#can’t provide that because technically I DONT HAVE IT ANYMORE

[bloodyrobyn]

Hiding in the tags

[littlecrittereli]

Hello, me again, your Guardianship AU has latched onto my brain and won’t let go so I have more questions

First, how much does Chris know about the CPS hounding Martin? Does he understand that there’s a real possibility he could be removed from his brother’s custody? In the comic you made, when they were younger, Chris was pretty oblivious about it all (mostly cause Martin didn’t wanna worry him and didn’t tell him any details) but now that he’s a bit older, has he picked up on certain things? ‘Cause you’ve also mentioned that the AU has decent resemblance to Lilo & Stitch, but in that movie Lilo seems very aware of their situation which isn’t the case for Martin and Chris, especially because Martin’s personality is pretty opposite to Nani.

Second, and I totally get it if you don’t know, I’m just an over-thinker, but how would the parents have died in your AU? Because I can see the cause of death being pretty traumatizing depending on what it is, especially for Martin who was old enough to understand what was going on followed by the responsibility of raising his younger brother who is basically the only family he has left. Maybe even for Chris, though as you mention he was too young and doesn’t remember them much anymore.

Once again, love your AUs, Guardianship AU is clearly my favorite but I’m a sucker for sibling dynamics, especially the trope “brothers-against-the-world”.

Chris is definitely more aware of Child Protective Services than he was when he was a kid. They aren’t AS much of a threat anymore which is why Chris isn’t really worried about them. Martin has custody of him, and he just gets evaluated every so often to make sure he’s taking care of Chris and providing him a healthy and stable environment. (CPS is very concerned about chris traveling in the Tortuga but mostly leave them alone now) Martin definitely gets hella stressed when these evaluations come along, but he’s been doing this dance with CPS for so long by that point he’s not as worried. When he was 17, and freshly emancipated he was fightin for his life in those courtrooms 💀

Chris knows about it now, but in his eyes, Martin is the best guardian ever? He cannot fathom the idea of Martin being an “unfit guardian” so he can’t even imagine a situation where CPS would have a reason to take him. Which is also a small point of tension for them? Because on one hand Martin is glad his brother isn’t worried and trusts him, but also feels frustrated by Chris not taking it seriously or understanding the weight of it like he does.

But Chris is honestly more worried about Martin getting sick of having to drag him around and giving up custody of him. But those are repressed emotions to unpack for another day.

And I don’t actually have a reassonnn for the parents death yet. In the hypothetical fanfiction that I have not written yet, I don’t want to explicitly state it. Its something they dont like to talk about. And they probably get really nervous/jittery around any subjects related to the cause. I’m leaning more towards something like a car accident. Something that could happen to anyone, but also very tragic. It’s technically not decided for sure though! So im open to any suggestions at the moment.

[winderlylandchime]

1/2 And we are on 5x02 and he is stressed. After he hit play, he just went ‘they better fix this shit because that was a bad start of the season’… yeah. ‘Oh shit, so this la thing is done? Or is he staying? I feel bad for Blondie but I’m happy I won’t have to see that dude as Rage.’ ‘So Brian really owns Babylon? Ted is almost like Brian’s mom. And best friend. I like this relationship between them’ ‘so Mike and Ben are really gonna buy the house in the boringhood? The difference between Brian’s day and Mike’s day is insane. I like Brian’s way more.’ That scene with Ted in the diner happens where he gets called sir ‘oh i feel bad for laughing but that was funny. I love Ted..Mike didn’t know about Babylon? fucking hell, up until 3 minutes ago you didn’t want a house either. Can he stop telling people how to live their lives?’ Mike mentions JR spending time with them ‘wait what? I thought he was a donor? So now because they broke up he gets to keep her? That’s fucking weird’ ‘this Keller guy looks like he has a wig on. A really bad wig. Also, Justin why are you still here? Go to Brian. Blondie. Please tell me youre not dumb enough to believe Keller. I hate this for him but come on.’ Mike and Ben come up ‘screaming so loud she woke up the baby? THE BABY WAS ALREADY AWAKE MIKE. SHE WAS UP ALL NIGHT. And she’s technically right..i mean he isn’t a parent. Yoouuuuu can provide a more STABLE home? My man, you can’t go one day without being in someone else’s business’ Babylon scene is happening ‘you’re telling me Brian fucking Kinney had a bad opening night? YOURE TELLING ME BRIAN FUCKING KINNEY WOULDNT KNOW HOW TO PROMOTE AN OPENING OF A CLUB? I call bullshit, this is the second dumbest thing I’ve seen in this season. Remember Rage? And that carnival? I am insulted on his behalf!’ ‘WHY ARE YOU STILL IN LA JUSTIN?! I wouldve thought he’d want to go home to Brian? Please don’t tell me Brian was right and he’s gonna go back’ Narrator’s note: at this point he paused the ep and went outside on a smoke break and he is walking up and down the yard stressed out. ‘Awwww Brian is sad. AGAIN, 12?! this makes no fucking sense. He is Brian Kinney. He literally owns a marketing agency and you’re telling me his best idea to promote would be posters? PLEASE’ and it’s revealed Mikey hired a lawyer ‘HE HIRED A LAWYER?! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS HE DOING AND WHY IS BEN HYPING THAT UP? (mike and ben say the single mom/loving stable home with two fathers line) oooohhhh no they fucking didn’t. I hope they rot in hell for that one. TELL THEM DEBBIE. How did they go from being okay-ish in season 4 to being this trash now?’ ‘Awww Brian is hanging out with Gus! How did she get him to step foot into this apartment? Do Mike and Brian even talk anymore? He looks pretty. Why does everyone always go to Brian to fix their problems? You go talk to Mike’ it just showed Ted as a blonde ‘OH MY GOD. WHAT IS HE WEARING? WHY IS HE BLONDE?! Look at Brian’s smile! Ted just delivered him the best gift ever.’ ‘BLONDIE IS BACK AT THE LOFT! MY BABY IS BACK! and Brian is fucking someone.. okay Blondie, look at your smile. THEY ARE BACK!!’ And we are at scene with Justin in the diner ‘oh baby, who are you lying to? AHH i forgot Ted dyed his hair. Can I just say the most important thing? I’m glad Justin’s hair looks good again. (Ted asks Justin if hed like to slit his throat after Deb offers him his old job) WHY DONT WE GET MORE OF TED AND JUSTIN? They would have a nice friendship’ Emmett is offered his job on the news show ‘gay makeovers? Isnt that what Queer eye is? wait, i still have an episode of that one to watch. I prefer him party planning’

Yes! One thing S5 gives us is the BroTP of Brian and Ted. NGL I wish it was Brian and Emmett, but I’ll take it.

Can Michael stop telling people how to live their lives. Everyone would like to know that Brother Anon. And the way Mikey handles Mel and Linds’ split and JR is the very worst. Like so fucking misogynistic and gross. And yes, when Debbie tells him and Ben off it feels so so good.

Okay okay, I think Brian didn’t realize he had to promote Babylon. It was always the most popular gay club.

Having to pause the episode is so real.

Brian looks pretty. Bless. He’s so gay for Gale/Brian. (And why does everyone want Brian to fix their problems, while simultaneously criticizing him!)

Ted as a blond will always be hideously iconic.

Justin’s hair being back to looking good is definitely a relief. And Ted and Justin would have a nice friendship (Scott and Randy have discussed thinking that their characters would get along and had many reasons why.)

And yeesh. Emmett being on that Queer Eye show… was a great opportunity for the show to address the issues with that first iteration of QE. Also, isn’t that the show your mom watched when she was trying to be supportive of your brother?

[7ven-devils]

A really long overanlysis of minecraft servers.

This will be my only warning, this shit is really long.

I promised this to @ivi-prism 2 weeks ago (hi, i am Svetla) but university said no and then i feel my notes were incomplete so i have to do more research.

So let's talk about anarchism and capitalism. As a future political scientist, really bugs me how the fandom and some content creators (im looking at you techno) misinterpret both theories.

Yeah this will be a overanalysis about the political, social and economic system of two minecraft servers. Why? Cause i like analysis things like this and finally i can solved what is the system of hermitcraft and thats make me happy.

Things to consider:

First im not native english speaker and im lazy so im not often write or talk in english so my typos can make Doc really proud.

Second i don't watch Dsmp i only know things about the server by the animatics, the constant information wich pop up here on tumblr, the crossover fanfics and the tiny vods that youtube insist play when i have activate automatic reproduction.

Third i tried to simplified this much as i can because this analysis i maded talking with my friends (also political scientists) and a former professor, so it got quite technical while i was writing it.

And finally don't take this seriously, I'm not trying to insult anyone, I only started this because the hermitfandom started saying that hermitcraft was capitalist and then everyone started comparing the Dsmp with hermitcraft saying anarchism vs capitalism, that's why the dsmp entered into this analysis.

Guys, seriously chaos isn't anarchism and "sucefully economic" isn't capitalism, even paid with "money" (diamonds in this case) isnt necessary capitalism.

First, mini glossary:

I understand a server like a Society/State (country) with Mr Weber definition. In really vague words a State is anyone that has a territory and has legal control of violence (the laws, no the abuse of authority).

I understand the private property as the hermits bases and/or shops (i suppose only base in dsmp? Idk)

I understand the mass production as the farms and resources.

Capitalism is a economic, politic and social theory, wich it considers private property essential and tends to monopolize the resources 'cause this it also considered private property.

Anarchy means "without government" it has its origin in the Ancient Greece. And Anarchism theory is just a society free from any political authority, but respecting the liberties of the others.

A Failed State is which one lose control of the legal violence, and can't provide the peace, essential human rights and the basics for a normal lifestyle to its people.

I think thats all the bored shit (i hope so). Now the interesting shit.

Why hermitcraft isnt capitalist?

Short answer, their idea of private property is not the same as capitalism has.

Long answer, even if they have their own stuff, they had a really strong sense of community and dont really care if someone take things from them.

We can see this in the beginning of season when Iskall take some mini blocks from Etho and he didn't really care (yeah, iskall "paid" him, but later i will explain this) or the multiple times Grian "borrow" things from Iskall and Mumbo in season 6 or Scar in season 7, the team ZIT constantly take things from each other and i can go on and on with examples, but the point here is this couldn't happen if they had a capitalist society because this would break the "private" part of private property and mass production.

Basically their friendship made so strong their sense of community that they are basically inmune to capitalism, Uncle Marx would be proud of them (not really, but would be funny). So they are communist? Nope, communist don't believe in private property and the hermits does.

But you just said-? I said they dont has the SAME idea of private property as capitalism does. They still have their bases, farms and shops, but for them their private property isnt sacred like in a capitalism system would be.

They're respect each other things because they appreciated the effort and values the time the person puts on their buildings and not only because doesn't belongs to them (and obviously cause theyre frends, but shush, this is a overanalysis, the obvious things doesn't have place here) i mean even for the shenanigans they are really polite and try to cause the least damage possible not because is not of them but because they valued the person.

Basically the famous honor code of hermitcraft.

What about the economic system and the shopping district?

Lets talk about the elephant in the room.

If Hermitcraft isnt a capitalist system, why they have a economic system based in diamonds?

Well, despite the exchange based in money for resources or services is a principal characteristic of capitalism, it isnt exclusive of that theory.

The money is a social consensus, cause barter has becomes obsolete and gold isnt cheap or infinite to use as payment. And basically, this is why we use money on this days (if you want to know the history of money ask to your trusted historian or Wikipedia).

What does this remind us? Yep, diamonds and iou's are a consensus too. When the 1.16 came out some hermits tried to change to netherite as payment and didn't suit, so they ignored it and continued with their current payment system.

And as much as Mr Smith likes to say that this is how the free market (and his stupid invisible hand) works, capitalism needs the monopoly of resources and people who works to pay for those resources.

But in Hermitcraft nobody really controlled the resources, anyone can go and collect their materials or made a farm. They just decided don't do it and go and buy it, because they save the time to go and collect for themselves, in other words they paid for the time.

Various hermits say they saved so much time go and buy the materials instead to collect themself or trade with the villagers (cause theyre the worst and all of us know it) thats why the barge and lookie lookie at my bookie are so profitable.

The shopping district it wasn't a thing before season 4, i dont really sure how it worked before, because i started watch in season six and sadly i have a boring adult life to saw the old seasons, but i assume it works in the same way that the trades the hermits does between them to accord a discount or a collab, and speak directly with the interested hermit or directly take it and pays what's considered it was fair, like iskall did with etho.

Like i said all what's happen in hermitcraft is a consensus, even the shopping district.

So yeah, that isnt a thing that would happen in a capitalism system, probably you would be dead, because "how are you dare to entered to my property", or in the jail, "because thats not yours".

So, what is hermitcraft?

For the surprise from much of you, Hermitcraft has an anarchist system.

What?! But their server is so peaceful, they don't steal from each other, they doesn't griefing, hows that possible?!

Well, the anarchism isn't really a violent political theory, at least in its beginning, actually anarchism is one of the most peaceful theories i studied, thats why i dont really thing it will worked in our society, but work in a server of 24 friends. Its too idealist.

I don't really study all of the thoughts corrents of anarchism because they are a lot. But the one we are interested is one of original thought corrent, The Mutualism, this in contrast with their cousin Communism doesn't believes the private property was something bad and considered like one of the rights from the individual, but different as capitalism because like i said before it wasn't sacred and communal things will exist to help others to start or recover.

Proudhon, one of it intellectuals, considered not paid for the work of the other it was a form to violate their liberties and feel horrofied with Marx when he said we have to abolish the private property.

The mutualists believes that each person should possess a means of production, either individually or collectively, and the products obtained would be trade in the market for the amount equivalent of their work.

This sound familiar, isnt it? Hermitcraft works in this way.

The thing with anarchism is they don't believes in a government over the people. And the hermits doesn't have one, yeah there's Scar being the mayor, but he isnt have a power over the rest and only is in charge of the "cowmercial district" even aquatown isn't part of his jurisdiction, his function is more of organization, like when we put a friend in charge to organizing part of a roadtrip.

It's the same with Xisuma figure, we all put him in a position of the admin of hermitcraft, but the truth is he isnt the only one with admin commands (but apparently some or all of them losed their admin status, at least in one of the last tango's streams, he hasnt it anymore) and various hermits said that he is more like an ambassador of them in the legal things of the server.

The hermits take all of they decisions in group and in the majority of things all of them needs to be agreed with the decision or they simple doesn't do it. And this is a characteristic of the mutualism because for them anyone are over the other.

And if you aren't already bored at this point and you put attention to what i wrote of the concept of private property in the mutualism, you would see it is practically the way hermitcraft works. They make their bases and farms, recolect resources and sell what they don't will use, buy mostly to save time and paid for the price what they considered fair. Yeah i know sometimes they do some farm specifically for one shop, but this is more "yeah, this is my thing" (Tango and Iron; Ren and wood) or a division of activities "if you do that, i do this".

The perfect utopia.

What about the Dsmp?

If you do it to here, congratulations.

So what about the Dsmp, i entered here because i want to read of them and the only thing i read was about hermitcraft.

Well, the Dsmp only entered in the equation because much of you said they were an anarchist server, but i see it more like a "failed state" and when i was talked with an exprofessor he agreed with me.

I know the term of failed state is controversial and is almost obsolete, but is the best way to describe the server and stop said it is anarchist.

So why failed state and not an anarchist state? Because they have a government (or apparently multiples) a failed one, but is there, if it were an anarchist server wouldn't have one.

Usually the failed states are known for being violent and volatile places in which ones their governments can't provides the basics to their people to live, normally are places with ethnics conflicts, civil wars, authoritarian governments or states in wars. The most common examples are Haití, Somalia or Syria.

And i am sure you can see the similarities with the Dsmp, so yeah, theyre chaotic but not anarchist.

The wars ruined the stability from the server, have a multiple sides and a megalomaniac for admin, but the goverment still there and they are fighting for the power wich wouldn't happen if the server were anarchist because anarchism don't believe the power should be possess for someone.

The server simply is failed state wich struggles under a violent fight for power.

--------------------------------------------------

If you read this far, you're a hero and had my gratitude for read my useless thoughts. Maybe some day i do it other overanalysis of this servers. I hope you enjoyed and dont confused so much.

Thanks for read.

And if there are some angry economist with me for "misrepresent" the capitalist i am completely open to a debate, my only condition is it would be in chilean spanish ;)

[hikari-writes]

『Haikyuu!!』

Fluff Oneshot

Winter Wonderland Collab

❝ A Very Special Christmas Eve ❞

Pairing: Iwaizumi Hajime

Warning: None, just some fluff, and mention of one death, and iwa being the husband material he is

Genre: F L O O F

Words: 2.6k

Notes:

- F!Reader

A/N: heres my piece for the winter wonderland collab!! Hope yall enjoy this one!!

Winter Wonderland Masterlist

Your legs swing from side to side as you snuggle closer to the pillow in your arms. The black screened TV stares back at your bored eyes lifelessly, as if expecting you to turn it on. You heave another heavy sigh when you receive a text notification from Hajime. You open the message and a wry smile naturally comes to your lip when you see your husband’s messages.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N…. I dont think i can make it to movie night tonight,,, I still have so many work to do at the office”

You correct your position on the couch before facing your phone again and replying to Hajime’s messages. 

“It’s okay hub :) dont work too hard now <3”

You close your phone and go back to staring around your empty living room. How many times has this been already, you thought to yourself. 

Ever since Hajime got promoted at his workplace, he has been busier than ever. Of course you're happy for him and you appreciate him doing so much to provide for you both but you can't help but to feel lonely sometimes.

Before his promotion, it's already been a tradition for the two of you to have a movie night together so you can relax and spend some quality time as a married couple.

Even still, he does a lot of things to make it up to you, like making you breakfast early in the morning before you wake up, kissing your forehead and cheeks whenever he gets home after work and a lot more. Just to show his affection and love for you even though he's constantly busy and swamped with works.

You check your phone again to see a new message from Hajime. He tells you that you can go to sleep first, since he'll probably be back at a later time. As you type out your reply for him, you can't help but notice the date shown on top of your phone screen.

It's nearing Christmas. Precisely one week from today. You think back on the memories you shared with Hajime from your previous years of spending Christmas Eve with him. 

Those moments are your favourite memories with Hajime of them all. It feels so nice to enjoy a meaningful holiday together with someone you love. Your smile fades as you remember back on how busy Hajime has been.

“Maybe we can't celebrate Christmas Eve together this year….”

You can't help but to feel a little bit disappointed at that realization, but you tried to stay positive...for Hajime's sake. You don't want to burden him by asking him to leave his work early just because you wanted to spend some more time with him. 

“What?? You don't think Iwa-ch--- I mean, Hajime-kun can be home for Christmas Eve because he'd be busy with his work??”

You silently sip your bubble tea as you stare at Oikawa's shocked face through the screen of your computer. After fiddling with the straw a bit, you nod your head at his question. 

“Y/N-chan, that's ridiculous! No matter how busy he may be, he can't possibly miss spending an important holiday like that with you.”

“I don't know, Oikawa….He's been busy these past few days. And I honestly won't be surprised if he's going to be busy again until Christmas Eve.”

You let out a heavy sigh and Oikawa gives a look of sympathy at you. 

You slump back into your chair and take another sip of your drink until there's nothing left in the cup, filling the empty silence between you two. There is a faint sound of people talking in a foreign language from Oikawa's side of the screen.

“I'm not trying to be ungrateful or anything since I know he's working hard for the both of us but….”

You bring your knees from under the table and hug it closer to your face, covering your entire face. 

“I just...I don't know if I can handle being alone for Christmas Eve without Hajime.”

You mumble those words through your hidden face, not really caring if Oikawa heard that or not but from the way his soft voice calls out your name, you assume he did. 

You hide your pained face in your knees for a lot longer, not noticing the clicking sound coming from behind you. Not until you hear Oikawa calling out your husband's name in a panic do you finally lift your head from the safe spot of your knees.

You stare at Hajime who's still in his suit. He came back rather early today. 

Hajime furrows his eyebrows at Oikawa when seeing how you were just hiding your face in your knees a few moments ago. 

“Hey, Shittykawa. You weren't trying to make Y/N cry were you?”

The sharp tone of his voice sends a chill down Oikawa's spine and he quickly laughs it off with a smile.

“Hajime-kun, that's mean!! I would never do that to my best friend's wife!”

Hajime puts a hand around your shoulder and lowers his face a bit to match the level of your computer screen before continuing to bicker again with Oikawa. 

The scene seems nostalgic to you, bringing your memories again to the times you were in high school. You can't help but to smile softly at them, enjoying their bickering a bit more before deciding that it's getting late and you and Hajime best return to bed by now.

After you close your computer, you turn to Hajime and he immediately plants a kiss on top of your forehead as he always does whenever he comes back. 

“You're home early today.”

You comment while wrapping your arms around his neck, resting your head on his chest and taking in the soft beating of his heartbeats.

“Yeah, I finished my work early today.”

He heaves a weary sigh as he replies to you, and you plant another kiss on the bridge of his nose before grinning. 

“Well, I'm glad I could snuggle with you tonight while we're sleeping then.”

You both share a kiss before going off to do your night routine. 

After you're done with your night routines, you climb onto your bed and snuggle into your soft pillow before pulling out your phone to kill some time while waiting for Hajime to finish his shower. 

When you feel a big hand being placed on top of your shoulder, you close your phone and turn back to face Hajime with a soft smile. 

“So what were you talking with Oikawa about?”

Hajime starts as the both of you get under the duvet. 

“Just catching up and asking him how he's been. He seems to be pretty happy there. Oh, and, it seems that he's still having a hard time trying to not call you Iwa-chan.”

You giggle a bit when remembering back how Oikawa kept referring to Hajime as Iwa-chan like he used to in high school while the both of you were in a video call just now. Now that you're also an “Iwaizumi”, he can't really use the nickname “Iwa-chan” for Hajime anymore. 

Hajime hums a bit before nodding.

“Can't say I'm surprised there.”

He pulls you into a hug and you close the distance between you two by snuggling into his chest. You could smell the fresh scent of the body soap he used. It was calming and very like him. 

“Something’s bothering you, isn’t it?”

The sudden question almost makes you flinch in his arms. You can’t afford to let him know now but you can’t bring yourself to cover it up and lie to him either. Especially because of how sharp and attentive he can be towards you. 

“Yeah… a bit. I was just wondering about that coworker I told you about before.”

Hajime looks down at you and seems thoughtful for a moment.

“You’re still worried about how she would cope with her husband’s death?”

You nod in his chest and tighten your arms around his sturdy build.

Technically, it’s not a lie. You were extremely concerned and worried about your coworker who recently just lost her husband. You can’t help but think, if you were in her place, how would you handle it.

“Losing someone as important as your partner is certainly something that’s hard to cope with. But, knowing that now they’re in a better place up there, watching over you and wanting you to go through life, full of smiles...I think that just makes you feel a lot better. You might not be able to be together now, but one day, you will reunite and you’ll have an eternal span of time to be together.”

You look up at Hajime who’s stroking your hair softly. You didn’t expect him to say all that. Those words just made your heart clench more and you pull on his shirt to lower his face and give him a kiss on his lips. 

“Hajime you’re more destructive than I originally thought....”

You bury your face in his chest again, hiding your steaming face and leaving your husband confused.

Days passed and it’s finally Christmas Eve. Many people are in the shopping district, buying the necessities for their home decor and ingredients for cooking. As always, you had bought everything beforehand so as to avoid the gathering crowd.

It’s nearing evening and you can see many young couples around, sitting together and gazing at the decorations in the shopping district. You can’t help but to look at them with nostalgia. It reminded you so much of your younger days with Hajime.

You shake the thought from your head and continue walking away. You chose to take a detour after you’re done with work today, just so you could take a look at the busy shopping district. Since it’s Christmas Eve today, you thought that you’ll start decorating your house when you get back home.

“Hajime’s probably gonna be busy today and tomorrow too so I can take my time a bit,” you mumble to yourself and continue making your way through the district.

Moments after you said that, you received a text message from Hajime that weighs upon your heart like a heavy rock.

”Babe, I’m so sorry I can’t make it home before 12…. Seems like we’ll miss spending time together for this year’s Christmas Eve. Im so sorry again, i know how much you’ve been looking forward to Christmas Eve every year but the work just keep on piling up. And for Christmas tomorrow too...I’m so sorry.”

You thought that maybe if he can’t make it for Christmas Eve, you would have had time to spend on Christmas the next day. You have to accept the fact that this year, there’s just no other way other than to spend it alone and being wrapped up in your blanket. You honestly much prefer Hajime’s strong arms to wrap you up, though.

Christmas Eve is considered to be one of the most popular days to celebrate as a couple and you truly enjoyed spending it with Hajime every year. That’s why you value the celebration so much and you honestly don’t want to celebrate it with anyone else other than him.

Although your main concern right now is more towards the fact that he’s been working too much lately. You’re definitely worried about his health more than anything right now.

“It’s really okay bb! Im grown up now and i know we cant celebrate Christmas eve together every year :) Im just worried that youve been working too much and havent had much rest lately :(( make sure to take care of yourself u hear me ??!”

You see him replying with a promise that he will, and that somehow put you at ease. You tell him you'll reach home soon and send a last 'I love you' message before turning off your phone and picking up your pace.

“I’m home….”

You open the lock and step inside the empty and dark house. 

But something feels wrong.

At the center of the living room, you can make out several colourful light bulbs hanging from a Christmas tree.

“Huh….that’s weird. I didn’t remember putting anything there….”

In fact, you haven't even started decorating yet. It makes you wonder if you have decorated the living room while you were asleep.

“But I'm pretty sure it was empty around here before I left for work….”

You look around your house once more and sure enough, it's filled to the brim with Christmas decoration. Your heart flutters at the sight, completely disregarding the odd fact that the house has already been decorated even though you don't remember doing so.

All of a sudden, you feel a pair of strong arms around your waist, pulling you closer before all the lights in the house are turned on. 

“Merry Christmas, Y/N.”

The soft voice of Hajime coming from behind startled you a bit, but that doesn't stop the tears that're welling up in your eyes.

“Hajime?! But-- I thought that--”

When you feel his grip around you loosens, you turn around to face him, not really realizing the tears that are threatening to fall down your eyes.

“Surprise?”

He says with a shrug and a grin before embracing you once again. You bury your face in his chest and before you know it, you're already starting to let the tears and a few hiccups out.

Hearing you crying, Hajime quickly releases you with his eyes wide, inspecting your face while you try to hide it in your hands.

“Y/N, what's wrong?”

You can hear his panicked voice calling for you and your hiccups slowly turn into a soft laughter.

“S-sorry...it's just, I really wasn't expecting this and…..All this time I've just felt so lonely thinking that you won't be able to spend Christmas with me but… but this surprise really caught me off guard and my tears just started...”

You try to explain through your tear stained face with a smile. Hearing that explanation, Hajime releases a relieved sigh and cups your cheek in his hands before moving it closer to plant a soft kiss on your lips. 

“Sorry I made you feel that way, honey.”

You shake your head and give him another kiss on the lips. You both stare at each other for a moment before letting out a soft giggle. 

As he leads you to the dining room, he explains to you how he's been busy working overnight the days before so that he can get an early leave for Christmas Eve. He wants to make a surprise Christmas celebration with you so he took it upon himself to decorate and cook all the food before you came back home from work. 

“Hajime, I really appreciate you doing this for me….”

You stroke his face and bring it closer but all of a sudden you flick your fingers to his forehead, thankfully not too hard so your fingers aren't too damaged from the hit. 

“But what did I tell you about working too hard, hmmm?? You better be getting enough rest after this or else!”

Your husband just looks at you with a deadpan expression before heaving a small sigh. 

“It's okay, I don't have to go to work tomorrow so I plan to rest anyway.”

He sneaks in another kiss, completely catching you off guard and almost making you forgive him right away if not thanks to your strong wife's willpower.

“Oh but...tomorrow's Christmas so….”

You look at him again and a smile automatically graces your lips in a matter of seconds. 

“We get to spend the whole day together on Christmas then.”

You hum those words out, and skip your way into the dining room with a smiling Hajime following closely behind you. 

“Yeah, I'm looking forward to it.”

That night, the Iwaizumi household is filled with laughter as they dine and chat together, spending their time and valuing each other's company as a happy married couple.

The End

Gen. Taglist: @vventiis @laylahoran @whootwhoot @mirakeul @kiyorei @instantmiya-main @ourvisty @tamaguchi @cadenceh2o @hidehaskak @yamagucji @ynainnit @tsukisemi @that-chick212 @bakuhoetoedoroki @alysken [Join my taglist here!]

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[babiemingoo]

hello lomls

I bet you’re all sick of all these random text blocks I always post lol but I felt like this specific statement? thought? was something that i’ve wanted to share for a while but I kept telling myself that if I just pushed on I wouldn’t have to but ~obviously~ this is not the case. so I shall just lay it all out there with all my thoughts regarding this blog and more specifically, enmity.  this ended up being super long so I apologize in advance. i’ll put it under the cut for all of you.

to put it frankly, there is a specific reason as to why I haven’t written or posted enmity, or anything, in months. brotherhood/enmity used to be my proudest work and it was the thing I enjoyed posting the most, however with where the story is at right now I just have 0 inspiration for it (even though I have the entire story planned already) and i’m more than aware that 90% of people who visit my blog are only here for enmity. and that’s okay! but having so much pressure on me to provide this one story that I really can’t find the motivation for me to write, has turned into me literally getting anxiety whenever I come onto tumblr. i’m sure it’ll sound stupid to some of you but just thinking about enmity takes a toll on my mental health and I avoid it at all costs, which is a big reason as to why I haven’t posted it and have avoided this blog for so long. in addition to that, i’ve still been writing here and there. I have things that of course I would love to post and share. but i’m sure at this point if I were to post something that wasn’t enmity, someone would reply or send an ask like “where’s enmity?” and I get it!!! it’s what makes my blog (somewhat lol) relevant and it’s what people love and I am so so so so so grateful for that. but even without me posting anything else, people have still sent messages and asks complaining about me not posting enmity (as well as really nice ones, dont worry I see you and I appreciate all the sweet words! <3), and I don’t want to take my time writing something that I love just to get feedback that asks about something that makes me hate this blog. so, that’s why I haven’t posted anything; because I know that someone will say something about it not being enmity, and it’d really hurt me after all the time i’ve spent dedicated to another piece of writing. of course, with addition to the toll this takes on me, I have other things going on at home. I personally am not one to share things going on in my personal life on the internet, so i’m going to be somewhat vague, but this is my last semester of college so school is more important to me now than ever. i also now have three jobs to try and stay afloat with the cutbacks the pandemic has caused, and i’m getting kicked out of my apartment in a couple of months. it’s a lot going on and me getting stressed out over a blog isn’t something that I can really be doing right now. so, now it really comes down to wtf am I gonna do with this blog. obviously i’ve been leaving it to sit for a while, hoping that once everything in my life settles down I can come back here because I really do love all of you and sharing my writing here with you. but still, every day someone finds brotherhood and enmity and starts to read, and even though I am SO grateful that people still somehow find this fic of mine and read and love it, I feel so so so horrible because they read for hours and then come to find out that I never finished it. I don’t want to lead people into dead ends anymore because I know the feeling of wanting to know the end of something and it sucks. tl;dr - I can’t handle the pressure of writing enmity anymore. a lot of stuff is going on in my life and adding that on isn’t helping. but I know that it would suck to post things I write and have people be disappointed that it’s not enmity. furthermore, people are still finding enmity and I feel horrible that it’s not finished. so, I really only have three options I can think of: 1. I delete this entire blog. this is what i’m leaning towards right now, because then everything gets erased and no one else has anymore expectations that I can’t live up to. people no longer will find enmity and be disappointed with the fact that it isn’t done. in my opinion this is the best option. 2. I keep the blog, but delete brotherhood and enmity. i’m sure this isn’t ideal either lol but the root of me avoiding this blog really is enmity. so, if it’s gone, maybe I could be just a tad bit more active here, or at least look forward to coming back once my life is more put together.  3. I keep doing what I’ve been doing and everyone just sits around and hopes that maybe i’ll come back? of course I want to come back and had every intention to do so, but with enmity up I can’t guarantee it, and I would still feel like shit knowing that people are waiting. so, personally this is my least favorite option because I feel like it gives you guys the short end of the stick, but technically it’s still an option. i’m so sorry that this got so long, but this is a lot that i’ve been feeling for a long long time and I don’t want to keep everyone in the dark anymore. honestly I feel horrible for how far I allowed this to go. but I hope you all understand that there were never any bad intentions and again i’m so sorry for being annoying. I appreciate you guys so much for all the love i’ve gotten on this blog and the patience you’ve shown me. I love you all so so so so so much.

[altcvnningham]

1, 3, 5, 15, 18 and 20 😳😳😳😳

thank you for the ask!!! (also superior url omg 👁👄👁🤲🏻)

also my answers here are suuuuper long, because i’m a rambling idiot who’s way too involved in my OC’s. so uhhhh sorry in advance,,,,,

1. what radio station(s) do you listen to?

Vana’s a Samurai stan. She wishes she wasn’t. But, y’know, Morro Rock it is. Once upon a time when she was an even angrier teen, though, she’d listen to shit just like Ritual FM.

(My music taste is all over the place, and though blues is technically my fav bc i love old music, i never listen to it in 2077. So I switch between Body Heat, the Dirge, Vexelstrom for like 2 songs, and ofc, Morro Rock. But of all stations, there’s at least one song that i HATE so I can never stick to one for a whole ride sknsksjsjs)

i think i got the names right?? Idk yall i dont have it in front of me ndndndndhjs

3. how did you feel about Johnny that first night in the apartment, and how does it differ from what you feel now after everything?

so i’m gonna cut a read-more here because i decided to just lore dump Vana x Johnny here so uhhhhhh rip also //SPOILERS//

Vana is an extremely, seriously private, guarded person. Before Johnny, Panam, Kerry- Jackie was the only person she’d ever truly let near her, to get to know her. So obviously waking up to someone else living inside her fucking head was one of the worst things that’s ever happened to her. Her past is also something she’s not particularly proud of, so Johnny getting to witness all that is traumatising. Getting Johnny out of her head was priority number one, even if digging the chip out would kill her.

But after getting fucked over by the VBs, and both of them thinking she was gonna die, Johnny takes her to that abandoned hotel in Pacifica- it’s the first time he’s given her even a sliver of kindness, and the first time she’s ever openly expressed her fears to him, even if he could already sense them before. Oaths and promises are something she holds to incredibly high importance, so obviously when Johnny gives her his dog-tags, ‘proof of my promise’, she never, ever lets them go, never takes them off. (she still doesn’t. they keep her grounded. holding them to calm herself has become a reflex, for whatever reason.)

Everything just seemed to slowly change after that. For two people who hate vulnerability, it’s the only thing that helped them actually see each other. As the Relic continues to take over, they both understand each other more, feel each other more- and eventually it becomes hard to discern where Vana ends and Johnny begins. In cliché Johnny x V fashion like yeah duh it goes further,,,, cockwhore!Vana,,,,,, but with that they also start to become extremely possessive and jealous over one another- Johnny immediately on the defensive about whoever comes close to her, Vana selfishly hiding and keeping Johnny’s existence to herself, even if it slows the hunt for a remedy to the chip- to the point of seriously toxic co-dependency. It’s full of volatile ups-and-downs, fights and make-ups, and Vana almost comes to like the fact that she never has to explain nor hide what thoughts and feelings pass through her mind, no matter how dark or vulnerable. She prefers most things to remain unsaid, but values the fact that they both have a clear, transparent understanding of each other regardless.

But there's also... softer moments. When Johnny puts aside his ego for once, he learns to like the quiet that Vana does, brief as it can be sometimes. He'll sort of just... stay around the room, even if just to procrastinate retreating back into her head, because they realise they like each other's silent, wordless company. He'll wake her up from nightmares, hold her neck and kiss her back to sleep, or until the sun comes up, if she can't. It's all tender things they often pretend doesn't even happen, out of pride, I think, but they both know deep down that those are really the best parts.

Comes to a place where she suddenly hits a wall, and realises, I don’t want him to leave.

She’s never the same again after Mikoshi.

(But uhh anyway fuck V I’m horny on main for Keanu so i was here for the whole riiiiiide yeeeeeee)

5. how do your loved ones (LI, found family, etc) feel about you being a merc? or if you’ve given up the life now that everything’s finished, what was their reaction?

Vana grew up in a rich corp family, and after all the shit she’s endured just to appease her father, don’t think anyone could hate corps more than she does (some details of her past here!!) So when Arasaka kicks her out and Jackie finally convinces her to start merc work, it’s amazing how quickly she slips into the role, almost like she was made for it- an anonymous face within the city, free to roam and drift as she wants, relying on herself and herself only.

Vana works quickly and quietly enough (though not at all with clean hands), relying on stealth and netrunning, so she doesn’t cause too much of a noise that’d have her loved ones (rare as they are) all too concerned. Judy isn’t scared Vana’d be caught in gunfire, because when Vana works, her targets rarely know she’s even there. She’s smart, cunning. Panam appreciates that these skills have helped her out, so she can’t complain. River- who is unfortunately more fond of Vana than she is of him, given that she’s not too comfortable at accepting affection- isn’t too happy about the life she leads, but hey, it’s her skills as a merc and as one of NC’s most adept netrunners that he even stood a chance of finding Randy as quick as he did, so he feels indebted to her for that. Kerry thinks it’s fuckin awesome that she gets to do as she wants and provides for herself, bestieeees

Given she isn’t all that close with many people- keeping her distance and all- the only people who seriously worry about her are folks like Vik, Misty, and Mama Welles, especially the latter two, who knew how much Jackie meant to her, and how easily she cracks under the weight of grief. The only thing, really, that concerns everybody around her, is how insatiable her bloodlust becomes, and how much she'd throw away just to try and quell it.

Johnny’s just in it for the ride. Rather she work for herself than a filthy corp, anyway.

After Mikoshi, losing Johnny, making it to the major leagues, she fuckin... just doesn't care anymore. She hates the big glass house that was practically forced onto her (reminds her too much of her stifling corp childhood), she hates that she has 20 cars that clog up her garage and not just her trusty red Yaiba Kusanagi, hates that folks keep giving her all this shiny golden shit that she doesn't want, like any of it's worth a damn. Since then she's hardly in one place- never at home if she can help it, and either wanders aimlessly around the streets and crashes over at Kerry's to sleep through grief. It isn't the merc life she wants to leave, but major leagues turned out to be a glittering pile of dogshit she wants no part in. She only really stays there because Jackie would've wanted it.

(i’m a lazy bitch like i don’t wanna be a merc. i wanna be one of those cute npc’s with the glowy earrings and bunny backpacks and skimpy plastic skirts, who picks up noodles on the way home to go watch watson whore. in my ideal life i am NOT the main character snnsmsnsks)

15. which NPC is your bff?

Kerry. Kerry is Vana’s ride or die. No fucking questions asked. Kerry’s the only person (besides Johnny, i guess) as close to her as Jackie was. He’s really the only person that ever gets her to smile, like really, stupidly, goofily smile, and despite being almost complete opposites, they just understand each other so well. Whenever they need something, they're the first person they'll call. Happens so often that just as Vana sifts through her contacts to find his, Kerry's already calling for her first. They're practically joint at the hip.

They both live loud, fast lives, but also know how to make time for silence and introspection, something they both need to stay grounded. Vana doesn't buy into his zen-wellness-yoga crap, but sure, she tries copying a couple moves while he's doing it on a lazy afternoon, before scoffing how this is fuckin' dumb and retreats back to the couch. Also, as much as she hates being reminded of the wealth that came with her corpo upbringing, she loves using up all his expensive products, and tends to klep a bottle of his shampoo when she runs out. Cute how she thinks he doesn't notice.

After what happened in Mikoshi, she practically lives at Kerry's place, just dozing away miserably as he lounges by the pool, or curl up on the couch to mindlessly watch his old Samurai tapes (he doesn't like it much, but if it helps her through whatever shit she's going through, he's not gonna take that away from her). On better days, when she actually pulls herself out of bed, he teaches her to play guitar, slipping in a couple tricks Johnny taught him. Funnily enough, the whole thing helps him find some closure too.

( me,, I need a girl like Panam in my life to endorse all of my stupid ideas )

18. what’s your dream cyberware (either something that was shown in lore that wasn’t available in game or mental creation of your own)?

I don’t have access to the tabletop lore stuff rn so i’m gonna pull this out my ass jsjsns

Anything that helps Vana become more deadly at stealth and netrunning. The most eddies she’s ever blown are on increasingly powerful cyberdecks, cooling systems, netrunning gear she can comfortably slip on under a jacket and boots- she likes convenience and functionality, but she needs it to be comfortable, too. She’d fucking kill for anything that lets her scale silently up walls and across ceilings, though- like a spider- and anything that lets her get her hands reeeeal bloody, but quietly. Guess that’s just called a knife, though.

(Me?? Fuck uhhh man i just want synth-skin that looks normal but also shimmers all pink n cute. Literally wanna be an edward cullen sparkly lookin mf. Also, i’m sorry but scanning shit w Kiroshi’s are so dope that’s literally all i want?? Idk i’m boring and mantis blades freak me out uhh)

20. is there anyone you’re crushing on that’s unavailable? (yes this is the “what romance option(s) are you foaming at the mouth for” question)

Answered here :)

(And i’ll say it again, PLACIIIIIIIDE,)

[aerynwrites]

Right Where we Belong

Markus x Reader

Requested?: yes! By @jaylahz (I AM SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG I REALLY HOPE YOU ENJOY IT PLEASE DONT HATE ME)

Warnings: cursing, fluff?, I think that’s it.

Authors note: well as you can tell I’m back, for now at least haha. I had the sudden urge to write so I’m going to fill this request and then my last other one and then I have some other ideas in my head for other works. Hopefully you all enjoy this, and I apologize for any spelling or grammatical errors. I wrote this on my phone while I’m on vacation so...sorry lol.

——————-

Ever since androids had been gaining independence you had been secretly helping them in any way you could. But mostly you infiltrated cyber life warehouses and stole spare parts and blue blood.

You has never met any of the androids, you liked to keep your deeds out of the spot light. So, you chose to simply leave the bags of supplies on the main deck of Jericho each week. You felt like a vigilante of some sorts.

You smiled to yourself, you were finally making a difference in the world, even if it wasn’t good difference in the laws eyes. Your smile fell however as you heard a loud clang come from behind you. You were currently raiding another warehouse, so you quickly slid the container closed and ducked behind it as you heard soft voices speaking.

A worried male voice spoke up, “are you sure we can pull this off?” It asked.

“Yes,” a more confident and oddly familiar voice answered, “I’m sure we can do this. We have too. There are too many of us injured in Jericho to not come back with these supplies. The mystery delivers aren’t enough to keep us going anymore.”

Your eyes widened in shock, ‘They’re from Jericho?’ You wondered silently.

You shifted your weight anxiously as you heard them come closer, what should you do? Risk revealing yourself and possibly put yourself in danger or continue hiding and risk discovery. You were busy contemplating your discount you didn’t realize one of the androids had come around the side of the container.

You locked eyes for a moment, taking in the mans appearence. He was a standard house keeping android, the model with blonde hair and blue eyes. You had seen his model in your mother’s house a few months ago.

You slowly put your hands up as a sign of peace and open your mouth so peak but the android beat you to it.

“Markus!” He shouted in a whisper, “Markus, it’s a Human they know we’re here! Come quick!” He looked quickly to the direction he can from shouting for his friend.

“Shit” you cursed, as you quickly pulled up your hood and tightened your backpack straps.

You quickly jumped up and pulled yourself skillfully on the the top of the container, just in time to see another android run onto the scene. You noticed instantly that you recognized him and your eyes widened as they met his. The same recognition didn’t shine in his eyes, probably from the hood you were wearing. You quickly pulled pulling your scarf over your face and turned to sprint the other way.

“Don’t let her get away!” Markus commanded.

You ran nimbly from container to container, skillfully leaping over obstacles before finally jumping to the ground below you, rolling to soften the blow. You quickly stood once more and took off again, knowing the route to go to avoid guards, but your heart lept into your throat as you heard a set of footsteps quickly gaining on you. You huffed in frustration but pushed yourself harder as you ran towards the exit of the building and shoved the door open.

You heard a soft grunt as the door presumably hit your pursuer, hopefully slowing them down. You continued to run in the direction of Jericho, slipping through ally ways sliding over cars and leaping barriers. Your shadow not far behind you until you saw a way to possibly lose him.

It was risky, but he couldn’t find out that you were the secret provider. You momentarily thought back to the day you finally bumped into him in the park. A few weeks after he had been taken by the police for what happened at your grandfather Carl’s house.

———-

“Markus! Oh my god I found you!” You exclaimed, bringing the android you loved into a right embrace.

Markus shook his head as he pushed you off of him hesitantly, “you need to leave (Y/N), it’s not safe here with me.”

You looked at him quizzically, “what do you mean? Is there something wrong?”

He quickly shook his head and lowered his voice, “there’s a revolution happening. A big one,” he stated seriously, “ and you don’t need to get involved. It’s dangerous. You can’t be fixed like I can. I won’t put you in harms way because of what I believe in.”

You opened your mouth to speak but Before you could respond he swiftly knocked your feet from under you, leaving you breathless on the ground. He muttered an apology and a promise to return before he disappeared into the streets.

——-

You shook your head, as if trying to shake the memory from your mind. Soon after your encounter you had found the location of Jericho and decided to help anyways. Even if Markus didn’t want you too.

You focused your attention back on your escape route as you saw in come into view. You knew Markus had gained on you considerably so this had to work. You ran down the sidewalk, dodging pedestrians before making and sudden left turn into an alleyway. You heard Markus stumble over his feet at the sudden route change, and knew it would buy you a few more seconds. You leapt up into a nearby dumpster before jumping and latching onto the ladder of a fire escape. You hastily climbed the ladder to the grated platform above. You crouched and started unlatching the ladder from the platform, but before you could get the second latch undone a large hand grasped your wrist. You looked up and your eyes met his. He paused momentarily as recognition flashed through his eyes.

His moment of hesitation gave you he window you needed.

“Sorry for this.” You mumbled as you pulled the lathed open.

A surprised sound left Markus mouth as the ladder released from the platform and he plummeted to the ground below. You looked down as he slowly got to his feet, before turning around and continuing your route to Jericho.

———

You struggled to catch your breath as you finally reached the bridge of the Jericho ship. You never had to run that hard for that long before, it was usually just a simple walk or taxi ride to the ship. So you were worn out. You dropped the large backpack to the ground and dug around in your pockets for your note pad and pencil. You still had a delivery to finish and then you were going home and take a much needed nap. You were about to start writting the note when a familiar hand once again grabbed your wrist.

You didn’t fight this time however. You just sighed in defeat as Markus turned you to face him. Your eyes met his as he slowly pulled you hood down and tugged the scar from your face. A look of disappointment crossed his face as he sighed releasing your arm.

You spoke up, “in my defense, I didn’t technically get involved.” You tried to defend.

Markus shook his head but a small smile made its way into his face anyway.

“I should’ve known you weren’t going to listen to me. You never did,” He chuckled.

A smile broke out onto your face and tears gathered in your eyes. You pulled him into a hug, relishing in everything that was Markus. Everything you had missed over the last month.

“I missed you so much,” you confessed.

He pulled you tighter to him as he kissed the top of your head, “I missed you more.”

You giggled quietly as you pulled away from him, wiping the tears that fell from our eyes. You looked at him momentarily before punching him in his shoulder.

He feigned hurt, “Ow!” He laughed, “what Was that for?”

You rolled your eyes, “That, was for leaving me behind and thinking I couldn’t handle myself enough to help you, you jerk!”

His eyes widened in shock, “well, if I had know you could do what you did back there,” he gestured vaguely behind him, “then I wouldn’t have told you to stay away!” He Jokes.

You laugh loudly as you loop your arm through his as he guides you into the ship for the first time.

“Where did you learn to do that?” He asks.

You tap your finger on your chin pretending to think, “I don’t recall,” you say looking up at him playfully, “and even if I did I wouldn’t tell you. A girls gotta have some secrets you know.”

Markus rolls his eyes as he pulled you closer to his side. Finally happy to have you back where you belong.

Right by his side.

[bakedpieceofchicken]

5am long personal vent

dont interact with this

note: this post mentions endeavor a lot.

context (very important!): I pretty much binge-read an entire tumblr user’s meta posts and I found them interesting and very informative. 

I also read through their salt tag and now I’m compelled to gather my thoughts together considering the literal title I’ve held for months now is “Hawks is a lov member already”. I’m extremely socially awkward, even on this online platform, so I’m not going to mention the aforementioned tumblr user’s name because I’m too anxiety-ridden to try to contact them. This is in no way shape or form an attack on the person’s opinions nor their character. It’s me... rambling about my thoughts about their opinions at 4 am. 

Is it defending myself? Well, not really, because I don’t feel personally attacked. Just because we have a difference of opinion doesn’t mean we have to resort to attacking each other. I found their opinions thought-provoking and wanted to pick my own brain... I picked this time purposely so nobody would see this post :eyes: so like uhm yeah

note 2: “you” refers to unnamed tumblr user. sorry about weird point of view...

anyways let’s get into the meat 

villain hawks

yay or... nay...?

Well, in fanon it would be such a fun idea to play around with. Personally I think there’s potential for League of Villain interactions with Hawks. I would LOVE to see Hawks interacting with the other pro heroes, but the only pro-to-pro interaction we get with Hawks is between Hawks and Endeavor. Because the atmosphere between the pro-heroes feels... disconnected.

Now, hear me out.

Let’s contrast it with the idealized version of hero society provided in future fics. Or hell, comparing the top ten pro heroes to Class 1-A itself. We want to think all the heroes are friendly with each other and have some sort of camaraderie with each other

But Horikoshi doesn’t present it like that. 

The closest thing to that we get is Endeavor and Hawks. Other than that, the atmosphere between hawks and the other heroes seem more strained or tense (the whole miruko hawks thing is fanon). And even then, it’s... well... Endeavor and Hawks don’t truly know each other. Hawks only knows the public perception and image of Endeavor, which is the only thing he’s been given while Endeavor doesn’t truly knows Hawks either. I’m not saying the interactions are fake, but... would Hawks be acting the way he was if he knew about Endeavor’s past?

No. I don’t have any predictor to how differently Hawks would act, but I definitely sense there’d be a lot of disappointment and loss of respect for the man he was rooting for. To what extent? Would Hawks just be in complete disbelief? Or would he react with immediate anger? There are parallels to Hawks and Todoroki Rei--both were picked from the crowd and had their lives controlled because of their “value” determined by Endeavor/The Hero Commission respectively.

But honestly from an objective standpoint, I have nothing to go off of other than the fact that Hawks deeply respects and idolizes Endeavor the most out of anyone in the manga we’ve seen and the fallout of that would be of an equally shattering magnitude...

Ahh i went off on a tangent. the point is... do we really know Hawks? Does Hawks ever get a chance to just.. be himself? Maybe we see a bit of that shine when he’s alone with Endeavor, but as we saw clearly in chapter 186 he puts on a care-free facade for his fans. But in reality... he’s always working because he’s one of the hero commission’s greatest assets. 

and... here’s where our opinions clash. I truly, in the depths of my heart, believe that Hawks is building a reality where heroes have more free time comes from a more selfish desire for himself. Don’t get me wrong--I don’t want to disservice what Hawks has done for society. But also it feels like he’s the type who overworks himself because he feels moral obligation to society when... technically he doesn’t owe anything to society. 

Yes, in superhero shows and whatnot, it’s usually a positive trait that “hey this person’s been born with an amazing power and they’ve chosen to use it for the greater good! Look what they’re sacrificing!!!” But let’s say theoretically that person decides “hey i don’t want to be a hero i just want to be a writer!” Are they morally wrong for deciding not to be a hero even though they would theoretically be good at it? Even though it’s not something they want for themselves?

Because I don’t think Hawks wants to be a hero. But he also doesn’t want people to die. He’s tied himself with these moral obligations to the point where he can’t leave now because he feels it would be selfish of him to. And that is speculation, but Horikoshi isn’t exactly spelling it out for us! So, that’s how I interpret Hawks’ character. Yes, he is a true hero in that he wants to save as many people as he can, even at the cost of his pride his dignity his fucking freedom...

but also, he never wished for that. he never asked to be one who has to deal with all of this. But now that he is, what choice does he have? 

So, yes, we agree on that. But I also feel that his personal desire plays as big of a part. Because we, as humans, naturally want things for ourselves. Our personal desire for ourselves shouldn’t be downplayed at all! That’s why I believe his inner thoughts are worded “more free time” rather than “make society more safe”. Because he has his priorities! He wants the best of both worlds-- it’s a form of negotiation. He can still play the hero and less lives would be taken but he can also having some breathing room for himself like he’s always wanted.

To free himself just a little bit from the stressful life of being a hero. 

There is nothing wrong with being motivated by personal desires. Hawks is one of the most grounded heroes we’ve seen--I think he’s cynical enough that he’s self aware of this selfish desire for a freer life. And it’s selfish to him only because he knows that it would never happen without the expense of a few lives-- lives that he knew he would never forgive himself for letting slip.

I think it’s a toxic mindset.

Because as heroic as placing others above yourself... that attitude is completely unhealthy and I don’t think it should be celebrated. What I want to see from Hawks’ natural progression as a character is recognizing that it’s okay to prioritize yourself. Hell, Midoriya learned this during the summer training arc and failed to retain that lesson during the Overhaul arc! THESE HEROES DON’T TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES!!! (ok i get midoriya’s trying). 

And if it’s selfish to desire more free time for yourself off from work, is it really that wrong of someone to do so? To want more control over your life? To want to do things you want to do rather than what others want you to do?

What does this have to do with villain Hawks? Well, I think a large desire for villain hawks is because it shows the departure of that mindset! Hawks doesn’t need to be confined to his hero persona anymore, he can finally do things he wants to do and be the free bird he’s always wanted to be.

But him becoming a complete villain is... far-fetched. This myself I recognize. I’ve only written villain!hawks once and that was because he snapped after the hero commission executed shigaraki and dabi as a show of power rather than going through the effort of trying to re-integrate the men back into hero society. I don’t want to go too deep because this isn’t the point I’m trying to make, but Hawks realizes how power-obsessed society is to the point where he doubts the legitimacy of the hero commission itself and what they do for society and its people.

But, again, that’s not going to ever happen in canon so I won’t bring it up another time. The point I was trying to make is yeah, you’re right that Hawks would never become a villain. He wouldn’t become a murderer- if he does, he definitely needs more incentive than what we can go off from canon.

And ohhh boy here we go, reaching the erm elephant in the room.

(These are the points made in the salt tag btw)

Is Villain!Hawks just an excuse to write hotwings? And what is the plausibility of Hawks turning to villainy? Would Endeavor being exposed as a child abuser be the trigger if Hawks were to turn villain at some point in the story?

Eh...

I don’t know if I even want to go into the whole “this is just an excuse to make hawks and dabi evil boyfriends” because I’ve never used villain!hawks as justification for that personally. And I’m actually not as attached to hotwings as I am to something like shigahawks... I don’t have any points to counteract this other than my desire to see Hawks interact with the entire league. Because it would be fun to see him interact in an environment he’s not wholly familiar with. With Endeavor or the other heroes or even the hero commission, he has some semblance of control or understanding so he thinks/acts like he knows what’s going on. 

Meanwhile, the League is a huge mess and they don’t have their shit together and wouldn’t it be funny to see Hawks as a part of their crew suffering with them!!! Well, that’s bias. My bias. For fanon. And for the jokes. So sad :(

So... I don’t just want to see more Dabi and Hawks interaction. I want to see more Hawks and League interaction. or just more hawks and anyone interactions overall. maybe thats all i crave

Actually going through the points one by one, let’s talk plausibility.

I already talked about villain!hawks being a... departure from Hawks’ faults in his own character. But it is pretty extreme, I’ll admit. If Hawks were ever to join the League of Villains, he’d probably never use killing as first resort. As we’ve seen in chapter 220, it’s not like the League targets only heroes... but i get the salt tag was made like 5 months ago so it’s not like new information hasn’t been released at the time of posting.

Reminds me of domestichobgoblins’ shigadabihawks fic where shigaraki even acknowledges “Whatever bullshit you’ve been telling Dabi, you aren’t a killer either, are you? So what, exactly, am I supposed to do with you?” And you know? The both are you are right. Hawks isn’t a killer and he wouldn’t become a killer willingly... unless he was pushed by some other greater force but I’m not here to address any of that. He could still provide support to the league in other ways, arguably, or just joining the league could be some kind of message to the heroes or supporters of hero society.

You are right to a degree. Hawks’ sole motivator to become a villain wouldn’t be because “OH ENDEAVOR IS AN ABUSER GUESS I GOTTA TURN EVIL NOW”.

Okay pushing past that, so why would Hawks be motivated to become a villain? In canon? I’ve already warped a lot of this post with my own fanon but I’m trying to keep within the realm of canon for this point specifically since you could take a second to push Hawks over the edge in fanon and be done with it. But why would Horikoshi specificially do it?

The fact is hero society sucks. A lot. And I think Hawks recognizes that fact being the most “grounded” and cynical of the bunch. His views and visions of hero society aren’t warped by fantasies and such (which is probably why he doesn’t like All Might...) so he understands what’s happening around him. He understands the mechanisms of hero society and how “valuable” quirks are viewed as in their capitalist society.

But also, he doesn’t  have that much of an option other than trying to lessen the burden placed upon him. Because he’s a single man, and even with his influence, he can’t change society. He’s powerless to do so, even considering who he is. He’s seen as a role model to those in society, but it’s because of his ranking that ironically fuels why people even look up to him: denouncing that would be kind of silly considering it’s the reason why people would listen in the first place.

And this is the point where I say... Shigaraki had a point. Hero society is flawed. It shouldn’t be so reliant on one person to carry it all.

But also hero society itself is bullshit. The ranking system? Horrible. The fact that the hero commission views them as tools for their own disposal? Horrible. The mere fact they basically bribe Hawks into becoming a hero? Like? “Hey kid you’re the best at being a hero so that’s what you should do. we’re only going to give you financial support if you become a hero so you might as well” like what is Hawks supposed to do in that sort of situation? Of course he’s going to succumb to the pressure.

I don’t believe in this whole “sacrifice for the greater good” bullshit. If Hawks wants to be a hero, that’s a whole another story, but if Hawks doesn’t, then he shouldn’t have been forced into that role. It’s about agency--it’s about letting him decide for himself if it’s what he wants to do. And it’s... a gray area for morality. “It’d be selfish for him to let people die!” Who is in the right to say whether or not he should use his “powers” for others’ sake? Me? You? The Hero commission?

So if Horikoshi goes down the path of “hey hero society is extremely bad and needs to change” and Hawks recognizes the League as a proponent for that change, then with a lot of development, it’s plausible in the future. I understand that Hawks, as of what we currently see, is too upheld by his own morals to ever even think about crossing that line, but people change. Hell, you recognized how the High End arc changed Endeavor and made miles of metas about it.

So, is it really far-fetched to say villain!Hawks is just a dream?

Maybe I’m a fool or an optimist, but I’d love to see Horikoshi take that path. Not because I’m horny for evil boyfriends, but it’d be a nice change of pace and we’d get to see a complete contrast of Hawks’ experiences. And it wouldn’t be easy-it’d had to be done right. Just like Endeavor’s redemption arc--if Horikoshi is still planning it. (Let’s be honest: High End Arc was not a formal redemption. I think it was Horikoshi letting the readers know “there might be something worth saving in Endeavor!” but i digress because i don’t care enough about endeavor (his character and redemption has 0 appeal to me and thats FINE. YOU DO YOU AND I DO ME, I only talk about him when it’s essential to talk about the influence he has on characters I DO care about).

As to why people like to characterize the moment Hawks decides to quit being a villain being attributed to Hawks learning Endeavor is an abuser...

The fallout, as mentioned earlier, could vary. A lot. Hawks really looked up to Endeavor when he was young. Again, shattering to find out something so nasty about the one you idolized.

To know that the one Hawks looked up used his wife just like how the hero commission used Hawks. Like an object or tool at their disposal. 

Would he be vengeful or spiteful towards Endeavor personally? To others, probably yes. To me? I’m kind of in the “eh” skeptical ballpark so I guess we somewhat agree on that. To me, Endeavor being exposed as an abuser would  crush that small slither of childish hope that hero society represents something bigger than themselves. Did Hawks ever get to have the childhood Deku had where he was still cheering on the heroes from behind the screen, or did it get crushed just as quickly when he realized how hero society truly works?

Because hero society isn’t bigger than themselves. It shouldn’t be idolized so heavily as it is presented in BNHA.

At least, not in its current state. And people who don’t fit in that group or agree with its ideals suffer the consequences. Like Shigaraki. Like Twice and Spinner. Like Gentle.

These are all villains that are products of society that promised to stamp out villains. And when Hawks realizes that it’s just a never ending cycle where the people left in between the cracks are the ones who perpetuate the system itself...

Like you said, Hawks sees the bigger picture. And his goal is to lessen the burden of the workload for heroes. There will never be a shortage of everyday criminals using their quirks for petty crimes but what about the bigger picture organizations? How are they going to be stopped? What about examining the root core of the problem and going from there? No more short-term solutions to problems... What can Hawks, mighty number two hero, do even at the expense of himself? Hmm... 

I don’t know, just some food for thought. Something I’ve seen done for villain!hawks is the hero commission throwing Hawks under the bus for some reason and Hawks either a) joins the league to gleam more information but finds himself willing to stay or b) has nowhere else to go and it’s more of a push for Hawks to orbit towards the League.

I am really thankful for your thoughts! Even though we don’t agree on things, I think discussion is still possible (whenever my anxiety stops bashing me in the head) and I’m always willing to accept I may be wrong about something. At this point in time (3/27/2019), we have less than 10 chapters released that centers around Hawks, but he’s certainly intrigued a lot of people considering he’s already #4 in popularity from so little chapters released! I think he and his introduction to BNHA represent the more cynical side of hero society that we haven’t been able to properly see from Deku’s perspective!

And I’m interested in what direction Horikoshi is going to take Hawks’ character in! The one thing I’m truly against is Hawks staying the “good little hero” in the end--whether he dies, becomes a villain, or hell even just stops being a hero is good enough for me. Free the bird or kill him off is what I’d want to see. That’d be enough of a character arc for me. Characters change, and it’d be silly to expect Hawks to stay the same especially since he has a lot of baggage on his shoulders and his current situation as a double agent for the League is precarious--despite him stating that he was willing to sacrifice his own reputation for the good of everyone, there’s no guarantee that he wouldn’t feel at least some degree of hurt over losing the respect of everyone and his colleagues. 

My thoughts are pretty clunky but maybe someone was able to gleam something from my stupid 5 am vent...

I love Dabihawks, even though I’m not as invested in it as say Shigahawks or ShigaDabiHawks (which I’m sure you’d definitely have objections to considering your other salt posts... but not something I want to address here), and I still think DabiHawks is a great ship more so because of the dynamic than the aesthetic. But hey, you ship what you ship, you are allowed to express your disdain for the ship--I’ve certainly expressed my own disdain for the your ship in the past--and your salt posts which probably took like 10 minutes to type out provoked me to type out my own thoughts which took like 2 hours to fully process. Like I said earlier: you do you, I do me.

And again-- I’m not trying to “defend” here nor am I trying to “attack”. I just had things I wanted to say and I hope I DON’T have the attitude of someone looking down on you, because I think you have very valid opinions and thoughts and sometimes discourse can just be healthy discussions about how we interpret different characters. We are literally squeezing everything we can out of one character we love and there’s enough room for different interpretations of the same character ^^ If anything, I actually look up to you, which is why I’m too much of a coward to send this to you because oh my god i am so embarrassed about a lot of the shit that comes out of my mouth and i constantly worry about if im saying wrong things even though im open to people telling me why  im wrong about said things. 

tdlr; villains hawks very good. has nothing to do with dabihawks. villain hawks very good on its own. I agree with tumblr user on a lot of things, yet we see differently on other things. The world keeps spinning--I think it’s more interesting to address differences in opinions rather than ignore them. 

(the person this post was meant for will probably never see this unless i send it to them to whcih im like oh my god what if they roast me to hell and back despite me claiming yes i amn ot trying to destroy them or their reputation i just want to talk about this because i had fun trying to think about why i love villain hawks so much aaaaa maybe i am just a delusional fangirl but im also a delusional fangirl who wrote multiple paragraphs about this so... /shrug)

end. again please dont interact. if you want to talk to me about it, inbox/dm me but i dont want this post to get notes. thank you. hides what have I done... 

this has been sorta meta but not really just chicken fucking around at 6 am and good night. maybe sometime in the next... month... ill have the courage to send this to the tumblr user. maybe when i have confidence... or maybe when i make mel look this over. that was a joke- she couldnt even finish my other meta piece which was shorter than this. :)

[asklynden]

My dad is abusing me part 4

I can’t hardly believe what’s happened in recent events. My dad phoned me, so naturally I pretended to not be here and did not asnwer. He then sent me a txt message asking me to come over so I could sort out my suit. A suit for what? He’d decided I was going to his wedding as an usher. Didn’t even ask first. And he knows I have speaking problems so, an usher? Is he senile already??

Anyway I told him no, I told my sister too who was nosey enough to ask. I told me sis I couldnt go because I am an alcoholic. I’m not, but it felt like a good reason. I couldnt do that with my dad, giving him something to lecture me about? No thanks. So I just said I’d considered it and it wouldn’t work out.

Then my youngest bro who lives with my dad begins chatting with me. We talk and he’s doing well. The wedding comes up and we talk about it. I eventually bring up some issues I have, like how my partner is never invited, which kinda seems like there’s some prejudice going on. Apparantly my dad is just dum and thought my partner was just “a friend”. It doesn’t help that it’s not easy to explain my relationship with them. But we’re family without a doubt, and I love the heck out of them. But that’s enough about that, this post is meant to be about bad people, so back to my dad...

He started to seem less bad, and more stupid as things went along. Eventually the main topic came up. My dad owes me £3000. He’s got spending problems, so even though he has a very good job, he never has any money. I am the opposite of him in so many ways. I’d get money in a card from my grandparents to spend on what I want for my birthday and such. I never spent that money. I saved it. I was a very boring child. I then got a job at an Amazon warehouse. And yes it’s as bad as the rumors say. But not the first week. That first week they make it so easy that it’s actually fun. Then they make it harder and harder until it’s not doable anymore... Yeah you can just look up other people’s stories on that. It was hell. And deserves it’s own post. My dad is only relevant to the day I got fired.

That story, to keep it short went like this: I called in sick, because, I was sick. At about noon I got up out of bed to have something to eat and drink, and felt a bit better. My dad sees me and forces me into the car and drives me to my workplace. I don’t have a choice. I get in and walk right into my boss. I have never forgotten the look he gave me. “So you think you can just come and go when you want do you?” he asked me. What kind of person calls in sick and then shows up late instead? It looked to him like I just didn’t want to go in so early. It was because of that moment that my scanner never got upgraded like everyone elses did. I was told not to worry about the extra training session. I didn’t realise how clear it was at the time that this was the moment they decided to fire me. They gave me only a week after that day i think to keep working, all the while talking bad about my performance and how I needed to improve or else.

Sorry for that detour, but my dad got me fired from that job. And he’s never once helped me get a job before or since. But I had earned myself a nice amount of cash over these years. I earned a nice sum. My dad had many moments where he struggled. But I knew he was a bad spending since he bankrupt us back when he was living with my mum. It was cars that did it.

I don’t think he ever asked me for money. Instead it was just an “I’m sorry”. Naturally I said “I can lend you some money”. I don’t know if i fell for the bait, or if he really didn’t expect this. But I lent him money, and he promised he would pay me back. He was very grateful and aksed that I not tell anyone about this, since he’d feel so ashamed to have to borrow from his son. So, I kept it secret.

As time went on more things happened. His car had troubles and needed to be fixed, so I lent more. He couldnt pay the phone bill, so I lent more. He needed eggs for dinner, so I went out and paid for them. With the food I was always the one he sent to go buy it, and I’d often pay for it too, but he was meant to pay me back whatever it ended up being afterwords. I wrote this amount down, and I didn’t mind if a few were forgotten or he didn’t have the money at the time. I just kept the recipt for next time. These began to build up really badly. And before I knew it, he owed me over £3000. He never paid any of it back. Not until I moved out and tried to get him to.

So after I did leave, something I got no help with from him, because... Well I did it in secret. I saw a chance to get away from him and took it. Thank GOD I did. I was deeply depressed and my dad was against me taking anti-depressants. I was already on some, but had been calling them sleeping tablets to stop him from getting angry. Technically, they do make you drowsy, so it wasn’t quite a lie. But they did nothing for my depression. Which was at it’s breaking point. I moved out to a place only 10 minutes drive away. I regret being so scared to move further away. But this was my first time on my own. And I’ve got a few difficulties too that made it scarier.

During this time I struggled with rent far worse than i imagined. I asked my dad to help and he’d pull out £20 or one time £80 to help. I got whatever was in his pocket. And then one month he says “Don’t ask me for anymore money, not until October. I have it already all tied up in other things, sorry.” and so I stopped asked. October came, which was 4 months or more from then. And I forgot totally at this point to bring it up again. And so for another year I didn’t ask. And then another year. And in all that time he never once offered to pay me back. Never since this payment began growing did he ever offer to pay me back. He did offer to take me on holiday and said I could go for free, but, he’d not owe me anything anymore. It was a tempting deal, but I didn’t really like France that much. I said no.

Time went on and I heard abotu him going on holiday more and more, and buying new things, more cars. He had money to spare afterall, but still offered me nothing. Eventually our landlord decided to raise our rent by £100 a month. We were already overpaying for that crappy little place, and it wasn’t a case of “should we?” but “can we?”. And we could not. Oh “we” by the way is my roomate. The “partner” I mentioned earlier. So we had to move, and found a place 2/3 the cost and 3/2 the size much further away. It was a fantastic deal and we moved in.

My dad helped us move, by costing us around £1000. Because he did things cheaply, and told us to do things we werent allowed to do and got us fined. That needs it’s own post too. The damage he cause us is not something I added to the amount he owes though. I chose to just, not bring up that day at all.

So in our new place, doing well. Months of joy, when finally our old landlord tells us he’s not giving us our deposit back, but he also wants MORE money for damages. I didn’t even know this was legal to do. He took the deposit, and then a second amount the same. My mum had to come in and haggle for us because we were pretty much in tears over this. She saved us, and paid a lot of it for me. She expected my dad to do the same and save me, because this shock cost came out of nowhere and we were not ready. I dont have the amount on hand, but I recall I had to pay £800 myself, my mum paying more than that. £1500? £2000?

Anyway I ask my dad. Not to pay back what he owes, but to save me from seriously legal troubles. He did not help.

Over the next YEAR I was able to pay my mum back all that I owed her for bailing me out. And now I’m back on my feet, and could survive a shock payment if one somehow appeared. But I think I’m safe from that happening again. I hadn’t even thought about the money my dad owes me for ages now.

But this wedding, and talking to my little bro (yes finally back to the original topic) it came up. And my bro was like “Oh well I can talk to him and get that sorted. I was chuffed and said I’d go to the wedding. My dad is honestly fun to be around when it comes to parties. Well, as long as he’s not sober to be more precise. He was sober at one party, and was a huge killjoy. But it’s his wedding, he’s not gonna be a downer there! I was getting excited to see my whole family there, and have a great time and-

“Oh hey, your dad says he doesnt owe you that anymore.” What? Yeah what I got was a big load of messages from my bro telling me my dad didn’t think he owed me anymore because of things he’d done for me previously. Like some early holidays we went on. He also claimed to have “helped with rent” which was a very confusing thing to read. As if he was doing it periodically instead of the 3 times he did it.

Sadly this got me into venting a bit at how unreasonable it all was. I lost my cool. But I dont regret what i said. I imagined he’d go back and tell my dad and it’d get straightened out. I explained he did not help with rent nor did I owe him for any holidays, since the one time he asked me to pay, I declined.

I get a reply, my bro calls me entitled. Says so what if I paid for food and phone I used that stuff so I should pay for it. I’m in disbelief. He’s my dad, he provides for me. Besides you don’t tell someone afterwords “Oh you have to pay for those years of me helping you out”. That’s what pimps do. Other people probably do that too but I only saw it with pimps in the shows I watch.

So more ranting back that this was nuts, and that I just want my money back. I also lay into my dad’s spending habits, how he always has cash to burn, but never any for me. Fuck sake this wedding he’s having is costing him a hell of a lot more than £3000! Sadly this stuff I tell him is what he focuses on, saying my dad isn’t a bad spender cause he always buys cheap... yeah don’t I know it. Every birthday and Christmas I get a foreign or second hand phone or computer that breaks not long after. He’s a computer.. something. He gets this stuff dirt cheap thanks to his job. I couldnt really argue againt my bro there, but no way is that a positive.

But in al lthis arguing, it’s clear that my little bro has some bizarre ideas in his head if he thinks you can wave away owed money by being nice enough to someone. And he thinks me living with my dad is him being nice. But uh, that’s called being a parent, and it’s require by law. I wasn’t some friend staying there, I wasn’t a roomate. I was living in my dad’s house as his son. Jesus my lil bro is meant to be smart but what a fucking... Oh. He’s paying rent and food costs and all sorts. My dad’s gotten him paying for everything. He actually thinks this is normal. There is no low my dad wont sink to.

I can’t be mad at my bro, but it’s clear now that my dad plans on not paying me back. That’s theft. So, what should I do? I don’t want revenge, I don’t want to cost him anything, and I don’t want to take this to court because I know that could cost me. I’ll give it more time. But I hope he looks at my empty chair whilst he’s getting married and knows this is his fault I’m not there.

[gutsybitsies]

Bullet fic

scifi au, kinda: Bitty was kidnapped by a group for superpower experimentation, and presumed dead by everyone, including his husband. When he finally manages to escape, Jack’s moved on without him. Warnings for human experimentation (not very graphic), and presumed character death. This turned out to be very, very long. 

It’s years after Bitty graduated and he and Jack are married. As in, jack proposed and they got their marriage license immediately afterwards. they’re planning on jack coming out soon and holding a huge wedding reception after. 

jack’s signed a no trade clause and bought this nice, huge house a few blocks away from marty’s place. there’s a yard. jack built bitty a patio, and he built a swing set “for the kids in the future”

one day bitty’s invited to a fancy party with some other college alumns, and faulty wiring and a gas leak in the building blows everything up and theyre all pronounced dead or missing. bitty was one of the missing bc they couldn’t find anything in there that identified as him. 

but they weren’t actually dead or caught in the explosion: they were taken by a group who needed human bodies to experiment powers and run tests on. while bitty’s being strapped to a gurney and reliving his worst nightmare of being trapped, jack’s suffering a panic attack because he just got news that his husband died in a freak accident

it gets long loll. 

bitty doesnt remember most of the experimentation, because they have him under anaesthesia and hypnosis and a number of other drugs. he does notice that the group of scientists were trying to create humans with superpowers, and most of the test experiments react badly and die. 

the alumn group do well, as in most of them don’t die when injected with the drugs. some even exhibit powers, such as super strength, etc. 

nothing happens with bitty. he’s poked and prodded and injected and nothing happens to him. it’s painful, but he doesn’t die, but he also doesnt exhibit any kind of ability. 

that’s weird, so the scientists decide to basically freeze him away until further notice, and he’s begging and crying for them not to put him in the small and cramped cryo-unit, but of course there’s no recourse. 

the next thing he knows, the door is opening and someone from somewhere called “samwell”, a government agency, is rescuing him from this hellhole. 

they take him to a private hospital, and he sees himself in the mirror for the first time in a while. and he’s hideous. his face was riddled with scars, and his eyes look dead and sunken. 

the samwell agency has already sent out notifications to his family that he’s been found, because he’s been missing around five years, so technically there was an ongoing search for him and he wasn’t pronounced dead yet. 

and meanwhile bitty catches up to the world. and he finds out that jack zimmermann has a public fianceè. 

jack had come out as bisexual, had created a foundation in the name of eric bittle for lgbt youth, and had moved on from him apparently.

jack did all the right things. he grieved, and he grieved. he gave himself time for the loss, he dedicated time and energy to making sure eric bittle was remembered, he stayed in contact with friends and family, he joined support groups and did grief counseling and got better. 

and he met someone, and fell in love again, and is planning on a life together with Katy. bitty’s heart broke as he scrolled through happy instagram and twitter posts by Katy about her beautiful boyfriend jack zimmermann who was an over the top romantic, who bored her with history channel, and let her wear his jerseys. they were two beautiful people leading beautiful lives, and bitty’s can only look at his own weak limbs and face and think about how he’ll never deserve jack again.

jack’s one of the people to receive a notification that bitty was alive and found, because technically he was still married to bitty (he and kate had decided to wait until the date passed that bitty was officially pronounced dead, bc jack couldn’t bear to speed the process up). 

all bitty had wanted was to run home to providence and into the arms of his husband, but instead he called his parents. They were ecstatic that he was alive, and he prepared for the trip back to georgia. bitty doesn’t want to look at jack’s happy life and ruin it, and he doesn’t want jack to see him with his scarred face. but he does call jack, because he knows he owes jack that.

“Sweetpea?” He involuntarily called out, then berating himself because Jack has someone else now. 

“Bitty?” Jack’s heart thumped as he finally heard the voice he’d been missing for so many years. Katy was holding his hand, and his grip tightens. 

“Jack, I-I’m back.” Bitty cried, and Jack could almost hear the tears rolling down his face. He remembered how easily Bitty cried. “I can’t believe Beyonce released two new albums since I was out!” And it was as if Bitty never left. 

“Where are you? You should come back home.” Before Jack realized that he sold the house they lived in together, when he decided that it was too painful to live there alone. 

“I’m back in Madison. I saw the news, about Katy. I don’t want to intrude.”

“You’re not intruding, I’ll book-,” Jack began to say, but Katy was looking blank and scared and he realized that she was afraid that he was going to dump her. And Jack doesn’t fucking know what to do. 

“I’m so glad you’re alive,” Jack finally said, breaking down as Bitty continued to sob into the phone. “I’m just so happy you’re alive.” 

so one of the logistical problems that happens is that jack is technically still married to bitty. but he’s engaged to another person. and jack’s lawyer is raring to go. 

“don’t you worry, mr. zimmermann. i’ll take care of this in a jiffy so you can go ahead and marry your beautiful Katy. and don’t worry about alimony, i’ll make sure he takes nothing away from this marriage, even if there was no prenup.”

bitty, selfless as ever, comes up north to solve the problem himself. he’s willing to file for divorce papers with jack, and doesn’t request any alimony. 

jack, on the phone as bitty’s in the airport: “you don’t have to do this, you just escaped from that terrible place, you have to rest yourself before you do anything.” 

bitty: “oh sweetp- jack. it must’ve been so hard for you to move on, i dont want you to suffer anymore. you’ve built up a life without me, and if i saunter back in anytime later i’ll ruin everything. it’s better to do everything now.” before bitty regrets it. 

part of the reason jack didn’t drop everything and run to bitty is bc jack is very all or nothing. it hasn’t hit home yet that bitty was back. but when he and the rest of bitty’s friend are there in the airport seeing bitty walk in, jack finally felt it. 

grief counseling helped jack a lot, but there was always a piece of him missing, and even though he accepted it and his counselor said it was normal, it was only when he saw bitty again that he felt that missing piece return inside him. 

bitty had sent pictures to his friends to warn them about how he looked, but he didn’t send one to jack because he can’t bear jack seeing him scarred up like that. and he wore sunglasses and a cold mask on after exiting the plane because he wanted to avoid the moment of jack seeing his face for a bit longer. 

and when bitty sees his friends waving at him he runs over and instinctually hugs jack first. his sunglasses were knocked off and his mask was askew in the collision and jack’s expression when he saw bitty’s face was terrible. 

“bitty, what did they do to you?” cupped bitty’s face gently, still looking at bitty with love. bitty moves in closer and cupped jack’s hands, but he felt the engagement ring, and then backed off to say hello to everyone else. 

katy, jack’s fianceé, is conflicted. on the one hand, she’s really really happy that jack’s husband is alive, because she knows that jack has been grieving him for ages and had finally walked out of grief. on the other, she’s so in love with jack, and she’s deathly afraid that bitty being back meant that jack was going to leave her.

when she saw bitty at the small gathering held in his honor and saw all his scars, she horrified herself by being glad that he was disfigured. “How can I be this disgusting that I’m happy for his misfortune?? But I can’t help it, GAH!!” 

so the next day, bitty’s meeting with jack and katy, and their lawyers. jack and katy’s lawyer Smith, and bitty’s lawyer Shitty (bitty was like, i dont need a lawyer, and shitty was like, BRAH). 

Smith: “How much alimony do you want? My client,” looks down disdainfully at his paper, “is prepared to offer you half his estate.” 

Katy, “what the FUCK jack you didn’t tell me that! half of your estate? jack that’s crazy! we’re getting married i should know!” 

“I’m really sorry, it was a last minute arrangement. Bitty needs it.” 

Bitty’s really touched, he really is. But he refuses the alimony because “the whole reason i’m here is because i don’t want to cause any more trouble, jack. you can’t just give me half of what you have. you dont have to give me anything.”

katy, “that’s nonsense, you should still receive something. and you should also have your belongings from the storage unit, too.” 

when jack sold the house and moved into a smaller place, he placed some of bitty’s stuff into a storage unit. when he started dating katy, he moved the rest bitty’s stuff into storage. 

Shitty: “Bits, I know you don’t want to bother Jack more, but you’ve just gone through a really traumatic experience. You kind of need the support Jack’s offering you to get you back on your track with ease.” They agree to an amount that bitty’s comfortable with. 

Bitty, suddenly near the end, realizing that he was about to divorce the man who he still loves very, very much: “I cant do this today. I’m sorry, you were right, jack. I need to leave now. I can’t. I’m so sorry. I’m going.” And he leaves, with jack chasing after him. he waved off shitty and katy, told them to stay while he took care of it.  

“Bitty, Bits! Wait up,” he caught up to Bitty, and convinced him to come sit in Jack’s car. “Hey bud.” He sat next to bitty, who is trying not to cry in public. “Do you want me to take you back home?” 

“Home’s gone, Jack.” Bitty said softly. 

Jack’s throat tightened, because it was the same for him, too. The home that he’d made with Bitty was gone. And while he was able to build a new one, Bitty came back to nothing. 

Jack reached into the backpack that he was carrying around, and pulled out señor bun. “I’m sorry, this is the only thing I can think of that would make you feel better. I meant to give him back to you at the beginning of the talk, but it felt weird to take him out in front of everyone.” 

Bitty cried softly into señor bun, while Jack held him. 

“I’m so sorry, sweet-I mean, Jack. I didn’t want to burden you. I didn’t want to show up with my ugly, terrible, face to disgust you and all this baggage and bother you. I just wanted you to be happy, and now I’m messing it all up.” 

Jack smoothed over Bitty’s tears and thumbed the scar tissue on his face. He never, ever felt disgusted. Bitty was the same Bitty, only hurt a lot more. He was still kind, still self sacrificing, still everything that Jack fell in love with years ago. And Jack still thought he was beautiful. 

“Let’s go to a place where it still feels like home, okay?” He texted Shitty and Katy to let them know that he’s canceling today’s meeting and they’ll discuss the matter later, and he drove Bitty to the storage unit that held all of Bitty’s stuff.

“It was really hard putting these away in boxes, it felt like finally saying goodbye to you. ” Jack said, letting Bitty and himself inside. “I had our friends and family help, because then it felt like we were remembering you and all the good that you brought us, instead of like we were boxing you away.”

All the boxes were meticulously labelled, some in Jack’s handwriting, some in Lardo’s, mish mashes of Bitty’s friends and family coming together. Bitty picked up a small box that wasn’t labelled, and opened it. 

“Sweetheart,” he breathed out. “You kept my post it notes.”

Bitty opened a box labeled Clothes Bitty stole from me, “First of all, your stuff looked darn good on me-oh. This was your favorite game day hoodie, Jack. You should’ve just kept it instead of boxing it away.” 

“You loved to wear it, too. So I couldn’t bear looking at it.”  

“These were the salt and pepper shakers we bought at the flea market.” 

“Oh, you kept the kitchenaid gathering dust here? At least use it, Jack.” 

“My Ivy Park collection! But there’s more clothes here than I remember having bought.” 

“It was a bad phase where I went on a shopping spree and bought a lot of that brand online. It felt like I was buying them for you. You should definitely wear them, you’ll look great.”

Jack continued to show Bitty the boxes. “And this is weird, but these are the planks from the swing set in our backyard. I took it apart for some reason, and I couldn’t do anything with it…I put your socks here with your underwear and color coded everything…the scrapbooks that we made together isn’t here, I gave those to Suzanne…the recipe book you were writing up I gave to my maman…our souvenirs from our trip to Venice is in this box, the duck I carved you during that terrible woodwork workshop is also in here…”

Bitty touched his cheeks, and found that they were wet again. He looked at Jack, whose cheeks was also wet with tears as he explained every box that contained their life together. 

“What are we doing, Jack?” He asked. “I don’t even know why I thought this was a good idea, seeing you again. I thought this was the best way, to let you live your life without me. But now all I am is a selfish ol’ fool who’s begging you to-” he sobs, “-begging you to bring our old life back.”

And Jack has that moment of clarity again, where everything finally slotted together in his mind and in his life. 

“I want that,” Jack said, taking Bitty’s hand. “I want our life back together again. How could I have been so slow? You’re back, and I still love you, no matter what happened.” 

Katy was understandably distraught when Jack had that difficult conversation with her. She tried to persuade Jack otherwise, but gave up and wished him luck when she saw that stubborn look in Jack’s eyes. She actually thinks its very touching that jack’s still in love with someone who he thought died years ago, but thinks that its just her bad fucking luck that she had to be the person who’s abandoned. Bitty bakes her a guilt pie and she’s shameless enough to ask him for more, and he’s happy enough that she’s taking his guilt pie to bake her more. 

like i want to make it clear here that katy’s not a villain or an antagonist or anything, she’s just a person at the wrong place at the wrong time having pretty normal reactions and ultimately not doing any harm. 

and jack and bitty finally hold that wedding reception that they’ve been waiting for for years. there’s still a lot of problems, like bitty has really severe ptsd, but jack’s nearing retirement and has a lot more time to brainstorm with bitty and his therapists on how to deal with it. 

and of course when bitty accidentally cut off his finger and saw it grow back, there were more questions regarding what exactly did the organization do to him. 

but those were things he and jack faced together. 

[ooglywooglies]

OCs

ask prompt but just a post because who does ask prompts anymore I wanna talk about my ocs 

Here are da guys, numbered for convenience (some of them are the same person - there is also more than this I might provide art throughout) (also 27 doesnt exist anymore)

1. Your first OC ever?

stealing this answer from another oc meme i did awhile ago

2. Do you have a personal favourite among your OCs?

ogh thats really difficult, i think currently im a little fixated on Mars (31 and also my pfp) - generally i have a preference towards my protagonists - Loren and Michaels have a special place in my heart (1 and 2)

3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else?

Kind of? Loren and Lukas (1 and 4) are technically Lori’s characters originally but they’re from a joint project that’s had so much sharing we just have joint custody over all TWW characters

4. A character you rarely talk about?

More like characters that hardly get development I guess, Charlie (8), Diana (33), Viena (34), Onna (35), I have a lot of ocs there’s definitely a lot I don’t talk about much, especially because i’m not super open about my ocs as theyre all from projects.

5. If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be?

everyone should know about Loren (ft his sister Jocelyn in the first one)

6. Two OCs of yours that look alike despite not being related?

i guess Markus (15) and Michaels (2) ? theyre both intentionally the standard brown haired white boy character

7. Are your OCs part of any story or stories?

yes literally all of them are, some of them are part of multiple stories in different universes, particuarly Loren (1/11) who as part of the canon of STSR’s story traveled between dimensions when moving in with Lukas (4/12)

8. Do you RP as any of your OCs? If you do, introduce one of your RP OCs here!

no i tried to get into rp as a teen but it didnt stick

9. Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else?

uhhhhhh not from any of the main list because they are IN things but like, it depends, i would let someone borrow them probably

10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design?

none of my ocs have complicated designs because i dont have the attention span to keep up with it but my by far hardest to draw (and animate, good god) oc is a creature called Poltos

11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a “sunshine”?

Loren again, this is actually from an unfinished tarot set, it’s only unfinished because i’m supposed to print them and do the color accents (lorens accents are yellow) traditionally but i havent gotten around to printing them yet - anyway he was one of the easiest to pick a card for

12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lot

I don’t know many other peoples ocs i dont have a lot of friends with ocs that i know. here’s Lori’s oc Eli who i like and designed

13. Do you have any troublemaker OCs?

most of them are, most notoriously Loren (1), Michaels (2) by association, Kitkat (5) accidentally, Winter (6) though she rarely gets caught, Saye (9) kind of is but usually out of necessity (not that she doesnt enjoy it sometimes), Mauvi (10), Rhythm (23) tries to be an instigator, Song (24) just has a mischievous aura

14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory

I think Milo (3) probably has the most tragic backstory, possibly tied with Mars (31) but I can’t explain them because that’s spoilers :)

15. Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people?

I LOVE to but i don’t usually get a chance to

16. Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)?

Loren, he’s an ornithology nerd in particular (this doesn’t come up a lot) 

17. Any OC OTPs?

i was gonna post my shipping charts but they appear to be out of date

yep

Lorkas (Loren 1/11 x Lukas 4/12)

Mikat (Michaels 2 x Kitkat 5)

Windie (Winter 6 x Maddie 7)

Saye (9) x Mauvi (10) (they don’t have a shipname i’m sorry)

Decos (30) x Mars (31) (also no shipname i can’t think of one i like)

18. Any OC crackships?

i’ve made jokes about Milo (3) x Tuenti (14) bc theyre their series token hot guy character i guess

theres a lot of potential here but i haven’t really though about it

oh maybe Nieyamaso (20) x Yumetsa (19) (though thats like... really starting to lean towards canon lmao)

19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)

I have to do both Loren and Michaels, they’re TWW’s protagonists as well as evolutions on mine and Lori’s original self inserts from like 2009, theyre not self inserts anymore theyre so different from how they started but they are 100% a symbol of our friendship of what is it like 13-15 years now?? i don’t even know

20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?

I forget if Milo (3) can still sing or not, he used to be able to but i forget if that got retconned

Kitkat (5) absolutely can and he’s by far the best at it, he’s probably the most musical character, he has a keyboard and he composes a little bit. I think he likes pretty contemporary kind of music, poppy, dancy kind of stuff, standard 2009 feel good internet stuff idk.

I think Lukas (4) can sing too? He plays guitar and is a bit musical but I don’t know if he’s really a singer

Oh lmao Sundae Stellar (22) is a literal popstar so she can probably sing I FORGOT ABOUT HER (i think kitkats still better but its probably close)

21. Your most artistic OC

Probably Winter (6) she’s the most online character out of everyone and has a habit of shipping her classmates and drawing fanart of them/writing fanfiction about them but she’s kind of decent at it

22. Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how?

not a lot of people know my ocs but I think people tend to think Saye (9) is like, kind of grumpy/moody because she usually has a very neutral expression but she’s not, she’s actually intentionally designed that way so it’s not a problem.

23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?

a lot of TWW characters are like that just because they’ve been around for so long and the writing style of a 14 year old and a 26 year old are very different.

though there is Myrkailat (28) who used to be a completely different character named Summer Sol. Summer was the spirit of the ocean and summer but she kind of didn’t have much of a role in anything so i repurposed part of her design (mostly the water hair) into Myrkailat, the (nonbinary) god of storms (they are very cranky as any god of storms in the PNW would be expected to be)

OH I’m dumb i totally just thought of another one, Estelle (13) was originally COMPLETELY different, now she’s a bookstore owner and an author and a researcher on magical stuff in STSR’s universe but originally she was a GODDESS who basically spoke to saye telepathically and like told her what to do and was like an antagonist? and her hair was straight and she had this long silk dress on - STSR just used to be a very different story

24. If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why?

I don’t think id want to meet any of them because it would be really awkward but uh maybe... Milo (3)... for reasons

I bet id get along with Decos (30) though, both terrified of people and love movies

25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?)

A lot of them have little pieces of me, Saye is a lot like me because she’s sort of a vessel for a lot of feelings I’ve had, not really a current version of me but still. Decos is a lot like me for reasons i mentioned in the last question and Mars is too for similar reasons but he’s got a bit more that are more personal. I try to keep ocs from being too close to me though

26. Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about them against your will?

definitely, i cant think of any specific examples but i run into kill your darlings ALL THE TIME. a lot of changes i make are for the sake of realism though (not straight realism but more like accuracy or um flow? idk, but thats something i care about a lot)

27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song?

Technically yes, Saye (9) and STSR as a whole were inspired by Stars in their Eyes by Just Jack (a song i dont really like that much tbh) more the title than the actual lyrics (i have a thing where i cant really process lyrics most of the time)

It made me want to draw a random girl that had bright sparkly eyes but looked fucking exhausted and had dark circles under her eyes

28. Your most dangerous OC?

Nieyamaso (20) she is the “goddess of devouring” in STSR’s universe and was so bent on destroying humanity that she had to be sealed away by other gods though even THAT did not completely stop her because before she was banished to the dream realm she created a race of basically vampires called the Nyesay to wipe out humanity in her absense (this did not go down for reasons you probably wouldn’t expect but still) AND despite being banished she can still do magical favors for anyone who offers her a blood sacrifice

29. Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going?

The majority of them, for one reason or another i struggle to think of any that wouldn’t lmao

30. Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection?

I don’t think any of them would have a “secret” stuffed animal collection but maybe one of the most unexpected to be into stuffed animals is Saye (9) who is a big Hibi (26) fan

I can see Lukas keeping stuffed animals in a collection if people gave them to him though, like if Loren would regularly get him a dog plushie and be like LOOK IT LOOKS LIKE YOU LMAO hed be like no it doesnt! and then keep it somewhere. I don’t think that happens but his personality would allow it to happen.

31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really)

Winter (6) is most likely to have a tumblr blog, and a specifically curated one at that, she actually would probably have multiple, a personal one for writing about and stalking Loren and Michaels, an aesthetic one, and a fandom one. I’m not sure what her taste is at present (2009) she leans a bit scene but i don’t know if shed convert to pastel over time or not, i try not to think about TWW characters in the future. no one else would probably even know what tumblr is though.

Maybe Saye would. I feel like shes in weird spaces online though like neopets forums or something. 

32. Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonist and why?

Decos (30) :) because he is one :)

kind of

33. Your shyest OC?

Decos (30), he has social anxiety

34. Do you have any twin characters?

Yanon (21) and Sundae (22) are twins, you hardly see them at the same time though because they basically have reverse shifts

Mars (31) and Diana (33) are KIND of twins, Mars is adopted but he’s the same age as Diana and nyesay can shapeshift so they looked alike for most of their lives

35. Any sibling characters?

Yep Mars’s adoptive sisters in the above answer

We got Decos (30) and Dyna (32) - Dyna’s older by about 4 years

Loren (1) and his sister Jocelyn who I already posted a picture of, I forget how old Jocelyn is I think she’s 5ish years older than Loren

Mauvi (10) and Ivy (17) are sisters, Mauvi is 7 years older than Ivy

Milo (3) has a brother named Roman who is 3? years older than him? I think? I can’t do math.

Kitkat (5) has a little sister named Emi (ive never drawn her) she’s 3 years younger than him I think

And Winter (6) has at current an unknown number of siblings, possibly an older brother and more than one younger (baby) siblings

36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else (siblings, lovers, friends etc)?

Mentioned the OC sharing between me and Lori before though we both have “custody” Loren (1) was originally hers and Michaels (2) was originally mine, they are friends.

37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human

MANY of them are not but I will just talk about Mauvi Sancay (10) who is probably one of the most obvious Nyesay characters, usually nyesay like to appear as human as possible but Mauvi prefers to look like whatever this is, during the initial story of STSR she changes colors every day 

She’s very interested in fashion and though she isn’t that open about it absolutely resents having to kill for a living, she’s also super gay (as nyesay tend to be) and obsessed with protecting girls

38. Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer?

Sundae (22) because that’s what she does for a living, the only other character that actively dances is Loren (1) and im not sure if hes good or bad at it, it depends on what the situation needs

39. Introduce any character you want

Gonna talk about some moms because I haven’t mentioned them much

Xanthe (16) is Mauvi’s (10) mom and is both a very traditional type of person and an absolute pacifist, she and Mauvi disagree a lot both on Mauvi’s appearance and about Mauvi’s hunting habits (there’s this whole thing about vampire politics but there’s too much to explain here i think i have a wiki somewhere if you really want to dig into that) She’s 60+ and though she doesn’t understand human customs much from spending a lot of her life away from them she likes them very very very much.

Ione is Mauvi’s (10) other mother and Xanthe’s late wife, Mauvi takes the most after her, she was very opinionated and maybe in the rest of her family’s opinion (besides Mauvi) recklessly revolutionary (an avid hunter but did so as statements most of the time, which Mauvi also does but in a different way, Ione refused to hunt “easy” targets aka the poor - I said before vampire politics is complicated so im not really gonna get into it)

last thing i’ll say is there is a reason the Sancays don’t live close to civilization anymore.

LAST MOM OF MY MOM OCs (thats not true but the last one i wanna talk about)

Tsona Shesion (29/36) Is a mom but not in the instance you meet her in STSR, she is 26 (nyesay cant reproduce until 30 years old which is kind of fucked up but nieyamaso accidentally nerfed them too hard) and she lives in an abandoned library in the forest (this forest is basically a character itself but where was i gonna be able to mention that in this meme) and she is the future leader of a cult which seeks to release Nieyamaso from the dream realm and fulfill her intended purpose of wiping out humanity :)

here she is when shes 50+

40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!

A lot of TWW ones, most of TWW stuff is inspired by stuff me and Lori did when we were in like 8th grade but it’s more of stuff that we’ve incorporated into the lives of characters like Loren (1) and Michaels (2) always hang out at this small town barely used laundromat which is something we used to do, and tresspassing is also something we used to do a lot... doing pranks, general mischief as teens do

41. Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!)

no :(

42. Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods?

I think probably Michaels (2/25) in STSR’s lore he moved with his family to Italy?? for his final year of high school (his family is rich) and he studies I think classical art?? Not sure but he’s developing into a bit of a history nerd so if there’s anyone it’d be him. 

43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confess

Very hard to not just continously make characters with pink hair

Also having hair that like flips out is something I do a lot

Usually when I make a new oc it’s bc I’m like oh there’s a hairstyle I’ve never done before (i like to draw hair a lot) but there’s tropes like i do the same style of bangs a lot

Horns? love givin stuff horns

44. Something you like about your OCs in general

It’s like they were made for me (they were)

I like that I’ve got different feelings about almost all of them, I’ve got ocs i love, ocs i hate, ocs i have very complicated feelings about. they arent always there to bring me joy, sometimes they exist to cause me pain and i think thats a good thing. 

Theyre all very expressive and fun to draw too

45. A character you no longer use?

Oh lets see if i still have art of him, oh god that’s super old art, i dont like that

anyway this is Malachi? is that how you spell that? anyway he was the “best friend” character for Saye before I ultimately decided to just steal Loren (this was before TWW got rebooted lmao) 

He’s basically Loren (silly boy foil to mostly neutral protagonist) except instead of being a fish out of water who needs things to be explained to him he’s a spirit boy who generally the SOURCE of exposition

I was 18 at the time and had never written anything before so i think the end result is probably a lot better

Looks like i took some of his design elements and used them for Tuenti (14) though 

Well actually more like he got fused with another old OC named Ariel

Ogh 2013 that’s painful ow i dont like that

46. Has anyone ever told you that you treat your OCs badly?

No but I do

47. Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child?

Yeah usually Saye (9) and Loren (1)

48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure

I can’t think of any that arent like at least 1% evil, even hibi, i mean just look at him

49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memes

Kitkat (5)

50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you wantIf you want, you can tag your ask answers with #yetanotherOCmeme so I can check them out too `v´9

Gonna talk about everyone from the main group that I haven’t mentioned yet because I feel bad

Maddie (7) is Lukas’s friend, they are both new kids at school though Maddie is slightly less new than Lukas. She lives on a farm and has a rescued wolfdog who is kind of ambigiously a pet and not a pet, her name’s Cup. She likes mysteries but not so much in the way everyone else does but more that she like exploration and discovery than like, gossip type of stuff, but she does also like to occasionally “see what happens”. She likes archeology and geology and stuff like that. She’s very nice and polite and often gets marked as the “mom friend” just because she’s usually doting on lukas but its really just because hes such a disaster he needs it.

Lol these are the only pics I have of Tuenti (14) I have?? These are storyboards from the last chapter of STSR (btw storyboards are totally free to read if anyone wants to, im working on the final product but i like the storyboards too)

Tuenti is kind of unfortunately more of a plot device than a character, he’s kind of to me like if Saye had a Saye oc of her own to dump a whole bunch of feelings and idiocy into, he does have goals and stuff going on but he’s very generically “the antagonist” and thats about it

Markus (15) is also there in my storyboards (holding a knife) he’s probably honestly MORE of the storys antagonist than Tuenti is but he doesnt really affect like, the world itself so he’s not much of a priority, he does carry a weird amount of emotional weight with him though. hes the guy who THINKS hes the protagonist and thats all ill say about that

(this is not a final page either) but the dragon (18) is The Grandfather Dragon, his other name is kaizeyal but no one knows that, hes the creator of all the other gods and spirits in the world hes basically just a big ball of magic and he does nothing the entire story

Yumetsa (19) is his wife (i dont think he created her, there WAS a god of magic before him and i think shes old enough to have spawned from that god back when kaizeyal was just a sky god) is the goddess of dreams and illusion, she resides in the dream realm and idk what she does or wants she doesnt make sense shes just confusing all the time

shes the antagonist of the rpg

Princess Yanon (21) and Sundae Stellar (22) are the children of the Dragon and Yumetsa (very different art styles there alright) they both live in a tower and protect the Dragon, Yanon stands on a balcony during the day and addresses the cult that worships her father, she can communicate with him telepathically (though he rarely has anything to say) Sundae is a popstar who performs in front of the tower at night which has like a hypnotic affect on the crowd I guess and she throws knives at anyone who tries to approach the tower while Yanon and the Dragon are asleep

I think that’s it thanks for coming to my ted talk

heres my storyboards btw [link] if you liked this follow me or ask me about my wiki or something

thats just STSR comic theres also a TWW vn in the works (its like 70% done) and a STSR rpg (just started) and a STSR spinoff comic (yeah im busy as hell) 

[nsfwclo]

Too Sweet.  BTSVampire!au PREQUEL- “Too Bad.”

Genre: Angst/ Fluff/Smut /+18 /Mature themes / Descriptions of blood and…other things/ Supernatural

Biased: You X Vampire!au BTS  Type: Vampire!au A/N: Hi guys! This is my first time posting my fanfictions on Tumblr (still trying to figure out how to use tumblr, so I apologize in advance for technical difficulties and troubled reading) Anyway, I’d like to say that I by no means created this story from scratch on my own, this is a disclaimer! I messaged the writer @justoneday-namjoonii (who in fact has become a great friend of mine) for permission to post my version of her amazing story Too Sweet; which you all by the way should read BEFORE reading this! It is f@!%ing amazing!!! READ IT

I had a blast writing this!!!!(Just an FYI)

This is an official continuation of HER story. Again, THIS IS A PREQUAL.  You as the reader will not able to understand this prequel without reading @justoneday-namjoonii “Too Sweet.” first.*This prequel updates as the original updates* I had the honor of messaging, converstaitng and more than anything collabortating with her. ~Just a Fan Writer loving on another Fan Writer~

Mkay well lets get going shall we?

Continuation of Part 8 From “Too Sweet” by @justoneday-namjoonii

Written on 12/16/17      Published 1/16/18

As you lay in bed sleep wouldn’t come to you. You thought back on what had happened after Jungkook had fed from you. All the guys told you that almost anyone Jungkook bites into dies because of his hybrid venom, yet here you were healthy, alive and just dandy. Your mind surfed over to when J-hope and Tae had almost devoured you, both feeding from you simultaneously. Your mind did not rest on the different feelings of their bites “Why did Tae’s hurt more than Hobi’s?” ran through your head every ten seconds, even Jungkooks didn’t hurt as bad. You tried justifying it saying because it was a bite in your inner thigh, but it just didn’t settle well in your thoughts. As Jin was in his lab you put on a robe over your PJ’s and walked outside toward the balcony. Your feet stopped in there place as you saw the one person who’s been on your mind all night sitting on the balcony. “You’ll fall, please be careful” you begun to approach him, Tae ignored you and smiled toward the moon, you heard a howl in the distance, Taehyung sighed. “What are you doing up so late y/n? You should be asleep, around this hour your pretty little face is easy bait” he made fun.

“I couldn’t sleep”

“Awww were too busy dreaming of me that you had to come see me?” he laughed jokingly

“Yes actually” the words spilled from your mouth before you realized what exactly you were saying.

“Why are you the only vampire who leaves campus regularly to visit your parents? How come your bites hurt more than the others? Why are you so confident and narky, like you act like nothing you say do affects anyone or anything?” maybe it was because you were tried and the Drugs Jin gave you were kicking in but you couldn’t hold your tongue

“You’re curiosity is a dangerous thing Y/n, it is best you stick to the books you’re reading”

“Tell me about you, I have yet to find or read any books on your bloodline. How come I answer the questions you ask me when I dont want to answer them! How do you force me to tell you the truth”

“The same way Namjoon gets in your head, suga links his thoughts, jimin seduces and deceives, Hoseok inflicts mental disorders, and Jin heals sickness and injury. It is a gift i was born with.”

“Bullshi-”

“Ah ah ah, no foul language at this time of day y/n your still a lady” he teased, intrigued by your questions. “I always give you answers to your questions, the least you can do is answer mine once” you begged, and oh how he liked you begging. He wasn’t one to make deals but he liked this one

“The truth comes with a cost if your willing to pay for it” he tilted his head to the side coyly

“What kind of price are we talking?” he looked you up and down and bit his lip

“No absolutely not! Pervert!” you couldn’t believe it and playfully hit him

“I’m just kidding. How about blood, hm?” he was more serious now, you weren’t feeling well but that was one you were willing to make do with “sure” he gave a quick smile and looked away from you “jin is going to kill me, but it’ll be fun to get under his bones” tae said under his breath

“I wasn’t born a vampire like the others” he smiled slightly to himself as if finding the story he was telling you was hilarious. He pressed his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, playing with his toes.

“What do you mean?” you stared at him perplexed as how he came to be vampire, more bewildered on the fact that he said “born”. You always thought vampires could turn others into vampires at will, by choice. Well what do you know, you learn something new everyday. You begun to approach sonderly.

“I was born a werewolf.” he said quite frankly still holding onto his feet as looked up at the moon smiling faintly, so bright and full was the moon. The reflection that casted in his eyes captured you, how could someone already so beautiful become even more beautiful simply by looking up. Maybe it was an effect of being a vampire to always leave a human in awe, if that were so I’d said he succeed exceedingly you thought. You took a deep breath and sat closer to him “born a werewolf?” you took a few seconds to contemplate the possibility of how he .. “But how are you a--” he cut you off “A vampire?” you nodded, he placed a hand on your arm circling with his finger the vein to one of your main arteries “I grew up very poor.” he started “My parents moved closer to the city for better jobs to sustain a better income, to help provide us with a better life”  his eyes faltered “I was left to live on the farm with my grandma” tae smiled and at the suddenty you had never seen taehyung smile so sincerely since you’ve met him, it was so nostalgic it hurt to look at. “You probably know this by now with all your reading, but being a werewolf is ranked in the lowest class amongst all creatures” his eyes met you “including humans” his eyes narrowed piercing into your very thoughts “ it’s hard to make and find fair pay when no one wants to hire a dog.” he said in almost a spat like tone as his teeth grit thinking of the struggle his mother and father had to endure. “Vampires hated us for humanitarian reasons, witches killed us for our hair, organs, and entirety for elixirs and potions, humans were kind to us until they discovered our sub rosa” his jaw clenching, his hand on your arm squeezing ever so tightly that it felt he could crush your bones at any moment's notice, but he stopped “Life was mundanely pleasant” he said abruptly, his eyes softened moderately wavering. You wanted to ask what he meant by humanitarian reasons, and why he said it so longingly as if his misses it; but with the conversation at this moment of time it wasn’t appropriate. “My grandmother” he put his hand closer to that grin of his “She gave purpose to my life” he looked at you excited “I remember when i was going through puberty and I first changed, I almost ripped off her arms and my grandfather had to school me on just who the alpha male was in this family, yet she loved me anyway. Oh! And how we would pluck the berries and cut down our livestock” he smiled thinking of all the cows, sheep, and pigs they ate. Those are things he can’t stand the taste of now, but the taste will always be embedded in his memory “My grandmother taught me everything, did you know I know how to play the saxophone?”

“Really?” you said surprised, he nodded “She bought me one on my 70th birthday, in dog years of course” he laughed “wolves age faster internally, physically is all up to us. I suppose that was the coolest quirk of being a werewolf; once you reach adulthood you can maintain that outward appearance for as long as you’d like, the downfall is that you can always age when you’d like but never become younger” you were learning a lot about werewolves talking to taehyung, listening to him answer your questions,you realized why you never saw any werewolves in the school and if you did there was only one by the name of Park Bo Gum and he was the football coach. “How i came to be this devilishly handsome blood stucker, that you are ever so curious about” he said as he grabbed ahold your chin and gave a sexy cheeky smile with a wink “happened on the day my grandmother died… and I had finally moved into town with my parents nowhere near her location” his happy attitude diminished, his ora becoming serious “I got a phone call from my grandfather on my way to school, I was excited to be going to a school with actual people. I was happy that abeoji was calling so I could tell him of my excitement, but when the news got related to me, the last thing on my mind was school. In an instant I wanted to kill everything and everyone in front of me out of anger.” his hands shook and tears started to form “I thought how could my birth be any worse than what it already was, and just like that God answered “like this” and i didn’t want to live anymore” you had never seen the always so confident taehyung so vulnerable, tears dripped off his nose “so i sought a witch, I wanted to bring my grandmother back, give her some of my years.” he wiped his nose of tears “werewolves only mate once in their lives, my abeoji would eventually die of grief. I couldn’t afford to loose him too” he glanced back at the moon in a swift moment “so I sought; cavern after cavern, bloodline after bloodline, there was no witch or any supernatural being that could help me!” he shouted at you, you were now struck with pity and fear and sat there like a deer in the headlights as he cupped your face to bring you closer to him. “So I went to the source of death himself” he lowered himself to your ear and whispered “The devil”. You tried to shake your head away; scared, the adrenaline sped through your veins at a miraculous pace but Tae held your face still looking you straight in the eyes, he drew his face and his hands from you maintaining a close distance “So i made a deal with devil.” His eyes darkened at the renvior, “but i should’ve known better than to trust the devil, only a fool would forget his dealing with Adam and Eve. But there I was, in desperate need for anyone to help me” and suddenly he broke into spaced laughter “what good was it to make a deal for it only undoubtedly fail knowingly that the devil always lied.. So i figured I’m already damned anyway; I’ll be the fucking devil himself. A deal unfulfilled was simply just not good enough for me. So I did it, I ate him” you’re eyes widened in fear as you didnt want to believe your ears, but he wasn’t lying he couldn't be lying while staring at you with eyes like that. You tried to make out words “b-u-u-utt how do-o-oes that explain you becoming a --” “I gave up my life to give my grandmother her’s. Only at the end, I was lifeless and my grandmother remained dead. I became cursed to a hell on earth, a similar punishment that was made on him. Turning me into a vampire was him being gracious” he scoffed “gracious” he repeated under his breath annoyed. “I didn’t like our deal, so I ate him. In a way you could say I made things worse for myself, he still alive down there in his hell hole but he no longer owns me. I have his abilities” silence rang momentarily as you thought on how Taehyungs speed was faster than the others, his venom was stronger, his control over voice, the dominance he radiated. “Trying to put the pieces together Bunny?” he stalked closer. “huh, funny. Wolves eat bunnies.” you thought as you tried to ease yourself on the situation, nervousness poring over you.

“So you escaped a deal with the devil?”

“Yes... but I don't believe one can ever truly part with a dealing made with the devil. It come with many curses, one in which where I no longer cross paths with him but instead I’m more often than not always in full control”

“like your feeding cycles?”

“exactly, and you see bunny” he cooed “I like that; me in control” his eyes preyed on you. “so you can imagine how annoying it is to have a feeding cycle that is highly dependent on the moon”

He started to unbutton his shirt “Tae! What are you--” he placed a finger on your lips to silence you “would you like to see the mark of one of my many curses?” he stared at you attentively and you nodded, an instant smirk appeared on his face as he dropped his shirt to pool at his elbows and black wings appeared from his back, in a woosh taehyung had slammed you against the wall and buried his head in the crook of your neck. You didn't know whether to be afraid or to be mesmerized by his beautiful wings. Struggling to push him off of you, your attempt to flee only egged him on and he bit down into you, wings slowing retracting back into his back. Bite after bite after bite, perhaps that’s why tae’s bites always hurt the most upon entering the skin then fills you with the euphoric pleasures making you feeling like you want him to continue to suck you until there is nothing left pumping through you. Taehyung was one with many secrets, funny because he didn’t look like someone who would be. “Tae” you said breathlessly still trying to fight, but too much venom had entered you and you began losing consciousness.

Taehyung smirked upon your skin, leaving a bloody mess. His marks weren’t healing, let’s just say taehyung didn’t tell you all his secrets and you have yet to discover what the others have been hiding from you all this time. You were losing it, about to go completely black as he pressed himself onto you when suddenly someone had yanked taehyung away, literally almost throwing him across the room. “Y/n” the voice met your ears but you couldn’t tell who it was “Y/n you’re going to be okay” and you saw the dark figure candle down to you before blanking out.

________________

“Mhmmm hmmm” Jimin was humming a song to himself waiting for Jin. Yoongi walked in and sat on the couch at the corner of the room also expecting Jin, Jimin glanced at him slightly. Although he’ll never admit it, Jimin missed Yoongi feeding from him. Before you came along Jimin had to give Yoongi his feeds three times a day twice a week, more if he was craving, but since you came Jimin has been able to be a “normal” vampire. He should be grateful, although not jealous he felt bittersweet toward the situation. Jimin rubbed his neck throwing his head back from thought and let out a sigh “Jimin are you feeling alright?” Jin finally walked tapping jimin on the shoulder and gesturing for him to come sit on the patient table “Have you been feeding properly, someone of your bloodline should have no problems in obtaining meals” he raised an eyebrow at him with a sincere smile “I’m fine hyung, don’t worry” jin stuck a needle in Jimin's arm and begun to draw blood. “Have you heard from your parents? I know it’s not easy being a royal, especially when you’re not treated as one” jin flicked the glass vile of blood. Jimin was born into the “the lovers of the moon” royal bloodline, his life was destined the moment he came into existence yet he still chose to be here, for research and to help Jin discover remedies for his brothers. He didn’t regret any of his decisions as he thought back on his cousin taemin. By the third needle it actually begun to hurt “Ah-” he said as he tried to remain still, something was wrong “I knew it” Jin stopped “You’ve been missing meals, how long has it been since you’ve had a proper feeding?” jin tapped his foot arms crossed waiting for an answer “6 days” jimin said slowly and in a guilty manner. “Get to your room I’ll have Y/N meet you up there for a proper feeding, I don’t want to see your face until you’ve had a whole weeks worth of blood in your system do you understand Jimin” this was that motherly side of Jin, it was kind of scary, his eyes piercing into your very soul ever so seriously. “I think that would be too much for Y/n to take” Jimin said with concern. “Then i’ll have you alternate between donors” jin was done talking and turned his back to jimin with viles in hand. Jimin wasn’t hungry, he hadn’t been eating for more than 6 days but he couldn’t let jin know or he knew that he would freak. He went to his room.

Namjoon burst through the door and set you on the patient table panicking “Jin!” he turned around yoongi got up to see your lifeless body on the table covered in bite marks. Jins eyes widened with worried anger “taehyung.” he already knew, had it already been 6 years? it was that time of the year 6/6 devils peak, taes devil comes out to play. “Has the moon already begun phasing?” he sighed at his unspoken thought. Hoseok entered the room hurriedly but stopped abruptly once he saw jin occupied “Jin.” he looked at the situation and didn’t know if his announcement was important to say anymore “ughh..” he stared at all the concerned faces “What, spit it out already” Jin spat as he put on gloves and had his staff place an oxygen mask over your mouth, IV needles were placed into your arms. “Taehyung just killed another donor” Jin looked at Yoongi and he nodded as he left with J-hope to go get Taehyung. It left Namjoon, Jin and his staff alone giving them time to talk

“Jimin is too weak to be feed on at this moment” jin said as he cleaned off the wounds

“At this rate I think we might have to tell the others”

“I don’t think that’s the best option at the moment Namjoon” he glared at him

“Jimin has been the donor for both Yoongi and Taehyung since you’ve founded this institute and you and I both know how long that’s been”

“If you’re so concerned about Jimin why don’t you take over until he’s recovered enough to inform me of his discomfort in being Yoongi's and Tae’s donor.” jin injected a serum into your IV “Tongs” he asked one of the nurses and he patched up the deeper bites. Namjoon was silent, he knew what kind of venom Taehyung had at this time, to be bite several times over and over again was death sentence, he didn’t know how Jimin did it. A vampire who feeds on vampires is the worse deformity to inquire and a rare one at that, what were the odds of being in the company to two. Two deformative vampires who have no idea about one another's deformities. Jin took Namjoons silence as his answer and smirked “I thought so” he finished, the bites will go away in three days, these bites lasted much longer than that but luckily he had a serum from taes last endeavor. “She should wake up soon”

_________________

“I can’t find him anywhere dammit” Hoesok spat as he walked into all the dorms, he opens another door “*screams*” and quickly shuts the door “Sorry ladies” seeing he’s already walked in on three other dorm girls fresh out of the shower, he didn’t mind it. Yoongi went to the feeding hall, cafeteria, lounge, still no trace. He was worried he could have possibly left school grounds, he didn’t know much about taes defect nothing other than he knew it scared Jin and that was enough to make Yoongi worried. He grabbed Hoesok and left the grounds toward the cafe, there’s no way he could’ve strayed further, tae was getting exactly what he wanted, his hyungs out of the way. Tae entered his room which he shared with jungkook, jungkook was napping to submerge the hunger pains Jin put him in as a result from feeding from y/n. Since Tae couldn’t find Jimin, jungkook was the second best thing; half human and vampire. He towered over jungkook, sitting on top of his lap and brushed his nose across his neck. Tae wasn’t selfish when feeding from his brothers, his gift allowed him to draw all the poisons from his blood/body and direct them into his venom so that way his prey could drink from him too without being poisoned, this exhausted him though. It took conscious effort to project all this poisons into his venom to make sure that the vampire he’s feeding from doesn’t drink any toxins. That’s why it made taehyung's bites so unbearably painful. When drinking from humans tae didn’t have to do this, he could drink with a normal venom dose inflicted on his prey, but if he were to bite a human in this state they’d surely die after the second. Even for a vampire, if weak too many bites could cause them to pass out, if they’re strong enough the worst that they’ll probably get it really really dizzy. Tae smelled jungkook, his mouth salivating with anticipation, this would come as a surprise to Jungkook. Jungkook shuffled in his sleep but was unable to move, the immobility woke him up “Tae what are you--” he tried to prop himself up but was pushed back down, jungkook used his weight to flip tae to the bottom holding his wrists down

“I’m hungry” tae said with playful serious tone

jungkook was confused by taes statement

“If you’re hungry you know to go to the feeling hall” jungkook let go and stretched

“I’m hungry for blood a little thicker today” tae said as he pushed Jungkook to the wall

“What are you on? You know you can’t drink from vampires, it’s poisonous” tae walked back to the bed annoyed counting down the time yoongi and hoesok have been out.

“Jungkook”

“Yea?”

“Do you trust me?” he was doing it, using his power to get what he wanted

“Of course”

“I can give you blood to suck on”

“You’re bringing Y/N?!”  Jungkook exclaimed excitedly, Tae frowned and then laughed

“Not exactly but it’s better than animal blood and I know your hungry. It’s something other than Y/N you can sink your teeth into without killing” jungkook was interested

“Well you have my attention.... so you gonna tell me what it is because I want some” Jungkook said eagerly and impatiently

Taehyung gestured for him to come down so he could whisper in his ear, bringing his neck close enough “It’s me” tae whispered and quickly bit into his perched neck straddling him down. He took the bait and Tae wasnt latching off. Jungkook yelled in agony like never heard before “Tae-” he wanted to throw taehyung off knowing he could but the venom was too strong, he wasn’t use to it yet. Then tae bit again lower down and another yell of agony left, low key turning tae on “They’re not as high pitched as jimin's” tae said in a hushed tone over his bite blowing cool breath onto the gash before digging in again “but his will do” tae helped himself to the adreline rushing through Jungkooks veins, it caused the blood to be hotter and run faster. What a shame there would be ton wasted. Jungkook was getting dizzy  “mhmmm” tae hummed as his blood tasted delicious going down his throat, he broke his contact with the skin huffing for breath “The bites would hurt a lot less if you bit down too you know” then sinking back in. Jungkook couldn’t think, tae felt Jungkooks body suddenly fall limp and stopped. “A limp body is no fun to feed from” Taehyung said lowly annoyed. He grabbed the back of Jungkook's head and guided him to his neck being patient for him to bite before continuing his meal. Jungkook half unconscious felt skin touching his lips forgetting whos neck it belonged to and dug in aggressively taking Tae aback. “Ugh-” tae glared at him from the corner of his eye, jungkook never opened his eyes, they were too heavy but began to suck and found that Tae’s blood tasted euphoric, powerful, rich like dark chocolate, he bite again. There they were feeding off of one another and no one had the slightest clue.

Jimin was in the other room, he knew exactly was going on and crouched up into a little ball on his bed. He somehow felt bad he couldn’t feed Tae but relieved that Jungkook was taking the first night instead of him. Sometimes Tae didn’t know when to stop and jimin was in no condition for blood sharing, he barely had enough of his own blood pumping through him. An hour past.

Tae left jungkook sleeping on the bed as he sighed in satisfaction, jungkook kept up well but that didn’t mean he still wasn’t going to some of jimins.

_____________

“y/n!” namjoon greeted you warmly, he’s been different since you’ve woken up from your injury.

“Hi namjoon” you smiled warmly as you gathered your books to place back onto the shelves of the library

“Have you read up on the blood lines? Which one are you most familiar with” you found it strange he was trying to make actual conversation with you, normally he’d just peep into your head for the answers to his questions that he wanted.

“Jimin’s bloodline I’ve become more familiar with, and Hoseok’s is generic. But I have yet to do any research on you although I should” you playfully scolded, you did have tons of questions but were afraid to ask him about. Namjoon’s eyebrow raised “Jimin's bloodline may be the easiest to comprehend but his heritage is another ballpark” he grabbed another book titled “Bonding” you were interested in the title and coaxed your head to the side to peer over his shoulder

“always so curious y/n” he snickered

“Haven’t you ever heard of “curiously killed the cat” in your case “kitten” he pried the book from your eyes.

“His heritage? Why would it be hard to understand?” you said ignoring his comment and concentrating on the topic of Jimin’s heritage. Jimin has always been the kindest, you made sure to study more on his bloodline as a thank you for always being polite and mindful when feeding from you.

“Mine and Jimin’s bloodlines are the oldest” he licked this thumb to turn the page

“We’ve set the foundation of bonding, without it our race and our family lines would have deceased to exist”

“Tae had mentioned something about vampires being born? Is that true, i always thought vampires could turn others into vampires?”

A smile danced its way onto Namjoon’s lips as the words left from yours

“You watch too many movies y/n” he chuckled

“It is extremely difficult to turn someone into a vampire but not entirely possible. That is why my and Jimin’s bloodlines are vital. They carry the ways of bonding, establishing a married connection” he shifted the weight of the book back and forth from each hand

“Jimin being first born into his family has had his suitors picked out since he was young. If I’m not mistaken it’s about that time where they consummate.” his eyes faltered

“Vampires have a process of marriage?”

“Absolutely. It’s a very serious matter. You know by now that vampire blood is poisonous don’t you” you nodded in response to his question

“Vampires are very intimate creatures.” He looked you up and down and bit his lip teasingly. God how he stirs up, you were a little embarrassed. He chuckled before continuing.

“It is quite difficult being intimate with your spouse or lover when you worry of possibly killing yourself and or your partner. During intimacy vampires tend to bite, it’s an oral pleasure, a release. You know like...” 

“No no no it’s okay I get what you mean” you waved your hands franticly almost about to cover his mouth to stop him from explaining further. Your flustered embarrassment amused him

“You don’t have to be so detailed” you blushed covering your face, Namjoon laughed at your reactions. Sometimes you wished you weren’t so curious.

“Okay okay. To sum it up blood sharing between spouses is a basic necessity toward our existence. Our blood makes that almost impossible, so you would think right?” he perched his eyebrow up to you

“What do you mean?”

“Do you remember in history class how the king claims his wife as his own? How that tradition started?”

“You mean where the pope, higher class members, and witches had to watch them consummate for the first time?”

“Yes exactly!”

“That is so vulgar. The queen must have felt so violated”

“It’s a custom, you get use to it. It started with vampires, our line to be exact.” he said ever so proudly.

“So people have to watch you ….” you gulped “ “do it” for the first time with your wife”

“Yes, for good reason. During consummation the witches use a spell to link the married couple’s blood together. Unspoiling the blood for just them two” he smiled kindly “It’s a beautiful thing to be able to drink from the person you love most for the rest of your life and not have to worry of poison.”

“Does that mean other vampires can drink from you too?”

“No, the blood is only linked between partners. The blood is still toxic just not to the couple.”

“How is that possible?”

“It’s difficult. More often than not three witches die during the process.”

It finally begun to click in your head why there were so many witches attending the school, Chaseon specifically came to mind. You admitted, it horrified you bit “Would it be okay for a vampire to marry a human?” you asked thinking of your own feelings. “There are laws about that Y/n that you definitely can read about.” he said vaguely with remorse not giving you a clear answer. What didn’t he want to tell you? He handed you the book and pat your head. “Alright then, well at least tell me about Tae’s bloodline, I can’t find anything on it” you yelled down the vacant library aisle as namjoon began walking away. Namjoon stopped, frozen to your question before sighing, dreading what it he’ll have to. He’s going to have to make you forget. “Y/n” he said concerned as he turned back to face you “What exactly do you already know?” he began walking toward you.

________________________

“Jimin! Jimin! Jimin” Tae and J-hope were chanting Jimin on as he started to eat again, this being his third girl as the other two had fallen unconscious.

“See, and I thought I was bad” tae elbowed Hobie

“You are. Jimin hasn’t killed any.” the atmosphere went from frat to serious “When vampires were first brought into the world they killed just about every human they fed on”

“We arent as animalistic. We’ve adapted and have become domesticated.” he growled showing fangs, Tae isn’t one to back down a challenge but felt it was best to let it go before it got ugly.

*coughing* “Jimin slow down will you” tae said cheekily as he patted his shoulders. Normally you’re not supposed to stare while vampires are eating but Tae wanted Jimin, it was kind of hard not to stare.

“Tae let’s go, Jin needs you” J-hope checked his messages. Tae grabbed the back of jimin's neck tenderly, flashed him a smile and got up “Let’s go see what the mom wants”

“You’ve never had to see him so often before, is everything okay?” Hobie was concerned, Tae was his best friend [of course when Yoongi wasn't around]. Taehyung felt a struck of guilt as he’s never told Hobie his secret, he who has always went with him to see his parents on the holidays instead of seeing his own and always made him laugh, he wanted to tell him but couldn’t bring himself to do it quite yet. “Yea, he’s probably concerned with my blood intake after what Jimin pulled? Blood depreciation, c’mon now” he playfully nudged him to bring him at ease “I thought so”

You read up on bonding and ran to Jimin’s room to ask him about “Rose” how she happened to be on his heritage plan. What did her picture next to Jimin mean? Was she a suitor like Namjoon was talking about? If she were why would it bother you? Maybe that was the reason Jimin stopped eating, he isn’t ready to announce his engagement. You could be wrong but wanted to find out for sure. You banged on the door “Jimin, Jimin” you heaved as you were out of breath. Jimin groaned as he got himself off the bed and opened the door. “Y/n? What are you doing here? Sugas room is two doors down” he pointed down the hall sleepily, eyes suddenly widened at the books in your hand “What are you reading?” the grabbed your hand and pulled you in. “I was curious, I have to know who is this?” you pointed in the book. Annoyed he didn’t answer your question instead he decided he was hungry. He pushed the books out of your hands 

“Hey!” you shouted as the papers inside the textbooks flew onto his bedroom floor. He approached you. He placed his hand behind your head and grabbed a fist full of hair pulling it back for your face look up at him. You let out a groan of pain as he held you in an uncomfortable position. He smirked as your painful expression brought a dark pleasure to him, he began kissing you and quickly moving down to your neck. Although you didn't stop him, you began to fill with fear.

“I don’t like the taste of fear in my blood like the others” he said breathily as he sniffed your neck then gently placing a peck on it. You’re breathing was uneasy, you didn’t like this Jimin, this Jimin when he’s hungry scared you. “Y/n” he used his other hand to run his fingers down your body “Relax for me please, it’s just me” in an instant your body complied and relaxed, you hated Jimin’s gift the most and the effect that his voice had on your body. How his words engulfed your mind, like a siren calling you making you fall competent to all his wishes, demands, and questions willingly.

“Jimin please.” you tried to move your head into a more comfortable position at your discomfort, hoping for just the slightest bit of a distraction to get him to stop. He gripped tighter and moved your head to the side for better access to your neck. You clenched your eyes shut from the pain of your hair being pulled and he bit into you. An accidental moan of anguish slipped from your lips and followed by groans from the two sources of pain. You felt jimins lips form into a smirk on your neck as he fed. “Keep making those noises y/n and you’re going to have more than just my teeth entering you” If you were being honest with yourself, Jimin was the most dangerous among the vampires. You tried suppressing by biting your bottom lip, some still managed to come out muffled. His gifts making you want what he wants, making you strive to please and satisfy him, genuinely what a cruel gift- you thought has he begun teasing you, licking up your neck and random pecks as he dug his fangs back into you. He removes his hand from your hair and places both hands on your arms, clenching them tightly to try and restrain himself. He bit again  higher up your neck and as much as you tried to stay quite another moan left louder and pained, he was being a little too aggressive than usual but still sensual. This was a different type of fear you were feeling, and not one where you were scared of him. He knew exactly what he was doing as he pushed himself up against you, you could feel him. Your blood was releasing oxytocin and higher amounts of endorphins, jimin was getting exactly what he wanted, you were letting him dominate you. “Ah-” he broke away from your neck momentary to release a gasp of pleasure from the way your blood tasted, it was precisely how he liked it, hot with the right amount hormones. “I’m not satisfied Y/n” he whined for more

“Then drink until you are” why did you say that? You didn’t know if that was really you talking. He looked at you with your blood stained on his lips “I know of another you can feed me, someway more satisfying” he placed his lips onto yours and pushed you flat onto the bed with his weight, why weren’t you fighting him? He moved his lips to your neck kissing the bite marks he’s left on you “Y/n?” he said as he made kisses down your body “Do you like me?” he was at your naval “yes” you managed out of your lips, you wanted to stop but at the same time you didn’t, Jimin’s venom had a way of making you a paradox. “Y/n” he slid his hands across your thighs “do you want me?” the question caused your heart to quicken, pumping blood faster throughout your body, Jimin could feel it across your skin, he was growing impatient. “Yes” you paused “stop it you idiot” you told yourself on the inside, but your mind and your words weren’t communicating as “I want you Jimin” left your lips. He placed his hands between your knees looking at you darkly “good, because i want you to.” another kiss placed upon you as he played with your knees “Y/n, could you open your legs for me please?” his eyes seductively hypnotic, his voice controlling your movements, you couldn’t beat him. You lay there flat on your back in defeat as you slowly begin to spread your legs open to him, inviting him. He squeezes your thighs in his hands as he lowers himself in between and just before he could remove any apparel to get to his destination a knock was made at the door. Before someone walked into it “Y/n are you in here?” Jin opened the door with of course Namjoon following right behind. Jimin was annoyed and stood up as jin barged in to scoop you up brindle style “Jimin what the hell” Namjoon glared at him following Jins glare “We will discuss this later, meanwhile if you’re still hungry I suggest drinking blood bags until we’ve discussed things” jin carries you out of the room being mindful not to bump your head into anything.  Namjoon flashing on last glare, jealous that you let Jimin dominate you. He felt he was the only one who was allowed to do that to you. He recalled that first and last time he had drunken from you. Namjoon left and shut the door. It left Jimin alone. He felt it again, that wave of dread. He was not anticipating speaking with Jin and Namjoon about his actions, actions in which he didn’t regret.

[blissedoutphil]

Dan’s Purpose

When I first watched actual phan say this, my first thought was “wow im def gonna write lotsa smut about this” but somehow I ended up with....this? A smut blog writing angst?? What happened here :x

But I hope you enjoy my first attempt at (almost) non-smut!! Do give me feedback, like if I should just stick to smut or something lmao bc I honestly dont know if this is any good

EDIT: THANK YOU for voting for this fic in the phanficawards!! It's won third place in the Undiscovered Gem category :) thank you for motivating me and helping me every time I doubt my writing <33

4428 words of neko!dan, owner!Phil, angst, a lil fluff, mentions of smut, grinding, punishment

or read on ao3!

Dan is Phil’s good little kitten. He’s proud of it. He loves it when his Master shows him off to people, loves it when his Master is proud of owning him. He knows he’s lucky to have Phil, especially since he could’ve ended up with anyone in this world, and there are many horrible, awful people out there.

Phil was fair, he was kind. He didn’t abuse his power like so many people did to nekos. He keeps Dan safe and he makes Dan feel loved. Phil treats Dan like a princess, always spoiling him.

Technically Dan was still Phil’s slave. No matter how nicely Phil treats him, he can’t escape from his fate in this world where nekos were just born, bred and sold to serve. Few lucky ones out there got training to serve in better jobs, but most nekos were just sold as pleasure slaves. Dan spent years afraid of being sold to someone nasty. He may not have been lucky enough to get training for a better job, but at least he was lucky enough to be sold to Phil. At least he wasn’t like some of the most unfortunate nekos who had no home and were just left on the street, vulnerable to anyone who mean harm.

When Dan first met Phil at 16, he had expected the worst. Phil was so tall and Dan barely reached his shoulders. He was terrified of Phil and he’d expected to be used immediately by the man 5 years older, but Phil barely touched him. Phil was caring and careful. He made the effort to earn Dan’s trust. He knew how nekos were generally treated terribly, especially since he grew up with one mistreated by his own family. He might have decided to buy a neko only to prove to himself that he wasn’t like his family. It took a while, but Dan warmed up to him soon enough.

And Dan learned that sex wasn’t always painful and scary like the nekos he’d met described. Phil was so gentle with him, he paid attention to Dan’s needs and he never made Dan do anything he was uncomfortable with. As a natural submissive, Dan discovered that he actually enjoyed pleasuring Phil. Soon he realised that he wanted to serve his owner - sexually or not. It was something he never thought was possible before being owned.

Phil did set rules and tasks, although he was lenient with them. Dan obeys them like the good cat he was. Simple things for Dan’s sake, really, like eating healthy, exercising, helping out with chores around the house, and no humping against furniture. Phil would only discipline him if he broke any rule or disobeyed him, but it was a rare occasion.

Dan loves it when his Master shows him off to people, but not this time. Adam crouched down to scritch the back of his ear, but Dan only flattened his ears. He wanted to hiss at Adam to shoo him away, but he knew his Master wouldn’t appreciate that. Dan was hiding under the office table, and with his back pressed against the wall, he realised it was a bad hiding spot.

“I don’t know what’s gotten into him today, he’s usually not that shy,” Phil spoke, addressing Adam who was standing back up.

When Adam left the room, Phil crouched down to have a proper look at Dan. “What’s wrong, pet?”

“Nothing...” Dan mumbled, “just. You didn’t warn me that we were gonna have company today.”

“Sorry about that, I’ll explain later, alright?” Phil said before hurrying out.

Technically, Dan was still Phil’s slave. He should be doing what Phil wants him to, should know what was expected of him even without verbal commands. In that moment, he was expected to greet this Adam guy politely. He knew that was what Phil wanted him to do. But Dan also knew that Phil wasn’t like normal neko slave owners. He wouldn’t get into trouble for acting against his owner’s wishes.

Although he never knew about this Adam guy before today, Dan just didn’t like him. He wasn’t even sure why, because the guy honestly seemed like a nice person. Phil won’t hang out with neko abusers, and he certainly won’t introduce such people to his beloved neko. So Dan knew that Adam was a nice guy. But still he couldn’t help feeling uneasy about him.

Perhaps it was the way Dan saw them entering the apartment, all huddled up together. Perhaps it was the way Phil smiled at Adam, a smile that made the corners of his eyes crinkle that usually, only Dan caused. Something about these little things made Dan’s stomach drop.

Dan quietly crawled and peeked around the office door in time to see Adam leaving. When he saw Adam kiss Phil goodbye, his heart stopped and that was when he knew he was in trouble.

Later that night, Phil was hugging Dan close in bed as they always do when they went to sleep.

“I didn’t plan for Adam to visit us tonight, sorry about that. We were just caught up in rain and we were only 2 blocks away from here, so I decided to bring him back for some warmth while waiting for the rain to stop before he could go home,” Phil stroked Dan’s curls as he spoke, and Dan’s ears perked up, listening intently.

“I’ve never heard of Adam before,” Dan muttered. Phil told him everything, his owner barely had any friends. Phil chuckled sheepishly.

“Yeah sorry bout that too. I’ve been seeing Adam for almost 3 weeks now? I never told you because I didn’t know if it was going to be a serious thing or just like a fling. But I think we might actually get serious.”

Phil was smiling now, a dreamy look on his face. He hadn’t had a partner in ages. He’d been single since before he bought Dan, and Dan’s been with him for 4 years. Dan knew this, so he should be happy for his owner. He really should.

But.

But he couldn’t stop the sinking feeling in his chest. He received lots of training at the neko centre on how to be a proper slave for his owner. How to serve and how to provide pleasure. But he was never taught on how to deal with heartache. Because who would think that a neko would fall in love with their owner?

Dan was in trouble.

Dan wasn’t stupid. He knew this day would come. Of course Phil would finally find someone one day. How could he not? Such a charming, positive and loving guy would surely win someone’s heart soon enough. And of course he wouldn’t expect a human to fall in love with a neko. Yes, he knows that Phil loves him, but not that way. So naturally, he shouldn’t fall in love with a human either.

Except.

Except Dan was stupid. How could anyone fall in love with someone who bought them? Someone he was technically a slave for? But then again, could he be blamed for falling for Phil? The only person in his life who ever showed care for him? Someone who treats him with respect despite their status? Dan was in love and he was stupid.

He was also silent for a bit too long. Phil was looking at him now, and he cleared his throat awkwardly.

“That’s. That’s great, Sir,” he said softly, avoiding eye contact.

Phil either didn’t notice anything wrong or he didn’t want to mention it because he kissed Dan goodnight and that was the end of the conversation.

Since then, Phil started coming home late. Once, he even spent the night at Adam’s and forgot to inform Dan, leaving Dan to sleep alone confused and worried.

The couple stumbled into the apartment late one night, and Dan caught a glimpse of Adam pushing Phil against the door as soon as it closed, the two of them urgently making out. Dan retreated to the office, he couldn’t bear to hear or watch them.

When he was too tired to stay up any longer, he went to the bedroom only to find the door closed, and sounds of sex coming from the other side of the door. Dan sighed and waited by the corridor.

Soon enough the sounds stopped. Dan’s ears were flattened, trying to drown them out. He felt dirty and wrong for hearing them. Perhaps even jealous, but he would never admit that. He waited for Phil to come out and look for him to go to sleep together. Silently hoped that Adam would leave. But time passed and the silence dragged on.

If Adam can satisfy Phil’s sexual needs then...what was Dan’s purpose there anymore? If Adam was now here to keep Phil company, was Dan still needed?

Technically, Dan was Phil’s slave. His purpose was to serve Phil sexually and satisfy his needs and wants. Phil was a lonely guy who needed company when he bought Dan. But if his needs and desires were being met by someone else...Dan was of no use.

His chest began heaving and tears slipped down his cheeks. He considered knocking on the door; even if he couldn’t sleep in bed with Phil, his cat bed was next to Phil’s bed. But he quickly decided against it, Phil was probably asleep already and who was Dan to disturb his Master’s rest?

He tried to stand to go to the lounge and sleep on the sofa, but his limbs felt heavy and he suddenly had no energy to move. He felt out of breath and he couldn’t stop trembling. Nekos who weren’t needed by their owners usually had two fates - either be sold to someone else or just abandoned. Was Phil as exceptional as Dan had thought all this time, or will he be just like any other neko owner out there?

Dan hiccuped and willed himself to shut his brain up and just go to sleep.

It was Adam who saw Dan first the next morning when he opened the bedroom door. Dan woke with a startle when the door swung open, losing his balance as he was curled up against the door.

“Oh! Dan, good morning,” Adam chirped, too enthusiastic in the early hours of the day for Dan’s liking.

Dan didn’t reply, only curled his tail around himself and shied away from the door. He heard Phil exclaim from inside the room, then heard Phil’s footsteps rushing to the door. Dan wanted to hide. He looked pitiful, with his swollen eyes and dried tear tracks down his face.

“Oh I’m so sorry I forgot to let you in, pet,” Phil apologised sincerely, crouching down to Dan.

“It’s okay,” Dan mumbled.

He felt like crying again, how pathetic. He tried his best to keep his composure and quickly went to the bathroom to wash up.

When Dan was done showering and changing, he went to the kitchen and found that Adam had cooked them breakfast. His tail hung between his legs. That was another thing he was meant to do. Adam was replacing him in every way and it was crushing him.

“Dan! Adam made us pancakes, come have some,” Phil gestured to the stack of pancakes on the kitchen table.

It smelled so good, but one look at Adam happily eating next to Phil and Dan’s appetite was gone.

“Not hungry,” Dan simply said and started to retreat from the kitchen.

“Dan, it’s not good to skip breakfast,” Phil’s voice was stern, he always placed importance on Dan’s eating habits.

Dan exhaled shakily, how stupid of him to deny his Master’s requests. Then again, if he was going to be disowned soon anyway, what’s the point of following orders? He steadied his breathing and walked out of the kitchen, ignoring Phil’s confused look.

After breakfast, Adam finally left and Phil took the opportunity to ask Dan about his behaviour earlier.

“Don’t lie to me, Dan. I can tell you only didn’t want to eat because breakfast was made by Adam, isn’t that right?” Phil asked, but he didn’t sound angry, just upset.

Dan didn’t want to admit that he could be so easily read by Phil, so he pawed at his tail nervously.

“Don’t you want to show Adam that you’re my good kitty?” Phil continued.

Dan frowned, how could Phil try to make him feel guilty like it was his fault that Adam was doing all his work now.

When Phil was met with silence again, he sighed. “I don’t know what you want when you don’t even want to talk to me. I have to go,” he got up and left the house, leaving Dan feeling absolutely hurt because Phil didn’t even kiss him goodbye like he always did before going to work.

Dan had a good cry and a great nap afterwards. In his nap, he dreamt of the last time he had sex with Phil. Phil had rimmed him slow and sweet, turning him into a moaning mess before fucking him gently, lovingly.

He was just about to get to the good part where Phil sucked him off while he came, but he suddenly woke up, panting and with a hard on.

Great. Dan groaned, he didn’t know when Phil was coming back since he never seemed to care to update Dan anymore, so he didn’t know how long he’d have to wait to get some relief from Phil. He thought about his dream and felt a mix of anger and lust. It’s been a month since they last had sex. A month since he got an orgasm, which is the longest he ever went without an orgasm since he moved in with Phil.

Then Dan got an idea. He already broke a rule in the morning, breaking another wouldn’t hurt. It’s not like Phil would find out anyway. Dan got out of bed and rushed to the couch in the lounge.

Perfect. It’s always been his favourite place to grind against until Phil placed the rule. The armrest especially gave the perfect amount of friction he needed. He hurriedly pushed his pants down and began humping the side of the couch.

It felt so good, he didn’t even care that he was breaking a rule. So what if he was? Phil doesn’t need him anymore. He’d be thrown out either way, so he should at least get some relief before meeting his fate.

Dan moved his hips urgently, feeling orgasm pool inside him. But tears suddenly blurred his vision as his thoughts drifted to Phil. This is all your fault, he thought. So stupid for falling for your owner. What kind of freak. Your fault, breaking your own heart like this. Now you gotta resort to humping against the couch for pleasure. Fucking pathetic.

Phil found Dan humping the couch. What on earth? First he refused to eat, now this? Breaking two rules in one day isn’t like Dan at all.

“Your fault, this is your own fault,” Dan kept muttering between sniffles, hips thrusting randomly even though he’d already come. It wasn’t even a satisfying orgasm, he was too caught up in his thoughts. He didn’t hear Phil enter the room either.

“Dan!” Phil shouted, and Dan stumbled away from the couch in surprise.

“What do you think you’re doing?!” Phil scolded.

Dan responded with a sob. He looked downright miserable, with his ears turned down and his tail limp behind him. Phil shook his head in disapproval.

“Don’t think looking like that will gain you sympathy points,” Phil reprimanded, “So are you going to explain to me why you’re misbehaving so much today?”

Dan looked at the floor. It was hard enough to accept the fact that he was no longer valuable in this place, why did Phil have to make him say it?

“It’s been a month since I got off,” he weakly argued instead.

“Well then you could’ve asked me to help you out!” Phil said exasperatedly.

“Pfft, as if you would,” Dan huffed.

Phil’s eyes widened in disbelief at what he heard.

“I’ve had it with your attitude today, Daniel,” he growled, “I let you off without a punishment this morning, but looks like I shouldn’t have.” 

Phil grabbed Dan’s arm, ignoring his yelp of protest. Dan sobbed loudly as he was dragged into the bedroom. Phil pulled out his cage from the closet and Dan whimpered at the sight of it. He could count the number of times he’d been in there with only one hand because he was a good neko who rarely got punished. But he hated the times he’d spent in there.

“You’re going to stay in here until you’ve come back to your senses, and until you finally decide to properly talk to me,” Phil stated.

Phil tutted when Dan looked up at him with wide, pleading eyes. “Honestly, what’s gotten in to you, Dan? I come back early from work to get ready for my one month anniversary dinner with Adam but now I gotta waste time cleaning your cum off the furniture!”

Phil pointed at the cage, and Dan’s shoulders drooped in defeat. There was no point in arguing. Dan started to feel guilty for his actions, ruining his Master’s anniversary in such an unpleasant way. His Master was a good man who didn’t deserve him, no matter how much Dan loved him. He wasn’t cruel, he was only trying to discipline him. So, Dan crawled into the cage with his tail hung between his legs.

Phil locked the cage. It was big enough for Dan to sit up and lay curled up. Phil was nice enough to always include a bowl of water and a small pillow and blanket in there.

Muttering in annoyance, Phil left the room to clean Dan’s mess. He then came back to get dressed for his dinner, never once looking at Dan despite his whining and whimpering. He left without a word, and Dan was surprised to find that he still hadn’t run out of tears.

Dan didn’t expect Phil to come home soon, in fact he was prepared for Phil to spend the night at Adam’s. It was obviously the better option than bringing Adam back here to see a miserable, useless neko in the room. But Dan told himself that he deserved it. He deserved having to spend the night in the cage, deserved being abandoned, deserved everything for being so naive and careless by falling for his owner.

After spending the night trying not to drown in all his negative thoughts and failing, he finally exhausted himself enough to go to sleep. His rest was short-lived however, as Phil actually returned a while later.

He quickly sat back up when he heard footsteps padding towards the room. He listened for a second pair of footsteps, but it seemed like Phil was alone.

He squinted when the lights were turned on, and blinked as he looked up. Phil was staring at him from the doorway, and Dan’s heart ached when he saw the look of disappointment on Phil’s face.

“I’ll have you know,” Phil talked lowly as he approached Dan, “Adam invited me over to his place after dinner but I could never leave you overnight like this.”

Dan didn’t understand. Why, why would Phil rather go back to a dumb neko than spend his anniversary night at his partner’s place? But his heart ached further at the knowledge that Phil actually cared enough to come back for him. He was a merciful Master who wouldn’t leave his pet in a cage for even a night, even though it was common to let nekos spend their whole sad lives caged up. Dan whimpered, Phil was making it harder for him to leave this privileged life and start a new one with some heartless owner.

Phil crouched down to be eye level with Dan. “You ready to talk to me now?” he questioned.

Dan nodded pitifully, sniffling. Phil unlocked the cage, but Dan didn’t move. He remained sat cross legged near the entrance. He did start speaking, though.

“Why?”

“Why what?” Phil asked. When he saw that Dan wasn’t going to move, he sat cross legged at the cage door, facing Dan.

“Why’d you come back when- when you could’ve spent the night with your. Your boyfriend? Why d-do you still care about me? Y-you’re making it harder for me!” Dan stuttered, unable to stop himself from crying again.

“Harder for you? I don’t understand, Dan. Of course I still care about you,” Phil spoke softly, brows furrowed in confusion. He wanted to hug Dan, but Dan didn’t look like he wanted any physical contact in that moment.

“Stop,” Dan sniffled, “just st-stop pretending already, I know I’m. I’m just a slave and. I’m a useless one and- and. Does no one want to buy me? Is that why? Nobody wants to take me off your hands?”

Phil was stunned by what he just heard. “Dan...” he began, but Dan wasn’t finished.

“I’m sorry, Master,” he stopped crying; it was easy when he finally accepted his fate, “Sorry because I tried to be a good pet for you, but I wasn’t good enough. Sorry I’m just wasting your space and time here now. Sorry for making you care for me even though you don’t need me anymore.”

“Dan-”

“I’m sorry you have to spend your anniversary night here, with a lousy neko. I should spend the night in the cage, it’s what I deserve,” Dan continued, speaking so fast he lost his breath.

He paused and looked up into Phil’s eyes, and was surprised to see that Phil was tearing up.

“Dan,” Phil shook his head and gently placed his hand on Dan’s shoulder, “listen here. I love you, Dan. Okay, it may not be the same way I love Adam, but I still love and care for you so much. You are still more important to me than he is, even if it’s our anniversary. You think you’re being replaced by Adam? No, honey, no. You’ll never be replaced, I’ll never sell you off, understand?”

Phil stroked Dan’s cheek, and the touch calmed Dan slightly as he leaned into it.

“And you don’t deserve to be punished for longer than necessary, okay, no neko deserves that. Nekos don’t deserve to be slaves, and I’d never take advantage of you or treat you as just a servant. You are a good pet, you’re my good pet. I may not need you to “serve” me anymore, but I still want you. Your personality, your company. Your warmth, the way your dimples appear when I make you smile. I still want all of that, how could I ever throw all of that away- throw you away?”

Dan had slowly moved to sit in Phil’s lap as Phil spoke. Phil cradled Dan and swayed them slowly, feeling Dan’s tail wrap around his waist.

“You’re amazing, Dan. And I’m sorry, too. I’m so sorry for neglecting you the past month. I’m sorry for not sharing with you about Adam sooner, I should’ve eased you into it instead of just breaking the news to you the way I did. I haven’t been the best owner recently, but I promise I’ll take care of you. Just because Adam’s in the picture now doesn’t mean I would forget you.”

Dan smiled for the first time since he knew about Adam, and Phil was happy to see his dimples again. Dan looked up at Phil, his eyes glimmering with adoration. Phil smiled back and kissed his forehead.

“If you’re not fond of Adam, I understand. But I hope you’ll warm up to him. He really likes you, you know?” Phil said hopefully.

“He does? Even though I never talked to him?” Dan said, amused.

“Mm-hmm,” Phil nodded vigorously.

Six months later

“Wake up, sleepyhead.”

“Mmphh,” Dan groaned, curling around the warm body next to him tighter.

“It’s your turn to make breakfast!”

“Urghhh why can’t Adam do it!” Dan grumbled, headbutting the shoulder next to him.

“Hey, ‘twas your idea to make it a taking turns thing,” Adam mumbled and pulled the blanket over his head.

Phil chuckled at the sight before him. He would’ve just made breakfast himself, but Dan had insisted that every chore around the house should be done in turns just so he could still feel useful. Even though Phil assured him plenty of times that he was more than okay with having Dan just be the lazy and cute pet in their little family.

After a few more minutes, Dan got up and stumbled his way to the bathroom. He brushed his teeth and let his mind wonder. Life is good. He may not be legally free of his slave status, but he is fortunate enough to live with not just one but two Masters who treat him with respect, shower him with love and care and spoil him more than any neko owner out there would.

Dan learned that his purpose in life wasn’t what the training centre brainwashed him into thinking. He wasn’t meant to merely be a servant, he was meant to bring happiness into his little family, to love and be loved. Just because he wasn’t doing what his status requires him to, it doesn’t mean he was of no use; he can still be cherished.

Sure, Phil may not love him the same way he loved Adam, but Phil still loved him and that was enough for Dan. He kept his promise on taking care of him and never leaving him. Dan felt so grateful to have him in his life.

He walked out of the bathroom and saw Adam still sleeping, his boxers still on the floor where it was thrown carelessly the previous night before they had sex. Dan smiled at the memory. He’d learned that the only thing more fun than pleasuring his Master, is getting to pleasure two Masters.

He entered the kitchen and saw Phil leaning against the counter, playing some game on his phone while waiting for the kettle to boil. Phil looked up when he heard Dan come in.

“Finally, you’re up!” Phil exclaimed, “I was about to just make breakfast myself.”

“You know you’re not supposed to do that! It’s my turn,” Dan tried to sound grouchy, but he couldn’t stop himself from smiling.

“G’mornin,” Phil smiled back and kissed Dan’s forehead.

Technically, Dan is Phil’s - and now Adam’s - slave. But Dan is also the luckiest neko in the world.

I originally wanted to end it with angst where Dan actually does get sold off but. I can’t imagine Phil to be that heartless haha and I don’t like sad endings either so yay for happy ending ^^

[conartist23]

HEADS UP, I GET A LITTLE WORDY

In the first half of this year, I was invited to contribute to a WicDiv zine that unfortunately fell apart. For these 2 pages, I fulfilled the role of both artist and writer (article and editor notes) (because clearly I’m a low-key control freak)

I don’t usually explain my intentions, and I think it’s fun when there’s something to unpack in creativity. But I’m going to touch on some points, in broad strokes.

So, after the jump, my musings, and a full transcript in case its hard to read (with tumblr resolution it probably will be)

The brief itself dictated it would be an in world magazine, we’d be making articles and art as if the gods were real. As such, I leaned toward merchandise, because that felt tangible and novel.

So, first up, Persephone Perfume. Probably sparked by a loose name connection (which I touch on in the editors notes). Visually, it speaks to an important meta-element of WicDiv, decapitation. Logically, it was a way to work in a likeness, so the product was identifiable, rather than some disconnected motif. Storms and Pomegranates are tied to the myth of her namesake.

Next, the Camden market shoddy reality of the not at all unnerving perfume head. In a rare dalliance with comedy, my mind went to knock-offs. What’s more tragic than a t-shirt adorned by Spider-man, Shrek and Darth Vader with the words Justice League… A failed product. So, rather than be the misguided but honest result of sweatshop labour, it’s a semi legitimate venture. I say semi, not to make you laugh, but because I imagined merchandising from the gods being a licensing nightmare. It didn’t make sense for me, to have the gods be hands on with trinkets, branded mugs etc. So, what started as a product defined by the corporate machine, soon began to unravel, design problems leading them from idealistic proof to unsatisfying reality. So, the pineapple headed, generic featured toby mug from hell, ended up being abandoned, with swathes of it turning up at markets across the uk, in a desperate last ditch attempt to make something. Watch me hardly touch on this pseudo world building in the tiny paragraph I gave myself. More god merch as easter eggs.

Woden graffiti. At the time, his identity was a mystery, and technically, in world, still would be. Not much else to say other than I enjoyed writing the banter, which stemmed from me actually not really knowing what Woden did (cue headfirst dive back into the comics). Rip is written on the wall, because, everyone fucking dies in Wic Div.

Finally, an image of the underground, because it’s London af. Originally, the train lights were more eye like, to dubiously suggest The Morrigan. It’s not really a visual associated with her, couple that with being ridiculously large, I moved against it. Instead, it’s the shadows cast, you can make out the outline of The Morrigan with a crow. I toyed with touching on will o’ the wisps, to further root in folklore, but efficiency of words and all that. I applied homemade filters, messed with the colours, all to push an analogue fuzziness.

My persefumone joke. Says it all really. I am a bad person and I don’t remotely care. Crimes against comedy ☑︎

With all this said, it’s up to you if I’m using the word jaunt legitimately or ironically…

THE TRANSCRIPT

We managed to get our hands on the full page ad of the pretentiously named “Pom”. This proposed persephone perfume, promised perfection it was not permitted to provide. The product ran into a lot of problems, and went dark for a while. But nothing, could save us from that steely gaze that follows you around the room. It’s back, not quite as fresh, in our segment “spotted in the wild”.

Spotted in the Wild

[see left] Discovered at Camden Market this weekend, a fantastic likeness of dear Persephone.

Wait till you get those proofs back before you run the ads eh?

Heads up (I know, I know, I’m so witty), apparently this one contains chemicals unsanctioned by most known governments… that’s adult speak for this shit is poison. Sounds like someone’s been reading the Hades playbook and wants to invite you all for a jaunt in the underworld. Stay clear of this one.

Unless you want to use the head as an ornament… then pour it out and place it on the mantel. Classy.

Everyone’s favourite Woden? Someone’s favourite? Probably? What is it he does exactly? I don’t know… I love my job don’t fire me.

[EDITOR’S NOTE : Woden is a producer, as in he makes. The job is indifferent to you frankly. I, on the other hand, think you’re…. ok. You’re safe. For now. ]

Thank the gods! ;) praying emoji. Tell me, oh benevolent overlord, in your infinite wisdom, is that huginn or munnin?

[EDITOR’S NOTE : Dont. Push. It.]

Another day, another eagle-eyed (or should that be crow uhurr hurr) reader claiming to have photo evidence of the ever elusive Morrigan.

“Evidence”.

Well… at least the potato that captured such classics as 'alien autopsy 56' and 'bigfoot goes on holiday' survives to this day.

Don’t tell them it’s the lights of an oncoming train okay? Leave a little magic in the world will you? For me?

[EDITOR’S NOTE: How did he not make a perfume/Persephone joke. Persefumone. Forgive me. I am deeply sorry.]

I enjoyed what I did, working to an outline, deadlines. I don’t think I’ll be doing a zine in the immediate future, I’m concentrating on my own projects, particularly on ways to avoid, you know, actually doing them.

You read all that? Want a hug? I know, that boy sure does chat shit. He’s gone now, he can’t hurt you anymore.

[sapphicseekingsapphic]

i submitted but i dont want it to be posted anymore what can i do?

Please think before submitting to this blog. Remember that you will be put on the internet, where strangers (some of whom could be grown men) can see your picture and contact you. I spend a lot of time working on this blog and I find it frustrating when people submit something and then change their mind a few hours later.

Your question is answered in the faq:

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

1. HOW DO I GET MY PIC TO APPEAR HERE?http://GirlsLookingForGirls.tumblr.com/submitSubmissions are ONLY open on weekends. When submissions are closed, the link will say “url not found”.

2. WHY HAVEN’T YOU POSTED MY PIC?

If it’s been less than a week, it might still be in the queue

You pressed the ‘submit’ button more than once. This meant I was spammed and you may now be blocked.

There was nudity, partial nudity or suggestion of nudity

You identify as male, or stated that you and a male partner were both looking for someone

There was a technical difficulty.Or you didn’t follow the tag rules:

You selected more than 1 age group tag

You did not select an age group or state your age at all

You your age and age group tag did not match

You selected more than 1 location tag

Read the rules again and try submitting again :)

3. DID YOU GET MY PIC?I honestly can’t answer this question. I go through hundreds of submissions and just check that the rules were followed and either delete or queue them. I don’t really take notice of the URL. If you are super worried, submit again in a few hours.

4. HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO GET POSTED?It will now take 1 week or less. If your picture doesn’t appear in that time, it either didn’t follow the rules or there was a technical problem.

5. DO YOU KNOW OF ANY OTHER SITES LIKE THIS ONE? Yep. Check out the links

6. CAN YOU DELETE MY PIC NOW?I’m happy to do this for you but I need the link to your post. The link looks something like this: www.girlslookingforgirls.tumblr.com/post/1234567890Please do not ask me to delete your post without providing this. I’m not asking for your url, I need the direct link to your actual post. If you send it via ask, it says that you cannot send a link. All I really need is the part after /post/ so if your link is http://girlslookingforgirls.tumblr.com/post/1234567890 please just send /post/1234567890.

7. I’M TURNING 18 SOON. IS IT OK IF I SELECT BOTH “16to17” AND “18to24” TAG?No. Select only the correct tag.

8. I FORGOT SOMETHING IN MY SUBMISSION, CAN YOU CHANGE IT FOR ME?No, I don’t make changes to submissions or posts. You can resubmit if you want to. But wait a few hours first. Otherwise it will come up right after your first post and I will assume it is spam. I work my way from the oldest to newest posts so even if you send a message, I will only see it after I have already deleted or queued your submission. .

9. I CHANGED MY MIND & DON’T WANT MY SUBMISSION POSTED. CAN YOU DELETE IT FOR ME?If you followed the rules, it is somewhere in the queue (which holds 300 submissions). If you didn’t follow the rules, I have deleted it. It is not fair to expect me to go through hundreds of posts to try to find yours. If it gets posted, send me the link and I can delete it for you then.

10. HOW WILL I KNOW IF MY SUBMISSION GETS POSTED?By checking the page.

11. WILL YOU LET ME KNOW IF YOU DON’T ACCEPT MY SUBMISSION?No. I will just delete it. If you don’t take the time to read the rules, I won’t spend any extra time helping you.

12. WHY DO I NEED TO TELL YOU MY AGE?To promote safety for younger users, I add a disclaimer to all submissions of people 15 and under. I need to know whether or not this is you. All you need to do is say how old you are.

13. CAN I SUBMIT A PIC IN MY BRA?No. I do not accept even partial nudes or “suggested” nudity (where I can’t tell if you’re wearing anything eg. a low top that cannot be seen in the photo). Post whatever you like on your own page but please wear clothing in submissions. Read the rules for further clarification.

14. WHO CAN SUBMIT?All queer females (trans, asexual and nonbinary inclusive).Men (and those who identify predominately as men) are not allowed.

15. CAN MY PARTNER AND I SUBMIT?Yes, if both of you fit the criteria above. If one of you identifies as male, then no. This blog doesn’t allow men at all. If you are looking for a threesome that includes a male, go someplace else.

16. CAN I SUBMIT EVEN IF I HAVE A MALE PARTNER?It depends. If you are looking for a girl to join in sex that includes a male, go someplace else. If you are a queer female looking for friends OR you are polygamous and only looking for a romantic partner for yourself (NOT including your male partner/s) then you are welcome. If you are poly, please be upfront to avoid hurting people.

17. WHY DON’T YOU POST TEXT POSTS?Because it would be unfair to the people who submitted on the weekend and have been waiting in the queue. Plus once I post one, I get hit by about 20 more right away. Especially if it’s one of those “like if you’re in this area” I could have whole pages of just those if I posted them all. If you do want to find someone in your area, check out the tags!

18. HOW DO I CONTACT SOMEONE IF THEY DON’T LEAVE CONTACT INFO?It is no longer a rule that people need to leave contact info in the caption - simply because it meant even less submissions were making it through, so now the only requirements are stating your age and not selecting tags that don’t apply to you.If someone submits while logged onto tumblr, it will say the url of the person who submitted in the notes. If you aren’t logged into tumblr when you submit, it asks for your email when submitting but comes up as “anonymous submitted”. I do try to delete any of these that I notice in the inbox but I’m usually preoccupied with checking for ages, tags and possible nudity, so some get through and I’m sorry about this. If you check the notes and it doesn’t have their url, then try reblogging their post and saying you wish they had left their url and hope that they see it!

For more details about this blog and how it works, read the about section: https://girlslookingforgirls.tumblr.com/about