye, then returned his gaze to Wild.

“I didn’t either.”

The camp erupted for a second time.

———

So,” Legend smirked, sitting down next to Hyrule and splaying his bare legs out in front of him pointedly. “You wanted to be like the hero of legend, eh?”

“I will fight you, Legend.” Hyrule said, punching his arm in a way that wasn’t entirely unkindly and perhaps even borderline friendly if you looked at it in the correct lighting. “Wouldn’t want a repeat of the first time we met, would we?”

Legend laughed, rubbing at his arm. “Not particularly.”

“Can we agree that the order we came in doesn’t matter and that we are equally awesome in our own right?”

“Absolutely.”

“Swear not to use weird pet names like Time and Twi?”

“I would rather die.”

“I can make that happen if you ever try.”

Hyrule held out a hand and Legend shook on it.

Somewhere in the same forest, Time and Twilight sneezed in unison.

[insertdisc5]

Devlog #11: Localization and Organizing Notes

Hello everyone! Welcome to this month’s devlog!

If you just stumbled upon this, I am Adrienne, also known as insertdisc5! I’m the developer, writer, artist, main programmer, etc of the game. The game being In Stars and Time, a timeloop RPG, which is the next and final game in the START AGAIN series, following START AGAIN: a prologue (available here!).  You can find out more about In Stars and Time here!!! 

LET’S GET TO IT. This month's devlog is about localizations and how I organize my notes!

The month of January has, once again, been all about bug fixing. My producer once told me QA and bug fixing would take forever and I didn’t believe her, but it is true. You kill one bug and three take its place.

Bugs aside, the first pass of the localization of the game into Japanese has been completed (thanks Kakehashi Games!) ! Wait did we even mention officially that the game will be in English and Japanese at release. Well there you go! In Stars and Time will be released in both English and Japanese!!!

Now that the first pass is over, it’s time for the very time intensive work of adding all that translated text into the game, as well as translating any illustrations. And after that, the localization team will take over QA, and will play the game from beginning to end in Japanese, making sure everything works well in context!

I can’t wait for Japanese speakers to try out the game as well!!!

Oh! Also, speaking of words, I wrote a post on how I approach worldbuilding, more specifically expressions and swear words and about how Jesus Christ is not canonical to the ISAT universe. Mayhaps it could tickle your fancy?

Uuuuuh this devlog is so short. I feel bad. Well uh (thinks very hard) how about you come with me on a journey, and look at how I organize my notes? Yeah? YEAH!!! (This section will feature: blocked out text) (Also: I realized after writing all this that I did talk about my writing process a bit in my #2 devlog. Well uh you get writing process: 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

I use OneNote for all my ISAT notes! I use it because quite frankly this was the first software I tried and it works. I like how it has tabs within tabs within tabs, so I can easily (ISH?) find any notes I’m looking for!

If you look at the colored tabs, the first one is “demo”, which is everything related to START AGAIN: a prologue (aka: has not been looked at for a year). It contains all the text in the game, as well as general gameplay notes and musings like “hey wouldnt it be fun if I used rock/paper/scissors.” You might notice the text here isn’t in the correct order. That’s a feature not a bug, thats just how my brain works OK!!!!!

The second tab is “Game”, which is the big In Stars And Time tab. It’s divided into a lot of sections, including: 

General Dev Notes, which contains general reminders (“ADD MORE PUNS”).

Random Dialogue Corner, which, as the name implies, contains a lot of random dialogues between the characters. They’re also divided into different sections, depending on what kind of dialogue it is- is it a funny scene, or a more serious one? Is it between characters, or just Siffrin going on a big monologue? Etc. This dialogue may or may not be in the game, its main reason for existing is “hee hee I like when my little guys talk in my head”.

Gameplay and Stuff, which is all about the rpg part of the game. What are the skills? How does each enemy behave? What quests are available? How does the game over screen work? Etc

And finally, a big section filled with The Story, which is divided into acts. From the very start, I knew ISAT would have very delimited story beats, which made it easy to just go “ok, this scene goes into Act 3”, etc. For the text, I make sure to keep all the different drafts I had of a specific scene, partly because I sometimes lose a nugget of Fun Stuff by rewriting a scene, and partly because it’s fun to see how a scene has evolved. I tend to write important story scenes 3 times, each time without looking at earlier drafts to see what comes out, and then frankenstein the scene from what I have.

In general I try to keep as many of my notes as possible, because I deleted a lot of my notes for START AGAIN: a prologue and it makes me sad I can’t look at my thought process on a lot of things anymore. KEEP YOUR NOTES KIDS

Going back to the big tabs, next we have “World”, which is everything related to worldbuilding, relationships between characters, the general timeline, more detailed notes on the culture, etc. I used this tab a lot less as time went on, but at the start it was very useful to be able to refer to it, especially for all the city names and their spelling…

After that, we have the “Devlog” tab, which is my own private devlog! I find it very useful to keep a private devlog for myself, because it helps me see clearly that YES, the game is coming along. Every week, I try to write down where I’m at, any problems that I have, as well as screenshots of what the game looks like. 

I also give myself space to write how I feel about the game! How is it going? Is it fun to work on this? What do I think about the story, about this character, about this development? I think it’s important to write those things down in the moment- I always keep in mind this post by Wreden, the creator of the Stanley Parable- in it, he talks about the reaction to the Stanley Parable, and how getting so many Thoughts thrown his way about what his game means meant that he lost sight of what his game meant to him. In Stars and Time means a lot to me, and I want to make sure future me remembers why!

Next is “meta”, which is mostly coding references. The way rpgmaker (and, I guess, most video game software???) works is by using variables to keep track of quests and whatnot, and so I used this tab to write down “if this variable equals 5, it means we’re at that point in this quest”! I also used it for code I always use but can’t be bothered to remember, like the conditional code that checks if a switch is ON or not. Aka the simplest most basic code. LISTEN I DON’T WANNA REMEMBER CODE OK

After that is the “To Do” tab, which is pretty self explanatory. I try to divide it into chunks like “To do (localization)”, so I don’t have a massive to-do list, but instead lots of small ones, teehee. This is also where I keep my changelog, to write down any changes I make between builds.

And last, but definitely not least, is my “Messy File” tab! This is where I put ALL MY NOTES. It needs different parts because I made a new part every time opening a tab made my computer chug like crazy. Because it has so many words.

I get an idea for a scene in the middle of the night? GOES INTO THE MESSY SCENE. Oh, I realized when I was grocery shopping that I should fix this small bug by doing this! MESSY FILE. Hehe what if I drew Siffrin baldMESSY FILE. Everything goes there, and then every couple weeks I go through it and put all those little nuggets of ideas into their actual tab. I find it useful to have a file that is allowed to be messy as hell, so the other tabs can be clean and neat!

The Messy File tab also contains the “Entire Story”, which is something I wrote in August 2021 when I started thinking I had no idea where I was going. I took like 4 hours to write down the entire story, from beginning to end, and if I had no idea what would happen, I would just make it up on the spot even if I thought it was bad. And guess what. After that, I knew where I was going. CRAZY!!! I did that a couple more times when I felt stuck at a specific point in the story, and it helped me every time. Would recommend.

And, that’s it! That’s how I organize my notes! I hope! This was! Insightful! Somehow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That’s all I have to say for today! Let me know if you have any questions, or if there’s any aspect of the game development struggle you’d like me to talk about! See you next time!!!

AND DON’T FORGET TO WISHLIST THE GAME ON STEAM ALSO IT REALLY HELPS BECAUSE STEAM’S ALGORITHM IS MORE LIKELY TO SHOW OFF GAMES WITH A HIGH AMOUNT OF WISHLISTS THAT’S THE REASON WHY GAME DEVS ALWAYS ASK TO WISHLIST!!! OKAY BYE!!!!

[smells-like-mettaton]

Rating: G Summary: Sans treks through the laughterless Ruins to bring Toriel a donut. She has other worries on her mind. (Soriel, Exiled Queen Ending) Word Count: 2449

XXX

Sans is nothing if not a creature of habit. Routine means Not Thinking and Not Thinking means he can pretend everything’s okay for a little longer. 

QC’s bakery is closed. The sheet of paper tacked to the door says her sister caught some kind of bug (metaphorical, unfortunately, or else he’d ask for tips). So no Cinnamon Bunnies he’d planned on gifting Toriel to make up for accidentally sleep-shortcutting into her bedroom last night.

(That better not become a habit. For someone who snores so hard, she’s quick to jump awake, fireballs in hands. She wouldn’t hit him on purpose, and bone’s not particularly flammable, but still.)

Habit. He’s not been on the other side of the door long enough to build new ones, yet, though he will. He has before. Not the first time his life’s up and uprooted like a grinning Vegetoid, and at least this time there are familiar places to backtrack to.

Too bad they’re not open.

He sighs, watching the artificial sunlight filter through the golden storefront window, before shortcutting out of the closed shop.

By habit, he almost ends up at Grillby’s before yanking himself back to the Ruins. Can’t throw those dogs a bone. They’ll have too many questions about the Ex-Queen—geez, even about him—and whatever he says’ll end up back to Undyne and he’s not ready for that.

Ruins. The Ruins are safe, for all that they’re unfamiliar. Papyrus would’ve loved exploring the place, with all its rusted traps and spikes.

He shuts his eyesockets for a moment. No habit to keep him on autopilot here. What was he doing again?

Treats. That’s right. Something loaded with sugar that Toriel won’t have to bake herself. Conveniently, his off-kilter shortcut landed him in the room with the bowl of candy… but pilfering the sweets she’d left out for the Froggits and Whimsuns just to give them back to her is too lazy of an apology, even for him.

Speak of the devils. A pair of Froggits and one shaking Whimsun hop-and-flutter through the door. The moth-like monster bursts into tears at the sight of him, fleeing back into the hall.

“Huh. That’s a first.” His grin tightens. “Normally pals wait to cry until after the joke.”

“Ribbit, ribbit,” one Froggit’s face-mouth croaks.

“(Joke?)” the mouth hidden in the shadows of its belly translates. Different from the Final Froggits Sans is used to, whose two mouths tend to speak in harmonizing tandem. “(I don’t understand.)”

Man. Tough crowd.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it.” He shrugs his hands into his hoodie pockets. “Not everyone’s got a funny bone.”

Not even a groan at that. Just a couple of low, cricket-like croaks.

How has Toriel survived so long with this kind of audience? He can feel the humor leaking out his humerus already.

The Froggits are still staring at him. Warily.

“You know anywhere to get some grub around here?” he finally asks, because the silence is threatening to suffocate him and shortcutting around still-mostly-uncharted territory is a great way to spring one of those centuries-old traps. Just walking until he finds something is out of the question, of course. The Ruins are huge, and his legs aren’t.

“Ribbit…” “(Grub…?)”

Right. They’ve been stuck here as long as Toriel, with even less contact with the outside world. 

“Food,” he translates. Though Toriel would probably appreciate literal grubs, too, considering her bug-hunting hobby.

“Ribbitttttt.” “(Ohhh. Spider bake sale. Go out and make a left, then keep going until you reach the end of the hall.)”

He has no idea how far that is, so. Walking. Fun.

“‘Preciate it.”

His slippers scuff across the lavender stone, and he can feel all four pairs of eyes follow him out. Normally he only minds stairs, not stares. But for some reason it makes his vertebrae shiver.

Maybe it was just that Whimsun. The sudden crying, before he could even get a word out… he’s not used to that. 

He’s not used to silence. He’s used to laughter and warmth and explosions and booming cries of “SANS PICK UP YOUR SOCK!” He’s used to being at the beating heart of wherever he is—lab or town or bar or, or. Maybe no one needs him, but they like him and want him and he wants them and he never realized how much being alone sucks.

And this is how Toriel’s been living. For centuries.

Maybe she likes it this way, he rationalizes, but he’s heard the excitement in her voice every time he arrived at the door, the faintest longing whisper any time he mentioned his brother or friends. He doesn’t know her at all, and he knows her too well to believe that.

The thoughts buzz in his skull up until his foot plunges through a false veneer of stone. 

Normally, he has a healthy respect for puzzles, for all that they’re not really his heritage to claim. Today, as he lands face-down in a leafpile, all he can muster is a flat annoyance. 

Maybe he could shortcut back to Toriel’s house and restart from there. But ironically, he doesn’t have a good enough sense of direction to find the bakesale from that angle. If he even can now that he’s fallen a layer deeper underground…

The leaves are pretty comfy. It’s tempting to just lie here. It’s what his old habits want.

Fortunately—unfortunately?—something chomps down on his ankle.

“Contains Vitamin D,” a Vegetoid says, its voice muffled by the tibia in its mouth.

“Huh. So this’s where the jokers’ve been hiding.” Sans grunts and kicks the sentient vegetable away. “No wonder I didn’t Cal-cium before.”

Cal-see-’em. It’s horrible. He’d bet twenty G he can get Toriel to shoot milk out her nose with it.

“Plants Can’t Joke Dummy,” the Vegetoid deadpans despite the grin still carved into its face.

Eh, he can’t begrudge it the grin. He knows how having a one-note facial expression goes. Couldn’t it have at least given him a pity “heh,” though?

“Nah, Dummy’s in a different room,” he glibs despite knowing it won’t get him any results.

“Eat Your Greens,” it replies unrelatedly as he checks the puzzle explanation on the sign and treks back up the stairs.

Ugh. Stares and stairs. They really should just close the curtain on him today.

This time, he pays more attention to the terrain, and makes it to the bake sale with only a few more awkward encounters. 

(He hadn’t meant to pick on Loox. He doesn’t pull out the eye trick for just anyone. It isn’t his fault the optical monster had chosen to interpret it as an insult rather than a flashy display of solidarity.)

He blinks at the bake sale prices on the signs. Only seven G for a donut here? Maybe that’s a reasonable price, but Muffet’s Hotland stand was as much of a ripoff as his fried snow. When the Froggit mentioned spiders, he’d expected to have to haggle or barter his way into some baked goods—which was always a good time, with Muffet. She understood the art of a good deal and if she swindled him a bit too much, at least it was going to charity.

Of course, Muffet isn’t here anyway. He doesn’t know what kind of bargaining these spiders would be up for, if any—and considering his track record today, dropping fourteen G in the web is probably his safest bet.

Some spiders crawl down and silently hand him two donuts.

“Pleasure doin’ business with ya,” he says. Habit.

His words echo off of the enclosing walls, topple down like a cave-in. With ya, with ya, with ya. 

Somehow, he hates that even more than the silence.

XXX

Routine is like habit’s second cousin. Close enough to crash family reunions, distant enough to flake out when you need it most.

There’s no routine to coming home, ‘nuts in hand, only to find Toriel sobbing in her armchair.

“Uh,” he grunts, too caught off guard to even curse. 

Toriel doesn’t cry. She didn’t cry when she saw Asgore’s dust, or when Undyne threatened her at spearpoint, or when she stumbled back over the Ruins threshold, blank stare glazing over her mahogany eyes. And Sans—well, he can’t cry, no ducts to pump out saltwater with, so he doesn’t—doesn’t know what to do. 

Now that’s an understatement.

“Spider ‘nut?” he offers weakly, because food never made anything worse.

A wheeze cuts through her sob. She shakes her head, but waves him over. 

Mixed messages, here.

“I was gonna get ya a cinnabun,” he approaches with soft steps, “but QC was closed today.”

Toriel wipes her face. Her hands are shaking; her claws leave thin trails in the fur above her brow.

“Of course. Of course, that’s all it was.” Her laugh cracks over the words.

“Huh?” Another step closer. 

He wishes he weren’t holding donuts; he’d like to take her hands, pull them away from her face before her claws decide they want to dig in any deeper. He’s not sure that’d be welcome, anyway, after the scare he gave her last night.

“Ap…apologies,” she murmurs. “I… s-so pathetic…”

“Hey.” His browbone scrunches a little. “Not sure what you’re goin’ on about, but I won’t judge. There’s do-nuthin’ to be ashamed of.”

After all of today’s failures, he almost expects it to fall flat, but this is Toriel he’s talking to. A wet bleat interrupts her tears—and boy, that’s a lot of snot. He’s impressed. 

“O-oh dear…” She stares down at her slimy hands.

He shuffles the donuts to the dining table so his hands are free, then shrugs out of his hoodie. 

“Here.” He offers it to her, and she blinks down at him sharply.

“What—no, Sans—”

“‘S due for a wash anyway.”

He drapes the hoodie over her hands before she can protest any further. Too late, he hopes she wasn’t protesting because she wanted something cleaner to wipe her hands on. Oh well.

“...Thank you.” She clutches the garment tightly.

Something squeezes in his ribcage. They’re both staring, and trying to pretend they’re not, and the fireplace is cold so the only thing he can hear is her still-somewhat-congested breathing.

“You, uh. Want me to give you some space…?” he finally asks.

“No,” her answer is quicker and firmer than he expected. “No, please. Stay.”

He nods. Then, hoping he’s not pushing his luck, he hauls himself up onto the arm of her broad chair. His legs hang off the side, his back pressed to her shoulder.

“Now ya won’t have to break your neck lookin’ down at me,” he rationalizes away the touch.

“How thoughtful.” She smiles with a wet snort. 

Her hands tangle deeper into his crumpled hoodie. Her claws are retracted now, though. He’s pretty sure she won’t poke any holes in it. Not that he’d mind if she did.

“I… thought you…” she inhales a shaky breath, “I thought you had left.”

“Yeah, I went out to get snacks and—oh.” He blinks. “You thought I—why?”

She’d thought he left. For good. Not even that he was gone, which could’ve implied she thought a stray Froggit offed him for one of his bad jokes. That he could’ve understood. But left, on purpose?

Nope. Not happening. She’d have to throw him out the doors and recast the seal if she wanted to get rid of him.

“I—I nearly hurt you last night…” she trails off, brows furrowed. 

“Yeah, ‘cause I sleepwalked into your room.” Sleepwalked? Sleptwalked? Technically it was sleep-shortcutted, so. Whatever. “That’s, uh, what the apology ‘nuts were for.”

Stupid walking with his stupid legs. He must’ve taken even longer than he’d thought if Toriel had thought he wasn’t coming back.

“Of course. Of course.” Another weak laugh. “I have been falling apart over nothing…”

“I’ll leave a note next time,” he says lightly, but he means it. 

He knew he meant a lot to her, but this—geez, this scares him. And thrills him, in a messed-up way that sends guilt itching at his collarbones. Someone does still want him, and that someone happens to be the funniest, sweetest, most incredible monster in the Underground. Staying with her was the easiest decision he’s ever made.

The thing is, where he stays is rarely his decision. Not with his luck. If anything happens to him, and she thinks he left by choice—

He just. Won’t think about that. Honestly, he may look as tough as wet cardboard, but he’s not gonna fall down to any Froggit or Loox. 

(And if any twist of fate tries to drop him somewhere new again—he’ll fight and claw with all the determination he doesn’t have. He’ll try.)

(It’s the best he can do.)

He burrows his hand into the hoodie with hers, because the joke he has in mind doesn’t work without touching her palm. That’s the only reason.

“Tori. I’m sticking with you.” 

She looks up, and her hand twitches. Still sticky.

“Snot like you can get rid of me that easy,” he says, in case the first quip was too subtle.

And there it is again, that laugh he lov—likes. 

(Cherishes. Adores. Wants to bottle and put on everything like ketchup.)

“Thank you, Sans. I am… sorry you had to see me like that,” Toriel says, having mostly recovered. He can’t feel her shoulder trembling against his back anymore.

“Hey, like I said. No judgment here.” He shifts, bumping his shoulder against hers with a grin. “What’re friends for?”

After a blink, a warm smile spreads across her face, uncovering the two sharp teeth poking down from her upper lip. 

“They are for worrying me silly, apparently.” 

He’s about to apologize when she cups the side of his face, hand still sticky. Her thumb brushes the curve of his cheekbone.

“Also, for making me laugh, and smile, and apologizing for things that are not his fault, and being kinder than I remembered was possible.”

“Uh-uh…” he blushes, warm and blue under her touch. His brain is short-circuiting a little, and it shows in the embarrassingly flimsy joke he comes up. “I know you are, but what am I?”

She laughs anyway. She always does. It’s enough to make up for every silent Froggit and Whimsun and Loox in the Underground.

“You are awfully handsome in that shade of blue,” she answers, and his brain’s short-circuit goes into full power outage—

Only to explode like Gyftmas lights when she presses her lips to the side of his skull, her protruding teeth scraping slightly in a way that makes him shiver. 

That’s something he could stand to make a habit.

[yeowangies]

Blood Stains

CHAPTER I: You swim in that?

❧

PAIRING: Raditz/Reader RATING: Mature CONTENTS: Attempt at Humor, Canon Divergence AU, POV Alternating, Slow Burn. WARNINGS: None. WORDCOUNT: 2689

Summary:

His line of thought gets interrupted when Raditz notices the human female walking out of the house. You’re just wearing a swimsuit after all, and he can’t help but stare for a solid minute, taking in your entire body wearing such flimsy clothes. You seem just as taken aback as he is, clearly more puzzled by his presence though. 

He feels his face get hot, he knows he must be blushing. 

Raditz understands now what Kakarot has been doing all this time on this goddamn planet.

Notes:

This fic started with the funny premise on the summary and it grew long arms and long legs and it's now an incredibly long fic, with more or less 10 chapters. I also wrote this to be a contrast to my other fic Close Encounter, hence the slow burn tag.

I already wrote this up to chapter 8 or so, so I still have some things left to write, but I'm gonna update this regularly.

The contents and warnings will change for each chapter so look out for those!

“Is Goku coming then?” You ask, stepping down from Bulma’s hover car as you walk over to Kame House. 

“Master Roshi invited him so I’m guessing he is…” Bulma says, walking in front of you to get to the door.

“It’s been such a while since we last saw him…” You murmur to yourself.

Five years since the last Tournament and since Goku took off with his new bride. Sometimes it’s still hard to comprehend he got engaged so fast, you couldn’t wait to ask him about marriage life; he tied the knot so young, he was probably surprised by the experience.

You greet Krillin and Master Roshi after not seeing either one of them for years (and Roshi gets bonked in the head, courtesy of Bulma, because of an inappropriate joke). It’s easy to fall into the dynamic you always had; Bulma keeps complaining about Yamcha, like she always does, making you roll your eyes (the poor guy doesn’t deserve it), and Krillin silently judges her for being so dramatic, which makes you laugh. 

A sunny day is expected, and so far it has been like that, so you quickly excuse yourself to get changed into your pink swimsuit, wanting to take advantage of the weather and sunbathe a little.

Goku arrives immediately afterwards, and your mouth drops open when he brings his four year old son along with him.

*

Raditz could not believe the state of this planet. Kakarot was supposed to eliminate its population, wasn’t he?

If it wasn’t for his scouter signaling some high power levels around, he would have thought his brother was annihilated by these weaklings. But that couldn’t be it. He’s a Saiyan, even as a child, it should have been enough power for him to get rid of this plague in a month or so. He has already encountered that green man earlier, he doesn’t want to assume that such a weak bug would have eliminated him.

What happened then?!

“Fuck you, Kakarot, you had one simple mission…” He grumbles, flying at high speed towards the location his scouter is pointing him to.

The high power is moving rapidly, and Raditz smirks when it suddenly stops. Kakarot is going to get an earful and a beating too, for good measure, and he speeds up to get to his destination so he can finally know what’s happening. 

He lands roughly on a beach of a small island with a pink house. And there he is, his own brother, easy to recognize because he looks so much like their father, surrounded by three humans. Kakarot looks bewildered, staring at him with his mouth hanging open. Raditz frowns, extremely annoyed. He is willingly hanging out with this species?

“Kakarot! What’s with the condition of this planet?!” He practically yells, exasperated when Kakarot looks even more confused by his every word. “Your mission was to exterminate this species! What game have you been-”

His line of thought gets interrupted when Raditz notices the human female walking out of the house. You’re just wearing a swimsuit after all, and he can’t help but stare for a solid minute, taking in your entire body wearing such flimsy clothes. You seem just as taken aback as he is, clearly more puzzled by his presence though. 

He feels his face get hot, he knows he must be blushing. 

Raditz understands now what Kakarot has been doing all this time on this goddamn planet.

“What’s going on?” You ask, looking at Kakarot and the other humans. They seem just as intrigued by your presence and his reaction at your appearance, with the way they keep glancing back and forth. “Who’s that?”

“I would like to know that too!” Kakarot spits, still in a defensive stance.

But Raditz isn’t paying him any mind. He keeps staring at you, perplexed and stunned. Do all human females wear those clothes?! He hasn’t noticed it on his way here, and even the other woman on the island isn’t wearing anything that revealing. 

It isn’t just the attire, however. The clothes are distracting enough, but you are attractive. Enough to make him forget about why he’s there in the first place.

You blink a couple of times, clueless, before turning your eyes towards the other humans beside you.

“Can someone tell me what on Earth is happening?”

Raditz snaps out of his own head at your question, shaking his head slightly, just in time when the little bald Earthling approaches him. He has to focus, he’s there for a reason; to get Kakarot back so he joins their group. Distractions are not allowed; he can’t fail a mission this simple, it’s literally a piece of cake, and no female will distract him from it, no matter how alluring they are. 

*

It has been a shock to find out that Goku has a brother, but it’s even more startling that he’s an alien. It makes sense in retrospect, but it’s not like a lot of people would have gotten to that conclusion with certainty. 

Raditz stared at you the moment he saw you, and you figured it had a lot to do with the swimsuit you were wearing. Which was hilarious, but you were too concerned about Gohan being kidnapped and Goku going after him to laugh about it at that time. Only Bulma cracked a joke, and you rolled your eyes, blushing a bit but brushing off her comment. You did notice he’s attractive, but the fact that he was violent and threatening Goku and this planet preoccupied your mind. 

Now, however, you’re looking at his face as he lays unconscious on a very high-tech hospital bed at Bulma’s house, in one of its many rooms, connected by cables to computers and monitors. Goku insisted before dying that his brother stays alive, and no one refused him (Piccolo did try to talk him out of it, but it was futile). And if you were honest, you didn’t want him to die either, for reasons probably just as selfish as Goku’s. You’re glad everyone complied; Bulma knew you well enough to let you monitor him on your own without questions, so you got to see him everyday. Unconscious, but you count your blessings. You got to stare at his handsome face and even his toned chest too, even though most of his torso was covered in bandages; but now you want to hear him talk, even if he goes back to threatening the Earth or something. 

It has been a week since Raditz has been like that, he did lost a lot of blood after all. But even you know he’s healing abnormally fast. Any human could have died from that injury, but he hadn’t. And his superficial wounds are long gone. A Saiyan, that’s what Goku and Raditz were. You still can’t wrap your head around it.

You’re on the verge of dozing off one day when you hear the sheets shuffle slightly. You practically jump from your seat to approach his bed, staring at him to see if he wakes up. Raditz does wake up, sitting up abruptly as soon as he opens his eyes, making you yelp loudly. 

“You scared me!” You practically yell at him, clutching your chest.

He stares at you with wide eyes, panting, as he calms himself down slowly. You hope he remembers meeting you before, because he certainly seemed intrigued back then, and you hope that’s enough reason for him not to attack you. You’re just a human after all, even in his state, he could harm you if he wanted to.

“You’re that girl with the skimpy clothes…” He finally says, eyeing you up and down slowly.

“Huh?” You gape at him momentarily before you understand what he means. “Oh, my swimsuit you mean?”

“Your swimsuit? You swim in that?”

“Yes, that’s what it’s made-”

“Is all your species this indecent?”

“Woah, hey! You’re alive because of us, you know?”

Raditz groans, obviously in pain, and you immediately shut your mouth. 

“Are you in pain? You should lay back down.”

“Where am I?” He asks, ignoring your words.

“This is my friend’s house. We-”

“Why am I here?”

“I-”

“And what are you doing here?”

“Maybe you should let me speak?” You ask, a little annoyed at this point. He stares at you, and you take his silence as a signal to go on. “You were bleeding pretty badly after your fight with Goku and Piccolo, so we brought you here. We did our best to help you heal, but it’s going to take a while until you’re better. I’ve been checking in on you every day, you’ve been passed out for a week.”

He doesn’t look pleased at all, but he doesn’t look like he’s going to strangle you either, so you take it as a win. He frowns deeply, inspecting all the bandages in his body, wincing when he twists his body in certain ways.

“Raditz, that’s your name, right?” 

You remember it perfectly, but maybe asking him about it would mellow him out a bit. He doesn’t reply, so you take the opportunity to introduce yourself. He only looks at you curiously, clearly in a defensive stance (or as defensive as he can be in his state). 

“You should rest. Are you hungry? I can have food brought in.”

“Aren’t you my brother’s ally?”

“Yeah, I am, why?”

“I could kill you right now.”

“Ok? Why are you telling me that?” You frown.

“Why are you helping me?” He practically growls. He does look menacing due to how big he is, but he also looks in pain. 

“Why not?” You shrug. “You don’t remember what happened before you passed out?”

Raditz doesn’t reply, but he continues to glare at you. He must not remember; it would make sense since he was bleeding a lot before he fainted. He wouldn’t remember that Goku asked you to keep him alive because he didn’t want to kill him. 

*

When Raditz woke up in that bed in what looked like some kind of hospital room and you were right in front of him, he didn’t know if it was a blessing or a curse. You were distracting enough, he didn’t have time to entertain himself with an earthling.

The second thing he felt once awake was pain. His entire torso ached, and that’s when he noticed the bandages. You told him that he was bleeding profoundly, but he barely remembers that. 

Why are you even helping him? He’s your enemy after all. He knows he’s weak in his current state, and without the healing tanks, he’s going to take a little longer to heal, but Saiyans still recover pretty fast compared to other species. He could wait a week, or even a month, and kill you then. Why are you taking the risk?

Raditz doesn’t remember what happened with that green guy and his brother. Is Kakarot dead? It would be safe to assume that he is, he does remember almost being hit directly by that powerful beam, but his brother did get hit. But even if he’s dead, he can’t deal with his companion in his current state. 

Which leads him again to the question of why he’s even alive. The memories of the last couple of minutes in that last fight are fuzzy. Surely that guy wouldn’t have let him go that easily, he is a threat to this planet after all. 

Raditz groans loudly, rubbing his temples. He might have to ask you about it, but he’s not sure he can trust you yet. As captivating as you are. 

“Are you in pain?” You ask him when you enter the room the next morning after he wakes up. “Since you’re not human, I’m not sure how many painkillers we can give you.”

“Tell me what happened before I passed out.” 

He ignores every word you said, and that seems to bother you by the twitch in your eyebrow and the slight pout on your lips. Which is rather cute, he has to admit. 

“Ask nicely and maybe I’ll tell you.”

“Do I have to remind you again that I can kill you?”

“Yeah well, do it then.”

Arching an eyebrow, Raditz scoffs. 

Threatening to kill you is a bad idea, simply because he knows he doesn’t want to. But since you’re daring him to do so… he should do it, right? Why would he care if you live or die, this planet is doomed anyway.

You smile at him, like you know he won’t lift a finger to touch you, and it pisses him off a little. A part of him, however, likes your attitude. He won’t ever say it out loud, though. 

“Don’t worry, I’m not withholding information from you on purpose. I just want you to be nice to me, that’s all.”

“I’m not nice.”

“I can tell.” You roll your eyes playfully. “But you can try. After all, I've been taking care of you from the beginning.”

“God knows why you’re stupid enough to do that.”

His words do make you angry this time, your face twisting in a way he hasn’t seen yet, and he smirks proudly. His provocation worked this time.

“We’re not all homicidal maniac aliens, okay?! I was hoping you’d wake up from your coma soon, but I didn’t think you’d be this rude!”

“You were hoping I’d wake up?” Raditz snorts loudly, not even containing his laughter. “Are you insane, girl?”

“Yes, I’m crazy enough to want to talk to you!” 

“Why?”

“Because I think you’re handsome, dumbass!”

Raditz balks, taken aback by your words, and he soon feels his face heat up. Just like that first time he saw you. You still stare at him with ire in your eyes, your first turned into balls by your sides. He’s not even sure what to say, but making you angry had been a terrible idea; not only did you confess to finding him attractive, but you also look incredibly more appealing than usual now that anger is adorning your features. And he doesn’t know what to do in this situation. 

“So I think the best thing you can do is be nice to me.” Luckily for him, you go on speaking after a beat, still clearly annoyed, but a little calmer. 

At a loss for words, Raditz looks elsewhere so you won’t notice the blush on his cheeks. When you turn to ask for breakfast through the phone, he briefly looks your way, and notices how red the tip of your ears are. At least he’s not the only one who's embarrassed. You usually hang around the room with him, even if he’s not necessarily a conversational wonder, but this situation must have made you feel embarrassed because you leave the room shortly after requesting for food. 

He dwells on your words now that he’s alone. You thought he was handsome, now what? He does find you attractive, it must have been obvious by the way he stared at you the moment you met, as embarrassing as it was. He never had to chase after a woman before, so he’s not sure what to do. What are Earth courting customs anyway? For what he vaguely remembers about his own people, courtship usually involved offering a trophy, like an animal hunted for solely that purpose. But that was a mating proposal. This isn’t mating. He just wants to fuck you.

The first thing he should do is get used to standing on his feet without twisting in pain before considering doing any other kind of straining activity. Saiyans heal fast, but getting to that point is going to take a while. 

Raditz grunts, sinking into the bed. How stupid is he? He shouldn’t even consider any of this. Nappa and Vegeta are coming to Earth. He remembers them sharing that information with him through his scouter…

Fuck, what even happened to his scouter? He’s going to have to ask you about it. 

For some reason, he remembers feeling intense fury before passing out, when Nappa and Vegeta were talking to him. But he doesn’t exactly remember the reason.

[mania-sama]

And what if I want to write another song analysis nobody cares about? You can't stop me. This one's gonna be about how Outrunning Karma by Alec Benjamin fits Itadori Yuuji because it does. It simply does. I know Itadori feels like he'll never atone for what happened in Shibuya, and this song really exemplifies that guilt. I don’t care if people think Alec Benjamin is considered cringe now I do what I want.

"Outrunning karma, that boy / He's such a charmer, all the / bugs and their larva follow / him out to Colorado." -> Itadori is a charmer; he’s really nice, funny, respectful but in a charming, boy-ish way. He has the fabled Unshakeable Spirit that makes him respected by his peers. But this attitude, this charm, this unshakeable spirit, it makes people want to break him. That’s how we get Mahito, the bugs and larva, hellbent on destroying that willpower. That’s how we get his broken spirit, with the weight of thousands of deaths following him no matter where he goes.

"Ten-dozen hearts in a bag / Their bodies lyin', he'll drag / them down to Colorado / A modern desperado." -> He can’t abandon the burden of Shibuya. He’ll take them wherever they go — nothing anybody will do will get him to forgive himself, to let go of the bag of a thousand bleeding hearts. He will always carry their lives with him. I like the second part of the stanza, too, about the desperado. A series of violent crimes, or it could be a reference to the movie: a man is thrust into a dark underground, and in an attempt to rid the world of a drug lord, he leaves a trail of bodies in his wake. I can’t think of a more accurate description/comparison of Itadori’s story.

"And he'll race for miles through the night / he runs because he knows he cannot hide." -> I believe, just for a moment, he wanted to run. Run from the world that made him the vessel of the King of Curses, run from himself, run from the curses and Shibuya and the Culling Games.

"He's never gonna make it, all the / poor people he's forsaken, karma / is always gonna chase him for his lies.“ -> But he knows running would not absolve him of his guilt. Leaving the Jujutsu world will not change the fact that he believes he killed all those people, it will not change anything. The souls of those he failed will always follow him.

“It's just a game of waiting from the / church steeple down to Satan karma / There's really no escape until he dies." -> Just as the lyric says, it’s all a waiting game for Itadori. He has one goal: save Megumi. That was what gave Itadori the will to keep going, after Todo lost his hands and the world collapsed around him. Megumi have him this one goal, and when it’s all over, he will wait for his judgement. There is no escaping his karma for “not being strong enough” to suppress Sukuna until he is finally executed. Only death, only the final judgement, will give him salvation.

"Outrunning karma, that boy / can't run no farther, it's the last days of Sparta, follow / him down to meet Apollo." -> It’s the final fight. The only place he would run was straight to the Culling Games to kill Sukuna, to fight for the soul of Fushiguro Megumi and those that have been killed along the way. In this instance, Apollo was the patron god of Sparta. Even though he was “good”, he could bring mass destruction with the tip of his arrow in the form of a plague. Just as Itadori brings good, but as a vessel, he brought destruction to the city. A plague of curses. Also, as referenced in the chorus. Christianity actually demonized Apollo as a malevolent deity. Evil. If we take this interpretation, it’s still talking about the same instance: Itadori will follow Sukuna until the King of Curses has perished. He was willing to even fight him for all of eternity in Hell, as mentioned when he died and Sukuna forged a pact with him.

"And he'll brace for battle in the night / he fights because he knows he cannot hide." -> He can’t run from Shibuya, he can’t hide, so he will do this one final act and fight. Fight for the lives unrightfully taken under Sukuna’s fingertips, fight to kill Sukuna, fight to save Megumi. This, he knows, is his only fate.

Itadori is so tragic. I really need him to save Megumi and together they can heal, because that’s what they do, right? Save each other from their toxic mindsets. They’ve been doing it since Season 1. They will do it again and again and again.

[canyouhearthelight]

Nihilus Rex, Ch. 28: Deal with the Devil

Writing this chapter was... interesting to say the least. Creating such a disgusting character with @baelpenrose was both more and less of a challenge than expected. But hey, Bael got to brush off his knowledge from his troll hunting days, so that came in handy.

Guy still gives me the creeps, though.

I don't need no arms around me

And I dont need no drugs to calm me.

I have seen the writing on the wall.

Don't think I need anything at all.

No! Don't think I'll need anything at all.

All in all it was all just bricks in the wall.

All in all you were all just bricks in the wall.

Pink Floyd, “Another Brick in the Wall, Part III”

Lash

A couple days later, after Nils and I had agreed to take some space and get some social ‘fresh air’, I was in my parents’ apartment, listening to Baba snore gently when my phone buzzed.  Nils’ name popped up on the screen, which wasn’t unusual since we did check in each day.  I ignored it for the moment, deciding to clean the one or two dishes from Baba’s lunch.  However, no sooner had the water started to heat up in the sink than my phone started buzzing more urgently.

I sighed, dried my hands, and answered. “This is new. You never call.” 

“Neither do funny AIs, but times are changing.” Nils’ voice contained the self-satisfied tones of a man delivering an inside joke. “I think we really might want to check our place of business to work on the breakthrough.” 

“Exciting times,” I murmured, trying not to wake Baba in my shock. Our little pestilential question mark had already made contact. “Let me leave a note for Baba.  Mori should be home in about an hour, but I don’t want him to wake up and panic if I’m not here.  Or, you know… do something stupid in a fit of toxic masculinity.”

“No worries. We have a little time before the meeting with the investors.” Nils’ voice was quiet, and he sounded for all the world like an insufferable young man going into a tech startup with his girlfriend. “Let’s sell it, babe.” 

He disconnected, and I took a deep breath.  First, finish these dishes or I’ll never hear the end of it from Mori, I decided.  Mama was still in the hospital due to a respiratory infection - nothing major, the doctors swore, but they wanted to keep a close eye on it to be safe.  Less than fifteen minutes later, I had a note left by Baba’s bed and was out the door.

Getting to the abandoned mall was a journey in and of itself, both as a consequence of public transport and because I took a few unnecessary routes out of sheer paranoia.  I finally got there, and Nils was waiting for me with a surprise.

“Bishop!” I gasped in excitement, trying not to scream.  The gruff-looking older man took the bag out of my left hand and hugged me with his free arm.  “Hey, Baklava.  Good to see that face in one piece.”

“He’s been briefed, and he’s spent the last several hours helping us set up the VPNs - far as our mark knows, we’re not in the same country. He’s here to monitor the connection and make sure the fucker doesn’t start tracing us through it as we talk.” Nils spoke, quickly. “You play yourself but more grandiose, I have to play the asshole as we sound him out, but if he’s wise to the game, we drop the act a bit and try for more subtlety, and we can play a little more open and hook him in. Stay noncommittal and keep our cards close to the chest no matter what - Bishop and I already physically debugged the place, but if there’s digital bugs we didn’t get or coming from his end, we can’t give them anything that’ll hold up as a confession. When in doubt, look at Bishop, or glance to me, I’ve been reading my mother’s legal shit nonstop for days now.” 

Anxiety immediately spiked through me. This was happening. I nodded. “Okay, got it.  Let me drop off some of this food, and we can get on it.”

Bishop made a mockery of a fake pout. “You mean this isn’t all for me?”

I glanced at the huge bag of food he had, and the one in my other hand. “Sure. I am completely certain you can eat twenty pounds of food. Especially since it’s mostly veggies and carbs.”

That made him do an about face. “My plumbing thanks you for the warning.”

The guys helped me drop off food to the storefronts where people were most likely to camp out, and we made our way to the breakroom in the old Sears.  I flopped on the same beanbag I used last time with a puff of dust and started unpacking my laptop.  “Let’s get me through all the VPNs, and I’ll be ready to go.”

Nils and Bishop helped me get set up, with Bishop exaggeratedly and pointedly looking away at Nils’ whispered apologies to me for his snipiness, and him holding out a hand for me to take.

We had just barely finished getting my audio set up when Nils looked at me. “We got this, Lash.” 

“We got this,” I agreed, adjusting my mic. “Time to turn ‘on’ our online mad hacker personas.”

He walked over to his computer and hooked in his audio. As I saw his signal, it was the familiar black chess king icon, but the “ANothing49BC” was gone. Beneath the icon was the screenname “Nihilus Rex.” 

I looked at him, quizzically, and said, “New handle?”

“Same old, really. Just a bit more gravitas. If I’m gonna be the king of this shitshow, I have to remind everyone I’m still King of Nothing.” His voice sounded manic, nervous, but with an underlying tension to it.

“Nihilus Rex.” It did have more gravitas than his original handle, and it suited him better, if I was being completely honest.

Then the call started. 

The pfp I was looking at contrasted both with my highly stylized Phoenix and Nils’ Black King - it was a skull with a dagger spiked through it, vertically. Underneath, the handle - MostDangerousPlayer. 

Didn’t that say lovely things about the person we were going to be meeting with. 

No one spoke. No one spoke, and I was half convinced there was some sick white people power play going on. 

Then Nils finally spoke, and I was absolutely certain. “Hello, you asked for a meeting to discuss certain…collaborative opportunities?” His voice was light, easy.

“I have questions about your work with the banks.” The voice on the other end was calm, flat. It almost sounded fake, and I was inclined to think it was.

“That’s interesting. We have questions about any potential partner - our work with banks is a bit sensitive. Clients worried about confidentiality for obvious reasons.” Nils was obviously playing multiple angles - if this was a fed, it would look like Nils was being careful to avoid being fished, as we’d discussed, but if this was for real this would look like an abundance of caution. I heartily approved, especially in light of my previous gaffe with the FBI agent.

“Alright. Then can we talk about roles within the…organization, I’m looking at? I feel that that should be safe enough to discuss, without violating client confidentiality. And I’d like to hear both of you speak.” The voice on the other end seemed bemused - and like it understood what was happening. What we were concerned about. 

Nils glanced to me and mouthed, “give just a little.” 

I put on my customer-service voice, pitched down slightly. “Apologies. I am dealing with some delays in the audio, but I am here.” That should be safe enough.  If anything, it would emphasize the theoretical distance between us. “What roles were you most interested in?”

“Oh, I think I would be interested in determining if your enterprise is real. If it is, I have…interests, in the field of corporate discipline. Helping targets get met, helping logistics be organized, all that.” He emphasized the word discipline ever so slightly, with stress on the wrong syllables to give no mystery as to what it meant. He’d already twigged we were playing, that the Disciples weren’t entirely real, but that he was offering to help make them a real thing.  “But I think you misunderstand my question - what roles do you two play?” 

I turned to Nils with wide eyes, just in time to catch Bishop shaking his head at his screen. Not a good sign, and Nils clearly caught it as his expression darkened.

Then he carried on, undeterred. “I’d say that the phoenix is…unorthodox, one might say, but something of a diversity coordinator and invaluable to our efforts, and that I am more or less the corporate executive. Thus far everyone pitches in on the technological side - there is also a chief of system security.” Nils’ voice at the end took on a mocking edge. 

The guy at the other end of the call chuckled. “Ah, that’s the way of it. This seems like a project built on a dream. And unless I’m missing my guess - you’ve already had some results.” 

“One could say that.” 

I chose that moment to speak up a little. “You seem to have at least some idea of our…goals.  It only seems fair to ask a bit about your background.”

“Did human intelligence for the military for a while, got out back in 2013, realized that for all the military promises to teach you marketable skills the two skills they taught me that’re more marketable than anything else in this day and age aren’t something I can put on a resume. You guys’ marketing campaign for new talent said you were looking for security, cyber and physical, and I can do both. You want smart, I already proved I can run you down and crack the codes you came up with that were cyphered across a bunch of different communities and worldviews. You guys seem smart and capable, and willing to work from a bunch of angles, and I want to get in on the ground floor of something like that, rather than getting caught with a bunch of useless eunuchs stuck in an echo chamber.” 

I gave Nils a skeptical look. To my knowledge, our ‘campaign’ hadn’t said anything about physical security - we had Nils’ fucknuckle minions for that.  But the level of crazy this guy was giving made it clear we definitely needed him on our side rather than against us.

“Our campaign didn’t say anything about physical security, but I don’t have complaints about your application.” Nils said, slowly. “That was clever. Question, though: what echo chamber did you leave to find us? And why did you leave them? Be honest.” 

“I appreciate the question, actually. So, I was stuck with a bunch of white supremacist dipshits for a while. I kinda got the “white power” thing, but they were wrong about the reasons - white people didn’t rule the world because we’re better, we ruled the world because we conquered it and that’s how power works. When they started talking about white genocide or great replacement I started losing my goddamn mind that I was putting up with them. If they really thought they were better, they should have relished the chance to prove it by competing rather than try to use the government to crack down, and if they couldn’t do that, then obviously whites aren’t the master race and it's our turn to be subjugated. Natural selection, rules of nature. Essentialists are idiots.”

My eyes got wide again. Oh, he’s crazy crazy. I looked at Bishop again, and he looked just as concerned as I was.  Nils, on the other hand, looked like this is exactly what he had expected.  Which, again, tracked.

“I won’t pretend that isn’t deeply concerning to me. I have a question: if our aim is partially to prove that the ‘rules of nature' don't apply along racial lines, but along different axes entirely, do you see yourself objecting?” 

“I’m open to not supporting or disputing your theory until I see it in action. And I’m open to helping convince the idiots who aren’t good for anything else to do what you tell them if you’re correct.” 

I muted my mic and gestured for Nils to do the same.  When he nodded to confirm, I was still barely above a whisper when I spoke. “This is really feeling too easy,” I wondered. “For someone who has spent weeks undermining us and trying to get your army out from under you, he’s caving entirely too fast.”

“He did fail to get my army out from under me,” Nils mused. “Think about his offer. He wants to be the lieutenant that helps coordinate my army for us, and at least for right now, our interests and his genuinely align. Throw the government into chaos, right? Let the world return to ‘rules of nature - predator vs. prey, social darwinist, not…actual rules of nature’ - and see who wins. But he’s spent the last several weeks getting dribbled by me in those spaces because I’m smarter than he is overall. But give him that access…what’s to stop him from taking his orders until our interests diverge and he can take the army we handed him and Order 66 us?” 

I held up one finger and unmuted my microphone. “What are you willing to offer as a gesture of good faith that we can believe you?” I muted myself again and shrugged at Nils while Bishop stifled a laugh. “Worth a shot.”

“The current screen name attached is my more used handle - trace it back and you’ll find more about me. Well within your skills from what I’ve seen. I also have cold evidence of something you’re very interested in. I’ll send you a sealed file in a drop if you provide a place for me to drop it. If you find it interesting, you know where to message me.”

Nils paused, muted his mic, and looked at the trace for the screenname. “Wow. This is…not well sealed.” Then he unmuted. “I want it perfectly clear that you cannot begin to imagine the level of hate I will rain on your motherboard for the rest of time if I open a malware packet.” 

“I would still scrub whatever you find like it has STDs,” I murmured.

Nils gave the code for a blank webdrive we had access to. Then a file was dropped in. Contained in that closed file was a zipped video of a molotov attack on a cafe with two semi familiar individuals and one stranger  cursing at each other to run. The cameraman’s arm was visible, with a very familiar swastika tattoo.

“Opinions?” Nils voice was quiet. 

“Christ…” I swore, rubbing my face. “That’s… Scary, but definitely a show of good faith.  Were there any strings?”

Bishop stood and started pacing and cursing under his breath. “There’s a fourth one.”

“That is neither here nor there,” I forced out, as much as it was killing something inside me.  “Was there anything attached to the file? Tracker, virus, anything suspicious?”

“No,” Bishop replied, slowly. “It was clean. For what it’s worth, this guy is interested in joining up.”

“I’ll be honest, he gives me two heebs and a jeeb, but it’s pretty clear Bishop’s right,” I admitted. “Nils?”

“If we can use him, and he’s not trying to fuck us over, we can make do, yeah.” his response was terse. 

Bishop took his seat again, combing his beard with his fingers. “Then it’s unanimous. Reluctant, but unanimous.  But I do plan on keeping tabs on this guy with as much time as I possibly can carve out, just so the two of you know.”

Nils nodded, so I unmuted my mic. “Package received and reviewed. Thank you for that.  Everything looks good on this end.  I think we can do business together, pending a second review.  I’m sure you understand.”

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Argiope amoena

Debut: Real Life

A post about a real animal, outside of April Fool’s Day? Have we gone SILLY? Yes, we have long ago, and I would hope you noticed by now! However, this isn’t a post to discuss in-depth the species itself (sorry amoena), but rather to reveal its legacy! What do I mean by that? You will see.

So! Argiope amoena. A real photo can be seen here! It is an orb-weaving spider, with adult females creating a large, vertical web, which they sit in the middle of as they wait for prey to get entangled. It can be easily distinguished by its striking yellow and black striped abdomen! It is native to southern Asia, including Japan, and as a result, tends to be commonly represented or referenced in Japanese media. This is its legacy!

The most relevant amoena reference to our blog is, of course, Scuttlebug! In Super Mario 64 DS, they were redesigned from fanged gumballs to the stripey spiders they are today, though whether they have suction cups or boxing gloves for feet tends to vary. I actually learned this species’ name BECAUSE of Scuttlebug! I was on Scuttlebug’s wiki page to see if they mentioned its species anywhere, confident it was SOME kind of Argiope, and it turns out its Korean name is literally Argiope amoena. Super Mario is educational! He and his funny friends are full of funny facts! I like this Sticker Star sprite in particular, since it is the exact position the real spiders take in the center of the web!

Scuttlebug is far, FAR from the only one in the Mario universe, too! Here, from left to right, we have Suu from Super Mario Land; Paidan from Wario Land; Arachne from Super Mario RPG; and Webber and Anonster from Wario Land 3! I can’t say for sure that they are all amoena for sure- really, Scuttlebug is the only one that seems confirmed- but I can assure you every creature in this post is almost certainly based on a member of the Argiope genus!

More fictional spiders will be under the cut, be aware that while there will not be any photos, some of these may be more realistic-looking than the Mario examples!

Moving away from Mario, another iconic Argiope is the Skulltula from the Zelda series! Yes, I know I have been going on and on about the striped abdomen, and this one’s abdomen is covered by a skull, but I am still confident here! Not only are the proportions and posture accurate to an Argiope, but it exhibits another important trait of many Argiopes- their extremely fashionable leg stripes! Like Luigi’s extremely fashionable striped socks that Nintendo has erased from history. They can’t edit the striped socks out of nature, though!

In Pac-Man 2: The New Adventures (the best Pac-Man game), Pac-Man can encounter an amoena dangling from a tree in town, and he is delighted to see it! After looking at it, he will become oh so jolly and saunter away while whistling. If he is feeling smug, he will get it out of the way, but with a harmless hand wave that encourages it to ascend back up. I am really impressed by how respected this spider is!

The Argiope genus is present in Animal Crossing, with Argiope bruennichi starring as THE spider! The bug called Spider! The only spider in the game besides the tarantula! If a tree is shaken, Spider may descend! What happens to Spider next is up to you...

What’s with all of these orb-weavers focusing on dangling from a thread rather than actually being stationed on a web? I don’t know. But it’s fun either way! Here is Grabber from Sonic 2, one of those lucky Badniks given the blessing to reappear in future games! Grabbers are here to grab, and if they grab you, they will explode shortly after. Fun spider fact! They do not do that in real life.

I always feel like Yo-Kai Watch doesn’t have enough spiders in it, but I think that’s probably because Arachnus, the most notable spidery character, is more of a spider-themed guy than a spider. But then he got a Shadowside form, and this is pretty awesome! He is actually a spider now! The stripes are here! I can always count on the stripes, and I like when the black is more of a purple, too.

If I ever bothered to actually use Arachnus in game, I would have realized that there was a cool actual spider there all along, as his Soultimate move shows what I assume is his True Form in the background, looking more Argiope than ever! Arachnus is a direct adaptation of the yokai Tsuchigumo, which are actually more depicted as resembling ground spiders... but also sometimes depicted as tiger-like! It always comes back to stripes! It is fun to see this one interpreted more like an Argiope, and it would be especially fun if it was intentionally a reference to the tiger stripes!

In one of my favorite Argiope appearances, we have Como from the Kirby series! While it first appeared in Dream Land 3, it was Return to Dream Land that redesigned it with that distinctive striped abdomen. And then Star Allies went and gave it its own ability and made it a full playable character! Como is easily, to me, the most special spider on this list, and my favorite.

Also look at this! An unused concept for a Spider character, superficially similar to Como, but with eyes and a smile on the abdomen, with the head becoming a sort of torso! This design is so fascinating and I really quite love it. The spinnerets become “hair”, the chelicerae become “legs”, and it gains a pair of magic-style floating mitten hands! Also the original eyes are kind of like boobs now. Is this a good thing? You decide!

There is also a striped spider in Seaman, which you will have to trust me about because I was unable to get a good image. It has a creepy face, poisons Seaman when he eats it, and you then have to speak encouraging words to him, or he will die. Please trust me.

Those are all the examples I can think of, really! But I would love to hear about any more! And now you all know to thank Argiope amoena for its service to the arts!