#and thennnnnn there’s the sperm donor and I refuse to ask someone who threatened me financially already so yeah
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#I am so beyond nervous#financially I technicall have 50 to my name#I have no job atm because I kept getting stressed out chickening on applications#like none of them actually felt like I would enjoy them and none of them actually financially increased my situation#and I WAS fine until my car broke down and needed over 1k in repairs#so I have until the 11 to cough up 100 monies#and until the 16 to cough up 200 monies for medical payment#and then my bday is the 18 so I have no fucking money beginning my 26 year of life#I filed for unemployment but I’ve no idea if or when I’ll get the money#like I’m praying for it to come next week just to pay off the car monthly repair plan#but I seriously want to die#like I can’t ask my family for money becuase I’ve either already borrowed or they are too broke to rely on or#they’ll fuss and stress about me which is just a terrible feeling#and thennnnnn there’s the sperm donor and I refuse to ask someone who threatened me financially already so yeah#and I’m not going to ask my friends either because I don’t want to become that type of person#where my friends see me as a lost cause#and there’s still me that needs to pay for things for a wedding I’m part of#and just I need money like#I was thinking of applying for a second credit card but they want to know what employment and income you have#can’t provide that because technically I DONT HAVE IT ANYMORE#I just feel so stuck and suffocated#like IM QUALIFIED for careers#it’s a matter of them being fucking open#and also what I’m qualified for I don’t want to actually work in atm#but I have to bite the bullet and yeah it’s not like I’d even get the jobs I’m qualified for anyway#because I just have a basic amount of experience#because all I’ve done is college for the last 7 years and then one fellowship#like I don’t even want to work because the 9 to 5 life doesn’t work well for me#like give me 10 to 6 and four days schedule but we don’t live in that world#anyway this is me praying I get the job I applied for the deadline is due tomorrow
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